#and letting me know the school is closed the NIGHT before. very considerate for me and my clients.

[organicmatter]

so glad i am almost out of tattoo school. this place is so unoragnized it is going to give me a migraine. since i have started here in september i have had VERY little to no instruction for literally anything. been teaching myself or learning from classmates or online tutorials. insane that i had to pay lots of money for this but i need a license.

[wordsinhaled]

it was really only a matter of time until edwardian payneland happened and what if i channeled maurice about it. just a little

-

Charles is the son of the groundskeeper at St. Hilarion's School for Boys while Edwin is a pupil there. And he can't help but notice Edwin—how he’s nearly always alone, or else being harangued by the cruel older boys who call themselves his peers.

Charles privately thinks they hardly seem equal to him in poise or grace or manner. They are boisterous, brash, crass, violent, all overlaid with a veneer of false propriety, but Charles can see the cracks in it. He knows that sort by how they are inside, and they cannot be like Edwin at all. No, Edwin Paine's got a sad, drawn sort of look about him that Charles can't help recognizing. This lonely boy who feels somehow kindred in a way he can't put a finger on, but is pulled to him all the same, though by rights he'd do better to keep his distance.

Edwin often sits by the lake by himself, to read, or to do his assignments in the shade of the trees. Picturesque as a painting, he is. One day Charles dares to approach him, though he knows the risk in it—prepared to be rebuffed, rebuked for his untoward attention to someone he is meant to ignore; but the boy does not turn him away.

And so they become friends. Tentative, and then less and less so.

Together they explore the school's sprawling grounds, all of whose surprising hiding-places Charles Rowland knows by heart, having wandered them himself for years and made them his own refuge. The woods become theirs; the shore by the lake theirs; the shade of the trees theirs. The attic, where no one comes to look for them in the dead of night, also theirs.

And then one day Charles notices a group of boys surrounding Edwin. The usual cadre, and they're posturing, their voices loud in the autumn air. They’ve ripped Edwin's penny magazine from his grip and are tearing pages out of it, scattering them to be plucked up by the wind. Charles can do nothing else but step in. He shouts at them to back off, puts himself between them and Edwin, and gets himself thrashed for his trouble—but they, at least, finally leave Edwin alone.

Edwin, for his part, cannot believe Charles would be so reckless for his sake. Charles has not yet mentioned to him that he is used to this sort of treatment, and sees worse at home. They sit together in the boathouse by the lake, cross-legged, close enough for Edwin to dab carefully at Charles’ split lip and bleeding knuckles.

“You should not have done that for me,” he chides, though it carries no heat. “What will happen now?” He thinks word is sure to get back to the school, and there will be a scandal. Those boys, who so vocally despise Edwin, will hardly be quiet in their outrage, their humiliation. Charles’ father might be relieved of his post, and then Charles’ family will have to leave St. Hilarion’s. That is how these things go.

And what was it all for? For Edwin? How could it have been worth it?

“Doesn’t matter, does it?" Charles is saying, when Edwin surfaces from his troubled thoughts. "Couldn’t let them treat you like that. They had you five to one. And that, just ‘cause you’re different. I know how it is.” Charles’ eyelashes are very long, and the light turns his eyes a warm, deep amber as he talks fiercely, insistently, in defense of Edwin.

It’s terribly forward, Edwin thinks. And, despite every misgiving, he welcomes it. No one has ever fought for Edwin before. No one has ever spoken about him with such conviction.

Then Charles seems to lapse into pensiveness. “You didn’t have to…” he says softly. "All this." He gestures, with the free hand Edwin isn’t busy wrapping up, at the little bottle of antiseptic, the scissors, the roll of bandages and the cloths, all spread out on the floorboards between them.

“Of course I did,” Edwin says.

Really, he had not given it much consideration. He had had only the presence of mind to memorize the sight of Charles kneeling in the dew-damp grass, angry gaze still spitting fire at the backs of Edwin’s retreating bullies. He’d had blood in his bared teeth, and the briefest flash of desire had seared through Edwin—to kiss him. Merely in thanks, perhaps, but still, to kiss him.

He would know the warmth of Charles’ mouth. Fleeting, forbidden, it would sear itself into his mind for ever.

Of course, he had done no such thing; for he could not. Instead, he’d done the only thing he could do—bent low towards Charles, and squeezed his shoulder once, as if to say, Wait here for me. I will come back to you.

And as he'd turned on his heel and gone off in the direction of the infirmary, leaving Charles there with dusk encroaching, Edwin had hoped Charles understood his gesture for the indelible promise it was.

[tinytennisskirt]

TINYTENNISSKIRT PERSONAL FAVES & PERSONAL SUMMARIES (CHALLENGERS)

summarizing my favourite fics that I've written so maybe if you haven't read them, you find reason to. Not in any specific order.

More Than Anything- Art Donaldson

I love this one a lot personally. It was a request and although I had to stretch to make ends meet, I am a huge fan of friends to lovers. I love childhood best friend! Art so much. He's a cutie. But thats what this is, childhood best friends to lovers but the platonic doesn't change. It just alters. The miscommunication, the misunderstanding of Patrick's words to reader are hurtful and they change things but Art fixes it and brings it all back together? I was already in love. It's worse. A kiss ending with a HUG ending is a weakness for sure.

Cottage Culture- Art Donaldson

It's an Art fic but it definitely doesn't lack Patrick. I love the dynamic I wrote for reader and the boys- its very established that they are long time friends and are very comfortable with each other. There's a lot of casual touching which means a lot to me. I love it. But Art who has feelings ugh love him for it. It's that thing with the trio where the connection between reader and Art is just a little bit more intimate in the ways that matter. Just a hint, but it makes so much difference. Plus a kiss in the water? Need. This fic takes place at a cottage away from the world and takes place over the course of a few days, so there's so many instances of attraction and so many POVS. It's also very summery so if you're feeling like a cottage getaway with your two fav challengers boys, this is perfect.

Let It Linger- Art Donaldson

I think I'm probably most proud of this fic. It took forever to write and I actually gave up twice, but it got completed. It's like an AU of the movie itself, but it bounces back and forth like a tennis ball on a court from Art's time at MRTA to post-canon divorced! Art who is searching for his old best friend at their 15 year high school reunion. I really really love this one because it's very friendship and yearning oriented. How close reader and Art get to being together before they fall out and into no contact for fifteen years but he sees her again and talking to her again feels like no time has passed? Finding out that fifteen years ago, reader liked him too? I really like writing super non-romantic romantic scenes like the simple things and the simple conversations between reader and Art that are so specifically somehow intimate though they're trying to make it feel like it's not. It's friends to lovers but in a way that isn't exactly satisfied. It's honestly so fucking good, I loveeee this one.

Sweetheart- Patrick Zweig

an AU where Patrick is a girl dad is just the perfect universe. He's a single dad in a cluttered house with an absolute angel genius of a daughter and reader is considerably younger than him. She's twenty, he's nearing forty. It's not inherently romantic at first, it's just banter, but he's soooo dirty. He can't help but think about her in a way that isn't exactly holy. And she's got some semi-innocent crush on him. He goes on dates but every night he comes home and has his little bits of banter with her and things get increasingly harder to manage over time. He might actually like her which is crazy, but I never specifically wrote that he does like her in any way that isn't sexual because I wanted the reader to kind of be in the not-knowing because why would anyone expect his character in this to be ACTUALLY into the twenty-year-old babysitter? This one is a smut and it's honestly really tasty and rough, but the ending is what is supposed to get you like 'ah, I see. feelings.'

Best Friend Patrick Zweig who is Totally Not In Love With You

This was my second headcanons list and I somehow ended up giving it a plot, so it's not just headcanons. It's a list of things Patrick does as your best friend who has feelings for you. The list format is loose, it's a headcanon and then it's like... written dialogue underneath the headcanon to explain it so it's more engaging. I really enjoyed tapping into my autism like 'yeah, he'd do that'. It's got all the good stuff like some jealousy, some quiet yearning, He's repressing his feelings which I love because it's so him. He and reader have a good dynamic and it's NOT ONLY x reader but it's also NOT ONLY headcanons. It's a good mix!!!

Those Three Words- Patrick Zweig

I'm honestly a little unreasonably obsessed with this one. It was such a small but well-written request I just HAD TO make it extra. I honestly never really plan out the way my fics go other than knowing the basics. But the aspects are always just as I go. Patrick going from a player to set on ONE girl for the first time in his life is wild and crazy and he likes her and gets her number but they're friends for months before they start dating. Reader becomes one of his best friends and it's lovely and fun and he's so into her. Surprisingly so. Like even takes him by surprise but it's so fun to write Patrick who is actually IN LOVE for the first time WHAT SO CRAZY. I love domestic life kinds of romance and yeah he says I love you so soon, but he means it. And he gets a bit of a monologue and it's funny and he's soft with her which I love and adore.

Just some behind the scenes thoughts. All fics are linked at their titles! Also just a sly little reminder that I LOVEEEEE comments. Your thoughts and feedback mean the world to me. Also, requests are open always <3333

[daisyvisions]

[9:51PM] Change of Plan - (c.ch)

Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), dom!reader x sub!Chanhee, handjob, edging, begging, handcuffs, humiliation, blackmailing (but it will never go public), mentions of attempted manipulation, panty stealing, perverted tendencies, cum eating, allusions to more sexual acts, pet name (good boy), Word count: 0.8K

A/N: Part 2 to this fic! (sorry for the wait to those who were asking for it huhu) I was having a hard time trying to find the right tone for the second part of the story but here we are! Another timestamp for y’all hehe proofread once! Tagging @deoboyznet @aimeecarreros @snowflakewhispers @winterchimez

Chanhee couldn't believe it. To be here with you in this moment almost exactly how he wanted it to be, the way he’s thought about you like this in his late-night fantasies is finally coming true. He has you where he wanted you to be, his plan actually worked!

Well… sort of.

The one thing he did not consider was that he’d be completely chained up to his bedpost, unable to touch you the way he wanted to.

It was totally unexpected really, how both of you would end up in this situation. Chanhee stuck handcuffed to his bed while you continuously tease and edge him for the nth time tonight. Tears running down his cheeks as he begs you to just let him reach his high.

But little did he know while he was concocting his plan to have you as his that he was playing with the wrong person. In fact, you might’ve been even freakier than he was (but he didn't need to know that right now).

“Please let me touch you, I promise I’ll be good.” He cries out. You chuckle in response as you continue fisting his length.

“I highly doubt that.” Chanhee whimpers as you tighten your grip on him.

“Isn’t this what you wanted Chanhee? Isn't this what you’ve been planning all along?” You raise an eyebrow at him. “So be a good boy and take what I give you!”

That last statement definitely got his cock throbbing in your hands. You being a dominant was definitely something he did not expect but here he is, turning into a mess because of it.

This was not the plan at all! The plan was to spread rumors around campus on how heartbroken he was when you rejected him, eventually everyone at school would make you feel bad about it, you’d say sorry and start over, become friends, throw a grand party at his place, and finally get you loosened up enough to want to have some more fun with him.

The plan was going smoothly, nothing out of the ordinary whatsoever! But one thing Chanhee failed to take into consideration was holding back his perverted tendencies with you, especially when he would secretly steal your panties and bring them home with him.

That is how you discovered his ulterior motives to your so-called “friendship” as you wandered around his room and eventually found your missing underwear in his not-so-secret drawer full of other erotic items… Which is how Chanhee ended up being chained to the bed by his own handcuffs.

He should’ve known your sudden advances towards him when he came back to the room were suspicious. But no, he only thought with his dick in that moment.

The feeling of your body pressed against his as you made him get close to his headboard, pinning his hands above his head while kissing his neck. And before he knew it he heard the clinking sound of metal and the cold material wrapped around his wrists.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum, Please let me cum!” He whines as he continues to struggle in place. You take a while to respond, his eyes pleading for you to let him release his load but instead of a “yes” you pull out your phone.

“W-what are you doing?!” Chanhee’s eyes grow big.

“If you wanna cum, admit that you’re a little pervert for stealing my panties.”

“Never!” He protests.

“But don’t you wanna cum already? It’s very simple.” You smile as you continue to jerk him off vigorously, pointing the camera in his direction.

Chanhee’s still hesitant, but if he doesn’t say anything his balls might just explode.

“Alright fine!” He lets out a big sigh. “I’m- I’m a pervert and I stole your underwear!”

“Ooh such a good boy!” You coo at him. “Alright you can cum.”

As soon as you give him permission his load started spilling in globs, most of it landing on your hand and on his stomach. You’ve never seen someone cum this much, especially because you were the reason for it. You inspect his release on your hand, mesmerized by how it looked under the low light. The sight alone made your core throb harder than you cared to admit.

“Hey uh…” Chanhee mumbles, making you look back at him. “Can you unlock me now? My wrists are starting to hurt.” He shakes the handcuffs as he says this. You don’t respond for a while, a sudden idea coming to mind as you smirk back at him.

“I’ll only let you go if… you give me another load.” You lick your hand coated in his essence before climbing on top of him, opening his jaw and spitting in his mouth.

“Fuck-” Chanhee hisses, feeling his cock kicking again by how turned on he is right now.

“Our little secret okay?” You look into his eyes as he just nods in return.

Guess Chanhee did get what he wanted after all, but better than he could ever imagine.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

r/relationship advice: u/bunnydad920

TLDR: My brother's boyfriend is cheating with their best friend and I don't know if I should tell my brother or not (because I don't know who is the boyfriend and who is the best friend)

My brother, X(32M), is the kindest, warmest, and brightest person I know, and he deserves the very best. Growing up, X had 2 friends. M(32M) was the son of a family friend who grew up with my brother. Then, in high school, they had Y (32M) join them. They have been inseparable so far. They work in similar fields. Brother gets boxing lessons from X, and he also teaches Y to play piano. So they spend considerable time outside of work with each other. I myself have never noticed anything out of the ordinary, but I will be the first one to admit that I am not the most observing man on the planet.

The first thing that I remember was odd was last year. I just got recently married, and I was showing our old family photo albums to my husband. In the background of one old photo from my brother's university days, there was a young man standing with his face hidden in the shadows and only his bare upper body visible. Brother was very quick to recognise him as M. When we were in bed, my husband joked that brother must be really close to M to recognise him just by his abs!

Then, recently, we were having a discussion about chicken pox and how we all seem to have it. Brother mentioned in the passing that Y was the only person he knew who never had chicken pox. My husband jokingly said he thought he remembered Y having chicken pox and passing it to a cousin of his. At least, that's what the cousin complained of. (Y has complicated family relationships). Well, brother was adamant that Y never had chicken pox. He said he had seen Y's body, and he definitely has no scar of chicken pox. My husband quickly caught my eyes before changing the subject.

My husband and I believe brother is dating one of his best friends. I think it's M, but my husband bets his last 5 cents that he is dating Y. But that is not the issue. Brother can come out when he is comfortable. Our family is pretty progressive, so there is nothing to worry from that side.

Here's the problem, though. I took my husband to a nightclub last night, and we saw M and Y in the parking lot, in a parked car, kissing very passionately. They did not see us. I think we should talk to my brother and let him know that, well, either M or Y is cheating on him, with his best friend none the less. But my husband is arguing that we don't even know for sure if brother is actually dating one of them. I am so confused. This is not a discussion I want to have with him, not 2 days before the new year! Please advise.

Edit: We have come to an agreement that brother deserves to know. We will talk to him tomorrow.

Edit 2: Okay, so brother already knows about them. And that's how I came to know about poly relationships. I can't even pretend to understand how that works, but it is working for them? So, I guess that's that. Thanks for all your kind words and support.

Edit 3: To the person who has been incessantly dm-ing me about starting a poly relationship with me and my husband, the answer is no! Never in a thousand years! If you even raise your eyes to look at my husband, I am coming for your life!

I am de-activating this account to avoid further harassment.

[herofics]

Could you write something abt Toji (JJK) and his lover (female early 20s) cuddling you can add anything you want❤️ I just want an loving and intimate moment between them🥹😌

A/N: Decided to do a scenario for this, I’m procrastinating to avoid my school assignments lol. I really need to go to sleep so I apologize if this is nonsense, but I think it ended up being okay

You’d had a long day at work again, and you were exhausted. Toji hadn’t been home for a couple of days and as usual, he didn’t let you know how long he would be away. You weren’t really sure he himself knew when he would even come back, but it would be nice to hear from him. At least to know that he wasn’t dead in a ditch somewhere, not that that was really a concern, he was very rarely even injured on his jobs.

You were dragging your feet, not wanting to go home to an empty apartment. At least you had leftovers from last night’s take out, so you had something to eat when you got home.

When your home finally came into view, you noticed there were lights on in the apartment. You had been in a hurry in the morning, but it was very rare for you to forget to turn off the lights. You just sighed, the thought of Toji being back not even crossing your mind. You just climbed up the stairs to the second floor and entered your apartment with a yawn.

You noticed a pair of familiar, big shoes in the hall, and a smile spread across your face. He was back.

“Toji?” you called out, just to make sure.

“I‘m here, princess” a voice came from the living room.

You suddenly found yourself feeling a lot less tired than before. You quickly kicked off your shoes and hung up your jacket, before making your way to the living room. Toji was sitting on the couch, a can of beer on the coffee table in front of him. In addition to the beer can, there was an empty box on the table that used to have your leftovers in it.

“You ate my food” you stated as you placed your hands on his shoulders while standing behind him.

“Yeah, I was starvin” Toji said, leaning his head back to look at you. “But there’s more in the fridge”

“Oh? Well aren’t you considerate” you said with a smirk and kissed him on the forehead, before making your way to the fridge.

After you were done eating, you basically glued yourself to Toji’s side on the couch. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you started watching a movie. Not even thirty minutes after you’d started the movie, you were already feeling sleepy. That particular work day had really taken everything out of you.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed, I’m really tired” you yawned.

“I think I’ll join you” Toji said, stretching as he got up from the couch.

You walked to the bedroom, throwing all your clothes on the floor aside from your panties, before grabbing one of Toji’s t-shirts from the closet and throwing it on. He followed your example of throwing his clothes into a pile on the floor, aside from his underwear. You both went to brush your teeth, but you stopped on your tracks when he turned his back on you to leave the bathroom.

“You should tell me when you get hurt” you said shakily from behind him.

“It’s just a scratch, don’t worry about it” Toji said, rubbing the back of his neck as he stopped walking.

“It doesn’t look like scratch, more like it might need stitches” you carefully place your hand on his left shoulder blade, where a big gash now decorated his skin. It was almost as long as your hand.

“I’m fine princess, I promise” Toji sighed, turning around and taking your hand. “We were supposed to go to bed, remember?”

“Yeah, I know, but you can’t fault me for worrying” you sighed.

Toji pulled you along and you settled into bed, where you snuggled up next to him. He could still see that your eyes were filled with worry and that you were upset he hadn’t told you.

“Hey, my heart’s still beatin ain’t it?” Toji said, grabbing your hand and placing it on his chest.

You closed your eyes for a moment, just focusing on feeling his heartbeat under your palm. It was there, as strong and steady as always.

“Yeah, it is” you muttered.

Toji caressed your shoulder as you laid on your side, facing him.

“You got nothin to worry about princess, I ain’t goin nowhere” he said and pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“I know, but I’d still like to know if you get hurt. I can help you with that at least you know” you said as you drew circles on his chest with your finger.

“I’ll make sure to tell you about every scrape I get from now on” Toji smirked.

“Good” you smiled and pulled him closer.

You kissed the corner of his mouth, where his scar was, before whispering: “Sweet dreams, lover boy” and cuddling to his chest.

“Sweet dreams indeed” Toji muttered, as he settled next to you on the bed, holding you close.

[roadkillremi]

I'm not sure if you're taking requests rn but if you are i have one for randy. can you do one where the group is sitting at the fountain and stu keeps making fun of randy for something and he gets insecure and reader comforts him after?

I am! Thank you for being considerate! Of course! Soft boy Randy is so cute. (It's a bit short sorry)

Not Perfectly Perfect

Randy Meeks X Gn! Reader

MasterList

Warnings : language, mentions Sex, mentions "gay cancer" (Aids), Mentions humping a pillow, Mentions Billy's mom leaving.

Summary : The ask above, but pre-established relationship with Randy.

Randy rested his head on your shoulder while you tried to steal Tatum's chips. He hasn't been sleeping well and been dozing off all day. His arms lazily wrapped around your hips. Despite the hot weather you stayed still for him letting him cuddle you. You took more of Tatum's chips, she smacked your hand.

"You're as bad as Randy!" Tatum fussed, you gasped playfully. Eating one of the chips you stole, you grabbed the other and held it close to Randy.

"Want a chip, baby?" You whispered softly. He kept his eyes closed and opened his mouth for the chip. You fed him the chip and went back to teasing Tatum.

"Listen, I love your.. style but what about something else like..."

"I'm not interested in wearing a tight skirt that's denim-" you gave Tatum a playful look. She smirked, "I bet Randy would enjoy it.". Randy grunted, you rolled your eyes, Sidney sat down by Tatum.

"Is Randy okay?" She asked, opening a ziplock of food. You rubbed his arm softly, "Yeah he's just tired, maybe if he didn't watch movies all night. Or call me at 3am!" You teased. Randy again grunted digging his face deeper into your shoulder. Stu and Billy soon walked out joining their girlfriends.

"What's up with the, nerd?" Stu asked.

"He didn't Sleep well." Tatum said before kissing Stus cheek. Stu scoffed, "Probably from masturbating all night..".

"Seriously?!" You snapped at Stu. He smiled, "What?! We all do it!". You rolled your eyes, "You're disgusting." You added.

"Yeah Stu they haven't had sex yet." Billy smirked. Sidney gave Billy a look, you rolled your eyes.

"You two are sick!" You yelled. Randy huffed sitting up, "He's alive!" Stu laughed mocking Frankenstein.

"Thanks dipshits" Randy mumbled. Stu smiled proudly at him. Randy pulled you closer to him as a shield from them. Billy tilted his head towards Randy.

"Why haven't you two had sex?" Billy asked.

"Billy come on..." Sidney whispered. You took a deep breath, "Just hasn't been the right time yet.".

"Or is it cause he has a small penis?" Stu asked. Randy huffed, "Stu!" Tatum yelled.

"We were all thinking it!" He yelled. Billy leaned towards leaning on his knees.

"Randy are you scared?"

"I'm not scared, moron." Randy said giving him a look. Billy smirked, "Uh-huh.".

"I bet he has the gay cancer!" Stu laughed.

"Stu stop!" Tatum hit his arm. You huffed, "That's so idiotic! There's no such thing as Gay cancer Nimrod!".

"Ooo someone's mad!" Stu giggled.

"Randy do you still hump your pillow like a small mut of a dog?" Billy asked tilting his head.

"No, Loomis! Listen I stop reflecting your mommy issues on to me, okay? It's not very attractive." Randy smiled. Billy got up grabbing Randy by the collar of his shirt.

"Billy let him go."

"No no. He wants to act like a bitch so I'll treat him like one." Billy pulled Randy closer to his face.

"You're a fuckrag Billy Loomis! No wonder your mother left you-" you spat walking after Randy. You looked through the halls for Randy. You went into the library finding him sitting in an book aisle.

"Listen, Meeks I'm tired of your little shit. You're to small skinny to do anything. Always have to have your partner stand up for you, it's pathetic. You're pathetic. I'll beat your ass and you know I will. You're too insecure to have sex, scared you won't please them? Hm?" Billy smiled to himself dropping Randy. Randy stomped into the school, Stu laughed high fiving Billy. You stood up grabbing your bookbag and Randy's bag.

"Hey, Randy." You sat beside him. You kissed his cheek, "Don't listen to Billy, okay?".

"He just pisses me off-" he mumbled. You nodded, "I know. But hes wrong. We haven't had sex because I'm too scared, you know this.". You leaned your head on Randy's shoulder.

"I kinda said no wonder his mom left him so we're not safe back out there." You awkwardly laughed. Randy wrapped his arm around you, "Thanks.".

"There's no reason to thank me." You whispered. You wrapped your arms around his torso.

"i can always beat up, Billy for you." You smiled. Randy smiled back, "Okay, tell me how that goes.".

"But seriously, he's a dick. Both of them are. I understand why you're upset, but I love you the way you are.." you smiled. He gave you a quick kiss, "I love you too.".

[fayes-fics]

Portrait: I

Masterpost

PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: The first portrait session.

Warnings (for this chapter): none

Word Count: 1.4k

Authors Note: Enjoy! <3

I

It's an early spring morning when you watch from the drawing-room window, heart in your mouth, as he descends gracefully from his carriage, so elegant in a navy jacket over a maroon waistcoat with a soft gold silk cravat. You listen as your family butler lets him in, and before you can arrange yourself on the setee, he strides in business-like. All he knows is that he is here to paint a portrait of a bride for her intended. He already has his hand out to shake yours… until he sees it's you. 

His whole stance changes, and you know in an instant that he recognises you from the gallery that night. Now, up close, you see how tall he is, the turn of his aristocratic nose and his eyes that are the haziest blue you have ever seen. It's impossible to look away. 

There is something charged in the air as, instead of shaking your hand, he delicately takes it up to his lips and brushes the lightest of kisses across your knuckles. There is no skin contact, seeing as you are wearing silk gloves, but even that simple gesture has you undone. You can feel the warmth of his fingers and his lips through the material, and you have to school your breathing; your stays suddenly too tight around your ribcage.

“Miss y/l/n,” his voice is a veritable rumble, and your body is aflame. You are his. Completely. There is no other man you wish to know, wish to marry. Ever. You want him to take your hand and run. Run far away until the name Thomas Baden-Smith is but a distant memory…. “Show me where you wish for this portrait to be painted.” he cuts into your yearning reverie.

You stumble, almost dazed, towards the chaise you have set up in front of the fireplace for this exact purpose. His gaze flits between you and then around the room.

“The light there is not quite right,” he opines with a head tilt. “I would like to move you,” he adds, drawing closer. You sit there dumbfounded for a second until you realise he is looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to get up so he can rearrange the furniture.

“Sorry, good sir,” you apologise and jump to your feet, stepping aside, not missing how his nostrils flare at the honorific title you bestow upon him.

He moves the chaise, so it is on a diagonal. Then asks you to sit again as he moves to stand in front of the window. All you see is his silhouette as the bright sunlight blazes behind him.

“Perfect!” he exclaims after a moment of consideration, gesturing for his valet to set up his easel where he stands.

The valet does so and then bustles quickly from the room. It is just you and Benedict now. And the grandfather clock in the corner, loudly announcing each second with its pendulum swing.

You decide it is good that you cannot see him so well with where he has chosen to stand. Perhaps you will be able to sit still. Not think about the tingle you still feel on your knuckles where he kissed you, barely a chaste brush as it was. Just last year, you shared a stolen kiss with your childhood friend Daniel behind the greenhouse, his tongue in your mouth, his hands grabbing your bottom. But that was nothing compared to the split-second Benedict Bridgerton’s lips burned a metaphorical hole through your glove and your heart. And indeed, the polar opposite of the disdain you feel every time you are within a few feet of your intended, albeit the very reason you are sitting here in the first place.

You have to force yourself to concentrate as Benedict details how the process will work, explaining it will take around five hours and that he will paint the portrait over the course of five sessions. Adding that he has heard from a good friend that this is the most successful approach, as after an hour, people tend to get restless about sitting still.

“Do you have a pose in mind, or would you like me to suggest one for you to adopt?” he asks, and your mind goes blank. You honestly had not even considered that.

“Nothing in particular. Just something acceptable for my future husband to hang in his hallway,” you answer quietly, reluctant to vocalise the reason he is here.

Something flashes in his eyes, and it dawns on you that perhaps your parents did not elucidate why they requested his services. 

“Right, well,” he bustles, seeming a little off-kilter, “we should endeavour to capture the very reason he fell in love with you….” 

“He does not love me,” you cut in, desperate to clarify, “and I certainly do not him. Not all people have the privilege of marrying for love, Mr Bridgerton,” you end, your voice brittle.

You see him nod and swallow heavily as if he has words he doesn't want to allow to escape. “Permit me a closer look to determine the best pose?” his request gentle and respectful. 

Suddenly he is kneeling in front of you as you perch on the chaise. You have to fix your gaze on a spot on the wall behind him; you dare not look at him as he seems to study your face.

“You have a face that captures the light perfectly,” he murmurs, and you know a blush stains your cheeks and creeps lower your collarbone feeling heated and prickled. A gasp catches in your throat as a long, elegant thumb and forefinger delicately grab your chin and move your face to be slightly in profile. It's his bare hand on your skin. Your body flushes hot, and there is a sudden pulse at the apex of your thighs; you have to swallow hard to tamp the saliva filling your mouth.

“That's it,” his tone triumphant, “don’t move.” 

Your eyes dart to meet his even as you keep your head where he requested. There is a split second where your gaze holds, and his pupils enlarge as you slowly draw your bottom lip under your teeth without realising. There it is again. That jolt that you ardently want to believe he feels too.

It's almost a relief when he clears his throat, stands up and walks back to his easel, puttering around with paints and brushes as you watch in your peripheral vision. Just as you think you are back to an even keel, he peels off his jacket and rolls up the frilled cuffs of his crisp white shirt, exposing his toned forearms. You feel a galloping tightness in your chest, yet again, you cannot look anywhere but him.

“This is to prevent charcoal or paint transferring,” he explains, erroneously assuming your intense stare is borne of confusion rather than abject enthrallment. 

“Of course…” you respond, shaking your head lightly to rid the reverie of thoughts your mind is supplying, tumbling images of your fingertips tracing over the vein that runs from his wrist to his elbow.

“At first, I like to sketch an outline as a guide for my painting,” he explains, and you just nod, unsure of what else to do.

And then all is quiet as he concentrates on the task at hand. It is a strange trance-like state you enter as the moments tick by. Holding the pose as you hear charcoal scratch over the canvas. Attempting to syncopate your heartbeat with the gentle dull rhythm of the grandfather clock. Anything to school your body’s reaction every time your eyes stray to him.

Half an hour has passed when the pins and needles start to creep into your limbs, your body more on an even keel as it adjusts to his continued presence. Your brain feels like it needs some stimulation, and alas, you cannot read a book, so decide conversation it must be.

“How many young lady’s portraits have you painted?” you ask as he seems to change for a different pencil.

“None,” he admits with mild contrite, “you are my first. My speciality is usually landscapes.”

“First of many, I am sure,” you affirm. “Once they see your work here, you will have a line of customers.”

“You flatter me, miss,” his cheeks heating a delightful shade of pink as he dips his head and continues his work. Not without his eyes twice darting to yours and then looking away. 

You pretend not to notice the ache in your chest his humility causes as the clock strikes the hour, signalling the end of your session.

And when he leaves a few moments later, wrapping up the canvas without letting you see it, you feel strangely bereft—as if he has taken a little piece of you with him out of the door. 

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush

[softquietsteadylove]

This Year

"Gil?"

"Oh," he looked up from sweeping the floor of the shop, still wearing his suit and everything. He sniffled and swiped at his nose, "h-hey."

Thena came into the shop, letting the door drift closed behind her. She also still had on the dress she had worn to the school formal, with her white coat unbuttoned over it. "We turned around and you were gone. What happened?"

"Uh," he tried to turn around, pretending to sweep more thoroughly. He hunched around the stick of the handle, "well...remember how I was gonna ask that girl?"

"I recall."

Thena didn't really like her, but when he had asked her if he should ask, she had given him her support anyway. Thena was a good friend, like that. All their friends were.

"Well," Gil sighed, finally setting down the broom and toying with the tie that was loosened but still hanging around his neck. He must have looked so stupid, "she never showed."

"She stood you up?"

"Wait!" he rushed out, knowing that if Thena got out the shop door, she was going to run to that girl's house and throttle her with her bare hands. "I-I mean, I dunno, maybe she had something come up. Maybe...maybe she had something more important to do."

Thena walked closer to him by the front counter. She crossed her arms at him, "nothing should be more important, if she's the right person."

Gil sighed again, not done with his pity party. He still had the stupid flower he was going to give her, too. "Guess she wasn't."

Thena softened, losing the hard edges to her severe expression. Everyone always said Thena was so scary looking, and maybe he could see it if she was pissed off. But he never thought of Thena like that; she was actually really sweet and considerate.

"Then she's not worth your tears."

He sniffled again, but Thena reached up and brushed some off his cheek for him. It wasn't like he had any reason to act like a tough guy around Thena, anyway. After spending all their lives together, it wasn't like she didn't know he cried at sappy movies and videos of puppies walking for the first time.

"And if I ever see her-"

"Hey," he chuckled, grasping her hands in his before she could start naming the litany of things she would do to his failed date. "Look, it doesn't matter, okay?"

She still had a face that made it seem like it very much did.

"I mean," he shrugged, "just 'cause she talks to me in math doesn't mean she wanted to go out with me. Guess I could have thought of that before asking her, but whatever."

"Gil," Thena started and then paused. She liked to choose her words carefully. She looked at him, tilting her head because after hitting middle school he was finally taller than her. "You don't need her."

He chuckled, "thanks."

"I'm not just saying that as your friend," Thena continued. It was more words than he was used to, from her. "You are kind, and sweet, and as far as I'm concerned you are the only boy I have ever known to have any sense."

He snorted, "c'mon, what about Kingo?--or Druig? Or your own brother?"

"Certainly not," she rolled her eyes before paving over his interruption. "You are the best person I know and...and I would hate to think that you wouldn't believe me."

He did feel like the best, when she put it that way. He sighed, just staring at her under the hum of the fluorescent lights of the shop. He always thought they were kinda depressing, like in apocalypse movies, giving a weird tint to people's skin at night.

But Thena always looked so beautiful.

Thena raised on her toes, in the low heels she was wearing to match her dress. For having said that she was only going because their mother said that she had to if Ikaris went - which was a very Ajak thing to say - she certainly hadn't been lazy about her outfit.

Gil closed his eyes, smelling her perfume as she pressed her lips to his. He forgot about the broom, his arms looping around her back as she slid hers around his neck. He had never kissed a girl. He had - secretly - been hoping that tonight would be his opportunity.

This was far, far better than he could have expected.

Thena pulled away, her eyes darting around, looking at him and wondering what he was thinking. She must've let Sersi and Makkari do her makeup because her eyelashes looked darker and longer than usual. "Gil?"

He blinked, still just staring at her. He felt like he was king of the world, though! Man, kissing was way better than everyone made it seem. He had thought surely it had been overhyped, but no, definitely not.

"Gil!"

The rest of their friends also piled into the shop, also looking haphazard with ruffled hair and half buttoned coats. Sersi came charging in first, her hair bouncing around her. Ikaris slid in right behind her, looking the most frustrated. Makkari and Druig followed in after.

"Are you okay?" Sersi asked, "last I checked you were waiting for your date. Next time I go for some punch no one has seen you and Thena's gone too."

"Uh," Gil blinked, as if time had paused and now he was no longer holding - and kissing - Thena, but now Sersi was talking to him and Thena had slid three feet away. "Y-Yeah."

"Yeah?" Ikaris repeated, obviously not the one most enthused to have left the party. He looked over at his sister, though. Despite the rule that if Ikaris went, she had to go, Ikaris was still her brother (annoying and somewhat overprotective). "What?"

"What?" she asked back, even more defensively.

"What's wrong?" he asked more directly, walking closer to her as if he could smell someone expressing interest in her.

"Gil, are you okay?" Sersi asked him much more sweetly (what she saw in Ikaris, none of them would ever know).

"I'm okay," he smiled, nodding at her. The sting that had him dragging his feet all the way home and in here had faded. It almost felt totally healed, actually. "I, uh, got stood up."

"What?!"

That bitch. Makkari shook her head, although Druig was clearly in agreement with her, even if he was too much of an old soul to ever call a girl a bitch.

"Look, it's okay guys, really," Gil again tried to dissuade his much more bloodthirsty friends (Thena, Druig and Kari). "I think it might have been a misunderstanding, actually."

"You're making excuses for her," Thena pursed her lips. Although, given what just happened, maybe her distaste of his date wasn't just disapproval. He raised his eyebrows at her and she rushed to look away from him.

"I drive you all and no one can close a single car door?" Kingo huffed at them as he finally joined their little pity-party. He looked at Gil over everyone else's heads, "you good, big guy?"

Gil snuck another look at Thena, who blushed faintly. He chuckled, "yeah, I'm a lot better, now."

"Good," Kingo let it suffice. He had his moments of deep emotional understanding, always peppered in between his usual need for attention. "So, what's the plan?"

Everyone looked at everyone else, standing around in Gil's uncle's shop attached to their home.

"Uh, hey!" Gil smiled, finally tugging his tie off completely. "Gramps only ran out to get some pizza and stuff. I was just gonna lock this place up anyway. You guys can come in and...hang out, if you want."

"Party at Gil's!"

He smiled, relieved that he hadn't spoiled the night for anyone. Makkari and Druig happily linked hands and went to the fridges to pick out drinks for everyone. And he knew they would have no problem ditching the formal dance, dates or not.

Ikaris gave his sister another glare, but they were equally stubborn, so there was no way he was going to get any answers from her here and now. He let Sersi drag him away by the arm to pick out sweets.

Sersi did lean back to whisper to Thena, "I assume you went through with it."

Thena swatted her away, as well as Kingo, who gave her a look that seemed between Sersi and Ikaris' levels of knowledge. She ducked her head.

Gil swayed in her direction as their friends helped themselves to the family shop. He felt pretty confident for a guy who had been stood up on his first official date a mere hour earlier.

"You didn't have to invite us to stay," she advised him, also swaying in her hesitation to choose a direction.

He shrugged, pulling just one hand out of his suit pants pocket. "Hey, we should have some fun tonight, right?"

Maybe surprised by his optimism, she smiled. "I suppose you're right."

"Uh," he started and looked around, losing some of that confidence again. Thena just looked so pretty, it was hard to think straight. "I-I guess this is kinda lame, but..."

She stared as he pulled out the flower he had gotten from behind the front counter. "You got her a rose?"

"Well, I wanted to get something," he shrugged, snapping off the long stem like it was nothing. He chuckled, "i actually picked the white one because...it reminded me of you."

Thena let him slip the budding rose into the bun binding her hair together. She stared up at him.

"Sorry," he blushed, slipping his hands into his pockets again. "I'll pick you something more special, next time."

She smiled, visibly resisting the urge to touch it now that it was settled in her hair. She looked towards their friends, already heading towards the back door that would lead through his garage and to the house. She tugged at his sleeve faintly, "it'll be perfect."

[caramel-included]

Comfort Love

—

Tendou Satori x Self Insert!Reader

—

TRIGGER WARNINGS: «Mention of suicidal thoughts, mention of self harm, mention of depression, bullying»

—

A little side note to this story;

All of the generally harsh mentions are from personal experience. The story is just for fun and to not try and place someone down. I am still going through very difficult mental issues, though I already have enough support to help me succeed out of it. If you are ever feeling like this, please don’t be afraid to call/text any mental support stations or someone you can trust the information with.

You felt your body quiver slightly as you read through the textbook's words. The days started becoming colder as Fall was coming to an end. Your eyes barely looked over at the window, seeing the high view of the school's yard and small town. You couldn't help by sigh as the clock, that stood behind your teacher, continued to click over every second.

You personally never enjoyed school, not because of how academically straining it was but because of how you were alone. You never allowed the loneliness to overwhelm yourself but when the constant bully appeared, you didn’t know how to handle yourself there.

The stress and anxiety grew over time. Now, in your third year of High School, you didn't see yourself making it. Though, with such night comes day, and your day was Tendou Satori. The man who cherished, worshiped, loved you. Whenever he smiled, you smiled. His aura, energy, him, was keeping you up.

Your left leg started to bounce as you impatiently waited for the final bell to ring. Your arm started to itch and you began to have a small panic attack. This usually occurred when you accidentally let yourself go, it takes a while to recollect. The school bell rang frantically in your ear and you couldn’t help but stand up immediately, which caused some students to look at you and giggle. You gulped awkwardly and reached for the sliding door. You opened it while shaking, but your arm was pulled with it as it opened from pure joy from Tendou.

You looked up at him surprised, it felt rare to see your boyfriend after school as he always followed himself to practice. “Hello, Y/N.” His words slight out with pure love, he took your hands and swing you around. You both stood out the hallway, “I’m not busy today. Do you want me to walk you home?”

His kind question caused you to blush madly. You loved whenever he had this kind of time with you, you felt like you guys continued to get close every step. “Yes!” You responded with a smile, “We can go to the store too. I was going to go there before I went home.”

He took a small thought and immediately agreed yo your plan. — You both walked towards the store, talking nonsense about anything. Volleyball, cooking, school, tournaments. You both couldn’t stop talking as the tone of your voices sang a melody through both of your ears. You walked in the connivence store first, a small ring rang through the sliding door and someone came to greet them vocally. You took lead on where you were going, and you stopped yourself in front of the steaming meat buns. You grabbed one and another for you and Tendou.

“You can grab yourself a drink if you want I have 3,000 yen with me.” You offered with a smile for Tendou.

“You sure? I don’t want you to spend so much.” He took you into consideration.

“A 100%. No need to worry.” You confirmed with him.

Tendou smiled and went of his way to grab both and you him drinks. You stood in one of the aisles as you waited for Tendou, then the ring of the connivence store rung, and you heard many different students walk in all at once. They were loud and though talked about things that were unclear to you.

You stood there nervous, worried they’ll recognize you and pester you, or tease you. As you continued to worry, they walked where you stood and immediately recognized you. “Huh.. Y/N? what are you doing here? Going to eat all the food once again?” She said, judging you badly. “Try to save some food for us, you know we’re hungry too.” She gave a pouty face at you, trying to make you react.

Though your eyes stayed low and you continued to hold the meat buns in your hands. “You think you can ignore me? Huh?�� The girl said and hit your head. Your head stung badly and you couldn’t help but keep it down and allow her to attack you. You were useless in this situation, if you tried anything they would hurt you, even worse cut your arm once again. The last time that happened your arm was widely open and you had been taken to the doctor from a student who had saw you dripping in blood.

She hit you in the head again until Tendou took it, “You had your fun.” He smiled frantically at her. He was heavily upset and his aroma felt menacing. “Tch.” She said and walked away from you and him, one of the girls in the group spat at your shoes.

Tendou glared at them as they walked and then immediately took out a cloth to clean your shoe. “You don’t have to.” You spoke.

“But I want to.” He responded. Afterwards, her grabbed your wrist and brought you to the counter. He paid for everything himself instead of you, and a wave of guilt hit you once you both reached out of the stores distant.

You couldn’t help but breakdown, Tendou was so kind to you, yet you felt as if the world despised you. You gently dropped the meat bun on the floor and sat down, leaning on someone’s fence. “Tendou, please…” you whispered, “Why are you so nice to me.”

He stood there quiet as you sat there, he then later moved himself towards you, bringing his arm over your shoulders. The smell of cologne hit your nostrils, you laid your head on his body. “I cannot explain the many words I have for you. The love I have for you is understandable yet so hard to identify. You bring a lot to me Y/N.. that’s why I am so nice to you. You brought me out of my own shell, brought me to my feet and made me see beauty in things. Even if I am not. I am here to bring you this delight now.” He responded to your dying question.

You continued to sob on his shoulder and he continued to consult you. His warmth and love for you was impeccable, yet you allowed others to control that. Your grip onto his jacket tightened as you felt pressure off your shoulders be released. His face would then go closer to yours and a beautiful kiss was marked on your lips.

[capnjaket]

The Opposite of Lost - Chapter Two

The Opposite of Lost

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female OC

Word Count: 2.4k

Chapter Two

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆ Joshua

 I couldn’t stop thinking about how well last night went, how excited Rosemary was to see our show, and how close we were by the end of our game of pool. I told myself I’d go walking out on the trails to process it all, but I knew inside I was itching for the chance that Rosemary would be there too. I pulled into the parking lot and saw not only her car, but Rosemary herself sitting in the open boot of it, tying up her boots and fixing her two plaits. We both smiled at one another as I drove into the next parking spot.

“Coming or going?” I asked.

“Just got here! Where are the others today?” She said, looking up from her feet. She was wearing some cut off jean shorts with a huge dark green tee overtop, almost covering the shorts, as well as some colourful socks under her brown hiking boots. She had her camera around her neck and her usual crystal and stone necklaces on.

“Busy doing their own thing, so you’re stuck with me.” I replied. I was wearing some random faded shorts with a white tee, some old battered shoes, and a long beaded necklace.

“Cool! Shall we get going?” She jumped off the trunk, then closed and locked her car before turning back to me.

I bowed my head a little and put my hand out, gesturing her to lead the way.

“Excited for school starting tomorrow?” I asked, following her out onto the trail.

“Yeah…” She hesitated.

“Don’t worry you’ll be fine. Hopefully we have a few classes together - we’ll see when we get out timetables tomorrow. But I’ll walk you to class either way so don’t stress.”

“Thankyou,” She breathed a sigh of relief. “What would I do without you?”

“Hide in trees all day and watch us creepily?” I looked over to her.

“I’d do that either way” She raised her eyebrows.

We both chuckled. “So where are we going Miss Rosemary June? Anywhere interesting you can think of on this fine afternoon?” That rhymed.

“Ha that rhymed!” Jinx “I know a place.” She looked smug.

“Of course you do.” I smiled, following Rosemary with all my faith.

We walked for a while on the track before she randomly looked at a tree on the left and just hugged it. Literally saw it, let out a soft ‘Oh’, ran up, and hugged it. It had a larger trunk than the others around, and it stood out - not for any other reason, it just had that sense to it. She let go and slapped her hand against the bark, looking back at me.

“Bernie.” Was all she said. By this point I had caught up, and she smiled and started walking into the woods off to the left where Bernie stood.

“I like to name the trees that I use to mark things. It helps me to remember them.” Rosemary said after a while of me following her through a tiny path. “I know it’s weird, and you probably think I’m a lunatic actually—” She cut herself off from rambling while obviously trying to not look at me.

“I think it’s very considerate and intelligent.” I said. “I want to know all their names.” She stopped walking and turned back towards me with a growing grin, and wide, excited eyes.

“That will take a lotta hikes.” She giggled.

“Sounds like a plan.” I said.

“Sounds like a plan.” Rosemary repeated, nodding in confirmation and setting off once more.

We walked in comfortable silence until reaching a small dried up riverbed that had grown over, creating a sort of trench. There was a huge log sitting across the two edges acting as a bridge. Rosemary walked confidently halfway across it, hands out to steady her. I followed carefully, almost falling a couple of times but eventually reaching her as she sat down in the middle. It was actually quite high off the ground now that I looked down to find my spot. I sat down cautiously next to Rosemary, my legs finally relaxing and swinging a little as they hung below me. The moss covering the top felt like sitting on a carpeted floor, and it smelt beautifully dense with wood and greenery.

“You were really good yesterday.” Rosemary broke the silence once we were settled. “Singing, I mean.” My heart leapt out of my chest and I snapped my head to her. She continued to look forward while my smile grew slowly and I turned and looked down shyly.

“Thanks. It means a lot. Truly.” She finally turned her head and smiled to me.

“I was half expecting you to pull out a trumpet or some kind of obnoxious horn instrument - honest to god I did.” She spoke between fits of laughter.

“I find my voice to be obnoxious enough actually. I’m surprised you didn’t pick that up before you heard me sing.” I said, managing to pull myself together enough to pretend to be serious.

“I can see that now.”

“… Thanks for winning us that game of pool.”

“Anytime.”

“I’ll hold you to that, because the boys already want a rematch. I’m keeping you though.”

“Of course, otherwise the rematch is not a rematch at all!”

“You know, I’ve been wondering, what do your parents think about you being out here all the time? It’s like you live here.” I had been wondering this since I started seeing her all the time. Mom and Dad have always been pretty relaxed with us but were usually aware of our plans or where we were, and we tried to be home for dinner most nights.

“… T-they uhh … don’t care.” Her answer seemed strained; almost spoken at a whisper. I noticed the way she looked down too, with furrowed brows.

“So why did you move here to Frankenmu—”

“When did you realise you could sing like that?” She cut me off. I let her. She really didn’t seem to want to talk about that stuff.

“I don’t know, Jake and Sammy just played and played and I eventually started to sing, but I had to do it all weird and loud so that it mixed well over their amps, and somehow that turned into whatever I do now. It wasn’t really on purpose.”

“Only the best things come about through growth.” She said insightfully.

“… So you think my singing is the best?” I teased. She rolled her eyes.

“Do you think that's what you're going to do … like in the future? Play and write music?” She looked out into the trench.

“Do you think that's a possibility?” I questioned, studying her.

“Definitely.” Rosemary kept her gaze forward, furrowing her brows as if to confirm her statement in her own mind, then she turned to me with a sincere look.

“What do you want to do after we graduate?” I asked.

“I have no idea. I’ll just have to see where the road takes me for a while, I want to go to Yosemite and all that.”

“That sounds good. I hope I can see all the national parks, and if I’m lucky I’ll try to go overseas; see the rest of the world.” She hummed in agreement, as we both looked out into the forest ahead.

We stayed like that for a while, both dreaming of the different places we want to go, letting our eyes go out of focus.

“Then what?” I finally broke the silence.

“What?”

“After all that. Then what?”

“Grow a garden.” She said with upmost certainty.

“Should have seen that coming.” I giggled, and she did too. “I like that. I think I want a similar thing - settle down, wash the dishes.”

“Wash the dishes?”

“Yeah… I read this quote one time, something like ‘everybody wants to better the world but no-one wants to help Mom with the dishes’. I just want to spread and provide love in any way I can.”

“And what that looks like, you don’t really know yet.” She finished my thought exactly.

“Exactly. It could be singing my thoughts to the world, or it could be doing the dishes with my girl at the end of a long day.” I said, god I was just pouring my heart out right here. “And if things turn out I’ll be able to visit your lovely garden too.” I poked her in the side, but she didn’t even flinch, staring straight into the horizon, lost in thought.

“And I’ll jar up some homemade jam for you to take home in return.” In return for what? Some love?  She smiled slightly and turned to me again. “Want to keep walking?”

“… Yeah let’s go.”

We got up and carefully walked our way back towards the track. Rosemary took the lead again of course as we wound our way through the trees. “It's getting a bit darker so if you need to go home I'd understand, but it's a tempting sky for a stargaze and you can join if you'd like.” She had her hand resting on Bernie once again, looking up at the clear, fading sky.

“I’ll stay. They won’t mind.” I replied, and she looked me in the eye with a soft smile. “Lead the way.”

She walked us uphill along the path, just out of breath enough to not want to talk much. It was so quiet at this time of day. I focused on the sounds of her boots softly stepping in front of me and her delicate breath whispering in the still evening.

I hummed a little tune, which turned into ‘Leaving on a Jet plane’ by John Denver as we walked. Reaching the summit, the break in the trees bled an orange glow, revealing her face to be deep in thought. I stopped humming.

“What’s on your mind, Rosemary?”

“What? Oh nothing.” She turned around with a distant smile, but didn’t make eye contact, and she walked down to one of the flat spaces of rock. Her eyes looked tired all of a sudden, and I wondered if it was something I did.

“Are you sure?” I tread up to where she stood still, breathing in the mountain air.

“Yep! Now let’s take our seats for the show.” And just like that she was back to her normal spritely self. We both sat on a large, flat boulder with our legs bent and our arms propping up our upper halves. The sun had just gone below the horizon, a beautiful ombre of blue and navy taking over the once rainbow sky. We spotted a few stars and laid flat, waiting for the rest to arrive. “I’ve always wanted to learn the names of the stars.” She huffed.

“Too bad they’ve been named already - you missed a chance there.” I teased. She scrunched her face and turned to me.

“Jokes on you, I would have never thought of cool names like Sirius and Perseus.”

“Oh so you do know their names!”

“I don’t know which name goes with which star though. That’s kinda the important bit.”  She cocked her head to the side, her eyes glittering in the star shines as they darted across the sky.

I sat and admired the scene in front of me for a long time; the way each white speck danced across her glossy eyes, the way she tilted her head to a new angle every so often, her face relaxing. I looked up too, shocked at the clarity from this spot. I only got caught looking at her once, but she just smiled wildly at me, almost as if to say, how good is this? It was beautiful.

“Have you ever heard the poem ‘The two-headed calf’?” She whispered.

“No…” I said, and she hummed in response.

She took a breath and began to recite it.

 “Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual.”

A breathy “Wow” was all I could manage.

“I think of it every time I see the stars. I love that poem, not because the message is as per usual you know, ‘carpe diem’, I love it because it just makes you feel.”

“Thankyou. It was wonderful.” I said. When I turned to look back at her, I could hardly see her face in the now faded light. “Okay I think we should go now. It's getting late and I don't want anyone to worry - your parents or mine.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

As we stood, Rosemary stumbled on a pebble and went flying into me as I instinctively caught her, placing my arms around her to lift her back up before making sure she stayed upright by grabbing her hips. I felt my skin burn where I held contact, relishing in her soft body before quickly pulling back.

“You okay?” I whispered, our faces still close as we stood in the same spot. She sounded flustered as she answered.

“I'm fine, sorry…”

“It's alright, now let's get you home.” I patted her on the shoulder and beckoned her to join me on the road back. My left hand ghosted the small of her back as we walked, though she didn't stumble once.

“Hey, I know we are new friends, and you’ve just met me and my brothers, but I hope you know…I-I hope you know you’re safe with us. I will- we all will keep you safe, not just on the trails, you know, school, life, boys…” I trailed off as we reached our cars. “No more ‘Captain Jack’ if you will. I thought I should tell you that, I don’t know why - I guess I don’t want to lose you already.” She gave me this pained look, the streetlight dripping down her face. She took another deep breath like before.

“Thank you.” Rosemary breathed out, and we descended into a deep moment of eye contact. “I mean it.” We both finally smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I wanted to hug her so bad. Too awkward, Josh.

“Tomorrow.” I echoed, and we stepped into our cars and drove our separate ways.

[aforestwitchpancakes]

When things are happening in front of our eyes, we never think that this is probably the last time that it will happen.

Rather, we always think that it will happen again and again since that is where you are in life right now.

But little did we knew that when we were sitting on that soccer field, eating pizza and drinking coke, in the middle of the night with our bodies enjoying the summer midnight breeze is probably gonna be the last time.

My friends and I have drifted apart, busy searching for our own purposes in this world, but when I look up at the sky, I know that they still think of me as I think of them.

And we wonder how they are doing in their lives right now.

When I entered the Batac Campus of MMSU, I really did not know what I was doing there because I was supposed to be at the Laoag campus.

However, I did go with the flow and tried to enjoy the time flashing before my eyes.

I am forever grateful that I was able to make a meaningful and unforgettable college years due to the existence of my friends.

I have very few close friends. Paul, Edmar, Zyra, Deniele, and Allondra. There were friends too. Casmir, CJ, Dominic, and the people at my amazing dorm, Czyril Macay, Alona Jane, Ashley, Eloisa, and of course, May-may.

My world revolved around them. We gave advice to each other about everything--- love, finance, careers, dreams, wins, loses, disappointments, abuses, and harrasments--- practically everything.

What I liked about them is that we shared this kind of energy that felt so real and genuine. We can gauge how much energy each person can give and we were very considerate of that. In short, we shared and spoke the same language in our hearts.

But we also pushed each other to be reckless at times--- WHICH CREATED THE FUN.

I am forever grateful to have met these people at a crucial time in my life.

I had to experience going home at dawn and its not because of drinking or partying at clubs. We were too busy sharing our own understanding of the mysteries of the universe.

We would not feel the time clicking by every time we are out together. We will look at the clock and will be surprised that it is already 4 in the morning.

Thank you MMSU for giving me the best years of my life.

I will always go back to the memories where I felt the most alive.

Now that I think of them, I smile reminiscently like an idiot.

I loved how the gang at the dorm would just storm off at anytime of the day when we get hungry. No car or car, everyone was just happy to be there with each other. We loved walking to McDo and then laughing and hollering in the streets when we go home.

I loved it how we let every intrusive thought catches us and then we would influence the others to go and do that thought--- like going to a night swim even if it means ending up in circles, asking every resort if they are still open because we badly needed to swim, and then we would end up at the beach, with disappointed hearts because it is not allowed to swim anymore due to the time.

I loved how someone would just miss the beach and then we would call everyone we know so that we can have a car to go. HAHAHA. I swear, every beach that we went to, we have left a fucking incredible time.

I loved how my other gang at the school would collab with my dorm gang and we would go anywhere together, laughing at each other like we have known one another for years--- free concerts (like literally any free concert, even if its been put up by a high school, HAHAHA), short tours and picnics up north, and even just crashing each other's dorms to eat or lie on the bed, doing nothing.

I loved how boring we are too. We were the type of people who did not find happiness with alcohol alone and so we were conscious of the things that we were allowing to happen.

My school gang and I loved arranging small picnics at our school grounds, near the fields where the breeze is cold and nonstop. We would spend the day there after our classes, just lying on the cold floor, piled up with pine needles and cones--- talking, laughing, and just being our boring selves.

I loved how open we were about our situations, to the point that we would cry due to the other person's revelations or situations.

I loved every time that we spent at the MMSU's cafe--- the one and only--- Caunayan 7/11. HAHAH.

Hours and hours and hours of talking there would not still be enough even if we just bought a single ice cream or a box of crackers and junk food to eat.

I loved how Paul and I made many meaningful conversations there about life, which made us cry or laugh, and even disappointed.

Actually, I consider Paul as my best friend. I feel safe and confident talking to him every time, even if we haven't talked in weeks. Because I know that he has my back at any situation, as I have his.

In this whole wide world, aside from my parents and brother, I believe that he is the person who could save me from a bullet or would even take a whack for my back.

I am grateful for having people who engaged my mind and tickled me with questions in life. Zyra, Edmar, Paul, Deniele, and Allondra shared that energy with me.

Like when we spent that midnight at the university soccer ground. After having a conversation over pizza and coke, we wandered around the school pool and field like delinquents who did not know how to go home. HAHAHHA

We were talking about every possibility in life and in love. We were so alive that night.

We never knew that that would turn into just one of those memories that we will cherish as long as we live.

Thank God for letting me meet people who made me into this. Because they encouraged me to be brave. To be happy. To be there for myself. To back-up my dreams and just let the world make its route.

Because that is life. And I am happy that I was a part of theirs.

I know we would meet again and would make new memories.

Because that is what friends do. To be with each other, even just with our hearts.

<3 <3 <3

[savebatsfromscratch]

No.24 And after all they went through together…

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51088714

Words: 1,059

Cws: Suicide (specifically of a close friend), flawed thinking, guilt

Notes: Hhooo…. This one was a bit depressing, even for me. :(    If you are struggling with thoughts like these, always remember that there is life to live for. There are people who love you, people who care about who you are and what you can be. It is never the right answer to end your life, there is SO MUCH to live for! Seriously!

Prompt: No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.” Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

“Have you seen X?”

“Did you check on X today?”

“Do you know where X is?”

The questions had fallen like autumn leaves from Y's mouth, leaving it drier than Route 13 in a dry month as she soared across the sky. From the moment she woke up that morning, she’d had a bad feeling in her gut. She'd tried to ignore it at first, it had been her first day in the new semester at Sky Trainer School, after all, but that hadn't lasted very long.

The last time she'd gotten a bad feeling like this... 

Well, you could say that it was pure luck that she had gotten there in time to stop the inevitable, and now she feared that it was already too late.

She zoomed across the sky. Already crying as if she knew the answer to the questions rushing through her hopelessly screaming mind. She had to get there in time to stop it. She couldn't just let him die.

The wind was complicated today, but she floated on it so flawlessly she could have easily received extra credit for it had her teachers been watching. At the moment, however, Y was not thinking about that.

If what she was thinking was true...

Why, the idea was so horrific that she doubted she'd even get a break from the grief to even remember what she had done in the ticking seconds before it happened.

As Vaniville Town came into view below her, Y dove a steep dive towards the house that she knew X was currently living in. The wind raced past her, colder than night, but she didn't even flinch as she skidded to a stop outside of his window. The landing was perfect, second nature even, but Y's heart pounded hard inside her chest, throwing off the emotions of what she normally felt outside his room.

“X?” she called, banging on the window as hard as she dared without aiming to break it, “Are you in there?”

Y waited a few moments, pacing back and forth nervously as she listened for any signs of life from inside the closed curtains. Any flicker of paper, any shifting of fabric, even a creaking floorboard would have done it, but nothing came.

“X?” she asked again, growing slightly frantic as she stopped her pacing, “I'm coming in if you don't answer me!”

Again, there was no sound. Only the whistling of wind through the perfectly clipped trees surrounding the silent property.

”X?!“ Y was practically yelling now, banging against the window with both fists as she screamed for him, ”X!“

Even with all of her racket, there wasn't a chirp from inside the room.

Y's blood felt frozen in her veins. Was she too late?

She stepped back, almost slipping on the tiles of the roof in her rush to get to her friend as she rammed against the glass. There was a small cracking sound, but not nearly enough, so she backed up and tried again. This time, the window shattered, and Y crashed through into the cold apartment.

Pain stung on her face and arms where the glass had scratched her, but she forced her eyes open. She strained against the shattered glass for several agonizing seconds before she finally managed to actually struggle to her feet.

Standing, however, was only half the battle.

”X?“ she asked the quiet room, gingerly stepping out of the glinting remnants of the window as she looked around. Even with the light streaming in from the newly broken window, the room was still dark enough to cause considerable trouble for her eyes. ”X, are you here?“

There was no response, and Y's heartbeat picked up in tempo as she squinted into the shadowed corner of the room.

What she found there made her heart stop in her chest.

Was she too late?

Hadn't her mother sworn to protect him, no matter what? Hadn’t she been here with him?

She stepped forward on shaking legs, her arms hanging numbly at her sides as she stared uncomprehendingly at the sight before her.

How could it be real?

Her hands shook, and she found herself falling to her knees.

As she had expected, there was a reason X hadn't answered her.

Y didn't notice it until later, but X had left something for her. Bloodstained and crumpled, but just as full of personality as his now empty body had ever been. A note, just for her.

It was about their time together. The way their lives had entangled so specifically. The story of an Ace Trainer and a Sky Trainer, so often parodied in Kalosian entertainment, had been true with them. She had been his sun and moon, his stars and clouds, and his wings to the world. He had been the one that had calmed her when she was scared, the unmoving (and often terribly upsetting) rock in her life.

She hadn’t even gotten time to say goodbye.

When Y looked back on her life afterwards, she couldn't help but rewatch everything that had led up to this. Even years and years later, she still missed him as if he had been her world. (And when her mom wasn't looking, she still found herself crying randomly about it.)

They had been friends since childhood, and even through unimaginable hardships they had always stayed close. Even when X had locked himself in his room (Y couldn't help but feel heartache at the idea), she'd been the one out of her friends to have the most connection with him. 

She'd thought he'd been getting better after their little adventure against Team Flare, but it seemed that the new media attention was just as bad as the old. No matter what Y had begged to those reporters, no matter what X had said about how he felt, it was now overly clear to Y what had happened.

It wasn't her fault, but, Arceus, she felt like it was.

Yes, her mother had been the one in charge of taking care of X for those last few days, but Y didn't blame her. Y blamed herself, even though she knew it was wrong. She should have been there. She should have done something.

But, in the end, she hadn't, and now she had to live with the consequences, without X by her side.

Again, I have to reiterate that suicide is NEVER the right answer, and that if you are struggling with thoughts of this, PLEASE reach out to someone who can help. I, thankfully, am not dealing with such thoughts (I am completely fine), but if you are, please know that you are not alone. You are loved.

[cuddlefishie]

Writer's Month 2023, day 1

Prompt: blossom Fandom: My D&D OC, Diana Korga Word count: 1233

Summary

Diana Korga and her mentor Garth Heartland spend spend some time sharing their frustrations.

As she always did on a Grissen, Diana Korga walked up to Garth’s house after school was over. And as he always did, there he was in the front lawn checking on the plants and herbs after last night’s rain. There was a lot of buzzing going on, Diana Korga managed to convince Garth to let her put up an insect hotel there too, so they both could look at them going about their busy insect days while they just spent time and talked. The bees were happy, there were beetles, the worms on the ground were happy, it seemed like a nice day.

Well, you could hear Diana Korga stomping her way to the house.

“Oh, somebody woke up on the wrong foot today?” asked Garth.

“Ughhh yeah you could say that! It was Ms Lint in History today. Why doesn’t she ever - “ Garth interrupted her. “Hey now, let’s sit down first shall we? I still have some of that lemonade, you want some?” he smiled.

Diana Korga sat down on the bench in front of the house right under the big kitchen window and lazily threw her bag to the side. Garth came back with two glasses of lemonade, he handed one to her slowly and sat down next to her.

  “With a nice drink it’s a lot easier, isn’t it?”

“Yeah it is, but I’m still worked up. Today in History Ms Lint did a surprise oral test. Of course not everybody got everything right, but for some reason she really poked when it was my turn.”

  “Oh, I see”

“She knows I have troubles with names and dates, and it’s all so much. And then being pressured in front of the whole class! I know I need to get better at that and.. and I’m trying but it’s all so -”

  “..frustrating.”

“.. yes. The others can remember the name of the person who first cultivated their first exotic plants, but I just can’t. I.. I keep trying and it just doesn’t go in my head. And there’s the whole situation with Jessica..”, she said while looking down at a little cotton stainer making its way across the grass.

  “You have a lot going on today, it’s okay to be a bit out of it. It’s normal, we all have those days.” Garth said with a calm voice.

“But it seems I have a lot more of those days than others. I mean, I have never seen you like this before.”

  “I just learned to hide it better,” he said with a slight chuckle.

“Oh? What things are you frustrated about Garth?”

  “Oh so many things. The mayor is continuing with those new changes and placing more and more guards in the city. My friend Naia who runs the stamp store probably has to close down for good. But you’re way too young to care about taxes”

And it was true, Diana Korga was too young to care about taxes. She just tilted her head.

  “It’s the same thing that happened to your Mama’s store. Did you know that my Elara used to visit your Mama’s store a lot?”

“I mean, I know that that’s how my family got to know your family.”

  “Her shop was lovely! She always had the prettiest flowers, it always smelled so good. I know you would have loved it!”

“I’ve seen pictures! And my parents talk about it every now and then”

  “It takes a very skilled florist to grow Aquamyst orchids even in their native habitat, but your Mama somehow managed to grow some herself - here! No other florist for another 500 miles can do that!”

“Hmm..”, that got Diana Korga thinking.

  “Sometimes when Elara had a really bad day, she would go to your Mama’s store. Your mom didn’t change a bit in all those years, she has always been this cheerful but also considerate and just made you feel safe. Elara liked to use that as an excuse to build up the energy to put on a happy face and go be with nice people. And she loved Aquamyst orchids, she always said the shape of the flowers was pleasing? I never understood it, but it helped her calm down, and that made me happy!”

“She had some of those in her wedding bouquet, right? It’s in that picture in your kitchen!”

  “Haha, that is right! She really loved them. I never really understood what was so nice about them, to me they were just flowers”, Garth said lightheartedly.

There was a small moment of silence, Diana Korga was slowly moving her legs back and forth, dangling down the bench.

“I know that Mama still keeps some of them around in the green house, but they don’t often bloom”, she said. 

  “They don’t. They have a pretty tiny window for actually flowering. Last year even your mom couldn’t make them blossom. There are years where they grow better and some where they grow worse.”

Garth became a lot more still, his laid back posture became a bit more stiff.

  “You could say we were lucky. For her funeral we had plenty of them. And since then they seem different to me. I didn’t understand what she found so special about them. I think I still don’t. But I find them special now. They really do have a pleasant shape.”, Garth said with his voice slightly cracking.

Diana Korga started tearing up a little. She rocked her way closer to Garth until she sat right next to him and gave him a long hug, throwing her arms around his shoulders.

“Say, this year my mom did manage to grow some of them, right?”, she asked.

  “Yes, I kept them inside for a bit but your Mama said I should try to actually plant them in the ground, said something about that making it easier to maybe grow some here one day. I planted them right over there, but they didn’t take.”, he pointed to the corner where the small garden fence meets the house wall.

“Can I try something really quick?” “Of course, always”

Diana Korga got up from the bench, walked in the direction of the corner and took Garth’s hand, pulling him up from the bench.

“I did this a few times, Aria showed me this”, and she kneeled down in that corner. Her pants were right in the freshly rained-on dirt - but her pants were already dirty on the knees anyway!

She looked down, quietly mumbled something that Garth couldn’t really make out and she did some small, delicate and slow movements of her hands, as if she was holding and caressing one of her chickens!

She slowly moved her hands up, and as she did some of the already brown-ish shrivelled stems started to change colour. They became a more and more vibrant green, then slowly started to lift up, like somebody getting out of bed who has been slumbering for way too long. Then she moved her hands to the side, her body having a more open stance towards the growing plants, and over the course of about 20 seconds or so the flowers started to bloom.

Garth looked at the Aquamyst orchids, now blooming in his front yard. He looked down on Diana Korga with tears in his eyes, a smile on his face and sense of pride.

“They really do have a pleasant shape,” she said.

[blinktimes182]

0-44?

God damn, fair enough. Slapping this under a read more

0: Height - 6FT1

1: Virgin? - No

2: Shoe size - 12 UK (about a 12.5/13 in US mens)

3: Do you smoke? - Don't smoke cigarettes, do vape sometimes

4: Do you drink? - Yes

5: Do you take drugs? - Yes. Smoke weed semi regularly. Have been known to take a range of things when at a festival but don't really touch all that stuff outside of that environment.

6: Age you get mistaken for - Don't think anyone has mistaken my age before

7: Have tattoos? - Yea, Kylo Ren's lightsaber on one forearm and the blink-182 self titled album cover on the other

8: Want any tattoos? - Yeah a shitload

9: Got any piercings? - No, used to have my left ear expanded and my labret pierced

10: Want any piercings? - kinda want a side nose piercing and to re-stretch my ear

11: Best friend? - Weird one, don't think I have a 'best friend'. I've had them before but have since grown apart from most of them.

12: Relationship status - Single.

13: Biggest turn ons - Once I work that one out I'll let you know. Knee high socks and a nice set of lingerie on a person look good but wouldn't say it's a 'turn on'

14: Biggest turn offs - No idea tbh

15: Favorite movie - Scott Pilgrim vs the World

16: I’ll love you if - You're a gamer and are nice to me

17: Someone you miss - Honestly? My nana. So many situations I needed her wisdom for and nights I could have done with her shoulder to cry on.

18: Most traumatic experience - I nearly drowned when I was about 6 or 7

19: A fact about your personality - I'm awkward and shy until I've had a drink or have hung around you a few times.

20: What I hate most about myself - My inability to hold a conversation online without sounding like I'm interrogating you

21: What I love most about myself - How much I make myself laugh

22: What I want to be when I get older - Given I'm 29 there's not much older to go. Suppose career wise though I would like to get into the game industry at some point, but that ship is starting to sail

23: My relationship with my sibling(s) - I'm the oldest child of 6 and moved away from my hometown for Uni, so when it comes to my younger 3 sisters I don't have the kind of relationship I'd like to have with them. Me and my brother have a cool relationship. He's autistic and I love hearing him talk about his latest hyper fixation, how his YouTube channel is going and just about anything to do with games. My and the oldest of my younger sisters do have a close relationship though since we are only 5 years apart.

24: My relationship with my parent(s) - Great relationship with my mam and my dad (is my step-dad, but consider him my dad since he raised my since I was like 8). Go to them for any advice ever and to rant/moan/cry. Very very distant relationship with my biological dad. Never see him, talk like maybe once every 2 or 3 month on facebook. Kinda feel sorry for him though.

25: My idea of a perfect date - Minigolf (either drunk or normal), go for some food (Chinese, Japanese or Indian food preferably) and finally some drinks to finish it off

26: My biggest pet peeves - Slow walkers is probably my biggest one.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like - don't particularly 'like' anyone currently. Haven't been speaking to people with that kind of intention really.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most - Self centred, thinks they're always right and they know more than they do. Also thinks everyone loves then when that couldn't be further from the truth. No consideration for the feelings of the people they hurt. Also they can be very vindictive sometimes.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend - So they aren't hurt (and a couple times to cover my own ass)

30: What I hate the most about work/school - Going to work. That's it.

31: What your last text message says - "Get the spurs shirt back on, the comeback is on now!! Haha"

32: What words upset me the most - "I've cheated on you"

33: What words make me feel the best about myself - "Thank you for helping/Listening"

34: What I find attractive in women - A nice smile, dimples, nice eyes, good haircut and a good sense of humour

35: What I find attractive in men - See above

36: Where I would like to live - 50/50 shot between Japan and the Netherlands

37: One of my insecurities - my smile

38: My childhood career choice - Wanted to be a scientist all the way up until I was like, 16/17

39: My favorite ice cream flavor - Mint choc chip

40: Who wish I could be - A well put together, successful person that has a family

41: Where I want to be right now - Not at work

42: The last thing I ate - Some grapes (people like grapes)

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - Tom Hiddleston

44: A random fact about anything - Did you know that there is a species of jellyfish that is immortal? Known as the Turritopsis dohrnii, it has the ability to revert back to its juvenile polyp state after reaching adulthood, effectively allowing it to live forever.

[toyahinterviews]

TOYAH ON GET SET FOR SUMMER, BBC1 WITH PETER POWELL, JULY 1982

PETER: Toyah, come and join us down here if you can TOYAH: Hello! I like your microphone! PETER: Do you want to hold this? Just sit down here. Take a seat. Folks, it’s “Pop A Question”. Thank you for the 1000s of cards on Toyah’s behalf that came in to this part of the programme. And it's when we put you under the thumb TOYAH: Put to the test PETER: Yes, we got to find out all about you TOYAH: Oh no! (Peter laughs) PETER: Steven has written in from Norfolk TOYAH: (the kids next to her are restless) Be quiet there! PETER: You keep them in order (Toyah laughs) Steven says “Dear Toyah, I'd like to know where you get all your energy from?” Here she is huffing and puffing! (Toyah pretends to collapse, the audience laughs) and “how do you keep yourself so fit?” 

TOYAH: It takes takes a lot of sort of determination to get up very early or go out very late at night and do lots of running PETER: You go to a gym, don't you? TOYAH: Oh, yeah, I do lots of gymnastics. I'm sort of like  very supple PETER: And every time you do a tour you go and have a workout for three weeks to get yourself  - TOYAH: Oh, yeah. Really have to PETER: Good for you. It's important we want to keep fit I think. Robert from London wrote “my question to Toyah is, which is more important to you - acting or singing careers? Or are they both equally important?" Thank you for the question TOYAH: (Puts on a phoney 50’s American accent) Well sincerely folks, they're both very important. I mean, they really are important to me. I love doing both of them. I only believe you should do what you love doing. You shouldn't be forced into doing something you don't want to do 

PETER: Alison here (points to girl next to him) has a question for you, don’t you? Let’s take the mike over here ALISON: What was it like making “The Blue Marigold”? (above) TOYAH: I made it well over a year ago, and actually made it when “It’s A Mystery” first hit the charts. So I was very sort of happy and very up but it was a challenge because I had to age considerably. I sort of had to like - don’t laugh at me (laughs) wear these great big wigs, which is always a challenge to wear a wig sometimes because it feels like a hat PETER: (Touches Toyah’s hair) This is real, isn't it? TOYAH: This is, yeah! People think this is a wig. I know it looks like one PETER: Another question here I'd like to ask. This is Alison from Somersert. “I would like to ask Toyah if she wore outrageous clothes and had funny hair do’s when she was at school?” A lot of people wrote in about this question 

TOYAH: Well, I don't want to get into trouble but basically yes. I started cutting my hair before I started wearing sort of weird clothing. I mean, teachers don't like it. I don’t think they ever will. But I think it's always very nice if you can sort of look normal for school and then come home from school and you can actually actually buy sprays to colour your hair that can wash off. And I advise kids to do that more than anything, but I was pretty outrageous at school PETER: Your look is very hyper important to your image, isn't it? 

TOYAH: It's not done totally for image. It's done because that's actually how I like to look PETER: Can we do a close-up on Toyah’s eyes? They’ve changed haven’t they? Why did they change? TOYAH: Well, the new album is called “The Changeling” and the changeling means when the elfin folk snatch a human being away from society and put a fairy there. Now, I'm not saying I'm a fairy (the audience laughs) I thought the only way to sort of portray that word is to have black eyes (pretends to hit herself) Bang! PETER: Another question from Callum in Glasgow. “What inspires most of your songs, Toyah?” TOYAH: Well, (with) the new album it's been mainly dreams. I have terrible nightmares and what I do is I wake up and I write everything down. And also I've been abroad a lot in the last year. I wrote a lot of songs while I was in Hamburg and places like that, which are very inspiring PETER: That's good. Toyah, thanks for answering the questions TOYAH: Pleasure

PETER: Do you want the rest of the cards that were sent to us? TOYAH: Yeah! PETER: You can look at them and find out what people really want to know about you TOYAH: Yes, thank you!   Watch the interview here HERE