#and it's about my relationship with my long-dead father; yikes

[interstella-eyes]

✦ Cordelia and Flynn Gryffin

You can probably tell from their proportions, but Cordelia is like a head taller than Flynn, that's why their refs next to each other look so goofy lmao

I somehow managed to do real quick references for Cordelia and Flynn before Art fight, so I’m using this as an opportunity to talk about their lore!! Long ass ramble ahead 🫡

Cordelia 🦚

Cordelia is a peafowl puenymph! Specifically a male one because they look especially beautiful and noble, which fits her heritage of “rarer“ puenymphs. When it comes to animals with sexual dimorphism, these features usually match the sex of the person, which makes Cordelia intersex because she is female! She is also unable to transform at all because she lacks the hormones needed for transformation, meaning she is “stuck“ in her hybrid form (which can get inconvenient with her long tail)

She is considered a very beautiful puenymph and gets a lot of attention for her heritage. A lot of pressure lasts on her to maintain her family’s image, meaning she got a lot of backlash from the public for having children with a “common“ puenymph which would “poison the prestigious bloodline“ (YIKES!!!). This only got worse when the public found out that Robin turned out to be a “commoner“ too.

During the time Flynn was lost at sea, she was helped with raising Samuel and Robin by her close friend Pascha, becoming very close with her and developing romantic feelings. They got together and Pascha and her daughter Noctua became part of the family. After Flynn came back home and they got to know each other and fall in love again, Cordelia, Pascha and Flynn enter a polyamorous relationship.

Flynn 🦈

Flynn is a great white shark puenymph with a passion for sailing. He likes exploring the undocumented parts of the sea in the puenymph realm, which becomes detrimental for him when his ship gets caught in a storm and is destroyed. He is the only survivor, with the rest of the crew being sent to the demon realm and unable to contact him. He was straying around in the ocean in his shark form for TWENTY YEARS until he got home (arriving around 3 years after the beginning of my actual oc story).

He had a very hard time readjusting, seeing that everyone he loved thought he was dead and moved on, and on top of that not having much human contact for two decades. Though he was able to rekindle most of his relationships after a lot of time and effort, his relationship to Robin is extremely distant and strained, as Robin has next to no memories of his father and believed he had left for so long on purpose.

And yeah that’s it!! (she says after rambling for ages)

[multishipperbish]

rotating the idea of a Jalph soulmate AU inside my head

but not a traditional fix-it soulmate AU where they find each other and immediately fall in love and all is well that goes well. What about that "first words are tattooed somewhere on their body" AU where Ralph has "Where's the man with the trumpet?" on his arm and Jack has "There's no man with a trumpet. Only me." on his leg.

What if they meet each other for the first time and they're friends. What if Jack betrays Ralph and they start hating the words on them. What if Ralph covers his arm with mud and Jack his leg with blood. They're hesitant to clean up when they're on the boat back home. During future confrontations their eyes wander and they meet gazes and just know what the other's thinking : what if we could have made it work?

It's the 1950s so obviously they're not thinking about being in a relationship. Maybe the media normalises platonic soulmates. Maybe not; maybe their parents told them they'd better have female soulmates or else. Maybe after their first meeting, Ralph looks at his arm every now and then and feels a deep discomfort in his stomach but he tells himself it's fine as long as they're on the island because nobody's going to bother them about it. Maybe Jack starts wearing longer pants after the island because his father found out and started hassling him about finding the girl who'd speak about a trumpet, however strange she may sound.

And maybe then they're back in school and undergoing therapy (probably not cause the 1950s were yikes about mental health but it'd nice to think about) they see their soulmarks and the feeling of longing from before the island comes back. "If only I could find them I'd be whole" turns to "If only I'd handled it better". They wish it could have worked. They wish they could have stayed friends. If only it had gone differently. Right person wrong time. Because if they're soulmates obviously their souls are going to feel like something's missing their whole lives now that they've found each other and they're apart, so add to that the PTSD and whatever else is going on inside their heads, the poor boys will not be having a good time.

Maybe Jack feels the pull of the hunt after the island (because I personally headcanon that he's lived pretty repressed beforehand due to his strict parents and the island gave him freedom he's never had before; the hunt was an amalgamation of all the stress that comes from having an overbearing successful Father with a capital F melting off his bones) AND the pull of the soul. Maybe he meets people with fair hair and the most gorgeous smile and he wants to vomit because he remembers the blood on his hands. Maybe Ralph is trying to socialise at school and he sees parts of Jack in everyone he meets. Maybe Ralph tells himself to shut up about his missing half, he doesn't have it that bad, just look at Simon and Piggy and the mulberry kid! at least he's not dead! (don't do that kids. that's a horrible coping mechanism. seek professional help) and still he goes to church and hears the choir and wonders if Jack still sings.

I dunno it's just an idea!! I am not done yapping about this. Will add on through reblogs if needed

[motownfiction]

birthday wish

One week after Daniel makes his birthday wish, a part of it comes true.

Every year, for the past twenty years, he makes the same wish – a wish he previously thought was impossible. He gets around the cake Sadie always bakes for him (yellow with the most perfect chocolate buttercream icing), closes his eyes, and blows out the candles. Year in and year out, he makes the same wish: that his family will be whole again.

He knows what he means when he says that. He means that he wishes his father would rise from the dead, sixteen years later, and make amends with him. Poor Daniel is still that little boy who wants Frank DeLuca to clap him on the shoulder and tell him that he’s done a good job. Even in death, Daniel wants Frank to be the kind of father who takes you on fishing trips and plays his favorite music for you on long car rides to pretty much nowhere. But he never was, and now, he’ll never be. Sixteen years.

When Daniel wishes for his family to be whole again, he also wishes for Sam to rise from the dead. He wants him to show up at their front door one day with colorful stories about what things have been like in heaven for the past two decades. He wants to know how Sam’s getting along with James Dean and Sal Mineo. He wants to know if The 27 Club is annoyed or endeared by his affections (because surely, even in death, Sam is a fan). He wants to have a real friend close by again. More than anything, Daniel wants to see the look on Sadie’s face when Sam shows up at home again. Twins shouldn’t be without each other for long.

When Daniel wishes for his family to be whole again, he wishes for a phone call from Charlie. One where he apologizes for taking his grief out on everyone else. One where he says he’s sorry for putting Daniel in the middle of everything: by ganging up on Sadie in front of him, by confessing his affair with Elenore, by abandoning Elenore’s daughter to salvage a relationship with Carrie and their son. He wishes Charlie would call him. Not so that they could be best friends again but so that they could have some civility … some reminder that all those years were not a waste. Rosemary is fond of saying, Dad, nostalgia is a liar every time he wants to talk about Uncle Charlie. Even Mom’s moved on, and Uncle Charlie is her brother. But Daniel’s pretty sure it’s more than that. Daniel’s pretty sure you’re not supposed to give up on the people who loved you when you couldn’t love yourself. Even if you need to put them away for a little while, it’s not the same as giving up. It can’t be. Daniel doesn’t want it to be.

And then, a week after his fifty-sixth birthday – his fifty-sixth birthday wish – his phone rings.

It’s Charlie.

Daniel takes a very deep breath before answering. He remembers the last time he took a call from Charlie. It was almost nineteen years ago, in the same kitchen where he stands today, back when he and Sadie still had a landline. He remembers meeting with Charlie all night long. He remembers how badly it went. And yet, Daniel knows he’s going to answer. He knows he has to take the call.

They’ve got a lot of talking to do.

(part of @nosebleedclub march challenge -- day viii! i’m really squeaking it in under my time zone to be on time for today, yikes)

[legobiwan]

I was annoyed when the Clovis arc had Padme put her foot down then the plot was dropped. Therapy/help were available to Anakin but as it shows w/his scene w/Yoda he'll ignore the advice he doesn't want, at least at first. Thanks to the marriage & Palpatine he's used to getting what he wants. Maybe he'd be an ok dad but maybe not. Yes, Satine & Obi actually knew each other. They had similar believes. Anakin hides his political beliefs in AOTC & Padme ends up trusting Obi more (in the ROTS novel.)

You know the thing that really irks me about the Clovis arc (which really is an underrated set of episodes) is that yes, Padmé finally puts her foot down after Anakin goes ballistic on Clovis (which, I mean, how many red flags, right???) and then the next time we see the three of them together, Clovis literally sacrifices himself for Padmé. (And in contrast, not so long after, Anakin sacrifices Padmé for himself.)

Look, Clovis was not a saint of a person (the lady said "no," my friend, time to drop it) and Padmé was definitely conflicted through the entire set of episodes, but that is no excuse for Anakin to almost kill a man due to jealousy (although Clovis challenging him to a fight was peak hilarity).

And to come back to that last scene with the three of them, after Clovis sacrifices himself and Anakin saves Padmé, the first thing she does is throw herself into Anakin's arms and say how sorry she is. I mean, I get it, due to the traumatic nature of the situation but that is also a yikes. Because she really did, for once, put her foot down with Anakin and then it all came crashing down in a way that would careen her back to Anakin and create even more conflict (and we know Palpatine was pulling strings on this one).

And it's the guilt, isn't it? The guilt Padmé feels for allowing everything to get to this point, for her conflicted feelings about Clovis and Anakin, for Dooku forcing her to shoot that one guy (I had FORGOTTEN THAT HAPPENED and frankly, had forgotten just how hardcore Dooku went in this series of episodes, like, woah), and maybe even a little bit of guilt in feeling a little bit of relief Clovis is dead so she won't have to deal with those emotions...

So in light of all of that preceding the birth of the twins...

Yeah, we actually have no idea what Anakin would have been like as a father (because as Padmé rightfully says, their entire relationship is built on lies and deception). Even if Palpatine dropped dead from Cheeto-overload and then the Order smoked some bowls of spice and decided everything was cool with marriage, etc. I still think they both, personally, had a lot to work through before even contemplating marriage and a family.

And I think it's less Anakin hiding his beliefs in AotC (Frankly, I don't think he really had any form of developed political beliefs at that juncture although you could argue his slaughter of the Tuskens is a pretty loud foreshadowing of what his political beliefs will (de)evolve into) than Padmé just...maybe growing up a little bit and also coming down from the whole "honeymoon" phase of their relationship (even clandestine trysts lose their luster after a while). Which, mind you, would have been fine if they haven't run off and eloped and doubled-down on the whole series of bad decisions. (Not to mention Anakin's controlling nature).

The person I feel the worst for in all of this is Padmé. She's been in political training since the age of negative five and is always having to navigate her relationship with and be someone with her constituents, with the Senate, with Anakin, with Clovis...when does Padmé just get to be Padmé? Now, that's a tragedy.

[dangermousie]

Oooof, they are gorgeous but all I feel is dread because she’s using him. And she may tell herself it’s for the best and he won’t mind but even she knows that’s deluded.

So the thing about the infamous carousel scene, I know a lot of people were very up in arms about it but my ultimate reaction is that eh - Ekim and Kanat are even steven now, which admittedly is not a way to run a relationship.

Because what he did is awful but what she did (first!) is every bit as awful. Each hurt the other person unbearably, knowingly - and each used the other person’s feelings and vulnerability that they don’t show others, that they revealed in confidence. Having Ekim kidnapped off the street only to be brought to the place where she was abandoned by her father (as she told Kanat is a vulnerable moment) and then go “see! I bet he left you because you stabbed him in the back” is vile. Pretending you agree to date someone and be with someone and fight against the world with him and then lead him on and on (when he’s clearly emotionally desperate - Ekim may not know about the abuse but even she can tell Kanat is clingy and intense because he’s truly desperate to love and be loved) when you are manipulating him for info, is equally vile.

Like this bit of manipulation made me genuinely uncomfortable “it’s like we are engaged! so tell me the truth about the crime!” Yikes.

Look at him here. It’s like this made him believe he’s worthy of love for the first time. Only to go “psych!”

There is a reason he says this about her father leaving - because he’s mirroring, and it says volumes about what his greatest fear/hurt was and is.

And yes, he’s uniquely vulnerable to being broken by her action but even if he was a functional happy Mr. Happison from Functionville, it would have still been beyond the pale. But it’s like she hit dead center in his most vulnerable spot - his fear he can’t be loved and his desperation to protect his brother. And then she set it all on fire. She brought a recording device and recorded what he confessed.

And the thing is, Aziz is his no-go zone. I think a lot of the reason he tries to take the blame on himself is because of this, not because any rational person would believe he’s the culprit. Riza fucked up both his kids and Kanat lets Aziz get away with (not literal) murder because of guilt.

He begs and yet she goes to the cops.

He is terrified at himself and appalled and this is like the greatest trust he could give her but she breaks it into pieces.

And it’s not that I blame her but I totally get why he lost it so badly, especially knowing he has zero healthy relationship models which means knowing that there certain things you don’t say and do even in fights. And - honestly - she should also have known that certain things, like manipulating someone emotionally to get info and hitting his biggest vulnerabilities - is also a death knell.

(bwahahaha I want to be so hot that even when a man is dumping me for being an evil witch, he’s singing praises of my beauty!)

He orchestrated the carousel to hurt her. But she went forward in her plan under no illusions of what it was going to do to him either (she has that nightmare where he kills himself.) He told her about Aziz in confidence and begged her not to reveal and she told him about her father in confidence and begged him not to reveal, and then they both did. It’s horrifyingly even, to me.

In real life, I’d tell both of them to lose each other’s number. But it’s a show so I am just gonna desperately hope for therapy. And enjoy watching the gorgeous dysfunction!

God, this is perfectly tailored to my specs!!!

In real life, no relationship would get over this double whammy. But after OTPs in Kuzgun or Cesur ve Guzel (here to manipulate you to take down your fam) or SBA (I will marry you at gunpoint because you saw me perform a mob hit), Turkish dizis can sell me on anything. And that’s not even getting into my being a long-term period cdrama watcher where even “oops, I murdered your whole fam on purpose” is not necessarily a deal breaker (The Wolf.) Anything can be gotten over in a show if a couple is hot enough and this one is on fire. She’s stunning and with gorgeous hair and his neck is delightfully thick and he cries beautifully, they will make it.

[buddieisgoingtohappen]

Buck Being A Second Father to Chris Fics

Firefighter Buck (Gone Wrong)

Eddie asks Buck for a huge favor, and who is Buck to refuse a favor for his favorite kid (and his best friend who he is madly in love with...besides the point). What happens when Buck’s bad luck completely blows up what he is trying to do? Will Christopher be able to forgive Buck for it? And to think it all happened, because of a faulty fire extinguisher.

The Heart Means I Love You

short fic about the first time Christopher calls Buck "dad".

under my skin

Christopher has trouble with his maths homework, and asks Buck for help behind Eddie's back. Eddie finds out.

The Dad Bomb

Christopher calls Buck dad for the first time, even tho Eddie and him aren't together yet.

Making it Official

While celebrating Buck being off his blood thinners, Christopher calls Buck 'Pop' for the first time. In front of everyone. Only Buck and Eddie aren't dating. It kicks off a chain of events that leads to the two men making their relationship official.

Knocking On Heaven's Door

Buck isn’t sure where he is. The last thing he remembers was being out on a call. Now he’s here, in a place he has never seen before surrounded by people he doesn't know. It's bright. That's all he can really tell. Based on a Tumblr prompt where someone asked for Buck and Chris both ending up in purgatory at the same time before they ever met in life. Buck has a ticket back to the living world but he gives it to Chris who is supposed to die. An old man, seeing what Buck did for Chris, decides to give his own ticket for the living world to Buck, because the world needs more people like him.

Kiss Me Once ('Cause You Know I Had A Long Night)

“Mijo, whatever you said, I’m sure you can fix it. What did you say?” “I said he wasn’t my father.” And...yikes. Eddie knew that wasn’t true; Buck was just as much Chris’ father as he was. Not only did the adoption paperwork say as much, but Buck’s entire being revolved around his sister, his job, his fire family, his husband, and, most importantly, his boy, and he never saw himself as anything but Chris’ dad. It probably stung to hear his son sling such hurtful words at him, probably touched on a fear deep inside, that he wasn’t worthy of being Chris’ father, that he wasn’t doing a good enough job. Just...yikes.

More Hearts Than Mine

Buck runs into an old friend from the Seals when he and Christopher are in the park.

Fall

Buck falls, while he watches over Christopher.

good luck charms

He’s had moments like this before but for some reason this one was gripping at his heart like no other.

to conquer (fear)

“Buck is standing right in front of me,” Eddie starts, and then anger swells and he clenches his free hand into a fist. “Did someone actually tell my kid Buck was dead without CHECKING?”

a proud big brother

“Is Mr. Diaz home? This is Principal Summers from Durand, we’re calling about Christopher.” Buck’s heart kicked up in his chest and he shifted the phone to his other ear as he moved to grab socks so he could tug them and his boots on. “Mr. Diaz isn’t home right now but I’m Evan Buckley- Christopher’s alternate emergency contact. What’s going on?” Buck asked as he shoved his feet into his boots and hastily tied them as he cradled the phone between his cheek and his shoulder. “There has been a minor altercation between Christopher and another of his classmates and he’ll be needing to be picked up from school,” Principal Summers said calmly.

dearly departed (we are gathered here today)

The room is still dark when the vibration under his pillow jerks him awake; for a moment he thinks he’s back at the station, still on shift, but there’s no alarm blaring and his hip doesn’t have the dull ache it always does whenever he’s been in the bunks for awhile. Still—his phone ringing before dawn is never good, so he gropes under the pillow for it and peers blearily at the screen. Eddie.

It's Damn Exhausting

Under the impression that he is "exhausting" and ruining his dad's life, Chris decides to run away. Buck interrupts his plans and they talk.

Too good to be true

the one where Christopher doesn't want them to be boyfriends. But it's not what it sounds like.

Can't Stay Away

“Long story short, your kid is too damn smart," Buck began. "Seriously, Eddie, maybe you need to pull him out of that fancy school and send him back to public school. Dumb him down a bit so he’s easier to handle.” Buck’s words became so tangled in his anxiety that he couldn’t really process what he was saying. “What the hell are you talking about? Is Chris okay? Is he in trouble?” “He’s fine. Safe and sound, happy as a clam, but I’d say he is definitely in trouble.”

In Case of Emergency

Christopher wants to start catching the bus to school which gives Eddie a minor freakout but Buck convinces him to get Chris a phone so he can call if anything goes wrong. Then Buck sees the phone numbers programmed into the phone and realises that his is not there, and he immediately jumps to the wrong conclusion.

Half a Superhero

Eddie knew he was overreacting. He knew that he shouldn't have said what he said to Buck. But he couldn't help but lash out when he heard his son call Buck 'Dad'.

Pick a Side

“But dad!” “No.” “Please!” --- Or, when the Diaz boys argue, they both want Buck to take their side.

some bridges were built for burning

“He’s a kid, I figured he would have questions.” “It’s not your place though, is it? Because he’s not your kid!” [Or: Eddie's dating Ana Flores. Buck's just dating. But when Buck oversteps with Christopher, it leads to some messy realizations and even messier conversations. (Although...maybe some good ones too.)]

I Wanna See You Be Brave

Christopher’s having a meltdown over an upcoming doctor’s appointment and Eddie calls Buck to save the day. It turns out Christopher isn’t the only one having some big feelings.

in my eyes, my heart, my soul

“We made you pancakes for Father’s Day,” Christopher says. Eddie watches the expressions that cross Buck’s face. Surprise, confusion, then a careful kind of joy like he’s beginning to put together exactly what Christopher means. “For—for me?” Buck asks, so quiet Eddie barely hears it. “Yeah,” Christopher says. “I want you to be my other dad. If… if you want to be.”

Father's Day

Buck kept saying that he wasn't Chris' dad just because he and Eddie started dating. Eddie and Chris had something to say about that

Walking Heart

Buck has now lost Christopher twice. Once during a tsunami and again at the mall. He's pretty sure neither Eddie nor Christopher will forgive him for this.

Please Don't Stop

Christopher is happy that his Dad and Buck are dating but he's sick of seeing them being gross all the time so he says something about it but it has an unwanted result. (Happy ending)

Christopher's Two Dads

Eddie asks Buck on that breakfast date instead of Ana Flores.

Nothing but a Distant Memory

Buck understands that everyone's busy, that they all have stuff more important than this. It doesn't exactly make it hurt any less when he's one of the few there unaccompanied by someone.

A Learning Curve

After a year, it was getting kind of hard to justify why his childhood bike is collecting dust next to the same thing he watches reruns of Wipeout on. And since Christopher expressed an interest in riding it, he figured why not make some better memories on the thing—plus, he can't deny that kid anything. Eddie says Chris knows just what buttons to push to get Buck to cave. He should be embarrassed that an eleven-year-old can persuade him so easily, but when it's Christopher Diaz, every day is a struggle not to find a way to capture the world and give it to him in a bow-wrapped box.

Tomorrow is Here

It’s much easier, he once told Maddie, to lash out at the person who you know is always there for you. He meant it then, knows it’s true. He was hanging onto the knowledge now, with the slam of Chris’s door echoing through the house and his shouts still ringing in Buck’s ears. Two days after Eddie is gunned down on an L.A. street, Christopher isn't as okay as he seemed at first, and Buck struggles to comfort his favorite kid. (Fortunately, Buck is better at it than he thinks.)

someday soon i'll make you mine

"I didn't raise him to be this dramatic, you know," Eddie mutters as they listen to Christopher making his way down the hallway to make his entrance. "He gets this from you." Eddie doesn't seem to think there's anything unusual about what he's just said, but something warm blooms in Buck's chest. He gets this from you. His artificial, arbitrary line in the sand between parent and not is blurring once again.

A Bonus Dad

Father’s Day has never been something Buck celebrated much as a child. All of the cards and little gifts he could muster up for his dad were always met with a half smile and a pat on the back. Then, later in the evening, he would catch a glimpse of his father through the crack in the door and he would be silently crying on his bed. Buck never could seem to get it right.

Who You Gonna Call?

Eddie has to update the emergency contact numbers for Christopher's school, and wants to ask Buck, he's just worried it might be too soon in their relationship.

With Superman's blessing

It's almost Halloween, everything's been planned out, they had costumes and everything. And then Bobby called Buck to cover for someone's shift.

Evan "Buck" Buckley Has a Father, Is a Father

It's Father's Day, and Fathers Get Gifts. Buck gives a gift to his father (Bobby), Buck gets a gift from his son (Christopher), and someone asks someone out on a date.

We Write Promises on Crumpled Papers

Eddie's pretty sure that there's few things worse than going to pick Christopher up from school to find the kid crying. Especially when the reason breaks Eddie's heart as well.

calling out for somebody to hold tonight

Buck is on a date when he answers the phone to find out Christopher is in the hospital.

for as long as i can remember

“Can Buck come over tonight?” “I don’t—he didn’t—” Eddie looks in the rearview mirror and starts over. “You want to talk to Buck instead?” “You’ll be there, too,” Christopher responds, and Eddie can almost hear the duh he doesn’t say. Chris’s tone makes Eddie relax a little, though, something about it just casual enough to suggest that maybe the school won’t be reaching out to him at all. That maybe it’s something he and Buck can handle together. He pretends not to know why the idea of parenting at Buck’s side comes so damn naturally. “Um, yeah, I’ll see if Buck can come over.”

never let me go

Chris overhears his dads talking about expanding the family. He's less than happy.

opened our eyes and it’s changing the view

“Chris had an assignment. He—it’s a poem about family.” Eddie hums, raising his eyebrows. “What about it?” Everything, Buck wants to say. Everything about it. …or, Christopher writes a poem and everything falls into place.

practice makes perfect

Eddie asks Buck to go with him to parent-teacher night. What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go right?

The F Word

They stood quiet while changing clothes before getting into bed. They have shared a bed before, it wasn't such a big deal. "Thank you…" Eddie's voice broke the silent and Buck moved a bit to look over his shoulder at the man. "For what?" Buck kept his voice low, but couldn't help but feel that this was something more. "For being here tonight, and all of the other times. Happy Father's day Buck."

We're Both His Fathers

Christopher's school bus has an accident on the freeway. Buck and Eddie make sure to save him, but just as Buck is about to join Eddie and Chris on the ambulance he gets told it's "family only."

Lost and Pulled Together

Evan Buckley had always wanted to be a foster parent. He finally got his chance when he moved to LA. How does this change his first year on the job? And what happens when the child's biological father shows up?

don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple

Eddie comes to pick Buck up after a rough call and takes him home. Chris has two dads and sort of makes Buck minorly spiral.

A Safe Place to Land

four times Christopher calls buck 'Dad'

Three Letters

Christopher calls Buck a dad, Buck has complicated feelings about it, and Eddie is a steady comfort through it all.

If You Break It

Chris is upset about something and he won't tell Eddie so its only logical to call Buck for help. When Buck finds out what's wrong he's just as upset

i don’t believe that time will change your mind

“What happens to me when you guys get divorced?” The question is so abrupt it takes Buck a couple of seconds to fully process it. In that time, Christopher turns his head so his eyes settle on Buck’s and this time Buck doesn’t push away the need to shelter him, he embraces the feeling just as he embraces Christopher, one arm wrapping around Christopher’s shoulders. Christopher leans his body against Buck, and Buck’s heart soars and hurts in equal measures. “When we— Chris, what?"

I want my Bucky

Something is going on with Chris, he's upset and moody and Eddie can't for the life of him figure out what is wrong. Perhaps it's time to call in some reinforcements.

Papa

5 times someone assumes that Buck is Christopher's father + 1 time Christopher calls him his father

until it's time to see the light

After years of dancing around each other, Buck and Eddie finally got together, and everyone is thrilled. Everyone except for Chris.

Kiss It Better

When Buck is watching over the 118 kids, Christopher accidentally gets hurt. It is just a scratched knee, Buck has had his fair share of those when he was Christopher's age, but he can't help but worry about his favorite Diaz as he takes care of him.

You are in my future

Buck panics because Eddie calls him Christopher's dad until he understands that he has nothing to panic about.

follow me home (how could i ever leave without you?)

in the aftermath of the hostage situation, Buck goes home with Eddie

but this is getting good now

buck and christopher stretch, then make pancakes. eddie is in love.

When My Eyes Are Closed (Til Right When They Open)

When Chris has a tantrum, Eddie slips and refers to Buck as Chris's dad. A lot of feelings are revealed and Eddie has a few realisations at his kitchen table. Buck, as always, is right there.

all these broken hearts, but mine's the one bleeding

Buck figures out a new step-parent struggle when he has to discipline Christopher, and the boy tells him Buck isn't his father. This causes Buck to spiral, thinking Christopher disagrees with Buck being his step-parent, so he breaks up with Eddie even though he's madly in love with him. What he doesn't realize is that Chris is becoming a teenager, and teenagers say stupid shit like that when they're angry at their parents.

Lazy Mornings

A lazy morning in the Buckley-Diaz household results in a revelation which leaves Buck a little emotional.

darling, the future's better than yesterday

“Mr. Diaz“ “Buckley, actually. You are so lucky that Mr. Diaz isn’t here. Or maybe you’re not, because Mr. Diaz is a very nice man who tries to stay calm in these situations, whereas I am the protective father who will get answers for why my son is currently very upset at my station because a bully called his father a very nasty, homophobic word, and that bully is currently having lunch break as we speak.” “Mr. Buckley, we don’t have proof that George-“ “Yes, you do! My son is the perfect student. Ask any of his teachers. He gets good grades and is always nice and well behaved. He says his please and thank you’s. His father raised him with manners, you are respectful of others even when they’re different than you, and with the lesson that violence is bad. Yet he still punched someone. I think that is proof enough. You are suspending a boy defending his father, and yes, I agree that violence isn’t good. But by not punishing that bully, you are setting a bad example. I expect you to take action and call that boy’s parents, tell them what he did, and find a suiting punishment. If not, I will be in touch about discrimination in this school and your lack of action against homophobic language.”

Becoming the bad cop parent

Buck gets a call from Christopher's school and for the first time he has to be the bad cop parent.

Papa Buck

Its Buck's birthday and Chris gives him adoption papers. Buck is soft about it.

y(our) son

"You'll make such a good Dad one day."

My Family

"Sunday is parent's night at school. You two are coming, right?" "You want me to come? Isn't parent's night for parents?" Buck asks slowly. "Yeah. And you're a parent," Chris says in his 'duh' voice.

The Role We Were Born to Play

Eddie should have known it would be a bad day from the silent care ride. “Leave me alone! You’re not even my dad!”

The one with the porn

When taking care of Christopher while Eddie works an extra shift, Buck panics when he finds porn open on Christopher’s iPad.

And My Waves Meet Your Shore, Ever and Evermore

Chris is mistaken for being Buck’s kid, and Buck panics, knowing how Eddie reacted last time it happened. But, for some reason, Eddie seems to have no problem with it.

he aint my blood (but he's my boy)

It's Buck's birthday and Chris has a special gift he wants to give to him.

Already Parents (Let's have another)

Eddie and Buck are engaged and happy, but Eddie is already thinking ahead about how his family could grow. He and Buck share a soft moment on the couch and agree that they want to expand their little family. Chris overhears and misunderstands what his dad and his Buck are planning. Sweetness ensues after clarifications are made.

Christopher' Question

Eddie and Buck are finally getting married. After years of watching them dancing around each other, watching his father asking Buck to be his husband, Christopher has a question of his own.

Daddy Dearest

Chris is sick how will his dads help him?

shower me with good times

Buck opens his door on the Saturday morning before Father’s Day, fully prepared for the long trek down to the mailroom, but he’s stopped in his tracks by something on the floor. He frowns down at the ground, because there’s a small, potted cactus right in front of his door, and he’s about 95% sure he didn’t leave it there. He groans as he bends down to pick it up, carefully balancing on his crutches while his fingers fumble with the small envelope attached to the cactus. Chris says thanks for the help and Happy Father’s Day. He wanted to get this for you because it’s small like him but won’t die since you’re a little slow right now. – Eddie. Buck blinks back the sudden onslaught of tears that prickle in his eyes, the words swarming his vision before he takes the cactus into the living room and sets it on the middle of the coffee table. His heart flips in his chest once, twice, and by the third flip, he knows for sure what it means.

a father's day misunderstanding

Buck always helps Christopher make his Father's Day cards for Eddie but this year, when he asks, Christopher lies and says he's making it at school. When Buck overhears Chris asking Carla for help making the card, he's confused and hurt. It all works out, though. Buckley-Diaz family fluff!

(Do I wanna know?) If this feelin' flows both ways?

Buck has always hated Father's Day - he expects this year to be no different, but Christopher Diaz has other ideas.

Blurred lines of our family (and the darkness that lures over me)

In the heat of the moment Chris tells Buck something he didn’t mean. Buck can’t handle being told that he wasn’t wanted. His mind spirals and he almost doesn’t get to see his family again. The ocean took him once already, what’s one more attempt?

Growing Pains

When Christopher throws a teenage tantrum, Buck takes it harder than he should.

it hurts to hope for more

Buck wants to be a dad, it takes a couple break-ups and a major non-romantic heartbreak for him to figure out that maybe he already is.

will someone please want me?

Everyone is someone's baby. Christopher resigned to being nobody's. He was always special, this was no different. But it couldn't be fair for Buck to be nobody's baby either. It only takes a tsunami to realize that Christopher has been Buck's forever.

For the rest of my life (for the rest of yours)

Buck, Eddie and Christopher go to the zoo to see the baby hippo and Eddie gets all up in his feels about it.

Piece by Piece, I Filled the Holes that you Burned in Me at Six Years Old

“Sometimes I swear you and Christopher are alike.” Three days later and something about what Eddie had said was still bugging Buck. He knew what it was and the more he thought about it, the more worried he got about Christopher. Buck realized he and Christopher are alike in the worst ways.

For the best Buck ever.

Christopher sighed. “Well, Father’s day is coming up,” he said, “and then I realized that you have a day and I have a day to think about mom and visit her, but Buck doesn’t have a day,” he said.

Dads

Buck being Christopher’s other dad.

He Called Me… Papa.

Christopher gets sick during a trip to the zoo with Buck. Buck panics when he realizes hours later what Christopher had called him.

Last updated: 5/26/24

[cherrybracelets]

I’ll Take You On

bucky barnes x f. reader

18+ / drinking mentions, heavy smut (unprotected s*x, oral s*x (m receiving) )

inspired by: ill take you on by brockhampton 

For your whole childhood, as long as you could remember, you wanted to be a veterinarian. You had loved animals, and couldn’t imagine a better way to spend your days than caring for them. But, as you grew up and the harsh realities of adulthood and capitalism dawned upon you, your dream was becoming less likely. 

Vet school was way over you and your mom’s budget. It was just the two of you, and she wasn’t exactly bringing in buckets of cash at her teaching job. So, you had to get a bit more realistic. 

After graduation college with a business degree, you set forth into the world hoping for a lifetime of amazing opportunities. But, a job didn’t come as easy as you’d hoped, and you were getting desperate. So desperate, in fact, that you called your estranged father begging for a job. 

Your father left your mom when you were nine. You didn’t care much, as he wasn’t around a lot anyways. He was some big shot lawyer in Miami, and he was always traveling for work. It was honestly easier on you and your mom once he left. He didn’t make much an effort to connect with you after that, only calling every few months and sending wads of cash on Holidays, hoping to make up for his absence. 

So, as you pushed aside your pride to call and ask for his help, it was really the least he could do. And lucky for you, his firm’s office manager had just quit. It didn’t sound like an incredibly difficult job and the pay was beyond what you wanted. Your father was most likely overcompensating with the salary. But he could afford it. 

He also promised you a place to live, rent free. He owned multiple properties around the city, most of which he never used. It was kind of the perfect situation. A little suspiciously perfect. 

But there were no other options. You needed a job and he desperately needed to feel like he wasn’t the worst father in the world. It was a win-win for both of you. 

And obviously, Miami wasn’t the worst place you could be. You didn’t know anyone besides your father, but you didn’t care. The idea of relaxing on a beach alone soothed you way more than a group of screaming drunk girls. 

After a week of settling into your apartment and the city, it was finally time to start your new job. You had met up with your father multiple times already, getting prepared for the job and visiting a few of his favorite spots around the city. He was actually really kind, but it was slightly uncomfortable talking to him.

You walked into his office on your first day, shaking in nerves as you prepared to meet your new coworkers. Would they treat you kindly, or did they catch up on the obvious nepotism that was lingering through this entire situation? 

But your fears were quickly buried over as his staff welcomed you with open arms, talking highly of you and about how “proud” your father was to have you working here. You rolled your eyes at his obvious attempt to show a warmer side to his staff, but you let it slide. You had a job and place to live because of him, so it was the least you could do. 

You spent the morning learning the phone and computer system, battling intrusive questions from everyone in the office and trying to learn how to work the damn coffee machine. But all in all, it wasn’t a bad job. 

You never really knew what kind of law your father practiced, and maybe that was something you should’ve asked before, so you were a little less shocked. His clients were mega rich and famous. And your father was just mega rich. It kind of pissed you off, seeing how well he lived and how you and your mom never saw a penny of it. Part of you wanted to scream at him, break all the expensive glasses in his office and storm out. But what was the point? Caring about him was more energy than it was worth. 

Your father met with his clients throughout the day, and part of your job was welcoming them to the office, getting them something to drink, and telling your father when they arrive. And today, at 2:12 PM, twelve minutes late for his appointment, he walked in. 

“James Barnes. I’m here to see Henry,” he commanded, not bothering to look up from his cell phone and pay you an ounce of attention. 

“Of course. Can I get you anything to drink?” You asked kindly, trying to keep your voice from quivering. He stood towering over you, his large frame blocking the light above, casting a shadow over your desk. He was one of the most beautiful and intimidating people you’d ever seen. You felt like you were going to choke if he looked directly at you. 

But he didn’t. He walked cooly over to the sofa in the waiting area and sat down, mumbling “Scotch…”. 

You stood up and walked away quickly, desperately trying to catch your breath. You slipped quietly into your father's office, smiling as you closed the door behind you. 

“James Barnes is here. And he mentioned something about scotch, which I’m not sure if I’m authorized to give…” 

Your father chuckled and stood up, walking over to a small bar cart in his office and pouring two drinks. 

“Everyone calls him Bucky. He’s a good friend. Come on, i’ll introduce you.” 

You followed behind your father in a daze, not ready to face him, not ready for his eyes to meet yours. Your skin felt hot and the room was spinning as your head, his loud voice greeting your father in excitement. 

“Bucky! It’s been too long!” Your father yelled, handing him a drink and smiling sheepishly. 

“Yeah, I had to be in New York a bit longer than I thought,” he trailed off, taking a sip of his drink. You were hiding behind your father, hoping he would forget about you and you could sneak away without a word. But of course you wouldn’t get away that easily. 

“Bucky, I have to introduce you to my daughter. Today is her first day working here! (Y/N), come introduce yourself,” he instructed, turning towards you and ushering you in closer to Bucky. 

“(Y/N)...” he whispered, the sound of your name in his mouth making your whole body light up. You had never heard it sound so beautiful before. He reached his hand out towards you, and you grabbed it lightly. His hands were soft and cold, shocking your skin as he touched you. As you shook hands, he leaned towards you, the smell of mint and tobacco pouring from his skin. 

“Why don’t we head to your office, Henry,” he frowned, dropping your hand and turning towards your father. You brought your hand back to your side, confused and dizzy as you found your seat. 

“Can… can I get you anything, Henry?” You stuttered, realizing awkwardly that this was the first time you’d addressed him, and you didn’t say dad. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you, and you cleared your throat awkwardly. 

“Sorry, thought that would be more professional. Totally awkward, right?” You laughed, trying to ease the tension. You didn’t think your father would care if you called him Henry, but maybe he wanted you to play into the sweet daughter character at work. 

“No, sweetheart, this is actually a private meeting. I don’t want any interruptions, unless someone’s dead. Okay?” He said in a serious tone, pushing aside any awkwardness. He hadn’t said this with any other clients he’s seen today, so it gave you an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach. 

You turned towards Bucky, looking for some sign of a joke with him. But his face was carved of stone, his eyes locked on your father as if he expected Henry’s devout secrecy for any conversation they had. 

The two walked quietly into his office and shut the door, leaving the image of him to only exist in your mind. You were curious who exactly this beautiful  mystery was, so you did what you always did. Googled him. 

You searched for a while, under both of the names he went by. But nothing. You couldn’t find him anywhere. Nothing on Facebook, Linkedin was empty, Twitter and Instagram were farfetched. It was like he didn’t exist. You even unblocked your father on facebook to stalk his friends and see if he existed there, but nothing. He was a ghost. 

You got frustrated after a while, sitting back angrily in your chair, realizing you had three voicemails. Yikes, you were not very good at this job. 

You finished all your work quickly, hoping it would distract you from him.

 They spent the next two hours locked away in your fathers office, leaving you to wilt away in boredom. It only took about 30 minutes to catch up on calls and emails, and then all you could do was scroll aimlessly on your phone hoping someone would bother you. 

But everyone seemed very quiet here. Beyond the initial excitement of meeting you in the morning, everyone stayed at their desks all day, focused intently on their own work. It was one of the quietest offices you’d ever been in. Maybe they were just trying to show off on your first day, or trying not to bother you… but it was odd. 

At 4:15, your father loudly exited his office, Bucky following behind. He was smiling, something you hadn’t seen before. It was almost god-like, his perfect smile, radiating warmth and happiness. You wanted to be close to him again, missing the sweet smell of his lips…

“(Y/N), I have a request…” your father interrupted your daydreaming, making you jump as you stood up to help him. 

“What’s up?” You asked casually, refusing to take your eyes off Bucky. 

“Bucky and I are grabbing dinner tonight, and we’d love for you to join us,” he said quickly, Bucky finally turning towards you and meeting your glance. 

“You… want me to come?” You asked quietly, Bucky still staring at you. He smirked slightly as you spoke, but refused to break your gaze. 

“Well, Bucky would really love to get to know my daughter. You know how… proud I am of you. The light of my life!” He said, smiling intensely at you. You finally looked away from Bucky and towards your father as he spoke. 

It was disgusting, the way your father was obviously using a fake relationship with you to get in good with his clients and employees. But you would’ve done anything to see Bucky again. So you agreed reluctantly, wondering why a man like Bucky would care about his lawyer's daughter… 

“We’re going to a nice place so… dress up,” your father instructed, eyeing your clothes. You had noticed you were the least dressed up at the office. 

“Um… I don’t really have a nice dress…” you whispered quietly, wondering how “nice” you needed to dress…

Your father pulled out his wallet, handing you a thick black AmEx card. 

“I’ll have my driver take you downtown to some shops. Get whatever you want,” he instructed, pushing the card in your hand. 

You didn’t refuse, why would you? Free shopping spree and dinner with some hot mystery man sounded like your perfect day. 

You spent the next few hours in and out of shops, spending more money than your father most likely anticipated. But you needed a new wardrobe anyways, most of your old clothes were too warm to wear here. 

You picked out a gorgeous light blue silk dress and some strappy white heels to match. You were maybe a little ‘under’ dressed for dinner with your father, but all you could focus on was Bucky. You felt high whenever he crossed your mind, your body unable to focus on anything except the feel of his cool skin touching yours.

By the time you were done shopping, it was almost time to meet them at dinner. The driver promised to bring the rest of your bags home and drop you right off at the restaurant. It was all the way across town, and you’d most likely still be late even if you left now. So you hopped in the car quickly, your new outfit looking perfect. 

The drive to the restaurant took just as long as the driver said it would- maybe even longer. You were getting impatient as the time went by, wondering if he was thinking about you the way you were thinking of him. 

It was unlikely. You still weren’t sure who exactly he was, but you knew he didn’t spend his time with ordinary girls. 

But why did he want you to come to dinner? It was odd of him to take such an interest in you. None of your fathers other clients seemed to look twice in your direction. But then again, Bucky was the only one that required privacy. 

As you got lost in your thoughts, your mind tumbling through expectations and excitement, your driver pulled swiftly up to the front entrance of Paterro’s. 

Upon walking through the doors, you were taken aback by the overwhelming fanciness of this restaurant. Your father definitely undersold how nice it was. You felt slightly underdressed, but no one seemed to look twice at you. You were used to not turning heads, being able to walk through a crowd without notice. 

That changed when you got to your table. Your father wasn’t there, most likely in the bathroom or at the bar. It was just him, looking just as beautiful as you pictured he would. 

He wore a navy blue suit that hugged his skin tightly and left very little of his body up for imagination. As you walked towards him, his head lifted from the table and his eyes lingered towards your body. He gave you a soft smile, but he was obviously distracted by how much of you he was seeing. 

“Your… Henry ran to grab a few cigars for later…” he mumbled, standing up awkwardly and pulling out a chair for you. 

“Thank you…” you whispered, sitting shakily down in the chair as he pushed you in towards the table. 

You were in between Bucky and your father’s seat, but much closer to Bucky. Your father came back less than 30 seconds later, which was ideal, since you couldn’t think of a single word to say to Bucky. 

Your father greeted you kindly, a wide smile that read as ‘You better be good tonight.’ It clearly wasn’t normal for him to have guests attend his business dinners. He seemed just as put off as you did, but the two of you kept your thoughts to yourselves and made small talk. 

“This is one of my favorite restaurants, (Y/N),” your father smiled, handing you a menu to you. 

“I’m excited to be here. Thank you for having me,” you responded kindly. 

Bucky and your father started talking about business, leaving you to your own thoughts as you scoured the menu. The prices were insane, but obviously you weren’t footing the bill. You had half a mind to order the most expensive thing on the menu, for the hell of it, but you settled on a nice glass of red wine and pasta. 

You weren’t included in much of the conversation, wondering why exactly you were invited in the first place. It seemed that the two of them barely even knew you were there. You sipped at your wine angrily, wondering how you could get Bucky’s attention. 

It was then when you decided to make one of the riskiest decisions of your entire life. But, high risk, high reward, right? 

Bucky cracked a joke with your father, and you laughed loudly and girlishly, forcing him to draw his eyes towards you. You then gently placed your hand on his knee, dragging your fingertips on his thigh lightly as you smiled at him. For a second, you forgot your father was even there, lost in the delight of finally having your hands on Bucky. 

But you quickly drew your hand back, afraid of how far you’d go if you didn’t stop. Luckily your father didn’t seem to notice, or care. But Bucky did. 

In fact, he was glaring at you. His fists were clenched on the table, his breath shaky and his stared. His face started to relax and he looked away, a slight smirk on his face as he grabbed his drink and gulped it. 

“I have to run and make a quick phone call,” Bucky said abruptly, not waiting for a response before leaving the table. 

You turned awkwardly to your father, not sure what to say to him at this moment. Thankful for you, he clearly felt the same, and buried himself in his phone. That was the nice thing about your father, he never forced you to talk. 

Bucky was back quicker than you’d expected, looking relieved as he sat down. 

“Sorry about that,” he smiled, clearing his throat. “Where were we?” 

The three of you started chatting again, a feat that only lasted about five minutes, before another interruption. Your father’s phone started ringing loudly, much to your embarrassment. 

“One sec,” he whispered, jumping out of his chair and answering in a rush. 

Your heart dropped as you realized you were alone with him for the first time. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him after you nearly groped him under the table. You felt a lump in your throat as you stared intently at your fathers empty chair. 

“Do you wanna talk about what the hell you’re doing?” Bucky growled at you, making you finally turn your head and face him head on. 

“I don’t know what you mean…” you whispered innocently. 

“Oh, shut the hell up. I’m not gonna fall for your sweet girl act. Your father might, but I see right through it…” He snickered, taking a large sip from his third drink of the evening. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you, James.” You could see him cringe at the sound of that name. You couldn’t help but to get under his skin. Something about him so angry made it hotter. 

“Listen, if you wanna fuck me, just say it. I’m not here for all these little games.” 

“You truly think every girl in the entire universe wants to have sex with you? Seems like somebody has a little ego problem,” you retorted, rolling your eyes and looking away. 

“Oh, baby,” he laughed, touching your cheek lightly with his thumb. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t get under this table and suck my cock if you could?” 

The thought of your mouth around him made you quiver, which was very evident to Bucky. He laughed coyly, before tightly gripping your chin. He brushed his thumb lightly over your lips, your body aching at his touch. 

He dropped his hand quickly as your father approached the table, looking distraught. 

“I���m so sorry guys... My client just called, major emergency. I’m gonna have to run… Bucky, can you make sure (Y/N) get’s home safe? I’m gonna have to take my car…” 

Bucky chuckled quietly and nodded at your father, enjoying the obvious win. 

“I’ll take good care of her, man.”

Your father thanked Bucky, throwing his credit card to you for dinner and running off in a hurry. You felt sick to your stomach, all the red wine dancing around in your body. You felt Bucky’s hand on your thigh, rubbing circles on your skin. 

“You ready to go?” He winked, tilting his head for an answer. You could only nod, unable to think of any words to say. 

Bucky tossed three one-hundred dollar bills down on the table, taking them from a large wad of cash hidden in his jacket. You felt dizzy at the sight of all the money, wondering where it could possibly be coming from. 

The valet pulled Bucky’s car around, which was obviously something beautiful and fancy and nauseatingly expensive. He opened the passenger door for you, helping you up into the seat. He leaned towards you after you were sitting, pulling your face to his. He kissed you intensely, not giving you a second to think, or breathe. You melted into him, allowing his body to do whatever he wanted. 

But he quickly broke away, closing the door and getting in the driver seat. He didn’t speak to you the rest of the ride, just casually glancing in your direction every few minutes. You wondered if you should tell him where you lived, or if he already knew. But you quickly realized you weren’t going home.

You pulled up to a large white house on the beach. The gates opened promptly as you arrived. They closed quickly behind you, making you finally realize the intensity of the situation. You were here now, locked inside, with a complete stranger. A very, very hot stranger. 

Bucky opened the door for you, clearly picking up your awe at the size of the house. 

“I’m just renting it. I don’t usually stay in one place too long…” he explained, a hint of sadness in his voice. 

“What exactly do you do?” You asked, instantly regretting it as you noticed the distaste in his voice. 

“You don’t need to know that, yet,” he snapped, emphasizing the word ‘yet’. What the hell did that mean? 

He ushered you through the front door, offering you a glass of wine as you entered. You accepted happily, staring at his wide wine collection that was much nicer than the box sitting in your fridge. 

You sat down on his couch, sinking into the soft cushions, realizing just then how tipsy you were. As he walked back towards you with your drinks, you felt a wave of excitement and spontaneity wash over you. Fuck wine, man. The worst and horniest decisions you ever made were because of wine. 

Bucky set your drinks done and you didn’t waste any time. You jumped up towards him, pushing your lips onto his and dragging your hands down his body. He didn’t fight you, unbuckling his pants quickly. He began kissing your neck, pulling down the straps of your dress. You hadn’t worn a bra, giving his lips easy access to your breasts. He sucked your nipples lightly, grazing his teeth. 

You pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a perfectly sculpted body that at this point, you had expected. You brought your hand down to his dick, already hard and poking out through his boxers. You pushed him off of you as you got down to your knees, removing his boxers and taking his length into your mouth. 

You flicked your tongue across his tip, making him shake under you. He grabbed the back of your head and pushed himself deeper into you, hitting the back of your throat. He moved in and out of your mouth, his hand holding your hair out of the way. 

Finally he pulled out of your mouth, beckoning you to stand up. You did as you were told, getting off your knees and following him to the catch. He sat down and dragged you onto his lap, feeling his cock under you. He kissed you for a while, but you never got bored. You could’ve kissed him forever. 

But you felt him twitching beneath you, begging to be inside. You positioned him to your opening and slid down gently, adjusting to his size. He moaned slightly, throwing his head back as he went in. 

“Don’t move for a second…” he commanded, sitting up and taking your face. He was inside of you, not moving, just holding you. 

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” he whispered, the scotch spilling from his breath. He didn’t give you time to respond before he grabbed your hips and began to rock you on him.

You let him move you for a few minutes before you started moving yourself. You felt the overwhelming rush of pleasure take over as you got close to cumming, speeding up your motions. 

“Shit…” you squealed, riding out your high as he kissed your neck. 

“Keep going… I wanna cum inside you…” He whispered into your ear, his lips tickling your jaw. 

You kept grinding your hips, moving faster as he got closer. He gripped onto your hips, digging his nails into your skin as you felt him twitch. You felt him fill you up with warmth, claiming you as his in that moment. The ultimate trophy of male dominance. 

You felt sick to your stomach after you got off, feeling him drip down your thighs as you rolled to the other side of the couch. The fun of the wine had worn off into an annoying headache, and you were dreadfully thirsty.

For some reason, you wondered if you had dreamed the whole thing, before you looked over and saw a naked Bucky, staring blissfully at you. 

“Can I get you anything?” He asked, kindly. 

“Water.” 

He smiled graciously, standing up and putting his boxers on. He walked down a hallway, presumably to the kitchen, and your fight or flight kicked in. You quickly grabbed your shoes and bag, bolting out the front door, unable to face him. 

You were greeted by the fresh air, happy to be back in the realm of normalcy. And then you remembered. The gate. 

“Fuck…” you exclaimed, dropping your shoes on the pavement. 

“I’ll take you home.” You heard, seeing an uncomfortable Bucky standing in the doorway. 

You got back in his car, staying uncomfortably silent as he started the engine and opened the gate. 

“Do you regret it?” He asked. His voice snapped through the quiet like a whip. It made you jump. 

“No. I don’t.” You answered. It was the truth. 

“Good. We’ll talk soon, then.” 

He dropped you off without another word, and you realized you never actually gave him your address. 

Who the hell was James Barnes? 

[marvelslut16]

Inseparable

Pairing: Reggie Mantle x reader

Synopsis: Reader and Reggie have been best friends since they were toddlers, nothing tearing them apart until Veronica their Junior year. This follows the rise and downfall of their friendship. Can they mend their friendship and be back to what they once were, will they be too hurt to fix their broken hearts, or will they finally admit their feelings for one another?

Word count: 2.6K+ (my hand slipped)

Warnings: Mr. Honey; he’s the worst villain to ever enter Riverdale, you can’t change my mind. Mentions of child abuse, nothing graphic past the mention of a black eye. Some angst. Spoilers for s4e4 technically, I still can’t believe what Mr. Honey did. 

A/N: I have like 11 requests I still have to get to, yikes. I swear I’ll do them soon, but inspiration hit and I ended up writing this. there isn’t enough Reggie love on Tumblr, plus I have a tiny crush on Charles Melton, so writing this was a win win. let me know what you think, and if I should write more for Riverdale. Veggie is better than Varchie (don’t come for me), but I still think Reggie deserves better than Ronnie. 

Growing up in a small town like Riverdale there weren’t too many kids to become friends with, but when you met Reggie Mantle on your first day of preschool you knew he would be your best friend for life. Archie was showing off on the playground by walking up the slide when the teacher wasn’t looking. The problem then being that Archie's foot slipped right as you were walking passed the bottom of the slide, and he slid down and ended up knocking you on the ground. You started to cry because he scraped your arm bad enough that it started to bleed. Reggie, whom you shared a table with in class, watched from the sidelines as your teacher helped you up and took you to the nurse, he got his revenge during arts and crafts later that day- ‘accidentally’ spilling red paint all over the front of Archie’s khaki pants. When Reggie made it to the table you quietly thanked him and shared your paint with him since the teacher said he couldn’t have new paint as a lesson to be more careful next time. 

As the years went on, yours and Reggie’s friendship only grew until you were inseparable; you two went on family vacations together, you went to every single one of his junior bulldog football games from the ages of eight to twelve, he went to your ballet recitals when you took classes in grade school even bringing you roses. Reggie was your rock at your grandmother’s funeral, you helped him pass his geometry class Sophomore year so he could stay on the football team, and you were the only person that he opened up to about his father’s abuse- having witnessed it with your own eyes a handful of times. 

Your mom was convinced you and Reggie would fall in love and get married one day, and your father was convinced your friendship would crumble and ultimately go down in a blazing fire. Going into your senior year you hate to admit that your father was right, his words bouncing around in your skull every time your brain shut off for longer than two seconds. Veronica Lodge moved to town Sophomore year, enticing every boy within a fifty mile radius with her upper East side charm. Reggie didn’t fall for Veronica right away, he fell for her junior year when he was helping her with La Bonne Nuit. And as cliche as it is, that’s when you realized you were in love with him, you had been for a while. The small nagging voice in the back of your head told you that it had been since that day in preschool. 

But you would grin and bear the pain, the soul crushing pain, if it meant that Reggie would still be in your life. And you did, for a while at least; until Reggie stopped calling and texting you back, until he stopped begging you to come to his games, until he stopped sneaking into your room every friday night after a game to go over the play footage where you would help him come up with new plays and tweaks to the old ones, until he started ignoring you in the halls in favor of making out with Veronica. You never hated the girl, she had been nothing but nice to you anytime you would interact, but God, you just wished she would disappear and give you your Reggie back. 

You resented Veronica, leading your interactions with the girl to be more tense and your answers clipped, and that was what led to the blazing fire your father talked about. Reggie offered you a ride home one day after school, and of course you jumped at the opportunity to spend time with him again. Instead of going to pops and talking like you thought you would, the two of you got into your biggest, and last, fight ever. 

It started with Reggie asking why you hated Veronica, where you defended yourself and swore that you didn’t. But he wouldn’t believe a word that came out of your mouth, continuing to press you as you two kept driving. The closer you got to the edge of town the worse the fighting got, your voice raising along with his. You accuse him of abandoning his friends, abandoning you, to be with Veronica all the time. He gets mad that you don’t understand why he’s with her all the time, claiming that you couldn’t understand not when you’ve never had a boyfriend. Something that he’s the reason for, since he scared all of the guys even remotely interested in you away with just one piercing glare or one lowly growled threat. 

The comment picking on your relationship status, or lack thereof, is the straw that broke the camel's back. You let loose just as you pass the sign thanking you for visiting Riverdale, the town with pep. Pep your ass, the small town is full of death and endless heartache wherever you look. You rip into Reggie, letting the hurt take over as you scream and scream at him-calling him a terrible friend. He finally screams back, claiming that you’re worse because you hate his girlfriend. He has to pull his precious car over, the car you helped him pick out when he turned sixteen, because he started swerving when you two got into a screaming match. 

The interaction ends with you getting out of the car on the side of the road leading into Greendale, slamming the car door behind you, knowing that he’ll get mad with how aggressive you’re being with his baby, his Bella. He does a sharp U-turn driving beside you, trying to coax you into getting back in the car with him. But you can’t do that, you can’t face him right now. So as you watch the taillights of the gun metal grey Chevelle disappear around the curve in the road you finally let the tears fall down your face, they stream harder and faster the closer you get to reentering the town with pep. 

Reggie had dropped your backpack off at your house when he got back into town, so it was sitting there waiting for you in your living room alongside your worried mother. You cried into her arms that night for hours, until you were all cried out, not caring that you look like a big baby. You had just lost Reggie, you had just lost your everything. You hadn’t talked to him since that day in the middle of your junior year, even after him and Veronica broke up and she went back to Archie like always. The days of your senior year seemed to fly by, October coming in what felt like mere days as opposed to months, and your last Halloween in Riverdale is today. 

You and Reggie would always wear matching costumes to trick or treat, and school just for fun as you got older, this always prompted your classmates to wonder if you two were finally dating. But that wouldn’t be happening this year, for the first time ever. You had even dressed up and sat on his porch in costume when you were six, handing out candy to the other kids so you could talk to Reggie, who was in costume too, through the window because he was sick with a 102.2 degree fever. You were dressed as Kim and Ron that year, his mom had even crocheted him a little Rufus to stick in his pocket. You couldn’t wait to get out of this town, away from Reggie, away from the places where you would see ghosts of your younger selves everywhere you went. 

Kevin calls you freaking out after he and Reggie got caught tp’ing Mr. Honey’s office. Kevin caved after Mr. Honey threatened to make sure he wouldn’t get into NYU if he didn’t. Kevin felt guilty for his actions, and even though you hadn’t talked to Reggie in close to a year you were worried about him. Worried what his dad might do to him when he hears he got in trouble at school again, and worried what the unhinged Mr. Honey might do to him himself. 

You don’t hear anything from Reggie the next day, not that you really expect to. You more-so hope he’ll call you, but you know what they say about hope- it breeds eternal misery. The day goes by at a snail's pace as you stare at your phone throughout the entirety of said day. You finally curl in on yourself and go to sleep after midnight, however sleep doesn’t stay for long. You’re awoken around two in the morning from your phone’s incessant ringing, in your dazed stupor you don’t realize it’s Reggie’s special ringtone- the bulldog cheer from Kim Possible. 

“Hello?” you ask hoarsely, making sure to stay quiet so your parents won’t hear. 

“(Y/N/N), can you talk?” your startled to hear Reggie’s voice on the other line. It sounds scratchy, like he was recently in a screaming match with someone. You open your eyes for the first time, finally accepting that you won’t be able to just roll over and slip back into your dreams. You glance at the alarm clock on your bedside table and your eyes widen at the time.

“It’s like two in the morning Reg,” you sigh, hoping he’ll wait till morning. 

“Can I come over?” Reggie’s pleading now.

“Later, we can go to Pop’s for lunch or something,” you yawn loudly into the phone in protest. 

“I’m already here,” before you can respond the line goes dead.

You can hear quiet, almost not there, footsteps outside your window as Reggie expertly navigates his way through the flowers and bushes outside your window. He taps on the window three times in quick succession, your old signal for when he would sneak over letting you know it was him at your window. You reluctantly get out of your warm cozy bed, stumbling to the window to open it for your former best friend. 

Your plans for just slipping back into bed anf hopefully nodding off while he talks go out the window as you come face to face with Reggie’s swollen face. He has a split lip and a black eye, you’re sure he has belt marks on his back too. You don't care that Reggie is climbing through the window a little too loudly, your sole focus now on fixing him up. Once he’s in the room you sneak to the kitchen and quietly grab an ice pack, stopping in the bathroom to grab rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, and ibuprofen.  

You hand him the pain reliever and your bottle of water, it’s not the first time you’ve shared, as soon as you shut your bedroom door behind you. He swallows the pills down with ease, and you both settle on your bed, a sad depressing routine. You don’t say anything as you clean his split lip, he winces slightly when the alcohol drenched cotton ball makes contact with his open wound. 

“Mr. Honey caught Kevin and I last night,” Reggie admits quietly. 

“I heard, Kevin told me,” you murmur unsure of where this conversation is headed, so you continue to dab at his lip.

“Mr Honey, he said that no one takes me seriously, no one since you. He said that he heard around school that I made my ‘persona’ bigger, became more of a prankster, after I lost you. He-he knew about my dad, (Y/N),” Reggie’s voice cracks, you can’t imagine what he must be feeling right now. “Said people at school are laughing at me, worst of all, you’re laughing at me.”

“Oh sweetie, no!” you're quick to jump in and defend. “I would never laugh at you, you know that. Never. No one else is either, he was just saying that to get a rise out of you.” Your arm moves without your permission, you push a strand of black hair out of his eyes before caressing his cheek softly. 

“He tp’d my car, that I get. That was actually funny,” Reggie hisses, you aren’t sure if it’s because you’re lightly pressing the ice pack to his shiner or because of what he’s about to say next. “But he broke Bella’s windshield, shattered her passenger side window, and busted her left headlight.” 

“I’ll kill him!” you jump up from your spot on your bed, no longer caring if you wake your parents. Reggie holds the ice pack to his eye with his right hand, cautiously reaching for your hands with his left. You calm down when his fingers intertwine with yours, sinking back down next to him. 

“I avoided going home all day, but when I did and my dad saw the car,” Reggie takes in a shaky breath, and you rub the back of his hand with your thumb. “He did, well he did this.” He uses your joined hands to gesture towards his face. 

You don’t say anything, instead just pulling him in for a hug. Reggie tenses at first before melting into your warm embrace. You pull him down onto the bed with you so you're laying side by side, he rests his head on your chest as you tuck the two of you in. 

“I know we haven’t talked in a while,” you let out dissatisfied hum as you card your fingers soothingly through his hair. “But you're the only person I wanted to see, the only person I ever want to see. It’s been torture without you (Y/N).”

“It doesn’t seem like it,” you say under your breath, but he hears you clearly with his ear pressed to your chest. 

“I was an idiot, I let my ego keep me from you,” he moves his head to look up at you, his brown eyes shine with sincerity. 

“Don’t do this right now Reggie,: your eyes fill with tears, “Don’t do or say anything you don’t mean just to make me feel better.”

Reggie moves his right arm from around your waist to brush away a stray tear that slipped out of your eye. He moves his thumb down your cheek to your lips, tracing them with the pad of his thumb. Reggie lightly tugs down on your lower lip causing you to uncage it from your teeth, when did you even bite it in the first place? 

“I love you (Y/N), I always have,” he looks away from your mouth so he can stare into your eyes. “And I think you have too.”

“I have, I love you so much Reggie,” he pulls your face down to meet him. The kiss is searing, and a little wet due to the tears leaking out of both of your eyes, but it’s perfect. You pull back when you get the slightly tangy taste of blood on your tongue. You immediately fuss over Reggie’s lip, said lip splitting again during the makeout. Reggie pulls you back down onto the bed and into his arms after you’ve dabbed at his lip with the cotton ball again. 

“How can I make it up to you?” his eyes shine with unshed tears as he stares lovingly at your face, almost like he’s mesmerized by you. “Not just tonight, but leaving you for Ronnie so I could try to get over you, and for every other night you’ve taken care of me.”

“Just never leave me again,” you whimper, which is cut off when he kisses you again. 

“Never,” Reggie’s never been more serious about anything in his life. 

You cuddle up to Reggie’s chest, his warmth and scent quickly lulling you into  a deep comforting sleep. You don’t care that he should sneak out the window and go home, or that your mom will find you two cuddled up in your twisted sheets when she comes to check on you at ten. All you care about is Reggie being safe, in your arms, and finally having him back in your life-but with one vast improvement to your relationship.

Permenent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always​

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Truth

Warning: Spoilers and intense emotions. You have been warned.

So that's how you fix a broken miraculous. And once it's fixed, Duusu seems to be better and felt that she was living a nightmare. Okay, we see.

I never spoke about ShadowMoth's costume. It's okay. I just don't like how powerful he is now.

I guess since the Kwamis were never out of the Miracle Box, they don't know how to behave in the human world. Its funny to see how they behaved, but I also feel bad for Marinette who looked like a crazy person trying to get the kwamis under control.

Also, the Miracle Box reflects Marinette. Does that mean that Marinette is spontaneous or that she is willing to let the Kwamis out of the Miracle Box? I say its both.

Also, how did the writers let Marinette forget that the Kwamis live in their magical world??? (Did they forget about "Sandboy"???) Also, didn't Master Fu or Tikki ever tell her about the whole kwamis and technology thing??? Is Adrien the only one that knows??? Or do I have amnesia?

The girls thought Adrien was at her place??? Did anyone even tell them about the whole Adrien and Kagami thing? Or is that why they are shocked???

The goat kwami apparently did not know about the technology thing and called photos paintings. I get it though: photos are like paintings.

And they sent a photo of Adrien to Luka. Oh boy *facepalms*

...and when Marinette answers Luka's call (made by the goat kwami whose name I cannot recall), she mistakes him for Adrien. I wonder how long this will last (if it even lasts)

Being a guardian means many responsibilities... and forgetting many things, including having a date with Luka. I feel bad for both of them, especially since the date was yesterday. YESTERDAY! Also, forgetting what they were going to be doing and what they will see in the movies

I love Lukanette's chemistry (even though I am a Love Square stan as you all know). Their guessing game on the way to the movies was adorable and in line with couple goals.

The necklace as a gift theory was right! We did it peoples!

Marinette screaming the answer "Kiss me" was a whole mood. And so is the staring thing.

WE/I WERE/WAS RIGHT THAT THEIR KISS WOULD BE INTERRUPTED!!! AND THAT IT WAS AN AKUMA!!! Take it as you will, although they were both passed that there kiss was interrupted.

Ladybug yeeting Chat Noir off the roof only to pull him back, break an office window, Chat smiling about it, and Ladybug enjoying this moment while simultaneously being concerned is what I live for! My Ladynoir heart is satisfied.

IT IS CANNON THAT THEY HAVE PATROLS. Although, it was cannon ever since the IG accounts existed.

ShadowMoth and all these sentimonsters is bananas. How do Marinette and Adrien handle this????

Well, we know for Marinette is the excuses that sometimes make no sense. And the fact that we see Luka become more upset with the more excuses she makes hurts, to the point that he mentioned it at the performance.

LUKA HAS A CHARACTER PEOPLES! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

He had no idea who his father is and his mom would not tell him. This is why he has some form of trust issues and why he is very hurt when Marinette would not tell him anything (because that would mean that she has to tell him she's Ladybug and that could mean the end of the world).

Side note: He is still aware that she still likes Adrien.

Luka resisting the akuma and amok because he still trusts Marinette hurts and shows that they have a healthy relationship (or as healthy as it could be when your girlfriend is a superhero and cannot tell you). Also, how he tells Marinette to run before succumbing to ShadowMoth shows how much he really cares about her. Luka I owe you an apology

Love how everyone in Paris thinks that Marinette's secret is that she loves Adrien. Marinette, you got them all fooled. But if this is the case, then that means Adrien is really dense.

Truth spots his mom and gets her to say who his father is...

ITS BEEN JAGGED STONE ALL ALONG!!! WE WERE RIGHT PEOPLES! OUR HEADCANNONS BECAME CANNON BECAUSE WE ARE GENIUSES!!!

My first thought was "Holy chiz, we were right! We were freaking right!" I had to pause for a miniature victory dance.

Miniature victory dance break!

Anyways, he goes to Jagged Stone not before ShadowMoth yells at him and Truth yells back that he always tells the truth. Man this all hurts so much seeing Jagged's absence having an effect in Luka's thoughts about honesty.

Chat Noir saving Ladybug from saying who she is, giving her the oxygen mask, and saying how he won't force her to tell the identity is wholesome.

Luka is understandably angry at Jagged for leaving him and his mom as Truth. Understandable. I also get Jagged's perspective of the fears of being a horrible parent. But once you are a parent, you have to stay unless you are a danger to children. Jagged is not a danger to children and he should have stayed. Just saying.

People are being yeeted left to right in this episode like wha???

Now Truth heads for Marinette's house and attacks her parents. They also think her secret is about Adrien lol.

I love Tom. Even under the spell, he was willing to make sure Truth does not go up to her room. Too bad that wasn't enough though.

Just as he was about to open the place with the Miracle Box, they catch him! Now, the showdown starts.

Ladybug loves Chat's confidence, courage, and SENSE OF HUMOR!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

Ladybug and Chat saving each other from revealing their secret identities is just wholesome!

It sucks being in a room that belongs to your soon to be ex (Note: Marinette is not his ex yet, so do not say ex until a certain point). And with photos of the one she loves. Yikes.

Ladybug and Chat's conversation is wholesome. They are safe in each other's company because they trust each other and such. And they like each other's company. But they will catch ShadowMoth no matter what his name has changed to.

Also, Adrien must have had a hard time in his civilian life to be excited about fighting akumas and sentimonsters. I mean why am I surprised this is the same guy that is excited about throwing himself to death get this kid some dang therapy!

The Lukanette break up. So they are taking a break because Marinette wants to be honest to Luka, but cannot be honest for now. Luka takes this surprisingly well and says that he will be waiting while Marinette is the one that appears to be hurt the most. It hurts me

Luka and Jagged Stone collab! I can't wait for it!!! Glad that Jagged and Luka will slowly bur surely mend their relationship.

It hurts me knowing that Marinette can't be with anyone as long as she is Ladybug (or at least until ShadowMoth is defeated) because of the responsibilities and secrets she holds. She is afraid that she is a danger to others and being a danger to others means that they are a danger to Ladybug and Chat Noir and that means the end of the world! My precious bean is 15/16 and she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and this is the first step to her eventual breakdown from the Gloob trailer. Like, can we not hurt Marinette FOR FIVE GOSH DARN MINUTES???????

At least being a guardian has some perks, like having all the Kwamis giving you a hug in exchange for the world on your shoulders. Glad that the kwamis are being understanding to this extent.

Also, can I have kwamis to hug me when I am sad/stressed??? Especially since I am going to college

Overall, this is a very heavy first episode and I am here for it! Luka has a backstory independent of Marinette and a lot of our headcannons are confirmed! Also, Ladynoir are very much alive in their platonic banter and I am here for it even if the rest of the Love Square is somewhat dead.

I have my two cents on Lukanette and that is even as a Love Square stan, they deserve better, at least for half the season, and allow Luka to heal, and Marinette to focus on herself and being a guardian.

I sort of see the impact of Chat Blanc in this episode, but I am not a very emotional person when it comes to watching TV and even though it did not make me cry, it was still emotionally heavy for me, so take it as you will.

Anyways, we are back on track my peoples and I will add on to this post once the English Dub comes to light. See you all soon!

[binch-i-might-be]

this was supposed to be multiple OCs but it turned out to be just Colin. typical lmao

ok so, let me explain how this came to be in the first place: it started out with my boy Chris Rider. he was one of the main characters in a project I started around 2013 and wrote throughout 2014 and a bit into 2015 even!

back then, I knew very little about his family; I knew he had an older brother, a father who was chaos incarnate, and a sort of aunt, who was just his dad’s best friends. yes, they were way too close, why do you ask :)

but. things changed. you will see ;)

Colin Rider

look at this asshole. I love him so much :’)

alrighty, in the main storyline, which takes place around 2005 in Berlin, he’s 43 years of age! 

homeboy is a very successful homicide cop (but just to be clear, he used to throw rocks at cops when he was a teenager <3)

very sex positive! unfortunately his relationship to sex is so incredibly unhealthy! stop it! get some help!

queer disaster. he identifies as bisexual and and he’s sort of kind of poly? he just wasn’t interested in monogamy for a very long time; and he’ll say he’s just a dude when asked, but really he’s a very specific flavour of genderqueer he hasn’t examined any closer since he saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show when he was off his tits high back in the late 70s

got arrested a lot back in the 70s for wearing skirts out in public. icon <3

he used to self harm for a very long time (early teens into early twenties) and only stopped when he became a father. he just. he couldn't leave those poor kids alone. he knows all too well how that feels

has a couple s*icide attempts under his belt

chain smoker. started when he was 13 and hasn't stopped since

too many children. (three, to be exact (that we know of lmao) and they are all disasters. we stan)

hardcore feminist

can, will, and has punched all kinds of bigots and keeps getting suspended from work for it

WILL fight you and WILL win. don’t even try bestie

ok, let’s get into the complicated origins of this fool: he’s mixed race! his, uh, birthgiver I suppose, was from an undisclosed country in the middle east, and his father from Wales! you wouldn’t realise when you look at him tho, he looks very middle eastern (black hair, hazel/brown eyes, brown skin) but he will absolutely make fun of anyone who assumes he’s actually from there, because motherfucker has the most british name on the planet

he speaks four languages! in the order he learned them in: english, welsh, russian, and german. which is very odd, considering he grew up in Stuttgart, which is very much a german city

genius level IQ but nonetheless the dumbest bitch you will ever meet

oh btw in the main timeline he has a boyfriend! his name is Steve, and he’s a “retired” emergency room doctor who had a massive burnout and flipped his career to become a coroner instead. it’s a lot less stressful when the fuckers are already dead, after all :)

Colin and he have a broad spectrum of corpse-related inside jokes because they’re both fucking weirdos who spend a lot of their time looking at dead bodies every day

his three kids are split between two women: the first one was a much beloathed acquaintance he had a drunken hatefuck with when he was 16 (she was 20 which is yikes but a common pattern with this idiot <3) and he only found out about his daughter four years later, when the woman’s bf finally realised the kid wasn’t his and refused to pay child support

the second was a girl called Selena, they were never officially a couple even though everyone just kind of assumed they were? they weren’t exclusive to each other, in any case. it was more like,,,, two roommates who vaguely dislike each other but make out on occasion and accidentally had two children between them because they’re idiots and like to ruin each other’s lives

anyway they split when she got pregnant by another dude and she kinda just dipped lmao. their sons were 13 and 6 when they separated, and this emotionally stunted, traumatised fool was left alone with them. amazing

he tries really hard. he does. he wants to be enough for his children. it’s a struggle

his father (the man who raised him, not the man who sired him. technically speaking, this would have been his grandfather, but he doesn’t know that) was a depressed and deeply traumatised WW2 vet who suffered from severe PTSD and alcoholism

dude had only half a face and one functioning eye due to an unfortunate incident involving a landmine

he was a trained opera singer and also a shakespeare actor! and he was very talented on the violin :) Colin learned a lot of singing techniques from him, and he can still recite a couple shakespeare monologues from memory (they were what his father recited when he was having panic attacks)

oh yee Colin plays guitar and sings but he pretends he doesn’t. he’s really good and he isn’t like, shy about it, but he won’t believe you when you tell him it’s good. nothing about him is good.

anyway Colin’s father (his name was Joseph Christopher Rider btw) committed unalive when Colin was fifteen. on the sofa in the middle of the living room. with his old army gun :)

Colin walked in on the aftermath. that’s how he ended up in Berlin! he grabbed his best friend, got on a train, and repressed everything that happened the past few days :)

his best friend’s name is Ann (actually her name is Anne-Marie, but they met when Colin was around 13 and she was 14, and he still couldn’t speak german back then, so he pronounced it as Ann-Mary, and this man never uses anyone’s full name, so it got shortened to Ann. she started introducing herself as that soon after :)) and they are very close (read: codependent)

ok I’ll stop now. there’s so much more, but I feel like I can always add that later. if anyone has questions, feel free to send an ask :))

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy season 17×7 review

...... I, please can someone sedate me.

I never expected this in a million years. I thought after last season the main character death was spared.

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Deluca (Rip)

The shocker of the night. They were just playing with my emotions the whole night. The whole time he was stalking the red headed woman I was on the edge of my seat. I was so scared how he was moving so rash with everything my mind was all over the place. First I thought they were going to get caught. Then when the police and the rest of the Station 19 brigade showed up in time to catch her I was relieved. I almost thought the worst was over until I realized he was stabbed, then I was nervous but at the same time it wasn't a major concern for me, I just thought he was going to join Meredith on the beach and tell her to wake up and all would be right with the world again and after he was taken into surgery, for a few precious moments, all WAS right with the world then it all went bad he started crashing but the hope was still there because Jo's patient was also crashing and when she died I figured they couldn't kill two people just like that right? RIGHT? well I was wrong. The moment when his mother appeared on the beach and he said he had to go then it was when it really hit me that he was actually going to die well that and the sand castle being destroyed part.

The only thing that saved it was that at least he died knowing that he stopped that red headed brute and saved a lot of kids in the process so he didn't actually die for nothing. But even so his death still hit me hard I sat in shock for a good few minutes after the episode. They made him an attending, get help with his mania episodes and begin the path of being an excellent doctor just to kill him off.

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Carina

They finally cashed in that regulars card for more Carina screen time but not the way I hoped. She and Deluca were very close so I know that his death will hit her hard but at least Maya has been there for her every step of the way and I know that she will be there to help Carina through it.

___________________________________________

Jo

Became very invested in her parent and her baby, she got so passionate about it and worked hard to advocate for her patient to see her baby, even though she had to get rough with her superior it's a shame it was all in vain and the mother died before she could even see her baby. (Grey's was just playing with my emotions all night.) I have a feeling Jo will be adopting the baby soon enough. The father signed away the rights and her mother is dead. Plus they've been going down the Jo and babies route for a long time now, with the being a safe haven and then the switching specialities talk it all was for something and she was very invested with the mother and baby from the beginning.

___________________________________________

Teddy/Owen/Tom

The love triangle continues to this day. Tom told Teddy he's ready to move on and I really hope he is this time because she has been jumping ships too much. Someone had to sail away. Maybe Tom can find someone else to move on to, or something else to occupy his time with, something less painful. My hope isn't up too high because he's sung the same song before and was right back where he started.

Owen said he only called Teddy because he owed it to Deluca but I'm not buying it. He was very insistent on Teddy being there and the slight smile he gave her at the end of the surgery said otherwise as well, but he's angry which he very well should be so I guess we'll see what happens from here.

Teddy is still having a hard time both of the men she loved have rejected her which will hopefully give her some time to stop and think about what she actually wants. Shes having a rough time with everyone in the hospital and now that Tom has let her go.i just hope she can find comfort in someone or something else because I'm sure she's under a lot of steer right now.

___________________________________________

Maggie

Did t have much of a plot. But Winston is in Seattle and they made the most of it by spending most of the time in her hotel room until Jackson came to get her so they could let her know about Meredith. Yikes a tough choice there. But on the bright side at least now she has someone to be there for her through the whole Meredith situation. Usually Maggie is the support but now she can actually have someone to support her. I wish her the best of luck. May the Grey's relationship curse skip her and her new beau.

___________________________________________

Link and Amelia

Not much here today, Link was the usual supportive partner and good father although he's also panicking at the potential loss of Meredith and the 3 kids that would come with it which is understandable. Meanwhile Amelia was trying to figure out the best way to tell the kids about Meredith. She has come such a long way from the woman who brought Derek a guy with a tumor who she met on the plane.

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Nico and Levi

Are slowly but surely getting closer, I saw a little bit of pre jerk Nico, but he still has a long way to go. I'm hoping for a happy ending though.

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Jackson

Was not even carrying on the works of Mark Sloan this episode but did create so tension between him and Maggie's new boyfriend.

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Webber

Is just trying to hold the hospital together at this point.

___________________________________________

Bailey

Finally came down from her working after trauma obsession and got some much needed rest. Its adorable how she just slept by Meredith's bed the whole time and the way she immediately panicked and got up to check Meredith when Webber told her something happened was sweet. They've had their ups and downs but they're also always there for each other.

___________________________________________

Meredith

Is still on the beach. This time she spent it with Deluca I really hope she can leave that beach soon. The longer she's there the more nervous I become. Hopefully Derek can tell her go to hell home next week when he returns to the beach.

___________________________________________

The episode was a roller coaster ride, I really wasn't expecting Deluca to still die. I figured he was the one that they had planned to kill last year but it still hurt.

Questions of the night.

1. What's going to happen now with the trafficking ring? I know they got them but now they're also responsible for murder and I want an eye for an eye.

2. Will Meredith finally get her ass of that beach? It's been long enough.

3. Is Jo going to adopt her patient's baby?

4. How is Carina going to take the death of her baby brother who she practically raised?

[avengershumanresources]

blood 2 - Strange/Stark!Reader

Relationship: Dr. Strange/Princess!Stark!Reader

Rating: M

Warnings: Adult Themes, eventual smut (like, wayyy down the line), adult language, implied sexual violence, general violence

Synopsis: Reader is the daughter of the legendary King Anthony Stark, Uniter of Lands, The Iron Defender, and leader of the realm. When the king disappears during battle, hope is lost and he is presumed dead.

When the late king’s uncle, Obadiah, takes the throne until your brother Peter is of age, he quickly arranges a marriage for you with a wicked king in a neighboring kingdom.

With the realms politics in question, and rumors of an upcoming siege to overthrow Peter’s rule before it starts, you quickly learn who is loyal to the crown and who is not.

part 1 - part 3 

Masterlist

Chapter Playlist

2 - a night at the pub

You parted from Stephen the moment you saw Natalia and James in the crowd at the pub. They were sipping from large beer steins, listening to a bard sing a sorrowful song about the death of the great Iron Defender. 

When the music ended and the pub applauded, the entertainer switched to something more upbeat to soothe the mood.

“A bit sentimental for you two, isn’t it?” you asked, pulling back your cloak. Stephen had transfigured your overbearing mourning garb into something that would better fit in the village.

“How on earth did you slip out tonight?” James asked in surprise, brows raised to his hairline. “I would’ve though t they’d have had you under lock and key.”

“Everyone’s a bit... distracted, believe it or not,” you replied coolly, taking a seat at their table toward the back of the room. 

“So we hear,” Natalia leaned in. “Any news of the next king? I have a wager with the barkeep’s wife.”

“Anthony has an uncle who still lives,” Stephen supplied, taking a seat at your side. “Or so my companions informed me. Until Peter is of age, he would be the presumptive heir.”

“What do we know about him?” Natalia asked quietly, lowering her head conspiratorially. 

“Nothing,” you replied with a long sigh. “He’s been at the winter palace my whole life.”

“Nothing suspicious about that,” James shrugged and took a swallow of his drink. “Nat, what do ya think about Asgard this time of year?”

“Stop up James,” the redhead nudged her companion and returned her attention to you and Stephen. “And if he doesn’t give up the job in six months?” 

“He is removed,” Stephen replied bluntly.

“Yikes, you’re scary, did you know that?” James murmured. 

“I’ve been told,” the sorcerer grunted, flagging down a barmaid for a drink. He could already tell it was going to be a long night. 

“Don’t forget, you owe me,” you reminded him.  

“Lose a bet?” Natalia asked in amusement, eye rating between the duo.

“I caught him enchanting my tea without permission,” you replied. 

“Uh oh, broke the one rule,” Natalia mused, watching Strange for a reaction. 

“It was a protection spell, hardly worth mentioning, I cast them over the princess all the time,” he snorted under his breath. 

“All the time?” James asked in a voice low enough that only Stephen could hear. 

“That’s dangerous conjecture, Barnes,” Stephen warned. “My responsibilities include keeping my student, who happens to be the princess, safe.”

“If we were being honest, if I were kidnapped or traded away, it wouldn’t do much to the kingdom,” you reasoned, eagerly grabbing the first mug of ale before Stephen could take a sip. He waved a hand over the drink, ensuring it hadn’t been poisoned, before you took a long swallow. “Peter is the one who has to stay safe. Who knows where we’d be without a true heir?”

“You know that’s ridiculous,” Nat snorted. “Gods, you’re so dramatic sometimes.”

“My father’s funeral was today, give me a little sympathy,” you huffed in response, taking another swig of your drink. 

“To King Anthony,” James stood up, his voice bellowing through the pub. You ducked your head down into Stephen’s shoulder while onlookers cheered and joined in the toast. “May he rest in peace!”

The pub shouted in response, with steins clinking against one another and another song starting up. 

“We’re trying to draw attention away from the princess, you oaf,” Natalia muttered tersely toward James. 

“Who would be looking for her here?” the brunette assassin shrugged. “Besides, no one would be able to slip past the three of us.”

Stephen snorted under his breath, giving the room a quick glance to ensure any unwanted attention hadn’t been drawn toward them. James did have a point. Someone in hiding would seldom encourage a room to drink. 

Besides, he looked over at you laughing over something Natalia had said, you were genuinely smiling for the first time in weeks. The risk was worth a little relief.

He nursed at his drink while you signaled for another round for yourself and your friends. Stephen did well to avoid becoming drunk in your presence, mostly for your protection, but also as a means of avoiding embarrassing himself in front of you. 

The last thing he needed was you armed with an artillery of teasing that he couldn’t even recall.

As the booze flowed and the music picked up, James grabbed your hand and pulled you to the center of the room, dancing with some of the villagers to the upbeat song. 

Stephen watched, almost transfixed by the way you spun and twirled so lightheartedly to the sounds. As if you hadn’t a care in the world, and your life was back to the simpler time when he’d first met you.

“You’re drooling a little,” Natalia chuckled over his shoulder. 

Stephen’s head whipped around, unconsciously wiping at his mouth before scowling at the nosy redhead. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked, doing his best to keep his composure under her hard gaze. 

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed of,” she hummed, eyes falling where you and James continued your antics. “You’ve seen the man I’ve dedicated myself to.”

“You know the oaths I have to take,” he murmured. 

“Aren’t you the one in charge of said oaths?” she challenged coyly. “I’d never understood your antiquated ways. I would argue that loving another gives you more reason to stay dedicated to your craft.”

She had a point, Stephen reasoned to himself. The ways he’d worked to ensure your protection, the kingdom’s protection, and the advancement of his knowledge at your urging was beyond any work he’d done on his own at Kamar-Tai. 

Still, the distractions. The liabilities. 

By the Vishanti, if an enemy were to ever get their hands on you… oaths be damned. He’d burn the world to the ground to ensure your safety, and that was the problem.

“She’s going to marry a prince, and have kings and queens as babies,” Stephen replied coolly. "We have our roles and our duties.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind giving her a few babies,” Natalia smirked up at him, laughing when his face went as scarlet as her hair. 

“Regardless,” his voice cracked slightly, adding even more to the embarrassment when Natalia quirked a brow. “I would need permission from the king to consider breaking my oaths and wedding a princess.”

“Oh, you’d marry her? That’s a new development,” she replied, eyes falling behind him while you and James returned. 

“I’m going to need another ale,” you complained, staring down the empty mug after chugging down your second drink.

“You’re going to need to watch how much you drink,” Stephen replied. “Remember last time. The hungover elixir only works so well.”

“You have a hangover elixir?” James asked. “Gods, I’d murder a man for one of those. Maybe it’s time I go to Kamar-Taj. Find my true purpose.”

“Don’t look at me,” Stephen held up a hand. “Wong is the one who brews it. He claims it’s an old family recipe.”

“Might have to pay Master Wong a visit tonight,” James stated, sliding a pair of fresh ales toward you and Natalia. “This one’s on me.”

“Are you going to tell me which lord you stole the coin from?” you asked, sipping at the drink before Stephen could check its contents. 

“It’s the one with the wart on his nose,” James snickered behind his drink. “I picked him specifically because you mentioned he beats his wife.”

“He’s getting another visit from the Widow in a few nights,” Natalia added with a wicked grin.

“I don’t pity the man-,” you started coughing, trying to clear your throat. “-Ah, excuse me-!” 

Caught in a fit of coughs, Stephen’s focus became you. You couldn’t catch a breath, even when he tapped your back, and you hadn’t had anything to eat- the ale. A wave of his hand confirmed the liquid had been tampered with. 

“Find out who served that ale,” he demanded the assassins, grabbing your arm and hauling you outside of the pub. 

You gasped for air, clutching at your throat while he drew up a portal back to the observatory. If this was what was happening with the protection enchantment in your system, he hesitated to think of the alternative. 

Scooping you up, he stepped through and situated you on one of the chaise’s strewn throughout the room. 

He thumbed through his collection of vials before finding a generic antidote and opening your mouth to pour the liquid in. 

It worked- kind of. You were able to take a few shallow breaths, but your eyes rolled back and you collapsed, falling back against the chaise. 

This was literally his worse case scenario. Everything he’d been afraid of, because he’d let you convince him to go out, and because he’d distracted himself with his conversation with Natalia. 

He summoned a spell book, fingers finding the page he recalled from his apprentice days. It was written to purge someone of any toxic entities within them, be it poison or dark magic. Moving his hands through the air and reciting the runes, your body was overtaken by a wisp of winding yellow light. 

It threaded itself through you, eventually hitting the source of the poison in your chest and pulling the toxic liquid free in a cloud of rancid black smoke. That was peculiar. Generally such a reaction was associated with dark magic rather than a consumed poison. 

Poison was usually a dark red or green. 

You stirred the moment the spell had finished its work. Taking a deep breath and clearing your throat, you looked to Stephen in wide-eyed horror.

“I was wrong,” you stated, hand to your chest.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m not dying,” you answered quickly. “Stephen, I am so sorry… I underestimated my… wait, Peter.” 

Stephen understood your meaning immediately. He instructed you to stay within the safety of the observatory and opened a portal to the outside of the prince’s chambers. 

The knights on guard jumped at the sudden appearance of the sorcerer, who took no time for pleasantries.

“An attempt was made on the princess’ life,” he informed the duo. “Have you heard any disturbance from the prince?”

“No one has been in or out since the prince retired,” Sir Samuel informed him, looking to Sir Clinton with a shrug. “He hasn’t made a noise.”

Just as Samuel finished his sentence, there was a loud crash from within the room. 

The guards charged in, finding the prince in a struggle with a masked man. The prince was doing his best to fight off the dagger brandishing assassin, kicking him in the chest when he was distracted by the entrance of the guards.

When the assassin realized he was outnumbered, Stephen saw his hands move rapidly to open a portal, and before anyone could intervene, he was gone. 

“Your highness!” Samuel rushed to the prince’s side while Stephen ignited the candles in the room with a snap of his fingers. “Are you injured?” 

“Sir Clinton, get to the queen and Princess Morgan,” Peter ordered after catching his breath. He looked to Stephen. “And the older princess?” 

“Safe,” came the sorcerer’s response. 

“You said an attempt was made on her life,” Samuel retorted. 

“A what?” Peter glared up at the sorcerer. 

“I took care of it, she is safe,” Stephen assured him. “Are you injured, your highness?”

“I’m fine,” he brushed off the two men and stood up. “I want the guard awoken and informed of what has happened.”

He turned to Stephen.

“I want the wards reconstructed around the castle,” he continued. “I don’t trust the foundations of previous Masters. If you must call in sorcerers from Kamar-Taj, we will provide what they need.”

“Sir, your great uncle is due to arrive in a fortnight,” Samuel reminded him. “Shall we inform the convoy of the attempts on the royal family?”

Peter looked to Stephen with a frown. One of the young king’s first major decisions. 

“Let’s address the question in the morning,” he decided. “I want to know my family is safe.”

As if on cue, Queen Virginia and Princess Morgan were led into the room by Sir Clinton and Sir Steven. 

“Peter,” the queen pulled the prince into a relieved embrace. “Clint told us what had happened.”

“I recommend we reconvene in the throne room,” Steven suggested with a nervous glance around the chambers. 

“The wards are strongest there,” Stephen agreed with a curt nod. “I’ll go retrieve the princess.”

He returned to the observatory and found you sitting, staring down at the floor in deep thought. 

“Princess?” he called softly. You leapt up at his voice, hurrying over.

“Are they safe?”

“Peter was attacked, but he fought the assassin off,” Stephen informed her. 

“And mother? And Morgan?” you bit your bottom lip anxiously.

“Safe,” he confirmed. 

You let out a relieved sigh, your hands trembling slightly at your sides.

“Sir Steven suggested we go to the throne room to discuss our next options,” he offered his arm and she took it gratefully. 

He hoped she didn’t feel his own tremors. His own panic at the thought of losing her. The aftershocks of their new reality and his worst nightmare.

“I won’t allow this to happen again,” he promised her quietly. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” you assured him, your voice was shaky. “I was hurting, and whoever did this, acted on our vulnerabilities. I’d been selfish to hide in the village when I should have been by my family.”

“You slipped up once,” he countered, slowing his pace down the hall. He could have easily drawn a portal to the room, but he figured you both needed some time to manage your emotions. “You’re human. We make mistakes. It just happened we both made a mistake at the same time tonight. I wouldn’t have allowed you to go if I hadn’t been confident in my judgement of the situation.”

Your hand trailed down to his and you gave it a squeeze. 

“Thank you Stephen,” you murmured, holding on a moment longer before replacing it on his arm. 

He felt his heart give a small throb at the minute action, his fingers left tingling, and not from the damage from the accident.

“Always at your pleasure, your highness.”

(---)

3 - a new day

TAG LIST (Message to be added to this fic or my general tag list!):

@ayamenimthiriel @drstrangely-strange-deactivated @ladynothing @im-a-bi-disaster-help​ @idkwhatthisislol​ 

[hyena-frog]

Makes me so sad to think about how Cassius raised Lysander for 10 YEARS and came to love him like a brother and likely put a ton of effort into being a decent role model only for Lysander to turn around and become exactly like Octavia..... like can you imagine what must be going through Cassius’ head when he flies over Lysander at the end of DA.. :( seeing the kid he raised to adulthood become a monster.. I just... ugh. It tears me up inside

Hoo boy, I hope you’re prepared for the essay I’m about to write.

Genuinely, I think about this all the time. Cassius and Lysander have one of the most complex, tragic relationships the second trilogy has to offer. I hated Cassius so much after Golden Son but now he’s one of my favorite characters. I would really love it if he is the new POV Pierce Brown promised. In the second trilogy, Cassius has been exclusively filtered through Lysander’s POV, so I’m dying to know his own thoughts on everything that has happened. (But I would also like a Volga POV for the Obsidian story and maybe Diomedes POV for the Rim perspective. I’m torn.) I just want Cassius to have a happy ending. And I hate Lysander, but I would really like for him to see eye to eye with Cassius at least once before he is horribly, painfully, rightfully murdered.

Now, the thing is, Cassius didn’t come to love Lysander as a brother over time, he already loved him when he decided to become his guardian and mentor. It bugged me that, at the end of Morning Star, it didn’t feel like Cassius’ decision to take in Lysander was justified enough. All we really got out of him was that Lysander reminded him of Julian. Pretty flimsy. Then Iron Gold came along and blessed us with a flashback to when they first met. Little Lysander wasn’t too impressed with Cassius (he wasn’t exactly as respectable post Red Rising as he is now) but Cassius quickly went from calling Lysander an “eerie little creature” to declaring “I’ve decided to like you, little moon boy.” From that moment, Cassius truly cared for Lysander. Reading that flashback again after Dark Age makes me so emotional.

Lysander has this complex about being Julian’s replacement, that Cassius doesn’t love him so much as he loves the shadow of Julian he sees in him. And he’s justified, in a way, because Cassius does slip up and call him Julian sometimes, but it’s usually when he’s delirious from pain and not thinking clearly. Lysander completely misses the fact that Cassius does love him. I guess he doesn’t have much experience recognizing when he’s genuinely cared for, because why would he, but there is plenty of evidence of Cassius’ true feelings.

For example, Cassius sold most of his remaining family possessions to keep them afloat on the Archimedes. Now, Cassius isn’t strapped for cash by any means but the fact he cares for Lysander (and Pytha) enough to sell many of the last reminders of his dead family that he owns, is very telling. But Lysander doesn’t think about that. He acknowledges that it happened but doesn’t consider the deeper, emotional meaning behind that action.

Another example is Cassius opening up to Lysander about the last time he ever saw his father. How he disappointed Tiberius but finally regained his respect, only for the entire Bellona family to be slaughtered shortly after that reconciliation. That was a sign that he loves and trusts Lysander enough to be vulnerable with him. He never told that story to anyone else, as far as we know. He believed he was going to die in the Bleeding Place and wanted that memory of his father to live on in Lysander. The fact that Lysander is blind to how Cassius genuinely loves him, even now, is tragic.

You’re right, Cassius did try to be a good role model and pass on good morals. I think the scene in Dark Age, where Pytha confesses that Cassius forbade her from revealing to Lysander that she is actually a soldier and not a disgraced commercial pilot, as he was lead to believe, was very telling. Cassius attempted to show Lysander life outside of politics and war. He tried to show him that all Colors are equals deserving of respect. Cassius was devastated when Lysander chose to save Seraphina over the many mid- and low-color prisoners on the Vindabona. He was horrified that Lysander chose “quality” of life saved over quantity. This coming from Cassius, who compared Pinks to animals in Red Rising. Cassius has learned and changed a lot since the first book and he tried to pass those lessons onto Lysander. But it didn’t stick. Not even after 10 years of teaching.

Unfortunately, his teachings were tainted by his bad coping mechanisms for his personal demons. His alcoholism, his continued pining for Virginia, combined with his betrayal of Octavia and involvement in Aja's brutal murder, gave Lysander enough excuses to never fully embrace his lessons. While Lysander did love Cassius, there was always some flaw or another in his teacher that allowed him to comfortably distance himself from the lessons that diverged from Octavia’s teachings. To be honest, Cassius had no business taking on a ward while he was so torn up inside. Keeping Lysander isolated in a tin can in the middle of space for 10 years, instead of living among diverse people, didn’t do him any favors either. Frankly, Cassius missed a lot of red flags. A big one is the fact Lysander carved Lux ex tenebris, the Lune family motto, into the ceiling of his room on the Archimedes, where he could stare up at it every night. Yikes.

This dissonance in Lysander’s thinking is what lead to his betrayal in the Bleeding Place. Yes, Lysander loves Cassius and wanted to save his life rather than see him die at the hands of people who don’t respect him. But he also genuinely believes in the inherent hierarchy of Octavia’s teachings, that the “true order” is for Cassius to follow him. If Cassius lives, if he can convince him that his rightful place is to follow Lysander, things can finally be right in the worlds. Cassius failed to express his feelings in a way Lysander can comprehend, so he felt he was just a replacement for Julian. Lysander can dismiss Cassius’ love as love for his dead twin, and in turn, he can dismiss his claim to believe in the inherent equality of humankind as guilt and justification for killing his Sovereign. Cassius was unable to truly see how badly he failed until he was betrayed.

Since Cassius was absent for most of the plot following his “death” it’s difficult to concretely say what he’s been thinking since then. But I’ve been thinking a lot about him, so here is my conjecture. Take it with a grain of salt.

That moment you mention, when Cassius flies overhead, he deliberately retracted his helmet for a brief moment of eye contact with Lysander, so he would know exactly who rescued Darrow... Shivers. So much left unsaid. I imagine Cassius was thinking a lot of things in that moment. On the one hand, some pettiness and anger at being betrayed: “I lived bitch, I rescued Darrow, this is where my loyalties lie.” But there was also probably a mixture of shock and guilt at knowing what Lysander has done, at who he’s sided with and enabled, but also at seeing evidence of physical suffering in Lysander's burn scar and blind eye. Cassius loved Lysander, he was his guardian for 10 years, so he would hate to see him hurt. I think he would feel responsible for Lysander’s actions on some level, even if he logically understands that he’s an adult who makes his own choices.

Regardless, Cassius probably blames himself on some level. That’s what I think anyway. He tried his best to teach this kid good morals for an entire decade only for him to cling to the ideals his grandmother taught him. That has to sting. It’s probably also embarrassing, to a degree. Cassius made this grand promise to Darrow that he’d raise Lysander right, that Sevro was wrong to suggest they should have just killed him when he was little. Now Cassius’ failure to make good on that promise has been advertised to the whole Solar System through Lysander’s actions on Mercury. Surely Cassius feels responsible.

Cassius had a lot of time to think during his long return trip to the Core. About what happened with Lysander in the Rim, about his lingering feelings for Virginia, about his place in the Republic, and about what he really considers the right thing to do. Cassius can be intensely empathetic when he allows himself to be. For example, in Morning Star, he managed to really sympathize with Darrow’s life when they were drinking whiskey together. I’m willing to bet he spent that long return journey considering Lysander’s perspective with a clear head, after spending so many years lost in the haze of his own sorrows. Now that he is out of that bad mental place, he is likely able to see where he made mistakes in how he raised Lysander.

It will make for an interesting confrontation between Cassius and Darrow, who is thoroughly, understandably, done with Lysander, when the time comes to kill him. Cassius knows the danger Lysander poses and probably won’t argue against killing him this time, but I do think he would resist a little and at least try to find an alternative solution.

Lastly, I just want to say this, since it’s sort of relevant: This fandom tends to agree that Sevro should have just killed Lysander as a child, but if I’m being honest, I don’t agree. Kill Lysander now, as an adult, by all means, but as a kid he hadn’t done anything wrong yet, even if he was a little creepy. Darrow was right to give him the chance to live in peace. Too bad he ultimately didn’t take it. I especially don’t think Cassius would agree killing Lysander as a kid was the right choice, even now. He is traumatized by the sudden loss of most of his family, including little kids, so I don’t think he’d ever agree to killing a child. If he could somehow go back in time, knowing what he knows now, I think he would make the same choice to raise Lysander. In that scenario, I think he would rather try to fix the mistakes he made as a mentor, rather than punish Lysander.

Guh. Anyway. I had a lot of words in me about this subject. Hope you got something out of it! I’m consistently amazed by how Pierce Brown’s writing compels me to think deeply about these characters. Not to mention his ability to make me understand Lysander’s perspective even if I don’t like it or agree with it. Cassius’ perspective though... well, half of this post is just me guessing, so we’ll have to see how close I am to canon when book 6 comes out. Thanks for reading!

[aurorawest]

Do you have any thoughts about the scene in the Avengers where Thor and Loki are conversing on that mountain top? I don't know, to me, Loki seems almost young and vulnerable there.

This scene is my favorite in Avengers, actually! Thank you for asking! And it turns out I have a lot of thoughts, so let me place them under a read more.

I agree, Loki is terribly vulnerable in this scene. That moment where Thor lands on the back of the quinjet and appears, and Loki sees him for the first time—man, there are a lot of emotions on Loki’s face in that split second reaction shot. He’s afraid, he’s overjoyed, he doesn’t want to be either one of those things. There’s some disbelief there too; I think maybe part of him thought he’d never see his brother again, despite the fact that I also think part of him had to feel like, well, if I attack Earth, that will get his attention.

The conversation they have on the mountaintop is a masterclass in them talking past each other. When I’m trying to really capture them doing that in my writing, I keep this scene in mind (the other is the escape from Sakaar sequence in Ragnarok, including the elevator). But where the scene in Ragnarok is almost like a dam about to break—both of them are struggling but trying, I think—in the Avengers mountaintop scene, neither of them has a clue. Neither of them seems to even realize how badly they talk past each other and how much dysfunction each of them contributes to the relationship. All they can see is that the other is spouting absolute bullshit, and why can’t he just understaaaaand???

They’re both guilty of this, by the way. I have to break this scene down line by line because like, it’s classic.

Thor: Where is the Tesseract?

Loki: [laughs] I missed you too.

The conversation gets off to a bad start. In Thor 1, Loki lets go of Gungnir because of what he perceives to be Odin’s rejection. I don’t know what Loki went through in the year between Thor 1 and Avengers 1, but I have extensive head canons, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t experience anything good. In any case, it culminated with Thanos, who you know, we all think tortured Loki, so. I wonder how many times Loki longed for his family to find him, to save him?

And now here’s his brother, and the first thing he says to Loki, the very first thing, is “Where is the Tesseract?” There’s not a shred of doubt in my mind that Loki’s “I missed you too” is actually sincere, but it’s wrapped in layers of sarcasm and poison because as far as he can tell, Thor didn’t miss him at all. Thor’s first act upon their reunion is another rejection.

Now, to be fair to Thor here, he thought Loki was dead. To his mind, Loki either survived but didn’t tell anyone or, even worse, faked his death from the start. Either one would be a huge violation of trust and Thor clearly feels rejected too. I think he’s also afraid that Loki not being his biological brother will lead to the fracturing of their relationship. We can see that Thor’s hurt in these next lines:

Thor: Do I look to be in a gaming mood?

Loki: You should thank me. With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here? Your precious Earth.

Thor: I thought you dead.

Loki: Did you mourn?

Thor’s anger falls away here. I think he kinds of gets it, a little. The venom in Loki’s voice when he says ‘your precious Earth’—I think Thor realizes how he’s just come across. But he thought Loki was dead. And then Loki shows up on Earth, and he’s on a rampage; and why didn’t he tell anyone he was alive? Didn’t he want to come home? Why wouldn’t he want to come home?

Thor: We all did. Our father—

Loki: Your father. He did tell you my true parentage, did he not?

Womp womp. Thor doesn’t know how to deal with Loki like this. Loki is so angry. All the anger that Loki never gave free rein to, it’s finally on display in all its glory. Loki is sarcastic and cruel, he’s biting in a way we only see twice in Thor 1: once with Laufey, and of course the final fight with Thor. Thor sounds so lost when he says “We all did.” Like, Loki, of course I did, of course we did. He simply cannot process the fact that Loki thinks anything else would have happened.

Thor: We were raised together. We played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?

So Thor starts to get angry again. Loki is his brother. Of course he mourned, and to suggest otherwise is insulting. Remember how Thor 1 ends—it’s a huge downer. There’s no triumph; it’s just this family’s grief. Yes, Thor has learned his lesson about his arrogance, but then he says to Odin that he’ll never be as great a king as Odin is, and you know what, the way Anthony Hopkins plays that moment is brilliant. All you can see on his face is grief and doubt and the knowledge that he failed.

This is what Thor knows happened: he lost his brother and he grieved. Yes, he found out that Loki was adopted...but he doesn’t care. At no point does Thor give any indication that it matters that Loki isn’t related to him by blood, let alone that Loki is Jotun. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong, but Thor never once brings up the fact that Loki is a Frost Giant. It’s immaterial to him.

And yet, Loki is questioning that. Loki thinks Thor didn’t mourn; he thinks that Thor would care that they aren’t related by blood. Does Loki care that they aren’t related by blood? Loki has already shouted at Thor once that he isn’t Thor’s brother and never was. That can’t have been a nice thing to hear (I think I’ve talked before about how Loki doesn’t say ‘you’re not my brother,’ he says ‘I’m not your brother,’ which is an important distinction, IMO). And here, again, Loki is insisting that they aren’t real family. As Loki fans, it’s easy to sympathize with Loki here—but this all has to be hurtful to Thor, too. He loves Loki, and Loki is throwing it back in his face.

Oh, but just wait, Thor!

Loki: I remember a shadow—living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss; I, who was, and should be king.

Loki. Looooki omg. Okay so, I think Loki is absurd in this scene. I think he’s magnificent, but like...yikes, Loki. It’s pretty clear that he’s not in his right mind. He thinks this happened. He honestly thinks Thor threw him away, instead of hanging onto him and begging him not to let go. What Loki says here is such a warped version of reality. This has no basis in fact.

And again, Thor doesn’t know what Loki’s been through. Thor doesn’t know that Loki is under the influence of the Mind Stone, that he’s been to the darkest corners of the universe, that he’s been tortured. All he knows is that the brother who he thought was dead for the past year has suddenly reappeared, not bothering to tell his family that he was still alive, and is now saying this stuff—that Thor essentially tried to kill him, that their relationship wasn’t real, that Loki never mattered to Thor.

So Thor gets angry again. Because that’s how Thor deals with stuff...by getting angry.

Thor: So you take the world I love in recompense for your imagined slights?

Imagined slights. Loki looks like he’s been punched in the chest when Thor says this. It’s another rejection and Loki slips further into a state of unreality. Thor doesn’t care what Loki’s been through, he doesn’t care about Loki’s pain, he doesn’t care how Loki felt...ever.

And I don’t know...if Thor had not been so angry at first, would he have gotten through to Loki later when he says ‘you come home?’ I’m not sure. Loki is pretty far gone here. But I think you can see in his eyes in that moment that he wants to. I think there’s a little flash of sanity there, of being able to see past all the dysfunctional bullshit. But of course, then it’s gone. :(  Loki needles Thor again and Thor gets angry.

[faunusrights]

so how does weiss become cinder’s guard dog anyway like????

okay so i'm just gonna shit out my entire plot because tbh this fic is getting very long and idk if i'll ever finish it (it's me we're talking abt here) so here's the gist of the thing:

in this au weiss is abt 20-21 and is getting very involved with the SDC trying to constantly undermine jacques and his Shitty Ideas, and because jacques wants to make whitley his direct heir he decides to just. get rid of weiss. just get rid of her. so he orchestrates a kidnapping with the plan of them killing weiss and leaving her body in the permafrost in the wilds of mantle, before faking a whole ransom scenario, later "finding" the body, and then accusing either the white fang/mantle of the murder depending on whoever he fancies at the time! so he gets his personal security to drag weiss out of bed, get her in a truck, take her down to mantle, kill her, and then start the whole 'oh no my child :( my child :( has been :( kidnapped :(((' skit. by all means this should have been taking candy from a baby, esp cause weiss doesn't even have her aura unlocked or anything.

ENTER: CINDER FALL

(okay this got long i'm popping this under a cut)

so cinder's in solitas doing her shit and whilst coming back from........................ some business merc spots an SDC van fuckin BOOKIN IT across the tundra and is like 'hey. think something's in there'. and cinder who is always down 2 clown is like 'let's find out' and so they stop the van, are mildly surprised that all the people in the van are armed, and decides oh shit, this has to be something fucking juicy.

>yeah it's juicy >it's weiss

“Weiss Schnee?” says Cinder Fall. “Cinder Fall?” says Weiss Schnee. Well, out of the frying pan and into the fire.

cinder is instantly like 'oh? a kidnapped heiress? well there's ransom money to be made here' and so cinder kidnaps weiss (weiss: r u jokin me rn) and takes her to her solitas compound to wait for news of the kidnapping to come in. except... weird thing... it doesn't???

“So, what, it hasn’t been reported?” she asks, and Cinder hums behind her. “Well, that would be my conclusion, but the more pressing question is why.” Cinder swings some of Weiss’s hair around and onto her shoulder, gently coaxing Weiss to turn just a little. “The heiress to the Schnee Dust Company gets stolen from her own home in the middle of the night, with evidence sure to have been left behind, and yet there’s nothing on the news? Darling, if so much as a hair on your head was harmed in any other circumstance, I could only imagine the worldwide outrage on the matter.”

huh. weird.

anyway merc tracks back the biometric data from one of the scrolls from one of weiss's original kidnappers and finds out, uh-oh! babey that's some ESS-DEE-CEE security guy! and so after that it all collapses together and cinder realises that weiss is involved in some sort of internal kidnapping which means it hasn't been reported because jacques now doesn't know if weiss is even dead WHICH MEANS HE WAS NEVER GOING TO PAY ANY RANSOM WHICH MEANS SHE HAS A WHOLE PERSON HERE WHO ISN'T WORTH ANYTHING.

so after that cinder arranges to send an anonymous tip about the truck (which she burnt with the bodies) and figures if jacques wants an easy way out, he'll pay off the police and coroner to claim that weiss's body was within the wreckage, and if he doesn't, he'll claim she's still missing. well he sure wants an easy way out!!! cause he does, in fact, as predicted, pay off the police and coroner to find a fourth mysterious body... wrow...

anyway now weiss is technically dead and a free woman, but cinder tells her she wants the equivalent in ransom money she would have gotten from weiss somehow, and because weiss is now, uh, dead, and has no money (because she's dead), the only way is for weiss to work for cinder! and so they go to vytal so weiss can start working for cinder!

admittedly i haven't planned too much detail past this bit... i do now that cinder unlocks weiss's aura so she doesn't instantly die in the first encounter they have, and so weiss has to start puzzling out her semblance (which belongs to a dead person), but most importantly cinder starts taking care of weiss and ends up taking a liking to this feral little heiress, and weiss kind of... unhealthily ends up relying on cinder to keep her anchored because Yikes Her Own Father Tried To Kill Her And She's Legally Dead!!! anyway as cinder and weiss get closer weiss realises they're transmasc and non-binary, that they really don't know what they'd do without cinder who constantly seems to just be there when they need it, and they gradually end up in a relationship that is............... woof (arf). well the relationship comes first. then cinder renames weiss to Aufeis and decides that aufeis needs to have a firm hand to replace jacques's stranglehold on them (because they're now cast adrift) and it turns into petplay and then aufeis becomes cinder's full-time guard dog!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!

(also after that point blake and velvet [who are white fang folk] get involved BECAUSE I'M MEEEE BECAUSE I'M MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND I NEED MY FRAPP IF I DON'T GET FRAPP I'LL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and anyway it gets rly horny from here on out HGDSFHJGKDFS)

it's. i mean. you can tell where i've written up to and where after that i'm just shitting out of my ass BUT THAT'S THE GIST OF THE THING!!!! it's basically a crime au with added petplay but you people didn't really think you were following me for anything else, right,

[jadelotusflower]

Robin Hood Rewatch: 1x13 A Clue: No

“Previously on” recaps can be annoying, but there is an art to it and I love a good one. This is a very, very good one, summarising the last episode with ramping tension as the music builds, then cuts to a different take of the last scene as the theme song starts, and we’re into the opening credits.

This is a long one, so it’s going under the cut:

Guy estimates that the “inner circle” of Robin’s gang is “a dozen at the most” and I find it very funny that neither he nor Vaisey have twigged that it’s always the same five people around him. What’s more annoying than funny is that they don’t know how many are in the “outer circle” because that really should have been A Thing in the show (Forrest and Hanton should have come back to guest star! I will never let this go!) After all, we see Little John with more men in the first episode, there are other outlaws in the forest/across the shire that are either working with Robin, or pose a risk to them, and I wish this had been explored.

Djaq manhandling and holding her sword to Pitts’s throat - I love Djaq.

The first arrow Robin shoots is intended for Vaisey, but one of the guards inconveniently walks in front and gets it in the chest. The second arrow is intended for Vaisey as well but he ducks (”my tooth!”) so we can’t fault the writing for a credible attempt at Why Doesn’t Robin Just Kill The Sheriff, because in this scene at least, he tries.

Bye Pitts. You certainly were.

I actually really love this scene (which probably seemed odd given the high body count), but Robin drawing his sword and charging, with Much, Djaq, and John backing him up to avenge Marian’s apparent death/make a final stand, as the music shifts from the jaunty Rescue Theme to Marian’s Theme, just gets me every time.

Although thanks to the cast commentary, I can’t unsee Djaq flipping that guy over her head twice, but hey, it’s a badass move. Clearly they didn’t shoot enough coverage of this fight, because we get the same action from several different angles.

Other than the flashback in episode 8, I think this is the only time we see Robin in Crusader mode, and just how lethal he (and the gang) can be when unleashed and with nothing to lose. Even when the enemy retreats Robin remains kind of wild-eyed with rage unsated, and it takes a beat for him to snap out of it. It’s symbolism time - he sticks his sword in the ground and leaves it there, and we don’t see it again this episode (or much in season 2).

There’s some nice acting going on from everyone in this scene - just utter exhaustion, Allan and Will oblivious to why the rest are so distraught, Much taking it upon himself to tell them but can’t say the words, and Robin with the finality of “she’s dead.” Their faces!

Djaq is still holding two swords as she enters the cave, which is a nice character beat - no doubt the fight also brought back unpleasant memories/triggers for her, and she remains on edge, for the moment unwilling to give up her defences even when the threat is gone.

I really love this scene too (the gang mourning Marian) and I think it’s quite deftly written - Djaq’s immediate reaction being the importance of a quick burial (as per Islamic tradition), Robin trying to keep it together, attempting to ask John/Will to build a coffin but unable to, so deflecting to ask Djaq to prepare Marian’s body, before trying twice again; John soothing him and taking charge. Will’s single tear and speaking of Marian’s goodness. Much responding with “Good? Oh, she was... She was...” looking to Robin because of course his thoughts are for Robin’s grief before his own, and also that his own relationship with Marian was complex. Allan: “She was alright...yeah” that says so much, and of course John’s “Her, we liked.” Again, some fine acting, kudos everyone.

“I loved her and I never told her” is ironic because Robin still won’t tell her until halfway through the next season, and if he had in the aftermath of her apparent death he could have spared himself a lot of the angst of the rest of the episode. But of course he doesn’t tell her, doesn’t learn from this moment, because emotions are hard, and sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again.

I really love that it’s Allan that notices that Marian is alive, and his little “told ya” flourish.

Score note: while Marian is “dead” her Theme is strings, when she opens her eyes, it’s back to the guitar.

Guy’s guilt in finding out his impending marriage to Marian is based on false pretenses - would he still have forced the marriage if he’d known that from the start?

Djaq still has her two swords as they take Marian back to Knighton.

Guy, if your first instinct when told Marian is not at home is that she’s run away rather than marry you...maybe take a hint? “She cannot run from me” is a big yikes, and this confuses me as to Guy’s motivation in this scene. Did he intend to tell Marian the truth, but then convince himself otherwise (because “the excitement of the wedding” =/= “the wedding excites her”), but then why so angry when he thinks shes run? The difference between getting someone go/being left, I suppose.

Illness is a perfectly plausible explanation for delaying the wedding that no one seems to think of.

Edward is actually pretty bang on in this scene with Robin from a father’s perspective, telling him to let Marian go if he cannot stop it, and do the right thing. On the other hand...

“I am sick of doing the right thing” is why Robin is such a compelling character for me - because it is hard to always be good, to be held to that higher standard, and make the unselfish choice. I enjoy narratives that explore that, and this show is surprisingly unflinching about it, exemplified by:

The next scene, which is one of the most emotionally brutal/hard to watch of the entire show, in which Robin lashes out and does everything to drive Much away, including calling him “a pox”  and a “small man” until Much’s heart visibly breaks.

Now I don’t want to excuse Robin here, because he is objectively awful to someone who doesn’t deserve it, who is trying to give him support but also telling him some much needed hard truths (even if it is slightly self-serving, which is what what seems to set Robin off). But at the end of the day, if he loves Marian he needs to accept that it is her choice to marry Guy, to “do the right thing” to (she thinks) protect her father - and later of he does just that. For now Edward and Much are both right, it is more important for him to try and protect the king from Vaisey, because if he is ousted and Richard back on the throne so many lives would be improved, including the people of Locksley. But Robin has been pushed to breaking point all season, and has now snapped and can’t see reason, but is stuck in his own grief/rage.

But unlike previously, when Robin said regrettable things in the heat of the moment and then immediately took them back, this is a calculated attack designed to hurt Much the most, because he loves Robin so much that it takes A Lot to push him away. It’s a bold move to make your hero so unlikable in such a moment, because Robin really is unforgivably cruel here, and trust the audience to understand why. I mean, I don’t want to bang on about the PTSD, but it’s (partly) the PTSD, based on a triggering, precipitating event causing a self-destructive spiral. Robin needs some Ye Olde Therapy.  

For all the talk about Robin getting his title and lands back, nothing is said about what happens to Gisborne once he does, other than that they can’t prove he was the one who tried to assassinate Richard. Because really, Richard probably would believe Robin even though the tattoo was burned away, and Guy’s certainly committed other crimes that could be testified to just like they’re intending for Vaisey - and let’s be real, it’s not like a king needs evidence to order someone’s death (hello, season 2 finale). Boom - Guy executed, marriage to Marian annulled, problem solved!

So, the scene between Marian and Guy, in which Marian is more concerned with whether or not Guy tried to kill the king than the fact that he stabbed her. But its understandable, because Marian thinks there’s no way out that doesn’t risk her father’s life, and it’s easier to convince herself that maybe Guy didn’t do it to make the best of things. I think she does have some kind of feelings for him, or is at least moved by his feelings for her, and believes if nothing else she can influence him/continue working from the inside; giving up the mantle of the Nightwatchman but doing the same work (in a different way) as Lady Gisborne.

And then it’s Robin/Marian angst, round 3, and it’s a far cry from their interaction in the cave milliseconds away from “I love yous” - in both tone and body language they’re back in defensive positions talking past one another. The tension, it be thick.

Marian is making her best rationalisation with “deprived of love” and Robin not at all buying the Woobification 101. Once she tells him her decision to marry Guy, he accepts it, but it’s Marian’s reaction that’s telling, she’s surprised that he doesn’t argue, deep down she wants him to fight for her, to say that the real reason she shouldn’t marry Guy is because he loves her. It’s quite a contrast from the previous scene where Guy was very open about how he feels about her, while Robin deflects, but while she was conflicted about Guy trying to kiss her, she’s frustrated, disappointed, and angry when Robin leaves.

But really, this is rather unfair of Marian, because Robin did already declare himself in the cave (”we should be together”) without her reciprocation, so expecting him to take the first step again without any encouragement is a bit much.

Would a depressed person sit slumped against a tree all night?

“But by taking Marian in holy wedlock, I will wash away those crimes. Her pure heart will cleanse mine.” Yeah...not going to touch that one. I appreciate that there’s a lot going on with Guy and many, many people find it compelling, but I’m afraid it’s not really a narrative that interests me.

Speaking of pure hearts: Much. Faced with the same choice he was counseling Robin on, but with the additional wrinkle of knowing the king’s an imposter, he still decides to stop the wedding. “Her heart belongs to another” is A Moment and I don’t know exactly why but I find his very soft pleas following this and calling her “my lady” very affecting. 

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she punched Guy in the face.

“A trap. I knew it.” I haaaaate this line. NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT ROBIN YOU KNEW NOTHING OF THE KIND IF YOU HAD KNOWN YOU WOULD BE EVEN MORE OF A DICK FOR LEAVING UGGGHHHH.

“We can’t be seen together” Right in front of my salad two guards on front gate duty, who get front row tickets to the kiss. Look at them! They’re right there! This show drives me absolutely bonkers sometimes.

I do love this dress though.

“An audience with the king has been suspended!” Going out on one last pun.

Regardless, I really love this episode. Despite the lack of fallout from the emotional wringer they all went through, I can’t help but smile when the gang does their silly little jump for joy at the end.