#and it'll be my fault for not knowing better
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cinnamon-stixs · 3 days ago
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Sinsmas came out, and I bawled. here's me yapping about it.
-Blitz put horses EVERYWHERE to try and make Stolas happy
-Stolas was asking for his antidepressants. keep in mind he goes this whole episode, which takes place over the course of a month, completely unmedicated.
-Blitz asking what he eats :(. Then Stolas's rich ass.
-Stella fucking GRAB'S VIAS PHONE. GOD I WANT TO KILL THAT BITCH. THEY SIT THEIR AND LAUGH ABOUT HIM WANTING TO TALK TO HIS DAUGHTER IT MAKES ME SO. FUCKING. ANGRY.
-Imps still hate Stolas. Also bro has NO life skills whatsoever
-She straight up spits in his coffee, no remorse. Queen honestly.
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-New fit!! this is so much better than that dumbass romper
-Blitz catching rats for him :((
-"No, this is how I act when I don't have money! :D"
-I absolutely adore the concept of sinsmas btw. Also, notice how both Moxxie and Blitz act on wrath, rather than greed (where they were both raised). Interesting lil detail
-Of course Blitz would set the apartment on fire
-Loona acting like me fr
-Millie and Moxxie fighting heheheee
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-He's so concerned lmaooo??
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-Whiteboard! My fave is the 'days since moxie sang' counter.
-Loona's opened up so much I love her QmQ
-"I'm poor now!" I love you Stolas but holy shit you privileged ass baby.. At least yall can afford to feed everyone in your house
-God Blitz is so in love
-Stolas is GOING THROUGH IT with these parallels
-Blitz trying to defend cheating 💀💀
-Homophobic cunt
-Mammon tree topper
-They're STILL laughing about Stolas trying to call Via. Have they kept her phone from her this whole time?
-She didn't hear them say he'd been trying to call. She took her earbuds out AFTERWARDS. As far as Via knows, he only called once.
-Stolas was the one who got her the guitar
-Via's song goes so hard, but what happened to her accent??
-The parallels in Via's song and the one Stolas sang to her in ep 2 make me wanna cry
-Btw Via is COMPLETELY justified in how she feels, and her decision to not forgive Stolas.
-"I'll just get older and you'll only know my name" Holy fuck that line goes hard
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-I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA ATTEMPT.
-"Well here's an idea, You could shut the fuck up!"
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-Me I fear
-She sits down with stolas's diary I can't
-I thought the bit of her throwing up as weird as hell. But, foreshadowinggg
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-What if this was my 13th reason.
-"Didn't make me wet AT ALL"
-The scream as she flies out the window is delightful
-Blitz immediately knows stolas went to look for Via
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-GET HIS ASS
-"Get your icy hands off my bottom, bitch!"
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-Dude what the hell did he say?!
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-GET. HIS. ASS!!
-"fuck yes! :D"
-Loona and Moxxie working together :(((
-This action scene is so fucking cool
-"High five!!" DUMBASS?!
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-Im gonna kms they're so cute
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-VIA!
-She doesn't hug her father back.
-She thought him needing the antidepressants was her fault I'm actually gonna do it this time.
-Although Via won't talk to Stolas, she still saved him. She loves her dad, but she's rightfully angry. It'll take time to rebuild that trust.
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-FUCK.
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-Blitz relaxes. Stolas doesn't.
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-God what a cutie
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-MOXXIES FACE HSDHSJHDJSIJ
-I knew immediately in the bathroom scene what was up with Millie
-Im really excited to see the pregnant millie plotline actually. Judging by her reaction, she's not sure if she wants to keep it.
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-STOLAS'S SOFT LITTLE LAUGH AUGH IM CRYING
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-He doesn't hug Blitz back.
-Xmas song at the end goes hard.
Overall, this episode was AMAZING. The writing was great, the emotional moments hit hard, the animation was great as usual, and the pacing was good, if not a bit clunky. What a great end to the season.
I think i'll go call my dad.
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microcosmiclymbic · 2 years ago
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What do you do when you're too toxic for friends but you're supposed to heal in community?
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running-in-the-dark · 11 months ago
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hm. well now instead of being helpful I'm just sitting in a chair, so dizzy and nauseous that I can't get up 😬 while everyone else is moving boxes and everything. I can't even pack rn.
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ilkkawhat · 3 months ago
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Heya! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
well, i didn't cry today (and more importantly didn't cry at work in front of everybody) so I'm taking that as a sign that things are getting better...I hope 😅
#suuuuuuuuuuper awkward moment when i just started crying yesterday as one of my employees came up to me#(not one of the ones who went to HR)#and she was like 'uhm are you okay' and then i just told her to ask me what she needed to ask me lmao#god i'm just so embarassed that i cried so much this week#esp cause like. i hope it's not some sort of idk defense mechanism?#like did i just start busting out crying cause oh no my boss found out i'm not doing my job so i'm just gonna cry so she doesn't yell at me#or something like that and then keep crying to garner pity#cause that's certainly not my intention at all#i know i fucked up. badly. i'm not donig the job i SHOULD be doing#and was focusing on things i shouldn't focus on...especially like having my techs do their actual jobs#but that's my fault for not laying down the law#for not training them right in the first place for not giving them the proper expectations of what their job entails#but then they're crying that they're overwhelmed which hurts to hear when i see them disappearing just to come back with a cup of coffee#or talking to people across the building when there's no reason for them to be up there#or sitting on their phones while things pile up to be done#and then like my boss is now jumping in and is going to meet with them next week#and inserting herself and two of my other co-workers into the picture to help#which like yeah i need help. a lot of help. but they all have their own jobs#hell there's things my boss does really i should probably be doing#so knowing all of that and again just feeling like a failure at my job makes me feel even worse#like i'm not carrying my weight for the team--i've honestly never felt i have since i became supervisor#i don't think i'm meeting the expectations as a supervisor#as a tech? yeah i was a BEAST and maybe should have never applied for the supervisor job#and i even already told my boss long term career? def not in management for me lol and if i can get out of the supervisor job i will#but i would still want to stay with my boss and co-workers cause we're all trauam bondeded at this point from this workplace#but hey if the worst thing that comes out of this crisis is me getting fired for not doing my job maybe it'll be for the best#..........that's not making me feel any better though
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roxannes-love-letters · 1 year ago
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*slides into your askbox* cowboy au?👀 I'd loveee to hear some of your thoughts🙈
Please don't do this to me I already have three wips I can't deal with more 🙈
BUT. Porchay and Kim.
The Theerapanyakun deal smuggled alcohol in the Wild West -not surprisingly, they are enemies with lots of other smugglers, it's a dangerous job. Porsche starts working for them to support Chay, but falls in love with Kinn, they marry. Chay falls in love with Kim, and in canon fashion, he confesses his love, but Kim is worried about his safety, so he cruelly refuses him.
Chay is heartbroken, but decides to go on with his life and starts sending letters with a girl on the other side of Texas. Porsche suggests Chay go visit (read: marry) her, problem is, no one can make the journey with him. And, of course, the Wild West is a dangerous place, he can't go alone. Who's the only person who can go with him? Kim.
Cue to Kim and Porchay traveling through the desert together, huddling together in the cold nights, fending bandits, bathing together in a river, making love tenderly under the starry Texas night, cough, you name it. Through that, Porchay keeps trying to convince himself that he doesn't love Kim anymore. Kim, on the other hand, has given up on trying to not love Porchay, and is hellbent on trying to get Porchay to marry the girl, so that he can be happy and safe, away from the dangers of being close to a Theerapanyakun. Kim is so in love with Porchay it's a bit pathetic, and he knows that Porchay staying with the girl will break his heart irremediably, but it's a price he's willing to pay for Porchay's happiness. (forced proximity, ungodly amounts of pining, Kim being sooo whipped for Chay you have no idea, but having to do so in silence because he'd rather lose an arm than tell Chay that he'll kill and die for him so his solution is just to. kill and die for Chay. Without telling him.)
I really really really shouldn't write this but the mental image of Kim taking off Porchay's hat so he can kiss him under the Texan dawn is a siren's song and I am but a humble sailor too close to the water for comfort.
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strawberrycamel · 1 year ago
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hguh <- considering making a sideblog for a one piece bending au i have 1) come up with today, 2) want to share art/fic for that i haven't even made yet, 3) keep making more and more notes for to the point my hand is having the very rare yet very annoying occurrence of Cramps, 4) been assailed with so many domestic and gag ideas and a handful of really unoriginal fight scenes, and 5) as i'm typing this i'm realizing none of these are reasons not to make a sideblog and yet i am still paralyzed by the very likely fact that i will not want to bother with this whole idea tomorrow when the coffee has finally filtered fully out of my system and will have to do the proverbial walk of shame that is deleting the sideblog i made less than 24 hours prior
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stankhead · 2 years ago
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was daydreaming about an avatar prequel series (between the events of Avatar Wan and the events of atla) and accidentally created a three season arc thats really fucking good and now I'm going insane because it'll never exist why did I do this to myself ..
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revenantghost · 1 year ago
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I was planning on hopefully finishing up or getting close to finishing up drafting Hallowboned this week to get working on my VW bang fic and other deadline stuff without it hanging over me, but no, I can hardly even think straight and I’m angy ):< Yeet bodies, I hate corporeal forms
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altruistic-meme · 2 years ago
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currently feeling very djajfjjsjfjjs grrrrr at my apartment people >:(
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somelazyassartist · 2 years ago
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globodamorte · 5 days ago
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I'm really scared my dad will hurt my cat (the devious pisser) for pissing
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inmirova · 3 months ago
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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
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ilovemylawyer · 3 months ago
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finally got around to watching tazza (2006) and it sparked an evilive related inquiry in my mind...
you know in ep3 how ohjae holds his mic in a lil funny upright style?
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well peep this gamblingrelated gangster's eerily similar pose in tazza (2006)
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so my question is: is ohjae's stance a reference to this? is it a coincidence? is it referencing something even older that i haven't gotten to yet? are these two going up against each other in a 1v1 rap battle?
#ilml#relatedly there was a character in this with the same nickname i had already given one of the OCs in my current wip...#which is actually pretty cool#i wish dongsoo actually gambled in evilive#well no i don't but i just want to see him lose everything in each and every possible way#he's better as a mastermind but god do i want to put him on the casino cruise ship for extended periods of time#unrelatedly. one of the guys that i work with (IRL AT MY IRL JOB) went on a cruise recently and he was telling me about it..#it was his first ever cruise and he had a blast and he's already planning to go again because he enjoyed it so much#what exactly did he enjoy? the casino on the ship... yup... yupppp......... thats right..... casino cruise ship reality..........#but seriously re: these micboys... no way its a coincidence... right?#and also also re: my current wip... wading through ~17k of unedited/incomplete slop of it right now#it WILL take me a LONG time to finish. but i have basically every beat planned out (LIE) so it won't be too HARD it'll just take forever...#i have MOST of it planned but with the way i write new things pop up as i go... so... yeah... who knows...#itll be so fucking long lol its gonna be a pain in the ass.#i wish so badly i could share with you my funny plans and awesome snippets but alas... you must wait...#and i must also wait...#its so hard writing alone T_T#everything i have written for the past 5 years i have had a sort of writing partner to help survive the painstaking passion of storytelling#but in the case of evilive i am ALL ALONE and i drive myself fucking CRAZY in my docs alllll alone oh goodness all alone...#its my fault tho i should chat more on here but MY FEAR OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.. it is strong.. overwhelming.. very difficult to overcome#ok that is all. do you think ohjae's pose is a tazza reference OR do you think i am WRONG?#bye bye i love you! see you later!
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eevyerndracaneon · 5 months ago
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My brother is turning 38 in October and still lives with his in-laws. His partner is 40. His in-laws have dementia and constantly berate the both of them. There’s no shame in having to live like that, as tough as it is. It truly sucks to live in such a socioeconomic state.
Ultimately I know there's no shame in living under the roof of someone else well into my adulthood
It really is just the judgement from the people who own the place that makes me feel sickest, my mental health isn't the most stable in an environment like this and I'm constantly putting off my own health bc of extreme anxiety regarding judgement
I genuinely want to leave. I want to have a place of my own. But with the housing crisis and the fact that nobody seems to want to hire me for consistent paying work I feel so stuck
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
#i was like huh whats that noise. bc i can normally NEVER hear anything over my headphones but it was the rain fucking shattering it down#my bed is WET the window was only open a few inches 😭#anyway had no signal at work again today smfh. but at least they let me on the bus free on the way there this morning#still a bit wobbly im in the baby deer phase of post major depressive episode#roommate asked how i was doing when she got home and i very very nearly started crying but i didnt i was so brave#my insane insecurity and anger swings post rsd episode have mostly faded too thank fuck. only took 4 days which is pretty good for me#but im still so so tired it takes everything out of me...#when im recovered + can talk abt it without making myself upset again im promising myself i will talk to her abt the rsd if nothing else#but i really really dont want to make her feel bad abt it at all its genuinely not anyones fault. but its important to me that i say smth#just so we can avoid it happening again where possible bc it does really suck so bad. for everyone im sure but mostly me here#and i would like to be able to care abt ppl and have close friends without risking my entire mental (+ physical..) wellbeing 😭#i think if im still struggling w mood once my meds stabilise i might ask if there are options to help w that too#like i think ive gone as far as i can w therapeutic techniques rn. its just too overwhelmingly intense and reflexive for me to apply that#and i dont feel like i live my life around it or in fear of it anymore like generally i have been a lot better#but when im vulnerable and it DOES strike i have no defense against it whatsoever and it can tank everything for weeks#its just high stakes. and it'll help to make sure ppl know abt it and might be able to support etc but it would be nice to never worry abt#so worth trying meds for it maybe. i just dont rly wanna have the conversations w medical ppl in order to get it in the first place#like i wouldnt feel safe telling a doctor abt it bc the idea of someone with that authority having power over me is terrifying#ah well this isnt a problem for right now. plus stimulants might help me w it anyway once im finished titrating so we'll see#got so distracted typing this i forgot what i was gonna do.... i need to check my planner#and then ill probably read and go to sleep early i think zzzzz#ahhh.. and the birds are singing outside now the rain has stopped :-)#.diaries
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mrfoox · 10 months ago
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Me, barely clinging on mentally: no I am, OK haha, it's not so bad you know? Yeah I'm fine
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