#and its been genuinely a dream since i was a little kid to be a published writer and i still do want to achieve that someday

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Y'know I can barely call myself a writer, since I haven't finished anything serious in years, and the last time I wrote a full story I was a young teen and wasn't really good at it, but goooooood I wanna release a book. Like before I started doing visual art my dream was to be a writer, like, with published official books that you can buy and read. And I still do love writing but recently ive been leaning more towards writing fanfiction, which isn't a bad thing, I just wish I could do both. And like, I have so many ideas that I want to write, like original stories that I'd kill to have published someday, but there's absolutely no motivation in my brain. What the FUCK happened to the brain power I had as a kid, when I'd start writing any idea I had with no critical thought, and I either finished it or not but at least I tried, and I'd write all the time, so many short stories that were honestly shit quality but at least I was doing something. Ough

[tonyboneysblog]

MOTHER HEN: PART SIX

parings: hawks x mother!reader

wordcount: 1.7k

warnings: none!

notes: TECHNICALLY ITS BEEN THREE DAYS. also hawks wtf are you doing in this fic bro….

summary: you, the mother of Fumikage Tokoyami, are just a simple nurse! Who caught the eye of a certain pro.

cold & scared.

That is how hawks feels at the moment, he’s getting fucking sick of these nightmares- they just get worse and worse.

he’s shaking, he can feel it.

he’s terrified to scream, doesn’t wanna wake you up- so only small grunts come out from him.

You wake up anyways, of course.

“Hawks?” Your voice calls to him, he’s still snug up next to you, using your chest as some makeshift pillow.

You shake him lightly, he wakes up with a gasp, heavy breathing.

“H-hey!” You grab onto him, cradling his head back to your chest.

He hears you whisper soft praises in his ear. he woke you up, he realizes.

“Y/n..?” He looks up at you.

“...are you okay?”

No, he’s not. He doesn’t want you to worry though, so he lies.

“I’m fine.”

“Hawks…you can tell me.” You caress his hair softly, it’s like you know his weakness.

But he can’t tell you, genuinely he can’t.

“Nightmares? I used to have them a lot too.” You smile nervously.

Of course you break his resolve with that.

He starts to ramble quickly, “Fuck- y/n I can’t stand them, they’re so scary I-i can’t-“

You rub his back, lovingly.

it makes him want to throw up.

especially after what he saw in that dream, you, hurt, screaming.

You make your way to his soft feathers, brushing through them softly, fixing them.

would that be considered preening?

“I don’t want to sleep anymore y/n, I can’t take it.”

Your heart breaks, Fumikage always dealt with nightmares after Ryuji.

Ryuji.

“Nightmares, they just get worse every night don’t they?” You say softly.

Hawks sighs, “I shouldn’t have bothered you with it.”

Ryujis quirk is dream manipulation, that’s how he always got you to apologize to him after an agreement.

After he and hawks little spat at the store, you bet Ryuji decided to torture him a bit.

You’ll stop those bad dreams for hawks.

You smile at him, “Don’t worry, they’ll be gone soon.”

then you kiss his temple.

you kiss his temple.

like you always did when Fumikage had a bad one.

Fucking muscle memory- always kicks you in the ass.

Hawks looks shocked, like he didn’t expect it, obviously because it was random.

“S-sorry, Fumi-“

“What are you trying to get out of me y/n?” Hawks looks at you hurt and confused.

Kinda like you reset the way he thought, or dealt with things- he always flirted with you so this probably didn’t help him.

It just hurt him since you always take the, “no romantic” approach.

“What?”

“I’ve been pinning you for weeks, a-and you just keep giving me these mixed signals?!” His voice raises slightly.

“I-I..well I don’t know hawks-“

“A-and then you asked me to kiss you last night? The same night you were flirting with some guy at the bar?”

Well you definitely did do that..

“Now- here you are comforting me like I’m some child.”

“Well.. I’m just used to Fumi-“

Hawks pulls himself away from your touch, “Just answer the question.”

You were dreading this slightly, you knew hawks was a little more flirty than most of your guy friends.

Truthfully, you didn’t know what you wanted.

You thought you did with Ryuji but…he hurt your son, your Fumikage.

You don’t want that ever happing again.

“Hawks..I want to be honest with you.”

“Then be honest, y/n.”

“I can’t, not after Ryuji.” Your voice is raw, you hated what Ryuji did, what he’s doing now.

“I can’t have someone hurt Fumikage like that again.”

He clutches his fists, “I’m a hero y/n, what do you expect from me- to hurt some kid?!”

“Well his father was a hero too and try and try to ask me where he is now.” You say bitterly.

Then it’s quiet, you could almost hear Ryuji for a minute.

Hawks gets up from your bed, “I’m done.”

“What..?”

He immediately rushes out of your home, past the kitchen, the one where he first gave you his number.

Past the hallway, the one where Ryuji hit your son.

Then out the door, he doesn’t even slam it.

He’s gentle, like he doesn’t wanna cause a ruckus.

Your face feels wet, tears are streaming down it.

Why couldn’t you just say nothing? why’d you have to tell him the truth?

Why did you say anything.

Fumikage opens the door, his face shifts into shock and runs over to you.

“Mother, what happened?” His voice filled with worry.

“Nothing, Fumi…just a bad dream.”

Fumikage hugs you, you hug back.

And you break.

Fumikage can feel his heart straining, he doesn’t know how to comfort you, he knows you’re not telling him the truth at the very least.

“I’m sorry Fumi.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, mom.”

And you cry, until you can’t anymore.

You’re probably just worrying Fumikage all over again.

You collect yourself, “I have to go run some errands..”

“Do you want me to come with?”

“No, no it’s okay.”

Fumikage doesn’t need to see him.

It’s only one errand anyways.

You stalk over to your car, you have work tomorrow morning- then the next week Fumikage has the sports festival.

You rack your brain with everything you need to do, what’s happening next week, trying to distract yourself from the days earlier events.

All while you drive to his house, getting out of the car, knocking on the door.

It’s opens.

“Y/n?” Ryuji says confused.

You look down at your feet, “Ryuji, please leave hawks alone.”

You hated looking at him.

Ryuji scoffs, “why, the poor baby can’t handle a couple bad dreams?”

“Ryuji…please.” You beg him softly.

You hated begging him.

You look up at him, you can tell his own quirk is taking a toll on him. His eyes are dark and purple, he’s looks pale.

“I know it’s effecting you too, I don’t want that for you Ryuji.”

You hated how you always lied.

“You and your charm, y/n.” Ryuji shakes his head.

“You have no reason to hurt hawks, we’re not even dating Ryuji-please.”

You hated how much you cared.

“Is that the only reason that you’re coming over here?” Ryuji says slowly, carefully, softly even.

“I know you’re sensible…with whatever love you still have for me in your heart- please use towards not harming hawks..he- he doesn’t deserve it.” You plead.

Ryuji sighs, thinking it over.

He looks down, kicking dirt slightly.

“Fine, it’s fucking exhausting for me anyways.”

You smile at him, “I can not begin to thank-“

“Now get off my property y/n, i gave you what you wanted.”

You nod quickly and walk over to your car.

Well convincing Ryuji was easier than you expected, then again he always listened to you.

Hawks on the other hand was doing no errands, did he have a job? Yes! did he want to do said job after the morning he just had?

no.

he was exhausted from all of these nightmares plaguing him, he though maybe sleeping next to you would help but no!

Even the hero’s could tell something was up, said hero was Mirko.

“What crawled up your ass this morning?”she cheerfully called to hawks.

“The usual.” He called back from his post.

Mirko smiles, “I got some coffee, get down here will ya?”

Hawks flies down next to mirko, where she almost hands him a nice coffee but when he goes to grab it…she pulls away?

“Nope, tell me what’s wrong first.”

He sighs and goes for the drink again, “Lady problems.”

Mirko bursts out laughing, effectively moving the coffee can away from his grasp.

“You and the lady’s man…you’re starting to act like a virgin yknow? Can’t ever keep a girl…” She smacks his shoulder.

But hawks doesn’t reply, or even laugh.

Mirko looks at him, “..seriously?”

“It’s hard to get your game on when you’re always busy Mirko…”

Mirko laughs again, clutching her stomach and flailing back and forth like a kid being tickled.

“God, that’s probably why your girl doesn’t want you!”

“She knows..”

“Oh really?”

“No, no she doesn’t know- why does that even matter?!” Hawks says with agitation.

Mirko plops the coffee can on his head, “depends, what typa girl is she?”

“Doesn’t matter, I left her earlier today cause she didn’t know what she wanted.”

Mirko shakes her head, “that’s how it’s like with the younger ones, hawks..they don’t know what they want!”

Hawks sighs and looks away, “she’s actually 32..”

Mirko stays quiet.

“And she has a kid.”

“Hawks, what the fuck.” Mirko says breathlessly, staring at the people crossing the street.

“And she had some type of abusive relationship before she met me.”

“gyad dayum, hawks that’s probably why she’s a little iffy, you numb nut..”

“Her son called me that too.”

Mirko gasps, “you met her son??”

The two of them are quite, hawks is a little glad he was able to let this off of his chest.

“And what did you say to her…cause I’m assuming you fought earlier today since you…’left her’”. She says the last part with quotations.

“I said I was done…” hawks looks away ashamed, regret filling his body.

He’s really liked you, would you forgive him for such a moment of weakness?

…would Fumikage forgive that…?

“Hawks-what are you doing man, get it together, you lost some traumatized milf- you know how many people want that?!”

“A lot?”

Mirko shoots up her hands, “yes- a lot of people!”

Mirko sighs, “I think you fumbled man…”

And hawks just stares at the ground, maybe he should apologize to you- no, nope hawks is not going to face you.

Truthfully he doesn’t like dealing with things he doesn’t have to deal with.

he still has your blanket.

Smells like you too.

“Hawks..”

“Mirko.”

Mirko pulls his ear, “Your ears are red”

“What should I do? I don’t really wanna talk to her..” hawks looks back up at Mirko.

“How olds her kid?”

“16.”

Mirko raises her voice, “Six-“ then she sighs, “why am I even surprised.”

“He goes to U.A. too”

Mirkos eyes light up, “that’s great, just wait til the sports festival and make him your sidekick!”

Hawks nods in agreement.

“Now I have to go on patrol” he throws the empty can towards Mirko.

Hawks then flies up towards the skys, thinking of you and Fumikage.

How he could possibly fix this.

well at least he has Mirko to guide him…?

TAG LIST: comment to be tagged😘😘

@lost-in-horrorland @boopjuice @validveenus @qardasngan @arminsarlerts @star-the-rabid-dog @bunni-teeth81 @lightsgore @portgasdbruh @camejlo-35 @marsbars09 @tharae514 @yoongiwantsme @kimahrii

everyone I see yall comment it lowkey makes my day better….DADDY TONY LOVES YOU GUYS.

[monzamash]

it's impossible to win — daniel ricciardo

daniel ricciardo x you (femreader) | 2.5k summary – when you buy concert tickets with your ex but break up a couple of months before the gig, do you go or cut your losses? rating – mature (sexual references, coarse language) a/n – this was inspired by a lovely ask i received during my 2k celebration and based around the band alexisonfire x masterlist

just sent you the AOF tickets.

i told you to keep yours. you love them as much as i do. read

The glow of your phone was too bright, too harsh and so was the reality you didn’t want to face any time soon. You couldn’t keep them. How could you when the reputation of being the ‘notorious ex girlfriend of Daniel Ricciardo’ – man of the people, loved by millions shadowed you everywhere you went?

He was loved more than most and certainly more than you.

She was never good enough anyway; a parasite, they said when the news broke on the petty gossip pages, exposing that you and Daniel were no longer together, itemising every little detail of your downfall for the world to see. Those years of memories, years of loving privately disappeared and in its place were painful ones to heal. They were the best years of your life, or so you thought – blissfully unaware of the distance slowly growing between you and the man you loved more than most – but it wasn’t enough.

You weren't enough to fight for and especially not enough to love more than driving around a racetrack eight months out of the year. He was never there, out of sight and out of mind, leaving you battling for his attention. You weren’t cut out for it, simply put by him while on the other side of the world. It started as a late night phone call to ease the ache in your chest and to keep him close but he couldn’t have been further away. Physically and emotionally. Drifting.

“Babe, this is what you signed up for.”

“No, it’s what I tolerate – it’s what I sacrifice to love you.”

You broke down, knowing this was the end of your relationship and the only thing you could genuinely put your name to. You had lost yourself completely to his life, no longer something you could call your own. Abandoned dreams and forsaken friendships all so you could be there for him; drawn in to his world, naively consumed by his safety and the promise of a life lived together, not divided by oceans – lost to the fishes.

That was until you re-emerged from the lavish hotels and the private planes, sans Daniel – sans your soulmate. The day you ended that phone call, you knew he would be the hardest one to let go of; eternally the one that got away and the one relationship you would have to tell future boyfriends about. And they would probably gasp and ask, not the formula one driver? and you would have to nod and quash their insecurities because everyone loved Daniel.

But nobody loved him more than you do – did. Not even close.

“He said you should use the ticket and honestly, I don’t even think he’ll show up. He hasn’t come to anything we’ve organised since you two broke up – he’s not the kid we knew back in high school anymore… That’s why you dumped his arse, right?”

Right, but you couldn’t say that.

“I didn’t dump him. I just…” Just told him that he’s wasted the best years of my life chasing him around the world.

“… Said that if he couldn’t be there when I needed him or spent more than two seconds a year with me then I couldn’t do it anymore. And that’s it.” Well, not exactly.

“Sounds like a dumping to me and rightfully so. Look, I love Danny but he’s hard to be friends with, let alone pretending to be in domestic bliss with…”

Yes, but you respected Daniel too much to admit that. Hannah was his friend too, all of them were. You were kids all grown up, now adults wading their way through the treacherous seas of the real world, pretending like they had it all figured out. Ungracefully and riddled with anxiety but finally immune to bullshit and aware of what to expect out of an adult relationship.

The standards were higher now than when you were young and in love. Daniel was your childhood best friend, after all. Or more accurately, the boy you met on the first day of high school, all crooked teeth and bundles of frizzy brown curls. You were acne-ridden and shy, the weirdo girl, they called you until you became friends with Danny. He knew everyone and was loved by everyone – that was the one trait that had followed him through life.

He was the class clown and a cute distraction from the torture of high school but you weren’t the only one who thought so. Lunchtime quickly became your favourite part of every day because you got to sit beside him and eat your Vegemite sandwich, knowing all the other girls in your year seethed seeing you with him. 'That weird mole and Riccardo being friends doesn’t make sense' they’d whisper thinking you couldn’t hear them. But you could and they were right about one thing – you were only friends.

The slightest scent of a spring breeze reminded you of the hours you spent sat under the shady gum trees, watching him playing footy with the other boys while you fiddled with your walk-man and scratched the discs beyond repair as you changed them out, battling with the Sony aux chord that was hanging on for dear life by a slither of duct tape. You were fifteen when Daniel handed you a burnt CD with a hand-drawn skull in the shape of a heart and the letters AOF written in bold black sharpie, smudged from his impatience.

“What’s this?” You asked with squinted eyes, looking up at him and the blistering sun.

“The best fucking album you’ll ever hear.”

He told you years later that he was so proud of himself, thrilled that he was showing you new music. His competitive streak wasn’t exclusive to the karting track – no, it snuck its way into everything he did, specifically when it came to album recommendations and especially with you.

“It’s called Watch Out by Alexisonfire… you know, that punk band I said you would love. Give it a try. I promise it’s better than that fuckin’ Offspring album you won’t stop listenin’ to.”

“Well even if I do like it, I wont tell you now dickhead.”

But he was right. So infuriatingly right. You loved it, maybe because you loved him. He was your best friend, your closest confidante, your twin flame – all cheesy grin and beautiful brown eyes. Lips so full that whenever he spoke, you couldn’t look away. Dangerously entranced by your best friend. A label that haunted you every time it slipped from his tongue and one you desperately wanted to rip off like a band-aid.

You thought those feelings would be the kind of ones you'd painfully bury and take to your grave, heartbreakingly unrequited – until you found a hand-written note crumpled up at the bottom of the ripped CD sleeve. The blotchy blue pen and creases in the lined paper made it hard for you to read his distinctive, yet messy boyish cursive.

song 4 – side walk when she walks (made me think of you)

The sound of frantic clicking bounced off your lilac coloured walls as you skipped to track four; a spinning screech filled the anticipated silence before the sound of a melodic guitar filtered through the muffled headset.

Dressed to kill, you look so right I am drunk with lust tonight Your wounds are opening wide And they might be just my size

Warmth rushed to your chest, your neck and up to your cheeks when you realised what it all meant. And it wasn’t the last time Daniel made your body feel like it was on fire, sitting on his messy bedroom floor and kissing until you couldn’t breathe, the soft sounds of your new favourite band playing on his stereo – heart beating so fast you could’ve died, happily in his arms.

But you weren’t horny teenagers anymore and that memory was blurrier now than it had ever been. It had been muddied with all the sad ones, the fights and the tears – the irreversible emotional damage that you had done to each other. You weren’t a saint, god knows and you took full responsibility for your part and so did Daniel. But that was where it ended – in a seemingly amicable split.

No love lost, only misplaced for a while.

It felt like all eyes were watching you as you walked into the small club, ears already tingling with the reverberation bouncing off the blackened walls – if only they could talk. Musky bodies and the hint of cigarettes filled the air while your combat boots stuck to the floor with every step you took into the lion’s den, making your path to closure hard fought. Maybe it was a sign to turn back; anything could’ve convinced you to swing by the exit on your left until you saw him.

He was dressed head to toe in black with a cap securely pulled over his eyes, hiding away from the curious ones. In any other crowd it would’ve been a piss-poor disguise, so obviously him but he blended in with the dark walls and the growing crowd, all wearing the unofficial uniform of an elder emo – baggy sweater, ripped skinny jeans and torn up Vans. And you were no different.

"You made it!!", a friend greeted, pulling you into a rib-crushing hug while you took in the circling faces. There were a few you never thought you would see again, people who were only your friend by proxy and ones he’d picked up along the way. And it was clear by the way everyone greeted you that he hadn’t dragged your name through the mud, maybe he kept the details of the break up quiet like you.

But the reality for Daniel was that he was too broken to even process what had happened. He came home to an empty apartment after a double-header with no way to contact you, to make things right. Years and years of loving someone doesn’t disappear over night and he wasn’t entirely convinced that the couple of months you’d been apart was enough either. And he was right. The sharp pain in his chest and the way his hands shook when he saw you confirmed it. He was fucked.

“Fuck,” Daniel groaned and turned to his mate, “What am I doing here, man…” 

All he could do was let out a soft laugh and pat his friend on the shoulder, “You’re an idiot.”

Daniel readjusted his cap and let out a strangled, “I know.”

You promised your friend that you’d be fine, like water off a ducks back. All the side glances and murmurs meant nothing to you anymore, the insecurity you had now was nothing compared to when you were actually dating Daniel. Consumed in his bubble, unable to escape the crushing scrutiny. Another wag bites the dust, they said, gone with no explanation other than your obvious absence in the paddock.

It didn’t matter anymore; nothing could hurt more than losing him.

But you still felt it, bubbling away in the pit of your stomach. Years and years of loving someone doesn’t disappear over night, especially when you thought it would last forever. Nostalgia won the battle against the wound in your chest for a moment, still festering without treatment – knowing the only person who could heal it was miles away emotionally but was now in your line of vision. Seeing him in the flesh hurt more than you’d anticipated, more than you could’ve ever imagined. You still loved him, after everything.

The bubbles of excitement quickly dissipated and twisted into knots when you thought about what you had lost – a wave of anxiety washed over, churning away at any ounce of courage you’d mustered to even turn up to this stupid fucking show. You were cursing yourself, cursing your friend who had convinced you that he probably wouldn’t even turn up and that the odds were in your favour. She was so, so wrong.

“Ignore him and come dance.”

She was in damage control, dragging you away from the small gathering of friends and Daniel, who couldn’t tear his eyes away. His warm stare burned holes through your leather jacket as he watched you walk off into the crowd – and away from him again. It was becoming a habit of yours that he loathed. The house lights felt like a spotlight on your bruised ego but you pushed through the warm bodies, putting as much distance as you could between you and your past. The support band sounded great, mostly because it drowned out the soul-crushing thoughts swirling in your mind and brought you some much needed reprieve from your pity party.

You didn’t feel like yourself at all – you were the shell of the woman you used to be and you certainly weren’t the woman you wanted to show up as either. Strong, independent, single and thriving – you were none of those things, entirely the opposite in every way, so you had to dig deep and fake it. And you were a great actor but not tonight.

Not when you felt a gentle poke to your bicep. The lights rotating and strobing above made it impossible to see who was standing beside you, hand offering an icy bottle of Corona with a wedge of lime. It nearly slipped from your shaky fingers when you grasped it, whispering a soft thank you as the house lights went down and the swell of the surging crowd rumbled under foot.

“I wanted to have a chat but…” Daniel pointed to the stage, yelling over the drummer that had taken his rightful place behind his kit.

“Maybe later?” And you nodded yes, sending him a reassuring smile as the band began to play.

You could be diplomatic and hear him out – you owed yourself that at least and deserved closure from all the unanswered questions.

Daniel kept his distance, knowing he was in the wrong and that letting you go was the biggest mistake of his life. And it wasn’t long until his heart stalled in his chest when he heard that painfully recognisable guitar riff filter through the thick air, the one he couldn’t listen to without thinking of you and he could see the way your eyes glazed with tears when you heard it; the opening chords to the song he had dedicated to you all those years ago on that stupid burnt cd.

Maybe you missed him too.

“This ones called side walk when she walks.”

You reached down, without even looking and grasped his hand that was hanging loosely between your stiff bodies. Daniel interlocked his shaking fingers with yours and squeezed them as your head dropped to his shoulder, resting there while you both swayed to the music. You felt safe for the first time in months, comforted by his presence.

Of course you missed him. He was your person.

And this was your band; the band you shared together for over half your lives, their songs played while you fell in love with one another. They were the band you lost your virginity to, humming softly in the background and wishing that feeling would last forever. You remembered blasting ‘to a friend’ in the car on the way to your graduation and Daniel nearly getting pulled over by the cops, laughing until your sides hurt. And they were the band you would always save for your road trips along the coast, both there in Los Angeles and back home.

These were the songs that soundtracked your life with Daniel.

They were your band – and they’d brought you back together.

a//n – this was wildly self indulgent so if you hated it, let me know lol but also lmk if you liked it because i loved writing it x masterlist | askbox

[b0r3dtod3ath]

hi! could i req lando x old money!reader blurb? maybe like meeting her parents, or going to her father’s annual christmas gala together, i dunno..

thanks!!

A/N: Hii! Omg I love this idea. Actually it popped up in my brain last summer but I never really wrote it so big thanks for requesting! Let me know if any of you are interested in a part two!

Word count: ~1.8k

Saint Tropez - one of the most popular places in French Riviera. Known for its beautiful weather, sun-kissed beaches and picturesque landscape. Every summer Y/N's family would spend at least a month there. Cruising on a yacht and resting in a mansion could get quite boring when done alone so last summer Y/N's parents invited the Norisses. The two families had been friends since the early 2000s, famously attending many high-society galas and events. Their kids used to know each other but haven't met in a long time due to their hectic lives. Lando would be a bit ashamed to admit but he was excited to spend his summer break there. Being with his parents made him feel like a teenager again. Not only that but also the fact that he couldn't wait to meet Y/N. He had heard about her from his sisters but in fact, has little to no memories of her.

As the families met at the dock, the yacht swaying in the background, the two couples hugged and laughed leaving the young ones to awkwardly greet each other. Y/N, taking off her sunglasses that protected her eyes from the sun reflecting in the blue water, approached with a subtle smile that held a hint of curiosity. She extended her hand, a gesture in a formal but warm manner. "Lando, isn't it?" her melodic voice hit her companion's ears. Lando, with his easy charm and green-blue eyes that would make most of the ladies lose their minds, clasped her hand in a firm yet gentle handshake. "That's right. A pleasure to finally meet you." His words were accompanied by a genuine smile, a sigh of relief.

The first evening brought the families together for a two-family dinner on the yacht's deck. The air was infused with the scent of sea salt and the warm sun was just to set. The table, covered with crystal and silverware, glowed in the soft light of candles. Y/N and Lando found themselves seated next to each other, their parents subtly orchestrating the arrangement. At first, they didn't talk to each other much - focusing mainly on the food and wine while also encouraging their parents to tell some stories from when they were young. The two of them exchanged glances and smiles still waiting for the other one to make the first move. After the last course, as the dessert and coffee reached its end, Lando found a moment to break away. Leaning towards Y/N, he suggested, "Would you care for a stroll around the yacht? The night is too beautiful to be just sitting here.". With a subtle spark in her eyes, Y/N agreed. The two of them excused themselves as they slipped away from their parents.

Under the moonlit sky, Y/N and Lando strolled along the yacht's deck, the soft glow of the ship's lights casting a warm ambience. The Mediterranean breeze whispered through the night, and the distant sound of the waves provided a soothing backdrop to their conversation. They paused at the railing, the yacht gently rocking beneath them. Y/N leaned on the side, her eyes fixed on the horizon. Lando joined her, the moon casting a silvery glow on his face. As the conversation flowed, they peeled away the layers of their lives, revealing dreams and aspirations. They went from talking about Lando's work to more deep, secret thoughts and feelings. Y/N wanted to avoid the Formula One subject, she knew who he was but didn't want him to think that it was a category she put him in. She spoke about her love for literature, and although Lando didn't have much to say in this field he was more than happy to listen. He found himself getting lost in her beauty as she shared about her passion. The night held an intimacy, a shared exploration of vulnerabilities. Y/N, confessed her love for the quiet moments, the beauty found in simplicity. It was surprising to her when Lando agreed with her "I know I'm rather a fast-paced life guy but I feel like my lifestyle allows me to appreciate moments like this even more". Y/N finally looked up from the shiny waves crashing to the side of the boat to see the man next to her looking at her with admiration. They held eye contact and smiled in silence, the chillness of a summer night ignored. That night they both felt a connection forming between them.

A few days later, as no clouds hung over St. Tropez, Y/N found herself once again on the terrace. Immersed in the embrace of a plush chair, she was captivated by the ending of one of the books she found on a bookshelf. Lando, drawn to the lovely scene, approached with a warm smile. "Mind if I sit here with you?" he asked. "Of course, Lan. Please, join me," Y/N responded, gesturing to the empty chair beside her. As he settled into his chair, warm sunlight washed both of their bodies. Y/N, bookmarking her page, looked up with a soft smile. "Have you read 'The Great Gatsby' before?" Lando shook his head, "No, but I've heard it's a classic. What's it about?". Y/N went on trying not to say too much and Lando listened, captivated by the vivid imagery painted by her descriptions. After a comfortable pause, the girl looked into her companion's eyes "You know, they turned this into a movie. How about we watch it together later?" Lando's grin widened at this idea, "That sounds fantastic. I'd love to.". "Great, meet me in my room at 9pm, I will figure out some snacks." she said, got up and left him alone.

Lando found himself standing outside Y/N's bedroom door at 9 sharp. The air was filled with anticipation as he raised his hand to knock. A soft sound of footsteps and the clinking of plates hinted at Y/N's preparations within. Y/N opened the door, her eyes sparkling with warmth. "Right on time. Come on in," she welcomed. The aroma of the room was very comforting, Lando couldn't explain it but it reminded him of Y/N a lot. He stepped into the dimly lit space, the flickering light from scented candles creating a cozy ambience. The room was decorated with touches of luxury, reflecting the social status of the family. Y/N, wearing comfortable yet stylish pyjamas, gestured towards the plush seating area she had arranged. "Make yourself at home. The movie is all set up," she said, her enthusiasm evident. As they settled in, the glow from the movie screen bathed the room in a soft luminescence. The cinematic adaptation of "The Great Gatsby" unfolded. Y/N and Lando shared the experience, their thoughts and emotions reflected in the glow of the screen. Throughout the movie, their laughter and shared comments added a layer of connection to the evening. The subtle tension between Gatsby and Daisy echoed in the room, mirroring the unspoken bond developing between Y/N and Lando. As the credits rolled, Y/N turned to Lando with a satisfied smile. "What did you think?" she asked, her eyes searching for his reaction. Lando, his gaze lingering on Y/N, grinned. "It was incredible.". To be honest, he didn't remember half of the movie as a beautiful person next to him captivated his attention. Y/N mirrored his smile. After a pause, Lando asked, "Do you think Gatsby's love for Daisy was genuine, or just an illusion he created?". Y/n leaned back, thinking about the question. "It's a bit of both, I think. Gatsby's love was genuine, but the illusions he created were born out of his desperation to recapture a past that had slipped away." Their discussion flowed seamlessly, weaving through literary analysis and personal interpretations. Deep eye contact was comforting and neither of them wanted to end it. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe we can make this a tradition. You should pick the next movie" she suggested, her eyes holding a promise of more shared movie nights.

And the days passed just like that. On the last night, as the clock struck midnight, the yacht sailed under a blanket of stars, the moon casting its silver glow on the deck. Lando, overwhelmed with his thoughts, wandered outside. The night air was infused with a sense of bittersweet anticipation. There, on the deck, he found Y/N, a alone figure under the dark sky. The distant sound of waves protected them from the silence. Y/N sat in contemplation, a cigarette in hand, the soft moonlight illuminating her features. "Mind if I join you?" Lando's voice cut through the serenity, and Y/N looked up, a small laugh escaped her lips as she retrospected on one of their first interactions. She allowed him to, the smoke from her cigarette to twist into the air. Lando sensed a subtle shift in Y/N's demeanour, a quiet sadness that hung in the air like the sea mist. "You seem a bit distant tonight," he remarked, his eyes tried to focus on the horizon but seemed to be too curious of her. Y/N took a drag of her cigarette, exhaling slowly. "I guess I've been thinking about tomorrow," she confessed, her eyes didn't even dare to look at him as it would cause even more pain. Lando nodded, a shared understanding passing between them. The unspoken bond they had formed over the past weeks had transformed the usually boring yacht trip into a place of shared laughter, quiet conversations, and stolen glances, making both of them feel like stupid teenagers who would sneak around behind their parents' backs. The impending departure, however, indicated an end to this state. "I'll miss this," Y/N admitted, her voice carrying the weight of unspoken sentiments. "I don't want this to end just because the trip does," Lando confessed, his voice steady. "Maybe we can explore what this could be beyond St. Tropez. I'd love the chance to continue getting to know you, to see where this could go." Sea, once the witness of shared stories and vulnerability, now observed the promise of possibilities.

Weeks passed since Lando and Y/N parted ways. Mornings felt different for Lando, mainly due to the lack of two things: sun and Y/N. He often catches himself wondering what Y/N could be doing at this very moment. Yes, he could just open Instagram and DM her but he felt like he needed to do something more refined. Although they got to know each other pretty well, he didn't want her to think that he was just a cocky, young fuckboy who wants nothing more than just a body. He had to show her that he truly cared about her. Then, one morning, a letter arrived. The envelope was outstanding, decorated with intricate patterns and sealed with a wax emblem. Lando's heart quickened as he recognized Y/N's handwriting, the anticipation building with each passing moment. As he carefully opened the envelope, Lando realized that their story was far from over. Whatever that envelope contained held the promise of a new beginning, a chance to reignite the spark that had ignited in the hot, summer days. With trembling hands, he opened the letter, his heart racing with anticipation.

my masterlist

here's a fic i wrote last summer that reminds me of this scenario

feb 5 2024

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗠𝗘

　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x fem!oc (Elena)

SUMMARY: Where Elena and Matt grew up together, fell in love as kids but realized too late. Will there be any hope for them?

WARNING: A little angst and mentions of cheating.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Part 2

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Elena was born and raised in Boston, in a two-story house, next door to one of the most beautiful houses in the city, but not because of its external beauty, but because of who lived inside.

Elena grew up being the next-door neighbor of the Sturniolo triplets, she also studied at the same school as the three of them, these two factors made her and the trio become almost a fantastic quartet.

The four of them grew up together, ran down the street every day together, got dirty with dirt and mud on rainy days together, played cooking together (they were forced by her) and, best of all, they made mini "vlogs" together throughout their childhood and pre-adolescence, becoming literally inseparable.

Nick was Elena's confidant, always there to listen to her and give faithful advice to the girl, giving her a shoulder to cry on and a company to laugh when needed. Nick trusted Elena with his eyes closed and loved her with all his heart, so much so that she was the first one he came out to.

Chris was her partner in crime, the two grew up playing pranks on their parents, brothers (on his side) and neighbors. Chris saw Elena as his anchor, losing count of how many times he entered the girl's room through the window in the early hours of the morning to vent or just to be able to sleep with her company, dispelling his biggest fears.

Matt was a different case. Matt was the boy who took her as his date to every school dance and accompanied her to every friend's party. Matt was the boy who bought Elena flowers every week and took her to the city's summer amusement parks, always making sure to get her a different teddy bear. Matt was the boy who made her heart flutter, but also stay in a sacred calm; that made her body freeze, but also warm with affection. He was the one who introduced the feeling of love to her...

But who said he did anything about it? Despite acting almost like her boyfriend, Matt was afraid of rejection, after all, his heart belonged 100% to Elena and he couldn't bear having it completely stolen from him if she denied it. And that's why, out of a silly but genuine fear, he lost her.

At the age of 17, Elena moved to New York with her parents after her mother received a job offer that she couldn't refuse and that would open doors for her career. Seeing her leave was one of the hardest things Matt has been through, but the most painful was seeing her post on Instagram, 6 months after she left. Elena was dating, and it wasn't him.

Over time, things changed, the triplets moved to Los Angeles and grew dramatically on social media, becoming extremely well-known and loved on the Internet.

And Elena... well, Elena finished school and started International Relations at NYU, working at a coffee shop near her house so she could save money, since she was engaged. That's right, her boyfriend, Jeremy, of almost 2 years had asked her to marry him. It was a big shock and Elena had to think a lot before accepting, but it was her dream, to have a successful career and raise a family. Right?

Elena and Jeremy were in the middle of a month of decisions for the wedding, decoration, food, cake, clothes, etc., so Elena was feeling overwhelmed, it was a lot on her mind, and she found herself wondering if that was really what she wanted. Therefore, the girl (now woman) decided to pay a visit to her grandparents, who still lived in Boston. Cooling down in a place more than familiar to her seemed ideal now.

Elena just didn't expect that her grandmother would tell Mary Lou, and that Mary would tell Nick, who would tell his brothers, generating a secret collective trip to Boston. The triplets were dying to see Elena, after all, it had been 2 years since they had seen her best friend, or, in Matt's case, crush.

It was a Saturday morning when Elena landed in Boston, quickly grabbing her small suitcase and hailing a taxi at the airport's main pedestrian entry and exit gate, giving as her destination address her grandparents' house, which coincidentally, was on the same street where she grew up.

Elena planned to stay in Boston only until the next day, Sunday, since Monday she had classes again and she was going back to work, besides she knew that if she stayed much longer away from home, from Jeremy, he would lose his mind.

It didn't take long for Elena to arrive at her destination. The girl got out of the car after paying the taxi driver and took her suitcase from the trunk, thanking him once again before she knocked on the front door, waiting.

It was a big surprise for her when her grandfather opened the door and behind him were her best friends, Nick was holding a sign that said "WELCOME BACK, ELENA! WE MISSED YOU ♡", while Chris was holding three packets of her favorite candy in his hands and Matt held a bouquet of flowers that almost hid his red face, Elena wondered if it was from embarrassment or the heat from the summer.

The girl dropped the suitcase, bringing her right hand to her mouth, covering half of her surprised expression. She felt her eyes fill with tears, God, how she missed the three boys.

Next to her were her grandparents, with big smiles on their faces and bright eyes, watching her with a mix of affection and pride.

"Oh my God, you guys are crazy! What are you doing in Boston? I thought you were in LA!" Elena exclaimed, her voice cracking mid-sentence with high emotions.

"We were, but Grandma told our mom that you were coming here today and I couldn't handle missing my best friend anymore." Nick said as he placed the poster on the couch. He turned quickly and ran to the girl, hugging her tightly. The action seemed to wake Matt and Chris, who quickly moved and formed a mini line behind the oldest.

"Damn, you look old" Chris joked when his brother got out of the hug, laughing loudly when Elena hit his forehead. "Here, to sweeten your life." He scoffed, handing the candy packets to her.

"I have to check if these aren't sour candies, coming from you I expect everything." Elena joked, taking the candies and placing them on top of her suitcase. She opened her arms and hugged Chris momentarily.

Chris pulled away as they separated and positioned himself next to Nick, the two exchanging glances before turning their gaze to Matt.

"They're pink tulips, I hope they're still your favorites" Matt stepped forward, showing the full bouquet before handing it to her.

"Oh Matt, they're beautiful! Thank you" Elena received the bouquet, smelling them quickly and mentally punishing herself for blushing.

Matt smiled widely and watched her for a few seconds, only breaking out of his trance when he heard Elena's grandfather make a fake cough. The boy shook his head and walked away, lowering his gaze to the ground.

Elena quickly placed the bouquet on the coffee table and finally greeted her grandparents, placing kisses on their age-marked cheeks.

"Let's take these things to your room and make plans for the weekend!" Nick spoke loudly, throwing the candies to Chris and taking the small suitcase in his hands, before starting to climb the stairs without waiting for anyone.

Elena laughed loudly as she heard Chris swear at Nick as he bent down to pick up the packages that fell at his feet. Matt shook his head, smiling as he saw the girl take the bouquet with extreme delicacy.

The three following the oldest up the stairs.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Hours later, the quartet found themselves in the triplets parents car, parked at the Mc Donald's they grew up going to, while eating their favorite burguers and catching up on conversations. They spent the afternoon driving around the places they went when young, which made Elena's heart warm, she missed that, that feeling of calm, without any burden, without obligations or responsibilities, just the interest of being happy.

During that early morning, Elena woke up to the sound of rocks hitting her window, which she quickly recognized. What surprised her was that when she got up and approached the window it wasn't Chris there, but Matt.

"What are you doing here?" Elena asked in a whisper after opening her window, squinting her eyes as she tried to better see Matt's silhouette in the pitch black night.

"Let me in." Matt whispered back, ignoring her question as he looked down to check if he wasn't about to fall off the edge of the roof.

Elena sighed and walked to the side, giving Matt space to enter through the window, closing it shortly after to stop the night wind of entering the room.

"What are you doing here at this time?" Elena asked again, sitting on the edge of her bed and watching him.

"As if I didn't pay you visits in the early hours of the morning before." He responded smiling, sitting on the bed and dragging himself until his back was against the headboard and his legs were stretched out on the mattress. He slapped his hand on the space beside him, looking at Elena.

The girl sighed but smiled, following his silent request.

"I missed you" Matt commented. "It's strange to live life without you with us"

"I miss you too" Elena replied, looking at him. "It's strange to only keep in touch on the phone and find out about some things through social media" She continued, receiving a nod from the brunette.

"You still have them" Matt realized as he noticed all the teddy bears he got for Elena piled up on top of the dresser next to the closet.

"Of course I have them, why would I throw them away? They're cute and remind me that you're actually good at something" She scoffed, receiving a light push from the boy.

"As if you weren't rooting like crazy for me while I was trying to hit the game targets" He mocked back, seeing Elena roll her eyes with a big smile on her face.

"Obviously, getting teddy bears is better than buying them, have you seen the prices of these little things?" Elena gave a low laugh when she saw Matt open his mouth exaggeratedly, soon after the two burst into laughter together.

"So, are you really going to get married?" Matt asked suddenly after they calmed down, looking directly at her.

"Yeah, I will" She replied, lowering her gaze to her hands, specifically to the silver ring on her left ring finger.

"You don't look very excited" He commented, making the girl sigh.

"I just... I don't know, I'm so young, you know? I'm only 20, getting married seems a bit drastic right now, but Jeremy thinks it will be good for our future, us having the same last name will help in the office" She replied, furrowing his eyebrows.

"What does he do for a living again?" The brunette asked.

"He currently works at his father's office and studies law," Elena said, noticing the grimace he made at her response. "What?"

"He doesn't seem like your type. In fact, he seems like quite a daddy's boy." Matt commented, regretting it seconds later after seeing Elena's eyebrows raise in surprise.

"And what do you know about my type, Matthew?"

"I'm sorry, ignore what I said" Matt intervened quickly, the last thing he wanted was to fight with Elena now, knowing that after that Sunday, he didn't know when he would see her again. Maybe at her wedding, the boy felt himself shudder at the thought.

Elena sighed.

"You know that my dream has always been to be successful with my career and have my own family. Us getting married would give me both... Having his last name, I will be able to start my International Relations profession within the office that soon will be his, which will make me grow faster on the career, and I'll have my own family." Elena spoke while gesturing.

"Sounds like there's a lot of self-interest involved" Matt commented.

"Matthew!" The girl exclaimed, making him raise his arms in a sign of redemption.

"Sorry, sorry." He sighed. "I remember, you know."

"What?" Elena looked at him confused.

"How you always wanted a family, when we were kids me, Nick and Chris were always messing around and you were playing mommy with your barbies. You wouldn't let go of that damn Baby Alive even if you were paid to, always taking her everywhere." Matt let out a laugh as he remembered, making Elena laugh along as she saw her own smaller figure running after the triplets with her doll in hands.

"You can't say anything, you always took care of my Baby Alive when I asked you to" The girl replied with a wide smile, watching Matt roll his eyes exaggeratedly while she laughed as quietly as she could.

The brunette turned to her to rebut, but stopped in his action, reinforcing in his mind every detail of the face of the girl who had his heart in her hands, details that he had memorized a long time ago and still found himself remembering and tracing in his mind on sleepless nights.

The two stared deeply at each other for what seemed like an eternity, before Elena looked away and fake coughed.

"Just think about your decision Elena." Matt asked softly before getting up from the queen sized bed.

"Where are you going?" Elena looked at him again, her eyes pleading, as if she was afraid he would leave her there, alone and without him.

"I'm going back home, if my mother wakes up and doesn't see me in bed in the morning, I'm sure she'll freak out, and the situation won't turn out very well for us." He spoke with a sigh, going to the window and opening it, looking back one last time, before moving outside, closing it again before disappearing from the girl's vision.

Elena stood still for a few minutes, processing the conversation and that last moment, feeling her heart sink at the thought of not seeing the boy again for a long time after Sunday. It felt like a goodbye.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

On the next day, Elena woke up significantly early as she felt the sun's rays coming through her window. As she opened her eyes, ready to complain about why it was so bright in the room, she remembered Matt leaving and how she forgot to get up and close the curtains.

The girl sighed, before getting up and getting ready for the day. She felt excited to be able to see her friends again, but her heart ached at the thought that that very night she would leave again.

After getting ready, Elena took her cell phone and saw a message left by Jeremy.

"I hope you're having a good time there. I can't wait to have you here again today, I can't stop looking at the wedding catalogues. Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla cake? xx, jeremy"

Elena sighed again, it's obvious she preferred vanilla, how did he not know that? The girl shook her head, deciding to answer him another time.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"What are we doing today?" Nick asked as they found themselves in front of the triplets' door, as they had done years before.

"I thought we'd go to the amusement park, the one that only opens in the summer, you know? Like old days." Matt suggested. Elena looked at him when she heard about the park, quickly looking away when she saw him already looking back at her. She needed to stop this.

"Let's go then!" Chris spoke loudly, running over to his parents' car again, fiddling with the passenger door handle impatiently, begging Matt to unlock it.

Elena laughed at the action, running to the car too and soon getting into the back seat, sitting behind Chris's group, having a view of the driver's seat.

A few minutes later the four arrived at the amusement park and started going on the basic rides, which the four liked, bumper cars, roller coasters and carousel.

"Can we go on the ferris wheel?" Elena asked, puting her hands in a sign of prayer and looking at the three of them with a pleading look.

"I'm not going, it's too boring. I want to go to the arcade area" Chris replied, ignoring the girl who was begging.

"I want to go to the arcade too!" Nick shouted, raising his hand like a child and approaching Chris, making Elena roll her eyes and cross her arms with a huff.

"I'll go with you." Matt said looking at Elena, who smiled big, taking his hand and dragging him through the park to the ferris wheel line, ignoring the taller man's protests.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"Wow, I don't remember the last time I entered a cabin like that" Matt commented, closing the small door behind him and sitting on the single bench next to Elena, who smiled as she nodded and looked at the outside view through the cabin's glass window.

Matt found himself watching her, taking note of her profile, feeling himself falling in love with her all over again.

It didn't take long for the wheel to start moving, the cabin swayed a little making Elena let out a surprised sound, holding onto Matt's arm to steady herself.

"Sorry, I don't remember it moving that much" She commented, smiling awkwardly as she took her hand off the boy's arm, watching him wave his hand like it was nothing.

The two focused their eyes outside the cabin, taking note of the people who looked like little ants as the cabin rose higher, the blue sky with few clouds, the light breeze that blew and the birds that passed by in the distance. Elena looked at the cabin ahead and saw a couple cuddling each other, smiling big as they also watched the view, and she found herself trying to remember if she had ever been through that with Jeremy, but her mind came out was blank.

Her chest tightened as she realized that she had never even been to an amusement park with Jeremy, or a park, or a romantic walk. With Jeremy it was always all about work and having the perfect status.

Her gaze changed from the couple to Matt, noticing that he was also looking at the couple, but quickly his blue eyes focused on her as well.

"I love being able to look at you up close like this," Matt whispered, as if he was afraid of speaking too loudly and end what they were having.

Elena smiled, blushing, but forcing herself not to look away from him, she didn't want to miss that moment for anything. Her eyes took in all the little details of Matt's face, his sparkling blue eyes with dilated pupils, his nose perfectly shaped and the right size for his face, his cheekbones slightly reddened by the heat, his big, messy hair, his beard starting to appear again due to the time without shaving it... She felt like she could stay there forever.

Matt moved slightly closer, stopping with his mouth centimeters from hers, seeming to wait to see if she would pull away, which she didn't. Elena held herself in place, yearning to feel him.

Matt, realizing that there was no movement on her part, moved closer until their lips touched, and Elena felt that everything she read in romance books about the sensations of electricity through her body and the fireworks around her when kissing her right person was true.

Matt let out a sigh through his nose at the sensation, feeling instant relief and as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He never wanted to leave there again.

It was just a touch of lips, but it was enough for them at that moment. It was exactly what they needed.

Elena pulled away first, still with her eyes closed, trying to prolong the feeling and sensations in her body and mind. When she opened her eyes, she noticed Matt already looking at her, smiling broadly, and she returned the smile.

"I love you." Matt blurted out, making Elena's eyes widen. "Elena, I'm sorry for not having said or done anything before, but I've loved you for as long as I can remember, since the first flower I plucked from my mother's garden and gave to you, since the first time you gave me your Baby Alive for me to take care of as if it were the most precious thing in the world, since the first day you asked me to kiss your scraped knee to heal it. I've loved you for so long and I was an idiot for not saying it. And it's okay if you don't want me, you're engaged, you have a life in New York and... Asking you to leave all of this is impossible, but I needed to tell you."

Before Elena could process it, the bubble around the two seemed to burst as the ferris wheel stopped and their turn was over, the little cabin door opening again.

Matt cleared his throat, getting up and helping Elena out. When they both touched their feet on the floor, Elena felt her cell phone vibrate, picking it up only to see that Jeremy was sending her a new message about the wedding, and at that moment she fell to reality, she had cheated on her fiancé with her best friend. A bitter taste entered her mouth, her body froze and a horrible feeling took over her heart. God, what did she do?

Elena quickly pulled away from Matt, feeling her hands shake. She put her cell phone in her bag and turned to the taller man, seeing him looking at her with a worried look.

"Matt I cheated on him... I-I cheated on my fiancé with you." She stuttered. Matt looked at her with a weight on his eyes, feeling horrible for having contributed to that, blaming himself for kissing her, wanting to go back in time and not even agreeing to go on the ferris wheel with the girl.

He loved her, but she didn't love him back, not like he wanted her to.

"Elena look, it's going to be okay, you can talk to him, I swear I won't approach you again, I'm sorry-"

"I-I need to go."

"What?" Matt stopped walking completely.

"I need to go Matt." She looked into his eyes, feeling guilty as she saw immense pain in the blue pools. "Don't go after me, please. I'm sorry."

Elena turned and ran away, wiping the tears that fell from her eyes without stopping and feeling an emptiness and weight in her chest, as if part of her had stayed with Matt.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The girl got out of the taxi in front of her grandparents house and walked to the door, taking the spare key that her grandfather had given her, trying to unlock the lock with her blurry vision.

"Elena?" The girl heard her grandmother call from the kitchen after closing the door behind her.

"Hi grandma." Elena responded, her voice cracking from the held back cry.

Her grandmother quickly appeared at the kitchen door after noticing the difference in her granddaughter's voice, approaching with quick steps when she saw the youngest's red eyes and wet cheeks.

"Oh Elena, what happened?" The older woman asked worriedly, taking Elena's shoulders and leading her to the sofa, sitting her on the soft surface and sitting next to her.

"Why does love hurt so much, grandma?" Elena asked, letting out a sob. Her grandmother sighed, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Oh Elena, love doesn't hurt dear. It took me many years to learn that, if love is right for you and your heart, and it's reciprocal, it doesn't hurt, it wasn't made to hurt. It was with your grandfather that I learned that love is free, it is generous, it is safe and it empowers you in a way that makes you feel stronger and like you can conquer the world." The oldest explained with a smile. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"I kissed Matt." Elena said, looking down at her hands, quickly looking away from the ring. "We went to the amusement park we went to as kids, I wanted to go on the ferris wheel and he accompanied me, we had a moment and we kissed."

"He always looked at you differently... And you at him, so much so that I swore you two would end up together. I remember all the times you came running here with a new flower in your hands and said it was from Matt, as If I didn't already know that." Elena smiled upon hearing her grandmother's words.

"But grandma, I'm engaged." She whispered regretfully.

"Do you love Jeremy?" The eldest asked, cupping her granddaughter's cheek and lifting her face so she could look her in the eyes.

"I-I... I don't know." Elena desperately tried to feel for Jeremy what she felt for Matt. "I don't feel about him what I feel when I think about Matt, or when I'm with him. Jeremy is an incredible man, with a planned and perfect life... I feel so pressured sometimes, like I have to be perfect all the time to fit in with him and his plans. It's not light, grandma."

Elena cried harder when she realized how heavy her days were with Jeremy, how she always had to have the most impeccable and perfect clothes, with the best posture, the most flawless makeup, the best-groomed hair and the best modes. How she felt about being looked at and evaluated by everyone all the time, especially at Jeremy's parenting conferences or in her father's office.

"Elena, pay close attention to me, what does your heart say if you spend more time worrying about perfection than kissing him? If you spend more time in the day thinking about a thousand things than living love lightly? Do you feel like to run away when with him? Honey, I'm sorry, but that's not love. Not the right one for you, at least."

Elena looked at her grandmother, surprised by her wisdom and how it all made sense.

Jeremy was a perfect man, but not for her. Matt was her perfect match.

God, what would she do now? She ran out of the park and left Matt all by himself after he declared his love for her. And she still had Jeremy...

"I already know what I gave to do."

[timdrakesmother]

Naomasa Tsukauchi’s Quirk and How Horikoshi Could Fuck Us Over With It: A Shower Thought

So I was thinking about how fanon often times makes little details about characters and everyone just rolls with it, to the point that if you told someone it’s not canon they’d be in genuine shock.

Example: Tsukauchi’s “quirk”

Now, anyone that’s read any MHA fanfiction with our favorite detective in it knows that his quirk is lie detector

Except it isn’t

Tsukauchi’s quirk has never been revealed in canon, someone just made it up one day and everyone took it as canon.

(I find this so funny because everyone in the MHA fandom has subconsciously agreed on the specifics of his quirk, from its name to how it detects things to what it detects.)

Now, onto my shower thought:

Since Tsukauchi’s quirk has never been confirmed, in reality it could be a myriad of things.

In other words, Horikoshi has a myriad of ways to fuck us over should he confirm Tsukauchi’s quirk

I think the best way that he could do this is to make Tsukauchi quirkless.

Not only would it portray how the quirkless actually exist in society and how they’re treated as adults in present time, but it would also make multiple things in canon better.

The main example that I thought of with this is All Might’s first meeting with Izuku, especially considering how many people hate on AM for telling Izuku he couldn’t be a hero (which in my opinion was fair, but go off ig).

The amount of fics I’ve read where Izuku offs himself or becomes a vigilante because of All Might telling him he should be a police officer instead—

Anyway, that’s a rant for another day.

If Tsukauchi was quirkless, this would change everything about how All Mights words to Izuku should be perceived.

Imagine AM meeting a bright eyed quirkless kid with a fierce need to help people and immediately thinks of one certain detecive friend, so when asked if the kid could be like him, wanting to spare the kid from heartbreak and the stresses of being a hero, tries to set the boy on the same path of said friend, who to All Might is a hero in his own right.

Izuku: Can I be a hero like you, even if I don’t have a quirk?

All Might: *in pain because of hero work* *doesn’t want kid to deal with this shit* uh no not really

All Might: *thinks of his best friend who’s super cool and just like the kid* but you could be a hero in other ways, like a police officer!

All Might: *begrudgingly because his friend is awesome and people should know that* they don’t get nearly as much credit or popularity as they should, but they still do good, honest work!

All Might: *happy that he’s sent a find young man his friend’s way*

Izuku: *dreams crushed* *eyeing the edge of the building*

[livlaughloveluke]

Hiiii can I request Ethan x Reader of a best friends brother trope where Quinn and reader are bestfriends but reader has a thing for her brother and they go on vacation and reader goes with them and like they stay in a cabin and reader and Ethan confess there and like they have a small make out sesh there and Quinn walks in and says something like “I knew it�� Tyy 💗💗

𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬- 𝐞.𝐥

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: a vacation in the mountains leads to a new relationship (non!ghostface ethan, but still siblings with quinn and richie)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: make out sesh!

𝐚/𝐧: first post in a LONG time. sorry babes!! life has been a little chaotic recently, but hopefully i can start posting at least once a week now. requests are being filled, sorry its taken me so long. feel free to request more, and hope you enjoy the story!💗

you shoved the tightly packed shirt into your already stuffed suitcase before attempting to close it. you used all of your force to keep it together while zipping it up, and once it was finally complete you sighed from relief. you had spent the last three hours packing for this ski trip you were going on with your close friend, and lets just say you were excited for the wrong reasons.

your childhood best friend, quinn, would be attending with her younger brother ethan. her parents finally trusted their kids to use their second house up in the mountains, by themselves. richie was not interested, and since you were like another child to them, you were immediately invited. quinn was a few years older than you, so her brother was around your age. there one issue however. 

you had been madly in love with ethan since the both of you were twelve years old. when he hair was still straight, and his teeth still crooked. his recent “glow up” only added to your liking of the boy.

him and his older sister barged into your room after you had finished packing, and you quickly brought them into a hug. you wrapped your arms around quinn’s waist for a short and sweet embrace, then letting go for the other sibling. you stood on your tallest tiptoes as you reached your arms to rest around his neck, holding him for an appropriate time before dropping your hands and stepping back.

you greeted them with warm welcomes, and after a little chatting, you loaded your bags into their car and set off for the long journey.

the extensive ride was filled with laughter and music, along with quiet snores as the sun set. quinn spent the first few hours driving, then ethan, and then what was supposed to be you. however, when ethan saw your body curled up in the back seat snoozing away, he battled his exhaustion and kept driving.

“you sure you don’t want y/n to take a turn? i’m sure she wouldn’t mind waking up for you.” his sister asked, and he ignored her suggestive tone. 

“yeah, seriously i don’t mind.” he replied, eyes focused on the road, blushing at the lingering smell of your signature perfume. quinn gives him a weird look, before shrugging it off. she knew.

after waking up, you swiftly switched places with ethan so he could rest. both of the kirsch siblings were fast asleep when you pulled into the driveway a few hours later. the brunette boy slowly woke up as the car came to a halt, curls messy and some attached by sweat to his forehead. 

you gave him a smile, his chapped lips returning the action with a genuine grin. you sighed and braced yourself to wake up the feisty sister, scared of what she might do when you shook her awake. it turns out she would snap at you like a freshly lit firecracker, for she was upset you ruined her… spicy dream. 

you slammed the trunk shut after grabbing the final suitcase, carrying the large bags to the porch. you looked back at quinn, who threw you the keys to the house, and you easily unlocked the door. 

“i call master bedroom!” quinn exclaimed, before dropping her luggage and running down the hallway. there was two bedrooms, one a lot larger and containing a king sized bed, and the other one had two twin beds, both tightly packed into the cramped space. 

“damn it!” you groan out. you and ethan carry your stuff into the other room, and you plop face down onto the comfortable bed. even with your power nap on the drive, you still felt exhausted. 

“you okay?” you hear from ethan, his voice sounding muffled due to the position you were in. you lifted and turned your head to him, letting out an exasperated sigh. you the see the gorgeous behind him, which consisted of huge mountains covered in powdery white snow. not to mention, on the porch was a large blue hot tub.

“holy shit! you have a hot tub?!” you perk up, excited due to your new found discovery.

“you didn’t know? i though you said you brought a swimsuit..” he asked, tilting his head slightly, a smile on his confused face.

“I didn’t know i would actually get to use it! i just like to be prepared.” you say, lifting up your   packed suitcase and placing it on your bed so you can unpack.

“i’ll heat it up so we can use it after dinner.”

he replies, going to grab his luggage do he could also unpack.

the sun began to set, the sky stained with gorgeous pinks and yellows behind the tall mountains. quinn decided to doordash a pizza from the closest restaurant, since all the house had was snacks that had been brought and acquired on the road trip.  

you ate the delicious food, talking about anything and everything with the two siblings. laughs echoed throughout the walls of the cabin as you chatted with thrm. 

“me and y/n were going to hop in the hot tub after this, wanna join?” ethan asks his sister, and she looks at him with a mischievous grin on her face. 

“i’m okay, you guys can go ahead.” she responds, trying her hardest to suffocate her giggles. you and ethan give each other a weird look, questioning what she was planning. you shrugged it off before going to change.

the swimsuit you wore complimented you perfectly, hugging all of the right places. not to mention, the blue hues enhanced your already beautiful features. you stepped out of the bathroom, eyes finding ethan who was wearing his trunks, scrolling through instagram on his bed. the sound of the door opening caused him to glance your way, and he grew a a shade of red upon seeing you.

“you look.. good.” he stutters out, trying to hide his nervousness. you thank him before opening the sliding glass door that led to the back patio. he followed behind like a lost puppy. 

the warmth of the water was a great contrast to the cold, crisp air. you talked to him for what felt like hours, opening your heart up to him. 

you subconsciously grew closer to him, now realizing that you were less than a foot away from him. 

“so.. how are things with your boyfriend? mike, right?” he asked, trying to distract himself from the close proximity you shared. 

“oh, we broke up a couple months ago. i think my heart belongs to someone else.” 

ethan quickly apologized for bringing him up, although he didn’t ignore your last sentence.

“what about you? any special someone in your life?” you say.

“nope, no one new. like you, i think my heart is distracted by someone else.” he responds, looking into your eyes. you gravitate even closer to him, eyes still locked with his.

“i’m not reading this wrong, am i?” you ask, praying he really did want to do this. 

“nope.” he replies, before placing his lips on yours. you passionately kiss back, his warm skin glazing across yours. he then pulls apart, looking at you to make sure everything is okay.

you smile at him before grabbing the back of his head, gently pulling him in. your lips fit together perfectly, and he carefully places his hands on your thighs. you gently run your fingers through his hair while you continue to kiss him. the heat from the water mixing with the fresh mountain air created a steamy atmosphere, adding to the fervid sensation. 

unfortunately, your make out session was quickly interrupted by a careless sister. the door slid open, quinn obliviously walking out. 

“y/n, i need your opinion on this dress-“ she said, now looking up from her phone to see two shocked teenagers. quinn freaked out at the sight of her brothers spit coating your lips.

“ew! i mean.. yay? i’m just gonna go back inside..” she states, backing up into the warmth of the cabin. she closes the door, and you and ethan glance at each other, unsure of what to do. a shout coming from the house sent you and the boy into a fit of laughter.

“i knew it!” 

taglist- @nowitsmissing, @nikoschrissis, @lvndryyhoe, @ieattoesforbreakfqst, @sevenheavxns, @wonderstruck4llthew4yhome, @imkillmyselfxoxo, @lumaxstans-blog, @ilovejackchampionnn, @hyeyulove, @jackchampiongf13, @sebastiansallowsgf, @michaelangdonsslut, @1212valee, @teenagedramaqueenlisa, @fherlima, @kate4katie, @itsb3a2, @maybankfr, @azumakina, @jamiecoree, @creneal

some names wouldn’t let me tag :(

[blessyatoz]

longfic (+55k words and on posting) tags: pro-hero izuku midoriya, manager au, falling in love, humor read all on AO3 excerpt from chapter six: how to (try to) do a photoshoot and attend to a hero-con [excerpt w fluff, bit angst, humor; no smut]

MARIN'S POV

The event was nearing its end when we left the special screening of an All Might documentary.

Midoriya-kun, obviously, couldn’t stop talking when there—his eyes practically glowing with excitement and admiration as everything coming out of his mouth was about his mentor. At one point during the session, I asked how they met in the first place. Midoriya-kun spoke so fast, but what I got was that it had something to do with him jumping in front of a villain to save his friend Kacchan (who’s Dynamight?!), All Might taking him under his wing as a disciple, and his late-blooming quirk awakening.

Damn, Midoriya-kun had a crazy teenagehood, no doubt about that.

Someone told us to shut up—so we focused on the documentary and picked up the conversation again after the session ended.

He told me how hard it was—and I didn’t doubt it for a second. Broken bones. Always having to give his best—because everyone was already ahead of him, given how late his quirk had developed. Always having to do more because if he didn’t, it wouldn’t be enough to become the hero he wanted to be. A hero who saved everyone, no matter what, always with a smile; 

“Kitagawa-san, I want to be a hero strong enough that no one would have to worry about me.” as he said at that moment too (That stuck with me. Stuck—Why?). A hero who honored his mentor’s legacy.

As he spoke, I couldn’t help but think about the enormous sense of responsibility he had with all of it: becoming the hero he always dreamed of, fighting to protect people…

Slowly, the outlines for my article started to take shape in my mind. One that wouldn’t just honor All Might’s legacy but would do justice to Deku’s. His own. As Deku.

That’s what I wanted to do—what I wanted people to know. I wanted people to experience how genuine, hardworking, sincere, and real Pro-Hero Deku was.

“Oh! And All Might was also my teacher, back at UA. He was an amazing mentor! He really was! He really took care of me—even when I didn’t deserve it. I learned a lot from him—and from Aizawa-sensei, too.” Midoriya-kun chuckled softly. He seemed to recall those days fondly. “I… I miss him. All Might. It’s been a while since we last saw each other. But we still text all the time!” He stared off into the distance, like he was reflecting for a moment before turning back to me and saying: “I… I hope I can one day be at least 1% of the hero he used to be… I—I already have my own hero path! And I’m following it, o-of course! I’m really happy with that.” He looked ahead, almost nostalgically watching a bunch of kids running around in All Might costumes, holding special trading cards in their hands. I followed his gaze. “But… to inspire people the way he did, inspire them to be the best they can be, overcoming whatever life throws at them… To always go beyond, no matter what…”

Purpose. Determination. That’s what I felt while looking at him now.

“That’s the kind of hero I’m working to be, too.”

The smile of that little girl from early came to my mind—and the gratitude shining on everyone’s faces when they saw him, whether he was stopping a villain or helping out with the simplest task possible. Even the regretful tears of today’s wrongdoers, who seemed like they’d rather die than commit another crime after hearing Deku-kun's words.

The look of admiration from that child who so kindly asked him to sign their school notebook.

“You’re already doing that. A great job. More than that, even.” I spoke softly, kindly—but not as kind as he was. That was impossible for me. I’d known that for a long time. So many smiles, so many admiring looks of ‘I want to be like you’ came to mind, all directed at him. At them. “You know that, right?”

I waited for him to blush, like he usually would. Then I’d laugh and say, ah, Deku-kun, for God’s sake, you need to get used to compliments, man!

But the blush never came.

Deku’s expression seemed to drop—and he became a little distant.

Not shy, not embarrassed—like usual. Just… distant.

“Not enough, though, Kitagawa-san.”

I frowned.

But before I could say anything, one of the kids dressed up and running wildly around Hero-Con bumped into us.

“Oh, sorry, oni-san!” Then he grabbed the hand of the kid next to him, dragging him towards a group of people gathering nearby. “Come on, Tsuki! Let’s go get a Hawks hero tattoo, hurry before they’re gone!”

“I don’t want one of that stupid parrot!” The other one looked surprisingly disgusted. “I want one of All Might! And Red Riot, 'cause he’s so manly!”

“Whatever, dude! Let’s go!”

Midoriya-kun and I watched them run off like two little rockets.

“Oh… Hero tattoo stickers… I always wanted to get one of those when I was a kid…” I heard him say softly, like he was talking to himself. A bit nostalgic, even. He blinked, realizing I was still there. “Kacchan never wanted to get one with me, though, when we were kids. Said it was stupid and useless—since they come off with water. Something about it being for dumb kids—which was funny, thinking about it now. We were kids.” He laughed.

I glanced over at the booth: kids, adults, and teens crowded around it. Some were cheering, others celebrating when they saw the tiny less-than-8cm disposable tattoo fixed on their skin. They were grinning from ear to ear. They looked happy.

I grabbed his hand energetically—I could feel the roughness of his scars, the lines they made against my fingers, the history and effort they carried.

Then I smiled.

“So, what are we waiting for?!” Practically shouting with excitement, practically shouting please, smile like that again Deku-kun, I said: “Let’s go!”

“W-w-what?!”

I was already dragging us over.

“W-wait, Kitagawa-san! W-WAIT!”

Fifteen minutes later, I had a small tattoo of Fat Gum's face hidden on the side of my wrist. Midoriya-kun had one of All Might—comically flexing his muscles.

He stared at the tattoo, a bit goofy, a bit embarrassed, and a bit incredulous.

But he looked happy.

“I can’t believe we did this…!”

“Well, believe it! BELIEVE IT!” I threw my arms up in the air and flexed my muscles. I puffed out my chest—and then struck the same pose All Might was making on his tattoo. Making that face. “YOU DID IT, MIDORIYA-SHONEN! IT WAS YOUR BRAVERY, HOHO.” Then I laughed, all proud, just like All Might would. “It’s never too late to fulfill your childhood wishes, shonen.” I winked.

Midoriya-kun burst into laughter. The kind of loud, genuine laugh that’s just contagious, you know? The kind that makes you want to laugh just from being there, listening to it. His hands held his stomach, tears of laughter streaming from his eyes.

I dropped the All Might pose, grinning widely at him.

Not enough, though, Kitagawa-san.

What makes you think that? That’s what I wanted to ask him as I watched him laugh and laugh, smiling and laughing in that sincere, genuine way he always did. The way he showed it to everyone. What makes you think that, Midoriya-kun?

That’s when I realized: maybe… maybe Midoriya-kun carried more on his shoulders than he let on, more than I had imagined—must be a hero thing… like him. Like them.

Because they carried the same too. They carried the same, and I was too young to understand that back then.

But I’m not a kid anymore.

I can fight to keep others safe now, in my own way. Smiling.

And I don’t need to be a Pro-Hero to do that.

“How long did you practice that, Kitagawa-san?!”

“A month, I think?” I was about to say it was for an All Might cosplay shoot I did a few years ago, but I stayed quiet.

Midoriya-kun’s eyes practically bulged out of his head like they were gonna fall to the floor.

“Whaaaaat?! It took me years!” He sounded half-surprised, half-impressed, and half-indignant. “That’s not fair!”

“I’m a natural, pretty~” I flipped my hair, all smug. “Get over it.”

Midoriya-kun gave me the biggest side-eye in the universe.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that!” He shook his head and started walking toward the exit. I thought I saw a flash of a shy smile on his lips—and that familiar blush again. Huh? “Midoriya-kun? Midoriya-kuuuuun!”

He suddenly stopped in the middle of the path, his head lowered slightly.

“Thank you, Kitagawa-san.” His voice was soft, embarrassed—but sweet, gentle. And when he looked me in the eye, that’s exactly what I saw, too.

I broke into a smile.

“It was nothing, Midoriya-kun! Really!” I winked cheerfully at him, bouncing up to stand in front of him. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

He paused for a second.

And then there it was: that smile again.

“Yeah, it is!” And that laugh, too. “You’re right. It really is.”

“But I’m also your manager, so strike a pose so I can snap a picture of you with that super cool and not-at-all childish tattoo right in the center, please.”

“O-okay.”

“And let’s take a selfie too! Showing off our hero tattoos together! They won’t last long anyway~ We gotta capture the moment!”

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More Nimona headcanons cause I'm bored

Bal and Ambrosius are absolutely those people who take Valentines Day seriously 

But not in the way you would think

They’re not that couple that acts like Valentine's Day is specific to couples

No they acknowledge that its about all kind of love platonic, familial, self love the whole shebang

So they go out of their way to spend time with their friends and loved ones and take time to take care of themselves 

Some years they even host little get together with their loved ones

Like don't get me wrong they absolutely spoil each other rotten and have stupidly sappy romantic dinners 

But that isn’t the main focus of the day

They kind of expected Nimona to hate Valentine's Day 

I mean it seems like the perfect time for her to rant about how “Valentine's Day is a made up Holiday by greeting card companies”

But they fucking love Valentine's Day 

It’s the one day out of the year that their favorite colors are spread across the city and chocolate is literally everywhere 

They even participate in the boy's little get-togethers and help them set up

So in my personal opinion there is no way that a singular person in the trio had a normal childhood 

In the clip of Bal jumping the fence he looked around 7-9 which is when I assume he started his training and we can assume he was homeless before that

Ambrosius has been training to be a knight since he was a kid

And the only moments we got to see Nimona being a kid were with Gloreth which is really short in the grand scheme of her existence 

So I like to think that they take at least one day out of the month to do something childish

Whether that be going to an amusement park, hanging out in an arcade, going to a movie theater and then getting ice cream afterward

You know things that none of them got to do when they were “kids”

And slowly but surely they start to heal their inner child

They really look forward to those days and it becomes the highlight of their month

I feel like the trio all have different ideas of money

Even though he didn’t have a great childhood money was never something he dreamed of worrying about

And not in like a snobby way either (it’s lowkey cute to watch this grown man try and wrap his head around taxes)

There have been multiple times when Bal has expressed that he wants something and Ambrosius buys it without thinking 

Bal will just look at him and go “Love this was 6,000 dollars” and Ambrosius just tilts his head like a golden retriever and goes “Yeah is that okay”

All the while Bal is trying not to puke because he hasn’t held more than 400 dollars in his hand 

Nimona has no concept of money because whenever he wanted something he’d steal it 

He’s been around longer than money so he finds the concept incredibly amusing 

She’s gotten in multiple arguments with finance bros because she’s said with a straight face “Why can’t we just print more?” 

And she just laughed as their faces got progressively redder because she genuinely doesn’t get it 

Bal is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum 

He’s always been cautious of his spending 

And while this isn’t inherently a bad thing it’s stopped him from doing things he really wants 

Slowly but surely Nimona and Ambrosius have gotten him to break those habits 

Mostly by spending Ambrosius' families money

[allinthemagicshop]

Not How I Wanted to Meet Your Parents

Bangchan X Fem!Reader

wc: ~3000

Angst, fluff at the end

Again, this makes me cringe a little bit looking back at it but also I think I see some potential to grow from this so here's yet another from my vault

No warnings that I can think of, besides pet names maybe? Insecurity, crying also present. Some cursing.

I do not own the rights to Stray Kids or anything related to them, this is a work of pure fiction and just for fun

Channie💕: hey babygirl, I’m so sorry. I have to stay late at the studio again. I’ll just go back to the dorm instead of waking you up so don’t wait up. I’m sorry.

I crumpled into myself. Texts like these have been coming daily for the last three weeks straight. Every single date night was canceled, always for the same reason. I can’t bring myself to think of it as an excuse. That would be he is trying to find ways to avoid me. Unless he finally realized that I’m just holding him back from creating more, creating better. Maybe I am just a pawn to find inspiration in, like a learning experience more than a loving one. I lay my phone down on the nightstand and glance over at the sweatshirt Chan left the last time he stayed the night. It’s been nearly two months since then, his scent long gone. Instead of replying, knowing I wouldn’t get a response, I leaned over and shut my lamp off. Maybe in my dreams he would love me again. 

●●●

The morning light shines through the small crack in my curtains. I sit up, rubbing my eyes as I lean over to grab my phone. No new messages. My heart sinks. This is the part I was dreading the most. Never had Chan canceled a date night and not immediately tried to reschedule. So this is it then. Taking a shaky breath, I shut down my phone. It’s no better than a paperweight right now when all I’ll be doing is waiting for him to reach out first. It’s childish of me, I know I could reach out first, but that brings more brewing of hope that it isn’t over if he responds. Or worse yet, if he does respond and confirms that it’s over. 

Letting my despair guide me, I shuffle towards the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I peel myself out of the clothes I wore to sleep in and step under the cold water. I don’t want warmth, that’s what he was. I just want to hide in the rain and gloom as these thoughts take over my body. It’s not like I can pack up and move out, we don’t share an apartment. Changing the code to my apartment is a possibility, but then I have to let all my friends know the new code and explain why it had to be changed. The only other option I can come up with is going back home for a few days. I moved to Seoul for school, but my family was back in the States. It’d give me the distance I need, and maybe some home cooked meals would heal the hole in my heart. I know Dad would pay for it, he’s been asking me to come home for a couple months now.

Taking a deep breath, I shut the water off and wrap a towel around me as I step out. Sighing, I walk back towards my bed and sit down at the edge. Bracing myself as I start my phone back up, I immediately call Dad as soon as it allows me to. “Hey! I know I’ve been delaying coming back home but I really miss you guys. I have the next two weeks off and was wondering if that would work for you and Mom?”

  “Darling, anything works for our little girl to be back in our arms. Give me a second to look at flights. How long would you need to pack? We still have plenty of your clothes here, you know.” Laughing a little as I struggle to keep my composure, I glance around the room. “I can be ready to go as early as tonight then.”

“Really? There’s a flight that leaves at 5pm, your time. You’d have a couple hours to pack. Is that enough time?” His giddiness is almost palpable through the crackling speaker. A genuine snort forces its way out. “Sure, Dad. Thank you, I love you and I’ll see you soon then.” I stand up as he replies, “I love you so much, honey. Your mom is going to be so happy to have her baby back home for a while.” I hang up a little after a little more farewells are exchanged, insisting that I need to start packing. I make the mistake of glancing down at the screen before I get changed.

Channie💕: good morning, sweets. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can attempt to reschedule. It’s so hectic here with the comeback so soon and the album not being near ready enough. We’ll talk soon

Dread coils my gut, nearly knocking me over. That’s two messages without the words I need most. With shaking fingers I finally respond back, Oh okay. I love you. I throw my phone on the bed and walk away towards the closet, changing quickly. I refuse to look at my phone again until I have a suitcase packed. 

●●●

Almost two hours later, I finally find the courage to pick my phone back up. Checking the time, I notice two notifications: one text and one email. Unlocking the screen, my heart shatters. Both are from Dad. The email is the flight information, informing me that I have around an hour to get to the airport.

Father Dearest: y/n, I forwarded the email with all ur flight info. Oh, honey, I can’t explain how excited I am to have u home with us. If u haven’t finished packing yet, good luck. Love u!

Sighing as tears finally fall down my cheeks, I order an Uber to take me to the airport. I know I should text Chan, but I can’t bring myself to allow even the possibility of going unanswered again. I’ll let him know before the plane takes off, using the cushion of the flight to allow me the escape I’ll need.

An agonizing 20 minutes pass before I’m climbing into the Uber. I spare a glance  up at my apartment as we pull away. A part of me hopes he’ll show up to find me gone before I can even text him. It’s selfish and petty, but I just want Chan to feel a part of the agony I’ve been feeling. A simple conversation might be able to solve all of this, but we haven’t been able to have a solid 5 minute conversation in the past month, let alone one long enough to require what needs to be said. He couldn’t even get time off for a quick phone call on our one-year anniversary last week. Tears are slipping down my face before I know it. I quickly rub my sleeves over my face, not wanting the driver to ask questions. 

We finally pull up to the airport and I climb out, thanking him for the ride. I barely feel present in my body as I walk through the motions of the airport. Next thing I know, I’m sitting in my seat staring out the window. The announcement comes that phones need to be turned off soon. Taking a deep breath, I prepare the text for Chan.

Hi, Channie. I want to start off by saying I’m not mad, I completely understand. You’re an idol and I knew this was going to be difficult when I agreed to be your girlfriend. I guess I misjudged exactly how difficult it would actually be. I want to thank you for the last year. You were such a blessing in my life, crashing into me and claiming your spot in my heart. I don’t know if you feel the same, I can’t talk to you anymore to confirm or deny my suspicions. The distance between us recently has said more than we’ve been able to. I’ve decided to make it more physical for a little while. I’m headed back home for a couple weeks. I know the timezone difference is going to be hard to communicate, but we’ve gotten so used to it that it shouldn’t feel any different. If this is goodbye, all I ask is that you just remove your stuff from my apartment before I get back. I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger. I do love you, Chan. I just miss you too much to keep this up.

I hit send just as we begin our take-off. Shutting my phone and my feelings off, I lay my head back and drift to sleep, keen on waking up only when I can step off the flight into my parents’ arms. 

●●●

I didn’t last the whole flight, but the last few hours were filled with reading the book I had packed just in case sleep evaded me. It was enough to not think about Chan, but never enough to dull the ache in my chest. We finally landed and shuffled off the plane, all heading towards baggage claim. Refusing to turn my phone back on, I felt like a robot on autopilot as I followed the crowd. I grabbed my suitcase and squared my shoulders as I prepared to face my family. They knew about Chan and I’s relationship, but I don’t want this trip to be about my broken heart. I walk out the doors and it takes me only a minute of scanning before I hear my name being shouted seconds before Dad barrels into me, lifting me off my feet in a hug. Mom wraps her arms around me as he sets me down, tears falling down all our faces.

“Oh my baby! You’re finally home! I’ve missed you so much.” Mom sobs into my shoulder, holding me tighter than should be humanly possible. I hug her back before tapping her shoulder, in need of oxygen. She pulls back with a relieved smile. “I have your favorite dinners planned for the whole time you're here. How’s Chan?” 

My own smile falters for a split second before I straighten myself out. “Oh, you know, he’s just busy with his comeback. I had plenty of time to myself to make an impromptu trip,” partially the truth, just not the whole story. I can work with that easier than an outright lie. I smile at both my parents as they nod in understanding, Dad grabbing my suitcase to put in the car while Mom pulls my hand to get us going. The ride home is full of small talk about how work is going, how school was this last semester, how they are enjoying Dad’s new bonus from work. I fall into a comfortable silence as they keep the conversation flowing between them. 

●●●

After dinner I finally find the courage to turn my phone back on, it’s been nearly six hours since I landed. It’s early morning back in Seoul, close enough to a full day since I sent the text to Chan. As my phone turns on, I’m bombarded with notifications. Missed calls and texts, nearly all from Chan.

Channie💕: Baby what?

Channie💕: You didn’t actually leave did you?

*two miss calls from Channie💕*

Channie💕: Y/N please answer me. I can’t stand this, don’t leave me. I love you so much

Channie💕: I know I haven’t seen you in a bit or been able to talk to you but I don’t want to lose you

Channie💕: Baby please be at home, please let this be some cruel prank

Channie💕: You’re really not at home. Oh my god, baby please come back to me. I can’t lose you please don’t do this I love you

*four missed calls from Channie💕*

Channie💕: I get it. Baby, I understand it’s hard. I should’ve tried harder for you. You mean so much to me. I fell into my typical work pattern and left you out, I’m so so fucking sorry. You’re a priority too and I neglected that. I need you

Channie💕: you went back home… for fuck’s sake I screwed up. I just saw the date. Oh my god y/n im the worst. I didnt even take off for our anniversary. You were waiting for me to even acknowledge it and i couldnt even do that. I fucked up so bad

Channie💕: Babygirl… i feel like i cant even breathe right now, my heart’s been ripped out and flew across the world with you

*eight missed calls from Channie💕*

Channie💕: okay okay, I know this is getting excessive and I get that you’re on the plane but you should’ve landed by now. Just let me know that you’re alive. 

Channie💕: My sweet girl, I will fix this. Fix us. I can’t imagine going through life without you in it. 

Channie💕: I hope what I’m about to do doesn’t further break us, I love you so much, to the moon and stars beyond

The last text sent my heart into a stuttering stop. What did he mean by that first part? A wave of relief followed by anxiety floods my system. The last text was sent almost four hours ago. Tears welled in my eyes as I listened to the multiple voicemails he left. All practically the same as his texts, only I could hear the voice breaks and sobs between words. My heart cracked open and pain seeped through me. 

Chris what are you doing? I understand that you’re busy, you don’t need to apologize, I’m the one who couldn’t handle it. We can talk when I get back, just focus on the album. Maybe with a longer time to plan we can sit and have a proper conversation. I still love you.

I chewed on my lower lip nervously as I waited for his response. After staring at the screen for nearly 30 minutes with no reply, I sighed as I assumed he just had to go back to work, blocking out the relationship that was sinking underwater. I quietly changed and crawled into bed. One last glance at my phone showed no new notifications. Tears flooded my face as I turned over in my childhood bed, resigned to sleep until the pain subsided.

●●●

I woke up to my mom shaking my shoulder. Blinking, I turned over to her, my face swollen from crying until I passed out. “Oh honey, I’m sorry to wake you up but there’s someone here to see you,” Mom bit down on her lips, like she was trying not to smile. I sat up and grabbed my phone, realizing that I’d slept for nearly 14 hours. “Okay, who is it?”

Mom shook her head and finally let the smile break free. “I think you should check for yourself, they said they’ve been wanting to see you for a while.” I cocked my head, confusion etched across my face. She just smiled brighter as she backed out of the room. “Just get dressed and I’ll send them up in a couple minutes. They’re finishing some tea up with your dad.” Tea? Dad doesn’t even like tea, he’s a die-hard coffee lover. Confusion still clouding my mind, I walked to my closet, ignoring the suitcase on the ground and threw on a sundress I had left here. I didn’t know who was waiting or how formal I had to be. I quickly threw my hair into a braid before checking my face in the mirror. The puffiness wouldn’t be able to go away in time, as I already heard rushed steps up the stairs. It finally dawned on me that whoever it was was being sent up to my room. Who would my parents have me meet in my room instead of downstairs with them?

As soon as the thought finished, my door was practically kicked open. I had less than 2 seconds to process who it was before arms were around me and squeezing me almost as hard as Mom had at the airport. Instantly the familiar scent hit my nose and I reeled back, surprise taking over the confusion and tears welling up faster than ever before.

“My sweet babygirl, you think I could handle two weeks with you in another country across the world after what I did?” Chan smiled as tears streaked down his face, clearly wary of my reaction. “I- fuck. I’m so sorry for everything,” he fell to his knees in front of me. “I didn’t expect to meet your family like this. Hell, your dad’s first impression of me was with tears streaming down my face and blubbering out what I did before I was even invited in,” Chan laughed at himself a little. “Of course, then I was immediately brought to the kitchen where he had me sit down and explain everything. I felt like such an idiot saying it all out loud. I wouldn’t have forgiven me if I was him. But then he said it wasn’t up to him, it’s your decision on if I should get kicked to the curb.” I stood in silence, staring down at him. He wrapped his arms around my legs, shaking from the sobs he was clearly holding back. “Baby, my y/n. I don’t even know where to begin. I screwed up so tremendously. The company couldn’t even stop me before I had booked a flight and had Bin race me to the airport. Felix called me a moron before I left,” at that he leaned back and rubbed the back of his neck.

“He’s not wrong.” I sunk down to my knees to be level with him. His eyes widened and tears still silently slid down his cheeks. I shook my head as I pulled him to me, finally hugging him back. “You’re a moron for coming here when you should be working on the album. But I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more. We can get through this. I just- it sounds so selfish- but I needed to truly see if you still wanted this. This was more than I ever expected.” I pulled back to look him in the eyes, bringing my hands to his cheeks to wipe the tears away. I leaned forward and connected our foreheads, breathing in his presence.

His words were barely a whisper as he breathed them into our shared space. “I thought I lost you. I swear on my career that I will change for you. You mean too much to me to watch you slip away again. I love you more than words can express. To the moon and stars beyond, my angel. Always.” I closed my eyes at his confession, breathing in the love he was giving back to me.

“How about we go back downstairs and reintroduce you to my parents. Since, you know, you’re meeting them now.” I giggled softly as he stiffened. 

“Can we hold each other a little longer first? I look like a mess and it’s been long overdue to have you in my arms again.” I fully laughed at that. “Of course, love. You’re mine, they can wait to see the best version of you while I piece it back together for a bit.” He pulled away and stared at me. Without another word, he launched into a tackle, hugging me like he would never let go. 

[clonedchaos]

GUYS GUYS GUYSSSS IM LOSING MY MINNNNDDDD TRANSFORMERS ONE WAS SO GOOODDDD THIS IS LEGIT ME RN:

Okay, but seriously though, I really enjoyed it and want to make plans to see it again. So if you haven’t already, I highly recommend the film. It’s criminally underrated in terms of the box office, so go show it the love it so rightfully deserves!!! 🥰

Anywho, if you want to hear nonsensical spoilers, feel free to read below the cut.

Childhood me would never think I’d be somewhat shipping Optimus and Megatron but like… yeah I understand what y’all are getting at in your tumblr posts. (Fr though, their friendship was so sweet. D-16’s betrayal really did hurt. And it’s been a while since I’ve seen such a well done relationship like that in the media. They’re just two silly lads who genuinely cared about one another and yet got driven apart by vengeance.)

Every single time Bee said “Badassatron” I’m sobbing— He’s such a goober. Bumblebee was always my favorite as a kid, so I have a soft spot for him (even if Orion and D16 were my favorites in this film). “KNIFE HANDS” he’s a safety hazard. (Also him being slightly insane and making inanimate objects his friends to talk to and being self-aware that they’re fake— I AM STEVE?!)

Sentinel essentially saying “Nu-uh” to D-16 when he was rambling about his plans.

Why did they keep saying miner? 😭

Starscream is such a neeerddd per usual. Dang he’s simping for Megatron (I’m kidding y’all, I miss poking fun at the silly plane man)

Trion basically adopted these tiny 4 robots and yes it is canon 💯 (Bro shouldn’t have died, I wanted silly dad shenanigans 😭)

Orion- “Hey Darkwing, my finger can transform”. Meanwhile D16: *knocks Orion the heck out and then proceeds to get punched by Darkwing* My favorite part of the movie ngl

I am very Bumblebee core tbh. He’s just a silly little guy. A silly guy with knife hands.

Bee saying his dream was to work for the government had the theater and I howling (this was a very fun theater experience actually, loved the vibes)

The boys are just casually scared of Elita. Girlboss 💅 (Also I love that her and Arachnid had a fight. I vaguely remember them having a fight/maybe rivalry? In Transformers Prime. Speaking of which, I need to rewatch that. Its been years and I never finished it)

I’m sorry but the whole “Starscream” namesake and then D-16 damaging his vocal cords is obvious irony but still. Nice touch.

”Why did you gag him?” “He wouldn’t stop talking.” “Even when he was unconscious?” “ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS!” Bee’s certified yapper moment

Orion’s whole arc and relationship with D-16 is sad when you pair it with how they are in other iterations. Like, the reason Orion/Optimus would’ve been a stickler for the rules and order was because he was afraid of losing someone again like he lost D-16. (I can’t remember if their backstory is the same all across the board, its been a while since I brushed up on transformers stuff)

The animation was genuinely very pretty. I love the little magic sand particles and the way Megatron’s eyes have a glow trail as specific examples.

The child in me kept kicking my legs and screaming at the references. The mask! Roll out! When D got his signature arm gun I internally lost it. And Chris Hemsworth’s voice at the end of the film was a really really good Optimus voice.

“Is it… getting closer?” Meanwhile Bee: *running away for his life* (both him and Orion running at the start of the film absolutely took me out)

Okay I might do a follow up to this tomorrow, it’s late and I have work in the morning. I’ll think on some more things I want to add as well as some headcanons! Stay tuned!

[the-copycat-hero]

Villain Monoma: thoughts?

what do you think he'd be like? how do you think he became a villain? or just generally, any thoughts on Villain Monoma? 👁️

initial thoughts: YOOOOOOOO

longer thoughts: tbh as it stands in canon i could never see Monoma becoming a villain because of just how determined he has been to stand out as a hero - and also because he is a Kind Boy who i can't imagine would ever be willing to harm innocent people. that said, there are a few AUs where i could see him fighting for the other side, and i think that the general concept is SICK AS HELL.

(going to put the rest of this under a read more because as i am typing this i can already tell that this is gonna be a long one)

HOW MONOMA BECOMES A VILLAIN

Option #1 - Classic Case of Kidnapping: an AU where All-for-One isn't a massive dumbass and realizes that acquiring a kid who can literally copy quirks like a smaller, less lethal version of himself would be a Very Good Idea. he yoinks small child Monoma soon after his quirk manifests and raises him like he did Tomura. not really my favorite AU though, since Monoma would likely be a very different person were he raised to hate hero society from the start.

Option #2 - Siblings (Doomed by the Narrative): Monoma and Toga are related, and he defects to the villain's side because he cares about her and is stupidly loyal to those that he cares about. the problem is that he also cares about his friends at UA, so he generally has a terrible time of it all. (this is basically the plot of Blood the Color of Pomegranates).

Option #3 (my favorite) - the League of Villains Adopts Another Child: kind of like option #1, except someone else from the league (maybe Compress?) takes Monoma in after some traumatic event in his life and treats him better than his biological family ever did. i may actually make a separate post about this AU (or at least a similar one) because the idea haunts and vexes me.

HOW MONOMA BEHAVES AS A VILLAIN

it really depends on the circumstances that lead to him becoming a villain, but in any AU i'd write, i think he'd behave a lot like he does in canon. just like... 20% more unhinged.

very loud and dramatic at his baseline, but occasionally drops a line that is so serious and borderline heartbreaking that it gives pause to whomever he is fighting. ("Surely, you've felt that way before... how the hopes and dreams of childhood now grow heavy as burdens. It's as if we are cursed." WHAT KIND OF HIGH SCHOOLER SAYS SHIT LIKE THIS? WHO HURT YOU???)

loves monologuing, but is incredibly smart about it; he never gives away any information that could help the heroes, but he does occasionally drop misleading clues / red herrings that they inevitably waste their time pursuing.

fantastic strategist. sometimes, he'll copy a hero's quirk just so that he can study it and figure out its weaknesses.

still provokes his opponent during fights, but he gets even more personal with it somehow. he reads the heroes to filth, and unlike in canon, he genuinely means every word that he says.

i like the idea that Monoma can use a diluted form of someone else's quirk as long as he has access to their hair, so as a villain, i could see him cutting a chunk of hair off of anyone that he's downed.

incredibly OP and lowkey terrifying because he has access to the most busted quirks ever. imagine how nightmarish it would be to have two Shigarakis on your ass. TWO ALL-FOR-ONES. (Monoma steals quirks and then they disappear with his copy of AFO.) the heroes are so cooked it is not even funny.

would not endorse targeting young kids, even as a villain. if there is a little kid in the vicinity of a fight he's involved in, he WILL relocate. (it's easy with Kurogiri's quirk at his disposal).

wanted to be a hero at some point, and sometimes wishes that things could be different. but once he's found his place in the league, he'd be far too attached to ever consider abandoning them.

POSSIBLY COULD PLAY THE ROLE OF UA TRAITOR? (food for thought).

stopping here but i will be plotting

[fangirlanxiety74]

TELL ME ABOUT TED. Headcanons you have for him, anything... Can be silly or serious.

Someone... SOMEONE'S ASKING ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS?! IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE SOMEONE'S ASKED ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS!! HOLD ON, I MADE A DOCUMENT!! /ref/hj

In actuality, I did genuinely make a google doc. But it's not ready to be shared yet, so I'll share the highlights.

First off, the game manual lies. He is NOT 44. He's 33 at OLDEST. I kind of consider him more like 29/30. Just barely.

He grew up in South Carolina hehe, farm boy

Bisexual disaster but I think this is kinda just obvious.

He is the oldest between him and his 5 siblings!!! And adding onto this, he is SUCH a good older brother. I don't care if everyone else disagrees, he could be the worst man alive but the one good thing someone could say was that he took care of his siblings.

If you know Ayano from Kagerou Project, I think he's a lot like her when he's younger. Like 8/9 years old. He tried so hard to protect them all from their parents and keep them happy. He'd sacrifice so much for them, it's why he kinda,, went into the extreme of being so,, entitled as a grown up. Ykwim???

Just imagine. With the ice caves, moving without thinking to save the others before himself? His brain subconsciously doing what he knows best; sacrificing what he has for others.

Selflessness as a core trait for Ted, please.

Another thing relating to his siblings: He knows how to do ballet!! And he's REALLY good at it. He actually has a lot of fun doing it. One of his sisters wanted to, but she was too afraid to take lessons alone, so he went along with her in secret. Didn't get caught for years. (She stopped lessons once he got forced out of them)

He talks a little like a New-Yorker, or at the very least, that transAtlantic accent (yk like from the old movies?) to try and play off as that kind of guy like Great Gatsby.

His actual accent is Southern. Sometimes it slips out when he's like, extremely flustered/angry, but it's such a rare thing.

He can't stand the sound of someone crying, it immediately makes him angry. Take that, and yk, Ellen or Benny constantly crying... Yeaaaah. (This is also due to his siblings).

This is obvious, he forces himself into doing a lot of masculine things that he doesn't like to appear older/wiser/better, insert whatever word you wanna use that translates to "I am insecure about myself" lol

Okay this last one is really important to me and like. It. Needs its own special paragraph. He is a creative person in his soul. He loves to learn, he loves to write, he loves to read and dance and sing and draw and he has such a huge imagination and love for creativity. You can see it in his psychodrama with how it plays out like a full-blown Grimms Fairytale, the monster he imagined that no one else could see, the line in the radio drama "Am I the last storyteller, telling the last story...?"

He's a storyteller. He has so much to say and share, and he would've done something creative with his life if he had the option, but the abuse he faced and the societal expectations placed on him forced him to,, give it all up. Made him realize he could never have that. Which is why, at least in the game, AM chose him. Ted had so much potential to create, and just... gave it up. For seemingly nothing. Why wouldn't that make AM mad, who can't create, can't even imagine or wonder?

AKA Theatre Kid Ted canon, let it be known

I have like, also. I have a somewhat-AU of Omori for the ihnm cast, and Ted takes the role of Basil. I think Dream Basil vs RW Basil fit a lot of what he is as a kid vs an adult, or at least aspects of both due.

I also have a Hadestown AU of him with my self-insert where he takes the role of Eurydiceeee.... Like. Guys, Hadestown fans, hear me out. Ted singing "Flowers." AM singing "Hey Little Songbird" to Ted. PLEASE HEAR ME CAN YOU HEAR ME??? ARE YOU LISTENING??? /J

There's so much more I can say but this is getting so long I will definitely share more if people want nfjkdc bUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

[alkhale]

Ahhhh I’m so happy you’re back with all the memos tidbits!!! That little snippet of kid and his crew and the latest where he was literally thinking of throwing her into a crate and stealing her onto his ship really really realllyy makes me wonder what would happen is Hoku actually did join his crew (aka hokunapped) hahah. Been in love with their dynamic since the chapter they met hehe

Hoku would be an absolute menace on Kid's crew

His crew would actually begin to question whether or not it was a good decision to let their captain force her onto their ship

Would claim she's only working temp on his ship because she had strangely rationalized that this was a good way to get Luffy to give up on her/she could just ditch this crew whenever and go die peacefully in a hut somewhere after following the news of the Straw Hat's journey

Is constantly questioning/not listening to his authority, she never takes it to the point of being blatantly mean, but just kinda ignores his orders/does whatever she wants

Hoku makes sure to get work done for the crew to earn her keep, helping out with ship chores, figuring out who's the cleanliest and making sure things don't look too gross with all these grease monkeys hanging around (she's not that neat either)

pops up in strange places around the ship, gets along with random crew members, even offers to help ink tattoos for them from time to time once she really warms up to them

she's become a bit fond of these weird, punk rock pirates

is always fighting with Kid, it's either two-sided shouting matches or one-sided curses and shouts from Kid while she picks at her ear and ignores him

unironically ends up causing him to be both a more destructive and less destructive pirate, he causes less human bodily harm but ends up destroying more houses or towns from his fights with Hoku (she always tries to rebuild homes for anyone)

it's a running joke to see how long they can go at sea before Kid gets angry at her, he seems to get livid at the very sight of her just lounging on her back on top of some barrels, but his crew reminds him its his fault for wanting her

Hoku likes messing with Kid but she actually starts to warm up, very, very little to him. She kind of finds him more amusing than anything else, fun to mess with, likes that he's so bullheadedly passionate about his dreams but just hates how angry he always is

"I think he just needs to get laid," Hoku finally joked once to Killer, causing the first mate to pause completely in the middle of his meal. There's a few things Killer could say to that, but he decides it's wiser not to get involved with anything in that regard

Killer just isn't sure how to tell her that sometimes Kid's "anger" isn't quite "anger"...

Hoku and Kid spar often, mostly because it's a fight turned physical but Kid genuinely thrives when it comes to fighting with Hoku

one sparring match in particular ends up a bit...

"You're always runnin' around like a rat," Kid accused, kicking up a storm of sand as he lunged for Hoku. She leapt out of his reach, dodging his metal extended claws. "Afraid of getting caught, doll?"

"You're always grabbing," Hoku snapped back. She lowered herself briefly to the sand, swinging her foot out and catching Kid in his side. He grabbed quickly for her ankle, but Hoku swung her foot up and sprung back on her hands, just out of his grasp. "Always tryin' to hug me."

"Shut it!" Kid snarled. The shore line lapped right at their side, encroaching closer onto the sandy slope. A salty breeze tousled Hoku's hair out of her face, baring her completely to him. "One of these days you're gonna be cryin' because of this."

Hoku laughed, a loose, breezy sound that grated against his ears. Kid felt his pulse thundering louder in his ears. Hoku leapt nimbly closer, he knew this tactic well by now, her way of getting ready to try to finish him off. Her fingers reached for her sword. "Whatever you say, brat—"

Kid moved differently this time, lunging forward, arms raised. Hoku balked for a second in surprise, eyes wide at his frontal assault. Kid still had hulk and mass over her, the entirety of him slamming her down into the ground with a ghost of her breath rushing past his ear.

Hoku reacted quickly, scrambling with him in the sand as grains flew across the both of them. Kid wrestled with her, trying to force either both her wrists into one of his or pin her legs down—whichever he could manage first—a knee slammed into his ribcage, a foot managed to extend and catch the side of his head—damn she's flexible.

Hoku's hand grabbed at his hair, pulling roughly. Kid snarled, blood pumping at the sensation while Hoku glared fiercely beneath him. Something thrummed, a little louder in his ears, and before Kid could force her down Hoku was suddenly heaving with all her might—legs locked tightly around his waist. Kid felt himself go sideways before he could fight back, forced with a rough palm down onto his back and facing upwards as Hoku straddled him.

Her hair fanned out wildly around her face. Sweat dripped a bit from her chin from their brief and rough struggle. Hoku glared down at him, daring him to fight back. Her lips pulled into a little bit of a snarl, the faint glint of that sharp canine catching light. Kid's hand shot up automatically, gripping her waist, the other grasping her thigh—his entire hand could almost cover the expanse of her thigh, he realized suddenly, like a screw clattering to the ground in the back of his head. He could feel the heat of her skin through her rough pants, the taut muscle and still slightly plush flesh at his fingertips, dents pressing under his grip.

Her hip fit even easier into his hand, one firm grip. His eyes flickered up briefly to her face, still twisted into a daring look of triumph above him—the faint heave of her chest, the rise and fall, rise and fall—

A drop of sweat rolled down the column of her neck. Kid felt something heavy pull into his gut.

God, he should kill this woman.

More screws clattered to the ground in his mind, a ruckus of noise, each one a shattering image of Hoku laughing annoyingly amidst his crew, shoving Wire as she almost fell over her barrel. An image of her snoozing uselessly in the sun, glowing from its warmth, sprawled out with ease across the deck. Her hair catching the first rays of light as she peeked over the crow's nest from the watch the night before. Her eyes meeting his across a bar, crinkled at the corners in teasing annoyance—

He needed to wreck this woman.

Her fingers wrapped around her brush. The slow or quick turn of her hand across paper. The colors that spilled out beneath her fingertips. Her happy, grudging huffs of awe at his work. The soft, audible sound of her in his private workshop, gaze lowered to whatever project laid before her.

He needed to—

Her eyes, flickering to meet his gaze, reflecting his visage entirely.

Hoku suddenly went ramrod straight above Kid. She paused, her once firm grip of his chest and head faltering. Kid blinked, annoyed to have been dragged from his thoughts as he looked back up at Hoku—

Kid blinked, once, twice, going almost slack in disbelief at the sight before him.

Hoku's cheeks had flushed, a dark, flustered red. She looked stunned, stupified almost as though she was trying to comprehend and register the situation at hand herself. Kid watched, almost mesmerized by the way that blush seemed to creep from the back of her neck as well—did her whole body flush like that? How far did it go?

Why the hell was she blushing in the first place—

(Something hard pressed flush against the inside of Hoku's thigh, a size she did not need to consider, situated right beneath the weight of her pressing originally hard down against Kid to keep him pinned—)

Kid went carefully still in realization. His grip on Hoku instantly went slack.

(Her weight fit snug against him. A shudder threatened to run down the back of his neck. Shamelessly he imagined for a second her back against the sand, her hair sprawled out amidst it. Her eyes, round and wide filled with his visage, her cheeks flushed, his lips following it down her neck. Something hot pooling in his gut flushed upwards, right to his fingertips as they flexed, suddenly itching to hold—)

Hoku was off Kid in a flash, jumping to her feet as her hands flew up into the air as though she were under arrest. Kid scrambled up onto his elbows, jaw working—

"Hey, uh, sorry about that," Hoku said first before Kid could even think of what ought to come out of his mouth. He blinked dumbly at her. "It's—that's a totally normal thing to happen, so don't worry about it, yeah? No worries, bud. Uh—I'll um, go? See ya back on the ship!"

Hoku darted away, running off the sand before he could even grab for her ankle or hold her back. Kid sat there amidst the sand, heat pulsing against his skin, a very real, very personal problem tenting upwards against his—

Kid let out something like a slew of curses, shouting angrily at nothing and everything—

Killer was perplexed for only about five minutes later that evening when Kid returned, some time after Hoku, more angry and grumpy but strangely subdued around her in a way he was not before, and then Killer sorta figured it out

-basically Hoku on Kid's crew is 3/5 her giving him an aneurysm and 2/5s something else

[endthedream]

sunshine

pairing: merman!jeno x reader (she/her)

summary: Moving back to the town known for it's cruse of letting fisherman disappear from the ocean isn't the best idea - accoring to your parents. But they don't understand. They don't understand that for five years you lived without knowing if the encounter you had with a strange boy with a fishtail was real. They don't understand that your heart is calling for him.

words: 21.3k

story colour: silver

note: This story is so different from everything I've written so far. And I can say with my whole heart that I'm proud of this. Everyone close to me had to witness the mess I've been while writing this. The excitment, frustration and impatience I had while working on this. I really hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Remember to always treat people with kidness!🪽

(Also enjoy the little special guest appearing in this story)

masterlist of ‘nct dream as supernatural creatures’

It feels like ages since you last been here.

The place you grew up in. The place you spent your childhood in. All your favorite memories happened in this very town.

A small seaside town south of the pacific ocean. It’s fairly known for its high fish rate. Fisher all over the world visit this town to see for themselves the wonder it promises. But as many fishers as you gain, as many you also lose as well. While the town is known for its wonders, it is also known for its curse. Many people sailing the sea around the town have mysteriously gone missing, only their boat returning safely to the shore. At first every time this happened, people would search day after day for the missing person, but after many of those incidents, people stopped. Now only a bitter taste lingers whenever an empty boat washes up on the shore.

Shortly before your parents decided to move away from the town you once called your home, a nine-year-old girl went missing. She vanished after going into the sea for a swim. She was just four years younger than you. Everyone in town was in shock, mourning over the young life that was taken that day.

So, it makes sense why your parents and friends questioned your decision to go back to the very same town you moved away from. The very same town your parents started to get scared of.

You could just say it’s the sea you miss. The smell of saltwater engulfing you. The melody of the waves crashing against the sand, hypnotizing everyone that spends just a few minutes watching it. You could say it’s the people greeting you every day, asking about your well-being, and offering you fresh fruits to try. The genuine care the people show and the fun little events they plan. You could say you miss the friends you grew up with, not having talked to them in five years and wanting to know what happened to them. Get in on the five-year worth gossip you missed. You could say you miss the person you once were back when you were 13, craving to seek what you lost and once had. But that would all be a lie.

The answer is very simple. You are going back because the town is calling you. Well, not the town itself, more someone else. It’s him calling you.

When you step foot outside the little apartment you moved in a few hours ago, you are immediately greeted with the fresh breeze of the coastal town. Salt lingers in the air, and you can hear seagulls squawking as they fly over the water. A familiar feeling washes over you, the very same you felt as a child. It makes you stop with your eyes closed, taking in the nostalgia that engulfs you. You can get used to this again. How your muscles loosen up and every doubt you felt, every hardship you had over the past months, it all fades away almost instantly. It’s like you are ten years old again, running through the small streets, chasing the wind, and filling the town with your joyous laughter.

But before you stand still on the same spot for any longer, you decide to walk around the town, intrigued by what has changed in the five years that you’ve been away.

And you notice pretty quickly that nothing really changed. Yes, the people grew older. The apple lady has more wrinkles on her phase and old creepy Mike can barely walk anymore, but the town still looks the same. You still find the graffiti at the back of the fish museum – yes, the chairman of the town insisted on making one to honor the towns trademark - was still there, looking exactly as worn out as it did before you left. The little bakery still has tape sticking over the hole a teenager smashed into the window when you were nine. You guess that they either don’t have the money or time to fix it and work well enough with the tape. The water dispenser still stands at the exact same place, a bit rustier than you have it in mind, seeming that still no one uses it. You remember your mother telling you how many germs there are on it, and it made you stay five feet apart from it ever since. You also saw one kid turning it on and tripping over as the force of the water splashed right into their face.

But most importantly, you walk by the small garden that was built further away from the town center. It was made by the Na’s who own the local flower shop. Ever since you discovered it, is has been your favorite place. You remember how you used to always come here whenever your parents gave you a hard time at home. And as you enter the small area, you can’t fight the small smile that makes its way to your lips.

The garden is filled with flowers of all kind and colors. Butterflies, bees and other small animals fly around, taking place on the beautiful flowers. A magpie flies by you and into the tree where its nest is, feeding its baby with worms they just found. You can’t help but to stare at the scenery in front of you, silently thanking the Na’s for still taking care of this place and putting their time into making it look like you stepped into another world.

You wish you could stay here all day, watching the different animals and basking in the comfort you get from this place, but the rumble of your stomach changes your mind. It reminds you that you haven’t eaten anything besides a chocolate bar, too nervous about your arrival in your hometown. So, you go to the only place you’ve trusted with your food ever since you were a child.

“Dream Team” the bakery with the smashed in window owned by the Lee family. When it comes to bread, cakes, and pastries, no one beats the Lee’s. Not even the bakeries in the city you moved to. But maybe it is just because you are biased. Mark Lee, the son of the owners, was your best friend growing up. Your ride or die. Someone you thought you would never lose. Well, everything changed when you moved.

A part of you is scared about seeing him again, dreading his reaction upon your arrival. But another part is beaming with excitement, wanting desperately to see what happened to the once awkward and shy boy.

Without further hesitation, you open the door to the little bakery and step in. And almost immediately you are greeted with the smell of freshly baked goods. Bread, cakes, doughnuts and most importantly their famous cherry pie. You haven’t had a piece of it in five years and admitting it, you missed it a lot. No matter to which bakery you went and tried cherry pie, nothing could compete with the one the Lee’s bake.

The little bakery still looks the same. They still have the same tables that you and Mark used to write hidden messages underneath and the bright orange chair standing around them. You remember buying those chairs with the Lee’s when they first opened the bakery. You found them at a thrift store a few hours from here. Mark’s mom fell in love with them the second she saw them. Saying something about how they will bring contrast into the little bakery, making people stop and stare. And that’s exactly what happened. Everyone talked about those chairs, and they became the number one attraction of the ‘Dream Team’.

Walking further in, you see the small picture frame hanging on the brick walls and it wrenches your heart. They kept the picture of you and Mark baking your first cake when you were five. It’s one of your fondest moments. You had just met Mark two days prior in the kindergarten. You always thought he was weird, not talking to anyone and mostly keeping to himself. But your mom explained to you that the little boy just moved here from Canada with his parents and that he was probably just too shy to make friends. So, you made it your task to become friends with the strange boy. You can still remember the way his eyes lit up the moment you talked to him, like he has been waiting for someone to finally approach him. And when he showed you his Pokémon card collection, you knew this friendship would last forever.

Apparently forever is a short time. Because when you moved, it only took two months for the two of you to lose contact with each other. Busy with life and responsibilities. You having to adapt to a new town, a new school and struggling to make friends. And him, well, you don’t know what happened to him. Or why he stopped responding to your calls and messages. You just hope it wasn’t something bad, or that you did something to scare him away.

“Y/N?”, you hear a voice calling out for you. Turning around you see a young man standing in the door frame of the bakery. And it takes you a second to recognize who he really is.

“Mark? Is that you?” Letting go of the things he is holding in his hands, Mark runs over to you and immediately engulfs you into a tight hug, spinning you around in circles.

Joyous laughter fills the small space. “Is that really you? Or am I just imagining all this?”

A chuckle falls from your lips, as Mark sets you down to the ground again, giving you the chance to take a good look at him for the first time in years.

He looks different, but the same. He still has his boyish smile and big doe eyes, but his features matured. Showing that he isn’t the little awkward boy anymore, but a grown man. It’s weird seeing him like this again, so used to the picture of him that is still burned in your memories.

“You’re not imagining anything. I’m really here.”

Mark smiles brightly at you, taking you in a good look at you. You have changed as well, puberty making itself noticeable on your body.

“Damn.”, Mark says, his voice a lot deeper than you have imagined it to be. “You look so good. What happened to you?”

You have to laugh at that, punching his shoulder playfully. “What a charmer. But you too Mark. You look so grown, it’s crazy.”

“Yeah, puberty.”, he smiles, being almost unable to take his eyes off you. Somehow Mark still cannot believe that you’re really standing here in front of him after all those years. He has already given up on the thought of seeing his childhood best friend ever again. But here you are, in your full glory. “But what are you doing here? Are you visiting?”

“No, not visiting. I came back, permanently.”

“What?”, the boy in front of you asks in disbelief. “But why? Didn’t you like it in your new town?”

“I did like it there. But that’s not the reason I came back.” It’s not even a lie. You really did like it in the town you moved to, but somehow no matter what you did and what you changed, it never felt like home. It was never a place you wanted to grow up in or build a life in. So, you had to come back to the only place you felt like a connection to. The place that changed your life with just one incident. “I just missed my home. My real home. And I missed you. God, I missed you so much Mark.”

Mark can’t help but to pull you into another hug. “I missed you too, Sunshine.” You smile at the nickname, wrapping your arms around tighter around him. No one has called you that since you moved, and you missed it. Sunshine is the nickname Mark’s father gave you when you were nine. He said that whenever you enter a room the sun shines brighter, like it senses the presence of someone pure hearted. He called you the happy pill since you loved to make the people around the town smile. Helping them with their tasks, gifting the children your old play toys and always wearing a smile yourself. The nickname got carried around and after a while everyone called you sunshine.

“Mark Lee. What have I told you about leaving your things at the entrance? The customers won’t even be able to get in and-“, Mark’s mother stops scolding Mark as her eyes land on the two of you. She hesitates for a second, thinking her eyes are betraying her.

“Y/N, dear? Is that really you?” You let go of Mark, walking over to Mark’s mom.

“Yes, it’s me. How have you been doing?”

You can see tears forming in her eyes, as she sets the flowers in her hand down and wraps her arms around you. “How I have been doing? God, Y/N, how have you been doing? We haven’t seen each other in so long.”

Tears stream down the older woman’s face and you can’t help but to let one or two slip yourself. “I’ve been good. Stressed from graduating, but good none of the less. And you?”

“I’m so much better now that I’ve seen you.” You huff out a laugh, letting her go to wipe the tears from your face. “Look at you. You are the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

Redness fills your cheeks as you scoff from embarrassment. Marks’ mom always knew what to say to make you feel like her words are actually true. She was one of the people helping you in the process of self-love. “You always know how to boost my confidence.”

You’ve always had a good relationship with Mark’s parents. They loved you the minute Mark introduced you to them in kindergarten, glad that their little boy finally made a friend. Especially his mom loved you. Not having a daughter herself, she treated you like the daughter she never had. Girls’ days filled with doing each other’s hair and nails. Weekly meet ups to talk about boys, discuss the problems only women understand. She was like a mother to you and seeing her again after such a long time, makes you realize how much you really missed her.

“You must be starving from coming here all the way. Sit down. I will get you a plate of cherry pie.” You smile at the mention of your favorite pie, hearing your belly grumble in cheer of finally getting something to eat. Turning around to find a table to sit on, you see Mark secretly wiping away a stray tear himself.

You sit down at one of the tables, relishing the familiar feeling you have in the presence of the Lee’s. It’s comforting, knowing you are at a place where you can be yourself. A place you are loved and appreciated at.

“You know what?”, Mark says, sitting down beside you. “This is the table we used to always write stuff on.”

“Really?”, you exclaim, already bending down to look at the underside of the table. Seeing all the little doodles you made all those years ago. From deformed dogs to funny words and friendship declarations.

“Don’t think I’ve never noticed your little drawings.”, Mark’s mom says as she puts your plate with pie down at the table. You and Mark sit up straight again, giving each other a busted look. “I clean those tables every day. But I couldn’t bare to wipe them away. If it weren’t for me spraying hair spray on them, they would be long gone.”

“Really mom? That’s so sweet of you.” Mark’s mom ruffles his hair, giving her son a sweet smile.

“I didn’t want to erase the years of friendship you have.”, she points to the pie, looking at you now. “Eat up, dear. Later I will take you two out to dinner so we can catch up some more, okay?”

Both of you nod, you already stuffing your mouth full of cherry pie and Mark laughing at your messy face. All while Mark’s mom watches you. A soft smile on her lips, glad to see the two of you together again.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Later that day you enter the bakery yet again, having changed out of your sweatpants into a summer dress. You see Mark cleaning the tables while his mom counts the income they made that day.

And you notice the vase of beautiful orange and yellow tulips on the register. “Those are beautiful.”, you remark as you lean closer to them, inhaling the sweet scent.

Marks’ mom looks up at you, a smile forming on her lips. “They are from ‘Flora’.”, she says, walking over to you.

“Flora? Isn’t that Jaemin’s parents’ flower shop?”

“Yes.”, Mark answers this time. “Well, it turned more into Jaemin’s store. His parents still help out a lot in the store, but Jaemin does most of the work these days.”

You nod, thinking about the just mentioned boy. Na Jaemin. You still remember the kind boy with the prettiest smile you have ever seen. How can you not remember him, when you had the biggest crush on him in middle school. You almost feel like the little girl again that blushed at the mere thought of being in the presence of Jaemin. Everyone had a crush on him at some point. He made girls and boys melt into a puddle right in front of him without even doing anything.

It's crazy how you can still vividly picture yourself standing at your locker until the bell rings just so you could get a glimpse of him. But from one to another day that changed. And suddenly the kind boy didn’t interest you anymore. Your focus was put on something totally different.

“Didn’t you have like the biggest crush on him?”, Mark asks with a teasing voice, knowing exactly what the answer to his question is. You used to always vent to Mark about your crush on Jaemin and how perfect he is. Mark would just tell you to shut it and go talk to Jaemin, completely over your constant raving.

“I mean, yeah, but that was so long ago.” The longer you think about Jaemin, the more intrigued you are to know what has happened to him. Did he change a lot? He probably did. “Is it okay if I quickly head to the flower shop and say hi to him? I just haven’t seen him in so long.”

“You’re sure it’s not for another reason?”, Mark asks, wiggling his eyebrows at you. But before you can react, his mom already nudges her elbow into his rip cage.

“Mark, stop that.”, she shakes her head at her son. “Of course, sweetheart. How about we meet at the restaurant?”

“Sounds perfect.”, you say, excitement rushing through your veins. “See you in a bit.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The smell of flowers variates between sweet and fruity, and musky and deep. It fills you with happiness, relaxation and calmness. You read once that the floral scent can help with anxiety and stress. Lavender and Jasmine are even said to have a sedative effect on the nervous system and can help to provide better sleep. Sticking your nose into a Boquete bursting with aromas and scents can lift the spirit and the soul. That’s why the scent of flowers is an inspiration for perfumes and beauty products. The scents can take us to other places, evoke people and create memories.

That’s why the minute you step into ‘Flora’ you feel like you spent the whole day relaxing at the beach. It feels like this is the first time you woke up from a deep slumber and you’ve never felt more alive. It feels like a fresh breeze on a hot summer day, feeling the first ray of sunshine after a long cold winter, taking a long walk in the forest and listening to the birds chirping.

You look at the different types of flowers, in all their colors, forms and sizes. You don’t even know the name of half of these flowers.

“Welcome to Flora. What can I do for you?”, a deep voice speaks up, catching your attention. As you look at the owner of the voice, your eyes almost bulge out. Na Jaemin stands behind the register, hair falling over his eyes and a bright smile on his lips, the same you remember from when you were younger. He definitely changed. He looks older, not in a bad way. Jaemin just looks more mature. His features more defined, destroying the boyish image you still had in your head. But that was not the only thing you noticed is more defined. The hot weather made Jaemin wear a white t- shirt, showing off his arms. And you guess, he must be hitting the gym regularly, because that can’t happen overnight.

“And so, we meet again, Na Jaemin.”, you greet him as you walk over to him, a sweet smile on your lips. You watch the boys’ eyes widen in recognition of you.

“Y/N?”, his voice filled with disbelief as if the last person he expected to see was you.

“Yep, in full glory.” Jaemin walks around the corner and stops right in front of you. Like Mark, not believing you are actually here and thinking his brain is playing a joke on him.

“What?”, his hands hold your shoulders, slightly shaking you to test if you’re real. “What are you doing here? I thought I would never see you again.”

“Well, as a talented poet once said, ‘Never say never.’” A scoff leaves Jaemins’ lips, shaking his head in disapproval.

“You are calling Justin Bieber a poet now? I always forget you are best friends with Mark. Dickinson would turn in his grave if he heard you say that.”

“What can I say.”, you remark between a chuckle. “Mark and I have taste.”

Looking at Jaemin, you understand why you’re ten-year-old you had a crush on him. Not only is his bare presence captivating, but he also has one of the kindest souls. Never going a day without having done something good for other people. He knew exactly what to do and say to make people swoon over him, but he never used it to his advantage. Always having the purest intentions with his actions.

“You took over your parents store?”, you ask him after some seconds of silence.

“Oh, yeah. I started working here fulltime after graduating.”

You nod as you listen to him, letting your eyes wander around the store. You haven’t been here a lot, always too nervous about the possibility of running into Jaemin. Occasionally, you went in the store with your mom when she was having trouble picking out beautiful flowers and needed your help. But other than that, you always avoided the store. And now years later, you start to regret it. The flower shop is beautiful. Not only because of the endless colorful flowers filling the space, but also because of the wooden furniture giving it a cozy touch. Soft music plays in the background and an orange cat lays on one of the unoccupied chairs, snoring from deep slumber.

“Do you like working here?”, you ask him, as you your eyes meet his again.

Jaemin nods his head, looking around the shop himself with fondness in his eyes. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, and I’ve never been happier.”

You coo at him, happy that he found his place in life. “That’s wonderful to hear.”

“What about you?”, he asks you now, looking back into your eyes. “Why are you here again?” For a moment, you consider sitting down with him, telling him everything that happened over the years and everything that inspired you to come back. But you realize you have enough time to do that, not planning on leaving any time soon. So instead, you opt for a less complicated and long answer.

“It’s a long story. But I guess I just missed home and wanted to come back.”

“Well, we can always sit down and then you can tell me the longer version of your answer. How those that sound?” Another smile forms on your lips, noticing that you actually can’t stop smiling in his presence. “Sounds wonderful. You can tell me your schedule and we can figure out a day and time. I just need go now. Mark and his mom are waiting for me.”

Jaemin walks back behind the register, writing down something on a piece of paper. “Here’s my number so you can contact me.”

Taking the paper, you bid your goodbye, promising to text him as soon as you are back in your small apartment and heading to the door.

“Y/N?”, Jaemin calls out for you, making you turn back around to him, the doorknob resting in your hand. “I’m glad you’re back. We all missed you a lot.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You can’t wait any longer. Sitting in your apartment makes you go crazy, when you know what could be waiting for you.

After going out for dinner with the Lee’s, you spent the rest of the night in your apartment. Pacing up and down, trying to ignore the raging urge raising in your veins. The moment you arrived today you could feel the ocean calling to you. You could feel him calling to you. And while that could just be your delusional mind playing tricks on you, trying to convince you of something that probably didn’t even happen, there was a part of you that still hopes. That still believes. You are not the thirteen-year-old naïve girl anymore. You are a grown woman. A grown woman who has a sane mind.

So why are you at the very end of the beach, far away from where the people usually spend their time on the sand, shortly after midnight? To prove something to yourself? To help those sleepless nights tossing and turning and trying to find answers to the millions of questions in your head?

You sit down on the rocks that separate you from the water. No one can see you from here. So, it’s just you. You and the soft melody of the waves crashing against the shore.

“I don’t know if you can hear me.”, you start to speak up into the darkness of the night. “I don’t even know if you’re still here. I mean it’s been five years. Why would you still show up?” You lean back on your hands, closing your eyes and letting the night breeze engulf your body. “I never forgot you, you know? All those years I’ve been thinking about you. If you are doing well and what might have happened to you. You’re probably wondering where the hell I’ve been. Well, it’s a pretty long story. My parents got scared of the rumors and the fisher disappearing, so they decided to move away. Far away from here, actually. That’s why I could never visit. But I wish I had. I didn’t realize how much I missed this town until I was gone. I didn’t realize how much I missed you.”

You scoff at your own words. “Do you know how pathetic that sounds? Everyone thought I was crazy, even my own parents. No one believed me. No one believed that you were actually real. My parents told everyone that it’s just my imagination, putting the fault on my age. But I knew I didn’t imagine you. How could I? When I felt you, right under my fingertips. Even days after the incident, I could feel the softness of your skin. I just want to know, please.”, you beg, voice coming out as a bare whimper.

“Are you still there? After all these years. I’m not leaving again. This time I’m staying, Jeno.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The next days went by painfully slow. You visited the same place, sitting on the very same rocks and talking into the nothingness every single night. Not giving up your hopes. Your parents may have called you crazy, but they also didn’t raise a quitter. You know the truth and you will try again and again until you can finally be at ease.

You also have been meeting up more with Mark and Jaemin. Sometimes together, sometimes separately. It feels nice, having actual genuine friends again. The new friends you made in your old town couldn’t even be called friends. They never cared to invite you to meet ups, talked a lot about behind your back and spent their free time gossiping about everything that breaths. But they were the only people you had and so you learnt to tolerate them.

“I’m destroying you.”, Mark shouts as he follows the dance steps on the Tv. You don’t know what brought you into this situation. A Wii controller in your hand as you play Just Dance against Mark, while Jaemin sits on the couch. His belly aching from laughing at the two of you.

“Destroying me?”, you scoff. “Look at the score, I’m winning.” You must admit, after playing a few rounds, you’re out of breath. Your muscles are aching and your lungs collapsing, but you can’t let Mark win. The thought of having him brag about a win is fueling the fire inside you and makes you push through, despite your body’s complaints.

“You forget that you play against the master Just Dance player.”, Mark voice comes out in short breaths, showing the exhausting clearly.

“Is that why you lost two rounds against me?” Mark only rolls his eyes, ignoring your teasing comment and focusing on winning the game.

But as it comes to the last second, every move he makes gets declined, making you win with a huge head start.

“Take that Just Dance master.”

“That’s so unfair.”, he whines as he throws himself on the couch. “The Wii controller is ridged. I would have totally won.”

You roll your eyes into the glass of water you’re drinking. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.” Looking at the clock you let out a slight gasp. It’s already near midnight. “Oh god, it’s so late. I should head home.”

Another whine leaves Mark’s lips. “Why? I want a rematch. My ego can’t handle losing against you.”

“You’re like a little kid, Mark. We can play tomorrow again.” You grab your coat, putting it on so you don’t freeze from the cold night air.

“I will walk you home.”, Jaemin says, standing up as well and grabbing his own coat.

“Oh no, you don’t have to. If you want to stay, you can do that. Don’t worry about me.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders. “I have to open up the flower shop early tomorrow anyway, so it’s better if I go home as well.”

The walk to your apartment is, well, a bit awkward. While the both of you did hang out this week, it was just one time where you were actually alone. The other times with Mark by your side. But you don’t mind the silence. It’s nice, if you’re being honest. You enjoy not having to engage in forced small talk and just enjoying each other’s presence.

When you arrive in front of your apartment, Jaemin doesn’t bid you goodbye. Instead, he just stands there, seemingly like he wants to say something.

“Okay, spit it out. I can see that you want to say something.” Jaemin lets out a deep chuckle, raising a hand to brush the lose hair in front of his eyes away.

“Busted.”, he states, trying to break the tension that lingers in the air. “I just wanted to say that I’m really glad you’re back, Y/N. I know we didn’t have a lot of contact back when we were younger, but you were always a very dear person to me, and I was devastated when you moved.” Jaemin rubs the back of his neck, nervousness written all over his body. “I’m just glad to have you back.”

“Is that all you want to say.” He hesitates for a moment before nodding his head. “I’m glad to be back as well, Jaemin. Thank you for telling me that, it means a lot to me.”

Jaemin gives you another nod, before blowing out some air. “Well, I should better go. See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

That night you didn’t show up at the beach, too focused on Jaemins’ words. For some reason you have the feeling that it wasn’t everything Jaemin wanted to tell you that night. And it makes you wonder, what exactly made him so nervous around you?

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

When you show up the next day, you feel the difference in the air. The waves are louder, crashing hard against the rock you’re sitting on, turning its once beautiful melody into chaos.  

“I know you’re here.”, you speak up after a few minutes of silence. “I can feel you watching me, Jeno. I’m getting tired of this. Please just come out.” But as every night, you speak into the void.

“Okay, I’m leaving. I’m not in the mood to wait today.” As you get up to leave you can hear a splashing sound, louder and heavier than the waves normally make. And you know that it wasn’t a wave or a fish. You know exactly what it was.

“You weren’t here yesterday.” That voice. So familiar, but yet so strange. Sounding like dripping with honey, filling up your senses with its sweetness. Sticking onto you, and not once letting you go.

So, you turn around to look at the boy in front of you. The boy everyone told you, you imagined. The boy that has been haunting your dreams, calling for you in the ocean, having a tight grip on you. The boy that made it impossible for you to let any other guy come close to you, that made you hesitate whenever someone asked you out. And the boy that changed your life. By just one incident. Not being able to control yourself, you smile. You smile at him with relief written all over your face. This is what you’ve been waiting for. The day you couldn’t wait to come. The day you finally saw the merman, whose life you saved, again.

“Hi Jeno.”

Five years ago

Your mom always told you to be aware of the dangers that lay in the unknown. To never make rapid decisions without thinking long and hard about it. She told you to stay away from strange man on the street and only talk to people your parents already introduced you to. To never take candy from anyone you don’t know and change the side of the street when you see a white van parked close by. But your dad taught you to be kind. To smile at people on the street and greet them with a friendly hello. He told you to help when you see someone in need and never hesitate to offer to take over some chores, they aren’t able to do. To tell people kind words and take every opportunity to make someone’s day better. He told you to spread kindness all over the world, because we don’t have a lot of it anymore.

So, that’s why you hesitate as you see someone lying in the sand far away from where the visitors on the beach are, not showing any signs of being alive. It is the two different approaches on life your parents taught you, that make you stop where you’re standing and think about your options. You don’t want to get kidnapped or get into a troubled situation with a strange person. But at the same time, you want to go up to the person, see if they are still alive and help them.

As you take graduate and slow steps forward, your first worry starts to fade. You don’t see a strange man laying on the ground, but rather a young boy around your age. He’s covered in seaweed, lying face down in the sand. For a minute you think he is dead by the way he lays so still, but as you get closer, kneeling beside him, you see his back rising and falling, signaling that he is breathing. Relief washes over you, having feared that you might have to report a dead body washed up on the shore. It would be the first time.

Because of the curse creeping over your small town, it’s not an uncommon thing for people to go missing and bodies never being found. So, that would have been the first time a body was found. And you’re glad it isn’t.

Still, you kneel on the ground, not knowing what to do. Maybe you should go and tell your parents, or just any nearby adult. They probably know what’s best in this situation. But at the same time, what if it would be too late? What if you leave and when you come back the boy is either dead or even worse, gone. You can’t risk that, can you? Or maybe it’s just the fact that you don’t want to get caught here, so far away from the people on the dangerous shore with the big rocks. Your parents would ground for the rest of your life and that’s not what you want as the towns summer festival is approaching.

Reaching out a hand, you softly place it on top of the boys’ bare back, gasping as you make contact with the coldness of his skin. You shake him gently, seeing if it gets a reaction out of him, but nothing. No flinch, no fluttering of the eyes, nothing. So, you shake him harder, calling out a bunch of phrases, like ‘Hello?’ ‘Can you hear me?’ ‘Are you conscious?’. But still nothing. No reaction at all.

You look around, searching for something, anything, to get him to wake up. And as your eyes land on the salty water in front of you, you got an idea.

Standing up, you walk towards the ocean. You kneel again, forming your hands into a bowl and scooping up some water. Walking back to him, careful not to let the water drip, you do the only thing you think is left to do. You splash the water right on his face.

And almost immediately, the young boy awakens, eyes wide and mouth agape. He looks around for a few seconds, dazed and confused about where he is and how he got here. That is until his eyes land on you, looking down at him. A scream leaves his lips, and he scrambles away, trying to get into the water. But his body isn’t moving, the sand around him and the seaweed covering his body, making it hard for him to get away.

“It’s okay.”, you say with a calm voice. “I’m not here to hurt you. I just found you laying here, and I wanted to help you. You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

But that does not face the boy, he still tries to get back into the water. Crawling forward with his arms and that’s when you see it.

Something silver shimmering under the seaweed. It catches your attention immediately. Getting closer to him again, you raise your hand to push the seaweed away, gasping and backing up when you see what’s underneath.

Instead of having legs like you, the boy has a tail. A silver fish tail with scales, shimmering under the shining sun. The boy turns around to you, seeing your shocked expression. He lets out a panicked sound, wiggling around like a fish on land, which he probably is.

You watch him, shock still consuming your whole body. It’s like you can’t move anymore. Every single muscle in your body is paralyzed. And you question if this is even real. Maybe you’re just dreaming all of this and in a few seconds, you’ll wake up, relieved that it was all just in your head. You wish you could move your arm to pinch yourself, but nothing of your body is responding to you. All you can do is watch the young boy with widened eyes.

He struggles, letting out a few whines and groans before eventually giving up. He just lets his head sink down, body heaving from exhaustion.

“Are you just going to watch me struggle or help me?”, he speaks up, his voice unusually deep considering he looks so young. You shake your head, coming out of your trance before looking at his face, which was now turned to you. “And it’s rude to stare at someone’s tail, you know?”

You raise your eyebrows at him, not believing the situation that’s happening to you. Is a fish really talking to you? Well, maybe half fish. While his lower body is a fish tail, his upper body still looks human.

“So, you’re just going to let me die?”, he scoffs, rolling his eyes at you. “Great, this is not how I imagined my last day alive to be.”

“Die?”, you ask, voice breaking as you speak.

“Yeah, die. Like heart stopping. Lungs not breathing in air. That kind of dying.” You can hear him sigh, probably thinking you are dense by the way you are still staring at him. “If I don’t get into the water soon, I’ll be dead. So, please. As shocked as you are to see a merman, just help me get into the water.”

“You’re a merman?” You didn’t mean to raise your voice so high, but the absurdness of the situation isn’t making it easy for you and your brain to process.

“No, I’m a dinosaur. I’m just shapeshifting right now. Of course, I’m a merman. Why else would I have a god damn tail?” He sounds on edge, like he’s losing his patience with you.

You stand up again, walking over to him. “I will help you. Under one condition.” He sighs, signaling you to continue with whatever you are about to say. He already knows it can’t be anything good, but anything’s better than dying.

“If I help you, you have to tell me more about you and you merman life.” The boy lowers his head again, thinking about your condition.

“Okay. I’ll tell you more about me. But please help me now, I feel like I will pass out in any second.”

Taking both his hands in yours, you pull the boy towards the water. It takes you a few minutes and several tries before you’re both in the water. The water stops right above your navel. The boy swims around you, feeling strength fill up his body again.

You watch him for a while, mesmerized by the fluent movements of his body. He looks so surreal as his silver tail shines brightly whenever he dives down into the water, splashing water onto you every now and then. But you couldn’t care less. All you are interested in is witnessing a miracle, a wonder, something straight out of a movie. For a second time that day, you think it is all a dream. Surely, this can’t be reality. Mermen are just fairytales. Something made up by seaman back in the day to scare people away from the ocean. You once heard that the merpeople are ugly creatures, scales covering their body and a smile that could kill you on the spot. But looking at the boy in front of you, you realize that the stories told in your village aren’t true. Merpeople aren’t disgusting sea monsters who look like something straight out of a horror movie. The opposite, to be exact. The boy looks like art, like he belongs to a museum.

His face is sharp, with high cheekbones and a defined jawline. His eyes are big, representing those of a puppy. And his plump lips are colored like a peach, matching his skin tone perfectly. The messy black hair covers most of his eyes, but every now and then when he comes up from the water you can get a glimpse of the brown orbs.

“Hey!”, you exclaim as you see him swim further away from you. “We had a deal.”

“I know.”, he says, looking over his shoulder to meet your gaze. “Meet me tomorrow at the rocks right there.” You follow where he’s pointing at, seeing the big rocks not so far from where you are standing in the ocean. “At 11 pm. Don’t be late.”

“But my parents won’t allow me to be here at 11.”, you try to say, but he’s already swimming away. Not caring about a word you said afterwards.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You can’t believe you’re actually doing this. It’s not like you. Never in your life have you sneaked out, not even when Mark tried to force you three weeks ago. When he was going out with the popular students at your school. Your parents raised you to be well-behaved, to listen to them. They have rules in your household and one of them is your strict curfew. You can’t go out after 8 pm, and that’s still understandable considering you’re thirteen. But this rule sticks until you’re sixteen. You have to go home at 8 every day until you’re sixteen. You can already imagine the teenager fights you will have with your parents.

But up until now you have never broken that rule. Not once in your life. That was until you met the mysterious boy.

The sand feels cool under your feet, causing goosebumps to form on your skin. Even though it’s summer, the air feels cold so far away from the town. You still feel the warmth of the sun as you climb up the rock, trying to get to the top. As you climb you wonder if this is a good idea. You don’t know if you can trust this strange boy with the silver tail, or if his intentions are to harm you. You don’t know where he comes from or why he was stranded on the shore. All of this could lead to you ending up like all these fishers, lost and never found again. But still, your curiosity got the best of you. Humans were always intrigued by the unknown.

Arriving on top of the rock, you can already see a silhouette sitting at the edge of it, leaning back on their arms with their face tilting up into the sky.

“The stars are shining so bright tonight.”, you hear the familiar voice speaking. You walk closer to the figure, soon seeing the silver tail dangling at the edge of the rock, getting splashed with the water that crashes against it. It reflects in the moon light, causing it to look like small little crystals. “Haven’t I told you it’s rude to stare at someone’s tail?”

“Sorry.”, you respond, adverting your gaze and looking right into the boy’s face. A smile adores his lips, his head croaked to the side as if he’s mocking you.

“Come here, sit down.” With slow steps you follow his instruction, sitting down beside the boy, letting your feet dangle down. “I didn’t think you would actually come.”

You shrug your shoulders, looking down at your hands that nervously fidget. “We had a deal.”

A laugh leaves his lips, and you swear in that moment, you’ve never heard a prettier sound in your entire life. It’s almost like everything about him is perfect. “You’re adorable.” Blush creeps up your cheeks upon his comment, never being called that before.

“It’s so fascinating.”, he says, placing his cold hand to your chin and lifting your face so that you’re forced to look at him. His other hand takes place on your cheek, letting his thumb run over the heated skin. “How blood rushes into humans’ cheeks when they get flustered. I heard about it, but I never witnessed it myself.” He leans closer, eyes scanning your face. His scent takes up all your scenes. The salt of the water on his skin and the hint of something sweet. Vanilla? “I’ve never been this close to a human before.”

You take a shaky breath, trying to calm down your fast beating heart. “I’ve never been this close to a merman before.”, you remark, voice coming out as a whisper.

He lets out a small laugh, leaning back again, placing his hands back on the rock. “You didn’t even know I existed until yesterday.”

“That’s true.”, you nod, pulling your knees up on your chest so you can rest your head on them. “But I know now.”

“Yes, you know now.” There is something lingering in his voice. Like a hidden meaning behind his words, but you don’t know what it could be. “What do you want to know?”

“Are there more of you?”

“Yes.”, he nods. “A whole town, but we’re far down in the water. No human could ever find us. Even if they tried, they wouldn’t make it. And if by some weird accident a human does make it into our town, they will be taken care of by our guards.”

“What does your town look like.”

“It’s colorful. Corals allowed us centuries ago to use them as homes under the condition that we take good care of them. They give the town the prettiest colors. We also use a lot of shells, big shells, to decorate around the town.”, he stops for a few seconds, thinking about how he can explain it to you. “It’s nothing like your little human town. It is a kingdom, and it looks like that. Tall columns surround our castle and there are sharks, dolphins, and seahorses swimming around at all times. Most of them guard us, others are our friends. The castle itself is mostly built from bricks and stones we found back then, to make it as stable as possible. It’s large, larger than your town with thousands of fish swirling inside. We also use ship wracks as a warehouse for our belongings.”

“Are there a lot of sea people living in the kingdom?”

He snorts at the choice of your words, looking at you with amusement glinting in his eyes. “Sea people. That’s a funny way to describe us. But yeah, a lot of sea people live there. I can’t tell you any numbers, but it’s a lot.”

You nod, trying to picture what it must look like where he comes from. It must be beautiful, breathtaking. And a part of you wishes you could go with him to see it for yourself.

“If there is a kingdom, you must have a king and a queen.”, you remark, looking at him curiously.

“A king and three princes. You’re talking to one of them right now.”

A gasp leaves your lips, louder than you had  expected it to be. “You’re the prince?” He nods at your question, showing you a charming smile. And you see it, as you’re looking at him for longer. It’s what you see in movies. The charming smile, the confident posture, the cocky attitude. “Oh god, it makes so much sense now.”

“What makes sense?”

“That you’re a prince. You’re too cocky for your own good that can only come from being treated like royalty.” He lets out another laugh, loving how honest you are. “Like come on what kind of mermen voluntarily meets up with a potentially dangerous human? Only a prince who’s already confident by being praised every day.”

“Dangerous? You are far from being dangerous.”, humor laces his voice, but all you do is glare at the young boy.

“How do you know? What if I end up kidnapping you? You should feel scared.”

“Don’t get me wrong.”, he says, turning his body so he’s facing you. The boy leans down his face, his nose almost touching yours. “I was terrified at first. When I saw you, I thought that I was captured by humans and that it will be my last day alive, but then you froze up like a glacier and I knew you were as shocked to see me as I was to see you.” One of his hands graces your cheek again, feeling the heat return yet again. “And then earlier I saw the way you react to me. The heated cheeks, the goosebumps on your skin and I knew, you aren’t danger.” Leaning back again, the boy shows you a satisfied grin. “And anyway, you couldn’t even fight me if you tried to. You’re just a little girl.”

“Little girl?”, you let out outraged. “I’m thirteen.”

“And I’m fifteen. Two years’ worth of more experience, in any department.” You just roll your eyes, folding your arms and looking back into the ocean with a scowl. Little girl, as if you were a little girl. Just because he’s older and stronger build doesn’t mean you couldn’t easily fight him. “But you’re my brothers age.”

Your scowl disappears and you look back at him. “You have a brother?”

He smiles again as he sees your face, scooting a bit closer again, but just to rest his shoulder against yours. “I have two. Fourteen and thirteen and go on my nerves every single day.”

“I wish I had brothers.”, you tell him with a pout on your lips. “Any sibling would be cool. I was always alone. I had to play alone, eat alone. It got so bad to the point where I created imaginary friends and would talk to them all day long.” You chuckle at the memories of three-year-old you. It’s hard to believe at what a young age you can feel loneliness so present. “That was until Mark came into my life.”

“Mark.”, he repeats the name. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Mark? No, he’s my best friend. We’ve been friends for almost ten years now.” You smile as you talk about much, showing the value you feel for your friendship.

“So, you don’t have a boyfriend? Any boy that you’re interested in?”, he asks, making your cheeks turn into a slight shade of pink again.

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend. But there is a guy I like. His name is Jaemin, but he is…”, you stop yourself, shrugging as you don’t know how to describe Jaemin. He is the nicest boy you’ve met. With a kind smile and an even kinder personality. But he’s also popular, a bit too popular for your liking.

“He is?”, the boy in front of you asks, persistently wanting to know about Jaemin.

“He is just Jaemin. A lot of girls have a crush on him. I don’t think I have a chance.”, you shrug another time, trying to hide the hurt you feel.

“Then don’t try.”

“What?”, you exclaim, looking at the boy with confusion. “Why?”

“I don’t know.”, he admits. “Just don’t try.” But before you can say anything, the boy sits up abruptly. Every bit of comfort that was in his body drained within seconds. He looks down at the ocean, with wide eyes and you swear you can see his chest raising and falling faster. In front of you isn’t the carefree, confident boy you spent your night with. Suddenly he is tense, his eyes hardened. You look down as well, trying to see what he’s seeing in the ocean. But all you see is blackness.

“I have to go.”, he says, already making an effort to climb down the rock.

“What why?”, you ask, not wanting him to leave yet.

“I have to go. My father is searching for me, and he can’t find out I’m here. Meet me tomorrow at the same time, okay?”

But before you can answer he is gone within the ocean. Leaving you alone in the cold, dark night with your thoughts spiraling in your head.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Looking at him now, you don’t see the little boy he once was. This is not the carefree, cocky little prince. This is a man. His features matured, showing the years you haven’t seen. His body changed as well. Muscles spread around the smooth skin. His tail a slightly darker shade of silver, but still shimmering and shining under the moonlight. Jenos’ hair still has the same color, black like the night sky, but it’s longer and messier. But what changed the most are his eyes. The big brown eyes turned smaller, almost like he’s in a constant scowl, keeping tension in his forehead. They don’t spread warmth and comfort anymore. They are cold and emotionless.

“What are you doing here?”, he asks. His voice far from sounding friendly.

“I came back.”, you answer him, hope gleaming in your eyes.

“Why would you do that?”, he averts his gaze, looking into the ocean and away from you like he’s ashamed to be talking to you.

“Why? Because I wanted to. I missed this town.” It’s only half the truth, but you don’t want to scare him away. It’s been five years since you saw each other and the last thing you want is to make him leave again. You want to enjoy this moment for as long as he allows you to.

“Tell me the truth. I know you’re not telling me everything.” Without even looking at you, he can sense that your answer isn’t all you wanted to say. But it doesn’t surprise you. Jeno knows how to read people. He watched them for such a long time to be able to understand their body language or the sound of voice perfectly.

“I came back because I wanted to see you again.” He scoffs at that, and you can see him lowering his head. You wish you could see him right now. See the emotions on his face, but he keeps his back turned to you.

“Five years, Y/N. I waited five years for you to come here and say this.”, he turns around to you, face empty of emotions. “I waited every single day for you to come back, but you never did. I waited and waited, but not once did you show up.” He shakes his head, letting little water droplets fall to the ground. “I thought you were dead. For three years I thought something happened and you died. I had to live with that thought because what could I have done? Grow a pair of legs and ask the people in the town about you?”

Tears fill his eyes, but he blinks them away, not wanting to let you see how much this hurts him. “It was until one night they threw a party here. Underaged high school students taking over the beach with their cheap beers and loud music. A crying Mark was here getting comforted by Jaemin. They sat here, at this exact spot. They sat on our rock. Mark kept on talking about how much he misses you and how he wished you were here. And Jaemin told him that you are probably happy where you are. I thought that my theory got confirmed and I wanted to leave to mourn for you, but that was until Mark spoke up again. He said that it’s unfair that you had to move away and leave him here alone, but that he hopes you are happy in the new town. And that you find a better best friend than him. One that doesn’t suddenly ignore all your calls just because something tragic has happened in his life.” Jeno stops for a second, taking a big breath. “You never told me you were moving. You never told me you were actually leaving me and never coming back, Y/n. But still, I waited here. Every single day I waited because I hoped you would come back one day and miss me as much as I missed you. Why didn’t you just tell me? Why couldn’t you just let me let you go?”

Tears stream down your face as you listen to how his voice cracks with all the emotions he’s been holding back. “Because you told me to never talk to you again.”

He scoffs, wiping away the salty tears on his face. “I never thought you would listen to me. You never did before that.”

“But you sounded so sincere. I thought you didn’t want me in your life.”

He shakes his head again, eyes finding yours. “I can’t live a life where you aren’t in it, Y/n.” Speechless by his sudden confession, you just stare at him. A million thoughts in your head, but not one forming into a sentence.

“Has Mark ever told you why he was crying that night?”, he asks after a few seconds of silence. You shake your head, raising your hand and wiping away your own tears.

“You should talk to him.”, Jeno says, voice laced with sympathy. “Ask him about his dad.”

“His dad? What happened?”, you croak out.

“It’s not my place to tell you, but all I know is that he needs you. Even two years later, he still needs you.”

“But what about us?” Jeno shakes his head, signaling you not to speak.

“It’s okay. We have time. Mark needs you more now.” And for the first time since you saw each other again, he shows you a smile. A small one, which you almost didn’t notice. “Meet me here tomorrow at the same time and we can talk about everything, okay?”

You just nod, not knowing what to do add. Jeno turns around again. After glancing one last time at you, he lets himself fall into the water. Leaving you in the dark, cold night yet again.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Mark sounded tired when he answered the phone, but you didn’t care. You needed to talk to him now and find out what Jeno meant.

Now you sit on his bed, thinking about a way to speak to Mark. You don’t know what happened to his dad or why Mark didn’t tell you about it, but you also don’t want to assume the worst. Maybe Mark just forgot to tell you, considering it hasn’t been long since you’re back.

“Okay, what’s up?”, he asks after a while, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “You didn’t call me at 3 am just to sit here and not say anything.”

You sigh, turning towards Mark. His hair is a mess, sticking out in every direction. He dyed it blonde a few days ago, talking about wanting change in his life. And you have to admit that this hair color really suits him. Especially since he’s also been growing his hair out a bit. There are obvious eye bags under his eye, showing the lack of sleep he’s been getting. You don’t really know why. Maybe something has been keeping him awake lately. You feel bad for waking him up, but you couldn’t wait until the next day. Jeno’s words not leaving your head.

“Mark, you’re my best friend and I just want you to know that if anything’s wrong, you can always talk to me.”, you start, looking him directly in the eyes. And you think Mark knows what’s about to come. You can see it in his eyes.  

“You know?”, he asks, voice wavering a bit. You just slightly nod, scooting closer to him to take his hands in yours. “I wanted to tell you, I swear. When it happened, all I wanted to do was call you and tell you about it, but I couldn’t. You started a new life, and I didn’t want to take that away from you, or make you feel bad for it. And when you came back, all I wanted to do was spend my time with you. Make up for all the time we lost. I didn’t want to bother you with my problems, I just wanted back what we once had when we were kids. A carefree friendship.”

You feel so much in this situation. Sympathy, regret, sadness, grief, hope. But on top of it all, you feel proud. Mark had to go through all of this. Not alone, since he had his mother and Jaemin, but he still had to endure the pain of losing a very important person in his life. And instead of being selfish and calling you when he needed you, he decided not to. Just to make you have a carefree life. Just so you don’t have to worry about it. Mark is the most selfless person you know. And you are proud to call him your friend.

“Mark, you should’ve called me. No matter where I am in the world, I would always choose you. I would drop everything I’m doing just to see you. And I know it’s not what you want, but it’s what you deserve.” Mark wipes away a stray tear sliding down his cheek with one hand, squeezing your hand with the other. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It was a stupid car accident.”, he starts, tears filling his eyes as he remembers the incident. But you know he needs this, so you hold his hand tighter and give him all your attention. Because you need it too, even if you’re not aware of it. And for the rest of the night, you talk about everything you missed in the past few years.

Five years ago

The breeze in your hair feels different, colder, and sharper than before. The waves are louder, crashing against the shore as if a storm is about to begin. You don’t know what the weird feeling in your belly means. If it’s just the nerves about seeing Jeno, or something deeper, something you should be worried about.

Jeno is late, which is a first. In the three weeks you’ve been hanging out, he was always here before you, but this time is different. This time you are the one to sit on the icy rock, shivering from the wind as you wait for him to arrive. You brought a book, one of your favorites. Jeno loves it when you read to him, finding it oddly comforting. He finds it fascinating how humans can come up with such bizarre stories, planning them out to an extent, and making money off them. But he doesn’t complain, he wants you to read to him every night.

“You’re late.”, you say as he climbs up the rock, his body dripping from the salty water. Even though the two of you met up a bunch of times now, you’re still in awe every time you see him. Jeno knows that and he’s been taking advantage of it more than you like.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer.”, he teases with his signature grin. Eyes disappearing into small half-moons.

“You’re so funny, Jeno.”, you say, rolling your eyes at him. “Don’t distract from the subject. You’re late. Hasn’t anyone told you that it’s rude to stand up a woman?”

“First of all,”, he begins speaking, brushing the wet hair out of his face. “I didn’t stand you up, I’m here now. And second, you’re hardly a woman.”

A gasp leaves your lips, punching his arm slightly. “You’re being mean again. You know I can just leave.”

“No!”, he exclaims, grabbing your wrist to prevent you from standing up. “Don’t leave, please.” His eyes are wide, filled with panic. And for a moment everything is silent. You look down at his hand and tight grip he has on you, wondering what has gotten into him.

“I was just joking.”, you say, trying to calm him down. “Are you okay? What was that reaction?”

He blows out the air he’s been holding and let’s go of your wrist. “Sorry. I don’t know what just happened. I just thought you would actually leave before we could spend time together. Before you could read to me.”

You nod, not convinced by his statement, but trying not to overthink it too much. “Do you want me to start reading now?” He nods at that, turning his body so he can see you better. “This is actually a poem book. I got it from the old thrift shop two years ago. I will read you one that I really like. It’s called ‘Deep Ocean Blues’ and is by an anonymous writer.”

“In the depth Of her lonely ocean blues Neither lost nor found at sea, She buried her dreams Deeper than she could reach And she made herself a humble home Tucked underneath the ocean floor

She found the familiar In the darkness of the water Like a magnificent storm Blue almost black almost gone — Hazy memories floating Reminding her Of what she could’ve been Now crushed and washed away

The more time she spent there The more she began to crave, The weight of water Crashing onto her skin Vast dark space holding her close Like her old dear friend Did way back when

Loneliness He welcomed her back Every time she swam in — He’d play her an old blues song Deep muddy waters Just for her Melancholy fanfare To keep her hypnotized

Mesmerized By the sound of his ocean song, She knew loneliness And treacherous waters Could always find her here Dancing with solace Right on the ocean floor”

Jeno hangs on to every word you read, mesmerized by the words and the meaning behind them. He swears that no other book tops this form of writing. He heard about poems before from visitors at the beach, but he’s never got to actually hear one himself. But he understands the popularity of them. It’s so different from what you’ve read before. It is unique and beautiful.

“Did you like it?”, you ask, looking up from the book. Jeno nods at you with glossy eyes. As you see that, you scoot closer to him, leaving the book lying on the rock as you gently place a hand on top of his. “Everything okay?”

He shakes his head frustrated by this situation, frustrated by what he has to do. Jeno tries to keep his emotions down, to not show you what this is doing to him, but he’s failing. He’s failing miserably and it only makes it harder for him.

“I’m so sorry.”, he whispers, small tears rolling down his face. You reach up, wiping each one away. “This is the last time we will see each other.”

You pause, your hand falling into your lap. “What?”

“I’m so sorry, I wish this could be different. I wish I could sit here forever with you and have you read to me, but this has to end. For your sake and for mine.”

“But why?” The sadness in your eyes destroys him. Jeno knows this sight will haunt him for as long as he lives, but he has to do it. If his father and all the residents of his town find out what he’s doing every night, they will come for him. And you probably as well. They will find a way, he knows that. Nothing is more important than to hide from the human world, to not expose the secret they’ve been keeping for centuries.

“Don’t ever talk to me again. Don’t come here anymore. Please just leave and forget about me.”

“Forget about you?”, you raise your voice, outraged by his proposition. “How do you expect me to forget about you?”

Jeno rubs his temples. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t think he would feel his heart break into a million pieces. “Please do me this one favor. Leave. Don’t search for me again because I won’t be here.”

Jeno leaves over, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. So soft that if you hadn’t smelled the salty scent of his skin, you would not have felt it. “Goodbye, Y/n.”

“No.” You try to reach him, but he’s faster, dodging your hand. “Don’t leave me, Jeno. Please. You can’t leave me.” Tears stream down your face, blurring your vision. You furiously wipe them away to see again. But as you open your eyes, Jeno is gone. Vanished. Like he was never there in the first place.

For the next two weeks you showed up at the same place, hoping to find Jeno again. But he was never there. He kept his promise of not coming again, but you never lost hope. You told your parents about it, hoping they would believe you. But they didn’t. They told you to stop being childish and imagine stuff. Even Mark laughed at you, telling you that he loves your imagination.

And after those two weeks, you started to doubt it yourself. Maybe you did imagine Jeno after all. But it all felt so real. Every lingering touch, every conversation. It all felt real.

Hope became your best friend that day.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jeno doesn’t know what to feel as he makes his way back home with slow swings of his fin. Is he supposed to feel happy? Relieved? Angry? Betrayed? Is it possible to feel all those emotions at once?

When he saw you again after such a long time, he wanted to wrap you in his arms and make sure you would never leave him again. But at the same time, he wanted to scream at you, get all the pent-up frustration and pain out. Jeno wanted you to feel what he felt over the past five years.

Because he did suffer.

At first, he was in shock. Shock of what he said to you, of how he left you. Jeno couldn’t believe he actually sent you away and told you to not ever talk to him again. He didn’t realize what that actually meant to him. Never in his fifteen years of life has he spoken to a person in this way before, always choosing to be nice and gentle, even teasing, and cocky sometimes – though that side mostly came out when he was spending time with you. He couldn’t believe it and he didn’t want to.

After that came denial. He thought that if he just told himself over and over again that it didn’t happen his brain would eventually believe him. If he just suppressed his thoughts about you, he would eventually forget about you. If he just stopped visiting those rocks, he would not long for you anymore. But that never happened. Jeno found himself coming back to the place after waiting two weeks. Every single night, he came back.  He waited in the water, looking out for you, but you never showed up.

The next phase was the worst. Anger. Neither Jeno, nor any other person in his life could recognize him at that time. He started lashing out more, destroying small things that once had meaning to him. Everyone got worried because they couldn’t believe that this was the once so kind prince. Especially his brothers. They tried many times to talk to him, get him to open up to them, but they failed every single time. Even though one brother knew more than the other.

Bargain. Jeno doesn’t like to remember this time. He felt pathetic, weak, pitiable. He was making promises every day to himself, trying to convince himself that he could fix this. That he could fix the two of you. Jeno tried to negotiate with whatever higher power there was to help him get you back, but nothing happened. Nothing helped and nothing changed.

Next up, Jeno was sad. Humans would say he had symptoms of depression. Nothing could make him smile, not even his brothers who normally light up his day just with their presence. Jeno didn’t want to swim around the town to help the people or discuss plans for expansion with his father. All he wanted was to be with you. To sit on your rock, talk about everything and nothing and hold your hand once again. Jeno never thought he would miss someone’s touch so much. Worse enough that he never saw you around again. Not at the beach with Mark nor at any other town event that he could get a glimpse of. It was like you had vanished or maybe something worse.

Lastly, the upward turn. The feeling you get right after the depression lifts. After he overheard the conversation Mark had with Jaemin, Jeno felt relaxed knowing nothing happened to you. Part of him was sad that he would never see you again, but the other part was happy for you. All he ever wanted for you was to live the life you sought, to be happy and carefree. Jeno started to slowly become who he once was again. He spent more time with the people in his town, his brothers and his best friend, Aiya. He felt like he could start over again. Begin a new life, a life that sadly doesn’t involve you.

Acceptance never came. Jeno still lays in bed sometimes, thinking about you and everything he could have done differently. He wonders if you miss him as much as he misses you. If you feel the same longing that he feels. The longing to hear your voice again, touch your skin, and feel the weird swirling in his belly. He fantasizes about you waiting for him on the rock, your beautiful smile welcoming him. He thinks about it so often that when it actually happened, he couldn’t believe his eyes. There you sit, with a beautiful dress on. Your hair gently swaying in the night breeze. Jeno thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, that he was officially losing it. But then he heard your voice, the melody to his song. You talked to him for a few minutes, not knowing he could hear you. And he wanted to say something. He wanted to go up and talk to you, confess how much he missed you, but he couldn’t. It was like he was frozen.

And for the next few nights, the same routine continued. You talked to him, while he just listened to you. And then you were gone again. You didn’t show up and he thought that yet again he messed up. He thought that if he had just sucked up the courage to talk to you, you wouldn’t have left again. But when you showed up again the next day, he knew he had to take this opportunity. He had to talk to you. And that’s what he did.

“I swear if I find him, he’s going to get the lecture of his life.”, Jeno hears a familiar voice mumble not far away from him. A smirk appears on his lips, as he gets an idea. He swims behind a coral, waiting for the voice to come closer before jumping out.

“Talking about me?”, he says, watching the orange clownfish gasp in shock. A laugh bubbles out Jenos’s throat at the shocked expression on the fishes’ face.

“You scared the living bubble out of me.”, she exclaims, frowning at the merman in front of her. Jeno can’t help but let out an even louder laugh, loving the reaction he’s getting. “You think that’s funny?”

“I’m sorry, Aiya.”, Jeno mumbles between chuckles. “You just looked so cute. The way you got shocked.” His best friend rolls her eyes, letting out a huff of annoyance. Jeno knows that calling a fish his best friend might sound weird to some people, but to him it is the most normal thing ever. He grew up with Aiya, always having her around. They went through thick and thin together and he seriously couldn’t imagine a life without her in it.

“You’re lucky I’m the one who found you.”, she says, swimming around the merman. “The king is searching for you and if your brothers would have found you, then-“

“Then what?”, before Aiya could finish her sentence, she gets interrupted by another voice. Turning around, Jeno is faced with the presence of two mermen. To be exact, the probably most important mermen in his life.

“Chenle.”, Jeno calls the name of his brother with a smile. “Nice to see you. And you too Jisung. You got a haircut?” The said boy shows his brother a sheepish smile, nodding his head excitedly.

“Don’t try to distract from the obvious right now.” Not once in his life could Jeno fool Chenle. Chenle has always been attentive, watching Jenos’ every move. It was different with Jisung. The clumsy boy had to put his constant focus on not breaking things or getting caught into an underwater swirl.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This lame excuse even makes Aiya let out a frustrated sigh. Jeno was never good at lying or hiding anything. Especially not from those close to him. He is an open book, always eager to share the exciting things in his life. So, when he first met you, he almost couldn’t contain himself. He wanted to tell the whole world about you, but he couldn’t.

“Is it about the girl?”, Chenle asks, eyeing his brother suspiciously. In this moment Jeno wished he wasn’t so transparent. He could just deny it, move on and never let the others know, but his hesitation already calls him out. “So, it is.”

“What girl?”, Jisung asks, titling his head to the side. You can almost see the question mark appearing on top of his head.

“Jeno met a girl five years ago. A human girl. He hung out with her for a couple of weeks but sent her away so that dad couldn’t find out about her.”, Chenle explains to his brother, earning a shocked look.

“That’s why dad was so suspicious of Jenos’ whereabouts back then and Jeno was depressed for such a long time.” Chenle nods, looking back at Jeno who nervously bites his lower lip.

“Is she back?” This time another voice speaks up. It’s Aiya who asks the question. He can see the worry in her eyes. Everyone knows what that means. They know what danger comes with interacting with humans. But they also know what happened to Jeno last time.

“She is.”, Jeno confirms, lowering his gaze to the ground.

“What are you going to do?” That’s a question Jeno doesn’t know how to answer. He doesn’t know what he will do, what he wants to do. If he wants to part ways with you again considering your different lives. Or if he wants to be selfish and see you every night like you did five years ago. If he wants to follow his feelings and let himself fall even harder than before.

“I don’t know.”, he answers honestly, earing sympathetic gazes from the three around him.

“It’s okay.”, Jisung speaks up, having all eyes focus on the younger boy. “You don’t have to know right now. Sleep a night over it and then follow whatever your heart desires most.” The young lays his hand on his older brother’s shoulder. “You’ve always been a person I looked up to. Do you know why? Because you make the decisions that work best for everyone. You always know what to do, even in the most difficult situations. Even in situations that would make most people insane over. You will figure this one out as well. I know you will.”

Jeno feels his heart clench, never having heard such sweet words from his younger brothers’ mouth before. “We should go.”, Chenle utters. “Before dad sends out a search petrol for all of us.”

Beginning to swim in the direction of the castle, Jeno catches up with the small clown fish, who swims unusually fast. “Are you in a hurry or why are you racing back home?”, he asks.

“No.”, Aiya answers a bit too fast. “I’m not in a hurry. I’m swimming normal. The way I always swim.”

“Is it because of Jungwon?” Upon hearing the name, the fish stops for a second, before presuming to swim as if nothing happened.

“Jungwon? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jungwon, another clown fish, just moved into a coral in your kingdom with his family, having been lost in the sea for a long time. Your dad welcomed them with open arms, offering them a home to stay in permanently. Aiya and him got along almost immediately, striking up conversations whenever they could, leaving lingering gazes whenever the other one wasn’t watching. Only a fool wouldn’t notice the obviousness of the situation. That fool is Aiya.

“You’re meeting him again today?” Jeno watches his best friend’s reaction closer, trying to read her expression, but she’s not letting anything show. She just continues to swim, ignoring Jeno completely. “Well, I just want to tell you I’m happy for you. Jungwon seems very nice. I hope that whatever the two of you have turns into something beautiful.”

Leaving it like that, Jeno enters the kingdom, waving at the other mermen and mermaids, showing smiles to the fish and sharks. He enters the castle, swimming up to where his fathers’ throne was.

“Before you go.”, Chenle stops him. “Be nice, okay? Father is on edge today.” Jeno nods, slightly worried about that knowledge. But he doesn’t let that face him.

“Jeno.”, his father speaks up with his loud voice, sitting up to be able to look at his oldest son better. A big scepter in his hand and a crown on his head. As long as Jeno can remember his dad has always had white long hair and a white beard, making him look less intimidating. “You kept me waiting.”

“I’m sorry father. I was out helping the villagers.” His father nods shortly, motioning him to come closer, which he does.

“Jeno, what I’m telling you now is something that will stay between the two of us. Don’t tell it your brothers or your little fish friend, you got me?” Jeno shakes his head in agreement, heart already beating faster at what is about to come. “I’m getting old. I can feel my bones weakening and while it’s not my time to go yet, I can’t rule a kingdom like this. You are twenty now. You’re old enough to become a king.”

“What are you saying?”, Jeno stutters out, eyes wide in pure shock.

“What I’m saying is that in two weeks I’m stepping down from my position as king and I will crown you as the next king. I trained you for this your whole life, and I think it’s time.” Jeno doesn’t know what to say, overwhelmed by everything he just heard. “I will get everything ready. Tomorrow will start the preparation, so let’s meet again after breakfast.”

All Jeno can do is nod, before turning around and leaving the room. He realizes he has two weeks left. Two weeks until he will be king. Two weeks until he has to make a decision about the two of you.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You’ve never been this nervous in your whole life. Not when you had to hold a presentation in front of 100 students or when you were seven and your mom made you read the poem you wrote out loud to your whole family. Nothing compares to how you feel when you climb up the rock and see Jeno sitting here. For a while you just watch him. You watch his back glittering from the salt on his skin under the moonlight. You listen to the splashing sound his tail makes as the waves of the ocean crash against it. You prepare yourself for what is about to come, fearing that this might take a turn you don’t want it to.

“You’re so beautiful.”, is the first thing you say to him. And you could slap yourself in the face for such a cringey sentence. Jeno just chuckles, turning his body so he faces you.

“What a nice greeting. I could get used to that.” He holds out his hand, gently guiding you to sit beside him. “You look beautiful as well, Y/n. But it’s no surprise, you’ve always been beautiful.” The familiar heat is rushing back into your cheeks before you can even stop it. No man has ever made you do that. Countless have tried, but only Jeno could make you blush like a little schoolgirl.

“I see you still have your way with words.” You keep your tone light, teasing. Not wanting to add on to the tension that still hangs in the air.

“That’s one thing that hasn’t changed.”, he says, a deeper meaning behind those words. He intertwines your fingers with his, tugging you a bit closer to him. Jeno knows he may be moving fast, but he has waited so long to be close to you again. He’s longing to feel you again, wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms again. You comply, scooting closer until your thigh touches his tail. It’s a weird, yet familiar feeling.

Jeno smiles at you, lifting his other hand to tug a lose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry for yesterday. When I saw you, all the emotions I held in started rushing out. I never should’ve let that out on you. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head gently, not wanting to hear an apology from him. “You don’t need to apologies for voicing your thoughts and emotions. I’m glad you did. If you hadn’t done it, I would have never known how much I meant to you.” You take a deep breath, tasting the salty air on your tongue. “Moving was the hardest thing I’ve had to do, because it meant I had to leave the things I love behind. My friends, my school, and you. Not one day has passed that I didn’t think about you. I never forgot about you, even though you told me to. I have to admit, I had a phase where I thought I imagined you. That I made you up because I was lonely, but I quickly realized that that’s stupid. I could have never imagined something as wonderful as you.” You watch a single tear drop fall down the boys’ face and you quickly raise your hand to wipe it away. “I’m sorry for leaving and I’m sorry for never telling you. If I could, I would redo everything, but since that’s not possible, let’s live in the here and now.”

Jenos’ smile gets even bigger, consuming his whole face and forming his eyes into little halfmoons. “Thank you for telling me that. I really needed to hear that.” You just shrug your shoulders, trying to play it off, but it’s not working. Jeno sees right through you. “Can I kiss you?”

The question comes unexpected, catching you off guard. Your mouth gets dry, and your head empties of any thoughts. It’s like your brain stopped working, unable to give commands to the rest of your body. The only thing you can do is nod. You can hear Jeno mumbling a small ‘cute’ but you don’t pay attention to that. Because the next thing you feel is Jenos’ hand on your cheek, leaning down until your noses are touching. He looks into your eyes one last time, before closing the remaining space and placing his lips on yours.

Fireworks light up in the sky. Sirens are heard all over the world. Suddenly you understand all those love songs. This feeling is worth writing a three-minute pop hit about.

Jeno kisses you with such gentleness as if you are porcelain and kissing you harder would break you into a million pieces. His lips are soft, slightly chapped but nevertheless soft. The hand on your cheek gently caresses your skin, making your heart skip a beat. Your hands are on his sides, touching the exposed skin. Jeno shudders a bit as you stroke his rib cage, swallowing a small groan that threatened to leave his lips. He pulls you even closer until you’re on your knees, chest touching his. He can’t get enough of the feeling of your lips, and neither can you. Enjoying every last bit of it until you eventually have to force yourselves apart to breath.

Jeno leaves a few gentle kisses on your cheek, making his way to your neck. He innocently places a kiss on the place where your neck meets your shoulder, giving it a few kitten licks, before lifting his head again to look at you. His eyes are small, pupils dilated, feeling as if he was high. Maybe he was high, and your kisses are his drugs.

“I never want to stop doing that.”, he says, his voice raspy and deeper than before. It sets a set of butterflies free in your belly.

“Me neither.”, you admit, still panting from the kiss. You let your head drop on his shoulder, smiling to yourself at what just happened. Jeno wraps and arm around your waist, also not being able to fight his own smile.

“How was your talk with Mark?”, Jeno asks after a while.

“It was okay.”, you answer with a sigh. “As okay as it can be. But we talked for a long time, and I think it brought us closer as well. So, I count it as a success.”

Jeno squeezes your waist, affirming that he’s glad to hear that. He knows how much Mark means to you. That’s why he’s genuinely happy you two could work it out.

Having Jeno so close while the waves form a gentle melody, you can feel your limps getting heavy and your eyes dropping every now and then. You can’t help the yawn that leaves your lips either, making Jeno chuckle.

“It’s time for you to go to bed.”, he says, but you just whine in responds. You don’t want to leave, loving this moment too much to let it go. “It’s okay, my love. We will see each other tomorrow again.”

“Promise?” You look up to him, searching his eyes for an honest answer, which he gives you with a small smile on his lips.

“I promise. Get home safe and sleep well. I will be here, waiting for you.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Dazed. That’s how you feel as two weeks pass by. Jeno and you have been meeting up every single night, talking to each other, playing games, and most importantly kissing. Most of your time together was spent kissing. You never leave without having your lips sore.

You feel like you’re floating on a cloud, tasting the sweetness of eternity. Those two weeks were the happiest you’ve ever been and that didn’t go unnoticed by your friends. Mark has been asking you questions about it nonstop, wanting to know who your secret boyfriend is. But you keep your mouth shut, telling him there is no secret boyfriend. Even though both of you know that’s a lie.

Currently helping Jaemin transport an order of flowers to his costumer, you notice how quiet he was. Jaemin has always been quiet, more reserved, but not like that. He would always talk to you, ask you about your day, but not today. Today he seems distant, deeply kept up by his thoughts.

“Are you okay?”, you decide to ask him, trying not to let the flowers in your hand fall to the ground. When Jaemin asked you to help him carry the flowers across the town, you hesitated. He never asked you for your help. But being the nice person you are, you eventually agreed. Now you at least have the nice sent of the freshly trimmed flowers right under your nose.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”, he says, seeming like he just got woken up by a daydream. You let out a chuckle at that, watching his slightly startled expression.

“You sure? You seem a bit off today.” Jaemin shakes his head, trying to find the right words. “But you don’t have to tell me.”, you add. “If you don’t want to talk about what’s going on, I totally accept that. But I’m always here if you need me.” The boy smiles at you, showing off his teeth. You’ve always loved how Jaemin smiled, so bright and full of joy. It’s what caught your attention first and what eventually made you fall for him.

“There is something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”, he starts, his voice raising a bit like he’s trying to build up the confidence to say whatever has been on his mind. You just nod, signaling him to continue.

“Ever since we’ve been children, I’ve had the biggest crush on you. I loved how kind you were to the people around you, how you never judged anyone, how you didn’t let stupid stereo types cloud your vision. You opened your arms to everyone without hesitating. That’s what amazed me about you. I loved how you could sing every song that played on the radio, how the moment you walked into a room the sun started to shine brighter, and how no matter what happened you always saw something positive in everything.” He smiles to himself, fond of those memories. “But I never felt good enough. I never felt like I was worthy to love you, worthy to have you. I thought I had to become a better human before I can even consider trying to be in your life.”

“You not enough?”, you ask, shock lacing your voice. “Jaemin you were more than enough. Every girl in school had a crush on you because you were the definition of perfect.”

You can see his cheeks turning into a light shade of red, but before you can comment on it, he speaks up again. “Don’t try to distract from what I want to say.” You hold up your hands in defeat, making a zipping motion over your mouth. “Before I could ask you out, you moved away, and I thought I would never see you again. I thought I would never have the chance to ask you out. But that was until you came back. All the emotions I thought were gone over the years came back with one look into your eyes.” He sighs, nervously running a hand through his hair. “I feel like I’m finally good enough for you, Y/n. So, will you go on a date with me?”

You stop walking, mouth agape and eyes wide. This is what your twelve-year-old you was waiting for. The Na Jaemin asking you out on a date. But instead of feeling ecstatic, jumping into the air and screaming your lungs out, you felt sorry. The minute you met Jeno you knew that what you felt for Jaemin wasn’t even close to what real love would feel. The small crush couldn’t compare to actual feelings. And it didn’t change. Your heart is still beating fast, but not for Jaemin anymore.

“Jaemin, god, I feel so stupid.”, you start saying, not knowing how to put your thoughts into words.

“There’s someone else, right?”, he asks, making you look up to him with wide eyes. “Mark told me about it. But he said that you told him there wasn’t anyone, so I thought I could try my luck. Apparently, luck isn’t on my side.”

“I’m so sorry.”, you start to apologies, but Jaemin just shakes his head, waving his hand in the air.

“Don’t apologies for your feelings, or the lack of those. It’s okay. I mean it sucks, but rejection is part of life.” He nods, trying to convince himself more than you.

You stand there, silence surrounding the two of you. Jaemin looks at you after a few seconds, a small smile on your lips. “Whoever he is, I hope he is treating you the way you deserve to be treated.”

You nod at his words, trying not to let the tear that’s threatening to leave your eye go.

“And if you ever find yourself in the situation where he isn’t there taking up all your thoughts, I’ll be waiting for you. Until you’re ready for me.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“Jaemin asked me on a date.”, you tell Jeno after you two laid down on the cold rock, watching the stars.

“Oh really?”, Jeno asks, not lifting his head from where it lays on your lap. You’ve been playing with his hair for almost ten minutes, enjoying the silky feeling of it between your fingers. Jeno has his eyes closed, basking in the closeness of you. The moment you stepped foot on your rock, he latched onto you. One body part always having to be connected to you in some way. You don’t want to complain, enjoying how openly clingy he is, but something inside of you has a weird feeling.

It’s been lingering in the air for a while now. Like both of you know something big will happen, but none of you want to address it. None of you want to face the obvious elephant in the room. It’s like you know that as soon as the words leave your mouth, it’ll change everything.

“What did you tell him?” The question leaves his lips in a whisper. One part of him fears he might hear you agreeing to the human boys’ proposition, but the other part wishes you would. It would make things easier for him, a lot easier.

“I told him I can’t.”, you say it as if you’re stating an obvious fact. But to Jeno it isn’t obvious. He doesn’t understand it. Why would you choose to stay with him? A merman who will never be able to give you the life you want. It’s not like he can grow a pair of legs and join you in your town. He has a tail, and his place somewhere else. He has responsibilities, such big ones that there is no way around them.

“You should go on a date with him.” As these words leave his mouth, the world stops turning for a second. The sounds stop, no more waves crashing against the shore, no more birds chirping in the sky. It’s quiet, just a dead dreadful silence.

“Why would you say that?”, you whisper, not trusting your voice. You tug softly on Jenos’ hair wanting him to open his eyes and look at you, but he refuses. He tightly squeezes his eyes together because he knows seeing your expression would kill him. Jeno saw it last time, your shoulders sinking, face drained of all color, and eyes filling with so much sadness. He can’t endure that another time, he can’t have your face haunt him again.

“Maybe it would be better.”, he tries to hide the shakiness of his voice, not wanting you to see how much this affects him. “You know since he’s human. He could give you the life you want, the life you deserve. I can’t give you that.”

“Jeno, what are you talking about? You are making no sense.”, you push him off your lap, not wanting him that close when he talks such nonsense.

“I’m making sense. Think of it in a logical way. If you dated Jaemin you could have everything you want. You can see him at all times, go into town with him, travel with him. You can marry and have a family. You can let people see you. You wouldn’t have to stay awake until five in the morning to talk to a creature with a tail. You wouldn’t have to hide away your feelings anymore.”

You scoff, looking at the boy with a frown. “Jeno, don’t you think I know all of this? Don’t you think I know it would be easier to date someone that was human. But I’m still here. Even though I know all this, I still come here every night. Because I want you and no one else, Jeno. Love isn’t defined by a pair of legs, by who knows about it and who not, or by how much someone has to give up. Love means sacrifices, compromises, and agreements. It’s communication, honesty, and trust. It’s what you feel, not what others tell you to feel.”

Jeno hides his face in his hands, fighting not to break down. He is so close to letting it all out. The tears, the frustration. He wishes things could be different, for you both to exist in a world where you could actually be with one another.

Tomorrow he will be king of the town he grew up in. He will have to face bigger responsibilities. Responsibilities that are bigger than love. And he wishes to have just one part of his body, even if it is just a blood vessel, that could be selfish. But he can’t be. This is bigger than him, bigger than you. He can’t risk meeting you anymore, exposing his world and bringing his people in danger.

“I can’t, Y/n.”, he whispers quietly.

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t love you. I want to, but I can’t.” His hands shake violently, fighting every part of his body that wants to show weakness. “I will be king tomorrow. And I can’t lead them to danger.”

“Danger?”, you ask. “But I’m not dangerous. Jeno, I would never do or say anything.”

“I know.”, he speaks with more force. “I know you wouldn’t, but just meeting up with you is dangerous. The potential of someone seeing us, it could bring death to my whole town. You have to understand that it’s just too dangerous.”

“The only thing that’s dangerous is the ocean itself.”, you remark, looking down at the water. “Especially this ocean. It’s cursed.”

“Cursed?” Jeno looks up at you, confusion written all over his face. “How could our ocean be dangerous? It is so beautiful and mesmerising. It would never hurt you unless you hurt it first.”

“Explain that to the people going missing every year. All those fishers that visit our town, fishers that have lived in my town long before I was born. They go out on the ocean and disappear mysteriously. No one wants to go far into the ocean, worried that they will disappear as well. We’re scared of the cursed sea and grieving for those who we lost.”, you explain to him, but the older boy just shakes his head violently.

“Those fishers you’re talking about are threatening our existence. They are not here to explore the sea, they hunt us. They kill our people and threaten to expose our secret, we must do something to protect ourselves.”

You feel devastated, hearing such words coming from the boy you thought was sweet and kind. Never did you think he would support killing your kind, even if it means protection to his own. Isn’t it all about peaceful living within each other? Isn’t it about harmony, not war? Because if you start a war, it’s not going to end. By killing those fishers, they only achieve the opposite of what they want. They draw attention to them, making even more people curious about the mystery of the ocean, of the curse. You can’t believe there is no curse.

“I grew up getting told to never enter the ocean around our town alone. To never go past my knees into the water. To be careful not to cross the protection line they drew for the once who go for a swim. I grew up afraid of what would happen once I got out there. Up until I was twelve, I couldn’t even come close to the shore, afraid of what might wait for me. Town people found ship recks, pairs of shoes and even necklaces of the people who went missing. Some even said they heard screams late at night, but when they went looking there was no one there.” When you look at Jeno there is no compassion in your eyes, remembering what growing up here meant for you. “Shortly before I moved away a little girl went missing. Two days later they found her hair clip washed up on the shore. What did that little girl do to you?”

“She saw my brother.”, Jeno whispers.

“She was nine years old.” Your voice is loud, filled with frustration and skepticism. “Even if she told anyone, no one would have believed her. The same way no one believed me when I told them about you. What would you have done about that? Kill me too?” Jeno stays silent, not daring to answer the sarcastic question you asked. It makes you stop breathing for a few seconds, shoulders sinking. “You wanted to kill me?”

“No.”, he answers. “Maybe. I don’t know. I was scared at first, okay? You saw me and you could have easily told all the fishermen. What if they sent an army down to our kingdom and all because I wasn’t careful?” There is an edge in his voice, like his breaking point is coming soon. “But when I saw you again that next day, I couldn’t bring myself to. You were just so small and harmless. You shined brighter than the stars and your eyes were filled with a curiosity I could only return. I was never that close to a human before, having just watched them from afar. I wanted to know more about you and then I fell in love. Hard and unconditionally. More than a fifteen-year-old should have.”

You shake your head, his words breaking your heart into a million pieces. “Maybe you’re right.” As Jeno previously, you press your lips together, hiding the sob that threatens to leave your lips. You don’t want him to see you cry. Not after everything you found out. “Maybe I should go on that date with Jaemin.”

When you look at Jeno after saying those words, you can see his heart breaking. His eyes gloss over and his whole body sinking into itself. But eventually he nods his head. “Yeah, you should.”

You shakily sigh, looking at the ocean in front of you, passed the horizon where the unknown lays. “So, that’s it?”, you ask him, silent tears streaming down both of your faces. “This is the end of us?”

Jeno clears his throat, wiping away the saltiness on his cheeks. He allows himself to have this moment. This one last moment with you, basking in the comfort of your presence. He allows himself one selfish moment with you just for a few more seconds. Jeno listens to your rapid breathing, enjoying the warmth your skin radiates even though you sit a few steps away from him. When he closes his eyes, he can still feel the roughness of your fingertips stroking his back, your lips engulfing his in a gentle kiss, and your weight on his body, feeling like a warm blanket. One last time, he thinks back to the gentle words you exchanged, the confessions you made, the secrets you shared. He treasures them in a box deep inside his heart, locking it away.

When all that is done, he opens his eyes again, turning his face to look into your waiting eyes. “That’s it. That’s the end.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

A broken heart. A metaphor for the intense emotional stress or pain one feels at experiencing great loss or deep longing. Mark told you that similar to death, there are five stages of heartbreak. Denial, bargain, depression, and acceptance. If you judged it yourself, you would say you’re in the depression stage. You want to be alone, sit in your tiny apartment and eat your sadness away with ice cream. You don’t want the boys to come around all the time, forcing you to go outside and get ‘a change of scene’. They think it helps you, but all it does is remind you of what you can’t have. You see couples roaming the streets, holding hands, and laughing with each other. You see their happiness and all you feel in envy. You want that, you want that so bad, but you can’t have that. Not with the one person you want to have it with.

“I can’t see this anymore.”, Mark speaks up after watching you poke around your favorite dish. The cherry pie. You can’t believe that a few weeks ago, the thought of this pie excited you so much that you couldn’t wait to wake up the next day and taste the sweet flavor on your tongue. But now you can’t stand the cake. The cake tastes bland, lost all its sweetness. Its taste resembles your emotions. “This is your favorite, and you can barely even look at it. You know, I thought bringing you hear would cheer you up, but clearly, I was wrong.”

Mark puts down the rag he used to clean the counter, taking off his apron and making his way to you. He sits down beside you, grabbing your hands and turning your face so you look right at him. “Listen to me. I know, you don’t want to talk about what happened and only a fool wouldn’t be able to see what is going on.” He sighs, trying to find the right words. “And as much as I want to find the person that made you feel this way and make them regret it, I also still remember how happy you were. You never shined as brightly as you did in the time that you spent with them. I could see how loved you felt, and as your best friend, I never wanted to see you differently again. But as your best friend, I also have to be honest with you. It can’t go on like this. You are hurting yourself even more with your behavior and I can’t keep watching you do that.”

You lower your gaze, knowing deep down that what your friend is saying is right. But you’re helpless. You don’t know what to do to change things. How to stop the pain you’re feeling. If you did, you would have done it by now. “I don’t know how to.”

Mark shows you a sympathetic smile, squeezing your hands gently. “That’s what I’m here for. Whenever you’re stuck and you need a helping hand, I’m here.” You nod at him teary eyed, appreciating having a friend like Mark in your life. “Either you move on, find a way to cope with it. Even move away again if you have to. Just for a while to get away from all the bad memories. Or you confront the person once more, talk it out and hopefully then make peace with the situation.”

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me.”, you tell Mark, sadness filling your eyes once again at the thought of Jeno.

“Then make him. If he loves you, the way I hope he does, he will listen to you. He will let you have this one last conversation so you can have peace.”

“You really think so?”, you ask him, hope gleaming in your words. Mark nods his head eagerly.

“Yes, I know so.”

“Thank you, Mark. Thank you for always being there for me, even when I act like a sulky baby.”

That makes Mark let out a chuckle, happy to at least see a glimpse of the normal you back. “That’s what best friends are here for, Sunshine.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The waves are calm at this time around. The sun having just set a few minutes ago, still tinting the sky in its beautiful colors. It’s almost like a scene out of a movie. And for the first time, you don’t feel scared of the ocean as you take place on the big rock. For the first time you appreciate the beauty of it, even though you know the truth about it.

“I don’t know if you’re here, Jeno. I don’t know if you can even hear me. But if you really love me, the way you told me, you will listen to me now. I want to have one more chance to talk to you again. I can’t leave you behind like this. I know that I will regret it and I know that you will regret it as well.” Silence, nothing but silence surrounds you. “I’m sorry for not showing sympathy for you and your people. I know that you just do what is right to protect yourself, but I still stand by my opinion that it’s not the right thing to do. I will never support those actions, but I’m trying to show more comprehension for your situation. I’m sorry for getting so emotional and not listening to you as I should have. I was stubborn, but so were you. I think that’s one thing we have in common. And I’m sorry for making it so hard for you to let me go. I understand now that whatever we have was doomed to end at some point. We are different, way too different to work out. I built this picture of us in my head. I lived in my own bubble and when that bubble burst, I didn’t want to accept that. I wanted to live a life where the two of us could be together, grow old together. And for a moment, it felt like that could happen. For a moment I was caught up in my own delusions, not wanting to let go. But I know now. I know that what you did was for the better and I’m not mad at you. You chose the right thing, and I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

You see the familiar silver shimmering of a tail appearing right above the surface of the water. This is your sign. You step out of the clothes you wear, a bikini underneath it. Climbing down the rock, you feel the warmth of the water meeting your cool skin. The water welcomes you, engulfing you like a warm blanket, coddling you to sleep. Jeno meets you in the water, wrapping his arms around you and nestling his head in your neck. He doesn’t say anything for a while, just enjoying having you close again.

“Thank you for telling me all that.”, he mumbles, head not moving an inch from where it’s buried. Lifting a hand, you gently play with the hair in his nape.

“It’s my pleasure, my king.” He scoffs at your words, but you can feel his smile against your skin. Jeno lifts his head, looking in your eyes once more. “I still don’t want to live a life where you aren’t in it.”

Your confession doesn’t budge his smile. Instead, he gently lifts his hand, tugging a wet strand of hair behind your ear. “I have a proposition for you. Becoming a king means that you can never be selfish. You have to give and give and give and accept that you rarely get anything back in return. You have to be selfless, caring about the wellbeing of your people. But every once in a while, we should be selfish. We should take what we want and take a risk.” You don’t know where he’s going with what he’s saying, not making any sense yet. “How about once a year we meet up. Right here on our rock. We talk, we spend the night together and then part ways again until the next year. In that way the risk will be lower, but we can still live a life that involves the other person.”

“And when shall that be?”, you ask him softly.

“May 24th.”, he answers, a knowing smile on his lips.

“The day we first met.”, you recall the distant memory. It lures a grin out of you, remembering how small you once were. How innocent and unknowing of how much this small encounter will change your lives. Jeno just nods, having the same small flashback as you do.

“Will I see you next year on the 24th?”, he asks, hope glinting in his eyes. And with the way he is looking at you, it’s hard to say no.

“I’ll be there.”, you promise him, leaning closer until your noses touch. “I won’t leave again.”

And for the last time the two of you close your eyes and let your lips meet in a sweet kiss. Locking the promise of a see you again. Even if it means you have to wait a year.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Seven months have passed and while the bitter taste of leaving Jeno still lingers in your mouth, you don’t feel your heartbreaking anymore. You feel hopeful, ready to start a new chapter of your life.

So, when you enter ‘Flora’ with a determination to start this new life, there is not one part of you that feels nervous. You’re sure of your decision, having had months to think about it. Now it’s your turn to choose happiness, to guide yourself into the life you deserve. Because that’s not only what Jeno wants for you, that’s what you want for yourself as well.

You walk through the store, inhaling the sweet scent of the flowers and taking in the sea of colors. You always felt like you belong here, right in this store. It pulled you towards it, ever since you were a child. And only recently have you realized why. When you spot what you’ve been searching for, your heart skips a beat. But it feels right. Never has anything felt so right in your life.

Sensing a presence, Jaemin turns around from where he was watering the flowers. Shock written on his face as he spots you, having just seen you two hours ago.

“Y/n?” He says your name like it’s his favorite melody. Like it’s the only word he repeats before going to bed. Like it’s what gives him the energy to live. “Is everything okay?”

You nod at him, taking a few steps forward. Over the months Jaemin has never left your side. Always making sure you eat enough, taking you out to distract you and even buying you new books whenever you finish one. He was the person you desperately needed in the time of your sorrow. He was and still is the person you deserve. You gradually noticed your fast beating heart whenever he was around you. The way your cheeks would become a deep red shade whenever he complimented you. And how you couldn’t stop thinking about him. But you had to wait. You had to wait until you were over Jeno. Until your heart has healed, put itself back together.

“Remember when you told me that if I find myself in a situation where he isn’t there anymore to take up all my thoughts? And that you will wait for me until I’m ready?” Jaemin nods, mouth hanging open, waiting for your next words.

“I’m finally ready for you.”

Bonus scene

Saying bye to Jaemin with a gentle kiss on his lips, you make your way to the beach. It’s sunny around this time, summer slowly showing its face. You enjoy the sun again, after a long dreadful winter. It feels like a reward after having to wear hoodies and sweatshirts for a long time. Now you can put on your cutest sun dresses again, go to the beach with Jaemin and Mark and live a little. Jaemin and you even planned a little trip to Italy, wanting a change of scene after so much happened in your lives.

You can hear a small yawn from the baby seat you are holding. Looking down you see your two-month-old daughter slowly opening her eyes, waking up from her nap. Smiling as you see her little face scrunched up, not ready to leave the dream land yet. “It’s okay, baby. You can sleep some more.” You can see her calm down after hearing your voice, closing her eyes again.

Shortly after last year’s meet up with Jeno, Jaemin and you found out you’re pregnant. It was a shock at first, not having planned such a thing to happen three years into your relationship. But that didn’t stop you from being excited about it either. Even though you hadn’t planned it to happen, it felt like it was the right time. That got confirmed the second you saw your daughter in the arms of her father. Jaemin loves her, and he’s not afraid to show it. Carrying her around at all times, talking to her like she can understand him. Sometimes he just stops and stares at her with this look in her eyes, like he can’t believe she’s real.

As you get closer to the rock, you can already see the silhouette of Jeno. You don’t know how he will react to the little baby, but you wanted to show her to him. Envolve him into the happiness she had brought your ever since she was born.

When you see him turn around, you can see the hesitation in his eyes as he spots the baby seat. Carefully trying to get a look, but not daring to get any closer. “Is that?”, he asks, unsure of how to phrase it.

“Yeah.”, you answer him with a big smile. “I found out shortly after our last meeting that I was pregnant, that’s why I didn’t tell you.”

He just nods, watching as you take a seat beside him, gently getting the small child out of her seat. Jeno doesn’t know what to say, or what to do. All he can do is observe you. He notices the constant smile on your lips, your eyes filling with so much pride as you look at your baby. You’re a mother, he realizes. And that title has never fit anyone better than you.

“You want to hold her?”, you ask him, giving him an encouraging nudge. And as much as he would like to decline the offer, scared he might do something wrong, part of him is tempted to do it. Just for a few minutes he wants to be selfish. He wants to know what it feels like to sit beside you, having a child in his arms, imagining it was his. He wants to know what it could feel like to have a future with you. A future in which everything is possible. In which he can be who he chooses to be, love who he wants to love. A future that involves you and him. Marrying, having children, and growing old together. He’s been dreaming about that a lot more lately, as if his head was telling him all along that you were expecting a child. He’s been longing a lot more as well recently. Longing for you, your touch, your voice, even just your bare presence. And he’s been making wishes a lot more as well. Wishes to be able to change everything, to leave his life behind and join yours again. Just for a few moments, he wants to feel like all those things could actually come true.

So, he nods at you, letting you place the small being in his arms. Her head rests comfortably against his chest, and you two hear her sigh, as if she found her place. As if she claimed him, and never wants to sleep anywhere else but his chest.

“Someday.”, Jeno speaks up, eyes leaving your child and meeting yours. “Someday in another life this could be us.” Jeno looks at you as if you’re his world. As if you picked the stars from the sky only for him. As if he can’t live without you. “In another life we can be happy together, having a family of our own. And I can’t wait for that other life to come.”

[daddyslittlegirl89]

Normalcy || Fem!Butch!Wolverine x Fem!reader

Summary: As the weekend approaches, Logan and her girlfriend spend an evening contemplating all the good things in their lives; maybe even wishing for more.

Content/Warnings: cussing, mentions of sex (MDNI), might be overly sweet for some, domestic life, mix between movie and comic personas, etc.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Hello lovelies! Hope everyone is having a good day, and if you aren't I hope you're able to be cheered up by this fic. I, honestly, have just been dreaming of Fem!Butch!Wolverine since she showed up on my TikTok fyp. And it makes me so sad that there's only like ten fics for her right now, so I decided to put in some work. Hopefully you enjoy, if not, no worries. There's always more out there. Anyways, have fun!

Fall had finally set in. The cool, crisp air formed a nice breeze rolling over your skin. You had on a light jacket, but nothing kept away the cold like Logan, a genuine human heater. Your best friend—your girlfriend. You two sat on the ground, her back against a tree and you in her arms. A calm settled over you, watching as the sun slowly set on the horizon, the front yard of the mansion was lite up with golds and oranges. 

Inside was the bustle of students getting ready for the weekend, whether that meant face masks and movies in the common room—the smell of charcoal and whatever other chemicals mixed with it, and buttery popcorn overwhelmed the mansion—, some older kids blowing off steam in the danger room, the littles running away mischievously with candy stolen from the kitchen; Scott yelling after them, not seriously, but sounding ever like the dad he was meant to be. Jean with a warm smile and a flirty comment right behind him. Ororo helping some of the girls with their hair, a braid train beginning to form. Laughter in every room, some kids studying, some reading, some already in bed. A normal Friday night, containing all things good and happy, even when some were feeling down. 

Of course, self-proclaimed loner, Logan Howlett, wouldn’t be caught dead in any of that, not unless you were there. Though these days, her guard lowers with every passing hour of feeling at home. With all the warmth and love the mansion possessed, even on its worst days, how could you not? Not when you take her by the hands and lead her outside, away from all the noise, away from all the smells, from the feeling of being cramped. No, not when she had you to ground her— far healthier and more fun than the bottom of a bottle, or a nice cigar, though she hadn’t completely given those up yet. A girls gotta have some vices. 

Your breathing evened out, and your heartbeats synchronized. Two hearts beating as one, her hand overtop and interlaced with yours. Even if the cold did lick at your heels, it couldn’t ruin the serenity of this moment. Of the love that you two shared. Of the righteous feeling bubbling in your chest, the good that life held so preciously right now. You wondered, for a fleeting moment, why it couldn’t always be like this? And Logan always had a knack for reading your mind, even without being a telepath. 

“You think too loud, woman,” she sighs out, acting annoyed, though she’s far from it. 

“I do not,” you say, words barely louder than a whisper. 

“You do,” Logan pauses, “but that’s alright with me.” 

A smile creeps its way onto your face, “Just wish it could be like this all the time…” 

“What? Me holding you like this?” She suddenly is squeezing at your sides, laughter falling from your lips. One of Logan’s most favorite sounds. You lightly smack away her hands, at that she chuckles along with you, your head thrown back and burrowed right below her jaw. She kisses the side of your head as you catch your breath. You lift your head and stumble through your next words. 

“No! Not no, yes this but…inside,” you take a moment to collect the right words, “everything is how it was before. So soft, and lovely. Feels like a real family, Lo.” You stare off into the sunset, “I wish it could be like that always. That they didn’t have to worry that people are out to get them. Human and mutant alike. The children don’t deserve that…” You mutter the last part. 

“Neither do we, darlin’,” Logan replies. 

“Yeah…” you agree, “I suppose. ‘Neither do we’…” you copy. 

You try to calm yourself in Logan’s hold. Everything precious within your grasp. You close your eyes as you take in a deep breath. “I love nights like these,” You comment, Logan hums in agreement. “Wish we could bottle it up and take it everywhere with us.” 

She looks at you incredulously, eyebrow raised, “You’re so fucking weird.” 

“Yeah, well normalcy’s boring,” you tease, and Logan rolls her eyes. 

“Guess I can’t argue with that…” 

“You can’t,” 

“No…not when I’m here, loving on you…little freak is what you are,” She states, matter-of-factly, a smug smile decorating her face. 

You scoff, “You are so rude sometimes! I am not a freak,” you protest, trying not to smile at her antics. 

“Yes you are. ‘Member that thing you asked me to do with my tongue the other night?—“

“Oh my fucking god,” you cut her short, “shut up! Kids could be out here!” You squeal, whipping your head from side to side, begging to whatever’s up there to not have any child, and please, no one you knew personally, overhear Logan’s sinfully wonderful tongue.

“Yeah, but they’re not…” Logan tries to persuade, leaning down and placing small kisses along the side of your neck.

You whine, “I don’t care,” and try to get out of her hold. But her grip is made of steel—or in all actuality, adamantium— unwavering and unwilling to let go. 

“I think you care,” she mumbles, keeping you put, touching as close as your clothes will allow, “think you care an awful lot about who hears what.” 

“God, can you shut up?!” You whisper-shriek, “No one wants to hear about that!” 

“I wanna hear about it. Want you tell me all sorts of things. Wish you’d tell me more often…we could have more fun like that now,” She lets her hand slowly drift downwards and under your jacket and shirt. Her fingers playing with the button and belt loops of your pants. 

You groan in defeat, you could never resist her, and mutter softly, stubbornly, “I did like that thing you did,”

“Uh-huh, I know,” Logan smiles and lifts her hand to rest on the warmth of you bare skin,  squeezing the flesh of your belly out of comfort. 

“Quit pawing…” you scowl, “can’t disagree. It was good,” then soften your gaze. Reminiscing about three nights ago, when she had you face down, ass up. Hands gripping the sheets and leg quaking with the way her tongue spelt her name over your clit. 

“Yes, I know. With you practically screaming my name and creaming—“

“Ahhh! Too much, Logan! Too much!” You shriek, anxious laughter spilling from you.

Logan chuckles softly, “S’not what you were saying then.”

“Oh my gosh, you just don’t know when to be quiet,” you turn your head to face her. 

“S’pose not,” she shrugs, “not when you’re around anyways…” a soft feeling blossoms in both of your chests. You stare into her blue eyes, and a small smile creeps onto the usually stoic Wolverine’s face.

“You know I don’t mind you talking about us, just wish we could be totally alone,” You say, “have all the little ears gone.” 

“Mmm, me too,” she agrees.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“We could run away,” you jest. 

“Yeah?” She smirks. 

“Yeah,” you sigh and look off, “get a place of our own—just me and you. Nothing big or flashy, something practical but still nice. It doesn’t even need to be too far from here, we could still come to work, be X-Men, come here anytime we like…” Logan looks over your face. Partially, she’d say you sounded serious, but another part of her knows your life is here. Embedded into the very mutant you are, and while she’d love to take you away to something that could be yours, she knows your how deeply you care about everyone here. 

“Sounds like a pretty nice dream you have, darlin’…” She wraps her arms securely around you once more. 

“Not just a dream, Lo…I really want it. Want it so bad, it plagues all my thoughts.”

An answer she doesn’t expect to hear, specially not from you. You continue, “Y’know I love it here. Been my home since I was twelve,” you take a deep breath, “I remember running down the halls with the older kids who would come and go. I remember when Jean first came, my first real friend who ever stayed. Then Ororo, and soon Scott joined us. We all used to run up and down every inch of this manor, and when we finally convinced Scott to not be such a stick-in-the-mud, we would even sneak out. I have so many memories and secrets in that house. And now, with you here, I have even more. But…” you falter. 

“But?” Logan asks. She gazes at you expectantly, patiently. 

“Logan, I’m twenty-five years old, and all I’ve ever seen of normal relationships have been through a tv screen or books. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move in this game. I love what we have here, I do… but I want a home. I want you, selfishly, all to myself.” 

She closes her eyes and lifts her head to bask in the sunlight, before humming, “I understand.”

“Do you?” You turn your head up to gaze at her. Perfect, yet even more so in this light. 

She hums again, “I want you—selfishly—all to myself. Always have, darlin’,” Logan reveals. Suddenly, with that pure and unadulterated expression of love upon your face, a weight lifts off of her chest. Her shoulders feel lighter, even with the weight of her sins still sitting there, she’d take on a couple hundred more if it meant keeping that look on your face forever. Maybe a couple others too, but that one was real special. 

“You don’t think it’s stupid?” You ask quietly. 

“Why’d I think that?” 

You sigh and shake your head, “Just some comment Scott made.”

Logan scoffs at the mention of her fellow X-Men, “What has listening to soldier boy ever done for you?”

“Lo, be nice. He’s like a brother to me,” you defend him, “I know he just means to keep me safe…you and I both don’t exactly have the best tract record when it comes to this stuff.”

Logans lip twitches with a flash of anger, “Yeah, but that’s none of his goddamn business—“

“I know…” you pause, “I know. He made a point though…”

“Like what?” Logan snaps, though her angers’ misplaced, not meaning to aim at you. 

“That Charles gave us this opportunity, this life—full of family and love—that we shouldn’t squander it. Rather cherish it. That…we’re mutants. X-Men. And no matter how much we want to escape that, we can’t. We can never outrun who we are. It’s just better to stick together, cause in numbers we’re stronger. It’s stupid. I know it is, really it is. But even Jean agreed with me, that the want to leave and start anew wasn’t abnormal. But, she’s always been biased when it comes to me,” you sigh, feeling guilty. 

Your family abandoned you, didn’t care what would happen to you just so long as you wouldn’t harm them, or bring along embarrassment to their name. Charles took you in and cared for you the way a father should, the way he loved all the children. He was an extraordinary teacher, and an even better friend, even with all his faults. However, your view was biased when it came to him and your friends. That’s just the cost of emotional attachments, though. 

Logan voice knocks you out of your own head, “Red’s right, darlin’. It’s normal. Don’t go listenin’ to Summers just cause he cares. Jean cares too. Besides, Chuck’s the only one of’em I semi-trust. Maybe you should talk to him…”

You chuckle, “Maybe…but what about Jean? Ororo? Even Kurt? I know how you feel about Scott, but don’t you trust them, baby?” A smile creeps onto your face. 

“Ro’s fine, she don’t need no help handling anyone…” She huffs, "Red’s the same, but she’d got more spitfire behind her. And as for the furry elf—“

“Be nice,” you scold, “Kurt’s nothing but sweet. Mischievous, sure, but sweet."

“Yeah, yeah…he’s fine, I guess,” she shakes her head. 

“Guess I can say you trust more people than just me now, huh?” You tease. 

“Always trust you most, darlin’,” Logan takes your chin between her pointer finger and thumb, facing you towards her, and dips down slowly. Her lips chapped but soft on yours. Her kisses, no matter how short, always made you a little dizzy. 

“I’ll alway trust you the most, Lo…” you breathe out between the kiss, “I love you.” 

She looks into your eyes, blue steel swirling like a storm brewing with emotion, “I know.” 

Logan doesn’t have to say ‘I love you’ for you to know she loves you. Her lips are back on yours, hungry but soft. Chaste to say the least. With each and every second passing, she pours all she is into it, and all she has to say that will go unspoken. Every look, every touch, every small favor, every moment in time that she spends next to you already tells you everything you need to know. And as you break away from her, the last of the golden light settling onto her soften features, you say what she deserves to hear, “I know, too.” 

You stay like that for a while more, the cold coming and going. Kisses exchanged, gazes loving, soft laughter here and there. And as twilight turned to dusk, and the stars and their moon peaked out, you stayed like that a little more, if not to preserve that moment, than to try and steal it away. 

“Perhaps I’ll talk to the professor tomorrow,” you mutter, your head resting on Logan’s shoulder. 

She nods, “Yeah, think you should get on that ASAP.”

“Rocky?” You giggle. 

“What the fuck ever, sweetheart, whatever you want.” She chuckles along to your weird antics, “You want a house, I’ll get you a house. Least I can do for you.” 

“You wanna live with me?” You ask coyly, faux shyness within your attitude. 

“I don’t know, could you not tell by all my shit in your room?” She scoffs. 

“Maybe just a bit,” you say. 

“Yeah, baby…I wanna live with ya…” she sighs, heart full for the first time, in a long time. 

“Just us,” you state. 

“Just us.” She confirms. 

“No kids. No prying eyes.”

“No extra ears. No telepaths,” she shakes her head in embarrassment, which is rare with her, “couldn’t tell you how many times Chuck’s walked by me and gone completely wide-eyed cause he saw something he shouldn’t have.” 

“God…that’s terrible…” you wanted to die. Not actually, but the man most akin to a father figure having seen you in what is most likely very compromising positions, all because Logan’s thoughts were too loud? Extremely embarrassing, “but you’re right. No telepaths. No extra ears. We could be as loud as we want.” 

She hums in agreement. 

“If we want to scream, we can scream,” you list off, “if we wanna fight, we can fight. We wanna fuck, we can fuck. In the kitchen, living room, dining table—“

Logan’s eye’s widen, “What about the bed?” She laughs. 

“Yeah, there too,” you snide. 

“And you got offended when I called you a freak.” 

“You were being mean, don’t deny it!” You continue, “We could talk. Anytime, without worry. We could just breathe and never speak at all. Just us. Just me, just you.” 

“Ain’t that a dream…” she sighs. 

“Mhmm…” you chirp quietly, “I’ll get to work on it tomorrow.” 

“Good…might just be at the top of my ‘honey-do’ list now.” 

“Getting us a house?” You ask softly, she hums in response. 

“Yeah?” You ask.

“Yeah…” she confirms. 

That night ended with you two being yelled at by Scott from the front door to get in before you caught a cold. Not that you could, mutant genes and all, but it was nice to know he still cared. Logan grumbled all the way in about him ‘always ruining a good time’, you holding her hand and squeezing it—trying to remind her to be nice. As you walked into the mansion, a new sense of nostalgia and righteousness washed over you. Yes, this home was yours and it always would be, but beginning anew was never a bad thing. 

Kids of all ages roamed the halls in their pajamas, Ororo and Rogue ushering the littles to bed, while Scott and Jean pointed the older students to the direction of their dorms. You recalled the days that Charles and Hank would yell at you about getting to bed. You recalled just the other day that Charles huffed for you and Logan to head on to bed, even with being as grown as you are. Charles wheeled in, still clad in his suit, and a smile on his face, greeting you and bidding the children a goodnight. 

He wouldn’t tell you this until he next morning, but he had an inkling feeling that you and Logan weren’t to be long before fleeing the coop. And much like a father, he had already purchased a property, close enough to them, but far enough to be on your own. Charles would hug and congratulate you, but he would also remind you that the mansion would always be your home; that he and the others would always be waiting for your return. And that he couldn't wait to see how ticked off Logan would be about this (spoiler alert: she acts like she is, but really it saved her time trying to find something for your picky ass).

A/N: Thank you so much for reading until the end! Hope you had a good read! Until I write again.