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☆ 2008 LAcon Jared Solo

Official name: Creation Entertainment's SALUTE TO SUPERNATURAL (Jared on stage) Location: Marriott Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles, Cal Time: Sunday March 30, 2008, 11:30 AM- 12:00 PM (GMT-7) Panelists: Jared Padalecki Last episode: 3x12 "Jus in Bello"- 2/21/2008 Next episode: 3x13 "Ghostfacers"- 4/24/2008

Question Index: 1a- Character Mentoring; 3x08; Colin Ford, Ridge Canipe; Pranks 1b- Jared on Colin Ford and Ridge Canipe; fan congratulations on engagement 2a- 2008 SAG Awards look-a-likes 2b- Meg!Sam’s scream; 2x14; ACT FOUR, EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT; adlib; creative control 3- 3x03; ACT FIVE, INT. BELA'S CAR – NIGHT - EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT; adlib Questions with an unknown order: FR1- Most challenging episode; 3x11 FR2- Jensen’s best episode; 3x02 FR3- fan request; lost my shoe quote a- Embarrassing Fanboy moments; Tom hanks FR4- University of Texas enrollment; Friday the 13th b- Cinematography; synchronized scene; 3x11; ACT TWO, INT. DINER – DAY; Sam’s bedside ruler FR5- Cinematography; synchronized scene; 3x11; ACT TWO, INT. DINER – DAY; Sam’s bedside ruler c1a- Tattoos; 3x12, 3x11; 2008 Writers' Strike changes c1b- Jared’s tattoos c2- sunglasses and pigtails; 2x05 bts photo c3a- fan appreciation for entertaining show c3b- Future Projects; professional goals; 5-10 years 🔮 d1a- fav word d1b- least fav word d1c- fav curse word FR6- Pranks; 2x21, ACT FIVE, EXT. Ramshackle House; 2x22 , ACT ONE, Int. Abandoned House- Back Bedroom- That Night e- Pranks; 2x21, ACT FIVE, EXT. Ramshackle House; 2x22 , ACT ONE, Int. Abandoned House- Back Bedroom- That Night FR7- 3x11; block shooting f- 3x11; block shooting FR8- Fan Request; body swap portrayal g1- Fan Request; body swap portrayal g2a- Getting into character; Sam g2b- fav part of playing Sam FR9- Sam catchphrase h1a- Horror Roles; Preferred Role; work/family balance h1b- Future Projects; genre of choice FR10- Time between takes FR11- Closing 1+ Closing

(video playlist/links and transcript below the cut)

(*if you notice any mistakes in the video transcripts or found more video coverage of the con please point them out, thank you*👍)

Fan reports: [insomnia_geek] • [bardicvoice] • [sarah_p] • [annkiri] (*warning: Fan reports as a source can't be fully verified unless video or audio of the con can confirm it. Be mindful not to take Fan Reports as the unquestionable and unbiased truth.*)

-missing entrance-

◘Jared in LA: on Lil Sam & Dean by BabyBlueSteel◘

Jared: (sitting down, center stage) (audience giggles) That was really fun to watch. (audience woo) I’ll watch- I don’t know about y’all guys but I’ll watch that and I’m going, “Man, we have been doing this a long time.” (audience chuckles) Would’ve been two and a half years, but we look like kids back then. (audience laughs and a woo) I’ve grown up. (shakes his head, swipes a hand, and mouths something) (audience laughs and a catcall)

(pats thigh) Thank y’all guys for coming out once again. Um, I hope I can.. answer some questions and be exciting. And I’ll be absolutely boring, idiotic. (smiles) (audience giggles) So, uh.. do we have any questions just to start it out? Anybody curious about anything that they.. didn’t get to ask.. our creator Kripke or, uh, wanted to shoot my way specifically?

Anybody? (looks to his right) I see a few waving hands, but I know it’s not- (laughs) (someone off stages says something) (?Right on?) (to the audience) Are y’all having a good time? (audience cheers) Are y’all here all- (points down and then flings his hand) Are- Who- How many people are (circle gesture) from the area, just drove in? (a portion of the audience raises their hands) That means the rest actually made a trip here, huh? (audience woos) Wow. Thank y’all guys. I mean, honestly thank the people who are.. (?live as here?) as well. But, um, thank y’all for coming out to see.. us guys? We guys? (audience laughs)

My mom’s an English teacher so she may be happy (?right now?). (audience laughs) Don’t tell her.

(looks left and right) Which side? Which side? I’ll start (points to his left) this side.

•(1:09 BBS)- LA08JP;Q1a- Character Mentoring; 3x08; Colin Ford, Ridge Canipe; Pranks

Fan: Hi.

Jared: Hi.

Fan: Um, hi, Jared. I’m Anne.

Jared: Hi there Anne.

Fan: Um, I (?miss?)- Um, I love the “Very Supernatural Christmas” episode? (Jared: I do too.) And, um, the kids were great, but I was wondering if you guys, um.. coached them at all, because they had your mannerisms down really well.

Jared: You know, we did not coach them (hand slice) at all. They just really looked for these kids- I mean, obviously, uh, Dean- Young Dean had been used before. Uh, but they just found these kids that really were fans of the show and knew us- And apparently, uh, on set they had the exact same relationship that Jensen and I do on set. So, it wasn’t (audience awes) just like on camera they were goofing around, but then on- off set, you know, they’d call cut and they’d be kind of playing pranks with the crew guys and (audience laughs) (?something?).

So, it was really cool. And they had some really good ideas, um, about the show. And they were kind of talking about the character. And I was like, “…That’s a good idea. I wish I would have thought of that.” (laughs) (audience laughs) I was like, “I’m gonna claim that as my own whenever I.. say it.” But-

◘Jared on the Weechesters by IY◘

•(2:08 BBS, 0:06 IY)- LA08JP;Q1b- Jared on Colin Ford and Ridge Canipe; fan congratulations on engagement

Fan: So you were able to meet each other then?

Jared: We did. We did met each other and talk a little bit. But we didn’t- We didn’t really coach ‘em. I mean, I knew, uh- There’s a pretty rigorous casting, uhm, schedule for the Supernatural show especially. I know they look.. in LA. They look in Vancouver. They accept tapes. So, they see a lot of people for the characters. And I knew that it was going to be big to cast young Sam and Dean. So I figured whoever they.. would have cast would have been, you know, home runners. And they were, so. (nods)

Fan: It was an amazing episode. And congratulations on your engagement.

Jared: (pats thigh and nods) Thank you so much. (audience claps) (claps and turns to his right)

◘Jared in LA: The BDABR Laugh by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:02 BBS)- LA08JP;Q2a- 2008 SAG Awards look-a-likes

Fan: Hi, Jared. Thanks for coming.

Jared: Thank you.

Fan: Two quick little questions. (Jared: Okay.) Number one, were you and Jensen at the SAG Awards back in January?

Jared: (shakes head) No, we were not. I don’t know who the SAG Awards w-

Fan: Well, then we have shapeshifters.

Jared: Do we really? (laughs)

Fan: We do.

Jared: No way. That’s too funny.

Fan: And every time (?I saw you or somebody who looked like you?) ..What is that? But you weren’t there.

Jared: I- I promise I wasn’t there. (audience laughs) When was- When were the SAG Awards? I think-

Fan: In January.

Jared: I think I was actually.. in Austin with some of you guys. (Audience member: Yeah!) (audience woos) (Fan: Okay.) And then I went there to London to-

Fan: Alright, well that’s freaky. (audience chuckles)

Jared: It is freaky… (to audience) Just goes to show you. (audience giggles)

•(0:38 BBS)- LA08JP;Q2b- Meg!Sam’s scream; 2x14; ACT FOUR, EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT; adlib; creative control

Fan: Yeah.. The Episode “Born Under a Bad Sign,” (Jared: Yeah.) at the end- (Jared: I just (?lost to management?)) At the end when Sam was being dispossessed or whatever. (audience mumbles) That scream, is that you or is that, like, memorized or something?

Jared: It is- It is me. (Fan: Ouch.) But it’s w- (audience laughs) (nods) Yeah, ouch. It’s me, but it’s- but it’s through some sort of synthesizer or it’s put through some.. vocal changes by our effects guys. (Fan: Okay.)

But, um, here’s a funny- I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but, um, the scene originally ends with me getting burnt and kind of coming to and going, you know, “What’s going on?” And Dean looking at me like…(wobbles his head) you know, “Is it you again?” But, he decided to add a punch and (audience laughs) then they (?used it?). (nods) And it turned out pretty funny, so I like it.

He was like, “You know I’d punch you, if you just sat there.” And then so, the reaction of, “Why did you just punch me?” (audience laugh) I mean, kind of like- (laughs)

Um, but that was a lot of fun. They- they allow us to sort of play. And, uh, it was a lot of fun for me to play a demon. I hope I get to do it again. (audience chuckles, cheers, and claps)

(claps thigh then turns left) Hi.

•(1:40 BBS)- LA08JP;Q3- 3x03; ACT FIVE, INT. BELA'S CAR – NIGHT - EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT; adlib

Fan: I’m (?)

Jared: Hi there.

Fan: Hi. In the “Bad Day at..” (Jared: “Black Rock”?) Yeah. At the very end scene when, uh, Bella’s driving off with your.. tickets, (Jared laughs) Jensen says five things about her- Or, uh, Dean does it and says, uh, “Son of a Bitch” becomes (Jared: Son of a Bitch!) (audience laughs) (?) (?such that, you had?) to turn away from laughing so (?many times?)? I mean-

Jared: That was- That was- That was Jared laughing. (nods) (audience laughs)

It was- We had done it- We- It was- It was a oner. I don’t know if y’all remember the shot, but.. we’re kind of.. kind of worn and trudging the graveway. (tilts head) Graveway? (audience laughs) (?). Um, and- and- our Steadicam operator, who’s fantastic, is doing this long, hard Steadicam shot. (mimics the crew) And we have, you know, people holding boom mics and people holding, uh.. uh, flags to get us lighting. And it’s just this big orchestra of.. 50 people doing things at the same time, (?and it?) to work out (snaps fingers) perfectly.

And, um- And so the very end of the take- It wasn’t scripted. Um, we were supposed to watch her drive by. And then looking at each other and I’m kind of like, (shrugs) “You got what you deserve.” But then he goes, “Son of a Bitch!” (audience laughs) And I was like, (closes his eyes) “If I ruin this, they’re gonna string me up.” (turns his face away) So, I had to turn away, because the last thing I wanna do is to bust out, and then it’s like, “Alright, going back to one.” I think our Steadicam operator crush me (audience chuckles) or something. (nods)

Fan: It was very funny. We-

Jared: (nods) It was funny. It was funny.

Fan: (?Right?). Thank you.

Jared: Thank you.

(missing coverage *the remaining footage may be listed in the incorrect chronological order and the fan reports could be erroneous or incomplete)

•(insomnia_geek •4, bardicvoice para. 9)- LA08JP;FR1- Most challenging episode; 3x11

“The most challenging episode for him has been Mystery Spot, because it was such a weird episode for an actor. In order to make it real, it had to be real to Jared. He had to imagine his brother dying in order to get himself emotionally in the right place, which was particularly hard since it was around Christmastime, and he gets so happy around that time that it's hard to get on set and have to be sad.” -IG

“Asked what had been the most challenging thing for him to film this season, he opted instantly for Mystery Spot, saying it was very hard because of the subject matter, and there was a lot to grasp and a lot to play all at once. What made it all the harder was that it was filming close to Christmas, so he himself was feeling very happy – and then went to work and had to put himself in the mindset of his brother dying. It was funny to watch his face as he demonstrated being holiday-happy and then having to flip the switch into emotionally devastated. And in a point that got repeated several times by both boys, he noted that the heavy emotional stuff is always the hardest to do precisely because you as the actor have to put yourself fully into the moment and really feel the emotions your character is supposed to be experiencing, because if they aren’t genuine within you, they won’t be convincing on screen.” - B

•(insomnia_geek •5, bardicvoice para. 14)- LA08JP;FR2- Jensen’s best episode; 3x02

“He thinks Jensen's best episode this season has been The Kids Are Alright. He could watch it as an audience member since he wasn't in it a lot, and just loved it. It was scary and touching and funny and whatnot.” - IG

“Asked about his favorite performance from Jensen this season, Jared said that he really enjoyed The Kids Are Alright. He said that Jensen is always good, but since the brothers had so many scenes apart in that episode, he really got into it because he could watch it almost like a member of the audience, and he really enjoyed the experience. He said that normally he and Jensen are in scenes together and are always working with and playing off of each other, so it was a different and fun experience to just be able to watch Jensen working without having to react to him as Sam.” - B

•(bardicvoice para. 21, annkiri para. 11)- LA08JP;FR3- fan request; lost my shoe quote

“One fan asked him to deliver the “I lost my shoe” line from Bad Day At Black Rock and he cheerfully complied – only to laugh himself silly as the girl left the microphone, and promptly lost her shoe! She was a good sport and held the errant pump up in the air as she made her way back to her seat.” - B

“ALSO - funny moment someone asked Jared to say, "I lost my shoe" which he did and then as the was waking away, she actually LOST HER SHOE. Jared cracked up and said, "you can't script that."” - A

◘Jared in LA: Who makes him fangirl? by BabyBlueSteel◘

The audience is laughing.

Jared: You couldn’t have scripted that.

(turns to his left) Hi.

•(0:06 BBS)- LA08JP;Qa- Embarrassing Fanboy moments; Tom hanks

Fan: Hey. Um, I was just wondering when you first started out, getting into this and that, did you, uh, ever- You know, you’re running into, uh, celebrities and that kind of thing, did you ever do anything really embarrassing that you (?can’t carry?) yourself off?

◘Jared Talking About Being Starstruck by clockstopper◘

Jared: Um, like running into celebrities? (fan laughs) Or just in general? (audience laughs) ‘Cause I assure you, I’ve done plenty of embarrassing things in general.

Uuum.. I’m not sure. I-I remember… There are a few times- I’m- I’m more that way with musicians then I am with other actors because I like to consider myself an actor and I’m like, “So, I understand the craft.” But, musicians I’m like, (dead cow stare with open mouth) “Duuuuh” (audience laughs) like.

But, um, I remember at my, uh- I was at a- I was at the.. (shakes head) maybe the Golden Globes or one of the after parties and I saw Tom Hanks. And I was like, (open mouth gasp). (audience giggles) He is my- I’d- I’d love to have a career like that. I love his work. I think he’s fantastic. I think he’s a classy individual. (audience woos and whistles) I like the way he conducts his business.

(to audience member) You okay? (audience chuckles)

Jared grimaces and then nods his head. Then Jared gives a thumbs up and smiles. The audience laughs.

Jared: You scared me. (laughs) Dnuh! (mimics a full body jerk)

Um.. but so, I remember seeing- Luckily, it was a private moment of kind of just sitting there, you know, slacked-jawed. But, um, I remember thinking later, like, if someone was watching they would’ve thought I was an absolute little fangirl. (audience laughs and cheers) Boy. Boy. (?Fangirl?). (smiles)

Thank you. (turns to his right)

•(insomnia_geek •7, sarah_p para. 7)- LA08JP;FR4- University of Texas enrollment; Friday the 13th

“The girl from Texas A&M asked why he was ever enrolled at UT (was going to major in engineering before getting into acting). He joked with her about the basketball teams, said he loves the Austin area, his sister is about to graduate from there. Apparently, Jared just signed to film the next Friday the 13th movie, so it'll be shooting in that area.” - IG

“ (…) I was glad that I had seen Jamie pre-panel, because she explained to me her question to Jared (about why he'd ever want to go to UT vs. Texas A&M), and since I understood the rivalry she was talking about and everything, it was way funnier. Also notable was when she told Jared that he was dead to her. HEE. :D” - SP

◘Jared in LA: Why DOES Sam keep a ruler by the bed? by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:00 BBS)- LA08JP;Qb- Cinematography; synchronized scene; 3x11; ACT TWO, INT. DINER – DAY; Sam’s bedside ruler

Fan: Hi, Jared. (Jared: Hi.) Um, I just found out apparently you just answered this in the Breakfast, but I know some of us weren’t there. So, I’m asking anyways. Uh, sorry guys but-

Jared: Well, you breakfesters have-

Fan: Yeah, sorry. You get it twice. Um, in “Mystery Spot” in that amazing scene in the diner, you know, (Jared: [nods] mhmm.) where Sam knows everything that Dean’s gonna say? (Jared: [nods] Yeah.) And it was kind of that synchronized scene, and I wanna know, like.. how you film that and if you overdub.

And of course, the follow up question is, you know, we know Sam Winchester wears make up. (audience laughs) (Jared: What?) And, you know, Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. (Jared: What?!) Why does he (?even keep-?) keep a ruler by his bed? (audience laughs, oo’s, and claps. Jared throws his head back laughing)

Jared: I don’t know. Maybe somebody else can answer me that question. (audience laughs) Um, (laughs) (audience yells out some answers) Uh, there are youths in the audience here, (?right?)?

•(insomnia_geek •8, bardicvoice para. 11, sara_p para. 14)- LA08JP;FR5- Cinematography; synchronized scene; 3x11; ACT TWO, INT. DINER – DAY; Sam’s bedside ruler

“In Mystery Spot, the synchronized talking. He had Jensen say it a bunch of times while in the car on the way to set, then started mimicking him, so when Sam had to imitate him like he's heard it a hundred times before, he could get that reaction. The hardest part was not getting it right, but trying not to laugh or act so surprised when they did get it right. As for why Sam has a ruler by the bed . . . answer that yourselves.” - IG

“Asked about how many takes it had required to nail the scene in the diner in Mystery Spot where Sam and Dean speak the same lines simultaneously, Jared laughed that they actually got it down pretty quickly once the cameras rolled. He explained that he and Jensen get picked up from their homes by the same SUV every day, and that they always use the drive to the set or location to run lines with each other. Since Sam’s ability to perfectly match Dean’s lines was supposed to have been because Sam had heard them delivered as many as a hundred times, he said that he had Jensen simply repeat the lines over and over again while he listened on the drive in that day. He laughed that there was one line that Jensen kept screwing up – he couldn’t remember which one it was, but he said that Jensen sometimes used a contraction and sometimes spoke the full word, changing the rhythm of the line, and that he kept stopping Jensen and laughingly complaining, “You’re killing me, here, man! I can’t get it if you don’t! Which way are you going to say it?” When they actually did it on set, he said that the hardest thing was for them not to break out laughing in self-congratulation somewhere in the middle after they’d successfully nailed part of it.” - B

“Since I did have a REAL question (I mean, I'm not TOTALLY inappropriate ;)), Jared (while making direct eye-contact with me almost the ENTIRE TIME, which was just...unreal) said that on the way to set in the morning, he had Jensen say the line a bunch of times. In his mind, since Sam was saying the lines as if he's heard them time and time again, he needed to know what they would sound like so Sam could imitate Dean exactly. He said the hardest part wasn't he and Jensen getting the lines out together, but trying not to either get really excited or start laughing after a successful line. He also said that there was some line in there that Jensen kept either adding or subtracting a contraction from, which obviously threw off the rhythm, and made them do the take a lot more times. IT WAS AWESOME. :):)” - SP

◘Jared in LA: tattoos and pics by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:00 BBS)- LA08JP;Qc1a- Tattoos; 3x12, 3x11; 2008 Writers' Strike changes

Fan: Since we’ve seen you guys shirtless (audience laughs) in many different episodes, so (?)-

Jared: Aooo! (audience laughs) (shakes his head and waves his hand)

Fan: (?). Uh, I was wondering is there, like, a significant time when you guys got those? Do you guys have anymore tattoos that we’re going to be seeing? (audience laughs)

Jared: I have one, but- No. Um, that’s- that was, uh.. I- Funny how- I don’t know how some of y’all may find this. Maybe it’s not interesting. But “Jus In Bello” was actually filmed (taps ankle), uh, before “Mystery Spot.” But, because of the strike and because we didn’t know what was gonna happen to the show, the fate of the show, the fate of.. the business in general, it had to air last because it left more of a cliff hanger with the introduction of Lilith than, uhm- Because we didn’t know if we were gonna be able to add more episodes to the season. And so.. there was some.. sort of cliffhanger in “Jus In Bello.”

Anyways, um, that was just something.. added for that show and we- we will have those, I guess, if we have to do some more, um.. (shrugs) shirtless scenes. (audience giggles, cheers, claps) (laughs)

Um, (laughs and then shakes head) I didn’t know what to say.

But, none- none more than I know of yet. No more than I know of yet.

•(1:03 BBS)- LA08JP;Qc1b- Jared’s tattoos

Fan: Okay, do you have tattoos?

Jared: I do not. I’d like some, but, um, I do not yet. Um.. Do you? (audience laughs) (to audience) I’m not gonna ask where.

(turns to his left)

•(1:17 BBS)- LA08JP;Qc2- sunglasses and pigtails; 2x05 bts photo

Fan: Hi, Jared. (Jared: Hi.) I’m Michelle. I have a prop actually.

Jared: Uh-oh. (fan laughs) That’s scary. Is it the shapeshifters from the SAG Awards? (audience laughs)

Fan: No. No. It’s you, I think. It might be Jaraldina. (audience and Jared laughs) This is a behind the scene picture that we bid on and I- there has to be an interesting story about it. You-

Jared: Is there? Yeah. Can I? (someone hands Jared the photo) I’ll- I’ll hold it up. Is there a giant me? (turns around to look at the screen behind him) Oh. (audience chuckles)

Fan: There’s the wide one here.

Jared: Yes, there is. (takes the photo and looks at it)

Fan: And a close one.

Jared: (?Look at?) this. (laughs out loud and then turns the close up photo towards Creation’s camera.)

Fan: There’s a.. (?)

The audience laughs and claps. Jared takes another look at the wide shot and laughs again. Then he holds up the wide shot.

Fan: It might not be you. You can say it’s not you.

Jared: Um, I’d like to say it’s not me. But, the (?evidence?) (audience chuckles) is, um, it’s (?anonymous?). (audience laughs)

Yeah, I don’t know exactly what that was. (audience chuckles) I-I wish I had some great explanation for why I’m wearing pink.. (?braids?) (audience yells out something) I’m- I’m just gonna say I lost a dare or something. (audience laughs) Yeah, that’s it. I lost a dare.

Every now and again, we, uh- We kind of get goofy on set. It keeps the- (laughs) It keeps the.. (laughs and nods) spirts high. I need to know where you found these. (?) (audience laughs) You want them back? (stands to hand the pictures back)

Fan: No! You can have them.

Jared: Oh, good I’ll destroy them. (audience laughs) Good. (laughs) That is- That was Jarl- Jarldi- Jaraldiny- Jaredina. (audience chuckles) (nods) Yes. That was funny that you found me. (audience giggles) (?What a nerd? or ?Whatever?). (Fan: Yeah.) (laughs) Thank you.

◘Jared in LA: Where does he see himself in 10 years? by BabyBlueSteel◘

(turns to his right) Hi there.

•(0:03 BBS)- LA08JP;Qc3a- fan appreciation for entertaining show

Fan: Hi, Jared. I’m Debbie.

Jared: Hi, Debbie.

Fan: Thank you so much for all entertaining you have given us such a great show. You and Jensen.

Jared: Thank you for.. being entertained. (audience laughs)

•(0:11 BBS)- LA08JP;Qc3b- Future Projects; professional goals; 5-10 years 🔮

Fan: Um, I have a question for you. It’s not about the show, even though I know we want it to run for maybe ten years. But, professionally, (Jared: Sure.) where would you see yourself within the next five to ten years?

Jared: Where do I or I’d like to see myself? (audience laughs)

Fan: Where do you want- Where would you like?

Jared: Uum.. I would like to beee… working. (nods) (audience chuckles) (laughs) I mean, it sounds- it sounds like it’s a cliché or something but… the- the trends of the business and the trends of.. you know, um… stuff- When it rains, it pours. (nods) You know the.. saying? Um, I just want to keep busy. I want to keep working.

Um, ideally doing movies where I can kind of (nods) discern my own schedule. Um, you know, obviously, depends on what happens with the show, because (?who knows where the show has gone?). Um, beyond that I’d like to do some movies so I can spend time with.. my fiancé, who will then be my wife. And, (audience cheers) (nods) Yeah. (pats leg) (?)

Y’all better be nice to her (?if y’all are going to be around her soon?). ‘Cause I’ll find you. (smiles) (audience laughs)

Um, so, hopefully- hopefully doing movies and- and doing work that I’m excited about. You know? I mean, someone asked me one time what would I like to play and the answer’s every role. You know, I- There’s nothing specific I want to do. I wanna to just keep on.. (shrugs) telling stories to hopefully entertaining people.

So, this has been a- a real blessing (gestures to the audience) having people that are actually interested in the show. And, um, hopefully.. we keep on doing that. (nods)

Fan: Thank you.

Jared: Thank you. (smiles)

◘Jared in LA: Favorite, least favorite, and curse word by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:00 BBS)- LA08JP;Qd1a- Fav word

Jared: Alright.

Fan: What’s your favorite word?

Jared: E-you. (audience laughs) That’s not it. Um.. cookie. (laughs) (audience laughs) (lays photos down)

◘Supernatural Convention, LA 2008 by JensenLover89◘ (0:20-1:00)

•(0:12 BBS, 0:20 JL)- LA08JP;Qd1b- least fav word

Fan: Okay, and your least favorite word?

Jared: Uhh, no. (audience laugh)

•(0:16 BBS, 0:26 JL)- LA08JP;Qd1c- fav curse word

Fan: And my favorite question is- And Eric answered it, and was cursing like a sailor throughout the rest of the panel. What is your favorite curse word?

Jared: What’s my favorite curse word… (to the audience) If there are minors cover your ears. (audience argues with themselves if there are minors in the audience) I’d have to say… (clears his throat) Nah. (audience laughs) (to fan) Probably the one that starts with “S” and ends with “hit.” (audience laughs) (throws up a hand) Very expressive. (nods) Very expressive. And, um, descriptive. (looks up with a thoughtful expression)

Fan: Thank you.

Jared: Thank you. (turns to his right)

•(insomnia_geek •14, bardicvoice para. 10)- LA08JP;FR6- Pranks; 2x21, ACT FIVE, EXT. Ramshackle House; 2x22 , ACT ONE, Int. Abandoned House- Back Bedroom- That Night

“In AHBL, did he behave himself while playing dead? Yes, he restrained his joker impulses and really did his best to be dead to help Jensen to play the scene. It was hard to lay there and try not to move or breathe or anything, but it paid off. Jensen really went there in that monologue, and Jared could hear it and wanted to cry.” - IG

“A related question concerned whether Jared – well known to be a prankster – had pulled anything or had behaved himself during his death scene in All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 1 and while lying dead on the mattress in the beginning of All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2. After garnering laughs by proclaiming that he’d behaved himself in bed, he said in all seriousness that he had behaved himself both times, and just did the best he could to really look dead for Jensen, because he understood how hard doing those scenes would be for him. He said that the hardest thing for him in both of those scenes was not reacting to Jensen, because even though his eyes were closed and he couldn’t see Jensen, he could hear him, and it was clear that he was taking himself into a very dark and painful place. Jared couldn’t help him while the scenes were shooting, and didn’t want to make it any harder on him or make him stay there any longer than he had to, because he could hear how badly Jensen was hurting.” - B

◘Jared in LA: Favorite, least favorite, and curse word by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:00 BBS)- LA08JP;Qe- Pranks; 2x21, ACT FIVE, EXT. Ramshackle House; 2x22 , ACT ONE, Int. Abandoned House- Back Bedroom- That Night

Jared: Yeah.

Fan: And yeah. And Jensen was talking about how hard it was (?with it?). Did you behave yourself? (audience laughs)

Jared: I did. Yeah, that was one of the few times where I begrudgingly decided to behave myself. (audience chuckles) That was such an intense scene and Jensen really went there. And did a great job, this- the finale of last year. (audience cheers and claps)

(shrugs head) I mean.. I didn’t get to see what he was doing, but I did get to hear. And actually.. um, I mean, you’re- you’re really- It’s so hard to just hold your.. breath or trying- ‘Cause I wanted to- (shrug) I was really, like, trying to look dead for him. (audience laughs) I was like, “Look dead so he kind of pretend to himself that you are dead.”

Um, and he (nods) really went there. And he really committed and, um, knocked it out of the park, I think. So, I did behave myself. It was actually harder to not.. kind of tear up about what was going on, ‘cause I could hear him in a lot of pain. (audience aw’s) (nods) So, I did behave myself for him. That was the one time. (audience laughs) (claps) Thank you. (turns to his left)

•(insomnia_geek •15, bardicvoice para. 12-13)- LA08JP;FR7- 3x11; block shooting

“In filming Mystery Spot, their crew is amazingly efficient. They block shot the episode, which is really hard for an actor to do, as different scenes are lumped together. But Kim managed to get them through, and they managed to get in all done on budget and saved themselves a couple hours of extra film time otherwise.” - IG

“Jared added that something else made Mystery Spot particularly hard to shoot, and that was that they block-shot it. No television show or movie is ever shot in chronological scene order, because you always save money and time by grouping together the scenes that take place in a particular location or on a particular set, but you generally do shoot a complete scene at a time. Usually that involves beginning with a master shot, one that covers the whole scene and shows the characters in relation to each other and their surroundings, and then taking a short break while the lighting and camera crews reset in order to get detailed coverage on one of the actors. When the technical details are ready, the actors run the scene again, while the cameras focus on one character. Then it’s time to break again to set the lighting and cameras to cover a different actor in the scene. Depending on where the cameras are facing, that may also require moving the “video village” – the multiple-monitor setup that the director uses to see exactly what each camera is recording – to make certain that it won’t be in the shot. (Mary says, if you want a brilliant example of the “video village” winding up where it shouldn’t, watch the season two gag reel for the scene – I think it came from No Exit – where the boys, walking down a corridor, hear voices approaching and duck sideways into a doorway alcove for cover, only to have Jensen crack up in laughter realizing that the Steadicam tracking him is seeing the “video village” through the doorway beyond him!) After all that arranging, the scene is run again, this time recording the second actor. And so it goes, actor by actor, scene by scene.

Block shooting is different. In block shooting, to save even more time and money, the actors and crew keep the camera and lighting setup in one position and shoot each piece of each scene that requires that specific setup, changing the setup only when it is no longer needed. So for example, in Mystery Spot, there were multiple scenes when Sam woke up and sat up in bed. Instead of shooting each scene as a whole, they shot each of Sam’s wake-up moments one after the other. Then they would have changed the coverage, and shot each of Dean’s rocking-out-to-Asia moments one after the other. Another change, and each of the shared bathroom gargling and toothbrush scenes would run in sequence. Jared said that he was very grateful that director Kim Manners was able to keep track of precisely where in the story they were, and would always start the scene by filling the boys in on exactly where in the timeline they were for this umpteenth repetition of the scene. It didn’t matter that much to Jensen, because his challenge was keeping Dean as much the same from day to day as possible, but it was critical for Jared to be able to figure out where on the continuum of Sam’s growing desperation he was supposed to be, and it was a challenge because he had to ratchet things up appropriately for each repetition constituting a new version of the scene.” - B

◘Jared in LA: block shooting Mystery Spot by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:00 BBS)- LA08JP;Qf- 3x11; block shooting

Fan: -Start again or?

Jared: We, um- We block shot that. Which I don’t know- (to the audience) For those of you who aren’t familiar with block shooting. Usually when you shoot a scene, let’s say I’m talking to Dean, it’ll be, um, you know, a master establisher of some sort and then.. my coverage and closer, and he’s coverage and closer. Um, but since we had so many scenes in similar areas, like, on the bed, in the bathroom, in the dining room, (Fan: Yeah, (?we know that?).) We block shot it for interest of time, because if we would have gone, you know, “Scene 21 on him, scene 21 on me. Scene 23 on him, scene 23 on me. Scene 27 on him, scene 27 on me,” then it would’ve- it takes a long time, (?at like?)-

Our- our crew is.. amazingly efficient. And our cinematographer is fantastic and he’s very quick. That’s the only way we can make this show.. for any budget, because they’re very good at what they do. But just the logistics of having to move a bunch of light this way and move a bunch of light back that way. And, you know, clear out a video village over here, g- it would just have taken, in time alone, you know? (Fan: Right.) No one in the world could have done it faster than addin’ three or four hours to the day.

So, I think at the beginning of the day.. uh, Kim Manners probably came up and he was like, “Hey, you block shoot this, you’re out three hours earlier.” And we’re like (swipes his finger), “We’re block shooting!” (audience laughs)

Um, and it’s hard as an actor, because you have to, you know, you- it- you- you usually try to get into the mind set of the scene. Um, but Kim Manners who directed the episode, who we love obviously, gave us time between each scene and said, “Listen, this is what just happened. This is what you’re thinking. This is what’s about to happen.” And you kind of sit there with it and then you go. (nods) But, it was tough. It- (nods) Block shooting (Fan: (?).) is tough. (nods) I’m glad it turned out-

Fan: Thank you. But, you’re very great.

Jared: Thank you. (turns to his right)

•(insomnia_geek •16, bardicvoice para. 17, sarah_p para. 17, annkiri para. 5)- LA08JP;FR8- Fan Request; body swap portrayal

“f they did a bodyswap episode, how would he play Dean? Jared thought that would be interesting and fun, to play it like Face/Off. He'd make a lot of stupid faces, like Jensen does.” - IG

“Presented with the hypothetical of a body-swap episode in which Sam wound up in Dean and vice versa, and asked how he would play Dean in Sam’s body, Jared laughed, then said earnestly that he would study the more Dean-centric episodes to get Dean’s mannerisms down pat. And then he outright grinned and said, “And then I’d just make all kinds of stupid faces like Jensen does.” He faked a quick look around as if to ensure that Jensen wasn’t hiding out listening, and then nodded his head and said, “Yeah – lots of stupid faces.”” - B

“Someone asked Jared how he'd play Dean in a bodyswap episode, and he said he'd make a lot of stupid faces like Jensen does (and then demonstrated). THEN, he called back "Jensen? Jensen?", and when there was no answer, reaffirmed the making of stupid faces. (…)” - SP

“Someone brought up the bodyswap idea and asked if he thought it would be a cool thing to do and what he would do to prepare for such an episode. Jared said ht thought it would be a lot of fun and a challenge to play Dean and that he would probably re-watch a bunch of the more Dean=centric episodes to study him a bit and then make lots of funny faces like Jensen does. He then demonstrated these with totally goofy noises and faces. Then looked back like he was guilty and didn't want Jensen to have heard. He called out, "Jensen," then again to see if he was back behind the stage, and when Jensen didn't respond Jared turned back to the audience to say, "Yeah, lots of goofy faces." It was cute!” - A

◘Jared in LA: how would play Dean in a body swap episode? by BabyBlueSteel◘

•(0:00 BBS)- LA08JP;Qg1- Fan Request; body swap portrayal

Fan: How would you play Dean?

Jared looks down. The audience laughs. Jared looks up and smirks at the audience.

Jared: I think it’d be a lot of fun actually. Uh, I think there- I think there.. just might be. I-I- I certainly don’t know any secrets. And I certainly don’t.. uh, presume to say what.. Kripke (waves hand) will do. But, um, I think that would be an interesting thing, um.. to do.

◘Supernatural Convention, LA 2008 by JensenLover89◘ (1:07-1:54)

◘Jared on bodyswap at LA Supernatural Convention by IY◘

I think it’d be, uh, a lot of fun to play Jensen like a face off style episode. (audience chuckles) Um, I mean, I guess the closest we’ve done is him getting possessed, and me getting possessed, and having to play someone who’s not you’re character.

◘Jared Talking About a BodySwap w/Jensen by clockstopper◘

But that’d be a lot of fun. I think I’d go back and.. you know, study some of his scenes and study some of his episodes that were heavier Dean episodes. Like, uh, “Kids Are Alright.” Because we have episodes that are very Sam heavy, episodes that are very Dean heavy, and then kind of mixture episodes.

Um, so I’d probably have to go back and.. study some of his stuff. And then I’d just make a lot of stupid faces like he does, (?you know?). (audience laughs) Stuff like, (open his mouth, curls his tough over his bottom teeth, and then rolls his eye) “Bluh, bluh, bluh.” (audience laughs) That’s kind of like how he plays Dean. So, I was play it- (laughs and then grimaces and looks around behind)

Jensen! (looks back) Jensen! (Jensen doesn’t respond) (turns back to the fan) Yeah, (waves hand) yeah. Stupid faces. (audience laughs) (?Stupid face Dean?). (laughs)

Fan: Thank you.

Jared: Thank you. (turns to his right)

•(0:49 IY)- LA08JP;Qg2a- Getting into character; Sam

Fan: Hi Jared. I’m Emma. (Jared: Hi there.) Hi. Um, I actually have a question about getting into character with Sammy. (Jared: [nods] Okay.) Is there, like, a certain facet of Sammy’s character that.. like, helps you to grow as an actor that’s harder to portray on screen than other parts did or..?

Jared: (exhales) Uhm.. (shrugs) of course. I mean, you know, a- a- a lot of parts of Sammy. (audience giggles) It- It was very tough- It was very weird because I’ve.. done “Gilmore Girls” for five years (Fan: Yeah.) (audience woo) and so you’re really used to- (to audience member) Yeah, great show. (Fan: Yeah.) (audience giggles) (to fan) But, you get really used to playing that character. And so it’s really easy to just go, “Oh, yeah. I’m here.”

But then- then I think that their initial transition was what was most tough. But now that I’m sort of in theee.. (makes a circular gesture) in theeee.. machinery of playing Sam and, you know, doing it day in and day out, it’s pretty- it’s pretty easy to.. pop back into it. (Fan: Yeah.) But I obviously, under certain circumstances that occur in the show Supernatural. It’s really tough, i.e., you know, “Mystery Spot” or (Fan: Yeah.) you know, struggling about your possible demon heritage is never easy to go (fan laughs), “Oh, I can just (flips hair and looks up) pull from this.” You know? (Fan: Yeah) (audience laughs)

He's been trying to find- I don’t know who said it, but I think (shrugs) in “Inside the Actor Studio,” uh, one of the actors said- I think it was Johnny Depp, said that in order.. for you to want to play anything you have to be able to find the truth. And you have to be able to.. relate to it. Otherwise what you have, you know, you’re just (blows) playing make believe as oppose to making it real.

And so, that’s always tough trying to find the part of Jared’s history that’s.. scared of his anti-demon, um, (audience chuckles) (smiles and waves hand) whatever. Um- But, um, the whole- the whole show (nods) has been a big growing experience.

•(2:20 IY)- LA08JP;Qg2b- fav part of playing Sam

Fan: Yeah, and is there, like, a certain, like, side of Sammy that you like to play more? Like, Evil Sammy or (?Cringey?) Sammy or (?) (laughs)?

Jared: I love to play Sammy’s bad side (pats leg). (audience woos, cheers, and claps) I love- I love Sammy- (nods) Yeah. (smiles) Yeeah. Um, I love it because- because, uuum, it’s against his nature and that’s.. what’s fun to me. That’s what, like, De Niro said that when someone’s about to cry they never go, (gasps and wobbles his lips) “Huhwawa!” Like, they fight it. (audience chuckles) And so, I’m like seeing- I like seeing the.. juxtaposition. (Fan: Yeah.) Or, the you know, fighting against his nature. I love that. Plus, it was a lot of fun. “Born Under a Bad Sign” was a lot of fun to be bad and.. (Fan: It was a good episode. [laughs]) (?demonic?). Thank you. (claps and nods) (audience claps)

Fan: You’re (?welcome?).

•(insomnia_geek •18, bardicvoice para. 20, sarah_p para. 16)- LA08JP;FR9- Sam catchphrase

“There was one guy there who was actually taller than Jared, apparently 6'8". Jared called him "his tall brother." He asked if there was one line for Sam, what would it be? Jared said Sam should steal sonuvabitch and make it his own, "Dean my ass!" Or maybe that should be it -- "Dean my ass!"” - IG

“Asked what line he’d most like to deliver, he used a Dean trademark without hesitation: “Son of a bitch!” He laughed that he’d like to follow that one up with, “Dean, my ass!”” - B

“(…) The REAL question that has all of the fangirls buzzing is probably the one (that one of the lone guys there asked) about what line Jared wants Sam to say. He said "son of a bitch!" at first, so he could make it his own. And then he goes, "Dean, my ass!" afterwards, obviously because Dean is the one who gets to say that all of the time. Then he was like, "maybe that should be more like "Dean! My ass!" (HAHAHAHA), and everyone freaked out, and he shook his head and just KNEW that was the wrong thing to say. HA! :D” - SP

◘Jared in LA: What genre would he like to do? by BabyBlueSteel◘

The audience laughs, cheers, and claps.

Jared: I just got myself turned around. (grimaces) (audience laughs) (?pretty much?) (laughs and turns to his left) (audience laughs)

•(0:08 BBS)- LA08JP;Qh1a- Horror Roles; Preferred Role; work/family balance

Fan: Hi, I’m (Jared: Hi.) Samantha.

Jared: Hi, Smantha. (Fan: Um-) I’m Sam. (audience laughs)

Fan: Um, so you’ve done a lot of- You did, uh, “House of Wax” and I think (Jared: I did.) you just (audience woo) been signed for “Friday the 13th”?

Jared: (pats leg and nods) I have. (audience cheers and claps) (claps)

Fan: (?You’ve been sticking-?) (?) Um, and so you’ve been sticking with the horror genre or that’s was what’s being- was being- what’s offered right now, or? And, if you could do any sort of genre what would you do?

Jared: Both. Um, those are a lot of questions. The first one, (audience laughs) was I think was- What was the first part of th-that question? (audience laughs) The first question, is there a reason, I guess, I’m airing to horror and is it a choice or as a.. sort of that’s what’s.. being.. thrown my way. And it’s a combination of both.

And almost referring to the earlier question of what would you like to be doing. I mean, I could sit up here all day and talk about, “I loved to do- doing some radio. Then I’d love to do- go hunting. Then I’d-” and, you know, talk about.. these.. great movies and classic movies that, “Oh, it’d be so fun to do this. Or a comedy or blah, blah, blah.”

But, um, the industry goes on certain trends and I am a huge fan of the Horror genre. I love scary movies. I love scary TV shows. I lov- I love kind of getting scared. It- (gestures) There’s something about watching a scary movie or a scary show that gets you out of your world.. beyond anything else.

You know, I can sit there and watch.. “Friends” or something and still be there thinking about, “I gotta do laundry.” (audience chuckles) But if I’m sitting there a little scared (shrinks in) if someone is in the house and everything, (gestures to his head) it takes over your brain. And I love being transported to another world.

Um, so I’m fan of the genre. Plus, that happened to work out perfectly. You know, I- I got to- I get to film in Austin where my sister graduates (pats leg) this year, where I’m close to my family in San Antonio. I’m close to my brother in Dallas. He’s having a kid. So, it just- it seemed to work out, uhhh, perfectly.

Um, I think there was another thing?

•(1:46 BBS)- LA08JP;Qh1b- Future Projects; genre of choice

Fan: Um, what genre would you like to do in the future?

Jared: Oh, um… You know what?.. I think I- I’d like to do- I’d like to do a drama (nods) -a drama, drama. Um, maybe a war movie. And obviously a Western. (audience chuckles, cheers, then claps) (?It’s?), like, five genres or something. All genres. I guess, if I could have a choice I’d love to do a Western right now. (nods) Thank you. (claps) (audience claps) Thank you. (audience cheers) (turns to his right)

•(insomnia_geek •20, bardicvoice para. 25, sarah_p para. 18)- LA08JP;FR10- Time between takes

“What does he do in his spare time? Since Harley had knee surgery and is staying with Sandy, Jared has Sadie up on set with him and plays with her to keep her from chewing the place up. He relaxes, calls Sandy, but can't totally break out of the character in between scenes. It's not like he can hold Dean's body, then be like, "Hey, let's go chase butterflies!" The mike was cutting out around here, so he tried yelling briefly before a tech ran out with another mike.” - IG

“Asked about his dogs, Jared said that he has Sadie with him on set, but that Harley is staying with Sandy at the moment, which occasioned yet another “awwww.”” - B

“He also talked about his dogs, which was adorable, and I think that this was the answer where he said it's hard for him to get out of character between scenes, and it wasn't like he could look at Dean's body, and after cut was called, be all "hey, let's go chase butterflies!" Which CRACKED ME UP.” - SP

•(insomnia_geek para. 6, bardicvoice para. 27, sarah_p para. 19-20, annkiri para. 13)- LA08JP;FR11- Closing

“Then Jensen walked out with "What a bunch of crap!" and it was his turn for the panel. Jared left, but as Jensen was settling in Jared made a farting noise offstage into the mike, and Jensen played it. (...)” - IG

“Jensen announced his presence with a “Son of a bitch!” through the mike, and after a little teasing, Jared yielded the stage.” - B

“As in the clips from Chicago, one of the funniest parts was the exchange of panel time between Jared and Jensen. Jared was talking, and Jensen walked about and said "what a bunch of crap!" Then Jared left (…). Oh, and! I almost forgot! Jared GAVE Jensen the pictures that the girl had given him during the Q&A, and Jensen was making comments on them ("I look huge in that!" on the blown up one, and then something like "that's it" on the other one). LMAO!” - SP

“Then Jensen came out at the end of one of Jared's more lofty answers about acting, saying, "That's all a load of bull." And Jared left, promising to be back in a bit (…)” - A

◘Jensen in LA: favorite episode by BabyBlueSteel◘ (0:00-0:33)

◘Jensen's entrance in LA Supernatural Con Q&A by IY◘ (0:00-0:28)

•(0:00 BBS, 0:00 IY)- LA08JP;T1- closing

Jensen walks further on stage towards where Jared is sitting. The audience is screaming. Jared is smiling.

Jared: -(?sounds bullshit?) (?)

Jensen: No won- No wonder why your mic’s going off.

Jared: (picks up the pictures from earlier) I stole it. No wonder my mic’s going out. Here’s, uh- Here’s the pictures for you. (audience screams and woos) (hands over the photos to Jensen)

Jensen: Oh goodie. What do we have here? (Jared: (?na-uh?).) (looks at the photos) Well, I look huge in that one.

Jared: (stands) Yeah, (?yeah, yeah?). (audience laughs) (to the audience) I’m gonna pass the mic over tah.. Dean.

Jensen: I look fantastic in that one.

Jared: (swipes towards Jensen) Dean, my ass! (goes behind and looks over Jensen’s shoulder, says something, then passes) See you (?in thirty?). Thank you, guys. (?I love you?) (waves his water bottle in the air, then walks off stage and behind the back curtains) (audience cheers and claps)

-end of panel-

#spn #supernatural #jared padalecki #spn con #spn transcript #lacon 2008 #2008

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walkingstackofbooks · 2 years ago

Text

DS9 1x18 Dramatis Personae: Even More Feelings about Julian being Genetically Enhanced in S1

To recap 1x18: a telepathic infection sweeps through the station, forcing everyone to re-enact an alien mutiny and creating Bajoran vs Federation hostilities on the station. Apart from Odo, all those in Ops are affected and have their personality change to different degrees.

And I'm pretty sure the changes in Julian were such that he'd be just a little uncomfortable afterwards.

1. He develops a spy-like caginess; hedging his bets, acting undercover and behind-the-scenes rather than declaring a side.

With his real-life love of espionage, this might feel like his altered personality wasn't actually that far off. At this point, he fancies that he could do okay as a spy, and so he might mistake the fact that he was quite effective at meddling in the political intrigue without getting caught for it being a genuine skill he has. Which would make all the other changes to his personality seem more real.

2a. He becomes uncaring in medical matters. His attitude to Odo is very cavalier (in subsequent episodes, even if he doesn't know what's going on, he tries some explanation and at least prescribes rest). He jokes when Odo asks him about the autopsy - "The Klingon, Doctor, what did you find?" "He's still dead, if that's what you mean."

Julian's bedside manner is often joked about to not be the greatest, and he is sometimes a little brusque - but usually he is always shown to care for his patients. Realising that he treated people without actually caring about them presumably would feel quite upsetting.

2b. He provides a poison for Sisko.

This goes against all his values, and shows he has the knowledge and ability to inflict great harm should he want to.

3. He is still a very good researcher, he easily works out what was going on when Odo gave him the bigger picture.

This is another point that brings his altered state closer to home; at some points he doesn't seem like a different Julian, so was he really that changed by the energy matrix, if this aspect of him wasn't?

4. He lies almost effortlessly to Odo. While he's clearly dodgy to us, it is a very smooth lie compared to his normal stuttering

We know he is a good liar, and managed to keep his enhancements a secret for 15 years. But outside of hiding his augmented status, he does not seem to be able to lie quickly or easily. We don't know if that is an act, or if he's genuinely only good at one lie - but I get the feeling he doesn't like to lie, either way. The fact that he can lie in his altered state may feel like his "monstrous" augmented self was more in control.

5. He has an air of "I know what's going on and can advise you what to do".

Presumably, he is using his intelligence and memory to gather information from his patients and around the station, and he acts as if his knowledge is making him superior to Odo. This contrasts with his belief that his genetically-enhanced intelligence makes him a fraud; and the fact that he was able to feel superior, as the augments like Khan did, would be pretty frightening to him.

6. He is power hungry: his eyes light up when Odo says "Your findings could determine who controls this station", he is excited by the plan to gain dominance .

This is probably the most unsettling - again, the links to Khan, the fact that he was an augmented human trying to seize power would be quite distressing.

7. Odo explained that everyone in ops was affected apart from himself, due to his non-humanoid brain. Julian queries this, but is fairly quick to accept that he, along with Odo, hadn't been affected.

In his altered state, I think that this explanation made sense to him because he believes his genetic enhancements make him superior to other humans - he wasn't affected like them, because he is better. And there might be some part of the non-altered Julian in there, who believes that because he's an augment, he simply isn't human.

In summary, I think that the experiences he has in this episode would shake Julian, as it brought him closer to being a Khan-like augment than he ever had been before. It would have demonstrated beyond a doubt that he has the capability to be a villain, and possibly confirmed his suspicions that his enhancements make him a monster. It would make him sick to know that he felt superior to his crewmates, that he was striving for control, that he tried to kill Sisko - and I'm sure that the others on the station are similarly appalled by their controlled actions. But I think Julian would be less convinced than the rest of the crew that his actions were wholly driven by the energy matrix, since what he did aligns so well with the actions committed by historical augments. He could easily worry that due to his "non-human" brain, the energy matric didn't completely take control, and his own augmented corruption had, at least partially, managed to take hold during these events.

#julian bashir #augment julian bashir #genetically enhanced julian bashir #trek musings #i've been sat on this for a while without being able to word it #and i still don't think i've managed the best #i think this would be better in a fic so the feels can come out more #but that's not something i can create 😅#my trek musings #WSB

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milkywaydrinker · 2 years ago

Note

(Again, don't hesitate to tell me to stop if it's annoying you; I can always make my own sideblog to rant if I really need to.)

Your point on OK KO compared to Amphibia reminds me... I've never liked the claim that if TOH season 3 had more episodes, people would complain about the earth segment as much as they did Amphibia's. Because there's a very clear difference between the two.

For starters, despite its shortening TOH actually made room to acknowledge the emotional fallout of season 2. We got to see Luz struggle and cope, we saw how the other kids missed their families, there was still moments of legitimate seriousness and acknowledgement for what happened. Luz's repression was treated as an actual problem, and not a convenient excuse for the writers.

I think people would be way less critical of Amphibia 3A's slice of life aspects if it managed to at least acknowledge the darker parts. Before 3A, I absolutely expected the show to go back to some goofy antics because that's just how Amphibia works, and the season 3 intro made that clear; But I expected for the writers to at least transition us into that tonal shift, by giving us an episode for the characters to cope and reflect before they have fun fillers as a much-needed break.

The problem with Amphibia is that there is no transition; 3A picks up mere seconds after True Colors, and the tone has notably been shifted to something jarringly casual without any explanation for that change. There's a joke where Anne shows more emotion towards wi-fi than her closest childhood friend getting stabbed. And in spite of everyone insisting 3B would deliver on the much-needed angst and acknowledgement, Anne magically forgives Sasha for no reason, and continues to show no lack of concern for Marcy (in addition to 3B continuing the goofy antics until the last minute... We did NOT need Sprivy, nor for the lore episode about the prophecy to be taken up by a gross-out sequence).

If TOH's earth segment wasn't compressed, it's clear that we still would've gotten acknowledgement for the characters' trauma and some slice of life. Amphibia has a full third season and can only do the latter. Plus, your point on Ronaldo from SU brings up another difference;

People actually like Luz's friends. People are actually interested in seeing them interact, seeing them adjust to and explore the human world. The human world was a formative experience for Luz and essentially her backstory, whereas with Anne, it's mostly Sasha and Marcy, who are back in Amphibia. Luz's friends are side characters and yet are treated with so much more emotional depth, consistency, and weight than the Plantars; They're much more dynamic.

After the successive trauma of 2B, seeing these kids decompress actually feels earned; People wanted to explore their interactions with each other, various storylines! Luz and Vee being sisters, Hunter getting to be an actual kid after having been a child soldier all his life... Gus' reaction to the human world, given it's such a big deal to his character, or Amity and Willow rebuilding their friendship! The writers would've given us Vee and Hunter acknowledging their tense connection over the Emperor's Coven, that much was confirmed!

We actually wanted and needed to see these kids explore this new situation. But with the Plantars, we've already had two whole seasons of them doing the same old goofy antics, nobody really cared or was hyped up to see their reaction to the human world. At best there was their interactions with Anne's parents, but that part is brief compared to the rest of 3A. We didn't need to see the Plantars go back to being silly, we needed to see them be treated seriously too! And Anne, for that matter. Coming from someone who actually put in the effort to try and analyze and engage with the Plantars and appreciate them, it feels like the writers neglect fleshing them out as well.

TOH's slice-of-life feels earned and with characters people actually want to explore in different situations and interactions. With Amphibia, we finally began to delve into something more serious, only to immediately back out without any narrative nor in-universe transition to this casual tone. The fallacy that "People would also complain about filler if TOH's season 3 wasn't shortened" is always from Amphibia fans who are trying to defend 3A, and are disgruntled seeing their show compared to TOH, acting like it's a mystery TOH is preferred.

I do have some thoughts on this.

I pretty much agree with what you said. Allow me to go on a little tangent:

With how plot-focused most stories need to be right now due to the shifting format of distribution (the binge model and the generally shortened attention span of an average fandom) many people began treating SoL episodes as filler.

Now, what is filler really? I'm an old-school weeb, so that word always had only one meaning. A non-canon arc, something straying from the source material because the adaptation caught up.

In the context of something like Amphibia, Steven Universe, or TOH, it would mean an episode that has no bearing on the plot, something you can skip with no consequences to your understanding of the main storyline. By that logic not all SoL episodes are filler, in fact, if they lead to persistent character development, they can be more important to the story than anything else in the show.

The difference between TOH and Amphibia is mostly the quality of character writing. I joked with my friends that if TOH had a full s3 I would gladly watch a Hooty lore episode. I hard agree with the sentiment that TOH SoL episodes would land. They would allow for better pacing, we would get a proper set up for hard hitting emotional moments, a whole episode of lead up to Hunter getting a haircut, loaded with symbolism and his identity crisis. There's a lot to dig into with those characters because they have enough dimension to them to allow every single one to carry an episode if so desired.

With Anne and the Plantars, there's a very limited amount of things you can reasonably do before it gets old. To prevent it, they would actually have to make character development stick. They would have to build upon the lessons learned from previous episodes, they would have to write characters that Think and Grow. There are moments that show some of that, a genuine flash of something really good. There aren't many of them in s3 though. Static characters can work, many sitcoms have a cast of completely static characters that never really substantially grow or change. At some point you need to bite the bullet though, either you have a plot that hinges on substantial character development of your main cast, or you have a silly goofy "put the guys in a situation" show.

I've heard that Disney in fact meddled with the writing of s3. They had to lighten the tone, which is ridiculous when stuff like The Core still happened with a literal electric chair scene. The tonal whiplash is so severe many people expressed feeling as if they were watching two completely different shows. It's a fatal flaw that left neither side of the fandom satisfied.

Some shows feel like you could watch 10 more seasons of the same thing. I would watch endless spinoffs of TOH. I would watch more Adventure Time and I will watch Fiona and Cake spinoff.

I've had quite enough of Amphibia.

#rant #ask #also don't worry about the asks i wouldn't respond to you with my own 500 words essays if i wasn't interested

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yrcanisrunsfromzombies · 2 years ago

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Hi All! I’m back! Older and wiser!

It’s been 10 years since I’ve written on this thing and believe you me, my fitness journey has been that: A Journey. If you haven’t been with me for 10 years ago…welcome to my fitness blog!

So many ups and downs in not just my weight, but my emotions. 10 years ago, I was 24 living at home in New Jersey working in New York. Now I’m 34 living in Los Angeles. I moved out here 6.5 years ago to work as a makeup artist on set and it’s been a blessing and a struggle. I’ve grown a lot in 10 years as one should. Although I have worked on fitness sets, short films and clients, I’ve tried to balance these things with self-care (fitness & rest) and work always won… with 3 jobs then and now… it’s been exhausting. Let’s catch up friends.

When it comes to fitness, I’ve had a friend who said, ‘ if you are not working out, you are not happy.’ And even though he only knew me for a short time, he was absolutely correct. I lost sight of that in the hustle of the first 2 years here in LA. I’ve done little things I used to do in my 20s, like pole dancing and going to the gym (I had no idea what I was doing and…) finances ultimately were a struggle. However, I’m proud of the process and progress. I went from sharing a studio, to sharing a one bedroom, to having my own room in a 2bd 1b, to my own room and bathroom in a 2 bd 2b, to ultimately having my own studio with my own little fur baby, Emilio.

The first 2 years were hard and my weight increased and health declined. I ate terribly, was depressed (it still comes in waves), stressed and exhausted. It was 2018, I weighed the most I’ve ever weighed at the time (148 lbs!) AND I was turning 30. I realized I had to make a change when I tried on my bridesmaid’s dress for my sister’s wedding and the chronic splitting of jeans (2 to be exact)😂. It had to be drastic and an investment. My friend, Dana, recommended a gym. When I went in for a trial, I didn’t realize it was a CrossFit gym… oh boy. My goal: fit in the bridesmaid dress and not have my chichos (Dominican for fat rolls) show in my dress.

I began March 2018 and the wedding was in November 2018. So I had 7 months to fit into the dress, totally doable. I made little rules for myself. Go to the 30 min class early in the am before work 3 times a week. Drink your protein shake, swap out things in your diet like whole grain instead of bread, no cheese, meal prep veggie burger/sandwiches. I lost 10-11 lbs by July! I didn’t try the dress on until then and it fit almost perfectly! I began to plateau at 137 lbs and my coach, graduated me to the weightlifting class. He also recommend I do the fitness/diet challenge October 2018. The wedding was one month away! I will be the first to admit, I wasn’t the healthiest in those 5-6 weeks. I lost 8 lbs the first week (detox week) was almost at a faint until they said I can eat goat cheese. Goat cheese to me was what spinach is to Popeye. I regained energy. I skipped meals, drank a lot water, worked out 3 days a week… did all the things (I don’t recommend all of it). I fit in my dress for my sisters wedding and weighed 127lbs!(Really wish I took photos of my progress, but I was embarrassed, however in the pics below I can see a difference in 5 months)

May 2018

Nov 2018 (wedding)

Fitness, career and private life was on the up and up. When you feel good, your good energy becomes contagious. I met a boy on the plane to the wedding (I know a disgustingly cute meet-cute)and we dated for a year and a 2 months. During that time, I kinda strayed away from being consistent, went on birth control and ate terribly. I gain all the weight back and then some to 152lbs! This was my most heavy. I broke up with him, feeling sad and feeling like I lost myself in the relationship. I wasn’t happy and it was mostly me. I can admit that. The first week we broke up, I lost 8 lbs. I was angry running and angry boxing because I was sad and mad. Understandably.

Shortly after, I began to date a boy from CrossFit. Finally, someone who had things in common fitness-wise. We can do this together! The pandemic happened a month after dating and we did fitness things together: hiking and running. I fit in writing, painting, dieting and keeping a consistent little workout routine with fitness apps that came out at the time. I got down to 142 lbs. Ultimately, the pandemic emotionally brought us down and after dating for a year and 2 months, I called it quits. We weren’t growing in love and happiness. It was hard. Was the pandemic a factor? A small one. Before we broke up in April 2021, we signed up to do a Spartan Race together in October. We remained friends so we can do it together. He also had to make me sign up because I combated making the point that I always hurt myself doing obstacle 5Ks. None the less, I signed up and vowed to get to work.

That single summer before turning 33, I hiked, ran 5K sand did some weight lifting. I didn’t know exactly how to train for a Spartan Race. So when we did do the race in Big Bear, CA, I fell off the monkey bars hurting my right shoulder and the ground fracturing my right scapula! I was not prepared at all, however, I finished the race in pain without completing the obstacles. It was the next day when I went to urgentcare where I found out I fractured this big ass bone.

So that was October 2021, I told myself once I heal and I get the green light from my doctor. I’m going to be stronger than I ever was! At this time, I began working Front Desk at a spa, couldn’t freelance doing makeup with a broken wing. Luckily, they were caring and understanding. Massages and spa amenities were a big part in my recovery!

If you’ve stayed with me this far, I salut you and I’m almost caught up. Promise!

I worked so hard in 2022 to build the strength back in my shoulder and in my legs. I ran the fasted 5K in May 2022 (28 mins) then shifted my focus to weight lifting. The rules for my successful consistency will written on a different post as I plan to be more consistent than my younger self!😝

My goal was to build strength and get back on the mountain to snowboard. I hadn’t done it since before I moved to LA. Again, finances were a part of the delay. The hard work paid off when I got to go in January 2023! Such a great time, I didn’t hurt myself and my legs did have the stamina! I’m was so proud and happy. I finally felt like myself!

We are almost all caught up, but I will stop here. I’m writing this because fitness and health is truly an up and down journey especially for the working class. Some people don’t make self care and fitness a priority for them due to becoming parents, focusing on careers and not being able to financial invest in it. Because this is important to me I wanted to share, and clearly, a lot has happened.

I will post my workouts, my progress and my tips. I’m clearly not an expert, except an expert on struggling with consistency. I’m sure you on some level can relate.

I haven’t updated you from Jan 2023 until now (May 2023)… something big happened to me that caused me to reanimated this journey. I just wanted to use this post as a starting point and hopefully you all enjoyed it!

Keep your head up, darlings! Talk to you soon😘

#fitness #running #zombies #exercise #5k training #weights #weightlifting #motivation #motivating myself #motivating others #poledance #pole dacing #movement #dancing #snowboarders #snowboarding

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pookha · 2 years ago

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Changes on the Wind Chapter 3

After a very long delay, here's the last chapter of Changes on the Wind. I'm sorry this took so very long to finish. It became wildly wildly AU after season 2B and then even more AU after season 3. I'm sticking with Masha being Gigi here and using she/her pronouns because it was started that way before the reveal about them in TtT, but I love ENBY Masha and my series "No Tengo las Llaves" explores that.

Thank you to all of you who stuck with it and finished this.

Vee has to get used to living with hyperesthesia and synesthesia. Gigi goes off to school, then veterinary school. Vee struggles with how to contribute when it's hard to leave her home. She meets Mildred Featherwhyle, who is not what she seems and together they forge a path for Vee.

3 Months Later

Vee looked up from her tablet as an orange light blinked on the wall. She pulled her phone out of a drawer and flicked the screen open. The blue and gold painted nail on her index finger made a ‘whee’ sound in her head when she did this and it always made her smile. She saw it was Gigi and answered.

“Hey,” she said and put the phone on speaker while she turned back to her tablet. On it a cartoon knight struggled to pull his sword out of a gelatinous-looking wall while a zombie deer snuck up on him from behind.

“Hey,” Gigi’s voice came out tinnily. It had taken Vee a bit to find the right way to manipulate her phone to make people’s voices bearable, but Gigi’s was the best of the batch, followed by Camila’s. Gigi’s modulated voice made Vee tingle and Camila’s felt like a warm towel fresh out of the dryer.

“Want some company later after school? It’s only a half-day today, so I can come over before work.”

“Ooo, that would be great,” Vee said, adding a bright splotch of gore onto the zombie deer’s antlers then erasing it.

“I’ll take the bus and be there around 1ish.”

“Mom’s coming home for lunch today; I’ll ask her if she can pick you up at school at noon instead.” Vee texted Camila who responded with a thumbs-up emoji.

“She says yes.” Vee added a drape of intestines to the deer antler and erased it also.

“What are you doing?” Gigi asked

“I’m drawing a knight fighting a gelatinous cube, but he doesn’t know a zombie deer is sneaking up on him, but I’m having trouble with making the deer creepy in the right way. I tried to put some gore on it and some intestines on its horns, but it’s just not right.”

“Make the deer look more rotted, maybe have the intestine hang from its belly instead like it’s been rotting and is dehiscing,” Gigi suggested.

Vee undid the intestines over the antlers, then moved them to the deer’s belly and squinted. It was almost right, but would need refining and different colors. Right now it was shouting and it needed to grumble menacingly instead.

“Thanks, I think I can make that work.”

“Cool. Glad I could help. I gotta go back to class.” Gigi paused.

“Love you,” she said quietly. This was fairly new to both of them and it still made Vee’s blood fizz like she was taking magic from Gigi still.

“Love you, too. See you later.” Gigi hung up. Vee put her phone back in the drawer and looked up at the wall over her bed. The bright yellow of the walls tinkled lightly and the black trim mumbled gently. It was restful and peaceful. Gus had done a good job helping them choose colors with his illusions and he had held them on the wall until they could match it with paint. Of all of Luz’s friends from the Demon Realm, he was the one that Vee understood best. It was a shame that Luz had gone back and closed the portal. They still got occasional texts from her as they came near a weak spot and closed it, but they were already getting further apart.

Vee stroked the tablet and enjoyed the cool smoothness of it. She looked critically at the drawing and thought it was fine , just fine so far. She’d started drawing immediately after she woke up from her coma. She’d been out for two full days and then had to put up with all the visits to the doctors. If one of the doctors at the University hadn’t wanted to do research on her (it had taken a lot to explain that he didn’t want to experiment on her like Belos had wanted to) then Camila would have had a hard time paying for it all. She’d been diagnosed with hyperesthesia and synesthesia. The hyperesthesia was hard, but at least it was controlled with medication. The synesthesia, though, had awakened an urge to draw in her. She picked it up fast and Camila had let her enroll in online art courses as long as she kept up her remote homeschooling. She sighed and opened her math homework and slogged away at it. She was saving the Spanish homework for last as a reward to herself.

She’d just started on her American Government classwork when she saw the light on the wall flash again. She pulled her phone back out of the drawer and saw a text from Gigi.

Yr mom wants to know if White Castle is okay.

Vee texted back.

Yum sliders…no cheese on mine of course, big enough fries to share with all of us. Half-orange soda, half-sprite, pls

Ugh, how can you drink that. Kidding. Will get for you. See you in about 15 mins. Mwah.

Mwah

Vee set a timer on her phone and did a little bit more classwork, then when the timer went off, she went down and put plates on the table. Camila came in a few minutes later with bags of food and Gigi was right behind her with a drink tray.

Vee gave Gigi a big hug before she could sit down and she almost dropped the drink tray. They all ate while talking about their day. Vee wished she could be at school with Gigi, but the noise from the beige walls and the olive-drab lockers was just too much: the constant mumbling of the beige was awful. She also was so far behind after having been left back a grade and then missing summer school.

“What?” she asked, obviously having missed something that Camila said.

“I said that I could get used to having lunch at home with your girlfriend. Although, I don’t think we could have hamburgers every day.” She pointed at her stomach.

“Yeah, I miss you when you’re at work and Gigi’s at school. It’s hard to be on my own so much. The online classes help, but it’s not the same as being there.” Vee sighed.

“It won’t be like this forever; you’ll be able to reintegrate soon.” Camila put her burger and onion-smelling hand on Vee’s head and rubbed her hair. Vee followed her eyes and knew that she was thinking that Vee looked like Luz and that she missed Luz.

“Yeah, high school will be over before you know it,” Gigi said, squeezing Vee’s hand.

Two Years After

High school was over for Gigi. Vee couldn’t believe it; she still had one more year. She’d made up her lost year, but Luz had been one year behind Gigi and when Vee had taken over her life she was also a year back.

“When do you leave for U of C?” Vee asked, lounging on the microsuede beanbag in the corner of Gigi’s room. Vee loved the black paint on Gigi’s walls and the bright RGB lights of her gaming desktop.

“Last week of August. I’ve got one week of freshman orientation and then classes start after that. She flopped down onto the beanbag next to Vee and kissed her. The kiss went on for a long time until Gigi fell off the beanbag and they both laughed. Vee helped Gigi back up and pulled her more onto her lap. This time the kissing got heated before Gigi pulled back.

“Mom’ll be home soon, sorry.”

Vee mock pouted and laughed.

“I gotcha.” She pushed Gigi off the beanbag and she laughed as Gigi picked herself up.

“Seriously, though, do you wanna before I go away or…?” Gigi left it hanging.

Vee stood up, pulled Gigi close and whispered in her ear.

“I’d like to try, but I don’t know if I can go through with it. If I have to stop, you won’t be upset?”

Gigi shook her head.

“Mom’s at a conference next week and you can stay over. We’ll try then.” Vee kissed Gigi soundly and reveled again in the tingle of Gigi’s lips on hers.

A week later, Gigi slept in Vee’s bed, a large sleep shirt covering all but her legs. Vee watched her sleep, enjoying the soft susurrus of her steady breathing. It had been more than she was expecting and less. Mostly it hadn’t been different than making out and the feelings had been just as exciting, but also some of the burning touches did just that… burned. She knew that she’d want to do it again, but worried about when Gigi went to school. She put her hand on Gigi’s thigh and Gigi sighed in her sleep.

Three Years After

When Camila came home Vee was sitting on the couch watching television. Vee let the bright images dance around in her eyes, but wasn’t really paying attention to what was showing. She turned her head as Camila came in and gave her a kiss on top of her head.

“Good day, Vee?” Camila asked and Vee shook her head. Camila put her purse and jacket in the closet and came back to sit by Vee on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as Vee leaned on her shoulder and tears started to leak from her eyes.

“I want to pull my weight, but what I’m making from my commissions barely pays for my food. I’m sorry to be a burden.” She lifted her head and met Camila’s eyes. Camila wiped a tear from Vee’s cheek with the back of her hand.

“You pull your weight; you contribute.”

“I don’t, though. I eat, sleep, barely go out and my medications have to put a hole in your pocket, even with insurance. I don’t know what to do,” she wailed.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll take care of you for as long as you need. I love you, Vee.”

“I know you do and I know it’s not just because I look like Luz.” Luz’s texts from the Demon Realm had gotten even more rare as they closed more holes between the realms. The last one had included a photo of matching engagement rings and Amity looked especially happy.

“No, I love you for you. I wish the ritual had gone better, but what happened made you you. You see colors and shapes differently than anyone else and I know that one day your art will be sold at auction for a lot of money.”

“C’mon, I don’t make that kind of art.” Her original pieces were body horror mostly, and her commissions were mostly portraits of role playing characters.

“That’s what they said about what’s his name that did the Alien stuff.” Camila patted Vee again.

“Giger?” Vee half-asked.

“Yeah, that was his name.”

Camila stood.

“Wanna help with dinner?”

Vee nodded, wiped her face with her sleeve, stood and hugged Camila and they both went to make dinner.

Three Years Later

I was accepted

Vee read the text again and again. She’d known this was coming, but it meant she’d be away from Gigi even longer while Gigi went to veterinary school and then a one year internship with a clinic. She closed her eyes in thought, rested like that for a few minutes then opened them. She turned on her full-spectrum lights and looked down at the illustration on her tablet: the Cthulhoid horror on it had a princess in its tentacles, but it didn’t see the dagger she held behind her back. The princesses grim smile said she knew that she’d had to get into the horror’s grasp to kill it and she’d do what was necessary.

Vee’s phone buzzed and she jumped. She’d forgotten to put it in its drawer and the sound of it made her skin crawl. She sighed and looked at it, expecting another text from Gigi, but this was an email notification. She sighed again, and dithered with her finger over her phone before finally opening it and then opening her email. She didn’t recognize the email address, so she opened it in protected mode. She read it, then she read it again and again, trying to decide if it was legitimate. She looked up the company it came from, then the person it came from, then reviews from artists who’d worked with them. Finally, she closed her email, turned off her tablet, turned off her full-spectrum lights and sat in the dark in her room. She stayed that way for almost an hour before she texted Gigi.

I’m happy for you, but also sad that you’ll be gone longer. I got an offer to illustrate Wizard Warrior cards for Wizards of Seattle! I looked it up and it looks legit. They say they saw some of my work when one of their programmers for their digital cards saw a commission of mine and then they looked me up.

Gigi texted back right away.

That’s great! I’m sorry I’ll be away longer, but I will have 3 weeks after I graduate and before I go to vet school and I look forward to spending them with you.

I love you, Vee and I want to spend my life with you.

Vee smiled. They’d been basically engaged for a year, but Gigi wanted to finish school. She was driven and Mom had been there and been encouraging about Gigi going to vet school. She had told Gigi she’d always have a summer job and a place in her clinic when she was graduated.

Thinking of Mom made Vee text her about her offer. Camila texted back that she’d have her lawyer look over the Wizards of Seattle contract that was attached to the email.

Five Years Later

Vee opened the video call. Her agent was dimly backlit; he knew about Vee’s sensory issues.

“Hey! Good news, bad news!” he said exuberantly like always.

“Bad first,” Vee said.

“Wizards of Seattle didn’t offer you any contracts for the upcoming set.”

Vee grimaced. She’d been expecting it since they switched art directors there, but it still stung. The pay was a big part of why Camila had been able to take less hours at the clinic and be more of a supervisory vet.

“Okay, not unexpected. How about the good news.”

“Tripleday Publishing wants you to meet with one of their authors to discuss illustrating graphic novels based on their work and if they like it to make a new animated series on it.”

Vee raised an eyebrow. The graphic novel probably wouldn’t make up for the loss of the Wizards of Seattle income, but an animated series probably would.

“What’s the series?” Vee asked.

“They actually won’t say. I think they’re afraid of leaks, but I’ve been asking around and I think it’s a reboot of the Good Witch Azura by Mildred Featherwhyle.”

Vee sat back heavily and almost fell off her chair.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” she whispered.

“I think it’s going to be the Good Witch Azura series. Rumor has it that Mildred Featherwhyle has finished a darker, updated reboot and that she’s signed a movie or television deal.”

“How would she have heard about me?” Vee asked.

“I’m guessing from the illustrations for the body horror anthology that Tripleday published last year.”

“Wow.” Vee thought about how Luz would react to find out that Vee might work on the Good Witch Azura.

“If it is the Good Witch Azura, I want it. I want it badly. I’ll fly to a meeting if I have to.”

Her agent blinked. She’d never offered to leave Connecticut before.

“I’ll get back to you by the end of work tomorrow.”

Vee nodded. The rest of the call was about residuals, which were smaller than Vee had hoped.

It was only an hour later when her agent texted her a meeting link for 10 a.m. the next day. Vee didn’t tell Camila about it so she wouldn’t be disappointed if it fell through. She slept poorly that night and woke up with her head pounding. She turned on her full spectrum lights and changed the curtains covering her walls to bright primaries. After showering, she dressed in one of her best dresses and put on the string of pearls that Mom had given her for luck.

Right at ten she opened the meeting link and was unsurprised to see MIldred Featherwhyle. She didn’t look any older than she had on her book covers.

“Vee Noceda?” she asked.

“Yes. You’re Mildred Featherwhyle. My sister was a huge fan of yours.”

“Was?”

“She’s gone to live somewhere else,” Vee said.

Mildred smiled.

“Yes, I know. She went to the Demon Realm, right?”

“I—Uh…umm…what?” Vee stammered. The red curtain chimed at her in warning.

“I saw your art in the anthology. You’ve either been to the Demon Realm or you’re from the Demon Realm. That was unmistakably a basilisk in the background with a flesh-eating fairy on its shoulder.”

“I—I—I,” Vee kept stammering.

“Breathe child; I’m not here to expose you or capture you. I want to work with you because you’ve seen what I’m writing about and I like the honesty of your artwork. You know what it’s like to be trapped in your body.”

She paused.

“Most people seem to think its a reference to your illness, but I think it’s because you have to pretend to be something you’re not…like me.”

“Is it safe to talk over this link?” Vee asked.

“It’s the best technology. The NSA would have to work for years to break the encryption. I paid for it myself.” Mildred smiled, showing more teeth than Vee thought was normal.

“What are you?” Vee asked.

“Oh, neither witch nor demon, nor human. I’ve lived in this dimension long enough to see the rise of man…and maybe I’ll see its fall if you don’t change your ways. Now what are you?”

Mldred’s eyes glowed and Vee couldn’t look away. She could; however, close her eyes and she did.

She heard MIldred laugh.

“I won’t hurt you; I promise.” Mildred’s voice was soft and grandmotherly.

Vee opened her eyes.

“I’m a basilisk, but I’ve been forced into a human shape permanently so I could stay here without needing magic.”

“Ah, that explains something. Your sister that went to the Demon Realm is the one who’s closing the holes between the realms? Did you take her spot in this world?”

Vee nodded yes to both questions then asked, “Wait how do you know about closing the thin spots?”

Mildred laughed and suddenly her seat was full of flames. The flames spoke in her voice.

“I’m what you’d probably call an ifrit, though I’ve had many names over the centuries. I come from another realm entirely, having travelled through the In Between. I’ve been to the Demon Realm, I’ve been to the stars with the Archivists, I’ve lived in the city of Fire and Brass.”

Suddenly she was Mildred again.

“But I like it here. I like writing for children and showing them that there’s hope and light, but also darkness and death. I want them to learn that they make their own destiny as long as they choose themselves.”

She looked at Vee again.

“You can help with that. Your art has truth in it that goes beyond its form. Your colors and subjects give life to themes that sometimes are lifeless in most human artists. Only rarely do humans achieve that level of consciousness combined with talent that sublimates to the divine.”

“I have that?” Vee squeaked.

“Yes, and now that I know what you are, I understand why.”

“What’s the project?” Vee asked, changing the subject.

“You’d be Art Director for the graphic novel based on my new novel and if it goes well, which it will, then you’ll be Art Director for the animated film for it. It’s a lot darker and about Azura and Hecate’s children discovering the truth of what happened with Villainous Lucy and their culpability in her death.”

“It pays quite well, and in addition, I can grant a boon.”

“A wish?” Vee whispered.

“No, not a wish, but a boon. I’m not omnipotent. I can offer money, power, travel between worlds if your sister should wish to return.”

“But the soft spots they’re closing?” Vee asked.

“I can travel without ripping them open. I understand what they’re doing and why. The Demon Realm had become too much in conjunction with this world; I could feel it. But my ways are not their ways and I can do it.”

“I—can you make it so text messages pass more easily and not just when the realms are in conjunction?” Vee asked. She got up and switched her curtain to a tangerine orange.

“I could make communication better, yes, but it would be different than you think. You’d write in a book like a diary and it would appear in an identical diary there. It would be writing only; voice would take too much magic power to cross the In Between.”

“If you can do that for my Mom and my sister, I’ll join you. I’ll even take less for it.”

“No you won’t. You’ll earn your money; the job will be hard. I’ll make the books and deliver them to the Demon Realm and your mother, Camila. Then I’ll send you the contract. Sign or not, the books are yours to keep.”

“Thank you,” Vee whispered.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Mildred said and hung up.

Vee sat there for a long time before getting up and calling Camila.

The book appeared on their table two days later with a note from Luz. It talked about Manny and it was clear that it couldn’t have come from anyone else. Camila cried while writing in it about everything that had happened. They discovered that photos wouldn’t travel, but Luz drew pictures of her wedding with Amity and their child, Azura. Vee drew back what Mom looked like now and the promise ring she had given to Gigi. No matter how many pages they filled, there were always more.

Vee signed the contract and drew the graphic novel. It sold amazingly well. Interviewers were always surprised by her reclusiveness and her disabilities, but she told them they weren’t disabilities, but rather just who she was. She finished the novel and then started working on the film. She’d just started putting the finishing touches on it when Gigi came back to Gravesfield as a newly minted veterinarian. She was going to do an internship with another clinic in Gravesfield then Camila would hire her for the clinic.

The book’s advance paid for the abandoned house next door and the first residual for it paid for the renovations. The movie advance paid for her wedding to Gigi and their move next door. Camila loved having them close, but also loved having the house to herself.

The movie was a smash and Vee’s star rose, but she stayed in Gravesfield with her wife. The world was too big, and this small part of it she had made was her part, her family.

Her family. She knew what she wanted and called Mildred with Gigi.

“Mildred, I know I don’t have the right to ask for another boon, but there’s something I would like if you could do it.”

“You wish a child?” Mildred guessed.

Gigi smiled and Vee blushed.

“I can do it, but children born like this are often different in unexpected ways. Will you love them no matter what?”

“I will,” Gigi answered in unison with Vee. Mildred looked sharply at Gigi.

“Ah, case in point. You didn’t tell me your wife was a witch.”

“It’s not been important since Vee became human. I can’t do anything magical.” Gigi sighed.

“Oh my dear, yes you can, you just haven’t discovered it yet.”

Mildred laughed her creepy otherworldly laugh.

“I’ll send instructions on how to conceive, but Vee, you’ll have to carry the baby. It’ll be very difficult with your hyperesthesia. Are you willing to sacrifice?”

Vee met Gigi’s eyes.

“Yes.”

Mildred hung up.

“Why is she an author when she could be anything?” Gigi asked.

Vee shrugged.

“I think she just likes it.”

A thick packet came in the mail the next day with instructions on how they could conceive. Very blunt instructions. Eleven months later Manuel Caleb Noceda was born.

They lived mostly happily ever after.

#the owl house fanfiction #veesha #vee/goth girl #mildred featherwhyle #hyperesthesia #synesthesia

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blogplacement1 · 3 months ago

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Week 1 - Friday 01 November 2024

Period 1 - team teach class 4D, class had a lot of talent and high skill and were working on nat 5 still life’s. Gave a few bits of feedback and found the class really likeable. There was one boy who was drawing dinosaurs and I’m not sure what his prospects are as he seemed to be working at a lower level than the rest of the class. Overall it was nice to see a class working on nat 5 work which I hadn’t seen as of yet.

Period 3 - class 2b (solo). class was doing cover work researching patterns in fashion and seemed to be enjoying it. We’re happy to work away on their presentations. Laptops could be a shout for work but there is a lot of technical difficulties that might affect output.

Period 4 - 1A (solo) really talented class with lots of skill. I liked that the teacher delegated tasks to pairs so one took materials, and one put them away. Learning they had already done portraiture meant my plans for the S1s has changed but means I get to do some more projects! One girl seemed very unmotivated and didn’t like her tree painting, she refused to work any more on it so I think it’ll be important to motivate her a bit as the weeks go on.

Period 5 - 3G (solo) had a critical lesson today where they matched descriptions to artworks. Lesson worked really well I thought as they gained knowledge on art contexts.

Period 6 - 2F (solo) a really likeable class full of characters. Definitely the easiest and friendlier classes I’ve had. They were chatty especially boy called jackson who wasn’t confident with his drawing! Class was very creative as they designed Monsters Inc. characters and outcomes were really well made.

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thenewdeadseascrolls · 8 months ago

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Judges 18: 3-7. "The Ephemerides."

The search for a King of Israel begins when the Five Seraphim start wandering the land to find someone that understands the bedrock of the Torah. Such a person is called a young Levite. Bear in mind Torah Time is based on competence. Even if one is a hundred years old, one can still be a young Levite depending on the level of mastery of the Torah.

The Shofim like the Torah indicates mastery is the result of stress. There are no flat planes ahead after one leaves Egypt, only trying aspects of the earth's surface and the implications to Ephraim, "the preparation of one's face to see the Eye Am."

This begins with a climb into the hill country a journey necessary when things need to change. The process ends where it begins in the Shoftim, with the goal of establishing a new King of Israel. For this we are going to need to find a place called Sidon, a people, and a way of life that is not in turmoil , but has accepted the yoke of the rule of law very much on its own:

2b So they entered the hill country of Ephraim and came to the house of Micah, where they spent the night.

3 When they were near Micah’s house, they recognized the voice of the young Levite; so they turned in there and asked him, “Who brought you here? What are you doing in this place? Why are you here?”

4 He told them what Micah had done for him, and said, “He has hired me and I am his priest.”

5 Then they said to him, “Please inquire of God to learn whether our journey will be successful.”

6 The priest answered them, “Go in peace. Your journey has the Lord’s approval.”

7 So the five men left and came to Laish, where they saw that the people were living in safety, like the Sidonians, at peace and secure. And since their land lacked nothing, they were prosperous.[a] Also, they lived a long way from the Sidonians and had no relationship with anyone else.[b]

The selection and installation of a new King is the journey Israel does not want to be on, but the Torah says it is necessary. Democracy has resulted in a planet that is anti-Semitic and is crumbling under the weight of stupid, stupid people who are overpowering the rest. The Greeks, who are credited with the invention of Democracy were quite terrified of the kind of mob rule full Democracy entails and almost always ruins the ability of the nation to function.

Kings like ordinary persons do not want to be inhibited. Legally they do not. There is no such thing as a king with civil rights problems they are immune. So an invader who comes along and wants to wage war or take the rights of the king away is in fact going to do the same to everyone else. So kings are proof against civil rights problems, wars, mob rule, all the aspects of Democracy that proving not to be too good for us. Revolution is the bane of a monarchy so while the king is usually well protected, it is in his best interests to protect everyone and care very well for them if he wants to continue his reign.

This is the essence of the Golden Rule, only in the case of the king it means there is real gold to spend on making it real. The bellyache we feel about a new king has to do with the very same thing: all that gold. It has a way of bringing out the worst in people. So the Shoftim says the King of Israel must be chosen from a group of people that have no inkling of this and no intention to start.

No one wants to make an historic choice and then watch it turn to glass. The Shoftim explains how to make sure the diamond never loses its luster or importance:

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 2b: So they entered the hill country of Ephraim and came to the house. The decision to face God and one's countrymen on one's own terms and pass muster is not an easy one and cannot be accomplished overnight. Once it is made, one cannot go back. One cannot try to attain to the appearance of a Prince and then go jump in the sling and hump ass.

The Number is 5074, האֶפֶסז‎‎ד, the ephemeris.

"An ephemeris is a tabulation of computed positions and velocities (and/or various derived quantities such as right ascension and declination) of an orbiting body at specific times. The plural form of ephemeris is ephemerides."

v. 3: Then they recognized the voice. The Number is 14903, ידטאֶפֶסג‎ ‎, yadtapesg, "The hand is the one that understands the Passage."

The Torah is considered one long mathematical equation. It has verses and chapters and portions, but Torahs are always found on one scroll and treated as one rite of passage.

One cannot answer, "Hey Jock, what's your favorite part of the Torah?" because there is no correct way to respond.

v. 4: He told them what Micah had done for him, and said, “He has hired me and I am his priest.” The Number is 2623, בו‎בג‎‎, bubag, "within him is a messenger from the Father."

from bub aggelos:

"The noun αγγελος (aggelos) means messenger, emissary or envoy; someone who or something that carries a message or charge, without further specification as to what kind of being is doing the messaging. It occurs 183 times in the New Testament; SEE FULL CONCORDANCE.

Its associated verb, αγγελλω (aggello), is a very common word in Greek classical literature and nearly always refers to ordinary humans delivering ordinary messages, reports, news or announcements (see below). The noun αγγελος (aggelos) is somewhat broader applied than the verb and also covers things such as beacons, and animals such as birds."

v. 5: Then they said to him, “Please inquire of God to learn whether our journey will be successful.” The answer is in freedom, meaning independence. The Number is 6448, ו‎דדח‎‎, "especially from people who are religious and don't postpone being just or ethical in exchange for being a member of their community."

v. 6: The priest answered them, “Go in peace. Your journey has the Lord’s approval.” God does not give anyone His Approval except the King of Israel who will be water marked.

The Number is 5438, "The emphasis."

= Shabbos, "Be the boss and sit down."

So everyone knows this does not mean Friday night dinner or a good fried porking, it means quality of life exceeds the amount of effort. If happiness were profit on effort, then Shabbos is the profit margin on happiness effort.

v. 7: So the five men left and came to Laish, where they saw that the people were living in safety, like the Sidonians, at peace and secure. And since their land lacked nothing, they were prosperous.[a] Also, they lived a long way from the Sidonians and had no relationship with anyone else.[b]

The Number is 11220, יאב‎‎ב‎אֶפֶס, יואב אין אפס, Yoav has zero, AKA "God the father cannot love us." He cannot and will not reach out of the clouds and smother us with hugs and kisses. Persons who understand all love, affection, warmth, comfort and happiness are earthbound understand the meaning of the faith.

These are the very same persons that are the most likely to obey secular laws and use them and the foundation for building and mantaining a secular society.

So the King and the Court of the Assembly of the Kingdom of Israel, who are found by divine appointment must be experts in secular law and provisions must be made to ensure the crown is willing to follow it to the letter. This will guarantee the bellyache over the foundation of a new kingdom and the selection of a new King.

The term ephemerides, stated above means everyone has to do this, but the King must always lead the way.

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casspurrjoybell-32 · 11 months ago

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Runaway Wolf - Chapter 2b

*Warning Adult Content*

Levi Blackman

“Okay. What gives? Why is Taco mad at me?”

Logan and Gabe shrugged along with Jace.

Finn rolled her eyes.

“Boys,” she said dramatically.

“You didn’t come to her fashion show in Milan. She really wanted you to be there,” she said and I frowned.

“What. Does it look like I got money falling out of my ass? Why did she think I can afford to fly to freaking Paris?”

That woman was crazy... I was a bartender for Christ sakes.

“She sent you plane tickets and passes to come see the show,” Finn huffed.

“I mean... if she wanted someone to come... she should have asked me. Duh? I mean who takes a guy to a fashion show in Pairs,” she whined.

“I didn’t get anything in the mail… no wait... you know what my mail box was broken into... a couple weeks back,” I explained.

“What about your cell-phone?” Jace asked resting his chin on Finn’s shoulder.

“I um… I –I kind of … dropped it… in the… toilet,” I stuttered with an embarrassed laugh before clearing me throat.

“You dropped your cell-phone in the toilet?” Gab snickered trying his best to not laugh aloud and I glared at him.

“Yes. It happens...”

“Right,” Finn said, tightening her lips and her cheeks were red from the effort but I could still hear a few chuckles coming from her whore mouth.

“Did you... haha... reach in and get it... haha...” she tried to covered her mouth with her hand to stop the laugh but it was too late I heard it anyway.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I grumbled glaring down at the table.

They all started to burst out laughing.

Growling I signaled for a waitress to come over.

She saw and headed over to our now obnoxiously loud giggling table.

“Yes, Sir. What can I get for you?” she asked.

“Yeah anything with alcohol in it.”

She nodded with a smile and went on her way coming back a few moment later.

“No, Levi. You've got to tell us. Was your phone sleeping with the turds?” Logan asked before laughing some more.

I made no attempt to even answer his bitch-ass.

“Hey everybody. We’re Winter Train and this song is called Got You,” my smexy boyfriends voice suddenly sounded though out the bar.

Thank God... and I looked up to see him and his band on stage.

Aww he looked so cute up there.

A guitar softly started changing chords ever so often then the base guitar kicked in.

The thing that made his band unique was they had a cello.

I think bands that have string instruments sound the best.

The song they played was sweet and soft... Matt’s voice complimented every instrument up there it was smooth, deep and melodic.

I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t been discovered yet... they were amazing.

I noticed people were getting up to dance with their partners... Jazz’s sluty-ass was up their too.

The time flew by and I realized that it was time for me to go to work.

Signing I downed the rest of my drink and slid from the booth pushing Gabe out, so I could go.

“Hey. Ask next time. You don’t have to push,” he complained stumbling to catch himself.

“Oh... Quit being a flamer,” I teased and leant down to kiss his cheek.

“I’ve got to go guys. Duty calls,” I said.

“Oh... Like your cell-phone?” Finn giggled.

“Hahaha. Guess what Finn? Fuck You,” I snarled flipping her off.

She just smiled and kissed the air at me.

“Oh... Anytime, lover boy,” she lowered her voice an octave.

Jace jabbed her with his elbow.

“I don’t like sharing,” he narrowed his eyes at her and pulled her even closer on his lap.

"Okay. I’m going before I have to watch them swallow each other’s tongues.”

“Don’t forget to tell you boyfriend, bye,” Logan said his words slurred.

He was such a light weight.

“Right,” I said sarcastically agreeing with him.

Oh it irks me when people tell me to do something I’m already about to do.

Rolling my eyes I walked towards the backs door on the side of the stage where Matt would be.

The security eyed me suspiciously.

“No-one’s allowed back here,” he said in a deep gruff voice.

“Oh come on Mr. Security Guard, a quick peek wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it?” I asked using my best gay voice.

He looked bored as he glared down at me.

“No-one goes back there,” he said again.

“Why do you have to be like that?” I asked touching his arm slightly... his brow rose as he looked down at my hand.

Slowly, I caressed up his muscular arm.

“Wow you’ve got some serious arm-age. How many times a day do you work out?”

Maybe if I sweet talk him, he’ll let me though.

This made him pause.

“Uhh. Almost every day”

“Oh. That’s kind of sexy,” I purred leaning into him... his body stiffened a moment but relaxed none the less.

“Y-you think so?” he cleared his throat.

“Oh yeah. I love a man who can lift me up during… well you know,” I purred winking.

“But I really need you to do me this favor,” I said nodding my head towards the door.

He looked unsure which meant he was considering it this time.

He licked his lips his eyes scanning the room before he nodded turning to open the door for me.

“Go ahead.”

I smiled at him and swatted his nice firm ass.

“Thanks big guy,” I said and walked in.

And that ladies and gentlemen was how to get past the security from Lola’s book on how to ‘work what you got.’

No matter what gender.

Once I was in I close the door and walked over to Matt whose back was turned.

Slowly I sneaked up on him then pounced.

“AAHHH,” he yelped like a girl, causing the band to burst in laughter.

“Aww, baby. I’m sorry,” I apologized sliding down his back and he turn to glare at me while he took me in his arms.

“You’re just an... evil little boy,” he growled at me and kissed me softly.

“Hey. I am not little,” I whined wrinkling my nose at him playfully.

“Sure you’re not. Are you leaving?” he asked and I nodded.

"Yep."

“Okay. Oh, hey. I’ve some stuff to do with the guy, so I’m going to crash at my place, tonight,” he told me kissing my cheek.

“Alright. Goodnight then,” I whispered pressing my lips against his once more... lingering for only a few seconds and stepped back.

“I’ll just take Mr. Sexy Security Guard home with me, tonight,” I said, shrugging... then turning to walk out the door.

“What? What security guard?” he exclaimed but I was already walking out.

I looked over my shoulder at him before winking purposely to the guard for Matthew to see.

I hear him call my name but I just gave him a back handed way as I walked towards the exit.

Well... I’ll be hearing about this tomorrow but it was so worth it.

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handelplayssims · 1 year ago

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Lottery day! Might as well purchase some tickets, even if 2B and 9S don’t need the money. 2B’s got less than two hours until she heads into work so I’ll just have her meditate a bit before heading out. 9S is finally awake at 11AM! Low fun so lets do his whim, playing chess. Second whim is to chat with Tetsuya, who’s at work until 4. We’ll just play chess until then and then invite him over. ...I’m also planting a bug on him. Just because. Work for 9S is, once again, writing reports. So again, we’ll write that report and then be parked at the computer for even more time. ...ah yes, need a new aspiration for 9S. I’ll go with Nerd Brain, as it ties into Logic and Handiness is not that bad.

2B wants to chat with Alice Spencer-Kim but alas, 9S has his socialization going on, not with Tetsuya, but with Eddie, who dropped by. Thankfully, they both left. So the two just had a little chat. Right. 2B still has her aspiration to do so when we are to chat with Alice Spencer-Kim, we’ll do it at the Onsen, right next to the slopes. A nice check in was had. Right, now let’s SHRED THOSE SLOPES! ...the bunny slopes, I mean. At least until level 2. Annnd injury. I was going to switch slopes but with that, we better relax some more at the onsen. Annnd it’s 5AM on the next day. And Winterfest. Neither 2B or 9S have any particular desires to do anything on this holiday. ...but at some point, you know my boy is going to rush over and go “2B! 2B! Where have you been!?” Jealous as he is. Also, I misunderstood! I thought we needed some snowboarding and rock climbing but I just needed the rock climbing. ...ah, and I got a reminder about climbing gear. Ah well. When we got home, I’ll get that sorted. For now, we practice! ...and bring 9S over. So he can check in on 2B and join in on her in rock climbing. Also Sabrina Slade won the lottery. Congratulations to this random townie.

I had 2B and 9S exchange gifts at least. They would at least do that for Winterfest, I believe. Meanwhile, while 2B rock climbs, I had 9S ski. Seems like a 9S thing to do. Also AYE! I finally got a call from another sim to hang out! Aurun asked 9S to hang out at his home. Sims update just happened that made changes to allow that to work. Wooo. Still rejecting it though. We’re skiing! Now we can focus on 9S’s whim! Asking 2B on a da- she’s sleepy. Dang it. Well, let’s return home. Good day at the slopes, very productive towards skill building. ...after 9S gets a skill raise in skiing first. Now he’s sleepy. Might as well do the festive things together and then go to sleep. Wait no, woohoo and THEN sleep. Because yep. Yep. That be those two.

Let’s see then. 2B’s whims are to flirt with Miko Ojo...eh and to mourn the dead. Ehhhh. We don’t even have any dead to mourn. Father Winter is here so we’ll just wait for him to go away before heading out to the local bar with Miko. Ahp, Father Winter is chatting with 2B, let’s see if we can ask for a prese- annnd there he goes. Ah well. Eh, this is the final day so let’s just get some rest before we end this time with the androids. And just about 5AM! Nice! Let’s check Neighborhood Watch and head off!

Neighborhood Watch!

Tyrell Carlisle in the Carisle household has died. Tyrell asked a rabbit if it wanted a carrot, but the rabbit chose violence.

Rosa Landgraab in the Lend household left her job as a Getaway Driver in the Boss career.

Oooooh intersting! That might mean new paths for her. Maybe.

Forgotten Hollow: The Paewai household recently moved out.

Tatum Olivas in the Olivas household retired from the Diver career.

Alright, let’s see where the dice roll takes us. Ooooh, Moody and McMillan! We’re going to visit some old gays next time so see you all then!

#sims 4 #blogging #nier automata #2b #9s #lots and lots of rock climbing grinding this post #and an entire holiday just going “eh” because no one particularly cared for the traditions

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otppurefuckingmagic · 8 years ago

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no ranting here, just some observations about season 2 and the final cuts of malec scenes so far...

as a fan who started watching SH because of malec, in S2 i’ve solidly reframed my expectations to this reality: there may be seven main cast members, but clary is the main character. therefore, the characters who are involved in scenes with or about her (primarily simon and jace right now) get the most screentime. internalizing this has made watching the show...easier.

easier, but no less frustrating.

the writers understand malec in terms of overall story arc, and the producers acknowledge the importance of magnus and alec via social media, but there’s a bias in how malec is portrayed in terms of screentime set aside for intimacy (casual, conversational, and sexual), and the way intimate malec scenes are shot (direct shots that focus on chest and above vs full body shots that can showcase affection outside of a kiss).

unlike every other “couple” on the show (with the notable exception of lucelyn #RIP), malec hasn’t been given much time--or space on the screen--to simply linger and be.

harry and matt can (and do) give everything portraying these characters, but the final product is reliant on what camera angles are used and the choices in the editing room, especially when dialogue is limited.

i hope that the production and editing teams will be open to listening, and perhaps become more aware of how subtly bias can filter into art--even when we have the best of intentions.

the show has, overall, improved drastically since the first season. they’re not shying away from the malec relationship, but there’s still a hesitancy in the final cut of malec scenes that speaks of people who are unsure how to frame queer intimacy, and are, possibly, uncomfortable.

this is why diversity in production and editing teams (not just writing and acting) matters.

it would’ve been life changing for me to see characters like alec and magnus on my screen when i was younger. it’s life affirming now to see the evolution of their relationship.

malec isn’t portrayed perfectly, but there is time and opportunity for the production staff to learn and grow. there may even be a shift in the episodes left to air. we have to wait to see.

i expect for malec to have less screentime because they are a side story in clary’s journey. to give malec “equal” time is unrealistic in a show that’s not centered around them.

however, equality and equity are two different things. seeing malec portrayed through the same lens as clary’s relationships and other het relationships would be equitable even if malec won’t have equal time.

i’ll continue to watch the show because seeing and supporting positive queer relationships on TV matters to me. i’ll continue to watch because equity for malec is still possible ♡ xx

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petertingle-yipyip · 2 years ago

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MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

season 2b - friends to lovers

tags: @astrobees @mayasaurus--rex @americaarse @dusstory @johnmurphys-sass @ironprincessstranger // season two // two // masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Livia

Word Count: 5,660

Summary: Months after Elektra, the Kitchen is down two vigilantes. Believing they could have a normal life, Matt and Livia try domesticity. Though something still lingers within them both.

Packing up Exodus was probably the hardest decision you had to make.

Well, not the decision part of it exactly. That was done almost immediately after Elektra’s funeral. Actually following through and keeping that part of you away was the hard part.

You and Matt talked about it and decided putting away both of your alter egos was the better choice. The double lives had taken so much from you two that it just wasn’t worth it anymore. You both came to the conclusion that the Kitchen could survive without you two. It took you away from your friends too many times and most recently, it took Elektra - one of the few people who didn’t see you as a simple murderer- from you. However, packing up Exodus also meant putting your powers on the back burner.

You still absorbed a lot in your day to day activities. You used it to stop couples’ arguments from getting too angry or to raise someone’s courage so they finally ask someone on a date. But you didn’t use it to manipulate or hurt anyone anymore. You also tried not to shut everything out as much.

You were emotionally open and vulnerable. But you were also normal. Something you never really had before and it scared you. You did, however, use your powers for one thing. You made sure Matt - or anyone for that matter - couldn’t tell if you told a lie. As small a thing as it seemed, you couldn’t let yourself be completely vulnerable, even with Matt. You had seen too many people die that way.

But you still needed something to use as an outlet for everything you were getting back and late night boxing at Fogwell’s or training with Matt wasn’t always enough. There was still the darker impulses that thumped in your chest, the red haze that lingered around the edges of your vision and the siren call of mania that accompanied it.

Everything was constantly building up inside you from the moment you woke up, sometimes being so heavy that you couldn’t sleep through the night. More often than not, you ended up sitting on the roof until Matt came out to wrap you in a blanket and coax you back to bed.You felt like you could snap at any moment and that thought scared you more than anything, considering the last time you went postal you left covered in blood.

There were some good changes, too. You had moved in with Matt. Together, you two were trying to build a normal life and a normal relationship. He was starting back as a lawyer, mainly taking pro bono cases while you found something a bit more hands-on.

You heard about a security company called Anvil. When you looked into it and asked around, you found that it hired pretty much all former military. And some of the stories you heard gave you answers you were partially surprised to find but not turned away from. It was practically mercenary work, and that you were good at.

—

“Livia, is it? Can I talk to you?” He waved you over from among the crowd.

“Hi.” You smiled as you stood in front of him. “Is there a problem, Mr. Russo?”

“I don’t know yet.” He shrugged and your brows furrowed as you rested your hands on your hips. “You’re out here making this entire group look like amateurs without breaking a sweat.”

“I don’t know. That doesn’t necessarily seem like it’s my problem.” You chuckled nervously. You didn’t like the way he seemed to be seeing right through you without your usual guards, though you could tell he was still struggling to truly figure you out.

That security felt like it was being dangled in front of you, taunting you and practically begging for you to give in. But you made a promise to Matt to be more open, and you had nothing if not the value of your word. And unfortunately, he made you promise to be open with everyone.

“It is when you don’t have a service record.” He answered coolly.

“It wasn’t stated anywhere that a service record was a job requirement. So I hope you’re not gonna send me away because of it.”

“No? Why’s that?”

“It’d be a pretty hefty discrimination lawsuit.”

“You’re a lawyer too?” His brows raised as he crossed arms over his chest.

“I am.” You smirked. “And I know two other really good ones that can win this with their eyes closed. Can you say the same?”

“Look, all I’m saying is that you don’t learn to fight like that for some back alley boxing league. Where’d you learn all that?”

“I was part of a highly elite covert kill squad.” You carefully explained and truthfully, you liked the way that omission of truth sounded. “We operated without loyalty to any nation or borders, just to each other and the man at the top.”

“Right, right… So what was it called?”

“All due respect, Mr. Russo, the name doesn’t matter. You won’t find any information about it in any headlines or database. We were the most covert operation to exist, more so than any off the books military op. We were a ghost story, a boogeyman throughout intelligence communities. No one came across us and survived.”

“So it was illegal?”

“I was part of that operation from childhood. I don’t exactly think there’s an orphanage that raises girls that way in the public eye.”

“So you were an orphan?”

“Does it make a difference, Sir?” You sighed.

“Why are you here, Livia?”

“For the first time, I don’t have a fight.”

“But you need one?”

You couldn’t stop the laugh that tumbled out. “What is this? A psych eval? If you’re just looking for a reason to cut me than-”

“I like to know who wants to work for me. I check in on everyone that walks through those doors looking for a job and you, Ms. Yersova, seem to be the only ghost story around here. No record or history.”

“And that scares you.”

“It worries me.”

“How about this?” You offered with a slight smirk as you backed away a few steps and the conversation seemed to keep his interest as he followed you to the training mat. You momentarily wondered if you were doing it but you brushed the thought away quickly. “Three out of five, you and me. You win, you can send me out that door and no lawsuit.”

“Hmm.” He nodded with an amused half smile. “And if you beat me?”

“I get a job. You wanna decide points by take downs or tap outs?”

“I will let my friend, Curtis, decide points.” He pointed to one of the men that had come in with him. Though the man groaned and dropped his head, he came over and offered you a short wave. “Just not the face, alright?”

“Too pretty for that?” You mocked and you felt a spark of anger. “Ooooh… You don't like that..”

“How would you know that?” He asked tightly as he removed his jacket.

“Your eyes.” You shrugged. “There was the slightest movement of your eyebrows. They dropped enough to shadow your eyes and your grip on your jacket got tighter.”

“She’s good.” Curtis chuckled. “I’m tempted to give her a point just for that.”

“No, she doesn’t get a point for that.” He groaned but his friend only grinned, which resulted in Curtis getting the jacket thrown at his face.

“Seems you’ve drawn a crowd, Mr. Russo.” You smirked as you gestured to the gathering around the two of you as you moved to the center of the mat. “Or these guys just wanna see me get my ass kicked.”

“Call me Billy.” He smiled as he lifted his loose fists. “And yeah, I’d say the second one.”

Your attention caught on the way he set his feet, initially leading with the left before switching to lead with the right.

He swung first but you easily smacked his hand away. He threw the other hand but you knocked it away again. You ducked the next swing and spun around him, earning small exclamations from the crowd.

“You’re taking it easy on me.” You announced as Billy turned to face you.

“What makes you say that?” He teased with a cocky smirk.

“You didn’t learn to fight as a kickboxer, I’m guessing.”

“You don’t think so?”

“Kickboxers typically don’t have dominant sides. They’re light on their feet, able to switch sides with one little hop.”

You threw a sharp uppercut with your right hand that hit his stomach before you quickly changed your feet and aimed a high roundhouse that you knew would miss.

“Just like that?” Billy smirked slightly.

“Besides you’re clearly right handed.” You gestured to him vaguely and his head cocked in interest. “The gun at the back of your belt, it favors the right hand.. There’s the slightest dishevelment at the cuff of your right sleeve and a faint discoloration, too. My guess is a retractable blade, easy to conceal and almost unnoticeable. Your initial footing had your left foot forward which gives your drive off your right side, which I’m guessing is your stronger side.. Every step you take leads with the right foot. Oh, and your watch is on your left hand so it doesn’t get in the way when you write.”

“She’s getting a point for that.” Curtis announced with a wide grin.

“You’re good.” Billy nodded, now standing with his left foot forward as if to confirm your observations.

“Looking over my shoulder and figuring people out in an instant is second nature.” You shrugged as you lifted your own fists. “One misstep could’ve cost my life.”

You moved first this time, throwing a body shot that was sure to go wide. As he stepped to the side, you slammed your elbow back and connected with his ribs. He coughed roughly and you grabbed his arm. You twisted it backwards and pressed at the base of his shoulder while forcing your foot against the back of his knee to bring him to the ground.

“Lot of flexibility in your shoulder.” You leaned down to comment and rub in how easy he was to read. “You dislocate it before?”

“Torn rotator cuff as a kid.”

“Middle school baseball?”

He reached back with his free hand and grabbed the back of the arm he could reach. He dropped through a roll, causing a quick yelp to leave you as he flipped you to your back. You landed with a small smack and a groan, but you didn’t miss the celebrations from the crowd when you flattened out and you hit the ground with an annoyed groan.

“From a fight, actually.” He smiled as he knelt beside you, leaning onto his upraised knee to peer down at you.

“Why am I not surprised?” You sighed and turned your head to see his position.

You slipped your arm under his leg to grab his belt - sneaking your fingers between the belt and his pants unnoticed was the tricky part - while the other crept around the back of his neck. At the same time, you were planting your feet against the floor and leaned into the side Billy was on.

Once your hands were in positions, you pushed off and rolled to the side. Your grip on Billy allowed you to flip him over you and to his back. Once he landed, you continued your roll until you were straddling his chest, pinning his arms with your knees. You habitually raised your arm as if your Bite was around your wrist but covered the action by faking a gunshot.

“You’re getting your ass handed to you, Billy,” Curits laughed, showing a two to zero score with his hands.

“Thank you, Curtis.” Billy answered in playful annoyance as you climbed off. “Wasn’t a bad view, actually.” He said lowly as you helped him to his feet.

“Easy there.” You warned and wagged a finger at him. “Already got a man waiting for me back home.”

“Lucky guy.”

“And he knows it.” You grinned. “If I were you, I’d focus more on the fact that I’m about to win and I’m barely even trying.”

“We’ll see.” He shrugged.

He came at you fast, quickly alternating shots and keeping a tight defense. You were able to block or counter most of his offense, but a few slipped through. When you got a moment to breathe, you undid the velcro on one of your wraps and unraveled most of it.

When he threw a shot to your face, you sidestepped and wrapped the extra around his wrist. You yanked him closer and spun to the side so his own arm wrapped around his throat. You knocked his free arm out of your way and stood behind him.

You were quick to drop to your knees and pull him down with you. You let go of the wrap and released his arm, only to replace it with your own. When you saw his hands coming over to grab you, you loosened your hold enough so you could come around the side to be in front. You leaned into him slightly and tucked your knees between your bodies. His hands landed on your sides to push you over but you threw your weight back and flipped him again instead, kicking out your legs to push him all the way over.

“Okay! Okay, you made your point!” Billy called out, now on his back with his hands up in surrender. “I yield.”

You had forgotten there was a crowd until you heard the disappointed exclamations and tongue clicks before they scattered. You scoffed and sat back, hanging your arms on your raised knees.

“Welcome to Anvil.” Billy said kindly and when you looked over, you saw him standing in front of you with an outstretched hand.

“You hear that?” Curtis asked with a grin as he handed Billy back his jacket. “Sounds like wedding bells.”

“In his dreams.”

—

After working at Anvil for a few months, Billy named you Talent Assessment and Training Specialist. But that was a corporate way of saying that you weeded through the various recruit groups and sent a more refined group to Billy for final selections. And once he made his choices, you trained them and kept them sharp.

It was easy work, for the most part. Sometimes Billy had you run point on security details, but only ones that he thought were worth it for you or ones that he was going to be at himself. He liked to call you his right hand or his eyes and ears with the newbies and while it wasn’t your preferred title, you knew it wasn’t worth the argument.

It was easy to recognize that something wasn’t completely wired right in Billy’s head. Working with him sometimes felt like working with a ticking time bomb, just waiting for the right spark to set him off. It made you uneasy at times, given you had all but sworn off your powers so you felt like you were at fate’s mercy if he would have a meltdown. But after about six months of working with him, you figured out his ticks pretty quickly but in the process, you admittedly had to use your powers to calm him down.

But you were glad to finally take a full day off.

You were coming out of the bedroom when you heard Matt’s sentence abruptly stop. You saw his head turn towards the window and the grip on his papers tighten. You felt a surge of anger from the streets below and heard the faint sound of cars honking.

“Matt.” You said gently as you stepped closer. His head quickly turned to you and he smiled. “Remember, it’s for the best.”

“Yeah.” He nodded before dropping his papers into his briefcase so his hands were free to grab your hips and pull you against him. “Were you gonna be able to come by the courthouse today?”

“I am.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I told Russo I needed today so I’m not answering if he calls.”

“I don’t know… From what you’ve told me, I don’t think your boss likes being ignored. Especially by you.” He teased with a smile.

“Oh, Matty.. Your kinda cute when you’re jealous.”

“Nah.” He shrugged. “I’m the one you’re coming home to every night.”

“And I couldn’t be happier.” You said softly before he leaned down and kissed you gently. “Now go. Or you’re gonna be late.”

“Okay.. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He kissed your forehead quickly before gathering his things and hurrying out the door. You stood still for a moment after you watched him go, silently thanking the universe for letting you have something good before heading to get ready for the day.

You were able to sneak into the gallery just before Matt began his questioning. You saw his head tilt towards you and a small smirk crept across his features before he focused back in on his case. You took a seat in the back and watched as Matt worked the man over, gracefully and powerfully tripping him up.

You had almost forgotten how great Matt was in a courtroom.

Once the case was dismissed, you snuck out and hung back while Matt talked to his client. You waited patiently and let him say whatever he was going to say. While you waited, you felt a gentle hand on your arm that made you jump. You turned quickly and saw Karen standing beside you.

“Hi!” You grinned and hugged her quickly.

“Hey.” She smiled back. “You see the trial?”

“He was great, wasn’t he?” You nodded. “That’s the Matt we needed way back when, huh?”

“Oh yeah.” She agreed. “But at least he’s here now. I don’t know how you did it but I’m glad you were able to get him back.”

“Yeah, I think he brought part of me back too.”

You turned and saw Matt’s head tilt towards your conversation. Tapping Karen’s arm, you nodded for her to follow you over to him. His arm lifted as you got closer and he wrapped it over your shoulders to pull you into his side.

“Congratulations, Mr. Murdock.” Karen smiled.

“Thank you, Ms. Page.” He nodded back with a humble smile.

“Y’know, you can be proud of yourself, Matt. No one’s gonna tell.” You teased and he smiled a little wider, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Were you here for a statement?” Matt asked Karen.

“Uh, yeah, actually.. Yeah.” She nodded.

“Why don’t we do that over lunch?” You offered as more reporters and news casters crowded the halls and yelled for Matt’s attention. “My treat.”

“That security gig pays that well, huh?” She joked and you flipped her off, earning a laugh from them both.

“Hey, give me five minutes. Okay?” Matt said quickly before taking his arm away and slowly backing towards the reporters.

“Sure.”

After a brief time of Matt answering other press questions, you three headed down to a diner not too far away. It was relatively empty, save for a few older couples that were so clearly still in love.

You wondered if you and Matt would be together that long.

“Do you wish you kept your secret to yourself?” Karen asked, looking back and forth between you and Matt.

You took a deep breath as you thought about it. You gave Matt the chance to answer first but he still seemed to be thinking.

“Sometimes, yeah.” You nodded. “It would’ve made things easier with me and you, yeah?” You gestured between you and Karen and she gave a small chuckle. “I’m glad that it’s mostly out in the open. It’s like a weight off my shoulders, y’know?”

“Mostly?”

You pressed your lips together and tapped a finger against the table, wondering if you could talk around the question. You felt Matt’s hand on your leg and when you looked over, you found him already focused on you. You had to guess that he enjoyed finally being able to fully read you after being so closed off for so long, but that didn’t mean you necessarily enjoyed it.

You were supposed to read everyone else, not the other way around.

It made you feel like you were made out of windows rather than skin and bone. You were clear, transparent. You could hide nothing, protect nothing. And you had seen that kind of vulnerability get girls killed before. Even so long into your new way of life, it was scary to think about.

But about two months prior, you felt a crushing wave of pain and fear. It crashed into you like a tsunami and overtook your entire body. You felt like you were trapped in a dark room, with walls closing in and only the faintest echo of a voice calling to you. You felt cold, hollow and alone to the point where you wanted to scream with all your might just to see if anyone could hear you. To see if you could hear yourself.

That cold lingered in your bones for days. It was noticed by Matt and even by Billy, but neither really said anything. You could feel their attention lingering on you when you were in the room as they intently watched your actions, an honest concern directed your way until suddenly that cold vanished.

No warmth replaced it. No sense of normalcy stepped in either. It was either there or it wasn’t. And then it just wasn’t.

And not being able to do anything about, to find where it came from, it made you feel like you were letting people down by not doing something. But you couldn’t afford to think about that.

“Not everyone that’s important knows about it…” You explained carefully as you realized they were still waiting for your answer. “I feel like at this point it’s not necessary to say anything cause as far as this city knows, she’s gone. But I guess it still feels like I’m lying to him.”

“Who doesn’t know?” Matt asked gently.

“I don’t think it matters.”

“Livia…” Karen tried.

“Foggy.” You recognized they weren’t going to leave the topic alone. “I never told him.”

“What? Why?”

“Cause I know he’d be devastated… C’mon, he was pissed at you for how long?” You turned towards Matt. “If I told him what she was doing, he would never talk to me again!”

“But you told your boss?” Karen asked with furrowed brows.

“God, no.” You laughed. “I told him a very vague, basic version but he doesn’t know about her.”

“Yeah, maybe it’s for the best you don’t tell him. Foggy, I mean.” Matt nodded but you wondered if he understood your concern or just wanted to be supportive of your choice. “I’m personally glad I don’t have that secret anymore. I needed you two to know.”

“When I first figured it out, I used to wonder if it’d be easier if I didn’t know… I still wonder how it would’ve been different.” You shrugged slightly.

But you had to admit, it was nice to go through your day without wincing with every breath or hiding a new cut or avoiding touching a bruise.

“I don’t know what I expected but I..” Matt to a deep breath. “I knew I couldn’t lie to you anymore.”

“I appreciate that.” Karen nodded with a small smile.

You smiled widely as you saw the gentle purple surrounding her, swirling around her like a halo. Karen was truly happy, comfortable in her life at the Bulletin. Despite how complicated everything had gotten, how far away you all seemed at times, she had love for you two still. She still cared.

“It helps having her around.” Matt said, giving your leg a gentle squeeze and drawing your attention back to the conversation which caused the purple to fade away.

“What about you, Liv? Do you miss it? Have you figured everything out?” Karen asked you gently.

“I did… For a while, actually.” You admitted slowly. “But then I got this new life, yknow? It’s not something I can just ignore or pretend never happened. I mean, I see these scars and sometimes it’s like I’m in that moment all over again. I’m feeling all of that pain all over again. She was a huge part of who I am and that version of myself got me to where I am today, y’know? I’d be lying if I said I don’t owe her at least a little. And she’s not going to just… disappear because I put the suit away.”

She nodded along as you spoke but you could sense she was hoping for a certain answer, a certain confirmation that you were able to move on from Exodus.

“But it’s been really nice. Having Matt and the job at Anvil. I finally feel peace, I guess… It’s nice. But it’d be wrong if I said that I don’t get that itch I need to scratch sometimes. I know she’s still in here.” You tapped your chest. “And I’m kinda glad for it.”

“Listen, as complicated as I feel about all this stuff, I just… I have to tell you guys.” She smiled softly. “The NYPD is prevailing.. Crime rate’s down and I report on it every day. I really think Daredevil and Exodus made this city a safer place.”

Matt nodded beside you and you nudged him with your elbow. He chuckled slightly and laced his fingers through yours.

“This city’s better off without them right now.” Matt said with a content smile. But you felt something beneath it, something uncertain. It made your brows furrow, only for a moment but you said nothing.

“Yeah, well, it’s better with Matt Murdock and Livia Yersova.” Karen agreed.

“Speaking of your reporting, Ms. Page.” You smiled. “I’ve read some of your recent stuff. Being at the Bulletin suits you.”

“Yeah.” She grinned. “It’s been really great. But that does remind me. What happened to that big time FBI gig you were bragging about before?”

“I put everything in.” You nodded. “I just haven’t heard anything back. Dex said he would talk to the SAC and try to nudge it along a little but it’s still a process, yknow.. I’m guessing when they run their backgrounds and find absolutely nothing, it’s a little concerning.”

“It’ll work out the way it’s supposed to.” Matt offered gently.

“Yeah.” You smiled casually. “I’m not too worried about it. As long as I have you guys and Foggy, I have everything I need. Figuring out money or a job never worried me.”

“That reminds me!” Karen said and pulled her notepad from her bag.

She dove into her interview with Matt about his most recent case. You zoned in and out, not really caring what he said since you could just read her story about it later. It was a quick interview, followed by a nice and comfortable reminder of lunch. You all laughed and joked and it all felt so familiar. After lunch, you went with Matt to the church.

While he sat in the confessional with Father Lantom, you sat in a pew not far away. You were greeted with polite smiles as the older women knelt down at various places. In a pew a few rows up. In front of an altar of candles. In front of the tabernacle at the front of the church.

The idea of blind faith was never something you had. Religion as a whole was something you abandoned long ago but being there, in a place that so many regarded as holy, you felt something warm. Maybe it was the people. Maybe it was the belief that they left behind that soaked so deeply into every fiber of the building. The entire building, it was warm and faintly smelt of cinnamon though clearly nothing could’ve left the smell behind.

That place meant nothing to you, but it meant a great deal to Matt, which was the only reason you ever cared to go inside. You wanted to see what he felt so drawn to about the church and Catholicism. While you still felt no appeal, you did feel like you could find something in that place to mean something. If not the religion or the symbols or the belief within those walls, the importance to Matt was enough to give the whole thing a little bookmark in your own heart.

“What about you?” Father Lantom asked as he and Matt came back to where you were seated. “Care for a turn?”

“I don’t think even religion can absolve me now.” You said simply with a small smile, accepting what you were. “But I appreciate the offer.”

“Not even a conversation, um…?”

“Livia.” Matt answered.

“My name’s Alivia.”

“Alivia.” Lantom smiled softly, knowingly. “The door’s always open.”

“Give it a chance.” Matt tried, nodding in the direction of the confessional. “Might help.”

“You really think I need it?” Your brows furrowed as you stood.

“I think it couldn’t hurt.” He shrugged with a lazy smile.

“I’ll pass this time around… Maybe another time.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” Lantom smiled before a short bow and left.

Your walk home was quiet. Neither you or Matt brought up the mild insinuation from the church. You didn’t think you needed any help, needed to talk anything through. You knew things had shifted since Elektra died and maybe Matt thought your conversation with Karen about your former alter egos meant something more. Maybe it sparked something in him and he assumed it sparked the same in you. The only thing about that was that it didn’t spark anything new. Those feelings had existed within you since you put her away, since you turned off your implant for what was intended to be the final time.

You were finally going to say something to Matt as he headed into the kitchen when the entire building began to shake. You reached for the countertop for support as you wobbled on your feet. Matt’s arm came around your waist and he pulled you down, covering you with his body as everything continued to shake and the sounds echoed through the city.

You found yourself gripping his jacket tightly as you heard things falling from shelves and breaking. And after what seemed like an eternity, everything quieted.

The world went still, if only for one single second.

You two stood carefully and you kicked away the shards of broken glass as you and Matt moved across the room. It was clear to you that Matt was listening to things outside, likely hearing the panic and confusion that was burrowing into your chest like a drill. The pressure of it welled up in your chest until you felt you would burst so you grabbed Matt’s hand and ran up the stairs leading to the roof.

Once you hit the fresh air, you let go of his hand and hurried to the ledge. You braced your hands against the edge and leaned over slightly with your eyes closed tight. Taking a deep breath, you tried to gather all the emotions building inside of you and released them with a slow, steady exhale.

You sighed as you felt the pressure dissipate from your chest and glanced over at Matt. He was near the corner, head turning and attention shifting quickly as he seemed to listen to everything in the city. To protect yourself from anything else overwhelming, you blocked out everything from the city below and let yourself exist in a bubble.

“Matt?” You tried when you knew you were in control. “We can’t fix this. Let’s just check on the nei-“

“C’mon.” He said quickly, grabbing your hand and sprinting across the rooftop.

You let out a small noise of surprise as he tugged you behind him but you made no effort to stop him. The feeling of running across buildings, sprinting and tumbling and jumping the alleys felt so natural that you couldn’t help but grin to yourself.

You hadn’t even realized how much you still missed it.

When you and Matt finally stopped, you could hear the voices. Kids, clearly in a panic. You wondered if they were running from the cops but the sound of a shotgun answered that question.

As you were dropping down, Matt knocked out the closest light in the alley before he joined you. You grabbed the girl and spun her out of the way as the next gunshot went off and whizzed past you two. She squealed but didn’t try to fight you as you pushed her on her way.

“They’re just kids.” Matt tried but when you turned, you saw him at the wrong end of a shotgun.

He knocked the gun away as the man pulled the trigger so you hurried in. You took the gun and jammed it against his chest, pushing him back until he hit the wall. You threw two sharp right hooks before grabbing his shirt front and throwing him towards Matt.

After a quick barrage of hits from Matt, the man wobbled towards you. You met him with a hard left cross and he fell to the floor. Looking at your knuckles, you saw them red and split in a few places.

You smiled slightly before grabbing Matt’s hand and quietly walking back home.

You knew you shouldn’t have done it.

You knew you should’ve stayed home.

Getting involved only brought Exodus that much closer to the surface.

But they were just kids… And there was so much going on, the cops wouldn’t have gotten there in time… It was just the one time.

It didn’t change anything.

Exodus was still gone.

She was retired….

Right?

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