#and like. being an adult not knowing where major countries or continents are is.. embarrassing

[fagdykefriendship]

just because you’re american and didn’t have like geography class or whatever doesn’t mean you’re incapable of ever looking at a world map i’m constantly baffled by americans who say that it’s bc of our school system that they don’t know where other countries are. like.

[airis-paris14]

Starlight 6

Summary: Amani is an orphaned heiress who’s spent most of her life raising her younger sister. T’Challa is a widowed King and Father. Neither of them is expecting much from their night at the Lotus. But the coming months have many milestones in store for these young adults. Will becoming a family be one of them?

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7

“So where are you going?” Madiyson pestered her friend. It was 4:30 and Amani knew T’Challa would be here in exactly an hour. She quickly picked up the pace. She still had to take down her twist out and style it. “He said he’s just taking me out to dinner and then a surprise after.” Amani stood up from her vanity and walked into the bathroom. Madiyson had kept her word and spent the night. “With a man like that, the surprise could be diamonds sis,” Madiyson exclaimed as she fell back on Amani’s bed. “I’m pretty sure it’s not diamonds,” the heiress laughed. “How do you know?” Madiyson sat up, watching her friend delicately untwist her strands of hair. “I don’t but I hope not. I’d have to give them back.” Amani shrugged. They sat in silence as Amani finished untwisting and fluffing her hair.

“You really like him don’t you,” Madiyson asked. Amani paused her search for her red silk headwrap. She glanced up at her friend, “I really do.”

“I can tell, you’re willing to give back diamonds,” Madiyson teased. “Shut up,” Amani laughed, throwing one of the headwraps at her. Diamonds had always been Amani’s favorite jewel and all of her friends knew it. It wasn’t that she owned a lot of diamonds, but she was very vocal about her love of jewelry. It wasn’t rare for her to get excited and show her friends a video from a jeweler’s Instagram. The only two diamonds she owned had been gifted by her parents. Her first diamond was a necklace gifted to her when she turned 16. The second was a pair of diamond drop earrings given to her on her eighteenth birthday. Her parents had continued the tradition for Amare as well, but it would be up to Amani to purchase the diamond for her 18th birthday that was coming soon. She made a mental note to start looking for diamond earrings.

“I just don’t want him to think I’m with him for what he can give me. We aren’t in an exclusive relationship, and most of the things he can give me, I could give myself. Gifts are for girlfriends and wives, and I’m not either.” Amani pointed. Finally locating her silk head wrap she began to tie up her curls into a red wrapped pineapple updo. “I understand,” Madiyson agreed walking over into Amani’s closet. “What are you wearing to dinner?” Madiyson called searching through hangers. “It’s in here with me,” Amani replied, laughing as she heard the hangers continuing to move. “Okay, I’ll see it when you get dressed… Girl! I should raid your closet more often!” Madiyson yelled.”

Amani shook her head and started to pull on her clothes. She grabbed her red bodysuit followed by a pair of navy blue and green silk pants edged with red trim. She finished the look with a dark green short coat and red heels. She grabbed her diamond earrings off of the bathroom counter and checked to make sure she was still wearing the necklace her parents had given her. She hadn’t taken it off since the day they passed. With earrings and necklace in place, Amani covered her lips in lipgloss and smiled at her outfit. She looked good, and she knew it. The black woman left her bathroom and walked out into the bedroom. She grabbed her matching clutch and checked her phone. 5:25 on the dot. “Girl can I borrow this dress some-” Madiyson stopped talking as she spotted her friend. “Okay, sis!” Madiyson cheered. “You look good.”

“Thank you,” Amani smiled, “And of course. It would look great on you.” Amani nodded towards the short beaded white dress in her friend’s hand. “Thank you,” Madiyson cheesed. “He should be here soon. You gonna drive home or you gotta work soon?” Amani asked as she and Madiyson headed towards the living room. “I’m going home. Marquis asked if I wanted to get drinks at 8.”

“Ooh, look at you,” Amani teased. “It’s just drinks between friends,” Madiyson blushed. “Sure,” Amani grinned, “It’s just drinks for now. Next week it’ll be a date, and you know I’m right.” Madiyson didn’t respond and Amani knew that she was right. The doorbell drew both of their attention. “He’s punctual,” Madiyson commented. Amani opened the front door and smiled at the sight of T’Challa. “Hi,” she breathed. “Hey,” he breathed back, his eyes drinking in the sight of the woman before him. “Come in,” Amani gestured. “Thank you,” T’Challa smiled. “T’Challa this is Madiyson. Madiyson, this is T’Challa.”

“Nice to meet you,” T’Challa shook Madiyson’s hand. “The pleasure is all mine,” Madiyson insisted, “I’ve heard so much about you-”

“Okay, we should probably get going. I’m sure T’Challa had reservations,” Amani interrupted her friend. Madiyson could never resist a chance to embarrass her friend. “Bye Madiyson,” Amani called as she and T’Challa headed out of the front door. “Have fun! I’ll lock up! Don’t bring home no babies.” Madiyson yelled front the front stoop and Amani mentally groaned.

“She seems nice,” T’Challa commented as he opened the car door for Amani. “She’s really sweet when she’s not trying to embarrass me,” Amani sighed as he closed her door. T’Challa laughed as he settled in the car beside her. “The king drives himself?” Amani raised an eyebrow. “I enjoy driving,” T’Challa laughed, “besides, this is the safest car in the world. I wanted to drive you myself without someone listening in on our conversations tonight.”

“And what’s on the conversation table tonight that so special?”

“You’ll just have to stick around and find out won’t you,” T’Challa teased. He smoothly backed out of her drive and pulled off into the city. “How’d you end up in Atlanta?” the king broke the silence. “I went to college in the AUC, Atlanta University Center, I went to Spelman.”

“What did you major in?” the king inquired. “I was an independent Major. Did a mixture of Documentary Filmmaking, History, writing, and hospitality.” T’Challa nodded, “Did you enjoy your time?”

“I adored it. I’m still friends with a lot of people I went to school with. Madiyson, went to Clark Atlanta. I met her at homecoming one year. It gave me a sense of self and confidence. None of my professors made me feel crazy for wanting to study all of my interests.” Amani reminisced. “Does your sister go to school there?” T’Challa slowed to a stop at a red light. “Nope. They didn’t have her major, so she ended up at MIT. That’s where she wanted to be, so I’m happy for her. She has to make her own decisions.”

“It’s good that you’re supportive.” T’Challa smiled, easing onto the gas as the light turned to green. “What about you? Did you go to college?” Amani asked.

“Yes. I actually went to school in the states.” T’Challa’s eyes twinkled. “Really, you probably went to Yale right?” Amani joked. “Not even close,” T’Challa laughed. “Well, where’d you go to school?”

“I went to Howard University.”

“You’re a lie. There’s absolutely no way.” Amani gasped. “Is it so hard to believe that I would fit in?” T’Challa frowned.

“No! No, I just meant that it seems impossible that you could go to school in the states and no one would know who you were. It seems like the media would have been all over that.” Amani clarified. “Oh. Well, it was not that difficult. Your country did not have much interest in Wakanda until my father passed. I’m the first king to open Wakanda up to the world. I didn’t really tell people who I was, and people didn’t really ask. They just knew I was a foreign exchange student,” the king shrugged. “If that ever gets loose people are gonna lose their ever-loving minds,” Amani laughed. “I’m genuinely surprised it hasn’t already. I’m not exactly hiding it,” the king chuckled.

“What was your major?”

“Physics and Engineering.”

“No politics or international studies?”

“It was a minor,” the king shrugged, “My father taught me everything I needed to know about running our country. I wanted to study something that I was interested in before I spent a life ruling a country,” T’Challa explained. Amani frowned, “You don’t like being a king?”

“It’s not really as simple as enjoying it. It’s a responsibility that I gladly accept. I enjoy working with my people. I enjoy traveling, I could do without all of the politics but it comes with the job description. The responsibility has been passed down through my family since the beginning of our country’s existence. I couldn’t really see myself doing anything else.”

“I can’t fully understand, but as long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you,” Amani smiled. “Thank you,” the king grinned. They fell into comfortable silence once more. T’Challa pulled into a valet station and parked the car. He got out and rushed around to help Amani out of the car. “Thank you,” the waitress smiled. The king handed his keys to the valet and walked with Amani into the restaurant. “I hope you like Thai food,” he placed his hand on her lower back as they approached the maître d'. “I love it,” Amani told him. They checked in and the host led them back to their table. They looked over the menu, ordered, and simply enjoyed each other’s company. “If you could go to any city in the world right at this moment, where would you want to go?” T’Challa suddenly sat up. He leaned forward looking Amani directly in the eyes. Amani sat back, releasing her straw back into her drink, “Any city I want?”

“Any city on any continent,” the king promised, his smile growing by the second. “Milan, Italy,” Amani responded, “for fashion week.”

“Fashion week is soon yes?” T’Challa asked, sitting back in his chair. “It sure is, My sister’s birthday is usually the week after. That’s how I remember when fashion week starts,” Amani laughed. “How old will she be?” “She’ll be 18 this year,” Amani sighed. “That isn’t a good thing?” T’Challa frowned. “It is, but it’s just a reminder she’s gonna leave me for good soon,” Amani frowned, “And 18 is a big birthday in our family.”

“How so?” the king inquired. “Well, 18 is the age of majority in the US. So in acknowledgment of us becoming an adult, my parents gave their last gift. When we turned 16, my parents gave my sister and me a diamond necklace. When I turned 18, they gave me a pair of diamond earrings. Amare had been excited about receiving her earrings since she turned 17. They had bought her necklace before they died, so I was able to give it to her, but I’ve gotta keep the tradition alive on this one.”

“That’s really sweet,” The king offered a small smile, “I’m sure she’ll love whatever you buy for her.

“I hope so.”

The conversation faded again as the couple enjoyed their food. The occasional comment on the food was the only conversation. “Amani,” T’Challa started once he finished his food, “I have really enjoyed spending time with you.” Amani blushed. The king pushed his plate back before continuing, “I know that there is a lot to overcome between us. The distance being the biggest problem, my job coming in a close second,” Amani and T’Challa chuckled, “But I would really like to make us work. As a couple. Officially,” T’Challa paused watching for Amani’s reaction. She took a deep breath as her smile grew across her face, “Me too,” the young woman nodded in response. T’Challa reached across the table and took her hand in his, “Amani Okeke, will you be my girlfriend?”

“It would be my honor, your majesty,” Amani laughed at T’Challa’s groan. “It’s just T’Challa to you, entle.” The king pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “What does that mean?” Amani soaked in the feeling of his hand against hers.

“It means beautiful in Xhosa, my native language.”

“I like it,” Amani giggled, looking up into his eyes. “I’m glad,” he stared back at her.

The waiter came back shortly and took away the new couple’s empty plates. T’Challa paid for dinner and happily escorted his girlfriend out into his waiting car. “I hope you enjoyed the food.” The king opened the door for Amani as she climbed in. “It was wonderful, thank you,” the young woman smiled as the king closed her door. “I am glad you enjoyed the meal.”

T’Challa pulled away from the curb and started the opposite direction from Amani’s house. “Where are you taking me?” Amani smiled, her eyes glued to the king as he ventured to the opposite side of the city. “It is a surprise.” He smirked as he cruised through a green light.

“Oh really?” Amani turned to face the window. “Can I have a hint?”

“No, no hints. Just accept the surprise.”

Amani frowned out the window, as T’Challa laughed. “I can see you pouting in the window.”

“I’m not pouting,” a smile crept back onto Amani’s face. “I can see it in the glass from all the way over here Amani-”T’Challa started. “I just want to know where we are going. I don’t like surprises,” Amani’s voice trailed off into a mumble. “You do not like surprises?” T’Challa glanced over at her. “No,” she fought back another smile. “So you would like for me to turn around and take you home? It is really a shame since we are so close to the surp-”

“No, don’t turn around,” Amani cried out stopping his hand from pulling over. The king laughed. “I won’t,”T’challa still pulled over into a parking spot off the curb. “We are already here.” The king smiled as he stopped the car. He got out and helped Amani out from her side. He squeezed her hand gently and didn’t let go. They walked up the street to a glass-front building. “An art gallery,” Amani smiled as she noticed people inside mulling around holding flutes of champagne. “Yes, I hope this is alright, I assumed that you like art from the work hanging in your house-”

“I do! I love art,” Amani reassured as the couple paused outside of the front door, “I just wasn’t expecting this, but I love it.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, dancing or a show, I don’t really know what I was expecting. I’m glad this is the surprise though, I truly am surprised, and happy.”

T’Challa nodded and escorted her in. Their hands swang together softly as they moved into the room. “I do not know much about the exposition, besides the fact that it is a collection of new African American artists. This gallery is my favorite in the city, they always do an amazing job.”

“They must have an amazing curator,” Amani affirmed as she gazed at some of the works in front of her. “One of the best. I buy a lot of pieces from this galley. They always seem to have something that I want.”

“Maybe I’ll find something new for myself or Amare,” Amani smiled at her date. The two meandered around the room, picking up some champagne as they perused. As they were talking and walking Amani’s attention was drawn to a painting that hung behind T’Challa’s head. Noticing her look the king turned over his shoulder to find what had caught her gaze and he smiled. “Do you like it?” He gripped her hand in his and walked her to the painting.

“I do. There’s just something about her gaze, and her hair. It’s like it’s people, then a city, but then I find myself just staring at her curls once more. There’s innocence, there’s pain, and there’s pride. It’s wrapped up in one, and it’s breathtaking.”

“You should buy it?”

“Where am I gonna put a bright red painting in my house T’Challa?”

“I don’t know, paint your bedroom red? Paint the Guest room red?”

“You really want me to buy this painting.” Amani turned to him. “No. Not if you do not want it, but you’ve bought two pictures for Amare for her birthday, and you have yet to buy one for yourself.”

“I’ve already started my collection, and I’ve got to save up for her birthday present. So maybe next time,” Amani shrugged but looked up at the painting. “I understand.” T’challa glanced over at his girlfriend before taking another sip of his champagne. “So I am going to buy it for you,” The king announced.

“T’Challa you don’t have to do that. You do not have to buy me gifts.”

“I know that I do not have to do anything, but I want to do this for you. Do you like this painting,” the king turned to face his girlfriend and took one of her hands in his free one. “I do,” she nodded back. “Then I am going to buy it for you, because your are my girlfriend and I want to treat you. You do so much for others, so let me do something for you.”

Amani nodded and smiled. The couple finished pursuing and purchasing their items. A few hours later they found themselves back on Amani’s front steps. “I had an amazing time tonight.”

Amani pushed the key in her lock as she smiled. The lock clicked opened and she invited T’Challa in. “I did too,” the young homeowner smiled, shrugging off her coat onto the couch before walking back over to T’Challa. He smiled at her, “I hope I an not to forward in asking this, but I am going to be taking Ada on a short vacation and I would like for you to come with us. We aren’t going to Milan unfortunately, but we are going to Paris. I am sure she would enjoy your presence as well.”

“Are you sure, I wouldn’t want to encroach on you all’s time together. I know it is limited since she is away at school and with Nanny’s-”

“Well,” T’Challa cleared his throat, “I have been doing some thinking and that is all going to be changing soon. The vacation is for the end of her school year, and next year, I have decided that she will be continuing her formal education with me in the palace. And her nanny will be retiring as well. I took your advice and realized that I wanted to spend quality time with my daughter and get to know her. Not be a stranger that she comes home to and calls her father. And she is only five, she probably will not even really remember this vacation and she loves having you around and we coul-” Amani cut off his rambling by pressing her lips to his. She melted into the kiss as his senses took over and he kissed her back. She pulled away slowly blinking her eyes, “If I can get off of work, I would love to tag along with you all,” She bit her lip and grinned.

“Great,” he nodded slowly, gazing back at her, “I’ll send you the details in the morning my love.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

T’Challa rested his forehead on hers. “Goodnight Amani,” The king smiled. “Goodnight,” Amani whispered. The father placed one last kiss on her lips before she let him out. Amani locked the door behind herself and grinned all the way up the stairs to take a shower.

Taglist: @almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @nyneebee @hutchj @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @strictlyashley @afraiddreamingandloving @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @gorjiss @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @yoyolovesbucky @derangedcupcake @builtalongthewayside @ilcb7 @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites @leahnicole1219 @dopegalkk @sarcastic-sunshines @sarahboseman @shesakillerkween @waitingonafriend @faatassbitch @lady-love-and-glitter-roses @cxnismajcr @tchallasbabymama

[sleeplessinsiswati]

Create Heaven Here—My Story

For the record, this probably should have been the first “official” post for this blog. My bad, I’m a learn-as-you-go type so I’ve been messing around and BOOM well, here we are.

*clears throat* ahem...

When I was young I wanted to be a writer. I always dreamed of being a writer; of my words mattering to someone. The unique ability of being able to eloquently articulate thoughts and touch someone else deeply was nothing short of a poetic wonderland in my childhood imagination. Now I am older, and I realise that words, these words are all that I have to give. I once believed that this was not enough; that the sum of who I am had to add up to more than what I can say about this life, or what I have seen of it. I now understand that it does not have to be more than this so much as it has to be true, no matter if the impact of those words is great or small. I am writing this because I wanted my first post in country to be about me; here I will paint an in-depth portrait of who I am and why I am here.

________________________________

It is a common theme in stories originating from the continent of Africa that history is intertwined with mythology, and so too the story of my life is told. Before I was born, my father wanted to name me Shaka Zulu in honour of the infamous, Southern-African warrior. My mother protested, worried that I would endure ridicule and shame because of a lack of understanding from other children or teachers. And with that wisdom, I was instead named after her, Desmond—the son of Desiree. If only they had saw fit to ask the Creator to not give me the soul of a warrior since it was decided I would no longer be receiving the name. I was born with asthma. Mom would later tell me that it was because even before I was born the evil of this world wanted to steal my breath, to take my words.

In early childhood, I found it hard to have a voice for myself. As a matter of fact, for the first year and a half of my life my parents did not think that I could talk at all; my older brother, Gerald, would always speak for me. Whatever he liked, I liked; whatever he wanted, I wanted. It wasn’t until one fateful Sunday School class where there was an option of cheese or peanut butter and jelly crackers that I had spoken publicly at all. With whatever self-esteem I could muster up in my infantile body I stated very clearly, and to the surprise of all in attendance, that I wanted peanut butter and jelly crackers. That would be my first fight; my brother wanted me to have the cheese crackers. From then on my life would be a series of advocating for myself or on behalf of others, and willingly paying the price no matter the cost.

I got into a good number of fights as a child. I was more passionate than I was “boy”. I had a spirit of fire and wind; free, scorching, and bold. I went from unspeaking and timid to outspoken and determined. Dont ask me what I was determined to do, though. To this day, I do not know what I was so serious, so keen on grasping at prepubescence. I was raised in the church like most Southern Louisiana, Black boys. It was here that I was able to find comfort and a sense of pride. Along with the classroom, the sanctuary was a place where my words were accepted; it was a place where intelligence and passion could meet, and where adults were impressed and were quick to take promising young pupils under their wing. Many teachers spoke highly of my performance in the classroom, and so did ministers at my place of worship. Unfortunately for me, there was a great degree of protection that was in the church setting that was not remotely available in an inner-city elementary school with a magnet component.

I could never understand at the time, from the background which I came, why “Church Boy” was an insult. Honestly, it didn’t bother me so much as the implications that came with it. Implications like that I could not defend myself; that even if I could not, that I had parents who would quickly take up for me; that I was weak and afraid of a world that was unknown to me; that someone else had the right to take these things from me. These statements were made between curled lips and clenched teeth and clenched fists; from smacked lips and cold stares I learned that having two parents in one home and having an identity rooted in church life were things to be snickered at. With those snickers came threats, boys posturing themselves to be perceived as men; willing to play at absolute dominant power in the face of what seemed like a helpless Christian kid. And with that, I let those assholes eat my fists. Never one to back down from a fight, I got in more fights in and out of school between my elementary and high school years than I care to remember, in and out of school. I lost many of them, I won some. One thing I never did was back down. I would be felt, I would be heard, I would be respected.

This philosophy came to frustrate my parents who constantly reinforced a message of choosing battles. Though I felt an angst from the outside world, there was no difference in emotion concerning the place that I called home. My mom has always been a jewel in my mind; her beauty, poise, and radiance will never fade and will always be priceless. My dad, my protector; a strong tower and defender of his family, which for him was his pride and joy. En lieu of these praises I now sing, the truth is as a child I felt very much alone and afraid. My dad would often invalidate the words I would say as foolish or thoughtless, and it was a rare sighting for my mom to protect my emotions from his aggression in those moments. Mom was an artist in her day, and I would say very much so an existentialist. She taught her sons to feel, and to feel deeply the offerings of this life; what a gift this is, and it is one I will forever be grateful for. But, what a curse this was, when under the weight of the absolute terror that is an emotionally insensitive parent. As if the words and insults of a man you see as your protector and provider were not enough, the inexplicable silence of that other person who built you as this fragile human being made for a combination that never ceased to knock the wind out of me.

Even in sports, which I did not particularly excel in for some time, my brother and I were not seen by other players as much more than the coaches’ sons. With this came the same insults and curses that I experienced at school, but only this time in an environment of high passions and high volatility. Myself, being the more hotheaded between Gerald and I, always took the bait of these insults only to be publicly humiliated by my dad once word reached to him. It was inescapable, this fog of perpetual pain that occasioned seasonal rays of artistic expression and raging passion that served as my outlets. The one haven, the castle on the hill in this experience was the church. I was a child that was made vulnerable to everything, and therefore I felt everything. This eternity of feeling left me ragged and tired of many things, and as a result I became a very cold and methodical young man. I became what others would refer to as ���mature” and “wise beyond my years” or “strong”; I never wanted to be any of these things. I never wanted to be strong, I just wanted to be safe.

Through sheer determination and willpower I did well both academically and athletically in high school. I graduated, and went on to undergraduate studies out of state. More than anything I wanted to leave behind Louisiana and it’s incessant ignorance and backwards logic; how wrong was I to think that it was a regional issue. I decided in college that I wanted to be a different person, a more visible leader and advocate on behalf of myself and other. I think it was this thought that guided me to make a vast majority of the decisions I would come to make, both good and bad. I would hold a few positions on campus and ran track my first two years of college. These points are not why this era in my life matters, though. It was here that my life would first fall apart, and largely because of my own doing. Somewhere between my university studies and my out-of-class experiences I no longer believed God had an active role in my life. I mean sure He was up there and guided me to the school in the first place, but looking back on my life I did not see a reason to believe that there was this ultimately powerful being who had been looking out on my behalf; again, the God I knew made me vulnerable, transparent to a world that sought to destroy my faith in it and in Him at every turn. If that was the God that had been watching me since birth I wanted nothing to do with Him, or, rather, I think we needed to spend some time apart.

And so, I lived my life and I lived it grandly. Unashamedly infatuated with luxury, opportunity, and prestige, I was well-known on campus; in some ways, I was notorious on campus. Eventually, that notoriety caused me to make some ridiculous college kid decisions, as most college kids do, that almost had very adult consequences. Regardless of what did not happen, one particular situation had consequences that resulted in a very loud, very public fall from grace; I was ashamed. That summer, on my annual return to Louisiana, I was broken and lost. I felt alone, embarrassed, and trapped, not much different from how I once felt as a child. It was in this season that I began reading Thich Nhat Hanh and meditating. I began shaving my head, a sign of consecration to a purpose I had long thought I lost or forgotten, and cut all meats out of my diet except for fish.

Yet embarrassed because of the terms on which I left the university, I told some of my peers and fraternity brothers that I more than likely would not be returning. The weight of the guilt and reliving the chaos of the preceding year seemed too much to bear. In the midst of these thoughts came the same soft, cool, all-consumingly overwhelming feeling that led me to the institution, initially. In that moment, to my soul came the urge to return and that if I were to not return I would be a coward. “What has kept you, will not sustain you”. Those words, words that came, in my opinion, from the universe directly to my spirit were the words that I rode all the way to Nashville on a 12am Greyhound bus.

In this final year of university, I discovered more about myself that I can explain; who I was, who I was not, who I wanted to be, and who I was willing to become. The magic of the moments in that year seemed to meet me in roaring waves of enlightenment and revelation; I was alive, fully alive for the first time. In this season I began to see the early formations of a personal philosophy that would become the cornerstone of a dream—a dream to create my own reality. It would be this dream that would propel me to achieve another lifelong dream of mine: becoming a Peace Corps volunteer.

Peace Corps was, and is still, an opportunity for me to connect with people world’s away; to learn their language, their ways of life, what life means to them, and what love means to them. For me, this was, and again still is, perfectly in alignment with who I wanted to become and had been a dream for me for quite some time. Well, after finishing my undergraduate studies, a two year completion of graduate studies back at home, and a marriage-to-my-best-friend later, I and my partner were granted the opportunity to become Peace Corps Volunteers in eSwatini (Swaziland). After months of training, going from Septemeber 27th to December 12th, we were able to be sworn in, officially, as volunteers of the United States Peace Corps. These past few months have been riddled with their own, unique challenges. Viewing life as an adventure helps me to make light of these experiences, and to examine them objectively, in the grand scheme of life.

The experiences I have had the blessed opportunity to be a part of and the future experiences I will have the chance to live and feel will be documented and scribed here for two main purposes: to tell a story that often times is not told; the story of the Black male minority, who has a rare opportunity to go places that many other Black people may never have the chance or the courage to. The second purpose, is to be transparent about the hard work and the beautiful struggle that is connecting, living, and loving other human beings. Despite the difficulties, despite language barriers, despite whatever obstacles, I believe that all people seek peace and connection, wholeness and reconciliation. It is this belief that has guided me, that has become my personal philosophy, and that continues to guide me.

To close, I refer to the Biblical passage of the story of the Tower of Babel; all of humanity came together with the grand cause of building a tower to reach the heights Heaven. Not only were they successful in their united endeavors, but so much so that the hosts of Heaven feared that humanity would ascend into the Heavens because, when they were united, there was nothing they could not accomplish. As a result, humanity was called to speak different languages in order to cause division and confusion amongst themselves. I am here, and walk this Earth, with the intention of rebuilding that tower; or rather, to bring about the revelation that Heaven was the ability to have peace and love, united in a cause for the benefit for all of humanity.

Once there was an endeavour to build a tower to reach unto Heaven. Why build up when what you truly seek is inside and around you? You do not have to wait until you die; you do not have to wait for an act of God. You are the act of God; your life is an act of God. Come on; let’s Create Heaven Here.

[rain-a-dragomir]

In Character Survey:

1: What eye color do you find sexiest?

There is something about those deep brown or blue eyes I find to be alluring, filled with so much emotion.

2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?

Well I’m not much of a sweets person but I’d rather have milk chocolate, at least that’s what I think the question is asking. . .

3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

I don’t think it’d matter since there isn’t any room on my back for anything else.

4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

I was born in a large town, but where I grew up was fairly small, quiet, out in the middle of nowhere.

5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

Lets see, I’m not sure if I put much thought into that. Maybe looking back I’d might say my old academies principal. Going any further than that is delving into memories I’d much rather let sit and collect dust.

6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?

Oh! Smoothies are awesome! Personally I love anything strawberry! Maybe a Strawberry Banana!

7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?

Hmm, elementary school embarrassment. . .Might of been when Alexa kissed me in the middle of class. At that time it was pretty shocking.

8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

Middle school was actually pretty uneventful for the most part, aside from the occasional lunch slip up. You know, tripping and your lunch tray goes flying through the air or something.

9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

Now I wouldn’t exactly call it embarrassing, though it was a bit. I had just so happened to set fire to the school’s swimming pool thanks to a bad batch of fireworks I’d gotten my hands on from one of those roadside stands. Boy did it make a whole lot of noise!

10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?

Pirate Ninja’s!

11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?

Certainly, who hasn’t as a child?

12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?

I absolutely did and still do. Even if it might seem a bit childish, I’ll still sit upon a swing if I’m alone and nobody's around. Sit by myself for a bit and quietly swing. Might make for an interesting date.

13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?

Any Kind of pet? I’m pretty fond of Bats, more particularly the flying foxes, they’re just too adorable when they snack on fruit!

14: What's your most favorite part of your body?

My favorite part of my own body? Uh. . .Maybe my eyes? Guess I could say something more vain like my chest or something, but honestly that just isn’t me.

15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?

My personality! I’d say it would have to be both my easy going demeanor while still being able to keep a serious attitude when required.

16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?

Ummm What? Don’t think I know either of these people. . .

17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?

Sorry I don’t watch sports, I’d prefer to play them, but even then Football isn’t one of my favorites.

18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?

I don’t believe getting drunk is necessary to have a good time, besides alcohol doesn’t work on me. My metabolism works too fast.

19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?

Okay now this is a great question! So on my travels I’ve been pretty much all over the states, and tried all kinds of food. Yet the one place I occasionally return to is this small little hole in the wall mexican restaurant that does great pork tamales with mole sauce! Perfect combination of sweetness, and spice that tastes great on your tongue!

20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?

I really never paid attention, but when I’m cooking, I’ll always use real butter. Just easier. Diet? Who cares!

21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)

I usually have no preference on milk to be honest. I’ll either pour it into whatever I happen to be making at the time, or straight into cereal.

22: Which continents have you been on?

Like I’ve said, I do travel quite a bit. Only been in Asia a couple times, wouldn’t mind checking it out in more detail. Both North and South America are pretty much a given. Europe and Australia I’ve also had the pleasure of checking out.

23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?

Nah, I love car rides and such, no vomiting here, sorry!

24: Backpacks or satchels?

Aren’t they the same? I’ve always just called them backpacks, or backbreakers.

25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?

Well I’m not terribly fond of the whole 80’s fashion sense, or at least I think it was the 80’s. . .

26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

We didn’t watch a lot of tv in school, you know the whole boarding school thing. Mostly dorm rooms and mischief.

27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?

Umm. . . for what? We talking pets or for food? Pets I wouldn’t know what to go with. In the case of food, Ham all the way! Love ham and Bacon!

28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?

There is nothing like a beautiful city skyline, especially as the sun sets and the city lights begin to glow! There was this one place, can’t remember the name. But it was smack dab on the beach, just beyond the buildings you could see the ocean stretch beyond. Occasional ships dotting the water. Truly beautiful.

29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?

Oh boy! A nineteen hour plane ride. Absolutely the worst ever! One of those people who can’t sit still for periods of time, and boy that trip I was beginning to get claustrophobic.

30: The latest you've ever slept?

Well my sleeping habits are a bit strange. Me being a Vampire and all, I tend to live on a nocturnal schedule unless I need to directly deal with humans, then I’ll adapt to their cycles. But even then there are times I can’t really sleep. Too many things to overthink about. Then again I have slept for an entire twenty four hours.

31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?

Wow a sweater with kittens all over it. Not sure what I’d think, maybe I’d wear it if my significant other gave it to me. Then again it’d probably be one of those gag gifts.

32: Do you pick at scabs?

Ewww no! Besides, my bodies healing factor works too fast for scabs to form. Thankfully.

33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?

This is very random. Don’t have a favorite bean, generally just toss em all into a chili pot.

34: How far can you throw a baseball?

Probably much further than the average or above average baseball player, boy wouldn’t it be fun to mess with some of the pro athletes? >:)

35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?

I’m actually quite fond of Europe, the art, the food, the people, but the place I would move to without skipping a beat would be Venice. The buildings, the canals, the gondoliers singing songs about love in Italian or Veneto.

36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?

I’ve had Korean, nothing too special though. Completely prefer mexican food.

37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?

I wouldn’t know to be honest, only grew up attending private academies.

38: A relationship with love or one with sex?

I don’t see why a loving relationship can’t have sex in the mix. Granted I don’t want a relationship dominated by just sex, there needs to be a deep connection between the people. God maybe I’m just too mushy when it comes to relationships.

39: Do you eat enough vegetables?

I’d like to think I do! Love being able to saute veggies, listening to the sounds they make sizzling in a splash of oil, and lemon juice.

40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?

Well I’m not much of a horror flick kind of person, mainly cartoons.

41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?

Oh come on, there has to be a way to do it discreetly! Obviously I’m not going to reach down my pants and scratch in broad daylight!

42: Do you swear in front of your parents?

Yeah, the last time I did that years ago, my mother slapped me into the next week, then slapped me back into yesterweek. A whole lot of fun that was.

43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?

Okay so in our society we really don’t celebrate halloween as much, I mean the little ones do because who can resist dressing up like your favorite super hero? But mainly our holiday is Samhain, generally the same, just with less costumes and candy but still for celebration. Old world stuff.

44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?

I can and have to an extent. Granted I don’t change my hair color to something obnoxious like neon purple. Technically my real hair color is. . .you know that silvery blond? Yup that’s the one!

45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?

Sometime in the distant future I’d like to be able to have kids, granted it might be difficult since well. . . I am gay, so something obviously needs to be figured out, but I wouldn’t mind eventually hearing the pitter patter of feet running into my room on morning trying to wake up their daddies. Little bodies jumping up and down on the bed dressed in little onesies.

46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.

Occasionally, not something that usually is of importance.

47: City or nature person?

Can I say a bit of both? While I love being able to just go out on my own and walk through a field or forest, listening to the sound of nature and breathing the fresh air. While I equally like walking down streets, maybe picking a park or local bar to sit at and just people watch. Maybe take a quick peek at their auras, see what kind of person they are. Their personality based on color. It’s pretty interesting.

48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)

Well back in school we did have some sporting events, I guess ‘war paint’ would count.

49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?

Well now, that isn’t something I’ve tried. I’ve got a pretty good sense of balance, but I have a feeling high heels would be my ultimate downfall. Heh.

50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!

Wow, five things. . .Why are these so difficult? Ummm. Well I’m a pretty good cook, baking comes just as easy. Despite my somewhat quiet, shy, stoic exterior I’m quite the romantic. Maybe a small mushy love filled card on someone’s desk at work, or a bouquet of flowers. Strangely enough I can do some metal and leather working, mostly as a hobby. Boy I’m really not all that great bragging about myself, maybe I’ll just have to let people find out for their self.

[another-beautiful-disasterrr]

obscure questions: 1-50 and 1-30 for the post after

1) - feed me- let me be weird- idk lmao2) eating3) Love & Misadventures - Lang Leav4) wut5) “You were such a shitty bf to me towards the end, good luck finding a girl who can accept your passiveness”6) Fun to dance to7) - roomies who bring their significant others over 24/7 - irresponsible people - people who are always late- couples that do PDA all the fucking time- people who are super duper bossy 8) baked seafood rice with portuguese sauce + lemon tea9) education = very important10) Energetic - Wanna One Hotline Bling - DrakeDespacito - Luis FonciPart of Your World (reprise) - Jodi BensonOne Dance - DrakeA Whole New World - Lea SalongaA Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Ilene WoodsRight There - Ariana GrandeFaded - Alan Walker我愛他- Della 11) what12) - kim soo hyun- wu chun- kenneth ma- jungkook - ross butler13) i’m okay with my body but it could be slimmer14) shirt, shorts, shoes15) i’m a taurus and people say i’m stubborn…and bulls are stubborn16) what if I’d never gone to Hong Kong?17) learning to read/speak chinese18) studying my ass off for a class and still bombing an exam19) you can’t sexually lust after items but okay- etude house play color eyes cherry blossom - e.l.f eyeshadow brush- adidas superstar shoes- kate spade PWRU3898 663 - clinique beyond perfection foundation + concealer20)  not getting into grad school21) living in a townhouse with a cat and family22) could be better23) 都可茶飲24) idk25) worrying about school26 )what  i like about myself: reading fast, being a good listenerwhat i don’t like: being bad at math, picky eater, shy27) don’t have one28) Korea29) -eggplant- taking notes by hand- yeah idk30) nothing~~~1: What eye color do you find sexiest?dark brown?2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?dark chocolate mocha?3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?don’t really want a tattoo4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?small and it was aight5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)my older aunt on my mom’s side?6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?mango7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?cried when i couldn’t join the other kids for friday activity cuz i didn’t do my hwk8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?idr9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?idk 10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?ninjas and no reason11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?no12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?yes to both13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?cat and koala14: What’s your most favorite part of your body?eyes15: What’s your most favorite part of your personality?being a good listener16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?who cares17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?no18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?no19: What’s the most delicious food you’ve ever eaten in your life?japanese ramen20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?butter and butter21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 ½% milk?2%)22: Which continents have you been on?north america, europe, asia23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?only once on my way back to hk from macau cuz it was high tide around midnight. everyone around me and my friends was throwing up24: Backpacks or satchels?backpack25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?none of the above26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?scooby doo27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?a cow cuz i can get milk and make milk tea28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?hong kong or san francisco29: Longest plane ride you’ve ever been on?14 ish hours30: The latest you’ve ever slept?5 -5:30 am31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?no, but yes32: Do you pick at scabs?yeah 33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?green beans?34: How far can you throw a baseball?never tried35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?homegirl’s going back to hong kong36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?i’ve eaten viet and korean food. viet food’s aight, but i love korean food37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?public uni and no reason38: A relationship with love or one with sex?why not both39: Do you eat enough vegetables?prob not40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?hell no to horror, maybe yes to thrillers41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?no42: Do you swear in front of your parents?sometimes43: Coolest thing you’ve ever been for Halloween?isabelle lightwood44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?maybe blue45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?yes to both46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.yes47: City or nature person?city48: Have you ever used something other than “makeup” as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)nope49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you’re a guy?nope50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!- used to be able to hit a high c - took fencing lessons as a kid - finished harry potter and the deathly hallows in 1 night- walked through the summer palace and forbidden city in beijing both in a day- travelled to europe several times