#and judging by all the wonderful people I've met in the community I think I'm right.

[zylphiacrowley]

I saw this post that @deathflare posted yesterday and it always makes my heart happy to see the supportive side of the community.

Unfortunately I do not have a twitter, so I can't join over there, but I'd still like to show my support from the tumblr side of things at least.

Donation screenshot under the cut. ♥

[creatingblackcharacters]

it seems like you get a lot of asks where people use autism as a way to justify their ignorance/lack of understanding. I’m not autistic, so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I really don’t think it eliminates critical thinking, or that it comes with a “get out of racism free” card.

I know what you mean, though I try to judge on an individual basis what a person is trying to say. It's not an uncommon sentiment on Tumblr, though. Even within the autistic community, race is a factor. An overwhelmed Black autistic is far more likely to be seen as a threat (if Anyone is willing to acknowledge their autism At All). Police killed Elijah McClain for wearing a ski mask while Black ("looked suspicious"), and I'm pretty sure dude was both 1) autistic and 2) played violin for kittens at a shelter. Like. You really CANNOT dodge it under any other identity lol, there's still an effect one must be on the lookout for when Black!

I try to give grace; I recognize that they probably don't mean harm if they're talking to me on this blog. But out in the wild it makes me go 👀 Bc I think I might have autism, but when I see how often it gets used as a reason to not understand bigotry, I wonder if I'm invalid bc I've never had that option. I've never met any Black "I can't help being racist" autistics either 😅 I'm not sure it's a hill anyone should want to die on.

[kai34902]

Addiction to Tranquility

Blurb: When all eyes are on you, you are forced to preform. till your legs bleed, your heart torn apart, and your mind goes numb you must not stop. Until a boy who has no interest in anything but science and space becomes a safe haven for you.

Or alternatively

When two people realize their feelings too late, and now must rebuild civilization while also try to get rid of their feelings for the other. Just one problem: they're addicted to each other

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔《✽✽✽⋆⁎⋆☽♡☾⋆⁎⋆✽✽✽》°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔《✽✽✽⋆⁎⋆☽♡☾⋆⁎⋆✽✽✽》°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

Paring: Senku x reader

Can be found on

Ao3

Quotev

Prologue 2: Petrification

Summery: middle school years and what goes on in readers head when petrified

<Previous ☽♡☾ Next>

Word count: 2389

Warning: not proof read, still a bit on readers backstory, maybe ooc, swear words, terrible attempts on what I call flirting, and 1st person

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔《✽✽✽⋆⁎⋆☽♡☾⋆⁎⋆✽✽✽》°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

As we grew up I never dropped my old habit of talking to the moon. It was my first friend and I'm not the type of person to drop a friend for another person. It was only when I got caught talking to it and rumors spread that was when I temporarily halted my nightly activities. 

Being upset was an understatement. With no one left to rant to, I went to the closest person I know, Senku.

“Hypothetically If I were to be caught talking to someone I shouldn't, how would I go about it so I could talk to them again?” I asked one night. I was on top of his bed reading ‘Romeo and Juliet’ while he was looking at something on his computer.

“If this is about the moon or the retainers again, doll, I don't wanna hear it”

“No!” I lied “its for something else you stupid genius” I sat up and pouted

He tilted his heat to face me “Then I suggest you should meet them again and discuss another way of communication”

“Huh…”

That night when I got home I was thinking about other ways to talk to my friend. I heard a faint voice coming from my brother, Daniel’s tv. I peeked into his room to find him watching a music video that was from Lillian Weinberg. I recall Lilian being Daniel’s friend. How they became friends I don't know, what else that I don't know is how Daniel even managed to talk or befriend her.

I had an epiphany right there. People only judge me for talking to the moon because it looked like I was talking to myself. It is often believed that talking to yourself means you're crazy, but if I sing instead it's a lot more normalized.

 I started to sing when I was alone or humming when I was with someone. Turns out singing to the moon was such a great solution that I solved another problem I had. It solved the problem of silence that I hated. That problem was so bad that I couldn't sleep without some noise at night. So everytime that it was quiet I started to hum to myself, even in Senku’s room. He never said anything about me singing or humming so I continued on. It soon became our norm. But I've always wondered what he really thought of it.

When Taiju and Senku finally entered middle school I begged my baba to let me join. He was still on the fence despite me showing improvement after the incident. It was only when Al came and talked with him did baba finally applied for me to join their school. 

It was there when our friend group grew from three to four with Yuzuriha. She wasn’t part of the science club that Senku joined nor the student council that I was a part of. We met her when Taiju introduced her with four small dolls that resembled all four of us. Taiju exclaimed that it was for Senku’s rocket.

We climbed up on a hill that was away from the school and pedestrians. Senku was obviously struggling with carrying his bag so I offered to take it off of him, but to my surprise he told me no. The reply was quick and stirn that I was taken aback at first but quickly shut up. I realized quickly when spending time with him that Senku and Bakuya are both eccentric to a fault. I heard Taiju’s cheeky grin and Yuzuriha giggle so I quickly turned around and side eyed them.

The four of us quickly started setting up. Taiju and Yuzuriha setting up the rocket’s stand, Senku setting the controls, and me putting the small dolls in the rocket. We counted down and right on three Senku pushed the big red button that set the rocket flying.

The tree of us watched as the rocket flew up in the sky. All of the years of hard work lead to this moment. While we were doing that, Senku was monitoring it through his computer. When it exploded I could feel my heart shatter. We faced Senku, waiting for an answer.

“It exploited at high altitude” He muttered

“We failed again” Taiju grabbed his hair as Yuzuriha was awkwardly staring at him.

“Heh, no, not entirely” Senku spun his computer to face us. It showed video footage from what I assume was a satellite in space. There on the screen were the four dolls Yuzuriha made floating around. Happiness and relief coursed through my veins that I hugged Senku with such force that I made him lose his balance and fall.

“h-Hey!”

“We did it! I thought we failed…” my voice muttered through tears. For a moment I thought Senku would push me off of him but he just patted my back.

“Haha! We did it!” Taiju pulled us up and gave us a big hug.

“Hey! Stop! you're crushing me!” Senku tried to free himself from taiju’s grasp.

Yuzuriha and I shared a big laugh. As I wiped my hot tears away. It's a shame that I'm a major empath to a fault.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔《✽✽✽⋆⁎⋆☽♡☾⋆⁎⋆✽✽✽》°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

The furious stopping of shoes dividated my attention from reminiscing about the past, though it didn't bother the ruby eyed man next to me. The door slammed open to reveal a familiar face.

“Listen up, Senku! (y/n)” Taiju yelled

“I've made up my mind, I'm going to confess the feelings I've had for Yuzuriha for the past five years!”

Senku finally stopped from what he was doing to answer Taiju

“Wow fascinating” he looked up “I can’t leave the lab right now but I promise to cheer you on so vociferously that my vocal cords will snap”

Wow I thought. Not one millimeter of interest. Poor Taiju. “I'll cheer for you too man, I can't wait to hear the good news” 

“Awesome! you guys really mean it!” He beamed which made me feel more guilty for him. I guess I’ll cheer for him more to cover for Senku’s portion.

“No you big oaf I wont project my voice even one millimeter for your cause”

“What?! Come on man”

“Don't worry Taiju I’ll cheer for the both of us” I patted him on the back

“Thanks (y/n) you're the best!” He gave me a hug that zapped the air outta my lungs

“Hey put her down! You're suffocating her!” Senku grumbled before reaching underneath his desk that we’ve been using for his most recent experiment

“Look, you've felt this way for five years but never said anything I can't praise such illogical behavior”

“You find every normal human behavior illogical Senku” I retorted

“Yeah yeah yeah anyways I can give you something logical as hell” He pulled out a flash with a clear liquid inside. I reconciled what was in it and gave Senku a look of confusion. In turn he gave me his signature smirk that he uses whenever he's up to something.

“I've developed this drug as a kind of ‘love potion’ it maxes out your pheromone levels granting you a 10 billion percent chance of winning her heart”

Bullcrap I thought. But let the show continue. Taiju looked at the flask pensively. For a second I thought that he was going to actually use it. But in the end he poured it out into the sink. “Thanks but no thanks Senku I gotta do this my way!” He left the room with a newfound resolution. 

“Did you do that on purpose so that he wouldn’t freak out mid confession like he has done before” I whispered into Senku’s ear

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Doll”

“Stop calling me that!” I punched his arm slightly.

“Now why should I?” he smirked

The four of us: Senku, Taiju,Yuzuriha, and I have reached highschool. Our days of playing around with small scientific experiments are behind us and now. Senku and I are focusing on other experiments that are a lot more complex from what we used to do as kids. Though it’ll never beat the rocket we launched in middle school. But all of our medium experiments have one thing in common, and that's for the big rocket Senku is going to use to fly to space. Besides that there are other things that remain the same, for one, our nicknames. 

Senku still calls me ‘creepy doll’ or doll for short. Still calls Taiju a big olaf, and yuzuriha her name. I call Senku a multitude of names ‘lettuce head’ and ‘genius’ are among them. I call Taiju ‘sweet pea' because he just is, and I call yuzuriha, Zuri!

I personally hate it when Senku calls me ‘doll’. It feels strange to hear him say that but I'll never admit that to him. He’ll never let that go.

“woah! Are you serious, you made a love potion!” One of the other clubs members asked

“I think we all know who its for” Another jested

“Shhh shut up dude” a third tried to shut his friend up

“What?” I questioned the two club members

“Come on, use your brain” Senku interrupted the threw a lit up match. “Its gasoline, (y/n) and I simply refined it from plastic bottle caps, consider the molecular structure of polyethylene.

“It's basically just like a long gasoline molecule minus a few hydrocarbons” I added

“And that's 10 billion points for (y/n)”

“Yeah but if Taiju really drank that wouldn't it have killed him” A club member asked

“No Taiju isn’t like that, he doesn't like to cheat when it comes to things like this” I started to reassemble the mechanism that had fallen earlier

“Besides the odds of him drinking were 10 billion to one, he's dumb but too straitlaced” Senku added. “Do you want anything from the vending machine doll?”

“Just water.” Lately Ive been gaining weight which isn't something to be concerned about except now I can see it actually affecting my body. I gotta cut the soda for now. All I heard was a simple hum of affirmation then he left the room. 

(a/n) what's yall’s favorite drink? I have a specific order, water and mango juice are equals and then Mountain Dew

“Sooo~ (y/n) you and Senku?”

“What about us?” I looked up at them

“He never treats us like that! Are you sure that you don't have anything between you guys!”

“Well if you actually properly assist him then i'm sure he’ll treat you the same way” I pointed the screwdriver that was in my hand at him. The door opened to see Senku carrying two drinks, a water bottle and a can that was most likely his. “That was fast” I said

“What's going on?” He looked at the crowd that was around me and the machine

“They’re just asking about our machine” I lied

“Guys Taiju is there!” a club member yelled, which soon made everyone crowd the windows.

“A hundred yen says he gets rejected.”

“Three hundred yen says he gets rejected hard.”

“Five hundred yen says he gets rejected at full power”

“Ten thousand yen says he actually doesn't” Senku interrupted cracking his can

“Seriously?” They asked

“I'll do you one better I’ll triple that” I took a sip from my water

“No fair! you have the money to gam-huh” senku paused which was uncharacteristic of him 

“Huh What what's wrong-” I turned to see a glow of green light from the sky “what the-”

“Quickly-” His voice got cut off and so did my sight. I was trapped, in my own body nonetheless. 

It was a quiet prison, which were the two things I hated. So instead I used my memories to rewatch shows I watched before and re-read books that I read…yeah I didn’t spend my time in solitude wisely.

I wish I knew that this was going to happen. I would've called up Daniel and told him that I love him for one last time instead of leaving him with a negative memory of an argument. At some point I trailed away from the shows, books, and regrets into my personal memories.

First thought of Zuri. She was a breath of fresh air compared to the rowdy boys we were friends with. I wondered if she accepted Taiju’s confession. She most likely did as she too likes him back. She and I would spend time in the kitchen, our school's home ec class, her house, or the crafts club. I would teach her about all the cute and creative things to cook up and she would teach me about arts and crafts. 

Though it was me spewing random facts and about the history or creations that she was trying to have me do. Our friend group would usually have lunch together on top of the roof of our school. If Zuri and I had cooked earlier, we would have made boys some bento boxes. Zuri made Taiju’s and I made Senku’s. Everytime Taiju received one he would scream that he would savor every last bit of food before eating. It was a cute declaration but so obvious towards his feelings for her that it made me question why she didn’t know earlier.

I soon thought of the ramen that senku’s dad treated me to. I recall Byakuya and the moments where he was acting silly. All in all he was a nice man who treated me like his daughter. Up until he shot up to space he often joked that I was his daughter-in-law, but Senku would shut him up every time.

I’d laugh it off every time. But there was an odd feeling that hung over me, a feeling that I couldn’t quite understand. I considered myself to be emotionally intelligent so not knowing what it had truly angered me.

.

.

.

Oh dear…

I like Senku!

When? how? What? For how long? Did other people notice? Or am I just stupid?

Great (y/n) what a way to finger out your feelings. If I could cry I would have right about now

Dear moon,

I know you can’t hear me but please tell me. How do I get over this? Because I know, Senku would never return my feelings. I don't wanna lose our friendship over some stupid emotion.

Next>

[dr-spectre]

Okay so this rant is gonna be mildly nsfw. So if you are a minor DONT LOOK! OKAY?! GET OUT! I DONT WANT MINORS TO LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!! THIS IS FOR 18+ ONLY!

Im gonna be talking about an issue when it comes to a subset of people in the Splatoon community. So yeah, MINORS! LEAVE!!!!!

Go on... leave....

Imma be real, a fair amount of the straight male fans in the Splatoon community who constantly sexualise all the women in the series need to realize that characters like Marina and Shiver would never get with you and you wouldn't be able to handle them either. You would not be able to handle Marina's hour long autistic rambles about excavators and machinery, and if you judged her for her interests because your pp is getting soft listening to her, she would despise you and not have sex with a random dude like you. She is not eye candy. She is not some slab of meat to go "AWOOOGGA HUMNA HUMNA HUMNA!" at. She's a dorky girl who has nerdy interests and is canonically a lesbian, not some bimbo to get looked at like a toy for your eyeballs. Sorry to burst your bubble.

You would probably HATE Shiver if you met her, i guarantee it. Marie as well, you would probably find her annoying and not vibe with her snarky personality despite you wanting to do bad things to her because you only see her as flesh for your pleasure. Marie hates and makes fun of ""fans"" like you. Sorry to tell ya. If you see Marie as some dommy mommy then I'm gonna have to ask you to get the fuck out of my sight dude. If you sexualise Callie too and make her some weird lustful woman who wants sex all the time, I will fucking murder you idc.

You would crumble to dust and get rejected SOOOOO fast by women who look and act like them. I'm telling you. Or they would run away from you so fast because you smell terrible.

Start thinking with your head and not the small head downstairs.

Listen, we get it, they are attractive, but don't make it your whole personality and say how much you wanna f them and use nsfw art of them in thumbnails and discussions (you can figure out which youtuber I'm talking about here...)

I say that stuff as a joke at 1am at night and 99.9% of the time i talk about how wonderful their personalities and stories are. I ain't going "ZAMN!!!" over these characters because I'm not THAT big of a loser.

Marina being so passionate and giddy about her interests is one of the reasons why i like her so much. Marie being so relatable is why i like her, Shiver being such a silly girlfailure who's funny is why i like her, not because of their hips ffs. That's like the last thing on my mind when i think about these amazing characters.

As a straight male myself, you guys gotta do better, i don't wanna be grouped up with the rest of you horny lot that needs some fresh air. I'm not talking about all heterosexual men in the fanbase obviously, i'm not that kind of person where i hate on an entire group of people and I go "those friggen straights ruined the series!!!" Like the people who say that are half true but not every straight guy in the community is a horny lustful mess you know? And i am a straight guy myself but... I hate getting piled up with the creepy fans who lust over these women. Like we don't wanna hear you thirst over them and if you are gonna say something a bit more nsfw AT LEAST BE CREATIVE WITH IT! OR BE REALLY PATHETIC ABOUT IT TO WHERE IT'S FUNNY!

It's also so telling on how you probably treat women as well. I wouldn't be surprised if you have never been close to a woman, friendship or relationship wise. Sex and looks ain't all the end all be all of relationships, if you can't understand that then good luck finding a girl who will actually like you and even think about doing it with you.

I've never been in a relationship before AND EVEN I KNOW THAT!!!!! HOW SAD IS THAT?! The single and alone dude understands relationships better than you.

Be better and go outside for a change. Get a hobby, or something idfk.

[ghost-inthe-hall]

Tldr; some of you should be ashamed.

Listen, I'm really not into the dramatics of elation goes on in the Fandom, I have voiced a few key things a few years back but this... this is very concerning.

Not only did some of you in the fandom, which I will say 90% of the time has been an absolute blast, I've made some friends and met some really cool people! The other 10% 😒😒 not so much.

yes I am judging you.

You know why? Because you make us all look bad!

Cause what do you mean you leak their private information on purpose? You unmask them as threats for those that don't want the full anonymity and mystery thrown at their face like a pie! You have pictures of his parents? What??

These are REAL people!

They aren't actors, your OC's, fictional characters in some book you got tricked into buying on Amazon, real people. With lives. Family and friends and you'd risk that because what... you think you're entitled or owed something.

Guess what, they don't owe us anything. Gee I wonder why they don't interact with us! Some of you are fucking banana heads!

Now this!

Are you proud of yourselves?

To any one of your who sat there and typed out whatever it is that you did to make a fan a real fan upset enough to make a video response to the bullying and humiliation you handsomely doled out to a fuckin weatherman!!!

We were all having fun, joining in on conversations, naming a flamingo, plot twists, anagrams, clues, houses divided, obtain, prepare, offerings and you had to ruin it. It's always something. Can't go one week without one of you boneheads doing something shameful.

The audacity to try and call a fan a clout chaser, trying to be somebody HOW DARE YOU? who the f are you jfc? because he was contacted for a bit, a fun little game that they've been teasing since last tour ended. He was excited to be apart of it. We were excited to be apart of it. But because you are impatient and over the wait which I get as well and understand I'm about to tear out my hair for something to gnaw on from them, and it's your opinion and you're allowed to have one.

But for fucks sake, act like you've been outside before!

You're putting on Sleep Token like a fashion statement, you're not really hear for them, you're not even fans if you do this to them. How disrespectful. They've had this all planned out and some of you jerk offs screwed it all up!

You claim to love this band like none other and yet you treat them like gum on your shoe bc you're not getting YOUR way? incredibly insensitive. I can't imagine how Chris feels, he looked and sounded so disappointed and I don't blame him one bit. Bullying him AND his actual viewers... man, no respect for anything.

I can't even fathom how the guys feel after this.

All the work the guys have poured into this, while they've been touring nonstop mind you, to be able to write new music, come up with all of this for the future, signing to a major label (not my fav), selling out a whole ass tour, planning, months and months of planning and the excitement we shared. The band and us and a few numbskulls ruin it for the whole gang. Fucking lame.

Now Chris Michaels has to endure the ugly side of the Fandom and has to make another video for another announcement. So that also means Sleep Token had to step in and move up what they had planned.

You couldn't just sit on your hands for 4 days!

I love it here, the community has been such a fun and exciting place to be and well never get something like this, this woven together again. I'm enjoying the ride but some of you clowns really should look in the mirror and start taking some of the make up off before Vessel hits us with a Nothing Lasts Forever post and their gone.

[ficsinhistory]

Spider sense and bonds - A meta about the bond of Miles and Gwen.

Hello, hello, tumblr fellas! The final scene where Gwen senses Miles in danger even in another universe has been rent free in my head for the past month, so I've tried to think of how that works.

(If you want to comment on something here, please do! I love hearing what others have to say!)

Let's go! Let's start with what we know. Spider Sense is in the movies:

Just like in the comics, I'm assuming that Spider Sense exists thanks to the Web of Life and Destiny.

(Beatiful, isn't it?)

Being a clairvoyant power of certain level, it works with what can happen and the most relevant will be warned to the spider. In we have -

a. A danger sensor, be it yours or a loved one of the spider in question. Like Miles and Jeff in the spot fight at the beginning of the movie.

Or Pav and Gayatri in the bridge scene.

b. A sort of sensor for other spiders. In the first movie, that's how Miles and all the other spiders were able to connect and recognize each other.

However, this does not happen so often in ATSV, with just Margo and Miles at Society HQ

(Remember this information, it is important.)

Which brings me to my theory.

Spider sense works as a connection and communication between the Web of Life and Destiny with the spider, which studies all the possibilities that can happen and warns and guides the spider to the event.

Most often with imminent danger.

In the case of Miles and Gwen, like bonds of compatibility, guiding them since they met and only deepening over time.

Gwen felt Miles even in completely different universes because they are the multiversal soul mates most appropriate to each other among the possibilities of the Web of Life and Destiny.

And don't get me wrong, they don't have that connection because they're a couple written in stone by some higher force. Because the Web, the Spider Sense, doesn't work with anything written in stone (including that's where Miguel made a mistake).

If they had never met, they could fall in love and live happily with other people. But they are each other's ideal people. The best compatibility of each other. And that it would only be enough: for them to coexist, to have the possibility of seeing each other, and boom! This connection so strong that it could exist was put to roll.

That's why Gwen was taken to Visions even before Miles was stung. That's why she feels Miles universes away. Of the probabilities in entire realities, they are the ones that work the best. The multiverse judged it that way and guided them and guided them, because they looked alike and because they worked, not because they were destined to do so.

(After all, the whole theme of the movies is about fate is bs and it's more about the odds and your actions on things, so...)

And you must be wondering: why Miles then doesn't feel Gwen the same way? And got that instant hookup vibe with Margo instead?

Here comes the fun part.

Our Gwen from Earth-65 is the best match for Miles Morales, the boy from Earth-1610. And Margo with Spider-Man from Earth-42. Miles from Earth-42. And as Miles was bitten by the spider from Earth-42, Margo and Miles felt that residual connection. (And so I call Prowlerbyte in Beyond)

Remember I said it's not Destiny? Our Gwen and Miles work, but not all versions of them will work. Some are, some aren't (yes, Earth-8 can still be a thing, no worries.)

And that's their fun!

They fall in love, love each other, because they are the best for each other. Because they, just like in real life, found each other and clicked.

They are soulmates because they love each other, and they don't love each other because they are soulmates.

[orphee-aux-enfers]

I. Don’t understand how being against homophobia and misogyny and informational suppression is cultural relativism? Yeah I have a #USAmerican raised Christian bias but I think not being bioessentialist and anti-intellectual is. Normal???? Genuinely don’t understand

Okay so. My guess from how this was written is that you are either a child or just into your 20s. I'd expect much different wording and approach if you were older. So. I'm going to try and be as gentle and clear cut as possible.

1) Orthodox Judaism is actually quite diverse and also different from Christianity, even fundamentalist Christianity .

2) What you're witnessing is not necessarily indicative of the actual community values; you are interpreting without insider perspective, or seemingly any actual knowledge. You're also ascribing motive to actions that may or may not be there.

3) many orthodox Jews, myself included, are queer and trans and embraced by our community. Every person of authority I've spoken to on the matter says that my incredibly queer, t4t marriage that gets read as gay no matter what, still gets the mitzvah of sex on erev Shabbos, and that includes my main community of Chabad.

4) many books are screened before being given to children by all people everywhere for a variety of reasons. Just because you don't fully understand the reasons as you are not yourself Orthodox Jewish doesn't mean that they are automatically something to be hated due to your preconceived notions.

5) Assuming a group is inherently homophobic, misogynistic, etc. Simply because you don't understand them as you are not part of their community is in fact a bad behaviour, yes. Don't do that. Most of the time, in most communities people are at worst confused.

6) As for misogyny... It's important to know the ways in which Judaism actually structures it's sex roles. No one has different sex roles because they're lesser, which misogyny implies. And every SINGLE person I have ever met observes mitzvos based on sex due to actually desire, not coercion. But for example, married women cover their hair as a way of making their marriage even more holy. Men meanwhile are told to cover their head at all times so they are mindful of G-d at all times. What does this imply at first glance? Why, that women are capable of remembering G-d at all times and the men are silly and must forget G-d if not reminded! Do we think this is all to the interpretation?

So. Before you judge our community so harshly... Perhaps also consider the last century of human history alone. We are being killed and hurt at alarming rates again, especially in the USA. Is it any wonder we don't stop in the streets to justify our existence to you?

Lastly, an oversharing of my personal details because as I am currently safe and well at home, I feel I ought to give you opportunity to understand that you aren't seeing/understanding the complexity of sex roles in Judaism

7) so, yes, orthodox Judaism has gender/sex based roles. It also is, in my experience, pretty flexible to meet individuals. I was coercively assigned female at birth. I was however by Jewish law, tumtum. In English terms, I had ambiguous genitals which could be surgically changed. My sister wanted a baby sister. And so, I was surgically "corrected" and raised female, until puberty and onset of hormonal problems that indicated that it wasn't just a genital mutation. I felt disconnected from binary gender, and at time, in part of my community having a label for me while the hospital I was born at had simply labeled me "incorrect", I came to embrace a masculine social standing. Because I was unable to be sexed as an infant, have masculine levels of testosterone and a lack of menses for years at a time, I have to adhere to both male and female sex based mitzvos. Religiously, I am operating with the strictest possible adherence, but this is all written and debated, as are all of the other sexes in Judaism. I am, however, allowed to exist as intersex in a Jewish community in a way that I am NEVER allowed to exist as intersex without a fight in the secular world, to the point that if it's not relevant I identify only as trans, because otherwise it becomes too complicated in the secular world. And this is genuinely because there is actually a space for me to exist in, as there are six Talmudic sexes.

Being trans and intersex is "allowed". Being queer is "allowed". Some communities differ, but I've lived in seven, and all of them have been more accepting of me being queer, trans, and intersex, than any secular space, including liberal and leftist spaces. At WORST, I am met with curiosity because I am new to the community. I think, perhaps, too many people in this world mistake curiosity with hatred.

[aroace-hedgehogs]

♡ pick a fic and I’ll pick a comment that made me really happy [source]

I once made a post similar to this on my other tumblr but I wanted to make a new post anyway because this series means so much to me.

Basically, being A-spec and a Sonadow lover has never been more amazing considering there's some amazing content out there. Such as Judge My Sins, one of my main inspirations for my own fic series.

But nevertheless, truthfully, my favorite aspect is the small community that's formed ever since writing my series. I've met some lovely A-spec people like myself and found those who understand the weight and commentary behind my self-indulgent writings.

Comments from my fics under the cut!

[IMAGE ID: I also find myself feeling uncomfortable writing sexual content. And I completely get what you mean by that kind of vibe of intimacy and I think you captured it magnificently minus the sexual content! I really hope to see some more stuff like this from you, it's very nice to see someone else who also understands this exact vibe /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: Dude if you’re excited I’m EXTRA EXCITED. And honestly your writing is exactly what I needed to see in media emotionally. You get the exact feeling I’ve always wanted to see explored in this kind of relationship. You know I’ll be there when you post your upcoming pieces! /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: Yes yes YES! This is it

Man this fic makes me want to have a rival so bad. The fears of feeling like showing that you are so different from other people is so real. And also! I don’t know if I have mentioned this before in this series, but I love how you depict passion and excitement for this kind of relationship! I hardly ever see aroace characters or even fics with non-sexual intimacy ever explore that facet of emotion. Sometimes I wonder if people think that aroace people can’t feel those kinds of things because they’re typically associated with romance. I’m just so obsessed with how you are writing Shadow and Sonic and how it’s literally perfect for I perceive relationships like this. Bro you’re literally in my mind, it’s crazy.

Fantastic chapter! I am crazy excited for the next one /END ID]

[TRANSLATED IMAGE ID: I loved it. I was delighted to find this fanfic that explored this fear of losing this connection and intimacy outside of the established. It was so beautiful to read this non-sexual intimacy because it feels so real, at least for me, as I'm on the aromantic asexual spectrum, and I could understand their relationship. It was so good; your writing is so beautiful. /END ID]

[IMAGE ID:

I don’t usually comment on fics, this might be my second or third in all my years of reading fanfic but I adore this series, it satisfies a want I’ve had for a specific type of fanfic ever since I read a similar type of fic that had just gruesomely beautiful poetry. It’s actually what got me into poetry in the first place and this series makes me want to go write more.

I’m acearo as well and usually I’m okay with intimacy in a romantic way in my media, it works well enough for me but whenever I read weird qpr/just non-romantic intimacy it hits differently. Especially kind of fucked up intimacy, a sort of codependence and the want to just melt into another’s bones and live in their marrow in a weirdly non-romantic or sexual way. And the intense intimacy of being known and seen in such a personal and private way, its really good. Thanks for writing what I cannot <3 /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: I've been looking for something like this. You understand on a fundamental levle. They need to ablsootly distroy eachoter, ripped to shreads under the force of a bond that cannot be explained only experienced. /END ID]

[queerprayers]

hi johanna! i want to try going to church, but feel self-conscious. i live in a small town, my friends are not religious and my family is ex-christian. i'm worried about people judging me, even though i know that shouldn't matter. some of my family seem embarrassed of how christian we used to be and they'd be surprised i want to go to church. i feel equally worried about walking into a church where everyone knows everyone but me or seeing someone i know! any thoughts are welcome. love your blog!

Hello, beloved!

I'm sure you're not alone in this situation—honestly, it can be kinda embarrassing to genuinely want to participate in faith, the way it's embarrassing to be earnest about anything. People who aren't religious can completely misunderstand the motivations and experiences of religious people, and while I don't know why your family left religion, both people who just weren't all that into it and people who have been hurt by or have serious issues with the church can be (sometimes understandably) antagonistic toward people who stay or join. 

Perhaps judgment "shouldn't" matter—but it does, to most everyone. Something something how our brains are wired to desire acceptance—I'm not a psychologist. It makes sense and it's okay. Caring what people think often coexists with empathy—they're both awareness of others, desiring good emotions in others. But we cannot let empathy become fear of ourselves. Empathy extends to our own souls too. Being genuinely faithful in the face of judgment from outside and within your communities takes strength. Creating a life of your own is terrifying. This isn't fair, but it is our calling. 

In recent years, I've embraced the uncool-ness of my earnestness—my beloved amalgam of philosophy and religion that started as an apocalyptic cult and was co-opted by empire and has a lot of weirdos and needs to repent of its crimes and has produced some of the most beautiful art in the world and that attracts people to the walls of churches even after everything. I'm almost glad in some ways that it's not the assumption anymore that everyone is Christian, that more and more you have to go out of your way to be part of this thing. (I'm not completely naive—I know that where I live is a majority Christian country, and I am not pretending oppression or minority status or counterculture. But I am often met with surprise that I'm Christian, and I treasure that.)

The small town thing is its own beast—I live in a city (small but I think it counts), but I currently go to church half an hour away in a very rural area, and there's a specific environment of knowing everyone that I only have a tiny experience with but can imagine how exposed it must feel to try something new or change your life in any small way. And there is definitely a small church culture that can feel intimidating, like sitting at a new table in high school, wondering if somewhere tight knit has room for another. I can never promise this, but I know with my church and many others, welcoming a new person into that tight knit community is the most natural thing in the world. You'll probably get a more personal welcome, and be invited to more potlucks, and I can't promise someone there won't know your mom, but it's doable even as an introvert. Church people want more people at church—in lovely communal ways or in evangelistic ways, and while I hope you meet the former, even the latter has its own welcome. There are definitely ways to dip your toes in the water of church without braving this—like visiting a church while you're out of town, or tuning into a virtual service—but I believe in you to take it a step further. If you come a few minutes late and leave a few minutes early to avoid any conversation, I salute you. If you see someone you know and flee the other direction, I understand. If you go once and have to wait a few months to be brave enough to go back, so be it. But you have as much a right to exist on holy ground as anyone, and you already have common ground to stand on because you want to be there, just like them. I don't know how many churches are near you, but you're already going outside your comfort zone, so you might as well step into one that you're not familiar with—a more traditional mass, or a hippie sing-along. Don't set limits on your journey that is about pushing past limits.

You want to try this out, and it probably feels lonely, and you'll have to stomach surprise and probably being looked down upon by people who feel they know better, feel they have evolved past the need for silly little ritual, or for whom religion only exists as closed-mindedness. I don't know if you're queer, but I've had similar experiences of being the one to embrace where God and my heart lead me, to the embarrassment or shame of those who have never encountered it or have stifled it within themselves.  You'll have to stand your ground, the way anyone who seeks something their family and friends don't has to do. Formulate some answers for questions you may receive—but no one has a right to your story. You're allowed to be casual about things that are deeply personal, you can say "I don't know, I was just curious" when everything in your soul is calling out for this. Being publicly faithful often comes after you've done the reconciling within yourself. Have patience.

If you're into saints, find some who have gone their own way—Francis of Assisi comes to mind. I even think of Moses, telling a member of his own adoptive family to let his people go, standing his ground for people he had only recently come to love. The faithful that have come before us had to live through—and die from—so much. Entering new communities has always needed strength, the strength of God. Often a lonely way at first, but your family's embarrassment or your friends' lack of understanding is not your burden. Their judgment is on them to swallow down or bear the guilt of acting on it. Your choices and calling is for them to reconcile. I'm not saying we should do whatever we want without regard for how it affects others, but you are not causing harm, and any tension will not have been created by you going to church, but by them disliking or not understanding this fact. And tension is sometimes necessary for people to reconcile with—it'll be good for them. You're probably doing them a favor—we all need to learn how to love people the way they will need to. It sucks to feel like a teaching tool, and I don't want to reduce you to that, but so often living a full life means people who can't deal with that have to learn. Looking at someone embracing what you never found a way to flourish within or understand is like looking at the sun sometimes—I've been there. But it is not for us to apologize for the light. And it often happens that being that light will move someone else to bravery.

I'm sorry it falls on you to be brave first. I'm sorry that religion is not simple or easy, but genuine desire can and will take you so far. I have a hunch that after the first time, a lot of things will make more sense. Beginning is half of the journey sometimes. If you've already begun since writing this, I'm very proud of you, and if you haven't, you have so much beautiful time. Faith is not all or nothing, and it is never too late. Life does not begin and end in your small town, and life can and will flourish—you are part of such a big world and history, for better and worse.

God is with you, regardless. God is right there, walking with you, moving your feet over the threshold of places you muster so much bravery just to enter. What shouldn't matter but does, deeply, heartbreakingly, can be both taken seriously and let go of, through the peace of Christ.

<3 Johanna

[foggyparadisecandy]

On Making Room for Good People

Life is funny and the journey can take you places you weren't expecting.

I think when we are younger and starting out, it's easy to be uncertain in many ways about the choices in front of us. I think that's natural because we haven't done a lot of stuff yet - and we don't know how the world really operates. So we can have anxiety - whether we understand it or not - and fear of "making the wrong choice" or "screwing things up".

We spend a lot of time worrying about stuff that doesn't matter in the long run and we miss out on the really big things that do matter.

It's interesting to be older now and realize I have a different perspective than my younger self - and people I love who are younger.

These days I know one of the most important things is to find people I vibe with and figure out ways to find room in my life for them.

Because people matter. And the right people matter A LOT over the course of your life.

Having someone who supports us and loves us and cares for us and will go to war for us, to protect us, to defend us, to show us how to stand up for ourselves and make a better life ... fucking irreplaceable.

Imagine finding a place for someone like that in your life and what an impact that they can make over the course of the coming years as you face new challenges and encounter new opportunities.

The funniest thing is that I know my younger self was a mess and would not have accepted that advice. lol

I was lost, hurt, angry, hating on myself, hating on others ... not intentionally. I didn't realize until recently that I grew up in a horrible, dysfunctional household - I was primed to hate myself and people please.

Ahhhhh .... either way. People make their own choices and have to figure stuff out on their own. I don't begrudge anyone their choices. I myself would not have appreciated my current self. How can I judge others?

Either way, we all make our own way in life.

It makes me happy to know that the people I love are watching out for themselves, taking care of themselves, PLANNING and HOPING for a brighter future than what they have currently in their lives.

And I'll be over here, doing my thing, and building my future. And if I can help, I would be happy to. But they have to choose to make space for me. Or not. And if they can't figure out how to fit me in to their lives, I won't take it personally. Whatever - I can't control other people. (not even with hypnosis lol)

Also true: I am no longer interested in emptying myself for others, or fretting over people who don't appreciate me.

Simple, right?

Took a lot of self-work to figure this stuff out. No matter how much I care about someone else, I refuse to accept being unappreciated.

Fiona Apple has a great line: "I don't appreciate people who don't appreciate."

(her next line is equally good: "All that loving must have been lacking something if I grew bored trying to figure you out.")

I'm fortunate because I've met a wonderful person who supports me as I support her. I love seeing her make strides forward to build a better life.

It makes me feel good to hear from her, and share ideas and strategies with her, and encourage her, and hear her encouragements of me.

Life doesn't have to be overly complicated. It's nice to be with people who appreciate and support us and we do the same for them. I will go to war for her.

I'm trying to not become addicted to her because that didn't end well last time around for me. lol

We have a strong, open communication style where we regularly share our feelings - good and bad - and have agreed to keep an eye on things.

We'll see. <3

[castlebyersafterdark]

and it's gotten people past a lot of their trauma or things that they've experienced, and they watch the show and it's helped them escape, you know what I mean? It's helped them see a different way to life and finding new friends and believing in friendship and believing in people.

Reiterating this one. He's so honestly real for it. Everything said here??? Resonates with me. Speaks true. This show has become such a lovely escape as a positive and it's also led me to discovering things about myself and has led to some now truly truly important friendships that have extended beyond the fandom 🖤💚💗

man, this made me tear up and i truly didnt expect to when i read that anon say they cried. i was like what could make me cry in a quick interview? and it did. this paragraph, like you vinny, hit hard. i guess my one regret about this fandom is that despite being here years, i've never found a way to get close to anyone beyond the username. i see people refer to each other by 'actual' name and i never believe it's real. or they meet up irl, and i wonder how on earth did they get to that point, without fearing the other person was a catfish or something? and i guess part of me, deeper, is also ashamed of being in fandom at all and never wanted to make it real by connecting with a person irl. fandom is my escape from real life - - the idea of making it real life, by connecting with a human and not just a blog, is scary. but i wonder if i'm missing anything. ah well.

It does hit hard!!! I remember early on here, there were some good talks about what being in a fandom means re: escapism, fan culture, hobbies, passion, and other vulnerabilities wrapped up in these aspects. I was asked "do I just enjoy the show or do I feel like I've fallen in love" and well, yeah. It's all so important to me! And has been for a while. Time spent. And many some judge that and think I'm ridiculous, that others are ridiculous for the same but hey - I say life is too aloof sometimes. We're disconnected from our own emotions for fear of what someone might think. It's freeing to feel so deeply. I live my life anxious about what others think of me and how they react to me and oooooh there is tons of that here, too!!

But I'm always able to bounce back and enjoy, I have been involved in fandom since I was young because there's that community and connection and I see others who are just as passionate so why do I care if I'm being a little "too much" - I know my limits and boundaries and have worked to find them.

And... we all have different perspectives and needs. Limits. Boundaries. Reasons for engaging. There's a lot of trust. What are people saying to each other, is it real, who are the folks behind the usernames?? How connected are they, how honest are they? Do we care about that? Unless steps are taken - how do you know anything? If you even want to. It's trust, sometimes blind trust, and it's a leap. With the connection that draws us together being the media subject we love as tether.

fandom is my escape from real life - - the idea of making it real life, by connecting with a human and not just a blog, is scary.

Agreed! In part! I think I've definitely bridged a slight link between real life and fandom. Escape and sharing. I like the control in saying what I want about myself and the slight anonymity making me feel comfortable enough to do so. It's kind of... what you want out of fandom? Do you want to enjoy fanworks and see what people are saying about the show and/or contribute your own or make friends and find a community or both?

I've been "in" fandoms where I make stuff and talk to people, others where I literally have lurked for a long time and never interacted with other fans or made anything. I've made friends online through fandom who I've then learned irl stuff outside of fandom. Never met anyone I met online. Sooo. Whatever your interest and comfort level is and what your escapism needs!!! There's no shame in finding connection, there's no shame in being passionate about our interests. 💞💖💓

[290896]

Happy Birthday! This letter is meant to be read in chunks, like while you are on the crapper or something. Don't go through it all at once!

--

Do you have a gay bestie? Cause if you don’t i’d like to volunteer for the position. I can start today. 🙋🏻‍♂️

Every it girl needs a gay best friend bro c’mon.

—

한승주

One thing I appreciate so much about you is that even though we've only met in person no more than 2 or 3 times, you treat me like someone you've known forever. I mean you made time to meet me even though you were sick, even though you were swamped with work. You gave me the nicest hug even though I told you not to cause I was sweaty. Not only that but you didn't even let me pay for anything, and you were about ready to hop a cab over to Parnas due to a mistake that I MADE in communication. You and your drip IV'd ass said you "felt bad" that I, a military man mind you, had to walk less than a kilometer through a bit of heat to come see you.

I can only imagine how well you must treat your actual, longtime friends.

--

김치

Kimchi is storing something good away, in hopes that something great might come of it later. - JY Park, circa 2016

--

You and I have been chatting since 2014 or so. And to be honest I've always wanted to hangout with you back then, but never really felt right doing so. I think I was intimidated to be honest. You being this cool, interesting Northwestern gal. And me being a lump of coal who just went to Columbia. So almost on purpose, I kept my distance in college, then throughout the years, only making sure to check in every now and then so that we don't lose touch.

I'm quite glad I did though.

People say it's harder to make friends the older you get. I don't agree. I think finding GOOD friends becomes much harder though. All you start to want as you get older are people who you can fully be yourself with, and who will bring you up instead of drag you down.

I can tell that you are someone who fits that criteria for your friends.

For myself at least, I'm glad I can be myself with you without being judged. You've never inquired as to my background, my gender, or anything much really and yet you do show signs of care and concern, offering to send me care packages multiple times throughout the years. You've also listened and replied to my rants when I have been at my lowest points. Thank you for that by the way.

As I mentioned last time, you are one of the very few people in my life whom I wish I could swap lives with for a bit. And I don't say that out of a place of envy or anything but rather I know that If I were to follow in your footsteps so to speak, that I'd inevitably be successful one day.

That might be a roundabout way of saying that I know YOU are going to be successful.

I admire your work ethic. I admire the fact that you've worked for most everything you have the past half decade. We joke about you needing a sugar daddy but something tells me that even if you had one, you wouldn't be happy for long. You're too driven to just lie around all day. No sooner than later you'd be coming up with a business plan for a pilates club or juice bar. (I could be wrong though)

--

Lowkey I'm kinda glad I never took you up on goin out to Sound Bar or anything. I'm glad we never formally hung out in college. Sorta like 김치 (aha, you were wondering what the heck that was about) I think it's more fitting that we get to know eachother a bit more now that we're more mature and kinda know who we are.

I don't know about you but for me this is one of the most unconventional friendships I've had, period. In constant communication for almost a decade, only having met twice or thrice, and not really knowing too much about eachother but still having a sense of care for one another. Going from being an hour-ish apart from one continent to being an hour-ish apart on this continent. We're like modern day pen pals and I think that's pretty cool.

--

Before I left the other day the last thing you said to me was to check in with you alot now that I'm here. I'll try. Like I said at our age, you start to only care about having a few good people rather than alot of average people.

And you are definitely good people.

You lumped me in with Sara which I thought I really haven't deserved yet. Cause I haven't really done much for you honestly. Though now that I'm here I look forward to being able to do more and to actually be a friend rather than a pen pal.

I'm thankful that in the little time we had you were able to share some stuff with me. I learned a lot about you in that little timeframe believe it or not. In the coming year I hope I get to learn alot more. And if you ever wanna know anything about me, just ask. I'm an open book.

--

Some of my favorite things about you so far : love your gummy smile, it's the best. Love how direct and straightforward you are. It's almost uncomfortably blunt at times but definitely preferred. Love how considerate and courteous you are.

Some things I'm curious about: What's something you can talk about and never get bored of? What do your tattoos mean, if anything? What brands fill your closet the most? How many best friends do you have? What makes them your best friend?

--

Lookit I wish every good thing happens for you. I hope you make partner, and achieve every career goal you set. I hope you find the guy of your dreams who checks all of your boxes without compromise. I hope your health miraculously gets better. I hope your family are all happy and healthy. Literally I just want you to be happy, and I want you to not ever have to feel like happiness awaits in the future. Ya know what I mean? Not when you've got the position or the house or the car or the man but now. And if you ever struggle with that, do let someone know. Let me know.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I am honored to have been able to have wished you in person, even if a bit early. Glad I got to finally get you something other than autoshipped flowers. I look forward to spending more time with you this year! Im thinking your next birthday, for our 10 year frienniversary we could probably do something special if you wanted. Maybe a trip to a resort island or something, anything! My treat of course

--

PS

was not kidding about the gay best friend part

[fallynleaf]

I saw you mention you use Gill Sans for text on your gifs. Are you aware of the disgusting history behind that font and its maker? Well, i say disgusting but it’s not something i really care about. I was wondering if it would affect you at all. Y’know how, we don’t use the term Asperger’s syndrome anymore because it was a nazi scientist that coined it, and cisgender was an idea given by a eugenicist, i wonder if people should feel the same about fonts created by Eric Gill. I mean this as a genuine neutral uncharged question, i am not judging you in any way :) kind regards

this ask seems worded like i'm walking into a trap, but, well, here we go, i guess...

yes, i have a book arts degree (or, well, half of one. i have a souped up graduate certificate in book arts that's less than a year's credits short of a full MFA), and in my letterpress and book design classes, we got into multiple discussions on whether or not it's ethical to use Eric Gill's fonts, considering the horrible things the man did when he was alive (for those who don't know, his wikipedia page talks about it. tw: sexual abuse).

personally, my main thought on the matter is that the man is long dead, at this point, and is in no way benefiting from continued use of his fonts, so i see using them as basically morally neutral. gill sans entered public domain in 2010. it'll always be tied to its creator, of course, but typefaces as a whole are already extremely detached from the conditions of their creation in most people's minds, and i think only a small percentage of people are able to so much as recognize the font, much less know anything about its creator. (for instance, i never received an ask criticizing my use of gill sans on my gifs until i mentioned that that's the font i use, so seemingly no one even recognized it)

unfortunately, there are a lot of awful people throughout history that have created things that we regularly use today. personally i think it's most important to consider whether continuing to use something is contributing to active harm. like financially supporting Harry Potter, for instance. or with your example of Asperger's syndrome, my understanding is that the name is far from the only problematic thing about the concept.

i think there'd be an argument against using gill sans/perpetua/joanna/etc. in the modern day if their use was triggering to others, but as far as i know, they've really become so removed from Eric Gill himself, there's not really a strong association there for most people.

maybe i'm wrong about this and there are people out there who do find it triggering to see fonts created by Eric Gill being used and showing up in the font dropdown lists and such, but even among the typeface/book nerd community i met in grad school who by and large could immediately recognize his fonts and who knew about his history, i've never met anyone who felt triggered seeing them.

my main reason for using gill sans (the italic, at least. i don't like the regular version) on my gifsets is because it's one of the default fonts available, so it's very accessible, and i feel that it is very readable (even at fairly small sizes) without looking lifeless. it also has a lot of typefaces in its family so you have a lot of options for other fonts to pair with your caption text if you need to have some other text on the gif that you want to distinguish from the caption.

i could probably find some new typefaces online somewhere that would also look great, but i have a tendency to gravitate toward the fonts i've worked with in metal lol because my first experiences learning book design were through letterpress, and gill sans is one of the few sans serif fonts our studio had, so i have more experience working with it compared to others.

[cerysdelaney]

Hello there! I've been a huge fan of yours for years and want to ask something (only answer if you'd like to). I found out that I'm ace a few years ago and, honestly, it kind of makes me feel like I'll just be a burden to any future partner I have. Is it at all hard having an ace partner? I'm very physically affectionate, but sex itself is just... hard for me. I kind of feel like I shouldn't "waste anyone's time", y'know?

An ace partner is a person who loves you for who you are. Full stop.

And when you stop, and take in that realization that this person is with you because they just like YOU…

Whoa.

Makes my heart beat faster. 😈 I can walk around naked in my house and my husband is thinking about how much he loves this woman who just likes to be naked all the time. Like what? He’s just looking at my spirit, my personality, my soul? He does think I’m attractive, but he doesn’t have the desire to fuck me.

We’ve been together now for 12 years.

I had been with a lot of people before I met my husband. I didn’t realize how much I defined my worth based on whether my partner wanted to fuck me. Then when I met my husband, and he didn’t… well, that took some adjusting and a lot of self reflection.

Is it difficult to love someone who is ace? No, my husband is easy to love, and in many ways he taught me to love in a more complete way. He gets me: my likes, my dislikes, my interests, my passions. He enjoys ME. He wants me around. And I found him fascinating. Still do. He’s made me laugh every day of our currently 12 years together. He’s a great father and husband because he cares about us more than anything else in the world. (And if you stopped at the word ‘father’ - yes, I figured out my ovulation cycle and let him know a week and a half in advance when we would need to have sex. He’s actually wonderful in bed and I cum at just how large his dick is inside me… but that happens like maybe once a year - 3 times when we were trying to have a kid!! 😊)

So do I miss regular sex? Sure, but I have become fantastic at masturbating. And though I haven’t had the time to write recently, it does fuel my erotic writing. We did an open relationship for a bit at 10 years, but sex - to me - is still just sex. It doesn’t mean romanticism and it doesn’t have to mean love. And honestly after a flurry of partners I find myself currently at 6 - 7 - 8 months without? It’s a choice now. I’d just rather… be home 💜

I think the key with any relationship is open and honest communication. My husband and I dated, fell for each other and then I realized sex wasn’t that important to him. He was patient with me as I tried to figure out what I wanted. He didn’t judge me for wanting sex, but he also stood up for himself in not wanting it. He’s not a cuddler, but he’ll give me cuddles when “my cuddle meter is low.” He always holds my hand, even in the living room. And his primary love language is giving gifts. He’ll see my favorite candy at the store or a movie with a trope I adore. And just like he learned to cuddle, I learned how to find tiny gifts in everyday outings that lets him know he’s on my mind…

No one should give up on finding a partner(s) just because their love is unconventional. You’re not wasting anyone’s time by being your authentic self. And in the end, being true to who you are is a healthier way to live. Your first and most important relationship is with yourself. Set your own vibe and maybe you’ll find someone on the same frequency 💜

[blackcatxmagic]

Ocean was fairly certain that Aristotle was talking about someone else. There was no way he could be talking about Ocean, right? Did he have him mixed up with someone? The last thing that could be said about Ocean was that he was adorable. Awkward, sure, but not adorable. Still, his new friend's words made him smile, blushing a little, but this time not in the embarrassed way. "My super power is like...I don't know, tripping or just randomly falling over or whatever," Ocean said, and though he was kind of joking, he also kind of wasn't. Still, Aristotle's words were cheering him up some, and Ocean thought about how kind the man was. "Are you always so nice?" he asked his friend. "You're one of the nicest people I've ever met. Or is it just my adorable awkwardness?" Ocean grinned, barely able to believe that he had just made a joke.

Frida really was incredibly sweet, and Ocean was hooked on her. And it seemed like he wasn't the only one. Smirking at Aristotle, Ocean teased, "She's got you wrapped around her little paw, doesn't she? That's okay, I get it. It's a very cute paw." He leaned down, kissing Frida's paw as if to prove its cuteness. "Your second boss?" Ocean asked incredulously. "I think she's going to be the first." Something caught his attention though, and Ocean asked, "Appraiser? Is that what you do?" He realized the two of them had never talked about their jobs.

Truthfully Aristotle had a point. "There...probably is such a thing as too much pumpkin," Ocean admitted. "But it just feels so appropriate for the season, you know? And I think it helps people get into the Halloween and Autumn spirit, you know?" It wasn't like it was all pumpkin all year long, and it made this time of year feel special, at least for Ocean. "Suddenly a veggie burger sounds so good though," Ocean said, partially to make Aristotle feel better about not wanting pumpkin ravioli but mostly because it really did sound good. "Have you ever had one?" he asked Aristotle. "A veggie burger I mean? Sometimes people don't want to give it a try, but I really like them."

Laughing (albeit a tiny bit sadly), Ocean stated, "You know, I don't think chasing people down is going to help with them thinking I'm creepy. If anything, they'll think we're both creepy, and then we'll be the town pariahs." Other than that though, Ocean really did like the image he now had in his head of the two of them in the future. "Maybe we'll be petting another little one while we remember Frida here," Ocean considered, but then suddenly he was sad; he didn't like to think about losing Frida despite how little they'd known each other. It already felt like she belonged with them. "Not for a very long time," he told the cat, kissing her head again. Cat head kisses were apparently addictive.

The thing about what Aristotle was saying was that Ocean could tell he genuinely believed these things, that he could really see this future, and that made Ocean feel a little more like it might actually come true some day. "Flannel better never go out of style," he said, hating the thought of that. "They're basically the best kind of shirt you could wear. I wore them all the time on the commune when it was cold." As he listened to Aristotle, Ocean had questions, realizing he didn't know a lot of about the man's life before. "Where are you from anyway?" Ocean asked him as they walked. "And why did you come? Did you come with your brother?" Sighing, Ocean apologized, "Sorry. You probably feel like you're being interviewed. I just don't know how else to get to know...new friends." He smiled shyly as he said that last part. Even though he wanted to stop asking questions, Ocean had one more he needed to ask: "Who's judging you for being here?" Ocean wondered. It didn't make any sense - Ocean felt like everyone should be happy to have Aris in their lives.

Aristotle laughed, shaking his head at Ocean's insistence. “Not cute? C'mon, Guy. That adorable awkwardness is practically a superpower. You’ve got to embrace it.” He never did shy away from compliments or letting his feelings be known. Since his mother's death, he had learned that he wouldn't be guaranteed even one more tomorrow - so he said what he thought and how he felt. It won him some friends - it cost him some friends. “And ‘difficult’? Nah, I think you just keep things interesting.”

When Ocean mentioned Frida, he smirked. "She’s definitely something special. I just found her, and she’s already taken over my heart—and she's gonna be my jeep-buddy.. probably bring her into the antique store when I'm appraising. I’m pretty sure she's gonna be my second boss.” He chuckled, enjoying the moment.

Ocean’s thoughts about dinner sparked Aristotle’s playful side. “I get this is a pumpkin festival, I do -- but y'know... really thinking we're entering non-pumpkin territory here. We could start with burgers -- veggie for you, of course." He hadn't known that Ocean was a vegetarian, but he rolled with it. "End up knee-deep in dessert. Sounds like a pretty good end to today."

He wasn't giving up on his future-planning. "Listen, my therapist taught me a trick. You gotta envision the future you want. Really picture it to manifest it. So.... picture it: us, old and wise, sharing stories about the time we rode to get milkshakes, or named a cat at a pumpkin festival or ... whatever hijinks we get into in the future."

When Ocean expressed concern about being the creepy guy, Aristotle waved his hand dismissively. “Creepy? No way! People are going to see how genuinely you care. If anyone runs away, I’ll just have to chase them down - I'd do it. I'm persistent."

As for the flannel discussion, Aristotle leaned forward, grinning. “Flannels? Yeah, they're mostly timeless. But if they go out of style, we'll bring them back. They'll call us the ‘Flannel Kings’—I can see it now!” He chuckled, relishing the idea. So, Aris would walk with him to find the place with veggie burgers and Aris wanted a soda, not that he needed the caffeine, but he wanted something not pumpkin. Not spice. "All this to say, you know - I'm a new guy in town. I know my little brother, and my pen pal. I've got a job maybe lined up. A jeep I'm now making payments on and plenty of time to second-guess all decisions I've made leading me to coming here so -- I'm going to ramble to you because yours is the first friendly face -- that wasn't here the last time I was here - that isn't judging me for being here at all. Like there had been a town referendum or something that was like: this guy - if he comes back, make him remember why he left."

[fukuokadivision1]

Sanyu's Thoughts on Kobe Division

Ren Nakashima

"I know this guy. He's that famous rock star, right? What he's called... Vox? Yeah, I think that's it. ...Hey, don't blame me, okay? I don't know much about him. I like his music, but I can't really call myself a fan. His music... as good as it is, it feels a little... "possessive". Like, if you listen to his lyrics, like actually listen to them, you'll notice that many of them have to do with claiming his... "darling". I don't know exactly who he's talking about, but... I sure hope that their feelings are reciprocal..."

Max Soukoku

"This kid... I've never met him before, but... his eyes are the same as mine. Back before I came here to Fukuoka, before I met Tasu and Ming, my eyes were just like his... cold and dead. Judging by the scars on his arms, I can tell he's not had an easy life. I'd feel sorry for him, but... I don't know if it's true or not, but I was speaking with Sumire while in Shinagawa once, and she mentioned that this kid may have something to do with... "The Commission". Even back when I was working for the Yakuza, I had heard rumors of these guys. Anyone who even thought of messing with them all mysteriously disappeared before too long. So if he's part of that group, I think I'll keep my distance. I like living."

Kaiji Sano

"Where have I seen this guy before? ...Oh yeah, he's that famous crossdresser. Jinx, right? I have to admit, I admire him a bit. Coming from someone who has both a male and a female reproductive part, it takes a special person to be able to wear female clothes and not care what people think. I'd like to talk with him and ask how it makes him feel. I mean, I know I'm a girl, but... I don't know. Some days, I'm not sure what I am..."

Lovesick

"I have to wonder how all three of these guys met. I mean, Vox and Jinx I can understand since they're both famous. But where did Max come from? Did they just suddenly meet him and they all connected somehow? ...Well, I guess that sounds like most of the teams in this tournament. I mean, people who look like they'd never communicate with each other on a daily basis are forming division teams with each other left and right. Look no further than us here in Fukuoka."

"But anyway, I wonder what these guys are entering for? Did Chuohku force them to enter? I certainly wouldn't put it past them..."