wanders-in-stars

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told you guys i’d been cooking. just finished a gorgeous commission of @lastdb ’s myfanwy and everyone’s favourite whiteboy gore!! 🥹 thank you so much for commissioning me, leliana !

alt. versions below :

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Journeying around with Taliesin, Caryalind, Rumarin, Nebarra, and Lorion, I have come to the conclusion that Nebarra is the only one in possession of a single braincell

And he subtly roasts or snarks the others with *perfectly* timed dialogue to boot

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I know this post will most likely get buried under the chaotic mess that is Tumblr's unreliable tagging system, but I need to get this off of my chest either way.

for all of y'all using Nexus mods, the best way to utilize the site is to not sweat over every single stuff. yes, it has ignorant users and tittylicious mods you can't block no matter what, but you can ignore them. block mod authors who you know post only tittylicious mods, and suddenly your Nexus timeline will be (mostly) titty-free. blacklist tags you don't want to see. it's not as easy to curate your online experience on Nexus as it is on Tumblr, but it is possible.

ignore Hot Mods, or whatever the front page is called these days. ignore Mod of the Month. if you're a modder, don't give a fuck about the number of endorsements. I personally publish mods because I want to share them, not because I want my mods (or me) to become popular.

to be honest with you? as a relatively unknown modder I find solace in the obscurity of my mods--i get less shitty comments, less entitled users asking about this and that; in fact i get a lot more anxious if any of my mods suddenly become 'popular' as it increases the chance of it reaching that side of Nexus.

ignore shitty comments (unless they break Nexus rules, in which case report 'em). don't feed the trolls. delete, block the commenter and move on. don't dwell on them. turn off comments on your mod if it gets too much.

be kind, but don't be a pushover. if someone is nice to you, be nice to them back. if someone is being an ass to you, *don't* be an ass back. help people if it's within your power to help them--if it's not, kindly tell them "sorry, I can't" then move on. that's it. don't be a people-pleaser, but don't be a bitch either.

sometimes silence, block and report is enough. please, please save your dignity and do not argue about your political stance or LGBTQ+ rights or whathaveyou with someone else over a Skyrim mod. it's a losing battle. accept that you cannot change these people (at least, not through the internet, you can't). report and move on.

believe me, trying to come up with a witty and sarcastic retort to someone's hurtful comment would quickly drain your psyche. first-hand experience.

like... Nexus is not all that bad, but you gotta accept that you're gonna bump into a sizeable number of people who won't align with your beliefs and morals. you're gonna find people whose only beauty standard is prettified sex dolls with boobs the size of watermelons, you're gonna find bigots and racists and all sorts of humans under the sun. you're gonna find adults with zero reading comprehension, you're gonna find whiny entitled teenagers who rage when their 5500+ modlist doesn't play nice with your mod. if you don't want to bump into these people, then make a personal blog and post your stuff there instead.

keep a cool head, don't take everything to heart, and take a break when necessary. don't let those people break you.

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For some reason Taliesin and Nebarra often end up fighting each other in my game, despite the plethora of mods I have that are supposed to prevent friendly fire/aggro

Anyway I'm now just sitting back and watching as Taliesin (level 21) is getting his ass handed to him by Nebarra (level 14)

And I literally just heard this dialogue from them mid-fight:

Nebarra: Do you WANT to die?

Taliesin, immediately: I'm too pretty to die!

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The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (7/∞)

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Almost went to my Liked Songs instead of On Repeat, whoops 😂 Under a cut so it doesn't clog people's dash too much

"I'm Here" – Sarah Cothran. I've been feeling Emotions™ lately and this one just hits right.

"Genie In A Bottle" – Sofia Karlberg. I've been playing this to help me sleep for like three days in a row. It's beautiful.

"How Long (Stripped at home)" – Tove Lo. The things she does with her voice in this are just so Satisfying, the heartache and desperation... vibes. Also the little laugh at the end? Iconic

"Let Me Down Slowly" – Alec Benjamin ft. Alessia Cara. I've been in an Alec Benjamin kind of mood lately, especially for his softer, slower, heartache type songs, and Alessia's voice just compliments him so well here.

"Sometimes Hearts Break" – Nathan Wagner. This one was actually on repeat for a character playlist bc it reminds me a bit of a friend's OC when the poor guy fell in love hard.

"glimpse of us" – emlyn. I kind of hate this song, the lyrics make me mad, but the way she sings this one is just amazing and so I've been listening to it a lot just vibing and tuning out the words.

"Fancy Toys" – LBLVNC/THROVN/RIELL. I love almost anything RIELL does and this one is no exception, her voice is the personification of angst and girl power to me.

"Keep It to Myself" – Ellise. I could swear I haven't actually played this one more than a couple times so idk how it ended up here but yeah! Ellise's stuff is a vibe

"Break Your Heart" – Finn HP. I found Finn through one of his YouTube covers the other week and I was immediately obsessed with his voice, y'all please go bless your ears and give him a listen cause I swear it's a voice I'd die for

"HALF A HEART" – Ellise. Another of hers, I've had like three of her albums/EPs on repeat for a while. This one was also on repeat for a while bc it reminded me of another friend's OC who got messed up after she and her lover were forced to duel to the death. Sweet, sweet angst.

Honorable Mentions (because I've been obsessed with these lately and my On Repeat did me dirty by not including them in the shuffle):

"Winter" – RIELL

"Cruel Summer" – RIELL

"Declined" – Britton

"Highest Love" – Carly Rose

"Figure You Out" – VOILÀ

"Therapy" – VOILÀ

shuffle your on repeat playlist (on spotify) and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people (I don't know 10 people)

Thank u @sabrirene for the tag :P

Sudden Death in Carolina by Brand New - absolute banger, the lyric "when I'm talking to myself I'd always rather be talking to you" is so real. Brand New is like bottled teen angst sometimes

Someone Else's Bed by Hole - It's such a somber song but I really like it

A Loving Feeling by Mitski - maybe I'm wrong but I feel like this is such an underrated mitski song. Definitely one of my all time favorites, love listening to it while daydreaming about being unhappily in love

Me vs Your Friends by The Flat Stanleys - BANGER sorry for the sin of loving shitty Midwest emo but GOD i love this song

MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday - probably one of the songs I know completely by heart it was a huge favorite when I was younger a CLASSIC must have for any emo nostalgia playlist

But Here We Are by The Foo Fighters - I love this song, it's got a great beat!

First Love/ Late Spring by Mitski- I promise I listen to other music than weird emo shit dad rock and mitski but this is probably my favorite mitski song. "I can't breathe, please don't say you love me"

Pendulum by Bay Faction - Bay Faction is my friend Luka's favorite band, he got me to listen to them and I really love this song, there's just something about it that makes me wanna play it on repeat it's so good! It's actually number one on my on repeat rn!!

XO by Fall Out Boy - my favorite Fall Out Boy song (available on Spotify) and if I'm ever getting a tattoo it's a keyhole with an eye in it, inspired by this song and some alternative album art for FUTCT

Pavlove by Fall Out Boy - another Fall Out Boy banger, it just recently got added to Spotify so I've been playing it a lot! It's really good though I'm happy to finally have it on Spotify so I can listen to it whenever!

Tagging: @2009scourge @apokalyptiskgengangare @diagoose @jinruihokankeikaku @pumpkinofthedale and whoever else wants to do it!

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WIP Wednesday Saturday: A Narrow Escape

Tagged by @dalishthunder ! Sorry I been dead lately, been sucked back into SWTOR. Basically this fic is told from the perspective of a couple of bandits who narrowly escape being eaten by Tamar one dark and stormy night

~~~

It was raining again.

Ma'varr had smelled the coming storm a day prior, and warned Kemmel and the others of it. After a few years of running together, they knew better than to doubt the Khajiit's sharp senses. And so they raised their tents, oiled their armour, and donned their cloaks in preparation.

Sure enough, some ten hours later, the rain arrived just as he'd predicted. Everyone sat hunched in their tents, hoods raised against the storm; some grumbled about the autumn weather, others sleeping the hours away. Ma'varr alone faced the storm, stationed on watch.

The roads were often slim pickings during storms. slim was better than none, as Kemmel often said. He'd appointed Ma'varr to the early watch, the dark hours before dawn when all the smart, decent people of the world were asleep.

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Some lovelies!! Thank u all for the Skyrim screenshots, it has helped me greatly<33

Characters and their owners, from left to right:

Antony, who belongs to @old-skulls

Imedril, owned by @lilythekhajiit

Caedmon, for @connorcounterspell

Gaelora, owned by @dramaticpandabear

Tamar, owned by @wanders-in-stars

Tilavyne, owned by @tiredela

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WE GOT TAMAR ART FOLKS, LESSGOOOOO

HUGE thank you to the lovely @ralofofriverwoods for this, pls do go and check em out their style is AMAZING and they captured Tamar PERFECTLY, she looks so feral, I'm in tears I love it sm 🥺❤️

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Okay hear me out. What if the Falmer were culturally far more similar to the modern day nords rather than the altmer or the ayleids?

Like if the Falmer's culture was a more intense version of what we see of the ancient nords in Skyrim. Because the nords kind of just integrated their own culture into the falmers. Maybe the Falmer were originally far more similar to the vikings and other ancient Scandinavian cultures rather than just being the altmer but pale.

Or maybe even towards the end of their reign they started to shift cultures to a more altmer influenced lifestyle and religion making Auri-el a more prominent God figure in their pantheon. Sort of similar to how Scandinavia got christianised.

It would explain why tensions between the Atmorans and the Falmer suddenly became so high when they were previously living peacefully together.

It would also be fascinating to consider the fact the nords could actually be descendants of both the atmorans and the Falmer. Sort of like the bretons. It's very difficult to completely wipe out an entire country worth of people. And not every Falmer wanted to go underground with most being opposed to the idea. So it would make more sense for those who didn't join the Dwemer for protection to be slowly "integrated" with the atmorans which would explain the entire disappearance of the rest of the Falmer. It also gives the modern day Nords a new context which I really like because its sort of poetic irony the nords themselves would be another small part of what was left of the ancient falmer.

Also there's no way a bunch of people living in freezing cold temperatures aren't going to have beards. Bethesda is lying to me.

Anyways it might not line up with canon but it's an interesting thought. Also brings some funny scenarios to mind.

For more details go here

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actually i love colour

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Snow Elf culture?

*pulls up a chair*

Perhaps...

A wee disclaimer that I'm not particularly good or creative with developing cultures or societies, but my brain has just latched on to the snow elves in a way where I can't stop myself. But anyway

I developed a lot of this because of a big ass draft for a fic I've been writing on and off about Gelebor and Vyrthur, so a lot of my headcanons are religion heavy. I'll start there:

Gelebor seems to place Auri-El and the Chantry of Auri-El as having significant importance to the Snow Elves over the other gods/temples. He's probably got a bit of bias in that regard since he's devoted his life to Auri-El, but in order to differentiate their religion from the other elven ones I like to think that their religion in general worshipped Auri-El as not even just as the figure head of their pantheon, but almost monotheistical, while the other gods (Trinimac, Syrabane, Jephre and Phynaster according to Gelebor) were like minor divine figures or just legendary heroes even more than in Altmer myth, depending on the interpretation. My idea is that if their culture had been allowed to continue on, it would've eventually become monotheistic, but by the arrival of the Nords they were in a bit of an awkward transition period with it.

I also like to lean into the sun motif with Auri-El that they established in Dawnguard and with Auriel's Bow, partially because it's another thing to make their depiction of him more unique, and in part because it makes some very juicy irony for Vyrthur. Some ideas include:

- The more religious folk tend to pray at noon when the sun is at it's highest. - The two biggest snow elf festivals happen on the summer and winter solstices. As far north as they are, the summer solstice is during a time of year where the sun barely sets and the winter one is during a time of year where it barely rises. The summer one is more jovial and celebratory, with a grand feast. With almost 24 hours of daylight, the festivities last up to three days straight, with folks commonly staying awake for over 24 hours. Most of it is spent outside, with the celebration being focused on making the most of the weather and daylight hours to spend as much time in the sun and the light of Auri-El as possible. The winter festival is as large scale but lasts longer and is lower-key. It also involves a feast but features more winter foods and meat and alcohol. It is more pensive. At this point in the year, there is no full daylight, and so this season is seen as a test of one’s faith and mental fortitude. This festival acts as a break from this trying time, taking time to relax, build community (a strong community will allow them to make it through the winter and strengthen their minds), and bond with family and friends. It is about a weeklong break, where leading up to the festival everyone works harder to prepare for it and allow themselves to have the break. There are activities and festivities, but they remain indoors for the most part and are smaller. - I've referenced this before, but with long winters with little sunlight (due to harsh weather and short days), they see that time of year as a reflective test of will and faith.

Due to their proximity to dragons, it was hard to miss the connection between Auri-El (/Akatosh) and dragons, and so their depiction of Auri-El is either much more influenced by the iconography of dragons, or is a dragon (although their depiction of dragon Auri-El is much more benevolent than the Nord/Atmoran one). I got the idea for this one from this Reddit post (i know I dog on Reddit a lot but this one has got some fun stuff in it, even if it's a bit out there)

^On that note, later in the timeline (post Dragon War (the timeline is very fuzzy on when this and the Night of Tear happens. They are both sometime vaguely in the late Merethic Era I believe, but it's unclear which happens first or how long each conflict is)) some Snow Elves see a sort of unreturned, unofficial comradery with dragons, seeing themselves as both on the receiving end of the Nord's/Atmoran's brutality (disregarding whether it was warranted or not in the context of the Dragon War).

Ok here's some more general cultural ones:

I mentioned my reasoning for this in this post, but I like to think their general settlements were not as permanent, with a larger focus on wood and building into the sides of hills (good for warmth), while their temples tended to be made of stone and much more permanent. This is why there are so few identifiable Snow Elf ruins across Skyrim. Their cities and towns were easy to wipe out, scavenged for resources, or were in good places for Nordic cities (perhaps Bromjunaar was originally the site of a Snow Elf city?), and their temples were either very hidden (e.g. the Chantry of Auri-El) or eventually converted to Nordic temples.

I love this journal in general for gleaning ideas for Snow Elf headcanons for, but one interesting this is the use of "Old Ones" and "Young One". They're treated like established titles. From that I like to think they place a lot of emphasis on the respect of those older than you. The social hierarchy and whose opinions are most valued is heavily influenced by age. Folks call anyone older or more revered “Old Ones” as a term of respect, and anyone younger than them “Young Ones”. Old One is almost never used in a demeaning way, but Young One can be (not always). Typically, “Old Ones” is used in the third person (e.g. you wouldn’t refer to someone directly as “old one”) whole “Young One(s)” can be used as an epithet for someone directly or in third person.

When thinking about death/"burial" customs (needed for some scenes in the fic I'm planning), you have to consider that there probably wasn't a lot of land in a place like Skyrim where someone can be buried. Nords intern their dead in crypts or burn them to get around this, and I like to think Snow Elves participated in something akin to sky burials (at least sometimes). After preparation, the departed's body is left outside on a ledge, cliff, or the temple balcony to be scavenged by birds. This is seen as a metaphorical return to Aetherius, while their soul literally returns to it. They do this even in poor weather or deep winter. If it doesn’t thaw and rot/be scavenged until months later, so be it. The length it takes to rot is considered indicative of how long it takes for the spirit to let go and move on (not in a bad way though. It’s interpreted more in the way of the soul or body grieving). It's seen as if they may wish to wait until spring to finally rot if they want to experience one more warm, sunny day.

Food (I mostly wrote this in my notes in the context of the Forgotten Vale and Chantry of Auri-El, but I think it could work elsewhere as well to an extent): Plant-based food is grown in gardens in the spring and summer, and that that is able to be stored is carefully preserved through the fall and winter. Winter foods include some nuts, dried vegetables, and dried and preserved/fermented grains (like wheat, barely). These foods must be eaten slowly throughout the winter to last, and winter diets are more meat based. Summer foods include apples, cabbage/lettuce, leeks, tomatoes etc. Snowberries can be found in the wild out of season of most other fruits, and provide fruit in very early spring. Occasionally, fungus from caves is harvested, but this is seen as a delicacy (foreshadowing).

Ok, that's it for now. I gotta go to bed. Thanks for the ask!!!! :D

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Ko’tali

A former Khajiit spy who decided to stay in Skyrim after her latest mark was killed. 

Who is Ko’tali?

Ko’tali is an essential Alfiq follower for Skyrim that currently does not exist. I plan to write a script, quests, and do voice acting for her, but I would have to partner with/hire a programmer in order to make her a reality. 

So what’s the point of this blog?

I plan to post her dialogue and story here! I’d love to attract the attention of a programmer this way, but I’m mostly doing this for fun and to participate in tumblr’s custom follower community.

Would Ko’tali be different than a normal follower?

I don’t know much about modding, but ideally she would function differently than most followers:

She rides on the player’s head and shoulders rather than following behind them.

She is a mage who can be asked to swap between “attack” and “defense” modes. “Attack” is self explanatory, but in “defense” mode, she would work to protect and support the player via wards and healing spells. 

Out of combat, she can also be asked to cast Muffle, Candlelight, Telekinesis, and possibly other spells.

She has no inventory and cannot be asked to carry anything.

Who are you?

I’m a hobbyist writer and amateur voice actress who has an unhealthy obsession with Skyrim lol

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The toxic urge to download a bunch of overhaul mods and start a clean save is back

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something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not