#and likes to play with her food :))--both literally and metaphorically

[just-shairahhh]

Safe. Protected. Home.

Pairing: Tim Bradford x Fem!Reader

Author's Note: I finished the entire series in a week and I am literally so obsessed! I cannot wait for the next season and I just had to write for Tim. I really hope you enjoy this. Requests for "The Rookie" are open!

Word Count: 1.2 K

When you think of Tim Bradford, now Sergeant Bradford, a lot of things come to mind. Tough. No-nonsense. Fiercely dedicated. The kind of guy who thrives under pressure and expects nothing less from those around him. Tim’s the guy who keeps people at arm’s length, both metaphorically and literally, a fortress of hard-earned authority. But one thing you’d never peg him as? A sucker for cuddles. Or hugs.

He wasn’t the kind of guy you’d expect to be a sucker for cuddles. Or hugs. Stoic, guarded—those were the words people used to describe him. The guy who kept his emotions in check, always composed, always in control. But after 18 gruelling hours on his feet, every inch of his body ached, and his mind buzzed with exhaustion and all he could think about as he drove home was y/n, the way she’d wrap her arms around him. How she’d rest her cheek against his chest, her warmth seeping into him like sunlight after a storm. It was all he wanted and all he could think about.

The moment he reached home, every part of him itched to burst through the door, stride straight to her, and lose himself in her embrace. He could almost feel it—the warmth of her arms around him, the soft scent of her shampoo filling his senses, melting away the weight of the last 18 hours. But as he reached the door, his hand hesitated on the key. What if she was sleeping? The thought softened his urgency. Quietly, he slid the key into the lock, turning it with deliberate care, the faintest click breaking the silence. Pushing the door open just enough to slip inside, he tiptoed across the threshold, his movements cautious and measured.

But little did he know that sleep was the last thing on her mind. She was curled up on the couch, a book resting in her lap, softly humming along to the faint music playing in the background. The moment her y/e/c eyes met his, her face lit up, and she sprang to her feet, her joy radiating like sunlight through the room. Her expression quickly shifted as her gaze sharpened, scanning him from head to toe with practiced care. She looked for any signs of injury, any hidden pain he might be hiding, her concern as palpable as her love. Only when she was certain he was physically okay, did the tension in y/n's shoulders ease, and a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding escaped. His reaction was the opposite though. The sharp, vigilant eyes that had been trained all day to watch for danger, to stay alert to every possible threat, softened the instant they locked onto hers. In her presence, the edges of his world dulled, and for the first time in hours, he felt something close to peace. Tim Bradford had finally made it to his home.

“You’re home,” y/n said softly, he didn’t say a word, just crossed the room in three long strides and pulled her into his arms. The weight of the world slipped away as her familiar scent surrounded him, grounding him.

"Hey, baby," she said softly, her voice warm and soothing as she pulled him closer. "Rough day? I saw the news. I’m so proud of you."

He let out a weary sigh and pulled back a little, “I’m just grateful we got those kids back to their parents safely," he murmured, his voice heavy with exhaustion yet tinged with relief.

Y/n reached out, her fingers grazing his cheek gently. "You did good," she whispered, her gaze steady and full of admiration. "More than good." Tim only hummed in response as he buried his face further into her hair.

"Are you hungry? Should I warm up some dinner for you?" she asked, her voice laced with concern as her eyes searched his face.

He shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. "No, we grabbed something from the food truck near the station before heading out. Did YOU eat?" His hands found her cheeks, cupping them gently as his eyes filled with worry, scanning her face like she was the only thing that mattered in the world.

She grinned, a playful spark lighting her expression. "I did. The last time I offered to wait and have dinner with you after work, you threatened to watch ‘The Bachelor’ without me. Remember that?"

His smile widened into a low chuckle. "And the threat still stands," he teased. "I’m gonna grab a quick shower, and then we can get back to it. Maybe... some cuddles, too?" His voice softened with hope, a rare vulnerability sneaking through his exhaustion.

"Deal, Sergeant," she replied, laughter bubbling in her tone as she poked his chest. "But make it quick, or I’m starting the episode without you."

He gave her a mock salute, his grin growing as he headed for the bathroom.

When he came back, the living room was unrecognizable, transformed into a cosy sanctuary. Y/n had pulled out the couch to its full size, layering it with a soft, inviting blanket and scattering pillows around. A few of her stuffed toys nestled in the corners, adding a playful touch, while a small assortment of chocolates and snacks sat neatly on the table beside the sofa, within easy reach. The fairy lights she’d insisted on months ago— “They add character!” she’d argued—were now casting a warm, gentle glow over the room, their soft twinkle making the space feel magical. The TV was ready, paused at the latest episode of ‘The Bachelor’, the title screen glowing in quiet anticipation. As if that wasn’t enough, a few lavender-scented candles flickered softly in the background, their soothing aroma already working to calm his frayed nerves. She’d remembered, of course—lavender always helped him unwind.

He stood there for a moment, taking it all in, his heart swelling with gratitude and affection. This wasn’t just a room; it was a safe haven. Yet none of it held a candle to her. Y/n was his safe haven. She stood in the middle of it all, a quiet smile playing on her lips, her eyes full of love and a hint of mischief. Y/n wasn’t just the one who made the room feel like home. She was home.

“Hey, you’ve been standing there for a while. Want me to bring the party to you?” she quipped.

With a terse nod, he shakes his head and runs over to her. No words were needed.

As he reached her, she shifted on the couch, sitting upright to make room for him. Without hesitation, he lowered himself onto the soft cushions, resting his head against her chest. The steady rhythm of her heartbeat filled his ears, a soothing melody that made every hardship, every struggle of the last few days, feel distant and almost insignificant. He snuggled in closer, his body melting into hers, while her arms wrapped around him protectively. One hand rested on his back, grounding him, while the other slipped into his hair, her fingers weaving through the strands with gentle, rhythmic motions.

For years, Tim Bradford had carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, always the protector, always the shield. But here, in her arms, he finally felt something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in far too long.

Safe. Protected. Home.

.

.

.

.

.

[flameswallower]

THE BEST FICTION I ENCOUNTERED IN THE SECOND HALF OF 2024!!!

A much longer follow-up to this post. (Can you imagine how much I'd need to type out if I hadn't split them up???)

Once again, I'm not listing movies, TV shows, video games, etc. I AM listing some web fiction and comics/graphic novels, because I feel much more qualified to judge and recommend those things.

____

Novels and Novellas!

Failure To Comply, by Cavar (2024): Reading Cavar’s Failure to Comply, I couldn’t help but think of the recent David Cronenberg movie Crimes of the Future. Both deal with dystopias in which bodies and their modification are strictly regulated, and people with unauthorized bodies form a vibrant, perpetually imperiled subculture on the margins. Both use this conceit to speak metaphorically about the plights of trans and disabled people, although Failure to Comply’s characters are also presented as literally, textually disabled and trans. But, although Crimes of the Future is often accused of being a “weird movie,” Failure to Comply is undeniably much, much weirder. Cronenberg is super normal compared to this.

Maej, by Dale Stromberg (2024): a doorstopper I found difficult to put down and finished inside a week; a work of very unapologetic genre fiction that’s equally unapologetic in its intelligence and dedication to doing strange, creative things with language; a high fantasy story I actually liked. The setting is the city of Sforre-Yomn, in the country of Hwoama, whose culture combines elements from across the continents of Asia and Europe. But Hwoama is matriarchal: men are subordinate to women, who dominate politics, business, the military, and nearly all other professions. As a result of this fact, almost all the major characters in the novel are female. By turns this presents a fun, simple, mischievous inversion of maleness as the unmarked default state for fictional characters, and meaty commentary on the social construction of sex, sexuality, and gender. Stromberg has cited Le Guin as an influence on Maej and, in the most complimentary way possible, this influence is evident.

Lote, by Shola von Reinhold (2020) is a gorgeous, funny, moving academic satire/mystery and love letter to Black modernism. It’s also very queer/trans and (in my personal opinion, perhaps not intentionally) very autistic. The title refers to a possibly-mythical clandestine circle of artists/magic practitioners who style themselves after the lotus eaters and seek transcendence via experiences of sensory and aesthetic pleasure. As with many novels that stand out to me, you won’t read anything else like it. I especially recommend this one if you want a completely unique, intellectually stimulating work of fiction, but are put off by the aggressively experimental and opaque style of Failure To Comply and by the SFF-ness of FTC, Maej, and Leech.

Walking Practice, by Dolki Min (trans. Victoria Caudle) (original 2022; English translation 2024) is a breezy, sexy *, gender-bending Korean novel about a poor amorphous space alien stranded on Earth after a spaceship crash. Unfortunately for us, this alien soon discovers that 1.) the most suitable food for it down here is human flesh, and 2.) with a lot of pain and effort, it can squeeze itself into the likeness of a variety of different human beings. It figures out hookup apps pretty fast, too, and then it’s off to the races. This may sound like creature horror, but it plays more as an exploration of identity and humanity, and a satire of sex, romance, and contemporary hookup culture. (*possibly less sexy if you don’t have a vore/cannibalism/consumption thing)

Love/Aggression, by June Martin (2024) is a BANANAS mundane fantasy-comedy about two trans women who are kind of best friends, and kind of enemies. Zoe (actress) is an arrogant, cartoonishly unpleasant minor celebrity who thinks she’s much more famous and popular than she actually is— but Martin manages to show how her personality is in part the sympathetic result of dysphoria and experiencing a lot of transmisogyny over the course of her life, and how she used to be a much kinder person before fame went to her head. Meanwhile, Lily (freeloader and aspiring tattoo artist) is a sweet, spacy, passive daydreamer, and a far more immediately likable character— but Martin manages to show how she is not entirely blameless in the ongoing drama with Zoe, how her passivity is sometimes the result of immaturity and selfishness, and how even when it isn’t, it’s a character flaw that keeps landing her in situations which kind of suck for all parties involved. They live in a magical Pittsburgh that is, conveniently, located right next to Los Angeles. Their friends include a BDSM cult leader and a nonbinary person whose name becomes “Dicks” in the first chapter of the story and who is never called anything else. (This character also happens to be the…owner? Custodian?…of an infinite, maze-like, reality-distorting building that is probably the most fun and least scary infinite, maze-like, reality-distorting building in all of fiction.) There’s vore in this one, too! But don’t go in expecting a particularly cohesive plot: Love/Aggression is far more about characters, relationships, and gags.

Maybe the Moon, by Armistead Maupin (1992) was inspired by the too-brief life of Maupin’s real friend Tamara De Treaux, a little person who depicted the title character in parts of the movie E.T. Her literary equivalent, Cady Roth, is a sardonic, fashionable, thirty-year-old little person who depicted a magical gnome called Mr. Woods in a beloved, albeit treacly, children’s fantasy movie of the same name. But since she played the role inside a thick rubber suit, and since the director of the movie felt it would spoil the magic to give her any credit, almost nobody knows that. Ten years later, she lives in obscurity on dwindling funds and struggles to find work…until, out of sheer desperation, she decides to take a job with a troupe of children’s birthday party entertainers. Romance, escapades, etc. ensue. Both a very funny book and a very sad one; it’s quite frank about death, about the ways Hollywood fucks people over, about the many ways that, especially if you’re marginalized and/or an artist, your life isn’t fair and isn’t ever going to be fair and “happy endings” probably aren’t what the world has in store for you. I think ultimately it’s sentimental in a good way; it has a big heart.

Leech, by Hiron Ennes (2022) is a total banger to finish out this year with! So glad I picked it up finally! Absolute genre jambalaya, this one: sci-fi, stuff that reads as fantasy despite having or probably having a “sci-fi” explanation, horror, Gothic novel (but not, crucially, a Gothic romance), mystery, medical thriller, character study, philosophical novel about ideas of consciousness, selfhood, individuality, and free will…there’s probably something in here for everyone reading this. You’ll love it, almost guaranteed, if you love the Gormenghast books. You’ll love it, almost guaranteed, if you love any Star Trek series. You’ll love it, almost guaranteed, if you love the science fiction of Peter Watts, or the horror of Gretchen Felker-Martin. You’ll love it, almost guaranteed, if you love The Thing (1982). The prose is lush, idiosyncratic, a bit purple, but it’s nothing too baroque, it’s all perfectly easy to read. The complicated, antiheroic protagonist/narrator is delightful and memorable, and I think Ennes did a great job at conveying unusual states of memory/selfhood/cognition through it/them/her. (Some of these states are not ones with which I have, or even could possibly have ever had, real experience, but some are, and I am always pleased to find those replicated in ways I can recognize and feel as “truthful.”)

Short Story Collections!

Stone Gods (2024) and Worse Than Myself (2009) by Adam Golaski contained several of the very best short stories I read this year— especially Worse Than Myself, which is also a slightly more accessible/“normal” story collection and the one I’d recommend starting with. Golaski writes eerie, dreamlike, bizarre fiction that frequently crosses over into horror— even including time-worn horror genre tropes like zombies, ghosts, and vampires. But let me tell you, Golaski’s “The Man From the Peak” (in Worse Than Myself) is a BAD time, like give-you-nightmares scary, and it feels like nothing you’ve ever read before, even though it’s about A Nosferatu. Not just a vampire, but a vampire that is explicitly described as egg-bald with big pointy ears and two sharp buck teeth. That’s the antagonist. And it fucking works. He makes it new. Please, please read Adam Golaski, you guys. It is astounding and unjust that he’s not popularly regarded as one of the 21st century’s best authors of weird short fiction. I don’t actually know if he could have/wanted to publish more than two collections over fifteen years, but I kind of feel like maybe if a lot of people and public libraries buy those two collections, he’ll have more space and incentive to write short stories, and/or more publishers will be interested in picking up another collection of his short stories?

Brave New Weird vol. 2 (2024) was a diverse, entertaining selection of stories. Some I’d read, some I hadn’t. A pretty good overview of the mostly small press horror/sci-fi/Weird fiction scene as it stands right this minute.

All Your Friends Are Here, by M. Shaw (2024) is almost the opposite of the Golaski collections, in a way: Golaski frequently deals with themes of nostalgia, the past, cycles that repeat without end, and timelessness or being outside of time. Moreover, most of his stories feel like they’d be immediately comprehensible to a person fifty years ago or fifty years from now, if not even further into the past/future (with, perhaps, a few footnotes of cultural explanation). But Shaw’s stories are, often aggressively, Of The Moment. And that’s not a bad thing, even if it means they may seem completely dated in a few decades. Shaw is interested in speaking directly to their place and time; directly to us. They’re not going to pretend we’re not all online, that we don’t all know (if against our will) what Ready Player One is— the longest piece in the collection, and one of the best, is a suitably pop-culture-reference-laden dunk/riff/spoof on, and rebuttal of, Ready Player One! These stories are angry and clever and sometimes suffused with a kind of exhausted tenderness. There’s clearly a Bizarro influence on some of Shaw’s work, but their writing is more sophisticated and restrained than what I tend to associate with Bizarro fiction proper.

Individual Short Stories (That You Can Read Right Now!)

“EGREGORE” by Samir Sirk Morató (2024) = clubbing, hallucinatory, girl on girl

“The Spindle Of Necessity” by B. Pladek (2024) = trans academic suspects dead author may have been a closeted gay trans man

“A History of the Avodion Through Five Artists” by Eric Horwitz (2024) = Borgesian, arch, Jewish

“Mad Studies” by Cavar (2024) = loneliness, cats, autism…like Failure To Comply, this is by @librarycards

“Alabama Circus Punk” by Thomas Ha (2024) = robots, the nuclear family, disintegrating language

Comics and Graphic Novels!

Tomorrow You Don't Know Me, by Raven Lyn Clemens (2024) is a subtle, moving, and unsentimental graphic novel about being a middle schooler with problems, and how sometimes those problems just kinda...persist no matter what you do or try or want, and no matter if it's fair. Even if you summon a demon to help you! Clemens is really skilled at depicting emotion visually, at communicating both the absurd goofiness and the deep, genuine pain of the outsize negative emotions her characters experience. All of her characters are at least a little wretched, and she also handles them all with great compassion, affection, and understanding. Check out her artwork at @ravenlynclemens please; it's fantastic cartooning even without any detailed narrative.

In Fair Verona, by Val Wise (2024) is a VERY gory, VERY nasty piece of lesbian Gothic fantasy horror-erotica. I love Wise's art. The bodies she draws, regardless of gender and build, are top-tier sexy and beautiful to me, which means he's often able to get me on board* with kinks and scenarios that would usually be too "extreme" for my taste. (*Genteel euphemism for arousal)

A Guest In the House, by E.M Carroll (2023) is an equally nasty and mean, but far, FAR less explicit and bizarre, lesbian Gothic horror story, told with the visual panache and inimitable art style everyone knows and loves Carroll for. It's a worthy successor to their previous material, and if it doesn't necessarily make enormous leaps from their earlier work in its writing, the drawing and coloring has gone from "already really good" to "some of these splash pages will blow your eyes out the back of your skull."

Expiry Date, by Sloane Hong (2024) is another lesbian/queer erotica comic. This one's science fiction, and is FAR more up my usual alley of kinks. Which is to say that the lovers are quite kind/polite with one another (in a lot of ways it reads as a meet-cute), but also one of them is a hired killer who dispassionately agrees to torture the fuck out of the other one David Cronenberg-style.

Once again, all my comic recs are by queer trans people! I think I made a pretty hacky joke last year about gay trans mascs specifically ruling in this field, but based on recent data, you just have to be a marginalized gender and not heterosexual to make amazing comics.

Web Fiction!

The Frenzy wiki is a fan wiki for an imagined TV series, telling the story of both Frenzy, a popular late 2000s ensemble cast drama-adventure-SFF show drawing equally from the likes of Twin Peaks and Supernatural, and how the existence of this show was mysteriously wiped from the face of our reality-- save in the troubled dreams of a select few. I would estimate it takes a couple hours to explore the whole wiki. (2022 or 2023?)

3D Workers Island is the phenomenal, if less ambitious, follow-up to Petscop. (I don't mean it's a sequel; it's just by the same guy and covers similar thematic ground.) Like its predecessor, it's more about dropping tantalizing hints than letting you in on "what's actually going on," and more about giving you a creeped out and vaguely depressed feeling than about scaring or shocking you per se. It's really smart and well-crafted in an understated way, and does a great job replicating early internet content. I would estimate it takes WELL under an hour to get through this story, although you will probably want to immediately go back and look for things you might have missed or not understood properly. (2024)

Martin's Movies is conventional, compared to the other two. It's a ghost story. But it's a very creepy, effective, well-told ghost story rendered through the unusual medium of letterboxd reviews (of course, these become increasingly diary-like and Not About The Film as the story progresses). I would estimate it takes under an hour to read the whole thing, it's like short novelette length. (2024)

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Crack Ship War - Semi Finals!

CoraBelle art by @halacska-fins

Propaganada under the cut.

CoraBelle:

A surprisingly popular ship considering they never interacted, but I see the appeal. Both former Marines, both loving and caring adoptive parents.

Two of the best parents in One Piece, imagine if they both lived and raised a happy little mixed family together.

Best adoptive Dad + Best adoptive Mom. I think they would vibe.

Cora is Bell-mere's malewife failure and she loves him. She enjoys making him flustered and tripping him up. He is just heads over heels in love with her, he loves her so much Just the thought of Bell-mere making a man who's twice her size completely melt for her fills me with joy. They were both apart of the Marines and ended up adopting children while on the job. I'm not exactly sure who died first but learning about your lover's death (if it wasn't covered up) is amazing angst potential. They're watching over their kids in the afterlife together.

Dead serial adopting Marines smokers, what else is there to say?

hi i’m back with my corabelle agenda. these two are a match made in heaven. literally. they have so many narrative parallels, it hurts. they both sacrificed themselves for their adoptive kids’ longevity, they’re both former marines who deserted their positions in order to give these kids a better life. they were both killed by a flintlock, and their last words to their kids were “i love you.” !!! it’s uncanny!! they could have known each other when they were marines, too! bell-mere is just one year older than rosinante. they were from different blues, but there’s a chance they could have run into each other or even trained together for a period of time. bell-mere would be the perfect friend for a young rosinante who’s preoccupied and stressed over his brother. in terms of personality, that’s where we get some of that juicy opposites-attract theory into play. they do have a lot in common tho! some common flaws, (hotheaded, a bit irrational, impulsive), and some common strengths as well, (determined, fearless, values the strength of a smile)! but otherwise, bell-mere isn’t afraid to lay the flirt on and seems a bit more extroverted, where rosinante is a little more reserved and keeps a very small circle of friends, (literally one and it’s sengoku). someone direct like bell-mere could easily draw him out of his shell, and someone down-to-earth and occasionally goofy like rosinante could help keep her grounded.

Both marines with rough lives who seemingly picked up children when they weren’t expecting it. Bellemere would make a great mom to Law and Corazon would make a great dad to Nami and Nojiko. Both of them would bond over the bullshit of the world!!

Art by @gendervapor14

Zeff x Sora:

Sanji should get to have two loving parents.

Let the good Sanji parents raise him (and maybe the rest of Vinsmokes) together.

They're both Sanji's parental figures. Sora, Zeff, and Sanji would've made such a cute family together, and Zeff would've treated Sora the way she deserved to be treated. Just imagine an AU where Sora survived and escaped with Sanji into the East Blue! And then meeting Zeff! It would be adorable.

I just think it would be nice if Sanji had two parents that loved him and that they love each other.

I think sora deserves a husband who's not the worst person on the face of the planet and who loves her and her son unconditionally is all.

Dailyrebranded's au is everything to me. Imagine Sora escaping and raising her children with Best Dad Zeff. They are adorable, the food and meals metaphors are through the roof, and Sora lives!

[natlovesls2]

Right Where You Left Me

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

Warning: no use of y/n, swearing, some angst, all images used are not mine and are from pinterest, possible grammatical errors, mentions of blood once or twice, randomly changes pov, brief mention of mental illness (and the slight misunderstanding it/ disregarding it), I'm American (I think that should be a warning 🤷‍♀️ ), a little rushed, there might be more that I missed, feel free to correct me

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Lando living in the past or literally Taylor Swifts RWYLM

Quick note: italics are flashbacks and normal font is present time

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Lando sat on the bar stool at the restaurant you both had frequented during the relationship, a place of sentimental value. He stared at the table where it had all happened– where your relationship had started and where it had ended. The table next to the window that overlooked the bustling streets, where on that rainy day he had mustered all his courage and asked you to be his girlfriend. The small table that barely fit both of your food and was often uncomfortable to fit at. The table with the mix-match chairs because the original were old and Lando had broken one of the chairs on your first date. The same table that he continued to seek out despite its lack of hope. 

He looked up from his menu and stared at you, admiring how your face filled with concentration and indecision despite frequently eating there. You would sit there staring at the menu for minutes, occasionally asking for his opinion on what to order, asking the waitress for more time when she approached to take your order. It was the same routine every time the two of you went out, he knew you would eventually sigh and order some type of pasta. 

“Okay, okay– I’ll just get the soup of the day,” you said, catching him off guard. He quickly looked up from his own menu, brows furrowed in confusion at your choice of food. 

“Soup?” he asked, tilting his head as he asked, watching as you nodded and looked at the window being hit by a steady stream of rain. 

“It’s cold outside,” you said with a shrug and a soft smile that reminded Lando of all the reasons he had fallen for you. He watched as you smiled at the elderly couple beside you and the way you quickly stood up to help the man when he dropped his silverware. 

“How long have you been married for?” you asked the couple as you placed the silverwave back on their table. The dinner went on with you occasionally making conversation with the elderly couple, smiling widely at them. You would turn to Lando a few times, whispering about wanting to be exactly like them when you both got older. 

“Marry her, don’t let her get away,” the older man said to Lando, patting him on the back as he and his wife left, causing Lando to chuckle.

“He’s not wrong… I shouldn’t let you go,” he said, nervously playing with the food on his plate. There was silence– not an awkward unmanageable silence but the thoughtful, yet comforting type. He glanced up from the table, noticing your small smile and it gave him enough courage to finally ask; “Well, I guess what I’m trying to say… umm– will you be my girlfriend?” he whispered, quickly averting his gaze back to his plate. 

“If you’re not joking right now, I would love to be your girlfriend.”

The couple that approached the table and sat there brought him back to his senses, forcing him to turn away, reminding him that the table and its memories no longer belonged to him. The table had been snatched from him, you had taken it and destroyed every last bit of it. Using its worn wood to make a boat which you had used to sail away from his life– metaphorically of course. 

He supposes he doesn’t know the exact point in which the relationship started to deteriorate. One moment you both seemed to be hopelessly in love with one another, and the next you were distancing yourself from Lando and your shared friendships– playing it off as being busy focused on your work and studies. He could still somehow vividly remember the day you left– still feeling the weight of the night suffocating him.

“Let’s just go and have dinner, if you still feel bad we could leave early,” Lando whispered as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his head against your back. 

The drive to the restaurant was silent– the type of silence that made anyone feel uneasy. The type of silence that would push you to nervously pick at the skin around your nails until it bled. 

“Do you want me to order for you?” Lando asked, looking up from his menu to see you staring down at your hands as you continued to quickly and nervously pick at your skin. “Hey are you okay?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine– you wouldn’t mind ordering for me would you?” you asked him, your voice sounding distant and void of emotion as you finally noticed the small pricks of blood– carelessly wiping it off on your jeans.

“I don’t mind at all… are you sure you’re okay?”

“I think we should break up,” you impulsively said, nervously running your hands along your thighs in order to stop the urge to continue to pick at your skin.

“If this is because of your… issues then we can work through it together. You don't have to struggle alone,” he whispered, desperately attempting to save the relationship, which he thought was stronger than ever. 

“That's not what this is about, Lando–”

“Then what is it? Because I don't see why we have to break up. I love you and I thought you felt the same way.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Then what do you expect me to do? I’m not going to sit back and watch you destroy this because you’re going through a mood” he reaches over the table to grab your hands in his own, as an attempt to calm you. 

“I don’t… I don’t find joy in this anymore– it has nothing to do with my mental health. We aren’t the people we were when we first got together, Lando. I want more than this– I know I want more than this” you responded, moving your hands out of his own.

“And I can’t give you more?”

“I’m sorry” you abruptly stood from your chair, walking out of the restaurant. Lando stayed there for what felt like an eternity, body frozen with shock and slight embarrassment. 

He felt the eyes of their waiter, who you had become rather close with over the years, sympathetic eyes that made contact with his own as he attempted to keep himself together. 

“Haven’t seen you here in a while, you want the usual or something new?” Alex, the waiter who had witnessed the whole relationship, asked. 

“You still remember my order?”

“Of course I do,” Alex let out a small laugh, “You and… you practically lived here before you stopped coming.”

“Yeah, I guess I did. I’ll take the usual then” Lando turned to look at the table once more, envying the happy couple that now claimed the weathered table as their own. 

“I don't mean to overstep but I’ve seen her come with some guy. I think it's time for you to move on– I mean, clearly she has”

Lando nodded, slowly turning away from the table watching as Alex sadly smiled at him before walking towards the kitchen. You had been here with another man– moved on, as Alex had put it. He struggled to look straight ahead, the table in some weird way had a sort of magnetic pull on him. It urged him to take one final look at it– it wanted to taunt him with what ifs and happy painful memories. The sound of cheers finally pushed him to turn towards the table once more. Watching as the couple that sat there promised to marry one another– the table had issued one final blow. A reminder to Lando that you would never want that with him, he would never be able to promise himself to you at that damned table– it now belonged to someone else.

 He supposed it never really belonged to him to begin with. He had been stupid to think that a table would be the glue that would forever hold your relationship together. Of course, he would be lying if he said he didn't still love you or yearn for your affection. If you ever thought you were wrong about your decision that night, he would take you back in an instant. But as he sat there in the suffocatingly happy atmosphere, he couldn't help but think that perhaps the table wasn’t as important as he had thought it to be. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on– to start over.

“Hey,” said a voice from beside him. 

He couldn’t help the smile that came to his face as he turned to look at the source of the soft voice, “Hey.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

[beguilingcorpse]

“i had one rule,” said god, who in this scene is playing the role of the First Ever Disappointed Parent. “one.”

and the no-longer-naked man said, “okay. well. maybe it was a dumb rule to start with.”

and his wife said, “didn’t you know we were going to do this? isn’t that, like, your whole thing?”

god sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose (he was very good at his part). “yeah, but not without outside influence. who told you? was it monkey? goose?”

“snake.”

“snake??”

“yeah, like.” the man put his arms to his sides and wiggled. “sssssss. that guy.”

“no, i - i know who snake is, thank you. he gave you the fruit?”

“no, she gave me the fruit.” the man was talking about his wife, who shot him the First Ever Dirty Look before turning back to god.

“and the snake didn’t give it to me.” she raised her chin and crossed her arms over her newly-clothed chest. “i took it.”

“but why???”

she shrugged. “hungry.”

“but. but i gave you food. i gave you literally all of the food.”

“not all,” said the man, raising one finger at god. “not this food.”

“yeah. hey, yeah! you said that if we ate it, we would die!” 

“okay. yes. i did say that. what’s your point?”

the man looked at god. and then at the woman. and then down at himself. and then back at god.

“okay,” god said. “i do see your point.”

“and the snake said we wouldn’t die. i said, but won’t we die though? and he said, nuh uh.”

“and you believed him?????”

“you lied!!!”

“no! no, i did not lie! i am god! why would i lie!” “i don’t know! god reasons, probably!”

“same reason you made us naked, i guess,” chimed in the man, who was wearing more clothes than the woman, mostly because he was cold. “you know, god shit.”

“don’t say shit to god,” his wife chided quietly, and then louder: “but yeah. you did lie.”

“i did not lie.” god dragged a hand down his face. “but i guess, maybe - MAYBE - i could have been clearer.”

“what do you mean, CLEARER.”

“it was a metaphor. i was talking about eternal life.”

“um, actually,” said the man, and god saw the next tens of thousands of years of that statement’s use, and groaned. “our lives are eternal. we can’t die, silly.”

god hissed in a bad news breath.

“ah, fuck,” said the man.

“dude. that’s still god.”

“no, it’s cool. i mean, that’s definitely still bad, but it’s, like, not the worst thing you’ve done today.” god waved his hand. “it’s a rough sitch. i can make an exception for fuck.”

“cool. fuck.”

“more bad news. that was not snake. that was satan. he’s bad.”

“ah. fuck.”

“and i have to evict you.” god rubbed the back of his neck. “like, both of you. forever.”

“fuck!” said the woman. “where are we supposed to go?”

“i don’t know. around? i made some other stuff out there. you can go live with that i guess, but most of it’s still pretty work in progress.” god shrugged. “you can beta test it for me. i have this guy called scorpion and i want to see what you guys think of him. he sucks. i think you’ll probably like him.”

“but...” the man sniffled. “but can we come back???”

“uh, no.” god thought about it. “i mean, yes. but not you.”

“is this a metaphor again?” asked the woman, with a wrinkled nose. 

“it’s all a metaphor.” god had just invented metaphor. he was really into it back then. “like, this is all a metaphor. and maybe it always will be. i don’t know. i’m improvising.”

“fuck.”

“okay, that was the last one.” god checked his watch. “you should probably go. some of these guys are going to want to kill you now, so like. that might be bad for you. we’ll see. no one’s ever got killed before.”

“i want to get killed,” said the man, like the toddler he never was.

“no. you don’t.” 

“but what did we gain?” asked the woman finally, as she was packing up her things to leave. “from the fruit? what was it for?”

god got a faraway, wise look in his eyes. “knowledge of good and evil,” he said wistfully.

“aw, fuck,” said the woman. “was that just to make us feel bad about breaking your one rule?”

“no,” said god, but he was speaking in metaphor again. “and i said you couldn’t say that anymore.”

“i know. and i knew it was bad.” the woman winked. “and i did it anyways.”

“oh, dip.” the man looked at his wife, and then at god. “is she going to kill me?”

“nah,” said god. “neither of you get murdered.”

“but someone does?”

god thought of the First Ever Murder Victim, and he didn’t even have to say anything for the man and the woman to know it was going to suck. 

“well,” said the man. “okay. bye, i guess. will you be okay out here all by yourself?”

and god, who knew everything, said “i mean, probably?” 

because he knew that this was just the opening scene, and he knew better than anyone that you just cannot account for human stubbornness. 

[pinkarsonist0]

I just got done playing Dead Plate, here are my thoughts and analysis:

It's so interesting how Rody and Vincent perfectly parallel each other, though Vincent's way of mirroring Rody is shown with metaphors and symbolism.

Rody tries again and again to try to win back Manon, he loves her to death more than anything. He job hops in order to get money to impress her, he waits by the phone hoping she'll answer his calls he even has to hear from VINCENT that Manon has ended their relationship when his love for Manon blinded him of their breakup.

But Vincent's parallel to Rody is shown metaphorically, look at his cooking:

He scribbles out reviews from critics that are less than perfect, when Rody reveals he has been letting Vincent's meals for him collect dust in his fridge he looks as if Rody just spit in his face and he is constantly changing the menu.

Vincent said he lost his taste as a child. The dude literally considers his favorite food to be a lemon. A god damn lemon. He has been shown to become VERY upset over mistakes, big or small in his kitchen (Unless it's Rody).

I'm convinced cooking is a metaphor for trying to impress people and feel accomplished but failing every time. I think Vincent comes from a not very good household, and it's manifesting in his adulthood. Vincent has a passion for cooking and food, I believe this had been the case ever since childhood, but when he saw his families apathy towards it, he grew desperate to impress them. To show them that he could do something GREAT with his talent, he works and works to improve, finding any dish that would wow people, yet nothing.

He starts cooking to impress people, he no longer does it for himself, it's too feel accomplished. This goes on until cooking isn't even considered a hobby of Vincent's, he's doing it for others rather than himself. It gets to point he barely enjoys cooking and food in general, so losing his taste is symbolism for Vincent losing out to his hobby to impress others.

He says after losing his taste, he is desperate for a dish. Everything tasted the damn same. It drove him crazy. He wanted something different if we connected that with Vincent trying to impress Rody with his dish, we can also connect that to the theory that Vincent was in love with Rody. If he did like him, I don't think Vincent saw him as an actual potential lover, he saw Rody as another chance to impress the people he couldn't, could Rody remind him of someone that Vincent was desperate to impress? And seeing Rody, he saw a second chance to be a big shot, to prove others wrong and to finally be accomplished?

Vincent literally agrees to date Manon despite being a gay man, just to cook her and feed her to Rody in hopes that he'll love it. Vincent knew Rody LOVES Manon, as long as she's involved he will love whatever it is, so Vincent sees Manon as his key to his goal and kills her. But that doesn't work, and he dies.

They both mirror each other in such interesting ways, I love it.

Rody probably learned his lesson and eventually moved on from Manon, but Vincent didn't see what was the problem, that there was no unique dish that he needed he just needed to rediscover his passion and stop using food to seek validation, yet he died chasing a goal that would never happen.

In conclusion, Dead Plate's theme is trying to impress people and seek validation that we lose ourselves and don't even think about what we want. At times, it may even end us.

[meret118]

I'm very picky about horror movies. It has to be character based, and I usually like more suspense than gore. Well, Sinners is definitely bloody, but it is wonderful!

Fantastic metaphor comparing vampires and racism as parasites feeding off the blood and work of others. Vampires literally drinking blood, and the white plantation owners leeching off black sharecroppers.

This is an excellent article about sharecropping in the south for anyone who was wondering about the plantation money.

By design, sharecropping deprived Black farmers of economic agency or mobility. Although they were no longer legally enslaved, sharecroppers were kept in place by debt. As their income was dependent on both the profits from the sale of the crop and the whims of the landowners, sharecroppers had to find means to sustain themselves during the rest of the year. They were forced to purchase food, seed, clothing and other goods on credit, typically from a plantation “commissary” owned by the landlord.  At the end of the harvest, when revenue from the crop was “settled up,” the sharecroppers’ portion of the profits was calculated against their debts. As a result, sharecroppers often ended the year owing their landlords money. What could not be paid off was carried into the next year, creating a cycle of indebtedness that was often impossible to break.  

The introduction is of the Irish, Choctaw, and West Africans piercing the veil with music, and we see all three groups in the film - Sammie, the Choctaw vampire hunters, and Remmick being Irish.

Even Remmick was not seen as white enough by the english who invaded Ireland, killing people, and trying to wipe out his language. Yet in the movie he forces the new vampires to literally dance to his jig. The oppressed became the oppressor. Remmick wanted Sammie to play his songs, not Sammie's own. Just like when Delta slim says the white people liked the blues they just didn't like the people playing them. ETA: He wanted the power of Sammie's music, but for sings to be aboutRemmick's pain.rather than the black experience - cultural appropriation.

The Chows literally working both sides of the street with a store for black customers, and one for whites.

This scene gave me chills! So beautiful!

The final image of the juke in flames during that song looked like the firekeepers from the intro.

Poor, Mary. Stack loved her enough to send her away so she'd be safe. I'm glad they got a HEA. Sort of. ETA: Like Annie and Smoke with their baby at the end. "Papa's here."

The perverted baptism with Sammie and Remmick, bringing him into the vampire family instead of the church one.

I see hogwood as representing both racism, but also the devil. Smoke kills the rattlesnake, and a snake was the devil in the garden of eden. Hogwood is the grand dragon of the KKK, which is another type of reptile, and Smoke kills him too.

Delta Slim tells Sammie at the juke: "Blues wasn't forced on us like that religion. We need our ritual. Nah. We brought this with us from home. It's magic what we do. It's sacred, and ibig. We need our ritual. We heal our people, and we be free."

Sammie's father wants him to give up the blues, and get free from temptation. But Sammie chooses Delta Slim's version of freedom instead.

The movie deals with racism, and white people trying to keep black people from succeeding. Hollywood's reaction to the movie deal illustrates exactly that:

Industry journalism's direct and seemingly willful dissent from the larger cultural consensus surrounding “Sinners” only helps to keep power in the hands of those who already have it.

Very interesting article.

[a-nicer-picture]

Wrote my thoughts below on Walpurgisnacht Rising's likely themes, as well as my prediction for its plot. Before I forget!

Homura's wish is for Madoka to live. She literally can't accept Madoka's death, but she also wants Madoka to enjoy a full, unencumbered life of her own choosing, ideally filled with worldly pleasures (that Homura can't hope to experience, as both a magical girl and a lonely, frail girl who spent most of her childhood in and out of the hospital). I mention "worldly pleasures" as a likely central theme of Walpurgisnacht Rising based on the food, balloon, and carousel imagery from the trailer (see the similar illusory eternity of worldly pleasures at the co-ed college imagery from Oniisama e).

Homura is terrified of Madoka being controlled, Madoka's life being limited or cut short, and hates herself for having to do the same thing Kyuubey did to protect her from him. Homura is increasingly skittish about her feelings getting in the way of Madoka's freedom throughout Rebellion, and this skittishness contributes to the guilt she feels for going "against Madoka's wishes" during the climax. Homura knows that getting trapped in her labyrinth, and later her reality, is another kind of death for Madoka-- after all, she is forcing Madoka to spend more time in a perpetual illusory childhood, the only time they're "allowed" to be together.

This has to do with old Class S narrative conventions re: choosing an eternal childhood via double suicide with your lesbian love to remain in youthful purity forever, instead of living a full, normal life through heterosexual marriage and motherhood (something that Madoka also metaphorically chooses, by ending all magical girls' lives before they can become "impure" witches, or as Kyuubey describes them, adult magical girls).  As much noise as Homura makes about being a scary evil manipulator in the name of love, she feels horrible for dragging Madoka into a metaphorically drawn out double suicide. Her devil act is an obvious compensation, like most of her other behaviors. Her dolls throw tomatoes at her: she's a bad actress. She doesn't believe herself.

I think Homura feels so guilty about pursuing or actualizing her feelings that she will actively fight against the false Homura (Love, or the being posing as Love) wooing Madoka. I think she's going to have to stop her pink-eyed doppelganger from trying to influence Madoka, at first using other Clara doll doppelgangers toward those ends. I also I think the pink-eyed doppleganger is the Law of Cycles; I also believe the amalgam archer we see in the trailer is another form of the Law of Cycles.

I think this film will be a battle between The Law of Cycles (Madoka's "chosen" destiny), and Homura via her Clara dolls (the false illusion of an eternal childhood). Homura had an enormous influence on each of these outcomes, intentional or not, so each will take the (false) form of Homura, pulling Madoka in two divergent directions. But both are pushing toward similar ends: a living death, never growing up.

The law of cycles may attempt to trick Madoka with an image of worldly temptation, but it aims for the opposite: sacrifice. It pushes for Madoka's continued ego death and detachment from worldly concerns, attempting to force Homura to show her hand and lower the illusion so Madoka can become one with the Law of Cycles again.

To stop the Law of Cycles, Homura may be forced to try romancing Madoka herself as a last resort, throwing aside her own sacrifice to pursue an ideal future of her own making, that she struggles to imagine otherwise. But before she does this, she'll be busy maintaining the illusion. To ease Madoka's burden, she may be tempting other magical girls into reversing their contracts and replacing their magical girl duties with some deal with the devil-- see the de-aged Mami playing with Nagisa on the carousel. This would effectively shift Madoka's prior burden onto Homura, but is that strategy really sustainable? It's only technically related to Homura's original wish.

Ultimately the illusion has to end, so. Uhhh. Who knows how Urobuchi will integrate all these contradictory allegories into a coherent conclusion. I'm looking forward to seeing if Madoka and Homura can actualize a future together, in the real world, as human beings. Wouldn't that be nice.

[heffy1111]

°☆Cherry Unlimited ☆°

Own gg dr.

Debut: 20th March 2024.

Introduction: "Hello, we are Cherry Unlimited."

Concept: lovesick.

↳ Kprofile

Cherry Unlimited.

Cherry Unlimited profile and facts.

Cherry Unlimited ( ) is a ten member K-pop girl group originating in Seoul, South Korea. They are under the company Team Wang Korea. The group consists of ten members; Holli (홀리) Hayami (速水 / 하야미) Vivien (비비안) Lihua (梨花 / 리화) Shūhuì (淑惠) Mali (มะลิ) Pensri (เพ็ญศรี) Su-a (수아) Seo-yeon (서연) Ha-eun (하은).

Fandom name: pips

Official fandom colour: Deep red.

Socials:

Cherry_unlimited_ on insta and tiktok

WWW:https//Cherry_unlimited.//

No personal socials as of yet.

Member profiles:

Holli (홀리):

- born in Cymru Bach in Incheon to Welsh Expat parents.

- biggest idols in the industry are exo, mamamoo and nuest.

- started training at 17

- debuted at 21

- leader of cherry unlimited

- first trainee under the company ever.

- hates snakes (literal and metaphorical)

- helped CEO Jackson wang reorder his files. which led to the discovery of Hayami (速水 / 하야미).

Hayami (速水 / 하야미):

- born in Osaka, Japan.

- lived there until she was 15 when she moved to South Korea to try out for any talent agency possible with her background in ballet.

- gets scouted after two months by Team Wang Korea.

- trains for three years.

- debuts at 18.

- can do anything but focuses her talents on rapping.

- biggest idols are itzy and nct.

- really really hates mint ice cream.

- didn't know jackson wang was an idol in Korea before opening his talent agency. (He still is one in both China and Korea, so that's funny)

Vivien (비비안):

- born in Los Angeles to Vietnamese Parents.

- lived there until she was 18.

- came to Korea to train, and after 11 months, she debuted at 19.

- her idols included super junior (or well, they did until Holli provided a slideshow presentation on their controversies) so now she really likes Kard.

- she is a sub Vocalist and sub dancer.

- despises the sound of people obnoxiously chewing.

- big fan of GOT7. However, she was disappointed not to see her Bias Mark Tuan for the first few months.

Lihua (梨花 / 리화):

- She was born in Guangzhou, Guangdong, China.

- Lihua has cited IU and Taeyeon as her biggest idols.

- Lihua trained for several years under different companies, which included time spent training in China and Korea.

- lihua is a powerhouse Vocalist.

- didn't know jackson wang had member and thought he was a soloist.

Shūhuì (淑惠):

- Shūhuì is known as the main rapper and sub-vocalist of Cherry Unlimited.

- She was born in Taichung, Taiwan.

- Shūhuì has mentioned CL of 2NE1 and Lisa from BLACKPINK as her biggest idols.

- Shūhuì is multilingual, speaking Mandarin, Korean, and English fluently.

- she debuted at 21.

- she really appreciates that Team Wang Korea as a label does not debut people who are too young.

Mali (มะลิ):

- She was born in Bangkok, Thailand.

- Mali has expressed admiration for Lisa from BLACKPINK and Sunmi

- Before debuting in cherry unlimited, Mali was a well-known dance cover artist in Thailand. Her dance covers of popular K-pop songs gained her a significant following, which eventually led to her being scouted and trained in Korea.

- she likes Korean food but maintains that spicy Thai food is better.

Pensri (เพ็ญศรี):

- She was born in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

- Pensri holds the position of lead dancer and sub-vocalist in KISS OF LIFE. She plays a crucial role in enhancing the group's choreography

- Pensri has a passion for traditional Thai dance and often incorporates elements of it into her choreography.

- she likes sticky mango rice

- idol used to be hyuna now she's her number one anti.

Su-a (수아):

- She was born in Seoul, South Korea.

- Su-a looks up to Taeyeon from Girls' Generation and IU

- Su-a has a keen interest in fashion design. She often experiments with styling and fashion in her personal life, and she enjoys incorporating her fashion sense into her stage outfits and public appearances.

- Su-a enjoys Korean comfort foods like bibimbap (mixed rice) and kimchi stew. She also has a fondness for sweet pastries

- debuts at age 20 after two years training.

Seo-yeon (서연):

- She was born in Busan, South Korea.

- Seo-yeon is a skilled calligrapher. She developed an interest in calligraphy during her school years and often uses it as a relaxing hobby

- her got7 bias is yugyeom

- Seo-yeon enjoys Korean barbecue and spicy noodles. She also loves tteokbokki

- Seo-yeon is the main rapper and lead dancer of cherry Unlimited.

- debuts after six months at age 22.

Ha-eun (하은):

- She was born in Gwangju, South Korea.

- Ha-eun admires Ailee and Hwasa.

- Ha-eun has a passion for photography. She often takes her own photos during tours and events

- Ha-eun enjoys Korean comfort foods such as kimchi jjigae (kimchi stew) and sundubu jjigae (soft tofu stew)

- she is an all rounder and can do everything like Holli.

- she debuts at age 23, making her the oldest.

[merakiui]

MERA MERA HAVE YOU HEARD OF JUBYPHONIC'S COVER OF "LOVEIT?"??? the original song by biz is super cool but juby's english lyrics have me brainrotting like no tomorrow bc HELLO???? THIS SONG IS LITERALLY SO JADE LEECH CODED???

im going insane aaaaa i love him so much, especially sk! jade with this song!!!

:O YES YES!!!! That song is so Jade Leech. OTL Juby's lyrics are really amazing and catchy and I love the cover as much as the original song! Both are wonderful!!! >w< I listened to it and immediately thought of sk!Jade, especially the "I'm creeping into your flesh" line. AAAAAA IT'S TOO GOOD OMG...... funnily enough, I almost titled chapter three in DRU "meat-cute" as a reference to Reader coming home to find Jade in her apartment, but I wanted that chapter to focus more so on her interactions with Azul (hence the title "a warm, stifling sea"). But one of the future chapters will be titled "meat-cute" because I'm much too attached to the word play. (˘ ˘ ˘)

I adore how "loveit" (which can also sound like love-eat) uses cannibalism as a metaphor for toxic/abusive relationships. We all need food to survive, and so when you're stuck in an abusive relationship the world is so warped and everything you know is so twisted; you rely on the abuser because it's been engrained that without them you're nothing, you can't survive, etc. In a way, they are your food and sustenance. I think "loveit" portrays the horror of it very well: how with cannibalism you're losing parts of yourself (they're being devoured), and with abuse you're losing the ability to do things with those parts (you can't use your mouth to speak out, you can't use your legs to just walk away, you can't even use your eyes to cry sometimes).

Aaaaa I just love biz's music!!! It's so clever, and I like how they portray the dynamics of unhealthy relationships in their songs. There is also love eat -Dear Maia- (connected to "loveit") and recently they released another song: love cat! Both are very good!!! :D

Along with English covers, have you heard rachie's cover of "i am addicted"? It's so HBE!Azul vibes... T_T it brings back the pain tenfold... uuuwaaa,,, >_<

[bengiyo]

Only Friends Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Top reminded us what his name was. Mew is now losing, and embarrassed himself by trying to trade sex for sobriety. Boston embarrassed himself in the elevator and got destroyed by Top. Nick also clowned himself by trying to blackmail Top into staying away from Boston. Ray crossed a line and kissed a sleeping Mew and got told off for it. Ray and Sand are now having boyfriend moments, but Ray is still into Mew and Sand is not paying enough attention.

Episode 5: The Extra

He got in bed in his street clothes!?!

I love Jennie in every role. She is not letting any homophobes fuck around in her bar.

Ahh. I like the framing that Ray is disruptive for Sand's time management.

I was ready for them to do it in the kitchen. Nick, just pretend you aren't here.

Don't like that Ray doesn't even eat.

Now, Nick, you really think upping your physique is going to make Boston see you differently?

Bestie is unimpressed with the durability of Mew's glasses.

Khaotung's "The ghetto" face is sending me every time.

This is the second time he's tried to hook up with Sand today.

I actually agree that glasses work well on Book, but I suspect Top is playing with him.

Not this fitness regimen working on Boston!

Damn, did Top get into Boston's head? Is he actually moving in the direction of boyfriends with Nick?

Love the framing of Top and Mew literally looking down on Boston and Nick in the pool.

"They have concerts in parking lots?.... The ghetto. White refrigerators."

Blind dining? Hell no.

Mew can't go anywhere without someone being overly familiar with Top.

Did Top tell Mew to use the Force to eat this food?

Oh, Mew. I don't think you know this man as well as you think you do. I really like the blind dining as a metaphor for this.

Ray really thinks this is a game they're playing with the debt collectors, and now he's scared because they're at a strip club for a surprise birthday party.

Third time today Ray has teased for sex.

Interesting. Mew called Boston about wanting to give it up for Top, admitting that he thinks Top will get bored.

Bestie: "Only a bitch who'd never had dick would fall for an answer like that." He said, "I didn't ask about you. I asked about me."

Why did they do it on this couch and not the bed?

Sand's horrified reaction to learning about Ray's mom was excellent from First.

Now both Ray and Boston are downplaying their relationships with Sand and Nick.

We were all having a good time with all the dates this episode before Boston blew it up to provoke Ray about Mew and throw a barrier between Sand and Ray.

Oof, I guess it's over.

It's just Sand by himself in the credits this week.

All the rich boys ruined the date episode with their nonsense. Top gave a nonspecific answer about why he likes Mew while getting hit on all day. Ray was teasing for sex nonstop and then lost his shit over the news that Mew is with Top. Boston ruined a party he asked for just to needle his friend. Everyone had some really cute moments, and now look at us. I also can't believe a wardrobe change and some exercise did it for Boston. It's fascinating that Nick and Boston probably had the most honest and open conversation this week about their dynamic.

[semper-legens]

119. House of Hunger, by Alexis Henderson

Owned: No, library Page count: 288 My summary: The House of Hunger is looking for bloodmaids; young women who can bleed for the satisfaction of the lords and ladies of the Northern aristocracy. In poverty and desperate, Marion sees the House of Hunger as her ticket out - the pension she would receive will see her set for life. But as she draws closer to Lisavet, the lady of the House, she finds herself in a dilemma. Is she falling for Lisavet? What secrets is her lady hiding? Marion needs to find out - and fast. My rating: 4/5

Well, this was an interesting one. I read The Year of the Witching a while ago and found it intriguing; odd and gothic and brutal and bloody all in good measure. So when I saw this on the shelves, it piqued my interest. From the same author, but with a far more Victorian, vampiric bent - the rich supping on the blood of the poor as a cure for all their ills. Human blood, in this world, is said to be something of a cure-all, and so servants are emplyed to bleed. It's a tightly regulated profession, and one the poor see as barely different to sex work. But Marion, alone in the world after she accidentally kills her abusive brother Raul, has her posting as her one potential ticket out of poverty and misery. Intriguing premise - so how did the book fare?

Marion is a very strong protagonist, in the way that such protagonists often are. She's plucky, she's spunky, she never quite fits in the established social order of the day. But the thing about Marion is that she has this dark edge running beneath her. Yes, she tries to be kind and tries to help her fellow bloodmaids, but at the same time this is a woman who abandoned her previous life after an accidental murder. Sure, she had good reasons to be standing up to her brother, but she can't deny the fact that she killed him, her only familial link left in the world. And that darker streak is what helps attract her to Lisavet, similarly a murderer, though Lisavet's means are far less justifiable. They make for a strangely symbiotic pair, too alike to ignore each other yet too different to truly be happy with one another. Marion's attachment to Lisavet, and that attachment breaking down when she discovers Lisavet's secret Bluebeard-style, makes for an interesting push and pull throughout the book - at certain points, you're almost rooting for Marion and Lisavet to get together, even suspecting that Lisavet has some skeletons in her closet! It's interesting writing, and writing that is really engaging to read.

Bloodmaids are the central idea of the book, the young women (and they must be young) who bleed themselves for their employers, who are thought of poorly by their contemporaries. We see a little of how this social order is meant to work in Lisavet's household. She has five bloodmaids, all ranked; Marion starts at the lowest rank of Fifth Bloodmaid. She is given lessons in etiquette and comportment and history, to help her to fit into the elite social world of the North. But the aristocrats are a dangerous, debauched lot, who treat dinner parties like orgies and play deadly games with one another. Marion, thrust into this world, needs to think on her feet to stay ahead. And that's not even mentioning the daily bleeding - bloodmaids are fed rich foods and bled every morning, trying to make the sweetest blood for their employers, so that they might enjoy the taste of their lives.

So, the metaphor is very obvious here, right? Rich people taking poor people into their homes on an indenture, promising them riches in return for their literal blood. I mean, even in the text we see the comparison between Marion's life as a scullery maid in Prane and her life as a bloodmaid in the North - she's just as beholden to the whims of her mistress in both professions, though the bloodmaid job is made somewhat more pleasant by her interest in Lisavet. The countess wants to find a match, find a peer, find someone at her level, but when Marion finds out the awful truth, she wastes no time in discarding her like yesterday's trash. Those on top use up the lives of those at the bottom, and think nothing of it even when the young women are bleeding their last over their spotless tile. It's a delicious metaphor and never quite spelled out in so many words; all the more intriguing for it. I was delighted with this book, and I'd love to see more of Henderson's work if it crosses my path!

Next, teenagers are evaluated for their flaws so they can find a match.

[askaniritual]

wowowow 39 episodes in 6 days is a lot lol im sure im gonna be gnawing on this like a chicken bone for like. a month at least but wow!!!!!

a lot of my initial reads on things were validated in these last 10 episodes which was very gratifying. i love a show that just straight up tells me my understanding of symbolism is correct lol. anyway heres my notes

the things that are left unsaid

there's so much allusion and talking around things in this show. it becomes very clear in these later episodes that not being able to address a problem directly is a tool that those in power use to maintain that power. people who can't discuss the abuse they're experiencing can't put a stop to it and all that

anthy and the shaved ice 

i hadn't really thought about the shaved ice until this point but like. food that is meant to dissolve. colorless and flavorless except for the syrup that is placed on top of it. many have called it the rose bride of food

corrupted love

i feel like there are so many examples in this show of love (or the perception of love within patriarchal society) making somebody the worst version of themselves. people do horrible things for love, they hurt themselves and others and they justify it by saying it's because they care about somebody else. the apothesis of this is anthy's devotion (and the world's reaction to it) which created akio from dios

to love is to suffer, to suffer is to love, and suffering is eternal

related to the above and also related to the ongoing theme of eternity in the show. if there is one constant in the world, it is anthy's suffering, and her suffering is a manifestation of love. what's more real, love or suffering? can the two be separated? does love without pain exist??? maybe outside the bounds of akio's world

saionji and touga’s terrible horrible no good very bad sex life

i don't want to make light of this too much because obviously the nature of saionji and touga's relationship in the back half of the show is highly influenced by akio who as we all know is more than capable of taking innocence and warping it into something painful. that being said i do think the fact that they started fucking (for the plot!) and neither of them seemed very into it was kind of funny conceptually. this leads into my second point

metaphorical sex that is more real than the actual sex

this deserves like a way longer post but there's both metaphorical and literal sex in the show. there's also a strong emphasis on the dichotomy between the real and the illusory. a lot of the sex is metaphorical in the sense that there is nothing happening on camera that reads specifically as sex but "real" in the sense that it exists in relationship to emotions that predate or exist outside of akio's influence

manufactured consent 

again this really needs its own post but the show up to the last 10 episodes spent a lot of time playing with this idea of like. the difference between wanting something and believing you should want something, and the ways that those with power impose their reality on those with less power. this gets made extremely explicit when akio starts insisting that anthy chose her position as the rose bride, and that this is somehow a role she wants and enjoys. much to consider!

[merryfortune]

a white milk moustache.

Written for the Winter Holiday Bingo

Prompts provided by @sweetspicybingo

Prompt: Milk & Cookies

Title: 

Ship: Takumi/Yui

Fandom: Delicious Party Pretty Cure

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,557

Warnings: None

Tags: Fluff, Crushes, Pining, Pre-Canon, Food as a Metaphor for Love

   Takumi did not pride himself on being on time.

   In the metaphorical sense. Not a literal one.

   Literally, he was quite the punctual young man. However, metaphorically, he was very rarely at the right place at the right time. He was either too soon - hyper prepared for a scenario which never comes to fruition - or too late - hyper prepared for a scenario which never came to fruition. He was very good at sticking his foot in his mouth in his own unique way of being socially awkward.

   Surprisingly, this was not one of these times.

   “Good timing, Takumi-kun, I just got these cookies out of the oven. Want to eat them with me?” Yui asked, beaming. She looked adorable with a smile which was ear to ear. 

   The whole of her house smelled delicious. It always did, of course. Her family’s restaurant was award winning and very successful. However, usually, it smelt delicious with savoury smells. Not sweet ones, like perfectly cooked vanilla and a hint of chocolate.

   “I’d like that.” Takumi replied.

   He’d only come around to Yui’s place on a whim. He was already on top of his homework, there was nothing good to watch on television and it was pretty boring to sit around all day staring at the wall. At least doing that last thing with Yui would be preferable to doing it all by himself.

   “Then come and sit down. I’ll get us some plates.” Yui said.

   She grabbed Takumi’s hand and pulled him past the threshold of where her house started and where her family’s restaurant stopped. Her fingers wrapped around his wrist and she darted off into the back room where the sun room was. She was way too fast for Takumi, especially on slick lacquered floors in just her socks but despite being loud and boisterous as she was, Yui never slipped and never took Takumi down with her.

   She laughed as she dumped him on the edge of the sun room and it was there, so close to the open plan kitchen, where the smell of cookies was at its strongest and most delectable. Takumi got comfortable at the low table with a pillow underneath him and looked out to the garden.

   It really was the perfect day to bake cookies, no wonder the idea had dawned on Yui. It was a classic winter’s day. It was brisk and cold outside, trees bent and shook with a frigid wind that blew and the courtyard was glazed with a near permanent frost. Takumi wouldn’t be surprised if it started to snow later, it wasn’t on the forecast but looking out into Yui’s backyard, and what he could see of his own, it felt like it would. The clouds were the right colour and the sky was almost indigo.

   “So how’s your day been?” Yui asked.

   “Yeah, good, kinda boring.” Takumi replied.

   “Mm, same, not much you can do on a day like this except stay inside and make your own fun.” Yui mused. “I would much rather be out and about playing soccer or something but it's way too cold!”

   Takumi half laughed to himself. The way Yui had enunciated her complaint with the cold was just oddly funny to him. He heard the clatter of plates in the drawer and that caught his attention. He twisted around at his waist to look over his shoulder. Not only was Yui getting them both little saucer plates to put the cookies on, she was also arranging some empty glasses to go with them.

   Upon noticing that Takumi was staring, Yui asked, “Do you want any milk to go with them?”

   “Yeah, sure.” Takumi shrugged.

   “Cool, and do you want it warmed up?” Yui asked.

   Takumi screwed up his face, “I’m not a little kid.” he grumbled.

   “I wasn’t saying you were? I just think it’d go nice.” Yui pouted. Her cheek puffed out to the side.

   “No thank you then.” Takumi huffed. He hadn’t meant to offend Yui but it seemed like he had.

   “Okay then I’ll only warm enough for me.” Yui said.

   “Good for you.” Takumi said.

   Yui kept fluffing around in the kitchen and the conversation fell silent. Takumi waited at the low table and drummed his fingers on its surface. He kept stealing glances at her however. She just looked so cute in her element. Even when she was all rugged up in her winter casual wear.

   Christmas and New Year were right around the corner. It was the thick of winter and then the calendar year was going to change a week after one of the most romantic days of the year. It was no Valentine’s Day but… It was close enough, right, being a couple’s holiday.

   Takumi kept a sigh to himself. He felt thankful enough to spend any time during winter break with Yui before they moved into the second year of middle school. He’d had a crush on her for as long as he could remember and maybe someone with more bravado than he would have confessed by now but Takumi just wanted to wait for the right time. When he was certain of himself and what he would say and how Yui would react. They were the best of friends, he didn’t want to ruin that by making it a thing. 

   Still, his heart skipped a beat as Yui served him up some butter cookies with cold milk. 

   “Here you go.” she said, breaking him out of his reverie.

   “Thanks.” Takumi replied.

   “I hope you enjoy,” Yui said as she then sat down with him, “I baked them with love.” 

   Takumi blushed. Seriously… How could Yui say these things?! She laughed it off but even so, how dense and oblivious she could be. She was too sweet and forthright for her own good at times, her genuine earnest both her biggest virtue and her biggest flaw. It’s exactly what Takumi liked about her.

   “And a pinch of salt. It brings out the sweetness.” Yui said.

   “Yeah, I’ve heard that before somewhere, maybe from your grandmother…” Takumi said.

   “Yeah, maybe. Or me. Quoting my grandmother.” Yui said.

   She laughed awkwardly. It was still a touch raw but it was obvious to Takumi that giving Yui the space to talk about her grandmother and remember her, and more importantly cherish her, helped. He picked up his glass of milk, his fingertips were frozen by how chilled it was.

   “Cheers.” he said.

   “Cheers.” Yui agreed.

   She didn’t leave him hanging for long before clinking her own glass of milk - warmed - against his. They held that pose for a moment and shared a sustained smile. Then, they both tucked in.

   “Aah, they’re so good.” Yui praised herself and it was well deserved.

   Objectively, Yui was a kitchen goddess and to prove it, these cookies were nothing less than sublime. The texture was perfect: buttery, crumbly, yet at the same time melt in your mouth soft. They had just a hint of cocoa taste in the checkerboard pattern of vanilla and chocolate. Speaking of, the design and execution were so good, it really demonstrated how precise and steady her hand was. Best of all, they tasted better than how they looked.

   They paired perfectly with the milk, but of course, milk and cookies was a classic combination.

   “Thanks for sharing.” Takumi said.

   He took a sip of milk and enjoyed the coldness. The sun room was well air conditioned and so was comfortably warm, but looking out to the backyard and seeing the state of mid-winter, it felt right somehow. He glanced at Yui and sure enough, she was guzzling down her warmed milk.

   When she finished, she smacked her lips together and sighed contentedly, “Thank you for sharing your company, it made it even yummier.” Yui said.

   Takumi smiled a small smile. He glanced at Yui and his eyes widened. He laughed.

   “You have something on your face.” he said.

   She blinked, “huh? I do?”

   “Yup, right here.” Takumi said.

   He traced along his upper lip to show Yui exactly where she had something on her face: a white milk moustache.

   “Oh, oops.” she laughed embarrassedly upon realising it.

   She moved her lips around and her lips twitched. She could feel it now and it clearly bothered her.

   “Here, let me.” Takumi said.

   He plucked a serviette from a dispenser in the middle of the table. He leaned across it and Yui stilled herself for him. Meanwhile, his own heart raced as he got close - too close? - to her and dabbed along her upper lip. He was so close, he could steal a kiss if he wasn’t careful. In the meantime, he was gentle as he cleaned her up.

   “Thanks, Takumi-kun.” Yui said. “I can always depend on you.”

   “You're welcome.” Takumi replied as he scrubbed the last of Yui’s milk moustache off her face.

   Now would be a good time, some part of him knew, but not yet. He wasn’t ready, even though his heart swelled as he scrunched up the serviette now that it had been used. He and Yui began to chat some more, ate some more cookies, and Takumi began to wonder if next year might be when he would be neither too soon nor too late to confess his feelings. That, just like right now, he would have good timing.

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley--May 2024

hi welcome to mike's media medley where i talk about movies and games i experienced for the very first time this month yippeeeeee

feel free to give me recommendations for things i should watch or play! this month i did actually watch something recommended to me! here r the things i watched this month:

2024 movie/show releases: The Fall Guy, I Saw the TV Glow, Challengers

non-2024 movie/show releases: X (2022, recommended to me!) Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

games: : Little Kitty, Big City (2024), Hauntii (2024), Hades 2 (2024), Birth (2023), A Way Out (2018)

here are my thoughts on all of them, in alphabetical order: movies/shows first, then games, spoilers for most.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

so i saw a trailer for this movie a while ago, where after a whole town's private things get leaked online they all go crazy and start killing each other and a bunch of teen girls are at the forefront being victimized by them and also potentially victimizing other people so i saw that Bodies Bodies Bodies was on netflix and decided hell yeah let's watch that and i kept waiting for the thing to happen

turns out that trailer was for a completely different movie but anyways

Bodies Bodies Bodies was. pretty fun i think! i was NOT very confident it would be good for the first five minutes because they played some godawful song at the beginning that went smth like 'i'm daddy as fuck' and i turned to look at my friend that i was watching it with and went oh this movie might be bad

luckily it got better. i really enjoyed the lighting choices i.e. having a lot of the lighting come from characters' phones or glowsticks, and while i definitely got the themes of paranoia when the ending twist was revealed it made me look back at the movie in a whole different light and appreciate it more.

i think the movie is at its best when its satirizing of gen z takes the forefront ("your parents are UPPER. MIDDLE. CLASS" rachel sennott you are so fucking funny) but i think the rest was a good time. i might watch it again. it's not like the bestest movie ever but it's fun with friends

70/100

Challengers (2024)

it wasn't *bad*, but i don't think i enjoyed it as much as other people did

i do think the messy relationship dynamics are probably the strongest thing it has going for it, and choosing to use tennis to channel subtext (and sometimes, Just Text) was interesting. the fucking. tennis POV shots went insane and there were some directing choices i liked. personally a big fan of whenever the movie pulls a wide shot of the audience and everyone else is moving their heads in sync trying to track the ball but zendaya just Kubrick Stares ahead

other than that. idk i just didn't really like any of the characters nor have any sort of emotional investment in them. and i do think some of that was the point. zendaya's character in particular being so obsessed with tennis; it's such a core part of her identity, and you can just feel the way she resents her husband. but then her husband sucks too and so does their ex bf and when the movie hinges on the outcome of the tennis match (both literal and metaphorical between the characters) and i don't give a shit about any of them and want them all to die then i think the movie just doesn't work the way it should because i Do Not Care

anyways the score was good but also very funny. two characters will just be staring at each other talking quietly and the score is going the fuck off

my final most controversial opinion is i think this movie got so much hype because it made u guys horny. honestly good for u. still didn't care for it tho. didn't *hate* it but i would probably not watch it again it was just Perfectly Fine. middling. Mid, the kids might even say

50/100

The Fall Guy (2024)

finally some good fucking food

honestly it kind of hurts my soul this didn't do well at the box office. as someone who wants to go into movies i really loved the 'we're making a movie' part of it, the frantic nature of trying to shoot a project where things just keep going wrong, the coordination and effort required to pull off stunts and effects like pyrotechnics or hell even just filming a car chase. mwah

it's also pretty funny. winston duke is in there and he's so fucking good. romance was Fine but i think it was really carried by a lot of the movie's funniest scenes involving the tension between Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt.

between this and bullet train i just like the way David Leitch directs action. i don't normally rewatch action movies like this but i do think i'll watch it again in the future because you can feel a lot of the passion for the craft in here and that's what excites me the most about it

80/100

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

GO WATCH I SAW THE TV GLOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

mane. i think this movie changed my life unironically. idk i have so much to say but i dont want to spoil anything on the off chance someone reads this and wants to see it PLEASE go see it. two friends who were obsessed with a horror TV show in the 90s grow up and consider the possibility that it was More than that and there's so much about just. time moving too fast, feeling empty inside, gutted, latching onto this thing in their childhoods so hard as a form of escapism, things are not supposed to be this way and it really hits hard.

the way the movie looks is gorgeous, the color grading lighting and cinematography just give it this offbeat feeling. one scene in this movie is scarier than literally all of the horror movies i have seen this year.

my only complaint is the delivery by both main actors. it was definitely intentional but sometimes it just...drags. especially when you don't realize at first that it *is* intentional. it just feels like bad actors reading off a teleprompter at times. (ominous foreshadowing)

anyways go watch it neow

90/100

X (2022)

(sexual assault mention)

i didn't really like this movie tbh so i don't have a lot to say about it. i found mia goth's accent to be VERY distracting. i'm from texas and i do know quite a few older people who speak with a typical southern accent but hers was so exaggerated it was hard to take any part of the movie seriously. i knew what i was getting into before watching so i wasn't triggered necessarily by any of the movie's content but i still didn't enjoy it much. probably fun if you like slashers more than i do and don't mind seeing a naked grandma molesting multiple people

i think it was competently made though, so idk 30/100?

games:

A Way Out (2018)

was looking for a co-op game to play with my brother while he's in college so we settled on this one. it was like. Fine. i don't remember much that happens in it but the cooperative stuff was implemented well enough

i think the most interesting thing that happened the whole time was when we finally escaped prison and got to a bridge with cops on it. i said 'we should just get in a car and run the cops over'. my brother said we should find a way to move under the bridge. then like 10 seconds later our respective characters made our exact suggestions in-game and we both burst out laughing

Birth (2023)

Birth is a point and click puzzle/hidden object game and I enjoyed it quite a bit! it has a unique and weird, slightly off-putting aesthetic but that's really a lot of its charm. i love the weird crunchy/clinking sound effects everything has. sounds like. bones idk

i like the themes of the game but it doesn't really have a narrative, just some nice concepts/ideas to sit with. none of the puzzles were frustratingly hard and i only ever had to google puzzle solutions like twice (and one of those times it was just because i somehow overlooked the 'interactive' part of the puzzle, i'm sure if i saw it sooner i would've figured it out without needing to look it up). cute little game, definitely give it a shot.

Hades 2 (2024)

do i really have to say anything its hades fucking 2

you can pet a FROG. goty

Hauntii (2024)

hauntii is a twin stick shooter about haunting objects in your environment to progress through mostly linear paths and it looks and sounds beautiful. the art reminds me of houseki no kuni a lot and i was always impressed by it

impressed enough that i played it a couple hours despite not finding the actual gameplay particularly compelling. i think it has a sense of humor to it and visually its a treat but at some point i just got bored and set it down. i have an extremely low tolerance for boredom in video games though, some of you might find this to be a really chill experience

Little Kitty, Big City (2024)

untitled goose game but instead of a goose terrorizing a small british village you are a cat terrorizing a large japanese city

this game was cute! first thing i'm gonna say is the controls were frustrating sometimes and the camera got kinda wonky with certain actions, the platforming elements were also kinda wack sometimes BUT i could overlook most of that because of how charming the rest of it was

i met most of the other animal characters and thought they were cute too. big fan of the magician chameleon. tasks like knocking over jars just to be a menace, earning emotes that let u make a disgusted face, dedicated meow button...im a cat im a kitty cat and it was fun yippeeeeeee

i finished the game in about...6 hours? as in i climbed back to my apartment. it gave me the option to continue my game to complete everything but i was fine with all the content i'd done so far. i didn't 100% it but i'd collected a lot of hats and done a majority of the side quests. cute small game.

HOWEVER. very expensive for what it entails. 15 dollars max for it sounds good but this thing is going for 25 dollar. i'd wait for it to go on sale.

[allthecreepsofthecosmos]

Two Tokyo Tgirls Talk: Cinematic Inspirations

Last time, Sadie and I talked about the music that inspired our visual novel, All the Creeps of the Cosmos! Today, we decided to talk a little bit about some of the films that inspired it. The C is for me, Crystal, and the S is for her, Sadie. Here's...

Two Tokyo Tgirls Talk: Cinematic Inspirations

C: Wanna talk movies?

S: Any movie in mind?

C: How about Carnival of Souls?

S: I think it's a big movie for both of us and the game.

C: Okay, you start then.

S: I think there's a lot to love about the movie, but just how it was made is inspiring. You got this guy, Herk Harvey, toiling away making industrial films, but he has the heart of a poet and artist. But when you're from the middle of nowhere, especially back then, being an artist wasn't worth shit. You gotta put food on the table. But he had this one chance and he made a truly beautiful film with no money or resources. And it's about this girl who has all this talent, and intelligence, and individuality, but her only outlet is playing organ in church and hanging out with a scumbag neighbour. That she was dead the whole time takes on a deeper meaning than just a horror movie twist.

C: It's a shame that Herk Harvey never got to make another feature like this, because he was so obviously talented. Carnival of Souls has atmosphere like nothing else out there. That soundtrack is quite literally haunting! It's a film that means a lot to me, that speaks to me on such a personal level. It's probably because I'm queer, but I find it difficult not to read this film in a queer way! It's the mood, it's the sense of abject isolation that's so present in the film, the feeling of being invisible that does it.

S: It's definitely a movie that has a powerful theme of what it feels like to be an outsider, to be both present and not present.

C: That's exactly it! The scenes that stand out to me the most are the ones where nobody can see or hear her anymore. You remember those? It's shot in complete daylight and it's so unsettling!

S: Right, and she's panicking, and everyone is going about a normal day. Such a relatable feeling.

C: It is! That's just how it feels to be queer sometimes, everyone ignoring or uncaring about your distress.

S: And the doctor that finds her when she's visible again just dismisses her worries and says she's hysteric, and she just has to learn to be normal. The scene where she goes on a date with her creepy neighbor too, that's when I think she realizes she's dead. How's that for a metaphor?

C: That scene in particular is so uncomfortable to watch. She just wants to be with SOMEONE because she's so frightened of the ghouls she's been seeing. So she goes out with that sleaze, and she's terrified!

S: It feels like she's desperately trying to be normal. The horrors of compulsive heterosexuality.

C: Exactly, she's forcing herself to conform, and it's just killing her. I've known guys like that creep in the movie, and it's about as unpleasant and uncomfortable as you can expect!

S: I think everyone knows someone like that. Even with the ending, it doesn't feel like death is horror, but escape almost. You can join the other ghouls in the cool carnival! No more shitty neighbour, landlady, or boss. It’s sad, but the horror I guess is "This feels like the only escape". This is not even touching on how visually beautiful the movie is.

C: The ghouls in particular are a standout of the visuals. The shot of the head ghoul under the water opening his eyes is still startling to look at!

S: Or when she's driving at night and sees him out of the side window! It's still scary to me.

C: When they finally catch her, smiling and laughing, there's nothing left there, her footprints in the sand simply stop. She doesn't exist in the world of the priest, the neighbor, the landlady anymore! These feelings, these impressions, were a big influence on Cosmos itself for me.

S: Same here, yeag. I really want to hammer certain feelings of isolation into certain Past characters.

C: When it comes to Cosmos, that feeling of isolation, that feeling of forcing yourself to conform, plays a huge part in the story of Side Future. You've seen a bit of the isolating aspect in Chapter 1. You'll see a bit of the latter aspect in some chapters that aren't in the demo.

S: Films like Carnival of Souls really drive my cinephilia, all these gems and masterworks hidden away at the margins.

C: And because it's such a big influence on me... I did have to weave the movie itself in the game somehow. That chapter should be included when we get into early access!

S: Yeag, we have a lot of movies in Cosmos. Some of our public domain faves. One of the themes I'm interested in exploring in the Side Past that people will see is how art and media and fiction shape people's outlook, and how people find meaning in fiction. Cinema being probably the most important art for me.

C: It's one of our great loves, outside of each other!

S: Hehe, that's right!

C: What's another movie that influenced us?

S: Gosh, there's so many! Maybe we can talk about Obayashi’s House.

S: I feel like House has become a canonical cult movie, but it's also one of the best movies ever. And it too often dismissed as "WTF!?", When its a much deeper, interesting, and thought out film. For one, it's an anti-fascist film, about how the older generation is still carrying around the trauma of the war that they will impose upon the young. It's a film about how adults are at best clueless, and at worst predators. And it's a celebration of film as a medium, its possibilities, its history, and its artifice.

C: Its beautiful, beautiful artifice.

S: Basically the horror of the film is lingering fascism and war trauma, and the kids are too disconnected from the past to combat it. It’s a joyous, funny, sad, serious, goofy stew.

C: Somehow people really, really miss the war trauma aspect of the film, even though they go out of the way to say it when they talk about the Aunt's backstory!

S: The way one of the girls sees the mushroom cloud in the flashback and says "just like cotton candy!" That's powerful. Werner Herzog when he remade Nosferatu said something about feeling like the war created a gulf of a generation and he wanted to reach across it. I think Obayashi is doing something similar by using silent film techniques and outdated effects. And the young girls in the movie I think in a way don't have a past to look back on that feels real.

S: WWII is something they don't really understand, that is really disconnected like an old film. But it's alive and it will hurt you. They see old soldiers in a propaganda newsreel and say how they were more handsome, but they just got sent to die and leave the ones at home to try and make sense of things.

C: And it's because they don't understand the past, because they're so ill equipped to fight back against it, that it ultimately consumes them, isn't it? Ultimately in intentionally absurd and visually inventive ways, but nonetheless!

S: Yes, because their parents and other adults just want to bury that past. My proof that this is all intentional is the rest of Obayashi's filmography. Like Labyrinth of Cinema where he just shouts these themes at full volume! But yeag, it's also an extremely fun movie where wild things are constantly happening. It's a multilevel experience.

C: Those same themes of the past devouring the future I think are a major inspiration to Cosmos as a project, in both Side Past and Side Future, I'd say.

S: Hell, Side Past is also kinda about the trauma WWII effects on the post war period.

C: Side Future takes place in a world where the surface has become a nightmare of forced conformity, the kind of place that you see modern conservatives striving to make.

C: Exactly! House is vibrant and expressive and beautiful and complex. The Creeps ultimately want a society of simplicity, which means draining the beauty and the color from things. Making things uniform, eliminating diversity; that's what our antagonists want, and that's what our protagonists fight against. As for how the world gets to the point it does in Side Future, when you play through Side Past you'll see the beginnings of that!

That's it for our film inspirations... for now! There's honestly way more we want to talk about, but we'll save it for another time. In the meantime, if you haven't tried out the demo, you can give it a go here!

Next time, we'll talk about the last member of the demo's main cast, Starlight! Look forward to it!

Crystal