#and like my other coworkers defended me but like. how insensitive do you have to be to say shit like that man

[r4trave]

cmon man

[plumbobtv]

The After Show - Episode 4

Welcome to the after show Octavia, your seventh season! Haha, thank you for having me. I am so excited to do this, we finally get to talk about the season while it’s airing... Took 7 seasons, but here we are.

Exactly! We’re about to get into the episode, but first we wanna ask. How did you feel going into filming this season? I was ready to film, especially since we didn’t have a reunion last season. I felt like there was a lot to talk about & a lot of changed dynamics. This was always gonna become a great season.

Talking about great seasons... What is your least favorite season so far? Uhm... That’s kinda easy. Season 2 for sure, because it was gang up on me. I don’t like that at all, I almost left after that season.

Well, we’re glad you stayed. Let’s get into the episode shall we? I am ready, let’s do this.

We start the episode in your home, you just visited Saffron after her home invasion... How was finding out what had happened for you? It was horrible. I remember waking up and having a million text messages, from everyone I knew. They we’re all asking how Saffron was doing & if I knew more... It was a surreal moment for I think all of us.

I can imagine. You went by her home with Judith & Courtney, how was that? Seeing her for the first time. Very emotional, she was broken... Like I don’t wanna say too much, since you’ll see a lot of her process and stuff on the show. And I wanna give her the chance to tell her story. But the year didn’t start of good for her, that’s for sure.

Victoria comes by your home, why did you invite her? I felt bad about how Judith’s diner went, she left very upset. So I originally invited her to talk about how she was doing. But logically, the conversation changed...

Victoria makes some very insensitive comments, did you expect any of that from her if you look back? Never, I swear. I knew Saffron & Victoria weren’t great friends. But in my mind, in a situation like this, that doesn’t matter. You’re a sim, you have feelings. What had happened to Saffron was beyond the shows feuds. To say your stuff is just as important, that's just horrible.. I have no words for that.

Next scene is Heather having lunch with Courtney & Lilly. That lunch doesn’t go well... Lilly shares her theories about the home invasion with the ladies. How did you feel hearing about this? I only heard about this quite late... But I was shocked. Like I know you needed to deliver to stay full time Lilly... But there are boundaries... And let's just say, she overstepped.

How is your relationship with Lilly Feng now? We have no relationship. There is no friendship, there never really was. Because she wasn’t really open to it. She was just a coworker. 

Then we see Mila & her husband having diner... That seemed... Interesting.. Yeah, it didn’t look very nice... He doesn’t seem to really... Respect her? I know this will be brought up by other ladies later in the season too. So I guess we’ll see it play out then.

You visits Judith & tell her what Mila said about her... Why? Because she said it on camera, so it’s already gonna be out there. The only thing I really did was give Judith an opportunity to defend herself.

Why did you bring Thorn to Courtney’s party? Because she had mentioned that she had some leftover spaces at the table, because of others not coming. So I said why don’t I bring my husband, then he can get to know yours... She liked that idea.

You tell Courtney how you think she is a good fit for the group, still agree? Definitely, I think Courtney is one of the best castings so far. She fits into the group very well, isn’t scared to speak up & is fucking funny too! I love her.

Judith shades Heather in her confessional for wanting her office filmed. Do you think she has a second motive for wanting to film there? Well... I was the one who kinda told Judith Ward. I know some information, that makes me believe she does have a second motivation.. But we will get to that.

You bring up Victoria’s insensitive comments at the diner table. Why do it there instead of in private conversation? Because we’re filming a reality show honey. We need to bring things up on camera, because we need the story to roll... Like if I wouldn’t ever bring stuff up on camera, y’all would be bored to death. I think that if you say stuff on camera, you need to own it. Own the mistakes, fix them. I give you that chance.

So Victoria should be grateful you brought it up? Yes, because by bringing it up. We talk about it and that gives you the opportunity to publicly apologize for what you have done.

Victoria walks away from the conversation... You & Courtney decide to follow her, why did you do that? She can’t keep walking away. She has already left 3/4 cast events because there was drama. She creates the drama, so finish it. You want the screen time with drama, then have the time.

Victoria ends up calling Courtney soulless. That went too far for you? 100%! Who says that to someone, your coworker. Have some respect for your colleague even if you are feuding. Victoria had too much to drink that night and was very emotional. She was a mess honestly.

Do you agree with Judith? Is Heather enabling Victoria’s behavior? For sure, it’s very clear. Heather always chooses Victoria side, even against someone she has been friends with for years. That’s... Wrong. Because Victoria is clearly wrong.

You say you’re seeing another Victoria this season, explain? Uhm.. I have known Victoria for 4 years now, since she joined the show. She has always been messy & dramatic, she loves creating moments for herself. But this season she has a different vibe around her. She is always in a negative mood and bringing others down, she has a lot of low blows. This isn’t a side of her I like.

Any clue on why she is this way? No, I have no clue. But I would love to hear her explain at the reunion. However, she is probably just gonna deflect.

Guess we’ll have to wait & see... Thank you for being here and hopefully we’ll see you again soon! Yes, I liked doing this very much. Hope to be back soon, if I have time haha.

[dreamywriterinthedark]

Recess sobs and bedtime resolutions

Pairing: fem!Reader x Spencer

Request: Ok so the reader is a psychologist and is married to spencer and they have a 5 year old daughter who gets in trouble for punching a kid because they picked on her because they didn't beleive her dad was in the fbi If that makes sense any who if you don't write this i get it I just want to see speancers reaction

Trigger warnings: bullying, physical violence. (let me know if i forgot something)

Category: fluff, slight angst.

A/N: thank you so much for this request! I hope you like it. The daughter sounds a bit older than 5, in my head she’s in the early stages of elementary school. Let me know what you think about it! I’d be glad to receive some feedback. (Btw I hurt my own feelings writing this, you can’t even imagine...)

You were in your office, a typical Tuesday afternoon until you heard your office phone ring once more. You held up your finger to make your client pause what they were saying, you picked up the phone only to hang up.

“I apologise for the inconvenience. Now where were we ?” you said trying to get your client comfortable again despite the ringing. As she was about to speak up again, your cellphone rang, Spencer’s name lit up your screen and that’s when you were starting to get concerned.

“I’m so sorry I have to get that.” You said exiting the office to take the call. You were happy to hear your significant other’s voice nonetheless you knew he wouldn’t normally call you during working hours.

“Hi darling, is everything okay ?”

“No, not really. The school called, there’s an emergency.” he responded wrapping his scarf around his neck as he was making his way to the elevator.

“What happened ?” you asked getting more and more worried.

“She punched a classmate in the face. Can you believe it ?!” he pressed the button 0 waving goodbye to his coworkers.

“What ? Our daughter? Jane ? Are you sure it’s not her evil twin ?”

“Eviler twin you mean ? No offense, Y/n, but if she had one, I’m pretty sure you would remember…”

“Alright, I’ll tell my secretary to cancel all my appointments for the day. I’ll meet you there.”

“Love you, bye.”

“Love you too.” You answered before hanging up. You made it a little bit of a rule to yourself to never say ‘goodbye’ to him because you thought that if you did it may increase the chances of you never seeing him again. You knew it was a bit silly but with all those times he was close to death, you’d believe in any superstition if that meant he would get home safe.

After taking care of your client and letting your secretary handle the rest, you hurried out of your office to drive to your daughter’s elementary school.

You pushed the interphone button, once you were allowed entrance you walked to the principal’s office. You softly knocked, when the door opened it showed Spencer sitting in a chair right across the desk, next to it was an empty chair meant for you.

“I’m sorry, I came as I soon as I could.” you apologized.

“Well, I assume you’re Jane’s mother. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Principal Walker.” he greeted shaking your hand. As you sat down, Spencer gave you his best polite white smile.

“Do you know what you’re here for ?” he inquired.

“You said our daughter was involved in a conflict with a student...” you answered.

“Your daughter punched a student in the face.” He said bluntly.

“Right…”

“Are you sure it’s Jane ?” Spencer asked still struggling to believe it.

“Wait until you see her knuckles...”

Spencer put his face in his hands in defeat, you rubbed his shoulder to bring him comfort.

“What happened exactly ?” you asked.

“Well, it was during the 10AM break. Jane went out to play with her classmates when a boy started arguing with her. Next thing we hear is a scream, the boy is on the floor crying.”

You and Spencer both looked at each other with an immense look of stupor.

“The boy, did he bully her ?” Spencer asked trying to find some innocence in the sweet child of his.

“Not that we know of.” answered the principal.

“Is he okay though ?” you questioned.

“Yes, just a minor injury. He went back home.”

You nodded, “So what happens next ?”

“We are giving her a warning but the next time something like this happens there will be harsher consequences than a simple punishment. Understood ?”

“Yes. we understand. Thank you for your time, sir.” you said as you rose up from your chair. Spencer and you both exited the room finding your daughter in the waiting lounge looking guilty as ever. You saw Spencer’s face look puzzled and hostile. To torture your daughter with even more guilt you told her to ride back home with her dad which she did not love but couldn’t protest.

Spencer hardly spoke to Jane the entire drive. He was dry, so much it looked like he ignored her. Jane was desperate to get him to talk to her.

“Please, dad. Don’t be mad at me!” she exclaimed.

“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” those words he pronounced cut like a knife. You knew that by seeing her dad’s reaction she would become aware of the gravity of her actions. And he actually wasn’t mad, at least not until he saw her pouting face. He loved her too much to be angry.

“Okay but can you just talk to me!” she whined.

“Oh we will, back home with your mom.”

That car ride lasted longer for Jane than usual. No music, no anecdotes nor laughs, just plain silence and introspection while gazing at the landscape.

Your house was in the suburbs near a forest, Spencer had all sorts of scientific arguments as to why living near nature was beneficial but you just loved the paysage before your eyes when taking your morning coffee. The location was perfect; in nature which means less pollution, noise and lower criminal rates yet a short car ride from the city which was full of cultural spots and with high quality education.

Jane tried to run up the stairs in hope to avoid her parents’ correction but was interrupted by your strict toned voice; “Not so fast, young lady.”

She shut her eyes stopping dead in her tracks, she lifted her stuffed animal and said to it “It was nice knowing you, fluffy.” She then turned around and sat on the couch.

Spencer was pacing around, “Why did you do it ?” He asked his daughter his voice slightly higher than before. She started melting in tears which truly pained him. You walked up to her, as you were sat on the couch next to her you started stroking her arm and drying her tears.

“It’s okay. We’re just trying to understand why you did that. There’s no way you would’ve done it without a reason.” you told her.

“Jeremy kept making fun of me…” she struggled to get out whimpering.

“How long has he been making fun of you ?” Spencer asked.

“Since Valentine’s day when everyone was exchanging cards but my box was empty.” You glanced at Spencer in shock of how long you hadn’t known your daughter was getting bullied, silently suffering.

“Honey, I’m so sorry you had to go through this.” you reassured her kissing her cheek and running your hands through her hair. “But what happened exactly that made you punch him ?”

“He made fun of dad, he wouldn’t believe he was in the FBI.” She answered tilting her head up. “I asked him to stop but he wouldn’t so I defended myself.” she affirmed seeming not so guilty anymore. You unwrapped your arms from her giving her a frown.

“That’s not how you deal with problems.” Spencer said sitting on the low table across the couch.

“Yeah, you could’ve talked to us first but you didn’t even try. You know you can tell us everything ?” You backed him up.

“I know but I thought I could deal with this problem on my own. You guys always seem so good at it. And I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

You glanced at Spencer both slightly smiling at each other.

“If there’s one thing I learned from my job at the FBI is that violence is never the answer. It’s only justifiable if it’s legitimate defence; when you life is in danger.”

“Dad, do you still love me ?” she asked watching her feet swinging on the edge of the couch.

“Of course, I love you. I always will, no matter what.” he responded taking hold of her hand. “Okay?” She nodded. She didn’t seem to understand that punching someone is wrong. You needed to have a talk with Spencer;

“Now go to your room and do your homework, we’ll talk punishment tomorrow morning.” You said.

“But-“ she protested.

“No buts, go to your room.” You ordered.

You joined Spencer on the couch, he looked completely defeated. “Hey, are you alright ?” You asked him while taking a seat next to him. “Yes.” He answered a bit too quickly. “I mean…No…Not really.” You knew exactly why he was feeling like this. “It’s not your fault, Spence.” you reassured him playing with his hair.

“This whole time…And I didn’t know she was struggling. What kind of father am I ?”

“I come home every night and I didn’t know about this. It’s not because of your job, it’s not because of us. I’m blaming the school, here. They’re the ones who are supposed to prevent bullying from happening.”

He rummaged his hair with his hands whilst his elbows rested on his knees.

“Plus it’s a good sign, she doesn’t get along with kids her age…” you said slightly smirking.

“How?!” Spencer asks slightly irritated due to his public middle school flashbacks.

“It’s a sign of high intellectual potential. Her emotional age is too advanced for kids her age to understand, they tend to be too insensitive for her. She believes animals and inanimate objects have emotions and that they are intelligent. She talks to her stuffed animal like it’s a pet. She took the pepperonis out of her pizza! Also she has an enormous amount of creativity and she’s highly sensitive to her surroundings. Have you seen how she profiled your every move and suddenly her emotions followed ? Just like you she’s protective of the ones she loves. She only punched that kid because he wasn’t exactly talking highly of you…”

“So you’re saying…”

“Our daughter could be a genius.”

“As mother as daughter.” he complimented with a smirk.

“Oh come on we know who’s the genius here!” you said slapping his shoulder playfully.

You both chuckled. You kept talking for at least half an hour to come up with a plan you both agreed to. It’s not good for a child to watch their parents disagree.

~slight time lapse~

An hour after dinner, you went up to your daughter’s bedroom as it was her bedtime. You leaned on the door frame admiring Spencer, sat next to Jane on her bed, reading a story to her about conflict to teach her what to do in the type of situations she got in. He learned that from you since you were a psychologist. He admired how resourceful and clever you were. He couldn’t be more proud to have you as his significant other and the mother of his child. Your foot made a cracking noise on the hard wood floor which caught Jane attention.

“Mommy! Come!” she exclaimed shaking her little hands.

“What’s up?” you ask sitting next to the bed.

“Me and dad were reading this book you got me and now i understand. I’m sorry for not coming to you first. I just didn’t like what they said about dad.”

“Honey, it doesn’t matter what people think of you. Seeking validation from people can be so unhealthy. If you keep bottling up your emotions you’re going to explode like a bomb and that’s no good.”

“Can you forgive me, mommy ?”

“Of course. You’re still growing, as long as you learn from your mistakes I’m confident you’re going to be alright.” You answered squeezing her hand. Spencer watched in awe, it reminded him how in love with you he is.

“Yes, please don’t ever do that again!” he said a bit too quickly with a high pitched voice that made you all burst in laughter.

“Alright, you should get some sleep.” you told her giving her a kiss on the cheek and tucking her in; “Good night, my love.”

Spencer kissed her temple and set aside the little book he was reading to her wishing her good night as well. You walked out switching the lights off. As you walked down the stairs you asked Spencer to stop in his tracks pointing your finger up; Jane was talking to her stuffed animal. You both had to muffle your laughs. The future looked bright.

[ectonurites]

So, it does make you angry that most of the staff on the Gotham-centered books privately joke about batcest?

i tweeted this before passing out and then woke up to this in my inbox here so i guess i asked for it, huh?

I mean something like that obviously wouldn’t make me happy? joking about incest is not... something that should make anyone happy lmao, if it does make you happy uh. you should talk to someone about that

i guess if its something they do privately that doesn’t effect the work itself it’s better than the alternative at least, like i still don’t like it but it could be worse. 

I do also think there’s a difference between someone joking about batcest (which like don’t get me wrong I still think is Not Good) vs them genuinely shipping/creating serious content for it. One is a lot worse than the other and makes me a lot more uncomfortable. 

Now personally, I have not seen the current writers/artists for Infinite Frontier (since that is the future of all the gotham books right now) participate in any of that. I know you said privately, but still, the fact that if any of them have they’ve kept it so private that a random anon on tumblr is the first i’m hearing about it, that makes me a little skeptical, ya feel?

(sidenote - the thing I had said in my post the other day about the person who designed the current red hood costume and posted a jayd*ck art joke, he actually apologized for it on twitter about how insensitive it can be to survivors of incest and sexual abuse) - almost like people can recognize it’s a problem, apologize for it and learn from their mistakes, wow haha imagine that, a professional acting professional, and he’s also not currently on a batbook anyways, he just designed the current red hood costume a few years back) 

If they have, like, obviously that’d be disappointing/upsetting but... people spreading rumors about it without anything to back it up I only have so much faith in, people uh... Lie On The Internet a whole lot or take things wildly out of context/misunderstand things. An anon in my inbox on tumblr really doesn’t mean much to me unless they have something to back up what they’re saying, you know? (also just gonna say it, a creative working for DC happening to follow someone who has posted batcest on twitter doesn’t necessarily mean they ship it, it could be a coworker they feel obligated to follow because there ARE absolutely artists/writers there who ship it, they could easily not know if they follow a ton of people, they could be more neutral on the issue and just not really care thus follow for other things they post while ignoring the stuff that doesn’t interest them, or they could have not been into it/posting it when they first followed them, like. When I’ve seen people try to use that as solid damning evidence I just... you’re grasping at straws there man.)

But like at current i’m not ‘angry’ because I have seen no proof that the current writers/artists for the batfam/gotham starting in Infinite Frontier have done any of that. (i do know about nicola scott who’s been doing future state nightwing’s art though, and like that does make me mad I guess but its kinda old news like We Been Knew with her. It’s not a new shocking thing to upset me, literally since I joined the batfam fandom her name has been associated with batcest to me. I haven’t bought the book so i’m not supporting it which is the main thing I can really do about it, and she’s not on nightwing after the event anyways) 

If you have information besides ‘oh i heard-‘ like i mean an actual source, links, images, audio, articles, etc that proves they do this I’d want to see that because I like being informed even if its upsetting information. 

But tldr: no, I don’t really get angry over rumors about what creatives do in private.

also stop trying to bait me into a fight like, ‘so it does’ calm down man you’re the one going on anon to defend the incest problem in a major industry to me, you have no right to be on a high horse about it LMAO. if you want to have an actual discussion about this stuff then sure, whatever, but like you’re not gonna... get me that angry. i said this in a gc about a completely different topic yesterday but its relevant

[yutaka-seto]

Took that personality test @class-representative-utsumi​ posted. Am I really this needy??

Primary Type Wiring

2

Starring Roles

Helper, Giver, Caretaker Nurturer, Advisor, Altruist, Good Samaratian

TrueType Wiring

2-6-9

Instinctual Wiring

Intimate

Instinctual Stack

Intimate, Social, Self-Preserving

Worldview of Type 2

Overview

You are a thoughtful, generous, warm-hearted person that strives for connection and being a helpful and person. You love to anticipate, read and respond to the needs and concerns of others, often being of great service.

On occasion, when your own needs go unmet, you can feel unappreciated and become exhausted, depleted and resentful. Your keys to growth include recognizing and balancing your own needs with those of others, and seeing what is truly “needed” in the present moment.

What You are Great At

Making people feel included in a cohesive, supportive group or team.

Willingness to go beyond mere empathy and actively assist those in need.

Cheerleaders and appreciators of people.

Being sympathetic and conveying genuine and selfless care.

Anticipating others’ needs – sometimes even before they do!

Generously giving to others and serving them in times of need.

Putting your own needs to the side for the greater good.

Comforting others and staying positive when others feel down.

Flattering others and winning them over.

Helping people feel at ease due to your charming, friendly nature.

Working hard for the team (sometimes at great sacrifice to yourself).

Engaging others in worthy causes or projects with your enthusiasm.

Core Wiring

You want to be appealing, giving, caring, and heartfelt; but most importantly, you want to feel needed. You want people to consider you important and appreciate your efforts.

You naturally pay attention to the needs and concerns of others and are ready to lend a helping hand. Under stress, you may have problems with pride, find it difficult to ask for help, and become manipulative to get attention or have your needs met. At your best, you are an empathetic, altruistic people-person that sees, intuits, and tends to others' needs.

What Drives You

You are driven to create interpersonal relationships and are motivated by a desire to be needed. By meeting others’ needs, you may secretly hope that your own needs will be met.

By taking care of others, you may desire at some level to be taken care of. You long to be loved and appreciated for who you are, to be wanted by others, and to express yourself in relationships.

Inner World of Type 2

Core Fears

Your core fears are of being inherently worthless, inconsequential, irrelevant, or unwanted by others. You may also fear being rejected, not being needed, not having a role with others, being ignored, useless, or left out. Stemming from these core fears, you may fear that actually having any needs of your own may cause people to leave.

Core Desires

To be needed, wanted, connected, appreciated, and worthy of attention.

Core Needs

You need approval, recognition, and admiration. Most importantly, you want to be seen as a 'special' friend.

You go out of your way to notice what others need, and others' expressions of appreciation are your greatest motivators. Sometimes, you are so focused on others that you don't pay attention to your own unmet needs and feelings. You may feel that to have your needs met, you must first meet other's needs.

Core Beliefs

People depend on my help. It's better to give than to receive. My own needs are not as important. If I take care of you, you will take care of me.

Likes

Being the “wind beneath others’ wings”.

Relationships, closeness, and romance.

Being needed.

Being a supportive friend and coworker.

Making others feel good about themselves.

Being on a cohesive team.

Love, connection and harmony with others.

To be seen as enthusiastic, vivacious and cheerful.

Being seen as friendly, caring and personable.

Being seen as thoughtful and considerate.

Giving others thoughtful gifts.

Being the special one.

Dislikes

Solitude and impersonal dealings.

Cold, insensitive people.

Disconnection or separation from others.

Feeling disapproved of, rejected, or unappreciated.

Feeling needy.

Feeling overwhelmed, over-taxed.

Feeling obsolete or not needed.

Not feeling welcomed.

Feeling shut out when another person is suffering.

Not having a special role.

Not feeling “tuned in” to others.

Having others suddenly turn away, go cold, or stop communicating.

Outer World of Type 2

Strategies

You attend to and please others so they will appreciate and care for you. You often give even when you're empty or suffering. You repress you own needs to serve others.

Impact of Strategies

People who are important to you pay attention to you and appreciate how valuable and helpful you are.

What's Great About You

You are warm, welcoming, and establish rapport easily with others. You are emotionally demonstrative, attuned to the needs of others, and happy to be of service.

Attention goes to...

Your attention goes outward toward being helpful, flattering others, meeting people’s needs and finding someone who can meet your needs. You may be unaware of how much time and energy you spend giving until you feel sad that others are not able to do the same for you.

Operating System of Type 2

At Your Best

You are cheerful, outgoing, vivacious, and sympathetic person who focuses on the concerns of others and what is needed in any given situation. You have an innate gift of listening and making people feel heard and understood. Your ability to tune in to others and sense their needs puts people at ease.

Generous in expressions of warmth, you have a way of making people feel special and important. You want to be of service and often reach out to help others.

At work, you are very welcoming and can put your own needs to the side and offer tireless support for the good of the organization or project. Your people skills and sensitivity to the needs of others make you a valuable asset to your team in the areas of trust, collaboration and support.

Under Stress

When your fears of being unappreciated and unwanted have taken the reins, which can happen under stress and in any situation that triggers feelings of being rejected, your safety and control strategies are likely to take over unwittingly. You may move to make yourself indispensable to others in order to avoid abandonment, perhaps overrating your efforts and feeling an inflated sense of self-importance.

When you need to be needed, you can deny your own needs, and try to please others, you may also overstep your boundaries and resort to meddling and belittling those closest to you. Others may be confused or upset by mixed messages; you give but expect something in return. You exhaust yourself trying to be everything to everyone and can resent those that do not show appreciation for your efforts.

What Holds You Back

Operating from “false abundance” in your ability to meet the needs of others. “Needing to be needed” in order to feel valuable and lovable. Exhausting yourself trying to meet the needs of others.

Becoming resentful when others don’t give as much as you do. Not being authentic and losing yourself in becoming what others want you to be. Becoming entangled with others who don’t take care of themselves.

Meddling and giving advice or assistance that wasn’t requested. Feeling hurt when others aren’t there for you in times of need. Denying your own needs and feelings of grief, loss and sadness.

Feeling unworthy and unappreciated when the attention goes elsewhere. Using manipulation to indirectly have your needs met in relationships. Promising more than you deliver and delivering more than you promise.

Coping Strategy

To cope with fears of being unwanted and unworthy, you may seek to be irresistibly pleasing, loving, charming, and helpful to others. Using your natural gifts of tuning into people, you may find yourself flattering others in just the ways that will win them over. You may become hyper-attentive to others’ desires and wants and seek to fulfill them - often even before they realize it themselves.

For example, you might bring a glass of water before someone is aware of being thirsty. Rather than face the possibility of your own needs being ignored, it may feel safer to just deny that you have them and intensely focus on meeting the needs of others. This sets up an unconscious desire for your own needs to be met in return, and for you to receive the attention you secretly crave.

Defense Strategy

Repressing your own needs can be a way you defend yourself from negative emotions. Not only does denying your own needs feel like a protection from not feeling cared for by others, it also gives a false sense of not having needs to begin with.

In a similar way, denying aspects of yourself that may not be pleasing, attractive, or appealing to others can be a strategy you use to defend against potential rejection, abandonment, and feeling unloved and unwanted.

Hot Buttons & Triggers

Others not appreciating or recognizing your help and support.

Feeling unwanted or unneeded.

Experiencing any need, which equates with potential rejection.

Being perceived as selfish, insincere or disingenuous.

Feeling isolated, disconnected.

Being exhausted and overextended trying to “do it all”.

Others becoming withdrawn, cold, or uncommunicative.

Feeling threatened by another who seems to be special.

Not being taken care of by others in times of need.

Having attempts to help others be thwarted or unaccepted.

Perceived loss of connection or influence in an important relationship.

Any threat to your special position next to the one in authority.

Blind Spots

Repressing undesired parts of yourself and focusing intently on others may lead to blind spots like not seeing your own unmet needs. In the unrelenting pursuit of supporting others, you may not recognize your own potential, and essential contribution.

Given the fact that having a generous nature is such an admirable quality, it may keep you from recognizing the ways that you may be self-centered, needy, manipulating, or “giving to get”. Your pride in thinking that you know what others need and want may prevent you from seeing when it becomes invasive or is off-putting to others.

Mistaken Beliefs / Trap

It is a cognitive mistake to believe that by meeting the needs of others, one’s own needs will automatically be met in return. Similarly, there can be a distorted belief that “I will only be taken care of by others if I take care of them first”. One may be unconsciously “giving to get,” and not realize it isn’t actually selfless giving.

One can only truly meet one’s own needs directly. Most important, the belief that “others love me for being what they want me to be” is a trap that actually brings less love and acceptance and a greater loss of one’s true sense of self. Pleasing others to get love only creates a deeper sense of unworthiness.

Growth Journey of Type 2

Transformation Journey

Your transformation journey involves: 1. Turning your natural gift for nurturing others towards yourself and realizing that you are worthy and lovable just as you are. 2. Relaxing and enjoying life and relationships without feeling the need to jump in, help, or rescue. 3. Being self-loving and self-aware enough to give freely from true abundance with no expectations.

Under Stress

When your fears of being unappreciated and unwanted have taken the reins, which can happen under stress and in any situation that triggers feelings of being rejected, your safety and control strategies are likely to take over unwittingly. You may move to make yourself indispensable to others in order to avoid abandonment, perhaps overrating your efforts and feeling an inflated sense of self-importance.

When you need to be needed, you can deny your own needs, and try to please others, you may also overstep your boundaries and resort to meddling and belittling those closest to you. Others may be confused or upset by mixed messages; you give but expect something in return. You exhaust yourself trying to be everything to everyone and can resent those that do not show appreciation for your efforts.

An Average Day

As you begin to see the self-serving aspects of “giving to get” and realize that pleasing can be inherently manipulative and controlling, you will become more focused on yourself, acknowledge your own needs and recognize your intentions. Becoming more aware and internally focused, “people pleasing” can drop away and you will become more sincere and genuinely attentive to others.

Your primary focus is self-responsibility and taking care of your own needs directly. You become adept at setting healthy boundaries, saying “no” with love, embracing and expressing your needs, and allowing others to be in integrity and self-accountable.

Love is truly your primary purpose now, both love of self and other. You are positive, appreciative, supportive, compassionate, and truly of service to others. Your natural affinity for nurturing and giving flows sweetly and easily.

In The Zone

When the full realization of self-love and self-acceptance dawns, one’s preoccupation with getting love and approval from others can drop away. It becomes clear that all needs are met spontaneously and naturally by aligning with unconditional love. Truly empathic, deeply compassionate, and generous with all, a wellspring of love and care seems to flow from you without the need for receiving anything in return.

You delight in being an inexhaustible instrument of this love and care for others in a truly selfless way that does not identify at all as the source of help. Your innate gifts of generosity, open-heartedness, softness, understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness issue forth with no obstruction or limit. You are a genuinely kind, humble, and powerful refuge for others in the storm of life, for which you feel only gratitude.

Keys to Growth

Discover what YOU want in your heart of hearts (“What are my actual likes and dislikes?” “How do I actually feel?”).

Practice asking for what you need very directly and politely from others.

Spend time alone and develop a relationship with yourself; do the affectionate, loving things you’d do for another for YOU.

Observe yourself in action and become more aware of the automatic tendencies to morph yourself and please to fit in; recognize where “pleasing” is actually manipulation.

Respond to others’ requests by saying “maybe” and take time to consider commitments before overextending yourself.

Stand back from relationships to observe any dependent dynamics; watch where you take responsibility for others.

Notice the strong pull to be indispensable, wanted, and needed, see the inherent false pride in “needing to be needed”.

Become aware of fears of abandonment and rejection; when they arise, see it as energy passing through if you allow it.

Enthusiastically embrace and nurture your OWN potential.

Become more grounded in the physical body to reduce the intensity of emotional energy; breathe and focus when upset.

Keep the focus on yourself when tempted to be in another’s business; ask yourself, “Whose business is this really?”, “Am I giving to get?”

Become as tuned in to yourself as you are to others, particularly becoming acutely aware of your moment-to-moment motivations and intentions to engage, speak and act.

Type 2 In the Workplace

Working with Others

In a supportive work environment, you take great pleasure in establishing collaborative relationships, working closely with others toward a goal, and making sure everyone is happy. It genuinely satisfies you to feel like a vital, fully contributing and supportive member of a cohesive group.

You manage others by enthusiastic encouragement and enjoy reflective glory. You have the ability to supervise others in many different roles to meet the needs of any given moment. You also work extremely well as the right hand of the one in power or authority, taking pride in being “the one” who can anticipate his/her needs and always meet them.

Ideal Environment

You work best when you have a strong team you can support and feel supported by. You will go the “extra mile” for any team effort, working tirelessly and without need for your own reward when you are inspired by the group’s collective energy.

In your ideal work environment, your efforts, sacrifices, and help are appreciated and acknowledged. You really like being the problem solver, helper, and the “indispensable one” that people depend on and turn to. You love it when others seek you out as “the one who understands,” “gets it” or has a sympathetic shoulder or listening ear.

Typical Challenges

You work less effectively in a work environment that doesn’t recognize your efforts and contribution to the cohesiveness of the team. Because you are always willing to sacrifice, back others up and be there for those in need, you may become resentful when others don’t do the same.

You can become conflicted and tense if your team is divided and you want to please both sides to stay in good favor. Secretly wanting to be recognized and have a special position, you might resent always playing “second fiddle,” or being stuck in a supporting role, not being promoted and not getting rewards, praise, and opportunities for advancement.

Taking Guidance

You work well with a supportive mentor and happily take direction from an authority you respect and you feel understands your ability to see what is needed. In fact, you thrive at the right hand of an able and charismatic person in power (or “on their way up”) because you like feeling special to the one in charge and that others admire.

You also enjoy the sense of connection the comes from being in the “inner circle.” It’s hard for you to respect a boss if he/she is not emotionally astute, doesn’t give his/her fullest to the team, isn’t respected and admired by others, or doesn’t stand up for you during times of stress.

Leadership Style

You can be a thoughtful, considerate, and charming leader who enjoys supporting others and helping them to achieve their full potential. You are a cheerleader of people and take great pride in seeing those you've mentored succeed. You are devoted to those under your wing and are willing to stand behind them and encourage them along the way.

Your primary focus is on the success of the team as a whole even if it means putting your own needs on hold. You manage details well and can be very skilled at guiding team members in many different roles and in interpersonal relationships. You might have to be reminded to focus on business structures and strategy, and to not over-help to the point that it creates dependency or is perceived as meddling.

Famous 2s

Famous People with Your Type

Paula Abdul, Alan Alda, Harry Belafonte, Barbara Bush, Jimmy Carter, Casanova, Glenn Close, Bill Cosby, Barbara de Angelis, Princess Diana, Celine Dion, Fairy Godmother, Mia Farrow, Kathie Lee Gifford, Danny Glover, Melanie Griffith, Whitney Houston, Jesus Christ, Monica Lewinsky, Jerry Lewis, James Lipton, John Lithgow, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Florence Nightingale, Merlin Olsen, Yoko Ono, Suze Orman, Eva Peron, Priscilla Presley, Nancy Reagan, Della Reese, Lionel Ritchie, Mr. Rogers, Richard Simmons, Danielle Steel, Sally Struthers, Mother Teresa, Jennifer Tilly, Tiny Tim, John Travolta, Ivana Trump, Desmond Tutu, Barbara Walters.

[wickedsrest-rp-archive]

Mimes Mimes Mimes || Group Chatzy

Kaden really didn't want to be here right now. Birthdays had never been a big celebration for him and he was honestly fine with it. A beer on the house, maybe a free coffee, that's all he wanted. This year was so strange, he had people. Who cared. Still not sure why. Of course, one of them wasn't going to be there but he tried to push that aside. When he showed up to the Strip(e) club, he wanted nothing more than to turn and walk away, go home. Instead, he felt a pull, a strange need to stay and have fun. Well, try to at least. He didn't know why, maybe it was just that whole conscience thing or something from telling Regan he'd still go. Either way, he was not prepared for anything he saw inside. He stood still in abject horror at the... everything happening. There was only one solution to his. He b-lined it to the alcohol. "Bourbon on the rocks," he looked around briefly at the glitter and the mimes and the fucking werewolves. "Make it double."

Nora Pine, a fan of the Mime, had no clue that she'd stumbled into someone's birthday party. Today she was here for her own personal mission. To see a Mime strip. Why did she want to see a mime strip? Why not! People needed life goals and Nora thought this one was admirable to say the least. Plus she'd recently become very passionate about defending them as lovers on the internet. She figured it was time she actually saw what action they could bring to the table. When Kaden entered the club, Nora saw him instantly. Standing in a dark corner, she raised her glass of whiskey in a silent greeting to him.

Honestly, Winston was so far from sure why they had bothered to come. They didn't like mimes. The idea of strip clubs made them come out in hives because they were that uncomfortable and they already needed a drink. Heading past 'Tyler' they headed straight for the bar and smiled at the bar tender. "That sounds like a really good idea," Winston said even though they hated bourbon, "please can I have like the exact same." They weren't drinking this for the taste of it. "Happy birthday by the way," they said to Kaden as they stood next to them at the bar, "hope it's a ... good one." If Kaden had wanted a good birthday why would they have chosen to host it here?

What do you wear to a mime strip club? That certainly wasn't something Artie thought she'd be asking herself. Ever. In her whole life. But here she was. Dressed to impress Red's work colleague at a mime strip club. Grabbing the bag wrapped bottle of booze in one hand, and Red's arm in the other Artie wandered into the club. "Maybe there is something in the air here." Artie had been going on about this town's obsession with mimes their whole trip, "like in the pollen. Supernatural pollen that makes people obsessed with mimes... And mooses."

Luce had wandered into the Stripe Club, more out of boredom than anything and her expression of confusion morphed into one of horror. Not only was it a mime-filled horrorscape, there was the making of what looked like a cross between a five year old and a cheese loving furry's birthday party. Grimacing, she turned to leave, but found her way blocked by a burly looking mime who looked weirdly familiar. What the fuck? Grimacing, she walked over the the bar, sliding next to Winston and the other man. Catching the tail end of the conversation, she raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you're the Birthday Boy?" Pausing, she looked him over. He didn't look like a furry. Hm. Weird. "Neat." She said before gesturing to the bartender. "That's also how I'd like my whiskey, please."

Joanne wouldn't miss her Rat King's birthday for anything. Everyone at the station knew Kaden was into mimes, so she slid into a striped mime shirt, donned a beret, and stuck Kady and Cadin in her pockets, despite their chittering protests and adorable twitchy rat tails. What a party! This was perfect for her sewer lord. Not wanting to disrupt the quiet atmosphere, she silently prowled around, looking for Kaden.

Bea had been rather excited for Kaden's party until she saw where it was being held. She tried to give it the benefit of the doubt but having a party at a mime strip club for a guy who was just stabbed by a mime seemed a bit insensitive. She had walked in with Kaden, though she had lost him when he had basically run to the bar, she had been distracted by the mime strippers. Refinding him wasn't hard he had already had a few drinks with her earlier and the bar seemed like the obvious place to be in this situation. She came to stand next to Kaden again,"Are you okay being here after everything?" She asked quietly before turning to grin at Winston and Luce. "Winston and Luce, hi! I didn't know you knew Kaden, Luce?"

Ohhh boy, Simon probably made a mistake as he slid in through the door as inconspicuously as he could. He could add "mime strip club" to his list of things he wasn't expecting - he couldn't remember the last time he was in a bar in general and the mixture of different scents made him bring a hand to his nose. Okay, he was here to mingle, observe and maybe meet some townsfolk (he wasn't sure how popular Kaden was but he was willing to guess "pretty"), then jet. No booze, no... wolf-shaped cheese snacks? Well, those were pretty cute. Still though, he kept close to the outer perimeter, noticing only one person he had met before. He assumed Kaden was the one at the bar but... everyone else was a tossup.

Kaden gave a nod to his past hunting partner at the bar. A little worried that she seemed more interested in the mimes than anything else. Ew. "Thanks," Kaden told the guy next to him. Had he seen them at the station before? Maybe, who knew. That would require spending time there. And someone who looked pretty similar to Bea. Third sister maybe? "Yeah, that's me. This, uh, this wasn't my idea. By the way." He smiled at Bea when she came over and confirmed his theory. "Uh, I'm alright. Just going to need a lot of this," he said gesturing to the glass in hand.

Alain gave Evelyn a glance of concern mixed with panic. The last thing he expected for Kaden's birthday, was to end up in a place swarming with the most vile species that had ever existed in this town : mimes. Figuring that gifting the man a Breton shirt was bad enough, Alain had decided to wear one himself, but now knowing that they would be surrounded by striped demonic fuckers, he felt a urge to turn around and leave the place. He doubted that Evelyn would agree to that, since he had offered to pick her up and drive her there. "We can still turn around," he offered. Maybe she would not want to be there either, considering what had just happened at her bar...

Since coming to White Crest, Red's life had become even stranger. Which was saying something, considering they were married to a weremoose and hunted fairies for a living. "Whatever it is that makes people obsessed with mimes, I want it to stay far away from me," Red grumbled to their wife. "And away from Violet, I heard people saying they think they like them because the grew up with them." They scanned the room with a grimace on their face. "Why did I agree to come to this again?" They knew that it was a fellow hunter's birthday, but they didn't think whatever this was was worth being a good coworker. "We only have to stay for a little right?"

Luce's expression of mild amusement soured as she saw her sister walk up to the bar. Taking the drink that was slid her direction from the bartender, she tilted it in cheers towards the man next to Winston. "Happy birthday. Someone must either really love you or hate you to throw this kinda party." She said conversationally before staring at her sister. Her arms were still covered in small cactus spine-shaped pin pricks and her ego still slightly bruised. But... She was going to be calm. And chill. "And no, I don't. Just... right place, right time."

Felix was overjoyed. The place looked like a living nightmare. All glitter and stripes, plus glittered and striped strippers. He hated the mimes but it was worth it just to see the chaos in black and white. The fae wore his finest crimson suit, a cut of red in all the black and white, and watched as people started to file in. Thoroughly confused people at that. Perfect. After a small misunderstanding with the bartender, Felix took his martini glass in hand, found himself a dark corner, and waited for the man of the hour to show. When he did, the fae beamed and headed straight towards him. Raised his glass in a mild cheers. Disgruntled, disgusted, looked like he wanted to leave but couldn’t. Must be a Frenchman. “And a very happy birthday to you, sir! Enjoy your stay, huh?” More people came and they all seemed to coalesce around the bar. “If anyone needs anything, let me know, huh? Anything at all!” Louder than anything else in the relatively silent place, he turned and readied himself to mingle.

Evelyn made a face when she and Alain arrived at the - Stripe Club? No, no, absolutely not. Who had thought that this would be a good idea at all in the first place, and especially after everything that had just happened to him. Besides, her dress and heels did not suit this place. She rolled her eyes. "We can, but I think we should go and check in on Kaden, give him presents at least." This had to be one of the tackiest places in town - strip clubs were tacky enough by themselves, and with the addition of mimes? Absolutely awful. But this was for Kaden and so she'd suck it up and deal with it. "Let us go?"

Arthur really wasn't sure why he'd even been invited to a stranger's birthday party but Regan had sent him the invite and... well, he felt rude to decline even if the idea of spending a single second in mime hell sent a batch of heebie jeebies down his spine. But stepping in, he seriously began to reconsider every single decision leading up to this point. He'd seen a lot in his lifetimes and this was... probably the single most traumatising place he'd ever stepped foot in. He'd need a lot of help to handle this particular experience and sought out the nearest drink he could find scanning the crowd for any kind of familiar face. He didn't even know who Kaden was...

Artie nodded adamantly. "Right. In and out. We wait for a lul in his conversations, go in wish him a happy birthday. Get one photo of us doing something interesting and leave. Then when people say "Oh I don't remember seeing you there." We have photo proof, and we gave a gift. Birthday boy remembers and we're free of these..." Artie lowered her voice to hiss out the words, sure that the silent monstrosities were staring at her and Red, absorbing every word heard around them to offer to whatever demonic creature mimes worshiped. "Vile zebra wanna-bes." She let out a sigh, allowing her voice to raise to a normal volume. "Why, in the name of all things green and full of chlorophyll, did you think we should come when you found out it was here? We could have said Vi was sick..."

It wasn't hard to notice her sister's expression when Bea joined them at the bar. She wasn't even sure what she had done now to piss off the middle sister, but she tried to ignore it. She had bigger issues to deal with and one of those was making sure the birthday boy himself didn't lose it at the chaos of this party. "Well, let me know if you need anything," She reminded Kaden, trying not to sound too much like a worrywart. (She was sure she failed). Then she heard a familiar voice and turned with a bright grin,"Felix! You're here! You set this party up?" She asked with an amused eyebrow raise

Simon had managed to find a table that wasn't completely decorated in... er, decorations and he sat down tentatively, pausing for a second before leaning back and pulling out a notebook. He noted the three empty chairs also around the table and decided to try to appear friendly so if people wanted to take them, they could... after all, they weren't HIS chairs. Time to take some notes on some of the individuals, and the room was filling up fast.

Marie-Jeanne tilted her head at the crowd. Fresh blood. She tapped the corner of her lips until they spread into a wide smile, and slowly shimmied her way through the crowd. Her clothing was minimal, made mainly of taped on black stripes, evenly spaced from neck to ankle. They smelled good, these newcomers, she thought as she wound her way through them, moving to a beat only she could hear. She tapped the occasional shoulder, giving them a wink and blowing a silent kiss before moving onto the next one. The winks were the only time she closed her eyes at all. Her make-up indistinguishable from her skin, as if it had always been there. Perhaps this was a celebration?

This was... absolute chaos. Glitter and stripes and music... GLORIOUS. Mercy could already feel the discord. She hadn't been invited exactly, but word traveled. And she couldn't pass this up. It had entirely too much potential. So she made her way through the crowd, trying to find someone she knew. Or someone she didn't. New friends were always a good time.

"You're a genius, that's a genius plan and that's exactly what we're going to do. Photo, conversation, and then we're out," Red went over enthusiastically. There was a lot going on here and it was pretty overwhelming to be in the middle of. Red didn't want to think about how Kaden felt about the whole thing. "Vi could get sick while we're here..." They said, before they tensed. Leaning to whisper in Artie's ear,"There's fae here." This wasn't a location to go hunting which made it an even more frustrating situation to be involved in. "Let's get your plan done quick."

Nora, who had been here since opening, was silently enamored with one particular mime. She'd first noticed this mime when she came up, tapped her shoulder and blew a kiss. Nora, literally just there to watch mimes, noticed that she did this thing where she didn't blink. Nora loved it. What a show. She wondered how she kept her eyes moist. Did she alternate the winks? Did she have fake make up eyes? Mimes were just the greatest. Nora leaned back in her corner, intent on enjoying the show despite the sudden uptick in people.

Alain grimaced. She was right. They could not leave Kaden alone in this place of terror, although his idea of getting the poor guy a breton shirt was starting to smell even more like a big turd than it already did. But, since he could not return the thing, it would have to do. "At least, you don't have to worry about being underdressed for the place..." He parked the car and raised his eyes up at the sky. "No amounts of drinking are going to make this acceptable." There was a pause. "Alright, let's go."

Blanche was certain that she had made something similar to a mistake. Whether it was joking with Felix about the Taylor (Tyler?) Lautner and the glitter thing or actually showing up to the birthday party at a mime-themed strip club, Blanche wasn't sure which. She was horribly amused and mortified all at once, as she went to grab a drink. She saw Felix floating around here somewhere, maybe she could beg him for something the to make her forget that she was here - and then she saw Alain and.... "Evelyn?" Blanche said, her voice too loud in the club. She scurried over. "Alain! Hey - uh, hi!"

Kaden wasn't sure which it was, love or hate that led to this monstrosity. He glanced at his phone a moment to send Regan an update and, uh, question how much of this was left up to her. Maybe see if she'd change her mind about showing up. He doubted it but he had to try. He could guilt her, right? One photo of this mess should send anyone into a guilt spiral for causing this nightmare, right? Shit, maybe that was too mean to do to her right now. His brow raised at Bea's reaction to the smarmy smooth talking guy in a suit. "Felix, huh? You two know each other? I guess I have you to thank for this.... Whatever this is. How'd you come up with this exactly?"

Luce raised an eyebrow at the man who'd just made a big showy gesture of "anything at all" and caught her sister say his name. Felix. Interesting. Red suit like that, he stood out well enough. As Bea turned to speak to him, Luce slipped away from the bar. There were other people here to mingle with and she didn't really feel much like trailing after her sister like some kind of puppy. "Happy Birthday. Enjoy unwrapping your gifts," She said with a glance over at one of the more attractive mimes-- if such a thing could be said. Patting the man, Kaden, on the shoulder, she walked away from the bar. As she made her way through the crowd, she spotted a person with a very intricate hand tattoo, standing next to a woman. "Nice tattoo. Where'd you get that done?" She asked the person, intrigued.

Cece was going to need a lot of drinks to get through this party. Who would have thought that there would actually be a bar that Cece couldn’t have fun in? Turns out, there really was a first time for everything. Regardless, if she was going to make it through this party, she was going to need some booze. “Please give me two of whatever your strongest shots are.” she sighed from a barstool. The bartender didn’t say anything. Oh fuck, of course he didn’t say anything. Because it was a fucking mime bar. Cece immediately downed both drinks and requested another one. She could totally have a fun time at this party. She just wasn’t sure how much booze it would take for that to happen. But here’s to starting off strong.

Winston was not sure what Bea and Luce were doing here, but at least there was someone to talk to that they didn’t work with. Maybe they could actually have a good time. Swallowing as much Bourbon as they could to try and get them sociable enough to not trip over their own proverbial feet, they spotted Blanche and grabbing one more drink they made their way over to her. “You here for Kaden too?” They asked curiously, spotting Alain. Was there anyone in this town that didn’t know Kaden? 

Evelyn gave Alain a quick shrug. "This is true, and I agree, I do not think much of any amount of drinking can make this worth it." As they entered in, someone came running over to them - "Blanche?" She asked, her lips curving up into a small smile. "Well, though I would have preferred we meet under just about any other circumstance, I am pleased to finally meet you in person." She pressed her hands against her dress, letting out a small sigh. "This is certainly one of the more eclectic parties I have been too, and let me tell you, some Dukes back home have some bizarre hobbies and habits.

Mercy had just ordered a large drink when someone grabbed her wrist. She spun around to see that it was Arthur, who she couldn't believe was actually here. In a bar. In a strip club. She coughed on her whiskey. "I was about to say... why wouldn't I enjoy this?? It's amazing." She took another drink. "I take it you're not having fun?"

Red glanced at the woman who just came up to them, surprised that anyone would want to actually have a conversation with a stranger at a party like this. They glanced at their hand before nodding at the woman with a little smirk. "Got this one done in Oregon. Haven't gotten any since I moved here though, you look like you'd have suggestions on where to go to get some quality work."

Artie tensed as soon as Red said the magic word. 'Fae.' "Babe, do you think... Do you think the fae are making the town be in love with mimes?" She was whispering into Red's ear, her eyes darting back in forth. Artie had gone through life with the intense pleasure of never having met a fae, and she wanted to keep it that way. "Classic life ruining shenanigans." Artie smiled widely and with the sincerity of a teenager agreeing to do the dishes as a mime walked past them. Artie gripped Red's arm even tighter. It was nice knowing they were there. They were a pillar of security in this unknown world. looking at the woman who joined them, Artie attempted another smile.

Miles had almost spat his coffee all over his desk when he'd received an email inviting him and the rest of the department to the party of one Kaden Langley. This guy worked in law enforcement? Figures. The field did tend to attract a lot of people who liked to throw their weight around. He walked in, cautiously looking around for anyone he might recognize.

Arthur blinked, mildly bewildered as he accidentally caught the eye of a blond mime tantalisingly?? lifting their striped shirts, he blinked again swallowing thickly and reaching for another drink. "What gave that away? Who in their right mind thought a... Actually no, don't answer that. Do you know Kaden?" he asked instead, taking a healthy swallow of his drink.

Felix smiled at Bea over the rim of his martini glass. “Bea! Oh, you better believe I did. I had some help. A certain Harlow character let me know about all the very interesting things the birthday fella likes, so...” He trailed to gesture at the everything around them. Tyler, the Taylor Lautner impersonator, seemed very popular with the mime strippers. When Kaden spoke, Felix turned his attention to him and nodded. “Yeah, we know each other! Bea’s a real good friend of mine,” he said with a comfortable smile. “I had plenty of creative suggestions, so I can’t take all the credit on this particular striped jigsaw puzzle! Sure is something, huh?” When a familiar blonde made her way to the bar, he called out. It was nice to see her not at a crime scene. “Hiya again, Cece! It’s an open bar so do with that what you will, huh?”

"I think all of us would have preferred to be literally anywhere else," Blanche said, honestly, glancing over at Winston as they showed up. "I .... think some of this might be my fault. Namely the glitter. And the... uh... That." Blanche pointed vaguely at Tyler Lautner, who was enjoying some cheese. She glanced at Winston as they came over, feeling better to see a friend. "Sure am. You, uh, work with him, right?"

"Gods, can't you feel it, 'Ren?" Mercy whispered aside as she watched the mime move by. "And we've chatted online... and I know what he does.... otherwise not much, no," Mercy said of knowing Kaden.

Luce nodded approvingly at the art. It took skill to do something like that. "Nice. Whoever did it had a good hand." Raising an eyebrow at the comment, Luce held out a tattooed hand of her own for the person to shake. "You're in luck. I'm Luce. I work at Ink Inc. Best tattoo place in Maine. I'd say White Crest, but we're the only one in town and that doesn't count." She said, extending the same hand to the woman at their side. "Luce. You guys know Kaden?"

Alain heard a familiar voice calling him and turned to look at her. "Blanche ! Well I'd hug you but your shoulder must still hurt," he patted her on the arm and smiled warmly. Winston making their way toward the little group, he smiled politely at them. "I am certainly not here for the mimes," he looked down at his striped shirt and shook his head. "This has to be the most awful place I ever had the misfortune of finding myself in. Whoever planned this will have to pay."

"Yeah, I came here because of the bar," Winston glanced at one of the mime strippers and immediately looked away. This was the worst. But at least they weren't on their own here. Either way. They needed more booze to get through this. Swallowing a mouthful of whiskey they almost spat it out at Alain's words. "You know, I think that you're right. This is the most detestable place that I've ever had the misfortune of finding myself in and now I have to agree that whoever planned this will pay," turning to Blanche they smirked slightly, "so you're saying you had a hand in this catastrophe?

Marie-Jeanne felt someone watching her. She glanced over her shoulder to the person with pale skin and black hair, smiled, and shook her derrière in her direction, and planned to return to her later. Her eyes were searching for the center of all this. The one who'd brought them all together. Picking up an invisible tray from the bar, she walked over to the one known as Kaden, running her striped fingers down his arm to catch his attention before carefully picking up an invisible glass of bourbon and holding it out to him, her hips swaying enticingly as she looked him over.

Miles barely had time to speak to anyone before he was flabbergasted by the sight of Mime strippers. "Oh... Oh no." Was this why he'd been stabbed? Mime fetishizing?

Simon wasn't actually feeling too bad about this, all the weird stripper-mimes notwithstanding though his gaze kept wandering over to Nora occasionally, finding himself curious on whether or not she was actually there for Kaden's party. He jotted something to himself in his book when a new yet very familiar scent drifted over to him. Without even really thinking about it, he stood up and starting looking around, wandering through the people and gently moving past bodies. Table? No. Cheese dogs? No. Mime stripper #4? Definitely not, deeefinitely not. He kept following the smell though - it was weird, it was... bad yet good. He didn't realise that he had circled around the bar before standing a little close to ???(Miles), furrowing his brow. Yep, it was this kid.

Mercy watched the mime with narrowed eyes, but found them more amusing than anything. This was... she couldn't but grin and wonder if her own brand of chaos was even needed.

"I wouldn't put it past them, they really are awful enough to come up with a plan like that," Red replied with a look of distaste plain on their face. Only fae would come up with something as terrible as this. No one else would make everyone suffer by falling in love with mimes. Red took Luce's hand, looking over the tattoo she had there as they did. "Hm, I'll keep that in mind. What's your usual style?" Maybe Luce would be able to give Red the Violet tattoo they wanted. "Yeah. Kaden's a coworker. Though, right now I wished I hadn't known animal control was part of the police department."

Nell remembered hearing Bea talking about Kaden's birthday today, and hadn't really been planning on attending. After all, she didn't think an attempted stabbing and some words exchanged online exactly warranted showing up to his birthday party. Though...she did loved birthday parties. Still, she'd been planning to sit it out until she looked up the address. Mimes. Who in their right mind would have their birthday at a mime strip club, of all the cursed places? Especially after being stabbed by one. There was, quite literally, no place she'd hate to be more, but she was also curious. Maybe she could scope out if any other mimes were 'cursed' here like Kaden had seemed to think his was. So here she was, feeling as if she's stepped into an actual, living nightmare. Glancing towards Blanche and Winston, she naturally gravitated towards the pair of them, joking in with Winston and his words. "Blanche, you helped? I can't believe you'd betray us like this? Of all the things. Mimes."

Making a small face as Blanche described what part she had played in this, Evelyn replied with, "well, is it a bit of a joke?" before she turned to the newcomer to their group. Someone she recognized, vaguely. "Winston?" Well, apparently everyone really did know everyone else in this town. "Well, it is a pleasure to see you again although most would have thought it would be under different circumstances than these. At least the company is nice." She glanced over to Alain briefly before looking back at the other two, and at the new figure who had joined them.

So she'd dumped him, but maybe it was a little in haste. After all, Lydia wanted to know just how Jeremiah the mime had taunted Kaden as he'd promised. What she hadn't expected, of all things, was to find people she knew in the Strip(e) club. Perhaps... perhaps she would find this Jeremiah later.

Arthur side eyed her for a moment, "what? Sick? Yeah." He frowned a little bit as he somehow found his current glass empty, putting this down he reached for Mercy's to quell his racing mind but his hand was intercepted by a white glove. The blond mime having very silently made their way over in an attempt to drag Arthur onto one of the stages and apparently join in their act. Oh no. Oh nope. Nope. No way. Mildly panicked he tried to pull back, but the mime was surprisingly strong and managed to tug him a step away. "Oh fuck, help, Mercy help."

Go to the co-workers birthday party, her brother had said. It'll be fun and you'll make new friends, he said. Jane was horrified. Wasn't this the guy that got stabbed by a mime? Wasn't she working that case with Stryder? Did she imagine that? Had Felix slipped her something? Jane stood in horror by the enterance, shaking a bit og glitter off her boot before hightailing it to the bar. She saw Cece doing shots. Perfect. Tunnel visioned to the alcohol, Jane said, "Give me two of those shots too - Oh. Felix." Jane stared at him a moment. She turned back to the bartender. "Four. Make that four shots."

"Felix is a great friend. We've been hanging around each other for the past three years?" Bea told Kaden warmly. Though she doubted he was going to take to Felix as warmly, since he was involved in whatever this was. "Harlow?" She asked before realizing that meant Blanche had been involved with this. That checked out she supposed. "I see Blanche continued her reign of terror on you, Kaden." She said with a little laugh.

"Artie." Artie said as introductions went around. Artie vaguly paid attention as they talked about tattoos. Artie loved Red's tattoos and thought they were beautiful, but tattoos had never been her thing. "Never met the man. Just here for support and to be the bearer of gifts." She laughed, holding up the present she still needed to give. She didn't see a present table set up, so she'd just have to hand it to him when they got their moment to talk to him. Right now a mime seemed very interested in talking to the man she could now identify as Kaden.

Miles couldn't help but wonder if he was supposed to bring a gift. He was morally opposed to bringing gifts to potential murderers, but figured a good middle ground was to bring him a bottle of whiskey or something. Something to endear Kaden to him and perhaps loosen his tongue a little. There were a few familiar faces in the room, so Miles slowly approached the bar area, ordering a beer.

Mercy saw a few other people she recognized. Felix - gods, what a suit... but it suited... hah - and Blanche. There was Evelyn too. She was about to say something when Arthur spoke instead. "Huh? Oh... woah there. Not. Yours." Mercy reached for the white-gloved hand (it had a helluva grip on Arthur) and removed it from his person. The mime merely looked at Mercy for a long moment, but she stared back, crossing her arms and making a pointed shooing motion with her fingers.

"The shoulder is still a little sore," Blanche admitted, grinning back at Alain, before scowling at Winston and then Nell. "Hey, don't look at me, I didn't say to set it up at a mime place! He just got, ya know, stabbed by one. I just suggested glitter and the Taylor - I mean Tyler - er, Taylor Lautner impersonator. Though I didn't know that was even a thing." Blanche looked around, grimacing. "I think this place is cursed."

Oh, he was moving. And so Simon did too. He did realise then how close he was standing and he took a couple steps back but he was still following. Hey, people followed people all the time, right? He pulled out his notebook with a sniff, writing down details about the boy with the familiar scent-- oh wait, they were at the bar. Might as well pencil in some gossip while he was at it.

Kaden nodded, thin smile pulled tight across his face as Felix yammered. "Harlow. Helped? Of course she did." He downed his drink and motioned for another. The one thing he had to say about the mimes was they caught on to the gesture no problem. "I'm going to get some of that cheese. Have fun. I'm sure I won't." He was about to leave when a fucking mime came over with, uh, nothing in her hands at all and stared... no. No. There was no way this was happening. "Uh, I don't-- Please don't." And yet he was frozen still in shock, unsure of what the fuck to even do about this. Other than down that second drink.

"Nice to meet you both." Luce said with a nod. As the the person asked about her style, she pushed up the sleeve of her jacket, showing them the geometric design that wrapped around her wrist and went up her arm. "My personal style is geometric, black work. But, I'm flexible. I'm pretty good with traditional and neo-traditional." She said with a shrug. When they mentioned that they were coworkers, Luce grinned. "White Crest does things different. And, good on you both for even coming by. I'm here because." Luce grimaced. "Bad luck, I guess."

Cece was what, five? Six drinks in by now? All while making pointless conversation with a speechless bartender. She spotted Miles coming up to the bar and flashed a friendly, if not way too drunken smile. “Oh hey, you showed up too? Sorry for your loss, dude.”

Winston nodded. "This place is definitely cursed, I can't believe that we actually came to a mime themed strip club." They weren't sure why Nell was here, but they didn't really care. It was nice that there were this many people that they knew. Otherwise it might've been weird or something. "How long do we reasonably have to stay here before we get another drink?" they were itching to head for the bar, hoping that if they drank enough then maybe this place would be palatable. "I wonder how much it cost to hire this place for an afternoon?"

Simon peeked out from behind Miles. "D-Dr. Bishop?" He asked, only just now recognising her face for some reason, and certainly never having seen her outside the morgue.

Wow, Kaden had a lot of friends... Joanne scoured around, pouting, as she realized it was going to be harder to pick out her Regal Rat from the crowd than she thought. She mimed a tear falling down her cheek, and practically walked into a woman who also seemed to be looking for someone. Kady chattered from inside her pocket, she calmed him with a hand. He'd be back in the sewers soon enough. "Have you seen Kaden?" she asked quietly, not wanting to completely break character. "I have something for him."

Arthur staggered as he almost lost his balance when the tight grip around his wrist suddenly released bumping into someone near the bar who a moment later he recognised as Miles "oh shit I'm sorry." The mime stared at Mercy, unblinking in its intensity before black-painted lips suddenly cracked into a toothy grin and the mime... mimed laughing. Silent as its body shook while it stood there a few feet away making no move to leave. Arthur could only stare in mild horror at the scene leaning in to whisper "what the actual fuck??"

Nell wasn't sure about being in such close proximity with Alain, but she figured she didn't have to talk to the man, right? Instead, she focused on Blanche and Winston, or rather- on anything but the mimes. "Is the Taylor Lautner impersonator because of why...I think he's here?" Nell asked with the beginnings of a grin, uncertain of how to phrase the question with present company. "Wait- do you know Kaden, Winston?" But at Winston's prompting she was ordering quite the strong drink from the bar before saying. "I'm already thinking of getting a second. But any amount to pay for this place is too much." 

Cece burst into laughter, “You’re sweet, but I’m no doctor dude. Just a toxicologist. Four years strictly for me.” She patted his shoulder, taking another long drink from her glass. “You started at the worst time, clearly. I have no idea how we ended up getting roped into coming to this place.”

Marie-Jeanne was used to the new ones being shy. They had no idea how easy it would be to lure them in over and over- oh. She turned her shoulder to press it coyly against her cheek, inviting him to play along. After a moment, she shrugged, returned the drink to her tray and set it aside. She stepped just a little closer, and took his hand in hers, nodding encouragingly. He'd enjoy this, she knew, as she lead his hand to her shoulder, and used it to began peeling away one of the black tapes that striped her body. As it peeled away tantalisingly, it revealed another black stripe on her skin underneath. She smiled down at him, unblinking.

Mercy didn't laugh... she merely mimed reaching into her pocket, being surprised, and then pulling her hand out with the middle finger raised.

Raising an eyebrow gently, Winston shrugged in Nell's direction. "Kaden is animal control, they work at the station, so I got an invite through that and it seemed like it was the place to be..." they trailed off and slugged back more of their drink, praying that if they drank more this place would be slightly less terrible, "How do you know Kaden? I know he and Blanche are friends, even though she's referred to him as a dick multiple times, did you just feel afraid of being left out?" If you couldn't tease your best friend then what could you do.

Red's hand moved now to cover the hand Artie had on their arm, their thumb brushing back and forth on her hand. "Looks like in a place like this, Kaden is gonna need as much support as he can get," They said looking around once again. They nodded again at Luce's tattoos, she did good work, but they were, personally, more interested in neo-traditional. "Well, maybe I'll come by the shop to see you there. I need a tattoo for my daughter anyway." Red had one for Artie already and had been waiting to get one for Violet. "You come to mime strip clubs often?

Wait a second, you are behind this?" Alain's eyes went from Blanche to Evelyn. Pinching at the bridge of his nose, he then looked around him, searching for Kaden. Maybe it would be nice to start looking for him. They could leave once he had his present, right? "How about we find the birthday boy, mmh ?"

"Jane! Always a pleasure. Have another one on me," Felix laughed. In most cases, people were getting some level of inebriated. This party wouldn't be any different. Looking at Kaden's clear discomfort at the mime brought a bright smile to his face and he slipped his glasses down long enough to wink. "I'll leave you two alone. Enjoy yourself, huh? Regan wants you to have a great time and you did promise to stay, after all!" A promise was a promise, after all. He grabbed another martini and stepped off to the side, immensely pleased.

Lydia turned as a mime approached her, her voice dropping low. Lydia's eyes widened. "Sorry, Kaden's here?" She repeated, before shaking her head in disbelief and looking around. This was beyond belief. "You have something for him? No, I haven't seen him, but I believe I could help you look, if you like?"

Miles was usually just fine with parties, but this entire situation was unsettling and uncomfortable. Mime themed strippers. Mime themed lapdances. Miles was all set to down his beer and bounce. "Hey, Winston..." He managed to find someone he actually knew. It was lucky nobody could see a guy blush in this kinda lighting. "You know this Kaden dude?"

"I agree." Evelyn replied, running a hand through her hair. "This is the only reason to bother staying, so we should at least attempt to find him." She spotted Arthur and Mercy as well - perhaps they would be nice to talk to, even if they appeared to currently be near a mime. "After this, I am truly and utterly done with mimes forever."

The longer Bea looked around to see what was happening the more confused she got. What the heck is that mime doing? Why does she have more black tape underneath the black tape? Who came up with a mime strip club? Why was the party here? She expected this from Felix, but not Blanche. Maybe she'd have to talk to Blanche about therapy. Waving down the bartender, she asked with a sigh,"Can I have a martini?"

Glancing up, Winston spotted Miles, who was a werewolf. That was something that they weren't sure that they had really processed yet, but you couldn't judge people you didn't know. Besides, most werewolves were cool right? They tried not to think about their big black wolf form. "Hey Miles, these are some of my friends by the way, I work with Miles too..." they shrugged gently and swallowed more whiskey, "Not very well, I got the invite because we work together I guess, we've talked a few times online but not really y'know."

"When in Rome..." Mercy said to Arthur as she and the mime proceeded to stare at one another.

Miles nodded, giving introductions to Winston's friends. "Hey, nice to meet y'all."

Simon noted Miles' departure - he must not've been comfortable in crowds-- or maybe just mime gang-hangouts. Gangouts. He winced ever-so-slightly at Cece when he turned back to regard her though... she already carried the sharpness of alcohol. "I just... came because I thought it'd be a good opportunity to watch," He replied, giving her a small smile. "You seem to be enjoying yourself, at any rate."

Marie-Jeanne briefly turned her head towards Felix and winked, miming a promise to see him later, before turning her attention back to Kaden, slowly sliding their hands to the next stripe.

Joanne's eyes widened. This woman didn't know about the grand event happening? "Don't you see?" She waved her gloved hands in an arc. "It's his birthday! He's really into mimes, you know." Joanne giggled, and Cadin started climbing up her sweater. The rat perched on her shoulder and starting biting her earlobe, but that was fine. "Please help me look, won't you? All of the right planets and stars are aligned tonight, the sacrifice has been made... it's important he receives his Sewer Crown."

"No!" Blanche said, quickly. "That would be Felix - I may just, uh, given him the glitter idea." Blanche rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. Her bad, really. Though this was a shit show and it was really sort of hilarious. "And yes, it is because of that." Blanche told Nell, snickering slightly, before glancing at Miles. Oh. Miles. She remembered Miles. From the Remmy situation. Aw hell. "Hey, man. Nice to, uh, see ... you."

Oh, right. Nell should have probably pieced that together, but honestly she'd forgotten that animal control would be roaming around the same station as Winston. "Tell me truthfully, now," she said to Winston. "How quickly did you run over here when you heard it'd be at a mime strip club? I didn't know you were into this. I guess old friends really can learn new things. And I...will tell you how I know Kaden...later." No doubt Winston would pick up on her telling tone that the meeting might have been supernaturally charged. "You know me, though. I'm like a little leech. Latching onto whatever I can get." Then she was leaning over to the newcomer to give him a small wave. "Hi, there."

Miles gave a small smile to Blanche. Maybe Kaden was the Hunter she'd had the problem with too. But then why would she be at his party? "I don't really know him either, just figured it's rude not to show up."

Late, as per usual, Marley dropped off her "gift" at the "gift" table and headed straight for the bar. If she was going to be here, she was going to be tipsy. Not only was this a mime bar, it was Langley's birthday. Just her luck, the newbie was there. "Hey Newbie," she said, ordering a drink, "same idea, I see."

The blond mime flicked his floppy hair out of the way, its cracked lips thinning into a pressed line as his head cocked to an exceptionally odd angle a white gloved hand raising to its chin as it mimed thinking before suddenly raising its index finger. It moved eerily gracefully, towards a nearby wilting flower pot and mimed picking a flower, smelling it and swooning. It returned dropping to one knee, hands clasped and proffered forth as though offering this imaginary bouquet batting its eyes in its silent attempt at cuteness that made it all the more distressing to watch. Arthur could only stare, utterly horrified.

Alain took a deep breath. This place was too crowded for his liking, and the fact that it was crowded with striped fuckers certainly did not help. At least he had someone he was familiar with to accompany him across this hell, right? "Weren't you already done with those things?" His eyebrows shot up. "Learning new things everyday."

Kaden didn't know how it was happening but somehow there was a mime stripping in front of him with stripes that... revealed more stripes? Were there too many people there to try and fight her? He was pretty fucking sure this was a monster. It had to be. His eyes went wide as Felix and Bea left him there "Hey, wait, I did nor promise to--" The mime put a fucking finger to his lips to silence him. Nightmare. This was an absolute nightmare.

Laughing at Nell, Winston found themselves grinning despite themself. A mime strip club really wasn't their thing and Nell definitely knew that. "Well, I am glad that you were able to latch onto this so we could enjoy my obvious ..." they paused to highlight their obvious disgust at the idea they would flippantly admit to in moments, "kink for this sort of thing." They swallowed the last of their whiskey and ordered another one, they definitely needed this.

Felix felt the sudden and immediate need to be incredibly less sober than he was the very moment Marie-Jeanne looked at him. He waved over to Bea with his not martini occupied hand and reached into his suit pocket to pull out a slim joint just slightly. "Think the cops are too occupied with other stuff to give a damn? Because I sure as heck do."

Luce noticed the stance, the hand on the woman. Mm. A couple. She probably shouldn't have barged into their conversation, but still. She couldn't resist good art, or the opportunity to network. She needed to drum up business in a small town like this. "Sounds like a plan, I look forward to seeing you in the shop then." She said with a confident smile. Though when they mentioned the mime situation, she made a face of distaste. "Not at all. I hate mimes. But, the weird buff one wouldn't let me leave so... Guess I'm here for the mean time." She said, pointing to the one who looked like disturbingly similar to Taylor Lautner.

“Well you certainly chose one hell of a spectacle.” Cece laughed, looking back at the horrors of the party. Someone had chosen this place on purpose for Kaden’s birthday. Either it was a cruel joke and Kaden should seek an immediate lawsuit for defamation of character and emotional burden, or Kaden was into some really weird shit. Which, no judgement but also… okay a little judgement. “You need a drink? I was just about to order another one. Or two.” She tipped her glass back and downed the rest of it for sure. “What do you want? The bartender isn’t much for conversation, but luckily I make great convo.”

Bea stared at the joint and then glanced at Kaden, she had promised to save him from whatever horrors this party brought, even though she hadn't expected them to include a mime stripper. Nodding to Kaden, she smiled at Felix apologetically,"Can I bring him? I think he needs to be saved from whatever that is."

Lydia looked around, at the large banner. "Oh, how wonderful. Do you know who planned this?" She'd have to tell Deirdre about this. Someone wanted him dead as much as they did. Her eyes widened at what Joanne said next. "Really? Well, come along, we will find him soon enough." Lydia began to wander through the crowds, poking her head around. "Oh, there he is. But he's being entertained." This was the first time she'd seen him in person, and under that mime's hands, he looked like he might have preferred Miccy's knife. "Let's give him this moment first, shant we? I'm sure that mime is terribly enjoyable, and we can't deprive him, can we?"

Jane was in the process of downing shots. "You," she had pointed at Felix, "We're talking later!" Though if she arrested Felix at the party, maybe they would both get to leave. Jane shook her head, before glancing at Stryder. "You can call me Jane, you know," She said, knocking back another. She leaned over, "Uh, is Langley trying to get stabbed again? Or is he just into some weird shit?"

Nell watched in abject horror from across the way as the mime seemed to latch onto the birthday boy. Someone should save him. Not her. God no. She wouldn't go near the mimes with a ten foot pool unless it was to start another mime fight. But... someone. Hopefully this one wouldn't stab him, at least. He amusement only grew as Winston went along with her joke, wishing she had a recorder stashed to catch this moment of their apparent newfound kink. "Oh, Winnie. i'm really just so proud of you for embracing this. Unfortunately, I think this is the end of the road for our friendship, though." Then she was taking a hearty draw of the drink the bartender had delivered. "What about you, Blanche? Is this your newfound fetish, too?"

"Already more than done with them." Evelyn sighed. In a brief moment, she hooked her arm with Alain's. "Well, now I am only all the more certain that I am done with them." She pouted for a moment. "And to think, I got a nice new outfit for this. Well, let us go find Kaden, or at least someone else who we know."

Simon gave a rather noncommittal shrug - drinking wasn't a hobby he'd ever participated in, but... he gave another sniff and nodded faintly. "Sure," He took her offer though his eyebrows arched as she downed the rest of her current drink. "Yeah, it's... I wasn't expecting this sort of turnout," He admitted, straightening up and glancing around at the forming sea of people. "Where... IS Kaden, anyway?" He asked quietly. From their chat, it sounded like the guy didn't really like mime so the aspect of making a mime-themed birthday party seemed... either ironic or cruel.

"You're right," Marley said, "I could. I won't, but I could." She shrugged, ordered herself some shots, glancing at whoever it was that Jane had shouted at. He looked a little more out of place than most of these people, but it didn't matter. This was a party! And they were all off duty. She glanced through the crowd again and spotted Cece somewhere far off. Red and Artie were off somewhere, but no sign of Regan. This was going to be a shit show, if it wasn't already. A familiar blonde caught her eye as well. Evelyn. She was with an older looking man, and Marley's eyes narrowed a little before she turned back to Jane. "Here's to an open bar!" she said, clinking their glasses together. "Eh, just ignore it. Who cares what Langley's up to. I just came for the drinks."

Blanche was in desperate need to get a drink, especially as Nell and Winston started joking about mime kinks. She shook her head, before looking over and seeing the worst possible thing she could imagine. Kaden getting a lap dance from a stripped mime. She stared loudly. Before she turned to Nell and Winston and Miles, and announced, "I need to consume copious amounts of alcohol immediately to forget what I just saw. I found the birthday boy and I wish I didn't."

Marie-Jeanne pressed her finger to his lips to let him just be quiet, and enjoy the music of silence and the sound of against his seat. He seemed to be enjoying this, she thought, and so she leant even closer, gyrating the air just above his hips as she placed her hands on his shoulders, and slowly, slowly dragged them down his chest. Right to where his heart was. She waved to Guillaume, inviting the mime over to join them both, and he immediately mimed removing his shirt for Kaden. Her hands still rested firmly on his chest. Soon his heart would beat for her and her friend.

Mercy watched the mime as it moved off and came back with an offering of a 'flower.' She glanced at Arthur, raised an eyebrow. The glanced back at the mime... suspiciously. Eventually she rolled her eyes, but gave the mime a curtsy - yes, a proper one... - and took the 'flower.' She mimed tucking it in her hair before miming something that Arthur couldn't see. The mime tilted it's head again, pretending to cry, sighed wistfully, and then with a rather... odd.... look, it did a handstand and crept away. On it's hands.

Winston definitely did not to need to see the birthday boy getting grinded on by a mime in a thong, and immediately followed Blanche to the bar after starring as equally loudly. "Like as many doubles as I'm allowed please, i need to try and drown that memory."

Red watched in horror as the lapdance got worse. "Felix I'm going to be right back." She basically power walked over to Kaden and put her hand on his shoulder, grinning at the mime. "I need the birthday boy now please. Get off him. Thanks."

Miles followed Winston's lead. "That's him??" He turned his head, desperate to un-see whatever in the ungodly hell he'd just seen involving Kaden Langley and an almost nude mime. "Whose idea was this venue?"

Bea watched in horror as the lapdance got worse. "Felix I'm going to be right back." She basically power walked over to Kaden and put her hand on his shoulder, grinning at the mime. "I need the birthday boy now please. Get off him. Thanks."

Felix looked over at Kaden, who was thoroughly suffering, and thought it over. "Is that a man who looks like he needs saving?" If he did, the fae wasn't about to do it. "Tell you what, doll. You take this," he said as he took her hand and slipped her the joint. "For the birthday boy. I'm gonna go check in with Tyler and I'll meet up with you later, huh?" He squeezed her shoulder lightly and made his way over to Tyler, who immediately grinned. "This is really dope, Mr. Doyle! It has been so hard to find work as a Taylor Lautner impersonator the last ten years so this was really rad of you." The fae smiled thinly. "Oh, I bet! But hey, looks like you're in demand again. Go get 'em, tiger!" Tyler laughed and started to howl. "I'm a wolf, bro!" Felix downed his martini. "Aren't you just!" He still had a few joints to last the evening.

As if she'd read Blanche's mind, Nell handed a drink over to Blanche that she'd ordered as soon as she'd seen her friend. She had a feeling they'd all need a lot of alcohol to cope with what was going to happen tonight. What was already happening. "Take it. Take it and run." Then she followed in suit with Winston's idea, simply saying to the bartender, "What they're having. I need two of everything... please. There went Bea to save the poor birthday boy, at least.

Cece grabbed the two drinks from the bartender and slid one over to Simon. “Who knows? Maybe he’s really into this whole mime thing?” This was a strip bar afterall.. Maybe Kaden had found some mime to uh… mime with him. No words needed. She was taking a drink when she spotted more familiar faces across the bar. Jane and Marley, thank god. “Ooh, more friends, come with!” Cece all but dragged Simon over to the rest of the crowd. Jane, Marley and… Felix? Interesting addition. “Guys thank god you’re here too. Please drink with me.” She raised her beer to the group and pointed at Simon, “Hey, here’s the new guy at the morgue if you haven’t met him yet. It’s Simon!”

Was it a tinge of jealousy Nora felt as not one but two mimes started to give Kaden his own public lap dance? A little. Mimes were.... How could she describe them in the perfect words? There were no words to describe just how powerful and majestic they were. The feelings they conveyed. It was art to its purest form. Even the idea of no sound crossing their lips. Honestly, it just made since for mimes. The emotions they were able to convey and convict is just too powerful for words to handle. An ancient godly language would have to be made up to contain it.

Marie-Jeanne smiled at Bea as if she didn't understand her. Did she also want a dance? Or maybe to peel off one of her many stripes?

Was Bea going to have to push a mime stripper today? She didn't want to push a mime stripper.

Alain glanced over at Evelyn's arm. It was actually comforting, in a time like this one. She probably must have noticed him tense, and he was thankful to be with someone who got him. His eyes eventually found Kaden, with a mime on his lap and Beatrice stepping in to rescue him from a certain death. "Jesus Christ," he exclaimed, approaching the pair and giving the mime stripper the most disdainous look he could afford to give. For an instant, he must have looked exactly like his father.

Luce caught sight of other people turning to look at one of the mimes and immediately wished she hadn't. Good luck, Birthday Boy. Tossing back the rest of her drink, she held up the empty drink to Artie and her spouse. "I need a lot more of this if I want to pretend I hadn't seen that. Nice talking to you." She said before making her way over to the bar. Settling next to her sister, she spoke up. "Two of whatever you've got that's strong and will make me forget that." She said before turning to watch the shitshow unfold. Aw. There went Bea. Good luck with all that. "Better her than me." She said to Nell.

With the mime gone, Mercy huffed and turned back to the bar. She ordered something large and strong - and one for Arthur too - before pulling her own pre-rolled 'cigarette' out of her pocket. Lighting it, not even bothering to wonder if it was alright or even safe, Mercy took a pull. "This is more fucked than that time in... what year was it? With the..." Mercy waved the 'cigarette.' "... the orgies and the naked grape-crushing?"

Jane snorted. "I mean, I guess we don't have to do anything unless someone actually gets stabbed," Jane agreed to the toast, laughing lowly. She grinned at Marley, happy to be in hell with someone she knew. And more people she knew. "Oh! Cece!" Jane said, happily. "And - oh, hi Simon! I'm Jane. You can call him Newbie, Stryder."

Artie smiled to herself at the light reassuring touch of Red's thumb on her hand. The woman, Luce, who had been talking tattoos with Red held up her drink and left. "She seemed nice. I bet that's going to be a great tattoo she gives." She cracked a smile. "But now my question is, how do we leave when we obviously can't be the one to interrupt the special boy's special lap dance."

Simon had just taken the drink from Cece when he heard someone start to howl and he had already started to lean his head back when he slammed a hand over his mouth, stopping just short of shoving his knuckles into his teeth to stave off the need as he was dragged compliantly by Cece over to people she presumably knew. He cleared his throat loudly and took an alarmingly large drink as she introduced him and he coughed his breath out from the sting of the alcohol combined with... everything else. Great first impression. "H-hi," He choked.

Evelyn was grateful that they finally found Kaden - and someone else, who she also did not recognize. "Kaden, what exactly is," she motioned vaguely, "this? Seems a little out of taste for you." She looked at the mime and narrowed her eyebrows.

Joanne frowned. She should have been the one to plan this, but someone stole it from right under her hands. "I don't know, but at least there are plenty of mimes. Not enough rats." Kady chattered his teeth in agreement. She followed the other woman, eyes peeled for the Rat King's magnificent mane. A mime had him. Joanne snarled and rolled up her striped sleeves. Kady and Cadin started running around on her shoulders in a frenzy. She was going to tear the stripes off that mime for stealing her Kaden away. And then, she had a king to crown.

"Let him be tortured for a little bit," Marley grinned. "It feels nice." There was certainly a lot of chaos here, and a tinge of horror. Not enough to enjoy or feed from, but it was still nice to enjoy. Marley raised her glass when Cece approached. "Cece! Join us! You, too, new guy! All are welcome in the all night drink fest, here--" she held out two shots to each of them. "Catch up." Grinning behind her sunglasses.

Bo had been staring decidedly at a wall, her back to the stage. The plate of cookies in her hands rattled. She saw nothing. She wanted to see nothing. She couldn't look at the strippers (stripe-ers?). All this time, her gaze lost to the shadows of the wall. Somehow, with great courage, she walked backwards towards the bar. "C-cookie?" She offered meekly to the people there. Her face had become permanently etched with redness. She could see nothing. Hear nothing. She placed the tray down sadly. "I would like some of alcohol please." She had never had a sip of the stuff before. But what better place to try than at this nightmare.

Arthur stared as the mime left on its hands, flipping gracefully down to then crab walk backwards through the crowds somehow avoiding bumping into other people as it vanished. "What... the actual fuck?" it seemed to be all he'd been reduced to saying. He blinked, staring at the spot it had vanished into before looking back to his friend with a shake of his head. "No that's totally not comparable... That was a rather enjoyable experience with a lot of wine at the end of it this... was definitely not... I feel like I need to meet this Kaden dude... If only to get an idea who the hell would want this for a birthday party?" He glanced around the crowd noticing Evelyn stood by someone he didn't recognise currently being... tended to by a scantily striped mime. "Think that might be the birthday boy?"

Blanche immediately downed the drink Nell had handed to her. "What would I do without you, Nellie." She said, sniffing slightly, before looking at Miles. "Freaking Felix's idea. Unless he got the idea when I said he, uh, got stabbed. Oh god, I hope not." Blanche blanched, before ordering another drink.

Kaden winced as the mime jammed her hands right on his wound, right at the stitches. Yup, this was hell. He'd found hell. Could she just stab him now and be done with it? He was relieved to see Bea. "Uh, I'm going to go now," he said as he pushed her away and climbed out of the chair, making sure no knives were about to make an appearance. "She, uh, really needs me." And Evelyn and Alain, too. "Hell. This is hell. Hi. Sorry you had to come," he said as he stood up and tried to practically hide behind his friends from the mime that was still staring, not blinking. Shit. "I might need something stronger than alcohol soon."

Spotting Bo, Winston smiled and waved for her to come over and join them. “If you want an alcohol Bo then you’ve definitely come to the right place,” they hadn’t been paying for drinks all night so they really hope it was open bar, “can we get four of whatever we just ordered please?”

Nell nodded along with her sisters words, wondering if this was how the Stripe Club stayed open. They just horrified their patrons into buying more alcohol. "Let's hope this one doesn't have a knife," she said about Bea having gone to help Kaden. "Otherwise, I can't guarantee there won't be more stabbing in this Chili's tonight if the striped bastard decides to be a dick."

"I think if we take a picture in front of Kaden getting a lapdance that will count as the photo of us being at the party," Red replied. They sighed as they watched Kaden get up from the lapdance. There goes the photo they were going to show at the Silver Bullet. "Want to just leave the gift on one of the cheese tables and get out now?"

Marie-Jeanne looked at the growing crowd, her shoulders sinking and a pout extending. She wiped an invisible tear from her eyes, bent over (salaciously) to pick up one of her stripes and tied it around Kaden's hand, finishing it with a bow. The perfect gift. He pushed her away and she pouted more, before blowing him one last kiss, perking up, and sauntering to find someone else to give presents to.

Later, he would find that bow hard to remove.

"Are you... having a stroke?" Mercy asked. "Here." She held out the 'cigarette' to him. "And there's a lot of wine here if you'd get to drinking like the rest of us." She looked around to where Arthur motioned. "It's a solid chance... come on..." Mercy snagged their drinks and gave Arthur a small push towards the man in question.

If nothing else, at least Cece had these people to drink these horrors away with. From the corner of her eye, she caught a mime pass by them and it only made the desire to drink even stronger. If Cece wasn’t black-out by the 5pm, then she was clearly doing something wrong. “There’s nothing I’d want more than to do shots with you guys. Holy hell I need this. I'm clearly not drunk enough yet. Let’s keep these shots rolling, she yelled over to the silent bartender, who she had decided that she hated. So strongly. God that bartender was the worst. “Here’s to hopefully forgetting this ever happened!” She said, downing the shot.”

Felix moved back over to the bar and forewent another martini, instead opting for a straight tumbler of Jameson. He had put this monochromatic nightmare together and he was going to see it through, like any responsible Fun Supplier. When he caught Marie-Jeanne's eye, he gave her a short thumbs up. His eyes slid down the long line of the bar and the people that had gathered there. "Enjoying yourselves one way or another?" He raised his brows before he gestured to the bartender. "Bartender, top us all off, will you? I think we might be in dire need of liquid courage!"

Not enough... rats? Lydia eyed Joanne for a moment, before realising that there were rats on her shoulder. Lydia couldn't help herself, she recoiled in horror. Fucking vermin. As bad as being surrounded by humans. "Good luck giving him his gift! I hope he enjoys it!" She said, before backing away. Swiftly. Oh, so, very swiftly.

"That was interesting," Bea said to Kaden. "Sorry I didn't grab you sooner." She smiled over at Alain and Evelyn,"Hi, Alain. I don't think we've met before," She said to the woman. "I'm Beatrice," She offered a hand to shake towards Evelyn. Glancing at Kaden,"Felix can set you up with whatever you need. If you wanted that." She could grab Felix and Kaden and smoke with them both outside...

Simon, meanwhile, took the shots the one called Marley offered him but hesitated on drinking it - he hadn't even finished the one he had yet and the different sounds and smells were already mixing up his system, not to mention he still felt the burn of the first swig. So now he was up to two and a half drinks, held in spidery fingers and he couldn't help but give Cece a look of mild concern. She was... really putting those away.

Arthur took the stick without a word and took a slow inhale, exhaling the smoke to once side slowly as he tried to steady his nerves. "Fuck, this is the worst place I've ever been to and that's saying something..." He took another drag before he offered it back to her. With the light shove he made his way over to Evelyn and the guy he assumed was Kaden? "Hey Evelyn..." he smiled warmly "you look lovely as always." Noticing Bea who he hadn't seen since the beach incident he gave a small nod of acknowledgement. Ah... so this was Kaden.

Alain glanced down at Kaden's hand and wrinkled his nose. "You better take that off before you end up turning into one of these things..." His expression softened as the mime stepped away, at last, and he patted the man on the shoulder. "I don't know whose idea this is, but they'll have to suffer for what they have done to us, good taste, and human dignity." His brow shot up and he shook his head : "You really want to be drunk and high in a place like this? I'd want to be alert, if I were you..." Then turning his attention toward Bea, he smiled back at her "How have you been?"

Bo held on to Winston like a life line. She hobbled over. Shocked, mostly. When had the shots come? Winston ordered four but Bo downed all four of them. Then ordered more. "Hi guys," she smiled at them. The alcohol had not done it's work yet, but it would. Then...they would see. "Winston, I love you. Marley, I love you. Jane, I love you. Kaden...he's okay." They would all see.

Winston didn’t take too long to find themselves back with a number of their colleagues. Somehow a shot got passed into their hand and they swallowed it alongside Jane and Marley. Blanche and Nell weren’t far away but this might be the first time . Somewhat tipsily they grinned at everyone. “I’m starting to think if we do enough of these it might not be that bad.” 

Artie frowned as Kaden got up from his dance also noting they were losing their picture opportunity. "You know what? Just stand in front of a mime, I'll snap a picture we can make it our Christmas greeting card and lets shove the gift at Kaden and blow this popsicle stand."

Artie frowned as Kaden got up from his dance also noting they were losing their picture opportunity. "You know what? Just stand in front of a mime, I'll snap a picture we can make it our Christmas greeting card and lets shove the gift at Kaden and blow this popsicle stand."

Mercy followed, grinning at the lunacy going on around them. "Please... you're being dramatic," she said to Arthur as they moved through the crowd. She waved a greeting to Evelyn as well, before taking a moment to look at the poor sap who's birthday it was.

Luce frowned. "Wait, Kaden got stabbed by a mime? That's why he was in the hospital?" The fact that he was having this party, here of all places? She doubled over laughing, shaking her head at the thought. "Well. If it comes to it, I'll be right next to you. I'm not about to stab anyone though." She said, before holding her fists up jokingly. "But, I'd love to see what happens if you punch a mime in the face." She said with a shrug. But, when the mime relented and left Kaden alone, Luce couldn't help but feel a bit dissapointed. She would have loved to have a bar brawl in the Stripe Club.

Nell didn't have the best track record with Bo, having been in the back of her cop car a couple of times, but she knew she meant well enough. So she was a bit surprised when Bo downed four shots all in quick succession as she leaned around Winston. "Bo- uh- I don't know if that's a good idea." Had she ever even seen Bo drunk, before? As for taking four shots herself...well that was a different story as she picked up another one from the bar and handed a shot to Winston, as well. "I think tha's very sound logic."

Evelyn breathed a sigh of relief as the mime left, and smiled at Kaden, before turning to the woman. "Oh, it is a pleasure. I am Evelyn, you have a lovely name. Shakespearean, even if that was not the intention when naming you." "Honestly, I might need at least one shot of something," she motioned to the bartender for a small drink and took it, downing it in one go. "Luckily, I have a high tolerance."

Then Nell turned back to her sister, offering her a shot as well. "I'm honestly not sure who's idea the venue was. It seems...questionable after he got stabbed, though. Ugh- my own sister....won't even stab a mime with me. I mean...it wouldn't be the first time I punched a mime. You know this."

Luce belatedly noticed that Bo had walked up and she immediately turned to face the bartender, who seemed to be sweating heavily through his thick mime make up, clearly very busy. He pushed her the drinks she'd ordered and she slid a five dollar bill across the table. "If you need help, blink twice." She said. The mime stared at her, unblinking. Drink in one hand, Luce accepted the shot from Nell and clinked it together. "To Kaden. And to punching mimes." She tossed back the shot.

Marie-Jeanne slipped through the crowd to the bar, to the woman who smelled like chemicals. She was so pretty, and Marie-Jeanne knew instantly that her name was Cece. She smiled, touching Cece's shoulder, before waving a quick number of gestures to the bartender. He rolled his eyes, and served an invisible shot of tequila, complete with invisible lime and the very visible salt shaker. She picked up the salt shaker and shook it over her hand - no salt fell out of the visibly full shaker. Then she raised her glass in toast with Cece, licked the invisible salt, took the shot and bit on the lime, cringing. Do you want some, she gestured? Pouring out a fresh shot of invisible tequila shots for the whole group. Obviously, her eyes were on all of them, but her wide smile (Fun mime fact: Marie-Jeanne had too many teeth) was aimed entirely at Cece.

Looked over to Arthur as he made his way over, along with Mercy, Evelyn waved hello. "Well, I would say it is a pleasure to see you both, and it is, though again, I would prefer different circumstances. Plus side, they serve decent alcohol."

Joanne debated: track down Kaden to deliver her gift, or go fight the mime who got to him first? There'd be time for Kaden later, but her rats needed some fresh blood. She located one of the striped fiends who'd danced for Kaden and trailed her, figuring that her own stripes and beret afforded her some camouflage. But a gloved hand was placed around her wrist. The rats panicked, going after the mime, but there was another. And another. And another. The mimes enveloped her, and she had no choice to be swept away in a striped current.

"Drink!" Marley exclaimed to Simon. "You're falling behind!" Somehow, the bartender kept providing shots, and Marley was more than happy to suck them down. Finally feeling that tingle in her fingertips. She nudged Jane. "Feeling better yet, Newbie?" she grinned. "If you need any help, just say so." Someone was suddenly near them, someone Marley didn't care for, licking salt and smiling. Ugh, salt. She turned back to Jane. "Having fun yet?"

Arthur grimaced ever so slightly. "You and me both, I think a mime just tried to make me strip..." he shook his head a little bit still mildly traumatised at the thought. "And..." he glanced to the man nearby having heard him be addressed as such but feeling inclined to confirm just in case "you must be Kaden then? Happy birthday."

Kaden put his hand on Alain's shoulder. "Look, I need to be drunk to survive this. Do you see all this? Do you see that?!" He gestured to the room. All of it. He tried to pull the bow off his arm, no luck. Merde. He found another drink in his hand as some sort of toast was happening. Great. That was fine. He turned to the new person in their circle. "Hey, I don't know you. Yeah, that's me alright. This shit storm is all for me. So glad."

"Alcohol makes it all better," Mercy said to Evelyn. "And man who did you piss off for this debacle? I mean... it's fucking great... but holy shit..." she laughed at Kaden.

Nell glanced around to the next group over, raising her hand to take the opportunity to wave at Kaden and say, "Happy Birthday! Try not to stab anything tonight, you're doing great."

Cece felt the touch on her shoulder and turned smiling, assuming it was someone else from the department coming to join in on the drinking fun. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to her. “Oh. No, no. I’m definitely going to need way more alcohol to deal with this.” She shook her head and reached out, grabbing the drink from a random patron sitting at the bar. He gave her a look, but she just took a long drink from his beer, “Look, I know why I got dragged here. What’s your excuse?” She narrowed her eyes at him and went back to drinking. After more alcohol and the room had finally started spinning, she raised her glass of invisible tequila that the horrifying mime had poured and downed it. Or well, pretended to. Someone please shoot her. This was a police department. She knew someone here had a gun.

Simon didn't realise that he had shifted all three drinks to one hand as he rubbed at his nose, turning his head as that smell caught him again. Different, still new and bad but good. He snapped his head back to Marley as the latter exclaimed to him and he absently. "Oh, er... sorry," He apologised and half-heartedly took another sip, sticking his tongue out at the taste. He handed one of the shots he had BEEN handed back to Marley as he caught the mime out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't explain why but the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It was just a mime, it was just a mime...

Red basically sprinted over to Kaden with Artie on their arm and handed the gift to Kaden. "Gotta go the kid is sick at home. This party was fucking weird. See you around dude. Good luck." Turning to Artie,"Let's go."

"Cheers to forgetting this all ever happened!" Jane agreed with Cece, knocking back another shot. She clapped Simon on the shoulder lightly, "Keep up, keep up. Or they'll get you," she said spookily, though there was some part of her that believed that. She laughed when Stryder nudged her, nodding. She felt warm and fuzzy by now, ready to settle in and watch the chaos. But if any of those things came near her, there was going to be a problem. "I wouldn't say fun," Jane said, shrugging slightly, "But a little better. If I squint things are less sparkly."

Arthur raised his hand a little and smiled, "nice to meet you Kaden... Arthur - Regan sent me an invite..." not sure why, but here he was. Hearing Mercy's remark as she arrived at his side he laughed quietly, "Mercy's right, what happened to result in this level of punishment?"

One moment, the mime that had murmured to her was there. The next she was gone? Or perhaps she was just one of the many unrecognisable mimes in the room. Either way, Lydia snapped a photo of Kaden looking traumatised to send to Deirdre, and ducked out for later.

Luce set the empty shot glass on the bar and took a long drink from her whiskey glass. Glancing down the bar, she saw the familiar red suit down the way. "I'm going to see if I can get something to liven up the party. Don't do anything I wouldn't." She joked to her sister before walking over to the red-suited man with the strange glasses. "So, you're the guy to see if we needed anything, huh?" She said with a grin and holding her glass out to clink with his.

Marley gave a loud laugh. "What? You don't like glitter, Newbie? Well," she ran her finger across the bar top, scooping up some glitter onto it, "get used to it!" And swiped her finger across Jane's cheek, leaving a streak of glitter. Laughed again, taking another shot. This was great. Maybe she would have to thank Langley after all.

Dario walked in through the front door, having completely misread the sign for this place, thinking it was a regular, old strip club, and wondering whether it might actually be any good. He didn't actually enjoy strip clubs that much, but he'd been curious. Imagine his surprise when he was greeted by nothing but...stripes And far more people that he'd expected to be in here. He recognized some of that faces, but other were lost on him. He paused there in his confusion, a simple "What the fuck" expressing his feelings on the whole matter.

Blanche decided that she was never, ever going to speak of that awful lap dance again... unless it was a few days after this and she saw the opportunity to roast the poor birthday boy. But now? IF she drank more, she could pretend only that Tyler Lautner was the only thing she had a hand in in this hell scape. She glanced at Nell. "Wait, are we stabbing a mime? I thought that wasn't allowed."

Bea was too busy staring at the woman who was being taken by mimes to pay attention to what was happening around her. When she finally looked back at the group she was in there were suddenly more people. This was one of the most overwhelming parties she'd ever been at. "Hi," She said to them all, before looking back to where the woman had been. "Did anyone else just see that lady get pulled away by mimes?"

Kaden narrowed his eyes. "So you're the pie guy, huh?" The alcohol might have been taking effect. A little. Thank god. He almost missed Red leaving. He tried to wave goodbye, he guessed. Did that mean he could leave too? No, something told him not yet. He turned back to Mercy and Arthur. "Fuck if I know. I think a certain pipsqueak is to blame. And a guy in a red suit. And my girlfriend. Maybe."

Marie-Jeanne clapped as Cece downed the shot, and immediately poured her two more, handing them to her, before beginning a sultry dance for her. She was interested, after all, she'd drunk the tequila. And maybe her friends would like them too. Then Marie-Jeanne could introduce them all to her Friend. her Friend was so hungry, after all. All of them were hungry.

"You mean Blanche??" Mercy asked. "The pipsqueak? Doesn't surprise me. She's weird like that. Good weird. She's my new assistant, did I tell you??" she suddenly said to Arthur. "I've got... a protege."

Bo could feel it. The alcohol. Finally. "PARTYYYYYYYY!!!" She screeched. She jumped forward. She kissed someone on the cheek, and then someone else. And then she ran around. Kissed some more cheeks. "PARTTTYYYYTYYYY!" She kissed a mime. Or maybe that was a chair. She thought she saw someone get taken by mines. She cheered. "TAKE US ALL AWAY MIMES!!" She was drunk, very drunk. Which was a lot for a woman that had never had a sip before. She ran off to find more cheeks that needed smooching.

Jeff never made it into the building because he showed up, saw the Mimes, Mimes, Mimes neon sign, and said "What the fucking fuck is that?" and then made the only smart decision he had ever made: He said "Fuck that" and turned around and went home, promising himself to give Kaden's birthday gift to him at a later date.

Arthur blinked tilting his head a little. Regan had mentioned that Kaden might have an issue with the pie thing but he didn't really see what the issue was. What had Regan said? That he was fragile? "Uh... Yeah I guess so? She seemed upset, so I figured it was the best thing I could do to help." He tipped his shoulder in a little shrug, not really understanding what he meant about a pipsqueak but he'd seen someone in a red suit. "That's... yeah, wow. This whole thing is... something else entirely."

As Bo began her apparent tirade through the room, Winston immediately wondered if perhaps they had encouraged a little bit too much of a good thing. Stumbling after them, they tried to keep the main group in sight. But they realised in that moment that they had somewhat lost track of time and perhaps more importantly just how much they had had to drink. "Hey Bo," they said quietly as the world swayed gently around them, "I'm gonna get some water, do you want to come get some water with me?" they could barely stand up anymore. They really hoped Bo said yes because the world was spinning a bit and they needed to sit down.

Dario winced as a near screech hurt his sensitive ears, but then he realized he recognized the shriek. "Bo?" he asked as the women went around on her tirade of cheek kissing, and he quickly darted out an arm to try and latch onto the girl and keep her from continuing this....mess. "Are you like...okay?"

Bea supposed there wasn't much to do for the lady now and shrugged it off, looking back at Kaden and then Arthur. Oh no. The pie guy was Arthur. "Oh, you made the pie. That was nice of you," She wanted to be polite but Kaden had been baking so much because of Arthur's pie and she was honestly a little concerned now that the two men were meeting.

"I'm sorry, what?" Alain looked at Beatrice, a confused look on his face. She was joking right? Although, he was soon to divert from someone possibly being abducted by mimes, hearing Kaden finally call Regan his girlfriend. "What was that?" He looked over at him, with his eyebrows raised. "Nah, Regan would never allow this. She would have planned a skeleton party or something," he observed. Much like Kaden, Alain ended up with a glass he did not ask for in his hand. Maybe he could drink that, after all. This would save him a little from this hell.

Luce ducked out of the way from Bo's cheek kissing with a grimace. Fuck that.

Simon clutched his remaining two glasses tighter, feeling Jane's hand on his shoulder but instead, he handed her his other drink firmly to ensure she didn't drop it. He kept his eyes on the mime stripper now, noting everything she was doing or rather, NOT doing. Pantomime, a talent unless it was like this. He didn't like it at all. "Ms B-- Cece," He whispered, perhaps more to himself. "I don't know about this."

With a lit joint in hand and not a single fuck to give, Felix pushed away from the bar and caught the eye of one of the mimes. He did his best to motion a cake. Apparently, it was good enough and they nodded. “Alright! Who’s ready for cake? I’m sure it’ll stack real nicely with all the tequila and whiskey, believe you me!” He took a long hit and waited. The vague music shut off and enveloped the room in a thick silence. Until slightly squeaky wheels, amplified by the quiet, squeaked in the distance. In rolled a large cake. A cake large enough to fit a mime. No one seemed to be actually rolling it, as a gaggle of mime strippers made vague pushing motions behind it. It moved on its own. Tall candles sparkled a top of it. The cake came to a stop in front of Kaden and Felix started to grin. The mimes that had been 'pushing' the cake started to make accordion motions to some distant tune of Happy Birthday as a mime, barely clad, started to slither their way from the top. It didn’t even sound like it was in the same building. The fae smirked at Luce and clinked glasses. “Absolutely anything,” he said. “Whatcha got in mind to really spice this up?”

Mercy wanted pie. Why didn't she have any pie? Who was screaming?? Was it a fun scream? Or a death scream? She couldn't tell.

Jane watched as Marley stuck her finger in the glitter, before - "Don't you dare!" she said, before she scowled at Marley. "You just - did you just - .... I'm sparkly now." Jane said, the alcohol making it hard to really process what the fuck that was. Jane grabbed a pinch of glitter and sprinkled it on Marley's shirt. "There, now you're sparkly too - oh NO. Bo!" Jane said, in horror, pointing. "We should go get her."

Bea watched in horror as Felix made an announcement with a lit joint in his hand. "This is a cop party!" She mouthed at him, eyes wide, hoping he would get the memo that that was not a good idea in front of them. "What the heck?" She whispered as the cake began to pull up in front of Kaden. "Do mimes have magic?"

Oh. Cake. A... fucking... wow, that was a big cake. Now Mercy wanted cake. Wait... did she? When did it get quiet? Was she talking to herself? Or out loud?

Arthur furrowed his brow a little bit, was there some kind of context he was missing here? He looked to Bea and smiled, polite if not a little reserved trying to understand what he was missing out of the situation. "Uh... thanks? I think? Just a once off... I don't know Regan well so..." he shrugged again, slightly awkwardly. The moment was cut off by the arrival of the cake and Arthur stared at it in mounting horror. Why was he by Kaden at this point? Good gods above... This was something else entirely and he had no words to describe it. 

Marley watched as Bo took off. Oh, she should've realized that Bo was a lightweight. Oops. Shrugging, she turned back to Jane. "Nah, looks like the computer guy and Mister Pecs have that covered," she said, pointing towards the two scurrying after the drunken Bo. "Hey, I don't need sparkles. I already have the MOST sparkly personality in the entire precinct," she said with a deadpan stare. "See?" Before sprinkling more glitter on Jane.

"Oi! No fucking... the fucking cake.... you... fucks..." Mercy promptly threw her glass at one of the mimes. The mime somehow slithered to the side, and the sound of breaking glass echoed through the eerie silence. The mimes did not notice. Only continued their mimery.

Winston stumbled as they noticed the cake, Nell was saying something about it being defiled and if Winston knew mimes, which they didn't, then this wasn't beyond the realms of possibility with them. "Really?" they slurred, reaching up to adjust their glasses somewhat haphazardly, "Is nothing sacred anymore?" they stumbled towards the bar, hoping there would be something non alcoholic they could eat.

Luce stared at the cake that the red suited man had brought in with growing horror. Fuck. Taking a long drink from her glass, she turned to the culprit. At this point, she was going to take whatever she could get to make sure that she never remembered seeing anyof this. "Drugs. Drugs to forget... all of that." She said, gesturing to Kaden, to the cake, to the cursed fucking mimes. "What would you recommend?"

Marie-Jeanne turned as the cake rolled in, miming applause. Her face slowly went blank. Her eyes widened and stopped moving. The silent music inside her stilled. it wasn't just her. It was many of them. Watching, silently, the miming writhing stripers (spelling entirely correct).

Oh yeah, Cece was totally about to get back alley murdered by this creepy ass mime. She had been way too excited about that fake alcohol. Had she just gotten mime roofied? She did feel more drunk, but maybe that was just a placebo effect. Or all the other alcohol she had consumed. She heard Simon behind her speaking, but it mostly came out as a buzzing noise instead of actual words. “I’m-it’s fine. We’re fine.” She waved away the someone, she wasn’t sure what direction she was facing at this point. What the hell had that fake shot glass been? Oh fuck, was this mime magic? Shit that’d actually be kinda cool if it wasn’t the worst. “Simon, my friend. Cece says that she’s fucked up.” And then, because horrible decisions were a cornerstone of her character apparently, she mimed drinking the other too fake glasses.

"Arthur, as nice as you are to look at, the idea of you stripping is about seven-thousand shades of 'absolutely not' in my book." Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "Yes, somehow I do not feel as though Regan would be the sort to organize this." Alain had gotten a drink, somehow - but wasn't he not drinking? Hadn't he told her that? "You are so kind to get me something else to drink." She said, raising an eyebrow at him, a grin crossing her lips as she took the drink out of his hand, her fingers brushing lightly against his. She downed that drink too, though then she couldn't help but watch as a cake was brought out and - no, absolutely not - she looked over to Alain. "Would you like to stay, or should we use this as a chance to get away?"

Arthur shook his head at Evelyn's remark and huffed "right? in your books and mine, don't worry." The clatter of glass however made him wince as he looked aside at Mercy, before muttering under his breath "make a scene why don't you?" The mimes just seemed to continue their mimeockery oblivious to the act.

Mercy turned to stare at the side of Arthur's face. "Make a scene? What's that supposed to mean??"

"I think... I think everyone here is going to need therapy." Bea said softly.

Felix tilted his head and knowingly smiled at Luce. “I’ve got some Blue Velvet,” he said as he pulled out a very small bag of said drug, as well as a handful of rolling papers. “You’ll feel better about the whole thing, cake and the candles. Got a party discount of fifteen, because I might need it too. You in? Also got more than a few mushrooms to go around of the blue, red, and purple variety.”

The glass shattering also made Simon grimace if only because it was an unexpected noise after silence. He shook his head, wrenching his gaze away from the nightmarish... thing they rolled out and called a cake and he set his half-empty glass on the bar. "Cece, I think we should go," He said with more urgency, placing a hand on her shoulder this time. He would apologise later.

Alain looked over as the mimes did... things with what was meant to be the birthday cake. His eyes rolled at the sight of it. Gross. He had always hated those cakes with icing and fancy designs that Americans were so fond of. "Yeah, I'm not enduring anymore of this, especially not for a bland vanilla cake," he did not protest one bit as she took the drink from his hands. He was actually thankful, and even more so now that he had a good reason to leave. "Let's get out of here," he agreed.

Bo screamed in Winston's face. "I LOVE YOUUUUUU". She turned to Dario. "You're like so hot. Like hotter than all these mimes, and these mimes are pretty hot." And then she ran off again. More cheeks to kiss. Was that Evelyn? She'd smooch that evil cheek. Did she see Luce? Nell? Those were cheeks to kiss. That guy over there? Lonely cheek. "PARTTTTYYYYY!" She screamed again. Bo stood up on a table, "ONE TIME KADEN BLASTED MAMMA MIA THROUGH THE STATION AND HE WAS SINGING ALONG AND I'M SENDING YOU ALL THE VIDEOOOOO!!" Then she tumbled off the table. She paused. "Ooh. Cake."

Luce let out a sigh of relief. At least Mr. Red Suit wasn't some shitty undercover cop or something. The thought had crossed her mind, but honestly, jail probably would have been a welcome sight from this hellhole. "Blue Velvet sounds great to me. I'm Luce, by the way." She said with a nod. "Mushrooms aren't my thing though. But, consider me down to clown." She grimaced. "Or mime, I guess."

Arthur gestured vaguely to Mercy, "I mean that... You. You know?" He was distracted soon enough by a woman as she climbed up on the table announcing something about Mamma Mia... "Ooookay, on that note... I think we should... get going?"

Bea turned to Kaden,"Did you actually do that?" She had been at the Silver Bullet and they loved ABBA. She supposed it made sense if he loved them too.

"Me? What about me? Are you implying that I..." Mercy huffed. "I don't make sce-" SHe blinked at the woman on the table. "That's a scene."

Kaden wasn't ready for any of this. Not any of it. "Well I'm sure it was incredible," he told Arthur. He caught the vibe from Bea to be nice but he didn't give a shit. He made a promise to have fun, right? This was fun. Maybe. That cake was fucking cursed. This whole place was cursed. And so was Bo, apparently. "Maybe," he grumbled to Bea. "Did Felix say something about drugs, did I hear that right? Super hearing. Your sister's doing drugs right now by the way."

Wasting no time at all, Felix rolled the both of them a nice blue cigarette and handed one to her. "Enjoy. You might try walking into some walls and stuff, but compared to the rest of this mime shit show, wouldn't be the worst. Pleasure to meet you, Luce. I'm Felix, the reason everyone is currently suffering. Pretty fun, right?"

Normally, Dario would enjoy a pretty girl calling him hot. But Bo was absolutely blitzed, it seemed. One moment she was there, and the next she was off again, leaving him in vaugely concerned confusion. At least she didn't seem to be a danger to herself. Then she tumbled off the table. "Shit," he cursed under his breath, trying to follow her like her own personal nanny or something. "That looked like it could have hurt." Absently, he looked towards the woman pointing towards Bo, frowning in her direction. "Pretty sure throwing a glass out of nowhere is more of a scene than getting on a table."

Evelyn nodded in agreement with Alain. "That cake looks terrible - perhaps you should send Kaden something better, since the two of you are both excellent at baking. I bet he would appreciate that." She waved a goodbye to Kaden, making a mental note to send him really good alcohol and probably many other things later, before she looked back to Alain. "Yes, I agree. We should get out of here. You are welcome to come over, I have coffee and tea and no mimes."

Alain handed the box that contained the striped Breton shirt to Kaden. Following after Evelyn, he nodded. "Sounds like a plan. We can discuss this fiasco over coffee, tea, and better cake."

Bo passed out in the corner.

All of the mimes had stopped moving. Only the mimes that continued to slither out of the cake still moved, and the ones playing accordions. The mimes all looked to Kaden and his party. Every single one of them. Marie-Jeanne walked over to the cake, picking up an invisible plate and knife as she walked, swaying her stripey hips. She mimed slicing into the cake, and again, and slid an invisible slice of cake onto her invisible cake. She turned her blank face to Kaden, stepped forward, and hurled the slice at him, where it splattered all over his features. The cake was still whole, but somehow, he was visibly covered in icing and cake crumbs. She laughed, silently, her eyes fixed on him. What a fun birthday party!

[wildflowerirwin]

Love Me Back - a.i. (1)

Summary: Lacey Teller needed more, she found it in a sugar daddy

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Swearing, smut, men are shit

Words: 3k

The worst form of lust was that of an employee lusting for a life free of capitalist work. At least, it was to Lacey. She hated her job. She wanted nothing more than to be free of her current job. She despised her boss, hated her catty coworkers, and most of all, resented each customer that threw their coffees back at her. Lacey had been a barista at the local coffeeshop since she was a freshman in college, now a first year law student. “Lacey, I’d like to speak with you in my office.”

“Yes, sir.” Lacey sighed, following Ray into the office. He gently trailed his fingers down her back as he closed the office door, her shoulders tensing.

“We received another complaint today.” Ray said, sitting in the swivel chair.

“Sir, I can assure you that whatever they claim I said was taken very out of context.” Lacey defended, her heart racing.

“I’m not blaming you, Lacey.” Ray said, placing his hand on her lower back. “I know customers can be rather insensitive at times.” His thumb grazed the exposed skin of her back lightly.

“Sir, with all due respect, don’t touch me.” Lacey moved aside, Ray’s hand falling from her back to the bottom of her thigh.

“Lacey, you’re my longest employee. I’d hate to lose you over something like this?” Ray tutted, looking up at her from his chair.

“Lose me over what? Your inappropriate touches?” Lacey crossed her arms, anger rising through her veins.

“I wouldn’t call them inappropriate.” Ray shrugged, his fingers gripping into Lacey’s denim clad thighs. “They’re simply affectionate. You know, you’re my favorite employee. You always have been.”

“These touches are inappropriate. You know how I know that? Because I don’t want them.” Lacey said, struggling to keep her voice from faltering.

“Lacey, Lacey, Lacey..” Ray chuckled and stood up. “Just because you’re in law school, doesn’t mean you know everything. Now, either you accept my affections, or I’m going to have to fire you.”

“Oh, no need.” Lacey opened the office door. “I quit.” She pulled her apron off and threw it at Ray before storming out of the shop. As her eyes adjusted to the sunlight, she glanced at the bar across the street. The bright neon sign read ‘Babylon Bar & Grille.’ Below that was a wooden door, next to which was a window. In that window, a sign. The sign wasn’t just alerting the public to the need for workers, but it was a calling to Lacey. She tightened her jacket around her shoulders and faced the wind, making her way to the bar. She walked inside and up to the counter where a tall, soft faced man stood.

“What can I get for you?” His thick Australian accent stunning Lacey. He raised an eyebrow as she continued to look at him, but failed to speak. “Uh, Miss?”

“I.. Sorry. Uh, I saw the ‘Help Wanted’ sign in the window. I’d like to fill out an application.” Lacey said, finally speaking. He nodded and placed an application down in front of her. She pulled a pen from her purse and filled out the application. She slid it back across the bar.

“Great. Lacey is it?” He looked down at her.

“That’s right.” She nodded.

“My name is Michael, I’m the opening shift manager. I’ll pass your application on to Ashton, the general manager, and we will see you Thursday for an interview.” He nodded, picking up her application.

“What time?” Lacey asked, putting her pen back in her purse.

“2:30. Don’t worry about wearing anything nice for the interview, you could come in sweatpants and still get the job. We’re desperate.” Mike said, shaking her hand.

“Cool.” Lacey giggled softly. “See you on Thursday.” She smiled softly at him and walked out of the bar. Michael walked into the back room and set the application down on Ashton’s desk.

“We’ve got a new waitress.” Mike said, lighting a cigarette. Ashton grabbed the application and gave it a quick glance over.

“Lacey Teller, aged 22, Harvard Law. Impressive. Nerdy.” Ashton shrugged. “Was she hot?” He looked up at Mike, a smirk falling on his face.

“Guess you’ll have to find out on Thursday. She’ll be in for an interview at 2:30.” Mike smirked, walking into the side alley.

*** On Thursday, Lacey walked into the bar at 2:15. She knew what time exactly to leave her apartment to be right on time, but she had to be early. If she wasn’t early, she was late. Even if she got there right at 2:30, she considered herself late. She walked up to the bar where Michael stood, typing away on his phone. Lacey cleared her throat and looked at Michael. “Lacey! You’re early.” Michael smiled and set his phone on the bar. “Let me go get Ashton.”

“I’m right on time.” Lacey muttered to herself and took a seat on a barstool. Michael walked into the back and knocked on the office door.

“Hey, your 2:30 is here.” Mike said and Ashton looked up from his work.

“Lacey Teller?” Ashton looked at him and Mike nodded. “Perfect. Here, this is the address for the delivery tonight. Be careful, cops have been patrolling the area pretty heavily since one of Aaron’s guys got caught.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be careful. Luke’s gonna be late today. Petunia’s got her vet appointment.” Mike said, walking back out to the front with Ashton.

“I told him to schedule her appointments in the morning.” Ashton sighed, and poured himself a glass of scotch. He looked at Lacey and licked his lips. “You must be Lacey.” He smiled softly at her.

“That’s me.” Lacey smiled and stood up, looking at Ashton. She almost lost her balance when she saw him. He was the most handsome man she had ever seen. His dimples, his eyes, the chest hair peeking out of his button up. She couldn’t get enough.

“Awesome, follow me and we’ll get started with your interview.” Ashton nodded and led her to the back room. He walked into the office and took a seat at his desk, pulling up a chair for Lacey. “So, tell me a little about yourself while I get my shit together.” He said, pulling a binder down from the shelf.

“Uh, I’m 22. I was born in Kentucky, but I moved here when I was 18 for college. I have a bachelor’s degree in early childhood education with a minor in photography, but I’m back in law school now.” Lacey said, looking around the room.

“Interesting major/minor combination.” Ashton nodded. “Why education?”

“It was easy to get through.” Lacey shrugged. “I just needed a degree so I could go to law school.”

“Very interesting. So, why do you want to work in a boring restaurant that doesn’t get many customers?”

“Anything is better than my last job. I worked at the coffeeshop across the street for 5 years. I quit the same day I came in here.”

“Why’d you quit?” Ashton asked, looking at her.

“My boss was a pathetic excuse for a man. He threatened to fire me for not accepting his advances, so I quit.” Lacey shrugged and Ashton crossed his arms.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Luke is gonna be even later today.” Calum said, poking his head into the office. “He called and said Petunia is too sad to let him leave.”

“You tell Luke that if he’s not here by 3:30, I’m gonna make him go on deliveries instead of Mike.” Ashton groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’ll tell him to just bring Petunia here.” Calum said, walking away.

“Sorry about that. That was Calum, the assistant manager. Luke is our closing manager, who is far too attached to his baked potato.” Ashton sighed, looking back at Lacey.

“Oh, no problem at all.” Lacey said, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Right, so, back to this shitty boss of yours.” Ashton said, looking at his notes. “Was he the only bad boss you’ve had?”

“No, but he was by far the worst. None of the others tried to touch me like he did.” Lacey sighed, crossing her arms over her stomach.

“I’m sorry, Lacey.” Ashton sighed. “Would you be comfortable working here? The management staff is all male, and we only have one female employee and you’d be taking her job.”

“I’m fine with male employees, especially when they’re as attractive as the ones I’ve seen here.” Lacey blurted, her eyes going wide. “I mean, as long as they’re respectful of women.”

“Alright,” Ashton chuckled quietly. “What are you hoping to be paid here?”

“Well, I am in law school currently, so I need to make enough to pay rent and save for tuition.” Lacey nodded.

“Well, I can offer you $12 an hour, plus tips.” Ashton said, looking at Lacey.

“That won’t be enough. I’d have to get a second job to afford rent every month.” Lacey shook her head.

“Let me finish.” Ashton said, raising a hand to quiet her. “I can also offer you $2000 a month in exchange for your services keeping me company.” Ashton leaned back in his chair and looked at her. Her jaw dropped slightly and she stared at him.

“You want me to be your sugar baby?” She gaped.

“If you’re comfortable with that. Otherwise, I can just pay you higher wages for your work here.” He shrugged.

“I..” Her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty. Her mind was running a million miles a minute, yet she couldn’t form a comprehensible thought.

“I can give you time to decide.” Ashton said, sitting up straighter.

“No, I’ll do it.” She looked at him, her words shocking both of them.

“You’ll do it?” Ashton asked, looking into her eyes.

“I’ll do it. But, just what will this entail?” She asked, leaning forward.

“I will give you as much money as you would like, in return you keep me company. You’ll accompany me on dates, to board functions, and if you’re comfortable with it, you’ll keep me company between the sheets.” He bite his lip as he watched the idea sink into her brain.

“Okay, it’s a deal.” Lacey smiled softly at him.

“Great. I’m gonna put you into the schedule and get payroll set up, I need you to go pack up your apartment. I’ll be there in the morning.” Ashton smirked, shaking her hand.

“Pack up my apartment?” She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Ashton.

“That’s right.” He nodded. “You’ll be moving into a new penthouse much closer to campus and to the bar. I’ll pick you up in the morning and take you over there.” Lacey nodded and stood up.

“Alright, I’ll see you in the morning.” Lacey smiled softly and walked out of the office.

*** That following morning, Lacey awoke to Ashton knocking on her door. She rolled off her mattress on the floor and walked to the door, pulling it open. “When you said morning, I thought maybe you meant, like, 11am. Not 6:30,” Lacey yawned, rubbing her eyes.

“We’ve got a big day ahead of us.” Ashton said, walking into the apartment. He looked around, his features showing his disgust at the apartment. “It’s a good thing we’re getting you out of here.”

“Why’s that?” Lacey asked, closing the door.

“This place is a death trap. You’ve got exposed wires, windows that don’t lock. Anyone can walk into your building. I was expecting at least a code, but the door just opens.”

“It’s cheap.” Lacey shrugged.

“Well, you’ll be living so much better when we get you to the penthouse. Now, you go get dressed and I’ll start bringing these boxes to the truck.” Ashton said and picked up a box. Lacey nodded and walked back to her bedroom. It didn’t take long for them to get Lacey’s things up into the penthouse. The long part was the unpacking.

“Ashton?” Lacey asked, looking up at him.

“Yes, baby girl?” Ashton looked down at her, the new pet name causing her stomach to flip and a pool to grow in her thong.

“How can you afford this?” Lacey asked, her eyes not leaving his.

“I may not look like it, but I am a millionaire.” Ashton chuckled. “I just don’t use hardly any of my money. That’s why I offered you this arrangement.”

“I don’t need much either.” Lacey shrugged.

“Well, I do have something else for you.” Ashton smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“What is it?” Lacey asked, watching as Ashton walked out the door of the penthouse. She jogged to catch up with him, following him into the elevator. He pressed the button for the parking garage and the elevator slowly began moving. Lacey leaned against Ashton lightly, not wanting to put all of her weight on him. Ashton smiled to himself and wrapped his arm around her, slipping his hand into the back pocket of her jean shorts, squeezing gently. Lacey giggled softly and rubbed her hand over Ashton’s chest gently. The elevator doors opened and Ashton walked with her to the other side of the lot.

“Okay, close your eyes.” Ashton smiled. Lacey giggled quietly and covered her eyes. Ashton continued leading her, stopping her once they reached the other side. “Open them.” Lacey opened her eyes and looked out at the brand new car in front of her.

“You bought me a car?” Lacey looked up at him.

“You need some way to get around town, don’t you?” Ashton smiled down at her.

“Thank you, daddy!” Lacey squeaked, hugging Ashton tight.

“You’re welcome, baby girl.” Ashton grinned, pressing his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back, her lips slipping against his. “There’s more.” Ashton hummed, sliding the keys into Lacey’s hands. She chewed on her lip as she unlocked the car, opening the back door.

“Oh, my God. Ash, you didn’t have to get all of this for me.” Lacey’s eyes widened as she looked at the shopping bags in the backseat. There were bags from places she could never have afforded before this. “This is amazing, thank you.” Her arms were around his neck again and her lips on his. Ashton hummed and pushed the bags into the trunk as he laid Lacey on the seats, settling between her legs. “I mean it, Ash. You didn’t have to get all of this for me.”

“I did.” Ashton said, cupping her cheek gently. “Things have been very lonely for me lately and having someone to spoil is going to help with that.” He smiled, pressing his lips to hers again. He slipped his hands under her shirt, pulling it over her head.

“In the car?” She looked up at him.

“Gotta christen it.” Ashton smirked, pulling his own shirt off.

“Our first time, though? In the car?”

“Do you not want to do it in the car?” Ashton asked, looking down at her.

“It’s fine, I just want to do it. I’ve been thinking about it since you asked me to be your sugar baby.” Lacey said, pulling Ashton down into a heated kiss. He smirked against her lips and unbuttoned her shorts, pulling them down along with her thong.

“Fuck..” Ashton bit his lip, the sight beneath him something he wished he could see for the rest of his life.

“Something wrong?” Lacey asked, a sudden wave of self consciousness overwhelming her.

“No. No, God, no.” Ashton shook his head. “My God, baby girl, you’re so fucking stunning.” Ashton brought his hands to her thighs, rubbing gently.

“Promise?” She whispered, looking up at him.

“Promise.” He pressed his lips to hers. She hummed against his lips as his fingers moved to her clit, rubbing slowly. Lacey gasped as his fingers rubbed between her folds. “Such pretty sounds.” Ashton’s lips attached to the skin of her neck as he pushed two fingers in, curling them upward.

“Oh, God..” Lacey moaned, her hips bucking against his hand.

“You like that, baby girl?” Ashton mumbled against her neck as he worked his fingers into her.

“Yes, daddy. Feels so fucking good.” Lacey moaned out, her head lulling back. “Please, daddy, I need your cock.” Lacey whimpered, digging her nails into his bicep. Ashton pulled his fingers from her and sucked them into his mouth, cleaning them of her juices. Lacey leaned forward and unbuttoned Ashton’s jeans, pushing them down. He pushed his boxers down and pumped himself slowly.

“Do I need a condom?” Ashton asked, rubbing the tip of his cock along her folds. Lacey moaned softly and shook her head.

“Mm-mm, I’m covered.” Her lips found his as he pushed in slowly, filling her completely. “God, yes.” Lacey moaned, her eyes falling closed as her head lulled back. Ashton groaned lowly and held her hips in his hands as his thrusts sped up.

“Your pussy was made for me.” Ashton grunted, pulling her hips up against his. Lacey wrapped her legs around his hips, pushing him deeper.

“Oh, fuck.” Lacey moaned louder, bringing her fingers to her clit.

“Mm-mm, baby girl.” Ashton groaned, pushing Lacey’s hand away and replacing it with his thumb. He rubbed his thumb against her clit in slow circles, matching the pace of his thumb to his thrusts.

“I’m so close, daddy.” Lacey whimpered softly, her walls clenching around his cock.

“Cum for daddy.” He mused, his hips pounding into hers. His name fell from her lips repeatedly as she came, her toes curling. “That’s it, baby.” Ashton moaned, filling her with his load.

“The car was a perfect spot for this.” Lacey hummed, pressing her lips to his.

“Couldn’t agree more.” Ashton grinned, his lips molding against hers.

Tag List: @lukescherrypie @calumculture @kinglycalum @babylon-corgis @novacanecalum @lfwallscouldtalk @dontdoitluke @isabella10028 @calumamongmen @dukesnumber1 @network5sos

Wanna be added to my tag list?

[fierceawakening]

https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/08/europe/germany-poison-sandwiches-scli-intl/index.html

It may be a bad idea to post this at all, but... I wanted to present it to those of you who were baffled by the empathy discussion as an example of why I was convinced by research like Hare’s on sociopathy. 

(NB: I am not claiming Hare is right here; I’m personally still convinced he was pointing at something but you guys have done a good job of offering reasons it’s not as clear as he says it is, some of which seem to me to be borne out in studies. I’m offering this as an explanation of why people might be swayed, as I was, by arguments that to you guys are obviously obscenely bigoted.)

Here’s the (brief) explanation of Klaus’s motive for smearing poison on his coworkers’ sandwiches, making them ill to the point of organ failure and coma:

Klaus O refused to speak during his trial and the motive for his actions is still unclear.

However, a mental health expert for the prison service told the court that the defendant wanted to see how the poison would affect his colleagues, like a scientist performing tests on a rabbit, according to RTL.

And here is Hare describing conclusions drawn from research on "psychopaths” describing how their brains’ function seems to differ from NT controls:

Another psychopath in our research said that he did not really understand what others meant by "fear." However, "When I rob a bank," he said, "I notice that the teller shakes or becomes tongue-tied. One barfed all over the money. She must have been pretty messed up inside, but I don't know why. If someone pointed a gun at me I guess I'd be afraid, but I wouldn't throw up." When asked to describe how he would feel in such a situation, his reply contained no reference to bodily sensations. He said things such as, "I'd give you the money"; "I'd think of ways to get the drop on you"; "I'd try and get my ass out of there." When asked how he would feel, not what he would think or do, he seemed perplexed. Asked if he ever felt his heart pound or his stomach churn, he replied, "Of course! I'm not a robot. I really get pumped up when I have sex or when I get into a fight." 

Laboratory experiments using biomedical recorders have shown that psychopaths lack the physiological responses normally associated with fear. The significance of this finding is that, for most people, the fear produced by threats of pain or punishment is an unpleasant emotion and a powerful motivator of behavior. Fear keeps us from doing some things-"Do it and you'll be sorry"-but it also makes us do other things-"Do it or you'll be sorry." In each case, it is emotional awareness of the consequences that impels us to take a particular course of action. Not so with psychopaths; they merrily plunge on, perhaps knowing what might happen but not really caring.

Which seems to indicate it’s not a choice but a neurodivergence. And then:

In order to survive both physically and psychologically, some normal [sic] individuals develop a degree of insensitivity to the feelings and plight of specific groups of people. For example, doctors who are too empathic toward their patients would soon become emotionally overwhelmed, and their effectiveness as physicians would be reduced. For them, insensitivity is circumscribed,  confined to a specific target group. Similarly, soldiers, gang members, and terrorists may be trained-very effectively, as history has proved over and over again-to view the enemy as less-than-human, as an object without an inner life. 

Psychopaths, however, display a general lack of empathy. They are indifferent to the rights and suffering of family members and strangers alike. If they do maintain ties with their spouses or children it is only because they see their family members as possessions, much like their stereos or automobiles. Indeed, it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that some psychopaths are more concerned with the inner workings of their cars than with the inner worlds of their "loved" ones. One of our subjects allowed her boyfriend to sexually molest her five-year-old daughter because "he wore me out. I wasn't ready for more sex that night." The woman found it difficult to understand why the authorities took her child into care. "She belongs to me. Her welfare is my business." She didn't protest very much, however-certainly not as much as she did when her car was impounded, during the custody hearing, for nonpayment of traffic tickets.

Again... not saying this is correct, or how he should be describing anything. Just offering this as an example of why some NTs are looking at you funny.

Could be you thought you said “emotional contagion doesn’t affect me much, but that’s irrelevant to daily life most of the time” and they’re thinking you said “I’m indifferent to your suffering” and therefore going EEEEEEEEEK.

[jord-w-bush]

Hear For You

Request: some jim halpert x reader with a reader that's Italian or just foreign if that's too specific? maybe they have an accent and michael makes an inappropriate joke about it so jim steps in this time? THANXXX XX LUV U

Warnings: Offensive phrases toward a person who is hard of hearing, swearing, fluff

Pairing: Jim Halpert x Reader

A/N: Happy Valentine’s day y’all! Is anyone else excited for the supposed Office reboot?? I am. Help a girl out and get me an audition for it. Anyway….I hope you guys enjoy this little blurb! As will be the theme in most of my Jim stuff, Pam and him never got together. I am a HUGE Jam fan, and I don’t even want to mess with the idea of them breaking up, so I just write my stories as if they never actually happened. Obviously he had his crush on her, but they never got together. Makes my life easier, and my heart feel a little less like I’m betraying them. I hope you guys don’t mind that I changed the request a bit, but I thought this might be a little bit different! Enjoy!!

Word Count: 1.2 K

Summary: Y/N and Jim have been together just shy of a year, but he has never introduced her to his coworkers. Because of this, the people of Dunder Mifflin Scranton are starting to believe she doesn’t exist. After work one night, the office decides to head to Poor Richards for a drink, and Michael begs Jim to invite his girlfriend. Sick of his teasing, Jim agrees.

Jim pulled into the lot of Poor Richards, but once he had turned off the car, Jim made no move to get out. You looked at him in concern, but knew he would tell you what was bothering him when he was ready.

“Listen, Y/N,” he started turning to you, before finishing his sentence, “I want you to understand that the people I work with, especially Dwight and Michael might be kind of….”

“Over-bearing? Insensitive? Obtuse? Yeah Jim, I know. I may have never met these characters before, but I feel like I’ve known them my whole life. I’m sure I can handle it. But if you really don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. Your life outside of the office is just that, your life. You don’t have to introduce me to them if you’re worried about it so much. I won’t be upset.”

Jim smiled sadly at you and cupped your cheek, running his thumb gently across your smooth skin, “You know I’m not embarrassed by you. I love you so much. It’s them I’m worried about. They can be unpredictable. And I’d hate for this to come between us.”

“Jim, this is your career. And it’s important for me to at least attempt to fit in with your coworkers. Seriously, honey. Don’t worry about me. Let’s just go in there, have some drinks, and let the chips fall where they may.”

Your care-free attitude was something that Jim had always loved about you. You had been in an accident when you were a child that left you with severely reduced hearing. You weren’t completely deaf, but you had to wear hearing aids and read lips to understand what people around you were saying. And as you had grown into an adult, your speech had become louder and slightly muddied, which was what had Jim worried.

You both got out of the car, and Jim waited for you at the hood with his hand stretched to yours. You smiled warmly at him and interlocked your fingers with him, walking to the entrance of the pub and taking a deep breath before walking through the door that Jim had held open for you. When you got to the main room, a large group in the center turned their attention toward you and Jim, and a cacophony of cheers and greetings followed. You smiled and waved at them, and Jim did the same.

“Everybody, I want you to finally meet my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, meet everybody!” Jim introduced you to his coworkers, then pulled out a chair for you before excusing himself to the bar to get you and himself a drink. 

“Hi. I’m Kevin,” a man with slow speech and a receding hairline reached across the table to shake your hand. You took his large hand in your small one and shook it enthusiastically. 

“Kevin! So nice to meet you. Jim has told me so much about you.” You turned to see Pam slide into the chair directly across from you and you smiled at her. Pam Beesley was the only Dunder Mifflin employee you had met before this evening. You knew about Jim’s crush on her before you met, and despite that, you and the other woman got along quite well. In fact, you two had spent a bit of time together without Jim.

“Hi Y/N! It’s so nice to see Jim finally let you out of your cage,” she said to you with a wink.

Before you could reply, Jim sat down beside you, handing you Y/F/D. You smiled at him gratefully and kissed his cheek before looking back to Pam.

“Yeah, we came to an agreement that I should be able to see the light of day at least once a week. You know, just so I don’t lose my vision too.” You giggled at your joke at your own expense and Pam gave you a small smile in return. You had developed a sense of humor about your condition a long time ago. It made it easier and assured other people that it wasn’t easy to offend you.

“There she is! I was beginning to think she wasn’t real. She’s much hotter in person than how you described her, Jim.” You turned to see a man with wide-set eyes and a goofy smile on his face. This must be Michael Scott. Jim’s boss and a man with no filter. Jim had told you many stories about him and the awfully awkward things he said around the office. 

“That’s…not necessary to say, Michael,” Jim started before you mumbled that it was okay, turning to fully face the smiling man.

“You must be Michael, I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard lots of things about you as well. Jim really loves working with you.” You said, smiling and looking at Jim lovingly. He looked down at you and returned your smile. 

“Ummm, Jim? Jim? Not to come off as insensitive or whatever, but didn’t you say she was like deaf or something. Because you speak so well for someone who can’t hear! I'm really blown away. How do you do that?” You then noticed that Kevin was holding his hand over his ear, which could only mean one thing, Michael was yelling so you could hear him. You heard Jim start to defend you before you could even process what Michael had really said.

“Michael. Come on man! Are you kidding me? I asked you to be sensitive about it. You really think that that’s-“

“Jim. It’s okay. Really it’s okay,” you put your hand on his knee, indicating that he should calm down and let you handle this, “Michael, I’m going to assume you’ve never met someone who is hard of hearing so I’m going to show you some grace and teach you. I’m not deaf. You don’t need to yell. Just speak clearly and audibly. I speak well because I’m not deaf. I’ve learned how to use other indicators in my body aside from the audial to know what my voice sounds like to others. Do you understand?” 

Michael looked at you, half embarrassed and half impressed. Everyone else around the table had gotten relatively quiet so they could listen in on what was going on at your end of the table. After another moment of awkward silence, a woman with red hair, who you could only assume was Meredith Palmer, stood up and yelled loud enough for all of Scranton to hear, “Yeah, Go Y/N! You show ‘em who’s boss!”

You laughed loudly along with everyone else as the conversations continued and raised your glass in thanks, before turning to Jim;

“See, I think I can handle myself with your coworkers. I think they kind of like me.”

He nodded in agreement before kissing your head softly, “Yeah I think you’re right about that. But you know, I’m always here for you. If you need it.”

You kissed him lightly on the lips and whispered an “I love you” before looking at Pam and swapping stories about life. Jim kept his eye on you for the rest of the night, but you were right, you didn’t need him to protect you. But he knew that he’d always be right by your side anyway, just in case.

[plainsimplevic]

Well - That’s One Way To Come Out At Work

That was surprising. At work, as I've been vehemently talking about on twitter, there's been a lot of homophobic slurs being thrown around. Just as importantly, it was communicated to me that I basically needed to step up or I'd be fired. That I was “making excuses” for not doubling my output and occasionally coming in later (sometimes too late) in the day.  This is when I've done nothing but excel at this job. In fact I've been given additional responsibility and praised by those who are hardest to please! I’ve pushed through illness after illness the past 6 months. Fought through infections so painful I could feel them through the haze caused by an entire bottle of whiskey. I’ve been here in the middle of the night vibrating because my cold is that bad. I’ve gotten SURGERY because I realized a condition was affecting my work - prioritizing that over other procedures I need done because I believe in fulfilling my commitments. Period. Whatever it takes. Be they professional, personal, or in support of my loved ones. And now my dedication, competency, and integrity are being questioned and I’m being threatened on top of all the bigotry? Those are NOT things you question about me. I’m not perfect and I fuck up but those base values are what makes me, me. Hell, my motto is Honour, Courage, Integrity!

It had gotten to the point that I've been very close to exploding, quitting, calling them the bigots they were, and storming out. I nearly did so this week after one boss was subtly (though I believe ignorantly) racist and the other was using gay slurs within half an hour.

After calming myself down, my plan was to consult with some friends this week, calm down further, get some sleep, and be professional. To put in my 2 weeks, tell them why, and use the last pitiful paycheck to put myself in a position to make money by other means.

Now, as I continued to calm down, I realized that immediately pulling the trigger on quitting was an immature way to handle the situation. As much as I wanted to, the enlightened thing to do would be to open a dialogue with my bosses and trying to resolve the situation rather than treat them as hostile. Despite the evidence, there may be more going on that I’m unaware of and they may be receptive to what I have to say. What can I say? I’m a Trekkie who grew up in the TNG era. Exhaust all opportunities for discussion before taking any action that could be taken as hostile. It may sound silly, but that show was very formative for me and the principles I learned from it have helped me well in life. #IAmStarfleet

But, after FINALLY getting some sleep last night and with one of the bosses gone on a business trip, something felt right about doing this today. I’d had some sleep so I knew my emotional control would be there and I wasn’t going to act unprofessionally. The boss had just come back from a “liquid lunch” so he was relaxed but not drunk. Having come out the day before to my straight-ally coworker had heartened me. And I was not so overloaded that I couldn’t take some time and write the 3-4 pages of talking points I needed to write before hand to keep me on track if I got flustered. So, I positioned myself so that my boss couldn’t avoid me (not that he was trying - just so he knew I needed to talk to him) and asked for a half hour one on one before he left. He agreed. It was no big issue.

Now, I’ve dealt with similar situations before. When I worked political campaigns, I was not only in a much more demanding and labor intensive positions (20+ hour days for months with no ability to take weekends off) but that boss was a total, self absorbed, jackass that continued tearing me down despite all I was doing. Nothing was good enough. So I called him and demanded a meeting. He asked when I could come in. I demanded he come to me (I was an hour and a half away). I sat him down and did then what I did today. I explained the situation and told him why there was an issue. At the next team meeting he promised to do better and afterwards gave me a big hug and thanked me. He didn’t change and was eventually replaced, but the point is that I knew that this is something I could do. But that doesn’t make it less scary. Especially since this involved something so personal that I’ve had so many issues dealing with over my life. Especially since I’ve only in the past few weeks felt comfortable enough with my sexuality to begin to talk about it with straights who are my long term friends. It surprised the heck out of me when I came out to my co-worker yesterday. #Scary.

I also had several people cautioning me not to do this. My mother was the most adamant. But also a friend who was concerned that this place was so hostile that I might just face further discrimination. For insight into my mindset, and really, just who I am, I want to quote an excerpt from my response to that.

“The bigotry, lack of respect, and lack of compensation is whats bugging me. If this convo fixes that...  Long hours I'm meh about and I enjoy the work. And that’s not judging others. That’s just who I am. I'm the guy who has the guts to face things head on. Stare the darkness in the face and dare it to extinguish my light. If I lose that, I lose everything. I cant have that with every other aspect of my life and not this now that I've accepted it.”

And for those who are going to criticize me and say that my lack of self acceptance of my sexual identity disproves that statement let me point a couple things out. 1) Bandwidth. Without going into too much detail, my life, especially the past 10 years, has been ROUGH. It’s hard to do things like process your sexuality issues when you’re doing things like working 16 hour days while a tooth rots in your head because you can’t afford to get the root canal you need because all you’re money’s going into making the choice between food and bills. Or when everyone around you, with the exception of your mother, does not seem to be, but is actually dying or abandoning you. 2) Lack of community. I’m just a man and I have my limits - sometimes I need help. By reaching out for that help, I’m proving my statements about myself true. I haven’t had anyone I could turn to and ask, “what was it like for you?”. No-one to relate to. No-one to tell me that there’s nothing wrong with me. I didn’t even have support outside the queer community dealing with every other aspect life - much less in it to deal with this. Every time I reached out the past 5 or 6 years to try to get that support, I was shut down in some way. I’ve had community members shrug and be dismissive, not understanding the traumas involved with growing up Catholic and in a homophobic setting. I’ve had people point to some reading material, pat me on the head, and send me on my merry - not truly understanding the damage 25+ years of internalized homophobia can cause. I’ve had one gal talk about bi-erasure in one breath, insist I’m straight in the other, declare how lesbians are superior to all others, and then try to get me to apologize for being a cishet man. Which, growing up primarily raised by women, having strong memories of sitting around the table as they talk about how horrible men are, being told “but you’re different” and “one of the good ones” and left feeling othered and wondering how much I should hate myself for my gender did NOT go over well. But that’s an entire blog post in it of itself and I digress.

So the time for the meeting came and I told my boss everything. I told him that he needed to quit the gay slurs. That I was bi. That I had met and was falling for the most amazing guy which had inspired me to make another attempt at confronting these issues. That the past couple months have been awesome and positive but extremely intense. That there’s been many times where I’ve held it together during the day and then just stared into my monitor for hours unable to do anything but have tears in my eyes once everyone left. That I’ve been on my laptop so much because I’m getting (and giving) support. That I’m afraid that some of my friends may end themselves and not be there tomorrow. Of all the illness I’ve been pushing through. And how, through it all, I still got the job DONE.

And the response was shocking. He was completely taken aback. He asked, “what slurs?” I gave him an example and, being total white straight male, he hadn’t even realized what he was doing. He asked if I was gay. I told him bi and he laughed and exclaimed how insensitive he’s been and immediately apologized. He lit up and exclaimed how awesome it was when I said I was falling for (again) the most amazing man (hard). He said how he has no issues with queer folk and told me of his gay friend with a similar background to me. He told me how, when he grew up, they used those terms all the time to effectively mean asshole but had no clue what they meant and that they had just become reflex - but that that was no excuse. That he had no problem not outing me to anyone else, though I’m close to being completely out. I was valued and appreciated.

And then, no joke, he asked me what I needed on my projects and the entire thing became, among other things, a pitch session and him putting many of his resources at my disposal.

Also, it turns out that the “firing” thing was because the other boss was freaking out about how a couple of business partners who were funding my salary simply didn’t like having to pay me and, for that reason alone which nothing to do with me, were looking for any excuse to “cut costs.” From my own deductions, I now realize that it’s mostly that I haven’t been putting up enough of a “show” of working on the rare occasion they’ve been around which is probably making it harder for that boss to defend me. Also, I’m 90% sure this is that guy’s first time managing someone and I know for a fact that this is his first time working in this industry and dealing with certain types of personalities - like said business partners. These are things that I have decades of experience with in one form or another so, now that I know that I know what his issues largely are, I plan on having a similar talk with him and offering my advice and support. I’ve been in that position before and watched it blow up in my face. Honestly, he’s fucking lucky it’s me and not someone else - they would have stormed out. I know. I’ve been the one stormed out on.

His main fault was not properly communicating to me how much of an issue these asshole business partners have been. I’ve been in his position many a time and now exactly how to compensate for that kind of bullshit. And because of his lack of communication, I haven’t been able to make his job easier by doing so.

I think there might be a couple of translation-to-this-industry issues as well so I’ll talk to him about that too. And, apparently, the boss I talked to has had to pull that boss aside a few times recently. Somethings going on with his personal life I feel.

So, yeah. That was probably the best coming-out-at-work experience I could have had. We’ll see if the boss I spoke to lives up to his promises but, as of now, things are looking up. I’m so glad that I haven’t been too traumatized in life that I can still hope. Maybe I’m just too stubborn an asshole to let it go. But it’s that hope that led me to try the diplomatic path. That allowed me to adhere to my values and belief that dialogue and understanding can solve nearly all situations so long as both sides listen.

And yes, those are Starfleet values. And if that’s too corny for you I have 2 things to say. 1) Read the above book-of-a-blog again and tell me how I’m wrong when EVERYONE else (except Mom) was telling me that the only solution was to quit in a righteous rage. 2) Fuck off you ignorant, pessimistic, little shit. #IAmStarfleet #FirstDutyToTheTruth #TrekTillIDie

I may still leave here soon for various other reasons, but now, rather than making enemies here I’ll leave with (assuming words meet deeds - which evidence so far here as indicated these are the kind of people where that’ll be the case) A) the use of these facilities for my own projects, B) plenty of time to prepare, and C) a financial cushion to aid in the transition.

Thanks to Danni, Alex, and Kaeden who’s support and affections have been crucial in helping me get to the point where I’m secure enough in my identity that I can tackle issues like this. Thank you for being my community.

[mental-kombat]

Exploring Poly

     I honestly didn’t think I’d have two posts in as many days but here we are!      So, the woman I mentioned in my previous post is coming over this afternoon. I’m so freakin’ stoked I cannot even. I know, I know, social distancing. TBH, I don’t see anyone but my coworkers, and I won’t begin to tell you how many of them have no respect for rules or even normal personal space. In either case, I’m not going to defend my actions against no one, just know that I am still taking everything seriously.      Anyways, when we first started talking she had mentioned that regardless of our relationship, she intended to be able to live polyamorously. Not in so cruel a manner, but merely noting that I had listed myself as monogamous and she wanted me to be aware. It’s been a topic of a lot of conversation, especially because I really like her, so it’s important to me that I understand it. As well, it helps ease my mind, knowing her viewpoints on the matter. They seem healthy. She has at least one “play” partner (we’re both into kink as well), and has been talking to others, and to date, none of that has really phased me.      So, we’ve had a lot of really important and open and honest conversations, and it’s helped to shift my view (through no effort on her part, she didn’t try to push it on me or win me over, just explained how she saw things). I never imagined I could do anything near a polyamorous lifestyle. Now it seems like, as long as I’ve got wonderful, communicative partners, I could absolutely live like this. I’ve also been trying to read “The Ethical Slut”, but work being what it is, I haven’t made it very far.      I’m mostly writing this as a way to get my thoughts in order, because I do want to talk to her about this some more tonight. I want to tell her where I am with this whole experience, and what I want out of it. I apologize if I’m insensitive/looking at things from the wrong perspective, if that makes sense, in the following paragraphs. It’s more or less a summation of what I’ve learned thus far.

     One of my biggest fears, once I’ve been in a relationship, has always been, catching feelings for someone else. What do you do about that? Nothing. It’s awful. I’m faithful to my partners to a fault, so I’ve never strayed, but it always sucks when you have that kind of connection with someone else and cannot explore it. Admittedly, I’ve yearned for others and wondered what could be, but with nothing to do it just kinda sucks a lot. In this respect, I absolutely understand poly. The love I have for one being does not detract from the love I have for another. See: Current Family and Friends. I’d like the ability to try those connections to see if they become more or less powerful. Is it just a passing fancy or is this person really the bees knees?      As well, once you are in a monogamous relationship, that’s it. Nothing else. Don’t get me wrong, I CRAVE a long term partner(s?), but it does make me sad, especially as someone who identifies as pansexual. Especially especially since I haven’t ever been able to FULLY explore what life would be like with the same sex. I won’t lie, I definitely prefer women, but, part of my achingly queer heart just wants a sweet guy to cuddle up with too. Participating in ethical-nonmongomy affords me the chance to explore that part of me, safely, and without fear of losing/upsetting my other partner(s) (assuming that I’ve done a good job with communicating to them, of course).      The following should be no surprise either, it is in my header for this site, but I’m kinda, sorta a little depraved. Again, not in a harmful way, I don’t think. I just have a lot of things I’d love, and some others to try and explore. I wouldn’t ever say I’m promiscuous. I’d say I’m the antonym of that, whatever it is. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I absolutely need some sort of strong connection to be able to do anything with them. However, I would not mind having several different, concurrent partners that I regularly enjoy. It’s a fine line, to be sure. Being poly isn’t about solely about sex, especially for me. I NEED that connection to exist, and so having the ability to make those connections more freely is nice. What I mean is that, while I was practicing monogamy, if I wanted to have sex, I’d have to have a partner. I couldn’t just bone down on whoever was near me. Said partner would ALSO have to be into ALL the things I’m into, and that just isn’t a thing. Well, it is, but it’s rare, haha. It also works the other way. There are some things I’m definitely not into, and I wouldn’t be able to deliver for some people. I’d hate it if one of my desires went continually unfulfilled, so I absolutely understand having partners with different tastes, so to speak. Again, not like a, “collect them all, fill every niche” kinda deal, but I think you understand what I’m saying.      Finally, I’ve had several situations where I’ve lived communally. While it has been mostly with friends, I’ve seen it go well, and I’ve seen it fail miserably. Regardless, even if this never is a thing, though, I love the idea of my friends and family living togetherish. Having a tangible support group for when things get rough. Because that’s what being human is, right? Building connections? We are all strong individuals but together we are a FORCE?     We have a lot to catch up on tonight, and I am so looking forward to having more open conversations with her. I really, really like her, and it’s kinda scary. She is the first person I’ve dated since my ex, so I’m worried that I’m falling too hard for that reason? She doesn’t give me any reason not to fall for her though. Very intelligent, empathetic, kind, she loves games and puzzles. Just a big ‘ol nerd and damnit if that isn’t my weakness. Cute as hell too. More importantly, with the adoption of her lifestyle, I don’t feel as “trapped” by my decision to express my affection, if that makes sense?

[plainsimplevic]

Well - That’s One Way To Come Out At Work...

That was surprising. At work, as I've been vehemently talking about on twitter, there's been a lot of homophobic slurs being thrown around. Just as importantly, it was communicated to me that I basically needed to step up or I'd be fired. That I was “making excuses” for not doubling my output and occasionally coming in later (sometimes too late) in the day.  This is when I've done nothing but excel at this job. In fact I've been given additional responsibility and praised by those who are hardest to please! I’ve pushed through illness after illness the past 6 months. Fought through infections so painful I could feel them through the haze caused by an entire bottle of whiskey. I’ve been here in the middle of the night vibrating because my cold is that bad. I’ve gotten SURGERY because I realized a condition was affecting my work - prioritizing that over other procedures I need done because I believe in fulfilling my commitments. Period. Whatever it takes. Be they professional, personal, or in support of my loved ones. And now my dedication, competency, and integrity are being questioned and I’m being threatened on top of all the bigotry? Those are NOT things you question about me. I’m not perfect and I fuck up but those base values are what makes me, me. Hell, my motto is Honour, Courage, Integrity!

It had gotten to the point that I've been very close to exploding, quitting, calling them the bigots they were, and storming out. I nearly did so this week after one boss was subtly (though I believe ignorantly) racist and the other was using gay slurs within half an hour.

After calming myself down, my plan was to consult with some friends this week, calm down further, get some sleep, and be professional. To put in my 2 weeks, tell them why, and use the last pitiful paycheck to put myself in a position to make money by other means.

Now, as I continued to calm down, I realized that immediately pulling the trigger on quitting was an immature way to handle the situation. As much as I wanted to, the enlightened thing to do would be to open a dialogue with my bosses and trying to resolve the situation rather than treat them as hostile. Despite the evidence, there may be more going on that I’m unaware of and they may be receptive to what I have to say. What can I say? I’m a Trekkie who grew up in the TNG era. Exhaust all opportunities for discussion before taking any action that could be taken as hostile. It may sound silly, but that show was very formative for me and the principles I learned from it have helped me well in life. #IAmStarfleet

But, after FINALLY getting some sleep last night and with one of the bosses gone on a business trip, something felt right about doing this today. I’d had some sleep so I knew my emotional control would be there and I wasn’t going to act unprofessionally. The boss had just come back from a “liquid lunch” so he was relaxed but not drunk. Having come out the day before to my straight-ally coworker had heartened me. And I was not so overloaded that I couldn’t take some time and write the 3-4 pages of talking points I needed to write before hand to keep me on track if I got flustered. So, I positioned myself so that my boss couldn’t avoid me (not that he was trying - just so he knew I needed to talk to him) and asked for a half hour one on one before he left. He agreed. It was no big issue.

Now, I’ve dealt with similar situations before. When I worked political campaigns, I was not only in a much more demanding and labor intensive positions (20+ hour days for months with no ability to take weekends off) but that boss was a total, self absorbed, jackass that continued tearing me down despite all I was doing. Nothing was good enough. So I called him and demanded a meeting. He asked when I could come in. I demanded he come to me (I was an hour and a half away). I sat him down and did then what I did today. I explained the situation and told him why there was an issue. At the next team meeting he promised to do better and afterwards gave me a big hug and thanked me. He didn’t change and was eventually replaced, but the point is that I knew that this is something I could do. But that doesn’t make it less scary. Especially since this involved something so personal that I’ve had so many issues dealing with over my life. Especially since I’ve only in the past few weeks felt comfortable enough with my sexuality to begin to talk about it with straights who are my long term friends. It surprised the heck out of me when I came out to my co-worker yesterday. #Scary.

I also had several people cautioning me not to do this. My mother was the most adamant. But also a friend who was concerned that this place was so hostile that I might just face further discrimination. For insight into my mindset, and really, just who I am, I want to quote an excerpt from my response to that.

“The bigotry, lack of respect, and lack of compensation is whats bugging me. If this convo fixes that...  Long hours I'm meh about and I enjoy the work. And that’s not judging others. That’s just who I am. I'm the guy who has the guts to face things head on. Stare the darkness in the face and dare it to extinguish my light. If I lose that, I lose everything. I cant have that with every other aspect of my life and not this now that I've accepted it.”

And for those who are going to criticize me and say that my lack of self acceptance of my sexual identity disproves that statement let me point a couple things out. 1) Bandwidth. Without going into too much detail, my life, especially the past 10 years, has been ROUGH. It’s hard to do things like process your sexuality issues when you’re doing things like working 16 hour days while a tooth rots in your head because you can’t afford to get the root canal you need because all you’re money’s going into making the choice between food and bills. Or when everyone around you, with the exception of your mother, does not seems to be but is actually dying or abandoning you. 2) Lack of community. I’m just a man and I have my limits - sometimes I need help. By reaching out for that help, I’m proving my statements about myself true. I haven’t had anyone I could turn to and ask, “what was it like for you?”. No-one to relate to. No-one to tell me that there’s nothing wrong with me. I didn’t even have support outside the queer community - much less in it. Every time I reached out the past 5 or 6 years to try to get that support, I was shut down in some way. I community members shrug and be dismissive, not understand the traumas involved with growing up Catholic and in a homophobic setting. I had people point to some reading material, pat me on the head, and send me on my merry - not truly understanding the damage 25+ years of internalized homophobia can cause. I had one gal talk about bi-erasure in one breath, insist I’m straight in the other, declare how lesbians are superior to all others, and then try to get my to apologize for being a cishet man. Which, growing up primarily raised by women, having strong memories of sitting around the table as they talk about how horrible men are, and wondering how much I should hate myself for my gender did NOT go over well. But I digress.

So the time for the meeting came and I told my boss everything. I told him that he needed to quit the gay slurs. That I was bi. That I had met and was falling for the most amazing guy which had inspired me to make another attempt at confronting these issues. That the past couple months have been awesome and positive but extremely intense. That there’s been many times where I’ve held it together and then just stared into my monitor for hours unable to do anything but have tears in my eyes. That I’ve been on my laptop so much because I’m getting (and giving) support. That I’m afraid that some of my friends may end themselves and not be there tomorrow. Of all the illness I’ve been pushing through. And how, through it all, I still got the job DONE.

And the response was shocking. He was completely taken aback. He asked, “what slurs?” I gave him an example and he asked if I was gay. I told him bi and he laughed and exclaimed how insensitive he’s been and immediately apologized. He lit up and exclaimed how awesome it was when I said I was falling for (again) the most amazing man (hard). He said how he has no issues with queer folk and told me of his gay friend with a similar background to me. He told me how, when he grew up, they used those terms all the time to effectively mean asshole but had no clue what they meant and that they had just become reflex - but that was no excuse. That I was valued and appreciated.

And then, no joke, he asked me what I needed on my projects and the entire thing became, among other things a pitch session and him putting many of his resources at my disposal.

Also, it turns out that the “firing” thing was because the other boss was freaking out about how a couple of business partners who were funding my salary simply didn’t like having to pay me and, for that reason alone which nothing to do with me, were looking for any excuse to “cut costs.” From my own deductions, I now realize that it’s mostly that I haven’t been putting up enough of a “show” of working on the rare occasion they’ve been around which is probably making it harder for that boss to defend me. Also, I’m 90% sure this is that guy’s first time managing someone and I know for a fact that this is his first time working in this industry and dealing with certain types of personalities - like said business partners. These are things that I have decades of experience with in one for or another so, now that I know that I know what his issues largely are, I plan on having a similar talk with him and advise/support him. I’ve been in that position before and watched it blow up in my face. Honestly, he’s fucking lucky it’s me and not someone else - they would have stormed out. I know. I’ve been the one stormed out on.

I think there might be a couple of translation-to-this-industry issues as well so I’ll talk to him about that too. And, apparently, the boss I talked to has had to pull that boss aside a few times recently.

So, yeah. That was probably the best coming-out-at-work experience I could have had. We’ll see if the boss I spoke to lives up to his promises but, as of now, things are looking up. I’m so glad that I haven’t been too traumatized in life that I can still hope. Maybe I’m just too stubborn an asshole to let it go. But it’s that hope that led me to try the diplomatic path. That allowed me to adhere to my values and belief that dialogue and understanding can solve nearly all situations so long as both sides listen.

And yes, those are Starfleet values. And if that’s too corny for you I have 2 things to say. 1) Read the above book-of-a-blog again and tell me how I’m wrong when EVERYONE else (except Mom) was telling me that the only solution was to quit in a righteous rage. 2) Fuck off you ignorant, pessimistic, little shit. #IAmStarfleet #FirstDutyToTheTruth #TrekTillIDie

I may still leave here soon for various other reasons, but now, rather than making enemies here I’ll leave with (assuming words meet deeds - which evidence so far here as indicated) A) the use of these facilities for my own projects, B) plenty of time to prepare, and C) A financial cushion to aid in the transition.

Thanks to Danni, Alex, and Kaeden who’s support and affections have been crucial in helping me get to the point where I’m secure enough in my identity that I can tackle issues like this. Thank you for being my community.