#and just fucking. carried that drama queen the whole way

[fma03envy]

The sillies

[wileys-russo]

Ella toone, reader is a doctor or nurse in the hospital, assuring her that she won’t loose her finger after the darts game on national camp 😂 fluff

drama queen II e.toone

"is that ella?" you heard a scream in the distance and looked up from the stack of papers you were palming through with a frown. your coworker gave you a shrug, the question answered for you as esme barreled in a few seconds later.

"tooneys took her finger off with a dart!" the blonde breathed out shakily as your eyes widened. "she's what?" you exclaimed, grabbing the med bag and hurrying after her toward the rec room of base camp.

ellas cries of pain echoed after you as you and esme burst through the doors, a small crowd gathered around your girlfriend. "alright girls give me some room here please." you ordered gently as they parted and you dropped to your knees.

"what have you done this time el?" you sighed, a bloodied rag wrapped around her hand as she sobbed. "oh baby i've lost it! i've lost me finger! i'm only gonna have four now!" ella cried out choking back tears, head slumping to your shoulder.

"not helping!" you mouthed toward alessia and niamh who couldn't seem to help giggling at the girls expense. "fuck off the pair of ya! this is your fault charles!" ella sobbed angrily, good hand pointing at her threatningly.

"my fault! tooney its not my fault you decided to use your hand to block a perfectly good shot. what were you thinking? your hands not dart proof!" niamh scoffed as you gave both her and alessia a look, the taller blonde carting her off as ella huffed.

"did you try to use your hand as a dart board babe?" you teased, hoping to try and lighten the situation as a few of the older girls started to usher everyone away to give you and ella some space, most of them still hovering nearby in concern.

"no! god baby i've lost my finger! its gone!" ella cried out with a groan as you warned you were going to unwrap the rag from her hand. you sucked in air through your teeth seeing the amount of dried blood as ella covered her eyes with her spare hand.

"i can't look. is it bad? can ya sew it back on?" ella questioned anxiously. "i just need to wipe away the blood so i can get a better look love, this is gonna sting." you warned, mary dropping to her knees on ellas other side and nudging her to hold her hand.

"you sure maz? of all people we need your hands unbroken." you joked but there was a hint of seriousness in your tone carrying over the real warning, mary moving back as esme took her spot and ella clutched onto her hand, eyes squeezed shut.

"is it bad? baby i need updates!" ella fussed, groaning in pain as you gently started to wipe away the blood, the cut still oozing out fresh stuff as you went, squeezing her leg reassuringly.

"is it barely hanging on? will ya have to amputate? can ya play football with four fingers?" ella asked question after question, cursing in pain and trying to pull her hand back as you held on tightly.

"alright. give it to me straight baby, how bad?" ella let go of esmes hand to gently pat your cheek, eyes still squeezed shut as your own rolled. "this is gruesome babe, i think we'll need to amputate the whole hand." you sighed, mary smacked your shoulder gently as you looked up with a grin and ella shrieked.

"el you muppet i don't have to amputate anything, your finger is very much so still attached to your hand and staying that way." you chuckled before she could kick off, eyes glaring daggers at you as you smiled.

"look at it! thats not fine! its danglin!" ella huffed nodding furiously down at her hand. "you're very lucky you've missed the tendon and the nerves that would have been bad, but fingers just bleed a lot. the cut is about three and a half deep, i'll need to pop a few dissolvable stitches in and you'll be right as rain." you assured but it did nothing to stop her moaning about.

with a nod mary and esme helped her up as you all headed for the medics office where the rest of your supplies were, you quietly murmering to esme to go and let sarina know what happened as the blonde nodded and took off.

"el you will be fine my love, your finger is fine!" you smiled as she groaned out in pain again, taking a seat as mary sat beside her and you rummaged around in the first aid kit. "its not fine i almost lost it!" ella cried out with a huff as mary rubbed her back trying not to laugh.

"i know i know and you're being very brave." you cooed, sitting in front of her and softly grabbing her wrist. "careful!" ella shouted with another groan as you withheld the urge to roll your eyes at her dramatics.

"so did it drop off? is she gonna have four fingers now? i think you should keep it in a little jar tooney as a momento." alessia poked her head inside with a wolfish grin as you shot her a look and ella kicked off again.

"less be supportive or go away." you warned with a ghost of a smile as the tall blonde stood beside mary, opting to remain quiet. "gentle woman jesus!" ella hissed yanking her hand away.

"ella i haven't even started yet that was just me wiping away the dried blood." you sighed, motioning for her hand again as she mumbled something and curled into marys side, hiding her face in the keepers shoulder as alessia reached over and rubbed her back.

"now i'm starting and i need you to sit very still please baby." you warned rather firmly as ella nodded, face still hidden away in marys shoulder as she groaned out in pain every now and then.

"ella i said still!" you sighed impatiently as you started on the first stitch and she flinched, your grip on her tightening. "alessia talk to her please, take her mind off it." you requested as the blonde started to ramble some stories of her countless clumsy moments making ella laugh.

"okay. done!" you announced a couple of minutes later, gently wrapping a bandage tightly around her finger to stem the bleeding. "leave that on tonight and i'll re-dress it tomorrow morning." you ordered, ella sitting up with a nod.

"needs one more thing though baby." you quirked an eyebrow curiously as a smile graced the midfielders face and she held her hand out expectantly. "you're unbelievable sometimes toone." you sighed in amusement, gently kissing her bandaged finger.

"ya comin up baby?" ella asked, trailing behind once mary and alessia had stepped out. "in a bit, i've got a bit more paperwork to get ahead of love." you smiled apologetically as your girlfriend nodded.

"thank ya, my little nurse." ella grinned, leaning across your desk to kiss you sweetly. "anytime for my favourite patient." you chuckled and waved for her to go, really needing to make a dent into the files scattered in front of you.

"i'll be expectin some extra kisses tonight yanno, since i almost lost me finger today!" ella warned from the doorway as you smiled with a shake of your head, eyes focused on millies file you'd just flicked open as your girlfriend stepped out.

"oi less, niamhy! rematch?" your head snapped up at that as you hurried to the door, poking your head out and watching your girlfriends figure retreat back toward the rec room.

"ella ann toone no more darts!"

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfic - Muggle

Words: 662

@wolfstarmicrofic

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

“I think I fell in love with a muggle today.” Sirius threw himself on James’ bed.

“The girl who works at that pub?”

Sirius shook his head, “The new guy who works at the record shop round the corner.”

James looked up at him, “Huh, alright. He’s hot?”

“So hot!” Sirius covered his eyes with his arm, “I made a complete twat of myself.

“Well, yeah, you generally do.” James went back to the magazine he’d been poring over.

“Fuck you!” Sirius frowned. “I told him my favourite Beatles album is Abbey Road. Abbey Road, James!” James looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. “Abbey Road is a good album, a great album, even. But Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt Pepper! My babies, I’m sorry for forsaking you in a moment of panic! He genuinely looked at me so judgementally.”

“Did he tell you his?”

“Sgt Pepper, because he’s perfect.” He groaned. “Well, that’s that. I can never go back there.”

“You’re such a drama queen,” James said. “Just go back and be like ‘hi, I’m a hot mess’.”

“S’pose it worked for you and Lily.” Sirius yelped as James threw a pillow at him. “Maybe I could obliviate him or something.”

“Did you learn nothing at the Healer academy?”

“I learnt how to sedate people, and believe me, it’s really fucking tempting right now.” He shot back. “Does Lily still want to go out later?”

“Yeah, she wants us to go to some muggle place in London. Her mate just moved down here and apparently, we must meet him.” Sirius ‘ooooh’ed ominously. “Shut up, you struck out with a muggle today.”

 

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

 

Sirius was speechless. As they manoeuvred through the busy pub to where Lily had claimed a table, he followed James blindly. As they got to the table, he finally got a look at Lily’s friend.

“Abbey Road!” Lily’s friend half shouted with a grin, much to Sirius’ surprise.

“Sgt Pepper!” He saluted, and Lily’s friend laughed; a glorious, warm sound.

Lily looked between them, “You’ve met?”

“Please tell me this is who I think it is!” James’ grin was so wide that it looked painful.

“Wait. Abbey Road?” Lily’s mouth dropped open, “Sirius is the—”

“I knew you were judging me!” Sirius sat down opposite him.

“I’ve just never seen someone blurt out ‘Abbey Road’ in such a panicked way before.” He shrugged.

“It’s not even his actual favourite.” James slid into the seat next to Sirius.

A smirk appeared on Lily’s friend’s face as he realised that Sirius had gone straight home and talked about him. “No?”

“It’s top five, but yeah, I wasn’t expecting the question. I may have panicked slightly.” Sirius held his gaze. “It probably goes Revolver, Sgt Pepper, Rubber Soul, Abbey Road, Help.”

“I may have judged him prematurely.” He turned to Lily.

“Nah, you got him pretty much on the money.” Lily laughed, “Sirius, this is my friend Remus from back home. He works in your favourite record shop.”

“Yeah, I figured that part out on my own,” Sirius muttered. “Does anyone want a drink?” He stood up as Lily and James both nodded.

“I’ll help you carry them.” Remus stood up, smiling.

As they walked to the bar, James turned back to Lily. “I take it you had to manage a pining friend this afternoon too?”

“He came round after work like ‘I had the hottest customer today but when I asked, he told me his favourite Beatles album was Abbey Road.’ Like, it pained him, James.” Lily linked their pinky fingers on the table.

“Oh, that’s tame. I got ‘I fell in love with a muggle today.’ And a whole spiel about how flustered he got and why he answered wrong.”

“Wait, Remus isn’t a muggle.” Lily giggled. “He... just didn’t go to Hogwarts.”

“Huh,” James looked over to the bar where the two of them were deep in conversation, “Well, still, I can’t believe they beat you to your own plan.”

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

Super hopeful we're now getting to the part where we finally get rid of Manniang 🙄 I am tired of her nonsense. She isn't even smart and her schemes are so vulgar and basic.

Tingye, please listen to Nanny!

***

Mmm... doubt that, but OK.

***

LOL, she seems unhappy at the prospect of doing manual labour for a living 🤣🤣

***

OH FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF 🤬🤬

This is rich, coming from a man who has never once made a decision in his life without consulting his dick first 🙄

***

LMAOOOOOOO, he couldn't sneak if his life depended on it 🤣🤣

***

Aww, Minglan, cutie, reaching out to make up with Gu Tingye 😢

***

Oh? 👀

Why not? They couldn't swing it after all?

***

I find it fascinating that all these high-born women were still expected to cook.

I can't imagine a European duchess or queen cooking anything ever unless it was a special hobby or something. When I think back on other harems in c-dramas I've seen, all the consorts/wives cooked. For example, in Nirvana in Fire we see Consort Jing being especially good at it.

Even in 2ha, Taxian-jun, who was a whole emperor at the time and had countless servants to prepare his food, insisted that Chu Wanning cook for him, even though he was terrible at it. He personally taught him to make that rice porridge and he ate it no matter what slop Chu Wannning ended up concocting. Of course, cooking and eating is Mo Ran's love language, so it made sense that he insisted on Chu Wanning doing this for him, because he desperately needed to feel loved by him, but it still seems like cooking was the norm rather than an exception among all high-level wives.

***

SHE WAS SELLING HIS MOTHER'S STUFF?

LMAO, oh, Manniang, you are so done! 🤣🤣

***

Honestly, Manniang is so embarrasing.

There she was, thinking she was fit to play on the big chessboard with the likes of Madam Qin and the rest of the nobles, but she got caught out like a rat by Nanny Chang through some elementary-level trickery. Truly pathetic.

***

How is he penniless when he has farmlands and shops in his possession?

Also, how is it even possible for some rando to sell land registered to another person without their consent?

***

Wait, who's alive?

***

How does anyone ever fall for this bullshit?

Why should he be the one to kill your treacherous ass and then carry you around on his conscience?

Fuck off and go die on your own terms, if you're so eager.

***

LMAO, classic DARVO.

Just boot her out already! I swear, men will stick their dicks into anything that comes attached to a pretty face.

She's not even a competent liar, Tingye! Please find some self-respect.

***

I mean, good, I am beyond sick and tired of her whiny, fake baby voice, but I'm worried she'll try to harm the kids.

Storywise, it makes sense, because we can't have competition for Minglan's legitimate offspring 🙄

***

With a mother like you, who needs enemies?

***

God, if she whines, "Erlaaaaaaaaang," once more in that slimy soft voice, I will break something, it grates on my nerves so badly.

I went down an ASMR rabbit hole sometime back and there were these women using this fake baby voice to narrate their shitty videos. It unnerved me so much. I can't even pinpoint the reason, it's just that all the alarm bells I have in my brain start blaring when I hear it.

***

LOL, of course she does.

[asoulwithadream]

Shoscombe Old Place / Part 2 - Sherlock & Co From the diary of ASoulWithADream…

I'm so excited that we're getting a three-parter after three-parter. They're brilliant and as the production quality increases exponentially, these drawn out adventures holding more content are so important to me.

Live Soul Reaction (my little on-the-spot commentary):

The episode sub-title just makes me think of Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. "🎵 You've got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere,"

John explaining the stupid social hierarchy, state-till-8's, the little 'I dunno's' of doubt, as if he still feels a bit confused or insecure about the whole situation with Carrie and him. The way he phrases it makes me think of superficiality.

"Like some big slobbery traitor!" I like how the roles have switched to Sherlock defending Archie from John.

Again with the card references!

Gary Lineker's mate. That's the second time HE's been mention. There's been an awful lot of emphasis on repeating motifs. Makes me wonder what else from last week's episode will feature today.

"You're invaluable, Watson!" "Awh." "Cheers!" <33333333

"Ah! Goodness! Hello Bob- UH, Robert Knob- Robert Norbertson! Ugh, spit it out, John."

"Just what she needs. Just… what she needs." Bobby you are not making yourself look more innocent you smoldering drama queen.

Sherlock swallowing a fly 😭

Lineker again!

Jump in the river. Jumping into a body of water. This is the third time. For fuck's sake.

"World's colliding. New friends, meeting old friends."

Who's calling John a twat on the internet???

Ash. Ash on the leaves, on the nettles, on the bark of the trees. Didn't Sherlock mention smoke? From the house, Shoscombe? Last week, he said it very explicitly. Smoke.

"It's a house for the dead." "A mausoleum." "Yes, a very tired one."

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.

"Sherlock." "Yes, Watson." "Quick question." "Fire away!" "Are we… trapped? In a… four-hundred year old mausoleum?" "Trapped is a rather subjective term. We did CHOOSE to enter." "Sherlock." "Yes actually, I think we are."

Pick a tomb, mate! COS' I AM GOING TO KILL YOU >:(

"Brings a certain perspective, doesn't it? Being in here, with the long dead."

The way John realises that he's snapped just immediately forgives and dismisses Sherlock as the cause of their predicament really goes to show the bond they share, how they're able to adapt and just remain sane in their situation.

"What… feels like home?" "Baker Street." <3333333333333

"Rivers are just as doubtful, Watson. Just as unsure. They take the course they find easy, through the soft earth. That's why their paths are winding and splintered. They look for the easy way. Only the most determined bore through the hardest rock. Overtime, much, much time." More water, which could mean nothing. But seriously speaking, I love Sherlock's perspective on things, and how he reassures Watson with these beautiful metaphors, connecting their surroundings and the information he has consumed to describe his dear friend. <3

"Even the torrents that seem so wondrous to us will reach their end in a sea, a lake… a waterfall." HE SAID IT. Before I thought I was being delusional! Anything could be water, but the hesitation, the torrent he speaks of being a metaphor for both himself through John's perspective and the adventure that Moriarty will pose for them both, but especially for Sherlock Holmes!! I'm freaking out!!

"Shout out to Pro- ooh, Professor!" I AM DEAD. I HAVE TO PAUSE. IT CAN'T BE. WHAT I WAS JUST JOKING BEFORE. I'M BEING DELUSIONAL.

PROFESSOR JAMES MORIARTY.

JAMES MORIARTY.

MORIARTY.

WHO IS LISTENING INTENTLY, TO EVER WORD.

WHOEVER THAT ONE TUMBLR POSTER WAS WHO SAID "haha what if he got a shoutout" YOU WERE RIGHT. I'VE TRIED TO TAG YOU BUT I CAN'T FIND THE POST, BUT YOU WERE RIGHT. FUUUUUUUUUU-

"I can hear the corpses from the seventeenth century crying into the mic! I've lost my mind!" I doubt you're as much in shock as I am right now.

I was trying to appreciate their little pre-crypt banter and pep-talk, but I can not stop thinking about the ballistic missile which was the waterfall-shoutout section. Absolutely bonkers, and balls to the fucking walls. The balls are everywhere.

I better not see "42 - The Final Problem - Part One" on my Spotify on the 16th of July in the Year of our Lord 2024.

[moldybonessmell]

The Umbrella Academy season 3 review post

I finally finished season 3 of tua even tho I've watched first two seasons first day they came out and oh boy do I have things to talk about-

To begin with, the things I like about new season:

- The way we finally dug into Allison's trauma and how she starts going psychotic is actually a good plot line especially the accent on how she just like any other Umbrella Academy people indulges in self-distructive behavior, she's really just like them

- Diego getting a kid as someone with the biggest daddy issues out there is a realistic plotline because having a kid (even if Stanley's not actually his) heals him in this regard tho he and Lila would get a kid anyway eventually but they really should've been more sad about Stanley thanosing out of the existence you know

- Five being the founder of The Temps Commission makes so much sense as he's the one with the power to travel time of course he's more powerful than it seemed

- Good music scenes. Music is what season 1 was incredible for and what I love about the show. In season 2 there weren't many scenes that caught my attention but in s3 it's definetely better. We got Klaus's death montage with "Crystallised" by The xx and celebration scene with "Another one bites the dust" by Queen + Luther on moon and "Friday I'm in Love" by The Cure these were really nice.

- The Oblivion Hotel is such a cool location and concept (a place for everyone) I like the change of place of action a lot, but the way it's a portal is kinda overused imo

- Lila and Five are still the best characters and carried the season

- Fei is such a cool chara with a distict character design (which most of Sparrow Academy lack tbh)

Now things I don't like:

- Ben being just a placeholder character is such a bummer because instead of getting angst and drama we got a mostly one-dimentional anti-hero who has a completely different personality from Ben. We got a tiny bit of his character when he admitted he just wants to be involved with everyone but it's really minimal.

I can't believe Klaus says "He's an asshole and he's dead to me" like WHAT DO YOU MEAN fuck no Klaus would not say that shit and he would not just give up on him. Yeah Luther says stuff like "I'm glad to see you even if you're different" or whatever but it's Klaus who've spent the most time with Ben.

The way literally any other actor could have played Sparrow Ben and nothing would change is lame af I hope in next season we will see more changes

- Same goes to my dear Grace who's just a placeholder for black hole worshipper like what do you mean we just got one phrase from Diego and that's it??? This whole bit with fake god and stuff really threw me off it didn't go anywhere

- The Sparrow Academy being one-dimentional characters in general like I get producers probably didn't have enough episodes to actually develop characters but holy shit are they boring.

Even if you want to make them just antagonists we had such cool villains in two previous seasons they were original and interesting (aka The powerless podcast-fan male manipulator Peabody and The Cunty Handler)

Also the way the fisrt Sparrows who died were the most annoying and cliche assholes makes them just filler charas

- How show tried to make us feel compassion to Reginald Hargreeves holy shit do I hate this guy- After Klaus realised his father was basically killing him over and over in his childhood instead of Klaus getting mad or upset and having a breakdown we got nothing.

He even came back to new timeline Reginald who's "nicer" for this asshole just to hurt him AGAIN

- Klaus mostly being a comic relief in this season is so fucked I love this character and in previous seasons we had a great look at his life and experiences but now he's just kinda there being high and that's it

"mm I guess he died a few times it's probably enough" - plot writers

no character development whatsoever is just upsetting.

And the amount of unnecessary traumatising aka Reginald training him was really not it, even if it's supposed to be a joke.

- Reginald being a two-faced ass like holy shit is this terrifying. Pogo was the one who gave Sparrows pills and now Klaus helped him to stop taking them and this asshole is taking advantage of naive and vulnerable Klaus.

It is in fact a good plot twist but bro I really did prefer Reginald being a cartoonish villian instead of actual pure evil like how does he have shitty motivation but still does just so much shit.

- The Umbrella Academy family having no improvement in their relationship. They still don't care Klaus relapsed, they still don't care about Viktor. All they care about is their own misery which is really in character but with three seasons out of the way and only one more left I would expect at least something you know.

- Viktor is still left out. Like bro the only compassion he had is only when he transitioned but this is it?? Bro's still waiting till someone comes and cares about him but not only this doesn't happen, he even gets rediculed by Sparrow Ben for that and called emo are you actually kidding me what's with all the hurt with no comfort???

It feels a lot like when you're mentally ill and your family kinda "walks on eggshells" to not trigger you but it's in quotes because they don't actually care. They act nice just because they think you're psycho and you would make less problems if they pretend. And this is very sad, Viktor is such a tragic character.

Okay that's it for now. If you have any thoughts please share in comments!

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

The Tremaine Girls

Technically, in Dead Beauty AU, but since they couldn’t care less about the plot, you can read this as one-shot. Evie’s visit at the salon.

Dulcia rinses off her hands and prepares to close the salon. It is her turn today, as Anthony decided he was taking a day off – that decision had absolutely nothing to do with how Ginny Gothel looked yesterday, Dulcia is sure.

Absolutely nothing.

She huffs a little, as she doesn’t think that her cousin being unable to deal with moderate doses of poison should mean more work for her. He should just develop an immunity and/or walk it off like a man, you know.

She shakes off the water from her hands, as she refuses to touch a towel Jaxon from the Shadow Keep just used; the droplets splatter on the already dirty floor. She’ll call Desdemona or Angelica to clean it, later.

The doors open.

She breathes in sharply, fully prepared to yell any variation of „Get the fuck out“ at the top of her lungs. Then she takes in who walked in, the familiar shade of dark blue hair and bloody lipstick.

„Girls!“ she shouts instead, „We have a visit, come down!“

Dani and Dolly, who were working in the salon with her, rush to her side first, as their visitor calmly walks in.

„Evie!“

„Dulcia!“ Evie takes her hands and kisses both of her cheeks in exaggerated greeting, „Long time since we’ve talked, and you look lovely as ever!“

The Evil Queen’s daughter was always such a flatterer – part of the reason Dulcia likes her so. The other part, of course, being how much she’s willing to spend on her already perfect looks.

Evie greets Dani the same way, and compliments her on her eyeliner; „Is that a new look?“

Unfortunately, it is not, and if you ask Dulcia, it is tacky at best, but Danique refuses to see reason. In her humble opinion, Danique is just copying Harriet Hook, who is hanging around entirely too much.

Either way, the rest of her sisters and cousins sans Anthony made their way downstairs, and she snaps her attention back to make sure no one is harmed too much and the salon stays standing.

She watches as Evie kisses the cheeks of the older ones, hugs the younger ones and even lifts Delilah on her hip.

„She’s much too old for that,“ Dulcia scoffs, „Stop babying her.“

„Nonsense, Dellie, isn’t it,“ coos the princess of all Evil, touching the child’s cheek with her nose and pointedly not putting her down.

Dulcia scoffs again as Dellie laughs in joy; she’ll want to be carried all the time now, and she’s getting too heavy for Dulcia to lift.

She’ll just have to redirect her to annoy Anthony, then.

Still, she takes her little sister from Evie and carefully puts her down, gently nudging her towards the sitting area.

„Come, sit,“ she says to her girls, „Deborah, be a dear and go make us all some tea.“

She ignores Deborah’s long face and Evie’s performative protests, waving her words away.

„Long since we saw you, indeed,“ she says, „How’s Auradon treating you? Any Prince Charming or a knight on white horse on the horizon?“

„Is he rich?“ interrupts Deborah rudely, calling out from the kitchenette. Dulcia knew why she sent her away.

„Yes, yes, that too,“ she allows as she sinks on her favourite spot on the sofa, subtly nudging Dellie to climb on Dani’s lap instead, „Is he very rich? Does he own a lot of mirrors?“

„Did you bring us anything from Auradon?“ interrupts Dizzy with wide eyes and Dulcia inclines her head slightly – she’d just love a gift.

Evie laughs, just like the so unfortunately lost glockenspiel, and eventually says: „Actually, yes, I did bring you gifts.“

Notably, Dulcia doesn’t straighten up at that unlike many of her younger relatives, retaining her posture. She is a lady and she won’t fall over herself at the mention of free shit, thank you very much.

„It was… A bit last minute, this whole thing, really,“ Evie gestures dismissively in the vague direction of the port, „but I did bring you something.“

Dulcia nods in feigned understanding, not really interested in any sorts of pirate drama right now, not when Evie reaches for her purse to pull out the presents.

First, she lays down a box on the table right in front of Dulcia. „Chocolate,“ she explains as Dulcia runs her finger over the lid, „Got this from an overeager customer, but I can’t eat it. I’m watching my figure, you understand.“

Of course, Dulcia understands.

„Of course,“ she agrees as she slowly puts a bonbon on her tongue, letting it melt. Fuck– it’s good. She decides Anthony doesn’t need to know about this present of theirs.

„For the little ones,“ Evie continues, and Dulcia passes the box to the older sisters with an over-heavy sigh, as apparently, no more chocolate is coming.

Evie shakes some brightly-wrapped lollipops in the air, leans forwards and whispers conspiratorially: „I stole this from a baby.“

She winks when Dellie giggles.

„Oh, darling, what sorts of manners are you teaching them?“ Dulcia says, mostly just to be annoying, and snatches another chocolate for herself.

„I’ll have you know I’m passing Remedial Goodness with shining grades.“

„You’re lying to the poor teacher through your teeth, aren’t you.“

„Of course I am,“ Evie flashes the room a shining smile as she reaches to her purse again; Deborah finally comes, bearing a tray of tea. She puts it down and reaches for the chocolate, Annie clammers to settle on the lap of her favourite sister.

„Thank you,“ says Evie.

„Anyway, figured you could use this.“

A small array of full nail polish bottles is set on the table and Dulcia quickly decides Anthony doesn‘t need to know about these either; no way she’s letting these beauties end up in the salon.

And as for dear old grandmother, well, what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.

„And something extra for my favourite little designer,“ finishes Evie, passing a shiny notebook to Dizzy, and Dulcia snorts.

„Disgusting favouritism,“ she mutters under her breath and drives her elbow into Dani’s side for doing the same.

„I'd have brought more,“ sighs Evie, delicately sipping on her tea, „But Mal decided she couldn't keep dating Ben any longer and that she needed to get back to the Isle right this second. Why is frankly beyond me.“

Dulcia takes a moment to process what she said, ignoring the familiar insult to their home. Deborah does no such thing:

„What the fuck do you mean, couldn't keep dating the king?!“ she blurts out.

„Language,“ scolds Dulcia on instinct, „Really though, what the fuck. Did he threaten to kill her firstborn daughter or what?“

Honestly, Dulcia struggles to conceive of a reason to dump the bloody high king short of murder. And, frankly speaking, that could be forgiven too. Maybe with an apology necklace, brilliants and gold. Maybe pearls. She’d need to think it over.

„Don’t be so hard on her,“ sniffs Evie disdainfully, „It’s been tough for her.“

Yeah, while the Isle is a walk through roses orchard – Dulcia doesn’t bother hiding her grimace in her cup of tea.

Actually, she could do with a glass of red wine right now, too.

„Really,“ insists Evie, „It was. Everyone wanted her to change, as if– as if she could be more perfect than she already is.“

Dulcia lifts her lips in a small smile, aimed at Deborah and Danique. She has a sinking feeling they know something Evie doesn’t.

„She could have given us a little bit more of a notice before she decided to run off, though. I – we wouldn’t hold it against her.“

Evie wouldn’t, Dulcia is sure.

On completely unrelated note:

„Dani, sweetheart, would you fetch me the red wine from the kitchen?“

„Make Debbie do it,“ argues Danique, gesturing to Annie sitting on her lap and apparently unwilling to move.

„Debbie made us tea,“ decides Dulcia, „You bring the wine. Annie can go with you, help you carry the glasses.“

You see, Dulcia just needs to drink to that poor knight in shining armour that will inevitably end up playing the second violin.

Before she can ask if there is such unfortunate, rich, fellow, Dizzy interrupts:

„Yeah, well– The king. Shouldn’t you do something about that?“

Evie picks at her nails a little, humming in non-response. Quick glance tells Dulcia that she’s just waiting for Dani and the wine to get there.

Fortunately, it doesn’t take long.

Dulcia takes her glass from her younger sister and watches as Evie swirls the wine in hers before finally answering: „Nah. Builds character, you know. It’ll be good for him.“

And, you know, Dulcia recognises jealousy speaking if she hears it. She hides her expression in her wine as she shares a conspiratorial glance with her sisters.

„A king should know how his subjects live,“ states Addie with all the self-importance she’s capable of, and Dulcia drinks so she wouldn‘t laugh at the smart-ass little girl. She just started lessons with their Grandmother, it wouldn’t do to discourage her.

„Exactly,“ nods Evie.

„And you’d know it, right? You’re a princess,“ adds Addie, hoping for more praise.

„That’s right, little one.“

Evie really is spoiling them.

„A princess needs a prince,“ challenges Annie, sucking on her lollypop, „Do you have one?“

„Not a prince, but– there is a boy,“ Evie frowns slightly, „He’s… adequate, I suppose.“

Such a high praise, indeed, but– adequate is as far as any noble girl could possibly want, so Dulcia doesn’t comment any.

She just smiles and listens as her sisters ask all the important questions:

„Is he rich?“

„Does he own a lot of mirrors?“

„Do you have a picture?“

„No, no, and yes, actually, I do,“ answers Evie as she reaches for her purse again, fishing out a strange mirror-like device that Dulcia doesn’t really care to ask about. She fiddles with it for few seconds before passing the thing to Dulcia – eldest sister privileges.

„Pass,“ Dulcia comments, barely sparing the picture a second glance, „Really, girl? Why him?“

„He’s nice–“

Yeah, Gaston is nice too, when he wants to get a girl to fuck him.

Thus, Dulcia only scoffs, passing the device to Dani, so the other girls could pass their judgement too.

„Pass,“ decides Dani, sending Evie a vaguely insulted look; Annie repeats after her. 

Deborah passes too, but Angelica decides on „Smash“ after a moment of hesitation – she’s been feeling very grown up lately.

Dulcia grimaces at her little cousin: „Get better standards,“ she advises her.

„What? I like his hair, it looks soft.“

„Get better standards and you’re banned from the salon until I know you won’t give any of our dear paying customers a haircut like that.“

Unimpressed with Angelica’s pout, Dulcia drinks from her wine deeply.

Really, the youth these days–

Dulcia behaved much more sensibly at her age, she’s sure.

„Who’s he anyway?“ asks Dani, successfully feigning an adequate level of interest.

„Doug, son of Dopey. One of Snow’s dwarves,“ Evie adds quickly for the benefit of those present who had much more important shit to do than memorise „heroes’“ sidekicks.

Debbie mutters something about cross-species breeding – she’s been spending entirely too much time by the Overgrowth – and Dulcia leans forward to ask the arguably much more important question:

„Sooo, did the dwarven anatomy carry over? Especially, y’know,“ she drops her voice to a whisper, for the sake of common decency all around, „down there.“

Evie chokes on her wine.

When she recovers from her coughing fit, she answers: „I wouldn’t know–“ with a barely contained sneer.

„Why, saving yourself till marriage, princess?“ teases Dulcia. It’s just so fun seeing her all flustered.

„You had no such sensibilities the last time you visited,“ adds Dani with a small smirk; Evie’s blush only grows in the resulting catcalls that Dulcia lets go on for entirely too long. And that she might be participating in, just a little bit.

„Anyway,“ Evie finally manages to get a word in, „I was wondering, Mal wanted some colour bombs, could we use your stuff? I don’t feel like tracking down the Faciliers.“

Dulcia clicks her tongue. Colour bombs are distasteful, but the people do need to visit the salon after, so honestly, it’s fifty fifty: Meanwhile, Evie offers an explanation no one asked for: 

„You know, as a distraction for the pirates.“

Distraction for the pirates, sure. Those crazy fuckers will probably enjoy it too.

Dulcia shrugs her shoulders: „Fine. As long as you pay for it.“

„Didn’t expect anything less.“

„A distraction, you say?“ new voice asks, Ivy de Vil poised dramatically in the frame of the doors, „That’s gonna be fun.“

„We’re closed,“ Dulcia informs her. This girl, honestly.

„Are you, though.“

She walks over, swaying her hips entirely too much, and drops a haphazardly tied bundle of cash notes into Dulcia’s hand.

„I’ve changed my mind,“ announces Dulcia, „What do you want?“

„I need new manicure,“ says Ivy with a theatrical whine, flashing her nails to the audience and earning sympathetic coos in return, „See?“

„What a tragedy,“ deadpans Dulcia, „Do join us.“

Ivy immediately flops down, stealing Evie’s wine in the process.

„Oh,“ she notes, almost as an afterthought, „Diego’s at the port now. He’ll kill you if you get any of those wild colours on him, by the way.“

Evie nods with overemphasized seriousness and Dulcia drinks – seems like she will be hearing about port drama today anyway.

[beifong-brainrot]

I read about your "Avatar Bolin AU" and I got curious. And what would the end of season 3 and the whole season 4 be like? (+2 season, if you want, although Bolin would really not trust Unalaq-) Is Bolin still poisoned? Who is working for Kuvira now? By the way, I really liked your idea and the idea of ​​"Someone is the Avatar, and Korra is not"

Huh that's actually very interesting. I think B3 would still go similarly, though I'm also 50/50 if Zaheer could even carry Bolin's beefy boy ass like he did with Korra.

I feel like our short king would struggle lmao

Though if we really wanna divert from canon, I can see Bolin being more receptive to Zaheer's rethoric due to having seen what the Earth Queen's rule has done to his own family and also because of his own upbringing disillusioning him towards governments and law enforcement, since republic city officilas apparently did fuck all about the many orphans.

It could provide some interesting drama between Bolin and Mako who probably might make a bond with Lin. Not sure if Mako would become a detective in this AU, probably feeling a lot of need to protect his brother.

Also the conversation between Zaheer and Bolin would be so funny.

Zaheer: we want to help the common people by removing leaders from power

Bolin: ok. Yay ❤️

Zaheer:*whispering to P'Li* what do I do now

I would also like to still see Bolin and Ghazan have that weird bantery mentor/student thing and maybe even expand on it.

LET THEM BE HOMIES LET GHAZAN BE BOLIN'S COOL WEIRD CRIMINAL UNCLE IT'S ALL I ASK

So I could see the Red Lotus storyline going completely differently depending on how much the Red Lotus would change their approach to Bolin. Since I'm not even sure they got arrested in this AU bcs in canon they were captured during their attempt at kidnapping Korra. So they might be mildly saner in this AU lol, or at least be more understanding of Bolin since it's not like he ever "had a chance" to join them.

It would also be an interesting look into them and how dedicated they are to their ideology. Since they wanted to kill the Avatar in order to stop the Avatar Cycle but Bolin being an Avatar more open to their ideas might cause them to think more about this. Maybe they'd even be divided with, for example, Zaheer trying to continue the mission of poisoning Bo, while maybe Ghazan would feel more conflicted and perhaps even consider other options.

So perhaps Bolin still gets poisoned but this time Ghazan (and maybe Ming-Hua, depending on who she sides with) would try and help him.

I imagine Bolin would still need a lot of time, just like Korra, to recover and he would be in the South Pole a lot. I imagine Mako would be with him, as his brother. So would Korra, whom I imagine as Katara's apprentice in this AU. I would love to imagine some Katara and Bolin interactions bcs I think that they're actual pretty similar in many aspects.

Katara and Bolin paralleling each other

Discussion of Mako and Sokka's similarities vs Bolin and Katara's similarities.

Long ass post on these two pairs of siblings

I think Bolin would be more willing to accept other people's help than Korra, so he could recover emotionally more quickly, bit I think he'd still be very wary and more insecure in himself. Maybe he'd really fall wayyy to deep into his coping mechanism and rely on people directing him even more than usual and the plot of B4 is him finally becoming more independent.

I actually find Asami working with Kuvira very interesting. I don't think she'd work directly under Kuvira, but she could be sort of a business partner, supplying weapons and mechas to the Earth Empire. And then having a crisis when those weapons are eventually used against Repuvlic City because she should rethink being a war profiteer tbh.

I also think it would be interesting to see Bolin interact with Kuvira in an AU where she hasn't been manipulating him for years. Since he has a more personal connection to the Earth Kingdom than Korra. Also, since I want Wei to be Bolin's romantic interest in this AU (bcs I'm me), I think this would provide an interesting extra layer of drama lol. Let Wei radicalise Bolin against Kuvira it's the right thing to do.

I honestly really like this AU bcs Bolin would be a fascinating Avatar due to his past.

And I love Korra as the avatar but girlie deserves a break lol.

[straycalamities]

I NEED to know more about ace. I'm home of sexual for him

hee hee :-)))))))) okay have a lil summary rundown of the Lad

name: Ace Dale Miller age: (typically) early 30s pronouns: he/him identity: transgender panromantic asexual man birthday: June 7 height: 5'10" (177cm)

how he dresses: always nice, always sharp. any dishevelment is calculated. wears either real designer or fake designer depending on where he's at financially. typically blazers, loafers, and slacks, but will go e3 announcer w a tshirt, brand new sneakers, and jeans (underneath a blazer) sometimes. yknow. casual. sleeps in tshirt and sleep pants

alignment: (typically) true neutral religious beliefs: nonpracticing Christian (barely above the atheist line) hobbies: darts, flirting, mobile games, cards (games and tricks), being right and flaunting it habits/quirks: pops his gum, chews his food obnoxiously even while talking, fidgeting with pens (and other objects), drumming, leg bouncing likes: money, luxury, fame, attention, bars, casinos, winning, pop music, comedy, musicals, gold, the number 7, praise, compliments, did i say attention?, being catered to, travel, being right dislikes: being touched, his upbringing/hometown, certain drunks, being by himself, boredom, being quiet, extreme violence, being dirty, being ignored, physical labor, creepy crawlies fears: being irrelevant, growing old, ending up anything like his father, certain bugs aspirations: be so fucking rich and famous skills: silver-tongue, sleight-of-hand, street-wise, poker face, speeches, singing, thinking things through from a social/human standpoint, kinetic learner secrets: lol like...everything that isn't already on the surface. he's a very private person

typically carries: wallet, phone, keys, caffeine gum, deck of cards

personality traits: snarky, fake-smiler, egotistical, charming, charismatic, sarcastic, doesn't believe in scenarios where he'll lose, classist, hyperbolic, deflective, bratty, large ham, drama queen, people-smart, private, optimistic when it comes to himself, braggart, loud, stubborn, coward, smug, must be on top/right/the best, tsundere (once u reach that layer. honestly there's just a whole new slew of personality traits every time you break through one of his layers)

background summary: i wont get too into it bc :) secrets. but he's a rags-to-riches self-made man. forced to grow up way too early and clawed his way to the top. daddy issues.

favorite color: gold favorite band: 3Oh!3 favorite crooner: Frank Sinatra favorite music genres: pop, jazz, swing favorite games: poker, bejeweled, candy crush favorite food: deluxe cheeseburgers favorite drink: apple juice favorite movie: (uh...this is actually hard bc we wouldnt have the same taste at ALL so i havent seen...most of the movies i think he'd like LOLLL i'll just say Mean Girls because he does like it but i dont think it's his ultra fav)

[klinefelterrible]

My brain when I'm watching porn: it's your guy with a penis time I guess. I mean you're the guy and this is your penis so rub it and cum and let's get over it okay? Yeah I know this girl looks great and you'd rather be her than him fucking her but what can you do? Oh just cum already and go do something

My brain when I see Regina/Emma post: FULL LESBIAN MODE ON

My dick when I see Regina/Emma post: I'm here but I don't belong anywhere near. I'm just attached to you and you find it hot and that's how I react okay? Don't mind me, I'm just a minor trousers inconvenience, so to speak

My sanity when I see Emma/Regina post: SO BASICALLY WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS YET ANOTHER WAY FOR YOU TO LOSE TRACK OF TIME ON STUFF THAT IS BASICALLY A GROUP HALLUCINATION

My creativity: Oh, oh, oh! Write some more incorrect quotes you love so much!

My male part of the brain: I'll just, you know, control breathing or, I don't know, just be here so you don't fall from the chair or something

My female part of the brain: AND SO EMMA GRABBED HER BOOB AND SHE'S A DORK AND REGINA IS LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHERIFF SWAN AND EMMA WAS LIKE DO YOU SEE THE RED JACKET I'M THE LESBIAN AUTHORITY HERE AND I NEED YOU MA'AM TO STRIP, WE'RE SEARCHING FOR THE EXPLOSIVES AND THIS BUTT IS THE BOMB

My male part of the brain: isn't that a Brooklyn 99 reference?

My female part of the brain: shut the fuck up Peralta, we're working here!

My creativity: I'm fine

My dick: ZzzZzZ I can sleep on attention

My brain: so basically you feel aroused but in a gay way towards two adult women and you're not happy with the whole dick thing... But for the record I didn't choose it for you, it's genetics and not very good ones

My genes: Brrrr XXY error shut the fuck up XXY cough cough

My creativity: everyone shut the fuck up we're doing something! So Emma is wearing this red jacket of course and Regina says something dry and Emma LOSES HER MIND AND SAYS THAT SHE LOVES HER AND REGINA ALLOWS EMMA TO JUST UNWRAP HER FROM CLOTHING AND BURY HER HEAD BETWEEN HER BUTTCHEEKS AND

My male brain: sorry I, uh—

My creativity: I get it, you and your dick just need to be a part of everything, you drama queen bitches

Male brain&dick: sorry

Creativity: I'm sure if we were a girl we'd bury our face in both of their asses and no one could say shit

Male and female brain parts: yeah, probably, I guess it's logical, since you're pansexual now and sort of an egg or maybe even already trans but not really you're kind of psycho and weirdo so probably

My female brain: you would just be a weird girl probably

My male brain: always on the pill, high school millionaire from dick sucking, brrr

My dick: I'm alive for you I'm awake because of you I'm alive

My female brain: would you shut the fuck up

My dick: you guys mentioned you being a girl and sucking dick I just instantly went into a horny teenager mode and well it's your fault not mine

My creativity: how about all of you just let me work and we'll deal with these thoughts when I'm asleep and you're both in charge of self-hatred when you're tidying up or cooking or doing something feminine with this masculine body

My self-hatred: bonjour

My dick: I don't feel like self-hate was a way to deal with these feelings

My female brain: it's because you're a dick

My male brain: he's just a dick and it's mainly my fault because I'm a dick too

My creativity: is this some kind of way to stop writing or could we just pause all that and let me finish the scene, please?

My dick: okay

My self-hatred: I don't even wanna be here

My female brain: Carry on

My male brain: I'll try to control myself

My creativity: And so Regina looks at woods and sees green and says FUCK YEAH I LOVE GREEN and Emma says I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU HATE GREEN and Regina is like I HATE GREEN LIME JUICE BUT THIS IS NICE and Emma takes out blanket from under her SexyAsFuckRedJacket™ and Regina kneels on it and Emma caresses her hair by the ear and yeah we can stop here we all know how it's going to end

My phone: Would you like to start BATTERY SAVING

[yesterdayiwrote]

I don’t know where to stand on the whole MM- prince Harry chaos, not even from UK so it might be why it’s even more confusing for me, but it seems to be a situation where everyone sucks here or something along those lines… their latest stunts are bit odd to me though

This might get a bit long so I’ll put it under a cut because most people won’t gaf I’m sure!…

I’m a bit younger than Harry and I remember what happened with his mum and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, and the way his grief was publicised and living in an already mental situation I’m sure was fucking horrendous for him and did him untold damage.

I’m relatively ambivalent towards the royal family. I liked the Queen, I quite like Princess Anne, I don’t hate any of them, I’m not a raging royalist either. I think they get born into this ridiculousness and try and make it work for them and actually it’s probably a fkn miserable existence. I completely understand the other view as well though and how they anger people. Prince Andrew is fucking horrific and it’s a disgrace that he’s allowed to carry on without a care in the world. It’s very weird that anyone should be ‘born’ into a seat of such great power.

Were the press vile to Meghan when she first joined the royal family? Yes. Have they been vile to every woman that’s joined the royal family? Also yes. I think they view it as some sick misogynistic hazing ritual and if you pass you’re welcomed in to the fold. I think that too is pretty horrific, but I also don’t judge the women who’ve gone along with it for a quiet life. 90% of the Royal dramas stem from the men and yet it’s the women that get the shit end of the stick. Every. Single. Time.

I think for me, the one area that really annoys me with Harry is so much of his ‘activism’ is entirely self serving. He’s not angry at the concept of royalty and the untold privilege it affords him, most of his grievances have been that the untold privilege hasn’t served him to the full extent that he feels it should.

He courts the media in order to lambast the media. He wants publicity to spread a message about privacy…. A large amount of his messaging feels confused and contradictory. He’s one of the most privileged humans in the world, still. He didn’t walk away because that made him uncomfortable. He walked away because he had gripes that other people were getting more privileges than he was. He thought he was owed more than what he had.

And that’s not to say that his family shouldn’t have treated him better. They are as dysfunctional as they come for sure, which in someways is the most ‘normal’ thing about them?

This latest incident just feels… odd? It’s wrong they were followed by paparazzi when they didn’t want to be and I’m sure he’s more sensitive to situations like that than most given what happened to his mum. That being said, I think it’s fair to say that his spokesman used overly-sensationalised language in his first statement and it’s hard to see that it wasn’t by design, and if it wasn’t then it feels slightly…in poor taste?

I think Harry has a lot of unresolved issues surrounding a lot of different areas and I don’t think it’s as simple as ‘he’s just a fucking idiot’. I think there’s mistakes been made on both sides and an awful lot of stubbornness has prevented them from reaching any kind of resolution.

They way it’s turned into some tribal tit for tat, that largely centres on making Meghan and Kate the punching bags is just ridiculous and the online discourse is so fkn toxic. Grown adults filling Internet forums spilling bile about people they’ve never met, on both sides… just… fkn give it a rest?

[comfy-sofa]

Should I do an episode rant today? I think I'm just gonna reblog others instead.

Edit: I have too many thoughts going through my soupy brain right now so fuck it RANT TIME

Ok, I had a theory for episodes 6-7 that Livio would appear but not Razlo as a sort of test subject. He fails his mission, gets called back by the EOM, and the next time we see Livio he'll be bigger/buffer and THEN we'll see Razlo. Well, I was right that the EOM would get him I guess...

Seeing the return of the animation for Wolfwood/Livio's memories is always good, give me more. Plus the fact that we're slowly getting some memories from Livio is good

RAZLO I SEE YOU BITCH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUUUUUU AGAIN he even looked like he had his older design too! PLEASE I BEG

Also when it comes to the L/R's mask, I'm starting to think the purpose is to suppress BOTH L/R making them easier to control and manipulate. Like the moment that thing breaks completely is when we get to see Razlo in action

I honestly like that Vash is a lot more physical/combat based in this. I feel like it adds to his "life is sacred" mindset and allows him to have more control when it comes to being in fights (I hope that makes sense)

WHERE IS BRILLIANT DYNAMITES NEON???? ORANGE IM IN YOUR WALLS also Kite isn't here either kinda missed the banter between him and Vash

That little photoshoot with the bad lads and Meryl was funny/cute more moments like this please

Also for this scene I was kinda confused on why Vash was inside the sandsteamer. I kinda have theory that he was going to the old control panel so he can stop the steamer that way but got sidetracked with Meryl and Roberto being there. So he decided to protect them first and get them out of harms way (I knew you cared about them Vash<3)

Legato just being a drama queen and just activating a WHOLE ASS CANON??? Speaking of the Canon WHY THE FUCK DOES THE STEAMER HAVE A CANON??? I'm at a loss with this one y'all

ZAZIE DOING BUG SHIT YESSSSS. If they fuck up L/R Zazie is going to be my new favorite (lol they always were)

I'm sorry but it's probably due to how serious everything was for the past 6 episodes why do they think they can carry this (once again) LARGE-ASS CANON??? Honestly, it made me laugh (no wonder Vash's prosthetic cracked like sIR)

THE PLANT...I kinda have mixed feelings on. While I like the design and how it unfurled itself (I guess...you can say...that plant bloomed...) but I was kinda hoping for a bit more y'know? Who knows maybe there's more to this version that we haven't seen yet

THE PLANT MARKINGS ON VASH 100/10 GOOD SHIT. And Meryl's reaction to it? Perfect now you know why ya boy looks the way he does (like y'all the markings are beautiful please I NEED MORE)

Speaking of Meryl YES BBYGIRL STAND YOUR GROUND, plus thank fuck they talked about Jenora Rock and Tonis losing his arm. Like please let Meryl have her character development so people can see that this girl is ALSO IMPORTANT TO THE STORY

Ok, I think I got everything. I'll edit if I forgot something but I'm looking forward to the next episode! I am scared of which backstory they're gonna use for Vash and Knives and please let it be me TriMax because the 98' anime one was one of the few things I despised.

[lewis-winters]

Ok, adding a few more because @ranichi17 reminded me of one film and then I started remembering others and--

gah. I just love Philippine cinema, guys. Anyway.

Pisay: The Film (2007) - This film follows a group of young students who enter the premier Philippine Science High School (Tagalog: Mataas na Paaralan ng Plipinas sa Agham; or commonly known as Pisay) during the politically volatile years of the Philippines in the '80s. The students are guided by their teacher Ms. Casas, as they discover the world outside the four corners of the school and the chaos of the Marcos dictatorship. Available on MOOV'S film catalog.

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (2005) - A coming-of-age drama set in the slums of Manila that follows Maximo "Maxi" Oliveros, an effeminate gay boy torn between his loyalty to his family and his first love for a young cop. Oh, this is a personal favorite of mine.

The following aren't technically period dramas. But Duterte's War on Drugs campaign deserves a spot of its own, I think, as a distinct time in Contemporary Philippine History. So here are some films released during the early to mid 2010s that I think really highlight the chaos of that time.

Posas (2012) - Detailing the deep and festering corruption of the Philippine National Police (PNP), this film follows Jestoni "Jess" Biag, a petty thief who makes the grave mistake of being caught. TW: violence. so much violence.

On the Job (2013) - A neo-noir crime thriller that follows two hit men who are temporarily freed from prison to carry out political executions, and two law enforcers tasked with investigating the drug-related murder case connected to the prison gun-for-hire business. TW: violence. so much violence.

Honor Thy Father (2015) - The film is about a family who find themselves in a Ponzi scheme. Edgar and Kaye seek to pay their family's debt to Kaye's co-parishioners. The couple fears that the parishioners may hurt their daughter. TW: violence. so much violence

Sunday Beauty Queen (2016) - a documentary film directed that follows a group of expatriate domestic workers in Hong Kong as they prepare to take part in an annual beauty pageant. TW: discussions of abuse against Filipino domestic workers abroad.

Die Beautiful (2016) - The story of Trisha, a trans woman who suddenly dies after she is crowned winner of a gay beauty pageant; and her friends who transform her into a different person on each night of her wake in a different location as a way to avoid being buried as a man by her father. It also tackles her whole life when she felt and dealt with problems and successes on living as a Filipina transgender as well as controversy in her family. TW: rape, discussions of rape.

BUYBUST (2018) - Centers on a team summoned by the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) to conduct a drug bust in a Manila slum. Realizing the mission is poorly executed, the team find themselves trapped by settlers and attempts to escape by fighting their way out. The film has been viewed as a social commentary on the controversial Philippine Drug War initiated by the Duterte government. Available on Netflix, last I checked. TW: once again. so fucking violent. also police corruption.

I was just curious but do you have any recs for period dramas about the philippines? I want to expand my period drama watching and im not quite sure where to start

Oh, the monster you've unleashed. YES I do have so many period dramas from and about the Philippines. Unfortunately, not all of them might be accessible to you if you're outside of the Philippines. Some of them are found on Amazon Prime, Netflix, and MUBI though. I'll make sure to put a lil note next to each film if they are. Also! these vary in genre (meaning: not all of them are war films, and some of these are horror films-- because this is me we're talking to, heh). I also have copies of some of these and will make a lil note next to each film if it's available for sharing, though I'll only give the link via DM. Please note, however, that they are all either in Tagalog, Bisaya, and/or other local Philippine Languages and not all of them have subtitles!

I also have very nuanced relationships with all these films, since Philippine History was my undergrad of choice. But to keep this post as brief as possible, I'm not going to talk about them at length. Though I will be including trigger warnings. Also note... some of these movies kinda suck HAAHAHAHA but I had way too much fun watching them so like. Please don't tell me they suck, please. I love them too much.

Also tagging @emmylynnaa because I promised her a similar list.

This is sorted by eras in Philippine History. Enjoy! (under the cut because it got long):

Spanish Occupation Era (1565 to 1898)

GomBurZa (2023) – A film following the GomBurZa, the three native Filipino Roman Catholic priests Gomez, Burgos, and Zamora executed during the latter years of the Spanish colonial era. TW: period typical violence. Furthermore, this is a Jesuit produced film so like. Once again. Take it with a grain of salt.

Jose Rizal (1998) - Jose Rizal's life and works are recounted through a series of non-linear flashbacks which reflect on various aspects of his life - as writer, propagandist, lover, friend, brother, doctor, and the man that inspired a revolution. Available on MUBI. TW: depiction of sexual assault by a priest. I also have a love-hate relationship with this film because on one hand, literally shaped my love of history. On the other hand, it is the MOST idealistic depiction of Jose Rizal ever + very historically inaccurate in many places, please watch this with a grain of salt.

Maria Clara at Ibarra (2022 – 2023) – A series about a girl from the 21st century who is magically transported into Jose Rizal’s famous novels Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo (you know, the novels that helped spark the Filipino Revolution against the Spanish). The synopsis sounds cheesy but trust me, it’s very good. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: rape, abuses of the Catholic church, period typical violence, abuses of Spanish colonialists. A personal favorite—the costumes? Divine. And the character arcs are also really lovely. Helps you understand Philippine contemporary culture, too.

Katipunan: TV Mini Series (2013) – A mini-series depicting the creation of the Kataastaasan Kagalang-galang na Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (or the KKK—no, not the white supremacist group; that’s unfair, by the way, we did it first), the revolutionary organization founded in 1892 by Filipino Nationalists against Spanish Colonialization. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: depictions of rape aftermath by Spanish soldiers, period typical violence, torture, graphic depictions of a corpse. This is a personal favorite of mine.

Hele sa Hiwagang Hapis/A Lullaby to the Sorrowful Mystery (2016) - Andrés Bonifacio is celebrated as the father of the Philippines Revolution against Spanish colonial rule. This eight-hour epic examines this myth, undertaking an expedition into history through various interwoven narrative threads, held together by an exploration of the individual’s role in history. Available on Mubi. TW: it is literally eight hours long. But that’s Lav Diaz for you. I love him, but oh my god is he an acquired taste.

Ang Kababaihan ng Malolos (2014) - The saga of the 20 Filipino women who petitioned for the opening of a school in a time when women weren’t given the chance to do so.

Ganito Kami Noon... Paano Kayo Ngayon? (1976) – Set during the end of Spanish colonization and the start of American colonization. After his mother's death, the simple-minded and naïve Kulas (Christopher De Leon) begins his much-awaited trip to Manila. On his way to Manila, he mindlessly takes on the mission of retrieving a friar's son and bringing him to the friar's residence.

Mallari (2023) - A horror film chronicling the deeds of the first recorded serial killer in the Philippines. This film spans decades, all the way up to present day. It's kinda stupid. Like. Really stupid. That's ok. We watch it because we want to see Piolo Pascual and JC Santos covered in blood. TW: oh my god so many bodies and so much gore.

Filipino-American War and America Occupation (1899 – 1940s) (this era has the best films, actually, if you want a place to start and start strong? start here)

Amigo (2010) - A local leader of a small Filipino barangay must decide whether to keep the peace with the American troops occupying his village or join the insurgency with his brother and son. TW: racism, sexual harassment, graphic depictions of corpses, gore, period typical violence.

Heneral Luna (2015) - Set during the Philippine-American war, Heneral Luna follows the life of one of Philippine History's most brilliant soldier, General Antonio Luna, as he tries to lead his countrymen against colonial masters new and old, and to rise above their own raging disputes to fulfill the promise of the Philippine Revolution. Available on Netflix. TW: short scene depicting the aftermath of sexual assault, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, one of my favorites. I have so many happy memories of this film + the fandom it birthed! I miss it sometimes.

Angelito (2018) – The short film that bridges both Heneral Luna and Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral, depicting the brothers Manuel and Jose Bernal – Antonio Luna’s aides-de-camp – and their youngest brother Angel, two days before the General’s assassination. This film you can find on Youtube!

Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2019) – The sequel of Heneral Luna, this film follows the story of Gregorio 'Goyo' del Pilar, one of the youngest Generals during the Philippine-American War who fought in the historic Battle of Tirad Pass. Available on Netflix. TW: short scenes of torture, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, a personal favorite for the same reasons stated above. Though it’s not as strong as Heneral Luna, I gotta say.

Ang Larawan (2017) - In a musical tale about standing together against materialism, two impoverished sisters anguish over whether or not to sell a painting, the final masterpiece by their recluse father. A bitter struggle for survival against betrayal set in pre-World War II Manila. A personal favorite, oh my god. This film. Oh my god, this film.

World War 2 and its aftermath (1940 – 1950)

Quezon’s Game (2018) - In 1938, Philippine President Manuel L. Quezon, military adviser Dwight D. Eisenhower, along with other notable figures, set out to rescue Jewish refugees fleeing Nazi Germany. Quezon simultaneously deals with a relapse of tuberculosis. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: talk of genocide and short scenes depicting the murder of Jewish people by the Nazis.

Tatlong Taong Walang Dios (1976) - A woman falls in love with a Japanese soldier during the Japanese Occupation in the Philippines; the whole town turns against her. TW: rape. Think Malena.

Oro, Plata, Mata (1982) - Set in the Philippine island of Negros during World War II, it tells the story of how two hacendero families cope with the changes brought about by the war. TW: rape

Kusina (2016) – Her kitchen. The silent witness to the life and love of Juanita. It is her sanctuary, the place where she creates dishes for her family, friends, even enemies and strangers. Through cooking, she gets to know the people around her. TW: violent child birth, death of mother in child birth, sexual harassment by Japanese soldiers. This spans multiple decades, all the way up to Martial Law.

In My Mother’s Skin (2023) - Stranded in the Philippines during World War II, a young girl finds that her duty to protect her dying mother is complicated by her misplaced trust in a beguiling, flesh-eating fairy. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: body horror, gore, explicit depictions of a corpse, period typical violence.

Markova: Comfort Gay (2000) – A coming of age drama film loosely based on the life of Walter Dempster Jr., the last surviving Filipino “comfort gay” (male sex slaves for the Imperial Japanese Army) from World War II. TW: CSA, wartime systemic rape, rape.

Comfort Women: A Cry for Justice (1994) – The story of how two sisters and the rest of the women of Sta. Monica are forced into sex slavery by Japanese soldiers during World War 2. TW: wartime systemic rape, rape, and period typical violence.

Seklusyon (2016) - In 1947, a group of deacons (aspiring priests) on their last week of training are sent to a remote monastery to live in seclusion for seven days to protect them from the devil, who on the last few days of training attempts to break the will of deacons to make them reconsider their choice of becoming priests. During their seclusion, a little girl named Anghela, believed by locals to be a living saint because of her healing abilities, appears at the monastery seeking refuge. Available on Amazon. TW: pedophilia, gore, body horror, Catholicism, religious horror.

Corazon: Ang Unang Aswang (2012) - A psychological thriller film detailing the psychological breakdown of a woman struggling with infertility in post-war Philippines. If you want to see women go feral, this is fun.

Martial Law (1970 – 1980) (actually, you know what? I lied. This era is the era with the best films. God, these are CLASSICS and are the ones that’ll help you understand contemporary Philippine culture the most; definitely start here)

Manila, sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag (1975) - Júlio Madiaga, a 'provinciano', arrives in Manila to search for his beloved, Ligaya. TW: coerced sex work, sexual abuse. Once again, a Filipino cinema classic.

Insiang (1976) - After a teenager is raped by her mother's boyfriend, she sets out to exact revenge on anyone who has hurt her. TW: I mean. It says it right there. Though it’s not actually shown on screen, it is very heavily implied. She doesn’t die in the end, if you’re wondering.

Dekada ’70 (2002) - A middle-class Filipino family struggles to survive in the era of dictatorship. This is a fucking classic in Filipino cinema. Available on MUBI. TW: sexual harrassment, discussion of torture, depictions of wounds and beatings, period typical violence. Martial Law was rough.

Aparisyon (2012) – A psychological drama film set in early 1970s, where the story about the nuns in the period immediately preceding the declaration of martial law by Ferdinand Marcos. The film’s director, Isabel Sandoval, is a transgender woman and an absolute visionary. Her other films Senorita (2011) and Lingua Franca (2019) are also very good, please check it out. All films are available for streaming through the Criterion Channel. TW: rape, religious trauma, period typical violence, Catholicism.

Lihis (2013) - Set in the 70’s during the darkest hours of Philippine History, we follow the story of two young NPA warriors who find themselves entangled in a web of frustration, despair and victory as they fight not only for democracy but also their love for each other. Available on MUBI. TW: Infidelity.

Barber’s Tales (2014) - In a rural town in the Philippines during the Marcos dictatorship, the newly widowed Marilou inherits the town's only barbershop from her husband- a business that has been passed down by generations of men in her husband's family. With no other means of support, she musters the courage to run the barbershop.

Dahling Nick (2015) - Dahling Nick is a docu-drama exploring the life and works of National Artist for Literature Nick Joaquin, who only accepted the National Artist Award on the condition that the Marcos administration release a well-known writer who was being unjustly detained during Martial Law. I love Nick Joaquin. He’s shaped my understanding of the Magical Realist genre far more than any of his contemporaries have. This film is notoriously difficult to get your hands on, so I suggest going to read his anthology by Penguin Classics called the Tropical Gothic instead!

Respeto (2017) - Hendrix is a poor aspiring rapper who wants to make a name for himself in the underground rap battle scene and gain respect in the community. After attempting to rob a second-hand bookstore in the neighborhood, he is discovered by the owner, Doc, an old poet with a haunted past as a dissident. Not necessarily period, but definitely has its roots in Martial Law.

Liway (2018) – A film about the kip, a young boy growing up in a prison as the son of anti-Marcos dissident Cecilia Flores-Oebanda, better known as Commander Liway, during the waning days of the Marcos dictatorship. It is currently streaming on Youtube!

The Kingmaker (2019) - is a 2019 documentary film written and directed by Lauren Greenfield, featuring the political career of Imelda Marcos with a focus on the Marcos family's efforts to rehabilitate the family's image and to return to political power, including her plans to see her son, Bongbong, become President of the Philippines, and the alliance that Bongbong and Imee Marcos established with Rodrigo Duterte in his bid to win the 2016 Philippine presidential election. Available on Youtube! if outside of the Philippines, use VPN.

1980s – 2000s Philippines

Misteryo sa Tuwa (1984) - The fortunes of three impoverished friends and their families abruptly change after an airplane crashes in a nearby mountain.

Alpha Kappa Omega Batch ’81 (1982) – A psychological drama film depicting the titular fraternity's harsh initiation of new batch members as seen through the eyes of pre-med student Sid Lucero. TW: hazing, torture, psychological torture. It’s fucked up, actually.

Himala (1982) – During a total eclipse Elsa, a young girl from rural Philippines, allegedly witnesses an apparition of the Virgin Mary on top of the hill where, as an infant, she was found and adopted by Saling. Said visions change her life and cause a sensation hysteria in a poor, isolated northern village in the midst of drought. TW: rape, religious fanaticism, religious trauma.

Adela (2008) - The story of Adela, which takes place in the span of one day, is a heartbreaking story of a woman who longs for the company of her loved ones. This isn’t actually period. This film just breaks my heart. And of course, it has acting legend Anita Linda in it. How could I not recommend it?

Now Showing (2008) - Rita is named after a famous American movie star whom her late, former actress grandmother once adored. She lives in one of Manila’s oldest districts with her mother and aunt. Years later, she is still the same girl enamoured with television, now tending to her aunt’s stall selling pirated DVDs.

Elegy to the Visitor from the Revolution (2011) - A woman from the end of the 19th century visits modern day Philippines and observes three interwoven stories: that of a prostitute, a group of criminals and a musician. This is another Lav Diaz one. It’s long.

K’na The Dreamweaver (2014) - K’na is a young woman coming into her own in the mountains of South Cotabato, where the T’boli live, overlooking the majestic and mystical Lake Sebu. She is part of the royal family of the South bank of the lake, part of the clan that was banished from the North Bank centuries ago after what the elders call The Great Betrayal. At a young age, K’na, is trained in the art of weaving the T’bolit’nalak. The design of the t’nalak fabric comes from the visions granted by Fu Dalu, the goddess of abaca, only to deserving women who become dreamweavers. K’na’s grandmother, Be Lamfey, is the village’s last master dreamweaver. When Be Lamfey dies, the gift of dreamweaving is passed to K’na and her father, LobongDitan, decides to put an end to the warring clans of Lake Sebu once and for all by arranging a marriage between K’na and Kagis, the heir to the throne of North bank. Meanwhile, K’na has fallen in love with Silaw, a childhood friend whose family supplies the finest abaca fibers to the dreamweavers. Silaw leaves love messages for her by tying bits of abaca thread to a tree outside K’na’s window. As the marriage grows near, a revolution brews among those who do not believe in the union of the two royal clans.

Smaller and Smaller Circles (2017) - Two Jesuit priests, Gus Saenz and Jerome Lucero perform forensic work to solve the mystery revolving around the murders of young boys in Payatas, one of Metro Manila's biggest slum areas. While dealing with the systematic corruption of the government, church, and the elite, the two priests delve into criminal profiling, crime scene investigation, and forensic analysis to solve the killings, and eventually, find the murderer. Available on Netflix. TW: child death, talk of child sexual abuse at the hands of the Catholic Church and at the hands of teachers, graphic depictions of a corpse, film also triggering to folks who suffer from claustrophobia.

Billie and Emma (2018) – An LGBT coming of age story set in the mid-1990s featuring two teenaged girls Billie and Emma as they grapple with topics such as sexuality, family, religion, unplanned pregnancy, and the uncertainty of the future.

[astroboots]

Roadtrip

Summary: You and Frankie go on a roadtrip and Santiago tags along.

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Frankie x female reader (you) x Santi

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: really explicit sex, anal play, heavy m/m dynamics, twinge of angst if you squint? imagined voyeurism... is that even a kink? Idk... At this point you guys know what I'm all about.

Homesick Masterlist | Homecoming Universe | Astroboot’s Masterlist

It’s a weekend getaway to Frankie’s late uncle’s cabin by the lakeside that you had been meaning to do for months, just a small weekend trip with the two.

Then Pope comes to town, without any warning or any preamble save for a text the night before his flight, asking if the two of you were in town—the way he does. And there was no way that the two of you would leave town for the weekend without him when he was visiting. 

God knows how many months or even years it would take before he’d be back home next. So you take him with you. 

It’s a seven hour drive to South Carolina, but only if you manage to escape the worst of the morning traffic. It means the three of you wake up at the crack of dawn and while you are all in agreement that this was sensible, come morning as the alarm clocks go off you both treat Frankie like he’s a war criminal for dragging you out of bed. 

As soon as Pope steps out of the front door, he is already bitching about how there’s no need to wake up this fucking early because, “fucking Christ, Fish, they didn’t even wake us up this early in the fucking Army. I thought this was a vacation, why am I waking up in the middle of the fucking night?”

Then he’s cursing Frankie out in three languages, bitching about how he’s not even had time to have his first sip of coffee yet. 

Frankie ignores him in favor of throwing your weekender bags into the back of his truck. The man is being a drama queen and it’s too early for Frankie to find the patience and calm to deal with his smart mouth and multilingual insults. 

There’s a slow, clumsy sound of metal scraping against the front door, and it sounds like you’re struggling to lock it. You’re so bleary eyed, brain still in zombie-mode that your mind clearly has not properly paired up with your hands and feet—and yeah, Frankie feels a little bit bad about that. 

Especially when you approach the car and he can spot the way your feet are wobbling and swaying. 

“Vamos Cariño, let’s get in the car so we can get coffee on the way,” Pope hollers at you, without any regards for how his voice carries at this quiet hour. It’s enough to wake up the neihghbour’s Rottweiler that starts to bark from behind the neighbouring gate. 

As you approach the car, the tip of your shoe snags on the curb to the driveway. It is a split of a second, before you would have faceplanted on the curb. But even with his half-awake reflexes, Pope’s arm slings out in the last second to catch you by the waist. 

“Careful princesa,” Pope warns in that mock reverent tone, as he steadies you on your feet. “Let’s try not to get ourselves hurt first thing in the morning yeah? If you knock out your front teeth, we’ll have to take you to the hospital and then Frankie will have tortured us for nothing.” 

Smart ass. Think he’s so fucking funny. 

Pope’s hand comes to rest on your waist as he leads you to the backseat and Frankie almost wants to protest. Usually you always sit with him in the passenger seat, but half awake as you were, he doesn’t have the heart to make you get up when Pope’s already got you buckled you in. 

It also doesn’t help that Pope is clearly in a mood this morning, and Frankie knows the man well enough that it means he will pounce at any small opportunity to be petty. Frankie has no idea how he could possibly negotiate that you should sit next to him, without sounding like a petulant child and not have Pope make fun of him the whole of the weekend. 

So he lets it go. Sighing to himself as he prepares himself for the six hour car trip upstate. 

The silver lining is that he barely has to pull the car out of your block, before the quiet hum and low vibration from the motor has both you and Pope dead asleep in the car within minutes. It means that Frankie can pick his music without any quippy remarks from Pope about his taste, or worse, have Pope request that Frankie should put on Metallica at 03:26 in the morning. Despite Pope’s insistence otherwise, James Hatfield screeching through heavy drums and guitar is not ‘sleep music’. 

Frankie even takes the more scenic route, the Florida landscape whizzing by the window that quickly calms whatever irritable nerves he had from waking up so early. Occasionally, he steals glances in the rearview mirror to check the traffic behind him. Everytime he does, he catches the glimpse of the two of you within that small silver square. 

Your face is tucked into the crook of Santi’s neck, his cheek nestled against the top of your head, arm slung over your waist. It’s a serene, polaroid moment, that is perfectly framed within the mirror. Part of Frankie almost wants to stop and take a picture. Memorialise it somehow, because lately it feels like these moments are rarer and fewer in between. The stretches of time when Pope would come back home grows wider between each visit. 

From the highway, Frankie can see a road sign announcing there’s a pitstop rest and diner approaching at the next turn. 

Neither of you had eaten, and a diner is bound to have some coffee that Frankie could buy for the road when Pope eventually wakes up. 

Diner coffee is hardly known for its quality, and it is a surefire way to start Pope on another long-running rant the moment he wakes up. Frankie bets good money on that it will be something along the lines of “fuck this tastes like piss. It’s cold Frank.”

But Frankie knows that if he tried to take it away from him, Pope would inevitably pull the styrofoam cup back to his chest like it’s a family heirloom. You’d laugh at them both from the sidelines, then end up eating everyone’s portions of fries while they were distracted by bickering. It’s how these car trips always used to go. 

As Frankie takes the exit turn, and pulls into the parking lot of the diner, the car slowly comes to a stop. He takes one last look at the rear mirror before exiting. 

The two of you are still bundled up against each other. Something about it makes him stop. Instead of getting out of the car, he unbuckles and turns away from the mirror to observe you in full.

Frankie’s known Pope for over a decade by now, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen his expression this calm, awake or sleeping, as he is now, asleep with you nestled into his chest. For once Pope’s brows are not knitted in concentration or arched with challenge. His pink mouth slack, falling slightly open instead of stretched into a thin line— looking impossible soft. The whole of him seems unravelled instead of the tightly wounded ball of constant action that Frankie has grown so used to. 

There’s an errant lock of curls that falls into Santi’s brow, and Frankie’s fingers itch with intent, wanting to reach over and brush it back into place so as not to wake either of you. 

Before he has the chance to, Santi’s eyelids flutter open. 

“What time is it?” he murmurs, sleep-slurred. 

“Just past seven,” Frankie answers. “I was thinking of getting us some breakfast and coffee for the road.” 

Pope doesn’t complain, just rubs the sleep out of his eyes with the back of his hand. Then he untangles himself from you, taking care to not wake you, despite the fact that you’re a heavy sleeper. But as soon as his arms leave your shoulder, you whine at the loss of warmth. 

“Such a baby,” Pope teases, even though you’re sound asleep and can’t possibly hear him. Then he takes off his jacket and wraps it over your shoulder, tucking in the sides against you. There’s a gentleness to it that makes Frankie rub a hand across his chest over his shirt, as though he could rub away the strange ache that’s settled there at the sight. 

Not quite jealousy. Though he can’t exactly pinpoint what this is.

Frankie and Pope get out of the car, and there’s a silence that settles between them, as they walk up to the diner and wait for their orders. This is nothing new between them. The amount of time they have spent in each other’s wordless company over the years, over missions, over stake-outs, over long flights and treks. Frankie has always been grateful over the ease that settles without question when it’s silent between them. 

When they get back to the car with coffee and greased up diner breakfast wrapped up in paper bags, instead of settling in the back seat, Pope comes to the passenger’s side. 

Frankie shoots him a look, and Pope shrugs his shoulders with a casual smile. “She always gets to sit in the front, I have to take my opportunity when she’s knocked out.”

Frankie gets into the car, and Pope quickly follows, drawing the styrofoam cup to his mouth and taking a small sip. His face pulls into a disgusted grimace. 

“The coffee tastes like piss, Frank”

“Yeah? Should I take it then?” 

Frankie stretches out his hand and just as he predicted, Pope pulls away, hugging the small cup tightly to his chest like he’s guarding a treasure. It’s so predictable that Frankie can’t help but laugh. 

The truck barely makes it out of the parking lot, before Santi’s grubby hands are digging into the paper bag, grabbing a handful of fries that he shoves into his mouth. 

“You have to save some for her,” Frankie warns, “otherwise she’ll have your head.” 

“That monster always eats my fries, this is me collecting interest for the last couple of decades.” 

He reaches back into the paper bag grabbing another handful, and this time it spills onto the floor of the car. “Shit! The fries!” 

“Garcia, I swear to god. Do not make a mess of my truck.” 

“Don’t get your panties twisted Fish, calm the fuck down, I’ll clean it up now” Pope says, as he leans over to reach under his seat, planting a hand on Frankie’s thigh in the process. 

The weight of it scalds and burns, in a way Frankie doesn’t expect. The surprise of it makes him jolt, his knee jerking up, right foot kicking down on the pedal that lunges the car forward. There’s a loud honk, and it’s a split of a second as Frankie spots the oncoming car and swerves the steering wheel. 

His heart is pounding loudly in the sternum of his chest as he swears under his breath, then with his remaining wits, he pulls over to the side of the road. 

Before the car has even halted, Pope is already popping off. 

“Jesus fucking christ! What the hell! What the hell happened? Was there something on the road?” 

And Frankie isn’t entirely sure himself, mind grappling to fix together the pieces of what had caused him to lose control, why on earth he had reacted the way he did. 

From the rear mirror, he can see his his own reflection, face bright red and he doesn’t even know what the fuck is going on with him, but there’s a stirring heat in in his groin that has him growing a semi in his jeans. 

All the commotion has woken you up. He can see your eyes and how they are fixed downwards, glued to his seat. He follows your gaze to his knees, to where Santi’s left hand is still gripping his knee. 

Without saying a single word, he can see from the intent look in your eyes. 

You know why. 

You and Santiago are both awake for the rest of the trip. The two of you fight for dominance over the stereo:  play mindless road trip games that end up in verbal brawls and accusations of the other cheating; and you insist on stopping at every road-side attraction to Pope’s unenthusiastic moaning.  

Georgia’s best fried chicken.

Boa, we just ate. 

A giant ball of twine.

Please, no! It’s so tacky. 

A roadside stand selling peaches from the back of a truck? 

They’re overpriced! 

Frankie’s grateful for the distraction as he drives down the changing road of changing landscapes. It helps him take his mind off the minor incident that almost had him pummeling the truck head first towards another car on the highway.

He's supposed to be over this damn it. He's married now. He's made his choice. He has you and he’s happy, happier than he ever thought he deserved to be.

By the time you finally arrive at the cabin, Frankie is knackered. With all the distractions and roadstrips (that he happily indulged just to see you beaming with that smile) the trip ended up far longer than he had anticipated. 

You’re unpacking the bags, dumping the contents haphazardly against the bed, and he can’t help the way fatigue rises in his throat and he lets out a cartoonishly loud yawn. 

It’s so noisy that both you and Santi’s head turn towards him. 

“Wanna take a nap Frankie?” You ask. 

Pope grins, “A nap? It’s 2pm. Are you geriatric now? Fish, if you two wanna sneak away for a quickie, there are better excuses than that.” 

Except Frankie really had just meant to take a nap. He had been driving the whole of the morning while Pope at least got to catch some sleep in the backseat with you. 

A pillow flies across the room and lands smack on Santiago’s head. 

“Go and get some sleep Santiago,” you order. “We have dinner reservations in town at 7pm and if you fall asleep on me then, I swear to God.” 

That finally seems to shut Pope up. You’re the only one on this green earth that has the ability to do that. It doesn’t mean he goes entirely without protest though, Pope makes a big show of sighing as he picks up the pillow and walks towards his bedroom. But for all of his smart-ass comments about Frankie’s age, Pope’s snoring starts not two  minutes after his door closed. 

Frankie doesn’t know how he ends up here. Sitting at the edge of the small bed, his pants pulled down to his ankles. 

The window is open and from outside the cabin, there’s only the rustle of trees and chatter of tiny wildlife — Pope is in the other room, these wooden walls so thin that he can almost hear the man’s soft quiet snores. 

It had started innocently. 

You’d climbed into his lap. Smooth warm thighs straddling him, and it doesn’t take long, when you’re in that position, all of you pressed up against him. plump and soft and so fucking perfect. Of course his body is going to react. It’s a Pavlovian reaction at this stage. It doesn’t matter that you barely move at all. Just the heat of your legs pressed against him makes his cock hard and heavy with an urgent ache. Before he knows it he can feel the hard outline of his insistent erection pressed into the softness of your thighs. 

You let out a small quiet laughter against his forehead as you press your lips there. 

“That didn’t take much. You got yourself really worked up in the car didn’t you?”

For a moment he wonders if this is a test. Doesn’t dare to look you in the eyes to confirm. Then your fingers lift him by his chin, dragging his eyes to yours. There’s no judgment in your eyes. No anger. 

It’s just an acceptance as you press your soft lips to his. There’s soft hums and tender caresses of your hands along his thighs as you scoot down his body to nuzzle the slope of his belly. It’s almost sweet, the way you leave open mouthed kisses along the length of his cock as it twitches and jerks against your soft cheeks. Then you slide off the bed, your knees digging into the chipped wooden floor. 

He reaches for the pillow to make it a bit more comfortable for you, but you stop him, tugging at his wrists. 

“It’s fine baby, leave it.” 

Your soft hands and fingers are circled around the base of his cock, lips wrapping around the tip of him as your tongue gently laps up the runner of fluid. Sharp heat and electricity courses through his spine and chest pushing up against his throat. He bites his lip to suppress it but it’s already too late, he hears the choked strangled moan rumble in the room. 

“Frankie, if you don’t quiet down we might get caught,” you say, voice a sweet, hazy coo. “You’ll wake Santiago. You don’t want that do you?” 

There is heat and sharpness that resides in your eyes as he looks down at you. Eyes observant, with a cutting sharpness that sinks into him, rips him open and lets you see him for who he is. 

His breath hitches at the sight of it and there’s a knowing smile that slowly unfurls on your lips. It tells him that you both know exactly what he wants. 

And Jesus Christ, that’s what makes all of this so very fucking wrong. 

Pope is right next door. Not even five feet away, and maybe it’s the guilt that is crowding Frankie’s chest that makes all his senses more sensitive. But he swears that the sloppy, debauched wet sounds of your mouth as you’re working his cock is so loud that it must echo through the mountain. 

There’s something wrong with him, the way his heart races at the idea of Pope being so close. Soft black curls and challenging eyes with that insufferable competitive grin, flash in fragments before him. 

He thinks of your soft form tucked into Pope’s. How at peace you both looked curled up in each other’s arms. 

Frankie’s cock throbs and pulses with an ache so strong that is almost painful. 

Your fingers are a circle around the tip of his cock, stroking downwards in a slick long movement that has the entirety of his back tingling as he slowly cants his hip upwards to meet you. The warmth of your mouth as you slides down on him, it’s ache and pleasure all blended into one with each devastating thrust. 

Your other hand is on his knee to steady yourself, and wires are being crossed in his brain. Frankie starts to compare the weight of your soft hand against the pressure of Pope’s on his knee. All he can think about is how he wants both—and as much as he tries not to, his cock twitches and pulses at the thought of it. 

The back of your knuckles brush up against that sensitive skin tucked behind his cock close to the cleft of his ass and he jolts into your hand. 

You clock in his eagerness, and already you’re pulling your hand away as you meet his gaze with a knowing smile. 

“Do you need a bit more Frankie?” 

He bites his lips, heart hammering in his chest so hard it feels like it has got to bruise. 

Fuck, this is so wrong. 

“Words, Francisco. Got to hear you say it.”

“Ye—Yes baby, yes…” he stammers, “please.” 

You bring your index finger to your parted lips slicking it with your saliva, and Frankie is unable to look away. His face is burning, blood thrashing in his ears so loudly he thinks he’s going to go deaf with it. Everything seems to be going in slow motion as you bring your fingers back down.

At the first barely there touch of your fingertip to his entrance, live electricity spears his stomach. His hands resting at his side flexes and grips against the sheets to will himself to still. 

“Does that feel good?” 

“Ye—Yes,” Frankie manages to choke out between stifled moans and even that single syllable is a struggle for him right now. 

You hum, a satisfied tone hidden underneath that pleasant sound, as you slowly ease yourself further inside of him. 

“Still need more?” you ask, and there’s a playfulness to it. Your other hand is still stroking his cock with utter control and it has him surrender to you. “Not quite enough though is it baby? You need something else don’t you?” 

He nods, and that’s all the answer you need. Your finger slides out as you wet your middle and ring finger as well, the very same finger you’re wearing a thin gold band wrapped around your finger. That ring that says more than he’d ever allow himself to say out loud: mine.

The bright gold glints against the sunlight of the room. Makes his chest ache with a longing, right before it disappears from his sight, down between his legs. 

Then he feels it, the insistent pressure as you slide into him, and fuck, it’s so much. Your fingers are slim, but with three of them the combined girth provides a heavy pressure in him. He doesn’t know what it says about him, if he’s just that eager, but despite the fullness of it, all he wants is more. More. Deeper somehow. 

“You like feeling full, don’t you? Always want more, always want me deeper. But it’s never quite enough is it?... Should I maybe ask Santiago to come in here and help?” 

His breath draws sharp at your words. The look in your eyes, the shade of victory that flashes in them, makes his cheeks flush hot with the realisation that you have his numbers. 

He’s trying to inhale, the air feels eerily thin and he gets lightheaded with it. Before he has a moment to gather himself and calm down, you continue. 

“I bet Santiago’s cock would be so much thicker than my fingers,” your voice is melted with sweet heat. There’s no cruelty there, not mocking or goading. His desires born from years of stored away guilt is being dragged out by you into the broad daylight where it’s plain for you both to see.  

His eyes squeezes tight, trying to shut out your words. Trying not to think about the feeling of fullness of the three fingers you have inside of him and exactly how much thicker Santiago would be. 

“His cock would reach deeper too, make you feel so full baby.”

And fuck, it’s like whole head is splitting into two, lungs collapsing like you’ve torn the oxygen from his very insides. Everything is painfully tight, and he can’t help but squeeze down around your fingers, savouring the fullness of you inside of him. It’s so good, it’s so perfect, and deep down there’s a small quiet voice in him that tells him he still wants more. 

“That’s what you want isn’t it Francisco? You want Santiago to fill you up just right?”  

It’s a dangerous game that the two of you are playing. Someone is bound to get hurt one of these days. 

He wants to tell you to stop, but he can’t. Because if he uttered so much as a word, he’d risk waking Pope. 

He’s sure that’s the reason he doesn’t stop you.

He barely even notices that your hand is barely touching his cock anymore, just your knuckles brushing against the slick head that’s dripping and oozing with his precome. Your fingers curl perfectly inside him as you press against the devastating spot. It feels like a fuse has blown. He can’t feel his arms or his face, everything is drawing tight within. For a second he is sure that he is experiencing a heart attack. 

The floor and mattress underneath him sinks and pulls him under. It’s the loss of gravity one experiences before a helicopter crash. In his panic, he grabs your shoulder to brace himself, tighter than he had meant to. There’s a dormant part of him that wants to let go, but he can’t, because he’s convinced he’s gonna fall off the edge of the world if he does. 

Everything inside him burns, sweet and urgent. The pressure inside is building to an unbearable point and all he’s aware of is the throbbing need inside him. He comes with a raw sobbing cry that burns his throat. It’s all white pleasure and blinding heat, so overwhelming that it nearly blinds him. 

When he comes to, he’s a complete twitching, dripping wreck. Come streaking his chest and stomach and when he looks up, there’s a clear pearly streak of it marking your collarbone. 

“Fuck. baby I—I’m so sorry, I—” he starts, but you cut him off by sealing your mouth over his. Tongue sliding in, all warm and heat as he moans into your mouth. 

It’s a lucky thing he’s sitting down otherwise his knees would have given under. 

When you pull away from him there is still that loving warmth reflected in your eyes. 

“Don’t be sorry Frankie. It’s okay.”

Your right hand comes to stroke his cheeks, a sweet smile on your face. 

He doesn’t quite understand it himself. How even something this wrong, you can make it feel right. Maybe it’s the understanding you have, maybe it’s the sheer lack of judgment in a way that he’s never had with anyone else. 

“Let’s get cleaned up before Santiago wakes up okay?”

Frankie nods, and lets himself believe your words, even if he knows this is everything but okay. 

Dedication & Credits: To the one and only and the person who is the most constant in my life, @thirstworldproblemss (I don't care what my husband says he's second fiddle). I love you ever so. Thank you for letting me share your everyday with you. I am so happy that I get to spend time with you the way we do talking about everything and nothing. You are shrimpy the best if you can beleaf it.

Authors note: It's been 84 years. I know. I know Rose! Keep your diamond necklace on. Ages ago, when I first posted part 1, someone asked me if reader and Frankie had ever talked about Santiago watching them before, here's the answer to that... This takes place before the main timeline of the Homecoming series. I hope you guys enjoy mwah!

Follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!

[pianocat939]

Okay so I like really like your writing style and I would like to make a request!!

Can we see the boys with a reader that had drastic changes in temperature really easily? Like one second they’re burning alive and then the next their bundled in blankets.

Thank you in advance if you write this!!!

-👻

As someone who lives in a place where it's winter literally 7-8 whole months, I totally do not get this *cue awkward smile*. So most of the stuff written here is geared towards winter.

I split this into parts because I felt there can be both platonic and romantic reactions to this.

The Turtles with a Temperature Vulnerable MC

(There isn't much of a difference between romantic and platonic for Mikey + Raph. It's more for Leo and D'Nello)

Raph

- Platonic

Sorry guys I have to go back to his trauma again.

He worries a lot. It's obvious considering his Eldest Child Syndrome™

So much so that he carries around a bag filled with jackets/layers, ice packs, fans: and all that stuff when you guys leave either of your homes.

He tries to keep the temperature indoors as mild as possible, but it can get hard during the summer and winter months (winter especially 'cuz he's a reptile).

Will ask if you want hugs whenever you're cold. He may be a reptile, but I think he retains some warm-blooded traits from Splinter.

Learns how drinks are a great way to regulate temperature and asks Mikey to teach him how to make delicious beverages.

During winter he doesn't let you out until you have a coat and a light jacket on (trust me you get hot in winter coats really fucking easy).

"Nope. Not letting you out until you have them layers on."

Worried parent 1000%

- Romantic

Not too different from platonic, just more prone to be touchy.

Holds your hand(s) and cuddles if you if you're cold. And also because he's a cuddlebug.

He gets really pouty if you have to separate because you're too hot.

"If I were to cover myself in ice packs will you cuddle me?"

Leo

- Platonic

He will laugh whenever you have to change your surroundings/position because of temperature issues.

He might try to piss you off by stealing all the blankets or turning the heater/cooler to insane settings.

"Um, excuse me, I need all of these."

If he feels nice, on some days he'll hand you the things you need directly; might even teleport steal extra machinery for you.

Honestly, I think he would relate to your problem, but be the biggest drama queen about it. Like complaining extremely loudly.

Flaunts the number of blankets he has.

- Romantic

Is less snarky, but can be a little bug sometimes.

I think if we're speaking in a romantic sense he's more likely to expose his true feelings/intentions. I know it's not explicitly stated within the canon series/movie but based on my own interpretation I think he doesn't like exposing his feelings unless he really trusts that person.

So he'll express worry in a more intimate way.

He won't be all mama bear like Raph but does show some concern. He'll ask if you're alright and if you need he'll bring it right to you.

As I said before I do think he has a similar problem so he'll suggest you guys share a blanket or something to conserve as much heat.

"As soon as you get out I'm not letting you back in. This is my heat reserve."

Othello Von Ryan

- Platonic

Out of the three has the best assistance for temperature regulation.

He can easily construct a device that changes surrounding heat based on blood and heartbeat regulation.

He's iffy when it comes to helping you out that isn't biology or just in general science related. It's not that he doesn't understand it, he finds it inefficient that's all.

"Why waste time doing things that could maybe help when you know that the studies of science are more credible?"

No touch. Maybe robot arms with heating, but no actual touchy.

It's hot? Don't worry he got his beautiful ice maker in his battle shell.

He does not stand for complaining. Just tell him you're uncomfortable and he can fix it.

- Romantic

In a romantic sense, I think he's more likely to try to help in a non-scientific way. Again, it's not his preferred method but it can also be a data-collecting experience for him.

He'll ask more questions, trying to understand your individual biology.

"Is there a certain time interval when you feel you're personal comfort change?"

He really doesn't like it but if you need it very badly then he might give you a stiff hug or two. Awkward back pat gang

If you spend time in the lab with him then he'll make sure the environment is to your liking.

Asks Sheldon to watch over you if he's not able to be there at the moment.

I totally see him as a trench coat guy. Gifts you a matching one.

Mikey Wazowski

- Platonic + Romantic

Quite similar to Raph but has some distinct traits.

Will go overboard with everything because he's not entirely sure what you exactly need. Ex. 4-5 blankets or more than enough electric fans

Found frozen foods and used them in replace of ice packs once.

"I'm gonna find who stole them all because I am disgusted at myself right now!"

Uses his culinary skills as an advantage. Is it 3 star Michelin course shit? Indeed it is.

"I present to you my Ganache hot chocolate~"

He absolutely loves physical touch so keep that in mind. You'll have to pry him off you if you get hot though.

Donnie has to teach him how the thermostat works (it's not hard, he's just never used it before).

If you're ever under a blanket he'll try jumping on you.

(Sorry Mikey's is short I'm pulling all my brain cells trying to think of any possible ways)

——————————————————

I tried. I really tried.

Also, I don't ever want to call Mikey "Mikey" ever again. He's "Mikey Wazowski" now.

- Celina

[ultimate-marysue]

I love Mighty Nein, but some people really want to push this narrative that the second campaign is the bestest ever and does everything more and better than Vox Machina. And that's just really mean for no reason? You can have a favorite campaign without having to justify it by saying it's the best and everyone else is wrong. Vox Machina and Mighty Nein are two very different campaigns in tone, characters, structure, plot... obviously each one is better in different categories!

This post is inspired specifically by some people trying to push the narrative that Mighty Nein is way darker than Vox Machina. That's just not true, simply because the characters in MN are way less broody and simply don't relish in the drama of it all. If there's a tense situation they tend to diffuse it with a joke or find a way to solve it creatively without violence. Those are the strengths of Mighty Nein. Sure, it makes it really difficult to achieve the same level of fucked up darkness VM had, but they don't have to. The tone of the campaign is completely different and it's own, it doesn't need to be darker.

Now, for funsies, because I'm certain most of the people trying to make this point haven't actually watched VM (which you're free to not do, just don't compare something you haven't watched) I'm going to make a list of the darkest moments in VM:

(Warning, shit ton of spoilers for Campaign one and The Legend of Vox Machina. At the end of the post I also mention some spoilers for Mighty Nein)

-Vecna having the twins 8-10 year old sister inside his ribcage to distract them and make himself more difficult to hit.

-Vecna mind controlling Gilmore, Kaylie and Cassandra, making them pretend to be death nights so VM would kill them on accident. Which happened, and meant that they killed Scanlan's daughter and Percy's sister by mistake (they revivified them, but still, that was hard to watch)

-The Chroma Conclave destroying a city and killing quite a few important members of the council, including the king. We even had a scene in which they find Gilmore almost dead with the implication being, if they've stopped to loot, he'd be dead.

-When The Rakshasa took Gilmore's face and lured Vax to the balcony so he could stab him and throw him over the railing. Specially giving the emotional rollercoaster that was for Vax, thinking that he had hurt Gilmore by rejecting him only to discover this was someone else, and Gilmore might be dead.

-The entirety of Scanlan's quitting speech. That hurt.

-The Briarwoods hanging innocent people from the Sun Tree and disguising them as Vox Machina to send a message.

-The Briarwoods manipulating and brainwashing Cassandra the Rolo to fight for them.

-Anna Ripley torturing Percy when he was still a child.

-No Mercy Percy (almost matched by Caleb in the sanatorium stealing the necklaces)

-Artagan casually wanting to choke Vax to death and doing so in a scene so grotesque and utterly unsettling the entire cast was like "Wtf Matt??"

-The whole "Keyleth killed a child" pre campaign.

-Vex's death in the Raven Queen's champion tomb. How sudden it was, how Vax was just fucking around somewhere else and in a second his entire world is ended. "Take me instead you raven bitch".

-Percy's death just because of how frustrating and painful it was, dieing to the woman that help destroy your family. And the way the rest of Vox Machina went absolute bat shit after that, destroying Ripley completely, turning her to pulp... sheesh.

-Vax's death and all that comes with it. The death itself, the wish that almost was, the goodbyes. It was the most painful thing I've ever watched.

-Tary's father being homophobic. This one is kinda on par with Beau's father, but there's an extra layer of ickyness when you know that he specifically disowned him for being gay. Just, ew. There's a reason why Matt hated playing him.

And those are all the moments that to this day have not been matched in my opinion. Now this is due mostly to the attitude the MN carry themselves with. The Hag or the final battle at cognoza could have easily matched the intensity and darkness of this list, but the characters in MN are not brooding reluctant heroes, they're funny motherfuckers that literally laugh in the face of danger. They even manage to make fun of Trent at some points (though that's the darkest plotpoint on MN). Vox Machina are also fanny, but it's usually in between plot beats. The love potion scene is to this day my favorite CR thing, but there are things they don't laugh about, and that allows them to be darker.

In conclusion, the Mighty Nein are not the darkest campaign, not because bad things or traumatic things didn't happen to them, but because of how they handled them. And that's not a bad thing at all, it just means that they are better at being wholesome and funny in dramatic situations. And you're free to prefer it that way, but please, there's no need to shit on Vox Machina to compliment Mighty Nein. MN can't be the better campaign at every single thing, both campaign have their strength and weaknesses.

You're allowed to like whichever you want most, because taste is entirely subjective. But the product itself is not subjective, so saying things like "in my opinion Mighty Nein is way darker than Vox Machina in tone" is not an opinion, it's an incorrect fact. Just say you like the darker moments of Mighty Nein better than the dark moments of Vox Machina.