#and it’s EXHAUSTING
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So hey, in case anyone on Jumblr organizes “pluralistic” Jewish programming that is meant to be inclusive of Jews from any movements… please remember that being inclusive means making activities accessible to those who are halachically observant?
Because it is so frustrating and painful, as someone who believes in the value of pluralism and wants to connect with Jews both like and unlike me, to be repeatedly slapped in the face with the realization that 90% of the time I cannot participate in most non-Orthodox-specific Jewish communal opportunities because of my Judaism.
The food isn’t kosher, the bonfire is in the middle of Shabbat, the party conflicts with Megillah reading, Havdalah is hours before sunset…
And though I doubt it’s usually coming from a place of deliberate exclusion, the message it sends regardless of intent is You are not wanted.
#jumblr#frumblr#judaism#Jewish pluralism#dandelion says#Jewish dandelion#intracommunity issues#the everyday struggles of being observantly jewish#it was like this as a kid and it was like this in college and it’s like this as an adult#and it’s exhausting#and it makes it so tempting to just go ‘well they don’t want me? I don’t want them either’#which defeats the purpose of pluralism
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i know i’m just a silly writing blog but i hope you know that this is also a blog for the girlies (gn) who never feel like they can fit in anywhere. that wherever they go they feel like they can never 100% truly be themselves with almost anyone. the ones who feel like their soul is too big for the body they’ve been given. the ones who feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing and they’re just stranded in the storm. the ones who feel like their presence is never fully appreciated by others and just “tolerated”. i see you, i hear you, and i love you.
#life isn’t always kind or easy#especially when you feel a certain way or have a not so nice image ingrained of yourself in your mind#but i am here to say i am 100% rooting for you#because i get it#oh boy do i get it#and it’s exhausting#there are some days (like this week and last) where i genuinely thought i was losing my mind#but you and i are still here#still persisting even if it isn’t linear#and i love you for it.#𓆩⟡𓆪 — siren’s song
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Sigh. Long, heavy, extremely dramatic sigh.
Believe me nonnie, I know
#maeve.txt#ask#dear nonnies#for context: Andy has been going off the past few days on twitter about The Tour and A Certain Frontman Who I Will Not Name#and it’s exhausting#and that’s all I’m gonna say about it here bc I’m trying to stay drama free here
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Me, literally shaking in place because oh, I have so many ideas and things I wanna write and read and draw and—
*stares at the blank page for two hours*
#“It's amazing that you're so creative and full of ideas and–”#“IT'S A FUCKING CURSE”#“MY MIND IS A RACEHORSE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO WALK”#THAT'S HOW IT FEELS SOME DAYS#AND IT’S EXHAUSTING
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#feeling unlovable#and fat#and disgusting#my self esteem is literally nonexistent right now#and it’s exhausting
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I think I need to be in a work environment where I don’t have to feel obligated to be friends with everyone all my coworkers at school are all close and I feel like I’m just there and I’m always physically hurting keeping up this mask of friendliness 24/7 it’s so much pressure on me to force myself into conversation bc everybody is friends with each other like I need to be in a place where I can do a job ignore my coworkers and go home. my social battery is always draining and idk how long I can keep doing this
#they are#the nicest and coolest ppl I’ve ever met but I don’t think I’ll ever be apart of the group#I just don’t feel it’s gonna happen the way I am#and it’s exhausting
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spring moving, spring cleaning, spring sickness
#a season!#my favorite#But early spring loves to do so much#looks and feels almost exactly like winter#but things are happening#and it’s exhausting
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#this is staying in the tags for now but#i think this conversation will go in circles and circles and circles#but when it boils down to it way too many people here are being entirely performative about what’s going on#not! at all! saying this is everyone but. it’s an overall feeling of . what else can i do to Show Off that i care about xyz?#like okay change ur url and say whatever but if you’re openly criticizing the way people esp people in the groups that have been hurt here#are reacting and dealing with it on their own and saying whatever they’re saying? you don’t have any place to say that. sorry#for so so many people this isn’t even about tumblr and fanspace and . being a fan of someone or their art#this is just a tiny snippet of what goes on in real life and what continues to go on in real life in everyday life#and it’s EXHAUSTING#so maybe just. check yourself before you start judging people for how they’re handing themselves#esp if they’re part of a specific group of people affected by the words of yknow. someone’s current boyfriend#this has been a rant
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Sometimes it’s just not worth it to even argue with someone about something no matter how badly you want to do so bc you know this person and their aggressive personality won’t let it go, will just talk over you, not listen, and will just pick and pick at you no matter what you say. So you just have to sit and listen to this person bitch about whatever and force yourself to remain silent bc it’s not worth it. i know it’s not worth it, there’s no point, it will only lead to more frustration, just stay silent. I’m exhausted just sitting here and listening, imagine how much worse it would be if you engaged. Don’t do it
#this coworker of mine tho#like I like her but she is one of those aggressive personality types#and they are the absolute WORST to have a confrontation with#I just let her bitch at me let her act like a martyr let her think she won#bc she is relentless in her arguing#and it’s exhausting#even when I’m not even involved and she just wants to complain#like it’s not even aimed at me and I’m exhausted by the time she’s done ranting about whatever it is#it’s so hard not talking back#especially when she’s wrong or overreacting#but don’t tell her that oooohhh no#like girl please why does your every reaction have to immediately be so volatile?#I don’t think this situation requires this level of aggression from you#like I get it you are stressed at work but damn!#you don’t have to be so harsh#stress is no excuse
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Now presenting, how I annotate scenes/take notes: important plot stuff, other important plot stuff, Argyle what’s your deal dude, and that gay shit(affectionate). Green, purple, pink, yellow. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
#there’s actually more colours involved but#those are the main ones#why’d they have to go and make things so complicated#there’s like three different things happening at any given time#and it’s exhausting#because I haven’t figured out how exactly they’re all supposed to work#it’s still really vague right now#but we’re getting somewhere
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i need older butch women in my life this is so lesbophobic
#lesbian#butch lesbian#bro i am feeling so lost right now#and i can’t even articulate it#like my social personality is conflicting with my gender presentation and i can’t fix it#it’s also like i don’t have the money to begin transitioning towards more masc stuff#and i don’t know where to begin#like yeah i got jeans and a couple old t-shirts but#i don’t have the energy#and it’s exhausting#like i wish there were role models in my local community#but i don’t even know where to go#also i live in a red state so like :/
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People turning against Chappell Roan for not accepting harassment & stalking of her and her family, saying Hozier is acting embarrassing for defending his girlfriend THAT Y'ALL WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT after she got harassed online, calling Pedro Pascal names for.. apparently not greeting fans loudly in his own private time?
Y'all have GOT to get a grip on real life if you think celebs establishing boundaries is working against you. You do not know these people, you will not sleep with these people and they do not owe you anything!!!!!!
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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