#and it's SCARY when you are stripped from what little resources you had to begin with at the end of the world.

[securcity-archive]

eden has exiled people before. there have been people who have been caught doing not good things ( abusive, contraband ring, association to the angels, etc. ) and eden has had to come together and exile that person to outside of the walls. no matter how beloved they may be within the community. they will lock the person up in a quarantine room inside of medical until the next time eden opens their walls like clockwork, and then walk with the person to ensure that they leave and become exiled.

[asset35-maya]

Prompt no. 18 from this list

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

“Sorry, just give me a minute, babe. I need to recalibrate the interface I’m using…”

Gavin’s voice trailed off. The only sound in the room was from the clacking of his keyboard, his fingers flying across the keys.

Nines tried his best to take his mind off his situation. Immobile in bed… with the very real possibility that it could be permanent.

It was a just a software update… just another afternoon nap… but now he had no idea whether he’d ever move again.

Noticing his stress levels spiking, he focused on Gavin. The crease of his brows… the old scar across his nose… the determined set of his jaw as he scrubbed through lines and lines of code to find the root of the problem.

Gavin.

Lover. Friend. Saviour.

The man he depended on for everything, including his continued existence.

Nines silently thanked whichever force of nature had brought him into the safety and sanctity of Gavin’s embrace. RA9 or God or the laws of physics that dictated where atoms would end up from the beginning of time.

Not all androids were as lucky as he was.

After the Revolution, the digital giant known as Cyberlife had been dissolved under political pressure from New Jericho and its vehement supporters. Android production ceased, Cyberlife’s assets were stripped and its R&D departments were spun off into smaller, more benign companies.

People were elated in the beginning… and then they realised there was no one around to maintain and service the androids that now comprised 30% of American citizenry. Private technicians had booming business, but they were eventually overwhelmed.

The worst of it was the software.

The patches, the bug fixes, the security.

No single company was able to do it by themselves and individuals realised they were pretty much on their own. Human husbands and wives and girlfriends and brothers and pretty much everyone scrambled to learn how to take care of beloved androids on their own.

Gavin was one of the most capable ones. He knew how to do most of the mechanical work and quickly taught himself the software and systems elements. When Nines asked him how he was so proficient… whether he learnt any of it in college… he wouldn’t respond directly. The closest Nines had gotten to an answer was a grumbled “s what happens when you share a room for fifteen years with the nerdy prick that started all this trouble in the first place”

It was initially tough on the both of them… and expensive… as they figured out how to do things by trial… but Gavin was confident and adamant that he wouldn’t let Nines down. He quickly reached a steady state, even managing to get a maintenance routine in place.

But he couldn’t be perfect.

And there were things he couldn’t control.

Androids were the most complicated cyberphysical systems on the planet. Anything and everything could go wrong at any time…

And it had… during a major OS update.

“Babe, can you hear me?”

Nines’ LED cycled yellow once and went back to red.

Gavin held one of the limp hands in his own.

“Can you feel this?”

The LED spun again.

“Great. And I’m pretty sure you can see me, I know that look in your eyes, babydoll. Hmm… okay, that means all the sensors and IOT device connections are fineee…”

The musing continued as Gavin set aside the laptop and scooted closer to Nines. A gentle hand came up to tilt the android’s face from side to side.

“But you can’t talk…”

“AAAAAAAAAA”

“Wow. Never make that noise in the bedroom again. Hmm… Okay, this means your vocal chords are fine but you can’t move your mouth. Huh.. well… you can’t seem to move anything… not that different from your usual participation levels in bed then. Not to worry.”

The only thing Nines could do was glare and Gavin seemed relieved that even that was possible. He patted the android’s cheek.

“I’ll check your motor actuation and control. Simple modules. I should be able to see anything strange right away.”

Gavin resumed scrolling through the chunks of code and running searches for common errors. But minutes passed… and turned into an hour… and the hour, doubled, tripled.

But Gavin was undeterred. He had to be. Giving up was not an option. Plus, years of being a dedicated police officer had wiped out any fears of hard work and failure… he would scroll all night if it came to that.

A notification popped up on the screen.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Sweetheart, you’ve been trying for hours. Take a break.

Gavin turned to his side. Nines could detect the worry and agitation behind the facade of lighthearted calm.

“I know right. It’s not fair. You’ve been chilling this whole time I’ve been working. Tsk tsk.”

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m serious, Gavin. Stop. Take a break for today. Call someone. You can try again tomorrow morning.

“Nines, you’re not a work assignment. I can’t take a break from you. You can get up and close this laptop for me.”

A few more hours passed. Frowning, Gavin climbed under the covers with Nines and began troubleshooting and testing all other modules too. It was a massive undertaking, but he’d be damned if he didn’t do it.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Know when to give up on a lost cause.

It was nearly two in the morning when that message popped up. Gavin’s eyes were red from all the screen time, but his fighting spirit had not flagged. If anything, he felt close to the finish line. Having gone through nearly the entirety of his lover’s system architecture, there were only a few stones left unturned. He’d identify the problem, win half the battle and then the solution would flow from there. It always did. They’d be fine.

He turned to tell Nines precisely that and balked at the tears staining the android’s perfect face.

“Hey…”

Gavin leaned over his partner and wiped the tears away.

“Hey… shhh… don’t… don’t worry, I’ll take care of you…”

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I’m putting you through all this. Things can’t go on like this. I’m such a liability. Emotionally, physically, financially! You can’t keep doing this for me, Gavin.

Gavin placed the laptop on the bedside table and slipped deeper under the covers, wrapping himself around Nines’ still form.

“It’s a good thing you can’t speak right now, cause you’re talking some major bullshit, baby. You are going to be FINE. I will take care of you, like always, like I promised.

You are not a liability. You are my man. I signed up for this. If you were human and sick and I dunno, needed a kidney or something, I’d simply give it to you. You and I are bound like that. For life.

So quit bitching, let me do my thing, and when you’re back… you know how to thank me.”

He smiled genuinely as he said that, stroking the android’s skin and trying to calm him down. When the speed of the LED cycles came down and the colour stabilised at a warm amber, Gavin kissed the frozen lips and gave Nines one last cuddle before returning to his computer.

Sunrise began to streak across the dark sky by the time the critical error was identified. Gavin sighed deeply as he pulled up the faulty synchronisation that had jammed the hundreds of motors and drives throughout Nines’ body.

There was actually nothing much to be said for the root cause of the failed execution loop. Just improper methods written for some of the new hardware they had installed the previous week.

That’s what they got for using uncertified biocomponents and unlicensed third party software bought off the seedier parts of the internet. Some incompatibility somewhere would inevitably trip them up. Gavin was usually able to see such trouble before it found them… but even he couldn’t be perfect.

He stretched and cracked his spine and wiggled his fingers before plunging into rewriting the problematic section. He would sleep like a log after this… but first, he had to sprint to the finish line.

And he did.

At 7AM, Gavin finally copied the clean code into the compiler and hit execute. After a brief reinitialisation, Nines blinked awake. He raised his hands tentatively. As soon as he realised full functionality had been restored, he sat up and threw himself at Gavin, smothering the exhausted human in a giant hug.

Gavin hugged back, fighting to keep his emotions at bay.

“All… all good?”

“You saved my life. Again.”

“I’ll do it a thousand times more if I need to.”

“I thought I was done for.”

“Don’t be dramatic. It was just some bad code.”

“I could have been stuck like that forever. Never moving, never talking. Just lying there till my charge drains out. That could have been the end for us, and frankly, I was prepared for that eventuality. You should be too.”

“Never.”

“I don’t doubt your abilities, sweetheart, but we are painfully limited by our resources. There’s things in this world that only Cyberlife can do and they’re never coming back. We have to make our peace with that. Pulling all-nighters just to keep me alive… it’s not sustainable.”

“Hey it’s not like this happens all the time, Nines. I get that this was really scary, but it’s not always like this… so please don’t tell me whether things are sustainable. I will always fight for you. End of discussion.”

Nines didn’t respond and just rested his head on Gavin’s shoulder. His steel blue eyes were fixed on the pair of birds fluttering outside their bedroom window. They sat intertwined like that on the bed for a while. Now that he could, Nines didn’t seem to want to stop holding his partner. The birds landed on the window sill, chirping away and enjoying the morning breeze.

“They’re really quite sweet, aren’t they? The two of them are always here in the morning. I should build them a little bath in our garden.”

“They’re mates.”

“Huh. Just like us.”

“You know… it’s just a myth, what they say… that birds die when their mates do.”

“What?”

“Most species will go through a grieving period, but after that they will begin courtship again.”

“What the phck are you on about? No one’s dying and no one’s beginning courtship again. Nines, I’d move heaven and earth before anything like that happens.

Besides, if I really, really couldn’t get your body to work, worst case scenario, I’d just transfer you to a mobile device. Carry you around like a voice in my head… like my conscience… I promise you that nothing can keep us apart.”

It wasn’t all that easy to convince Nines, and Gavin wasn’t about to try. It had been an ordeal for the both of them. It wasn’t the first time, and it might not be the last. But for the time being, they had emerged, and they had each other, and that was all that mattered.

Yawning, Gavin lay back among the mussed sheets and pulled Nines with him. Birdsong and the muted whir of thirium pump compressions lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

New Beginnings Chapter Two

Masterlist Summary: You move on into your new role, but little did you know that accepting the new job would be so life changing. Warnings: Implied Smut, Swearing, Fluff, Angst??, Tony Bashing, Avenger Bashing, Clark is a cheeky little shit, A/N: So here it the second part to my three part Marvel Dc crossover and Clark is in this part I hope you like it xxx Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @magdelen69​ @iloveyouyen​ @sofiebstar​ @thefangirlsblog​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @loserrlauraa​  @cheeseman​ @isitmine​ @tinabean37​

Bruce watched his phone carefully as the 'plane' glided through the air coming to a hover a good few hundred feet above the Newyork tarmac. Tony was pissed it was clear from the way he had contacted his lawyers...The very same lawyers that actually worked for a firm Bruce owned. Victor was scanning the calls and emails updating him on the situation as it unfolded. He scoffed so you had mentioned his child and other mistress? Well good on you! The man needed a kick up the ass. Tony was grasping at straws trying to get back at you, or get you back but that wasn't going to happen. You were theirs now. He leaned back a smile on his face he twisted his chair hands behind his head as he saw a late notification. A charge on his card of thirty five dollars in the restaurant he had sent you for dinner this evening. It was a treat but also a way to see if you'd back out at the last minuet. He gave a self satisfied smirk. You'd not only had the courage to leave the situation you were trapped in with out a clue as to what you were going to be doing, but you'd got a little payback aswell, it was more then he could have hoped for. "So our new member is on her way, her bags have just got to the strip and are being watched by Clark, he said she's just making her way past security now she should be there in a few moments" Alfred said sitting down as the aircraft stilled hanging high in the air over the private airstrip the low humming of the engines holding itself steady. "Good, everything is ready at the tower for her isn't it?" Bruce asked in a low voice watching out for the lights of the small cart thats would bring you out to the landing spot. Clark’s voice broke threw the com built in system halting what ever Alfred was going to say. "She's on her way, I'm off see you when you get back" Bruce gave a thanks over the radio but it was to late the kryptonian was out of range. He sighed heavy taking his finger off the button. Alfred smirked giving a small chuckle. "Irritating isn't it Bruce~" he offered up casually at the exasperated look on the mans face. "But as I was going to say yes everything is ready and clean, I even filled the fridge~" Alfred gloated making Bruce’s scoff shaking his head. "How kind of you to feed her, your generosity knows no bounds...Look here she comes now best start our descent." Alfred left to the front of the craft and started the slow vertical drop to the tarmac.

You sat in the cart, the driver didn't say much just that you'd be picked up my Mr Wayne out here, he was to drop you off and leave. You clutched your bag with shaky fingers, sweaty palms trying to cling to the faux leather. You were nervous, super nervous this was it your new start, the big leap of faith. Faith in a man you didn't know at all. You were worried this was a mistake deliberated all throughout your meal, but it was to late now. Its was trust Mr Wayne of become homeless and jobless. You'll admit it was nice to be rushed through the airport, recognised and pulled from the line at first you thought you'd done something wrong. You quickly crushed that thought when you were sped to the front and down a side hall to a small private check in...Well there wasn't much checking in more a quick check of your Id then carted straight onto the back of this small golf cart type vehicle and sped down the run way. Which was a little scary as your driver weaved in and around these huge air crafts. But after all the excitement you were unceremoniously dumped here in a far quiet corner of the air field you twiddled your fingers a little trying to calm your self down as the cart raced back down towards the terminal. It was quiet for a few moments then there was a low humm, an echoing rumble that was both eerie and awe inspiring. Then suddenly out of no where there was a large gust of warm air from above sending your hair twisting about in the air wildly. You could just see a huge black aircraft coming in to view shimmering with an opalescent sheen flickering with what you assumed was some type of cloaking barrier. You gasped watching at the wings folded upwards onto itself. It was a magnificent sight to behold, instantly all regret was washed away as you took a few steps to the side trying to take in as much of the craft as you could view. The huge craft as it twisted around directing the back almost cargo like door opening as it lowered. You were completely awe struck seeing Bruce standing holding the top of the door as it descended the last few feet and finally landed. "Y/n I'm so glad you choose to joins us!" He said walking down the ramp but you couldn't speak your eyes were glued to the matte black marvel of engineering in front of you. Bruce stood beside you looking up at it. "Shes a beaut isn't she?" He said with a chuckle. You pointed to it and faced him.

"The wings? They folded? Like how did you- surly thats not- I mean how do you maintain structural integrity when shes flying? I doubt she's slow? And what type of cloaking was that? Did it cloak the sound to? Like I didn't even hear it!" You asked the questions in quick succession excited as you tiptoed trying to drink in a much of her as you could. Bruce smiled and grabbed two of your suitcases making his way to the craft. "The cloaking? It's Atlantean" he called over his shoulder you all but squealed. "I KNEW IT!!" You jumped for joy quickly snatching your other suit cases running into the craft overwhelming Bruce with questions your curiosity had been triggered and you were now shaking with excitement at the prospect of being able to play with tech no one had ever seen before-well on the surface that it. Once inside Bruce managed to wrangling you into a seat the upper deck. You couldn't sit still far to interested in the spacious air carrier? Plane? What did you call this!? "Bertha" Bruce offered as he shuffled through some documents on the table counting page numbers of what you assumed was your contract. You frowned and went to ask but he seemed to be concentrating so decided not to ask. Alfred came out from a small automatic door with a tray carrying three cups of coffee. He was going to stay for the festivities. You thanked him as he place a small cup and sugar bowl next to you. "What Bruce meant was we call this old girl Bertha, its nice to see you again y/n" he added sipping his own drink. Suddenly Bertha's deep echoing thwums became a low hum and there was a tiny pull and it was then almost silent. "Holy shit it does!? The cloaking reduces sound even in here!?" Bruce tipped his head up and grinned nodding to you making you giddy, you knew you were right! Outside you couldn't hear a thing! He moved the stack of papers over to your side of the table between you. You gazed down seeing the familiar disclosure's and a lengthy contract below it. You swallowed time to sign your life away. "Id like for you to read through these..Most is about confidentiality...I can't stress enough that Its the most important thing in this project. It could cost us all everything it'd be catastrophic if anything was ever leaked...You'll understand more when you meet the team but...I need to trust that you will adhere to it before getting to that" you frowned as he explained this to you it was...Frightening the seriousness of his tone the look in his eyes as if lives were on the line. You nodded to him and sat back readying yourself for a long read. Bruce smiled patting your arm as he got up leaving you to look over the thorough contracts in peace. It was a good hour and a half you'd finally finished. The contract was lengthy but relatively simple...And required finger prints?...Apparently the lab you'd be working in that was constantly referred to as 'the tower' would keep records of your bio metric data for security in the form of eye scans and hand and finger prints and blood samples?. You have to disclose all history including medical and criminal. That made you pause for concern you did have a conviction for causing a social disturbance...And assault. Beating the shit out of a creep trying to force a young neighbors kid intl selling drug for him. Yeah you could probably explain that one. Apart from that it was fairly the same as anything you sighed for the Avengers. You'd get room and board for free but this time it was a 'luxurious apartment' that you were allowed to redecorate as you saw fit. Your pay was just over five hundred dollars a week which was 'non negotiable' you'd be expected to work thirty five hours a week and be on call for emergencies at any given time and always have your coms on-there was a coms system in the building so you wouldn't have to have an ear piece all the time. You'd get full access to any resources and labs and work shops and be able to pursue any projects that may be beneficial to the team. Which in all honesty sounded like a dream.And all they asked in return was that they have the only sole rights to use anything you create. But you would hold the patents. Apart from that there was seven different discretion declaration's. Each saying the same thing in a different wording making it abundantly clear that you will not ever talk about what happens in the tower to anyone. Or mention your colleagues or anyone seen within the tower itself. You had scribbled down a few questions to ask Bruce but apart from that it all seemed pretty solid. And you got some super expensive private health and dental!

"You done?" You jumped looking up at Bruce and smiled nodding as he placed a fresh coffee beside you. "I err yes its all done ..A few things though I wanted to ask before signing..If that was okay?" He smiled nodding and sat down. "I'd be more worried if you didn't have questions. Fire away" he said seemingly more then happy to ease your worries. You cleared your throat and looked to your list. "Well I err have a mark on my record...Criminal, I was charged with battery and had a fine...A drug dealer trying to get my neighbors kid to sell for him threatening him so I...Yeah he was hurt pretty bad and I got arrested..He charged me went to court and he got put away for dropping himself in it and I got a slap on the wrist." Bruce smiled they already knew that but it was a good show of character you admitting to it straight away. He nodded smiling. "Not a problem, we already know but thank you for being honest anything else?" He asked polity you looked down nodding swallowing relieved that your past wasn't really going to effect your job offer. "Err the erm this bit here... Being able to research my own projects as long as it can be useful? I just...That is vague I don't want to sign if I end up being pushed into something I'm not comfortable with...Again." he nodded he couldn't blame you for being careful especially after that shit show you were in before. He sighed leaning back arms crossed. "Our team is...An elite league of individuals who... Protect innocents... We don't want to use lethal weapons, in fact we have a very strict no tolerance policy, no guns or the like. Not a single life should be lost if we can help it. But we still need equipment thats where you come in. Sometimes create completely new gear or prefect old gear. You can work on weapons, barriers,  Armour, maneuver gear anything you want...Tracking devices the lot...All we ask is its not designed to take a life and that we are the only ones with access to it....And occasionally name it because...Well we all have our quirks" you chuckled feeling much more relaxed and crossed off the question...He'd answered a few there in his explanation. You looked down at the list. That was it apart from... "I get to have a pet, I get lonely" Bruce chuckled and nodded "Fine a pet but a small one, that can live in a cage or terrarium... And you stop calling me Mr Wayne, call me Bruce" you giggled at his terms "...Fine Bruce...What about a house rabbit?" He laughed out of the side of his mouth and held ot a hand for you to shake. "House rabbit? I'll have it added to the contract. Deal!" You smiled giggling and shook his hand. Within moments you he signed all the papers which Bruce locked into a smart silver briefcase. And called Alfred to bring her in. You frowned at him weren't you still flying. "We've be hovering above the tower just inside the atmosphere all this time, give us a few moments and we will be landing...Oh and let me be the first to welcome you to the Justice league" you froze the fucking what what?....What?! Your face must have been a sight as he laughed out loud. "What?! Wait what- you but who?-are you?...Gotham... Shut up your not the bat!?"  You stuttered as he smirked sipping his drink then shrugged throwing his hands out. "You caught me, you'll be privvy to all our identities so I had to be sure but...I think springing it on you at the tower would be a little mean" he added you blinked fast trying to catch up with your thoughts that raced a mile a minuet. You swallowed holy shit your going to be...With them? Access to the bats arsenal? Atlantean tech? kryptonian tech? Fuck you were giddy just thinking about it you tried to wipe the grin off your face but it wasn't happening all the new tech and discovery's the tinkering and playing about you could do?! It made your heart nearly burst! It was then that Bertha made the load hum once again and rocked as the suspension rocked lightly. "Want to go meet the team?" He asked standing up you took a breath following like an over excited puppy. He moved through to the back as the ramp lowered you each collected two cases and exited. You were in a huge cavernous room on polished concrete and aray of matte black vehicle's each angular in the typical 'bat man' finish looking all cool and displayed. "Nice garage~ I thought Tony's was impressive-" you said trying to fill the silence but regretted it as his name filled your chest with what felt like lead weights. Bruce eyed you slowing to walk beside you. "Tony's not worth it, despite everything he is still a selfish narcissist..You never know he may be coming to you for help one day~" he said trying to cheer you up it worked sort of, it had only been a week but the wound was still raw open...But not was raw as it should have been? I mean on the scale of things you were fuck buddies never went out, or to his place or anything..You were nothing more then a quiet fling. You came to a set of double doors that opened as you approached. Slipping through you were all smiles, it wasn’t as...Showy as Stark tower. Clean modern, contemporary with polished natural looking stone walls with little flecks of almost gem like facets that caught the light just right. It was large and overall modest...No large gaudy art pieces or blown up photos of the league. You soon can to a stop at an elevator Bruce place his hand letting it take his print and it opened he motioned you to enter. "We can go drop off your cases and put your prints into the system then you can meet everyone, They are all hanging around to meet you..Been waiting a long time" he announced snapping you out of your revere. You nodded dumbly letting him push a button, it was only when it began moving that you realized the back wall was glass overlooking the floors as you glided higher. On the way up you saw a gym and pool...Labs then a common room floor large and open...Everything seemed calm here.

Within moments Bruce had whisked you away gliding down a short hall that had one door which seemed strange you frowned as the 'glass' panel beside the door looked like oil?  A multicolour rainbow shimmering in the light with its movements..It was on closer inspection to saw it wasn't moving like waster but...Sand?super fine sand like the type or 'magic dry sand' children play with in waster. It was black and reached out in tiny inch long spindles. Making you cringe it did not look pleasant. "This is err your floor, this pad here is the lock is...It's safe I promise uses hand print scanning sort of...It will give a small finger prick to register your dna...Its like a two step verification, if for what ever reason your hand and finger prints don't work it'll let you in by repeating the finger prick" you eyed him cautiously...That thing was going to do a blood test? You moved your hand slowly to the door panel fingers trembling and twitching but froze just out of the tendrils reach. Bruce put a hand on you reassuringly. "Its safe I promise once its taken it it wont need to again well its been a few years and none of us have had to verify again, the kryptonian's were pretty clever...And after your prints are in your in everywhere..You'll have unrestricted access so its just a one off" he explained further. Your face lit up kryptonian?  Alien security inside the fabric of the building? My god you were going to love it here. You sucked in a breath planting you hand tentatively on the pad and hissed jumping as the sandlike material molded to your hand growing warm then a tiny pinprick on your index finger drawing a few drops of blood. The process took seconds and your hand was released with a slow swirl and once again the door opened showing a huge open plan apartment one whole length of it glass letting in natural light like on of those ridiculous ultra modern show homes. It took your breath away as you wheeled in your cases behind Bruce. "Now I know what your thinking but they are mirrored the other side and no one can see in...Well maybe Clark but he is to much of a gentleman to be a peeping tom~" he finished with a chuckle and turned around to face you as you made small steps into the place. You were in love, this beats the basic room with a view you did have.This could be home.you pulled yourself out of your snooping locking onto what Bruce said. "Clark?" Bruce smiled letting go of your suitcases leaving them in the open area by the kitchen and modern wood beam partition that cornered off the living room. "Supes, you'll get to call up by our given names...Any way lets get going the sooner they meet you the sooner they will stop whining in my ear...Giving me a fucking head ache-yeah alright we're coming! Jesus" you giggled and followed him out again into the elevator.

You quickly soared up into a huge room split in two halves, one a huge round table with enough seats for everyone then a tinted glass wall with the tell tale illuminations of monitors that would put nasa's ground control to shame. "This is our office? Slash mission room...I suppose you could call it? We never really get the time to sit here and discuss missions most of the time there isn't time but at least we get to use it now as a meet and greet" you tried keeping calm, you'd done this before-it was just like the Avengers don't worry they are people...Except for the alien amazonian Atlantean and a...Cyborg...yeah this was a little strange. "Everyone meet y/n new member of the team!" The was a small cheer which made you chuckle and wave nervously. They each wore their appointed suit's. You got a little starstruck to be honest this was The Justice League...A band of superheros who each shared your ideals. You swallowed dryly as wonder woman came over shaking your hand. "I'm Diana- that’s Arthur, Barry ,Victor, Clark and Barbra..It's nice to finally have you here" you shook her hand smiling.

"Finally, you make it sound like you were waiting" you huffed a laugh trying to break t through your nerves with humor.

"We were...We wanted you two years ago but...well Stark got there first but we were always going to snatch you away it was just a case of when" she replied with a kind smile nothing false or off. You smiled nodding to her "Well I assure you if I'd had known two year's ago I'd have been here instead trust me" you said as she moved of to the side letting the others come and greet you. "Yeah well you were caught by that dick wad- good call getting out" you chuckled at Arthur's frankness and moved again Barry shaking your hand "I err yeah it was a shit show there but I'm over it" you said to them all trying not to exclude anyone and be rude. Before you knew it you was eye to...Chest with Clark...Wow okay fuck how is he more intimidating then Thor? He grinned at you a charming smile. "Well we are just glad you saw sense and finally found your way home to us. We have waited a long while to have you here talent Iike yours shouldn't be disregarded you can help us save a lot of lives" you swallowed trying not to notice he was impeccably handsome he was but...That was near impossible. Oh fuck. "Ah no pressure then...Thanks for that big guy" you said sarcastically trying to battle your nerves with humor which didn't help as he laughed smiling showing off his once thought handsome now perfect features. Shit. Double shit. The last thing you needed was a fucking crush. "Don’t worry we will get you up to speed on our...Foreign technologies then you'll be off doing your own thing in no time, we wont working you into the ground" you shivered at your take on being 'worked into the ground' but smiled covering any indication you were slowly creating sordid fantasies about the man in blue...And not the cap- thank fuck though that did you a favor any rising libido gone in an instant. Whew that could of got sticky. "I'd appreciate it your...Security system all but shook me like how the hell does that even do that..." he laughed out loud twisting to the final pair you'd yet to meet then back to you shrugging a pink tint to his cheeks...Well that was new, super-buff-superhero shy. It was refreshing. "You know I'm not sure, I just find it and bring it back Bruce, Victor and Barbra do all the engineering and tech work..I do the heavy lifting" he said chuckling away rubbing the back of his neck a little embarrassed that despite it being tech from his home planet he didn't have a clue. "Yes Clark is pretty handy to have around in the labs, makes things go much smoother when he can lift things so you can fit...Our very own walking talking car jack..I'm Barbra you'll be with me and Victor most of the time we are the appointed geeks" you shook hands with a blonde woman in a wheelchair that must have been up at the screens and Victor the half Cyborg? You nodded polity. "So I'm going to be learning the ropes with you guys?" They nodded casually grinning probably happy to have someone else to 'speak geek' with, you can appreciate that. "We will teach you a thing or two..But I have no doubt you'll be ahead of us in no time I've read all your research, I was impressed. Tried to build on some when we thought we'd lost you for good but didn't get anywhere...Whats your take on the electromagnetic film shield? Did you drop it or?" Victor asked and you perked up. "Oh no I haven't dropped it..I got a little stuck on how to increase the human electrical impulses to control it without effecting the sinus node or nervous. I need a link..A pathway that can be activated at will, Its what I hoped to find at Stark tower similar to To-Mr Stark’s arch reactor?... But he said it was a pipe dream so never got that far" Victor lit up that was a viable option and tipped his head. "So implants? What sort of thing?" He asked looking genuinely interested. You sucked through your teeth and hummed. "Yeeesss...Sort of was leaning more maybe something less permanent..Something based on taser pins? you know tiny barbs that can be removed at will" you elaborated Barbra gasped face lighting up.

"OH GOD! I never thought of anything like that...That would be more convenient, you could use the own bodies impulses like a power source...A human battery!" She exclaimed the new theory excited her and the three of you suddenly found yourself exchanging ideas between you forgetting the others standing off to the side watching. "Well they seem to have....Clicked look at them go!" Barry said watching at the three of you started bouncing ideas of of one another already any nerves or tension dissipated as you Victor and Barbra began geeking out. It was clear that this was the start of an incredible collaboration.

You'd been here just over eight months and was finally happy. It was incredible how much things could change in a short space of time, life was now the best it had ever been. Your spot in the team was secure and you'd made strong friendships with everyone...You were a family, sister to the league and a mother figure to the youngsters. Always fretting over them and helping them out when need be, normally you were helping the peanut gallery; which consists of konner, Jon, Damien and Tim..Occasionally Jason if the mood strikes him avoid the wrath’s of their fathers. You even got a fucking chart going a community service type deal they fuck around then they are in the lab helping you for a few days. Girl talk with Diana was fun if not a little daunting at first but you soon relaxed with her, despite her tendency to want to kick ass for you. Arthur and Bruce were like protective older brothers checking in all the time making sure you were taking care of yourself which was sweet. Barry was that kid who you constantly had to feed and was always up for trying new recipes, you were trying to come up with healthier alternatives to his junk food... And you'd made him frozen meals each week to take home, he collected them every Tuesday. You, Victor and Barbra were three peas in a pod you were always chatting with one another during your work and pushing boundaries together each day exploring creating throwing theories around enjoying finally being understood. 

Then there was Clark. You'd been dating for five months and even though it was quiet at first it wasn't because he didn't want to be seen it was more...Only Jason had caught you making out and the little twerp had kept his mouth shut. Good job as well that had been your first kiss with the man. You and Clark had been stealing kisses and sneaking quiet dates since. It had been slow going your first assumption of him being shy was true, he was shy...At first then he became quite the little flirt. It had started after about two weeks of being here? He spent a lot of time around you getting to know you. Helping you when he could the rest of the time happy to sit around the lab passing you things making small talk. Then from there it was hanging around the common room, having coffee then he showed you around Metropolis and stuff just generally hanging out getting along. You'd offhandedly mentioned you wanted to try the gym out and get fitter but didn't have a clue how anything worked. Clark had seen the chance and grabbed it with both hands, he offered to train you. He was a slave driver in the gym not letting you quit when your arms were about to far off but the work was paying off, you were becoming toner, not buff or bulky but you felt better in yourself healthier, happier. You'd noticed that you felt different? With Tony everything had been forced? He'd never ever forced you but the feelings had been forced lathered on thick, heavy and unrelenting. You were shocked that you'd managed to move on so easily, things with Clark flowed it was smooth and relaxed nothing rushed you took pleasure in just being around one another which was a nice change of pace. You'd had your first kiss in the gym just over a month into your stay. It was sweet and then heated no pressure or desperation...But he was eager in a gentle way, romantic even though it was hot. You'd never felt it before. Tony had been your first regrettably and he was always so pushy? Not really the word he just wanted to get his fix and leave. It was a rush quick array of sucks nips then he quickly rutted into you and left with out so much as a thank you pulling his zipper up on the way out. He wasn't affectionate with you, he never took his time with you or spent much time with you it was always so callous and sarcastic you now realize it's because you were the butt of a sick joke. But Clark he was just there happy as can be kissing you. Sure he squeezed your ass but its not like you minded. The first kiss had been a surprise, you were on one of the rock walls climbing more for fun then anything he was lifting weights when he heard a whizz of unwinding rope, your harness came loose you barley fell a few feet and he'd caught you. You were in his arms before you even heard his weights slam onto the floor. It had been an overwhelming moment, until then you'd never really seen him in action he didn't take his powers lightly you'd only seen him in flight twice. The first time you'd screamed bloody murder at him for making you jump as he made the loud echoing boom as he entered the atmosphere from above you...You swear it was like a fucking bomb going off being so high up on your balcony you'd felt it in your bones.

But this time there was no sound to his movement he was just suddenly there with you in his arms catching you before anything could happen. Well his arms was a relative term, he had in his panic curled under you making you land awkwardly slumped over his chest front first one leg between his the other over his hip, chin and torso sprawled out over his chest. He moved tipping his head down panting lightly. He pulled and arm around your waist holding you securely then froze staring you in the eye. Time stopped for a few breaths as you both saw the opening, the opportunity to take things further. Surprisingly Clark took it tipping his head one hand coming to the back of yours and he pulled gently bringing your lips to his in a sweet kiss. You melted whining softly letting him moved his lips against yours in delicate movements. He pulled back and grinned cheeks tinting pink. "You should be more careful, you could get hurt" you smiled flushing his tone was something you hadn't heard from the man before. It had a dark rasp under his usual smooth voice, a growl  full of hidden promise and his eyes blown wide black devouring the blue and half lidded giving the perfect man the most beautifully delicious expression. You smiled and moved forward whispering across his lips. "I doubt you'd let that happen~" you smiled and moved again pressing your own kiss to him moving your hands to smooth down his chin the light stubble grazing your fingers. He hummed moving his hands down completely forgetting you were a good thirty feet up in the air cupping your bottom pulling you across him further making your other leg rise over his other hip effectively straddling him. He pulled tighter digging his fingertips into the cheek of your ass making you gasp as he pulled them apart slightly. You pulled away panting down at him. It was then you heard footsteps and a loud curse you snapped your gaze down seeing Jason. "Are you kidding? This isn't fair! How the fuck am I meant to compete with that!? Dad I could of beat but thats a joke bitch I'm out you win uncle Clark" he said making a stretching his arms out wide in a defeated motion. Clark laughed out loud as Jason turned tail an left with a quick 'clean up after~' you flushed  and blinked at the hunk of male you were straddling. "What was that about?" You asked not really following he rose a brow at you incredulously. "You mean you haven't noticed the boy flirting with you?" You blinked at him again and shook your head. "Well yeah but he's a kid...Thought it was cute-like in a younger siblings best friend kind of way...He was serious?" You asked him eyeing the door where Jason had left in a huff. "Yes and he just bowed out gracefully looks like I've won my prize~" Clark chuckled and tipped your head back to face him a smug smile to go with hos self assured words. You gave him your own smirk wriggling your brows and moved closer to him lips a breath away from his. "Oh really Mr Kent" you kept your voice light and teasing letting your bottom lip just graze his as you spoke. Clark hummed low the sound reverberating in his chest like a purr of a big cat you felt it in your bones. "Well your straddling my cock so I'd like to think so~" he quipped innocently hands squeezing your ass as if to make a point for a second you stuttered unsure if you heard him correctly did the super cute cheeky farm boy just say cock? you looked down and noticed he was right and panicked. "Oh god sorry!" You cried flushing when you noticed you were in fact pressed tightly to his groin, body weight centered over his cock. Quickly you failed about moving only for his hands to come up supporting your hips holding you steady with a chuckle you were so flustered you'd forgotten where you were. "No no please don't apologize I'm quite comfortable like this, can think of no better place to have you~...You best hold on tighter though you might fall~" you gaped at him this had been the first time that the sweet, polite considerate gentleman had sounded like a horny hot blooded male. And you fucking loved it! You peeked over the side of the huge chest and saw you were still quite a way's up he hadn't lowered an inch staying perfectly still. You latched onto him for dear life legs locking around his waist digging your feet into the cheek's of his perfect ass. Arms hugging his neck once secure he placed one hand across your rear the other at you back and finally moved to hover upright. the tilt made you cringe you wasn't really one for heights, you could somewhat ignore it when you were climbing with the harness but that was about it you never really strayed to far out on your balcony either sticking close to the windows and door in case it decided to fail and crack away from under your feet. "Oh my god get me down! Please please Clark I'll do anything!" You panicked suddenly feeling queasy as he moved, being upright instead of sitting on him was a very different experience and you really wanted to be set down now. You missed the quick dark playful smile on his face as your words registered. "Anything? Then you wont refuse dinner with me tonight?" He asked quickly not missing a beat. You eyed him gasping at the cheeky grin and clung tighter as he made to move his hands away from you with a chuckle finding this amusing. "No no don't do that-Hold me dammit!!- wait and are You serious?! Now! Your asking me out now?"  You panicked stuttering wondering where this new devious Clark had come from but you didn't have long to wonder as he tipped his head eyeing you mischievously biting his bottom lip trying to fight of some more chuckles. He couldn't help it you were just so cute trying to be angry when all flustered and panicked and he'd admit he really liked you clinging to him tightly. "Well no time like the present~" he added making you squint at him but smile shaking you head you couldn't help find him cute when he was like this. Like a naughty little boy all tricks and charm. He dropped a few feet with you then stopped again making you squeal and hold him tighter if possible your face now level with his at how close you held him around his neck. You looked down then back to his eyes nodding enthusiastically before crying out your answer heart ready to burst. "I FUCK !! NO I-Fucking hold me Clark!! YES- Dinner- yes yes I'll go to dinner with you just please get me down!" Your voice was high and you squeezed your eyes shut face scrunching up as you tried to hold on to the man for dear life. He huffed a laugh as you squirmed uncomfortably. "Seal it with a kiss?" You growled at him ready to yell at him for being an ass but was cut off by another kiss. He dipped his head this time devouring your mouth with merciless accuracy. He was making war with your tongue before you even realized you'd opened your mouth. You moan as he tilted down further trying to steal your breath, tracing the inside of your mouth with ease unhurried in his exploration as though he was drawing a map you grunted letting him so as he pleased falling under his intoxicating spell the man had a way with you it seemed. In a few quick movement's you were sure he could be your undoing. The kiss was more than anything you'd felt, a deeper connection then just tongues and teeth like you both just knew one another without trying tilting and suckling in a sweet yet eager embrace. You parted and blinked at him his cheeky grin greeting you eyes sparkling with glee. "There safe and sound and you thought I'd drop you~" he announced teasing you lightly it was then you realized he was standing firmly on the ground you squeaked and unhooked your legs placing your feet between his. But he didn't release your ass instead squeezing it for a few breaths then exhaled stepping away from you with a light pat on your rump making you flush. "Well I'm going to go have a shower and get ready for our date, I'll pick you up at six" he turned walking to the exit making you stutter a few words then finally you found your voice. "And I'd have gone to dinner with you anyway!! You didn't need to you know!" You yelled out to his back he laughed loud calling out 'I know' over his shoulder making you grumble. Clark was a lovable ass.? With a lovely ass. You noted watching the pert cheeks tense as he moved turning around the door frame. "I can see you staring!" he called from the hall making you blush and clench your fists turning around running to the door poking your head around it before shouting down the hall behind him. "Well you got to fucking squeeze mine so we're even!!" he laughed a loud belly laugh as he opened the door to the men's changing rooms shaking his head at you as he entered.

Since then it had been a dream Clark was everything you wanted in a boyfriend and then some. Dates were well planned and could range from cliché and romantic to adventurous and sexy and anything in-between. The relationship wasn't a secret for long perhaps five weeks maybe six? either way the League had soon found out when he'd out of the blue spun your chair round to face him stealing a deep embarrassingly hot kiss in front of them when you parted asking what that was for he just smirked and shrugged stating he just 'wanted to taste his woman' and left telling you to 'finish up soon' leaving you to stutter out an explanation to a very amused team that you were a couple. Bruce; who you suspected had known for a few weeks before, had been really amused noting that you should 'hurry up before he came back down for seconds' and to you embarrassment you did hurry up and scurry back to your apartment where he was already naked in the bedroom placing a juice bottle next your side of the bed knowing you always needed a little break to re hydrate as he demolished you mind body and soul~. As it turns out Clark had told Konner and Jon before hand and they both wasn't bothered at first trying to act all cool. It wasn't until a few weeks ago they had become excited at the prospect of maybe having their very own Ma. Well excited in a teenage sense of trying not to show they cared but in fact both just wanted you to snatch them up and give the two touch starved boy much needed affection and snuggles which you did on mothers day getting you mothers day present a little silver locket with photos of them which you wore every single day. They were so terrified about it they hadn't asked if you even wanted them you remember their faces deliberating as they handed you the box mumbling uncertain 'happy mothers day' looking at all the cards and chocolates their cousins had given you. The gift was the most precious thing and you couldn't help but cry as you hugged them kissing them both. There was anxiety and tears all around but in the end you all got the out come you wanted, whilst all the youngsters were 'yours' by default konner and Jon were your special boys, they were your sons. Your relationship was incredible your job was a dream and you had a family if that wasn't enough? there was your aforementioned sex life...Sex? My god! It was out of this world, the best sex you'd ever had Tony was said to be one of the best lays but he didn't have shit on Clark! Clark's strength and stamina meant he would always last he had once fucked you for six hour's straight....That's not a few rounds that was one! One fucking round and you'd passed out only to be woken by a mind numbing orgasm that left you a babbling incoherent puddle of wanton female desperation. All because you'd teased him about how long he could really last. Your answer days that mans cock could keep cumming for days and still not be satisfied. Safe to say you never questioned his stamina again. You were at it like rabbits you'd been caught 'with your pants down' by everyone...Everyone. But you didn't care you didn't get a chance to Clark to your was a very goal orientated lover, his goal was to leave you a complete bumbling sticky exhausted mess. He enjoyed watching you fall apart over and over until you couldn't speak let alone move. His favorite was when you tiptoed about the next day, slow steps, bow legged and sitting on cushions letting everyone see that he had all but destroyed you the previous night aftercare helped but you were pretty much fucking a god there were consequences that a good bubble bath couldn't fix. And once you were fully seated on him there was nothing that could deter him, not even konner waltzing into your apartment to steal your snacks. Clark just kept at it as your son passed the sofa you were being rawed on to get to our snack cupboard, the teen didn't even bat an eyelash!! As embarrassed as you was you couldn't deny finding Clark's complete disregard for modesty once inside you was fucking hot. Like he was in a trance so focused on fucking you into your next orgasm he didn't bother worrying about anything else. And even when you wasn't being ploughed by the man things were still great! He was sweet funny kind and you showered one another with affection something you'd never known you'd missed out on. Things were great and the others didn't seem to have any issues with it sure they poked fun sometimes as you acted like a couple of teenagers but thats to be expected. All in all life was fucking brilliant here and you couldn't wish for anything better.

You moved about the lab tweaking the...Well your not sure what it was to be honest...Clark had been shooting off into the galaxy again searching for the abandoned Kryptonian outposts and bringing you back bits and pieces anything from trinkets to tech. This time he brought back a hover krypto-bot guard thingy and thought you might be able to get it up and running to help you and Barbra around the lab. You grumbled tweaking the bot trying to get the last few pieces in place before powering it up, it worked from solar energy much like Clark. You giggled at the thought and looked over to him. And the view wasn't bad~ you twisted eyeing the fit as fuck resident Kryptonian. Today he was wearing some 'tad to small but you wasn't complaining' sweat pants and a fitted white tank top....Yum. He was standing tall one arm extended above him holding a few tonne bat mobile like it was a bed sheet. Bruce's bat mobile was getting a suspension upgrade as it could now crawl up walls with its new 'tires'. He said aiming is hard when he is being jostled about but you and Barbra knew it was just a case of him having a delicate ass and wants a smoother ride~ You gasped as the bot rose hovering above the floor you'd done it? You'd got it working? Fixed a fucking alien robot! Fuck yes go you! you hummed watching as it rose to hover a foot and a half sides opening and closing looking like it was flexing, stretching after a long nap..In a way it looked cute. "Any luck-whoa babe step back a bit" You looked up seeing Clark peer over his shoulder at you eyeing the bot that was hovering in front of you calmly you stepped back Clark had told you what one of these had done to Lois when they met. He motioned for Barbra to back up and put the bat mobile down onto the ground eyeing the bot waiting to see if it attacks. It did Clark was caught off guard as the bot bypassed you instead completely ignoring you turning completely around and gunning for Barbra. It took seconds but soon the bot was ripped in two on the floor. You didn't mind hard work or no that thing had gone for Barbra. "Fucking hell!? Barb you okay?!" You called out jogging the few steps to the shaken woman. she nodded smiling thanking Clark assuring you she was fine. You sighed and placed your hands on your hips huffing seeing the pieces scattered all over. You wasn't mad you just don't like cleaning up oil spills. "Why did it only attack me?...Like y/n was right in front of it and the thing didn't even flinch" she asked Clark you frowned and pondered that yourself from what Clark said it should had attacked the first human it saw is it was going to attack. You furrowed your brows deeper and turned to Clark who was looking between the two of you baffled uming and ahing. "Yeah I'm wondering that to didn't it attack Lois on sight?" Clark nodded which made you turn to Barbra trying to figure it out. "Yes so shouldn't it have gone for the closest human? like if it was gonna turn it should have been you? Weird" you both looked to the now dead robot frowning that didn't make sense and you didn't like things not making sense. "maybe...It sensed my dna inside you?" Clark offered with a slight wave of his hand grasping at straws you frowned completely lost..Dna you wasn't pregnant or anything so that didn't make sense. "Inside y/n?- Wait ew no tmi thank you very much!" Barbra called wheeling herself off to the side giving both you and Clark a wide birth as she made for the exit. you stood there stumped as she did so Clark had a cheeky grin on his face but you really didn't follow. "wait what dna? Clark?" he shrugged cheeks tinting pink and motioned to you in a vague show of hands motioning to you making you even more confused. "Well this morning..I did kinda you know flood your pu-" you cut him off when you realized just what he was getting at. A very satisfying morning romp. "OH! Right well that would be it thank you Clark you can stop now" you spoke quickly in a high pitch trying to shut him up asap as Barbra laughed from the other side of the lab running a diagnostics on the bat mobile for the new parts shes added. you flushed and Clark grinned he loved everyone knowing you were his a typical alpha male pea-cocking, flaunting his prize. you smiled a small impish grin and turned moving to collect the robot. Clark beat you to it and helped move it to one of the work benches. "..Well then, I'm going to...Take him apart and see if I can locate and remove that scanning unit, if it can scan and match dna then I might be able to incorporate it into the security system...No more finger pricks?" you inquired Barbra turned from the screen she was working on "Shit that would be good the systems been buggy with konner and Jon recently I think they are getting sick of spilling blood for their snacks" you smiled to her nodding those were your thoughts exactly you thought the system might be tripping with the half human aspect of them but..If that bot did in fact see Clark's... Residue then it should work for Konner and Jon. "exactly no one likes to many finger pricks" you called out happily Barbra nodded then you both deadpanned as Clark spoke up in a scoff. "Well maybe not you love~" you scowled at him but it lost its bite as you flushed a bright red as he winked quickly sucking in his bottom lip eyes flashing mischievously at you. You just shook your head knowing better then to argue with him in this mood. When Clark got like this and you argued you ended up wishing you'd just kept your mouth shut he was a teasing little shit. "What? like you complain about my fingers babe~" you shook your head biting your lip when really you wanted to cuss him out and throw something at him for embarrassing you. Throwing things was a waste of energy he dodged or caught them. "Okay right I'm going on a lunch break if you two fuck don't break anything!" Barbra called deciding to excuse herself knowing this was going to be a playful spat that'd end up with you bent over something. just as she got to the door it opened the rest of the team filing in not looking to happy. Bruce broke the silence. "We need to talk"

You looked up to Bruce unsure of your next move. this was just bad luck. really bad luck. You eyed everyone this was ultimately being left up to you. You knew them most and honestly you wasn't sure. your gut was telling you to let them come, to help them out. but in your mind you wanted to fuck them off and tell them to do one. by now you'd opened up to them about your time there apparently their surveillance only saw so much. It didn't see the biting words or laughter which at the time you thought was banter but it wasn't. you'd spent some time reflecting and you realized you was being laughed at not with. "Do you know what it could be?" you asked Bruce who had taken the call he shook his head. "Nope.. Apparently a peter quil brought it in for them...Kryptonians were apparently thousands of years in front of everyone with tech, they know its kryptonian but are not sure if it holds a weapon or not they want to collaborate after all we do have Clark" you nodded heaving a deep sigh Clark placed his arm around you hand on your hip squeezing lightly bringing you to him.

"You don't have to we can say no-" you shook your head interupting him "No..No we cant Tony has wanted kryptonian tech since you popped up, he will find away to crack it... he will bust it open it he has to." you said thinking far to hard trying to calm yourself ideally you didn't want to see any of them again but this could be serious. if it was a weapon you didn't trust them. and if it had kryptonite? you really really didn't trust them hell the only person you trusted with that stuff was Bruce...Even then you didn't really like it being on this planet. "Y/n I can find a way to sneak in and steal it- we could get it and no one would know-" you turned to Barry and gave him a smile. "No..No thats very sweet of you but they would know where to look, they would storm this place looking for it we don't need a civil war between two superhero teams...You'd die, you wont kill them but the avengers don't piss about they would kill you...Tony will do anything to figure out what's inside it... "I would rather it be here where we have at least some understanding of the kryptonian systems...That and if it has kryptonite we can store it away safely, let them come I will be civil and work with them but I'm not going to be pally pally with any of them, and do not let Tony or Bruce or peter be in any labs alone, Barbra can we section of the lower lab for what ever they have? I'm not having them looking at our work fuck them-Victor watch your back Tony will try to charm you into letting him scan you if he does riddle Friday with the worst worms and Trojans you can oh god wait no do a malware to or adware!-fuck him" Victor nodded laughing to you seeing the claws come out Barbra whistled with Barry who both asked if adware was a little harsh receiving a glare from you which shut them up pretty quick, you smoothed back your hair stressed about it already

"Arthur, Clark the same goes for you they will try to butter you up and-" you were cut off with a laugh from the ocean master.

"Don't you worry I'm not going to be falling for any of the douchbags tricks you just keep yourself sorted okay? we can watch them you just do your thing" He said Diana nodded it seemed everyone was in agreement they will watch them and you just focus on the task at hand. "Okay how about we can have everyone staying here so we have more eyes, I'm sure the boys wont mind a week off school" you nodded to him knowing that Bruce was going to try and make this easier. "That would be helpful Bruce thank you...Avengers stay in the lower levels and they don't get access to our floors or our labs, none of them get entered into the security system...They stay in the dorm rooms and they share a bathroom!" you exclaimed laying out your terms Arthur chuckled crossing his arms grinning at you shifting on his feet.

"Seems like someones getting a little pay back~" he said tipping his head raising a brow the others chuckled making you flush a little for getting so wound up but you tipped you head high and scoffed.

"Damn right they're coming to my house now bitch-fucking give them a taste of their own medicine" it was agreed the Avengers were aloud to come and stay you felt a little better after they all reassured you on the protocols they had in place it would seem Bruce had been anticipating this for a long time. suddenly the bat of Gotham cracked a smile chuckling making everyone pause waiting to hear what he found so funny he shook his head waving at them.

"It's just...I told you one day Tony would be here asking for your help, imagine his face when he sees what your achieving here...And he had you at a fucking desk!" everyone laughed seeing the irony you smiled giggling a little tucking yourself into Clark's side unconsciously looking for a little comfort you were anxious about seeing Tony again. he held you closer kissing your head knowing you were dreading this you'd rather not see him again.

"You'll be fine, you have all of us and the kids and I doubt Konner and Jon will let him near you...Could you imagine?" you huffed a small laugh but it was empty you were worried you could imagine...You'd seen what the avengers could do and you worried about your boys no doubt they wouldn't die but if they did come to blows...Your boys could get hurt.

"And if he brings his suit?" you asked in a small voice Clark wrapped his arms around you pulling you into his chest turning slightly so you had some form of privacy away from the others, he knew you didn't like being seen crying and it sounded like you were close. "You think he'd stand a chance? He does anything and he will be answering you me that suit wont help him I assure you..Trust me I'll protect you... We will protect you" you nodded but couldn't help the dark pit on your stomach...You didn't want any fights you only wanted to have them here in case what ever they found was a weapon...or Kryptonite either in Tony's hands would be used at some point. You closed your eyes as Clark smoothed your hair nodding to the others that he had this handled.

[thecleverdame]

Control and Release - 30

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: After the rest of the staff is caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester. As the arrangement becomes more defined, you and Sam begin a sexual adventure with dangerous consequences.  

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, nipple clamps, dub-con, breath play.

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Words:3.1k

Parts 1-36 are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories, including the ABO series Gods of Twilight and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

You blink once..twice...and then your cloudy vision clears and Sam comes into view, hovering above you.

“Welcome back,” he offers, giving your hand a squeeze.

“I passed out, huh?” You try to sit up but your body isn’t ready quite yet.

“Yes. There are usually more warning signs. You went down fast.”

“I hate this.” You close your eyes, a pounding headache whirling to life in the back of your head. “It’s so fucking scary. Every time I’m sure I’m not going to wake up.”

“But you did wake up and I was here with you the whole time,” he explains calmly.

“How long was I out?” You feel around, realizing he’s moved you from the couch to the bed. You’re stark naked and tucked under the sheet.

“Ten minutes, you started to come around once but slipped back under.”

“I’m so sick of this.”

“Maybe this one was my fault. I shouldn’t have put you through all this, not tonight. I know you’re dealing with a lot-”

“It wasn’t the sex.” You shake your head. “I liked that. It’s something else. I know it, I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well, you need to call your therapist in the morning.” Sam studies you quietly for a moment. “You should be getting better and these incidents are happening faster every time.”

“But fewer and far between.”

“It’s not good enough. If she can’t help you, I’ll find someone who can.”

Rolling onto your side you look at him sitting naked on top of the bedspread. He’s your favorite version of Sam when he’s like this, stripped down to nothing and he’s still so fucking confident in everything he does it makes you wet just to think about it.

“I think I just need time, Sam. It hasn’t been that long, I’ll call her.” You glance at the clock, it’s almost midnight but thankfully tomorrow is Saturday, a well-deserved day off. “Are you working tomorrow?”

“No.” Sam gets up to grab a bottle of water from the minifridge and brings it back to you. “Drink. I had hoped we could go out and see the city. If that’s something you’re interested in and you feel up to it.”

“I would love that,” you smile, wincing as the throbbing intensifies. “I think. As long as my head stops banging.”

Saturday Morning

“You sure you feel okay?”

“Good as new…what is this?” You look at the boxes spread out over the table. There’s so many they’ve overflowed onto the couch, garment bags carefully laid out so as not to wrinkle whatever’s inside. None of this was here when you stepped into the shower and now it’s as if the room exploded. Like he snapped his fingers and a couture fairy appeared.

“Clothing. I ordered you a few things.” He’s toweling his hair dry in the corner as you stand there, hair dripping onto the carpet.

“This is more than a few things.” You tiptoe around the packages, wary of the designer names. One of these boxes is equivalent to your monthly rent, some five times that. You can tell just by the labels.  

“It’s not all clothing. There are a few pairs of shoes, handbags, hats. Anything you might want.”

“Why?” you ask, glancing at your ratty sweatpants hanging from the back of a chair. “Do you not like the way I dress?”

He looks up, thinking about his response before speaking.

“The way you dress is fine.”

“But…” you continue.

“But you’re a beautiful woman and your clothing is...not on par with the rest of you. I thought you might enjoy some new things.”

You can’t help but feel indignant and flattered at the same time.

“So, you don’t like the way I dress.”

His jaw ticks, already losing patience with the conversation.

“No, I don’t.” He pads to the closet pulling a shirt off a hanger. “You can pick out the things you like and I’ll have the rest returned. If you’re upset with me, it can all go back.”

“I didn’t say I was upset with you,” you counter, peeking inside one of the bags. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

The truth is you’ve got one look: business wear. In your downtime, you live in jeans and a T-shirt. It’s not that you don’t have an interest in looking more put together, but your salary has never allowed indulgences. Any nice items you own came from second-hand shops. You’re aware the two of you look like a mismatched pair. The thought makes you blush, embarrassed that you’re not living up to his idea of what you should be.

“You liked the suit I bought you.” He shrugs.

“Yes, I love the suit. But it’s worth more than my car. I’m not used to being gifted these kinds of...luxury goods.” You watch as he buttons up his shirt. Even on a day off he’s dressed like he’s got somewhere to be. If you didn’t know him, you’d still know he was someone. He looks important.

“You deserve to look like your worth.” He opens up a small box and pulls out a pair of heels that make your heart flutter.

“How much am I worth?” you ask.

“Oh,” he grins as you slink closer, cozying up to him. “I couldn’t put a price on you.”

“Thank you.” You kiss him softly, watching his eyes fall shut.

After picking out an outfit comprised entirely of Sam’s selections you do feel like a million dollars. You walk a little taller, laugh a bit louder and for the first time you get a true taste of what a life with his resources would feel like. You spend the day eating, shopping, and sightseeing until your feet feel like they’re going to fall off.

Sunday Morning

That morning Sam gets between your legs before the sun comes up. You awake to the feeling of his tongue on your clit. He manages to coax out your first orgasm before you’re fully coherent, leaving you swimming in pleasure as he slides his cock inside.

By the time you roll out of bed you’re ravenous and order half the room service menu. You’re elbow deep in banana pancakes when there’s a knock at the door. Sam answers to an agitated Pepper who slips inside.

“There’s something you need to see.” Pepper glances at you mid-bite, just as you’re shoving an obscene forkful of pancakes into your mouth. She rolls her eyes as you snap your lips shut, watching as she hands an iPad to Sam.

His eyes flit over the screen, glancing up at you for split second.

“What is it?” you garble, chewing as fast as you can.

“This surprises me,” Sam looks at Pepper. “I underestimated the interest in my personal life.”

“It’s different over here, the tabloids look for anything. You’re rich and known for being a bachelor. It’s newsworthy.”

“What is it?” you ask again, standing up and pulling your robe closed across your chest.

Sam wordlessly hands you the iPad as you read the headline scrawled across today’s digital edition of the Daily Mirror:

Love in London? American millionaire Sam Winchester spotted out and about with mystery woman.

It’s accompanied by several photos of you and Sam walking hand in hand, stopping to peer into shops. These photos are from the end of the day. The only saving grace was the whipping wind. You had shoved your hair under the hat he insisted you take along. It kept your locks in check and did an adequate job hiding your face from the photographer.

In the last photo, Sam has his arm around your waist, looking down at you with a sly grin, a moment away from a kiss. There is no denying the nature of your interaction.

“Shit.” You sit back down on the couch, staring at the screen.

“No one knows it’s you,” Sam assures, his tone unreadable as always.

“What?” You look up. “This doesn’t bother you?”

“No, not really.” He shrugs.

“These were private moments.” There’s anger rising and you’re struggling to verbalize exactly why this is so upsetting.

“No one will know that-”

“Oh, I don’t care about that!” you cut him off. “I mean, we’ve gotten ourselves into a place now where people are going to find out eventually, it’s going to be awkward but I’m not worried about it. But someone followed us, Sam. Took photos of us and we didn’t even know it. That’s what scares me. The idea that there are people interested enough in your life to follow you around is...unsettling.”

Pepper is hovering in the background, watching and listening. She’s been privy to the two of you together, but this is by far the most intimate moment she’s witnessed between Sam and, well, anyone.

He’s silent, taking a seat in the chair across from you, tilting his head to the side as if he’s reading your thoughts.

“You knew from the very beginning that this was a possibility. I’ve been boring. I’ve never gotten into trouble, I don’t make a spectacle of myself. But this is..something. People are interested in my life because I have money and they’ll be more interested now that I have you.”

“Is this going to become a regular thing?” you ask, trying to sort through all the possibilities. “I mean, are there going to be people hiding in the bushes when we go to dinner? Will it happen when we go home?”

“I don’t know, but it’s probable.” He shrugs, seemingly unaffected, which only serves to exacerbate how invasive you find the whole thing.

“I don’t know how I feel about this.”

“We should think about making a statement. The longer you stay a “mystery woman” the more interest we’re going to garner. If we get ahead of it, it’s not a thing. We’re in control.”

“No,” you shake your head vehemently. “I will not be bullied into going public. How is that being in control?”

“You really don’t want anyone to know about us, do you?” The words fall out just as even as everything else, his eyes narrowing. He sits back, one leg crossing over the other as his jaw ticks to the side. Sam doesn’t have many tells but this one of them. He’s profoundly bothered by your response.

“That’s not what this is,” you counter, feeling instantly defensive.

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m a spoiled brat. Like you’re the only one with a brain.”

He stares at you, nostrils flaring, fingers curling into the armrest of the chair and then he looks up.

“Pepper, would you give us the room please.”

You completely forgot she was there.

“Of course,” she whispers, scurrying out the door and closing it behind her.

“There, we’re alone now. You can tell me how you really feel.”

“I wasn’t going to let her stop me,” you hiss. “I hate it when you use that condescending voice. You know that bothers me. And you did it in front of her.”

“I’m trying to remain rational and calm. But it seems as if I’ve hit a nerve. While we're on the subject, why don’t you tell me why the idea of you and I being out in the open bothers you so much?”

“It doesn’t,” you snap.

“That’s a lie.” He points at you, thrusting a finger forward. “You’ve been fighting the very idea since we evolved. So tell me, what is that you have to hide?”

“I’m not hiding anything.”

“You sure? I get the distinct feeling you’re keeping things from me. A dirty little secret waiting to rise from the ashes.” He’s provoking you now, pushing further than he should and he knows it, but he can’t help himself. “What is it? Some guy you fucked in high school have a polaroid of your pussy?”

“Fuck off!” you yell, pounding your fist on the table. He’s the worst to fight with, he goes from zero to nasty in the blink of an eye. “It’s you, Sam, you are my dirty secret.”

He just stares at you, taken aback by the statement as you fume.

“It’s so complicated, I’m so fucked up I don’t even know where to start.” You kick at the leg of the table in frustration. “I know it’s crazy but I’ve convinced myself that someone is going to know just by looking, all the things I let you do to me. The dirty, nasty things I beg for. And you keep telling people about us without asking me. All I can think is that Toni is in the middle of a meeting picturing me on my knees with a dildo in my ass. Or one of those people from Nick’s party is going to show up and they really know what we’re all about. That stuff is ours, Sam. It’s private and personal and I love how you make me feel but I need that part of our life to stay between us.”

“I already told you, I’ve never told anyone about our dynamic.” His face is hard, emotional armor beginning to build.

“That's not even the half of it.” You sit back, putting your knees up to your chest. “I think about Dean all the time. Every time I’m alone I picture him rounding a corner or showing up at the office. I dream about him. To you, it’s no big deal, but for me, he’s this ever-present threat hovering in the background. You know when the shooting happened, when I first heard the shots, I thought it was Dean, or your dad? And now there are people following us, taking pictures and we had no idea. It would be so easy for your brother to do the same thing. The more we put ourselves out there, the more information they have. You say that there’s nothing to worry about, but I don’t think that’s true. I see first hand every day the damage they did to you.”

You pause to see if he has anything to say, but he just blinks at you.

“And I am nervous about everyone I work with finding out. People will assume I’m fucking you for your money, or for my job. Not that I even care that much about that part of it, that’s the least worrisome part of all this. And, since you brought it up I’m sure there are some pictures of my tits floating around out there. I wasn’t a saint before I met you. I’m a good person but I’ve done some questionable things and being with you means someone will go digging for them. So now I’ve got that anxiety to add to the mix.”

“All of that shit I can get over. It’s not easy by any means but you’re worth it to me. But you really want to know why I’m so gunshy about people finding out about us? I’m afraid you’re going to leave again. You’ll wake up one day, decide you’re bored with me and that will be it. The way you ended things before was devastating and it would be a thousand times worse now. I couldn’t bear losing you and have everyone know about it. I don’t think I could stand that.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you.” He counters, looking genuinely troubled.

“You already did it to me. It was fucking brutal. We didn’t talk, it was just over. You cut me out of your life like I was nothing to you. You were cruel and it took a fucking lunatic pointing a gun at my head to bring you back. You scare me, Sam. And I scare myself because I’m so in love with you.”

He opens his mouth to speak, then stops, rubbing a palm up and down his thigh. His eyes flutter closed for a lingering moment and you can practically see him evaluating and categorizing his thoughts.

“I-” he starts to speak, his voice catching and he clears his throat. “I had no idea you felt this kind of intensity about our situation.”

“Not all the time,” you whisper looking at your knuckles. “I’ve gotten used to this safe little bubble and I’m terrified if we change things, maybe you won’t want this anymore.”

“My feelings for you won’t change.” He sighs, looking up at the ceiling like it’s physically painful for him to expose these kinds of emotions. “I admit I’ve had the same thought, that you will eventually realize that I’m a terrible person and you’ll walk away from me. I’m sorry for what I did to you. I would take it back if I could, but I can’t. All I can do is move forward and show you that I’m committed.”

“I know.” You take a breath, waiting as he gears up for something else.

“As far as Dean goes, maybe he’s not as harmless as I make him out to be. You’re right to be concerned. I’ll figure out how to put more security measures in place. The last thing I want is you to feel unsafe.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

“I can’t control what people think of you. I can only tell you that in my experience people assume the worst and enjoy tearing each other down. That is going to happen. There will be some terrible things said and written about you.”

“I don’t need you to control that. I only need you to acknowledge that it’s not going to be easy for me.”

“I understand.” He nods, his eyes never leaving you. “I do love you. I need to say it more.”

“I love you too.” You offer a tired smile, already emotionally exhausted before the day has even begun. “We can’t keep this a secret and I think it would be better for us if we were open.”

“I agree.” He gets up from the chair, sinking down on the couch next to you. “People will start digging. Looking for anything that could be twisted into a scandal. But I have someone who can help. Make sure we know what's out there, look into your past and get things cleaned up.”

“That would be great.” You take his hands, laying your head on his shoulder. “For the record, I’m not going anywhere.”

He gives a stiff smile, still in his head.

“Neither am I.”

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Spoilers!!!! Charmed 02x04

Okay yall. I love this episode, but this one is actually my least favorite so far. I have a couple of, not concerns, but more than nitpicks, about some things this episode. Overall I'd still give it a 7/10. It was paced well and the added lore was top notch so far and cant wait for more. Anyways, again I will start with things I liked, then move on to the things I didnt, and end with some highlights.

Likes:

1. Mel! Overall Mel is a champ and even though she had big romance storylines, and they developed her character in small ways throughout the first season, I still felt we need more Mel. This episode not only did a good job if staying true to the mel that was built in season 1 but adding onto her. Mel seems to detest the idea of uselessness or at least of being powerless. Which makes sense not only as a minority and a woman but as a lesbian. She grew up not having to hide and with a mother who basically told them they were powerful strong and could do anything. Which is wonderful, but breeds that room for those types of insecurities.

2. Hacy

So actually not that much big hacy moments in comparison to previous episoded, but I love how they are the two interrogating abby and the moment they shared with the safe word.

That said I also didn't like the need for one when Macy said she would just know. Although I argue that the fact she even asked for the safe word was because she knew. Because she tells her sisters to go, trusting him, before she looks onto his eyes. Then when he leans in to touch her and orb them out, either she is put off by the over enthused smirk (he was too happy for the situation) or she wanted to get a look into his eyes. Because if you look at her facial expressions as she is looking into her eyes she seems to doubt that he is Harry and then asks for the safe word before he orbs them out.

I also think they missed a hacy opportunity when he warns Macy to be careful

Harry: she's half demon

Macy: so am I

Harry: but you are you

I'll explain further in the disliked section

4. Maggie and Jordan. Okay so I really like these two together. Hold up though. I like it as a slow developing relationship. Jordan is in a different life stage than Maggie imo. If he were single and went after her immediately or they started a romance I wouldnt like that. Him having someone and Maggie growing up and them building a solid friendship first is what I am here for. I'll talk about her powers later. What I was curious about was the ring on Jordand finger since the camera focus for a bit on his hand when he mentioned his family. I hope he doesnt come from a line of witch hunters or turns out to be some sort of creature later on. I mean on one hand that would be cool and a twist, especially if he remains the same (like doesnt change into a villian just turns out has some history) because I feel like it would be a way of doing the Galvin family history right. I mean I think that is what I enjoyed about Galvins storyline, him being able to help out because of his family history. But they didnt do much with it given the limited screen time. So if they could do something similar with Jordan and give it appropiate attention I would love it. But if they tried to use it for drama I wouldnt because it would be too much like parkerita. Let maggie grow up and have a healthy mature relationship without deception and scary families involved!

5. Dark!Harry as a Darklighter and a Hunter

So I mean we still don't know exactly what darklighters are. I mean we know that they are part of the whitelighter (one person split in half) but we dont know if the elders trained them for a specific purpose. I mean Darry got fighting skills and some resourcefulness. For to come from no where, but the fact he is after powerful beings (so far we dont know exactly why) and he has a connection with Harry is really interesting and has so many possibilities moving forward and I especially love the further similarities is draws to Macy.

Harry (unlike macy) has been split in two he has lived with this unknown part of him that differs from everything he was taught and believed about himself. Like macy this side of him appears to be "evil", although I have a feeling is probably more complicated than that since it obviously is for Macy. So harry has this "dark side". Which will be interesting if they ever have to or can merge the two.

Right now it appears that Darry has nothing to do with the Demon wars (unless you believe he and abby are working together).

Now onto dislikes:

1. Abby. Hold up y'all! I actually love this villainess. I just have some concerns about her background. And also have some thoughts about her possible future role.

So I love that she wants to bring down the patriarchy of the demon world. Her being Caine seems unnecessary, and brings up some questions.

Why didn't Parker ever mention her? He mentioned Hunter. She knew about him. So it would seem a fair assumption that Parker knew about her.

I don't mind adding lore to the previous seasons as long as they make sense. So far what they have added doesn't negate what was established last season (season 1 contradicted itself a couple of times), but with Abby as a Caine they will have to make double sure they don't add anything that would contradict season 1.

Abby as bisexual. Like I love when shows give some bisexual representation! But I am always weary when bisexuals are the villians and they are the only bisexual characters in the show. I am not bisexual, so I can't really say whether the show is doing this well or not well. It is just something I try to be considerate of and so when it happens I am always a bit nervous about it.

2. The Vera-Vaugh sisterhood (mostly on Macy's part). Okay so I am treading lightly on this topic and also would like to point out that I am coming at this from my Latina perspective. But I feel that Macy sees her place and he relationship with her sisters from the "Good Mexican" perspective. Meaning she does crave that connection to her sisters but also views herself as the other. More so she view her sisters as thinking over her as "the good half demon" and for Macy that isnt enough. It still feels like a rejection of part of her. Which in some cases is, but I think for her sisters it isnt that way at all. They dont view her as "a good half-demon" they see her as Macy and as thier sister. But I feel that since Macy, given how she grew up and the insecurities we know she has from season 1, isnt getting the memo. She now knows that her sisters actually love her and will stick with her, but she no longer is craving acceptance, she wants understanding and commonality. Which for her, her sisters cannot give her not just because they are different but because they view the situation differently.

Abby is playing to that so well. I was upset that Macy would reveal the way she got her demon side. It seems not only like a bad move as far as trusting someone you claim not to trust but also just common sense given that I would thing you wouldnt want other demons knowing how to create more demons from humans. Anyways, abby's line of having more in common with each other was pretty brilliant given the little amount of time she has spent with any of them.

I think it is possible, from the patriarchy conversation, that Abby eventually would try to recruit Macy to join her in trying to take over the demon world. That said I am not sure so far if Abby would actually like to share power with anyone. We still dont know much about her character. So her development moving forward will be interesting.

Moving back to the sisters. I think if moving forward the show would do little things to address the issue it would help not only to further build the relationship between the sisters but the power of 4. Things like the line I added between Macy and Harry would show Macy that they are seeming the situation differently. It wont allieviate What Macy is feeling or the fact she still has to figure out what exactly it means to be a half demon or if it does have meaning out side the societal implications.

3. Whitelighter lore. Don't come for me! I love the added lore. I just have some nitpicks.

Alpha. So if the first whitelighter was from Salem then how is there and Egyptian hieroglyph for a whitelighter? Unless the elders just to a hieroglyph and decided to make that one the one for whitelighter? ("Hey what's that" other elder: "I combined two hieroglyph want to use that for our new whitelighters?" First elder: hell yah!)

Okay so if these two are one person made into two and are connected. Then how connected are they? I mean I assume we will get more detail as the show progresses so I am not made about it, but the alpha is always kept near the split part. So in the beginning was it that they couldnt be too far apart or else something bad would happen? Or is it that what happens to one happens to the other. Dark!Harry tried to kill Harry so we could assume that that isnt the case because it would be a death sentence for both (unless dark!harry didnt know and just lucked out be the fact that Harry and him are now immortal because Harry's tie to the elders was severed). Lots of questions regarding what exactly dark!harry knows or doesnt know.

4. Maggie's powers. Dont get me wrong, I love the foresight and its relation to premonitions and Marisol, but it is gonna need some careful explaining. They established that witches are traced through these powers and that the sisters were stripped of them. So then what is this foresight? It cant be a part of her old powers because those were stripped. But if this is a new power can it be used to track the sisters? Or is it something else? A power but unrelated to the powers and triggered by an outside agent (not necessarily a person). Will Mel start to develop new powers as well or again is there something going on with Maggie?

Highlights:

Mel chugging like a champ!

Maggie's constant touching of Jordan when trying to trigger her new powers. Not awkward at all Mags...

The satisfied look on Darry's face when he is about to orb Macy and him out (I still cant believe the girls werent suspicious of how Harry found orbed to them when none of them called for him)

(I was gonna give credit to the gif maker and had written down who it was but lost the paper and cant remember which of the people I saved this from. So if this is your gif let me know! So I can edit and give yah the credit you deserve! Sorry about that! If I find the paper before yah recognize the gif I will edit)

Abby's recount of being attacked by Darry. I was enjoying the steaminess.

Anyways that's all on my part! Comment, send asks or message me, if y'all want to discuss something I mentioned or didnt mention about this episode or the series in general! Not looking forward the the inevitable break that will occur but cant wait for episodes 5 and 6!

[swedeandsour]

Jonna Lee on Demystifying the Aura of Her Viral Fame; Finding Her Voice and Her Die-Hard Fanbase

In her videos Jonna Lee (ionnalee/iamamiwhoami), carries an imposing presence. Her talons drawn over the bloodied shriek of her piercing falsettos, Lee certainly echoes the sentiment of a mythical being where cryptic words of love and hope beckon wondrous melodies through striking iconoclasm. In reality, what we see with Jonna Lee the performer is quite different. Though her intensity apparent in the palpitations of her rave-driven melodies; analogous to what someone might see in the industrial nightlife of Central and Eastern Europe, ionnalee's stage presence carries a certain tenderness to it. A tireless worker for her often die-hard audiences, Lee's performances are vibrant and energetic. There in her live show, vigorous dance routines sandwich between the illuminating wings of "Chasing Lights" and we even see a Russian floating-step that sees her levitate off the ground on during her performance of "y". With her vocals honeyed and mellow despite their resonant carry, the smoke and mirrors of Lee's live element showcase Jonna in a different light. It’s a real joy of performance that we see with Jonna, one that shines a light on her oh-so-human vulnerability that we often forget when she’s draped in faux-fur and suited-up in character.

Speaking to Jonna before her show in Toronto in her co-headlining show with TR/ST, we tried to demystify the mythology behind Lee’s eccentric presence. Kind and soft-spoken, the fearless performer seemed somewhat reserved and humbled by the whole concept of even stepping out on a world tour. There speaking about influences and finding her artistic voice and without dredging into drawn-out cliché, Jonna made sure to highlight one very important aspect. Throughout the viral madness of her initial few videos and now a world tour, none of it would have been possible without the undying support of her fans.  

Words + Photo: Peter Quincy Ng

Part of the interview has been edited for clarity

We’ve been slowly demystifying Jonna Lee. What’s it like being on tour so far and meeting your fans through your newly found infamy?

First of all, it’s amazing to fathom all of that; very surreal. It is kind of like you are in a little bubble working alone a lot, or with me and (producer) Claes (Björklund). We don’t have much connection with the music industry or just networks, so coming out seeing this many people and listening; seeing their response, it’s quite new to me. At this (crowd) size especially, it’s overwhelming but positive stuff obviously. It just takes a while just to process everything.

Tell me about your beginnings form Jonna Lee to iamamiwhoami to ionnalee again, and on how you found your artistic voice. You transitioned from largely acoustic singer-songwriter prose with sweet and mellow melodies to a more aggressively electronic and experimental style - striking and shrill.

I didn’t know I had in me, but in the beginning Claes believed in me a lot. In the beginning I tried to find my voice and sound more like this person or that person. I’ve been trying to sound British at first, because I had spent so much time in London in my earlier teens. At first I had also been afraid to do things out of the box as we recorded; because me and Claes, it’s the same team you know? We both kind of made our transition.

I remember at first, I was like, “No we need to strip back, no compressors”. I just wanted everything to be super natural and organic, and then when everything came out I was really dissatisfied and felt like I was invisible. We started playing around started to scrap everything. I mean we couldn’t because it was already out, but you know mentally start over. Then we did you know? No rules, let’s just do this.

Now I find we’re back again at it and I needed to connected to my personal point of view, because I’ve grown a lot musically as well. I’m also a better producer than I was ten years ago, so I wanted to see where I was ten years after this project. I don’t know if I am going continue as iam(amiwhoami) right now, but we’ll see. It’s a scary thing as well.

When you first started iamamiwhoami, there was a lot of mystery behind your origins and the mythologies of your persona. Were you worried about how you would be perceived or did you think you have convinced people you were Lady Gaga?

Uh no (laughs), I was not but I was hoping to maintain my anonymity because we were a group. I figured if they figured out our identity, then they’d judge the book and my previous work and everything. At the point of exposure (of my identity) though, we were all really disappointed but then again we never really tried to hide anything. We just took advantage that no one in Sweden really cared about iam(amiwhoami), so we were able to continue for quite a long time. When the whole thing happened though, it was just kind of surreal, you know (being mistaken for) Christina Aguilera, you can really plan that stuff ahead (laughs). I don’t think that sort of viral is happening anymore because everything has changed so much.

iamamiwhoami acquired viral fame, and one of the jokes on YouTube is that 90% of your views amounted from someone typing in one of the letters from b-o-u-n-t-y and the other 10% of fans are of the “COME TO BRAZIL!” trope. Was the concept of viral fame difficult to digest at first? Was there any pressure to keep the viral craze running?

Oh, it can’t be like that, I don’t think you can really do that, that whole thing with typing “y”, that’s just the internet doing its thing. Obviously, the other views are because it’s a great song and video. When that happens, you can’t (do anything to) affect it. You can try to force-feed it by doing the same thing repeatedly but if you look at the fifty-two something videos and continue to do quality things, then they those views will continue to be there. You see that in the shows, with a lot of those fans that have been there for ten years and that is so precious. The media coverage, that’s not connected to the actual work though. That’s connected to something else. It’s about what’s popular at the moment and I can’t compete with that and it has nothing to do with me.

In the age of instant celebrity, you managed to secure infamy without anyone really knowing who you were. For you is that an optimistic feeling?

That’s something that I’m proud of, but perhaps too proud of maybe. It’s rare that something is as pure as something like that, so I’m really happy that happened. Obviously I pointed a lot of people in a direction where if they weren’t interested they wouldn’t follow it, like with the whole identity when it wasn’t this supposed person or whatever, but it’s something that allowed me to tour all over the world.

You’ve recently assumed the persona ionnalee, a stylized spelling of your name. In a way, it has been hard to detach your previous effort iamamiwhoami from your current persona. How are the two similar yet different, and is that something you strive to change?

Mainly iam(amiwhoami) was about us (referring to Claes) internally, but it didn’t appear like it from the outside because I’m the frontperson and I created the project. It was always me and Claes. Claes is the main producer, I am the co-producer, we write all the music together and I write the lyrics and the melodies as well.

But for ionnalee, in iam(amiwhoami), I’ve never written from the point of “I”, from my perspective, my life and what concerns me. Also I produce everything myself but with some collaborations with Claes. He’s always like, “let’s do this!” playing some instruments. We love working together, we share a studio together. We have also had some of the same people working like (videographer) John Strandh and a few other ones were involved with iam(amiwhoami). So (the difference) it feels more like a project, not a person.

Both your projects have a very substantial audiovisual component to them and actually all you’re your singles follow up with a video. That’s quite a daunting task to say the least as music videos are huge commitments in time and in financial resources. How do you keep things fresh without blowing the budget?

Like financially, it’s always a bit of a struggle with how much time we can put in and with what gear we can produce with. We don’t have the funds to rent a lot of expensive stuff, so we relied a lot on what we could afford with our friends and stuff who want to help us create. For example, my brother Viktor (Kumlin) has always been John’s gaffer and cinematographer, even though he’s now a cinematographer himself. That’s one thing, but keeping the quality we will always make something because we feel like we have something to say and that’s easy then. You have the vision, you have the script, you have the song and everything’s together. If I would have continued making a video for every song like with iamamiwhoami that would be something that in the end would be something that wears out. I’m doing things differently now, to be more concentrated because I don’t want to being doing something just for the sake of format, like where I have to make a video.

Going back to the visual aspect, there is definitely the mythology; the mystique of “bounty” and “kin” but what really seems to be the underlying motif is the connection between the human connection to nature and the cosmos. Can you tell us how that inspires you, your imagery and music?

There are two sides to that; there’s creation in what we have done and the normative and traditional ways of doing things, then there’s creation, nature and how we connect to folklore. It’s what I grew up with and what my collaborators also did, so I guess it goes back to a question of visual aspect and it’s aesthetic. It’s a really hard question to answer.

Music is always a collaborative effor especially in the world of Jonna Lee, but what is most surprising is your connection to your fanbase. From the audiovisual aspect of in concert to your live shows, tell us how that has been? I suppose it has to be humbling but at the same time intimidating knowing that you have to deliver essentially for what they have paid for.

They are 50% of everything; they shaped the way the world tour acted. I didn’t think I would have toured (otherwise) because it would have been a hopeless thing. They’re communicating, live-chatting everything, I mean it’s sort of cliché but for ten years that’s really been the core of it all, otherwise it wouldn’t have been as interesting to create. They want to want to be part of it, that’s how I see it.

I know there have been many so-to-speak deeper questions being asked, but being the riddle and enigma you are, there is also an element to absurdity to all of this. Do you ever laugh at the all the toilet paper, cardboard boxes, glasses of milk, aluminum foil, morphsuits and fake fur you’ve used?

I mean that’s part of it; doing it in a different way. I mean I am laughing it all the time, like (the video) for “Some Body” that just came out today, editing it with all the common themes. It’s important to have that self-distance with yourself so that you don’t go in and become too self-absorbed. So humor is a good tool, because it also speaks to people and it’s nice and it makes you feel good and it’s not just (speaking mockingly) fashion! You know, it needs to have its human side.

You can check out ionnalee’s latest video for “Some Body” below:

[jennycalendar]

imperfections (49/?)

read it on ao3!

i made very bad life choices in order to finish this chapter (gotta go finish a lot of homework very fast now) but!! it’s done!!!!

“I mean, we’re not inviting him over for bangers and mash—did I say that right?”

“No,” said Giles, who hadn’t looked up from the newspaper.

“Whatever. No one asked you.”

“You asked me.”

“Shush. Anyway, we’re not inviting him over for bangers and mash or anything, but—we’re for real pretty good. Or good enough for now, at least.” Jen handed a tentative Buffy a string of lights. “Help Xander string some of these outdoors?”

“Sure,” said Buffy, looking relieved at the opportunity to do something that wasn’t just standing around.

“Are we doing a gift exchange?” Willow asked, darting worried eyes to the presents heaped on the coffee table. “I didn’t get any gifts—”

“It’s not a gift exchange,” said Jen, who was haphazardly stringing garlands of tinsel over the fireplace. “We just, you know, bought all of you gifts. There’s no exchange there.”

“You guys bought us gifts?” Buffy looked like she might melt.

“Oh, damn, we should give you yours before you’re off for Christmas with your mom!” gasped Jen, tossing one of the garlands over her shoulder at random.

It hit Giles in the face. He spat out some tinsel, then said, “Jenny—”

“Whoops,” said Jen remorselessly, turning back to draping tinsel in a way that definitely looked like a fire hazard.

Giles very carefully set down his newspaper, got up from the chair, and wrapped his arms around Jen’s waist from behind, scooping her up and off her feet. She shrieked, laughing. “You,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “have officially been stripped of all tinsel-related responsibilities.”

“Ugh, okay, on that note,” said Buffy, blushing furiously, and hurried out the door with the string of lights.

After a glance at Giles and Jen, Faith rolled her eyes, grinned, and followed, enjoying the gentle flurry of snow that was beginning to fall. “Is snow a usual thing in Sunnydale?” she asked Buffy, falling into step with her.

“Not usually,” Buffy answered, smiling softly as she turned to look at Faith. Snowflakes were catching in her hair, some of them landing on her soft red jacket, and she was probably one of the prettiest things Faith had ever seen. “Kind of a Christmas miracle, I guess.”

“Winter solstice miracle,” Faith corrected, grinning fondly in the direction of Jen’s half-open front door. “Jen seems pretty big on that aspect.”

Buffy’s attention had turned to the lights, which had somehow tangled themselves around most of her right arm. “What do you think the odds are that some of these are, like, magically annoying?” she grumbled, attempting to tug herself free.

“Oh, hey, don’t break those,” said Faith, hurrying forward to help untangle Buffy. Focusing largely on making sure Buffy was free of the lights, she almost missed the way Buffy’s blush returned with a vengeance. “You okay?”

“What?” squeaked Buffy.

Faith looked up at her, and that was when she realized how close they were. A few months of a solid, persistent crush on B had made her a little less panicky about physical proximity, which she felt kinda grateful for. The snow was falling softly around them, and the porch lights added a gentle glow to Buffy’s blonde hair—this kind of shit would have had her all kinds of nervous under different circumstances. “You okay?” she said again, ‘cause that was really what mattered after the few days they’d all had.

For a moment, Buffy’s deer-in-the-headlights look didn’t waver. Then she blinked, swallowed, and gave Faith a small, timid smile. “Merry Christmas,” she said.

“Winter solstice,” said Faith.

“Whatever,” said Buffy.

They stood there for another few seconds, and it felt…nice. In a not scary way. Faith hesitated, then said, “You know, you’ve been…I really like you, B. I’m glad we got to know each other.”

Buffy’s smile widened, and her eyes went all soft. “Me too,” she said.

There was a loud crash from the house, and then Jen shouted, “Okay, we are getting rid of some of these fucking boxes!”

Faith snickered. “I should probably get back in there,” she said. “Whatever’s going on sounds, uh, worth watching.”

“You do that,” said Buffy, who seemed to have finally managed to extricate herself from the lights. “I need to go see where Xander’s at.”

“I think he might be decorating the backyard?”

Buffy waved a hand. “I’m sure he’ll turn up,” she said.

“See?” said Xander, gesturing to the newly-furnished shed (newly-furnished, in this context, mostly just meant that he’d moved in a ratty mattress and a sleeping bag). “Sure, maybe it doesn’t have heating, but I moved most of my stuff in and now it’s actually pretty livable!”

Jenny pressed a hand to her temple. “Didn’t we have this conversation?”

“Yeah, but there’s so much more space in the shed,” Xander persisted. “And I figured, you know, with the boxes cluttering up your living room, it might at least make things easier if you didn’t have me taking up space on the couch on top of all that.”

Rupert had a strange expression on his face. “Xander, you really aren’t taking up space,” he said quietly. “You’re here because you need a place to stay. If anything, the fault is ours for not having a larger house.”

Xander scoffed. “So what, the blame falls on you ‘cause Ms. Calendar didn’t think to buy a three-bedroom?”

“Oh, it certainly isn’t Jenny’s fault,” said Rupert earnestly.

“If anything, it’s the books’ fault,” said Jenny.

“Let’s not toss harsh words around,” said Rupert immediately. “The books are a non-negotiable.”

“Rupert, we need more space,” Jenny persisted. “And I’m not tossing the kids out on the street for the sake of your personal collection.”

Rupert’s eyes were soft and bright. “I’d never suggest that,” he said. “I would, however, suggest a larger house.”

Jenny blinked. “What?”

“W-well,” Rupert began, nervous but still determined, “I, I know the subject of, of commitment hasn’t really come up in any, ah, serious way, particularly since my moving in was more out of convenience than anything, but I—” He stopped, smiling shyly. “I love you very much,” he said. “I think I’d like to take that next step and buy a house with you. A real one, that’ll fit all of us.”

Jenny felt a rush of butterflies. “So you’re not planning on leaving?” she asked, the words tumbling out before she could snatch them back.

Rupert’s smile fluttered, then faded; he looked ashamed. “I won’t ever do that again, Jenny,” he said. “I regret—deeply—that that’s a question you even have to ask. No, I-I’m not—I don’t think I ever want to leave you and the children.”

It was the children,hesitant but still firm, that did it. Without a word, Jenny gripped Rupert’s lapels, pulling him into a soft, solid kiss.

Xander attempted to pointedly cough, swallowed wrong, and started hacking.

Jenny pulled away from Rupert. “Go drink some water,” she instructed Xander, stepping over to brush some snow out of his hair.

Through his coughing fit, Xander choked, “So no to the shed?”

“You’re going to have your own bedroom at the new place, Xander,” said Jenny patiently.

Xander stopped coughing, mouth half-open. Weakly, he said, “I’m not—I mean, you guys aren’t letting me stay, are you? You said not for anything permanent, you said—”

“Yes, well, that was before we had a big enough place to put you up,” said Rupert simply. “If we’re getting a new house, it stands to reason that we’re to factor in the innumerable amount of children that seem to be in it on a daily basis.”

Jenny elbowed him.

“Ah. What I meant was…” Rupert trailed off, his cheeks red from a mixture of cold and what Jenny knew was shy affection. It gratified her, seeing that look directed at Xander. “Your home situation isn’t ideal, Xander,” he said. “Given that Jenny and I have the resources to rectify that, I think it’s only appropriate that we shall. If you’d like to stay—”

“Yeah,” said Xander. His eyes were wet.

“And do you see your parents objecting?”

Xander wavered. Then he said, “When I went to pick up the last of my stuff from my mom’s, she said she thought it was a good thing, me and him not being under the same roof.” He swallowed, hard. “She said that maybe some distance is what me and my dad both need.”

Rupert cocked his head, a glint in his eye reminiscent of the way he’d looked during his and Jenny’s conversation about Angel. “Oh, did she?” he said coolly.

Jenny placed a calming hand on Rupert’s arm. “Well, that’s good, then,” she said, and meant it. “That means you get to stay with us.”

Xander had a look in his eyes that suggested, had he been a few years younger, he might have tackled Jenny in a hug. As it was, he wavered, awkwardly clapped Giles on the shoulder, said “Cool,” to the shed, and hurried away, a tentative smile lingering on his face.

“So, new house?” said Jenny, letting her hand move to Rupert’s shoulder.

Rupert turned to her, looking at her as though he almost couldn’t believe she was there. “Yes,” he said softly. “Yes, a-a new house, with, with bedrooms, a backyard, perhaps a study—”

Jenny stood on tiptoe and kissed him again, properly this time, twining her arms around his neck as he lifted her off her feet.

Faith was sitting on the couch when Xander came up, dropped the coil of lights on top of the coffee table, and fell into the seat next to her, a dazed expression on his face. “They said I could stay,” he said.

“Yeah, they’re cool like that,” said Faith, bumping his shoulder. “Merry solstice or whatever, I guess.”

Xander hesitated, giving Faith a sidelong glance. “So, uh, we’re gonna be under the same roof,” he said awkwardly.

“Looks like,” said Faith.

“You cool with that?”

“Well, if the new place is gonna fit you, me, Giles, Jen, and five metric tons of books, I figure it’s gonna be a pretty big roof,” said Faith lightly.

“Not what I meant,” said Xander simply.

Faith sighed, then took a moment to seriously consider the question. “You’re cool enough,” she said. “Plus you’ve kinda been living here already.”

“That wasn’t permanent—”

“Course it was, dumbass,” said Faith, amused, and that was when it hit her: she was going to be living with Giles and Jen for as long as she wanted. They were getting a new house for Xander and the books, sure, but for her too. “Course it was,” she said again, all but wondrously.

Xander gave her this annoying little smirk. “It hit you too, didn’t it?” he said, all but smug.

“Whatever,” said Faith, and settled herself into the couch, letting her shoulder bump against Xander’s. After a moment of contemplation, she added, “My room better be bigger than yours.”

“That’s seriously what you’re worried about?”

“I have seniority, Harris,” Faith informed him. “I have rights—”

This was when Jen and Giles stumbled through the hallway and into the living room, nearly knocking over two boxes of books. Giles’s jacket got caught on some tinsel. “So!” said Jen, who looked the happiest that Faith had ever seen her. “We are going to have to start instigating a semi-regular bedtime, because growing kids need their sleep.”

“Shit, Jen, two seconds of domestic bliss and you’re already trying to mom us to death?” Faith tipped her head back, grinning at the ceiling.

“Everyone has to start somewhere,” said Jen unapologetically, squeezing in between Faith and Xander. “Move. I want to watch some bad celebratory TV.”

“Actually, Jenny, I, ah, think we should all start looking at real estate listings,” said Giles suddenly. “There were a few I marked in the newspaper—”

Faith hesitated, then turned, tucking herself into Jen’s side. What the fuck, right? It was the best time of year to be sentimental and dumb as shit. “Love you,” she said, quietly enough that only Jen would hear it.

In answer, and very gently, Jen smoothed down Faith’s hair, fingers catching in a few lingering tangles from the mess brought on by the Bringers. “Happy solstice, Faith,” she said.

[chazzmsu]

Pumzi Review

Watching Pumzi, a short film that I felt was very mysterious. There was very little dialogue mainly actions taken by the main character with an abrupt ending. It had a very short prologue before the movie officially started. stating a "water war" happened in the movies setting causing massive scarcity. After doing some research on these short films setting, I learned that films were set in Maitu, An east African community. and the massive war that happened was World War three, an event this film takes place thirty-five years after. The films message of preservation in the end left me confused but eventually I understood what the film was trying to say.

Furthermore, the fact that this movie takes place thirty-five years after World War three frightens me. In this current era, it feels like this movies plot would be very plausible. Especially, due to ongoing conflict of Russia versus Ukraine. If things get any worse, we are going to realistically enter an era of nuclear bombing and warfare across the globe. And experience things very similar to this short film. From An overbearing government forcing its citizens to recycle precious resources after a massive nuclear warfare. To citizens having to generate their own source of power underneath a highly policed community. Where the outside was a barren and nuclear filled waste land is a scary thought.

As well as that, in the films beginning sequence the main character falls asleep has a dream about a giant fertile tree. Her computer than tells her to take her dream suppressants. Which she promptly takes. She even references this dream later in the film when she finds the fertile soil and plant only to be told by the council that she needs to take her dream suppressants. Without a doubt, this whole notion that you’re not allowed to dream is tyrannical. I couldn’t imagine being in a society where my own creativity and thought could be suppressed, or my freedoms stripped from me. Your dreams are really important and defines who you are as a person. It makes you unique and stand out among the rest of society. The council doesn’t want that, they want to control human nature and make you into a living human battery. Clearly, this short films council could easily be related to current societies like China or North Korea. Where if you are not a model citizen and law-abiding member of society you are forced to work to death. Under the watchful eye of militarized police who would sooner beat you for stepping out of line., Versus actually serving their communities without corruption.

Importantly, this films message of scarcity, preservation of nature and the lack of communication helped me greatly understand the ending. Throughout the film the main characters dialogue was mainly voice over. And the only voice that spoke was the council. The first time the main character spoke the council quickly silenced her shutting down her ideas to pursue for fertile soil. And quickly sending in guards to destroy the museum. In every instance the council got the final say in all decisions. It wasn’t a society it was merely a dictatorship ruled by the members who were allowed to make decisions. Once she left and eventually died to let the sapling grow. It helped me understand that without proper communication in this society they were content with eventually all going to die. Instead of saving it by reclaiming the land. And that it takes the actions of the individual to take the first step to make great change.

In conclusion this short film was very inspiring. From its very power message of preservation. And the horrors of a voiceless society forcing people to under the guise of helping their communities to generate power and to recycle. A film I would recommend.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

And so, yesterday, we ended vacation number 2, our Disney vacation, with Linzy's rideshare spiriting her away from our hotel.

We began vacation number three, our peace-out days, by returning to our room and lazing away a few hours.

Around three in the afternoon, we called in a rideshare to Blizzard Beach.

This time our driver was a former banker from Venezuela who moved here three years ago with their family. We asked if any other family members were able to move here and they told us their parents couldn't get visas.

They're definitely not in love with their former homeland's government.

And glad to be here in this country.

We arrived at Blizzard Beach just shy of 3:30 and the very first thing we did was indulge a round of miniature golf right outside the entrance to the water park. I managed to document (ish) all 18 holes in a YouTube playlist called Winter Summerland Miniature Golf with Kimmer. :-)

We finish a little after 4:30 and, by the time we slip into a pair of those lovely, lovely floating chairs at Blizzard Beach, it’s about 5.

Now I don't know when this happened, but it was still full-on sunny 'n hot when we finished our round of miniature golf. So I'm pretty sure it was still sunny when we used the dressing rooms.

After that?

No idea. The sun was also lower in the sky. For sure at some point while we were floating effortlessly on the river we both realized the outdoor temperature was probably not enough to air-dry us once we got out. For sure I knew the day had turned overcast when I looked up into the trees somewhere after we went through the mountain to spot the owl we were told was perched up in those trees.

And yeah.

It was totally up there.

A real, live owl.

Rotated its head and everything.

Okay, a coupla songs I wanna draw your attention to because they fit so perfectly with the experience of floating a lazy river. They played occasionally on outdoor speakers during each of our four visits:

"Kokomo" by The Beach Boys and

"Don't Worry" by Bob Marley.

They defined the experience.

And now for a plot twist. 

Shortly after seeing the owl, coming up on quarter to six, we hear the unmistakable rumblings of thunder.

Shortly after that, one of the lifeguards tells us they probably have us get out of the river soon.

And on the heels of that statement, a crack of lightning with almost simultaneous thunder.

At which point the guards basically say Get out of the river...

Now.

So we hustle to the nearest exit point and get out.

More lightning, as we head to the front of the park.

More thunder... but farther away.

And then. 

And then as we're coming within sight of the dressing rooms... two bolts of lightning race to the ground somewhere in front of us outside the park. Two bolts, racing each other, separated by maybe a mile. At the same time, the crackle of thunder and a vibration we can all feel beneath our feet.

It’s unnerving.

Absolutely.

Unnerving.

There are a lot of scared kids right about now, too.

By the time we get to our locker and dressing rooms, everything in the park's shut down tight. Including the place you go to get towels. You know, to dry off?

Because here's the thing: we just got out of the river. Now we've gotta throw on our clothes and hustle out of the park. And for me, I'm wearing the only shirt I brought with me. The one Kimmer got me that surfers use.

So there you go. We get dressed. We're still wet. And when we exit the park and get on the bus... the air conditioning on the bus is going full throttle.

And now we're freezing.

Free...

Zing.

The bus driver's cool, though... he shuts it off for us.

Once the bus is on the road a few minutes later, we get to talking with a mother and her son who are sitting across from us.

New York's their hometown and they’re both concerned about hurricane Henry that's predicted to make landfall along the New York coast on Monday.

The day they both fly home.

We felt anxious for them.

I really hope they make it home safe.

Now, we had a plan before this fire drill happened. We were maybe going to have dinner at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Kimmer had a better idea, though. The Rainforest Cafe at Disney's Animal Kingdom park. Now, I only ever saw an entrance to the restaurant inside the park... but it turns out there's an entrance after the security check point, before the park entrance, off to the left.

Go figure.

Inside The Rainforest Cafe, indulging an appetizer plate and ciders, it's incredibly amusing to watch their indoor rainstorm complete with lightning and thunder outside. Amusing because it’s soooo much more catastrophic and straight up scary outside.

Speaking of outside, this is definitely not the Pacific Northwest. Because when it rains back home, it's cold and wet. Here, it's just hot and humid no matter what. So because it was hot all day... the concrete absorbed all that heat from the sun and continued to be hot both during the rain and after. Causing steam to rise off the pavement even after it stopped raining.

It's a very. Cool look.

So all around there's steam rising from the ground. And even though it's been pouring rain this last hour or so, and even though it's now full-blown nighttime... it's still quite warm out. With the occasional flash of lightning far, far away inside the clouds.

Here’s a little more of the lightning show if you wanna see more...

Finally, our ride shows up and we're on our way home.

This ride, however, turns out to be a blunt reminder that there are people so in over their heads... it breaks your heart. Or maybe they're fighting a losing battle. Or maybe…

They're simply running out of steam.

And I'm not even talking about people suffering from anything. I'm talking about the people, friends, family, who are valiantly trying to help those who are suffering. Whether that suffering's self-inflicted, the result of abuse, or the product of collateral damage.

They can't.

Keep.

This up.

For their friends or for their family.

They can't sustain the good fight. No matter how hard they try.

And yet.

They hear someone in pain tell them "I wanna stop. But I can't get it out of my head." And they still wanna help.

They see someone get arrested. And they wanna help.

They fully experience the weight of someone they love losing their life to meth, to heroin, to molly, to any number of addictions.

And they wanna help.

It's a tough conversation to be part of. At the end of it, though, Kimmer offers a pair of resources that help family and friends keep their heads above water:

Never Alone Recovery...

and Alanon.

And then we're home. And our day ends.

Okay so this morning we're up at 7-ish 'cause we've gotta check out by noon. And we don't need that process to be a fire drill.

So we ease into the day out on the balcony for the last time. We make and have the last omelet of our trip (mushrooms, rosemary ham, parisian cheese, and sun dried tomatoes) and savor it before beginning the process of packing our bags once again, cleaning out the refrigerator of all that Trader Joe's food we put in there and packing it for home, running the dishwasher, stripping the beds, and taking the last few photographs and a video of this place because it's worthy of such remembering.

By ten minutes after noon we're out the door and to the elevator where we meet a gentleman who's also checking out. When the elevator arrives, we get to talking and, when the doors open again, we exit into the hallway only to realize this is only the fourth floor. As in we've only traveled one floor down and here we are again.

Waiting for the elevator.

It takes awhile. And when it does arrive... it's packed with other travelers checking out. So we let that one go.

At some point, I'm not sure how or when, Kimmer 'n I both notice a luggage cart that's literally parked right next to/behind us. So we load all of our bags onto it and continue the wait and the conversation with our fellow traveler from Georgia who was triple checking his room before joining his family downstairs..

By ‘n by, actually just when he's about to give up and take the stairs... the elevator arrives.

We get on, now with a luggage cart in tow, the door closes, we go down, the door opens, we exit the elevator...

And now we're on the third floor.

This is definitely not going well. It also doesn't say much for our attention to, you know, detail.

Eventually our fellow traveler does take the stairs after we bid each other safe travels (he and his family have a six hour drive home ahead of them). And for the next few minutes we consider how poorly our attempt to leave this hotel is going.

When the elevator finally does arrive (again) we get in and observe very carefully that it travels the full distance to the ground floor.

And yes, a process that should've taken us thirty seconds just took us about fifteen minutes.

We are not proud of that achievement.

Neither is it going on our resumes.

By 12:30 we're checked out and we check our luggage in with the hotel to store for us whilst we enjoy that lazy river at Blizzard Beach one more time. It's actually the last of our "plus" visits including the miniature golf we played yesterday. So we're feeling good about buying the Disney Park Hopper Plus package.

At the gate, though, the biometric doesn't recognize any of my fingers... so the attendants call for Emily who scans my pass which somehow causes the biometric to recognize me, and thus...

Save the day.

Oh sure, it wasn't dramatic as all that. But it is a heckuva thing to be told I'm not who I've been this whole time while they were letting me into the park.

Anyway, they've only been using the device again since a couple days ago, Friday, so...

Yay Emily!!! 😁

Once inside the park, we're already wearing our swim suits so a few minutes later, around one, we're in the river. Not so lucky this time around with the floating chairs, we float the river on tubes instead until an elderly couple ahead of us at some point give theirs up as they exit the water. And then later I score one of those cool clear plastic ones with the green handles for Kimmer 'cause they're her favorite.

Aside from the musical tubes, it's a peaceful, super relaxing way to end our vacation floating around the edge of the park staring alternately up through the trees to the twinkling sunlight above. Not a care in the world right then. Just the two of us. 🙂♥️♥️♥️

A little over an hour later, about 2:15, Kimmer calls it 'cause we still need a little time to air-dry ourselves before heading back to the dressing rooms.

We kill that time with a grape fruit hefeweizen that the bartender not only loves herself... but she got her parents to try it and now they're big fans, too.

Three o'clock comes and goes and, five minutes later, we're in another rideshare talking Covid with the driver who's had it now twice. Who's had both injections. Whose former employer wouldn't allow employees to wear masks. Who was among a bunch of employees who got Covid early on that first time. Whose immune system's having a hard time. Who's undergoing a ton of medical tests. Whose lungs still haven't returned to full capacity. Who's frustrated and anxious, and worried about their future.

Now we're back at the hotel for a quick turnaround. All we've gotta do is grab our luggage from the hotel's storage and hail a rideshare. All of which we manage to do quickly, unlike our earlier attempted elevator ride prior to checkout.

It's a little after 330 by now and we're picked up by Manuel, a Hispanic gentleman from Queens. We only spend about 20 minutes with him... but it's a packed 20 minutes starting with our marriage and then how he married his high school sweetheart. I think they met in the early 80s (or before) so they're going on 40 years married.

Rideshare is a small part of what Manuel does, he's an accountant by trade. It's something he realized was his calling or strength when he was 18 or 19, eventually doing the books for local businesses and making sure they were right with the city regarding paperwork. It was during one of his visits to the city, filing some paperwork on-person, that he met a supervisor at city hall who was from Cuba... which opened his eyes to his own possibilities. Eventually, he went to work for the city himself.

Education is important to Manuel. Even if I didn't know that, what I would know about the man, what I would recognize in him... is a confidence born of expertise and wisdom. Someone with a command of life. Someone refined.

We spend our last minutes talking about our kids, the education we all sought out for them, and the education they received. Right up to the moment we’re pulling up to the curb in front of Southwest Airlines. 

We end our time here in the company of a true gentleman.

After that?

Well, it’s just the trip home which is pretty anticlimactic. 

We waited a bunch. Walked a bunch. Took a picture or two in front of the hotel where we stayed that one time we were treated to a Disney Cruise...

...and then walked a bunch more.

And then waited a bunch more until, eventually, we were on a plane and then we were on another plane... and that plane landed at Sea-Tac around 2AM, the next morning. Monday morning. And we got home around 3. With both of us scheduled to work first thing the same morning.

Yeah.

Not totally ideal.

The way I’d like to end this tale, though, is in the sky above Phoenix, Arizone.

You see the first leg of our journey home was Orlando to Phoenix. And, as we approached Phoenix, I noticed the dramatic shapes of the clouds in the glow of a sun that had already set.

If you haven’t noticed it before, next time you’re somewhere not home, look up into the sky. It seems the sky isn’t the same wherever we go. It takes on different personalities. Florida was like that for sure. And, it turns out, Phoenix.

It was glorious. It was brilliant. 

It was a perfect “The End”.

If you’d like to see a little more of what we saw in these final moments, click here.

And enjoy!

🙂

[somuchanemoia]

Just some quick Delix drabble...

Soooo....it’s like 3 am here and I can’t sleep and I am in need of some Delix. I probably butchered these characters so much so to @delta-roseblr , I am so freaking sorry. pls don’t hate me for butchering these two perfect boys, i swear i tried.

For and based on the original characters of @delta-roseblr ‘s fic “Normal Lives”. I am literally just that big of a fangirl over these two OCs that I had to do something. 

Warning: contains swearing 

“Dean, I can--” 

“No.”

“Just let me help, god--”

“No. Felix, no. I’ve got this.” Felix practically growled as he stared at his boyfriend. Dean was obviously stressing about this and really it had been Felix’s fault that his car's engine had blown. FUCK! Why was he being such a stick in the mud about all of this? Felix had money. He had the resources to get Dean’s car fixed if his boyfriend would just let him fucking help!

“God damn it, Dean!” Dean jumped when Felix’s hands smacked the top of the kitchen table. They were at his place currently, sitting at the kitchen table and commiserating together over the current loss of Dean’s car over the last beer in the fridge. Felix could see the heaviness in Dean’s eyes; the stress was clouding the normal comforting blue, making them cloudy and heavy. 

It was kind of Felix’s fault the engine blew too. 

It had started on a Monday morning when Felix was running late. Dean had promised to drive him and with Will out of town in New York for another day, they had the car all to themselves. Dean had been honking the horn, yelling for Felix to hurry up and to “get his ass in the car before he left without him”. Once he finally had strolled out of the house and slid into the passenger seat, Dean was off like a bullet out of a smoking gun. 

He had never seen Dean drive so fast and the prospect of it was a little scary. Dean’s old Honda was on its last limb and looked like it was mostly being held together by duct tape and Dean’s faith in it. The air conditioning was mostly shot and tended to make a funny smell when turned on (Felix had learned that one by accident before Dean could stop him from messing with the controls), the trunk had issues, and, once, Felix had seen a small trail of smoke poof from the steering wheel. The car was a total lemon, but it had four wheels and could get them around this tiny nowhere town and that was something Felix was still missing in his new life with his Dad. 

But with the Honda being a lemon and both of them being late and, more importantly, Dean being behind the wheel and going fast, things went downhill rather quickly. 

If anything in the car worked well, it was the seatbelts, which Felix had been more than grateful for. At home, before his car had been stripped from him and he had been brought to the middle of fucking nowhere Tennesse, Felix had been a good driver; no tickets, no accidents, and he managed to keep his car in perfect condition. Dean, however, was scary when he wasn’t going fast. He never fully braked if he could help and he also had a tendency to take corners a little faster than he should’ve. 

It was that day that Felix had realized something else about his boyfriend: Dean Solace had a lead foot when he was on the brink of being tardy. 

That’s when it had happened. Dean was lead footing them down the street, going fast. Felix was gripping his seat belt for security, trying to not let Dean see how unnerved he felt in the middle of Dean’s death trap of a car. They had been going back and forth over the noise of the music when it had happened. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to notice the sudden white fog that was drifting into the air around them amongst Dean’s worn cloth seats. There was a loud pop from the Honda and then they started rapidly slowing down. 

Several minutes of panicked murmuring as they observed under the hood, a few nonhelpful quips on Felix’s part and a scream of mixed emotions from Dean later, the Honda had been pronounced temporarily dead on the side of the road. 

The lemon had finally met its match and since the point, their hands had hit the trunk and had begun to push it closer to the safety of a parking lot, Dean’s eyes had been clouded in a haze of stress, worry and, most disturbingly, sadness. 

Dean wasn’t supposed to look like that. He wasn’t. Dean was not only EXTREMELY hot, but he was also EXTREMELY handsome. You’d have to be blind, deaf and mute to not see how Dean Solace could make anyone with taste go crazy for him. Blonde hair that smelt amazing and a perfect spattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks (that Felix also knew happened to travel down to Dean’s back and shoulders), eyes bluer than the sky and deeper than the night. And beyond the stunning good looks, Dean also was a fucking good person. Felix wasn’t into poetry, but he was into Dean and that was the only poem he would probably ever be in love with. He couldn’t stand seeing such a perfect poem be so distraught when he had the means to be able to take the stress away from its stanzas. 

“Will you just shut the fuck up and listen to me for a minute?” Felix was tense. He had endured a week of watching Dean being beside himself on this matter and it was beginning, not only to be irritating but stressful for Felix as well. While Dean had managed to convince his Dad to occasionally lend him his own truck, Dean had mentioned that his father would be going out of town for an x amount of time and had no idea when he would be coming back. And while that normally meant that his boyfriend would be entirely free no matter what to spend time with Felix, it also meant that they would have no other way to school except for the bus and there was no way in hell Felix would be taking that route. He had spent enough time with his peers at this backwards school, there was no way he would be spending any longer with them once he was free from school. 

Dean blinked almost owlishly at him for a minute before focusing his blue eyes on Felix’s own brown ones, “Listen,” Felix began a little softer, though the irritation was still there, “You’re graduating in a few months. You got accepted to Columbia. Tuition is fucking expensive.” In truth, Felix reasoned, Dean probably would drive his old Honda around even if he had the funds to by a brand new Audi. Dean was just that kind of person, “You're in no shape to dole out almost a grand, right now.”

Felix could see the walls starting to build up around Dean. They had never talked about money before, at least like this; there hadn’t been a need too. Felix knew there were some financial problems between Dean and his Dad (what kind of high school senior would work as hard at multiple summer jobs like Dean did if there wasn’t?) but Felix had never had mustered up the boldness to ask. He had seen Dean shut down about his home life and he was slowly working Dean open to the idea to let Felix see his house, he hadn’t wanted to ask about money when he was finally starting to get Dean to let him glimpse into his home life in the slightest way. 

“I don’t need your help, Felix.” Dean’s eyes drifted from Felix’s and towards the table. 

“Unless you suddenly have the ability to pull money out of your ass, I think you should hear me out.”

Dean sighed and pulled the beer that had been sitting in front of Felix towards him and took a rather long sip from it, “The soccer season is over. If I just look into taking up a couple of side jobs, I can--”

Felix barely held back an eye roll, “What about your biology grade? You have to have that to graduate, dude.”

“I can handle it. Sure, money might be a little tight and if I’m held back a year we can graduate together if worse comes to worse...” Dean was muttering to himself as his fingers twirled the half empty bottle of beer. 

A dry chuckle sprouted from between Felix’s lips and soon it grew into a steady stream of laughter. He couldn’t help it as he looked at Dean’s handsome face covered in that look. It was similar to the look he got when he was trying to study for a Biology test and was definitely considering just bullshitting his way through the exam instead. It was exasperating and adorable all at once and Felix couldn’t decide if he wanted to punch Dean or kiss him. 

“You are one crazy bastard,” Felix finally said as he grabbed Dean’s hand that was laying on the table to give it a squeeze, “It’s a good thing I really like you because you are so fucking annoying.”

[torathedemigod-blog]

Captured - A Mermaids Tale

Coming of age is a scary thing for all mers. Everything you think you know changes, and you are expected to make many life changing decisions. It is also when you become receptive, and when you start searching for a mate.

The first sign I when your old, dull colored scales start to come off in sheets like sea-snake skin. They're replaced by bright, vibrant scales.

I was sitting in my room, reading a book, and scratching my tail once and a while. All of a sudden, a patch of skin floated off. I looked down to see ribbon like strips of skin floating around my tail. I gasped.

As soon as your parents see that you are coming of age, they send you out to find materials for a fancy, new Skæ. The more skilled you are at weaving and sewing, the better quality your Skæ will be, and more males will take notice of you.

During the period of Coming of Age, you will be in a great deal of pain. For the females, your breasts begin to grow and fill out, you will take on more of a curvy shape, and your reproductive system becomes active. The pheromones that you give off shows males you're receptive. For the males, the reproductive system will be growing, you become taller, more square shouldered, your voice deepens and the webbing on your hands grows to about one inch past your fingertips.

It had been three days since my tail started shedding. The cramps had started. I lay in my sponge bed, naked. It helped to be naked. Not as much pressure. My breasts hurt, my tail hurt, my stomach hurt. I caught a small whiff of what males seemed to go wild for. To me it just smelled like sickly sweet smell of a rotting corpse. I sighed, blowing the noxious scent out of my throat. I had raided the kitchen last night, and the cravings were hitting me hard. I reached under my bed for a candied crab-apple and some manatee-milk cookies, shoving them in my mouth and crunching grudgingly. I got up and swam over to my window, pulled the curtains closed, and then swam to my mirror. I looked awful. My tail was blotchy and sickly, my hair was matted and tangled, my eyes were tired, but my breasts were a little bit plumper since the last I had looked at them. As I stood examining myself, there was a knock on my door. I hurriedly tugged on a Skæ that was too small and wrapped my blankets around me.

I opened the door to my father.

"Hello, Papa."

"Hello, Saskia- Ugh.....what's that smell?"

I sniffed. It reeked of pheromones.

"Oona next door is coming of age." I said quickly, trying to keep from blushing.

It wasn't entirely a lie. Four days ago I saw her mating with a boy of a dark blue tail in her room, and she came of age only a few weeks ago. Guess she forgot to close the curtains...

"How do you know about coming of age?" He asked suspiciously.

I blushed.

"Oona told me about it."

I said, embarrassed. She had told me briefly, but yesterday I had gotten a book on it from Ala the bookkeeper. He shrugged.

"It's about time you learned. I guess I should have a chat with you."

He swam in and sat on my bed.

The dreaded 'talk'

I thought.

I closed the door and sat on a cushy sea sponge. Unlike human skin, which infects the coral and kills its outer layer, mermaid tails are covered in an insulating slime which helps the coral grow.

"As you know," My father began, "Around this age mermaids begin to change. They mature into beautiful merwomen. They're tails start to shed, giving way to shiny brilliant scales, their breasts grow, enabling them to feed their future children, and their reproductive systems become active. This will happen to you eventually, and when it does you must find a mate. Many males will ask you to become theirs, and to give birth to their spawn. You must choose carefully, my dear, for merpeople mate for life. You choose the male that you think suitable, and then you bring him to us. He will tell us the plan of his mating display. We will ask him questions and inspect him, and then he will take you to a quiet place and perform a mating display. I may be anything from dancing and flickering around to.......exposing himself to you. You will decide if you are impressed by the display, and if you are, then you will bond. If you aren't, you will move on and look for a different courtship partner. I found this book shoved under the couch and thought it might be useful to explaining past my knowledge."

He brought out the book I had gotten from Ala. Lucky thing my mother hadn't found it first or she would have known that I had come of age immediately. I took it from him hesitantly.

"Thanks, Papa. I'll read it."

"Good." He looked relived. He got up and swam out the door, closing it behind him. flopped back on my bed, slowly scrolling through the pages of the book. My father had always wanted a son. He had told my mother that he wouldn't know what to do with a girl. I suspect he didn't want to try.

The next day I left for the kelp forest, in order to collect resources for my Skæ. I swam through the kelp for a little while,once and a while picking some pretty seaweed or collecting a few good shells. I didn't know what I wanted to do for my Skæ yet. Frankly, I didn't care. I had no intention of searching for a mate. I was going to take my time and wait for my mate to come to me, if he even came at all. I didn't want to stay home every day, listening to the whining of children and then have my mate come home and expect me to lay in bed and take it as he sweats over me. I didn't want to give birth to 15 screaming babies and lose my shape and beauty to sleepless nights and motionless days. It's all give and no get, and I have no time for that. But, I'll go through the motions leading up to it for the sake of my mother, who is a hopeless romantic, especially when it concerns me.

I eventually got to a little clearing, where there was a good amount of delicate new kelp sprouts and small colorful rocks. Perfect for a fancy Skæ. I unloaded the contents of my bag onto the ground. I had brought with me my weaving board, a small abrasive rock for polishing rocks, a few bone knives, some seal leather, and my fishbone needle. I collected what I needed and started on my Skæ. A few hours later I had completed it. A fresh green wrap around, weaved with colored rocks and shells, and red tassels that flowed down to my navel. I packed up my things and began to head home.

When I was about halfway back, I felt my back muscles tense and tingle with anticipation. I turned and spotted a Great White Shark swimming towards me, its beady emotionless eyes staring right through my body. My breath quickened as I thrashed my tail and sped foreward, manuvering through the kelp. As I swam, the seaweed became more and more tangled, forcing me to take a path that was unfamiliar to me. I looked behind me again. The shark was approaching quickly, its mouth gaping and full of sharp serrated teeth. My eyes widend as I imagined my body being torn and battered as it gobbled me down. All of a sudden I slammed into a wall of matted kelp. I struggled to free myself from it as the shark approached, but only succeeded in tangling myself further. I looked back at the shark as it swam towards me. All of a sudden a dark shape bolted across the shark's path. A cloud of blood erupted from its gills and it jerked its head, swimming off in a hurry. I stared after it, desheveled and gasping. After I untangled myself from the kelp, I hurried home, hiding under the covers of my bed until nightfall.

Now I'm sneaking out and heading to the beach. There was no moon tonight, so the darkness aided me as I made my escape. I swam along the soft rippled sand, breathing in the cool water as it flowed over me. I reached the beach, and sped up, leaping out of the water and onto the sand. I couldn't breathe for a few seconds. I closed my eyes and waited, feeling my throat tighten as my trachea opened up and my gills laid flat against my neck. I slid farther up the beach, and began to grind my tail against the sand, hoping to scratch and scrape at the scales until they were too ruined for any merman to be attracted to. Once I heard a disturbance in the water, right behind some boulders. I spotted the glitter of eyes too. I hunkered down in the sand, piling it around me, and watched. There was another disturbance, and the thing disappeared into the water. I let out a sigh of relief and continued to thrash around in the sand until there were grains underneath each scale, then I slipped back in the water and swam home, cuddling underneath the blankets and drifting into an exhausted sleep.

***********

Want to read more? Go to

https://www.wattpad.com/story/136852736-captured-edited-continued-version

Or go to Wattpad.com, search for rue4life, and click on Captured. (I suggest edited version, much less clingy)

[waynekelton]

Doom Eternal | Review

Doom 2016 achieved a wonderful thing: it was very lame but also extremely smart. While its story was nonexistent and its aesthetic was ripped from the walls of a teenage metalhead, its combat was a fast-paced, pitch-perfect blend of thoughtful mechanics that never got old.

The Past

Like 1994’s Doom II, Doom Eternal sees your space marine protagonist return from hell to find Earth besieged by demons. Billions have been slaughtered, but no one is fighting alongside you, really. It has simply fallen on you to fix this situation because you are the Doom guy.

In a nice touch, id didn’t contrive a way to strip you of your acquired abilities from the last game; previously unlockable things like double-jump and the chainsaw are accessible to you right from the beginning. You even start out with a shotgun.

This frees up Doom Eternal to offer a more kinetic, exciting experience as soon as you see the title screen fade out. The level design is far more open, diverse, and vertical than in Doom 2016; survival is about acrobatics as much as it is headshots.

There aren’t many first-person shooters that show such a creative approach to moving through space. Doom Eternal is frequently reminiscent of Titanfall 2 in its almost Nintendo lack of restraint when it comes to constructing elaborate, dangerous environments. Sometimes, you’ll literally see spinning fire bars straight out of Super Mario Bros.

This extends to the combat arenas, which benefit from the expanded focus on movement.

You’ll often find yourself, say, swinging from a bar to avoid an energy blast from an enemy before shooting them on the way down and gorily dispatching them with one of their own limbs in the space of a second or two.

That such a thing is even possible is the result of Doom Eternal’s unique system-driven combat, which is mostly unchanged from its predecessor.

How does it work?

Doom’s combat is like the video game equivalent of an expertly cooked Wagyu burger. You can appreciate the incredible artistry and the beautiful marbling if you look closely, or you can just chow the hell down.

Here’s how it works: you have guns, obviously, and you can use them to kill scary monsters. But if you do the right amount of damage before sending them back to the underworld. They’ll stagger back and glow orange, opening the door for you to perform a gruesome finishing move. Restore some health at the same time.

Your chainsaw, meanwhile, is a one-button option that can be used to carve enemies apart and gain some more ammo; the only catch here is you need to find gas to keep its tank full. You also have a flamethrower that can toast demons and bestow you with armor, but that ability resets on a timer.

Doom Eternal’s new additions include an ice bomb that freezes enemies in place and a “blood punch” attack that breaks through armor, but the basic flow feels more or less the same.

Gameplay

Battles will typically see you use most of your abilities in a perpetual whirlwind of resource management. Killing enemies a certain way depending on what they’re weak to, which color they’re glowing, and what you’re running low on in the heat of the moment.

At its best, Doom Eternal feels like Guitar Hero: you enter the zone and do what needs to be done almost without thinking.

Speaking of guitars, Doom Eternal’s soundtrack is pitch-perfect. Australian composer Mick Gordon has returned to deliver another original score, which continues to be metal as hell and perfectly suited to Doom’s aesthetic.

Gordon’s work is intense and original. Blending industrial sounds with deep bassy grooves that serve as a pulsating backdrop to the demonic action. It’s perhaps the most acute example of how well id has handled the tone. And the vibe of the new Doom games. 

Doom always had cool music. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to re-create the early games’ famous MIDI jams with butt-rock guitars. Instead, Gordon has carved out an iconoclastic sound that people will come to identify with Doom just as much as the ’90s soundtracks.

For all of its satisfying, sparse design, Doom Eternal does occasionally overextend itself. Things like the weapon upgrade system feel like meaningless busywork, while the addition of a hub world-style spaceship doesn’t bring much of interest.

the story

While most of the story is largely ignorable and told through a lore database, you’re still presented with a lot of exposition and cutscenes that outstay their welcome. There is definitely a sense that Doom Eternal wants to be a little more than it should be.

Doom Eternal’s combat is incredible, but I couldn’t play it for hours on end. I appreciate the attempt to break things up a bit. The problem is that I don’t really like much about Doom Eternal other than the seconds. I spend balletically blasting demons in a destroyed world that just so happens to be perfect for parkour.

Fortunately, those seconds make up the vast majority of the game. It is more entertaining than basically any other shooter out there today.

The Verdict

Doom Eternal isn’t quite as focused as its predecessor, and sometimes it gets bogged down in unnecessary additions. But they don’t compromise the core experience, which is as giddily indulgent as anything else you’ll play all year. 

Doom Eternal is a bigger, more ambitious version of Doom, and for the most part, that’s exactly as much fun as it sounds.

The post Doom Eternal | Review appeared first on GAMES INDIAN.

Doom Eternal | Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Jon Espino on The Young Folks: Interview: Trey Edward Shults, Kelvin Harrison Jr., and Taylor Russell talk about the complexities in ‘Waves’

Every decade or so, we get new media that only entertains us but educates us on the experiences of the next generation. Many times they highlight the new complexities and differences of their experience to ours, but they also remind us that while it may be put in a different context, at its core they are things we have also gone through. Trey Edward Shults delivers exactly that in his latest film, Waves, which explores not only how these experiences affect a family unit, but how race can also play into them.

We spoke with Trey Edward Shults, and actors Kelvin Harrison Jr. and Taylor Russell collaborating together, revisiting their teenage years, MySpace and the start of social media, and more.

Since your first film, Krisha, you’ve created films that explore different family dynamics. We revisit topics like addiction and overbearing fathers. What attracts you to these types of stories?

Trey Edward Shults: I just connect to a lot of them. Personal experiences and loved ones’ experiences, especially in these 3 movies [Krisha, It Comes at Night, Waves] because they weren’t made that far apart. They were probably all brewing in the brain at around the same time. Whether it’s conscious or not, I think I was still rustling with some certain things, and remain fascinated by them.

As the film starts, everything seems almost idyllic, nearly perfect, but as it goes on, we learn the true complexity of each character. What was it about your respective characters that drew you in?

Kelvin Harrison Jr.: For me it was seeing this boy who had so much love and respect for his dad and those around him, but he really didn’t know how to communicate that or know what to do with that information for himself. He starts trying to appease everyone in a way that ultimately strips him away from his own identity and his own voice. I wanted to show the humanity of a black boy where he doesn’t fall into the cliches, but who can make mistakes that also don’t define who they are. I also wanted to show how a family would have to grow because of the historical traumas that come from being a black family in America right now. It wasn’t just about the character but also the entire message of what we have to go through as African Americans. 

Taylor Russell: It’s really rare that you get characters like this for a young woman. I haven’t ever seen a script like this come across my lap, so it was a no-brainer to be a part of it. To see a story that is so nuanced, truthful, and authentic to the complexities of the black experience, which is so vast and so different for every person, made me admire how that was portrayed in this story. I liked how quiet she was, and how her strength was unconventional and unique. Even the storytelling style was perfect, how it was told in the two halves, was something that felt unique and that I had never seen before. I knew Trey’s work from Krisha. It was shot in such a beautiful way and unlike any other cinema. People were telling me that it was going to be quite close to Krisha, and I was like, “Oh my god, if it’s going to be like that then hell yes! Let’s do it!”

I like the way the film is split into two different perspectives. The first half focuses on the male experience, while the second half follows the aftermath and the female experience. Was it always your intention to split the film up this way?

TES: I think it was in the DNA way before even writing it. It functions in dichotomies, literally from highs and low, white and black, male and female, love and hate, and everything else in between. I liked the idea of the movie functioning in these dichotomies, but what it’s really about is the link and complexity of how we’re connected by the contrasts in our lives.

Although the film mostly focuses on the individual struggles and the family as a whole, there are a few moments in the film that talks exclusively to the black experience in America. What resources did you use to research this before incorporating it into the film? 

TES: Kelvin was such an invaluable resource, and he’s the reason that the story is about a black family. We met on our last film [It Comes at Night] and first started talking about Waves. I didn’t have it written yet, but I started talking about ideas of what I thought the movies was, and broad strokes about what I wanted it to be. Then, we were like, “We should do it together.”  When I was first writing it, we were texting a lot. Almost like little therapy sessions as we were learning about each other, learning about our commonalities and shared experiences with families, especially around the character’s age. Kel got a first draft, 8 months before we started shooting and then we kept building it further and further at that point. I let the actors kind ad-lib and make some changes to the scenes so that it would feel more natural and authentic. I felt like it was my job just to listen and understand and try to capture everything I could. 

So this was truly a collaborative process?

TES: Oh, absolutely.

KHJ: It was so easy because it really feels like the script and Trey’s version of it really understands the family. It was like the skeleton and the muscles, setting a strong foundation so that we can come in and be like, “Well, let’s put some brown skin here and a little blush and we’re good to go.”  I was never fearful of speaking up and being like, “Well this is how I feel and this is how I experienced this.” He would also respond with, “Well that makes sense and I understand that so now let’s shoot it that way.” To me, that’s beautiful.

While watching the film, it takes a turn partway through where it turns into a horror film. It feels almost nightmarish at a certain point.

TR: On the day of shooting those scenes, you could tell right away the tonal shift the movie was taking. It felt scary, and that day of filming was really intense too. Although a lot of that was in the script, it is still quite shocking when you see the final version. 

TES: I talked about this with Sterling [K. Brown] a lot too. For this family, the greatest tragedy has happened and a nightmare has come to life. It started with exploring how this would feel for this family and this situation, and from there it grew to adding the visuals and audio elements that would end up giving it more of a horror feel. 

One of the things that really helped push some of the more unnerving elements was the sound design and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ score. How did that come together?

TES: It just got super lucky. One day, I got an email from Trent and Atticus saying they were interested in working together. It was unbelievable. For sound design, I had Johnnie Burn and his whole team create that atmosphere and mood. 

I’m still haunted by the sounds of the ligaments and muscles tearing. It was almost like ASMR, but in the most stressful kind of way. 

TES: Johnnie had such an amazing foley team and I don’t even know how they got most of the sounds they used in the film. We played with that beyond just what would sound natural and tried out things that would be more subjective to the characters, like whenever Tyler would use his shoulder. 

KHJ: Oh, I was on the ground and I could definitely hear it and feel it.

Did you know how to wrestle or did you have to learn just for the role?

KHJ: Hell-to-the-no. I had to transform. I did 3 months of wrestling training. I did 3 days a week of CrossFit with wrestling twice a day. My wrestling coach Vlad is actually in the movie. He would tell me, “Kelly, get tough!”  It was a tough experience but ultimately great for the movie because I could feel free and authentic when playing the character. 

For some people, their teenage years are either the best or the worst. How did it feel revisiting that time for your characters, or even while developing this film together?

TR: I mean, we play teenagers a lot. I feel like I’m constantly in high school. Maybe I’ll finally graduate one day. One can only dream. I think I got a little bit longer because I have a babyface. This story though feels so transcendent beyond being a 16-year-old, it’s more about the human experience. In that way, it feels like it could be at any age. At the same time, it’s telling the story of teenagers and experiencing and feeling things for the first time. It was a fun thing to explore, but also a hard thing. 

KHJ: It was therapeutic for me. My parents saw it for the first time and they told me that that could really understand the relationships. That’s what the movie ends up being about: relationships. At the end of it, I was feeling like maybe I should call my mom and try to figure out how to communicate with her a little bit better. It transcends age in a lot of ways, but the specificity of the 2019 kid experience is fascinating to me. I remembering having MySpace growing up.  

I honestly still miss MySpace. It’s basically the only reason I have the limited HTML coding knowledge I have. I mainly miss that you could set specific songs on the page. 

KHJ: I don’t miss it at all. So many fights when you would set your top 5 or top 10. It was the beginning of proper social media drama, and I was just not interested in it. The intensity of that now with apps like Instagram and Snapchat is insane. 

TR: In the film, you see the role that social media plays after the major event happens. Just the way people comment and speak about it so realistic. Even the cussing in the movie feels real, like when Trey has the phone autocorrect “ducking” for the f-word. We all know about that and that feeling when you’re so mad that you just don’t even care that it typed that out because we all know what they’re trying to say. It just adds to the overall relatability and speaks to real experiences.  

from Jon Espino – The Young Folks https://ift.tt/2KVxHkE via IFTTT

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2XUzrQy via IFTTT

[tipsycad147]

5 Awesome Ways To Cast Spells Without Any Tools

Avery Hart

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my Disclaimer for more info.

Growing up was a little different in my family. We were nomadic for the majority of my childhood, moving every 6-8 months or so, hopping from place to place following my parents work. We changed cities and states so often I honestly can’t recall all of the places I’ve lived!

Of course, as a kid moving that much is hard. Leaving and re-making friends is tough, changing everything you know is scary and don’t even get me started on the kind of hiccups the nomad life can throw into a kids education! All of the craziness aside, I did have some really amazing experiences along the way. Unlike most people I’ve met, I was best friends with my brother, we were practically inseparable as kids. We would go on long family camping trips and disappear up into the mountains (my favourite part of any summer), my brother and I would have more fun on those trips pretending to be pirates with sticks for swords than we ever had at home.

That kind of improvisation was a staple for us growing up. When you move constantly you learn to strip down to the bare essentials, you don’t WANT a lot of stuff because you know that in 3 or 4 months you’re just going to have to pack it all up again and lug it with you to the next place. After years of moving you end up with fairly scant belongings and you get REALLY good improvising and learning to make do with what you have.

Now, as an adult, I’m still a pretty on-the-go kind of person. I’ve never gone more than a year without moving (old habits die hard) and even though I’ve made Austin my home base, I’m travelling more often than not these days. If my upbringing didn’t turn me into an expert minimalist, my adult life certainly has and that knack for making do with less has definitely influenced how I practice witchcraft.

If I collect every witchcraft related item that I own together it all fits into one small basket, with room to spare. More often than not my spells are whispered incantations, hastily drawn sigils, or entirely performed in my head. When I was younger I thought this meant I was just a bad witch because I never did “real” spells. What I didn’t realise back then was that I WAS doing real spells and I was doing them very well! I was managing to produce powerful magical results with no tools or ingredients and though it may not look as witchy without all of the tools and aesthetic, this kind of magic is about as traditional as it gets.

In pre-modern times, magic was performed with whatever was on hand. Witches in generations past couldn’t just hop online to get rare herbs or pop down to their local metaphysical shop. They had to use whatever they had! And if they didn’t have much at all available to them? Well, that wasn’t going to stop them from using magic. This kind of resourcefulness in magic should be a staple for all witches. There’s nothing wrong with having tools and herbs and pretty crystals for your magic but the absence of these things shouldn’t cripple your magic!

This kind of magic may seem difficult or above your skill level right now but I promise you can absolutely achieve excellent results in your own craft even without tools.

What Kinds Of Spells Can Be Done Without Tools?

Can you banish without tools? What about healing spells? Can you cleanse a room without using anything at all?

The answer is yes, pretty much across the board. If you can think up a spell it can probably be done without tools. It is important to consider your own tendencies and limitations though! Just because it can technically be done, doesn’t mean that it’s going to be the best way for you to do it. For example, I’m great at healing spells and protective enchantments but I find that in order to perform a banishing spell with real oomph, I need to use my tools.

Magic requires imagination and will, without a lot of practice in these disciplines it’s hard to manage all magic without tools. You’ll likely have success with some kinds of spells right off that bat and find other kinds of spells quite challenging without tools. This is something you’ll have to tinker and experiment with to figure out your personal preferences.

5 Ways To Cast Spells Without Any Tools

1. Sigils

Ok, so sigils technically require you to have something to write with and something to write on BUT you can find pens just about anywhere (the bank, your waitress, a friend, etc.) and if no paper is available you can always resort to scribbling them on your arms or receipts so I still think it counts.

Sigils are an amazing way to cast spells quickly and easily with very little fuss. As Frater U.D. puts it in Practical Sigil Magic, “The advantages of this method… are obvious. It is temptingly easy, and with only a little practice it may be performed at any time and at any place.”

Once you’ve designed a sigil you can keep the design and reuse it as many times as you need, many witches find that they end up with a repertoire of tried and true sigils that they either keep readily available to copy and use from their phones or from memory.

2. Written & Spoken Spells

Written and spoken spells are a favourite of mine. They’re quick, you can improvise them on the fly and there are so many ways to utilise them! A lot of people feel like incantations have to be long and they have to rhyme and while I do love a good rhyming incantation in my rituals you definitely DON’T have to rhyme to make your spells effective. Simply jotting down or whispering your intention can be incredibly effective.

Often when I’m casting a spell with just words I’ll craft my intention into a simple phrase and then I’ll simply repeat it over and over until the speaking becomes automatic and the words begin to lose their meaning.

You could also empower your words in conversation. Going to a job interview? Pull a little sweetening magic into your words. Talking with a friend about your dreams and goals? Add some intent behind your words so that your dreams will quicken into reality.

My main tip for this form of spellwork is to never phrase these spells in the negative. Because these spells are so freeform, it can be easy to get your messages mixed and if you focus on what you don’t want you might just get a whole lot more of the very thing you’re trying to get rid of. Instead, focus your words on what you DO want!

3. Imagination

Any kind of imaginative exercise can be turned into a spell and you don’t have to limit yourself to simple visualisation. I know plenty of witches who can’t or don’t like to visualise so if visualisation isn’t your thing, don’t sweat it! You could also imagine sounds, sensations, colours, concepts or anything else that you feel will bring about the result you desire.

When casting spells this way it’s always best to get as specific as possible. The more thought and effort you pour into your imaginative spell the more power you give it and the better the result will be.

4. Emotionally Driven Spells

This is the most common kind of “accidental” magic and the same kind of magic behind the evil eye! To use it, you harness the power of your emotions to bring your intent into being.

Obviously, there are a few caveats to this type of spellcasting, the first is that you have to be feeling some pretty strong emotions to make it work. If you want to cast a spell for happiness but you don’t feel happy you won’t get far. Likewise, if you’re trying to hex someone but you feel ambivalent about it, the spell will likely be a flop.

The second caveat is that this is a highly volatile type of magic, you won’t have quite as much control over the strength of the spell or how the results are achieved. If you’re not worried about the spell being overzealous or unpredictable then this is a great way to cast spells when you’re in the heat of the moment.

5. Enchanting

Enchanting is essentially just turning normal things into magical things. Anything can be enchanted for any purpose which makes this a highly versatile form of magic. There are many ways to do this but the simplest method is to program your item by channelling your intent into it and then charging the item when the spell is needed by feeding it energy from yourself or some other source.

Enchanting items works best if the item holds some relation in your mind to the intent you wish it to hold. A pen or pencil for sweetening words. A compact mirror for beauty. A compass for travel spells. The relation doesn’t have to be direct though. If you have personal associations that are perhaps stronger than traditional associations that an object might hold don’t be afraid to experiment.

You definitely don’t need a bunch of fancy tools, ingredients or gadgets to be a witch! You can practice magic any time, anywhere, regardless of what you have on hand. You just have to get creative!

Do you know how to enhance your magic, improve your intent, and get kick ass results from your spells all at once?

If you don’t, then you need to be utilising the amazing energy system inherent to the human magical system. Tapping into this energy system allows you to understand the magic you’re using on a far deeper level and achieve results that will blow your mind.

In The Witch’s Energy System, I’ll break down the entire system into easy to use pieces so that you can learn to see, feel, and make use of this energy in a way that will completely change how you view your own magic.

Learn More Here >>

https://thetravelingwitch.com/blog/2017/6/15/5-awesome-ways-to-cast-spells-without-any-tools

[gethealthy18-blog]

What’s the Deal With Coffee Enemas?

New Post has been published on https://healingawerness.com/news/whats-the-deal-with-coffee-enemas/

What’s the Deal With Coffee Enemas?

I’ve covered the topic of drinking coffee, and if it’s healthy or not, in this post, but there’s actually another way to benefit from coffee. Coffee enemas may sound scary and unsanitary, but they’re incredibly beneficial for many health issues. Here I cover what’s up with coffee enemas, potential risks, and how we can benefit from consuming coffee… from the other end!

How This Interesting Practice Came to Be

Enemas have been around for thousands of years. Ancient Egyptians detailed the protocol on ancient sheets of papyrus. (Imagine your job description being “nery phuyt”… or anus shepherd!) Hippocrates, known as the father of modern medicine, also strongly encouraged them. There are even mentions of enemas on the Dead Sea scrolls as a way to purify the body and soul.

Coffee enemas became a more widely popular practice starting in World War I. They were reportedly used for pain reduction during the war when meds were scarce. The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy even considered them as standard health care treatment until 1972.

Most recently, proponents of alternative medicine (from Goop to holistic psychologists) are turning their attention back to coffee enemas as a means of detoxification.

What Is a Coffee Enema?

Yes, it really is what it sounds like!

Coffee flows into the colon via the rectum and is then expelled in a bowel movement a few minutes later. The caffeine and antioxidants in the coffee have a highly effective, yet very safe, detoxing effect on the body that is hard to replicate with other methods.

Proven Benefits of Coffee Enemas

Sounds crazy, but coffee applied to your… ahem… underside can do all this:

Liver Detox

The number one reason people use coffee enemas is for detoxifying the liver. Herbs like milk thistle are helpful at clearing toxins from the liver. However, these released toxins can be reabsorbed in the colon if the gut microbiome is impaired in any way.

When a coffee enema is used, a special pathway of veins carries toxins straight from the colon to the liver to be processed. The liver is then triggered to release bile to flush the toxins out and back into the colon. The water from the enema softens the stool, and provides a clear pathway for the toxins to exit. This process lessens the toxic load the liver deals with and frees it to cleanse the blood and eliminate toxins in other body systems. Since toxicity plays a huge role in so many issues with the body, this process can be a powerful healing tool.

Improve Gallbladder Function

As mentioned above, liver function is closely tied to the gallbladder. When bile isn’t flowing properly, biliary ducts can become inflamed and blocked, leading to gallbladder attacks and, eventually, removal of the tiny organ. Toxins also recirculate through the body as they continue to build up in the bile, instead of being eliminated. Coffee enemas stimulate the liver to release more bile. Not only does this flush toxins from the body, but it releases gallstones and keeps the bile from stagnating.

Parasite Cleanse

Most of us have little hitchhikers stowed away in our gut and don’t even realize it. Little pockets in the colon, called diverticuli, are the perfect hiding places for these parasites.

Coffee enemas help to flush out years of impacted fecal matter and debris, rooting out parasites from their hiding spots. Coffee, not just flushing with liquid in general, may weaken and harm the parasites.

Candida Cleanse

Candida occurs naturally in the body. However stress, diets high in sugar, or antibiotics can cause it to grow out of control. Enemas work to restore balance to the digestive tract by eliminating harmful organisms, like excess candida. This clears the way for healthy probiotics in the gut to do their job. (However, it won’t be enough to restore gut balance if a problematic diet and lifestyle are unchanged.)

Toxic Mold

Mold spores in the air, and the microscopic mycotoxins they produce, can devastate the body’s health. Mycotoxins, from toxic mold, have been linked to certain cancers, organ failure, and other serious issues.

A major issue with mold toxicity is that the mycotoxins continue to accumulate in the bile. The toxins are constantly reabsorbed into the body, instead of eliminated. This stimulates bile flow, get it through the colon and out of the body to help flush these toxins. It’s helpful for those with debilitating illness due to mold, or anyone who’s had minimal exposure.

Cancer?

Cancer occurs when the body is under too much oxidative stress and toxic load. Coffee enemas are a requirement in the Gerson cancer therapy. This therapy began in the 1920s with Dr. Max Gerson seeking a cure for his migraines. Over the years, followers of Gerson have adapted his therapy to a three-pronged approach to help with cancer: a vegetarian diet, ingestion of supplements, and enemas. The antioxidants in coffee enemas support healthy cellular function, and eliminate toxins which put stress on the body.

Cancer is a complex thing and must be addressed at multiple levels though, not just with coffee enemas. Cancer Research UK warns that more research is needed before substantiating claims that Gerson cancer therapy is effective. All cancer therapies should be guided by a doctor’s advice.

Better Gut Health

Dr. Natasha Campbell McBride also recommends coffee enemas as part of the gut-healing GAPS protocol. The process flushes out bacteria, parasites, and fungus that impede gut healing. It also speeds up the detox and healing process needed for whole body wellness.

Lessen Die-Off Reactions

When the body releases toxins, it can overwhelm the system and we experience unpleasant die-off reactions. These can range from emotional issues (like irritability) to physical ones (like headaches and nausea). A coffee enema helps to quickly eliminate the released toxins from the body, to reduce or erase the die-off reactions, as part of a comprehensive cleansing protocol.

Clearer Skin

Our livers process hormones and waste in the body. When the liver becomes overburdened from all of the toxins in our diet and environment, the body tries to eliminate through a different route.

The skin is the largest organ of the body, and it picks up the slack for an overtaxed liver. Hives, psoriasis, eczema, rashes and itchy skin can all be caused by toxin excretion through the skin. A coffee enema clears the way for the liver to function properly, eliminating many skin issues.

Enema Concerns & Risks

Having looked at the benefits, we should also weigh the risks. According to a 2013 pharmacokinetic study, there are potentially negative side effects to consider when administering a coffee enema.

Forewarned is forearmed… possible situations to avoid are rectal burn, proctocolitis, and electrolyte imbalance.

Rectal Burn

To prevent rectal burn, you should allow the coffee to achieve room temperature before you administer it. Test the coffee like you would formula to see if it’s too hot.

Proctocolitis

The Mayo Clinic defines proctocolitis as the inflammation of the rectum’s lining. There was one case, in Korea, in which a coffee enema resulted in proctocolitis. The patient recovered through the use of antibiotics, intravenous fluids, and bowel rest.

Electrolyte Imbalance

Sadly, there have been two documented deaths associated with daily coffee enemas. These were the result of severe electrolyte imbalance. Because coffee enemas help remove toxic metals, they can also strip some nutrient minerals from your body. To stay safe, consult with a health practitioner before you begin the regimen. You may also want to check out this recipe for a natural electrolyte sports drink.

Who Should Not Use Coffee Enemas?

Even though coffee enemas are gentle and beneficial, there are a few groups who advised against them. Pregnant moms and children younger than five can use other enemas, like salt water, but are advised against coffee enemas. Breastfeeding moms may want to exercise caution here, too.

Those with severe bowel dysfunction, like Crohn’s disease, should take special precautions with coffee enemas. Similarly, those with hypertension, ulcerative colitis, renal/heart/respiratory failure, and those who are currently undergoing chemotherapy should exercise caution and consult with a health practitioner before beginning a regime of coffee enemas. As always, consult with your doctor to determine if coffee enemas should be an option for you.

Frequency

This depends on the issue being addressed. Almost everyone can benefit from a coffee enema once in a while. For those with acute toxicity, like cancer patients, or those experiencing gallbladder attacks, coffee enemas can be done four times a day. This helps to quickly eliminate the toxins that may be causing the issue.

For those on a detox protocol, once a day is usually sufficient. Many people continue coffee enemas long term, transitioning to once a week or as needed for maintenance. It’s best to do an enema after a bowel movement and not right after eating. A full stomach and colon aren’t just uncomfortable, but impede the process.

Ask your doctor for specific advice (or use mine!) if you are wondering whether enemas are right for you and how often to use them.

How to Do a Coffee Enema

I can’t speak to this part personally, but here are some resources with details on exactly how to do a coffee enema, and what supplies are necessary. If I ever work up the courage to try it, I will be sure to share my honest review (while hopefully sparing you too many gory details!)

Could you benefit from a coffee enema? Is it something you’re willing to try or have already done? Let me know about your experience!

Sources:

Bakker, E., N.D. (2018, April 23). Enema solution for candida: How enema can help get rid of your candida. Retrieved from https://www.yeastinfection.org/enema-solution-for-candida-how-enema-can-help-get-rid-of-your-candida/

Ben Greenfield Fitness. (2019, March 12). Kion coffee enema. Retrieved from https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/article/digestion-articles/kion-coffee-enema/

Bora, K., M.D., Yoon, J., M.D., Park, S., M.D., Seo, Y., M.D., Kim, Y., M.D., Chun, H., M.D., . . . Ryu, H., M.D. (2010, January). Proctocolitis caused by coffee enemas : American journal of gastroenterology. Retrieved from https://journals.lww.com/ajg/Citation/2010/01000/Proctocolitis_Caused_by_Coffee_Enemas.48.aspx

Cancer Research UK. (2019, April 05). Gerson therapy. Retrieved from https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancer-in-general/treatment/complementary-alternative-therapies/individual-therapies/gerson

Davidson, J., M.D. (2016, June 3). Coffee enema: The detox and bile flow superstar. Retrieved from https://drjaydavidson.com/coffee-enema-missing-links/

Environmental Protection Agency. (2018, October 24). Ten things you should know about mold. Retrieved from https://www.epa.gov/mold/ten-things-you-should-know-about-mold

Gut and Psychology Syndrome. (n.d.). Frequently Asked Questions. Retrieved from http://www.gaps.me/faqs.php

Gutsy. (2017, September 18). The ultimate liver detox: Coffee enemas. Retrieved from http://www.mygutsy.com/the-ultimate-liver-detox-coffee-enemas/

Issacs, L. L., M.D. (2013, May 13). Coffee enemas: Helping the body detoxify. Retrieved from https://beatcancer.org/blog-posts/coffee-enemas-helping-the-body-detoxify

Kim, E. S., Chun, H. J., Keum, B., Seo, Y. S., Jeen, Y. T., Lee, H. S., . . . Ryu, H. S. (2014, July 29). Coffee enema for preparation for small bowel video capsule endoscopy: A pilot study. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4135241/

Pope, S. (2019, May 15). Do coffee enemas harm gut flora? Retrieved from https://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/coffee-enemas-and-gut-flora/

PureLife. (n.d.). Acne? Try a coffee enema! Retrieved from https://www.purelifeenema.com/acne-try-a-coffee-enema/

Teekachunhatean, S., Tosri, N., Rojanasthien, N., Srichairatanakool, S., & Sangdee, C. (2013, March 4). Pharmacokinetics of caffeine following a single administration of coffee enema versus oral coffee consumption in healthy male subjects. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3603218/

The Gerson Institute. (2019, April 10). Coffee enema – 8 things you need to know. Retrieved from https://gerson.org/gerpress/coffee-enema-8-things-you-need-to-know/

UBiome. (2016, February 22). The 800-pound enema syringe, curious Ancient Egyptian job titles, and a pretty strange place to put your pipe. Retrieved from https://ubiome.com/blog/post/the-800-pound-enema-syringe-curious-ancient-egyptian-job-titles-and-a-pretty-strange-place-to-put-your-pipe/

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/414785/coffee-enemas/

[elizabethcariasa]

BABY FEEDING TIPS: BABY CEREAL, PUREE, AND BABY LED WEANING

I can not believe Otis is already 9 months!! Over the past few months, we have been experimenting with all different ways of feeding Otis. It’s a question I get often and I am excited to be sharing what we did and what we are currently doing with Otis. Keep in mind, what works for him might not work for other babies but happy to share our experience with you all. We tried a combination if a few different methods and techniques and I think it’s help to make him the happy and adventurous eater he is.

WHEN TO START SOLIDS

At our 4 month pediatrician appointment, our doctor suggested we could start introducing baby cereal or baby oatmeal. Otis head and neck strength were strong so it was a great time to introduce his first non-milk foods. Our pediatrician gave us a sample of this oatmeal single grain cereal. Each babies timeline can be different for starting solids. Ask your pediatrician what they think and always trust your mama gut.

STEP 1: BABY CEREAL

We started Otis on his first cereal at 4.5 months. We really didn’t know what to expect but we were excited to try something new with him. We first got all our supplies together for feeding.

–Gerber DHA & Probiotic Oatmeal Baby Cereal

–Fisher-Price Sit-Me-Up Floor Seat: This seat is EPIC. We used this so much when Otis was first starting to sit up. We used it to feed him as well as a hang out chair. What I love is that it folds up flat so it’s both easy to store and to pack up in the car to bring with us anywhere.

–beaba spoon: These spoons are made of a super soft silicone so they are very gentle on Otis’ gums. We loved using these.

–copper pearl bibs: By far my favorite fabric bibs. We typically use these for drool but when Otis was eating cereal we used these. They also have the best patterns and prints.

Since I had pumped breast milk in my freezer, we used that as the liquid to mix in with the cereal. At first, we only mixed a little bit in so that the consistency was still pretty liquidy to get him acquainted with a little bit of texture in the milk. Otis was pretty into oatmeal from the start which was very exciting. Total foodie right here!! Of course a lot of it comes out of their mouth, and its messy but it’s a great way to experience these first textures. Our pediatrician recommended we try this later in the day as the drive to eat is higher so we started 1x a day in the early evening, and eventually 2x a day. We weren’t super strict with the schedule of it as some days he would be more interested than others. Each few days we would add a little bit more cereal to the mix to increase the texture. I don’t have any exact measurements as we just eyeballed it. We just continued to follow Otis’ lead as he was able to tolerate the added texture. When we felt confident in his ability to eat more textured cereal, we decided it was time to start the real fun; purees.

STEP 2: PUREE FOODS (HOME MADE, POUCHES, FOOD DELIVERY AND MORE)

We started puree foods at 5 months. After successful eating cereal for a few weeks, we decided he was ready to move on to pureed food. The supplies we used are below:

–stokke tripp trapp high chair: While this high chair is VERY pricey, I can not say enough good things about it. It very securely fit Otis from an early age. I have loved the padded insert and the adjustable foot rest is great. The whole chair is highly adjustable and I can easily take the tray off to clean it in the sink. I also love that it fits in with our home decor. That is always a huge bonus when it comes to baby gear!

–bumkins bibs: These are by far my favorite bibs. They are easy to wipe down and rinse off in the sink and you can throw them in the washing machine. With messy foods, it’s essential to have a great bib so the food is on the bib… and not the baby.

–beaba babycook baby food maker: We LOVE this kitchen tool. If you have the counter space, I highly suggest getting the dual capacity one here. If you plan on making your own baby food, I have loved using this.

–beaba silicone food cup tray: We use this silicone tray to freeze the food we make for Otis.

–beaba food storage container: We use these containers to store baby food we make for Otis but could also use it to store and tote snacks in the diaper bag.

–beaba babycook book: This book came in handy making purees for Otis. It also gave us ideas when we wanted to mix ingredients and make sure we were using the right proportions.

–instant pot: We use the instant pot all the time for our adult dinners but to make bigger batches of baby food this has been an amazing tool! Especially since it can steam and cook everything very quickly. This is great because its a tool we already had in our kitchen and are able to use it to make Otis’ foods.

–kitchenaid pro line series blender: When we use the instant pot to make Otis’ food, we use this blender to puree everything. It’s very powerful and we are able to get the texture we want very easily. It also allows us to puree warm foods that have just been cooked. This is great because its a tool we already had in our kitchen.

We decided to make our own puree since we love to cook and it was not a very difficult process at first when they aren’t eating very much to begin with. Our strategy was to try 1 food for a few days to make sure he didn’t have an allergic/adverse reaction to it and then move onto a new food. This was all info given to us from our pediatrician. We decided to start with a sweet food so our first food was sweet potato. We used the Beaba babycook which has been a great tool for purees. What makes it great is you can both steam and puree the food in one machine so it just makes your life easier. This was perfect for doing all our single food purees. We also used this book to help with our proportions and also later on when mixing different ingredients for purees. We made sure to keep the puree nice and smooth for his first experience. We started new foods at night when he would be the most hungry and tried to be consistent about doing foods 2x-3x a day. We tried a food for 1-3 days and then would move onto the next food. When making new foods, we always made sure to make extra to keep some in the fridge and to freeze some. This way, we could continue to add new foods, and keep rotating in foods he had already eaten.

As far as larger portions, when we wanted to make huge batches we used our instant pot to steam veggies and then our kitchenaid blender to puree it. If you have the time it can be a fun process to make your own foods but it takes time and work and we don’t always have that luxury. So we started to test out different premade options to see what Otis liked and to make things easier when we were out of the house or traveling for the weekend. I have to be honest that Otis has not been very picky and has eaten almost everything we have fed him. We can see things he really LOVES opposed to things he is more lukewarm about but one thing is clear: Otis LOVES to eat. Below are some brands I have loved and tried below:

–Plum Organics: Great option for on the go since it’s not-refrigerated and easy to stow in the diaper bag. I can also easily pick it up at the grocery story or at target.

–Happy Baby Organics: Great option for on the go since it’s not-refrigerated and easy to stow in the diaper bag. I can also easily pick it up at the grocery story or at target.

–Once Upon a Farm: This is a cold pressed pouch so it does have to be refrigerated but what is great is it can stay out of the fridge for up to 4 hours and you can re-refrigerate once opens for 72 hours. This was great because Otis doesn’t always finish a pouch if he is not very hungry so was nice to not waste anything.

–Tiny Human Food: This was a great option when we were starting solids. These packages are easy to use with a spoon and small portions.

–Yumi: This was one of my favorite delivers to test out more exotic flavors. Since I have alot of food allergies there are alot of things that I don’t cook and enjoy myself. So this delivery service was great to get Otis testing out more exotic fruits, grains and other items. This was also the most textured of all the premade foods we tried.

STEP 3: BABY LED WEANING

We started doing Baby Led Weaning with Otis at about 6 months. I had never heard about this method of feeding so this was new territory for all of us. Baby Led Weaning, or BLW, is a baby self feeding technique that allows babies to discover and experience food themselves. After reading about it and talking to some mom friends, I knew I would love to try a combo of doing purees and Baby Led Weaning for Otis. Otis was starting to get VERY interested in the things we were eating at the dinner table. Eyeing us down and wanting to join in on the action. Since this was a pretty foreign and scary idea for us to start, I found an amazing resource online called, Feeding Littles. It’s an online course that I bought that teaches you how to tackle BLW through a video course. This course was so amazing!! I think I watched all the videos in one day because I wanted to jump in as soon as possible. We also used this book that helped us with more visuals and ideas for foods to try based on Otis’ age etc. The course gave us the confidence to get started.

To give you an overview, you serve baby soft foods about the size and width of your pinky and allow them to pick it up and put it in their mouth. You make sure that it’s soft enough to squish with your fingers this way when they gum at the food, they are able to chew it and swallow easily while they are learning the textural differences. They have a less precise grasp on food this young so the larger strips of food make it easier for them to self feed themselves.

The scary thing about BLW is that since baby is learning, there is going to be gagging involved and there is always a risk for choking. But what is really cool is that babies have a gag reflex that is more forward in their mouth. This means when they stick that long piece of avocado in their mouth, and if they break off a pieces that too big, the gag reflex will be initiated and they will then salivate and spit the large piece back out.

The first food we introduced Otis to was avocado. I WAS SCARED SHITLESS giving him those first pieces of food. The anxiety was high but it’s truly amazing how quickly they learn. The gagging stopped relatively quickly for Otis once he got a hang of it. We did our best to make sure to be very positive, smiling and encouraging so that the food experiences were happy. We did a lot of positive encouragement and told Otis to chew as we demonstrated for him also. Never underestimate the power of a positive demeanor and attitude as it rubs off on the little ones and can affect their experience.

I will say BLW is VERY messy. You go through alot more food than they are actually eating since they are playing and experimenting with it. Alot ends up smashed in their hands, on they tray, and on the floor. But that is ok! It’s about creating a positive experience with food, and allowing them to explore it on their own terms. With a little guidance from us of course. Blake and I took a CPR course where we reviewed choking protocols as well which I hope to never have to use any of the things I learned there.

Otis has shown such interest in food and the BLW has been such a positive experience for us. We also used a fruit feeder to let him experiment with fruit when we just started BLW. It’s also around this time we introduced puff snacks and yogurt melts to Otis (linked his favorites below in the snack section). Since his grasp was getting better by the day, we introduced these melting snacks as something to give him while we prepped his food. If you try them yourself, you can see how quickly they dissolve in your mouth so these are a fun thing to try out. I keep them in our diaper bag so we always have snacks with us for our little food monster. While BLW can seem super intimidating, I am SO happy that we tried this out early as well. I really think it has alot to do with how great an eater he is now and it’s made traveling great now that he basically eats whatever we eat.

CLEAN UP TIPS

Feeding a baby is a messy process. Their hands get so dirty and sticky depending on what they are eating and it can be a real pain to get them clean. One trick I have found that gets the job done well is bringing over a little bowl of lukewarm water. I hold the bowl down with one hand (DEATH GRIP HOLD IT DOWN SO BABY DOESN’T SPILL IT) and then with my other hand I take his dirty hand and place in the water bowl and clean it. It’s pretty effective and becomes a fun little routine part of meals. I then dry his hands with a dish towel. I used to use silicone mats and bowls but the reality is that Otis finds a way to pick them up and then throw them on the ground. Hopefully I can use them when he is a little older to make clean up a little easier in the sink. So I usually just use the tray on the high chair. I usually only have to wipe it down but if hes eating something that has the potential to really stain like a red tomato sauce, I will remove the tray and wash it in the sink. My favorite bibs have also been these. They are easy to rinse off in the sink and machine washable. Which comes in handy when things get wild messy around here.

INTRODUCING ALLERGENS

We introduced the allergens early as our pediatrician said the earlier the better. Exposure is key at an early age so we wanted to get the ball rolling on testing out different allergens. My pediatrician said the biggest things to look for were rash, including diaper rash, upset stomach, spitting up etc. We decided to start with eggs. I made an omelet and then cut the egg into strips for him so it would be easy to grab. Eggs were a BIG hit and they are so easy to make quickly in the morning. I wanted to try peanut next. We put a thin layer of peanut butter on a lightly toasted piece of toast and cut it into strips for him to try. Was the sweetest thing watching him both chew the bread and suck the peanut butter off. Otis is lucky to not have any reactions to the allergen foods so we continue to feed them to him. Again have a chat with your pediatrician on the best strategies for your baby.

INTRODUCING WATER CUP/BOTTLE

Our pediatrician recommended introducing some water once Otis started eating solids. No more than 1-2 oz of water a day. It’s mostly just to wash down food and get them acquainted with it. Luckily part of the BLW course we took included a whole section on cup training. They also have this handy blog post here. We started with this adorable mini cup to help Otis learn to take sips. We would basically show him how to do it ourselves. Then we would hold the cup and allow him to pull it towards him and take a sip for 1-2 seconds and remove the cup. We would be holding the cup the whole time. Of course he did spill alot. That was to be expected. Once he got a hang of that, we would let him try to do it himself. It’s truly shocking how quickly babies can learn these new skills.

We then wanted to teach Otis to use a straw. With this cup, we would put the straw in his mouth and gently squeeze the bottle to help show him to suck. In 2 tries he got it! We then transitioned to this straw cup that we still use today. It makes going out to restaurants great since he can get a kids cups of water.

We also recently taught him to use the miracle 360 cup. You can drink from any part of the rim of the cup by pursing your lips and sucking but it’s amazing because it doesn’t spill when dropped. Hence, the miracle.

We always offer water during meals, on a flight, or on super hot days when he might need some more hydration. Below are all the tools we used for this:

Ezpz tiny cup: This cup is great because it’s nice and small and easy for baby to grip and its weighted.

Straw training cup (talktools honey bear drinking cup): It’s a little pricey for something I only used 2x but in my opinion it’s so worth it since it taught Otis how to use a straw so quickly.

Take & Toss Spill-proof Straw Cup: These are super affordable and dishwasher safe

Munchkin Miracle 360 Cup: This cup is epic. Doesn’t spill when tipped over.

SNACKS

A few of Otis’ fav snacks to enjoy at meals or between meals.

–Happy Puffs: These are a staple in our house. I always have more than 1 container as backup. I have also been using this snack container to let Otis serve himself and make him work a little harder.

–Gerber Fruit and Veggie Melts and Gerber Yogurt Melts: Both of these are great melting options that I keep in my diaper bag or give Otis while I prep his meal to keep him busy.

EATING OUT

It might seem daunting to feed a baby while you are out to a restaurant but it’s actually pretty easy. On the go when we first started puree food it was easy to heat the food up and pack it in a little container with us. Once we discovered pouches, we would bring them with a spoon and bib to the restaurant and it was pretty easy to spoon feed him at the table. Otis has always been on the smaller size for height and weight so when first going out to eat, we would bring our own travel highchair. This highchair was great because you can easily attach it to any table top and it straps him in really securely. We even use this one if we go to a friends house and currently have it attached to our kitchen island as another seat for him if we are cooking etc.

Once he started self feeding, he was also bigger and was able to finally sit in a restaurant high chair. Such a game changer to either share our meal or order some food for him. We either feed him from our own meals, order kids meals, or order sides that we know he would like. Since we did the cup training we also order him a cup of water with a straw for the table as well. I make sure to carry wipes with me in the diaper bag so I can easy wipe Otis’ face and hands if he makes a mess.

–inglesina fast table chair portable highchair: This highchair installs super easily. We bring it over to friends houses and also use this tray attachment to contain the mess.

Hope you guys love this post! If I think of anything else to add I will be sure to update the original post in the future. If you have any additional questions on what we did with Otis, I am happy to share if you leave me a question in the comments below.

The post BABY FEEDING TIPS: BABY CEREAL, PUREE, AND BABY LED WEANING appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.