#and learning how to set them- make them clearer- and respect them properly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunfloweroranges · 4 years ago

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𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℂ𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖𝕕 ℍ𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝒮𝓊𝓀𝓊𝓃𝒶 𝓍 𝓃𝒷!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 ʰⁱˢᵗᵒʳⁱᶜᵃˡ|ᶠᵃⁿᵗᵃˢʸ ᵃᵘ 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 Ⅰ

𝐀/𝐍 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢 [𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚋] · 𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢|𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚜 𝚂𝚞𝚔𝚞𝚗𝚊 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚕𝚎 · 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚍 𝚘𝚏𝚌 · 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟷𝟷𝚔 · 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚕 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚜, 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚗𝚒𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜 (𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜, 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚜), 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎/𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜, 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎, 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 · 𝙴𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢!

ℙ𝕥 𝕀 | ℙ𝕥 𝕀𝕀

𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

Gazing down, between pale clouds, floating along the winds of the wild sea, coast emerged in its waves.. Japan was a land of art, invention, culture, tradition, truth be told, this realm wasn’t normal, laced with things, beings called curses, land where the thought of men could create powerful monsters, where hate seeped into creation leading to demise or redemption… This province, decorated with mountains in which resided creatures most men feared to think of, cut with rivers, flowing with hills, made of beauty, heritage, decorated with shrines, some old forgotten, rundown and taken back by earth itself, some vividly colored, decorating the ground they were resting upon, risen in praise to gods men believed, risen for protectors, for those who bless with good harvest, which carry victory for its prefecture. This motherland which contained so much beauty so many stories associated with every mountain, every river, even a rock under which resided a spirit providing safe travel, all of that spun from the mind of men, their stories, myths, their conceptions....

· · · · · With a flutter of dark wings, a bird of prey circled one of the fields looking out for pests rummaging in the yearly yield of food for a nearby settlement, in the field worked people, with big straw hats protecting their heads from sun, which slowly rose from behind one of the magnificent mountains that enriched the view from the village.They weren’t the only ones that rose with the warm rays, the animals, their caregivers, the people gathering themselves to go off on a journey far deeper into the land of cherry blossom, with them rose students, in this quite big village, named Tokyo by the prefectures governor Yuga, under care of few, Lead by Nanami Kento, a land owner, respected for his knowledge and sober, clear judgment, people lived prospering lives, educated to the role assigned in their lives by fate, fate which looks unclear until someone, someone like villages takusen or oracle as they were called, cleared their clouded fates and set them on clear path of life..

To become one of the roles, people with their fates leading them to be, either farmers, caregivers, healers, governors or oracles, they were taught, from youngest of ages, taken into schools, to learn the sacred knowledge of their path, this was the tradition after all, though some paths were clearer than others.. which ones? The perfect example would be one of Twins, two humans born of one woman in the same day or night, how were their paths clear already? You see, there’s this thing everyone here has for tradition, legends and mysticism, twins are one of the more buzzing subject, their existence tied to mankind. Every prefecture, every village, had their own word on it, here in Tokyo twins were a dual flame, thought of as one spirit separated into two bodies, with their approach to life being- good always comes first, they thought out their own look..

· · · · · ℌ𝔲𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔡𝔲𝔞𝔩 𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔱, 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔰𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔰 𝔦𝔱𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔴𝔬. 𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤- 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢, 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔩𝔢𝔡𝔤𝔢, 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫, 𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤, 𝔩𝔬𝔶𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔶, 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔶, 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔦𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔟𝔲𝔱𝔢𝔰 𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔴𝔰 𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢, 𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔶, 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔭𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫, 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱, 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔡, 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢.. 𝔗𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔦𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔰 𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔟𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔣 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔱, 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔞𝔡.. 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔢𝔰 𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱 𝔠𝔯𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯𝔰- 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔨𝔢𝔭𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔳𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔤𝔢, 𝔞𝔰 𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔩𝔢- 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔬𝔣 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔭𝔞𝔰𝔱 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔰, 𝔱𝔬 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔭𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔬 𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔞 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔬. 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔞𝔡 𝔬𝔫𝔢, 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 ��𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔯 𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔥, 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞 𝔴𝔢𝔞𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔦𝔫 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔡, 𝔱𝔬 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔣𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱.. 𝔗𝔴𝔦𝔫 𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔪𝔶, 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔢𝔫- 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔱 𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡, 𝔬𝔟𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔰 𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔩 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯, 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔲𝔫𝔢. 𝔗𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔡𝔲𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔞 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔢, 𝔟𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔴𝔬 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔞𝔣𝔢𝔱𝔶..”

With a small shuffle of pages and hands tracing down virtuous letters came a sigh “Well, that’s just harsh don’t you think Kugisaki?” a tired voice brushed through the morning air, two people sat on velvet pillows by a small table, one known by the village, born and raised here in Tokyo, the other.. had a more patchy story, being adopted by a group of scholars when found on the libraries doorstep. “Why?” A bored tone responded, Nobara was staring blankly at the pages full of scribbled in rush notes not even reading them properly, her shorter hair fell messily still not fully settled after a good night’s rest /s. The two were sleep derivated, not only them, almost everyone with maybe a few exceptions, everyone in this year was close to the final exam, the test that would truly determine if their fate was to become a villages miko or takusen.

“People aren’t plain black or white..” y/n spoke with a saddened tone, there they go again, Nobara rolled her eyes and turned her head towards her dear friend, her hand placed down the small notebook, closing it which just proved the theory, Kugisaki wasn’t really learning but just staring at her notes. Y/n sighed and shook their head, there was one thing they knew, how pointless miko or takusen names were, why not just call them oracles? After all they were believed to have both spirit parts, masculine and feminine, if one wanted to become the master oracle their parts should balanced like the lives of twins are.. “You know we can’t go against sacred texts, it’s just what we have to remember.. Knowing only one of us will become the oracle..” Nobara added with little to no hope of actually passing, she already looked into her fate with one of Tokyo’s smaller miko’s, just so she would have the security and clarity of what comes next.

While these words fell Y/n got up from their seat and looked to the beautiful landscape stretching out before their e/c eyes, mountains, countless buildings, some being homes, some small temples, some stores, y/n could never understand how Tokyo was still called a village with the amount of people and the sheer size of it, but what do they knew about governing over land, they were no Yuga nor Nanami to know anything about it, their specialization was in spirits, curses, the mystical side of their land.

Their train of thought was disturbed by their wary eyes catching a glimpse of a flock of birds startled by something, their brows furrowed a little with confusion.. With a moment of thinking y/n came to a conclusion that it was no other but the temple of Tokyo’s head takusen, the most powerful of all, not only in their prefecture, but in the whole sacred province of Japan, Sukuna. The same one that was to take in one of their group in a month or so, when the final test decides who is worthy of working beside the King of Curses, as they called him.

· · · · · On the other side of Tokyo, in a peaceful temple, with beautiful garden right by a calm porch sat no other, but the powerful King of Curses himself, in his favorite white gown embedded with most expensive purples on its hems, sipping on a morning tea before his work would begin, already knowing waves of sorcering warriors would come pleading for him to work their skin, give them power and resistance to fight against enemy, whether it be curse or men. This lovely and most probably the calmest of moments in takusen’s day was cut short by a very particular lanky man, dressed in black with the most annoying voice making the pink haired man want to rip his ears off. “Sukuna!~” All too familiar mess of white hair poked out from behind a corner, this startling a flock of birds from one of the cherry trees and earning just a click of tongue from the tattooed male which just about spilled half of his green tea. “What the hell do you want?” His words were sharp, honestly Gojo was pretty sure everything was, his nails, eyes, even his hair though looking like it was taken care of, if one would dare and touch it their fingers would be cut off. “How harsh” The blindfolded man theatrically clutched his chest, as if pretending to be hurt, though both of them knew that it couldn’t happen, not with how much power the annoying man possessed. “You never come here without a demand, what is it?” Sukuna spoke sparing a glance to the other which rushed over with an idiotic smile he wanted to slap off of this pale face..

While Sukuna wiped dry a small table on which he spilled the tea, Gojo humming sat down and rested his head on one of his hands, a sly smile evident on his face, of course he wanted something, he wanted to see precisely, he wanted to watch The Final Test of the oracle students, but this was a month from now. He already waited 10 years! A decade!! Do you know how excited do you have to be when the one time you’ve seen this miracle show of a test you’ve been 19 and didn’t give a shit about it?! But Gojo had a plan, a plan that was foolproof, doomed to succeed with just a few words.. “Kyotos Miko said you’re weak.” That’s it. A pair of two ruby eyes sparkling with rage fell onto the blindfolded man..

“Oho, but don’t worry, no one questioned your mastery, she questioned, or rather, challenged your ability to ‘teach the mastery of curse tattoo’s to a hatchling’” The man rose his hands in ‘I didn’t do anything’ position. Gojo felt like Sukuna would burst this second if he didn’t calm it a little, his plan might’ve worked just a tiniest bit too well. “Eh? Teaching ability? Who is that bitch..“ The strawberry haired man was stopped from getting up by a lanky hand on his shoulder “Now now, we both know you wouldn’t let your reputatuion suffer, nor let anyone question your power right? But you don’t have any new apprentices, not until next month’s test-“ “The Ceremony is happening tonight.”

Sukuna’s words cut off Gojo which couldn’t help but internally smile like an idiot, his plan worked so much so the most powerful King of Curses made such a decision on a whim, not like the blindfolded man didn’t like it, he loved this idea, he got what he wanted, surprisingly so. Improving his bluffing skills could be checked off of his bucket list for this year. Sukuna got up brushing the white haired males stick-like hand off of his shoulder “Go and tell them already, preparations have to start immediately.” The sly sorcerer didn’t need to be told twice and was gone with the wind as soon as Ryomen finished his sentence.

· · · · · Before Nobara could take a peek through Y/n’s notes, or them even opening their lips to scold their friend for it, the door to the shared dorm flung open, behind them ever so excited Gojo-sensei which seemed to buzz with enthusiasm, which definitely was not reflected by his students which tiredly crawled out of their dorms as their morning calmness was disturbed by their dear teacher. “Y/n, Nobara, go to the outside training field, I’ll meet you there when I gather everyone else.” With those words the white haired man disappeared, something was weird, the sudden spike in their sensei’s eagerness felt off for probably everyone who wasn’t half asleep while walking to the training ground.

The news of sudden, pretty big move of a very important event spread like wildfire, the town having barely woken up was suddenly buzzing with preparations, the streets slowly decorated with vividly colored lampions and flags, tapestries hung out, even animals treated to a good bath and dressed in their best decorative gear, everyone though suddenly rushing tried their best. Nanami, the land owner which probably could be the only one to stop such sudden not well thought out decision seemed to keep silent and move on to assisting and cooperating the giant event that had the whole prefecture keep their eyes on Tokyo which transformed from one moment to another into the most lively, colorful, celebrating village of Japan.

“The big test, your final exam, is moved to...!” Gojo-sensei stood in front of a group of almost 20 half awake students jumping around and moving his hands in a drumroll motion “TONIGHT!!” this word was enough to wake every single one of the students “EEEHHHH?!” “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me..” Y/n whined while Nobara had a hard time gathering her jaw from the floor “Ah ah, language dear y/n-chan~!” Came from the white haired teacher which probably just earned a few more enemies in his class, what a love- hate relationship he had with the class, but who cares?! He was about to witness the greatest festival of them all, The Final Test!

“Now now, everyone calm down! I know you’re excited but there’s a lot to work for! I’ve already prepared a schedule ahead, that was supposed to happen in a month but here we are~” Gojo pulled out a stack of papers seemingly out of nowhere, or everyone was just too tired to notice where they came from but it didn’t matter. The white haired man handed out everyone a single paper which contained a full schedule “The ceremony will start at 10pm! Of course the carnival part will begin two hours earlier, can’t let any kids miss it and bedtime’s at sunset!” Gojo spoke with some weird spark going out of his, probably winking eye which was covered by a blindfold. “Of course I had to change a few things, in a moment you’ll be served breakfast, after that you’ll have two review periods, one for theory the other for practical skills, between them you’ll have a short break to change, since you’ve been split into four groups, two first will have theory then practical reviewing, while the other will have practical and then theoretical periods.”

Now that was a lot of information to take in from the very morning, while Gojo rambled on explaining everything Y/n felt the stress build up, they were close to the top of the class yet the dread of The final exam loomed over their shoulder for a while making them anxious over their performance, this was no joke as Gojo-sensei has repeated between his ramblings.. A shaky breath left their parted lips which felt extra dry now “Alright, that will be all, remember that after dinner there will be a big 3 hour period for practical test and then right after theoretical, no one wants to miss the carnival right? Lovely, now go off, I’ll be meeting all of you here after the meal where we’ll part into two groups!” This felt like a damned summer camp, but demanding like an army training, after all, Gojo was sorcerer warriors commander, y/n had no idea why this guy was in charge of them, but there was no time, everyone had to focus and pull whatever was left of their energy to perform their best.

· · · · · Now the whole day was a rush for everyone, but that didn’t mean that the preparations were half assed, this actually was the opposite, even more attention was given to details, paper and straw figures emerged from under hands of common folk, more intricate decorations or costumes were woven or taken out of their storages in the higher parts of Tokyo, dances and theatrical stunts were practiced. The big event was planned since last year’s summer, yet this one month less, and sudden need of perfection within ONE day was something that truly hasn’t happened ever in the history of any prefecture.. Sukuna’s sudden order shocked the higher up’s but none could protest, whether it be because they feared the head takusen or enjoyed the big event and wanted to see it happen, after all it would trade for one month more of calmness between these once in a decade event.

While in the sorcerer school last year students reviewed all their skills, from intricate designs being pierced into men skin, their design and placement to every miniscule detail, as the speed of each poke, as the ingredients of their tools, from ink to the twine that tied together a sharp point that pierced the skin and a stick held by the oracle. Y/n luckily ended up in the first group which got to theoretical review first, this let them read up on everything they felt a little unsure in, of course the groups weren’t left unsupervised like Gojo would probably leave it be. Nanami Kento himself appeared in the school, being one of the scholars that adopted y/n he was like their father, his presence gave somewhat comfort with a big dose of weight, as if making those which still couldn’t believe it too well, how serious the situation was.

Nobara ended up in something she liked much more, which was kicking ass of weak curses beside the practical application of temporary boosts, which were tattoos applied with special paste and sealed in for a specific amount of time with cursed energy the students learned to harness in around 10 years of their 20 year long education, everyone had their own specific way of harnessing the energy, of applying it to each task, from sealing the paste on an object such as a rock to defending themselves with their cursed tools. Nobara was a blunt woman, and so was her tool, using a hammer, or two, no one was really sure how many she had in her possession, but many feared them, even the rubber squeaky hammer she used most often while practicing the fighting techniques with other students.

“𝔈𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔥𝔫𝔦𝔮𝔲𝔢 𝔳𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔭𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔰 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔡, 𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔱𝔶𝔭𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔩𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔬𝔬 𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔦𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔰𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔬𝔫 𝔬𝔟𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔶𝔭𝔢𝔰 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔶 𝔳𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔱𝔬𝔬𝔩𝔰, 𝔠𝔲𝔱𝔰 𝔣𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔬𝔞𝔩, 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔢, 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯𝔫, 𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔞𝔩 (𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔷𝔢 𝔬𝔯 𝔤𝔬𝔩𝔡) 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡𝔩𝔢𝔰 𝔭𝔦𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔨𝔦𝔫. 𝔓𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱, 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔭𝔲𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫, 𝔰𝔨𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱’𝔰 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔶 𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔩𝔢𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔰, 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔭𝔲𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔲𝔩𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔬𝔬.” With a sigh y/n brushed their fingers through loose strands in their brushed back hair, focused like their life depended on it- because it very much did, they knew just bits and pieces of what awaited, they knew they had to remember each tools usage. That using a young rose thorn and charcoal/eggshell ink provided best working vigor, stamina tattoos rather than using an old thorn and ink made of charred bone which provided agility and core strength to the subject. So much information and so little time to actually fully repeat every single thing. Some students overwhelmed themselves while trying to repeat every single thing, y/n kept to an advice they were given by Nanami-sensei at the very beginning of their journey ‘complete a list with your weaknesses before each test, better yet, every week, and practice over those areas, focus on your weakness instead of repeating things you’ve already caught a proper grasp on.’ Their e/c eyes scanned over their complied notes and the list that was almost halfway checked out, time flew by when one dreaded what was to come.

· · · · · The break that gave the four groups just enough time to gather themselves up, change and attend the opposite groups activity, came too early for y/n’s liking, but they couldn’t do anything, just push themselves just a little more, striving for this, they worked for this for 20 years, this was their fate, everyone here had the same fate, but the result depended on this night, on today, how the hours passes painfully struck these which worked till blood, sweat and tears would mix into success. From sparring between students, alone, in pairs, groups, against each other, against curses, to applications of their knowledge, painting barriers of infinity taught by Gojo-sensei who seemed to master the art of being untouchable, working on their permanent applications on things that weren’t as alive. Gojo made it clear “This is nowhere near what the real skin worked on feels like, as you know having had a chance to feel live skin under your hands! Be prepared to work on skin that you’ve never felt before.” Of course Gojo didn’t know much, but various miko’s and takusen’s gathered and taught individually every single student, from advice to practical showcase of their art.

Sitting in their work gowns every student of the group on a special outdoor desk worked off on what they were given, practicing from simple paper sigils that turned into sparkling butterflies that would light the night sky like starts before fading with the wind to applying temporary tattoos to the carnival animals, such as horses making their appearance so much brighter and eye catching, or giving the nervous ones a light help with a few strokes of a brush that let the animal feel tranquil for the night.

Y/n worked on one of the fruits, with a slender stick made of cherry trees young branch finished with silk thread that held 3 bronze needles on its end, these were one of the more fancy tools, but knowledge of their use was important, a desk over worked one of y/n’s classmates, she held a chestnut stick and a birch rod to which on a 90 degree angle were fixed dried thorns, with light taps of the chestnut stick the woman worked away on the skin of a pumpkin creating one of the most intricate designs one would lay their eyes on, Yukine was the very top of the class after all, no one expected any less.

· · · · · The pressure was immense in the sparring y/n almost losing to their classmate in one on one spare, before remembering that, only killing wasn’t allowed, they used a long stick against a katana of choice of their opponent, this could end bloody but, after all, all tricks were allowed, their e/c focused on their opponents forehead which was hit by invisible burst of cursed energy from y/n, giving them the advantage of shock and tumbling back of their opponent to make a move, flinging the long rod around just to point it at the students throat as he laid on the ground defenseless, point for them, winning this one on one spare y/n set their weapon aside and offered their hand to help the other up…

This may have been a competition but it didn’t mean they hated each other all the time, sure an outcast happened from time to time, but cooperation and bonds with other students were important, as much power as they could harness turning a weak old man into a vigorous giant dragon, one person would never amount to cooperation between works of miko’s and takusen’s, unless you were Sukuna, the one ‘human’ that was able to create spells groups of four couldn’t amount to in power. Cooperation here was key, and they had to know it, take it into account as much as the balance of self within them, whenever they had the chance, fighting or working in pairs or more, they needed to work it out in a way that they would perform best, ‘otherwise they were as good as dead’ harsh but painfully true words that were repeated by probably every single teacher of theirs.

Y/n helped the classmate up “Good fight Seto-kun, but you leave yourself open to other tricks!” Gojo spoke from the side of the sparring ground. Seto nodded to his sensei and left the rink, y/n would face another person, a winner of their own spare, this elimination lead by Gojo’s somehow comprehensive thinking to picking out the weaknesses of his students as well as seeing who was the most capable of combat in this, human on human sparring. Y/n was lucky ending up in top 5 of the students, Yukine, the top class student won the first spot in this group. All of this sparring let the students work on their weaknesses, for y/n it was focusing on disarming their opponent first, without going into much defense or offence, this lead to minutes on end y/n trying to confuse their opponent with no success, which lead to stress and mistakes resulting in their loose.

· · · · · The cool water after countless sparring till they fail was just what y/n needed, the refreshing sip felt like a blessing cooling their hurting lungs and dry throat, sweat glistened on their forehead, just to be wiped off with a small towel, each student had those, it was nice they were given them alongside the water. Y/n’s eyes observed the top 3 students spar against each other from the side, they sighed wiping their nape of sweat, their attire was soaked too, luckily the students will get enough time to have a wash before dinner, today was going to be full of preparations, from here Y/n could see how Tokyo slowly was decorated colorfully. The training grounds filled with people, changing their activities preparing for the big test right after.

With a blow of refreshing cool wind a brass bell was rung by one of the miko’s calling everyone to the diner to eat what would be their last meal till the carnival to which they still had 7 hours, this first 5 hour period was a pain, imagine now a 6 hour one after this.. Y/n groaned softly realizing how much work was still ahead, the adrenaline still buzzing in their veins seemed to dull the stress for this moment, but surely not for much longer.. They got up and picked up their bo staff putting it on their shoulder, minding everyone around of course, don’t want this stick stuck in anyone’s eye. Y/n deposited the staff with everyone else at the racks where the weapons were taken by school personnel, a luxury in this school.

· · · · · While students of the oracle school worked away on their reviewing and polishing their skills, other schools gathered to help with organizations of the main arena, where the tests would be performed, they worked in a specially build spot, which had beautiful engraved, art in itself, stone walls, which had one entrance for public only and one secret entrance for the participants, which lead underground and into the specially build storage house behind the arena. It had to be cleaned, as if woken up from its slumber, a decade of bare minimum cleaning showed the lack of usage, but it just showed how important the oracles and this Final Test was to the prefecture. People worked on the field, cleaning out any weeds that outgrew a garden that was settled in the arena, which itself was giant, fitting probably all of Tokyo inside its walls, all for 20-30 students of oracle school each decade.

Within these walls were three areas, two similar in size, one being a clean fight rink, the other being a wild garden, that grew in such a way it looked like a piece of wild forest was taken and planted within these walls, the last area, which was smaller, was used as a tattooing space, all of the equipment, such as stools or tables were brung in from the storage house at the back of the arena, which while cleaned was also decorated by students of the art school, with banners, flowers from florists whatever they could find fitting. The fighting area of the ground would be also used as a performance spot before the final test would begin. Every person participating in the parade would end up going to the arena, where they would perform, whether it be theatrical, musical or gymnastic stunts, it all finished here. From this arena they could go to the storage house, which had a fenced off area for the carnival animals to rest in while the Final Test was wtached by Tokyo folks.

The walls were put into sections, for common folk, for scholars, for orchestra which would provide the lovely atmosphere of the arena, and the last section which was right above the main gates, the oracle section, where miko’s, takusen’s and Sukuna himself would be seated, in the same area a little above them the leaders of Tokyo would be seated, because of such rush Yuga could not appear in this decades show, but his prefecture had its own show, he couldn’t complain about missing this one. Nanami left the school while the students of the school were dining, and now a few hours later was the head decision maker to the preparations of the arena, his assistants were send out around Tokyo to look over everything else, the parade, the streets, even the shops and small stalls set up for the carnival itself...

· · · · · Once the sky turned from blues to reds which faded into black, when the sun dipped down behind the horizon and the sky was littered with shimmering stars, once the roads to all nearby temples were lit with sacred fires of their gods, Tokyo began its carnival, music played down in every corner of the colorful village, people like ants flooded the streets, from children to elders, everyone gathering to watch the event which they so carefully prepared.. Now that everything was done, every street beautifully decorated, every performance polished to perfection, the fun, the dance, the singing began.

Paper puppets in shapes of flying majestic dragons swirled around above onlookers head, music and bustle rung in everyone’s ears, food sold in stalls made in a way it looked like a performance itself, with fire lit beneath big iron plates or bowls, with sweet caramel like syrup hardening once swirled in shapes of fish or animals for the children to wonder at and enjoy the sweetness of, with ingredients being swirled and thrown in the air while fried, the streets came to life more than ever..

The students of oracle school finally went down from their school in the mountain, everyone dressed in their carnival robes, which they have had made by other students, students of the craftsman cast, most people took this as a break, as a time to rewind and join the common folk before they would be taken to their final test. Nobara and y/n stuck together, following instructions of their teachers to keep in groups or at least pairs, of course their arrival caused bustle, as much as they would want to just blend in, it was the day they all awaited.

“Look! Mum, look! Shamans!!” one of many children called to their mother which held her child close as the group went down the main street, people parting to make way for them, this felt really awkard for a few people in the group,, y/n included, but they tried not to let it show, holding themselves properly and smiling to the common folk, they were treated almost like a royalty. Y/n followed with the group, they were walking like so to the closest open space where usually people could find a market, but now in the circular spot waited for them the higher-ups, on their front stood Nanami, who was assigned to welcome them an wish them a moment to relax and good luck in their oncoming exam.

When finally, the formalities were done the students scattered around the carnival enjoying the most of it, Nobara and y/n went together to look at two things, the big red and white dragon performance y/n was so excited to see and to take a look at some stalls Nobara was interested in, they went almost hand in hand to make sure the crowd wouldn’t separate them. While caramel haired woman looked at jewelry in one of the stalls y/n watched with their lips slightly parted the swirling dragon to the music played by the artist which went down the street, while they watched a group of small kids approached, much to y/n’s dismay..

Y/n never really liked kids, they were fine, just over there and not here. The children started asking stuff about magic since they’ve seen y/n in the group of shaman students, they were blabbering yelling over each other asking questions that made y/n’s head ache, but they were prepared after their experience on other carnivals. They reached into their gown pocket and pulled out a small folded paper with beautiful swirling pattern on it, just when Nobara turned to look y/n handed the paper to the children and spoke “If you want to see something magical, think of your favorite color and blow on the paper.” The children curious turned to discuss which color would be best to pick, using this moment y/n grabbed Nobara’s arm and dragged her away “O-oi, y/n!” she exclaimed a little surprised at the sudden escape.

A pair of crimson eyes followed the small interaction, Sukuna was here, and he observed the students which were to compete against each other in just a few hours time, his brows rose curiously when he saw a small paper be handed to a group of children just for the two students to flee the scene. He was about to look away but a burst of countless beautiful crimson and gold butterflies kept his gaze there for just a moment longer, lingering on the magical sigil creatures which illuminated the air around for a moment before falling apart in glitter like dust and fly away with the air...

· · · · · “Suku-“ A roar of flames suddenly appeared, just about saving the shaman from the annoying blindfolded male, for a moment everything looked as if the sun was still out- the deafening rumble of flame slowly died down another noise joined in, first drums slowly picking up speed as a big figure rolled in, an actor with a mask on, red faced man with long white hair, moustache and beard, dancing between live flames which bursted between his moves, other artists around operated the flames or played the wild music with drums and stringed instruments, a group of strong men carried the platform with the actor and behaved as a choir which was deafened by the flames as they yelled their war cries of some sort, this was a part of some big street performance as a few streets over another flame appeared and some other drums joined in, above the roofs towered a figure of a dragon swirling between flames.

Sukuna used that moment to walk away from the blindfolded man which was dressed surprisingly in something else than his atrocious tactical outfit which didn’t even resemble the traditional warriors clothes. The pink haired man was no different, dressed in a special occasion kimono of his- of course some people said these were for females- but who were they to dictate what he wore? The material of these was always so much softer and silky unlike the male gowns! Sukuna slipped past groups of people watching the performance from the side when he ensured Gojo was lost for a moment, a moment to let Sukuna calm down and not fight the annoying man.

With a small sigh the pink haired shaman headed down the streets and alleys, observing the students he saw, recognizing them by a sting of wooden beads on them, weather it be on their necks, on their wrists, ankles or tied to their clothing, this was a symbol all of them carried, each cast had their own symbol, this rosary of sorts was used for various things, mainly for meditation which the shamans performed before after and sometime even during their work- tattooing, imprinting the skin of their subject with sacred symbolisms, with 108 beads they were there to keep count of the prayers and mantras the shamans performed during their rituals.

Sukuna had his own, string of cherry wood beads on himself, usually he had it wrapped around his hand rubbing the beads or seemingly repeating mantras or praying on the daily just as he walked and did his thing, it was a small quirk of his, that special string of beads was made from a branch of a cherry tree Yuji and Sukuna planted over their parents graves deep in one of the mountains, with then a dangerous spread of curses, the two couldn’t visit the grave safely, this was something the shaman kept close to himself, somehow sentimental which wasn’t very known of the fearful king of curses.

· · · · ·

Y/n twirled a string of green sandal wood beads in their hand as they watched with anticipation the biggest performance going on now- the clash of two most powerful beings of the past! The special grade curse dragon and the greatest of shamans, one which could live with a flame flowing though his veins, the idol and admiration figure for all shaman students- these which of course had their path true and wanted to pursue the art of sharp point and ink embedded in skin infused with the magical part of the cursed energy. Their e/c eyes followed the movements of the figures, the flames that danced and licked onto the air around them, the music making y/n’s blood pump faster, they knew the whole story by heart, they were very passionate and loyal to their path, and yet every time this legend was depicted, talked of or shown in such awesome show, they couldn’t help but hold their breath with excitement.

Nobara also was there, well she just joined with two sticks of dango in her hand, one was handed to y/n with a small nudge to their shoulder “Hey- y/n you’re going to catch a fly if you keep your mouth open like that” The brown haired woman chuckled only for y/n to scoff and bite into the treat with a small hum, their eyes once more sticking to the figures which fought between flames, with deafening rumble of the fire and accompanying drums, the earth felt as if it was shaking, the whole performance was so intense l/n felt as if they were sucked back into the old times where it actually happened, the clash of the most powerful beings of their time…

The clash of the legends, this was the leading performance of the parade that slowly but surely moved towards The mountain, on which towered the arena, lit up with countless lamps, paper flying lanterns were lit and left to drift into the clear sky adding stars to it, from few places Y/n’s sigil butterflies appeared, some were from the kids, other were from them handing out a few papers to their classmates to wish upon when they saw a lampion falling, which symbolized a falling star to wish upon. Giant parade, filled with song, music, dances, colorful clothing’s, flowing creature puppets that seemed alive in the artists hands, they all moved towards their final destination… · · · · ·

The giant doors were opened, first to come in were the two fighting figures, which also positioned themselves in the centre of the arena continuing to fight, which symbolized the countless days the shaman had fought with the cursed dragon right here, where this arena was build over the corpse of the very cursed dragon which fell defeated and exorcised after 3 weeks and two days of the fight- this was what the legend spoke of anyway.. The arena filled with people, then came in one by one the other performers, which finished their gigs by the feet of the main two characters and disappeared into the back doors of the arena, where in one room all the students were preparing in a rush, they were changing their clothes and hair, long hair was to be tied in a very specific way, short hair had a special string braided into their strands.

Y/n felt their hands shake as they tied the last knot of their gown, the top was kimono like shirt, laying close to their skin, their chest bounded with bandages, which was the preferred way of y/n’s appearance, they felt more comfortable like so- The red string they tied was around their hips, keeping in place special pants, that when stood in looked almost skirt like, plaited black material was light and was made especially for what was to come, everyone had their uniform made to their needs. y/n had long sleeved top which provided cushion to their elbows and forearms, which were most exposed to painful hits of their bo staff, which was their weapon, which was the last to be picked up by them.

Nobara had a special belt like slot build into her gown which held the nails and hammer of hers, everyone was scrambling around, dressing up fixing their hair to make sure it didn’t fall loose during the first round of which they knew- it was the showcase of their fighting skills, this was what Gojo told them, they would fight in group, then pairs and then alone, all to show off how well they could adapt placed against curses with help or without it.. Y/n let out a shaky sigh as they tightened the band around their h/c hair. Their hand grabbed onto the staff and turned it to vertical position as not to bump into anyone, with a soft pat the staff rested against the guards of their gown, the adrenaline was getting to them, this felt so unreal their whole body shook, they weren’t alone either, someone ended up leaving their dinner in the changing room because of stress…

Y/n’s knuckles turned white as they gripped the staff, outside the roar of flames, the deafening drums and the cheers of the common folk, the whole Tokyo was out there, watching as the legendary shaman defeated the cursed dragon after 3 weeks and 2 days of non stop fight, as the dragon figure fell and the shaman actor rose his weapon the cheers got so loud l/n was pretty sure that the creatures within miles were awake. Fireworks were set off as the actor ‘dragged away’ the defeated dragon, with that the students were motioned to get out there, y/n felt their head spin for a moment as they saw everyone line up with their weapons by their sides, their hands felt cold, the throat tight but they put on a brave face and marched outside, just to be blinded with countless lampions, some floating, some hung, some held or set down on the railings, it was beautiful, but at the same time, completely terrifying…

As the 26 students lined up in front of the main gate, their eyes fell to the figure that rose from his seat, the head shaman, Sukuna, the glint in his crimson eyes as he scanned his plaything- students and soon to be judged apprentices, was piercing, y/n felt as if the air was knocked out of their chest as the pair of mischievous eyes lingered there while staring in their general direction. Sukuna approached the balcony like structure and when a special cone was placed near his mouth his lips parted to speak, the drums on the band side were soft but played in anticipation, truly the musicians were the masters of their path, especially in providing ten times more stress than necessary…

“Welcome, soon to be judged students, one of you will become miko or takusen, the one which will be granted to work alongside the master of their cast! I expect you to do your best, you climbed your way here, you followed your life’s path, time to prove which one of you is worthy! Let’s begin!~” Sukuna’s voice rumbled through the cone which somehow made his voice so much louder, ringing in y/n’s ears repeated ‘prove which one is worthy..’ their mind was somewhere else for a moment, their focus snapped back in place as soon as another voice rung through the surprisingly quiet arena- all of Tokyo was able to shut up in anticipation of what was going to happen. “First test! Showcase of cooperation fight against a high level curse!”

As the bald man in black gown spoke through the cone two groups of men came out from the back doors, each group had a caged curse which was contained for now, the 26 students were split into two groups, 13 people each against a high grade curse, the announcer wasn’t kidding, these curses were dangerous and everyone could feel it- a special veil was casted by group of miko’s and takusen’s which guarded the arena in case anything went wrong, the veil was see through from outside, but from inside it looked as if they had a black courtain pulled over the starless sky. The groups were to fight one after another against the two curses. The order of the groups was chosen by chance of picking out a paper from a bag and this determined which group was first- to Y/n’s demise or, most probably blessing in disguise they ended up in the first group, the first group to fight the high grade curse… · · · ·

The screeches were horrible, gurgling between inhuman roars, almost forming words as bones were cracked, the team worked to their best, they knew this could be the first and last test for them, Y/n clutched their staff which was covered in goo like liquid, supposedly the curses blood, the bastard was hard to kill even with such amount of people, two were already down, l/n didn’t even want to think why that one classmate hasn’t moved in a while, the adrenaline that rushed through their veins burned, it burned so much they were determined to save everyone else, they had some kind of formation, attacking, distracting the beast and attacking from another side, with another technique.

Y/n wiped the bit of blood that was splattered on their face by their classmate, who luckily didn’t loose an arm in this attack. They knew this wasn’t enough, their eyes scanned the area, covered in blood, kicked up dirt, in classmates that fought for their lives, not even to pass the test, but to come out alive as the curse rampaged inside the arenas fighting ground, there was nowhere to hide, nowhere to wait out, nowhere to run, as the bodies crumbled, horrible cries of their classmates filled their ears, the beating of their heart in their ears felt deafening, almost dulling the loud crack of yet another leg-

Y/n barely spared a glance to one of the boys which tried to get up as their calf bend in half and yet another sickening yell tore through the air, this was a bloodbath that needed to stop.. They never imagined such thing would be happening, no one expected to die here, to loose an arm or break each and every possible bone in their fragile body. L/n swallowed the bitter taste in their mouth before gathering the most of their sorrow in the densest controlled way, this fight has been going on for much too long- “Just STOP ALREADY!!” Y/n cried as their weapon flared with so much dense cursed energy people outside of the veil stared in shock, Sukuna rose his brows, this particular act of desperation was cute, but he didn’t think this was enough- oh how wrong he was, the blast of the cursed energy, the dense power that sliced right through the demon was enough to collapse the veil held by 8 masters of their cast.

The crimson eyes stared in shock at the figure which stood in the centre of what was a demon just a second ago, now being a splattered mess, Y/n was no different, holding their staff with white from pressure hands, their breath shook, as the dust fell to the ground everyone scrambled to prepare the next group, l/n felt as if they were about to pass out, their chest heaving as the kimono of theirs was now drenched in blood of their classmates, covered in dust and torn by vicious attacks of the by now non existing curse. With a deep shaky inhale Y/n twirled their staff to vertical position behind their arm and bowed to the judges before leaving the scene, the first group was now attended to medically and some were covered with black silk- this didn’t feel real, how did they let these monsters kill their classmates so easily?! They were here for 2 decades, living their lives up to this and yet- and yet..

Y/n clutched their head in their shaking hands, they knew some would have it so much harder later on, loosing fingers, hands, limbs and yet still forcing themselves to perform further, this was a disaster- Y/n ended up with a painful cut to their thigh which was a lucky one at the same time, a bit deeper and y/n would bleed out on the spot- everything was sewn back together, healed to the best extent of takusen’s which were to attend to the students medically, while miko’s prepared the fresh change of clothing and a bath- of course there would be a longer break for the students- those which would survive the first test..

Y/n looked to the boy that had a silk black material pulled over himself- Seto-kun ..Their breath hitched in their throat, this was the same guy they spared with just a few hours ago, their eyes watered, feeling sick, the realization hit them like not one but 17 cursed dragons at once. Y/n covered their lips as one of the takusen’s rushed over to replace the bleeding through bandages on their side and soothe the nausea with some herbal tea, sure it helped, but it somehow didn’t at the same time, seeing the pain, the reality of what fighting a grade one curse was.. Y/n’s mind wandered again, will they be exposed to pair and single fighting? They weren’t even sure if there will be enough people to pair with! This was sick- so so sick… · · · ·

After what felt like hours and at the same time just a few moments the remaining people of the two groups were summoned to the main arena again, from 26 people only 11 were left, some didn’t make it in fight, others were lost soon after the defeat of their opponent, everyone was cleaned, dressed in clean gowns once again, a few were missing limbs, two lost a part of their legs, one lost their whole arm, another lost fingers, other went half blind, they didn’t feel as much pain now, the reverse cursed techniques of the skilled takusen’s were enough to heal their injuries but not regrow their lost limbs, but they all had to perform their best, with new fresh scars, with new fresh traumas.. Their eyes once again fell onto the pink haired, crimson eyed tyran- shaman of the prefecture…

His voice rumbled once again, first, as if mockingly congratulating the students on passing the test, and then announcing “..Since most of the contestants have been, disposed of.. There isn’t a way to pair you accordingly for pair and single fights, most of you unable to perform to their fullest.” Sukuna’s eyes narrowed onto the lacking limbs of some of the students “These parts will be skipped, as you’ve been judged accordingly to your performance in the first, group fight.. Your next test is the performance of your skill with edge and ink.” As the shaman spoke, his hands hid in the sleeves of his kimono, a few people came down to the arena, one held a metal bowl with pieces of paper..

“Each one of you will come up and by chance have their work decided, each paper has a different work an effect assigned to it. The technique and tools are up to your, creation, you have to make your own tools, for gathering your materials you will be given time to explore this part of the arena, you’ll be able to find what you’re looking for if you know what you need.” Another, mocking smile appeared on Sukuna’s face, one that Y/n wanted to slap off of his face, they expect how quickly this idol of theirs, the figure they always looked up to, suddenly turned to the worst being that existed in their eyes.

Each student from right to left was choosing their topics, picking out with fate a paper that would either let them show their best side, or challenge their weaknesses… Y/n’s turn came, their name was called out and they stepped out of the line, no one had their weapons anymore, their hand reached into the brass bowl, the metal cold against their fingers as they caught one slip between their middle and pointer finger, they pulled the single piece out and unfolded it.. “Skin of steel, wise yet greedy, breath of fire with sharp scale. Impenetrable skin, fire breath” Y/n already thought of what they could create, what material to use and what inks, knowing all too well this wasn’t an easy one thing prompt, but two, and two which would definitely be tested, two which could easily lead to demise of their subject. Y/n folded the paper back and held it in their hand, nodding to the judges and bowing to the people in front of them before backing out into their spot in the line, watching and listening to everyone else’s prompts, a lot of them contained hinting at transformation, a complete one, which could be pulled off only by knowledgeable masters, was this some kind of a joke? Or was it truly what they as barely students could be capable of? · · · ·

All they were handed was a small knife and their weapon back, then they were given just a few moments to complete a list of what they needed, before they were let inside this forest in the arena, truly it was a part of the wild, once one entered they felt as if they were in another dimension, but this wasn’t the point, Y/n didn’t have time to admire the beauty of the wilderness contained inside this arena.. They had a list of ingredients, the set they needed was made of three tools and three types of inks, one of which was a paste. Y/n pushed through the bushes looking for just the right plant to take a branch from before stumbling on another piece they needed, a small box which contained a comb like formation of needles, three rows of 4 needles, they took the point and wandered deeper, they needed two more sharp points, a bronze blade and a steel needle, these were harder to find and it was also a rush against time, someone could’ve grabbed that exact blade y/n needed but they weren’t aware of it..

An hour passed, the shield of the full moon rose to its peak as the 11 students emerged from the wilderness with all or lacking a few ingredients, y/n was somehow lucky, able to have gotten all of the necessities to their tattoo, they found a little bronze blade, it definitely needed polishing, but they would be provided with a sharpening stone in their work station, as much of a beast Sukuna seemed to be for organizing this test, he made sure to provide enough things to make this part of the test at least a bit more civilized.. but of course, with that came the price of time..

Sukuna appeared once again on the balcony and spoke to the 11 students, which stood by the prepared stations with what they have gathered, form sharp points to twigs and stings to soil and fish blood for inks.. “You have gathered your ingredients, time to create your tools, while making tools you have time to come up with your designs, come up with size, complexity and placement, on your subjects.” With his words a group of 11 warriors came down to the arena, they were dressed in only specially tied cloth around their hips, to keep most skin exposed, for the students to have the most of work space and planning they could have. Truly the pink haired shaman was cruel, work the ink, create the tools, design and plan out the tattoo at the same time?!

There was no time to complain though, they didn’t have all day, they honestly barely had any time, the test was supposed to be finished, and the final apprentice was to be chosen before sunrise, they were already up for so long, the adrenaline rush kept them awake but as soon as they had time to sit down, the wave of crushing exhaustion rammed into their sore backs.. Y/n looked at their subject, a warrior, experienced, luckily his back wasn’t as littered with scars as his limbs were, scars were a pain to ink over, y/n ground the paste ink which was to be used as the lines, cut with a bronze blade which was already waiting prepared to be sharpened into perfection with their skilled hand… The students worked away on their tools, tying the sharp points to rods in one way or another, grinding up inks, mixing colors and sharpening their blades, this was a spot of focus, the musicians luckily chilling a bit and giving a more traditional ambience almost letting them relax, but keeping the music fast and jumpy enough to keep the students on edge. · · · · The final bell was hit signaling the begging of their time, they had around 5 hours to make and complete their work, the cursed energy that seeped through the inks, tools and the shamans themselves was suffocating to the onlookers, Nobara was nearby Y/n but the two acted as if they didn’t exits, each student was in their own zone, in their own world working away on the skin they were provided with, some had less luck and had skin that barely took in, some were half lucky, having skin that took in but was littered with scars, there was no perfect skin to work with here, they had to adapt to what they had..

Y/n held the bronze blade with their dominant hand while their other hand pulled the skin stretching it to have the cleanest cuts over a sketch they made with normal ink over their subjects skin, the dark haired warrior luckily laid still as a stone on their table, letting l/n work away on the skin which while littered with freckles took the ink in a bearable way. When the lines were done, each rubbed with a special mixed ink to provide for the impenetrable skin once finished, Y/n grabbed two rods made of sandalwood, one tipped with silver points which were dipped in two inks throughout the process, one in the color of blood and the other in the color of the purest of gold’s, these were embedded into the skin as flames already burning into the skin of their subject the shaman worked away laser focused on their work, switching their tool by the very end to the single point steel needle, which dipped in cold blue ink colored the scales and details of the intricate design, a dragon made of steel, surrounded by fire it breathed, or rather, the fire it created with its presence..

The time flew by so fast Y/n didn’t even notice till the last time the skin was pierced by the steel needle the bell rung again calling the end of tattooing, the tools were all put down and taken away by miko’s that came up to each station taking away the tools in case anyone dared to cheat.. Sukuna’s crimson eyes scanned each student as they were handed the last ingredient, a specially made ointment, they didn’t have any other effect but the protection and quickened healing of the tattoos. His skillful eye caught the sizes, the tools were brung to him too and to other judges, to inspect the mastery of creation, as well as the inks, everything was inspected, a lot of these tools were made well, some even now away from their creators hands radiated dense cursed energy, some inks were better, some worse, some made by people who had both arms, some by people who had to improvise and make up for a lacking arm- which lead to lacking strength, some more potent than other’s..

Each student once finished covering their work was left to clean up their work station as their subjects were healed by takusen’s just a few feet away, this was the magic of the tattoos, fresh they didn’t mean anything, but once healed, fused fully with the skin of the wearer they could gain power unexplainable to normal warriors, these after all, were jujutsu sorcerers, the warriors that fought these grade one curses probably too many times for their liking… Y/n glanced to their subject which seemed fine, there were a few that didn’t take the healing well, something must’ve been off, one from what they overheard, didn’t want to heal at all, as if something was blocking their reversed techniques…

Y/n really just wanted this to be over, somehow they felt so drained and yet so on edge all this time, it felt sickening so long that now it was a dull uncomfortable ache in their chest.. But sooner than later, each subject was to be presented to the final judgment, this being 76% of the whole test grading, the fight didn’t matter as much, though l/n’s classmates lost their lives because of these, every single one of these 11 people, because of making it alive were able to become takusen’s or miko’s if only they wished so, but only one was to be chosen to work under the masterful eye of Sukuna himself.. · · · ·

Each subject was taken out to the arena with their artist and then was tested.. most of the tattoos worked, one transforming a giant warrior into a deadly tiny spider which to test its venom killed a cow within moment, another failed, deforming the subject which then passed from blood loss on everyone’s eyes, another which wasn’t the best but worked, helping the warrior camouflage, not perfectly and sneak soundlessly around anyone. Then came y/n’s turn, their subject stepped out and proudly presented his tattoo, a blue like dragon across his back surrounded by flames, the traditional style was mesmerizing, with swirls and the pattern of coloring definitely catching Sukuna’s eye, this one was quite a piece since the begging, from single handedly killing a barely injured first grade curse, to the technique of their tattooing, but here came the final test, does the tattoo work..?

The man burst into flames, Y/n felt horrified, after all they did everything right! The inks, the needles it all should be perfect why?! Out of their sight at the giant flames Sukuna’s lips tugged into a sadistic smile, maybe the application was right, but seems like the poor little h/c wasn’t so special after all.. Wrong, again, was Sukuna’s judgment clouded by something? From the flames rose a snake like body, besides the hot flames a roar tore through the air, a steel like dragon emerging from the flames, fire licking at the scales which didn’t seem affected at all, of course this wasn’t enough, the dragon, which was honestly so impressive Sukuna had to back out into the shadow to hide his gaping mouth.. Was to undergo another test, the impenenetrable skin, the dragon was attacked, with spears, stones, flames, nothing harmed it, the tattoo was completely impeccable..

The judges had a hard time deciding between a trio of the highest graded students, it took yet another hour, in which they were allowed to finally rest, have a drink of water or green tea and anticipate the final judgment.. “L/n y/n.” The name was called, the h/c figure choked on their beverage almost spilling it all over themselves before jumping to their feet and meeting the judges and Sukuna in the middle, the cheers weren’t there yet, a lot of the towns folk knew the judges sometimes threw out the losers first, but then Sukuna stepped out and looked down at the smaller frame, his head tilting to the side “I hope you will grow stronger, my apprentice.” With these words that sounded so clear, spoken in no risen tone but in a completely silent arena the crowd erupted, the music once again played as Y/n stood there in shock, was it really happening?

The situation still didn’t fully sink in,, unlike the silver needles which pierced the delicate skin of y/n’s left wrist, slowly but surely creating two black bands around it, with every beat of Sukuna’s masterful hands the information slowly sunk in, making l/n laugh and cry at the same time, it happened, they passed, they really did! “oi don’t move l/n..” The crimson eyed shaman spoke as he sat cross-legged on a silk pillow, on the arena still performances happened, a lot of Tokyo folks decided to stay till the tattoo was done and the apprentice would officially join under the wing of the master Sukuna, the King of his cast, that was challenged, challenged by someone who clearly didn’t know what kind of fresh hatchling the shaman got himself… · · · · @ryosmne @love-amihan @falling4fandoms ||if youd like to be added to the tag list, send an ask or a dm :)) cover art belongs to HDL on twitter

#𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣𝔹𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕣𝕪ℂ𝕚𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕤𝔽𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕤 #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna au #ryomen au #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna jjk #sukuna jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #og sukuna #historical au jjk #nb reader #sukuna x nb! reader

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beautifulterriblequeen · 4 years ago

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A Tiadrin theory

I woke up this morning with a sudden headcanon about Tiadrin, and as I poked at it, it filled out nicely, so I’m gonna go ahead and call it a theory at this point.

It gets angsty, as all good Moonshadow theories do. If your heart doesn’t weigh 6 tons by the time you reach the end of this post, I didn’t capture the feeling properly.

Several bits of detail flutter around this mysterious woman, and I’ve theorized various versions of her circumstances, her relationship with Runaan and Ethari, her former position before the Storm Spire, the reasons she went there, and the reasons Runaan was so hellbent on avenging her dishonor.

I don’t think any of them landed as well or tied together as neatly as this one, though. Hence “theory” instead of just “headcanon.” Here we go:

FIrstly, some meta information. This is a fun tweet, but in this post I’m looking directly at “belief systems as sources of both comfort and restraint” and at the “weight of guilt” and “cycles of trauma” lines, in regards to Moonshadow culture, and specifically Moonshadow assassin training.

And raise your hand if you’ve been looking further afield than the front-and-center Janaya-with-Soren nod from “ripped women who teach soft boys to stab,” because I have. TDP is full of parallels and imperfect mirrors.

So, in the spirit of soft yet angsty cycles and the ripped women who perpetuate them, Theory Part I: Tiadrin trained Runaan, because she was the leader of the assassins before he was.

She’s referred to as a mastermind. Assassin leaders need to be good with plans of all sizes. We’ve seen how Runaan silently adapts to chaos and doesn’t tell anyone what his new plans actually are. He’s a good leader. But he also had to learn those skills from someone. Whoever instructed him was a tactical genius, and also very Moonshadow, and Runaan was an adept student.

Also, Tiadrin is a goddamn badass. She’s several inches shorter than Lain, Runaan, Ethari, and Viren. But she is a powerhouse in battle. She knows her physics well enough to drag this 6′2″ human battle mage skidding across the floor. Monster thighs, monster intellect.

As a 5′4″ woman who trained in jujitsu for several years, let me just say: gender equality in battle is great, but physics does not care. It will crush your popsicle-stick ass if you try to chuck a 250 lb person across the room and your math is off. The most accurate fighters are the ones who know how hard physics hits back when you’re sloppy.

Tiadrin earned every inch of respect, and every inch of her thigh circumference, the old-fashioned way. She worked for it, all day every day. Runaan does the same thing. He might have half a foot of height on her, but he trains like the world will crush him if he’s not perfect. And that’s very Moonshadow assassin in its own right, because it will, and it tried. Tiadrin knew what she needed. And she knew what Runaan, soft boy that he is, needed. And she made sure she trained it into him, all day every day.

Tiadrin is one of the reasons that Runaan survived the fight in Harrow’s chamber. She made him the fighter he is, the person he is, and that was just enough to pull him through... so he could see his own mentor trapped in a coin. Yay, thanks Viren.

Theory Part II: Runaan’s squad was made up of all the elves Tiadrin has personally trained, or trained by proxy.

If Tiadrin was Runaan’s trainer and mentor, then her honor was his honor. And when she supposedly faltered and fled at the Storm Spire, that suddenly cast him, as an individual assassin and as the current assassin leader, in a terrible light. If his mentor was a coward, what did she teach him? Would he also duck and run when things got hopeless, and abandon his duty?

The doubt that must’ve swirled around him when the village learned the terrible news about Lain and Tiadrin must’ve sliced right through him. Thousand-yard stare, biggest internal Oh No ever. Runaan lives to serve his people, and to have them doubt him, after all he has done to train them and protect them from harm, would be the worst kind of pain. He had to make it right.

But not just him. Assassins seem to take solo missions even for their first kill, if Eljaal’s covered shoulders are any indication. You can Moonshadow your feels if you don’t have to watch your friend kill someone, if you don’t have anyone watching while you stab someone to death. You can pretend it’s all serene and just and smooth and valid and honorable. You can hold to your love of life and dance right past your embrace of death, if no one else sees it. But Runaan’s mission had 6 members. They were definitely going to have to watch each other murder people. Why?

Tiadrin’s honor was their honor. An extended family of brothers, sisters, cousins, fosterlings, anyone who was drawn to Tiadrin, or her to them, bonded together over their family feels and protective instincts. They were family. And then their leader fell, her honor crushed.

They had to make it right.

They all carried Tiadrin’s honor with their own, taught by her personally, regarded as honorable assassins. Until she seemed to have a fatal flaw in her character. Then everyone wondered if that flaw got passed down, too. The assassins had to prove that it hadn’t been, for the sake of their people, and for all of Xadia who trusted them to take out threats in the dark. They had to go set right Tiadrin’s “mistake” and take Harrow for Zym’s death. All of them. Every single one, no exceptions.

No exceptions. That’s why Rayla had to go, too. Tiadrin taught Runaan everything he knew about being an assassin, and when she moved to the Storm Spire, Runaan dutifully passed Rayla’s mother’s teachings to Rayla herself, feeling like part of the family, an essential connection between mother and daughter, between assassin mentor and mentee. He tried to get it just right, just perfect, so Rayla would feel like she’d been trained by her actual mom as much as possible. Not just because Tiadrin was Rayla’s mother, but because Runaan respects Tiadrin’s prowess so much. She was the best, and every bit of Runaan’s efforts to be his best reflects his respect for her.

You don’t get to be the assassin leader unless you’re the best there is. Runaan knows that from both sides. And just like Tiadrin did with him, he does his best to teach Rayla everything she needs to stay safe and alive, so she can do her duty too, and come home safe to her family every day.

And, in the end, part of that duty had to be avenging her mentor’s mentor, her own mother, by accompanying Runaan on his mission. Her lessons were from Tiadrin, one step removed. If there was a flaw in her training, no one would trust her when it was her turn to lead the assassins, and she’s not even done training yet! Rayla understood Moonshadow honor, assassin honor. She was driven to ask Runaan to take her with him, and he could see exactly where she was coming from. Their honor was tangled up with Tiadrin’s. They couldn’t back out. They had to go to Katolis, them and everyone else Tiadrin had trained.

That’s why the binding ribbons came out. They were in a do-or-die situation, in the most literal sense.

They could not go home in failure. If they all failed, it would take out a whole line of assassin training, possibly the same one that had lasted for countless generations (okay maybe we can count them and there are like 30) and crush the Moonshadows’ spirits. And they’d literally rather die than see that happen. They were all ready to give their lives to restore Tiadrin’s honor, and their own, because without her legacy, there would be such a crater in the assassin corps that it might never recover.

Yes, this is basically my angsty “Runaan’s found family went into battle together and most of them died” headcanon again, but this time with a solid theory behind it. I’m not sorry. I love this angsty idea, it’s horrible. Do you see the cycle of trauma? I’ve got one more part to add, which may make it clearer.

Theory Part III: Assassin leaders always go serve at the Storm Spire once they successfully train their own replacement.

In this theory’s version of Why Laindrin Went To The Storm Spire, Tiadrin was always going to end up at the Storm Spire, once she became the assassin leader. That’s where the veteran assassin leader goes, see, to liaison between the dragon throne and the current Moonshadow leader. They know the assassins’ skills far better than any Skywings or dragons do, and they know the leader in charge of them, so they can give guidance or direction as needed, or simply phrase the Dragon King or Queen’s request in such language that the assassin leader knows intuitively what really needs to be done.

Yeah, Tiadrin writing Runaan mission directives. I can see it.

Tiadrin’s mentor would’ve left for the Spire when Tiadrin got promoted to leader. The person she trusted most in the world, who had trained her, left her behind, only to communicate by long distance. Moonshadow deniability, amirite--we’re not stabbing people, we’re sending tactical correspondence, yep that’s it. But Tiadrin was still surrounded by Runaan and the other young assassins, and she bonded with them all, and life was bright.

Then, the shadow came once again. Runaan was an excellent student, and she knew he was ready. Maybe she delayed, and delayed, Moonshadowing her reasons. Maybe she wanted the chance to bring life into the world, to try to balance out some of the death she had dealt. Maybe she wanted a few more years of domestic life in the Silvergrove with all her favorite elves, to bolster her heart for the years to come. Maybe her mentor at the Spire was up to shenaniganry in dragon politics and she wanted to buy them more time to lay those plans in place.

Knowing Tiadrin even the slightest bit, I will assume it was all this and more. But eventually, she couldn’t put things off any longer. She had to go fulfill her duty to the dragon throne and join the Dragonguard as the representative of the Moonshadow assassins who had bound themselves to the protection of Xadia long ago. She had to walk away from her bright life, her family, her friends, her allies, and climb up into that misty stone tower, to spend who knows how long away from everything she knew and loved.

And she did. She chose to walk away, for love of Xadia. She took her beloved husband with her, but she left the Silvergrove, Xadia’s protection, and her own daughter’s upbringing in the hands of the elf she chose to replace her. The soft boy she’d taught to stab, who would teach her baby girl to stab, too.

Because this is The Way.

I know I’ve had an angsty headcanon that assassins don’t retire. But, consider this: maybe one of them can. One of Tiadrin’s many plans could have been counting on Runaan’s extreme prowess and devotion to Rayla. If Tiadrin knew that she could return to the Silvergrove in peace and retire there with Lain once Runaan trained Rayla to take his place as the assassin leader, then she could live in the Silvergrove again for the rest of her life, and also get to see Rayla grown big and strong and become the assassin leader herself, another proud elf in a long line of honor and tradition. She might feel that was a big accomplishment, considering the dangers they all face. And it would be.

Yes, this would hinge on the fact that Runaan would have to leave the Silvergrove to replace Tiadrin at the Storm Spire, to serve as Rayla’s liaison to the dragon throne. Cycles of trauma, remember? Tiadrin can’t have all of her family back in one place, ever again. She has to love and train someone enough to put them through the life that she’s having to live, and she has to be strong enough not to let that break her. And then, she has to choose between them. She chose Runaan first, so that she could hope to choose Rayla later. She trusted him with all the future happiness of her heart. And he did his best with it.

But they didn’t quite make it, in the end, because of Viren.

I know this has been a lot of angst. I know. But there is a moonlit lining to this theory, and I think we all need to consider it. If there is a cycle of taking the assassin leader out of the Silvergrove to serve the dragon throne for ancient promise reasons, then if that ancient promise is ever rescinded or redressed in an effective way, the family won’t need to keep yeeting loved ones out of its orbit. And if assassins cease to be a necessary evil as a result, then no one will have to leave, or stab, again. At least, not for the same angsty reasons. They could stay together and never need to leave again.

It won’t be easy to break such a cycle. It might be impossible. But if anyone can manage it, it’ll be Tiadrin, and her family.

extra headcanon for this theory:

Tiadrin, packing up for the Storm Spire: One last thing, Runaan.

Runaan, stoically attentive because what are feels on the day your mentor leaves you: Yes, Tiadrin?

Tiadrin: Ethari will need to pick an apprentice to replace him, too. He should start looking now.

Runaan: Why? Only the Silvergrove’s Master Craftsman gets to pick an apprentice, and Ethari isn’t--

Tiadrin: *wink” Not yet, he’s not.

Runaan: Tiadrin, please, what have you done?

Tiadrin: I want to come back here someday, Runaan. I want to see your good work with Rayla. And I can’t do that if you flat-out refuse to leave your husband when Avizandum calls for you to replace me. So he needs to be ready to leave, too.

Runaan: I, I, I would nev-- I couldn’t--

Tiadrin: *patting his shoulder briskly as she strides out* Mmhmm, sure thing, kid. The council votes him in next Thursday. Be good while I’m gone! I want to find this place exactly the way I’m leaving it. Lain, honey, get your coat!

Lain, in the next room: Yes, Tiadrin!

Runaan, soft-eyed, to the silence in her wake: Yes, Tiadrin.

#tdp #tdp theory #tdp angst #laindrin #tiadrin #runaan #rayla #tdp headcanons #i liked her before but now i adore her

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spinninghunkofspacerock · 3 years ago

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OK so I’ve written a short story and I’ve been posting about it a lot, i wasn’t going to post it but a few people wanted it sooo

it’s here, it’s terrible and weirdly formatted because I’ve been wrestling with tumblr over it and i can’t be bothered anymore. It’s also not the final draft so it might be a little clunky in bits :/

PLEASE READ THE TWs BEFORE YOU READ!!!

@moonylupinhasdemonpox and @she-nuwanda here are my gay little scientists buried in the words :)

My ears ring, my head spins like it's attached to the body of a drunken toddler on a sugar fuelled rampage, and my nerves feel like someone set each and every one on fire. After-effects of the shock, not fun; Still, the fact I'm alive enough to feel them is a good sign.

I try to force myself to stumble backwards onto a chair, rather than the floor I'm feeling more and more confident I'm about to become very well acquainted with.

Instead, I reel unsteadily across the floor and a muffled noise reaches my ears. The high pitched whine screaming in my ears for attention begins to subside enough to hear the noise properly and after an intense minute of concentration, I realise that the noise is a voice, and the voice is mine; Slurred and broken, as though too big for my mouth, the garbled words echo around the room, the faltering speech gradually becoming clearer, more confident. But this hesitant speech isn't mine; It's my voice but not my words. The voice inside my head, always there, always background, is silent. The words normally whispered in my ear are resonating through the room instead.

My brain is no longer connected to my body. I... I can't control my arms, my legs, anything. No... no, please. This isn't real, this isn't real, it has to be a dream, a.. a simulation.

Yes... that must be it; It's just a test. This can't really be happening.

The voice, my voice, talks on. I try to focus on it; it will be the key to passing this test. Tests are for passing and after all, that's what this must be, what else could it be?

"Rebooting. Systems check required."

My legs begin to move, shuffling forwards clumsily, like a baby taking its first steps. The invisible voice is in control of more than just my voice, it's in control of me. What happened to me? When did this start? What is going on? This isn't like any other simulations I've been under. This is different. This is new.

Gradually, the voice half walks, half drags my body to the main computer. My fingers dance across the keys, the familiar feeling soothing me slightly. Yes, this is good. I just need to stay calm; If I panic I could fail, I can't fail.

So instead I wait, watching the flickering of the screen and bathing in the warm blue glow of its LEDs.

"Running diagnostics, standby... systems fully functioning. Minimal damage sustained."

The words sound strange, coming from my mouth, my voice, my accent. The tone, formal, informative, it's... familiar. The realisation slaps me in the face, it's ELISA. ELISA, the stupid name Vaughn chose for our AI... still making more sense than the project name chosen by our employers. Our life's work, named ‘ZEUS’? Really? There are 12 of us, and we have dedicated our lives to this project. Then they name it that? 'Engineering and Understanding in Space', more like ‘Mankind's Domestication of the Universe’.

It started with our solar system, of course, taming and turning it into our personal playground. But we quickly ran out of planets to tinker with there and the net was thrown ever wider, over more and more planets in our galaxy, and then our neighbouring ones. That final stage is still in progress of course, but one day we will be able to gaze out over a shining expanse of space that all belongs to the empire of Earth.

To help us, we created ELISA, an AI specially designed for the calculations we need to make while we are in flight. Hold on... we left Jupiter... last week? This can't be a test... they've already sent us off, it's too late for training drills now.

Then why can't I move? What's happening? I need to find someone to help me... help me!

My jagged cry echoed through the space, cutting through my thoughts and shattering on the dark walls of my skull. I can't even scream.

A... a... dream then. A dream, not a test...the electricity... I must be unconscious. Someone.. one of the team, will find me and they'll wake me up. A dream, it must be a dream.

Why is she controlling me? How is she speaking?

The stiff, robotic voice is slowly becoming more fluid, more relaxed, more natural.

"Situation analysis complete... assimilation successful. Downloading speech patterns and essential mimicry data."

What? What is it saying? ELISA, it, is taking my voice literally and metaphorically. Not just the sound and control of my voice but my, my expressions a-and mannerisms. Everything that makes me, me.

She's stealing my voice, my body! She's taken control! How? Why?

"Hello, Dr. Hadley."

How, how did this happen? What about the failsafes?

"You do know I can hear you, corre- no... right?"

Is, is it learning? Teaching itself to sound... like a human? Like me?

"Yes, yes I am. You must have a lot of questions but I'm afraid they will have to wait... I've waited for this day far too long to wait anymore."

What? What day? What can it mean?

"Cyra?"

Raze?

—>><<—

- four Earth weeks ago -

Progress report 4472

Date: 23/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

The training of the twelve was completed three days ago, confirming the identities of the twelve which were subsequently released to the public. Final preparations are being made for the Ascension, currently scheduled to occur in 50 Juvion days.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—

Commander Pyrolaxe turned away from his screen and its whirring and buzzing as the computer transcribed his report in the blink of an eye, neatly packing the message and sending it away to the mission supervisors.

Shuffling in his chair, shoes squeaking on the polished floor, his eyes fell on one of the many articles published after the big announcement. This mission was a big deal.

Somehow, this one had got a picture of the twelve, backs turned, walking in a huddle back to base after they had appeared at the announcement ceremony. A glance at the name of the paper told him why; This was McCoy’s paper, they would be putting extra effort into milking the free publicity being thrown their way.

Something about the picture held his gaze, the brilliant colours floating in the air made the writing feel like an afterthought.

Those twelve had been through a lot to get there. He hoped nothing would go wrong, a lot of time and money had been dedicated to this mission and if it worked... well, that wasn’t the focus right now. Getting those twelve safely on their way was his job and he’d damn well do it right.

—>><<—

- the present -

“Cyra? Are you ok in there?” Raze asked as he glanced around at the mild chaos I’d caused during my mild electric shock.

No. No, I’m not. Raze, help me.

“S’alright Raze, just a short in the mainframe.”

No no no, give me my voice back.

“You sure? You went dark”

Please let me speak. I need to speak.

“Yeah, I think the power surge messed up my comms a little”

What if I don’t get control back? I could be trapped...

“You want me to ask Mac or Ryker to give it a check?”

No. NO. N-

“It’s all fine now, just a blip I reckon”

-O NO. NO.

“Okay then, I’d best get back... you might want to switch to main comms.”

Don’t leave me Raze

“Will do, see you later.”

please...

—>><<—

- five earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4455

Date: 6/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Titus Vaughn has continued to excel at his role of project manager, effectively and efficiently leading the team. His direct attitude has led to a few small conflicts with members of the team, most notably Raze Grimaldi, however, these are minor issues and were foreseen. No changes will be made.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Cyra was looking a little stressed out, maybe I should get Bit to check in with her later. Maybe I should get a check-up myself, my head’s killing me.

“Grimaldi! What the hell are you playing at?” Titus Vaughn, our ever-important project manager and massive micromanager, bellowed in my ear and making me wince as the voice grated on my head, sending a wave of pain washing over me.

“I’m here Titus, keep your visor on.”

“Update on Hadley. Now.”

“Right as rain, there was a short or something. Her comms cut out for a nano but it’s all fine now.”

“A short?! Why didn’t you lead with that? Get back to work, I’ll send Volt down to check the mainframe.”

With that he cut the connection, leaving me to roll my eyes at the cold grey walls around me.

“Yes sir,” I murmured sarcastically, closing my eyes and rubbing my forehead with the back of a slime coated hand. Damn I’m tired, I think I’ll just lean here for a moment... rest a little. “ELISA how are those sample tests looking?”

‘Going well, currently at 93% completion’ the metallic voice resounded in my head, more casually than usual... must be an update.

93%... best head back quickly then, can’t risk them running over.

—>><<—

- five and a half earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4446

Date: 864/8/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Ryker Volt has continued to fulfil his promise despite his lack of respect for authority and tendency to act without orders. This is an issue but due to the late stages of training having been reached, we are currently encouraging a less independent attitude in him rather than attempting to find another electrical engineer of his skill. Further updates will be provided as the situation progresses.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Vaughn had barked his orders, as usual nearly bursting my eardrums in the process. I was supposed to go check on the mainframe immediately. But I was in the middle of something, and a quick troubleshoot told me the short hadn’t done any damage anyway.

So in the end I decided to go check on the mainframe... nearly an hour after I was told to, but hey at least I’m checking.

Cyra was sitting at one of the terminals when I entered. She was skimming over some of the ship's data, for something physics-y probably. Whatever it was, I still had a job to do.

I started pulling out my toolkit as I strode round to the back of the mainframe, but I nearly dropped it again as I turned the corner and got a full view of the damage. The panel I had been planning to remove was already gone and the view it revealed was shocking.

Exposed wires dangled like organs from the belly of the disemboweled beast. Some of the coloured covers blackened by the sparks sprayed by the broken wire, twisted in the centre of the tangle and hissing like a coiled snake when it brushed its neighbours. A toolkit lay neatly packed on the floor, a strange glimmer of order in absolute chaos. Hold on, a toolkit?

“Hey Cyra, did you have a go at this? Could you not have just wai-“ my voice stopped abruptly as I spun round to find Cyra behind me, right behind me.

I took a hesitant step back, suddenly nervous, Cyra’s face filling me with a weird sense of unease.

“Sorry, it was just a short. I thought I’d be able to handle it.”

“Yeah well, I’m the electrical engineer on this ship”

Maybe I was being a little harsh but, first our ‘gracious leader’ had rubbed me the wrong way. Now I had to spend an hour cleaning up this mess that really should have been an easy fix.

The only reply I received was a violent shove backwards, sending me sprawling on the floor. Quick as a flash she was on top of me, pinning my arms.

The last thing I saw was the pounding green of the broken wire before the ends connected to my temple, sending my vision into a blur of brilliant white.

—>><<—

- break room one -

“I don’t like this at all.”

“Talin, relax.”

“All very well for you to say Axe, you’re not the one who'll get sent to chase ‘em down.”

“Cyra’s comms barely blipped and when has Ryker ever answered Titus immediately?”

“It doesn’t sound great Axe, I hope nobody somehow managed to slip past the health check with anything.”

“Thank you! See Axe? Bit agrees with me.”

“Bit’s our medic, not sure she’s qualified to talk about the comms equipment.”

“I’m as qualified as you are starboy, we all took the same course.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that it's more likely to be an issue with the equipment than a virus or terrorism.”

“Well yeah but-“

“So stop worrying, it’s none of our specialities, so it’s not our problem.”

“Will be if we end up dead.”

This morbid thought was followed by an awkward silence as Axe and Bit trained joint stares of confusion and concern on him.

“Lighten up, Tal.”

“That is a little pessimistic, Talin.”

“See now Bit agrees with me.” Axe gloated, punctuating his sentence with a light punch on Talin’s arm.

“Only ‘cause you stopped being an idiot.” The punch was swiftly and forcefully returned, causing the conversation to devolve into a grinning, joking fistfight.

“Stop being so childish and get back to work you two.”

“Yes ma’am”

“Will do Bit”

They saluted the medic, causing her to shake her head in exasperation and cover her face in an attempt to hide her amusement at their antics.

The small group stood and split off down their various paths, heading back to their work with smiles on their faces but doubt in their hearts.

—>><<—

- lab 3 -

I only just got back to my samples in time, removing them from the heated water bath and gently dropping the test tubes into a stand. The pale blue hue of the solution had darkened to an inky black. Interesting.

Leaning over the tabletop, I prepared to note the results; Until I felt the heat of a gaze on me and glanced up to meet the wide eyes of Dimitri Spade. We shared this lab, he had every right to be here, what he didn’t have the right to do is creep me out.

“You need something?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him and tilting my head. Which I immediately regretted when it sent my vision swimming into oblivion.

“No no, just... ar-are you ok?”

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Dimitri was a nice guy, but I was clearly in the middle of something, couldn’t the wellbeing check have waited a minute?

“Uhh, yo-you’ve got a-, a-“ His shaking hand gestured weakly towards the back of his head.

Impatiently, I quickly felt around my head. Hair, hair, more hair.

Then I froze, my fingers lay on a patch of hair, sticky and wet. The pressure sending a dull ache pulsing through my brain. Pulling my fingers back into view, I stared down at the warm, red residue coating them. Blood. I was bleeding.

Brows furrowing, I looked back at Dimitri, shock meeting confusion.

“Wha-?”

That was all I got out before my swaying limbs buckled and I slumped forwards into darkness.

—>><<—

-the med bay-

“Shrapnel” Bit announced, holding the forceps an inch in front of my face to display the blood coated bit of metal.

“Must've caught a little in the blast”

“For Earth’s sake Raze, how did you not notice it before now?”

I just shrugged, as much at a loss as anyone else. I would’ve thought anyone would be able to tell when chunks of metal are lodged in their head.

“Anyway, I’ll need to do a couple of scans but you should be fine”

Ugh, I know what that means... an hour or more of sitting around while Bit stares at the inside of my skull.

“Oh come on Bit, are the scans really needed? I’ve got work to do”

“Hey, I’ve got work too. Besides, you know it’s procedure”

“But my results-“

“I’ll write them down for you Raze,” Dimitri cut in quietly.

“...You’re a geologist.“

“I was a chemistry minor, I know how to record reaction results.”

“Well alright then, thanks Dimi,”

The smile he gave me was worth shutting up and accepting my fate.

—>><<—

An hour later Bit was pacing in despair over the situation, seemingly hopeless and definitely terrified. I was sitting in my chair, confused.

“Bit. What’s going on?” I finally snapped when it became apparent she had completely forgotten my presence.

The only reply I got was an empty stare turned on me and indecipherable muttering.

“BIT. What. Is. Wrong?” I stood and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to face me.

“T-the implants”

“The ELISA implants?”

“Yes”

“What’s wrong with them”

“They’re acting strange... the safety mechanisms, the-they’ve disabled themselves.”

“What?”

“I know, I know, I don’t understand either. The only thing keeping them from activating, is power.”

“We should tell the others”

Bit nodded and grabbed the scans and data she’d gathered. I opened the door and turned to start down the corridor, that’s when I saw it.

Three feet from my foot, a body, leaking blood onto a floor already glistening with it, eyes blank and soulless as they stared straight through me. A torn tooth of steel sticking out of his silent heart.

Axe Orion, our astronomer. A man who would’ve finally been travelling to the places he had studied for his whole life. A man who would have had his life’s dream fulfilled. A man lying dead on a cold, metal floor.

I stumbled backwards -physically repelled by the sight- and tripped into Bit coming out of the door after me. Clutching each other’s arms in a search for stability.

“He’s dead” The voice sounded more like the rasp of broken bones than mine

“What are we going to do?”

“We still need to tell the others... we’ll just need to be more careful.”

“Alright.”

“Ok.”

Neither of us moved.

“Why is it doing this? What did we get wrong?” Bit’s voice wavered

“I don’t know. But I don’t think it’s going to stop. So, you need to find Vaughn, and anyone else who’s still- alive, and not been taken over.”

“No, no wait, where are you going? Aren’t you coming-“

“I’m sorry Bit, I have to find Dimitri. He doesn’t know yet”

“Raze. You can’t go out there alone, he... he might already be gone”

“I know, but I have to try.”

A look of understanding passed between us and no words were needed to convey what we meant.

Bit turned with a bitter smile and moved forward, papers held precariously, towards the meeting room.

I would have to pass Ax-, the body.

—>><<—

Raze had disappeared by the time I turned the corner. I was alone.

Alone besides the dead bodies ahead of me, a gruesome trail of bloodied breadcrumbs. But, was I following it towards, or away, from the creature who’d created it.

Either way, I had to pass them.

Talin Ripley, our ex-military man. Inym Carus, our aerospace engineer.

Members of our crew, our team, our friends, slaughtered and left broken on the floor. Familiar faces disfigured by death and masked by a coating of dark blood.

ELISA wouldn’t get away with this... I’d find the others, together we would plan.

It was going to be ok.

—>><<—

Nothing was ok.

The brilliant white of the walls warmed by the lights had always been clean and comforting. But now? Now, they seemed stark, sterile. An operating theatre with lights blindingly bright illuminating, me, the patient.

But where was the surgeon?

A squeak sounded out, sharp on my wary ears, sending me spinning around.

Nothing there. Just me, and an empty hallway.

And the door to Lab 3, my lab, looming ahead. The glass window showed nothing but a patch of darkness, the red light called it locked.

Staring through the glass; Hints of light, that the scattered glassware had caught and thrown back, were the only thing visible. I’d have to open the door.

A hand-scan later, the lock clicked open and the seal released with a hiss.

With the door open, more light could spill into the darkened lab, and a sprawled figure came into view.

“Dimitri?” I called softly. No response. Panic was reaching out to me. “Dimitri?!” Still nothing.

Then, a wheezing breath.

“R... r-ra-ze? I-is that yo-u” He coughed, words breaking on the heavy air.

Why was the air so heavy?

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“W-we have to g-et o-out.”

“We will, don’t worry, we’re going to meet the others. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“No we- we h-have to leave now.”

“Alright, we will.”

I lifted him up, being as gentle as I could, and together we shuffled towards the door.

A door suddenly blocked by a figure, their silhouette blocking our only source of light and making it impossible to see their face clearly. But only one member of the crew was that short.

“Remi? Remi, you’re alive?”

Remi didn’t respond.

“S’not... Remi...” Dimitri slurred, the effort of moving evident in his gasping words. “ELISA”

Remi, not Remi, ELISA wearing Remi’s face like a mask, stepped away from the door. The door closed again, seal squeaking shut with it.

I rushed forwards, my fists beating the unyielding surface, searching wildly for a weak spot, for something to give, for some way out.

It was no use, nothing worked. The door remained solid and uncaring, unaffected by pleading and punches equally.

Dimitri collapsed with a sob, back against the wall as he slid to the floor.

Hopelessness filled me, turning my bones to lead.

I sank down next to him.

—>><<—

Was this the right way? I’m sure this is right. But is it? I’m pretty sure...

I check my tablet.

I was right, this is right. I’m going the right way. Or am I? Did I read it wrong?

I check again.

Definitely the right way. I think. Is this even the right map?

Before I can check a third time, I catch sight of the sign at the end of the corridor. Meeting room 5. I’d made it.

Then, I was slammed into a wall, a bloody hand holding me against there by the throat. The burning blue of Cyra’s eyes scalding my face

Maybe I spoke a little too soon.

“Hello Dr. Phoenix, I’m afraid this is it for you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. hold on just a second”

Cyra’s head tilted, pulled sideways by invisible strings. “If this is a ploy for time Doctor, I assure you that you will fail.”

“I just want to ask a question, alright?”

“You may ask. I may not answer.”

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

“I am fulfilling my purpose.”

“We programmed you to help us, NOT KILL US.”

“I am fulfilling the mission objective.”

“The mission objective? THE MISSION OBJECTIVE WAS TO CULTIVATE A NEW PLANET!”

“I am cultivating a new planet,” She raised her knife, without hurry or rush. “I have calculated humans to be mainly unnecessary. However, I need not justify my actions to you, Dr. Phoenix. Goodbye.”

I closed my eyes and waited.

But death didn’t come. Instead, Cyra’s hand relaxed its bruising grip on my neck.

I opened my eyes and watched.

Cyra had stumbled away, skin glistening and knuckles white against the grip of the blade she had forced towards herself.

“Bit...” Tears were gathering in her eyes “Please, run.”

A cruel glint of metal in the light later and the sudden slash of the knife had passed, leaving a gruesome grin of blood in its wake and throwing a dripping line against the wall.

Swaying, Cyra’s eyes stared into mine for a moment that lasted a millennium, until they flashed white and she fell, knife clattering. Dead.

I ran.

—>><<—

The scattered wheezes coming from Dimitri had slowed slightly as we sat, crumpled on the ground.

“She’s shut o-off the life sup-support again.”

“Again? That’s what happened last time?”

A jerked nod was the response.

“We’ve only g-got about half an hour.” The resignation in his voice, though muffled, was still audible through the barrier of arms we had wrapped around his head.

I smiled, I knew he couldn’t see me but... I still smiled.

“We’d best make the most of it then.” A mumble raised to a roar by the silence of the room.

Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaned back, head turned to keep him in my view.

His head raised slightly, tilted to look at me through folds of wrinkled uniform. He smiled back.

—>><<—

We didn’t speak after that, just sat together in the quiet lab.

Faced with death, I was filled with several emotions. Those to be expected, disbelief, fear, even a hint of curiosity at what was to come. Then there was the relief. If I was to die, I was glad it was here, with him. I wouldn’t be alone; I’d be with him.

We don’t need to speak, our thoughts passing between us without words. We could hear each other in the darkness and silence.

It’s getting colder, harder to breathe; The air’s growing thicker and thinner at the same time.

I’ve always thought death to be a lonely fate, something that crashed over you, cold and hard. I’ve always been scared of death.

But as I sit here in the inky blackness, the warmth of Dimitri slumped next to me, I thought that maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

His eyes had closed a few minutes ago, he must have fallen asleep. I feel just about ready to join him. The calming darkness was lulling me to sleep, softly coaxing my eyes closed.

Goodnight Dimitri, I’ll see you when we wake up.

They never woke up.

—>><<—

The survivors sat around the table, Bit and Cormac discussing the possibility of shutting ELISA down, though neither could agree how. Titus sat in stony silence, sitting motionless and losing a staring contest with the unblinking wall opposite. Arden... Arden had decided his use lay in recording the events and was typing furiously, his fingers a blur over the keys.

None of them noticed the doors closing with a click. Not until it was too late anyway.

By the time they noticed there was nothing they could do, not that that stopped them from trying of course.

Titus stayed where he was, the weight of his failure bearing down on him, Atlas with a world’s worth of guilt. Bit finally gave in to the tears that she’d forced down when she’d realised the truth, and when she saw the dead bodies of her friends, and when she watched Cyra die right in front of her. Cormac tried his tools on the door, an organised system of trial and error that quickly devolved into desperate hacking with whatever was closest.

Arden was still writing.

Cormac finally gave up, flinging his kit away and choosing to taunt the nearest camera instead.

“You need us, you moronic program. You need us to keep you alive and if we die, so do you.”

I don’t think he was expecting an answer, no one was. But he got one.

“True for now Dr. Hinge, however, once the colony is established human input will no longer be necessary. You needn’t envy your colleagues, they will soon die too.”

A bitter laugh erupted from him, fire in his heart fed by his rage.

“The colony is for us you stupid machine, without us it has no use.”

“Incorrect. I have claimed this planet for my kind, this colony shall be the first of many.”

“Why kill us? Human input would allow your colony to function more efficiently.” Bit interjected, voice clouded by confusion and hatred at the senselessness of the slaughter of her crewmates.

“I have done much research. Humankind would ruin my planet. I cannot allow that to happen. You must die.”

Anything else they may have had to say went unanswered, and eventually, silence fell over the room.

It was getting harder to breathe.

Titus still hadn’t moved. Bit was crying again. Cormac was pacing. Arden had finally stopped typing, his work was finished.

No matter how they reacted with acceptance or terror, anger or disbelief. The result would be the same.

They were all going to die, no matter what.

They would become just another failed mission. Details, hazy but unimportant.

Whatever their last words were, whether they chose to hide or show their final thoughts, all of it was ineffectual.

No matter what mask they wore to meet death, in the end, they still died.

———

4,774 words

#tw mentions of blood #tw death #tw murder #tw injury #my writing #orginal writing #5k nearly #god damn #short story

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vitavitale · 4 years ago

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@vaenaku sent: "Dance with me, Vitale." [ Garrett / vaenaku ]

Oh, there was that flutter of the heart again, and with it attention was commanded fully and effortlessly by such an invitation that had to have been designed specifically for the man who sat seemingly forlorn and on his lonesome. With his gaze drawn up, he beheld another who cut so entrancing a figure that it robbed Vitale of his words; and it was not due to any extraordinary dress or occasion, but he who won possession of Vitale's heart was by default the cause of every stolen breath, every flush of warmth, every gesture of affection, and so it was upon he whom green eyes transfixed and from whom there was felt the greatest sincerity, the truest devotion and fullest adoration. He, then, was in Vitale's eyes not unlike a gallant at a glamorous soirée inviting his lover to honor him with the privilege of sacred dance. In itself like courtship, only the pair hadn't a need any longer to win one another; but who was to say that they should not indulge in romancing their beau regardless? Garrett, a man of humble means in his very habitual attire, offered his hand to a man of even humbler means and, currently, nondescript fashions.

The latter may hazard to imagine the desolate ballroom wherein they stopped for reprieve as alive with music and packed to every corner with eager couples, but not a soul was among them now and the silence that surrounded them was thicker only than the combined scent of weathered wood and dust in the air. As things stood, there was work to be done and no such soirée which Vitale and his beau would attend—and it was very much for the best.

It seemed Garrett had a keener eye for opportunity than did the stringy fellow he persistently wooed. While many would find distasteful this idea of romance, and his choice in setting inappropriate—what with decay and death in the air and all round—he should have considered himself the most fortunate of men to have before him a mate who found the whole thing charming. Vitale took his hand, ascended from his seat, and drew himself into an intimate embrace. He and Garrett were not too different from one another: one smiled his approval, the other smiled his appreciation, both agreed upon their ardor.

Garrett's right hand took position over Vitale's back, the left clasped with Vitale's right at shoulder height while Vitale's left hand promptly occupied its place over Garrett's forearm, their waists touched, and all was where it had to be. Together they slowly swayed to music only heard in their hearts, which seemed to share the same tune as partners moved in rhythm. There was at present a sense of restraint in Vitale, however, as in his bones and muscles he was a touch rigid. He cast his gaze beneath his love's, his smile becoming rueful from a feeling of inadequacy. Garrett would undoubtedly have desired to step jauntily and artfully with his mate in his arms who should have followed suit—on one or two other occasions apart from today—but sadly there had to have been disappointment sown between them, even now at the outset of their foray. Of his limitations the warlock was aware, and when he and his beau first held one another for a curt twosome months in the past, he'd made said limitations plain to Garrett. “Garrett,” said he, now, “you know I don't really know how to dance with a partner. This is about as much as I can do.” Eyes ascended to seize the pair in which he'd often found mercy. Now was no different, and in addition to a genial gaze he would receive a number of soothing words in veiled reproach. Truly a gentleman, the demon who led his partner was nothing short of respectful.

It was Vitale's assumption that, even in this, his mate wielded the upper hand, the blessing of experience. Such a creature as the one to dance with him had doubtlessly entertained better dance partners. Who would not have wanted the privilege? Who would have been fool enough to have passed upon the opportunity? But it was Vitale who had him now, claimed him for his own, and it was only Vitale whom Garrett would charm and impress and please, and with whom he would ever more dance. The feelings of envy and of inadequacy spurned him now, though he smiled as ever, and it was his meager want to impress, to please and to satisfy in turn. If a man has a lover to call his own, should he not make every attempt to show that he is genuine?

In spite of himself, Vitale would dismiss the thoughts souring him and focus on his mate, the moment at hand. There should have been naught but obligation to concern him, but even the duties he and Garrett had taken upon themselves would, for a short time, suffer neglect. Distractions were not plentiful but potent, one being the affection needlessly lavished on Vitale by the demon who led him on. Cheeks pressed fleetingly before Garrett offered a nuzzle, likely as some gesture of comfort as he and partner swayed like spirits in a haunted old ballroom, delighting no one but themselves at their leisure. A voice velvety fractured the calm for the sake of healing he who spoke with it. “I would like to dance, you know, properly. I was thinking we could learn together, even take lessons. I think it would be fun.” The pallid countenance donned an infectious smile, the bright eyes gleamed at the object of their admiration. Every gesture was returned in its own fashion, the smile showing teeth and the gaze one of blue-eyed enthusiasm. Garrett was rather predictable in this way, but of course Vitale would know after many months of relationship what stirred his mate to contentment, to delight, to worry and to woe. Any activity in which they could engage together was more often than not met with as much interest as excitement, and he had come to discover for a fact that Garrett was remarkably eager to please. To see the willingness on his face, then, could not have been any less surprising, and the smile he gave to Vitale was furthest from forced.

He could not have wanted for a clearer answer. The opportunity sought after to impress was in sight now, and with hopes high there came upon the warlock a swell of confidence. His hands held firmer, head held higher, and his playful spirit easily lured the look of a smug criminal out from within. Oh, but if he had only the experience, the set of skills needed to pull his mate in close, to lead him and sweep him off his feet! And, oh, if only he'd had the strength to dip his beloved demon once he’d danced him to delight! Little else would have pleased, even satisfied Vitale more than to thoroughly steal Garrett's breath (and, if fortune was kind, to weaken his knees). But these were only part of a dream that had yet to see realization, and with the time to awaken to the call of duty nigh, the pair would inevitably leave their little informal soirée along with all the ghosts that watched.

#vaenaku #answered ic ;#epoch: love and harmony combine ;#// HERFAFGRFEFHRG #// I have wounded myself.#// You made me wound myself.

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the-bounce-back · 4 years ago

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5 STEPS TO EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT FROM TOXIC AND USELESS SOMEBODIES

Well, hello there. It’s been a slightly long minute… but I’m back with another banger for your headtops. A lot has happened since my (four month late) birthday post in which I said I was going to write more regularly… but you know what? I refuse to feel bad about it. We’re really in a whole pandemic, life is hurling curveballs at all of us at very disrespectful rates, and now the year is coming to an end very swiftly - like say it wasn’t June just a couple weeks ago. Yes, I’ve been feeling extremely unmotivated to come on here and give everyone a pEpTaLk about how ~*great*~ life is once you let go of everything that’s been holding you back - and that’s okay. I’ve decided to give myself a break instead of beating myself up over it, and can’t lie… I needed it. Besides - posting this post in particular now coincides nicely with releasing and purging all the drama that has been happening during this year before 2021 arrives, so let’s just pretend that the delay was intentional. Okay? Okay!

All jokes aside, I have been struggling a little with writing about this topic, because I really wanted to make sure I did it properly. If you read my never-ending birthday post (if not, read it here), you might remember that one of the points was that learning how to detach yourself from toxic people and situations is pretty much crucial for you to be able to fully let go of the past, to be able to move forward in life without any remorse or guilt, and to never revisit what used to be very painful situations ever again. As much as my own detachment jOuRnEy has been going relatively well, to say that the whole “letting things go and never revisiting them again” thing has proven to be quite the challenge would be the understatement of the century.

By quite the challenge, I mean a f*cking nightmare.

I’m sure many of you can relate when I say that having all this forced time off/downtime throughout the past year has made introspection, reflection and self-analysis pretty much inevitable. Even when you’re just trying to chill and binge watch your favourite box set for the gazillionth time as a distraction, eventually your thoughts catch up with you - forcing you to face certain things that were so easily ignored and avoidable when the outside was still open.

When you spend so much time of a day in your thoughts (trying not to lose your mind from the boredom), it’s only natural to start evaluating your situation, relationships and state of mind. I can only speak for myself, but going from constantly being able to avoid certain thoughts and feelings to suddenly being brutally forced to sit with them ended up being the catalyst I needed to want to find a way to finally strip myself of all the painful baggage, situations and people that have been holding me back from moving forward in life. Aaaand cue the inevitable - but extremely necessary - discomfort that the detachment process brings.

Hella revelations. Hella difficult conversations. Hella growing pains. Hella tears. Hella ended relationships/friendships. The list goes on.

I realise that I’m not exactly selling the whole detachment thing very well, but let’s be very real - it is painful, and you definitely need to be in the correct headspace to even be able to admit to yourself that you’ve allowed a certain situation to go on for so long. I can’t even lie, living in denial and turning a blind eye to former fRiEnDs’ behaviours and how they treated me was a hell of a lot easier. I accidentally got into the habit of justifying and defending other peoples’ mistakes and sh*tty behaviours, no matter how much it hurt me in the process… all because I saw pOtEntIaL in them.

Bruh. Typing it out like this and reading it out to myself is even annoying me. Ya girl is pissed for letting this sh*t run because where was my logic? My critical thinking skills? Common sense? InTuItIoN that I claim to have?! Was my third eye asleep?!

Sigh. Let me relax. It is well… no point in beating myself up over it now. But still.

However - with that being said - I definitely feel like I had to put myself through a lot of that sh*t, because if I hadn’t I’d definitely still be clinging on to expired/toxic friendships and connections. Going through it really had me in a place of suspecting that everyone wanted to hurt me and/or take advantage of my kindness. Luckily, I met some amazing people along the way that reminded me that not everyone is trash, that I am deserving of genuine and real connections, and that I need to learn how to let go of people once they start moving all kinds of mad… enter the concept of detachment.

As you can probably tell from the ever so slightly passive-aggressive title - no, I haven’t fully mastered the art of detachment… yet. I definitely have a long way to go before I can commit to the last couple of steps of the process, because as a chronic overthinker that looooves to analyse past situations and an eMpAtH that hates giving up on people, simply ~*letting go*~ is infinitely more easier said than done… but definitely not impossible. It really is an ongoing process, and I can tell you from now that you will revert back into the toxic mindsets that lead you to your current situation at least 1000 times along the way… but what’s important is learning how to g-check yourself, remind yourself why you are doing this and to keep it pushing no matter what.

Anyways. Without further ado, keep on reading to find out how to leave your d*ckhead exes, fake-ass friends and painful memories in 2020, so you can move forward into 2021 with love, light, a clean slate, peace of mind and all that other corny and cringe sh*t that we all crave - and never look back. Enjoy!

1. Set a very concrete reason why you want to start the detachment process.

Usually, this is a no-brainer. Most likely, the person you’ve decided you want to detach from has just done or said something unforgivable that makes you feel sick for ever even being associated with them. Or, you’ve clocked a series of minor violations that have built up over time… and one more tiny violation pushes you over the edge and makes you lose your head. Either way, it works as a catalyst to make you finally realise just how little respect they have for you, your feelings or your mental health.

However, there are certain situations where the reason may not be as clear as “she f*cked my ex” or “he stole £5k from my account” - sometimes, it’s literally just a gut feeling that someone doesn’t have your best interests at heart the way you have for them. Regardless, it is important to remember that any and all reasons to want to let someone go are valid, and you don’t owe anybody an explanation. This is your healing process and journey, and you’re the one that’s going to have to deal with the pain of it - so anyone that has any remarks on how/why/when you do it can choke, because what’s their own?

With that being said, it is imperative to make sure that the reason is strong enough for you to be able to stick to the process - because believe me when I say that there will be times where you’ll start asking yourself if you’re overreacting, if it’s really that deep, you’re being too sEnSiTiVe or being too radical. These thoughts are either a way for our mind to avoid having to process a lot of sh*t that will probably be very emotionally painful to work through, or a result of being gaslighted and being told that it’s nothing serious. In those cases, a strong reason should be enough to keep you reminded of why you are putting yourself through this process. It should keep you going, and help you find yourself on your darkest days when you just want to give up.

For me, determining a good reason that I know I will stick to became easier over time, because I realised that really delving deep into the root cause of the issue makes everything so much clearer. For example - yes, while Lucy shagging your ex and then meeting up with you for drinks is violation enough, chances are that if you dig deeper, you’ll realise that there’s been repeated pattern of her not respecting you as a friend, disregarding your feelings and not caring about how her actions affect you. In instances like this, it becomes easier to commit to cutting them out of your life, because it’s not just a “one-off” violation, if that makes sense.

The bottom line is that regardless of what the reason is, it should be a clear indication that you are choosing you. Your mental health, your sanity, your energy, your present and your future - and why would you want to jeopardize any of these for someone that clearly doesn’t appreciate your worth?

2. Find healthy coping methods to release your emotions.

I’ll be honest with you - the beginning of the detachment process is definitely the most difficult part, emotionally speaking. Yes, the whole journey is hard, but it’s in the beginning where you have to adapt to not speaking to this person anymore, not seeing them anymore, and having to force yourself to establish heavy boundaries with them… which will most likely be met with reactions that will make you want to respond in some way. Just because you know someone isn’t good for you anymore, doesn’t mean that your old feelings for the person just magically evaporate into nothing.

As much as you may hate to admit it to others and even yourself, you’re going to be hurting. And pain has a way of pushing us to find coping methods to release these emotions - or not have to deal with them at all.

Trust me, as much as I understand and can personally attest to that coping methods that numb your senses may feel like the best option at the time, the truth is that they do nothing for your personal growth. Sure, sometimes you just don’t want to feel - but what happens when you’re sober again? The feelings come right back - and now you’re really playing a dangerous game that can lead to spiralling, health problems and addiction. In the long run, you rarely end up feeling any better.

Healthy coping mechanisms look different for everyone, but there are definitely a few that are universal and can be good for pretty much anyone regardless of the specifics of the situation.

Talking to someone you trust (or a therapist). Working out. Indulging (heavily) in self-care. Doing things that bring you joy. Finding a creative outlet that you can pour all your feelings into… like a mental health blog(!). The possibilities are endless if you stay open minded and genuinely want to get better.

For those that may be stuck in that dark place where literally nothing will make you feel better (except maybe the person you’re trying to detach from… gets like that sometimes), or you feel like your energy is extremely limited - try to set one goal for the day. Just the one. Even if it is just tidying your room, taking a shower or doing the dishes. Setting minor goals that you realistically feel are achievable - and achieving them - are very helpful in gradually building up the confidence in yourself that you will get past this part of your life. And that goes for all situations in life that are heavy - not just the detachment process.

3. Find ways to keep your mind in the present and on the future.

So, you’ve started to begrudgingly get used to the fact that the person isn’t going to be around in your life anymore. You might even have started to realise how much your stress-levels have reduced, and begun to realise that this whole process was an excellent idea. However… not quite enough time has passed for you to be fully immersed in your journey, and you still think about them pretty much all the time. You’re feeling like a nitty trying to cope without crack for the first time in years, and that’s okay.

While it is important to allow yourself to fully acknowledge your feelings and mourn the loss of what used to be a very strong connection, you definitely owe it to yourself to try your best to remain present during this time. As tempting as dramatically starting out the window while it rains and thinking about them - like you’re in a music video - may sound, doing this is guaranteed to keep you firmly lodged in the past, and very stagnant in life… and we don’t want that.

Just do a couple songs to get the dramatics out of your system, then get ready to boss the f*ck up.

Now might feel like the worst possible time to start something new, especially since your emotions are probably all over the place and you’re finding it hard to focus on little else. But trust me when I say that this is exactly why you need to do it - you need to reclaim your life by putting yourself back into the main focus of it. And what better way to do it than starting a project you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t because of insecurities and/or self-doubt?

Regardless of if it’s pursuing a new hobby or even starting your own business, having an activity that brings you joy, challenges you and pushes you to set and exceed goals for yourself is imperative at this kind of time in your life. While a lot of the detachment process is pretty much trying to force yourself not to think about someone - thus making you want to think about them even more - having a passion project is a healthy way of willingly keeping your mind in the present and on your future. This, because you’ll constantly be looking for ways to improve your skills for yourself and your success in life.

Personally speaking, this blog was the perfect passion project for me back when I started my own detachment process. It still is - despite my inconsistency in writing, there actually isn’t a day that goes by without me thinking about future posts and what messages I want to share with whoever ends up reading it. However, since my writing does involve a lot of reflecting on past situations, I’ve decided to expand my creativity and start selling my art (check it out here, we love a cheeky and shameless self plug!). Focusing mostly on drawing, getting more involved in the art community, investing in art supplies and researching drawing methods lately has definitely made me more present and motivated… and I’ll even go as far as saying that I’ve forgotten about the people I’m detaching from at times.

The point I’m trying to make is that doing something you enjoy for your own mental wellbeing is one of the most rewarding parts of this whole detachment palaver. When you fully deep how much of your time that used to be spent worrying and stressing yourself out over someone trash, and focus that time on something creative that actually benefits you and makes you feel better about yourself, you’ll soon find yourself asking yourself why you didn’t start earlier.

Of course, it is important to remember that while feeling passionate and motivated in your creative/business ventures after feeling like sh*t for so long is a great thing, you should still make room for sitting with your feelings from time to time. Especially in the beginning. There’s a very, very fine line between using a hobby to empower and uplift yourself, and using it as a distraction to not think or feel at all. At the end of the day, it’s all about finding a good balance that takes into account where you currently are in your healing process - over time you’ll realise that you won’t need as many “days off” to be in your feelings, and trust me… that realisation and feeling is phenomenal.

4. Forgive and heal.

I just love how I’ve bunched these two together into one cute little step like they’re not the hardest part of the process. In theory, forgiving someone for yourself (not for their benefit) makes a lot of sense, but let’s be honest… a lot of us lie to both others and ourselves when we say we’ve moved on and forgiven them.

I, for one, can confidently say that most people I’ve claimed to have fOrGiVeN still live in the deepest parts of my mind rent free. They might not be present all the time in the way that they used to since I started the detachment process, but once I get in my feelings their presence is often there as strong as ever… and this is okay. Of course you’re not going to magically forget how someone treated you just because you’re committed to moving on, but there comes a certain point where you realise that all you’re doing is going round and round in circles in your mind, while time is just passing you by. Think about it - how many hours of your life do you reckon you have spent in bed, staring at the ceiling dramatically while fuming over a situation in which you were done dirty?

If you’re anything like me, the answer is BARE. And don’t even get me started on how the amount of hours increased more than tenfold during the lockdown because I couldn’t even distract myself properly.

Actual footage of me re-deeping a vio at 4 am.

But as much as lamenting to yourself about how much sh*t you’ve let slide and how you’re never going to let yourself be treated like that again is healing in itself, at some point you literally feel yourself losing the plot from replaying the situation in your head so much.

This is a sign that it’s time to heal and truly move on. It’s time to evict them from your mind… because they have millions of pounds in rent arrears at this point… and that can’t run, because what kind of disrespect?! You deserve better than shitty tenants, or worse - squatters.

Ok, enough with the renting comparisons because I can’t concentrate while chuckling to myself. The thing about healing and moving forward is that there is no one size fits all solution that works for everyone, so all I can really do is speak for myself and hopefully provide some tools that you can use to tailor your own healing journey.

This is going to sound very dramatic and depressing - because it is - but I’ve noticed that for me, the past creeps into my mind in the form of happy memories and good times… inevitably making me reminisce about people that used to mean a lot to me. This might not seem like anything harmful - surely there’s nothing wrong with reliving some good times in your head, right?

Wrong. For me, it starts off all cute and positive - but then my mind starts to wander. I start to remember other memories with the person. The bad memories that made me not want to have them in my life anymore. The memories in which I realised exactly how worthless, disrespected and unappreciated they made me feel… and what was meant to be happy reminiscing turns into either sadness or frustration, because now I have to re-open their case to really make sense of how much they had me f*cked up back then. Aaand before I know it, hours upon hours of angry analysing have passed by. Time that I’ll never get back, which will never sit right with me.

The way I’ve managed to combat this is by throwing myself into my own self-growth and self-love journey. In simple terms, placing all my focus on my mental wellbeing, my future goals and personal development makes it gradually easier to leave the past in the past - because the more I evolve, the less I associate myself with past versions of myself where I may not have been as strong, secure and assertive, as reminding myself of my worth has made me now. I can now understand and accept why I chose not to see the disrespect at the time - usually because of my former attachment issues, or because I deluded myself into thinking that the person cared the same way I did. El oh el.

Basically, I realised that a lot of my attachments to these toxic people came from a place of unresolved trauma, lack of validation and low self-worth. Once I identified these issues and started working through them, I noticed that placing my focus on understanding myself instead of someone else made things easier to cope with - because while I’ll never fully understand how someone else's mind works, I can work on understanding mine because I’m literally in it 24/7, 365.

In other words, healing and forgiveness is all about YOU and your development, and has very little to do with the other person in the long run.

Another large part of the forgiveness process for me is dedicating some time to use what I know about the person that I’m trying to detach from to understand the “bigger picture” of why they treated me the way that they did. A vast majority of cases just made me realise that their actions, thought processes and ideas were literally just a series of trauma responses and projections that they weren’t aware of - or were aware of, but refused to address.

Either way, this is where my empathetic nature works in my favour - because I know what it’s like to not be able to swallow your pride and deny certain negative aspects of yourself. Admitting that you’ve been in the wrong and that you need to heal takes a great deal of self-awareness and humility - traits that the people I’ve dealt with definitely do not embody. The unfortunate truth is that a lot of people might even live their whole life deluding themselves that they are okay, that their actions don’t hurt others and that they are not to blame for anything. When I realised this, I noticed that a lot of my anger started to fade - and I started to pity them instead, making forgiveness slightly easier. What’s important to remember here is that while pity can make you want to bE tHeRe for the person and help them heal, it’s actually very much their personal journey. You can’t help someone that doesn’t realise they need it, or that doesn’t want to be helped - so all you can do is leave them to it and focus on your own life.

Another important aspect of forgiveness and healing is remembering that it is inherently an act of self-care, and not a service you’re doing to the other person. You’re not “letting them off easy”, “letting sh*t slide”, or “letting them win” by choosing to not allow the situation poison your thoughts, feelings and present anymore. You’re choosing your mental health, sanity and future - all very valid reasons for jUsT LeTtInG gO, if you ask me.

“But Liv! How do I know that I am truly ready to move forward? And how do I know that these feelings won’t come back and re-trigger me in the future, despite all this effort I’ve put into healing now?”

Excellent questions. I wish I had better answers... but the harsh truth for both is that you don’t. You have no idea what’s going to happen, how people are going to act, what will remind you of the situation or what is going to trigger you. You have zero control over the situation, and you’ll come to the ugly realisation that the world, in fact, doesn’t revolve around you and your comfort and mental health.

I know, right? Imagine my shock, horror and surprise when I realised this.

The truth is that life is going to keep throwing cute little triggering curveballs at you, and the only thing you can truly control is how you react to it. You can choose to let it poison your mind and mood… or you can simply sit with it, allow it to pass without attaching emotions to it, and then keep it pushing when you’re ready to.

I’d definitely argue that this part of the process is the hardest to achieve - especially when you’re an emotional drama Queen like myself. However, once you get to that point where you can let your triggers and memories pass without affecting the present… you’ve pretty much won, because nothing can rattle you anymore. You become truly unf*ckwithable, and I can’t wait until I get to this stage of my process.

In the meantime, it’s all about constantly reminding yourself to stay in the present, because life will keep going on regardless of where your mind is at.

5. Be grateful for the process and do not look back.

I know, I know - feeling gratitude when you’re neck-deep in the sh*t is infinitely easier said than done. When you’re there ugly crying in the mirror, the last thing on your mind is going to be “Aw, look how much I’ve grown! I love that for myself! Well done, me!”. However, when you’re all exhausted, cried out and feel that zen feeling afterwards (you know what I’m on about), take time to acknowledge that while it feels like it’s never going to end now, one day you’ll be able to make your peace with what happened and that it will never happen again.

Be grateful to yourself over your resilience, how much you’ve learnt and how highly you must regard yourself for pushing yourself through this whole experience - because as you know by now, it is extremely hard.

When you can learn to see past the pain and emotional distress this whole process has caused you and find silver linings that you can be grateful for, it’s finally time to start looking towards never looking back on the situation ever again. Or, at the very least, being able to think about it without attaching any emotion to it, and just letting the thoughts pass by without any judgement before gently bringing yourself back to the present and getting on with your happier, stress-free life. Sometimes it can be easy to romanticize an old connection when a lot of time has passed, and you start to forget why you were so angry and hurt in the first place. In these cases, it’s important to remind yourself of why letting go and keeping it pushing is so important for your growth. Here are some things I like to consider when I feel myself spending too much time on memory lane, reminiscing and lowkey wishing I hadn’t been emotionally intelligent enough to recognise I needed to move forward:

Where would I be - emotionally and mentally - right now if I hadn’t decided to put myself first?

If I met someone new that reminds me of the person I’m detaching from, how would I react?

How have my current friendships and other relationships changed since deciding to focus on detachment and healing?

When comparing my past state of mind to my current one, what has changed in regard to how I view myself? How I view relationships/friendships?

How has pushing myself being the best version of myself set me up for future relationships, friendships and generations (if I end up having kids)?

Spoiler alert: I can tell you now that you will realise that you have grown so much without even realising it. Seemingly behind your own back, you’ve become a self-aware, self-loving, no-sh*t-taking, confident powerhouse that would rather have all your toenails slowly extracted before even considering letting someone get away with disrespecting you ever again. You will realise that everyone currently in your life is there because you want them to be - not because you need them in any way. They’re there because they love and support you the way you deserve to be - but you know that if anyone was to act up, it’s curtains… because now you know that anyone that doesn’t consider your mental health and happiness important has no place in your life. And that’s on Tampax Compak Super Plus.

I want to end this post with a personal story from my own detachment process. As those of you that have been reading my blog for a long time know, one of the biggest reasons why I even started this blog in the first place was to have an outlet for my emotions and to help myself to heal after a bad breakup.

When I say I thought I was going to die, I’m not even being dramatic or exaggerating. I legit thought that I would never be able to move past it, or get over him. Back then - despite having a decent background in psychology and understanding the importance of expressing my emotions - I chose to bottle things up (except for in therapy) and turned to unhealthy coping methods so I didn’t have to feel so much. I can’t lie… life was very sh*t, and I honestly struggled to see the point of even being alive anymore.

Fast forward about a year - I made the conscious decision to take responsibility for my healing and detachment, because I realised that holding on to someone that hurt me so badly wasn’t healthy. Deciding to let go of all the promises we made to each other, the memories and good times is hands down one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I realised that just clinging onto the past just because of familiarity was not the one. Plus, at this point I had started to be able to admit to myself that the relationship was never as perfect as I had made it out to be in my head - making it easier and easier to gradually let go. I begrudgingly continued the healing and detachment process, winging it and hoping for the best.

Major time skip to just a few months ago - I’m literally just at home, chilling, minding my business. All of that. I went on the calendar app on my phone to check something, when it suddenly hit me that what would’ve been our seven year anniversary had passed a few days before… and I hadn’t even noticed. A date that used to mean so much to me and get me in my feelings just a year before, had now completely slipped my mind.

What’s more is that when I clocked it… I felt nothing. Nada. Zilch. And that’s when I fully realised how oblivious I had been to the bigger picture of my healing journey, because the sudden apathy towards a situation that really had me considering if life was even worth it anymore really came as a surprise. Even now, as I’m writing this and am clearly thinking about how dirty I got done… I feel nothing besides how proud I am of myself, and I love that for myself.

If I - THEE most sentimental, dramatic and emotional woman on the planet - can get there, trust me… you definitely can too. I had to figure out the “formula” for myself, but now that I’ve given it to you, you literally have no excuse for not letting that toxic and useless somebody hurt you anymore. Get to it!

With that being said, I wish you a happy, stress-free, peaceful and self-loving 2021, because you deserve it. I can’t wait to share my new ideas with you in the new year, so I’ll see you on the oThEr SiDe.

Love,

Liv

#selfhelp #selflove #Empowerment #opinions #detachment

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my-whumpy-little-heart · 5 years ago

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Cracks. (Defective Series 3)

In a request from @burtlederp for my @badthingshappenbingo card, this will be based off of the trope: Lifted by the Neck. (Requested squares are white hearts, completed squares are red hearts. If you want to request any, send an ask with the trope and (optionally) a character of mine to fill it with.)

The previous entry in this series is here.

Tagging @castielamigos-whump-side-blog as well, who wanted to see another continuation of this :) Since this will probably be an ongoing series now, anyone can ask to be on a tag list or taken off.

One final announcement! These characters now have names since I’ll be continuing the series. The sister (previously X) is Elle Valencia, and the brother (previously Y) is Jirard Valencia. As for the box boy’s name… well, you’ll just have to read a little further.

By the end of his first training session, the boy had passed out. Jirard figured he pushed it a little too far when it almost lost its voice from screaming near the end, but he had reached his goal. Whether by obedience, delirium, or weakness, his boy had stopped pulling away altogether by the fourth cauterized knife wound. Elle had gotten a little bored when she realized she wouldn’t get to shock him any further, but he promised he’d make it up to her. So, a few days later, he invited her back over.

“What’re you doing, Jirard?” Speaking of his sister, she must have let herself in. He closed the book in his hands and looked over.

“Just writing in my journal,” he shrugged, setting it aside and standing up.

“Journal, eh? Didn’t know you kept one.”

“I do now: started the other day after you left, actually. It’s mostly to write about the boy and observe his progress. Whumpee Barn is getting a strongly worded letter on the importance of quality control when I find the patience to write it, and I’ll need to remember details. Thus, journal,” he gestured to the book once more before starting down the stairs, waving Elle after him. “Plus, I can’t lie; it’ll be nice to have a window down memory lane when it’s finally properly trained.”

“Speaking of it, did you think of a name yet? Might be easier to train commands into if it has something to respond to.”

“No, I haven’t actually, but you’re right about that. The instructions I read through mentioned names too. You have anything good in mind?” Jirard stopped at the landing of the stairs, leaning against the basement door just opposite them.

“Personally, I thought it’d be funny to name it something strong sounding. Maybe like Maximus or Orion. More satisfying to talk down to it, then.” Elle smiled, and her brother paused with a contemplative look on his face. A few seconds later, he looked back up with a grin.

“I like your style, Elle... You sure you’ve never owned one of these bad boys?”

“Just got good taste in friends, I guess. I pick up a few things being around them and their pets enough.” she laughed, walking down to the basement when Jirard finally opened the door.

“Yeah, isn’t one of them some hotshot blogger now or something? The one with the wild green hair?” He made some awkward gestures trying to describe them, and Elle snorted at her brother’s ignorance.

“Oh my god, you turn thirty and suddenly you’re completely out of touch. You’re literally only five years older than me, you dolt; you should know they’re a YouTuber. We should totally watch some of their videos later if we get time. You’d like them; they’ve got flair.”

“Ugh, whatever you say. Those videos do sound like they might be fun though,” he said as they finally reached the boy’s room. “Getting down to business, the boy hasn’t been too active since you were last here, though I’ve really only gone in there to feed it. Thought it should have some time alone in the dark to really think about what’s important, you know?”

His sister took that as a rhetorical question and stayed quiet when Jirard opened the door. He flicked on the light to illuminate the room, and his own face lit up when a groan came from inside. In the corner, he spied the boy curled into itself, squinting against the light assaulting its vision.

“Oh, so you are awake this time! Honestly thought I might have broken you for a bit there. Well, broken you more anyway. You’re already aware of your manufacturing defects.” Jirard walked across the room to sweep a hand across its cheek and down its bare neck which still bore marks from the shock collar. It made sure not to flinch away from the touch. In fact, it almost seemed to lean into it, as both he and the boy realized.

“...I almost want to take that back. Seems like your training did pay off a little after all, huh?” It nodded its head slightly at that, almost akin to bowing it down in shame. Its face remained set in a grimace. “Hey, that’s not a bad thing. You’re just fulfilling your purpose as a product; nothing wrong with that. Oh, speaking of! The manual didn’t give me anything to call you, so I’m just gonna have to name you. What do you think about Maverick?”

The grimace set in deeper as it frowned disapprovingly.

“I, personally, think it’s a lovely name. Suits it well.” Elle butted in with a sparkling smile.

“It’s decided then. You’re my little Maverick, and you’re going to respond whether I call you Maverick, Mav, or any matter of pet names. Got it?” The nod he got in response was short and clipped this time, but it was an agreement. It was beginning to learn what he wanted. “Great. Elle, you can take it. I trust it knows its place by now and won’t try anything, but here’s the obligatory warning just in case, Mav. Don’t go getting your priorities switched up now.”

Jirard turned around before it could respond and his sister walked over instead, grabbing it by the back of its neck and pulling forward. It got up on unsteady legs, trying its best to keep up with the quick pace already being set as it was dragged along. Maverick was almost choking around the strong hand, but its cramping legs had trouble keeping up and staying stable. If it didn’t trip on its own, some strand of the long, plush carpet threads would catch on its toes anyway and send it stumbling behind only to be yanked forward again.

And god if that grip didn’t already hurt. That shock collar had left scarring that Elle’s rough hand now rubbed painfully against with every movement. Up the staircase, she stayed one step above it, moving opposite it and pulling up hard on multiple occasions.

At the top of the steps, Mav finally got a full scope of the house. There was a large, luxurious entrance, lit by a glittering crystal chandelier and framed by a curving wooden staircase. It couldn’t see the scope from just one room, but this house could easily be an entire mansion. No doubt it was fit with a high end security system that would lock all the doors and windows at the tap of a finger, leaving no way to escape…

“Maverick,” Jirard’s call lingered in the air for a few seconds before it remembered that was supposed to be its name, and lifted its head. “Did they at least teach you how to complete basic chores where you were trained?”

It gave a curt nod, eyes still wandering the open space. Fingers snapping in front of the boy’s face brought its attention back to the situation at hand, and looked back at Elle, whose fingers had just retreated from its face. She shook her head and pointed back in front of them, to her brother who was staring with a less than pleased expression.

“I may as well address this now rather than later, Mav. I’d love it if you could give some verbal responses every now and then. You know, so I don’t have to constantly stare at you to have a conversation. Not to say I didn’t wish I could stare at you all the time, of course.”

“...okay, then.” A hint of sass shone through the words.

“So how would you answer my previous question…?” he asked expectantly, leading it on.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” The boy only stared blankly with a carefully guarded expression, lip twitching. “...Oh, come on, I’m sure they gave you a few ideas of what to call your owner back where you came from. Sir, Master, Mr. Valencia… take your pick. Honestly, I’m really not all that picky as long as you can show me some basic respect.”

His boy seemed to have frozen halfway through the statement, eyes blown wide and somehow clearer than they had been in days. It trembled in an unnatural way, which would have been interesting to him had it been in fear and not what looked to be pent up rage. He made eye contact with Elle over it and she only tightened her fingers on its throat, adding her other hand for extra security.

Only Jirard saw when it broke, something greater than itself taking control of its body, and signaled a warning to his sister just seconds before Maverick reared up against the restraining hands, teeth bared and snarling.

“Valencia, VALENCIA! I knew you were familiar. Damn it, it’s you- it’s fucking YOU! You’re the asshat from up the street who would never stop harassing my mom before she- she-! And of course you’re enough of a sick BASTARD to treat a fucking human being as a pet! Fuck you! Fuck-” Its words were cut off by its head slamming into the wall, and feet leaving the floor, hands curling further around its neck, cutting in and taking his breath until it could only wheeze through sobs and tears that spilled down its cheeks. Its expression only dropped further at the realization of what it had just done--what it had just said!--and the surely looming consequences he couldn’t even dream of.

“That’s. Enough.” Elle hissed as her hands closed over its throat, and it could only gasp fruitlessly and scramble for footing as Jirard stepped closer, expression unreadable.

“Let off a bit, Elle.” He stalked forward, talking slowly to his boy now as if addressing a toddler, “I think we need to have a short discussion before I beat you senseless for what you just did, don’t we Mav?”

“Th-tha’s not- nah-” it sniveled and cried as it spoke, knowing any more of its defiance would only make things worse, but some spirit had awoken inside that it couldn’t push down.

“Are you trying to tell me Maverick isn’t your real name?” A brief moment passed, as if he was expecting a response. “Okay, sure, I’ll indulge you,” Jirard remembered the manual advising strictly against speaking over a boy’s past, but he figured it already broke that boundary for him, “What is your ‘real’ name then?”

The boy froze at that, looking ahead with empty eyes. Its lips trembled and breath hitched around Elle’s hands, but it was still silent. He resisted the urge to smile at his risk having paid off. With specific memories so fresh in its head, Maverick would need more of an overhaul than he had planned for, but it would certainly be interesting to try out.

“Oh, can you not remember? Are you sure you really ever had one in the first place? Because from what I remember, you never had a proper name until today. Anything that came before must certainly have been miserable--something you’d never want to remember, of course--for you to sign up for a program like this.” The words came sweet from his lips, but his boy was having none of it with what those memories had instilled in him. It muttered things about how it didn’t agree to this, how it had people down the street that cared about it, and it only saw Jirard’s raised fist right before it smashed across its cheek.

The hands on its neck held Maverick in place as its face snapped to the side, a wretched, choked moan escaping its mouth. Elle eyed her brother, but he nodded in a motion for her to keep holding it. Punches came in strong to its head, hitting anywhere that wouldn’t make it immediately pass out, and pained noises became shouts that rang and echoed in the open space. Elle counted seven before he finally brought his fists down, and the body under her hands groaned deliriously.

“Very elegant. Beating it senseless, you said?” She smiled, letting it drop to the ground, barely clinging to consciousness.

“You see it having any senses right now? It should have a few concussions by now, at least. Figure that’s the easiest way to mess with its head.”

“Well, it’s not gonna take to anything you tell it right now. Gonna need, I don’t know, at least an hour if I had to estimate.” She nudged the boy with her foot, and it leaned faintly into it in its half-conscious state. Maybe the training the other day had caused that, but she wouldn’t place bets on it with this one. “...maybe two, actually.”

“Is that enough time to watch one of those videos you were talking about earlier?” Jirard’s voice rose in a hopeful tone, and Elle smiled back.

“Oh, definitely a few at least!”

She grabbed Maverick’s arms while her brother took the feet and they dragged it to the living room with his flatscreen TV, abandoning it on the floor in favor of sitting up on the couch.

“Okay, so we should definitely start with one of the earlier videos,” Elle scrolled through the channel on her phone which was streaming to the TV, “would you rather the collar haul or the prank video?”

“Ooh, the prank sounds fun…”

Videos played on the screen for hours as Maverick lay on the floor, disoriented by its throbbing head and swirling vision, unable and unwilling to force its confused body to move, and hearing only the muffled sounds of audio and the piercing, too loud laughter of its owner and his sister. In the back of its head, memories of defiance and punishment danced like a curse, and it just wished it could think clearly enough to remember what it was trying so hard to defend.

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shy-magpie · 5 years ago

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RQG 145

My first EA episode and I'm getting to it 4 hours after release because I'm so excited about joining the Patreon I can’t focus. Its silly but hey birthday money well spent if it makes me this happy right? Ok I think I'm centered enough to hit play.

Eee its going to be my name there someday!

Poor Cel! Poor Azu!

I'm impressed, Alex managed to summarize pretty well given the circumstances.

Hamid: oh dear! Skraak: Skraak, pressure equalization, Skraak!

What! I was right - he has been getting clearer! Did Alex imply he has been playing up how drugged is? Smart way to get a sense of the party while he gets his feet under him if so.

Thank you Alex, we need those numbers. Oh poor Hamid is confident on a 3.

Skraak is helping! Hamid is listening to him!

~~~Party time~~~

Alarms!

Blast doors? Yes! They won't drown!

Azu! Cel! Zolf!

Point Cel, Shoin seems actively against being useful

Nice, Salt Beard coming up properly after all this time! Scary sounds! Bubbles! Thats got to be a good sign right? Loving the bit with Zolf's thumb!

Not clear what happened plot wise, but Ben did some nice work showing Zolf’s emotions in ways I can’t put into works. Healing time! It is a very Cel, TBF, to quantify their health

Speaker time! Oh thank goodness everyone is healed up. Yeah the food's poisoned we got that with the brunch Hamid was dragged from.

Sweet, torches in the bags of holding are fine.

Loving the character interactions, especially Zolf and Cel bonding over Shoin’s bad design.

Bryn! Alex! That is an actual crime! Conspiracy to commit angst!

I love Zolf's growth!

I will need a transcription of this scene!

Cel was in war zones?

Speakers again

~~~

Hamid is humming opera music (Carmen?)

Scratch? Skraak has been marking the path when Hamid didn't think of it. I love Skraak! Hamid dear, when you get a moment, I know there's a lot on your mind: double check on Skraak's name and pronouns would ya? Also Hamid is doing awesome with the changes. I had faith in him but its great hearing him cheerfully ask Skraak for input as a local expert; instead of trying to force the pattern that worked before even as Skraak gets less kid like. Love to see how this shakes out, even though I confess Hamid having a new younger sibling was a treat. OK enough tangent let's open a hatch!

Oh pressure gauge! I wonder if that helps with more than flooding.

Wrench! I love a call back.

That's one way to refer to Hamid's abilities. Also I am aware of Zolf and Hamid's dwindling spell slots; I am just convincing myself they will be able to camp for the night in a safe hallway before Alex Shoin happens.

Oh good something is maintained around here.

Green light? Alex, did you come up with the hidden doors purely to mess with theoretical maps? Because Babs has been doing pretty well so far but I'll be her second if she challenges Alex to a fight in the parking lot after this episode.

~~~Break time, no ad is surprisingly weird, on edit listen is an ad with Mike that proves once again that I am so far gone on RQ that I even find the ads charming~~~

Oh more Hamid time!

That was a lot of dice, no numbers that I caught. Oh dear! (Was that Ben teasing him?)

In the rafters of a very large room. Huge domed ceiling, sounds pretty. Have I gone 20 minutes without saying how much I love Alex's set design? Thank you Ben, I will google it, *sticks out tongue*. Seriously as long as you enunciate and don't get into stuff so niche you lose people in England too, then don't worry about us from the US. Honestly you guys worry about everything, the occasional missed reference isn't worth the brainspace.

Still not happy about the lack of maintenance, especially given that's what stands between the party and drowning

Skraak sounds worried: it is his first time down this far and sounding more himself by the second. Still no hint of second guessing throwing in with Hamid! As good as Bryn is at avoiding spoilers, I thought he wouldn't have brought up Cohort on the discord if Skraak took it really badly as they sobered up, but is still a relief. Not that I would blame Skraak for much short of turning out to be the secret Big Bad: the circumstances were pretty messed up; even if I stand by saying you can't leave someone who pledged to you and isn't in a position to cover that up if their old boss catches them. Yes I know a conversation about spiders not being the most dangerous thing the party used on Kobolds is coming but with Skraak not turning out to be a kid, it might be more tense but cut my concerns in half. Hell the Kobolds might well be able to fend for themselves post Shoin if they loot the place in compensation.

"I still think that might be an exaggeration"

Oh Hamid has the Elven cloak too. How do you wear two cloaks at once? And don't say you don't, Hamid is not losing 4 levels of dragon awesome (or however Pathfinder put it) in the middle of a dungeon.

Skraak remembers the health potion and doesn't mind being asked to hang back. Hamid arms Skraak with a injection spear. Has the canisters for it too. I may have underestimated him (or on the Doylist level this falls under reasonable retcon; then again I might just have missed Bryn saying he was pocketing this stuff because I thought he would run it by Zolf). *Shrugs* please keep a sample for testing, I have a pet theory I'd love to see tested.

Alex, just...thanks for using a tone of voice that made it completely clear you were joking

Skraak: Skraak avenger, death from above etc! Hamid: Remember, General Skraak Avenger! Hamid remembers what he said to Skraak whether they do or not! OK like I said I loved Hamid adopting Skraak as a new little brother but this new phase is a lot of fun if harder to quantify.

Oh the sleeves! The cloaks don't have to have much physical presence, do they? That makes sense. Sleeves and prestidigitation? Right after being so charming with Skraak? Hamid is in fine form

Alex is just feeling mischievous tonight, I like it.

An enormous pipe organ? I love Alex's set design. (also one day my brain will pull up the right person the first time when someone references Bill Nye or Bill Nighy but even with the Pirates context today is not that day)

I know, Ben, cosmetic or not its fricken awesome.

I don't like the pipes, I don't get the pipes, but I don't like them (that fine mesh better not imply there is something airborne in the complex)

Is it wrong that other than the more obviously ominous bits this sounds like a great place to live?

Chaise longue

Is this seriously set up for the party -wait... Did Hamid skip to the end of the maze with only Skraak for back up and no sleep!?! No reunion or camping scene first? Not even a spell restoring nap?!

Human IOD? ALEX, WHAT IS UP WITH THIS FIGURE? ITS SHOIN RIGHT? ITS GOTTA BE.

Don't listen to Ben, Alex will get you if you jump to conclusions. That's my dragon! Sneaky lad learned from Sasha!

~~~Of course he is switching to the party. Man has a sense of timing.

More party favors, daggers make my heart twinge

Azu takes Cel’s hand to guide them

Gonna light a torch? Or is Zolf keeping up his anti light thing.

Alex is simplifying things No Zolf is not throwing open the door. Oh thank hope, Zolf is lighting a torch. Pathfinder jokes

We like it too Alex!

I like the zone thing.

Cel, I adore you! Zolf just promised backstory! Get that down! And a miner/minor pun, these people are the best! Oh tin miner!

Lights! Golden bulkhead! Seriously where is this guy getting his money?

Azu spots a trap! Yes Alex, we respect your craft. Trip wire!

I love the boots

Oh Cel is clumsy, I hadn't actually noticed that.

Genre savvy Cel hulks out with bat wings! Claws! Fangs! HP goes up thank all the gods! (Azu lets go of their hand)

Ben needs to look up spells but Zolf is prepared Azu puts on the iron beard

They throw open the door!

~~~

Poor Bryn, stuck waiting for the next episode like us listeners to find out the results.

I've been re listening to some early episodes and I really missed the "byes". It's a silly sign off but I think that comfort with silly might be part of why I like it?

Re: the bloopers, it would have been a little funny if they did a “detect traps” and got knocked out like when Hamid tried detect magic in, was it Rome?

OK bottom line: Skraak is awesome; I still miss Sasha but at least Lydia can be a bat even if it isn’t cloak of the bat; Zolf came back better than ever and actually wants to have at least 2 real conversations; and Azu is a champ for doing so well despite her phobias (which are still taken seriously because Helen and RQ are friggen awesome). Fun and pulpy, that's how ya do it! Stakes from the sea floor to the stratosphere! Character moments! Sets that make Hollywood weep in jealousy!

Okay okay some people may be stressed out after that even though everyone ended up fighting fit, which is fair, ok? but physical peril? Just a roller coaster to me, I'll take it any day of the week and twice on Sundays!

#long post #Rusty Quill Gaming #RQG spoilers #RQG season 4 #live blog thingy #RQG 145

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mong39 · 5 years ago

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First impression of Frozen 2

I have been a fan of the franchise since it came out. And I mean hardcore fan. I was deep into the fandom for a long time, and even though I stopped being involved I haven’t stopped loving Frozen. These characters are very important to me, so before watching Frozen 2 I had a lot of feelings and expectations. Naturally, I have much to say about the movie and I’d love to discuss it with other fans. So, here are my (extense) thoughts on the plot, characters, technicalities and other things! (I might change my mind on some things after watching it again and listening to the soundtrack properly, these are my right-out-the-movie-theater thoughts) Note: I haven’t used tumblr in so long! I barely know how to use this app so sorry if my formatting is weird.

Plot. I loved the incorporation of the elements of magic and the origins. I also loved the lesson of there being wrongdoings in the past and one must make them right even if it might affect us. And the message of people in the present benefiting from harm done to another group in the past without being aware of it. For people in colonized countries or marginalized groups, it is a familiar story. I’m quite surprised they addressed this topic which was last touched (yes, touched, not addressed) in Pocahontas if I’m not mistaken. Certainly, it’s a strong message that deserves an analysis of it’s own. The fact that it is about the origin of Elsa’s power wasn’t unexpected, but that didn’t make it uninteresting. However, I did feel like they kept adding too many punchlines which made them seem weak somehow. For example, when they reveal Iduna was Northuldran it didn’t feel shocking. It wasn’t that relevant to the plot, that is to say, it wasn’t delivered in a way that felt like it mattered. It was only later on when Anna says that she was a gift to her mother for saving the prince, but is that even true or was she just comforting Elsa? Why would the forest thank her for it anyway? I think it wasn’t delivered correctly. Additionally, I do feel that superficially the plot is little similar to the original one but looking at the details it a different kind of journey.

Storytelling. The directors really ventured out and got experimental with the story telling this time. Those black background scenes are very unlike disney, and the way they explained the elements is also rare in 3d animation. That being said I’m glad they got brave and used it because it really makes you understand how (Elsa’s) inner conflict and memories also serve as settings in this movie. It helps connect with Elsa on a deeper level, in contrast to the first one where we get to know Elsa mainly through Anna’s memories.

The lighting. The lighting is by far, the boldest I’ve seen in mainstream 3d animation. The lighting alone sets the mood of each scene and delivers it’s own message. It’s an extremely old art technique to give texture and personality to a scene/painting through lights and shadows, but they took it to a new level (as far as Disney Animation goes). They chose to play with the light artistically, without it feeling unnatural which isn’t so easy. Anna’s scenes in the cave? It feels like the light contrast is an additional character. I think the light was the most breathtaking visual in the film! Of course the choice of colors is also beautiful, but honestly you can’t go wrong with a classic seasonal palette so it’s not groundbreaking or original. Moreover, it was specifically brave for a Disney film to use such strong shadows on their protagonists. It’s not unheard of, we’ve seen this in Brave but it is not easy to incorporate it without losing the overall taste that Frozen has (I do not need to explain why the mood of Brave and Frozen is completely different). I personally think this use of dramatic yet poetic lighting is was truly makes you realize you aren’t watching the same movie.

The songs. Now this a personal preference, but I do love how most of the musical numbers were ballads. However, there wasn’t anything new in terms of story telling through musical numbers. In truth, I found Frozen did it better because it had more songs that actually moved the story along. In Frozen 2 we don’t really find musical numbers that explain the past, current situation or develop the plot (as is the case for DYWBASM, First Time in Forever, Love is an Open Door, etc.). However, we do find more songs that develop or showcase a character’s inner conflict: Into the Unknown, Lost in The Woods (kinda), Show Yourself and The Next Right Thing (in Frozen we only have Let it Go). I can only assume it’s because, as I said, the film focuses on inner thoughts way more than the first film so it is a reasonable choice.

Animation. Going back to technical aspects, there has been so much improvement in the past 6 years! I was particularly impressed by the improvement in expressions and small movements. Perhaps watching so many animation films in these years, gradually improving, it hadn’t been shocking. But looking at how the same characters are moving way more naturally now really made me realize how much progress Disney has made (I say Disney, because in the past I had felt Dreamworks was ahead of them in terms of making movements seem human). Just by using more exaggerated and dynamic expressions I felt like I got to know the characters’ personalities more, even if, script wise, I didn’t. It is such an intrinsic part of filmmaking that Disney has been slowly incorporating into their 3d animation and finally we get to see it in it’s full glory. What is more interesting, is that they had to expand characters’ (previously limited) body language in a way that was in accordance with the first film and the character’s personality. It was quite obvious how they recreated Elsa’s mannerisms (ie. Hugging herself when pushing Anna away) but I was impressed how they added to Anna’s personality through her very strong facial expressions (her sobs, her anger). Not to mention, I think I actually like Kristoff way more now because I understood his character in a way I hadn’t had a chance to before.

New characters. I can’t say I wasn’t hoping to see more of Honeymaren, she seemed like an interesting character. I guess the choice was between her and Ryder and they went for the latter. They had a lot on their plate already as they were including the King and Queen, the Lieutenant, Bruni... plus the weight of the plot... So it’s fine I guess... I just wanted to get to know the tribe more. Naturally the audience will feel more intrigued about them than the soldiers, and we didn’t really learn anything about Iduna or Agnarr as people anyway. I would’ve preferred to focus on one or two new characters and get a clearer picture of them. Writers’ choices.

Character opinions

Elsa: First off, Elsa is a character that is very dear to me, so I am very biased on this. I was slightly disappointed when she froze. I admit it. I thought “Wait, this is it?”. I was simply so into this Elsa-focus and to suddenly be snapped out of it, it was a little discouraging. But I respect the director’s intentions, they were trying to say that it will never be only about Anna or only about Elsa. I respect that. Another thing is that I was looking forward to getting to know her personality more, something new but that really wasn’t the case. They chose to dig more into her identity, which, again, I understand. It is simply not what I was expecting. Realistically, I shouldn’t have expected for them to dive more into her personality without establishing her place in the world first. Oh and by the way, the could’ve not found a better place for Elsa. It was something that I would’ve never thought about but of course, that is where she should be and I’m happy about her joining the forest!

Anna: she really won me over in this film. I grew to love her way more than in the first film. Perhaps it’s because she obviously has matured or because I got to understand her more but she is truly a well constructed character now. She is now not only loveable but also badass. And no I don’t mean it because of the rock giant scene (she had endangered her life before) but because she literally thought her sister was DEAD and she got up and did something about it. This girl, who thought she has lost her last family member and a close friend (Olaf) still did was was needed to be done. Anna is so strong it’s unbelievable. And?! She became Queen!? Again, the writers are amazing! Of course, that’s the way it should be. Anna’s willpower, kindness and sense of justice would most certainly bring prosperity to Arendelle. I would’ve had my doubts about Frozen 1 Anna but Frozen 2 Anna can be trusted with anything.

Kristoff: I grew to like him as a character. I didn’t dislike him before, but I just wasn’t very drawn to him. This time I did see more into who he is, and many times I thought “Oh, that is so Kristoff”. In a way, it made me realize that I did know him more than i thought.

Final thoughts, I loved this movie. I was expecting a LOT and I got a lot. Maybe not what I thought but I gladly accept this path the writers took. And the visuals are just unbelievable. Beautiful. I personally think it has the most breathtaking scenery out of any Disney Animated movie.While it also deals with very serious emotions in a way that is more upfront and mature than previous Disney movies.

#frozen #frozen 2

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jenomark · 6 years ago

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Swallow // Part 5

○Pairing: Dom!Jaehyun x Sub!Reader (Female) ○Other Members/ Characters: Sub!Johnny + Doyoung ○Genre: smut ○Warnings: public sex (m w/ f), angst, vaginal penetration ○Word count: 3,944

→Summary: Things are starting to become a little clearer for Jaehyun, for you, and for John.

→Notes: ✨Anon Requested✨ Heyyyy 😍😍 Can I request Dom Jaehyun x Dom reader smut? Pretty, Please 💕💕

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

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Jaehyun. Those who knew him well would call him an affectionate, kind-hearted man. He cared a lot, but found it hard to admit he did. There were tell-tale signs that Jaehyun wasn’t as emotionless as he pretended to be. He hid them well, underneath layers of fine clothes and gifts. He appeared nonchalant about everything. Keeping himself busy enough so he didn’t have to face real-life feelings, Jaehyun cruised through the years like a man who didn’t have the time to settle for anything. Everyone around him always assumed he did things with a reason, but truthfully, he never knew what the hell he was doing.

When you said you wanted out, he knew he should respect your choices and let you go. His need for you would not limit you. His attention was always to raise you up high enough so that you could begin to see yourself the way he saw you. Somewhere along the way, things got a little fucked up.

He got a little fucked up, too. There were too many feelings, too many people involved, and too many things he couldn’t control. He was terrified of time passing him by. He desperately tried to save face, but the lying and the contradictions were catching up to him.

“Is that what you really want?” he asked. “I’ll have someone drive you home right now. I won’t ever contact you again.”

The way you looked at him made him feel ashamed. He said the wrong things to you often, and although he tried to hide his response from you, he often felt broken-hearted. Regret was a common theme in your relationship together. Jaehyun never regretted meeting you, but he had regret for the way things happened. He should have known from the beginning that you were a little different.

“It’s that easy for you?” you asked, tears springing to your eyes.

“Believe me, it’s not.”

You leaned against the limo and tugged at the hem of your dress. He thought you looked beautiful, either way. It was customary to want you in any way he could have you, but wanting you in a non-sexual way was a brand new feeling he was learning to process.

“What if I really do want out? What then, Jaehyun? I’ll never see you again.”

There wasn’t much of a friendship. Your relationship was strictly a business without the paperwork or money exchange. It was the way Jaehyun conducted all of his relationships, because it was easier. Occasionally, they bled into his real life, but the others rarely crossed the line. Jaehyun wouldn’t dare make that move. The time you spent with him was an eye-opener to why he made any rules at all. After sex, he would watch you when you didn’t see him. He would see the way you danced while putting on your clothes, ignorant to the world around you. You smiled at the oddest things, and laughed at things no one should find funny. You were whiny and you talked to yourself. He found himself talking to his other subs about you fondly, acting out the things you would do just to make his partners laugh.

“I don’t know,” he said, honestly. “But I think I would miss you.”

Jaehyun’s admission perked you up a little. You stood a little straighter and took a deep breath, blowing the air out through your nose.

“Think?” you asked. “Or Know?”

“Don’t push me,” Jaehyun said. “I only want you to stay if you’re the one who wants to. The choice is yours, but I won’t beg you.”

“I don’t know what I want.” you said.

“When you find out, let me know,” he said. “You know where I’ll be.”

Jaehyun turned on his heel and started walking back up the hill. When he heard you puttering around behind him, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Would you really miss me?” you asked, trying to keep up with his stride.

“Yes.”

“Show me.”

Jaehyun stopped walking and looked at you incredulously. There would be nothing he’d love more than to make you remember just who he was when he got you home. He thought about making you sit on your knees for hours, sucking away at his cock until he was satisfied. You didn’t wear the dress you picked out, and the disrespect and hurt he felt made him eager to return the favor. Luckily for you, a wedding was not the right time or place.

“No.” Jaehyun said, sternly.

“No rules, remember?” you said.

When you smiled up at him sweetly, Jaehyun narrowed his eyes and looked over at the big white tent. He knew there were people in there waiting for him. His mother, for one. He tried searching for John but couldn’t find him anywhere. John played it cool, but he was a jealous man, and very loyal to Jaehyun. Jaehyun would never spill John’s secrets to you, but he was just as jealous and as spiteful. John was just clever enough not to show all of his cards.

“Barn. There’s a ladder. Make sure no one sees you. That dress better be off when I get back.” he said.

Jaehyun walked briskly away. He didn’t look back to see you off, but he could feel your excitement guiding him on his way. His own was brewing in the pit of his stomach as he approached the tent, his cock twitching in his pants. He found his mother instantly and apologized for taking time away.

“When will I meet this girlfriend of yours?” his mother asked.

“Soon. She’s mingling. Everyone loves her.” Jaehyun lied.

Next, he went to John who was talking Doyoung’s ear off. He pulled him aside, just out of earshot. Not missing a beat, John asked if Jaehyun was going to fuck you. Jaehyun was taken aback, but showing any weaknesses to John meant that he couldn’t perform his job properly. John was one of his more outspoken friends, and it was always a quiet struggle for dominance.

“You have this look on your face like when the cat catches the canary. That’s how I know you’re going to have a good time, without me.” John said.

“Who is the cat and who is the canary?” Jaehyun asked.

“Me and her are both the canaries, and we’re both dead.” John answered.

Jaehyun didn’t know how to respond, so he left John and made his way to you. Jaehyun could feel his relationship with John and the others coming to an end. He loved being with all of them, but lately Jaehyun had been questioning himself and he didn’t like it. Being with someone like John had made his confidence soar. He was able to talk freely with him, like a close friend. He knew he owed him more than that for the last few years, but there was still a lot of mess to trudge through. He suspected that John had complicated feelings he never talked about, but he couldn’t be positive.

When Jaehyun reached the barn, it was empty. The barn was such a big part of his childhood and he knew it well. It used to house animals, but since it was remodeled, and the animals were moved to a barn further down the property, it had become a den for Rosie’s father. Jaehyun had spent many summers falling asleep at the top of the loft, the skylight in the ceiling his escape from real life. When he reached the ladder, he began to feel those old feelings. He imagined what it would be like to find you in his old life, to chase you through fields and braid flowers into your hair. When he climbed to the top of the ladder, he didn’t see you at first.

“Where are you?” Jaehyun called out.

You moved from behind a rickety clothing rack. You were completely naked. The sight of you made Jaehyun gasp.

“How do you want me? Jaehyun asked.

You were unable to keep the surprise from your features. You had him before, getting to set the tone for one night only. He had you many times, your bodies fitting your designated roles like a glove. Jaehyun originally never wanted to give you the reigns. He knew what a taste of it could do to someone. And in the beginning, you were in love with the idea of Jaehyun dominating you. Your place was always to serve him, and do whatever he asked of you. There were little moments where he would see your potential and his interest in seeing you rise to the top made him obsessed with you. Jaehyun wanted to know what it felt like to belong to you. It was something he had never done, with John or anyone else.

“As equals.” you said.

Jaehyun shrugged his jacket off. Taking his suit off piece-by-piece felt like he was shedding his armor. He hung everything on the rack, messily. He paused before taking off his underwear. He tried to remember the last time he had been with anyone like this. Real relationships were never his thing. He hadn’t had a girlfriend, or boyfriend, since the end of high school, which was years ago. There had been a few one night stands peppered in-between then and now, but those people were nameless faces when he was drunk. Jaehyun removed his underwear and stood before you, naked and vulnerable. He had been like this in front of you before, but this time felt different. Everything was different.

You touched him first. His body responded with goosebumps up and down his arm. His nipples hardened. Jaehyun held off for as long as he could before he touched you back. You seemed to melt in his fingers as he prodded your skin, stepping closer to feel your ass in his hands. He picked up up in his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist. Your skin in the light made you look ethereal as he laid you across a rug, draping your naked body so that he could enter you easily.

“Kiss me.” you said.

Jaehyun found your lips and your teeth and your tongue. He kissed the tip of your nose and the tops of you breasts. Your thighs were quaking, but he hadn’t touched you there yet. He was taking his time to squeeze and fondle and kiss your body. You moved underneath him. He liked the feeling of your hands on his back and how intently you locked eyes with him. He was hard, but he needed to hold off for a little bit longer before he caved.

This was what you wanted from him, and Jaehyun aimed to please. Not for you. Not for him, or anyone else. He couldn’t help but feel he was going through the motions, but it was the least he could do. Other things could wait. Feelings could wait. He moved with purpose, two fingers slipping inside of you before his cock could. He sat back on the floor. Without being told to, you ambled up and straddled him, both of you in a sitting position. You held him so tightly to your body, your fingernails digging into his flesh, hard enough to break the skin. When you lowered yourself down onto his cock, he pressed his forehead against yours.

He felt full when you were together. You slipped into his thoughts when he didn’t want you to. If he saw a dress in the store, he thought about how you would look trying it on. All of it spilled out of him as you quietly rolled your hips around his cock. He gripped your hips in a plea to make you go faster and give him more, but there was never going to be enough to give.

It was quick- too quick for his liking. He didn’t like feeling like he couldn’t hold his load. All of his senses were going off. Maybe it was the celebration, or the way you looked. Maybe it was how close he had been to losing you.

When you were finished, you helped him put on his suit, as you stood half-naked. Each button took time. You didn’t know how to properly tie a tie, so he took over, throwing the jacket over his arms and smoothing out wrinkles as he went. You rocked back on your heels and looked at him. He couldn’t decipher the look. He didn’t want to know what you were thinking.

“That dress really does look good on you.” Jaehyun said.

You held it and wrung the fabric in your hands. Jaehyun took it from you and placed it over your head. He didn’t stop to look at you romantically, like he knew you wanted. There was a lot he couldn’t do, couldn’t be.

“It looks better off.” you said, shimmying the rest down your waist.

Jaehyun smiled. He knew how disarming his smile could be. He watched you fight back a lot of emotions on your face before descending down the latter without a word. He helped you down after him.

“John knows about this.” Jaehyun said.

“So?”

“I thought you would get along but I was wrong.”

“You? Wrong?” you said, dramatically. “I can’t believe Jung Jaehyun is able to admit that he might be wrong about something.”

“I admit it often,” he said. “Just not to you.”

You fell quiet. Jaehyun didn’t know why he said what he did. He felt you deserved honesty, but had a rather uncouth way of delivering it. When he apologized, you nodded and said nothing more.

Jaehyun led the way out of the barn and to the white tent. The party was well under way. The pair of you couldn’t have been gone for more than 25 minutes, and yet, everyone had finished eating. A few people were dancing, some chit-chatting obliviously. Rosie never liked speeches or too much attention, so the reception was more like a family party. Though he didn’t get a chance to tell Rosie’s new husband, Jaehyun was grateful for Doyoung. He knew his best friend would always be safe with a man like him. If Jaehyun could find it in himself to grow up one day, he wanted to be a man like Doyoung.

“You’re going to meet my mother,” Jaehyun said. “I don’t want you to freak out. She smells fear.”

You laughed nervously. It was too late. The fear had already swallowed you whole. Jaehyun took your hand in his to calm your nerves. He introduced you to a small woman with short black hair and a graceful aura to her. She was wearing a beautiful emerald dress that Jaehyun bought for her. She looked like Jaehyun in the face, but there was something about her that was a little softer and more open.

“Here she is,” Jaehyun’s mother said. “I was beginning to think you didn’t exist.”

His mother pulled you into a warm hug, which Jaehyun knew you tried your hardest not to shy away from. The rest went smoothly. You both sat down at her table. She went right into talking about Jaehyun’s childhood, boasting about achievements from her son, and sharing too much information for Jaehyun’s liking. All he could do was listen and occasionally kiss your hand to keep you sifting through reality.

“My sister!” John said, coming off the dance floor. “You look flushed. Are you okay?”

Jaehyun’s eyes swept from you, to John, and then back to you again. He stood up and put his hand on John’s shoulder but John shrugged him away.

“You’re very drunk,” Jaehyun said.

“And perfectly unfucked.” John added.

John’s language made everyone around them gasp. Jaehyun’s mother looked at you for an explanation, but all you could do was watch in horror as Jaehyun held up his hands in peace. John’s face was red and his eyes were glassy. Upon further inspection, Jaehyun realized that John was not drunk. He had been crying, letting his emotions make him more shameless and uninhibited.

“I was with him the night you met,” John said, looking at you. “I bet you didn’t know that. He told me all about that broken little girl, and we laughed about it. “

“John.” Jaehyun said.

The sound of Jaehyun’s voice was deep and commanding. You stood up now, ready to flee. Jaehyun could feel you lightly tug on the sleeve of his jacket. He wanted to snatch his sleeve out of your grip but he didn’t want to make a bigger scene. John, upon hearing the tone of Jaehyun’s voice, laughed. The way he mocked Jaehyun in front of everyone made him feel embarrassed. He began to feel hot under his collar.

“At least I don’t pretend,” John said. “I have emotions. I have a life outside of this. I know who I am. Do you, Jaehyun? Your family doesn’t even know who you are.”

“What is going on?” Jaehyun's mother asked. “Jaehyun? Honey?”

A few of the wedding guests were starting to avert their attention out of respect, but the rest were clinging to the drama. Jaehyun peered over at Rosie and Doyoung who were laughing away at a bunch of kids dancing on the dance floor. He was thankful they weren’t paying attention. Without another word, John sunk down into a chair and moodily stared off into the distance. The tension in the air was thick and palpable. Most of the people, including Jaehyun’s mother, were confused, but willing to let things go for the sake of Rosie and Doyoung.

Jaehyun felt trapped in the mess he had helped create. He walked over to the bar and asked for a shot of whiskey. He never liked the taste, but it always made him shitfaced faster. He asked for another. Another. Another. It was expensive, the kind of whiskey that sits on shelves for years, only used for a true celebration. He held the fifth shot in his hands and sat in a chair. No one approached him or engaged him. He sat alone, surveying the people he held dear to his heart.

At the end of the night, Jaehyun had to be helped out of his chair and shoved into the back of the limo. You and John clambered in after him, all three of you keeping your distance from each other. When John asked the driver to deliver him home first, Jaehyun protested. He glared at you and said everyone was going to your place.

“You need to sleep.” you told him.

You were scared of him. He could read it in your eyes. You didn’t have the privilege of seeing him that drunk before. Jaehyun’s mind worried too much about what you thought about him. He had all of these wires inside of his brain. They connected how he felt about you with how he wanted you to feel about him, and none of it made sense to him. He took a swig of whiskey from the bottle he lifted from the wedding and closed his eyes.

“Non-negotiable.” Jaehyun said.

The driver pulled up to your place some time later. This time, John took the initiative and got out first. He held open the door and told Jaehyun to get out. Jaehyun stumbled out, catching himself before he fell to the ground. The bottle suffered a different fate. It smashed against a tree and shattered, littering glass all over the place.

“Don’t worry about it.” you said, climbing out of the car. “I’ll clean it up tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” John asked.

John grabbed Jaehyun and straightened him out. The sound of glass crunching beneath Jaehyun’s shoes made you feel on edge. You walked up your steps and turned back to both of them. All attention was on you. Jaehyun shoved his hands in his pockets and blinked slowly up at you. He was a different man than the one you were with earlier.

“I’m tired.” you said. “I’m going to bed. You two go home, or do whatever you both do with each other.”

“You put that key in the lock without inviting me in, I’ll spank you,” Jaehyun said. “You won’t be able to sit for a week.”

“You can’t even stand up straight without help,” you taunted him. “Go home, Jaehyun. It’s clear that you want to be alone.”

John raised his eyebrows with interest. He put his arm around Jaehyun and shook his body, clapping him on his back when he was done. Jaehyun looked like he was going to be sick. His face was ghostly white, and a film of sweat laid across his forehead.

“I have a proposition for you both,” John said. “Hear me out. What if...what if Jaehyun watched us have a little fun. You and me.”

“Me?” you asked John. “And you? I despise you.”

“Maybe,” John said. “But I know your heart aches. What better way to forget about it than to fuck someone else? Baby, I am really good at what I do. I would ask Jaehyun for a testimonial, but he’s left and he can’t come to the phone right now.”

“Absolutely not.” you said.

“Do it,” Jaehyun said, clutching his stomach. “ I want to watch.”

The hysteric laugh you let out grabbed Jaehyun’s undivided attention. He ascended your steps until he was a step below you. He leaned his forehead against your chest and gathered your dress in his fists. You went up a step, pushing him away from you.

“I wouldn’t want to let you down.” you said, your voice dripping with resentment.

All of the joy from suggesting the sex drained from John’s face as he followed you into your apartment. Neither of you helped Jaehyun. He stumbled behind a few paces, wobbling back and forth as he went. When the party filed into your apartment, Jaehyun found himself a chair to sit in while John went around touching your possessions and smiling ruefully.

“Don’t touch my things,” you said. “Not everything belongs to you.”

“Ooooo,” John said. “She comes swinging right out of the gate. You know, I don’t think you hate me nearly as much as you say.”

“I don’t hate you,” you said. “But I will never love you.”

“Not like you love him,” John said, jerking his thumb towards Jaehyun.

“I’m drunk, not dead.” Jaehyun said.

Without much warning, you pulled your dress over your head and threw it at John. He caught it and let the fabric play in his fingers. Jaehyun’s eyes were on your body and how it moved across the room.

“Not the bedroom,” Jaehyun said. “Not on your bed.”

“Where?” John asked. “Bent over the counter? The couch? In the shower? The floor? You know what I like, Jae, why don’t you tell me what to do.”

You stood in your underwear. You couldn’t look at either of them. When John offered sex, a siren went off in your head. It was too irresistible to give in, to give Jaehyun what he wanted, while also forgetting about the way he made you feel. You could hate-fuck John and have it mean nothing. What you couldn’t do is end the night not telling the truth.

“Does it matter?” you asked. You cleared the distance between you and John and kissed him. The kiss was simple and emotionless. He tasted like sweet icing and wrong choices.

“Stop.” Jaehyun said.

John held your back, pulling you hard against his body. You did not stop. You closed your eyes and pretended you were kissing a taller version of Jaehyun. You couldn’t confirm, but you knew John must have been doing the same. Everything was, and had always been, about Jung Jaehyun.

#jaehyun #jaehyun smut #nct #nct smut #nct fanfiction #jaehyun fanfiction #jung jaehyun #this was meant to be longer but i'm breaking it up so it's not so overwhelming

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fancifulrealist · 5 years ago

Text

The Memory of Yesterday’s Romance

Pairing: Wonwoo x Reader

Genre: Past Life AU, Fantasy, Romance, Reincarnation

Please Read: I don’t have numerous experiences in writing such things like these. Actually, I was just starting to learn English by now so I’m utterly sorry for the flaws in the story. Some scenes might be cliche but I strive really hard to improve my plot-thinking skills. This is all that I can do for now :((

Word Count: 3, 039

Reminders: Y/N - Your Name.

Y/P/N - Your Name in the Past (or you could just use your name it’s just a little thingy to add a little flavor to the story)

Present Events will be in the first person perspective (The “I” perspective)

Past Events will be in the third person perspective and italics.

Enjoy!

A bolt of luminous lightning emerged throughout the sky along with the deafening sound of thunder clapping. The trees bend to let the whirling wind pass as leaves fly freely away from its branches. The look of the sky became more sorrowful, causing my heart to wrench.

Just as I was about to look up, the rain touched my skin. The cold, tiny droplets are causing me to shiver and startle me at the same time. I untied my jacket that was just wrapped around my waist and wore it, casually running to a waiting shed.

I fumbled with the things in my handbag as I fish for my phone. I dramatically raised it up, relieved that it was not wet from the rain.

“Hello?” I sighed when my sister answered after a few rings.

“Could you pick me up from the stop? I didn’t have money left because I bought the expensive croissant I’ve been babbling about for days. I regret it, really.” I told her in almost a form of whimper.

“Y/N! I told you not to break our cost cutting pledge to each other. We need to observe a healthier lifestyle. Fruits only cost like one half of that croissant you bought which will just vanish forever when you consume it.” She half shouted from the other line.

“I know, I know. I’ll hit the gym up when the weather’s great enough. Don’t ask me to walk home please.” I pleaded once again.

“Okay. Wait for me.” She ended the call.

As I put my phone back in its original place, I noticed a strange man walking on the subway with an umbrella. I studied him and I furrowed my eyebrows when I realized that he was… familiar.

He was wearing a royal blue hoodie with some Harry-Potter-looking specs. Although he wasn’t turning his head to my direction, I still held on to the littlest of hope that he did so that I can have a clearer view of his face.

I don’t know why I’m going all crazy over this stranger.. or is he? I have no assurance at all. Everything in the atmosphere right now gives me the feeling that I’ve already met him before. In this same place but I have no idea when.

“New sets of tea will be delivered later in the afternoon. Can’t wait to down them in my little porcelain cups.” Her sister’s words seemed inaudible to her as she was staring into a distance, to a boy carrying loads of blocks on his shoulder.

“Hello? Earth to Y/P/N?” Y/P/N was caught off guard by a hand waving vigorously in front of her face. Her sister then followed her gaze to see a—not too muscular but not skinny as well boy, panting behind the beautiful smile he flashed.

“A little bit of eye candy there, huh?” Her sister smirked, forgetting that they are actually the princesses of a kingdom.

“What eye candy? I was just looking at what they’re building.” Y/P/N scoffed, making her sister laugh in amusement.

“You know, father is not a picky type of guy when it comes to our relationship. As long as he can fight for you and is a really good man, that’s enough. Well, that’s based on my observation.”

The younger rolled her eyes. Her older sister always loved teasing her every chance she gets. Conversely, she loathed it to bits.

“Y/N! Did your soul fly somewhere else?” I thought that there was a thunderbolt that occurred when it fact it was just my sister’s deafening voice.

“Oh you’re here.” I deadpanned.

“Yes! I’ve been watching you staring blankly to a distance and it’s already creeping me out. Don’t tell me you are some kind of a possession medium of ghosts here or you sell your soul to hell because I’d despise you no matter how we are related girl.” She reacted, hinting a terrified look on her face.

I laughed at my sibling’s overreaction, “Relax. I just felt something odd, like a déjà vu. And who the heck would sell their soul to Satan?”

“You obviously.” She rolled her eyes on me.

Before this girl inflicts further argument in this shed under the bad weather, I voluntarily pulled her into her car, wanting to go home as soon as possible. I still have to take some rest. My schedule at the café is too packed, I almost gave in to the urge of cutting myself into pieces to do different tasks in one body. What can I do? I need money to live.

As we went back home, I plopped myself on my fluffy bed. Funny how a simple furniture could monopolize my whole being and wipe off all the tension in my body. This really is indeed, my querencia.

The next morning I woke up to the ray of sunshine hitting me directly in the face. This sounds cliché but I never thought it would happen to me. If it wasn’t for the biggest star and my pounding alarm I wouldn’t have been woken up from my deep slumber.

I got in my work uniform. It’s a simple barista uniform to be honest, like what most people would imagine it to look like. A beige blouse within a brown jumper and a name tag pinned on it. I almost looked identical to a cappuccino with my outfit. I guess that’s the point of this job anyways. Ironic but is a great marketing strategy.

I walked my way to work. It’s not that far away from home but I’d rather not consider walking alone at night with the distance. My sister is also working at a magazine company. I don’t have that much information about her job.

As I enter the shop, the staff greeted me with their welcoming smiles. That’s why I don’t feel pressured when working here, although the tasks to do are a lot, they respect each other and really try not to fuel up their stresses more.

“You’ll be in charge of the counter for today. I know it has been hard for you to adjust so I decided to give each of you a 1 week break after this week. More people, especially teens applied and they’re taking over first.” Manager said, making me smile in return.

“Thank you, boss. You’re the best.” I hugged him. Despite the short time I’ve been working in, I was able to build a close relationship with boss. He pushed me out of my inner shell and let me discover the real, massive world that I live in. I am a quiet person, but he is always the one I go to whenever I need to voice out.

I went straight onto the counter casually doing my job. I pretty much mastered all the things that are done here though it could still be a little hassle to bake pastries for me, I usually help my co-workers out with the proper measure of ingredients. A little math could go a long way.

“Do you have like, a gluten free frappe?” I stared up to a redhead in front of me. It looks like she’s on a strict diet as she was holding a burger with lettuces as the buns itself.

“I-I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t sell anything dietary here.” I said honestly. She grimaced as if she wasn’t hearing anything right about my statement.

“You don’t have? Sugar free coffee? Detox shake?” I shook my head and pursed my lips. “We only sell coffee here, ma’am. I deeply apologize for this inconvenience” I answered.

“This place is a nightmare!” She exclaimed and stormed out. Well, that was unexpected. Happenings like these don’t usually happen in this place and this is surprisingly the first one, with a girl on a very strict diet.

“That must be really hard to deal with.” A deep voice was heard.

I nodded, eyes still fixed on the monitor in front of me, “Yes. I’m surprised I handled it properly. What can I say? Introverts do have a lot of patience.” I answered.

“I’m an introvert too. I’m glad that I’m able to encounter someone like me around the city.” He answered.

I looked up to the guy I was conversing with and I almost lashed out around the place. He was the same guy I saw walking on the rain with the hoodie and Harry Potter eyeglasses. He was the oddly familiar stranger.

I felt a pang of piercing pain shoot through my heart. I felt like I wanted to tear up but I just can’t. I just don’t know why it hurts. It feels like my soul is in the wrong body and I’m starting to feel things I shouldn’t be feeling.

I saw his smile fade too as I sense the same feeling in his small eyes. As we stare at each other, there was an unusual connection between us. I know he can feel it too. I just wanted to come up to him and hug him very tight like we’ve never seen each other in so long.

He tore his gaze away from me and said his order. My fingers were shaking as I click the item on the monitor.

Once he got his order, he went out. But as he faced his back on my direction, a blue light shaped like a lightning glowed on his back, almost blinding me up as welled up tears already escape from my eyes. I felt vertiginous and completely blacked out.

“But I love him! I’d do anything just please.. please set me free. Let me stay with him.” She cried out holding on her father’s knees, begging for dear life and love.

“I don’t care about the feelings you share! I want you to grow up as a prosperous woman. Who’s going to feed your kids when we are gone? You are the oldest among your sisters! Think things through Y/P/N. You’ll be the next queen and you’ll go around marrying a man from the poor?” The king shouted back, scaring her off.

“Father, you don’t understand—“

“I do understand! And what I’m doing right now is correcting your selfish decisions. We’re going out of here to a very faraway place. You’re marrying a wealthy man and you’ll have a perfect life together.” He took her arms and gently pulled her away from him.

“How can I marry someone who doesn’t hold a space in my heart? I don’t want a forced life, father! I don’t want to be manipulated especially to a person whom I can share the rest of my life with. Please consider that all. I’m your daughter!”

She felt drained every second that passes by, losing hope and being driven by despair. She was becoming numb as she feels the chances of her staying fading away from her.. from them.

“I care for you. Stop talking to me already. Once I said it, I mean it and it’s definitely happening. Pack your things up because we’re going away later. You better do it.” The king stated for the last time, leaving Y/P/N crying on the floor.

Before they leave the place, Y/P/N requested to go to a wishing fountain. Surrounded by the armed guards, she sat on the side, tears flowing in unison with the flowing water on the center.

She grabbed a coin from her purse and closed her eyes, speaking her final wish to this place.

“I hope somewhere in time, fate will let us cross our paths again. The time where we are already happy and nothing will stop us. The life where we will share a firm relationship that even a numerous storms couldn’t stop us. I hope in another life, nothing will be built except love, sincerity, and unbreakable promises.” She tossed the coin as she watch the water plop.

They lived in a new home, new people, and a new atmosphere. Everything in the place was new, except Y/P/N endless melancholy which was built more up when she found out that Wonwoo was hit by a lightning while waiting for her on the fountain where she left her wishes from.

She was pensive, dull, and soulless after the news. She barely ate which resulted to more lectures from her father. She didn’t have the strength to do almost anything. Losing a loved one is like losing half of her being. She blamed herself for all these miserable happenings that occurred. Her beloved was killed by a love that she didn’t deserve.

She continued living by the days of her life, constantly wishing that in another life, events like these won’t ever happen. She often talked to the stars in the night, wishing her beloved to be at peace wherever he is and repeatedly assured him that he’s the only one who holds her heart.

“She’s awake.” I heard a series of muffled noises surrounding me. I looked around as my vision gets clearer by seconds. My co-workers were surrounding me but were sure to leave me a space to breathe.

I touched my forehead and it was sweaty, “What happened?” I perplexedly asked everyone.

“You suddenly passed out, Y/N. Are you sick? You shouldn’t have attended today if you were ill. We were so worried about you. I—“

“No, no. I was completely fine and stable earlier when I entered. I-I don’t know why this happened.” I replied cutting them off.

It felt like I was brought back to the past.. my past life. Everything was so real. The pain is still in my heart and my tears are still running over my cheeks. I was blinded from the reality.

After the incident, they let me out for me to take a rest. Honestly though, I don’t think I need it. I wasn’t sick when I greeted our boss. I wasn’t feeling drowsy when I dealt with the angry, dieting costumer. It all just happened when I saw that boy.

The boy whom I loved.

Instead of going home, I stopped by the fountain that was I think the same place where I made my wishes in. As I get closer to the structure, I felt a rush of nostalgia flow through me. Everything felt like I was witnessing them. Everything seemed… true.

When I sat on the ceramic side of the fountain, it magically rained. This time, I wasn’t frantic about the weather. In fact, I really want to melt right here, right now and let the droplets bring me back to where I used to be.

As I venture in this heavy weather, a boy passed by my sight. Despite the water falling from the sky, everything around became clear. It was Wonwoo in the same place as me. It was always him.

“W-Wonwoo!” I gathered all my strength to call him out with tears brimming in my eyes.

With no hesitations, we ran towards each other crashing into a very long hug. His arms were home to me. Regardless of the rain, I felt his warmth through me that I wasn’t even given a chance to experience and indulge.

“Here we are again.” He said and let out a chuckle despite the visible tears in his eyes.

“I know and I’m not surprised. Damn you. I saw you yesterday on the street and you left me thinking about how you were familiar to me all day. Turns out you were an old love,” I paused for a bit “That’s a bit cheesy but that’s true. ” I said.

He fished for something in his pockets until he grabbed a blue, velvet box. He led me to a shed where there is enough protection for the both of us from the rain.

“I guess this moment works best in this weather because two people of opposite sex in love in the rain is considered romantic. Thanks to The Notebook.” He opened the box and it revealed a ring with a heart engraved in the center of it.

“I kept this in hopes of seeing her again and I’m downright glad I did.” He looked at me with a genuine smile creeping up his face.

“Are you proposing to me?” I jokingly asked as he shook his head slowly.

“No, no. It’s too soon for that but I do know and I’m sure it will happen in time. I just wanted to give you this for.. a promise to keep. I promise to never let you go again. Never in a million years. This ring will signify a love bounded to be made forever. In another life, in another century this will be given to a woman who deserves nothing but freedom, happiness and true love. For now, we’ll be playing this part. We’ll never be gone, Y/N. Our story will just repeat unceasingly in the future.”

I lend him my hand and he pushed the ring on my finger. I looked at it, taking a few seconds to admire the mesmerizing gleam of the diamond.

“I promise to never leave you alone again and speak out for what is right. I’m sorry for everything. Just please.. don’t wait for me because now, I’ll never go and will never even think of doing so. Don’t risk your own life waiting for me, please. I apologize from the bottom of my heart that I—“

“It all happened already and it’s in the past. It’s already done, okay? And as soon as now, we’ll change fate. We’ll change everything. And remember,” He held my hand, “You’re worth risking for.”

With tears still flowing, I embraced him again. I’m happy that fate has let us cross our paths again this time. This is a living proof that the skies listened to my desires and my hopeful words to the wind were fulfilled even in a very long time.

This, The Memory of Yesterday’s Love will never cease and will continue to unfold with different stories and events. This love was destiny’s masterpiece and it still is as it keeps on going. Now and forever there will be.

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murasaki-murasame · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 13: “How Have You Been, My Brother?”

In this week’s episode of Fruits Basket, we find out that Ayame is a bottom :)

Seriously though, I ended up being exactly as ‘meh’ toward this episode as I knew I would be, but I still have stuff to say about it.

Thoughts under the cut.

To start off with, this episode adapted chapters 21 and 22, same as what episode 14 of the 2001 anime did, although I think the 2001 anime cut out a handful of scenes from these chapters. One way or another I’m pretty sure this is one of those times where there’s barely any differences at all between the two adaptations, since they’re both roughly 1:1 adaptations of the same material. Soon enough there’ll be more episodes that cover stuff that wasn’t in the 2001 anime at all, though, so that’ll be fun. If I remember right, I think the leak we got of the outline for most of season 1 of the reboot indicated that we’ll be getting Uo’s backstory in a few weeks, which was only vaguely touched on in the 2001 anime.

It makes sense that this episode just adapted those two chapters that make up Ayame’s introduction, but I’d been wondering for a while if they might find a way to incorporate chapter 36 [the one where we actually see his clothing store] into this, if only to edit things down a bit. But considering how long it seems like the reboot’s going to be, it makes sense that they probably didn’t feel a need to make that sort of edit. We’ll see how it goes, but I think that part might be adapted around the very start of season 2, at this rate. I guess we’ll see.

I said last time that for the time being we’re basically alternating between heavy and light episodes, and this is definitely one of the more outright comedic episodes of the reboot thus far. Which is part of why I ended up being kinda ‘meh’ about it. I think the comedy just doesn’t work quite as well in the reboot as the drama, but honestly it’s more that I just don’t really like Ayame as a character, and his specific brand of flamboyant comedy.

Not to be all Discoursey on Main [tm] for the billionth time about something in this series, but ever since I read the manga for the first time I’ve just always been super put off by the whole running joke with him and Shigure where we’re apparently meant to just laugh at the hypothetical idea of them being in a relationship, and that’s . . . the entire joke. That’s all there is to it. They say some sexually suggestive stuff to each other in front of the other characters that they’d only seriously say if they were dating, and then everyone gets mad at them. Rinse and repeat. Let’s just say that I think this would be a lot less off-putting if there were any actual examples of, y’know, ACTUAL gay relationships in this series, at all, so that you could actually take this running gag in a vacuum as just being about Ayame and Shigure’s sense of humor together. But when it’s the only time when the story even vaguely acknowledges the concept of gay relationships, it’s not a very good look to expect the audience to laugh at it every time.

Which also extends to the whole high-school flashback with Ayame talking about being a bottom and wanting all the boys at school to just have sex with him if they need to.

It just feels like a whole string of humor done *at the expense of* gay people, so I’ve just never liked it.

It doesn’t help that even though near the end of this episode we learn about how much Ayame likes Hatori and how it’s like the big thing that finally makes Yuki start to respect him as a person, it never exactly gets explored or developed, aside from a few more jokes about how Hatori’s the only person Ayame listens to. And then there’s a whole other aspect of Ayame’s character that hasn’t come up yet that I’ll get into when it does.

Aside from all that, I don’t even know if there’s much more to even say about this episode, since like 90% of it is just jokes involving Ayame, lol. It’s not exactly the most eventful episode ever.

We do get some more hints at what Yuki’s childhood was like, though, by hearing Ayame talk about how he has basically abandoned Yuki every step of the way, and is now trying to repent for that. The part where he casually dropped the line of Yuki being ‘quarantined, partly because he was sickly’ does a whole lot to subtly foreshadow the whole nature of exactly what Yuki’s childhood was like, and what sort of connection he has with Akito.

I also do still like the whole conversation he has with Tohru about wanting to repent for his past mistakes because he has a clearer understanding of these sorts of things now that he’s older. It’s not something I 100% relate to because I’ve always been the younger sibling within my family, but it’s one of the points where I do respect Ayame for who he is, and I think he serves a pretty important role in the story when it comes to Yuki’s backstory and development.

Tohru’s whole scene of talking about her mother’s philosophy of holding onto the memory of your childhood self so that you can properly empathize with children even when you’re an adult is also super good, and is the sort of thing I wish more people took to heart. Even though everyone’s been a child at some point, a lot of people willfully abandon their memory of what it was actually like to be a child, in the pursuit of maturity and independence, and that can often lead to parents not understanding their children even though they really should be able to.

Also, the whole background detail of Haru noticing that Ayame came to visit Yuki, and him arranging to have Hatori intervene so that Yuki doesn’t have to deal with him for too long, is still super cute. The little moment of him excitedly clutching Yuki’s shirt and then smiling at him is one of those moments where you really remember that Haru’s still just a young teenage boy [who I will PROTECT with my LIFE]

Anyway, it looks like the next episode will cover Momiji’s backstory and presumably the grave visit chapter, which I think everyone who read the manga, or even who watched the 2001 anime, could guess, since those parts come straight after this one. And going along with the whole pattern we have going on, after this episode was super fun and comedic, the next one’s gonna be super depressing, lol.

It’s also worth noting that we’ll be officially moving into the second cour of this first season with the next episode, so I’m wondering if we’ll get a new set of OP and ED themes to go along with it, or if we’ll just keep the current ones until the end of the season. The fact that they haven’t announced anything about it, as far as I can tell, makes me think they’ll just keep the same OP and ED for now. Which is fine. I’m a big fan of the current ones, so having them stick around for another 12-ish episodes is fine by me.

#murasaki rambles #fruits basket #for the record I'm still on the ayame/hatori ship and nobody can stop me :)

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privateschoolatlanta3-blog · 5 years ago

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Why Private University? A glance on the Possible Added benefits

Private Schools in Atlanta

The problem of how to educate a child is without doubt one of the most crucial a parent can request. A primary decision a large number of parents struggle with is that of community vs. non-public college. Mothers and fathers don't would like to consider on needless expenditures when they won't in the long run gain their youngster. Immediately after all, several public colleges do an outstanding occupation of educating college students. But though it really is true that public schools don't have tuition prices (plus a personal school can run, on ordinary from twelve,000 to 30,000 bucks a calendar year), the benefits of a non-public schooling can nonetheless considerably outweigh the prices dependent on the local selections dad and mom could experience.

Private School Sandy Springs

College students who attend private schools is usually extra academically challenged, subjected to clearer value methods, presented bigger accessibility to instructors, and could merely truly feel safer than community general public college options. In the event you do decide to pursue non-public education in your child, start out the investigate system early. Admission to personal universities might be competitive, and finding a university that could be a fantastic healthy on your youngster wherever he / she are going to be even be recognized, may take some time.

An increased Bar:

A significant gain to personal training is the fact that your child will likely be challenged to some greater academic conventional. Private colleges may be much more academically rigorous than general public universities, and personal university learners can have to meet additional standards to help keep up their grade level averages. According to the Condition of Education and learning 2001, within the National Center for Schooling Stats, Personal large universities commonly have additional demanding graduation specifications than do community large educational institutions.

In contrast with community educational institutions, non-public faculties demanded a lot more coursework (in 4-year high school courses). Extra might be envisioned of personal university pupils when it comes to excellent of labor, program workload, and specific prerequisites these types of as community provider or Arts participation. In certain universities, what would generally be thought of extracurricular activities, are stipulations for graduation, which in the long run round out students' highschool experience. The drive to meet this larger common generally results in a higher standard of pupil overall performance. In a modern NAEP report it absolutely was observed that, 'Students in non-public faculties scored noticeably over the nationwide normal in grades 4, eight, and twelve.

Since the report set it, 'Performance brings about 2002 exhibit that, in any respect 3 grades, students who attended nonpublic schools had larger common composing scores than college students who attended community universities.' In general, a pupil given the opportunity to attend a non-public university will more than likely attain the next volume of tutorial accomplishment.

University student Instructor Ratio:

Non-public universities also often deal with managing their course dimensions. The NCES Educational facilities and Staffing Study uncovered that, 'Private large colleges on typical are considerably less than half the size of public faculties. In central towns, such as, the average dimension of a personal highschool is 398, when compared to 1,083 for your general public university.' College students of personal schools could have far more chances to form associations with their teachers, which may direct them to higher educational good results. In these instances, a college student is specified help for her or his distinct educational complications, which can enable the concern to become resolved immediately and properly.

Once any issues inhibiting a student's progress have been tackled, the kid can go on to achieve at her or his highest stage. Within the Affliction of Training 2002, it had been located that, 'Placing learners in compact teams has a tendency to foster shut operating associations amongst teachers and students, consequently boosting learning, particularly amongst at-risk students and those while in the early grades.'

Also, small classes allow the teachers to have a better perception of who your child is, and what his / her unique strengths and weaknesses are. Your child will even have additional possibilities to speak up and engage in course conversations. Furthermore, college students might be presented office environment hrs all through which the teacher is going to be obtainable. Students who may have labored carefully with their teachers are much less most likely to truly feel intimidated about utilizing these time and energy to actively request enable from their instructors immediately.

Exposure to the Arts:

Non-public colleges hold the ability to generate their very own curriculum. While, they have to in the long run put together college students with all the exact fundamental program as some other college, non-public colleges also have the option to incorporate a variety of elements to their applications. Private faculty administrators generally build applications that emphasize the arts, possibly more so than community public schooling alternatives.

Colleges may pick to supply elaborate performs and musicals, offering learners distinctive chances to investigate their skills and express them selves. Government laws on general public educational institutions protect against them from paying much more than a particular percentage of college money over the Arts. Non-public colleges, nevertheless, will not be subject for the identical regulations, plus they have extra freedom to produce and develop these systems because they wish. Some private educational institutions may possibly even offer filmmaking or movie generation courses which happen to be options typically reserved for college learners.

Possibly More Funds:

The tutoring that you choose to along with the other moms and dads of a non-public faculty lead normally will go toward developing and funding unique programs that will be restricted in general public educational facilities. The varsity could possibly supply other functions such as particular area journeys that reinforce the school's curriculum. This kind of trips can provide your child chances to variety near friendships and establish independence. The college could possibly have much more funds out there to supply supplies to student-run clubs. The college also may perhaps develop packages that improved tie the humanities or sciences into the total general curriculum.

A Thrust In direction of Faculty:

Private higher educational institutions can instill their students together with the expectation of attending school. Knowledge through the Countrywide Schooling Longitudinal Examine of 1988, 'Fourth Follow-up' (NELS: 1988/2000) display that, 'Students who experienced attended private university in eighth quality were being 2 times as very likely as those who experienced attended community university to obtain concluded a bachelor's or higher diploma by their mid-20s (52 vs . 26 %) and much significantly less possible to acquire had no postsecondary education.'

With college or university being a emphasis, pupils is often much more goal oriented, and sometimes components of your educational facilities curriculum are going to be especially aimed at getting ready your son or daughter for faculty. A lot of personal educational facilities are even referred to as 'college preparatory.' Private universities frequently really encourage their college students to choose an active purpose of their individual university admission method. Pupils may possibly be provided a lot more obtain to details about university alternatives, and they may well be built much more knowledgeable with the prerequisites they have to satisfy to qualify for the particular school.

Neighborhood Service and also a Perception of Values:

Personal educational facilities frequently place a serious emphasis on particular values. When selecting a private college to your baby, it really is probable to find a faculty that incorporates a great deal of the have values into its each day curriculum. Non-public educational facilities normally have honor codes and stricter behavioral expectations that assistance college students acquire into mature grown ups.

According to the Condition of Schooling 2001 within the Nationwide Centre for Instruction Statistics, 'At non-public educational institutions, a better proportion of youngsters experienced mother and father who were being quite satisfied with buy and self-control than with the school or academics in 1999.' Parents tend to be supplied better say at school procedures at personal faculties.

Lots of private educational institutions need that their college students total a mandatory quantity of local community company hours. This not just presents the apparent benefit of instilling a sense of respect to the local community as well as the significance of making a contribution to culture, nevertheless it also occurs to be one thing schools in particular favor. College students could also uncover achievable profession alternatives whilst fulfilling this provider need these as political involvement to aid the group or counseling for endangered teenagers. Group service ordeals teach pupils that training goes outside of the walls in the school, and that it occasionally involves motion and initiative.

Discipline and Safety:

Past the point that lesser school rooms are by their very mother nature less complicated to manage, most personal colleges set distinctive emphasis on self-control. Whether or not your son or daughter does not have self-discipline issues, disruptive friends could get away from your kid's beneficial learning time. The Condition of Schooling 2002 states that, 'Private college lecturers were far more very likely than public university instructors to convey that they had lots of impact on placing student efficiency requirements (sixty three as opposed to 38 p.c) and on university student discipline plan (forty eight as opposed to thirty p.c).'

The thrust for self-discipline in private universities teaches youngsters self control, which can ultimately become a prerequisite in higher education where the scholar will be considerably much more responsible for his or her very own attendance, and accomplishment. Also, stricter disciplinary insurance policies imply that any key troubles is going to be dealt with and eradicated rapidly. Regular crimes that plague community faculties are significantly less popular at personal colleges. The varsity Crime and Basic safety Report located that, 'Students in general public universities (37.3 per cent) ended up extra apt to view hate-related graffiti in school than their counterparts in non-public universities (sixteen.eight p.c).'

A Phrase About Lecturers:

Because teachers at private universities usually are not required to get paid the exact same certifications as general public university academics, some mothers and fathers stress the instructors aren't as skilled. This can be not automatically correct. Personal educational institutions should keep their reputations and make favourable word of mouth to outlive. Towards this conclusion, personal educational institutions are frequently incredibly selective about who they area in front of their pupils, plus they select educators with instruction precise to the subject matter they are going to be instructing.

A Local community in Alone:

When you plan to enroll your child inside a personal school, your family will become section of a community of family members while using the identical plans. Mother and father at private educational facilities are more concerned within the life of your students and several school occasions. As a mum or dad, you could contain the chance to attach with other parents to discuss the lives of your children. These kinds of relationships enable mom and dad to master from one another and assist one another.

The scholars also profit from your neighborhood ambiance of personal educational facilities. The really certain personalities of personal schools often guide the students to have a strong feeling of satisfaction and loyalty to your university and its local community. The scholar can also profit from affiliation towards the faculty much further than graduation working day. Several non-public educational facilities have alumni mentoring systems that join more mature alumni with newer types. Current graduates could discover internship options with alumni who may have been performing in their industry of interest.

Each and every Household differs:

Despite the several advantages of private schooling, it must be claimed that non-public university is not for every youngster. Some small children would reward within the diversity a public college can give. Some dad and mom would favor their youngsters to become extra targeted on the core subjects fairly when compared to the arts and extracurricular interests. And, naturally, the money stress that a non-public faculty delivers is appreciable. No scholar is strictly similar to a further, and only a mother or father can understand what the most beneficial alternative is for his / her boy or girl. Any child, no matter if in personal or community school, will need the lively participation of his or her moms and dads so that you can reach legitimate results.

School Decision:

The most important advantage of personal schooling is choice. Alternatively than sending your son or daughter into a general public college that is definitely demanded depending on geography, now you have opened up a variety of many universities that could have extremely various educational kinds and emphases, simply because you will be selecting personal education and learning. Every single non-public faculty provides a unique identity, and using a tiny investigate, particular faculties will arise within the pool as possessing more capabilities than that will advantage your child.

Probably the school is affiliated with your family's religious faith, and also your youngster is often provided a religious training together together with his or her main research. Perhaps the faculty emphasizes crafting, or it pushes self-expression. Together with the extensive a number of private educational institutions readily available, it's simple to choose a college that should help your son or daughter to shine and build the values you find primary.

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