#and just when i thought this show couldnt get any wilder

[gunsatthaphan]

🧖🏻💓🌊

[shhh-no-ones-home]

future friends 1/2

james 'logan' howlett

+++++++++

part two

shes not edited so sorry in advance lol

im mad i cant write whump for this man so have some angst instead. because if we cant help heal outside wounds maybe we can help heal inside wounds

song: i lie to me by as it is

+++++++++

i sat across from rogue as we ate our lunch, quietly munching to myself. neither of us had spoken yet but she knew i always needed a minute when getting together with someone. it was the nature of my powers. i could see everyone's past just from being near them and though hers wasnt as hard to watch as some others she understood it was exhausting. she made that mistake once, touching me to experience it for just a moment. she ended up crying hysterically and i felt so bad because i couldnt even hug her to console her.

"Hey have you gotten a chance to talk to Logan yet?"

I raised a brow as I looked over at her, her pulling me out of my thoughts.

"You know the professor told me not to."

She nodded a few times, popping a grape into her mouth.

"And why are we still listening?"

She questioned and I laughed, wiping my mouth on my napkin.

"He said that I need to keep my distance until he finds his place here. You know we aren't supposed to use our powers on each other."

She looked at me with a stupid look on her face.

"Is it really using your power on him if you can't help it?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I've already read him. Every time he gets close actually. Every class I have with him. His life flashes before my eyes and I have to pretend I don't know everything about him."

She frowned and ate another grape.

"Logan deserves to know about his past. And you're the only one that can give that to him now that jean and the professor are dead."

I sighed and looked down at my half eaten sandwich. all i would have to do is touch him, then i could show him too.

"I guess I'll talk to storm about it. See if she has anything to say. She's the dean now after all."

she sent me another disapproving look before bobby came in and sat with us. i frowned, reading him quickly, before going back to my sandwich.

°°°°°°°°°

I knocked slowly on her office door, the wood creaking slowly. I could hear storm talking quietly to someone and suddenly my mind was flooded with his life again. His childhood, scraping his knee falling off his bike and it healing slowly. He freaked out but got up and kept riding. He never told his parents. Then his wife came into view, their wedding, her death. Then came him volunteering for strikers project. I could feel the ache in my chest as I felt all his pain. The cold rushing through my veins as he streaked butt naked through the Canadian wilderness trying to escape.

"Come in."

Shook me of my thoughts and I pushed the door open, seeing ororo and Logan talking. He was sat against her desk, legs crossed and cigar in his mouth. I panned the room to her standing in front of the TV, remote in hand. I could hear the electricity like she had just turned it off.

"Y/n, what a pleasant surprise."

I swallowed hard and looked from her to him. He had his brows drawn and I could tell he was trying to place me. Even in the two classes I had with him I was easy to ignore. I kept quiet. Answered questions when prompted. But ultimately stayed out of sight.

"storm I was wondering if I could ask you something but it's a private matter so I might come back."

I tried to suppress her time line, blinking away the hot African sun of her childhood.

"No need. I was just going."

Logan said sternly, pushing himself off the desk.

"We'll talk about this later."

She directed at him and he gave a tight lip smile, closing the door behind him. She looked back at me, placing the TV remote on the end table to her left.

"I have a feeling I know what this is about."

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to disobey professor Xavier -"

She held her hand up.

"You can't tell him."

I watched her, defeated as she paced to the desk.

"He deserves to know. Something. Anything. That he was married, he volunteered for experiment x, anything from his childhood."

She shook her head as she sat down.

"You know why that's a bad idea. We've already been over this after the fight at alkali lake."

I sighed and slumped down into the chair across from her.

"His time line is so intense storm. I can ignore most people's but they aren't as long or traumatizing as his. He's two, three, times as old as everyone here. Except myself."

A sad expression fell over her face as she folded her hands on the desk.

"He knows what happened with striker. We need to leave it at that. Until he finds something else out naturally."

I clenched my jaw and stood up.

"I can't keep hiding the truth from him ororo. And eventually he'll realize that I don't age either which will raise questions about my mutation. Then what am I supposed to say?"

She inhaled deeply.

"Y/n you are older than even the professor. You are the one that denied the position to teach-"

"Because I look like any other student!"

I interjected and she looked at me sternly.

"But if you are going to act like a child then you are going to be treated like one."

I scoffed and headed for the door.

"If the position reopens let me know. Teachers seem to be dropping like flies around here."

I pushed the door open harshly, it slamming behind me as I walked out of the office. There was a part of me that understands but I can't believe she is against me on this. He has found his place here. And I can't keep up with this. It's so much harder to keep people's time lines out of my head when they don't know I know.

Like rogue. I told her shortly after I met her. Even though it was after she took the "cure" from the Worthington corporation. She introduced herself in the same span it took me to see her time line. Bobby was there to help explain my powers to her but I haven't had to watch her find her powers since then. Same with him. And everyone else I've talked to on this campus. just small pieces of their childhood or finding their significant other.

but logan wasn't like everyone else. he was complicated. and so was i. but now, also, i was mad. i walked quickly down the hall, passed the dining room and kitchen to the elevator. if i couldnt get his frustrations out of my brain by telling him then i might as well work them out. i hit the down button and tapped my foot as i waited. when the door opened i strode down the hall to the danger-room.

i walked in slowly, the lights turning on and the control panel popping open. i quickly selected a series of test and waited for the room to start changing. i watched as sky scrapers appeared in the distance, small shops coming into view as well. then cars and people. then i saw a plane ahead, watching in shock as it crashed down in front of me. then all these creatures started climbing off of it, pieces of the plan in their unsightly jaws as it burned under them.

i moved quickly, running forward and dodging the creatures as they came at me hissing through bloody teeth. i pulled on the torn metal, making and opening and helping some civilians out of the plane as it burned. i looked up, seeing one of the creatures charging back at me. i grabbed a piece off the top of the plane and swung myself towards it kicking it square in the face and knocking back down to the ground.

i checked to make sure that the people on the ground were helping the others out of the burning plane before turning to fight another creature as it came at me. i struck it, pushing it away from me before lunging at another one. when the rest finally realized i was there they came in waves, attacking me. i fought back as hard as i could and for once thats all i had to focus on. then one of them knocked me down. as i tried to get up another lunged on top of me, pinning me down to the roof of the plane. i grunted and and tried to keep it away from me, its teeth gnashing and slobbery in my face.

then from out of nowhere i heard a yell and the sound of metal. i looked over to see logan shoving his long claws into the side of the creature. i watched him, his past flooding through my brain as he attacked the others as they came at us. i breathed deeply, stumbling to my feet and putting my back to his. we fought together until they were all gone, going to get the few stragglers out of the plane that hadnt made it out yet.

then he moved to help me down, taking my hand in his and pausing as i hit the ground. my eyes went wide as a tear slid down his cheek. shit. i had transferred his memories without even meaning to. all i had to do was touch him. usually i had my gloves on when we went in the danger-room but i didnt put my suit on first.

"i had a wife."

he said quietly, side eying me. i held my breath, holding onto his hand still as the simulation dissipated around us.

"i had a brother."

he laughed, really looking at me now. i took my hand out of his and held them both together in front of me.

"im sorry logan, this isnt how i wanted you to find out."

he drew his brows.

"have you known this whole time?"

i could feel tears stinging as i nodded.

"thats my curse to hold."

he shook his head, looking angry before walking off.

"logan wait!"

i called after him and he held his hand up.

"kid. just dont."

[dateamonster]

stone alone

the premise of deuce wanting to take a gap year to explore the world feels almost like a call back to the end of monster high 2. i think its a nice bit of characterization for him. and we got the name of his sisters!! (altho i had trouble making them out. yariley? steena?) is deuce the baby of the family???

deuce and manny roomies!! love that for them.

WAIT SIX SIBLINGS??

wilderness buddies <333

OUGH THEYRE HERE im sooo happy were getting to see more of deuces family. tbqh i dont think these girlies have the most inspired designs.. one of the series pitfalls i think is you can super tell when a character is designed to be more on the disposable side.. love that theyre beefy tho lol

finnegans all-terrain wheelchair is such a cool design choice

ohh he IS the baby! and the only boy! and i love hearing abt mannys family backstory as well

horsin around

ohh detective clawd and femme fatale coded draculaura i like it

they just couldnt resist dropping that paramount plus reference huh -_-

CLAWDS ART IS SO CUTE

living rent free in your belfry is an amazing line the puns and wordplay in this show are genuinely so fun

ok yea theyre selling me on g3 draculaura/clawd i always thought they were cute in g1 so its nice to see this new take on them

dudes in some serious looney toons style shenanigans with this raccoon

moonlit fieldtrip

its kinda wild to hear from clawdeen that humans and monsters cant co exist. like girl. ur dad. im not saying it doesnt make sense for her to believe that having grown up feeling so alienated in the human world but it makes me kinda sad. im sure thats the lesson of the day anyway but idk it struck me as kind of a subtly tragic moment revealing how resentful and distant clawdeen feels towards humanity, whether or not that was like intentional on the writers parts. anyway.

barkamedes is a little gender to me i fear

another monster hunter?? clawdeen why is ur town so full of these guys

god but im such a sucker for fish-out-of-water plots where monsters are super fascinated with the mundane human world

any episode with mr wolf in it for even a second is such a treat

buddy redemption hell yea!! i dont even know this guy but im happy for both him and barkamedes <3

that human filter is Terrifying.

a little boost

LAGOONAS MANGA!!!!!!!! CHARACTER OF ALL TIME

ohhhhhhh gill time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reading f/f graphic novels i see.. lagoona bi moment? 🤔

marceline mention??? definitely a lagoona bi moment

g3 gill seems like a sweetiepie i hope we get to see more of him

fresh waters run deep

damn asked and answered! i honestly didnt expect another gill ep right away

probably not the intended takeaway but i think its soo funny lagoona was constantly like omg a starcrossed lovers forbidden romance with a freshwater monster <3 until she started actually hanging out with him and then its like oh yeah our cultural differences are actually rooted in a history of bloody conflict this sucks actually

pleeease do not continue to call her goonie lmaoo

gills cousin lochlan rules actually. that hook piercing! id genuinely get a doll of him.

lagoona rules and this is such a fun ep for her. love seeing her get all aggro and competitive.

ohh extremely good little speech from lagoona too. and honestly a more mature moment than i expected from this ep overall. mh invokes a lot of these "monster conflicts as metaphors for real world conflicts" plotlines but they usually do the typical kids show thing where both sides are at least partially in the wrong or else the whole thing is based on a misunderstanding. with that in mind, lagoona even being allowed to be mad about the injustice done against her people, understanding that gill isnt personally responsible but also that his inaction continues to perpetuate harm done against them, is pretty bold. i dont know if mh will stick the landing here but im rooting for them.

aw look at gill making the right choice!! love the decision to have him admit that like while he wasnt acting out of malice, he was being deliberately ignorant to what was going on because he didnt want to admit that his family couldve been complicit in the theft of something clearly sacred to the seamonster folk. once again a strong choice!

alright im on board for gill/lagoona. ya got me again monster high!

sew fierce

skelita!!! and her va is so good too!

skelita and frankies interactions this ep are adorable but otherwise this is kind of a nothin episode. not bad just not much to say on it. fun to see them do a fashion ep tho! kind of a throwback vibe

frankenmonsters not feeling heat is an interesting little quirk. i wonder if theyll keep that a part of the continuity or just forget about it lol

ohh im sorry frankie and skelita i do not like that fit......

catching up on monster high notes!

spell the beans

looooove clawdeens dad joining the parents association he is involved in his childrens education :3 he is making cookies and making friends :3

momdusa is so milfy i could die the gays stay winning once again

dracula is soooo silly hes winning me over i fear

!! momdusa never moved on from high school and falls over so much and loves her wife wow she is the perfect woman actually

its not my dream dad its YOURS

obsessed w everyone wanting to eat clawdeens dad

THANK YOU for explaining the camera/mirror thing with vampires i was wondering abt that

mr wolf and dracula friendship moment 🥺

EXPELBEAST!! i love when they do something fun and goofy with the mh lore

idk if those were lagoonas parents in the mpa but i wish we got more of them there looked so cute

growing up ghoulia

mothman!!!!!!!!!!!

some of these side characters have such interesting designs the purple dragon girl sitting in front of ghoulia was soo cute

MONSTER GSA LETS GOOO

i loove when mh does some classic monster movie stuff. ghoulia clone zombie attack rules.

not to be a broken record but i feel like ghoulias ep here would be more meaningful if she was still more noticeably zombie-like. like she says she moves slower than other monsters but i dont like. see that. let her lurch!

casketball jinx

im so happy to see howleen!!

kaiju girlie is such a queen we love to see it

tbqh i think howleen was right for this one

clawdeen both being on the team and being a cheerleader seems like soo much take a rest bestie 😭

do u think clawdeen had a wolf fursona before she found out she was a werewolf? i think so.

[youngbeanpole]

A message from BP’s mail-lady

hoo boy here we go. this is gonna be a long post.

hi! im lemon, and i started this blog on april 2nd 2012. and today, april 22nd 2021, im posting beanpole’s last message here. its been one hell of a ride.

how it all started i was 15, spending time on tumblr, when i suddenly started seeing people posting about this movie that was about to be released soon, called the lorax. now, im not american, so i had never really heard of dr seuss, but people were so enthusiastic! so i watched a shitty cam-rip of the movie and joined the fandom. 

and then the askblogs started, the first one i came across being swag, of course. i had run askblogs for other fandoms before, so i wanted to join in on the fun. but regular once-ler was already taken... and green suit once-lers, and audrey and ted too... so i had to come up with something original. 

the movie started with the once-ler leaving home and his family showing just how awful they were, and i started thinking, ‘man, his childhood mustve sucked..’ ‘haha what if i made a blog about once-ler when he was my age?’ 

an impulse decision that somehow gained me 100 followers in a week. somehow relatable tumblr teen once-ler was relatable to 2012 tumblr. who couldve known? 

i get kinda emotional looking back at it, honestly. people were so fun and creative. id stay up late to keep talking to people (bc timezones are hell). and i had a lot of fun just pretending to be a flawed boy, one who seemed nice but could be rather snarky, who would lie and break promises at the drop of a hat, but only because he didnt know any better, not out of malice. and i couldnt have done it without you all. i never wouldve known that he hates tomatoes, or likes celine dion, or wears the same thneed every dang day just because that happened to be his icon. 

was it silly to get obsessed with a childrens movie? maybe. but i had a great time.  (im also happy to see there are still people in the fandom that are carrying on the legacy... you guys rock)

truffula flu i think most people that remember bp remember him from truffula flu’s camp entre, over at youngbeansprout... a blog ive sadly lost the password to. im a big baby so i never thought id enjoy writing about something as scary as zombies, but i saw my friends doing it so i went in blind, without any idea on a backstory for the au or whatever.  ....which is probably why he wasnt always all that prominent in the story, haha. well, that, and timezones. 

it was probably an even wilder time than running this blog was, because there was actual plot. and people would liveblog it. and make fanart. and cosplay??? someone out there? cosplayed my oc to a convention? its one of those things that make you go. huh. i made something cool. probably never gonna reach that high ever again, but it sure is a fond memory. i still have a folder on my computer with all the fanart and it still brings a smile to my face.

also... i never did get to finish zombie au’s story, but i did plan how it would end. so if youve managed to read this far, congratulations! youve hit the hidden deep lore.

---

so the thing with truffula flu was that entre made the trees fucked up, right? and those spores would turn ppl into zombies. and of course you could become a zombie from being bitten, but it also traveled through the air...

everyone in camp entre (who wasnt immune or already infected) wore a gasmask, a bandana, something to cover their mouth. bp, who wandered into the apocalypse by accident, did not. he didnt even know. 

so little by little, the spores gathered in his lungs, until he realized. oh no. im getting sick. oh no. oh no oh no oh no. he messed around audrey’s equipment to confirm he was infected, and he got scared. he was a scared kid and he was going to die.

except. ted had handed him a cure for safe-keeping. a cure bp had sworn to protect with his life. but it could save him, right? in a moment of cowardice, he uses it on himself... only to find out there never was a cure.  (now heres the part where my memory gets fuzzy but) the ‘’’cure’’’ was given to ted, who was already slightly rotting, meant as a mercy kill. the people who gave him the cure assumed he would use it on himself.

except ted was a good kid, who wanted to use the cure to help others. and beanpole? his lies and broken promises came back to bite him in the ass, and he died sudden and alone. the end. :)

ANYWAY

the end of an era ive wanted to wrap this blog up for several years now but i never knew how. younger me wanted to give him a happy ending, which back then i thought was getting him a girlfriend. 

but as i got older, i realized... not everything can be fixed with a relationship. he’d have to learn to overcome his flaws by himself, learn his lesson about honesty and sincerity and the dangers of greed. and then, maybe he’ll have a happy ending.

so as he rides into the sunset on this day, imagine. maybe he’ll end up cutting down a forest and regretting it the rest of his life. maybe he’ll become a rock-star. an inventor. a teacher. a gentleman. a cannibal? okay, maybe not that one or maybe he’ll continue traveling forever, singing songs about boredom.

who knows? there’s infinite possibilites out there.

--

and with that, im logging off too. if you ever need me, ill be over on twitter as his deoncelerized self, bean. 

<3

[a-non-ymouswriter]

You just grabbed the entirety of the Hermitcraft server, the 20+ creators in it and shoved them into the stream labs world and i think thats funny. It does make me wonder though, how does the whole ‘Hermitcraft in a real life setting’ thing work then? Cause like, I can see how 3rd Life/Last Life can work as a sort of hunger games-style reality show where despite the action no one actually dies. That’d be awesome and I really want to watch that version of 3rd Life. But how would Hermitcraft work in a real life setting?

Do they just settle somewhere, build stuff, and make vlogs of their shenanigans? And then they just move onto a new location and start over (how much unclaimed land is there in the Stream Labs world?). That’d be funny. They’re just this group of people who build entire cities in a few years and then abandon said cities to build a new one. That could explain the world downloads lmao. People just go into the wilderness to try and find each season after they leave and it just becomes a tourist attraction. No one can find the current season, no matter how hard the try, until they leave for the next one. Really living up to their name there.

There’s also the possibility that it’s like the Hunger Games arena and they just build within the limits of it and when they’re done with a season they just reset that whole area of land and start over but that’s less fun. Man I’d love to see those vlogs of all the Hermitcraft shenanigans in real life.

I have stream labs brainrot if you couldnt tell. I haven’t managed to get any of my friends to read the fic and i can only keep all these thoughts to myself for so long lmao

hehehehe i'm glad for the stream labs brainrot

it'll take a while but i'll answer that question in the story itself! partially i'm still kinda trying to think of how myself, BUT let me tell you; not all hermits are in hermit craft, like how not all dsmp characters are in the stream labs world. im still trying to figure out, who's where and where's who. admittedly i am very biased and i've only recently got into hermitcraft and am slowly going through the characters (i've been only in boatem so far, but i'm slowly pulling myself into octagon and watching etho, doc and bdubs okay) so some characters will be more focused on okay?

besides, it's not a main focus of stream labs. yet.

[foulserpent]

ned has the most fleshed out history of any of my OCs. i typed it out over the past couple of days, theres some stufff missing but its over 2000 words as is.

here is neds life story prior to the oblviion crisis

ned was born in a village near falinesti’s summer rooting site. his father died before ned was born, and ned was raised by his mother and various farmhands in the community.

his mother was a farmer (though she had a shady past he was always peripherally aware of but never privy to), and they raised hogs and chickens for milk/meat/eggs and would be part of falenesti’s supply chain every year. niviiran also lived nearby, and the two were close friends throughout their childhood and adolescence.

“nasty ned” was in fact his birth name and a name he continued to use, though going by the latter part. he was never able to find out why his mother named him that. the name came in handy, given that ned is transgender and already had a fairly “masculine” name. he was recognized as a boy since he was around 10, but his mother was unable to afford the hormone replacement potions until his later teens.

when ned was 16, he started taking jobs at falenesti, mostly as a bouncer at its taverns. he had been a bit of a nervous child before that and to this day isnt sure why he chose that line of work, but it toughened him up considerably.

when he was about 20, his friend niviiran was being heavily pressured into marrying off to secure her family’s inherited silk business. niviiran saw this as the only chance to escape her emotionally abusive parents, and proposed the notion of entering into a (false) marriage with ned until she could get away. he agreed, both desiring to help his friend and hoping to benefit from niviiran’s far wealthier parents.

during this time, he had his first Actual intimate relationship, but it only lasted about a week. he had picked up a girlfriend at his job, but being emotionally immature and a bit of a dick, he thought that he did not need to inform her that he was TECHNICALLY married, since the marriage was fake and him and niv both did not mind. she left when he found out.

this marriage fell apart within a year, largely as a result of ned panicking and letting it slip while drunk at a gathering with niv’s family. this caused a huge commotion mostly directed at him (and was worsened by his continued panicking), and culminated in niviiran’s brother beating him and attempting to run him over with a horse as he fled. his leg was badly crushed and was saved by his mother.

though their marriage was fake, niviiran and ned had a real falling out as a result of this. both obviously felt bad for the harm to the other, but niv was very angry at ned for having let it slip and putting her in the position of having to run away from her controlling parents rather than leave freely. ned at the time was surprised and hurt that she was so mad, having taken her friendship for granted, and responded in kind. they separated angrily and did not see each other again after that point, and the way he treated niv is one of his first and biggest regrets.

after his leg was mostly healed, he decided he wanted to leave valenwood, at least for a while. he had developed some skill as a bodyguard, and managed to get himself hired to guard a merchant caravan that looped through valenwood, elsweyr, and cyrodiil. this was the time where he really came into his own in mercenary type fields, learning to use swords/shields/armor and how to hold his own against much larger foes. he also learned how to cook at this time, and had his first boyfriend. this relationship was not serious and did not last past ned’s contract with the caravan, but was significant and fondly remembered.

he chose not to continue as a caravan guard, and became interested in mercenary work instead. he joined up with cyrodiil’s fighters guild, and spent the next decade or so working for them. late in this period, he was subcontracted out to mainland morrowind on a longterm job as a hired guard. during this time, he met and began a relationship with yaksha gra-dralas, a morag tong agent. their relationship lasted about three years until ned’s contract ended. it was somewhat serious, but neither felt it was working out well enough to continue (and neds ass was too small). they went their separate ways, and ned returned to cyrodiil.

ned continued working for the fighters guild for an indeterminite amount of years, culminating in the events of oblivions fighters guild questline occurring. when ned was demoted for the death of the guildmaster’s son that he had nothing to do with, he decided that the guild was going to shit and that he was leaving. he resigned, and spent a few years hiring himself out independently as a mercenary or whatever else was paying.

eternally bad at settling, he became unsatisfied and decided to move again. he moved to vvardenfell, where he would live for the next 30 years or so. during this time, he joined their chapter of the fighters guild, took many odd jobs, and became more radicalized against the empire than he had already been (which was a lot).

notably, in the latter half of his time there, he met the disowned son of a hlaalu nobleman named ondryn. he and ondryn were assigned together on a longterm fighters guild job out in the wilderness, and began a relationship that would last a decade. it was ned’s longest relationship, and also the first one that he seriously considered the possibility of being permanent and settling with. he had loved all his partners before this, but ondryn was very special to him and brought out something much more serious in him.

it was this relationship that would also lead to ned’s involvement with daedric cults. ondryn was dissident against the tribunal and a follower of azura, boethiah, and mephala. this was just casual everyday worship, but the two joined an active sect of boethiah worshippers (at least partially trying to impress each other). ned had never been religiously motivated and believed that gods were not owed worship any more than anyone else, but was drawn to the “good daedra” for their seemingly mutually beneficial relationship with mortals.

ned was never the most devoted of boethiah’s sect, but through skill and luck he continuously proved himself worthy, and eventually was challenged to and won a tournament of 10 bloods. he was granted a title as champion of boethiah, and bestowed with the artifact goldbrand.

for a while, he proved himself worthy by continuing to maintain his position and defeat any challenger who came his way. but at one point, he was successfully kidnapped along with a fellow boethiah worshipper to be sacrificed to molag bal. he managed to free himself of his binds and escape, and came back with reinforcements to slaughter the rest of molag bal’s faithful, but it was too late for his friend.

this was the first decidedly traumatic incident of his life, and marked the beginning of a slow downturn of his life and his mental health. he was wracked with guilt at having left his friend to die, and was beginning to realize he wasnt really cut out for the whole champion of boethiah thing, rightfully fearing that he had lost favor for this weakness. in a stupid move (that would turn out smart in the long run in bargaining for his soul back), he kept goldbrand but fled with ondryn from the cult, ghosting boethiah and just hoping it wouldnt come back to bite him.

the blight was also worsening in vvardenfell at this point, with things beginning to get pretty scary. ned had repeatedly expressed desire for him and ondryn to flee vvardenfell, but the latter saw all this as just another crisis that would pass with time, and ned accepted this. around the time of the beginning of morrowind’s events, ondryn fell sick after an encounter with one of the ash creatures from red mountain. when it became obvious and undeniable that it was corprus, ondryn resigned himself to dying and asked of ned to help him be properly cremated and interred in his family tomb. all of ondryn’s living relatives had disowned him, but he still desired to be buried in his rightful place.

agreeing to this was the hardest thing ned had ever done. ondryn said goodbye and took poison, and ned was left alone to burn and lay his body to rest. he almost couldnt bring himself to do it, but eventually succeeded. after it was done, ned remained in the tomb for a few days, catatonic and just waiting to see if he would show symptoms himself. when it became clear that he had not contracted corprus, he considered suicide but became disgusted with himself and decided against it.

he remained in vvardenfell for a short while after this, but when his beloved guar (“jelly”) passed away of old age (mercifully peacefully), he decided enough was enough, and returned to cyrodiil. he had a couple of brief encounters with a person who he would later learn was the nerevarine, and left only weeks before the defeat of dagoth ur.

upon returning to cyrodiil, he was in a rut. he had become near-broke, had newly acquired mental health issues, had a constant fear of boethiah sending prospective champions after him, and had nothing to do with himself. he settled into the imperial city waterfront as a squatter, and attempted to join the thieves guild, but failed the initiation. desperate, he began thieving on his own, sometimes doing jobs for others and sometimes just to have money to get by.

he took a very large risk in agreeing to steal and imperial watch captain’s heirloom sword, and was captured in the act. he resisted arrest and injured the captain, and the captain personally intervened to get him a much steeper sentence than he otherwise would have. he was put into the imperial city prison for a few weeks, before being transferred to the arena and being put to work as a gladiator.

this was essentially a death sentence, with no determined ending besides dying in the arena. he met shap-mota here, a bard who had been blamed for a string of brutal assaults in spite of being pretty unquestionably Not the culprit. the two of them had an intimate relationship throughout this time, and struck up a friendship, but they were under a painful and unusual situation and it could not really be called a romantic relationship.

for a time, ned was managing well. he managed to get some serious dirt on one of the guard captains and effectively blackmail him. he wasnt able to secure his freedom, but was able to force his hand into giving him his sword (goldbrand) back and giving him and shap a bit more leeway as prisoners. having goldbrand is likely the only reason he survived and won all his death matches, but his uncooperativeness and humiliation of a few of the guards gave them a massive grudge.

after about 5 months, shap narrowly won a match, but had been gravely injured in the process and collapsed. ned last saw him being dragged out from the arena, and never saw anything that would indicate shap being alive, and had to assume he died. things got really bad after that, with ned having no buffer against the ire of the guards and other prisoners. he lost his blackmailing opportunity (though was allowed to keep goldbrand, due to the crowd loving his signature flaming sword) and was given absolutely terrible treatment from his captors.

he became incredibly disgusted with being forced to kill other prisoners and enraged at challengers who fought willingly. as he rose in the ranks, he was kept going by not knowing what else to do and by a grim satisfaction at murdering people who willingly chose to be combatants. this was very traumatizing.

ned achieved champion rank, though he almost lost his final match. his opponent disarmed him and instead of killing him, gloated and slashed at him with goldbrand, ripping his abdomen open and giving him his biggest scars. ned managed to take him by surprise and kill his opponent before passing out from shock and blood loss.

he woke up a day later to find he had been released. evidently, no one expected him to live that long and it was decided he might as well be let go. ned already had trauma to deal with, but was suddenly experiencing very unusual and new symptoms (which was ptsd and an anxiety disorder) that he had no idea what to do with. he was also convinced that his challenger was there on boethiah’s behalf, though he cant be sure of that, and the fear of being killed and left to the daedra who probably owned his soul took hold of him again.

he had been given some prize money, and he collected himself and left. he moved into kvatch, and rented an attic from some dunmer in exchange for proofreading his stupid “opus” about him killing all the cliff racers or whatever.

ned spent a few years in a haze, kind of just drifting through life, getting into shit here and there. there was an “incident” involving the towns blacksmith at the general store, and he was not arrested but was considered to owe a favor to the town’s watch captain due to the chaotic results that few dare to speak of.

this favor was finally cashed in when kvatch was burnt down by mehrune’s dagons invasion force and they needed someone to try and close the gate, and lo and behold here comes ned “owes a favor” nasty and some argonian from out of town who just kind of wandered in.

[babysizedfics]

janus trying to get child virgil to socialize and it ending in bullying

tw: angst, bullying (not violent) between children, ableism against an (undiagnosed) autistic child

janus always knew that it was healthy to get a child to socialize with other children especially since virgil was not enrolled in education in the mindscape, janus homeschooled him. so when virgil was 6 yrs old he started taking him to a playgroup at weekends (virgil was still mostly mute but occassionally said single words if he needed something like "hungry" or "sleep" or "change")

and janus stayed during the playtime for the first two or three weeks so that virgil got used to the nanny and the environment. janus informed her that virgil was still in diapers and she did look down on that a little and told janus he should get him potty trained ASAP but janus was trying his best.

but for all that time virgil refused to go and play with the other children and just clung to janus, so eventually janus was like okay Virgil, janus is going to go outside for a while then i'll be right back, dont worry this nice lady will look after you - and leaves virgil there for the hour, trying to encourage him to get used to being separated from janus

then when he comes to collect him virgil immediately runs back to him and clings so hard and janus is worried. he asks the nanny how was he did he throw any tantrums did he ask for me and she says he was fine, he did cry a bit at the beginning but then some older kids helped him feel beter - and janus is like oh!! thats amazing thank you!!

and as he carries virgil home virgil is completely silent but janus is like did you have fun? was it nice to play with the older kids? i bet you had lots of fun! and virgil would just cling to him and janus assumed he was shy from interacting with people

so that happened a couple more times, janus left virgil there and virgil wouldnt speak but he wouldnt cry and cling to janus or anything either, so he assumed it was just shyness - there was one time his white hair had clumps of various colours of paint in it and the nanny and janus chuckled over him having an artistic streak

until one day when he comes back a little earlier to pick virgil up just because they had to get to the store before it shut or something - so he shows up early and all the kids are running around playing with toys and stuff, and he spots virgil with a group of three older boys and he starts to smile - until he notices virgil sucking his thumb, which is mainly a sleepy or a nervous habit

so he frowns and steps into the nursery closer trying to swerve around giggling kids and toddlers running around, and he starts to hear the boys

"he wont do that hes only a baby" "no he's not, he's like 4!" "yeah but i seen he always wears a diaper!" *giggles* "i bet he wont do it!" "yeah he will, he will!" "go on tell him to do it!"

and little virgil is just curled into himself and sucking his thumb and looking at their feet because he doesnt like looking at peoples eyes.

and one of the boys says "hey, you gotta eat this!" and holds out a piece of modelling clay and janus' heart races in the few seconds it takes for virgil to start whimpering and step back and another boy quickly pull him closer and insist "the nany said you have to or you'll be in trouble! don't you wanna be good for your weird daddy?" and hear the other boys laughing as virgil sniffles and pulls his thumb out of his mouth ready to reach for the clay

janus RUSHES in and scoops virgil into his arms and coos "no virgil, no no shh you dont need to do that, darling" and virgil immediately starts to cry into his shoulder and clings tight, and literally all janus has to do is look at the little boys - with his pierced lip and his snake tattoo and his scarred face - and the boys run away.

and janus FURIOUSLY storms over to where the nanny was helping a little girl brush a dolls hair and demand to know why she didnt notice those boys trying to force his child to eat clay - and shes pretty flippant like ohh no those boys have always been well behaved, im sure they werent forcing virgil to do anything,

but janus insists and yells that his child was being manipulated by thise boys and she did nothing to stop it and she argues that maybe virgil was just a little confused and wanted to eat the clay - janus is incredulous "are you saying my child is stupid??" "no no not stupid. perhaps special?" she suggests quite condescendingly - and janus looks enraged but the nanny insists that he please leave in case he scare the children. he hisses "gladly." they never go back

janus never learns what the boys did to virgil/made him do in the previous sessions - virgil doesnt have the comminicative capacity to tell him - but he can obviously make an educated guess that the paint in virgils hair that one time probably wasnt his choice

and after that janus never tried to take virgil to that playgroup again. they tried some others over the years, maybe another couple, but they ended similarly, with virgil being picked on - mostly for his albinism or for not being able to speak or basically anything the other kids saw as different.

a few years later he took virgil to an older boys club - the club was maybe like a wilderness thing, where they learn to tie knots and use a compass and stuff - it was when he was about 11 years old and could finally speak in full sentences, so janus thought virgil being able to talk to the other kids would finally give him an opportunity to make some friends. though janus didnt yet realise that virgil was selectively mute, and still couldnt speak with strangers

so when janus picked him up from the first session, he found virgil shaking and tearful standing outside of the club with a big wet patch on his pants and a group of the other boys all sniggering and pointing and whispering a few feet away from him. virgil had gone mute at the club, which became an issue when he needed the bathroom but couldnt ask the club leader where it was or if he could go, and led to a very upsetting and humiliating accident in front of all the other boys.

at that point janus knew he wouldnt be bringing virgil back to that club either, and they basically gave up on getting virgil to socialize with kids his age since it kept ending in virgil being bullied for his differences

...

nowadays i think only janus and virgil (and eventually virgils therapist, dr picani) know about these incidents, janus would never tell anyone else abt them and virgil wouldnt want to relive them by telling his family. so janus is really the only one who realises that virgil being so affected by the cyberbullying he experienced in the past couple of years wasnt just about the cyberbullying, but it probably resurfaced old traumatic memories too

[crowryes]

dr hunger games au

as you may or may not know, i just finished tbosas a few days ago. though of an au where the thh survivors are victors of the games so uhh yea!

this is a big mess

-  Togami Byakuya-District 1

Togami was a big hit during his games, gaining popularity from the moment that he got chosen during the reaping. He acted so capitol like that people had a genuine hard telling if he was district or not. 

Byakuya refused to ally any of the other tributes from the stronger districts( 1, 2, and 4) and somehow made it through the games alone. This made him gain even more fans and sponsors He sat tight for the majority of the games, being showered in gifts by sponsors. However, when it came to it, he killed the last tribute that stood between him and victory. With an extremely intricate plan set up, he killed the last tributes with only a few strands of rope and some of those rations he’d been saving up. This proved him a true capitol man, refusing to get his hands too dirty.

- Asahina Aoi- District 4

Asahina gained popularity through voluntering for her little brother. Most of the capitol thought she’d die early in the games (getting only a 8 during her session with the judges), but her friendship with Oogami Sakura, a tribute from district 2, showed itself to be usefull. During training,the two bonded over their hate of the games. It seemed almost as Oogami actually cared for Asahina’s wellbeing (she did). Their alliance made them gain many sponsors. But at the end, with only 4 tributes left in the arena, Oogami sheilded Asahina from a fatal blow. Asahina was then gifted a trident, the most expensive gift ever given in the games and, full of rage, killed the remaining tributes with it.

- Hagakure Yasuhiro - DIstrict 8

Hagakure was extremely unlucky. He was picked at the age of 18, only a few weeks away from being away from the games for ever. He didnt come from a remarkable district, not much attention to himself. He did have a quite charming sense of humour, as seen during his interview. Other than that, he had nothing going for him. As soon as the games started, he rushed into the wilderness, hiding there for almost the entierety of them. Hagakure showed an aptitude for finding food in the wild. He foraged vegetation and the occasional fish for most of the games, hinding either in trees or in caves.

After most of the wilderness burned (apparently, some district 12 girl was burned on a stake  burned by a bunch of crazed tributes), killing some of the tributes. Hagakure just hid behind the cornucopia as the few remaining tributes fought it out, all bleeding to death.

- Fukawa Toko - district 10

It’s an understatement to say that Fukawa as disliked by the capitol. Such a raggedy, disgusting girl was not worth the capitol’s attention or money. Even during her interview, she barely spoke, mumbling nonsense the whole time

However, unkown to the public, Toko had decided to not stop her alter, Syo, from surfacing. 

Gaining a 12 after her time with the judges (mostly because Syo threw daggers with terrifing accuracy at them), the capitol couldnt help but wonder what this terrified district 10 girl could of done to earn such a high score.

Her hunger games where the shortest that there had ever been. During the first day, she ran straight to the cornucopia and stole as many daggers and knives as she could get her hands on, and slaughtered three of the tributes from the stronger districts.She would actively seek for people to kill through the arena, ending up with 5 murders on the second and third days.

Sponsors loved her, giving her food and water through her time at the games. Syo simply ignored the ressources. When toko would go back to normal, she always felt too guilty too eat anything and would simply curl up in a ball, crying herself to sleep

After seeing her craft makeship scissors with her daggers, she was gifter a pair of silver scissors, with blades like rassors,

She, in total, killed 11 people during the course of her games. Rumors say that upon arriving on the airship, she simply collapsed, almost dying from lack of nuttrition

- Naegi Makoto - District 12

Naegi’s victory truly was only caused by a string of fortunate events. The capitol warmed up to the small, charming boy. Ladies swooned when he made his way upstage for the interview. He seemed timid and sweet during his interview, however... he was exactly like that, much to the audiences surprise.

Naegi gathered a few allies that were much like him, unlucky tributes who came from much poorer districts. Those included and were limited to; A district 8 girl with a beautiful voice, a bashful girl from district 3 (who, later on, much to the audience’s shock, turned out to be a boy) and an angry redheaded boy from district 6.

He believed in his allies, even stopping one of them, the district 8 girl from killing him by calming her down with soothing words, telling her how she was able to get out of here alive. Sadly, the same night, that same girl killed her ally, the redhead, and he did the same.

With only one ally left and despair slowly infecting the duo, Naegi still held onto hope. He believed that he and his ally (who he now knew was named Fujisaki) could win the games. This shocked and slightly angered the audience, who knew there could only be one victor. But he kept talking about victory as if they could win together, as a team. 

Fujisaki devised a plan. She’d run wires around the cornucopia, connecting them to all of the surounding lakes in the arena. If they were lucky, lightning would hit it, the remaining tributes, who were camping it out by the lakes, would be shocked and would die a short and almost painless death.

Much to the audience’s confusion, that was something that the two held to heart. Not making anyone suffer for too long.

Fujisaki’s plan worked, but not without it’s consequences.

Standing too close to the wires, she was electrocuted by the current going through them. Her feet covered in soot, markings running up her legs, she somehow looked peaceful. Like her plan had, in fact, worked the way she wanted it.

Inspecting her closely Naegi was shocked (funny pun go zzzzzzzzzzzap). The girl- no boy- he knew so well was a guy. He shed many tears over his dead boy, closing his eyelids and putting him to rest in a field of tall grass.

Only 3 tributes were left. He was going to win this. For Fujisaki’s sake, and for his own.

He sat next to the cornnucopia, waiting for the others to show up. Two rogue tributes ran out of the wilds, both obviously wanting his death. One of them threw a spear, flying towards him.

A girl threw herself in front of him, piercing her. Tears running down her freckled cheeks, blood on her lips, whispering her last words in his ear. 

I want you to win. I’m unworthy

Naegi grabbed a mace from the weapon stash and bashed the other tributes head, blinded by the tears in his eyes.

---

watch as i progressively get out of writer’s block while writing these lmao

also can you tell i spent my daily bikeride exclusively thinking of naegi’s victory and how much he hates the fact that he had to take a human life

totaly didnt crash when i thought of making chihiro his ally no no nope

[kendrixtermina]

Further reactions to "The book of lost tales":

I appreciate that Idril canonically wears armor and does swordfighting.

I feel like I can actually imagine adult!Idril much better now like in armor and with open hair, distraught but ready to fight while babby Earendil does not yet realize the danger...

My first thought is that Earendil was probably cute in that baby chainmail. My second thought is OUCH, Idril and Tuor always made sure their growing baby had fitting chainmail cause they felt the apocalypse might get them at any moment. Imagine that, imagine them having the baby armor fitted every year or so :(

Its fun how much of the basic structure already exists but most of what you'd consider the main characters doesn't exist or is scattered across various minor roles The only Prince anywhere in sight is Turgon - Except for Team Doriath, theyre all accounted for. I suppose Maeglin is kinda there in name only with vaguely the same role & motivation, but looks personality and background all did a 180 since. Luthien is still pretty much "princesd classic" at this point, not quite the fearless go-getter from the final version - markedly this version tells Beren that she doesnt want to wander in the wilderness with him whereas the final one says she doesnt care and its Beren still wants to get the shiny so as not to ask this of her and also for his honor.

I mean in the finished version Id consider the 3rd and 4th gen royals to be the main characters (well, alobgside Team Doriath and the varioud human heroes) and theyre hardly here. Imagine the silm with no Finrod!

Feanor had no affiliation with the royal family whatsoever, and is also generally less super. He's just the guy who won the jewelsmithing competition, not the inventor of the whole discipline. Still seems to have been envisionad as a respected member of the community who gets called to the palace for crisis meetings and is listened to when he stsrts giving speeches. From the first he already has the backstory of going off the deep end (or at least growing disillusioned with Valinor) after a family member is killed by Melkor and theyre still the first to die, but its just some other rando unrelated to the royals

The situation regarding the humans is different - instead of Melkor leaking their existence, its Manwe who explains that the other continents were supposed to be for them eventually. So Feanor goes off on a tirade about weak puny mortals comes off as a more of a jerk unlike in the final version where Melkor barely knew about the humans and described them to the Noldor as a threat. On the other hand in this one, also very much unlike in the finished product, Melkor dupes even Manwe into being unfair to the elves as a whole. In this the final version is a definite improvement, both Feanor and the Valar come off as a lot more sympathetic and though still deceived he's partially right in some things at least, so you have more of a genuine tragedy rather than a simple feud

There is something to the idea of Commoner!Feanor tho. I guess some of this survived in his nomadic explorer lifestyle and how both his wife and mother (who arent mentioned here) eventually were the ones to get that background of being not especially pretty ladies who are not from the nobility but got renown, respect and acclaim for their unique talent and contribution to society, with each having invented things and Nerdanel also being renowed for her wisdom. Hes sort of an odysseus-like Figure in that sense. I suppose later developements necesitated that Maedhros & co. have an army not just a band of thieves, which means they needed to be nobles/lords. That said this being a society where artisans are very respected and half the lords have scholarly/artistic pursuits going, the gap was probably not as big to begin with as it might have been in say, medieval England. Esoecially since Nerdanel's father had been given special honor by one of the local deities and that the social order might have been a very recent thing in Miriel's time. One might speculate that the first generation of Lords started out as warriors during the great journey, or perhaps just Finwe's friend group.

Also found that bit intetesting where the Valar have to deal with the remaining political tensions and effects of Melkor's lies on the remaining population in Valinor... - i guess with the change of framing device it was less likely for news of something like this to reach Beleriand. That, or the existence of Finarfin and his repentance made this go smoother this over in later cannon

Turgon's go-down-with-the-ship moment reaaly got to me. Im half tempted to write a fic where his wife, siblings and dad glomp him on arrival in Mandos. I dont care that none of them exists yet in this continuity i want Turgon to get hugs

I love all the additional Detail that got compressed out in the shift from fairytale-ish to pseudohistoric style especially all the various Valinor magic insofofar as it is compatible with the final version - particularly love the idea of the connection between the lamps and the trees that is now integrated into my headcanon forever

Its actually explained what the doors of night are

If I had not already read unfinished tales or volumes X to XII where this is also apparent, this is where I would say: Ah so the Valar were supposed to be flawed characters. Manwe has an actual arc; by the time he sends Gandalf he finally "got" it. I think in the published silm the little arcs of Ulmo and Manwe are mostly just lost in compression/ less apparent when only some of the relevant scenes got in but not all

It occurred to me way too late that the "BG" chars are the most consistent because theyre at the start and most stories are written from beginning to end. Finwe doesnt get a dedicated paragraph of explicit description until HoME X but my takeaway was that he's described pretty much like I always imagined him anyways/ same vibe I always got from him... charismatic, thoughtful, enthusiastic, sanguine temperament, brave in a pinch but at times lets his judgement be clouded by personal sentiment (though that last bit is more apparent/salient as a character flaw once he became the father of a certain Problem Child) ...i guess this would be a result of jrrt having had a consistent idea of him in his head for a long time.

This means Finwe's still alive at the time of the exodus which is just fun to see/interesting to know... Interestingly he sort of gets what later would be Finarfin's part of ineffectually telling everxone to please chill and think it over first while Feanor simply shouts louder (which is consistent with his actions before the sword incident in later canon where he initially spoke out against the suspiciozs regarding the Valar) - but its not exactly the same, he's more active than Finarfin later in that when "chillax" availed nothing he said that then at least they should talk with the other Kings and Manwe to leave with their blessing and get help leaving (This seems like it would have been the clusterfuck preventing million dollar suggestion in the universe where Feanor is related to him and values him) but when even that falls on death ears he decides that he "would not be parted from his people" and went to run the preparations. I find it interesting that the motivation is sentiment/attachment (even phrased as "he would not be parted from [his people]" same words/ expression as is later used for the formenos situation), not explicitly obligation as it later is for Fingolfin (who had promised to follow Feanor and didnt want to leave his subjects at the mercy of Feanor's recklessness )

Speaking of problem children. It seems the sons of Feanor were the Kaworu Nagisa of the Silmarillion in that originally all they do is show up at some point and kill Dior as an episodic villain-of-the-week. And then, it seems their role got bigger in each continuity/rewrite... probably has something to do with the Silmarils ending up in the title later making it in the sense their story that ends and begins with them. They have zero characterization beyond "fierce and wild" at this point, though in what teetsy bits there is we already have the idea that Maedhros is the leader and Curufin is the smart one/shemer/sweet-talker, though not the bit where Maedhros (or Maglor, or anyone really) is "the nice one". Which I guess explains why "Maglor" sounds like such a stereotypical villain name.

"The Ruin of Doriath" was purportedly the patchworkiest bit of the finished product, but I never noticed and it actually left quite an impression of me upon first reading, the visual of Melian sitting there with Thingol's corpse in her arms contemplating everything thinking back to how they met... she had the knowledge to warn him not to doom himself but couldnt get him to understand it because he doesnt see the world as she does.... After reading this though I wish there was a 'dynamic' rendition that combined all the best bits like, youd have to adapt it to the later canon's rendition of the dwarves, have Nargothrond exist etc. But i mean that just makes Finrod another dead/doomed relative of Thingol's whom bling cannot truly replace, like Luthien and Turin. In the Silmarillion you could easily read it as just an "honoured guest treatment" but here and in unfinished tales I get the impression that Thingol actually did see Turin as a son.

Already you see the idea of trying to make the stories all interconnected but there is less than there will be (the human heroes aren't related yet and there is basically no Nargothrond, which is later a common thread for many of the stories - a prototype shows up in the 'Tale of Turambar' tho complete with half baked prototypes of Orodreth and Finduillas

O boi im not even through yet

[theyrealllegends]

Careful (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Chapter Summary: You’re not the only one who’s developing feelings but Roger is too, trying to have you close to him at first, but then he’s trying to forget you over way too much scotch. This is how both of you get sick and he takes care of you again. 

Author’s Note: It’s Roger’s POV in this chapter, yeeet! (Please don’t @ me I can’t tell you why and if you don’t like it I’ll never attempt it again, I promise)

Words: ~2k

Warnings: I’d rate this mature because (and this is a spoiler) someone’s masturbating aaand there’s drinking again and eventually someone has to throw up

Chapter 4

Previous Parts: Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3

I couldn’t fall asleep that night because Tiffany never left my head: her reddish-blonde curls, her incredibly green eyes, her lips for fucks sake - I needed that. I craved being close to her, to feel her, to hear her breath like I’d never wanted anything else. The boys had noticed that I was hitting my drums harder than I usually did while messing up their rhythms and I knew that they knew that something was off but they wouldn’t mention it if I got myself under control before our next gig tomorrow night. I just didn’t see how that was possible, when I was now here, lying awake and only the thought of Tiffany’s voice made my whole stomach feel light, in the best way possible. I had no idea how long I’d been staring in the dark but I was seriously contemplating to go out and either get drunk or find some girl to do whatever it took to distract myself. I just couldn’t let myself think about what I’d do to her if she hadn’t been this innocent little princess I saw, every time I looked at her. Even though only my refusal to think of that was enough to give me a hard one, already. I swallowed hard as I carefully touched myself and I stopped trying to shake the thought of her because I knew I couldn’t while I was masturbating - what would it feel like to bury myself in her body, feel her skinny, yet strong legs wrap around me and see her losing herself in my thrusts. God, I just wanted her to feel as good as she made me feel when I got into the kitchen to a prepared breakfast, when I didn’t feel like a dumbass because she’d make me study and when I managed to make her laugh. I gripped on my own hair at the thought of her laugh, trying to imagine it were her tiny hand and her skinny fingers pulling on the strands while I held back a moan. Tiffany Abberforth was the most precious human being on this planet and I’d have to protect her with my whole life, I knew that for a fact. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“You wanna join me tonight?”, I asked her, when I met her in the kitchen the next morning. Probably I was being selfish to try and get her out of the comfort of our flat, but I wanted her to be closer to me anytime. She was reading some book like the smart girl she was but she put it away as soon as I tried to talk to her. 

“Where are you going?”

“The boys and I have a gig and I thought - since you’re freed now - you might like…?”

“Are you trying to make me drunk two out of three nights in a row?”, she called me out in a joking tune and it made me smile to see her that relaxed. 

“Of course not, but I’d like you around me two out of three nights in a row.” Damn, she had no idea what she did to me when she blushed. She looked down at her hands, seemingly battling herself to a decision. “No pressure, Tiffy, if you’re there, you’re there and if not I’ll still play for you.”

“You know it’s not because I don’t want to hear you play, right, Rog?”

“Do I?”, I asked and leaned my head to the side a little too let her know I wasn’t completely serious. 

“I can’t see myself enjoying your show in a huge crowd at all, it scares me, especially since I wouldn’t know anyone watching you, too and I - “

“You can join us for our rehearsal on Friday, if you prefer that.”

“That’s perfect”, she immediately agreed and I felt great about it. It relieved the thought of being rejected, at least. 

“We can have dinner after, if you’d like.”

“We always have dinner, Rog.”

“No, I mean, you and me - and the boys if we can’t get rid of them - having dinner in a restaurant, if you’d like.” Now I was the one blushing, I feared, as she looked at me in surprise. 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that”, she said after a moment and I smiled at her. 

“Me too, Tiffy.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I knew I shouldn’t really - even though there wasn’t anything exclusive about Tiffany and me, there wasn’t a “we” if it came to anything else than talking about our shared flat situation, but I still felt guilty and like I wasn’t supposed to let all the girls approach me after our gig. 

“Hey there, sweet boy”, one of them purred, “How you doing, love?”, the other one said and “You did so amazing!”, I heard a third one while they really gave me a hard time to move forward, just trying to get to the bar behind Brian. Their hands were all over me and I was glad I didn’t wear something too showing or open, even, and it wasn’t that I didn’t like it, I just felt like it wasn’t fair. I wasn’t looking for anything they had to give me, instead I was trying to figure out which of them reminded me the most of Tiffany, really, and I knew that was just wrong. 

“Thanks, girls, but let me have a drink first, would you?”

Of course I ended up buying the three of them drinks and I hated to admit it, but it was kind of a given that I went outside “to smoke”, only to make out with one of them, finally letting go of the thought of Tiffany’s emerald green eyes. I didn’t enjoy the night at the girl’s place - as if the universe wanted to punish me, really, for drinking myself into a state where I didn’t only forget about the girl’s - or Tiffany’s - name but also about my own, to a state where I didn’t care about anything anymore, trying to find relieve in it. I couldn’t even remember the sex for the love of god, only assuming it was good, by how the girl was cuddled against me, how our clothes were all over the floor. But the mattress woke me up, squeaking and poking into my back, which didn’t make the pain in my head any better. I just stumbled to grab my clothes and left, unable to look back at the girl or respond when she called for me, only heading for the door. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the hole situation getting the best of me, but I didn’t make it really far without throwing up and horribly cursing myself. I’d done dumb things but they didn’t really compare to last night. 

Also, when I got home, there was light in the kitchen. It was an early morning and I knew, Tiffany was one to get up before sunrise but couldn’t that girl let herself get some rest once? She was reaching for the medicine cabinet, when I stepped into the kitchen, feeling her eyes on me and suddenly realising that I could easily be covered in my own vomit, if I was as unlucky as I felt that moment. 

“You need help?”, I asked nonetheless and the worry in her eyes got wilder as she heard my hoarse voice. 

“Where have you been?”

“I couldn’t tell you her name, even if I wanted to and I really shouldn’t have gone”, I tried to explain, unable to lie to her, or stand her quizzing look another second. “I feel sick, man, I had way too much scotch last night.” What would I do next, call her “mate”? This is really a great way to safe your ass out of this situation, seriously, keep going, Taylor, you’re doing great. 

“Makes two of us, though”, Tiffany murmured and stepped away, acknowledging that she was a bit too tiny to reach the pain killers. I reached up, to hand them to her, unable to look her way - mostly because I was really aware of the bad taste in my mouth and I didn’t want her to smell me in the end. 

“What’s wrong, love?”, I still asked, scared that she wasn’t alright. 

“I get sick after every exam period, really and here I am, coming down with a fever.”

“Then, hush, to bed!”, I said, grabbing her to make her move and tug her in, before I could escape into the bathroom. “I’ll make you tea and get you soup, you just stay there, you hear me?”, I rambled in the process of getting her into her bed. I started brushing my teeth, while I went into the kitchen to put some tea water to a boil and looked through the cabinets for soup, realising I’d have to pick some up at the store. That wasn’t half bad in the end, because it forced to make myself look somewhat decent and I could get new cigarettes, cheese and toast at the store too, so I could at least eat some terrible breakfast when I came back to find Tiffany asleep. 

I prepared the soup as it said on the pack and carefully carried it to her night stand, before I sat down next to Tiffany and softly ran my fingers over her face to make her wake up. Her skin was really clean and soft, but it felt hot to a point that I wished I knew a doctor, a better one than myself, for sure. 

“Wake up, sweet girl, you need to get your soup down, so you’ll get better.” She smiled at me weakly and tried to move to a sitting position, so she could cuddle against her bed’s headboard and slowly eat the soup I held for her. I watched her eat in silence while I sat next to her, my legs crossed on her mattress, realising I should turn her heater up for a start. The tea water had gotten cold while I was gone so I reheated it, to finally make the tea she needed and I looked at her in her bed critically, while she sipped it. “Tiffy, do you want me to get you more pillows?”, I asked because it was kind of impossible that I had more pillows than she did, right? She giggled at me and moved her head for me to come closer. 

“Rog, you’re acting like my mom - worse, actually, because she doesn’t consider you sick as long as your bones aren’t broken.”

“But -“

“I just need to rest, don’t worry”, she didn’t let me interrupt her. “You should go, so I don’t infect you.”

“I won’t leave you alone, unless that was your attempt to kick me out.”

“No, it wasn’t”, she explained and I felt relieved. She didn’t seem to be angry at me or the way I’d spent my night and that made me feel a little less sick. 

“Good, then”, I said and slipped under her covers. Her eyes were on me, looking a little shocked, otherwise just intensely focused on me, as I moved towards her to rest her head on one of my arms and spoon her. “You fine, love?”

“Yes, but you don’t have to -“

“But I want to”, I whispered into the back of her neck. 

“Thank you”, she murmured, shifting around a little to get the most comfortable.

“I was worried, when you didn’t come home.”

“I’m so sorry, Tiff”, I told her again, honestly. “I really shouldn’t have gone.”

“Glad you realised that”, she mumbled and it made me chuckle a little. Her breathing became slower and deeper when she feel asleep and I hummed one of the songs, the boys and I were working on, to fasten up the process, until I eventually fell asleep as well. 

Tags

@crazyweirdocalledfriday @discodeakyy @blondecarfucker

Let me know what you guys thought 💕💕

[starsgivemehp]

Appeasing the Monster

@honeyhogger

Pap watched as the distorted rays of sun filtered through the top layer of the water, their angle shifting before his eyes as time passed in a blur. It was nearly time. He glanced down into the depths below him, happy to see his brother hadnt followed him up this time. It was far too dangerous for him to be this close to the surface. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a huff, he flicked his shimmering, golden-orange tail behind him and moved forward.

The skeleton marman moved through the water far quicker and with more ease than even the fastest and most elegant human swimmer, his tail flexing with muscles hidden under his gleaming scales. He made his way towards the shore, keeping far enough below the surface of the water to stay hidden from view above it, but every so often his scales would catch the light just right and sparkle bright enough for anyone watching to see.

He made it to the drop off and looked up towards the shallows. Seeing no legs or feet he deemed it safe and rose slowly, still being cautious. He broke the surface and blinked his eyes, adjusting to the light and sounds of the surface world, and scanned the horizon. The humans should be here any time now.

Once a year the townspeople marched their way to the water where Pap and his kind resided and gave them an offering to appease them for another cycle. They were scared of Pap and his kind, fearing drowning and magic, mystical curses and spells. Truthfully, no monsters here had any desire to hurt a human and likely couldnt overpower one alone, but Asgore knew what they could do if they realized their true potential. So he encouraged these fears, planted rumors of his own, and employed Pap to play a few “pranks” on swimmers or passerbys every so often to keep the fear alive. Pap didn’t enjoy tormenting them (though it was fun to pull off more harmless pranks) and he knew Asgore and the others didn’t like it either, but he had to agree it was for the best. As long as the people were afraid of them, they would leave all of them alone. It’d be safe. And thats all Pap could ask for.

He’d been appointed as the accepter of the offering by Asgore after the softie couldn’t keep up the intimidating facade as well as he used to. First Sans had volunteered to take his place, but Pap made sure to shut that down quick. Sans was too nice, too willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, the humans would see through his tough guy charade in no time. Pap on the other hand…well, he had a good poker face, thats for sure. And apparently seeing what appeared to be a human skeleton rise up out of the depths scared the poor townsfolk far more than ol’ fluffybuns ever could.

Speaking of the townsfolk, Pap could finally see them. They rose over the sand dune, just a small pack of them, and were pulling something behind them. Pap squinted curiously, having never seen something like this before. They usually brought a small box that was easy to see with some food and trinkets inside it that were of value to them, but he couldn’t see anything like that now. Three humans stood in front of whatever they were pulling along, blocking it from view, while a fourth started to approach him through the shallows. Once the human who seemed quite young with a medium beard only starting to be speckled with grey, was within 5 feet Pap bared his teeth and let out a low growl to warn him that was close enough. The man froze and Pap saw him tremble for a moment before he tried to pull himself together enough to speak.

“O-oh Great Monster of the Sea! W-we, the humble people of Ebbsvile bring to you this offering to show our gratitude for your kind benevolence, and as a symbol of our hope for peace a year more.”

Pap inclined his head at the standard speech, waiting to see where this would lead. The man bowed his head slightly and motioned for the other men to come forward into the shallows with him. The man with the graying beard wrung his hand and glanced back at Pap before lowing his gaze once more. “Great Tamer of the Water, I am reluctant to say that…” He swallowed hard and Pap noticed his hands beginning to shake no matter how hard he held them, “th-the town has had a…a r-rough harvest this year. Not that this is of any of your G-Godly concern, of course! But that means theres n-not…not much in terms of leftovers. But! But we h-have something even better for you, s-sir!”

He plastered on a nervous smile and stepped to the side, the three men stepped forward and the one in the middle pulled on what looked like a rope that was trailing behind him. Thats when Pap realized they weren’t pulling something behind them, they were pulling someone. Pap’s eyes widened as the men on the sides moved out of the way and shoved their captive  forward. Pap had to physically stop himself from gasping out in horror. A skeleton monster, much like him, was thrown forward with a splash.

“A sacrifice! J-just for you G-Great One. Please accept our offering.”

Red squirmed in his bindings, panic seizing him. All he had been trying to do was filch a few scraps of bread and cheese, maybe a piece of fruit or veggie. Just a bit of food. He would never have gone near the human settlement otherwise. He knew better, humans were violent, xenophobic, ruthless. The monsters, what few of them there were, were better off struggling to survive in the wilderness, making their own crude houses, than trying to mingle with the humans. They were better off near-starving and living in filth than dead.

But he’d been so hungry. And Vex had been so hungry. It had been a few days without food now, water the only thing keeping him upright. He’d thought he could do it. He’d thought he could get in and out without being noticed. But now... Now, he was going to die for it. He would never see Vex again. His brother would have to fend for himself, while mourning him. He choked back tears as he kept desperately wriggling, trying to free himself. It was no use. On and on he was dragged, through the grass, the mud, and eventually, some sand. Ratty clothes were made even more filthy, and his bones were sore and chafed where they’d been dragging along the ground. His face was included in that, so as they stopped, he had his sockets closed. He wasn’t sure what exactly was going on... Tamer of the Water? Monster of the Sea? Great One? Some sort of God? What the hell was going on. He spat out mud and sand, trying to see past the grit in his sockets to understand what was going on. Then, suddenly, he was lifted, and then thrown through the air.

He landed with a splash, immediately submerged. Oh god. They were drowning him. He flailed all the more insistently, panic flooding his senses. Don’t inhale water, don’t inhale water, don’t inhale water...

A part of him told himself to give up. He was going to die, no matter how much he struggled, so why struggle? But some essential part of him could not do that. Not yet. So he kept thrashing desperately, knowing how futile his efforts were.

He’d wear himself out soon.

[1spooky-dad]

listen, say what you will about fortnite, but the only context for it I have ever had was from this little fourteen year old at camp this last summer who Did Not want to be there. All he wanted was to go home and play fortnight cause that’s what he was into. his parents forced him to go to this wilderness camp that’s unplugged and full of kids who love to hike and backpack and camp under the stars. This kid didnt fit in at all. the kids in his group were annoyed by him, kids in other groups were getting irritated that all he would talk about was fortnite, even the fucking adults on staff would roll their eyes at him 90% of the time, and these people I work with are some of the nicest people I have ever met.

I may be an absolute idiot, but I hate just going along with what every one else is doing. when the rest of the staff were getting annoyed with the youth conservation corp full of older teenagers who didnt realize they had some of the responsibilities of the actual staff (because they signed up to do trail and fence repair, not babysit kids) I actually went up and made a rapport with them, and since I was friendly with them and not constantly bitching about them, they actually listened when I asked them to be responsible. by the end of their time there, they were begging to help me, in particular, because I was the only staff besides their group leaders who had realized their confusion about their positions.

I had watched this fortnite kid for a few days, seen how he interacted with everyone there, and realized that telling him to stop talking about this little video game wasnt going to make his time there any easier. it was like me when I was a trekker, and just wanted to talk about homestuck. so I sat with him at dinner and asked him to tell me about fortnite. he showed me the little dance from it, and even though I couldnt do it, I told him that it was really cool that he could do it, and do it as fast as he did. he was such a sweet kid, after chores every meal he would ask to go see the chicks on the farm, and he had one favorite one that he told me on multiple occasions that he was going to put in his pocket and sneak home. this tiny chick was literally the only thing he talked about with as much excitement as his video game.

there was no grand point where he declared I was his favorite staff member, not like with the youth corp, but there was one night, after dinner when chores were starting, and he came up to me in a panic, because he didnt know what he was supposed to be doing. with literally any other kid, i wouldnt have been surprised, but he was the type to just help with the farm if he didnt know where to go, because thats where the chicks were. so to have him come up to me and ask for help was big. (i wasnt his group leader, though, so I had no idea where he was supposed to go, but I helped him find her and asked for him cause he was just a bit too proud to ask her himself) but the point is that he was lost, and instead of doing his own thing like he normally would, he saw me walk by, thought about how I was nice to him and tried to talk about a video game I didnt know about, just so he could rant, and about how I stopped people when they tried to make fun of his little dance, and he suddenly saw me as a person he could go to for help.

that was it, basically. but it wasnt until after his group was gone, that I learned that his parents had sent him to the camp to get him out of their hair because they were in the middle of getting a divorce.the group leaders knew this, and didn’t seem to do a lot to accommodate for a kid going through a weird, uncertain time. fortnite was probably one of his few comforts. god knows how many times I’ve had to resort to getting lost in some sort of internet thing to try to ignore awful family things. every time i hear some annoying adult complain about kids enjoying fortnite, I think about all the staff at camp, rolling their eyes at this kid instead of reaching out to him. Y’all are such bullies, you’re just making fun of kids enjoying something. theres nothing wrong with it, its just a fun little game thats like minecraft with guns, why are all of you so bitter?

[travellerfufi-blog]

Epiphanies in Bangladesh

The spinning of the fan over my head spread warmth in my claustrophobic room like out of control fire Dabs of perspiration showed up on my skin and immediately vanished preparing for the following round of salty dew The motor thundered underneath me and sent my body into influxes of movement affliction I was caught between the warmth and huge vibrations

I laid on my solid bedding and gazed at the mortar of the top bunk with the expectation that my old companion rest would before long visit me Be that as it may when there was no indication of the departed guest my brain started to float away here I was on a ship in Bangladeshs Sundurbans taping a narrative however how could I arrive?

Opportunity thumped on my entryway when I got a challenge to fly out to Bangladesh as a feature of a little group to film a narrative only seven days sooner In spite of not knowing anybody or any of the game plans I promptly begun gathering my sacks and getting ready for the obscure

Fortunately enough the obscure was unimaginable We were a sum of 13 columnists and movie producers from around the globe who were all on a similar mission to delineate the magnificence of Bangladesh We remained in the capital Dhaka for the primary portion of the trek where we met a few priests visited authentic exhibition halls and went to the countrys biggest festival The Bangla New Year We at that point traveled to The Sundurbans which is portrayed as the biggest mangroves on the planet and home to the popular Bengal Tiger and remained on a ship and investigated the waterways and wildernesses for the rest of the excursion Also for each progression and each occasion I was there with my camera archiving everything

Between the warmth absence of rest and hauling around overwhelming gear I didnt have room schedule-wise to get a handle on the truth of what was unfurling until my last night on the ship My shoulders were sore and my feet were rankled however as I at long last had a minute to myself I understood how the previous couple of days have been the absolute most joyful of my life Whats more for what reason would it be a good idea for it to be some other way?

Making motion pictures has been a long lasting dream however well beyond that I have for the longest time been itching to travel and film documentaries and sooner or later even needed to be a war photographic artist Yet as life occurred and my vocation got diverted dream developed increasingly inaccessible until it in the end turned into a dab not too far off Whats more despite the fact that I quit discussing it I at times imagined myself in far off grounds putting cameras in the most dark places and acquainting the world with stories and thoughts that they never considered conceivable Luckily the universe has a method for testing that we are so frantic to satisfy our most profound darkest wants which is the means by which I wound up in Bangladesh with two cameras in my rucksack related post

With five days of successive taping I had the option to gather the genuine pith of the nation from its clamoring city roads to its tranquil rich wildernesses We met local people and caught their enthusiasm and interest we met the State Minister and got understanding into the political working frameworks we ate and chuckled with our guide and got a look at the miracles of the human soul - its liberality its thoughtfulness its neighborliness Be that as it may other than finding out about the way of life and history of another nation I generally took in a great deal about myself my dimension of devotion my aspirations and the decency in me

Diligent work has dependably been second nature to me however in the wake of being torpid for such a long time and stuck in the safe place I overlooked exactly the amount I delighted in pouring my hard labor into a task that I really thought about My job as camera lady on this trek was a decent notice of that not did I just make the most of my work but rather I was additionally unyielding on finding the best spots for my camera and making the most out of the landscape I was enthralled to the point that notwithstanding being knee somewhere down in mud with the sun consuming my skin couldnt stage me I was alive something on that outing filled me with a much needed refresher an impression that assumed control over every last trace of my body

There was additionally something about being limited in little spaces with twelve other individuals for a whole week that was satisfying Outsiders progressed toward becoming companions and long quiets transformed into singing long distance races on the transport Stories were shared and discussions were done into the early morning hours We were altogether depleted and over worked however we were all enthusiastic about what we were doing Whats more when we as a whole assembled for one last supper and as the forks and blades unresponsively scratched our plates we as a whole understood that despite the fact that we would most likely never observe each other again that we were so thankful for the experience previous post

[priestcatte-blog]

Sini’s Dark Knight story part 4

Sini would now leave the mansion more often, not only to go visit his love in the Goblet, but also to meet with the Dark Knight in La Noscea, to train away from prying eyes several times a week. The Jackals would not like having a broody stranger around the mansion and garden, and the wilderness had much more space and privacy. As per the Knights advice, Sini fought with a simple greatsword now that Bert had made for him, and he was slowly making progress.

It was a truly cheesy name, Dark Knight, Sini thought to himself as he crossed swords with the older Keeper again, but he couldnt think of a better name. The man had told Sini his name by now, Ome'a Molkot, but being mentor and pupil Sini wasn't gonna call him that. And the guy was clad in a blackened heavy armor after all... Sini had asked him once why, and the reply had been: "There are several like me, i know that much, but they don't all look like 'Dark Knights'. That's just a name people made up because it's so ominous and mysterious. And many of us are not much liked either. But i digress... this armors colour is just coincidence, personal preference. Some look like normal Knights. Some look nothing like Knights at all, more like commoners, but that doesn't change what they are and do." Sini already knew what they all had in common, the fight against injustice and the use of the so called 'dark arts', a technique they developed in Ishgard in secrecy. Sini knew that much already, so he didnt have to ask his mentor about that. He had already made some visits to Ishgard, to see the seminarium and learn more about the ishgardian way of priesthood, and at these occasions he secretly looked some of the stories about these 'Dark Knights' up.

He would ask about the Dark Arts at some point, maybe, probably... he didn't plan to yet. For now it was important to simply learn how to fight well with a greatsword and armor. Sini had told him about his first succesful, real fight. It had been on the bridge in lower La Noscea, where Sini and Shin, together with some friends of hers, had to fight off a group of scoundrels who wanted to get rid of her. Among these, Sini succesfully fought and killed a Hyur with a greatsword, an Elezen swordsman and a Roegadyn with an axe. All in teamwork with Shin and her friends of course. Why all Roes seemed to fight with axes was a curiosum that probably would keep puzzling scholars for ages... In any case, this earned Sini the approval and respect of his mentor. Good job and keep it up, the usual words one would expect. But also "Seems i were not wrong with my estimation of you." Well that was nice to hear.

But training would continue further of course, and so it did on this day too. Although Sini didn't seem very concentrated. They were sparring, training moves and reactions, as his mentors sword slammed against the protection on Sini's upper right arm. They lowered their weapons and Ome'a took off his helmet. "Get yourself together, you are not really here, not in the fight with your thoughts! Are you thinking about your sweetheart again?" Sini held his right arm in pain, but a wide grin spread on his lips nonetheless as he thought about Shin. He could hear Ome mumble something about "worst priest...", but Sini shook his head. "No... no, it's not her, actually... we got trouble in our company. Nothing i should share with outsiders..." The older Miqo'te nodded, and gestured him to follow him to the side, where they took a break standing in the shadow beneath a tree. "Yeah, thats understandable... but it eats at you, it seems." Sini leaned his sword against the bark, and rubbed his neck while looking away. "Yeah, well... it's someone i don't have a problem with usually... her name is Thya. You fought with her in the job you gave us." He nodded again, remembering. His interest was peaked. "Ah, yes... i do remember her. Fights similar to me, i am quite curious how she learned the arts... but it's not that which worries you, right? You knew about that." "Yeah... you cannot miss it when fighting with her, and i did. But no... it's something else. I just... i won't talk about it. But i feel like i cannot trust her anymore. For Reasons i cannot disclose. And that makes everything... complicated of course... I still have to work with her. Wavering trust is a problem, but i see no way how this can be solved easily." "Hm... yeah... thats bad..." The old man sat down, his armor creaking a little. He flicked his black furred ears and looked back to Limsa Lominsa, the cityscape visible in the distance. They fell silent for a moment, with only the sound of the wind and the sheep grazing nearby reaching their ears.

"I will be honest, i don't know a simple solution either. Or any advice. It's a shitty situation, but there's no help beside her regaining your trust. However she could accomplish that, i don't know the details..." Sini sighed, running a hand throuhg his grey hair and sitting down with his back against the tree. "I know... i will figure something out." Ome'a suddenly grinned, and looked back to Sini'to. "Heh, i was gonna say, i can maybe give you something to distract you from that. But i guess you have plenty of distraction with your sweetheart already, whenever you want." Sini smiled again. Yes, he had been very happy lately, before the thoughts about Thya and her family clouded his mind, but it had been pretty obvious still. And it was a nice feeling to see when people were happy for him. "But i am a curious sort... you can still show me. What did you have in mind?"

The old man reached for something under his armor, a little bag that he seemingly always had close to his body. He opened it and took a small black crystal out, adorned with a golden symbol. It was fitting into his palm perfectly. "Do you know what this is?" Sini straightened up a little, raising his brows. "Yes... that's a soulstone, no? I heard they are pretty rare. But i read about them. That little symbol differentiates it from a gem." Ome'a nodded. "Yes, smart one. It's my soulstone. I got this one from my master, the one who picked me up from the brume after my mother died and trained me. He got it from his master and where he got it from, i have no idea. I assume some Knights just started to make these, like other soulstones that are around, to pass them on. Like we do with our art. Master, apprentice, master, apprentice, and so on... So you know what it can do." Sini leaned forward, inspecting the stone curiously. He nodded slowly, hesitant. "Yes... i assume it could allow someone to learn your dark arts, as you called them... i have spoken with Thya about it once. She said it's a dark force inside you, that you can harness to empower yourself, but you have to be careful... the price to pay is an internal struggle. She called it a voice in your head, that speaks to you and wants to make you do things, or even take over herself... but then again it's not really just some voice, it's still you. It's another you, but still you. Part of you. She said it's hard to describe..." "Hmm, yes..." The black haired keeper held the small stone up betwen his index and thumb, tilting his head a little as he watched it. It was slightly heart shaped and deep black, like the purest Onyx Sini had ever seen, the light shining on its polished surface. "That's one way to put it. I also heard it does differ from person to person, and manifests differently for different people. She is right, it's nothing from outside, it's all you. So you don't need to worry about that, you don't get a voice in your head. It is like... urges and desire. You know? We all have urges, but of course, we don't just give in to them. We are civilized, we know what we can do and what we better shouldn't do. We fight our urges. It is like that, just stronger. Go ahead, bash that guys face in. He deserves it! Make him pay. Who cares about the people staring? Just let him feel the pain, pay him back tenfold, nay, hundred! Like that. For example."

He was very calm as he talked about it like that, and Sini watched him with a frown, not sure what to think. "You can control it. You learn that. It's not much different then than controling our daily urges. It's just when we tire and slip that it gets dangerous. If the urges take control of us, if we go and bash that guys head in, we have to live with the consequences. But... the powers it can grant are very, very useful... you might have already seen some of the things one can do with it from your friend Thya." He held it out for Sini, looking him straight in the eyes. "You'll have already guessed it by now, i want to give it to you. I had an apprentice once, but he died, and now im old and dont want to go through that again, and i dont know if i would even live long enough. But you are smart, you are capable, and you can make good use of the things i show and teach you. You're not a warrior, but a mage... you have to learn to fight, but the powers and magics you will learn with this stone will be much easier for you, i am sure. You are smart, you can figure it out. And i figure using the magics the dark arts grant will be very useful for you. You can, no you must incorporate them into your fighting. That's what makes a 'so called Dark Knight' much better than any other ordinary fighter. You could use magical shields, for example. But as said, you'll prolly have seen from your friend what else it can do..."

Sini was staring at the stone with a frown. He was clearly hesitant, reaching out but not taking it yet. "I don't know... Thya said there's no going back." Ome'a shrugged. "That's true, i guess. I never tried. But yeah, i guess think good about it. Go ahead, you can take it, it wont just go and imbue you with scary dark powers. It won't do anything unless you concentrate on it." "You don't need it anymore?" "No... it literally only teaches you. It's filled up with... the experiences of its former bearers, to say it in lack of a better description. I can't describe how it works, but you can learn with it, things just seem to come to you naturally with it. I already know everything, i know how to use the Darkness. You don't need to stone for it, it just shows you how. And i will give it to you anyway, if you decide to learn it or not. I'm old, as said, and i rather give it away before i die somewhere and it gets lost. Even if you don't use it, you can give it to someone else." Sini nodded and sighed, reaching for the stone and taking it. It felt cold in his hand, and smooth, not different to any other gem. Unconsciously, with his other hand he reached for the glas encased pieces of topaz that were hanging on a chain around his neck, a gift made by Shin. They were the broken remains of the gem with which he always had summoned his carbuncle Puff, since his childhood. Symbol of his lifelong practised arcanism, that was failing on him now and again lately.

He nodded to the old Knight and closed his fist around the soulstone, his voice steadfast. "Alright. You are entrusting me with something important to you. I thank you, and promise to make or find good use of it. I apprecaite it."   The other keeper smiled faintly. "Heh. Well... thanks for taking care of my legacy, so to say." He got up and stretched, holding his back like a typical old man. He looked back to the City in the distance again, and Sini swore the Knight even got a bit melancholic. "It's a chain of tradition that goes on and on, and should be kept going...keep the art alive and all that. It's like life, really. Old teach the new, things get passed on from generation to generation, and so on and so on..." He gazed out into the distance and fell silent, and Sini could only imagine the things that probably went through the old keepers head. What if his life had taken different turns? What if he had grown up in the shroud instead? What if he, instead of leading a vigilante life, had settled down and got a family? Who knew, who knew... what if, could have been, all that didn't matter in the end... Life was what it was right now, and none of us could change the past. Ome'a chuckled and shook his head, probably thinking just the same as Sini right now.

He took his helmet and put it back on his head. Now he was the image of a Dark Knight again, gone was the old man, hidden beneath a blackened suit of armor and only for few to know. "Heh. Thanks again. See you around next time. And don't die, alright? Would be a shame. Your sweetheart would be sad." With that, he strode off, towards Limsa Lominsa, leaving Sini behind underneath that tree. The grey priest in a training suit of armor followed the Knight with his gaze until he was out of sight, sitting there and pondering.