#and let redd hurt ethan in that second scene

[painsandconfusion]

My True North

Whumping the Whumpers: Part Five

[Previous | Masterlist | Next]

(tw: mention of past torture, blood, stalking) sorry not too whumpy....yet

Ethan sat with one leg dangling over the side of the bridge, swinging slightly. His heel clunked against the cement to a steady rhythm, sending vibrations up to his knee. He picked at a cold sandwich he had found.

Well...Found was a generous word. He had found it in the lunchbox of a distracted business woman on the bus. And then it found its way into his coat pocket. Funny how that works.

Ethan reached for his wallet while he chewed, pulling out Nate’s business card. It was pristine. Nate was one of those fuckers who printed linen business cards just because they could. The texture caressed him back as Ethan ran his thumb over the phone number.

He really should let it go. Watch it flutter down into the water and disappear forever. He could forget about this whole mess. Move on. Go back to what he had a month ago. Ethan had actually been happy for a brief, fleeting moment. He had started to find himself again in the rhythm of the city.

But he was running. Always running.

He couldn’t stand the running. Not anymore. It’s so fucking hard to be brave when you never know when the next shoe will drop. He had too much to run from. Too much of everything. Too many people he’d pissed off. Far too many looking for him. Too many who would peel his skin off his body one strip at a time and force it down his throat just to make a point.

But he was good at running; an expert, really, at getting away. Escaping and wriggling free was his specialty. But once you run, it never stops. The running follows you as much as the past, eating into every cell of your body until that’s all you are. It consumes you. Even when your muscles cramp. Even after blisters form. When feet start bleeding. Legs worn down to nubs. It would never be enough. He couldn’t run fast enough.

The past would always catch up.

Nate had already found him. The others would too. If not them, then the next fucking psycho that came along. Ethan didn’t have friends. Didn’t have a job. Or a home. A phone. Anything. Nothing to tie him down or make him traceable. But that also but him at risk all over again. He was in danger every moment. No walls, no locks, no one to notice if he disappeared. All he could do was break into a rundown high school weight room every night and burn off every calorie he managed to swipe, then pass out in the boiler room. Even that was risky trying to dodge the handful of cameras the school could afford.

He held the card out over the water. He should drop it. He should run. He should…call.

No.

No, Ethan needed to run. He could be happy somewhere else. He just needed to get away. He had gotten Redd’s captives out. That was enough…right?

No. Of course it wasn’t enough. It couldn’t ever be enough. Not anymore. Every time Ethan closed his eyes, he saw Redd gargling on his own blood. Felt the knife in his hands. The indescribable rush or euphoria tingling through his bloodstream.

Redd had screamed so loud. For a man that as so obsessed with Ethan being silent during torture, he had proven quite the hypocrite. Ethan smiled at that. He had smiled, then snapped Redd’s arm under his foot just to hear that scream again. It echoed in his mind even now.

He wasn’t himself in that moment. Ethan wasn’t that kind of person. He was a protecter. A fighter. A little hot-headed maybe, but not sadistic. That was a one-time thing. That was so entirely out of character for him.

So out of character that he wasn’t even afraid. His blood pounded with every sound Redd made. He went from shivering and cowering under the man’s touch to looming over him, making him bleed. Making him scream. Making-

No. Shit. Stop thinking about that. What the fuck is wrong with you, Ethan?

Ethan stood, pacing the edge of the bridge. He tried not to think about it. To shove it down and move on. But Nate was right. He needed more.

Mayo crept through his fingers. Ethan held up his hand to find the sandwich was completely crushed in his first. Pieces of bread and cheese had fallen to the ground.

Stupid. So fucking stupid. Why do I have to break everything I touch? 

Ethan would up and hurled the remains of the sandwich into the river. It plunked down under the water, drawing ravenous fish thrashing against the surface.

So desperate. So hungry. They didn’t care what the food was or whether it might poison to them. They just mindlessly clawed for more, starving and desperate.

Ethan glanced down at the card again while his other hand wiped the Mayo off on his jeans. He tucked the card back in his wallet. Ethan wasn’t an idiot. He couldn’t trust Nate. The man was always playing games. Always fucking with his head. This could so easily be just a game to him. The next time Ethan saw him, he could find a syringe in his neck, a bat to his skull, or chloroform pressed to his mouth and nose. Hell, maybe worse.

Why was he even still considering this? Calling Nate was dangerous. Even on a pay phone, Nate could track his location. It’s not like he could-

Ethan’s thought cut off as something vibrated against his chest. He froze, staring down.

The vibrating continued in a quick, rhythmic pulse. Ethan didn’t even have a pocket there. He patted his chest, locating the phone under the fabric. He reached inside, finding a liner with a letter pocket he hadn’t noticed before.

He had this coat for months, how did he not notice a pocket there?

He pulled out the phone. The caller ID lit of the screen: “Bestie 😘”

Ethan grit his teeth, swiping to answer and pressing the phone to his cheek.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Nate’s voice crackled to life on the other end. “Oh good, you didn’t move for so long I thought you might have chucked it into the river.”

“I’ll do that now, then. Thanks for the tip.”

“Aw come on, If you were going to throw away the phone, you would have already thrown away the phone.”

“Well now that I know it’s here, I’m tossing it.”

“Wait, did you really not find it till I called?”

Ethan set it jaw, glaring at the skyline.

“Oh wow. Well that’s kinda embarrassing on your part. It’s been there two days now.”

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose. He should just chuck the fucking phone.

“Is there a point to this conversation?”

“A few, actually. First, are you suicidal?”

“The more you talk, the more homicidal I get, does that count?”

“I’m just asking cuz you’ve been standing on a bridge for like two hours.”

“Stop tracking me, creep.”

“Aw, you know you love it. You like the attention.”

Ethan bristled. “Again, is there a point to this conversation?”

“Want to get lunch?”

Ethan paused. “What?”

“Lunch. Let me buy you lunch. We can plan and stuff. Or have you already eaten?”

Ethan stared at the water. The fish were gone with his sandwich. “Already ate, thanks.”

“...Ethan?”

Ethan ground his teeth at the sound of his name on Nate’s lips. “What.”

“Keep in mind I can always tell when you’re lying.”

He should really chuck the phone. “What, are you psychic now?”

Nate chuckled. “No, I just know you. Better than you know yourself, I think.”

“Then do you know what I’m thinking now?”

“Mmm, something violent, I’m sure. Please fill be in on the details though. I love seeing your mind at work.”

Well that threat didn’t fucking work. Just throw the fucking phone. “Yeah, okay, the phone is going in the river. Have a retched life.”

Nate laughed. “Sure it is. I’ll be at the Bartlett Café in fifteen minutes. It’s like three blocks south of where you are. See you then.”

The line went dead in Ethan’s hands before he could get a word in.

Fuck him, anyway. Ethan gripped the phone. He wound up to throw it...then froze.

He weighed it in his hand. The black screen cast back a dark image of this face. Just a shadow of himself. It didn’t look scared. It looked pissed. Strong.

Ethan tucked the phone into his jeans pocket. Then took it out again.

Held it over the water.

Why is this so fucking hard?? Ethan knew the answer. 

He could still feel the blood on his fingers. Nate’s throat in his hands. The rush of absolutely control. Euphoria.

Fuck it. No. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t be that.

With one final mental push, Ethan sent the phone flying. It whistled through the air before splashing into the water.

No fish swarmed it. The water swallowed it whole and moved on like it was never there. Well that was anticlimactic.

He still felt empty. It wasn’t enough. He needed a clean break if he was moving on from Nate. Ethan pulled out his wallet and retrieved the business card. He shredded it between his fingers before he had a chance to change his mind. The pieces fell down into the water as well.

Ethan stepped back, hands in his hips. Satisfied.

He started walking north. North was good. Towards the high school he’d been hiding in. Away from the crazy bastard who was definitely going to kill or torture him at the first possible opportunity.

Redd’s face flashed across his vision again. Writhing on the ground. He had tried so hard to crawl away with two shattered kneecaps and no functioning arms. The blood had smeared the ground behind him.

Ethan stomach growled, cutting off his thoughts. Was he ever not going to be hungry?

“Fuck it.”

He turned and started walking south.

[Previous | Masterlist | Next]

(tags: @prisonerwhump @whumpawink @mabledonut @heathenwhump @paleassprince @wormwriting @jadeocean46910 @distinctlywhumpthing @happy-whumper )

As always, just lmk if you’d like to be added or removed from any tag lists!