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hauntedbyeverythingatonce · 2 years

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one: the story

09.10.2022, sunday

i live for the narrative.

i have been aware of it for the past few years, but i can't tell when it started. maybe i have been like this all my life.

i view my life as a story, and i live according to that. this is by no means a passive thing. it is obvious that every little thing that is in some way perceived can be, or maybe is in itself, a story. but this is not what i am talking about.

the position the story of a life has in my mindset is close to the opposite of the statement "life writes the best stories", or however you chose to word the quote. my story is not a chain of coincidences, it is not me living through things that might make a good story, my story is completely build and written by myself.

i am actively writing this story and controlling it. do not get me wrong, i don't mean this in an empowering way. i will come back to the possible reasoning behind this later on, just keep in mind that this is not supposed to praise my way of living as a way of taking control of one's life.

decisions i make and things i do are always motivated by whether they would fit into the story i am crafting for myself. there is a certain atmosphere, a point, a type of main character that has to be consistent. and all that i do has to be something the protagonist of my story would realistically do. everything is controlled.

it does not end here. a story needs ups and downs, good and bad events. i am aware of that and take it into consideration when going about my life. i will create my downs, have a self-imposed downfall, have controlled negative reactions to things. i have a tendency of wanting the story to be "clean", to have no open endings and all conflicts resolved or defeat accepted. therefore, most problems are made with a concrete plan of solving them in mind. still, i will suffer for the time being, or make myself suffer, for the story.

and by no means am i portraying myself as a good person, or a hero. the story is meant to be interesting, to be good enough for telling, but that is it. i control the story, i control how i am perceived, but this has no relation to me keeping up a good image.

so, what is the worst that can happen? something sudden and unexpected. bad things happening, i can live with that. i incorporate them into my story, and i tailor my reaction until it fits perfectly and matches the story. but changes made by a higher power are intolerable. some things are impossible to fit into the story. and some of these things change everything about my life and myself. this is when it gets hard. i then have trouble re-constructing my story around this event. some of these events make me unable to continue the story, which puts me in misery. luckily, i am able to fix things most of the time, make turns and changes until the pieces fit back together and things can go on.

while controlling everything, i have very little control. i am controlled by the wish for a neat narrative. i want my story to be one that can be told, and i want it to be a very certain kind of story. this limits me, and besides being my artificially crafted main character, i am not sure who i really am. i can hardly connect to my emotions and myself, and there is no way of knowing what i would do if it weren't for the story.

why? a very simple question, with many possible answers.

the obvious one, possibly the most redeeming one, is this being a coping mechanism. i romanticise to the point it makes everything bearable and controllable, or at least gives an illusion of control, and i make all that happens to me feel unreal. so, this might be either mental ilness or a reaction to mental illness.

the less defendable theories that can hardly be called normal can be divided into three categories, which are innocence, knowledge and arrogance.

the first category, innocence, is fairly simple. i am just hopeful, optimistic and stupid. i romanticise because i am genuinely able to see bad things as part of something good, because i genuinely think that there is the beauty of a story in all suffering. while this is possible, i think it is rather unlikely to be the answer.

the second category is called knowledge, which is the rather philosophical approach to explaining this behaviour. i am aware how meaningless a single human individual, or any individual for that matter, is in this great universe we exist in. no matter what i do, i will die, i will rot away, i will be gone and forgotten. a story, having a point, gives meaning to something that does not hold any meaning on its own, and there is always the chance of a story lasting far longer than the one telling it, possibly becoming as immortal as something man-made can be. while this slightly nihilistic view might seem intelligent, i do not think i am so smart that i internally and truly accept meaninglessness. i think i belong to the majority of people that simply ignore this fact and push it away, instead of facing and accepting it.

this leaves me with the third and last category, which i called arrogance. this is related to the very first theory, the one stating that i use this as a way of coping, but the focus lies on different aspects. i do not have to explain the sheer arrogance it takes to view yourself as the main character. the pridefulness in romanticising your whole life, to the point you believe it to be something as intricate and interesting as a story. while i wish i could disagree with this theory, i morally can not. i know how bad i have been and my morals will not let me defend myself against this allegation. which is why i will accept this theory as the answer.

to be answering the question of why i live for the story with my own arrogance is admitting to being evil. it is admitting that this system of thought has to end, and one more point on the list of my crimes against the spirit of humanity.

my conclusion is causing me pain, but happiness lies in acceptance and acceptance needs truth first. but i am afraid that happines will no longer be an option - that i will know that i am not deserving of it - by the time i have found the whole truth.

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razieltwelve · 3 years

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Writing Genre Fiction

Not all fiction is the same. It’s why we often divide stories according to which genre or sub-genre they belong to. In the case of fantasy, it’s not unusual to see stories classified as epic fantasy, or humorous fantasy, or dark fantasy, amongst many others. Each of these genres or sub-genres has its own quirks and conventions, and a reader can generally tell whether or not a story fits fairly quickly. As a writer, then, what are some of the things you should consider when writing for a particular genre or sub-genre?

In my opinion, it comes down to the five crucial aspects of a story:

Characters

Plot

Setting

Themes/ideas

Writing technique

Each of these five areas is vital to the success of a story and each genre or sub-genre has its own conventions that apply to each of these areas. Adhering to these conventions, or at least acknowledging them, is the easiest way to ensure your story fits into a particular genre or sub-genre. To illustrate this, let’s pretend we’re trying to write a humorous fantasy or a dark fantasy story.

Characters

Characters are the heart of a story. There are very, very, very few stories that can survive having boring and formulaic characters. In contrast, readers are often willing to overlook a lot of flaws in a story if the characters are interesting and engaging enough. If you want to write a humorous fantasy, then you need to make sure that humour is a part of your characters.

Let’s start off with one of the stereotypes of fantasy fiction: the adventurer. Now, adventurers are commonplace in fantasy fiction. If we want readers to know that they’re reading a humorous fantasy, then we need to make our adventurer a humorous fellow. Now, this doesn’t mean that the adventurer has to be funny. On the contrary, it is entirely acceptable for their misfortune to be the cause of other people’s mirth. Consider the following introduction:

Jeremy could still remember the day he’d first joined the Adventurer’s Guild. They’d given him a wooden plate with his name on it and told him to go kill some goblins. That first mission hadn’t gone exactly to plan. If it hadn’t been for a serendipitous landslide annihilating the goblins’ camp, he might well have met his end then and there. However, there was nothing wrong with a bit of luck to start a man’s adventuring career off. Surely, it wouldn’t be long before his wooden plate gave way to a copper one and then a silver one and then perhaps even a gold one. Ideally, he’d get to platinum one day, but he didn’t want to be too arrogant.

Of course, his first mission hadn’t been the only one that hadn’t gone to plan. The second hadn’t gone to plan either, nor had the third, or the fourth, or the fifth… In fact, it had been ten years and twenty-seven missions, and he still had a wooden plate dangling around his neck. On the upside, he’d finally upgraded from a pointy wooden stick to a proper spear. It was progress. Kind of.

Now, the moment a reader gets through those two paragraphs, they’re going to know what kind of story this is. It’s going to be a humorous fantasy. The very nature of the character (Jeremy) makes it clear that humour is going to play a part in the story. What if we wanted to write a dark fantasy? Well, we’d have to approach it differently:

Ten years and twenty-seven missions. That’s how long he’d been eking out a living. Mission to mission. Day to day. Never knowing when he’d finally bite off more than he could chew. He’d done everything he could to rise up through the ranks, but nothing had worked. He’d lost a few fingers for his troubles – and more than a few friends. The best nights were the ones he didn’t dream. But when he did dream…

Gods. He could still hear the screams. He’d seen fellow adventurers ripped to bits by goblins, crushed under landslides, or set ablaze by fire drakes. It wasn’t skill that had allowed him to survive. It was luck. And maybe a bit of cowardice. But adventuring wasn’t a job for heroes. No. Heroes got killed quickly. It took a cunning man to survive, and a cunning man had to be willing to cut his losses, even if it meant losing a few friends in the process. It might make it hard to sleep at night, but it was still better than ending up in a dragon’s belly or on some ogre’s skewer.

Again, you can see how the character himself is quite a dour, pragmatic fellow. This already makes it obvious that the story will have different feel to it than the earlier one. Moreover, his explanation of his history makes it very clear that this is a world where bad things can and do happen quite frequently to people in his profession. Moreover, his admission that running and abandoning people is acceptable demonstrates a certain… darkness to the world he inhabits.

Characters often reflect the genres or sub-genres they are a part of. If you want to write a humorous fantasy or a dark fantasy, then that needs to be reflected in your characters.

Plot

The plot is another critical part of a story. It is, simply speaking, the sequence of events that occurs throughout the story. Once again, the plot itself can be used to signpost what sort of story a reader is dealing with, and readers who want to read a particular genre or sub-genre will almost always expect certain things from the plot.

For a humorous fantasy, this often means a subversion of expectations to create humour. Since fantasy, as a genre, has so many expectations, this is actually not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. Imagine you’re reading a story and you get this for a plot:

Prince Zachary was the second-most dashing prince in all the land. To become the most dashing prince, all he needed was to rescue a princess. It’s a pity, then, that there aren’t any princesses that need saving. What to do? Well… why not use his royal wealth to train a commoner to pretend to be a princess before hiring a dragon to pretend kidnap her? He could then ‘rescue’ the princess and claim the number one ranking. What could possibly go wrong? How about everything.

As you can see, the plot subverts a whole host of expectations in a way that immediately makes it clear that this is going to be a humorous story. Indeed, the plot is perfectly set up to create humorous situations from beginning to end. Now, what if we wanted to write a dark fantasy? Dark fantasy has its own expectations, and in this case, we’ll want to conform to them. That means taking the normal fantasy tropes and ideas and adding some grim darkness to them.

Prince Zachary was once the heir to the second-most prosperous kingdom in the land, but betrayal saw the downfall of his family. Robbed of his birthright and forced to wander the land disguised as a commoner, Zachary struggles to survive. Ambushed on a lonely road by bandits, he finds himself on the verge of death. Wounded, penniless, and alone, Zachary has no choice but to abandon his honour to survive. If he wants to reclaim his throne, he’ll have to become the same sort of monster as the traitors who struck down his family.

Dark fantasy features dark themes (as the name suggests), and this generally needs to be reflected in the plot. Betrayal, tragedy, and general horribleness are all parts of dark fantasy, and you’re going to need to have them in your plot if you want to write a dark fantasy. It’s not a coincidence that so many dark fantasy stories have what seems to be a whole dictionary’s worth of awful things happening to people.

The plot your story has can often be one of the biggest tells as to which genre or sub-genre it belongs to. A humorous fantasy will often have a humorous plot. A dark fantasy will often have a darker plot.

Setting

The setting of a story is the world in which the story exists as well as the rules that govern that world. What sort of setting you have will greatly influence how your story is perceived by the reader. As you can imagine, a setting full of tragedy and woe will lend itself more easily to a dark fantasy story… unless you make the tragedy and woe so utterly ridiculous that it becomes funny, in which case you’ll end up with a humorous fantasy. Don’t believe? Let’s try it out.

Evermere is a world riven with conflict. Its petty kings have fought for centuries, and their wars have done nothing but wreak havoc and suffering upon common folk and nobles alike. Driven to ever greater depths of desperation, the squabbling kings have turned to demonic pacts to further their power. Now, demons walk the land, harvesting the souls of all those unfortunate to cross their path and inflicting even greater tortures on all those who dare to oppose them.

Yeah. The world described above is pretty awful. It’s got all the ingredients you need for a dark fantasy because it allows you to deploy all of the most common tropes, traditions, and conventions (e.g., people getting tortured, civilians getting wiped out, people being betrayed, bloody conflict for petty reasons, etc.).

But what if we turned the tragedy and woe up to eleven? Well, then you’d get a setting that actually lends itself to humour:

Evermere is a world where kings are a dime a dozen. Wait. That was last week. Right now it’s about a penny a dozen – royal inflation and all that because of all the unnecessary kin-slaying and treachery. And let’s not forget the demons. Constant civil war wasn’t bad enough. Someone actually thought getting demons involved was a good idea. Now the local tax collectors are joined by demonic soul collectors in a never-ending bid to suck commoners and nobles alike dry of all their wealth and their souls.

As you can see, the setting here makes it clear that this is going to be a humorous sort of story despite it being quite dark. Indeed, the increased darkness is such that it actually goes from being dark to being amusingly over the top.

Setting matters. The world your story is set in is what gives it context. Dark fantasy stories often have dark settings. Likewise humorous fantasy stories tend to have humorous settings. In a dark fantasy, demons might expect payment in souls. In a humorous fantasy story, demons might demand payment in limited edition action figures.

Themes/Ideas

Every story has themes and ideas. In some stories, these might play a very central role. In others, they are more in the background. By now, you can tell where I’m going with this. Each genre or sub-genre has themes that occur quite frequently. Including these themes will often make it easier to write for those genres or sub-genres.

If you want to write a dark fantasy, it’s likely you’ll end up including themes or ideas like:

Betrayal

Crime paying off

The good guys not always winning

Pragmatism over honour

Moral relativism

What makes humorous fantasy (and humour in general) a bit of a special case is it’s not so much about what themes or ideas you employ but more about how you use them. For example, you can write a perfectly serviceable humorous fantasy using the themes given above with a few tweaks. Have the betrayal at the heart of the story be something petty, such as two wizards going to war because one dared to wear the same robes as the other to a prestigious convention. As for moral relativism, instead of making it a complex discussion about moral shades of grey, make it a story about a guy who has realised that sometimes it makes sense to pay a dragon to eat the bandits who’re troubling your village.

Certain themes and ideas lend themselves best to particular genres and sub-genres. Making use of those themes and ideas will help you to write a story that satisfies the reader and fits into those genres and sub-genres.

Writing Technique

Writing technique refers to the technical aspects of writing, such as word choice, sentence composition, and so on. Different genres and sub-genres are written in different ways, so conforming (or not conforming) to those standards can make your life as a writer easier.

Take something like epic fantasy. In most epic fantasies, you tend to see more advanced vocabulary and longer, more complex sentences. The prose will often come across as a bit florid or even purple to those who aren’t fond of epic fantasy stories. In contrast, dark fantasy stories tend to lean more toward more succinct prose and grittier descriptions and exposition. Battle isn’t some glorious, heroic endeavour out of story and song. It is brutal and ugly and bloody and all too real. Likewise, humorous fantasy has its own writing techniques, such as hyperbole, contrast, and so on.

Just contrast these descriptions of a battle.

Blood. The coppery smell of it filled the air. Gerard’s spear caught in his opponent’s gut, and the dying man lunged forward with his sword. Gerard let go of the spear and dodged the desperate slash before he drew his dagger and jammed it into the man’s throat. Blood spewed from the wound, and he shoved the other man into the muck of the battlefield. At his feet, a wounded man clutched at his leg. He kicked him in the face and yanked his spear free. There was still plenty of killing to do.

That, as you can imagine, would fit well into a dark fantasy. It’s gritty, realistic, and definitely dark. Now, how about something different:

The two men circled each other, their blades at the ready, each as keen for battle as a berserk wolverine. With all the grace of two walruses fighting on the shore, the pair lunged forward. To call what followed combat would have been an insult to the word combat. It was closer to the deranged flailing of two half-witted drunks.

The writing style should immediately give away that this isn’t a serious story. Instead, it’s a humorous one.

Writing technique can greatly impact how a story is perceived. Things like word choice, sentence construction, metaphor, exaggeration, and more can all help define what genre or sub-genre a story belongs to.

Summary

If you want to write a genre story, then you need to understand how that genre works. Each genre has its own rules, expectations, and conventions. You don’t need to slavishly follow all of them, but incorporating at least some of them into the characters, plot, setting, themes/ideas, and writing techniques you employ will make your task far easier – and far more enjoyable for the readers. This applies to areas as diverse as dark fantasy and humorous fantasy.

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here or on Audible here.

#writing #writing technique #writing advice #writing tips #improving your writing #writing humor #writing dark fantasy #genre writing

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calliecat93 · 5 years

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You know, every time I get ready to write these reviews I think ‘oh God, how am I gonna type all of this out?!”. There is so much to say. So much to go over. It’s like that with every review I’ve done, but for this volume? God… I am at a loss every single time. There’s so many conflicting things going on. So much where I have an opinion on practically everything. Differing views about everything. Where I can see both the right and wrong in every action that the characters take.

RWBY has grown more and more complex over the years, but this volume? It takes the cake. The last chapter has so much of… everything that watching it again still gives me chills. So… how will the follow-up go? Going off what I already said, you can probably guess: tense as Hell. So let’s get on with it.

Review

Things are at an all-time low. Ironwood has banned public gatherings in Mantle. Curfews have been put in place. Everyone is utterly terrified and despite Atlas saying that the footage was doctored, they are calling for Penny to be deactivated. With Atlas becoming even more strict and her no longer able to get on the council, Robyn and her Happy Huntresses have gone full-on vigilante and are robbing the military for everything that they’ve got. We get to see their Semblances though, wth May being able to create an invisibility dome and Fiona (THE SHEEP LIVES!) having some kind of pocket dimension ability. Kinda reminds me of Miroku’s Wind Tunnel in Inuyasha, awesome!

Needless to say, Ironwood is nooooot happy right now. With the stolen resources and Mantle no longer cooperating, Amity has been at a standstill. It is at the point that he and Winter are strongly considering enacting Martial Law on the city, much to the shock of both Ruby and Nora. Well… for Nora, shock isn’t the right word. No, no.. she is enraged. She angrily rebukes Ironwood when he says that he knows that Mantle is taking the brunt of the sacrifices, pointing out that no, they’re taking all of it. They’re suffering, scared, and being forced to fall in line all because of this waiting game, and all it’s going to do is make them easy targets for the Grimm. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Nora this enraged before, so… yeah… wow…

Ruby, much more calmly, tries to convince Ironwood that his actions are only causing the division that Salem wants. But it’s derailed as the reason that they are Ren are there is to confirm that it was indeed Tyrian there. Which we learn that he is a wanted serial killer who was caught, but escaped when his prison transport was attacked by the Grimm. Which we all know where he ended up after. Ruby wants to tell the people, but Clover says no since it’ll only cause even more panic, which is why Ironwood refuses to talk about Amity or Salem yet. His orders for now? For Robyn to be arrested in order to get Amity back on track/Mantle’s cooperation, and anyone not doing that will be assigned to finding Tyrian. He asks if he’s made himself clear, which is acknowledged by Clover, WInter… and to the shock of Ruby and Nora, Ren.

Later in Mantle, Blake and Yang are with Ace-Ops on tracking down Robyn though in a different van. This gives them time to talk about the recent events. Yang still believes that they should have told Ironwood the truth from the start since he deserved to know, but Blake still believes that it was best to hold back especially since it’s now proven that he tends to overreact to bad news. But Blake is pretty worn down about their actions in the name of doing the right thing, and not just with Atlas. They don’t outright say it out loud, but it’s clear that she’s referring to Adam. Even when Yang reminds her that they had no choice, Blake is still worried about it coming down to that again and isn’t exactly looking forward to arresting a Huntress who is only trying to do good… at least, until Yang proposes that they don’t have to.

Meanwhile in Atlas, Pietro has Penny hooked up and is working to get the footage that she recorded to prove her innocence, though even he doubts that it’ll do any good now. Ruby and Weiss are there… as is Maria, who has been helping Pietro with his work. FINALLY SHE IS BACK! Pietro is understandably upset about his daughter being framed and viewed as a murderer, especially since Robyn would have been killed had Penny not been there. Ruby, however, suspects that Tyrian never intended to kill Robyn and that framing Penny was exactly what they wanted. They wanted to use Penny to send a message of division, just like at the Vytal Festival. Pietro has realized that the same person who caused the events then is likely the one doing it now, though with Atlas’ code updated it should be safe. Though since the SDC is one of the ones with access, Weiss isn’t so certain and even more suspicious of her father’s involvement.

But hey, if worst comes to worst, Pietro can just rebuild Penny again, right? Well… not exactly. You know how Penny said in V2 that she’s the first robot to be able to generate an Aura? Well… there’s a reason for this. Pietro reveals his Aura… and there are two noticeable chunks missing. That’s right, Pietro gave us parts of his own Aura, his own soul, to create Penny. We find out how back in his youth, he and his colleagues proposed their own projects to Ironwood, and his was selected. He wanted to create a protector with a soul, and thus The Penny Project came to be. But the more times that Pennyisi destroyed, the more that it takes from Pietro and he may not be able to do so again if Mantle gets their way. Something that very understandably has him scared and distraught. Ruby swears to find the man responsible… as Pietro puts down a photo that he has of himself and his colleagues. Including a certain disgraced scientist…

Back in Mantle, Robyn and her gang start to rob another truck.. But it’s the one with Blake and Yang. They start to try and talk to her, but Robyn and her team run for it. They give chase, eventually leading to a clash between the Bees and Robyn. It’s not exactly a spectacular fight, but a nice and short one that further shows the Bees teamwork as well as their own capabilities, and especially Robyn’s own skill as a Huntress. They do eventually convince her to listen though, revealing the purpose of Amity being reconfigured to re-establish communication. To see if it’s true, Robyn has Blake take her hand where we discover Robyn’s Semblance: Lie Detection. Wow, the theories were true. Robyn is surprised to realize that Blake is indeed being honest and confused about why Ironwood would keep that a secret. She wants to know what else is going on and who the actual villains are, but the Bees aren’t ready to reveal anything more. The Ace-Ops are nearing the area so Robyn flees, swearing that nothing is going to stop her until she knows the truth.

We cut back to Atlas Academy... and into the Vault where Ironwood has taken Oscar in hopes of jigging up some Oz memories. Behind the door is the Staff of Creation, which we learn is pretty much some kind of endless energy generator. In fact, it is the reason why Atlas is floating in the sky, an idea made by Oz, and not Gravity Dust which was the cover story, However, the Staff can only be used on one thing at a time, hence why they can’t use it on Amity since… well…that would cause some devastating issues for Atlas, to put it simply. It’s certainly strange for Oscar. To see something that a part of him helped create, even though he himself didn’t do so. But Ironwood says that he’ll get used to it and eventually won’t even be able to tell the difference anymore. Something that Oscar doesn’t exactly look happy about, though at least he takes it better than he has in the past.

But instead of pondering on his identity issues, Oscar instead tries to talk to Ironwood about the path that he’s currently heading down. How he keeps trying to be the one with all the answers. The one where he does everything to do what he feels is right, even if it means crossing several moral lines. Essentially, Ironwood is trying to be Oz, and we all know how that went for him. But Ironwood feels that there is no other choice. Allt hat matters is stopping Salem, though Oscar rebukes that preserving their humanity, the thing that Salem threw away, matters even more. But Ironwood isn’t so sure, even wondering if that’s Salem’s greatest strength. Can she feel fear? Hesitant? Helpless? The same things that Ironwood felt at Vale. When he saw his forces be taken over, with him unable to do anything. How even with all of his forces, he could do nothing. We even see him flashback to seeing the Queen Virus appear on his screen back then. It’s… pretty damning.

Oscar tells Ironwood that it’s okay to feel these things. Even fear. You just can’t let it control you. Ironwood however only swears that he won’t end up like Lionheart did and asks Oscar if he believes in him. Oscar says yes… but not /only/ on him, encouraging him to talk to the people he’s afraid to. The two take the elevator up, only to find an anxious Penny and Winter. The latter gives Ironwood a letter… from her father. Turns out, they’ve all been invited to the Schnee Manor for dinner. One where Ironwood will be defending his seat on the council, Jaques first act as the newest Councilman.

Review

So… not quite as evil as last week, but still a very tense ride. You can cut the tension with a butterknife at this point. Everything is building up, and I imagine that the downfall won’t be pleasant.

We’re going to talk about where RWBYJNRO stand respectively. Let’s start with JNR. SInce Jaune isn’t in the episode it’s hard to gauge where he stands currently, though going off the past few chapters I imagine that he’s in the middle of Ren and Nora, but leaning towards Nora. The Renora duo though? Ho boy… they’ve never been more divided. It’s been clear since Chapter One where Nora stands. She is completely disapproving of the treatment of Mantle, and it and the secrets have her nearing a breaking point. And she’s totally right. Mantle is bearing all of the burdens, all of the sacrifices, and they don’t even know why. They don’t deserve this. Considering how we know that she was a street urchin, having to steal food and be mercilessly bullied by others when she ended up in Kuroyuri, it makes perfect sense for Nora to be this way. But it also makes sense why Ren is how he is. I don’t approve of him siding with Ironwood… but I understand why. After all, lack of any security and protection is what caused his village and family to be slaughtered. No, I don’t view Ren as a boot-licker and IDT he’s particularly happy about any of this. But he’s so focused on the what-ifs over the now, and it’s messing with him. Tyrian’s massacre, an event that he got distracted from detecting due to kissing Nora, doesn’t help.

I just feel so horrible for both of them. I am glad to see it though. For the longest time, Ren and Nora have differed but generally, they had little conflict between them despite their varying different personalities. It’s sweet to see, but they aren’t the same person. Ren is reserved and quiet, Nora is outgoing and bubbly. Ren is the Straight Man of the group, while Nora is the Genki Girl. Ren had a family that he lost, while Nora had no one until Ren came along (that we know of anyways). Ren’s Semblance involves masking emotions, while Nora’s involves absorbing energy. They are both very different people, but they love each other and always supported each other. But now they’re at an impasse. Nora is against Mantle’s mistreatment no matter the reason, while Ren sees it as a necessary evil to protect everyone and appears fully on board with it. And Ren seems even more closed off as ever since he didn’t even talk or express anything until siding with Ironwood’s orders, while Nora made her stance and feelings very clear with Ruby backing her. IDK where this is going to lead, but it shows that the kiss didn’t just magically fix their problems. Which is good, but it makes it all the more painful as we see the division grow between them.

Then we get to the RWBY girls. So let’s discuss Blake and Yang’s decisions here. For the most part, I agree with them. Robyn is only trying to do what’s right for Mantle. Sure she’s robbed military vehicles, but so far that’s the only morally ambiguous thing that she’s done, and she has a pretty valid reason for it. Trying to talk and work with Robyn is a much better option than opposing her and furthering the divide. It’s also good to see that the two have differing opinions on Ruby’s lie, with Yang still trusting Ruby but still feeling that Ironwood should know, while Blake feels that it could have caused much worse and in that regard is still on the same page as Ruby. They discussed it maturely and while again they don’t outright say it, it’s good to see that Blake does still have lingering issues from killing Adam despite knowing that she had to. It makes sense that she doesn’t want to arrest Robyn since… well, a Huntress doing morally ambiguous things to help the oppressed. Yeah, she fully understands that. And Yang has always kinda been anti-authority and is clearly against secrets especially towards those who deserve to know it (though it further makes her hiding Ravens Maiden identity very bad on her part), so of course she’d be on board with Robyn.

But… I can’t say that this was the right thing to do. First of all, they don’t know anything about Robyn. Yes, it’s clear that she does indeed care about Mantle. We also do see here that while she’s still upset about what happened before, she isn’t unreasonable. She does listen, and once she sees that Blake was telling the truth, accepts it. But of course, we see that she’s Hellbent on knowing the full truth and finding out who actually did this. We don’t know if she’s going to give the Bees her trust. We don’t know what she’ll do with this information. Maybe she’ll be swayed, maybe she won’t. She knows that Atlas has reasons… but they’re still oppressing Mantle instead of just being open about it. And if she does find out about Salem, there’s no telling what she’ll do. Robyn isn’t a bad person, but she is certianly not afraid of breaking the law and while IDT she’d harm innocents, there’s no telling how far he’ll go to get answers. There just isn’t a lot known about Robyn and while I think it is right to reach out to her, IDK if doing so without talking to Ironwood or the rest of the team was a good idea.

This brings us to the next point, the lack of communication. It’s been pretty clear that Bake and Yang are kinda doing their own thing and have for a while now. Which is fine and helps with their development, especially after V6. There’s a lot of trust and understanding between them in a way that only they can understand. We see that in how they talk about their differing opinions, doing so maturely and understanding the other’s view while still standing by their own thoughts. It’s good to see. But the problem is they made this decision about Robyn… without talking to the others, especially Ruby and Weiss. While I do agree with them, it makes it look like... kinda iffy. Like despite Yang saying that she trusts Ruby, she doesn’t fully. How despite Blake saying that they’ll follow Ruby’s lead, they won’t. On the one hand, they aren’t following anyone blindly, and that is important. But doing do without trying to talk to the others? That is not a good thing. Sure they think they’re helping and I do think that they’ll tell Ruby when they get to Atlas. But IDK how she’ll feel. I can see her agreeing that it was right... but IDK how she’ll feel about it being done behind her back even if it was split-second. She may/say it’s fine, but is that true? It may just add more pressure to her and her worries, and that is going to lead to bad things. I agree with Yang and lake, but I feel that they should have waited until they talked to the others because if Robyn does who knows what, it could only make things worse, and in turn make Ruby’s ultimate decision even harder.

But Ruby’s also not communicating anything. So far, aside from talking to Qrow a little in Chapter 4 and expressing her uncertainty in Chapter 6, she hasn’t talked about making a decision or her own feelings. She’s on board with Amity going up, but we don’t know if she feels like she needs to tell Ironwood about Salem now or not. Aside from any questioning it in Chapter 3, no one else has tried talking to her nor has she tried talking to any of the others or their opinions. Mind you, we may see that soon since the recent events are still recent, but it needs to happen soon. Weiss has so far been uninvolved with the Robyn stuff and while shes voiced her disapproval of Ironood’s regime and suspicions of her father, none of the others have really talked with her about it. Yang dismissed Weiss’ concerns about Jaques in CHapter 6 (though tbf it was before everything went to Hell), and no one acknowledged her voicing her suspicions this chapter. She’s ceritnaly against Ironwood’s regime, but right now her focus seems to be on her father, which isn’t unfounded. But it’s hard to say where she stands regarding Ruby’s lie and working with Robyn at this point nor especially how she feels about Winter’s current stance.

Then we have Oscar. This was an interesting chapter for him. He’s been completely uninvolved in the Robyn stuff and we haven’t seen how he feels about Ruby’s choices since Chapter 3. But he was good here. We see him display a lot of maturity and hindsight. He’s pretty much seeing Ironwood trying to be like Oz, and he knows how that is a bad thing. He wants to side with Ironwood since he sees that he’s a good person… and he is. Ironwood is one of if not the most complex character in the series. He is a good person. He is caring, can be light-hearted, and ultimately does want to protect everyone and do what’s right. But he is also a very, very flawed person. He is allowing Mantle to suffer and be viewed as a dictator, which he puts off as not caring about even though it’s clearly tearing him up. He saw what happened last time when he had a huge army and usurped power for his own reasons, but here he is doing it again. He’s trying to shove away his emotions and trying to be this fearless leader who has all the answers and is doing what’s best, aka be like Ozpin. But he isn’t Oz, and no one should be. He is letting fear control him and compromising his morals to do what he views as the right thing, even if it means that innocents suffer. The Tin Man is throwing away his heart, just as the Cowardly Lion gave into his cowardice.

Oscar can see this. He gets it. Ironwood is a good man, but he’s so focused on his own goal that he’s disregarding everything else. He’s practically shoving away his humanity, the same thing that Salem lost a long time ago. The general is heading down a dark path. It’s like I said in my Opening Analysis, Ironwood’s hopes are shattered. He’s trying, but he doesn’t know what to do. He’s just lost, and he’s risking staying that way for good. IDK how much Oscar’s words actually helped, but I am glad to see him speaking his own thoughts. Not Oz’, his. We do see for a brief second that Oscar is still unhappy about being viewed as Oz and the eventual merger, which that seeming to be dropped was a big issue with him last volume. I still don’t feel like he’s getting proper development, but this is a start. He’s acting like his own person instead of needing Oz to guide him or worrying about if his thoughts are his own. This is very much what we needed from him, and I’m very happy to see it here.

Finally, let’s talk about Pietro and Penny. It’s clear that the last chapter broke Penny. Any time that we see her here, she’s either sad or anxious. She is completely quiet, a major contrast to her bubbly, energetic personality throughout the volume. Once more, the villains used her status as a root made by Atlas to turn the people against Ironwood. How she may look like this sweet little girl just trying to protect the people, but in reality, she’s just a weapon used to further oppress the people. Now people want her destroyed, even though despite being made of metal, she is human. She has a soul. She has a heart. She has genuinely good intentions and just wanted to do good. But now it’s pretty much impossible for her to be viewed as anything but a weapon. The poor girl deserves all the hugs in the world.

But it’s equally heartbreaking seeing Pietro’s reaction. He clearly loves enny. His creation. His daughter. His distraught over this is a feeling that any parent who sees their children suffering can relate to. But then the bombshell happens. We find out that Pietro gave up his own Aura, the manifestation of his soul, to bring enny to life. Twice. Something that’ clearly wearing him down, and it’s pretty likely that doing it again may very well mean his death. It’s… IDK how to express it. It’s so sad to see, but it’s so sweet that he was willing to do so to bring Penny to life, and he clearly loves her with all his heart. This might also mean that he’s the one who created the Aura Transfew tech, and he used it on himself to bring Penny to life. IDK if he extended it to jam Aura into another person, but he clearly developed the tech. Still, it’s… such a bittersweet backstory. It’s about a man who wanted to create life. To create something with a soul, and he succeeded… but it cost him his own soul. And now he has to watch his daughter suffer, helpless to do anything except hope that the one behind this is caught before she can be hurt anymore. It’s so heartbreaking, but comes across as so genuine and just makes me care about these two characters even more.

This was a very eventful chapter. The length of the Overview alone I think demonstrates that. But it was an excellent one and a perfect follow-up to last week. There’s so much tension and conflict, but you can look at all these characters and understand all of their decisions. Ironwood, Robyn, Nora, Ren, Blake, Yang, everyone. There is no clear cut good or bad choices here, just choices. Everyone is trying to do what they think is right, and no one is particularly wrong. But every choice has a consequence. Even with the best-case scenario of appealing to Robyn, there is uncertainty regarding what she’ll do or how far she’ll go. It could lead to the worst-case scenario. As Blake said, there are few if any good options left. Add in things like Penny and Pietro backstory, Tyrian stuff, and talk about the Staff of Creation, and we’ve got what may be the best chapter so far. It’s gonna be one Hell of a second half, especially with the DInner Party ahead. Speaking of…

Chapter Eight Predictions

Final chapter of the year, folks. Going off the past, this one is gonna be a doozy. We’re clearly going to the Schnee Manor, though IDK who all is gonna go aside form Ironwood and Winter. Sure WInter said ‘all’ but it’s hard to say if the main group would be tagging along. But I am for certain that Weiss is going to go. Not because she wants to, but because she feels she has to (if Jaques didn’t make it clear that she has to be included, of course). She suspects her father of rigging the vote and of his recent decisions, and she’s gonna want to know why. But the only way is to go back home, something that will be very, very difficult for her and Winter both. But if it means stopping her father and uncovering the truth, she’ll do it. Might not be the smartest thing to do, but she’d do it.

This could lead to a number of things. There’s, of course, the political drama between Jaques and Ironwood, cause that’s ALWAYS fun. But this will be the first time that we’ve seen the Schnee Manor (outside Jawues office in Chapter 4) since V4. I already worry about Klein’s fate since it was Whitley who answered Watts and not him, but he could still be there. Though I suspect that Weiss is going to find out otherwise. Whitley will most likely be there, and we’ll see if he keeps on with his facade or if it’s gonna slip. Maybe even see him and WInter interact finally. But the thing I’m most hoping for That we finally see Mama Schnee. It’s been so long, and this seems like the right time especially if Weiss is genuinely concerned for her after Jaques gaslighting. And haha… if so they’ll beat the DC Comic in showing her first by mere days. Great timing there! Whatever happens though… it’s not gonna be a pleasant night for everyone involved. Hope that the food is good, at least.

Episode Stats

Favorite Character: Nora Valkyrie, Pietro Polendina, James Ironwood, and Oscar Pine Favorite Scene: Nora telling off Ironwood and the Ironwood and Oscar talk Least Favorite Scene: The first minute or two, only cause it feels weird that we had the Grimm Attack last week that… just went nowhere. Favorite Voice Actor: David Fennoy (Pietro Polendina) Favorite Animation: Bees vs Robyn. Rating: 9/10

Final Thoughts

Dear God this is probably the longest review yet. And with where things are heading, they’re only gonna get longer. But damn… this has been by far the most complex volume and I am /loving it! SO many different conflicts between everyone, and you can understand everyone but see the problems with all of it. Good fights. Good expositions that don’t feel dragged, Good character interactions, and even more interesting choices made by characters. There are so many things that can happen form here, both good and bad. I feel more and more uncertain about things the more that it goes on, except that I love it. While IDK if it tops 3 and 6 yet in terms of enjoyment and we’ve still got six more chapters to go, this may very well be the best-written volume thus far.

#rwby #rwby7 #rwby reviews #callie reviews

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allfathertoday · 6 years

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How to Destroy America by Texas Oathkeepers

Something I read over coffee this morning:

Wherever you stand, please take the time to read this; it ought to scare the bejeebies out of you!

We know Dick Lamm as Governor of Colorado. In that context his thoughts are particularly poignant. Last week there was an immigration overpopulation conference in Washington D.C., filled to capacity by many of America's finest minds and leaders. A brilliant college professor [and farmer] by the name of Victor Davis Hanson talked about his latest book, Mexifornia, explaining how immigration - both legal and illegal - was destroying the entire state of California. He said it would march across the country until it destroyed all vestiges of The American Dream.

Moments later, former Colorado Governor Richard D. Lamm stood up and gave a stunning speech on how to destroy America.

The audience sat spellbound as he described eight methods for the destruction of the United States. He said, "If you believe that America is too smug, too self-satisfied, too rich, then let's destroy America. It is not that hard to do. No nation in history has survived the ravages of time Arnold Toynbee observed that all great civilizations rise and fall and that 'An autopsy of history would show that all great nations commit suicide.'

"Here is how they do it," Lamm said:

"First, to destroy America, turn America into a bilingual or multi-lingual and bi-cultural country. History shows that no nation can survive the tension, conflict, and antagonism of two or more competing languages and cultures It is a blessing for an individual to be bilingual; however, it is a curse for a society to be bilingual. The historical scholar, Seymour Lipset, put it this way: 'The histories of bilingual and bi-cultural societies that do not assimilate are histories of turmoil, tension, and tragedy.' Canada, Belgium, Malaysia, and Lebanon all face crises of national existence in which minorities press for autonomy, if not independence. Pakistan and Cyprus have divided. Nigeria suppressed an ethnic rebellion France faces difficulties with Basques, Bretons, Corsicans and Muslims.'

Lamm went on:

"Second, to destroy America, invent 'multiculturalism' and encourage immigrants to maintain their culture. Make it an article of belief that all cultures are equal; that there are no cultural differences. Make it an article of faith that the Black and Hispanic dropout rates are due solely to prejudice and discrimination by the majority. Every other explanation is out of bounds.

"Third, we could make the United States an 'Hispanic Quebec' without much effort. The key is to celebrate diversity rather than unity. As Benjamin Schwarz said in the Atlantic Monthly recently: 'The apparent success of our own multi-ethnic and multicultural experiment might have been achieved not by tolerance but by hegemony. Without the dominance that once dictated ethnocentricacy and what it meant to be an American, we are left with only tolerance and pluralism to hold us together.'

Lamm said, "I would encourage all immigrants to keep their own language and culture. I would replace the melting pot metaphor with the salad bowl metaphor. It is important to ensure that we have various cultural subgroups living in America enforcing their differences rather than as Americans, emphasizing their similarities.

"Fourth, I would make our fastest growing demographic group the least educated. I would add a second underclass, un-assimilated, under-educated, and antagonistic to our population. I would have this second underclass have a 50% dropout rate from high school.

"My fifth point for destroying America would be to get big foundations and business to give these efforts lots of money. I would invest in ethnic identity, and I would establish the cult of 'Victimology.' I would get all minorities to think that their lack of success was the fault of the majority. I would start a grievance industry blaming all minority failure on the majority.

"My sixth plan for America's downfall would include dual citizenship, and promote divided loyalties. I would celebrate diversity over unity. I would stress differences rather than similarities. Diverse people worldwide are mostly engaged in hating each other - that is, when they are not killing each other. A diverse, peaceful, or stable society is against most historical precept. People undervalue the unity it takes to keep a nation together. Look at the ancient Greeks. The Greeks believed that they belonged to the same race; they possessed a common language and literature; and they worshipped the same gods. All Greece took part in the Olympic games. A common enemy, Persia, threatened their liberty. Yet all these bonds were not strong enough to overcome two factors: local patriotism and geographical conditions that nurtured political divisions. Greece fell. 'E. Pluribus Unum' -- From many, one. In that historical reality, if we put the emphasis on the 'pluribus' instead of the 'Unum,' we will 'Balkanize' America as surely as Kosovo.

"Next to last, I would place all subjects off limits. Make it taboo to talk about anything against the cult of 'diversity.' I would find a word similar to 'heretic' in the 16th century - that stopped discussion and paralyzed thinking. Words like 'racist' or 'xenophobe' halt discussion and debate. Having made America a bilingual/bi-cultural country, having established multi-culturalism, having the large foundations fund the doctrine of 'Victimology,' I would next make it impossible to enforce our immigration laws. I would develop a mantra: That because immigration has been good for America , it must always be good. I would make every individual immigrant symmetric and ignore the cumulative impact of millions of them."

In the last minute of his speech, Governor Lamm wiped his brow. Profound silence followed. Finally he said, "Last, I would censor Victor Davis Hanson's book Mexifornia. His book is dangerous. It exposes the plan to destroy America. Unless you feel America deserves to be destroyed, don't read that book."

There was no applause. A chilling fear quietly rose like an ominous cloud above every attendee at the conference. Every American in that room knew that everything Lamm enumerated was proceeding methodically, quietly, darkly, yet pervasively across the United States today. Discussion is being suppressed. Over 100 languages are ripping the foundation of our educational system and national cohesiveness. Even barbaric cultures that practice female genital mutilation are growing as we celebrate "diversity." American jobs are vanishing into the Third World as corporations create a Third World in America - take note of California and other states To date, ten million illegal aliens and growing fast. It is reminiscent of George Orwell's book, 1984. In that story, three slogans are engraved in the Ministry of Truth building: "War is peace," "Freedom is slavery," and "Ignorance is strength."

Governor Lamm walked back to his seat. It dawned on everyone at the conference that our nation and the future of this great democracy is deeply in trouble and worsening fast. If we don't get this immigration monster stopped within three years, it will rage like a California wildfire and destroy everything in its path, especially The American Dream.

If you care for and love our country as I do, take the time to pass this on just as I did for you.

NOTHING to counteract this is going to happen if you don't!

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rickbarebow · 6 years

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Wherever you stand, please take the time to read this; it ought to scare the bejeebies out of you!

Moments later, former Colorado Governor Richard D. Lamm stood up and gave a stunning speech on how to destroy America.

"Here is how they do it," Lamm said:

Lamm went on:

If you care for and love our country as I do, take the time to pass this on just as I did for you.

NOTHING to counteract this is going to happen if you don't!

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angiewang19 · 4 years

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thoughts on Parasite

It was way more anxiety than I signed up for. Regardless, the movie was a masterpiece. It was incredibly well executed, and every moment was riveting. More often that I’d like to admit, I was either 1) on my feet, jumping up and down or 2) squirming out of visceral discomfort and anxiety.

After a while, I came to terms with the fact that I was just going to have no idea what was going to happen next. I think this kind of unpredictability is a recurring theme in the movie: having a plan is everything, yet it is also nothing. In particular, a scene that is seared into my memory is when the son and dad are sleeping in the gym after their apartment is flooded. The son asks his dad to explain the “plan” he mentioned earlier in the Parks’ basement, and the dad responds by saying that his plan is to have no plan at all: “You can't go wrong with no plans. We don't need to make a plan for anything.”

Update after second viewing. This time around, I noticed that the poor family wrestling with their conscience, feeling guilty after their actions. We see this when the family is sitting in the living room, drinking. The dad inquires about Yoon, his predecessor, and wishes him well, and immediately after, the daughter becomes defensive. And after the dad deals with the ex-housekeeper and her husband in the basement, the three of them run away, and they are sleeping on the gym floor, the dad’s no-plan attitude is mechanism to absolve himself of guilt. Without a plan, no action can be considered deliberate (it just happens), so there is no need to feel guilty. In other words, everything is just an accident and so everything can be justified.

Update after second viewing. I picked up on a lot more foreshadowing. When the family is drinking in the living room, they’re bantering about being rich and nice (by the way, I totally agree with the mom’s statement “she’s nice because she’s rich”). The mom also says that her husband is like a cockroach. When there’s light, it will run away and disappear immediately. That is exactly what happened after the birthday party (the metaphorical “light”).

The movie’s most obvious commentary is about class/social inequality, a consequence of capitalism. The poor family’s immoral, fraudulent actions are driven by a desperate desire to survive. Obviously, this motivation to make enough money to improve their shitty living conditions evolves into ruthless greed. It’s fascinating because the film explores this issue in the context of these very poor people getting intimately involved in the lives of an extremely wealthy family. Nowadays, the growing divide between the “haves” and “have-nots” is not just in terms of money, but it is also in terms of physical space. So for the poor family to be laying underneath a table adjacent to a couch where the Parks are having sex (an uncomfortably close encounter between the poor and the rich here!) is an unexplored plot and a relatively novel concept, which is one way this film is incredibly innovative and thought-provoking.

I also thought it was interesting that Bong Joon-ho mentioned that while audiences typically view the poor family as the metaphorical Parasites, the wealthy Parks are Parasites as well. They depend on their poor counterparts to get from place to place, to eat, and to learn because they literally don’t know how to do anything. And so because both parties are Parasites, they end up eating each other alive.

I also think that beyond the obvious commentary about wealth disparity, the film also hints at some sexism in our society. Mrs. Park and Mr. Park have a stiff dynamic. On one hand, Mrs. Park manages everything in their safe bubble and loves her children (perhaps so much that it blinds her from having an accurate perception of reality). She’s a dutiful wife and to some extent, is scared of her husband. On the other hand, Mr. Park leaves the bubble more often to make money but doesn’t feel strongly towards his family. Perhaps, settling down, getting married, and having children is the socially acceptable thing to do for someone of his status, but it is clear that he doesn’t care much about that (as evidenced by when the dad/chauffeur asks him whether he loves his wife, and he hesitates and says that it can be called “love”). There are lots of red flags before everything blows up, but Mrs. Park fails to see them because she sees money as the solution to all of her problems in her bubble. Thus, I wonder if Mrs. Park was more open to her husband about everything that was happening, rather than creating the facade that she had everything at home “taken care of.” At that point, perhaps they would have been able to put their brains together and figure out what was going on. I think in particular her belief that she hired a housekeeper with tuberculosis could have easily been debunked by someone who had a slightly clearer view of the fact that the family was on a weird, domino-like hiring streak. What ifs and what could be in analyses always bother me, but I feel like this is a reasonable argument, given that Mr. Park seemed to have some buried, unexplored suspicions, especially with the dad’s stench. This discussion suggests that their alpha-male dynamic is a part of their downfall, as the Parks most definitely do not come out of this unscathed.

The symbols were also quite interesting.

The rain (starting from the first driver offering to drop the sister off at her home, rather than the train station, since it was “going to rain”) foreshadowed the shitshow to come. It is clear that camping doesn’t make sense in the rain, so the Parks would be coming home sooner, rather than later. My dad also believes that rain represents the purging of all that is horrible, so it also foreshadows the bloody fight between the ex-housekeeper/her husband and the poor family. It’s also interesting to note that before the birthday party, Mrs. Park says that there is no pollution that day, since the rain washed it out the night before. Little did she know... (perhaps, we can interpret this as the rain, which represents human vices like vengeance and anger, falling from the sky/heavens to the earth that mortals inhabit)

I didn’t notice the staircase motif, but my dad sure did. It represents ascent and descent of the social/class hierarchy. The poor family lives in a basement, while the Parks live on a hill. And even within the Parks’ home, there are lots of staircases.

The Parks’ little boy’s obsession with Native Americans. It probably has something to do with when he thought he saw a ghost when he was six, and indigenous people are known for their beliefs in the supernatural. But it’s also pretty fascinating that he was blatantly appropriating their culture, living in a teepee and wearing headdresses. Bong Joon-ho said that this was commentary on how easily cultures can be examined simplistically.

The character setup is also interesting. The Park family consists of Mrs. Park, Mr. Park, daughter, and son. The poor family consists of mom, dad, daughter, son. They are mirrors of each other. And then we have ex-housekeeper and her husband, who ultimately blow up the conflict that has been suppressed for so long.

And the stone... still mysterious. Why did he let it tumble down the stairs? Lots of symbolism to unpack there.

Update after second viewing. I think the stone is a typical superstitious, good luck token. In the epilogue, as he puts the stone back in the water, he says that he “has a plan.” He transitions from believing in superstition (fate) to gaining agency, in the form of a plan.

Mr. Park always says that he likes servants who “don’t cross the line.” Lines are a common motif throughout the movie. When Mr. and Mrs. Park are having sex and the poor family is under the table, it is shot so that the table is the line between the rich and the poor.

Also, I love that the movie forces the audience to empathize with everyone. In the beginning, we’re rooting for the poor family. We want them to eke out a better living, and while their means to do so are problematic, anything to reduce their squalor seems like a big win. But once we realize that they’re asking for too much, we pity the Parks and are frustrated by the fact that they’re being manipulated. In particular, I find the first housekeeper to be a fascinating character (her expression as she walks down the street after she’s fired is worth a thousand words). It was such a shocker that she was sneaking food to her husband down in the bunker -- I did not see that one coming. She and her husband are poor and stressed, and her husband is interesting since he was ripped off by loan sharks... yet she puts up such a facade. She was the first person we (the audience) met when we enter the estate for the first time, and she’s fiercely loyal (to both the Parks and her husband), but she’s also cunning and secretive in way that feels deeply uncomfortable. Thinking about this more, every character in the movie is leading a double life, including all of the Parks.

Looking forward to watching this again to catch more interesting gems.

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ramialkarmi · 7 years

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A Stanford researcher is pioneering a dramatic shift in how we treat depression — and you can now try her new app

Woebot is a free therapy chatbot that launched as a stand-alone app in January.

Alison Darcy, a clinical psychologist at Stanford University, created it.

Woebot uses one of the most well-researched approaches to treating depression, cognitive behavioral therapy, to deliver scripted responses to users.

It's part of a growing trend of incorporating smartphone apps into therapy.

The message I couldn't ignore appeared around 6pm. I was on the bus. Instinctively, I cupped a hand around my phone and stole a furtive glance at the newest blue bubble on the screen.

"Hey Erin, you ready to check in?" someone — or something — asked.

The message was from Woebot, an artificially intelligent chatbot designed to help people cope with feelings of depression and anxiety. It was my latest jaunt into the new and often uncharted territory of digital mental health care.

Alison Darcy, the clinical psychologist at Stanford University who created Woebot, based the tool on a type of treatment called cognitive-behavioral therapy, a heavily-researched clinical approach to depression that encourages people to examine how they react to challenging situations.

Woebot isn't a replacement for an in-person therapist, according to Darcy, nor will it help you find one. Instead, the tool is part of a widening array of approaches to mental health. But it's fundamentally different from any form of therapy that's existed before.

"The Woebot experience doesn't map onto what we know to be a human-to-computer relationship and it doesn't map onto what we know to be a human-to-human relationship either," Darcy told Business Insider. "It seems to be something in the middle."

The uniqueness of Woebot could prove to be its biggest strength — or cause its downfall. But with roughly one in five Americans struggling with some form of mental illness or psychiatric disease, experts agree that it's time for something new.

An app that tells you when you're being too hard on yourself

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and it can kill. Yet scientists know surprisingly little about it, and treatments for the condition haven't changed much in more than six decades.

We do know that talking about it seems to help — especially with a licensed therapist or psychologist. But therapy is expensive, inconvenient, and often hard to approach. Of the roughly 20% of Americans who currently have a mental illness, estimates suggest that close to two-thirds have gone at least a year without treatment.

"We have this idea that if you're suffering, you need to talk to someone, and many of us insist on that. But insisting that that's the only way actually alienates a lot of people for whom that's not possible," Darcy said.

Unlike traditional therapy, Woebot can be accessed anywhere, anytime — provided the user has a smartphone. And it's free.

Once you log in with your first name, you're set up. Woebot — a cute, animated robot — then asks you questions about yourself, from how you're feeling to what your energy is like at that moment.

The artificial intelligence behind the app is programmed to provide scripted responses to users based on the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

At times, chatting with Woebot can feel like a conversation, but most of the time, it feels like a fun game where each interaction provides a small kernel of wisdom. Over the week that I used the app, Woebot's responses grew a bit predictable, but I still enjoyed using it. I could see why the app would be helpful for many people suffering from a bout of anxiety or depression — especially those who are new to therapy.

The lessons Woebot teaches make sense over text

Several psychologists not involved with Woebot told Business Insider that CBT lends itself to being administered in a chatbot setting. A recent review of studies published in the journal World Psychiatry compared people who received the treatment online with people who received it in person, and found that the two settings were equally effective.

One reason for this, according to Darcy, is that CBT focuses on the present as opposed to the past. Instead of talking to Woebot about your relationship with your mother or father, you might chat about a recent conflict at work or an argument you had with a friend.

"A premise of CBT is it's not the things that happen to us — it's how we react to them," Darcy said.

Woebot uses that methodology to identify when someone is engaging in so-called "negative self-talk," which could involve feelings of guilt, shame, or low self-esteem. These types of thoughts stem from a distorted approach to events and relationships, Darcy said.

If a friend forgot about your birthday, you might write a message to Woebot saying, "No one ever remembers me," or "I don't have any real friends." Woebot would probably tell you that you're engaging in a type of negative self-talk called all-or-nothing thinking, which is a distortion of reality. In reality, you do have friends, and people do remember you. One of those friends simply forgot your birthday.

"CBT skills are skills everyone can use," Nancy Liu, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, told Business Insider.

'The data blew us away'

Before launching Woebot, Darcy and her team tested an early version of the tool on 70 college students who had reported symptoms of depression. The results of that study, published in April 2017 in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, Mental Health, were promising. The participating students were split into two groups — one was assigned to chat with Woebot for two weeks, while the other was directed to read an e-book about depression.

Unlike the students in the e-book group, those using Woebot saw a significant reduction in their depressive symptoms. They also reported chatting with the chatbot almost daily despite there being no requirements for how long they spent with it.

"The data blew us away," Darcy told Business Insider in October, when Woebot launched exclusively on Facebook Messenger. "We were like, this is it."

But Darcy is quick to point out that Woebot is not meant to be a replacement for traditional therapy.

"What we haven't done a good job of in [therapy] is give people an array of options. What about the people who aren't ready to talk to another person?" Darcy said. "This is part of the idea of meeting people where they're at."

Digital therapy is booming

Realistically, meeting people where they are today means meeting them on their phones.

"The nice thing about something like Woebot is it's there on your phone while you’re out there living your life," Liu said.

Consistent access is one of the biggest advantages of the tool — it can be easily reached 24/7 with the tap of an icon, unlike a therapist on a 9-5 schedule.

I once chatted with Woebot late at night was when I was feeling panicky — a time when I wouldn't have dared call or text my regular therapist for fear of bothering her. In that moment, when random worried thoughts were playing a mean game of tag in my mind, Woebot provided a bit of perspective and space.

The program is not the only one of its kind, however. Other Silicon Valley-style approaches to addressing depression include apps that replace the traditional psychiatry office with texting, chat rooms where you can discuss your problems anonymously, and services that enable employers to give staff access to therapists and counselors online.

One such digital mental health care service, X2AI, is powered by artificial intelligence and available around the clock, similar to Woebot. But instead of scripted responses, X2AI's tool, named Tess, acts as a sort of liaison between therapists and patients.

"Normally a therapist will see five patients per day and spend the rest of their time on administrative work. What we allow them to do is look after 50 patients per day. Because while they’re chatting with their patients, Tess is chatting with their other patients," Michiel Rauws, the co-founder and CEO of X2AI, told Business Insider.

If a customer suffers from panic attacks that tend to happen more often on Sunday nights, Tess might reach out proactively via text to see how that person is doing, Rauws said, then report the outcome to the person's therapist. Like Woebot, the service isn't meant to replace traditional therapy, but rather to supplement it. The way Darcy sees it, the more new tools like this there are, the better.

Uncharted waters

It's not yet clear whether Woebot will make any noticeable, long term difference for users' mental heath. In academia, researchers study potential ways to help people with mental illness for years before offering a safe and tested intervention that works.

Silicon Valley's tendency is to get the technology to a large group of people quickly, then see if it helped.

"There’s a real divide between the very in-depth analyses of academia, where it’s very slow, and it’s hard to figure out how to scale up, versus the startup world — where a lot of these ventures are being produced — which is rapid iteration and that’s their business model," Matthew Hirschtritt, a resident psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, told Business Insider. "That makes a lot of sense putting it out and seeing if it works, and if it doesn’t try something new. But it’s hard to fit that alongside the academic setting where you do these rigorous analyses on small groups and then slowly get larger."

But the untested nature of mental-health apps is not the biggest risk users face.

'We wanted to be completely anonymous'

As the landscape of digital therapy grows, the biggest concern many users have is privacy.

When Woebot launched on Facebook Messenger in October 2017, the medium garnered several thousand users from around the world. But many customers reported to the company that they weren't comfortable sharing intimate data over Facebook's platform, which has faced privacy issues before.

So in January, Woebot moved away from Facebook and launched as a stand-alone app that only requires a first name to sign up — meaning the app is anonymous, according to Darcy. Giving feedback on the app is also anonymous, she said; even if a customer emails Woebot directly with a concern or suggestion, their email address is not linked to their user profile. Customers can also ask Woebot to delete their account history, wiping all past conversations.

"From our company perspective we have very little data on anybody," Darcy said. "We sort of cut ourselves off from that. Even when people email us, we're like, 'We don't know who you are!' That was a really clear decision from the outset. We wanted to be completely anonymous."

But in the world of mental health, total anonymity can be a double-edged sword.

In the fall of 2016, a therapist who had been employed by the platform Talkspace, an app that connects people to licensed therapists over text message, alleged that the company had violated public safety by keeping the contact information of a potentially dangerous patient anonymous. Talkspace subsequently rewrote its confidentiality policy, stating that if a therapist believes patients are a danger to themselves or others, they should ask the patient for their contact information.

If a Woebot user's words indicate that they might have suicidal or potentially harmful thoughts, the app will flag it and go into what Darcy calls crisis mode. In that case, Woebot will respond with a message explaining what triggered crisis mode and why the situation is beyond the scope of what the app is equipped to handle, Darcy said. Then Woebot will send a list of resources including emergency phone numbers and a link to Tec-Tec, one of the only apps that's been clinically shown to help reduce suicidal thinking and self-harm.

That approach to emergency situations is fairly standard for emerging mental health apps, but it's much less comprehensive than what you'd get with an in-person therapist. If patients voice threats of violence against themselves or others to an in-person therapist, the provider is legally obligated to break confidentiality and intervene. This can involve reporting the patient to the authorities and, in extreme cases, even institutionalizing them.

"With situations like child abuse you can’t just say, 'Here, call this line,'" Liu said. "In a clinical setting that would be unacceptable."

Because Woebot is not a replacement for traditional therapy, it will inevitably fall short for many people. But the app is also likely to help some others — probably tech-savvy individuals who are new to therapy, people in remote areas with no access to traditional therapy, and those who are already in therapy but need some additional help.

"If anything it could be preventive for some people," Liu said. "I don’t see any overt negative effects of someone exploring and learning more."

SEE ALSO: There's new evidence that a 'party drug' could be a rapid-fire treatment for depression

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elesianne · 8 years

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A Silmarillion fanfic, chapter two

Chapter 2 summary: As times turn darker it becomes ever more difficult to see the good in one another.

Story summary: Curufinwë and his wife burn as one flame, but when darkness creeps in nothing is left but embers and then ashes. A study of the disintegration of one marriage among the downfall of the Noldor as a people.

Tag-type thingies (for the whole story): relationships: Curufin/Canonical wife, as well as various family relationships; some keywords: darkening of Valinor, flight of the Noldor, married couple, love, heartbreak, angst, hurt/comfort, then just hurt, sucks to be Celebrimbor

Warnings (for the whole story): Some sexual content, references to violence, emotional distress and cruelty, canonical major character death(s). Also: so much angst, excessive metaphors about fire and light. Rating: I rate this story as Mature to be on the safe side. I chose it because of the general dark mood of the story; sex and violence is very shortly described, nothing graphic.

(Also posted on AO3, DeviantArt and FF.net because I’m overly thorough.)

Chapter notes: This chapter turned out very long but then again, this period wasn't just a year or two, it lasted decades.

Another thing to keep in mind when reading this: while Tolkien kept changing his mind about whether or how the elves had weapons before they came to Valinor, it was clear in all his versions that they led a very peaceful life once they got there, and weapons and fighting (apart from hunting) were not a part of it before Melkor spoke to the Noldor.

Chapter II // Flickering flame

Disagreeing with her husband about the Valar is painful for Netyarë, but even harder is what follows those rebellious murmurings because it touches her more closely. The lack of love that Fëanáro has always had for his half-siblings and for Nolofinwë in particular becomes an enmity and a strife within the House of Finwë, the extended family she married into. Suspicions and jealousies are aroused in both Fëanáro and Nolofinwë, and cordial relations between others, too, become frayed.

The friendships between Maitimo and Findecáno, Tyelcormo and Irissë are sorely tried when their fathers become ever more bitter towards each other and all of Tirion is divided into factions. Nerdanel has always got along well with Indis, and Fëanáro has just about tolerated this; now this friendly relationship becomes yet another cause of argument between Fëanáro and Nerdanel, for she refuses to give it up for his sake.

For Netyarë, all interactions with her husband's family, which used to be easy and pleasant, become fraught with danger of missteps and outbursts.

And Curufinwë suffers terribly from the dissension between his parents, since he loves them both and does not want to choose, and now he feels he must. It is his deep love and loyalty for Fëanáro, and Fëanáro's inflexible nature, that makes him feel torn apart. It is difficult for him to be friendly with his mother when he knows that it vexes his father, and whenever Fëanáro forces his sons to take sides with one of their parents, Curufinwë always chooses his father. It surprises no one but pains him nonetheless.

Yet he speaks little of this pain to Netyarë. More and more he keeps his feelings inside, does not speak of them to her and sometimes even attempts to close off his mind. She would comfort him, in the matter of his parents' conflict at least, if he shared his distress with her; many times she has told him that revealing his fears and sorrows to those who love him is not a weakness, and she has heard Tyelcormo say the same, but Curufinwë seems to believe this less and less. Netyarë's own pride often keeps her from reaching out to him when it might be good if she did, because pleading with him to be honest with her when is reluctant to do so does not make her feel good about herself.

Nerdanel can see the cracks in her son's marriage, though they are still very small compared to the estrangement that seems inevitable between her and Fëanáro now that he ignores her opinions and advice, instead following his passions no matter how they hurt his family.

'Curufinwë and you are not Fëanáro and me; do not let our discord become yours', Nerdanel tells Netyarë one day on a visit. 'There is still much love between you two. Try to protect it from the tensions and unrest among our people.'

Netyarë tries. The silences she and her husband fall into to avoid talk of controversial topics she strives to fill by speaking of things which still unite them – art and craft, the few unproblematic family matters, their son. She tries to remember that Curufinwë is not his father, only similar to him; she tries to cherish the love she feels for her husband instead of resenting it for making things complicated.

You knew what he was like when you married him. It is hypocritical and stupid of you to fret over his flaws now, for you chose them along with choosing him as your own. You even chose his father's influence, though you did not know how extreme his ideas would become. This is what she repeats to herself in difficult moments.

Curufinwë tries too, in his own way. He brings her rich gifts even more often than he used to, breathtakingly beautiful things created by his own hand, so valuable and precious that she gasps when he puts them in her hands, and it is difficult to think of many occasions important enough to wear them.

'You do not need to shower me with gifts', she tells him gently one night in bed while he lays on her brown curls a delicate hairnet wrought of gold and silver and decorated with countless tiny, twinkling gemstones of every possible colour. He came home very late because he had wanted to finish it and give it to her on this night.

'What else would I do?' He speaks sharply but strokes the back of her neck as gently as she had spoken. 'How else would I show how much you mean to me?'

They had had ugly words two weeks ago, and many glacial silences since. It is unusual that Curufinwë is the one to first rekindle warmth, and Netyarë appreciates his effort.

'You just need to love me', she says and lays a hand on his.

Curufinwë takes her words very literally. He lifts the glittering hairnet off her head and sets it on the bedside table, and then kisses her with such infinite tenderness that it makes her want to cry. Instead, she answers his kiss with fire. But he does not allow her to escalate the gentle warmth to the raging flame they often become in bed; he lightly holds her arms down while he sweetly touches and kisses every inch of her body as if to show how dear all of her is to him, and for this night the silence between them is driven away by the soft noises she makes.

Curufinwë does not tell Netyarë when he begins with his father and brothers to hammer out weapons and shields instead of the beautiful useful and ornamental objects they used to make. Tyelcormo, believing that his younger brother has told his wife, lets it slip one day in a conversation between the three of them, and she is devastated.

That night they shout at each other as loud as they dare, trying not to wake Tyelperinquar but unable to keep their feelings inside. Netyarë, as hurt that he kept this a secret from her as she is horrified that he is creating instruments of killing, demands that he tell her what or who they intend to use these weapons against.

'We make swords so that we can defend ourselves against betrayal', Curufinwë says in a voice of cold steel.

'Betrayal like hiding things from your own wife?' she slashes back. 'That is the only kind of betrayal I see in our land.'

He flinches and says between ground teeth, 'I did not tell you because I knew you would be like this. You don't understand.'

'No, I do not! Make me understand, Curufinwë, if you can.'

He cannot, and this incident makes her no more receptive to the ideas espoused by Fëanáro and Curufinwë. And the knowledge that he lied to her stays with her, haunting her thoughts.

In fact, over time, all the things they thought they had left behind before they even fell in love come back to haunt them: the greatness of his family, the insignificance of hers, and the difference in between. His pride and superiority, her pride and conviction that in many ways that matter, his family is no more valuable than hers. His temper, its flames hidden but ever present; his father, and his unswerving loyalty.

And new causes of disagreement arise as well: her close friendship with his mother, which had before been a source of joy also for Curufinwë but is now a point of contention within the family, and her refusal to stop painting commissions for lords who don't support Fëanáro unquestioningly (there are few of those commissions, anyway, and eventually they stop entirely).

Once again, in order not to widen the gulf between them, they avoid talking about the things that cause them to quarrel: their differing opinions on the Valar, Nolofinwë and his house, the weapons.

Yet it is difficult to get along, and different from before. They are both different. Curufinwë tries to keep his temper in check, to speak coolly and act rationally even though his father's anger rages also in him. Some of the time he succeeds in controlling himself, but not nearly always. To Netyarë it seems that he is steel and quicksilver by turns, and she cannot keep up with him. She begins to grow tired of trying, and resentful with him for forcing her to accommodate his moods while she is unhappy herself.

There is a fire in him, this she has always known. But it has only ever warmed her or burnt her in the most pleasurable of ways before, never leaving marks she did not cherish. Now she grows afraid of being burnt; being truly afraid is a new sensation, and she discovers that she hates it.

Once when the two of them are leaving Finwë's palace and some of Nolofinwë's most fervent supporters corner them and strike up a conversation, she sees Curufinwë dig his fingernails into his palms as he attempts to rein in his temper, to speak in measured words rather than let out the furious shout that is already on the tip of his tongue. He presses his nails in so hard that after a few moments, she sees drops of blood swell up.

She makes up an excuse, something to do with herself, so that they can quickly leave the tense conversation. As they walk away both of them hold themselves straight and proud, her hand on his arm in a show of support, he fitting his longer strides to her shorter ones. This is all easy and instinctive, their public facade that became routine years ago.

Words are harder. Curufinwë says nothing, just stares ahead with his jaw drawn tight. Pity and irritation vie for control of Netyarë's tongue; pity wins out when she sees another crimson drop fall from his still-bleeding hand on to the skirts of her dress that thankfully is a dark pink shade, garnet-like, and does not show the blood very clearly.

'You can tell me', she says quietly. 'Whatever it is you wanted to say to them, you can tell me now. I will listen, and it might make you feel better.'

'It isn't anything that you want to hear.'

'I would still hear it if you would tell me.'

He does not. He says nothing and he conceals his feelings from her, and they walk home in fraught silence. Thankfully the bleeding stops before they get there.

Netyarë is sorry that once again he chose not to share a burden with her. She understands that he needs to hone his control over himself to keep his temper in check when tensions rise, but must he also keep her at arm's length? It happens more and more, him not accepting her offers of help, and it makes things harder for her, too.

That night in bed, when he finally turns to her in search of the comfort to be found in her arms, she tells him, 'You are too cold and too hot to me in turns.'

'But I love you.' He seems genuinely confused and upset, and a little desperate.

Is love enough after all? Afraid of the answer, she does not ask out loud.

Though they try to avoid speaking of their disagreements, the issues that cause strife between them and in their whole society inevitably keep coming up and as they grow ever more frustrated with each other, Curufinwë's arguments in particular become more personal and his words more direct and vicious.

'It is a grave betrayal indeed if the Valar truly brought us here so that we live in thraldom while they give the rest of the world to the second-comers', Netyarë concedes to him one day. 'But what proof do we have of them doing that?'

Instead of answering her question, he tells her harshly that she does not understand that she is a thrall of the Valar, and he does, for one simple reason: 'You are from the lower classes, and thus you are used to being ruled and have never imagined ruling a land of your own; you cannot imagine it. My family can.'

In their decades of marriage Curufinwë has never reminded her of her humbler background in a cruel way; in spite of his arrogance and pride, he has always treated her as his equal. If he had not, she thinks she would not have married him or indeed have been capable of loving him.

Now she sees that he regrets his words as soon as he says them, but he cannot take them back: they are between them now, another wall pushing them apart. She knows that he meant what he said, even if he wishes he had not said it out loud. And perhaps he is even right; she doesn't know if he is. But reminding her of her lower birth in that manner felt like cruelty, and it felt like the man she loves telling her that she is of less worth than he is. This she finds difficult to forgive even when he eventually apologises.

It becomes harder and harder for Netyarë to not act cold towards him at home, and to not let resentment usurp love's place in her heart. Supporting him in public is hard, too: standing silently by her man is against her nature, especially when what he says goes against what she believes. Yet she does it for a while, just stands there looking aloof or smiling, whichever is appropriate, thankful that she is better at pretending than many.

Then she begins to avoid all easily avoidable social events, and then the ones that are harder to skip, too, to avoid the pretence that is starting to make her feel sick to her stomach.

She throws herself into her work and into caring for Tyelperinquar; his father still spends a lot of time teaching him but Netyarë believes that far from giving their son all that he needs, Curufinwë's attention may well leave Tyelpë needing more of the gentler care that she can provide. Tyelpë may have already grown to be taller than his mother, but Netyarë thinks he still needs kind words and encouragement, not just Curufinwë and Fëanáro's strict tuition and high expectations. He may look eerily similar to them, but he is unlike his father and grandfather in temper.

Netyarë and Curufinwë have one of the worst fights so far, or at least the one that most greatly widens the rift between them though it is not as loud as some of the others, on a day he comes home with Tyelperinquar unexpectedly early. Their timing is not the only unexpected thing: to her horror, when she comes to greet them Netyarë sees that her son is swaying on his feet and being supported by Curufinwë, and Tyelpë's right arm is in a sling and his face covered in bruises, a particularly vivid one forming around one of his eyes.

'What happened?' she breathes in horror to Curufinwë as she hurries to help Tyelpë sit down in a comfortable chair.

Curufinwë looks like he is searching for words; her eyes narrow at him even as Tyelperinquar hastens to reassure his mother. 'Don't worry, mother, it was just –' He winces and touches his bruised jaw. 'It was just an accident. I will be fine.'

'He will be fine, really, Netyarë', adds his father. 'We already saw a healer, and it is only a broken elbow, the rest is just bruises –'

'What kind of an accident was this?' Her voice is low as she speaks to Curufinwë; it would be furious if she did not want to avoid upsetting Tyelpë. 'I though you two were going to work at the forge today. How did he come to be bruised, bones broken? It seems more like a hunting accident, yet he has never before come home from a hunting trip looking like this.' She gestures at their son's wretched state.

'We changed our plans.' Curufinwë moves his hands behind his back as if he has something to hide, but she has had enough time to see that his knuckles are bloody, too.

Tyelpë has been coming home with battered knuckles on many nights recently, Netyarë thinks, and moving stiffly as if after great exertion. And acting a little strangely with me.

'Are you training him to fight?' she asks her husband with deathly calm. 'Have you been hiding that you are teaching him to kill as you hid from me that you were forging weapons to kill with?'

'Mother, please –' says Tyelperinquar in a pained voice. He has always hated to see his parents quarrel, and this seems more serious and dangerous than most of their disagreements.

Netyarë tears her gaze off her husband's chilly and angry eyes, but she still feels his shame and anger in the connection between them as she turns to Tyelperinquar and speaks softly to him. 'Did the healer already give you something for the pain?'

'Yes, that's why I am a little dazed.' Tyelpë shakes his head as if to clear it.

She tells Curufinwë to help their son to his bed and herself goes to gather a few things to make him comfortable. When she comes to Tyelpë's room she tells her husband to leave and thankfully he departs without a word of protest, only telling Tyelpë that he will feel better soon.

'I am sure I will, father', Tyelpë says dreamily, already half-way to Lórien.

Netyarë stays until he falls asleep, and for a long time after. She can hear her blood pounding in her ears as she watches her sleeping son, dearer to her than anything else in the world. She had thought that Curufinwë felt the same way about Tyelpë, whatever his other faults. So how could he allow him to be hurt, even by accident?

Eventually she rises and goes to find her husband. To his credit, he has not run away to his own father but stayed at home. She finds him in his study pretending to work but really just staring at the ledger in front of him.

She sits in the chair in front of his desk, opposite him, on opposite sides of the table and the argument that they both know will begin as soon as she opens her mouth.

'Will you tell me about the fighting training you have been doing with him.' It is a command, not a question.

As tonelessly as if he were talking about something completely insignificant, Curufinwë recounts how he with his father and brothers had first began to practise martial skills amongst themselves and then, later, taught others, loyal followers of Fëanáro.

'And our son, whom you have made into a loyal follower of your father.' Netyarë is controlled in her anger as usual, but this time it is for her child being hurt, and her fury and grief infuse every seemingly calm word with power. The incandescence of it feels almost too much to bear.

'It is the custom for sons to be loyal to their fathers, as he is to me and I am to my father.'

She cannot believe that he is seeking defence in platitudes. 'As it is for husbands to be honest with their wives! Still, I should probably have grown accustomed to you lying to me by now. But this time you made him lie to me, too, and that I cannot forgive.'

'We have not lied to you about this, we have merely not spoken –'

'That is lying by omission and you know it very well, and so should Tyelpë! But then this has been a good opportunity for you to teach him deception and dissembling along with fighting, has it not? Since you have always thought him too forthright and open.'

'He is too open with his feelings and thoughts, Netyarë, and it is dangerous.' Curufinwë, too, seems desperate as well as angry.

'More dangerous than what made him come home today battered, barely on his feet? How did he come to be hurt so, if you were only training?'

'One cannot practise these things without risk. Tyelcormo misjudged his strength, and Tyelpë misjudged the distance –' Curufinwë stops speaking when he sees Netyarë biting her fist to keep calm, tears gathering in her eyes. 'I am so sorry that he got hurt, my love. I did not wish it.' Oddly, he never lays aside endearments even during their fights. Perhaps he considers them another weapon in his arsenal.

'Are you laying the blame on your brother?' She wipes away tears, unhappy that her anger is turning into sorrow so fast. She cannot afford to be soft, because her husband will never truly be.

'No, he was only sparring with Tyelpë because I asked him to. Because he is the best of us in this, and I want Tyelpë to learn from the best.' Curufinwë swallows. 'I misjudged too. I asked more of Tyelpë than he was ready for.'

'You keep doing that', she tells him, exhausted with this old argument. 'Why, Curvo? Why do you keep rushing his learning in the forge, and now in fighting?'

'Because he needs to learn these things.'

'But surely there is no such hurry, no need to risk hurting him or to drive him to exhaustion. There is time.'

Curufinwë looks like he wants to argue this point, and Netyarë wonders, Is there not? Why do you think so? What do you keep expecting to happen?

'Do not treat me like a child or a servant, Curufinwë', she warns him. 'I am your wife, and I have the right to know if you are planning something.'

Do you? he asks her, if only in his mind, and Netyarë knows that they are now searching for the limits of the roles of a man and a woman, of a wife and husband's relative rights. Their marriage has been more equal than many others, until now at least.

'Things may not always be as they are now. Times change', is all he says in the end.

'I know that.' To her pain, she does know it. She pauses, controls her temper to be able to drive her point across. 'But I still don't understand what it is that you need Tyelpë to learn to protect himself against.'

Once again, instead of an answer and understanding there is only silence.

'I am very sorry for lying to you', Tyelperinquar tells her the next day as they sit eating lunch together. Since his better hand is out of use, she cuts his food for him as she has not done for many decades.

'I know your father told you to do it or you would not have lied.' Tyelpë's freely given admission that he had indeed lied makes it even easier for her to forgive him. 'I understand your loyalty, but I also wish you know that you can tell me anything.'

'I know.' Tyelpë stabs at his food with his fork. 'Did father apologise too?'

She knows this is his way of asking if his parents have reconciled. 'In his own way, he did.'

Curufinwë had acted more decently than she had expected by saying that he was sorry that Tyelperinquar had been hurt and by admitting that he had made a mistake, and even though he had not actually apologised for lying, her treacherous heart has half-forgiven him. But she doubts she can ever wholly forgive putting Tyelpë in danger, and she certainly will not forget it.

'There will be no shouting between your father and me tonight', she assures her son. One night's peace is a pitiful promise, but she dares not promise more since she does not want to end up a liar too.

'I will keep training to fight better, once my arm heals', Tyelperinquar says after a while. 'I am sorry if it causes you grief, mother, but it is what men of our family do now. And I am almost grown up.'

'I know, my darling.' How could she not, when it feels like every day she has to look farther up to meet his gaze? She wishes he were still the bright-eyed little boy who found safety enough in her arms, but time marches on inexorably and he must find his own place in the world. It seems to be by his father's side, as little as she likes it.

'Your father is demanding with you, but he is proud of you, and he does love you too.' She hates herself for making apologies for Curufinwë, but even more she wants Tyelperinquar to be happy, and he needs to know that he is loved by the father he follows in all things.

'It's all right, mother. I know that he loves me.' Her son's grey eyes, the shape and colour of them exactly like hers, are filling again with light and warmth.

'I am glad to hear that.' She manages to give him a weak smile that seems to reassure him that she is all right – he is not as good at seeing though pretences as either of his parents, and sometimes even Netyarë worries about it. But he is otherwise smart and strong, and he has a generosity of heart that she cherishes even if Curufinwë thinks it a vulnerability, a weakness.

As they finish their meal in silence, an easy and comfortable one, Netyarë looks at Tyelperinquar with tenderness and thinks, Somehow you do always know that your father loves you, my dear boy. You remember it, but I think it has been a long time since he last told you so.

She is so proud of her bright, brave son, and as long as she has him she could never regret marrying Curufinwë.

Then one day, after countless days of growing tensions, Fëanáro strides into the King's council hall armoured and armed and threatens Nolofinwë with his sword. Curufinwë and his other sons go with him to the Ring of Doom when he is summoned to answer to the Valar for this deed, and for his words of rebellion.

Netyarë does not go. She had been at home with Tyelperinquar when her father-in-law committed his rash folly, and she has nothing to testify. The days she waits for news from Taniquetil are tense and filled with shadows that whisper questions at her.

The shadows ask her how she will bear it if the man who returns to her is even harder to love than he was before. What if, in this matter and during all years to come, he keeps siding with his father and disregarding her views and her happiness? How much longer can she tolerate being placed second in the affections of the one to whom she bound herself by supposedly eternal ties of love?

What will she do if things do not get better, only worse? The question echoes in the empty rooms of their big house. Could she ever yield, abase herself and accept whatever scraps of affection Curufinwë condescends to spare her, remaining loyal and loving in return for very little? Or will she be like Nerdanel, living in the same house with her husband but leading completely separate lives, their former devotion and intimacy only a painful memory? Perhaps she will try to drive him away from the house they lovingly made their shared home years ago, because at some point she can no longer stand the sight of him…

She does not know how to find a path back to happiness, but the thought of losing him tears at her heart. We have not had seven children and brought them to adulthood together, we have not had centuries of loving each other; I am not ready to give up on you yet.

When we chose each other you promised me a forever. It is turning out to be a very short time.

A/N: I tried to show in this long chapter that the disintegration of this marriage is not a straight descent from happiness to estrangement but a gradual process with better moments scattered amid the increasing alienation.

Fëanor is now well on his way to becoming 'terrible dad Fëanor' and Curufin's not doing too hot either, thus the 'Sucks to be Celebrimbor' tag. Netyarë's not perfect either, of course, but this is written from her POV so we perhaps see her flaws less clearly. And she is in a very difficult situation.

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