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simple-ponderings · 4 years ago

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Universal Guidance- Pick a Card

Welcome back to another pick a card. This is one is mostly centered on where you are on your journey right now and the advice The Divine wants to relay to you. This time Ive done something different. Ive done some shufflemancy and added songs for you to listen for any additional messages. These messages may or may not resonate as its a general reading and thats ok. There are always messages being sent but they wont always be for you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask God or whoever you feel a bond most strongly with, to help you choose a pile.

+++PLEASE READ! Before you go down to your reading, I wanted to say that the most prevalent theme happening for all groups is that you’re all going through significant change. The Death card and The Last Judgement card came out for all three readings. All of us are experiencing change in different ways. I believe this is something being Divinely orchestrated. Things that need to end and also come to fruition will come to pass, whether you are ready or not. Hang in there everyone. We will get through this.++++++

Pile 1:

While shuffling I saw and got the notion of a journey, or the beginning of one. Traveling. There were sperm whales, mermaid tails, deep sea. Traveling on a rocky mountain, like in LOTR. I also saw a volcano. There was a weird wooden gate, with black bolts that looked like the Dolce & Gabana logo.

Im getting the feeling of stubbornness. Almost as if there is something you know you need to be doing or not doing, and then you dont do it or do it anyway. The Death card was overall energy and then when I went to clarify Princess of Pentacles it came out again- quite quickly too. Is there an ending you are hesitant to release? Maybe it has to do with your habits, mindsets, aspects of yourself, or the people who have served their purpose in your spiritual journey. Regardless, something needs to come to close so that other cycles in your life-whether its having new friends, obtaining a new job, or learning something new, or anything, may begin. It can even be so simple as “The New You” emerging. Its like youre stuck in the past I think, with memories of someone or how you used to be, and now that that has been taken away youre kind of unsure of yourself and where to go. Maybe you feel a little ungrounded and not really confident?...Im really starting to get the feeling that this was a person you were dealing with, and they just couldnt really deliver. Its like being around them for so long has sucked you into weird environments that arent really in your best interests. I know this is a general reading but this is a feeling I cant shake, I apologize if this message does not resonate with you. If it doesnt resonate then it is not for you. This person, was most likely sent for your activation and transformation. Im sorry that its so unpleasant :(. You need to break free from this. Its like youve experienced both the really dark aspects, and now are coming to experience the really light aspects. I think this is what new cycle awaits you, but you are hesitant to let it because you’ve been exposed to that darkness for sometime. Maybe you even comfortable in it because it may be what you expect? This is just one stop on your journey, even though it feels as if it’ll stretch on and on and on. Give yourself time to grieve that which was lost. But remember you must get back up eventually, and begin building your new reality. You arent alone in this. You will soon leave the desolate rocky terrain and move into beautiful meadows filled with flowers. But its up to YOU to go out there and create your reality- your life, your legacy that makes you happy and is for your highest good. You are being pointed in the right direction, you are always being guided. Believe that for yourself no matter what others tell you, or no matter how things seem, or no matter what even you think. Dont let the negativity of others stop your abundance, your uniqueness, and most of all the beauty of your soul. There are some important things for you to consider: 777 and Volcanoes. Also you might wanna give the song “No Running Water” by The Flashbulb a listen for additional messages. Thank you for reading Feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

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Pile 2:

While shuffling, I saw an open path with wild grass on either side. The road was made of dirt. There was the word DATE written in red with other words. It looked like some sort of official document. I saw Space, and a blue light being. This pile felt a little dark, like some heavy energy but not too heavy- more like somberness.

I feel like theres this onset of spiritual power, but you may feel as if youre not ready for it or its too much. Or it could even be that you experience emotion very deeply. And so you kind of focus on the material and logical aspects of yourself, almost kind of “rejecting” that spiritual and emotional side. I think you have alot of spiritual gifts, but you dont want to go “too deep”. You are comfortable with seeing tangibility and are used to seeing whats right in front of you. But I believe the doors to the Unknown are being revealed to you. You see all these phenomena happening and you just “Observe” it kind of. Theres this feeling of not wanting to get too involved so you just keep your distance. By that I mean, you just watch and observe things and try to remain unaffected. Its almost as if you putting your spiritual self at arms length is your way of self-defense if that makes sense? Its like youre trying hard to cling to the old you, how you and your life used to be, before all THIS happened. What are you afraid of? Perhaps you are a person who wonders if there is any merit or tangible reward for diving deep and I think if you do decide to dive deep it will feel that way. “Whats the point of it all?” But its to help you embrace your Fire, your gifts so to speak. If you do decide to walk this path of spirituality and embracing yourself, getting comfortable with the unknown, I feel you will be a completely different person. A Complete Rebirth so to speak. And maybe you are scared of that. I think The Divine is trying to point you in this direction. It will get easier. As you begin to walk this path, things will become Clearer. And I feel you will feel so much more “In Tune” with The Divine or whoever you believe in. I see a link, essences intertwining. Whats meant to happen will happen. Fate. Be kind to yourself during this period. Make sure you take the time to ground yourself and even go outside and get a breath of fresh air. It will help clear your head and balance yourself. You are Loved no matter what. You arent alone, you can let your guard down. Important things to consider: Angel Number 66. Pay attention to how you feel, whether it be around others or the emotions you feel in general. I think being near bodies of water, or even moon gazing may help you. I even think carrying selenite around may be of help to you. Remember to take care of yourself mentally and physically! Keep yourself balanced. Also give “Severed” by The Flashbulb a listen for any additional messages. I hope you enjoyed this reading and feedback is always appreciated!

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Pile 3:

I felt bliss and happiness. I saw a plant growing. There is this feeling of building something thats here to stay.

Im thinking you guys went through hell and back despite that feeling of bliss I felt when shuffling. Overall theres a overarching theme of having everything in life be on track, but when it comes to love it seems that thats where you begin to run into problems. It could even just be relationships in general. Or rather everything is finally going right, but theres this feeling of something coming to “haunt” you. Something that you’ve thought was over with and finished but manages to come back into your life. I feel like you’ve been through some tough shit and have tried your damned best to make the situation better. Like you’ve broken free from some sort of attachment or restriction but there is still a lingering feeling of obligation, almost as if you still feel the need to give it your energy. Maybe things didnt end on the right foot. Maybe there were things left unsaid. There is a message of unfinished business. But this part of your life will soon be wrapping up. After this hurdle, something new will arise from it. An opportunity that will sprout its way into the physical world. Its very weird, theres this notion of finally seeing the light of day after being surrounded by the night. The first light of the Dawn. Its as if youre running a marathon and youve made it through all these obstacles to reach the finish line. Youre almost there, just a little more. This experience you went through, gave you the wisdom you needed to be where you are in life. It made you who are you are. You have gone through much transformation. Im really proud of you. But The Divine is saying you have to go through this for just a little longer. To Be who you were meant to Be. Understand that whatever happens, it is always within your power to decide how you want to act. You always have the power to choose differently. Always choose what feels right for you. Always choose what you know to be true. What has this journey taught you so far? What lessons have you learned? How have you changed? Use these teachings and apply them to your life and how you want to live. Important things for you to consider: 1010 is significant for you. I believe after this ordeal things will only get better for you. When you feel things are getting out of control or too much, take deep breaths and bring yourself back to the present- back to balance. Remember you are in control of how you respond, you always have a choice. Take it one step at a time too, its ok if you dont get it right away. We have the utmost patience and love for you. Also give “Home” by Brian Mcknight a listen as there may be additional messages for you. I hope you enjoyed this reading. I really hope I was able to offer you some clarity. Feedback is always appreciated!

#pick a pile #pick a card #tarotcommunity #tarotreading #pick a pile tarot #divination #pick a deck #shufflemancy

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hereliesbitches--me · 4 years ago

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Full name: Jacob Alvin McCool

Nickname(s) or Alias:

Abbadon

Papi (By Zoey alone)

Dad

Gender: Dude Species: Lesser Angel (Earth Angel variation) Age: 38 Birthday: December 25, 1977 Sexuality: Biromantic, but sexual trauma has left him very resistant about the touch of another man. Very narrow criteria for such a thing to happen, but not impossible Nationality: American, Scotish/Irish descent primarily. Has some latin roots from his mother’s side City or town of birth: San Francisco, USA Currently lives: New York City Languages spoken: English, mediocre grasp of spanish, some Gaelic phrases Accent/diction: Having lived in New York for more than half his life, he’s picked up on mixed dialects from different parts of the city. But it's clear he's a New Yorker Relationship Status: Complicated, but Married with kids.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6’10 Weight: 400 pounds (His bones and muscle fibers are incredibly dense) Figure/build: Boxy, build like a tank. Inverted triangle shape with broad shoulders and a slightly narrower waist. Theres little to no fat content on him thanks to his unbelievably high metabolism, at least on the surface. Hair color: Black with subtle grey here and there if you look closely. Not that you would be able to. Short stacks Hairstyle: Shaggy, short cut. Never visits the barber, literally burns or chops his hair himself with claws bcuz of its dense fibers. His hair has a coarse strawlike texture bcuz he’s never learned to properly take care of it.

Eye colour: Sky blue Skin color: Warm beige Piercings: The only piercings he gets are from monster teeth, claws, bullets, and knives. Occasionally from being thrown through walls or cars and the shrapnel stabs a ew inches in. Not really too keen about getting a piercing tht can be pulled out in a fight Scars/distinguishing marks: Jacob is a patchwork of discolored scars all over, primarily from the experiments in the days before his regenerative abilities were fully triggered. His skin is rough, his hands and knuckles have well formed calluses, his face has priment scars down his eye, brow, nose, cheeks, and lips. Most of his major scars, particularly burn and piercing scars, are on his torso and his back. His legs and arms are riddled with scrape and grazing scars, but are pretty well hidden under hair.

Preferred style of clothing: He essentially always looks like a caveman/ hobo at all hours. He has not had a true wardrobe change since he had clothes in his teens and early 20s given to him while he was doing illegal side jobs. His typical outfit is worn down dirty jeans, a black hoody thats got holes and tatters, and a white tshirt underneath. His pants and shirt seem ready to tear at the seams when he flexes but it aint broke yet, so he doesnt try to buy anything new. He’s not used to having a lot of money so he’s stingy about what he uses it on. He basically uses it all on food or has Nikki manage it.

Frequently worn jewelry: A pair of dogtags with “DogBoy” embedded in them. Every other detail has been dented or scratched out. Belongs to who he believes to be his dad ( a man that everyone believes he made up)

HEALTH

Bad Habits:

Cigarette smoker ,

Junkfood eater,

Emotionally constipated and does not do well when faced with verbal confrontation about emotions (which adds to the complications of his marriage) . He’d much rather fuck it out and have everything be alright, but thats bcuz hes a neanderthal. Hes learned how to properly act and work through feelings

Has 0 kind of table manners. Eats like a wild dog. Has bad food aggression (which means, if he shares, he likes u)

Breaks shit when hes upset.

Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: Suffers a mild form of psychosis, experiencing primarily auditory hallucinations. Because of his heightened supersenses, he is almost always overwhelmed at any time, though he’s learned to hide it, which leaves him incredibly irritable at all times. His ailment also causes him to have no filter in the things he says, which means he tends to say the first thing that comes to his mind, no matter how ridiculous and irrational it is. He suffers mild paranoia and irrational thoughts, which plays in part with the belief of who his parents are (His records are lost when they found him as a stray 7 year old in the streets of a natural disaster. He swears his father is a superhero called “ The dogboy '' of San francisco, his mother was killed by demons and his dad died stopping the natural disaster. Chalking it up to shock, they later believe its his delusions of grandeur in dealing with the trauma of his parents death. Which is, in fact, not true -- to be expanded on later ) . Along with that original condition, he also has symptoms of PTSD stemming from the events which triggered the full extent of his abilities.

Any medication regularly taken: As desperately as he wants to be medicated, his high metabolism makes it nearly impossible to be medicated with lasting effects, on top of his fear of hospitals , his only relief comes from Rosie’s ability to temporarily block and dull his senses to a livable level.

PERSONALITY

Personality: At first glance, Jacob would come off as your cliche bad ass bad boy type that's so haunted by his past that he won't let anyone in. Which, to some extent, he is. But, the major difference is Jacob doesn't use his past as a shield or an excuse for anything. He’s a traumatized man that's socially awkward and closed off from people because, with a reputation of being a monster and a killer everytime you try to help people, those words do hurt when that's all you've heard all your life. Jacob is a boy living in a man’s body, a clam that faces the world that damns him with a glare and a scowl in every initial meeting, til a string of kindness gets the turtle out of his shell. He perceives everyone as trying to hurt him or use him in some way, but be around him long enough and he begins to warm up. Despite his brutish nature out in the fighting field, behind closed doors he’s much more quiet. Keeps to himself, really only speaks when spoken to -- and anyone who tries to start a casual conversation with him will legitimately shock him because he’s hardly ever treated like a human being. He may start as a dickhead that ignores you and brushes you off, but with enough consistency his edges will soften. One catch is the fact that Jacaob is painfully blunt with one hell of a potty mouth, usually saying the first thing that comes to mind primarily because hes used to only talking to himself or his dog. Or snapping back at people in self defense. Ever since reuniting with his family, Jacob is learning to be more of a family man, along with playing nice with others (something which he’s never had to do before, and its like pulling teeth when they are loud idiots) He learns everyday and he’s trying to curb his initial dickish behavior to something more neutral, to learn to process and face emotions in a healthy manner, and be as close to normal as someone like him can get. Just dont be a dick and make demands, and he’ll be a good boy. Can't stand loud or pushy people invading his space

Strengths:

A diehard friend once you've gotten him out of his shell. He may be awkward but he’s willing to throw a bitch a few blocks if needed

P good shadow caster if u gotta hide from the sun since hes a tall bitch

Will lend u his jacket but it stinks. Sorry folks

Will try to make u friends with his kids. Especially his daughter, she needs friends and so does his wife

The scary one u send out to intimidate the shit out of people bcuz his reputation precedes him

Wanna get carried? People don't weigh anything to him. He could hold a couple of em in his tendrils

Weaknesses:

Food, especially sweets of any kind. He’s entirely food motivated and his senses get thrown off by food. Because of his metabolism, he has to eat large quantities of food regularly.

Hyper senses means hes easily overwhelmed by particularly loud sounds and strong smells

He likes feeling like he's needed. He’s drawn to it. Deep down, he really is just a boy in the body of a man looking for a place in the world beyond being a big stupid weapon for everyone. He’s searching for that intimacy of understanding , gets frustrated so easily

His first meetings with people tend to be aggressive and dismissive, but its mainly because he’s unused to being greeted with kindness. He perceives that everyone is looking to take advantage of him or theyre trying to hurt him. He has a bad reputation because when he tries to help, he causes heavy collateral damage in the fight, thus painting him as a danger to the city. Used to being treated like a monster, so he clams up into his little bubble before he gets his feelings hurt. His paranoid thoughts dont help.

Electrocution can stun him better than any bullet, tank shell, or fire based weapon can. Also triggers trauma flashes

Fears/phobias:

Hospitals / Doctors / Medical equipment

Deep water (anything deep enough that he could drown in. Because of his dense body, he is not a strong swimmer and quickly sinks)

Being in chains and restrained

Abandonment / being alone / being rejected

Hobbies :

Jacob has a part time job besides the angel project , working at a small hole in the wall bakery in the less than savory parts of New York City. He is a cashier and helps with the baking process , gets free samples, and closes because no one has the balls to try to break into the shop when he's there. .

He thoroughly enjoys baking and sharing that with his family. Cooking is one of the qualities he works on with Nikki to bond over.

Sparring with his twins. He tries his hardest to adjust to the abrupt change of his life, but he loves them. Doesn't want them to be tormented the way he was.

When he's not working or with the family, he aimlessly wanders around the city out of habit. Likes running and jumping across rooftops for fun.

Carving figurines out of wood or large stones he finds, using his claws

Theme Song:

Behind Blue Eyes by limp bizkit

I Dont Care by Fallout Boys

I know im a Wolf by Young Heretics

Quirks:

His sugary diet actually makes him have a natural sweet scent underneath his natural musk, especially his sweat. Jacob has restless leg syndrome when he sits, especially when he has particularly bad auditory hallucinations. Tends to sniffle, breathe heavy, and constantly run his hand through his hair to soothe himself. He swipes around his ear like there's an irritating bug because he tends to hear a buzzing a lot. It is known that he is considered one of the strongest angels in the world in terms of raw physical body power.

SKILLS

Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles? Who even drives in New York? There’s public transportation, there's running across rooftops like the cryptid u are, or jacking someone’s bike. Yeah, he can drive, but not legally. He learned on his own and hasn’t really bothered with going for a license

Education: Dropped out of highschool in senior year, then got booted out of his foster home when he hit 18. Basically grew up in the street among criminals til he was kidnapped, so he has no real education beyond what he hardly paid attention to in school. He knows the basics of math, reading, writing -- has impeccable knowledge about human anatomy for illegal reasons, but no one gotta know that. He never thought about college or what kind of steady career he would have in life, he lives everything day by day. No one is gonna say no to Jacob McCool without pissin themselves

EATING HABITS

Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore: Omnivore with a heavy preference for meat as a primary part of his diet Favourite foods: Beef, lamb, poultry, Sweet rolls, Cake, Donuts, ice cream, candy

Disliked foods: Not an avid vegetable eater in the slightest. Will not eat it raw. Someone gotta make it appealing or trick him into eating it.

COMBAT

Peaceful or aggressive attitude? Jacob is irritable and only wants to help people. He’s not usually one to start shit unless he thinks absolutely necessary, nor is he the first to throw a punch. But once that can of worms is open and he thinks it's a worthy cause, he’ll fold a bitch like a pretzel. Humans aren't even worth his time, but nonhumans? Monsters? He’ll jump right into the brawl when there's no talking to be done. Talking is what other people do, he’s the muscle there to fight.

Fighting skills/techniques: Jacob is a physical brawler in the heavyweight category. Hits like a truck and relies on his own body’s durability to withstand the blows thrown back at him. He’s a full on offense style fighter that’ll utilize grappling , throwing, and breaking bones to end a fight. All he knows is to fight monsters until the other stops moving or taps out. He has to practice restraint, which is incredibly difficult.

Special skills:

Heightened senses + Physical abilities (Strength, endurance, etc) His nose is stronger than that of a bloodhound and his hearing can be incredibly acute if he has enough focus.

Regenerative healing abilities, though nearly impossible to actually hurt

him when his muscle and bones are fortified for battle. Has not had a break since he was a child, before his abilities were fully triggered. Can even survive without his head for a while. If it's blown off, then his body will have no choice but to rebuild with the expense of a huge amount of energy.

Bodily mutations (His muscles swell, harden, and change color to metallic like armor mainly on his limbs – able to form massive clawed hands and shield, and generally protect major body parts. However, cannot completely mutate himself at once. Can only do parts. ) + thick tendrils from his back. Strong, but not very good reach. It strains him to push it.

Resilience to superheat + pressure. Could take a supernova blast and still survive. Even tank shells with nothing more than bruising

Weapon of choice: He fights barefisted for as long as he can, or his go to are his claws purely for smashing and slashing.

Weaknesses in combat: Jacob is often impulsive and doesnt think much about whats going on around him while fighting. He causes a lot of collateral damage when he uses the environment around him like breaking off lamp posts, throwing cars, pieces of asphalt, etc. He thinks with an adrenaline fueled brain and somebody’s gotta slow him down . Because he’s a physical based fighter, he does not do well against magic users. He also hates the cold. Opponents like that are like hsi achilles and he shows wariness and discomfort when facing em. He does not like having the disadvantage but it effectively deterred him from just running in. Thinks with his stomach and doesnt exactly do well in fighting when he’s hungry

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES

Personal history: Jacob has a complex history, but for him not even he's all sure what's truth from fiction. What he remembers from the earliest memories of his childhood was a fight that shook the world. Where demons overrun, people are being slaughtered, and his father fights the big monster in the sky, then in a flash everything is destroyed and gone. His mother hides him, then just like that he was alone. Jacob is found a few days later as rescuers search the destroyed remains of san francisco after what is considered the worst earthquake ever recorded, an event which affected the entirety of the United States. He’s only a 7 year old boy at this time , bloodied and scraped up, saying his parents are missing. When they look for records or his names, Jacob Alvin McCool does not exist. No birth certificate, no medical records, nothing. He knows his name and the name of his parents, but there is nothing to be found. He has no choice but to become a ward of the state and becomes swept into the foster system. Where he would move home to home until he was 18 years old and dumped on the street. Jacob was considered a problem child unlike a regular boy; He was moody, destructive, unnatural with the things he talked about. He was stronger than other kids and broke things without meaning to, but when it happens regularly people doubt the truth to the constant excuse of “It was an accident” He had acute hearing, his teeth aren't normal, his eyes have an uncomfortable intensity for a boy so small, and he doesn't get along with others. Hes sent to therapy and everything he says is unbelievable. He’s sick, but it seems no amount of medication does anything to change it. He wont tell about all the bad things that happen when no one believes him, because there is no evidence for it. Its all in his head. Every parent who had him struggled, and eventually gave the boy up to the next set of hands with nothing but a garbage bag full of clothes. Every exchange closes the boy up more and more, pushing him further to get into troubling groups that seem just like him, since thats what everyone says about him. From highschool onward jacob was already running drugs and taking petty jobs for cash, but his reputation as a fighter was well known among them. No one fucks with the big guy At least not until someone is willing to pay good money to have him. Jacob turns 18 and dropped out his senior year of highschool, not that he was a stellar student to begin with, but his parents at the time couldn't care less what that wild boy did with himself. It was for that reason, when he disappeared, not a soul cared. For 4 years Jacob is kept secret, for someone else believes his story about his father, and someone wants to see his full potential reached as the father before him . They would achieve that no matter what it took. 4 years of Hell to add onto his shit life: tortured, shocked, pumped full of chemicals, starved. Stressed to the limit, pushed to the brink of death and brought back over and over again, scarred and branded, til it was finally enough to trigger the dormant gene. The monster they codenamed Abbadon is born, and far more than they bargained for. With nothing but a trail of red and a mess of meat left over in the hallways, their prized experiment returned to the world from the depths of Hell, and there was no damn way to get him back. That broken boy was now a animal filled with rage and fear. He has no home, no money, no friends or family -- at least, until he remembers Jimmy. Which led him to make the trip cross country to find his brother. Its thanks to jimmy that jacob even found his footing, for his brother came from a wealthy family, and was a genius that worked for the government to make weapons that handle their demon problem in the city. The idea is hatched then, with his new powers, that fighting demons and saving the city would be a good way to pass the time. Things dont always work out in your favor when you lack control, and people are afraid of anything not like themselves. Despite the hate and labels, he still tries to save the day then goes into hiding. Goes back to taking odd jobs and underground fighting, where he met Rocky. 2 years later, he meets the 17 year old Nikki. It was one sided, but she was persistent in pursuing him, having nobody just like him. She was a girl on the run for her life, with no home or money, and she needed the company. Despite himself, he accepted her in, related with her, and thrived in the prospect that she needed him like no one else ever did. To save her from the mental suffering of being Neikan’s vessel, Jacob willingly makes a deal with Neikan to have nikki left alone in exchange for a kid. Abiding by to the terms, the 18 year old was expecting twins, but when tragedy struck she blames Jacob for the demise of the pregnancy, and damns him to never show his face again. Not knowing what else to do, equally distraught, he left her there and wouldnt see her again for another 8 years. Having no idea the events which followed, now that he was no longer shielding her. Jacob had lived on his own in all that time, secluded and trying to find his footing in the world, hes just keeping his head above water, til one fateful day when a 7 year old shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his daughter. Jacob, at 32, was in denial , but he did eventually give in to help the kid find her brother, and eventually find Nikki from Rosie. Currently Jacob is trying to adjust to his new life as a dad and a husband, with complications given that he and Nikki are not the same people they were all those years ago. Theyre learning to be friend, learning to love like they used to. Work it out for the sake of their teenage twins, and get to know each other properly this time around. Jacob is now a prominent member of the Angel project and works part time at a bakery. Whenever he’s not working, he’s with his family or he’s wandering around the city keeping an ear out for trouble. He’s become a little more respectable now that he’s working for the legal project, and it makes it easier to learn to be normal.

Raised by parents? No, raised through multiple foster homes and group homes, but never stable or happy because he was considered a problem child

Parents names: Jake Alvin McCool(The Dogboy) and Stacy Rivera (Biological parents no one believes exists)

Are parents alive or dead? Jake died by sacrificing himself to destroy Spurious in what would have been considered a battle for mankind, to spare his wife and son. Spurious survived slimy and traveled back in time to alter the future, to make Angels hunted and illegal , and the timeline in doing so completely altered the boy’s reality for that final fight to be nothing more than a catastrophic natural disaster on a continental scale . Stacy was killed by a demon but hid her son in time to keep him from being found. Jacob still has the knowledge of the true reality, but when they found him he was only a 7 year old boy by himself, with no records or anything to be found. He has to live his life being told the parents he swears exist and the events which occurred are simply hallucinations fed by his psychosis, and it drives him insane.

Siblings:

James(Jimmy) Jones ( Not biological, but had been in one of the group homes with Jacob for a period. During that time, they considered each other as brothers who have to watch each other’s backs, until they were separated by Jacob being moved again. They kept in contact through letters, til Jimmy was eventually adopted into the wealth Jones family. Jacob disappeared for years til suddenly making his appearance in New York out of the blue, where Jimmy now lived)

Relationship with siblings: Jimmy and Jacob had lost contact for a good 5 years before jacob reappeared in the city. They used to write letters to each other, but because of Jacob’s constant moving and nightlife , rarely any of his letters were returned. They are estranged brothers, mostly on Jacob’s part, but Jimmy still tries to take part in his life. He tries to invite jacob out, hang out with him even if Jacob is considered a criminal, though most of his attempts fall flat. Jacob doesnt exactly mean to alienate his brother from himself, but he cant bring himself to talk about the things that happened to him, and a part of him is afraid Jimmy will sniff it out. Now that they’re both older and parents, theyre working on better communication so their kids can hang out with each other. Even if Jimmy’s kids are dragons technically.

Partner/Spouse: Nikki Ai (Wife)

Children: Kaiya + Ericiel McCool ( A set of Fraternal twins, Ericiel is the oldest and Jacob did not meet them until they were 7 years old, when Kaiya showed up at his door claiming she was his daughter. With his twins having been presumed dead, he thought her nothing more of an illusion til he was fused with her pet blobby, who was in fact a portion of himself left behind with her. The start of their relationship was rocky with his denial, but he eventually did warm up to the idea and turned himself around. He loves his kids even if hes not entirely the best at showing it. Teenagers are just fuckin scary)

Best Friend:

Rocky Blagrove

Rosie Valentine

Ivan Bellemore

Other Friends:

Members of the Angel Project

Brian Howska ( A sweet idiot that helps teach other little angels how to fly)

Nute Norbery (Rocky’s former roommate. He, Rocky, Jacob, and Brian were a little gang of friends)

Enemies:

Kasimir (Kasimir he cannot stand for the life of him. He’s too loud, does not respect personal boundaries, and too full of himself to be even likeable. Jacob is especially irritated that Kasimir swears to everyone that they’re best friends)

Spurious (The God has had a vendetta against the McCool family since his initial defeat by jake. While he has much grander plans of taking out the Sun, Moon, and other Gods, Ruining the peaceful life of the last McCool is on his shitlist. He personally likes to torment jacob by irritating his hallucinations with demeaning voices and stirring up his trauma. Jacob has a vague idea who Spurious is, but its more of an instinctual hatred for the being)

Neikan and the Negatives (Sure he made a deal with her, but tehyre trying to kill his wife so now he’s gotta protect his family from em)

Pets: Roxie, an Irishwolfhound who belonged to his father. She was Jake’s familiar and always finds a way of getting back to Jacob no matter where hes moved across the country.

Verses included in:

- Iniquitous essence (The Bio above)

- The Widow

- TBA

#:Abaddon (Jacob McCool):#:V: Iniquitous essence:#I love him!! I love my son!!#I feel him so strongly lately

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yourkittywilde · 6 years ago

Text

i like me better when i’m with you

TAGGING → @yourkittywilde & @sammynolanh

TIME FRAME → ummm mid feburary (i think. i’m terrible).

LOCATION → NYC locations + Sammy’s apartment

WARNINGS → Alcohol. Also this is HELLA long.

NOTES → Sammy returns from filming in LA. There’s coffee, napping, and drinking. And they decide to move in together when they get to LA.

KITTY

Kitty was still debating even showing up to meet Sammy as she got to the coffee shop. It was easier to feel like she didnt need or want him around when he was thousands of miles away. She had done everything she could think of to prepare herself for his realization that they couldn't work any longer -- shed given dude back, she'd taken down the Polaroids from her wall, and kept Netflix off since it always seemed to watch to recomend she watch his movies again . Kitty had told him over and over again that she was terrible at relationships and she would eventually push him away, and the blonde felt as though it may have sunk in. Her heart sinks to her stomach when she sees her boyfriend -- he was still her boyfriend, right? -- and she wants to turn and run. But she could hardly avoid him forever (she'd tried that once). She swallowed nervously and took a seat across from him, looking down at the cup in his hand and up at him. "Hey. Welcome home."

SAMMY

Sammy was so lost in his thoughts, looking down at his hands, that he hadn’t even seen or heard Kitty sit across from him until he heard her voice which removed him from thoughts, a smile appearing on his lips without a second thought. He was happy to see her, and even went to hug her until he remembered the terms they were on and he reserved himself. He didn’t even know if she wanted him to touch her. “I- sorry... hey, thanks. It’s good to be back.” He offered her a small smile. “How are you?” He asked, not that he really expected to get an answer from her but he did want to know.

KITTY

Kitty's lips press together sadly as she watches Sammy move in and then change his mind. This was awkward... They really should have done this over text message or the phone or something equally less confronting."its fine... and yeah, I bet." She says simply, her fingers idly combing through her hair. "Yup... i'm great." It was the answer that fell from her lips whenever she was forced to engage in small talk. Truthfully this week had somehow managed to be one of the best weeks of her life... while simultaneously sucking. "How's Dude?"

SAMMY

Sammy chewed on his lip and sat quietly in his chair, hearing Kitty make bullshit conversation. He only had one question on his mind and he couldn’t wait to get an answer. “Did you come here to break up with me?” He blurted out, maybe a little too loud. “Do you not love me anymore?” He asked a lot quieter and feeling extremely vulnerable like he didn’t want to hear the answer. He looked away from her, feeling himself become emotional as her took deep breaths.

KITTY

Her eyebrows furrow, and she's surprisingly not even concerned about who might be listening to their conversation. "I dont love you." It meant to come off as a question, but the way her heart was beating from her chest was making it difficult to breathe let alone fully understand what was happening right now and respond appropriately. She had been just waiting for it to be over with. "I don't want to break up with you." The words stumble only a little. "I mean, I thought about it... a lot. When we started dating I was basically homeless, I was this poor college student, and you were... well, you." She shrugs. "And I want to be successful, Sammy. Like not the sort of successful people settle for, the sort where Im on top. I dont want to always be questioned if I'm getting somewhere because I'm Samuel Hummel's girlfriend." She pauses, and steals Sammy's coffee, bringing it to her lips -- she needed caffeine way more than he did right now. "But aren't you here to end things anyway? So none of this even matters."

SAMMY

Sammy felt his heart drop to the floor but continued listening as she spoke, a mix of emotions running through him. He scoffed. “Kitty, I want you to be successful. I want you to be more than successful... and like you’ve said, I’m a C list actor. I’m nothing. You’re fucking awesome, you’ll come on top because you’re you...” he huffed and furrowed his brows as she took his cup from him. The sleeve falling apart from him picking at it. “End things? You’re the one who didn’t want to talk to me. ...I just want to fix things... I just want to understand why you won’t open up to me... I thought we were past this.”

KITTY

"You're B list." She admits. "And you're not nothing. Everyone loves you. But the world is biased." She shakes her head and slides back the tattered coffee cup to the brunette. "Theres always some old white man somewhere who believes a woman cant make it without a man." Aka her father. But sammy was right, everytime kitty thinks she's making progress opening up to Sammy, life intervenes and her first response is to push the man away. But she didnt really know how to put that into words. "How am I supposed to know when I can open up to you and when I cant? You're never here, Sammy. I get it, you have work or... whatever...but, while you've been off working I've been here."

SAMMY

As Kitty pushed back the cup to him, he took hold of her hand gently and nodded “You’re right. There will always be someone saying you can’t do it. You don’t think I’ve heard it a million times? I’m a joke to some people and while, yes it sucks, I still believe in what I do and so should you... Who fucking cares what the others think when you’re out there being successful and living your best life... I know you’re going to make it big someday.” He assured her and shook his head as he squeezed her hand. “Kitty, you can always talk to me, no matter where I am. I’m always going to be there to listen and support you. I don’t know where you get the idea that I won’t.” He sighed.

KITTY

Kitty doesnt move away when Sammys hand touches hers. In fact she could almost feel herself start to relax -- It was comforting, the sort of comfort she'd never been able to find with anyone else. "I don't care what everyone thinks." Not really a lie. "I care what my parents think." Kitty looks down at their hands, and sighs under her breath. "If I can't get them to believe I can make it on my own, how do I get the rest of the world?" Her gaze moves to meet Sammy, and she bites down on her lip softly as she listens to him talk. "I cant do that. I can't just call you up and talk to you about my feelings... I'm not that girl. I need you here." She takes a breath, and reminds herself that hes a celebrity and they're in public. "I'm sorry for telling you I didn't want to talk to you? But since when do you actually listen to me when I tell you to leave? Or stay away? So, i dont know, it seemed fair to assume you were done."

SAMMY

Sammy nodded, knowing what it was about now. “I know, babe. But you’ll show them. You’re going to make it big and then they’ll know, whether they accept it or not.” He brought her hand up to his lips and then caressed it against his face. “I know and it hasn’t been easy for me to be away either. I know it’s not the same as us being together and I’m sorry for being away for so long but it is something I can’t control, Kitty... that’s something we’ll have to work on and hopefully get better at. But once we’re in LA it shouldn’t be a problem....” he sighed and dropped their hands back down but still holding hers in his. “I wanted to to give you the space you asked for... I was going to call you and all but then you gave Dude back and I didn’t know what to think... I thought you were done with me, too.” He confessed.

KITTY

Kitty nods, she logically knows Sammy had no control over his filming schedule... She just missed her boyfriend. Besides, he'd done everything he could to be back as much as possible. "I know." There's a faint smile on her lips for the first time when he kisses her hand, and all she wants to do is lean over the table and actually kiss him. "I don't think I can do long distance anymore." She says honestly. "So if you could plan your next movie for when I'm in L.A that would be great." Kitty's tone is very matter of fact, because while she trusted Sammy -- shockingly -- it was too easy for her to push him away wen he wasn't here, for her to just assume he wasn't coming back. She shakes her head, "No...I'm not done with you."

SAMMY

Sammy felt a sigh of relief leave his lips and his body visibly relaxed at her words. They were out of the woods for now. “I have no upcoming movies, I got all my filming out of the way this month... any news on jobs out in LA for you?” He asked, hopeful for her. He moved over to the chair next to Kitty’s just wanting to be closer to her. He leaned against her and kissed her cheek. “Good, cause I’m not done with you either. We should go out tonight.” He suggested.

KITTY

Kitty actually found herself smiling when Sammy moved closer, an hour ago she was convinced her relationship was coming to an end, smiling didn't feel even close to doable. She shifts her hand to rest contently on his leg, "I actually got a job." Her smile widened, it was the first time she had said the words out loud... Or told anyone besides a professor at NYU. "I got the job... It's entry level obviously, and I think there's currently a 'kitty wilde destroyed my life club' because of it, but I had a meeting with TMZ on Valentine's Day -- I think they got sick of my daily emails with new and amazing reasons why they should hire me." She shrugged. "Anywhom... I pitched a few stories, and they didn't hate them, I guess. I found out on Monday I got a job... I wanted to tell you, but well... yeah. Just don't tell me that I'm an awful person. That's old news, and besides, I did what I needed to do." She turned to him and bit down on her lip as she realized she sort of just rambled on. "Yes, let's go out tonight." Kitty murmurs happily, not able to stop herself from looking at his lips. "Since we're not breaking up right now can I kiss you again?"

SAMMY

Sammy did a double take as she said the words. He was so happy for her. “What? You got the job?!” He asked ecstatically, a huge dopey grin reached his ears as he pulled her in for a tight hug, rocking her back and forth in her seat. He knew how much she wanted it and how hard she worked for it. “Holy shit, babe. That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.” He pulled away slightly but not before kissing her deeply. “You can kiss me as many times as you want.” He grinned. “So, when do you start?”

KITTY

Kitty hadn't expected that reaction from Sammy -- she honestly hadn't expected that reaction from anyone considering the circumstances. She grins and wraps her arms around him tightly, allowing herself to be genuinely super happy about everything for the first time since she got the news. "I got the job." She repeats and laughs a little, finally feeling her body relax as he embraced her. "Thanks, hot shot." She says with a soft smile before leaning into his lips -- beyond thankful she didn't have to give that up. "Good... The whole making out thing is most of the reason I have a boyfriend." She teases, before pulling away. "I start in a month... But I guess a week of that has already passed now... so three weeks?"

SAMMY

Sammy rolled his eyes at her comment but then raised his brow “So you’re moving to LA in less than a month? Girl, we have to look for places and areas, LA can be very sketchy.” He warned her.

KITTY

"I move to LA in less than a month..." She scrunches up her nose a little as she repeats the words, the girl hadn't really thought about how quick that sounded. "I sort of didn't think about the whole physical moving part to be honest. I was more worried about the job part. I haven't even started looking for places to live." She admits. "But I survived in my tiny shoe box apartment in a somewhat sketchy area in New York, I'm sure LA is going to be easy."

SAMMY

“Holy crap, Kitty. We need to look for places for you. I can help you. And I need to look for a place too, hopefully somewhere close to you...” he rambled as he pulled out his phone. “Well, yeah. But people are more homey here. LA is filled with mean people who don’t give a fuck about you.” He mentioned as he shot a text to his assistant.

KITTY

"Sammy..." She smiled, and rested her hand on his arm. "We have time... and you don't have to move." Granted after their last conversation it probably wouldn't be great for their relationship, but Kitty wasn't about to force anyone to move their life to a new state. "Breathe. Nothing has to be sorted right now... I just got my boyfriend back, and you're probably the only person on the planet right now who can share my excitement. So can we go and celebrate or something? ... Now that we're definitely not breaking up?" She added, needing to make sure with certainty she wasn't about to let her walls down again to be heartbroken like an hour later.

SAMMY

Sammy had set his mind a while back when Kitty has first mentioned LA and it was somewhere he definitely wanted to be with Kitty. It also just made sense for his career in general and his agent and assistant would be thrilled for him to be in the city. More opportunities for him to work on. “Oh, I’m moving. What if you find a hotter Netflix star?” He joked. “I’m definitely gonna be around.” He grinned and kissed her cheek. “Okay, yes. We will look at this later, I have to go home and check on Dude before we do anything tonight. You coming?”

KITTY

"True... LA is crawling with hot Netflix stars. And I might actually have a shot with Luke if you're not standing in the way like you were at the Christmas party." She muses teasingly and smiles bashfully at the kiss on her cheek. There was no doubt in her mind, she already had the hottest one. Kitty perked up at the mention of seeing Dude, she hadn't seen him in days and that felt like a really really long time to her. The two hadn't spent that long apart since Sammy and Kitty went to Florida. "Yes." She nods, trying not to show how enthusiastic she was about seeing the dog. "He's okay... Yeah?" She asks standing up from the chair. "Like, when you got him. He was ok?"

SAMMY

Sammy flares at Kitty. “That’s not funny, cause Luke actually asked me for your number a few days after that.” He bit his lip at the confession and looked away. “Anyway, yeah, he’s doing great. He was very excited to see me so I suppose that’s a good sign.” He smiled at Kitty as he stood with her. “Let’s go, okay? I’m sure Dude is going to be ecstatic to see you.”

KITTY

"Whoa whoa whoa." Kitty lowers her voice to try and jokingly resemble her boyfriend's. "Did you sabotage my chances with Luke? Again?" She feigns shock, looking up and scrunching her nose at Sammy. Not that she cared, it was Sammy she wanted... she just didn't want to admit that at the time. "That's good." She responds about Dude, feeling a pang of guilt when she thinks about him not being with either of them for a few days. The idea of ending a relationship with Sammy and losing Dude on the same day hurt way too much. She pushes open the door of the coffee shop, and feels the cold air brush her cheeks immediately. "I'm sorry I gave him back." She eventually gets the words to roll from her tongue, folding her arms in front of her chest. "How did you get here?"

SAMMY

Sammy looked away sheepishly as he bit his lips. “He wasn’t right for you.” Sammy mentioned as he made his way out the door with Kitty, searching for her hand and intertwining their fingers together. “It’s okay. We forgive you.” He smiled at the girl. “I walked. Needed to clear my head but it didn’t really work, I was really nervous about everything.” Sammy shrugged, bringing her hand back up to his lips. It was very comforting to him.

KITTY

"Worst. Wingman. Ever." She replies, sideeyeing Sammy. "Is this where you get really cheesy and tell me he couldn't have been right for me because you are?" Her fingers latch into his and the girl cant help the soft smile from dancing on her lips, thankful he wasnt holding it against her that she stopped looking after the dog -- God knows if the situation was reversed Kitty wouldn't be as forgiving. She wants to apologize and tell him it won't happen again, but she wasn't going to make a promise she couldn't keep. Because it didnt matter how many perfect words Sammy sang it was like Kitty was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. "There's no polar blast, so we can walk, I guess." She comments, squeezing his hand gently. "Still nervous?"

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head and brushed off her comment with a small laugh. He knew he wasn’t perfect for Kitty but he also knew Luke definitely wasn’t either. He pressed soft kisses to her hand and walked idly along with her down the sidewalk. He definitely felt relieved but he was always nervous about Kitty, he didn’t know if he’d ever not be. And sometimes, most times, it was a good kind of nervous as it had become now. Sammy shrugged a little and leaned his head on hers. “You always make me nervous.” He sighed with a small smile.

KITTY

"Because I'm so unpredictably wild?" She asks with a short laugh. "Kidding... I know you're being sappy." Kitty nudges his side playfully. The two were so different, and maybe on paper they shouldn't work, but the thought of not being with him scared the blonde more than anything had in some time -- the past week showed her that. "So where are we going tonight? Because as much as I love Sassy Nights, it reminds me of my lost dreams of becoming a stripper."

SAMMY

“Yeah, honestly. You are unpredictable, but I love that about you.” He responded with a small nod as he brought their hands back down, he ended up wrapping his arm around her shoulder instead. “Okay, where would you like to go? I’m down for any hole in the wall bar.” He smiled.

KITTY

"You do?" She furrows her brows, knowing there's a part of him that's probably lying about that -- like, surely no one wants to constantly be guessing if they're girlfriend is going to push them away today. Kitty snakes her arm around his waist and leans her head contently on his chest. "A hole in the wall sounds great... anywhere you can avoid paparazzi and girls trying to steal you away all dang night." She muses, biting down on her lip gently -- she would fight anyone for Sammy, but she had only just got him back. Her lips curl into a smile when they get to Sammy's apartment building, it had been weeks since shed been here but the familiarity of the place was comforting. Plus, dude was inside!

SAMMY

“I think so, yeah. Like don’t get me wrong you frustrate me sometimes but it keeps me on my toes and I like that... idk maybe that’s the actor in me liking the roller coaster of emotions.” He shrugged with a nervous chuckle “I’m sure there will be girls trying to steal me away at any bar.” He teased and shoved her playfully as they reached his apartment. He greeted the doorman and they made their way up to the apartment. Upon entering they were immediately greeted by the cheerful puppy. Sammy crouched down to pick him. “Hey little dude, excited to see someone.” He chuckled and handed him off to Kitty after a few licks from the pup.

KITTY

Kitty nods slowly as he talks. "You are a very emotional person." She comments with a teasing smile. "No girls are allowed to steal you away tonight." She says with a serious look, her eyebrows furrowed. "You're mine, they can go and find someone whose girlfriend isnt prepared to set a killer dog on them. Maybe we should go to a gay bar..." she pauses as she remembers Sammy would probably be more interested in that. "Actually, no." Kitty grinned the second they entered the apartment and Dude showed up. She bites her lip a little nervously watching the two and feeling kinda guilty for giving him back. Sammy and dude were like... family. "Hey..." she takes him into her arms, her nose scrunching as he licks it. "Sorry, buddy." She says softly to him. "But hey, your dad's home." She smiles and looks at Sammy. "Yeah I know, im totally the fun one."

SAMMY

“No one could steal me away from you even if they tried. I’m yours babygirl.” He smiled back at her. “Alright, we’ll find a place.” He nodded. He made his way further into the apartment and sat down on his couch, looking up at Kitty. “C’mere.” He said reaching out for her.

KITTY

Not that she'd admit it -- because petnames were super cheesy -- but it still made kitty's heart race whenever he called her that. She rolls her eyes playfully and with the pup still in her arms she moves to where Sammy is sitting, straddling his waist before letting Dude off onto the couch. "I missed you." She murmurs quietly as she looks down and picks off the little dog hairs from his shirt one by one. "Hey.. are you still going to think I'm a good person when I'm writing about people... like, that you know?"

SAMMY

Sammy waited for the puppy to jump off to wrap his arms around the girl. “I’ve missed you, too. So much.” He told her with soft smile as he pressed kisses to her head. “I mean you’re not writing lies... I don’t see how writing the truth would make you a bad person.” He replied honestly.

KITTY

The faint look of worry on her face changes with Sammy's words. Why couldn't everyone see it as he did? "You're awfully open minded for an actor who's sort-of-sexy face is all over our site." Our site -- it felt way more real now that Sammy knew. She looks up to meet his eyes before leaning in to kiss him, smiling against his lips as the taste off coffee still lingers. "Thank you though." She says quietly as she pulls away. "So I guess now I'm moving to LA in three weeks, we're not going to Mexico?" She asks, her fingers twirling into hair as she speaks.

SAMMY

Sammy shrugged. He had always been pretty open minded about most things. “Sort of sexy?” He raised a brow at her but melted into her kiss. “Mexico?” He asked, forgetting for a moment about what they had talked about. “Oh, right, sorry. My brain is all jumbled. We can still go to Mexico. It would be nice to take a little vacation just the two of us.” He smiled at the girl and squeezed his arms tightly around her.

KITTY

"You forgot?" Kitty shakes her head. "What is it you think about when you're away anyway? Because when Dude and I aren't having elaborate coffee dates, I'm thinking about you... On a beach...wearing very little clothing." She smirks, as she presses soft loving kisses along his jaw. "But I guess we can also do that in LA now come summer, so I'll forgive you for forgetting our incredibly briefly discussed vacation." To be fair their conversation had been a little about mexico and a lot about threesomes. "Is there anything I can do to help with the whole jumbled brain thing?" She asks genuinely. Normally that comment wouldn't get a second thought from Kitty, but it was Sammy, and Sammy seemed to always be an exception.

SAMMY

“Mostly scripts I have to learn and publicity shit.” He replied honestly. “And I think about missing you and being here with you...” he smiled at her and tilted his head as she pressed kisses to his skin. “I mean, we can still go. I can get things set up so we can go before LA, unless you want to wait until after we move in.” Sammy told her and looked down at her with a genuine smile. “It’s getting better. But I think I’m just tired from all the work I did this month. But thank you for offering.” He told her and kissed her cheek.

KITTY

"I'm not gonna have a whole lot of time when I get to LA... I'm not as charming as you, and it's really important to me to not to mess anything up, you know? I need this job to go well." She says with half a shrug. "We can go to Mexico, but it's not the end of the world if we dont, babe... It was a passing conversation." Kitty nods at his answer, "Do you want to take a nap or... something? I can take Dude to the park or go back to Louis' for a bit. And we can always just go out tomorrow night... give you time to relax or whatever it is B list celebs do when they finish filming movies."

SAMMY

“I totally get that.” He nodded and rubbed her back. “We will do whatever you want to do. I’m in no rush.” He responded. He pouted playfully because he was thinking of a nap but he didn’t want kitty to leave. “You know me. But I don’t want you to go. I want you to be my body pillow.” He said as he squeezed around her and buried his face in her neck. “You’re comfy.” He mumbled against her skin.

KITTY

"There's always after graduation." Between working and college, Kitty's not even sure how she'll have time to see Sammy let alone go out of the country -- though there are worse places to be confined to than L.A. She laughs a little at Sammy's pout, rolling her eyes. "Fiine" She grumbles jokingly, and pulls herself up from the boy's lap before extending him her hand to take. "I'll stay. C'mon.... Let's go take a nap, sleepy head."

SAMMY

Sammy grinned. “I love you so much.” He chuckled as he took her hand and followed her back to his bedroom. “Just like an hour nap then we can get ready to go out, promise.” He told her as he jumped into his bed.

KITTY

"Yeah yeah, I've heard that before." She laughs softly, watching as the puppy follows Sammy's lead in jumping onto the bed. "It's like having two of you home." She teases, following them both and crawling up next to the scruffy haired brunette. "I love you." Kitty strokes his cheek lightly before leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Just in case I haven't told you in a while." And she hadn't... Not since before she snapped at him. Dude curled up between their legs and Kitty let's her boyfriend's head rest on her chest. "I'm glad you're home." She says simply as her fingers stroke through his hair. "Now go to sleep so we can do something not boring."

SAMMY

Sammy yawned briefly before cuddling into Kitty’s side. “I’m glad I’m home, too.” He smiled and soon drifted to sleep, only to awake about 45 minutes later feeling a lot better and refreshed. He stretched himself out in bed and looked to his side to see if Kitty had stuck around.

KITTY

Kitty didnt have the 'sleep anywhere' skill Sammy had -- she sort of envied the way he was able to just fall asleep at any time. She had put on the television, quietly watching it with Dude as her boyfriends head rested on her. "Hey. Welcome back." She joked when she realized he was awake. "Feel any better?"

SAMMY

Sammy smiled up at Kitty with squinting eyes and nodded as he continued to stretch. “Mhmm. Lot better.” He murmured and went up to kiss Kitty on the cheek. He sat up and pet Dude before turning back to look at Kitty again. “Imma go ahead and take a shower. Do you want to join?” He asked with a raised brow.

KITTY

"Good idea... you smell like... a boy." Kitty scrunches her nose teasingly before nodding, "I should probably check the water pressure." She replies with a half smile. "Since you know, its been a while since I've been here." The girl gets up from the bed, stretching slightly as though she had just been asleep -- it was kind of exhausting doing nothing. "Come on, hot shot. Before you decide you need to sleep again."

SAMMY

Sammy laughed and and got off the bed, following her to the bathroom. His arms wrapped around her waist from behind as he kissed her shoulder. “I’ve miss you so so much.” He gave her a tight hug before he pulled away to remove his shirt and pants. Then he walked over to turn the water on, making sure it was at the right temperature before turning back to Kitty. “Ladies first.” He grinned

KITTY

"Oh my gosh." She laughs at the arms suddenly embracing her tightly from behind. "I missed you too, weirdo." Kitty turns to him as he pulls away, her smile widening a little when his clothes come off -- she couldn't help it. "You're still a little good looking I see." She smirks and takes her own clothes off, not really caring about them falling to the ground messily. "That's very gentlemanly of you... also very 1950s." She steps into the warm water, and holds out her hand for Sammy and pulls him in with her. "Much better."

SAMMY

Sammy winked at her and joined her under the water. He lets the hot water collide against his back for a moment, letting out a soft groan of pleasure before he pulls Kitty under the stream with him. “How’s the water pressure?” He asked

KITTY

Kitty presses her lips together and hums softly at the question, letting the water wet her hair and warm the rest of her body. "I give it an eight out of ten." She says with a simple nod, letting her hands glide gently down Sammy's side idly as she talked. "The company is... slightly above average."

SAMMY

“Slightly above average, huh?” He raised a brow. “And what could said company do to make it better?” He asked with a bite to his lip as he admires the girl’s body, glistening under the water.

KITTY

Kitty shrugs. "The company should come closer." She muses, her fingers lingering on his abs as she lifts her eyes to meet his. "And then the company should probably stop talking and start kissing me... sort of like kissing in the rain, but we're less likely to catch pneumonia which makes it way more romantic."

SAMMY

Sammy bit his lip as she spoke. His hands wandered to her waist and pulled her in close, her front touching his. He leaned down, his lips ghosted over hers and he nipped at them gently before he kissed her deeply.

KITTY

Her eyes followed Sammy's movements, and she couldn't stop her heart from speeding up when his body became flush with hers. Her arms reach up to wrap around his shoulders, her fingers twirl into the back of his wet hair, and she happily let's herself melt in the feeling of his lips meeting hers. This was everything she didnt expect when she got out of bed this morning sure they were about to break up. Lost in the kiss, Kitty loses her balance for a second, stumbling on her own feet and falling back into the wall of the shower, pulling Sammy with her. "Sorry." She murmurs against him, a half smirk lighting her lips. "But I'm pleased to report the company has improved their score." She chews on her bottom lip and untangles her body from her boyfriend, pushing him back into the water stream playfully. "You're meant to be cleaning yourself." She says, grabbing the body wash and throwing it at him. "You should really stop getting so distracted, babe."

SAMMY

Sammy yelped a bit and caught himself with one hand against the wall, laughing over the short girl. “It’s okay. You’re cute, so you get a pass.” He grins and raises a brow. “Ah, really? What’s the score now?” He asked as he was pushed back into the water. He caught the bottle and nodded. “Alright, Alright.” He said pouring some on his hand and handing it back to her. “Get my back?” He asked as he turned away from her and soaped himself down.

KTTY

"Company gets an eight out of ten." Anything higher would give the male way too much of an ego. She laughs softly and takes the bottle back from Sammy. "How did you even survive without me in LA for a month?" Kitty teases, pouring a small amount on her hands and rubbing her hands down his -- surprisingly toned -- back. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you go to the gym and yet... You look like this." She shakes her head and uses the remaining soap on her own body, though she had showered earlier that day. "It's a miracle."

SAMMY

“Only an eight?” He questioned and laughed. “It was hard, had to get one of those scrubby things on a stick.” He grinned . Sammy actually went to the gym all the time, he enjoyed being active just as much as he liked settling down. “I go regularly, actually. Have a trainer and everything. This body is far from a miracle.” He chuckled softly as he finished washing his body.

KITTY

"What a hassle." She chuckled slightly, rinsing the soap from her hands and her body. Kitty raised her eyebrows, "You do?" She looked up at Sammy curiously, and leaned her side against the wall. "I mean... of course you do." He was an actor, he'd be stupid not to. But sometimes it became super obvious to her how little time they've actually spent together since getting into a relationship. "Is your trainer hot?"

SAMMY

“Exactly.” He agreed with a smile, “Yeah, at least a few times a week.” He shrugged and turned to look at Kitty. He rinsed off and got closer to the girl. “Eh, I mean I guess.” He answered, not really finding his trainer attractive but wanting to be nice about it.

KITTY

"It's like I know nothing about you." She muses only half joking, her lips pressing together a little. "What other totally boring secrets are you keeping from me?" Kitty asks with a faint smile, her hand gliding over his chest as she moves past him and out of the shower. "You guess? So you dont know if they're hot... or you dont know if you want to tell me if they're hot?" She asks, avoiding eye contact as she reaches for a towel -- trying so hard not to sound like a jealous girlfriend.

SAMMY

“You know I’ll tell you anything you want to know. This just never came up.” He leans in to peck her lips before she escapes from him. “Secrets? You know all my secrets.” He muttered. He shook his head. “No, I mean he’s hot, conventionally. But I don’t really find him attractive.” He shrugged. “He’s also like 15 years older than me.” He chuckled.

KITTY

"Please, you have no secrets." Kitty rolls her eyes, and uses the towel to dry herself before wrapping it around her and hooking it under her arms. "You're like... the most squeaky clean person I've ever met." She folds her arms in front of her and leans lazily against the wall, her wet hair still dripping down her back. "In fact it would almost make sense for you to be harboring a massive secret crush on your maybe-hot, mysterious, older personal trainer." She looks up at the tall brunette with a faint smile.

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled softly and shrugged at her words as he exited the shower after her, turning the water off. He walks up to her and presses her up against the wall with a raised brow. “Are you jealous?” He asked and leaned into kiss her temple. “You’re the only one I’m interested in. As cheesy as that sounds. I don’t want anyone else...”

KITTY

Kitty huffs quietly, "I don't get jealous." She lies, her eyes lifting to his lips pressing against her head. "Okay. Fine... maybe a little. Dont make a thing of it." She pouts a little and reaches for his waist, ignoring the fact hes just wetting her towel more and pulls him closer. "It's cheesy... and I still want to see shirtless pics of this personal trainer of yours. I need to see all competition."

SAMMY

Sammy tilts his head and raises his brows again. “Oh, really?” He chuckled as she admitted her jealousy “You’re fucking cute.” He grinned into her hair. “I’m not sure I have any shirtless pics of him but I’ll link you to his Instagram.” He compromised with her. “Maybe you can come train with us sometime.” He smiled at her.

KITTY

Kitty scrunches her nose, "I think I'll just stalk his insta. I don't really do gyms... There's only so long I can watch ego-driven men stand in front of a mirror flexing and being all like, 'do you even lift?'" She lowers her voice to try and imitate a dude's, shaking her head. "I'll stick to kick boxing and yoga." She leans in and kisses his chest softly before pushing him off her with one hand and passing him a towel. "Besides, I don't wanna invade your secret life." She teases.

SAMMY

Sammy threw his head back in laughter at her impression. “Seriously the cutest... we should do yoga sometime. Like couples yoga.” He mentioned as he took the towel from her, drying himself off. “Psh, you’re my girl. You get to know everything.” He smiled genuinely at her as he nodded towards the room where he was heading to. He looked through his closet, pulling on some boxers as he decided what to wear. “How casual are we going?”

KITTY

Kitty hushed him, "Not cute, thankyouverymuch." She raised a brow at his mention of doing yoga together. Kitty had started yoga at the beginning of college -- something her roommate of two minutes suggested to help her "chill", the blonde went to prove a point and as much as she wanted to hate it, she just never stopped. "You... Samuel Hummel -- the sleepiest boy in the world -- wants to go to yoga?" She chuckles, and takes a seat on his bed. "Well, I have like, four, changes of clothes here so... We can go super casual, I'm talking sweatpants and a hoodie, which I think belongs to you anyway. We can do normal casual, or we can do slightly above casual." She lists off. "Or sexy and slutty. But that's probably more of a for-your-eyes-only outfit."

SAMMY

Sammy turned back to give her a quick kiss before returning to his closet to pull out some skinny joggers and a slightly oversized hoodie. “Normal casual? Sound good to you?” He asked the girl as he turned back to her and began pulling his pants on. “Although, sexy and slutty sounds tempting.” He teased.

KITTY

Kitty nods. "Normal casual works." She finally gets up from the bed and moves over to the bag of clothes, grazing the back of Sammy's jeans lightly with her fingers as she walks past. The bag is more like a heaped pile of her random belongings at this point -- and one of Dude's toy which the pup has deemed to now belong to her. She sort of just moves things around until she puts her hands on a skirt and a sweater, shrugging to herself that it would do. "The sexy and slutty isn't totally off the table." She winks as the towel drops to the ground and she starts to get herself changed.

SAMMY

Sammy grinned at her touch and watched as she leaned over to dig through her bag. He tossed his hoodie on and sat at the edge of the bed. “Unfortunately I don’t have a pair of booty shorts that go with this hoodie. He teased with a chuckle. “You know... I can clear up a drawer for you to put your stuff in while you’re here if you want... just so you don’t have to have it all in the bag.” He offered

KITTY

"That's so disappointing." She jokes, turning to face Sammy with a smirk. "It's okay." Kitty shrugs at the suggestion of the draw. "I'm sort of a pro at living out of bags at this point, and even if I wasn't I'm moving soon so it's not like i'll spend a lot of time here." She smiled thankfully at him. "That's just creating way more work for yourself." She slides the sweater in over her head and flicks her hair so it's sitting on the outside. "Besides, where is Dude going to take all the toys he wants to give me when I'm not around if this bag is gone?" She leans over picking up a small soft toy and throwing it at Sammy. "I just need to dry my hair, and make myself even hotter than I already am." Kitty muses, kissing Sammy's cheek quickly as she moved past him and into the bathroom.

SAMMY

Sammy shrugged. “I don’t mind the work.” He told her. Even if she said no, he still planned on clearing some space for her, for the short time being. He chuckled at the girl as he dodges the toy. “That’s impossible. You’re the hottest already.” He grinned .

KITTY

later that night

Kitty stumbled back into Sammy’s apartment, reaching out to grab his shoulder to steady herself as she took off her shoes. Finally. “I’m hungry. “ She mumbled, not really thinking about what she was saying. Somewhere between the wine and tequila, Kitty had lost track of her words. The alcohol not only warmed her body enough to forget about the fact that it was freezing outside and she probably didn’t have enough clothes on, but also helped her forget about the paparazzi and fans wanting to climb up on her boyfriend. She had clung to the tall brunette all night, not caring who was around to see and paying zero attention to anyone else trying to steal away Sammy. “Duuuudeee.” She calls out to the puppy, grinning when he emerged from the bedroom. “Hey!” She picks up the growing pup into her arms and pats his head before looking back up at Sammy. “I feel bad we left him and brought him nothing back... You should see if they uber dog treats. Or puppy wine.”

SAMMY

Sammy stumbled in behind her with a smile. “I’ll order the ‘Za!” He yelled across the room as he booked it to the kitchen to look for the number of the 24hour pizza place. He peeked out of the kitchen and chuckled “I think that’s possible?” He asked confused, disappearing back into the kitchen and emerging with the paper with the phone number, his phone in the other hand, dialing.

KITTY

"You know there are apps for that, right?" Kitty smirks, letting Dude down from her arms and tugging at her boyfriend's shirt so he would follow her to the living room. "You know, I kinda like New York." She muses, sitting down on the couch and folding her legs off to the side of her. "Because it's where I met you." Kitty reaches out for Sammy to sit next to her, not bothered by how cliche the words that just came out of her mouth were. "My life would sort of suck without you." She furrowed her eyebrows for a second. "Well that's not entirely true, but, like, it wouldn't be the same. And I wouldn't be getting pizza soon. Which is a massive bonus." She laughs happily, pressing kiss to Sammy's cheek.

SAMMY

“Uh, yeah but this is the best pizza.” He replied as he followed her to the couch, still on the phone. He waited for them to answer and smiled at the girl making the gushy comments. “I love you.” He whispered before the person on the other line answered. “Uh, yeah, can I get a..... meat lovers with extra cheese... large. And umm... cheese sticks with marinara. Ooh also you guys have spaghetti? Mhm. Yeah an order of that...” he proceeded and gave them the address. After hanging up he turned his attention back to Kitty and rushed his lips to the exposed skin on her neck. “Pizza will be here in 25 minutes.” He whispered.

KITTY

"You got spaghetti? Who orders spaghetti with pizza, you weirdo." Kitty chuckles, grinning at the feeling of electricity spreading around the spot on her neck with the impact of his lips. "I love you so much." She murmurs and turns her body slightly to face Sammy on the couch. "Thank you for coming out tonight." Her fingers trace shapes idly on his thighs, and she can't stop herself from smiling tonight. "But we should just stay here for the rest of our lives... in this apartment. We're cooler than everyone else anyway."

SAMMY

Sammy frowned. “I like spaghetti.” He pecked her lips and smiled again. He pulled her closer, bringing her on his lap. “Thank you for being awesome.” He chuckled. “We should move in together, in LA. It would be so cool. I would get to see you every single day... I would love that.” He sighed and leaned in for another kiss.

KITTY

"Like... living together together." Kitty says the words out loud, nodding as she thought it through for all of about a second. She wraps her arms around his shoulders. "Are you serious?" She asks, a smile lighting her lips. "Because I'll totally live with you. It means I get to see you everyday, and I reeally like seeing you. Like... everything is better when I see you. So." She shrugs. "We should live together."

SAMMY

“Together, together.” He nodded “it’ll be you and me and Dude and we can even get an apartment with two rooms so Marley can come visit or whoever... it’ll be so great.” He mused with a big cheesy smile. Just the thought of living with the woman he loved made him so happy. “I wanna be with you forever and ever.”

KITTY

"It has to have two rooms." She says adamantly. "Because I love you, like... more than I love coffee, and pizza, and tmz, and trashy reality television combined. But I like Marley more." She teases, rubbing her nose lightly against his. "And I can't be anywhere without a bed for her." Kitty grins at his next words -- it was probably the alcohol (it was definitely the alcohol), but right now planning forever with this man didn't seem like the scariest thing in the world. In fact not spending forever with him scared her a lot more. "Forever's a really long time, babe. You don't think you'll get bored?"

SAMMY

Sammy nodded along with what Kitty said “Of course.” He agreed with her. And he didn’t mind it one bit. He loved that Kitty had someone who was there for her besides himself. He almost envied their friendship but in the best way. He leaned into her and kisses her again. “Me? Get bored of you? I could never ever ever. You’re everything.”

KITTY

Kitty leans into his kiss like it was the easiest thing her lips have ever done, not able to stop herself from giggling softly against them. All she wanted to do was be close to Sammy right now, she wanted to kiss him and be in his arms and never leave. Maybe it was too soon to move in, and maybe in the morning she'd get cold feet, but right now she was being honest with herself. And honestly? There wasn't a night she went to bed and didn't wish he and Dude were with her. "You're perfect." She whispers, her fingers twirling into his perfectly messy hair. "And sexy, and smart, and sweet, and stupidly funny." She smiles, blissfully happy. "And we can spend forever together making everyone insanely jealous of us." She purses her lips together, suddenly remembering her non existent domestic skills. "But I can't cook, babe."

SAMMY

Sammy blushed at her comments. It was rare when Kitty complimented him like that and it was nice. He liked it a lot more than he’d care to admit. He leaned his head against hers bashfully, hiding the redness in his cheeks. “You’re too good to me.” He told her and pressed his lips to her neck once again. “Forever.” he repeated and nodded “that’s okay. We can order pizza and eat cereal and sandwiches and drink coffee.” He assures her.

KITTY

Kitty laughs, "I'm really not, baby." Even drunk, she knew Sammy probably deserved someone who was a lot more... like him. Everything about them was her opposite, down to and including the way they communicated. "But I'm adorable so it makes up for it." She says grinning and leaning in to press small kisses along his jaw line and down the crook of his neck. "Good. Because you're mine." She murmurs against his skin with a smile. "I'm keeping you. And I'll fight alllll the bitches." She jokes (kinda) as she pulls away from him. "Foooood." The blonde grumbles, remembering at the topic of food that once upon a time a million years ago they ordered pizza. "I'm hungry... And I want to fuck you. But super hungry."

SAMMY

“You are even if you won’t admit it.” He nuzzled into her face. “All of them?” He asked with a chuckle. He was about to answer her about the food when he heard the knock at his door. “It’s here!!!” He yelled out and pushed Kitty down on the couch, hovering over her briefly and pressing a kiss to her lips before getting up and pulling his wallet out of his pocket, stumbling just a tad as he reached the door. He paid the man at the door, leaving him a big tip and returned to kitty, balancing the boxes in his arms. He placed everything down on the coffee table and smiled at the girl. “Let’s feast.”

KITTY

Kitty mouth opened excitedly when she heard the knock on the door, "Finally!" She grins, a small shriek leaving her lips as she's pushed back onto the couch. "Don't be long." She breathes against his lips before Sammy disappears to get the food. She finds herself looking up at the ceiling for a moment, listening with a smile to the small polite conversation Sammy was having with the delivery man. He was so nice. Too nice. How did someone so nice end up with her? "You're my knight with shining pizza." Kitty muses, sitting up and watching the world wobble for a second as she did. The food smelt amazing and God, she needed it so badly -- all her stomach could feel right now were the tequila shots she'd taken before deciding to come home. "Is pizza good for dogs?" She asks, opening up the box and pulling out a slice of pizza, glancing over at their puppy.

SAMMY

Sammy tilted his head to the side in thought about the pizza and looked over at the dog. “I think it might upset his tummy if we give him pizza.” Sammy said as he took a bite of the slice with a moan. He then put the slice down moving on to the container with the spaghetti and grabbed the plastic fork digging in.

KITTY

Kitty pouts and mouths to Dude that she's sorry. "We're bad dog parents... and not just because we called him dude." She slides down off the couch and onto the floor -- not entirely intentionally, but at least this way she was closer to the food. "Do you remember when we first got pizza? After you lured me into your apartment with the promise of a blanket fort." She laughs at the memory of the sad stack pile of pillows on the floor. "Also our first time." She leans her head back against the couch and looks to Sammy with a loving smile. "You have no idea how much I love you... also you have sauce on your face."

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head “Youre a better dog mom than me.” He pouted. “We should give dude a middle name.” He watches the girl slide down the couch on to the floor with a smile and nods. “It was the best I could do. I think it was pretty good.” He said confidently with a cheesy grin. Sammy leans down and kisses the girl and then rubs his face on hers, smearing the sauce on her face too. “I love you more. Now you have sauce on your face.”

KITTY

"Well obviously. You're a dog dad." She teases, raising an eyebrow at Sammy. "We should totally give him a middle name!" Kitty says probably over-enthusiastically. "It has to be something strong. Just incase he becomes doggy president or something and we need the other dogs to take him seriously." The girl was slightly over protective of Dude, but she really never imagined shed love a dog so damm much. "Oh my God." She laughs loudly, scrunching her nose and pulling on Sammy's shirt to pull him back down to her lips. "You're very annoying." She chuckles, leaning up to nibble on his lower lip lightly.

#para: sammy #para: like me better #sammy #//again i'm the worst and was meant to post this 5eva ago

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gracelandmp3 · 7 years ago

Note

if you're still looking for asks - who is/are your dnd character(s)?

BOY HOWDY DO I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT MY OCS also i dont think ive ever fully written them all out like this before i really have,,,,, lots huh

ok so my main bitch, who ive had for like ,,,, damn this frog game @torpidglory is running has been going for almost a year now thats wild - anyways her name is hadassa silverstone & shes a black dragonborn uhh,,,, failed revolutionary & priestess of the raven queen? mechanically shes a level 5 grave domain cleric w a criminal background and a Lot of issues - im kind of overhauling her right now in terms of like personality / rp stuff bc i know a lot about her backstory but i never really decided what kind of person she is? shes ,, the reluctant mom friend & she believes in fate and i think she tries to believe that most people have good in them & she should try to find it, but that kind of goes against her instincts (she grew up on and off the streets & was adjacent to the thieves guild, her dead twin brother was a member) so its something shes working on. she was a casual worshipper of the raven queen for most of her life and i think originally joined the temple as cover / to give her comrades access to a safehouse? but then over time she developed a really deep connection to the raven queen & now since the first thing she remembers after her whole backstory Nonsense which i dont have time to get into here went down is waking up in the temple, she really believes that her goddess has a plan for her & brought her back to life to achieve that. (sorry i think about hadassa a lot shes probably my favorite oc and i would die for her shes got a whole playlist which is a wip but like.. so u know how serious i am)

then just continuing in order of when the games started we got ifrit kheferu, a tiefling sorcerer whos part of this dragon religion we made up?? narratively hes a favored soul but mechanically his sorcerous origin is phoenix bc i wanted to play an immolator but dnd doesnt super have that build so i improvised - anyways hes got a god complex & thinks hes a prophet & the dragons speak to him and also hes a pretentious nightmare twink..... hes heavily inspired by ephrim friendsatthetable and somebody else who i cant remember, hes only level 1 and we havent played this game in a Minute bc its a rotating dm west marches thing & i think im running the next oneshot (his full list of titles is the Reverend Ifrit Kheferu, Flame-touched, Lightbringer, Lesser Dauphin of the Coruscat of Thalia - formerly of the Marid, Third Flagship of clan Ifrit)

then we got Val, my bouncer paladin from the dungeon world game that my friend james is running - theyre a temple guard at the temple of the Lady, which we created during world gen as like.... a sanctuary for vice and stuff like that?? (weird things happen during the quiet year its a fun game lads) anyways the Lady is the goddess of thieves, luck, & protector of all those who use the roads so within the walls of the temple compound is kind of a combination hostel, casino, brothel, and marketplace? like generally the vibe of the Lady is that thing of where a bartender ends up being ur therapist, except that theyre a priest - so val is a bouncer, pretty much, but w a divine connection. theyre legally required to scam people in order to keep their quest boons.

last but not least, brand new and untested, is ismene assam, tiefling swashbuckler rogue & first mate of the pirate ship la salope. she hates furbies, loves deals, and was gonna be my only non spellcasting character but, well, tieflings - her spells that she gets from her infernal legacy are like friends & charm person & stuff so i think she doesnt think of them as magic, just like,,, force of personality - i rolled on some tables from xanathars guide for backstory stuff and i think she was born in the city of dis and then moved around a lot growing up - one of her parents is a devil and she has some connection to nobility maybe?? i think she scammed her way into a court somewhere & ran off after getting engaged or married to a princeling im not entirely sure - again, untested. she cheats at cards, cant resist a bet, thinks she’s more or less unconnable, and shes gonna be EXTREMELY fun to play. her original concept was a gunslinger who’s just zoe from firefly but a tiefling, so theres still a bit of that in her? but shes changed a LOT since then

anyways i have a Problem and i play way too many divine classes

#i dont have a dnd tag huh #anon #q&a

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anarchy-in-the-pre-k · 4 years ago

Text

absolutely pissed at a few friends i know dont go on tumblr.

dont know anyone to talk to bc im down to two friends in my life so unless i want to lose them too then i guess i just have to scream into the void of anonymous blogging. ive had an crazy pathological FOMO for almost as long as i can remember. ive felt like an old old man since i was 15. all i can think about every day of my goddamn life is the passing of time and how my youth has been wasted in circumstances/a time and place where theres no cool counterculture/art for art’s sake/anything meaningful and social. im 20 now and ive been feeling like my best years are behind me for years. college is a nightmare. ive lost every friend ive had except for two and im not even entirely sure why. nobody wants to do anything. there are old friends in town, im always surrounded by old friends, but none of them leave the house. i dont want to live in a world where the only people in my life are friends from high school who blow me off every night for their millionth round of league of legends and my genuinely insane alcoholic dad who just goes on crazy rants that make me want to kill hiim and then myself. this is a crazy way to live. i cant move out. even if i could, id be miserable having a landlord/being a wage slave again. my god, all i want is the barest amount of social interaction that doesnt make me want to die. i cant believe ive never been to a crazy party, that almost all the friends ive ever had never wanted to do anything but sit around and play video games.

but onto what’s bothering me today. met up with the two friends i have left. known them for a while but we didnt use to be as close. they’re the closest to “interesting” or countercultural/artistic friends ive ever had, but they see all of that as mostly behind them. im incredibly resentful of not being “let in” on some of the more crazy times they had when we were growing up, but i can usually manage those feelings. today, they were just reminiscing about this secret spot in the woods they used to have wild parties at during high school. the way they described it made it seem like every stupid youthful experience that i’ve ever wanted. huge gatherings getting broken up by cops, a small pond for diving in from a gigantic vandalized cliff. glow sticks tied in trees for when it gets dark. ive known about this place forever, and ive always asked everyone to show it to me. i asked for years and years and years and nobody took the fucking 2 hours out of their lives to satisfy my curiosity. now i just have to sit there and listen to them talk about it like its the greatest thing that ever happened to them, so many life-changing experiences. so many true and completely authentic celebrations of being young and irresponsible. everything i always wanted, i begged them over and over to show me when we were all younger and they never found the time. now, they just talk about it, and i sit there, visually super uncomfortable, i tell them im annoyed that they never got around to taking me there- they dont take criticism well at all. they try to be polite, but they just want me to quit complaining. after the most hyperbolic shit you can imagine coming out of their mouths about this glorious place that shaped their young lives, i immediately hear a “oh, you wouldnt have liked it anyway, logan” just to shut me up. i didnt say anything to them for the rest of the day.

I know how crazy I sound, I dont care. I know there’s something wrong with me in the way i glorify those kinds of memories, how badly i want times like that to come back, but they know that about me too, and it was almost as if that whole conversation was designed specifically to torture me. it was like they took my deep-rooted, extremely sensitive pathological FOMO and said absolutely every combination of words that would set it off. i felt like some kind of incredibly cruel joke was being played on me at certain points. they went on for like 20 minutes. i think im really getting sick of this friend group, but if idecide to take a break from them, then ill be down to 0 friends. 0 friends and my only human interaction will be with my insane, narcissistic, racist, violent dad, who’s just looking for an excuse to kick me out of the house anyway.

I hate the kind of person i am now. I hate having this much hate in me. I know that absolutely nothing in this environment is doing any favors for me mentally, but i cant think of anything else to do. I say that now, even as I type it, I dont feel any better. there is nothing cathartic about this. I can say it over and over again “I dont know what to do now” but that doesnt change the fact that when im done making this post, i will have to keep living this. i have no power to change my life. there are no new friends to be had. i dont know how to meet women beyond dating apps, and staying on them makes me miserable. i have no other relatives to complain about my dad to. i have no other friends i can complain about these two to. all i do is list my problems in my head with nothing productive to be done even after identifying my problems. I know that so much of it is “just me”, but my environment is forcing all the worst parts of me to come out over and over. im horribly, incredibly lonely, but i hate everyone i come to interact with. i dont know if theres any hope for it to ever be otherwise for me. i thought i would use isolation, especially during quarantine, to make some money and prove my worth to myself as an artist. ive had my stories published bought by a few magazines now and i still feel horribly empty. i feel too world weary to even imagine myself having a positive relationship/friendship with anyone ever again. im just so tired of every single person that i meet. im tired of everyone, and the most amount of pleasure afforded to me is sitcom reruns and fast food. the safest, most conformist material pleasures that there are. i hate my own melodrama, i hate that i care this much about small thinngs, i hate that theres something so deeply wrong with my psyche that im this crazed by the mention of a punk hangout spot that nobody ever showed me when i was younger, but i am going to live the rest of my life resenting that everyone around me only wanted to game, and nobody ever wanted to go to the shady/weird spots of the woods with me. how can i have missed my chance to childishly self indulgence, only to come out a whining adolescent still? how can i still be such a kid while missing what it felt like to be a kid? i dont know. ive always felt this way, but its only been especially bad for the last 3ish years. if it keeps going like this i dont know what ill do. again, no catharsis. again, there is nothing healing about my writing this. life sucks at every moment and then, somehow, i decide to keep living. im going to build a ted shed soon i think

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happys-crazy-queen22 · 7 years ago

Text

Do I - Happy Lowman

Song Do I By Luke Bryan.

Happy Reading Dollies!!

Baby what are we becoming It feels just like we're always running Rolling through the motions everyday I could lean in to hold you, or act like I don't even know you Seems like you could care less either way What happened to that girl I used to know I just want us back to the way we were before

Stretching your arm to cuddle with your Old Man, his side of the bed was cold. Has been for a while. You huffed as you got up. You barely saw Happy. He was always with the club, you would plane a nice dinner or try to be sexy he would always say the club needs me. You were getting frustrated. Grabbing your phone you texted him. "Hey Babe, wish you were here right now". "Could go for some morning sex"😈😈. "I love you, have a great day, be safe". ❤❤😘😘😍 You went to the bathroom, brushing your teeth waiting for his response. Nothing. Getting dressed you were really feeling sad and angry. What was he up to, did you send it correctly. You looked at your phone. Everything was right,except your relationship. You sat on the bed, thinking back to when you first started dating Happy. He said he wasnt good with relationship but hes the one that made it official that your his and only his. He was a tough guy when with his brother but with you he was a big sweet heart, you could get enough of him. Sex was out of this world, mind blowing. You would have sex four to six times a day but now its maybe two times a month. You wiped away a tear. Something was different about him.

Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy Do I have your love, am I still enough Tell me don't I, or tell me do I, baby Give you everything that you ever wanted Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely Do I just need to give up and get on with my life Baby, do I

Driving to TM, you decided to talk to him about not being there for you. Pulling up you saw him talking to a crow eater. Angry came over you. Storming over to him, you grabbed the croweaters hair. Her hands went to yours, trying to get free. "OW OW bitch, your fucking hurting me". "Then you should stay away from whats mine". You threw her to the ground. "You ever look at him again, I will torch your ass". "He's the one that started talking to me". "Ask him". Happy groaned and rolled his eyes. "Leave her alone Y/N". Standing the dumbfounded. "Your really taking her side than mine". "Get out of here". Happy yelled to the croweater. "Happy what has gotten into you, or its more like who have you gotten into cause it aint me". Happy kept quite. "Your not going to talk to me fine". "I'll do it". "Happy you've changed since we got together, people do but your going over the line". "You're never home and when you are, you dont speak to me or even acknowledge that I'm there". "I'm lonely Happy, your here with your firends, I have no body".

Remember when we didn't have nothing But a perfect simple kind of loving Baby those sure were the days There was a time our love ran wild and free Now I'm second guessing everything thing I see

"I didnt ask you to just get up and move with me". Happy finally spoke. "The hell you didnt, your exact word were". "Please come with me, I love you and I dont want to lose you". Tears falling as you yelled at him. "That didnt mean you had to". "If I didnt I would have lost you but it seems that I already have". "I wasted three years of my life with you if you dont feel that same way as me". "I love you, I want this to work but.." You were at loose of words. "I loved you too Y/N". "I grew up, I got more involved in the club, you just took a back burner". "You mean you found free pussy that you didnt have to come home to and talk". "You could just bang and look the other way". "I'm sorry I have feelings for you". "I'm sorry too". "You want this white picket fence, with a nice house and kids". "I dont". "I want our old life back, when we could get on the bike and ride until we were happy where we were". "You loved riding, partying and having a good time with friends". "Lately you've been a stuck up little bitch". "Not wanting to come here and be around everyone, just having a good time". "You just sit at home, fucking whine about us, that we dont do anything, I dont take you out or you get mad at me for saying lets do something". "I'm sick of this shit". He yelled, taking a breathe to calm his anger. Biting your lip, closing your eyes trying not to sob in front of him. "I'm sorry your unhappy with me".

"I just want us to be carefree again". Happy couldnt think of anything else to say. "I'm my happiest when I'm with you'. "But it seems that your not with me". You started to walk off. "Y/N". Happy yelled running to you. Turning around you looked at him with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. "What"? "Do you love me"? "Thats a stupid question". "Just answer it Little Girl". "Yes Happy I'm in love with you". "That all I wanted to know". "So what are we". You asked. "We are still together, I want this to work, I love you and I cant see my self with anyone else". "Happy you just said that you didnt want this shit any more". "I had a change of heart, people do that". "I'm willing to change alittle". "I'll spend more time at home, in the bed room pleasing you even if it kills me". He laughed. You grinned. "Okay". "I'll change to, we can go out and come here to party". "Go see a movie or just a nice dinner at the house". "I promise not to be a stuck up bitch anymore". "See we are working together for us to be together". He said hugging you. "Hap theres one thing I wont change". "What is it"? He looked at you. "I want kids". "I dont have to have the picket fence or a nice house". "But I want kids with you". "Ever since I saw you at your mommas house I thought you would be a good father, the way you love her deeply and take care of her". "I want that, I want kids to run around, your mother would love that even more then I do and we would be pretty cool parents". Smiling up at him wait for his reaction. "We will see where the rode takes us okay". "If it happens then it happens". "We arent rushing things or trying to provent them from happening". He smiled while kissed you.

Still give you what you need Still take your breath away Light up the spark way down deep, baby do I

Happy kissed you deeply, your tongues danced together while standing standing in the middle of the drive way. "I see your back together". The croweater came over. "Yeah we are so dont try getting with him ever". "I wont, I'm not that type of girl". "You two should be together". "Take care Happy". "Miss". The croweater walked off. "Did you sleep with her or any other croweater, porn star etc"? "No, I just came here an drank or worked until we had something to do". "I never cheated on you, not once". "I know back there I didnt say anything cause I knew you wouldnr believe me". "I believe you Hap, just dont talk to another croweater Clear". "Crystal" "I love you". "I love you too". You grabbed the back of his head, pulled him in for a kiss.

Whoa, Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy Do I have your love, am I still enough Tell me don't I, or tell me do I baby Give you everything that you ever wanted Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely Do I just need to give up and get on with my life

Its been four months since the decision to give it another try. Life couldnt be better. Happy has been spending more time with you. Sex was back to being mind blowing. You even changed. Going to TM's parties, not being a stuck up bitch and you even got your happy ending. Baby Finn Fearless Lowman was conceived at a TM party, so Happy and you got what you both wanted.

Tell me baby do I get one more try Do I, baby do I

#happy lowman imagine #happy lowman #sons of anarchy #happys-crazy-queen22

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alipiee · 7 years ago

Text

Oversharing 2.0

Tagged by @katyaton , thank you! :D <3

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (yeah idk that many to tag so)

Tagging: @binktop-nikiforovv @loveprez @revampired @fallsintograce @malevolent-magician @atruehero @fandomsbehold @missartemisholmes (+ that anon who keeps telling me they love me and then leaving, idk who you are but i love you too) and anyone else who wants to do it!! I never know who to tag ahhh

Oversharing under the cut so I don’t ruin your dashboard O:)

LAST...

Drink: water bc I’m basic

Phone call: my brother like a week ago, I don’t really call people

Text message: my best friend

Song you listened to:You Only Live Once (I finally forced my friend to watch yoi today, god bless)

Time you cried: n/a I’m crying constantly lmao

HAVE YOU...

Dated someone twice: nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone haha so no

Been cheated on: thankfully not

Lost someone special: yes

Been depressed: I’ve had days/weeks when I lose all motivation and feel extremely low, but no, I don’t think I’ve ever technically been depressed

Gotten drunk and thrown up: hahahah yes it was wild, I put four shots of vodka in half a cup of pepsi max (I underestimated how strong it was) - but that’s another story for another time bc its so long

Made new friends: yeah, I’ve met many lovely people through yoi and I’m so grateful :D

Fallen out of love: kind of? I don’t know if it was definitely love but when my relationship failed it broke my heart

Laughed until you cried: yes!! :D

Found out someone was talking about you: yeah haha i just avoided them bc I hate confrontations

Met someone who changed you: yes, my friend I met online (the one who six hours ahead is based off haha) helped me a lot and we mutually help each other through everything and he made my life much better

Found out who your friends are: yep

Kissed someone from your facebook list: never been kissed, so nope

Kissed a stranger: ^

Drank hard liquor: yes and it didn’t end well, although it made for some great stories for my friends to keep telling me about so theres that at least

Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose them 24/7; I’ve lost them rn. I think when I was about ten I didn’t know where they were for like a good few years but I can see fine w/o them so it’s all good

Turned someone down: never had to

Sex on the first date: no

Broken someone’s heart: no

Had your heart broken: yes

Been arrested: no

Cried when someone died: yeah

Fallen for a friend: kind of?

Kissed on the first date: no

GENERAL

List three favourite colours: pale blue, lilac, pale pink

How many facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

Do you have any pets: nope, but I really want a dog! :(

Do you want to change your name: Nah, I mean I don’t particularly like being called Alexandra, but I love the nicknames so it’s not too bad, like when someone calls me Al i cry??? how cute is Al??? and allie??? even just alex??? like wow there’s so many possibilities ty @ god

What time did you wake up: well I woke up at like 6 and checked my notifications (bc why not amarite?) but then went back to sleep till like 9 haha

What were you watching at midnight last night: yoi, bc I’m still trying to figure out how competitions work for my fic rip

Name something you cant wait for: yoi movie!!!

When was the last time you saw your mum: like ten minutes ago?

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: to stop procrastinating for like two minutes smh

What are you listening to right now: cars driving past in the streets and the fan of my (mum’s) ancient laptop trying to stop itself from overheating

Have you ever talked to a person called Tom: idk? probably, but not recently

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: my procrastination to write the next chapter of my fic, like jeez it’s been weeks and I still haven’t written the outline

Most visited site: AO3 by a mile (Tumblr doesn’t count bc I’m on mobile 99% of the time)

Mole: one on my left cheek, and smaller ones all over my body (or are they freckles? I still dont know)

Mark/s: I seem to have like small deep cuts from when I was little, but no recollection of how I got them? probably when I fought with my siblings 24/7 oops. Also I chipped my tooth when I slipped at the swimming baths when I was like eleven and it’s still there if that counts?

Childhood dream: to be a teacher (wow how basic Alex jeez)

Do you have a crush on someone: no

What do you like about yourself: literally nothing lmao *finger guns* (I guess I try to be as kind as possible to people and make them feel better if they need it?)

Piercings: just my ears

Blood type: no idea

Nickname: Alex, Al, Ali, Allie

Relationship status: single

Zodiac: virgo

Pronouns: she/her

Favourite tv show(s): well it used to be Sherlock, but then series four happened and well,,,,,,,,so Yuri on Ice, The US Office and Community

Tattoo: none

Right or left handed: right

Surgery: none

Hair dyed a different colour: my sister dyed it when I was like 12?? It was like a lighter shade of brown but turned out to be ginger oops

Sport: I used to swim for years but quit when I was like 7 bc they tried to move me up to the next group when I wasn’t ready and I panicked (good job Alex, what a 10/10 way of handling that situation)

Vacation: I just got back from Paris and it was the best holiday I’ve ever been on! :D

Current and all-time best friend name: Emma

Eye colour: blue

Favourite movie: idk?? I love Tangled and Anastasia, but also stuff like Airplane! ahhhh

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: hugs, especially if you’re close to them bc it’s just like?? I love you so much??

Lips or eyes: eyes, they’re so pretty and complex, like woahh have you ever stared at eye they’re so cool

Shorter or taller: idc

Nice arms or stomach: stomach? idk who we’re talking about bc honestly if you have a body that works who cares

Sensitive or loud: sensitive

Hook up or relationship: relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

Yourself: hahahahaha that’ll be the day

Miracles: no idea, I’m conflicted

Love at first sight: not really, but it’s cute if it’s true

Santa Claus: not for the last like seven years

If you made it this far, you deserve a blanket bc wow my life is really not v interesting at all but ty if you read it

and feel free to do it and use me as the ‘tagged by’ art even if I didn’t tag you, bc I literally had 0 idea who to tag ahhh <3

#goddammit alex will you ever stop oversharing #the answer is no probably not #tag

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westmeath · 8 years ago

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i'm new to the who, all i've listened to is quadrophenia and the odd song here & there off other albums. i know the most basic basics but other than that ? nothing. so what are some fun facts? interesting stories? important things fans should know? idk tell me what you'd say to a new fan

WHOOPS MY APOLOGIES I didnt see this till now, thank you so much for your ask!!! I’ll put this under a read more cause itll probably end up being very long, I hope I can get you more interested in them

its good youve listened to that much even, i hadnt listened to ANYTHING when i first got into them except like, the Iconic Songs (who are you, baba o riley, my generation, wont get fooled again, and id never even listened to those purposely i only knew em from just general knowledge), it actually took me quite a while to listen to their actual music cause i was more interested in the story of the band and its members for the first while

theyre one of the bands with the most interesting stories so i hope i can get you as interested in that aspect of them as i was when i first got into them (and still am, i go mad for any new stories i can hear about em, and love hearing different perspectives of stories ive heard before)

this is goin to be an utter mess i apologise, there are MANY many interesting stories but some off the top of my head are uh… well theres the iconic keith moons 21st birthday where he allegedly drove a lincoln continental into the swimming pool (this turned out to be a story keith made up though just for shock value)

that party was still amazing though, keith had actually left early cause hed chipped his tooth and was at some emergency dentist, it was mostly the rest of the guests at the party that wreaked havoc, eg just trashing the place, spraying fire extinguishers over cars in the car park that stripped all their paint, fairly sure it didnt end till the guards were called

i actually dont think any of the who were involved after keith left at all. john had gone with keith to the dentist, pete had gone to bed, not sure what roger was up to honestly but probably something the same as pete, despite this the who were Allegedly banned from holiday inns for life (but from what ive heard stayed in another one the next week and numerous times after)

heres another interesting story about him thats a bit lesser known, ill link it cause ive posted it before and also to save space

thinking about it, most stories that are widely told are to do with keith.. hes definitely the most interesting member of the band, in the words of uh. Many People hes just like no one else youve ever met, a very interesting character.. hes probably the main force behind my interest in the who in the beginning, i loved learning about his life the most (although that said i havent got a ‘favourite member’ of the band, i think theyre all incredibly cool and interesting and i love learning about all of them)

SORRY THIS IS already getting really long and i havent even scratched the surface… ill just say like, the whole band is full of really interesting characters, and its really interesting learning about all of them… like keith just for being absolutely different from everyone else, how above it all he really just did all his Wild Antics to make people laugh and be happy, seemingly at the cost of his own mental health (its believed he had bpd, and also obviously struggled with alcohol abuse and drugs too) (its more complicated than that though obviously but there is already a whole book delving into that subject and i fucking adore it if you want to read it, its called dear boy: the life of keith moon)

petes also incredibly interesting cause he was like.. the driving force of the band i suppose youd say. wrote (mostly) all the songs, came up with the stories behind tommy and quadrophenia (and lifehouse, which was so complicated no one could understand it, leading to him eventually having a breakdown and having to scrap the project, the songs on it eventually became whos next) its also really interesting (and quite sad) learning about his childhood and also his own struggles with mental health/alcohol (and drugs, hard drugs moreso in the 80s)

ill admit straight away that i dont know much about roger compared to the other members of the band, but hes interesting in his own way as well like, hes almost the complete opposite of the other members of the band in terms of alcohol/drug abuse, i dont think he ever went near drugs (except for a while in the early 60s, i believe), im not sure how he was with the drink but nowhere near as bad as the rest of the band probably. i know my dad likes him a lot cause hes a farmer (bought his farm in the early 70s with the wealth brought by the tommy album) which is something i can admire too seeing as im also a farmer although on a much smaller scale. hes also seemingly a really nice person (despite his love for a good punch up, in the early who days at least.) like hes very down to earth, working class, not all high and mighty like.. just very nice to listen to. would be excellent for a chat.

and johns interesting just cause hes a complete fucking mystery. according to pete he had no addictions except like. shopping.. he was called the “quiet one” even though he was far from it, just probably didnt really run his mouth (hardly ever spoke on stage but when he did it was always fantastic. eg him telling the crowd to “shuddup” in a death growl when theyre chanting for bell boy before a live recording of behind blue eyes) also he was probably the closest member to keith, went clubbing with him (a quote from keith is “I go to clubs with John. He’s big,”) a lot and often joined in with him when he was smashing up/exploding bits of hotel. also in terms of being an utter mystery like, theres not an awful lot known about his life, for example apparently he was a freemason “all his life” and pete never found out till after he died

i am so sorry this is TERRIBLY terribly long but listen i could go on about this even longer. ill stop now though cause its confusing enough already… please though if youve any questions about specifics or the likes please feel free to send more asks OR IF YOUD LIKE YOU CAN MESSAGE ME!!! id love to have a proper 1on1 convo where you can ask all the questions your heart desires and stop me if theres something youd like me to expand on and the likes. id absolutely love that

THAT GOES FOR ANYONE ELSE INTERESTED TOO!!! i fuckin love talking about the who and itd be fantastic to put my knowledge to use (and maybe learn a thing or too as well.) like either through tumblr messenger is grand (although i mightnt notice it for a while) or you can grab my skype or discord or somethin. even the messenger on twitter. my skype is fruity-pear, my discord is kaisuke#1387 and my public twitter is jjughead_ or my personal/friends one is kkaisuke

as a last thing for the “important things fans should know” UHH LIKE new fans id say like… if youre getting really deep into the story of the who be prepared cause theres a lot of bad stuff, sad stories as well as good ones. the band members all did some bad things like any other human, had bad things happen to them, like this is Real Life Shit and theres no sugar coating it, it really is worth it to learn about the band though and even the bad stuff is interesting to learn about, from an outsiders view

thank you again so so much and i apologise again for how long this is, i dont blame you if you dont read it all. i hope this is of some use to you though (or to anyone else) and that it makes you want to learn more about them

#poast #asks #Anonymous

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disableddisaster · 8 years ago

Note

Do all of them ! Blease !!! I Stan u so hard I need the insider deets!!!!!

now THATS what i like to hear :))

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

asfgsfdg im only listening to after laughter rn

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

@gaysun but thats happening so idk. come to alberta tristan

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

theres not a single book in this room and im not leaving to go look for one

4: What do you think about most?

sfgafdgasfg idk myself, probably

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”he drank ur orange juice the fuck” - you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

just my underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

im gay

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are good boys are bad (noah fence i love u)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yes actually :’)

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

man idk

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

FUCKIGN black BEETLES

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i dont think so? kleenex?

13: What’s your religion?

man idk !!!!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to work or looking for dogs

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

in front im a vain bxtch

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

patd.............................................

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know i lied to my mom the other day but i told the truth five minutes later and i dont know what i lied abt

18: Do you believe in karma?

no lol

19: What does your URL mean?

bella swan is a big ass lesbian

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

dude i dont fucking KNOW who am i!!!!!!

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

kristen stewart.. . hayley williams..... shrugs

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no i dont want any BUGS crawlin around in there.there was an episode of greys anatomy when that happened

23: How do you vent your anger?

i yell to my mom tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

MUGS

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting is so fun

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

NO LOL

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: paper towels

sound i love: rain i guess

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what IF I fail at life completely wow

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES AND YES

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right, my computer. left, my cup!

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

man idk AIR??????

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

high school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

CANADIAN west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

hmmmm bad question\

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

AUGHFGKDF not to be dramatic but there isnt one

36: Define Art.

dude i dont know. why is this so fake deep

37: Do you believe in luck?

NO !!!!!

38: What’s the weather like right now?

its dark out and im inside!!! i dont know!! i think its warm

39: What time is it?

12:25am :O

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes! and no

41: What was the last book you read?

eclipse..................sdfghsdghsdfgsfg

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

..............................who does......

43: Do you have any nicknames?

shy!!!!!!!!!!!

44: What was the last film you saw?

dgsfsdfg new moon!!!!!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i dont know!!!!!!!!! i injure myself a lot im clumsy

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no!!!!!!!!!!! let them be free.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

twilight, dragon quest 8, paramores new album,.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

TAKE A WILD FUCKign GUESS

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

YES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was awful

50: Do you believe in magic?

.......................no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

YES LOL

52: What is your astrological sign?

im a libra :^)

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i cant fuckign save money for shit

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a grande coconut cold brew coffee with extra coconut milk :O

55: Love or lust?

what dpes this mean.

56: In a relationship?

no!

57: How many relationships have you had?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

fun fact i have a really really short tongue

59: Where were you yesterday?

went to the bank in the city and the MALL and ate a sandwich

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no :(:(:(

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

SOCKS ARE GARBAGE

62: What’s your favourite animal?

CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sheep and giraffes. mostly cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

fgkdfgosfkg u think i have a secret weapon???????? bxtch i dont even like me!!!!

64: Where is your best friend?

i texted her and asked her one sec. ok she replied “im in my bed!!!!!”

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@gaysun @gaysun @hurricance @hurricance @popcornlesbians :)

66: What is your heritage?

idk! im ukrainian and french

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

playing dragon quest and listening to @quidditchlesbian s wild stories

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

this is so werid asgafdgadsf

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

duh

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean probably. im kind of annoying tho

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

sfgadfgadsf save the dog im not HEARTLESS my job gives me no hours anyways lol

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) probably bc i overshare b) probably just pet my cats c) sort of?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

TRUST

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

..................someBODY

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

2980

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust and communication also i think attraction is important tbh

77: How can I win your heart?

be a cute girl and be nice to me. maybe have a cute animal or smth

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

MMMMMMMMMM ABLEISM

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

gay

80: What size shoes do you wear?

5? 6?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

”gay bxtch”

82: What is your favourite word?

LESBIAN

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

i wish i was on my phone id add the yellow heart emoji

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”wow id die for u”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

earlier i was listening to live in chicago

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

yellow adn PINK

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its a pic of bella swan

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

theoretically like donald trump but probably my abuser :)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

bxtch u could ask me literally anything and id tell u. literally aything

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go back to sleep. plot twist im actually just having a sleep paralysis episode

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the vegetables are mushrooms and ALSO iwanna teleport or fly

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the other morning i had a really relaxing breakfast at tim hortons i just listened to music and ate my bagel. it was nice

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

JSDFKJSFG u think i can choose? ur FUNNY!!

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh,,.. .my fucign god. tjis is such a loaded question,. HAYLEY WILLIAMS

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

JENNA (or nyc but shes not there rn so probably just wherever she is!)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

i think my bio dad was in jail once. maybe

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no ew throwing up is a huge fear of mine

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep i love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“im gay”

THANKS TRISTAN

#homonormality

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aparoxysm · 8 years ago

Note

✦ ♒ ⌨ ❤ ♣ ☀ ☢ ♬ ✏ ❈ (for Mason and Helena)

HELENA WILSON.

✦ to learn about my character’s family

The Wilson Fam are basically the weasleys. They live in a big, old house in the bayou that’s just like. Falling apart all the time and they have a lot of land and a garage with too much shit in it and the boys all play with footballs and stuff in the yard. The house is like multistory level high instead of wide and flat, and theres probably a greenhouse and like your average family pet.

Astrid Wilson --- MOM --- she’s a bit loony. she’s a spiritual healer and basically borderline psychic. but the older she gets the more off with the fairies she becomes, so her ability to work during the week has seriously degraded from like 4 days to 3 now down to 2. its kind of a problem that nobody talks about. shes a nice lady though and she’ll love you forever if you let her read your tea leaves.

Perry Wilson --- DAD --- he is my fave man ok. hes so nice and chummy and hes basically really obsessed with antiques. he just loves the history of objects and where they come from and who owned them and what their use is and he basically is the living emodiment of “just because its broken doesnt mean its useless” like??? what a nice guy he is. also he used to sing to the kids a lot and helena holds onto that a lot. they also both love motorcycles but she only likes them i think because her dad does.

Nathan Wilson --- ultimiate “golden child” who is guilted into looking after everybody cause hes the only one with his shit together. is also easily manipulated B)

Jakob Wilson --- town delinquent, the rudest fuck you’ll ever meet, 10/10 will make you a target for no reason other than he’s bored. the family rule is legitimately, helena and him are not allowed in a room together and on national holidays, they have to keep to their separate sections. its an actual thing the whole family voted on because they WILL physically assault each other if given the chance and nobody wants to deal with it anymore.

Hugh Wilson --- in jail because hes an idiot. (hes actually lovely tho)

Flynn Wilson --- who even ??? knows ??? tbh??? he is floaty and i love him @hvlliwells

Gully Wilson --- 2 nice 4 this world, actual cinnamon roll, will do anything for someone who asks nicely even murder someone maybe he is just 2 weak for kindness. also a writer, wants to be a journalist and is probably the only other wilson who will do something big and great.

♒ to learn about my character’s childhood

Pretty sweet tbh, but they got teased a lot for being “the poor kids from the swamp” and like. that was not nice.

⌨ to learn about my character’s education

Aha, Helena is an idiot. I love her, bless, but she is not committed to her education at all. She’s barely committed to her job (or relationship OOP), like she just takes no pride in it at all which is sad. It was hard to find a school that would take her with such crappy attendance.

❤ to learn about my character’s past relationships

During college she explored polyamory a lot, and was super a fan. but it was just a coping mechanism.

♣ to learn about my character’s wardrobe

Black leather jackets, combat boots, flannel underlayers, fishnets under denim, burgundy lipstick, ripped denim, pagan jewelry (hamsa hands & crystals), tops with lots of straps or distressed holes, rock band slogans, rings. so many fucking rings.

☀ to learn about my character’s hobbies

Drawing, she loves it. The really messy, smudgy, super conceptual stuff that reads emotion rather than a picture. Also drinking. Also smoking. Also fucking. Going to bars with live music. Having deep, conceptual conversations. Exploring places.

☢ to learn about my character’s phobias

She doesn’t have any I’m pretty sure.

♬ to learn about my character’s music taste

ASJKDAJHSADAJHSK her playlist is here.

✏ to learn about my character’s reading habits

She likes picture books. LOL no i mean like, the published hobbyist magazines. I think shes subscribed to like a bunch of them. Probably doesnt even read half of them.

❈ to learn about my character’s eating habits

Its either all or nothing. It depends how her drinking is affecting her.

MASON YOUNG.

✦ to learn about my character’s family

So his mom and dad (Lynette & Anthony) own a restaurant and are your typical love story. They met at a culinary school and were each other’s competition until they weren’t, and so after they decided to get married and open a restaurant together. Mason has two sisters, one older and one young.

Hanna Young --- Older. She’s a literal annoying know it all who thinks shes better than everyone and well if you know Mason hA better believe he will remind her every chance he gets that shes dirt.

Riley Young --- Younger. Absolute wild child. Nobody really knows what's going on in her crazy little head. 10/10 wants to work for nasa and gets high with mason on weeknights. he kind of idolizes her.

♒ to learn about my character’s childhood

Full of cooking shows and lessons and he hated that a lot. They’re a pretty independent family too like he was always given the option to opt out of things which he did so hes not realy involved with them a lot. he thinks theyre really lame.

⌨ to learn about my character’s education

Eh, Mason’s an average student. Kind of a floater. wasn’t great at sport, wasnt great at art, wasnt great at science. i dont really know what it is he liked doing or even likes doing now hahaha. he was just bad at everything and only got into the college he did by paying for it.

❤ to learn about my character’s past relationships

Okay mason is so complicated because hes a bit of an enigma when it comes to sexuality and relationships. I don’t think he’s ever sat down to put himself on the kinsey scale and there have been many a gay moment to happen in his life that he just never will address and i think girls kind of gross him out? but he is also??? the kind to date a lot of girls anyway??? i dont know. i dont know if he’s closeted or just trying to figure it out or if he even cares enough to be doing either. i just know that hes not really interested in relationships.

♣ to learn about my character’s wardrobe

He dresses pretty well tbh which also crushes my hetero vibes for him. Not to say that gay vs hetero fashion sense but he cares. he cares a lot about how he looks he is vain af. button up shirts and cool pants, mhm. hes that guy who throws a bit of quirk into his outfits.

☀ to learn about my character’s hobbies

Twitter. literally all day every day. and Instagram.

☢ to learn about my character’s phobias

That people will find out what he did in college.

♬ to learn about my character’s music taste

He’s a big appreciative fan of Briney Spears, Rhi Rhi and Beyonce like. You will catch him singing some Selena or Grande like nobody’s business. Probably prefers modern music to anything else LORD MAYBE HE IS GAY AF?

✏ to learn about my character’s reading habits

If it’s a trending article, he’s read it.

❈ to learn about my character’s eating habits

He eats everything all the time always. Especially other people’s food B))))

#ch: helena #ch: mason #MAN this was great.#tehkatieofrps

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twelvebyseventyfive · 6 years ago

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Alternative Bordeaux (2) Château Falfas, Côtes de Bourg

Véronique Cochran is the proprietor of Château Falfas, which she runs with her husband John. This estate is beautifully situated in the Côtes de Bourg, with 20 hectares of vines planted on gravel, clay and limestone soils (with limestone bedrock), running down to the Gironde esturary on a gentle south-facing slope. The dominant feature of the soil, though, is the clay, which can be quite deep. The nearest village, Bayon, is where the Garonne and Dordogne rivers meet and the estuary begins. ‘It is like a little sea, with tides,’ says Veronique. ‘Every 6 hours oceanic air comes in the vineyards breathe it.’ There is also a 15 hectare woodland on the property, which she describes as a ‘treasure.’

Veronique Cochran

There are two main stories about this estate that bring it into the Alternative Bordeaux story. The first is that this is a great example of a good terroir in an unfashionable part of the region, capable of making excellent wines even though traditionally wines from here don’t sell for much. The second is that Falfas is one of the pioneers of biodynamics in France. Since 1989 the vineyards here have been farmed biodynamically.

Limestone

The chateau itself was built in 1612, and the cellar was constructed in the late 17th century. Her mother and father had a vineyard in Montreuil-Bellay in Saumur (Loire), and her father, François Bouchet, was one of the first to apply biodynamics to vineyards (his book, Biodynamic Agriculture: how to apply it to vineyards, is a standard in the field). He died in 2005, but her brother Matthieu Bouchet works as a biodynamic consultant, and counts Château Palmer as one of his clients. François consulted for Château Pontet Canet when they made the transition.

Veronique’s brother runs the family estate in Saumur and this has been farmed biodynamically since the 1960s, which makes it one of the earliest biodynamic wine estates in the world. She grew up there, but was more interested in art than wine. She studied art and movement in Paris, where she met John, who was an American lawyer working there. Both changed careers to move to Bordeaux to run a wine estate. They arrived in 1988 and looked at several properties. ‘This place touched our hearts,’ says Veronique. ‘It’s a special place, serene and discrete. The situation is quite special.’

This is enough preparation 501 to treat 20 hectares

‘I said it would be run biodynamically,’ she said. ‘At first he wasn’t convinced, but I had the energy to do it and it wasn’t long until he was convinced,’ recalls Veronique. ‘Rapidly he saw it was a very global approach; something very deep, permitting the expression of place and respecting the harmony of plants and soil. We built it with our feet on the ground and our heads looking at the cosmos.’

The Cochrans have worked closely with Biodyvin. She says that research, commissioned by Biodyvin and carried out by Philippe Olivier Coulomb in the southern Rhône, shows that biodynamic farming results in thicker skinned grapes. ‘I believe in my fruit,’ she says. ‘I know it is strong enough to be balanced in the fermentation process without sulfur dioxide additions.’ After harvest, fermentation is with wild yeasts. Veronique makes a pied de cuve each year but says she never needs it. However, she does add sulfites before bottling. ‘I’m not a partisan of low sulphur. It permits the wines to travel and to be stable.’

‘I’m convinced that biodynamics is agriculture for the future,’ says Véronique. ‘I see more and more demand for it. Some people are frightened by things they can’t understand, and things that are not visible, but I believe that life is not visible.’

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Three cuvées are made. The young vines see no oak; Château Falfas gets a year in barrel; and the old vine reserve gets 20 months in new oak. ‘The barrel is a new period of ripeness for the wine,’ she says. ‘It is not adding anything; just time.’ Production is 80-90 000 bottles per year.

THE WINES

Château Falfas Les Desmoiselles de Falfas Rosé 2014 Bordeaux Saignée rosé. Sappy and detailed with a nice spiciness. Some apple notes, with cherries, spice and herbs. A bit of animal wildness, too, with a strongly savoury character. Gastronomic.

Château Falfas Les Desmoiselles 2015 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux When it’s at specific gravity of 1000 the wine is taken out of the vat and finished in the vat without the skins and the seeds. Add some sulphites (tiny amount, gas form) just after malolactic. Total is 45 ppm. Very supple and fresh with lovely pure fresh cherry and raspberry fruits. So supple, fresh and delicious with real elegance and lovely pure direct fresh fruit and a subtle chalky edge. Delicious. 91/100

Château Falfas 2010 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux 55% Merlot, 30% Cab Sauvignon, 10% Cabernet Franc, 5% Malbec. The first vintage I vinified myself because my husband died in spring 2010. Supple, sweet cherry fruits with a bit offresh blackcurrant. Juicy and sappy with a bit of grip. Fresh and leafy with a bright personality and good acidity. Vibrant and vital with a lovely green edge. Lovely digestible wine. 92/100

Château Falfas 2011 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux Grippy, dense and structured with firm, fresh, gravelly blackcurrant and blackberry fruit. Lovely acidity here and some greenness, integrated into the savoury, tightwound fruit. Savoury, structural and dense, this is a very gastronomic wine. Chunky but still has harmony. 91/100

Château Falfas 2012 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux Pure, sinewy, dense blackberry and blackcurrant fruit with good structure and acidity. There’s a lovely precision to this wine, with some fruit purity. Peppery and dense with real focus and depth. Has a lovely harmony to it. There’s a generosity to this wine with some sweetness to the fruit, but also good structure. A lovely wine with a long future ahead of it. 94/100

Château Falfas Le Chevalier 2008 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux 75 year old vines, mostly Cabernet Sauvignon, very small grapes and low yield. Aged 22 months in new oak barrels. Sweet vanilla oak on the nose. Fresh red and black fruits palate with a strong overlay of new oak, with coconut and vanilla notes sticking out a bit. 88/100

Château Falfas Le Chevalier 2009 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux Supple red berry and blackberry fruit here. Fresh with some fruit sweetness, and also some spicy, cedary oak. Appealing mid weight fruit but the oak isn’t quite fully integrated yet. Fine-grained tannic structure suggests a harmony to come. 89/100

Château Falfas Le Chevalier 2011 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux ‘I changed from the Radoux barrels because they gave a lot of presence of oak, so I only now work with Raymond, with medium toast,’ says Veronique Cochran. ‘I am trying to make sure the barrel is a prop to lift the wine and not to cover it.’ Supple and finely spiced with some peppery detail, good acidity and nice tannins. Quite savoury and cedary with lots of presence but also good balance. Still quite tannic and worth waiting a few years for it to peak. 91/100

Château Falfas Le Chevalier 2012 Côtes de Bourg, Bordeaux Fresh, direct and supple with good acidity and structure as well as fresh red cherry and blackcurrant fruit. Supple, juicy and yet with some savoury seriousness. This is quite tannic, shows some cedary oak at the moment, and it has lots of potential for development. There’s a finesse here as well as sternness. Lovely wine. 93/100

from Jamie Goode's wine blog http://www.wineanorak.com:/wineblog/bordeaux/alternative-bordeaux-2-chateau-falfas-cotes-de-bourg For Fine Wine Investment opportunities check out Twelve by Seventy Five: http://www.twelve-by-seventy-five.com/

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samanthasroberts · 7 years ago

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‘It’s flavourful as hell’: welcome to Hawaii’s annual Spam festival

In Britain its a joke. In Hawaii its a delicacy. Why does the luncheon meat have such a cult following?

Not even the drizzle can deter the crowds unspooling along Hawaiis Waikiki Beach. As late April showers fall upon Kalakaua Avenue, the roads are lined three-deep with sunburned tourists, surfer bros and silver-haired pensioners. Their colourful T-shirts, flower garlands and fancy dress costumes are soaked by rain, but eagerly they wait. Suddenly, a chorus of tiny ukuleles starts to play. The procession begins. Are they waiting to pay homage to a visiting dignitary or religious leader? No. Theyre here to celebrate Hawaiis favourite food: the immortal luncheon meat called Spam.

I join snaking queues for seemingly endless food stalls, each dish more absurd than the last: Spam pizza, Spam fried rice, Spam crackers, Spam pho, deep-fried mac and cheese bites (with Spam) and, of course, Spam fritters. I spot some Spam-infused macadamia nuts, and a slab of grilled Spam atop sticky rice, doused in soy and bound with seaweed: Spam sushi. Theres even Spam dipped in chocolate.

Serious Spam fans are focused on buying up rare flavours such as Spam Mezclita, Spam Tocino and Spam Portuguese Sausage. Others snap selfies beneath a giant arch of Spam cans, or gawp at a catamaran festooned with Spam tins. Kids try their luck at the Spam wheel of fortune, hoping to take home a branded T-shirt or headphones. I stumble into a king-sized Spam can made of foam, with human arms and legs sticking out. Inside is Honolulu Foodbank employee John Valdez. What would Hawaii be without Spam? he shouts through the costume. It would be boring!

Welcome to Spam Jam, the largest gathering of tinned pork enthusiasts on Earth. Today, I am one of 20,000 fans at the 15th annual event. The residents of Americas 50th state eat more Spam per capita than anywhere on earth, with Hawaiian steak found on five-star restaurant menus and at McDonalds. Last year, 8m cans were sold here and thats just the regular-sized ones, not counting Spam Singles, Spam Spread or smaller tins. But its not just Hawaii that adores Spam: in time for Spams 80th birthday on 5 July, global can sales topped 8bn.

Cans of Spam on display at the Spam Jam. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

In Britain, Spam is derided as fish bait, furniture varnish or gun grease; there have long been rumours that it contains pigs lips, snouts, trotters and tail. In fact, it lists just a half-dozen ingredients: pork with ham (Two cuts of the pig. One perfectly tender and juicy flavour), water, salt, sugar, potato starch and sodium nitrite. Spams makers are keen to point out that theres no hidden scrapings or useless bits of pork, and that its all from the shoulder or rear. In fact, at 90% pork, Spam rivals some luxury sausages. Yet in the UK its reputation is up there with Turkey Twizzlers, while its high salt and fat content make it the kind of processed food we now avoid for our health. If Spam is known in Britain as a culinary punchline, why is it so popular across the Atlantic?

In Austin, Minnesota, population 24,716, all roads lead to Spam. Spamtown USA, as it is sometimes known, is a cutesy, model version of a city, all straight lines and artificial lakes. It was here in 1891 that George A Hormel founded a family meatpacking firm that would one day become a Fortune 500 mainstay, employing one in six of Austins inhabitants. Hormels got his feet sticking out the window again, schoolchildren used to say, when the porky odour floated out factory doors.

Georges son, Jay Hormel, was a born opportunist: as a child, hed pay two cents for housewives unwanted sink grease, then hawk it to his fathers soap-making divisionfor twice the price. In 1929, he succeeded George as president and soon came up with a way to make use of rarely butchered pork shoulder meat. He adapted a Napoleonic food preservation technique, adding salt and sodium nitrite to keep it pink and ward off botulism, and at the same time making it indefinitely edible. By 1942, Hormel Foods was selling $120m- worth of Spam a year.

Anne and Mark I Love Spam Benson are in town to marry at the local Spam museum. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Hormel-owned structures still dominate Austins skyline. Theres the stinky plant, rolling office blocks and the Hormel Institute, a biomedical research centre. The apex of the citys microscopic tourist industry is a newly revamped Spam museum, an Ikea-coloured time capsule of social, military and pop culture history. With Spam print beanbags, touch-sensitive screens and a jungle gym, the museum is aimed at the meat lovers of tomorrow, but when I visit it is also packed with elderly locals and Mormon missionaries. Inside, a bespectacled tour guide finds everything Spamazing, including a production line of cans that whizz overhead like Scalextric.

It is the meat that won the war, my guide cheerily informs me. During the second world war, allied soldiers consumed 68,000 tonnes of Spam, but Jay Hormel was devastated by the hate mail he received. The language people use! he told the New Yorker in 1945. If they think Spam is terrible, they ought to have eaten the bully beef we had in the last war. Hormel died in 1954, before President Eisenhower sent a letter with a personal pardon. I ate my share of Spam Ill even confess to a few unkind remarks about it, he wrote, on the firms 75th anniversary in business. But as former commander-in-chief, I believe I can still officially forgive you your only sin: sending us so much of it.

Spam couture. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Today, the Spam museum is hosting its first wedding. Tying the knot are an eccentric British couple, Anne Mousley, 33, and Mark Benson, 42. A smiley care worker from Liverpool, Benson recently changed his middle name by deed poll to I Love Spam.His grandfather worked in Liverpools Spam factory after the war. No prizes for guessing the wedding buffet. Its like nothing else, says Benson of his favourite food, which he eats at least twice a week. Bit of a bacon flavour, bit of a porky flavour. Its totally unique. Spam aficionados of such calibre are rare, although I do learn of one Nebraskan man who in 2007 survived a 30-day Spam-only eating challenge.

Meanwhile, in South Korea, second only to America for Spam consumption, profits are booming. During the lunar new year, Spam is given as a gift, and budae jjigae, a Spam-infused army stew from the second world war, remains popular.

I learn that island territories such as Guam and Micronesia see Spam as a life-saver. During extreme weather, Spams limitless shelf life makes it a Pacific Islanders best friend. Later, I speak to a wild-haired Spam celebrity in rural Alaska, known as Mr Whitekeys. For 26 years, he ran a Spam-themed bar, complete with frequent Spammer cards buy 10 meals, get one free. If you want meat, you gotta have Spam, he says via Skype. Why? You cant get fresh supplies in large amounts, and half the time you dont have refrigeration.

Back in sunny Hawaii, breakfast beers are noisily slammed on a plastic folding table. Three miles from Waikiki Beach, I am mingling with professional chefs at the esteemed Kakaako farmers market, surrounded by organic produce and artisanal pasta. Keen to know what islanders really think of Spam, I talk to chef Mark Gooch Noguchi, 43, who runs the Pili Group, a culinary movement based around healthy, sustainable food. The opposite, one would assume, of Spam.

Spam-based dishes on display at Spam Jam 2017. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

But I love, love, love Spam, Noguchi tells me, unprompted, between swigs of beer, dressed in shorts, flip-flops and a loud flowery shirt. We grew up on it, he explains, passing me a pan-fresh beef taco. I remember when I was cooking in New York, other chefs would joke with me, like, Ha, you guys eat Spam, he says. But our parents had gone through the second world war. The big joke among local people is that if you visit your grandparents and look downstairs, theres six cases of toilet paper, four cases of paper towels and three cases of Spam. In Hawaii, Spam is the cement that bonds its many cultures from Japanese, Filipino and Hawaiian native, through to mainland United States. Noguchi proudly boasts that locals can tell Spam from its canned-pork competitors Tulip and Treet. Elsewhere, Spam is slowly being appropriated by hipster culture, just like scotch eggs and avocado before it. Its both an indulgence of nostalgia and two fingers up to eating clean. In Londons Soho, Jinjuu restaurant makes a Spamarita cocktail, mixing Spam-infused Ocho tequila with mezcal, pineapple, citrus, mandarin orange and agave nectar. And Saint Marc, an upscale restaurant in Huntington Beach, California, has a hidden Spam speakeasy known as the Blind Pig.

Flipping Spam burgers. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Its revered, man, says Nina Pullella, 36, a chef I meet at Kakaako market. I think its the challenge of taking a can off the shelf this strange food from the second world war and doing something spectacular. Pullella is a vegan, from New Jersey via Italy, yet she still oozes praise for Spam as an ingredient (Its flavourful as hell, right?). After three hours at the market, I find just one person down on Spam. And she wont talk on record. Are you kidding? Ill have the whole island on my back, she whispers.

Night falls on Waikiki Beach. As the raindrops evaporate, a female rock band loudly tests the suspension of a flatbed stage. There is a snaking queue for OnoPops, an ice-cream company that flogs a Spam-based popsicle. Its a heartstrings thing, explains owner Josh Lanthier-Welch, 46, a stout man with a goatee. Though a Spam devotee, he warns of the dangers of excess: The Spam musubi [sushi] is a symbol of whats wrong with the local diet. It is so beloved, but living on Spam, white rice and nori will kill you.

As the festival comes to a close, I decide to break my 20-plus years of Spam abstinence (I havent touched the stuff since childhood). Im handed a skewer of cold cubed Spam and crunchy vegetables. I sink my teeth into the soft meat, and am transported back to my youth. The salty, pork-ish flavour wafts up my nostrils. I feel dirty and a little bit sick. Next I try a hot Spam katsu sandwich, from Hula Grill. I take a small bite. Then a larger one. It has a deep, smoky bacon flavour, offset by rich katsu sauce. It is, Im almost embarrassed to say, tremendous. Spam tempura fries, Spam corn dogs and Spam dim sum soon follow.

As I chew, I wonder if Spam deserves its reputation. Perhaps Brits just lack the imagination to cook Spam right. Or maybe, like KitKats in Japan or David Hasselhoffs mega-stardom in Germany, Spam should simply remain a pop culture anomaly the American Marmite that one either loves or hates.

Spam-flavoured macadamia nuts. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Spam fritters

Serves three.

340g Spam (ie, 1 can) 150g plain flour 225ml cold water 3 tbsp olive oil Buttered roll (optional) Cut the Spam lengthways into six thick slices. Put the flour in a mixing bowl and slowly introduce the water, whisking, until you have a smooth batter.

Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Dip each slice of Spam in the batter mix, shake to drain off any excess and lay in the hot pan. When its golden and crisp on one side, flip and repeat until its brown and crisp on both sides.

Serve in a buttered roll, if desired, with chips and peas on the side.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/08/its-flavourful-as-hell-welcome-to-hawaiis-annual-spam-festival/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/10/08/its-flavourful-as-hell-welcome-to-hawaiis-annual-spam-festival/

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allofbeercom · 7 years ago

Text

‘It’s flavourful as hell’: welcome to Hawaii’s annual Spam festival

In Britain its a joke. In Hawaii its a delicacy. Why does the luncheon meat have such a cult following?

Cans of Spam on display at the Spam Jam. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Anne and Mark I Love Spam Benson are in town to marry at the local Spam museum. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Spam couture. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Spam-based dishes on display at Spam Jam 2017. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Flipping Spam burgers. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Spam-flavoured macadamia nuts. Photograph: Marco Garcia for the Guardian

Spam fritters

Serves three.

Serve in a buttered roll, if desired, with chips and peas on the side.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/08/its-flavourful-as-hell-welcome-to-hawaiis-annual-spam-festival/

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