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#and it's all fishie's fault
butterflieswhisper · 3 months
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okay so what i've gathered is beastlife season three finale + semifinale is going to be absolutely miserable for me and i should clear my schedule to deal with the emotional impact. fantastic. swagever
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lorephobic · 7 months
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Have you seen these pictures? I was literally cackling when I saw it. Like barry, your girlfriend is right there lmao. They're both so bad at pretending
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yes god these pictures are made even more insane by the fact that that woman is SABRINA’S MANAGER 😭😭😭😭 like she probably set up their whole prelationship and somehow she’s the one walking out of the oscars party with barry draped over her.
idk what to make of any of this tbh. everything points toward sabrina being the one limiting pda and pretending they’re not dating even though everyone on the planet knows that they are? it’s especially frustrating that she’s doing all of this and is still comfortable joking about going home with/stalking cillian murphy??? which leaves barry in this awkward position where he has to leave this sopping wet ass comment reminding her that they’re supposed to be something. 😭😭😭
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I DON’T KNOOOW. i don’t know whose fault it is, i don’t know who to be mad at, i just think that both of them are pretty miserable atp and somethings gotta give.
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festive · 2 years
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I WILL FIGHT U
I am literally just vibing..
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fazcinatingblog · 2 months
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Went to the toilet for the first time today at 2pm (Colleening), got out and Sophia had called so I rang her back and she's like "have you got any invoices out??? What have you done all day????"
#well Sophia first i arrived early and decided to get an up & go#then i walked to the petbarn and watched the little fishies swimming around#oh my god Tumblr the FISH some of them were shaking their tails around and one looked at me and shook its head as if to say don't go to work#they were so cute#i want one#got in at ten to 9 and Sophia rang and she's like 'where were you???' because I'm usually much earlier like wtf Sophia#Just did filing all day and God knows what else and i don't even know and#she rang me after 5pm & I'd left but I'd just sent her an invoice $200 less than it should've been so i expected her to yell at me#but no she was yelling about what's his face#what's his face who knew i had a cold and cut up oranges for me to eat#what's his face who puts on a Taylor playlist in the car and gets me to guess the song#'what's this one?' me: you belong with me; him: what was that????#what's his face who holds my hand and kisses my cheek and NO TUMBLR SHUT UP I'M NOT FALLING FOR HIM JESUS CHRIST#Sophia yelling on the phone to me to not send out any tax returns done by him unless they've been checked by her first#because apparently he made a lot of mistakes in the job he sent for review last week and Sophia was really mad and then#she texted me later to say sorry she yelled at me and that she was in a bad mood and it wasn't my fault and awww 🥰🥰🥰🥰#she was in a bad mood all day and when i told her that a $4000 cheque came in she's like 'that makes me feel better'#so money does equal happiness#oh Tumblr the Woolworths guy brought his daughter in today omg she's so cute
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greentrickster · 6 months
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Okay, so, been reading some good scumplane (OG!Shen Qingqiu/Airplane) lately, because in this house we support Airplane being loved by terrifying/terrifyingly hot men, but also, like... I do love Moshang just so so much as a ship.
And all this has awoken a mighty need in me.
A need for a Moshangjiu fic with scumplane getting established first and then bringing our favorite popsicle in on things.
Anyway, scenario! Shen Qingqiu starts noticing Shang Qinghua when they're disciples via the classic scenario of being smart enough to realize something is fishy about SQH being the only survivor of a demon attack, begins paying attention to his most anxious shidi, accidentally shows his most anxious shidi the simplest of Human Kindness, accidentally becomes shidi's favorite shixiong, accidentally becomes friends with shidi, accidentally catches feelings. Continues being a Sneaky Bastard in order to figure out what shidi is up to (and now also to confirm shidi is single).
Ah, shidi is entangled with an Ice Demon. This shixiong will make use of his scholarly peak's library to learn all and then decide to- wait. Wait, it's super violent by human standards, but is it- is this demon attempting to... court shidi?
...
Not if SQQ dates him first he's not!!!
There follows a whirlwind romance between SQQ and SQH where no one really knows what's going on, especially the two involved, it involves a lot of shit talking about everyone else in their lives, snacks, and accidental trauma bonding.
Also Airplane being Airplane and accidentally spilling that not only is he also kinda crushing (bad) on Mobei-jun, but also Mobei-jun's entire backstory and please, shixiong, I know it all looks bad but this shidi's house is literally the only place in the world it's completely safe for his king to sleep, everyone deserves to sleep without having to worry about their relatives murdering them for things that aren't their fault from time to time, right, shixiong???
Shen Qingqiu: ...goddammit, the demon's a fellow sad little meow meow. (only not in these exact words because he doesn't know these phrases, naturally)
In a wild, bold, and - dare I say it - shockingly sexy convolution of thought processes and ideas, SQQ manages to finagle SQH into letting him meet with MBJ (SQH nearly has a heart attack three times in the process but it's fine, it's cool, this is his life, this may as well happen, it's fine-).
SQQ: It has come to my attention that my shidi is spying for you on our sect.
MBJ: (glowering at SQH, who is cowering behind shixiong wondering how he got talked into all this)
SQQ: However it also appears that this is merely a cover story and the only thing you really do is use his room to nap. And also that you are quite fond of him.
SQH: (This is it, this is how I die. Again.)
MBJ: (...if I stare straight ahead and don't change my expression, no one will be able to tell that he's right)
SQQ: So anyway I think you should join Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.
MBJ: (gears grinding)
SQH: (squawking splutters of protest and confusion)
SQQ: (who speaks panicking!SQH at this point) Stop that, it's perfectly reasonable. He has the head disciple of our logistics peak under his thumb, it would be the simplest thing in the world for him to have you throw the sect into absolute chaos without even trying, then organize an attack, swoop in, and crush us all. He could have done it years ago, but he never has, he never even seems to initiate anything. I don't think he even cares about taking the Northern Throne, I think he's just incompetent about wanting to spend time with you. So he might as well just lie low until our shizuns ascend and then I'll take him on as a disciple on Qing Jing and you two can stop sneaking around like idiots.
MBJ: >8O
SQQ: Are you actually opposed?
MBJ: (folds arms and looks away sulkily, because like... it's true but you don't have to say it like that)
SQH: 8O ...reverse uno...
SQQ: What?
SQH: You're reverse unoing my blorbo!
SQQ: Quit making up word-
SQQ cannot continue because the System just presented the option to accept this potential new plot line (even if it does have the rather confusing title of 'Shidi Has Two Hands'), and holy shit, Mobei-jun seems to be potentially down for it, holy shit, apparently Mobei-jun actually likes me, holy shit, SQQ may have just solved all my problems-?!? This is great, this is fantastic, this is the best day of my life, this- is a long time I'm being allowed to be myself about all this, why is Shen shixiong not interrupting...?
Ah.
It is because I am kissing him full on the lips.
Cool cool cool.
At least I'm gonna die on a high note.
SQQ: O///O o_o (ahem) Shidi's- shidi's a really bad kisser.
SQH: Ah-haha, I can explain-
SQQ: We should work on that. Later.
SQH: (BEST DAY OF BOTH MY LIVES!!!)
MBJ: (I... did not actually hate watching that. Hm.)
Anyway, he agrees to the plan, SQQ and SQH start dating, some more time passes, the previous generation of peak lords ascend, the new generation take their places, and a week later Mobei-jun is an outer disciple of Qing Jing Peak.
The other peak lords are not amused, Qingqiu that is a demon, no.
SQQ: So what I'm hearing is that whole 'Cang Qiong will accept anyone from anywhere' philosophy was a lie then?
He's a demon!
SQQ: Children can't help where they're born. Now if you'll excuse me, I have classes to teach.
First lesson of the day is SQH and SQQ are a package deal, take it or leave it. Second lesson is no canoodling with Shang Shibo until you've finished with lessons and chores for the day. Third lesson is if you see any Bai Zhan disciples hassling our peak's disciples you can break their swords. Just snap 'em in half. Throw them off the peak. Don't kill them, but do make them cry.
SQH, meanwhile, has now seen MBJ in an outer disciple uniform and had a whole bunch of new awakenings on top of all the other things he already knew about himself.
And, in a twist of dramatic irony... Qing Jing's first disciple to ever have demonic heritage decides the dorms are a no-go after one night because, to him, they are broiling hot, how can anyone sleep in this heat, and chooses to go sleep in the wood shed instead.
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ronearoundblindly · 4 months
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omg not me freaking out that i am part of the group that gets bait gifs! FRIENDS!!!!!!! i'm fine. i'm chill. don't leave me!
This took me a minute to figure out what I wanted Sir Dorksalot to have done that was sketchy enough to have him make this face...
Watch The Fish, Jake Jensen x reader headcanon wholeass fic in bullet format because my god this got long
Warnings for mentions of masturbation and porn, accidental then totally intentional voyeurism, awkward and oblivious!Jake--so just Jake, yeah?--and smutty implications...
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🥹 roommates to lovers 😊
you rent a pretty large house maybe even with one or two others at first, but they move out
jake has to use it as a crashpad sometimes because he'll be away for so long at a time, but he pays rent and the entire electrical & internet bill no matter what
you keep a fish tank in the living room
after jake comes back from months in hiding abroad away, he gets so excited to be home and spend time with his niece that he hosts an after-game pizza party for her soccer team
someone practices headbutting the ball inside and nearly topples the tank
jake catches the whole thing with his broad arm-span and a decent amount of strength just in time when it wobbles the whole table beneath it. his heart nearly stopped, and he's so grateful the glass didn't break. thank god you weren't home.
however, you insist on moving the fish to your room instead once he tells you.
jake's a little sad to see them go. he pouts so much you decide to take pity on him, buying a web cam to mount beside the tank so jake can watch them whenever he wants. he loves to do voices for each one, personalities, soap-opera-like dramatic storylines, the works
as an aside you ask him if the sound can be turned off on the camera. jake says yeah but he mostly means he can turn it to mute on his computer.
which he does, for the record, but he has to remember to do it each time he pulls up the feed of da fishies. honestly, half the time he's wearing headphones and the other half you aren't home while he puts the Marauders (because there's just one fat one) onto his third monitor for background.
so he forgets that the sound is on and a thing he might need to avoid
weeks later, maybe months, jake finally removes his headphones after a very long stint of coding, completely unaware of what time it is and that you are home in your room
at first, jake is dead convinced that some porn ad has popped up in a window behind his work, something he would go apeshit about and ransomware bomb the shit out of whoever wrote such slippery spam
the fish are peaceful as ever, blooping away whilst jake frantically closes program after program trying to find the hot chick moaning on his desktop...until it's all closed and the buzzing remains though his tower's fan stopped...then the squelching noise starts
jake is frozen in place, looking away from the fish like they're the damn problem, but he doesn't cut the feed
he...he shouldn't
he should turn it off or just mute it like he promised
and he tries
he tries really hard, gang
it's the cursor's fault that it hits the command to send the audio to his bluetooth headphones instead of mute
and he sets the headphones down on the keyboard, gnawing on his bottom lip and watching his closed bedroom door in anticipation of...getting caught, maybe? he's not sure
he watches the fish putter around like it's no big deal
which it isn't, right?
you're human. he's human. humans have urges. they touch themselves--they touch each other, too--and there's no harm in that. if anything...jake encourages it, or he would...if you knew that he knew about this
the noises are so faint from the itty bitty speakers two feet from his face, but he doesn't pick them up, still debating what to do
because there's a big difference between what jake should do in this situation and what he wants to do
he mutes audio and then cuts off the livestream
at least, that's what he did the first time it happened
he knows he's a perv. jake can't help it.
it becomes a game of sorts. it's like practice recon for learning a target's routine. not that jake needs practice at the job he already fucking has but that's how his brain justifies laying on his own bed in the glow of the fish tank feed with his headphones turned way up
he knows your bed is on the other side of your room from when he moved the fish tank in
he knows what your underwear look like from the laundry room downstairs
he knows what you smell like from the shared bathroom and the products lining your shelf
he now knows there's a bottle of toy cleaner in one of your sink drawers
and he shouldn't but he absolutely touches himself listening to you, fists himself when you're fucking a toy he imagines six-shapes-to-Sunday, teases himself when all you're doing is breathing softly from across the whole house and he's cold and covered in cum by the end
to be fair, jake hates himself because of all this, but he is now mildly addicted
he doesn't even exit out of the livestream anymore. it just stays up on his monitor like a screensaver, but he doesn't realize that once he takes his headphones out of range, the audio transfers to his speakers again
so jake goes on a mission for a few days, and at some point while you are cleaning up your room, playing music, you find two pairs of jake's socks in your load of clean laundry and go to toss them in his room...where the same music you're listening to way down the hall is playing...in sync...
you're horrified and then embarrassed and then quickly realized it might mean nothing
you have to test if it means something
jake returns from his mission on complete autopilot
just so damn tired
throws down his duffle on top of some socks he doesn't remember leaving out and just hits the shower for a long, long time
he hasn't talked to you yet
he hasn't even seen you except your car is home and your door is shut
he goes about his business
the volume on his speakers isn't high but he hears you speaking and assumes you're on the phone
he pays it no mind. he is glad to be home, glad you're fine since he's just been in a part of the world where most people are not safe.
in a weird sort of way, he feels he's earned the mundane sort of comfort that comes from "the same ol'" of this house
he's wiped out, so he crawls into bed with his headphones immediately, hair barely toweled dry, not bothering with boxers because...why make more laundry?
and then the worst thing happens
there's a man's voice coming through his headphones, and jake scowls in frustration and rage
did you go and get a fucking boyfriend? in a couple of days? or goddamnit is this some tinder shit in his home right now?
but it only gets worse
he can hardly contain himself, what with the gagging sounds and this dude telling you to take it like the whore you are, and JAKE WILL LITERALLY BURN THIS PLACE DOWN
now his ass is putting on clothes
now his ass is ready to riot
the sex gets more and more degrading; spanking noises and even choking, but not in a seemingly consensual way, which is when jake rips his headphones off, storms down the hall and barrels straight through your bedroom door
where...you...aren't
no one is. no you. no man.
just your laptop sitting on your desk near the fish tank, playing the money shot of a porn video he was just listening to
get the fuck out. get out. get out. his brain screams, and he bolts
he makes it three feet before stopping short
you're standing at the top of the stairs, a bowl of ice cream in hand, licking the spoon unbelievably slowly with your whole tongue
you're fucked. you're fucked. you're fucked. his brain adds helpfully.
"hey, jakey," you say with a smile. "whatcha doing?"
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A/N: this cat is officially my reaction to pretty much everything because...well...it's very accurate.
[Main Masterlist; Jake Jensen Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
THERE'S A SEQUEL!
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gojosatoruwifey · 7 months
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ㅡglub glub glub glub glub
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✑ happy happy happy birthday to our red fishie ♡(◕ᗜ◕✿) as usual, this fic is written the day before my finals exam (・ω ・✿)
✿ warning/s: fluff, short, blushy! rafayel is the best rafayel, simps, let me know if i missed something!
✿ character/s: rafayel, fem! reader
📜🖋️🎀SUPPORT MY KO-FI🎀🖋️📜
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it’s his birthday so you follow what he does that makes your heart skip a beat
rafayel is in for a surprise.
he already suspected that you’re doing something fishy behind his back, especially the date in the calendar that tells him that his birthday is around the corner. a good boyfriend that he is, he will just let you do your thing.
rafayel didn’t, in fact, see this coming. 
the smooch landing on his cheek was so swift that if he didn’t know you’re standing before him, waist bent down as you put your weight to your one arm and the other retrieving a small pillow beside him — he is thinking to check himself into the mental ward, complain to the doctor there that he is having a hallucination of you kissing him randomly and so suddenly at that as he lazily sprawled to the couch, phone in hand.
you, with all your might, maintained a composed face as if you didn’t just copy one of your boyfriend’s cute antics that he is unaware makes your thoughts haywire. rafayel’s gradient stellar eyes stare wide at you, perplexing surprise swirling behind those beautiful pools as he looks up at you from the couch.
a successful cheer erupted inside your mind. satisfied with his reaction, calling forth every cell in your brain to commit his face to memory. rafayel’s reddening cheeks all the way to his ears, doe eyes round and shiny. 
turning on your back with the pillow hugged by your arms, you act like you don’t mind him and continue on your way.
success!
to be honest, when rafayel gets whiny, begging for attention or dragging you to a spontaneous date, it awakens a dormant beast within you.
so, when it’s your turn to act cutesy around him, you’re looking forward to it.
internally, rafayel is losing his mind. whose fault is it? you, who else. what in the world have you been up to? your recent actions have become unpredictable and difficult for him to anticipate.
you're doing it again! he bit his lower lips he’s afraid blood would soon appear as you had a python grip on his arm, pouty and sulky dripping on your voice, “i want that one, win me artsy birb plushie! please? rafayel?”
“i…” where did his usual nonchalant of a bodyguard go.
he felt you get closer, “i will! i will!” rafayel maneuver the claw, his arm still pressed to your body, clinging to him. oblivious to the grin curled on your lips. the heat on his cheeks and ears hasn’t gone away, staying there much to his chagrin.  if he were to glance at the couple in the reflection of the claw machine plush’s glass, he might have not missed it.
another success!
now, onto the last one. you are not so sure how to proceed with this one. it’s not that you’re not confident to pull this move to him but rather, how to make the timing right. should it be on the day? to have better lighting? what of the place? should you hold this in the destiny cafe or at his home or yours? a date is a go-to since you can create a more romantic atmosphere so a date it is, then. you nodded to yourself.
on the other hand, rafayel’s heart will explode the more he lets you hold the reign. it's bad for his health. what will happen to linkon were their precious artist gets sick? he will blame you, really.
if you pull another one…
shit, he curses. it's late morning, brunch, unoccupied second floor with just the two of you, the muffled tappings of laptop keys below, the occasional bell ring when a customer enters and the staff greeting them, the beeping indicator of the hot water in the kitchen, the sound of beans hitting the bottom of the container, the rush of coffee cascaded in a cup.
and the warm sunlight pouring into the table where you two are sitting.
a finger lightly brushed the strands of his hair near his eyes. rafayel watches mutely. the words he has been practicing and the dramatic actions he thought last night are gone in an instant. you move away from the strays as you make eye contact with him, muttering, “there. i can see you better. don’t look down like that or you will hurt your neck.”
red bursts completely all over his face. steam coming out of his head.
“what’s the matter with you? you look like reddie.”
k.o!
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onboardsorasora · 5 days
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My dash is very sad right now and I get it, it feels like the end. But please understand and appreciate that I do not share the sentiments that this is 'it'.
This is allllll too very fishy and weird and the more I think about it, the more i step away from the emotion of it all. The more I'm sticking to my guns that this isn't over.
This is entirely the media's fault.
They kept badgering him while he was mentally and physically exhausted. If he kept hearing it over and over- we can't blame him for starting to believe it.
Anyhoo. I hope he has a lovely break at home, fills his cup and lets his team deal with holding RBR/VCARB responsible for this shit storm. And when he comes to work in COTA I hope he's tanned and happy and doing the most.
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luna0713hunter · 7 months
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Hellooo~
I just found your blog rn and I immediately fell in love with your works(especially sukuna ffs).
I love the way you write sukuna and reader's relationship.
And if ur ok with it, may I request a sukuna x reader angst? Maybe where reader is a sorcerer and she got badly injured and got into a almost death situation during a fight and sukuna is smh guilty for it??
You can ignore this if u want to<3
-🍪
Author's note : Hi hi ( ꈍᴗꈍ)oh my gosh im so happy to hear that!!!thank you so much darling!it makes me super happy
Mhm,i love the smell of fresh angst with happy ending in the midnight lmao. I'll gladly write it!! Hope you enjoy this,Cookie-chan!
Warnings : Sukuna Sorcerer au!,angst,injury and blood,happy ending!
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
You knew this would happen,and you were happy to rub it in your idiot boyfriend's face with a big "i told you so."
That is,if you make it out alive.
The curse before you lets out a loud noise, something akin to cackle,as it watches you with it's multiple eyes. You glare,but even you know it's lost all heat;with blood oozing out of each part of your body,you can barely even keep your eyes open. Your body feels weak,and all of your joints hurt like hell. Your eyes drift to where you broken phone is laying and you just hope that your help signal has gone through before it was damage for good.
"ah," you mumble as you spit a mouthful of blood on the ground below; watching as it drips down on your hands, "today sucks. Its all Ryo's fault."
Your hazy eyes turn up and you watch as the curse dances around;each one of it's disgusting eye spinning around wildly as it looks at you with glee.
The son of a bitch is having fun killing you.
"you're lucky, y'know," you giggle slightly from how slurred your words sound; the blood lose making you lightheaded, "If Ryo was here,he would've torn you to pieces. But, he's an idiot."
Because he really was; starting that morning with the message from the higher ups about your new mission, you had told Sukuna that it would end badly. You had told him more than twice that something smelled fishy;that the higher ups were out to get you. But Sukuna,had dismissed your worry,and with a small scoff had said you're paranoid. At least,now with you dead,he would be proven wrong.
You grin maniacally at the thought;serves him right.
Leaning your back against the tree,you watch with bleary eyes as the curse steps closer;you dont even care. You're too tired to fight back. So you just sit there, thinking about all the things you'll miss;your friends and family,that one bakery with those delicious coconut buns,your boyfriend Sukuna,and most of all-
"i never got the chance to hear him say i love you..."
Maybe out of everything, you'll regret not dating your boyfriend sooner.
You're so lost in your thoughts,that you dont notice the sound of the curse has been faded away. And when you hear a small shriek,and hurried footsteps running your way,you just close your eyes and drop your head. You're fully expecting the curse to rip out your heart,when gentle,but frantic hands,take hold of your bloody cheeks and raise your head slightly. With a pained groan,you open your eyes just enough to see a heap of pink,and a familiar pair of red eyes.
"Ryo...?"
"yeah,yeah babe. Its me," his voice is steady,like always,but you can hear a small undertone of worry and it brings a smile to your lips.
"told ya..."
The hands on your cheeks rub at the corner of your lips to wipe away the blood.
"yeah,i know. And I'm an ass for not believing you." You feel yourself shift,and with foggy mind, realize he has lifted you up in his arms, "I'll make it up to you. Promise."
You giggle and rub your head against his chest;his scent already soothing your mind.
"can i have those sweet buns then?with hot chocolate?"
"whatever you want. First, let's get you fixed up yeah?"
You mumble your agreement and close your eyes. And when you wake up the next time,its to a tray full of your favorite sweet buns and a warm mug of hot chocolate.
Your boyfriend embraces you tightly,and kisses your forehead.
"i love you."
And maybe getting almost killed,was worth it after all.
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
P.S : I love coconut buns and im currently craving some so i had to add them lmao.
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ronwestbreeze · 2 years
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Hi! I noticed you’re request are now open. I was wondering if you can write more for shallow waters? Maybe how things have been since tua has been born? If not I’d totally understand! And if so thank you in advance! :)
family of thieves
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pairing: jake sully x fem!na'vi!reader
warnings: family stuff! cuteness hehe
summary: in which the older sully kids like stealing tua from right under your nose
word count: 1.4k
author's note: this is a short and sweet little one shot and yes it is set in the shallow universe lol. i just thought i'd give y'all something sweet after that last one hehe...takes place after shallow waters
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Okay, you will admit it. You made a pretty adorable baby. The cutest little thing in the world and you loved her with all of your heart.
And so did the rest of the Sullys.
The first few months Tua was always at your side or with Jake. Oftentimes you felt Jake was always hogging the girl but he teased you and said he was just her favorite. He was totally wrong but that was beside the point.
Once Tua became a toddler, that’s when a lot of odd occurrences began to happen.
The first time it happened you were in absolute panic. You had come back to the family tent to find it empty. You guessed that everyone was out in the waters as usual. But it wasn’t supposed to be empty.
“Tua?” You called, heart dropping in your chest when you saw that the toddler you had left for only a few seconds wasn’t there anymore. “Tua!”
Dropping everything, you rushed around the village, heart practically ready to tear itself out of your chest. When you got to the beach, you spotted Jake and Neytiri riding on his ilu further out in the waters.
“Jake! Neytiri!” You called from the beach, eyes still searching your surroundings in a panic. The two hadn’t heard you, irritatingly you shouted louder, this time in Na’vi. “AAAH! I AM CALLING TO YOU, JAKE AND NEYTIRI!”
Neytiri turned her head first, brows furrowing together when she saw your anxious state, “Y/N? What is wrong?” She called back. That was when Jake looked over as well, frowning when he saw your worried face.
“Do you know where Tua is?” You called.
Before either of them could reply, Tsireya, who had been floating in the water nearby, suddenly perked up, “Oh! I just saw Neteyam with her! They should be that way.”
You gave her a quick thanks before rushing off in that direction with Jake and Neytiri still calling after you.
Further down the beach and near a bunch of rocks, you spotted Neteyam first. He was sitting on one of the taller rocks, talking to himself it seemed and pointing out toward the ocean. But when you got closer, Tua, your unbothered daughter, was sitting between his legs and giggling as if she were having the time of her life.
Neteyam spotted you as you got closer, He grinned and waved, “Sa’nok! I was just showing Tua the little fishies! Plus, I think she really wants to meet a Tulkun now after I told her a mighty stories about them.”
You placed your hand on your heart, feeling uttered relief and slight exasperation. “Neteyam, boy, you almost gave me—what is it your father says?—a heart attack! I thought I lost Tua!”
The boy looked confused for a few seconds before he realized what you had meant and started grinning sheepishly, “Oh right, sorry.  It was Tua’s fault anyway! She was looking at me with those big eyes! I couldn’t say no to that!”
Despite your previous freak out, you couldn’t find yourself staying mad at Neteyam. After all, he was practically your first baby too, even though you didn’t give birth to him yourself. Plus, Tua looked to be having a grand time with her older brother. The sight itself calms you down and allows you to smile gently.
Carefully you climbed up onto the rock with them. Tua reached for you and you took her in your arms, “Next time tell me you’re taking her for the day.” You poked his head, “I might as well have raged throughout the village to find her.”
Neteyam chuckled sheepishly, “Sorry, Sa’nok. I won’t scare you like that again. Promise.”
You smiled as Tua tugged gently at your hair before giving him a quick kiss on his forehead. Just as you slid off the rock, both Jake and Neytiri arrived on the ilu, both looking confused and worried.
“What happened? Why were you freaking out?” Jake was the first to ask, his eyes scanning you and Tua for any harm.
“Your son stole Tua while I wasn’t looking.” You sighed. “All is fine, crisis averted.”
Jake visibly calmed down while Neytiri tsked at her son, “Neteyam.”
“Sorry, mother.” The boy raised his hands.
You thought that that would be the one and only time that would happen. But for some odd reason, it kept happening.
The second time, you had turned away for a few seconds to fix her food. Before then she had been sitting and playing with her tail. But when you turned back to feed her, she was gone. This time you didn’t freak out, you were just confused. She had been right there, how could she have crawled away that fast?
Neytiri was in the tent with you, cooking some of the fish they got for their meal for the night.
“Tiri’.”
“Mmm?”
“Where’s Tua?”
Neytiri looked up from what she was doing, looking around as well. “Was she not just here?”
“Yes, she was!” You got up and left the tent, Neytiri not too far behind you. “Tua! Tua!” You tried not to be too loud as the night was settling in and you knew most of the villagers were going to bed soon. “Tua! Tua! Tua—Kiri?”
You had stumbled upon the teenage girl, not too far away from your tent, to find her in the water, holding Tua with her, surrounded by glowing fish.
Tua’s big eyes were fixated on the fishes as she tried reaching for them in Kiri’s grasp. Your shoulders sagged and relief flooded your chest.
Kiri looked up and smiled, “Hi, Y/N!”
Neytiri appeared next to you and chuckled when she saw Tua, “Kiri, dinner is almost ready. It’s time to get out of the water.”
“Aw, Mom, we were just about to have a little fun.” The girl grinned.
“Yes, and Tua was about to eat her own dinner just now.” You pointed out before grabbing Tua from Kiri as the latter hoisted herself out of the water. “I swear you children just want me to have a heart attack.”
“I was going to bring her back.” Kiri pouted as they began walking back to their shared tent. “But she really liked the fish.”
Tua giggled when Neytiri tickled her cheek. You smile gently at Kiri, “I understand you want to spend time with your new sister, but at least let her fill up her stomach first before you go taking her on your little adventures, please.”
Kiri nodded, resting her head on your shoulder, “Yes, Mom, I will. Promise.”
Apparently, you had to tell all of the children this.
It happened again a few days later. This time you had tried to put Tua down for a nap. Only as soon as you took your eyes off of her—really you should’ve learned by this point—Tua was gone.
You didn’t freak out this time, you only sighed. Jake entered and saw your face. He placed down his equipment and cupped your face to give you a kiss.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
“One of our kids took Tua again.”
The amusement was not missed on his face as he gave you another kiss, “Well, I did just see her with Lo’ak and Tsireya. Might wanna start there.”
You hug him close, burying your face into his neck. “Why do they keep doing this?”
Jake chuckled, gently squeezing the back of your neck, “You made her too adorable, baby. She takes after you.”
Just as you were about to pull away from the comfort of your husband’s arms, Lo’ak came into the tent with Tua sitting on his shoulders.
“She wanted you so I brought her back.” Lo’ak said, taking her off his shoulders.
“Where did you take her?” You asked when Tua reached for you.
Lo’ak glanced toward Jake and shrugged, “We were with Payakan—but we were careful, I promise!”
Jake sighed and you chuckled, “Don’t worry, I believe you. Just tell me before…” At this point, was it even worth telling him to remind you? Really, none of the children were doing any harm. Just spending time with their newest sister, which was really sweet when you got over the initial panic.
You pulled him into your side, “Just be sure not to take her with you on any of your shenanigans, like you do with Tuk.”
“As long as she doesn’t try to tattle on me.” Lo’ak muttered. Jake gave him a look.
“Penis face!”
The three of you froze and all turned to look at Tua in your arms. At first you thought you were hearing things, perhaps you had gone insane in the current heat. Perhaps you imagined the whole thing—
“Penis face!!” Tua giggled, clapping her hands together.
Your eyes widened as you stared at your daughter. There was a snort from your son.
You glared at your husband, “Jake!”
“Lo’ak!”
“What—Dad literally said it earlier!”
“Out! Both of you!”
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butterflieswhisper · 3 months
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i could write a whole post about how fishie behaves about moch s1 permadeath because. ohntngod. oh my god. holding beastfishie gently in my hands. You live in death games people will die
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Fool's Rambling #28:Prefect gone Bad
I got a bone to pick after re reading and rewatching some the Main Story . Dang, where those guys absolute assholes.
So imagine if Yuu, the quiet and kind Prefect who doesn't hold grudges, suddenly woke up one day and became the exact opposite. I don't want to expand but it's always Crowley's fault (or else how did they get themselves in this situation)!
Crowley tells Grim that its only for a day. His job now is to key Yuu alive, as the curse has made Yuu's personality reverse, the blunt words that come out of their mouth hit harder than usual.
Grim even asks the Adeuce duo for help, the two did, however they also had to stop their urge to punch Yuu whenever they spoke out of line.
.
.
.
Azul: Oh? I heard from a little fishy you got cursed. Do you want some help?
Yuu:*unprovoked* *Tries to punch him*
Azul:?!
Yuu: Sorry, I just remembered something and got the urge to punch your face...
Azul: Well now!!!
Yuu: When you threw a tantrum back then I couldn't help but cringe...You're so cringe, bro.
Azul:...
.
.
.
All of Yuu's words were like schoolyard insults, but it definitely worked given that they knew the past of those who overblotted and the secrets of some of their schoolmates. After all, they have always been an observer.
By the end of the day, Yuus friends just decided to lock them up their dorm.
Yuu had re-traumatized most of the students, undoing most of their hardwork.
They un-therapied their schoolmates.
They're gonna hate themselves when they return to normal.
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lunawagner · 2 months
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In the Name of Love - 2/2
warnings: female mc, self-hatred, mentions of toxic relationships, sex-aversion, trauma talk, oversharing, validation from Rafayel for all who need to hear it
part 1
"Are you awake?"
You rubbed your swollen eyes and nodded.
'I am sorry."
"Why do you apologize? Probably there are some tears and snot on my shirt and bed but I think they can bring innovation to fabric painting if we give them a chance."
"Rafayel!"
You kicked his legs as he laughed along with a fake pain.
"Miss bodyguard, is it really okay to kick your weak and fragile employer like this?"
"I didn't kick my employer, I kicked my cheeky boyfriend."
"Who told you cheeky boyfriends should be kicked?"
Rafayel pulled you into his embrace again. Even though you feigned cold you couldn't refuse the warm hug.
"Then what should I do with this fish?"
"Hmm… You may as well just give hugs and kisses. "
Seeing his shining eyes, your face betrayed a smile. You leaned on and kissed him shortly before hugging him back.
"Thank you."
"Always."
"Would you like to talk about it?"
"…"
You were afraid. It was a delicate subject you'd never shared with anyone before.
"Or I can prepare a feast in the honor of Miss Hunter who always protects the citizens of Linkon bravely"
Rafayel attempted to stand up but you stopped him.
"I… I want to talk with you. But… You might need to deal with more tears and snot during the process."
"Give me a second."
Rafayel left the room shortly and came back with tissues and ice cream. After giving them to you he prepped you up and pulled you to his lap
"I guess we are ready."
"Yeah."
You took a spoon from the ice cream. It was sweet and delicious.
"I… always had some problems with sex. Like everybody was sleeping with their partners or joking about it with friends. But…"
You felt tears welling up again in your eyes.
"But I did not like it."
As your voice trembled you tried to keep it up by eating more ice cream.
"I guessed that something was wrong with me and I didn't my friends and boyfriend to hate me."
"So I always laughed with my friends when they made jokes or touched my…chest and hips. It shouldn't be a matter since we are of the same gender."
Your tears dropped in the ice cream box. You scooped that part with your spoon but Rafayel catched your hand and carried the spoon to his mouth.
You did not dare to look at his face so you kept your eyes down.
"And when that guy asked me out, they all said I can't find a hotter guy so I should give it a try."
"I sensed that something was off, he was so touchy and demanding. But my friends said it is only normal since he likes me."
"So I started to date him, I did everything as he would be pleased. But all in all, he was only seeing me as a… as a fuckable piece of meat…'
You couldn't breathe and heavy sobs finally took control of you.
"I hated his gaze, I hated every inch of my body, I hated my own gaze!"
Your body was shaking fiercely.
"But, but I didn't know, I didn't know what to do. He called me his Venus, his honey fountain and I needed to be a "woman", accept and enjoy his…his…"
"Sssshh, I got it."
You closed your hands on your mouth to s your cries.
"I am sorry, I am so sorry!"
Pouring all your pain like that wasn't fair to Rafayel. You knew it, but you couldn't stop it. You never were able to stop anything.
It took quite a while until your sobs and shaking calm down, still Rafayel continued to hold you in his arms all this time.
"Sometimes I want to die and become a flower. I don't want to see any more meat or strange fluids." You murmured in a tired voice.
"But if we don't have meaty fluffy bodies, how am I supposed to hug you like this?"
He nuzzled his cheek against your cheek then placed a kiss there.
"How I am gonna feel your heartbeat and warmth. How am gonna give you fishy kisses"
He puckered his lips like the times you squeeze his cheeks. You sniffed and kissed him before wrapping your arms around his neck.
"It is not your fault, nothing is wrong with you."
Rafayel spoke in a serious voice. Burying your face to his neck, you listened to him like a little child.
"Your life, your body, your heart. All only belongs to you. Nobody has the right to force anything on you. Nobody is more important than you. "
"If you don't like something, don't want something, then others shall respect it or get lost and spread their viles somewhere far from you."
You nodded.
"What I feel in love is hidden in your eyes, your laugh, your tears. I have never deemed you as a mere body nor will I in the future. I am the last person who would hurt you, and devalue you. You are my little treasure."
You were about to cry again.
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weebsinstash · 9 months
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Ok! OK! Back to normal posts! Or at least normal for over here!
So I've been getting a lot of Hazbin and Helluva content in my YouTube feed recently and, as an interesting but also kind of disappointing fact, the way a Sinner dies directly influences how they appear in Hell. If you drown on a sinking ship like Baxter (scrapped side character who still has an enamel pin for some reason?), you might have an aquatic fishy look. Angel Dust died of a drug overdose, and he now has a prominent heart on his chest symbolizing the heart attack he died from
So, like. Obviously there are cool ideas on how maybe you could catch attention or appear down there, but, could you imagine how fucked you would be with like literally any yandere HH/HB character if you go down there very obviously dead from suicide. Platonic, romantic, sexual, it doesn't matter. You can't keep that shit secret
Charlie meets you and you're like a zebra with horizontal stripes and she thinks you just look so neat and interesting, and wow you're so sweet amd fun actually, what are you doing down here? And then she sees you have stripes going vertically down one or both of your forearms and she suddenly feels a little hope die inside of her because, what does it MEAN for someone like you to be in HELL for... suicide? That's not your fault! That's so sad! She would vow to be your new best friend and do her best to give you an amazing afterlife to make up for all the time you didn't get to have "up top"
Angel accidentally walks in on you changing and sees you have a heart on your chest and is in instant sibling mode because he knows the second Val sees that he'll go crazy for it since he loves that aesthetic (Also extra bad luck if you're chesty and the heart is like in between your boobs or like you know nestled in your cleavage or whatever because then you're getting forced into constant push-up bras) but, also, if you were an addict, that means you're vulnerable. For Val, that makes you a target, and for Angel that means you're probably miserable and spiraling like him and he doesn't want to see you go down the same roads he has
Alastor who meets a version of you that has a certain old timey kinda twang or is kinda theatrical and showtuney in your voice/mannerisms and maybe you glow a little and it's because you put your radio in the bathtub 💀 definitely don't let your extra special "platonic friend" find out you killed yourself from crippling loneliness, partially caused by not having a partner!
Valentino who sees you're literally blue-faced with a certain pattern around your neck and instantly knowing that this interesting little cutie he's curious about is an emotionally vulnerable mark. It won't be TOO hard to pour drinks down your throat and maybe lend you some of this joint until you're spilling all your intimate secrets, he figures
Blitz already has multiple instances of family trauma and feeling rejected and isolated, so how do you think he's gonna empathize if you're some.... yellow skinned aquatic demon who literally drank like a fish and died of liver failure/alcohol poisoning. The imp watching you get piss drunk all over again and bawling how you're a failure and no one will love you? You're crashing on his couch tonight cuz he doesn't wanna leave you alone. And also the next night. And the next. And the next.
Stolas certainly would be awfully sympathetic to a teen or adult child abused by their family and ending their life because of it, coming down to Hell with spots like a dalmatian or leopard from where you were beaten, and bright red on one specific patch of your hair from where you hit the ground after jumping from a great height
Annnnnnnd as a bonus, Asmodeus and a Darling with visible handprints on their neck who was choked to death during sex, so not only is he horribly protective of you as someone killed by a lover, the act of even being lovers something he considers pretty intimate and important, but also because you've now got these horrible sex related traumas and.... honey baby cutiepie, he's gotta fix all that if the two of you are gonna bone down something nasty. You're at least gonna let him cuddle, right 🥺
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writingmonet · 18 days
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The Psychology of Fives: the impact of Echo's ghost, Rex, Tup & legacy (part 2)
You can find part one here if you didn't read it yet. I'm tired and (no) I didn't rewatch Umbara or the Chip's Arc (do you wanna me cry????), so leet's go memory.
Tup or why Fives may have dependant issues
Tup is a young clone who first appears in the Umbara Arc. While he and Fives aren't especially close in Umbara Arc (they are but as Fives and Jesse are as well), they do seems to have developed a special bond since, when we saw them again on Ringo Vinda, they're constantly at each other's side.
I'm gonna be honest, on my first watch of Umbara Arc I didn't pay attention to Tup that much, mainly because of a clone named Dogma. It's not Tup's fault! It's merely due tot he fact that Umbara Arc presents the challenges of bringing back clones we already knew more or less (Rex, Fives, Hardcase, Jesse and Kix) in the middle of a complex arc (Clones against Jedi, against orders) and with others complex clones (Dogma). So yeah, in the middle of this Tup was more of a secondary character for me and he isn't that developed in the two arcs he's in (but I'll talk about this later).
Back to our sheep, I mean clones. Fives, so used to having Echo at his side, doesn't seem to proceed effectively without someone at his side. Without a close friend. Tup seems to have been this other friend he seems to have been in dire need. Tup is the his way to restart again, to make sure he won't lose a brother if he can avoid it.
While I talk about Tup, this is also largely applicable to all his others clone friends. Fives is extremely protective of each of them and he advocate for their interests everytime he thinks the orders are against their well-being or security. Fives seems to depend a lot on people close to him and he doesn't seem to handle well when things go out of his way.
When Tup's chip activate, Fives do his duty by arresting him and he insist on following him. He can't lose Tup. He can't lose again a best friend. He lost his batch, he lost his twin, now he won't lose his best friend. Now, Fives doesn't display all the character traits of a protector. Or rather he can be a protector (especially toward siblings like Echo and Tup) but he cannot be too much of it since he's a soldier. Due to this, he knows that he's doom to lose siblings and has to dealt with the pain and grief born from it.
A consequence of this grief is that Fives, all during of Umbara Arc, show signs of intense emotions (justifiable considering the whole arc but that I also attribute to the loss of all his Squad). He goes mad rather easily, and he goes mad at Rex when the latter refuses to follow his plan. He decides to execute his plan because he knows it's the best plan they have, and he go search for more volunteers: two brothers against the lives of thousands of them. That's really a cost that Fives is ready to pay.
Side-note: this trait of Fives having difficulty remaining quiet especially when he doesn't find the situation right is definitely a core trait of his on my rewatch of the deleted scene of ARC Troopers where he has difficulty not expressing what he thinks out loud at Rex, who noticed it. It's interesting to notice that he's already taking Hevy-traits when Echos' alive but goes even deeper into it after his twin's death.
Unfortunately for him, in his plan, Hardcase dies and, then, Tup dies and Fives, mad with grief, just doesn't get it. It's so strange that he starts to investigate immediately out of grief. There's something fishy and he will prove it out of loyalty and devotion for his brothers.
That lead me to a point: if Fives had a single doubt about Echo's survival, he would have jump to save him. No questions ask. Unfortunately, Fives will die before he is able (in a few week's time if I'm correct?) too.
Because Fives' life is marked by grief, he refuses - he cannot not go dig into Tup's mysterious death. Losing a brother on a battlefield is something. Losing a brother under foggy circumstances is another, one that Fives will not (cannot) accept.
Now, we all know what happens to Fives, and his ultimate death. I only want to use this to make the transition with the importance of Rex in Fives' life, whom he trusted until the very end, dying in his arms, hoping that his nightmares (of killing the Jedis, of seeing again, again and again, the death of his batchmates) would end.
Fives was reunited with Tup and (almost) all his Domino brothers. Fives had to survive without Echo. Now, in the cruellest joke that could have been made (and thanks Dave Filoni for the tears shed) Echo would have to live without him.
Why is Rex so important in Fives (and Echo by extension) life?
If we look at all the clones from the Clone Wars, since episode one, not much are still alives and not much has been developed about them (another subject of debate). But Rex is, beyond the shadow of a doubt one of the few clones we have known, was developped and still alive.
Rex is also, without doubt, Fives (and Echo) the most important person in their life. It's him who integrates them in the 501st. It's in front of him that Fives & Echo are named ARC-Troopers. It's Rex who serves as this older brother the fandom has established him.
After Echo's death, it's Rex who remains for Fives to hold on to, as someone who knew Echo as well as Fives (perhaps the only one? Jesse and Kix knew Echo but less deeply maybe?). I do believe that one of the reasons why Fives and Rex are so close is because of Echo. Many have drawn parallels between Echo & Rex (rule-followers, fiercely loyal) and Fives & Cody.
As Rex states: you [Fives & Echo] both have really stepped up. Reminds me of me, actually.
Being close to Rex is also for Fives a way of being close to some remaining - some echoes, of Echo. Fives have a mad respect for Rex, to the point that when he disobeys orders, he still wants to know if the man will be against or on his side. Due to the CW structure, however, we do not know enough about Fives' other relations but I don't believe that he demonstrated such a deep respect toward anyone, except Anakin maybe, since their General is always with them on the front of battles. I have little doubt that Rex is an anchor in Fives' life, like Tup is, especially after Echo's disappearance.
Unfortunately, for all the blind trust and immense respect Fives had toward Rex, the latter only half-believed him during the whole chip arc.
A side note: Fives & Anakin seemed to have been close friends. It is stated that Fives death profoundly impacted Anakin. This may be the reason why Anakin followed Rex to rescue Echo. He had known Echo, he had known Fives and if he could save one of his men he always would give it a try, especially the twin of one of his best soldier.
Echo's pursue of Fives legacy
The most ironic thing is that Echo is found after Fives' death and we, unfortunately (and scandalizing!) have no idea of his reaction to the announcement of Fives' death.
This is frustrating and, I repeat, one of the biggest issues I have with the Clone Wars is the lack of development of the clones + inter-personnal relations (but this is another essay, that will be linked with Hevy).
Thankfully, we do have some indices of how Echo may have reacted, with his goal to save most of his brothers from the Empire and to get them out of the inhibitor chip influence. Which is exactly what Fives wanted.
Echo - and Rex, are here to pursue Fives' legacy and last goal shortly before his death. According to Jennifer Corbett, the director of TBB, Echo and Rex had long and multiple conversations about Fives. Why were we robbed of at least one of these scenes is a mystery I'm unable to answer.
Echo, who wasn't here for Umbara (which he may have profoundly changed) nor for Ringo Vinga, who has lost everything, guilt-eaten by what he has done at the hands of the Sepperatist leave his second family (The Bad Batch - quite fitting considering how Hevy saw themselves as a band of bad batchers) to return with Rex to make sure that Fives' death wasn't in vain.
Echo chooses a dead man's ideals over those of living ones, and TBB knows that it is a good thing to do but isn't interested in saving the clones that they never have perceived as family, unlike Echo. It doesn't mean Echo doesn't care for them! It only means that, in the great scheme of things, Fives will always remain the person he would choose above all like Fives did with Echo's memory (his deep attachment to his clone brothers & his mindset to never lose a brother in every avoidable way again).
Okay, I'm tired. But now I know I have an essay to write about Hevy at the weekend. Again, if anyone wants to express his opinions, I'll gladly discuss it.
As a treat, our favourite pair of twins while they were still happy:
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(also the amount of non-verbal interaction between those two all the episodes they're together? If you never pay attention, go rewatch the episodes there's like a TON OF IT)
Anyway, PEAK TWIN and I'll die on this hill.
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libraford · 5 months
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I know I’m a rando so apologies if this is over familiar but your work situation sounds a lot like what my friend was going through in grad school. She had been doing really well the first year, then the second year her advisor suddenly started finding all sorts of “fundamental issues” with her research project. He discouraged her from applying for grants and said her submissions were too poor to even consider. All sorts of really harsh criticisms that often contradicted each other and were hard to follow. She felt like she was going crazy. Then she learned he found a different student that he would basically be able to pay much less to do all his lab work for him, and he was clearly trying to force her out to make room for the newer cheaper student. Trust your gut, I don’t think this situation is your fault at all. Something fishy is happening with your company for sure. I’m sorry for all this trouble.
Yikes that's harsh.
Part of the reason that my crits have been so numerous and harsh is that this year I was expected to learn something new. And I understand it in concept, but I have been making mistakes that are typical of new learners. But because there was no SAFE place to make those mistakes, the pressure is on to do them correct the first time and every time.
Like with groups, right?
My first groups job I was doing really well, I thought. Up until we got to the football team, which was 45 minutes late to the location. And they lined them up by number even though we asked for tallest to shortest. And the coach said he wanted to do them by number. So I did them by number. When we got to the end of it, he saw how terrible it was to do them by number and we had to redo it by height. At this point, they're frustrated with me for not doing it right the first time. I am frustrated with them for not listening the first time and also being 45 minutes late. The tennis team was waiting for me on the other side of the school, so I did my best. I showed the photo to the coach before leaving. Boss didn't like what I made for the football team and had to go back and do it again because I fucked up. I told her all of this and she said that I should have accommodated them because they're the football team and they have to have the best, even if that means waiting 45 minutes for them to arrive and making the tennis team wait 45 minutes.
My second groups job was a middle school that was asking me to do the team photo AND in between teams do candids for the yearbook. The kids were not behaving well and did not seem interested in taking a good photo, so I did my best even though the kids were fighting. Unfortunately, I made the completely reasonable mistake of leaving my aperature on too low between tasks and they ended up a little bit out of focus- which was not apparent in the camera but WAS apparent on the computer screen. This is a mistake that other people have made. I showed each photo to the coach before letting them go.
My third groups job was a class groups job, which all I had to do was follow the guide given to me. Which I did, up until about the 4th grade classes, which had their special classes going on at that time. Because of this, the number the teacher gave me was incorrect and I had to add students to rows in ways that did not reflect the guide because the other option was to disassemble the class group and reassemble it so that it reflected the guide. Teachers were rushing me to hurry up, so I made executive decisions. This was unfortunately the wrong decision. I also posed them in a way that was consistent with what my boss wanted, but not what the district specialist wanted.
On my fourth groups job, I was told all of the mistakes I had made in the previous jobs and that I need to take consideration all of the details and guides that were there for me to use because my previous jobs required her to go back and do them again, so I had better not make the same mistakes (all of which were different mistakes each time). I am upset. So to make it easier on myself, I asked the coaches if they had a specific way they would like to have them posed. The coaches, delighted that I asked, gave me their feedback on previous years and what they would like to change. And I, delighted that they had preferences, obliged. I showed the photo to the coach before leaving. My boss said I did well! She was very pleased with my work. The district specialist was not! He said that I needed to follow the guide because the numbers were incorrect and that I needed to follow the numbers. He tapes a guide to the back of my slate to use. I ask my boss if she could help me next time.
On my fifth groups job, I am disheartened by the amount of criticism I've gotten but I am determined to get it right this time. My boss is present. I am placing the students with the order given to me by the specialist. I walk away to double check. She tells me that its wrong- that I shouldn't have 9 people in front. I tell her that I was using the guide. She shows me her guide. The guides are different from each other. I ask her which guide I'm supposed to use and she says 'whichever one is correct.' I ask her how I'm supposed to know which one is correct and she tells me the theory of how the placement is supposed to go instead of giving me an answer. I get a little shirty. She tells me that this is my 5th job like this, I should know how to do this by now. I start crying. She goes away for the rest of the day to do admin stuff and I handle the rest of the day fine.
My critique says that I am unable to adapt to change and I am inflexible, struggles to take criticism well or think under pressure.
So I'm expected to do well because its my third year. But I have two different supervisors who don't agree on what 'doing well' is and my progress is not seen as progress so much as 'another mistake.' If my mistakes were consistent, then that would be indicative of refusal to take criticism. But because the mistakes are different every time, that's not the case. I WANT to learn. But I would like everyone to be on the same page about what they want from me.
And when I pointed this out, I was told I was being confrontational.
So I am feeling the rage right now.
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