#and like wtf. she was born in my state??? and i didn't even know this whole time????

[rickeajacksons]

[fellow-anime-weeb927]

Hii, I'm back. First off, I'm sorry about the request I send yesterday, I think? I didn't see the 'angst' under the 'don't do' 😭 🙇‍♀️but I'm back with a rant (I should pay you rent for staying in your asks this much- I can pay it with kaldo drawings 😭)

I recently checked the sons' ages and well- Doom, Fanim, Epidem and Delisaster were born with only 1 year of difference (also, the whole family was born of 11th of something- Innocent zero was a weird guy. He even shares birthday with Mash lol) and knowing that a pregnancy lasts 9 months there would be 4 months of non-pregnancy state with each of the 4 first sons (I calculated it- I needed to know if it was actually possible to pop out 4 kids in 4 years like that). Yes, they literally were born Doom-January, Fanim-February, Epidem-March and Delisaster-April (Domina was born in May, but Mash wanted to be different and was born in November 😭). There is a problem, Mash and Domina were born the same year, less than 9 months in between their birthdays. To which I can only find the excuses that, again, Mash wanted to be different and decided that he would be born premature lol (or they just speed up his birth, if mother was getting ill or her health was going down). Also, I checked how much each kid weights and I'm pretty sure Innocent zero starved them- BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOOM (who's 2 meters tall) WEIGHT ONLY 88KG??? THAT MF IS HUGE😭 My older brother (who's 25, 5 years younger than Doom, apparently) is like 1,80m and he weights 110kg😭 Domina (who's 1,76,i think) weights 68kg (that's around my weight, I'm 1,65± and 15 y/o). So, knowing that information I want to add that after mother fell into a coma, Innocent zero had more power over the sons so he starved them (bc before it was impossible. If they told mother that they wanted to eat, or even if they didn't, she gave them food and made sure they ate at least 3 times a day. Since she suffered a lot from starvation herself and almost every family member (all of her three brothers and her mom) died due to starvation), and it would also explain why tf Delisaster has such a thin waist.

It's also possible that, instead of her bearing the children in her womb, they just decided to mix their DNAs in an incubator of some sort. Innocent zero would say something that it wasn't necessary for her to bear them and that it wouldn't benefit neither of them, since he doesn't want for a strong ally to be unable to work for over 9 months and he read that it pregnancy can affect her health (again, that means that his ally will be weaker than before (imagine his reaction when she randomly falls into a coma after mash's 'birth'- and doesn't wake up for a long time). And mother would also prefer it by just mixing the DNAs (✨trauma✨, and probably not liking physical touch?). I'm also sure that after some time, Innocent zero would put some spell on mother just to keep her in the coma (let's say her necklaces worked only around itself and since it didn't cause any actual damage they weren't activated) so that he can manipulate the sons more. I also imagine them visiting her, maybe on their own birthdays or her birthday or just randomly showing up to check on her idk.

I also imagine that when Innocent zero is defeated by Mash and mother wakes up and gets context of everything that happened during her 'absence' (she really didn't care if the realm was destroyed since they didn't care about neither her or those similar to her), she would be mad with both Wahlberg and the divine visionaries (even though she didn't like the realm, she had some respect for Wahlberg when they were young bc he had good ambitions and she expected for him to at least try to make them reality) bc "what do you mean after 100 years the law against lackmagic is the fucking same and nothing changed? And then you dump it all onto a 15 y/o boy? Wtf" She would 100% slap Wahlberg in his face (and it's a good one, after all the sons didn't get the physical abilities from their father lol) and say that if they don't change things soon, she won't hesitate to start a revolution. I also don't know how would Mash react to his biological mother appearing out of nowhere. They would probably have a talk, at least and she would say that she won't interfere in his life unless he wants to and that he should contact Domina if he wants to talk with her or needs something from her, since she doesn't have a phone bc she was in a coma.

Also, after Innocent zero is defeated, I'm sure that the castle doesn't fall down, so as she wakes up she goes through it and sees all of her sons (or their remains) dead (Except Doom, since he did live after the battle with Mash) and she doesn't know the cause of it yet, but when she sees the 'arrows' that attacked Domina she would get the puzzle together that Innocent zero have killed at least one of her sons (she couldn't care less about the realm, but won't hesitate to hurt someone tenfold if they hurt her sons in the slightest), he would have had hurried to hunt that mf down, but tending to Doom's injuries is more of a priority at that time.

Anyway, I'm really sorry for that request, it was my bad. I would send a kaldo drawing as an apology, but I can't send photos when asking as anon🙇‍♀️ have a good time

-🎨anon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(original ask:)

A/n: dear anon you sure are discovering a whole lot oh my goodness- now that you explain the entire thing I’m like o_o I’m literally confused about the logic (but anime/manga logic am I right?-) so I’m not sure what to do about this, would you still want the ask?

[grindy-cog]

How can you ship Malex or like Maria after what she and Michael did to Alex? It's disgusting! Didn't know you were into non-con, just filter them.

Hi Anon,

Well, I’m sorry to see that something is obviously triggering you but there’s a simple solution to that - unfollow me, block me, forget this blog exists. I’m not going to filter them in any way but you certainly can on your Tumblr - you know, your safe space?

But well, since you actually came to my blog and made it my problem, I’ll bite. What non-con are you talking about? The infamous threesome? Well, guess what? I didn’t like it either! Not the way the writers decided to deliver it, anyway. But to say that Alex was actually forced to participate by either Michael or Maria… Have we even watched the same scene? Don’t get me wrong, I wish I had known it was coming, I wish I could unsee it somehow but wtf, Anon?

Why some of you are acting as if Alex was some fragile little boy with no way to protect himself? News flash, out of the three of them, he was the trained killer there! And like it or not, it’s canon that he always had power over Michael. I fear to know what it had to be like in the RNM fandom when that scene was first aired, if this is how some of you are still acting 4-5 years later.

The reason why I personally hate that writing choice, is because of how unhealthy it was for each and every single one of them, yet it hadn’t been talked about by them later on. They were all in a really bad mental state that night, Maria included! You lot like to forget about the fact that she was losing her mum and learning upsetting things about herself and her family. Michael was the worst of them three at that point and Alex, while being hurt that night, was in fact in the best mental condition, though that doesn’t say much, given how he did let his demons and insecurity do a number on him. It had been shown the morning after, when he was the only one to say that - feeling loved or not - maybe they shouldn’t have done that.

So yeah, Anon. It was unhealthy, maybe even disgusting in some ways; born out of deep self loathing, pain, loneliness and desperation of each party involved, but was sure as hell FULLY consensual. Cause if you want to see it as non-con on Alex, then you must see that he did just the same to Michael and Maria.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[feathers-feathers]

Bug Fables' deep lore is engaging in open warfare with my mental helath i swear to GOD I CAnt figure this tHE FUCK OUT IM GOING INSANE

Context: I'm trying to make a timeline. Bug fables took this personally.

The big question here that got me to break is what the fuck is the deal with Flower Gods? So I was writing an essay of sorts to try and figure it out as I go, then clean it up and post it when I came to a few satisfying conclusions, and maybe make a poll to see what others would prefer.

I have now lost at least a decade of my lifespan, and will be seeking reparations in the court of law. I'll post what I wrote below the cut, just be aware that it's not finished, will not be finished if I have a gun to my head, and jumps places every now and then because that's just how I roll in the drafting stage.

I hope to all the gods above that some of you can find sense where I have failed.

Beware: Here be dragons. (Also, it's quite long.)

BEGIN

Currently doing timeline shenanigans with Bug Fables. I learned something in the lore that will have a major impact in how that timeline manifests. The problem is that this lore detail isn't exactly straight-forward, and has multiple interpretations. I'd like to see some other thoughts on this matter before I make a decision. The lore in question is regarding the creation of the Flower Gods.

A reminder: There is a secret room in Snakemouth Den that displays information regarding the 3 Flower Gods. Prior to seeing this room, most I think didn't even know there were 3 - only knowing of Venus at the time. The other two are Mars and Pluto. These displays tell us a few things. Some information on the gods themselves: Venus is

Guardian: M-001 "Mars" Age: 361 Status: Stable

Guardian: V-012 "Venus" Age: 358 Status: Stable

Guardian: P-183 "Pluto" Age: 34 Status: Stable

This secret asks a whole bunch of questions and answers exactly none of them.

The first thought I see many people go to is that this, of course, confirms that the Roaches created them. However, there is dialogue from Venus herself stating "Ah, it still feels like it was yesterday when they were scurrying around the land trying to get stuff together!" Which doesn't say much, but sort of implies that she was around while the Roaches were still figuring things out.

But what about those designations, what do they mean? For something like this - and considering they all start with the first letter of the Guardian's name - I think it's, like, a version number.

If they were all created by the Roaches, then… wtf? So with Mars, they got it right on their very first try - congratulations, a fucking GOD is born - but their next Guardian took 12 attempts? What? And then Pluto took 183 attempts. And the time discrepancy is just…. weird. Wtf does this mean? The Roaches started off as the best scientists ever, getting everything correct on their first go, then suddenly dropping the ball off the face of the Earth and getting nothing right? For centuries? And after all of that, they consider the Sapling to be their greatest creation. Not any of the Actual Deities they supposedly made. And then they place two of these gods in… just… entirely different territories. Mars is in the Eastern lands. Lord knows where Pluto is, but not Bugaria, that's for sure. I do find this rather unpalatable.

If they weren't created by the Roaches - they were just studying them, trying to replicate their power - I think that fits some of this better. Especially that above quote by Venus. If she was around before the Roaches developed what they have now - the Roaches being the first bugs to awaken - then did she awaken before even them? If she - and, perhaps, Mars - were the first to awaken, then was the Day of Awakening only around 370 years ago? That would probably be the best case scenario for developing a timeline. It'd be the only True Date that can be nailed down, and make it a lot easier to place other dates around it by comparison.

But still… what's the deal with the version numbers? Perhaps the Guardians do not have true immortality, but ressurrective immortality? That would sort imply that Pluto might in fact be the first, and he's on his 183'd life. It would also mean that Mars would actually be the youngest of the gods. Despite being the oldest current version, he is still only on his First version - no deaths, no resurrections. This would also mean that Pluto died around the time the Roaches vanished. But also - if Pluto died 182 times prior to his current iteration… what the fuck kind of life is this guy living? Is he stuck in a death loop, wtf?

This is honestly just another discrepancy, to me. Lets be as conservative as possible and say that most of Pluto's lives were all around 30 years in length. This is so conservative as to be ridiculous, but let's just ignore that. 183 x 30 = 5490. That's Fucking Old - and I'm gonna say, just as ridiculous. Why, then, would the other two gods only have a few years of an age gap? This feels like a strong point towards the idea that the Roaches created them??? that the designations are version numbers before deployment and not ressurrective iterations???

Oh My God. What the fuck am I supposed to believe?

BREAK

This is where I officially gave up. I hate all of these ideas none of them are satisfactory. Bug Fables why do you hate me so muchae dsafsafgfghrdsgrdfeignbreoiatghnbfrabgifrhdfhdfghdfsghdfizghsregtbdfsgfcuigh

[11queensupreme11]

I want to make a record of ragnarok and percy jackson crossover fic too but one thing continues to befuddle me... HOW THE HELL DO DEMIGODS EVEN WORK THERE? I checked the wiki and 'demigods' don't even get a page about it, they just get a short paragraph under the 'gods' wiki page and their explanation didn't even make any sense! I think I just have to make something up..

NOT THE WIKI PAGE 💀💀 that shit was so unhelpful dude

I didn't understand shit about demigods in ror verse omfg. I tried to reread the early manga chapters and here's what I learned so far:

Heracles is NOT a demigod. He WAS one. Remember when he was still human and he drank Ambrosia (aka Zeus' blood) in order to protect Thebes? When he drank the Ambrosia, he gained the strength of a god, BUT WAS STILL HUMAN. He was then referred to as a 'demigod' up until he finally ascended to godhood. So in Heracles' case, being a demigod means being a human with the strength of a god.

The Valkyries are a different case. None of them were born human because back in chapter one, Brunhilde states "I met [Lu Bu] on the battlefield" meaning she was at least over 1000 years old and immortal, which implies the other sisters are too. I have no idea if they're goddesses or just some other immortal being, but despite being born immortal, the Valkyries are still considered "demigods"

Not only that, but in the earlier chapters it was revealed that Brunhilde was once turned into a human and that's why she and the Valkyries are so sympathetic to them. The manga has yet to expand on what happened, but I headcanon that maybe in the Valkyries are considered demigods because they're immortal beings with the heart of a human (so basically the opposite of pre-ascension!Heracles)

So far, there have been no indication of any demigods that are actually BORN half-human and half-god like in the pjo verse. There's one other demigod, Siegfried, but it might be awhile since his story is expanded on 😟

SOOOO I decided to make my own shit up and make it impossible for humans to carry godly children in the ror verse. That way, when my fem!Percy gets isekai-ed there, she would be ✨special✨

(But I still wanna know the answer so I'm gonna tag this properly that way any ror fans can come and correct me if I'm wrong. WTF ARE DEMIGODS IN ROR??? HOW ARE THE VALKYRIES DEMIGODS??? HELP US)

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros": The Cat's Honeymoon

*once upon a time, a cat loved her owner so much she desired to be with him. The cat had traveled to a temple of Aphrodite and prayed to her, Aphrodite was so moved by this cat's love she metamorphosed her into a human woman....this is what happened afterwards*

Zeus: *holding a court against Aphrodite* ... Court is now in section. The court of Olympus vs Aphrodite on the charges of *reads a little slip of paper* ....ah yes....of complying to a breaking of natural law, unconsenting marriage between a human man and a female cat in the guises of a women....and ugh...ah yes. Sabotaging the prayer in an act of malicious hubris not conveyed by the victim.

Aphrodite: She DID consent, and the guy didn't seem to have a problem with either. Besides I changed her back. ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

Hades: *acting as judge* yes but you assisted in the act with a creature whom we have elaborated with several *looks at Dionysus and Artemis as the local cat experts* ....well...two... experts.....that cats are NOT animals we should be taking seriously in terms of granting prayers.

Artemis: yah, you literally can't trust cats.

Dionysus: However big cats are a lot more reasona-*Artemis covers his mouth*

Artemis: sssashhhhhhh no. No cats can't be trusted, big or small.

Ares: *doing his very bestest best to be Aphrodite's lawyer* Ah if I may make a supporting argument for my client.

Hades: *actually impressed with Ares's eloquence for once* you may state your plea.

Ares: This court is bullshit and Aph literally did nothing wrong.

Hades: *no longer impressed* aaaaaand you were doing so well.

Hermes, Poseidon and Dionysus: *cheering like a trio of simps*

Zeus: ARES WHAT HAVE I TOLD ABOUT INSULTING THE COURT OF LAW?!?

Ares: Official statement, suck my balls dad, also you did it to.

Zeus: YOU KNOW DAMN WELL ITS DIFFERENT WHEN A GOD DOES IT NOT A NATURAL BORN ANIMAL!

Pan: *somehow has decided to go up to the witness stand even though he literally was not allowed in court* I've actually had a relationship with that cat and yah she kinda has a thing for humans, it's kinda kinky but it's also kinda like... weird...even for me.

Hermes: *stands up and deadpan* Pan you're fucking grounded.

Pan: you're not my mom, you can't ground me.

Aphrodite: wow like wut I thought this court case was about me. (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)

Ares: don't worry sweet cakes, it's all part of my plan.

Aphrodite: wait wut plan? (⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|⁠）

Ares: if case you're guilty, we're gonna bust you out of jail.

Hephaestus: *outside with a weaponized bulldozer*......in hindsight, this would be a little more appropriate if she's actually was officially going to prison....*shrugs*

Aphrodite: awww.... wait wut? (⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠);

Hades: *just about had enough of this* order in the court *uses his gavel* and you all wonder why I refuse to come up stairs.

Aphrodite: soooo am I free to go or wut? ヘ⁠(⁠￣⁠ω⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠)

Hades: no. At least not until you admit it was a mistake on your end.

Aphrodite: ew wut no I never make mistakes. ƪ⁠(⁠‾⁠.⁠‾⁠“⁠)⁠┐

Ares: yeah wtf uncle?

Hades: .....she did wait until the honeymoon to change the cat back.

Literally everyone in god court: *gives that disappointment side eye look*

Ares: ......oooooooh. *leans to Aphrodite* yeh comeoneAphthatkindawasdickmove.

Aphrodite: ....mmmmmmmno. ヘ⁠(⁠￣⁠ω⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠)

Ares: mmmmmmyehitkindaisidontidwaituntiltheliteralnighttheyabouttofucktochangeherbackthatskindadickmove.

Aphrodite: jagaywjnwhah*+#+18!jshwjans.

*literally these two are now just communicating via inaudible whispering*

Zeus: ......you would think Hephaestus would be here to support Aphrodite.

Hades: hmm yes. Where is h-

*fucking loud as hell crashing into the fucking wall*

Hephaestus: ARES WOULD HURRY UP AND FAIL IN YOUR LEGAL DUTIES FOR THE LOVE OF CHAOS.

Ares: IM FUCKING WORKING ON IT YOU FORGE-APE!

Hephaestus: IF YOU ARE GOING TO STEAL MY WIFE THAN BE A MORE COMPETENT THEIFT YOU WAR MONGERING BOAR!

Aphrodite: awwww the both of you love me so much (⁠ ⁠˶⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ꁞ⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠˶⁠ ⁠)

Zeus: ....Did ....did Hephaestus just...crash into the wall with a bulldozer?

Hades: it's like my blood pressure is skyrocketing. If I die of a heart attack I'm going to write you off my will.

Zeus: *tenderly and with loving surprise* I'm in your will?.....*suddenly realizes* wait a minute you have a will? You are an immortal god what makes you believe you will die?!?!

Hades: If I leave the underworld again to THIS I will have to reconsider my constitution.

[mistyycowoa]

Meet the sillies in my head!

Long text post under cut :3

Misty: the one usually in control, agender asexual (they/them), the artist, simp, mentally similar age to irl, asocial + socially anxious, also the one currently writing lol

???: basically a 5-7 year old, aroace demigirl (she/they), likes role-play/dress up, throws annoying ass tantrums when tired, holds grudges, bursting with creativity, lacks any trace of common sense, believes in supernaturals/spirits/fantasy creatures sincerely, likes bugs, believes peace w/o violence is possible/very realistic (delulu af lmfao), also kind of a simp(?)

???: kind of a manifestation of my/our mentally ill state (depression(?) and fear of abandonment/loneliness), agender(but masc leaning)(no pronouns (what???)), kinda apathetic, violence enthusiast (wtf), sometimes plays along with us, disappears for long periods at a time, usually appears when (---) is not here/asleep but has interacted a bit before, cat lover, possible ghost/vengeful spirit

They (---,---) have names but doesn't wish to tell (changes name a lot/hasn't decided), (thinks the name I gave them is cringe)

--- and I are kind of sisters-ish relation, it's more like I got bored and split into two. There is no "original" because the process was too slow to see what happened + sometimes can fuse lmao wtf

--- has control of left arm and leg when I'm tired (aka waking up), makes this unnecessarily hard (ugh)

We used to have distinct "appearances" that I drew, but I didn't like it, --- wanted to constantly change it, --- thought it was unnecessary and abandoned it.

Regarding the colouring of the text, it's more or less our favourite colours. I like purple because it's a phase and I'm going to embrace it, --- likes pink because it apparently reminds them of hearts and bows and magic(???how), --- likes blue (specifically darker blues, like royal blue) because they apparently had a cat (before we were even born) and that cat was named sapphire. It passed away long before we knew of --- but the colour blue reminds them of it.

There have been other sillies before them, and many of them have since disappeared. I made memories with them that I'll never forget. They weren't the first, and I doubt they'll be the last, but so far, they're the ones who stayed the longest (~5-ish years). I think --- is already starting to disappear, and I don't know whether to smile or cry. I miss them dearly.

That's it for sillies in my head :3

[xtrablak674]

Familial Obligations

Patricia, Felicia, Tenesha and Koelesha. My Aunt Joyce had all daughters, being the polar opposite of her older sister Lizzie who had all boys. Curiously all her daughters had names with an "esha" sound in them. I know its not socially correct to use the term, but to me this is hella ghetto! With all due respect to Aunt Joyce, she started off well with Patricia and Felicia, cause they literally could be anyone of any race, but with my cousin Nene né Tenesha the full hood came out.

I was thinking about all of this while doing my yoga this morning, and was wondering who I could share these thoughts with. Then the obvious choice my twenty-eight year old niece Anisha who also has a "esha" sound in her name might want to know about this bit of family trivia.

"Good morning Ms. Gentle, I was thinking about your Great Aunt Joyce and her children's names. Now if I recall correctly your biological father was close to Aunt Joyce. And as I said I am not sure about any of this but it did strike me as an interesting coincidence. But all Aunt Joyce had nothing but daughters and they were named as follow:

Now it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that Aunt Joyce had a theme going on with her daughters names, but then it struck me that Anisha follows this same flow, it might have been a way to honor Aunt Joyce and your first cousins once removed. But as I said I have no information about how you were named, but this tidbit felt like it may possibly be related."

According to what my niece was told about her name it was after the song Iesha be Another Bad Creation, an early 90s R&B group. I shared with her how an NPR reporter thought she was named after the Stevie Wonder song, Isn't she lovely?, but ended up being named after the same song and how she was a bit offended she couldn't have been named after the classier Wonder song, versus the one hit wonders Another Bad Creation. Clearly more class stuff shared by me and that Aeyesha, but thats not what this entry is about.

This entry is about, whose responsibility is it to teach the next generation about their heritage?

Now I think obviously the first phase falls to the biological parents, albeit I think the entire village should assist in this. But my nieces bio father was nothing more than a sperm donor with the stories she has told me. Reminding me that I was the one who actually initiated the relationship with her, because my brother never introduced me to his first-born child. #wtf

Consequently I shared her grandmothers siblings and their children, that I could remember, with the caveat that anyone born after nineteen eight-four when I left to live with my paternal grandparents I didn't know as well, and that some of the spellings may be off because as a child I never wrote my cousins names I only spoke them, and many if not all of them had nicknames...

It saddened me deeply that the genealogy hadn't even been thought to be shared with her, but this is from the same group of parents who hadn't really made an effort for her to know all of siblings, something that was also problematic to me. Albeit I am not the most pro-family person, I do think its important for parents to do their due diligence and make sure that their children know all of their siblings whether there's a prefix before their honorarium or not.

Robert, my father did an excellent job of not only making sure I knew most or all of his cousins but all his aunts and uncles great and otherwise. Even if I don't remember them I am sure that he bought me around and introduced me to all of them that he could in the tri-state area. And I applaud him for this, because I think this is exactly what you're supposed to do make an attempt so your children can know as much of their family as possible, whether those relationships continue is another matter.

I truly believe my early life's strong connection to my family was just due to the fact that we were geologically closely located. I saw my first cousins and aunts and uncle all the time because we all lived within two miles of each other. This dynamic changed when I moved to the Bronx with my father's parents, there was family about, but not as close as living in the same town or maybe a few block away.

Every time Anisha says she hasn't seen her brothers since she was like fifteen and she's about to be thirty is so distressing to me. Its like someone has dropped the ball. Blended families are the norm across the entire planet, but the thing is they do need work to maintain and it just seems to me more and more parents and extended families are failing in their responsibilities to keep up these connections and it makes me feel very concerned about the future of families.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Request: Can I please ask for a scenario where Chisaki's S/o is blind? One day she asks him if she could 'see his face' and he is like wtf? But then bam! Hands carresing every inch of his face gently and she just start to smile saying that he is beautiful. (Oh, that without his beak mask, only his casual or not at all)

He honestly didn't know what words he could use to describe his thoughts about your condition.

He didn't felt exactly... pity. Without vision you couldn't see the atrocities of the word out there, you couldn't see the sickness spreading on the society... yet you couldn't see the beauty of some rare things on this word.

One day he even dared to ask if you wanted for him to find something to give your vision back... but got surprised when you told him with a sweet smile that you didn't need it, and even if you wanted, you had been born blind.

He was intelligent, but not God to gave you vision.

So everytime you asked for him to describe something so silly, like how the sky looks when it's dark and full with stars, he does explain. Blantly, but never failing on bringing that smile to your face.

"I can tell you've been thinking on something or just ignoring me?" He snapped out of hsi thoughts to look at you, pure as ever, entering his office.

"Apologies." He sighed while getting up "Thoughts sometimes leave me like this."

"You don't say." You cooed while he scoffed, making you giggle the slightest as he circled around you, your face still remained intact. "Why you're walking around me like a lion Kai?"

"Observing." He stated before stopping in front of you "Your other senses are great as ever at least."

"... Kai?" You suddenly sounded unsure, tapping your foot slightly on the carpet as he arched an eyebrow "Can I ask for something?"

"It depends." He muttered, lowering his mask since usually when you were like this it was because you wanted a kiss for him.

"Can I see you?" He widen his eyes a bit at that before gagging on his words.

"You can see now?" He asked in disbelief before he froze when you took only two steps closer to him, one or two inches at maximun aqay from him...

Ever so slowly, both of your warm and soft hands lifted up to touch his chest, rubbing only for a bit the tip of your fingers on him.

The strangest thing was that he didn't felt hives creeping through his skin at the contact... he felt tense but not exactly uncomfortable with that as he stared down at you with a frow.

You surprised him when you slided your fingers up, one hand coming to trace his jaw line while the other touched his Adam Apple's gently with only two fingers.

The way your bare skin came in touch with his was simply... electrifying. Just when he was about to question your action, both of your hands came to cup his cheeks.

Your face remained stoic and even as you were inspecting something as he looked down at you.

Your gentle fingers traced every bit of his skin, nose, eyebrows, forehead and for the last thing his lips. When you finished you smiled serenely as some tears escaped from your eyes.

"Why are you crying now?" He asked more confused than ever, but his voice came out sounding a bit harsh than it should due to his embarrassment.

"You're so beautiful Kai, why you even wear a mask again..?" You cupped his face again as you continue to smile and gasp in awe as you carresed his face with your thumbs.

First time on his life that he swore he could be touched by hours by you, and only, that he wouldn't even bother... it was for your enjoyment after all...

His own gloved hands grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket as his free hand cupped your cheek to wipe off the residue of the waterdrops in your angel's face.

"Oh my god! You never told me you had piercings! Why?!" You asked in a enchanted laughter as your fingers traced gently his left ear as he allowed himself to smile at the sign in front of him.

He only could wish that you could see the godness that was you in front of him... if you gushed so much about his appearance than imagine yours...

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on DD Book 1 Chapter 5

• Content Warning: There are references to slut shaming while speaking about opera singers, and I speak about executions in the Hamid scene (I've not added grisly details or anything, but to me what I have included does sound a little macabre). I don't know if those warrant a warning, but I'd like to err on the side of caution and ensure that anyone comfortable with that knows this before they make the decision to proceed.

• Okay on with the QT!

• Why hello there, fancy hot looking Ottoman prince dude.

• Looks like not one but both of my MCs will be living the thot life.

• Apologies for the huge delay guys. There was a LOT to unpack this chapter, and it took me a while to actually explore, confirm my research and get a clear idea overall of how I wanted to approach this one. I'm hoping once TRR ends I can get these babies out earlier.

• You know what I realised? The Lady Grandma LIKES a sassy bitch. There are several times this chapter she's actually been more approving of my headstrong Marianne than she has been of my more mild-mannered Florence. See all of this:

She's mostly approving of this, however, when Henrietta is the recipient of this behaviour, but there are also points where she appreciates the MC's candor (if she chooses to show it) such as if the MC refers to the art of the fan as "ridiculous". If there is one thing that consistently gets on Dominique's nerves, it is occasions where the MC might speak of herself and her former background negatively, mostly out of annoyance because it shows she hasn't comfortably settled into her role yet, and Dominique needs the MC to do so if Edgewater is to stay within in the family and bloodline.

• Also I love the subtle streak of independence we get to see in Annabelle. She is someone who is doing what is expected of her, someone who tries to make the best of her circumstances the only way she knows how, but she is also refreshingly open about how stressful it is for her to go down this path, even in her free scenes. She is also playful and mischievous and doesn't take herself too seriously, which makes a lot of her scenes a joy to do.

• I also really really liked the option where you tell her she's the one you want to marry, and her reaction is both a disbelief that such a dream could come true alongside a receptiveness to the idea. It's soft and sweet and beautiful.

• So we start out with a crash course on the nobility we'll meet in London (Alfred Halloway, whose daughter Felicity is debuting this season, and the Barrymore family, who are related to the Halloways by marriage). Only this time, Annabelle wants to be a snarky little boss and fill the MC in on all the juicy gossip that Lady Grandmother won't give her.

• Lady Grandmother: Alfred Holloway is the viscount of Lochdale. His daughter, Felicity, will be coming from her estate at Bellington Hall to make her debut this season.

Miss Parsons: Alfred Holloway is an arrogant prig who looks like an Easter ham studded with cloves.

(For the record, this is what a clove-studded Easter ham seems to look like:

Holy shit Annabelle you savage af)

Lady Grandmother: Miss Holloway's family is also tied by marriage to the Earl of Barrymore...

Miss Parsons: Oh, avoid the Earl of Barrymore. His bed has more traffic than Drury Lane!

Annabelle here must be referring to the crowd that tends to flock around the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, which was popular as a source of entertainment for its plays and had a seating capacity of 3000 people.

• The free scene with Annabelle is important because it eases us gently into the main themes of her scene later on. The women get to speak about the whole concept of a "marriage market", and straight off the bat Annabelle lets us know how uncomfortable she is with having to go through a wedding to another man.

• She also speaks about what else - besides the fact that Harry was her closest friend - about his death affected her. Having been promised to Harry, Annabelle didn't have to go through the rigamarole of finding a husband. She had learned to settle with the idea of being married to someone who she knew and liked at least, if not loved. It's sad to us modern readers now that Annabelle would have to settle for less than passion or love, but back then I don't think she could have imagined a better deal. And now...and now she will have to settle for even less than what she had with Harry. This was a pretty neat way of easing us into the larger conversation she has with us in her diamond scene.

• A few days pass, and Briar is now helping us get ready for the trip to London. You have the option of encouraging her romance with Mr Woods, which...cmon. They cute 😊

•

Ooh so our House Colours are navy blue and gold! (considering that the Earl's default outfit itself is navy blue, I should have figured that would be a house colour). It's nice but MY NECK WHERE IS MY NECK.

Did You Know: that up until the middle of the 19th century, men's and women's riding habits were largely made by men in a distinctively masculine style. This is what Candice Hern's article "Regency Habits, Overview" on her website Regency World, says:

"Though the style and cut of riding habits changed with time and fashion, they continued to be tailored in a masculine style throughout the 17th and 18th centuries and into the early 19th century. In La Belle Assemblée in 1815, we read that: “Habits have, ever since they were first brought into fashion, been considered as decidedly calculated to give even the most delicate female a masculine appearance, and the wits of our grandmothers’ days were unmercifully severe on the waistcoat, cravat, and man’s hat which were then the indispensible appendages to a habit.”"

•

YOU'RE NOT COMING WTF DAD NO.

• WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'LL DO TO YOU WHILE I'M GONE.

• I'm having a sinking feeling about leaving my old dad around in this house while Henrietta is still there, Grandma had better be his bodyguard (or maybe not. Cordonians seem to have weird ideas of what constitutes a successful bodyguard *COUGHCOUGH Mara and Bastien COUGHCOUGH*).

• Like most of the fandom I have a feeling the Earl will die sooner than we think. @i-dream-so-i-write once mentioned that it could well be towards the end of the book, and I think that's a fitting dramatic turn this book would take into the next. I'm going to miss the hell outta this guy though 😟

• Henrietta sent Mr Marlcaster and Miss Sutton ahead of time so they can screw things up for us, so we will need to butter them up like no tomorrow when we reach there, apparently.

• Hello Luke! It's been exactly one chapter!

• Kinda like the bonding the MC and Luke have with regards to the horse. Their first real conversation began with Clover, so it is fitting that their bonding continues over her at least for their initial interactions.

• Aww man, Henrietta wants Clover the horse to be sold and they give you a diamond option to keep her, name her and get extra scenes with her. Florence calls her Moonstone, Marianne calls her Pepper. Moonstone suits Florence's particular sense of whimsy, and I figured Marianne would want something short and snappy and it helped that Luke gave the horse some salt before the diamond option came up 😂

It's a fairly nice scene I guess, but it drives me batty because this book is already taking astronomical sums of money early on in the book, and people are already beginning to get frustrated. Even TRR, which is a pretty expensive book, took more than half the book before they pushed forward the option to buy the Derby horse. It just is beginning to feel like too much too soon at this point.

• Of all the free scenes this chapter, my favourite has to be the exchange among the four in the picnic en route London.

I found this particularly interesting because all of these people, so far, have been outside the rigors of the Season in some way or other. Briar is the most outside of this system of doing things: she has grown up completely out of it and will probably always struggle to understand the way things work within the gentry. Luke has spent years in that environment (that of the gentry) so he knows some of it, but he still is and will always be an outsider. Annabelle has grown up in this environment and is perhaps the closest to it, but has never had to take active part due to her association with Harry and the Edgewater Estate. And the MC straddles both these worlds. She is an heiress, part of this high society, but she was born in and more familiar with Briar's worldview. And I love how this scene captures all this in just a few bits of dialogue.

• Also Luke's sensible response to Annabelle's question and Briar being a teasing little imp is super cute, I will fight anyone who disagrees with me on this 😂😂😂

• So many gems nestled in Annabelle's scene guys I can't even. There's so much going on in this one. So much.

•

The main thing this scene does is to - without a doubt - establish Annabelle as a closeted lesbian. She's still at the stage where she's aware and finds it odd that she doesn't hold any affection for any man, that the idea itself of marriage frustrates her, and her growing confusion that she's now feeling for a woman all that she "should" be feeling for a man. There are points where she almost welcomes it, like the scene I mentioned earlier, but she still is clearly struggling.

The MC has three ways of responding to this - one where she misses the point completely and says "you haven't found the right man yet" (Marianne, unfortunately), another where she states that she "understands" (which is left open - either it is a gesture of support from an ally, or it is from someone who understands her dilemma to...well...some extent. Florence is the second. She is bi, so her "I understand" was basically "I've fallen for some men sure but I also have a hard time figuring out what my sexuality is"). My favourite is the response where the MC speaks of facing a similar dilemma in her life and is an excellent choice if your MC is also a lesbian. I couldn't use this one for Florence or Marianne because it didn't ring true for either of them, but I did see the screenshots on tumblr and it's quite poignant.

Did You Know: Lesbian/sapphic relationships and sex were not as much seen as illegal as invisible...and this was an attitude that a later monarch, Queen Victoria, would uphold as well, refusing to sign a legislation to criminalize it by insisting that "women do not do such things". Obviously as we all know, she couldn't be any more wrong. Today we know of famous lesbian women of the Regency as Anne Lister, owner of Shibden Hall, and the Ladies of Llangollen - two women from Ireland named Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby, who had a romantic relationship for over 50 years. Gail Eastwood, in an article titled "Queer in the Regency: a Slice of Once-Hidden LGBT History" says:

Defying their families, the two established an estate in Wales, called Plas Newydd, rather than enter into marriages with men they did not love. Though they incurred significant debt in order to have a staff, they survived on the generosity of friends until a fascinated Queen Charlotte convinced King George III to grant them a pension.

Plas Newydd became something of a haven for writers during the Regency era, especially since the couple living there could afford to keep it. 

Part of me wonders if elements of this story may be found in the Annabelle x MC route. Or like Anne Lister, who was well-endowed enough financially that she could refrain from marriage and have relationships with women. Maybe, or - given the limitations of having to chart out a storyline that will suit every LI - maybe not. Whatever it is, I'd be very interested in finding out how they'll handle the MC's romance with Annabelle.

• The second most interesting thing is Annabelle speaking about her poetry, and the restrictions her father has kept on her talent. She mentions him looking down on women's poetry as being "all bad rhymes and flowery sentiment", and that - in keeping with the times - he prefers Romantic Age poets such as Wordsworth, and that famous influence on Romanticism, Shakespeare. If we choose to ask her about showing us her poetry, she tells us her writing is "of a...delicate nature" (get it, girl! 😀) and if we choose to encourage her instead, the MC makes references to Mary Wollstonecraft, whose ideas of gender equality were considered radical for the times, and who is seen as one of the earliest feminist icons.

Did You Know: that in a time when female education was mainly geared to prepare women for their domestic roles, Mary Wollstonecraft advocated for women to receive an education that would help them survive beyond the home and the marriage market, stating that the one real barrier in the way of gender equality was the disparity in the education women received compared to men. She says, "this homage to women’s attractions has distorted their understanding to such an extent that almost all the civilized women of the present century are anxious only to inspire love, when they ought to have the nobler aim of getting respect for their abilities and virtues".

Her daughter, Mary Shelley, would write the famous novel Frankenstein in 1818, two years following the events of Desire and Decorum.

• Within this scene also lies a little tidbit that will hold some importance in Chapter 7: the MC tells Annabelle that her mother used to sing in the opera:

So this could be the root of some of the snarky remarks Henrietta makes about the MC's mother. She has close pretty darn close to calling her a "prostitute" on more than one occasion, and her comment after the MC sang along with Annabelle in chapter 3 about how it was "no wonder" that the MC could sing, given her mother's profession.

Did You Know: Opera singers had a very different reputation in the Regency era, not all of it very positive. Shana Galen, who is described as a Regency adventure author, speaks about how opera singers were viewed at the time: Of course, it was perfectly acceptable for a young lady to show her talents on the pianoforte or to sing in front of a small group of family and friends, but performing on the stage at Drury Lane or Covent Garden were frowned upon.

Female performers, especially, were shunned by society. One example of this sort of attitude was seen in the ridicule faced by a singer named Dorothea Jordan, who had an long-running affair with a Duke, bore him ten children, and who was the subject of a "satirical cartoon that showed her in her bedroom, gazing adoringly at a duchess’ coronet, which she hopes someday to wear by marrying her lover. A map on the wall purports to show the route from “Strolling Lane” (i.e. prostitution) through “Old Drury Common” all the way to “Derbyshire Peak.” A genealogical chart of the nobility lies on her dressing table, and her bed-hangings are crowned by a Phrygian cap, symbol of the French Revolution. The latter is intended to ridicule her pretensions to nobility; as a common woman, let alone an actress, she should know her place" ("Glimpse at Opera during Jane Austen's Lifetime" by Maggi Andersen, for the blog Historical Hearts).

• Luke's scene on the other hand is lighter in content but is important if you look at it from the viewpoint of establishing his role in the MC's life before they reach London. As a neutral friend, he is happy to serve her and considers her a vast improvement over Countess Henrietta. He tells her that she possesses what Henrietta lacks, understands something that Henrietta would never understand in several lifetimes: that looking down on people she believes as her 'inferiors' will leave her at a disadvantage eventually.

But if you hint at having feelings for Luke, the entire mood of the scene changes, and you see him feeling torn between his growing affections for her and his recognition that any relationship beyond the professional will end badly for them all.

• The thing with both Luke and Annabelle is that to not fall for them is to maintain the status quo. So even if there is an element of attraction, the MC not reciprocating does not tip the delicate balance that governs their lives at Edgewater over. But when she does...it gives rise both to moments of joy...and moments of fear.

• Ooh I love the animation for the train!!

I mean...just...look at this!

• The MC and Briar get to react in awe to their first sight of London before they get down from the carriage. We find out that we're pretty much stranded on the streets of London and no one has come to pick us up. Gee thanks, stepbro.

• Not gonna lie, but seeing Prince Hamid's shocked!face on his full-body shot made me giggle a little.

• He introduces himself as Imperial Prince Hamid, cousin to "his Imperial Majesty Mahmoud the Second, Caliph of Islam, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, and Custodian of the Two Mosques (the last especially was used in royal titles for many Islamic rulers, and refers to the Al-Haram Mosque (al-Masjid al-Ḥarām) of Mecca, and the Prophet's Mosque (Al-Masjid An-Nabawī) of Medina).

• In a sense he kinda reminds me of Kamilah: he is a fictional character positioned as being related to an actual historical figure, so they will give us plenty of background about the countries they were from (Egypt and Turkey [Istanbul in this case], respectively) but keep the actual historical figure at a distance. Making the fictional character a cousin and a person of an important position in that court is a smart choice to make: they're important enough to represent the royals of the times but distanced enough that it doesn't seem unnatural if they aren't that close and ergo can't tell you personal details about said historical figure.

• Did You Know: Sultan Mahmud II (the cousin Hamid mentions) was seen as quite a progressive ruler of his times. 1829 onwards, he tried to bring many, many reforms into the Ottoman empire, including (according to the Encyclopedia Britannica article on him) "adopting the cabinet system of government, provided for a census and a land survey, and inaugurated a postal service (1834), introducing compulsory primary education, opening a medical school, and sending students to Europe. In addition, the sultan’s right to confiscate the property of deceased officials was abolished, and European dress was introduced". It looks like some elements of this way of thought could be reflected in Hamid, from his talk of diplomacy in his diamond scene.

• Hamid not only positions himself as a bit of an outsider to England but also as a man who travels: talk of travelling and seeing the world is his ice-breaker when they get into the carriage. This will allow him not only to help familiarize the MC with London, and his home Constantinople, but also give her (and us) a view of what the world looks like at this point. For instance, if the MC speaks of even London is unfamiliar territory to her, he mentions the Blue Mosque, the construction of which was completed exactly 200 years prior to the events of the story.

• The other very essential point of this scene is to provide a bit of a parallel to Luke, but also as a counterpoint. Luke is disadvantaged both by his class and his race - ergo he has a very layered perspective. Hamid has privileges, but he is also aware of and in some ways used to the reception he gets in England, and has figured out how he wants to respond. Both Luke and Hamid find their ways to cope with their situation, and the MC is allowed - according to the ethnicity chosen for her - to relate to both.

Florence, for instance, relates heavily to this as someone is visibly a foreigner even though England is the only home she has ever known. Marianne does not fully understand this, but she can tell him like any decent human being would that she thinks it's wrong of people to treat him that way.

• Just prior to this the two manage to see the Tower of London, notorious for the imprisonment and execution of many, many people including royals and nobles. There is a short but rather poignant conversation on the "many people tortured and murdered over who had the right to sit on the throne" (among the people executed, you will find names like Anne Boleyn, Thomas More, Lady Jane Grey, Guy Fawkes and Walter Raliegh).

• Did You Know: For a long long time in England, executions were seen as a bit of a spectator sport. The more unusual the criminal, the bigger the crowd. The Capital Punishment UK blog speaks of the kind of atmosphere usually present around the time:

In many counties, executions were held on market days to enable the largest number of people to see them and school parties would be made to attend as a moral lesson, something which is certainly recorded as happening at Lancaster Castle.  Public houses and gin shops always did a very brisk trade on a hanging day.  

However, attitudes towards executions experienced a shift around the late 18th-early 19th century, and by 1864 Parliament established a Royal Commission on Capital Punishment, with a declaration that executions would take place inside the prisons rather than in public.

I'm not sure if this was intentional, but possibly the MC's and Hamid's reactions to the tower may be reflective of their times.

• Interestingly, Annabelle is shown to look jealous if you've been romancing her, and giving you a sly grin if you're just friends. I quite liked that little touch. Luke meanwhile is a little less open about how he feels at this point: whether you're romancing him or not, he is described as "watching you carefully" during your exchange with Hamid.

• So Mr Marlcaster got the letter from the Duchess to send a groom for picking the MC, but didn't...as per his mother's demands, surely. But AT LEAST you should have been a little prepared to answer me in case I dropped by anyway, dude? Instead of just standing there and staring at me like a scandalized goldfish.

• Looks like Edmund is still going to try screwing things up for us, and we'll need to find a way to get him on our side. After all, we get relationship points with both him and Theresa Sutton, and Lady Grandmother did tell us we could find a way to get them to be with us rather than against us.

• I'm looking forward to Chapter 5...but it's Chapter 6 I REALLY want to see. We're going to learn a bit more about the MC's mother's background!

General Thoughts:

• OMG so much was there to unpack this chapter!! A lot of it to do with Annabelle and Hamid, and Luke has taken a bit of a backseat this chapter but I'm hoping that's a taster of what's to come in his case.

• Look I love this story but IT COSTS SO MUCH. WTF. Keeping Clover was a nice option but it really added nothing to this chapter and could have easily been shifted elsewhere. I want this book to do well. I'm happy with how they're writing it, the effort they're putting into their research and into their characters so far...and I would hate for it to not be appreciated because they made it so hard for people to get into the book by making it this expensive so early.

• Florence is going for Annabelle and Luke (leaning more towards Annabelle at this point), and Marianne for Hamid and Sinclaire (I'm not sure yet but Hamid is a very very strong contender!!). Who would have thought I'd have my first polyam MCs in a book on Regency Era England!! Who woulda thunk!

• Annabelle particularly intrigues me at this point. She is clearly established as both inside and outside of this system, and vocally critical of it at least to the MC. She writes about her desires against the chargin of her father, and states that she doesn't want to merely settle into a 'safe' relationship like her mother, not unless she can know and trust that person (which is mostly why she agreed to the match with Harry even if she didn't love him). She is confused, and open and honest about her confusion. I really think the foundation of this character is immensely strong, but they really need to keep working on her and not just drop their efforts on her halfway. And I've seen that happen enough times with female LIs to be afraid.

• At this point, we now have three male LIs (one Master of Horse who is African-American, one family-approved eligible bachelor and one prince of the Ottoman Empire) and one female love interest. Is there space for one more confirmed female LI? I sure hope so but at the same time I don't want keep my hopes up.

However...IF the plan is to keep just one female LI, then they'd better do a pretty darn phenomenal job of her. If you're not going to give wlw players other options it's only fair to make sure the only option is given really, really good writing - consistently. They're doing a good job so far...but there's a long long way to go before I can fully trust PB to do justice to her.

• That's it for now! On to Chapter 6!

• Tagged: @boneandfur @liamraines @thespiritpanda @alanakusumastan @ernestsinclairs @private-investigator-nazario @bcdollplace @thedepthsremember @mcbangle @queenodysseia @novaelaras

If you'd like to be tagged on these QTs, do let me know! 😀

[mcrmadness]

Hope it's ok to reblog this - if not, just let me know and I'll delete the reblog.

But seriously, this! I know someone who is trans and also with them it took ages to get it started because the doctors were like "you're too depressed you need to get your mental health fixed first or you won't be able to deal with transitioning". And somehow it just did no cross their minds, no matter how many times people explained it to them (the doctors), that maybe there is a link between mental health problems and having to live in the wrong body??? Fortunately they eventually let this person start with the transitioning despite the depression, and they're doing much much better already, thanks to finally being closer and closer to the kind of body they have always felt like they should have.

With me, on the other hand, it's the ADHD case and I can fully relate to all these. I'm afab and was very shy and quiet kid, plus I was born in the early 90s. I found out the term "ADHD" came to use in Finland in 2000 or so.

I have now been trying to get tested for ADHD for almost 2 years, and I have been "testes" but not with actual, proper ADHD tests. Plus my doctor keeps telling me I already had the neuropsychiatric tests done twice in my life - and that usually these are done to an individual just once or twice in their life and there will not be "new revelations" later in life afterwards. Well, if I had known that, I would have told them not to do the test when I was 12 and then again when I was 22. At the age of 12 I got only the diagnosis for social anxiety but they didn't want to even hand it out to us, until my mom got actually angry at them and demanded to see the papers, and they, reluctantly, gave them to us when I was 14. Originally the test was done because my school saw I had problems with social anxiety and wanted to help me with that, and I went to tests and everything and then suddenly the doctors go like "wait no actually you don't need anything, good luck with junior high :)" and I had loads of problems at school because of this.

Then I was 22 and I swear the doctor had already decided that I MUST have asperger's because my sister has it, and I'm sure she just looked at me being neurodivergent, and me saying "I don't like people" (as I'm an introvert) as a sign of autism. And I have always felt that if I mention somewhere that I am not interested in relationships, they also take this as a sign of autism. When I'm just aroace and these have nothing to do with my neurodiversity, and it's just ableist towards actually autistic people to think they are uncapable of loving or liking other people. So, I actually got an Asperger's diagnose, and no one told me about it, the doctor never ever said it to me, just said she thinks I might have it despite me telling her several times that I don't relate to autism AT ALL. Then one day I went to see my medical records and wtf, an Asperger's diagnose??? And now I can't get rid of it!

My current doctor keeps telling me there is no signs of ADHD from my childhood so there is no need to look into that more. The latest meeting he ended up with "I think you should just stop thinking about that adhd and try to find out how to make your life more pleasant :)" Like. Are you kidding me? My memory problems, executive dysfunction, inability to focus even on my hobbies unless I feel 110% ready to commit to it (e.g. drawing)... Yeah, pretty sure getting a diagnose or at least tested for ADHD would increase the quality of my life much much more. Right now I have so much anxiety and sometimes probably over things like memory issues that are perfectly normal but I always worry over it being something dangerous, when it might just be ADHD.

It's really frustrating to live in that constant state of not knowing something. You know something is clearly "wrong" but people (the professionals...) insist you should have had something even more wrong when you were a kid, cos now you basically don't qualify for an ADHDer as an adult...

Finnish mental health care system is indeed a joke. When I suspected that I may have ADHD and wanted a professional to look into it, I was indeed also tested first if I'd qualify for the tests first. They said I'd need written accounts from childhood teachers or something similar to qualify for a test, but my focus problems only really became a problem at university due to its "make your own structure" -nature. Symptoms becoming a problem later in life? What is that?

It took me 10 years to get diagnosed as transgender, and after the first 4 years of being tested, they decided that I wasn't "distressed enough" about getting a diagnosis - I had been playing my anxiety down out of fear that they'd decide I'm "too depressed" to endure transitioning, and they bought my bluff too well and thought I was too chill about this whole thing.

I'm waiting for the catch 22 here, too. Either they'll decide that if I REALLY wanted to be diagnosed, I'd have arranged all my papers and shit much better than this, or that if I REALLY had ADHD, I wouldn't be able to have my papers done right.

If it takes 10 years again, I'll be disappointed but not surprised.