#and it's got one of the only ever coming out to a conservative family scenes that ever got me actually worried. and he isnt even gay!!!!

[fellator]

okay I watched épouse-moi mon pote, which is not yaoi, but not not yaoi either. fun movie. one and a half hours of blissful oblivion

[cosmicanemoia]

Kiss and Romance

Amelia Shepherd x Reader

Love Me Till You Leave Me part 7

Even though you're the one who asked Amelia out on a date, it was Amelia's idea to have dinner on a fancy restaurant.

It wasn't your kind of date, though it wasn't your first time having a date in a fancy restaurant. Amelia just assumed this is your usual scene cause you have friends who are doctors. A father who's a high-ranking officer. An ex who was in Boston for a Catherine Fox Award Ceremony. Amelia can't be blamed. You were friends and surrounded by rich people.

During your date, you found out that Amelia have four blood siblings, and she is the youngest of them and two chosen sisters. She has a kid named Scout, whom she co-parent with Link and Owen. She had a brother who was a neurosurgeon who died because someone failed to do a CT scan or burr holes. Three sisters whose name you don't remember because she didn't talk about them with much enthusiasm as she did her brother. She talked about Meredith and Maggie, and you can tell how much she care about them because she talked about them with warmth and gentleness in her voice.

Amelia, on the other hand, found out that you only have one sister. And that you came from a Conservative and religious family, and that you're the black sheep. She thinks that's one thing you have in common except you're better than her, you don't think that, but she knows it. She also found out that you don't stay in the same place for a long time, meaning that you move around a lot. That made her frown a little to herself.

You're now about to have the dessert, but you excuse yourself for a minute and go to the bathroom, amelia followed seconds after without you knowing.

When you come out of the stalls after you pee, you see her washing her hands. You washed your hands too. Right after you dried them, Amelia stops in front of you, which stops you in your tracks. She leaned in to smell you. "You always smell so good. What is your secret?"It's just th--" she cuts you off before you finish your sentence saying, "No. Don't tell me." You chuckled and walked forward, causing Amelia's back to be pushed against the wall. You put your hands on the wall, trapping Amelia, then you lean down, your neck is right in front of her lips, you moved closer, the skin of your neck almost meets her lips. "Here, let me help you," you said. Amelia inhaled as deep as she could inhaling your scent that she had grown to love. Before she exhaled, you moved your face to face hers, so you could kiss her. The kiss is your dessert. You move your hand that was on the wall to cup her face, and you move your other hand down to her waist.

You both were so lost in the moment that no one noticed the phone had rang three times, but you were pulled out of the clouds by a loud banging in the door, someone yelling to hurry up. You pull out from the kiss, and Amelia tries to chase your lips, still wanting for more, but you put your forehead to hers, and you both laugh.

Amelia got another call. This time, she's able to answer it. She's needed in the hospital for an actual emergency this time. You tell her it's okay and give her a quick kiss and push her to go. "Take care, Ames. I had a really good time!" You shouted at her. She gives you a flying kiss and waves at you, shouting, "Me too! Smell you later!"

Amelia went right home after she tended to the emergency and fell asleep right away, with a smile on her face. You wake up later than usual, not because you were tired from last night but because you were so at peace and you were more comfortable than ever.

A couple of days later, you went knocking at Amelia's door. You know she's home because you asked your friend who happens to be her boss, when will she have free time.

"Who the hell is knocking at my door this early in the morning?" She shouted, but it was muffled by the door, so you didn't hear it clearly. When Amelia opened the door, you could see the frustration in her face, but it quickly went away when she realised it was you. "Ames. Good morning! Is this a bad time?" I can co-" "No. No, no. It's fine. What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Amelia cuts you off. You replied, "Yes, everything is fine. I just want you to come with me. Like on a date, DATE. Since you took me to a fancy restaurant, it's only fair of me to take you somewhere." Amelia asked you to come in and wait for her while she gets ready.

Amelia doesn't have any idea where you're taking her. You don't too, you just got up and decided to take her out on a date.

Your first stop is in your favourite food track. You ordered your favourite food, and you asked Amelia what she wanted. Once you got your food you both sat down at the table, you make jokes, and make each other laugh out loud which turn the heads of some curious people, but you both didn't care if the others are annoyed by your laughter, and you only cared about making each other laugh.

When you finished eating, you rested for a while before heading off to your next destination.

You were aboard the ferry admiring the view. Amelia looks back at the city inhaling the smell of the sea. "What a beautiful view," she said. "So beautiful!" You said while looking at her who was still looking at the city from afar, when she turns to look at you, you turn to look at the waters and let out a small, contended smile.

Moments later. You asked if you could hug her, to which she agreed. Your arms are around her, holding her tightly, your chest pressed against the back of her head. The wind blowing your hair and the sun kissing your skin. It wasn't cold, it wasn't very warm, it was just right, it was cozy.

When the ferry ride was over, you took her hand and dragged her around just sightseeing. You called a taxi and ride till you get to the space needle. Once you get there, it was time for lunch. Once lunch was over and you both had rested, you asked for the check and paid the bill, leaving a generous tip.

You stand up from your seat and hold your hand out for Amelia to take and ask her, "may I have this dance?" Amelia took your hand, she nodded confused, then stood up and said,"But there's no music. " You reached down in your pocket, took your phone out, and your earpods. You walked to the observation deck. You put one of the earpods to her ear and one to yours. You slowed dance for hours.

Amelia felt as if all of her hurt and problems had melted away. She thought to herself that she would want to be at that moment forever, but all things passed, so she engraved this memory to her brain.

Both of your arms are now wrapped around each other, swaying your bodies back and forth. Amelia let out a contented sigh, then chuckles a little before she say "you sure know how to sweep a woman off of her feet." You give her a soft laugh and replied "only the best for the best woman" "I bet you say that to all the ladies" she said sarcastically "only to the woman whom I think deserves it." You replied, sarcasm present in your tone.

You spend the whole day with each other. Not just the day, you also spend the whole night with each other. ;)

[yolowritter]

Anybody order an Evil Emilie Au?

Hello there everyone, and welcome! I'm back on my bullshit and 99% sure I talked about this before, but who cares? This, this wonderful thing is the Games of Innocence Au! Did you ever want a world where Emilie is a psychopath? Did you ever imagine her being as morally grey as they come yet still trying to be a mother to her son? What about if it was Gabriel who used the Peacock instead? What if she's replaced him as Hawkmoth? Empress actually, but still! And what somewhere down the line, she tries to manipulate Nathalie into helping her?

What if Emilie accidentally falls in love with her best friend? This absolute masterpiece is one of my favorite show re-write ideas of all time, and I've got some sweet 9.5k words for you guys to enjoy right here! Thing is, since I already have an Au that's over 300k words long, and rapidly approaching 400k...not to mention the next huge project on my list (a conservative estimate of 500k words)...I will not be writing the Evil Emilie Au in it's entirety. Most of it is a show rewrite anyway, and I simply don't have the time go through each individual episode and change it so that psycho!Emilie is there instead of mr Mothballs. I'm currently trying to write the finale, since it is the single best part and my personal favorite scene, hopefully to post it both here and on the Archive when I'm done.

However! I can and will rant about it until the end of time, assuming someone asks! And since the voices in my head did, here's an entire analysis about this version of Emilie! It's right below the cutoff, but I'd highly recommend to first read the fic! So here's the Ao3 link, hope you enjoy!

Alright then, welcome back! I hope it was a good read! Now as a disclaimer, I am not a mental health specialist, and might be confusing the terms "sociopath" and "psychopath" here, but I did read that sociopaths often struggle to control their emotions and act erratically (which Emilie doesn't, she has great self-control), where psychopaths have difficultly forming any emotional connections, so I feel like the latter term describes this Au's Emilie much better. Let's get right down to business, and explore (this) Emilie Agreste's mind, shall we! Obvious spoiler warning for the above fic.

Firstly, I'd like to make sure we're all on the same page with what kind of person Emilie is! Whenever I refer to her I'm obviously talking about this Emilie, so don't confuse it with canon. I have another upcoming post abt that. Her main attribute is that life as a concept is permeated by a general sense of boredom. Wake up, do tasks that only matter because she's told they do, sleep, repeat. Emilie was born into a rich family, which immediately means expectations. I'm assuming that she was kept pretty isolated aside from eventually starting school, so the only emotional connection Emilie formed in her early life was her sister, Amelie. She does genuinely care about her sister in a way that Emilie just can't bring herself to for her parents or staff, though she is nice to the latter and appreciates the work they do for her. Her parents are just stuck-up snobs but who cares? And so, Emilie shows this care the only way she knows how. Being perfect. Excelling at everything she does, getting the top grades in class, you all know the drill. The only thing she doesn't have is friends, and hangs out mostly with her sister. But even with Amelie, who she feels very strongly for...Emilie has a hard time expressing these feelings. For an example, see this flashback when they are sitting together in the garden:

“Sister…do you love me?” Amelie asks in a soft tone, her voice barely loud enough not to be carried away by the wind. Emilie recalls that she must have been... ten, maybe closer to eleven? And in all her admittedly few years, she never felt her heart stop beating as suddenly as when she registered Amelie’s words. “It’s- it’s just- …m’ sorry, Em. I… I don’t know, but whenever you smile at me...” the girl lets out a tiny sigh, nervously fidgeting with a stray strand of platinum-blonde hair. “It’s the same smile mum has when people are coming over…”

Emilie remembers it as clear as day—the way that the soft blades of gray grass between her fingers felt as if they’d been sharpened enough to draw out blood. Why…why would Am ever think she didn’t love her? Emile had done everything she was expected to do! She kept up her good grades like father wanted, always smiled and politely socialized with mum’s friends and family whenever they came over, and- …and she’d been nice to Amelie. Her twin sister, the constant presence in her life that truly felt like family…did not seem to think so. Or, maybe, Emilie had messed up somehow and given her the same bland niceness that the world would present her with day in and day out. But what else could she do? Wasn’t this what family meant? Just... be nice to one another and keep up with what was asked?

And over here, notice the way Emilie thinks of herself as a corpse, as not alive, even at such a young age:

“I- I’m sorry, Am,” she manages to whisper, even as confusion washes over Emilie’s mind. But…this is her sister. The one person who might understand how she feels about all of this, how the world itself registers only in dull shades of gray, how she can barely tell cold and hot apart, or how her heart sometimes feels like it’s stopped beating for hours at a time. “It’s hard for me to feel,” Emilie says, in the same reserved tone that’s always marked her sister’s voice.

And yes, obviously I know I'm the writer of the whole Au. I'm not patting myself on the back with these scenes, I'm just trying to get the point across. Emilie's life has always been that same dull grey, and the only people who can make it go away are Amelie, Adrien, Nathalie, and (to a lesser extent) Gabriel. She's been wearings masks her whole life, trying to be accepted by others but knowing that nobody would ever like who she truly is. And when she's alone...the thoughts come back, she can't tell if she is alive to begin with. Quote from the fic:

"Oftentimes, Emilie isn’t even able to feel her own heartbeat, never mind registering the expanding and collapsing of her lungs with every breath. When left alone and with nothing to catch her eye, Emilie could easily fool herself into thinking she’s some kind of undead or a ghost haunting the manor’s halls with twisted, quickly-fading memories."

Just to be clear here, Emilie suffers from deep depression. She feels isolated and alone, depending on the very few people who are perceptive enough to see even a tiny bit under her many masks, and she gets extremely attached very quickly. She isn't unable to love, since she (at the timeframe of the fic) has started to fall for Nathalie despite actively trying to manipulate her, but it's an extremely difficult mental situation to even begin dealing with. Emilie has hyperfocused on her family, and especially Adrien, her son. She isn't possessive and does genuinely love him, but there are obvious complications with their relationship. I'll get to that in a bit, but let's backtrack to her childhood one last time.

Emilie has absolutely no moral qualms with murder. Wow, that is a special combination of sentences right there! But in all seriousness, she thinks in a purely black-and-white kind of way. Emilie's #1 priority are her people, and for them she would burn the world to cinders. If anybody even looks at Amelie wrong, they will be wiped off the map for no reason other than the fact that this person was percieved as a danger. Emilie is that level of extreme in her protective streak. To give a few examples related to her sister, right after that flashback between the two of them, Emily recalls finding out that a slightly older girl was bullying her sister at school. And in a move that would make Ashley Graves proud, she straight up murders that child. No hesitation, no grievances, no regret. That girl was a threat to Amelie, and got swiftly eliminated. No questions asked, even at the grand-old age of 11.

Furthermore, Colt Fathom is straight-up dead in this Au. Emilie killed him when she came to visit her sister and nephew, staging a company emergency and sabotaging both his car engine and breaks, just to make sure. Can't take any chances with Colt of all people. Again, another threat to her sister eliminated, with Amelie's (implied) knowledge and support. The only reason she didn't kill him before the wedding is because Amelie personally convinced Emilie that she was willing to take on the burden for their family's sake. And also to use Colt's connections behind his back. Who doesn't love a good scheme?

Now...Gabriel and Nathalie never realized who exactly they were dealing with. It's worth mentioning here that Nathalie was actually Emilie's college roomate, and Gabriel was studying in the same university. Little detail, but I wanted to add it because Emilie canonically went to France to further her education. And Amelie got to work making friends in high places while Colt was busy in the 'murican bars downtown or something. Listen, all my homies hate Colt Fathom, and all you need to know is that the police didn't find enough of him to put in a casket. Anyway, Nathalie was studying business and finance, Emilie and Gabriel studied creative arts, and they met during their college years. The thing is, Emilie did love Gabriel. Only...not exactly the way he loved her. Quote again:

"Ever since she’d met him, Gabriel had been downright lovely. Polite, bookish, and a little nerdy, but with a creative spark powerful enough to bring forth an inferno of passion for his work. And he was also very loyal, most of all to the pretty popular girl who’d taken an interest in him and decided to befriend him in their first few days of college. Gabriel Agreste had turned out to be far more than just an interesting critter, and he was admittedly one of the extremely few people in this world Emilie had ever felt for, even if she was not fully able to reciprocate his feelings. Well…not in the way that Gabriel wanted, at least. Of course she loved him, hence why she obviously married him later on in life, but the man was…more of a cute, adorable puppy than a husband. If she were to put it crudely, Gabriel was far too easy when it came to matters of the heart."

Yeah...poor guy didn't notice the Yandere even after he married her. Also, another detail is that the reason why Emilie even took interest in Gabriel is because he saw through almost all her masks, believe it or not. Aside from the rampant psychopathy and slightly murderous tendencies, Emilie Graham De Vanily was an open book to him. Oh well, sometimes she ends up being crazy! What can you do? But anyway, worth mentioning that this Gabriel is far closer to his Reverse!Gabriel counterpart in terms of personality, and never acts in the callous, cold way we see in canon. Granted, we don't see what he was like before Emilie's canonical demise, but I don't like leaving room for implications on this matter. So you get your Good Parent Gabriel Agreste tag and you'll like it too!

As for Nathalie...there's an entire four and half posts' worth of ranting to do, so I'll just leave you with what the fic already has for now. Suffice it to say, she's very much into Emilie but knows she shouldn't be. I'm sure that with Empress trying to emotionally manipulate her into keeping the basement fridge life support pod thing a secret, that's going to go very well! Especially when the villainess herself is accidentally falling in love with Mayura! The Eminath is extremely strong with this one...

But anyway, about Adrien! Considering that even in canon, Emilie still wore his Amok-ring inside her sleeping pod, it's obvious that this Emilie will be wearing it too, right? Absolutely! And guess what? Thanks to a little help from an Akumatized Nathalie (prior to Origins in this Au), she magically enchanted the ring to make it literally impossible to unwillingly remove from her finger for as long as she's alive. Control issues, much? Seriously though, she does love Adrien very deeply, and does her best to be a mother. Emilie knows that he loves her back, and absorbs that love the same way a starved wolf devours fresh meat. She isn't oppressive and does her best to give him certain freedoms...but Adrien also never went to school in this Au. In her defense, she'd have little issue with it normally, but Emilie also wants to start her supervillainess career on the same year...and the thought of Adrien being caught in the crossfire genuinely terrifies her. Plus, in canon he does get involved in several Akuma attacks because of Gabriel, so... He still manages to get out of the house long enough to bump into Fu, hence Chat Noir, but doesn't ever meet Marinette and co. Not even for the Gum Incident.

In that case...hello Marichat! But again, that's for another Games of Innocence post. Today we focus on our resident Yandere! Believe me, it will become extremely evident why I call Emilie that once I post about her relationship with Nathalie/Mayura. Just trust me on this one. Back to Adrien, his dearly beloved mother is very much that. Beloved. But he is slowly starting to understand that something might be wrong with his home life, and tries to talk to Emilie about it.

This, I think, is an excellent time to talk about the color-coding in this Au. In a lot of my works I incorporate color theory and those meanings into stuff like aura colors, presences, Luka Vision™ (listen my hc is he has Synesthesia), etc. Obviously Adrien is supposed to be a vibrant green. Fresh start, new life, we've heard this all before. And Emilie...as Empress, she is a dark purple, because she's embracing her mystic side, and going absolutely wild with any and all magic shenanigans involving the Miraculous. But like I said above...in those moments where she's alone, not clinging to Adrien's side, or talking to Nathalie, or spending time with Nooroo...she's a dull, dead grey. The same tone that's haunted her since childhood. As a side note, Emilie doesn't abuse her Kwami. Nooroo actually thinks they could be good friends. You know, if she'd drop the quest for ultimate power and all.

Speaking of that, as far as Nathalie knows, this is all for the sake of bringing Gabriel back to life. Which...is true, yes. He's Adrien's father and Emilie did marry him, even if as "just a friend". She did actually have feelings for him by the way, just supressed them to avoid hurting herself when she realized he wasn't seeing her psycho side and then convinced herself that said emotions were better off locked up in the back of her mind. Never again...until Nathalie. But anyway! Emilie's main goal is Unlimited Power!!! Why? Shits and giggles, of course! She can do it, it's really fun to play this game with Ladybug and Chat Noir, and Akumatizing people just feels so intimate!

Do not get me wrong here! The reason why Emilie is obsessed with Akumatizations is because she loves going into people's heads and manipulating them! It's not weird, just the only coping mechanism she had in her entire childhood! Bless Amelie for giving her at least that... But yeah, Emilie basically treats the whole Akuma Shenanigans™ is her personal reality tv show, coupled with as much drama and action as anyone could ask for! And she gets to control the narrative! Plus, there's times where Emilie lets the Akuma do their thing just to see what might happen. Evillustrator is a prime example here, but that's part of the Marichat post so I won't get into it here.

Okay, okay. This rant is getting way too long. TL;DR: Emilie Agreste is kinda insane but still a better parent that canon Gabriel! I am currently working on the finale for this fic, because the ending is the best part and I want to share it with you all! In the meantime, feel free to send me as many asks abt this Au as you want! I'll be more than happy to have an excuse for more ranting! Anyway, I'll be seeing you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok so maybe this is offensive stereotype but am i the only one who thinks the other white police officer in hawkins is written as gay? the writers would know this stuff and hint towards it even if it wasnt relevant to the plot. it could be in s5, but i just feel like them having a random gay cop who isnt out but its unspoken open secret is so Stranger Things. Conservative towns like Hawkins are full of contradictions and people who bend truths to fit their ideology. Plenty of townfolk could suspect or know without actually doing anything about it except feeling judgemental and superior behind closed doors. They other cop who works with Hopper is black, + he becomes the chief. People of colour are often featured in respectable, visible and authoritative positions like school staff, white collar workers (Lucas' family) and news reporters. Not to say they are free from prejudice, but I'm sure Hawkins bigots 'allow' these figures while whispers abide beneath the surface. I just like that non-conformists are dotted all over Hawkins and have been all along, and if the police officer is shown to be queer by being targeted in a very minor plot in s5 it could be really interesting as relates to will's story. Like just one moment in a scene during the inevitable witch hunt, or if there are church service scenes, perhaps some sly looks as the congregation files in or out. That kind of thing.

Hmmm, I can't say that I ever personally got gay vibes from that cop, definitely curious if you want to expand as to why? I'm open to hearing you out!! I mean, I don't know if it's a bad stereotype until I know what the stereotype(s) is? He's one of those side characters that's a familiar face, you know, but not one I've paid too much attention to for anything deeper than rounding out the cast. Tell me your vision.

Open secrets seem to definitely fit in the show, that's correct at least. I mean, we get little hints to this a lot in season one. Building up the vibes of the town. There's so much we learn but aren't flat out told about our core cast. Especially about the Byers and we never really get an easy picture - but we know exactly who they are. Lives lived is something I always say and the show does a good job "implying" things off screen. Trusts the audience to infer and understand. Joyce's known mental health issues, Lonnie being viewed different by different people (blue collar/lower class viewing him as a peer vs. the well-off families like the Harringtons calling him a fuck-up, etc.), the implication from various places about Will's sexuality or assumption of it, etc.

So that's interesting a situation to pose about other characters. I read it a while ago and I don't remember all the details (and I know the plots are only semi-canon) but wasn't there a plotline in the Robin novel about her english teacher who's a gay man? And if I recall - there was stuff about his fear of getting found out in Hawkins and I think he ended up leaving town or something? Clearly - from what I know, the authors are given key themes and plot points for the novel and this is pretty big. Because we've gotten hints and implications about how Hawkins really is but nothing has been absolutely blatant yet, re: bigotry regarding homophobia. There's Troy's bullying via Mike, the implication of Hopper maybe viewing Will's disappearance as a potential hate crime, and Lonnie's verbal abuse implied - but Will has yet to be shown facing it directly on screen. Uh-oh. I feel/fear it's coming.

We see the foreshadowing with how the town acts during a satanic panic plot with Hellfire and the murders and everything Jason whips up. We see more foreshadowing with the townspeople flocking to church post-Hawkins split. I think it's going to ramp up and expose the ugliness in town. I'd like to rewatch the show to see if there's any hints at all with this cop - but for some character outside of the main cast, it would be interesting to see what the fear and tension is like in the town during this catastrophe that happened, played out during season 5. Something's gonna happen. Will is a huge focus. We've seen so much of set leaks focused on that church. It's all lining up.

On a tangential note, you mention seeing this for the cop and I don't have an opinion yet, but it's funny that personally? I got gay vibes from Mr. Clark and yet he's been shown with woman on screen. Like, back in the early days as a casual watcher, from season 1 on I thought he was gonna eventually be key in Will's storyline specifically for his sexuality. He's already close with our little nerd sqaud, but I thought the seasons were always gonna revolve around fall and school and he'd play a bigger role. Because it's such a trope that gay kids are shown to have a close relationship with a teacher mentor. Rings true in media and in real life. Show went a different direction in many ways than how I thought haha. I always felt kinda sad that wasn't exactly a thing in the show. Maybe it's too cliche, but it's a cliche I like.

[thebardostate]

A Child's Memory of a Past Life as a Hollywood Actor and Agent

From Return to Life: Extraordinary Cases of Children Who Remember Past Lives by Jim Tucker, MD (2013), Chapter 5

A five-year-old child, Ryan, had been telling his parents for about a year about wanting to go home to Hollywood to see his "other family". He was very insistent and would not stop talking about it, and spent much of his playtime acting out being in the movies. His parents were conservative Christians who did not believe in reincarnation and contacted past life researchers only when the boy kept having nightmares where he would wake up grabbing his chest and saying when he was in Hollywood his heart exploded. Ryan also described what it was like to die and be reborn, as well as correctly describing some incidents that occurred during her pregnancy with Ryan that he should have had no way of knowing about.

The mother took Ryan to the library to look at pictures of Hollywood. He recognized Rita Hayworth from a photograph, and said he knew her and that she made him a Coke float. When they came across a production photo from a Mae West film called Night After Night he became very excited. Recognizing one person, he said “Hey Mama, that’s George. We did a picture together. And Mama, that guy’s me. I found me.”

The man Ryan recognized as "George" was George Raft, one of the stars of the picture. The man Ryan pointed to as "me" appears on the far right side of the above photo, wearing a bow tie, bowler hat and tan overcoat; he played a minor, uncredited role in the film. Ryan described a scene he was in involving a closet full of guns, and when they later reviewed the film on YouTube there was indeed such a scene.

Ryan offered several other comments about people he knew in Hollywood such as Marilyn Monroe; when he tried to pick her up at a party, a minder from the studio gave him a shiner.

His mother kept a journal of Ryan’s statements and contacted a research team at the University of Virginia. Ryan was initially reluctant to discuss his memories with anyone but his parents for fear people would think he was crazy. Ryan said the reason he had to come back was that he didn’t spend enough time with his family in his last life; he worked so much that he forgot that love was the most important thing.

Ryan had nightmares about a man he called “Senator Five” who he said was “the nastiest villain who ever lived” and lived in New York, talked about an agency and going to a graveyard with a buddy who worked for that agency. He started kindergarten but got off on the wrong foot for telling the class about Hollywood and the agency during story time, opening himself up to ridicule from his classmates.

Ryan also began talking about Broadway, and Ryan began tap dancing during cartoons that had music. Ryan said when he lived before he had taught himself and danced tap routines with two buddies.

Ryan reacted very strongly to a film clip of Franklin Roosevelt, booing and calling him an idiot. He also made many statements about his family: his past mother had curly brown hair, he had two sisters one of whom was three years younger than him, and he had a difficult relationship with one of his stepdaughters. He also claimed to have taken a “big boat” to visit Paris, New York and China (where he said he had to learn to eat with chopsticks.) Ryan loved Chinese food and was unusually proficient with chopsticks for a five-year-old child.

Ryan made numerous other statements about his previous life that I am omitting for brevity. Before discusses these, as well as the researchers’ efforts to validate them.

After some digging, researchers found a possible candidate for “Senator Five”. Ryan was shown several photographs and asked if he recognized any of them. The researchers took care to make sure they were not giving any subtle hints. He recognized one person - Irving Ives, US Senator for New York for 12 years in the late 40s and 50s. Ryan said he was “Senator Five”.

US Senator Irving Ives

The researchers finally traced the man in the photograph wearing the bowler. His name was Marty Martyn. They were able to trace and contact Martyn’s only biological daughter, who verified many details supplied by Ryan: Martyn’s mother had curly brown hair, he had two sisters, and he had gone to New York early in his career to be a dancer. He then went to Hollywood and began as an extra and a dance director. He then became a talent agent and set up the Marty Martyn Agency. Martyn had several connections to Rita Hayworth. His wife’s family knew Marilyn Monroe. Martyn became quite wealthy and married four times. Ryan said his address had had the word Rock or Mount in it, and Martyn’s house address was 825 N. Roxbury.

Martyn did travel the world, going to Paris on the Queen Mary. The daughter wasn’t sure but doubted that Martyn went to China, but Chinese food was a favorite of his and he was proficient with chopsticks. He was a Republican who hated Franklin Roosevelt. The daughter had a photograph of Martyn with Senator Ives. She confirmed that Martyn did have a difficult relationship with his oldest stepdaughter.

Martyn died on Christmas Day in 1964, of a cerebral hemorrhage. His death was unwitnessed, so there was no way to resolve the discrepancy about Ryan claiming his heart “exploded” and being unable to breathe. As Ryan got older his recollections became less frequent until they finally stopped altogether.

[radiocity]

why do i keep thinking dana's hair looked better b4 the makeover lol (like it lowkey framed her face better/ hid it less) am i crazy tho ,,

HI,. HELLO. no you're right, we are talking about shane cutting her hair in 1x10 right? well the problem with shane is she's shit at her job but that's another issue

this got long and turned into more of a dana analysis (1573 words...) so i put it under the cut ->

i'm the worst ever because i honestly prefer dana's sporty look with hair that can be completely tied back when she plays tennis, but generally i kinda had no clue what they were going for with her bc in the feminine women agenda the l word was held prisoner to they wanted her to not be too masculine anyway, which kind of cut her off from having more stereotypically lesbian haircuts that we associate with... lesbians who have played tennis professionally - martina navratilova, billie jean king - like this

but yeah idk... i prefer the long hair that frames her face if only because it sort of inadvertently makes her jaw look squarer (which i like) and makes her look more intentional with her actions (which she is), so there's genuinely nothing to hide... in a more holistic sense i appreciated her original looks as a sort of reminder of how inescapable her lesbianism to her, the same way her face is more or less thrust outwards and taken in whole every single time. hiding behind the bangs pushes her back and - maybe works in line with her plotline within s2 MAYBE - hides her in a strange way i thought antithetical to her whole story being Transforming into the lesbian sports icon and taking hold of her destiny despite the pushback from her family and society at large

i think you could sorta make the argument of the middle parting no bang look being a sort of straight girl situation, but to me what read as her attempting to appear 'straight' (or, at least, not disruptively 'queer') was always always always those little stud earrings she wears like this assuredly feminine touch throughout, so no matter how many sweaty games of tennis she plays or muscle tees she wears, the jewellery on her is basically acting to say, no! reminder! i'm your straight conservative wifey. especially when jenny throughout is really characterised through her big bold thick bangs that hide her from the world (and work in the narrative), giving dana these strange feather cut bangs was always just a strange decision to me idk. one big issue throughout the show was that shane was the only one really allowed to be androgynous (hard to say she's butch when she doesn't really take up any of the roles or senses of being butch) - beyond a couple of random side characters - so that the other main ensemble had a line in the sand drawn for how far they could stray from conventional femininity, and most of them don't move far from it

the famous "do you have to dress like that" scene between her and shane always made me laugh because her hair is in this slick ponytail and she's wearing this tanktop, clearly coming or going from practice, muscles out, etc... like i would not be seen on the street with u if i was also desperately and fruitlessly trying to hide being a lesbian dana

though as a sidenote they really couldn't decide what they wanted with her because while she sort of toed a line between masculine and feminine aesthetics, and erin daniels is obviously gorgeous, they end up pushing her towards feminine when it felt like her character... wanted the other thing,.. (this is me projecting and making shit up though)

her strange gay beard who was convincing no one at the welcoming party

when alice and shade are probing dana on her gaydar and asks "would you wear high heeled sandals with tapered jeans" and it's like the first time she's heard of either of those items of clothing

actually on clothes later in that episode look at this... like are they not aligning dana more with shane than they are alice with those dark jackets ... dana's in jean shane's in leather like

in a way i think a lot of her attraction to lara and circling around this impressively pretty and very feminine woman brings out this awkwardness in dana where she wants the strength to reach out and/or take charge in a way she just can't, one outfit that really sticks out to me is the tight polo she's wearing trying to compliment her in the same episode here

tbh in a way i almost get the sense they they're playing on dana as forced feminine and lara as accepted 'masculine' or rather is comfortable wearing this very blocky unflattering chef's uniform while dana is just so uncomfortably forwards with her face/body (uncomfortable in person not in sports yes it is sports uniform yes)

anyway when dana and lara are breaking up in episode...7? 8? this scene dana is like nervously looking around at all the straight couples and this shot always interested me because she is... looking at the man . the woman is in the centre but dana herself is positioned to the left side of the screen as the man is, and obviously lara is there so dolled up ( i love her entire look this episode) so - IMO - it just read like dana is trying to.. do something akin to him

only after lara starts coming on to her does her gaze like actually and meaningfully shift to the woman which to me just read as her being concerned with, specifically, how other women are seeing her. to take on the role of the "man" for the purpose of the "woman", or to try within your limited capacity to do so

and dana has to do this apologetic speech to lara about how she just can't be gay and "when she hides it she hides the best part of her. but you don't understand what it means to be me" and then "i'm not like you" ugh i just think the whole thing reads as her lesbianism not being as simple as 'being gay' but rather 'BEING' looking, sounding, acting gay, this total containment of herself that needs total release, this very profound lesbianism that demands to be so... brazen, idk....

LIKE THIS PERHAPS

ok this is getting so insanely long for no reason so let me end on one note: THE THING I CANNOT GET OVER. IN GENERAL. IS HOW ON JENNY AND DANA'S DATE SHE... LOOKS... HELP

before this when they were in the bar together i was just thinking so endlessly about dana's move to make jenny comfortable - "i've never done this before" dana: "you've never been to a bar before?" "no, a women's bar, by myself" "oh. me neither"

then jenny says "this is something out of the 1950s its so butch and femme" and dana starts telling her about the history of it and how it "probably hasn';t changed since the fifties" and just keeps talking and talking, trying to comfort jenny on how it's no different to any other club and ETC, in a way it really reminds me of how she interacts with lara when she was giving her a compliment (trying to say she always looks nice. like not dirty. when i . see you.") in that really stilted fashion that, to me, reads as this overly anxious probing into desire but caution, always taking a step back lest you took too many forwards, a delicate tapping around her own attraction and her role in these entanglements

anyway the outfit, and this happens at the end of the haircut episode in the first place, so this is her hot off shane's awful hairdressing chair:

like i'm sorry they are in the same outfit virtually but they dolled dana up so strangely with makeup here (and earlier in the episode) that this was so baffling, because she is in butch uniform right now with those insane leather? metal? cuffs around her wrists, i had no idea what was going on here. in the same outfit more or less but fashioned and functioning so differently, jenny's accentuating her shyness and uncertainty, arguably her hair covering up more than her vest does, sharp angles of the v pointing down, sat in the light, on the edge of becoming ephemeral . dana positioned more in the shadow, planted firm, the thick arms of her vest and the round neck keeping your attention straight across her shoulders and thus leading to her arms . ignore the godawful belt here again i think that the jeans being 'high' waisted and the strange brown belt was just another attempt by the evil costume designers to try and create some sort of 'chapstick' lesbian aesthetic, but really imo these attempts just give way to dana's own desire to lean more masculine but trapped within her almost innate inability to do so meaningfully

SIDENOTE: i realise this is supposed to be some hilarious comedy scene to be like omg hahaha lool jenny and dana? lmaooo but i kinda think they should have gotten together for real and this should have been danas true butch awakening like look at her . now imagine this without the stupid bangs and with her comfort slick back ponytail

she even tries to awkwardly lean back to show off her muscles like...?????????????????

lol but rewatching this when she lifts her leg up she';s wearing... stiletto boots

it's the L word you can't talk about butches and butchism because they exist so far pushed to the peripheries of the show but my god ilene chaiken i hate you forever but yeah her haircut sucked shane should be a barista or something

[ifiwereawriter]

I know this is meant to be a "writing" blog, I know, I just need an anonymous safe place to vent right now or imma be screaming, crying, or throwing up pretty soon.

So this is about love. Relationships. Boy drama. *Rolls eyes* of course it is. That's pretty much the only thing you yell to your diary about.

Anyway, I have NEVER been in a relationship. I am in my mid twenties. I grew up super conservative Christian homeschool etc. I'm pretty much scared of social interaction and especially scared of guys. So about 3/4 a year ago, my fam took guy A on an interstate trip with us. I won't take a long time to tell the story BC you don't need that, but the bare bones of it that are relevant are: him and I got along, we shared a moment when I got real and told him my family dynamics and some really personal stuff about my life while I was fricking painting my nails and sitting on a trailer and no one else was around. Then, the trip was over, things were a bit weird but friendly until he called me beautiful. And this freaked me the Frick out. I liked him as a friend but not the something more that this CLEARLY implied. Then I just real-life ghosted him as well as I could and he probably picked up on it bc I was actually giving him the silent treatment/cold shoulder which I totally regret in hindsight but at the moment I was so angry with him and freaked out. He went overseas too and I was desperately praying that he would find a girlfriend in his hometown lmao.

Cut to tonight and I have been thinking about guy A because guy B is on the scene now (I will tell that story soon). And guys A is at the event I go to, and he is being super sweet with the kids and everything and I think about him. But at one point, I see him walking with a girl who is there who is prettier, cooler and closer in age to him than me and guys, if I didn't feel crazy at that. Like, if I truly don't like him I would be happy if they got together but dang it kind of ate me up and set me off a bit. Like I couldn't. And tonight I'm eating some cup tapokki and I can only think back to the time I had tapokki with guy A. It was the only time I've had it before tonight and we were eating at a Korean restaurant on our family trip with just two of my brothers and if was probably the most datelike thing I have ever been on. So I like him??? Do I even know what I like? And even if I liked a guy wholeheartedly, I would STILL be too much of an inexperienced self-shameing pussy to act!

So guy B is a handful, and not a very pleasant one. I know him through my social circles and I genuinely find it painful to talk to him. He is a great listener, and so am I. He just draws me out so badly because otherwise he leaves the conversation on the most awkward pauses and he just unsettles me for SURE. So that's the scene. I don't like talking to guy B and while he has characteristics I admire, in general I do not like his lack of social awareness. Cut to, my Dad tells me someone has come to him weeks ago and asked if he could 'get to know me better'. I still live at home and did I mention, super Christian conservative parents? He doesn't tell me who the guy is but after a couple of hints I am certain it is guy B. I cannot think of a single other person it would be. And damnit. I don't want my dad to say 'no' of course, I don't believe in that, but I literally do. not. like. this. guy. at. all!

So now I am feeling extremely self-conscious about this guy and he was at the event tonight and I spent the whole entire night trying to avoid him. My dad got a call from an unlisted number while I was talking to him and he left to go pick it up. I look over and Guy B is standing across the room on. his. phone. He was probably asking for my dad's answer since it had been the amount of time my dad said he wanted to wait. Damn it.

Now I am eating comfort food at home after all this. And posting a stupid ramble about it on my side account. FML tbh. Boys, you can't live with em, you can't live without em, amiright? I need therapy.

[shadowqueen402]

The "Perfect" Videotape (A Prim And Proper Problems fic)

Here is another fic based off of Prim And Proper Problems by @kayssweetdreams. In this fic, my oc is a child and she watches a copy of Madame Prim's tape…

Twelve-year-old Aria Montgomery sat on the couch in the living room all while watching one of her favorite cartoons. She clutched onto her aqua green stuffed bunny as she giggled at a funny moment that just occured on TV.

Her mother, Esme Montgomery, was sitting on the love seat, doing a crossword puzzle. Outside was getting dark as it was a Friday evening in the middle of October. The two were patiently waiting for Roy Montgomery, Aria's father, to come home from work.

The familiar sound of the door unlocking was heard. Aria turned to face the door with excitement, knowing that her father was finally home. The door then opened to reveal Roy, holding his keys in one hand and…some type of object in the other.

"Father! You're home!" Aria said as she got off the couch and went to hug Roy.

"Hey, darling," Esme got off the love seat and went to greet her husband. "How was work?"

"Nothing new happened at work," Roy said as he closed the door, locked it, and placed his keys down. "But this was on our doorstep." He showed Esme what he was holding: An unmarked tape.

"Oh? Where did this tape come from?" Esme asked.

"I don't know…" Roy frowned at the tape before sitting it on the TV stand. "But we'll watch it after dinner."

Esme and Aria nodded before the two went into the kitchen to start dinner.

After dinner, the family of three were now in the living room again. Roy popped the tape into the VHS and sat back down. Soon, the video started to play:

The screen shows two teenaged girls, dressed in black leather jackets. The kids are seen spray painting lots of graffiti onto a brick wall. "Is your child becoming a delinquent?" Madame Prim's voice was heard. The scene changes to show two girls wearing skimpy bathing suits while playing on the beach. "Are they doing what you KNOW would make you faint?" The scene changes a third time to show a girl who was playing the electric guitar while wearing torn rock gear. "Are you running out of ideas of where they would belong to society?"

The scene changes to Madame Prim who stands outside of the school. "Well, bring them to me at Prim, Proper, Perfection," She said. "The only boarding school known for its maximum results. The scene shows the two graffiti girls from earlier. They are learning about proper table etiquette. "Where they will learn the proper way to do everything." The scene shows the beach girls now wearing more conservative clothing. "Where they will be able to comprehend the right way of life from the wrong. The scene changes, revealing the rocker girl from before, but she's now wearing the PPP uniform and her hair is now in a simple bun. "And where they will be completely transformed to become respectful members of society."

The scene changes once more and shows Madame Prim with all of her students, all sporting eerily perfect smiles. "So come on down to Prim, Proper, Perfection," Madame Prim said. "And grant your child a chance at Perfection. After all…" She started as the girls spoke up. "A proper girl is a perfect girl!" They finished.

"W-What did we just watch, Mother?" Aria asked, feeling a bit uneasy at what she saw.

Before Esme could answer, Roy started to shout in anger. "A THIGHEARNA! We specifically told that woman that we weren't interested in sending our daughter there!"

"S-Sending me where?" Aria was now growing frightened.

Esme gently hugged her daughter. "There's a bad place out there," She tried to explain. "Your father and I don't want you going there. Ever."

After Roy calmed down, he turned the TV off. He took the tape out of the VHS. "I'm going to burn this," He told Esme and Aria. "That way, we won't watch it again."

Aria hugged her mother. She practically knew that her parents were hiding something.

And now, she was scared as to what it was…

Aria and her parents belong to me.

Madame Prim belongs to @kayssweetdreams

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2023: Days 7 thru 12

Possession (1981) I don't know what happened in this movie at all, and that's not a complaint. I came for two balls-to-the-wall scenery chewing performances, along with sex with Lovecraftian creatures, and I got it all.

As for everything else, I don't know where the creature came from, or what it's supposed to represent, in-universe or out. Though considering the bookends with Same Neil's employers here, and how one of them had pink socks like his unseen target described at the beginning... Maybe this all a situation similar to Possessor, where because he didn't want to come back, the creature was sent to replace him. After all, how do we know it's the only one? I guess what I'm saying it, this is about a quite literal destruction of the nuclear family. Getting rid of that might as well feel as earth shattering as actual nuclear destruction to the current generation. Though speaking of monster duplicates with possible plans of world domination...

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) I first watched this around 20 years ago, coming away scared of the idea pod people could ever come for me. Now I watch it, knowing on some level, I became one of them long ago.

Self-depreciating aside, the big thing I noticed this time around was "anvilicious" the theme was. the original movie was about communism, the 1990s version was supposedly about AIDS and the military, and the 2007 version was about the war on terror, all to varying degrees of quality, I hear. This one, I heard it's about the rise of the baby boomers and all the self-absorption that came with it, and we're still dealing with today. But I also saw a theme of city alienation, along with gentrification caused by conservatives. (That "maybe he's a republican" line also aged too well, especially with who became president just a few years later).

The famous ending scene of the movie, (moreso then all other scenes, so the surprise is ruined basically forever), can be a metaphor that if force doesn't make you assimilate, total hopelessness will do the trick.

I'm surprised there still hasn't been a fifth version at this point. I guess one of two main themes they can make it about (destruction of global culture via the melting pot of America) they touched on here, and, as demonstrated in a video by La'Ron Readus (https://youtu.be/9rJt6SeZfC0?si=kUC3A6gm9ysN8Q60), Get Out pretty much ending up tackling that already. Check his video and his channel out!

The other theme I can think of is climate change, but they even implied that here too. How much you want to bet their "dying world" died because of them? That they spent 100% of their energy surviving, they didn't stop and think about the actual big picture of the world they live on? The common perspective on logic vs emotion is that emotion is dumber, and more chaotic and hurtful then logic, but I liked to think of it as a gut instinct about the world around you that, even though you have no proof, can warrant analysis and investigation. That can at least help your psyche, and at most get a new angle on an issue you and everyone else takes for granted but can gain more. Logic is a tool, not the end.

Ending this by getting back to my opening joke metaphor, I'm hoping that it's more I'm nodding off and my duplicate is still a work in progress that can still be stopped. Part of the reason why I write, as well as just watch horror movies in general, is my effort to not become like them. It's helping a bit for now, but I think in the near future, I'll have to do more.

You Might Be The Killer (2018) This was kind of a funny idea. A slasher having a confidant to try and work out how he got to this point. Along with what I think was a subversion of a Final Girl. They kept expecting it from a supposed pure person, but is instead one that is a little too comfortable killing people, even takes to being the new killer more then the previous host. But yeah, they didn't do enough with this to justify feature-length. Honestly, a normal person brainwashed into a slasher, old family curses, the "hero" actually might being the real villain; the Fear Street Trilogy handled alot of the same stuff here, and frankly, better.

Spree aka the most Zoomer slasher ever. That's not an insult, either of zoomers or the movie. It's effectively in the same family as movies like Taxi Driver and American Psycho but with Tiktok lingo. That sound like a bad cut and paste job, but a good cut and paste job, like this one is, proves that really, all these new developments in technology and social connections have done nothing to solve societal problems that have been with us for generations. Scary and sad, but if it's true, it's true. This was uncomfortable in a good way for the most part, pretty impressive for a premise that could've been so in a bad way (besides all the secondhand embarrassment I felt with our villain protagonist). This movie's essentially about a spree shooter, so I don't think it's an accident he (mostly) doesn't use a gun. When he does, it's saved for near the end and a moment that's the final nail in the coffin for him being actually sympathetic.

Given that I'm talking about a movie about social media ON social media, I have to reflect a bit on it. I'm not looking for loads of followers. Sure, there was a time where I thought it was something amazing, when I joined Facebook for the first time. Until I realized that, even though I went to high school with all those my first few accepted friend requests, I had nothing of substance to talk about with them. So now, I'm either trying to find people with common interests, (especially in my area) or trying to express my honest thoughts on a subject I can engage in good faith about. Besides monetary reasons, I never understood being obsessed with having the most subscribers or views. I guess they're looking for fans rather then friends. Like I said with Pearl, it's a pursuit that is over before it's started if you can't find people who want to see it. When it comes down to it, I'd rather make connections with only a few people rather than a chat filled with gremlins. Showbiz is only worth it if you have something to show, not just something you think you want.

Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel The original was one of the most unsettling found footage films I have ever seen, with a fairly original set up and one of the creepiest clowns ever, mostly because it took the less is more approach. This one got rid of one of those; padding it out with so many people we supposed to believe are stupid enough to enter a haunted house with a confirmed body count! Even the scares felt less diverse; a lot of ghost woman with the same eye contacts.

Eh, to be fair, it's still unsettling, thanks to them using the same set. Sure, the last scene wasn't scary, but hey, it was near the end so they could get away with it, and Tully still pretty much won so...

The Sadness It's either Mayhem, but more larger scale and darker or the Crazies remake but bloodier and with a darker ending. I knew things wouldn't end well for the main couple just from how lovey-dovey the first few scenes were, but it was actually bleaker than I expected. I expected them either one of them to die or both to die and they'd all be real sad about it. I didn't expect one, if not both of them to get infected, and when they died, neither of them were giving a shit about the other. Yikes.

Also, I knew I was warned about the content going in, but I didn't have a reaction to it. I'm weird that way, I guess. I'm warned that this and Crimes of the Future were too intense, and I just shrug it off. But Malignant for some reason, gets me light-headed? Maybe it's more I can't stand hospitals, at least in movies.

The Babysitter (2017) This was super goofy, though a bit too pop culture heavy. I could've done with a bit more satanism, either more rituals or an actual demon. Also, move aside Home Alone; this the real Die Hard with a kid. Yeah, Samara Weaving's charisma is apparent even this early ( and really funny she's in a movie about two years later that has a similar premise but with her on the other side), but my favorite cultist is actually Max. I always liked seeing this himbo henchmen we've been getting the past 20 years or so. The guy who, if he's not trying to kill you at the moment, is actually trying to be your friend. I even been seeing this archetype in anime, so obviously the appeal is close to universal. Though I did find the age appropriate love interest a bit too sickly sweet that it takes me out of it. This was goofy fun, all the same. Maybe I'll get to the sequel one day.

[hekateinhell]

“They promised, and atm they're getting hammered at Lestat's house (Gabrielle isn't around) and discussing Armand's virginity.” Here, my firstborn 🤱 LOVE everything about this insane premise that makes perfect sense. Those two imbeciles getting hammered and talking about sex and trying to FaceTime Louis while he’s having dinner at some high end restaurant with his conservative family in New Orleans. Louis starts panicking when he hears them slur the words “dare”, “tattoos”, “prove our love to you” and has to excuse himself from the table. As for the tattoo themselves, I’m on board with the initials but perhaps they’d want to get something that reminded them of Louis? And then have Louis see what they chose and based on his reaction, pick the winner. No idea what those things could be though, only wet cats come to mind 😞 “And then they bond and double-team Armand.” The only natural conclusion of course. Armand will go on and save the lives of 10 patients on a single night after that experience. “I think about them in canon a lot too, I feel like there's a fair bit of Lestat's personality mirrored in Daniel”, yesss and I’ve always thought he was probably amused and secretly proud of Armand for having found himself a mini-brat prince for a boyfriend. Lestat/Daniel the unsung brotp of VC 🤜🤛

I just woke up and realize I left off where Louis's FaceTiming them back like, "I'm glad you two are getting along, I guess?" Which I feel was also the energy in the RoA phone call scene (Louis out there doing his best to make his two guys get along <3).

"Wet cat" sent me! 😭 I think I have a decent tattoo idea now though, it's been a very productive Sunday already.

Irrelevant side note: I think of Loustat as Pepe Le Pew (Lestat) and the little cat that keeps trying to get away from him (Louis). Nobody @ me, you know I'm right.

Daniel and Lestat are simply doing what they have to maximize their hospital's life-saving efficiency. Now more than ever, since we've decided Armand's a ✨trauma✨ surgeon. Stress level = unmatched.

You know, it's funny because I once got an ask to the effect of "How do you think Armand would feel if Lestat drank from Daniel, since he never drank from Armand?" and my answer was, "He'd probably be proud and a little happy some part of him is inside Lestat." 😌

But on a more serious note... I always thought one of the many reason Daniel appealed to Armand was because he reminded Armand of himself as a mortal. And I also always thought human Armand and Lestat would've gotten along so well because aside from their personalities, they have so stuff in common regarding their early life experiences (religion, abuse, etc.).

Daniel, the Mini Brat Prince though. DA, please... I'm shaking. 🥹💕 (I can never forget it's actually Lestat who wrote Devil's Minion in-universe. Makes it that much better).

[montyterrible]

Mememaw & I

Or—Big Boy, Big Problems: “This might be normal in your family, but it’s not right.”

Actual content aside, “Hillbilly Elegy” is a hell of a title, and I’ve had it stuck in my head ever since I first heard it. (The subtitle, “A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis,” is pure, dry, unwieldy conservative-speak, and I’m going to pretend it doesn’t exist.) You’ve got the unlikely pairing of “hillbilly” with the big-boy poetic noun “elegy”; the rhyme, I honestly could do without (it tickles my brain in an annoying way), but the consonance with the “L” sound is a real treat for how… atypical it is. I find it quite the evocative title overall and think that it’s unfortunate it sits atop THIS: alleged couch-humper, soon-to-be Vice President, and confirmed Online weirdo JD Vance’s 2016 memoir, which I will almost certainly never read, and Ron Howard’s 2020 film adaptation, which I only finally watched this past summer out of morbid curiosity.

The word that now comes to mind, re. that movie, is “pornographic.” For one thing, I think Vance’s memoir could be called masturbatory. For another, this feels like it’s constructed to provide some sense of cathartic release for specific groups of people—almost certainly well-bred conservatives, whose contempt for their own constituents (see their political aims, which uniformly favor the rich and powerful) is justified by the desperate ignorance and incompetence showcased here, but also, probably, liberals, whose own preconceptions about the poor old hillfolk get confirmed as well. You can easily imagine the sympathetic chatter at the black-tie Raytheon-sponsored fundraiser. Just like adult films stereotypically deal in paper-thin character concepts that serve a stock function for pleasurous purposes (The Pizza Guy, The Step-Sister, The Babysitter), here you have the same sort of thing with The Wise Grandma, The Burnout Teens, The Irrepressible Junkie Mother, and so on. Except, like, with tears as the fluid of note.

There’s a line in the movie that made it into the trailer in a really prominent sort of way (once the music swells and we’re being shown all this footage that’s supposed to make our spirits soar on wings of feeling), where the grandmother says “Everyone in this world is one of three kinds: good Terminator, a bad Terminator, and neutral,” and it’s another one of those… artistic choices that agitates my brain. I get that the intent is for it to be the wisdom equivalent of drinking at least two non-diet Cokes per day while watching what has been called “the idiot box,” and maybe it’s even meant to be a little awkward (a little… under-educated) and like something a high-schooler would write down as meaningful; however, I just don’t think it sounds good, even assuming that intent. The “and neutral” deflates the whole thing with its awkward difference and lack of pizzazz. It should have just been “Good Terminator, and Bad Terminator,” is my opinion, and also that it’s like the whole movie in microcosm: just a weird misfire and awkwardly constructed. After the great title, this is the other bit of Hillbilly Elegy that’s stuck with me the past several years. Stuck in my mental craw, more like.

Clearly there’s supposed to be a lot of pathos in all this. Ron Howard doesn’t strike me as someone who’d intentionally approach this particular story entirely as a comedy, but I spent a lot of the movie’s runtime laughing at it because it is so absurd. There’s stuff that’s obviously meant as a joke, but there are a lot of things that seem to function that way unintentionally—like the scene where young Vance’s mom comes in requesting his pee for a drug test since she’s using again, and then they start fighting, and then grandma busts in demanding to know what’s going on, and then Vance angrily explains the situation and ends up storming out to go repeatedly throw a basketball against the side of the house, and then his “Mamaw” comes out and gives him what amounts to a passionate speech about the importance of appeasement, and then she holds out the pee cup for him to take and go fill (and then we watch him go and fill it for some reason)…

If you can imagine some sort of familial ignominy that’ll result in people screaming obscenities and smacking each other, it’s probably here. Or, that’s how it feels, at any rate. Absolutely none of this is actually funny in real-world terms (it’s abuse, after all), but here it’s just like… Jerry Springer. Again, I keep thinking lewd, rude, and bereft of value beyond the basest feelings of enjoyment. What moments of more genuine investment it cultivates are cheapened by the tactless intensity of the whole. It’s so consistently gross and over-the-top in its depictions of poverty and domestic strife—see the mom, Bev, being entertained by the couple next door having their own row at one point, without an ounce of self-awareness on the part of either her or the film—that it just can’t be read as anything other than disgusting comedy. It might be camp, it’s such a critical misfire tonally. I genuinely do not think this impression is a result of the additional knowledge that this is supposed to be the highly affecting origin story of one JD Vance and, instead, that Hillbilly Elegy is just incompetently dramatic.

It feels like people are screaming at each other in every scene, and you eventually hit a point of diminishing returns with that sort of heightened emotion, where it stops being traumatizing and just becomes whacky. Never mind that the story is full of stereotypes and predictable dramatic beats, which also make it harder to take seriously. It puts me in mind of the fake “Oscar Gold” film from the adult animated sitcom American Dad (quick warning for an ableist slur in the fake trailer)—In the episode “Tearjerker” (2008), the titular villain schemes to create a movie so award-winningly sad that it will kill people, with the very intentional joke being that the film in question is nothing but outrageous dramatic clichés piled on top of one another to the point that it wouldn’t actually win awards or make someone cry. Part of what makes the premise so funny, however, is the underlying logic that real hacks and audiences could very well agree with—that more sad stuff equals bigger feels, and what’s “bad” about that? It’s a great bit for a comedy but a bad fit for what is supposed to be a (real) serious, straightforward film.

This sort of overly saccharine construction ultimately works in the favor of a rural horror-comedy pastiche like Ti West’s Pearl (2022), with any more genuine-feeling dramatic moments subsumed into the exploitative, leering whole, but Hillbilly Elegy is much grosser and less… convincing to me due to its ostensible goal of, overall, being some kind of sympathetic, meaningful depiction of real life. Its seemingly, uncritically sentimental (even romantic) conception of the story being told renders it unable to present the absurd comedy of the situations, performances, and writing in a way that resonates if you’re able to parse tone at all. The exploitation eats the film from the inside out, leaving behind a shell of meaning and “representation” incapable of being Of Note. I strongly feel that I could have written more or less this exact story without any direct personal experience with this level of poverty or addiction, just based on stereotypes and hearsay. To me, it reads as inelegant fantasy and as sociologically worthless. As only an off-putting comedy (as a spiritual sibling in derangement to Howard’s 2000 How the Grinch Stole Christmas), it has its merits! It is highly quotable in your most offensive approximation of an American hillbilly accent.

The messaging of Hillbilly Elegy is ultimately as rote and gross as its plot and characters—It’s all individual responsibility, with a bit of family worship thrown in. It’s the American mindset (conservative and liberal) exemplified. There’s all this emphasis on personal strength and overcoming hardship. It literally begins with a preacher on the radio doing that Christian thing of using God/faith and those long-term promises to help bear up under an “American Dream” deferred. In other words, the usual supernatural “Maybe He will and maybe He won’t�� excuses for systemic failures that I’ve heard myself since childhood. Movie Vance’s whole character arc weirdly pivots on him learning to put family first sometimes but also to advance his personal goals. This conflicting messaging is established early on with a bullying incident at the “swim hole,” where Narrator Vance shares some old family wisdom about not starting fights but finishing them if they do start… unless you can’t finish them, in which case your family will finish them for you.

It’s a strange tension, between needing to man up and do it yourself but also making sure you have that strong family there to back you up. In the end, Vance has to embrace his mother but also push her away to reap the rewards of his hard work. Of course, within the story, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity without someone (Mamaw) stepping in to berate him into shape, which is a virtue since it happens within the family between individuals but would be a mortal sin, to this worldview, if it took the form of, say, some sort of external social support network. (See also: Mamaw giving a very literal handout to another less-well-off neighbor kid.) The problem isn’t that the healthcare system is a profit-seeking nightmare willing to let you die in the street if you don’t have enough credit cards to charge and/or insurance—No, it’s all about your unwillingness to stop being so got-dang sick!

Movie Vance’s final words to his mother say it all. After spending an entire day, which takes the length of the whole movie in between flashbacks, trying to find a spot for her to recover from her overdose and receive help (and fighting about her not wanting the help, and almost getting knifed while trying to bust in and fight a man who called her a whore…), Vance finally gets her settled at a motel, goes to get some groceries, and then comes back to find her in the bathroom with a needle. Cue the fighting and screaming! After something like a sweet moment—a visual echo of a time when a younger Vance comforted his crying mother in her bedroom—he’s got to go in order to make his big boy job interview, so he tells her that Lindsay, his sister, is coming and that “I really hope you’ll wait for her.” It’s not that working to help yourself and taking help when it’s offered aren't important, even to me, a godless leftist, but you just know that this is meant to be another Individual Responsibility thing. It’s time for his mother to stop being weak and start being strong, like Donald Trump.

The (final) Thing of it all is that there are parts of this story that are recognizable. I actually have a bit of that outrageous drama and dysfunction on at least one side of my own family. It’s not as severe as what’s depicted in Hillbilly Elegy, but it is so ridiculous and seemingly inevitable that it becomes funny in just the same way. The relationship between Fantasy Vance and Mamaw also feels very real to me, in the sense that I’ve taught students a narrative essay in the past, and I eventually stopped teaching it in part because I had to hear so many stories like this one—about kids from “broken homes” who were essentially raised and set straight by grandparents who then died. Whatever the exact ratio of truth to lies in Vance’s story (either version?), I do think there’s probably an element of real feeling in there. The tragedy of JD Vance isn’t what he thinks it is, though: It’s that his rougher experiences, whatever they were, radicalized him in the wrong direction, making him just another Republican dickbag rather than an empathetic person, like I am. So fuck ‘em! Hasta la vista, baby!

[phantom-honey]

Um, I'm sorry but this is not a form of horror. this is actually such a complex and interesting story. It's not cp. Really far from that. The rape scenes are quick and very much not erotic.

The animator spent 5 years of his life to tell a story, a story akin to his own, because he said in a few interviews he lived through similar abuse. He loved the manga because it depicted something raw but also something very poetic.

>spoiler alert obviously<

Midori gets abused daily by the only people who can provide for her after the brutal passing of her mother. The dynamic is very toxic, but she can't go because she is only 12, has no one and live in a very conservative country in the 1930s, there is no real child protection, no one to look out for her. All of the freaks are in the same situation as her and are all probably suffering a bunch too; the manga expand on that, so it's not really the subject here.

Anyway, after a while Midori gets sick, understandable with the conditions she is living through. Even the owner of the circus tell her to rest, she has a very high fever.

The next scene is the beginning of the next chapter, where the dwarf arrives. Notice how Midori is not sick.

It's because she is dreaming. She is coping with her very hard life by dreaming about someone coming in and solving all her problems. There is so many interesting things about it;

It's a dwarf, because Midori is 12 and sees men as big and scary, not the kind who can protect you, only hurt you. Masamitsu is the perfect man for her because he is small, so he can't really hurt her (but he can be protective and fierce as seen later). She also talks alot about Western Magic to justify the fact that he is not from there, and why he is so strange but also magnificient at the same time. She is 12. Of course she is imagining herself having sex with him. That's the only thing she knows about men. But notice how it's way gentler and printed with love, something Midori craves. He marries her, protect her from the others and ensures she is not getting raped, bring money to the circus and even create a sense of family in-between the members of the circus, who are all terribly broken. All of this is unfortunately a dream, and you got the truth at the end, when things are starting to get blurry in her fantasy.

I think the ending is meant to symbolize her death. She probably died of this fever. But what happened at the end? I think she imagined the reason why she couldn't have that happiness after all that abuse. Of course, Masamitsu couldn't bring her to America and leave all of her worries here. He had to die. And in a very "heroic" way. Because I mean, he is a magician, if everything was true he could have saved himself easily, right? Twisting their necks and everything he was showing off before? Nope, because he doesn't exist. Midori "feels" that something is wrong and gets lost. She is losing her mind in her dream. She keep saying, I am not dreaming. I am not dreaming. But she is, and the proof is that when she turns back everyone is back. All the bad people who hurt her. And Masamitsu is also there. With all of her rage she tries to kill them all and we got one of the most beautiful scene I have ever scene in anime for a long time, where we see her finally disappear and die, after everything she went through.

So yeah, no. It's not horror. If you think this is horror, you are clearly not mature enough to watch that kind of content. I'm sorry this masterpierce went over your head like that.

People are shitting on Shoujo Tsubaki/Midori on twitter. Once again people can't tell author from their fiction can they? "But it was unnecessarily shocking"-DON'T. FUCKING. WATCH IT! It's not for you. It's a form of horror, it is there for release. It doesn't have to be deep. I hated that anime and the live action but I do realize it's just shocking art and I leave it there. There are many horror movies out there doing stuff for pure shock, are you going to cancel those too? Freedom of expression has gone out the window.

[luxshine]

“Yo  a ti, Cas” Or how mexican dubbing gripped us tight and raised us from Despair.

Ok. So I promised a big meta about the dubbing thing and so while I don’t have all the answers YET, here’s a bit of perspective on the differences between Despair and The Truth.

  First, a little background. I am a former professional dubbing translator. While I worked on anime series from Japanese to Spanish, rather than in live action ones from English to Spanish, the process is not that different. Also, I worked in Mexico, where Supernatural is dubbed, so that’s why I can make the assumptions I make. Finally, my specialization in college was translation from English to Spanish, so I guess I know what the hell I’m talking about.

  So let’s start on HOW you translate something for a dub. Back in the day, you got a ton of VHS tapes with the episodes on them with time codes, and, if you were lucky, a shooting script. This is to say, it was not a transcript of the actual words said in the episode, but the script BEFORE the actors, directors, and everyone else had a hand on what was said and changed. And thus, anything adlibbed? Is not going to be in that script which, at least for the anime side of things? Was a nightmare as the script was usually “And here X actor can say whatever they want” and I had to go and listen to the scene ten thousand times. Now a days, you get either a video file or a streaming link, and sometimes, the shooting script. If you get a script, btw, you can also not get a script in the original language. I know that the person who had to translate Sprited Away to Spanish was working off a German script, not the Japanese one. So yeah, some things can be lost in translation there.

  THEN you get to translate. BUT you can’t just translate word by word. You have to adapt it so that it will sound like something a person will say, and sometimes, literally is not the way to do it. And in particular, Mexican dubbing has a reputation to uphold as the “Neutral” dub that is send to most Spanish-speaking countries in Latin America, so we can’t use certain words (I don’t have the list at hand, but I remember that I couldn’t use “Llanta” for Tire, and so I had to use “Neumatico”. And no “sweaters” or “hotcakes” or stuff like that), AND we have to match the lips of the original video. Which is like, the worst nightmare ever because of what we call “labiales”, that is to say, the letters where lips close.

  I can’t tell you how much we all loved when a character gave a long winded speech with their back to the camera due to those damned closed lip letters.

  All this is to say that sometimes, the line could be “We are all in this together for good or bad”, and the translation become something more like “Estamos en esto, por las buenas o las malas” (We’re on this, the good way or the bad way) or “Estamos juntos en las buenas y en las malas” (We’re together in the good and the bad), depending on the translator, dub director, and voice actor.

  Depending on the client, that is, the original owner of the series, sometimes they will review the translation once it’s all dubbed and edited. I know that in the Avengers movie, a Disney rep was present on the cabin and forbade any changes from the script, which resulted on a couple of awkward lines in the end result. I don’t know if that’s the case for Supernatural, but I honestly doubt it. Still, translators can’t make huge changes for the dialogue. One couldn’t just ADD a relationship that wasn’t there, no matter what.

  (As an aside, due to the very conservative mindset of some tv stations, it’s more common that gay relationships become more ambiguous, by changing “I love you” to “Te quiero” which can be more of a filial love than a romantic one. And well, that one case in Sailor Moon where a gay character was changed into a woman because the dub director honestly thought the character was a woman. But that was in the nineties)

  Now, let’s go to how Castiel’s speech was translated.

  The original, according to Superwiki, went like this:

  Castiel:  You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

Dean: Why does this sound like a goodbye? Castiel: Because it is. I love you. Dean: Don't do this, Cas. Cas.

  And the translation, as it was aired, went like this (And people, you have no idea the war flashbacks transcribing this gave me, so I hope you appreciate it):

  Castiel: Eres el hombre mas amoroso sobre la Tierra. Un hombre sin egoismo; el hombre mas generoso que haya visto, y que jamas vere. Sabes que desde que nos conocimos y desde que te saque del infierno, el conocerte me ha cambiado. Porque a ti te importa. Y a mi me importa. Me importas tu. Y me importa Sam, me importa Jack, me importa todo el mundo. Y fue por ti. Tu me cambiaste, Dean.

  Dean: Porque suena esto a despedida?

  Castiel: Porque asi fue. Te amo.

  Dean: Yo a ti, Cas. (The empty appears and Billie opens the door) Cas…

  Castiel: Adios Dean

  Dean: No!

  Ok. So… At first glance, they’re pretty much the same until we get to the I love you. BUT let’s dissect it a little bit.

  Cas begins with a “Eres el hombre mas amoroso sobre la Tierra” which is not how I would’ve translated “The most caring man on Earth” since “caring” is more like “Cariñoso” rather than “amoroso” which would be “loving”, and yes, there’s a difference. Plus, “el hombre mas amoroso” sounds a bit clunky, so Personally, I’d have gone with “Eres el hombre mas cariñoso en la Tierra”, that would’ve given us more time for the rest of the speech, but I wonder if the translator choice for Amoroso instead was more due to the fact that “amor” (love) is more clearly romantic than “care” (cariño, in a sense, more on this later) and so it foreshadows the end.

  Again, with the literal clunkyness we have “Un hombre sin egoismo” (A man without egoism) which sounds weird no matter what language you speak, and it should’ve been “Un hombre dadivoso” (A giving man) or “un hombre desinteresado” (a selfless man) although the second could be mis-construed as “a man without interests” so “dadivoso” would’ve better. But the more puzzling is that the Spanish separates the selfless man from the next, which is REALLY confusing as the English is “the most loving man”, which would be “el hombre mas amoroso” making it quite redundant, so the Spanish changes it to “the most generous man”, “el hombre mas generoso”. To add to this, Cas continues with “that I have seen and I will ever see” instead of “That I know”, because it’s far more poetic. And loving.

  So yeah, Mexican Cas is basically saying that Dean Winchester is made of love and puppies.

  Ahem.

  The next part “You know, ever since I pulled you out of hell, you’ve changed me” is more or less word for word, and the only thing that changes is that the English sounds more like a question and the Spanish one is an affirmation. YOU KNOW that ever since I pulled you out of hell, you changed me.” Little verb tense play, that doesn't change much except Cas’s resolution to say what he has to say.

  And then we get to the part that made me squeal out loud. Because we go from

  “Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you”

  To

  “Porque a ti te importa. Y a mi me importa. Me importas tu. Y me importa Sam, me importa Jack, me importa todo el mundo.” Which at first glance is the same, but NOPE.

  First change: The original is in past tense “I cared”. Spanish version is in present tense: “I care”.

Which is a little non important thing except when you remember that simple present means “immutable absolute truth that won’t change with time”

  Second, the choice of word for care.

  I mentioned before that Care can be Cariño, as in filial, non romantic love (Or romantic love pet name, as it can also be Darling. It’s one of THOSE words). Other translations for care include “cuidado” (as in attention, concern, keeping, and worry), and of course “interesarse” (Which also can be care), “preocuparse” (care, bother, trouble, mind, fuss), and yes, “importar” but “importar” ONLY translates to English as a verb as “import”, “matter” “amount to” and notice how none of those words include “love”.

  Mexican Cas is not saying “you love the world, and so I do”. Mexican Cas is saying “The world matters to you, and thus it matters to me, but my feelings for the World (and Sam, and Jack) are not in the same league as my feelings for you.”

  And then Dean asks “Why does this sound like a Goodbye”, just like in English, in present tense…

  And Mexican Cas replies in PAST tense. “Porque asi fue”. And THIS is important because it means that everything he said before WAS the goodbye, and not what comes next. All the rest? Is in the past. “Because it was”. Not “Because it IS”. And the next part? Is their future.

  I love you.

  Te amo.

  Simple present. No ambiguity like “te quiero”. Spanish Te amo is for romantic love. Not brotherly, not family, not bro-mantic. ROMANTIC.

  It’s like “I’m IN love with you” (Although that’d be “Estoy enamorado de ti” and I doubt that would’ve fit in the time Misha spoke)

  And of course, the answer. “Yo a ti, Cas”. Not “And I, you” as I’ve seen it before (And I also thought it was, until transcribing the scene) but a simple “I, you, Cas.” Which ok, pretty cave-speak, but the meaning is pretty clear. Dean Winchester loves his gay angel.

  It is also telling that the empty doesn’t appear until AFTER Dean confessed, so no, Mexican Cas is not “happy with the saying”, he had to get to the “happy with the having”.

  And when Billy appears, it does seem as if he wants to say something more, but Cas is a love-sick selfsacrificing dumbass and so we all get our hearts broken.

I did get in contact with Dean Winchester’s mexican voice actor, and am waiting for answers to a small interview I did with him which includes the question “did that And I you, Cas” was in the script, and am trying to contact Castiel’s mexican voice actor. So I will be updating you on that. But I hope this clears up some of the questions about how Mexican dubbing made Destiel Canon :D

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Sept 2021 Wk 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Don’t Say No Ep 9 (Line) - It’s my corny af hurt/comfort soap opera that I watch at 1.5x and skip all the sex scenes and Fiat crying, but I like it that way, so there. Yes I am one of those people who only eats the outside of the peanut M&Ms, why do you ask? Episode recaps here. 

Bite Me Ep 5 (Viu & Viki) - sometimes I feel like this show is skipping all the important bits, or having them occur off screen intentionally, like some ancient Greek play. Still, the depth of the feeling understood between the two leads is clearly transferred to us despite that. Are they dating? Sure seems that way. Without anything being actually said about it. It’s oddly magical. I talked a bit about the north/south divide and food as a love language with regards to kao soi in this post. 

7 Project Ep 5 The Breakup Zone (iQiYi & YouTube) - another het installment, so I skipped it. Nash. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Peach of Time Ep 10 fin - A Korean BL (maybe not BL tho) featuring Thai talent that really went beyond a lot of tropes into interesting territory and allegory in a way only Korea does. I hope we get more collabs like this, perhaps happier than this one next time? RECOMMENDED only if you are prepared for The Sad. Because it is quite sad.  

x Friend or Lover (YouTube) Ep 6 - still waiting on the final of this Taiwanese indie series.  

Love is Science? (BL sub plot on Viki) Ep 14 (aired ep 15) - Taiwanese drama finally got subbed yesterday, so those of us who are waiting seem to be on a week’s delay. The BL couple actually has the most interesting story arc and the most unusual character growth. I’m enjoying how unpredictable these two are. Honestly, they could have gotten their own series with this much story - and now I really want that for after the baby comes. I’m a little sad we didn’t get the coming out in the skate park sequence (LOOK I love coming out drama, especially with sporty friends, it’s a THING), but I also get why the writers are doing what they are with these boys. And the actors sure can handle it. Taiwan at it’s finest.  

Love Is the series (YouTube) Ep 5 - continues to be fine for a V-BL but not all that actually good. 

See You After Quarantine? (Viki) Ep 6, 7 - Taiwanese gameboys with Japanese talent stuck in, what more could we ask? AND THEN they gave us some *thirsty boi* action, great kisses, and charmed the pants off... well... everyone. Taiwan, we don’t deserve you. Honestly, you spoil us. Turns out Aaron Lai is the best wingman any gay Japanese man in quarantine could ask for. Everyone should be watching this. It’s utterly charming. 

The Tasty Florida (Viki) Ep 3 & 4 - this Korean BL so fucking cute. Look it’s formless and too short but simultaneously aching and kinda special-sweet. But Korea has got to settle into something a bit longer for their BL for everyone’s sake. It’s time. Light On Me proved it was possible. I’m not asking for much, just 15 min+ of fresh content with at least a 10 ep arc. 

In Case You Missed It

Someone dropped K-BL movie cut of 2015′s The Lover series onto YouTube. The series was about 4 different couples all living in the same apartment complex, one of the 4 was a BL plot about a sunshine sweetie Japanese tourist who ends up roommates with a hot shy tsundere Korean boy. It’s 1.5 hours, proving Korea and stretch its BL when it wants to. 

Read more about it here. 

GOSSIP!

Rumors of OhmFluke to star in new Thai BL Oh! My Sunshine Night. It’s from Newsinfinity Entertainment who announced the casting and showed the couple in workshops. This is this (small) production house’s first BL and they aim to “appeal to to general audiences* with a “broader view of BL that everyone will watch.” Which is code for LOW heat, light gay, soft boys. If this happens I think we can expect this to be Thailand doing Korean-style BL. 

* GENERAL AUDIENCE? Let’s be clear no piece of media will EVER appeal to everyone. Here is the USA “general audience” is code for “families with socially conservative values and children who are still minors” AKA what used to be prime time TV watchers AKA suburbia. 

 The concept is analytically old fashioned and so fractured at this juncture (socially economically spatially politically) that “general audience” is actually impossible to target and it doesn’t really exist. But try telling that to the publicity department. 

We also call this the “Disney live action demo.” (Think Pirates of the Caribbean.) I occasionally refer to them as “the Simpsons.” And they’re about as realistic. All that to say I am VERY suspicious of Oh! My Sunshine Night‘s production house. 

To My Star does seem to be getting a second season, same director, same mains. Korea is much better about executing on its promises than Thailand, but until I see proof of filming or an honest trailer, my favorite boys are staying in the gossip section. I don’t wanna get my hopes up. (Honestly now, how many of you also want an alt reality with these two as a couple but Kim Kang Min playing his long suffering cardiologist intern character from Hospital Playlist? Just me?) 

I reported on Unforgotten Night a while ago. It seems to have been fully cast now, I still think the publicity stills make it look like a joke. But with this line-up I guess it’s even more of an alt answer to KinnPorsche. 

You know that thing that happens in media when suddenly we get multiples of the same style of movie or show at once? It’s now happening with BL. Love triangles. Restaurants. And now mafia. 

Cutie Pie (our arranged marriage Thai BL staring Zee) dropped some wardrobe fitting photo ops. Also... fancy pants sexy suits that fit, so that’s exciting. 

Starting Soon

My Mate Match from Starhunter should be starting on Line TV next Saturday. Usually, Line has subs relatively quickly and is available internationally. However the fact that the trailer is not subbed and the show is not listed on Line’s site has me nervous. No idea on length of run either. 

Starhunter studio doesn’t have a great track record in general for narrative arcs and this one is not based on a y-novel so could get waffly. This is a roommates love triangle BL about a boy who is looking for one roommate and ends up with two vying for his home and his heart. Stars Jet as the uke lead which I’m pretty happy about as he’s got great comedic timing and is accustomed to BL. He’s opposite two friends/co-actors from Gen Y and other projects, so we know they’re comfortable with each other. They could do great things... if they get a decent script. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moment?

[eepylimes17]

Incoming TUA S3 rant: MAJOR SEASON 3 SPOILERS AHEAD

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Ayo so I tottaly get Allison being emotionally distraught in season 3 it makes sense, I don’t like it though. The shit she pulled?? I’m not fucking with it. I was all like wtf girlie I liked you for a bit there. (Lowkey really wanted to see an actual scene of her beating the shit out of conservatives instead of flashes) Like she just when downhill FAST after Viktors coming out. Like Bitch wtf are you doing. Like yeah you lost people. Yeah it hurts. Yeah this is 3 consecutive times of just stressed out—but guess what—SO IS EVERYONE ELSE HERE, Five hasn’t gotten a break in 30 damn days!! Like I know you need time to process this shit but like killing Harlan is comparable to a hypothetical Viktor killing Claire.

And she thinks she didn’t do anything wrong? Like “I’m hurting so I’m going to make sure my brother feels the same damn way I do, (even though he also lost the love of this life too) and I’m not going to apologize but get angry at him because Harlan was genuinely accidentally responsible for all of this?” Like how the fuck is that okay.

Also how quickly all the sparrows die off?? I’m sorry but that was just uncool with me. I liked Jayme and Alphonso’s dynamic, I wanted to see more of it! I like Marcus he was so cool! And Fai? LOVE HER I WANT MORE SHES SO BADASS. What where some of the sparrows big crime fighting stories? Like I wanted both of the entire families coming together in some way shape or form to the boss battle. I wanted Sloane’s family to see her get married, not just Ben.

And don’t get me STARTED on how underwhelming the ending to this season was. Like so just Allison gets her happily ever after with her daughter and Ray? Like um okay. Luther doesn’t get a happily ever after with Sloane (that was obviously stated) and Everyone else is just screwed over on Hargreaves-topia?? Sorry but no thanks. Also there is NO mention of Davey at ALL in this season or even Klaus offhandedly mentioning what ended up happening to him. I want ANSWERS people!!

Like I’m unsure if there is going to be a season 4 or not, everything seems mostly tied up (however messily that is) but if there is here is some genuine shit I want to see happen.

-Allison being happy with Ray and Claire, realizing something is missing. Her family. She tries to reconnect and no one wants to see her. She then tries reconnecting with Viktor and he straight up tells her off. Like a whole, “I don’t care if you feel bad. You hurt us. And you aren’t even sorry because only you got your happily ever after. I hope you feel bad that we aren’t in your life. After all, you chose this.”

-everyone reconnecting with birth moms/Biological families/biological family history

-Sparrows somehow meeting up together and just being happy together

-*slams drink down on table* MORE HIMBO LUTHER, I LOVE HIMBO LUTHER, WE ALL LOVE HIMBO LUTHER

That is all for now

[charlie-minion]

Could the same SPN finale make a little more sense with some additions/changes?

I’ve had the idea for this post stuck in my head for days now, but with every new conspiracy theory and every new eventuality in the fandom, it became difficult to cool down enough to write something less ship-related and more narrative-focused.

What Supernatural and non-SPN fans have to understand is that a lot of us have expressed disappointment and frustration after 15x20, not because of Destiel (that’s just one part of the whole problem), but because the finale doesn’t make sense. Everything was leading up to something beautifully crafted until the end of 15x19. Beyond that, it’s hard to understand what happened. The story rendered all the character growth irrelevant, invalidated the themes of free will and “family don’t end in blood”, regressed to the original brother codependency they spent 15 years trying to overcome, made a queer non-binary character in a male vessel and a deaf female character basically disposable, and kept the show’s reputation of queerbaiting and misogyny until its very last breath.

That’s not going out with a bang! At least not a positive one. We all were ready to mourn Supernatural, but we wanted to feel proud of its legacy, and somehow TPTB managed to tarnish that legacy in less than 45 minutes. What a way to ruin the other more than 13,600 minutes of story!

It doesn’t matter who is to blame (The CW, Robert Singer, Andrew Dabb). It doesn’t matter why it happened (homophobia, censorship, marketing for Walker, bad writing). What matters is that at the end of the day, the finale that aired is what we got and that’s going to hurt for a long time. It hurts even more when we realize that the same finale could have easily made more sense, even without being perfect.

That’s what I want to do in this post. I want to show you how things would have been less jarring (for the fandom), while still keeping the goal to please the general audience.

Before I begin rewriting 15x20, I have to mention that I talked to my conservative boomer sister about the finale. She hasn’t watched the second half of season 15 yet (she’s waiting for Netflix to have it), but she’s been watching the show for a long time (she introduced me to it 8 years ago). She’s the perfect example of a viewer from the general audience. Loves the show but doesn’t give a second thought to it and definitely isn’t paying attention to character development or themes. Doesn’t engage with fandom, actors, or any of the show’s social media. Pure GA! When I told her the series finale had aired, she asked me about it and I refused to give her spoilers. Because of that, she told me the ending SHE wanted. She said she would be happy with either of two possibilities: the boys retiring and finally living a normal life OR they going to heaven and finding peace at last. She saw Sam and Dean as a unit, which means: both retiring or both going to heaven. AND she saw Cas as part of that, too. She wasn’t so sure about Jack. And for her, we could use the “Eileen who?” and it wouldn’t be a joke. She didn’t remember her.

NOW IT’S TIME TO WRITE A NEW VERSION OF 15X20 (KEEPING 15X18 AND 15X19 EXACTLY THE SAME AS THEY AIRED). This will be a very long post:

The opening remains almost the same. No “Carry on my wayward son” to induce feels. Too soon and too predictable! (Reasoning: Everyone was expecting it to play right there, so it would bring more tears at the end)

In the opening, after the scene where Jack says “People won’t need to pray to me or sacrifice to me”, we also see the scene from 15x19 where he says “I won’t be hands on”. Then we see the rest of the opening as it was. (Reasoning: People needed to be reminded that Jack would NOT intervene and that’s why later on, he would NOT save Dean).

We get the same montage, but when Sam takes a break from his morning run, we see him reading a message on his phone. A simple: “Hey Sam, what’s new?” from Eileen. Sam smiles fondly and begins to type a response we don’t get to see. The next scene continues the same, Sam making breakfast. (Reasoning: A text was a very simple way to show that Eileen was alive and still in communication with Sam).

The montage slowly ends as Sam enters the library (not after he sits down). He seems to be talking on the phone but we only hear an “I’ll tell him. Bye”. As he walks towards the table, he tells Dean: “Charlie says hi. Mentioned something about Stevie’s perfect scrambled eggs we have to try.” Dean’s answer is “Awesome!” (Reasoning: Just ONE line was needed to unbury Charlie and her girlfriend. ONE LINE).

Sam sits down, opens his laptop and everything continues the same. The title card shows for the last time.

YOU SEE? In the first 4 minutes they could have acknowledged that THREE WOMEN were alive and safe: Eileen, Charlie and Stevie. It wasn’t hard! Don’t blame bad writing on Covid! Now let’s continue.

Sam and Dean arrive at the Pie Fest just the same. Dean goes to get some “damn pie” and Sam takes out his phone. He dials and when someone picks up, he says “Hey, Jody, how are ya?” We don’t hear the rest of the conversation. The scene moves to Dean coming with his 6 portions of pie. Dean sits down and Sam tells him, “Talked to Jody. The other hunters haven’t had much work lately.” “That’s good, isn’t it?”, Dean says. All we get from Sam is “Yeah.” So, Dean looks at him and asks “what’s wrong?” like it happened in the episode. (Reasoning: Again, a couple of lines to make sure the people that were killed in 15x18 are safe and remembered by the boys in 15x20. Why is this important? Because they’re family!)

The conversation about Sam’s sad face happens the same. Sam is the one that mentions Cas and Jack. (Reasoning: Because this episode was so Sam-centered, it’s obvious he was the protagonist in the finale. If we see him communicating with Eileen, Charlie, and Jody, then it’s NORMAL, even expected of him to be the one to bring up Cas and Jack). Without these additions, it’s harder for people to understand that most of the finale was NOT from Dean’s POV but from Sam’s.

Dean’s “if we don’t keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing” stays the same. (Reasoning: I believe it’s necessary that the show sticks to the importance of “letting go” and “what is dead should stay dead” for the first time ever because the message is “even when you lose someone you love, you can still find some form of happiness and keep living, for you and for them, because that’s what they would have wanted”. Bringing someone back means “I can’t live without you”, and that’s just more codependency. It’s how the demon deals began in the Winchester family –Mary being the first one to do it. This would explain why Dean didn’t ask Jack to bring Cas back, as he asked Chuck. He understood Jack was NOT going to interfere anymore and accepted it. Besides, when Cas saved Dean from hell, Dean thought he didn’t deserve to be saved. This time that Cas saved him, Dean finally feels worthy enough to accept that YES, HE DESERVED TO BE SAVED ALL ALONG, just as much as he deserved to be loved by that angel of the Lord. In this scene, Dean also says that the pain is not gonna go away, which means that from HIS PERPECTIVE, it still hurts that Cas is not there. The problem is that the finale is not showing his POV but Sam’s.  

Sam pies Dean on the face just the same. (Reasoning: That part was just to avoid ending the scene on a sad note).

Everything related to the case happens exactly the same. (Reasoning: At this point, people don’t really care about the MoTW, they care about Sam and Dean).

NOTE 1: The case is important to show that even when the Winchesters are finally free of Chuck’s influence, they CHOOSE to keep hunting. It isn’t something they do out of revenge or because it is their destiny anymore. Maybe they were forced into the life at first, but they’ve learned to find joy in saving people. Being hunters is who they are. However, the fact that a job application was shown on Dean’s desk is also important because it means he was willing to explore what else was there for him besides hunting. Maybe he could find a balance? Maybe he was thinking it was time to quit? We will never know! The thing is that Sam only finds out about it when he goes into Dean’s room after his brother is dead, so maybe that’s when it hits him that Dean wanted to explore his options, and Sam starts to think it’s time for him to do the same.  

NOTE 2: I believe the masks the vampires are wearing is something we can blame on covid. If they had their faces covered, it was easier to use people from the SPN crew for some scenes, instead of using more actors unnecessarily.

NOTE 3: When Sam and Dean arrive at the barn, we get 3 visuals to remember Cas in the same scene (those are for the fandom, not for the general audience): a) the barn, obviously; b) the bag that resembles Cas’ trenchcoat so much that many people thought that’s what it was; and c) two feathers hanging on Dean’s right when he opens the trunk.

The scene with the throwing star happens the same. (Reasoning: The episode is still told from Sam’s point of view, so it makes sense that he fondly sees his brother as a man child).

Jenny the vampire? Uhhh… I mean, it’s not the best piece of writing I’ve ever seen, but it’s not the worst, so okay. That stays the same. (Reasoning: There is none, but she’s not what really ruined the finale, so whatever!)

Dean still dies impaled on a rebar. (Reasoning: OK. HERE ME OUT!!! I hate as much as everyone else that Dean is killed. I think it’s lazy writing, but that’s what we got and I can’t change that in this re-write, so if killing Dean is what we have to work around, then, memes aside, death by rebar is better and here’s why. There’s no one to blame for Dean’s death: no Chuck (the boys were willingly hunting even after Chuck was defeated), no vampires (they were all killed and were no real threat, so it was impossible for Sam to begin a quest for revenge against all vampires. What was Sam going to blame? A rebar? Can you kill it? Hunt it? NO. It was an ordinary death, a stupid accident. Just like any person can die at any moment by slipping on a banana peel. Is it a good death? No, but it’s good to know he doesn’t die trying to save Sam or Cas, because Dean Winchester is NOT willing to give up his life in exchange for anyone else’s anymore.

Sam takes out his phone and says he’ll call for help, but his phone is more visible to the audience. He dials and it’s almost to his ear when Dean stops him and Sam hesitantly hangs up. (Reasoning: People have complained that Sam didn’t call an ambulance, but actually he tried to. It’s just that people missed that part, maybe?)

After Sam puts his phone back in his pocket and says “OK” to Dean, he adds, “I’ll pray to Jack”. Dean’s immediate answer is: “No hands on, remember?” “But Dean”, Sam says, and Dean interrupts him with “OK listen to me” and tells Sam what to do with the kids they rescued. (Reasoning: Jack is God now and how come Sam didn’t remember? The viewers remembered, so it was necessary to include a line that ruled the option out and that showed Dean didn’t want Jack to intervene. The rest was fine).

The lines “You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?” disappear completely from Dean’s monologue. (Reasoning: This is the most problematic part of Dean’s dying speech. He fought God and earned free will, he is no longer controlled by fate or destiny. Accepting that he is supposed to die on a hunt regresses his character development and denies his desire to keep living. This was a total mistake and should be removed).

Instead, if going to heaven is the ending TPTB wanted to give Dean, at least he should say something more empowering. Sam tells him that both of them are going to take the kids somewhere safe. Dean answers and the scene follows like this: “No. Sammy, we made our choice, didn’t we?”, he smiles with difficulty. “We were free to write our own story and we did. We decided to keep saving people, hunting things. Because it’s what we love despite the risks.” (Reasoning: If Dean’s going to die it doesn’t have to feel like it was always meant to be that way. He should die knowing that he exerted his free will until his last breath).

The rest of the dialogue between Sam and Dean happens almost the same. Except that instead of Dean saying “‘cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me”, he says “’cause when it all came down to it, we’ve always had each other’s backs. Always.” And instead of Sam saying “Don’t leave me”, he says “I still can try to save you.” (Reasoning: It sounds way less codependent without diminishing the importance of their love and support for each other).

Besides, let’s change Dean’s “I’m not leaving you” for “You don’t have to be alone. You’ve still got family.” The rest stays the same word by word. (Reasoning: Dean reminds Sam that “family don’t end in blood” and there are still lots of people out there who love Sam and will be with him).

“I love you so much, my baby brother” stays exactly the same. (Reasoning: Dean always had trouble to express the big L word. I always believed and said many times that before Dean could say “I love you” to Cas or any other character, he had to say it to Sam. So, this is important as part of Dean speaking his truth).

The last part when Dean insists Sam tell him that it’s okay stays the same. (Reasoning: It’s the final moment when the codependency cycle breaks. No more running in circles).

The forehead touch between them stays the same. (Reasoning: I think I would do something similar if my sister were dying. I know there are w*ncest shippers out there, but it shouldn’t matter because the moment feels appropriate for that kind of goodbye). 

See? There are changes but not too many. That’s why I’ve been saying that it was easier to get it right, yet they still managed to screw it up.

The second montage stays the same. (Reasoning: Life goes on, but of course Sam has to mourn).

The call about a case in Austin remains the same. (Reasoning: It’s the only part of the episode where someone from the found family is mentioned, so I think that Donna’s name is perfect in that moment. However, without the other additions I’ve made in this re-write, that off-hand mention feels too little. Its purpose was to tell the viewers that if Donna was alive, so were the others, but the way the episode was executed gave us an isolated Sam, incapable of having friends and a family without Dean).  

After 30 minutes of Sam’s POV, let’s finally see the last bit of Dean’s POV that we’ll ever get.

Dean arrives in Heaven and Bobby receives him. All their conversation stays almost the same, except that after mentioning Rufus and before saying “and your mom and dad…”, Bobby adds an “Ellen and Jo let me borrow their place”. (Reasoning: If you’re gonna put the man outside the Harvelle’s place, at least mention them for Jack’s sake!).

Besides, after Bobby tells Dean that Sam will be along and that time in heaven is different, Dean gives a small smile and says, “Well, there’s no rush. I want him to have a long, happy life.” Bobby answers with: “I would expect nothing less from you, boy” and tells him he got everything he could ever want, etc., just like it happened in the episode, and finishes by asking “What are you gonna do now, Dean?” (Reasoning: It’s important we know for sure that Dean is NOT codependent anymore and that he doesn’t expect to have a miserable afterlife just because his brother is not there yet).

Instead of saying “I think I’ll go for a drive” Dean says, “I think I know what I want” and walks towards baby. Bobby still tells him to have fun. (Reasoning: “Know what I want” is ambiguous enough to help us introduce the last piece of the puzzle, the one thing Dean’s wanted for many seasons and has never been able to express).

 The biggest change is coming:

Dean gets on the Impala and has a moment of silence while he contemplates the wheel. He begins to pray: “Hey, Cas, you got your ears on? I hear you’ve been busy working on this updated Heaven with Jack. You were right about him, Cas. You had faith in him and he saved us all. You could always see the best in everyone, even when they couldn’t see it themselves. Even when I couldn’t see it myself. There’s so much I want to tell you. Maybe you can visit sometime. I hope prayer’s still a thing up here.” (Reasoning: Dean’s side of the confession was unaddressed and that was terrible writing. If there was no way to get him to speak his truth textually, at least take him as close to it as possible).

We listen to a flutter of wings and a “Hello, Dean” from the back seat. We don’t see Cas, but the camera shows us Dean’s cocky smile and he says “Took you long enough.” He turns around slowly. End of scene. (Reasoning: The flutter of wings confirms that angels have their wings back and ties that loose end. The final “hello, Dean” was highly anticipated and it made sense. If Misha couldn’t be there to film, for whatever reason, or if the problem was the kind of conversation Dean and Cas would have, then don’t show it, but leave the door open. Let us know that the two characters were reunited and will talk, but whatever Dean has to say is so private that it’s not for us to hear, only for Cas.  

We finally hear “Carry on my wayward son” and get a montage that begins with Sam playing with his kid. Then we see Dean driving, super happy, and Sam living his life to the fullest. We still get Sam’s Blurry Wife, BUT… we see pictures of Eileen in the living room (not just of John, Mary, Sam, and Dean). We also see photos of Jody, Donna, Charlie, and AU!Bobby. (Reasoning: FAMILY DON’T END IN BLOOD).

The scene where Sam is wearing the party wig and looks miserable inside the Impala is cut and nobody talks about it ever again because it never existed. We get a scene of Sam teaching his son how to fix the car instead. (Reasoning: First of all, don’t give Sam a life where years later he’s still in pain. Second of all, the fucking wig was a crime).

Sam’s dying scene stays the same. The only thing is that his son signs a couple of phrases to him before actually speaking. (Reasoning: More confirmation that Dean Jr. is Eileen’s son).

We hear the final “Evanescence-like Carry on my wayward son”. Again we see the photos and there’s family other than the Winchesters there. (Reasoning: Obvious at this point).

The rest is exactly the same. The show began with two brothers and it’s okay if the last scene is with the two brothers reunited in Heaven. At this point, the other parts of the story are acceptable enough for us to feel happy that they get to see each other again after years of a happy (after)life.

Now look me in the eye and tell me this was too hard to execute. I still think that bad writing is a thing we can’t deny here, adding to the possible meddling of the Network. Maybe Dabb wanted us to hate the finale because he couldn’t get away with what he truly wanted. If that was his intention, then kudos to him. He and The CW really gave us a finale that only 30% of the fandom liked.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this and it helps to give you some peace of mind. In my heart, this was the finale we got. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t drop the ball either.