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mehphoobia · 3 years

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You are beautiful

pairing - Tom Holland (actor) x Reader (college girl)

summary - Y/n is visiting her parents for the first time to Rio, whom she doesn’t know properly because they left her with her aunt when she was young. She is insecure about meeting her parents but she finds comfort in a stranger.

MASTERLIST

word count- 2.9k or around 3k

warnings - mentions of insecurity and self doubt, no swearing(cause its like my first post so gotta stay ‘pure’)

“Get up Y/N and Claudia…its 8 am already. We are going to be late.” a faint alarm could be heard from the kitchen, two rooms away from your room.

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Your parents had been looking forward this vacation for months. With your father working in Rio for the past 7 years and your mother being a full time nurse at a nearby hospital in Rio where your parents lived, you never got a chance to feel how it felt to be with your parents. So naturally with no one to your care, you grew up with your Aunt Cass and your cousin Claudia, around whom your entire world revolved for the past 20 years.

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Grumpy, filled with laziness up to the brim Claudia dragged herself to your bed and tortured you to get up. “Just two more minutes. I swear”, you begged as if she was listening. Then came the final blow with a splash of water on your face and then well….its self-explanatory. You both got up, finished through the verbal fight which left Aunt Cass chuckling in the kitchen.

“Aren’t you a tad bit excited to go to Rio, it’s been years since your parents last spent time with you.” Asked Claudia looking at you expression-less face in the mirror while brushing your teeth. “I don’t know Cloud, it’s just that I don’t know how I should feel about it. I am nervous and scared and tired just thinking about how awkward it can get.”

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Your parents had last seen you on your 16th birthday, when they showed up at your house. The 16th year where you are neither an adult nor a child, of all those years they could have shown up, it was that year. Your mother had gifted you a manicure set and your father had bought you a hair kit and you absolutely had no idea what to do with it. Little did they know that you were more interested in trekking and photography rather than painting your nails and dyeing your hair? Where other girls chose tight fitting dresses and expensive heels you chose the comfort of sweatshirts: pajamas or jeans and sneakers.

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“You will be fine, it’s YOU after all. If I can tolerate you enough to share my room with you then trust me, anyone can put up with you” said Claudia boasting her patience and handing a comb from her dresser. “Why don’t you curse or compliment me one at a time” you snapped annoyingly. But you were grateful for supportive arms around you which calmed you down.

After getting ready, you greeted Aunt Cass with a smile on your face and a stretched good morning as you helped yourself with some toast and orange juice. “Eat well, it’s a long flight after all” said Aunt Cass followed by a “Yes ma’am.”

“Keep your phone charged at all times. Keep calling me after every two hours and did you pack enough clothes to last you a month. I don’t want to hear your mother complaining later about it. Should I pack some extra snacks for you, you will surely not take care for meals and if you skip any your meals throughout the day, I swear you have had it then.” It never ceased to amaze you how multitasking Aunt Cass could be. She is strict, tough and a woman of her words. There was not a single day when you and Claudia had not done your college assignments or homework with Aunt Cass being at home. But at the same time she would sit with you past midnight when both of you cousins stayed awake for you midterms. Maybe that’s why you never missed your parents because you never had a void in your life, Claudia and Aunt Cass had filled it lovingly.

That being said, before you knew it all three of you were in the car and already off for the airport. The entire ride was filled with constant chattering as to how famous and beautiful Rio is and as how will not be able to walk down a street without bumping into a celebrity. However you were lost in your thoughts about living with your parents for a month, about whom you knew nothing and neither did they about you.

After reaching the Leipzig Airport, you waved them goodbye, leaving the loving and proud embrace of Aunt Cass and a cute envious look on Claudia’s face you were all set for Rio.

During the flight:

It was a 15hr flight, with the overthinking and hyperactive person you were there was no possible way you could have had a simple excited flight journey, but there is no harm in wishing one for right? Or so you thought.

When you were boarding the plane you noticed an unusual number of bodyguards outside, literally engulfing the poor person standing in middle. What annoyed you the most was the people who were cheering, because at some point of time it wasn’t cheering anymore, it was a mob attack. After boarding, what greeted you were the over excited air-hostesses which was obviously because ‘the person’ as you painfully learnt through the mob attack. But all you could care at that moment was your seat being a window seat or not, and luckily it was. After putting your hand luggage in the upper compartment (you had three suitcases and one hand luggage) you finally asked a fellow passenger dressed in black hoodie with a mask on his face and skinny jeans as to what exactly was the commotion about and to brief you about the situation. The answer surprised you- it was none other than Tom Holland.

Your mouth was literally in the O shape and eyes wide open. It was the Tom Holland. It was your favorite actor travelling in the same flight with you. That explained the mob attack. The only person that came to you upper floor was your Claudia.

Y/N: TOM HOLLAND is in the flight right now!!!!!! Tom freaking Holland.

Claudia: wwwwhhhhaaatttt!!!???????, damn I knew I should have gone with you. How could you do this to me? Why?

Y/N: I am sorry ok I didn’t know or wait maybe I did. His visit to Leipzig was mentioned in his itinary on his twitter account how could we miss that? We just got lucky man and also I was squashed in the mob attack at the airport.

Claudia: Oh! You mean you got lucky dipshit!? Please tell me you got a picture!

Y/N: no I couldn’t, I hardly knew about him being on the plane I asked someone and I have been freaking out since.

*announcement for switching off electrical devices.*

Y/N: I have to switch off my phone for a while, the flight’s gonna take off.

Claudia: okay, I knew I should have come with you. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!text me soon..love you

Y/N: yeah you should have, I miss you. Love you too.

“Are you a fan too?” asked your neighbor. You look at him with suspicious eyes was he eying your texts? Because if he was, that’s not healthy and it creeped you out. Even though, “well yes, me and my sister.” You said and hoped the conversation will die out there. He took the answer and you could imagine a small smirk curling upon his face by the wrinkling of his eyes which was adorable. By his physique and posture he looked no older than early twenties. “What about you, are you fan?” you asked, unknowingly and regretted it immediately. “He doesn’t bugger me, so you could say so. How long have you been a fan?” ,“My aunt happened to be watching ‘The Impossible’, when we were younger and we have been crazy about him since. My sister liked him like crazy as to how cute he was but I liked his acting in the movie but ended up liking him too.”

“Very interesting..” something about him was attracting you, maybe his aura, the charming vibes, you didn’t know, but you were just attracted. But something pinned you, his accent, he had a British accent. Unknowingly, when your eyes met, your heart skipped a beat. It’s him. He was sitting right here. He realized your surprised expression and said, ”You can take a picture now” he chuckled and looking directly at you. Your brain on the other hand was still processing the vital information and the very awesome physique with veiny and beautiful hands and captivating eyes. How could you miss his eyes, those beautiful passion filled dark brown eyes.

“uh..um..h hi, I mean hello nice to meet you, I am Y/N”, ”Tom Holland” he said extending a hand not taking his eyes off of you. It amazed you really, how could he despite being an actor maintain such a down to earth personality. The way he talks, listens to you, waits for your reply and him being in the economy class instead of comfortably sitting in the first class seating arrangements. Wait!?Why was he here?. As if he read your mind and a sudden change in your expression from being flustered to confused. “Too many people, I needed to get out of there and breathe by myself for once. No cameras, no media, no stylists….jus… just plain old me. By the way, my manager is my imposter”, he said with a smirk on his face.

“Oh sure, I can understand that, it can get tiring sometimes. The attention being forced on you that you were never used to it. My parents too, in that way, been out of my life since the very year I turned 1 and suddenly they want meet me and want me to stay with them for a month in Rio. I didn’t want to but my aunt convinced me and I couldn’t say no to her. ”, ”You stayed with your aunt your entire life? Didn’t you miss your parents?” his passionate eyes suddenly changed into concern and pity, “yeah, but she means a lot to me, she was there for all my dance ceremonies, each and every one of my birthday’s , my graduation, she means the world to me so does my sister, she is like my pillar, my support , an annoying one at that.” You said smiling on you lap, and you could feel his gaze softening upon yours. ”my parents, uhh…you can never miss something you never had.” You looked at him again, but this time you could feel and see his gaze on you, watching you and never leaving your eyes.

Both you were so lost in each other that you didn’t realize when the flight had taken off and the snacks table breaking your moment. “Oh it’s been so long already since the plane took off, I didn’t realize we even missed the safety instructions”, you both chuckled at that. “Oh man!, you are really beautiful, really” he said running his hand down his locks and realizing that his tone was a bit too loud, and he meant to keep the compliment to himself. “Sorry?” you asked, despite you pretty much heard it when he said it, you wanted to hear it again.

“uhh..i m..mean your teeth are beautiful.” He realized what he said and his expression was like ‘did I really just say that?’. “I mean your smile is beautiful, Not your teeth..oh wait..I mean your teeth are beautiful too but your smi…” you couldn’t hold you laugh anymore looking at him and his cute ‘war’ with himself. “Thank you, I guess, a lot of people say that about me after I got my braces removed.”

“Oh you had braces? Since when?” “around when I was 15, like every girl wanted to look pretty and wanted boys around her ,so me and my sister had braces for the sake of it, not that I cared about me getting a boyfriend, just for fun”. He seemed to have got stuck on one word, “so you got one?”…”got what?” , “a boyfriend I mean?”. His expression changed and yet again you could feel blood rushing to your cheeks, “I always wanted a crazy guy, who could have something similar to my interests, ‘cause I am not like every other girl in the town, I am into trekking and photography and outdoor activities, not just a girl who likes shopping and who always has to be around people so, my specifications are a bit particular, so I have never had a boyfriend.”

“So, no boyfriend, right?” he asked as if that being the only part he was interested in, or who knows may be he actually was.

After a few hours, you realized you had a lot of things in common and the internet was all wrong about his interests and all. It was like meeting a complete different person, a person whom you have known for the longest time as if you have always been together. You were attracted to him and so was he to you, and you could tell that.

“So what are you doing in Germany? Did you have a shoot here?” you didn’t mind asking because he already had mentioned a lot of stuff that he was not supposed to and also his eyes lit up when he was excited to tell you about some stuff anything at all. “uh..yeah we had to film a segment in Berlin and then we decided to take a break, so I around different places and now we are heading towards the Carnival.” “oh Carnival huh? My aunt says its pretty lively. That was like the main reason why I agreed to go Rio. ”

“so don’t mind me asking, but are you going to be awkward around your parents? Like I know you are not very close to them..” he asked you sincerely concerned with his hands slightly brushing off of yours on the handle of the seat. It’s like he wanted to hold your hand because he knew the weight of his question but he felt like you would disintegerate if he did so. You could feel the same pit around your stomach filled with nervousness that you had forgotten about a for couple hours. “I don’t know, it’s complicated, I don’t know anything about them and also they might have certain expectations about me and what do I do if I do not live up to it. I know we haven’t had a very comfortable story build around us but somehow I don’t wanna disappoint them from my side because they don’t know anything about me like the birthday incident I mentioned about. But I simply don’t want to disappoint because I don’t want my mother, who was never there for me, to question my aunt, who has always been there for me” It’s like you pour the entire timeline of your life in front of Tom and you were scared if he would drift away. “I understand Y/N, but your parents were the ones who planned this trip right?” “yeah they were the ones.” “so that’s it, you know when I have too much on my plate, my manager asks me to take a break and let everything go for sometime. All my meetings and appointments are cancelled because I will ruin them anyway, so there is no point of it. Your situation is kind of similar too, you have had a lot in your life with you parents not being there and now you simply just have to take a break and forget everything for a while because that’s what your aunt wants to you to do.” His hand finally rested upon yours and none of you flinched. It’s as if it’s meant to be.

That being said, you have already arrived in Rio and a beautiful ocean greeted you with open arms and you accepted it with a fresh mind. Tom’s hand still resting over yours and his fingers brushing the upper part of your hand and you look at each other embracing each other’s warmth with your eyes. That’s when you realized that you have fallen for him, not Tom Holland but just him, just Tom.

After the plane landed he was still holding on to you, scared to let go. He was scared to let you go because he cared about you and some fact had gotten him attracted towards you and he was scared to show you his vulnerable side. On the other hand you were scared to let go because you might never see him again. As if he sensed it again, what you were thinking, “I will see you again for sure. Don’t worry.” With a tight squeeze on his hand you let go and say “thank you, I will wait for you.”

“me too.”

You didn’t see him again after departing the flight, he would steal glances out of every opportunity to see you ,lost between the flashes of cameras and cheering, till the last second. The last time you saw him was to murmur something to his manager pointing towards you and that was it, the escalator distanced him from you. But you would still wait..

Outside the gate you could see your parents waiting for you, with Tom’s words in your mind you greeted them with a smile and everything seemed normal, as if they were always with you.

Two weeks later, still no message from Tom.

Claudia bombarded you with messages, when you told her about the entire duration of the flight. You were kind of annoyed with messages cause they were literally somewhere is hundreds. So you decided to ignore her for sometime.

*Ting* some part of you wanted to check that message but the other part of you wanted to go eat pizza because you were really tired from messaging and explaining everything to Claudia over texts. But then you were like *screw it* and you checked the message and…

*unknown number*: I said you were really beautiful Y/N….

A/n- uh..first of all thank you for reading this, cause it like my first post and my first fanfiction so i was a bit skeptical about posting this but fuck it, here it is guys it took me around four hours to complete this and its worth it.

also if you wanna be tagged in this just let me know!!! *uwu face*

lemme know if you want a part 2 of this, because I will gladly include it with improvement of course, love you ppl...

#tomholland #tom holland #tomholland fanfiction #tomhollandxreader #tom holland x reader #actor!tomholland #actorxreader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tomhollandfluff #tomxreader #actor tom holland #actortom #marvel

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janeofcakes · 3 years

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Soulmates: How John Met Sherlock...Again Chapter 8

Hello, my friends! In keeping my word, I am posting tonight to try and stay on schedule after the two-week wait for the last chapter. You may also be pleased to know that this one is more like the usual length.

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Sherlock has just picked up the dish of shepherd’s pie from off the oven shelf when his mobile sounds. He glances to his right pocket with a sharp look and a grumble. He can hear Olive in the loo just turning on the taps to wash up for dinner. Without ceremony, Sherlock lifts the dish quickly and all but throws it on the hot plates situated in the middle of the table. He has learned over time that shepherd’s pie should live on the table while they eat it rather than on the counter. Olive always wants seconds and sometimes thirds, so it is best to have it handy.

With the dish on the table, Sherlock turns back to the counter and tosses the oven mitts onto it while fishing for his mobile. It is a number he does not recognize so not Greg or Mycroft, thank god. That’s all he needs, another conversation with his brother. The birthday party only a few short days ago seems to have opened the floodgate and the meddling sod has phoned Sherlock every day since. An utterly pointless venture, except to annoy Sherlock as Mycroft repeats himself each time. He despises the exercise as much as Sherlock does, which is not completely lost on the detective. His brother obviously considers his words of the utmost importance. Of course, he always does, but this is different. His tone is all wrong and Sherlock cannot help wondering what Mycroft is so afraid of because it can be called nothing else. Pure, skillfully hidden fear. Anger stirs hot in Sherlock’s chest again. Does Mycroft honestly think he would do anything to endanger Olive or the life he has with her? Sherlock is happier than he has ever been and how on earth could having John Watson back in his life jeopardize that?

The mobile sounds once more, coupled with Olive’s voice shouting from the loo to see if he knows it is ringing.

“Yes. Thank you,” Sherlock calls and hastily hits accept before putting the device to his ear. The case had better not be tedious. “Sherlock Holmes.”

He hears a man clear his throat somewhat nervously on the other end and rolls his eyes. Missing spouse who is really having an affair, best friend won’t talk to him and he is worried the man has been kidnapped or… Sherlock’s grey-blue eyes pop open wide. He knows this man. It is there in the timbre of his voice. There is no mistaking it.

“Sherlock,” the voice is hesitant. “Hi.”

“John,” the detective breathes, dropping his left hand to the countertop for support. At that moment, Olive rushes into the room before he can say another word. She wooshes past him and plops down in her chair.

“Shepherd’s pie! I knew it,” she leans over the dish and takes a deep breath. “Oh, it smells so good!”

“Go ahead and start,” Sherlock tells her, covering the phone with his hand. “I’ll be done in a minute.”

“Ok,” Olive reaches for the serving spoon with a huge grin on her face. Sherlock’s lip curls up into a half smile as he pushes through the door into the sitting room and closes it behind.

“Are you having dinner?” John is saying. “I’m sorry. I should’ve picked a better time to call.”

“It’s fine,” Sherlock assures him, staring across the room to the skull on the mantle and the photograph of himself with John that sits next to it. “We were just getting started. It’s no trouble.”

“You’re sure?” John sounds uncertain, but relieved at the same time. “I could phone later.”

“John, it’s fine,” Sherlock repeats with an edge of tension in his voice he hopes John does not notice. He will only misinterpret it as irritation when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sherlock is actually more concerned that John will talk himself out of the phone call and then never call again.

Guard your heart.

Mycroft’s words slam their way into Sherlock’s mind with all the power of a lorry. Clenching his teeth, he pushes them away in favor of listening to his friend.

“All right,” John replies, unaware of the detective’s inner struggle. “I ran into Greg and he gave me your new number. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Sherlock says easily. “I had to change it about a year ago.”

“Yeah, he mentioned that,” John sucks air in through his teeth with a cringe. “Nasty business.”

“It can be, yes,” Sherlock confirms, feeling a bit less edgy. “I should have given you the number myself since the girls are friends.”

“Right,” John agrees and Sherlock can tell he is wetting his lips, readying himself to say something momentous. Sherlock swallows, every synapsis in his brain firing as one thought fills his mind.

Please don’t say Olive and Gracie can be friends, but we should never see each other. I’ve just got you back. Don’t leave me again.

Sherlock slaps the thought down hurriedly, shoves it into an open door in his mind palace and locks it. What he feels right now is exactly what his ass of a brother was referring to when he cautioned him not to open his heart to John again. Sherlock lets out a mirthless huff. As if he ever closed his heart in the first place.

“I wanted to talk to you about that,” John begins. Sherlock can hear him shifting uncomfortably. “If you’re both free on Saturday and the offer to host a playdate still stands, I’d be happy to bring Gracie by. Or we can have it here if you want.”

Sherlock’s mouth drops open and he stares numbly at the mantle, not actually seeing any of the items resting upon it. That was certainly not what he expected John to say, but he’ll take it. Reach out and grab it with both hands, in fact.

“Sherlock?” John asks curiously and Sherlock snaps to attention, wondering how much time passed while he was in his stupor.

“Yes,” he says too quickly, too excitedly and eases back when he continues. “Yes, of course. We would love to have you over. Olive has an endless list of things she wants to show Gracie.”

“I think I’ve heard it,” John lets out a warm laugh.”More than once.”

“Would just after lunch work?” Sherlock asks, a smile slowly taking over his face. This is truly too good to be. “One o’clock?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect,” John answers pleasantly. “We’ll be there.”

“I look forward to it,” Sherlock tells him, “and I know Olive will be overjoyed.”

“Oh, yeah,” John chuckles. “If you hear a far away explosion in the next few minutes, don’t worry. It’ll just be Gracie finding out.”

Sherlock laughs heartily and so easily it nearly surprises him. It feels good to laugh with John again. Astonishingly good.

“We’ll see you in a couple of days then,” John says in what can only be described as fond. “Good night, Sherlock.”

“Good night, John,” Sherlock ends the call and stays where he is, just breathing in and out. His heart is full and its warmth is running through his entire body. He is glowing with the feel of it.

Guard your heart.

It is already too late and Sherlock cannot be bothered to care. Not in the slightest. With a skip in his step, he turns for the kitchen and strides in to tell Olive the new plans for Saturday.

***

John and Gracie had set off as soon as they finished washing up after lunch. The walk from their flat to Baker Street isn’t far at all, but the clouds and rain saw them away in a taxi. The ride was pleasant enough, Gracie telling John for the umpteenth time what she and Olive had planned. The girl didn’t stop once to take a breath and John couldn’t stop smiling. Unfortunately, things all changed as soon as he paid the cabbie and turned to face the old building that was once his home.

John stands agog as the cab pulls away. Everything is exactly the same. Speedy’s is as busy as ever, every window has the same curtains so far as John can tell, and the door is still dark and imposing over the short step up to it. An image of a younger Sherlock Holmes standing on it flashes before John’s eyes and he sees himself limp over to the detective to shake hands. John blinks and the memory is gone as quickly as it came.

Feeling a light tug on his hand, John looks down to Gracie as she fidgets and angles her head toward the door. John nods, squares his shoulders and marches up to the door. The name plates are just as he had left them. M. Hudson. S. Holmes. John stares at the names, frozen in time. A thousand memories come unbidden, but not the cases as one would expect. Moments in the flat when they were alone. Sherlock working on countless experiments, John finding body parts in the fridge, blogging, reading, eating breakfast together, that time Sherlock covered John’s hand with his own and John was sure he saw something in the detective’s eyes before he turned away. John sees every detail in his mind’s eye as each one drifts around him, stories from a past life coming back into focus.

“Dad,” Gracie’s voice whispers through the haze and John blinks himself back to the present, his face wet with raindrops. He turns his head away from the door to see his daughter watching him with a curious expression. “Aren’t you going to knock?”

“Erm, of course. Yes, I was just…” John trails off, thinking of all the times he had let himself in and trotted up the stairs after a shift at the surgery to find Sherlock playing his violin or bent over an experiment or good god, tolerating Mycroft and his patronizing smirks. John cocks his head in thought, a warm feeling spreading throughout his body. Sherlock really had refused his brother’s information for all these years. He could have known everything from day one, but chose to give John his privacy. No, that wasn’t the only reason. It was too painful. That’s what Sherlock had said in the park. John’s heart squeezes in his chest at the thought of causing his best friend’s pain.

“Dad,” Gracie repeats, her tone impatient and bordering on irritable. “Dad, it’s raining and I’m starting to get really wet.”

“Right. Yes,” John remarks, knocking on the door swiftly and efficiently.

They only wait a moment before the door swings open to reveal Martha Hudson in a light blue dress. Her hair has gone nearly entirely grey and a few more lines have found their way onto her face, but John would know her anywhere. Mrs. Hudson’s every feature brightens as soon as she lays eyes on John, a smile of genuine delight on her lips.

“Hello, John,” she greets warmly and presses a kiss to his cheek.

“Hello, Mrs. Hudson,” John replies thickly, realizing only at that moment how much he had missed her.

“It’s wonderful to see you,” Mrs. Hudson tells him and then looks down at his daughter. “And this must be Gracie. Olive’s told me so much about you.”

“She has?” Gracie asks, her excitement oozing from every pore.

“Oh, yes, definitely,” Mrs. Hudson declares, stepping aside. “Come in, come in. She’s been waiting for you all morning. Why don’t you go right on up?”

Gracie’s awed eyes follow the woman’s gesture all the way up the seventeen steps and they all three hear a clatter from the top. There is a muffled voice shouting ‘They’re here! They’re here!’ and Olive’s thumping footsteps scamper across the floor above. She throws open the door to 221B and jumps out onto the landing. Both girls squeal and start on the stairs, meeting halfway in a rib-crushing hug.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’re finally here,” Olive gasps. “I’ve been waiting forever!”

“I know. I know!” Gracie’s voice is on the verge of a shout barely reigned in. The two girls separate and just look at each other, their bodies trembling with pure joy. Olive grabs Gracie’s hand and jumps up a step.

“Come on! You have to see our new experiment,” she darts up the stairs and Gracie follows right on her heels.

John and Mrs. Hudson watch them run and disappear into the flat above. John looks back at the older woman with an apologetic smile.

“I’d better get up after her,” he says with a quiet laugh. He turns and puts one foot on the first stair when a strong grip around his forearm stops him. He glances at her hand and then meets the kind, brown eyes of his former landlady. Mrs. Hudson’s expression is soft and wise as she silently studies the doctor. Enough time passes that John begins to wonder exactly what she sees, as well as what she’s looking for. After another long moment passes, the corners of her mouth turn up into a sweet smile and she gives his arm a squeeze.

“I’m glad you’re here, John,” she says tenderly. She glances up the stairs and nods. “He hasn’t stopped talking about this since you phoned. Cleaned the whole flat himself.”

“Himself?” John muses with raised browns. “Now that is something.”

They share a chuckle. Mrs. Hudson squeezes his arm again.

“He has changed so much, John,” she tells him in a motherly tone.

“So I’ve heard,” John replies with a touch of dismissiveness that she picks up on immediately.

“I’ll not have that tone, young man,” Mrs. Hudson chides sternly. “Not about my boy.”

“I’m hardly a young man,” John tries to reclaim the jovial mood, but gets nowhere.

“You went through so much before you left,” the older woman interrupts as if John said nothing. “No one could blame you, but he’s not the same man who did those things, who left you behind.”

“All right. Fine,” John mutters tersely, shifting his weight impatiently and glancing up the stairs before looking at her again. “What would you have me do? Just forget it all and pretend it never happened?”

“No,” Mrs. Hudson answers, her brow furrowed. “Just give him a chance. That’s all. You think you know him, but you don’t.”

John huffs a mirthless laugh and tilts his head back a fraction to look up at the ceiling, trying to hold his temper.

“You’ve seen him with Olive,” Mrs. Hudson continues on and John lowers his gaze to meet hers, already understanding. “Is that the man you knew?”

“No,” John concedes after a long pause. Sherlock hadn’t minded children and seemed to enjoy talking to them, but by his own admission it was only because they hadn’t learned enough to be as stupid as adults. What Sherlock has with Olive is genuine love and adoration, pure and simple. Even just that tells John his friend is very different these days.

John presses his lips together in a physical manifestation of tamping down his curiosity and all the questions rolling through his mind in a loop. Who is Jessie? Where did they meet? Are they married? John’s eyes widen, nerves on the rise and his heart in his throat. He fights not to look up the stairs as every muscle grows tense. He will surely meet Jessie today as soon as he enters his former flat. Suddenly those seventeen steps look like hundreds.

“Are you going to stay at all?” Mrs. Hudson’s gentle voice breaks the spell of his slight panic, bringing him back to where he stands at the bottom of the stairs.

“What? No,” John answers quickly, feeling flustered and trying not to show it. Judging by Mrs. Hudson’s empathetic smile, he has failed miserably. “I mean, I hadn’t planned on it. I have some errands.”

John had, in fact, thought he might stay for a bit and suggest tea if Sherlock did not. It seemed like the best way to assess the possibility of renewing their friendship. Now the idea of Jessie being there has John striking it from the schedule. He and Sherlock have so much history and not all of it is good. Surely Sherlock must have told Jessie enough that she will want to keep him as far from the detective as possible. Lestrade had said Sherlock was a shell of his former self until Jessie came into his life. Why would she let John hurt him again when she could protect him?

“Of course, dear. I understand,” Mrs. Hudson finally releases John’s arm, “but maybe just for tea? He’s honestly just as excited as Olive, though he’d never admit it.”

“Yeah,” John’s voice is light and he exhales a breath he had not realized he was holding. He can’t believe the words are passing through his lips even as he says, “Sure. It’ll be good to talk for a bit. I...have missed him.”

John surprises himself with the admission. He might have known Mrs. Hudson would get the truth out of him one way or another. The clever woman smiles, pats his arm and heads for her own flat.

“Stop by when you and Gracie are on your way out,” she disappears into the doorway and then peeks around the frame with only one hand and her head in John’s line of vision. “I have biscuits for you.”

John laughs quietly at her teasing voice and saucy grin.

“I could never refuse you anything, Mrs. Hudson. You know that,” he remarks with an answering grin.

“Oh, I know, dear,” comes Mrs. Hudson’s sly tone as she disappears again.

Left alone, John turns his attention to the stairs, his eyes following them all the way up to the landing. He exhales deeply, steeling himself for what lies beyond.

“Come on then, Watson,” he mumbles to himself, taking the first stair. “Once more into the breach.”

When John reaches the landing and walks through the open door to 221B, his normal pace slows abruptly.The flat is bright and cheerful in a way it certainly never was when he lived here. The skull is still on the mantle and Sherlock’s desk in the corner of the sitting room. There is a different telly, but it’s in the same place. All of the furniture and area rugs are new, except for Sherlock’s favorite leather chair and…

John stops. Everything stops. He doesn’t even hear Gracie and Olive’s giggles. Something in John’s chest that he had locked up tightly breaks open, spreading warmth and a comforting sort of tingle through his body. His lips part and he mutters quietly to himself in wonder.

“Oh, John,” Sherlock’s voice startles him out of his reverie and he turns to see the detective entering from the kitchen with the girls fast on his heels. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming up.”

The detective’s appearance and gait betray nothing, but his eyes sparkle like the night sky. It is dazzling. John closes his mouth and blinks. Wetting his lips, he shoots for casual.

“No, sorry. I was having a word with Mrs. Hudson,” John says, knowing he isn’t quite pulling it off.

“Or she had a word with you,” Sherlock counters with a playful smirk and something in John’s chest pops. Ten years is a long time to wait for that face. John didn’t even know he had been waiting and hoping until the exact moment he saw it. His mind is awash with memories once again, of stolen glances and brushing fingers never spoken of, but always noticed.

“Dad! Dad, I just got the full tour!” Gracie hoots at her stunned father. “This place is great and there’s even a cool experiment in the kitchen.”

“I still need to show you my room,” Olive declares, her whole face the very pinnacle of happiness.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Gracie chants, jumping up and down. “I want to see it all!”

“Gracie,” John scolds, even as they run for the stairs to the second level, “be courteous, please.”

“Ok, Dad,” his daughter calls back in the voice she uses when she isn’t paying attention. John sighs and turns to see Sherlock’s amused smile.

“She’s fine,” the detective waves a hand dismissively and then sobers as a thought occurs. “I assure you that the flat is quite safe. The experiment we’re conducting contains no harmful materials.”

“I know,” John replies with a shrug. “You’d never allow anything that might be dangerous.”

Sherlock’s lips curve up, but he makes no other acknowledgement. John finds himself at a loss for words. He has so many questions that he should let Sherlock answer himself, but he can’t just start blurting them out with the girls up in his old room where they could burst in at any moment. Sherlock looks as though he is about to speak, but John beats him to it, suddenly compelled to break the silence.

“She’s beautiful, Sherlock, really. She looks just like you,” John almost whispers, not caring at all that he essentially just said the same about Sherlock.

“Thank you,” Sherlock murmurs, somewhat taken aback. He regroups swiftly and gestures toward the kitchen. John’s eyes follow, his mind convinced Jessie will be standing in the doorway awaiting an introduction, but he sees no one. “Do you have a moment to spare for tea?”

“Uh, I have some errands, but yeah,” John says as disappointment flashes through his mind only to be chased away just as quickly as it came. Sherlock offered him tea. John didn’t even have to hint around it as he had planned in the cab. Mrs. Hudson was right. The detective is willing to open the door again. “I’d like that.”

“Good. That’s good,” Sherlock perks up. “Have a seat and I’ll bring it out.”

“No need to be so formal,” John replies, walking in the direction of the detective and the kitchen door behind him. “Let’s just do it in the kitchen. I don’t mind.”

Sherlock’s lip curls and he steps aside, stretching his arm toward the door.

“Be my guest,” he says knowingly and follows as John walks by.

Ten minutes later and the two men are sitting at the small kitchen table, mugs of steaming tea in hand. John opted for mugs and Sherlock had even remembered that John takes it with a splash of milk. John lets a quick breath out through his nose in place of a short laugh as he considers the man in front of him. Of course he remembers. He could probably tell from the way John tied his shoes or something.

“You’ve redone the kitchen,” John begins once they are settled. His smile grows when muffled giggles drift down from the floor above. John’s eyes look fondly upward and then back to Sherlock, who nods as he takes the mug from his lips and swallows.

“Four years ago, yes,” Sherlock fills in the blanks. “Minor explosion. Olive was not home.”

He says the last four words sternly, his face deadly serious and expecting a lecture, but John just rests his chin in his own hand and watches Sherlock with a contented gaze.

“I like it,” the doctor says simply.

“Thank you,” Sherlock clears his throat, thrown off by the unexpected response and John smiles behind his hand. “I’ll be sure to tell Olive. She was instrumental in its design.”

“You two work well together,” John says, racking his brain for some way to include Jessie without sounding like he’s being nosy.

“So do you and Gracie,” Sherlock offers sincerely and suddenly John wants to change the subject. He can tell Sherlock is going to apologize again for not knowing about Rosie and John really doesn’t want to have that conversation. He shifts in his seat and raises his own mug to his lips.

“So Greg and Mycroft?” John inquires before taking a drink. “I wouldn’t have predicted that one.”

“The last ten years have brought a good many surprises,” Sherlock responds with a chuckle. “Even my brother hadn’t anticipated that.”

“How did they even meet?” John asks, his curiosity getting the better of him.”Mycroft usually avoided everyone, especially police.”

“Olive’s first birthday party,” Sherlock says rather smugly. “I knew neither would refuse.”

“Sherlock Holmes,” John declares with an incredulous grin that makes the detective smile inquisitively, “you set them up. You’re a matchmaker.”

Without hesitation, they both burst out laughing and don’t stop for a good minute. It feels so good to laugh with his best friend again. His best friend. John hasn’t thought of Sherlock that way for years and yet, somehow he never stopped. It’s true to this day. Even with the other friends he has made, no matter how close, Sherlock has always been the best and closest one. Now that John and Gracie are back in London, maybe Sherlock could be again.

“Not so much,” Sherlock comments, his laughter devolving into giggles. John is so taken aback by the way Sherlock seems to be responding to his thoughts that the smile he wears freezes on his face and his eyes begin to widen in panic as John tries to remember what they were talking about.

“I mostly wanted them to meet because I was tired of Greg asking me about my ‘invisible brother’,” Sherlock sets John’s mind at ease as he continues speaking, “and don’t get me started on Mycroft’s thinly veiled insinuations.”

“So you just wanted them to stop bothering you,” John sums up, “and they ended up together instead?”

“They took their time about it too,” Sherlock tells him with disgust. “Three years I had to endure incessant conversation. ‘Should I ask him out, Sherlock? Is he even interested in that? What does he think of me? We had a really good time at dinner.’ And that was just Greg.”

“Mycroft,” John begins slowly, his voice flat. “Asked you. About Greg?”

“Oh god, it was detestable,” Sherlock all but moans and John has a hard time hiding a smile. The detective catches sight of it anyway and grumbles a low sound from deep in his chest. “I don’t do feelings.”

“Don’t you?” John counters instantly, not believing the man’s snarl for a minute. Sherlock meets John’s steady gaze and his expression softens as unspoken understanding passes between them. Sherlock presses his lips together and suddenly looks younger, a touch vulnerable. John sees the man who looked at him the same way all those years ago on their first case when John said he didn’t have to use his imagination to know what he would say when about to die.

“I have limits,” Sherlock snarks, pulling John from the past. The detective schools his face to match the topic again and reaches for a biscuit. “My brother’s emotional awakening extends far beyond them, I assure you.”

“I believe it,” John smirks as he takes a drink.

“I fail to see the humor in this, John,” Sherlock glowers, but there is no heat in it and his lips turn up the longer he looks at John. Unable to stop himself from imagining Sherlock rolling his eyes and covering his ears as Mycroft waxes poetic about Greg, John descends into giggles. Sherlock gives him a withering look, but the corners of his mouth begin turning up of their own accord again and his own giggles soon join John’s. A minute later both men are laughing outright. John wipes at his eyes as the snorts begin to fade.

“I didn’t even realize Greg was gay,” he says absently.

Sherlock’s chuckles stop abruptly and John looks at him apprehensively, knowing his mistake immediately and kicking himself.

“He isn’t,” the detective tells him sharply. “He’s bisexual.”

“Right,�� John swallows thickly, cursing himself for being such an idiot.

A moment of awkward silence passes while Sherlock sips from his mug and John looks down at his own, contemplating what to say. Coming up with nothing, he reaches for the biscuits with a silent inquiry on his face and Sherlock waves a hand in answer. John plucks one up and pops it in his mouth.

“Mm,” John hums with enthusiasm. “Mrs. Hudson is still an expert.”

“Actually, Olive and I made them,” Sherlock corrects and then says without thinking: “It’s Jessie’s recipe.”

He stops abruptly, mouth still open and fixes a penetrating but uneasy gaze on John. The doctor stares back. This is exactly the topic he is most curious about and the focus of nearly all his questions, but he suddenly doesn’t want to talk about it. He looks into those grey-blue eyes, deep and full of emotion, and he can’t. He can’t ask, can’t know. Not right now.

“John…” Sherlock starts in. John knows what he is going to say and he can’t bear it.

“Oh, god,” John interrupts, looking at his watch. “It’s been an hour. I really have to do those errands.”

He all but leaps out of his seat and bolts for the kitchen door, pausing only a moment to look back at his speechless friend. Sherlock has risen as well, but stands in place.

“Do you need any help?” John gestures to the table. “I can wash up.”

“No, it’s fine,” Sherlock’s voice is uncertain as though he has done something wrong and John’s chest squeezes painfully.

“All right. Ok,” John’s own voice is full of tension. He doesn’t even sound like himself. He fists his hands at his sides for lack of anything else to do with them. “I’ll be back at...four? Four thirty?”

“Four thirty is fine,” Sherlock replies, sounding more resigned now. “I’ll make sure they have a healthy snack in a bit.”

Feeling like a complete idiot, John mutters his thanks and rushes from the flat without another word.

***

When John returns, it is nearly five o’clock. Tesco had been a madhouse and at least one person in every aisle was intolerable. He had texted Sherlock around four fifteen to say he would be a little late and received a response of ‘no problem’ almost immediately. Marching up the stairs to the flat, he still feels a bit guilty. Mrs. Hudson let him in the building and then rushed back to her flat to check on a cake in the oven. Small mercies, not making the walk of shame back up to 221B under her watchful eyes.

John turns to the door to Sherlock’s flat when he reaches the landing and knocks with the hand carrying only one light-weight bag. He will give it to Gracie for the trip home so he has only the two heavier ones to contend with. He hears footsteps nearing the door soon enough and Sherlock looks at him a bit oddly after opening it. His grey-blue eyes clearly ask why John didn’t just walk in, but then shift in recognition as if reminding himself that John is a guest rather than a resident.

The detective steps aside and directs John to place his bags on a bench near the door. John smiles to himself when he sees the line of eight year old shoes next to three pairs of Sherlock’s posh shoes. He still wears it when he turns around to follow Sherlock into the sitting room. John stops next to the couch while Sherlock goes to the bottom of the stairs.

“Olive, Gracie,” Sherlock calls. “John is here.”

“Ok,” his daughter replies.

Sherlock turns back to John and begins approaching the couch.

“They’ll just be a minute. I asked them to clean up a bit once you got here,” Sherlock explains and then gestures to the furniture. “Please, have a seat.”

“Ta,” John says automatically and sits on the couch, leaving room for Sherlock. John’s stomach flips when the detective sits next to him. His palms are sweaty and his pulse steps up its pace, but John tries not to show it. He’s being ridiculous.

“I hope she behaved herself,” John comments with a quiet laugh, resisting the temptation to wipe his hands on his jeans.

“She was wonderful,” Sherlock answers with an expression that says John had nothing to worry. “They kept themselves busy all afternoon. I only saw them at snack time and then they were right back at it. They get along so well.”

“Good. That’s good,” John says a little stiffly. What is wrong with him? He is tense and apprehensive and has no reason to be. Just because he ran from his friend as fast as he could when he left a few hours earlier doesn’t mean he should be uncomfortable now. Sherlock probably thought nothing of it. John sighs internally, wanting to roll his eyes. That is the single stupidest thought to pass through his mind all day.

“John,” Sherlock’s silky voice draws John’s attention, as always.

“Hm?” he hums, looking at his friend and trying not to give away every thought in his head with just one glance.

“We have a lot to talk about,” Sherlock tells him softly. John’s brows arch toward his hairline and his lips part in mild surprise. He is not entirely sure what Sherlock is referring to, but it can’t be what John thinks he means, what John increasingly wants it to mean.

“The girls have grown quite close in only a short time,” the detective continues. “They’re already planning a sleepover.”

“Oh,” John releases the breath he had been holding. He had not anticipated that, but should have. He nods in understanding, feeling both relieved and disappointed in equal measure. “I should’ve known they’d make that leap right out the gate.”

“Indeed,” Sherlock wets his lips, drawing John’s eyes and damn it if he can’t drag the traitorous little bastards away from that cupid’s bow. John is sure Sherlock notices, but he spares John the embarrassment of saying anything. “John, are you free for dinner next Saturday evening?”

“What?” John stumbles over the word like an idiot. He can’t have heard that right. Dinner? With Sherlock? With him? Then it dawns on him. Sherlock wants to introduce him to Jessie over dinner where there won’t be interruptions significant enough to pull them away. “Yeah. I don’t have plans. It’ll be easy enough to have Candace watch Gracie for the night.”

“Good,” Sherlock’s lips quirk up. “I’m glad. I...I have a lot to tell you.”

Before John can reply or even put much thought into the implications of that sentence, Gracie and Olive clatter down the stairs and bound into the room. The young blonde is at John’s side in seconds, hugging him and bubbling over about all she has to tell him.

Surrounded by constant chatter, John and Sherlock rise and all four walk to the door where Gracie pulls on her coat and shoes. Both she and John thank Sherlock and Olive for everything and then make their way down to Mrs. Hudson. She meets them in the foyer with a tin of biscuits, which they put in Gracie’s grocery bag. Thanking her as they head out the door, Mrs. Hudson waves goodbye with promises to see them again as though there was never any doubt of their return.

Once the door to the building is closed and John and Gracie are on the pavement, a cab appears seemingly from nowhere. John eyes the driver suspiciously for a moment, wondering if he is really one of Mycroft’s lackeys before dismissing the notion. He opens the door with the hand holding the lighter of his two bags and piles in with his daughter. John gives their address to the man and sits back in his seat just in time to hear his mobile ping with a text.

7 o’clock?

John can’t help the smile that blooms on his face as he types an affirmative response.

“What does that mean?” Gracie asks, reading over his shoulder. John looks down at her curious face as he pockets the mobile.

“Olive’s dad and I are going to meet for dinner next Saturday,” John tells her. “So that means Candace will stay over and put you to bed.”

“Yay!” Gracie exclaims. “She promised to play Cluedo the next time she stays over.”

“Well, I hope the two of you discover it was the doctor in the lounge with the lead pipe before it’s too late,” John jokes, wrapping his arm around his little girl and pulling her close.

“Dad,” Gracie laughs with an eye roll and hugs him.

The cab ride home is not long at all and the Watsons joke with one another all the way to their doorstep.

---

A new chapter coming with promises of dinner, Jane, and you make us wait? Gah! I may not be torturing you with the angst of my other works, but I hope to still have to on the edge of your seats. Thank you, thank you one and all for your support and love. Love, Jane

@johnlock-rocks

#Sherlock Holmes #Sherlock #sherlockholmes #sherlock loves john #sherlock fanfic #john watson #johnwatson #johnlock #Johnlock fanfic #John loves Sherlock #Mystrade

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ninastarkov · 4 years

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Ahsoka and the clones:

Rex and Ahsoka edition

Part 2

Hey guys! This is the third post in a series about Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones (here’s the one on ahsoka and the clones, minus Rex and ahsoka). I talk about what we know in canon/what’s reasonably predicted off that, what the fandom has decided, and my own takes.

It might make more sense to read my part 1 post before this one, for an analysis of their friendship in the movie through season 3! On this one I’ll go through seasons 4, 5 and 7, though obviously season 7 will have the most. Anyway, here we go!

Referencing my last post, I see them as going from mentor-student to friends and equals to family. I’ve established them as equals by the end of season 3–Ahsoka has grown a lot from that snippy 14 year old padawan, and Rex has grown to trust her. By the end of season 7 I see them as found family (i’m sorry found family is just. my favorite.)

Season 4

Ok, Ahsoka and Rex pretty much don’t interact AT ALL in season 4. But...umbara. Though Ahsoka isn’t actually present for umbara, her (and anakin’s) influence on the 501st, and the contrast between them and krell, is clear to see. I think his relationship with Anakin has just as much of an impact with what happened on umbara, but since this post is about Rex and ahsoka i’m not going to focus on Anakin.

Also WOW umbara is long but I like the points I made so get ready:

Rex has spent the whole war under Anakin, and most of it under Ahsoka. Anakin can get angry and Ahsoka can be immature especially early on and they’re both headstrong idiots sometimes, but they’re good people who care deeply for their troops. Krell is everything Anakin and Ahsoka are not. The relationship that Rex has with them is part of what makes it so hard for him to go against Krell (the other, probably bigger part being his conditioning into seeing Jedi as authority figures to always follow). Ahsoka has shown that she’s willing to die for them, with the geonosis mission, and that she mourns their deaths, with ryloth. And while not explicitly shown in canon, most of us agree that she tries to connect with her troops. Krell shares none of these traits that Rex has gotten used to seeing in his Jedi. Rex believes that the Jedi are good, and trusts them to make hard decisions to get to victory. Krell breaks this trust, and I have to think that this would have long-term consequences on his relationships with Jedi in general, and Anakin and ahsoka specifically. We aren’t shown the aftermath of umbara in the show (which is one of my biggest complaints but,, off topic), but we can’t expect such a fundamental break in trust to not have its effect on all of the 501st and their Jedi. I would say that Ahsoka probably had to build up a lot of trust (that had previously existed between them) with Rex again after umbara. And since their relationship in the show doesn’t seem to change much afterward, I could guess that Ahsoka spent a lot of time trying to help Rex and the 501st cope and trust their Jedi again (also, I’ve read some fics about ahsoka helping the troopers through the aftermath of umbara and now I believe that had to have happened for their relationship to return to what it was before).

So, at least in my opinion, after umbara Rex is less likely to place complete trust in ahsoka (though he probably hates that he can’t). Also, remember me talking about them being equals by now? Yeah, another thing Krell breaks. Ahsoka sees Rex as an equal, though technically she outranks him. She looks past the rank and sees the person (the person with more experience than her). Krell is, again, the opposite. He literally sees clones as fundamentally inferior to himself, and that dehumanization that Rex faced had to have had an effect on his own self-worth. Being constantly degraded by a figure that Rex thinks he’s supposed to see as an authority to follow, probably means that afterward his own sense of self-worth would have gone down significantly—nevermind the guilt he feels over waiting to take action against Krell. So, though Ahsoka still sees Rex as an equal, it’s complicated for Rex. For one, he’s lost trust in the Jedi, so the respect towards ahsoka purely because of her Jedi status is diminished. On the other hand, I think his opinion of himself has gone down. It’s a complicated dynamic, now. However, by this point in the war, I really think that Rex and ahsoka see each other as family (I see Ahsoka’s family including Rex and some of the older 501st like Jesse and Kix and anyone can Fight Me On This but ANYWAY). As fellow soldiers or even friends, I think the trust between them would have been permanently damaged. But as family, Rex knows ahsoka, knows that even though he’s lost some faith in the Jedi, she will never be like Krell, or even other Jedi like Quinlan Vos who aren’t literally evil but aren’t good towards the clones either. And on Ahsoka’s side, she’s going to do anything she can to help her family through the aftermath of umbara, even as a Jedi.

I think most of the aftermath is resolved between umbara and Onderon, but zygerria was. there. Rex and obi wan were slaves for an unknown amount of time. This part hurts, but I would guess that in Rex’s time there he was forced to confront some hard truths about the role of the clones in the war. They’re all proud to fight for the republic, but that doesn’t change the fact that they don’t have a choice. I think this also sets the stage for that big conversation between Rex and ahsoka after maul is captured in season 7 (“we clones have mixed feelings about the war”), where they discuss their own feelings about the war and how it’s affected them. (Also I know that most of what I just said is about Rex and not really ahsoka, but his changing viewpoints are really important in their dynamic).

Season 5

By Onderon, I think Rex and Ahsoka’s relationship is mostly back to normal (equals), and any trust lost has been repaired (not counting Rex’s permanent disillusionment(?) with the Jedi). It’s literally only them plus Anakin and obi wan oh the mission, and it seems like they’re having a good time (as much as you can in a war zone). I point out Onderon because it’s the last time they’re together before the Wrong Jedi arc.

And now...the wrong Jedi. Hearing that Ahsoka killed clones during her escape HAD to have shaken Rex. A lot. There was definitely a moment where he thought back to umbara and Krell. But Rex also chased ahsoka outside the prison, and saw that she did nothing to harm the people coming after her—in fact, went out of her way to avoid it. I think Rex was definitely struggling with himself here—his experiences with Krell would have him believe that ahsoka is capable of this, but his bond with her would have him think the opposite. Overall, in my opinion there was a moment when Rex believed it to be true (due to umbara), but I think he would have rejected the idea relatively quickly because he knows ahsoka (they’re FAMILY and she wouldn’t hurt his brothers!).

Then ahsoka is cleared but leaves the Jedi. Leaves the 501st. I don’t think that she talks to Rex or any Jedi after she leaves the temple, which means she’s out of contact for months. Rex gets a second hand account of what happened through Anakin, and knowing anakin’s anger and pain over the situation, I can’t imagine he wanted to talk about it much. So Rex probably gets told that ahsoka was cleared but isn’t coming back. (Honestly I really don’t know how this would go down but i’m leaning towards an angry Anakin giving as little explanation as possible because he doesn’t want to talk about it). Add this to what I talked about in my first post on ahsoka and the clones, how maul gleans from Jesse that the Jedi abandoned her—meaning this was Jesse’s view of what happened—this probably means that her family in the 501st blamed the council for abandoning her and didn’t blame her for leaving. This also fits with the welcome she recieves in season 7. So even though Ahsoka left, Rex still holds the same respect for her (or more, even), and still considers her family. And even though ahsoka felt she had to leave the Jedi, I doubt she ever blamed the troopers for coming after her, so she still sees Rex as family.

Season 7

Skipped season six since...no ahsoka, obviously. Just keep in mind Fives’ arc (😭😭). Also, Anakin changes. He’s still a good person, a good general, but i’m assuming Rex notices he’s more angry and a little more distant than before. They all miss their favorite padawan commander :((

NOW, Old Friends Not Forgotten:

the LOOK on Ahsoka’s face when she sees all the troopers with their helmets painted...*single tear*. Rex looks so happy to see her, and of course ahsoka is glad to see him too, but there’s clearly a large part of her that’s shocked she’s getting such a warm welcome. I think she was worried that the Rex and the troopers would think she abandoned them (and a part of herself thinks that as well). But obviously, Rex doesn’t feel that way (“you don’t have to call me commander anymore” “ok, commander”). And the helmet paint!! You can tell Rex is worried she won’t like it bc he says something like “oh the paint job is a bit messy but we hope we got the point across.” But of course ahsoka understands they’re trying to honor her, and is grateful. AND! Armor painting is such an important way for all the clones to show their individuality, and they gave that up for her (even if Rex and Jesse went back to their original paint). And back to that little moment where he calls her commander—ahsoka says “you don’t have to call me commander anymore.” I think this was her guilt at leaving showing itself, and hints to us that she thinks she’s not worthy of that title. This may be more of a stretch, but she didn’t say “i’m not a commander anymore,” she said “you don’t have to call me commander anymore.” Maybe there’s some larger guilt about her role in a republic that doesn’t care for the ones that fight and die for it. Also a stretch but I think this alludes to the fact that they see each other as equals—though technically ahsoka was a commander and Rex a captain, they were a team. Now that Ahsoka’s no longer part of the GAR, Rex doesn’t have to call her commander, doesn’t have to keep to the strict rules of authority. Instead he can have her back as a friend, as family. And when Rex calls her commander anyway, it shows his continued respect for her, not because he has to respect her as a superior and Jedi, but because she’s earned his respect through her actions.

And MOST IMPORTANTLY, Rex smiles more in this one episode than probably the entire rest of the show combined?!? We get the small happy moments, when Ahsoka doesn’t need a jetpack and races Rex to the ground (and he LAUGHS—i’m pretty sure that the only time Rex has actually laughed was in the movie in response to ahsoka, and in that ep). And once they reach mandalore, “some things never change”—they’ve returned immediately to their old dynamic. Honestly I think that one line sums up a lot of their relationship in season 7 and afterward, all the way to rebels. They may spend a lot of time apart (15 YEARS WHY), but they will always be family—that will never change.

This part is based on a picture from the ep I saw once, never to be found again (and I tried looking through the old friends ep but I can’t find the shot where you can see this), but i’m pretty sure there’s one moment in one of the episodes where you can see tally marks on Ahsoka’s bracers. She HAD to have picked that up from Rex, idk I just thought it was a nice thing to point out (unless I’m remembering the image wrong lol in that case ignore this paragraph).

Next, after Ahsoka meets with the council and doesn’t tell them about what Maul said about Anakin. Rex calls her out on it, and she doesn’t give a reason why she didn’t, but we can all guess. Anakin is probably the person she is closest to, and is the reason that she didn’t believe Maul’s claims. She probably didn’t want to tell anyone about what Maul said, because she would never believe Anakin would fall (😭). But she told Rex. This is a HUGE example of how much she trusts him, because she trusted him with this terrible information about her closest family. The only other person she had planned to talk to was Anakin, obviously. Yes, part of the reason why she didn’t tell the council was because she knew they could be...less than sensible...at times when they suspected a Jedi of using the dark side, like with her farce of a trial. (Sidenote, when Mace calls ahsoka “citizen” and Rex makes a face lol). I just. This is probably one of my favorite moments with them of the whole show? The amount of trust Ahsoka has to have in Rex to tell him that Anakin is being groomed to be a Sith Lord. I want to connect this back to all those years ago on Maridun(?) with aayla and Bly, when she trusts Rex to stay behind with injured Anakin while she goes with everyone else to find help. Ahsoka has trusted Rex with Anakin from basically the beginning, and such a long time of trust is necessary for her to tell him about Maul’s words.

Ok, now we have what you’ve been dreading waiting for...Shattered. Right before the Horrible Moment, Ahsoka gets a sort-of vision about what’s up in coruscant with Anakin and palpatine—and her immediate reaction is to run to Rex to tell him about it. Again, TRUST. There’s not even a second thought about whether to tell him or not, showing that Rex is the one person she feels she can always confide in. Of course, she doesn’t get to tell him.

First off, there were two things that saved ahsoka. One was her bond with Rex, that bought her time to react, which is what I’ll talk about. The other was Rex’s knowledge of what happened to fives and the chips. I’m not going to discuss that much in this post but just disclaimer that I view that as just as important in her survival (I think @gffa made a post on these two things which I wholly agree with and i’m sorry if i’m wrong and it was someone else that made that post!!)

Anyway. After the original Wrinkly Old Man tells Rex to execute the order, Rex is able to fight it for long enough to buy Ahsoka time to prepare, and give her the information that will save both of their lives (“Find him...Fives!”). You can see that he’s fighting so hard against the order, though in the end it wins out. He turns to face Ahsoka and he’s CRYING!!! I don’t have much analysis here because what happens in the show really says it all—ahsoka is his family, he doesn’t want to kill her. But once the chip takes over, Rex is gone.

On Ahsoka’s end, of course she knows something’s up. She knows Rex would never try to kill her, even if he was ordered to. That one line she says to Maul when she sets him free says everything about how lost she is (the clones turned against me. Even Rex.”). The latter statement isn’t meant for maul, since of course he doesn’t know much about Rex or their friendship (besides what he may have gotten from Jesse). This is all ahsoka trying to figure out what the hell was happening—because she could believe the clones turned against her, maybe. After her trial, after Brain Invaders, it’s probably easier to. But even Rex. Going back to what I said about the wrong Jedi arc, I think that Rex believed ahsoka to be innocent. Even in that arc, Rex was on her side. But this time, he wasn’t.

And then ahsoka finds out about fives and the chips. The holo of her that one of the droids plays to Rex before they knock him out makes me so sad. Ahsoka had to know that the Rex that was under the order wouldn’t listen to what she was saying in the holo, so i’m thinking that (besides a distraction) her words were meant for Rex to remember after the removed his chip—one more reassurance that it wasn’t his fault.

And here’s my thoughts on the chanting “I am one with the force and the force is with me,” as they try to find the chip in Rex’s head. Ahsoka had to have created some kind of connection between them for him to be saying these words with her—while unconscious AND still under the order. I know next to nothing about force bonds and the technical stuff, but it seems that a likely explanation for the chanting together is that some kind of connection was created between them in the force. Into the world of wild speculation, this could mean that Rex is more force sensitive than the average guy? Even if it was a temporary connection, it would make sense that Rex would have to feel the force somehow in order to connect with ahsoka to say the mantra. (Not sure I actually believe this but...putting it out there)

Once his chip gets removed and Ahsoka asks if he’s okay, Rex calls her “kid” again. I point this out because it’s definitely been a while since he’s called her anything but commander—probably out of a place of respect. But his first instinct after the chip is out is to call her “kid.” This was partially for reassurance that he’s back, because a Rex still affected by the chip wouldn’t call her kid. I also want to say though, that his first instinct is to call her kid, not commander, because he sees her as family first. And then when he has to tell her that every single clone is chipped, he calls her ahsoka (I think for the first time ever??). They’re far, far beyond their normal roles as captain and commander, and this reflects that. I also wonder if Rex realizes that ahsoka would hate to be called commander right now, after being forced to hurt the troops she has always tried to protect.

Aaaaand then they try to escape only to find the hangar filled with all the troopers, Jesse leading them. Ouch. Rex cries AGAIN (can any of us handle it? no.). He tells ahsoka that all of the clones, his brothers, only care about killing them—they don’t care if they die trying. Rex sounds so angry in this moment and for a second ahsoka looks surprised, but then she realizes how Rex is feeling and they have a Sad Moment when she takes his helmet off. There’s a moment when he visibly deflates as ahsoka seems to realize what he’s really feeling. And yeah, he turns away once his helmet is off, but he let her take his helmet off and see him cry. I feel like Rex has always been the person that’s strong for others, and doesn’t like to show his own vulnerability. Throughout the show he’s always been a steadying presence for others, whether it’s with ahsoka or fives or someone else. Even on umbara, he doesn’t let himself fall apart. But he lets ahsoka see that here. In his relationships with others, Rex almost always has to be the authority, the one who keeps calm in the face of everything. But with him and ahsoka, they can be equals—they can show their uncertainty and sadness. The only other person we see Rex really be honest with like this is Cody, in the bad batch arc when Rex talks about how he’s watched so many brothers die, and Cody says “it’s hard being the one that survives.” Cody and Ahsoka are the only people that have seen this side of Rex, because he trusts them more than anyone, and feels he doesn’t always have to be strong in front of them.

Then ahsoka says “you’re a good soldier, Rex.” I can’t NOT connect this to “good soldiers follow orders,” and Fives’ death. I don’t think ahsoka knows all about the “good soldiers follow orders,” but she knows Rex. She knows that Rex has always tried to be the good soldier, has been taught that following orders is everything, but has also grown so much over the course of the war (from meeting Cut to going through umbara to watching fives die). He’s grown into a person that realizes sometimes he has to make his own decisions, even if that doesn’t fit with the orders he’s been given. She gives him the reassurance that, despite everything, he’s still the person that he wants to be. Ahsoka sees through the anger he puts up, because of course he doesn’t want to kill his brothers, but it isn’t them anymore and what else are they supposed to do?

Once they are forced to fight the rest of the troopers in the hangar, it’s obvious that ahsoka and Rex work well together. Not much to say specifically, but the teamwork? the coordination? we love to see it (but also hate to see it bc o u c h).

Now we get back to trust (it always comes back to trust). Once they find the y-wing to escape on, Rex tells ahsoka to “get me over there” and just. Runs and jumps into thin air? Of course ahsoka gives him a boost with the force and he gets on the y-wing, but we know that Rex doesn’t like heights. It’s been a running joke through the show for other people to throw Rex in the air (geonosis? bad batch MULTIPLE TIMES lol), but it’s always without him asking and he Does Not Appreciate. This time he TELLS ahsoka to throw him over there and doesn’t even hesitate to jump. If Ahsoka hadn’t caught him he would have fallen to his death, and yet he trusts her so much that he does it anyway. He doesn’t even wait for a response from her after he tells her to throw him over there! Now, I don’t know if Rex is actually scared of heights or not, but if he is then this shows even more trust between them. He trusts her with his life completely, and probably vice versa.

And now we get to the end. Ahsoka and Rex buried all of the troopers they could find, because they’re family and it wasn’t their fault and they deserved better and agshdkjskjdh. At this point, they don’t know what’s happened in the rest of the galaxy, but Ahsoka’s felt the death in the force and they probably fear the worst. They are the only family they have left. We end with them about to get on the y wing and probably go to figure out what’s happened. Ahsoka stands at the graves and Rex sees her from beside the ship. There are no words, but they are united by the family they’ve lost.

Personally I find it really hard to believe they would have separated right after that, and i’m not sure what’s canon anymore with the ahsoka novel and when it starts, but whatever. Fitting (ish) with the ahsoka novel, they eventually realized that it wasn’t safe for either of them to stay together and had to say goodbye. I like a headcanon by someone on here (just lmk who you are and I’ll tag!!) about how ahsoka and Rex eventually find Wolffe and Gregor, but wolffe is badly affected by Ahsoka’s presence and so she makes the decision to leave. No matter what actually happened though, they stayed family, even apart. When they meet again in Rebels it’s so sweet!! They’ve both come so far from who they were at the start of the Clone Wars. In the beginning, Ahsoka saw Rex as a sort of mentor and quickly gained a lot of respect for him. Rex, in turn, was at first unsure about ahsoka but changed his mind fast. Ahsoka grows into the best Commander she can be by the end of season 3, and by this point they each see each other as equals. Though Ahsoka is commander and Rex captain, she respects his experience and cares about him as a friend, and maybe even family. By seasons 4 and 5 they see each other as family, after Ahsoka was there in the aftermath of umbara and Rex trusted her in the wrong Jedi. Even though ahsoka left, she never blamed the troopers for what she went through. And when she returns in season 7 she sees all of her family again, just for a moment, until it all comes crashing down and she and Rex are all each other has left. Over the three years of the war, Ahsoka and Rex was one of the friendships that wasn’t broken by betrayal or breach in trust. They had each other’s backs and grew to trust each other with their lives, and that didn’t change even after the war ended.

WOW that was long—I got carried away and went a lot into their individual characterization as well. Sorry if the conclusion was a bit dramatic, I wanted to wrap it up meaningfully. Let me know what you like and agree/disagree with, and hope you found this interesting!

#star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #clone wars #tcw #tcw season 7 #tcw s7 #ahsoka tano #captain rex #tcw finale #sw meta #tcw meta #this was very very long wow #sorry it took me a while #so many words #ahsoka and the clones #long post #my meta

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winryofresembool · 4 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 14

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Leo's fear raises its head at the worst possible moment.

A/N: Finally some (slight) drama after I've drowned all of you in fluff in the previous chapters. Also, it was pretty exciting for me to finally get to explore Leo's studying life a bit more in this chapter.

I also want to take this opportunity to advertise a future fic of mine that I /hope/ to finish by the end of this week. The past week I've been working on a post ToN Caleo one-shot which is already over 4000 words long and at this point mainly needs some heavy editing to be posted. So stay tuned for that too if you like this ship!

Big big thanks to Cris for helping me a whole lot with this chapter! I really needed your science knowledge :’)

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! And remember that comments are the only reward I get so they would be much, much appreciated!!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo. Jason, Percy, Annabeth

Words: 3000+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

“Mister Valdez? Are you listening?”

Leo snapped out of his daze. He was at his engineering math class and for the past 15 minutes the professor had been explaining to the group a problem that had taken Leo about 2-3 minutes to solve. Usually he did something else while listening to his professors; finish more calculations (sometimes even ones they weren’t assigned to do), doodle blueprints and ideas for future inventions into his notebook, write down a new joke he had come up with, or text Jason that he was bored. Weirdly enough, doing all that other stuff helped him to focus on what was going on in the lecture.

However, this time his mind was elsewhere; it kept showing him images of a girl with shoulder length reddish brown hair, dark brown eyes that seemed a bit harsh at first but softened when she laughed at his joke, a couple of freckles on her light skin… He could also hear her laughter and smell the cinnamon scent that probably came from the shampoo she used in his head. The previous evening had gone so well but he had no idea what to make of it; even if he did like Calypso (which he wasn’t quite ready to admit yet), could anything ever happen? They were flatmates. Things would sure get complicated if they got together and then broke up and would barely stand each other’s company… Besides, who was to say she’d ever like him? Sure, sometimes she seemed amused by his jokes but what other reasons did he give for her to like him? Not much, he felt.

Leo started to get frustrated because he couldn’t get those thoughts out of his head and he might have started to growl to himself if the professor hadn’t called him at that exact moment.

“Yes?” Leo answered unsurely, not having heard what the professor had asked.

“Good. Then you can tell me what the solution to this problem is.” The professor pointed at the long and complicated looking problem on the whiteboard.

Leo sighed of relief on the inside. They were still talking about the same problem that he had solved over 10 minutes ago. He could do this.

“X is 3,65, Y is 5,51 and Z is 7,24,” he said, sounding almost bored.

“That is correct,” the professor said, badly hiding his surprise. He had thought this kid who seemed to be living in his dream world would be utterly confused by his question. He turned his attention back to the rest of the class and continued: “Of course, the easiest way to solve this equation is to divide X with… Yes, Mister Valdez?”

“Actually, I disagree,” Leo said, now completely awake. “Why would you divide it when you can…”

“Which one of us is the professor here, Mister Valdez?” the professor cut him off. “You may think you know how to do this but there are plenty of students here who aren’t quite as advanced and that’s why it’s better to show them one way to do it rather than to confuse them by....”

“Yeah, right, my bad,” Leo said sarcastically. “If these students are so simple minded, then why don’t you give them more practical problems to solve? You know, things we might actually need in the work life instead of… that,” he pointed at the whiteboard.

A couple of people were brave enough to nod and hum in agreement to Leo’s comments but there were also a few that started laughing.

“Alright, that’s it, Mister Valdez. Leave my class.”

Leo obeyed gladly (that class was such a waste of time anyway). He packed his things and headed out of the room, grinning widely as he left to let the professor know he hadn’t won that battle. It was almost lunch time so he decided to already go to the cafeteria to wait for Jason whose class wasn’t too far either.

About 15 minutes later Jason showed up, and to Leo's surprise he also had company. Percy Jackson did occasionally join them for a game night or a sparring session but Leo almost exclusively saw him outside the university. From what he knew Percy was currently focusing on his swimming career and wasn’t studying anything. Now he had however joined Jason for lunch and that made Leo wonder if there was some specific reason for that.

“Hey, man,” Jason greeted. “You’re early today. Are they having enchiladas or something?”

“Nah,” Leo shook his head. “I may have gotten kicked out of the class.”

“What did you do this time?” Jason rolled his eyes.

“Nothing, really!” Leo exclaimed. Jason kept looking at him suspiciously, though, so he had to add eventually: “Fine, I may have disagreed with the professor about some of his methods, but really, that’s all. Didn’t blow up the lab or anything like that.”

“One time when I was in the high school I told the teacher his pants were unzipped and I wasn’t allowed to participate in his classes for a whole week after that. Didn’t miss much, though, he sucked as a teacher,” Percy joined the conversation.

“That’s exactly what I thought about this guy!” Leo said and gave Percy a high five. “Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought you’d be in the pool at this hour.”

“Just checking the places,” Percy shrugged. Leo raised his eyebrow questioningly. “Fine, Annabeth thinks that at some point I should start thinking about my career after swimming so Jason said he could show me around today so I’d get an idea what it’s like here. Oh and, he promised me a free lunch.”

“Makes sense,” Leo said while already looking at the menu eagerly. “I’d come here for a free lunch too.”

“You pay for this one, though,” Percy pointed out.

“Back to the actual topic ,” Jason said, looking at Leo a bit worriedly. “You didn’t get into big trouble with that professor, did you?”

“I think he’ll go back to ignoring me again in the next class. “ Leo replied. “So no need to worry.”

“Good. It’s just that, after that last lab incident…” Jason started, referring to an incident that had happened in the previous semester, but Leo stopped him.

“I said no need to worry,” Leo said a bit louder. “I’ve got things sorted, OK? Just… let’s go to get that damn lunch now. Chili con carne, anyone?”

In reality, Leo knew that if he skipped one more lab class, the professors wouldn’t be that understanding. The saddest part about it was that he actually enjoyed the lab classes way more than the boring theory classes because there you got to try things out with your own hands, but… there was one big but. He couldn’t be there when…

“Leo?” he heard Jason’s voice somewhere nearby

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“You were just totally zoned out, I was talking to you like a full minute and I don’t think you heard anything I said,” Jason pointed out.

“Oh, sorry. Lots going on in my mind. So, what did you say?” Leo asked.

“I was asking about when we should meet up on Saturday? I have soccer practice in the morning and Piper has a meeting with her theater group at 1 pm but we’re free after that.”

“I have to ask Cal but I think I can organize my work so I’d be free any time after 4 pm.”

“Alright, sounds fine to me,” Jason said, but Leo could sense that he was still wondering what had been bothering him that much.

“So who’s this Cal person?” Percy asked when the boys made it to the buffet tables.

“My new flatmate,” Leo said simply, currently more interested in filling his plate than elaborating on his living situation.

“OK. I was just wondering because Annabeth mentioned that she’d been at your place, and apparently she’d helped to give this flatmate of yours a makeover.”

“Oh, yeah!” Leo said, remembering that meeting quite vividly. “From what I’ve heard they’ve been hanging out quite a lot lately. That’s good because… well, she’s new here.” Leo was going to say that she doesn’t seem to have a lot of people in her life, but decided that he didn’t want to reveal too much to someone who had never even met her.

“Where is she from then?”

“I think she moved here from New York,” Leo said. “And she’s around your age. Who knows, you might even know her.”

“New York is a pretty big place,” Percy pointed out. “I guess Cal is a nickname? What’s her full name?”

Leo was going to answer when he spotted the chemistry lab professor in the crowd and he quickly hid behind Jason.

“Don’t let him see me,” Leo said hastily. “He’s gonna…”

Leo didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence when he heard the said professor say loudly: “Mister Valdez!”

Leo peeked from behind his friend.

“Hola, professor,” he said awkwardly. “Didn’t see you there.”

“Yes you did, you were just trying to hide from me. I wanted to remind you that today is the test day which is 60% of the mark. And that means that…”

“If I skip that test, I will fail the class,” Leo added, looking down at his feet. He didn’t remain like that long, though. “I’ll be there, professor.” He put up a brave face and saluted him as the professor just ‘hmmph’ed and turned away from me.

“I thought you said you have everything in order.” Jason raised his eyebrow once the boys had paid for their lunches and started to look for a table. “That didn’t seem like it.”

“Take care of your own business, Sparky,” Leo grunted and pointed at one empty table not far from them. “Let’s go there.”

“I’m serious, Leo,” Jason continued once they got seated. “Something is bothering you. We are your friends and we do care. You can trust us on this.”

Leo let Jason’s words sink in. Friends. Care. Trust. Since his mother died, he had always been the oddball, the outsider until he got a family who actually cared about him, Jo, Emmie and Georgie, but he still got a bit overwhelmed every time he realized that he really mattered to someone.

“Thanks, man.” Leo said finally. “I’ll… keep that in my mind. Promise.”

“Good.” Jason smiled at him encouragingly. “You can talk to us whenever you feel like it.”

After that the discussion moved to other things. Percy was hopeful that he was fit enough for a new record in his next competition and he didn’t forget to praise her little sister as well. Jason mentioned having seen his father at the campus but he had barely acknowledged his presence. Leo threw a few sarcastic comments here and there to let the others know he was listening. However, he had lost his appetite after hearing about the test. He had barely tasted his lunch and was now moving the rice back and forth on his plate as it got cooler. If the others noticed that, they didn’t say anything, probably thinking that it was better to let Leo open up on his own accord.

The lunch time flew by too fast for Leo’s liking. After separating from his friends he started heading towards the lab where most of the other students were already getting prepared. Taking a deep breath, he stepped in, hoping for the best.

The lab class started with a brief written test that made sure the students were ready for the practice part. This time would be particularly important, though, because it was testing them about pretty much everything they had learned so far in that class, and would be graded accordingly.

The written test caused no problem to Leo. He’d be able to name the lab tools by heart even in his sleep and the calculations weren’t much harder to him. However, he was already dreading the actual practice part for a very specific reason…

In the practice Leo would have to mix a few compounds together to get a chemical reaction. That was the simple part. But unfortunately for him, these said compounds would have to be heated in order for them to react. And of course you’d need a flame to do that. Now that was the hard part for Leo. He hated the gas burners and it had become a habit for him to skip a lab class when he knew they would be used. Unfortunately for him, that was fairly often because apparently the university’s heating plates were used by some other group at the same time, and that was also why he was about to fail this class. But if he could handle using the burner just this once, maybe he’d be fine… He knew he couldn’t afford to fail it because if he did, it might be a sign that he wouldn’t be able to do the job he was so excited about, and that would be a huge slap in his face. Maybe even bigger than he was ready to admit.

He measured the compounds and was ready to heat them when he noticed that a fellow student nearby had accidentally mistaken two of the compounds with each other, ruining the mixture. That gave him an idea.

“Pssst. I can mix a new one for you if you heat this for me.”

“What?” The other student looked at him with confusion. “Why would I do that?”

“I just told you. I can fix that for you.”

“You just want to flex with your skills, that’s all,” the guy said, knowing Leo’s reputation as the genius who however refused to join lab classes. Probably because he felt he was too good for them. “May I remind you that this is a solo practice!” the professor yelled from the front of the class. “No talking allowed.”

“Yes, professor,” Leo said quietly, but rolled his eyes at him when he turned his back. He read the instructions one more time to make sure he hadn’t missed anything and when he was double convinced that he was in the part that he had dreaded, he breathed sharply and picked up his gas burner and some matches. He felt his heart starting to race and his hands starting to shake as he took one match from the box and tried to light it.

He tried once. Twice. Took a deep breath and tried once more. At this point his hands were shaking so furiously that the match fell from his hand. Realizing that he still couldn’t do it, he made a frustrated groan, dropped the match box on the table and started shakily collecting his things.

“Mister Valdez? Did you finish your task?” The professor raised his gaze from his desk and focused on him. A few others turned to Leo’s direction as well.

“No, sir.”

“And why not?”

“I. can’t.” Leo said with a voice so deep and raw that you rarely got to hear it from him. He left his unfinished product on the professor’s desk. Then he threw his bag over his shoulder and doors banging left the class.

He didn’t make it far when he felt his knees going weak and he had to sit down on the closest chair, burying his face in his hands.

…

“Thanks so much for showing me that place! It feels so good to see some nature even this close to the city,” Calypso exclaimed happily to Annabeth as they were walking towards the dorms. Calypso loved nature and she didn’t really feel at home in the concrete jungle, hoping that one day she could afford to buy a house from the countryside. She had once mentioned that to Annabeth who also enjoyed adventuring in the less crowded areas and had promised to take Calypso to one of her favorite parks nearby. They both had had free time from their classes that afternoon so they had decided to take the advantage of that and go to explore a bit.

The park had been pretty, having a small river running through it and little trails circling the trees. Calypso, who had grown near the sea missed seeing bodies of water so even the river had made her feel a little less homesick. The girls had been there for a few hours, taking pictures and having a small picnic while talking about anything and everything that had come to their minds.

Now, unfortunately, it was time to return back to real life and the assignments that were waiting for them at home.

“No problem,” Annabeth replied to Calypso’s comment. “Honestly, I think this break was much needed. I do love architecture and history and all that but sometimes my ADHD kicks in and I just need to get out of the house.”

“Yeah, it helps to focus again afterwards,” Calypso agreed. “Hey, do you have anything special to do this weekend? Leo, I, Piper and Jason are supposed to have a video game night on Saturday and I thought I’d ask if you want to join. You can ask your boyfriend too if you want, of course! I’m sure Leo wouldn’t mind.”

“What time would it be?” Annabeth asked.

“I haven’t asked Leo yet but he does work on Saturdays so probably not very early. Sometime in the evening. I can inform you when I know more,” Calypso promised.

“Okay, I’ll keep that in my mind. My boyfriend has a swimming practice twice a day so he may not be able to join us but I might!”

“Great!”

The girls had reached the area where Calypso lived so they turned to their own directions.

“I’ll contact you!” Calypso said before Annabeth was too far to hear. She waved at her in response.

Calypso was still smiling when she entered her flat, but the smile soon melted from her face when she saw Leo hunched on the couch, looking utterly lost. Calypso approached him cautiously, asking: “What happened?”

Leo patted on the seat next to him, gesturing to her to join him on the couch. She did, but when he didn’t say anything for a while, though, Calypso decided to be bold and wrap her arm around his shoulder. Leo looked at her with dark eyes, still appreciating the gesture.

“I may have to start making new career plans.”

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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totaldramafan-lauri · 4 years

Text

The Far Side

It’s. Finally. Done.

Dear god.....OK, so....this was supposed to be like Dancing With A Stranger - short side thing as a break from the other one I was working on.....but it just.....got WAY outta control. XD

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t, like.....a LOT longer than Focused On Her or anything. The reason it took soooooo much longer to write is that a lot of crap kept happening IRL that stressed me out to the point where I couldn’t write, or could only work on it in very short doses some days. I skipped a lot of days, unlike with FOH which I was working on daily. They’re actually about the same length, I’d say...but FOH had more stuff in it, definitely.

I think the reason this got outta hand was that, unlike Dancing With A Stranger, where I only went up to the first chorus, I actually went through the whole song here, thinking “It’ll be fine, I’ll just make the segments moderately short!”

......Sometimes I forget just how flipping detail-oriented I am. >__>

The song this fic is based on is “The Far Side” by Aviators, BTW. I heard it one day after being reminded of a certain AU from Discord....an AU based on a concept that I really really like. The song reminded me of it, and......I-I couldn’t resist. >/////>

Despite the fact that I was stressed a lot of the time while writing, I really did try to make this the best that I could. I don’t think this is my best work, but I did enjoy making the dialogue, as usual.....I-I really hope it’s good enough! >///////<

I will warn you, however, that this doesn’t have as much of a story as my other fics. It mainly consists of two characters talking. If that isn’t your thing, you might not wanna read.

WARNING: Implied yandere and very light N/S/F/W!

--- Where'd you get the notion you're only human? You know there's a dark place that will make you something more... ---

How'd you get into this situation?

Oh yeah, you were pressured into it. "It'll be fun", they said. "No one's been in here for decades, maybe we'll find something," they said.

Why couldn't you show some backbone? If you did, maybe you wouldn't be here right now. All you could feel were two things: regret, and fear. You were alone, wrapped in darkness, with no noise to distract you from your thoughts...and the only light being from the candle you were holding.

You couldn't believe you had gotten separated from them. How could you let that happen? You were so stupid...Your group had been small, just you and four other people, each with a candle. You had heard the rumors of the place you were in being haunted...of people hearing voices whenever they'd dare to enter. The last person who tried to search there went in alone, and never came out. No one had gone in there since....not until your thrill-seeking friend and their friends caught word of it. Not that any of them actually believed in...ghosts...but a spooky location that drove its last residents to possible insanity? They should've backed out. And they should've known better than to bring you with them.

But here you were, terrified out of your mind in this dark, unfamiliar place. You didn't know how you had gotten separated...one moment, you were trailing behind them as they wandered down one of the old hallways, and you thought you had followed them into a room, but...maybe it was a different room? You could've sworn you had seen them go into this one, but your eyes didn't deceive you. There was only one light in here: yours.

You frantically called out your friend's name, getting no answer. You called out the names of the others, desperate for some response, but there was still only silence. You felt a lump start to form in your throat, tears coming to your eyes. You were starting to panic.

And then, suddenly, you felt something softly touch your shoulder...and you thought you heard laughter.

--- I could sell a one-way to absolution To the wholly abstract where we'll never drift back ashore ---

You gasped and flinched, your free hand immediately going to the place you had felt the touch, but finding nothing. Oh no...you were getting delirious, weren't you? Or was this some sort of cruel joke?

You yelled out your friend's name again. "Th-this isn't funny!" you shouted, your voice shaking, "S-stop it!"

It was then that you heard the laughter again...a soft giggle, echoing through the room. You began shaking more. "C-come out..." you said, your voice getting weaker, "...P-please..."

"Poor lost little doll...Don't worry, you're not alone~"

You felt your heart skip a beat when you heard an unfamiliar voice. Was there someone else in the room? There had to be...but where were they? You frantically moved the hand that was holding the candle all around you, looking everywhere you could see. "Wh-who's there!?" you shouted, "Wh-where-!?"

"Awww, sorry, but you're not gonna see anything...not with that candle you're holdin'~"

You stepped back in panic when you heard the voice again, and double-checked around the room. You saw no one. No one...there was no one here. This couldn't be real...you had to be hearing things. You were going crazy, and had to get out of there as soon as possible.

You shook your head, trying to regain the little composure you had left before. "No...no..." you muttered under your breath.

That's when you heard the door close behind you, softly, as if it had been pushed by a gust of wind. You jolted and turned towards it, seeing that it was indeed shut. You let out a startled yelp and practically started hyperventilating. How did that happen? There was no one else around who could've done that! In panic, you shouted your friend's name again, hoping that they were outside the door...but the only answer you got was more giggling.

"What's wrong, doll? Why do ya look so scared~? I just want’cha to stay a while...~"

It wasn't real. There was no way this was happening. There was no way...they were right...

"Ghosts don't like light!" one of the people in your group had said, "We should all bring a candle."

You hadn't believed them. There was no way that the place was really, honestly haunted, right? It was just a rumor. Just a way to get a rise out of people. But still, the idea of possible danger had caused your friend to shake with excitement, so you went along with them. It wouldn't be so bad, you thought. It was just an old, abandoned house...nothing else...

Nothing else...

You darted for the door, reaching for the knob with your free hand, and opened it, looking back into the hallway. You cried out for your group.

"It's better that you're not with them anymore..."

"S-stop!" you shouted in panic, hitting your head against the door.

"No one can bother you anymore~" the voice practically purred, right in your ear. You felt a light touch on your shoulder again, "Everything will be OK~..."

"STOP!" you shrieked, hitting your head again before bolting down the hallway as fast as you could. You didn't remember which way you had come, and your limited vision didn't help that at all. But you just wanted to get as far away from that room as possible. You could try and backtrack once you could think straight again.

You turned a corner, trying your best not to drop your candle out of your shaking hand. Why did this place have to be so dang big? Why did people build such big houses? If it was smaller, maybe someone could've heard you scream...and someone could come help you, and comfort you, tell you it's just in your head...

You ran past a few doors, not bothering to stop to check them. Then you reached a flight of stairs. It hit you that maybe your group had gone up there, and that's why they didn't hear you. So, you trudged up the stairs, panting heavily from running.

As much as you hated it, it wasn't long until you had to stop to catch your breath. You leaned against a wall for balance. You were far enough away from that room now, right? You tried to straighten out your thoughts, but it was hard when you were still recovering from such a rush of adrenaline...You had to calm down.

"Why are you still tryin' to look for them? They're not gonna help you!"

There was the voice again, echoing through the hallway you were now in. Your eyes widened and you instinctively tried to start running again, but you had no energy left, so it was more like a fast walk. You really needed to get in better shape.

"Or is it me? Are you tryin' to get away from me, hmmm?"

"G-go...away..." you protested weakly, speaking more to yourself.

"But I just wanna talk, that's all~"

"S-stop..." you panted. You stopped walking and started pulling at your hair, whining pitifully. "I-it's not real...y-you're not real...s-stop!"

Whenever you acted like this...like a scared child...you would occasionally get pity from others, but usually, you'd get told to grow up and act tougher. But that never worked. Every time you tried to toughen up, you'd always fail miserably...Maybe that's why you had agreed to come here - to prove you weren't afraid. But now, you once again failed, and reverted back to your natural state. Timid, and a nervous wreck. A victim to the voices in your head.

You just wanted it to stop...

Silence filled the hallway for a moment, as you stood there stiffly with your eyes squeezed shut...and then, you felt something trail up your back. It was a gentle touch, soft as the wind. You flinched as it reached your shoulder, slowly trailing over it.

"How real did that feel, doll~?"

This...was not in your head.

--- I've been living on the far side I've been leaving footprints in your mind ---

"I did tell you ya weren't alone! You should'a believed me~"

The voice echoed, every word coming out smooth as butter. It was a feminine voice, sickeningly sweet yet playful, laced with a slight accent.

Your body had become frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights. It was as if your mind had stopped working. You couldn't deny it. You couldn't come up with any explanation. That touch was real...you couldn't have made that up.

"I really am here...ya can't see me, not right now...but I promise, I am~..."

You opened your mouth, and all that came out was a tiny squeak. You couldn't bring yourself to do anything else. You didn't wanna open your eyes and see no one there. You didn't wanna believe this was happening. There was a creeping sense of dread building in your gut as you gathered the facts as best you could. You were in the presence of someone you couldn't see. And whoever this was...had the ability to touch you.

You felt like you were truly in danger.

You almost wished that it was all in your head at that point. Your fear allowed you to move again, shaking your head and taking a few steps back.

"Skittish little kitten, arent'cha? C'mon, don't be like that~"

There was another soft touch, felt all around you...like a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind. You gasped, your body stiffening once again. You wanted to run away, but you knew you couldn't. Whatever this force was would keep following you. And this feeling of being held in place...you knew you could easily break free, but for some reason, you couldn't. Was it fear? Did you not want to agitate...whatever or whoever this was?

The voice spoke again, right in your ear. "Shhhh...just relax...Everything will be OK, as long as you're with me..."

A shiver raced up your spine at the sound. A tone of voice that would normally be considered...soothing...Was this being trying to calm you down, or was it a trick? If there was anything you wanted more than anything, it was to be assured you were OK...but you felt like you shouldn't let your guard down...Still, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try talking to it...

You gulped before attempting to speak again. "Y-you...A-are you a...a...?"

"A ghost? Is that what you're tryin' to say?" There was a giggle. "Well, what else can I be~?"

So it was true...Everything you heard was true. There really were ghosts in this place...and you were in the arms of one. What could you even do next? You gulped again, feeling how dry your mouth was from all the yelling. If you ran, you'd just be followed. If you left, you'd feel guilty that you'd be leaving your friend and the others inside. But maybe they'd already left without you? Where were they? You knew you had to find them...but how?

"But I don't wanna scare you...I never did," the voice echoed into your ear again, "Maybe a rattle ya a little, but not too much...All I wanted was to talk to you...And hold ya, mmmm, just like this..." You felt something rest on your shoulder. "From when I first saw you, I knew that's what I wanted...I'd never seen someone look so lonely in a group before...I could tell, those other guys didn't care about ya at all. They would've easily left ya in the dust if they wanted...And someone like you, so small, so cute, deserves much better...So I just had to take you away~"

You took in every word you heard with disbelief...It wasn't the kind of thing you expected to hear from a ghost. It - she - thought you were...lonely? And wanted to help you?

You weren't lonely, though, were you? You had friends. No matter how different they are, they still talked to you. They wouldn't have brought you here if they didn't like you, right?

"Y-you're wrong...about them..." you said, voice shaking, "Th-they're my friends, and they wouldn't...l-leave me. Y-you don't know them..."

"I know their TYPE, though," she replied, "Always excited about the next big thrill...Not ever wantin' to stop and take a breather...Puttin' their dreams above anyone who cares about 'em. The second you start fallin' behind, they don't look back to see if you're still there...They'd happily leave ya behind, waitin' for them to come back for you..."

"Th-they wouldn't-!"

"Shhh...I saw. They never looked back to check on you...They didn't even care about how spooked ya looked...It was so sad! Trust me, doll...ya might not think you can do better, but you can..."

There was a trace of irritation in her voice as she talked about your group. You were about to disagree again, but then you thought about it...You didn't wanna come here, but they had made you. And you couldn't say no to your friend. It had always been like that...you were always going along with whatever you were told, because you were scared of saying no. But what did they do in return?

You were constantly stressed out, and they didn't try to understand you. They never slowed down for you. But...you never minded. You didn't wanna feel like a burden.

She was wrong...you really couldn't do better...And you didn't want to! They liked you! It was fine! You were fine!

"Are your feet tired, after our game~?" she asked you, interrupting your thoughts, "You're in luck~" You felt her let go of you. You shivered, realizing how odd it felt. "Two doors down on the left, doll...That's my room~...Go there if you wanna take a break, OK?"

She was right...your feet were aching. You really wanted to sit down. You were not used to running that much, and your body was crying out in exhaustion. It was really starting to dawn on you that maybe this ghost really didn't want to hurt you...maybe she was telling the truth. But it could also be a trap...

"I...should really keep looking..." you protested weakly.

You felt something brush against your back, softly, trying to push you forward.

"Awwww, but it doesn't have to be too long...C'mon~"

"B-but..." your voice trailed off, and you hesitated. You thought of a possibility - If you stayed in one room, maybe they would eventually find you. If they really were still here, and didn't leave without you...they must've noticed you were missing by now. And if they did find you...then you would be proving her wrong. She'd get proof that they cared...and so would you.

You finally took a step forward, holding your candle in front of you to illuminate the hallway the best you could. Then you walked to the room she had recommended.

"Very good!" she said excitedly, as she was surely following you, "No more running...I don't want ya to waste your breath, kitten, when I could take it away myself~"

It was strange. You couldn't help but still feel on edge. You were lost, couldn't escape, and were resorting to following a ghost's orders while in her domain. This could easily go bad for you. And you knew that.

Yet, you felt heat rush to your cheeks...

--- Tell me all your secrets I could be your key to the afterlife ---

You opened the door and looked around the room she had called hers. It was a large bedroom, one that no doubt would've looked very nice without the signs of age everywhere. There were old stuffed animals scattered all over the floor and on the bed, and the walls were a pastel pink. It wasn't the kind of taste you imagined she'd have, but you didn't dwell on that too long. You were just happy that it looked safe.

While you were looking around, the door closed behind you, letting you know that she had followed. "I know it's a bit...childish," she said, "The girl who lived here before me was quite...innocent...and loving..." her voice got lower as she said those words, before quickly switching back to her normal tone. "But I don't mind too much~"

You looked around more, a bit scared to touch anything. She was right, there was a bit of a childish feel to the room, which made you feel uneasy. "Can I...sit down...?" you asked nervously.

"O'course ya can. That's why you're here, isn't it~?" she answered with a giggle. "Oh golly, it's been so long since I've brought someone in here..."

You slowly walked over to the bed and pressed your hand to it, testing its softness, and then you finally sat down, stretching your legs in front of you. It felt so good to be off your feet, after what felt like hours. You reached over and sat your candle down on the nightstand close by, keeping it close to you still, and breathed a sigh of relief. This was no doubt the most content you'd been up to this point in the old house. You still hoped you could leave soon, as you were still uneasy being in the presence of a ghost in an unfamiliar place...but you decided that this was better than wandering around.

Your thoughts once again wandered to your group, wondering where they could be, or if they'd already went by here before you got there...how unlucky that would be...

Your thoughts were interrupted by a cold touch trailing up your arm, causing you to inhale sharply. Her touches were so light, yet they always made you react like that, and you didn't like it. You didn't wanna keep being the "skittish kitten" she saw you as...but you knew you couldn't help it. That was just how you were.

"P-please stop...doing that..." you said shakily, looking down at your hands, folded on your lap.

Her chuckle echoed through the room, sounding very close, and you let out a small peep when you felt something on your cheek. Your hands went to cover your face. What was she even doing? Didn't she say she didn't wanna scare you? Was she...trying to do something else? No, there was no way...

"N-no!" you squeaked as you gave yourself a few slaps on the cheek. "Stop!"

More laughter filled the room, louder this time. She was clearly enjoying making you react. "Y’know I can't hurt ya, right?" she said, "Not that I'd ever want to~..."

Her touch moved to the top of your head, slowly stroking it, as if praising a pet. You squeezed your eyes shut at that sensation, freezing up for a moment. "A-ah..." you attempted to keep speaking, "But still...y-you can't..." your voice trailed off. Her gentle petting didn't cease, and for a moment, you felt your walls start to come down. You didn't wanna admit it, but despite how light it was, it felt...good. However, you were able to quickly snap yourself out of it and place a hand on your head, hoping it would make her stop.

Luckily for you, she seemed to let go from that. "Don't worry your pretty lil' head, doll~" she said, her voice a croon, "You're safe here~..."

You tried your best to hide the shiver that raced through you. "I'm not sure...if I should believe you..." you mumbled.

She claimed that she wouldn't, and couldn't, hurt you. But you were still wary. You couldn't see her. Yet she could see and feel you. You couldn't help but think that was unfair.

"I understand that it's not easy to trust me...but I'll treat ya well anyway, babe! I'll be better to ya then they ever could..."

She was referring to your group again, wasn't she? She really didn't like them. You were again tempted to leave the room, and her, to look for them again...but you wanted to prove her wrong. And so you'd stay here. With her...

You hoped you wouldn't regret this.

You chose not to reply to her that time, and when you didn't, she spoke again. "What's wrong? Worried about them? You're so sweet, carin' for people who aren't thinkin' about you...But I assure ya, they're just fine! I didn't touch 'em at all! I just wanted you, doll~"

Her touch returned, this time trailing up one of your arms, causing you to shrink back. "And now...I have you..."

Her voice had gotten deeper, and somehow, smoother as well. Your heart started beating faster, in what you assumed was fear. You tried to tell yourself not to be scared...that, again, she couldn't hurt you. But it didn't work...your heart raced, and you felt heat rise in your face. You gulped, and scooted closer to your candle.

"Calm down~" she crooned, her voice back to its normal tone, like that hadn't even happened, "You're gonna be here a while, doll...Ya wanna be jumpy like this the whole time, hmmm~? Or do ya wanna relax?"

You tried to find your words again, but it was difficult. Your mouth had gotten dry, your thoughts, fuzzy...and you didn't fully know why. Fear had never affected you like that before. It was almost as if...you couldn't finish that thought. "It's..." you stuttered, "...k-kinda hard to relax right now...Sorry..." Did you just apologize to her? What was wrong with you? This wasn't the kind of situation to be polite in! You mentally slapped yourself for that.

Another chuckle, this one softer and less sinister. "It's OK...just take it little by little. You'll see that you're in good hands...you'll see that you can trust me...because I'm not leavin' your side~"

It was official - you were stuck with her as long as you were here. Maybe it was because you didn't wanna be all alone, but, for the first time...that thought didn't scare you. Maybe...it wouldn't be so bad.

--- Feel the rhythm in my cold heart I could make your soul a work of art ---

"Let's start with something simple! Tell me your name~"

You fell silent, unsure if you should answer that request. You didn't know what kinds of things she was capable of. Could she leave the house? Could she look for you? You weren't sure, and you didn't know if it was safe to ask.

"C'mon, I wanna get to know ya better...I'll let you know me better too! Does that sound good? You scratch my back...and I scratch yours~?" the point was emphasized with a slow touch trailing up your back.

You thought about it a bit more, as you looked down at your hands. She'd made it clear what she wanted - not to hurt you, not to scare you...but to talk to you, nothing more. In fact, with the things she said, it almost felt as if she wanted to make you happy. Of course, it was hard to tell how honest she was, especially with the playful way she talked to you. You had a hard time reading ordinary people, so reading someone who's face you couldn't see...it felt impossible. But she wasn't leaving. You had to accept that.

And you couldn't deny that the opportunity to learn more about her in return certainly sparked your curiosity...

Just as you were contemplating it, she asked the very thing you were trying to ask yourself.

"Cant’cha give me a chance?"

You took a deep breath, hoping this wouldn't come back to bite you. You mumbled your name under your breath.

She repeated it. "Is that it?" You nodded shyly. "What a cute name...It fits you~" You felt your face flush at that. "Thanks so much for sharing it with me~"

"I-it's fine..." you stuttered, "A-and...no one has ever said that to me before..."

"What? That your name is cute? Or that YOU'RE cute~?" she asked with a chuckle.

Nerves built inside of you, causing your stuttering to get worse, to the point where you were fighting to not stumble over your words. "I-I...um...No way...Y-you're lying, like, it's a j-joke right? I-I'm not..."

"You're just provin' my point there, doll~"

You looked at the wall, doing the best you could to avert your eyes from her, even though you couldn't see her. You wanted to hide your burning face. No one had ever called you cute before...Even though you couldn't fully tell if she was serious, you didn't know how to react...A ghost complimented you, and you were flustered. It was embarrassing.

--- Just a touch of heaven Walking with the dead makes you feel alive ---

You felt something softly cover both your hands on your lap, making you flinch and look over again. Not that you really had any reason to...you saw nothing there. But, you could imagine her there, looking you in the eyes, as she placed her hands over yours...

...Why didn't that thought scare you?

She said your name again...Your name, coming from her smooth voice, echoing throughout the room...Your thoughts escaped you, and you sat there silently, not pulling away. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt yourself start to relax.

"Doll...Have you ever had a best friend?"

You willed yourself to speak again, as if snapping yourself out of a trance. "O-oh, uh...a best friend?"

"Yeah! Y'know, someone you can open up to...Someone you can tell aaaall your secrets to...Someone you can trust with everything~..."

You paused, trying to think into your past. Was there ever someone you felt you could tell anything to? Or have you always been scared to do that? "...No," you answered truthfully, "I've had friends before...b-but never a best friend..."

She hummed. "Mmmm, that's sad...But I know the world out there is full of fake friends who'd never treat ya well..." she said softly, as you could very slightly feel your hand being stroked, "I'd never treat ya like that. I'd never make ya feel like ya don't matter...I can show ya what it's like to have a best friend~"

Her words were soft, and in a way...caring. Maybe you were simply losing the ability to fight back, but...it felt like she was being honest. Having someone to be there for you, to comfort you...a special someone like that...was that what you wanted? With your current friends, you were always scared to open up, worried that they wouldn't like you anymore. To have someone who you know wouldn't do that, no matter what...you couldn't deny how nice that sounded. But...was this really the right place for that?

You didn't know what to say...she had left you stunned. It felt like you were...melting. Maybe...you should trust her...even for a little while...

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she said, "Call me Spinel~"

And just like that, you knew her name. You repeated it back to her. "Spinel...?" your voice was weak, unsure, "L-like...the birthstone?"

"Exactly that, toots~"

What a unique name...Spinel. You didn't say it out loud, but...it fit her.

--- We could take a ride on the road to paradise You'll abandon your bones for a desolate home away ---

"It's your turn to ask a question now. Fire away~"

You were taken aback when she said that, having had no idea you were taking turns. "Oh, um..." You paused, trying to think. What should you ask first? She'd given you the opportunity to learn more about her, and you wanted to take it...Maybe knowing more would make you more comfortable. But you had no idea where to start. Should you start with her past? Should you ask her...what she looks like? If she even has an appearance at all...? Was it OK to ask questions like that? Would she even tell you the truth?

While you thought it over, she said nothing, but you could still feel her ‘hands’ on top of yours, so you knew she was still there. She was being patient with you...She really did want you to talk to her. It was hard to believe...

Finally picking a question, you spoke up again. "How long...have you been here?"

"How long? Hmmmm..." now it was her turn to stop and think, "...Sorry, doll, I lost track of exactly how long! It's been longer than you've been alive, though, I know that much!" she said, in a casual way.

"R-really? That long?" you asked incredulously. You supposed it made sense, with how old the mansion was. Was she as old as the place? Or even older? Had she always lived here, since she was...alive? Was she even alive before? More questions popped up in your mind, your curiosity rising.

"Y'know what? Go ahead and ask another one. Maybe I'll give ya a real answer this time~"

"N-no, it's fine! I'm fine with the answer I got!" you said quickly.

"But ya look so curious! Y'wanna follow it up?"

You were embarrassed that you were so easy for her to read. Again, you avoided the big questions about her appearance and her death. You wanted to try to be polite to her, and treat her as a person and not a ghost. After all, she had asked you to give her a chance, and you decided to do just that. "Do you, um...live alone...?" you asked nervously.

"Yes, I do," she answered, "But there are more of us. I do go out and mingle with other spirits like me sometimes...We like watchin’ humans, when we can find 'em...Lurin' away groups and splittin' them up is our favorite thing!" she giggled, "But most of the time, I stay here."

So there were more...That thought made you uneasy. Knowing there were other ghosts, possibly ones not as social as Spinel was, out there somewhere...and they like luring humans...You should've known you couldn't be the only one who's caught her attention. You weren't special enough.

Just as fear started to build up in your body again, you felt her stroking your hand again, as if she sensed it. "But don't worry. We don't mess 'em up...That's not what we like doin'~...We just like playin', and talkin', like this~"

So...all ghosts, or at least the ones like her...they were all affectionate, like her? You found that hard to believe, but you had no way of proving it false. And she had no reason to lie to you at the moment.

"But so far...none of 'em have been the special someone I want..." she added, softly, "No one wanted to stop and chat for long...and I never got to make 'em truly happy...But you, doll, you're different..."

Her words had made you think. Was that really all she wanted...? Was that true? Everything she said to you to calm you down, ease your fears...Part of you had wanted to believe it, and now, all of you wanted to believe it. All this time, Spinel was alone, and wanted a...a...

"S-special...someone...?" you asked.

"That's right..." she said, in a voice just above a whisper.

Her touch left your hands at last, but you weren't free for long. You felt her softly stroke your cheek, causing goosebumps all over your skin. You inhaled sharply at the sensation.

"Maybe I'll get to..." her voice trailed off.

Your body was frozen, and the tone of her voice caused a feeling in your chest that, for once, wasn't fear at all. When she didn't finish the sentence, you longed to know the rest. What was she going to say to you? You felt like you needed to know. "G-get...to...wh-what...?" you asked, your voice coming out breathier then you had wanted it to.

After you asked that, she immediately released your cheek, leaving you to bend forward, letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "Whoops, I almost got ahead of myself! It's my turn to ask now!"

"B-but...what...were you gonna say?" you asked her. "Wh-what...?"

She chuckled. "Eager, arent'cha? Well, good to know you aren't scared anymore~" she teased, "Don't worry...you can ask me later! I'm not goin' anywhere, remember~?"

Your face flushed, and you looked down at your hands again. Why did you have to get so caught up in the things she said? Did it even really matter, if you weren't gonna come back after this? Your group was probably looking for you right now, and here you were, wondering what she was going to say to you...as if it was important...

But you couldn't help it. She was getting to you.

--- Have you seen the watcher's castle born of ice? It's a comforting hold for the wandering souls to stay ---

"You were forced to come here, right?"

You nodded. "Mhm..."

"So, did you know anything about this place before ya got here...or, perhaps, had you heard things?"

"I thought we were asking one question each...and that's two..." you said, in the most deadpan voice you could muster. You tried your hardest to seem like you didn't care, embarrassed about what just happened.

She giggled in response. "Oh, you! Y’know that first one doesn't count, since I already knew the answer~!"

Of course she already knew you were forced here. She had told you the reason she took notice of you is that she'd seen how scared you looked. Even when you tried to hide how much you didn't wanna come, someone still noticed...Thinking of that again, you realized that Spinel read your emotions better than your friend did. How did that work?

And she made it seem like...she cared about you so much already...It was an odd feeling.

"I-I know," you replied after a pause, "I was just messing around, that's all..."

"Tryin' to show me some sass, huh, kitten? Better watch out, 'cause I'm callin' the shots here..." she said teasingly, "...and ya can't hurt me with those claws of yours~"

You weren't sure if it was just your imagination, but the way she said that sounded almost flirtatious, in a way. You turned your head away from your candle in an attempt to hide your flushed face in the darkness...a futile attempt, for sure, given she lived in darkness. You attempted to keep calm while your heartbeat picked up speed.

"You OK there~?"

You subconsciously started jiggling one of your legs in your nervousness. "I-I'm fine...!"

"You gonna answer me, theeeeen~?" You flinched as you felt something trail up your chest very slightly, and you moved back a bit.

"I-I didn't know too much!" you stuttered, your voice cracking a little, "A-all I knew was that it was old, a-and no one has lived here for decades, a-and..." you paused, "...that people went insane in here...s-said they heard voices! B-but I was told not to believe that part...L-like it was a rumor..."

She chuckled. "You thought you wouldn't find anything? And how did that work out for ya~? How does it feel, knowin' that the rumors are true, huh~? And now that ya know not to be scared..." you felt her again, running through your hair, as her voice got quieter and whispier...more sultry, "Talkin' to me right now...does it thrill ya, doll~?"

Your voice got caught in your throat as you sat there wide-eyed, like your brain had stopped working. The feeling in your chest intensified at her words...it was a fluttery kind of feeling, one that you hadn't felt in a very long time. You didn't know how to react to it. You didn't know how to respond to her. Yet your thoughts raced, trying to catch up.

Does it...thrill you? Does she think that you like talking to her? Why would you enjoy sitting in the dark, in an old abandoned bedroom, talking to someone you can't see? You already had enough conversations with voices in your head, and this was no different then that...except it was way creepier!

...But...it wasn't. You could feel her there. And she was listening to you, in her own way...Giving you all her attention, saying things to you that no one else had ever said before...

...But no...there was no way that you were enjoying this. You were just waiting for your group to find you, that's all...right?

"N-no..." you attempted to speak. "I-I just- ah-" you were cut off when you felt something brush your lips.

"You're not weaselin' your way outta this. If ya really didn't like bein' here, with me...ya would'a left already, is that right~?"

You shook your head. "N-no! I-! I'm just w-waiting for my friends!"

You were too flustered to speak confidently, even though that was something you had an excuse for. You had agreed to come with her so you could prove her wrong about your friends! Prove to her that they really did care about you, and wouldn't leave without you! While it's true that you could leave the room at any time, it would be better for them to find you...

But...how long has it been?

Your heart sank as your thoughts went back to them. "I just...thought they'd be here by now..."

"Awww, don't look like that...I'll gladly let ya stay here with me for as long as ya like~..."

And just like that, the fluttering was back. Though a part of you still resisted her, it was getting harder to pretend. And hearing her say that to you...it brought you a joy that you didn't think you could feel. Maybe she did thrill you after all.

"I-I guess I will, then..." you said, still trying to keep a straight face.

--- I've been living on the far side I've been leaving footprints in your mind Tell me all your secrets I could be your key to the afterlife Feel the rhythm in my cold heart I could make your soul a work of art Just a touch of heaven Walking with the dead makes you feel alive ---

"It's your turn to ask again~" she said in a sing-songy way, snapping you out of the daze you had started to fall into.

"O-oh, right..."

You paused, trying to think of a good question for her. Something she'd feel comfortable answering. But all you could think of at first was the thing you were most curious about.

'What do you look like?' You wanted to ask her that so bad. You wanted to attach a face to the voice talking to you all this time. But...you chickened out yet again. Your mind went through every single negative outcome it could to dissuade you from asking her that, and it worked. You didn't wanna accidentally offend her if she didn't actually have a form, or if it counted as bringing up stuff from a possible past. And you couldn't help but think that...maybe this was a case where you didn't want to know the answer.

But still, she was so mysterious...and you felt increasingly curious about her, against your better judgement. So, you searched your mind for another question. Not wanting to keep her waiting, you asked the first one that came to your mind.

"So, uh..." you talked slowly, trying to avoid stuttering more, "You said that there are more...like you..."

"Yes, I did~"

"Well...where can one find them...? Like...is there a certain place you meet...?"

"Not really! Sometimes here, sometimes other places...as long as it's not crowded, where we can find small groups at a time, really! But, doll, y'know you could always come right back here if ya wanna see me again~" As she said this, you felt her on one of your shoulders and one of your cheeks.

"Wh-wha...?" your face flushed brightly, and just like that, the stuttering returned, "N-no, that's not it-! I-I was just curious!"

She chuckled, and you could hear it close to your ear. You let out a flustered squeak at the sound, trying to scoot away more and hitting the nightstand, causing your candle to wobble. You were immediately embarrassed at such a reaction. After trying your best to not seem scared of her, you just had to do that. All she was doing was teasing you! It wasn't that big a deal!

"Hey, hey! Careful there~" she said, clearly amused, as you felt her let go of you, "Did I startle ya? I'm sorry..."

"N-no, it's fine! It's fine!" you said quickly, waving your hands in front of you, "I-I'm..." you looked down in embarrassment, "...always like this..."

'I'm always like this'. You felt like you said that a lot. Whenever people apologized for making you freak out in any way, you'd say that to make them not feel bad. You never wanted anyone to feel bad for how you were...And that was the case even then. She wasn't just a ghost, she was someone who was being nice to you. And...you didn't wanna blow it.

Even if...there was a chance you'd never see her again...

"You really are such a cute little thing, doll..."

You were not expecting such a comment. You were about to disagree, when you once again felt your head being stroked lightly. "I really am sorry, y'know..." she said softly, "But I really just can't help myself...when ya look like this~..."

Her touches were always so light, it felt like they were barely grazing you. Yet, they never failed to make you go crazy. You couldn't explain why...Maybe because it was a sensation you weren't used to. You were always so distant, and averse to being touched...so, now that it was happening, it felt so foreign to you, so new...At first, you weren't sure if you liked it, but now...it was almost...comforting...

You fell into silence, sitting still as she pet you, your body relaxing bit by bit. "Do ya like that~?" she asked, voice still soft. "Awww...you really are like a kitten..."

Normally, words like that would be considered condescending...but this time, you didn't mind it. The thing you tried to disprove now didn't bother you at all. What was she doing to you?

"Stay like this for me~..." she crooned.

--- Oceans away from home Deep in the danger zone, I'll carry you ---

And so, you stayed like that, sitting with her in the dark old bedroom. And the longer you talked to her, the more you forgot why you were there. It felt like time had stood still. You lost track of exactly how long it had been, because you no longer cared. You just wanted to stay with her...

You continued asking each other questions for a bit, but even that little game was forgotten when she asked you what kind of things you like to do. You told her about your hobbies, describing your favorite things with enthusiasm. It was normally embarrassing how caught up in things you got, but with her, it wasn't. She sounded genuinely interested, and whenever you'd pause to let her speak, she'd tell you to continue. Even when she'd never heard of video games before, a testament to her age, and you had to try and explain what they were to the best of your ability, it never seemed like you lost her interest. On the contrary, she sounded very impressed that such things existed.

All the while, her feather-light touches continued grazing you...On your head, your face, your arms, your back...all over. Every single one assuring you that you weren't acting like a little kid talking to an imaginary friend...this was real. She was real.

The first time you cracked a smile at her, she immediately took note of it. "What a cute smile you have~" she cooed, in a way that made your heart flutter.

Her voice, which had once frightened you, now had a different effect on you altogether. Once you accepted her, you realized just how good it sounded...Playful, yet sweet and comforting at the same time...and able to switch to smooth and sultry at the drop of a hat. The things she said to you where things you had only dreamed of before, and her giggles and chuckles were like music to your ears. How could you ever have been scared of her?

She was like your dream come true...and yet, there was something missing. Something that increasingly bothered you.

As you talked, you tried your hardest to try and see where she was. Maybe she wasn't completely invisible to you...maybe there was some way you could see her. You tried squinting your eyes. You tried looking for extra shadows cast by the light of your candle. But nothing worked. You saw nothing.

The fact that you met someone like this, who made you so happy, but you couldn't see her...It felt so longing...

You tried to fill the gaps in your mind, by imagining a beautiful woman before you. She was tall, had gorgeous eyes, and wore a playful smirk on her face as she teased you. But, as much as you liked that image...that was only in your head. Was it right to project your desires onto her? Why did this bother you so much? You could still hear her, and feel her...that should be enough. She was a ghost. You shouldn't be expecting more...and yet...

"So~...what else do ya know about us?"

You were still sitting on the bed, having just finished a snack you had pulled out from your bag. You took a long gulp from your water bottle as you could feel her pressed against your back, and draped over your shoulders from behind, when she suddenly asked that.

"Huh? What else...?" you asked, taken aback, after you finished your drink.

"C'mon, toots, there's gotta be something else, and I can tell what~"

There was something you knew that you hadn't told her? What could that be? You thought you'd told her everything you'd heard, which wasn't much...but then it hit you, when you turned to look at your candle, still burning brightly.

"Light..." you mumbled.

"What about it?"

"I-I was told that...you don't like the light," you said, thinking back to what your friend's friend told you all, "That's why we all brought candles, instead of only a few of us..."

"Is that all~?" she asked you, sounding a bit excited.

"Yeah, it is..." you sighed, "When I said that I knew next to nothing, I meant it...S-sorry..."

"Don't be, doll..." she assured you, "I didn't expect ya to know everything..."

Was there something you didn't know, that you should know? Worry began flooding your mind as you thought it over. "Does the light...hurt you...at all?" you asked. You felt awful already...after all, she'd been around you for this long...Why didn't she tell you? You didn't wanna cause her any harm!

Once again, her chuckle rang in your ears. "No, it doesn't hurt at all!" You immediately breathed a sigh of relief, and a strand of your hair twirled in the air as she spoke, "You're so sweet, worryin' about a ghost like that...What did I ever do to deserve meetin' someone like you~?"

Your face flushed yet again, a sight that she was likely used to by that point. She was very skilled at making that happen. "I-I..." you began, but your voice trailed off. 'I should be the one asking that'. That's what you were about to say...but you stopped yourself. Were you worried about coming off as cheesy, or...did you not want to spill out too much of your feelings to her at once? That's what you always avoided doing...and now that you found yourself liking her, you were really cautious about your words. Opening up was not easy for you. "Th-that's good," you started over. "I wouldn't really call myself sweet, though..."

"Well, I would, and I'll say it over and over again until you believe me~"

You hang your head, looking down at your lap as you picked at your fingers nervously. "I-I'm not sure if I could believe you..." you said timidly, "Because...you don't know me well enough..."

"But I know enough!" you felt her touch trail down your cheek, slowly, "Enough to tell you're nothin' but sweet...Oh so sweet~..."

You didn't know how to respond to that. Yet again, she said something that no one else had ever told you before. The idea of someone like you - antisocial, cowardly - being seen as "sweet" in any way was a foreign concept to you. Normally, you would brush comments like those off, excusing them as being made by people who didn't know what you were really like...or, in some cases, you'd think it was creepy. But with Spinel, it was different. For some reason...hearing her praise you made you feel good, and...you wanted to believe her.

"You are right about one thing, though! It's true that I don't like that candle of yours~" she continued, as she twirled your hair, "And while I already just love bein' here with you...to really make me happy, you could blow it out..."

That comment caught you off guard. She wanted you to blow out your candle? Well, it did make sense, she was a ghost and all...But, if light didn't hurt her, then she didn't really have a reason to want it out, right? She should be fine like this...and you were fine like this.

Was there something she wasn't telling you?

"Can ya do that for me~?"

You tried to process her odd request. "Put out my candle...?"

"Yeah...Right now~"

You looked over at said candle, still sitting on the nightstand next to you. The only source of light in the room. Meanwhile, she continued petting you and playing with your hair, making it hard to think. You liked being able to see where you were...but if putting it out would make her happier...would it be worth it?

--- Skipping the pain of death I'd like to steal your breath and make you new ---

"Why...?" you asked.

"Well, I don't wanna ruin the surprise~" she said, before her voice suddenly shifted into a whisper, right into your ear. It was a sound that sent shivers through your body. "But I promise, you'll like it~..."

Surprise? Did she mean...it wasn't just for her comfort? Something would happen if you did so? But what...?

For a moment, it was tempting, and you almost reached for it...but something stopped you. Was it fear? Were you getting scared again...? You thought back to what the guy had said when he handed out candles to all of you. He had said to keep your candles with you at all times. Normally, you would've thought that was just so you could see, but from the way he said it, you knew that wasn't the only reason. You didn't really believe him, but now that you knew he was right, and the place really was haunted...was there something else he had known? You regretted not asking him any more.

And she wasn't telling you. You wanted so badly to trust her, but her not giving a straight answer made your mind go in a direction you didn't like...

"I-I don't wanna get lost in the dark, sorry..." you finally answered. Immediately, you felt a sinking feeling in your chest, hating refusing her request. You tried to shake it off, wanting to believe it was the right choice. After all, without your candle burning, you wouldn't be able to find your way out. You were so unfamiliar with this house, and it was so big...

The petting stopped. And unlike before, you didn't want it to.

"You won't do it?"

Her voice was still soft, but there was something...different about it. Something that made the mood instantly change. You tried to tell yourself it was just in your head. After all, you often felt like situations were often worse than they really were! You were fine...There was no reason to be tense.

"But why?" she asked, her touch still light on the top of your head. Your heart began beating through your ears. "It's so easy to do!"

"I just- I don't-" you stuttered, trying to put together a coherent sentence, "I don't like being in the dark, th-that's all-"

"You still don't trust me...do you?" she interrupted, her voice becoming firmer with each word. "After all I did...all I said..."

She'd never sounded like that when talking to you before. Was she...irritated? Your heartbeat accelerated, and not with joy. You didn't like this feeling. "I-I do trust you..." you said. That didn't come out sounding the way you wanted it to. You were too shaky and nervous.

"But you're not bein' honest with me. You're still scared of me...Ya want me to go away?" She completely stopped touching you.

"No!" you immediately yelped at that, beginning to panic.

"Then go on, I'm LISTENING..."

You had really, really messed up. She was mad at you. She was...mad at you...

"I-I'm telling the truth! I don't like the dark, and it has nothing to do with you, I promise! I promise!" you talked quickly, your eyes darting around the room in vain. You didn't know why you were looking. You knew you wouldn't see anyone. "I-is there anything else you want me to do for you? J-just tell me! I'll do it!"

There was no answer.

The sinking feeling worsened.

Silence filled the room, the only sound being from your thumping heart. "Sp...Spinel...?" you called out weakly. No answer.

No...this wasn't happening...There was no way she left you...She had said she wasn't going to...That as long as you were here...But now, not only could you not see her...but you couldn't hear her, and you couldn't feel her. It truly felt like she wasn't there with you anymore.

"Spinel...?" you repeated, louder and louder, panic rising. "Spinel!?"

When you had first encountered her, you wanted her to leave you alone. But now, after finally getting granted that wish...you were crying out her name like a scared child. After so long of talking to her, feeling her presence around you like a warm blanket, you felt so alone...so empty...

"Spinel? Y-you're still here, right!? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

With every second of silence, you felt more and more alone.

"P-please...d-don't..." your voice started shaking more and more. "N-no..."

A lump had risen into your throat. It felt like you were going to cry. This wasn't what you wanted. Not at all. But...perhaps this was what you deserved, after denying such a simple request. If that was a test of trust in her, then you had failed. Now you were paying the price.

You messed up, like usual. She had been so good to you. It didn't matter if she was a ghost. She had been kind, accepting, patient, maybe even loving...and you drove her away. Why were you always like this? Why was everything about you so terrible?

You tried to fight back the tears welling up in your eyes as you leaned forward, putting your face in your hands. "Spinel..." you whimpered, almost barely audibly. You began trembling, feeling more vulnerable then ever before.

You deserved this. You deserved this. You deserved this-

Suddenly, you felt something stroking your head, and heard a sweet, gentle voice echo through the room.

"Don't cry, doll..."

The voice that had once instilled fear in you, was now the thing you wanted to hear more than ever. And feeling her there once again, assuring you that you were still not alone, no matter how you felt, and what you saw, or rather, couldn't see...the tears still brimmed in your eyes, but out of pure, sheer relief.

"Yeah...that's right, I'm still here, babydoll...shhh, shhh, don't cry, I'm here~"

The previous frustration you had heard in her voice was now completely gone, as if it had never happened. However, you were still cautious with trying to put together the words you wanted to say to her. There was no way she wasn't still mad at you. Just because you started crying doesn't change anything, you told yourself. She could just be doing this to calm you down, that's all.

But, even though you were guilty for cracking open like this...you finally realized that you didn't want her to leave.

You slowly lifted your head out of your hands. "D-don't...scare me like that..." you weakly whined, sniffling.

"Awww, did ya think I left ya all alone? I'm so very sorry...I wouldn't do that to ya~! I told ya I wouldn't be leavin' your side, and I meant it~"

Her words made you feel warm inside, like you were melting. She didn't leave? And she wouldn't? Even when..."I-I'm the one who's sorry..." you said, your words shaky, "I messed up, and made you think I-I didn't...trust you...Y-you have the right to wanna leave, it's fine, I-"

"I'm your best friend~" she interrupted you, while continuing to stroke your head, another touch softly gliding up your arm, "And I'll be here for you, when no one else will~...I'll never abandon you, no matter what'cha say to me..."

"S-so...you're not mad at me...?" you asked, hopeful.

"I'm not...Just a lil' bit frustrated at first, but I get like that a lot. Don't feel bad, OK? It's not your fault...I did jump on ya a bit...but you forgive me, dont'cha?"

You quickly nodded while letting out a long breath in relief. You were a little embarrassed for jumping to conclusions, but she wasn't mad, and she was still here. You were always so scared of saying no to people you liked, in fear that they would take offense to it. But she didn't...and you were so happy.

You wiped your eyes with a hand, sniffling more...and then jolted in surprise when you suddenly felt her touch one of your bare thighs.

--- Live beyond this divide I promise you the other side ---

"Kitten~..."

Her voice once again took on the lower tone from before...the sweetness was still present, but it was now coupled with something else, something...darker. Once again, a shiver traveled up your spine at the sound.

"Are ya happy right now?" Her touch trailed up your thigh, stopping just before it would travel under your shorts. "Or~...do ya want more? Do ya feel like something's...missing~?"

Her smooth words carried a lot of weight, and you tried to think on them, though it was hard in your current state. Something missing? Your mind once again wandered to the thing you wanted most - to see her. But you knew that would never happen, so you decided not to mention it. You didn't want to bring up your hopeless desire. After experiencing that feeling of panic when you thought she had left, you realized that things like that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was there.

Hearing her voice, feeling her ghostly hands on you...It really did make you happy. And that embarrassed you, but you couldn't deny it anymore.

"I'm...happy..." you muttered quietly.

"Are ya sure? You can tell me the truth, y'know..." she crooned, her echoing voice sounding almost ethereal to you, "I wanna do anything to make ya feel good, doll~..."

It felt like you were growing weaker as she spoke to you, so much that the fact she didn't believe you barely registered at first. You just wanted her to keep talking...to keep chasing away those worries and self-doubt that had taken over your mind and made you cry shortly before. You didn't wanna think of anything else...

"Anything~..."

Her touch trailed across your thigh, moving inwards...You inhaled sharply and jolted in shock once again, pressing your legs together tighter. "S-Spinel-" you stuttered, trying to piece together what just happened...Even if it wasn't much, no one had ever touched you in such a way before! Your cheeks flushed brighter than ever before. "Wh-what are y-you-!?"

"I wanna know everything about you~" she crooned, as she stroked your thigh ever so softly, "All your high points, all your low points...all the good and bad things about you...all your secrets, all your dreams...Nothin' is too much for me, doll...No more holdin' back, OK? I don't want ya to hide anything from me~..."

Your breath hitched, and goosebumps rose on your skin at her touch. You didn't have it in you to tell her to stop, so you simply sat there, taking in the new sensation while trying your hardest to focus on what she was saying. "Wh-what's there to...say...?" you said, attempting a laugh, "I'm not very...interesting...! I-I don't really have...much to hide...!"

You were lying through your teeth. You hid many things from people. It was a habit to not share what you were feeling, and to bottle up your emotions. But you really did think you weren't interesting.

"I'll be the judge of that~" she said with a chuckle, "And I've enjoyed my time with you so, so much...So please, lemme hear everything...Anything that's eatin' at ya, so I can make it better~"

It was becoming harder and harder to think straight as she continued stroking your thigh, but you still tried to. Was there anything that she could do to make you happier? Was she implying...what you thought she was? No, there was no way...Yet, you got more shivers at the thought. What was she doing to you? And how do you respond to such a loaded question?

"I..." you said, your voice almost a whimper, "...don't think...there's anything more...y-you can do..."

"Just try me~..." she whispered, as her touch advanced further up...under your loose shorts. You couldn't help the noise that escaped you.

There's nothing she could actually do to you, you thought. She's a ghost. You can't see her...you can't...see her...but...

"B-but..."

"I can give ya everything ya want...Just tell me, doll...Tell me~" Her stroking continued, her touch lingering on your sensitive skin. If it were anyone else doing this, you would've moved away and told them to stop. But it was her, and though you were flustered at her actions, a large part of you wanted her to keep going...Despite the fact that you knew she couldn't go further, you just wanted this...

This was all you wanted to think about.

"I-I..." you tried to speak, coming out as barely above a whisper, "I'm happy enough...just, um...b-being with you..." You closed your eyes in embarrassment, feeling your cheeks get even warmer. It took a lot of willpower for you to say that. You never thought you would admit that. It was the first time you made it clear that you enjoyed her company. With that, you officially stopped resisting her. Regret filled your mind, and you worried if that was the wrong thing to say. Would it have been better if you had kept denying it? Were you coming off as...desperate?

"That's all? You're sure that this is all ya want, huh?" she asked softly, "You're too cute..." You shivered again as you felt her lightly touch your cheek, "Dont'cha worry, toots...As long as you're here, I'll be with you..."

You sighed, taking in her soothing touch and words. The way she treated you still seemed so surreal...She made you feel a way you had never felt before. None of your other friends had ever affected you like she did. It was as if...you were in love.

"...So stop lyin' to me."

Her voice suddenly shifted once again, becoming firmer. Your heart skipped a beat, and the calm you were in faded away as quickly as it had started. "L-lying? I'm not-!" you began.

"LIAR!" she interrupted, raising her voice. You flinched, your voice getting caught in your throat. She yelled at you...You didn't understand what you did. She said she wasn't mad at you, right?

Your breaths became shaky in your panic, but her touch never left you. She trailed up and down your thigh, gently, softly..."Ya say ya don't want more, but you do..." she spoke softly once again, but without the soothing air from before. The atmosphere had become tense, to the point where it seemed like she could lash out again at any moment. "I don't like bein' taken for a fool, kitten. Even if ya can't say it, I can see it all over your pretty face..."

Your heartbeat was racing, her every word hitting you so hard you could almost feel the impact. She knew you were hiding something from her...but you had accepted that what you desired couldn't happen, so you didn't think you would admit it. And what else was there? Your mind scrambled to think of something to say...but she didn't give you the chance.

"That's right, I know~...I know what you're feelin'...You don't wanna just be best friends..."

When she said that, it felt like time had stood still. Your mouth opened, but you had no reply. Your brain was flatlining as she continued working her magic, giving a dark chuckle.

"Hit the bullseye, didn't I~?" she purred, once again sounding close to your ear. All that you could muster in response was a barely audible whimper.

Hearing her say that...It was something that hadn't crossed your mind, but was it true? Did you really desire to be...more to Spinel? Is that why you felt so strange around her? Why you opened up to her? Did you have feelings for her? Did she really see through you so easily, that she could identify something like that before you yourself did? Or was she simply telling you how to feel? That small part of you that was still wary, told you that there was no way she was right...

But the way your heart was pounding...The way the warmth in your body rose when she touched you...and how empty you felt when she let go...

While you were trying to piece yourself together, she went back to stroking your flushed cheek, the touch on your thigh still lingering as well. "A bit tongue-tied? Awww..." she continued, "It's OK, doll...I know it's hard...You're scared of spillin' your guts to anyone, after bein' pushed around so much...But it's OK, I'm happy...I'm sorry I yelled at ya...I'm so, so very happy that ya feel that way about me~!" you felt something lightly press against your forehead, "'Cause, guess what~? I feel the same~..."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. She...couldn't have been telling the truth. There was no way someone like her could ever feel that way about you...But...the way she talked to you, the petnames she gave you...that wasn't completely a friend thing. You had tried to convince yourself that she was just really playful, but now, after she said that...No. This couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening. Not to you...

"I haven't felt this way in such a long, long time~...I can't get enough of ya, darlin'~...You're wonderful~..."

You whimpered, your entire body flushing in a way it never had before. You felt like you could start sweating at any time. Was this...anxiety? No, you knew what anxiety felt like, and this wasn't it. Hearing her praise you like that...it made you feel weak, lighter than air...

...But that nagging voice in the back of your mind wouldn't shut up.

"Mmmm, so, so sweet~" she whispered, her touch wandering under your shorts, towards your inner thigh...You inhaled sharply, causing her to chuckle slightly. "You like that~?" she cooed.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Your heart pounded through your ears.

This wasn't right. You had only just met her that night. And...she was a ghost. You could never...

"Did that make ya happy~? Did I make ya feel good~? Awwww, that's great! Don't be nervous, let it all out..."

Even after you'd opened up to her, confided in her...you'd been completely blind to your own feelings. But she wasn't. She had caught on...and told you she felt the same. Through your amount of disbelief...yes, you were happy. She made you immensely happy. As you sat there, speechless, you kept replaying that one thing she'd said in your head: "I feel the same."

You wanted so badly to believe her... You wanted so badly to tell her everything...how she made you feel... But still...there was something missing...and a part of you remained wary of her, telling you to stay on guard.

"Do ya want me to keep goin'? Touchin' ya like this~?" she crooned, "Do ya wanna be distracted from all the awful, awful things outside~? To stay here with me, and think of nothin' else~?"

You whimpered again as she continued speaking to you, her smooth voice offering you something that sounded like a pleasant dream. At this point, you had almost forgotten why you were even here. It didn't matter anymore...

"Does that sound good~? Lettin' me chase all those bad thoughts away~?"

You closed your eyes, your breath quickening. "Y...yes..."

"Good~..." she whispered, that one simple word sending more shivers through you. "You're so good, doll...Now, let me in~...Show me you're not scared anymore~"

This wasn't right. But...it felt so good. You tried your hardest to push the fear into the farthest corner of your mind. Spinel wouldn't mislead you. There was no reason to be afraid. You took a slow breath, and slowly, you parted your legs.

"That's it~" she purred, and you instantly felt her brush against your inner thighs where even the lightest touch sent pleasant tingles through your body. You put a hand over your mouth to stifle your whimper at the sensation. She hummed, which let you know she was enjoying herself. "Didn't I tell ya not to hold back from me? Let me know how I'm doin', OK?" she asked, in an almost innocent way. "Take ya hand off ya mouth," she added firmly. You noticed that her accent got stronger the more aggressive her voice was. Another detail about her that you found yourself liking.

You did as she asked, and were rewarded when she trailed up further. The more she touched you there, the more you wanted it. Your body begged for more, to feel her more than you were. Was it not possible? At least you were lucky to feel her at all. On your cheek, she kept stroking, and soon, you were completely melting under her touch...a whimpering, squirming mess.

Your breath hitched, and without meaning to, you began rolling your hips against the mattress beneath you. It was astounding, the hold she had on you. "Y'know, I've always wanted my very own...pet~" she said, the amount of breathiness in her voice making her sound very exhilarated, "Someone to call mine~..."

Those words made it worse. You whined, squirming more, desperately trying to feel her more physically. You couldn't. The touches were light as ever. It drove you crazy. It was the best feeling of your life, but at the same time, it didn't feel right. Something was building inside you, but it felt...longing. "S-Spinel..." you breathed out her name, "Please...help..." you whimpered.

"Hm~? But I'm doin' all I can, babe! Unless~..."

She trailed up even further...as far as she could to your crotch. You felt an unfamiliar tingle there. You let out a small peep at that, being far beyond the point of resisting. You were so glad no one else was there...

...But it still wasn't enough. It was so light, just to the point of getting a reaction, but not strong enough to bring you to where you wanted to go. She was such a tease...

"Keep makin' those noises...I like it~"

Soon, it became unbearable. You squeezed your eyes shut and whimpered a bit louder, your desperation reaching its pitch. Your body was so warm, you felt like you could start sweating. Her teasing was driving you mad, and the things she was saying weren't helping in the slightest.

"Sweet little doll, if only you could see what I can...You're so pretty with your face all pink like that..."

You had always had an image in your head of this kind of perfect moment. The kind of intimacy you had never thought you would ever receive...Melting under the command of someone beautiful, sweet praises muttered to you in a voice you couldn't resist...just like this. Your heart racing, just like this. Your breath taken away, just like this. You, in your desperation for more, clinging to them, not wanting to let go...

In the heat of the moment, you raised both your hands in front of you...but there was nothing there. You grasped at the air, whining pathetically.

You opened your eyes...but you saw nothing. You saw no one looking back at you.

And you finally broke down.

"Stop..." you whispered, your voice shaking. When she didn't respond, continuing to touch you, you repeated yourself a bit louder. "S-stop...!"

She listened to you and stopped, removing herself from you entirely. You found yourself immediately missing her touch. "What's wrong?" she asked softly, sounding concerned.

You took a shaky breath as you came down from the emotional high once again, and wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep the warmth from dying. "I..." you whimpered, "I-I can't..."

You couldn't bring yourself to finish the thought. It was just too painful for you...too much to bear...But it felt like you couldn't hold it in anymore.

No matter how much you loved talking to her...no matter how much you loved the feelings she gave you...there was a desire within you that couldn't be satisfied. Something inside that craved things you couldn't have. And you hated it. Why did things have to be this way?

She had told you that she felt the same...and yet, you could never truly be held in her arms. You could never look into her eyes. You could never see her smiling back at you. You could never bury your face in her chest, feeling safe and sound. And you could never feel the magical sensation of being taken by her.

Even her voice, which you loved listening to...the way it echoed made her sound far away...out of your reach...

You shuddered, feeling your eyes well up with tears of frustration. But then, you felt her once more, brushing against your shoulder. "Hey..." she whispered, "It's OK, I'm here for you~"

"B-but...I can't..." you attempted to speak, while choking back the lump rising in your throat. She stroked your upper arm in what would normally be a soothing fashion, but instead, it only reminded you of your anguish. Finally, it was too much. "I can't see you!" you cried out, a sob following after. "I-I wanna trust you, and...and I wanna believe everything you've told me...but...I can't see you and it kills me! I-I can barely even feel you...!" you sobbed louder, "I-I wanna see you! I wanna see you!" With every word that tumbled out of your mouth, it was harder to hold back the tears, and they spilled out. You covered your face, not wanting her to see you like that.

For a moment, the only sound in the room was your sobs. She was still touching your arm, so you knew she was still there, but she was completely silent. It was just as you feared - she didn't want to hear that.

You shouldn't have said anything. You should've kept it to yourself. You were an expert at keeping things to yourself, so why did you do that? Why were you so needy? Did she think you were ungrateful now? That wasn't true...you were so happy you met her...

Why did the most perfect person you ever met have to be a ghost...?

--- Abandon light inside of you You're ascending now And breaking through Nothing living's ever true ---

In the midst of your regret-filled thoughts, she spoke again.

"Doll...Hold out your hand~"

Her words were soft and smooth as always, which surprised you. Was she not bothered by what you'd said? Did she not mind at all, even as you cried? You felt a bit of relief wash over you. You had been so worried about her reaction...like she'd take offense to it. But you should've expected better from her...After all, no one else had treated you like this before. There was no one else like Spinel...

You uncovered your face and did as you were told, holding out one of your hands in front of you. You gasped softly when you suddenly felt something lightly pressing against your palm. You tried your hardest to identify how it felt...it was light, yet you thought you could almost feel a softness.

"Right there..." she said softly.

You could feel yourself melting inside. That was her...you were actually touching her...It was a small thing, yet it made you feel so happy to be able to do one of the things you yearned for. "Spi...nel..." you choked out her name, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. You wanted so badly to throw yourself into her arms...

"Your hand feels so good in mine, doll~" she cooed at you gently, "Dry those tears for me, OK? I'll stay like this for as long as ya need..."

You didn't move your hand at all, savoring the moment. Once again, you had to remind yourself that this was reality and not a dream. You brought your other hand to your face, wiping the tears away as best you could, sniffling. "Sorry..." you mumbled, feeling embarrassed. That was two times now that you've cried in front of her.

"It's OK...I understand...This is hard for me, too~" she said, as she gently caressed your cheek once again, "I'm the one who should be apologizin'...I wanna make ya feel as special as I see you...But, sadly, this is all I can do..."

This was hard for her, too? Was she just as frustrated as you were, and just didn't show it? Well, she must be used to living like that...but still, from the way she said that, it didn't sound like it fazed her at all. Was she just taking pity on you? Still...you wanted to believe her words. Every single one...She really did make you feel special.

"But..." she said, "There is a way that can change...A way that I can be with you even more~"

Your eyes widened in surprise when she said that. "Even...more...?" What does she mean? Was there a way around your problem after all? You were immediately curious. It was one of your flaws - jumping to conclusions, getting your hopes up over ambiguous comments. "Wh-what's that...?" you asked.

Her answer was simple, but the way she said it gave it a lot of weight...and importance.

"Blow out the candle..."

You felt a sinking feeling in your gut. Once again, it came to that - your candle, still burning on the nightstand next to you. Your source of light. Your crutch. She'd requested this before, and you had refused. That had made her upset, and you hated it. Would you dare do that again?

You fell silent as she held your cheek, lightly stroking it. "You heard me..." she crooned, "Just blow out that candle, and I promise to take care of you~"

Your face flushed at those words. It was such a simple request...but what would actually happen afterward? What was she hiding from you? Why did thinking of that make you so nervous? You had told her you weren't scared anymore...but did you lie to both her and yourself?

"B-but..." you stuttered, not moving a muscle, "I...I can't..."

"You can~..." she responded, "We can have so much fun in the dark...You and me, together, alone~..."

"But...we're already together..." you protested weakly, "...just...like this...I-I'll get used to it..."

"Ya don't have to, though! Y'see..." her voice dipped lower again, sounding close to your ear, "I can give ya what ya want most~"

Goosebumps rose all over your skin, and a small peep escaped your lips. It wasn't just her voice, but what she said. What you want...most? Could it be...Was it true?

"W-will I...b-be able to...see you...?" you asked.

For a moment, there was complete silence. The only thing you could hear was the pounding in your chest. Just the thought of being able to see her...After you had convinced yourself it was impossible...You couldn't help it. Your body was acting out in excitement, and you couldn't calm down. "Spinel...?" your voice was a high-pitched squeak. You tried not to seem desperate, but her lack of an answer was making your thoughts race.

Her dark chuckle filled the air, making you shiver. "Why dont'cha find out~?" she finally responded, "C'mon, don't keep me waitin', doll~..."

Once again, she didn't give you a straight answer, and it drove you mad. She was such a tease, through and through...You should've known that by now. She always knows what to do to coax you further and further, until you're a mess once more. But this...this time was different.

This time, her teasing was making you...wary.

"Blow out the candle~" she repeated, "Do it for me~"

You wanted to obey her, and put out the candle. But...would you like what would happen? If it did cause you to see her, even in the darkness...Would you truly like what you see?

It felt like she knew you inside and out...but you two had only just met today. There was so much about her you didn't know. You didn't know what kind of things she was truly capable of...the things she could do in the dark.

What if she was...tricking you?

That one thought made you feel sick. No, no, there was no way. She had treated you better than even your friends have. She even showed concern for you. That had to be genuine.

But...what if she was too good to be true? What if she was actually...

A monster?

You clutched your chest with one of your hands, trying to keep your nerves in check. You had to stop thinking those awful thoughts. Being walked over all your life had made you a nervous wreck. Of course something like this would seem "too good to be true".

Spinel wouldn't hurt you. Spinel wouldn't lie to you. Spinel made you feel things you thought you had forgotten how to feel.

"Are you OK?" she asked, "Are you...scared?"

"N-no! No, I'm not scared!" you answered quickly, "I-I dunno what's wrong with me, but...I'm not scared...I-I don't wanna be scared!" You looked down at your lap, jiggling your leg anxiously. You hoped she wasn't hurt at all.

"Oh~? Then...are ya maybe...a bit nervous~?"

"I-I..." you began, but your voice trailed off. You didn't know how to respond to that. Of course you were nervous. You had no idea what would happen, good or bad. Even the thought of being able to cling to her solid form as she works an indescribable magic to you...was that something you deserved? Would you be good enough for her...?

Maybe you weren't just scared. Maybe you were also worried about...that...

"Don't worry about a thing...Just listen to me~" she purred, "Calm down, and let me adore you...Blow out the candle~..." her voice became a whisper, "Blow it out~..."

There was no way something big wouldn't happen. She was so adamant, repeating it over and over...and each time, it became harder to resist. The world around you blurred as she spoke to you. There was still a looming danger in the air, but you felt assured that she'd protect you from it.

You wanted to listen to her...you felt compelled to obey her every word...but your nerves were climbing, thinking about what could happen. You craved intimacy, but you were also afraid of it. If this really would allow you to see her, what would you do? Clam up? Become even more of a mess? You'd never done anything like this before...you didn't wanna disappoint her...

While you thought about that, your heart raced in your chest, and your breath quickened. No doubt, she noticed this. Her touch trailed down your cheek to your chin, gently tilting it upwards. You could imagine her looking into your eyes. "C'mon, darlin', don't chicken out on me now...I know you're excited...I know how much ya need me~..."

You whimpered in response, words escaping you. She chuckled, and you felt her grab your arm, as if holding you in place. You closed your eyes, shivering.

"This isn't just for me...This'll be for you~" she continued, "This'll be for your happiness...That's all I'm after, doll...I saw how ya reacted when ya thought I'd left you...It hurt me so, so much to see that! I never want ya to feel like that ever again...I never want ya to be...abandoned ever again. Those friends of yours, they led ya to me...and now ya don't need 'em anymore. You deserve so much better~..." Her sweet words swirled in your head, making it hard to think.

Your...friends...Oh yeah, that was originally why you came here. It was to wait for your friends. How could you have forgotten? How long has it even been since that had last crossed your mind? It felt like so long since you'd last seen them...You remember being so worried that they'd forgotten about you, and then you went and forgot about them. Why did you...you...

That small blip of guilt you felt left as soon as it had come when she continued speaking.

"I wanna give ya someone who will listen to you...Someone who will never leave ya behind...Someone who will love you, so you never have to be lonely again...That's what ya want, right~? So please...give me the chance to save you...I may be a ghost, but if ya blow out that candle...I can make ya feel alive, doll~"

Alive...That one word carried so much importance. And made you think thoughts that you'd be ashamed to share. Your body heated up, and you tried to stay calm. She was right. You never wanted to be lonely again. You had been fine being an outcast, but being here made you realize just how starved for affection you were. And now that you had gotten a taste of it, you never wanted to go back. You're not sure you'd be able to.

But it wasn't just that. You didn't wanna seek out just anyone to belong to. You wanted...her. Spinel. The first one who'd ever treated you like this. Even if it was a trick, you didn't care. You never wanted to let this go. As long as you were with her, you'd be happy. You'd happily play the fool for her as many times as you could.

When she finished speaking, she let go of you. You let out some deep breaths, your heart just about ready to burst out of your chest. You didn't have much time to clear your head, as you soon felt her touch your back, in what felt like a really soft nudge forward...toward the nightstand, and your candle.

"So do it..." she said darkly, almost menacingly.

Without a word, you opened your eyes and reached for your candle with your shaking hand. Once you came close, your nerves came back briefly, and you hesitated.

You didn't know what she was capable of. You didn't know what would happen. The warning you had been given all that time ago repeated in your head. Ghosts don't like the light. It repels them, and makes them harmless. Darkness is where they thrive, and putting out your candle would be surrendering to them.

You pushed those thoughts out of your mind. You wouldn't let someone else tell you how to view her. You knew her now, and you trusted her...

...And so, you'd surrender.

You breathed heavily as you finally picked up your candle, bringing it to your face. "That's it, doll, that's it~" she cooed at you encouragingly, "You're almost there~"

You could feel the warmth of the flame on your face as you brought it closer. It felt nice. It was as if it was silently pleading you to reconsider what you were about to do to it. You basked in the warmth for a few seconds, as you gathered all the courage you had...

And you finally blew it out with a single breath.

The room filled with darkness. You squeezed your eyes shut, shivering and whimpering softly, bracing yourself for whatever could happen. Your courage melted away as fear and regret filled your mind...but that didn't last long.

You gasped when something cupped your cheek. It was...a hand. Cold, yet soft and gentle. And unlike anything you'd ever felt before. Before you could react, a familiar voice spoke to you, sounding closer and more real than ever.

"It's gonna be OK, doll~..."

It was like a tremor running through your body. The warmth in your face rose, the feelings almost overwhelming. Your heart fluttered in your chest in anticipation. In that moment, nothing else mattered to you. There was nothing else to think about...no one else to worry about. You were right where you wanted to be.

You slowly opened your eyes...and your candle, now useless, was dropped to the floor.

#fics by lauri #yandere tw-////

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heyyylittlemo · 4 years

Text

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

#tag game #game #ask #19 days #19days

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ofwizardsandmen · 5 years

Photo

Maybe

College AU

Maybe being more than just friends with isn’t as impossible as their insecurities made them believe every other day.

Pairing: Tara x Mark

Word count: 2k

The smell of freshly roasted coffee beans hits Tara’s nostrils as soon as she walks into M’s café. It’s early in the morning and the place is almost empty except for —obviously and as per usual— M, a girl in the far end corner of the shop and a middle-aged man standing by the cashier.

Tara takes her spot in her favorite table next to the wall and starts placing her stuff on the table when the entrance door flies open and a hooded figure trots in. A smile forms on Tara’s lips but vanishes when the man pushes the hood, revealing blond strands of hair. Huffing in disappointment, she pouts slightly and goes back to the task of taking her laptop off her vintage Dior mini travel bag. Yet, she’s interrupted once again when the blond guy greets her from the counter

“Hi, Tara, what can I serve you today?” Sungjae doesn’t say it, but Tara swears he feels tempted to ask what’s wrong with her face because she’s fully aware of how deadly pale and sick she looks this morning.

“A double espresso, please.” She says simply as she opens her laptop. “With a spoon of arsenic, if possible” She adds, making Sungjae and herself chuckle.

“Ugh, sorry. Still haven’t found a way to merge the coffee shop with a dark apothecary” M joins the conversation once the middle-aged man picks his coffee and walks out. “It’s just 8 am, it might not be that bad”

“Do you even know who my brother is-?” Tara begins and Sungjae groans at the simple mention of Tyler Lee

“Ok, correction” He interrupts “It can be that bad”

Tara nods in agreement and places her elbows on the table “It was and I truly believed it’d be better now that he’s a university student, but he’s worse” She lets out a deep sigh before she returns to her laptop and Sungjae moves to prepare her coffee, but M remains on the very same spot looking at her hesitantly, as though he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t push himself to.

Noticing his eyes on her, Tara contemplates the options. She could as well say nothing, move on and continue to feel miserable or she could talk to someone —M, for example—, get things off her chest and be miserable afterward.

“To the hell with it, I hate Tyler, he’s just so freaking immature and believes I’m some dumb teenager who doesn’t know what she’s doing or is stupid enough to let people take advantage of her.” Tara almost feels as though the heavy burden that stopped her from breathing properly has finally been released, but the feeling is short-lived once the memories of the previous night assault her thoughts for the umpteenth time that day. “And he is so rude. I am so embarrassed he’s my brother. Can I die so I don’t have to go to class?” She whines, burying her face in her hands.

“Wow, I didn’t know it was this bad” M meditates his words for a brief moment before going on “I wouldn’t know since I don’t have any sisters, but maybe he just feels responsible for whatever happens to you, so-“

“So he had to embarrass me in front of my-“ Another word is about to come off Tara’s lips, but she stops herself “my classmate”

A small knowing smile makes its way onto M’s lips, but Tara is already too engrossed in telling the story of how her brother made a scene after finding Mark in her apartment, to notice.

“I don’t know what he has in that perverted brain of his, but we were literally studying, we were doing the whole table full of books and cup of coffee in hand, and he still had the nerve to accuse Mark of planning and I quote him “take advantage of my innocence”. What am I? A 4-year-old?” Tara vents, huffing every once in a while to express her frustration. “Mark probably hates me now” she sighs this time “Tyler was awful to him, I wouldn’t blame him if he never wants to hang out with me again”

“Oh, come on, have you ever seen the way he-“ Sungjae stops mid-sentence and trying to act as casual as the slight blush on his face allows him to, he places the cup of coffee on the counter. “I mean, no. Why would you think that?”

“Because Mark was supposed to be here to finish our group assignment, like half of an hour ago and he’s nowhere to be seen, so-“

“He probably overslept” M interrupts this time as he places the coffee on Tara’s table.

“He’s never late,” Tara says matter-of-factly. “I even came late on purpose”

“Maybe he forgot?” Sungjae ventures from the cashier.

“Maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with someone who is treated like a little child by her idiotic brother?”

“Oh, come on Tara” M clicks his tongue reprovingly “Where’s your positive mindset?”

“Buried along with my will to live and my dignity,” Tara says after sipping from the cup of coffee. “And the chances to keep Mark as a friend”

“I don’t think Mark had taken him too seriously” M chuckles, holding back the desire to tell Tara that probably the last thing Mark wants is to keep her as a mere friend, but he would never ghost her for such dumb incident.

Not like he knows him a whole lot either, but judging by all the times he has seen them at the cafe together, it appears to him (and everybody really) that Mark has the biggest crush on Tara.

“It is painfully obvious how little you know Tyler and how much you trust people’s good intentions” Tara comments.

“No, I mean, he’s about to walk in” M says, pointing outside with his chin.

Seconds later Mark steps into the coffee shop rubbing his hands and shuddering the slightest bit. M mutters something under his breath that sounds a lot like “good luck” and walks away, leaving Tara to panic internally on her own.

The young woman pretends not to notice Mark’s presence and instead she fake reads something from the screen of her laptop.

“Hey” Mark skips a more cordial greeting, but Tara ignores it because she keeps pondering whether she should say something about what happened last night or not “I’m sorry I’m late, Jaehyun and I went to the gym and I really needed a shower,” he says touching his nape clumsily.

The thought of Mark being unable to look at her in the eyes briefly crosses her mind, but Tara doesn’t want to deal with the implications just now, so she forces herself to look up and plaster a smile on her face.

“Oh, it’s fine. I just got her-” Tara lies, but whatever she was planning to say next dies in her throat the moment she makes a double-take and notices Mark’s wet hair sticking to his forehead. “Uh- shall we start working? We only have like two hours to finish Mr. Vincent’s paper and-“

“Well, yes I wanted to talk about it-“ Mark says, pulling a folder from his messenger bag and placing it on the table “I already completed it with the info you got yesterday. You can read it and make corrections if you wish.”

“Mark, you shouldn’t have-“ Tara doesn’t know if she’s reading the situation correctly, but it appears to her that Mark couldn’t bear the idea of working with her, so he decided to pull an all-nighter and avoid being stuck with her this morning. Frankly, it is understandable considering Tyler had threatened to “destroy his life” (whatever that meant) if he ever saw him near his sister again, but that doesn’t stop Tara from feeling a void in the chest.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. We all stayed up last night at the frat” Mark says, pulling an empty chair out the table.

Tara unconsciously bits the inside of her cheek before picking the cup of coffee and downing its content as Mark sits across.

The strong flavor of the espresso almost feels sweet when it hits Tara’s palate. Or probably it is in comparison to the bitter taste that Mark’s words have left in her mouth.

“Jungwoo has a big exam this morning and we wanted to show support.” Mark’s smile is so disheartening to watch that Tara distracts herself closing the laptop and taking her coin purse out of her pocket “I even started the assignment for the Modern British drama course.”

“That’s great,” She says insincerely, hoping to make a smooth transition that allows her to leave without rising suspicion.

“Maybe you can read it later and give me your feedback” Mark suggests hopefully, his eyes widening slightly behind the round reading glasses he’s wearing this morning.

“Sure, why not?” Tara slides her laptop back in the Dior bag. “Since the assignment is done, I think I might get going, I promised Enzo I’d help him to study for a test” She stands up with as much grace as she can muster, which truthfully is not a whole lot given the sleepless night she went through. “I’ll see you later, Mark.”

“Tara, wait!” Mark’s voice even makes the girl in the back turn to look at him, but it takes him a few seconds to register he has moved to grab Tara’s hand in an attempt to stop her from leaving. “I was hoping we could hang out.“ He says after clearing his throat "I mean, we’ve been studying non stop the past weeks and-“ Once he notices Tara’s face flushing, he slowly releases her hand. “I thought we could… maybe… catch the morning screening of Little Women”

Tara unsuccessfully attempts to hide the excitement when she listens to the last two words, but she’s already beaming when she nods her head eagerly and claims she’d love to and that she had been planning to watch the movie with Enzo over the weekend. Mark’s face falls a bit after hearing that name for the second time, but he ignores the jab of jealousy kicking him in the gut.

“By the way…” Tara begins once she sits back down. She hesitates for a brief moment but eventually gathers the courage to go on. “I’m sorry about last night. My brother… he can be a real jerk sometimes.” She makes a pause and corrects herself after realizing that ‘sometimes’ is a bit of an understatement. “Better said, most of the time and I’m so-”

“Don’t even say it” Mark says solemnly, his face growing serious and eyes boring into hers. “It really wasn’t your fault and I might understand where he was coming from. It was really late and it wasn’t right for me to be there.”

“Mark, you are my friend and we were studying, it was more than ok for you to be there. You did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, right” Mark feels as though Tara had slapped him, but it is probably exactly the realization of being only a friend to her what makes him bold enough to say the next words “But what if he thought I wasn’t just a regular friend?”.

“It would still be off-limits for my brother to act like a jerk. In fact, if you were more than just a friend it would be even worse he treated you that way” Tara says the last sentence a bit too vehemently, making Mark smile widely.

He doesn’t add anything, but he thinks that perhaps Jaehyun and Johnny are not too mistaken when they affirm Tara wouldn’t say no if he asked her out.

Maybe being more than just friends with her isn’t as impossible as his insecurities made him believe every other day.

And maybe, just maybe, he is willing to put up with her brother and his meddling even if that means he will probably have to be on the receiving end of his wrath.

Maybe it all be worth if he gets to see Tara smiling brightly at him, like she is right now, every day.

#mark #story #tara #moodboard #otp #college au #oc #sungjae #m

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vexedtonightmares · 5 years

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La Fin Des Temps Chapter 19 (Elu Hogwarts AU)

Mardi 17:21 - “The chosen one”

Eliott had practically been living in Lucas’ dormitory since Friday night, and Lucas was glad for it. Thankfully, none of his roommates had complained about it, and it's not like they weren't already used to living with four other people and their pets anyway. What was one more?

Eliott also hadn’t been back to class yet, but he’d talked with the headmistress about the plans that had been made without his consent to send him to St. Mungo’s. She’d reluctantly agreed to let him stay at school and gave him a week long grace period to get back into the swing of things, not fully understanding how difficult that might be. At least it was something, Eliott had told Lucas before burying his head in Lucas’ chest the night before.

Lucas had been cautiously optimistic all weekend. He and Eliott had basically spent the entire day in bed on Saturday, not talking much, kissing every once and awhile, mostly just cuddling and falling asleep in each others arms. Eliott didn’t smile easily and Lucas knew not to take it personally, that this was something Eliott would have to go through, but at least he knew now that he wasn’t alone.

Sunday Eliott had felt good enough to move down to the common room, spending most of the day with his legs draped over Lucas or playing with Ouba while Lucas worked on his homework. The smiles were still few and far between, but when they came they lit up the entire room. Lucas did everything he could to make sure Eliott knew that he didn’t have to pretend at all, that he could let him know if things were too overwhelming or if he just wanted time to himself. Things had been so good on Sunday that Lucas had been unprepared for Monday.

He’d planned to skip his classes to stay with Eliott, but when they woke up in the morning, Eliott had snapped at Lucas and shut him out completely, leaving Lucas conflicted. On one hand, he wanted to be there for Eliott, but on the other, he didn’t want to smother him with unwanted attention. He’d eventually decided to go to class, leaving a note for Eliott and trying his best to get on with his day.

The boys had noticed his uneasy demeanor, and had encouraged him to take some time for himself. Yes, Eliott’s health and wellbeing was important, but so was Lucas’. He couldn’t put his entire life on hold to take care of Eliott who, from his earlier comments, hadn’t wanted to be taken care of all the time anyway. Basile had shared some more experiences about his life with his mother, and it had allowed Lucas to exhale and gain some insight into how he should approach their situation. The last thing he wanted to do was act like a parent to Eliott, but he still wasn’t certain how to strike a balance between caring too much and too little.

That night when he’d returned to his dormitory, Eliott had been absent, leaving a note that he was sleeping in his own room. Lucas’ heart had sunk upon reading it, but maybe it was a good thing. Maybe Eliott needed alone time to feel a bit more like himself. Fuck, Lucas really had no idea what he was doing. But that’s ok, he’d told himself. He didn’t have to know how to handle everything in his life perfectly all the time, as much as he wished he could.

By Tuesday morning, Lucas had still been a mess, but had accepted the fact that he may very well feel like that for quite some time. Maybe that made him less of a mess than he thought.

When he got back to his dormitory after classes he sent Eliott a simple message telling him that he hoped he was doing well and to let him know if he needed anything, hoping it would suffice. Arthur had said he’d been sleeping in the Ravenclaw dormitory all day, so Lucas wasn’t expecting a response, at least not a quick one.

He flopped back onto his bed and pressed his hands over his eyes, sighing deeply. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled mindlessly through his Instagram feed to distract himself.

He sat up in his bed as he looked at the last picture, posted from the account he and Eliott had made for Brian as a joke. The timestamp said that it had been posted minutes ago, which meant that Eliott was probably awake and, from the looks of it, on his phone. As if the thought had prompted a response, Lucas’ phone vibrated with a new message. He took a moment before looking at it, not wanting to appear like he had been staring at his phone waiting for a response.

srodulv: i’m doing ok. can we talk?

Lucas bit the inside of his cheek, mulling over a proper response in his head. He knew that the words can we talk shouldn’t strike such a chord of fear inside him, but wasn’t that what people always said when they were going to break up? The past weekend had its ups and downs, sure, but he’d thought that they were at least on the same page, relationship wise. Maybe he was just overthinking.

lucallemant: Of course, do you want me to come to your dormitory?

srodulv: actually, could you meet me under the stadium?

lucallemant: In the place I took you to?

srodulv: yes.

srodulv: i hope that’s ok…

lucallemant: Of course it is, meet you there in 5?

srodulv: meet you in 5

A part of Lucas was deeply satisfied that Eliott had felt a similar connection to his refuge, while the other part remained worried, especially given Eliott’s cryptic and somber responses. He stood up, looking around for his favorite hoodie to throw on before he went outside, brows furrowing when he couldn’t find it. Maybe Yann had taken it or something. Instead, he found one of Eliott’s hoodies lying on the edge of his trunk, basically asking for him to wear it. If he was lucky, Eliott wouldn’t recognize it and he could keep it for as long as he wanted, relishing in the scent.

He became more and more anxious as he made his way to the stadium, conflicting emotions running through his head. By the time he arrived he nearly felt like he was going to piss himself, which probably wasn’t a good thing but he couldn’t help it.

“Eliott?” he whispered, lighting his wand. It was still light out, but the area under the stands was always a bit dim, even when the sun was high in the sky.

“I’m here,” Eliott responded, stepping into Lucas’ view. Oh, so that was where his hoodie had gone. Lucas knew that wasn’t the reason Eliott had asked him here, but he couldn’t help but be dumbfounded for a moment by how good the hoodie looked on Eliott. He could find a different favorite hoodie if Eliott agreed to wear this one forever.

“Hi,” Lucas said, stepping closer. His gaze flickered down to Eliott’s lips, then back up to his eyes. Eliott’s gaze was resting on a point just above Lucas’ head, something Lucas noticed that he tended to do when he was uncomfortable.

Eliott finally brought his eyes down to rest on Lucas’ face and his whole expression softened a small amount. “Hi.”

“So what’s up?” Lucas asked, trying to sound casual. The last actual words they had exchanged hadn’t been entirely civil, at least on Eliott’s part, and while it had taken Lucas a total of ten minutes to forgive him, he wasn’t sure Eliott knew that.

As if he’d read Lucas’ mind, Eliott sighed, “I’m sorry, for yesterday. You didn’t deserve that.”

Lucas shook his head immediately. “It’s fine, Eliott, I get it.”

“No, you don’t.” Eliott’s voice was soft, but firm, a bit like he was frustrated and dejected at the same time. “And it’s not fine. No one should treat you like that, and you shouldn’t just accept it.”

“Eliott, I promise, it’s ok,” Lucas emphasized, “This is all just a bit new to me, which is ok. New doesn’t mean bad, it just takes getting used to.”

Eliott scoffed ruefully. “You say that now. I won’t always be nice to you, or anyone, like I was yesterday. It hurts me inside after the fact, but in the moment I don’t care as much. It’s a big part of why Lucille and I aren’t as close as we once were. I mean, we’re still pretty close, but the relationship will never be what it was. Somewhere along the way she became my mother or my nurse, not my best friend. I can’t let the same thing happen to us. “It won’t,” Lucas promised.

Eliott blinked up at the ceiling. “And how do you know that? Will you say the same when I lie to you about taking my meds? Because that will happen. It’s why all this happened in the first place. I tend to do it when I feel good, and I feel good with you.”

Lucas reached up to cup Eliott’s face with his hands. “I feel good with you too.”

Eliott shrugged out of Lucas’ grip, walking around him to lean against one of the stadium’s support beams. “Maybe, but it will change. I know it will. And it will be my fault. I--” he broke off, tears filling his eyes. He coughed, continuing in an unsteady voice, “I don’t want that. It’s the last thing I would ever want.”

“You don’t know that,” Lucas cut in, adapting Eliott’s earlier statement.

“Lucas--” Eliott tried, but Lucas wasn’t done.

“You don’t know that. Some dark wizard might come and invade the school tomorrow, then none if this will matter at all. Sure, that seems pretty unlikely, but it doesn’t mean it could never happen. And on the other side, just because something seems likely to happen in your mind, that doesn’t mean it’s set in stone. I’ll fuck up too, I’ll yell at you, I’ll get angry and ignore you, and I’m not even bipolar.” Lucas looked into Eliott’s eyes pleadingly.

Eliott just shook his head. “Lucas, you don’t understand.”

“Yes I do, Eliott. So what, you’re bipolar? So what, you experience some emotions a bit more than everybody else? Maybe that means you get angry with me more often than I get angry with you, but if that’s true then that means you also probably show me more love than I could ever even try to show you. And it’s not because I’m not trying, either, you just experience life and love a little bit differently than I do, and that’s ok. It’s ok. We are who we are, and we just have to accept people as they are. Understand them instead of trying to change them. I’ll fuck it up sometimes, and so will you, but all that matters is that we’re trying.” Lucas took a step towards Eliott, a tear forming in the corner of his own eye.

Eliott was silent, but didn’t argue as Lucas lifted his arms and wrapped them around Eliott’s neck, pulling their faces close together. “I’d rather have you annoy me or make me angry than not have you at all,” he said softly, with a feeling that he couldn’t totally identify.

The corners of Eliott’s mouth turned up into a hesitant smile and he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead further into Lucas’. Lucas’ heart pumped steadily against his ribcage, threatening to burst its way through as a wave of love surged through him at the sight of even such a small smile. It was the most genuine one he’d given in weeks, since before their night in Paris. The first time they’d said I love you.

Lucas brushed his thumbs on Eliott’s cheekbones, and Eliott opened his eyes. “From now on, we’ll just take things day by day, ok?” Lucas suggested. Eliott didn’t look totally convinced, so Lucas shook his head, amending his statement. “No, we’ll take it minute by minute. Minute par minute, if you prefer,” he added, smiling.

“Minute par minute,” Eliott repeated.

“Minute par minute.”

They look at each other for a moment, neither one saying a word. Lucas loved moments like this, where the two of them just existed together. It was these moments that Lucas could convince himself that they were the only two people left on Earth, soulmates from the beginning of time to the end. “La fin des temps,” he said finally, and Eliott’s expression closed off somewhat.

“It doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he decided, and Eliott’s face went from shameful to a bit curious. “La fin des temps means the end of time, sure, but it can also mean that’s how long I’ll love you. Until the end of time. It’s you and me, me and you, from now until la fin des temps, if you’ll have me.”

Eliott’s eyes shone as he gazed deeply into Lucas’ eyes, and, by extension, his soul. “I’ll have you. Of course I will.”

“Until la fin des temps?”

“Until la fin des temps.”

Eliott’s first kiss was soft, a bit unexpected, and it warmed Lucas from head to toe. There was a hesitancy to it, and that was part of what made it so special. There was no reason for either of them to be hesitant with one another, but they both respected the other enough to try, knowing that their relationship had a lot of room to grow from where it was now. Now was good, though, now was exactly what it was meant to be.

Lucas put his hand in Eliott’s hair on the second kiss, letting Eliott know that yes, this is good, I love this, I love you. Eliott’s hands cupped Lucas’ face on the third kiss, confirming that he knew what Lucas was feeling and that he felt the same. On the fourth kiss Lucas forgot that his lips were meant for anything other than kissing Eliott. On the fifth, Eliott thought the same thing. They broke apart after the sixth, gazing into one another’s eyes before Eliott wrapped his arms around Lucas’ head, and pulled him into the crook of his neck, laughing softly. It was the most glorious sound Lucas had ever heard.

“You’re beautiful when you laugh,” Lucas murmured into Eliott’s skin, not even knowing if Eliott had heard him or not.

A few smiles and a lot of kisses later, they emerged hand in hand, finally ready to take on the world and to take it on together. The Slytherin team was emerging from the changing rooms as Lucas and Eliott made their way across the field, earning them confused looks.

“All good?” Charles asked Lucas as he walked by, and Lucas nodded.

“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured him, and Charles nodded once, narrowing his eyes, before turning back to his team and letting Lucas and Eliott walk the rest of the way across the field without interruption.

“Want to go back to my common room?” Lucas asked as they made their way back into the school. Eliott squeezed his hand, though Lucas didn’t know if it was meant to be a response or not.

“Aren’t your roommates sick of me?” Eliott asked.

Lucas scoffed. “Please. As if anyone could ever be sick of you. Also, they all like you better than me anyway, so there’s that.”

Now it was Eliott’s turn to scoff. “Please,” he imitated, “What’s not to love about a grumpy hedgehog?”

“That’s what I’m always saying…” Lucas joked, smiling as Eliott laughed though his nose, squeezing his hand more intentionally this time.

Lucas was surprised to find most of their friends lounging in the common room as they entered, all of them looking up and grinning when they saw the two of them together.

“Did I miss an invitation of some sort?” Lucas asked, making his way over to where the boys and girls were gathered and talking. Daphné perked up and widened her eyes at him. “No, but it’s good that you’re here. We could use your insight,” she said excitedly.

Eliott sat in the single empty chair in front of the fireplace scooting over enough that Lucas could sit with him. Lucas merely raised his eyebrows before sitting on Eliott’s lap, legs stretched out over the armrest. Eliott chuckled and wrapped his arms around Lucas, placing a small kiss in his hair before tuning in to the conversation.

“We’re planning something special for the inter-house unity club this Friday. The weather is supposed to be nice, so we were thinking of doing something outside, but we don’t know what,” Daphné explained.

“I voted party,” Alexia chimed in.

“We all did,” Emma added, laughing.

Daphné huffed at both of them. “Parties are not what this club is about.”

“There is no better way to unify the houses than a party,” Lucas pointed out, and Arthur quickly picked up his train of thought.

“Whenever there are parties, they’re always house specific, you know? Quidditch parties, house cup parties, whatever. They’re always in the common rooms, and they’re always limited to one house. Why not have a party for everyone?” Arthur suggested.

Daphné considered the idea carefully. “That’s a good point…”

Manon glanced at Lucas while Daphné weighed the idea, nudging her head up at Eliott, who wasn’t really paying much attention anymore, focused on playing with Lucas’ hair. Lucas smiled softly at her and glanced back up at Eliott. She grinned back, shooting him a covert thumbs up that he rolled his eyes at, but was appreciative of all the same.

There was a sudden absence of Eliott’s hands in his hair and Lucas looked up at Eliott again out of curiosity, but Eliott was just fiddling with his phone, typing something before setting it aside. Lucas wondered if he’d maybe reached back out to Idriss and Sofiane, but then he felt a buzz in his pocket. An Instagram notification from Eliott, who avoided Lucas’ gaze innocently as Lucas opened it.

It was a photo from their night in Paris, one that Lucas hadn’t entirely understood why Eliott had wanted to take it so badly. The caption explained it all, though. Sens de la vie, meaning of life, minute par minute, and la fin des temps. Without saying anything, Lucas pulled Eliott into a chaste kiss, letting him know that the message he’d chosen to write in his caption was exactly how Lucas felt as well.

“Get a room, please,” Imane said from across from them. Lucas flipped her off before pulling Eliott into another kiss out of spite.

“Forget house unity, our party should be a celebrating Elu party,” Alexia suggested, earning quite a few confused glances. She rolled her eyes and explained, “Oh come on. Elu? Eliott and Lucas? It’s their couple name.”

Lucas laughed quietly into Eliott’s chest and Alexia grimaced at him. “It’s not my fault you guys stole the ‘best couple’ position from Manon and Charles.”

“Hey!” Manon exclaimed, hitting Alexia playfully.

“Elu,” Eliott mumbled softly so only Lucas could hear, “The chosen one.”

“Hmm?” Lucas asked.

“In French. Elu can be translated to the chosen one in English.” Eliott’s face was radiant and soft at the same time, and Lucas fell in love for the millionth time that minute. “Because I choose you,” Eliott continued, “I’ll always choose you.”

Lucas’ heart was going to burst, and he wasn’t even a little mad about it. “I choose you, too.”

It was the easiest decision he’d ever made, even though it was a decision he’d actually made weeks and weeks ago. Because Eliott also gave his life meaning, because they’d both decided to take things minute by minute, and because all of those moments, all of those minutes would take them to the end of time.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16

AO3

Weekly Instagram Roundup: Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8

#skam france #elu fic #elu hogwarts au #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #la fin des temps

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