#and like. that's basic. that's your whole shtick guys.

[mademoisellesarcasme]

look if you have a browser version and it doesn't work at all on mobile browser even when I set it to "desktop version" and I send you a help request letting you know that your mobile browser version lacks some basic functionality and you ask me if I've tried the app

i have but i don't want to download an app if i'm doing this mobile once or twice a year at MOST so can you please. fix the mobile browser functionality. please.

[wakeup01]

The Premium Member

You’ve grown tired of all the familiar fucks and basic twinks on the dating app you normally use, and you’re really in the mood for a new hole to abuse. After searching your phone online you come across an app you’ve never seen before and quickly go to download it.

Upon startup it immediately bombards you with an ad to join their ‘premium service’, no thanks, why would you pay to fuck someone. You close the pop-up without even reading what the ‘benfits’ are. You set up an account and enter all your details into the profile, although some of the required information is slightly abnormal. Intelligence level? You’re assigned an profile ID number, just a string of random figures.

There’s an option at the bottom, ‘premium member matches allowed’. Well why not? If they wanna pay like idiots that’s fine by you. After confirming you are treated to pages and pages of terms of service. Yeah, nobody reads this and you quickly agree without a second thought.

Only a minute passes before ‘premium member match’ flashes up on screen. A profile is pulled up, ‘ScallyDom’ is the username, 22 years old. What the hell? You’re here to fuck an easy hole, why would you be interested in a dom, geez.

The picture on display is of some smug arsehole with his middle finger pointed at the camera, wow, people go for this shtick? You attempt to close the profile but your phone is completely unresponsive. The ‘agree match’ button lights up and all of a sudden your phone seems to start acting on it’s own volition. A message appears on screen:

ScallyDom: ‘You look like a good fuck.’

‘With some obvious changes, fancy boy.’

‘Can’t believe you willingly agreed to match to premium members, moron.’

Yeah, arsehole was right. You try but you can’t even message back. Instead the screen scrolls down without your input, almost like, well almost like he has control of…. Fuck.

You immediately go to turn your phone off, nothing. What the hell, this guy’s somehow hacked your device? He scrolls to an entry titled ‘edit profile’ and all of your information is pulled up in front of you.

ScallyDom: ‘Look at this bellend, think you’re all that huh?’

‘A top? Yeah right mate, you look more like a bottom bitch to me.’

‘Let’s fix you :p’

As if he couldn’t get more insufferable. The first detail he selects is cock size, a drop down menu appears, ‘Large’ is currently selected.

ScallyDom: ‘This doesn’t work for me. You’re gonna be taking dick, fuckwad. You don’t need much down there.’

He selects ‘Small’ in the menu and confirms the change. Hilarious, you think; a real preschool level mentality here. A second passes and you feel an embarrassing twinge in your downstairs area. What just happened? Nothing, there’s no way anything happened you tell yourself. You do however open your trousers and pull down your underwear. Fuck. You visibly see your cock begin to shrink before your very eyes. This can’t be real, it’s not possible.

ScallyDom: ‘How you like that princess, is your little nub getting hard yet?’

A submenu appears. Caged: Yes.

click

You immediately look back down… there’s a pink chastity cage casing your once large dick. Your balls are pulled taut and you can’t help but feel yourself throb. Time for drastic measures you conclude, lifting your phone. You prepare to throw it and end this when…

ScallyDom: Trigger: attentive mode. Open camera.

You suddenly lose all control of your arms and your phone is brought back up to your face, the camera activates.

ScallyDom: ‘Hey there pretty boy. Don’t look so upset, won’t be long and you’re be fit for purpose’.

Despite your best efforts you can’t move, you’re stuck sat there, looking gormless into your phone camera. Your tiny dick twitches again in its restraints. When you get your hands on this guy… The screen starts moving again and settles on age. You watch as the age ticks down to 19 years old. The screen then switches over to the camera, and there you are staring back.

Your whole face begins to tingle and then a burning heat takes over. It’s almost like your body is being re-molded. Your muscles deflate until you have a decidedly slender, feminine looking body. All of the imperfections are seared from your face. As your new appearance takes shape it becomes obvious that this isn’t a young version of yourself. Unbeknownst to you ‘ScallyDom’ has uploaded an image for your new face to match. Frankly, you look like a doll. The sort of face you’d see when applying 15 filters to an image. If you were on the other end, you’d fuck this face. Unfortunately, this is apparently you now.

ScallyDom: ‘Still think you’re going to be fucking anyone with a face like that? You’re designed to take cock.’

Your lips begin to puff up and pull forward, now stuck in a perpetual ‘duck face’ pout. He goes back into the options and highlights ‘Butt status’. As a top you currently have ‘virgin hole’ selected. He quickly changes that and settles on ‘experienced hole’. You have got to be joking! Immediately the sensation of your cheeks parting presents itself. You squirm in your seat as your hole opens up invitingly. You feel a gaping, empty hole back there. Briefly the thought of it being filled enters your brain. Something, anything needs to fill that void.

ScallyDom: ‘Should be capable of accommodating me now, cocksleeve.’

‘Bet you’re feeling pretty hungry at this point lol.’

You’d love for him to be wrong but you can’t deny how horny you’re feeling, it’s like your new body is designed to take cock. At some point he had changed your clothes, a fluorescent pink crop top with the words ‘I’m on bottom’ didn’t really scream subtlety. A skimpy pair of booty shorts left barely anything to the imagination. Even the guys you went for weren’t this blatantly desperate and basic, you’re like a ‘fuck me’ sign walking.

He doesn’t hesitate to move to several new options, Butt size: ‘Bubble’ and Hair: ‘Buzzcut Fade, Blonde. No body hair.’

The hair on your head begins to recede back into your skull until there’s a couple of millimetres left on top. It lightens until it’s a stark platinum blonde. Great, people are going to assume you’re a ditzy airhead. The rest of your body smooths out completely, your skin is becoming much more sensitive. Your butt tingles once again as it begins to ballon out from behind you. Leaving a nice round cushion that jutts out noticeably, like a shelf. A moan escapes your pouty lips and your face turns red from embarrassment. You look like a twink through and through. This has to end soon, everything will go back to normal you repeatedly try and convince yourself.

ScallyDom: ‘Can’t wait to fuck that face, mate. Bet you’re still convinced you’re a top right?

You don’t like the sound of where this is going. Your ‘Top’ status is highlighted. No, there’s no chance in hell you’re ever going to bottom anyone, especially this cocky dirtbag. ‘Slutty bottom’.

Fuuuckk, you feel so empty. Something is missing from your life, well cock obviously. Your thoughts all shift at once, like you’ve just arrived at the wrong floor. The slut floor. Your hips begin to gyrate slowly. Once again you moan, but this time you don’t try and hold back. Your voice seems to be higher.

ScallyDom: ‘A bitch in heat if I’ve ever seen one. Lets start wrapping things up.’

You’re too busy thrusting your little nub to even bother reading his message. Internally you’re trying to pull yourself together, but your new desires are getting the better of your logical thoughts. Speaking of… Intelligence level: ‘Above average’ is replaced by Below average on a sliding scale, and gets dangerously close to ‘Poor’.

You giggle. This app is sooo confusing. Your head fills with pink cotton candy. Pink like your little cage. You giggle again, just like a schoolgirl. Can’t this guy just fuck your brains out already, gawd. Your eyes dilate and go vacant, your mouth opens slightly.

ScallyDom: ‘You’re made for fucking, not thinking boy toy. Don’t worry though, you got me to help you.’

This guy is like, so mean. Just because you’re a ditzy slut doesn’t mean you don’t have standards, although you bet his cock is pretty juicy. He goes into your relationship status on the app, listed as ‘single’. Several different choices appear, one of which scares you: ‘owned’. Please…anything but that.

‘Owned’ is selected and a second entry opens to type in the owner. Your new master types in his name and your whole world view begins to shift again. At one point you thought him to be a jerk, but all of a sudden he’s the centre of your world. You’d do anything for your sexy master, and you feel honoured to be his.

ScallyDom: ‘You’re now my legal property cocksleeve. Like a chair or a table. Not so high and mighty now, fucking dunce.’

He’s only stating facts, you agree. You are pretty dumb, but that’s okay. Master knows what’s best anyway. Your name is erased from the profile and is replaced by Cali. Immediately it’s like your old name is deleted from your memory. You desperately try to recall what it used to be, but you can only ever remember being known as Cali. It’s probably much cuter than your old stuffy name anyway, Cal-ee. It’s also easy for you to say, long names are like, so hard.

He reaches the end of your profile page and presses ‘save changes’. A warning screen appears:

‘Caution, changes are not made permanent until match is tagged in person by premium member.’

There’s a rush of relief in the back of your head. A small part of you is desperately clinging on to your old identity. Though, It’s becoming so hard to think of anything else other than being mercilessly fucked by master.

ScallyDom: ‘disable attentive mode’.

You feel control coming back to your body.

‘We need to get you fixed, come to this address.’

Fixed? That sounds good, you’d like to be fixed. Wait, wasn’t there a reason you didn’t want to see him in person? But how could you refuse, he was your master after all. Your fingers begin typing.

Cali: ‘Yes sir.’

ScallyDom: ‘Good boy’.

The praise sends a shiver of pleasure down your spine. Without a thought you get up and leave for his flat.

His place isn’t exactly in the best part of town, what do they call it again? A council place… flat. You’re standing in front of his door with this nagging feeling that you should turn around and leave. This might be your last chance.

Before you can consider that, the door flings open and your brain turns to white noise at the sight of your master. You can’t even speak, you just stand there pathetically. Gawd, he’s hot in his tracksuit, you stare at a noticeable outline snaking down his leg.

“Get’in.” He orders and you don’t hesitate to obey, trailing behind him as leads you into the flat.

A rather potent smell hits your nose immediately, it’s like walking into a locker room; a mix of sweaty feet and, ugh, cum… Focus! You need him to fix you, ask him to turn you back. Back to what, you’re not entirely sure but that annoying voice in the recess of your head seems insistent on it.

“Need fix.” You squirm.

“Did I say you could fuk’ing speak fag!” He grabs a hold of your shoulder.

“Sorry sir.”

“Hav’ ya fix right here”

He pushes down on you and you feel your body lower with little resistance. He stops once you are on your knees, eye level with his crotch. He pulls on the waistband of his trackies and his 8 inch cock springs loose. His own ‘premium member’. If you were a cartoon character, you imagine this is where your eyes would fly out of their sockets with heart shapes. Instead you have to settle with looking cross-eyed at his fat member while your mouth salivates.

“Let’s put one of these holes to use.” His hand moves to the top of your head as he holds you in place.

With his other hand he begins to guide his cock towards your waiting mouth, it slips between your plump lips and continues effortlessly until it hits the back of your throat. Your mouth is now brushing up against the dusting of hair on his crotch. He holds the position for a few seconds as his strong musk invades your nose.

Without hesitation he quickly pulls back and then all the way back in. Out, in, out in. His hips move like a jackhammer, your eyes watering. Your head remains held in place as he forcefully fucks your mouth hole, making sure you take the entirety of his dick with each thrust. The thoughts in your head grow even thicker, dislodged, as if he is literally fucking your brains out. This isn’t quite the ‘fix’ you had in mind. However, your caged dick isn’t complaining, as it dribbles continuously into your pants.

“Better get ready to swallow!” He grunts from above you.

His thrusting picks up in pace, your face beginning to feel like a receptacle for his dick. He pushes all the way in one last time and holds it as his cock explodes. Load after load is flooded into your mouth, you start to swallow, the creamy liquid gliding down your throat. It’s like sucking on a particularly thick milkshake, although this tastes even better. You can let yourself enjoy this once, then we can get back to fixing things, the voices in your head negotiate.

He pulls out with a plop, dripping his juices onto the floor. You make sure to clean up every drop, without even being asked.

“Fuck, you’re a natural cocksleeve. What are you?” He asks as you look admirably up at him.

“Umm……cocksleeve.” Don’t giggle, don’t giggle.

*Giggle*

It was like trying to hold back a hiccup.

“Haha, god’s your dumb.” The laugh cuts straight through you.

There’s a puddle forming beneath you as your nub continues to leak shamelessly. Your master pulls you to your feet, he’s so much taller than you.

“Need to be tagged ho. Lets see that bubble butt of yours.”

There was something about being tagged earlier, tagged was bad? It was so hard to remember, maybe that was the fix. Hopefully it would clear up this thick cotton stuffing your little head. You drop your clothes, a thin line of pre hangs from your pink cage. You put your hands on your lower legs and bend forward so your butt sticks out towards him. Master pulls out a small device, it looks a bit like a price gun.

“Should hav’ read those terms of service, you are now mine fuck slut.”

Master always has the best names for you, but you have no idea what he’s talking about. He seems happy so you smile dimly.

The device is held against your lower back, just above your jiggling butt. There’s a whine and a minor stinging sensation. The device is pulled away, revealing a series of numbers lasered into your skin. It’s your profile ID number from the app. Your brain clicks, like a key being turned. In an instant that annoying little voice is silenced as the cotton covers all your thoughts.

“Oh thuck, maaaaster!” You whine in your effeminately high voice.

Your caged dick spurts the floor; your old personality ejaculated, nothing more than a pathetically small pool of cum between your legs. You find yourself loudly panting.

“Mouth open, now.” Master spins you around so you are once again facing him.

You open your mouth wide, a metal ring is pushed into your open jaw. He fastens it tight on your head and you close your mouth around it. The ring gag keeps your mouth open in an O shape, saliva begins to naturally gather at the end of your tongue.

“Me ‘in the footie team got practice tomorrow. You won’t mind if we share you after the game, Cali. The lads tend to get pretty pent up.” Master gives you a cocky smile.

You imagine being passed around by the team in the locker room, them calling you names as you obediently polish their poles from both ends. Their sweaty crotches slapping against your face.

Your tongue lolls out of your mouth and your ass quivers.

You can’t wait.

[fuck-customers]

Customer got pissed cause I refused to take his change.

This was an obligatory "oh wait I have the change" only said after you've already input the amount they hand you first moment. As it stands, I've been working with registers and money for years now, so needless to say I'm quick at getting change to avoid this exact instance. 9/10 times I manage to have their change ready before the dreaded "oh actually" even leaves their stupid mouths. As was the case in this scenario. Guy's purchase was 34.70 or some shit, he hands me a 50. Okay cool. I put it in, and as I'm getting his bills he goes "Actually, I have the 4.70" and proceeds to start pulling out piles, and I mean fucking PILES, of 10/20 cents. I look at that, look at him, and then hold out the change with a "That's okay. Here's your change."

He frowns, in the way they usually do when dipshits realise they can't offload a small fortune in loose coins, and goes: "No, I'll give you the 4.70"

"No, that's okay. I've already put it through. Here you go."

"But I'm tired of carrying all of this around" (then go to a fucking bank, jackass)

"Sorry, once the money enters the register it's against policy to alter it" (a lie. I'm just too lazy and underpaid to count all that)

He then proceeds to scatter what coins he'd managed to scrap out across the counter and basically demand I take it. I'm like lol no get fucked, just take ur change dick (customer service translation: I'm sorry sir, I can't do that. If you'd like, there's a change box in the players area, or you could make another purchase equal to that amount?)

He starts on this tyraid about how I'm just lazy (true) and the whole "kids don't want to work" spiel 🥱 Yeah yeah, whatever guy. Been there, heard this shit a million times. Be original or get outta my line.

At this stage I'm over holding his money out so I just put it down on the counter, and that sets him off even more. Goes off about how I couldn't even 'hand it to him like a decent person' (ironic, coming from the guy who just threw a small bounty on said counter) and snatches his money up with the, also obligatory, "I won't be coming back." Good. Don't. Find a bank and have them deal with your shit, crybaby.

If you're waiting in line at a grocery store/restaurant/anywhere, get your fucking money ready beforehand. If you know you have change you want to get rid of, have it on hand. Don't pull the 'let me fuck up your total and make you look like a moron while your brain short-circuits trying to find the new total' shtick. If you do this, you're garbage.

Posted by admin Rodney

[malereadermaniac]

Bug-a-boy ~ Luka & Adrien x Male Reader

College Au: Luka - 19 / Adrien - 18 / Reader - 18 word count: 1.2k

Idk about this one... but I wanted to write it. Basically a miraculous holder reader x adrien and luka

Your college class is huge

But it's to be expected, you do go to the most popular college in Paris

You share the class with a group of friends that came from Francoise Dupont

Luckily, the groups appointed leader befriended you pretty early into the year

Marrientte Dupain-cheng was the kindest girl you knew

And her friends: Alya, Nino, Adrien and Sabrina weren't too bad either

Actually, you liked them a lot, and you were glad that they wanted to be friends with you

There was also this other guy from the year above, Luka

You didn't talk to him much, but the others were fond of him

But the few times you two did talk, he was nothing but calm and welcoming

All in all, you love your college and your friends

However...

The one setback to coming to Paris for school, was the Akuma's

After Hawk-moth's fall, a new owner of the Butterfly miraculous came to power

But to counteract that, Paris has its own team of Miraculous bearers

The only problem was, currently, Paris has no ladybug...

During a massive fight against a very powerful, akumatized villain, Ladybug was hit, and her powers disappeared

Well, not literally, she remained transformed, however the villains power made it as if she were a regular adult wearing a superhero costume...

After sending Chat Noir, Rena Rouge and Viperion off to distract the villain, a now powerless Ladybug was running over to your college

After swapping out her miraculous from the Ladybug to another one, "Ladybug" finds you, hidden inside of a locker

"AHHHH! ANOTHER VILLAIN!" You shout, not recognising Ladybug with a new miraculous

"Not quite, (y/n)" she chuckles

"It's me, Ladybug. But my miraculous has been rendered useless..."

"Oh... I'm so sorry, Ladybug, wish I could help you somehow" you sympathise

"There is." Ladybug looks into your eyes with determination

"(Y/n) (L/n), here is the miraculous of the Ladybug, it offers the power of creation. I entrust you with this miraculous to fulfill my role while I can't, after that, you're to return these earrings to me - understood?" Ladybug explains with a grin

"Yes, Ladybug! I won't disappoint you"

After putting on the earrings the kwamii appears, explains the whole shtick and you get going

"Tikki, Spots on!" You shout and then you're set

"Once I'm fixed by the miraculous ladybugs, I'll use the horse miraculous to teleport you back to me, okay?"

"Of course Ladybug!"

And you were off, using your yo-yo to swing around the streets of Paris until you reached the action

A now powerless Rena Rouge trying to distract the villain as Chat Noir and Viperion try to figure out a plan while fighting the thing

"What the fuck..." Chat mumbles when you catch his eye, waving at him in a coy manner from a roof top

Both men watch you, confused as you jump down to them

"Who are you? Where's Ladybug??" Viperion questions frantically

"She decided to pass her miraculous onto me for a little while until we solve this little issue"

"Fine by me as long as you know what you're doing, bug-a-boy" Chat noir slyly remarks as he leans on his pole

"Bug-a-boy... I like that" you giggle and then get to business

Immediately you call on your lucky charm

"Yep, defiantly a real Ladybug holder haha! What you gonna do with that bugg-a-boy" Chat noir laughs as you hold onto a seemingly useless looking lucky charm

"I do, actually!" You say with a smile

"Just follow my lead boys, if you can keep up" you chuckle as you use your yo-yo to swing into action

"Damn, that boy has more charisma than you Chat Noir" viperion chuckles

"He does, doesn't he..."

The two of them follow you quickly

"Rena! I'm gonna need you to get that thing under the arc-de-triumph!" You shout as you wizz past

"I'm on it"

"Viperion, once that villain" is under the Arc, use your second chance immediately please"

"Of course bug-a-boy" viperion smirks

Chat Noir looks at you smugly

You start to mark X's on the Arc using the bucket of paint your lucky-charm gave you

"I can see where this is going" the black cat chuckles

"Then you know when and where to use your cataclysm, kitty noir" you tease and spring into action when you see Rena Rouge and the villain coming your way

Once the villain is under the Arc, you use shout for Chat noir

He heads to one of the marks but before Chat can call his power, Viperion shouts

"Not that one! Try the one below it"

And so, once Chat Noir cataclysm's the Arc, it crumbles to pieces and buries the villain, one of the pieces crushing his akumatized item

"Bye bye little butterfly" you say with a chuckle, as the 3 other hero's watch you

The 2 men chuckling as a faint blush cover their faces

"Not a bad job for your first time, bug-a-boy"

"Do you really need to flirt with every Ladybug holder, Chat?" Rena jokes

"Yeah! Look at him, he's creeped out by you, he'd much prefer a snake over a cat" Viperion joins in

"What is up with you two"

"Haha, I like this team.... Miraculous Bug-a-boy!" You shout as you throw up the lucky-charm

5 seconds later, a portal appears next to you

"Good work, everyone!" A horse miraculous bearing Ladybug pops out

"Ladybug?!" Everyone questions

"Good job picking this one, Ladybug" Viperion chuckles as he puts an arm on your shoulder

"I look forward to seeing you soon again, mi'lord~" Chat Noir teases as he kisses your hand

"That's enough Chat Noir, you'll see him soon enough!" Ladybug chuckles as she brings you through the portal after your goodbyes

After handing back the miraculous, life went back to normal, except that Ladybug started to call on you more often, but with a different miraculous this time

Life at school was normal as always

However when you were out with the hero gang, you'd noticed Chat Noir and Viperion becoming cosier to you than they were to the others...

Like when Chat Noir started bringing you roses every time you were called on

Or one time, Viperion used his second chance to have "a perfect conversation" with you during patrol with you

You were flattered, but a little worried that the two were taking it too far

It had gotten to the point where the two of them were fighting, passive aggressive remarks and even disrupting fights against villains with their arguing

That was until Ladybug struck then a deal

"I will tell you his identity if you both stop this bickering, its becoming a problem. If you don't, I will take your miraculous"

Of course they both agreed

And that's when your school life changed as well

Because Adrien and Luka started bombarding you during your school day

Adrien already sat next to you in class, but during lunch Luka was on you like a snake to a rat

You were getting overwhelmed, but then again you loved the attention you were getting from them

After all, you hadn't ever had a boyfriend, this could be a nice change

Soon, the two of them started noticing that the other liked you

So they decided to combine their efforts

"Which one of us do you like the most!?!?" The two of them shout at you in frustration after weeks of trying to win you over

"I... I don't know! Okay?! I like you both... I don't wanna hurt one of you by rejecting you for the other"

"Then.... date us both?" Luka suggests with a smile

It took some convincing but the two of them managed to convince you

And life has been so much better since

[fave-fight]

ROUND 1, MATCH 26

NO MAGIC, POWERS, OR WEAPONS

Dr. Coomer:

“i… don’t think he would win.”

“HELLO, GORDON!”

Floyd Leech:

“If he stays in human form and has no mage stones, he's just Some Guy, so he still qualifies. This mafia motherfucker would FIGHT. One time when faced with a monster, everyone else was like "oh no, we need magic" and he was like "nah, let's punch it" and then he DID. He hasn't used his pointy teeth in canon yet, but he could in theory bite someone if necessary, and it would hurt like a bitch. He'd fight dirty, I just know it. Let him punch everything and then get punched in the face, it'd be so great.”

“This guy is a menace who almost never uses weapons or tools to terrorize people. He's strong and athletic, smart enough to get what he wants on a whim, and squeezes contract-breakers until they faint on a regular basis.”

“NOTE: Floyd is a magic boy, but the “no mage stone” thing is there because it means he won’t be able to use magic, because people in Twisted Wonderland can’t without accumulating deadly magic toxin unless they have the stones. He’s also a merman, but he’d be in his human form. His human form does have pointy teeth (like the anime character kind) but I’m not sure if they have any real effect in game other than to intimidate people. Other people in this game have them too who are allegedly “human.” And again, plenty of “human” anime characters have them. Myfeeling is that they shouldn’t be disqualifying on their own.  This game is about magic boys at a magic school, but don’t worry, they get into traditional fist-fights so often it’s literally a randomly generated event that can happen in your Guest Room space. And Floyd Leech would never use magic in a fist-fight. He’d think that was “no fun” or “totally lame.” His signature magical spell just nullifies other people’s magic that targets him… so he can fight them with his fists. Since no one else here has magic, it’s totally irrelevant.  Also I’m not sure he uses fists so much as he does something to his opponents that he describes as “squeezing” them. I don’t know entirely what he means by that when he’s in his human form, but how much it scares the faceless NPC students indicates to me that he’s found a way to make it work. I do know it’s supposed to have a whole mafia vibe to it. Because his dad (and his childhood friend he lowkey sort-of works for) have real mafia boss energy. And Floyd’s basically decided that if he’s going to do this mafia shtick it’s Capo or bust. Floyd doesn’t always feel like doing stuff, due to his wildly unpredictable mood swings, but it honestly seems like the thing he can most easily be convinced to do is beat the shit out of people. During the “Beanfest” event (which was somewhat analogous to a paintball match), he insisted on throwing his weapon away and beating up aforementioned childhood friend even though the game was over and he’d already lost, just because apparently “once Floyd has decided to fight nothing can be done about it" and you just have to fight him if you want to get on with the rest of your day. He’d started out that event “not really in the mood” but somehow ended up spending the entire day beating the hell out of every person he ran into. In the camping event, when all of the boys were being picked off by a monster in the woods one at a time and were panicking because they didn’t have magestones or cellphones and therefore couldn’t defend themselves with magic or call an adult for help, Floyd was literally just like “why don’t we just beat the shit out of it?” And then he DID. And it was awesome.  But before you think he’s just some sort of dumb thug, let me assure you that Floyd is actually one of Night Raven’s most intelligent students. He has a photographic memory and can create valuable gems in alchemy class with minimal effort. Unfortunately, his mood swings make it impossible for him to maintain a decent GPA. But he’s actually a smart, tactical fighter. He’s just violent and unstable. Oh and if you’re wondering, his personality is generally abrasive and confrontational. He regularly starts arguments with the most volatile people at the school, just to mess with them and see where it goes because he’s bored.  Finally, if it sweetens the deal for anyone, Floyd would wear some killer designer shoes to this fight. Don’t worry, they wouldn’t be dangerous/weaponized. They’d just be expensive and custom made. You know, so he can get upset when someone scuffs them up.  Like for real, is there anyone who deserves to be in a crazy bitch fist-fight more than a moody mafia prince who’s secretly some sort of genius, but seems to only truly love fighting and designer footwear? If there is, I can’t think of them. ”

[playertwotails]

did u write the baby tails post yet? id love to read it

Here you go, my de-aged/time switched feral baby Tails idea so hold your hat cause it's a long one under the cut. Also forgive me and my nonsense, I am not a writer.

Just to set some ground rules on my take on baby Tails so we're all on the same page. First of all I always imagine Tail and Sonic meeting when Tails was 3/4 and Sonic 10/11 (both are homeless kids best they can do is guesstimate ages and roll with it). And our little guy Tails, is the sweet, kind, caring Tails we all know and love. BUT as a baby all of that was buried under the weight of being abandoned, harassed, hurt, half/fully starved and bullied starting from maybe basically birth if not shortly after. So baby Tails is just the most FERAL of little guys. He WILL bite, claw, kick, pull fur/feathers/whatever they got and do whatever it takes if he feels cornered and threatened by someone. And yes he has his inventions even at that young age to protect him somewhat, but he's still a baby and can only build them out of the scraps he finds, so they are little flimsy and get destroyed easily by said bullies fairly often. So bitey time's are aplenty for baby Tails.

Now luckily when Sonic meet Tails one of their first interactions was him saving Tails from bullies so he started out a few steps on the less feral side of Tails. Not that Sonic doesn't/never saw this side of Tails, it just never got it directed at him unless he startled Tails or was calming Tails down when something else brought out that side. I also like to think that Sonic and Tails were together about a year before Eggman ever even found out about Tails. So by the time Eggman and their other friends meet Tails, the feral side of Tails has been pretty much put to rest as, through Sonic's help, Tails doesn't need to rely on that 'cornered feral rabies filled racoon' fight instinct anymore. The Tails they first meet relies more on his inventions, smarts, and how Sonic taught him to fight.

SO getting to the bread and butter of all this.

Sonic, Tails and Co. are fighting Eggman or maybe another villain per their usual shtick. And when they go to hit Sonic with their "ultimate weapon" it ends up a whole whoopsi daisies situation and hits Tails instead. Now readers choice on if this de-ages Tails or switched older Tails with younger Tails, but result is the same either way. The smoke clears, Tails is still there, to everyone's short lived relief, but there is now a much smaller scruggly looking Tails in that spot

(Now another thought I had just for ultimate angst potential for either scenario of scruffy baby Tails, is that baby Tails has the starved figure, scars, cuts, bruises, matted/patchy fur he had on what ever day he de-aged to/switched with)

The villain then dips cause plan has gone sideways and Sonic and crew are now just left with a tiny little baby Tails. (and the crew I imagine is Amy, Knuckles, Shadow, and Rouge - maybe Blaze, Silver, Tangle and Whisper too just to make it a really party if you want)

I think before even Sonic can react though Amy is the first to make it to baby Tails. Now I love Amy to death but bless her heart she has a tendency to get tunnel vision sometimes (big mood). So before she registers that baby Tails is a bit more ruff around the edges than she's used to, she just sees a cute little tiny baby Tails and immediately goes for the hug cause Tails is adorable on his own but tiny Tails is serotonin directly injected into your veins and her being a whole mood cannot physically stop herself from going for a hug. Plus they've met a younger Tails before so she thinks it's a similar situation so free hugs all around. (Sidenote - I'm just gonna call baby Tail BT for the rest of this cause it long)

Unfortunately BT only registers 'person coming at them fast and getting close' and just uses his reaction to bite Amy all the while hissing and growling like a feral cat in an alleyway.

Immediately everyone is taken aback (except for Sonic) cause that's not a very Tails thing for Tails to do especially to friends even if he's scared.

(And another side note here cause lord forbid my thought process stays cohesive for five minutes - but I see baby Tails being either a Tails that has met Sonic but only has been with him for maybe 2-3 weeks if even that long, so he recognizes Sonic but doesn't really trust him yet. Or for even more 'oh this is sad' it is a little Tails before he met even Sonic, so everyone is starting at the -100 trust line with the feral fluff ball. (i'm moving forward with this with the 'BT knows Sonic but no trust between them' one cause older brother Sonic is my weakness and BT being cute and clingy will not leave my brain))

So BT gets startled at everyone being startled and moves to take off to go hide in a hole somewhere cause "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE" (if you get the reference let me know) and everyone then makes a move to catch him. Now BT is on fight/flight instincts only and does not even register Sonic. Plus Sonic does not look like the one he knows so he doesn't even recognize him in this state, just is trying to peace the fuck out of there and get to safety. And with everyone now after him BT then proceeds to go into FULL FERAL MODE on all of them.

He is clawing at them, biting everyone, hissing and spitting while making a B-line for what he thinks is an exit. With everyone still being shocked, not wanting to hurt him and with BT being more slippery than grease on pig, they are STRUGGLING. He is giving then the runaround. They're are now all getting more injured than they did in the fight that caused this. All their abilities are doing nothing in helping them catch Tails. BT is that one scene of Jack Jack from the Incredibles levels of fucking them up and he can't even shape shift. He managed to rip off one of Shadows skates, bite through Knuckles gloves, scratch up Rogue and set off her bombs (she threw them all away from her before they exploded), Amy's hands and arms are COVERED in bit marks, and he went for Sonic's shins with deadly accurate kicks (Sonic would be proud if it didn't hurt so much). They all just look like they got into a fight with a wood-chipper and miserably lost but nope it's all just a scared toddler that can and will fuck someone up.

It's only when Sonic shouts "MILES!!!!" at Tails that he finally stops (maybe Tails isn't being called Tails yet at that time so Sonic has to say his name or maybe it's just big brother/parent mode voice gets through to him). BT stops his frantic exit relay race but will not let anyone close and is still straight up growling at everyone. So now they're all just standing in a lose circle around BT not wanting to take their eyes off him but all desperately sending mental vibes to Sonic to take care of this cause what the fuck has gotten into Tails.

Cue soft big brother Sonic stepping up to bat and everyone watches him try and coax a tiny scraggly Tails, that looks 3 seconds from trying to bolt again, to get closer to Sonic and calm down. He does succeed after about 10 mins and gets BT to let him get close enough to look over his injuries. And they watch Sonic look over BT's injuries with the softest of big brother looks but when he's got BT turned around to check his back Sonic gets just a flash of anger but resigned look on his face. Cause Sonic knows those injuries and they weren't from the beam BT got hit with. (He'd forgotten how bad they were due to time and also being so young when they first met but now he's even more pissed off and sad about it) - Meanwhile people on West Side Island "why do I suddenly hear Kellin Quinn singing??"

So from there the crew moves out with BT almost glued to Sonic's side cause he's scared of everyone. Sonic has to fly them all back cause BT is too little to reach the pedals of the plane (to the surprise of a few of their friends cause they either forgot/didn't know Sonic could fly a plane also idk how to fly a plane but my imaginary one has pedals now). Finally they get back to a safe area, Tail's workshop, and the other's stick close but outside so they don't overwhelm BT while Sonic spends time cleaning/feeding/treating BT's injuries and put him to bed.

Once Sonic's got the little orange terror to go to sleep he gets everyone rounded up to talk about this and figure out how to fix it. But not before they all grill him for info cause what the fuck has gotten into Tails, they thought it was just the beam at first that caused BT to act like that but Sonic knew what to do so that theory jumped out the window. Cue Sonic giving them the watered down version of his memories of feral baby Tails, cause a lot of it ain't their business in his mind but they also need to know enough to not trigger BT into going full feral scared mode on them.

Even with what they know is the more sanitized version of events Sonic gives them everyone is shocked to find out this was actually how Tails was as a little baby toddler guy when Sonic first found him. Cause they all know how sweet Tails is. The difference is night and day. They are all also immediately mentally planning murder. (- Meanwhile people on Westside Island again "why do I hear Tyler Smyth now???? wtf??")

They all just get sad and angry cause who could hurt Tails (exceptions being made to this rule for Eggman and the rest of their circle of villains cause villains gonna villain).

I imagine Amy just starts crying cause she's upset that, that happened to Tails. But also she about to bust out that hammer and hunt some people down.

Knuckles is upset and suddenly feels really guilty about some of those early days fights he used to get into with Sonic and Tails when they all first met. But also recalling some small moments where a hint of this came out when he first met Tails but never to the extent he had seen earlier that day.

Rogue already kinda knew about it cause..spy, but not the full extent. Her info was coming from second hand sources that tried to hide the fact that they were so cruel to one of the only people who can/has stopped Eggman. She already got names and faces and she's about to get a bunch of new stuff when she robs all of them blind. And she's also planning on taking Omega with her, let him cause some chaos, blow up a few thing for fun-sies.

Shadow about to march up stairs, pick up BT, tell Sonic "this is mine now" and march out with a new brother. Also pay a little visit to Westside Island with Rogue cause he knew that face she made, she already has names and he wants in. Tails just reminds him so much of Maria and BT got Shadows 'thought to be long gone' protective brother instincts kicking into overdrive now.

The rest of this goes down with all of them just spoiling the hell outta BT, getting told stories from BT about his life and it just being one of the saddest things they ever have heard ever, and figuring out how to fix it by hunting down whoever did it to MAKE them fix it.

Bonus points: They also get to see how destructive BT is with weapons and learn:

1) why Sonic ban Tails from making some types of weapons.

2) that Sonic actually has the patience of a saint for a little destructive BT

3) Tails is way more down to murder than they had previously thought

Anyways hope you enjoyed my rambles. Long busy week so sorry if it's a little all over the place. It was a long post but it's also been a while since I posted.

[enthyrea]

hi storm hope you're well :0 here's your reminder to drink water and eat something if you haven't already!!!

can I ask about your fav macheresin headcanons??

HI CY i love you! i just had lunch <3 hope you are hydrated and well!

i have soooo many headcanons for these two idiots. its actually insane. these are disorganized sorry

my personal fav rn is like. they are so telepathically connected that even pre-relationship, if one of them is getting hit on at a bar, the other just magically appears behind them like "is this guy bothering you, baby?" and they both fall into that fake-fiancee shtick SOOO fast. they do it constantly to the point where some people actually think they are engaged.

they would have a marriage pact like "if we arent married by 30 we have to get engaged" and they're serious about it but in a bro way. then jake turns 30, they get engaged for real because ofc and then feelings start to show? after the GLOC incident jake claims to be javy's husband to get past hospital staff to see him, and the daggers are like "YALL ARE MARRIED??" and then it just devolves from there and they realize oh. yeah we actually do like each other (i have a whole riff about this that i've been thinking of writing lol)

jake's love language as acts of service <3 he memorizes the recipe for javy's favorite gumbo and makes it for his birthday/whenever javy's feeling particularly homesick !!

ALSO. i think they're very "practically married but oblivious" like they 'save money' by living together (its totally not because they feel so much more comfortable staying with the other) saving on heating bills by cuddling. platonically. of course. like literally

bob: one time i ran into them while they were at the flower gardens on valentines day. they told me it wasnt a date and they just wanted to take advantage of the free couple's package reuben: oh so they're hopeless

its to the point where their respective families actually think they're together. two of jake's sisters think he's already married to javy. javy's dad is convinced they're just long term pranking him. considering javy brings jake home for thanksgiving every year without fail, his dad is about to strangle him if he doesnt confess and or get married to this white boy TOMORROW

basically i think they're very stupid but i am obsessed with them and their frat boy energy.

(also related but post-getting together: when javy gets drunk he just starts blabbering about jake to anyone who will listen (no one wants to listen) meanwhile drunk jake is just falling over himself tryna kiss javy while javy's like "down boy! no! not in public!" (he is weak and will eventually give up and let jake smother him in kisses))

[smallidarityfan]

ask game! smallidarity. i just wanna hear someone talk about them<3

you are my enabler tumblr user hellish-hyperfixation

Ship It

• What made you ship it?

I can't exactly remember when I started to, but it was sometime after watching Joel's esmp 2 around mid 2022 when I realized that the man would always mention Jimmy at least one time per video. and i was like. holy crapos. i know what they are.

Though I also vividly remember the first time I watched Joel through Last Life, he met Jimmy in some cave and bullied him and I was also like: "what?!?! being mean in minecraft roleplay?!??!?!! that is just like the popular ship bakudeku from the hit series my hero academia (literally barely watched the show)"

• What are your favorite things about the ship?

THEYRE SOOOO......... THEYRE............. ok. ok ok ok. other than the fact that I just really like enemies to lovers type shii, the way that Joel would go lengths to protect Jimmy whether in the life series or empires (see the times when fwhip or scott would bully Jimmy and then Joel rushes in to kill them) despite being the one to bully him in the first place,

or when Jimmy would be a victim to Joel's teasing, actively says he hates it, yet always seems to gravitate towards being around Joel and doing the things he tells him to without question??— the way it then seems like he'd never admit that they're friends (or. in love) and yet 2 seconds later he'd just be like "guys i love Joel so much. wait what who said that?"

And then the Exclusive Flirting?!??!?!! both Jimmy and Joel have canonical esmp husbands (scott and sausage) and yet neither of them ever so much flirts with their husbands much more then they flirt between themselves?????? Hello??!?!?!?! flirting after a whole enemies to lovers shtick??!?! in MY empires smp?!?!?! The way they call each other babe (other than their actual partners ofc LMAO) but not to anyone else?!?! Even in the life series!!! See that 1 clip where Etho professed love to Joel but gets shut down, or when Sausage called Jimmy 'babe' but was like "What? only Joel calls me babe..." and then on the Smallidarity side you get clips of them mutually confessing to each other???????

Jimmy's known Martyn longer than he's known Joel, and Joel's known Oli longer than he's known Jimmy, and yet just from X life 3 years ago they immediately snapped together as best friends the moment they met and then proceeds to do pet play in some quad account merging youtuber competition (sniffermyfeet piglinmynose video).

ykwhatimsaying. the clips basically do all the work honestly.

• Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

eughhh this is hard because i dont know much about the other opinions on this ship? OH ACTUALLY some people take their relationship to be that of a Joel dom-ing type situation where he takes advantage of his bully stance in order to date Jimmy, but i take it more in the shonen manga style way? eg: it's because Joel likes Jimmy that Joel bullies him (in a tsundere way)

To me, Joel fundamentally isn't brash or aggressive in nature, it's just the way he ends up communicating as such. His character has bits of anxiety sprinkled in (you can see from how jittery his movements are in-game), while his main value is just being calm and playing singleplayer hardcore minecraft for 600 hours building pretty little structures yk?

So normally, I don't think Joel would be as naturally aggressive as people take him to be in the smallidarity dynamic? Maybe only when Joel feels tense is when he'd start being mean n stuff, and maybe you could associate that with feelings for jimmy i guess. (highschool au brewing in my mind rn)

[snek-eyes]

Hello! What do you mean that Crowley is cold in the flashback with Job? Like, in a mean way? I always found he acts a little cool and demonic to keep up the charade knowing him acting demonic and uncaring will better veil the fact that he didn't kill the goats and doesn't intend to harm the kids since we know he'll be in big trouble if anyone finds out. And he knows everything will be fine, and that the kids won't get hurt and that the animals are safe as well so I figure that's a big factor in him seeming so cool/lacking compassion in the scene with Sitis. It reminded me a little of the scene in S1 where he turns the paintball guns into real ones and acts all cool and careless about it until begrudgingly admitting that nobody gets shot 🤔

Oh! And I forgot to add: the cool, rather uncaring demeanour Crowley has with Sitis is the same he first has with Aziraphale when he "kills" the goats and when he tells him he longs to destroy Job's blameless children. Until he realizes Aziraphale isn't on Heaven's side with this. Anyways, sorry for the ramble and I love reading your meta!

(re: this post)

Hi there! Never any need to apologize for rambling to me, discussions like this are fun, and you are drawing some very good points. And it gives me an excuse to put more thought into this!

To clarify, by "cold" I'm not saying Crowley's being mean, but he's definitely not being nice. Crowley is a "kind but not nice" big picture kinda guy, and he's got a lot of plates to be juggling here.

This is the one real time we see Crowley "at work." Like you said, acting as a demon. But not the bwahaha type of demon Aziraphale keeps bringing up with his 'avaunt!' and 'I bring a warning!' over-the-top angel shtick.

Crowley's got a wall up, by necessity. He comes across sort of... aloof and impatient, verging on condescending at points. He's steering this interaction by his plan and can't be stopped by how these people are suffering in the meantime.

And yet he's doing all he is with Job's family because he cares. Crowley thinks it's not fair that Job's being put through this, that God still has Sitis's faith even now. How much of that is the specific situation in front of him, and how much is him projecting his own trauma isn't exactly clear and I think kind of irrelevant. They're both at play. Crowley I'm sure would love to pretend he doesn't care about either.

But these humans are simultaneously A) in his way and B) not at fault. Crowley is a big picture guy: He does his best work on a large scale, he's fond of humans in general but they're often too much for him one on one. He'll support sacrificing one life to save the whole world (And yet, he won't personally pull the trigger) (But he will get frustrated when Aziraphale won't either)

Basically, Crowley can be frustrated by individuals enough to not be comforting while they're upset, to turn them into newts, etc. while also able to see on the broader scale that being annoying to him personally isn't reason enough to deserve truly awful things. Also there's some element of not wanting to let himself get attached because if he cares he will care.

That's a fascinating character trait, especially when you contrast him with Aziraphale who also has a big heart, but often gets distracted by that big picture of how things Should be.

I have more to say about your second message, because I actually think there's an important difference in his attitude with Sitis & Job vs how he's confronting Aziraphale there. But I've been turning this part over for long enough, so I'll release it into the wild.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Manga ch.88-90

The 2023 Dragon Ball Apocrypa Liveblog concludes with the DBS manga's adaptation of the Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero motion picture.

First up, we have this three-chapter prologue/prequel thing starring Goten and Trunks in their lankey teen bodies. It's well-made, but I'm not impressed. Find out the reason why... inside!

Okay, as the image above shows, this is all about the boys' playing superheroes while they're in high school... just like Gohan did way back in Dragon Ball Z. The main difference seems to be that there's two of them doing it this time, and their motives are a little more frivolous. Gohan came up with Great Saiayaman because he just couldn't help but foil crimes, and the costume allowed him to save the day without giving away his identity. Goten and Trunks also want to keep a low profile, but they mostly seem to be doing this shtick because they're on a superhero kick lately. They call themselves "Saiyaman X1 and X2", but their act mainly imitates their hero, Cleangod, who has a franchise of movies, video games, and so forth.

The added wrinkle is that they're also trying to keep this thing a secret from their families, as Bulma and Chi-Chi wouldn't approve of the boys screwing around like this when they should be studying. I guess it was okay when Gohan did it, but times have changed, and Trunks in particular isn't doing so hot on his report cards.

That does keep things mildly interesting. For example, you'd expect the boys to use costume changing watches like Great Saiyaman had, except they don't want Bulma to find out. So Trunks asks Pilaf to make them instead, and Pilaf can't make them as quickly, so Trunks doesn't get his until chapter 88 is half-over, and Goten's isn't ready until chapter 89. And you know, it probably would make things a lot simpler for Goten and Trunks to avoid the Saiyaman stuff altogether if they don't want their moms to find out, since they've seen this trick before. But they're doing it anyway, I guess because they're just that deep into the Cleangod fandom.

However, this still feels like a retread of a storyline we've already seen. Reading this, I feel like I've gotten too old for Dragon Ball. I know that isn't true. I'm looking forward to whatever happens in Chapter 101 onward, and Daima seems promising, even if it wasn't what I had in mind. There's always something interesting around the corner... but I see stories like this one that are more interested in rehashing older material, and it just feels tired and stale. Younger fans may not mind at all, but I see this and wonder if all we have left is just rehashing ideas we've already seen before.

Besides all of that, I'm not a big fan of high school stories, and there's a healthy dose of Trumai... and let's just get this out of the way before we go any further: I'm not that interested in the whole "next generation" thing.

I know there's a lot of fans who really dig the whole idea of exploring what happens to Goten, Trunks, Marron, Uub, Bulla, and Pan. I respect that, but I've never been very invested in any of them. I liked what we got out of them in DBZ, but that's about it. Let me kind of single out Goten so I can discuss this more easily. For the sake of argument, let's just call the "next generation" concept "Big Goten", since it features the teenage or adult version of the character, as opposed to the little guy in the Buu Saga and most of Super. Trunks, Marron, and the rest can be lumped into this, but it's easier to just refer to one character.

Basically, this 3-chapter arc is probably the best "Big Goten" story by default. Your other options are the End of Z episodes which barely do anything with him, or that one GT episode where he fights Baby and gets possessed. Or the Super Hero movie, where he's barely in it.

And yet, we have this 3-chapter arc, and Goten's basically playing sidekick to Trunks. That's not a huge problem in itself. You'd expect these two to be side-by-side, but it's mainly a Trunks story. He's trying to get Mai to go out with him, but she's part of the Pilaf gang living at Capsule Corp, and they have to be useful or Bulma will kick them out. So she's too busy repairing these "helper robots" that malfunctioned recently. Trunks thinks he can investigate the case as Saiyaman X-1 and get Mai the weekend off so she can date him. Goten's just sort of along for the ride. He enjoys the superhero bit, and he likes goofing off with Trunks, so it's all good.

And honestly, you could probably switch these two around and have Goten be the one trying to solve crimes to go on a date, while Trunks is the supportive wingman. But that's the problem. We have this one story, and they both kind of have to share it, and it really doesn't matter which one of them gets the lead.

Like, in this arc, we learn a little more about Teen Trunks. He's not doing well scholastically, he lacks Bulma's talent with computers or science, and... he's still carrying a torch for Mai for some reason. Oh, and he's afraid of ghosts now. It's not much to go on, but at least he gets something. All we find out about Goten in this thing is that he likes Cleangod, just like Trunks. Oh, and Teen Marron has a brief appearance where it turns out she really likes Cleangod too. Also several of Goten and Trunks' classmates enjoy Cleangod. And Dr. Hedo likes Cleangod. You know, that's how you develop your characters, right? You make them all like the same thing.

The point I'm getting at is that for years I've heard that Big Goten is this untapped well of great story ideas and this arc finally gets around to that and... it's pretty underwhelming. That's the big idea? Superheroes? Again? It worked for Gohan because it was a fresh idea when he did it. And it worked for Dr. Hedo because it helped set him apart from Dr. Gero. But all it does for Goten and Trunks is give them another set of clothes. Trunks is still pining for Mai and Goten is still just happy to be here. It's not enough. It's not nearly enough.

So let's move on. The boys head into town one night to investigate the Helper Robots that are mysteriously disappearing. Turns out they've been hijacked by Dr. Hedo's Alpha series androids. Strictly speaking, the Alphas are just corpses stolen from a morgue, reanimated with cybernetics. Remember those goons working at the convenience store in the beginning of Super Hero? Well this is the same group of guys. Hedo's problem is that he's fare more brilliant than Gero ever was, but he lacks the resources and funding to make the kinds of androids that he wants to make. The Alphas are functional, but only just. Their brains are defective, and you can probably only steal so many bodies from the morgue before the cops get wise to you. So Hedo's big idea is to hijack the Helper Robots and use them to manufacture sushi packages for profit. He could build something more efficient for this, but this will have to do until he gets the cash.

Oh, I forgot to talk about how Pilaf built the Helper bots. I'm not clear on what they do, but there's a lot of them in the city, and apparently Pilaf pitched the idea to Bulma and she okayed it. At first I was surprised to read this, but then I remembered that Pilaf had his own Dragon Radar way back in the day. It wasn't as sophisticated as Bulma's, but it goes to show that Pilaf knows his way around technology. This isn't some new thing they slapped onto his character, like Trunks suddenly being afraid of ghosts.

For a second, it looks like Goten and Trunks are discovered by the Alphas, but it turns out Trunks' pals from school have snuck into the production floor, and they're the ones who get discovered, so Trunks has to go in and save them. Except his superhero wristwatch malfunctions, so Goten has to take out the lights to cover for him.

Trunks cleans house, even defeating Alpha 12, who was the strongest guy on Hedo's team. When Hedo himself arrives to find his base wrecked, his only clue is that it was trashed by someone who goes to "Blue Hal" High School. It's a major setback for Hedo, but what really upsets him is that Trunks took an important disc from his safe. Hedo wants to recover it above all else. Ironically, Trunks isn't even that concerned about the disc, since all he really cares about is disrupting whatever Hedo was doing to the Helper Robots. That way he can get his date with Mai, except it won't. Even more ironically, Mai still has to work on Saturday night, because she and the Pilaf Gang have to repair all the Helper Robots Trunks smashed in Hedo's base. Whoops!

Later, Trunks tries to use Bulma's computer to access the data on the disc he took from Hedo's sushi packaging shop. He briefly sees information related to Cell, but he doesn't recognize its significance, probably because he only knows Cell from hearing about it through his family. Anyway, the disc gives the computer a virus, which Bulla removes because that's her big character defining moment in this story. She's basically a carbon copy of Kid Bulma from the Jaco manga, but at least she's not another Cleangod fan.

Anyway, Bulma had decided to start sending Mai to school along with Trunks. Apparently she realized it might be awkward if anyone noticed Mai working for Capsule Corp. and not going to school. This just now came up? I mean, the Pilaf Gang have been here for a few years at least. If anything, it would have been more awkward when Mai was younger, right? I mean, I get it, this is just a way to get Mai involved in the story, but still...

There's also another new student in Trunks' class: Baytah. Trunks' friend Rulah takes an immediate liking to him, but this is pretty clearly a new android created by Dr. Hedo. The Alpha series was no match for Saiyaman X-1, so he created a new Beta class to infiltrate Blue Hal High School and find out who X-1 really is. Beta begins to suspect Trunks, since he displays some above-average performance on the basketball court, but he can't find a way to prove it without giving himself away.

So here we have this weird scene where they're getting soup for lunch, and Trunks is sad that he can't get extra. Then Beta pretends to trip or something, and throws his soup into the air. I guess the idea was that Trunks would have to use super powers to dodge it, or he'd get it all over his nice school clothes. But instead Trunks just sort of shifts to one side and the soup miraculously lands in his bowl. And he's happy because he gets extra soup? How does it all fit in one bowl, though? Is the lunch lady only filling them up halfway? This whole bit is really contrived, is what I'm trying to say.

Somewhere along the way, Mai figures it out and explains it to Trunks, so they know Beta is looking for Saiyaman X-1. So he knows to be careful about showing off his powers, but Goten just picks up a truck during recess to get a tennis ball back for his classmates. See, Trunks, this is how you get the ladies. Mai is like 55 years old. She doesn't care, but if you pick up a truck or two, all these teenage girls will go wild. Right now, these two girls are thinking about how much they wish they were trucks, being held in Goten's mightly-yet-gentle hand.

Anyway, now Beta is convinced that Goten is the one he's after, and Hedo tells him to attack and get the disc.

So Beta reveals he has a goofy superhero suit of his own, but Goten can't fight seriously because he doesn't have a transformation watch yet. Fortunately, Trunks does, so he shows up as X-1 and quickly slips Goten the new watch Pilaf must have made last night.

I'm not thrilled with Beta's design, but I like the concept. Faced with both Saiyamen, he deploys Beta 2, which is a robotic exosuit that can separate and fight in two modules. The Betas are here for the disc, but neither Goten or Trunks has it. Mai does, because Trunks gave her his bag while he ran off to pee or whatever excuse he had to switch costumes.

So Trunks has to save Mai from the Betas, and as he catches her, she briefly mistakes him for Future Trunks, the only version of Trunks Mai seems to have any interest in. The Saiyamen clean house, and the day is saved. Trunks very nearly tells Mai that he was X-1 all along, but Goten stops him before he can spill the beans in front of the whole school.

Okay, but what's the point? I mean, Goten just lifted a truck with one hand a minute ago? More importantly, Great Saiyaman was revealed to be Goten about ten years earlier. Not that I expect these students to remember that, but that's my point: Gohan was worried about everyone finding out he had super powers, and in the end no one cared.

I mean, there's still the matter of not wanting Bulma and Chi-Chi to find out what they're up to, but that sort of doesn't matter? I mean, the moms just want their kids to study more and screw around less. It doesn't really matter if they're playing superhero or going fishing. Their moms know they aren't studying, because they've got the report cards to prove it.

Back at Hedo's (other) base, he realizes he underestimated the Saiyamen, and realizes that he'll have to build even better androids to defeat them. And he's taken a liking to the Saiyamen's costumes, particularly their capes, so the implication here is that the Gammas' designs were inspired by Goten and Trunks' antics in this story.

Later, we finally get to that convenience store we saw briefly in Super Hero. Hedo still needs money, especially if he plans to build something to defeat the Saiyamen, so he puts three of his Alphas to work at the "Mammal Mart". It's Krillin who makes the bust, and for some reason Mai is there too.

Despite his lofty plans for better androids, the best Hedo can manage is to send more Beta series androids after Goten and Trunks. Beta 7 looks like an Elvis impersonator, and he intercepts Goten's school bus, but Goten changes into X-2 and beats him. Apparently this sort of thing has been going on for a while now.

Mai takes Goten aside and reveals to him that they're being watched by a tiny spy-robot. After the Beta-1 incident at school, Mai investigated and learned that Dr. Hedo is a famous scientist in the area, and she believes he's behind all of this. Apparently he's already figured out Goten and Trunks are the Saiyamen, since he's been sending Beta androids to harass them.

Mai's plan is to defeat Hedo by using the school dance to lure him into a trap. The organizers have arranged for a live appearance by Cleangod at the dance, which... seems kind of odd for a high school dance, but nothing about this super-hero business really makes any sense to me.

Like, okay... I've been a comic book fan for over thirty years. I just read a bunch of Golden Age Captain Americas a few months ago. I think I know the genre pretty well, and nothing Dragon Ball Super does with the concept really rings true to me.

In the first place, the Dragon Ball characters are already superheroes. I went from Batman to Superman to Marvel to Dragon Ball Z, and it was a pretty smooth transition. I never stopped liking the other stuff that came before, so it's not like my tastes changed all that much. I just see DBZ as a natural extension of the same stuff I liked in Marvel and DC.

It made sense when Gohan became Great Saiyaman because the only trope he hadn't done yet was the secret identity thing, and the only reason it had never come up before was that he'd never needed one before then. Once he got into high school, he suddenly had friends he wanted to keep secrets from, so he did the same thing Clark Kent did in 1938.

But then you have Goten and Trunks doing it because they think it's neat, and they're fans of Cleangod, who is a fictional character to them. And this is probably because Hedo was doing the same bit in the movie, where he would wear a costume and do the poses because he was imitating other fictional superheroes. So the idea seems to be less about the superhero genre as I know it, and more of this ironic "Let's be comic book nerds and do cosplay, and also we have super powers so we can do more than just pose in the suits."

Which... fine, I guess. The thing is, I don't understand the fascination with Cleangod. I mean, it makes sense for Hedo to be an enormous fanboy, because he's a nerdy scientist. I'm a nerdy scientist, so I can relate. He wants Cleangod's autograph, and I'm running an anime blog in my late 40's.

But Goten and Trunks are not nerds. Neither, it seems, are most of their classmates. They all seem like fairly normal teens, mostly interested in dates and school stuff and snooping around abandoned factories or whatever. But this high school dance is going to feature a live appearance by a man in a superhero costume. That's the sort of thing a circus would do to get small children to show up.

Is this an ironic thing? Like, did Goten and Trunks start out thinking Cleangod was cringy kidstuff, and they just kept getting deeper into the fandom until they started liking it for real? Is that what's happening?

Sorry, I was explaining Mai's plan. Okay, so Cleangod will be doing a meet-and-greet at a high school dance party. Okay. Dr. Hedo is a huge mark for Cleangod, so Mai is certain he will crash the party just to meet Cleangod and get his autograph. And she plans to be there when he does, so she can shut him down once and for all.

And she gets to go to this dance, because she's attending with...

...Trunks. He wanted to ask her to this thing, but she asked him instead, so he's all a-flutter over this, never realizing that she's just using him to get at Hedo. Except.... she's attending this school now. She doesn't need a date to get in. Hedo is the one who has to find some way to get access to the building, because he's not a student.

I like Mai's armor in this scene, although it really never comes into play. Also, Trunks brought Hedo's disc with him, because.... I have no idea. Maybe he doesn't want to risk losing it?

As expected, Hedo does show up for this thing, and I guess it's because Beta-1 is still registered as a student? I'm more confused about this signing event in the middle of a dance floor. This just feels like a hot mess. Trunks and Hedo bond over their mutual love of Cleangod... wait, I thought Trunks was excited about getting to go on a date with Mai? Priorities, Trunks!

Anyway, Hedo confides to Trunks that he had a Cleangod autograph before, but it was stolen, so he's here to get another one. Hold on, doesn't Hedo know Trunks is X-1? I mean, he was sending androids after Goten, so he must know he's X-2, right?

Mai tries to get Hedo, but then Beta shows up, and Rulah explains that he got back into the school, so she asked him to the dance. I really like Rulah. She doesn't know what's going on, but there's a new boy in town and she's gonna make time with him. She's like an Archie character.

Then the cops show up. Yeah, just draw your guns in a big crowd of children, Krillin, that makes a ton of sense.

Hedo uses a smokebomb to escape and everyone chases after him. By the time Cleangod comes out to make his big appearance, everyone is gone except Mai, who isn't impressed. That's the thing I can't square with all of this. The running gag seems to be that superheroes are both cool and uncool at the same time. People were lining up to see this guy, but the punchline is that he totally sucks? I guess? Characters will praise Goten and Trunks' costumes and then later characters will call them corny.

Like, which is it? That's the thing about superhero comics, at least from my perspective. In the real world, you either think Batman's awesome or he's a giant dork in a fursuit. Fine. But in the Batman mythos, just about everyone takes him seriously because he's a mysterious badass. I get it, Cleangod's basically Adam West working car-shows in the 1970's, but Saiyaman X-1 and X-2 are the real thing. They fought robots in the middle of the football field in front of everyone. I mean, no one called Goten corny when he lifted that truck.

Oh, by the way, Dr. Hedo's jalopy is awesome.

Krillin (reluctantly) brings Goten and Trunks along to chase down Hedo, and he fills them in on the situation. The cops have been after Hedo because they think the Red Ribbon Army is trying to stage a comback and they want to contact him. That.... doesn't quite square with the movie, but we'll talk about that later.

Anyway, they get to Hedo's (third?) base and he's got a dinosaur android to stop them. This is the biggest, strongest one he's made so far, but it's still not very sophisticated, simply because Hedo lacks the resources to build anything better.

It gives the Bio-Broly Buster Crew a little trouble, but Krillin disables it with a kienzan, and then Goten and Trunks take it out with a double-team move. And Hedo's going to jail.

So what about that disc? Turns out it never mattered. Hedo memorized all the information on it a long time ago, so the disc itself had no value to him. What he wanted was the case, which contained, in addition to the disc, his prized Cleangod autograph. Remember? The one he told Trunks got stolen? They didn't know it at the time, but Trunks was the one who stole it in Chapter 88.

And that's really dumb, because Trunks did try to investigate the disc in Chapter 89. He didn't get very far, but he still had to open the case it was in, so you'd think he would have noticed the Cleangod autograph inside. I mean, another character might not have paid any attention to it, but Trunks is a huge fan of Cleangod himself.

And if Hedo truly had no use for the disc, why didn't he throw it away a long time ago? In this scene, he says he discarded it, but he must have only done that in the last few minutes, before Krillin showed up to arrest him, since Trunks had the disc before the dance. This whole thing is supposed to be clever, but it's kind of dumb.

Anyway, this whole caper explains how Hedo got sentenced to prison at the beginning of Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero. He could have been given a longer sentence, but according to this story, he agreed to return some of the Alphas back to the families of the corpses he built them out of. This is supposed to be funny, but it's just kind of bizarre. Like, are we saying Hedo resurrected the corpses? I thought the idea was he just used a dead body to build Alpha 12. But this seems to suggest Alpha 12 remembers his former existence. That's kind of fucked up.

Like I said at the beginning, there's a lot that is well done here. Toyotaro's art is on-point as usual, and there's some great action scene with Goten and Trunks. I think the big highlight of the arc were all of the side characters we see at their school, like Rulah and the others. Trunks' math teacher looked pretty cool. The problem is that they were never going to be the focus of this or any other story. It's taken years for Toei or Shueisha to do anything with Goten or Trunks, so their pals may never see the light of day again.

And that's what disappoints me about this arc, because it may have been the one chance of getting a good teen Goten and Trunks arc, and they blew it on this. Did we really need a backstory on Hedo's prison sentence? Did anyone leave the theater not understanding why he was in jail? Was anyone confused as to how he came up with the designs for Gamma 1 and 2's costumes? No. We didn't need this.

One of these days, there will be an official Big Goten story that gets it right. But this ain't it, chief.

[atypical-artisan]

I heard your taking hc requests, so I'd love to know how it would be like if little Mac spent time with any of the boxers (also happy belated birthday!)

Thanks! And sorry this is like a week late- I got busy lmao.

Anyways! Wee fun mac hc time!!

Joe: Mac and Joe hanging out would be 1 of 2 options. Either they're going to a small bookstore and then a coffee shop just to chill n read. Or Mac is dragging Joe to his friend's house so they can all watch scurry movies with his goth buds. No in between and both enjoy both options equally.

Kaiser: Field trip. Literally, that's it. Kaiser would treat Mac like one of his students and take him to a museum or something. Mind you, it isn't a BORING museum- probably something sports related if anything- but it's not exactly what Mac pictured when he asked to hang out. They also get pizza and ice cream for lunch :)

Disco: Hanging out at Disco's place and just playing. They spend most of the time being silly with instruments and then wind down with some Mario party or something.

Hippo: Mac would end up learning a new language OR they'd end up playing with all of Hippo's hot wheels. Hippo is a big linguistics guy and Mac likes to listen to people talk so Mac would just end up sitting quietly the whole time while Hippo infodumps stuff at him. Hippo would also feed him and let him play with the hot wheels in his house if he's careful.

Hondo: They'd make cosplays and watch anime together! Mac's a p observant guy so he'd pick up on Hondo's sewing machine, ask about it, and they'd end up building some Naruto stuff from spare fabric from there. Lotsa fun!! They'd also go to a bunch of sushi restruants and try all they're stuff- til they're sick at least lol.

Bear: Hiking and magic animal adventures the whole way! Mac's a city kid through and through so the woods freak him out a bit- good thing Bear and his animal friends are there to ease his fears! Mac also ends up learning a lot about the ecosystem and plant life around where Bear lives so bonus points for cool learning stuff.

Tiger: Tiger would probably bore Mac with trying to teach him chess at first before switching to showing him how he makes his music. He'd also convince the boy to watch mlp with him and they'd just binge it until Doc calls asking where his boy is. Tiger would probably accidentally teach Mac poker. Whoops.

Don: Don would take him to a street fair or a market and IMMEDIATELY lose him. He'd spend the next 5 hours trying to hunt him down and end up finding him less than a foot of where he last saw him. After that, hand-holding is mandatory. They'd also get gelato together and watch Carmen do her clown shtick (Don won't shut up about how wonderful she is lol)!

Aran: Aran would treat him like one of his younger siblings and keep a hard eye on him. He'd take mac to an age and sensory appropriate place, so probably an art fair or a festival that he can easily escape if he needs to. He also makes sure Mac is fed a hearty meal, drinks water, and has as much fun as possible. No way in hell is he gonna get caught being an irresponsible adult when they're together. He's also teach Mac an artsy thing or two (Basic painting, welding, sculpting, etc.)

Soda: Soda would definitely be an irresponsible adult around Mac and overfill him with fun things. They'd go to a big ass amusement or water park together, eat nothing but soda and sugar, and they'd fuck around until they're left overstimulated and sick. Doc and/or Bull has to come and pick them up.

Bull: Inside activities ONLY. No way is Bull going out. But they end up having fun with puzzles and making friendship bracelets. They play Mario kart and then some more chill games and get pizza too!

Macho: Swimming all day for sure. Mac doesn't know how to swim so Macho ends up having to teach him the basics but they have fun either way. And after they're all done and sunburnt, they go inside and play halo and drink capri sun until Doc picks Mac up.

Sandy: Another responsible adult! He wouldn't have much of a plan per se, so him and Mac would end up goofing off in random parts of whatever city they're in- going to parks, the zoo, a museum, whatever until they're tuckered out.

[neoyi]

For the ask game: King Knight for 002? He's a pretty divisive character so I'd like to hear your thoughts on him.

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: King Knight is very easy to shit on whenever I make comics with this guy, I'll say straight up. And it's not because I hate him, he's just so thoroughly unable to see the forest from the trees that his shtick, that of a witless idiot who nonetheless powers through out of sheer determination and ignorance, is arguably his funniest quality and his most fascinating. Being a King means being a leader, to be charismatic, beloved, and benevolent by working for the people. On paper, King probably models this in his head, but in practice, he's every argument for the follies of monarchy. He's bad at what he does, but he's so damn good at everything else he puts his mind to it. Little things we see in the game: *He's handy, having built a makeshift throne on his bed frame. *He's proficient with animals, with the propeller rats taking to him and vice versa. *He IS charismatic and Doesn't Afraid of Anything. Along with his physical strength and pride, he's an unstoppable force. *This is more gameplay segregation than anything (and you can also cheat), but King is, also, apparently, a really damn good Joustus player. ALL of these are talented and worthy of note and if King can just see what he IS good at versus what he isn't, he'd go a lot further in life that would simultaneously benefit him and those around him. The comedy and tragedy is in knowing he doesn't and refuses. King of Cards is the most lighthearted SK game in the series, but only so it hits you with that much more punch in terms of disappointment and expected frustration that you, the player, might feel by the end. Like you know what is to come, but I think, judging by people's reaction (both in-game and by players), they still felt betrayed by his actions. Hey, that's not a bad reaction for a prequel to have. (On a slightly related note though, I am very much ready to move on from SK prequels/midquels though.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I flirted with the idea of King/Bard, but ultimately, I think King isn't in a position where romance is a factor in his life (yet.) I think he needs to work on himself first. If he can't handle his own mommy dating another man because he's too self-absorbed and (though he may not admit it) reliant on her, then he has no chance in hell dating anyone successfully. Basically, King Knight? You're, like, 33 years old. Stop acting a 12-year-old.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: This question kind of confuses me? As in, who is this guy's bestest buddy in the whole world? The person King loves the most, but purely in either a familial or friendly platonic sense? In which case? Hmm. Honestly? I really do like the relationship he has with his mom. It is genuinely sweet this goober has such a loving parental figure in his life (one he takes for granted), and I'd like to see a potential Shovel Knight 2 revisit that. Course, I also think King Mom needs a bit more than just "mom." Furniture and objects in King Knight's house (and the, granted, April Fool's joke, tabletop RPG sheet for SK) implied she was once an adventurer, notably the aircraft. I'd like to hope we get to see more of that side of her. (Note: Though I think ycg also stated that aircraft belonged to King's father, which may or may not be a future plot they're planting for themselves, but it'd be super lame if this went to yet another male role. I like King Mom and I love that she has her own autonomy to date whoever she wants regardless of her son's whining, but ultimately... she's A Mom, and it'd be a shame if the materials around her household could not validate her own spirited side.)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Not necessarily the character, but his campaign. King of Cards is a worthy send-off to Treasure Trove, serving as a riveting finale until the inevitable Shovel Knight 2 potentially refreshes the franchise and takes it to newer courses. It is also an overwhelming, bloated game. It felt like they added as much content as they could in order to send it off with a flair, with not as much restraint as the previous entries. And ycg's resistance to any storyline past Shovel of Hope meant by the time KoC came out, the plot beat that occurred in the latter felt constrained by its prequel nature: coincidentally frustrating at its best and unnecessary explanation of certain scenarios and situations at its worst.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Well, actually, what I want him to do is get over himself and realize he's not fit to be King, but he can choose to be someone else and do a better job, but that's likely future sequel material. But also, even when he is at his best, I love the idea that he is still just a wee bit delusional and/or prideful. Don't want to get rid of too much of his general character trait. In which case, he's not a self-serving glory hog. He's a glory hog who has well intention.

my OTP: See second question answered above.

my cross over ship: N/A

a headcanon fact: I like the idea of King Knight actually having a college degree in, like engineering, or something S M A R T. But he either uses it for his one-tracked mind to be King or not at all, so it shocks everyone (or Tinker, at least) when he can repair or build machinery. Doesn't have to be engineering, just something unexpected that you absolutely wouldn't think this fucker would know, but he does, and it ends up being useful.

⭐(Ask Me for my Hot Takes on fictional characters! https://neoyi.tumblr.com/post/739152893490364416/estelanel-001-send-me-a-ship-and-i-will-tell) ⭐

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Interpersonal Aftermath, Abigail and Patrick Edition

Ben and Patrick | Ben and Abigail | Ben and Riley | Riley and Abigail

"I don’t think there’s whole articles worth of material here (I hope) but let’s spend a few minutes with each these."

My dumb ass really did think I was going to fit three different duos into this article and be done with this little series because there "wasn't much to say" about them.

I have found some things to say.

So anyway, now we get into the tertiary relationships. These are duos that don't directly interact much in the movie, but will find themselves increasingly in each others' orbits at the post-movie relationships progress.

Abigail and Patrick

Abigail and Patrick have an interesting dynamic because although they don’t interact on screen very much, their positions relative to Ben also put them in relationship with each other, and they have pretty far to go between the events of the film and the months after the treasure is found.

Patrick and Abigail’s meeting is both iconic (in the National Treasure loving world anyway) and pretty hostile.

PATRICK Is she pregnant? BEN Well, if she is, are you gonna leave the woman carrying your grandchild standing out in the cold? ABIGAIL (to Riley) I look pregnant?

Granted, that hostility is directed toward Ben, and Abigail just happens to be caught in the crossfire.

Patrick’s first assumptions about Abigail are that:

she’s some floozy Ben got involved with (bad)

she’s a fellow treasure hunter (worse)

He might soften towards her a little when he learns that she doesn’t actually want to be here.

PATRICK And he dragged you two into this nonsense? ABIGAIL Literally.

However, it’s like three minutes of screen time later when Abigail makes the decision to actively involve herself in the treasure hunt (which she does by insisting that she be the one to put lemon juice on the Declaration).

Patrick is mostly focused on Ben and the fact that his son has gone from ‘ruined his life treasure hunting’ to Ruined His Life Treasure Hunting™. But Abigail is there and she is involved and he probably doesn’t need any more that that to dislike her.

Abigail, for her part, gets kidnapped, flung from a speeding van, and semi-re-kidnapped before insisting she come along to make sure these clowns don’t destroy a priceless artifact and now the guy who she was kinda flirting with before she knew he was trying to rob her museum’s dad is yelling at her? I mean he’s not yelling. He’s not even talking to her directly, but the disappointment is palpable. She just stepped in the middle of what’s clearly a big family drama and she can’t help but feel she’s on the wrong side of it, no matter where she positions herself.

And obviously Patrick’s comment is weird enough that she makes a point to ask Ben about it later.

So the footing their start out on is not exactly great.

They survive the Trinity stair sequence together, and there’s nothing like shared trauma to bond a squad, but they’re really both bonding with Ben, not each other. As we discussed in the Ben and Patrick and Ben and Abigail articles, these two relationships are the emotional pivots that a lot of the movie hinges on.

As Ben and Abigail get closer, Abigail and Patrick are going to have to get over the hurdle of awkwardness they started out on. Patrick especially has some biases to overcome about Abigail. Of course, all he has to do is talk to her for a few minutes to see that she is basically the opposite of the person he thought she was when she showed up at his door:

not a floozy

not a treasure hunter

not just a fling for Ben

not just enamored with Ben’s Indiana Jones shtick*

(*Patrick would know, he’s was Ben before Ben was)

Actually, pretty must as soon as they start talking Abigail and Patrick realize they have a lot in common. They could debate Revolutionary War history until even Ben gets bored. Abigail and Patrick both have a taste for the detail and nuance in a way that Ben doesn’t. Or, I should say, in a different way than Ben does.

Ben is necessarily obsessive about details relating to the treasure, but I don’t see him being quite as detail-oriented with topics that don’t touch the treasure. Ben is a big picture person. He sees the connections between disparate events and people, the threads that tie it all together. Abigail, and Patrick in his post-treasure hunting years, are more depth people. They can focus in on a very specific topic not because it connects to something else, but simply because it interests them.

Ben, for example, would probably not read a 400 page book about 18th century textiles cover to cover if he didn’t anticipate some kind of connection to the treasure. Abigail absolutely would and has read several 400 page books about 18th century textiles cover to cover long before she knew the treasure existed.

However, the question is, when do Abigail and Patrick have that first conversation?

I imagine it’s not right away. Too much is going on with the treasure and with both of them re/building their relationships with Ben. So that awkwardness between them festers for a little too long. It isn’t until after a few museum exhibit openings and more than a few uncomfortable non-conversations when they actually start talking to each other.

By the time Ben and Abigail start officially dating a few months later though, I imagine Patrick is Team Abigail all the way.

And, though I do love to ignore the existence of Book of Secrets, I do like how much Patrick is still on Team Abigail after the breakup.

BEN Temporary till I find a new place. PATRICK Find the old one. I like her.

He can tell that Ben's being an idiot. Everyone can tell that Ben's being an idiot.

[teagballs]

could you write something for Dee Reynolds x female reader where she basically has been telling the gang for a really long time that she has a partner but none of them believe her but when she refuses to flirt with someone for one of their schemes, the gang decides to follow her and find out she really does have a partner and it’s a girl

love your writing 💕

the gang finds out dee likes girls | dee reynolds x reader

authors note: oh boy this has been sitting in my drafts for SOOOO LONG. finished it tonight. i love dee sm she's so pretty. i hope this lives up to ur request anon!! as always requests are open, trying to make my way thru them rn sorry sorry things have been hectic as always. love u folks

cw: slight objectification of women if u squint, fem reader.

╭──╯ . . . . .

"No, it's true, I'm dating someone!" Dee protested. But as usual, her rebuttals fell on deaf ears.

Currently, the gang was arguing with Dee on whether or not she had a partner.

"No way, Dee. There's no way you have a boyfriend. Hell, we've never even seen him! Honestly, lying about this for so long? It's really pathetic." Her brother chewed.

"Whatever. Screw you guys, at least I'm happy." Dee said before taking another sip of the beer she was nursing.

She'd been dating her girlfriend for nearly a year, but Dee should've known the gang wouldn't believe her. Every time Dee brought up this lover, she'd been shut down. Although she'd grown accustomed to the usual berating she'd receive on the daily, but this was just plain annoying. In the gang's defence, they hadn't actually seen this infamous partner. That was because Dee was dating a woman, and she had yet to reveal her sexuality. Even though the gang was pretty lax with Mac being gay, it would still be a big thing to reveal to them. Dee wasn't exactly prepared for that. She hoped it would just happen naturally.

When Dee entered the bar the following day, though, the gang had a demand of her. They were all crowded around the island, perched on stools.

"Dee! There you are. Where the hell have you been? We need you for this." Dennis groaned.

"Busy. I have a life outside of this bar y"know?" Dee exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, sure you do, Dee," Charlie dismissed.

"Whatever. We need you for this. You need to distract the security guard. Use your womanly woes, get your tits out." Dennis explained.

"What? I'm not doing that."

"Why not? You love the attention Dee don't lie to yourself," Mac chimed in.

"I do not! Guys, you know I have a... partner now, I'm not gonna flirt with some random guy." Dee danced around using the word partner. Obviously, she couldn't say 'girlfriend', but 'partner' sounded wrong. Sounded old.

"Dee, you really have to give this whole 'I'm in a healthy relationship' shtick up. It's a bad look. Really, it's pitiable and just sad!" Dennis insisted.

"Oh, shut up. I'm not doing that, Dennis." Dee huffed and hopped off her stool, storming out of the bar.

She dialled her girlfriend's number as she walked to her car, "Hey babe, can I come over? The gang are being shitheads, as usual. I miss you."

"Of course you can, Dee!" You mused in response. And with that, Dee made her way to your apartment.

"Well, that's just great. Without her, the plan really falls apart." Dennis grumbled.

After a brief silence, Charlie wondered, "It's weird, isn't it? That Dee always says "partner" instead of boyfriend? Like, I don't know what if it's not a boyfriend." Silence again as the gang contemplated. Then, scrambling as the gang came to the collective realisation that they needed to find out just who this "partner" was.

Your door swung open, and you were greeted by your favourite blonde in the entire world.

"Hey gorgeous," Dee bleated in a deary tone.

"Hi Dee," you smiled sweetly at her, a smile that seemed to make her worries and grievances melt away. She flumped down on the couch. You pulled a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"Rough day?" You ask softly.

"The worst," Dee replied before nestling her head on your shoulder. You bring your hand up to stroke her locks sympathetically as you wait for her to explain.

"It's just the gang." Dee began, "I've been telling them I'm dating someone, they don't believe me because, y'know, they haven't seen you. But it's hard cause I haven't revealed that part of myself to them yet. And I want to! But I just don't know how." Dee sighed.

Second after she spoke, almost as if it was fate, there was a loud patter of feet running up your apartment hall, then;

"GOT YOU!" annouced by an enthusiastic Charlie. In front of the pair of you stood Charlie, Dennis, Mac, and Frank, all bundled together in your small space.

"What the hell are you guys doing!" Dee stammered, bewildered. She stood up now, hands on her hips. You sat awkwardly behind them, twiddling your thumbs as you waited for some sort of explanation.

"We got you, Dee! We followed you with the tracking app I have for you, found you at this apartment building, went through like 3 apartments before we got to the right one and found you! With a girlfriend!" Dennis explained.

Dee pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled, trying to process the information,

"So- what- why does- wait, tracking app?" She scrambled.

"Doesn't matter! Cause we found out the truth, you like girls!" Mac said in an accusatory tone, which was somewhat ironic.

"So what?" Dee stated blankly.

"Well, ah, nothing really, I suppose..." Charlie trailed.

"Yeah, this doesn't really change anything," Frank agreed, mostly uninterested.

"So, you guys don't care?" Dee questioned.

"No. Not at all, actually. This is way less interesting than we thought. Alright, let's get out of here, guys. We can still get that plan to work without the bird." Dennis directed. The gang chambered out of the apartment once more.

Dee stumbled back onto the sofa.

"What the fuck just happened?" She mumbled.

"I think you just came out to the gang." You replied.

. . . . . ╰──╮

[teaveetamer]

hell, there was a thread (now deleted I think) on r/fe3h that just shows how bullshit their whole “we’re innocent and haven’t done anything wrong, the big bad Dimitri stans just want to harass us over nothing!!” shtick is. There was one particular comment that basically called all Dimitri fans mentally ill, and if they’re not mentally ill, they’re just horny or centrists or misogynists

I think the fact that I got genocide "jokes" on my "which anime man would you bang" post should tell you everything you need to know about how "innocently" and "harmlessly" some of these people are behaving.

Heck, the fact that the person who made those jokes not only was allowed to stay in their discord server for weeks afterward, but was barely admonished for their behavior (the tone of it was literally "quit making us look bad" instead of, idk, "jokes about genocide aren't fucking funny and this is completely unacceptable behavior") before they just. moved on and started talking about Ignatz builds. That should tell you everything you need to know.

And yeah, there have been a lot of threads like that on the 3H subreddit. That's explicitly why I don't go there, because it's such a fucking cesspool overflowing with ableism and harassment. Heck, the guy who got banned from r/FE for saying Dimitri shouldn't be allowed to have children because he's mentally ill is still allowed to post there. That's just straight up Nazi shit, right? They let people who say that kind of shit be there.

That's actually why I don't go to the Engage subreddit either. Same top mod, and you can bet your ass I don't fucking trust that person to run a healthy community after I've seen what goes on in the 3H sub. And it's not like they aren't aware of some serious problems in their subreddit!

A while back some dude posted a thread that was dripping with misogyny and ableism. Basically "girlies you can't fix Dimitri, if he were real he'd be on drugs and beat you."

This dude posted this to r/FE, r/FE3H, and r/FEH. And guess what? The r/FEH mods took it down within an hour. The r/FE mods took it down within a few hours. The r/FE3H mods? That post was up for days despite numerous community members complaining and reporting it and requesting it be taken down, and I think they only took it down because they started getting a lot of pushback from the women of the community. If people hadn't complained, it would probably still be up.

And then the guy decided it was his job to go onto basically every Dimitri post across the site and demand people explain to him how they could ever love this wife beating psycho. Including, and I'm not kidding, random people's FEH build showcases.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. If you empower people like that to be part of your communities, then they will be emboldened to spread their bigotry further. They will become your community, whether you like it or not.

[fave-fight]

ROUND 2, MATCH 44

NO MAGIC, POWERS, WEAPONS, OR ADDITIONAL HELP FROM OTHERS

Isabelle:

“She's in Smash, also she's best friends with Doom Guy”

“She's probably got some pent up rage about being stuck with mayor duties, especially when the player neglects the games. She's cute and this tournament need more women. I'm so happy someone else thought about her, too.”

“If she can hold her own in Smash she can hold her own here. She deserves the chance let loose too. Let her wreck some people!”

Floyd Leech:

“If he stays in human form and has no mage stones, he's just Some Guy, so he still qualifies. This mafia motherfucker would FIGHT. One time when faced with a monster, everyone else was like "oh no, we need magic" and he was like "nah, let's punch it" and then he DID. He hasn't used his pointy teeth in canon yet, but he could in theory bite someone if necessary, and it would hurt like a bitch. He'd fight dirty, I just know it. Let him punch everything and then get punched in the face, it'd be so great.”

“This guy is a menace who almost never uses weapons or tools to terrorize people. He's strong and athletic, smart enough to get what he wants on a whim, and squeezes contract-breakers until they faint on a regular basis.”

“NOTE: Floyd is a magic boy, but the “no mage stone” thing is there because it means he won’t be able to use magic, because people in Twisted Wonderland can’t without accumulating deadly magic toxin unless they have the stones. He’s also a merman, but he’d be in his human form. His human form does have pointy teeth (like the anime character kind) but I’m not sure if they have any real effect in game other than to intimidate people. Other people in this game have them too who are allegedly “human.” And again, plenty of “human” anime characters have them. Myfeeling is that they shouldn’t be disqualifying on their own.  This game is about magic boys at a magic school, but don’t worry, they get into traditional fist-fights so often it’s literally a randomly generated event that can happen in your Guest Room space. And Floyd Leech would never use magic in a fist-fight. He’d think that was “no fun” or “totally lame.” His signature magical spell just nullifies other people’s magic that targets him… so he can fight them with his fists. Since no one else here has magic, it’s totally irrelevant.  Also I’m not sure he uses fists so much as he does something to his opponents that he describes as “squeezing” them. I don’t know entirely what he means by that when he’s in his human form, but how much it scares the faceless NPC students indicates to me that he’s found a way to make it work. I do know it’s supposed to have a whole mafia vibe to it. Because his dad (and his childhood friend he lowkey sort-of works for) have real mafia boss energy. And Floyd’s basically decided that if he’s going to do this mafia shtick it’s Capo or bust. Floyd doesn’t always feel like doing stuff, due to his wildly unpredictable mood swings, but it honestly seems like the thing he can most easily be convinced to do is beat the shit out of people. During the “Beanfest” event (which was somewhat analogous to a paintball match), he insisted on throwing his weapon away and beating up aforementioned childhood friend even though the game was over and he’d already lost, just because apparently “once Floyd has decided to fight nothing can be done about it" and you just have to fight him if you want to get on with the rest of your day. He’d started out that event “not really in the mood” but somehow ended up spending the entire day beating the hell out of every person he ran into. In the camping event, when all of the boys were being picked off by a monster in the woods one at a time and were panicking because they didn’t have magestones or cellphones and therefore couldn’t defend themselves with magic or call an adult for help, Floyd was literally just like “why don’t we just beat the shit out of it?” And then he DID. And it was awesome.  But before you think he’s just some sort of dumb thug, let me assure you that Floyd is actually one of Night Raven’s most intelligent students. He has a photographic memory and can create valuable gems in alchemy class with minimal effort. Unfortunately, his mood swings make it impossible for him to maintain a decent GPA. But he’s actually a smart, tactical fighter. He’s just violent and unstable. Oh and if you’re wondering, his personality is generally abrasive and confrontational. He regularly starts arguments with the most volatile people at the school, just to mess with them and see where it goes because he’s bored.  Finally, if it sweetens the deal for anyone, Floyd would wear some killer designer shoes to this fight. Don’t worry, they wouldn’t be dangerous/weaponized. They’d just be expensive and custom made. You know, so he can get upset when someone scuffs them up.  Like for real, is there anyone who deserves to be in a crazy bitch fist-fight more than a moody mafia prince who’s secretly some sort of genius, but seems to only truly love fighting and designer footwear? If there is, I can’t think of them. ”