#and it reminded me of one time in uni when i went to the doctors with tonsillitis

[calamitys-child]

In terms of bizarre things people say to or about me my favourite is the recurring insistence that I get throat infections on purpose

[stars-of-kyber]

Kanthony + 38?

38- “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Ok, Anon, you inspired me.

Let's see Anthony and Kate and their completely crazy first date.

PS: I am a teacher. I am most certainly NOT a doctor nor do I claim to be. Most of the medical advice in this story came from @mimix007 who was a queen and helped me with the basic of humans.

Also, I NEED to thank all my girlies who read this but specially @waterlilyrose who embarked on this journey with me when I got the little lightbulb moment and sprinted and cheered me on me as I went through this whole mess today. Thank u <3

Enjoy!

If 24 hours earlier, someone told Kate Sharma she'd be sitting in a hospital room in the early hours of the morning, still in her nice green dress, heels and fancy lacy lingerie, her hair and make-up done, she would have called the person crazy. Maybe laughed to their face. 

And yet, there she was.

She’s been set up on a blind date by Ben, her coworker from the gallery. Apparently, she reminded him so much of his brother and he imagined they’d get along famously. 

Kate did not have the best track record with men, especially posh guys with more money than they knew what to do with, which was Ben’s family’s case, but her friend had shown her a photo and, well… the man was hot. Not just handsome. It was almost unfair how one man could be so sinfully attractive. 

Even if the date didn’t go anywhere, at least they could have a bit of fun. He looked like a guy who knew how to pleasure a woman in bed and Kate most certainly could use a guy like this in her life right now. Plus, Ben wouldn't set her up with someone who was a complete arse, would he? They were friends and he was a nice person, he wouldn't do something like that. 

Or maybe he would. Because Anthony Bridgerton seemed like a huge jerk. 

Anthony, that was Ben's brother's name, showed up to their date late, looking a bit worse to wear. Don't mistake her meaning, he was still one of the hottest men Kate'd ever lay her eyes on, but there were dark bags under his eyes and he looked pale and sweaty as if he was fighting off a nasty hangover. The first few buttons of his dress shirt were undone and his hair sticking up a bit as if he had run his hands through it a few times. She wouldn't judge him if he did though, his hair seemed perfect to run your hands through.

He didn't seem to be drunk. There was no telling alcohol smell and his speech was clear. But he wasn't really alright either. He pushed his food around on his plate without really eating and he barely touched a drop of the wine he had asked for. Hungover for sure. Kate tried interacting with him, asking questions and offering information about herself but Anthony looked distracted, taking a long time to answer her, if he listened to her at all.

By the time Anthony started excusing himself to go to the toilet,  Kate stood up as well. She was ready to tell him she was leaving and that if he hadn't wanted to have a date with her, he could have told her so and she wouldn't have wasted her time and energy trying to look her best. She really would have been less offended if he had just told her to her face he didn't want to meet her than whatever was going on that night. 

But before she could get more than two words out, Anthony's face went ghostly pale, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed against her. They both went down, his skin clammy and feverish under her fingertips, his breaths heavy and raggedy. 

Kate was doing her best to remember the few first-aid lessons she'd taken in uni, but she wasn't sure how good that would be. The first step was always don't panic and she was already failing in that quite spectacularly. 

Perhaps he wasn't just being a rude arse, after all. 

Kate had yelled for someone to get an ambulance, they had patched him up in a gurney and Kate hadn't even thought twice before accepting the paramedic's help to climb in after him. 

Anthony had been rolled straight to surgery as soon as they rolled into the A&E and Kate was shown to a waiting room, a kind nurse telling her someone would give her an update soon. She tried calling Ben, to let him know what was going on, but somewhere during the chaos, her battery had died. She had Anthony's phone in her purse, but he had a password and all Kate managed to do was to block his phone for a full hour trying to guess it. 

It had been a couple of hours of waiting nervously when a doctor told her he had a problem with his appendix, but the surgery had been successful and her boyfriend would be up to a room soon and she could wait for him there. 

Kate only thanked the man and followed the nurse towards the lift without another word. What was she supposed to say? That they were on a sort-of-blind date, meeting for the first time and she had been sure he was a huge jerk until he passed out in her arms? 

No. That wouldn't do at all. Kate was just going to go along with it, wait for him to wake up and managed to call on a family member and when he was properly accompanied, she'd go home. That sounded like a reasonable plan.

And that's how Kate found herself half-dozing off on a not-very-comfortable hospital sofa on the sickbed of her sort-of-date as the first strakes of daylight started to colour the sky. 

That would most certainly be the craziest date Kate had ever been to. She doubted anything could ever come close to that. 

From the bed, Anthony groaned, squirming on the mattress before his eyes slowly started blinking awake. 

"What..." His voice was husky as he looked around, completely confused. "What happened?"

"You fainted…straight into my arms." Kate was up in a flash, reaching for the cup of water the nurse had instructed to give to him slowly. "You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

 He started to chuckle, which quickly turned into a pained whine, as he clutched his stomach. "Oh, ouch." 

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." Kate looked around desperately for something she could do to help, but of course, there was none. Damn her and her smart mouth. "I was trying to lighten up the mood."

"S'alright." Anthony waved her apology away. "Water?"

"Oh, yes! Here." Kate reached the side of the bed, helping him gently plop up enough to be able to sip on the cup. "Just go slow, the nurse said drinking too fast might make you sick.

"Too late for that, I guess." Kate looked up at him desperately, ready to bolt out to the corridor and find a nurse if he was feeling unwell, but instead, Anthony was smiling humorously at her. "Since I fainted and all." 

"That's not funny." She huffed, pushing the hair away from her face. 

"It is a little bit." 

"You had to have surgery!" She stared at him with narrow eyes. "Your appendix was inflamed. Or burst. Or something." 

"Which one was it?" Anthony groaned in pain as he let himself fall back against the soft hospital bed. "I think one of those things is considerably more severe than the other." 

"I don't know. I went to art school, not med school. " She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest defensively. "The doctor didn't tell me much and I was kinda nervous at the time to pay too close attention."

Kate thought he'd call her out on her stupid comment, or say anything about the situation he was in, but instead, he just turned his eyes on her and asked: "Can I have more water please?" 

"Right. Sure." Kate took the plastic cup back to the jar in the corner of the room, clearing her throat nervously. "I"m sorry I didn't call your family, by the way. My battery died and I couldn't unblock your phone."

"Thank God," Anthony whispered with a sigh as she stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Please don't call them." 

"What do you mean?!" She squeaked. "You had surgery!" 

“Do you have any idea how much I'd hear for this?" Anthony looked at her face and then at the cup clutched to her hand. 

"Right, the water, sorry." Kate was back by the side of the bed. "What do you mean how much you'd hear?"

"I have a large family." He gulped the fresh water, sighing appreciatively. "My mother is... She's great but she's been telling me I need to slow down for a while now. If she learns I was sick and didn't get checked out, I wouldn't have a moment alone in the next two months."

"Trust me, I get the feeling. My stepmother is just the same." Mary Sharma was a force to be reckoned with when she wanted to be. She'd probably place Kate under house arrest and she didn't live in her family home anymore. "She'd probably force feed and not allow me out of the bed." 

"I have seven siblings." He chuckled and groaned again at her surprised face. 

"Seven!" 

"Yup." 

"I have one and she drives me insane." 

"My mum could have someone on every hour of the day sitting with me. I'd never be alone again." He told her dramatically. "I'd not put past her grounding me and taking away all my electronics." 

"I understand your suffering." Kate nodded sympathetically. "But I'm not letting you check out without anyone to watch over you. Is there a friend you can call?" 

"This would be Simon." Anthony shifted in bed with a whimper, trying to find a more comfortable position. "But he's gone and got engaged to my oldest baby sister, so I can't really trust him with it." He sighed. "He'd tell on me the moment the phone was off and Daph's almost as bad as my mother."

"Well, that would be less than ideal, I guess."  

"The only person I could trust to keep this quiet is Hyacinth, but somehow I don't see a 10-year-old being much help in this situation." He gave a half-shrug, clearly trying to keep his abdomen from jostling too much. "Well, her and Fran, but she's in Scotland and I won't have her miss classes to come watch over me." 

"Can't you talk to Ben?" Kate rested her elbow on the mattress next to his arm and her chin on her palm as she watched him gingerly reach up to muss his hair. 

"Ben's a tattletale and momma's boy. Mum can break him in less than a minute." 

"What's the least worse option, then?" 

"You really won't let me go on my own, will you?"

"Absolutely not." Anthony seemed to consider that for a moment before sighing defeatedly. 

"I'll end up calling Ben." He sighed dejectedly. "He'll probably be able to hold Mum back the longest. At least he's got a flat I can hide on for a bit."

"Sounds like a plan." They sat in companionable silence for a moment, Anthony's face twitching with discomfort as Kate chewed on her bottom lip, unsure of what to say or if she even should say anything at all. "I'm sorry for the date thing." He told her, the tip of his ears turning pink. "I promise I usually behave much better."

"Well, it is a bit funny... After all the panic passes, anyway." Kate chuckled awkwardly. 

"At least it's a story for the ages." His smile really was quite dashing, she had to admit. 

"That it is."  The silence that settled on them for a moment was a bit more light-hearted than the one before as Kate tried to gather the courage to speak. "Sorry, I really have to ask..." 

"Hum?"

"People say... Well, my sister had an inflamed appendix and that's a really painful thing." Anthony raised his eyebrow at her but did not speak. "And for you to faint, you were probably feeling pretty shity..." She trailed off, unsure of how to continue. "Why didn't... You could have just rescheduled the date, you know?" 

"I mean... yeah, I guess." His shrug was a bit self-conscious. "But I'm kinda used to some pain in my daily life. Like migraines from lack of sleep or gastritis from spending way too much time without eating or whatever stupid thing doctors like to go on about." Kate had to press her hand to her mouth to keep from laughing at the dismissive roll of his eyes. "And... I don't know... I really wanted to meet you. Ben talked a lot about you and, I'm not trying to be disrespectful or crude in any way but you're really beautiful." Kate felt a blush rise to her cheeks, unable to keep the tiny smile from creeping into her lips. "I wouldn't let a bit of normal pain get in the way of that." 

"I'd say you underestimated the levels of what's normal pain a bit there, didn't you?"

"I'll admit I didn't imagine it would get so much worse so fast." He admitted with a grim nod before his eyes softened as he turned them to her face, making heat pool even hotter in her cheeks. "Please tell me I didn't ruin things and I'll get another chance?"

"Well, that depends." Kate grinned, her eyes alight with mirth. "Will you faint on me again?" 

"Nop, never again." He shook his head, wincing as the movement sent a flare of pain up his side. 

"I suppose we can work something out then." His smile was so bright Kate desperately wished to feel it against her mouth. To feel if those lips were as soft and plump as they looked. And so, to hell with it, she did. 

Kate blamed the lack of sleep and the adrenaline and nerves from the night before for her poor impulse control. She leaned forwards, careful not to jostle the mattress too much and risk hurting him, and she pressed their lips together in the gentlest of kisses, just a brush followed by a little pressure before she pulled away. Anthony tried to chase her mouth, leaning forwards before grunting in pain. 

"Down boy." She laughed, something stirring at the pit of her stomach by the way his eyes darkened. 

"Come back here." His words were half a command, half a desperate plea. "Please." 

"You just had surgery." She reminded him with a gentle pat on his hand as she settled back on the seat, trying to ignore the spark of electricity that went through her arm at the touch. 

"One more." He pleaded, lacing their fingers together. "To help me heal faster." 

"Na-hum. You'll have to wait." She tutted at him. "I'm not having a doctor call me out for opening your stitches or something.”  

Anthony let his body rest in the bed, sighing in defeat, but he did not let go of her hand. Outside the window, the sun was slowly starting to show its bright face, making the sky turn a hundred different hues of blues, oranges and pinks. 

"Will you at least tell me how much the dinner was so I can refund you?" He asked and Kate froze in the spot, her eyes growing triple the size of her face. 

"Oh God..." She choked between a laugh and a desperate sob. Anthony's head snapped to look at her.  

"What?!" 

"You fainted and the ambulance came and they were taking you to the restaurant and I..." She covered her mouth with her hand, her face flooding with colour. "I didn't pay the bill." 

They stared at each other for a few silent moments before they burst out in laughter, Anthony clutching his side with a grimace. 

"Oh God, I can't believe I dined and dashed." Kate wanted to shove her head under a pillow, her face flooding with colour and her chest heaving from giggles she couldn't quite control. 

"Please stop making me laugh," Anthony begged, although it didn't seem he was having any success in stopping it either. "I just had surgery and laughing hurts."

"Hell! Sorry, oh my..." She snorted, burying her face in her palms, trying to control her breathing. "That's so embarrassing, oh lord..." 

And although it had been most certainly the weirdest date Kate had ever been to, she was quite certain it was one of the best ones, in the end. Well, after the panic passed, of course. 

Ben arrived a little more than two hours later and the moment he crossed through the room's large door, Kate was sure Anthony had made a mistake calling his brother and not his best friend because Ben looked livid. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The tallest man cried in a harsh tone, sending the two other people in the room, who had been talking since Anthony had woken up jumping in surprise. "Hey, Kate." He looked at her, his entire posture shifting for a moment. "Thanks for sitting with him." 

"S'all good, mate." She replied, blinking at the sudden change, and then Benedict's attention was back on his older brother, the sweet, funny man absolutely fuming. 

"I cannot believe you, Anthony Bridgerton! I don't even...." The painter breathed in deeply, making a visible attempt to calm down. "You had surgery...."

"Emergency surgery." Anthony corrected, which did not help at all in his brother's attempt at remaining calm. 

"You had SURGERY to remove your goddamn appendix and you didn't..." 

"It was my fault, Ben. My phone was down and..." Her friend stopped her words with a raised finger. 

"You did nothing wrong Kate, I'm actually really grateful for you sitting with him all night." His narrowed eyes didn't leave his brother's face. "You, on the other hand..."

"I am sick," Anthony warned. 

"How long have you been sick, you stubborn idiot?!" The youngest of the brothers roared. "That's why you looked like shit in Greg's competition last night!"

"I..." 

"And on Hyacinth's match!"  He looked accusingly at Anthony, who had the decency to look ashamed. "How much did you eat in the past two days?" 

"I don’t really see how..." The words were so low and jumbled Kate couldn't understand any of them. 

"Anthony!"

"Alright, you're annoying, Christ!" The eldest sibling finally spoke up. "I didn't eat anything, alright? I was feeling nauseous, couldn't keep anything down anyway." 

"You were drinking black coffee!" Benedict threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Why didn't you go to the goddamn doctor?! Are you trying to die?"

"You're being dramatic." 

"I'm so mad at you right now, I could punch you." 

"I didn't go to the doctor because I had a lot of shit to do, Benedict," Anthony spoke slowly. Apparently, his patience had run out. "I had a pile of documents waiting for me at work. There was Hy's game and Greg's swimming and Daphne's wedding planning. I sometimes have a stomachache, because according to that doctor you forced me to go, I have gastritis."

"You have gastritis because you spend days without any proper food, running on coffee and self-sacrifice, you pompous arse!" Ben retorted with a huff. "Hy and Greg would have understood if you missed ONE game or swimming competition. Daphne's wedding is more planned and organized than my life has been in the past, I don't know, ten years! And you haven't had a day off in three years, Anthony. The last time you did was because Hyacinth got a broken arm when she was seven." Ben clapped his hands in front of his face as if praying for something, although Kate wasn't exactly sure what. 

She couldn't judge Anthony too much. She worked two jobs and used to work three until she had a burnout crisis the year previous and Mary forced her to quit one, kept track of Edwina's grades, helped Mary with the house and the bills and still walked Newton every day. Her sleep schedule was erratic at best and she ate only because her stepmother called her periodically at meal times. 

Maybe Ben did have a point when he said she reminded him of his older brother. 

"I don't know why you're so mad at me." Anthony insisted. 

"You don't... You know what Ant, I'll tell you." The tallest brother lowered his hand with a strange fire in his eyes. "I'm mad because you think you are indestructible and you don't give a shit about your own health although you can spend literal hours lecturing us about ours. I'm mad because it didn't occur to you, at any point in the past week, to turn to me and say 'Ben, I'm feeling overwhelmed.' and..."

"I wasn't overwhelmed," Anthony scoffed in annoyance. "I had appendicitis." 

"It didn't occur to you, at any point, to turn to me, or to Simon, or to Daphne, or to anyone, to say 'I'm having a very strong pain in my abdomen and I can’t keep food down' and any of us would have gladly stepped up to help you with all the shit you needed to get done while you went to a goddamn doctor instead of having to get an emergency surgery in the middle of your date!" 

"Alright Benedict," Anthony mumbled with a mocking roll of his eyes. "next time I sneeze, I'll let..." 

Kate understood the reluctant feeling in Anthony's tone. It was hard to ask for help, especially when you had people depending on you for a long time. How did you turn to someone that came to you for absolutely everything for years and years and said 'I have too much on my shoulders, I need help.' without feeling like an absolute failure? And at the same time, without making them feel like failures because you never told them you were overwhelmed. 

Kate was also very, very bad at asking for help. 

"You know what, Anthony? I'm not going to try to reason with you. There is no point, you won't listen." Benedict sighed deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose wearily. "I'm taking you to Mum's." 

"You're absolutely not." Anthony scoffed, trying to cross his arms stubbornly in front of his chest, but failing miserably when his entire face convulsed in pain. 

"I can't see how your sorry arse is going to stop me." Ben looked triumphantly at this older brother. "You are going to mum's and you are staying there until you are 100% recovered from your surgery and maybe  an extra week to be safe and you are going to eat three proper meals a day and work regular hours if mum allows you to work." 

"You're going to have to kill me," Anthony told his brother completely determined. 

"I am considering it." 

"I'm not going." 

"Oh, you are." Ben nodded his head and his grin was absolutely diabolical. If Edwina was looking at Kate like this, she'd probably have run for cover and it was clear in Anthony's face he would agree. "Please ask me how." 

"I'm not giving you the pleasure." Benedict just waved his grumpy brother's words away completely at ease. 

"It's not a problem, I'm telling you anyway." He rubbed his hands together and in Anthony's eyes, Kate could see he was considering just jumping out of the window not to suffer whatever fate his brother had planned for him. "Because I’ve already called mum," Ben lifted a finger, as if counting. "and Daph," One more finger up. "and I called your work and told them you're taking the next week as sick leave and are not to be disturbed." A third finger was lifted but he was clearly not done. "I have also already bribed Eloise with something she wants quite a whole lot so I think you'll be hard-pressed to get her to cooperate with you." With each finger that went up, Anthony's eyes went wider. "And to finish it off, I've spoken to Hyacinth and Greg." Benedict looked triumphant with his entire palm open in front of him. 

"What did you say to them?!" 

"I might or might not have implied that you are really sick and that if you don't rest, you might have a big health problem that will be a risk to your life." The taller man seemed to be feeling pleased to see Anthony so shocked in a way only a younger sibling could. "They're really scared, you know?" 

"So, you lied!" Anthony accused.

"No, I didn't, you lout! If you don't fucking rest you're going to rip a stitch and bleed inside out or something!" Benedict stormed. He had also been to Art school and was certainly not a doctor. "And honestly the worst they'll do is spend a shitton of time around you and you'd never complain about that." Anthony did not seem to have an answer for that. "What you really should be worried about is Daphne. She was talking about taking a few days from work to look after you." 

Honestly, if Anthony made an attempt to jump out of the window, Kate would probably help.

Anthony had been released from the hospital and into Benedict's clutches in the afternoon, with a list of medicine and doctors' orders to follow and several overprotective siblings to look after him at home. Kate did not envy him at all. 

She had awkwardly stood there as Anthony signed a pile of forms under his younger brother's watchful eye and asked them if anyone could call her an Uber, since her phone was dead, which immediately prompted Ben to offer to just drop her home. And that was how she found herself sitting in the back of a car with Anthony Bridgerton as his brother drove. 

He was sitting half-bent in what looked like an uncomfortable position, his mop of brown hair falling to his forehead, dark circles under his eyes. Kate just felt the desperate need to curl around him, have his arms around her, holding her tight. He had quite spectacular arms, really. 

She managed to fight back that one impulse, too afraid to hurt him if she tried. It didn't keep her from reaching out to his hand, lacing their fingers together. Anthony looked from her face to their joint hands back to her face, a tired but bright smile blooming on his lips. 

From the rear-view mirror, Kate could see Benedict's smirk, but she ignored it. She'd let him groat, at least for a little bit. He deserved it. 

The car pulled at the curb in front of her small block of flats and before she could think twice about it, Kate leaned forwards, kissing Anthony with another of those ridiculously soft kisses, their lips brushing together gently for a moment before she pulled away. 

"I thought you said I'd have to wait?" He asked, a satisfied smile gracing his lips as he looked at her. 

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you'll need something to help you keep sane in the next week." Kate giggled as he groaned. "And something for you to think of, you know? Until our next date. Once you're better." 

"I can't wait." 

And really neither could she.

Anthony was a model patient. An annoying one, the biggest pain in his siblings arse he could manage to be, but a good patient none the less. He took his meds, ate his food and rested. He complained and bitched and moaned every second of it, but he was doing it. He and Kate texted everyday and seeing a message from him light up her phone make a silly smile take over her face like a stupid teen with a crush. 

And finally, three weeks after their disastrous first day, Anthony got the all clear from the doctor and he was waiting for her at the door of a fancy restaurant, looking exactly like that hot, hot man Ben had shown her in a photo that had convinced her to accept the date. 

"You're not going to faint on me, are you, Mr Bridgerton?" Kate asked, with mirth on her smile as she approached him, enjoying the way his eyes raked darkly over her purple dress. 

"Not a chance, Miss Sharma." He barely got the words out before pulling her into his chest and finally, finally, kissing her properly. 

It was a kiss worth waiting for.

And a year and a half later, Anthony's eyes were still raking over her, this time with tears pooling on them as her mother walked her down the isle, the flowy white dress contrasting quite beautifully with her raven dark hair and the henna tattoos on her skin. 

"You're not gonna faint on me now, are you, Mr Bridgerton?" Kate asked for the thousenth time, smiling up at him as she let go of Mary's hand and took his. The smile he offered back was as bright as the sun. 

"Not a change, Mrs Bridgerton." 

Truly, that first date had been one of the best things in her life, after all. 

[jayde-jots]

Uni has been kicking my ass, so after kicking it right back a decided to destress with some headcanons and brotherly fluff!

Context- I adore reading fanfics about engines turning human, and I sort of have my own head cannons about the trope.

I think if an engine were to turn human, their human bodies would reflect their physical health before the transformation. Like Scotsman for example, his irl engine self is not in good health at the best of times, and if we're to believe that TTTE universe Scotsman also went to America I don't believe for a second that the guy wouldn't have some PTSD. So mentally and physically he'd not be doing so hot as a human. Then take Gordon, big G has been potentially pulling the express for over 100 years by this point, and still going strong. The fat controllers we know take care of their engines, so more than positively Gordon has been kept in pristine health his whole life. If Gordon were to turn human, I don't doubt he'd be a strapping human with an 8 pack. But then it turns to personal experience.

In the story of this image I've hinted that Gordon has been human for much longer than Scotsman has, and while Gordon did pop out of his engine to human transformation being absolutely ripped in the beginning, I like to think that once the engines discover more of what humanity has to offer they'd indulge more of their personal interests. James for example I imagine would like to model and maybe do drag, or hell, maybe even design clothing! Henry I think would adore gardening and maybe animals, I imagine him volunteering at an animal shelter or the one putting in the most work at a community garden. I think Edward would find pride in his community, he'd adore things that you'd find at the Earl of Sodor's castle, he'd adore history, and the slower crafts of humans like painting and join Henry in some gardening, maybe some cooking to. Thomas I think would find his competitive nature, finding the joy in sports, liking to race people on a track, seeing how far he can hit a baseball, dancing around players in basketball, or just simply working out and liking the burn. And Gordon I imagine finds his interests with food, enjoying the sensation of taste, and also more of what the mainland would have to offer, I think he'd do a little exploring and also find the fun in traveling with other modes of transport. Which leads me to the brotherly fluff! I think that after a while some mainland engines who visit Sodor often would eventually feel the effects of the engine to human transformation. Scotsman would have seen Gordon as a human many times by now, and the two would sit and chat at Vicarstown before Scotsman would have to go back on his return journey. This is over the span of many months and each week Scott sees Gordon he notices his brother gaining a little more in the human part of him that reminds him of a boiler. At first it concerns him, until he's told that's how humans gain weight, and how they become fat. Once that happens he begins to poke fun at Gordon, calling him "big brother" in a new mocking way. Gordon becomes more hurt at that because to him it's far more personal than Scotsman knows, so afterwards he distances himself from his brother for a few weeks that span months until Sir Topham tells Gordon that Scotsman is in hospital after turning human, which leads to now. Gordon catches the next train out closest to the hospital and is very surprised to find Scott looking the polar opposite to him. He's so thin he appears anorexic, and even if Gordon had been in his first body type he would have still towered over Scott if the pair stood up side by side. The doctor had been informing Scotsman and the museum director of what his diagnosis was when Gordon burst into the room! Scott was very happy to see Gordon, bursting into tears and crying into his shoulder when Gordon scooped him up and hugged him close. Scott had ended up being diagnosed with Crohn's disease, type 1 diabetes, along with many more mental health conditions. PTSD, depression, and anxiety, but the most prominent being extreme separation anxiety. Once Gordon showed up it was all or nothing, Scotsman wouldn't leave his arms and refused to even go back to the museum, even not wanting to go back into the hospital bed or a wheelchair unless Gordon was right next to him or the one pushing the chair. The doctor suggested that Scotsman go with Gordon so he could receive treatment without possibly going into a panic attack, Gordon was okay with this as he and the others had managed to secure jobs and cash pooled their money together to afford a house. So that leads to the picture of Gordon and Scott talking as they probably walk out of the hospital together. Enjoy!

[iwillbegoodatmath]

updateee

so i went to that firts class! it was fucking hard, and i felt kind of miserable, but i did it and it was 100% worth it. my classmates seem nice, though i am kind of worried about this one dude who might be flirting with me? i'm not sure, i might wear a rainbow bracelet next class so he gets the hint lol

i also went to the 2nd class, i was late bc i couldn't finish the first assignment, so i took some extra time to polish it a bit (though i still couldn't finish it) but it's fine, things worked out

i am soo behind on math and computer org, so that's what i focused on today, hopefully i can do half the exercises from the 2nd math practice and finish it tomorrow, then i just have to catch up with 3 more worksheets ☠️ fuckkk

the 1st exam is on may 5th, so i have until then to catch up, wish me luck

as for comp org, idk if I'll be able to pass the subject, I don't think i have the time it would take me to catch up before the 1st exam (which reminds me, i have to check when that is). so yeah, sucks ass ngl but it's also the least important subject for me this semester, so

tomorrow i have my first therapy session with a new therapist, which is extremely frightening and if i'm being honest i do want to cancel the session rn, but i know i need the therapy :/ so i'll go, idk what to tell her though. where do i start? do i go for the depression or the possible adhd? is it even worth it to mention adhd, will she believe me when i tell her my symptoms or dismiss me bc i'm an adult? i think I'll go with the depression bc i don't think she'll dismiss it, then if i keep seeing her i'll tell her about the adhd

and if she doesn't take me seriously, then i'll just exaggerate the symptoms, which i know is bad but honestly (and sadly) if you want doctors to listen to you, sometimes you have to lie to really highlight whatever you're struggling with. with my previous therapist i made the mistake of minimizing my issues, it won't happen again

i also have to buy a bunch of materials for uni tomorrow, fun fact: i dont have a single cent on me right now. so I'll have to figure that out as well :)))))

i know no one will read this but i don't care, i don't write it for others, i write it for me

[marthajonesuk]

Monday, May 07, 2007

Home again

Okay, I was wrong. Sort of, anyway...

He brought me home. After everything we've been through, he brought me home. Which is fair enough, I guess. It's up to him who he travels with but, yeah, to say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

But then, as always with him, things got in the way... I'm guessing you saw the Lazarus Laboratory thing on the news. And I'm guessing that by now, you've worked out that the Doctor was involved. Thing is, this time so were my family.

I remember when I first went away to Uni. Came back for Christmas (that time of peace and goodwill – haha!) and it was so odd how they'd changed. We'd all grown up together and been through everything together but, after just a couple of months, it was obvious that things had changed. The cracks had started to show in mum and dad's marriage (and even though he eventually had the affair, mum realised their whole relationship was going wrong way before Annalise actually arrived on the scene. She's pretty sharp, my old ma!) Tish and Leo had both changed as well. Tish had moved into some tiny little bedsit and Leo had started seeing Shonara. And it had all happened while I was away. Which I guess is normal for families.

This time it was different. For them, it was the day after Leo's birthday thing but for me? Well, you know what I've been through. You know what I've seen and done since then. So, yeah, it was like I'd changed but they hadn't. I have changed, I realise that. I'm seeing things differently. And for them, I'd not even been away so none of them would understand just how big it all is. And I can't tell them because they'd think I was mad. Blimey, time travel messes with your mind.

Actually, I say they haven't changed but Leo told me that he was going to vote in the election. Leo?! Voting?!?! The world has officially gone mad.

One thing that so hadn't changed was that even though it was Tish's night, mum was still focussed on me. Tish is a year older than me but I've always been the responsible one (or the boring one as someone with a death wish might say). She never went to Uni or anything so I've always been treated as the oldest. Mum's always said that Tish should be more like me which isn't the best thing a mum can do but she doesn't mean anything bad by it. I think Tish used to resent me for it but, right now, we get on great. It's like we have this competition - I'm always trying to get her to grow up and she's always trying to get me to chill. And I've just realised, it's like we're swapping lives! I'm the one on the big holiday and she's the one in the business suit. Oh and that's mental as well. She's somehow got herself this big important job but she's such a mess. Honestly, you should see the state of her flat!! Mine, of course, is spotless.

And seeing them all, it was difficult in a way because it reminded me of what I'm leaving behind when I go off with the Doctor. I know they'll be there for me when I get back but I just hope neither me or them change too much. When I go off with the Doctor? Oh yeah, despite what I said at the beginning, I'm off again! But this time, it's totally on my terms.

You see, at the end of it all, the Doctor said I could go on one more trip but I said no. I don't care that he's the most amazing bloke I've ever met, I'm not going to be some kind of hitcher. I'm not going to be his assistant. So, I told him this. And he said I was never really that anyway.

So we're off together – as equals? Well, 60/40. Oh all right, 35/75. But it's definitely a more…permanent arrangement this time. And where now? Somewhere new. Somewhere brilliant, probably. Somewhere mad, definitely. And, hopefully, somewhere nice and sunny!

[redahlia-writes]

just to update you guys on the day i have had because let me tell you, it was a day:

- i haven’t been going to uni these days because of medical problems, still woke up at 5am because i forgot to deactivate the alarm. couldn’t have coffee nor breakfast because i had to get blood work done

- when i did exit my house to go to the clinic, a kitten ran up to me. she’s the spitting image of my cat that passed away last year so i had a cry while trying to understand what to do with her

- no one in the neighbourhood even replied when we rang the bell (admittedly, it was 7:30am, so maybe it’s comprehensible), so i went back home to get the carrier for the cat which still had some of my old cat’s fur in since i just shoved it away after she died and couldn’t look at it again (so i cried again)

- got to the clinic, spent an insane amount of money on the analysis, almost passed out and got a bruise that makes my whole arm aching

- went back home with the kitten because i had another visit at 10:30 and we couldn’t bring her. found out kitten has fleas. we have four other cats (she was gonna be isolated anyway because we don’t know if she has viruses just yet and we can’t risk it)

- went to my second visit and found out that my back is fucked. collapsed on one side. which is why my hip has been hurting for two years. i have to wear a back brace, take a shit ton of meds, have to do postural training. mind you, i had been to two doctors before this who had told me there was nothing wrong with me and to just take some painkillers

- went back home, got the kitten to the vet, cried again because the way she cuddled reminded me of my old cat (like full on sobbed for 10 minutes or so); kitten was given medication for her ears and the fleas and we’ll have to go back for some more tests

- went back home with the kitten (which we are clearly going to keep even though we already have 4 and most likely cannot afford a 5th) and had to clean the floor multiple times because of the fleas so now my back hurts terribly, not to mention my hip, and my hands are fully dry for the amount of times i washed them

i will probably end up skipping more days of uni because kitten has to stay isolated for a week at least so. Fun !

[abyssal-ali]

Yet Forgives the Butcher's Knife

This fills the second day's prompt: College (albeit quite briefly, but this was written before I planned to enter this event, so go me for having such foresight that AYFTBK needed barely any tweaking at all!)

Disclaimer: This follows Canon events up to a point, but since DC has the inability to stick to one timeline or version of events without retconning it, I'm taking liberties with some plot points. (Canon-complicit to a point)

Rating: T TW: none? Violence lite, perhaps

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Stephanie thanked Leslie for all her care and told the doctor she was leaving to start her second life afresh. She promised to keep in touch and zipped up her duffle.

Steph and Jason flew to Oxford, England, where Jason attended uni for Lit and medical classes and Steph trained to become LoA material. The apartment Jason had asked Talia to obtain had the usual suit, weapons, training area, booby traps, etc, plus a special surprise. Steph dumped her purple duffle on the coffee table and dodged a strike, rolling to her feet and pulling escrima on her assailant. Jason rolled his eyes and greeted her casually. “Hey, T.”

Steph looked at the choreographed fight-dance of Jason and whom she now realized was his mom, admiring their fluid, well-practiced moves that she aspired to. Jason finally pinned Talia and helped her up.

“Why're you here, T?”

“I came to see my son and daughter-in-law, of course, and to make sure you haven't slacked off just because you're in love.”

Jason and Steph coughed and blushed heavily, having not said those words yet.

Talia smirked and nodded at Jason. “I approve. She is not up to recruits' level 3 yet, but she shows promise. Good job avoiding my opening blow, Stephanie. Your observational skills and instincts are quite honed.”

“Oh, thank you? J's been running me pretty hard, but I've been improving, so I'm glad it's not just in my head,” she laughed awkwardly.

“I am here to train you while Jason is in class,” announced Talia. “I will be here for two weeks. When I return to Nanda Parbat, you are welcome to come with me.”

~♡~

Steph didn't return with Talia, but she and Jason did visit the fortress a couple times. Jason got Slade Wilson to train her for a while, and the mercenary liked her because she reminded him of his daughter Rose. A few of his other friends/trainees agreed to help her as well, and she was able to take Jason down at least 50% of the time by Jason's graduation 2 years later. As well as the physical training, Jason refined Steph's already quite-honed stealth skills, plus hacking, stalking, mental boundaries and a couple languages. She could now speak English, French, Swahili, Mandarin, and Russian. For fun, he taught her a couple motorcycle stunts and weapons tricks to intimidate low-level opponents. She got upgraded Official Robin Training she'd missed.

Over the two years, the couple had planned their steps once leaving Oxford well. They headed to Hong Kong to collect the gear Talia had provided and finalize the details.

Red Hood made an appearance in Gotham 18 months ago, sniping the Joker and ensuring he was cremated. It was quick, quiet, and clean, so there should be no trace of him, but if there was, only his shiny red helmet would be visible. No other traces were left.

In Hong Kong, Jason and Stephanie headed to the safehouse/penthouse Talia had secured. Steph went out to get groceries while Jason checked over everything, especially the new suits for Red Hood and Indigo. The design was modified from the League's uniforms enough that it wouldn't tip off the Bats but still kept its functionality.

Steph got the fresh food and headed home when she heard fighting coming from an alley. She hid the groceries under a piece of wood and hurried to help. A young Chinese-American girl about her and Jay's age was fluidly fighting off eight gang members. Steph paused a moment to appreciate the girl's style (Steph was now a top ninja, but this girl's moves were something else) which reminded her of Lady Shiva's, before rushing two goons and knocking them out cold. Once all were unconscious Steph wiped her hands on her jeans and turned to the girl.

“Neihhou, I'm Steph. Nice moves...why were you fighting them?” she said in slow Cantonese, unsure which languages the girl spoke.

“Neihhou...m goi," she answered even slower, bowing slightly, but Steph was pretty sure it was from politeness, not an injury.

The girl began making signs slowly, explaining that the goons were traffickers who'd made the horrible decision to attempt to kidnap her. Steph grabbed the girl's hand and dragged her to Jason, stopping to collect the groceries on the way.

Jason looked up and did a double-take when he saw Steph wasn't alone. “Steph...”

“She fights similarly to Shiva and I thought she was almost kidnapped so I jumped in and took her home. She prefers sign or body language, I think,” Steph announced.

Jason looked the girl up and down. “Do you know Lady Shiva?”

The girl looked between Jason and Steph. “Mom.”

Jason and Steph exchanged glances. “Lady Shiva is your mother? Who's your father, then?”

“David Cain.”

“Are you an assassin?” Jason signed as he spoke, hoping she knew ASL.

She shook her head emphatically. “No. I don't want...hurt people...Innocents...David made...me kill...once...I ran... Five years.”

“Do you have a name?” asked Steph.

“One Who Is All,” replied the girl. “No name. Title. Bodyguard.”

“You need a name!” said Jason immediately. “You read body language, right? I heard stories about you. You predict moves like Sandra?”

The girl nodded slowly.

“So you're a prophetess...Cassandra? Cassandra was a Greek prophetess cursed to have nobody believe her. What do you think?”

(Nerd, thought Steph lovingly. But my nerd.)

“Cass,” said the girl definitively.

“Cass it is!” said Steph.

“Oh, this is Jason, my husband, and I'm Steph.”

Cass decided to stay with them and Talia quickly had a suit in her size prepared.

~♡~

The suit was hand-delivered by a grumpy baby assassin, Jason's little brother Damian. He was 10 and far too old to need babysitters, but Talia had deemed the League too unsafe for him now and knew 3 of the world's top fighters would protect him better than she at present. She had considered sending him to Bruce, but even a Wayne was too much too much attention, and Damian popping out of the woodwork would cause too much scrutiny, so his brother and sister-in-law it was! He brought his suit along with him, plus a suitcase full of weapons.

~♡~

Steph and Jason finally arrived in Gotham, with double the passengers and load they'd expected. Luckily, all were ninja and so packed lightly—the majority of the luggage was weapons and ninja gear, anways. The base of the quartet's operations was in the Narrows area, underneath a building owned by Stephanie (under a pseudonym, of course). The sub-level BOOP had 3 layers:

1) garage, vigilante stuff, tech centre, etc.

2) training area/gym/mini-hospital and lab

3) living quarters.

Stephanie and Jason were absolutely not going to allow Damian to join them on the streets, but compromised by letting him run the comms, since he was quite good with tech—he could probably give Babs a run for her money, Jason decided. He and Steph took turns teaching Damian (and Cass, since she sat in) since he couldn't attend normal school, at least not in his fresh-from-a-murder-cult state. The subjects were higher-level and more varied than public schools' as well. Everyone also learned ASL so Cass could communicate with them more comfortably.

Once the 4 were settled in Gotham, Jason began his plan.

Stephanie had decide that she couldn't kill, (unless maybe in self-defense, but she had enough training that she shouldn't be in that position, anyways), but she sure didn't say no to Jason taking Black Mask out for her.

Cass had sworn to never kill again and frowned when Jason and Steph told her their plan, but once Jason's PowerPoint was over and she saw how victims—including Steph—relaxed when their [family's] murderer, kidnapper, rapist, etc was gone for good, she saw their point of view snd accepted their stance.

With Sionis out of the way, Red Hood stepped in and took over Gotham's underworld. One duffle bag left quite a first impression and there wasn't too much rebellion after that. Most people preferred Red Hood to Black Mask—he actually protected people, so crime was at an all-time low, especially violent crime; kids weren't allowed to buy/ run drugs or work for any criminals, so fewer kids died in gang disputes; Hood took care of the street kids and working women, making them the safest they'd ever been; he controlled all of Gotham's drugs, so there were fewer gang/turf wars, “cut” drugs, bad deals, etc. And the final straw: Hood cared. He was one of them—there was no mistaking his (played-up) Park Row accent. His lieutenants Indigo and Orphan were intimidating but Indy had a Narrows accent too and Orphan was very protective of hurt children and innocents. Almost everyone in Gotham was beyond satisfied with their new prince.

~♡~

Jason and Steph suited up for the night, Cass staying behind for a night off. The base layer of all their uniforms was plain black cotton long-sleeved T-shirts, leggings, and socks. Next came the Kevlar-weave tunics, high-necked and dropping to their thighs. Black bindings wrapped around their wrists and forearms and calves-down, past their heavy-duty steel-toed boots. Red Hood wore dark grey cargo pants, while Indigo's and Orphan's were black. Indigo and RH both wore kevlar-weave hoods with red/purple lining, red/purple-tinted goggles, and a red/purple mask from nose to chin for filtering air and adding another layer of ID security, as voice modulators and rebreathers were built in. The goggles were connected to Ghoul's computers and could call up maps, files, etc., while the comms were built into the goggles and masks. RH, I, and O all had utility belts with grapples; smoke bombs/pellets; shuriken, etc; snacks; paper & pen, etc. Red Hood had the most guns, but Indy and Orphan also carried a pistol and rubber bullets. (Think this design [+sleeves] for Jason and a similar one in purple for Steph.)

As well as his Jericho .941's, Hood carried a variety of knives, small missiles, and a strap for his dual swords, but he didn't wear them unless he was trying to make an impression.

Indigo carried knives and small missiles, plus escrima on her back and a bō on her belt.

Orphan preferred intimidation (and went out the least, or stayed on Hood and Indy's six) and if she did fight, favoured hand-to-hand, but she carried a knife and a bō just in case, plus the pistol. Orphan didn't like Hood and Indy's hoods as they restricted her vision, which was her primary sense considering her specialty (Hood and Indy were good enough the handicap didn't affect them). She had a full-face kevlar-weave covering (with breathing spaces, duh) and a haphazardly-stitched mouth. (Cass's outfit)

Unsurprisingly, she didn't get to fight many criminals—most fainted. Ghoul did have a suit for if he was needed in an emergency -a mini-version of the others'- but in deep green. Crime Alley was slowly losing its nickname.

~♡~

If anyone wants to join the tag list, contact me!

Taglist: @jaystephevents @demonandangeltwins

[musingsofmyown]

Missing Case #010

    18 years ago…

  “Sherlock Holmes,”He shook the Detective Inspector’s hand,”Pleasure to meet you Lestrade.”

  “Likewise,” Greg turned and gestured for the ametur to follow him,”I saw how fast you figured out that last scene, let’s see if you can do it again.”

  Lestrade stood back and watched as the young man examined the body in front of them, Anderson was next to him,”You sure that this kid is a good idea?”

  “We’ll see,”to his surprise Sherlock stood up and closed the small compact magnifying glass,”What do ya got?”

  “I’ll spare the details that your forensics group would have already gotten,”He motioned to a spot on the body and started to rattle off a lot of facts that nobody had even begun to think of. His thoughts were detailed and precise, every fact leading into another and then some. Intricate pieces of information that literally nobody would think are important, but Sherlock made it sound like the most crucial part of the investigation,”Therefore the killer was the next door neighbour, might want to bring them in for questioning.”

  “Wait wait,”Greg had a baffled look on his face,”You got all that from a body?”

  “Yes, it’s not all that hard if you know what to look for.”

  “My team has never gone into that much detail, what’s your education Holmes?”

  “Doctorates in Chemistry, other than that, self-taught,”A small grin played on his lips.

  Anderson walked off and Greg stepped closer to Sherlock,”Listen, if you want to ‘help’ out on cases, you’ll have to get yourself clean.”

  “I have no-”

  “I know an addict when I see one Sherlock, I know how hard it is to stop, but you need to if you want to work with me.”

  “Right.”

.

  Four-and-a-half years later…

.

  “Hey there Sherlock, you doing okay? I saw you almost fall over at the scene there,”Gereg came up to him.

  “It’s nothing…” there was a tone of sadness in his voice,”the erm, victim, was a friend of mine back in Uny. I saw him a week ago with his kids and wife.”

  “Oh, Sherlock, I’m sorry to hear about that,”He knew what it was like to find a person you knew laying on the ground surrounded by yellow markers,”Were you close?”

  Holmes shook his head, and then looked at Lestrade with a curious expression,”Your wife is due soon, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah…”Greg took a step back, knowing good and bloody damn well that the last time he deduced something like that, the young man’s partner was giving birth as they spoke.

  Sherlock smiled,”Girl or boy?”

  “A little girl,”Greg was a bit relieved he didn’t say anything else.

  “That’s nice, I’ve always heard that girl’s are easier to manage in their younger years than boys. Then again, I was always a pain, still am,”he said matter of factly,”Also, your wife is about to call.”

  “What?” Just a moment later his phone rang and he answered,”Hello? Ya, ya, oh. Oh! I’ll be there in just a second! Yeah!”

  “You okay there boss?” Donovan asked, seeing that he practically jumped out of his skin.

  “Jen is going into labour!” He started for his cruiser and saw Sherlock standing where he left him,”Get in Sherlock.”

  “What?” the rookie walked over and gave him a questioning look.

  “Just get in!” He got on the passenger’s side and they went off with the lights and siren going,”I want you to be there.”

  “Why me?”

  “Because…”

  “I know it isn’t because I’m your frien-”

  “Sherlock?”

  “Yes?”

  “You are my friend, okay? I know you’re not one for ‘sentiment’ but you are in fact my friend. I am bringing you because you remind me of someone I wish my daughter could meet.”

  “Who would that be?”

  He drew a breath in,”My brother, Thomas. He died of a drug overdose a few years ago. Bright man, graduated from Uny with a PhD in Forensic Sciences.”

  “Oh,”Sherlock furrowed his brow,”Well, I’m sure he’d be proud of you, making a family of your own.”

  Greg nodded as they pulled into the Hospital parking lot,”Alright, stay here until I call you up.”

  “O-okay.”

  After about an hour-and-a-half of waiting, Sherlock got a text ‘We’re on the second floor room 211.’ He went in the elevator, and then came out of it facing room 205. After a moment of very brisk walking he reached 211 and lightly knocked on the door. Lestrade opened it,”Jen, this is Sherlock.”

  “You’re the darling detective Greg talks about all the time, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you Mr. Holmes.”

  “It’s Sherlock, please,”He sat in one of the chairs that sat in the room.

  “Meet Sterling,”Lestrade picked the baby out of the bassinet that sat next to the bed,”Sterling Opal Lestrade.”

  “She’s beautiful,”Sherlock smiled. His eyes widened when Greg sat the small child in his arms, but quickly relaxed when she looked up at him,”Where’d you get the names from?”

  “The first name is from Greg’s brother, Thomas Sterling Lestrade, and the middle name is from my mother Opal Leeway,”She beamed.

  “Hello Sterling.”

End Case-

[insert link]

^^Previous Case!!^^

(let me know if you want to be added or taken off!!!)

@atomiccollectorcreation-blog @train-mossman @tjlcarchives @neverquiteeden @rhasima @bisexual-confusion @whatnext2020 @helloliriels @totallysilvergirl @jobooksncoffee @safedistancefrombeingsmart @iwannahavefrecklessodamnbad @7-percent @timberva @everyonebeatmetothegoodnames @erinswriting @myfirstisthefourth @salmonsown

[maria-akira]

how you meet the ahs boys + their reaction while you're having a class - PART 1

—♡—

hey yall im back again 🧍🏻‍♀️ is this what you call a headcanon?? idk BAHAHSHHA. anyways i've had this idea in my mind for a while and i wanted to share it to yall, so i hope you guys like it 😌

these also have a little back story on how you guys meet !!

also, special mention to @tatestripedsweater for helping me give ideas with jimmy's part !! thank you so much mwah 🥺❤

warnings: none! just pure fluff <3

please excuse any errors !

—♡—

~♡ TATE LANGDON:

before the pandemic, you and your family have moved into the murder house.

the house gave your family a very odd vibe, but nonetheless all of you had to bear with it because it was sold for a cheap price.

but when the pandemic arrived the country, you were stuck at home 24/7. thus, classes were online.

you met tate because of your father. tate was one of his patients and the both of you grew close.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

tate would randomly barge in your room while having a class and you would jump out of shock.

"Jesus, Tate. Stop scaring me like that!"

tate would giggle and lay on your bed, observing the lesson that the teacher rambled about.

while you're writing notes, he would stand up and take a chair from some part of your room and sit beside you.

knowing that tate is clingy, you would warn him not to bug you and behave while you listened in class.

of course, he doesn't listen and he would place his head on your shoulder and eventually would cuddle you.

"Taaate, please let me focus."

luckily, you always keep your camera off.

"Mmm, no. I enjoy bugging you."

~♡ KIT WALKER:

one time, you were driving to school on your own and you were almost running out of gas.

luckily, you saw a gas station nearby and decided to get a fill before heading to school. and there, you met kit.

when you first laid your eyes on kit, you thought that he was the prettiest man ever. you couldn't let this chance slip, thus, you exchanged numbers with him.

you talked all day and night, the both of you were so inlove with each other and you finally decided to introduce him to your parents.

your parents loved him and you were so, so happy.

but when the pandemic came, it affected your relationship with kit.

since all schools and unis were closed down, everything went online.

when kit stayed over, he couldn't spend a lot of time with you because you had to attend classes early in the morning, till afternoon.

"Can you stay in bed with me for a little bit, darling?"

unfortunately, you woke up late that day and you missed 10 minutes of your first class. and just like that, you were stuck to your desk until afternoon.

"Kit baby, I'm sorry. I'm late for my first class. Maybe later, okay?"

as much as kit hated this whole online class thing, he would always find a way to cheer you up.

thus, he would cook you breakfast and bring it over to your room.

"C'mere, I'll feed you while you listen and write down notes."

~♡ KYLE SPENCER (PRE DEATH AND POST DEATH) :

PRE DEATH:

madison, your friend, had bugged you all week to go with her to this college frat party near your house.

you weren't the party type. you loved staying at home, watching netflix or reading some sort of fan fiction on wattpad.

but you hated being single. so, this was your chance to actually get a boyfriend.

when you arrived at the party, you immediately hated it. everything was so loud and everyone was drinking, it was definitely a new sight for you.

you were sitting on a couch that was in the balcony, with a red cup that was filled with punch. you loved being away from the commotion.

this is where you met kyle, it was love at first sight. the both of you had so much in common and you thought that he was the man of your dreams.

you exchanged snapchats and from there, you were partners-in-crime.

you and kyle had stopped going to parties ever since the pandemic arrived, which means you got to see each other less.

since the both of you were students, both of your classes went online.

one time, kyle had no classes for a day and he decided to surprise you.

that day, you were having an online presentation. both your camera and microphone were on.

"Rene Descartes was the Father of Modern Philosophy—"

as you were presenting the slide show, you were cut off by kyle's presence infront of your desk.

"I brought you food, baby!"

you would shush him and suddenly turn off your mic.

"I'm so sorry, Miss. My boyfriend arrived and I—"

kyle would go beside you and kiss you on your cheek, your classmates and teacher cooing over it.

"Miss, you better give my girlfriend a good grade."

POST DEATH:

*pretend that he survived the bus accident and had a coma, because we arent involving witchcraft here*

kyle and his fraternity were on a bus that was going to some college event at school.

on the way there, you guys snapped each other and his friends would talk to you as well.

unfortunately, they got in an accident and the bus was flipped over.

a few students, including kyle, survived the accident.

when you heard this news, you cried your heart out and you didnt talk to anyone in your family.

you and your family visited the hospital and you rushed to kyle's room, it broke your heart to see tubes in him, with machines that beeped like there was no tomorrow.

when the doctor said that kyle was in a coma, your heart sank in the deepest part of your body.

this made you stay 24/7 with him until he was discharged.

when he was discharged from the hospital, he was not his usual self. the bubbly, energetic kyle was gone. instead, he was so confused with everything.

kyle's mom made him stay with you until he got his memory back, and you were more than glad to help.

but this took a toll on your studies because your classes were online due to a pandemic.

everyday in class, you would let kyle sit beside you and let him observe what you were doing.

"We're in Science class, Kyle. You were really good in Science, you helped me alot with my homeworks."

most of the time, you would help kyle develop his speech and his writing. but it was difficult for you.

"S-Sci... S-Sci-en.. ce?"

"Yes, Kyle! Good job, now one more time."

~♡ JIMMY DARLING:

ever since you were a kid, you loved going to carnivals, your parents would always bring you there every weekend.

there were carnivals almost everywhere, and your family brought you to all of them.

to you, each carnival was unique. the clowns and magicians in each carnival had different tricks up their sleeve.

but as you grew up, these carnivals slowly went out of business. except for one, which was elsa's cabinet of curiosities.

you decided to visit it one day just for a trip down memory lane, you never really had expectations for this place.

when you arrived there, there were a few people that were seated.

the show started and it instantly made you smile, they reminded you of your younger days. oh how you wished to be a child again.

you watched through a few acts, and the last act was a man named jimmy darling

when he came on stage, you locked eyes with him. there was something about him that really struck you.

after the performance ended, jimmy ran over to you and got your number. from there, you always talked and you would visit him regularly.

the regular visits stopped when the pandemic struck the country, forcing entertainment establishments, schools and unis to close down.

for the mean time, all your classes went online. you told jimmy that he could stay with you until things went back to normal.

on an early tuesday morning, you were in english class. jimmy was with your parents preparing breakfast, and you were falling asleep while your teacher discussed about the odyssey.

unlike tate, jimmy would always knock on your door. as his mom always taught, never enter anyone's room without knocking.

jimmy would giggle at your sleeping sight, your head lowered and your hair messed up.

"Hey, sweetheart, wake up! You're in class."

jimmy's timing was perfect. as he woke you up, you were called by the teacher.

"Miss Y/N, Do you think Odysseus was loyal to his wife?"

obviously, you panicked. but jimmy was there to save you. since jimmy was fond of reading, he finished the book and he whispered the answer to you before you could turn on your mic.

"No, Ma'am. Odysseus had an affair with Calypso and Circe."

once you got your teacher's approval, you turned off your microphone and let out a sigh of relief.

"You're lucky that I'm here to help you."

jimmy would joke and you would jump up to him, tackling him into a hug.

"I'm always lucky to have you, baby."

~♡ DANDY MOTT

at a young age, you were exposed to different types of fabrics. denim, silk, corduroy, neoprene. they name it, you've probably seen it.

your mother worked as a fashion designer. she managed to open a shop in the city and it was a great success for you and your family.

your mother has styled famous models. because of this, the shop was promoted and broadcasted all over the country. one day when you came from school, you saw a long line outside the shop.

that day, the staff count was low. there were only 5 employees instead of 10. you didn't exactly know why, so you decided to help.

after what felt like several hours, the long line finally dissolved into 2 customers, which was a mother and her son. they looked through the shop and the mother instantly loved everything.

her son, on the other hand, was trying on this lilac tux that your mother made.

you assisted her son and when you locked eyes, the both of you smiled. you entertained him throughout his shopping spree and the both of you never broke eye contact.

this was how you met dandy. he made the first move by getting your number, and of course you gave it back.

from there, the both of you talked day and night, even when you were in school.

since dandy's mother, gloria, loved your mother's shop so much, she would invite you and your mother regularly to her mansion.

gloria and your mother got along very well, and it was like gloria was your second mother.

so when your mother went to paris for a fashion show, she let you stay in gloria's mansion until she came back.

but to your dismay, your mother was not able to come back due to a pandemic that was all over the world. flights, establishments, and schools closed down.

of course you were sad, but you didn't worry so much because gloria treated you like her real daughter.

classes were online and you were forced to attend them everyday in the shared room you had with dandy.

since you had to get ready for class early in the morning, you would quietly get out of bed because dandy was sometimes a light sleeper.

it was around 8am and you were in math class. in your school, cameras were required to be turned on at all times. you thought this was a shit rule, but you had no choice to comply.

you were drawing some circles with a compass for an example that was being discussed by your teacher, when all of a sudden dandy was beside you.

"Dandy, sweetie, what are you doing up so early? Go back to sleep.."

dandy would pout at the lack of attention that you were giving him. since he loved holding your hand, you let him hold your other hand that you didn't use for writing.

"You're doing Math instead of cuddling with me!"

—♡—

i'm actually super proud of this omg !! i hope yall enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🥺❤

—♡—

[perriewinklenerdie]

Festival (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Claire Herondale

Word count: 1,2 k

Summary: Ethan takes Claire out for a date.

Warnings: None

A/N: Guess who’s back. Back again. Consider this my ‘I’m back, my dudes’ fic. I dipped my toes back into writing, hence the length of this fic. Please enjoy this fluff fest.

„Ethan Ramsey eating cotton candy? Never thought I’d see that day coming.” Claire grinned, teasing her boyfriend slightly. His hand, that was moving a piece of fluffy sugar to his mouth, froze halfway and his eyes shifted towards her. Something like a hint of a blush appeared on his neck, making her giggle even more.

“Childhood nostalgia, you could say.” Ethan shrugged, then finally took a bite of his treat. The corners of Claire’s eyes crinkled a tiny bit, her voice suspiciously innocent.

“God forbid anyone taking a photo. Tobias would never let you live that down if he knew.”

“Tobias finds the most ridiculous things to ‘not let me live down’, so you’re right, cotton candy would not be an exception. Good thing no one’s around to take a pho- “ his words get cut at the sound of the photo being taken. When he looks over at his girlfriend again, she’s holding up her phone, still taking photos. “Claire?”

“Oops.” She bit her lip, hiding her phone into her purse. Ethan took a step towards her, a smirk growing on his face. Claire tilted her head, making a show of looking sideways as though she was looking for a way to run. An act that would be impossible to pull off in her condition – a twisted ankle doesn’t make it easy to walk, let alone run.

While she was weighing her options, Ethan looped his arm around her waist, bringing their bodies closer. His lips hovered over hers, barely brushing as they talked.

“You think you’re cute when you do that, don’t you?” he hummed, looking intensely at her lips before moving to her eyes. Claire shrugged.

“No.” she pecked his lips a few times, shortly and playfully, making him laugh. “I know I am.”

“You’re so attractive when you’re confident.” Ethan muttered, tightening his hold on her, lifting her slightly to let her rest her injured foot on his. Her teeth sunk into her lower lip again and his eyes followed the movement instantly. “Even more when you do that.”

“Yeah? That’s sexy to you?” She threw her arms over his shoulders, fingers tangling into the hair on the back of his head. He nodded firmly, schooling his features into a look of certainty.

���Incredibly.”

She guided him into a real kiss. It was short-lived – their surrounding incredibly sufficient in reminding them that they were not alone. A man bumped into Ethan, throwing the pair off balance a bit. He opened his mouth to call out after the man, but Claire silenced him with a finger pressed to his mouth.

“Maybe a festival isn’t the best place for a hot make out session, huh?” she whispered, taking a cautious step backwards. He held onto her shoulder, stabilizing her.

“I’ll make sure to pick it back up as soon as I get you alone. Now.” he turned around and bent his knees a little. “Your carriage awaits, ma’am.”

“Thank you, kind sir.” She played along, both of them laughing. He helped her climb onto his back, his grip secure on her thighs.

That’s the way Claire’s been traveling for the whole day, hospital included. She considered crutches, but after tripping twice and not being able to do her work efficiently enough, she decided to take it easy and take a day off. Fortunately for her, she had an in with the Chief – who, coincidentally, decided to take a day off as well, carrying her out of the hospital around noon.

The idea for a date night out appeared in Ethan’s head when he saw festival stands being set up on their way home. Before they both knew it, they were dressed and thrown into the middle of a crowd, bright lights and music surrounding them. If anyone asked Ethan three years ago if he’d willingly go to a festival, he would laugh in their face and call them delusional. Here he was, however, carrying his injured girlfriend on his back as she pointed towards various attractions they just had to try.

“How is that possible that you’ve never tried this before?” she wondered as he sat her down in the seat attached to the game booth. They were about to shoot some fake guns in hopes of knocking down targets. Well, Ethan was – he saw Claire’s eyes lighting up playfully at the sight of the plush bear dressed like a doctor and he decided to win it for her.

All would be well if it wasn’t for the fact that Ethan was spectacularly bad at shooting targets – he wasn’t tragically bad, but two out of twelve targets he managed to hit weren’t nearly enough to win them the prize. That’s when Claire leaned out of her seat, taking the gun from him.

“Pay the nice lady for another game. It’s my turn.” She winked, lining up her shot.

“You know how to shoot?” he asked while passing the bill to the lady in the corner of the booth. His question was answered when she hit the first target. Dead center. Then the second one, and every other after that, until all the targets were lying flat.

“Take that, you stupid duck!” Claire exclaimed triumphally, placing the gun back into its holder. When she turned towards Ethan, she was met with his wide eyes. “Does that answer your question, babe?”

“How- “

“Don’t tell me you didn’t think Ryan Herondale would teach his children how to shoot a gun. We are spoiled rich, after all.” She grinned, then turned towards the lady. “We’ll take the doctor teddy bear, please.”

The teddy didn’t remain in her hands for long – she passed it to Ethan the moment they were in some distance from the booth.

“Here. Never hurts to practice CPR some more.” She tried not to laugh too much, but she couldn’t help herself as he looked at her with betrayal in his eyes.

“Oh, so now you believe me it was CPR?”

“I have to.” she sighed, then hopped around him until she was facing his back. Climbing onto the tips of her toes, she whispered into his ear. “If I didn’t, it would mean that you’ll be kissing someone other than me. And we can’t have that.” She jumped onto his back, turning his head with her hands so she could press her lips to his cheek. “Now, let’s go get some food so we can get home and practice kissing, huh?”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He mused, squeezing her thighs. “As soon as I get you home, you’ll be saying my name- “ he growled, prompting Claire to cover his mouth with her hand and a breathless ‘Ethan Ramsey!’ near his ear. “Yes, exactly like that.” He added. Her laughter trailed behind them as they went into the direction of their next destination.

Notes

We all know he was kissing that bear.

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you. Thank you all for still being here, I dipped from tumblr basically right after OH3 ended (funny how my uni waited until OH finale to murder me. How considerate of them.) but I was here in the background. 

To all people that sent me asks - I will try to answer them (no matter how outdated my answers are going to be)

Have a nice day/evening/night, and see you in the next one <3

Tagging separately

[reputationdamiano]

I just saw that Ethan has hand tendinitis, could you write an imagine were the reader is a physiotherapy student and she is the one that realises Ethan is in pain but is hiding it? I can totally see him pretending everything is fine and not wanting to go see a doctor. Thankkks

hi, here’s your requested imagine! it turned out longer (and more cheesy) than i planned but enjoy!

pairing: ethan torchio x reader

word count: 886

warnings: i guess none, maybe that food and alcohol are mentioned in this fic

a/n: i just want to say that it was not proofread and may contain some grammatical errors as i’m not a native speaker of english

sometimes you wished your life was different. as a physiotherapy student you had to study a lot and worry about passing your exams. you envied the life your friends had. they were in a rock band called måneskin. their everyday activities: writing songs, giving interviews, performing seemed much more interesting to you. it must have given them so much satisfaction.

it was summer, your semester at uni came to an end so you finally had time to relax. you spent most of it either travelling around the country or hanging out with måneskin when they weren’t on tour.

that friday you were at a party in victoria’s house. there were not many people, only the band’s closest friends. after chatting with a group of cheerful people, you grabbed a drink and sat at a couch next to ethan. he wasn’t a party animal or anything like that, but he acted much more reserved than usual.

„everything okay?” you asked. „you seem quite distant”

„yes, i just need some time to think about our upcoming show” he replied.

„ethan, you are an amazing musician, you don’t have to worry about that” you reassured him.

„you are always so kind to me, y/n” he smiled. „but there are some things i can do to make my performance better”

ethan reached for some chips from the near table. you noticed that his right wrist is a bit swollen. a random person would not acknowledge this, but as a future physiotherapist you were really sensitive to any anomalies of human body.

„can i see your wrist?” you enquired, out of nowhere.

„there’s no need to” he said, kind of frightened.

„so you admit it’s not completely healthy?” you caught him out.

„nothing serious, it doesn’t even hurt”

„firstly, i’ve know you for years, ethan, i can see when you’re lying. and don’t forget what i happen to study”

„okay” he sighed.

„but please don’t make me go to the doctor. i have to play at our show on thursday”

��i won’t promise you anything. health comes first. hence, if your injury is serious, you won’t be able to perform” you explained.

he showed you his wrist reluctantly. you saw it was swollen and sore.

„how strong is the pain?”

ethan knew there was no point in hiding the truth so he said:

„it hurts pretty much all the time, so i guess it’s severe”

„this injury can be a serious one” you implied.

„you should’ve told me earlier” you said and a bitter thought crossed your mind:

„you don’t trust me, do you ethan?” you said it out loud.

„of course i do, y/n! you got it wrong… i keep going for the band. we are so successful now. we must embrace our good times because they might end someday”

his words were a shock to you. you never really thought what famous people could be going through. popularity was uncertain and trends changed a lot.

„i get your point, but true fans will stand by your side no matter what” you reminded him.

„you’re right” ethan agreed with you.

„tomorrow we are going to the doctor and no buts” you said and he just nodded.

he asked if you could take him home so you drove there on your moped with ethan holding an arm around your waist.

he promised that he would rest until you meet again the next day.

at 1 pm on saturday you went to the doctor with ethan. he was so nervous while sitting in the waiting room. as it turned out, the drummer had tendinitis. it was caused by excessive practice and the medic adviced ethan to put some ointment on his wrist twice a day, rest for at least a week and attend an another appointment after this time.

the patient was dissatisfied but he didn’t withstand.

the other members of måneskin understood how serious the situation was and they called off the concert.

you spent a lot of time at ethan’s place taking care of him. everyday you applied ointments on his wrist and massaged it gently. this situation got you up close and personal with ethan.

after a week and a half he fully recovered.

„i want to thank you for everything: noticing something was wrong with my wrist, taking care of me when i was injured. you will make a great physiotherapist. you were born for this” ethan told you the day he got the word about the condition of his tentons. „you are an amazing person, y/n. i’m grateful to have you in my life. you have always meant a lot to me. in fact, i’m hopelessly in love with you. i’ve never confessed my feelings before but i thought you deserve to know” he looked into your eyes, waiting for your answer.

„i love you too, i’ve always loved you, ethan” you said and he leaned for a kiss.

that day changed a lot of things in your life: not only your relationship status, but also your way of thinking. you were motivated to go back to uni in autumn. everything that has happened over the summer reminded you why you originally chose to study physiotherapy: you wanted to ease others’ suffering and take care of them. your boyfriend was immensely proud of you.

[rebellum]

Every once in a while I'm reminded that I'm like actually traumatized from being mentally ill and the helplessness I felt

Like I've been okay for maybe around a year now, actually good, I'm no longer disabled

But I still have rough nights like tonight where it's like I can't help but think about it and daydream scenarios where I tell people about how absolutely failed I feel I was from the people around me

Like I did what you're supposed to do in that situation- I told multiple trusted adults about my mental health issues. And my mum helped a lot, definitely, and she did her best, I don't fault her for that, but no one else did anything either

I wish I had gone behind my mums back earlier

At 17 I knew how anti-medicstion she was (or, thought she was, it was a whole situation where she's not actually anti medication and just felt like it was best to tell me that meds wouldn't help bc she wanted to help me to feel better, esp since in her opinion I wouldn't have gotten medication while under 18)

and finally went to a psychiatrist who of course was like "oh my god yes I will help you" because she realised if wasn't fucking okay or normal for a teen to hallucinate when they get anxious and have paranoia and be so desperate for death from depression

And im. Starting to realise by typing this out that I don't think my mum did really do her best, maybe. She still should have taken me to a doctor. When your 15 year old tells you they want to die and that they think aliens are after them and that almost every day they feel spiders crawling all over them, you take them to the fucking doctor, not hope it goes away because you had a simular mental health issue that went away in your early 20s

I was just in such desperate need of help and almost no one helped me. I went to my aunt and she was basically like wow that sucks. I told my acting instructor and she, to my absolute befuddlement, told me anxiety was actually good because without it people wouldn't do things like meet deadlines. No one fucking helped me and its been 13 years since the whole thing started happening that made me spend ages like 12-21ish in absolute agony. So I guess I just get into states like this sometimes where I can't help but feel terrible that at 12 years old I literally wrote a suicide note every single month but chickened out. For years I've thought like, that's fine, 12 is almost 13 and therefore basically a teenager, and many teens have rough times, so it's actually good that I got to have 11 years of childhood

But as I get older and more separate from my past self I realise that wasn't enough

That there are 15 year olds worried about normal teens things like if someone has a crush on them, and that adolescence is actually a part of childhood, and that it was robbed by me by my mental illness. I've so far bad to spend my early 20s where other people emotionally are at teens because I straight up fucking missed a big part of my development. Of course I'm traumatized. I don't even know how to deal with it though. This times where I can't help but imagine explaining it get farther apart, at least. I haven't had one like this in months.

I think I still feel helpless. I m no longer disabled but i still struggle and I still feel like I'm under control of some monster of mental illness. And I don't even know if it's normal or not! I don't know if everyone in their 20s feels helpless like they're on a raft in an ocean because they know what they need to do and how to do it but have to deal with the idea that their body just won't let them do it. I've been in uni since fall 2016 because of mental health issues making me drop my classes, and I'm supposed to have just one year left, and I plan on doing it, and I want to do it, but an outside force may stop me from completing it on time. And yeah maybe just everyone young feels this way, like some mercurial outside force is keeping them tethered. And maybe I'm just being a baby about it. Or maybe crying about it is also a normal and okay part of it and I'm not being stupid and oversensitive.

Tomorrow will be better, I suspect, today has just been a REALLY rough day for me

[anonbeadraws]

So I caved and with @spacespectres help made an avatarsona! With a big chunky statement to go with it!    (Trigger warnings for homophobia/transphobia, conversion therapy, death and parental abuse. Everyone gets just desserts though.)

‘I’m, actually not sure why I’m here. You can’t help me, my son is gone and the police arn't saying it but - I’m sorry, my ears are- It’s like- You know those alarms, the ones that are made to disperse kids at shopping centres, keep them from causing trouble- not that i think they work. you see more of them these days, scruffy and dirty, what their parents doing, i don’t-  Anyway, it’s like that noise, that high buzz. it’s meant to be that, as you get older, your brain tunes it out, adults aren’t meant to hear it anymore, just keep on shopping without hoodlums hanging about outside smoking and throwing shit at the elderly.   I don’t miss that, Ben’s smoking, i’ll say that. That’s awful to say, i bet you’re thinking, god how terrible, her child’s missing and she’s moaning about a few nicotine stains on the ceiling.

I know theres plenty that would call me a terrible mother anyway, i know the neighbours didn’t agree with my decision, the decision of a single mother, who struggled enough just to keep her child fed and watered and out of trouble, to then struggle to keep him from wearing my lipstick when i was out of the house-!   I have no problem with the gays. I want to say that, have that clear. I just know, what he was doing, that wasn’t my Ben, that wasn’t my son and, the Helping House was what he needed.   I’m his mum, i know what he needed, don’t care what his dad says. he wasn’t here, he wasn’t here to raise Ben, so he doesn’t-

The pamphlet was so nice, so professional and i checked it out online, all 5 stars, apart from the odd protester sticking his oar in, and it was- reassuring to know he’d be looked after, helped! Get what he needed. And he was fine when i left him there, with his old school backpack with all his bits in, the Helping staff there to welcome him. Reminded me a little of when he started primary school, he looked so small, all big eyes…  They promised it’d be a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and then he could come home, all better.

  I got to visit every weekend, which was nice! Sometimes brought him biscuits, can't beat home made, chatted a little. He still had that, that look from when i left, like he was little again, when i could tell he didn’t really want to leave me at the gates, he didn’t want to go in all alone, couldn’t we just go home instead mum?  But i was strong. For him. I resisted.

I think, it was when that look started to go, that little boy look, replaced with something, i don’t really want to think about even now, that i really noticed the other patients. One in particular. He looked different from the others. Props to the Helping House, they keep, kept the kids tidy. it was actually lovely, real treat to see Ben all combed and neat, not smelling like his trash dump of a room. And not a whiff of smoke! i’d honestly not have been surprised if he’d snuck in some ciggies in but if he had, they must have confiscated em quick.    No fags in the Helping House! I mean-! oh you know, what i mean!

But this one,.. they all dressed in clothes from home, apparently they worked out its better for the process, this one was a mess. Half shaved hair, no knees in the jeans and honestly, sunglasses indoors? who did He think he was!? Mick Jagger?  He just slouched in the corner of the visiting room, looking out into the gardens, like he belonged there in that clean good place.  They were nice gardens, well looked after, like the kids. I remember it was coming up summer, lots of lovely flowers. lots of happy bees.

Anyway, i did Not like how Ben looked over at, him, while we had our cups of tea. it was this, gooey soft look i’d never seen on him. later i remembered it. it was how his dad looked when we started courting. That cloying honey sweet love that turned sickly and choking far too quick. God, that look, on my boys face? You bet I had words with the staff before i went. I did not bring my boy here to get help and it be ruined by some hooligan with warped intentions. I made sure they understood. They didn't seem to know what i meant by the Sunglasses kid but it’s a big facility, probably get a lot of patients. Their success rate was incredible really, always seemed to be spaces open. Whatever they did, didn’t do a lot though. Cause i kept seeing him, every time i visited. And he drew a crowd.       At first it was the ones who didn’t have family to come, poor dears. They’d be sat, close as they could to him. They had rules about touching in the Helping House, and rightly so, helps with, the temptation, but they’d sit there, close as they could to him, just listening, sun on their faces from the big glass window.  Now that i’m thinking about it, I don’t think i remember ‘em blinking?    Anyway, Could never hear what was said, what venom that creeper was pouring into their ears, whenever i tried to hear him over the other visitors, it just came over as a low buzz. Well, whatever it was, those kids were hooked.  I didn't like it. And the next weekend, there more of ‘em! You’d have kids that’d be crying one week that their family hadn't come, who didn't give two shits the next, pardon my french. They’d be sat in the corner, happy sappy faces, listening to whatever nonsense that kid was murmuring to his little flock. They didn’t touch, not then, but it was a close thing, i remember being so shocked that nothing was being done about it. It was obviously a problem. that weirdo was the problem.

But my boy didn’t stray. He might’ve looked over at that hive of idiots who worked against what these good people were trying to do for them, with that… look. But he stayed and drank his tea with me like he should. He looked tired, but i knew that’s cause he was working hard, getting better.  i got the reports.

But the last couple of visits, i come in and it’s just my boy in the visitors room.   The rest were outside in the garden, in the flowers. All those kids, twenty or so of em, tangled in each other, touching and so close. I don’t think they were, Doing things but, it was against regulation for sure,  and I stood up, to go do something, anything, even just yell at them to stop it, ask what they thought they were doing!? That’s when the Buzzing started. For a second i thought it was just a bee come in from the garden, poor little bumble trapped indoors but it was in my ears, in my head. It was nothing i’d ever felt before and I’ve had Tinitus and that’s a nasty bugger but it was more than that.

Been to the doctors since. Apparently they can’t work it out, whats causing it. All they can say was it wasn’t Tinitus.

I think it was, Sunglasses looking at me. I remember when i got up, to tell ‘em off, i remember light in the corner of my eye, like a reflection off glass. I think he turned, he knew i was going to stop em and he-

Last sunday was the last time, the last visit. Had a big tin of biscuits, gingerbread, Ben’s favourite, had some nice news about his cousin getting into uni, first in the family! Always had hopes Ben would be the second, but-  Ben wasn’t waiting for me. He was outside. With Them.

Him.

There he was, holding the hand of that freak and the staff were just stood round like numpty’s doing nothing! Dumb faces and vacant as their patients were outside rolling about in the sun like it was the 60’s! And smoking! I thought, they must’ve found a stash cause i could see the smoke, swirling dark against the sky, dark against their smiling, stupid faces.

I was furious. i was, so angry.

I think thats why i did it. I was so angry that i couldn’t think of anything else to do but grab that sunglasses wearing freak who was corrupting my boy, who was holding his hand and steering him wrong and undoing all my work and love, and shake my anger out of him. I was yelling all that, yelling at him. I remember he was light, not as heavy as he should be, not for a kid his age and that he didn’t flinch. And he spoke to me, in that low drone that I thought had been just distance and space distorting his voice, but was just him, god it was just him.

I cant remember exactly what he said, something about love, real love, some hippy nonsense. No, i remember one thing. The little shit asked if i thought i was ‘my child’s real Family.” ‘Of course, i said, ‘i’m his mother’ Then he smiled, like i was wrong and i hated him. And I could see myself, in that dark reflection, in those stupid shades and i couldn’t stand it.   I wish i hadn’t, done what i did. i just didn’t want to see myself in that black mirror anymore, all twisted and hateful.   Turns out it was far nicer than what was behind them.

I let go, dropped it, that thing in ripped jeans and stripes and it fell into the flowers. There were so many happy bees. Thats when i heard the other kids. They had it’s voice, shared it’s voice, that drone. That buzz. i didn’t dare look at them. My ears, started up again, like before but, that sound, their sound, it made it louder and i honestly thought my head might explode and I turn to Ben, my boy, who had dropped to his knees in front of that thing, holding it’s hand and for a second, I thought he was smoking again, dark wisps coming from his downturned face and, I just, my fear turned to anger, for just a second, that he would do that here and now.

But I begged him to come away, to leave it alone, to get better, to just be my little boy again, to come home with mummy. Then he looked up, my Ben, and his face-   it wasn’t smoke, it had never been smoke. it was the same as whatever had been bumbling around in the creature that still lay in the flowers but Ben smiled all the same. I, feel crazy, crazy saying it but- as the bees poured out of my little boy’s smiling mouth in that choking swarm, their buzzing droning out his words, my boys last-

My name is Sarah

i’d never seen him happier.

Apparently I fainted. Never fainted in my life, i’ll tell you, too tough for that sort of thing, but i must’ve. Police think it’s what saved me. I like to think otherwise.   Officially, what happened was that the patients turned on the staff, killed em and left. Simple, explainable. Some sicko’s like to use what happened as an argument against conversion therapy, old hippy dykes that don’t have enough to picket over, idiots.  They didn’t see the bodies, they didn’t see what those ‘helpless victims’ did- They dragged them outside after they killed em, into the sun, into the flowers. I remember waking up once, amongst all the dead. Happy bees, dipping their beaks into the blood of the doctors. Plenty of sugar in blood, I read.

Ben was all i had left, my only family. I don’t have no one left. You don’t get many visitor when the papers insist you made your kid a killer. Don’t even get phone calls from Dave anymore, but i call that blessing. He was barely Ben’s dad anyway. I’ve gotten used to the quiet. i go to work, i come home, watch a bit of telly. the buzz from the old tv only scares me a little. I know i did my best for him. i believe that, after everything. I wouldn’t be here though, if, there wasn’t, something else.

 I had a visitor the yesterday. Wasn’t expecting it, thought it was a missionary, Jehovah’s or something. Was ready to tell them to piss off, i tell you. It was a girl. Said she was my daughter. she looked like my Ben, same smile, same funny little knees he used to scrape up, ones i used to kiss better. It wasn’t Ben. My Ben had eyes. My daughters words buzzed, like there was something in her throat. Perhaps the same things that crawled where her eyes would be, round and yellow and bumbling, i thought, and my head starting hurting again. She only stayed at the door, didn’t come in. She said she just wanted to say hello.

She said she’ll visit again.

That she’ll bring her family.

i don’t think she means me anymore.’ The magnus archives belongs to Rusty Quill, the above belongs to me!

[wipsanonymousfest]

Week One Round Up

PLEASE REMEMBER TO REBLOG THE FIC POSTS AND GIVE THE AUTHORS LOTS OF LOVE! 

When you Wish by Anonymous

Teen & Up - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson - 2384 Words - Update every other Sunday 

Summary: Harry Styles is a regular uni student who's perfectly content with his unremarkable existence. That is, until he buys an old oil lamp that just happens to have a wish-granting genie inside. Now, he's realising that he's not quite as happy as he once thought he was. It's too bad that the one thing he wants is the one thing a wish can't give him.

Long and Lost by Anonymous 

Explicit - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Jade Thirlwall - 4175 Words - Updates Every Friday

Summary: The lights went up and the music came to an abrupt halt in the small pub that Harry was sat alone in the corner of. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest as he grappled with what he was looking at - the love of his life, sitting in front of a man on one knee. 

“Louis. You’re my favourite human being on earth, marry me?” the man said hopefully. 

From meters away Harry saw Louis’ eyes roll as he playfully smiled and said “try again”. 

The man chuckled and started again, “Louis, you are the most breathtaking person I’ve ever known. Life without you is meaningless, please say yes and let me spend the rest of our lives loving you the way you deserve.”

“Much better, of course I will.” They both stood and it was the moment that Louis smiled as wide as Harry had ever seen him, and jumped into another man's arms as a crowd cheered, that Harry reached his breaking point and moved out of the door faster than he had in his life. He knew trying to reach out could hurt him, he just stupidly didn’t see anything like this coming. But of course someone else loved him, someone who wanted to love him the way he deserved, someone who wouldn’t hurt him the way Harry had.

Trust The Process by Anonymous

Explicit - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/OMC’s - 5117 Words - Updates every other Friday

Summary: Louis Tomlinson wasn’t a good omega. 

He lacked the graciousness of his peers and the elegance his status required. His shyness and rural upbringing made him a sore spot in the polished environment of his husband’s circle, never answering in a timely or contextually appropriate manner. Modest by default, he was seen as prudish more than respectable. The list of his faults was too long to remember, a constant reminder of his luck at having an admirable alpha who bore this burden day after day. In exchange, all he had to do was one thing, something so easy people daily did it by complete accident; yet his failings as an omega bled into his ability to produce an heir, despite two years of frequent attempts from the married couple. 

Their last hope lied in the hands of the most competent doctor in the country, whose unexpected revelations and unique methods might just have more consequences than anyone could have predicted.

Or: Louis’ alpha cannot produce an heir. The only discreet and sustainable solution appears to be to get Louis impregnated at a clinic by an unknown alpha. Things take an unexpected turn.

City of Blinding Lights by Anonymous 

Explicit - Marcel/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson - 10584 Words - Updates every other Friday

Summary: Marcel Edwards is confident in his role as an Intelligence Agent for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in New York City. 

That is until their newest case has him stepping out of his comfort zone and onto the runway, undercover, at New York Fashion Week. Now, under the direction of Agent Louis Tomlinson, it’s up to Marcel to get his hands on the new drug that’s been making the rounds in the elite circles of the rich and famous and find out where the hell it’s coming from. 

With the help of a team of professionals and a pseudonym like Harry Styles, what could go wrong?

Or an AU loosely based on Miss Congeniality.

Once a Gentle Breeze by Anonymous

Explicit - Girl Direction - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson - 9158 Words - Updates Every Friday

Summary: With nothing but the small sum of money in her bank account and the few bags holding all of her belongings, Harry moved from her small hometown to London to pursue her dreams of becoming a songwriter. To afford her bills and avoid eviction while desperately trying to immerse herself in the London music scene, she took a job at a bar. But it wasn’t the type of bar she was expecting it to be. 

Or the girl direction Coyote Ugly AU.

Written for the WIPs Anonymous Fic Fest

[anotherbeingsworld]

Fly High

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine) 

Characters: Bryce Lahela, Casey Valentine and Teresa Martinez. 

Summary: The small moments with Mr.s Martinez were playing in their mind a year after the inevitable happens. 

TW: death. 

A/N: hi! I am sorta-back in the writing game? This idea has been living in my mind as OPH is coming. Its somewhat a tribute to Mrs. Martinez, and with a small touch of backstory between Bryce and Casey. I’m so sorry for not writing as much as I did before, uni is almost coming to an end for the 2nd semester which i am quite excited for. But, this story is dear to my heart. Idk why I love to write death, as i somewhat resonates it with life, but...this really is something I am very proud of. I like to dedicate this to those who wants to catch their dreams but, they couldn’t. Mrs. Martinez really gave us good advice, and...I’d like for it to stay in our minds. Also, I’m dedicating this to those who have leave a mark in my life. Its something that still blows me away everyday. Thank you, and enjoy! <3 

MY MASTERLIST

"I would take a 99% chance of dying over spending the next ten years in this hospital. To have even a 1% chance of exploring the world... of finally standing on the steps of Sacre-Coeur... I would give everything."—Mrs. Martinez.

---------

365 days ago. 

“Teresa Martinez were found dead at her hotel room in Buenos Aires.” was the topic in the hospital that day. The news of Mr.s Martinez leave the hospital devastated, as the world seems to stop for Casey. 

It doesn’t feel real. It’s not real, she is living her life happily in Paris...visiting the Sacre-Coeur. She can’t be...  

The thoughts were interrupted by the sound of ambulance coming in, a trauma case distracting her thoughts. She quickly joined in the other interns in the scene, but her mind falls onto Mr.s Martinez; the advice she left. A wisdom, as her passing is similar to a shooting star finally burns out. A light that has to be left behind. The days went by quicker, a trial, law-suit occurs in a blink of an eye. 

---------

PRESENT DAY 

It was a day of remembrance today, as Bryce and Casey make their way to the hospital in a slow pace. It was an emotional day for all of them, as all their memories were playing. All the laughter and joy, it was one of her favorite things about her. Her cheery persona was the heart of Edenbrook, and without her; a light has been burn, but a star has obtain someone special to keep on shining them from a far. 

Bryce was awfully quiet as well, as they walked down the road after spending their night together. Words were unspoken the night before, as the comfort was worth more than a sentence, a word and even a rhyme. 

Casey found herself to a stop, at the entrance. A distance away, trying to calmed herself down. He broke the silence by placing his hand on her cheek, caressing it with a small smile on his face.

‘You cam do this okay, we are all here for you.’ He said before pulling her into a kiss, as they melt into an embrace before going their separate ways. He stops in the mid of the hallway, his eyes fall onto her as they were met with a pair of emeralds that is already looking at him. 

They both resume their day, as the memories followed them throughout the hour. A reminder that she had left a mark to everyone in Edenbrook including one Casey Valentine and Bryce Lahela. 

----------

C A S E Y

The voices around her fades, as she sat on the empty bench, letting out a sigh as she was dismissed by Dr. Mirani upon her mistake today in the patient room. She remembers the embarrassment as the other interns let out a chuckle upon her mistake, moments before she was chewed. It was her second week as an intern, and she has made mistakes; what happened to her? 

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone occupying a seat the opposite of her. It was Mrs Martinez letting out a breath with her I.V stand on her side, looking at her with concern. She smiled upon her arrival as she remembers the events on their first meet which involves herself being lost in the hospital during her first day with Elijah. 

Weeks later, she became close to her as she learns upon her love towards travelling, visiting new places around the world; from the Bright Lights of Paris to the city of Madrid. And, the thought of the postcards hanging in her room bring joy to her, as a reminder of her own dream to be a doctor. 

“Casey dear, what’s with the long face?” She spoke, as Casey lets out a sigh.

“I just, I messed up again. It’s been a month, and I tend to get distracted with everything; friendships, the competition, dreading patients, and everything feels too overwhelming.” She burried her face in her hands, trying to hide her expression from the woman in front of her.

After a few moments of silence, she opened her eyes once more to be met with a concerned looking Mr.s Martinez. 

“Dear, you are not human if you never messed up. If I ever got a dollar for every time I took a wrong turn in life, I believe I can afford a mansion in the city of Stars.” 

Casey lets out a chuckle upon the mention of it, as the smile slowly appear on her face. 

“I think I’d be able to pay up my student loans that way.” 

There was a ripple of laughter between them, lighten up the mood releasing a knot on her shoulders that has been there for the day. 

“Indeed, but I saw you work that day; and I believe you are going places dear. You are unique, and the world is not ready to see the light in you dim. For the last decades of living, I made a huge mistake of not pursuing my dreams; and I don’t want to see you give up this dream Casey.” Her voice is demanding yet calm giving her a sense of hope. 

They were interrupted by Danny who is in the midst of a scavenger hunt for one Mr.s Martinez who apparently has left her room once again.

“There you are Mr.s Martinez, its time for your medicine once again.” Danny said as he smiles upon their interaction.

“I guess my time is up. I had fun chatting with you dear, I’ll see you soon.” Mr.s Martinez left with Danny leaving her alone with the wild thoughts once again. 

But, this moment; she received a sense of hope. Maybe it will be okay after all. 

----------

B R Y C E

The first day as a surgical intern at Edenbrook. He was finally a surgeon, all those years of bartending was worth it. His confidence somewhat pushed people away, as he shrugs the feeling off. He came here to be the best, and not to find friends. 

“Welcome interns. Today is the start of your careers as a surgical intern, and I am ecstatic for what all of you could bring to the table.” the Dr. Harper Emery exclaims happily, as she eyed the crowd of surgeons.

There was a round of applause, as the energy in the room was accumulated. 

“I will introduce you to Dr. Tanaka who is one of your surgical residents. He will be guiding you through this journey. Some of you will fall, quit, but some of you will rise and it will be worth it in the end.” 

After the introduction was done, the crowd was dismissed as the first rounds of the day begun for the surgical interns. 

His heart was filled with excitement, a new beginning. A new slate, and a new chance to not become known. That is the whole reason from the beginning. He is Bryce Lahela, a surgeon. Nothing else more. 

As the days go by, he has been able to witness the procedures that were taught during his years at medical school. His gaze was equivalent to one who looks at their favorite food which is filled with awed and joy. As someone who would fixed up the problems at home, surgery made him feel fulfill once again. It is giving him a purpose even after everything that has happened. 

“Dr Lahela, earth to Dr. Lahela.” A voice called for him brought him back from his subconscious. 

“Yes, I’m here.” He replied as the other interns were found laughing silently at the back.

“What is the first step to perform a  Laparoscopic appendectomy?’ Dr. Tanaka questioned him with Dr. Emery on his side observing. All of the eyes fall on him.

It was his moment to show that he is worth it today, and everyday for the rest of his life.

We will access the appendix through a few small incisions in the abdomen as a cannula which is a small, narrow tube  will then be inserted. It is used to inflate the abdomen with carbon dioxide gas which allows us to see the appendix more clearly...” He paused, as he took a deep breath before resuming his explanation. 

“Once the abdomen is inflated,  a laparoscope will be inserted through the incision. It is a long, thin tube with a high-intensity light and a high-resolution camera at the front which will display the images on a screen, allowing us to see inside of the abdomen and guide the instruments. When the appendix is found, it will be tied off with stiches and removed. The small incisions are then cleaned, closed, and dressed.” His final words fall as somehow equivalent to a mic-drop earning both smiles from the two doctors, as they resumed with rounds for the day. 

He took a minute to be proud of himself, as it is a reminder that he is here to stay. 

After rounds was over, he is officially a surgeon. He was assigned under Dr. Tanaka as he was his resident along with a few other interns. It was really happening, the suprised dream he had that was meant to be an escape; has came true today.

“Dr. Lahela, I would like you to scrub in with me to perform your very first appendectomy in the O.R” Dr. Tanaka said, as his smile was wide filled with joy which was taken away by the growling voices of the other interns behind him. 

He ignored them, as he started to scrub in. The looked that was dedicated to him was somewhat a deja vu moment, a moment where he was known as the son of a criminal. The hatred eyes that is coming to him, attacking him slowly as it was disguised by the confident exterior. 

He shake the thoughts away, getting himself prep in the O.R for his first surgery, but some demons never left as he tried his best. 

After they were dismissed, he took a turn to the cafeteria as a distraction. It wasn’t the best, maybe he hoped it would be like the movies; he would be the protagonist, the hero. Instead, it was the joker. 

He decides upon a snicker bar from one of the vending machines, as the line piled up. He took a seat at the edge of the room, with his pager present on the table. A breath was taken, calming the rage and expectations in him. 

The occupied thoughts were interrupter by a woman, looking at her once again with concern. 

“You should try this, it’s the cafeteria signature.” The voice was soft, comforting as she passed a pudding cup his way. Chocolate to be specific. 

“It’s just a pudding cup, mr.s” He chuckled upon the small cup, as Mr.s Martinez joined him on the empty seats. 

“It’s more than a pudding cup, it’s the cure of sadness actually.” She gestures upon him, as realization hits him.

“I didn’t hide it hard enough didn’t I?” 

She just shake his head, as he held the pudding cup in his hands. 

“You must be one of the new interns aren’t you, the outfit reminds me of a young Harper Emery during her own residency.” She gestures towards his green scrubs. 

“She was the legend, and you have seen her work here before??” His eyes shine upon the name.

“Son, I have been in this hospital for the last decade. I have known all the residents for some times now, there was a lot a person can go through for the last 10 years.” She stated as Bryce was filled with awe. 

“So, tell me what’s with the long face; I thought it was supposed to be an exciting start.”  

“I woke up today feeling on top of the world, but coming here feels like the past haunting me once again. The eyes, the look, and...it reminds me of something I always wanted to forget.” He lets out a small sigh upon the statement, it wasn’t the whole truth, but it feels go to have someone to listen. 

“The past, its always going to be there to haunt us. Sometimes, history repeats itself to prove how strong you are. You have been through a lot and you survived, you are a doctor today dear. This chance is bigger than any doubt, any pain, any memory that you have been through. I have seen the doctors here grow, some had left to pursue something easier, some even crack under the pressure, but some also thrive in excellence. Those people have fought to survive, and that’s what life is about dear. Fighting to survive, I am fighting too. It felt like a long journey for the past 10 years, but some adventures are worth to take to get to the final destination.” She ends the speech with a smile, as she left him with his thoughts once again. 

It feels like a fever-dream, but it is true. Maybe, he will make it after all with a pack of chocolate pudding by his side. 

Suddenly, his pager starts to beep. A new chance to start again, a new hope was in-stored. He took a final bite before leaving the room, feeling okay for the first time that day. 

----------

PRESENT DAY 

The day passes by quickly, as the reminders and memories kept on replaying in their minds. A sign from her, a message possibly, a lingering gift from the beyond. 

Casey met up with Bryce at the entrance, they have plans that evening. Both of them are already dressed in black which replaces the scrubs from the day; Luis invited them that day to pay their respects for Mrs. Martinez. The whole gang followed, as it is better to face the inevitable together- making it less scarier. 

The evening was peaceful, it was beautiful even. The leaves started to fall, its a start of a new season; some would say a new chapter. They met with Luis to pay their respects to the woman who had changed all of their lives, as they changed hers even for a moment. 

They paid their respects together, as Casey lets out of her silent wishes for Mrs. Martinez. It took a few moments before she was met with his comforting gaze once more, as she nods in completion.  Their reunion with Luis was a pleasant one, as he thanked them once more; despite everything. It echo’s in her mind, word-by-word. 

‘You give my mom her happiness, the one thing I couldn’t. I will never thank you enough for the little miracle that had happened. I was pissed when I found out, but...you manage to give her the signature Martinez’s smile once more. Thank you.’

Luis excused himself from the group, as they were pulled into a group hug. Mrs. Martinez gave each and everyone of them a purpose. Something that she couldn’t see before. 

After they bid their farewell,  Bryce and Casey walked hand-in-hand making their way back home as they talked about life, memories, and even happiness. It was a beautiful ending for their day, as the sunset was their backdrop, it was what life is all about. 

She finally started to live life, as he continues to pursue his dream. Maybe even found himself a new dream as well. 

----------

‘Life to one Teresa Martinez ; it was an unforgettable journey. She believed in the impossible, she took a risk that wasn’t mean to be taken by any other. She trusted me, and that was everything. But, the news - it was a tragedy. Death is a tragedy, as life was taken away from us. But, Teresa Martinez’s death reminds us of the dreams that we wanted to catch. The dreams that were left behind, the dreams that were abandoned in the dust. It was a dream that is worth following for, even if it ends upon your death bed. She believed in me during my dark times, and the reminder of one Teresa Martinez, is something we can’t turn back from. But, the advices and love she has left behind is a reminder that those who are gone...will always be with us, we can’t see them, but there are always there guiding us, cheering us on even after they have left us behind. Teresa Martinez lived a good life, and she will never be forgotten as she is flying high at somewhere better.’  

THE END. 

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[lemoncupcake]

beth and rio: is it cheating? a (weak) analysis by yours truly

so, a couple of months ago i was thinking about how in fiction cheating is basically always justified and decided to send a message to megan @foxmagpie asking for her opinion on whether or not beth and rio hooking up in 2x04 and 2x09 counted as cheating on beth’s part, which she still hasn’t answered :( (i mean, i’m being a brat, but i totally get it, i can’t imagine answering as many asks as you do, on top of like having a life lol)

today i was watching some youtube videos about the nuclear revenge and surviving divorce reddit forums, which reminded me of this topic again. and now i’m procrastinating doing my uni work while waiting for class to start, so i thought, why not write about my thoughts on the subject?? and if megan or anyone else also wants to add theirs too, even better!!

so, yeah, this is a long-winded way to say that under the cut you’ll find my thoughts on if beth was cheating on dean when she had sex with rio in 2x04, 2x09 and 4x06.

a warning: i did not rewatch anything to write this. i’m just typing this out while i wait for class to start with no preparation whatsoever. so, if i forget something, i’m sorry. feel free to tell me what i forgot and why you think it changes things (or doesn’t) :)

my hypothesis: 4x06 was cheating, but 2x04 and 2x09 were not

my supporting evidence for 2x04:

in 1x04, beth says she should “get on that”, with “that” being the fact that she’s still dean’s wife, which imo can be read pretty much exclusively as her wanting to get a divorce aka the relationship is over and therefore she can not cheat on him. if she’d hooked up with rio directly after this, it wouldn’t be cheating.

of course, directly after that dean lies to her about having cancer, so they don’t end up getting divorced. however, they’re still sleeping in separate bedrooms and i don’t think any scene indicates that beth still has any romantic interest in him, so imo they’re still not together, only co-habitating

by 1x09, they were still sleeping in separate bedrooms, but beth has clearly softened towards him and is starting to forgive him, as is made clear by her conversation with annie

in 1x10, dean asks beth to choose whether they’re still together and are going to celebrate their anniversary or not. she chooses to celebrate, ergo they are together

after that, dean gets into a car accident while ogling a jogger and beth finds out he doesn’t actually have cancer from his er doctor. imo, at that point, beth thought the relationship was over

however, after that rio shoots dean and beth feels responsible for it. she doesn’t seem happy that he’s survived in the hospital scene, but she does the most for him during his recovery. dean is sleeping in a hospital-like bed in the middle of their living room, though, so they’re still not sharing a room. you could make the point that it seems like medical necessity and doesn’t have anything to do with their relationship status but i think that if they were together, the bed would be in their bedroom bc they seem to have the space for it, so it being in the living room is telling.

in 2x02, we get a shot of beth in her bed alone in the middle of the night, so still not sharing a bedroom then.

i don’t think we get any relevant info about their sleeping situation in 2x03 and 2x04. in 2x05, obviously, we have that iconic scene of her in the bedroom alone, but i don’t think it necessarily means they’re not sleeping together, dean could have just gotten up before her. i think it’s very unlikely, though,  considering how inept a father and husband he is, that he’d purposefully wake up before his wife to take care of breakfast, especially since he then goes in to bother her about it anyways, but it’s not impossible. personally, though, i do believe that at this point they haven’t shared a bedroom at all since beth first kicked him out of the house in 1x01.

going back to 2x04 itself, beth finds out dean has made bad financial decisions again and then steps up to take care of things. when she succeeds, she and dean go out to dinner together, but imo it’s a business dinner. she begins talking about boland motors right away. if i’m being honest, with the way she reacted to his praise at first, i think dean could have managed to turn it around to becoming a real date, but he fucked it up. it seems to me like beth just let him talk and make bad decisions about what she wanted to drink and eat during the rest of the meal before arranging for them to go to the bar where she’d met with rio earlier in the episode. i don’t think she saw it as a date, but i do think dean did. he clearly had no idea during the other scenes that he’d ruined his chances during the first 5 minutes.

in conclusion: i think they weren’t together in 2x04. dean might’ve thought they were on a date, but beth certainly didn’t. i don’t think we have any of them explicitly say it was one, just that they were going out to dinner. dates are only dates if both people know they’re on a date, so i don’t think it was one. if they weren’t on a date at that moment, then they still weren’t together (based on all the other evidence), so i don’t consider it cheating on beth’s part to hook up with rio at the bar.

now my supporting evidence for 2x09:

dean took the kids and left. his condition for coming back was basically for beth to break up with rio.

it’s clear that when he did come back, they (mostly) reverted back to what had been their status quo during their relationship before s1 started, so i assume that means they are together once he comes back.

the condition for dean coming back was that beth give up crime/rio. when she was having sex with rio she hadn’t yet done that and dean hadn’t come back. ergo, she and dean were not together and therefore she wasn’t cheating.

now my supporing evidence for 4x06:

it’s pretty clear in 3x01 that beth and dean went back to their previous roles after beth thought she killed rio in 2x13.

she has sex with dean on-screen in 3x03 and tries to seduce him again in 3x07 (? not 100% sure, but around that time).

in 3x11/4x01, she and dean are starting a new family business together. yes, she’s lying to dean about rio’s involvement, but that is neither here nor there. she doesn’t actually seem particularly happy about rio’s involvement and the fact that she calls dean an idiot doesn’t take away from the fact that to him she’s taking a new chance on him.

in 4x02, dean snuggles her, so they’re clearly still sleeping in the same bed (this shift initially happens during the s2-s3 time jump).

in 4x05, she gets dean out of jail.

in 4x06, i’m pretty sure we see dean in the bedroom again and then after hooking up with rio she tells him what’s going on with the secret service (which, imo, is a very stupid idea but especially so bc they did it within earshot of the kids)

based on this, i think beth and dean are together in 4x06. therefore, her having sex with rio this time around is cheating. 

now, onto the most important part: do i care?

i mean, the whole reason i was thinking about this so much was because of it’s relation to how much tv/movies/books glamorise cheating. it’s ok because the significant other is a cheater too, because they’re an asshole, because they’re just plain boring and it’s clear that the character cheating is actually in love with the character they’re cheating with, so poor significant other but what could you expect? which, you know, sucks. i mean, i remember how much rory cheating on her boyfriend in a year in the life (among other things, they did her no favours in the revival) made me dislike her. i mean, she forgot the poor guy even existed!! but, you know what, i’m gonna side with the media on this one. hypocritical of me, i know, but i just hate dean that much. i hope beth divorces him soon and in the mean time i’m glad he got cheated on because he deserves it :)