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#and ive been off her a year idk maybe it's time to give her a chance to come back
weenhands · 7 months
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#vent#i havent really been able to sob in awhile and i think tonight was just another breaking point#im so emotionally numb and devoid of emotions so i end up really sobbing every few weeks#when normally i would be crying almost everyday if i could properly respond to the hell i feel like im experiencing all the time#idk. i sort of spiralled and i ended up thinking about what it would be like to just cry in my moms embrace#and maybe not even actually say word for word how i feel#im trying to just cry quietly so my parents dont hear but in my head my mom knows why and she understands and shes holding me and telling me#its going to be okay.....i dont trust her with anything but i just wish i had her reassurance specifically.#ive been off these past few years to them because of how bad my anxiety and depression have been#and i think i find comfort in giving my parents that closure of whats really going on....while also having them hold and protect me#like they used too#i switch my stuffed animals to hold depending on my current situation and mom gave me this stuffed animal to hold when i just Want her#she gave it to me randomly and i havent felt so bad where i had to reach for him in probably years#so im just holding him now. i dont wanna put my other one that i was holding before in the box of my other stuffies#cause im not used to seeing him there yet idk hes used to the bed#im probably gonna delete this soon cause just writing all of this down sorta calmed me down#im just really sick of my head and i feel like im thinking really bad thoughts again
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wanders-in-stars · 5 months
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Loaded up Tamar's preset in RaceMenu and the game immediately crashed.
Broken mods? Pshh naw. Sign from the universe that it's time to completely remake her from scratch? 100%
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tonyspank · 1 year
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I WANNA BE YOURS
Summary: Months after admiring the girl from afar, you finally begin your relationship together.
Warnings: smut and idk…
Words: 9.3k
A/N: Longest imagine ive ever wrote. So please bare with me i did not edit or revise this
Vada Cavell x Footballer!GP! Reader
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You walk through the crowded hallways, a black bookbag hanging off your shoulder. You look around and see the people you know, and those you don't. You make your way to your classroom, immediately recognized by your best friend. "There she is!" He shouts from his seat, raising his hands in the air.
"Ethan... it's like eight in the morning. Why are you shouting?" He laughs and pats the seat next to him. You take your seat and start to unpack your bag. "Coach cancelled practice for today. Something about giving us time to mentally prepare for the game."
You raise an eyebrow in surprise. "That's so unlike him." Ethan nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but I'm not complaining. It's nice to have a day off."
"Wanna hang out after school?" You ask, placing your notebook on your desk. The brown-haired boy leans into his chair, a smug smile on his face. "No, can do."
A smile makes its way on your face. "What's that look for?"
He shrugs, "Oh, nothing. It's just that Mia Reed and I are going to this Taylor Lift concert together."
You snort at the mess up of the Singer's name. "You mean Swift?" He rolls his eyes. "Yes, that's what I said, Taylor Swift." You shake your head, amused. "Just don't make that mistake in front of Mia."
Ethan has had a crush on Mia since middle school. But he's always been too scared to talk to her, so he'd always comment and support her dance videos on Instagram. He would often try to find ways to run into her, but he could never find the courage to talk to her.
"Wait," You furrow your eyebrows, turning to Ethan completely. "How did you even finesse a date with Mia Reed?" Ethan smiles and shrugs. "What do they say again? Drunk words are sober thoughts?"
You shake your head and laugh. "I was drunk out of my mind during Max's spring break party, and then I saw Mia... and I just went for it." You had seen Mia around school but had never actually talked to her.
You were surprised that she even agreed to go out with him. Ethan could be surprisingly daring when he wanted to be. "You're a brave guy," he holds up a finger. "A brave drunk guy!"
"Also you'd never believe who else I seen at Max's party." "Who?" you asked, curious. He grinned, "Fucking baby Adam Sandler, Vada!"
You stared in disbelief. "You're such a liar." He shakes his head, sitting up in his seat. "Bro! I swear to god! She was there! In her oversized clothes and everything."
You narrowed your eyes at him, still skeptical. He laughs at your facial expression, "Maybe if you had gone then you could've seen yourself." He says in a sing-song tone.
You shake your head and turn away, still unconvinced. He laughs again, "Well, believe me, or not, I'm telling the truth." He shrugs.
Your teacher then walks into the classroom. You glance back at him, trying to figure out if he's telling the truth. He winks at you and turns away, leaving you unsure. As your teacher brings the lesson your mind wanders off.
Vada Cavell, whose last name you only found out due to her Instagram page. Kind of like Ethan, you've been liking Vada for a while but never built up the courage to talk to her or ask her out.
It's been months of admiring her from afar. She was beautiful in person and you found yourself totally mesmerized by her. You liked the way she dressed, unbothered by how anyone else thought of it, you liked the way her smile lit up the room.
You just had to talk to her, but you hesitated. You felt like you could never measure up to her. You wondered if she could ever like you, too.
You only seen Vada talk to her friends from the beginning of the year. It was Nick, Mia, and Quinton. You felt like an outsider, not part of their group.
You were too shy to approach her, and you were afraid of getting rejected. You also felt like you were the total opposite of Vada's type, so you decided to stay on the sidelines and admire her from a distance. You wanted to get to know her but you weren't sure how to start a conversation.
The rest of the day went by fast. Before you knew it you were back home, greeted by your cat and your mom. "Hey, honey. You're home early."
Your mom speaks up from the kitchen, while your cat rubs itself against your leg. Taking off your jacket and bookbag, you smile and reply. "Yeah, coach cancelled practice." You give your cat a few scratches before heading off to the kitchen to join your mom.
"Really? That's surprising." You laugh, peeking into the pot your mom was stirring. "Yeah, that's what I said."
"What are you making?" you ask, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "Spaghetti." She smiles, adding stuff to the pot. You feel a wave of warmth wash over you as the familiar smell of your mom's cooking fills the kitchen.
You watch as she expertly moves around the kitchen, adding ingredients to the pot. "I have to work late tonight, so I figured I'll start dinner early." She stirs the contents and you can smell the delicious aromas wafting from the pot. She gives you a smile, and you are grateful that she is willing to take the time to make dinner for the both of you.
"Ma, you should be resting. I can cook dinner." She waves her hand at you dismissively. "I want to do this. After all, it's my job to take care of you."
She pours some more ingredients into the pot, and the smell of the food intensifies. "What if I got a job? So you don't have to work late shifts anymore?" You suggest, a frown on your face.
She pauses for a moment, before shaking her head. "No, you need to focus on your studies and football. You worked hard for your starting spot, honey." She smiles sadly at you, before stirring the pot and humming a song.
She stops, "Now, go take a shower. It's almost finished." You nod and walk away, feeling a bit defeated. You know she only wants the best for you, but it's still hard to hear. You take a deep breath and head for the bathroom.
You take a long shower, letting the hot water wash away the disappointment. You remind yourself that you are doing your best and that will have to be enough.
Taking a deep breath, you step out of the shower and head back into the kitchen. After eating dinner with your mom, you begin scrolling through Instagram and TikTok. You soon find yourself laughing at memes and videos, allowing yourself to forget the stresses of the day for a few moments.
Hours pass and you soon realize it's time for bed. You turn off your phone and crawl into bed, just as you're about to drift off to sleep, your phone dings. It was a message from Ethan.
ethan - best fucking concert ever
ethan - im officially a swiftie
ethan - taylor's songs are anthems for my life. everything she does is iconic. she's my queen.
you - i'm guessing it went well with mia?
ethan - well? it went amazing bro
ethan - she wanted to hang out tmr but she has plans w adam sandler
you - oh thats a shame
ethan - omg i jus got the best idea evr
you - which is
ethan - A DOUBLE DATE
you - ethan no.
You place down your phone, and it vibrates from the amount of messages you're receiving. You lay back down, but of course, your phone starts ringing. And it's Ethan, obviously.
You sigh, but you pick up the call anyway. "Listen to me! It's a great idea!" He shouts through the speakers of your phone, You groan and roll your eyes, but you can't help but be amused. You reply, "Okay, I'm listening."
Ethan begins to explain his idea in more detail, "Okay look! If I text Mia, right now saying what if me and you both go to the arcade with them, she'll be like sure! Then that means I get to hang out with Mia and you finally get to meet Vada."
Ethan smiled, knowing he had found the perfect plan. You chew the inside of your cheeks, debating if you should agree to Ethan's plan. You take a deep breath and finally give in, deciding that this could be the start of something good.
He quickly texts Mia, and after a few moments, she replies agreeing. "Looks like we got ourselves a double date." Ethan and Mia started to chat excitedly about the date, and you couldn't help but feel a bit of excitement as well. You hadn't been on a date in a while and it felt like a new adventure. But was this actually a date, or just a way to hang out with friends? You weren't sure.
You woke up to a shout of your name. You quickly scrambled out of bed and rushed to the living room. There was your mom standing in the doorway with a wide grin on her face and Ethan right beside her.
"Ethan's here." You send a tired smile to your mom, "How was work?" She shrugs, "It was alright. Come here and give Ethan a hug." You side-eye Ethan, who opens his arms wide, a goofy smile on his face.
"C'mon Y/N/N! Hug me!" You reluctantly walk over and give Ethan a hug. He squeezes you tightly and laughs. Your mom smiles, watching the two of you before turning to head upstairs. Ethan lets you go and gives you a pat on the back.
You take a few steps back and he grins at you. You smile back, "Why are you here so early?" Ethan shrugs, "Your mom said it was okay. Plus it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon." You nod, and Ethan takes a seat on the couch.
He looks around and then turns back to you, "So, what have you been up to today?" You shrug, "Not much. Sleeping."
"I can tell," he motions his hands above his head, basically telling you your hair was a mess. You laugh and run your hand through your hair, trying to tame it. You look back at Ethan and smile, "What about you? What have you been up to?" He grins, "Talking to Mia."
"Oh, really?" You raise your eyebrows. "And what did she have to say?" He shrugs. "She said that they'll be at the arcade at around six."
You nod, sitting down on the couch as well. "Wanna watch The Walking Dead?" He nods and smiles. "Sure, let's watch it!" You grab the remote and search for the show getting comfortable on the couch. The episode starts with a bang, and you both settle in to watch.
Two hours later, you two are still glued to the screen, eagerly awaiting the next plot twist. Once the episode ends, you turn to your friend and say, "Shit! What time is it?"
Ethan, eyes wide, checks his watch and gasps. "We have to go, now!" He exclaims. You both jump up but you pause, "Wait! I gotta shower, do my hair-"
"Less talking and more doing!" Ethan pushes you to the stairs, and you begin sprinting up them, almost running into your mom. She steps aside to let you pass, a mix of surprise and amusement on her face as she watches you go.
Quickly you take a shower and change into a clean set of clothes. Not before fixing your hair and spraying on cologne, you head downstairs, ready and excited. Ethan is waiting for you, a satisfied smirk on his face, and together you leave.
When you arrive at the arcade you see Mia and Vada. Mia's smiling and waving excitedly at you both while Vada kicks a nearby rock. You both walk over and Mia gives Ethan a big hug.
Vada stands off to the side, her arms crossed but a small smile on her face. You look around and see the arcade bustling with activity, and you know you're in for a night of fun. "Hey, guys!" Ethan says, smiling. You look at Vada, and your heart beats like crazy.
"Hey, Vada." She smiles. "Ready for a night of fun?" she asks, her eyes twinkling. You can only nod as you follow the couple into the arcade. Almost immediately, Ethan and Mia go off and do their own thing leaving you and Vada alone.
Vada points to a game ahead of you. "Let's see who can get the highest score," she says with a mischievous smile. You nod and the two of you start to play. After a few minutes of intense competition, Vada ends up with the highest score.
She laughs and celebrates her victory, and you can't help but smile widely. "If I knew you were such a sore winner I would've tried harder." Vada gives you a playful shove and giggles. "You'll have to try harder next time!" she says. The two of you soon move on to the next game.
In watching you press the start button, Vada admits, "I'm bad at basketball." You pick up a ball, looking at her smiling. "That's ok, I'm pretty bad at it too," you reply. She furrows her eyebrows, "I thought you played basketball?" You shoot the ball, and it doesn't even hit the rim.
"Actually-" She starts, and you let out a loud laugh. She joins in your laughter. "I play football," you say continuing the shoot the remaining balls in front of you.
"But like aren't you supposed to at least have good accuracy? A blind person could shoot better than you." You chuckle, "I'm more of a receiver, not a quarterback." You shoot the last ball which ends up bouncing out of the cage from hitting the rim.
You catch the ball easily, placing it down. She shakes her head and grins. "I stand by my statement. You're terrible." She presses the button, picking up the basketball in front of her. "Watch and learn."
The first one she shoots goes in, "Lucky shot." You mumble, and she smiles in response. The second one also goes in, and the third and fourth too. "You lied to me. You said you sucked." She laughs, and sets up the next shot. "I never said I was suck, I just said I was bad." She takes the shot and it swishes through the net. "What the fuck?"
She turns to you and grins. "You see? I told you I was bad, not suck." You can only stare in amazement as she lines up the next shot and scores again. She laughs and walks away, leaving you in awe. "You lied!" You yell out as you follow her. She laughs again. "I'll let you in on a secret."
She stops and turns around, her face serious. "In order to score all the shots, you have to aim for the back of the rim. And then once you do that, calculate how much power you're putting into your shot. That way you'll be able to get a better idea of the trajectory the ball will take. And you'll have a better chance of making the shot." You squint your eyes at the girl, tilting your head a bit.
She bites her lip in response. Adorable, she thinks. "How do you know all of that? Or like, how'd you even figure that out?" She shrugs, a smirk playing on her lips. "I came here before with Quinton." Your eyes widen in surprise. "Really? You two are...close?"
"We're friends." Is all she says. She looks away and takes a deep breath. "But yeah, he's a good friend." She smiles and looks back up at you, her eyes twinkling. "Wanna get something to drink?"
You nod and smile, and the two of you head to grab a drink. "Look, I'm gonna show you how to make the best slushie you'll ever fucking taste in your life." You grab a cup, joining Vada in front of the slushie machine.
Vada begins to explain the steps, and you find yourself getting more and more invested in the process. You join in, and together you prepare the perfect slushie. You take a sip and it's everything Vada promised. "Wow."
"Right!" Vada grins with satisfaction. Your eyes look around the arcade and you notice Ethan and Mia shooting water blasters at the target together. "You know, they're kind of cute together." Vada looks at the two, nodding in agreement. "It was bound to happen eventually. She's been crushing on the guy since sixth grade."
You furrow your eyebrows, your head snapping at the shorter girl next to you. "Really? Ethan too!" Vada laughs, a smile on her face. "That's crazy. It's been obvious to everyone but them." She turns back to the two, watching them laugh and shoot water blasters in sync. "They just need to tell each other how they feel."
"I mean...It's not that simple." You say, taking another sip of your slushie. Vada shrugs. "It's worth a try. I mean, what have they got to lose?" You shake your head. "I don't know. It's a risk they might not want to take."
You're beginning to wonder if you're talking about Ethan or yourself. Vada looks at you with a knowing look. "You never know. Sometimes taking a risk can be the best thing to do." You take a deep breath, considering her words. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"I'm glad you agreed to come, I would've been third-wheeling the entire night." You laugh, "I'm glad I came too." You never know. Sometimes taking a risk can be the best thing to do. Vada's words basically repeat in your head, "I uh, I've actually been wanting to talk to you for a while." You admit.
She looks surprised but pleased. "Really? I had no idea!" You nod and smile, feeling relieved that you finally said it. "Yeah! I just didn't know how to approach you." She smiles, her dimples appearing on her cheeks. "Dude, it's not like I would've bit you if you tried to make a conversation with me."
You both laugh and the tension between you dissipates. She looks at you, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "So, what do you want to talk about?" You shrug, using your straw to stir around your drink. "Favorite color?"
"Easy. All of them." She smiles and takes a sip of her drink. "I guess I can't argue with that. Favourite movie?" She pauses for a moment, thinking. "It's hard to pick just one, but I think it's The Staircase. I watched it a thousand times." You hum, "I've never watched it before."
"Wait, what?" She shakes her head in disbelief. "You have to watch it. It's a classic!" You shrug. "I'll watch it. What's it about?" She grins. "It's about this white guy who murders his second wife, and probably his first wife, and gets away with both."
You look at her, surprised. "That sounds intense. Is it a true story?" She laughs. "No, it's a movie. You'll love it. What's yours?"
You open your mouth to speak but she cuts you off. "Lemme guess. Tom Brady Documentary: True Stories." You start to laugh. "Yeah, that's it. It's a classic." She laughs. "See, I knew it!"
"But actually, it has to be How To Build a Better Boy." You say, watching her face to see her reaction. She looks shocked, "Wait that one sappy Disney movie?"
"It's not sappy." She laughs, "Yeah, right. I'm sure it's full of life lessons and cheesy dialogues." You smirk, "Maybe, but it's still worth watching."
She shakes her head, "I don't believe you. There's no way it can be that good." You shrug, "Trust me. I promise you won't regret it." Vada takes another sip of her drink, only to realize she's finished it. She looks up at you with a questioning gaze.
You smile and offer her some of your drink. "Trust me how I trusted you to make this drink." Vada hesitates, then takes the drink from you. "Okay. I'll watch it tonight, and then first thing in the morning I'll tell you if it was good or bad."
You nod and watch her take a sip. "You'd need my number for that." She smiles, takes out her phone and hands it to you. You add your number, then hand it back. "I'll be waiting for your call then." You wink and she laughs, taking another sip of the drink.
Ethan and Mia make their way toward you two, smiles on their faces. "You guys ready to go?" You both nod, and you all make your way out of the arcade. You all walk out, the cool night air bringing a sense of peace. You and the girl share a glance, and she smiles. You both head to your respective cars and drive off in different directions.
"How was it with Vada?" You reply, "It was great. She's a really cool girl." Ethan smiles and you ask him how it went with Mia. "We had our first kiss." Ethan's face lit up with excitement. "WHEN?"
He shyly looks away and replies, "Just a few minutes ago. You missed it being too oo la la with Vada." You roll your eyes smiling and give him a high five. Ethan grins and says, "It was amazing." He then pulls out of the parking lot, turning on his blinker and making a left towards your place.
Meanwhile, in Mia's car, she and Vada are talking about you. Mia teases Vada about her crush on you. Vada blushes and laughs, still a little embarrassed. "I mean she's cute and I can tell she really likes you."
Vada looked away, still blushing. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said, laughing. Mia just smiled and shook her head. As soon as Vada got home she was questioned by her mom.
Vada quickly changed the subject, not wanting her mom to know what had happened. Vada's mother gave her a knowing look but didn't press the issue. Instead, she just said, "Well, I'm glad you had a good time." Vada smiled and nodded, grateful that her mom hadn't pushed the matter any further.
She fell against the couch, hesitating before turning on How To Build a Better Boy, your favourite movie. The movie started and Vada felt a sense of relief as her mom left the room. She curled up in her blanket and let herself get lost in the movie.
"Perfect boy but his name is Albert! And how'd he get a car...plus why'd he just throw his keys to a random guy?" Vada mumbles to herself, confused at the logic of the movie.
She giggled at the absurdity of it all, hoping the movie would eventually make sense. Despite the silliness, she couldn't help but be drawn in by the characters and their stories. Vada watched with anticipation as the movie unfolded, eager to find out what would happen next.
Until Amelia comes down, standing in front of the TV. Vada groans at her little sister, "Dude. I'm trying to watch something." Amelia turns to her with a small frown, "I wanna watch too." Vada reluctantly scoots over to make room for her, rolling her eyes in an attempt to hide her growing smile. They cuddle up on the couch, ready for whatever the movie had in store.
The sisters watched the movie, laughing and pointing out silly things until it was time for bed. Vada tucked Amelia in, giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, before heading off to dreamland herself.
When you woke up in the morning the first thing you did was grab your phone, checking for any recent messages. You felt a wave of disappointment as you saw that no one had messaged you. You decided to go downstairs to make breakfast.
Your mom had already left for work, so it was just you and your cat, Goose. You started making a simple omelet. It was one of your go-to recipes. But gosh, was it delicious.
As you ate the omelet, you had a moment of peace, just you and your cat, and the warm and comforting taste of the omelet. Goose jumps onto the table, meowing in your face. "Goose down."
Goose meows in protest, but eventually jumps off the table. You take a deep breath, savouring the last bite of the omelet. You look down at Goose and smile, "I'll make sure to give you a treat later." Goose purrs in response, contentedly rubbing against your leg. You get up to clean the kitchen, and your phone goes off in the middle of the dishes.
xxx-xxx-xxxx - ok. i'd admit it's a very good movie
You smile, she had finally texted you.
you - see it's not sappy, but a work of art
vada - i wouldnt take it that far
you - lol, i still have to watch the stairless
Three dots appear on the screen, then disappear. You frown, continuing to wash the dishes. You pause and turn off the water, drying your hands. You pick up your phone again, Vada had texted back.
vada - we could watch it at my place
you - when?
vada - today if u want
you - ok sure
you - send me ur address
You ring the doorbell, shifting your weight from one leg to the other anxiously. "Mom! Do not open the-" The muffled voice stops once the door is swung open. You stand there, frozen, unable to move. The blonde woman smiles at you, "Hi! You must be Vada's friend. Mia is it?" You shake your head, hearing a groan come from inside the house. "Mom, this is Y/N."
You smile awkwardly, feeling embarrassed. Mom chuckled and stepped aside, motioning for you to come in. You nervously step inside, smiling at the woman who let you in.
Vada sends you a wave which you return, placing your hands in your pocket. You take a deep breath as you take in your surroundings. The home was warm and inviting, with decorations all around the place.
You follow Vada, who leads you to the living room. She offers you a seat and you sit down, feeling somewhat more at ease. "Sorry about that." You wave it off, "It's fine. She seems sweet."
"If sweet means extremely noisy and out of touch with this generation, then yes. She's very sweet." Vada sighs and sits down on the couch next to you. You can't help but laugh at her comment. She shakes her head and smiles. "She means well, I suppose." She says with a shrug.
You lean further back into the red couch, as Vada picks up the remote turning on The Stairless. Vada and you sit back and watch the movie, exchanging comments and laughs. Time passes quickly, and soon enough you both find yourselves lost in the story. "Off the bat, I knew he killed his first wife." You laugh, slightly turning your head to Vada. "I'm telling you, he did it!" Vada exclaimed.
You both chuckle and then continued watching the movie. As the movie plays, the closer you two get. Now leaning into each other, you can feel the warmth of Vada's body as your hands occasionally brush against each other.
Your conversations become more meaningful, and the laughs become genuine. The movie fades away, and all that's left is the two of you, living in the moment.
As the credits rolled, you both looked at each other in amazement. "That was one hell of a movie," you say. "I told you. That movie is the shit." You sit up a bit, your shoulder brushing against Vadas. "Okay, rate How to Build a Better Boy and then I'll rate this."
Vada takes a moment to think, then finally responds. "It was an 8/10 for me," she says. "I really enjoyed it. How about mine?" You pause to consider the movie before finally saying, "Hmm, I'd give it a 9/10. Definitely worth watching again."
Vada grins. "I knew you'd like it." She leans back against the couch and stretches her arms out. "I'm glad we got to watch it together." You give her a smile and nod in agreement.
You give her a smile and nod in agreement. You both take a few minutes to relax in the comfortable silence. Then, you break it.
"I'm really craving one of your slushies." Vada laughs. "Wanna get one?" You nod and she jumps up, pulling you up from the couch. "Let's get Albert!" Furrowing your eyebrows, you both head out the door. "Albert?"
Vada laughs again. "I was thinking about it and you literally are the fully human version of him, except you don't really look alike." You roll your eyes, but you can't help but laugh. "Albert's a douche, I'm not a douche."
Vada snorts as you unlock your chair door, getting inside together. "Albert is not a douche. He's a sweet young boy who cares about his girlfriend, and he's really good at football."
You can't help but smile, shaking your head. "Yeah, okay, maybe he's not a douche." Vada grins as you start the engine. "Exactly. So therefore you're Albert." You chuckle and put the car in gear. "Are you trying to say that I'm perfect and really good at football?"
She laughs."No, I'm saying you're not a douche. Now let's go! The slurpies are calling my name." You roll your eyes and drive away, the two of you laughing as you go.
Since that day you've been texting Vada non-stop. She doesn't seem to mind it either. You feel like you can talk to her about anything. And to add to that, you've also been talking during school. Vada had even come over to meet your cat, when your mom was at work. You two have become really close over the past few weeks. Every day you look forward to talking to her and spending time with her. You can't help but feel like you are falling for her.
"Are you coming to my game tonight?" Vada smiled at you and nodded. You felt your heart flutter. You knew for sure, you were starting to fall in love. "Yeah, of course. Even though I barely understand football." You laugh at her response, leaning into the lockers. She smiles back, her eyes twinkling. "I'll explain the rules to you," you say, your voice soft as it can be. Vada can feel her heart skip a beat, and you smile at her.
She looked away for a moment, then back into your eyes. "But if you don't carry four people on your shoulders and score like Albert, then I'm leaving mid-game." She jokes causing you to smile. You tried to think of a witty reply, but all you could do was laugh. "I'll try my best."
She smiled and put her hand on your shoulder. "That's all I ask." She patted your shoulder and walked away. You watched her leave, feeling content with your exchange. Ethan, who you didn't notice was behind you places a hand on your shoulder.
You jump in surprise. "Jesus!" He laughs. "You should relax, man. I didn't mean to scare you." He removed his hand and stepped back. You take a deep breath and let it out, relieved.
"What were you guys talking about?" You shrug, "Nothing important. She's coming to our game tonight." Ethan's eyes widen in shock, "Are you serious?" "Yeah, why?" You reply, slightly confused. He shakes his head, "Nothing, just... Mia asked herself and Vada said no."
"Hm..." You hum, unsure of what to take from the situation. "I don't know maybe she changed her mind last second." A goofy smile makes its way onto Ethan's face, "Or maybeeeeee... she likes you."
You look away, blushing. "No way," you say, shaking your head. "She's definitely not interested in me that way." Ethan gives you a knowing look. "You've been talking for weeks. I've seen the way she looks at you," he says. "You should ask her out dude." You hesitate, not sure if you should take his advice.
The bell rings, and you look at Ethan with a smirk. "Saved by the bell." Ethan rolls his eyes and laughs. "Just ask her," he says, and you cover your ears humming as you walk through the hallway.
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"Check, check! Elvis, Elvis!" Ethan yells. You look at the cornerback in front of you, and give Ethan a thumbs up. You take a deep breath and get into your stance. You know that if you can get past the cornerback, and potentially win your team some yards. You focus on the cornerback and wait for the snap.
The snap comes and you explode off the line. You easily beat the cornerback and break into the open field. You know you have a chance to make a big play and you sprint as fast as you can. Ethan throws the ball to you, and you catch it successfully.
Only making it to the 45-yard line before you're tackled. The crowd erupts in cheers as you get up from the tackle, smiling. You know you've made a huge play and energized your team. As you jog back to the huddle, you can feel the momentum shifting in your favour.
The team regroups and prepares for the next play. Everyone is pumped up and ready to take it to the end zone. Ethan calls the next play and the team breaks the huddle, ready for action. Ethan snaps the ball, handing it off to the running back who earns just about 8 yards from the play. It's third down, and you need 10 more yards to get to first.
Ethan calls out the next play and the team runs it perfectly. The running back manages to break free and run for 20 yards, giving the team a first down. The team cheers in excitement as they get a fresh set of downs and move closer to the end zone. "Y/N," you perk up at the sound of your name, "Be ready." You nod as Ethan pats your helmet.
You take a deep breath as you prepare yourself for the next play. You watch as Ethan signals the play and the team begins running it. You run up to the line of scrimmage, ready to make your move.
You see a gap in the defence and make your move, sprinting forward. You catch the football with both hands and take off, running for the endzone. You feel the wind in your face as you cross the goal line and score the touchdown.
The crowd erupts in cheers as you spike the ball in celebration. You jog back to the sidelines, feeling a sense of accomplishment and pride. You know you just made a game-winning play.
Meanwhile, Vada is in the stands beside Mia yelling, "GOAALLLLLLLLL!" Mia and Vada jump up and down excitedly, hugging each other in joy. The crowd continues to cheer as you take off your helmet and raise your arm in triumph. You feel a deep sense of satisfaction knowing that your hard work has paid off.
You wave to your mom who waves back, a huge smile on her face. "That's what I'm talking about!" Your coach saying patting your back. You take off your helmet, rubbing the sweat off your forehead with your towel. "Just one more touchdown and we've made it to the playoffs, baby."
You take a moment to take in the sound of the cheering crowd and the feel of the cool night air. The team gathers together in a huddle, the defensive team heading onto the field.
As the players take their positions on the field, the energy in the stadium is palpable. The coaches call out the plays and the team readies for the snap. The opposite team's quarterback takes the ball and the game resumes.
Thankfully your defensive side was able to stop the other team, and you're back on the field. Your team huddles up and the coach gives the next play. You take your position and get ready for the snap. As the ball is snapped, you make your move and the play is underway.
You make a break for the end zone, dodging and weaving past the other team's defence. Catching the ball with ease, you can feel the cheers of the crowd getting louder as you get closer. You feel someone hop on your back, but you continue running.
You keep going until you cross the goal line and score the winning touchdown. The crowd erupts as you raise your arms in victory. You look back to see your opponent still on your back, frustrated and disappointed.
The referee quickly signals for a touchdown and you can see the joy on your teammates' faces. You look back at your opponent and offer a friendly handshake to congratulate them on a good game. The team celebrates your victory as the crowd continues to roar.
You run to the sidelines, ecstatic about the win. The coaches congratulate you on your performance and the team gathers for a group hug. You look into the stands and see Vada staring back at you, her mouth open in shock. You take off your helmet, dropping it on the ground before holding up a heart.
Vada smiles and laughs, she mimes a heart back to you, and you smile widely. Ethan brings you into a tight hug, patting your back, "HELL YEAH!" You finally feel the euphoria of a victory. You had worked so hard and it had all paid off.
You look back at the field one last time, taking in the feeling of success before you turn to join your team in their celebration. You have made it, and nothing can take this moment away from you.
Moments pass and the entire team makes its way into the locker room. Everyone is in high spirits, laughing, hugging and even dancing to the sound of the music playing in the background. You can't help but smile, happy about the win.
As the team disperses, the coach takes you aside. He looks you in the eye and says "I'm proud of you. Great job today." You feel a thank him before leaving the locker room, walking outside to the front of the school building.
Ethan, Mia, and Vada are already there waiting. Once Vada sees you she runs to you, basically jumping into your arms. You hug her tightly, feeling a warmth inside. "You did it!" She shouts, her eyes bright with excitement.
"You like actually carried that guy onto your back? I told you you're Albert!" You laugh and hug her again. "Thanks, Vada." You are interrupted by a throat being cleared, and it's your mom.
"Hey, Ma." Your mom smiles at you, holding out her arms and you step into them, contentment washing over you. She pulls away slightly, with a proud smile and says, "You should be proud of yourself, Y/N. You did something remarkable today."
You smile, feeling a warmth in my chest. "I'm glad you think so," She hugs you again and says, "I always have, sweetheart. Now go hang out with your friends." You smile wider, feeling a warmth in your chest and your eyes start to mist.
You hug her tightly and thank her, before turning to go. You pause for a moment and look back, feeling so thankful for the unconditional love you have been given.
"TIME TO PARTYYYYY!" Ethan shouts from beside Mia, who joins him. You shake your head at the two, turning to Vada who raises her head, joining in as well. You can't help but laugh at their enthusiasm and join in, feeling the energy of the night.
The four of you make your way towards Max's house. He's known for throwing the best parties at your school, but you've never gone to any of them. You've never really had a reason to, but now you kind of do.
You knock on the door and Max welcomes you all in. The house is filled with people, and loud music and the air is thick with laughter and energy. You can feel a sense of anticipation and excitement as you all take in the scene.
You look around and take it all in, feeling a bit overwhelmed but excited. You make your way through the crowd, looking for a place to sit down and relax. You finally find a spot and settle in, ready to enjoy the party. "No way you're sitting down at a party," Vada says from beside you. You swallow your drink before sending a small smile at her.
She grins and grabs your hand, leading you to the dining room. "We're gonna play beer pong. I hope you have better accuracy."
"Any challengers?" A dark-haired boy says from the other side of the table, his friend close by. "Yeah." You speak up, wrapping an arm around Vada's shoulders. "Me and her," Vada smiles, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Ready to go?" you ask, and she nods.
The boy nods, "Okay. But just know beer pong is my calling." You and Vada exchange a knowing look, and you set up the table. The game begins and you soon find yourself in a heated battle with the dark-haired boy.
It's drink after drink, throw after throw, and soon the game is over. The boy is declared the winner with a triumphant grin on his face. Vada and you exchange an impressed look and congratulate him on his victory.
"I can't believe he won that." You mutter, a bit tipsy. Vada shakes her head, "I can. You still suck at aiming balls into stuff." You laugh and throw your hands up in defeat. "You're right, I do. But maybe I'll get better one day." You continue following Vada around the party until she suggests something.
"Wanna get high?" You look around the party and then back at Vada, "Let's do it." She smiles and grabs your hand, leading you away from the party. You quickly found a secluded corner outside, and she produced a joint from her pocket. Taking a lighter from her other pocket, "You always have a lighter and a joint in your pocket?"
She laughed, "No but... I knew I'd be going to this party. I wanted to prepare myself." You hum with a nod, Vada's eyes leave the joint before meeting yours. "Have you done this before?" You shake your head, "No. I haven't.."
She smiles, takes the joint and takes a deep breath. "It's ok, I'll show you how."Vada inhaled, and slowly exhaled. She passed the joint back to you and said, "Just take a tiny puff. Don't hold it in, just let it out." You took the joint and followed her advice. You felt a tingle in your chest as the smoke lingered in the air. You coughed a bit, but it was a good feeling. You exhaled and smiled. "See? Not so bad."
You handed the joint back to Vada, feeling a bit more at ease. You sit down on the grass, and Vada joins you laughing. "Just wait till it hits."  You close your eyes and lean your head back, savouring the moment.
You feel the warm sun on your skin and the cool grass beneath you. You can feel the effects of the marijuana start to take hold, and a peaceful calm overtakes you. "I wonder what kind of high you'll be."
"There kinds?" You smile and nod, feeling content. "There's the body high, the mental high, and the spiritual high. Each one has its own unique experience." You take a deep breath and sigh, feeling the effects of the marijuana wash over you.
You close your eyes and relax, feeling the tension in your body slowly dissipate. You smile, feeling a sense of peace and clarity that you hadn't felt in a long time. You open your eyes and take another deep breath, feeling a deep sense of connection to the world around you.
"I wonder who wrote the script for How to Build a Better Boy," Vada's eyes widen. She can't believe that's what you're talking about mid-smoke. You laugh and shrug. "It's just something I thought of. I was just trying to relax." She smiles, understanding. "Well, it seems like it worked. You look much calmer now."
You take a deep breath and smile. "Yeah, I guess it did. I'm glad I was able to take my mind off things for a bit." Vada nods in agreement, then takes a deep drag from the joint. You both take a moment to enjoy the silence and the feeling of companionship.
You turn to the shorter girl, smiling. "I wanna kiss you. Badly, I've been wanting to kiss you, but now I just really really really-" You're cut off by a pair of lips onto yours. You close your eyes and kiss her back, savouring the moment. When you pull away, you can't help but smile.
You look into her eyes and feel a warmth inside you that you never thought was possible. "I've been wanting to kiss you too." You smile wider, bringing her back into an intense kiss.
Bringing the girl into your lap, gripping her waist tightly. You can feel her heart pounding against your own. You can feel her body relax into your embrace as you kiss her more passionately. You don't know if this is just Vada or the cannabis you've inhaled, but this is definitely one of the best kisses you've had.
She pulls away and smiles at you, her eyes twinkling. You can feel the electricity between you, like something that will never be broken. You know this moment will stay with you forever.
She leans in and whispers in your ear, "I love you." You can feel your heart swell at the words. You hold her close and whisper back, "I love you too." Everything around you fades away and all that is left is the two of you in this moment. You kiss her tenderly as your hearts beat in unison.
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"You've gotta be quiet!" Vada whisper yells at you, trying her best to support your weight. You nod and press your lips together, trying your best to muffle the sound of your breathing.
You feel Vada's arms tremble as she carries you through the darkness. You can sense her fear. "Ma is probably..." You start snoring and begin laughing at your own joke.
Hopefully, your mother is sleeping because of the way you're acting right now, she'd definitely tell if you're not sober. Vada stops walking and scolds you.
She tells you to keep quiet and you quickly apologize. You try to remain quiet for the remainder of the journey, but you can't help but feel a bit of excitement as you approach your bedroom.
On the second to last step, there's a creaking noise. You both tense up at the sound, waiting there a few moments before resuming your movements.
"Are we gonna make out, V?" Vada blushes, a slight smile playing on her lips. "Shh, we're almost to your room." You make it to the room, closing the door behind you. Vada then pushes you onto the bed, plopping down beside you with a heavy sigh.
You begin giggling, turning to the girl beside you. She smiles, leaning in closer. You close your eyes, feeling her warm breath on your face. You both press your lips together, eagerly exploring each other.
Your heart races as you feel her hands on your back. You break away, looking into her eyes. You both share a knowing smile, "Are you sober enough to consent?" You nod, "Yes. Now hurry... sober thoughts and drunk thoughts."
Vada laughs at your mess-up, fuck it. She was high as hell as well. She was just handling it way better than you.
You both kissed again, feeling the warmth as your bodies pressed against each other. You felt the alcohol between you, but you both knew that you were sober enough to make a conscious decision. Your hearts were pounding as you embraced each other, both of you eager for more.
You pull away, climbing onto of Vada. Vada smiles up at you as you look deep into her eyes. You lean in and kiss them passionately, your hands exploring her body. You two stay like this for what feels like an eternity, until finally you pull away, and you begin undressing.
You throw your hoodie away, and try to rip apart your white tank top but fail. Vada notices your frustration and giggles, then helps you take off your tank top, revealing your toned abs. She smiles, before reaching up and kissing you again.
She then fumbles with the buttons of your pants, and pulls them down, before pushing you onto the bed. She climbs on top of you, and begins to passionately kiss your neck and chest. You can feel her hands trailing up and down your body as she continues to kiss you.
She moves her hands to your back and pulls you closer. You can feel her breath on your skin as she whispers into your ear. She then moves her lips to yours and you become lost in the moment.
You pull away slightly, "Vada take off your damn clothes." You say fiddling with her shirt. She complies taking off her bra as well. Your mouth moves to her chest, kissing, licking and suckling as your hands wander to her shorts. You slip them off her hips, leaving her in just her panties.
She moans in pleasure as you continue your ministrations.
You move your hands further down, gently stroking her inner thighs. You pause, taking in her beauty before slowly slipping off her panties.
She smiles at you, her desire and anticipation palpable in the air. "My heart is racing so much," she admits, smiling. "Mine too," you reply, leaning in to kiss her.
Her lips are soft and inviting, and you can feel the heat of her body radiating around you. You both lose yourself in the moment, the anticipation of what's to come envelops you both.
You flip her over, laying her on her back. You begin to explore her body with your hands. Her skin is soft and smooth beneath your fingertips. She moans softly, her eyes closed in pleasure. "Y/N..."
You move your hands up and down her body, exploring every inch of her. She gasps softly as you reach her most sensitive areas. You press your lips against her clit, sending waves of pleasure through her body.
She grabs hold of your hair, her moans getting louder as you keep going. You feel her body quiver beneath you as you continue to pleasure her, her breathing becoming rapid and her body shaking with pleasure.
You can feel her nearing her climax and you increase the intensity of your motions, pushing her over the edge. Her body convulses with pleasure as she reaches her orgasm. "Ohmygod."
You kiss her body as she recovers from her orgasm, her breathing slowly returning to normal. She looks up at you with a satisfied smile, her eyes still filled with pleasure. You return her smile, happy to have been able to bring her pleasure.
You feel yourself hard against your underwear, and you know that you're ready for your own pleasure. You pull her closer to you and whisper in her ear, letting her know that you're ready. She responds with a mischievous grin, her hand moving to pleasure you.
You moan as her hand slides up and down, the pleasure building inside you. She moves her lips to yours, her tongue exploring your mouth as her hand continues to work its magic.
You can feel yourself getting closer to the edge, and you grab her hand to slow her down. She smiles in understanding and pulls away, the pleasure ebbing away. You look into each other's eyes, and you both know that this is only the beginning. "I'm gonna grab a condom." You mumble, rushing off the bed and into your drawer.
She nods in agreement, and you can sense the anticipation in the air. You come back to the bed, and she eagerly takes the condom from you. Opening the gold wrapper, you take out the condom and unroll it onto yourself, before moving to lie on top of her.
She wraps her arms around you as you take a deep breath as you slowly slide inside her, and you both gasp in pleasure.
You both moan in pleasure as you start to move, and she wraps her legs around you. You start to build up momentum, faster and faster, as you move together. The friction of the condom creates a warm, smooth sensation that sends pleasure through both of you with each thrust.
With each movement, you feel your connection with her deepen and you can feel the sensations in both your bodies become more intense.
"Vada," you sigh out, resting your head in the nape of her shoulder. She looks up at you and smiles, her eyes twinkling in the dim light. You kiss her softly and she wraps her arms around you tightly.
You can feel the warmth radiating from her body and you feel the love you have for her in that moment. You want to stay like this forever and the thought of having to part from her is too much to bear. You tightly embrace her and whisper that you love her. You feel her body trembling as she returns the embrace.
"I'm about to cum." She moans into your ear as she cums. You feel her body quivering and it sends waves of pleasure throughout your body. You hold her tight as you release as well. You collapse onto the bed, panting heavily. You lay there in each other's arms for a few moments, basking in the afterglow of your lovemaking. You kiss each other tenderly and drift off to sleep.
"Was I your first time?" She replies with a soft whisper, "No, Mia was." Your head snaps to her and she laughs, sighing out shortly after.
You take a moment to process what she said. "Really?" She nods, "It happened... multiple times... the fifth week of school." You take a deep breath and look away for a moment, trying to contain your confusion.
"Was I yours?" You shake your head smiling, "No, Ethan was." She lets out a loud laugh at your joke, laying her head on your chest. You take a deep breath and hold her close.
You feel a wave of emotions wash over you, grateful for the moment of comfort. You are filled with a sense of peace, knowing that you have someone to talk to and share your feelings with.
"I need to shower." You say. Vada nods rolling over. "You can join me, but you gotta be quiet." You smile, "Oh, you're telling me to be quiet now?"
You chuckle and lead her into the bathroom. You both take your time showering, enjoying the warmth of the water and each other's company. After, you dry off and return to your bedroom, both content and peaceful.
You wake up to a shout of your name. Looking to your left you notice Vada is still sound asleep. "Fuck," you rush up out of bed putting on your clothes before nearly darting downstairs to the kitchen, following the smell of breakfast.
Your mother is standing over the stove. Three plates of eggs and bacon already waiting for you on the table. She gives you a stern look before turning back to the stove. "There are three..." You mutter to her confused.
She points to the plates. "One for you, one for your girlfriend, and one for me. Now wake her up and come and eat."
You sheepishly smile turning on your heels to go wake up Vada.
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eccentricwritingbaby · 8 months
Text
baby, incoming!
carlos sainz x fem!singer!reader
summary - you and carlos have been married for over a year now and you’ve gone MIA. what could be the reason? new music or a new beginning? maybe both?
fc - emrata
masterlist
-
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Liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, yourusername and 345,765 others
scuderiaferrari our boys are ready, tifosi! are you? #MexicoGP
username they are so attractive its crazy
username lets all pray ladies and gents that there will be a ferrari double podium
username now that is a reach but im right there with you
carlossainz55 ready as always!
username do we think yourusername will actually be there… she hasnt been to the last like 4 gp’s 
username idk but im hoping mothers absence is bc of a new album drop
username omggg pleaseee ive been needing her music
charles_leclerc <3
“and you’re sure you’ll be alright while i’m gone, mi amor?” carlos asks you for what feels like the hundredth time as he is packing up his suitcase. you sigh, walking out of your shared closet and placing another one of his clean ferrari polos into the suitcase and then heading to take a seat on the bed next to his luggage.
“quierdo, soy perfecto. i am pregnant, not dying. now please stop worrying about me while your parents as well as mine stay down the street. i am not alone, mi amor, and you are my first call if anything happens,” carlos listens carefully as he forgets about packing momentarily to come stand between your legs that were dangling off the bed, you reach out as he moves closer to hold both of his hands in yours in order for him to receive the message fully, “porfa, i will be fine just like i have been before,”
carlos gives a quick squeeze to your hands and a brief kiss on your forehead as he soaks in the words he was just told, “yo sé, cariño. i just hate missing everything and leaving you while you need me,” the guilty, solemn look on his face is enough for you to quickly stand, remove his hands from yours and wrap your arms tight around him.
he reciprocates the hug quickly with his hands finding your waist with a firm grip, “mi amor you've been there for me constantly and will be there for our baby once they come; besides me being stuck at home will finally give me an excuse to finish out my album so you have no reason to feel guilty,” you slowly loosen your grip in order to look into his warm, inviting eyes yet his hands never leave your waist.
he gives you a short kiss and then begins to speak up once more, “i just wish we could announce you’re pregnant already so that i could be with you, i hate being apart already and this just makes it harder,” he leans his forehead on yours as his hands disappear from your waist in order to lightly begin caressing your small yet prominent bump, “i know, my love, but my manager would kill me if she could not find a way to make one short announcement work in my albums favor, even if it means capitalizing on my baby,” you say with a short laugh.
carlos just smiles on with you by saying, “welcome to hollywood,” there is then a small kiss, a finished packing job, a sad goodbye and then a long plane ride for carlos as he arrives for the mexico grand prix. 
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carlossainz_fanpage looks like carlos is riding solo again, now for the mexican gp … trouble in paradise? new music? baby bump? who knows but i miss our mother
username it looks like hes still wearing his ring in the pictures of him arriving and all the ones ive seen
username oh thank god bc i cannot handle being a child of divorce rn
username me neither i rlly hope its the complete opposite and us children are gaining a brother or sister
username omgggg i hope she is pregnant she’d just be the cutest
username pleaseeee i need an album from her its been like two years now i cant take it
username RIGHT?! she got married and abandoned us :/
you had already received a text from carlos telling you that he landed and was heading to his hotel and then the paddock and he would call you later.
something about his words earlier had been sticking with you all day in the back of your head, ‘i hate being apart already and this just makes it harder’.
you and carlos had known each other before the fame with your parents being friends and the both of you have dated throughout it. you rarely were apart as you would go to almost all his races and travel with him and in turn during his breaks you would tour and he would tag right along. it had always worked beautifully since the flexibility of your job allowed you to work from ultimately anywhere, therefore why not spend it following and being with the love of your life? the distance from carlos was difficult, not even remotely from distrust or anything negative, just the simplicity of missing out.
you made a fast but firm decision and began to pack a bag. you gave a quick call to your mother in law informing her of your plan and letting her know you’d be by soon to drop off the dogs and then she began to insist she even drive you to the airport.
she has always loved you like a daughter for as long as you and carlos have been together claiming ‘she is just so good for him, no sé’.
then there is a quick flight, a large hoodie thrown on, and a pregnant y/n waiting right outside carlos’ hotel door.
your hand is brought up and with a sharp knock you stand still simply waiting. carlos takes a minute to open the door and as he does his eyes immediately light up, “y/n!” he makes haste to pull you into his room and into his arms immediately, “qué haces aquí?”
“ay! you’re asking me what i’m doing here instead of a long i love you my beautiful wife thank you for coming,” you mock and joke as he continues to rock you back and forth in his hold.
“lo siento, amor, gracias para coming all this way,” he leans back to look into your eyes while one of his hands finds its way to your bump,
“i was just confused because everyone is going to see, no?” he continues. you nod and begin to laugh while saying, “to be completely honest, carlos, i dont give a fuck. my fans will either buy my album or won't, it doesn't depend on our child. and i for sure am not going to miss out on seeing you race or rob you from any papi/baby time just for a stupid album,” he listens to you speak while his eyes begin to glisten over with happiness, “y/n, i’m so happy porfa can we post now so that i can take you out to a nice dinner and we can actually be people again,” he finishes off his sentence with a laugh.
you just simply smile, nod and give him his answer in a long-awaited passionate kiss. “gracias dios,” he whispers against your lips with a small sigh as you just let out a giggle.
you were a bit nervous before but now after being with carlos and seeing his relief you know you made the right decision. 
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yourusername and carlossainz55 baby sainz coming soon <3
comments on this post have been disabled.
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y/ncarlos_updates PREGGERS Y/N ARRIVING IN THE PADDOCK TODAY!
username holyyyyy shit she looks so good
username MOTHER IS AN ACTUAL MOTHER
username and our daddy is about to be an actual daddy!!
username they are going to be the most attractive parents ever
username stop im so happy for them this is so cute
username their entire childhood bff to lovers trope and now they’re having a baby like dream come true
username no fr its like watching them grow up before our eyes its so cute
username shes still got such good style even when pregnant i am green with envy rn
username that makes two of us
username u just know the gc is blowing up rn with which driver is going to be godfather
username we all know that if it is a driver itll be landonorris
landonorris damn right
username WHAT THE FU-
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aita for avoiding my husband on purpose, like, all the time? my husband (m36) and i (f34) have been married for almost 10 years (anniversary in a few months). we have 3 kids (m10, f8, f1) and he works full time while i stay at home. even before we got married i didnt really have friends other than him, and i always had a hard time finding excuses to get out of the house. frequently, he gets to hang out with his buddies who he also works with, and ever since we had kids he's always going out and leaving me home alone even when hes not at work just to idk. hang out at bars and pretend we don't exist. well lately ive been making time for myself to go out when the kids are at school (my youngest is pretty well behaved so i just take her with me instead of paying a babysitter) and i had managed to get kinda friendly with some of the wives of my husbands coworkers (theyre all members of the same union, so we see each other at those functions every once in awhile). i thought it was all going well and i was having fun and enjoying getting to be social for once, but about 2 weeks ago, the whole family was invited out for lunch (a picnic type thing) with his buddies from work's families. all was going well and for the most part even the kids were having fun, but then my husband got absolutely fucking trashed for no reason. none of the other guys were acting like that, and we've had conversations about him not doing that sort of thing, but he NEVER listens. he's always acting like this, but usually i dont have to see when its in public. well he embarrassed me so fucking much. he was trying to start fights, messing up his clothes, and wouldn't listen to me at all. just in his own world as always. i should've known because its been a decade of this, but i could have sworn it wasn't this bad before. he wasn't like this when we dated you know? so we got home and i was just. grossed out and annoyed. i slept on the couch and pretty much ever since then, i haven't been talking to him. i got a text from one of the ladies saying that a wednesday hangout thing i had been invited to had been canceled, but i pretty much KNOW 100% that it wasn't, and that they just don't want to be associated with me now. the kids don't really seem bothered by the tension around the house (i think its sort of normal to them since hes frequently not around anyways). i wouldn't be near as annoyed if there wasn't a part of my brain telling me "he did it on purpose". i know that's just how he acts but i could SWEAR its almost like he just doesnt want me to have friends. he doesn't want to hear about it, he just wants me THERE at home, watching the kids and existing solely for his convenience. i used to consider divorce, before we had our youngest. but i haven't had a job since high school, and i couldnt put the burden of asking for help on my sisters. they hate him, but i couldnt ask them for that support. and i dont even know what the kids would think, i cant do that to them. but yesterday, my husband brought it up (cornered me in our room pretty much) and asked why i was ignoring him. what if he really didnt know why? i TOLD him, but its like he forgot or just expects me to be "over it" by now. all i wanted was just this one thing, to HAVE FRIENDS, have that time away from being just "mom" and do what i want. he gets to do that so why cant i? or AT LEAST he could put some more effort into being around and doing things as a family? but i still wonder if im being the asshole, for giving him the cold shoulder for this long. he didnt have a happy childhood or good examples for parents so maybe he just thinks this is normal? i never asked because i assumed he knew it wasn't. and he does seem like, disappointed that i wont come to bed. maybe ive been driving him off and that's why he doesnt like to come home? idk at this point, im at a loss. aita?
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imwetforyourmom · 3 months
Text
heading for the door pt2
pt1
summary: what happens after the breakup?
warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of lack of eating, crying, swearing, fem!reader, ive never been in a club so mb if its poorly described, meantions of drinking and alcohol, help yall idk what else
sorry this took so longg
~
y/n held her knees to her chest as she sat on her bed. she was only staring at the wall infront of her. the creamish popcorn wall. nothing special about it, nothing special going on.
the only special thing she could think about was matt, even though she knew she shouldn’t. she was only tearing herself down more and more.
the thoughs of matt holding her, mumbling hush words to her with a sweet and caring tone of voice, the memories of them going on picnic dates together and laughing and giggling the entire time came flooding back to her, just as her tears did, overflowing from her eyes.
the realization of her actions and what had happened only sunk in after matt left, and that was almost a week ago.
she’d been in bed all week, no motivation to get up, shower, get dressed, nothing. she couldnt bring herself to move herself to do important things, such as eating, the last she’d eaten was almost two days ago.
but as of right now she couldnt focus on the gurgling and rumbling of her tummy, the way her body ached, the constant pounding in her head, the overwhelming thoughts, no. all she could think about was how she’d never feel matts touch, hear his voice, see his clothes lying around, as much as she hated picking all of it up, now she’d absolutely kill to be able to do it again.
but no. everything, absolutely everything was gone. and there was nothing she could do about it, except wait until something happened, just hope that maybe she’d find the motivation to move her sore and aching body off the bed, take a nice and warm shower, brush her teeth and take care of herself, eat a delicious and big meal.
she hated how she felt, how she couldn’t even look at a bracelet on her dresser, a bracelet her and matt had made to celebrate their two year anniversary. their two years of loving one another, two years of giving as much attention and affection as possible, spending two years of their lives together.
all of that was gone. she couldnt relive any of it, she couldnt bring it back somehow, she couldnt do anything except accept that she ruined everything, she ruined the love they had for eachother, the life they built together.
“am I not good enough for you?” the words rung through y/ns head, being all she could hear. the words she never wished to come out of her matt. the words she absolutely hated since he spoke them. she hated the way they made her feel. she hated how she felt sick to her stomach when the words processed through y/ns head.
knowing that he felt as if he wasnt enough and was basically worthless to y/n absolutely destroyed her. knowing matt was everything, everything. he was everything to her. without him she didnt feel like herself, and now that he was gone and gone for most likely forever she’d always feel this way.
she couldn’t feel complete, a part of her would be missing for forever and she’d never feel comfortable with herself. never feel normal. never feel the same joy she felt when she was with matt.
god, she built her entire life around matt, relying on him for her everything, her happiness, her grounding, her safety and comfort. she was so used to being with him, that everything she saw or heard reminded her of him, and what did that do? nothing. it only made her feel worse.
• • •
“come on y/nnn, you havent left your bed in a weekk, just come out, and you’ll feel better.” the text read, y/n stared for a moment, thinking all the thoughts of what would happen if she went out.
what if she saw matt? it wouldnt matter. they’ve broken up anyways.
what if another man reminds her of him and she breaks down and sobs? highly doubt that would happen, matts one in a million.
what if she gets black out drunk and calls matt? she hopes she does, maybe they’ll get back together.
y/ns thumbs moved across her keyboard quickly, pressing the letters and forming a sentence.
reading it over and over again, y/n made sure this is what she wanted and what she wanted only, not basing it off of anything to do with matt.
“yeah ill come out. pick me up at 9.” she pressed send and clicked her phone off.
she took in a breath, moving her legs to the side of the bed, pushing them to the edge and onto the floor.
the harsh cold wood on y/ns feet(sies) reminding her this was reality and not some stupid dream she’d made up.
• • •
y/n quickly thanked the uber before stepping foot out of the car, immediately being greeted with a very enthusiastic “hiii!!” by ryleigh, her voice high pitched as she wrapped her arms around y/n.
y/ns arms wrapped around ryleighs body, saying a quick “hi” aswell, maybe a small smile at her lips. she still felt disgusted with herself, with what she did to matt. she’d never be able to feel the way she did before she’d done what she did to matt.
hell, she couldnt even utter the words of what she’d done. the words brought her great pain, a nauseous feeling to her stomach and tears to her eyes.
“are you readyy?” ryleigh asked, her voice just as comforting and encouraging as y/n needed it to be.
ryleigh pulled away from the hug, her grin ultimately comforting y/n and reminding her she was in a safe space with ryleigh.
“yess! by the way, love the dress babe, you look beautiful!” y/n answered, her lips curving into a grin, matching ryleighs.
“thankss. lets go inside.” ryleigh pulled y/n by the hand, pulling her inside the club.
as soon as the door opened loud ass music, neon lights and chattering engulfed y/ns senses. the lights really getting to her, they were just.. so much brighter than inside her bedroom.
ryliegh, on the other hand was enjoying it all. the sweaty bodies she and y/n moving against others as they walked to the bar. everything going on was just what ryleigh needed.
“hello ladies, what can I get ya?” the bartender offered a warm smile towards the two. his voice sending shivers down rylieghs spine. it was a husk, and deep voice, ultimately pulling ryliegh in.
“uh- um.. I- ill take a majito.. um.. y/n? what do you want?” ryleighs shaky and flustered voice turned to y/ns direction.
“I dont want anything. thank you though, ryleigh.” y/n answered. as easy as it would be to consume alcohol and drown out all her thoughts with matt, she knew it wasnt right. she shouldnt because she needs to live the reality of what she did, and also, because drinking alcohol like that is not a good idea, whatsoever.
“alrighty, then. thats all.. mister..?” ryleigh trailed off as she turned back around to face the bar tender, leaning her forearms onto the counter.
• • •
y/n left ryleigh and the bartender. they were just flirting and shit. she didnt want to be the third wheel. wheres the fun in that?
y/n was currently enjoying her night, atleast trying too. as much fun as someone who just ruined their relationship could.
she lightly swayed with the music, her hips moving side to side gently with the music.
she lightly hummed the words of the song, suddenly being so consumed by the beautiful sounds of the singers voice and the background music.
then, everything stopped. her body movements came to a halt. the music suddenly going quiet. her breathing stopping and her heart rate quickening, as her eyes laid on matt.
she immediately bit her lip and took in sharp breaths. her arms twisting together as she stared at him, her eyes darting down his face and body.
the way his silky and shiny brunette hair fell perfectly ontop of his head. the way his green shirt looked so, so good on him. the color perfecting his skin.
god, everything she wanted in a person, yet she couldnt have, but once did.
matt stared at the crowd of bodies infront of him, all moving under bright lights. his eyes trained on each and every individual, his eyes scanning the way each body curved and didnt curve, the features of their faces and their clothing. studying each person for no other reason than being bored.
his eyes were currently laid on one girl, his eyes trained on her hips moving, not even bothering to glance up at her face, nothing.
he could only think about how familiar the movements looked, how perfect she moved her hips.. but more importantly how it looked so familiar like he’d seen it plenty times before.
suddenly, her bodys movements stopped. his eyebrows raised in confusion, wandering why the girl had stopped. he moved his eyes from her hips to her face.
he didnt even have to look for another second to know that is his girl- that was his girl. once was, never (at least, what a part of him wants) again.
he quickly took in how she took in sharp and small breaths, her arms twisting together in the same way she always used to, when she was nervous, he quickly recognized.
fuck.
suddenly his eyes began filling with tears as his lungs slowly deflated with no air. he couldnt find it in himself to take in a breath, without atleast letting out a small sob.
as much as it pained him to look at the girl he only wished was still his, he couldnt bring himself to look away.
he missed the way her arms felt around him, the way her words always got to him, comforted, brought happiness, anything he wanted her words always seemed to do it. the way her beautiful eyes stared into his, the beautiful color of her irises bringing such comfort, warmth and nervousness over him at any given moment with no failure.
as much as what she did with koda absolutley kills him, he still loves her, he still hopes she was in his bed with him everymorning, he still wishes she was the one to always hold him as long as he needed it.
all he wanted was her, and he knew he could have her back, but he knew she didnt deserve him.
y/n stood in her spot, her feet planted to the ground as she took in her shaky breaths, so badly wanting to walk over to matt and talk to him, she just wasnt sure if she was ready or if he didnt want to talk to her. why would he? she basically cheated on him.
her eyes couldnt help but to stay on the boy, until he motioned for her to come to him.
she nodded, before looking away then untwisting her arms and flailing them to her sides, shaking her hands for a moment to get the nerves out and to prepare herself.
she brought one foot infront of the other, walking to matt in a quick motion.
“hi.” matt breathed, seeing y/n standing infront of him. seeing the girl he wanted so badly stand infront of him.
“hi.” she spoke, taking in a breath before quickly saying “alright, listen. I am so fucking sorry for what I did matt. I would absolutely do anything for you. I’d- I would do anything matt. words cannot describe how drained ive been without you, I havent felt the same, I don’t- nevermind. this isnt about me, this is about you and what I did.” she took in another breath, collecting herself before starting again.
“alright. what I did was absolutely unacceptable and absolutely disgusting of me. you were my boyfriend and I should not have done what I did with koda. its absolutely sickening and- and, wrong. no man could ever amount to you, you’re everything and all of everything ive ever wanted. koda is- is not the one to blame here. its me. but I need you to understand that I still love you and if I could I would treat you so so much better than what I did before. i am, truly, so sorry matt, and i do hope we could date again- or atleast be friends.” she finished. exhaling a large breath, feeling a huge amount of weight being lifted off her shoulders.
matts eyes stared down in awe at her. all of her words went straight to his heart. he’d completely forgiven her the moment she opened her mouth and admitted what she did was wrong.
his hands slowly came up to her face, his hand cupping her cheek and pulling her face into his, pressing their lips together in a passionate and sweet kiss. nothing sexual behind it.
y/n crumbled into the kiss and closed her eyes, until matt pulled away and pulled her into him. wrapping his arms around her body as he hugged her. he muttered words into her head, “I forgive you, I forgive you.” he repeated, his hand coming to the back of her head as he pulled her into even more of a warm hug.
2308 words
tags:
@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @scofposts @jupitersturniolos @mutualsafe @evieolo
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crismakesstuff · 3 months
Text
so from what ive been seeing in the show so far it seems they’re gonna pair off paul with debbie and here’s why I don’t rly like it
btw in case anyone is wondering yes this happened in the comic and here’s comic paul vs show paul for comparasion
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(At least they wont have debbie fucking a hospice patient in this)
while im normally all for “yes girl get that dick” in terms of Debbie’s character it just seems ,, cheapening to chain her to another man to show she’s “whole” now. Debbie as a character/person has little to nothing to gain out of this relationship realistically. Women can live without “needing”a relationship to make them complete. Especially after what she’s gone through, like thats a 20 year relationship its gonna leave emotional scars.
Also the show seems to have this AVERSION to giving debbie actual female friends for longer than 1 scene at a time. Like im happy she has Art as a friend but she needs a woman in her life. Like I loved the scene with Olga at the start of s2 and the interaction w Carol of the SOS group but! Olga went back to Moscow and debbie can’t return to the group of bc of alana’s ugly ass ex husband. Like if they MUST pair her off with Paul just like the comic at least idk show that her past trauma is affecting her? Show her being messy and making mistakes or even Paul pointing out like “hey I don’t think you’re in the headspace for this” and breaking it off
Maybe then have debbie realize she’s better off single and begins to focus more on herself now! She could get a good friend group (or at least one female bestie pls) and in that stability of being single and with more immediate support in new friends! Show her taking up new hobbies to occupy her time outside of her job and enjoying life without ‘needing’ a partner, no characters growth should be dependent on a romantic partner!
It will make whenever nolan drags his sorry ass back to earth to see her that much more hard hitting because she doesn’t need him, he needs her. it’ll add so much more depth and struggle to him just trying to regain her trust and then if the show does do them getting back together it’ll actually feel more earned instead of happening off screen which I hated.
Also bc in the comic debbie breaks it off with paul bc after she sees nolan again she says “it didnt feel right being with paul anymore” like,, its so bs. Comic debbie has no self respect.
Ok thats all bye bye
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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year
Note
okay i want your opinion: how do you think would sanji know that he fell in love for real? and zoro? i think zoro wouldn't know until someone tell him
How Sanji & Zoro Know They Fell in Love
Edit: yeah this will be considered a drabble💀
Its pathetic how much ive thought about this
Im going to give a half assed answer because im half sleep rn while working
So first off I genuinely believe how he acted towards Viola is like the closest we ever got to how he’d probably act if he were in a relationship.
And i also I think Sanji would not fully acknowledge his stronger feeling to said person until he catches his change of demeanor. Because i think he knows in the back of his mind that he does has a DEEP LOVE for women, but he isnt IN love with any of them yk? He may have thought he was with a couple women (hell i can even add Nami possibly) but those feelings subsided when he found a new woman in his path.
I believe a fine example on how he’d probably truly fall in love w a woman would be having a deep late night conversation. Mind u him and said person would have been probably friends for a cool minute, they know each other by this point. And in this conversation there is No lustful gazes, no blood, just like raw one on one time. She’s maintaining eye contact, she is patient with him as he speaks, etcetc
I do also think it would be a new feeling for him and that girl would intimidate him in a way he is more cautious with his actions around her. And im not going to say Sanji will stop bleeding and go on to have his fits with other women no but i do think when he is around the girl it’s like a switch hits.
Basically the mf turns into Mr. Prince and its hot🧍🏾‍♀️
I also believe he would ask her out eventually but it would take some mental preparation and reassurance somehow that she feels the same feelings because he has been rejected by many women but this one he just couldnt bare.
Now as for Booty Hunter Zoro..
Denial.
Denial
Denial
Absolute denial
He does not want to believe it. He cannot believe it and he wont.
Doesnt matter how much he thinks about u, is subconsciously near u, how he always have a strong urge to pull you to the side just to be alone with you. He will give every excuse in the book before he admits he is in love.
He finds no use for it, he would use excuses like “Love would slow me down” or some bs like that. But then after a few years he begins to get frustrated because now he may be wrong. He may just be wrong about not being in love
The warm feeling he has when he is in ur presence
The way how he remembers the small things about you
The way how even when he gets lost he will always happen to FIND YOU
He even picks up some of ur mannerisms and HE HATES IT SM. He may even act colder towards u for it. He doesnt mean it he is just confused on these new emotions he has never experienced and the poor idiot dont know how to express his feelings all that well so if you ask about why he has been avoiding u he will get defensive.
It doesnt diminish his feelings for u tho u just have to take ur time with him, approach him, talk to him. And if u happen to put two and two together and call him out of his BS he maybe JUST MAYBEEEE be willing to open himself up to a chance of being in love
Idk tho.🧍🏾‍♀️
Half assed answer but i hope u understand what i was trynna say
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furiouskettle · 11 months
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Your Glottis art always gives me life and now I realize you also do off art... omg... I luv ur art. Can you tell us about your Elsen Ocs? :3c
gkhj awwh thank you!!!! glottis is so good im glad there are glottis appreciators out there
and YES i absolutely can
So i don't have a Whole lot backstory-wise...
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Nina's a zone 1 elsen. I've never been able to decide if he's a cow caretaker or if he's a postman, maybe he got a position at the post office at some point? She's been to zone 2 a few times and became enamoured with the plant illustrations in the library books. I only recently came up with her using both she/her and he/him pronouns and it basically sums up to "he/him is business, she/her is casual" which kiiind of means only spencer ever uses she/her for her but she's cool with that. She started to burn trying to escape a specter but Spencer managed to take it down before she went full Burnt. (that's how she met him). The other elsen don't bring attention to her claw hand or the marks on her face cause that would be making a scene.
Spencer's a runaway from zone 3. How did he get out of there? who knows. I think he didn't actually mean to, it's just that some Shenanigans happened. He likes to wander between zones 1 and 2. no clue how he gets around. He... doesn't really have a job, he just pretends to work wherever he ends up.
Unfortunately, being from zone 3, he's still got a sweet tooth. Lucky thing he knows the secret to sugar production! Idk where he found a suitable furnace though. DIY?
He generally steals prey from specters/finishes off specter victims... but he's not above a little murder if he needs to. (stealing their pocket money is a nice bonus).
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i was recently chatting abt this with friends and it can basically be summed up as:
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I think he might have intended to finish nina off during their first meeting, but they're besties now and she can Never Know About That. anyway he's a lil fucked up. its fine
ALSO FUN FACT THESE OCS TURN 10 THIS YEAR. IVE HAD THEM SINCE 2013 THEY'RE ANCIENT
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ultra-raging-ghost · 6 months
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Just saw your post about demon trio GAAAHH they are my Roman Empire. The moment when Mouse approached Bad when he was brain resetting in a little patch of flowers he placed down, how close they shifted to each other, it felt so ALIEN and and and cool and I’m so NORMALLL. And when Tina splashed herself with perfume and when she had that role play moment when (idk if it was canon or a character) she was SO OBSESSED with going to heaven, I think she was born a demon, and SOMEHOW acquired religious trauma along the line probably as a child. Born a demon left at an orphanage door idk and they made all the kids go to church or something and Tina was OBSESSED because it gave order and meaning to her life but she was a demon and-
Ok right questions. Sorry, gah I love demon trio. I need an arc where Mouse and Bad get together and try to help Tina. Love how Bad hides the fact he’s a demon not because he hates himself for it (maybe a little) but because he’s a recognizable wanted fucking criminal. Where was I going with this again?
Do you have any thoughts on them? ;v; (sorry for rambling in the ask D: )
AAAA I LOVE LONG ASKS LIKE THIS
okay i TOTALLY agree with you have so many thoughts, i was literally just thinking the same thing last night!!! The absolute difference in upbringing as far as the demons really shows in how they act and i have sooooo so many thoughts about it!!!
So first off, i dont really know how old mouse is in terms of her lore but as far as BBH is concerned hes fucking weird and is constantly alluding to his existence extended FAR before the universe even existed, hell even time and space, we dont actually know what the fuck his deal in full is actually!!! What we do know is he was summoned to Earth roughly eleven to fourteen thousand years ago!
Mouse gives us not as much age-wise from what ive heard but she has expressed that she considers two thousand year olds to be "baby" not quite baby but like VERY young! (I have a personal HC that bad's summoning let loose a new age of demons, maybe not all at once but very quickly so mouse would probably be over ten thousand years old)
Tina gives us absolutely NOTHING she doesnt like talking about her demon ancestry aside from hiding it (when bagi said mouse taught her how to smell demons tina quickly panicked and doused herself in perfume, etc etc. nothing super explicit from what ive seen but im relatively new to her lore). But i personally have a hc that shes roughly three thousand years old, coming into existence around the Middle Ages in 1000 CE. That might seem extremely young but honestly thats what im going for for her!!! super extremely young!!! and born around the time when Catholicism was popular!
In my mind, they all have very much different reasons for acting the way they do and im soooooo ill about it
As a BBH main i have the most information on him so ill be talking about the lore i know from him first before getting into the other two lovely ladies!! So what we've heard from BBH is that he prefers to "hide" his demonic features and "blend in" with humans as much as possible if he can, obviously he doesnt do very good at this but hes old as shit and very powerful so like who's gonna tell him??? From what we've heard of his lore, Bad is the cause of a LOT of minor and major disasters in history; Mt Vesuvius (who he named after a dead lover) exploding, the plague taking out most of europe (which he was a plague doctor for), and alongside other major things theres some minor events as well! Small wars he's been present in such as the HG war he was in with cellbit very recently, various other wars he eluded to that he recalled "blended together" because there were so many, that time he went to medical school for 15 minutes just to do brain surgery on that president on a boat.... he also knows a lot of major historical figures and hes been EVERYWHERE, we actually have a rough timeline of where he's been and when just based on who he knows. He knew not only the fucking guy who created the study of viruses, HIS ASS KNOWS ISAAC NEWTON..... and i think once he alluded to knowing goddamn adam and eve, maybe even being the snake in the goddamn garden. Considering its cannon to his lore that he was the angel locked beneath the euphrates river i wouldnt be surprised at that point.
All this to say: Bad has been present for and had an active hand in a LOT of major and minor disastrous historical events, and hes repeatedly talked about how people would chase him with torches and pitchforks - even referring to that activity as "therapy" and said thats the reason he doesnt believe in therapy, because it hurts and doesnt do anything for him except get him running.
Bad does not personally feel shame about his demonic features, he's used to hiding them (or at least intending to.... hes doing a bad job at it) for his own personal safety, because his role as >>>>A) a demon and B) the fucking ferryman of death<<<< brings him a LOT of negative attention. Negative attention that he's had to deal with ALONE for a majority of his existence, up until about fourteen thousand years ago.** (**A major event i feel caused a new era of Demons, we will talk about it more through the post)
Moving on to Mouse; i mention bad's role as a demon having an affect on negative things around him because i honestly think that applies to all or most demons. I don't know much about mouse's lore, but i do know shes proud of her heritage to some degree, is unashamed to tell people shes a demon, and will even actively teach people things about her species (Bringing back Bagi again - We know in cannon Demons smell like Sulfur, its been stated pomme and dapper and bad and mouse and tina all smell like it, and we can assume empanada also does or is starting to).
I, to some degree, think the beginning of her existence was much more accepting and inviting, while bad dealt with his negative experiences alone, and tina had her own upbringing we'll get into, Mouse came into existence during a "Dark" age, when bad was summoned to earth there was a wave of the newest generation of demons being spawned into this world(not in a "father of all demons" way but more in a "large expressions of magic often lead to a ripple affect of more magic" way). A lot of shit probably happened, im not insane like badboyhalo im not gonna research what happened but theres probably some kinda major event that happened. Demons born around that era probably had some kind of support system or way of existing that was underground enough for them to not be wiped out, but they had enough freedoms that mouse and others probably felt comfortable enough to express demonic traits.
I like to think this was the era of her life that had the most influence over her existence, that she was created with pride and will ALWAYS have that pride in her species, it may be dampened but it will never go away fully!*
*I like to think shes experienced maybe some shame over her species when it comes to minor historical events that shes contributed to by just being present, but it very rarely lasts longer than the event itself.
Tina, as far as im concerned, is the youngest of the demon trio aside from their kids. I kinda write her akin to Amethyst from SU, her existence was very recent and she was alone with very little or no initial support system, she was brought up thinking she was "wrong" in some way, her teeth and nails were too sharp, and she has horns and sometimes her skin has a purpleish hue to it that make other people think theres something wrong with her. She has a VERY obviously christian/catholic upbringing which was brought to light recently in one of her conversations with foolish. She's always felt shame about her species and she probably would have continued if it wasnt for mouse and bad, but ESPECIALLY if it wasnt for Empanada.
I have my own thoughts on the demon babies that we'll get into later, but after gaining her daughter who is very much going to be a demon (two demon parents, obvious demon child lol) i cant help but wonder how tina's planning on pushing aside her feelings of shame to make Empanada feel welcomed and loved regardless of her species?
Tina's very young, of course shes seen some major events in history but shes never been raised in community, she probably didnt even know thats just something that comes with the horns until very recently! I can imagine bad and mouse joking and giggling about that town that they stayed the night in that caught fire the next day that they got chased out of a couple hundred years ago, and i can imagine tina being confused as to why they found that amusing, is that normal? Tina's always had minor disasters follow her, her home town very likely burned down or got sick following or preceding a major milestone in her life, and thats probably continued to happen over the thousands of years shes been alive! Being a demon brought up in a very anti-demon environment, whos to say she even knew there were other demons out there really? She was a curse from god, she brought nothing but poor luck and sickness to her household (which i agree with you she was probably residing in an orphanage), she brought it everywhere she went. I cant help but ask myself "did she feel relief that it wasnt just her, or even more shame finding out this is a common occurrence for demons?"
Now thats most of what i have regarding the parents but i have a few notes on the demon kids. I think all the eggs have some sort of demonic features, obviously bads a huge influence on all of them and they care about him as their tia so i draw most of the babies with horns and tails of some kind, but i am particularly focusing on Dapper, Pomme and Empanada, the three demon babies whos actual official parents are the demons.
I dont have anything too specific for them, but i do believe they will grow up to have an attitude towards their species akin to how Mouse acts.
Unlike other demons or even their parents growing up, they have a support system and parents to explain to them things that will happen to them as they get older! They'll have someone to come back to, who will explain "Yes, that village got the plague because you walked through it and the sulfur you spread supernaturally brought illness and bad luck. No, its not your fault in particular. No, you shouldn't stop going into towns and villages, its the 21st century and if they cant stop the plague by now then they were gonna die anyway"
When they inevitably get shunned by humans for their species, they have someone to come back to to let them know that that wasnt right, but its a part of what happens to people like us. Maybe some day we wont have to experience that anymore, but right now the most important thing is to not get caught, and come home to your Mama so we can give you bandaids for your knees and treat your wounds.
I'm so very invested in how the demon babies will be brought up by their parents, i hope we get more demon lore in the future </3
This turned into an essay, hope thats alright njkbhjvgchfg i have so many thoughts on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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jacks-little-jacky · 2 months
Note
Heyheyhey!! Anon here again! Do you mind writing a scenario in which Jack’s crush absolutely adores adopting children (I’m not talking about one or two, I’m talking about an ’army’ of them, like, 6/7) ?
Like, those kids are incredibly fond of him to the point that in the future they accidentally call him ’dad’? (maybe you can end it with some smut, with Jack offering them another sibling 👀) (IM SO SORRY, THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR SO LONG AND I’VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK FOR A LONG TIME, BUT IVE NEVER MET ANOTHER JACK SIMP BEFORE— I HOPE I CAN REQUEST AGAIN SOON, I ADORE YOUR WRITING!!❤️❤️❤️)
The Littlest Army | Jack x Reader
Okay so I ADORE Dilf! Jack. Sorry that this took so long but I'm getting back into this blog and I hope the quality is to your taste. Bon appetit.
Warnings: inappropriate use of children (Jack throws them), NSFW Under The Cut! Everything above is pretty SFW, breeding kink/unprotected yee-hawing, mention of pregnancy, I tried something new so idk
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Jack has never seen this coming.
Never, in all of his 28 years of living has he seen himself as a father figure. Sure, leading a Squad that accepted 15-year-olds sometimes made him somewhat of a caregiver. More or less.
He didn't see himself as the domestic type. He could handle the young recruits, they were his subordinates after all. Of course, they were teenagers, but there still was this distance. Professionalism, as little as Jack would bring it with him at least.
Jack wasn't one to settle down, have children and drink tea in his little cottage by a lake. No, that wasn't him. Or so he thought.
Until he met you.
A pretty thing, how couldn't he notice you? Always smiling, waving at the Magic Knight with the two little bundles next to her knees.
He never meant for this to happen.
But the preparations for the Royal Knights Exam came up and everbody was oh so busy. So busy that the Captains would come from their high horses and take over the boring patrols and mediocore missions so their knights would have further time to train.
And Jack always was a working bee, anything that was preventing him from sitting hours in his office going through reports and filing documents about broken equipment and whatnot was good to him.
Really, with the way he was patrolling almost each day the cities around his base location he shouldn't be suprised he picked up on people there. He wasn't unobservant, he just didn't care most of the time.
But after almost two weeks he knew the names of the baker and the lady who spilled coffee in a rush on him. He knew the names of some children he saw running around, learning them from their mothers yelling after them. The names of some of the nuns taking care of the orphans too.
And of course, you. Sweet, temptating, captivating you.
Always running around, helping the nuns. Always running around, bumping into him. Always running around, never leaving his mind.
It was unfair. A sick kind of joke the universe played on him. But how was he supposed to resist? Resist you and your kind smile, your little giggle, and the way you'd bat your eyelashes at him. The way you silently pleaded for him to take the cookies the kids made for him.
And he did, lowering on his knees slowly while staring into your eyes. His golden eyes only leaving your captivating eyes when his knees hit the ground and he redirected his gaze to the actual kids around him.
They were loud, tugging at his robe and shoving the cookies almost into his face. He cracked a little smile, before giving in and laughing. Ruffling their hair and taking cookies, biting a chunk off and praising how good they were.
Asking if they had any help. Which of course, he knew they had. His eyes darted to you when they started laughing, telling him about how you helped with the baking but they did all the decorating themselves! Such proud little bundles of joy, cheering your name.
It made something in his stomach churn.
The way your proud eyes sparkled, the way your plump lips spread into this stupid smile that had his heart aching. How you watched over them, even with him near.
At first, he didn't think he'd ever have a chance. With how much you helped the orphanage, Jack's working theory had been that you were in training maybe. Although you didn't wear the robes, the way you'd almost always be there when he passed on his patrol and the way the children often referred to you as a big sister or mother figure was evidence for itself.
He often wondered, about the two bundles that would always be around you. If those children were just especially attached to you, or if they even were your own in a way.
And of course, you two got talking. After all the kids were amazed to not only see a Magic Knight but a Captain regularly patroling their place! And you were just making sure, that he wasn't a danger to them, or that they didn't bother him too much.
Just making sure. Definitely not being interested in the tall commoner yourself. No, that would be ridiculous.
It didn't take long for Jack to figure out that you were not really one of the sisters who worked at the orphanage. But your two adoptive kids were close friends with some of the kids there. So they'd get to see their friends and hang out and you did your part in the community. You just liked kids, helping them and being around them.
Something Jack, oddly enough, has come to appreciate more and more with every visit he paid you guys.
He soon found out that you didn't only have two kids, but four. A ridiculous amount if you ask him, not that you do but he tells you that anyway.
Oddly enough, with his attitude, you would've thought he'd start backing off. The subtle flirtatious, the little touches that lingered a bit too long. A single mother wasn't held in the highest regard in the Clover Kingdom. You didn't care, of course, you chose to take in these kids and were planning for more.
But Jack did not back off. In fact, he slowly started seeing why you liked these brats so much. Even if it was just because they never failed to make you smile in a way that nothing else could at first. Still, he worked himself up with these children. From the little awkward encounters at first, he worked his relationship with these kids up to ruffling their hair and occasionally carrying them, throwing them up, and catching them. You had to reprimand him multiple times that it was dangerous. What if a little one slipped from his hands and got hurt?
It didn't stop it though, even if he wanted to listen he couldn't with the way he got begged by some of these brats. The little ones loved sitting on the shoulders of the tall man, he just... wasn't refusing it. And of course, you did not miss the way his eyes hushed to catch yours each time, silently seeking approval.
Neither of you could really grasp it.
Jack felt a pull towards you and he couldn't resist it. And although you denied it, you could feel it too. The way your eyes would meet although you weren't even talking with each other, the way you'd know when he'd come by each day. How he'd make the kids laugh and amaze them, acting, unlike his brash and brutal reputation with the little ones in your care. The way his tongue would brush against his lips whenever he heard your little laugh.
You were irresistible to him. And so was he. It was like there was an invisible string connecting you two. It wasn't visible, hell it wasn't reasonable, but there was this clear pull toward each other and you could only try to resist for so long.
So long. Until it snapped.
Lips crashed into yours, you weren't even sure how or why it was happening but you found yourself in the arms of one of the most powerful men of the Clover kingdom.
The children's laughs and yells from playing some game faded into the background as your fingers dug into the fabric of his robe. His big hand was caressing your cheek and fingers tangling into your hair. A gasp crawled out your throat at the sensation of his teeth nibbing onto your lower lip.
It was warm. So warm.
Your breath was heavy after your lips separated, feeling like he had just kissed the air right out of you. A smile spread onto his lips, that wide, proud smile that just promised trouble.
"I figured...", his raspy voice spoke up. His face was still so very close to yours that you could feel his warm breath hitting your lips. "What?", you asked. The smile creeping on your face couldn't be more obvious. "Figured you might... need... some help with your kids?" Jack suggested in a hushed voice.
"I'm quite alright with them.", you stated amused. Jack's teeth bit down onto his lower lip ever so slightly, a gesture you probably would've missed if not for the close proximity. "But... I might need help when I get the next ones....", You whispered.
Jack's eyes visibly lightened up, the golden pool of honey gazing down at you. "Even more?" He asked, voice quiet with disbelief. "Of course. I still have plently room in my heart. And at home. I want a big family, so beware...", you whispered.
Your heart was pleading he'd be fine with it. Knowing his reputation, he probably wouldn't be. But Jack had surprised you more than once already and you'd hope he would do it again now too. You wanted him, but you still had your priorities. Your family, and the wish to extend it was more important than a little crush.
Even if it didn't feel like just a little crush.
You could hear the tall man gulp quietly before placing his lips upon you again, the kiss was shorter, softer. Your lips responded softly to his, mind easing a little that he wasn't running.
"I might have to start numbering them if you get any more..." Jack joked quietly against your lips and it actually made you laugh. He wasn't against it, he just found the amount of children one woman would adopt ridiculous. Like everybody else, just that he was offering to try it. With you. All of you, even the family.
Jack was a ridiculously good partner. The reputation he had was nothing like how you knew him. Yes, he was a little crazy, a brute but he also was the best guy you've dated.
He cared for the kids, to the point the name "Dad" slipped more than once before it really was official. When it was, your children were almost happier than you. They liked the captain, loved how he'd take them on little trips whenever you needed a pause. Or the way he made their mother laugh so cheerfully at his jokes, although they didn't always understand them. They will, when they're older, you tell them.
After you and Jack became official you adopted two more children and they were the first ones to meet Jack as their Dad, not as the awkward man stumbling out of their home half-dressed some mornings. He was a bit scared at first, own children, adopting them with you and being their legal guardian from day one felt... odd.
He never saw himself there. He thought it just was not for him. Until you.
Jack even suggested tying the knot before you, if you'd like that. He loved your kids like they were his own. Hell, they were his now. And if he rushed away after a meeting just to pick them up from visiting friends or anything he was used to the stares. After all, the magic knight captains weren't exactly unknown.
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The children weren't home, it was a rare day that the house was so quiet. Your little bundles of joy were at a birthday party with some of the children which gave you the rarer occasion of relaxing with your boyfriend.
Boyfriend. It still gave you a tingling feeling to think about it. How far you've come with him. It did not feel like you two had been together for that long, but you have.
A while back he was just a stranger doing his patrol and now he was the legal father of two from your six children. And that was only legal, the others still called him Dad. You never had thought this could happen, that you'd end up in bed with Jack the Ripper. Your back pressed against his chest as you cuddled up on the bed, spooning.
His fingertips ghosted over your hips. You couldn't remember a moment in the last weeks when you could just lie down with him and relax without anything interrupting you. As you closed your eyes you decided just to relax and ease into the touch, you deserved it. The gentle touches, the way his hand was brushing over your side and stomach.
His slender fingers traced your figure so delicately but with just enough pressure to spread pleasurable tingles across your body. The way he increased the pressure, kneading your flesh softly before his fingers continued his mindless search, fingernails sending goosebumps all across. It was causing your mouth to let loose the softest moans. His hands were warm and big, and he knew just where you liked to be touched, how you liked to be touched.
One of his hands crept up your stomach, cupping one of your tits and gently kneading there too. The sensation causes you to buck your hips back into his, your ass rubbing against his growing erection. The deep rasp of a low laugh was ringing in your eyes. His lips nipped and kissed at the nape of your neck. His lips turned up into a cocky smile as he heard the little muffled sound spilling from your lips.
Jack was slow, taking his time. No matter how often his hands would explore your body, he'd never tire of it. Although there was a thought stuck in his head. How you'd look with his child, how happy he could make you.
He bit his lip a little, trying to imagine how it would be for the little ones to get another playmate. And how you'd look, plump tits full of milk and your body getting more plush and soft. How happy he could make you, picking out names and going shopping. Having a little girl or boy that looked just like you running around the house.
And of course, he thought about how it would be to make this theoretical child. Definitely one of his favorite parts of this idea.
How your tight cunt would squeeze around his cock for everything he got. How it would be to go in raw and feel your sweet walls engulf him, squeeze and milk him. How you'd moan for him, how nice and deep he'd fuck you. Nice and deep, he would make sure it takes.
You turned your head to face Jack, your lips puckered a little and Jack did not waste a second to give you the kiss you silently asked for. His breath was heavy, his nose nuzzling against yours as he was claiming your lips with eager. It was one of the things you loved about Jack, his eagerness, his need to please. He wasn't a man who half-assed.
"I have an idea...", he mumbled with his mouth close to your ear. "Oh?" Your voice was a little amused as your hand reached back into his hair. Another sloppy kiss was shared before Jack laughed against your lips huskily.
"How about another brat, keke?" His question was voiced with lust, tone sultry making it oh too obvious what his intentions were even before he ground his hard cock against your ass. Your lips turned upwards in a little grin as you pressed back against him. "Oh?", you asked before laughing a little, "I thought I was insane for building a little army, as you have put it?"
"Let's make it a strong one." He whispered to your ear, his hands wandering to places they wouldn't belong in any more public space. "I promise I'll give you a strong addition.", he purred in your ears. A wide smile crept over his face as your sweet moans reached his ears. His fingers shamelessly toying with your clit. "I bet your brats would like another sibling."
"They probably would...", you agreed between heavy breaths. Your lips crashed against his again, your kisses eager and sloppy. Jack couldn't help but grin against your lips at the way you moaned into the kiss, his fingers wandering lower. Your slick collecting on his fingers before he pushed inside.
Jack's fingers were long, strong, and precise. His ring and middle finger worked on easing in and out your tight entrance, curling them to reach just the spot that had you bucking back into him. His thumb was still drawing sloppy and lazy circles on your clit while his mouth nipped and kissed on your throat, leaving little hickeys and marks.
He was impatient, hungry for you. His soft pace soon turned sloppy and fast, his cock rubbing against your ass through his pants. He responded to your moans with his own, your kisses getting messy, lips smashing against each other urgently.
His cock was throbbing in his pants, straining against the fabric and begging to be freed. To be engulfed in your sweet, slick walls instead of this fabric. His tongue was pushing out his mouth to get a taste of you, sweet, slutty moans that matched yours rolling off his lips.
"Can't wait to fuck you." He whispered shakingly, the pace of his fingers was still going, it was messy but unrelenting. "Then don't," you moaned against his lips.
In an instant, his hands retracted from your pants. His tall body crept over you, not even a minute after your clothes were discarded on the floor while Jack was making quick work of his own clothes. It was hot, and your vision was blurry, not like Jack felt any different from you. His vision was blurry and the only real point of focus was you.
Naked, spread out for him. Just for him. Ready to be devoured.
There was this insatiable hunger Jack felt every time he looked at you. It wasn't that bad at first, but it was there. But once you let him have a taste there was no turning back, he was hooked. Hooked on your body, your love. Hooked on you.
He grabbed your hips, pulling you closer with ease to align his length with your entrance. A gentleman, he teased you a little first, making sure his cock was covered in your juices and you were whining with your hole clenching around nothing for him. Such a gentleman, sinking his cock in slowly, making you feel every inch.
"Take me like a good girl, yeah?" He cooed at you, his lips turned upwards in a huge smile when he saw your face. You were so cute, red-faced, and heavily breathing. How could he ever resist you?
Your cunt was gripping him tightly, so tightly it was melting parts of his brain. He was only sinking in fully once and he already felt drunk off your pussy. Your sounds the sweetest thing he has ever heard.
He was breathing heavily, slowly sliding out and in, creating a rhythm that made you mewl with pleasure. Jack's eyebrows were furrowed as he tried his best, his very best not to lose his mind with the way your walls were pulsating around him and he could swear it was hypnotic or something. His kisses were sloppy and messy, hot breath coming out in short bursts.
It wasn't long after that the slow work-up did in fact not work for you two. Your sounds were loud enough to alert the neighbors, it was a good thing the kids were out. Jack couldn't control himself with the way he was fucking bullying his cock into your soaking cunt, loud squelching noises accompanied by the sound of his tight balls smacking against your ass over and over.
Your moans were lewd and loud, spilling into each other's mouths as your kisses were messy and full of tongue. Each thrust, each kiss full of lust, of desire for one another. The Captain rocked his hips into yours over and over again, his leaking cock nuzzling against all those places that had you in ecstasy. The heels of your feet digging into his lower back, trying to push him deeper.
It was almost animalistic, the way your bodies moved. His thrusts were sharp, hard, and fast. The sounds of your moans vibrating from the walls, the creaking of the bed, and the headboard slamming against the wall mixed with your voices creating a symphony of sin.
"I'm close, so close", you whined against his lips. Jack's grip on your hip tightened, his rhythm changing just a little to adjust his hip to slam in deeper, harder. Your fingers scratching his back and tugging at his hair was causing him to moan loader, to fuck into you more eagerly. His eyes were darting between your pleasure-struck face, a sight for the gods if he could say so himself, and the creamy white ring that built on the base of his cock.
"Good girl, such a pretty thing.", he praised between shaky breaths. A big grin plastered across his face, and one of his hands came up to cup your cheek. He made sure you'd look at him, basking in the sight of how flustered you got. Chest heaving and teary-eyed, a sight he'd never forget. His thrusts got harsher, forcing you to look at him while your face twisted and contorted in pleasure. The coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter, until it couldn't hold.
A loud moan escaped your lips, thighs shaking violently as your pussy clenches tightly around his length. The sensation was too much for the tall man, his moans becoming slightly more high-pitched as his hips stuttered, rhythm losing as he fucked himself into you more desperately. You were gripping him so tightly, your cum running along his length and dribbling down your legs and he couldn't compose himself. His hips rutted and ground into you with carnal need, chasing his high until he was spurting hot, sticky streaks of his release.
The tall man was still grinding his hip against yours after a few seconds, letting his orgasm wash over him before his arms gave out. He let himself fall on you, not his entire weight at once but he still wanted to stay there, on top of you, close to you, inside of you.
"Bloody hell", he laughed quietly, breath heavy as he peppered lazy kisses to your cheek. "You think it'll take?", he asked after a moment, rolling over and wrapping his arms around you. "I think it's a little early to say", you replied amused. Jack nodded understandingly.
"Then we should just keep repeating this until we have confirmation."
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cali · 7 months
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im a different anon but im just curious what advice you would give to someone whos been pillbugging it for um. over a year now
mmm i cant really answer how to stop having depression which im guessing is what u mean + i dont know how ur head works but ive been living mostly NEET-ly for more than 2 yrs now and everyday im getting a better curve at dealing with it so i can tell u what works for me.
half the time when im pillbugging hard im paralyzed by a nontangible fear and the only thing that could stop it is adressing wherever the fear is coming from but the confrontation of the topic, trying to figure out where its even coming from, is terrifying too so i dont do it and stay swimming in tar. theres a sentence people keep saying when they explain why they watch 2 hour video essays "it makes my head go quiet". thats the enemy, the thought, not the person saying it. long term i mean. when its short term anguish that can be bridged by pillbugging its fine i think but if ur "making ur head quiet" for more than a month i urge u to make it go really loud again but thats hard. the only times i can try and confront those thoughts is when i feel otherwise nice, if i got externally forced to have a fun day, hike with my papa, date day with my girlfriend, sometimes just got myself to make a nice meal and it helped, when u feel better its a little less scary and u can maybe try and think out of it a little better. also i think on those days youre generally more positively charged so u got more hope outlook. COOL. i think this is why some people do meditation. im not good at it so i dont really know but i think its a brave pasttime of tackling unpleasant ideas. i used to try and dope my way out of it with lsd cuz everytime i used it it kind of forced me to confront whatever trouble i had but ive forbad myself that cuz i didnt want to rely on it as crutch + it was just unpleasant to get hit over the head everytime. now i only do it when i feel good already (havent done it in half a year lol). sorry, drug tangent. also weed is synonymous with pillbugging 4 me.
otherwise, rituals.... mmmmm..... when therapists and whoevers say stuff like take daily walks daily exercise take daily shower i think all of those are like half about the direct benefits they give and half just about doing anything regularly. cuz it helps. during pillbug hours the point for me is kind of to have time pass as fast as possible so the timeframe to hurt is reduced which is counterproductive cuz if it flows u by rlly hard u cant really grasp onto anything to get off the ride easily. and its never going to come really easy theres no probable single action or event that is going to singlehandedly pull u out of the mire, no rapture, no healing vitamin, its always going to be slow and tedious and boring and stupid but a routine is a nice framework to start that. brushing ur teeth is nice. and when u do something daily the days start becoming more tangible again and u will be able to tell how many days ago tuesday was. maybe u can think abotu what factors motivate u and twist them to do your biddinggg. shame and dissapointment works really well for me if i tell someone i will have this done by then and i dont it usually overpowers the malaise or whatever other reason has been making me not do it prior. but this requires social bonds and i cant guarantee u have those. in summer i started doing therapy cuz in germany i need it for transgenderism and shes also a good beacon for that, if she says do something until next time we meet i dont want to dissapoint her. other than that, um idk, everyting else is just kind of part of that. take walks even if u dont want to think about things even if its scary. be brave like childrens book illustration of knight slaying dragon. and then maybe u get a princess kiss
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persephone11110 · 3 months
Text
drifting apart || j.seresin
“I don’t know if this is something we can fix.” prompt credit: @allthingsmusings
seresin children oc’s: Rosie Seresin, JJ Seresin
t/w: jake tries to keep the girl, divorcing, part of the reason why bradley and jake hate eachother so much, seresin children, alot of hurt and no comfort, mention of rooster, ooc jake idk tbh
word count:1.8K
AN: I think we noticed of how much of Jake kick ive been on. Instead of my usual writing I decided to break both characters heart.
*bolded slanted words means flashback*
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Never in millions did Y/n Seresin believe there be a day when her and Jake Seresin marriage would falling apart. You no longer felt enough for Jake Seresin, you no longer felt the dire need to keep pretending that your marriage was alive.
You sat on the edge of the bed with a picture in one and with your wedding rings in the other.
The wedding picture,Jake standing behind you in his dress blues, wearing the biggest grin any person could humanly pull. His wedding rings in your hand, he must’ve known deep down that the love between them was going down the drain.
Jacob John Seresin I was not someone who gave up easily, he proved this throughout their twelve years of marriage. He did this when it came to asking Bradley to marrying his kid sister, he did this when it came to flying in the air-having the desperate need to come back to his family—the love of his life.
To see your husband rings on the nightstand only meant one thing, Jake Seresin was giving up—he was throwing the towel in.
He himself didn’t believe Y/n wasn’t worth fighting for.
You wish you could turn the clock back and go back to the times were there was love in the air. You wish you could pinpoint were the two of you fell out of love with eachother.
Did he stop loving her after JJ was born?
Was there ever another woman?
Hell you knew you were no Aphrodite, but you liked to think your husband loved your curves from carrying your two children. The way freckles graced your face—the c-section scar that was left after having JJ.
Maybe he didn’t.
Your twisting the wedding ring that once symbolized love and hope. Your nervous for Jake reaction which was understandable, the papers were hidden away in a kitchen drawer,the kids had been spending the night at Uncle Mav’s house.
You had the house alone to yourself, as Jake had spent the second night in a row at Javy house.
You looked at the closet as it no longer held any of your stuff, the kids room also lacked many of their things. You had already decided on 50-50, Jake keeps the house and she would downsize to a townhouse. They would split custody with the kids, you would keep your minivan, as Jake would barely be here because of deployment.
There’s no reason for this to be messy unless Jake made it that way. Unless he fought to you to the very end—leading them to go to court.
A couple months from now, Y/n would no longer be a Seresin. You would be Y/n Rose Bradshaw, the woman who’s husband left her. The woman who wasnn’t strong enough to hold her marriage together.
Your standing in the kitchen allowing the running hot water to burn your hands. As you dwell on the past without realizing Jake had finally came back from Javy house. He came back to an empty house, the kids were gone—you were almost gone.
“Seresin” The blonde man smiles at you, a toothpick is sticking out the side of his mouth.
“Likewise, the name Y/n”. You tipped your beer at him.
Dimples appear on both corners of his mouth.“Whats an civilian like you doing here, Y/n?”. His toothpick is discarded on a napkin.
“Well Seresin if it concerns you so much I’m here with my brother who just so happens to be a naval aviator”. You blink your eyes, not wanting to be caught rolling your eyes at him.
“Seresin why are you harassing my little sister?” Bradley appears, dragging his eyes between the both of them, his lips curl into a small smirk,“I’m leaving you two kids alone, but I’m telling you Seresin dont piss her off, that right hook has done damage”.
“Y/n Bradshaw”.
“Jacob Seresin”. He drawls at you, his sweet southern accent making your stomach twist into pieces.
“Y/n” his voice is loud, he gently pulling you away from the sink. You could barley make out his words but you did hear the water cut off.“What wrong sweetheart?”, his voice is so concerned—an emotion you missed hearing in his voice.You missed him so much.
He grabs your hands,“Come on talk to me”.
“Its fine Jake” you gently pull your red raw looking hands from his giant gentle ones. “You must be hungry Jake”. You pull away from him walking to the microwave and pressing the numbers, to reheat his dinner. “How was Javy’s?”.
Nice going Y/n the man may not be in love with you anymore but he knows you and your tells.
“Red, whats wrong?” he sighed, staring you down like your one of the kids hoping to make you confess." His big green eyes staring into yours, the same green eyes that made you fall in love with him. This is the last time you’ll see them, this is the last time you’ll both be in the same house, in the same room together.
“I’m tired Jake, I’ve had a pretty long day”. You licked your lips their suddenly dry.“Tell me about Javy’s”. You hands him a saran wrapped dinner plate.
“Weres Rosie and JJ?”Jake asks you, tugging you into a chair before sitting down.
“Their spending the night at Uncle Mav’s, they’ve been dying to be in that damn hangar with him”.
You could tell he’s itching to really ask you whats going on but he doesn’t. Jake takes a mouthful of food first before eyeing you again. “Thank you Red”.
He taking a sip of beer before he’s back to eyeing you again with suspicion.“Baby your scaring me”. Your fidgeting with your hands unable to contain yourself much longer, you let go of Jake’s hand and stand up.
You looked up the ceiling praying to god that shit doesn’t hit the fan the moment you turn back around to him.
You grab the papers from out of the drawer.
“Whats that Y/n?”. Jake asks a level of fear rumbling in around inside of his stomach.
You don't answer him at first, you could feel his eyes boring into yours as you hand the papers to him.“Jake their papers”.
Jake’s jaw clenches as his hands smooths over them
It had taken forever for you to accept the end of your marriage, standing in the shower crying so the kids don’t hear you. Laying in a bed with one side made, asking yourself what happened, hearing knocks at the door thinking it was the day you get Jake’s belongings.
Sitting next to your lawyer with a quivering hand holding a tissue for your wet face and runny nose.
Jake Seresin doesn’t easily get scared, he’s seen death happen in front of his very own eyes—almost losing the love of his life and his son. To begging death to give him a second chance, being the man that majority of the navy hates.
You standing there with a pen in one hand your wedding rings in the other did.
“Fucking talk to me Y/n”. Jake might aswell get on his knees and beg, that just what his tone sounded like.
“I want a divorce Jake”.
Jake heart is slowing down, hating the way how certain your voice sounded. How you given up on him,on the marriage already.
“Are you fucking kidding me Y/n ?”, his voice is rough, his arms crossed onto the table.“You can’t just hand me papers and expect me to sign them without hesitation”.
“Yes I can Jake, everynight since your last deployment Ive wondered if theres a point to this—to us”.
His jaw clenched,the anger in him rising ,“You can’t use my job aganist me Y/n you knew what the navy needed from me the second we met”.
“You’ve been spending nights at Javy, you left your ring on the nighstand”. Your voice is heavy with emotion, your casting a gaze at him.
“Because of that, Y/n we have kids together, there’s other ways to fix our marriage”. Anxiety is bubbling inside of him.“Tell me why”. He goes with unable to pull any words together.
You snort at that,“Jake your gone for months at a time, your aren’t here to be with kids and when you are here, you don’t want to be”. Your voice breaks,“Just let me go please”.
He was losing you and for the first time in awhile Jake didn’t have a solution to his problem. He couldn’t drink his problems away, he couldn’t pull maneuver out of his ass to save his life. Jake Seresin has to sit here and lose his wife to his own selfishness.
“Red I’m in love with you, I can’t just let you go”. You blink with confusion, and it breaks Jake heart watching his wife underestimating the love he had for you.
Jake chair flys back onto the ground he’s on his knees with his head in your lap crying,“ Give me a chance please darlin-let make it up to you”.
“You can’t fix whats broken Jake, you can’t undo years of pain in a night”. You could feel his tears through your silk pajama pants, he squeezes his eyes shut.
“I’m sorry Y/n”. He grabs your hand and holds it with a firm grip.
For a second you think about taking him back—ripping up the papers and throwing them away but you can’t. You pull his face out of your lap and sigh—you prayed for this day to never happen but it did. You leaned back—grabbing the papers and the pen.
Your letting go for him.
“Just sign em Jake”.
Your starting the process of going back to becoming Y/n Bradshaw.
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mariatesstruther · 10 months
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I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.
I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?
okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go
i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie
ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves
shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.
i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut
ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay
ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is
okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec
y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man
we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could
point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show
tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”
tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for
and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)
but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love
so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is
again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do
but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE
so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive
and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????
so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY
we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.
(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)
and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming
so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)
AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy
the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too
so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.
i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????
it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda
but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”
WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES
maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to
so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE
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willialwaysbehere4 · 14 days
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I decided id stay up & draw the prototype design for my batman forever self insert that ive been cooking up for maybe a week or 2 now. The colors are probably a,little off it's ok (edit like 3 days later i fixed them). Ramblings under the cut mostly cus its 4am and i dont wanna forget my ideas
I went w ocd for her ? bad phrasing. She has ocd (basically the same as mine or at least with the same subtypes& compulsions) and since batman forever revolves around psych stuff and theres already did (twoface and also bruce Im pretty sure??) schizophrenia(?) (chase? i think) + bpd (Edward.) i figured it'd work w/o getting too muddied w everything else or looking like i just slapped a label on her I did name my batman oc caterwaul (well. "kate"erwaul) ok i couldn't think of anything else but i wanted the c.e. initials for samesies also I don't think cain eulogy straight up wouldve worked and i know there's literally an E Nygma but idk. A little too outlandish. Ftr i headcanon edward to be bi (with a preference for men but he isn't all that picky in regards to gender) but im kinda making that a "teehee guys look at my selfship cope" thing here. They probably maybe could've gotten together and lived happy ever after and no riddler and blahblah but cait just never bothered by assumption RIP i'm not sure her feelings would be reciprocated anyawy just in general Some traits i'd give her..i don't really know shes kinda just me but with better socialization. She's pretty friendly overall and probably enjoys going to the company parties and chatting it up w her other coworkers but she also likes to keep to herself at times. she's probably a very private person all things considered. Something like a "you've been friends with this person for years but you don't know a thing about them" sorta deal Also speaking of that i think she would've been employed maybe about a month or two after edward but the time schematics get a little wonky there since actual websites weren't even a thing until 94 and he'd been working there for 2yrs by then so i don't know what she wouldve been working as.. probably just got her job shifted around but stayed in the same department>? If she were in the movie i think she'd just be a supporting character that appears for like 5 minutes after the whole "you were supposed to understand" scene. probably comforting edward or something. Not the scene directly after that where he's fake crying but like a bonus one scrunched between it where they're having a heartfelt moment Or something. You'd only see her the one time though and itd be an uncredited role
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valtianan · 1 year
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Idk if anyone has asked you yet but Ive recently stumbled onto your characters and I love their designs!! I was wondering if I could ask what your Warden, Hawke and Inquisitor are like? Maybe their classes and who they romanced in game?
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thank you SO MUCH for the ask! i have been sitting on these oc templates (original templates by hchomgoblin) for a while and i finally got the excuse to share them!
ramblings and proper capital letters under the cut
Etmeres Mahariel • Warden Commander • Warrior • Berserker/Reaver/Spirit Warrior • 24 years (Origins), 35 years (Inquisition), 201 cm, he/him
Etmeres comes across as stern and cool but he is not unkind. Born to two ancient elves and being raised by them until he was eight has left him feeling alienated from the world of Thedas, especially when his perception of the world is already different as someone with autism. Even if he comes off as intimidating because of his serious expression and blunt way of speaking, he is gentle and compassionate. To his companions he is a socially awkward softie but to his enemies he is a ruthless opponent.
Fun fact: Etmeres can read, write, and speak elven but he prefers to keep it a secret.
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Sterling Hawke • Champion • Mage • Blood Mage • Spirit Healer • 23 years (II), 35 years (Inquisition) 177 cm, he/him
Sterling is nothing if not suave and charming. That does not mean he's necessarily nice. During his time in Ferelden, he contracted tuberculosis and he was sent to the Frostback Mountains by his parents to tend to the illness. During the months spent there, he had ample time to study and educate himself. He now uses that education to sell the image of himself as a true businessman. He likes to describe himself as a "gentleman bastard."
Fun fact: Sterling isn't a dog person and was appalled when the Hawke family dog imprinted on him.
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Glendimar Lavellan • Inquisitor • Rogue • Tempest • 30 years (Inquisition), 170 cm, she/her
Glen is clever and a natural born leader but due to her mistakes in her past that lead to a lot of clan Lavellan's hunters dying, she is reluctant to accept a leadership position again. She is wise beyond her years and prone to melancholia because of her experiences in Kirkwall. Most of the time, however, she is spirited and passionate, a force to be reckoned with both in battles and intellectual debates.
Fun fact: Glen used to build and repair aravels but now woodwork is just a hobby to her.
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thank you for giving me the opportunity to lovingly blabber about my pcs! this only scratches the surface but if you guys are interested in their lore, i'll be more than happy to share more
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