#and it's a direct hit to my heart crashed and burned

[rafescherie]

Please write something where rafe catches reader going thru his phone or the other way around!!!

✮⋆˙ curiosity gets the best of you, and you snoop through his phone.

warnings — none, really! contains nudges towards cheating briefly.

cherie's note — thank u for the request! hope this was along the lines of what you had in mind cutie. ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

you don't mean to do it.

you know better. this isn't something you should be doing, not here, not now. not when things were going so good between you and rafe, the first time in weeks things were finally settling for the both of you.

you tell yourself you don't, at least, not really. it's not premeditated. you don't go looking for trouble. but when his phone buzzes next to you, lighting up the sheets with that cool blue glow, somethings coils tight deep within your chest.

your fingers burn. your hands itch, daring you to just turn the screen over, face the screen your way, so you can get a little peek at the notification. but it's gone before you know it, the screen timing out, and you mentally curse yourself out for not taking the opportunity when it had arised. he couldn't get upset with you for simply looking at his lock screen, right? everyone was guilty of that.

rafe's in the kitchen, downstairs, long enough to grab something — but not long enough for you to justify what you were about to do.

your hand moves before your brain can catch up, convincing yourself 'no, this is a bad idea' and to just brush the urge off. just a glance, you tell yourself, there was nothing wrong with that. it's probably nothing. maybe it was kelce. maybe it was topper sending some stupid meme again. you've seen it happen a hundred times.

but this time, it's not kelce. and it's not topper, either.

it's a name you don't recognize.

thalia : you coming tonight?

your blood runs cold, breath catching in your throat as you reread the message, clinging to the hope that maybe — maybe — your mind is just playing tricks on you. surely, if you were insecure enough to go through his phone, you were capable of imagining something too. faking a message twisting words, seeing what you feared instead of what was real. but the screen doesn't change. the message doesn't fade. it's still there — clear, deliberate, burned into the glass — and suddenly, there's no denying it: it's real.

it's not overly flirty. it's not some half-naked selfie. but it's late. it's direct. it's personal. and it's from someone you had never heard rafe mention before.

your fingers are already swiping before you can stop. the guilt hits immediately — like you've just knocked something delicate, expensive, off a high shelf, and now you're waiting to hear the crash.

more messages. quick, casual. nothing obviously romantic, but familiar. too familiar. you read them twice, your breath shallow.

and that's when you hear the creak of the stairs.

you look up — slow, and there he is. rafe. framed in the doorway, still chewing something. the half-finished water bottle in his hand crumples just slightly.

his eyes land on the phone. on you.

he stops mid-step. your stomach twists.

"are you serious right now?"

time slows. it's almost like the world zeroes in on him — on this moment. everything in you locks up — like your heart, your stomach, you voice have all turned to concrete.

"rafe—"

he doesn't raise his voice. he doesn't need to.

and maybe, that was the scariest part.

there's something cold in his tone, something worse than anger. disbelief.

"i just saw the notification," you say quickly, voice too high, too shaky. "i didn't know who it was—"

"so you went through my phone?" his mouth curves, but there's no humor in it. "just like that?"

you try to explain, but it all sounds pathetic even as it leaves your mouth, stuttering over your own words, "i thought maybe—"

"you thought, what?" his tone cuts through yours like a blade. "you know what i hate more than being accused of something i didn't do? being doubted by someone who's supposed to trust me."

the tears that well in your eyes sting, bottom lip quivering at his tone. "i do trust you! but i got curious, and it got the best of me—"

he laughs, cold. he's already walking toward you, running a hand through his hair like he can't believe what he's seeing. his fingers grab his phone, snatching the device out from your grasp, eyes darting over the screen.

"she's some girl topper's been talking to," he turns the screen toward you, thumb flying over the messages. and there it is. some dumb selfie, totally innocent. topper in the background, eyes forced shut as he sleeps. a caption: sleepy head fell asleep, time to party plan.

sitting up from your position laying on your stomach, the guilt swarming now, burning hotter than embarrassment, "i'm sorry."

"yeah," he replies, short and cold. he shoves the phone into the pocket of his khakis, throwing the water bottle in his hands onto the blankets of his bed. "she needed help planning topper's surprise party, that's it."

you nod, but it's slow, unsure. the guilt sits heavy in your chest, pressing into your ribs like it wants to stay — bury itself inside of you. "i just... i didn't know," you murmur.

"no, you didn't," rafe says, his tone flat. he doesn't look at you — just runs a hand through his hair, jaw tense, pacing once like he can't decide whether to stay or walk out the door, alone. "but instead of asking, you assumed the worst. again."

you flinch, "i said i'm sorry."

"i heard you." he turns to you now, eyes sharp and unreadable. "doesn't mean it fixes anything."

you don't say anything. not because nothing swirls in your brain — too much does — but because you can't. your throat feels dry, tears threatening at your eyes. what could you say that wouldn't make it worse?

what a stupid fucking choice. you should have ignored the notification, the minute it had popped up on the screen.

"come on," he gestures, grabbing his keys off of the dresser, "should head over there, told them we'd be there by now."

reluctantly, he sticks his hand out for you to take, a sign of truce. your smaller hand wraps in his, mouth practically glued shut as he dragged you out to his truck. your actions weren't going to be so easily forgotten.

this was going to be a long night.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

virgin sacrifice

a/n: you guys? hail satan.

summary: you didn’t think in your wildest dreams that Captain and Tennille’s best hits would be blasting over the camp’s speakers while you were running for your life from two nut job serial killers, ones who had already slain what looked like most of the other campers.

warnings: dark!steve harrington x reader x dark!eddie munson, dark content, noncon/dubcon, smut, summer camp au (they are all camp counsellors), slasher au, virgin!reader, very innocent!reader, final girl!reader, established relationship, violence, murder, weapons, blood, devil worship, predator/prey, bondage, knife kink, dirty talk, pussy inspection, oral, fingering, anal

word count: 1389

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It was the summer of 1986, right before you were supposed to go off to college and start your real life. It was also the summer when you worked as a counsellor at Camp Nebula, the very summer you fell in love for the first time. The summer when the most popular guy for some reason took notice of you and started calling you his girl. 

Now, he was a tad bit more experienced than you and wasn’t shy to show you in ways that you always snuffed out before they could grow into anything uncouth. That’s not how you’d been raised, to lose your virginity in a summer camp’s tool shed, however gobsmacked he made you feel, you just couldn’t take that step. 

No one had ever looked at you the way that he did, truly listened to you when you spoke, and even stood up for you, like whenever the camp’s freak would say things to you vulgar enough to render you speechless, your knight in shining armour would step in and save the day. 

It was the perfect summer. 

Was. 

Completely perfect right up till the murders began to happen. 

You didn’t think in your wildest dreams that Captain and Tennille’s best hits would be blasting over the camp’s speakers while you were running for your life from two nut job serial killers, ones who had already slain what looked like most of the other campers.

Lungs burning, you sprinted through the dark camp, a flicking lamppost above illuminating the path you raced down, the ground littered with sharp pine needles. 

When you made your way to the dining hall, the rotary phone inside, your plan of salvation, turned out to be just as dead as the summer friendships you’d thought would last a lifetime. 

“There’s nowhere left for you to run, little lamb!” the petrifying roar from just outside the hall’s walls caused you to jump and scurry into the kitchen, though when you did, your gaze should have been directed in front of you and not over your shoulder as you swiftly crashed into a figure. 

A blank mask stared down at you, one of the ones that the kids used for crafts, usually decorating them with an explosion of paint and beads. 

Chuckling softly at the way you stumbled back, he playfully uttered, “boo!” raising his hands up to scare you, retroactively flashing you the blade fast in his grip. Half-obscured eyes stilled glued to you, the killer shouted over his shoulder, “found her!” and held the weapon outstretched to keep you where you were. 

“Oh, good,” another masked murderer appeared as the back door was swung open, “well then let’s get this show on the road!”

“Please don’t kill me!” you cried as the one keeping you cornered grabbed you. 

“Kill you?” one of them laughed, “oh honey, we’re gonna do so much more than just kill you,” before he got out a bundle of rope and gestured to his partner, “get her up on the table.” 

Once they’d forced you down upon the cold steel surface and tied you up, they proceeded to reveal something to you that nearly caused your thumping heart to stop. 

“…Steve?” you scarcely breathed as one of them plucked off his mask and tossed it onto a counter. 

“Surprise,” your summer sweetheart flashed you a smile. 

“But–… I’ve been looking for you everywhere all night, you–… you did this?”

“Well, don’t give him all the credit,” the other one peeled off his mask as well. 

“Eddie?” you shuttered, “b-but you two hate each other.”

“That’s what we had to make you think so that no one would suspect a thing,” the long-haired rebel wiped some of the bloodstains on his blade clean on the hip of his jeans, “no one would ruin our plan.” 

“Y-your plan?”

“Might as well tell her,” Eddie nudged his partner who shifted his grip on the axe heavy in his grasp, “since she has such a big part to play in it.”

“Oh, what the hell, why not,” Steve grinned and pulled over a rickety stool, “you see, there are things, wishes, that both me and Eddie have,” the man you thought you’d loved began to explain, “ambitions that, try as we might, we can’t achieve on our own. So, Eddie here found this old book, this tome, that explained a ritual that could grant us our deepest desires...” he uttered dreamily, “it was really quite simple when it came down to it… first 40 lives and then you.”

“…me?” your voice trembled, “why me? I’m not anyone special, I'm just–”

“Oh no, Y/n, you sweet, sweet dumb girl,” Steve chuckled darkly, “you are the final piece to the puzzle,” he stared directly into your soul, “our perfect little virgin sacrifice.” 

Taking a step closer to your strapped-down form, Eddie’s stare danced down your frame, scrapes and dirt still tainting the uniform you’d freshly washed just this morning. 

“But you know, the funny thing is, our lord and saviour down in hell has a funny and pretty ancient definition of what a virgin is,” he teasingly ran the flat side of his blade up the length of your leg, smiling as you squirmed, “sure, some things are off limits, but not a lot…,” the tip of his knife dipped under your shorts and sliced them in two. With the configuration that they had bound you in, everything was already embarrassingly on show, though even more so now that all of your clothes were cut off your frame. Completely mesmerised as the last shred left your form, Eddie uttered softly, “oh, this is gonna be so much fun.”

“What are you doing?” you struggled against the robes as Steve rose from his seat. 

“It’s a real shame, baby,” his broad hands ran up your inner thigh, “I really did wanna pop your cherry myself, fuck I would have loved that, but I don’t deserve it as much as he does,” his thumbs, creeping up to either side of your core, extended out to wickedly spread you apart, “Satan may get to have your pussy,” you shuttered at the mortifyingly soppy sound that emanated as he briefly ran a finger though your folds, “but this little hole isn’t off limits,” his digit then swept down to draw a feathery circle over your rosebud. 

“Nor this one,” Eddie’s hand found your cheeks in a pinch and forced your lips to pucker, “but we might have to do a bit of convincing in order to be able to play up here,” your body stiffened up as the cold edge of his blade then pressed against your throat, “no teeth, or else we won’t make you feel good, won’t give you a little treat before you help us contact the man downstairs.” 

“How in the fuck do you think I’ll like any of this?” you spat back at him. 

“Uh!” they both laughed and shared a glance before Eddie noted, “I think that might have been the first time I’ve ever heard little miss goody two shoes swear! That’s so cute!”  

“Fuck you,” you wept, “you psycho–, oh!” a moan then ripped through your body and surprised you to the very core.

Glancing down between your legs, you saw that Steve was kissing you down there, his lips latched on to the little pearl that always seemed to throb in his presence. 

“What was that about you not enjoying this?” his sloppy peck detached in an obscene pop, “because you sure are soaked for someone who doesn’t think it feels good to be played with… we’re gonna make you feel good, so good, your virgin ass couldn’t even fucking dream about it…” the sensation of Eddie’s palm snaked down to squeeze your tit, while Steve brought his broad thumb up to bully your glistening clit, grinning at how your untouched hole clenched around nothing for him, “just look at how fucking messy you are for us… fucking leaking all over the place…” a groan then escaped him as one of his digits dipped down to slowly sink into your tight ass, simply testing the waters before the pair of them utterly obliterated you, “fuck… you almost make me wanna keep you forever and just find a different virgin to take your place…”

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[ma1dita]

as above, so below

 a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader words: 10.4k. wow. prev -> asking for trouble summary: (post-TLT) The one where you plead your case with the gods of Olympus. (The one thing the fates didn't expect was how much you'd both be like your fathers; in a way, you and Luke didn't see it coming either) a/n: depictions of overdose/suicidal ideation, grief and then a bittersweet ending. this is the final chapter of partners in crime, and a love letter to everyone who’s made it this far—for all the wonderful comments and rbs! i hope this ending and this story serves as a reminder to all to support writers and their work!!! also a love letter to myself?? and the immense growth i’ve experienced creatively and in my life in the past year and some change of writing this story, it was truly a transformative time. thank you.  to end, i hope you all get the love that you deserve.

— 

—KATABASIS—

Is love in this world a gift or a curse?

Watching your campers file into the Hall of Gods felt like being stuck in a perpetual state of unease. Or maybe how you imagine it would feel to drive in the wrong direction on the Long Island Expressway during rush hour. It felt like staring into an oncoming car crash with your shoulders stiff, bracing for impact as you waited for something to just hit and hurt. 

What else is there to do after a war is won but revel in how it hurts? 

The campers look at you as they pass you on the stairs—a ghost of yourself after the deed was done, and it was almost as if Luke took whatever little life there was in you with him to the underworld. Like moths hovering toward light, the crowd starts to grow, waiting for someone to have the answers on what to do next as the Olympian Council prepares to convene.  

Instead, you mentally do a headcount each time another one of the kids makes an appearance through the marble foyer; you wonder about a lot of things now that you find yourself with the time to think. You haven’t spoken in the hours since Luke died and your heart falls further with every covered stretcher the satyrs carry in.

“Hey.”

Flinching, you soften slightly when you realize it’s Annabeth grabbing you by the crook of your arm, “Let’s go wash up.” It’s not a suggestion. She leads you to a secluded part of the hall and there’s a basin filled with warm water and soap waiting for the both of you. There’s no use in tidying up the mess, you think—we just won a war! But the daughter of Athena tuts and sits you down how you imagine your mother used to when you’d come in from the backyard covered in mud. The pearlescent pool in front of you is instantly sullied as your fingers descend into the bowl—scarlet running down from your elbows, stuck to your skin, and coming off in plumes that drop into the water like miniature explosions. You hadn’t realized there was so much blood—so much of him still left on you.

“Where’s…” You say hoarsely, jerking your hands upward so that the dirty water splashes onto your knees, and Annie clasps your forearms firmly until you stop twitching—sitting still like this suddenly feels like burning coals under your feet.

“Your phone’s in your pocket. We can get it after.” “It’s dead. Uh…I need to charge it, before the Mist lifts.” The thought of calling your boyfriend comes and goes quickly like a balloon in the wind—your mind is filling up the spaces of grief with other things to worry about like Dex, who’ll be driving home soon with breakfast and waiting patiently for your return to the apartment you share. Thinking about what you’ll say to him is better than having to sit with the truth. 

The younger girl is now watching you with half-lidded eyes, scrubbing at your arms delicately with a sponge and trying to not think about how all of the crust and blood that covers you used to be her brother’s. This was blood that pumped through his arteries and through his lungs that produced oxygen, straight back into his stubborn heart that beats no more. Annabeth glances through her lashes at the stoic look on your face—she’s not sure yours is working either, and well, there is nothing more that Annabeth Chase hates than not knowing what to do next.

“Help me help you. Where do we go from here?” she mumbles, but it barely reaches your ears. Any thought you might’ve had is washed away with what was left of him; blankly, you’re staring at your red-hued reflection within the porcelain bowl.

“I don’t know.”

There is nothing left but time now that the war is over—and it buries you, so far into the earth that maybe if you try to sink far enough you’d see where they’ll put his body to rest. A sickening realization hits you like a freight train: your relationship—all of it—exists only in dreams now, memories, the spaces between thoughts, the seconds before someone remembers the reality of how the world almost ended because of a love that you’ll now have to live without.

How, after everything, is this the end?

You knew this was coming, you try to remind yourself. Losing him was years in the making—you’ve been mourning Luke Castellan for almost as long as he let you love him. No one knows when the end is until it’s happened. Or for you—for as long as it takes for you to admit it. It was the end when he left you to wake up alone on his last day of camp. 

Maybe even earlier than that—but now you’ll never know. 

Looking back, all the time spent with and without him was just you trying to keep going as if he hadn’t already signed a death sentence. The lines have always been a bit blurred for you when Luke was part of the conversation. Endlessly toeing the line between your love for your home and your love for him, you couldn’t help but indulge in the hitch in your breath that filled with Luke’s name whenever he would pop into your life. Even when the rest of the world found reasons to hate him, you could not bear to. 

Would it have made a difference if you fought back against him? Not Kronos, him—the boy that didn’t include you in the decisions he made for you, now sauntering towards Elysium leaving you to deal with the rest. Does doing nothing make you worse than his father? Would the results of the war changed if you turned him in? If you found a way to resist the hold he’s always had on you, would Luke still be alive?

Everything after feels like it’s going in a blur—endless questions swirling through your head that make your knees buckle from the vertigo. The gods can’t just expect you to go back to your nine-to-five and pretend that walking away from the wreck will mean it never happened.

“Right?” you exhale, answering your inner thoughts. Annabeth is drying your arms with a pinkened terry cloth and hums in response, before meeting your gaze over the horizon that peeks out to say hello.

The sky seems endless when you’re standing on Mount Olympus watching the gods rebuild the damage that was left behind. Everything moves in reverse—buildings rising from rubble with every floating brick, pathways smoothing with the gentle touch of time, and plants rebirthed from ash. The city will always wake up to move towards tomorrow, but for you, there’ll be no proof that your world ended while everyone else gets to keep theirs. 

Time is being undone before your own eyes, and you suppose you have the rest of your life to fix it—whatever that means now.

“Was any of it real?”

The Olympians will be summoning you any minute now. Percy shuffles over from his spot against the wall where he is watching you both, stoic as a statue—everyone’s made their way inside and the three of you are the last to enter. 

“Doesn’t really feel real,” the son of Poseidon mutters, mindlessly playing with a tendril of Annie’s hair—she lets him with no complaints. The weight of the world hasn’t been lifted from their shoulders like they were once promised. No one wants to celebrate when you’ve lost your friends—your family in the process.

Apollo stretches his arms and pulls a blanket of dawn overhead as if a final countdown before you have to walk in as glimmers of gold spread across the sky.

“I wonder if Luke always knew this is how it was gonna end,” Percy says simply, your eyes meeting his and the boy almost sounds apologetic. Annabeth scoffs, “The jerk always was the type to pull strings.” A crescendo of trumpets and fanfare begins to shake the halls—your cue to enter. Walking slowly behind the pair, you wrestle with the tug deep within you that silently agrees with her.

Grover joins them and all together, the trio make their way to the stage. You find a spot next to your brother who notably has his arm in a misshapen cast decked out in smiley faces—Will’s doing. Your lip quivers at the sight of him.

“The hell happened to you?” you murmur. Pollux kisses your temple and slings his good arm around your shoulders, voice hushed to not distract from Zeus thanking the half-bloods for their efforts of saving humankind, which is a rare occurrence as it is. You couldn’t be bothered by the grandiose display, focusing instead on the big baby next to you.

“Just a scratch,” he says cooly, and you pinch his side in annoyance—”He-OW!” Pollux shrieks, swallowing the sound when the satyrs shush him.

“What happened to you coming straight to me?”

“I’m the least of your worries,” the blond boy mutters, purple eyes meeting your own. Even if so, you disagree.

“Not true! You know that.”

Pollux takes a good look at you from the peripherals of his vision as you huff and try to pay attention to whatever’s going on up front. He wishes you could see yourself how he sees you—completely worthy of love in every capacity, even if life makes you work for it tirelessly like Sisyphus pushing a rock atop a hill. You’ve always been so close to getting what you want…but never quite reached it. He doesn’t know how you do it, but both of you being your father’s children makes him understand why you do. 

Understanding doesn’t make you hurt any less though.

“You know, no one would blame you.”

The longer you stand here feels like someone’s shoved cotton through every open crevice of your body. It scratches at your throat and dampens your ears as you turn your head to face him, eyes dragging up his face in question.

“In fact, no one would bat an eye if you left and never looked back.”

Scoffing, you turn to look at the floor and his hand feels heavier on your shoulder now like you’re carrying the weight of him too, “It sounds like you just wanna get rid of me.” Feeling like you’re constantly at a loss can radicalize anyone—you’ve never felt so close but so far from Luke than at this moment. People turn away from everything they’ve ever known for less. 

And still, you’re here. 

Still.

Pollux shrugs, wincing when his bad shoulder jerks, “Maybe. Do you still want this? Any of this?” 

He thinks of you spending the rest of your days sitting in that tiny apartment burning cookies in that cramped excuse for a kitchen, and how when he visits, he’ll have to say hello to that boring man who’ll greet him with a megawatt smile, so unknowing of the world you come from. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. Your brother thinks you might be happy, if you just let yourself be.

There’s a silence that stretches between you as Grover tumbles to the ground in search of food up on stage, conveniently being caught and attended to by the prettiest naiads you’ve ever seen. You snort at the sight, but your brother’s dedicated to knowing what’s on your mind, continuing to whisper like an angel (or a devil) on your shoulder. 

The rest of this ceremonial shit doesn’t matter to him.

“Dex is not Luke.”

“He doesn’t have to be,” you say through an exhaled breath—he can tell you’re troubled by the idea of choosing to leave everything behind and start over, without them and without Luke, so he says just that—trying to feel out your brain and where it’s at. 

Your heart, however, is evading the matter.

“Now that it’s all over, you can start over again. Without us weighing you down.” 

Pollux watches you furrow your eyebrows, scrunching up your face in the way you do when you want to say no. But your expression is impassive in the next moment like a trick of the light, “I’d have to think about it. It just happened, after all.” 

Once again, Luke Castellan seems to have left you without a choice. What an asshole. 

But what do you want, anyway?

“There’s no time like now. You could if you wanted to.”

Why has every difficult decision you’ve had to make meant giving up something good? 

Shifting your weight onto your other hip, you grit, “Shit. I mean, what good is it to not have what I want?”

“Shit,” Pollux smirks with a knowing glance, “You tell me.” You grab his hand and squeeze it tightly, intertwining your fingers. No god can take away what you share with your brother. You both live this reality, after all—one where you have to go on because your other half cannot. The purpose of Pollux’s message might’ve gotten lost in translation, but the intention hit home. 

“Guess I’ve never thought of it that way.” 

Chuckling under your breath, you take a good look at everyone in this room—the roles they take, and the purpose they serve. There’s not much of a place for you here, not anymore, and Pollux thinks you know that too. You’ve done the best you could offer to the gods despite yourself and the children you’ve cared for. But he wants you to understand that you don’t need to worry about them anymore. All your dad and him do is worry about you anyway. 

“What if I never looked back?”

He bites the inside of his cheek, thinking of the right thing to say but the truth is much simpler, “I love you. That’s a good enough reason to, right?” You’re not sure if he means him or you—but still Pollux’s figure blurs in a vignette of moisture that overcomes your vision. 

Amid your hushed conversation, the room around you has gone silent and everyone’s eyes are suddenly focused on you, making you realize you’re the last demigod to be awarded. A crowd of cheers and war-hardened hands push you onto the central platform, out of the furnace, and into the fire. The spotlight overhead shines so brightly it makes you squint, amplifying the pulsing in your temples; it makes you sick. 

This was finally it—the honor, no, the glory of being recognized by the gods for doing your part and being a great example for all demigods. For fulfilling your duty to Camp Half-Blood. For choosing to protect your home, and keeping your promises. The Olympians look down at you with carefully crafted smiles and what you hope isn’t pity.

“Your gift is a permanent job with Camp Half-Blood. Full benefits, PTO, 401k, whatever you want, I can make it happen,” Zeus says with a grin as if he’s told you that continuing on the way you have would make your greatest dreams come true—like you’d wish for nothing more. 

Swallowing as he continues to prattle on, your figure retreats in itself, hunching over as if you’re hiding something from all of them. You are—the idea that Pollux put in your head festers like an open wound the more it ruminates.

“You’d have a spot here on Olympus too if you wish—our official liaison for demigod communications, actually—goddess of demigods! If Jackson doesn’t want it, it’s yours…” he grins dryly, a beat passing as if…

And like the speed of light, your head jerks up to meet Zeus’ eye to eye, a damning thing as you register that the king of the gods does not remember your name. Almost ten whole years of running around in the same circles and keeping his world upright, and he doesn’t know who you are—just your job, and the consequences you bring.

Something cracks within your resolve then and the pressure shatters like glass into tiny, shiny fractals until what you really want reveals itself to everyone in the room—the Council, the nymphs and naiads, and all of your friends who are staring at you with bated breath, sparkling under the lights. Your chest tightens like a Titan’s fist is wrapped around it; this is what Luke wanted, not nearly anything you’d ever imagined for yourself. He wanted this so-called glory, and the longer you listen to Zeus fumble over his words, only one thing becomes apparent—you just want Luke.  What you want is to be with the love of your life again, no matter what it takes. What you really want is a gift not even the gods can provide…

Unless…

Hera clears her throat, shaking her head in disappointment and simultaneously catching the fire ignited within your eyes—Hestia sees it too, standing up from the flames of her hearth in front of the platform. The former corrects her husband with a stern brow, “...that’s her name. You should ask the woman what she wants, dear.” Zeus repeats it, throwing your name around by the syllable like it’s foreign. Percy Jackson already denied godhood in exchange for a simple promise to be kept for the unclaimed. Anything left for you to choose can’t be that bad, right?

What’s the worst thing a daughter of Dionysus can ask the Olympians for, anyway?

The king of the gods taps his finger on the armrest of his baroque throne, repeating your name this time with a stroke of seriousness.

“Well then, out with it. What do you want as your gift?”

You look down at your feet, feeling Annabeth sneak up behind you to intertwine her fingers with yours—always six steps ahead. Her support is what you need to spit the words out without it feeling like a slur, to have the audacity to want something, someone so bad that the gravity of it weighs you down and makes your knees buckle—but not a single person in that room that really knows you is surprised by what you want. 

You want him, still. 

It is so human of you to still want Luke Castellan, to want your love in physical form even after he’s gone. Maybe they should’ve waited to ask you this question or maybe they shouldn’t have asked you at all—but the time it would take to get over the man who’d thrown his destiny away to save you is immeasurable. 

Growing up, so much of the time you shared with him was spent picturing what the rest of your lives together would look like, and that idea sticks to the forefront of your mind even now—a hole that pierces through the foundation of the walls you built up to try and forget him. Maybe life with Luke and what you’d had before was the real dream instead of something you’d have the opportunity to experience—it feels so far away from the life you live with Dex, who you’ll go home to once you scrape yourself off these marble floors. Somehow, time has passed and everyone in this room—including Luke, wherever the hell is now, has gotten exactly what they wanted except for you. 

What about what you want?

“What I want…” you mutter under your breath, before raising your eyes to meet Zeus’. There is not a single ounce of doubt or fear he can detect as he stares back into your pools of amethyst, hardened by equal parts stubbornness and determination.

“To be completely honest with you, Divine Zeus—all I want is the opportunity to die.”

—

Chaos breaks like the eye of a storm as your statement echoes in the open air of the Hall of Gods. Somewhere, Percy starts to laugh at your flair for the dramatics and Chris joins him until Clarisse jabs him in the gut despite the twisted look that overcomes her face. You hear your father yell his disagreement from his throne, grapes rolling off the gilded vines that adorn it and they bounce towards your feet. The hilarity of all of it makes you smile.

It shouldn’t, of course—your dad looks like he’s about to wreak havoc on Earth itself, but he chooses his words carefully, so quietly under his breath that you almost don’t hear.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Dionysus walks toward you with outstretched hands, beckoning you to him. The strain he puts in keeping his composure reopens the cut on his forehead. Golden droplets drip down past his eye like a stroke of lightning, and your eyes glaze over, lost in a memory. All of your surroundings seem to move slowly then, everyone losing their shit and he just takes a moment to appraise his little girl who in the blink of an eye, is not so little anymore. 

“Dionysus, your daughter better have a good explanation for this!” his father yells, but Mr. D pays him no mind. Hermes is the first and fastest to put your plan together, looking at you with a reverence no would expect a god to have for a mortal. Grover’s picking up the grapes to munch on while Percy pulls at his arm to back away from the center platform. Aphrodite’s swooning over the thought of your devotion, and Athena looks at you holding her daughter’s hand—the both of you strengthened by ambition instead of deterred, making her scoff in amusement. Hera is laughing at the frustration on her husband’s face as he sputters, attempting to regain control of the room. 

The sheer audacity you present yourself with is laughable even to you until you realize that this is the most yourself you've felt in a long time—here in front of the Olympian Council, with the bold request of choosing death over immortality. You were brave once—gutsy even, when you were fourteen. And this feels like that—like coming home. 

A hand clasps your other shoulder. 

Pollux. 

For a moment, you look around the room wildly until you remember Luke’s not here to see this. You hope he’d be proud.

“SILENCE!”

Your father’s voice booms overhead, calming the chaos with a snap of his fingers as everyone has the words choked out of them like a water spout gone dry. Zeus rises to the challenge then, regarding you with an odd curiosity, “You know we can’t bring that boy back. The atrocities he’s committed, the choices he made—” 

“I’m not denying any of that. I guess all I’m asking for is a chance. I’ll take any consequences that come with it.”

No matter how bloodied the path was to get there Luke has always made sure that he gets what he wants, in one way or another—at the cost of sparing no one, not even himself.

“Child, do you think this makes you a hero? Do you think you can go down in history as someone who chooses to die instead of live? Don’t you want to be something more?” His voice booms so loudly that you wince.

“I never needed to be a hero, Divine. I am loved. That is better than any glory I care to receive—I mean look around you,” you exclaim, gesturing around the room, “Your kids don’t want glory. They want love.” Breathing shakily, you look pointedly at all of the gods, emboldened by the momentum of getting it all out once and for all.

“I’m 23 years old. I’ve spent almost ten years of knowing Luke by loving him, even if five of those years were also spent missing him,” you say and your voice shakes with emotion, “To you that’s nothing, but I want that time back, even if I have to go and get it myself… That’s what I want.”

Hades speaks to you for the first time that morning, a simple question falling from his lips.

“Why would you go through all of that trouble?”

You can’t help it— you laugh in the face of the most powerful beings in the universe. For a moment it was like hearing your name in the distance but in reality... it was always the answer; your father knows from the crooked smile that grows on your face that your decision was made up from the second they walked in to watch Luke Castellan take his last breath. Then and there, you decided you would give up yours—and he hates that he understands it so deeply. He was the one who told you so long ago that love is insanity. He himself has done unimaginable things for love. So he’d be a fool to hold you back from someone you truly want.

“The only thing I am sure about myself is that I have nothing left in me but love. And that love gives me what it will take to die.”

“You followed him to Hesperides, all those years ago,” Hermes interrupts with a wistful look on his face, “Do you know what this means—you think you can cheat death?” He is, after all, the guide of all souls. It isn’t rare for someone to try to venture into the Underworld, but it is rare to come back in one piece.

“No. But I can’t not try.”

Zeus bristles once more—insulted by this tirade of human emotion.

“Dionysus, say something! You cannot allow this!”

Ares butts in, “Your ambition’s gonna be the death of you kid. I vote yes!” Zeus slams his fists against the armrests, cracking them in the process, but then Hades raises a hand, “Hold on, my domain, my rules.”

“Brother, you cannot be serious! You’re just gonna let this girl walk in there with no—”

 “We promised to grant the demigods their wishes, and if this is what she wants—well it’s her funeral,” he chuckles at the irony, “Luke Castellan is waiting for his trial at the judgment pavilion as we speak. If you make it before he crosses the threshold for rebirth—he’s yours.”

You swallow, “And the catch?”

The god of the dead quirks his lip into something that resembles a smile. He’s always liked how sharp you were, never letting anything get by you, “You must both drink from the River Lethe and the pool of Mnemosyne. No outside help, only your spirit will go down for the journey. Do that and you earn a consultation at the palace—and I’ll grant you both a single wish. Anything you want.”

“What if they don’t make it back?” Annabeth says sternly, though you know she’s looking at this from every angle—it’s better than the instinctive yes that almost escapes your mouth.

“If you fail to convince him to drink, or if you don’t fulfill our deal, you will find Asphodel to be a lovely resting place. Forever.”

Taking a deep breath, you nod. You know the odds of what you’re signing up for—but your dad’s still looking at you like you’re the last drop of whiskey. He wants to savor this for as long as he can before he has to let you go.

“I can’t… you’re my daughter. I-I can’t allow this…Hestia, is this my debt? My retribution for taking your seat?”

The aforementioned goddess chuckles softly, like sparks of cinders as she drifts over to him, unafraid of breaking any remaining protocol—all of it is thrown to the wind as she pats her nephew’s back, “Dionysus, you are still young compared to the rest of us, and yet you’ve raised her to be the woman she is today. My darling, she is your reward.”

“And you want this, princess?”

“He’s my Ariadne, dad,” you say through a shaky breath, “Let this be my quest,” you beg—you’d get on your knees if he wanted to, shovel all the pegasi shit for the next 100 years if only you had the time, “please.”

Your father nods solemnly. Fate has a way of fooling even the greatest of the gods.

“I do enjoy a good love story. I think you deserve to write your own ending, my sweet,” the goddess of love smiles lazily as she rests upon her palm. The rest of the council murmurs in approval despite Zeus’ insistence that this is not a group decision.

But this story has been told thousands of times before, spanning different millennia, different lifetimes, and different lovers. Everyone in this room has seen how it ends. You were, however, never someone who could resist a good story.

To be or not to be, right? —that is the question.

Guess you were about to find out.

—

There are a lot of ways that a person can die—but when someone makes the choice, it usually means you have the time to think about it. 

Completely serious matter, yes—irreversible? 

Questionable. Of course, you don’t have either the time or liberty to mull these things over. Luke could be a toe into the gates of Elysium by now, and the thought of missing him makes your stomach into a pit you could compare to Tartarus. 

It’s weird to say goodbye and not want to mean it. Even weirder that all of your friends couldn’t say anything other than good luck as you were ushered through Olympus and put into a room to die. Words don’t come easy when you’re unsure of the outcome and death looks different when you’re the daughter of the divine form of insanity. The flame within your soul is lit by what defines him and so it is agreed upon that it should also be the reason for your end. 

This is just a journey—Dionysus tells himself. Death is just a journey of millions of souls returning to dust, star stuff finding their way home. A journey he’s taken before, not once, but twice, and would again if you asked him. How bittersweet is it that you are exactly made in his image, and how blind was he to not realize that when you first came to camp almost a decade ago? If only he could’ve cherished that more in the early years—the stupid pranks, the incessant laughter, and the sound of your voice at nightly sing-a-longs. Your dad knows that he’d face death a million times if it meant that you didn’t have to.

You used to hate it—the similarities that stuck you two like a reflection in a mirror. The feeling of feeding off of other people’s turmoil, or how drink flows through your fingertips as soon as the thought of thirst is formed. It wasn’t comparable to wisdom or war—conjuring mayhem wasn’t cool like Percy breathing underwater, or how Lee used to pull sunlight through the clouds. 

It didn’t come easy, being your father’s daughter.

But as you lay your head onto his lap, you realize that there is no one else you’d want to be. He’s since changed back into his trademark patterned shirt—visions of palm trees and hibiscus dancing in your vision as you get comfortable in his arms, breathing steadily as he strokes your head. 

“I wish we had the time to make it home,” you whisper, “It would’ve been nice to be on the docks, listening to the water.” There’s a tentative quality to your statement, feeling out the silence that’s been enveloping the both of you since you walked out of the main hall. You’re not used to seeing your dad so serious; it’s almost jarring that he’s not being a menace or calling you batshit for your latest—and last crazy idea.

He bites though, murmuring, “That your favorite spot at Camp? Would’ve thought you’d be buried under the covers at the cabin.” Dionysus swallows hoarsely, voice faltering as he comes to think of you being buried under anything. 

“Nuh-uh,” you say through a bitten lip, “I’ve always liked Canoe Lake. Lots of good memories there.”

“What’s your favorite one? Billie Holiday at the cost of Luke’s pocket change?” your dad gruffs, “Or what about falling into the lake after that time you fought over the flag?”

Dionysus hates this—feeling powerless at the hands of mortals. Gods aren’t meant to feel this way, but out of all of them, he understands best because he knows this story. 

He was this story: a demigod boy scorned by his father who wanted nothing but to rescue his mother from hell and who willingly gave up his life for the woman he loved. If there’s one thing he still admires Luke Castellan for—it’s letting him keep you safe while he went off to wreak havoc on the world. Sure, it’s selfish, but the kid has a good heart if all it was made up of was you. The courage of stars and souls is that even time cannot stop them from finding where they are meant to be. To love someone so much that it transcends timelines and angers the gods—your father finds himself ruminating over the fact that Luke’s someone was you. 

Of course, it’s you. 

He looks down at your position as if you’ll crumble into a pillar of salt in the mere seconds it takes to blink. There’s so much hope in your eyes that it batters into his resolve as if you’ve swung into his ribcage with a sledgehammer— it tears down any doubt he might have that you will not come back safely. At least Castor would have company, he thinks morosely—Pollux is somewhere running around the compound trying to find an iPhone charger. Dionysus just wants to sit with his baby and be.

The goblet is heavy in your hands as you look at the golden liquid within. Nectar heals the body and soul, but in excessive quantities—it burns. So much so that demigods that overdose feel their sanity melt away from their brains and separate their souls from the body until there is nothing left but the memory of who they once were.

What a way to go, right?

“Is it gonna hurt?” you say suddenly, cracking your knuckles and tugging at your sweater and he knows what you mean to say is that you’re scared. This is the first time you’ll do something for yourself, by yourself, without your support system. 

“Not if I can help it,” your dad sniffs, “Hermes is gonna meet you once you cross over since it’s not my job to be down there anymore. I’m gonna be with you for as long as I can… Where the fuck is your brother?”

Laughter spills from your lips as you start to drink anyway like it’s a glass of wine after dinner—thick syrupy sweetness slides down your throat. It tastes like crisp apples and the carbonated tang of Redbull, making your eyes water from the punch that hits every one of your pores, “Don’t want him to see. I don’t…” In through your nose, out through your mouth. 

“He saw Castor when he…I don’t want him to see.”

Clutching at your father’s shirt sleeve, his hand gently tilts the goblet further toward your mouth as you take the nectar in painstaking gulps. You’re shaking now, skin hot to the touch under his fingertips as you start to gasp heavily. He models how to breathe slowly, waving away the brushfire that spreads through your veins as best as he can, “It’s gonna be okay, princess. Just breathe.” If your senses weren’t overflooded with flashing red lights, maybe you would notice that he was crying.

“Say it, dad.”

“I love you,” he chokes out then, holding onto you as your body seizes in his grasp. You’re shaking your head, exasperated that you can’t get the right words out when you need them most, “I know that. Say you…I need,” you dry heave, sweat dripping down your face and turning molten to the touch. He still doesn’t let go. 

“D-Dad, d… I need…” 

It comes out in a whimper, and he shushes you, hugging you close, “Anything for you, my heart.”

“Need you to…believe in me.” Nectar gurgles in your throat as you’re white-knuckled around the goblet, forcing yourself to get the rest of the drink down. This won’t work if your dad doesn’t believe it will. You need him out of anyone to believe in you—to believe that you can do this.

With your eyelashes fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings he laughs through the tears; of course, he believes in you, he always has. The sound of his laughter hits your system like the whistle of a freight train, breaking through your ribcage and releasing the pressure as you let it all go in one deep breath. 

Despite the discomfort, you find that death does not hurt—it feels like holding your father’s hand. 

You squeeze him three times for a silent I love you because you won’t let yourself die without saying it back. Dionysus, your father in this lifetime, and hopefully all the ones that come after, leans closely toward your ear to tell you what you need to hear to get to your life’s quest that can only begin after he has to let you go.

“You are my heart’s joy—the most stubborn person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. I know you can love that boy back to life.”

Death feels like an endless summer in your mind, of pine trees in the North Woods, toasty smores over a crackling fire, and sand between your toes as you run along the shoreline. As your thoughts fade to nothingness and your body is erased from the mortal realm, you think that your favorite memory of camp is floating in the bubble bath you made of Canoe Lake on a summer day nine years ago.

—ANABASIS—

When you open your eyes, all you see is bright yellow and all you can smell is leather disinfectant. You’re in the passenger seat of a taxicab, and behind the gaudy blue dice pendant that dangles on the rearview mirror is Hermes. He pulls his lips into a tired smile, scratching at his goatee as the vehicle speeds down the side of the River Styx. The windows are rolled down and the wind is blowing back against your face.

“I thought you couldn’t meddle,” you croak, dry mouth from sleeping with it open catching up to you. You snap a finger…and nothing happens. Any trace of your father stayed up in the mortal realm with him; his best friend hands you a chilled water bottle to quench your thirst. 

“Your dad said you’d be thirsty.” 

Twisting the cap open, you gulp the cool liquid down with ease as you watch the Underworld pass you through side windows. Cerberus is almost galloping playfully along the side of the car a ways back, all three heads getting smacked by its lolling tongues as he barks in greeting.

What a cutie. 

Something’s under your butt—when you dig a hand into your pocket, you find a bright red ball. You smile at the thought of Annabeth Chase placing a squeaky toy on your shroud, just in case. You don't get to bring anything in death other than what's in your heart, and pure Greek tradition, what’s placed underneath your shroud. As you toss it out the window for Cerberus to chase it into the Fields of Mourning, he barks happily, an echo of booms that follow him into the distance. Hermes takes the chance to speak, his eyes flickering to the acceptance on your face. You’re in the Underworld now, and like the EZ-Death line of souls the car passes, you take this news in stride.

“He’s already dead. You— you’re a special case. Had to do something, even if it’s too late.”

“It’s not. It can’t be,” you insist, bravely at first, until you lose your nerve by the end of it, “I…” Drumming your fingers against your lap, Hermes can’t help but snicker, “You know, you’ve always had such an innate sense of how to take care of other people, but never yourself—it reminds me of your dad.”

“How is he?”

Hermes purses his lips. That’s as much an answer as you’ll get from his best friend, so you nod, “Luke’s the opposite, I think. He always knew how to take care of himself, just…he tried his hardest with me.”

Down in the underworld, the sky takes on a tawny hue with grey clouds overhead, and there are no signs of whether it’s day or night. You wonder if you still have enough time—if he’s there at the pavilion, waiting for you. The car jets past Asphodel, and you slink back down in your seat to avoid the view when you remember Hades’ conditions. 

If Luke’s already moved on, that’s where you’ll be.

Hermes is skipping through every song that comes onto the radio—the incessant noises make you want to grind your teeth but you remind yourself he's doing you a favor, in his own way.

“He never fooled you, that kid. You knew exactly what he was and you still loved him anyway. Me and my kids aren’t exactly easy to love, aren’t we?”

You shrug. Small talk is weird—now’s not exactly the time to be close with Luke’s father, and you’re not trying to impress him or anything anymore.

“I don’t think love is easy or hard. Sometimes it just is.”

The car rolls to a stop and you push yourself up on your palms. The judgment pavilion is in the near distance and you realize you’ll have to run the rest of the way. But you don’t move, even when the taxicab is put in park.

“This is your stop,” he says slowly, flicking the button that unlocks the car doors, “I really do mean it when I say that I wish you good luck.” Your eyes soften at that, and when you swallow, you recognize the weight of your two necklaces resting against your collarbone. He can tell you’re scared, but there’s no time to feel anything if you want to catch him. 

Take that quite literally—there’s no time here in the underworld. Hermes says your name gently, and you look at him. If Luke were here, you think he’d be braver than you—running out to fight the unknown if it meant he could take you home. But your hand is frozen on the handle and your legs feel like they’re cemented to the ground.

“After he… He was worried about you.”

“What? Really?” 

You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face the god, hesitation making way for shock. Hermes blinks. He technically shouldn’t say more, but there’s nothing left to lose.

”He was worried about what you’d do if he wasn’t there when you woke up. Luke asked if I was sure you’d be able to find him.”

“And what did you say?”

With a subtle move of his fingers, your car door pushes open, and you step out onto the dusty gravel. His father salutes you with two fingers, “Told him you were coming for him.”

“I am,” you chuckle, slamming the door shut and beginning to run. Worry wracks your entire essence—if it’s even possible for a spirit to feel this intensely it might not be normal, but nothing about you is, even here.

“Hey!” Hermes calls out, his upper half hanging out the car window, “If…When you find him, do you think I’d get another chance?”

You turn unsteadily on your feet, looking at him with the roguishness he knew his son fell for, throwing your hands up in the air, “If this somehow works out, I think anything’s possible don’t you?”

Clouds of dust prickle at your ankles as you race back toward everything you’ve ever wanted.

—

Stuck somewhere in the in-between, you trudge toward the entrance of the judgment pavilion—a large titanium structure that stretches towards the heavens quite ominously. The closer you get to it the more your feet feel like sinking into quicksand, your paces getting slower and your legs moving like molasses, but you aren’t lost. It seems to somehow be getting farther the more you run, but maybe your stepmother’s blessing still reaches you down here in the dim wasteland she was doomed to—until Dionysus himself, your father, came down to search every corner of the Underworld and brought her back to life. He’s in there. He has to be.

You can do it, you mumble to yourself. 

You can do this too.

Or maybe the gods are laughing at the mortal woman who was too much like her father, laughing at how stubborn you are trying to save a paradox of a man who almost brought down Olympus. Unlike your father though, there is less bloodshed in your quest to find him, less anger at the gods for having to forsake glory for love. 

But you were never a fighter anyway, not in the traditional sense. The Battle of Manhattan was one you fought in and despite the winning outcome, it felt like anything but. The biggest battle you’d won was hoping he’d still be yours until the very end. Until his very last breath, and then some—if you’re as lucky as his father tells you. 

You almost trip over the stoop, flailing underneath the archway as if someone pushed you straight in front of the lone spirit who’s working on fixing the bulletin board. Catching your breath, you wheeze, “Excuse me, sir—have you seen a boy….uh, or a man? Not sure how time works here…I’m under direct orders from Hades hi—”

“It doesn’t.”

“Hm,” you attempt to sound thoughtful, but the non-answer of the wispy shade that peels letters off the bulletin board painstakingly slowly does not help ease your stress.

“Well, whatever he looks like now, he should have a scar running down the right side of his face…Um…he should at least,” you hesitate. And it hits you just now that you gave your life up not knowing what comes next. Without a semblance of a plan you ran to the underworld fueled by pure spite. Your eyes travel to the board the figure in front of you is still working tirelessly on, letter by letter. The metal clinks as it falls into the bucket.

NOW SERVING:

LUKE CASTE–

Wait a fucking second. Maybe the gods had the right to laugh at you. You push forward, almost ramming the specter into the wall behind him, for a moment you thought you’d run straight through but then your fists are grabbing his shirt, “Where is he?” The bucket falls to the floor with a heavy clang as his eyes widen.

“WHERE IS HE?”

The translucent man shrugs under your rough grasp with no sense of urgency, “He’s on a journey. Aren’t we all?”

Gods have mercy, you’ve never wanted to beat a stranger’s face in so badly—you drop him in exasperation and he crumbles to the floor, “Tell me his sentence. Now.”

“Boy said he was taking the long way home. Skipped the trial completely. Didn’t want Elysium, but he had to go through it to find rebirth. Northeast from h—” 

You don’t need to hear anything else. You’re running away, hands and feet almost flying the faster you go around the perimeter of the building in hopes that you’ll still catch a glimpse of this stupid, stubborn man who does anything for you but never with you. 

Maybe he’s still yours, even here, even now.

There’s a river you have to cross that intersects the courtyard behind the judgment pavilion. It flows towards Elysium with clear crystalline water going upstream and as your eyes follow it, you think you see him in the distance. 

You know it’s him. You could recognize that back anywhere—having spent so many years staring at it as he continued to walk away. As your mouth falls agape, you’re at a loss for words. It can’t be that easy to defy the gods and get what you want, finally, finally—-but the longer you watch him walk towards Elysium with a skip in his step, you falter. 

What makes dragging him out of here any different than what he did to you? 

You’re rooted to the ground then, taking deep breaths as you think of what to do next. Back then, Luke was always the blind devotee, hands and knees bruised from prayer, until the truth was the only sound that echoes back. You never understood it—another wayward child forced to bend under the gods’ will. No one should make a religion out of someone, but as you watch him smile in the fields of death itself…he is your answered prayer.

Seeing that he’s okay is enough—that he hadn’t been damned to Tartarus sets you at ease, worry leaving your body on the exhale of breath that you let go. If you turn around now, well, maybe an eternity in Asphodel would be alright too. You could pick a good spot on the outskirts. Forever might be nice if it means you’d get to look at the gates of Elysium itself for all of it, branches reaching for him until the end of time. 

But Luke hasn’t seen you yet. Does he feel you reaching for him? The twisted coil of fate that yearns for him, the sting in the back of your throat in the form of his name, wanting to bridge the gap from the short distance that separates you. Between life and death, somehow the short traverse of barren land feels to stretch much further than that. 

You turn slowly and walk away, muddied boots grating against the dust with every atom of your spirit resistant as if it fights the magnetic pull it was meant for. He doesn’t even have to know. Meeting him again means you run the risk of losing him again. You’re not quite sure you have it in you; so you walk away this time. This time, you won’t have to watch.

But then you hear him call out to you.

“Hey! It’s you!”

Faster now, faster. 

Your legs move unsteady and your clenched fists propel you forward. Maybe they’ll let you skip the EZ line and get this all over with—Asphodel is the only place you can be with all of this regret. 

But fuck, he’s persistent, even in death. Before you know it—he’s caught up to you, the sound of splashing water making you jerk back towards him in alarm, “Luke! You can’t do that!” He’s grabbed onto your shoulders and the simple touch makes you gasp. Bone-chilling fear wracks through your body as your eyes drink him in, watching the moisture darken his Converse, all the way up to the knees of his cargo pants. He blinks as if his mind is a rewinding cassette and you wonder if the River Lethe has a stronger hold on him now than you ever had.

“Who?”

And out of everything he’s told you in your lifetime to hurt you—that one word is what breaks you the most.

His eyes swiftly move over your face, dark brown and soft like that of a lifetime ago; one of bruised knees, hushed lullabies, and kisses that taste like strawberries. But there’s not a single ounce of recognition in his stare and you wonder if you’re close enough to launch yourself into Tartarus. Maybe you’re already there— he’s standing here in front of you a little lighter, and a lot unknowing. 

“Am I Luke?” he whispers with a playful tone like it’s a secret you share even if there’s no one else around you for miles. He looks at you again, slowly this time—eyes pouring over you, in case your figure is an illusion or a great temptation such as sweet pomegranate seeds before spring. Luke’s eyebrows furrow like he’s trying hard to remember something; it stabs at your heart like he did his.

“Forget it.”  

‘Wait, don’t go,” he starts, sounding bashful as one of his hands tugs at the sleeve of your sweater, the other curled around the nape of his neck, “I uh…the judges made me drink before I left the pavilion. I didn’t even stand a chance. Sorry to disappoint.” He chuckles, and it's a wispy sound that tickles your insides; you find your lips turning up at the sound. Luke, or whoever he is now, finds himself in awe at the sight, muttering under his breath, “I think I’ve dreamt of you before.”

For someone whose mind was washed by the River Lethe, Luke Castellan stares into your soul as he tries to get a glimpse of why you’re so familiar. Looking at you feels like the moments of a dream before he wakes up—a sliver of memory just as Morpheus pulls the rug out from under him. He’s seen your face before and he knows this, somehow.

“I just… I don’t even know why I ran over here, probably looked stupid jumping into the riverbed.. but uh…” he chuckles, biting his lip before blowing a raspberry. His mind is working faster than his mouth, “I just…wow. You’re beautiful.”

Luke’s still holding onto the threads of your sweater even as you try to put distance between you. He holds onto you like a kid catches fireflies, gentle and secure with no space between his fingertips, in case you fly away. 

“I’m no one. Just forget this happened, will you?” Recoiling in what he hopes is not disgust, you turn your cheek, “Have a good life.” Wherever he is on his journey, Luke finds that there are things he knows and things he does not. He knows that he’s a human who died pretty young, someone with a jagged scar that runs down his face, and that his socks are uncomfortably wet inside of his Converse right now. What he doesn’t know is why his plans have suddenly changed, and why every wisp of his incorporeal being does not want to leave you alone. There is something he still has to do.

“Hold on, pretty girl!” Luke says incredulously, “You want me to just…look away now that I’ve seen you? I’m sorry, but no can do.” He holds onto your arm how two people share a lifeline —-it almost makes you want to sock him in the face if you weren’t on the brink of tears.

“And why the fuck not? I’ve got things to do.”

The foul language doesn’t deter him one bit; in fact, it makes him like you even more, “Things to do? Here? Maybe there is no rest for the dead.” You’ve ripped yourself out of his grasp and he dramatically puts a hand over his heart like you’ve wounded him, but by now, you’re stomping away, “You’re funny.”

And he follows you. 

“Am I?”

“No,” you scoff, stopping in your tracks and not turning around. For a reason unbeknownst to him, Luke wants you to, badly. Kicking at a rock, you sniff, “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

You’re walking along the river in the same direction you came from and he’s stuck to you like a shadow. You move right, and so does he. You stop walking, and so does he.

“Where are you headed?”

Spinning frustratedly with your whole body, you look up at him like he’s stupid. Maybe he is—was. He has a feeling you’ll tell him anyway.

“You’re being stupid. Go away.”

There we are—he’s grinning at you now, a spark of satisfaction running through him like a match to gasoline, “Can I at least know your name?”

“Not important. Do you think if I pick a spot in Asphodel and stand long enough, I’ll grow roots?”

Luke frowns at the sentiment, “After everything you’ve lived for, you want Asphodel?” He sounds so disappointed in you that you do punch him this time. Your fist is clenched, landing against his abdomen with an oomph that pushes out of his chest. 

“What I want is none of your business.”

“Well I got what I wanted,” he shrugs, like nothing of the sort, tricking you to look into his eyes for the first time in his new existence. His smile softens, almost as if his breath was taken away by the sight of them. Luminous, even in a place with no life or real light. Like a twinkling dusk that he wants to sink into. 

They dart away too soon for his liking, pulling back to him only when he speaks again, “This is gonna sound crazy but…”

“I know crazy, trust me. You’d never believe what I have to tell you,” you mutter with a ghost of a smile—the high he gets from chasing it would be unhealthy if he already weren’t dead.

“Try me.”

“Fine. I knew you. Before. It’s all I’m allowed to say. And I need you to trust me, or I’ll be stuck here forever,” you say under your breath, “But that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Luke says passively, a nod of his head—does he not know what to make of what you just told him? Or does he think the idea of forever in a place like this is alright for a person he barely knows okay?

The element of surprise isn’t lost on him even here, “So what do we have to do?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose then, breathing slowly through your mouth, “Did you not just hear what I said?”

“I did, and I think even in our past life, you must have severely underestimated me,” Luke chortles, grabbing your hand instinctively until he realizes what he’s doing. Even if he’s a little lost, he watches closely as his fingers clasp around yours almost in greeting, like it’s muscle memory, not a handshake but something sacred and secure— it’s a relief to hold your hand and he doesn’t know why, but he also doesn’t let go.

Your mouth falls agape with a shuddering breath, “You always kept me on my toes, that’s for sure.” There’s a pinched quality to your voice and Luke decides to tell you the reason he ran across the River Lethe in the first place.

“I do,” he swallows, “trust you, I mean. I don’t know why, but I just do. I just really wanted to see the color of your eyes…” Luke trails off. Can you feel it? he wonders—a stretching, growing feeling that unearths itself from the pits of your existence, calling for you to stay together like this as if there is no other way to be.

“And what do you think now?” your voice wavers as your fingers subconsciously tighten around his, a rough, scarred palm feeling much more real in his grasp.

“Waking up to them must have been Elysium in itself.”

Falling to your knees, you busy yourself with cupping the water from the river instead of entertaining the overwhelming urge you have to kiss him. Out of the corner of your eyes, he watches you like how he used to hover at camp—wanting to help but also letting you do your thing, an outstretched hand in case you need it.

“I drink…and I’ll forget you,” you say to him, realizing your instructions also have to be your final act of letting go, “and then you take me to the pool of the Mnemosyne under the poplar tree, and we drink from it together.”

“And then?” he murmurs, sitting next to you to cup your hands to your lips. Your mouth begins to water as if the tastebuds on your tongue yearn to forget all of life’s transgressions too. And you watch him the whole while, letting him, trusting him. 

“It’ll be me and you, and whatever comes next.”

Do you trust him? After everything?

“That sounds nice,” he hums, watching the faraway look in your eyes and wanting to join you where your mind is at, in knowing. 

You love him—that in itself is trust. 

Love is the strongest faith you’ve ever cared to know, and both of you are holding it to your lips with matching smiles on your faces. You don’t know what comes next, but this feeling frees you from the worry that’s been weighing you down with every step you took to find him again.

So, is love in this world a gift, or a curse?

Love can be found everywhere and made into everything if one tries hard enough.

Love is biting into the fruit,

Love is turning around,

Love is giving him the knife,

Love is a kiss on the cheek,

Love is reaching for the sun,

Love is making an impossible journey—neither of you is running from this, catching your breath until the air between your lips intermingles with familiarity, harmonious and in tandem. Two spirits share the secret of a life lived and the love that was shared as one wants to forget and the other wants to remember. There are no words that can explain the way your shrill laughter makes the recognition slightly glaze over his eyes like sweet honey, and he looks toward the poplar tree in the distance, itching to take you there afterward. 

In case this is the last time in all of eternity that you’ll set your eyes upon Luke Castellan, you set your forehead against his ever so gently, a kiss of skin against skin as the water ripples from your shallow breaths. 

“I’ll meet you at the poplar tree.”

He nods, and the liquid reaches your parched lips, all of your thoughts dissipating into the air around you. There are no names in this place, no status or glory and memories fade, like sprinkles of rain against your skin, sending shockwaves to your system as you’re fighting to hold on to every wave of nostalgia before it’s taken away. Luke’s smile is like sunlight as he watches the river wash over you completely, and then you settle into his arms as if falling asleep. Neither of you knows the answer to the question that’s tested by time, but here, time does not exist. 

For once, it finally might even be on your side. 

“I think I’ve been waiting for you,” Luke murmurs, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear as he waits for you to wake, for the hummingbird flutter of your eyelashes to reveal your eyes in all of their ethereal glory. This prophecy was laid out and this love was self-fulfilling damnation and he smiles as your breath shifts, hands reaching out to pat him softly as if checking if he was still there even unconsciously, even without knowing him. 

Time stands still here with you in his arms, and Luke is at peace with not knowing all the answers to the universe’s questions if it means he has you to face whatever’s next. Perhaps the answer is clear for others, but until then—whenever that may be, you have all the time to figure it out.

Together.

—

“What though the radiance which was once so bright

Be now forever taken from my sight,

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower,

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind.” - William Wordsworth

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sum of All 16

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Steve Rogers

Part of the mob drabbles au

Summary: you are given an unexpected assignment.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You hate that feeling. The world moves around you as you wade up from the depths, a dizziness spirals behind your eyes, and you twitch as your come to. You’re head hangs back as Steve carries your limp body through the halls, footsteps steady and set to course. 

You grunt and spasm as you lift your head, further disoriented by the motion. You grab onto his shoulder as you feel as if you’ll fall. His cheek dimples as he smirks and lets out an amused snort. 

“Morning--” 

You don’t let him finish as you flick his throat and wriggle around in his arms. He coughs and drops your legs as he cradles his neck. You spin away from his other arm and barrel away from him. You don’t know what you’re doing, or why, it’s a really stupid thing, but you’re not really in a place where you can stop and think right now. 

You pump your arms as your footsteps echo around you down the airy halls. Oh no, oh no, oh no. You’ve seen what Steve can do and you know he won’t hesitate, especially after you’ve given him a reason. 

Why did you do that? Really? Why? You can’t outrun him. Your lungs are already burning. 

You need to hide. Somewhere... 

You skid to a halt and grab onto the closest door handle. You lean into it and fall through, crashing into the floor. You crawl away and kick the door, breathless as you splay on the carpet. 

You push yourself up and listen for him. You move carefully to the wall beside the door, keeping the light off so as not to give away your hiding spot. You close your eyes and focus. 

He’s coming. You hear him. You don’t like that. His steps are calm and even. Your heart pounds in your chest. You cover your mouth to smother any squeaks that might slip out. 

As he passes the door, you lean into the wall, hoping to disappear into it. His sole scuffs and he stops a few feet away. You wait until you’re sure he’s at the end of the hall. You deflate and place your palms on the floor. 

Shit. What the heck are you going to do now? You shake your head as another spell threatens to override your consciousness. You blink and try to figure out where to go from here. He’s your ride. You don’t even really know where you are. 

You reach for your phone but it’s not tucked into your waistband. Shoot. You must have dropped it in the gazebo. You’re a chump! 

You stand by the door, listening, rapt for a single pin drop. You push down the handle and gently urge it inward. If you go in the opposite direction-- 

Before you can take one step out, you’re thrown back into the darkness. You hit something and it scrapes over the floor. The door slams as you roll onto your stomach and push yourself up on your elbows. Your ribs rack as you fight to get a breath. 

“You think I’m that stupid?” Steve snarls as he comes toward you. 

You feel around and crawl around the piece of furniture beside you. He follows you, calmly. He knows you have nowhere to go. Just like he said, he’s playing with you. 

“Pl-ease,” you gulp as you put a hand down only for it to be crushed. You squeal as he grounds his heel into your hand then steps over you. “Ow, Steve—I didn’t-- I---” 

“Shhhh,” he falls down to his knees and straddles you, knocking you back to your stomach. “Look, I don’t wanna be mean, sweetheart.” He runs his hands around your jaw and along your cheeks. He bunches your hair in his hands and bends over you. “I really wanna be nice with you.” He yanks on his fistful.  

You put your hand on his and whine, “I’m sorry I hurt--” 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he quiets you. “Sweetheart, don’t make me be the bad guy.” 

You whimper as he drags his hands from your hair and down your back. He retreats along your body, his hands grazing your sides and hips. He grips you and lifts your ass high. You slap your hands on the floor as he puts you on your knees. 

“You can speak when you’re ready to beg,” he snarls as he tickles along your skirt and tugs up the hem. 

You wince and your eyes round as the darkness speckles around you. What is he doing? He pushes the fabric above your ass and hums. He covers your ass with his hands and spreads it. You squeak as you feel his warm breath on your thighs. 

He pushes his face against you, nuzzling into your panties as you gasp. Your legs quiver and your arms shake. You lean on your elbows as you try to pull away from him. He squeezes your hips and moves his head back and forth as if to burrow into you. He growls and it unfurls through your body. 

You squeal and reach back to push on his head. Hello! He can’t just do that. 

“Steve!” You squall. 

He hushes you and it sends a ripple down your thighs. You whimper as your fingers weave into his hair. Oh, oh, that shouldn’t feel good. 

He pushes his tongue against your panties and you feel the moisture seeping through. You squeeze your legs together as you try to deter him and blink at floor. Stay awake! For just this one time! 

He flutters his fingers up your leg and traces the trim of your panties. He pulls them aside and without meaning to, you pull him closer. He purrs and flicks his tongue down your cunt as he tilts his head. His beard tickles you and sends another shiver through you. 

He rocks you as he laps you up, sucking and groaning, the noises stirring in your core. You gasp and gulp as he hooks his hand under your stomach and keeps you close. He shifts his hand down to your skirt and slides under the top of your panties. He rolls his pinky over your clit as he pokes his tongue along your entrance. 

“I-- I---” you sputter, no longer foggy but fully awake and aware of every nerves storming inside of you. 

He lifts you off your knees and you whine, your hand slipping from his hair. You slam it down on the floor as he angles your hips above your head, pushing your legs over his shoulders as he continues to drink you in. As you hang upside down, keeping yourself aloft on bent arms, you warble with the brewing delight of his tending. 

He glides down to your clit and toys with it between his teeth. He sucks until the pressure swells and you grasp onto one of his thighs. You quake as you chuff out your orgasm, legs clamped around his head as you spasm. 

“St-e-eve,” you exclaim. 

He growls and chuckles before he draws away, the cool air grazing your hot cunt. He drags his hand up your back and taps your ass. 

“You still with me, sweetheart?” He rasps. 

[holdmytesseract]

moodboard by @chennqingg | divider by @fictive-sl0th

Biker!Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader | No Outbreak AU

Warnings for this Chapter: 18+! MDNI! thirst, smut - not entirely graphic, but oh boy, it's there!

Word Count: 1.6k

a/n: So, uh... I'm pretty nervous about this chapter, since smut isn't really something I write on a daily basis, so... I hope this turned out okay! 👉🏻👈🏻

《 M a s t e r l i s t 》

《 Chapter One 》《 Chapter Three 》

Chapter Two...

... in which you spent a passionate night with the handsome biker.

A little bit older A black leather jacket A bad reputation Insatiable habits He was onto me, one look and I couldn't breathe

'My Oh My' by Camila Cabello feat. DaBaby

Feeling a wave of nervousness but also anticipation and excitement wash over you, your feet immediately guided you over to the biker. Daryl gestured behind himself. "Hop on." You didn't let yourself tell that twice, and swung your leg over; sitting behind Daryl.

He revved the engine and looked over his shoulder back at you. "Ya should hold on real tight." You did; placing your hands on his shoulders. He smirked - something you weren't able to see and started to drive down the street; away from the bar. You felt your body crashing into Daryl's due to the speed. It caused you to redirect your hands and wrap your arms around his torso instead; switching positions - and you would've lied when you said you didn't enjoy holding on to him like this for the short ride inside Miles City. He was so broad and bulky, yet strong. Downright attractive.

Ten minutes later, Daryl pulled off the road and onto the parking lot of a motel. He stopped his bike and turned off the engine. You hopped off the vehicle again; Daryl doing the same. Then he took off his helmet again, fished inside his jeans pocket for the keys to his room and took your hand in his free hand. It was the first direct skin-on-skin contact - and it caused our head to spin. A shiver ran down your spine. The biker started to walk backwards and gently dragged you with him; that charming smile once again on his lips. You followed him. There were no words or further signals needed.

You felt your heart beating fast for the man in front of you, who had just put the key in the lock to open up the door to his room - to an invitation to spent the night with him. Again, you couldn't help but accept. Usually, you weren't like that, but something about Daryl was just so special and intriguing. He was different.

The wooden door had merely fallen into its hinges, when Daryl's lips crashed onto yours; your back hitting the wall behind you with a soft thud.

Daryl's kiss was overwhelming but intoxicating. The taste of Whiskey and smoke; paired with the woodsy, musky and floral scent of his cologne drove you wild. Desire and need fogging up your brain and making it hard for you to think straight. He was like a drug; injected in your bloodstream. All you wanted was the man in front of you - and you could tell that the feeling was mutual.

His lips were still attached to yours as the biker's hands started to wander; feeling the dips of your lower back and the curves of your hips. They traced the hem of your blue jeans, before calloused but skilled fingers popped the single button open and zipped down the zipper. You kicked off your cowboy boots to help Daryl along and within seconds you were halfway undressed.

To feel his hands on your burning hot skin sent another shiver down your spine. No doubt you were aching with need for him.

The man buried his face in your neck; kissing, biting and licking the sensitive skin. A gasp left your lips; hands sliding from his broad shoulders into his hair and you tugged; getting rid of his black baseball cap on the way. You felt him groan in your shoulder. His hips suddenly jerked forwards to pin you against the thin motel wall. That was the moment you felt all of him - and you were a hairsbreadth away from losing your mind. You were so drunk of him, you couldn't hold out much longer. "Daryl, p-please..." You panted desperately; hands no longer in his hair, but at the hem of his jeans. Your thumbs slid through the belt loops; tugging. He lifted his head to give you the sexiest, yet dirtiest smile a man had ever given you. It almost caused your knees to buckle and give in. Daryl knew what you wanted - and that only he was able to give it to you. Actually, he had planned to play with you a little longer, but the night wasn't over yet and he was losing the roaring battle against his most primal instincts as well. Therefore, he didn't hesitate; made quick work to unzip the zipper of his own jeans and finally gave the raging arousal trapped inside some room. Nevertheless, he couldn't resist the temptation to grant himself at least a little bit relief with the help of his hand, while he shrugged his angel-winged vest off his shoulders and messily undid a few buttons of his shirt, before he rummaged around in the back pocket of his jeans. Daryl quickly found what he was looking for, and fished it out. Bringing the little foil package to his mouth, he ripped it open with his teeth and took out the condom.

Meanwhile, your gaze had dropped, of course; watching his hands work with parted lips and your delicate palms splayed on his thick thighs. Gods, you wanted him so bad.

The sudden touch of Daryl's pleasantly warm hands on your bare hips ripped you out of your lustful thoughts. You raised your head again, just in time to see him dipping his head to meet your lips in an almost obscene kiss.

"Be a good girl 'n jump," the biker whispered hoarsely against your mouth; hot breath dancing over your skin. You did what he asked you to without hesitation; trusting your hookup blindly. He caught you easily mid-air; big palms cupping your bottom. You wrapped your legs around his middle and arms around his neck. Making sure your legs are secured around him, Daryl bend his knees and let gravity do the rest.

Your lips parted; a frown forming on your forehead. It was a lot - and it's been a while. He was a lot. You gasped; the muscles in your stomach tightening.

Daryl had thrown his head back in sheer endless pleasure, but when he focused again, he noticed the look on your face. "T-Too much?" He spluttered; having a hard time to hold himself back. You nodded wordlessly; breath still knocked out of your lungs. However, you stopped Daryl immediately as he wanted to retreat. "D-Don't... I-I want this."

Another smug smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

The sex was primal, rough and messy. It wasn't love making. Far from it. It was just two people giving into their attraction and needs.

What had started close to a wall beside the door, moved on to the cheap, shabby cupboard in the small entrance area and to the single, rickety chair beside the wardrobe, before it was now (finally) where it actually belonged... In the motel room's small, old bed, with you on your back and Daryl on his knees. The wood and springs squeaked underneath the biker's movements; headboard knocking against the wall. By now, you were pretty sure that all the neighbours around you knew what was going on behind these walls - but neither you, nor Daryl couldn't care less. You were so far gone already; completely lost in a haze of pleasure and the handsome man above you, who made you see stars.

Honestly, he was a sight to behold. The view had been never better... Chestnut brown curls all messy; pecks covered in a layer of sweat, causing the tattoos on his chest to glisten and the fine, dark hairs growing there and underneath his belly button to stick to his skin. It was probably the sexiest view you ever had.

While the biker did the heavy work, your hands were twisting the meanwhile fully opened black shirt Daryl wore; moans and gasps slipping past your lips now and then. The cliff you were about to jump down approaching quickly - quicker than you thought. All it took was a soft nip on the delicate skin at the junction of your shoulder and neck, and you were done for it. "F-Fuckin' s-shit," Daryl grunted huskily mere seconds later as he joined you, and jumped off the cliff as well.

The man panted hard as he was collapsing on top of you; biceps bulging as they worked hard to support his weight and not crush your smaller form. You giggled deliriously. One hand still splayed on his stomach as you bathed in the afterglow.

Quite a few minutes later - it was way past midnight, you were still laying in 'Daryl's' bed; him stretched out beside you, now fully naked and with his hands crossed behind his head. Neither of you had moved far.

You turned on your side to face him. "Is your one-night-stand allowed to stay the night, or should I go, call a taxi?" Daryl turned his head to face you as well; chewing on his bottom lip. "'S yer decision. If ya wanna stay, stay. If ya wanna leave, 's fine by me," he answered with a shrug.

You thought about it for a moment. It was late, you were tipsy and alone.

The decision was quickly made.

"Alright." You stood up and quickly got undressed completely as well - unintentionally giving Daryl more to look at, before you dived back into the bed; this time underneath the sheets.

The biker followed and tucked the sheets over his most private part. You slid a little bit closer to him; placing a hand on his soft stomach. "Thank you for this. Best sex I had in a while." Your words caused Daryl to chuckle. He reached out his arm for you to misappropriate as your pillow; hand resting on your bare back. "Same, cowgirl."

Tags: @dixons-sunshine @angelwings-crossbowstrings @bigbaldheadname @making-the-most-0f-it @mischief-dream @imadisneyprincessiswear @loz-3 @fictive-sl0th @erebus-et-eigengrau @belitoxx @coleigh-1205-blog @chaoticevilbakugo @lou12346789 @marvelcasey05 @whore4romance @stitchintimefan @km-ffluv @0-aubrie0 @sweetz1919 @mikaela-granger @secretsicanthideanymore @dilfdixon @txtttttttttttttt @cakesandtom @mayday2007

If you want to be added or removed from the LITRM taglist, pls let me know!

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

💖 Sapphic Books Out April 2025

🩷 Good afternoon, bookish bats. By now, you know that sweet, sapphic romance books have a special place in my heart. Here are only a few of the amazing sapphic books that hit shelves in April 2025.

❓ What was the last sapphic book you read?

💖 I Hated You in High School by Kathleen Gros 🩷 To Be Loved by Shannon O’Connor 💖 Carousel Summer by Kathleen Gros 🩷 Coming Up Clutch by Anna Gram 💖 Just a Peck by Chelsea Jean 🩷 Francine’s Spectacular Crash and Burn by Renee Swindle 💖 Anywhere You Go by Bridget Morrissey 🩷 Ordinary Saints by Niamh Ní Mhaoileoin 💖 Everything Is Fine Here by Iryn Tushabe

💖 Direct Descendant by Tanya Huff 🩷 The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet by Lindz McLeod 💖 Reluctant Witch by Melissa Marr 🩷 A Fellowship of Bakers & Magic by J. Penner 💖 The Lie That Binds Them by Matthew Ward 🩷 Renegade Girls by Nora Neus & Julie Robine 💖 Eat the Ones You Love by Sarah Maria Griffins 🩷 Where Shadows Meet by Patrice Caldwell 💖 Waters of Destruction by Leslie Karst

💖 Sometimes We Fly by Cheyenne Blue 🩷 Sweet, Spicy, Delicate by Allison Ashton 💖 Some Body Like Me by Lucy Lapinska 🩷 Advocate by Daniel M. Ford 💖 My Lady Hiraya by Steven Sy 🩷 Whisk Me Away by Georgia Beers 💖 Mothers of Fate by Lynne Hugo 🩷 Lady Chaos by Kate Elliott 💖 A Body Not Her Own by Eileen Farren

💖 Firecamp by Jaycie Morrison 🩷 All Fired Up by M. K. England 💖 In Her Sanctum by Emma Bailey 🩷 Defective by Ivy Lovell 💖 black&white – Episode 1: HUE by Soph Tang 🩷 Every Sweet Thing is Bitter by Samantha Crewson 💖 Skin by Kathe Koja 🩷 Mere by Danielle Giles 💖 Tonight, I Bleed by Katharine J. Adams

💖 A Ballad for Slayers & Monsters by Rita A. Rubin 🩷 You Belong to Me by Hayley Krischer 💖 A Line You Have Traced by Roisin Dunnett 💖 Low Orbit by Kazimir Lee 🩷 Roll for Love by M. K. England 💖 I Love You S’more by Auriane Desombre 🩷 If We Were a Movie by Zakiya N. Jamal 💖 Flirting Lessons by Jasmine Guillory 🩷 Nav’s Foolproof Guide to Falling in Love by Jessica Lewis

[jayhyunglover]

sneak peak into my new Caleb fic because I am losing will to finish it

warnings : smut under cut so MDNI , oral sex , slight exhibitionism

"What have you done to me Caleb?” You sighed as you leaned your head against your chair , your eyes looking up at the white ceiling as if it had the answers of your question but it didn't.  No one did . 

You let out another heavy sigh before discarding your tie on your desk to see if you'd finally breathe properly .

Just as you thought you might be getting some rest from this unbearable heat that have been creeping up on your body your door fled open revealing an angry Caleb 

The sight of him , especially mad made your whole body throb with an intensity that should be concerning but your mind was way out of it to care. 

He stepped closer to your desk , the clicking sounds of his boots along with your thumping heartbeat the only sounds registering in your mind. 

“What makes you think taking her on such a dangerous mission was a good idea ?” You heard him snap , his voice barely able to contain his anger. 

His words cut sharply through your daze , your eyes blinking back to focus on anything but the way his face looked so distractingly attractive 

“I didn't take her anywhere” you said,  your voice sounding way too calm and steady for someone who was literally burning in the inside “your pipsqueak boarded on that plane without permission like a grown up” you added earning a scoff from him 

“You expect me to believe she managed to pass all those security guards to board on a plane with you out of all people” he leaned in to rest his hands on your desk , his eyes shining with a possessive gleam that wasnt directed at you but got your heart rate spiking nonetheless 

“What ?” You tilted your head mockingly at him before raising from your seat to lean closer towards him “you expected me to put a gun on her temple to force her fly away with me on an wanderer infested island only to come back unscathed” you added in a heated whisper against his ear that had his jaw clenching 

“Think wisely Caleb” You scoffed before stepping away from him , attempting to put some distance between you , to quell down the hunger that burned inside you the more you inhaled the addictive scent of his cologne 

But Caleb wouldn't let you off the hook this easily . As you waked beside him to head to your office door , he pulled you towards him by wrapping his hand around your wrist. 

An embarrassing squeal left your parted lips as you felt your back hit the wooden material of your desk .

“Have I ever told you that jealousy looks awful on you , Lieutenant?” You felt the ghost of his lips against your heated skin as he whispered the words against your neck 

“T-this has nothing to do with jealousy” you heaved out , already panting while he hasn't even touched you yet .

“It doesn't hm?” He purred against the soft flesh of your neck before biting on it hard enough to have you clawing at the edge of the desk “then why have you been avoiding me?” 

The question made your eyes widen the suddenness of it too abrupt for your scrambled mind to process . 

“Tell me , lieutenant” he pressed,  his lips leaving a gentle kiss on the bruised skin he bit earlier . 

“You have your pipsqueak back our deal is supposed to be over” you managed to get out between feverish pants. 

The flash of disappointment you saw through his eyes had your resolve faltering but the fragment of memories you saw when you resonated with the hunter earlier flashed through your mind strengthened it further . 

Don't get caught up in illusions.  This man wasn't yours.  

The realization made a burst of anger spread throughout you , one that had you yanking his hair harshly until your lips crashed against his,  all teeth and tongue , drinking him in like a thirsty man in desert that finally found water. Because he was your water , your light , a light that was bound to left you . 

Caleb kissed you back with the same fervor,  his gloved hand wrapping lightly around your throat as his mouth devoured yours with a feral intensity. It was messy ,depraved and desperate.  

A small hushed plea left your mouth as he parted his lips from  yours to trail kisses down on your neck,  his hands nothing but tearing  your uniform shirt to shreds . 

Your hand reached out to unbuckle his belt but he stopped you halfway , his hand moving swiftly to bound your wrists with your own discarded tie. 

“No touching this time Lieutenant” he taunted,  cupping your chin to make you look up at him , the feral gleam in his purple  eyes making your cunt throb harder. 

“Today you're all mine” he whispered before capturing your mouth in another heated kiss. 

How you wished you could be his but this would never happen. You were just a sinner and he was your worst sin. The one who will drag you through the pit of hell. 

The small kiss he left on your nose was the last thing you felt before he slid down to his knees in front of you , his large hands spreading your legs apart as you tried to steady yourself on top of the desk despite your bound wrists. 

His fingers unzipped your pants before sliding them off you , leaving your legs  bare for him to admire 

How he has missed this view . 

“Still as beautiful as ever , Lieutenant” you heard him whisper in awe,  the compliment making you feel even dizzier while your cunt fluttered uncontrollably at his praises 

“Look at her” he looked up at you as he ran a gloved  thumb along your covered slit “so wet for me already” 

You could feel his infuriating smirk against your plush fold through the flimsy material of your panties . He was so close but so far away at the same time, it drove you wild. 

“Caleb” you whimpered out , your pleading  eyes looking down at him in an half hearted glare that made his cock twitch 

“What?” He smirked before peeking the drenched material of your panties in a way that had you throwing your head back 

“What do you need , darling?” The sound of him calling you darling made your hips buck against his face , the sinful moan escaping your lips sounding like music to his ear. 

“I need you” the words felt more like a confession than anything and if it wasn't for that weird wanderer based substance in your system you'd probably felt pathetic for baring your soul to him  like this but right now as his face was resting between your legs seconds away from feasting ,you didn't give a damn.  

The regrets and sermons would come later when you were  no longer aching and panting from him . 

The heat of Caleb's mouth pulled you out of your musings,  the overwhelming sensation making you cry out loud . He hasn't even bothered to take off your ruined panties , his mouth latching onto the flimsy material like he was starving. 

He was merciless,  the relentless pace making you squeal.  

“Oh fuck just like that” you moaned,  not even ashamed of the sounds you were making.  His tongue rolled  over your swollen bud over and over until you were practically in tears .

And when you felt like you'd finally reach heaven ,a knock to your door made him stop, his eyes looking up to take in your form. 

And shit. The sight of you spread out on your desk with your shirt half buttoned,  your skin flushed with heat , panting with tears clinging to your waterline almost had him cumming in his pants  

Such a sight to behold and all for him to see. 

Another knock on the door made him let out a small growl against you , clearly not pleased by being interrupted .

“Lieutenant” you heard a worried voice said from the other side “can I come in?” 

Commander Ash? Your ears perked up . 

Shit shit shit why is here ? 

You looked down at Caleb who  was already back to work , his fingers pulling your ruined panties to the side to suck , lick and nip at your sensitive flesh while you tried your best to stay quiet and gather your thoughts 

“Lieutenant” Ash knocked once again “are you alright in there?” his voice was growing somewhat more restless. 

“Respond darling” you felt Caleb's nip at your clit before looking up at you from where he was kneeling “it's so rude to leave someone hanging hm?” He spat right on your entrance before slurping down the mess. 

“ngh_” the sight of him looking so devilishly at you nearly had you cumming here and there on his face but he purposely slowed down his pace to maddening kitten licks so you would  focus on responding Ash. 

But that only made you more restless and frustrated . 

“I am fine” you snapped , voice laced with frustration while the man below faintly chuckled before rewarding you with a flick of his tongue that made you groan .

You fought against your restraints so at least you would cover your mouth to muffle your sounds but no matter how hard you tried the knot wouldn't loosen . 

Handsome bastard. 

“Are you sure?” you heard Ash said ,  the confusion note in his tone not escaping Caleb's ear. 

“You don't really sound well” the sound of the creaking handle made your heart rate pick up . your stomach curled into knots with a mixture of fear and arousal that has fresh waves of your beading juices gushing around Caleb's tongue 

You didn't lock the door and he could barge in at any moment 

“Dirty girl” he muttered faintly against your plush folds , sticking strands connecting his lips to your pussy . 

You bit down on your lips to not let out a loud moan , the squelching sounds of your cunt along with your barely concealed moans leaving no doubt of what was happening inside there . Thought one thing was clear , Ash was clearly wrestling with the handle that wouldn't budge Thanks to Caleb's evol. 

“I am fine truly” you attempted to spoke again but the way Caleb was making out with your lips below while his gloved hand rubbed tight circle around your clit made your words came out like breathy whimpers. “Just a bit busy” 

You really hoped Ash would get the memo and get the fuck out here before you combusted . 

“Ok then” he said, his tone sounding a tad disappointed “I'll see around then Lieutenant” 

Yeah you'll see her around now go . 

You felt a wave of relief wash over you as the sound of  Ash's eloigning footsteps finally disappeared leaving only you and the smirking man buried nose deep between your thighs. 

“You're such a dirty little thing , Lieutenant” he rasped out , flicking your clit one last time before raising to his full height . 

@gazelover666

[ranikyani]

The Alias Archives 🎭

A collection of fics featuring Aaron Pierre as a main character, but under a different name, exploring new identities and roles.

💌: Make sure you read warnings before engaging + Take care of yourself while reading, mwah💋

🏡: Return to Daddy's Library or…

💬 Readers Remember: Supporting our writers goes beyond just liking a post! Yes, likes are cool but comments/reblogs and kudos can be incredibly meaningful and make a huge difference! Many talented writers feel discouraged by the lack of engagement and recent foolishness, so let's uplift them by showing appreciation for their work. Don't make our favs beg for a crumb of attention!

✍🏾 Writers, this is a work in progress... but if anything needs to be changed or removed immediately pls lmk.

Status: Completed 🏁 - Ongoing📝 - Hiatus ⏸️

Length: Drabble✨ - OneShot 🎯 - Series 📚 - MiniSeries ⏳- Universe 🌎

Note: Summary will be provided for stories without one included. If anything should be changed pls lmk. I haven't read 1/2 these fics yet... will continue to update as I make progress.

A

B

Back Then ⏳

Character: Isaiah

Summary: Let's start from the beginning...

Author: @hotgrlcece

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

Love Language 📝📚🌎

Character: Jameson Lucas

Summary: Jameson Lucas (Aaron Pierre) x Imani St. Cirie (Megan thee Stallion)Genie Adesanya (Jayme Lawson) x Ellington “EJ” Dupree (Kelvin Harrison Jr.)

Author: @grlsbstshot

M

My Lover Won’t Answer 🎯

Character: Francis

Summary: a bad thought turned into her worst nightmare.

Author: @zillasvilla

N

Neon Lights 🏁📚🌎

Character: Jameson Lucas

Summary: In the glitzy world of Hollywood, it can be easy to crash and burn under the California sun. Few are more self-sabotaging than R&B singer/songwriter, Jameson Lucas. The only thing the charming playboy is known for more than his long list of lovers is his Grammy wins. Imani St. Cirie, an emotive singer/songwriter herself, is the latest in a long line of women he's wronged but she's determined to different. Imani refuses to let Jameson make or break her. The two A-listers are consistently drawn together by an electric chemistry that neither can deny or easily manage. As common sense pulls them in opposite directions -- friendships are tested, old flames resurface, and new opportunities threaten to tear them apart for good. They must decide if their love is strong enough to withstand the weight of the mistakes in their past. In this industry, dreams can make or break you -- but what happens when love becomes the gamble of a lifetime?

Author: @grlsbstshot

O

Our First Kiss 🎯

Character: Francis

Summary: Mariel makes a confession to Francis, that ends up differently than she expected.

Author: @zillasvilla

P

Q

R

S

Saturn 📝⌛️

Character: John Stewart

Summary: John fails to saves a young woman as her home is destroyed. She’s found among the decaying planet and is taken to Arkham. Later taken to Oa, “Spade” is trained alongside other Green Lantern recruits, the organization secretly hopes to tap into her powers, and Jon becomes her trainer. They begin to blur the lines and when the organization confronts her she learns Jon closeness was because he was instructed to. Spade ices everyone out, the heart break turning her cold. When The Batman Who Laughs begins his terror on another planet, Jon and Spade must work together. Spade keeps things strictly business but Jon plans to do anything within his power to earn Spade’s trust and heart again. 

Author: @keyaho

T

U

V

W

We Belong Together 🎯

Character: Francis

Summary: The news of Francis's death hits Mariel in a way no one thought would happen.

Author: @zillasvilla

When He's Not There 🎯

Character: Terrance (FOE)

Summary: In 2036, you reside in a high-tech home with your wealthy husband, Arlo. One night, a striking 6'3" stranger named Terrence, representing a company focused on off-Earth habitation, arrives. While he engages Arlo in conversation, while your husband is away, you find yourself alone in the kitchen, preparing dinner. Visited by him.

Author: @notapradagurl7

X

Y

Z

[glassartpeasants]

Run Rabbit Run

Yandere!Eustass Kidd x F!Reader

Warnings: physical abuse, death, pre-time skip kidd, implied non-con, nonconsensual kissing/touching, blood, Kidd being an arsonist, edited as much as my smooth brain could, long fic??

Trash summary: After escaping, reader has flashbacks of her time with kidd and it only fuels her want for freedom more

A/N: Well, this took a bit long. I went over this fic so damn much it isn't even funny. I do hope in the end, it was worth it and that you guys like it. Whoever guesses the word count gets a cookie

music playlist

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10

~~~

The sound of rain crashing down did little to dull the sound of your beating heart. It echoed in your ears to the point where you thought it’d explode! The way you struggled to get air in your lungs didn’t help either. They burned along with your body as you ran as fast as you could through the trees.

The rain still hit you despite the leaves that protected you overhead. Your clothes clung to your body tight enough to the point it made it difficult to run. You lost your socks to the mud long ago, so now you were pushing through the slimy ground as fast as you could. The feeling of it against your feet made you cringe. But you’d rather deal with it than go back to the hell that you just escaped from.

About a year ago, you were abducted from your hometown in broad daylight by the most feared New Gen pirates in the South Blue, the Kidd Pirates. Everyone from your town knew who they were. No shop owners denied them service, and everyone waited on their beck and call. Despite that, they still plundered and burned down anything they wanted to. Nothing was safe.

You remember the first day you saw them. You were walking home from the grocery store when you heard the mayor pleading. Biting your lip, you look around the corner of a building, trying to get a sense of what was happening. There you saw it, your mayor on his knees begging a group of people to leave your town alone. Squinting your eyes, you try to see better, only to let out a gasp of shock and fear.

“No way…” You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. The seemingly whole crew of the infamous Kidd Pirates. Their captain, Eustass Kidd, stood in front of your begging mayor with a sick grin on his face. 

“Too bad, old man! Now, you either give me all the treasures in this shit town, or you'll see its ashes fall from the sky!” The air seemed to go cold as you felt frozen. You wanted to run away and warn your community, but something made you stay.

“But! The people need that for-” The mayor went flying backward from a kick that the pirate sent his way.

“Wrong answer, old fool! Burn it down and take everything! Leave no stone unturned!” The rest of the pirates went their separate ways and followed their captain's commands. Your whole body shook as you moved your gaze back to the captain. A choking feeling took over you when you saw his amber eyes staring right into yours. Even from where you stood, you could hear him laughing as your eyes never left his. 

You finally manage to pull out of your frozen trance when you watch him starting to move in your direction. Dropping your groceries, you start to run away as fast as you could. You look all around, trying to find the best routes to lose him, but his eyes haunt you no matter where you look.

The sound of your footsteps rang in your ears as you felt your heart kicking into overdrive. What could he possibly want from you? Would he kill you? Use you as some sort of ransom? All you knew was that you had to outrun him! 

Suddenly, your jerked to a stop. You feel yourself slowly moving backward. Looking down, you see the bracelet that your fiance gave you, slowly pulling you back to where you just ran from. You try to take it off but are once again jerked back even harder, and your whole body feels like it’s flying backward from how hard you were pulled back.

“Where do you think you're going, huh?” A strong hand grabbed your wrist as your back collided with the man you had just tried to run away from. You could only look up in horror as his smile sent chills down your spine.

“Y-Your Eustass Kidd…” Your voice shakes, as well as your body.

“Damn right, I am. What? You afraid?” His laugh only fueled your fear more. Here you were, stuck in a madman's grip with no way of knowing what his plans for you were.

“Please! Just let me go! I-I’ll give you all the money I have. Just please let me go!” You try to pry his hand off your wrist, but inside, you know it is pointless. It seemed your pathetic attempt amused him.

“Now, why would I let something I caught far and square go?” He pulled your hand closer to look at the bracelet that adorned your wrist.

“Your shitty stainless steel bracelet betrayed you, princess.”

“My fiance worked hard to make it for me!-”

“Don’t make me laugh! This is the shittest piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen!” You see him grab your bracelet and watch in horror as it contorts itself off your wrist. It falls into his hands as he looks at it closer.

“Give it back!” You try to grab it, but he lifts it up and away from your grasp.

“It ain’t even pure stainless steel. Pathetic. Not even detailed, just a circle of metal.” Your mouth drops open when you see the bracelet crunch into a ball the size of a bullet.

“Repel.” What used to be your bracelet shoots away from his hand and into a store window. You feel tears rim your eyes at his chuckles.

“Now, c’mon. You're coming with me.” Once again, you try to pry off his grip, but it doesn’t budge an inch.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, princess. I’m not a very patient person.” You were about to say something in retaliation, but the sound of your fiance yelling made you turn your head.

“(Y/N)! Get your hands off her, you filthy pirate!” Your heart drops to your stomach when you see your fiance standing 30 feet away from you. Moving your gaze from your fiance to Kidd was a mistake, as you felt your blood run cold. The cocky grin was no longer there, instead, a furious one replaced it.

“This is that pathetic fiance? Ugh, I don’t have time to deal with you. I’ve got to take this treasure I found back to the ship-”

“(Y/N)’s not going anywhere with you! Let her go, pirate!” A murderous look sparked in Kidd’s eyes as he looked at your fiance, who dared tell him what to do. A bad feeling filled your gut as you turned to your fiance.

“Run (....)! He’s going to kill you!” You try to scream out to them as loud as you could. The hand that once gripped your wrist wrapped itself around your torso and pulled you into Kidd’s chest. Your arms trapped under his arm as you struggle to even move.

“Killer!” The sound of running footsteps echoes as they grow closer to you.

“Yeah, Kidd?” A man in a striped blue and white mask appears next to you. His stature much different from the one holding you hostage.

“I need to make an example out of them, kill them. Little shit thinks they can tell me what I can and can’t do.” You stare at the masked man in horror as he seemingly stares back at you.

“Who’s she?”

“My new plaything. Cutie, ain’t she?” Kidd’s chest rumbles with small laughter as he holds you tighter. The man who you assume is Killer, simply nodded before two massive blades come into your view. Your throat goes dry as you see him rush towards your fiance, who looks petrified. 

“No! Leave them alone!-”

“Alright, let's go.” You were turned around just before you heard the wails of your fiance. Tears started to slip down your cheeks as the love of your life was brutally slain right behind you. Your mind runs with horrific images of what could have possibly happened. All you did was look at the ground and watch as each pebble left your sight as Kidd walked forward. You wanted to scream, kick, punch, just anything to hurt him, but your body was immobile from the sheer shock of how fast your life was crashing down in front of you.

“What a pretty sight, don’t you think?” Biting your lip, you move your head up slowly to see what could possibly make him so happy. As soon as you lifted your head, you felt your mouth drop open at the sight.

The buildings that you’ve known your entire life were set ablaze. The heat it gave off was insufferable as Kidd walked through it without a care. Sounds of wood collapsing and flames flickering rang from all directions. All your childhood memories erased and replaced with an ongoing hell before your eyes. The urge to vomit was immense, but you held back, not wanting to show any more weakness than you already have.

The trek from the town to the ship felt like hours, yet when you did reach the ship, it was like one you’d never seen. You couldn’t keep your eyes off it. If it didn’t belong to the man who took away all that you loved dear just moments ago, you would have applauded for its uniqueness. The only thing that deserves the fate that your home was subject to is the ship in front of you. 

Your heart beat against your ribs at the sound of wood creaking under Kidd’s feet. You bit your lip in worry, not knowing where he was taking you. While he dragged you to the deep parts of his ship, you tried memorizing anything you could. The only thing you could really focus on, though, was the sickening smile that he wore. 

He stopped at a door in the furthest part of the ship. Your body shook as he opened the door to show what's inside. Crates filled most of the room, but there was a small window that barely let any light inside the room. When your eyes landed on a set of chains, you knew that you couldn’t let him put those on you. If he got them on, there was no way to get them off!

“No! Let me go!” You try to desperately wiggle out, but a quick crushing hold from Kidd had the wind knocked from your lungs. The sounds of chains jiggling blocked from your mind as you try to regain the air that was abruptly squeezed out of you. It was only when you felt the cold metal attacking your ankle and your body crashing to the ground is when you were dragged back to the present. 

“There we go.” You didn’t dare look up. Your only thought was to pry off the chain, even though you knew that it was wishful thinking. Tears pour down your face once more at the fear of what would happen to you. You could feel your nails digging into the skin of your ankle as you tried to rip it off.

You feel Kidd grabbing both your wrists with one hand before using the other one to grab your face. He moves your head so he can look at your tear filled face. He moved his smiling face closer to yours to where there must have been only 2 inches away from yours. You see him stick his tongue out before you feel the slimy muscle run up your cheek, licking your tears away. You felt bile rise in your throat as he did the same to your other cheek, his saliva coating your skin. Through your blurry vision, you can see him licking his lips.

“You look so hot with tears running down your face, princess. Just the sight alone is enough for me to want to shove my cock down your throat just to see more of your pretty tears.” His crude words made you shut your eyes in embarrassment as you tried to turn your head away, yet to no avail. You can feel his head move to the point where you feel his breath against your ear.

“I’ll be back. Don’t wanna miss out on all the fun. Gotta make sure everything burns. I’m sure you understand.” His laughter rang in your ear as he let go of your face and wrists. The noise echoed in the small room. Making it sound like the devil himself was laughing at you. The man in front of you might as well be.

The small light that the door gave you soon snuffed out as Kidd closed the door. The sound of it locking on the other side made the darkness surrounding you more menacing. From the small window that gave you as much light as a lighter, you could see the sun setting and the small burnt debris from your home falling from the sky.

~~~

The feeling of the ship rocking made your stomach curdle. You’ve never been on one before, and now you were at the very bottom of one? The window that was your only source of light was just barely above the water. On rainy days, light was practically a wish. You were caved in total darkness. The only thing that soothed you to sleep was the sound of the rain. You just tried to imagine you were back home and lying down on your bed, waiting for your fiance to join you.

The ‘bed’ you got to sleep on was just tons of blankets lying on top of one another. You had to use a blanket as a pillow as well. It didn’t help that it was freezing. Hypothermia was basically knocking on your door every night. Sometimes you could even see your own breath. 

The chain around your ankle didn’t help either. It felt like freezing needles were stabbing into your skin constantly. Sometimes you thought that it might just freeze your foot off.

Suddenly, you hear the telltale signs that Kidd was approaching your door. You’ve memorized the patterns of everyone's footsteps that had come in and out of your room. Which was basically just Kidd and his little kiss-ass friend Killer.

You could hear the lock unlocking, and soon the bright light from the outside filled your room. Gritting your teeth, you pretend to be asleep under the blankets. Maybe he might just leave.

“I know your awake, princess.” You move your head just so you could barely catch a glimpse of him. Despite the fact you were shooting him daggers with your eyes, he simply laughed at you. He held a lantern light before shutting the door and making it semi-dark again. Your heartbeat doubles as you see his smile as he walks towards you. 

“No, hello, aye?” He set down the lantern on a crate before sitting down just above your head. It was quiet for a second before you felt him grip your hair and harshly tug so you’d look at him. The stinging made your eyes water as you looked at him.

“You better start talking, I wanna hear your voice, princess.” You see him pull out a sharp blade from his pocket. Knowing he was a man who never made empty threats, you gave in.

“H-Hello Eustass.” Your voice barely a whisper as you look at him in his amber eyes. 

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” You dig your nails into the blankets as you try to imagine yourself anywhere but here. His laughter rang in your ears before you felt him lock his lips with yours. 

He was rough, and he kept your hair tightly between your fingers. You didn’t reciprocate the kiss, which made him let out a growl. His grip grew tighter, and you soon felt the cold metal of a blade press up against the skin of your neck. 

You could feel your eyes widen and your heart stop at the sensation. You couldn’t escape him if you were dead. Despite wanting to spit in his face, you did what he wanted. While he didn’t move the knife, you felt him smile against your lips. 

He was pushy with his kisses, seemingly trying to steal your air. You did your best to try and keep up so he wouldn’t hurt you, but he was just not giving you any time. He bit your lip hard, which made you yelp out in pain. He took advantage and shoved his tongue down your throat. The taste of sake filled your mouth as he explored every inch of your mouth. 

Tears soon dripped from your eyes, no matter how hard you tried to keep them in. Kidd saw this and groaned into your mouth at the sight. You hated this sick bastard and how he got off to you crying from pain and fear. 

He soon pulled away, and a trail of saliva connected both of your lips. Air finally expanded your lungs after being cut off for so long. You cough for a few seconds before looking back up at Kidd. The knife was still held against your throat, and his grip on your hair tight. 

“Your still so bratty. I wonder how long it’s going to take to break you. Break you so you cry and beg for my cock the moment you see me. Begging me to use you like a toy. My dicks hard just thinking about it.” The hand holding the knife left, and you could see him put it down. A sigh of relief left you before you felt him grab your hand. He gave you a gut-wrenching smile before moving your hand to the waistband of his pants. Your eyes widen, and your heart stops at the action.

“Gonna show you just how hard you make me princess. And maybe if your good, you’ll get a reward…” He pushes your hand down his pants you hear him let out a shaky breath. You can feel the tips of your fingers touching the base of his cock. The simple feeling made you vomit in your mouth. You hear Kidd laugh as he looks down at you. He puts his face close to yours once more, and you can see the crazed look in his eyes. 

“...And if you're bad, you can say goodbye to ever leaving this room.”

~~~

Your ankle still burns from being shackled for so long. It was so tight against your foot that sometimes you still think it's on. It has been off for a while, but the scar from it scrapping against your skin was still fresh. It’d no doubt stay there forever, even if you do apply scar cream. The scar would always be a reminder of what you went through and what you lost. 

By now, the rain had mixed with your tears as your hair stuck to your face. Your body overworked itself as it ignored every fall in the mud, every rock or stick stepped on, and the overwhelming fear that the man you’ve been stuck with will catch you. After working so hard to be able to escape, you weren’t gonna go down now. 

Still, you feared that he might find you. You had left footprints in the mud as you ran into the woods. What if he saw them? Could the rain possibly have washed them away? Your mind simply ran rampant as thoughts seemed to come and go. 

Especially the thought of how you were going to get the thick metal collar that adorned your neck off. It also rubbed against your skin to the point where it would also leave a scar. The rubbed raw skin burned whenever the cold metal hit against it. The cold rain barely soothed the pain. You didn’t see how that crazy bastard thought that it was a reward for good behavior. 

Once again, you felt your body freezing up. It had been getting colder, and you still had the same blankets you did when you were first thrown into this hell hole. Your hair was still slightly damp from the shower earlier, and it didn’t make you warmer either.  You could hear laughter and cheers coming from the floor above you.

‘Sounds like they're celebrating another successful raid. Gross.’ You could only think to yourself as the sounds grew louder and louder. How the hell were you supposed to sleep when they're practically screaming?

Just then, you could hear Kidd’s footsteps approaching the door. You take a deep breathe before getting ready to deal with your kidnapper once again. What could he want at this hour though? First his crew is partying late into the night and now he’s coming down to bother you? 

“Wake up, princess. I got you a present.” You could practically hear his sadistic smile from the other side of the door. The door unlocked, and you could see his outline. His shadow filled the small room. In his hand seemed to be a thick metal collar. A sinking feeling rose in your gut. What could he possibly want for making you wear that?

“What's that?” Your voice filled with venom despite trying to sound calm. You glared at the collar, hoping that it might explode. 

“Well since you’ve been such a good girl, I think you can take a break from the chains.” Your eyebrows raise in suspicion at his words.

“But you have to wear this.” He held up said metal collar with a smirk.

“If you even try to run, I can just drag you back to me. Of course, you wouldn’t get far, but if you do try anything, your going back down here. In the dark.” You run your options in your head. Even if it’s for a while, getting out of this room might save some of your dwindling sanity. At the same time, you’ll be stuck with him for even longer in the day.

“...Okay.” When the shackle fell from your ankle you swore you could feel a smile grace your lips. The raw skin finally free from the constant rubbing on the shackle. The smile was short lived though, cause just as soon as that piece of metal left, the metal collar wrapped around your throat. It was much lighter than you thought but it was still thick. Kidd grabbed your chin and made you face him.

“You look so much more pretty with that around your neck. Now, I can take you places. Doesn’t that sound fun, princess?” He laughed in your face before grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder. You yelp in surprise at the sudden action as Kidd makes his way out of the small room.  

While he locked the door, you took in your surroundings. You haven’t seen the outside of the room since you were originally put in there. Kidd always just came to you, so you forgot what outside the room looked like. That or Killer would blindfold you and take you to the showers before bringing you back. 

“Where are we going?” Your voice sounded like a whisper compared to the loud roars of laughter coming from the crew.  Kidd didn’t answer you regardless, which only made you frown.  You tried to commit every floorboard and hallway to memory as he took you to another room. It didn’t take long, but it felt like an eternity in your fear. 

When he opened the door to the other room, it was much bigger than the one you had just left. It had an actual bed, and clothes strayed all across the floor. Tiny metal trinkets scattered across shelves and a dresser.

‘Must be his bedroom…’ The door locked as soon as you were inside. Before you could say anything, Kidd dropped you onto the bed.

“Get comfy 'cause you're sleeping here tonight.” You didn’t say anything, only scooting closer to the top of the bed.  You were already in your pajamas, the warmest ones that Kidd had bought you. Well, more likely stole, but whatever. All your clothes were picked out by him, and you hated it. They all showed too much skin to your liking, and the pajamas weren’t any better. The warmest one was a T-shirt and fleece pajama shorts. Obviously not something that would create much heat. 

You threw the blankets over you and laid down on the bed, trying to avoid looking at your captor. The metal collar made it slightly uncomfortable, but you could still sleep with it on, no doubt. 

The feeling of the bed dipping down behind you made your breath hitch as you felt the covers move as well. A strong hand grabs your waist and pulls you closer towards the middle of the bed. A warm body was pressed against your back, and the smell of oil hit your nostrils. Another arm slithers under your body, and now you're totally trapped against his chest. 

“You smell so nice, princess. I could just eat you.” Kidd laughs as he lays his head between your head and shoulder. The metal collar against his face couldn’t be comfortable, but he didn’t say anything.

“Thank you…?” Despite the urge to ignore him, you don’t. You didn’t wanna freeze and maybe this could be used to your advantage. A way to escape!

You feel his lips kiss the exposed skin of your neck that the collar didn’t cover before feeling his lipstick run against your neck when he begins nibbling on the sensitive skin. You can feel him smiling, and the way his breath fanned your neck made goosebumps ghost your skin. 

A rough, calloused hand soon grabs the fat of your thigh before rubbing a circle on it with his thumb. The feeling of his hands holding you never failed to make you frown. You grit your teeth when you hear Kidd laugh against your skin. 

“Now that you're going to be out in public with me. I need the world to know who you belong to.” You can feel your throat going dry at the implications of his words and actions. Closing your eyes, you did your best to try imagining yourself home and in bed with your fiance.

He seemed to pick up that you were imagining you were anywhere else but here cause you soon felt his teeth dig into your skin harshly. You let out a cry from the pain and dig your nails into the bed sheets. Biting your lip, you try to ignore the throbbing the bite brought. 

The hand that wasn’t rubbing on your thigh moved under your shirt. Your heart beat rapidly the closer he got to your breasts. His cold hands felt like ice cubes running against your skin. Words of hatred rose in your throat as you tried to hold down the venom that bubbled inside you.

“A-Aren’t you tired from raiding? Maybe we should get some sleep, huh?” You tried to deter him from continuing his selfish desires. A soft ‘hmm’ came from his throat but was soon replaced with laughter.

“I think I’ll sleep better after fucking you on my cock. Plus, I’ve been thinking about fucking you stupid all day, princess.” Your heart dropped to your stomach at his confession. Every inch of your body went rigid when you felt his hand palm your breast. 

The hand that rubbed circles on your thigh soon moved up and played with the waistband of your shorts. Tears started streaming down your face at the feeling of his cold fingers dipping beneath the layers of clothes. 

~~~

You hated the way his room smelled. Oil and sweat seemingly infused with every object. Did he ever wash his clothes? It was to the point where you would have washed them with! The stench was unbearable!

Yet, you would still rather be here in a warm room than the freezing hell that was your old room. At least here, there was a thick comforter. Even though there was a bed that was much more comfortable than the floor, you'd rather lay on the ground than lay in a bed where you felt like your life was worth nothing. 

“God fucking damnit! Those fucking marines keep getting in my way!” All the blood in your body ran cold, hearing Kidd scream in rage. He was a whole other evil when his rage took over. Unfortunately, it was more often than you’d like. When he got like this, it felt like he viewed you as an enemy. You remember when he grabbed your arm before throwing you to the ground after accusing you of laughing at his failure. 

Or the time when he kicked you in the stomach so hard that you threw up. 

The bedroom door slammed open before Kidd slammed it shut again. You didn’t say anything, only looking at him to see his next move. He had some blood on his face that only made his rage more horrifying. 

“Fuck!” Grabbing a metal trinket, he threw it at his door. The impact was strong enough for it to get stuck in the door. You dug your nails into your palms as you looked at the door. There were already marks from when he’d throw knives at the door in anger. You swallowed the lump that seemed to get caught in your throat as you hesitantly turned your gaze toward Kidd.

“What the fuck are you staring at?!” Your heart froze as you hear him stomping towards you. A spurt of adrenaline kicked inside you as you tried moving backward away from him. It only served to make him madder cause he grabbed you by your foot and pulled you towards him.

“I said, what the fuck are you staring at?!” His hand grabbed the exposed part of your neck before squeezing. You tried kicking him, but he only lifted you up in the air. Tears rimmed your eyes as you try clawing at his hand, which only served to piss him off more.

“Your happy, aren’t you?! You think that marines are gonna catch me and you’ll be free?! Is that it?!” You tried shaking your head, but his grip was too strong. 

“I-I can’t….breathe… Kidd please…” Through your blurry vision, you can see the same amber eyes that haunted your nightmares. Even when your vision started to go black, you could see his eyes glowing.

“Stupid bitch!” You feel your body getting thrown and the grip on your neck gone. Yet not soon after, you feel your body colliding with the wall before falling on the floor. You could hear a crack ringing in your ears when your head hit the floor. 

Every inch of your body burned, and the slightest movement only doubled that. When you tried to open your eyes, your vision was blurry, and you could feel something cascading down your forehead. You couldn’t move your head, so all you saw was the dirty floor of the bedroom. 

It sounded like Kidd was trying to say something, but it was all just white noise. All you could hear was the ringing in your head and the feeling of your head throbbing. You feel your forehead is covered in something, but everything just seems like a blur. 

Kidd’s boots soon came into your sight as he kneeled down next to you. You feel his fingers glide through your hair before taking a fistful and lifting you up to face him. A searing pain vibrated through your body as you let out a pained cry. You try to move, but your body feels too bruised to even move in the slightest.

“Fucking pathetic! Why do I even keep you around when you're so fucking useless?!” Despite your blurry vision, his eyes managed to pierce through the blur. You try to talk, but nothing comes out, not even whimpers. 

“Hey! I’m talking to you! Don’t fucking ignore me!” The grip on your hair was replaced by him grabbing your face so you’d look at him. All you saw was a red blur with eyes glaring at you. All your strength disappeared, and you could feel yourself grow limp.

A deep urge to sleep soon took a toll as you felt your eyelids growing heavy. It felt like rocks were dragging them down, and no matter how hard you tried to keep them open. Even though you could feel yourself being shaken, you simply ignored the sensation. With a last flutter of your eyes, a black void soon swallowed 

You remember Killer telling you that you were out cold for a few days and what actually happened to you. Well, more like you had to hit it out of him. Kidd must have told him not to tell you, but in the end, you managed to get the truth after hitting him repeatedly and threatening to throw things at him. 

What he told you was that your body hit the ground hard enough for your skull to have a small fracture. 

It did manage to heal relatively well and at the predicted healing rate, but that didn’t mean anything to you. It wouldn’t have happened if Kidd didn’t use you as a personal punching bag. You remember the look in his eyes when he lifted you in the air and had his hand wrapped around your throat. It’s a look that still plagues your nightmares even to this day. You’re still fully convinced that he planned to kill you that day, but something stopped him. 

Those events only encouraged you to run as fast as your feet could carry you. 

The rain made it hard to stay on your feet even though you tried your hardest. There were times when your foot would slip, and you’d go crashing into the mud. It felt disgusting to have your body coated in seemingly cold slime. Your clothes were definitely done with after you found a place to safely hide and to get rid of them. 

If you were to look at yourself in a mirror right now, you’d probably look like a mudslide victim. The feeling of mud getting under your collar and rubbing against the raw skin burned like hell. You prayed that it wouldn’t get infected. 

~~~

He was acting more loving than normal. It was…unnerving.

Something must have changed inside of Kidd after he threw you against the wall. Because instead of just him using you for his own pleasure and using you as a punching bag whenever he got angry, he started acting like you actually meant something to him. Acting like he loved you.

The thought made you sick. It had to be some sick game he was playing.

Yet, here he was now, laying on your chest, giving you praises. Telling you that your such a good girl. That he chose the right one to have by his side. How you were so beautiful and that you made him so happy. 

He was acting vulnerable.

“I love you princess…” He buried his head in your chest. You knew he wanted to hear you say the same thing, but there was no way you were ever telling him that. Even if he gave you all the treasure in the world, you’d never say it. So all you did was run your fingers through his unkempt hair, thinking of questions to ask him, to try distracting him.

“How was the recent raid?”

“You should have seen how high the fires were. High enough to touch the clouds! Even those stupid marines couldn’t put out the flames!” His laughter made your heart constrict. You knew he was merciless when it came to his raids, but it simply reminded you of the horror that happened to your own town. You felt stupid for asking even though you should have known the answer.

“Was…the treasure good?”

“Not even worth a cent. They tried fighting us on it, so we had to teach them a lesson.” You let out a ‘hmm’ as you frown. A sudden weight was lifted off your chest as you saw him lifting his body up off yours. You weren’t complaining, but you wondered what was going on in that crazy head of his. 

The bed dipped on the side of you, and you felt Kidd grab you and pull you close to him. Your face was pressed against his chest, and your head was under his. The feeling of his lips kissing the top of your head only served to frown more. 

“Killer was asking me the other day when I plan on letting you go…” You could feel your eyes widen at his words. You haven’t begged him to let you go since you got the collar. Ever since you got the collar, you’ve just been plotting to get his trust and finding a way out. Maybe he figured out your plan? Yet surely, he will get rid of you someday, right? One day he’d get bored of you.

“...And I told him never.”

~~~

It felt like you’ve been running forever. You fear your body is giving up on you with how much slower you’ve been running. The thought that you might collapse soon without being in a safe place scared you cause what if he found you? You’d never see the light of day again.

Thankfully, you were out of the mostly dirt part of the forest. By now, there was actual grass, and you could see light in front of you. Tempting you, encouraging you to come closer, that your almost there. 

You picked up the pace, even though your body burned. Telling you that you couldn’t take it anymore. Yet you ignored the pain. 

You could see through the cloudy light that something colorful was up ahead. It wasn’t like any of the colors that the Victoria Punk wore. Instead, they seemed more lively. More friendly. Still, looks could be deceiving. Although, you would take anything over the ship you’ve been stuck on for the past year. 

When your feet hit the sandy beaches, you feel yourself crying even harder. Instead of fear, it was hope. You took a look at the ship, and once again, you’ve never seen such a unique ship. It was the complete opposite of the Victoria Punk. Instead of a skull, it had a cute little lion. It seemed just as big as the Victoria, if not maybe a bit bigger. Then again, you’ve only seen the outside twice.

The ship was out a bit, but it looked like it was still in shallow water. The anchor was down, so it looked like they weren’t moving anytime soon. That would give you enough time to swim over and scale up the side of the ship. If you could run along mud, sharp sticks, and rocks, you could definitely scale a boat. 

The water was cold when you first entered it. It made you shiver harshly, but you pushed through it. The salty water managed to clean off some of the mud that had stuck to your clothes. It felt refreshing when you dipped your head underwater for a second so you could feel the dirt on your face wash away too. 

When you did reach the ship, your feet still touched the ground, thankfully. It wasn’t that deep to your luck.  There were windows you could grab onto, but they were higher up than you could confidently grab. The only thing that would give you leverage was the barnacles that stuck to the lower side of the ship. You go to grab one, and only then did you feel how sharp they were. Biting your lip, you take a deep breath before actively grabbing onto the barnacles. 

Climbing the first few feet seemed torturous. You could feel them dig deep into your skin. They did end up leaving cuts that had you bleeding, but you were so close now, you weren’t gonna give up now. 

When you managed to grab the window and get a good grip, you let out a sigh of relief. With shaky arms, you pull yourself up. You swing your leg over the wall of the ship, and when you feel your feet touch the grass of the ship-

Grass?

Looking down, you see healthy green grass all across the deck. You can feel the grass brush against your feet. The small cuts on the bottom of your feet from the barnacles left small patches of blood on the grass. You’d have to look down on the grass for a few seconds if you wanted to see it. Maybe the rain will wash it away. You’d hate to bleed all over the boat of the people who would be your saviors. 

Suddenly, You hear voices in the distance. Fear fills your being as you quickly look around to find someplace to hide. Your gut told you to go up the stairs to the first door, so you quickly did. Trying not to make as much noise as possible. Who the voices belonged to, you didn’t know. But you weren’t gonna take the chance that it was Kidd and his goons. 

When you entered the room, you saw it was a kitchen. Your eyes scanned across the room to find a better hiding spot in said kitchen. A cabinet under the sink caught your eye, and you quickly tried to hide under it. But when you were about to close the door, you saw your bloody footprints leading right to where you were. You tried to wipe all the bloody footprints you could reach, but when you heard the sound of the treading through water and a ramp dropping, you quickly ducked inside your hiding spot.

You finally had time to think after you closed the small door. Thoughts of your escape through the forest, thoughts of the hell you experienced, and the thoughts of the man that let you free.

“I’m putting you in charge of her, alright? If I see a single scratch on her, I’ll have your head on a stick!” The man holding the chain that your collar was connected only nodded at Kidd.

“I’d come with your princess, but we need supplies. Plus, you’ve been a good girl. I know by now you won’t run away, right?”

“I won’t run at all. I can’t wait to see you later.” You sent a forceful smile his way, and he sent his smug one back. He turned around and started walking towards the ship where other crew mates were. Only when he left your sight is when your heart calmed down.

It was humiliating. Being chained up like this in public. You would’ve rather crawled in a hole and die then deal with the constant eyes staring at you. Nothing in this town made it worth the stares.

This town was known for having some of the best sweets, and Kidd thought that after so long of you not making a fuss or trying anything, that you were trustworthy enough to go out of the ship. Of course, he still had someone go with you. Just in case someone were to take you away from him.

“Is there someplace you want to go?” The man next to you finally cut the silence. You look up at him, and you notice that you’ve never met him. He was on your right side, and he looked almost just as tall as Kidd.  His hair was much longer, and he had what you guessed to be tattoos all across his arms and some on his face. His voice was much calmer than Kidd’s, and it was a definitely needed breath of fresh air. 

“Can we just walk?” He nodded, and you both started walking in the direction of the town. Hopefully, you’ll never come to this island again after this.

“What's your name?” The least that he could do is tell you his name so you at least know who’s dragging you around like a dog.

“Heat. Yours?”

“(Y/N). I guess Kidd doesn’t talk about me. ”

“Have you been on the ship this whole time? I haven’t seen you at all.”

“I’ve just been stuck below deck in the smallest room for about 6 months before Kidd decided that I’d been good enough to be locked up in his bedroom.” Your voice felt light as you try to explain.

“So, was it you he was yelling at and not him just talking to himself? And this collar thing isn’t some twisted kink I got roped into?” Disbelief dripped from his words, and all you could do was nod as you looked forward. You didn’t want him to see you tearing up.

“Yeah, it was me he was screaming at. He used to get really violent with me before my skull cracked. After that, he hasn’t done anything violent towards me. The collar thing is just a way to show ownership and that he can have control over me.”

“How long have you been… stuck on the ship?”

“Rough guess would be a little over a year maybe? I lost track of the date so I don’t know what month, day or year it is. Hard to keep track in the dark.”

“I see.” A small silence hovered over the two of you as the both of you walked around town. You mostly looked at the ground but every once in a while, you'd look at the man next to you. He always seemed to be deep in thought. You were curious as to what could be going on in his head but you just minded your own. This was your first time in the sun in so long, and you just wanted to soak it up as much as you could before you were stuck in the dark again.

The two of you turn a corner which leads you to the back alley of the town. On the other side of you was a forest that seemed so calm. It made you sad, so you tried to ignore it and go back into the sun, but of course, with your luck, you see the sun getting blocked by obvious rain clouds. You let out a few swears before continuing to walk, only to be stopped when you see Heat stopping in his tracks. Turning around, you give him a questioning look. 

“Come here.” Your heart beat rapidly at his request. Did you do something wrong? Was he gonna tell Kidd something? In fear of the following, you just did what he said and looked up at him. You see his hand move to the side of your collar, and you hear the sound of the chain unhooking, making your eyes widen.

Your hands immediately go to feel around your neck. The collar was still there, but the chain that was once hooked to you was gone. 

“Run. I don’t wanna see you back on the ship, do you understand?” Tears started pouring down your cheeks, and all you could do was look up at the man before wrapping him in a crushing hold.

“Thank you…thank you so much.” Your voice was barely a whisper before you took off into the forest. With your heart beating louder than ever, the sound of crunching leaves never registered. You move your gaze back to Heat for a second, and you see him standing in the same place you left him. Looking at the tree line before throwing the chain in the garbage and walking back towards the way you came.

You didn’t know what would happen to him when Kidd saw you were gone, but you only hoped that the man who saved you would be spared. 

With that thought heavy in your mind, you made sure that you weren’t gonna let his sacrifice be in vain.

Your mind was pulled out from your memories when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs, even through the rain. It felt like your heart jumped out of your chest when you heard the door to the kitchen open. You could feel your breath hitch.

“Sanji wouldn’t mind if I got a snack-AHHHHH!” The voice of what you assumed to be on the younger variety let out a wail after entering the kitchen. They must have seen the bloody footprints. They weren’t really hard to miss in the first place, then again.

“What the hell are you screaming about?” A deeper male voice rang through the kitchen, and that only made you cover your mouth, praying they didn’t hear your heavy breathing. More footsteps run up, and they slowly enter the kitchen.

“Is that blood?!”

“Why is there blood in my kitchen?!”

“It leads to that cabinet.” The monotone voice of a woman strikes fear inside you. Why did they have to find you so fast? How could you have been so unlucky?

The sound of footsteps coming closer to the small door made tears fall down your eyes. They weren’t even out to sea yet and they found you. Stupid barnacles and their sharp points. 

You feel your body freeze when your met with the face of a woman with beautiful blue eyes. Her blank face only made you cry harder.

“It's a woman. It seems both her hands and feet seem to be bleeding.” You try scooting closer to the back of the cabinet even though you only moved seemingly an inch. The faces of multiple people soon come into your view, and you’ve never felt so overwhelmed since the day you were captured.

“What are you doing on my ship?!” A man with jet-black hair and a straw hat pushes his way through everyone to get closer to your face.

You try to talk but all that came out were hard sobs. The sound of your voice cracking wile crying probably sounded like a whole other language. You couldn’t even see their faces anymore as the tears made your vision to blurry.

“Luffy! It’s obvious she’s hurt and scared! Be nice to a woman in need!” A man with blond hair violently kicked the man who just yelled at you. 

“We’re not gonna hurt you, your safe to come out.” From your blurry vision, you can see everyone backing up to give you room to come out. Taking a few breaths, you gently move your body out of the cabinet. You try to put your feet down to stand up, but it seems the adrenaline finally wore off. A sharp pain made you whimper and just continue sitting on the ground in the kitchen.

“I’m a doctor, so I can help you!” Wiping the tears from your eyes, you let a shaky smile spread across your face. 

~~~

The sun finally came back outside after what seemed like hours of you running through it. It felt so nice to be able to stand outside with the fear of being dragged back into the dark. The crew mates of the ship were kind enough to patch you up and let you hitch a ride to the next island they were docking at. 

You did tell them the basis of your story. Not all the gory details but enough. The little doctor named Chopper gave you some tips and scar cream to try and get rid of the scar on your ankle. He said he was going to look at the raw skin on your neck once you managed to get it off, which led to where you are now. Standing on the back of the ship, watching it slowly drift away from the island and waiting for the swordsman to cut it off.

“Okay, don’t move, or I’ll cut your head off.”

“That's not something you say to a woman, moss head!”  

“Just cut it off and stop arguing! God, your both children!” 

SHLINK

The sound of metal crashing to the ground had your legs feeling weak. For the first time in months, you finally feel like you can fully breathe. The sensation of air hitting the raw skin had your heart beating fast. 

You look down at the broken metal that laid in two pieces in front of your feet. Big globs of tears fall from your face and make a puddle on the ground. 

“Thank you! I cannot thank you enough!” You trap the green-haired man in a crushing hold as you repeat your thanks. Grabbing the metal scraps, you run towards the back railing, and with all your strength, you throw it off the ship. The sight of it barely making it to fall on the sandy beach let you know that after all the hell you’ve experienced, you were finally going to be okay. Soon enough, the waves would take the metal and drag it to the depths.

“Alright, everyone! We’re on our way to the Sabaody Archipelago!” All the crewmates aboard the ship celebrated the new chapter they were about to open. You couldn’t help but celebrate along, as this would also be a new chapter for you-

“(Y/N)!” Your heart stops at the sound of a familiar scream. Turning around, you see the devil himself running out of the woods. The broken collar in his hand. You feel your heart drop thinking about that if you hadn’t gotten that cut off sooner, that would have been you in his grip.

The celebration of the crewmates left your mind as you see Kidd running towards the ship your on, only to be stopped by the salty water that protected it. You were far enough to that if he tried to get in the water, he’d definitely drown for sure. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear him.

Gripping the railing, even from so far away, you feel his haunting eyes staring at you. Your throat seems to go dry as you see more of his goons appear from the woods. To your relief somewhat, you see Heat still alive and walking. At least your savior wasn’t hurt.

Even so, you continued to look at Kidd, and you knew he was looking at you. It felt like getting rid of a life-threatening illness and seeing him grow farther and farther into the distance. It felt like you were healing.

“You can run and hide (Y/N), but you’ll always belong to me!”

Then again, illness comes back when your least expect it.

[brainrotcharacters]

so anyway @just-a-little-dragon and I guess the rest of the fandom that fucks with it, here is what I think it'd (Angel Shaw is turned into a werewolf non-con by a third party and they are discovered mid-shift by everybody) be like

Opened my notes app for this and everything

Took creative licenses because I can and I had to do it for the vision

Credits to Erik!

Angel had always been curious what it would feel like—

Their breath grated against their throat, escaping the mouth, their furred snout, in hot puffs of air. Every footstep, now two pairs for the hind legs that pushed them forth, was heavy against the soil. Run. Get back home.

—being a werewolf.

A sob of pain slipped out, morphing into a yelp that only a dog could make. Angel descended the crest of the land that marked the perimeter of the pack den. As they hit the ground, a burning sensation coursed through their left arm as it shifted back into human form, and Angel crashed. Within moments, the brown fur and flesh of a werewolf reformed itself.

The Winter Solstice. None of the wolves would be home right now. They would already be on their run. Who knows how far David is right now—

Angel howled as they galloped, hoping beyond all hope that David could hear. And if not David, at least the non-shifters among the pack would know. Help. Help me.

Babe stood at the heart of the courtyard that was the pack den. They pause from gathering the children, turning their head towards the entrance and the direction of that howl. Did one of the wolves forget something? Has the search team for Angel found anything?

And then a wolven paw touches the threshold of the compound. The elders and mothers of the pack growled as one, flanking Babe on either side and herding the children behind their backs. What was brown fur in one second melted into gray, then into black, as a different werewolf approached them. Its wolven face trembled, crumpled into itself, reforming into a familiar human face—

"Stay back!" One of the elders extended a hand. "Wait!"

"That's Angel!" Babe exclaimed.

The elder snarled back. "Interfere now and you'll make the pain worse! Stay vigilant. Try to contact David."

A mated vampire was in the compound. Babe shouted. "Sam! Sam!!!"

Three, five, seven werewolves shifted, containing Angel in a circle. Tremors wracked Angel's body as their spinal column contorted upon itself, spittle and blood slipping through their canines, their teeth, and back again.

Between human sobbing and wolven whimpering, Angel managed, "David...!?"

A number of the children behind them had started to cry.

Only a cold, solid male hand on their back told Babe that Sam now stood behind them. "What is it—? Is that... Angel?"

"Tell Tank," Babe tapped Sam on the chest, using the nickname Asher and Milo had used. They didn't look away from Angel. "Tell Tank. Tell David. Now!"

As it turns out, there was no need. Several sets of padded feet thundered through the courtyard entrance, and Asher, Milo, and Darlin maintained their momentum as they arrived. A massive deep brown wolf remained in front of them, animalistic focus fixed on Angel's trembling form.

The rest of the returning pack remained aside as Angel turned too rapidly, that wolven instinct refusing to expose its back to an alpha in such proximity. Even as a mated pair.

Mate. The bond was even more strikingly clear the longer David looked at Angel. A wolf—someone turned his mate into a werewolf on Winter Solstice and he wasn't around to protect them—

"Davey," Angel's broken, human voice splintered the air, even as they keep their head bowed to the ground, as others tended to do in his presence.

Not Angel. It should never involve Angel. David strained to reel back his power, reminding himself of the first time he shifted for them. When he tried to make himself look smaller, harmless, best that he could.

Come on, baby. It's okay. It's just me. You're safe. I promise.

Across the dirt between them, Angel reached out one white paw. And then the other. Their canine head slumped weakly onto the soil.

The pack fell quiet as David approached, nostrils flaring as he sniffed at his partner. Erratic heartbeat, labored breathing. He ducked low, propping Angel's head above his own when he suddenly moved and Angel yelped.

STOP.

David withdrew a feet back as Angel scrambled to their trembling feet. They shake their head, and through the bond, David consoles. Sorry. How do I help?

Angel's canine ears twitch in his direction. Their eyes aren't wholly focused, tending to look over David's shoulders. You... Telepathy. Telepathy?

David nods. It's stronger for mates, but I have it with the pack, too. They're not hearing us right now. It's our call.

Angel tucked their hind legs in, using their front paws to grasp at their snout, at their eyes as they whimpered. David took small steps closer, copying their position but carefully nosing at Angel's snout with his own. Angel, what can I do?

A moment passes, and then Angel drops their front paws. Blinking up at David, they push past the next tremble that shot through their body as they crawl closer, nestling their head into that spot under David's neck and curling their bodies together. David easily cradled his wolf's hind legs around Angel's body, his tail reaching up until the back of Angel's head.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Tail. It's just my tail. David chuckled.

Angel relaxed, nuzzling further into David's chest. They were quiet for a moment, and David had the sense that Angel was trying to recall basic human language as they eventually responded. You fucking menace.

With love. David wrapped his body around them tighter. Always with love.

Angel came first. He was going to hunt down who was responsible for doing this to his mate, but beforehand, Angel came first.

[ravennaortiz]

Summary: Bottles is in love with you and he has been working hard to prove that point. A Dark Bottles Story. As always 18+

You swallowed hard as your eyes went from your friends face to the body twitching on the ground. The sounds of the party had long since faded. You felt your stomach churn as you noted the blood dripping off the knife. Had he been holding the knife the whole time? Your heart was pounding and the urge to flee was high but you stood rooted to the ground.

Bottles watch you with the ease of a cat stretching in the sun. He wasn’t overly concerned you had found him with a knife buried in the gut of a guy who had been dancing with you minutes ago. He knew without a doubt he could over power you easily enough. Wouldn’t even break a sweat. He turned back to the man on the ground who was still alive and coughing up blood as his breaths became shallow.

The crunching and snapping of twigs told him you had fled. Laughing as he glanced over his shoulder he noted you were going the wrong way. You had never been one to be good with directions. “Run run as fast as you can” yelled Bottles after your retreating figure before plunging his knife through the eye of the man on the ground. “Shouldn’t have looked at my girl” he growled before wiping the blood off on the guys shirt. Stretching he put the knife away and listened to the sound of you crashing through the woods. Yeah. This will be easy he thought to himself as he started to walk in the direction you were feeing.

You lungs burned as you frantically ran through the woods. Tears still flowing down your cheeks, blinding you even more in the darkened trees. Branches tore at your face, hair and clothing. You stumbled over roots and loose rocks. Your mind full of the images of your best friend standing with a knife in someone. Was he obsessed with you? Your friends had said he was to interested in you but you had dismissed them as just him being protective. He would never hurt you. Right?

“Ahh” you cried out as you felt your foot slip and a sharp pain followed by a pop and intense burning pain going up your leg. You fell to the ground with a thud, your head hitting a rock and your teeth biting into your lip filling your mouth with blood. Even with adrenaline pumping through your veins you couldn’t get up. The pain to intense as you tried to keep quiet and regain some composure. You were dragging yourself across the dirt path when you heard the snap of a branch behind you. A cold shiver went down your spine as you heard Bottles speak.

“Oh no. Babe did you hurt yourself?” cooed Bottles gently as he walked over to you. His eyes filled with worry as he observed you. You were shocked by not only how fast he had caught up to you but also how calm and collected he looked. As if you hadn’t just seen him kill someone. As if this was just a normal night for the two of you.

“Please Bottles” you started as he knelt next to you, his hand almost on your leg. Stopping to meet your gaze as he waited for you to finish. “Please don’t hurt me” you begged ashamed at how weak you sounded and the way your voice cracked.

Bottles tilted his head. Absorbing your words. They hurt him deeply but he knew you didn’t mean too. You were just a tad frightened and hurt, the pain making you say silly things. “I would never hurt you. You are my world” he replied as his hand rested on your injured ankle. “I think though it would be best for you to go to sleep for a bit” he whispered before jabbing you in the side of the thigh with something. You gasped and tried to get up but a jolt from a taser kept you on the ground. “Shhh.” Soothed Bottles as he brushed your hair off your face as you lay crying and trembling on the ground. “Let the medicine take effect”. Once you were out Bottles gently lifted you bridal style and made his way to where he had a van hidden. “Going to get you home now love. Get you cleaned up, patched up and in some clean clothes. You will feel better in the morning.” He murmured as he went.

Few Days Later

You were pushing your food around, eyes on your plate. Bottles sat across from you humming and smiling. Acting as if nothing weird was going on. Like he hadn’t been keeping you here against your will and shit. He kept you chained up and always within his sight. If for some reason he couldn’t watch you like when he was sleeping he put you in the box. The box was terrifying and you screamed and fought every time. It was barely big enough for you and was shaped like a coffin. Bottles had joked it would save him on cost if you acted up to much and pushed him over the edge. When you had started o cry he had been quick to say that would never happen because he loved you too much. So much he would just stuff you if he had to kill you. That way he would have you forever.

“You will understand one day love. I did this all for you. For us. For our children” stated Bottles calmly breaking you from your thoughts. Meeting his eyes you swallowed hard as you nodded. Letting a small smile creep across your face.

 “I know Bottles” you replied. You hated to admit it but a small part of you wanted to give in. Bottles had been so sweet and caring, he had never hurt you like other guys. Would it really be so bad to be with him forever? Make a family?

"Could we get married?" you asked making Bottles raise a brow at you.

"In time love" he replied as he grinned at you. "Your show will be on soon" he stated as he glanced at the clock before turning the ipad on that sat between you both. He smiled as you eagerly clapped as you heard the music play. Your eyes glazing over as the hypnosis took place. This had been a lot of work but the reward would be great.

[meraki24601]

Why Did You Do This: Part 2

Hero had no choice but to break through the weakened wall as the building began to collapse around them. The civilian they carried got a large scratch on their arm from a chunk of the wall that had been left sticking out, and they were unconscious, but they were still alive as all three stories of the building behind them came crashing down. Between the ground shaking from the destruction and the burns covering their body, Hero went down with it.

They were too slow. Villain usually waited until Hero arrived at the scene to take action. It was a vain flaw that Hero was typically able to take advantage of, but not today. The bomb had already gone off before Villain placed the call.

“Four out of ten. Not bad, considering. I think this one is barely even burned. I didn’t expect the flames to spread this quickly, but it was an old building. Too bad you didn’t have a chance to warn them. ” Villain’s voice called over the crackling fire and sirens filling the air.

“Villain.” Hero groaned as they shifted the civilian out of the direct line of fire. “What did you do?” 

The question lingered as Villain blinked with wide eyes. “Uh, blew up a building. What did you think I did?”

Hero needed to get to their feet. The heat against their back was already nearing unbearable. With Villain looking so smug, they couldn’t risk letting themselves get cornered. The pain of standing on burned and torn legs didn’t matter as long as there were still people who needed saving.

The strike hit Hero’s stomach before they knew Villain had approached. “Boo. Stay down. You don’t deserve to stand when you let people die like that.”

Hero struck out at Villain, but they were already so far back they didn’t have to dodge the blow. “Why did you do this, Villain? You’re the one who killed them. You blew up the building!”

“It was pretty. The pressure from the explosion made my heart pound as it knocked me off my feet.”

“Why didn’t you wait?” Hero fought back the tears as they pulled the civilian closer to protect them from an inevitable blow. “Why, Villain? Why?”

Part 1, Part 3

[hawkeyetrained]

Run. Get to Stiles.

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Hale sister!reader

Other characters: Noah Stilinski, Derek Hale

Warnings: Hunters?, blood, gun shot wounds, fear, let me know if I missed something

Summary: Hunters catch her off guard and she has to run for her life

Word Count: 1,955

Run. That was the only thing screaming out in my mind. Run or you’re going to die. Run or they are going to chain you up and torture you for information on your pack. Run or others might die.

Get to Stiles. Get to Derek. Get to Scott. Those were the next statements playing as I pushed myself as fast as I could through the woods. Get to Chris, or anyone.

Blood trickled from a wound on my shoulder, coating my jacket and soaking into the cotton of my shirt. Thank god the bullet that tore through my skin was normal, a simple hollow point that had hit and expanded into my skin, making sure my healing wouldn’t start with the offensive metal still lodged in my body.

The sky was pitch black, the moon shrouded out by dense clouds that blocked any possible light. If I didn’t have my heightened senses, I surely would have been running in circles and tripping on roots. Branches from trees were barely blocked by my hands as I ran, keeping any from scratching my face so I could focus on getting away.

“This way!” I heard a voice shout, probably looking at the messy footprints and blood drops from where I had just been a moment ago.

BANG

A scream ripped it’s way through my lungs as another bullet lodged itself into my leg, this one searing more than the last. My steps fumbled and I crashed down a drop off in the woods, tumbling my way through fallen leaves and over huge stones that sliced into my jacket, hands, and head. The bottom came all too quickly, stopping me in my place almost instantly and knocking the breath from my lungs.

I pushed back my messy hair from my face and pulled myself back onto my feet, eyes flashing as I tried to figure out what way town was. Lights flickered at the top of the hill I had just fallen down, and without thinking I just headed off in the direction that would take me away from them.

Dawn had to be approaching. My legs ached and my lungs burned from running for hours. My head swirling with everything I was telling myself. Run. Don’t stop, run. Get to Stiles, get to Derek, get to someone.

Street. You’re running on a paved road. You’re back in the city and the sun is coming up. Go, run, Stiles isn’t too far away. Get to him and call Derek. That’s his house. There’s his car, and his dads. Scream. Wake him up. Draw attention.

“Stiles!” My voice was no where near as loud as I wanted it to be. Exhaustion and the burning in my lungs from running taking its toll. My skin had to be pale in color by now. My jeans and shoes clinging to my body from the blood that never seemed to stop pouring from my wounds, hair sticking to my head from my sweat dripping down. “Stiles!” Again, I called out for the boy who was always at my side.

His front door opened and out came the sheriff followed closely by his son. “Y/N?” Stiles voice called from the front step. “Oh my god.” His dad had made it to the bottom of the driveway, stood with his hand on his hip, his gun, as he watched the road and woods behind me as I slammed into the chest of his son. My arms wrapped around Stiles, clinging to the boy as tightly as I could while trying to calm my racing heart.

“I can’t-I can’t run anymore.” One of his arms held my waist to him while the other rested on the back of my head, helping me realize I was finally safe.

Soft golden rays of sunlight began to strike through the dark sky, giving light to just how bad a condition I was actually in to the two Stilinski men.

“Honey, what were you running from?” Noah turned from the woods to look at me

“Hunters.” My voice shook as exhaustion began to seep into my body. “So many. Never seen them before.”

“I got you now.” Stiles hugged me tighter, brushing his fingers through my hair.

“You’re hurt.” Noah noticed the blood soaking nearly everything I wore. “Bad.”

I shook my head. “Jus’ need the bullets removed. I’ll be fine.” My arms wrapped tighter to Stiles, eyes dropping closed as I finally got my breathing under control. “Need help.”

“I got you now. We’re gonna help you. You’re safe sweetheart.” Stiles pressed a kiss to the side of my head before unwrapping one of his arms and helping me into his room upstairs. “Umm, ok. I’m gonna go grab the first aid kit, and some clothes you can change into. Give me a sec, ok?”

I nodded at him before he took off for the things he needed. I took this time to start pulling my blood soaked clothes off to make pulling the metal from my skin easier. My shoes and jeans were the first things to go, being tossed into the corner of his room that held an empty laundry basket. The jacket was a bit harder to pull off with how badly my shoulder burned as I pulled the fabric away.

“Woah woah.” Stiles threw his supplies down on the bed and helped pull the jacket off my arms when he saw the pain in my eyes. “Let me help.” His hands were gentle to trail up my sides and bring the cotton over my head, leaving me in my bra and underwear, both slightly red stained in a few spots. “You wanna lay down for me? So I can get the bullets out?”

A hum escaped my lips as I crawled into his bed and rested my head on his soft pillows. I could feel his hands shake and hear his breathing pick up when he caught sight of my wounds and all the blood that covered my skin. “Hey, I’ll be ok. Wanna grab your dad to get the bullets out?”

“No.” He denied, fingers of one hand resting gently on the inner side of my thigh to turn my leg towards him. “I can do this.”

“I know you can.” I reassured him. “Take a deep breath.” He did, then moved the tweezers into the small hole in my leg. I gasped in pain as he moved the metal around a little, apologies falling from his mouth as he worked. As quickly as the pain started, it was over and the bullet was pulled from my leg.

“Ok. I got one.” He pressed a handful of gauze to my wound to stop some of the blood from running down my skin. “Got one more to go. You’re doing great.”

“So are you.” A small smile crossed my lips as I caught a glimpse of his shoulders relaxing and his hands staying steady. “This one’ll be a little harder. I could feel it trying to heal around the bullet so it might need more force.”

“I-yeah, ok.” Stiles took another deep breath as he slid up the side of his bed to get a better look at the wound on my shoulder. “Take a deep breath sweetheart.” He was the one telling me to calm my heart rate now.

Just like the last wound, it burned just as much if not more. My hands fisted into his sheets as he dug for the bullet, my mind pleading with my claws to stay away and my eyes to not glow from the pain.

Stiles fingers slipped on the tweezers and pressed into my skin, a growl rumbling in my chest from the pain and remaining fear from running all night. “Sorry, I’m so sorry.” Finally he pulled the bullet out and pressed another mass of gauze to my skin, a sigh leaving my lungs as the healing finally started pulling my skin back together. “I got it. You’re gonna be ok.”

“Thank you.” I smiled tiredly to him. “Can you call Derek? I gotta warn him and I’m sure he’s worried sick.”

“Yeah. I’ll call him. You wanna take a shower?” He pulled his phone from his pants pocket. “You’re kinda covered in blood.”

I took a quick shower, blood running down the drain and being replaced with the smell of Stiles from his few products now coating my skin. His hoodie and sweatpants were sat on the counter when I stepped out, allowing me to change and bush my hair before I joined the Stilinskis in their living room.

Just as I sat down, the front door slammed open. Both Stilinski men jumped from their seats and turned towards the door looking ready to fight off any possible hunters, only for my brother Derek to be stood in the threshold.

“Oh my god.” He mumbled, rushing towards me and pulling me into his arms. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” His hands pulled my face to look at his, his bright blue wolf eyes staring into my golden ones. “What happened?”

“Hunters.” I stated, pulling away and sitting back beside Stiles, his hand coming to rest on my thigh as I pulled my legs up and into my chest, practically curling into his side. “Found me as I was leaving work. Pretty much ran through the woods all night.”

“Are you hurt?” He questioned, sitting to Noah’s side.

“Not anymore. Stiles pulled the bullets from me. Saved my life.” I smiled up at the boy I was hopelessly in love with.

“I can’t thank you enough Stiles.” It was one of the few times I had seen my brother look a little helpless. Knowing Stiles was able to save my life lifted a weight even he didn’t know was on his shoulders.

“I’d do anything for her. You all know that.”

“We need to warn the others, about these hunters in the woods. I don’t know how they are doing it, but I didn’t hear them come up behind me or even smell them before the bullet hit my shoulder. I thought they did something at first, put something in the air, but they managed to completely surprise me.” My hands wrapped around the one Stiles had on my leg, my head resting against his shoulder. “I can’t take anyone else dying. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

Losing each member of the packs ripped at my heart until it was a shredded mess in my chest. That is until Stiles came to my side and mended the tears. Sure, he had been there from the start, just like I had, but we only just realized how in love with each other we were when he was possessed last year.

“I’ll get the word out to the pack, let everyone know to not be alone and to keep an eye out for absolutely anything.” Derek had his phone in his hand already. “No one goes anywhere without someone else with them.”

“They need to know about the surprise part. Can’t be cautious if they don’t know I couldn’t hear the hunters attack.” Stiles gripped me a little tighter. “Can I stay here for a little while? I really don’t wanna be too far from you at the moment.” My eyes glanced up at Stiles.

“Of course.” He looked to his dad and then Derek. “You can stay as long as you want.” I cuddled into his side tighter. “We’ll protect you.”

It may not be easy, this fight against the people who know of us and are scared of us. But I knew one thing, as long as I had the pack, my bother, and Stiles, we’d be able to handle anything.

@thetallassgirl @hallecarey1 @bellabadacadabra

[stillaclownlol]

Just a thing with Aidlyn, he's a little obsessive here tho, so...be warned ":>

They're a bit older, enough to drive/get a driver's license.

Aiden took a long, deep drag of his cigarette, the fumes burning his throat, before letting the smoke billow out of the corners of his mouth, like a dragon, the heat a warning of something worse to come. Of course, it was disgusting. It was rare for him not to find himself disgusting.

Epinephrine

"That's disgusting."

He'd quit, if she asked. But she hadn't used those specific words yet, so. "I know."

Ash tucked a bright red tendril of hair behind her ear- God, he loved her hair, he had a lock of it home, but, she didn't need to know that- while sighing. "So, what? You just came on my porch to smoke like an asshole?"

He let himself frown at that. It was a strange, awkward motion that felt wrong on his face, but, he was trying to be more honest with his emotions around her, because she didn't like his 'mask', as she had bluntly put it. "You weren't picking up my calls."

She groaned, putting her fingers to her temple and the bridge of her nose. It was a gesture he saw a lot of, especially directed at him. His mother, disappointed. His dad, frustrated. Ben, irritated. And now, Ashlyn as well.

What am I doing wrong? Why can't I get it right? What do you want, and how can I give it to you?

"I didn't pick up because I was upset with you."

Duh. He wasn't that stupid.

"I'm sorry. Again." He meant it, too. He was so fucking sorry all the time. He knew he was...difficult, to handle. But he didn't know any other way of being. She was a goddamned Saint for putting up with him, honestly. He genuinely wanted to kill himself whenever she was mad at him. Why even live if she wasn't going to be around him?

St. Ashlyn of Alto, Patron of Patience and Fuck Ups.

For some reason, his apology seemed to have the opposite effect it had intended. "Sorry? Are you joking right now?

It would be a lousy fucking joke if he was. "I'm serious, I'm sorry. I...I messed up- again. I just...I don't know-"

Ash crossed her arms, and he thought for a second how unfair it was that she still looked so pretty when she was so pissed off at him. "Aiden, you can't just go on joyrides after a binge! You could've killed someone!"

He took another drag, his jaw clenching painfully.

"You- You could've killed yourself." There was a note of desperation in her tone, one he was intimately familiar with. She loved him. He could hear it in the nervous tremor in her voice whenever that desperation spilt into her words. His heart skipped a beat, went all aflutter, something sufficiently ridiculous and enamoured.

He did a lot of things that could get himself killed.

It was always just for fun. But nothing beat the high he felt when she looked at him with those eyes, wide and pleading. Adoring. For a few, heartache inducing seconds, it almost seemed to him that she loved him the way he loved her.

But always after, she pulled away. Cold and guarded like when they'd first met. It was horrible, if that look was like hitting a high, that cold-shoulder was like the worst kind of crash. Worse than a hangover, worse than detoxing, worse than any pain he'd gone through in his life.

The closest word he could compare it to was soul-crushing. And even then, he didn't think it quite measured up to how he felt.

"Forgive me, please." Abruptly, he pulled her into his arms, sinking his nose into her hair. She smelled nice, he didn't know like what exactly, but it was nice.

He felt her body stiffen uncomfortably for a moment, before relaxing into his touch, a long, drawn-out sigh escaping her lips. It was a tired sigh, the sigh of somebody burdened heavily, but completely resigned. "...Give me some time."

But she still wrapped her hands around his waist, and already warmth rushed through his veins, her fingers causing goosebumps to rise over his skin. A shiver crawled slowly up his spine, both delighted and disturbed. He hugged her a little tighter, dug his nails into the fabric of her shirt, like she'd slip through his hands if he wasn't careful.

She will, if you aren't careful. Get it together.

"We have all the time in the world," he murmured, soft and still, but he knew she would hear him.

She leaned up towards him, balancing gracefully on the tip of her toes, and fixed him with a hard, angry stare. "Seriously, if you do that again, I'll kill you myself."

His heart stuttered, erratic and unsteady. He thought of her pinning him to the cold ground, a knife to his throat, her eyes as dark as the sky above them. And she looked beautiful back-lit by the stars, the blade gleaming.

You could. You could, and I would let you.

"I'll behave, scout's honor." He crossed an X over his heart and cracked a smile at her. To his relief, she smiled back at him.

(Well, it wasn't really a smile, but at least she wasn't scowling anymore.)

"I doubt it," she answered, but there was no malice in her voice. Only something ironic.

"Maybe I need an incentive?" He was probably pushing his luck, but it didn't hurt to try-

Ash looked at him strangely, in a way he couldn't read. "...Alright."

She rested her hands on his shoulders and pulled him towards her, their mouths meeting clumsily, uncoordinated. Inexplicably, she tasted like candy.

Heart palpitations. Arrhythmia. Dizziness. Accelerated breathing. What are these the symptoms of?

He kissed her a little more forcefully, a gnawing hunger growing in the pit of his stomach, and he waited for the sugar-rush to hit him.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

💖 Sapphic Books Out April 2025

🩷 Good afternoon, bookish bats. By now, you know that sweet, sapphic romance books have a special place in my heart. Here are only a few of the amazing sapphic books that hit shelves in April 2025.

❓ What was the last sapphic book you read?

💖 I Hated You in High School by Kathleen Gros 🩷 To Be Loved by Shannon O’Connor 💖 Carousel Summer by Kathleen Gros 🩷 Coming Up Clutch by Anna Gram 💖 Just a Peck by Chelsea Jean 🩷 Francine’s Spectacular Crash and Burn by Renee Swindle 💖 Anywhere You Go by Bridget Morrissey 🩷 Ordinary Saints by Niamh Ní Mhaoileoin 💖 Everything Is Fine Here by Iryn Tushabe

💖 Direct Descendant by Tanya Huff 🩷 The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet by Lindz McLeod 💖 Reluctant Witch by Melissa Marr 🩷 A Fellowship of Bakers & Magic by J. Penner 💖 The Lie That Binds Them by Matthew Ward 🩷 Renegade Girls by Nora Neus & Julie Robine 💖 Eat the Ones You Love by Sarah Maria Griffins 🩷 Where Shadows Meet by Patrice Caldwell 💖 Waters of Destruction by Leslie Karst

💖 Sometimes We Fly by Cheyenne Blue 🩷 Sweet, Spicy, Delicate by Allison Ashton 💖 Some Body Like Me by Lucy Lapinska 🩷 Advocate by Daniel M. Ford 💖 My Lady Hiraya by Steven Sy 🩷 Whisk Me Away by Georgia Beers 💖 Mothers of Fate by Lynne Hugo 🩷 Lady Chaos by Kate Elliott 💖 A Body Not Her Own by Eileen Farren

💖 Firecamp by Jaycie Morrison 🩷 All Fired Up by M. K. England 💖 In Her Sanctum by Emma Bailey 🩷 Defective by Ivy Lovell 💖 black&white – Episode 1: HUE by Soph Tang 🩷 Every Sweet Thing is Bitter by Samantha Crewson 💖 Skin by Kathe Koja 🩷 Mere by Danielle Giles 💖 Tonight, I Bleed by Katharine J. Adams

💖 A Ballad for Slayers & Monsters by Rita A. Rubin 🩷 You Belong to Me by Hayley Krischer 💖 A Line You Have Traced by Roisin Dunnett 💖 Low Orbit by Kazimir Lee 🩷 Roll for Love by M. K. England 💖 I Love You S’more by Auriane Desombre 🩷 If We Were a Movie by Zakiya N. Jamal 💖 Flirting Lessons by Jasmine Guillory 🩷 Nav’s Foolproof Guide to Falling in Love by Jessica Lewis

[chaussonsauxapples]

I think I forget sometimes how tightly my love for music is tangled up with my love for people. For moments. For comfort.

I remember my mom cooking with France Gall playing in the background. When I feel homesick now, I play her songs. I even stole the CD from home—it’s old, scratched up. Track six skips every time.

I remember finding Sum 41, Paramore, Avril Lavigne in my brother’s room. I listened to them like they were a secret map to understanding him. We never talked about those artists, but I still carry those burned CDs with me like relics.

I didn’t care about One Direction—until one sleepover, age 13. Suddenly I had to pick a favorite (mine was Niall, because we were five girls and everyone had to claim one). We watched every video diary, knew the lyrics by heart. We still talk about that time. Somewhere at home there’s a box with 1D bracelets and summer-hit compilations and inside jokes.

I remember summer 2017 in my friend’s car. She only had one CD: Blurryface by Twenty One Pilots. We played it on loop. I bought Blurryface and Vessel when I got my first car. (I crashed it—Blurryface got permanently stuck in the player.) When the Clancy Tour was announced, I asked her if she wanted to go, even though it would be hard—she was far away, in between jobs. She just said yes. No hesitation. And after the concert, she smiled at me and said, “We have to see them every time they come to France now.” Like it was tradition.

I remember the first time a close friend played the harp for me. He never did, even though he’d been playing for years. It was an Aurora song. He explained her to me—her music, her world. I fell into it. He told me his favorite, and later just… bought us both tickets. Didn’t even ask. That show felt like magic. Like awe. When I listen to her now, I hear him.

I don’t play all those CDs often, but they’re here. Quiet reminders. They’re little memory safes.

And I don’t think that’s rare. If you pause, I bet you have an artist too—someone who makes you think of a friend, a sibling, a sleepover, a drive, a time in your life. I bet there’s music that became yours together.

Maybe that’s what music is made for. Or maybe I just like sound.