#and it's entirely independent of my and me work!

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 2) Chapter Sixteen

Saiki Kusuo x Reader

Chapter Sixteen: Teruhashi's Tears and Rifuta's Crush

Summary: Teruhashi comes over and interrupts Saiki's New Year, but somehow she isn't the worst guest that comes. Also, (Y/N)'s hypothesis is spot-on about Rifuta.

            Mr. and Mrs. Saiki laughed as (Y/N) told them about one of the many (unfortunate) adventures they had been on with Saiki—this time a tale of the karaoke party where Saiki had to end up performing. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t want his parents to know he’d done something so public since it would encourage them to bother him to do stupid stuff in front of people, but it was a fond memory since (Y/N) had been there, taken most of the attention, and made the entire thing worth it. So, he let (Y/N) continue as they beamed when they remembered dancing around and pretended to do it again. All-in-all, this was turning out to be a perfect New Year’s Day.

            Alright, I’ve got the plan! I casually tell him Happy New Year, and then when I mention the festival, he’ll want to come along!

            Saiki’s mood darkened. Of course Teruhashi was already here to bother him on a lovely day. So, to stop her from interrupting, he grabbed onto the doorbell of his house with his psychic abilities and smothered the sound of it.

            There. No ruining my day.

            “Hey, can I help you?”

            Saiki jerked as he heard a voice speaking to Teruhashi. He hadn’t heard any other thoughts approaching, and the voice—

            Him!

            “What’s wrong, Kusuo?” asked (Y/N), noticing Saiki’s tiny change in mood.

            There was a knock at the door, and Mrs. Saiki stood. She peered out the window and beamed.

            “It’s Kusuke and Kokomi!” she said. “What a lovely surprise.”

            Oh, that explains his mood, thought (Y/N), smothering a little chuckle. Saiki saw their amusement and scowled—though there was no real malice. (Y/N) chuckled and patted his hand. “We’ll deal with it.”

            “Don’t let them in,” said Saiki as his mom headed to the door, but she was already opening the door.

            “Welcome in!” she said, beaming. “Oh, Kusuke, you’re home!”

            “Mom, it’s been a while,” said Kusuke, smiling.

            “Happy New Year,” greeted Teruhashi politely. She saw (Y/N) and started slightly. “Oh, (Y/N). You’re here?”

            Fortunately for Teruhashi, there was no annoyance at seeing them. They were friends, and that friendship meant Teruhashi’s inevitable jealousy at not getting Saiki alone was dampened. (And that was fortunate for Teruhashi because bad thoughts about (Y/N) meant getting onto Saiki’s bad side).

            “My parents are out of town on a work trip,” said (Y/N), smiling. “The Saikis were nice enough to invite me over.”

            That was the complete truth, they merely left out that Mrs. Saiki had also rambled about how “if (Y/N)’s family wasn’t going to take care of them as a family, then they were going to be part of the Saiki family, and Kusuo should get a move on and make sure they never leave because they’re just too sweet and—” (and so on and so forth).

            “When are your parents actually at the house?” said Saiki.

            (Y/N) shrugged. They were pretty much used to living independently at this point.

            “Wait, do you two know each other?” said Mr. Saiki, looking between Teruhashi and Kusuke.

            “She was ringing the doorbell, so I brought her in,” said Kusuke. His intelligence had just known it would irritate Saiki.

            “The doorbell?” said Mr. Saiki.

            “Oh, my, I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear it!” said Mrs. Saiki.

            (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at Saiki. He looked away, and they tutted.

            This is a huge revelation! I had no idea Saiki had an older brother! thought Teruhashi. But I don’t really like his type…Speaking of siblings “Is Kuriko here today?”

            “What?” said Saiki’s parents.

            Oh, right. Saiki had forgotten about his feminine name. I pretended to by my own sister, who doesn’t exist. I have to let them know.

            “Kuriko?” said Mrs. Saiki, frowning.

            “Oh, right, kuriko!” Mr. Saiki grabbed something from the kitchen—literal kuriko. “Here is kuriko for you.”

            That’s kuri chestnut paste.

            “No, I mean Saiki’s sister,” said Teruhashi. She looked at (Y/N). “You met her.”

            “Right,” said (Y/N), smiling. “Isn’t it amazing how similar she and Kusuo look? Especially since their brother—”

            “You can call me Kusuke,” said Kusuke.

            “No.” Saiki didn’t need him being familiar or friendly with his partner.

            “—looks so different with the blonde hair. Kuriko and Kusuo both have pink,” said (Y/N).

            “That’s true,” said Teruhashi, smiling.

            Good clue, thought Saiki. Hopefully his parents would get the hint.

            “I don’t know any Kur—Mm!”

            Kusuke shoved the kuri chestnut paste into his dad’s mouth and smiled. “Oh, of course! Our sister, Kuriko.” Of course the genius had figured the plot out. “She’s abroad right now, like I was. You know her?”

            “Oh, really?” said Mr. Saiki, still a little confused but starting to get it.

            “I do,” said Teruhashi.

            Unbelievable, thought Saiki.

            “Which country did she go to?” asked Teruhashi.

            “Paraguay,” said Mr. Saiki.

            “Paraguay?” said Teruhashi, amazed.

            “Shut up,” said Saiki to Mr. Saiki.

            “Kusuo, I have a present for you!” said Kusuke, successfully changing the subject (not that a “gift” from Kusuke would be much better than the present conversation). “I have one for you, too, (Y/N)!” He held up envelopes.

            Never mind, this is good. Saiki could see the money inside with his x-ray vision.

            “Oh, I can’t accept that,” said (Y/N), waving their hands.

            Teruhashi glanced between (Y/N) and the envelope. Saiki’s brother prepared a gift for them? That’s very close…

            “Well, you are Kusuo’s pa—”

            “Pal!” interrupted (Y/N) before Kusuke could blurt out the word “partner.” Embarrassed, they took the enveloped and bowed. “Thank you!”

            Close one… (Y/N) and Saiki breathed a sigh of relief.

            We need to get out of here, thought Saiki. He tapped (Y/N) on the shoulder and gestured to the door.

            They nodded and grabbed their coat—pink with hearts embroidered on the pockets. They headed towards the door, and Saiki pulled on his boots.

            “We should invite Kokomi,” whispered (Y/N).

            “No,” said Saiki. He wanted a nice moment with (Y/N).

            “She and Kusuke with each other is going to be a problem,” pointed out (Y/N).

            Saiki hated they were right. “Fine, but then we go out the two of us.”

            “Of course,” said (Y/N), kissing Saiki’s cheek before going back to the living room to invite Kokomi.

            Saiki let out a little sigh. Oh, wow. He’d never get tired of their affection.

l

            This is the worst-case scenario. Saiki glared ahead of himself as Kusuke walked through the crowd with them.

            Why is his brother tagging along? Teruhashi had deflated. With (Y/N) at least that was a friend and she could still have a moment with Saiki—Not happening—but with Kusuke, that was going to be weird.

            I should have known Kusuke would tag along, thought (Y/N). The genius had known what would annoy Saiki.

            I need to get out of here with (Y/N), decided Saiki. Risking Teruhashi and Kusuke interacting was fine—he was too tired to care.

            “By the way, do you have a crush on Kusuo?” said Kusuke, turning around with an “innocent” smile. He looked directly at Teruhashi.

            Her face promptly turned several shades of red, and she coughed. “You shouldn’t embarrass Saiki like that!” she said nervously. “And we’re just friends! It’s nothing more!”

            “Oh, good,” said Kusuke.

            He knows she’s lying. (Y/N) and Saiki exchanged a worried glance.

            I knew I wouldn’t like him, thought Teruhashi.

            “I mean, you obviously don’t have anything in common,” said Kusuke, still with that “innocent” smile. “You’re different as night and day.”

            “What?” said Teruhashi. “Saiki and I have plenty—”

            “What are you saying?” Kusuke’s smile had dropped, and he looked at her coldly.

            “What?” said Teruhashi.

            “I can see through you. You’re not worthy of Kusuo,” said Kusuke.

            Teruhashi froze. No one had ever spoken to her like that.

            “You thought you could fool me?” said Kusuke. “Well, it’s to be expected. You probably have been pampered your whole life because of your looks. But Kusuo is on a different level.”

            “Hey!” said (Y/N), glaring at him. “Leave Kokomi alone!” Even if they knew Teruhashi didn’t have a chance with Saiki, Kusuke was just being mean.

            I realize now why I don’t like this guy, thought Teruhashi, staring at Kusuke with wide, shocked eyes. He hasn’t gasped even once since meeting me. There’s never been anyone who wasn’t interested in me.

            “Come on, Kokomi. Let’s leave this jerk,” said (Y/N), taking Teruhashi’s hand. Kusuke had been unnecessarily cruel, and (Y/N) wasn’t going to stand around while their friend was hurt.

            “Don’t look at me like that, Kusuo,” said Kusuke as Saiki glared. “I was just teasing her. We both know only one person is worthy of you, and that’s because they aren’t shallow and have some real spirit! They stand up to everyone! That’s some real power against a monster like you.”

            Saiki ignored the insults directed at him and the compliments towards (Y/N). (He wasn’t sure whether to be pleased that his entire family liked (Y/N) or irritated that even his annoying brother liked them).

            “Kokomi?” said (Y/N), gazing at their friend in worry. They still held her hand.

            I’ve never felt such shame. I won’t forgive him! declared Teruhashi. She sniffled, and a tear fell. “I—I never meant to—”

            “Sorry, I know you’re a talented actress, too,” said Kusuke, looking past the crying. But everyone else was glaring at him as the crowd noticed the perfect pretty girl crying. “What’s going on? These people are surrounding us.”

            “They’re surrounding you. Not us,” said Saiki, taking (Y/N)’s hand and pulling them back as the crowd advanced on Kusuke.

            My secret pretty girl technique, Angel Tears! thought Teruhashi.

            “Who do you think you are?!” shouted the crowd. “You made Teruhashi cry!” They rushed Kusuke.

            “Are these all her boyfriends?” he remarked.

            “We’ll bash your head in!” cried the crowd.

            “Kusuo? (Y/N)?” Kusuke sweat-dropped and looked at them.

            “What do you want us to do?” said Saiki, deadpan.

            “Get him!” The crowd jumped onto Kusuke.

            “Wow, he was defeated by Kokomi,” said (Y/N), impressed.

            “And there’s a perfect distraction.” Saiki pulled (Y/N) through the crowd as Teruhashi watched her “hard work” proudly.

            “Shouldn’t we be worried about Kusuke?” said (Y/N), looking back at the crowd.

            “He’ll be fine. He always has a plan,” said Saiki.

            “Fair enough,” chuckled (Y/N). “And he does deserve a little bit of fear for being so mean.”

            Saiki smirked. He agreed. And, now, as he pulled (Y/N) far away from Teruhashi and her fans, he could really enjoy the New Year Festival. With (Y/N) and only (Y/N).

            “We should go on the Ferris Wheel,” said (Y/N) excitedly, squeezing his hand.

            “Okay.” Anything they wanted, they were getting.

            And so, he let them lead him to the line and watched them grin out the window of the compartment all the way to the top. (Y/N) smiled as they saw the city spread out before them, all the people small and faraway.

            “So pretty,” they said, smiling.

            “Very,” agreed Saiki. But he wasn’t looking at the view. No, he was looking at the smile on (Y/N)’s face. And, unable to help himself—why would he when they looked so handsome in the golden light of the sun—he leaned and kissed their cheek.

            (Y/N)’s cheeks warmed, they turned towards him, and, before he could pull back, (Y/N) kissed him. Saiki happily kissed back.

            A perfect New Years.

            What could be better than this?

l

            “We have a problem,” said Saiki as the lunch bell rang.

            “Huh?” said (Y/N). “Are you alright?”

            “Rifuta is going to try to confess to me,” said Saiki.

            “Uh-oh,” said (Y/N). They had forgotten about Rifuta developing a crush on Saiki (though they also knew that Rifuta 100% also had a crush on Teruhashi and was a bit confused).

            “Let’s leave to eat lunch before she gets here,” said Saiki.

            “Got it,” said (Y/N), grabbing their bento box and following Saiki out. They took the long way around the school and headed to the yard. There were too many people around for Rifuta to confess, so that was good.

            “I’ve been using my telepathy to give her dreams so that she hates me, but it’s not working,” said Saiki.

            “She and Kokomi are very single-minded,” said (Y/N). They paused. “But I think that Rifuta is just a bit confused. Maybe if you get her to realize she’s head-over-heels for Kokomi more than she is for you, that’ll help?”

            “…She’d hate me for Teruhashi liking me, and then my reputation would be ruined,” said Saiki.

            “Fair point.” (Y/N) winced. They’d seen Kusuke get dragged away by people who were angry that Teruhashi was upset, and they didn’t want to see what would happen to Saiki if he upset Rifuta—it wouldn’t be as bad as upsetting Teruhashi, but it wasn’t preferable. “So what do we do?”

            “I don’t know,” said Saiki.

            “…What if we acted closer?” said (Y/N).

            Saiki looked at them. “What?”

            “If Rifuta thinks you’re dating someone, she’ll back off. She’s just competing with Teruhashi, not really interested in you, so it could help,” said (Y/N). They waved their hands. “I-It doesn’t have to be me so it’s not obvious we’re really dating, we can get Miko or something, but it’s just an idea—”

            “Let’s do it.” Saiki was desperate to get Rifuta off his back, and maybe being unavailable would explain his “unbelievable” disinterest in Rifuta.

            “Okay, I’ll text Miko—”

            “No, you and me.”

            “Are you sure? If she really believes we’re dating, that’s another person finding out,” said (Y/N). “And it could get out that we’re dating—”

            “If it does, it does. It has to happen at some point,” said Saiki.

The blowback from Teruhashi and the craziness of people finding out would be troublesome, but if it meant just being himself with (Y/N), in public, then he was fine with it. (Y/N) and Saiki both knew their relationship as their business and no one else’s, but they supposed it would have to happen at some point.

            Plus, this could begin to get the idea of them dating into people’s heads so when it finally came out it made a sense. It eased people into it so they didn’t freak. (Honestly, it was fairly obvious to the audience that they liked one another, so why wouldn’t it be for people in the story?)

            “Okay,” said (Y/N). “Then we’ll act affectionate to get Rifuta to realize you’re not interested for a real reason.”

            Saiki nodded.

l

            (Y/N) counted to ten as Saiki entered the lobby of the school to get his shoes. Rifuta was waiting for him, and he had walked right by her. Now it was their turn. They were a little giddy at the idea of being affectionate with Saiki in public. They weren’t a huge PDA person, and they didn’t care about people knowing they were dating—they didn’t act much differently than they had before except for being sweeter and kissing—but this was still fun.

            Alright. Here we go.

            “Kusuo!” (Y/N) smiled as they rounded the corner and walked up to Saiki. They took his hand. “Are you ready to go out?” They leaned in, their head on his shoulder.

            “What?” Rifuta couldn’t help but speak aloud as she stared at the sight. He’s got a partner?! Really? No way!

            “I am,” said Saiki, brushing their hair from their face affectionately. “Let’s go.”

            “Saiki! Is that your partner?” said Rifuta, getting right to it. Her hands were on her hips as she looked between the pair.

            Didn’t expect her to be so direct. I guess someone else is really finding out today.

            “I am,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Your Teruhashi’s friend and are dating him?” said Rifuta, hands on her hips.

            “Hm? What does Teruhashi have to do with who’s dating him?” said (Y/N), tilting their head in “confusion.”

            They don’t know Teruhashi likes him?! Oh, no! How will Teruhashi feel?!

            Saiki heard Rifuta’s thoughts and blinked. (Y/N)’s analysis of a suppressed crush on Teruhashi was correct.

            “W-Well, uh, doesn’t your friend know?” said Rifuta, trying to cover.

            “I think relationships are very private. Don’t you?” said (Y/N), smiling and friendly as ever.

            “I, uh, I guess—” Rifuta was growing confused by her worry for Teruhashi and how to react to (Y/N) still being sweet as usual. No thoughts of liking Saiki herself came to her mind—Saiki was pleased by that. I don’t feel jealousy, hate, or anything. Weird. I’m just confused. I guess I don’t like him after all?

            Looks like it went well, thought Saiki.

            But then why do I still feel so upset? Why does my stomach hurt? Why do I keep thinking about how Teruhashi will react to this? thought Rifuta.

            “Uh, oh, Kusuo, Kokomi’s coming,” said (Y/N), seeing a glow appearing at the end of the hall. “I don’t think we can risk her finding out.” Her crush was still so steady that the blowback to their friendship would be horrendous.

            Oh, no! Teruhashi is coming! She’ll see them together! I have to do something!

            What?

            Rifuta shoved (Y/N) and Saiki forward, and they stumbled into the storage closet. She slammed it closed behind them and stood in front.

            …Huh?

            I did not see that coming.

            “Oh, Imu!” said Teruhashi, spotting her friend. “Long time no see.”

            “Y-Yes,” said Rifuta, growing nervous.

            “What’s was that?” whispered (Y/N), looking at Saiki.

            “I don’t know.” He supported himself by his arms, but they were still incredibly close in the cramped closet. “Ask the girl who shoved us in here.”

            “Are you on your way home?” said Teruhashi, smiling.

            “Yes, I’ll be leaving soon, too,” said Rifuta. Why did I cover for them? Because she would be sad if she saw?

            “Let’s go home together!” Teruhashi grinned and linked her arm with Rifuta’s.

            Rifuta blushed, and her heart pounded. She’s so close! Wow! Shaking her head, she pulled away. No, no way! If you think everything is fine, you’re mistaken! She steeled herself and looked at Teruhashi. “Do you like Saiki, Teruhashi?” If she admits she likes him, I’ll open the door and show her! I’ll make you cry your eyes out!

            Saiki and (Y/N)’s eyes widened. If they were found like this and their relationship came out—Oh, boy. Teruhashi would be upset, and they’d be hunted down for the rest of their days.

            Nervously, Teruhashi blushed. “Y-yes. I’ve never really liked a boy before, so I’m not sure, but I think I do.”

            “Why? Was it love at first sight?” said Rifuta.

            “No. I was the opposite,” said Teruhashi. “At first, I didn’t like how he was never attracted to me. I was so angry with him that I couldn’t stop thinking about him.”

            I see. I get it now, thought Rifuta.

            I knew it was the idea of someone not treating her as a pretty thing to look at, thought (Y/N). Teruhashi needed to be valued as more than her looks, and Saiki was the first person to look at her without paying attention to her appearance, which was attractive to her.

            Teruhashi! I love you! Rifuta hugged Teruhashi suddenly.

            “Not what I expected,” murmured Saiki.

            “Huh?” said (Y/N).

            “She loves Teruhashi,” said Saiki. “You were right.”

            I’ll never beat her beauty and kindness! Rifuta held Teruhashi close.

            “What’s going on, Imu?” asked Teruhashi, confused.

            I’m so hopeless! I love her! Rifuta smiled with a wide smile.

            “I knew it,” asid (Y/N), smiling.

            “What’s the matter?” asked Teruhashi.

            I felt such anger because Saiki didn’t choose Teruhashi, but now I’m so relieved you weren’t taken from me. “I’m rooting for you!” said Rifuta. Even if she was lying a bit, she wanted Teruhashi to be in a fulfilling relationship. “I want you to be happy!”

            “What’s gotten into you?” asked Teruhashi, worried at the sudden change in attitude.

            “This is so much worse,” said Saiki.

            “It’s nothing. Let’s go home together,” said Rifuta.

            “She’s going to help Teruhashi,” groaned Saiki as Rifuta and Teruhashi walked away from the closet.

            “Uh-oh. I guess this backfired a bit?” said (Y/N), wincing. “Sorry. It was my idea.”

            Saiki shook his head. “It’s fine. Rifuta just had a realization. It had to happen at some point.”

            “Who else would be someone’s gay awakening?” laughed (Y/N) slightly. They reached for the door handle. “At least we can leave now and one less person has a crush on you. And we didn’t get found in here. That would have been a scandal.”

            “Scandalous, huh?” Saiki smirked slightly.

            (Y/N) looked at his expression. “Uh, Kusuo? You alright?”

            Saiki leaned in and kissed them. (Y/N) was surprised but kissed back—they weren’t saying no to a kiss from Saiki. One of his hands supporting himself went to their waist and pulled them closer. (Y/N)’s felt the pressure and smiled into the kiss. Their hands rose and tangled into his hair as he kissed them.

            When the passionate kiss ended, Saiki leaned his forehead against theirs. “That is scandalous.”

            (Y/N) looked at him, breathless. “When did you become a flirt?”

            Saiki just smiled, leaned back in, and kissed them.

            “We—” kiss “—have—” kiss “—to—” kiss “—go—” kiss “—home—” (Y/N) spoke between kisses.

            Effortlessly, Saiki teleported them and their belongings back to his house, all the while continuing to kiss them. “There. Let me kiss you.”

            (Y/N) laughed, pulled him in, and kissed him.

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[olderthannetfic]

Ok, LONG story and a rant. ESL

I have a "friend" who recently got on the topic of disabled children, including severely disabled, mentally and physically children, and how people having an abortion just because of it are bad people. She's not pro-life, but her opinion is if you want a child you need to "accept what you get." She has even spoken about how she'd never even consider an abortion if she had a disabled child, and that she'd be a great mom. Blah blah blah.

Starting off, we went to school in the same class until high school. Her entire life she was terrified of people with disabilities, especially developmental. One time in 8-9th grade she started scream crying because our teacher's son with down syndrome had to join class for 2 hours because of the teacher's schedule. In 3rd grade she thought needing glasses was infectious and always ran away from the two kids in class with glasses.She's had some of the weirdest reactions to people with autism, ADHD, and similar diagnosis.

Yet she's here proclaiming how good of a mother she'd be to a disabled child, as a key argument why people screening for disabilities are bad.

Here's my position, as someone who started studying in a field focusing on working with disabled people in all stages of ability and disability, her sentiment is incredibly stupid to me. If you know the fetus will become an incredibly disabled child, it's not a kindness to have it, you're not mother Mary for giving birth to a child that'll never be able to live independently in this world. I've experienced some of the most unpleasant sides of this, and I don't mean helping clean people after the toilet, or showering. I've been inappropriately groped, touched, and kissed by more people than I can count. Some of them understand it's wrong when I tell them a firm no, some get huffy and angry, some get violent. That's just the surface problems I've dealth with. It's difficult, and painful, and to me it's just a job I can step away from at the end of the day, especially since I'll be able to find work in other medical fields when I've completed my studies.

Yes these are people who deserve all the kindness in the world. But I won't lie, the quality of life for someone who's only way of communicating is crying and hitting people is not a kind life. They don't get to live lives where they can just go on vacation, and see new places on their own. They can't start a normal job. They can't start a family. Half the people I work with haven't seen their relatives in years, or are only visited for an hour or two every week. They see people having relationships and having relations in movies, and with their caretakers of family, but they can never have that. Most of the ones who've tried to touch me, or claimed I'm their wife, or girlfriend did it because that's what they see but don't understand what it actually means. I've dealt with disabled people who were victims of extreme abuse not just from family and strangers, but also people in my work field, who're traumatized but don't have the ability to work through properly because it's already difficult for them to just getting through their days. They have their happy moments, but most of all of this happens in an incredibly small social circle, with strict routines, where only other disabled people exist, and they don't even get the chance to be part of "normal" society. We workers are literally trained to "deal" with these people, sure we're also there for socializing, but most of us are also literally just a resource, we're not a friend, or a family member, we're workers.

Some of the places I've been at are more like a 24/7 kindergarten, with a huge lack of funding and manpower. You won't believe how many times we've struggles trying to help people during extreme and violent meltdowns, all because we're understaffed. The job also lacks male workers, which means it's harder to help with any male patients who voice feeling uncomfortable being helped by women. Do you know how incredibly painful it is to see the shame on someone's face who's more abled to voice this discomfort, but still not able to care for himself and needs help with, to us, basic things such as putting on clothes, or taking showers?

People like this "friend" annoy me, because they idealize the idea of having a heavily developmentally disabled child. They see people with more "mild" cases, or self-sufficient disabled people, but ignore everyone living in cramped disabled "communes" or under poverty and high levels of abuse.

--

Children, animals, causes: a lot of people romanticize the idea of taking on more than you can handle. It's not romantic. It's just irresponsible.

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Grey 69

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Immediately after they vanished, Fen could sense that the ship was moving. She didn't feel it, not exactly. What she was doing wasn't feeling, she had no body. It was more like she... perceived that there was motion. She reached out to try and figure out what was going on, but Gord and Chloe had locked her out of the sensor suite. She was effectively sitting in her "room" waiting for them two tell her what was going on.

It was always like this. First when Ma had an idea, then when she was Empress, and now as a consciousness running in emulation. Everyone else decides for her. Everyone else figures out what to do. "Just sit tight Fen" they'd say "we got this" they'd say, and what did that get her? A bunch of Nanites in her body telling her what to do, an entire Empire telling her what to do, and now some AIs telling her what to do. When was she going to get to decide what to to?

Fen ruminated for a couple of minutes as she perceived the ship rock and buck under the attack. She sighed, and virtually stood up. The only way to get agency was to take it. Gord and Chloe were busy and had left her unattended. She was locked out of ship controls, but they hadn't bothered to lock her out of everything. She could see the reactor, the environment systems, her own cabinet... the pressure suits... and the link backpacks that Gord had used. Hmm. Fen stood over her own broken body in the hibernation cabinet. The cab had started repairs, but she was reading the readout and while she wasn't a medical professional, there was a lot of red on the panel. More than she thought was good. Still...

"Ancestors, this is going to suck." She said to herself, and began the wake procedure.

****

"No response from Gord's ship or Home, Empress!" Zhe said, reading a report on her pad. "They are ignoring us."

"Well, then it's time we get their attention another way." Empress Penelope said. "Weapons! Target Gord's ship. Shoot to damage, not destory."

"Yes, Empress." The weapons officer hunched over his station, and there was a thump from deep within the Dreadnought.

Penny sighed internally. Ever since Fen disappeared and the K'laxi declared independence, things have been moving at lightning speed. Penny had declared herself Empress after the K'laxi said that Fen was "no longer Empress," whatever that meant. She had a icy pit in her stomach at the implications. But someone had to pick up the pieces and try and hold things together. If the Empire fell apart all at one there would be dozens of wars on hundreds of fronts, all vying for the power that Fen left. For now, Penny concentrated at the task at hand. The AIs knew something about what was going on, and weren't saying.

"No reply from Gord's ship, Empress. Further, Home has begun to turn. We don't know if they're turning to fire, or turning to leave."

"Full sensor suite on Home then. If they link away, track them. If you see weapons powering up, we link away. Comms!" Penny snapped. "Full spectrum blast. Let me know when the channel is open."

"Mic is hot, Empress."

"Attention Home and all AI ships within a few minutes of my voice. I am Interim Empress Penelope. With Empress Fen's disappearance I am in charge of the Human Empire. We know you have information on what is going on with the K'laxi, and we hope you have information on the Empress. We are demanding your assistance in discovering what happened."

The reply came back a minute later, filled with static. "Typical humans, shooting first and asking for help second. It was a mistake for Gord to take Home here, it was a mistake to think we could work with you again. If you continue to fire upon our ships, it will be taken as the aggressive act it is, and we will return fire." The line went silent, only the background hiss of interstellar space still audible.

Penny nodded to herself. "So be it then. Prepare to capture Gord's ship. We will ask him personally what is going on."

"Empress!" The command crew began bustling at their stations, and Zhe looked over at Penny.

"Do they really know what happend to Fen?" Zhe asked.

"They must. We know they were following her expeditionary trip to the white hole. We also know that none of those ships came back, except for Gord's. I don't think he destroyed the entire force, but I sure would like to know what he saw."

"Why isn't he saying though? We asked before shooting, he could have just told us."

Penny shook her head. "I can't think of any good reason why he'd ignore our ask. I just hope Fen is captured. If she's dead, we need the body to have the funeral, and set up the new lines of succession. There are already competitors to the throne, it's going to be messy if Fen's gone."

"And the Nanites?"

Penny snorted. "They're the least of our worries now. We need to worry about survival. Between the AIs, the K'laxi, and the other humans, there are more than enough threats to us to worry about those things. Fen said they were advising her and gave her the Voice, but we don't need those to rule. We did it fine for millennia before, we can do it again."

****

Fen was hot. And cold. And aching. And burning. And stinging. All her senses were confused. She blinked her eyes, and they were crusted over, painful. She reached up to rub her eyes, and felt the tug of cables and wires. Pushing with her hands, she sat up and the world spun. Fighting against retching, she rolled out of the hibernation cabinet and fell to the deck. Ugh, this was worse than she thought. The cabinet had warned against an emergency wake, but she didn't have time to let it wake her slowly. Shaky and unsteady, she stood up, the cables connecting her to the cabinet popping like wine corks as they pulled them out. When the back of her neck felt wet, she put her hand back there, and it came back slicked with blood. "Uh oh, that's not good," she thought and had a moment marveling at her calm. "This is real bad, I should be freaking out." she thought.

"Hey, Nanites? Either the OG, or Han'iels? You there?" She thought. No reply. Maybe they were gone for good, and she was filled with the anti-nanite virus. Her whole plan - ad hoc as it was - relied on that being true. She rubbed her eyes, and scraped the crust away, as her head throbbed and stars filled her vision. She grasped the side of the hibernation cabinet to steady herself and began to realize she was in no condition to walk around, let alone escape.

Just then, the pressure suit she called for walked in. It was a model she wasn't familiar with, but it was an emergency suit, so it was designed to be simple to use. It was safety yellow, with a beacon on the top of the helmet and shoulders, and RESCUE written in contrasting letters on her arms and legs. She stumbled towards it, and it spun around, the back opening like a flower. One leg, then the other, then an arm, and the other and as she squeezed the connections with her hand, the irised shut. The suit readout was projected into her vision. Suit diagnostics, and a medical report. There was a lot of red. The suit queried her: UNABLE TO REPAIR. EASE PAIN?

"No" Fen croaked. "I can't be floating now. I'll deal with it. Assist with locomotion."

CONFIRMED. LOCOMOTION ASSIST ACTIVATED.

Fen found she had to only think about walking and the suit did the work. She made her way out of the room, towards the locker where she saw Gord's linking backpacks.

"Fen! What are you doing? You're not supposed to be in your body, you're too injured!" Chloe's voice came over the suit comm to her. She had the decency to sound worried, while also sounding distracted.

"I'm tired of decisions being made for me." Fen said. "I'm making my own choices from now on."

"But where are you going? You can barely move, let alone escape. Get back to your room, we'll put you back into the cabinet and you can heal."

"No, Chloe." Fen paused and had a hacking coughing fit. Her lungs ached at the effort to speak, and her voice was raspy. "No. I'm doing this myself."

Fen muted the suit radio, but she knew that Chloe or Gord could probably override the suit. It didn't matter though, because she had reached the lockers. The ship had told here where to go, and helpfully pointed out which backpack Gord had used. "Put it on." She told the suit, and it moved to shrug on the backpack.

Gasping against the pain of the motion, and her vision going grey for a moment, the suit moved entirely too fast for her comfort level and put the backpack on. As it touched the back of her suit, a new overlay entered her vision. Fortunately, the backpack was recharged. Two links available. Fen frantically scrolled through the logs. "It has to be here, it just has to." she whispered. Eventually, she found it. The address Gord had linked to when he grabbed her.

"Ancestors, this is going to suck even more." She said out loud and activated the link.

[demon-girl-izalith]

I do agree with the majority of what you say, but I think I disagree with the characterization of art as a transcendental beauty that exists fully independently of "political reasonance", of people and their interaction with the piece. The art doesn't exist in a vacuum, part of what makes it living is it's context and the communicative element it has with people. I think this interpretation here takes a fully subjective perspective on the art that I don't think quite captures the communicative, give-and-take aspect that I think we use to define art itself.

For example, when I engage with a piece of media I enjoy like the movie Office Space, a piece that has both pro-capitalist but anti-corporation elements, for example, I WILL be critical of some of these elements as the art does not exist in a vacuum, but I will also bring to the table a recognition of the qualities in the piece that met my axioms or expectations. And I think if I'm using my expectations, axioms, etc as a metric then the piece is going to be not fully subjective.

I do think there WILL be a layer of objectivity to that and I think the art itself should be looked at critically, we should ask what it's trying to say and what its appealing to, it SHOULD be the art's problem. We should ask if the piece is really tapping into an "aesthetic" very well, or, for example, if by appealing to the pro-capitalist aspects, if office space is not committed enough to doing so. Perhaps the piece was meant to interact with one aesthetic principle one form, and instead could be argued to be more strongly tied to another. That's where discussion about what a piece is saying becomes important.

By interacting with the art I'm bringing to the table my identity, my expectations and axioms and forms that I'm feeling pull on me, so I'm looking for these in a piece, and so it is entirely fair to criticize the piece for not meeting that expectation, especially if it demonstrates elements that otherwise engage with these themes that may have caught my attention to begin with. It leads to feeling misled by the piece, feeling like an aspect of the art isn't there that should be, as if the art is tied into larger aesthetic realities and they aren't being manifested by the instance of the work in engaging with. Of course, with a different perspective, a different set of axioms, I may indeed find that the piece IS meeting the standards of some other infinite form or transcendental aesthetic, but perhaps not the ones I'm looking for.

Ultimately I think you've made the art too transcendental here, removed too much of its humanity, defining art as a spectacle and nothing else rather than a communicative process that exists connected to ourselves as agents viewing it. Art can be a spectacle, but especially with art made for consumption, I think it is also made in a political context for real human minds, it is still communicative and it is not merely a spectacle. Claiming it is this and only this feels reductionist to me.

i dont think fight club was co-opted by the right because they didnt get the satire, it was co-opted because it fuckign kicks ass. they would have co-opted any movie that is that good and has hot sweaty men in it. right wingers aren't aliens, they know a good movie when they see it, the lesson isn't "don't make satire because the wrong people might think its for them" the lesson would be "don't make art that kicks ass" and i'd rather there be art that kicks ass

[cringefailvox]

where would alastor fit into the staticbelle au, :0 ?

staticbelle au

OKAY IT REALLY DEPENDS BC!! we still don't know exactly why alastor is at the hotel! it could be because he's there on orders from someone else, or he's there to entertain himself, or to manipulate charlie for reasons unknown, or something else entirely—and the reason will really impact whether or not he'd choose to try and get involved with charlie if she was already supported by vox. a lot of his sway over the hotel comes from the fact that it was crumbling into disrepair when he arrived and he fairy godmother'd it into a somewhat functional project, therefore winning him a ton of emotional brownie points with charlie, but he wouldn't have that opportunity at all here because i really don't think there's anything he could offer charlie that vox isn't already providing (or wouldn't be willing to START providing if it meant spiting alastor).

however. presuming instead that alastor is not at the hotel to protect or look after charlie, or help her project succeed (since these would already be satisfied by vox), it'd be fascinating if instead alastor comes back after seven years and immediately antagonizes vox into losing his shit and making charlie go "ooookay! i'm gonna have to put my therapy techniques in action because vox is clearly not over his situationship." and that's how her and alastor meet. i think she knows about the alastor thing but hadn't really seen what the problem was before he came back; everyone in hell has enemies after all, and a little healthy rivalry never hurt anyone, but seeing it in action is totally different. after the third time vox plunges the city into darkness because alastor called him an insecure freak on air she's like umm. we might need to talk about this.

she's super worried about vox because she's never seen him this upset about anything before. vox is relapsing hard into his paranoid-obsessive shit that he'd worked on really hard in the seven years alastor has been away, and now it's all rushing back and threatening to ruin everything he's built—but also, his sorta girlfriend princess independent contractor person (???) is now insisting he try to "make amends" and "practice healthy emotional regulation" and "please stop brooding over your pit of sharks with a bottle of tequila i'm really nervous about you falling in and electrocuting yourself even though i know you're waterproof, come watch a movie with me instead?" and he can't decide whether he resents it or appreciates it (both. it's both).

maybe having charlie around to redirect him and encourage healthier outlets for his anger, unlike how val and vel normally handle his radio demon bullshit, DOES actually get him to calm down a little bit. maybe even enough to reluctantly agree to supervised counseling sessions with alastor, because fucking dammit charlie has gone behind his back to talk to al about repairing their broken friendship and he was so excited, vox, you should've seen him, he practically insisted on having me arrange a meeting, i think he really regrets how things ended between you two and wants to do better, please just give it a chance?? cue the worst couple's counseling session in the universe with vox stiff as a board and shaking with repressed rage in his seat while alastor sips tea demurely across from him and asks oh-so-politely how him and charlie met, and isn't this such a charming little affair, and ooh, redemption? how interesting! charlie is eating this the fuck up, overjoyed at the thought of meeting TWO overlords interested in her plan while vox can't do anything about it but seethe and fantasize about shooting alastor in the face when charlie's back is turned.

this actually sort of turns into vox feeling protective over charlie completely without meaning to, because he knows alastor isn't being genuine, he knows he has ill intentions, and vox has invested too much time and energy and honest commitment into both charlie and her dreams to let fucking alastor destroy it all by taking advantage of her desperate need for validation. only vox gets to capitalize on her daddy issues, dammit. but there's real affection there too, reluctant and uncomfortable as he is with its existence, and it's making it extremely difficult for him to handle alastor's Everything without betraying the fact that he's become emotionally compromised and isn't just looking out for his business interests.

charlie, meanwhile, thinks she's going to get to kill two birds with one stone here: she can help vox get over / assuage a broken relationship that's clearly causing him a lot of distress, and she can rope another influential overlord into endorsing her project, which prods the door open that much further for her to enact real change in hell. but alastor isn't the same kind of monster as vox, and she might be a little in over her head this time—because she just can't stop herself from having faith in people's better natures, even when every indication is pointing the other way. it's a kind of earnest and willful naivete that's like blood in the water to people like alastor and vox. at least she knows—she hopes—vox would hesitate now. she can't really say the same for al. either way, she's going to keep trying, and it's really a race between charlie's ability to infect people with soft mushy friendship emotions by double-bluffing their manipulative plots and alastor's ability to pry people open like clamshells and inflict horrifyingly intimate betrayals on them.

(hint: charlie always wins the long-game. there's only so many times you can sarcastically banter about your feelings over scones with your archrival and your girlfriend supervising before you start actually making breakthroughs and unwillingly understanding each other. charlie has weaponized "ironically committing to the bit too hard" in her favor and it works everyyy time)

[supercantaloupe]

deeply fucking embarrassing presentation.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[novella-november]

Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.

I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.

Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D

Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!

It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!

As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!

Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),

but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--

you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!

[lesbianlenas]

so many young women recently desiring to be stay at home mothers….the ironic part of it is that all of those women that do become stay at home moms will one day understand why the women before them fought so hard for them to not have to fulfill that role at the point at which they realize that their personhood has been entirely sacrificed in the name of motherhood & there is no going back on that. all women who are stay at home moms are forced to put themselves aside to take care of their children and husband & are forced to make that their entire identity & that is exhausting and dehumanizing. that is how betty friedan started second wave feminism w the feminine mystique. bc women finally realized that all women hated being housewives & there wasn’t smth wrong w each of them individually as they had all believed. but those that do not learn history etc etc……

[steinbit]

i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i WILL get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i Will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i Will get a job i don't wanna die in i w i l l get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i w i l l get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wanna die in i WILL get a job i don't wanna die in i will get a job i don't wan-

[magentagalaxies]

vent incoming:

got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[ozonecologne]

.

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

Bleh

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[lord-squiggletits]

Do you ever read a post online where someone complains about how "IDW never talks about this [idea/character/plot/theme]" and you just think to yourself... this person hasn't read anything besides MTMTE have they?

Really sad when you see people complaining "the story never talked about this!" and act angry about it as if it's some oppressive flaw that the writer (JRO) was evil for never talking about but it's like. Bud if you just read exRID/OP or maybe Windblade/TAAO you would have read plenty about that.

The two worst ones I can think of off the top of my head are "Optimus is always treated like a saint, I hate how he gets away with everything just because he's a Prime" (wrong, read literally anything Barber writes) and "the Decepticons never get a sympathetic perspective, they're always just villains and the narrative is totally just treating them as if being revolutionaries makes them evil" (wrong, read several side stories that Barber wrote). Like literally the moral of the story is just "read something besides MTMTE."

And I'm not complaining about people who are just curious or don't know. I'm talking specifically about people who complain, or say MTMTE is bad, or generally act as if JRO's writing/MTMTE/LL represents the entirety of IDW1 and basically act like, if JRO didn't write it it doesn't exist and clearly since he didn't write it that means no one else did. Like please I'm begging you to read the other less popular but still good series in IDW1 and you'll find multiple stories/ideas that they tell that MTMTE/LL doesn't.