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all-purpose-dish-soap · 29 days ago

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64 / 4.1k / soap soulmate au, final part

...

"You doing okay?"

Hearing Graves’ voice knocks what little breath you had out of your lungs. It's been months, but that's him. Your old boss. You never thought you'd hear his voice again.

"I've been better," you say finally. "Been awhile."

"Yeah, it has," he says. "Wish you'd've called me to catch up sometime, rather than under the circumstances. You don't sound too banged up. They treat you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"I didn't ask how you feel. I asked if they roughed you up."

You feel your own temper shorten in response. "I need you to call KorTac off."

There's a pause. You can imagine his frowning face, the way he's thinking that one over. "I'll take that under advisement," he finally says, but you can tell he's not going to do what you ask of him. "Puttin' me in a predicament here, kid. You're giving those boys a hard time, and here I thought I was helping you out. Paying your bail, so to speak."

"It’s more complicated than that."

"Always is. Let’s just have you dropped off back on base with us. You can clean yourself up and we’ll talk."

He waits for your crisp yes, sir, but it never comes.

He speaks again. "You got somewhere else to be?"

"I can't go back."

"Can't or won't? You got something you ain't tellin me, soldier?"

"I said I can't go back. And I'm not your soldier anymore. You're not my boss. I don't work for you."

"You know Shadows don't leave one of our own behind. Not to rot in some CIA prison cell. So lose the attitude," he says, voice like iron. "This ain't a good time to play games, kid. You're comin' back with me because I spent a pretty penny on you. You owe me. You have your personal business, fine. Come on back to base and let's talk this out face to face before you go makin' any hasty decisions."

You're so frustrated it's hard to form words. You should be grateful. You know that. Graves doesn’t pretend to care about his men. He cares enough to lead from the front. But you met your soulmate, and you can’t act like it didn't change you. You need to make things right. You also can’t exactly tell Graves you kind of sold him out.

"Hey. Focus up." He doesn't raise his voice to a command. Still, the order is in his voice, and you have been long trained to follow your commander's orders. Then he sighs. "What happened to you, kid?"

"You betrayed the 141. You killed innocent people in Las Almas, looking for them."

You can almost hear his jaw working behind his clenched teeth, the muscles in his face tight. He does not allow this kind of disrespect. "You think I like what I had to do? General Shepherd's orders were clear. We followed them. 141 did not." He huffs out a sigh. "I didn't enjoy it. But that's the job. You of all people know that."

You swallow. "You told us they were our brothers. You killed innocent people, Commander. Johnny said he saw you do it--"

"Johnny?" Grave's voice rises. "You on a first name basis with Soap now?"

"We all know what happened in Las Almas," you retort. Your skin goes hot at the way he says Johnny's name. "I won't work for Shepherd anymore after that. I won't fucking do it."

"Don't pull that with me." The warning is written in his voice. This isn't like you. To the Shadows, you’re calm. Cold. You don't lose your temper. You don't talk back. Especially not to Graves. "You think you can walk away at the drop of a hat just because you don't agree with an order? It doesn't work like that. You follow an order, even if you don't like it, even if it pisses you off. You don't get to decide what you think is right or wrong to carry out. When I give you an order, you follow it. That's your job. Your loyalty is with me. Not with the 141."

"I did my job."

"Then act like it," he snaps. "Stop acting like I'm some evil bastard out here. I made the only choice I could. Task Force 141 was not supposed to be there. They knew my orders, and what did they do? They came after my men, went behind my back, screwed us over. We did what we had to. You wanna be pissed at someone? Be pissed at them."

You glare down at the ice, but say nothing.

"You know I'm right." He knows you. He's getting to you. "And you know what else I find interesting? You don't seem a bit surprised to hear me alive." His voice is too casual and sharp as a knife. "Didn't you get the memo? Did no one forward you my obituary, soldier?"

You stiffen. You're not supposed to know he's alive.

"You're an awful liar. Always have been." He pauses for a long moment. "It ain't easy, surviving against the 141 if they want you dead. You know how I managed it, soldier?"

Yes. "No,” you retort. “And stop calling me that. I'm not your soldier. I don't work for you anymore."

"The hell you aren't. Maybe you're not on the payroll anymore, and maybe you're no longer under my command, but once a Shadow, always a Shadow. That makes you my responsibility. And my goddamn headache." Something shuffles on the other end of the line. "You know exactly what I'm willing to do to keep one of my Shadows safe. But if you're so keen on turning yourself in, fine. I'll have you in front of Shepherd's desk first thing tomorrow. Is that what you want? You know Soap and Ghost put Shadows in the ground that night in Las Almas."

"Shadows tried to put Johnny and Ghost in the ground first."

"This isn't about who shot first. This is about you." His voice is dangerously low, but he keeps his temper in check. Then he huffs a laugh. "You keep callin’ him Johnny. Makes my brain itch." Johnny MacTavish. John MacTavish. Yeah, that's it. "I'll be damned," he mutters.

You touch your exposed soulmark compulsively as if to hide it. Most soldiers hide theirs, but yours has always been tough to cover up. He's seen it more than a few times.

"Got you right out from under my fuckin' nose."

Your stomach tightens. You feel too exposed, like suddenly he’s putting the story together--how 141 got in.

"Shoulda known. Shoulda known. You know the military has a registry for this shit. There are rules. What's wrong with you?"

"I made a mistake," you mutter.

That might be the funniest thing he ever heard. And he's heard some good jokes. "You don't make mistakes, kiddo. You never have. That's not how I trained you." He's right, and you know it. "But hey. Guess it's true what they say about it."

"What?"

"Soulbonds. Make you take your best-laid plans and raze ‘em. Full scorched earth.”

“This isn’t about that. I’m making this decision on my own.”

“You think?” He takes a puff on his cigarette. “I don’t. I don't blame you, either. You sure as hell fought it as best you could. Didn't give in to save your own life. If that's not the soulbond making your decision for you, soldier, I don't know what is."

You look up at the sky. For all the time you spent working with Graves, that past version of you might as well be dead. Maybe that’s the grave you’ve been digging. "I can't work for Shepherd anymore. I won't do it."

"You're a good soldier, 86. You were loyal. I still think you're loyal, even if I'm not who you're loyal to," he finally says. His voice is still calm. It doesn't make you feel any better. "You know if you choose to walk away from this, the next time we meet might well be as enemies."

"Then I guess we won't meet again, sir."

He says nothing. Then he lets out a long huff. You really are going to do him dirty. You can hear his scowl. "That's a damn shame, kid. But you have more of a spine than I gave you credit for," he says. There's a tone of reluctant respect to it. That's as close as you're going to get to a compliment from him now. "You're a loose end, then. You'd best stay well out of the way. Mine and Shepherd's. I hope you're not making the wrong choice, 86," he says quietly. "I really hope you're not."

"It’s out of your hands now. And pay KorTac," you add. "Pay my squad. They did their job."

That makes him scoff. "Now why would I do that? You might be a traitor, but you're still my investment. You were worth more on my payroll than theirs, and that’s a fact I intend to maintain."

"You owe me," you remind him.

"Don't push your luck," he warns. "You're an asset. You don’t get the privileges of rank anymore. But, well..." He sighs. You imagine him with his heels kicked back on his desk, cigarette in hand. "I’ll tell you what. I’m in a charitable mood. I'll pay them off. I'm a man of my word when the time comes to pay off my debts. Hell, I’ll even throw in a tip for a job well done." Despite the annoyance in his voice, you don't doubt he'll do just that. "But that doesn’t mean I trust you anymore. I trusted you once, and you went rogue. I let you go now, that means I expect you to keep my secrets. Don't you go singing if Shepherd puts you in a chair. You got that?"

You glance up out of the corner of your eye at Soap, whose hands are still clenched in tight fists at his sides. "If Shepherd puts me in a chair, he's the one who's gonna sing. Not me."

Graves chuckles. "You're a good soldier, 86, but you can't take on an old war dog like Shepherd. Leave that to someone more qualified."

"Like who? You?"

"As I said, you best steer clear. I don't want to hear your name again." His voice hardens, and you hear your old commander again. "Good luck, kid. You'll need it. And give Soap hell."

You toss the phone back to Horangi. He listens to what Graves has to say. Then, eyes meeting yours for a moment, he wordlessly moves out away from the river, leaving you weary with relief. It's over. Finally.

Soap watches him disappear into the trees. Then, he looks back at you, alone and shivering on the ice. You look half-dead, bleeding, and your lips are near blue. He wants to make his way to you, but the ice is scarcely holding you. It won't hold him, too.

"Oi," Soap calls. His voice is rough with anxiety. "Get over here. You're gonnae freeze to death even if you don't fall through."

You blink up at him. Standing in the rising sun the way he is now, he looks like someone’s guardian angel. Yours? You'd like very much to be wrapped in his wings.

You make your way over to the bank, but the rocky ledge up is slippery and icy. Behind you, between the ice where you're standing and the bank, there's a yawning gap. To your left, there's a bridge, but snow has already melted off the surface of the ice, and it looks thin. "There's no way up," you call. "But downriver..."

"No’ a chance in hell I’m going to let you try to cross that," Soap says as he approaches the edge. "You'll be swept away and drown, hen. You're not in any condition to swim, and even if you were, that river's too bloody fast to risk it."

"Then what do you suggest?"

His eyes sweep over the river once more. It's wide; too wide to attempt a jump across. The ice has fallen in, leaving it almost impossible to make it to the bank. It isn't safe. The longer you stand there, the more the ice cracks under you. He admires your guts for putting yourself on the line like that to get back to him, but damn you. His blood pressure has never been higher.

Soap throws off his pack and slings his gear onto the bank. "I'll pull you up."

"But..."

"But nothing." With the adrenaline still pumping through his system, Soap thinks nothing of the risk of the bank collapsing under you both with his added weight. The only thing on his mind is getting you back in one piece. "We both know damn well, if I was the one on the ice now, you'd already be down there trying to help me, so for once, just shut up and let me help you."

Can't argue with that.

He pulls out an ice hook--mountaineering equipment; he was prepared to climb this mission, luckily--and offers it to you.

You toss the grenade as far as you can in the opposite direction. Then you raise your hands to grasp the rope. He's holding the sharp end and giving you the handle. You try to keep hold, but as he lifts, your bloodied hands slip just as the grenade explodes nearby, too close, spiderwebbing the ice with a final crack.

You land hard, break through, and disappear under the freezing water.

Soap has never known panic faster than when he sees you go under.

He dives after you. He has to get you back to the surface before whatever air you had in your lungs gives out. Your survival is his survival.

He finds you in the rushing black abyss when your fingers hook around his sleeve. Wrapping his hands around your arms, Soap anchors you to his chest.

You come to in his arms. You're colder than you ever have been in your life. Your fingertips tingle in pain and numbness. He's carrying you ashore somehow--far downriver, thinner ice--and he ducks into an old cabin with you in his arms.

Soap kicks the door shut behind him and moves into the cabin to set you on the floor, propping your back against the wall. His hands work fast as he pulls out his knife to cut away your soaked thermal clothes and gear. You dip in and out of consciousness until he wads up a fistful of gauze and packs it into your side wound. The sudden pain chokes you. Then a wave of nausea washes over you. You’d like nothing more than to tell him where precisely he can shove that gauze, but you’re too lightheaded.

"You with me, hen?" His gruff voice wavers. "I need you to stay awake."

He gathers you up in his arms and lifts you into his lap. It's a tight fit, wedged underneath the frosty window and between a table and an upturned stool. You register the warmth of his skin on yours and dimly realize he's stripped both of you almost bare, huddling around you to prevent hypothermia.

You soak up Soap’s body heat instantly. He's a furnace, and he needs to be, given the state you're in. He tucks you as close as he can. You're both shivering, but he doesn't care. He can be cold as long as you're warm. His broad body shields you from the drafts leaking into the decrepit cabin.

"No, no, eyes open." He tilts your face up as your eyes flutter. "Don't go passin' out on me."

You gaze up at him in your stupor. Maybe it's the blood loss, but even through your own pain and frustration, he's the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen.

"You have really odd eyes," you mutter. "Like blueberry soft serve."

Oh, you're definitely delirious. Maybe concussed.

But he can't deny the look you're giving him right now makes his stomach flip. The sight of you in his lap, your frost-scorched fingers wrapped idly around his ID tag and staring up at him like he's just pulled the moon out of the sky for you... it's the first time he’s seen you with your guard down.

He swallows and keeps you pressed against his skin. There’s a lot of blood. He can’t tell what’s yours and what isn’t. "You're in no shape to flatter me."

You hum, your fingers dabbing idly at a smear of blood on his chest.

He doesn't move to stop you. Instead, his eyes flick down to your hand. Your fingers leave a trail of sparks over everywhere you touch.

With a soft sigh, Soap catches your wrist. "Quit it, hen."

"Quit what?"

"Teasin'. Makin' me wish you'd put those hands to other uses," he says, voice quiet and rough. It's just you and him in the little cabin. The world is far away. His thumb rubs against the inside of your wrist, trying to bring some warmth back into your skin. "You're in no shape to be feelin' me up, either."

Your head lolls against his shoulder. "Maybe it's the perfect time. Maybe we won't get another time."

Hearing you say that twists his insides into knots. He leans down to rest his forehead against yours. "Maybe you just need to shut up and let me take care of you. Don't talk like that." His voice leaves no room for argument. He tightens his grip on you, pressing you closer as if he can somehow press that into your skin by sheer will alone. "There'll be plenty of times for you to get your hands on me."

"Mm." You tuck into him tighter. You'd be mortified with yourself if you weren't half-dead from blood loss. "Sorry."

He exhales into your hair, pressing chaste kisses there.

You're practically in his lap, the two of you tangled into each other from head to foot in the space under the window. He's surrounded by the smell of you. It's a soothing presence in all that surrounds him.

He shouldn't want to touch you, shouldn't want to take advantage of your weakness--but the thought of having you so open and wanting, of you willingly in his arms, makes something in him ache. Makes the selfish parts of him scream.

"You're a pain in my arse," he says. He focuses on taking inventory of your wounds, brushing over your arms with his touch to assess the damage. "You gonnae bleed out on me?"

You shiver a little as he drags you closer by your bare thigh. "Wouldn't be the worst way to go."

"Oi," he snaps in warning. He slides his hand up your side, checking for bleeding. It’s just as much a caress over your bare skin. He has to ignore how his skin tingles every time the curve of your body slides against his in that tantalizing way. Something in his lower belly tightens. "You don't get to tap out after makin' me go through all this trouble for you. You're livin' through tonight or else."

"Or else what?"

"Or else." He moves his hand up to the base of your throat, his large, calloused fingers wrapping around your neck and tilting your chin up to look at him. He fixes his blue eyes on yours to take in the dazed expression on your face. "I'll drag your arse out of hell and tan it until you can't sit right."

You're too weary to laugh, but you rest your scuffed cheek on his thumb, and it pushes your lips into a smirk. "All for me?"

"Aye. Hell of a lot more trouble than your pretty face should be worth."

You pull free and rest your head on his shoulder again. "Where do you live?"

"Glasgow," he says. "Not sure I should be tellin' you that."

You trace his chest around the chain of his ID tag. So many muscles. "Probably not."

"And what about you? Do I get to know?"

"No. Maybe. If we get out of here."

"Yeah? Well, you're not goin' anywhere with this wound. Bleedin' out, nearly froze to death, and still mouthin' off. No idea how to shut up and be good." He looks down at the injury, assessing how bad it really is in the dim light of the cabin. "You lost a lot of blood. I bet you feel tired." He brushes your hair off your face. "Stay awake a bit longer. The boys'll be here soon."

"I shouldn't," you mutter.

Soap doesn't miss the slurring of your words. He knew the blood loss would affect you, but he was hoping for more time before he had to really worry. "Shouldn't stay? Too late to get away from me now," he says, trying to keep his tone casual. Your skin is too cold for comfort. The gauze in your wound soaking through with blood can't mean anything good. "I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. Sure as hell not letting you out of my sight. You've got a lot to repay me for."

You try to keep your eyes open. Every blink is more sluggish than the last. "Like what?"

"Runnin' away and makin' me chase after you, for one. Puttin' yourself in the line of fire for me, second. Takin' a swim in a frozen river. Scared me to death." He presses his lips to the crown of your head, a gentle, chaste touch at odds with the possessive, dominating instinct he can feel creeping into his thoughts. You're vulnerable right now, something he should never want, but part of him wonders if he’d ever have caught up with you without this. "Aye, you owe me. First thing we do once you're patched up? We have a long talk. We have a whole hell of a lot we need to say to one another. And you'll answer every question I ask you."

"I dunno if you'll like the stuff I say," you mutter.

"Hardly matters. You’re plenty keen on spittin’ fire at me as it is. No reason you can’t keep tellin’ me everything I don’t want tae hear."

Another shiver wracks your body.

Soap rubs your arms. "You gotta give your word you stay awake for me, aye? Stay here."

His radio beeps nearby. You huff. "Fine."

"Fine." He leans over to grab his radio and tries to keep an arm around your shoulders to keep you warm as he does. He keeps you cradled against his chest as he responds to Price.

"Soap here."

You don't hear the conversation. Instead, you listen to Soap's voice vibrate through his chest. He speaks to Price in hushed tones, talking about your condition and the team's ETA.

Price has a laundry list of questions, but Soap manages to wrangle them into holding off until they have everyone back on base. No sense exhausting you on a mission that's already been a shitshow. Finally, they're done. Soap lets the radio go to focus entirely on you again. "Still with me?"

"How long do we have?"

"Shouldn't be too much longer," he says. He checks your side again. The coldness of the air has soaked into the wet gauze. You shiver again. It makes something in him ache. "ETA's about ten minutes out."

You pull his lips down to yours and kiss him.

He's surprised, but he doesn't pull back--not from you. He lets you kiss him. Your taste seeps into his brain and turns all rational thought to white noise. One hand cups your jaw with a surprising gentleness, and the other slides behind your waist to keep you against his body. He's gentle--you need to be handled with care right now.

He pulls back before he loses himself in the desire to deepen the kiss. His eyes search your face, his forehead pressed against yours, his breath hot against your lips.

"You're lucky you're injured," he murmurs. "Or you'd be in a very different kind of trouble right now."

You shiver, but not with the cold. Just that one kiss has you feeling much warmer. You touch your name where it's written on his arm. Then you curl your fingers around the back of his neck and pull yourself closer. "Hold onto that thought for later," you murmur. "Give me something to wait for."

Then you kiss him again.

...

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yuri-is-online · 9 months ago

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Soap Operatic Symphony (A Fyuuture Kid AU ft. Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia)

While camping in the mountains during Camp Vargas, you encounter a monster exactly like the one you fought off with Ace and Deuce at the beginning of the year. While trying to fight it off again, a strange portal opens up in the mine and a person jumps out of it to your rescue. He says he doesn't remember much, but it's clear when you bring him to Crowley that this boy is also from your world, despite being a mage, and until the headmage can think of a better solution, he assigns "Yutu" to your dorm.

Something a certain someone has an opinion about.

notes: yeah I have nothing to say for myself, I have other stuff I am supposed to be writing but this wrote itself ok? ok. Anyway this is a future kid au where your son has come back in time to try and prevent the end of the world but mostly to make sure you don't die. You can see this ask for a detailed explanation of what's up with Yuu and my masterlist for other fic. Oh and the other dorms can be found here.

Scarabia

In general, Jamil is going to be torn between being deeply suspicious of the entire situation and feeling like it's none of his business while Kalim is excited to meet a potential new friend. How they act on those feelings changes depending on who Yutu is trying to interact with.

Kalim- anyone trying to get close to Kalim has to be watched obsessively by Jamil, and Yutu is no exception. If anything the surveillance is worse due to the strange way he showed up, and Kalim doesn't like it but he understands. For Yutu's part he seems really receptive to Kalim's efforts to befriend him, which is the furthest Kalim is going to think about it for a while, but he also notices the strange nostalgia and grief Yutu seems to feel when interacting with you and he really wants to help. He's sure if Yutu would just talk about it, he could give him some good advice. They get along really well! But Yutu seems really reluctant to give out personal information… which Jamil really doesn't like. Kalim's sure he doesn't mean anything by it because of how apologetic he is! But he does sort of wonder if he's done something to make Yutu not feel safe around him... it makes him sort of sad.

Jamil- Once he got a look at that portal, Jamil realized that he didn't actually know what it looked like when you arrived at NRC. He certainly remembers the mess Grim made, but not much about you beyond how confused you looked. He'll have to ask about it sometime but for now, he's got questions. Number one: who the fuck is this guy really? His name isn't Yutu, he sure as shit isn't from your world, otherwise he couldn't be a mage, and his attitude towards you is just suspicious. He has got to want something, and Jamil is torn between protectiveness of you and his adamant refusal to give himself anymore work. It doesn't help that Yutu seems very apologetic to him specifically, he swears the kid seems to be apologizing for his entire existence. It's weird, and he tells him to knock it off because it's not like he's his dad. For some reason that just makes it worse.

Pomefiore

Vil- Epel is the one to tell him about the monster attack, the portal, and the strange protectiveness Yutu has towards Yuu. That last thing doesn't bother him as much as you might expect, as soon as he learns that you're from the same world he thinks it's perfectly natural. Admirable even. The fake name and desire for privacy doesn't bother him either, as an actor both things seem normal to him. What worries him is the idea that something very wrong is happening in the background that he doesn't know about, which he makes very clear to Yutu after sending Rook to distract you. Yutu seems hesitant to trust him, and only offers vague warnings about making sure Yuu stays safe and keeping an eye on Grim. Well now, they can both agree on that, and wouldn't it be easier if Yutu cooperated with him? He's not going to take no for an answer.

Rook- Oh? Ramshackle Dorm has a new member? What a charming surprise! He's sure this will lead to many new beautiful experiences. And he's right! Yutu is very beautiful, but there's something oddly familiar and yet… wrong about him. Like he doesn't quite belong here, and not in the same way that you don't belong here. He looks haunted, his interactions with you scream that he possesses (or to be more accurate used to possess) a relationship that can only have been built over several years. But you clearly don't remember him, and there's a painful aura of grief in his interactions with you. He also notices, with a great deal of joy, that the same grief is present when the little one speaks to him. Just what could that mean? The hunter is in no rush, he'll find out what that means in time, for now he'll keep dropping in unannounced to test Yutu's reflexes.

Side note: I don't speak French so I don't know if this would be the correct way to say it, but I like the idea of Rook's nickname for Yutu being Monsieur Caneton (Monsieur Duckling), because of how he follows Yuu around. Floyd's nickname I reserve the right to change depending on who Yutu's father is.

Epel- He starts off a hater, I am not going to lie. Protecting you is something Epel takes a great deal of pride in; he wants to be seen as manly, as the protector, as someone who you think of as cool and trusts to provide for you. So for a giant portal to open in the sky and drop a new guy determined to protect you from the monsters? He hates it, he really does, and that's BEFORE Yutu starts living in Ramshackle Dorm. He's determined to ignore him and not let him into the friend group, which proves impossible because of how Yutu follows you around so fine. He can sit with you but ONLY IF he accepts that Epel was there first. Something he's really surprised to see him do? He should be more suspicious of why Yutu is constantly asking him for advice or acting like he's cool for being so possessive over you but well. It's Epel he really wants to be seen as cool so he's just not going to think about it.

Ignihyde

Ortho- Ortho wasn't there to see the portal so he can't analyze it, but he can analyze Yutu! And he immediately finds the Shroud family curse. How curious, is this something he should tell his brother immediately? Or should he skip the line and talk to their parents… decisions decisions but he doesn't have to wait for too long for an explanation. Yutu explains himself pretty quickly when called out and Ortho is beyond excited to learn he's an uncle. Less excited to learn about the impending apocalypse but he's sure they can fix it if they work together. Now to double his efforts to get you and Idia together…

Idia- a second person has been isekaid to the NRC oh no. Whatever will he do? Well he intended to do nothing but Ortho isn't letting him. For some reason he seems really determined to get him to hang out with you, almost like he knows about his crush he's been so good at hiding. He can't complain too much, talking with you is weirdly soothing and much easier than he'd anticipated. And Yutu's there too he guesses. Sometimes they parallel play while Idia hangs out with you and that's nice. It's sort of weird how in tune Yutu is with him though, sometimes he swears they could be related. A thought that Ortho is weirdly determined to encourage, and refuses to explain why... maybe he should be more worried about what anime little bro has been watching recently.

Diasomnia

Right so dragon biology is weird and our knowledge of half fae is very limited. From how Sebek looks and how Malleus’s birth is discussed, I assume the eggs produced by love is exclusive to dragon fae and other species just get babies in the normal way. All of that to say:

Malleus- Yutu is an oddity from the jump. He looks very young, but insists he's around the same age as Yuu, and Malleus swears he feels his own magic is a part of him. It's like a precious stone has grown some legs and started walking around and talking back to him. He's a little bit in love, not the same way he's in love with Yuu, but much like a parent would think of a child… perhaps if they get closer he can offer him the night's blessing. He does seem to be lacking it and that just won't do, something inside him says that needs to be fixed immediately. Lilia questions him on whether or not he's jealous of how close the little one is to Yuu, which surprises him greatly. Why would he be- well. He does wish he could spend more time with Yuu but that sort of envy applies to everyone, not just Yutu. And none of those guys are so unafraid of him to have made him a friendship bracelet so there.

Lilia- a mage? From Yuu's world? How exciting! He's very pleased to see how well he gets along with his boys and takes Sebek’s shouting in stride. It's inspirational how quick he picks up on how gullible Sebek is and immediately starts telling- well Lilia supposes he doesn't know they're outright lies but the scolding he gets from Yuu certainly suggests they are. It's all very cute, and something he really wishes he could be a part of, but he knows his time is limited. He'll just have to treasure these experiences while he's allowed them, something Yutu is very willing to help him do! What a good kid, he'll have to tell him how proud his parents must be of him.

Silver- A portal, a monster, and a new mysterious person… it's concerning. Something dangerous has got to be happening with how worried over you this new person is, his name is Yutu? Weird but then his name is Silver so who is he to judge. Anyway he introduces himself to Yutu and he asks why he came through the portal and… isn't really satisfied with his answers. He doesn't think Yutu is a threat, not to Malleus anyway, but there's just something off about this whole thing and it's his task as a knight to make sure the people he loves are safe. What's that? Well of course you are one of those people. You're very important and- why is Yutu looking at him like that. He's telling the truth, what does he mean that makes it worse? Is it his face?

Sebek- Oh look another perfectly average human who is ok. He guesses. Not that he's thought extensively about you personally, only as a precaution to make sure you aren't disrespecting Lord Malleus, you get that right? Him cornering Yutu with a strained look on his face and shouting at him about how to properly respect Lord Malleus is something he would do to anybody. It has nothing to do with him assuming that if this person respects Lord Malleus they will be safe for "that human" to be around. Unfortunately, Yutu is not just anybody and immediately starts yelling back accusing him of disrespecting you. It's like there's two of them now, just with different biases, rip everyone's eardrums.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #future kid au #scarabia x reader #pomefiore x reader #idia shroud x reader #diasomnia x reader

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ponett · 1 year ago

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Whenever I complain about graphic or dark content in media I watch, I keep hearing people retort with this apparently very popular opinion that people who enjoy comfy, wholesome things are actually more likely to be raging assholes than people who love things like death metal and gore. As someone who seems to enjoy comfy, wholesome things yourself and likely met many others who enjoy similar such things, do you agree with this opinion? If so, why do you think this happens?

So I've been sitting on this ask for like a week, not knowing whether or not I wanted to touch it because it kind of feels like being handed a live grenade

For one, I don't like being pigeonholed as someone who just likes "comfy" or "wholesome" things. Yeah, I enjoy My Little Pony and Animal Crossing. I made a game with cute furry characters and lots of bright colors. I also enjoy things like Berserk and Chainsaw Man and Doom and violent crime dramas and punk rock with vulgar lyrics and porn. Variety is the spice of life

Anyway: I generally don't think it's a good idea to make sweeping statements about peoples' moral or intellectual character based on what genres of story they enjoy, regardless of what direction you're coming at it from. But this is a very leading question that kind of skirts around the root problems

There's frequent (perhaps a bit exaggerated) pushback these days against people who prefer their fiction to be a warm blanket, a form of escapism meant to distract you from the real world. In particular, the dreaded "person who only watches kids' cartoons" is a form of this that gets brought up a lot. I don't think the root problem here is what media people enjoy or don't personally enjoy - taste is subjective, and I don't think it's a moral obligation for everyone to have diverse tastes in TV shows - but I do think some folks should try to get out of their comfort zone a bit more. Sometimes stuff that seems like it won't be for you on a surface level will really end up speaking to you, but you won't know until you give it a shot. Trust me, I've been there many times

It becomes a problem when people demand that media ONLY cater to that "warm blanket" attitude. And I think that's part of the reason why that stereotype you mentioned about fans of ""wholesome""" media being assholes exists. People who view dark or violent content as an inherent flaw because it's not what they like. People who yell at creators when they make bad things happen in their stories, because how dare you do this to my comfort characters? People who say movies should never have sex scenes. People who want "problematic" moral complexity stripped out in favor of black and white moral instruction. People who seem to hate any sort of interpersonal conflict in fiction at all

These attitudes can be the result of many different cultural factors, factors that can't all be traced back to Tumblr or what shows you like, but sometimes it's definitely because of that lack of broader perspective on media. You can tell when someone's opinions on The Right And Wrong Ways To Write Fiction were shaped almost entirely by, like, Steven Universe discourse. (Yes, this is a jab at Lily Orchard.) And when these people are very loud about their opinions, well, it becomes a trend people notice

Like. I don't know you. You sent this anonymously. But when you say you "complain about graphic or dark content in media you watch"... that could mean a few wildly different things! Maybe you're just venting about something that unexpectedly triggered you, and that's totally fine. But the wording could also imply that, like, you take issue with these things being present at all, and that you expect a person who likes "death metal and gore" to be more of a "raging asshole" than someone who likes the "wholesome" things you like. So... well, maybe you're more dismissive or judgmental of things outside your comfort zone than you realize?

Unfortunately, in case it's not already obvious, on the internet this shit quickly becomes a proxy battle over dozens of intersecting cultural issues at once where everyone is kinda just talking past each other. So it gets messy

For example, I have no reason to believe that the people who run the "Wholesome Games" showcases have anything against games that are dark or violent or contain adult themes. (They've outright said they don't. Many times!) But when you see people going "why is Spiritfarer allowed in the showcase? That's a game about DEATH and that's NOT WHOLESOME, why would you make me think about death?" or "Ugh, why does Disco Elysium have to be about a cop? Why can't we apply these systems to a game about a young witch who's trying to find a lost cat in an idyllic village instead?" it... Well, it makes me sympathetic towards the indies who don't feel comfortable with the "Wholesome Games" label and consider it limiting. But it also doesn't make me think that devs catering to a demand for more chill, nonviolent video games are categorically facilitating fascist censorship from the Christian right

It's complicated! The written word is imprecise and the internet is a nightmare

I've kind of gone off on multiple tangents here. Basically: I do think that people can kinda turn fans of "comfy" media or "adults who only watch Bluey" into an overblown boogeyman these days. I think people online generally have a habit of swinging too hard in one direction or another in their stances on certain things, overcompensating based on what group of people online are currently annoying them the most and turning said group into like The Main Problem With Society Today. But I also think that boogeyman only exists because of very real examples of people demanding that everything cater to their narrow comfort zone. Go like what you like, but also, y'know. Don't be that person

#anon #ask

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exitwound · 1 year ago

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Maybe think about why you care so much about calling gerard way a woman to the extent that you equate it as the only correct way to engage with their work, as if art as well as support for the trans community can’t have value by itself, as if that isn’t the point, not their literal personal internal experience of gender that’s no one’s business, the same way trying to decide if anyone is trans is not your business if that person doesn’t want to tell you or talk about it with you, because it’s gender essentialist, and why it’s so baffling to you that a celebrity in general but especially gerard way might want to avoid labels or this specific type of intrusive categorization , as they have explicitly stated as well as created music that is about the same thing. And shouldnt we live in a world where someone can present gnc, and talk about experiences with gender and with femininity in honest ways, without people not just obsessing over whether that means they’re “really a woman” but outright deciding, and acting like they are. That’s a narrow fucking definition of womanhood. And shouldn't we value that authenticity from people who don’t want to choose a label as much as we do from people who identify in ways they do choose to label, (labels or the lack of btw have never been individual terms but tools for relating or not relating ourselves to the world in specific ways,) Isn’t that a better more open and beautiful mode of creating relationships to each other? Why does gerard need to be a woman to you? Why are you so obsessed with this? Why is transness and queerness and gender nonconformity itself, to you, some kind of item, an object or artifact for distribution upon others — and it is not in fact “creating cisnormativity” to accept the way a person wants to relate their identity to an audience. There are lots of trans women and transfeminine people who are doing everything gerard way is doing for transness and much more. If you want to call someone a woman go call a woman a woman. If you want to celebrate trans joy go celebrate trans joy. Please by all means do I will celebrate with you I am celebrating with you and I am doing it while listening to my chemical romance. So what’s the point in acting like this. I really don't get it. But it concerns me because this isn't the only time I've witnessed this kind of attitude and although its well-intentioned and "playful" its ultimately weird, ultimately harmful. So honestly, if this really feels "low-stakes" to you it might be because you've never dealt with the kinds of situations where the stakes exist, or considered the perspective of someone who has a different relationship to the stakes of your argument than you do.

Because not to be dramatic, but these stakes are the same stakes relevant to the literal record numbers of legislation currently being passed in the US using bioessentialism and gender essentialism to install systems of state-controlled gender-enforcing and forced gendering of trans and non-trans gnc children in schools and in healthcare. What you're doing is, if on a small scale, still contributing to the same conceptualization of gender as these laws, and as the people who passed them, even if you're well intentioned and hate the laws, even if your beliefs are reversed, the framework is the same, and that framework is going to empower the dominant culture, not yours. That's how power works. Which is why it's stupid. It's literally just stupid. And it hurts trans people who have had experiences in the real world where people are just as intrusive as you are being about trying to interpret their gender, and you’re no different for trying to clock people. If you don't know the stakes of your words, you should learn them before you use those words. Just because you're in a bubble of people who agree with you and think this is just about being either "right" or "wrong" about gerard way's gender and wanting to be "right" doesn't dismiss you from the meaning of the actual words you are saying and the ideologies informing your beliefs, whether or not you're aware of them, because the rest of us aren't trying to be right, we're not living in a this-or-that world in the first place. Personally I don't know them. I've appreciated & engaged with what they have said about their experiences with gender as well as their art while also respecting their statements about not liking labels, and treated their silence on their own identity as intentional, because I like knowing what words, and the absences of words, mean

#z #mcr

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iz-star · 29 days ago

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About the latest polemic about Zayne and Sylus over twitter...

I left twitter for good. I'm honestly so tired of the drama that arises there everyday. I literally decided to log in today just to see some Arcane spoilers and the first thing I was hit with was with the most recent drama about CN players and specially Zayne and Sylus players having a heavy argument about plagiarism and how some lines of Zayne seem to have been copied onto Sylus' lines...

Firs of all, I don't know how the CN fanbase is, so I can't really say anything about that matter. From what I read, it seems things are quite complex there and arguments & harassment among LI's fanbases seem to be quite intense from what ppl is saying but, again, I can't really say too much on that matter cause I don't know how the fanbase is there, I'm not part of it neither I go to CN websites to look up for lads content. Most cases my experience visiting CN websites has been because of kind ppl that has respectfully asked me permission to repost my art and give me credits there, from that perspective my opinion about the CN fanbase has always been good and it still stands, I'm pretty sure that great part of the fanbase it's nice and it's only the small little toxic portion that is overshadowing the nice and chill part of the fandom.

My point here it's: Don't let yourself to have a tunnel vision about this situation.

You can probably see 10, 100 or even 500 ppl arguing and harassing others and even so it's not even a quarter of the whole total of players that belong to the fandom only in China, let alone global. To generalize from your point of view is not the objective take you think it is, talking from your experience doesn't talk for others experience, no one's experience here is universal. I read a lot of ppl trying to find someone to blame all the time "Zayne players started everything" "Sylus writers copied Zayne" etc and you know? Rolling this ball to one another is not going to lead us anywhere because as always, it's not acknowledging the true issue here: that is, us as players, keep enabling this kind of toxic behaviour if that means to stand up for or to 'defend' our main LI.

To try to portray one LI's fanbase as the guilty one is just creating more trouble than solving it and it's also not having a general understanding of the situation at hand and instead, encouraing biased opinions that only create more division and discrimination within the fandom.

And let's be honest, it's not the first time (and probably won't be the last, sadly) that drama arises within the fandom where we attack others LIs and their fanbase. This game is targeted towards adult women, we are not supposed to behave like adolescents making tantrums and messing up with our peers, yet here we are, enabling arguments, harassment, bullying or overall having an ugly and mean attitude in order to defend something that honestly, all the LIs would feel ashamed for if they were real. Like, literally all of them hate to be on the spotlight for the stuff they're good at, it would be even worse if the spotlight it's caused by them for all the wrong reasons.

I know lads guys are fictional, and I'm not going to invalidate people's feelings by saying that you shouldn't take it too seriously just bc they're not real -most of us find a lot of comfort in fiction, after all- but that doesn't give you the right to harass real people neither hurt their feelings [the same ways you feel when they attack your fav LI]. You are able to feel whatever you want to feel, however, you're still responsible for your words and actions. If this game is turning you into an awful person, then I'm afraid to say that you probably must step back and reconsider if your passion for it is healthy for you.

I know it's easy to get upset and sometimes we have the need to express it. However, to decide to be a part of a fandom is to accept that you are not going to always like what ppl say, let alone agree with them. Not everyone's opinions might aling with yours but it's enterily up to you the way how you take and respond to them. As I said before, I left twitter for good bc I found myself often wanting to be mean to others upon reading the negative stuff some ppl said about Zayne, especially in order to compare him with other LIs just to make him look bad. I would often felt so ugly thinking like that. Staying away from that drama has been super helpful and that's the best advice I can give for now: try and enjoy the game and your LI by yourself if the fandom is getting too much to handle.

Be careful about the discourse you support and always ask yourself if your words and actions will truly lead you somewhere good and healthy or it will only cause more chaos for you and others. Flammable opinions only light up and burn if we feed the fire, if there's no one to keep it alive, the flame will drown out very quickly.

#love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #lads zayne #love and deepspace sylus #lads sylus

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aruanimess · 2 months ago

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Hello, Myrtle! 🖤

I hope you're doing well, and wish you a good *timezone*, and don't forget to take care and rest :3

If it's still actual, and only when you have time and more energy, could you please share your ideas of quiet sings of love prompt "i brought you flowers." "for what?" "there has to be a reason?" for AruAni feat. JeanPiku? I'm curious about your thoughts on this prompt, and I hope it'll also cheer you up and bring a smile on your face while working on it (but only when you have more spare time, no rush!)

Sending you many, many hugs and best wishes, Myrtle⊂⁠(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠⊂⁠ ⁠)⁠*⁠.⁠✧

Quiet acts of love prompts

Anna!! Such a lovely prompt! I wanted to finish it for the boy’s birthday, but alas… the tiredness won out T^T

Anyway, I hope you like it :)

~~~

“N— no, that’s just wrong.”

“Pshaw, no, it’s not. It’s perfectly reasonable actually!”

“I’m sorry but I can’t get behind this. You can stretch the definition, sure, but still it doesn’t apply. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not stretching it, I’m following it to its logical conclusion.”

“No. I’m sorry, Pieck. I disagree.”

Jean enters the kitchen. His pajama shirt is buttoned wrong and he must have opted out of shaving for the day because his patchy stubble is clearly visible. This is what vacation Jean likes to do then: sleep in and skip shaving, thinks Armin, lamenting the fact that in all their years of friendship this is the first time he glimpses this side of him.

Pieck leans back in her chair, craning her neck to spy at Jean’s ass while he fills up a mug with fresh-brewed coffee. “Babe,” she says in a sugary voice. “What do you think? Is cake a sandwich or not? I’ll give you a hint. The answer is pretty… sweet.” She winks. Or blinks. Both eyes close at any rate.

Jean narrows his eyes as he sits with them at the table. “What are you guys going on about?” He slurps his coffee loudly.

His former zeal returns with vengeance. “That’s another issue actually. Sandwiches are generally savory.”

Pieck grins like a lazy, smug cat. “Have you never heard of an ice-cream sandwich, Armin?”

Rats. She has a point.

Jean sets his mug down with a decisive thunk. “This debate is stupid.”

“No it’s not!”

Pieck and Armin glance at each other in surprise. In their affront, they both spoke at the same time. They giggle at their own silliness.

Pieck recovers first. “No, but really. It’s two pieces of bread-like substance with filling between them. It’s a sandwich!”

“No, no.” He waves his index finger at her. “That’s stretching the definition. A sandwich is framed by two pieces of bread. Period. Not bread-like. Also, you may have noticed the operative word ‘two’.”

“Are you guys seriously gonna keep at it?”

Pieck huffs. She picks up her fork, cuts a bite of her piece of… well, cake, and shoves it in her mouth. “You and your definitions,” she teases as she chews.

Armin sits up in his chair. “Do you want me to bring out the dictionary?”

“Please don’t,” says Jean.

With a theatrical eye-roll, Pieck tilts her head. “It’s not about the dictionary! This is language in action! Expanding on the meaning of words as needs arise.”

“So you agree it’s expanding on the meaning?”

“I’m only pointing out that dictionaries are not necessarily updated on current vernacular.”

“But no one uses the word sandwich to refer to cake!”

“Not with this attitude, they don’t.”

Thankfully, the back door bursts open, and his glorious girlfriend walks in to save him from her best friend’s deranged ramblings.

Honestly though, sometimes he thinks Pieck is just messing with him. She likes to debate him on the silliest, most inane things imaginable. After a short period of continuously getting involved in ridiculous arguments, he refused to engage her any longer, but then she started baiting him. She'd open with the most outlandish of claims and then proceed to defend it to the death. He simply had no option but to set her straight. And thus they have found themselves debating whether cake was a sandwich on the very first morning of their vacation, while Jean was still asleep and Annie out for her ritual jog.

Along with a gust of crisp wind, Annie steps inside. Her cheeks have a healthy flush to them, from the exercise or from the springtime chill or both. She’s wearing a loose top and knee-length bloomers. On her side, she’s holding something obscured by the folds of her clothes.

Armin tilts his chin up in a silent plea for a kiss. She indulges him, dropping one swift peck on the corner of his lips. Preoccupied by her closeness as he is, he hears more than sees something soft landing on the table in front of him. Annie draws back and turns around, already too busy pulling a loaf and a jar of jam out of the pantry to make her breakfast. Armin stares at her strong hands as they work on her food.

A low whistle penetrates the Annie-induced fog in his brain. It’s coming from Jean, who is glancing meaningfully down. Curious, Armin follows his gaze.

There on the table, right between his coffee and his plate, sits a small bouquet of bright yellow flowers. More than a little taken aback, Armin nudges the bundle with his pinky finger. “What’s this?” he asks Annie.

Annie’s spine stiffens noticeably. The tips of her ears are turning red. “I brought you flowers,” she murmurs while spreading butter on a slice of bread, avoiding his eyes.

He blinks. “For what?”

A tiny irritated shrug. “There has to be a reason?”

Armin is shocked speechless. He takes the flowers in hand and twists them around to examine them from both sides, as if this will reveal to him their secrets. It’s six flowers in total, he notes, chrysanthemums if his memory serves. He digs his brain for their hidden meaning. What is Annie trying to tell him? His mind provides several answers: longevity, amity, joy; but also the death of a loved one. He shakes his head, frowning. No, Annie is not well-versed in flower symbolism, that’s his brand of madness. Still, what could this mean?

While Armin is struck dumb by the bouquet, Pieck most certainly is not. She plops her elbow to the back of her chair and looks at Annie with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Oh, come on, Annie-Honey. You can’t just show up with a bouquet,” the way she pronounces the word should be outlawed, “of all things and not share what’s the occasion!”

Annie pivots to face them. She leans against the kitchen counter, balancing her plate in one hand. “There’s no occasion,” she insists, and, before Pieck has a chance to question her further, she shoves the entire slice of jam-slathered bread in her mouth. She chews obnoxiously.

Little does she know, she’s only riling her up with her refusal to answer. Armin glances warily between his girlfriend and Pieck, but it’s Jean who speaks next.

“No occasion?” he muses, an extremely judgemental eyebrow tilt is accompanying his words. “I’m quite positive—nay certain—that gifting your significant other flowers is generally motivated by something. If not to mark an occasion, then perhaps to express some tender feelings?”

“Oh, baby,” Pieck mock-laments, “you shouldn’t be neighing like that.”

All levity bleeds out of Jean’s face. He pouts sullenly. “You and Connie should have never met.”

Pieck grins and blows him a kiss. Then, her attention zeros in on Annie. “But really, Annie, don’t be shy, is it because you loooooove him?”

Armin’s heart is hammering in his chest. He should interfere, he thinks, step in and get them to stop with their teasing. But in truth he wishes to hear Annie’s answer as much as them. This gesture… It’s so sweet, so romantic, so uncharacteristic of Annie, it makes him want to howl from happiness.

Annie is scowling. The food in her mouth is no longer filling her cheeks. Chewed and swallowed, warm in her stomach, it can’t provide an easy out any more. And Pieck is watching her like a hawk.

She sighs. “I passed by a vendor,” she says.

“And?” urges Pieck.

Annie casts a glance at him and meets his eyes. He doesn’t know what she sees in his expression—longing, embarrassment, tentative hope?—but her face softens. Her lips curve minimally in a fond smile. When she responds, it’s to him and him only: “And they reminded me of you.”

Armin gasps. The scent of pollen hits the back of his throat and he sneezes loudly. Then, he sneezes again and again and again, a proper sneezing fit. Jean is there, grabbing the flowers away from his nose. Annie is to his other side, rubbing his back with a small gentle hand. Pieck is chuckling, but her eyes hold a sympathetic warmth.

“You’ll kill him with your bouts of romance, Leonhart,” chastises Jean.

Annie’s palm on his back freezes, halting her caring petting. Her hand slips on his shoulder and then away. Oh no. Armin can’t have that.

He grips her fingers tightly before they vanish. With the other hand, he takes hold of the bouquet from Jean and brings it beneath his nostrils, taking a long showy whiff.

“No, she won’t,” he says to Jean. Then he beams up at his beautiful, considerate girlfriend, who melts at the sight of his smile. “And if she will, I’ll die a happy man.”

#asks #prompt fill #mini fic #long post #aruani #jeanpiku #armin arlert #annie leonhart #jean kirstein #pieck finger #fluff #tooth rotting fluff

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olderthannetfic · 1 year ago

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I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.

Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"

Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:

"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"

I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.

The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.

This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.

Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"

I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.

The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.

The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.

It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.

If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.

I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.

Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.

They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.

When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.

The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.

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burst-of-iridescent · 1 year ago

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I saw your response to the previous anon. even if we assume that you are right about KA (you are wrong, but I don't see the point in arguing with you), there has never been such a lot of negative interaction between Aang and Katara as there was between Zuko and Katara. Katara threatened Zuko with death and was literally going to leave him to die (and Zuko remained alive only thanks to Aang), and Zuko betrayed her trust and literally said that he did not understand why she was angry with him (although Katara explained to him the reason for her anger a minute ago) and then, according to Katara herself, forced her feeling that she has no choice. I hope you understand that "a partner who respects her, admires her, supports her, cares for her, and loves her just as much as she does him" is pure fanon, and none of this is in the canon (neither in the show itself, nor in post-canonical things)? it's normal that you ship zutaru, and you can read and write as many fanfictions as you want, where Zuko loves Katara, and Katara loves Zuko, but the truth is that the canonical Zuko, the real Zuko, was never in love with Katara, he chose another girl for himself, and had a child with another gir (Mai actually) whether you like it or not. Just like Katara chose another man for herself and lived with him for many decades, gave birth to three children from him. You may think they made a mistake, but it was their choice, and canonically they never considered each other as likely partners. It's weird that you can't understand in any way that canonically there was never anything between Zuko and Katara.

what a pity that avatar: the last airbender ended ten minutes into the southern raiders episode. what a pity that katara never told zuko that she was ready to forgive him, that she never hugged him tenderly, that she never joked with him, supported him, comforted him, and agreed to fight by his side. what a pity that zuko never took a lightning bolt to the heart to protect her, and that katara looked shocked and terrified at the sight. what a pity that she never yelled his name, forgot the incredible danger she was in and tried to run to him and help him. what a pity that katara never took down a firebending prodigy at the height of her power and then rushed to zuko's side and cried when she was able to heal him.

what a pity that they didn't end the show with a beautiful, strong, intimate friendship that provided the perfect foundation for a romance to develop.

i'm not sure if you're aware that fictional characters usually undergo something called development, where they adopt different attitudes, behaviours and feelings from those they held before. i love that katara goes from threatening zuko to fighting for zuko tooth and nail in the finale, because that is called change, and growth, things that are generally considered good and necessary within character arcs and relationships - but i understand you may not be familiar with those concepts in romance, given that you ship kat.aang.

literally said that he did not understand why she was angry with him (although Katara explained to him the reason for her anger a minute ago) and then, according to Katara herself, forced her feeling that she has no choice

it is usually good to provide this little thing called evidence when carrying out analysis.

that is hard to do, of course, when you have none.

You may think they made a mistake, but it was their choice and canonically they never considered each other as likely partners. It's weird that you can't understand in any way that canonically there was never anything between Zuko and Katara.

in case you don't know, zuko and katara aren't real people with free will. their choices are made for them by writers whose job is to make those choices make sense within the scope of their own narrative arcs, and fit the themes and messages of the show. when they fail at that job, audiences are perfectly within their rights to recognize that and examine what could have been done differently.

just because something is canon, that doesn't mean it's immune to criticism. of course i know katara canonically got married to a.ang, and that zuko chose a different partner. that doesn't automatically mean those are the right narrative decisions because - and this may come as a shock to you - engaging critically with media also means looking at the ways in which it fell short and how it could have done better, and the romances in atla are by and large one of its major shortcomings.

#zutara #anti kataang

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blubushie · 7 months ago

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It's bitching hour I see, don't mind if I join! A lot of the TF2 fandom (mostly just Tumblr/Twitter parts of it) seem to be huge pussies about shipping. There has been talk about straight Pauling ships already and this falls under it too. TF2 fans on here seem to just fear being slightly unconventional with ships, no age gap more than 5 years or so, only the three most popular ships or else eat dirt, no straight Pauling ships, what do you mean bi people exist? It's stupid. You like a ship that isn't fucking red Octoberfest? Starve! Nobody will write or draw anything for this pair for months! Like a ship that's slightly controversial within the fandom like basically any pairing with an age gap, classcest, M/F Pauling ship, anything with pyro in it (also dear god this fandom treats pyro like an uwu baby that doesn't know sex when the guys a full grown pyromaniac with a job! He's mentally ill not a fucking child!! Sorry for side tangent) will get your head stuck on a pike ffs. I remember when I joined I really liked the popular/non problematic ships too but the attitudes of some people smh. TF2 side of Tumblr please get a bit more open minded with what you ship or just leave the people who ship unconventional shit alone. I know there's a line that 90% of the fandom won't cross and it's for a good reason imo (talking about incest ships here) but a relationship with an age gap of more than 10 years is not on the other side of that line, have fun and explore silly relationships with these fictional characters for once!! Let me have my toxic yaoi and toxic yuri in peace :(

Also I'm sorry about putting this long thing in your ask box, this escalated quickly

Agreed fully and also I'm gonna say something that's gonna rustle a lot of feathers–

People love SniperSpy. It's generally accepted that Spy is somewhere in his 50s to 60s, judging off Scout's age alone, and with SniperSpy he's sleeping with someone three years older than his own son.

And there is a absolutely nothing wrong with this when both parties are consenting adults. What I have an issue with is that I've seen a lot of people who ship SniperSpy then get on the arse of MedicScout shippers because Scout is "too young" for Medic.

My question is why? Why is it ok to ship Sniper, at 30, with Spy, a man at least 20 years older than him, but it's not alright to do the same with Scout, who's 27, and Medic, who's probably about 20 years older than him? Why is that? Why do you have an issue with one and not the other?

And it comes down to two things:

1. People think Scout looks too young. Which, I'm sorry, but at someone who's 5'2" and looks about 16-18 at all times (depending on whether or not I shave) despite being 23, fuck you. You do not get to decide if someone's physical appearance is "mature enough" when that person is a fucking adult. Get fucked.

2. Ableism. Scout is notoriously immature and often acts like a teenage. HE IS ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OLD. Maturity/behaviour ≠ age and the funny part is that these are the same people who tell you not to infantilise autistic people for perceived immaturity but then go on and infantilise A MAN WHO IS ALMOST THIRTY because he acts immature. Practise what you preach or get fucked.

People NEVER do this with Sniper and I'm not sure if it's because Sniper looks like he's 40 or because he acts like he's 40. But I'm inclined to think it's the latter, because people often do this with Pyro too as Pyro also often acts childlike.

So hey, if you do this, check yourself. Cuz you're probably being ableist. Ask yourself why exactly you think an almost thirty year old man can't have a romantic or sexual relationship with a man older than him when they're both mercenaries on a team of hired killers who kill people and break things FOR A LIVING. Are you normal about neurodivergent people? No, are you really?

#blu whos #tf2

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the-bloody-sadist · 2 months ago

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Hello! Fellow yanagihara hater here. Please share more of your views on a little life i beg because that book was so promising with its themes goddamn but then the writer had to fuck it up -

OH NOOOOO THE CHANCE TO BE A HATER WHATEVER WILL I DO.....

THANKS FOR ASKING.

I'm really glad to hear from someone who was also angry at the book and its author! I tend to be more bothered than usual when any form of media is popular for so-called "trauma representation", held up as a classic, etc., and then when I consume that media, I find out that the way it's written is more of a pretentious normie's view of "suffering", which, in my opinion, is disgusting. NOW. PLEASE BE REMINDED THAT I HAVE STRONG OPINIONS, AND ALSO TAKE THEM WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, AS I'M PARTICULARLY TRIGGERED BY WHAT I FEEL IS HORRIBLE TRAUMA REP. And a second grain of salt, too, since I did NOT read all of A Little Life (because I got too angry, knew exactly where it was going, and said FUCK YOU YANAGIHARA, I'm going to watch a video essay breakdown of the plot instead so I don't kill myself), and also watched behind the scenes interviews that made me hate Yanagihara even more.

If you're curious what video I watched that broke down the plot and confirmed all of my expectations on this book, it's here! I remember not agreeing with a lot of what that YouTuber said, because some things are silly to complain about in fiction and I don't believe in the whole "sexual abuse should not be shown in graphic detail", which I think was part of his discussion?? Bad memory, sorry. What I think is ugly about the book is the pile-on of RIDICULOUS amounts of trauma for Jude, to a degree that makes it a parody, almost comedically, of real trauma. From a writer's perspective, I'm furious at the way she used it and the way it succeeded at it's one job--NOT to help people understand the effects of trauma and CSA--but to make them cry. It's cheap, it's gross, and it casts all of Jude's trauma (for me) in the light of "this author was proud of herself for how much she could stuff into one boy just to make SURE you were devastated, while paying no special attention to make sure these traumas were handled with care". It's enraging to see how low the standard is for professional books that A Little Life is held up the way it is.

Now, don't get me wrong, her prose, while bogged down by excruciating and needless detail a lot of times, is very engaging. It's part of why I was so mad that it failed in the most important areas. I wanted it to be good! I really did! And I loved Jude, he would've been a wonderful character if not for her amateur decisions. Had she picked one or two traumas to focus on, created a realistic background for him, and had his death make for better impact and purpose to the plot, I'd probably have the book on my shelf as a top ten. But instead, I listened to her speak about how she did ZERO RESEARCH ON TRAUMA for Jude, apparently doesn't have trauma of her own that she's referencing (because then, no matter how much I disliked it, I would be more forgiving if she's pulling from her own experiences), and just...is so FLIPPANT about how she wrote it. Plus, in my personal opinion, I don't like her attitude in general. She comes off like a cringe edgelord for the slop she wrote, and I know so many authors who aren't even professionals that write trauma WORLDS better than she ever could.

Also, I'm so sorry, but the COVER??? What a perfect representation for the book, honestly. That old photo of the dude making an expression of pain that looks fake as fuck to me, just...eugh.

You know those gacha life cringe videos where the characters are all gory and talk about fucked up shit that happened to them, but it's extreme and ridiculous? That's what this book felt like once it dove into Jude.

When I write my own characters, I try to pick a single trauma for them and a couple coping mechanisms. It's important to me that one trauma isn't just tossed in there without regard for how much it changes someone's life, behaviors, and thought processes. Other traumas exist, of course, but they fit within the theme for what the character will represent. And I think it's important to have characters around them that will balance that trauma, a caretaker, a friend, and some sort of hope. Even if it might be true in real life that some people do have out-of-this-world experiences of trauma, there's not a lot of ways to correctly convey that in fiction without coming off as silly or over-imaginative. It quickly feels like the author is jerking themselves off in how "good" they are at making characters suffer, when for me, it's about how good they are at portraying how even a "small" trauma can affect the character deeply. I respect it more when media explores the subtle aspects of trauma, incorporating multiple side-effects instead of just one. Again, I know not everyone is as picky as I am. I'm trying to have more grace for what others think is realistic, but A Little Life is WAY over that line. Whenever I read or watch something that has overdone, overdramatic, or unrealistic depictions of trauma, it's intensely triggering, and sometimes I've become suicidal for like a whole week afterwards LMFAO, so I'm super passionate about this subject, and I think it's because I'm both a writer and a trauma survivor. Having CPTSD and watching shit like Bungou Stray Dogs get praised for "good PTSD rep" with ATSUSHI????? Straying a bit from the topic, but I lose respect for anyone who expresses that opinion.

Anyway, as a closing opinion, Yanagihara just sounds like a teen fanfic writer who crams their story full of misery and thinks she's done a great job just because there was a lot of it and people went “aww, so sad”. It just felt like trauma is a spectacle for her, not a crushing psychological experience.

I already feel misunderstood enough, as is. I already feel like my trauma has been disregarded by anybody who hasn't shared the same type of trauma. The last thing I need is confirmation that it'll continue to be misunderstood because of media depictions like A Little Life.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT, ANON! I hope I shared a lot of the same things you felt about the book!! I don't think I said everything as well as I wanted to, but I pushed the book out of my mind as much as possible after getting triggered by it, so I can't recall all of the details in full clarity. LMAO...

MUCH LOVE TO YOU!! And to leave on a positive note, I recently watched Room (with Brie Larson) and it was one of the BEST realistic representations of trauma I've seen in a LONG TIME. So that was nice!! It's in my favorites list now and I recommend it to everyone so you don't have to think about A Little Life anymore 🫵😡

#sadist’s answered asks #there are a lot of fictional works I feel this way about #idk why I'm so worried about being hateful on this one #but maybe it's because I didn't read it all for myself #so if you think my opinion is invalid #I get it

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thewhumpcaretaker · 2 months ago

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In the JW world what do you think is the general attitude of assassins, the High Table and so on toward psychiatry? I feel like they would totally dismiss it…they’d consider it pseudoscience for ordinary sheeple. Because otherwise they’d have to admit that pretty much everyone under the Table has some kind of personality disorder, PTSD, family issues, sociopathy etc. And they’d much rather think of themselves as superior to the rest of humanity, rather than inferior or damaged. So they have surgeons and probably physical therapy and so on, they’d be fine with self-medicating with alcohol and recreational drugs…but no shrinks, and you’ll get scornfully laughed out of any Continental bar if it gets out that you’re seeing one. Wdyt???

I've thought about this quite a lot (not because I've imagined giving every single one of my JW blorbos therapy or anything hehehe) but I mostly agree. I do think it's probably considered very shameful and isn't something most of them would even consider. But I think it's not so much that they see it as pseudoscience, rather an admission of weakness. I can't imagine it's common to admit to any illness within the High Table (anything more chronic than a bullet wound at least), because there's such an effort to hold onto power. If you're ill, then you're not in top form and this is a good time for an assassination attempt or for others to question your fitness to rule and start massing a mutiny against you. In the case of emotional vulnerability, that would include an opening for emotional attacks. I don't think the Table members are above sending hate mail or intentionally triggering someone's phobia or substance abuse issues as a form of punishment/manipulation. Psychological vulnerability is just one more thing that can be used against you in a fight.

On top of that, there's the confidentiality issues. A therapist holds knowledge of all of those psychological pain points, and a lot of people would want to buy that knowledge for a handsome price or torture it out of them. Imagine knowing how to make John Wick or the Marquis de Gramont have a breakdown at exactly the right time. Their enemies would definitely want that info. I think all assassins and especially Table members are taught not to reveal that much about themselves to anyone, because it's a security risk. So if you talk to a therapist, it's seen as reckless and foolish.

And then finally, I agree that they pretty much all have issues, and were raised by people who have issues. So they were taught that their issues are normal, and would have to admit that the way they were raised was really messed up if they're going to change. That's hard to do. This quote really sums it up: "they’d much rather think of themselves as superior to the rest of humanity, rather than inferior or damaged." When seeking help feels impossibly dangerous, and it would mean condemning your entire way of life anyway, it's easier to just pretend that nothing is wrong and that the dysfunctional parts of one's life are actually the superior parts. Therapy is for other people. Weak people. People who don't have bigger concerns, like staying alive and ruling. That's the average High Table stance, I think.

#john wick analysis #high table analysis #wickblr

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halfetirosie · 3 months ago

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⚡️⛈️🔥I'M HAVING A CONNIPTION🔥⛈️⚡️

(Scales 08 - 10 React-os!)

Maybe if I scream at the screen loud enough, the characters will listen to me!

1) (⊙ᗣ⊙) YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DESPICABLE.

YAKUMO IS GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO SAVE THEM---UNDENIABLY A GOOD/KIND THING, AND THEY'RE SEEING IT RIGHT BEFORE THEIR EYES---AND THEY STILL WANT TO FUCKING MURDER HIM?!?!?!

THESE UNGRATEFUL PRICKS?!?!?!?!

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH SWEAR WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS MY RAGE!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

THESE BITCHES LITERALLY WANT TO STAB THE PERSON PROTECTING THEM WHILE HIS BACK IS TURNED?!?!?!

@#^$$%^@@?!?!?!!!!!!

*static*

🎶 Do to the author's over-immersion into the story and subsequent excess amount of anger, we are experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait for us to fix the problem. Thank you for your patience. 🎶

🎶🎶🎶

*static*

These bitches are not "driven by fear," they are driven by their selfishness. It's so fucking unfortunate, because their actions make it seem like the way Kuya reviles humans is completely correct.

Yes, these particular humans are definitely worthy of Kuya's insults and cursing. But they do not represent all humans. Despite that, I know that this situation is just going to reinforce Kuya's group attribution error---he'll see this village as representative of humanity as a whole, and this, reinforce his general hatred of all humans. 🤦‍♀️

2) I am disgusted.

Kuya said the magic word---selfishness. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

These two-faced shitbags are so ungrateful.

First they try to bite the hand that feeds them, but as soon as they get a hint of vulnerability from Umi, they latch onto it to take advantage of him again. AS IF THEY DIDN'T TRY TO KILL A PRESUMED MERFOLK [just like they had already done in the past], LIKE, FEW MINUTES EARLIER.

The manipulation is OFF THE CHARTS.

This is a textbook abusive relationship.

3) Okay, I'm getting the sense that Umi is in a Quincy-esque situation.

Like Quincy, he's protecting the village because of some sort of promise with a now-deceased member of that community. (Yes, I know that in Quincy's case his friend later told him to forget about that promise, but my point still stands.)

Of course, unlike Quincy, Umi was never a part of the community himself, and he doesn't have much affection/ investment in the current community. (I don't think him saving the child in an earlier chapter goes against that idea. After all, it's a basic moral principle to protect kids.)

And look, I get it. Whoever he made a promise to was extremely precious; even more so in the context of a yokai's long life.

HOWEVER, THESE BITCH-ASS VILLAGERS DO NOT HAVE ANY REAL RESPECT FOR MERFOLK---OR FOR NATURE IN GENERAL.

Quincy's old tribe aren't particularly nice to him, but since they respect nature as a whole, they don't try to FUCKING MURDER HIM. They leave him be.

But this village??? THEY ARE SCUM.

JUST RUN, UMI!!! I'm sorry, but your friend is long gone. No amount of love for the deceased should bind you to a community that abuses you.

☠︎☠︎☠︎

4) LISTEN TO THE GRUMPY OLD MAN!!! HE ISN'T EVEN WRONG THIS TIME!!! 😭😭😭

THIS VILLAGE IS NOT WORTH IT!!!

Maybe, if their attitudes had changed from the past, they might be.

But they haven't changed. They are still evil.

5) WAIT A DAMN MINUTE---

So, you're saying that the promise wasn't indefinite?

And Umi doesn't necessarily go out of his way to do extra shit for this village---since the relic is almost out of juice???

THEN WHY ARE WE EVEN STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?!

It's not like the villagers are facing certain death here. THEY CAN JUST FUCKING MOVE TO THE MAINLAND!!!! Sure, they'll probably have a tough time adjusting to a new way of life + finding new was of subsisting, but they'll be fucking FINE!!!

6) See, I agree with Yakumo here. Not all humans are bad, and I'm sure that whoever Umi made a promise to was a great dude.

I know I'm just repeating myself at this point, but the evidence is undeniable; UMI'S HUMAN DOES NOT REPRESENT THE NORM ON THIS ISLAND.

🔥🔥🔥 THIS VILLAGE IS HOT GARBAGE!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

7) Just when I think this story can't get any darker---

Bruh. BRUH. 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Do ya'll realize the implications of this?????

Think about it; the merfolk and the humans were NOT friends in the past. They were strangers, and the human villagers massacred the merfolk and stole their land.

Meaning that this relic was never meant for the humans. A merfolk gave their life to make this relic for the benefit of their fellow merfolk, but the humans stole it.

Meaning that these despicable humans, on top of murdering the merfolk, have been desecrating a merfolk artifact for generations.

8) ---BITCH?!!!!! 🤬😡💢🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

THIS SHITTY LITTLE RAT SECRETLY FOLLOWS THEM, EAVESDROPS, AND IS HAPPY TO HEAR THAT UMI WOULD HAVE TO FUCKING DIE IN ORDER TO SAVE THEIR SHITTY LITTLE ISLAND?!?!?!?!

WHY THE HELL ARE THESE TWATS SO EAGER TO MURDER MERFOLK ALL THE DAMN TIME?!?!?!?!

I DON'T GET IT!!!! HOW CAN A WHOLE GROUP OF PEOPLE HAVE SO LITTLE HUMANITY?!?!?!?!

AND WHY THE FUCK IS UMI STILL JUSTIFYING HIS PROTECTION OVER THEM, EVEN WHEN THE CONDITIONS OF HIS PROMISE ARE BASICALLY ALREADY OVER?!?!?!

💢 (╯🔥 ᗣ 🔥)╯︵ ┻━┻

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

....

I have a REALLY BAD FEELING. I really hope I'm wrong, but I feel like Umi might actually sacrifice himself for these ungrateful, hypocritical, revolting scumbags.

And if he does, well....

Idk man, maybe I'll just have a heart attack and die.

😤😤😤

End of report

#nu carnival #nu: carnival #nu carnival event reactions #nu carnival eiden #nu carnival yakumo #nu carnival kuya

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thatswhatsushesaid · 2 years ago

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all my irreverence and shitposting aside I am genuinely alarmed by two trends I'm noticing in the mdzs fandom, tho this can obviously apply to other fandom spaces too:

younger fans (under age ~24) in general (as in I know this won't apply to everyone, don't @ me) seem to struggle with critical analyses of the canon if the analyses in question are longer than a handful of paragraphs. I understand the value of being succinct where possible since that helps with clearly communicating an idea to an audience. but there is a significant difference between presenting a succinct explanation of a complex idea, and presenting a shallow misrepresentation of a complex idea because you haven't taken the time to carefully read the source material and then think about it before drafting your response.

there's a big problem (again, predominately among younger fans, or at least those who publicly display their age on their profiles) in certain corners of this fandom with conflating a fan's sympathetic reading of the antagonist characters (e.g., jin guangyao and jiang cheng) with that fan's real world attitudes around such issues as violence against women and children, sex crimes in general, and class consciousness.

like. case in point, I just erased over half of this post because I anticipated that many people would skim over 60% of the content and jump straight to the angry keymashing. but it's worrying to me that this is most prevalent among younger fans because you guys are the ones who are up and coming in fandom spaces. you're the ones who are going to be driving these conversations. isn't it important to you to be sure that you are understanding what someone else is actually saying to you before you decide to tell them why they're wrong?

genuine request: can we collectively agree that no one in the mdzs fandom actually thinks rape, murder, corpse desecration, or child abuse is okay? can we collectively agree that, when a jgy or jc 'stan' attempts to contextualize jgy or jc's actions within the source material (or dares to draw a narrative parallel between jgy or jc and wwx), what we are not doing is trying to diminish the seriousness of rape, murder, corpse desecration, or child abuse in the real world?

if we can just reach some kind of mutual agreement on this point specifically, maybe we can move on from kicking this fierce corpse of a horse and start talking about, idk. the novel.

#do i dare put this in the tags #hmmm #i will contemplate #yeah i'm doing it #jin guangyao #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #mdzs meta

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francesderwent · 8 months ago

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(Ask 1/6) Just wondering what, in your interpretation of guilty as sin?, implies that ts isn't comfortable with her fantasies in any moral or ethical sense ? I think the song is a total jam but I'm not seeing the evidence and I'm curious about your thoughts. 1. She defends herself pretty strongly in the bridge (famous turning point/revelation of the "truth" in her songwriting) "what if I rolled the stone away," <escape/reject the repressive attitudes that link these thoughts & actions with guilt

"they're going to crucify me anyway" <if the resurrection imagery wasn't enough, now drawing an even stronger parallel between herself and the most Innocent Victim in all of history while doubling down on the "resurrective" action of her rejecting this moral judgement and choosing the fantasies because she sees it as a "judged if you do, judged if you don't" situation. Basically "I haven't done anything wrong (I haven't even touched this guy, it's all in my mind) but they'll 'crucify' me no matter what I do, so might as well do what I want," 2. Pair that with "what if the way you hold me, is actually what's holy" and "they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly, I choose you and me, religiously" Seems to make a pretty strong case for "I make my own 'religion' and its you&me/the love that i am chasing" (a theme painfully evident in so many of her songs as she lives out the eternally true "our hearts are restless until they rest in You") The "they don't know" also speaks to an attitude of "it's unreasonable and a mark of not understanding me and my suffering that someone would say I'm guilty of something/should change what I'm doing" 3. Putting all that aside, even the use of the question mark in the title and the repeated "how can I be guilty as sin? (implied answer: I'm not guilty)" seems to strongly indicate the theme of rejecting the guilt that has been "forced" upon her. Now, is ts comfortable/happy in this song, no, I would completely agree she is not! She is desperately pining for this man and wants to be with him so badly--she is obviously suffering, but, from what I can see, it seems to be stemming basically from her unrequited love, not a discomfort with the fantasies themselves. Hope tumblr doesn't eat any of my asks, sorry this turned into a veritable novel lol

thank you for taking the time to write the novel!!

okay so just as a general disclaimer I think "guilty as sin?" as a standalone song is on SUCH thin ice haha, it only becomes faintly valid in the light of the whole album. but I'm gonna give a real response as best I can:

I think the turning point moment or revelation of the bridge isn't actually about the shallow fantasies that the rest of the song entertains at all. the bridge is more real than the rest of the song because it's her contemplating actually leaving her current relationship. "what if they roll the stone away", in my interpretation, is her admission that this relationship has become a tomb, that it's killed her. but if she rolls the stone away and steps out of the tomb, if she dares to rise up from the dead (again), the public backlash will kill her, again, for daring to leave another unsatisfactory relationship (for daring to demand marriage actually!!)

this is just reiterating the same point but I think you're right that this is another "my religion is me/us/love" moment, but I think it's not about the fantasy. I think "I choose you and me religiously" is her making an act of faith that they're really going to be together soon, and what she's choosing is to try to make it happen. I think that's why she repeats "am I allowed to cry?" as the very last line of the song, because she's asking if she's allowed to cry about the dissolution of a relationship that she chose to walk away from.

I read the title differently! I think the implied answer to the question "without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?" is "I don't know--but I am." she doesn't want to feel guilty, cites reasons why she doesn't think she should ("there's no such thing as bad thoughts"), but keeps circling back. after the turning point of the bridge, Taylor often changes a few lines of the chorus to reflect the revelation, but in this song the chorus doesn't change--it actually goes back to the first, darker, less sexy version! and every time she still has to ask the question "how can I be guilty as sin". she never gets to escape the guilt.

it's also just very interesting to me that that line is the title. the song could've been "only in my mind" or "things we never did" or "our tryst", which in many ways fit the vibe of the song better, but it's not. the song is named not for the delusion she's chasing, but for the gut reaction she can't get rid of. she calls the fantasies "fatal", she says falling back into the hedge maze is "a way to die". she hopes they're magical, "a vow we'll both uphold somehow", but I think she can't quite ignore the reality that it's a vow she's speaking alone, in the middle of another un-vowed relationship. there's a question mark on it because she doesn't want it to be true, and also because the whole song is a hypothetical ("what if he's written mine on my upper thigh", not "he's written mine" etc).

in the context of the larger album, I think it becomes pretty clear that she thinks giving in to the fantasy destroyed every reality she had. it wasn't harmless, it wasn't romantic, it wasn't fated or magical, and it wasn't real. so if the song is saying, rather desperately, "how can entertaining these thoughts be really bad??", the album answers "look around at the wreckage of your world and your self-image and your idea of love"

#asks

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cherryxblossxms · 2 years ago

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Could you do headcanons A, F, I, U, X for Levi, Mammon, Satan, Simeon & Dia, please <3

I certainly can! Since there were several characters, some of these are a little short, sorry!

Leviathan

A for Aphrodisiac (What always turns them on?)

As I think we all know, Levi has a degradation kink. So something that almost always turns him on is when you get bossy with him and belittle him. Of course, it has to be in the right context/with the right buildup or it'll go south very quickly lol. But you giving him a cold attitude, telling him how pathetic and needy he is for you, it's embarrassing how quickly he gets hard and how hard he is.

F for Favorite (What do they find sexiest about their partner?)

Honestly, it's a little less sexy and more romantic, but he loves the way you're so willing to indulge his interests for him in bed. He was a bucket of nerves when he finally brought up role-playing (and by that, I mean cosplay) in bed, and he was practically in shock when you agreed to try it. You help him feel loved and normal (NOT a normie, though, he'll emphasize that) and it really helps his libido tbh.

I for Imagination (What do they fantasize about?)

One of his favorite fantasies is having you riding him on his gaming chair, perhaps even while he's in the middle of a campaign. That, or sucking his off beneath his desk while he's gaming. He just loves the idea of hiding that you two are doing something so dirty, when you two could easily be caught. The darker side to him, though, wants to be possessive and let the others know what you're doing, and that you're doing it for him.

U for Under (Who’s in charge and how?)

For the most part, you will be in charge. Don't get me wrong, his demon tendencies can come out in bed if you poke his buttons just right or play with his sin (get him just the right amount of jealous and he'll snap). But on most nights, he wants you to be in charge to ensure your comfort and pleasure, letting you initiate on your own terms. It's a little selfish, but just knowing you're approaching him because you want him like that makes him feel really good. Once you've been together for a bit or if you bring it up, he may be more open to taking charge more often.

X for X-Rated (What kind of porn do they watch or read?)

Tentacle porn and general hentai, sorry. True to his otaku ways, he also enjoys the naughty side of anime. It kind of plays into roleplay for him, but just imagining he's the big bad monster taking advantage of the hero with his monster tail (and double dicks, if you lean into that headcanon).

I also see him being fascinated by human-demon porn.

Mammon

A for Aphrodisiac (What always turns them on?)

What always turns him on is when you openly claim him in public. It doesn't need to be anything explicit, but you putting your hands on his chest, kissing him in front of others, or complimenting him really gets his engines going, and its a struggle not to pull you into the nearest alley to make out. If you make any kind of mark on him, such as scratch marks or hickeys, he's a mess once he sees it in the mirror, and all he can think about is returning you the favor. If you're already in bed, telling him that you're his or, even better, that he belongs to you, it drives him crazy. He loves when you're greedy with him. Honestly, he'd be embarrassed by how easy it is for you to turn him on if he wasn't so happy.

F for Favorite (What do they find sexiest about their partner?)

He loves the way you stand up for him against his brothers and make him feel wanted. Since day one, you've seemed to surpass or overthrow all expectations, and the way you indulge in his sin and reciprocate even by getting greedy for all of his attention makes him so happy and greedy for you back. It's especially sexy if you stand up to Lucifer and give him an earful, you know how to give demons a run for their money and it drives him insane with how attractive that is.

I for Imagination (What do they fantasize about?)

Tbh? Fucking you in the backseat or on the hood of his most expensive car. He can be a simple man sometimes. 🤷‍♀️ Also over the pool table. One of his favorite fantasies is winning it big at the casino and you servicing him as a reward, perhaps in front of the other players, making sure everyone else knows that he's yours and you are his.

U for Under (Who’s in charge and how?)

You are. Similar to Levi, he can have his dominant streak with the right prompts. But years of feeling underappreciated and worn down have kind of affected his confidence in taking charge with you. And in that same train of thought, similarly to Levi's as well, he likes you taking charge and knowing that you want him and love him that much. Later in the relationship, he might take charge more often as his confidence builds. He also just likes you bossing him around, although he won't admit that to your face hehe

X for X-Rated (What kind of porn do they watch or read?)

Tbh I don't think he has the attention or interest in written porn. He might enjoy some dirty mags here and there, old school style.

He loves watching homemade porn. I feel I've used this same answer but it just fits him so well, he loves that true connection between partners with honest reactions and real pleasure; he craves that loving touch and intimacy that means something. I think he's into light femdom or just generally scenarios where he'd be the sub, perhaps pegging? Edging videos are also big for him, he loves working himself up to a huge cumshot.

Satan

A for Aphrodisiac (What always turns them on?)

Honorary mention of cat ears. You're asking for a long and hard *wink wonk* night if you ever dress up with cat ears and a tail, it drives him absolutely wild. Same if you meow at him; it embarrasses the hell out of him but it causes an instant boner.

He also love love loves when you sit in his lap while he's reading, butt snug against his crotch. Even better if you're reading with him, making just the slightest movements that stimulate him, the mutual reading sessions do not last long before his boner is evident against your ass.

F for Favorite (What do they find sexiest about their partner?)

Tbh? Their intellect. Nothing incites a fire in his blood like a strong debate between you two, even if it becomes more of an argument towards the end. He just loves the way you hold your ground and never bend to him, and at one point, he may be guilty of intentionally angering you to create further tension. It's not long after that that his mouth is crashing against yours, fervent and needy.

I for Imagination (What do they fantasize about?)

Sorry but I gotta say pet play. I don't see Satan going all out with it, but definitely includes elements of it during sexy time here and there, such as collars, tail plugs, cat ears, and use of specific words. He loves imagining you on your hands and knees, calling you his good or naughty kitten, "milking" him until he's satisfied.

He also fantasizes about cockwarming with you while he's reading, or even fingering you while he reads. Just taking his time, enjoying your warmth and keeping you on edge with slight movements until you're begging him to cum.

U for Under (Who’s in charge and how?)

Satan is primarily in charge. He may occasionally let you take the reins, but for the most part, he likes to be in control of what's going on.

X for X-Rated (What kind of porn do they watch or read?)

He'd enjoy both visual and written porn, all that reading has definitely introduced him to some great written smut.

I see him into watching teacher or tutor scenarios, imagining him in their place while teaching you your Devildom studies. Seeing the actor's fingers buried between their "student's" legs, or punishing them for getting an answer wrong.

Simeon

A for Aphrodisiac (What always turns them on?)

Honestly, your kisses are an aphrodisiac to him. He can never get enough of your kisses, the feel of your lips on his, that breathless feeling he has as he gets lost in his passion and love for you. Especially if you two start French kissing, or kiss him in places besides his lips such as his neck and along his shoulders, he's hard almost instantly and ready for more.

F for Favorite (What do they find sexiest about their partner?)

I for Imagination (What do they fantasize about?)

He enjoys the sound of your voice. It's a calming presence when out in public, but in bed, it's sheer music to his ears and his driving force. The melody of your moans helps him gauge your pleasure level and definitely boosts his confidence to know how good you're feeling.

He also loves the way you make him feel emboldened in bed, letting him know it's OK to feel certain things, moan and groan how he wants, and showing him all the best spots to touch and how to touch (on you and him both). He's not a stranger to sex but being with you makes the whole thing feel like new territory, and sometimes his nerves get the best of him.

Most times he just wants some soft intimacy, nothing fancy, just simply having the day to roll around in bed and indulge in your tastes and sounds.

However, specifically, he does catch himself thinking of oral sex with you often, although he feels it to be kind of dirty. Either with his face buried between your legs and indulging in your taste, or with your soft lips and wicked tongue wrapped around his cock, pulling the sweetest whimpers from his lips. He's thought about the 69 position many times upon learning about it but gets much too embarrassed to ever bring it up to you.

U for Under (Who’s in charge and how?)

It is honestly 50/50 for him. As we know, Simeon seems meek and mild at first glance, but he really has a commanding streak when he needs to. The same applies in bed. He loves when you take charge, using him how you see fit and guiding him in how you want him to please you. But some nights, especially if he's feeling adventurous or needing to relieve some stress or anger, he's an excellent dom in getting you to writhe in pleasure beneath him.

X for X-Rated (What kind of porn do they watch or read?)

Diavolo

He's definitely more into reading porn than watching it; he likes some good, old-fashioned romance -> smut stories. He's a writer, after all, and sometimes some good smut really stimulates his desire to write.

However, when he doesn't have the patience for reading a lengthy story, he will indulge in watching porn instead. One type that he enjoys, but is also incredibly embarrassed by, is angel x demon porn. He is incredibly susceptible to the forbidden fruit idea, purity mixing with sin, and it's something he may never even tell to his partner, at least not until you're well into your relationship together.

A for Aphrodisiac (What always turns them on?)

Anything that reminds him of your size difference, or rather strength difference. Regardless of your physical size, the Prince of the Devildom will always have you beat out in sheer power, and it drives him crazy how easily he could bend you to his will, manhandling you with the ease of picking up a piece of paper.

I for Imagination (What do they fantasize about?)

F for Favorite (What do they find sexiest about their partner?)

He loves your eyes, the way he can see your sincerity in them and your passion. He also loves that you don't treat him differently for being royal, looking at him directly and without fear instead of cowering. You treat him like any other... man? Demon? You're not afraid of him like others are and see him for him, and it makes him feel like he can let loose completely with you, including in bed. He doesn't want any pretenses with you, so being able to be a little goofy and sincere with you makes his heart pound.

Given how often he's busy filling out important paperwork, he's frequently fantasized about railing you over his desk during working hours. If your and his arousal gets on the papers, he couldn't care less if someone else notices (in reality, he cares very much, but sometimes he wants to toss that to the wind).

He's also fantasized about being buried in your warmth during meetings, not caring if the other participants knowing what's happening between you two or maybe even showing off by fucking you in front of them. He just loves the idea of making it clear that you are his, and none of them could ever hope to please you like he can.

U for Under (Who’s in charge and how?)

Diavolo is in charge. He's a service dom, for sure, his focus is entirely on your pleasure and satisfaction. He doesn't mind if you want to try being on top, from time to time, but mostly, he'll be in charge of activities for the evening. Of course, this is with your consent and knowledge of what he has planned and always implements a system to keep things in check throughout.

X for X-Rated (What kind of porn do they watch or read?)

Answered here!

#obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me simeon #obey me diavolo #obey me shall we date #obey me smut #obey me hcs #spicy minx 🔥

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