#and it's hard
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Keeping Them In Character...
It’s so interesting what you wrote about fixing Morpheus in the other post, @rriavian. I didn't want to take that one too off topic, hence I made a new one. I hope this is okay, because I love talking about these things, especially with other writers (everyone who reads this, writer or not, feel free to join in). I think I’ve said this somewhere else before (can’t remember where): If we keep him in character, there is no fixing him anyway.
But fanfic wouldn’t be fanfic without those attempts, and I totally get why. I want a different ending for him, too, alas, not in canon, even if that might sound contradictory. If they touched the ending in the show, I’d honestly be pissed off, but that’s my personal problem, and Neil can do with it whatever he wants—it’s his story. So I guess every fic that sees him alive at the end starts with the premise that we have to bend him into shape ever so slightly to make it possible. To me though, there’s a world of a difference between that and basically turning him into an OC with no resemblance to Morpheus bar name and looks (not saying that isn’t fair, it’s just not for me because if I wanted that, I’d write an OC, because that’s what he would be to me).
Morpheus is not weak. I even get why some people who mainly came to the Sandman via the show might be drawn into that direction initially, because we obviously see him very low at the beginning (I’m hesitant to say “at his lowest”). But after that, he pretty much stands in his power again (with ups and down obvs)—a power that burdens him for a multitude of reasons I don’t want to go into now, otherwise I’ll still sit here tomorrow. Wrote about it a million times though.
I think the fundamental misunderstanding is that anyone can fix him. So whoever we pair up with him can only walk with him, but he’ll need to take the steps himself, and more importantly: He would need a reason to want to do that. And yes, that’s exactly what my OC tells him at some point because she suffers, and she’s done with it despite understanding him on a deep level and accepting who and what he is—I think you're right when you say there’s a tendency in fandom to turn one half of the relationship into some kind of martyr and/or “void filler” to save someone. And the tricky thing about Morpheus is: He actually is looking for something to fill a void (which, to stress that again, doesn't mean he isn't powerful, so it's not to be mistaken for general weakness). And both in The Sandman and in real life, that never leads to anything good, but I can see why it's tempting to fall into that trap because his character lends itself particularly well to that type of trope (and I even play around with that in the first part of my fic, but it was also clear to me that it won't end there).
Now, this obviously isn’t real life, a story doesn’t necessarily have to lead to something good, but the most important question, to me, was always: What would make him take said steps himself, and above all: WANT to take them? Because truly, that’s where it all falls down in canon. And there is enough scope to explore that in quite a few different ways in my view.
For me, it was always clear that it can never be through wanting to change who or what he is on a fundamental level (that’s why I’m not into retired!Dream AUs, because they would fundamentally change who he is. Again, totally fine if people want to explore that, it's just not for me). I honestly believe he would bristle at that and recoil/retreat. Because it would just add to what is at the core of his very dilemma: If you want to change who and what he is, you basically admit you don’t truly understand him (not even those closest to him truly do), and that’s part of what breaks him (I say “part”, because there are more things in the mix than one can shake a stick at). And there is a clear difference between his being capable of change (we all know he is) and wanting to change him. They are not one and the same, but sometimes, fandom treats them as if they were.
Misunderstanding him, misinterpreting him is inherent to his being: He is Dream—forever out of reach, forever nebulous and unreal and weird and prone to be misunderstood/misinterpreted unless you stop trying and just trust the process/intuition--otherwise, it wouldn’t be (a) D/dream. It truly applies to all that he is. And you see what happens when he tries to rationalise things himself: Although he understands the boundaries between dreams and reality and keeps them in place, he is UNreality, and forever will be. And the way that gets ignored in fandom sometimes baffles me. Although it also doesn’t, because of course we’re human, and we want things to be real.
Back to those steps: I personally think he would never take them for himself because he doesn’t believe he has a story, and outright centring himself as the main character who is in charge of his own story is something he will always deny himself. But I think that’s also the way in? Because if he could perceive, at least initially, that he is part of someone else’s story and that they WANT him in that story (all that he is and isn’t, including all that is broken) with full acceptance but without complete self-denial. That they don’t try to change him, because they understand what the unreal is (and that requires a very particular type of person). That he would want to try because the love he has for them weighs heavier than how little he loves himself (was it you, @stellerssong who recently also wrote something along those lines, or am I making that up?). And that by doing that, he gradually learns to see himself through someone else's eyes. And once on that path, he would maybe, just maybe, start to understand that indeed he has a story of his own, and that he might be able if not to entirely rewrite, but at least to keep on writing it from this moment onward. Like everyone who believes (because believing something is possible means trusting in it despite it not being real, and trusting in the process rather than the result. He knows the power this wields over everyone but himself--not because it’s not true for him but because he won’t allow it. But maybe he could get himself to a stage where he allows it). That it's not about fixing anything really, but growing enough around what's broken and always will be, instead of trying to make it smaller or go away.
Yes, I do believe that might be possible, although there's much more to it than I've written here because it's incredibly complex, and it requires a lot of give and take, compromise and yes, pain along the way. And maybe it might not work at all (I never really 100% know where I end up when I write because my characters always, always make those decisions for me, and despite setting out with a plan, I almost never end up where I had initially intended to go. So if you asked me today, I couldn’t promise that I truly know where my current WiP is going and who will be where at its end, and it is very frustrating at times because I’m not always happy with what these guys are doing. At the moment, I'm truly not). But I believe he would at least try if someone who allowed for those dynamics were around. And that’s why I wrote an OC, because while I can see one or two canon characters that get fairly close to what I'd envision (and none of them are one half of the bigger ships), I ultimately couldn’t do it with them because there was something in their established dynamics that threw it off for me. Unless I would have pulled at least one of them (probably both) OOC to a degree that felt too much for me. But I'm always super interested in other people's process and line of thinking.
But yeah, that’s the precarious dance between trying to keep him in character while also working towards a different ending (that's obviously far less of a problem in one-shots). If that will ever work—who knows…
#sandman fanfic#the sandman#sandman#dream of the endless#morpheus#fanfic writing process#also somewhat of a >>>#sandman meta#trying to keep them in character#and it's hard
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
isn't this. so everything though
#i cant even begin to unpack this#or well i Am unpacking it thats why im drawinc#and it's hard#enstars#torikasa#mar's midnight rambles
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love people. I love humanity. I love nature animals bugs plants the stars the moon art music dancing singing i love everything so much
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just got yet another filthy idea but WHO'S GONNA WRITE IT BECAUSE IT AIN'T GONNA BE ME
#xoxobee#writer's block is the worst#it's a really good idea too god#but i feel like i've only been writing smut recently#and it's HARD#(no pun intended)
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i keep running out of elements on carrd it's so frustrating LMAOOO.
#just trying to fit all of dp & wolverine's information on one carrd#and it's hard#ooc. ⇁ part time homo … full time deadpool lovebot.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone have a list of good songs for character playlists?
#I'm on the lookout for more that fit#and it's hard#why are 99% of songs about romance and romance only?
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
my ex best friend always openly admired my capacity to move on from a show the minute it got shitty or otherwise annoying and looking back it should have been foreshadowing LMAO
#i'm so sorry#i had a couple of beers and i'm being petty as hell#tbh she still lives rent free in my head so whos truly winning here tbh?#i mean this was an extremely important relationship for me for most of my 20's so i think i'm allowed to take some time to be over it tbh#and i also think that accepting that it's over means accepting that a huge part of my life#once again my 20's (my 'youth' if you will -i'm still young i know that but you know what i mean-)#is truly truly over#and it's hard#but honestly i've been rereading old personal diaries and jesus fucking christ the way we've always been toxic like woooow#we had those high highs and those miserably low lows like this shit was crazy smdh#not even just blaming her because i was also needy AND avoidant at the same time which is an annoying ass mix#anyway what was it that john waters' dad said after seeing pink flamingo?#'That was pretty funny! I hope I never have to see it again! :)'#yeah that about sum it up at this point lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gotta be honest here, my depression is absolutely terrible on most saturday nights nowadays, including tonight, but I'm not gonna let it define me. I'll fight it one way or another. Succeeded banishing it once, and I can do it again.
#it's gonna be better in the morning#it will pass#just gotta think about the positive stuff and the progress made#and it's hard#personal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me for the next god knows how many days because I can't go watch neither Barbie nor Oppenheimer in the foreseeable future
#trying to find a day that works for both me and my friend i promised to go with#and it's hard#while oppenheimer is just a big question mark#let's see how much time i can go with no spoilers#barbie#oppenheimer
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
🩸🧂
hi wash (。・ω・)ノ゙
the ask this is all about
🩸 Does this character ever get violent (with others, objects, themselves) when feeling any certain emotions?
Vayne calms mild irritation with cracking sounds. A pencil, knuckles, neck, anything. Although she doesn't take out her irritation on people.
Grieving and powerless. And that makes her violent to any cause of this felling.
The father and son, both bodies lying on the floor. Neural circuits fried as slowly as the latest update allows her.
Open messages, conveniently tagged and separated, a spring catalogue of atrocious inhumanity.
With a full wall of human ferocity, gently divided into "dead", "unconsious", "drugged", "child" and more.
Than she ever wanted to see. She doesn't want, but can't make herself stop reading.
Judy is a good friend, she knows her business. At times like these can't stomach the fact it exists.
With an uncheck of pain limits and neural impulse calibration the entire archive of gore is turned into a color-corrected death sentence, echo of what has already been scripted, assaulted and sold. Death sentence for anyone coming to see, to, it is sickening, enjoy. For every view is a crime itself.
The retribution is calming.
But why does it still hurt.
🧂 What's the state of your character's kitchen? What kind of foods do you find in it? Is it... clean?
Uncluttered. Read "empty". She owns one or two pieces of every needed utencil and tableware, like one plate, one-two glasses and knives.
Any sort of "oh, this fork is 2 mm bigger and is for fish, and don't confuse it with one for the main course, the same looking, but 3.3 mm wider" is not for her. She liked Arasaka corporate dinners, for they used chopstics, and these 2 pieces of wood are universal. Also that's mainly why chopsticks are her utensil of choice.
She can cook, but doesn't feel like it often, so you will mostly find pricey organic takeouts and some eggs and minced beef for when she needs a quick meal. No coffee. It's tea or energy drinks.
She dislikes most synth food, save for synth-berries. Basically a vitamin gel with popping shell.
#that quest with the fam of xbd editors hits hard#wish cp had more quests with such atmosphere#it's not big action or some immensely futuristic stuff#but the way it's given: like something casual. father and son editing videos for sale. as a family business. this makes it so much real.#and it's hard#not a writer but the idea of bd turned into a weapon striking right into the brain is my canon and the only way this quest shall end for me#cyberpunk 2077#cp2077#oc: vayne#fem v#cyberpunk v#my stuff#my stuff: txt#my stuff: playground
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
150K notes
·
View notes
Text
77K notes
·
View notes
Text
get yourself a main character whos two primary emotions are "little cunt" and "catatonic with grief"
#origimals#rotmhs#화산귀환#this is about my pookie boygrandpa chung myung#i wanna see him cry so hard he throws up 💕
61K notes
·
View notes
Text
(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms
#i know we are all neurodivergent and executive disfunction and routine disruption is kicking our ass and it's hard. but you have to.#and i dont even mean like. travel to another country i mean#take the other bus home#or buy a different tea brand#YOUR BRAIN IS A MUSCLE EXERCISE IT.
51K notes
·
View notes
Text
could you imagine trying to navigate this bar drunk, this is the 9th circle of hell
71K notes
·
View notes