#and it wont have heavy angst lol

[dazed--xx]

Hello! I love your fake texts and I religiously check you blog for new stuff thats how much i love them 🥹 I was hoping you could do a hyunjin scenario where he likes y/n and y/n likes him too but they're just friends and y/n thinks he could never see them as more than a friend so y/n's other friend has a big crush on hyunjin and y/n is so nice so when y/ns other friend asks to set them up with hyunjin y/n tries to by trying to talk up their friend to hyunjin and trying to convince him to go out with their other friend - you can decide where it goes from there thank you so much! 🩵

Honestly, at first i was gonna say I wont write this ngl. I typically don't like this type of prompt, I hate when this scenario pops up in the manga and manhwa I read. BUT then people just kinda hype me up when I take tired ass scenarios (No offense sorry) and make them my own. so I will be doing this, now I cant promise it will follow your prompt to a tea but do note that it will for sure have

Hyunjin and Y/N will like each other

friend will be either shitty, oblivious or a decent person

Y/N will have to try to set up friend with Hyunjin

this shit will be angsty, cant promise a happy ending I'm not too big on those but my readers like to bully me into them anyway (complete joke)

also how far can i go? i feel like some people don't realize the lines I'm willing to cross for a good story so from like a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being almost sunshine and rainbows and 10 being a Tsunami of angst and sadness? i feel like I'm not gonna get an answer but others considering making a request yall should let me know from now on. i mean one of my OT8 y/n's is the survivor of a serial killer people. like non con is the tip of the fucked up mental iceberg I'm willing to write like when october hits yall are gonna be traumatized with my Spooktober masterlist, BTW I'm doing a Spooktober event (We kinky but not in our works too much these days, but the first day will be a smut/horror fic. Just won’t be smut focused)

anyway, im writing this like legit right as I'm answering this so that's why I'm Rambling but like who cares right get into my mind. anyway if you could message me with the how far I could go question lol like mild angst, medium angst, or heavy angst id appreciate that

[tiredandwireds-blog]

@jennalistening i got u

Ok here's a list of all the best Dick and Damian(mostly with father/son dynamics) fics imo. Pls dont judge me.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40095006

The Stowaway (5099 words) by LittleLadybugs

Short sweet and fluffy! Damian sneaks a cat into the penthouse and struggles to keep it hidden. At least Dick always has his back!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32923282

Emergency Contact by DawnsEternalLight for grousemouse

Hilarious and cute! Damian gets attacked on a school trip and is just the way youd expect him to be lol. Dick freaks out ofc

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49322866

my shoulders are heavy already by a_alene

Ughhh its sooo goodddd! Damian and Dick sickfic cannot recommend enoughhh plsplspls read ittt

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36304804

a chance to celebrate by emavee

So cuteee! The batfam throws a party to celebrate Dick adopting Damian. Its such a cute story that gives insight into each characters feelings and its also fluffy as hell!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46392967

Father's Day (we were the best) by InkpotSprite

Damian decides to celebrate Dick on Mother's and Father's Day lol cute and absolutely hilarious!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40260231

I'll Carry You by BrickSheep

BrickSheep puts it best with the tag Comfort No Hurt. Its exactly as the title says dick carries damian and i get a rush of dopamine lol

https://archiveofourown.org/series/890946

I Saw Grayson Kissing Santa Claus by pupeez4eva

Damian becomes convinced Santa is after Dick Bruce is confused and Jason is evil. So pretty par for the course lol. Tbh tho this fic had me laughing so hard my sides hurt an absolute beautiful nightmare to read

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51531457

The Ping-Pong Wars by fadesfanfic

Stephanie and Damian bonding! Dick being worried over Damian! And oh the shenanigans! Its beautiful and sweet and funny and iloveitsomuchhh

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28186434

Paint Cans and Sneaking Out by CarrionCarnival

Damian sneaks out to do some graffiti and tries not to get caught lol. Cute and fun. A whole new look for Damian that I loveee

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22544392

The R Stands for – by Cirth

A beautifully written look into Damian's adjustment to his new home. Honestly made me cry ngl but sometimes you need that

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52221118

Obsolete Tools and Tangible Miseries by Corybantic

Ok we def in angst territory now gang! Damian thinks hes nothong but a weapon and Dick helps convince him otherwise. Read at your own risk cause i was sobbinggg

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37052449

the city without stars in its skies by Alienu

Ok i literally just reread this one anddd. Ughhhh im dyingggg. Damian is sent to kill Officer Dick Grayson you see where this is goinggg its so gooddd plsreadplsreadplsread

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40538418

Home Is Where the Heart Is by LittleLadybugs

Ok ill admit this ones more batfam focused then just dick and dami but still. So good. Dick is adopted by Slade not Bruce and goes running to blüdhaven to hide from him. Sadly the Birds wont leave hime alone

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22395412

Not by Blood, Maybe by Heart by Ellegrine

Ok we back to fluff now lol. Damian loves his brothers even if he never says it. In this fic he shows it by protecting Dicks honor lol

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18296282

Still the Best by Cdelphiki

3 great fics all in one spot! Literally some of the best stuff ive ever read! Iloveitiloveitiloveit pls readdd

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918887

Catch Me (All Records Indicate) by Engineerd

The evolution of the nickname lil D. Cute and so sweet. Short but such a comfort read

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29866386

This Too Shall Pass by DarthPeezy

Just oh. just so so goodddd. Another gorgeous look at Damian adjusting to his new life with the batfam tho this one is more plot directed and ohmygosh did that plot have me in a death grip

And finally my top 2 fav fics:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718083

Throughout Infinity by flumen

Damian is sent to an alternate universe and meets young justice Dick and crew. Ok no summary i can do will do this fic justice just know i read this in one sitting and immediately felt my sense of priorities and my mind shift. No joke this changed me.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021464

3:16 by partingxshot

AAAHHHH

Ok now i can talk abt this. Im in the process of rereading this AGAIN bc i literally cannot be left alone. Ok quick summary: each chapter follows Dick and Damian adjusting to their new life as Batman and Robin. I feel like most everyone who is in love with the dynamic between Dick and Damian has read this fic but i cant leave it out bc its literally my fav fic EVER. i will never be normal abt this fic if you havent read it yet plspls do

[wonuwrites]

OT13 Seventeen’s Reaction to you being a Swiftie during “The Tortured Poets Department” release date.

A/N: It’s been an emotional 24ish hours because Taylor Swift gave us 31 fucking new songs and they all hurt so good. Expect some angsty things from me based off some of these songs soon LOL. Side note, this wont be perfect because it’s 1:30 am and I’m feeling feelings. I hope y’all enjoy regardless.

Warning: minor angst, major fluff, mentions some alcohol stuff, The Tortured Poets Department is an emotional roller coaster and has some heavy topics. Listen at own risk but also hear the tea LMAO

P.S dedicating this to @lavnderwonu bc yup. #wow

✫ S Coups

Seungcheol walked through the door at 2 am and saw you sitting at the kitchen table with a worn out look on your face. He noticed in front of you, ice cream that had been half melted waiting for you to take another bite. He knew that you were waiting up for Taylor Swifts new album and from what he had heard from you, this potentially would be the saddest album to date. Yes, even more sad than Red. He stood there for a while unsure what to say which made you look up at him.

“Babe… she released a double album. We’ve been clowning a double since 1989 era back in 2014 and she finally did it.”

He raised an eyebrow at this and sat next to you, “well thats good right? Your clowning was finally successful?”

You scoffed before rubbing your mouth and looking him in the eyes, “I mean yeah, but like. It’s so fucking sad. I can’t believe he did this to her.”

Seungcheol just softly smiled while taking the spoon from your hand so he could scoop himself some ice cream as well. He didn’t know much about Taylor lore but he did think she was a talented artist. “Well I got a few hours, show me the album.”

✫ Jeonghan

Jeonghan found your love for Taylor to be precious. So when he found out in February she was releasing a new album he asked if there was anything he could do to help prepare you for the album release.

That’s when you decided to do a Swiftie 101 with Jeonghan and told him all the lore behind whats been going on since the Reputation Era to now. At first he was skeptical at having to need to know that much background information but he learned to love watching you talk about something you cared about so passionately.

When it was time for the album to be released, he was ready. He wrote down questions he had while you both listened to the album because he didn’t want to interrupt your experience of listening to the song for the first time. He held your hand when “So Long London” came on and coo’d when you cried during “loml” while wiping a tear from your eye. He made a mental note to thank Taylor Swift if he ever met her for being able to give his partner and him a bonding experience.

✫Joshua

Hell, Joshua was with you on the couch and clowning with you while watching the Grammys. You were positive Reputation (Taylor’s Version) was going to be announced at the Grammys and tbh Joshua believed your assumptions were right as always.

When Taylor announced her new album instead of Reputation TV, both of your mouths dropped. It was a new era. You both then decided to start planning on spending time with each other that night. He knew he was pushing it just a bit because Seventeens album was coming out the next week but he also knew he wanted to be there for you in case it was emotional. Which, was pretty much a given it was going to be because it was called “The Tortured Poets Department.”

When the day finally came, you both made friendship bracelets and ate some snacks while enjoying the mastery of her pen. You both found the album to be extremely well done.

✫Jun

Jun was not sure what to expect when you had become a bit distant the last few weeks. You were talking to him less and less and it honestly was causing him some concerns. Did he do something wrong? Were you dying? Were you okay?

He decided to do what anyone would do and come over unannounced with flowers and your favorite Take Out. He was not expecting to see you sobbing on the couch with smeared eyeliner and mascara as you were reading the lyrics to a new song off of Taylor’s new album called “The Prophecy.”

You didn’t notice Jun standing there awkward as your heart broke into a million pieces as you thought about how you were before you met Jun. You were so blessed to have him in your life but you just felt sick that Blondie was feeling that way. Once the song ended you finally saw Jun and started crying harder and that’s when it hit him.

Album release day.

Similar thing had happened after Midnights dropped and you heard “You’re On Your Own Kid.” He then brought over your food and listened while you babbled to him about “The Prophecy” and why it was the saddest song you had ever heard.

✫Hoshi

“Hey Soonyoung I have a question for you,” you asked him while spinning Ramen around in your bowl. This made your boyfriend look up worried. One because you called him his real name and not “baby” and two, he never could tell what type of question you would ask.

He cleared his throat while giving you a concerned look which made you giggle. That giggle made his fears increase but he decided to humor you. Maybe you were finally going to ask him something simple like: “would you still love me if I was a worm?”

However, he just wasn’t that lucky.

“So Taylor Swift’s album “The Tortured Poets Department” is coming out soon and I was wondering if you could break up with me before it so I can feel it.”

Soonyoung was absolutely flabbergasted and shook his head no quickly. This made you while and pathetically try to beg but Soonyoung stood his ground and crossed his arms.

“Baby, you’re going to have to use imagination for that because I can’t ever break up with you. Just thinking of doing that hurts me.”

“I know baby, but hear me out, this album is rumored to be about her breakup of 6 years. I wanna cry with her.” Soonyoung shook his head no again with his lips pursed. He knew you loved Taylor but he loved you so much more. He’d do anything for you but not that. Even if it was temporary or fake.

✫ Wonwoo

Similarly to Jeonghan, Wonwoo got the Swiftie 101 class except yours happened while y’all were snuggling before bed randomly one evening.

Therefore, he knew the drill and knew how to be a supportive Swiftie boyfriend. Did he have your favorite wine? Check. Did he have tissues? Check. Did he have a shoulder to cry on if you needed it? You’re in luck, he has two!

He poured you both a glass of wine as you pressed play on Fortnight (which he was looking forward to because Post Malone is the man.) After a few songs you had already downed your wine and he quickly refilled it making you blush and thank him quietly. You both then listened to the remainder of the album and he’d give the famous wonu smile whenever you were guessing who the songs were about. Heck, after a while, even he joined in on the guessing game.

✫Woozi

Unknown to you, Jihoon had pre-saved TTPD and listened to it in his studio within a minute of it coming out. While he didn’t know about the lore or any behind the scenes things about Taylor Swift he focused on the lyrics and production of the songs and was impressed. He made little notes to talk to you about them when he got home.

Once he got home at about 3:30 am, he noticed you were sitting with your legs against your chest still listening to the album. He smiled at you and sat beside you. You leaned against him sighing as he wrapped his arms around you to cuddle. He knew you felt sad because of the album and honestly it was sad so he didn’t blame you one bit.

“So she released an additional 15 songs,” you said after awhile which made Jihoon raise an eyebrow. He only listened to the first 16 songs and suddenly he didn’t feel as prepared.

“15???”

“15!”

“Damn… well iI got notes on the first 16 songs if you wanna talk about those.”

This made you sit up with a smile which made Jihoon smile as well before leaning in to kiss you. “Deal.”

✫ DK

Like Jun, Seokmin had witnessed Midnights album release with you along with the Taylor’s Versions of both Speak Now and 1989. He thought he was mentally prepared for this Album but he was so wrong.

Y’all had just finished “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” and when “Down Bad” started he officially felt his heart break.

It was as if Seokmin and your tear ducts were synced as tears fell down both of your faces. At that moment, Seokmin made an oath to you he would never put you in a situation that Taylor unfortunately had to endure.

Once you finally got through all 16 songs and both were ready to fall asleep, Taylor announced and additional 15. Seokmin just looked at the announcement in disbelief before sitting up and saying “okay baby, lets cry some more.”

✫ Mingyu

To be honest, Mingyu loved doing the scavenger hunts that Taylor and Taylor Nation had the swifties do. He found it so interesting the little clues and everything they had that he was a bit jealous they didn’t have something like that with Seventeen. It was a brilliant idea and a great way to bring some excitement to the table for a new album.

Watching you bite your lip as you looked through older songs of hers on Apple Music to find the clues was so attractive to him and he’d look into your eyes as you shared theories on what Tortured Poets would be about.

He just found you so precious and loved these little moments together with you and was happy to be there.

✫ Minghao

Minghao promised to listen to the new album with you but he couldn’t help but feel upset at what was being talked about.

It wasn’t that he didn’t think it was good. He was just so disappointed in whoever Taylor was singing about because of the infidelity, lying, and just treating her like garbage. His heart then hurt when you innocently told him the lyrics were relatable.

Minghao knew you had a rough relationship prior to yours and it made him sad that he wasn’t able to be there sooner so he could help you overcome the hurt. He tried his best to hide the rage and hurt he felt empathetically to you in hopes not to ruin the album for you. However, you knew. You knew how he felt and while you never would tell him, you fell more in love with him at that moment. How beautiful it was to finally have someone who you know could never hurt you like that again.

✫ Seungkwan

Similarly to Joshua and Wonwoo, Seungkwan stayed up to listen to the album with you. It was a tradition you both did for your favorite artists. You had done it a month prior with Beyonce’s “Cowboy Carter” and now it was time to stop yeehawing and time to cry.

Even though you were more of the Swiftie between you two, even he couldn’t help but feel emotional while listening to the album. When you both first listened to “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart” you both had to pause before going to the next song.

You paused because you felt horrible for Taylor meanwhile, he paused because he could relate to the lyrics so much. Seungkwan couldn’t help but think of his hiatus last year and how he felt after coming back. When he started to cry you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around him and cry with him.

✫ Vernon

Hansol walked into your shared apartment and saw you lying on the floor disassociated and couldn’t help but find you adorable. He had given you a day to listen to the album per your request and from the looks of it, it fucked you up.

He decided to lay next to you in support while holding your hand which made you instantly squeeze his hand three times. “Guessing the album was good?”

“No, it was great. Just so sad.”

He hummed and pulled you closer to him and petted your hair. You took it as an invitation to tell him all about the album. You couldn’t see his face but he had a sad smile on his face. He felt bittersweet. Bitter because he knew you were hurting but sweet because he found it enduring that you trusted him this much to be vulnerable with him.

✫ Dino

You decided that you would listen to the album by yourself the first time around. Chan was respectful about it and waited patiently to hear the outcome.

After you listened to it all you made your way to Chan and curled up in a ball next to him. He instinctively wrapped an arm around you and pressed a kiss to your temple. “So what did you think?”

“There were two songs that made me think of you.”

This made him worried because from what you told him this album was rumored to be about the end of Taylor’s 6 year relationship and he thought that y’all were golden. Y’all hadn’t been fighting and everything was okay.

The look on his face made you laugh before pressing a kiss on his lips, “listen to them before you worry.”

You then put on The Alchemy and So High School for him and his heart felt like it exploded with happiness and relief. He kissed you before cheekily asking, “So… I’m your Travis Kelce?” You nodded with a smile, “and I’m your Taylor Swift.”

He laughed before giving you another kiss, “then I’ll make sure you constantly stay bejeweled.”

A/N: this was so corny but im kicking my feet. Check on your Swiftie friends. We are not okay 🥺

[natmalfoy]

Authors Notes:

angst, not a happy ending, mentions of d3ath, draco is kinda a dick. this work is written by natmalfoy, don’t steal. i take suggestions.

word count: 1,448.

just wrote a short draco x [y/n] oneshot based on the song peter by taylor swift and i absolutely adore it. i love that song so much, and i (coincidentally) also adore the movie disney made on peter pan, so i guess you can say i’m an expert on peter and wendy’s dynamic lol. draco in this fic is peter, and [y/n] is wendy. i might post it on my ao3 later, let me know what you think.

I wont confess that I waited.

The young woman’s fingers delicately pressed against the cold, marble, window sill. Her chest began to feel heavy once again as she looked out to the scenery peeking out. The dark trees from the forest created a large shadow in which the woman felt alone. She stood from the loveseat against the sill, trailing the tip of her fingers against the popcorn like bumps on the walls. She dragged her feet, which seemed to be working against her, taking herself back to her bed. The days were long and empty. Her days consisted of sitting in her excuse of a library reading the same three books. Walking in the loosely tended garden while the bottom of her dress got dirty from the piles of dirt and fertilizer. Making tea, and sipping on it until it became too frigid that she had to toss it out. She waited until the day he would arrive, once again.

It had been three years since she saw Draco. Three long excruciatingly long years. 1,095 days of waiting until she’d given up her hope for him to return. He left her due to her safety in regards to the Dark Lord. Once the Dark Lord had fallen he went mad. He was left with the self portrayals of being a monster, and as well as the man who seemed to need to protect all of those who he loved. So he left her. Draco fled with his Mother and Father into hiding, scared from what would be the outcome of the world, and it tore her soul. Before Draco fled, she felt loved. He protected her, embraced her, assured her. He took care of her scars from battle, and conjured her fears into a loving dream. He knew how to make her feel seen, and known. Something that no one in her 20 years of life ever could.

It was vulnerable. Their love was hidden, hushed away in secret. Something so out of reach, but so close that she could taste it. But he never loved her enough, and that’s what hurt. She would’ve fled with him, would’ve never seen the light of day again. How she longed to be in his arms, embraced by his delicate touch that she came to love. The little amount of time the two had together gave the young woman fireworks in her stomach, more than she had ever felt. He knew her. He knew her body and her scars. He knew the the amount of moles she had painted on her arms, which formed constellations on her tan skin. He knew the placement of each stretch mark on her hip. He knew how when she cried her cheeks got red, before her nose did. He knew her lips would go dry after she drank too much wine. He knew her nose would scrunch when she tasted something unpleasant. He knew every little minute detail about her, yet he left her with so much more he could give. All she was left with was with what could it have become. What if’s crossed her mind often. What if Draco had never been selected by the Dark Lord to carry out the deed. What if Draco wasn’t forced into becoming a death-eater. What if the prophecy wasn’t in Lucius’ hands. The woman sighed, as she made her way into her empty bed. The left side always empty, waiting for Draco’s arrival. The black silk sheets gave her more uneasiness, rather than comfort, and the thin, fleece comforter made her more cold than warm. The woman propped herself up on her right side, reaching her land to turn of the lights. Her wand swished, and a glow floated from it, slowly collecting each ray of light from the lamps in her room. She placed down the wand on the wooden nightstand, and returned to lay on her back. She began to close her eyes, and in a way, begged for sleep to take her away faster. As in her dreams, was the only place she had felt happiness since Draco’s absence. As she drifted, her eyelashes fluttered from a small light coming from a gap of the emerald silk curtains draped over the large window. She forced herself to be awoken and reached for her wand. She stood, in a shaky fear. The person on the other side began to tap on the glass, making her gulp. As she placed each step on the ground and walked further, she felt her fear turn into relief. Her muscles relaxed, as well as her grip on her wand. It felt safe. Her gentle fingers found their way to the curtain, and with patience, revealed what stood on the other side. It was a man with icy, blonde hair. His cheekbones and jaw as sharp as a knife. The man had scars on his eyebrows, and one on his lip, which seemed to have been healed, yet permanent. His blueish grey eyes looked like large swimming pools on a gloomy summer’s day. She recognized him immediately. It was him.

A gasp left her lips as she dropped her wand in shock. Her nimble hands rushed to the locks of the window, rusted from the last time she had opened them. Her heart swelled. Adrenaline ran through her bones as she pushed up the window to open it. “Draco,” The woman began, but she didn’t know if she was upset or thrilled. The man’s eyes wandered around the room until they placed themselves back on hers.“You look different. You know,” Draco smiled sheepishly, his teeth as bright as they were before, “I wanted to come and see you earlier.” Her smile faded as she remembered the state of things. Her heart beat faster then a drum, and her stomach fluttered seeing the man she felt that was intertwined to her heart and soul. But it made her yearn, yearn for their past. “It’s been three years, why did you come now?” Her heart began to hurt as Draco hunched over and crawled into the bedroom. Memories fled her mind of when the two were still in school, and so many things had changed. She forced herself to move on, because she was convinced he’d never come back. She painted over the silly doodles Draco painted on her walls and changed the curtains to match. She changed her large bed frame to one that was smaller so it felt like she would be less alone. Memories of Draco in this very room infiltrated her mind, things that she taught herself to forget all came running back. It hurt.

“I had to grow up, [Y/N], can you blame me? My life had to change after the war. I wasn’t a kid anymore.” Draco’s eyes pleaded for the woman’s. “My parents could’ve been killed.”He began, excuses shooting out of his mouth like daggers to her heart. “I had to protect them.”The woman turned his back towards him, almost as a defense from him invading her heart once again. The man she once knew and loved claimed to grow up, but he was exactly the same before he’d left. “And me?” She began, the amount of sorrow built up over the years or waiting for him to return, his expectations finally letting his feet reach the ground began to spew words without her consent. “I could’ve been killed. I had no one there to protect me, Draco.” Her words cut deeper than a knife, and the room was silent besides the occasional shaky breath coming from either one of them. Draco, who expected a different reaction from her, was at a loss of words. His brows furrowed at her suggestion. “Do you think it was easy for me to leave you? I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep you safe, [Y/N]. I couldn’t have come running to you, they would’ve gotten to you.” She scowled, her eyes looking in every direction besides his. “You said you would come and get me when it was safe. I tried, Draco. I tried to hold on to you. To hold on to us. I had to let go.” Draco flinched at her words and attempted to get near her, yet it felt like with each step he took the farther she went away.

“I never let go of you, [Y/N]. I hope you know that. I forced myself to stay with my parents each day, but every morning when I woke up, I longed for you.”

His words rang in her ears, and although she wanted to give in, it was too late.

She grew up, and he didn’t.

[saltyr3mix]

have I ever told you that second chances had multiple test concepts?

before I decided on empires, I considered Stardew Valley because the original idea for this was an ask game where you put the last character you drew in the last game you played and I thought he would vibe :D

Then, when I decided on empires, I considered making him a ghost in a cursed pendant that llama Owen picked up! The story would have been about him trying to get brought back so he could continue his massacres but being worn down by llama Owen’s stupid antics lol

NO YOU DIDN'T

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THOSE IDEAS ARE SO SO SO FUN!!!!

I neeeeeeeeeeeed more outsiders x other servers fixing them fics. There was this one fic where they took outsiders and fused it with the maze runner and it was amazing. and like i ADORE ADORE ADORE LOVE ABSOLUTELY FAWN OVER YOUR FIC OF COURSE!!

Cause i love taking messed up characters and sending them on the most painfully complicated fix it arcs. Its literately the plot of both These walls scream your name and Played my game now you're in it. OH! and my new secret wtdw fic only Danger knows about that i wont share for a while. (im going to wait till i have a few chapters before hand ready to post so i don't get behind on it like all my other fics lol.)

ANYWAY

I've also been tossing around more combinations for this kind of au. taking outsiders and putting them in places they shouldn't be. and here are some of the ones i've nearly written but just don't have the time for.

O!Krow in Newlife. just, it's reaction to sparrow would be so funny and also the angst potential in death and hybridizing Krow even further. Also there is one opening to one of the NL episodes where Krow does a Japanese voice over intro that catches me off guard every time i hear it.

O!Bek in SOS smp. Look. Scott, Eloise, and Owen are there but my girl is missing and that makes me just a little bit sad that they can't reach their full chaos potential. its more so to fix them than her at this point. but i also think it would to see O!Bek specifically try to adjust to it all cause shes isn't a big......team player..... to say the least. Which is something that smp relay on big time.

O!Magic on Pirates. i think she deserves a gun. and to kill people. and also think she would be a great apprentice for P!Gracie and would be besties with cruppy. this is less of a lore heavy one and more i just want her safe and happy and also to kill whomever she so desires because she deserves it after everything.

On a similar note on sending people place for the sole sake of letting them kill people, i think sending O!Oeca to the traffic series would just. just think about it. they were made for each other. and you know what. Put O!Mowhee there with him. Just the two of them running around on red just. i don't know man. i think its very fun and that they would thrive.

O!Squidney and O!Spidey i firmly believe should have the pleasure of being in Rats. Just as a treat. just so they can be silly and forget the horrors.

Anyway those were plans i had for another super big grand fic where every outsider got put somewhere new and each chapter centered around them healing. but i quickly realized that's way too big of a project to take on right now and also i don't know enough about servers or enough about every outsider for that.

Hope you like the little exchange in ideas!!! I do really like yours and i have so many i couldn't help but spill some of my own!

(i also may have another little idea for a oneshot sort of inspired by your fic, if i get around to having the free time to write it and you allow inspiration)

[rai-chuuuu]

❥ emis blog

about me

emi , she / they , 9teen , #1 chuu, chenle, hendery ult

mexican , eng / esp , loona / txt / nct ult , professional silly goose

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rules

writing

will do ; texts/smau , drabbles , shorter fics , fluff , angst , light smut , m x f!r (female reader) , m x gn!r (gender neutral reader) , any on my stanlist (minus eunchae & yukika) , & some more wont do ; longer fics , heavy smut , groups I dont stan , m x m (I literally cant write from male perspectives for the life of me) , idolxidol (unless idolxidol!reader) , and basically anything gross masterlists ; loona , txt , nct

interaction

I literally do not care about who interacts with me, just as long as youre not under 13/14 if a post is labeled with "minors dni" or "18+", then minors obviously shouldn't interact. tbf, I literally dont have the power to stop anyone from interacting lol

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thats really all but please remember that this is FICTIONAL

[writeousposting]

Introduction Post!

New writing account alert!! Mark your calenders!! 24/8/14, 12am!!

Intro under the cut 💞

Writeousposting !! <3

Name(s); Writeous, Nuke, or Doll!! (no preference!)

Pronouns; they/xe/it + neopronouns

bodily a minor, please keep this in mind.

Very mentally ill!!! Please also keep this in mind when interacting!

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Link to our carrd, if you dont wanna read us going on and on; https://writeousposting.carrd.co

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We're a writing account, if the name didnt let you clock it!!

^ Namely for fandoms, via requests!! (once we get those..)

List of fandoms we're in!

Pink; writing for, Blue; not writing for, purple; maybe!

arcana famiglia (does this have a fandom?)

Bungou Stray Dogs

call of duty??

chainsaw man

cuphead

Deadpool. (no other mcu things or wtv.. only Deadpool.. maybe spiderman..)

demon slayer

dragon pilot

dungeon meshi

five nights at freddy's

gravity falls - will change, I just need to rewatch first :)

haikyuu

happy sugar life

i am not okay with this

jujutsu kaisen

kakegurui? - maybe in the future

mario?? ig??

My hero? - in fandom, never actually watched :3

ouran private high school host club

pokemon - havent watched much in forever man

pressure - PLEASE

Puelle Magi madoka Magica

resident evil (specifically 8, village) - ooc if i do write, for sure

rising impact - please.

Saiki K - ooc, but id love it!!

School Bus Graveyard

seven deadly sins - idk the characters good enough!!

sonic - same as sds

stars align -angst..

suits..? - only if i get to hyperfixate on court for no reason for the fic

the resident? - make it medical information instead of court and you got a deal

Voltron - not finished yet, but i would love to write it!!

Wednesday - would need to rewatch first

whitepine - not enough content to write for it, will when more gets released though, maybe!!

and probably more..

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regarding requests;

NSFW is.. fine, but it's either freaky or nothing. (if you dont include a kink ill choose one, but it WILL be freaky if you req nsfw, i promise :3)

Sensitive topics are awesome!! Please include them! Especially heavy ones! I like angst!! (ex; sh, eds, death, noncon, suicide, etc)

^ off of those two, feel free to ask for some INSANE shit. like please! i want to have to spam "dead dove: do not eat" before the cut!!

continuing..

some things are off the table due to my weird brain; crossovers arent fun for me unless it's like an ultra cool specific idea, so feel free to request, but it might be ignored. X reader / self inserts / ocs aren't huge for me, but if it's a good idea, maybe! It mostly depends on the fandom, really! (like no reader for like.. bsd, but mushroom oasis? or games where you play as a "player" rather than a character, as example)

Feel free to ask for things other than fics, such as headcanons or just random questions regarding lore!!

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BYF; im problematic, so keep that in mind lol!

i also dont have a dni, but i wont entertain certain things, and i block freely.

^ you should too! dont like? dont interact! Simple!

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Pinterest; writeouscoll (https://www.pinterest.com/writeouscoll/) I post WCUE stuff on there.

Twitter; writeousposting (https://x.com/writeousposting) same as here, writing/fandom stuff! (not too active tho)

Carrd; https://writeousposting.carrd.co basic info (byi, dni, and interests, mainly)

Spotify; https://open.spotify.com/user/31wxf6o5shdkxus6feeotmokpkye?si=59026fdf27aa4bad not sure why you would want my spotify, but there it is..? (i post playlists there sometimes?)

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extra note; I wont ONLY post writing, and might just post random stuff (like info dumping or facts about stuff) sometimes, but a majority of my posts will be related to writing, if it isnt writing outright.

[fanaticsnail]

Oh my GOD!!!!

The buggy swing fic was so good, the way you managed to write just the right touch of angst and insecurity in Buggy when Mihawk shows interest to make it dramatic and juicy

The way you wrote Mihawks interest as well was so well written, subtle but confident and self assured.

I adored the sweet tension between Buggy and the Acrobat, not a will-they-wont-they but more that there's definitely something there and they both know it so why bother putting a name to it, in a way that's so very sweet and intimate.

So excited to see Koby and Shanks are added to the list, I can't think of any other men you'd want to add from the live action but if you do add someone or want to try a different dance I'd look into bolero it's very romantic.

I'm so excited to see what you do for the others!! And also I just read your Koby fic (idk how I didn't find the first part earlier) and I loved it!! Were there any bands/songs you were thinking of besides the ones listed? (I have a whole playlist of shanty/tavern/drinking songs if you need it for Koby or Shanks lol)

Thank you for your wonderful comments and suggestions, @sexc-snail. I so appreciate your words always 🥹❤️. So much love to you ❤️❤️

An insecure Buggy is my favourite kind of Buggy. A confident Mihawk is always fun to add into the dynamic. Balancing the fluidity between the sandwich is going to be challenging, but I can't wait.

I did add Koby and Shanks to the list! I would absolutely love to add a bolero to the list, but I don't see it for any of the remaining OPLA characters - unless we want Usopp or Helmeppo to attempt it? Or maybe Garp? OR KHAHADORE!!!!

As a violinist, I'm always keen to hear more Celtic drinking songs - particularly if they're heavy on the strings! I listen to a fair amount on my d&d playlist when I'm cooking before a session, but absolutely send me some links!! (I'm also a former Irish Dancer and Acrobatic/Gymnast way back when, so this little one/two-shot has been so much fun to reminisce with!!)

My d&d playlist includes: Celtic Woman, Patty Gurdy, Nightwish, Dropkick Murphys, Ella Roberts, Nati Dreddd, Ashley Serena and Blackmore's Night. Send me your tunes!

[buns-and-butter]

Hiya lovelies !

So this is actually an alt account, a place where I can go completely feral.. My main is @toastyliltoasts41 and I mostly write for a fandom called Foolish Crew (Socksfor1, Fatmemegod, Blazaplays, Tbhonest, Joocie and etc)..

But on this account, I plan to be posting fanfictions about Wilbur Soot, Quackity and whatever really comes to my mind..

Maybe even BBC Merlin, Who knows ? (Mainly since these three fandoms, considering Wilbur and Quackity as one 'mcyt' fandom, are my absolute life)

So, without further ado, lets establish some boundaries.. (Pls dont come after me for this being cringe lmao since I dont have this sorta thing even for my main account lol)

• NSFW accounts, Please dni

As Im still a minor and Im still not comfortable with anything that's not SFW.. Its also kinda creepy to interact with one so, no..

• No racism, homophobia or hate to anyone at all..

It's strictly prohibited and will not be tolerated in any shape or form.. That also includes requests btw

• No creepy or personal questions please

Like the NSFW one but mostly about my personal life.. I write on here to not only express myself but to calm myself down in a way.. And receiving questions about myself, that are clearly not anyones business, is not the way anyone'll have a peaceful time on here, my friend.. Im talking about questions like "What's your IRL name" or "Where do you come from".. It just creeps me out a bit so please refrain from that.. You're always welcome to simply ask about where the boundary-line is, though, I'd be happy to talk about it and anything that doesnt cross it..

Maybe there's more to be added but lets skip to the okay/good parts now..

• Requests

Please I fucking love requests and even the smallest of interactions make me do the Tubbo 'Yipee'..

• Talk to me !

If anything is bothering you at all, you can always (if you're comfortable) talk to me about it.. Whether it was just a bad day or you're in a bad situation in life, you're absolutely welcome with open arms to have a chat..

• FANAAAART

Please, I BEG of you, never be ashamed to show anyone your art.. Im a pretty shit artist myself and I love drawing silly things but just straight out fanart hypes me up to write more about those characters.. It just shows me that these cool fanarts are literally the ones Im writing about so its basically like pride (?)

• Heavy topics ?

Im absolutely fine with violence, gore and dark topics sneaking its way into my fanfics.. Even alcohol is fine to a limit ! (As long as its nothing serious and these above topics are not inflicted gruesome-ly or a bit too much by characters in my story as it'll give the actual characters themselves a bad reputation)

• Pronouns

Im a female myself but I'll mostly use they/them in my stories to make in gender neutral.. Heads up if you wanted to make an amab request, Im genuinely sorry but I wont write in anything other than she/her or they/them pronouns.. Im concerned that I'll end up offending someone since I dont really know much about the community.. So, unless you hint at it or request me to use she/her pronouns, I will only be writing as they/them

Maybe I'll add a bit more when I remember lmao-

Anyway, Here's a bit about who I am and what I'll write about:

My online name is Sophie, although Im thinking about changing it, so you can just adress me as Soph.. I go by she/her and, as I already established before lmao, Im a minor.. My life's burning down to the ashes of hell (lol ik Im dramatic, bear with me) most of the time so I wrote stories, and read other's, as a coping mechanism.. I will most likely not see your dm's/requests for a few hours, or even days, or Ill do the complete opposite and reply to them within minutes lmao.. I still have my own studies to complete so I dont think I'll write requests the very same day, Im not sure myself..

I take almost all requests other than smut..

Angst

Fluff

Romantic

Platonic

AU's

You name it man..

Aaaaaanyway, Here's who I'll write for:

~ C!Wilbur (Every bursona too, I am just infatuated with them)

~ C!Quackity (Yes, absolutely but as long as it doesnt cross any of his boundaries)

~ C!Karl Jacobs

~ C!Ranboo

~ C!Tubbo

[As mentioned above, as long as these are within their boundaries and consent]

and on a different fandom:

~ Merlin (MERLIN MY BELOVED)

~ Arthur Pendragon

~ Lancelot cuz yes (But Im not very motivated to write for him)

~ Maybe some platonic with Morgana (BECAUSE SHE'S NOT EVIL, SCREW YOU DIRECTOR) and Gwen

So this is mostly it for now, Ill update this whenever I remember lol.. Bye bye for now !

[with-love-from-hell]

5 Sides of Human

{Part Thirty-Two}

Genre: Mixed WC: ~6.7k CW: heavy allusion to past trauma, body horror, blood mentions, graphic physical violence, lots of angst, lots of hurt/comfort, mentions of vomit, flashback to past lessons where Lucifer is violent, vague self-harm implication, swearing, refernce to The Labyrinth, Storm has a stutter but I am not depicting it with written word consistently, prolly lots of typos lol, spoilers for season 1&2, I'm skipping over/changing some things I didn't like in the main story so it will be a bit different from canon! Series Masterlist

©️ artwork commissioned by @vivi8bit©️

Storm snapped awake, her head pounding from the migraine that had rendered her unconscious at Lucifer's desk. The room was dark, and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the blackness that surrounded her. She groaned, rubbing her temples to try to ease the ache. Tending to the amount of tasks Lucifer usually handled himself day in and day out was proving to be way more stressful than she anticipated, even with the help from Beel and Fern. She sighed, pushing the documents that she had caught up on aside and stretched out her back, squinting to try to find the outline of the eldest brother in the dark.

Lucifer appeared to have left when she was asleep. She wondered for a minute where he had gone, when the handle of the office door rustled slightly. The door slowly creaked open, spilling a crack of light into the room before shutting quickly behind the individual who entered. Before she could part her lips to greet who she thought was Lucifer returning from somewhere else in the house, she heard Mammon's conniving snicker from the darkness. A beam of light from the 2nd eldest's phone penetrated the darkness, shifting along Lucifer's book shelves in search for something.

"Heh heh heh...With Lucifer's memory gone I'm sure he wont miss some of these expensive treasures..." He quipped to himself, reaching toward a gilded statue on the top shelf. "...Can't wait to see how much this baby sells for."

"Just what do you think you doing, Mammon?"

He shrieked in response, the light from the phone strobing around the room as it clamored to the floor. The statue wobbled, threatening to drop from the shelf as Mammon tried to reign in his pounding heartbeat. Storm sighed, reaching for the lamp behind her and pulling the cord gently. The room became washed in an amber light, and she could now see Mammon, who tried to scramble up from the floor and hide his mischief.

"Hey! What'cha doin' sittin' in the god damn dark!" He huffed, doing his best to yank off the black rubber gloves before she could spot them on his hands. "And why're'ya all alone? This is Lucifer's study, ain't it?!"

Storm rolled her eyes. "I was getting ahead on some work for the next week and I had fallen asleep. Lucifer probably didn't want to wake me, so he shut the light off before he left...But more importantly, what are you doing here?"

"Aw, c'mon now...don't be like that." Mammon whined, strolling toward the desk. He hopped up on the edge, swinging one of his legs dismissively. "With Lucifer's memory gone, that means we can do whatever we want now, without any sorta punishment! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, don'cha see?"

Storm crossed her arms, staring flatly at him with an eyebrow raised. Clearly she wasn't amused.

"This is the perfect time to try to get in on some of Lucifer's secret treasures, and find where he hid my precious Goldie!" Mammon grinned widely. "Don'cha want me to treat you to a special dinner, Lucifer's treat?!"

"Don't press your luck, Mams." Storm sighed again, standing from the office chair.

"Tch, whatever...You're starting to sound a lot like Lucifer." Mammon pouted, reluctantly following behind Storm as she fixed one of the chairs Mammon had toppled over. He snatched up his DDD, snapping the flashlight off.

"Someone's gotta keep you guys in line." She flashed a smirk at him, straightening the bookshelves that he had fumbled into when she startled him.

"Well...anyways..." Mammon nonchalantly turned, snatching a box off of Lucifer's liquor cabinet without her noticing. He quickly shoved it into his jacket pocket before she turned to face him. "Tonight we're gamin' in Levi's room. You're comin' along, right?"

Storm sighed, dropping her gaze. "I wish I could, Mams, but there's still a lot that needs to be done and-"

"Seriously!? I ain't barely seen ya since this whole shit with Lucifer's memory started. We used to game every week, but for the past 2 weeks ya find some excuse not to play with us." Mammon threw his hands up, before shoving them back into his pockets. His frown reached deep within his eyes, the sadness of having not been able to properly hang out with Storm like usual clearly getting to him. "If we ain't gonna have our pact for much longer, I wanna get the most out of it while we still can, y'know?"

Storm's expression softened. "It wont be like we can't game after this is all over with, you know."

"Yeah, but..." Mammon shifted his jaw uneasily. "...It'll still be different..."

She sighed, knowing it was useless resisting such an adorable puppy-dog expression when Mammon looked at her like that. "Alright, fine. I'll come."

"Yahoo!" Mammon exclaimed, grabbing Storm by the wrist and dragging her out of Lucifer's office. "If we play Devil Cart, I want ya on my team!!"

Storm giggled, trying to keep up with Mammon's hurried pace as he pulled her up the stairs. His gate slowed when they reached the top, seeing a familiar, black-haired demon standing cross-armed in front of Leviathan's door.

"Lucifer?" Mammon blinked in surprise. "What'cha doin'?"

Lucifer bashfully turned toward the two as they approached. "...I can't get in."

Mammon furrowed his brow in confusion. "Huh?"

"He says I need to say a code, otherwise he won't let me in." Lucifer sighed.

Storm shook her head with a smile. "Even when his brother loses his memory, Levi is still strict about his room rules."

"Oi! Levi!" Mammon pounded on the door. "Open up, will ya!?"

"Sorry, this door doesn't open unless you say the secret phrase." Levi snapped from behind the door, seemingly pleased with himself. A soft giggle from Sarah could also be heard beyond the threshold.

"Uhh...Lets see..." Mammon scratched the back of his neck, seemingly trying to remember Levi's code. "The Lord of Fools is rich and good looking....and lives a super lavish life."

"BZZZT! Wrong!" Levi barked, followed by a cackling laugh from Sarah.

Storm rolled her eyes, pushing Mammon aside. In as soft of a voice as she could muster, she uttered the phrase: "The second Lord attempted to steal the Lord of Corruption's platypus, which could lay golden eggs. Having Incurred the wrath of the Lord of Corruption for his misdeed-"

"It was ordered that the second lord would be forever dubbed 'The Lord of Fools'." Levi opened the door as he finished the phrase for her, smiling widely. "Secret phrase verified. You and your party may enter."

"Why'd'ya gotta make such a long password for your room anyways?" Mammon grumbled as Fern (who seemingly came out of nowhere) rushed past him, eagerly flopping down on the beanbag across from Sarah.

"Do you actually submit yourself to that every time you come here?" Lucifer leaned down as they walked through into Levi's room, murmuring in her ear. "That's...quite impressive."

"Impressive..?" Fern snapped their head back in laughter. "This weenie will open the door for Storm even if she got it wrong. He changes it every damn day! Everyone else just needs to tag along with her so they can get in too."

"Hey..." Levi flushed. "Storm gets special permissions if it's urgent enough..."

"Yeah, 'cuz ya got a crush on her." Mammon snickered, flopping backwards onto the same beanbag Fern sat on. They shrieked, squirming to get more room by pushing him off.

"W-what!?" Levi's face reddened further. He brought his arm up to shield it from view, trying not to let Sarah see that he did, in fact, have a mild school-girl like crush on the red-headed human.

"Ha! Don't we all though?" Sarah cooed, batting her eyelashes at Storm. "She's hard to resist."

"Oi, enough'a that!" Mammon grumbled, kicking Sarah in the shin. She yelped, casting him a scowl.

"Anyway..." Heart interjected, pulling Levi toward his shelf of games. "What should we play?"

"What about Demonopoly?" Mammon smiled cheekily. "We got plenty of players to make it interestin'."

"Not after you wiped the floor with us last time." Sarah scoffed, trying to see around Heart for other games. "We could play Wheel of Misfortune?"

"That's really only good for 3 players though." Levi noted.

"We could take turns?" Heart shrugged. "It sounds fun!"

"I want everyone to get a chance to play together though." Levi frowned, tapping along the spines of his games. "....Here! Let's all play Super Smash Devils!"

The others excitedly bickered over which controller was whos as Storm settled cross-legged on Levi's floor. Lucifer handed her a pillow, deciding to sit next to her. Their legs almost touched given the limited space of the 3rd eldest's bedroom.

"...So, do you often gather at this hour to play games?" He asked, smiling warmly at Storm as she adjusted the pillow so both of them could lean on it.

"Yeah, mostly. It's not always the same crowd though..." Heart turned, counting the amount of people in the room to ensure they had enough controllers between the 4 humans, Levi, and Mammon.

"Yeah, sometimes Beel and Belphie join us. Vivi and Satan came once too." Mammon added, snatching the yellow and black controller out of Fern's hands. They hissed at him, smacking his arm to try to get him to give it back.

"I see..." Lucifer mused, watching Levi nervously hand Storm a sparkly teal controller with the name "Henry" written on the side in cursive script. He smiled as he watched her relax, finding himself intrigued as to how something so simple could make her feel calm. "Then, I'd like to play too."

Everyone in the room dropped what they were doing, snapping their attention to Lucifer.

"...What?!" Fern gaped, as if they couldn't believe those words had just left his mouth. "Grumpy McTight-Wad wants to what?!"

Levi used his pinky to pretend he was cleaning out his ear. "I'm sorry...y-you want to play games with us?? Really?!"

Lucifer swallowed anxiously. "That's not a problem, is it? If it's too many players we can just-"

"N-no! No, it's not a problem!" Levi shook his head, digging in one of his cubbies for another controller. "I just...didn't expect you to want to, is all..."

"Well, I do." Lucifer smiled as Levi handed him a black controller. "So, how do I play?"

Levi turned on the game, skipping through the intro sequences and moving on to the character selections screen. "Well, you start by choosing one of the characters you see here."

"Hmm. Alright...I'll go with this one." Lucifer smiled, selecting a the character that most reminded him of Storm. She was an archer dressed in white and green, with bright orange and yellow hair. She gave a hearty phrase of encouragement and confident pose as he selected her, causing his lips to turn up into a smile.

"Bahaha! You picked a total throw-away character!" Mammon cackled, picking a large, cartoonish demon with twisted horns and a long, spiked tail. He laughed menacingly as Mammon picked him, cracking his knuckles.

"Wait, Lucifer!" Levi frantically tried to get him to pay attention as he nervously watched Fern, Storm, Heart, and Sarah pick over his the characters he was best at. "Each character has attributes that make them more beneficial that others...The Fallen Archer isn't the best one for beginners, so-"

"Nah, let him learn the hard way!" Fern grinned evilly. "We'll wipe the floor with him!"

The battle began, each character frantically thrashing their weapons and using their magic abilities to try to knock each other off the map. The first one out of the game was Storm, followed by Sarah, then Fern, then Heart. Fern shouted at Mammon to kick Lucifer out of the map, but by some stroke of pure luck (and random button mashing) Lucifer managed to avoid his attacks. Then, he somehow used a move that nearly sent Levi flying off the ledge of the map as he tried to catch a power-up. Finally thought, Mammon managed to jump out of the way as Lucifer's character rushed at him, sending him careening off the side of the map.

"HAHAAA! YESSSS! That's a Second place finish for the great Mammon!" Mammon cheered, throwing his hands in Fern's face. "Take that, Booger Head!"

"I'll beat your fuck, you wiener!" Fern snarled loudly, trying desperately to push Mammon off of their beanbag once more.

A few more games came and went, Lucifer picking a majority of the characters that were left abandoned by the individuals who had more experience with the game. Along with his choices came lots of teasing and ridicule for his choices. Despite the poor decisions in character selection, Lucifer still managed to end up in either second or third place with each round.

"BOO ya! Eat my shit, Sarah!" Fern cawed as they smacked her her clear across the map with a giant hammer, sending her into oblivion.

"Hey, no fair!" She pouted. "I wanted the special hammer!"

"Ya snooze ya loose!" Fern cackled, now turning their attention to Lucifer. "You're next, grandpa!"

Lucifer scrunched his brow as he tried to focus, managing to dodge their attacks. Eventually they caught up to him, but they were both taken out by Levi's super attack.

"Damn! I lost again!" Lucifer huffed, setting his controller aside.

"At least you didn't get last like Storm." Heart snickered, pointing out that Storm was the first out of every round.

"hehheh, I'm just not very good at this game," She blushed coyly, rubbing the back of her neck. "It's still fun though!"

"Yeah. And still, I'm super impressed, Lucifer." Levi nodded toward him. "I wasn't sure if you'd be able to keep up, but you've gotten the hang of this in no time at all."

"Psh, yeah. Despite his poo brain, he's still the same stinky old Lucifer." Fern grumbled.

"Whatever, let's just move on to the next game. I wont quit playing until I manage to beat you at least once at one of these games, Levi." Lucifer smirked confidently, causing Fern, Sarah and Heart to erupt into a fit of laughter.

"You, beat Levi?" Sarah wheezed, trying to cease her laughter. "I'll believe it when hell freezes over."

Levi frantically hid his excitement behind his arm, hardly able to contain how happy he was that Lucifer showed some interest in something he did for once. It made him gleeful to think Lucifer would choose to play games with them, let alone actually enjoy the competition.

"Lets play Devil Cart! I call playing First!" Sarah giggled gleefully, hopping over to the game system and switching the cartage.

"This one is only 4 players, so we'll have to take turns." Storm commented to Lucifer, who eagerly snatched a place in the game before Mammon could select a character. "Each cart has different stats and-"

"Oi! I wanna go first too!" He grumbled toward Fern, who smiled wickedly back at him.

"Calm down, there'll be plenty of time to wipe the floor with you later."

"Why you!" Mammon captured Fern in a headlock, giving them a rough noogie as they screeched. Sarah and Heart began the race while they were distracted, giving both of them and Lucifer a head start.

Levi leaned back, tapping Storm on the shoulder. "Pst...Hey...Storm..."

She smiled, turning toward him behind Lucifer's back. "What's up?"

"Well...I...I just want you to know that...even if we're not bound by a pact, I still want you to come play video games with me here as much as you can." He blushed, averting his eyes. "You're still gonna be my Henry...okay?"

"Oh, of course." She smiled. "I love playing games with you, Levi!"

Levi shrieked eagerly, causing Lucifer to veer his car to the left.

"AHH! Give me a warning before you shout at the top of your lungs, Levi! You made me fall off the level!" Lucifer huffed as the floating Demon placed his cart back on the track and Fern blew past him, leaving banana peels in their wake.

Vivi's breath was sharp as they stared at their reflection in the mirror. Their bloodied fingers gripped the edges of the sink, desperately clinging for something to ground them back to reality. Normally, fights wouldn't phase them much- some of these demons really just needed to be put in their place and learn that humans weren't all weak willed fools who they could take advantage of. This one though...this one was different.

Vivi had been going about their normal routine, feeding the cats in the RAD courtyard with Satan before attending their first class together. He had done wonders to get her back into the habit of going to class, and they even found themselves wanting to impress him with their grades, so they actually started paying attention. Afterwards, they parted ways to head to their next class, but it was only a brief separation. The student who they had gotten into a fight with a few days prior had their sights on the grungy human, seeking them out like a predator stalking its prey amongst a sea of by-standing demons. They approached quickly, catching Vivi off guard as they stopped to fill their water bottle.

One rough yank of their long hair was all it took.

Vivi was torn away from the fountain, and immediately pressed into a headlock. The demon's hot breath on their neck made them want to vomit. It was as if all of their fighting instinct had faded away, and the only thing on their mind was fleeing. The tension on their scalp wasn't unbearable in the physical sense, but each tightening of tension pushed them further and further down into abhorrent memories that were previously buried in the recesses of her mind. They slashed their nails into the demons arm, pawing in desperation for him to release them. A window-shattering scream from her vocal cords, followed by the sound of crushing bones was all she remembered after that.

They weren't sure how they got out of the demon's hold, but the minute they were free, they ran. Their lungs burned as their long legs maneuvered them threw the amassed crowd, some yelling at her to watch where she was going as she plowed through them. Somehow, she ended up here- locking herself in the bathroom next to the council chambers, shakily trying to bring her mind back from the horrid memories that swam through her head and fogged her vision.

Her knuckles were nearly translucent as she gripped the sink. Her stomach turned; vomit threatening to surge up through her esophagus. She tried to catch their breath, cursing themselves over and over again for being so weak in comparison to the other demon. No...not the other demon...the other human who had caused all of this in the first place.

Vivi jerked their gaze down, as if seeing the memories playing out on a TV in front of her. No longer was she the strong human who few others dared to trifle with, who felt empowered by her many piercings and dark makeup. She was now the frightened child who had been meek and soft-spoken, doing her best to be friendly and loving despite the callousness she received in return. Before she decided she wouldn't let anyone push or pull her around anymore. Before her mind was plagued with memories of violence, the likes of which no child should have ever had to go through. Her scalp ached with burned physical memory that resulted in her keeping her hair short for years. She cut it off repeatedly until no more tendrils that the loathsome person who harmed her had touched were there. until she was rejuvenated; a new person....He skin unscathed. The same urge to rid herself of the burdensome locks returned, her brain crying at her to chop them off, to get rid of the thing that could render her immobile at the hands of another again.

A pounding on the bathroom door jolted her from her thoughts. the knock was frantic, desperate even. She couldn't comprehend what the voice on the other side said, but she recognized the tone instantly.

"Vivi? Vivi, are you in there!?" Storm called out, almost entirely out of breath. "Are you hurt!? Talk to me!"

Vivi sucked in a breath, trying to form words to ensure the other human she was fine, that she didn't need help. But nothing came out. Only a shaky, muted whine; a sound that Vivi didn't think she'd ever made before. Beyond the door, there was a slight murmuring, as if Storm was giving someone directions. Vivi tried to focus on her voice, thinking maybe it would get her mind off of the images passing through her brain.

"Stay right there, I'm getting help!" The sound of Storm's short heels clacking away on the marble floors getting father and father away did little to ease their anxiety.

Vivi took a shallow breath, digging in her satchel to fish out a multi-tool. Using the knife, she shakily held it up to about half-way up a segment of her hair. In one swift movement, she sliced through the tendrils, causing the black, violet, and purple locks to fall haphazardly to the ground. She stared at the hairs as their chest heaved, finding the action to be cathartic. She held her breath, repeating the action several times until her hair was about ear length, though the fashion it was cut in made it uneven. She didn't know when her tears started freely cascading down her face, but as she looked in the mirror once more, she saw the red blotchiness on her damp cheeks, some loose hairs adhered to the tears that wet her face. She didn't know how long the process took, but it felt like an eternity before Someone called to her again from beyond the bathroom door.

"Vi?" Satan's voice echoed through the bathroom. She remained deathly still as he jiggled the handle of the door, their gaze remaining on her reflection in the mirror.

After another few minutes of silence, followed by slight murmurs, the door jostled open. In the threshold stood Satan and Storm, and beyond them hovered Barbatos, a master key-ring dangled on his fingers, and a confused Lucifer, who had yet to have any meaningful interactions with Vivi. Storm and Satan shared a small gasp at the sight before them, nearly tripping over each other to come to Vivi's side.

Storm gently took the tool from their hands, not wanting them to suddenly lash out in fear. After securing the blade and putting it into her jacket pocket, she curled her fingers around Vivi's arm. "Hey...It's okay. We're...We're here..."

When she didn't answer, Storm looked uneasily to Satan, who curled his fingers around hers.

"Why don't we go home?" He murmured quietly, finally earning a slight head turn and blink from Vivi.

"Home..?" She repeated, her gaze now on her hair that was scattered around the floor.

Satan smiled weakly and nodded. "Yep, lets just ditch school for the rest of the day. I'm sure Diavolo wont mind."

Storm gave a pleading glance to Barbatos, who closed his eyes for a moment. After a short pause, he sighed, and gave a single nod. "I shall alert the young master of what happened here today, though I expect there to be consequences from you using your magic in such an aggressive way, Storm."

"We'll deal with that later." She said flatly, turning her attention back to Vivi. "Right now we just need to make sure they get home and get cleaned up."

Barbatos sighed once more, stepping aside so Storm and Satan could lead Vivi home. They took her hand, and Storm draped her coat over her, so they could lead her home with little interference from other demons.

Lucifer followed behind them curiously, not knowing what to make of the situation. He wasn't really aware of the clear power Storm held before now. It was if he was stupefied when Storm siphoned some of his magic, the pact mark on her chest glowing a bright cerulean when she uttered the incantation. What was more mesmerizing, was how hard she yanked the demon's arms off of the other human, bending them in such odd directions that the bones practically snapped under her touch. Given how soft and gentile she was toward...well...everyone, Lucifer had not expected to see such a frightening display of physical aggression. Though, as the memory of the action replayed in his brain, a fragment of a different memory passed him by.

She stood before him, arms outstretched. Behind her stood his younger brother, Beelzebub, and the smaller angel who's name he hadn't yet committed to memory. She had fear in her eyes as she stared him down, but he also saw determination and a plead for him to understand behind them. She shook her head, stating plainly that she would not allow him to hurt either individual she was protecting. He hadn't the faintest idea why he felt so fearful in that moment, but his body shook with terror and rage, but some part of him also felt admiration. He tried to hone in on that feeling, but the memory blocked his will. He gasped, snapping his eyes shut and pausing his footfalls. The memory of him grabbing Storm by the collar and casting her aside with a strong bout of magic rippled through his mind, along with her pained whimpers. The sound that seemed to stay glued to his ears as her body hit the wall made his heart pound deafeningly in his ears, not knowing what this random recollection meant at all.

"Lucifer..?"

The eldest brother snapped his eyes open, darting his gaze around the hall at RAD. Before him stood the small red-head, concern swimming in her eyes and knitted onto her brows. She touched his arm so gently, rubbing her thumb along the seam of his uniform. His breath was heavy, and it was now that he noticed that Vivi and Satan were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey..." Storm cooed, reaching her other hand toward his cheek. She cradled it delicately, moving his jaw so that his eyes stayed focused on her, rather that the whispers all around them. "Is everything alright?"

Lucifer swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I...I'm not so sure."

She nodded sadly, taking his hand in hers. "Lets get you home too. I'll make us all some tea."

Lucifer nodded his mind feeling hazy as she lead him down the rest of the corridor. They caught up with Satan and Vivi on their walk back, noticing that the two had stopped to pet a cat on the sidewalk just outside RAD. Something in her heart told her that things would be okay, but the anxiety about such intense reactions happening one right after another, and to individuals who she considered herself so close to, frightened her to no end.

Satan held Vivi's hand firmly, taking Storm's encouragement to go on ahead while she dealt with whatever was wrong with Lucifer that made him stop in the middle of the hallway. He kept his peripherals on her, making note of every slight wince, shuttered breath, and deep swallow that she performed. His pace was quick, wanting to get her to the safety of the house of Lamentation as soon as physically possible. He was so focused on the task at hand that he barely noticed one of the regular cats patter up to them from behind, meowing incessantly for attention. It wasnt until Vivi's yank on his hand, requesting him to slow down, that he gave the animal some thought.

They bent down, scritching it's favorite spot underneath its chin that it liked the most. Satan watched at first, noticing the slight smile that developed on their lips as they pet the cat. He joined them, trying to make conversation that would distract them from whatever awful feelings caused them to chop off all their hair.

"You know...now that Lucifer's lost his memory, we may be able to convince him to let us bring one of these guys home." He smiled, squeezing her hand gently. "I think it'd be nice, don't you?"

Vivi didn't say anything in response, only nodded. Satan tried to maintain his smile, but couldn't help the anguish he felt at her silence. He knew it wasn't uncommon for Vivi to be relatively quiet, choosing to bask in their own silent company, and occasionally his. But this silence felt different. It was as if she wanted to speak, but couldnt find the strength or ability to.

Satan sighed, tossing a glance over his shoulder. Both Storm and Lucifer finally exited RAD, and Storm's face was paled with concern- even more than before. Lucifer had a look of anxiety about him, one that Satan didn't think he'd ever seen. He gave a sigh, turning back to Vivi and motioning for her to keep walking. Satan smiled as the cat followed on their heels, purring loudly, which helped make the silence between the four of them a teeny bit more comfortable...though a tense anxiety remained, hovering over them like a storm cloud.

Solomon and Diavolo were waiting for them on the stoop when they returned, having heard about the situation from Barbatos. They tried to corral them all, but Satan had other priorities. Storm decided to meet with them alone after brewing some tea and ensuring Vivi and Lucifer were attended to, while Satan took Vivi directly up to his room and set her in his bed amongst the softest blankets he could find scattered around the room. She put up no fuss, which Satan felt relieved by. He half suspected her to immediately shut herself away from him and Storm, which was usual for her. But something about the grip she had on his hand as he stated he would go bring her up some tea and snacks made him hesitate.

"Don't leave..." The first words she spoke since they found her in the bathroom hit his ears like an avalanche, despite being barely audible. He frowned, kneeling in front of her. His fingers smoothed over her cracked knuckles, dried blood still painting the underside of her nail beds and the pads of her fingers.

"Okay. I wont." He cooed, pressing a soft kiss to her wrist. He watched as she nodded, then dropped her gaze to the floor. He would focus on cleaning her up later. For now, she needed some rest and support.

Using his magic, Satan called over a few of the floating books that spun lazily around the room. He cast them aside until he found one that was easily digestible in Vivi's state, landing on a novel that was relatively popular in the human world around the 1980s.

Satan settled in next to Vivi, who instinctively leaned into his arm, shifting from holding his hand to clutching his bicept. He began to read, filling the awkward silence with a story about a young girl who found herself in a grand adventure to save her younger brother after he was stolen by a goblin king. Vivi listened, but her expression was mostly unwavering. He occasionally glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, ensuring she wasn't under any duress. It was awhile before there was a gentle knock at the door, and Storm appeared from the threshold, carrying a tray of tea cups and sweets.

"I brought some milk tea and raspberry jam squares." She said softly, carefully stepping around the books that were strewn about haphazardly around Satan's room. She set the tray down on a short, stable stack of books, asking Satan if she needed anything else from her.

"Perhaps later." He nodded in thanks, giving Storm a warm smile. "I can take care of things for now."

She returned his nod, sparing a concerned glance toward Vivi. Pressing a hand softly to her shoulder, she gave her her best attempt at a smile, given how anxious she was. "Vivi...I'll come back to check on you later, okay? If you want to talk, we can. If not, that's fine too. Satan and I are here for you, okay?" She paused, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Don't hesitate to ask me if you need something. I'll do or get whatever you need in a heartbeat."

Vivi glanced up to her compassionate gaze, finding Storm's warmth spread through her veins like a heated blanket. "Thank you, mom."

Storm blinked rapidly in surprise at first, sparing a glance toward Satan, who quirked his brow in confusion. Vivi's face turned beet red, realizing what she had said.

"Storm. T-that's what I meant..." She grumbled, swallowing hard and averting her eyes.

She smiled, giving a soft chuckle before saying her goodbye and leaving the two alone for the evening, making due on her promise to meet with Solomon and Diavolo after the two panicked individuals were properly taken care of.

The rest of the afternoon, Satan read to Vivi from the book he had selected. She stared off in the distance, snapping herself awake when sleep threatened to take her over. She was afraid of what would haunt her dreams if she dared close her eyes, but having Satan's voice and touch ground her to the present was helpful, and while she couldn't express it yet, She was grateful that he took the time to make her feel comforted without expecting her to talk about what had happened with the demon, or why she had decided to rid herself of the burdensome locks.

She sighed, taking slow sips of the sweet tea as he read to her. It was as if she was finally getting used to being cared for by others, and while it was comforting, a part of her was angry that it took so long for anyone to find value in her. Obviously their calloused demeanor and tendency to shut others out didn't help matters, but after all it held the purpose of keeping them safe. Despite the fact that others still made them nervous and resulted in their walls being firmly set up, the 5th born brother and gentle red-head did wonders at making her feel loved for the first time in her life.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting, my lord." Storm bowed in apology after closing the doors to the common room, isolating themselves from the others in the house. It took nearly an hour to ensure that Vivi and Lucifer had what they needed, and she felt bad for making the two wait with little explanation.

"Not to worry, my dear." Diavolo grinned. "I'm glad that you have fallen in line with Lucifer's former duties so effortlessly. It has made his amnesia much easier to deal with."

"I appreciate that, but..." Storm sighed, easing down into an armchair. Her head throbbed as she massaged her temple. "It definitely hasn't been easy."

Diavolo chuckled. "I can imagine. I'm sure getting a taste of what Lucifer deals with daily has aged you by a millennia. I expect your hair to be as silver as Solomon's in no time."

Solomon shared in Diavolo's laughter, and Storm did her best to give a polite chuckle, but the exhaustion from the past week had significantly worn on her.

After their laughter faded, it was silent between the three individuals for a moment. Solomon shifted uneasily in his seat, glancing between the two individuals before him. Storm finally cleared her throat after being unable to take the tension in the room anymore.

"So what's so urgent that we need to talk about?"

Solomon sighed. "Well...I figured it would be easier to tell you both at once...I have run into a slight problem."

Storm swallowed nervously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it appears as if the night dagger- based on my research and observations- has been previously used, and barely has any magic affinity. We will need to have a significant bout of magic within it in order to perform the ritual."

Storm shot her gaze to the floor, her hands starting to tremble.

Diavolo frowned. "Is there any way to 'charge it,' so to speak?"

"I'm not sure." Solomon sighed. "Based on my research, it seems possible, but I still am not sure how, or what that process looks like."

"Hmm...This certainly is a dilemma..." Diavolo glanced pitifully toward Storm. "Especially considering the fact that Storm's magic is becoming more unstable with each cast. The effects are becoming more immediate than before, I'm afraid."

Storm slowly lifted her eyes to meet the prince's. "What..?"

Diavolo sighed. "Even before Barbatos told me, I knew you had used your magic at RAD, Storm. Numerous 8-Eyed Sparrows dropped dead from the sky in the gardens at the castle earlier this afternoon. I have also been getting reports that the phenomena has happened within a 12 mile radius of RAD- at the very least. Based on the timeline that Barbatos gave me, it happened within mere minutes of you using your magic on the demon who was attacking Vivi."

Storm's face paled. Shakily, she grabbed her seat for support so she didn't heave onto the floor right in front of them. "I-I'm sorry...I just panicked...H-h-he was hurting her...and I...I..."

"There's no need to apologize...I know you wouldn't have done so if there was another option available." Diavolo gave her a slight smile, reaching across the coffee table to rest his hand on her knee. "But given this incident, it appears as though we are running short on time. Solomon, how long will it take for you to learn what will need to be done to power the blade?"

Solomon shifted his jaw, letting a puff of air out through pursed lips. "I will do what digging I can. Hopefully no more than a couple days."

"Very well. Until then, Storm- please do not use any more magic." Diavolo warned, squeezing her knee firmly. "We don't need to expedite the horrible impacts this power has on the three worlds, and cause more harm in the process."

"Understood..." Storm nodded frantically.

Diavolo and Solomon shared an uncertain glance before they finally stood, saying their goodbyes and exiting the House of Lamentation almost as quickly as they entered. Once they were gone, Storm dropped her head in her hands, soft cries expelling from her throat. She felt so terribly guilty for the harm she had caused, now convincing herself that she had caused an entire species of Devildom birds to go extinct because of her recklessness. Thoughts of Lucifer being permanently kept in a state of amnesia also flooded her brain, followed by the potential fate of the brothers, angels, humans, and other species she had come to love. The intrusive imagery and accusations came endlessly, causing her to cry harder.

Just beyond a crack in the door to the common room, Lucifer stood watching. Malice whined quietly at his side, trying to determine which individual needed more comfort from him at the time. Lucifer swallowed hard, hating seeing Storm in such a fragile state, but figured his presence would only cause her embarrassment. He sighed, silently closing the door and returning to his study, the large dog following uneasily at his heels.

He poured himself a drink before sitting on the plush sofa, wrapping the blanket Storm had given him around his shoulders. He breathed deeply. It smelled just like her.

Malice laid on his feet, curled into a large, protective ball. Lucifer gave another deep sigh, deciding that he would wait until Storm came to him like she said she would. It hurt to leave her alone like that, but he knew it was for the best. Additionally, he needed to formulate his thoughts surrounding the flash of memory he obtained a couple hours earlier. He needed to ask her about it- and he needed to find out how many times he had lashed out at her in such a way. He wasn't sure if there was anything he could do to atone for the actions, but he wanted to at least try.

[formula-fun]

“Not a happy story”?????????

I was already really worried the last time you said the last chapter was going to be so full of angst. Now I’m just really really worried at the possible sequel.

Forgot to say hi first lol. Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though I suppose overall for me who is a “life sucks so much already I’m not reading angst in my spare time”, rreereading your story so many times has sort of trained(?) me for it, because I kind of know that sitting through the pain only gave me such sweet intimacy later.

Or maybe we just have different understanding of angst? Because for me once they have established the foundation of trust that “no matter what happens we are going to be here for each other, for the championships, the pregnancies, the parenting, the long-distance relationship and the so sweet life together” , then is just growing into themselves, growing up, and growing stronger. Not to mention even if said foundation was not acknowledged out loud (yet?) they are still actually actively trying to baby trap each other hahahaha.

So I was just sort of doing rereads and calmly waiting for the next chapters, now you say the sequel(if it happens) is going to be not happy?????? They have a baby! That’s grounds for a happy story(in fiction) right???? Right??

Haha in truth I’m just ready for anything you decide really.

Hopefully your projects are coming along better, I studied finance and maths which were in no way as stressful as architecture, and I still jumped between “if they want my (tuition) money they would let me graduate right?” “What was I thinking picking this subject my brain is not built for this” and “just let me die” most of the time. Of course you would pull through!!!!!!

Xxxxxxoooooooxxxxxxooooo

Hahha helloooo!! i love that my askbox is known to be a place to say hi now dkdfjdfkjdjk dear random person somewhere in the world we are at the same stoplight and i am waving at you from my car <3 This got super long so ill put a cut line

Hmm so I think maybe angst was the wrong word then! its not gonna be a happy story in the sense that the plot wont be 'max and charles live happily ever after with a baby', theres still going to be some shit going on. Ur 100% right that there's always sweetness scattered in within that, it's not just angst for the sake of angst, and they'll at least be able to outright support each other in the sequel without like jumping through hoops to quantify what they are to each other or whatever. So in that sense maybe what i mean is more that it won't be a fun fairytale epilogue kind of vibe, there will still be stuff they need to figure out?

also this is going to sound so pretentious im so sorry but the first two fics are heavily heavily written around the idea of gender. if you cut max and charles out of the entire rest of it it's just a story about two equals who love each other and are trying to find a common language to communicate that, but once you add in gender roles and expectations and judgement it all becomes this huge fucking mess even though the core of it is something so simple. the sequel is probably going to be kind of similar, but more along the lines of defining what a family is to them outside of their own expectations or trauma. so ya sorry to summarize theres room for intimacy and happiness and love and all that but there's also a heaviness if that makes sense. Kinda like what we have now

they also have just basic issues honestly. newborns cant really fly so max cant travel with charles for a lot of the beginning of the season. charles wants to be home as much as he can but he's kinda torn between his family and his job. they miss each other! the baby misses her mom!! kinda screws with everyones head a little, especially max who grew up without a mother! they try their best but its just hard sometimes my friend

and thank youuuuu honestly that's where i'm at with school rn!! we had 3 more hours of presentations yesterday (had to do the project over the weekend) and literally as soon as the last group was done we got assigned 3 versions of a 5 floor apartment building which we have to present tomorrow? this on top of the essay due today, the other one due thursday and the third one due next tuesday??? me and my friends just looked at each other in silence and apparently we were all fantasizing about dropping out djfkdfkjdfj they're trying to weed out our class rn though and im sorry but if admin want me gone theyre going to have to kill me

anyway thank you so much my dear!!! im sorry this is one big long ramble but hopefully it answered your questions!!

[reinekes-fox]

A win for me because i LOVE a good angst dish to the point I purposely put my MC in the bully club to tell you

For what the MC said, I tried to look up the translation and the closest I found was "certainly" so I'm rolling in my grave let's go

Now that vamps are confirmed, let me say there's something so good! so tragic!! about the trope of a vampire hunter and the prey of vampires falling for one another AGH I could write pages about it (don't even get me started on vampire x their victim, I'm totally creating another character for our red flag girlie)

Regardless, take your time for the update it's all good <3 the love we readers have for the chaos flock (which reminds me, will we see our children again aka the group we were taking care of?) is as consistent as the sussiness of the cult LOL

I am glad to serve! Also this made my day (jk its night here but stayed up way too late gaming), thank you so much!

Thats actually a really good translation tbh. Might need to find a more dialect heavy form so that it is a little bit harder to find out...

Oh the tragic train will arrive ;) in every route, rest assured. Tbh Asti and MC will have such a ...concerning dynamic (I have written one "ending" with her intervining and god she is bad "It seems that someone stole my bird out of its cage. It didnt end up in yours, did it?")

Also I would love to hear more about our Wing(s)! So if you ever have the desire to write pages I am going to fanboy so hard lol

No worries, I am not exhausting myself with this game! I do still hope to give you this update somewhat soonish. And yes you will def meet the Wings old Nest, they wont leave them that easily!

For everyone:

I will be putting more german in the conversations between Thrush, Asti and MC (with translations in the narrative), what do you guys think about that?

[primalsouls]

🌼 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 about me 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 🌼

realized ive never done an about me lmao so here it is~!

this is my writing blog for fanfiction ( character x m!/gn! reader content only)

from where i comment and like it is @primordial-prime my personal blog ^^

atm i only write for some genshin characters atm :)

i wont write very heavy topics. i like to mostly focus in writing fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, and anything general for fun

my name is jaiden, im 25, use they/them pronouns 🪷

i like animal crossing, pokemon, anime, kpop, and genshin impact along with other games, and whatever my interests is lol >ヮ<

i like to listen to music and think about my ocs and their stories whenever i do x) i also like to make playlists for my ocs but i wont be talking or writing about my ocs in this blog lol i got a different acc but it has been a while since the last time ive logged in on it.

if you wanna play gi with me later and be friends, here's my uid, im on NA server btw ^^

some times ill have coop off bc i like to focus on the quests, but other than that, im always happy to play with others :)

[storiesofsvu]

65, 54, 33, 24, 23 from the fanfic asks please!

Hiiii how are you? I miss you! 💜

23. best writing advice for other writers?

write for yourself first, not others. try to write every day, even if it's just a couple of sentences. read through prompt lists and see if a certain character/ship jumps out at you, it's the easiest way to spark a story when your inbox is empty. personally, i like finding music that sets the vibe and half of my dedicated writing time is spent daydreaming the fic out. BUT, if you do this make sure you write down tidbits or dialogue, ive got a bad habit of doing it before bed or while napping and then i completely forget what the important part were lol. find a bestie or two who know your fandom/characters and use them to bounce ideas off of/spitball with! also don't let the anons get to you and don't be afraid to use the block button.

24. worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

lort. im not sure? i dont think anyone's ever specifically given me writing advice aside from like, school teachers and like hell i remember any of that lol.

33. do you want to be published some day?

yes!!

54. what's your fave part about the fanfic writing process?

hmmm... i enjoy the spitballing with friends, getting all excited over ideas, thoughts, plot twists and the like. it gets the motivation going to actually get writing rather than depending on yourself all the time.

and of course the reactions!

65. tell us about what you're most looking forward to writing- in your current project, or a future project?

im a simple being. i like to cause pain. i am looking forward to the angst parts of dangerous game & heavy hearts. i'm also looking forward to embellishing more and expanding the universe in HH, including more bff!rita, having casey & yn fall back in love with more detail and emotion rather than jumping into it kinda thing.

also very stoked for the svu/criminal minds vampire/supernatural AU (as in supernatural characters, not the show itself).

thanks for asking!!!

and hiii!! things are good. currently v. sleepy, i wont lie. hope you're well!! miss you too!!

fanfic asks!

[ashnsweet]

HAIII UR BACK YAY SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE W EXAMS U GOT THISSS 🫶🫶🫶🫶

OMD NO PLS DONT FORGET UR MEALS AND SLEEP I REMEMBER STAYING UP FOR AN EXAM AND BEING SO TIRED I COULDN'T WRITE AS FAST 😔😔😔😔

AWW PLS ILY2 LOVE SHARING MY THOUGHTS W U IN MY BUBBLE HERE PLUS U BEING DESI ASW IS SO SLAY💕💕💕

OMD IMAGINE AN ANGST SONG SERIES OF THE INTERCONNECTED ANGSTY SONGS (don't forget to trademark it like maxie pad)

LMAO THERE'S A CHILDRENS DAY? WHY WASNT I INFORMED AB THIS

THANK GOD U ACC LIKED MY ANGSTY ANGSTY SCENARIOS I FELT LIKE THEY WERE TOO HEAVY I WAS LIKE WHOOPS FORGOT TO BE FILTERED BUT AWH NO IM SORRY TO HEAR U CRIED AB STUDYING I SO FEEL U I REMEMBER DOING THIS OVER CHEMISTRY ONCE BUT ITS ALMOST OVERRRR

U WATCH OBX? I AM DEADASS MARRYING U CUZ NOBODY WATCHES IT AND I FEEL SO ALONE I WONT SPOIL ANYTHING FOR U DW I WAS GONNA WAIT TILL PT2 CUZ IT DIDNT COME OUT ON DODGY WEBSITES SAME DAY BUT IT CAME THE NEXT DAY AND I COULDNT HELP MYSELF

U DID NOT SEE ME BEING LOVEY DATS NOT MOI

-🌝

holding unto the leftover sanity after exams with such weak strength but we ball

honestly being a desi during festive szn is so fun. fuck exams had so much fun at a fest today (my feet hurt)

NO BABE EVERYONE FROM MY ONLINE FRIEND GRP IS A DIEHARD OBX FAM, THEY LTR TELL ME TO NOT OPEN TEHIR PAGES WHEN THEY HAVE SPOILERS UP LOL

but it's okay all you need is me (I am vv possessive)

caught you being a softie for me 📸📸

[ylangelegy]

the loser and lover both die at the end ꩜ yeonjun.

── .✦ 💌 inspired by adam silvera's they both die at the end, major character death, alternate universe: non-idol, [heavy] angst, grief/mourning, last day on earth, platonic relationships, slice of life, [possibly] unrequited love.

── .✦ 🚏 this is the last of my non-svt/skz fanfiction for now! first published on ao3... at a time where i was admittedly very obsessed with yeonjun's watermelon sugar x blow dance cover (lol). this is thematically heavy, so please look out for yourself. it's also my first ever kpop fic (whew!) and so my writing style isn't like this anymore, but it's a good time capsule of some sorts.

── .✦ 📟 wc: 12,000+

On the day that he’s supposed to die, Choi Yeonjun learns what it means to be alive.

Choi Yeonjun was in the locker room when he got the call.

It was cruel, really. Everything had been so perfect until then. The cold noodles he had for breakfast were divine. There wasn’t any traffic on the way to the dance studio. And it took him only three hours to film his dance cover of Watermelon Sugar, as opposed to his other routines that usually ate up his whole day.

He had ducked into the locker room to send the group chat a quick text about their dinner plans when his phone started ringing. It was an unregistered number, which Yeonjun wouldn’t usually have bothered to answer— but he was in such a good mood, and how could anything go wrong on a day like this? 

“Yeonjun speaking,” he chirped, using his free hand to sift through the mess of his locker. He was pretty sure he’d packed an extra pair of clothes somewhere. “Who’s this?” 

“Hello. I’m calling from Death-cast.”

A beat.

“Could you please confirm that you are Choi Yeonjun, born September 13, 1999?” the monotone voice on the other end of the line asked.

It wasn’t until later that Yeonjun would realize how standard the entire spiel was. He’d already mentioned his name on the get-go; this stranger was just calmly reading off a script as if it weren’t the worst call of Yeonjun’s life.

“Hello, Yeonjun? Are you there?” 

“Yes,” Yeonjun said quickly. Pulling away from his locker, he slumped down onto the nearest bench. “Yes, this is Choi Yeonjun.” 

“Thank you, Yeonjun. I regret to inform you that sometime in the next 24 hours, you will be meeting an untimely death.” The caller paused, as if to let the information sink in. 

“On behalf of Death-cast, we are sorry to lose you. Live this day to the fullest, okay?” 

“Okay,” Yeonjun responded dazedly. Then, more out of habit than anything, he weakly added, “Thank you.” 

The call cut without another word.

Yeonjun sat in his seat for what felt like an eternity, staring at his phone log. Three minutes. His entire conversation with the Death-cast had lasted only three minutes. 

This had happened to him before. He’d be having a Good Day, but then something small would come around and trip him up.

Maybe the master CD would refuse to play. Maybe Soobin nicked the kimbap he’d been saving. There was always something.

Beomgyu jokingly called them hiccups, and Yeonjun found himself waiting for them; holding his breath for whatever might take away his day’s joy.

The Death-cast call was today’s hiccup. The worst hiccup he’d ever gotten.

His phone pinged, snapping him out of his shell-shocked state. It was Soobin. 

do u still need a ride? 

Ping. Another text from Soobin. 

reply asap i wont hv time 2 make a uturn if u dont reply NOW 

Despite himself, Yeonjun chuckled. What did Soobin know about not having time?

As he keyed in his response, he contemplated skipping out on dinner. Maybe he could just disappear. No one would ever have to know he was dying, and they’d also never know when he died. 

I’ll meet you there, Yeonjun responded instead.

Ping. 

suit urself!!!! dnt b late yeonttomeok ~

The stupid nickname. Yeonjun grimaced at the sight of it. Then, his expression softened, because he realized that he couldn’t do it.

Yeonjun couldn’t run from Soobin or the rest of the boys. If he was going to spend his last day with anyone, he was going to do it with them. 

He left the dance studio half an hour later. He emptied out his locker first, then he walked around for a bit to take it all in. On his way out, he tacked a note on the studio’s student corkboard. 

It would take a few days for anyone to notice. The grieving custodian is the one who finds it; a neon orange Post-It, hiding in plain sight among a sea of reminders and ID pictures. 

Thank you, he’d written. For everything. -YJ. 09/16/21

“You should try some of my pizza,” Hueningkai said enthusiastically, shoving a slice onto everyone’s plates. “It’s to die for!”

Yeonjun choked on his drink. 

On Yeonjun’s right, Beomgyu burst into peals of laughter, mimicking Yeonjun’s hacking coughs. Soobin, on the left, was tapping Yeonjun’s back sympathetically— though also visibly holding back his own grin.

As Yeonjun tried to clear the blockage in his throat, he fleetingly thought that this was it. He was going to drop dead in the booth of an American fast food chain, right before he could even tell his friends that he was on borrowed time.

But then the cola went down, and Hueningkai’s incessant apologies started sounding louder than the fears in his head, and Yeonjun quietly thanked God that his cause of death was not as lame as he thought it’d be.

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” Yeonjun sighed, looking around the table. A sneer for Beomgyu. A smile of reassurance for Soobin and Hueningkai. And for Taehyun… 

There was an odd look on Taehyun’s face that knocked the wind out of Yeonjun. 

It was almost like Taehyun knew. How could he, though?

Yeonjun held the other boy’s gaze, the two of them staring each other down intently. 

“Earth to Yeonjun,” Beomgyu sing-songed, waving his hand in front of Yeonjun’s face.

Taehyun looked temporarily startled by the intrusion before his expression quickly shifted into something more pleasant. Despite both of them breaking into a smile, Yeonjun couldn’t help but still feel a bit unsettled. 

“You’re extra sunny today,” Yeonjun sarcastically told Beomgyu. The latter smiled cheekily and shrugged. 

“What can I say? I love the first Friday of each month,” the younger boy said. As he turned away from Yeonjun to shove some fries into his mouth, it occurred to Yeonjun that this would be their last first Friday.

The five of them had been close friends since 2019. It started off as a small group that enjoyed playing computer games with each other, but then Taehyun quit gaming to focus on his studies and Hueningkai decided he wanted to spend his money on collecting plush toys.

It was Soobin who insisted that they meet up even if it meant not going to internet cafes anymore. That unassuming evening marked the start of a two-year tradition of meeting up every first Friday of the month. 

They still met up outside of those Fridays, of course. Soobin and Yeonjun actually moved in to be roommates half a year ago, and Beomgyu liked to still play video games with Yeonjun every now and then.

But first Fridays were sacred. No one missed out on them, come storms or break-ups. Their Fridays were the glue that kept the five of them together. 

“Sorry. Give me a second.” 

It didn’t immediately register to Yeonjun that Taehyun had excused himself from the table. Only when Hueningkai made an offhand comment about Taehyun taking his time, only then did the feeling of dread settle at the pit of Yeonjun’s stomach. 

“I’ll check on him,” he volunteered immediately, hastily climbing over Soobin’s legs to get out of the suffocating booth.

As he speedily walked away, he could hear Beomgyu cracking a joke to the remaining two boys. Yeonjun missed out on the rest of the story as he ducked into the men’s bathroom.

The overwhelming stench of bile was the first thing that hit Yeonjun; instinctively, he covered his nose with his hand.

From a barely closed stall, he could hear the unmistakable sounds of someone retching. Trying his best not to gag, Yeonjun took a few tentative steps towards the source. 

From where he was standing, he could recognize Taehyun’s Adidas shoes. 

Yeonjun couldn’t come any closer. 

Taehyun, from inside the stall, finally stopped convulsing. A brief moment passed before he flushed and stumbled out. Head bent, Taehyun mumbled apologies before stopping in his tracks at the sight of Yeonjun. For the second time that night, the two carefully regarded each other. 

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Taehyun made an annoyed tsk sound. Then, unexpectedly, he grinned up at the older boy.

“You too, huh?” he asked quietly. 

To Yeonjun, it felt like the punch line to the world’s worst joke. 

They decided to tell the rest of the boys after footing the bill. 

It was unceremonious at best and merciless at worst, for Taehyun and Yeonjun to break the news outside Hueningkai’s favorite restaurant. And Beomgyu made it so easy, too, by kidding about it as they headed out.

“What are you two so nice for? Don’t tell me you’re dying,” he teased, and Taehyun and Yeonjun shared a look as if to say, Well, now that you’ve mentioned it… 

Even though they talked it over in the bathroom, actually telling the rest turned out to be quite hard. At first, Beomgyu thought they were messing with him; that they’d colluded the whole plot while they were both gone.

As he screeched at Taehyun and Yeonjun that it wasn’t funny, Yeonjun pulled out his phone to show off his last received call. Taehyun did the same. 

Beomgyu got dreadfully quiet after that.

Soobin, ever the soft one, burst into quiet tears. Hueningkai held on to him, looking as though he might pass out if he wasn’t clutching on to something. Taehyun approached the two and whispered words of comfort that Yeonjun caught only bits and pieces of. 

“Have each other… Accepted our fate… Be okay…” 

Lies, the eldest of them found himself thinking angrily. All lies. 

No longer able to handle it, Yeonjun stalked over to Beomgyu. The younger boy was crouched near the sidewalk corner with no discernible expression on his face. His silence spoke volumes to Yeonjun; it was comforting to share, so much that Yeonjun felt a bit disappointed when Beomgyu spoke up. 

“What now?” 

“What now?” Yeonjun repeated.

“Are you just gonna lay down and die?” Beomgyu asked brazenly. Momentarily floored by Beomgyu’s audacity, Yeonjun looked at him like it was his first time seeing him. 

It was a silly notion, honestly. They saw each other practically every day. Next to Soobin, Beomgyu was the one closest to him. Admittedly, though, Beomgyu was also the one who irritated him the most. 

But not today. 

“I’ve always loved how shameless you can be,” Yeonjun blurted out, the heat immediately rushing to his cheeks at the sudden confession. If Beomgyu was surprised, he didn’t show it.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he answered with a faint smirk. “Anyway, back to my question. What now? Don’t you want to live the rest of your life fully?” 

“But it’s 8 PM,” Yeonjun said dumbly. Beomgyu promptly smacked him on the back of the head, making Yeonjun yell with indignation. 

“You’re dying and you’re thinking about curfew?” Beomgyu bellowed. “Do you understand just how stupid that sounds?”

“I swear, you’ll be the one that kills me,” Yeonjun grumbled, rubbing the spot Beomgyu hit. 

The younger boy barrelled on. “We don’t know how or when exactly you’re going to die. You and Tae can’t sit around and just wait. There’s so much that you can do in 24 hours!”

“Less than 24 hours.” 

“With all due respect, Junnie—I don’t give a fuck.” 

Yeonjun let out a disbelieving chuckle. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Beomgyu was right. It’d be a waste to spend his last day in fearful anticipation of the inevitable.

“Do you have a marker on you?” Yeonjun asked suddenly. 

Between the five of them, Beomgyu was the only one who was skilled at drawing. He sometimes carried the most random of art materials around with him and that night was no exception. “Just a blue one,” he said after sifting through his backpack. No questions asked, he passed it over to Yeonjun.

Looking around, Yeonjun zeroed in on the restaurant’s painted wall. It was in a pristine shade of white. Perfect. 

“Cover for me,” he commanded Beomgyu. The latter did as he was told, shielding Yeonjun from the street’s view. 

After a minute or two, Beomgyu was no longer able to contain his curiosity. “What are you doing?” he piped up, obviously trying to mask his interest. 

The impatience made Yeonjun laugh. 

“You can look now,” he said. 

Beomgyu turned to face Yeonjun.

On the restaurant’s shop front, Yeonjun had left yet another small thing to be remembered by. Along with a doodle of a pizza and a cola was a scrawled note, a note: YJ’s last supper. 09/16/21. 

If it had been any other day, Beomgyu might have commented on the abysmal state of Yeonjun’s drawings or the chicken scratch quality of his handwriting. That night, though, he wordlessly reached out for the marker.

Quickly, he sketched what seemed to be chibi versions of the two of them. 

“Always stealing my thunder,” Yeonjun jeered, though the taunt was softened significantly by the astonishment beneath his tone. Beomgyu’s rendition of them was uncanny. Finishing up, he wrote: Gyu was here too! 

Beomgyu looked up at Yeonjun, and Yeonjun smiled at him in response.

An iPhone note found in Choi Yeonjun’s phone, dated September 16, 2021. Last edited: 8:34 PM. 

☑ Commit vandalism 

☑ Have a good meal 

▢ Film and post a dance video

▢ Play Overwatch

▢ Go to a thrift shop and buy Beomgyu, Hueningkai, and Soobin better clothes

▢ Go on a date 

▢ Write my last will and testament 

▢ Say goodbye to mom and dad

▢ Take photos to leave for Beomgyu, Hueningkai, and Soobin

“You’re seriously going to waste time on Overwatch? On your last day ever?” Beomgyu complained.

Yeonjun angled his phone away from Beomgyu’s view. “It’s my bucket list. Not yours.” 

“Stop fighting,” Soobin said. His eyes were rimmed with red from his non-stop crying. It made Yeonjun’s heart ache. 

The three of them were in the back of a cab, heading to Yeonjun’s family home in Bundang. Though it was the last on his bucket list, it was the first thing he wanted off his chest.

He didn’t intend to tell his parents over the phone. He wasn’t even sure if he should even tell his parents at all. 

Half an hour ago, Taehyun and Yeonjun agreed to not wallow over their impending death. They had individual businesses that they first had to deal with but they made plans to meet up after so the five of them could be complete.

Hueningkai stuck with Taehyun while Beomgyu and Soobin decided to accompany Yeonjun. 

“I’m just saying, you could be spending your time a little wiser than losing to me and Soobin,” Beomgyu quipped. 

Sighing dramatically, Yeonjun removed the goal from his list. 

Before he could hit Beomgyu with another wisecrack, their ride came to a screeching halt. Thankfully, Soobin was strict on always wearing seatbelts; the safety device kept them from launching forward, though Beomgyu’s forehead did collide with the driver’s headrest. 

Beomgyu howled with pain as the driver profusely apologized. “A stray cat bolted in front of us as I was pulling in to park,” the driver explained. “I didn’t notice.” 

Yeonjun exhaled, one hand clutching his chest. 

The three of them slid out of the backseat and onto the Seongnam sidewalk. “You alright?” Soobin asked quietly as Beomgyu went to pay for the ride. 

The honest answer: Yeonjun was a little shaken.

Each step felt like there might be a minefield beneath his feet. He kept imagining a bunch of different scenarios on how it would happen, who would be there with him when it did. He didn’t want it to be any of the three boys, but they were insistent on keeping him and Taehyun company. 

No one seemed like they were ready to let go. 

Instead, what Yeonjun said: “Yeah, I’m good.” 

Beomgyu returned, another unreadable expression on his face. “The driver wouldn’t let me pay,” he reported, shaking his head. “He eavesdropped on us a bit, I think, because he—” A pause. 

The hard-to-read look suddenly became clear to Yeonjun. It was the same look of when Beomgyu polaroids came out all wrong, or when he miscalculated a toy’s position in a claw game. It was a mix of annoyance, and disappointment—and a little bit of sadness. 

“He what?” Soobin prompted.

Beomgyu looked directly at Yeonjun, opening and closing his mouth as though considering how to tell him. Finally, he choked out the rest of his sentence. 

“He sends his condolences.” 

“The worst thing that could ever happen to a parent is to have their child leave this Earth before them.”

Those were the only words that Yeonjun committed to memory. The conversation he had with his parents was not so much a conversation as much as it was groveling, sobbing, cursing.

There was anger. There was sadness. There was all the love they could offer each other. 

Though it broke his heart, Yeonjun begged his parents to let him go for the simple reason that he couldn’t bear the thought of passing away in their presence. He promised to call, if he could. He swore to have Beomgyu and Soobin at his side, at all times, to call them if he couldn’t. 

Then his father told him about the worst thing that could happen—how it was already happening—, and he hugged Yeonjun with a finality that didn’t need any spoken goodbye, and Yeonjun damn near reconsidered throwing it all away to spend his final hours with them.

Holding on to his pride, he hugged his father back. He gave his mother a kiss on the forehead. 

He asked that they both smile so his last image of them would be “not all that sad.”

And, just like that, the Chois let go of their only son. 

The cab ride back to Hueningkai and Taehyun was a solemn one. Yeonjun was thankful that neither Beomgyu nor Soobin felt the need to speak. They had waited outside Yeonjun’s home while he was saying his goodbyes to his parents, and they had let him take the window seat where he could stare listlessly out at the highway. This is the last time I’ll see this strip of road, Yeonjun numbly thought to himself. It was tiring to think in lasts. It was all he could seem to do as the minutes ticked by.

Ping. 

Hueningkai, whose Instagram account previously had zero photos, had just uploaded a photo of him posing with Taehyun. Lotte World all to ourselves!!!~ , the caption said.

“That’s new,” Beomgyu mumbled, looking at the post over Yeonjun’s shoulder.

“We saw each other practically every day for the past two years,” Soobin interjected, voice hollow. He was staring at Hueningkai’s post on his own phone. “Hyuka never saw the point in posting about us, because it wasn’t like we were going anywhere.”

The implication of Soobin’s words weighed heavy in the air. Now that two of us are dying, Hueningkai wants to capture whatever we have left. 

“I’m just glad to finally be Instagram official,” Beomgyu blurted out.

Both Soobin and Yeonjun shook their head, but Yeonjun was secretly glad to have an excuse to laugh. 

By the time they got to Lotte World, Hueningkai and Taehyun were already donning ridiculous animal headbands and sharing some honey butter chips.

“I got you guys headbands, too!” Hueningkai said. He pulled three out of his bag and proceeded to pass Beomgyu and Soobin theirs. Hueningkai asked Yeonjun to bend down so he could put it on himself.

“A fox?” Yeonjun asked, skeptically eyeing his reflection in a nearby shop mirror.

“Don’t you look like one?” Hueningkai shot back.

“How am I a bear?” Beomgyu whined, pinching the brown ears of his own headband.

Soobin quickly retorted, “Because you’re un-bear-able!”

It was a terrible pun but all the boys chuckled a bit nonetheless. Beomgyu yelled “Yah!”, reaching out to hit Soobin— who swiftly dodged, which meant Beomgyu’s slap landed on the small of Taehyun’s back. The chase that ensued had Soobin, Hueningkai, and Yeonjun doubling over in laughter.

“By the way,” Yeonjun mused out loud as they started strolling down the amusement park’s mostly empty avenues. “Why are we here after hours? Lotte World should be closed.”

Hueningkai’s face fell, and Yeonjun suddenly wished that he never asked.

“Lotte World is tied in with Death-cast,” Beomgyu answered instead. He and Taehyun had caught up to the rest, done with their chase. The latter looked a little out of breath; Yeonjun concernedly glanced over at him, to which Taehyun responded with a thumbs up and a gesture to keep listening to Beomgyu. “They allot their after-hours to people who might want to spend their last day here.”

Not wanting to dampen the mood any further, Yeonjun forced on a smirk. He threw an arm around Hueningkai’s shoulders and gave him a light shove forward

“Let’s make the most out of it then!” Yeonjun said resolutely. “Come on, Hyuka. We’ll go wherever you pick!”

That made Hueningkai light up like a Christmas tree. For the first time that night, Yeonjun felt like he’d done something right.

And go wherever Hueningkai picked they did. After around an hour or so, Soobin was already calling for something less exciting. “I don’t think my heart can take any more of this,” he cried dramatically.

“How about there?” Hueningkai said excitedly. Four pairs of eyes followed to see where he was pointing: A photobooth.

 “Perfect,” Yeonjun said. “I’ve been meaning to take some photos.”

 “Why don’t we go first, hyung?”

The other boys fell quiet when Taehyun addressed Yeonjun. Taehyun was smiling delicately, face flushed from the consecutive high-stakes rides. In one hand, he held a squirrel stuffed toy that Beomgyu had won him at a shooting game.

Taehyun looked so serene. So alive, Yeonjun thought in awe.

Yeonjun grinned back at his friend. “I’d like that.”

The two slid into the booth as Beomgyu, Hueningkai, and Soobin looked at costumes for themselves.

“This is part of my bucket list,” Yeonjun shared as he started loading the coins into its slot. “I wanted to give them photos of us, for them to remember.”

“That’s smart,” Taehyun responded. “We won’t have enough photos of each other to go by.”

Yeonjun swallowed the lump in his throat and turned to look directly at Taehyun. Outside the booth, they could hear the sounds of Hueningkai and Soobin arguing over a plastic mustache.

If they tried really hard, they could pretend that it was just like any other day—and shouldn’t it be like that anyway, Yeonjun contemplated. He debated about asking Taehyun whether he thought this was for the best; knowing they’d pass within 24 hours.

As if sensing Yeonjun’s internal conflict, Taehyun reached out to push the last few coins into their slot. The photobooth roared to life, a woman’s voice welcoming them and instructing them on what to click next. Neither of the two tapped on anything on the screen.

But then Taehyun shrugged. “Come on,” he encouraged. “Let’s leave them with good-looking photos of us.”

Before the two could pose properly, though, Beomgyu burst through the curtains of the photo booth. “Cheese!” he screeched, throwing himself over Taehyun and Yeonjun’s legs.

“Hey!” Yeonjun protested, trying to shove Beomgyu off his lap. Meanwhile, Taehyun started giggling and making room for Beomgyu on the bench.

Click. Click. Click.

“Why must you ruin everything?” Yeonjun groaned as the photo strips printed out. In the first two photos, he and Taehyun looked fine; the remaining four were extremely chaotic with Beomgyu’s unexpected entrance.

“You look best here, don’t you think?” Beomgyu said innocently, pointing out the picture where Yeonjun was mid-yell. The older boy raised his hand as if to smack Beomgyu, who promptly ducked behind Hueningkai for protection.

“We can take more,” Taehyun assured. Despite his tousled hair and the beads of sweat trailing down his face, he shone brighter than he ever had. There was a reassuring smile on his face, one that had found comfort in an inevitable fate. 

When all is said and done, that is how Yeonjun chooses to remember Taehyun; the healthy, happy Taehyun of this moment.

Yeonjun doesn’t know that yet, of course. Not while it’s happening. “I want one with our baby Hyuka,” he announced, reaching out for the youngest of their group.

“I’ll get some with Soobin and Beomgyu then,” Taehyun responded.

They took photos with each other and of each other. Taehyun and Yeonjun eventually got their own photo strip without Beomgyu interrupting. The five of them had at least seven different sets together until they’d run through each prop the booth had to offer, and they’d played with every single filter available.

Hueningkai held on to the photo strips as if they were important documents. As they went out to grab some snacks at one of the nearby food stalls, Yeonjun followed Hueningkai wandering over to a corner.

“What are you doing?” Yeonjun asked.

The blonde boy had laid out all the photos and was attempting to take a picture of them. “Oh, I was making a post on my Instagram account,” he admitted, sounding a bit shy of the fact.

“I saw you posted for the first time earlier.”

“Yeah, I never had a reason to use my account before. I guess I just... want to document today. I don’t want to forget anything.”

The slight quiver in his voice damn near made Yeonjun cry. Reeling in his emotions, Yeonjun moved around some of the photo strips. “Here,” he said. “I think it looks better like that.”

Smiling appreciatively, Hueningkai snapped his picture.

“What should I caption it?”

They both paused, contemplating. 

“Ah, I’ve got it!” Hueningkai said excitedly, typing away at his phone. Yeonjun peered over his shoulder to check.

“‘Five forever,’” Yeonjun read out loud.

“Five forever,” Hueningkai repeated resolutely, looking straight at Yeonjun. “No matter what.”  

If he had a choice, Yeonjun would have gone out dancing. 

Dance was one of the few constants in his life. It was something Yeonjun whole-heartedly knew that he was good at. He meant to be an instructor, even, had the Death-cast call never happened.

His peers constantly joked that he was in the running to take over their studio’s director role. Guess they were wrong, Yeonjun bitterly thought to himself as he intently scrolled through his phone for a song. 

His final dance break song. 

The boys had set out after Lotte World to go clothes shopping when Yeonjun remembered one of the other to-dos on his list. Film and post a dance video. They took a detour to the nearest park and loitered a bit, and Yeonjun was reckoned with the most difficult decision of his dancing career. 

All this time, he refused to upload any clips of him dancing. Sure, there were some up on the Internet; group dances from the studio, an Instagram story here and there from his friends. But Yeonjun had never uploaded one himself— never quite ready for that kind of self-exposure. 

Now or never, he decided. 

“You did Watermelon Sugar earlier today, didn’t you?” Soobin asked as he curiously peered over Yeonjun’s shoulder to check the song options. “The remix with Blow. Why don’t you just redo that?” 

“I want to do something new. Something original,” Yeonjun responded distractedly. FEVER? Paper Hearts? “But all of these, I’ve already danced to.”

“What about one of ours?” Beomgyu offered, yawning and stretching absentmindedly. 

Yeonjun stopped scrolling. 

Taehyun, from a bench away, let out a groan. “You know the demos we make aren’t serious,” he complained. “And don’t you have an ounce of shame, Gyu? Those songs were kind of—”

“Don’t you dare call them bad!” Beomgyu interrupted defensively. “Our songs could have made it big if you weren’t so keen on locking them up!”

“Upload it once I’m gone, then,” Taehyun deadpanned. “Call that shit posthumous.” 

As Beomgyu flinched and Hueningkai rained a few punches down Taehyun’s back, Yeonjun sped through their group chat to find the recording of their latest arrangement. They’d composed only around half of it, promising each other that they would continue the rest on their next first Friday. 

The rock instrumentals of their demo LOSER=LOVER struck up and echoed across the empty park. Soobin’s singing came out loud and clear through Yeonjun’s phone speakers.

“I’m a loser, I’m a loser,” Soobin crooned along with the audio. In the background, Taehyun covered his ears and Beomgyu perked up, ready to steal Yeonjun’s parts in the song. 

Had it been any other day, Yeonjun would have rolled his eyes at the younger boy, but his mind was busy putting together the pieces of a possible dance routine. Usually, it took him days to come up with one that he was content with. He didn’t have that much time tonight.

“Okay, I think I’m ready,” Yeonjun announced after one full listen of the unfinished track. He stood and positioned himself between the row of blooming dogwood trees, trying to shake out the lingering uneasiness.

“I can film you!” Hueningkai cried out excitedly, standing across Yeonjun as the latter did some light stretching. Yeonjun shot him an appreciative thumbs up. 

Inhale. They’d all seen him dance before; he could just never fully shake his nervousness. The others seemed to pick up on this, quickly giving Yeonjun small forms of affirmation.

Beomgyu let out encouraging hoots and chanted Yeonjun’s name. Taehyun finally lowered his hands from his ears, smiling assuredly in anticipation of the routine. And Soobin pulled out his own phone, finger poised expectantly over his record button. 

Exhale. 

Yeonjun hit play, and immediately found himself consumed by the music.

It was like second nature to him. Every agile step, every sharp turn. He followed along to the song as if it were something he’d practiced his whole life. Each beat reverberated to his very bone, filling his chest with so much joy he felt like a balloon that just might burst.

“Here comes the good stuff!” Beomgyu squealed as Taehyun started humming along. Love you, love you, love you; no matter what I do. 

“I say run, laugh like you’ve gone mad, ” Hueningkai belted out. Yeonjun almost missed a step because of how it distracted him, but he was glad to have small disturbances such as Beomgyu trying to mimic his dance moves or Taehyun finally screaming the lyrics out loud as well.

The post-chorus was his and Beomgyu’s part. It was the easiest choreography to think of, too. I’m a loser, his pre-recorded self sang, and the Yeonjun dancing threw up an L with his pointer finger and thumb. He broke out into a smile, feeling as if the world were spinning. 

It’s the sensation he’ll miss the most. The heat, the soreness. Even then, he knows that his body will ache most for the rush he had come to adore. 

The song ended abruptly, and Yeonjun snapped out of his trance.

The boys were all clapping and cheering. “I can’t believe you did all that in one go,” Taehyun complimented as Beomgyu and Hueningkai surged forward to envelope Yeonjun in a hug. 

“I’m sweaty!” the oldest boy complained laughingly, allowing them to embrace him nonetheless.

“I have the fan cam version!” Soobin joked, holding up his phone. “Where do you want it?” 

Grinning widely over Beomgyu and Hueningkai’s shoulders, Yeonjun told Soobin, “Everywhere.” 

If there was anything Beomgyu and Yeonjun so intimately shared, it would be their terrific sense of fashion— something the rest of the boys were so painfully ignorant about. 

So when Yeonjun had to choose someone to accompany him to the 24/7 Myeongdeong thrift shops— Taehyun complained that he was tired and wanted to go back to his dorm— the answer was as clear as day. Beomgyu and Yeonjun promised to regroup with them back at Taehyun’s within an hour.

It was a comforting shopping spree, actually. Beomgyu must have toned down his energy, only hitting Yeonjun with the occasional wisecrack compared to the typical several jokes per minute. Briefly, Yeonjun worried that he was being pitied. 

“This would look good on Hyuka,” Beomgyu commented, holding up a light gray sweatshirt for Yeonjun to see. The two were in their last store. They already had eco bags crammed to the brim with clothes, but they’d decided to do a final stop before heading home.

“I was thinking about this one for Soobin,” Yeonjun said in turn, showing off a black and yellow embroidered vest. 

“That one’s nice.”

“I think Hyuka would fit comfortably in that panel shirt over there, too.” 

After snagging a couple more overrun Ralph Lauren pieces and three pairs of specs for Soobin, the two fell in line for checkout. “I can’t believe we didn’t do this more often,” Beomgyu hummed, rustling through the picks. “Shopping with Soobin was so boring. He only ever wanted to go to the department store.”

“I gave up on Hyuka, too,” Yeonjun laughed. He was excited to see Hueningkai’s expression; a lot of the clothes they’d picked for him were sure to fit his style. “This should be enough to last them for a little while.”

“And then they’ll go back to their plain clothes?” 

“And then you’ll buy them more.” 

A long pause followed Yeonjun’s words.

Though he had packaged it as a joke, they both knew the underlying message lurking under the lighthearted tone. You’ll take care of them, right? Yeonjun was asking. 

Beomgyu pursed his lips together and nodded, answering the unspoken question. I will.

Yeonjun gave him an appreciative smile. I knew I could count on you. 

“What else do you have on your bucket list, anyway?” Beomgyu asked in an effort to change the topic. They shuffled forward awkwardly, the line in front of them moving along rather slow. 

“Just some serious stuff left, really,” Yeonjun replied vaguely. To write his last will and testament was still left unchecked. He wasn’t sure how or when he’d do it; sitting down and accepting his fate like that was a terrifying ordeal. “There is one that’s pretty tame, but I’m thinking of just crossing it out completely.” 

“Which?” 

“To go on a date.” Yeonjun laughed at the thought of it. It seemed so trivial now. 

He’d put it down because he hadn’t really had the time to go on a proper date. Though his mother tried setting him up with her neighbors’ daughters— and even though Soobin offered a double date every now and then— Yeonjun found that he was always too busy, too disinterested, too insecure.

A small part of him wished he’d said yes to at least one of them so he could have a memory at a cafe or a cinema. But he was so caught up in thinking that he had so much more time than he actually did, and he thought his first date would be something special— only to have it not happen at all. 

Nothing good comes to those who wait, he thought woefully. 

Beomgyu whipped out his phone and clicked on an app. Leaning over to peek, Yeonjun saw that it was for dating. He knew that Beomgyu and Soobin had profiles. He just couldn’t be bothered to get one, too. Putting himself out there like that felt scary. 

“This is a great way to find a date, even if you’re in a bit of a clutch,” Beomgyu chirped. “I’ve used it before when I needed someone to go with me to a wedding or a school fair.” 

“That’s smart.” 

“I know right? Anyway— we’re not here to talk about the obvious.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes, but Beomgyu barreled on. “Let’s make you a profile.” 

“I don’t know…” Yeonjun started hesitantly. Beomgyu was quick to interject. 

“What are you scared of?” he challenged. “What do you have to lose, really?” 

Yesterday, Yeonjun might have answered his dignity or his pride. In the thrift shop, though, he begrudgingly had to admit that Beomgyu was right. He had nothing to lose. 

“Sign me up,” Yeonjun conceded, and Beomgyu broke out into a proud grin. 

After arguing over which photos of Yeonjun to choose, Beomgyu typed out a prospective bio to go on his profile. Urgent: Dying boy seeking a mind-blowing date that will let him go out with a bang. 

“You make it sound so dirty,” Yeonjun groaned, grabbing the phone from Beomgyu and deleting the entire text.

As the latter protested, Yeonjun tried his hand at a bio. Less than 24 hours left and looking for love. Be my baby before burying me six feet under? 

“How pessimistic!” Beomgyu cried disapprovingly, though both of them were shaking with laughter. For a short while, they took turns writing terrible descriptions.

Beomgyu typed out Let’s kill this love, to which Yeonjun added ‘Till (my) death do we part.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Beomgyu concluded as he gasped for air. “Come on, we’re not even in the actual app yet.”

The next screen asked for Yeonjun’s dating preference.

Beomgyu tapped on the ‘Women’ button, showing it to Yeonjun for approval.

Riding on their shared joy and his newfound confidence, Yeonjun mindlessly blurted out, “Can you actually choose ‘Both’?”

In our life, we often experience “oh” moments. Modest points in time where so many things can shift in a split second. For both Beomgyu and Yeonjun— in that thrift shop line, with their sore arms carrying more clothes that either of them could ever need— that was one of those junctures for the two of them.

“Oh,” Beomgyu said, and it occurred to Yeonjun, suddenly. What he’d asked for. 

Fear went off in Yeonjun’s brain like a screeching, bright red fire alarm. He wanted to take it back. He could say it was a joke.

But there was something in Beomgyu’s face— an expression that wasn’t of judgment or disgust. There was a gentle hopefulness to the way he looked at Yeonjun then. He looked so painfully reassuring, so ready to accept whatever Yeonjun wanted to do, wanted to be. 

So how could Yeonjun lie to him? 

“Yeah,” Yeonjun choked out, clenching his jaw nervously. 

“I never knew,” Beomgyu mumbled before switching the options. Then, quickly, he added: “Me, too. I mean—I chose ‘Both’, too. I’m… I am, too.” 

It was Yeonjun’s turn to say “Oh.” 

“Yeah,” Beomgyu chuckled. “I guess you never know, huh?” 

Yeonjun nodded wordlessly, hoping that Beomgyu wouldn’t prod any further. Thankfully, the cashier finally called them to the front.

As Yeonjun unloaded the clothes they’d shopped, Beomgyu gestured that he’d do it. He shoved his phone at Yeonjun and pushed him to one side.

“If you want a date, you should get busy swiping,” Beomgyu said, beaming with amusement as he geared up for his punch line. “Let them know you’re dead serious.”

Hueningkai, Soobin, and Taehyun were watching something on Netflix by the time Beomgyu and Yeonjun got back. 

The three were settled comfortably on the couch, sharing several opened bags of junk food and two bottles of cider. “Is that Squid Game? You’re watching without me?!” Beomgyu whined, trying to grab the remote from Soobin. 

“I’m dying. I think I deserve to know what happens in episode six,” Taehyun said blankly before popping a chip in his mouth. Beomgyu pretended not to hear him, still scuffling with an indignant Soobin who was trying hard not to tear his gaze away from the screen. Meanwhile, Hueningkai greeted Yeonjun and helped him carry the bags into the room. 

“Oh, this is so soft!” Hueningkai cried, zeroing out on the sweatshirt from earlier.

“Beomgyu picked that out for you,” Yeonjun said proudly. 

“Thank you, Gyu!” 

With Beomgyu successfully pausing the show, Soobin leaned over to inspect the pile of clothes that Hueningkai had toppled over. “This is a lot,” he said in awe.

“Please, this is barely half of what Yeonjun and I have,” Beomgyu scoffed. 

As Taehyun ducked out to go to the bathroom, the boys sorted through the articles of clothing. Hueningkai and Soobin were incredibly enthusiastic, building each other’s pile of new clothes; mixing and matching some on the spot. While Beomgyu was criticizing their pairings, Yeonjun once again noticed a gap in their group.

A space that was left unfilled. 

Yeonjun excused himself and stumbled over the clothes, towards the bathroom. It was unlocked. He peeked inside and found it empty. Something in his stomach sank at the sight of minuscule blood droplets on the toilet lid. How had no one noticed Taehyun slipping away? 

Suddenly hyperaware, Yeonjun heard the distant, muted click of the front door closing. 

Why was Taehyun trying to slip away? 

Telling the rest that they were going on a quick 7-Eleven run— and swearing to the other boys that they’d both come back in one piece—Yeonjun grabbed his windbreaker and rushed out to follow Taehyun. It didn’t take much to find him. He was hanging out at the bus stop nearest his dorm, a city map in his hands. 

Taehyun didn’t look surprised to see Yeonjun jogging up to him. 

“Of course you’d notice,” Taehyun said once Yeonjun had reached him. “Do the others know?” 

“We’re at 7-Eleven,” Yeonjun responded stiffly. The other boy cocked his head to one side as if assessing the lie. 

“Believable. You should grab some bread for Soobin on your way back.” 

“On our way back.” 

“I’m not going back there, and you know it.” 

Cold, callous, and calculating. Those were the typical words one would use to describe Taehyun. In their group, Taehyun was the most stable and reliable; he managed Beomgyu’s erratic moods and always looked out for Hueningkai.

It was easy to forget that he was on the younger end, considering how mature he always presented himself to be. 

None of that maturity seemed to shine through in that very bus stop. Yeonjun saw Taehyun for what he was: A teenage boy counting his minutes left. 

“Why not?” Yeonjun asked. He was firmly rooted to his spot. As much as Taehyun looked like he wanted to be alone, Yeonjun just couldn’t cut him some slack. “Come on, Taehyun. Come home with me.” 

“I’m sick, hyung. I’ve been for a while now,” Taehyun said with a sad, sad. “You’ve noticed, right?” 

Yeonjun had noticed. He’d taken trips to the drug store to buy Taehyun some painkillers. He’d cooked him soup for comfort. He’d even insisted that they should go to the hospital and check it out, but Taehyun was dead set on riding out what they thought to be a run-of-the-mill flu. 

“I finally got it checked this morning. My sister brought me. No one could figure out a proper diagnosis, but right after our appointment—” Taehyun faltered. He met Yeonjun’s eyes. “The damn Death-cast call is so scripted, isn’t it?” 

Yeonjun slumped down onto the vacant seat next to Taehyun.

“Anyway, I told my family over lunch,” Taehyun went on. “I wasn’t planning on letting the boys know—I just wanted to have a nice dinner and call it a day—but you…” 

“How did you know before I told you? You looked like you already had a feeling.” 

“I’ve always been the smartest one,” Taehyun retorted. Yeonjun wouldn’t have contested him either way. 

Humoring Yeonjun, Taehyun folded his hands over his lap and smirked ever so slightly. “We both balked at Hueningkai saying that the pizza was ‘to die for’,” he said. “I don’t think you would have reacted that way were it any other day. For you to react to something as offhanded as that, you must be worried about dying.” 

“Why aren’t you saying goodbye?” Yeonjun asked abruptly, the words tumbling over each other as his curiosity got the best of him. Taehyun winced in the slightest.

Taehyun didn’t owe Yeonjun an explanation, but Yeonjun couldn’t think straight. If he could, he would keep Taehyun by his side for the rest of their 24 hours. It was cruel to admit that Yeonjun didn’t want to be the one left living.

“I want to die alone,” Taehyun said decisively after a pause.

“Where no one I love will have to find me. My family thinks I’m with you. And you,” he looked straight at Yeonjun. “Will let the boys think that I’m with my family.” 

Yeonjun recoiled as if he’d been punched. “You want me to lie to them?” 

“Consider it my dying wish.”

“Taehyun!” 

“Yeonjun.” The missing honorific made them both falter a bit. Taehyun took the edge out of his tone for his next words.

“I won’t be in the middle of nowhere. There’s a wing at the Seoul National Hospital for people who have been called. They make the funeral preparations and when you— when you’re— they let your legal guardian know. My sister knows, so she’s ready to pick me up.” 

“I don’t want any of you to see me lose any more of my strength than I already have,” Taehyun went on steadily. “Let them remember the Taehyun who went to Lotte World with them. The Taehyun who tried his best not to spoil Squid Game. Let that be who I am. Not the Taeyun who’s coughing up blood.” For added effect, Taehyun reached out to clasp Yeonjun’s hands. He clung tightly, even as Yeonjun tried to pull away. “You’ll do that for me. Won’t you, hyung?” Taehyun pleaded, voice cracking. “You’ll let me have this.” 

“You are cruel, Kang Taehyun,” Yeonjun responded through gritted teeth. “You are heartless and insensitive, and I will never forgive you.” 

In turn, Taehyun gave him a gentle smile. The bus was rolling up to the stop. There’s no one here for you, Yeonjun wanted to yell at the driver. You’re not going to take him from me.  

“There are letters on the bedside table,” he said. “I’ve left my phone at home, too, because when they start calling, I’ll want to answer— and it will take everything in me not to.”

Taehyun released his grip on Yeonjun. “I’m sorry, hyung. I’ll never be sorry enough.” 

“If you’re really sorry, you wouldn’t be leaving,” Yeonjun seethed. He knew that he sounded hopeless and whiny, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. Not when he was hurting. 

Taehyun flinched at his words; Yeonjun didn’t take them back. He trusted that Taehyun knew the depth of his distress and why this was so difficult for him. 

It was a sorrow so deep that Yeonjun couldn’t bring himself to hug Taehyun back as the latter mumbled his goodbyes. 

At his own death, Yeonjun will think of that moment. It will be his one regret. 

Taehyun boarded the night bus that would shuttle him to Seoul National Hospital. Contrary to Yeonjun’s belief, Taehyun was oblivious to Yeonjun’s pain of mourning someone who was still alive.

The younger boy sat with his heavy heart, wondering if he was making the smart— no, the right— choice. 

The bus pulled away from the stop and Taehyun glanced at Yeonjun through the window’s reflection. Slumped in defeat, his friend remained motionless before standing. Taehyun expected Yeonjun to head back to his dorm. 

But then Yeonjun hit the ground running. 

He darted down the sidewalk, following the bus’s route. Taehyun sat up. Palm against the window, he watched Yeonjun sprint past pedestrians and haphazardly slide down the pavement.

“That boy’s crazy,” the bus driver commented offhandedly. 

It was a scene straight out of a television drama, and it made Taehyun laugh in spite of himself. Thankfully, Yeonjun’s chase was cut short as the bus stopped at a red light. To Taehyun’s absolute horror, the older boy started banging his fists against the bus’s sliding doors.

“Hey, stop that!” the bus driver yelled. “I’ll call the police on you, you psycho!”

Yeonjun kept knocking, demanding entry. “I just need one minute! Please, just give me one minute!” 

“Get the fuck away from this bus right now, kid!” 

Unnerved, Yeonjun took a step back and did a quick scan of the bus until his eyes met Taehyun’s.

Without missing a beat, the older boy hollered loud enough that Taehyun could hear his sincerity through the glass: “I forgive you, Kang Taehyun! I forgive you!”

The stoplight turned green and the bus quickly pulled away from the intersection, leaving Yeonjun standing dejected on the street. As the bus driver cursed him and the other commuters whispered among themselves, Taehyun buried his face in the crook of his elbow to hide his face. 

He was stupidly relieved to finally be alone. Later, when they give him a room to pass away in, he will assure the attending nurse that he has made peace with his fate. But in the bus where there are nothing but strangers, where no one knows who Taehyun is, he allows himself the grace of fearing death. 

And for the first time in a long time— for the last time in his young life— Kang Taehyun let himself cry. 

As Yeonjun expected, the boys weren’t happy with the lie of Taehyun heading back home. 

They weren’t angry. None of them could seem to be mad at the dying boy.

Hueningkai was upset, constantly ringing Taehyun’s cell; Yeonjun itched to tell him that it was futile. Soobin buried his head in his hands, the forgotten episode of Squid Game playing on in the background.

“The last thing I said to him was that I hated him for watching without me,” Beomgyu said. His empty gaze was trained towards the television. “I’m never going to be able to take that back.” 

“I’m sure he knows you didn’t mean it,” Yeonjun said. He thought of his last image of Taehyun; hand to the window, jaw slack with shock. “This is what he wanted.”

Hueningkai collapsed onto the couch after his nth phone call went unanswered. No one could look at each other, so they quietly sat through the duration of the show’s episode.

The sounds of Soobin’s sniffles echoed in the small room, overlapping with Taehyun’s voicemail recording. 

Hello, this is Kang Taehyun. I can’t answer your call right now. Leave a message after the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. 

“He left letters,” Yeonjun announced as Squid Game ’s credits rolled. “They’re in his room.” 

No one responded. It was as if Yeonjun hadn’t spoken at all. 

“I’m going to go read mine. You can come with me if you want.” 

Neither Beomgyu, Hueningkai, nor Soobin moved an inch. 

Standing so suddenly that he knocked into the coffee table, Yeonjun let out a hiss before glancing at his remaining friends. They refused to meet his eyes. He wished he could do something for them, but he was honestly just as broken and betrayed. 

“Suit yourself,” he said wretchedly, not meaning to have so much venom in his tone. He stalked into Taehyun’s room and made it a point to slam the door close behind him. 

It took Yeonjun a moment to realize that Taehyun had prepared for this. Most of the room was bare, save for a few cardboard boxes in one corner.

When Yeonjun took a peek, he realized that Taehyun had packed away everything; his camera, his posters, his clothes. All that was left was his mattress, where four envelopes were neatly laid out in a row. 

“You’re not actually going to read your letter.” 

Yeonjun didn’t jump at the sudden intrusion. Beomgyu wasn’t asking a question, either; he was stating a fact. 

“No, I’m not,” Yeonjun admitted, staring at the precise handwriting that lined the outside of the named letters. “Not yet.” 

“Okay. Well, I will.” 

To Yeonjun’s shock, Beomgyu stepped past him and snatched the paper that had his name. He ripped open the envelope and got to reading. Cautiously, Yeonjun watched Beomgyu. 

Slowly, Beomgyu’s shoulders dropped. When he bent his head, Yeonjun realized what was happening.

Beomgyu’s sobs were quiet— unassuming and wounded. The grief washed over the two of them like waves. Yeonjun did not know how to keep his head above the water.  

“He loved us, right?” Beomgyu asked suddenly, turning to face Yeonjun. “Even if he left. He loved us.” 

“He did.” 

“And he knows I never hated him. He had to have known that.” 

“He did.” 

With the back of his fist, Beomgyu forcefully wiped the tears out of his eyes. Yeonjun is struck by how young he looks; by how young they all are, to have to deal with all this. 

“I should have been nicer to him,” Beomgyu said. He glanced down at the letter before shoving it into the back pocket of his jeans. “Then maybe... “ 

“It wouldn’t have changed his mind,” Yeonjun said quietly. Then, because he didn’t know what else to say, he simply repeated himself from earlier that night: “This is what he wanted.” 

Beomgyu didn’t point it out, anyway. He sighed heavily and shut his eyes, seemingly letting the worst of the news hit him. Yeonjun knew he ought to have done something then— maybe reached out and hugged the younger boy— but he was too lost in his own misery to realize that Beomgyu’s heartbreak ran deeper, if only because Taehyun’s affections for him were different. The letter gave away as much.

Like a switch that had been flipped, Beomgyu forced himself to speak in a lighter tone. “You’ve still got a few things on your bucket list, right? Why don’t we get them done?” 

“I hardly think that a date is appropriate right no—” 

“‘This is what he wanted,’” Beomgyu parroted, mimicking even Yeonjun’s intonation. “I’m sure Taehyun would hate to see you moping.” 

Yeonjun shook his head, too tired to argue. “I haven’t matched with anyone on the app. And besides, I can’t imagine going out with a stranger who will have no idea what I’m going through.” 

“Then go out with me.” 

The shocked silence that followed stretched between the two of them, filling every corner of the room.

Yeonjun was taken back to the compliment he paid Beomgyu earlier that night. I’ve always loved how shameless you can be. The thin line between brashness and bravery blurred at that moment as Yeonjun gawked at Beomgyu, who refused to falter. 

“I won’t ask why you seem sad or what your thoughts are on death,” Beomgyu insisted. “We’ll grab a coffee. Share a bingsu. And I’ll pretend not to know much about you so I can ask you what your blood type is, then I’ll lie that we’re compatible.” 

“That’s a thing?” Yeonjun asked dumbly. 

Beomgyu gave the older boy a watery smile. “Anything for a second date. But since we can only have one, I promise to cram in everything you’ve been missing out on. I’ll even fight for the bill.” 

“Why?” 

“Why would I fight for the bill?” 

“No, no. Why are you— Why are you doing this?” 

Beomgyu’s hesitation was fleeting. Yeonjun caught it nonetheless. If he had only been a little more observant, he might have noticed the blush tinging Beomgyu’s ear or the tremor in his twitching fingers. 

“Because it’s on your bucket list,” Beomgyu said. “Taehyun finished his. You should get to clear yours, too.” 

There was no way for Yeonjun to know if Beomgyu was lying. Taehyun had kept his bucket list mostly a secret, though he had assured Yeonjun at some point that it was ‘short and sweet’. It was likely that he had divulged in Beomgyu, and Yeonjun wasn’t in the business of doubting such a simple fact.

Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a little more to Beomgyu’s offer. Yeonjun reflected if the proposition would have still come up had their thrift shop conversation not happened.

But Beomgyu was never insincere, and Yeonjun wanted to give him a tender memory that only the two of them shared. 

And so Yeonjun said yes. When Beomgyu tried his hardest not to smile too widely, the older boy forced himself to quiet the fluttering in his chest.

This was not part of the plan. Vaguely, he felt like he was making a mistake. 

How could he be, though, he thought, as Beomgyu beamed and blabbered about where they should go? 

How could such a good thing be wrong? 

It happened like this.

The two agreed on a nearby breakfast cafe. Yeonjun had avoided counting down, but it was difficult to miss the fact that the sun had already risen. That meant he had only a few more hours before his 24 were up.

Yeonjun got to the cafe first because Beomgyu said he’d stop by somewhere with Hueningkai. Soobin was initially reluctant, finally letting them go and succumbing to the fact that he was emotionally spent. When Yeonjun left Taehyun’s dorm, Soobin was napping on the couch.

Yeonjun made it a point to tuck a blanket around him.

Bored out of his mind, Yeonjun was carving Taehyun’s initials into the wooden table when it happened. 

And it happened so fast. 

He heard Beomgyu calling his name. He looked up to see the younger boy holding a bouquet of tulips.

There was a sweet smile on his face and a spring in his step as he locked eyes with Yeonjun and skipped down the pedestrian lane. It touched Yeonjun, that Beomgyu had gone out of his way to buy him blue and purple tulips; his favorite flowers in his favorite color.

A grin was tugging at Yeonjun’s lips when the speeding car slammed mercilessly into Beomgyu’s frame.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re dying. Yeonjun had always wanted to know what his highlight reel would look like. He had never thought that you could imagine someone else’s life while they were dying.

Vision blurring with panic as he rushed to Beomgyu’s side, Yeonjun found himself flooded with flashbulb moments of Beomgyu. 

The first time he’d lost a game to him. Their arguments over mint chocolate chip ice cream. Beomgyu coining the term ‘hiccup’ for the trip-ups on Yeonjun’s Good Days, after Hueningkai had accidentally cleaned out his hard drive while downloading anime. 

This was the worst hiccup that could possibly happen, Yeonjun thought as he dropped to his knees.

Beomgyu looked dazed, lying motionless on the pavement. As Yeonjun scooped him up, the younger boy looked up at him with a bleary expression, seeming more confused than hurt.

“Hey,” Beomgyu croaked. “I think I got hit.” 

“Hey,” Yeonjun responded, trying his best not to sound too hysterical lest he scare Beomgyu. “You’re fine, though. You’re fine.” 

The driver of the car stepped out of his vehicle, looking horrified. One side of Yeonjun filled with a searing, murderous rage. He was about to stand and swing at the stranger until Beomgyu started coughing vigorously. 

“Call a hospital! Now!” Yeonjun bellowed at the driver. His voice cracked with desperation. “He’s not supposed to die today. He’s not supposed to die!”

“Hyung—” Beomgyu tried to say, failing to finish his sentence as he spat up more blood. 

Cradling Beomgyu’s head in his lap, Yeonjun clung onto his friend tightly. “I don’t understand,” he stuttered. “I don’t—I can’t—”

Beomgyu was mumbling something incoherent. Yeonjun leaned in closer, catching Beomgyu’s repeating words: “I’m sorry, hyung. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, idiot?” Yeonjun whimpered. “You can’t die. You’re not going to die. You haven’t been called yet, Beomgyu.”

It’s in that earth-shattering moment— as Beomgyu wasted his breath apologizing, struggling to keep his eyes open but trying his best to look straight at Yeonjun anyway— it’s then that it dawned on Yeonjun.

Beomgyu had known about Lotte World and Death-cast. Beomgyu had tried his best to squeeze into all of Taehyun and Yeonjun’s photos. And Beomgyu at the restaurant fronting had echoed the script Yeonjun heard in the studio’s locker room.

Don’t you want to live the rest of your life fully? 

“You haven’t been called yet,” Yeonjun repeated. He knew he was in denial at this point, but this was the worst possible thing that could happen to him. “Come on. Tell me you haven’t been called.”

Instead of doing as he was asked, Beomgyu reached out to hold Yeonjun’s face.

The slightest movement seemed to take so much of his remaining energy, yet he persisted despite Yeonjun’s protests. Delicately, Beomgyu cupped Yeonjun’s cheek with one of his hands. 

“I didn’t want anyone worrying over me,” he admitted softly. It broke Yeonjun, how uncharacteristically frail Beomgyu sounded. “I thought death would be a little easier on me.”

Yeonjun wailed, doubling over to bury his face in Beomgyu’s shoulder. The sharp smell of smoke and blood hit him hard. “Damn you, Beomgyu. We wasted all your time doing things that Taehyun wanted— that I wanted—”

Beomgyu laughed and winced immediately right after. 

“All I ever wanted to do was to be with you four,” Beomgyu said, and Yeonjun started crying so hard that he was sure this would be the cause of his own death— the way the sobs wracked his frame, the pure fear that struck his heart.

Beomgyu’s voice was barely above a whisper as he went on. “I’m sorry you never got to go on your date, hyung,” he mumbled, gesturing weakly at the bouquet he had been carrying.

Save for a petal or two, the tulips had miraculously survived the impact. Red spots stained the kraft wrapping paper. “I like to think I would have been a good one,” Beomgyu breathed.  

“You would have been the best,” Yeonjun said fiercely. Beomgyu smiled contentedly.

“I know you’re just saying that, but I’ll take it,” he responded. His eyes fluttered to a close and the pained expression on his face softened. For a heartbeat, Yeonjun was scared that he’d lost him.

Thankfully, Beomgyu exhaled sharply, his unfocused gaze trying to find Yeonjun’s own.

“Hey, don’t give up on me now,” Yeonjun begged. He closed his fingers around Beomgyu’s shoulder, pulling the younger boy closer to his chest.

They could both hear the distant sounds of an ambulance siren. “We’ve still got a lot to do. Hyuka and Soobin are still waiting for you.” 

“Hyuka and Soobin…” Beomgyu repeated slowly. “Tell them I love them, won’t you?” 

“Tell them yourself.” 

“I’m sorry I can’t buy them more clothes.”

“Don’t say that. Please, don’t say that.” 

“And I’m sorry to be leaving you, hyung.” 

Yeonjun let out a broken sob. “You’re not leaving me. You can’t,” he said. “Stop apologizing, because we’re going to get you to a hospital and patch you up, and we’re going to go on the best date, and you’re going to live many happy years—” 

“Do you want to hear something selfish?” Beomgyu interrupted. The ambulance was rounding the corner. “This whole time, I prayed to go before you.” 

“Why?” Yeonjun asked wretchedly.

The ambulance parked and the driver ran to meet them. “I can’t imagine a world without you, Choi Yeonjun,” Beomgyu said with bated breath. Yeonjun wondered why he’d never noticed it before; the devotion in Beomgyu’s tone, the star-like shine in his eyes. “And I’m glad that I won’t have to.”

As the paramedics rolled out a stretcher— as Yeonjun kept insisting that he could still be saved— Beomgyu thought nothing of the blinding hurt ripping through his body. He closed his eyes, finding comfort in the fact that he was in the arms of someone he loved. Not everyone could say they were half as lucky, he decided. 

Throughout the night, he was curious what his last words would be; if he would have a choice at all. He had wanted it to be something cool, something awesome. But as he clung to Yeonjun, he knew that there was only one last thing to say.

Grinning, he wiped away some tears from Yeonjun’s panicked expression. 

The paramedics were already swooping in and grabbing his ruptured body away from Yeonjun, but the older boy was still hanging on to him as if his own life depended on it. Beomgyu tried to commit the scene to memory.

Yeonjun, with his wild expression and tousled hair; his lips quivering, his eyes full of fear. It pained Beomgyu to leave him like this. Greedily, it relieved him that he would be the one going first. 

“Take all the time you need,” Beomgyu assured, giving Yeonjun’s hand a final squeeze. 

Beomgyu managed the ghost of a smile. “But don’t keep me waiting too long, yeah?” he said. 

Then he shut his eyes— and nothing much was left after that. 

It turned out that Choi Beomgyu did get to choose his last words after all.

 Yeonjun was the one who made the calls. He let Beomgyu’s parents know, then his brothers.

He called Soobin, who didn’t answer; he called Hueningkai, who picked up on the first ring. 

Hueningkai and Soobin made it to the hospital within ten minutes of the call ending. 

Disoriented, they all listened to a doctor rattle on about comas and chances. “This means he’ll get better, right?” Hueningkai asked no one in particular once the discussion was over. “He hasn’t been called, so he’ll wake up soon enough.” 

The two older boys shared a look. Yeonjun shook his head, and Soobin squeezed his eyes shut. Hueningkai watched the brief interaction unfold, stumped by what he was missing out on.

“Beomgyu didn’t get called by Death-cast,” Hueningkai repeated louder, as if his first statement was simply too quiet to be true. “He’s going to wake up from his coma.”

At a loss for words, Yeonjun reached out to hug Hueningkai. Soobin followed in suit. The youngest tried to squirm of their grip, not wanting to accept the implications of their remorse. “Let go of me. Don’t act like— don’t make me think that he— you’re both being—”

Eventually, Hueningkai stopped fighting.

For a moment, he stayed completely still as Soobin and Yeonjun held on to him. The trio stood there in the middle of the hospital hallway, huddled together while bawling over a betrayal that only they could share.

For Yeonjun, it felt like the world was closing in on him. He was spared by the harsh comfort of Hueningkai and Soobin feeling the same emptying loss.

After what felt like an eternity, they stumbled over to one of the waiting room benches so they could regain some strength.

“Did you know?” Soobin asked, voice hollow. 

Yeonjun shook his head. His throat felt raw from all the crying. He couldn’t imagine speaking without wavering. 

Instead, he turned to Hueningkai, who was staring at a photograph. It was his latest Instagram post from an hour or so ago— a shot of the flower shop he and Beomgyu had visited. The bouquet Beomgyu had bought lay a few seats away from the trio. 

“You should make a post here, too,” Yeonjun said suddenly. Hueningkai looked up at him skeptically. He had a right to be dubious; updating one’s Instagram didn’t seem like it ought to be a priority.

But Yeonjun wanted to honor Beomgyu somehow, wanted to immortalize him somewhere. 

“You have to remember,” Yeonjun insisted. “Even the bad things.” 

The rest of the sentence lingered between the two of them. Because soon enough, I won’t be around to remember any of it. 

“Even the bad things,” Hueningkai repeated.

He took a picture of the hallway. As he typed a caption with shaky fingers, Yeonjun rested his head on his shoulder, and Soobin held Yeonjun’s hand.

They drew from each other what little strength they could share. 

They had no other choice. 

Heading back to Taehyun’s dorm was too painful, so they made for Soobin and Yeonjun’s apartment.

They tried to fall into some sense of normalcy by playing a round of a computer game and putting on some bad Netflix film, but it was difficult to will away their loss and pretend that they weren’t waiting to lose a little bit more.

So they talked about Taehyun until there were no more stories to share.

They shared their favorite memories of Beomgyu, laughing so hard at some of the anecdotes that by the end of it, Yeonjun’s sides were in stitches.

They took photos for Hueningkai’s Instagram. They gave Yeonjun time to write his ‘will’. 

Hueningkai asked him if he was scared of dying.

Yeonjun lied and said he wasn’t. 

Soobin asked if he was lying.

Yeonjun let his silence speak for him.

At one point, Yeonjun glanced at the clock, did the math, and realized he had survived 22 hours. Was it possible to cheat Death-cast? Yeonjun wondered, foolishly amused. 

He didn’t have the energy to dwell on the thought. He didn’t have any energy at all, really.

He was so drained that he didn’t even remember dozing off while snuggling with Soobin. He jolted only at the sound of Hueningkai’s loud snore.

The couch was cramped, so Yeonjun dragged himself to his bed. Half-awake, he typed out a text to his parents that meant to let them know that he was okay and that he’d call them after he napped. He was too tired to even know if he hit send. The moment his head hit the pillow, he fell right back to sleep. 

He was dreaming of tulips and brown-eyed boys when the cardiac arrest happened.

Choi Yeonjun could not cheat death after all. 

Hueningkai found it nearly impossible to live in the aftermath.

It was made particularly difficult by how much the city reminded him of the past. Like how the dance studio had renamed to YJ Entertainment, honoring their star student by using the script on his final note as their logo. Like how the breakfast cafe never threw out the table with Taehyun's carved initials. Hueningkai once sat at it, only to be dragged under at the sight of KT etched into one corner. 

Soobin was an immense pillar of support. The two remaining boys clung to each other in the first few years, doing everything they could to work around their complex emotions.

Eventually, they realized that the grief would never really go away. All they could do was grow around it. 

Their frequent meetings trickled down to weekly occurrences until they decided to stick to first Fridays— it lasted a few months, but it brought the both of them too much pain. They decided not to force it. They went their separate ways and learned how to live with the mourning.

And they did, really. Hueningkai kept up with Soobin through social media. They never lost touch. They just took some time to heal separately.

It had been a while since they last saw each other. Their last conversation was about how Yeonjun's dance break trended, and how Hueningkai's father was encouraging them to copyright the song. 

The posthumous success that Taehyun joked about, Soobin had said laughingly. Hueningkai found some comfort in the fact that he was not the only one left remembering. 

He never went back to the restaurant they last ate at, though it was hard for him to miss out on the snowball Beomgyu and Yeonjun had unintentionally started.

Unbeknownst to Hueningkai, the two had left a doodle that night; he would only see it spreading on social media a few months later, after the restaurant recognized a tradition that was happening to its patrons. 

"This is pretty cool, isn't it?" 

Hueningkai nodded, staring at the scrawled last words scaling up the restaurant wall. Soobin stood at his side, the two having agreed to meet-up for lunch.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun's little act of vandalism inspired a chain reaction of some sort. Now, those who were called by Death-cast could visit the restaurant for their final meal and, on their way out, leave a small part of themselves behind on the storefront.

"I think Beomgyu would be happy to see this," Hueningkai chuckled. "He'd be excited to be so famous." 

"Yeah, he really would."

The two made their way into the restaurant, making small talk and catching each other up as they waited for the waitress to stop by their booth. When she finally stopped by, Soobin looked up directly at Hueningkai as he spoke.

"I heard the food here is to die for," Soobin said casually. 

Hueningkai stared back, momentarily thrown off. 

And then he smiled— finding peace in the fact that he and Soobin could share one last thing. 

hueningkai's instagram account: @hyukatheloser.