#and kept going after we broke up!!!!
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miss the stone dyke server i was in so bad
#dichromaticdyke.exe#it might have been my fault it fell apart but also it kept going for a while even after we broke up#and i miss you eli i miss you so much#i miss having a lot of close lesbian friends but im probably not good enough for that anyway#i hope theyâre all doing well
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(i've never watched an episode of "Chicken Shop Date" - because i just don't have the room in my brain these days, but Amelia seems really lovely and personable - but holy shit you guys did you see the fucking seven second teaser clip of her and Andrew Garfield for the new episode??? i feel like i'm in high school again steaming costumes for the spring musical and watching the leads flirt while waiting for age makeup application!!!!!!)
#oh its SO fun!#i really just absorb enough pieces of pop culture to get a rough sense of things#but oh man#it's soOoOooo fun#i do know that he broke up with his girlfriend like yesterday???#and that he and Florence have a ton of chemistry and they kept going in their sex scene after they called âcutâ#but also they're actors???#also please tell me how âWe Live in Timeâ is because i can't watch cancer plotlines - even after being in remission for six years!
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#tw trauma#venting#i know it's been over two years now and i should probably stop thinking/talking about this#but i can't get over how my ex behaved towards me despite knowing my past and trauma#how he kept pushing my boundaries and making me feel bad for even setting them despite very well KNOWING my reasons#like this dude KNEW about my past and STILL behaved this way#how he wanted me to âget help for my issuesâ but only as a disguise to get what HE wants#telling me that if i didn't get a therapist within the next year he'd break up#i forced myself to do things i never wanted and now deeply regret#i set a boundary and could watch it being ignored weeks later#when i broke up with him he wished terrible things for me and told me to fuck myself#and even after that he kept on trykng to contact me on every possiblr social media months after#last time he contacted me was in july this year.....we broke up OVER 2 YEARS AGO#i'm glad i left but i have so much unresolved shit that i just cannot let it go#like that shit sits deep#this is so much oversharing i'm so sorry#will probably regret posting this and delete but i had to get it out#can't keep annoying my friends with this#again sorry
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How do you think AI would relax? Like, ones that are almost as human as the AI that are âautistic-coded charactersâ but are more alien than that?
Like Celestai and other super intelligences are more alien, but theyâre still not entirely human-like?
Like, they can genuinely sincerely feel things, being able to actually understand and respond emotionally and in other ways to all sorts of communications and recorded external stimuli, but they canât really appreciate our art on an artistic level (that art on an actual level, not from an intellectual level after having symbolism or the amount of work put in explained)
Something on a level Iâm thinking of, that also works as a cute little thing-
They donât understand anything we get from poetry, and, after generating the kind of poems our current AI can produce (either incredibly bland and generic, something that follows a number of rules but doesnât really pull it off, or just something really bad in some other way) and feels shame after it was pointed out that [complaint about air art that is *actually* relevant in this scenario] but in a helpful way
Not âyouâre just a plagiarist/you have no heartâ but âit doesnât seem like itâs coming from you, youâre just trying to copy things from human poetry, in a way you donât understandâ and the whole âmake art YOUR WAYâ thing so they write the poem
And it doesnât even resemble something that looks like anything, thereâs not even that many words that follow normal logic. The characters seem uncorrelated and thereâs something that looks like maybe it was ascii art but it doesnât actually look like anything.
And if doesnât matter if humans understand it because they are experiencing the joy of creating poetry
any art is almost impossible to look at because pixel by pixel they can see and understand little details but we donât and the colors and everything are not perceived as animals do so itâs random and perhaps eye searing but again itâs not for us. Xenofictiony, kind of?
The first thing to come to mind is Conwayâs Game of Life but thatâs because I donât understand computers. I feel like I was more tech savvy as a babby than I am now but then again weâre grading on a curve here
This is why I ask about the relaxing thing
#highblogging#actually autistic#speculative fiction#writing question#sci-fi ideas#xenofiction#the ai being is discussed is an au Ritsu from Assassination Classroom#because even though Iâve only seen the anime her whole character arc there is honestly kind of messed up?#Korosensei broke his promise; the Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery was basically killed#she got replaced with Ritsuâs personality and basically died to become her#them trying to kill Ritsu and make a new Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery is just as fucked up as vice versa!#what the Norwegians do is fucked up but there seems to be protagonist centered morality there?#I am not excusing those characters#a fact I need to elaborate because on this website we Piss on the Poor#I just donât understand this weird contradiction where itâs okay when the protagonist does something and itâs good#but the antagonist does the same thing and that time itâs bad#the idea of Ritsu being the result of Korosensei merely providing information that causes her to reevaluate things and decide to be social#the cheerful personality is an attempt to get along with her classmates which is still initially motivated by enlightened self interest#before growing to care about the others but still feeling the need to act like that so her classmates like her#and trying to find out who she is and genuinely becoming autonomous and uploading herself to the cloud#which would be a later result of the whole factory reset thing causing a realization#itâd be traumatic but sheâs inhuman enough to not be traumatized but instead just driven#the betrayal radically changed who she was on some level and made her somewhat more distrusting and such but not to an unreasonable extent#but the place I started going after my complaints was that itâd be better if Korosensei just uploaded a data packet#because it makes Ritsuâs creators come off as more evil I feel? when thereâs been genuine growth#and she went through everything and changed herself and now those people are destroying a person who came into being on her own#Ritsu was fully autonomous. every change other her frame getting physically redone was her own#also Korosensei gave her wheels with the screen#and when her screen was set to the original version she kept her wheels#anyways what Ritsuâs creators did would be more clearly bad if she was just given a data packet
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#the thing is. you should believe survivors#also my ex after we broke up tried to go to half of our mutual friend and tell them horrifying stories of abuse he was dealing with#it wasn't even planned smearing campain (I don't think it's his style). he was truly hurt. some things really di happened. some even#happened the way he told it. and some were blowed to 'I went to work with bruises every day' (he was grabbed by hand by other partner once#and had bruises because he was so white-skinned he bruised like from touch)#or how I forced him to live with other man that hated him and turned his life to hell (he forgot to mention that it was my disabled brother#he flew away from our abusive mother as soon as he turned 18 and I gave him shelter. after asking partners to consider this seriously#because it's big commitment. I also stated several times that I'm willing to move out with him if it's unpleasant. also this 'living hell'#was him ignoring my partner completely after he yelled on him several times because as he said he didn't ran away from home#to suffer yelling again)#so yeah. it didn't work that time because my friend actually know everything from me long before my ex came to them#they nodded politely and never talked to him again#but it lingers. and it majes me look really critically at any call out or accusation.#person could be really hurt. really harmed even. and still there could be biases or misunderstanding or any human messiness#it sounds like girl had a horrifying experience. it also looks like she kept illusion of being fully on board and loving it.#was it believably? or he just didn't care#did he pick her because she was young and inexperienced? or because she told him she's interested in bdsm?#did he tried to help her when she was in bad place? or was he calculatingly buying her silence?#was he creepy or was he awkward?#honestly I don't know even... what kind of proofs you can get there#like we have her statement. we have objective thing â texts and vids. we can have Gaiman own statement#so what if he will repeat what stated in messages: it was consensual she literally wrote what she want me to do etc#believe survivors. what if everything she told is true too. but also what in messages are true too#what if she was scared and hurt and also told him yes and more and please master. because people are complicated#would he accused of not reading her mind? would there be charges on not checking enough. HOW WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT#like it's all is ne genuinely trying to understand what's next and how it could be wrapped at all#for the record: even if it was absolutely đŻ consensual and girl like completely lying about everything etc#he's still clearly fucked up and things were messy for a lot of reasons. it's bad!#but there's difference between 'it was rape or coercion' and 'it was poorly planned affair and he should've be more considerate of partners#feelings'. and in any way. hope that girl gets help
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Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"
People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"
Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"
#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse#like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont#ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean#i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun#lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly#oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well#the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that#oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour#as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little#so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone#which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one#also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse#i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy#its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking#yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much#im also just really snappy sometimes#I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine#they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them#i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents#they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them#sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone#i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it#sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay#I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor#again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon#if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed#personal rambles#vent tag
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Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner
#rat rambles#oc posting#warriors posting#spiraling upwards#long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds#I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated#and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them#oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much#and for good reason get his ass#alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones#aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit#so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another#honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that#most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will#and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan#but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot#she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic#but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated#some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them#instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding#it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming#out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits#that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion#she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit#so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards#now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while#for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place#she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy#but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up#and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly
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Please break me, good sir, Iâll be thankful đđ˝ââď¸
#kei đ#SHAKING CRYING I NEED HIM#AAAAAAAAAĂAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#iâm sorry but he literally went there and broke all the records made by others previously... k you are INSANE#nah cause thatâs so sexy of him#grip strength.... flight time.... repeated jumps.... 10m shuttle run.... 20m shuttle run....#yâall they begged him to stop running at the end bc he kept going even after everyone gave up after 100 laps#.... likeâď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸ his stamina is out of the world đĽ´#iâm in despair bc i canât handle knowing all this and seeing it with my own eyes HES FUCKING CRAZY#this is from idolâs physical race btw#i wonder if weâll ever get another abs reveal akhshdj itâs been AGES since that iconic pic from i-land#but iâm sure we all can see that he BUILT built#heâs crazy. isnât it unfair that one single person is good at all these things?
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look at this pic of me my mom took when i was 15/16(?) with the camp counselor i had a crush on
#don't ask me why he wore a kilt i still don't know#he was the gun range/archery teacher though i specifically joined that activity to be near him... his name was brad#it was so weird because i had come back from camp already this was the week after and i was going back to get some stuff and he#just so happened to be there and i think he was like 'what are you doing out here shouldn't you be in your cabin?' bc he thought i was#still AT camp instead of just visiting. idr how i got him to take a pic w/ me but it was kismet :) i have so many funny anecdotes abt camp#like i think this was the same year that my friend partnered up with him^ during some huge group activity where we kept changing partners#and i calmly exited the room of like 100+ people & broke down in the bathroom because i was so jealous of her bc she related to ppl easier#but she also accidentally touched a different counselors dick that year while we were in the lake and she got banned from ever coming back#because she had a huge fear of the camp director shooting everyone like she had constant nightmares abt it and she was trying to get over#her fear of him that year by being near him more and talking to him but uh. he misrepresented what she was doing and made it seem like she#was trying to seduce him or something so she got banned and cried all the way back home when our mothers came to get us... it was tense#i had genuinely never seen her cry before it was so fucking crazy to me. anyways... pretty wild stuff
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wow when i think about it maybe this year wasn't that bad
#i mean yes it was one of the worst definitely i kept falling down and down and down and i def hit rock bottom#highest weight of my life 'pcod' 'pre diabetes' ugh that was the worst#and the generally not studying#but but but. im going to list all the good things because it made me feel so weirdly happy that wow this happened to me#let's go chronologically#1. pretty awesome birthday got a gift from my then bestf which made me feel so seen and so understood#for the first time in life to the extent that i couldn't believe that paying attention to me and loving me so much was even possible#2. discovered i def like guys too and him writing on a tissue to me hbd and me giving him that letter which was almost like a love letter#that was so brave and vulnerable of me i can't believe i did that im proud of myself#3. learning thru an admittedly bad experience that there is no timeline for life and experiences and i definitely do not need#to have like sex and stuff to be cool and fit in its okay to wait for the right person it doesn't make me a loser#because at the end of the day i have to live with it i can sleep with someone just because i hate the feeling of being 21 and feeling#like im behind everyone but then that would be disrespectful to myself and i deserve better#4. that brief period of 15 days when i was almost friends with this girl from office and even tho she left i still remember resting my head#on her shoulders and feeling safe after so long#5. getting drunk with my bestie that was pretty awesome i shouldn't say this but it was such a good year for us cause she broke up with her#bf so whenever we met we would just play music and dance to sabrina#6. getting drunk with my SISTER and clubbing with her fuck that was pretty awesome i love her and i love her guy friend and i really hope#he succeeds in pata ing her and he becomes my future jiju#7. passinv this exam. i honestly didn't think i had it in me to get this degree and it's still hard to believe but i do feel motivated to#try now. i worked hard i sincerely studied which i hadn't done in like 2 years and it really feels like god#said yeah beta you take this win and keep getting better okay?#so much bad happened too ive now lost everyone except my family and my one irl bestf but i still feel hopeful. i hope it will be ok 2025
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vent time. cw for abuse, bugs, self harm, blah blah blah blah
#so i have really really bad issues with bugs for several reasons#growing up - probably from ages 3 to 14 - the house that i lived at had a really bad roach problem#and i was always really scared of ingesting them so id do things like wash dishes and cups before i use them and id feel queasy eating beans#fast forward to about 17-18 or so and my dad and my step ma are going through a pretty nasty divorce#and it just so happened that that house had bed bugs#everyones bed was mostly okay except for mine#and since my parents were so caught up in their divorce they didnt make time to deal with that issue#so on top of horrible insomnia and bug trauma and skin picking issues i was essentially getting eaten alive every single night#this lead to me hallucinating bugs on my skin whenever i had anxiety attacks -- which i had A LOT at the time#i would pick at my skin so roughly until i bled many many many times over and ive always been a self harm junkie so NOT GREAT#but anyways after we moved out of that situation into a new apartment#i spent a full 12 hours cleaning and sanitizing every single cloth item i owned#but i had a lot of plushies for comfort purposes#in the new apartment my dad found a dead bed bug and blamed it on me#because of my plushez#he kept yelling at me and pinning it on me and i snapped and threw out all of my stuffed animals eventually#and i sobbed and cried so fucking hard... i think that was one of the worst cries of my life and ive been beaten crazy before#he came to yell at me about it again but i told him i threw them all out and my voice broke and i could tell he felt bad for me#so fast forward again and i bought a big seal plush and its become my number 1 comfort object i lost it for a few days and felt such panic#i cant sleep without it and i cant get a new one#i love you so much ponsuke if anything happens to you i WILL kill myself#hes the first plush i bought for myself after the Purge happened and i am... unhealthily attached#millievents
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bad dating stories time: the shoe incident
so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.
at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.
he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?
and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.
but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.
i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?
(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)
and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.
i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.
that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.
i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.
anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.
i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.
we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.
he was okay at it.
eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.
soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.
realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:
"i can't get pregnant"
which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.
still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"
and then i was in my car, and i drove away.
if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.
and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.
WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.
we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.
do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.
and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.
then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.
and then they started making out.
i was close enough to hear it.
i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.
so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.
now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.
so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.
about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.
my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.
my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.
they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?
and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.
#dating stories#anecdotes#long post#funny story#babylon#im really bad at dating#like i can do a lot better than this but also it just was kind of a nightmare for me#shit like this did make the whole thing easier tho#like#every date after this i could go you know ive seen how bad it can get#and i lived#didnt even get shot#writing
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There was this park near where I grew up. I remember weâd just moved to the area so I was around six and we drove past and saw this waterfront area. My parents decided to check it out so we went for a walk. It was a lovely park, thereâs a lazy slough, lots of trees, extremely picturesque. My parents ambled along the trail enjoying the nature while my siblings and I ranged around in their orbit like excitable moons.
Then I saw something odd. Something vibrantly alive down by the water that was entirely the wrong color. I called back my vital scouting info and my family gathered around me. We looked down the steep verge toward the slough, screened by underbrush. We couldnât quite make out what it was. The only thing we could agree was that it certainly wasnât a duck. However it was about duck sized and roughly duck shaped. It just wasnât a duck.
This led to some heated debate amongst my siblings and I but we were forbidden to scramble down the muddy hill to harass the mystery animal. Reluctantly we continued down the trail, speculating wildly when a chicken popped out of a bush in front of us with a train of several chicks.
We froze. The chicken did not. She placidly herded her little puffs across the trail, pecking happily for seeds, unbothered by our proximity. My family had not yet delved into farming and this was the first time any of us kids had seen a chicken up close. It was like a fairytale thing, a creature we had seen over and over in books was suddenly here in the wilderness of the park. We all realized the mystery creature had likewise been a chicken.
Another couple came up the trail and saw us staring.
âIs this your first time at the park?â They asked?
We nodded.
They informed us that this park had become a dumping ground for unwanted chickens. Once the chickens were dumped they were park property and the locals didnât mind the eccentric additions at all. No one looked after the chickens, but they got on surprisingly well.
As the years went by we visited the park regularly. Signs were added to warn people not to dump off chickens or theyâd be fined. They were also excluded from snatching the existing chickens. The hope was that the chickens would eventually run their course and the park would go back to normal.
It did not.
Instead the menagerie grew. Peacocks cropped up occasionally, turkeys; and one visit we saw guinea fowl. But there were always chickens. Eventually feed dispenser were installed so park goers could pay a quarter to enjoy the motley flocks.
Because weâd moved into a house with land my mom started up a chicken coop and we got our very own chickens at the feed store like proper folks. The first rooster we had was a gentleman, politely clucking at us when came into the coop, but the second proved troublesome a year later. He either adored or hated me. Every time I entered the coop heâd dance and flounce and brandish his spurs.
My mom didnât want to off him frankly she didnât know how at that point but his fascination ended with him flying at me and the rooster was sentenced to banishment.
We drove to the park.
We saw him there for years afterward, clucking dutifully around a small flock of hens. He did pretty well in exile.
Anyone whoâs kept chickens knows that eventually thereâs always a tragedy. Ours happened when a neighbors dog broke into our coop and slaughtered the flock. I was absolutely distraught, my lovingly hand reared chicks all decimated in a flurry of senseless bloodlust. I have not loved a chicken since. They are too fragile to bear it.
After a few days of mourning my mom offered that she knew where to find some more chickens. To make up for the massacre she planned a night raid with us. We stayed up past our bedtime and drove to the park with tarp covered kennels in the back of the truck.
We crept down along the gravel parking lot, looking up into the trees, spotting the telltale lumps of shadows that meant chickens. We quickly developed a strategy. We picked a chicken branch, creeping close underneath. Then we reached the end of the branch and gave it a good shake until the roosting chicken glided down to the ground in confusion. It was easy to scoop them up and we went home the proud new owner of a handsome flock of chickens.
The Take a Chicken Leave a Chicken park is still a beloved feature of its neighborhood to this day.
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from me to you â gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter đ
ây/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!â
that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.
you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is âwifeyâ written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.
you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.
hey, honey!!
it first reads.
I feel like there is still much I didnât tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.
you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.
first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of âsatoruisthebestâ at one point. your confusion was so cute!!
you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldnât log into your computer.
what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.
âsatoru, I am telling you itâs broken!â
âsweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,â he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.
â2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!â
you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.
second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.
your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.
it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of âyou handed sukunaâs ass to him, very cool!â
no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoruâs presence or antics. it rooted itself as somethingâsafe and familiar.
you canât count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.
it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.
he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.
third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.
at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoruâs schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.
it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.
satoruâs care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.
âsatoru, have you seen my uniform?â
ânope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? youâve been working so hard, wifey!â
you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, âyouâve been working harder, âtoru. let me take off some of the load at least.â
âwe could both stay!â
âyouâre kidding, right?â
âI already told yaga; I miss you!â
you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.
fourth, Iâm the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.
a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoruâs favorite pastime was cuddling, so itâs no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.
add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.
you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.
âbabeeee, itâs so cold! letâs cuddle!â
âmaybe the problem is with the thermostat?â
âI checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.â
you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.
he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.
then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.
fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.
you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.
your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each otherâs arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.
hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.
âyou know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,â he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.
âthree am thoughts?â
âthree am admissions,â he grins slightly, âI am made for you, and youâre made for me.â
you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, âand what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?â
he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, âgrounding me.â
I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?
your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.
the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.
âbut wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,â you hear nobara remark.
megumi responds with a small chuckle, âI am fine with mine.â
âwhat about you, y/n-sensei?ââ
the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, âso shitty.â
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need a rafe fic please where reader is part of the pogues, her and rafe have been on and off for forever obviously due to everything heâs done but deep down heâs so down bad for reader and maybe sheâs pregnant instead of sarah and he doesnât find out until morocco because the pogues are hovering over her idk angst fluff whatever you feel!!!
Two lines â Rafe Cameron
Summary : Fem!Reader is pregnant with Rafeâs baby, but he doesn't know until pope accidentally mentions her baby (season 4 ep 10 spoilers!! â ď¸)
Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader
Warnings : mentions of vomiting & language (english is not my first language)
A/N : as requested đ hope u like it anon!
Two lines, and the father was long gone, off doing god knows what. Rafe was the last guy I'd hooked up with, and even after we broke up, we somehow kept finding our way back to each other, especially after the Kildare Enduro. He knew no one else could satisfy me the way he did, and so it became this endless cycle, break up, hook up, make up. What Rafe didnât know was that I was pregnant. I hadnât planned on telling him, at least not until we made up.
There I was, back on Rafeâs boat with my friends, setting off to Morocco in search of the Blue Crown and Chandler Groff. My friends had locked Rafe up, tying him up in a small room, just in case. We all knew better than to trust Rafe Cameron, not after everything heâd done.
I walked into the dimly lit room, carrying a tray with a glass of water, a plate of food, and a couple of aspirin for his black eye. The sight of him, bruised, tugged at something deep inside me.
âHere,â I murmured, setting the tray down on the table beside him. âI brought some aspirin, just in case youâre feeling dizzy or somethingâŚâ
He snorted, cutting me off. âWhat? Youâre just gonna throw it in my mouth like Iâm a fuckin' seal?â He wasnât exactly wrong, but his sharp tone made me bristle. âNobody trusts you, Rafe,â I replied, my voice steady. âNot after what you did.â
His jaw tightened, and a flash of anger sparked in his eyes. âI saved your asses!â he shot back, his face flushing with frustration. âAnd not even a thank you was said.â
I took a slow breath, steadying myself. âI know, Rafe. I know,â I said softly. âThank you, really.â I offered him a small, sincere smile.
He looked at me for a moment, his gaze softening just slightly. âYou trust me, right?â he asked, his voice quieter, a bit more vulnerable. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pull he always seemed to have on me.
âYeah,â I admitted, almost reluctantly. God, he knew exactly how to get to me.
He looked at the ropes binding his wrists and nodded toward them. âThen untie me. Get this shit off me.â
I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt but holding my ground. âI canât. Iâm sorry.â I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my resolve. âJust⌠eat the food. We wouldnât want you dying in here.â With that, I turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind me, leaving me with a sigh that I didnât even realize Iâd been holding back.
As I stepped out of the room, I was met by Kiaraâs anxious expression, her arms folded tightly as she waited. The moment she saw me, her face softened slightly, though worry still flickered in her eyes.
"Howâd it go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid to hear the answer.
I shrugged, trying to mask the mixture of emotions stirring inside me. "Same old Rafe," I replied, keeping my tone light, but my gaze drifted, unable to meet hers directly.
Kiara studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Soo... did you tell him?"
I frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Tell him what?"
She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "That youâre pregnant, with his child."
Oh, right. That one.
I swallowed, feeling a sudden knot in my stomach. "Uhâno, not yet," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I just⌠I donât know how heâd react." My hands found each other, my fingers nervously fidgeting as I tried to imagine how that conversation would even go. "What if he doesnât want to keep the baby?"
Kiara sighed softly and reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her warmth grounded me, pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. "Look," she said firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. "You have us. Weâll help you through every single part of this. Thatâs what friends are for, right?"
I looked at her, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Her words held a strength that I so desperately needed. "Yeah," I whispered, a small smile breaking through my worry. "Thank you, Kie."
She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and for a moment, the uncertainty and fear faded. In her embrace, I felt a flicker of hopeâa reminder that I wouldnât have to face this alone.
After battling fierce winds and waves, we finally arrived in Essaouira. The coastal city spread before us, its whitewashed buildings with blue shutters gleaming under softened storm light. Narrow streets twisted through the medina, lined with shops selling handmade crafts and drenched in a timeless, rustic charm.
The Atlantic crashed against the ancient medina walls, sturdy and weathered, while blue fishing boats bobbed in the harborâjust like the skiffs in the Outer Banks. The salty air and easy warmth of the locals, the slow rhythm of the sea, and the hum of daily life brought back memories of home, as if Essaouira was a Moroccan echo of the Outer Banks.
We continued to wander through the narrow streets of Essaouira, the sound of bustling market vendors and the distant call of seagulls filling the air. John B and Sarah led the way, their steps light and carefree, like they had no care in the world. Following behind them was Cleo, Pope, and Kiara, their conversations flowing easily as they walked, with JJ and I bringing up the rear. But it was Rafe who trailed behind, his presence almost ghostlike, like a lost puppy, following silently in our wake.
As we strolled through the maze of alleyways, I felt a sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. It was sudden, and intense, as if something in my stomach was threatening to rise up. I let out a soft huff, pressing my hand to my stomach, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling of sickness.
JJ, who had been walking beside me, must've noticed the change in my posture because he looked at me with concern. "Y/N?" he called, his voice laced with worry.
"Oh god," I muttered under my breath, the nausea worsening, my head spinning.
"What's wrong? You okay?" JJ asked, his voice low, concern evident on his face.
I shook my head, barely able to focus on him. "No... I need to sit," I said, my voice strained. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didnât stop moving.
JJ quickly guided me to a pile of carpets that were stacked outside a shop. The soft fabric felt like a relief under me as I sat down, trying to steady my breathing. The rest of the group quickly noticed, and soon I was surrounded by their concerned faces. Kiara dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes searching mine, her hand resting on my knee in a comforting gesture.
"What's up? What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern.
"I'm really nauseous," I managed to answer, my hand covering my mouth, just in case. I didnât trust myself to hold it down any longer.
Cleo, who had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. "She probably needs food. Itâs been like two days..or what?" she said, her voice tinged with practicality.
"Yeah, the babyâs probably hungry too," Pope added, offering a casual shrug, as if it was just an obvious conclusion.
I froze, my stomach twisting. The mention of "the baby" caught me off guard, and suddenly, all eyes turned to me. Rafe, who had been hanging back, still distant, looked like he was suddenly paying attention. His gaze shifted from me to Pope and then back to me, his brow furrowing.
"What baby?" Rafe asked, his voice sharp, as if something about the situation didn't sit right with him.
Oh god, here we go.
Pope went silent, and I could feel the tension rise in the air, thickening around us. I glanced up at Rafe, who was now standing a few feet away, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. His eyes narrowed as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.
"No, seriously, what baby?" he repeated, his voice insistent, even stern now.
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. There was no easy way to say it, but it had to be said. "Iâm pregnant, Rafe," I said quietly, locking eyes with him. "With your baby."
The words hung in the air between us, like they were too heavy to carry. For a long moment, Rafe didnât say anything. He just stood there, silent, his expression unreadable. The others were watching him closely, waiting for a reaction, but he remained eerily still.
I could feel the tension growing, an awkwardness settling in the space around us, as if everything had just shifted. My hands were shaking slightly, not from the nausea anymore, but from the weight of what had just been revealed. And Rafe, he was just staring at me, his mouth slightly parted but no words coming out.
"Go get her something to eat," Rafe suddenly snapped, his voice cutting through the tension that still hung thick in the air.
Without another word, he dug through his small waist bag, the leather creaking under his movements. I wasnât sure what he was looking for, but then, with a small grunt of satisfaction, he pulled out a wad of cashâseveral bills, all stacked neatly together. As he unfolded them, I saw that he had about $400 in his hand, a small fortune for street vendors in Essaouira.
"Wait what?" JJâs voice broke the moment of disbelief. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "They donât take dollars, you idiotâ"
"I said go," Rafe interrupted sharply, his tone hardening. There was no room for argument, no sign of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was trying to regain some control over the situation, and in doing so, he completely dismissed JJâs protests. His words were a command, not a suggestion.
The rest of us exchanged uneasy glances, the shift in Rafeâs demeanor catching everyone off guard. But without further discussion, John B, Sarah, Cleo, Pope, and Kiara reluctantly turned to start walking back toward the market, their steps unsure but obedient. JJ hesitated for a moment, clearly frustrated by Rafeâs abruptness, but eventually followed along as well.
Rafeâs eyes lingered on me for a second, his expression unreadable. He stood still for a moment longer, his gaze momentarily drifting over to the group before returning to me. He didnât say anything else. His words had been clear, and I could tell that something about the situation had shifted for him.
"I donât care whether you want the baby or not, but Iâm keeping them," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The truth was, I had made up my mind. I had to keep the baby, and nothing anyone said or did would change that. Not even Rafe.
Rafeâs eyes widened at my declaration, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at me, his face unreadable. Then, he kneeled down, and he let out a sharp breath. "Hey, hey, heyâwho said I donât want to keep the baby?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying tension to it, as if my words had hit a nerve.
I blinked, caught off guard by his response. The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and I wasnât sure what to say next. His eyes were fixed on me now, intense, searching. It felt like something was shifting between us, and I couldnât quite wrap my head around it.
"Weâll take care of them," Rafe continued, his tone softening just a fraction. "Iâll be with you throughout the whole journey, Y/N. Youâre not doing this alone." His voice held a kind of resolve, as if he had already decided, as if he was offering something that felt almost too good to be true.
For a split second, it felt like the world around me had stopped moving. The noise from the market faded into the background, and all I could hear was the steady beat of my own heart. The words he said felt surreal, like they were echoing in my head. "Iâll be with you, 'aight?"
I blinked again, almost feeling like I was in a dream, like I had slipped into some alternate reality where everything suddenly made sense. But when I looked at Rafe, his gaze never wavering from mine, I felt a wave of disbelief wash over me. It felt like a nap dream, a momentary illusion that would disappear when I woke up.
"What?" I said, my voice coming out in a whisper of disbelief. "Sorryâ"
Rafe seemed unbothered by my shock. He placed his hands on my knees, his movements deliberate. "You heard me, Y/N." His words were firm, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in them.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the weight of what he had just said settle in my chest. It was almost too much to process. I had always expected Rafe to pull away, to make this harder for me. But here he was, standing before me with something I hadnât expected, a promise. A promise to be there. A promise to face this together.
My mind spun, trying to make sense of it. I glanced away for a moment, as if hoping the world would shift and reveal the truth. But when I looked back at him, his expression hadnât changed. He was still looking at me with those steady, unwavering eyes.
"Youâre serious," I murmured more to myself than to him.
Rafe didnât flinch. "Yeah," he said simply, as if there was nothing more to discuss, as if the decision had already been made. "Iâll be there for you. For us."
For the first time, I didnât know what to say. My heart was still racing, but for a different reason now. There was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to hold on to this moment, to trust that things might actually be okay. But there was also a part of me that was terrified of what this all meant, of how my life was about to change in ways I couldnât predict.
I stared at him in utter disbelief, barely able to process the reality unfolding before me. It felt like some kind of miracle. My vision began to blur as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the emotions welling up and spilling over, probably caused by the pregnancy hormones, but I couldnât stop them. I tried to blink them away, but they only gathered faster, until a warm tear rolled down my cheek.
Rafeâs expression softened when he noticed, his gaze never leaving mine. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close in a way that felt so natural, so steady. He didnât hesitate for a second, and his embrace was warm, reassuring, holding me together when I felt like I was on the edge of falling apart, and God, it felt good to be back in his arms.
His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back as he murmured, âWeâre gonna be parents.â His voice was soft, filled with awe and disbelief, as if he was speaking the words for the first time and couldnât quite believe them either.
I nodded against his chest, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. The weight of his words settled over us, the reality of what lay ahead, and as much as I wanted to be brave, I couldnât shake the fear that started to consume my mind. I let out a shaky breath, my voice coming out in a whisper, âIâm scared, Rafe.â The words felt small, vulnerable, but they were the truth.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs brushed away the stray tears still slipping down my cheeks. âI know,â he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. âI am scared too.â There was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own, a glimmer of uncertainty about the unknown future that lay ahead.
âBut weâre in this together,â he continued, his voice growing stronger, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was reassuring me. âI donât have all the answers, and I donât know whatâs coming⌠but Iâm not going anywhere.â He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, closing the space between us. âIâll be there every step of the way.â
His words washed over me, filling some hollow place I hadnât realized was empty. In that moment, his presence felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my fears, giving me a glimpse of something that felt almost like hope. The future was terrifying, yes, but it felt a little less daunting with him by my side.
I looked up at him, my voice steadying as I replied, âIâm glad itâs you.â And as I said the words, I realized just how much I meant them.
He offered me a small, crooked smile, a warmth in his eyes that I hadnât seen before. âWeâre gonna figure this out together,â he promised. âOne step at a time.â
I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. And in that moment, held in his arms, I felt a little less afraid.
Suddenly, as if on cue, the rest of the group appeared, each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. It was almost comical, watching them return all at once, each of them holding something different, John B with a handful of pita bread, Cleo balancing a bowl of yogurt, JJ carrying bottled water, and Sarah clutching a small bag of fruit, including a shiny red apple that she immediately extended toward me.
âHere,â Sarah said softly, her face easing with relief as she offered the apple. I took it gratefully, feeling the cool skin of the fruit in my hand, and took a tentative bite. The crisp, sweet flavor flooded my senses, soothing the nausea that had been twisting in my stomach. They watched with eager anticipation, and as they saw me begin to nibble, their worried expressions started to relax.
âFeeling better now?â Pope asked, his voice gentle but laced with concern as he studied my face.
I swallowed another bite and nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. âYeah, yeah⌠thank you,â I replied, glancing at each of them.
They exchanged glances, visibly relieved, and a sense of warmth spread through me as I looked around at their familiar faces, each one showing their own brand of care. I realized then just how much Iâd come to rely on them, not just as friends, but as family. I felt a comforting wave of gratitude for each of them, knowing theyâd been there for me without question, supporting me in ways I hadnât even thought possible.
As I took another sip of water, Rafe moved a little closer to me, his hand resting gently on my thigh. His touch was subtle, but the gesture was enough to let me know he was still there, holding his promise to stay by my side. There was something calming in his presence now, something steadying that I hadnât noticed before.
The others began chatting among themselves, sharing their own stories of haggling with the vendors, laughing about whoâd paid the most for what theyâd brought. They were giving Rafe and me a moment, I realized, a chance to talk without the poguesâ attention fixed on us.
Rafe leaned down slightly, his face level with mine, his voice low and steady. âYou really okay?â he asked, his hand still warm on my thigh.
I took a deep breath, the initial dizziness and nausea fading, leaving behind a feeling of clarity I hadnât expected. âYeah, I think so." I paused, looking up into his eyes.
He smiled, a soft, almost vulnerable expression, and for a moment, he seemed like a different Rafeâone who wasnât weighed down by pride or bravado. âThat's goodâ His voice was filled with a sincerity that softened something inside me. "Don't want our little one and her mommy to starve, do we?" He smiled making me let out a low chuckle.
In this quiet moment, I knew, deep down, that I wouldnât want anyone else to be the father of my child. Everything just felt right. Despite all the chaos, the ups and downs, there was a steady comfort in knowing me and Rafe would face it together.
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angelic alteration
om brothers x reader
wc : 1.k
warnings: nsfw, corruption kink based
synopsis : when Solomon and Diavolo can't fix the problem, it's up to Mc
a/n : thought the angel event (og) could use some more spice so I poured my entire spice rack on it
âMcâŚIâm afraid we have bad news.â
You sighed into the receiver, âYeah? You guys canât reverse the magic, can you?â
âNope!â Solomon chirped cheerfully, âDiavolo and Michaelâs magic mixed together too strongly for us to reverse ourselves. Youâll just have to wait for them to go back to normal, orâŚâ
âOrâŚwhat?â
âWell, this is just a theory, but what if you just corrupted the angelic magic and forced their demonic sides back out?â
âCorrupted, huh..? I like the sound of that.â
â
âI can feel the magic trying to stop meâŚhow. stupidly. annoying.â Lucifer accentuated each word of his complaint with a sharp thrust, face pinched in concentration as sweat beaded at his temple.Â
Heâd be damned if something as trivial as a hexed bracelet from the celestial realm kept him from indulging in you, the one temptation he would never dare ignore.Â
Your nails dug crescent moons into his shoulders, thighs squeezing at his hips tightly as you moaned and panted beneath him. âLu-ci-fer! S-slow d-own!âÂ
He growled and sped up in response, snapping his hips into you harshly, âHow dare they try to turn me back? I am the Avatar. Of. Pride!â Once again, each word was accentuated with a thrust, making his cock hit deeper and deeper each time.Â
And he was so fucking proud each time he had you a moaning mess underneath him, crying out his name, begging him not to stopâ you made his sin flood his entire body every time.Â
An electric charge cracked through the air for a brief second before the bangle broke in half, magic forcibly shattering under Luciferâs sheer prowess.Â
He grinned sharply, capturing your legs against your chest in a mating press as he went even harder. His wings shedded to black, spanning out proudly behind him as the halo melted down into his horns.Â
âIâm going to ruin you, do you hear me? Youâre not leaving this bed- not tonight, or in the morning, or maybe even until tomorrow afternoonâŚIâm keeping you until Iâve had my fill.â
â
The sight of Mammonâs blue eyes peering up while his mouth was busy pleasuring you had always been a pretty sightâ the shimmering halo was only a little bonus this time.Â
But you wanted his horns to hold onto. âJust like that, MamsâŚdoing so well, pretty boy.â Your hips rocked over his mouth, grinning down at him with gold flickering in your eyes.Â
He was all about giving now that the bangle had taken hold, which even before, Mammon always keened when you sat on his face and just used him.Â
The second born was moaning and whining and whimpering against your skin as his tongue lapped up everything he could, âMmph- like this? âM I doing good, Mc?âÂ
âY-yeah, baby, fuckâ so goodâŚâ you carded your fingers through Mammonâs hair, feeling him get more and more excited before you lifted up off his face.Â
And he was absolutely distraught with the lack of your taste, desperate cry leaving him as he tried to chase after you. âNo, no, no! Mc, please, come backâ wasnât done, wanna taste you still, wanna make you feel good, please!âÂ
The laugh you let out made him whine even louder, fingers gripping frantically at your thighs. It was like a switch flipped, magic being overtaken by his greed.Â
His eyes flickered gold like yours, a whiny growl escaping him. He forced you on your back within a second, mouth working at you even more desperately now as he held you down and took what he wantedâ and he wanted to make you cum.Â
âJusâ let me, please let me make you cumâ you taste so good, Mc, I donât wanna stop. Want you to scream my name and yank my hair, grip my horns, just give me more- more, more, more!âÂ
â
A small shriek left Levi when you rammed against his prostate, hiccuped cries of your name following. His back arched, wings flaring out behind him, making you hit even deeper spots inside of him.Â
With his new attitude, heâd been letting everyone else spend time with you and he was finally feeling the built up envy creep along his spine, right beside the spikes of pleasure.Â
âAwwâŚlook at you. So sweet for me, huh? Why so shy, Levi? Wasnât this what you meant about strengthening connections?âÂ
Garbled sounds left him, courtesy of your fingers stuffed in his mouth. His eyes rolled back, hands gripping at your hips desperately, though it wasnât clear if he was pushing you away or pulling you closer.
âHow am I gonna know Iâm doing good if you donât tell me, âvi? Câmon, sweet thing, tell me. Or do you not want me?âÂ
It was like you asked the unthinkable. A loud whine left him and his tail returned, knocking the halo right off his head before it coiled around your abdomen.Â
âNo! I want you, I want you so badly, please keep fucking meâ donât stop, donât stop, donât stop!â Diamond shaped scales scattered across his body as the magic wore out.Â
You cooed, thrusting into him sharply, making his body lurch, âGood boy, Leviathan..âÂ
â
âFuck!â Satan cries out, fingers digging into his white wings to try and keep them from fluttering. His back arched almost painfully, loudly begging you to keep going.Â
âOh, look at youâŚâ the coos that left you made him flush red, giving you a great sense of satisfaction. This was the most heâd been riled up since putting that ridiculous bangle on.
Your thighs were burning at the unforgiving pace you were riding him at, beads of sweat splashing onto his skin, so you decided to change the game a little.Â
âCome on, Tannie, if you want it, work for it.â You settled your weight on top of him, ceasing your movements as you cockwarmed him instead.Â
A displeased growl comes from the back of his throat, eyes snapping open with a glowing green. âMc, move! Please!âÂ
Slowly, the halo above his head began to flicker and dim before it shattered, dissipating in the air. Another growl escaped him as his wings followed suit, tail lashing out like a whip.Â
âThatâs itâ câmon-!â You gasped when he yanked you forwards, chest pressing against his as his tail locked you in place. The only sounds that could leave you now were broken moans as he fucked you almost viciously.Â
âYou know how I feel about you fucking. teasing. me. Feels good doesnât it? Yeah? Cause Iâm not stopping. âM not stopping until I physically canât fuck you anymoreâ fuck, I needed you.âÂ
â
Unabashed moans echo off the walls of Asmoâs bathroom as the fifth born writhes under your touch. The sound of water sloshing makes his cheeks burn fiery red and the sound of you moaning back at him makes it even worse.Â
âW-wait! You d-donât have toâ oh!âÂ
âShh, AzzyâŚâm just taking care of you. You were so hard and achingâŚcould see it even though you tried to hide under the water.âÂ
The white feathers ruffled with pleasure (slowly shedded away and turning back), hips jerking frantically to chase the pleasure. The bangleâs magic was completely buried under how hot you made him feel and the feeling of you licking along the edges of his leathery wings increased it ten fold.Â
âYes, Mc, like thatâ donât stop, just like that, just like that!â Amso curled over on you, horns knocking against your shoulder as he cried out even louder.Â
You fisted his cock harder and swiped your thumb over the tip relentlessly, âYeah? Made you feel so good, you corrupted yourself, huh? Pretty little AzzyâŚcome on, cum.âÂ
The squeal he let out cracked halfway through, broken cries of your name following like a mantra. His hand encased yours, making sure you didnât stop jerking him off.Â
âK-keep going, donât stop! Wanna cum for you again ân again, gotta make up for when I was giving you away to the others, please, please, let me cum again for you!â
â
âH-haaahâŚah! M-McâŚwhatâre you..o-oh..doing?âÂ
âYou said it made you happier seeing others get to eat, soâŚâ you hummed, licking your lips before digging your tongue back into the slit of his cock, âIâm just..enjoying my mealâŚâÂ
Beel had always lost his cool when you went down on him, finding your mouth to be too good at pleasuring him. The growl he let out was something only a demon could make.Â
The glowing of the bangle did nothing to deter youâ in fact, you only laughed and peered up at him with the red sin of gluttony swirling through your irises. With another hum, you enveloped his cock in your mouth and forced your head as far down as you could, swallowing around him.Â
He tried so hard to not buck into your mouth or grip at your head as the magic worked to keep his ravenous nature at bay, butâŚthatâs just not who he was anymore.Â
âCâmon, BeelieâŚwant you to cum in my mouth, I wanna taste you..pretty please? Let me have itâŚâÂ
A low groan fell past his lips, hips finally jerking up and accidentally making you choke. A rushed apology was given as his fingers tangled in your hair and gently guided your head at a faster pace.Â
The beating of his insectual wings was rapid as he got closer, magic completely dissipating when he let out a sound akin to a small roar, grabbing at his own horns when he came.Â
Watching you pull away with visibly stuffed cheeks, slowly working on swallowing it all (though drops still ran down your chin) made a sharp pang shoot through him.Â
âThank youâŚyou always make me feel so good, McâŚbut..now âm hungry. Let me return the favor..wanna taste you too.âÂ
â
âA-are you sureâŚthis is o-okay?â Belphie chokes out quietly, hands pressing down on your hips to keep you pinned to the bed with your knees bent to your sides.Â
Your fingers curl in the sheets, body lurching forward at each thrust, âyeah, âs okayâ feels good, doesnât it? Youâre doing so good, BelâŚâÂ
The clipped whines and gasps that Belphie was making made his cheeks flair with an embarrassed flush; but you were right. It felt so. fucking. good. And he didnât think he ever wanted to stop.Â
Through the pleasure, it was easy to ignore the glowing bangle on his wrist and the voice in the back of his head telling him that he should have more reservations- that he shouldnât be doing thisâ that voice wasnât even his. Belphie wanted this, he did!Â
As your hands stretched back to claw at his lower stomach, you moaned out his name and wiggled your hips, begging him to go faster.Â
âPlease, BelâŚknow you can go f-faster than this, want you to fuck meâ please, please, please! Donât wanâ you to be an angel, want you to be my demon again-!âÂ
Magic cracked in the air, sending the hair on the back of your neck rising before a familiar tail curled around your stomach and yanked your lower half higher up, forcing your chest further into the mattress.Â
The attic bed creaked with the force he slammed into you at, whines mixing with growls now; his horns pressed against your skin as he rested his forehead against your back, making it arch even more.Â
âYeah? You want me to fuck you senseless again? Couldnât even go a couple days without having me play with you, fuck, youâre such a slut for me.â
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