#and its like ‘hey sif how the fuck do you know that?’ and they’re like ‘know what?’

[azureblooet]

Ok a concept for the “sif is out” au:

What if Siffrin starts… not remembering, but adjusting?

Every loop Mirabelle speaks up in the corridor to go find the switch, but eventually…

They start stopping before she speaks up.

He starts finding the keys just a little bit faster.

He doesn’t remember but his body starts to. Some part of him starts adjusting with each loop.

“I mean he hardly has a memory to begin with so why would wiping it reset him?”

Or at least that’s what Loop explains it as.

It’s convenient at first, but…

He starts remembering how cold the party has been.

He starts avoiding eye contact with Odile.

They jump at Mirabelle’s voice sometimes.

He starts avoiding the observatory room.

Folding in disagreements faster.

After countless loops everyone notices that Siffrin starts one level higher now.

He’s smiling more. But there’s something wrong about it.

Everyone notices when he smiles at the mirror for the first time.

They just assume it might be a tiny remnant, not much to be concerned about.

They notice that his face stops changing, the smile remains.

Stock still.

Practiced.

Then…

He stops comforting Bonnie after they snap at him one loop.

[ Siffrin got the memory of Something! They shouldn’t remember this.]

[ When equipped The rogue may find things faster! Guess the loops can’t catch everything~]

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-�� nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

[lovelyirony]

“Dance with me.” For brucethor please!

Bruce didn’t dance. Ever. For all of his illustriously short career as a human being, Bruce had danced probably once, and that was at his Aunt Rebecca’s wedding. When he was three. 

After that, there was no dancing. A little something along the lines of “my dad fucking sucks and I hate him a lot, he’s too controlling” etc., with added trauma blah blah blah. 

“You going to homecoming this year?” Tony asks. Tony Stark is someone who Bruce never thought he’d be friends mainly because a.) Tony Stark is not afraid to act like an asshole to literally anybody, and b.) Most of the rumors are not true and started by Tony himself, who likes to weed out the people he doesn’t want ot hang out with. 

“No,” Bruce says. “I have a college exam to study for.” 

“How many are you taking, fifty? There’s not that much. Besides, you want to go to Culver and they’re practically offering to pay you a livable salary to go there.” 

“No college pays a livable salary to students, they’re delusional,” Bruce says with a shrug. “But I want to make sure my back-up colleges will accept me as well.” 

“Just apply for a school in Florida, they take anyone. Case in point, Justin Hammer got offered a place at Florida State.” 

“I’ll check that one off my list.” 

Tony laughs, taking another cracker out of his lunch. 

“But seriously, you should go to homecoming. Everyone does, and it’s your senior year. You should get some new experiences in besides studying for a new biology course that you’re taking online.” 

“Harvard let one out, I think I might apply for that.” 

“Ugh, you’re so boring.” 

“You’re the one who sits with me at lunch every day,” Bruce reminds him. “I’m so sure that Bucky Barnes would just be dying to have you sit with him. Or just be with him.” 

Tony turns to see Bucky staring at him across the table. 

“That’s ridiculous. He’s probably looking at the lunch menu for tomorrow. Speaking of, if it’s cheese pizza I’m going to barf.” Bruce rolls his eyes, but doesn’t bother to tell Tony that Bucky thinks he built the universe. 

“You’re a millionaire, I’m sure Jarvis could get you some caviar or whatever it is our government officials eat.” 

“I’m not part of the government, darling.” 

“You’re made of money, you have more sway than the president,” Bruce says. 

Tony thinks it over, humming. 

“True. Think I could get sustainable energy bills passed if I make the conservatives think it’s their idea?” 

“Possibly. You’d have to dumb it down way more than you did for Rumlow.” 

“Shoot me,” Tony moans, slumping down on the table. 

Bruce snorts, glancing to the clock. He starts gathering up his things and taking all the trash and recycling to the correct bins. 

They walk together, and Bruce tries very hard not to see Thor barging down the stairs, laughing loudly with Brunnhilde Valkyrie and Carol Danvers as they go for the next lunch shift. 

“I think Thor doesn’t have a date to homecoming,” Tony says. “And you’d be great arm candy.” 

“About as good as Red Vines,” Bruce mutters. 

“Your hatred of that candy knows no bounds.” 

“It shouldn’t even be legally called candy, I think anyone who eats it is a freak of nature.” 

“Very true. We should banish them to Siberia.” 

Tony and Bruce don’t share the next class. Tony is taking some anthropology class solely so he can have a class with both Rhodey and Pepper. Bruce doesn’t know why people think Tony is this suave asshole who has no friends, because Tony is about the most affectionate guy on the planet. 

The last hour of the day is Bruce’s favorite. It’s a cinema class, one that’s required this year because Bruce has exhausted the school of every possible science credit and math credit. 

“You need to take some arts,” Bruce’s counselor, Mrs. May said. Melinda May is a very terrifying woman who has deceptively nice desk decorations that usually indicate a woman who likes to talk about tea. Mrs. May asked Bruce if he knew how to throat-punch someone, and if he would like to learn. 

“Um, how is that relevant?” 

“It’s not. But you do well in school, it’s clear you care about your grades. I have nothing to discuss with you since you’ve done college applications early and applied for financial aid and scholarships. You’re basically a very responsible eighteen year old. So, do you want to learn how to throat-punch someone?” 

He does learn, and he also learns that he needs at least one more art credit. 

But the cinema class is one of the easiest classes. Everyone knows that it’s basically just watching a movie, writing a one-page reflection, and you occasionally get to nap. Bruce usually finishes up some applications, gets a snack in, and stares at Thor. 

Not in that order. Sometimes he needs to stare at Thor first. 

Thor is a very attractive person. He is smart, compassionate, and has very nice arms. He also knows how to care for long hair. This is a plus in many people’s books, Bruce’s included. 

Thor loves watching the movies and talking with friends in low tunes. Bruce sometimes gets involved in this discussion if they’re watching an interesting movie. Bruce likes that, that Thor turns and asks him what he thinks. 

The movie they’re watching currently is a musical, something Bruce rarely likes because he was forced to take a theater class last year, and now he legally can’t be around theater kids if he wants inner peace. 

It’s The Sound of Music. Bruce likes looking at the scenery. 

“Bruce, what do you think about it?” Thor asks. 

“Um…I really like the scenery. And Julie Andrews is always a good choice.” 

“I agree.” 

It’s quiet after that, until the DVD player shorts out and the teacher runs to the IT department, which probably won’t do something unless they pull Tony out of his class to fix it. 

The conversations flow evenly over the classroom, and Bruce focuses back in on his application for a new science course for the summer. If he can fit in one more credit hour, it shortens his college by one year, meaning he can graduate in three years instead of four, and then look onto graduate school. 

“What about homecoming?” Sif asks Thor. “I’m taking Jane, we’re shopping for suits soon. Who are you taking?” 

“I’m not sure,” Thor says. “Haven’t found anyone since Val decided to take Helen.” 

Bruce perks up a little bit. He doesn’t know why he does, because it’s not like he wants to go to homecoming anyway. 

Well, he wouldn’t mind it. Sure he’d need to buy a too-expensive shirt, but then he could use that shirt again for any official business meetings when he applies for internships, so–

“Bruce, what are you doing?” 

Bruce blinks, looking at Thor. 

“Um, right now I’m trying to sign up for a new biology class, so uh…” 

“I meant for homecoming.” 

“Oh!” Bruce is surprised. “Um, I don’t know. I was thinking about staying, but I’m not sure yet. I heard that Pepper’s really trying hard this year to get better decorations.” 

“Dude, then it’d be totally worth it,” Sif says. “If Pepper’s in charge, that means this homecoming won’t be the fiasco it was last year.” 

Last year, they did not have a good homecoming, Bruce heard. Pepper had an extended leave due to personal circumstances. She’s basically the backbone of the planning committee, and she had not started seriously training the newbie, Darcy. The homecoming the worst in existence, especially since the principal chose the music and all of it was from the early 2000s. 

“I might, I don’t know. I have no idea what Tony’s doing. He wants me to go, but I think Bucky might ask him.” 

“Barnes thinks Tony Stark hung the world on its axis,” Thor says, grinning. “But hey, you could always come with us.” 

“Um…okay. That’d be great.” 

So Bruce has homecoming plans. 

Tony doesn’t know about this until a week later, when they’re sitting at lunch together and Tony is telling him all about the homecoming ask that he had gotten from Barnes, which was very ridiculous and completely made Tony cry when he got home. 

(Not that Tony would ever admit to this, but he snapchatted Bruce at least fifteen different videos of what were essentially keysmashes in vocal chords.) 

“So, have you changed your mind about homecoming?” 

“Um, Thor asked me to be part of his group.” 

Tony’s eyes bug out. 

“Thor asked you out?!” 

“What? No!” Bruce says. “He just told me I could join the group. So I need a shirt.” 

“If you decide to wear that ugly yellow one your grandmother got you two years ago, I will literally kill you.” 

“It’s not that ugly.” 

“That yellow is from 1978 corporate business in Milwaukee, it’s disgusting.” 

“I’ll be sure to find something else, then,” Bruce says dryly. “Maybe eggplant purple.” 

“I will make sure you go in Versace if you keep this up.” 

But Bruce goes shopping Friday afternoon with Pepper and Tony and Rhodey, who all have looks in mind. 

“What are you thinking about, Bruce?” Rhodey asks. 

“Um…I don’t know. A shirt? Maybe a tie?” 

“You’re not a tie guy,” Pepper answers. “We’ll find you a nice shirt that compliments your eyes. Also, how do you feel about a haircut.” 

“What kind of haircut?” 

“A good one, obviously,” Tony scoffs. 

So they sign him up for a hair appointment Saturday morning, and they look for nice shirts. 

Bruce will not dare wear anything that’s bright, like red or yellow or god-forbid the dark green shirt that Tony said made him look “amazing.” 

“That’s just…no,” Bruce says. “Green really isn’t my color.” 

“I think it fits you,” Tony says. “But whatever.” 

Bruce actually starts texting Thor, who is very funny and knows the memes that he likes. They talk about dinner plans for homecoming, and what restaurant to go to. 

“I just don’t want there to be a lot of people, you know?” Thor says at lunch. Bruce and Tony have started to merge their two groups of people now, who get along quite well after the initial groupchat make via Tony. 

“Yeah, me either,” Bruce says. “I really don’t want to run into someone like Rumlow.” 

“Well, what about fixing a dinner at someone’s house?” Pepper asks. “That way, it’s more cost-effective.” 

Tony agrees to host it because he and Rhodey are wanting to try a new pasta recipe and they can get the ingredients in bulk. 

“Did you end up picking out a shirt?” Thor asks. “I know that you hated the green one. I thought that looked good.” 

“You did?” Bruce asks, trying very hard not to blush. 

He failed. 

“Yeah,” Thor says. “Made the eyes pop. But you didn’t like it, so it doesn’t matter. What color are you wearing?” 

“Um, purple. A light one, though. Not anything that’s gross or anything like that.”

(Sometimes, Bruce really wishes that he could just. Speak normally in front of his crush. Actually, all the time.) 

“Cool. I bet you’ll look handsome.” 

“Thanks,” Bruce manages to get out, taking a sip of water. “And you’re gonna look great too. I mean, you always do, but like with a suit it’s different so–” 

“You think I look great?” 

“I’d be a fool not to,” Bruce answers automatically.  Then immediately regrets it because who the fuck says that???????? 

Tony gives him a look when he gives him a ride home. 

“You’re in too deep,” Tony says. 

“Quit quoting Sum 41 at me.” 

“Then quit avoiding the subject,” Tony says. “And I wasn’t quoting Sum 41. I just think you’re majorly crushing on Thor and you’re not going to do anything about it.” 

“Why would I?” Bruce asks. “This is the last year of high school, and he’s probably going to go somewhere else for college. You know I don’t like long distance.” 

“You don’t mind long distance, you do it all the time,” Tony says. “You push people away because you can’t imagine people wanting to care for you.” 

“Since when did you pass psychology with an A?” 

“Since I made Freud my bitch. I don’t wanna make you mad, Bruce, but I still think you should at least try with Thor. You deserve it.” 

Bruce sits in the car, sipping on his water. 

“I’ll consider it.” 

And he will. Because despite Tony usually making a joke out of everything and giving Bruce very useless advice all the time, he does have some moments of clarity. This is one of them. 

Tony’s one of the few people who knows why Bruce studies so much and wants to go far away from his house and why. Tony doesn’t blame him, because Tony hates being in the same room as his father and is uncomfortable when people show him affection without wanting something. But they’re both getting better. 

Besides. Bruce has a little bit of a feeling that usually people don’t say that they liked you in the green shirt if there’s not something there. But he’ll wait for the dinner. 

Bruce is glad that Pepper told him not to get a tie, he’s having trouble buttoning the shirt itself. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, or why he hopes to god that he doesn’t get pit stains on the shirt. He put on deodorant six times throughout the day, and nothing has happened, but he’s nervous. 

He gets to Tony’s half an hour early to help get the dishes and silverware out, and also hopefully be convinced that things are going to be fine. 

Dinner is nice. Thor sits next to Bruce specifically, and Bruce even gets so bold as to laugh out loud and ask if Thor will save him a dance. 

“For you? Of course,” Thor says. 

The dance looks beautiful. Pepper is making sure everything is good, make sure the sophomores deny Tony’s requests to play the most obscure songs he can think of, and that no one is getting too drunk with the drinks they smuggled in. 

Thor dances easily, while it takes Bruce a little bit to warm up. 

“Time for the couples dance!” A teacher announces cheerily. 

Bruce thinks to step back, watching as Bucky shyly takes Tony’s hand and leads him out. 

He’s surprised when he gets a tap on his shoulder. 

“Would you, ah, care for a dance? With me?” Thor asks. He seems nervous. Bruce blinks. 

“Um, shit. Yeah.” 

Bruce is not eloquent, but he feels it as Thor takes him around the room. He grins as he looks at Thor. 

“So. A couples dance. That mean anything?” 

“If you want it to,” Thor says. “I’d like to take you out on a date sometime, if you’re interested.” 

“I am,” Bruce says. “Most definitely I am. Besides, you said I still need to try the bakery by the bookstore off fiftieth.” 

“That can be our first destination.” 

They smile at each other, and for the moment everything is perfect. They don’t know what the future holds, but that’s okay. 

[nightcoremoon]

everyone sucks dark souls' dick over how it's triumph over hardships and whatthefuckever

asylum demon is a little bitch.

taurus demon is a little bitch.

moonlight butterfly is a little bitch.

titanite demon is a little bitch.

capra demon is a little bitch.

havel the rock is a little bitch.

stray demon is a little bitch.

bell gargoyles are cheating little fuckers.

these fights aren't hard. they're not difficult. they're painfully easy. those first seven I beat without breaking a sweat, most of them on the first or second try. would've been the first for some but the game just loves artificial difficulty. what's that, you want strategy and tactics and reaction time? too bad, fuck you, have random ass bullshit, skewed numbers (enemies have fuckhuge hp and damage and you have wet paper), extra enemies on the side who fuckin teleport and ignore physics (oh right it's havok physics so fuck it who cares let's all teleport), oh yeah and your framerate is cut to ribbons because the game tries to render THE ENTIRE WORLD AT ONCE and when your framerate is low guess what YOURE LITERALLY NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO PLAY because it kicks you to the main title. oh and the bonewheels? yeah I made jokes about them before but jesus christ who fucking OK'd these? was there any QA at all? oh you rested at that bonfire, fuck you you're here forever now because you move at half speed and they move at double speed and they can pivot midair a full 360 and they instantly break your poise and do a hundred damage each hit oh yeah and they can all hit you at the same fucking time. there's a literal zero frame window whatsoever to roll out of the way. all you can do is pray to the RNG gods that it'll let you play. and that's bullshit.

this game

is fucking

TERRIBLE

every single complaint I've seen about the prequel- WHICH I LOVE- and the sequel- WHICH I USED TO HATE BUT NOW LOVE BECAUSE ITS SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THE TRASH HEAP OF THE FIRST GAME- can be levied tenfold against this game.

fuck this berserk fanfiction trash that namco bandai threw money at for the art department and level design crew. they got all the budget, leaving nothing for the fuckin nonexistent ai.

the bosses all suck too. yeah ds2 had shitty bosses and reskins too, but IT HAD TWICE AS MANY AS DS1 DID. it's allowed a couple of trash bosses. and it has some absolute gems. the last giant is a perfect first boss that will decimate you if you don't know what you're doing but if you understand it you can plow through it easily, but can't be complacent with.

flexile sentry is a cool design and has two different moveset to content with, AND a level timer. skeleton lords? good boss. executioner chariot? good boss. mytha? eh, decent boss. smelter demon? fucking amazing boss. old iron king? cheating bastard but hey just don't fall in the lava idiot. git gud. fume knight? *chef's kiss* sir allonne? *chef's kiss* rat vanguard? incredible puzzle. the rotten? it's ok I guess but it's still better than half the ds1 bosses. najka? quelaag reskin but still ok. rat authority? sif and capra had a baby. prowling magus? ...ok that one is just embarrassing, I'll give you that. freja? great. pursuer? he'll crush you if you don't know what you're doing but all of his attacks are unique and avoidable and he looks fucking cool. ruin sentinels? tough as hell and worth the struggle in learning them. gargoyles? it's not a reskin, it's the ds1 gargoyle fight but not a completely horrible steaming pile of shit that's just a worse version of maneaterds in the prequel. lost sinner? good boss. mirror knight? good boss. demon of song? good boss. velstadt? good boss. vendrick? holy shit is he the best character in the series or what? and his boss fight... everyone says lord gwyn is the saddest because of sakuraba-sama's amazing talents at musical composition (so uh tales of symphonia is the best video game soundtrack ever made hands down don't @ me I'm sorry metroid prime but you have too much ambient noise) and PLIN PLIN PLON but I guarantee you that PLIN PLIN PLON would work well against vendrick too. oh yeah then you have the fake dragons (ok), throne duo (mediocre version of ornstein & smough), nashandra (meh), and aldia (meh), and also the bosses of shulva (meh) and the dogs of eleum loyce (meh) and the burnt ivory king. who is the best boss in the series hands don't don't @ me I'm sorry soul of cinder but you rely too much on nostalgia.

dark souls 2 is a fucking masterpiece with a few hiccups that are all holdovers from the first game. standing alone, this is probably the best action rpg ever made, and what everything else should build itself off of.

ds1 has a bunch of copypasted enemies with the word "boss" slapped on them, shitty mechanics, and even shittier stages.

quelaag is good. four kings is good. nito is good. seathe is good. sif is good. o&s are good. the dlc bosses are good. every single other boss is fucking stupid or fucking terrible and either can be cheesed or REQUIRE cheese.

what I mentioned before are jokes. ceaseless is just a pathetic version of dragon god who was vastly improved when he became old iron king. centipede demon is fucking garbage. bed of chaos is worse than garbage. priscilla is a meme. gwyndolin is a hallway. demon firesage is a reskin. gaping dragon is a waste of a cool design. iron golem is a joke who can be 1v1'd by tarkus. pinwheel? shut the fuck up about the prowling magus and congregation, pinwheel is not a real boss. lord of cinder? he's the reason why I don't parry, because parrying is cheese and it's fully dependent on having a $1000 graphics card and a brain that's wired to look at 60 frames per second. "but the human eye can only see 26" yeah exactly. man that's a short list of shitty bosses though. you're right? it's because I've listed all the dark souls bosses. and I haven't even listed all of the ds2 bosses.

I'm with hbomberguy here. ds2 gets more hate than it deserves. but I'll take it a step further.

dark souls 1 sucks.

it's not fun. it's not cool. it has a story ripped from a manga. its level design is a gimmick. the animations are shit. the hitboxes are shit. the physics are shit. the lighting and textures are still shit AFTER A REMASTER. the weapons and moveset variety is shit. the enemy design is shit. the locations all look exactly the same. the NPCs are boring and forgettable- I don't even know their fucking NAMES besides andre and gough (and gwyndolin but she's as real as her tits). it's built from salt and cyanide and broken glass rather than love for its roots. the music is the only part I can salvage without any buts. I can't even say that actually because THERE IS NONE EXCEPT DURING BOSSES WHEN YOU CANT LISTEN TO IT BECAUSE IT THINKS THAT DIFFICULTY IS SPEED AND SHEER NUMBERS.

it's a bad game.

you can like it. you can play it. you can love it.

but holy shit, shut the fuck about about it. I get it. I understand. I know. okay. got it. shut up.

I'll stop talking shit about your baby when you stop bitching and moaning and whining over how much you won't let yourself enjoy 2.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Four (23.52% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Loads of fun, though tonally dissonant; works best on first viewing. Easily the superior film of the Thor franchise, though that’s not a huge achievement considering its predecessors.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Sigh.

Female characters:

Hela.

Scrapper 142 (I know, she is credited as Valkyrie, but since the name is never used to address her in the film it doesn’t count by the rules of this blog; if she didn’t happen to be referred to by her scrapper number a few times, she wouldn’t count as a named character at all).

Topaz.

Natasha Romanoff.

Male characters:

Thor.

Surtur.

Skurge.

Loki.

Stephen Strange.

Odin.

Volstagg.

Hogun.

The Grandmaster.

Carlo.

Korg.

Bruce Banner.

Heimdall.

OTHER NOTES:

The use of Immigrant Song is my favourite thing about this movie, to be honest. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just such a good choice.

The inclusion of Doctor Strange in this film feels like a pointless misstep, a distraction at what is really a vital early point in establishing tone, especially considering this useless scene is what leads us in to...

...the literal death of Odin and introduction of Big Bad Hela, all of which should be emotional and intense and is instead flat and dissonant in the extreme. Watching this for the first time, I was very concerned that the whole film was just gonna end up gimmicky and soulless. While it does pick up, I was also not wrong about that early assessment.

Not that I was attached to Thor’s friends from the previous films, but they sure do just kill them off without fanfare, except for Sif who just doesn’t appear at all (logically, we should assume she dies off-screen, otherwise there’s no reason for her not to be up-front with Thor at the end of the movie). Fandral doesn’t even get a line in before he croaks, that’s how irrelevant these franchise-veteran characters are. Emotional engagement in plot and character is for chumps, anyway.

*whispers* Jeff Goldblum is here.

“Piss off, ghost!”

Hulk reveal is pretty solid, if you manage not to have been spoiled (a tall order, since it was in the promos).

Heimdall is still the MVP of the Thor franchise.

Can’t believe it took this long for any movie to squeeze some real fun and heart out of the Hulk character. This is way better than embarrassingly forcing a love match on him.

The valkyrie-battle memory is soooo good-looking.

This movie is too recent to be using the word ‘gypsy’...

Thor’s story about Loki pretending to be a snake when they were kids is the good shit.

But, Immigrant Song is still the most inspired choice of the film. Not sorry.

So, this is one of those movies which I felt was pretty over-hyped, to be honest. It is great fun, don’t get me wrong, it’s fresh and hilarious and subversive and way the Hell better than the previous Thor films, plus it has a great cast and strong visuals and they used Immigrant Song really effectively...but the tone of the film is an absolute fucking mess, the plotting is a shambles, and there’s nowhere near as much heart and weight underpinning it all as what there should be for a movie involving the near-total destruction of an entire civilisation. The majority of the movie is handed over to a shenanigan-heavy side-plot of no consequence to the central conflict, while the central conflict - LITERAL RAGNAROK - is relegated to a handful of scenes sprinkled across the film, obliterating any chance of it seeming meaningful or even particularly serious. The strongest point of the story is the final act, once Thor and company finally get to Asgard to confront Hela, but the narrative doesn’t earn that strong finish; it just goes to show how much more engaging the rest of the film could have been if they had stayed on track.

This is a big part of why this movie - while a delightful surprise on first viewing - doesn’t age particularly well on repeat; this was my fourth time through, and by the third quarter, as Sakaar draaaagged through its roster of jokes and pratfalls, my attention span was waning fast. Even if the entire garbage-planet sidebar was not distracting from what should have been a very serious main plot, I’m not sure it would remain engaging long-term, since it is rather spare and low on emotional/character investment; it’s not a pitfall of comedy that has to exist (heavily-emotional and/or dark comedies are definitely a real thing), but unfortunately, this is not a movie that is very interested in what has come before it, and it expresses that disinterest by neglecting any element of the established Thor mythology which might have brought this plot a sense of meaning. As such, rather than feeling like ‘the Thor movie that finally got it right’, it’s more like a reboot, with old characters unceremoniously ditched and any sense of purpose or import in old story threads or histories gone right alongside Asgard itself.

I’ve seen people praise this film for its ‘anti-Imperialism, anti-colonialism’ message, but I feel it’s a point weakly made onscreen; any depth to that argument would require a more sincere effort from the script in addressing those scant Asgard scenes, and as such, I feel that this element - though it isn’t completely wishful thinking - is much more in the eye of the beholder than it is a function of the narrative itself. The attempt to engage with any thoughtful discussion on Asgard’s legacy is a swift casualty of the film’s overall superficiality, just the same as the devastation of Asgard and the decimation of its population is blithely underplayed because, hey, Thor vs Hulk is worth way more attention than genocide, right? It’s that tonal dissonance in the two pieces of the plot which keeps me from really relaxing and enjoying the lightness, because that lightness is both excessive and out-of-place; I feel uncomfortable being asked to just shrug and go with it, I want to be emotionally involved and moved by the plight of the Asgardians, and instead I’m stuck watching Thor get a haircut and an eyeful of Hulk dick. Under almost any other circumstances, I would be all about a hard-comedy version of Thor, especially after the generic drudgery of the earlier installments in the franchise, but at the same time as Ragnarok? Not so much.

That said? This film is definitely not without quality. Comedic quality, for sure (anything with Taika Waititi’s name attached is worth a look), and there really are some great casting flourishes (though I maintain disappointment that the Asgard plot is so undersold, because it means Karl Urban and especially Cate Blanchett are under-utilised); for the interests of this blog, it’s that Scrapper 142 aka Valkyrie who forms the highlight (and she’s a worthy highlight without the context of this blog, too). Valkyrie’s drunk, angry sauntering and her snappy disregard for Thor’s righteous pontificating positions her within an archetype normally restricted to male characters only, too loose and unseemly for a female character, who might be found dislikeable and (horror of horrors) too sloppy to be sexy, whereas a man in the same archetype is funny, a ‘lovable asshole’, and the perception of his appearance is not tied up in his behaviour the same way nor is he under the same pressure to prioritise his appeal for the audience in the first place. Angry male drunkards who begrudgingly tag along with the protagonist in the end because they’re surly but not bad, those are a dime a dozen, but a woman in the same position? A rare gem indeed. And Valkyrie is more than just a fresh twist on an old cliche; her personality is grounded, it has a relatable simplicity (disillusionment with a side-order of survivor’s guilt), and there’s a confidence about the way she and the unspoken parts of her life are presented, without need to force a connection with Thor and his personal plight in order to justify Valkyrie’s actions or relevance to the plot. She’s an entirely self-contained character who could just as easily have the story to herself with no further mention of Thor et al., and that’s the hallmark of any well-constructed character: the ability to stand alone.

As a whole, this movie is far from bad - when I call it overrated, I am very much talking about the fact that it’s mostly a string of shenanigans with minimal narrative underpinning, and while that’s not a terrible thing in itself, I do think the hype around this movie implied that it had something more to offer than just laughs and a retro look. For me personally, the lack of emotional engagement and character stakes is close to a fatal flaw, and so while I enjoy this movie on a superficial level, it gives me nothing I need in order to really dig it (for others, obviously, this is not a problem). It always rubs me the wrong way to see something completely disavow previous chapters in the same story - there’s a big difference between developing an idea in a new direction, and simply ditching whatever you didn’t like about what came before - and I would have preferred to see this film make its changes with at least a modicum of respect for the foundations it is building upon (basic as the previous Thor films were, they weren’t catastrophic embarrassments). And yes, ultimately, the burying of the Ragnarok plot under a pile of Planet Garbage (feat. Jeff Goldblum) is just a little unforgivable in my mind, and it’s the first thing I think of whenever this film pops up; I really, really wish that Ragnarok were not part of this plot at all, that the Sakaar part of the story (i.e. the part that The Powers That Be were actually invested in, clearly) formed the bulk of the second film in the Thor franchise instead, since that movie basically sucked and took itself too seriously, and then the Thor film which took itself seriously could have been actually about Ragnarok. Basically, I wish that Marvel had gotten their shit together sooner rather than later with this part of the franchise, because while this worked out fine for them monetarily, narratively it’s just not a step I can get behind.

[girlbookwrm]

A New Year’s Thor

THE MIGHTY ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES WITH KENNETH BRANAGH’S thor

How did I spend New Year’s? Continuing our mighty pre-endgame rewatch with The Roommate ( @goteamwin ) and The Gal Pal ( @pegasuschick ). We’re watching Thor, the Kenneth Branagh-i-est of the Marvel Movies.

Note: We were all. Very Drunk. 

“You know what’s worked great in all our movies so far? TIME JUMPS!” - every early marvel film.

right away I comment to The Roommate: What is up with all these angled shots? 

The Roommate, a video editor and producer: Actually that’s called a canted shot.

Me, mere moments later: not a lot of shots in this that AREN’T canted, are there.

seriously, watch this movie. If I made note of every canted shot, these rewatch notes would be 90% CANT.

Stellan Skarsgard here bringing the Nord, and Natalie Portman bringing the... wait how the hell did they get Natalie Portman in-- oh right. Kenneth Branagh directed this.

hey it’s Tonsberg! like from CATFA! Neat!

listen there are too many blue cubes in marvel. This was super fucking confusing when I was wee and not yet obsessively into Marvel. There’s the Casket (which the frost giants use) and then there’s the Tesseract (which is different? but also blue??) and let it be known that in the comics there is ALSO the cosmic cube which is NEITHER of those things but the roommate initially called both the Casket and the Tesseract the Cosmic Cube, because -- as was previously mentioned -- this is super fucking confusing.

Let it be known that the Roommate, when quite young, went to see this movie in theaters with her very first boyfriend on her very first date.

The Roommate, Way Back When: So... they’re gods? like? the norse gods?

The Roommate’s Very First Boyfriend: They’re actually aliens.

The Roommate, Now: He was wildly underexplaining this.

what actually is this ceremony? what does it accomplish?

Tom Hiddleston has said nothing yet, but he has said So Much. Also, 

The Roommate: Who is that  lovely woman in the horned helmet? Loki has a beautiful woman’s face.

The Gal Pal: He does make a beautiful mare. The MOST beautiful mare, in fact.

She is Not Wrong.

thank god someone saved us from Malibu Thor here, he is Too Blonde

“I, Odin Allfather, Proclaim you the Frost Giants.” 

this must have been so confusing for all the Asgardians here.

Oh hey it’s Sif and What’s His Face and That Other Guy and F...

farrrr...

franduil?

fan... dis?

AT THIS POINT WE HIT MIDNIGHT WHILE IDRIS ELBA WARNED US TO BE CAREFUL IN THE COLD WASTES OF JOTUNHEIM

FANDRAL!

fandral is his name.

At this point, while the fighting was going on, we got a lil side tracked talking about the movie in general.

The Roommate: It’s like the Temptation of Thor. Christ spent 40 days in the desert, Thor spends 48 hours in New Mexico.

The Gal Pal: Are you saying Thor is better at this than Jesus?

The Roommate: No, I’m saying he’s half-baked.

This is the first time Thor flies with the hammer and all i could think was “oh my god the hammer pulled you off???”

Dear Anthony Hopkins, what are your acting choices?

Anthony Hopkins: HUARGH!!!!!

aaaaaand thirty minutes in, we’re finally back to the beginning.

“Yes I did” Darcy is a T R E A S U R E

So much of this movie is Thor becoming unconscious. bless.

C A N T

All men (with a few odd token women), grilling, pickup trucks, literal “hold my beer” -- u s a, U S A, U! S! A!

pooter!

Hey! Phil is here!

aw yissss thor with no shirt -- sidenote: he’s definitely freeballing it here, right? I mean there’s no way he’s wearing underwear under those jeans. Doesn’t that chafe on his little hammer?

Let’s all agree that right up until he goes way off the deep end, Loki is 10000% not wrong about any of this. Thor was definitely not ready to be king, he was an idiot. and also, I was never much of a Loki fan, personally, but Loki’s having a real bad day. 

Grows up being told that he was destined to be a king, but there’s only one throne --> has to watch his idiot brother get ?crowned? --> decides to play a prank (who wouldn’t, right?) --> fRoSt GIaNt???????? --> BRoTHerR BAnISHedD????????? --> FROST GIANT???????? --> ODINSLEEP?????????? --> KING NOW?????????? BUT FROST GIANT STILL??????????????

Loki and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

And seriously, what was Odin’s plan here? “I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, and I’d just pepper in the fact that you’re a frost giant and I kidnapped you and you’d be totally cool with it.”

Odin Allfather: A+ parenting, Literal baby snatcher.

THIS DRINK! I LIKE IT! ANOTHER!

The Roommate: I love that Jane’s motivation isn’t really to get with Thor, it’s to get with SCIENCE.

Sometimes I forget that this is actually a funny movie, but they just had no idea how to handle the comedy in it? like, they had a comedy script and they just filmed it like a straight drama/action movie for some reason.

“A pioneer in gamma radiation” Is that bruce???

follow up: yes. Yes it is Bruce.

The canting here is Very Cant.

What time of year is it in NM that everyone is wearing this many layers.

Thor being all: “I know ur midgardian but I’d tap that.”

Jane Foster: Brilliant Scientist, Menace on the Road.

Why. Why is the SHIELD site set up like this.

What purpose does it serve

why.

W H Y.

(subnote, we investigated this afterwords and apparently it’s designed to look like a sigil of the word SHIELD, like all the letters smooshed on top of each other but also IT IS NOT and also also THAT IS DUMB AS FUCK.)

(though grudgingly, i admit, thematically appropriate given the overall norse-ness of this movie.)

(STILL FUCKING STUPID)

sitwell!

What is causing this rain?

The Roommate: Because, like everything else from Asgard, Meu-myeh is Extra™

Hey it’s Hawkguy!

Side side note, I am pretty sure that I also went to see this movie with my very first boyfriend and he got super excited about Hawkeye like “omg it’s clint and he has a bow and he’s so fucking cool omg omg omg!” and i was just like “????? kay? but he passed over all those obviously superior guns and then he does literally nothing tho????”

fast forward and the first comic i bought for myself was Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye

aaaaand I’m dating a woman now.

Honestly cannot tell if windy or cant

H U A R G H ! ! ! !

I really want to go into the roommate’s Benedict Cumberbatch Upgrade Theory of Tom Hiddleston but also this is getting super long and honestly she’s so right it deserves its own post

nah I’m gonna

The theory goes like this: Bandersnatch Cucumberpatch is an alien scout sent to learn our ways and gain influence in our culture, but he’s like, the first draft. They weren’t really sure what a human was supposed to look like. 

Tom Hiddleston is Model 2.0

Tom Hiddleston is the upgraded Benedict Cumberbatch

The roommate explained this to me and I just looked at her sidelong for a looooooooong minute and said: u sure u want me to put this on the internet? r u sure??

“You have great power, Heimdall”

The Gal Pal: yeah, ur the only black man is Asgard.

“hit you with my car” WAIT IS ALL THOR’S CHARACTER GROWTH THE RESULT OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

*CANT INTENSIFIES*

Thor: I’m just a man. Just a very tall, very handsome, VERY buff man.

wouldn’t it have been AMAZING if Jane had caught the hammer instead? I mean? WOULDN’T THAT HAVE BEEN FUCKING AWESOME????

Frigga: She Did Her Best, But She Still Raised The Two Dumbest Boys In the Nine Realms.

Despite my earlier statements, Loki definitely does end his day with attempted fratricide, successful patricide, and questionably successful genocide so.

“Is it madness? Is it? IS IT???”

The Roommate: I mean. Yeah, buddy.

At this point, Thor has No Idea what the fuck is going on. he doesn’t know Loki’s a frost giant.

ORRRR he does know, because everyone knew, everyone but Loki always knew.

Odin: *WAKES UP* WTF ARE MY SONS DOING?

“no loki” ODIN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DUDE

“you’ve already made me proud” literally all you had to do was say that to your other son one (1) time.

wait is this a foo fighters song???

[minaminokyoko]

Thor: Ragnarok is extra as fuck and I am so down with that.

Oh, sweet Odin, you don't know how much I fucking needed this movie in my life.

Now, I am one of the only MCU fans on the planet who not only loves the Thor movies but would like to happily tell the rest of the MCU fans to fuck off the edge of my metaphorical dick for constantly ragging on them. They are fun films with lots of charm and I can't stand that Thor is constantly thrown under the bus by these same fans who worship worthless characters left and right and yet won't give the God of Thunder the time of day. Well, if nothing else, I think the naysayers have to admit that Thor: Ragnarok if nothing else will be the most memorable film in his trilogy. To me, it's like a giant, decadent chocolate sundae. It gets sweeter with every bite and you love every second of it. Naturally, spoilers ahead.

Overall Grade: A-/B+

Pros:

-Obviously, the script writers had a bet with the Guardians of the Galaxy writers on how they could make the funniest film in the MCU, because Ragnarok was making an honest effort to beat their films in terms of just gut-busting moments. It's awkward humor, it's visual gags, it's wonderful performances, it's everything to make you damn near pee yourself in your theater seat. I've always liked Thor's balance between serious Shakespearean drama and goofy humor, and Ragnarok basically turns it up to eleven. I think that Thor's best quality is that he's a big old dork with a big old heart, and it shines true in this film. He's a warrior and a giant golden puppy and it's shown so well in this film. The way I've been describing it in my head is "the most extra Marvel film in the entire MCU" and I mean that in the best possible way. Everything is extra as fuck and it works.

-Hela was awesome. I mean, duh, Cate Blanchett, and she was deliciously over the top exactly the way we were all hoping for. The House of Odin is basically the House of Big Hams and so she fit right in. Plus, she was a legitimate badass threat and it was great to see women in this film kicking ass and looking fly as fuck while doing it.

-Valkyrie was also a delightful welcome. I thought Jane was cute as a button and I didn't mind that her badassery came from her mind, but I liked Valkyrie palling around and being a grumpy drunkard who could kick your ass if you looked at her wrong. I also liked that they didn't make her a tomboy--she's just cranky as hell. She didn't feel unfeminine, and that's good to see in a film that's kind of a boys' club. It was so wonderful to see a woman of color kicking ass and taking names, and it was even more of a relief that the initial rumor was wrong and she isn't Thor's love interest. I wouldn't mind a future romance, but it's great that they are just brothers in arms.

-Jeff Goldblum. I don't need to elaborate. Just...Jeff Goldblum.

-Loki, to me, felt pretty balanced here and he didn't overtake the film the way he did in The Dark World. Mind you, I loved TDW. I thought focusing on the brothers was awesome and interesting, but it came at the expense of the villain and that was kind of a bummer. Here, we get just enough of the God of Mischief, but he doesn't stifle Thor or the others. Plus, he was so fucking extra in this movie. I'm crying. The play he put on and the statue he built was just hilarious. He's sitting there mouthing the lines and what have you. Oh, Loki. You are just a fountain of fucking entertainment. Also, I forgot how utterly attractive I find Tom Hiddleston, especially in tight clothing and all black, so I may have had a lady boner for pretty much most of the film. Damn you, Tom.

-The action was extremely well-paced. You had just enough time to get to know people and see the new characters and understand the threat while being treated to some truly awesome fight scenes. Plus, the Thor/Hulk battle lived up to its potential. We were all waiting for them to throwdown, and they certainly did in an epic way.

-Thor and Bruce's dynamic was charming. So, so charming. It was cool because of the Avengers team, the two of them seemed to interact the least and it was great to see them bond and develop a rapport. It's also cool that the film is sort of nodding to the Planet Hulk idea while not being able to go into it with a solo film, but hey, you get what you can out of the MCU.

-Surprisingly, no Avenger cameos and no references to what's happening on earth aside from Age of Ultron. Very cool of them to let Ragnarok be its own story and not get interrupted.

-Ragnarok is honestly as visually stunning as the Guardians movies. I'm really glad they amped up the way everything feels foreign and alien. It gives it its own unique flavor and sets it apart from the first two movies, and I know a constant complaint has been Thor being on Earth too much. Problem solved.

-The Matt Damon and Sam Neill cameos had me roaring. So random, but so good.

-Even though he's pretty much the Butt Monkey for most of the film, I loved seeing Thor be his big adorable, doofy self. He's like a wonderful frat bro, but not the obnoxious kind, like that adorable meathead kind of personality like Joey Tribbiani from Friends. He's a good man and he's been humbled a lot and he does the right thing whatever the cost may be. Good on you, giant puppy god. I'll always have your back no matter what.

-Side note: MCU fandom, I'm not saying you should write Valkyrie/Loki hate-sex fics...but you should totally write some Valkyrie/Loki hate-sex fics.

Cons:

-I hate it when major franchise sequels do this shit: writing the love interest out of the entire story with one line. I was furious. Look, I know Natalie Portman exited the franchise. I don't know if she said anything rude on her way out, but she was instrumental to the first two fucking films and it drives me insane when movies don't address why a major character has left, and it's especially fucking rude when said character was the love interest of the main lead. Stop. Doing. This. Hollywood. Respect these characters. I don't care if the actor/actress left--you need to neatly wrap it up and explain what happened out of respect for the story and the audience, not your fucking studio. Jane Foster started the entire story of Thor. Without her, everything would have been incredibly different and Thor might not have had the development he received as a character without her. I'm not saying you had to drag Natalie back on set. All I'm saying is to give Thor a five minute scene explaining why they broke up, because that's fucking important to him and to those of us who shipped Fosterson. So fuck off with your one sentence explanation, you selfish pricks.

-To that end, fuck you for killing off Volstagg and Fandral without a single fucking word or nod of acknowledgment of Thor's that they died defending Asgard. Look, I'm not stupid. I can acknowledge that these characters were an afterthought and they weren't given time to develop, but they were still a big part in helping Thor out and he loved them like family, so letting them die without even going out like badasses for shock value was a discourteous move. I can't believe the actors even agreed to show up for that bullshit. It's disrespectful. They also never reference where the hell Sif went, so thanks a lot for that too. I haven't watched Agents of SHIELD in over a year and I know she cameo'd there, but I have no clue where she was and why they didn't tell us why she wasn't protecting Asgard. At least Hogun got a goodbye, but why him and not the others? You dicks.

-The story is overstuffed and it's probably because Ragnarok is only 2 hours and 10 minutes long. They really should have just trusted the audience and made it two and a half hours long. Guys, we can sit through great films for that long. We don't mind. We are excited about the characters and the worlds they're in, so don't cut your movie short when you have this much going on. It's okay to slow down.

-Related to the above con, Bruce didn't really get a resolution to his story. His fear of being trapped inside the Hulk forever is legit as hell, and because of the short running time, he just sort of gets over it and switches back to save the Asgardians. While that is noble, it's frustrating to see his story arc get pushed aside due to the short running time, much like in the first Avengers where we don't see how he is able to control his transformation. Do the work. Give him some room to develop alongside Thor.

-Curiously, they didn't give us more fuel for Infinity War aside from (possibly) Thanos' ship popping up. I was sure they were going to show us Loki nabbing the Tesseract in the end credits and then Thanos finding out and going after it, but I guess not. Odd. I figured they'd allude to the Grand Master still being alive as one end credits scene, but I'm once again a bit frustrated with the lack of teasing.

-This isn't a personal con for me, but if you went into this looking for a serious story, you're going to hate this movie. It's charming and full of delicious Narm and one-liners, so if you've got a stick up your ass about your Marvel films being deep dramas, don't even bother with Ragnarok. It's a popcorn flick on steroids.

-I kind of wanted a little more of Thor mourning Odin, but part me is also like, "Man, FUCK THAT GUY. Odin won the Worst MCU Father award alongside Howard Stark.” I mean, Christ. "By the way, you have a sister who is the Goddess of Death and instead of preparing you for her arrival once I die, I'm just gonna spring this shit on you at the last second. Kthxbai." FUCK YOU ODIN. I tried to defend you when the Loki fangirls came after you, but now you can kiss my ass and die. Ugh, what an asshole.

-I would have liked Thor and Valkyrie to have a quiet moment to bond. Yes, this movie is all big laughs, but I'd have enjoyed seeing them genuinely have a moment, platonic or otherwise.

-I wish they would have outlined Hela's abilities and weaknesses (if she had any) before we got her showdown with the Big Nasty. It might have made the finale go down a little easier.

Ragnarok was oodles and oodles of fun and delivered what it promised. I'm already ready to see it a second time and enjoy the charm and the extra-ness. Please do yourself a favor and join me.

[star-maiden-fufu]

1-37 for the LL ask~ :p

8)

Welp this is goin under cut for bein fuckin massive then lol

cept the first 3, ill keep them above the read more

1. Maki for u’s, You and Mari for Aqours (Yoshiko used to be one of my Aqours best girls, but she’s slipped a lil, mostly due to lack of appearances in SIF =_=)

2. I really like Yuu Aizawa, the sleepy stargazer. Her cards are really cute too ;3;

3. Nobody in PDP really sticks out for me right now, while I do still like them. If i had to choose tho, either Ai or Rina, just for both of them bein interesting

4. Only been playing since about October I think. More around the latter half of October just cos I vaguely recall not finishing the daily login calendar before it started fresh for November. But hey, I’ve stuck in longer w/ this than i have most things lol, maybe ill be able to make it to a year played!

5. Only on EN, though I have 2 accounts; my main, which was actually given to me by a friend who didn’t use it anymore, so I technically started from something that already had some progress to it, and my side account, which is more for casual playing

6. As of right now and what songs are available on EN, I’ve cleared nearly every song available. I’ll admit ive gotten a little lazy with my Easy and Normal songs since I mainly play Expert now, but with the current limited time goal to full combo 75 times, im goin back to my Easy and Normal songs and I’m clearing them to also fulfil that goal. 

Masters tho, lol I don’t touch those. Maybe a couple, but I dont count (not that I can anyway since they leave rotation after a while lol)

7. Admittedly, mostly Hard songs, just cos they still feel kinda fun but cos they’re slightly easier than Expert songs (obvs) they feel a little less stressful to play. :’D Some stand outs include Zurui yo Magnetic Today, Strawberry Trapper and Kimeta yo Hand in Hand.

(Which as a lil bit of bonus trivia, are all also songs I struggle w/ on EX :’D)

And a few Dailies as well (still on Hard) like Kohaku Biyori and Otome Shiki Renai Juku

8. Currently on my main i have the Aqours 3rd year badge (I think I equipped it as a good luck thing when I was scouting for V-day Mari) and my background is the UTX cafeteria to fit v-day Mari, who’s also my partner :’D

My side account, I just have the BiBi badge and I’m using the recent Aqours boat background

9. Shit :’’)

nah but seriously, I am Smile cursed like fuck (yet mostly w/ SSRs, haven’t gotten a Smile UR yet aside from Fruits Eli who came with my account), but my Pure luck w/ u’s is terrible. My Cool luck is alright tho, given that I’ve got a few SSRs and two of the 3 Cool URs I have are scorers :’D

My side account is much more Cool cursed tho, and once again, my Pure team seems to be suffering rip

Eternally anti-Pure cursed no matter the account

10. I have one example that I can list for the next point on this list, so I’ll list the other story I have;

I was scouting for Christmas You back when she came to EN, and the first scout I did (with a 10+1 ticket) crashed my game 8′’) so I didnt get to see the box open

So i booted my game up, kinda panicking in case I lost the scout after saving that ticket (that i’d bought w/ actual money). Went to the scouting screen first; red ticket option wasn’t available. Went to my member list and ordered by newest.

And You’s Initial UR was just sitting in my inventory 8′’D

(I’m still kinda salty I didn’t get Christmas You, but I still got a UR of her so… eh? 8′D Hopefully her Cyber card comes home when I scout for it!)

11. Literally all the best scouting luck I have seems to go toward my side account, cos I have 2 URs on there, and they’re both idolised 8′D

Like I’ve told both these stories on here before but fuckit, I’ll tell em again briefly;

I once used the green ticket you get w/ a new account just to scout and get a goal done w/ plus get another ticket; out comes Devil Nico

Later I had enough blue coupons to do a blue coupon scout; its a UR envelope, and its Devil Nico again 8′D

and now recently, I did two scouts for Animal Yoshiko; got her in both scouts, and she’s idolised as well.

12. Okay, so obvs anyone would say getting a single SR or SSR pull, and I’ve had those before, but I might as well talk about a scout i did on my main, back when Job Kanan was on EN

Ive got some 10+1 tickets and Im saving them to scout for both Angel Mari and Cyber You, but i decided to use one for the Job set, cos I could get another one when the start of the month packs came out

It was a single SSR

and it was Initial Mari

whom I already have, and idolised as well 8′D not even any rate up cards

the only plus side was that it meant a skill up for her and an SS seal for me

13. Completely caught up on my main lol

Side account, I’m up to ch16

14. Aside from scouting goals, cos I know there’s a point for that specifically, I’m mainly focusing on trying to improve playing Expert songs :’D and get Full Combos

15. Pretty much any You UR just cos I love her so much ;3; But specifically, her Christmas UR

As for Maki, I don’t care if its a super old card and that it might not be as good anymore, I really want her November/Cooking UR ;3;

And Mari…I already have her Valentines UR, which I love :’D But I’d also like her Angel UR ;3;

16. You’s Valentines SSR *3* People joked when it first came out that it looks like Maki’s Cooking UR, but tbh, i both don’t care, but I’m also amused considering I love that card as well :’D

Also just every You card in general :)

I’d say every Mari card, but I’m ridiculously Mari blessed so I’m honestly expecting to get them lol

17. Maki’s Cafe Maid SR ;3; That was the first card I’d idolised myself, and she looks so gorgeous. This one card is part of the reason why the Cafe Maid set is my favourite.

Also, Mari’s Halloween SR~

And I’m gonna leave it at those two cos they stand out most, cos otherwise I’d be here forever talking about every card I love :’D Also keeping it just to SRs for the same reason lol

18. I’ve tiered in every event since the YouMaru Token Event. Cos You at the time was the tier reward :’D

a few events I got kinda lazy and only hit T3, but otherwise, I’ve tiered for every one 

(Well, I got a little too lazy during New Year Nozomi’s event, so I didn’t actually get her ;3; not even her points card. Doesn’t help that it was my first score match, and I’ve hated them since)

19. =_______=

YohaRuby Token

I tried to get into T1 since I was so close, but i was also wary about spending loads of gems cos Christmas You was literally coming out as soon as the event was done and I was saving for her.

But I risked it

and didn’t make it =_=

I think it was the update to include the LP multiplier that made that event a lil more competitive

20. Either YouMaru for bein my first time tiering or YohaRuby since that’s the 1st time - and currently only - that I cleared all the points rewards :D

21. I’ve taken part in every event since I started playing SIF, so aside from the obvious answer of “Events that happened before I started” (Like the School Idol Diary events, or most of Maki’s events, she has some really pretty event cards ;3;), I’d say the event going on when I started, which was the DiaRuby Tanabata Score Match

Granted, when I started I didn’t know the game so I figured I’d take my time with it and take part in the next event, plus at the time I didn’t really know Aqours

Still feel a lil bad I didn’t try :’D

22. The recent YohaMari new years cards~ Told myself when the event came out on JP that I’d tier for it, and so I did :D

they’re both so pretty!

I also really like the DiaRiko ice skating cards, even if I didn’t properly take part in that event ;3; (I got T3 so I still got a copy of Dia)

And finally, partially just cos OTP, I’m fond of the Helper ChikaYou cards :3

And I’m gonna leave that list there for now, cos I actually like a few others, but this entire thing is already long enough 8′D

23. Probably Token events, cos they feel a little more chill?

I also quite like Challenge Festivals; the lil chibis are nice :D

24. I have no clue. I’m seen other people say SIF could do a thing like what FE Heroes does with its gauntlets, and while I do think it’d be interesting, I also see how FEH’s gauntlets turn out, and I feel like a popularity contest would just turn into a mess in SIF given how “best girl” opinions get.

Not to mention there’s a possible risk of what happens in FEH as well; that some people might not actually back their favourite and instead back whoever’s doing the best.

25. Mari for Aqours, Nico for u’s :’D

Kanan’s a close 2nd for Aqours and I thiiiink Nozomi might be 2nd for u’s??

not nearly as much of You or Maki tho ;3;

26. I don’t have an awful lot of cards from one particular set, but from what I can count, its a tie between Aqours’ swimsuit set and Valentines set; 5 each

27. Mostly Aqours cos I love them so much, plus its a little easier to scout them since they come out after events while u’s come out during events, and any gems I have are goin toward the event or bein saved

As for girls, mostly You and Mari (tho like ive said, I’m seriously Mari blessed, so I almost expect her to come home lol), and if I do scout u’s, it’d probably be for Maki

28. I have a fair few now, and they’re all from login bonuses, aside from a handful which I got from the sticker shop

I’ve gotten all the login promos for EN since Cherry Pana

And I also got Christmas Maki when she was added to the sticker shop for a limited time :D

As for non-UR promos, I have nearly all the Angelic Angel promo Rs, plus Maki’s SoreBoku R (to match a figure I have of her :D)

29. Solos :’D

Genuinely tho, my gems mostly go toward events, since I tend to stick in at them. But I can still save (I saved for Christmas You after all)

Rn, i’m trying to save. I’m telling myself it’ll either be for Angel Mari or Cyber You, but if I don’t gem scout either of them, then I’ll basically keep saving till whenever for whatever

30. Either idolise SRs (since I tend to save my pink N stickers a lot more, tho im currently trying to save my silver S stickers) or buy SR skill level teachers from the shop for my cards

31. Probably half the full combos I’ve gotten, since i’d either been struggling to FC them for ages, or I wasn’t expecting to do it lol

32. Planning to do an additional scout for Valentines Mari (I already had her at that point, but I wanted to see if I could get a 2nd copy to idolise her), but I hadn’t paid attention to when rate up would be finished on the set, so by the time I sat down to maybe get ready to scout, rate up was done. :’’’(

33. Nowhere particularly weird? Maybe in the car once, cos I thought I’d be sitting for long enough to get through a song while mum was off doing something, so when she came back i was still playing.

And then she started driving, so I was playing while the car was going :’D

missed a lot of notes I did ;3;

actually, this was during the last event, and I was playing a match

I think i came last, I cant remember lol

34. I have no idea :’D i see so many others come up with interesting ideas for SIF sets, but I have no real ideas myself. Maybe a fantasy set? Princesses and knights and wizards?

35. (ooft, gonna have to think on this one :’D and look at a whole bunch of cards)

Honoka - Circus - I actually quite like the Circus set in general; the tutu-d leotards in the unidolised, and the details in the idolised, like the hats and the frills~Eli - Rock - I skipped mentioning this one under the event cards point since that bit was gettin busy as it was, But I can cheat and mention it here~Kotori - Pajama Party - So plush~ her little braid in the idolised looks so cute~ especially peaking out of her fluffy birb hoodUmi - Seven Lucky Gods - It looks so elegant and pretty ;3;Rin - lilywhite default - So this is a promo card that came w/ lilywhite’s final single (The other members had similar cards and the other singles had similar releases), so its never coming to EN unless KLab adds it to the sticker shop :’’) But I still really like this one, just for how dainty and elegant it is. It suits Rin~Maki - Cafe Maid - I could technically use this opportunity to pick another card of Maki’s that i really love but...bruh I can’t. Cafe Maid ;3;Nozomi - Fairy - the Fairy set in general is really pretty ;3; I love the little details and flowers, and I like that Nozomi’s ear is actually kinda pointed as well~Hanayo - Cherry - Another promo, but this one just looks so shiny and sparkly, and again, just the little details in this~Nico - Dancer - Another really elegant looking one. Bonus points for having Nico’s hair down, cos I really do think she looks nice like that~

36. (Aqours might be easier, just cos less cards lol)

Chika - Initial UR - She looks so happy, and honestly the lighting in both versions looks so nice!Riko - Ice Skating - Genuinely couldn’t think of one that I really liked :’D So I’m listing the event card againKanan - Yukata - I own this card, she was my first UR :D So I do have a bit of a soft spot for it. Helps that she looks so pretty in it~Dia - Job - I’ll admit,she looks gorgeous as fuck! damn beautiful card!You - all of them Animal - okay, i legit love all of You’s cards, and I was half tempted to say her Aquarium R cos my genuine reaction to idolising her for the first time was “She’s so pretty!”. But Animal You tho... ;3; Tho if I’m honest, I genuinely do love all of her cards!!Yoshiko - Animal - She’s a shit scorer, but damn her card looks amazing, particularly the idolised. I love the pastelle colours of her dress (and the other girls in the set) and I love her dynamic pose, and her hair and how its floating in the water~Hanamaru - Angel - She looks so cute w/ her sleepy expression in the unidolised, hugging that lil star pillow. Plus Angel just as a whole is a nice set.Mari - Circus - Another case like with You where I could easily say “all of them”, but something about her Circus card. I love the post of the unidolised with her doing the rope climbing, and then pink corset of her dress in the idolised~ And that lil puppet~~Ruby - Time Traveller - I quite like this set in general; Ruby’s outfit is so cute in both versions~

37. I have no fucking clue :’D As of right now on EN, i’d like some of the features that JP has since they’re just straight up practical (song sorter, easier practising and team management), but as for anything new, I don’t know.

[fanatic-writers]

Loki Has A Hair Kink (and Thor Gets A Hammer)

A/n: So remember that idea I posted yesterday? Well, I had time to do it sooner than I thought so here it is. If you want to read the actual myth click here click here (The book I have combines them for some reason) otherwise enjoy! (Note: The book I own isn’t 100% accurate so the myths I tell may be different than the ones I link plus most of these I’m reciting mainly from memory although I look through the book to make sure I have most things right) 

So there’s like Sif right? And she apparently she likes herself (Which every woman should), she’s super vain, and has super long long long like really long golden hair. And so Sif is supposed to represent the Earth right? So everyone really likes her hair wish apparently represents grain, I don’t know.

Um, so basically Sif is like that one friend you have, the really popular one that has hair so soft everyone wants to touch it for some reason (like maybe because it’s soft) Basically Loki, I don’t know if he’s jealous of Sif’s hair or something, so he shaves it all off for some reason.

And Thor finds out and is like really fucking mad. Like really fucking mad, like he’s going to kill someone. So Thor is like it has to be Loki because he is the only one that is that much of a dick. Even though they are like besties right now. They are like blood brothers, they are tight.

Thor finds Loki out doing Loki like things. So maybe he’s like lurking in the shadows trying to see Thor’s reaction or something maybe he’s shaving someone else's head (as much as I love the dude he’s kinda messed up ok)

OK so, Thor finds Loki and is basically killing him, hands around his throat, he’s not even sure if it was really Loki at this point but he’s all full of testosterone and is like, you are going to die.

And Loki is all like, whoa, settle down bro, I’ll just make your wife a new set of hair, and it will be better than it was before.

Thor is like, find whatever but you better give her hair soon because she’s butt ugly without it. (Thor is such a fucking dick) (Disclaimer Thor didn’t say this but why would he be this upset about his wife losing her hair)

Loki goes to this place that I don’t know how to spell or say to go talk to some dwarfs because they build things, and that’s all they kinda do because they are pretty much stupid, slightly smarter than Frost Giants but not by much.

And while he is like there talking to the dwarfs saying hey you need to give me the stuff to make Sif’s hair, he’s also making arrangement to make a gift for Odin and Frey, who are also mad at Loki for some unknown reason, but everyone pretty much hates him so it’s really not that much of a surprise. (#relatable)

So the dwarf’s make the hair and this magical spear that will never miss its target (It’s like Hawkeye in spear form) And they also make this ship that is basically the Tardis because you can put a shit ton of stuff in it but it never gets full but it also can fold up and fit into your pocket. (so maybe the dwarfs are smarter than you’d think). Apparently, the ship is also so magical that it can fly too, because why not. (Ok fine the dwarves are smart)

So Loki is really happy, he’s all Thank you for these things because you are great workers but you’re still kind of stupid. And while he’s being all happy for some reason, he hears this dwarf Brock and his brother Sindri say that they can make 3 objects that are way better than the gifts Loki has made for the Gods.

Loki knows that the dwarfs are somewhat competitive, so he accepts the challenge, he’s all you know what go ahead and make all the things so that he’ll have more to give to the Gods and it will make them, even more, happier.

BUT it’s like a wager, so if Loki loses, he loses his head and if Brock loses then Loki gets head. So Brock is making all his stuff and his brother is working the thing so the fire doesn’t go out (THE BELLOWS, that's what they’re called) and Loki, since he knows that Brock is going to win, he turns into a fly that bites people.

So he’s biting Brock, and Brock is just pushing through the pain. And Sindri comes back with this huge Boar because you make that in fire apparently… and it has the power to be a second sun.

Then they go back and Sindri is making things again, and Brock is pumping the bellows. Loki is still a fly, stings Brock on the cheek, and Brock keeps fighting through it because that’s what you do when you get stung by a fly, you fight through it even if it hurts. (Moral of the story guys, don’t give up EVER unless a fly stings you in the eye then give up)

So when Sindri comes back, he has the ring of fertility, which I didn’t know why anyone would want it, but you get one. Then Sindri throws iron into the fire instead of gold which he’s been using the rest of the time.

And Loki who knew he was going to lose in the first place, figures he’s going to die, so he stings Brock in the eyelid... eye? So much so that his face is gushing blood. So Brock is like I got to take a second, I am bleeding here bro, sorry I can’t even see what I’m working on.

Sindri is like I guess we are done I can’t keep working if you are not going to pump the fire and he pulls out this hammer that the handle is too short and he’s really upset because he thinks his brother has screwed them over, but Brock is still like we are going to win either way because we have these things and they are better than what Loki has so we be good.

*Back on Asgard* Loki gives Odin the spear that is like Hawkeye, and gives the ship Tardis thing to Frey, and gives Sif’s new hair to Thor and this hair is now declared more beautiful than Sif’s hair ever was.

(But keep in mind, Loki never gives Sif her real hair back, so maybe he keeps it hidden in his house somewhere, and maybe he just looks at it once in awhile or just touches it because it’s so soft, total hair kink.)

So Brock gives his gifts to the Gods, and he gives the hammer which is Mjolnir to Thor and they decided that Brock wins and Loki loses which no one is surprised about because Loki always loses. (#AlsoRelatable)

So because Brock wins he gets Loki’s head, but Loki is a little shit. So he’s like, you can have my head, we wagered for my head, but you can not touch my neck, that was nowhere in the deal. So Brock is pissed because Loki outsmarted him, but Loki outsmarts everyone so he should have seen it coming.

So in retaliation, she sews Loki’s mouth shut instead of cutting off his head. To which I say, why didn’t he just cut off half his head, or shove a spear through it or something, there are plenty of ways you can kill someone other than just cutting off their head.

But then at the end, Thor being Thor, testing out his new hammer destroys peaceful homesteads just because he can (see I told you he’s a dick)

A/n: I hoped you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making it. If you want more leave suggestions in our ask box. Requests for fanfics are open so send those in too.! Fell free to just send us messages, we love hearing from you guys! -G