#and it only lasted six months before i couldn’t take it anymore and quit on the spot

[pleaseexcusemylameness]

i’m finally employed and i had to take two sick days my first week. incredible timing. i’m trying not to let the anxiety from having a full time job i’m confident i’ll hate and eat me alive. i’m hoping tomorrow and friday will be better than monday was. it was literally so boring i did basically nothing all day while feeling my sickness come on and my body hurt so bad. i was so uncomfortable. also they won’t let me wear earbuds which i think is a hate crime. this is a desk job bro i will either die of boredom or constantly zone out and not get work done if you do this to me. also i have to wear a corporate costume and take all of my jewelry out of my head. i’m also not allowed to show my tattoos so i have to wear long sleeves at all times. idk why it fucking matters i’ll never get it. let people do whatever it takes to get their job done well and efficiently. stop trying to suck my soul. also i’m being payed jack shit which sucks already but they also make me pay for fucking parking. it’ll be like 225 bucks a month. they gave me like 75 bucks a month for parking and i’m like ??? that will cover literally one week. i’m trying not to be too annoying or ungrateful because i have had zero income for almost an entire year but it’s making me sick. LMAO literally.

[seongsgirl]

— your girl.

; no smut in this, but my blog is nsfw, so please, mdni.

— I dedicate this work to @starryjake <3 me and jake love you so much.

You laid flat on your bed, eyes fixated on the tiny glow in the dark stars that you insisted that Jake help you stick to your ceiling. They glew dimly in the dark, not getting enough sunlight during the day to make the glow to their full capacity; it didn’t help that you had the curtains drawn closed all day. 

The room was dark, not feeling like getting up to turn the light on and opting to sit in the dark, the only light coming from the sticky stars and the little sliver of light peeking through the crack in your doorframe that shone from the hallway. 

You sighed softly and turned to your side, eyes landing on the framed picture of you and Jake on your desk. He was slightly crouched and your chin rested on top of his head, both of you adorning the cheesiest smiles you have ever wore. Jake’s glasses were slightly crooked and his cheeks were tinted red, much like yours. 

The photo was taken during some event that was happening on campus a little under six months ago. It was one of the happiest moments of your life and you silently thank Jungwon daily for capturing that moment perfectly. 

Then again, any moment you spent with Jake was a happy one. He knew just what to say every time you needed reassurance, knew the perfect remedies for a broken heart when Heeseung left you with one. He knew things about you that you didn’t even know about yourself, he knew everything and more. 

Jake was essentially everything you have ever dreamed about, the person you always dreamed of being with. And you were with him, but not in the way you truly wanted. He was just your best friend and roommate, nothing more, nothing less.

And that made falling in love with him even harder to deal with.

You sighed again and rolled over to your back again, looking at the stars. They began to dim even more, losing their charge as the night progressed. It reminded you a lot of yourself and your current state. You were so bright, so full of energy and ready to show the world what you are capable of. But something shifted within the last few months, and your spark was dulling. Nothing quite felt the same anymore, and you didn’t know what was changing, but something was.

Maybe it was the unrequited love and stress of masking it for so long.

You took a deep breath before looking over at your desk again, searching for your desk clock. The digital clock read nine-thirty and you mentally prepared to see Jake any second now. It was a Saturday night, your usual night to spend with Jake in the living room, a movie on the television and snacks and drinks littering the coffee table as you both caught up with each other from the events that occurred over the week. But you really couldn’t be bothered to partake in the weekly ritual tonight. 

Almost like clockwork, you hear a faint knock on your door and a familiar voice saying your name. You didn’t respond.

There was another quiet knock before the door slowly creaked open. The hallway light shone brightly in your bedroom and burned your eyes, groaning as you clamped them shut. 

“Y/n?” Jake says slowly, as if he’s scared. You slowly open your eyes and look at the boy standing in your doorframe, his head tilted like a puppy. 

“Sorry, Jake.” you started, a puzzling look taking over the boy’s face. “I don’t think I’ll do movie night tonight.” you mumbled.

Jake took a couple cautious steps into your room. It wasn’t like you to skip movie night, in fact, you’ve never skipped one in the entire two and a half years that you two lived together. Jake licked his bottom lip before speaking. “Is everything…are you okay?”

You chuckled. “Not really.”

You could practically hear Jake’s heart shatter in his chest. There you were, his best friend in the entire universe, laying in a dark room while blankly staring at the ceiling and he had no idea you weren’t okay. 

You heard Jake take in a breath before shuffling through your room and sitting on the foot of your bed, your head close to his thigh. You looked over at him to see him already looking down at you. His hair was scruffy and he had his glasses on, really bringing together his nerdy boy image. His eyes were full of worry, yours full of nothing. 

And you both sat there, looking into each other’s eyes in silence for a moment before you turned your attention back to the now dim star stickers. 

“What do you do when you love someone, but they don’t love you back?” you said abruptly, breaking the silence.

Jake looked back over at you, eyes slightly wide. “Huh?”

A sad smile crept onto your lips. “You know what I’m talking about, Jake.” you turned back to him, “When you feel like you can’t love someone even more than you already do, but you know that those feelings aren’t reciprocated. How does someone get closure with something like that?”

Jake’s eyes turned glossy, and his lips scrunched to one side of his face. “I-I don’t know…” he said softly. “I wish I did, because I know exactly how you’re feeling.” Jake put a soft hand on yours that rested on your stomach. 

You sighed. “It hurts, knowing that he’s exactly who I always dreamed about but knowing that he’ll never love me the way I do with him.”

“Do I know him?” Jake asked.

Your lips fell into a straight line. “Yeah, you do.”

Jake hums, acknowledging your response. “Well, I hope he finally sees what’s in front of him and stops being stupid.”

You chuckle softly. “I hope your girl realizes that, too.” and silence falls upon you both again. 

Minutes feel like hours and years before you speak again. 

��Jake,” you mumbled, not letting your vision stray from the stars, but you see Jake shift to look at you in your peripheral. “That’s his name.”

You hear Jake’s breath catch in his throat and you feel your eyes glaze with tears, a single one slipping out and falling down your face. 

“Y/n…” Jake whispers, taking his thumb and wiping away the stray tear. “That’s her name.”

And suddenly the ever growing pit in your stomach doesn't feel as big.

You look over at Jake, and he’s still looking at you. You sit up and come face to face with him. Jake’s hands come up to your cheeks, holding your face gently, and you melt into his touch. 

“I’m sorry I never told you…” Jake whispers, your noses brushing and foreheads pressed together. “Me too,” you reply, your lips ghosting over his. 

“I’ve always wanted you to be my girl. From the day I met you, I knew I had to do whatever it took to get you.” his thumb brushed your cheek.

“Jake,” you press your lips to his softly and you feel him immediately melt into the kiss. You broke away and looked at him with a soft smile. 

“I’ve always been your girl.”

[reiderwriter]

The Us That Could Have Been

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female BAU Reader

Requested: yes - role reversal of the player!Spencer fic I posted here!

W/C: 5.7k

Summary: They say if you want to get over one man, you have to get under another. Spencer isn't so sure why he dislikes the idea of you doing that quite so much.

Warnings: Mentions of Maeve, spoilers for S8, mentions of minor character deaths, smut, unprotected sex, creampie, angst.

A/N: I'm not going to apologise for this one... Have fun.

Find the rest of my masterlist here.

If you were a genius, you’d know that it took you three hours, twenty-three minutes, and six seconds to fall in love with Spencer Reid. If you were a genius, you’d also know that it took him five years, seven months, twenty-seven days, and two hours to the second for him to break your heart. The thing you were learning about geniuses though, is that they were the most oblivious people on the planet. 

Her name was Maeve, he had told all of you. And he needed your help to save her because he was in love with her. And of course, you went along with it, you tried your best even while your heart was cracked in two because at this point, you couldn’t stand the desperation on his face. The day he told you about her, only days before he died, you cried in the arms of Penelope Garcia for hours, letting her console you as you felt your world get flipped upside down. 

“I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, god, Penelope. Five years, and I knew, I knew that if he liked me like that something would have happened already, but I just…” She rubbed your back as you laid your head on her shoulder, letting your tears fall freely as the sobs wracked through your body. 

“I’ve been in love with him for five years and he never even noticed, and… Penelope he hasn’t seen this girl before and he’s desperate for her. What about me is so unlovable?” Your voice cracked as you broke down again, burying your head in your friend's arms as you let all the emotions hit you at once. 

“Y/N you listen to me right now. You are not unlovable, you have never been unlovable. If Spencer cannot see what is right in front of him, then he is an idiot. You are the most amazing thing that has happened to him, you’re a great friend, you’re smart, you’re beautiful-” 

“I’m not her. Penelope, I… I want to be her-” She held you as you emptied yourself for hours, crying until you were so physically exhausted that you just couldn’t anymore. You couldn’t say that you stopped crying per se, just that your body ran out of emotions to sustain you. 

“Okay, Y/N, here’s what you’re going to do now,” Penelope said. She’d heard you out for long enough, but she wasn’t going to let you be miserable for long. 

“You’re going to pick yourself up, take care of yourself. Get a haircut, dye your hair, whatever you need to do to get some change. And then you’re going to do your goddamn best to forget him, because if he’s too stupid to realize how special and amazing you are then he really doesn’t deserve you.” You sniffled a bit and nodded at her words. 

“And then, you’re going to get back out there. Y/N, when was the last time you went on a date?” 

“I don’t know it’s been… The last one I can remember was before I entered the BAU. I’ve just been so busy-” 

“Bullshit. You’re going to put yourself back out there and find a man, or multiple men, who actually value you and want you. A wise scholar once said the best way to get over a man is to get under another.” 

–X–

A year later and you’d probably taken Penelope’s words to heart a little bit too much. Maeve had died at the hands of her stalker not even a day later, and you felt terrible for Spencer, but he’d pushed you away, he’d pushed everyone away, so you’d decided she was right. 

Your first date had been a few weeks later, and you’d have liked the fact that you’d taken him back to your place and then immediately kicked him out and never seen him again after that to stay a secret. But the BAU copycat didn’t let any of your business stay within the team for long. He had pictures of you with the first guy, the guy from a week later, and the guy after him as well. By the time you’d figured out who the copycat murderer who’d sent you all Zugzwang-themed threats was, he’d got pictures of you locking lips with five separate one-night stands.

The team had said nothing about it, of course, except Hotch’s private aside asking if any of the men in the pictures needed informing about the situation. You’d had to admit to them that you’d not seen any of them since, and, with no reaction from Spencer, you’d felt almost vindicated in taking this step. 

If he didn’t care then, in those tense months where you were all leaning on each other for support, reeling from the death of Erin Strauss and the attacks on the team, closer than you’d really ever been before, then he wouldn’t ever care. 

The thought was freeing. So you’d kept up with your constant stream of men, not letting them get close enough to hurt you in the way that Spencer had, using them and discarding them like broken toys, ignoring that maybe it was you that was the broken one. 

It took a year for him to notice it. A year of you coming in with suspicious bruises on your neck that you laughed off, a year of your newfound confidence, a year of your conscious distance for him to notice that he missed you. It was slow at first. In those first few months, he just accepted that of course, you’d been seeing people. He’d assumed from the photographs everyone had seen that you’d been dating the entire time he’d known you, the feeling unsettling him a little, but he thought that was only because he’d never noticed. 

Now it was all he could notice. The way you’d walk in sometimes smelling unfamiliar, having showered at a hookup's place before taking off, the way you were suddenly open to the flirting by the local PDs on your cases. The way a sadness seeped into his chest every time he saw you with someone else. Envy wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with, so it took him stupidly long to name the emotion. 

You were back at O’Keefe’s after a local case successfully closed, and if you were drinking a lot, no one mentioned it. No one except Spencer, who’d made it his objective to keep you safe and by his side the entire night, for reasons he couldn’t even name. It was stifling, having him constantly hovering over you. 

“Spencer, lighten up a bit, have a drink.” You smiled up at him, trying to get him to loosen up so you could escape the way his sudden care was making you feel. The bartender was eyeing you up from his place behind the bar, and while you were usually careful not to get involved with men whom you’d likely run across again, you were throwing caution to the wind that day. 

“I’ll have a drink if you drink some water and slow down a bit, Y/N.” He handed you the glass he’d retrieved earlier and you sipped it slowly, squirming under the care in his gaze. He ordered a drink, and you eyed up the bartender as he did so, pushing Spencer’s hand off your hip as he approached, offering him a smile. He looked between you and the unfamiliar man, and felt a cold flash in his veins, waiting for his drink and then pulling you away back to the table with the rest of your friends, tangling your hand with his. 

You pulled out of his grip but followed him dutifully. He guided you into your seat quickly, brushing your hair out of your eyes before falling back into conversation with the rest of the team. You hated the way he could still make your heart stutter, still have you feeling hot all over from a single touch, and you felt trapped in the booth, screaming for a way out. 

Your chance came an hour later, when he excused himself to the bathroom, and you excused yourself as well, running back up to the bar. When he came back, you were gone.

“Where is Y/N?” He asked with a scowl, cursing himself for letting his eyes off you for even a second when you’d drank so much that night, having come back to suggest you turn in for the night, getting ready to offer you a ride home. 

“Y/N? By now, she’s either in the back room with the bartender or she’s convinced him to get off early and head back to hers,” Morgan chuckled, taking a swig of his drink. “Took her only two minutes of conversation to have him inviting her out the back entrance, she’s been gone for like five minutes now. 

The constricted feeling settled in his chest again, as his scowl deepened. Not knowing why he was feeling so goddamn destroyed by that statement, he let his head hang and left the bar himself, taking himself outside to get in his car and go home. Unbeknownst to him, you watched him leave from the alley behind the bar, the bartender placing open-mouthed kisses on your exposed neck as you buried your worryingly consistent feelings in the scent of bourbon and lust. 

The next week is rough for both of you. You laugh and play along with Morgan’s jokes about your game, keeping an eye out for him the entire time and ending all the conversations as you feel him enter the room or step closer. It doesn’t stop him from hearing it all, though, all the details about your sex life tormenting him, as he boils with anger at how wreckless you’re being with your constant stream of guys. 

“Mama, you were on fire last week. Took you only two minutes to disappear with that guy, you’re going to have to let me in on your secrets,” Morgan laughed from his perch on your desk. 

“Sorry, a magician never reveals her secrets, and what I do is definitely magic.” Your tone was suggestive and set the man off in a booming laugh, but with your back to the door, you hadn’t heard Spencer’s entrance. 

“The secret is that men are more accepting of casual hook-ups with strangers than women,” he snapped at you both, beginning to ramble as you both looked up at him in shock. 

“Okay, kid, I was just joking-”

“When surveyed over 75% of men said they would be willing to have sex with a complete stranger, vs. 0% of women, and while that’s just one study, there are multiple others that I could quote that have similar results.” 

“Spencer,” you chastised him, but he didn’t stop.

“What? Did you want to know when posing the question of an affair to people in a relationship that 18% of men reacted positively to having casual sex with a stranger, and surprisingly 4% of women also reacted in the affirmative? Did you ask that guy if he had a girlfriend before you fell into his bed, Y/N?” 

“Okay, that’s enough, Spencer, take a walk. I don’t know what’s up with you today, but that was out of line. Hotch is looking for you in his office.” The words came from Morgan, but he kept his eyes locked with yours as he was scolded, memorizing the look of pain in your eyes as he finally backed away. 

He didn’t know why he did it. He knew it would hurt you, and yet he continued anyway, even after you’d begged him to stop. He was hurt, and he didn’t know why, and he didn’t think he had any reason to be hurt, and somehow it was all because you’d been in the back of his mind constantly for as long as he could remember. 

–X– 

“Okay, girl’s night, my place, tomorrow night. There are no cases, and I managed to get Hotch to agree to let us put our phones on silent for the night, so it’s just me, you, JJ, and Blake, a bottle of wine and some good old-fashioned girl talk, what do you say?” Penelope asked you gleefully in the break room one day as you both prepared your drinks for a busy day of paperwork ahead. 

“I’m sorry, Pen, I have plans already.” You grinned up at her as she pouted, promising to make it up to her another time. You didn’t offer an explanation though, just excusing yourself back to your desk and letting her know that you’d make it up to her another time. 

Reid took your place as soon as you vacated it. Almost obsessively, he’d been following you around like a lost puppy since he’d exploded on you the other day. 

“I know you said girls’ night but… Could... Could I come? I think I need some uh, girl talk?” He asked Penelope, an awkward, embarrassed look on his face as he smiled tensely. If anyone knew what was wrong with him, recently, it would be them. 

Last year, he’d have said it was you, but the distance he’d felt recently, combined with the fact that he was almost 90% sure you were the root of his problems had him desperate for other opinions. 

“Oh. Are you sure, Spencer, we’ll be talking about all kinds of gross women stuff?” 

“I was raised by a single mother. I’m sure nothing you say could gross me out. Please?” She nodded her approval telling him what time to get there and to bring his beverage of choice, knowing he didn’t really drink wine all that much if he could help it. 

He turned up twenty minutes late, after spending a great deal of time pacing outside of Penelope’s apartment building wondering if he had any right to unburden himself on them like this. Pacing he wondered whether you’d actually showed up despite your mysterious plans and whether this had been all for naught anyway. 

When he eventually knocked on the door, Penelope opened it and greeted him with a warm hug. “We were wondering when you were going to knock on the door, one more minute and we were going to come out to get you.” 

JJ stood up to hug him, wine glass in her hand, and Blake offered him a wave from her perch on the couch. He took off his scarf and coat and accepted the glass of water Penelope offered him, settling into a chair opposite the three women. 

“Penelope said you wanted advice about something?” Blake was the first to enquire, the three of them getting straight into it, not letting him chicken out of it. 

“Yeah, I think so. Lately, I’ve been having these, I don’t know, weird feelings…” 

“Oh god, I thought I was a few years out from having the talk with someone,” JJ joked, but Penelope shushed her quickly after a quick snicker, letting him continue. 

“I’ve been… I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been acting really weird around Y/N, and I can’t figure out why.” He finally pushed the words out, feeling a weight off his chest at the confession. 

“You can’t?” The room was silent for a minute as they looked at each other, and he looked at them looking at each other, wondering what it was exactly that he’d missed. 

“Yeah? I don’t know, every time I see her I just want to, I don’t know, have her attention on me, even if I have to say something a little mean to get it. And in the bar that time, I was so, I don’t know hurt, I guess, when she disappeared without saying goodbye.” 

They just listened to him go on, not stopping to interrupt him, so he continued. 

“And there’s been this weird distance between us lately, and I guess it’s been there for a while, but I miss her, but she’s still there. I can still talk to her, and I can still spend time with her but I miss her all the time.”

“Spencer,” Blake said with a soft voice. “Since when have you been feeling like this?” 

“I don’t know, I guess it started after everything happened with Strauss and the copycat in New York. But she’s always been… I don’t know, closer than most people? But every time I think we’re getting back to normal recently, she pulls away again and there’s this… void where she should be.”

JJ put her drink down and leaned a little closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“Spencer, I think you might be in love with her.” He considered the words for a moment, before getting ready to dismiss them. 

“No, love is a good emotion, this doesn’t feel good, it feels… ugly.” Blake stared at him sympathetically, calmly talking him around. 

“Spencer, think about it. You’re protective over her, you don’t like seeing her with other people, this all started right around the time the copycat sent those pictures of her with other people. It is love, and it’s jealousy, too.” 

The words hit him like a tonne of bricks as he suddenly felt the full force of his words. He was in love with you. 

“Oh god, what do I do?” He held his head in his hands, and Penelope scoffed a little from her seat, the rest of them turning to look at him.  

“I’m sorry, you’re going to have to figure this one out on your own genius.” She said with a slightly sharp tone, and even the girls sent her questioning stares as she continued. 

“You don’t just get to decide that you want her after all this time, not after how you’ve been treating her these last few months.” She turns her head away a little bit and sips her drink, her tough-love approach leaving him slightly defeated.  

“Penelope, do you know something?” Blake asks firmly, trying to coax some answers out of her. 

“If I did, I’d be under a strict oath not to tell anyone. And I wouldn’t want to considering how much pain she was in when she made me swear never to tell anyone.” It was clear from the tone of her voice that she really wanted to say something though, the words desperate to spill out. 

“Penelope, your loyalty is commendable, but don’t you think what you have to say could help both of them?” JJ quietly coaxed out of her, and she finally gave in. 

“Okay, but if you hurt her, Spencer Reid, I will never forgive you ever again.” He nodded quickly, hanging onto her every word. 

“Think about what else happened a year ago.” She encouraged him, and for a moment, he was coming up blank.  

“A year ago? We were in the middle of the copycat case. Strauss had just been killed. We were close to being pulled off the case-” 

“You got a girlfriend, Spencer. You came in one day out of the blue and just announced that you were in love with someone you hadn’t met, and you didn’t realize that you were torturing her.” Penelope tried really hard not to snap at him, but his ignorance of your feelings was frustrating, to say the least.  

“What Penelope is trying to say, Spencer, is that we think Y/N was in love with you, too,” JJ added, softening the blow. “And finding out you didn’t feel the same way so suddenly was, well it was a shock to all of us really.”

“What Penelope is trying to say is that she spent six hours with me crying into this couch, and then picked herself up and helped you try to save the woman you had chosen over her. So yeah, she’s been a bit distant, but can you really blame her?” 

“She… She was in love with me?” His heart stopped for a second, dropping to the pit of his stomach as he thought back to those days, how you’d acted around him, the smiles that hadn’t reached your eyes, the reassurances that he’d brushed off, so desperate to help Maeve. 

“Honestly, until you told us about Maeve, I thought you two had something going on,” Blake added. 

“We used to have an office bet when Emily was around about which of the two of you would confess first,” JJ admitted shyly. 

“Oh, god.” He let his head hang a little in shame. “Do you… do you think she still feels the same?” 

They shared another glance at each other again, and he panicked trying desperately to decode whatever it was that had just passed between them. 

“Look, we shouldn’t profile each other but… It’s not a coincidence that all of her hookups tend to happen after you pay her some attention.” Blake observed, letting Reid fill in the blanks of her statement.

“That might be my fault actually, I told her the best way to get over you is to get under someone else.” 

“I don’t want her under someone else,” he stated then, cutting himself off before he could say anything else too damning.  

“She’s not here tonight, why isn’t she here?” He panicked looking frantically around the room for answers, but none of them knew really.  

“She said she had plans, but she didn’t tell me what they are.” 

“Do you think she’s… do you think she’s with…” He couldn’t finish the thought, instead bolting upright and gathering his things. 

“I need to go.” He let out, as the women cheered behind him, finally happy that he was taking action. Penelope shouted your address at him as he left as if he didn’t already have it memorized, running out in the rain, his feet carrying him to your apartment.  

He saw the light on when he approached, thankful that you were still there, and bounded up the stairs to your floor, not giving himself time to second guess this before he pounded on your door.  

You pulled the door open, a confused look on your face as you greeted him, his chest heaving, water dripping down his face. He looked like a mess. 

“Are you alone?” He gasped out, having to pause between each word to catch his breath.  

“Spencer, what are you doing-” The breath left your body as he leaned into you, catching you around the hips and walking you back into your apartment, your back hitting the wall behind you as he rested his forehead against your own, chest still desperately drawing in oxygen. 

“Please, please tell me right now if there’s someone here with you. If there is, I’ll leave, if there isn’t…” His gaze fell to your lips and your entire body lit up, the haze of your confusion finally lifting as you took in each of his words. His lips moved forward, seconds from connecting with your own when his question was finally answered.  

“Y/N? Who is it?” The voice was male, and it was coming from your living room, but it was all Spencer needed to know as he detangled himself from you, pushing his wet hair out of his face and putting some distance between you two, muttering apologies as he backed out of the door again. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… I’m sorry,” he said, quickly turning away from you and leaving your apartment quickly. 

“Spencer, wait-” You tried to yell after him, but it was too late. He had disappeared into the night, as quickly as he came. 

You returned to the living room, cursing yourself for not answering quickly enough as you crawled back into the seat you’d just left. 

“What was all that?” Your brother asked from his perch, shoveling popcorn into his mouth in a way that had you somehow even more pissed at him for the simple fact of his existence.  

“That was Spencer. He… God, I think he thinks I’m in here with a guy.” 

–X– 

The next few days at work were tense, as you desperately tried everything to catch his eye. But you weren’t sure why you were putting in so much effort. He was the one who had burst into your apartment and practically begged you for your attention, why were you now the one chasing him?

Needless to say, you took your frustrations straight to Penelope Monday morning. 

“And then he left without letting me explain that it was my brother, and he hasn’t talked to me once this morning, he keeps running away from me and I don’t even know what the fuck it was he was trying to gain from all that and- ughh he is so dense.”

Penelope had sensed the oncoming disaster the moment she’d seen your social media post about your brother’s visit Saturday morning, and you only confirmed all her fears as you unloaded onto her. She silently cursed Spencer as well, and once she’d given you some reassurance and reminded you that you had some case files on your desk that were urgent and distracting enough to calm you down, she practically lept from her seat to hunt Reid down.  

“Spencer Reid, you get your ass in my office right this second,” she whisper screamed at him in the breakroom, his sunken eyes showing that his jump to conclusions had left him in a poor emotional state. He jolted at her words, as she watched to see if you noticed the two of them before practically frog-marching him off down the hall.  

“What the hell happened? We sent you off to confess your feelings, and you what? Pin her to the wall and breathe down her neck before running off with your tail between your legs?” 

He looked down guiltily before replying. “She had a guy there, Penelope, I didn’t want to… I didn’t want to get rejected like that.” 

“She did not have a guy there, Spencer, she had her brother there.” She pulled up your post on her phone and thrust it in his face as she watched his eyes go wide at his own stupidity, clutching the phone as he read your words.  

“And if you weren’t a coward, you’d have stayed and told her even if she did actually have someone over.” 

He’d since tuned out her words though, the crushing weight of his almost-confession that had been stuck to him since the weekend dissipating slowly. 

“This is her brother?” He looked up at you again, desperate to confirm the words she’d already said. 

“Yes. You’d know that if you weren’t such a technophobic freak. I love you but this is the 21st Century and you’re an idiot.” 

“Yeah, I am.” He handed her the phone back and slunk out of the office, and back to his desk. He had a chance to try again, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up this time. 

–X– 

You didn’t know how you knew that night, but when you heard the knock at your door, you knew it was him. 

You hesitated before reaching for the door handle, pulling it open, and confirming your suspicions. 

“Hi.” You said, and he returned the greeting with a mumble of his own before the two of you fell into silence again. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else, but couldn’t, instead letting his gaze fall to your lips. You heard the hidden question in his look and opened the door a little wider. 

It took only a moment for him to come crashing into you, hands holding your face as his lips met yours in a passionate embrace, drinking you in as again walked you back into your apartment, not even breaking away as he closed the door behind you.  

You wrapped your arms up and around his neck, as you let his hands fall to your hips, your chest, your ass, exploring every part of your body he could reach as you stood caught up in each other. In your desperation for each other, you hit walls, and bumped into tables, finally stopping at your kitchen island as he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he started pressing kisses down the hollow of your neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered between kisses. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was your brother and I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, and I’m sorry I’ve been so weird recently.” You pulled his face back up to your own claiming his lips in yours once again, swallowing each of his other apologies. 

He pulled away again, looking at you tenderly as he lifted you into his arms and gently carried you into your room, laying you down on your bed. 

“I love you,” he whispered, and the words broke you. You’d spent five years practically begging him to say them, and another year since trying to bury even the very idea of him feeling the same way deep inside you. Tears fell from your eyes and he kissed each one of them away, muttering confessions into your skin. 

“I love you, please don’t cry.” 

“I love you, you’re so beautiful.” 

“I love you and I’m so so sorry.” You pushed him away again slightly, regaining enough of your composure to finally talk again. 

“I need to know that you’re serious, Spencer. I can’t… I can’t do this if you’re not totally sure, because it will destroy me.” Your voice broke as the words stumbled over the knot in your throat, your hands balled into his shirt, legs still wrapped around him. 

“I’m serious. I don’t want to hurt you ever again.” He pressed his lips back into yours again, and you let the kiss deepen, lips slanting over each other in desperation as the need to be joined overtook your body. 

He lifted your skirt, trailing a hand between the two of you as he checked your arousal. You could feel his cock pressing into your thigh, desperate to be freed from it’s restraints. He began kissing his way down your naval, but you pulled him back up.  

“No, I need you now. There will be time for that later, but if you don’t do this now I think I’ll drive myself mad with wanting.” His lips reconnected with yours again as you began divesting yourselves of clothing, and within another two minutes, he was pressing into you, muttering more adoring serenades into your skin as he began catching the tears escaping your eyes again. 

“Yes, Spencer, more please,” you moaned underneath him, legs tight around him as he began thrusting into you with a ferocity you hadn’t felt from him before. It was tender, but you were both desperate, after months of separation, to come back into one another. 

Your lips and teeth clashed together as you let the room echo with your moans, his moans, and the sound of your skin slapping against each other. His forehead came to rest against your own as he grew closer to his release, lips disconnecting as you just stared into each other's eyes in that moment, seeing each other truly for the very first time. 

“Y/N, I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum.” He pressed down into you harder, looking down to the place where you were joined and letting out a whispered curse as he watched you take every inch of him. His hips stuttered then, and you felt your own climax reach you as you felt him release into you, his lips softly tracing your own as you breathed each other in again. 

He pulled out and immediately went to work making sure you were comfortable, propping you up on the bed, making sure the pillows behind you were plump and soft, and running off to find something to clean yourself up with. You watched him silently, again brushing some of the tears from your eyes. 

“How do you feel?” He said shyly as he returned, having pulled his pants back on at least as he bought you a glass of water. You offered him a small smile and a thank you as you replied. 

“I think… I think we need to talk, Spencer.” You said, not meeting his eyes as he looked down at you attentively. 

“Why did you come tonight, Spencer?” You asked, voice so quiet you resisted the urge to repeat the question, knowing that he heard you perfectly clearly, 

“I needed to tell you how I feel. It’s been staring me in the face for six years, and I somehow didn’t know, but once I did I just… I needed you to know.” You nodded at his words, standing still in front of you on the bed as you swung your legs off and asked him to pass you your nightdress back. You pulled it on over your head as you asked him your next question. 

“Why did you run away the other day?” 

“I didn’t know it was your brother, Y/N, I should’ve-”

“It shouldn’t have mattered who it was. If you love me, you should fight for me, right? The way you fought for Maeve.” Your tears start falling again as you open the wound that brought you this far. 

“Y/N, that was… That was different-” You can hear the panic in his voice as he tries to come up with the words to explain himself. 

“Spencer, if.. If it’s different then I think you should leave. If you don’t love me the same way you loved her, then there’s no point starting something.” 

“Y/N, please.” 

“No, Spencer. I have spent six years of my life filled with nothing but love for you. I wake up and think about you, I go to bed and you’re still there in the back of my mind. My every action is informed by your presence and I am so, so tired. So if you do not feel the same way, you need to turn around and leave this apartment.” 

The silence between you is thick, as you stare up at him through your tears, face stern as you push him away. 

He gathers his things. Moves towards the door and doesn’t say anything, and just as you’re about to break down, to let the sob burst from your chest in an agonized wail, you hear your front door close behind him, and you’re left alone in the empty apartment, stuck in the purgatory of your love for him, unable to move an inch. 

[eand47]

Chapter VI | Cakes and Alleyways

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: major age gap!, explicit language, use of nicotine/cigarettes, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs, !mentions of being SPIKED!, mentions of (sexual) harassment, mentions of physical violence, mentions of blood, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Word Count: 19,7K

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NOTE: First I’m sorry that the chapter took so long but at least it is quite long. Second: PLEASE TAKE GOOD LOOK AT THE WARNINGS AS I DON’T WANT TO TRIGGER SOMETHING TRAUMATIC IN ANY OF YOU!!!! Also I can't believe it has been one month since I started the fic, thank you all for reading and supporting it ♡ I hope that you guys enjoy it ♡

Snow was covering every roof and street in the Grand Line city. December came and so did the snow. Christmas lights were already lighting up the streets. The weather was getting colder with every passing day. I caught myself counting the days in the past two weeks. To be exact twelve days. Twelve days since I last saw Ace and I was not sure if I wanted to see him again. Five days ago, I couldn’t take the silence anymore and texted him, asking if I did something wrong or offended him somehow. Six days later still no response. Not even marked as read. I was trying to distract myself in every possible way, but he was still finding his way to my mind at least once a day. I felt so confused – confused, offended and hurt. Why? Why being all friendly and nice with me only to turn ice-cold and pretend like I didn’t exist the next day? I didn’t want to think about Ace, but I couldn’t. Even thought I was busy with shooting the sort-cut projects and editing them after, still even after all that stress the thing that bothered me the most was his absence. It was simply not fair. I did not deserve this attitude from him.

They released the music video a week ago. It already had one hundred sixty thousand views and growing in the span of a week, which for a first video was quite successful. All the guys found a way to contact me and thanked me for the video, all except Ace. And that added to the pain I was feeling. I would never do such thing to a friend. But he never saw me as one. At this point I was wondering what he saw me as?

I tried to shake away the thoughts and get ready to go out for a lunch with Shanks. I haven’t seen him in almost two months. We only talked on the phone a few times. On top of it I have barely spoken with my dad, and I felt so bad for it but also, I was starting to miss him a lot. I couldn’t wait for the Christmas break as I needed it both physically and mentally. I received a text from Shanks that he was waiting for me downstairs, so I put on my jacket and boots and ran outside. He had parked his red 4x4 jeep in front of my apartment building, waiting for me inside. I opened the door, and he greeted me with a big smile.

“How is my Foxy doing?” He ruffled my hair before turning on the car.

“Shanks.” I giggled as I tried to fix my hair. “I’m good, how is my favourite uncle doing?”

“Oh, what do you want your sneaky fox?” His eyes quickly glanced at me as we stopped at a red light.

“Nothing. Why would I be wanting anything from you?” I looked surprised at him.

“You call me your ‘favourite uncle’ only when you want something.” He snorted.

“Not this time. I just missed you.” I gave him half shrug. Shanks chuckled and patted me on the shoulder. After twenty minutes drive we arrived at the restaurant where Shanks had made reservation for us to have a lunch. The place was quite new. It was a top floor restaurant, decorated with flowers all around but the best part was the celling, which was entire made of glass. I have never been here before but the moment they seated us down and I looked at the menu I already fell in love with the place. The waiter came and took our order. We thanked him and handed back the menus.

“How is school going Foxy?” Shanks asked me while pouring some water in my glass.

“University, Shanks.” I corrected him. “It’s going pretty well. I must show you the movie I directed and wrote script for. I think I did pretty well.” I tossed my hair on the side a bit, bragging about my little accomplishment.

“I’m sure it will be the best one Foxy.” He smiled proudly at me. “A little bird told me that you also directed a music video.” Shanks raised his eyebrow knowingly, propping his elbows on the table and crossing his fingers under his chin. I hummed in response and nodded my head slightly. “Just a ‘mhm’?”

“What else am I supposed to say?”  

“I don’t know, but that was a big deal. And the video was pretty good, Luffy showed it to me.” His eyes were studying my face before he continued. “I also heard that Ace asked you to film it. Wanna say something about that?” His tone was light, but his gaze was stern.

“We met accidently while I was working on my film and he read the script, liked it, saw potential in me and asked me if I could do it.” I explained quick trying to brush off the topic.

“Of course he saw the potential, Ace is not stupid. But still don’t let him get in your head.” Shanks gave me another stern look.

“Shanks what is your problem with Ace?” I whined as I was tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. After all I’m not twelve and I have enough brains to know what would be good or bad for me.

“I don’t have problem with Ace, as long as there is nothing between you two.” Now his voice was also stern. “Ace is a good guy. I know the kid for a long time. He used to be problematic tho, but this is not important now. What is important for you, is to understand that guys like Ace hit and dip. What you want to be one of the many?” He snorted. “I don’t think so Foxy, so before you get your delusions broken use this brain of yours and u-“ His speech was interrupted by the waiter who came and served the food we ordered. I thanked him with a smile before I turn my attention back to Shanks as I gave him annoyed glance.

“Don’t you dare giving me that look.” He pointed his finger towards me. “Again, he is a good guy, but he is also very troublesome. So, case close.” His tone was low but warning.

“No, case open Shanks.” I protested. “I’m old enough to take my own decisions with who I go out and what I do with them. If I get my ‘delusions’ broken.” I mocked him. “Then it’s on me. Plus, Ace and I are just... just... “ I couldn’t find the right word to describe what we were exactly. “We are just acquainted.” I murmured the last part. “Plus, he is a very good person Shanks, and I haven’t seen him being problematic. So, I don’t know if we are talking about the same guy.” I didn’t know why I was defending Ace when he didn’t deserve it at all. I looked down on my plate and took a bite of my food.

“Oh, so you know him better, is that so?” Shanks tone became mocking as he got pissed. “Did you know that when Ace was sixteen, he beaten a guy up so bad it almost left him disabled? And he has been sued to pay the guy indemnification for ten years in the row. And do you know how Ace was being able to pay for it? Until two years ago he was known for selling drugs and beating up people if you pay him, so even after that accident he still didn’t learn his lesson. Now he started to earn some money with music, but we will see how long this will continue.” He raised his chin and eyebrows up waiting for my response. I didn’t know how to response to this. I just lowered my gaze and slouched on my seat. “Exactly, I thought so too.” Shanks snorted at me.

“You are no better than him you know.” I couldn’t stop the words escaping my mouth. Shanks chuckled, placing his hands on the table.

“Go on, Foxy. Elaborate.” He persisted.

“You...” I took a deep breath for courage before I continue. “You used to work for Gol D Roger, you sold drugs for the biggest narco-boss ever known and you are here playing Mr. Morals for a guy who did what he had to do, as life wasn’t very fair for him to begin with.” My chest rose and fell with rapid breaths, my eyes didn’t dare to look at him. I have never talked back to Shanks. I have had this big respect towards him since I could remember, and I have never crossed my boundaries with him. I was waiting for him to start yelling or get even more angry with me but instead he laughed out loud like a maniac. Everyone in the restaurant gave us a look. I slouched even more in my chair from embarrassment. Shanks cleared his throat still laughing.

“Oh, Foxy...” He clicked with him tongue while shaking his head, sill laughing a bit. “I was planning to save you this, but you are asking for it, now with this bratty behaviour.” Shanks looked me straight in the eyes before he continued. The look on his face was scaring me. “You know how I happen to know a lot of people and by chance I knew both of Ace’s parents. And guess what, fun fact for your ‘acquaintance’” A smug smirk appeared on his face. “Wanna know his real name before he changed it a few years ago? For which, I helped by the way.” He snorted, his gaze mocking as he was waiting for me to say something.

“Gol D Ace.” My eyes widen when I heard the name. I shook my head in disbelieve. “No, don’t shake your head like that. You heard me. He is Gol D Roger biological and only son.” I was shocked by this information. It couldn’t be, it was known that Gol D Roger never had a family. “What did your opinion about Ace change now?” Shanks continued to mock me. I bit on my lip and frowned with my brows before I looked at Shanks.

“No, Shanks. It didn’t. Ace is still Ace, and I would never judge someone based on who their parents are.” I swallowed hard. “After all my mother is a junkie, I guess you are the one who needs reminder.” I leaned on the back of the chair, my arms crossed as I was waiting for his response now. Shanks looked away embarrassed and cursed under his breath.

“The difference is that you don’t go after her steps, while Ace did like his father. And even thought Roger wasn’t as bad as he was portraited by the media, he still did bad stuffs, and so did Ace.” He tried to explain this time calmer. “Again – Ace is a good kid, but he swings the wrong way easily, and he is not good enough for you. Have your friendship or whatever with him...” Shanks sighed out loudly, waving his hand dismissively as he took a sip of his water. “I don’t want to see you hurt, Foxy.” He murmured. Silence took over the table. The chatter of plates and chitchats of people around us was the only thing that could be heard. I was lost in my thoughts. What I have heard right now wouldn’t change my opinion about Ace no matter what. My opinion about him was entirely based on how he treated me. The worst part of all was that the more I was learning about Ace the more I was understanding when it came to his behaviour.

“Please, eat.” Shanks broke the silence. My appetite was long gone but I didn’t want to argue with him again, so I took a bite of my food.

“Can I know, why you chose this place? You also said you have something to tell me. I doubt you wanted to come her only to tell me all this about Ace, so what is it?” I was keeping my eyes on the plate still affected by our argument. Shanks rubbed his temples with his fingers and sighed deeply.

“Well, I have some life changing news.” I slowly raised my head to look at him when he said that. I patiently waited for him to tell me what was going on. A little smile appeared on his lips before he took a deep breath in. I waived my hand at him to spill the bean. “I’m going to be a dad.” Shanks said with a grin on his face. I covered my mouth with my hands as my jaw almost hit the floor. I was shocked to my core. Shanks nodded his head slowly, letting me take my time to process what he just told me.

“Are you for real? This better not be one of your sick jokes.” I warned him as tears of happiness started to build in my eyes.

“I’m not kiddin’, Foxy. I’m going to be a father.” He chuckled, joy and pride glistering in his eyes. I squeaked, jumping from my seat to hug Shanks. Tears of happiness were falling from my eyes as he embraced me in his hug. We shared a laugh of joy as we sat back. I couldn’t find the words to describe how happy and confused I was feeling right now.

“H-how? Wh-when?” Was all I could ask him. I grabbed the napkin on the table whipping away the tears as I tried to safe my now a bit smudged mascara. Shanks laughed again.

“Foxy I’m pretty sure you know how babies are made.” He mocked me jokingly. I rolled my eyes at his comment.

“Yes, Shanks, I’m aware. But when? And most importantly, with who?” The big grin couldn’t leave my face. I was so happy to hear this, but also curious. Shanks has never had official girlfriend or anything close to it, so my best and only guess was that it must be a one-night stand.

“Well, it’s pretty early, she is six weeks pregnant. Her name is Natasha and yeah...” He bit on his cheek. I could see that he was feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Hm, was it a ‘hit and dip’ case?” I took a bite of my food, trying to withhold the smug smile that I wanted to place on my face. The whole situation was a bit funny, knowing how Shanks was embarrassed to admit that he got some girl knocked up. He just shot me a glance, warning me not to mess with him.

“It wasn’t planned this is something I can confirm, but I was you know... seeing her from time to time.” He said a little uncomfortable.

“How old is she? Have I seen her by any chance?” I continued with the question enjoying how uncomfortable this whole situation was making him feel.

“Twenty-seven. And no, you haven’t seen her anywhere.” My jaw hit the floor again after hearing the girl’s age.

“Twenty-seven? Shanks...” I stopped myself when I saw how his face scrunched as I repeated her age. Part of me wanted to scold him due the fact that they had twenty years difference, but then again who was I to judge people. “Um, what are your plans now? Like are you going to co-parent once the baby is born or you going to try being together, or...?” I asked. The situation wasn’t fun anymore, it was a little concerning. Shanks exhaled deeply, pulling his red hair a little bit.

“We decided to not rush with any decisions of this sort for now. Plus, I want her to be calm and not worry about anything in the next nine months as it will be more hard for her than me.” He was right, her life would change drastically even before the baby was born.

“How did her parents react? Also, how is she? Is she excited or not?”

“She is very excited. When she told me the news, she even warned me that she won’t do an abortion or anything like this in case I didn’t want to step up.” I nodded understandingly at what Shanks told me. “Well, her parents... let’s say they were happy until they found out our age difference.” He chuckled awkwardly.

“Were you surprised? Imagine I come and tell you ‘Oh, Shanks I got knocked up by a man who is almost your age’. I doubt you will be thrilled.” I snorted.

“Foxy, if you come at this age to me and tell me such thing, even if the guy is your age, your dad and I will crush every part of this guy’s body.” He was joking but I knew if this did happen, they would do this. I wanted to make more jokes to annoy him but decided to keep them for myself.

“So, I will finally have a little cousin. I have always wanted to have one and spoil her with presents.” I propped my chin on my crossed fingers as I stared to daydream about all the fun I was going to have with the baby.

“Hold up, Foxy. Who said it is going to be a girl?” Shanks chuckled and raised his eyebrow.

“You know what they say Shanks, don’t you? About men who used to ‘hit and dip’ a lot.” I smirked.

“What they say, Foxy? Enlighten me.” He rubbed his chin waiting for my response as I stared to giggle.

“A man who broke a lot of hearts, is a man who will be blessed with daughter to pay for his sins.” I couldn’t stop giggling as he rolled his eyes at me.

“Bullshit. This isn’t true, look at your dad – not a single broken heart left behind him, yet your sassy ass emerged from hell.” Shanks was fast with his comeback.

“Hey, don’t talk about dad like this. He is charming... in his own unique way.” I quickly defended my father.

“Foxy, the fact that you had to define his ‘charm’ as ‘unique’ is enough to tell us everything.” His whole body was shaking from laughter.

“Does he know?”

“Of course, he does.” Shanks huffed with a smile. “He also thought that I was pranking him.” We both laughed again.

We continued with the lunch and small talks. I was really happy for Shanks. He would be an amazing father, and he had experience with raising a child. His future baby was in good hands. After all, if it wasn’t for Shanks, my dad would have struggled to raise me all by himself.

When we finished with our lunch Shanks dropped me off back home. Before I left the car we stayed and talked a little bit more.

“You need some money or something?” He asked me seriously.

“No, I’m doing pretty good now. Especially after I filmed the music video. They paid me good you know.” I winked at him as I nudged his arm. “By the way, how do you know Luffy and why haven’t you ever mentioned him to me?” I just remembered to ask him this. Till this day none of them has told me how they met or became so close that Luffy saw him as a father figure.

“This is a story for next time.” He ruffled my hair. “Go home now kid. You have lectures tomorrow.” He sternly said to me. I rolled my eyes and huffed.

“Fine.” I opened the door and got out of the car. “But one last thing.” I said before closing it. “When will I meet... Natasha was her name, right? When will I meet Natasha?” I bounced on my toes.

“Soon, I promise. Now go, Foxy and be careful with what you do.” He pointed his finger to me before I closed the door. I stuck my tongue at him and I turned around to go home. Shanks drove off after he saw me entering the building. When I got inside my apartment I started to jump and squeak around. I couldn’t wait to meet the baby and Natasha. After taking my jacket and boots off and I changed my clothes to something more comfortable, I sat on the couch and called my dad on Facetime. The moment I saw his face on my screen I screamed.

“DAD SHANKS IS GOING TO BE A FATHER.” Tears welled in my eyes again. My father laughed heartfully.

“I know, darling. Sorry for not telling you sooner, but he wanted to tell you himself.” A gentle smile was placed on his face. “I can see that you are quite excited about it.” He chuckled.

“Of course I am, are you kidding me? I have already thought of all the games I can play with the baby, and the toys I can buy for it, and uhh, I just can’t wait to hug the little bundle of joy.” I couldn’t stop babbling about it. It was not even formed as a human yet, but I already loved it. “And I told Shanks that it will be a girl, remember my word. I just sense it with my gut, this baby is going to be a girl.”

“Well at least they wouldn’t need to worry about find a babysitter as you have already volunteered.” He joked and I nodded enthusiastically. “How are you baby girl? Last time we spoke you were super stressed, everything alright now?” His tone sounded concerned.

“I’m fine dad. Now that the short-cuts are done and the music video was released, I’m just waiting for the Christmas break.”

“Oh yes, the video. I watched it yesterday again. You killed it. And it’s getting so popular.” He said excited.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that it was doing good.” I clicked with my tongue.

“Why you sound so unamused? This is a very good thing for your future as a director.” He lifted his eyebrow, immediately picking up that something wasn’t alright with me.

“Yes, I agree. But I want to be movie director not a music one.” I winked. It was true, my main goal was movies, not music videos, but it was still a good showreel for my portfolio after I graduate.

“Still, you must be happy and proud for your success, without you this video wasn’t going to be this good, I guarantee you this.” Dad insisted. Of course, he would think this after all it was something that I have created, and I was his daughter at the end of the day. “Did something happen with the boy? It’s the singer one, I remember correctly, right?” His eyebrows waggled teasing me. “He is quite charming.”

“We are just friends dad. Nothing more than friends.” I shrugged, skipping the part where I have to explain that we weren’t even friends at this point but just some acquaintances, who happened to know some quite personal traumas about each other.

“You sure about that, doll?” It was like someone splashed me with ice-cold water when I heard the nickname.

“Dad, please, I beg you from the bottom of my heart... never and I mean it never ever call me ‘doll’ again, please.” My whole face scrunched up.

“What do you mean?” He squeaked his eyes widen faking his offence.

“Just...” I rubbed my temples with my fingers. “Please, any other nickname or pet name you want, just not ‘doll’.” I cringed, knowing how Ace referred to me as a ‘doll’, the last thing I wanted was for my father to do the same, even thought they used it with very different meanings. In my father’s mind when referring to me as ‘doll’ he was remembering the times when his little girl was in fact a little girl, going around bouncing on my tiptoes and my pigtails swinging from side to side while hugging my favourite baby doll pretending to be my own baby. Now with Ace, I wasn’t sure why he was calling me ‘doll’ all the time, but it wasn’t because of the same reason my father was.

“Okay, okey.” He shook his head defeated. “Now you mind sharing with your old man what is bothering you with this young fella?” I snorted at his poor attempted to imitated British accent.

“Nothing, dad. Really, as I told you last time, I am not good with getting hints and his hints were obvious that it is just a friendship, nothing more than that.” I gave him a half smile.

“Pff, what an idiot. It’s his loss, darling.”  

“Nah, it’s okay, dad. Plus, I have more important stuff to focus on that him.” This was indeed true, but my mind was still drafting to Ace all the time. “You know, he is a fan of yours.” I smirked.

“Is he? Well, maybe he isn’t such a big idiot.” My dad chuckled and I giggled. The rest of the conversation was us catching up. Me telling him about the whole process of the short-cuts and how it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be but still stressful to film ten short movies in the span of ten days, but I was lucky enough to be in a very well organised group, so we all managed pretty good. I also shared with him how I got even more close with Nami and Usopp’s friend group and that my social circle and life here was growing. We also spoke about the upcoming holidays. Dad was planning to come here and stay over at Shanks’, and we would celebrate Christmas with him. Before we said goodbye, I told him how much I missed him, which made him go all emotional as we haven’t seen each other in almost six months, as his schedule was quite busy. He promised me that he would try his best to come a little earlier than planned so we could spend more time together, before we hung up.

The rest on the night I spent by myself doing the usual – watching movies, ordering some takeout and scrolling through my socials. When I refreshed my Instagram for a thousand time tonight, I saw the band’s profile has posted a story. I pressed on it to see it. They were announcing an upcoming performance for not this but next Saturday and that tickets were up to sell from tomorrow. A small smile appeared on my face. This was good, the guys deserved it. No matter where Ace and I stood as friends, his talent was something that no one could deny him, and the same went for the rest of the guys. They deserved the success that slowly but steady was coming in their way. I couldn’t stop myself and I opened their band account and clicked on the people they were following, which were only them four. All of them except Ace were following me. I went to his profile, and he had also posted a story. I hesitated if I should open it. He had almost five thousand people following him and I doubt he was the type to check who viewed his stories. I took a deep breath and pressed on it. There were two stories one where he had reshared the band’s account one, and the other one was a short video of him playing the guitar with a caption ‘testing some new tunes’. He had the orange beanie on top of his head but most of his face was hidden by his hair. I sighed closing the story. I hesitated again if I should follow him, but then the words ‘if he wanted to, he would’ crossed my mind. The fact that his bandmates and friends were following me, and I wasn’t even as close with them as I was with him, was enough to make me made up my mind and not follow him.

I just closed the app and laid on my bed. I was staring at the celling, thinking of what Shanks told me earlier. I knew Ace had a roughed past, but I wasn’t aware that he used to be violent. It was hard for me to imagined him being the person Shanks told me Ace used to be. But people change and Shanks said that Ace has been doing better in the past two years. The thing I was shocked by the most was that Ace was Gol D Roger’s son. He was known as the biggest narco-boss globally. The stories and rumours about his wealth and brutality were horrific. Shanks used to work for him when he was young. He even accidently slipped one time when he was drunk and told me the truth of how he and my dad became friends. My father also did work for Roger, and that was how they met and became like brothers. I have never mentioned to my father that I knew about this.

My dad’s past was something he has always hated to talk about and kept it privet from me. Until he became successful standup comedian, we were barely making the ends, and after a certain age I became fully aware that he was doing some bad things to make a living. Thit was the biggest reason why I couldn’t judge anyone based on who their parents were or their past, as sometimes in life we simply didn’t have choice, or we didn’t know better. If Ace and I ever spoke again I wouldn’t mention anything to him about the fact that I knew who his father was. Obviously, he didn’t want to be associated with him, not only because he had changed his name, but I remembered the only time he had ever mentioned his father was when he told me he had died before he was born, but the reluctance in his voice was as clear as a glass. This was something I could relate to. The despite I had for my mother was growing more and more with every passing year. The worst part was when I looked in the mirror. I didn’t have my father’s eyes or nose, neither the lips – it was all her. And I hated it, because the more I was growing up the more I could see the resemblance. Maybe that was why it was so easy for me to opened to Ace; we had different yet so similar pasts. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone vibrating, notifying me that I have a message. I reached to grab my phone and rose in bed immediately when I saw the message.

‘Stalking, huh?’ My heart skipped a beat when I read the message. It was from Ace. To say that I was confused would not be enough. Two weeks, we haven’t spoken for almost two weeks, and he hit me up at almost eleven pm with such cocky message. Sometimes I did forget how cocky Ace could be. I didn’t know how to response to the message. Not only I was embarrassed because, last thing I expected, was to get caught by him for checking out his Instagram profile, but because in fact I did not know how to respond to this. I thought for a moment to just ignore him the same way he ignored me in the past ten days, but I have always hated this back-and-forth games. I sighed before unlocking my phone and opening his message. All I could do was stare at it. I typed and deleted again and again as nothing seemed right to answer. At the end I send him the only thing that felt right – a middle finger emoji. Just that, a simple middle finger, as he did deserve it. I threw my phone next to me on the bed and ran my hands through my hair pulling it at the ends.

“Fucking Ace” I cursed out loud. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t response after this, but my phone vibrated again.

‘Yea, I deserve that. Sorry, doll. Didn’t mean to ignore you.’ I rolled my eyes at the message. I started to type when I received a third message from him. ‘Something bugged with my phone and I wasn’t able to response.”  My mouth opened wide as I couldn’t believe my eyes. I typed quickly, God the audacity this man had.

‘Thit was the best lie you came up with? Really?’ Chuckles escaped my lips as I couldn’t believe that he really thought I would fall for such a lame excuse. In response he just liked my message.

“Asshole.” I exclaimed loudly. This time I was pissed.

‘Fuck you Ace!’ The moment the message was sent he seen it and started to type.

‘Don’t be mad at me doll..’ I rolled my eyes again. Not the first nor it would be the last time I have had received this exact message from him.

‘I’m not your doll! Stop calling me that!’

‘You sure bout that?’

“Sure about which one exactly Ace?” I asked myself out loud. I left him on seen and decided to go to sleep as I have classes tomorrow morning. My phone vibrated again but this time it wasn’t a message it was a notification from Instagram. I laughed out loud.

‘@portgas.d.ace has requested to follow you.’ I read it out loud to myself. As much as he has pissed me, right now I was having fun with him. A mischievous idea crossed my mind and instead of accepting his request I denied it. He must apologise first and then he can have this access to me.

“These games can be played by two Ace.” I smirked to myself. My phone lit up again.

‘Did you just delete my request?’ I didn’t expect a response so fast and just like him earlier, I simply liked the message.

‘I’m not gonna request u again, doll ;)’ Instead of replying with my own response I forwarded him his own message - ‘You sure bout that?’

The smug smirk on my face growing with every second. He didn’t response after this, and I wondered if I pissed him off. Hopefully I did, if he thinks that I would easily forgive him, he was deeply wrong. These cheep tricks didn’t work on me and never would, so if he wants to have any kind of friendship with me, he better apologise properly for the past two weeks. I put my phone on ‘do not disturb’ mode and snuggled under my covers.

One thing I couldn’t deny was the warmth I felt in my heart and the smile on my face that Ace caused. Because – yes, I was still pissed at him, but it was also nice to chat with him again. I could say that in a way I missed him in the past ten days. It was so easy to get used to have him around. His charisma was intoxicating, no wonder he attracted so many people around himself. What bothers me, was the fact that I was catching myself craving these interactions with him. I shook my head trying to not think much of this right now, after all I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t hear from Ace for another two weeks.

*******

When I woke up in the morning, I saw I had a message from Nami. She had texted me that classes for today were cancelled due to our teacher being sick and asked me if I wanted to go out with her for a coffee. I agreed and got up to get ready. After I brushed my teeth and washed my face I put some light makeup. Before I dressed myself, I checked the weather app to decide what to wear. It was still pretty cold outside, so I just put on a light pink polo shirt with a pair of dark blue flare jeans. I grabbed a small handbag and put some lipstick and my ID in it, before I put on my long white coat and boots. I locked the door and put my keys in the bag. While I was walking towards the metro station, I checked the location Nami sent me. It was going to take me twenty-five minutes to get to there, but the good thing was that I needed to use only one metro line. When I got into the metro, I put my headphones on and played some music. One of the songs that played was Ace’s. I have to admit that I have been listening to the band quite a lot – but I did in fact enjoy their music. The song that played was ‘Compass’ and I caught myself smiling. The memories of them performing it live playing vividly in my mind; the interaction Ace and I had while he sang the song, the hand gesture he did that only I knew what it was referring to, when I bumped into him after, and Shanks interrupting us and the whole night was just playing in my mind. It has been two months since then. Two months since we accidently met in the coffee shop that same day.

Two months since we became... friends. If I could even call us that. Nami and Usopp are my closest friends, this was something I could say confidently. And since I filmed the movie at Sanji’s place, I could say that him, Zoro and Luffy were definitely my friends as well at this point. They even acted like extras in the movie for which I was so grateful for. Dave and I started to become more and more close with every passing day. But with Ace... I called him my friend, but somehow the word still stayed bitter on my tongue. Because friends by my understandings didn’t behave the way Ace and I did. My heart doesn’t skip any beat when I hang out with Dave for example. I have never craved any of my friends touch the way I did with Ace. My mood didn’t change based on how they would response on a message or how they would act when we meet. My mind was not occupied with the thought of them like it was with Ace. Recently a lot of things in my life were revolving around Ace and I did not enjoy this.

Lost in thoughts I almost missed the stop, but snapped out of it just on time to go out of the metro. It took me another ten minutes to reach the coffee shop where Nami was waiting for me. Entering the cafe the smell of freshly made pastries and coffee beans hit my senses. The sound of the coffee machine and people typing on their laptops or chitchatting with their friends could be heard all over the place. The coffee shop was small but quite busy, busier than my favourite one. I looked around and saw Nami sitting on one of the cozy couches they had. She waved when she saw me, and I made my way to her.

“Heyyy!” I greeted her when she stood up to give me a hug. “You look amazing.” I complimented her as she was wearing a nice long off shoulder white dress with her hair put in a beautiful messy bun.

“Aw, thanks you (Y/N), you look great, too.” She said while I was taking my coat off putting it on the side of the sofa. “I was waiting for you to come before I order any coffee, so shall we go and take a look at the menu?” Nami asked and I nodded in response. We stood by the counter and looked at the drink menu they had on the walls. Nami ordered herself a caramel latte and I took for myself a nice orange and cinnamon tea. We thanked the barista once our drinks were made and went to sit back.

“So how have you been?” Nami was the first to speak.

“Pretty good.” I response taking a sip of my hot tea. “Now that we are done with the short-cuts and I have already edit mine, I’m good. How about you?”

“Uh, don’t ask.” She whined. “I’m almost done editing it, but I can’t wait for them to do the evaluations next week, so I don’t have to deal with this again until springtime.” I nodded, agreeing with her. “But anyway, let’s not talk school today. I have an amazing offer for you.” She smiled at me and grabbed my hands in hers.

“Oh no, what is it Nami?” I dramatically huffed as I knew it would be something that I might not be very found of.

“I don’t know if you heard or saw somewhere but Luffy’s brothers are going to perform at ‘Ska Stage’ and we are all going and you must join us this time.” My eyes widen at what she said. I didn’t pay attention at all where they were going to perform last night then I saw the story. ‘Ska Stage’ was the most famous live music club in Grand Line, only already known bands and artists were performing there.

“Wait, are you kidding me? Are they really performing at the ‘Ska Stage’?

“Yes, I’m serious. I reacted the same way, don’t worry.” She giggled at my expression.

“I’m only surprised because... you know...” I struggled to find my words. “It’s a place for already... well famous artists.” I meant this in the most respectful way. Yes, the guys were talented, but they were still not that known at all.

“I know what you mean.” Nami clearly read the confusion on mt face. “But they are actually gaining quite lot of attention since you filmed their video.” She gave me a big smile and nudged me. I looked away for a moment as I got quite flushed over the fact that I had a little input over the fact that the band got more recognised over the past few weeks. “On top of it, they are going on a little tour like five cities for like two months can you believe it.” She excitedly squeaked.

“What? Are you for real?” I exclaimed loudly and covered my mouth with my hands as I was about to let out a scream. Nami nodded eagerly in response. “Wow, I can’t believe it. It’s all happening so fast, and I’m so happy for the guys. But I only saw the story about the performance next Saturday nothing about a tour?” I said to her confused.

“Well, they are still in discussion with the venues but they are almost done with the talks so they should announce it pretty soon.” She explained. I hummed with a nod.

“How do you know?” I chuckled raising a brow at her.

“Luffy.” She shrugged. I let out a little laughed when she said his name. “So, you are coming, right?” Her brows raised expecting my answer. I hesitated for a moment – yes, I would love to hear and see the guys perform and actually enjoy it, not like last time when I was working. On the other hand – was Ace. “Oh, please don’t tell me that you are hesitating now.” Nami whined interrupting my thoughts. I shook my head and chuckled.

“No, actually, yes.” I laughed awkwardly. Before she got the chance to say something I raised my finger in front of her face, stopping her from saying anything. “But yes, I will come this time.” I said and she squeaked again clapping her hand happily. I giggled at her excitement. “Who else is coming?” I took my tea mug, still hot in my hands, blowing it before I take a sip.

“The usual – Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp and Kaya.” I smiled in response as I heard who was going to come as well. While Nami was taking a sip of her latte her eyes widen, and she started to jump on the spot before she put the mug back on the table. I gave her a questioning look, wondering what gotten into her now. “Oh my God, you need to hear this. It is a boiling tea – so you know Koala, Sabo’s girlfriend?” She asked me excitedly. One thing about Nami was that she loved gossips and rumours, especially if they were a hundred percent true. I just nodded waiting for her to continue. “Well... she is not the only girlfriend anymore.” She said wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Um... okay?” I got quite confused. “What do you mean by this? Like did some of them got in a relationship?”

“Yes, guess who?” She teased me, clearly enjoying this.

“I don’t know Nami, I don’t know the guys that well.” A puff of air left my nose in a makeshift laugh.

“Ace.” She mischievously smirked. For a moment I thought that my heart stopped when Ace’s name left her lips. Without realising my smile faded away and my brows frown, my whole-body slumping from the news. I looked down at my hands not knowing how to response. When? Was he having a thing with a girl this whole time? Was it Samantha or some other girl? How could he act so single if he was seeing another girl the whole time. I could feel my chest tighten. Thoughts were running wild in my head until Nami ironic laughter interrupted them.

“Oh God, I was joking, but seeing this reaction you can’t fool me anymore that nothing is going on between you and him.” Nami shook her head giving me a knowing look once I looked at her. She crossed her arms and tilted her head at me waiting for me to start speaking.

“Puff, I was joking as well. Gotch ya.” I poked her sides with my finger, trying to laugh off the situation. She just gave me a look, tapping her fingers on her arm as she crossed her legs facing me better now. I huffed and looked away for a second before I response. “Look, Nami...” I started not sure how to word my sentence. Nothing was happening between Ace and I, but at the same time things between us were weird. I couldn’t keep pretending that whatever was happening between us was a ‘friendship’ because it wasn’t. But I didn’t know what to called it either. I took a deep breath before I continued. “Nothing is happening, okay? And I swear by it when I say it. We are just... let’s say we are friends but not really friends, you get what I mean?” it was pointless to lie to her as she could be thousand things, but stupid was not one of them.

“What do you mean by ‘friends’ but not really? What you two sleep together or something?” She raised her shoulders as she was trying to understand what the situation was like.

“No, no, no I swear we have never done anything physical not even a kiss.” I quickly told her afraid that she might get the wrong idea. She gave me a doubtful glance. “Nami, I swear I haven’t done anything with Ace.” I looked her in the eyes, praying that she would see that I wasn’t lying to her. Nami sighed loudly and rubbed her temples. We stayed in a silence for a moment before she locked her eyes with mine. Her expression softened but instead of relief a bit of concern spread across her face.

“Do you have feelings for him?” Her tone was soft, but the concern was there. She even took one of my hands in her and gave it a gentle squeeze. I quickly shook my head and laughed at her question.

“Nami, no. Are you crazy?” I looked at her like she was coming from another planet. I didn’t have any feelings for Ace. I was just simply confused of where we stood as friends. “I don’t have any feelings or anything close to feelings for him.” I continued to deny it. Nami tilted her head down a bit, her eyes focused on mine as she bit her lips not believing my answer.

“Then why did you react like you got splashed with boiled water when I said he has a girlfriend?” I didn’t know how to answer this question. I didn’t even realise how I had reacted until she pointed it out.

“I just got surprised because I didn’t expect to hear his name at all.” I tired to defend my reaction.

“(Y/N)... look, Ace is... a big flirt, okay? I would understand if you have already developed some crush on him, but he is not a relationship guy and you... you are a relationship girl.” Nami was struggling to find her words and I could clearly see this, but I was taken aback when I heard her observation about me.

“What do you mean by me being a ‘relationship’ girl?”

“I mean that you are the type who wants stability not a one-night stand.” Nami clicked her tongue. I frowned my brows. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. “You see, that is what I mean, you can’t even deny it yourself.” She laughed at me.

“So what? Is that a bad thing?” I snapped. “Plus, I don’t have any feelings towards him, and I promise you he doesn’t see me for anything more than a friend. He made sure to make this clear.” I murmured the last part. Nami squeezed my hand again and I looked at her.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m saying that Ace is not the guy for it.” She explained as patted me on the shoulder. “I know a guy with an obvious crush on you though.” She smirked when I turned my head quick to look at her.

“Who?” I snorted raising my eyebrow curiously.

“I’m not telling you until you at least admit you have a crush on Ace.” She nagged with a smile.

“Nami I’m not admitting anything, I don’t have a crush on Ace. Yes, I do find him attractive but so what? Finding someone attractive and having crush on them are two different things.” I said and rolled my eyes at her. “Now tell me who has crush on me?”

“Yeah, keep lying to yourself.” She also rolled her eyes at me. “Anyway, are you really not getting who I am referring to?” Nami giggled at my confused expression. I shook my head, I couldn’t think of anyone who might have crush on me. “Come on, try to guess at least.” She nagged me.

“Nami, I really don’t know I don’t interact with a lot of guys, so tell me, who is it?” It won’t be Ace this was something I was sure of.

“Dave.” Nami said and smirked. I laughed at her answer.

“No, he doesn’t.” I continued to laugh. When it comes to Dave, this was a relationship that I was a thousand percent sure what was it, and it was nothing more than a friendship. “Look, I might be confused with my ‘friendship’ with Ace, but when it comes to Dave, I’m pretty sure where we stand.” I confidently said, taking a sip of my now chilled tea.

“Girl, be fucking for real now.” Nami mocked me. “Dave is head over hills for you, and you are so blind to see it, and now I know why – because you are too busy focusing on the wrong guy aka Ace.” She blabbed and I gave her an ice-cold look.

“First of all, I’m not focused at all on Ace, and second you are wrong about Dave, plus I don’t see him in that way, so case closed.” I gave her a mocking smile and she rolled her eyes at me again.

“Okay, answer this one question and I won’t bother you anymore, if you have to choose between Ace and Dave who would you choose?” The look in her eyes was challenging as she raised her eyebrow.

“The one who makes me feel understood.” I said and winked at her, knowing that my answer left her confused a bit. She was about to protest when I interrupted. “Now tell me the tea.” I knew this was going to distract Nami for a bit. I didn’t want to talk anymore about Ace, let alone Dave as Nami was more wrong about Dave than she was about Ace.

“Oh yes, so apparently Law is having a serious girlfriend now. And she is also coming to watch them, and we are going to meet her as she will be joining our group with Koala.” Her eyes lit up with excitement while she was giving me more and more details about the whole ‘Law’s girlfriend’ situation. At some point I stopped her little rant to ask where she got all this information from which she gave me two names – Luffy and Usopp. At this point these two were as big of a gossipers as Nami was. We stayed for a little bit more before we decided to leave. While we were walking to the metro station, we continue to chitchat. Before we went to our separate ways, I called after her.

“About... about Ace... you wouldn’t tell anyone, right?” I knew she wouldn’t, but I had to make sure she would promise she wouldn’t mention anything to anyone.

“I haven’t seen nor heard anything.” She winked at me and smile before disappearing from my sight. I bit on my lip nodding to myself before I turned to walk to my direction.

On my way to home I started to think of what Nami said, especially about Dave. We did become closer in the past few weeks, but not in the way Nami saw it. We did hang out a lot around the university, Dave invited me out a few times, but I had to turn him down as I was busy with other things at the time. But going out and going on a date were two different things and Dave never invited me out on a date. He was just super friendly and a good person in general, so Nami was left with the wrong impression. Even if he did invite me on a date, I would have turned it down as I didn’t see him as anything more than a friend. Seeing Dave around university or even if I saw him randomly on the street would be nice, as he was my friend and I love coming across my friends, but there would be no blood rush, no heartbeat skipped, no excitement for when I would see him again – I would simply feel nothing.

I got home and changed into something more comfortable and like every other day I was either going to read or watch something as I didn’t have any other plans for the day. I sat on the sofa and grabbed my phone. Without realising what I was doing I opened my messages with Ace. When I realised what I have done I slightly shook my head in confusion. I knew why I opened his messages because when I was with Nami I thought of texting Ace to congratulate him on performing in ‘Ska Stage’ but he still hasn’t apologised properly so I shook the thought away. But now – home alone and bored I realised that I didn’t want to just congratulate him, I wanted to speak with him, to have some kind of interaction with him. I caught myself craving his presence, his attention even and this scared me to my core. Tossing my phone to the side before I do something that I might regret later, I grabbed the blanket and threw it over me before I put something to watch. I tried to shake the feeling away and distract my mind from Ace.

Whatever I put on the TV didn’t matter as my thoughts ran back to my last conversation I had with Kid. Out of nowhere I remembered the last time we saw and spoke to each other. It was after the Halloween party and I remembered I asked him how to tell if a guy who was kind of an ass might be into me, and his answer was simple – he would keep his distance but fail to do so every time. I wondered if this was the case with Ace, but I doubt it. Ace was just... Ace. Whatever might have logic to explain things for a normal person it didn’t apply for him. Ace was special in his own unique way, the last thing on the list of why he would constantly disappear and reappear was because he was into me. After all he was the one who made sure to make it clear that we would never be anything more than friends, even thought his view for ‘friendship’ was questionable. At this point I was the one who must distance myself from him even if it would be quite hard considering how much time I have spent recently just thinking about him. Yes, I should do this. I can’t afford to fall for Ace, let alone to admit to myself that the ‘innocent’ crush was starting to grow into something bigger.

*********

The following week past by fast and before I knew it was already Friday. We were having our official evaluations today and I was quite nervous, but at the same time I was looking forward to seeing my classmates’ movies and see how everyone’s vision has come to life. I took a seat between Nami and Usopp. Usopp pulled out different type of candies and small snacks from his backpack as we were going to watch movies the entire day and there was noting better than having something to munch on while watching. First it was Nami’s group, so for the first four hours we were watching their movies. Nami’s short film was beautiful, it actually made me tear up, as it was about a girl who was saying goodbye to her childhood toys in metaphor of losing her innocence. Her movie started so colourful – everything filmed in warm tones, while the end was in a way darker colours representing the grieving of the girl.

“It’s beautiful Nami.” I whispered to her as I wrapped my arms around her when the film finished. She cooed at me as she saw me crying and gave me a napkin.

“Thank you.” Nami said to me and then focused on what our teachers had to say about it.

After we saw the last movie from her group, we got an hour for lunchbreak. Today was pouring rain outside so we went to the university cafeteria and sat by one of the tables next to the big windows. We were mostly discussing the movies we saw and which of them we liked the best. As we were talking Dave saw us and came by our table, taking a seat next to me.

“Hey, what’s up guys? How are the evaluations going?” He gave me a charming smile before he focused his attention to Nami and Usopp. Nami glanced at me for a second before a little smiled formed on her face. I mockingly rolled my eyes at her as I knew what she was implying with this look on her face. Usopp and Dave started to chitchat and Nami was joining from time to time. I was eating my sandwich not really paying attention to their conversation, looking at the rain falling outside from the window as I had something totally different in mind. I felt a finger poking my sides and I quickly turned my head towards Dave. “What’s up? Are you out in space again?” He asked with a smile, but my eyes widen at his question. Did he just say, ‘are you out with Ace again?’

“Excuse me?” I must have heard wrong. Dave laughed at my expression and repeated his question.

“I asked, are you out in space again?” This time he said it slower. My brows raised and my mouth formed in an ‘O’ shape as this time I heard correctly.

“Sorry, I heard something totally different.” I chuckled. “Yes, I was out in deep space again.”

“What did you hear?” Usopp asked raising his eyebrow. I waved my hand in dismiss as it wasn’t important.

“So, Dave what are you doing tomorrow?” Nami asked him but glanced at me. She was up to something. I could tell it by the way her eyes had mischievous flame dancing in them.

“Watching football match with some of my friends. Why?” He turned his head to Nami, interested in what she was about to offer him.

“Do you want to come with us instead to watch the guys perform live?” She gave him a saccharine smile resting her chin on her palm. I shoot her a quick annoyed glance before I could stop myself. I didn’t even know why I did it, but I just hoped that Dave would say no.

“The guys?” Dave asked before he realised whom Nami was referring to. “Oh, your friends? No, thank you I will pass.” He said, but it was something in his tone that caught me off.

“What do you mean by ‘no I will pass’?” I mocked his voice. Dave raised his shoulders a bit and gave me an apologetic look before he answered me.

“Not a fan, sorry.” He awkwardly said, scratching the back of his neck while avoiding looking at me.

“Why’s that Dave?” Nami asked just a second before I could. I could see that Dave was getting a little uncomfortable.

“Let’s just say that it’s not my type of music.” He chuckled. I snorted at his response, and they all turned their attention towards me.

“Yes, they are. You have played me some of your friends’ music and it is quite similar to what Ace does.”

“They do.” Nami quickly added. I gave her a questionable look. “You said ‘what Ace does’ I’m just correcting you that they are four of them.” She smugly smiled at me knowing what she was doing. Usopp’s eyes shifted between both of us catching that something was up. Dave had his head turned to the side so I couldn’t see his reaction as he was facing away from me.

“Ha-ha did I? Well, usually we refer to the lead singer, don’t we?” I chuckled awkwardly hoping that no one would make a big deal out of it. Dave taped his hand on the table before he stood from his chair.

“I have to go now, guys. See you around.” He bit us a quick goodbye and left before we could say anything.

“That was strange.” I said. Usopp nodded and Nami gave me a look. “What?”

“Usopp, do you think Dave is into (Y/N)?” Nami tilted her head to Usopp. My eyes widen in disbelieve. Usopp just nodded in response as he was eating. Once he swallowed his food, he cleared his throat before he spoke.

“It is painfully obvious.” He took another bite of his food.

“Thank you, Usopp.” Nami loudly exclaimed and clapped with her hands.

“No, he is not. I promise you guys, you are wrong about this.” I argued with them. Dave was not into me and even if he was, I refused to believe it as the feelings weren’t mutual. Nami was about to start arguing with me, but Usopp beat her.

“Yes, he is. He even asked me if you are seeing someone and if that was why you are turning him down all the time.” He calmly said. My brows raised up when I heard that. “He even thought that something is going on between you and Ace, but I promised him that there is nothing going on between you two.” I side-eyed Nami when Usopp mentioned Ace and she raised her eyebrow at me with a ‘I told you’ look written all over her face.

“I have never turned him down, neither I knew that he was asking me out on a date.” I quickly defended myself. “Plus, he asked me as well for Ace, and I told him that nothing is going on between us, I don’t know where he got this idea from.” I sighed rolling my eyes.

“Ace was giving him looks while we were filming the video all the time, so no wonder he thought you might be the reason why, but I reassured him that Ace is sometimes like this around new people.” Usopp explained.

“Yeah, Ace does this sometimes. No wonder Dave left when you mentioned him.” The sassiness in Nami’s voice clicked something in me and I got pissed.

“Okay, I want to make something clear to everyone once and for all.” I stood up from my chair as I started to put my lunchbox back in my bag. “There is nothing between Ace and I, okay? Is that clear?” I pointed my finger at both as they were looking at me with widen eyes, surprised by my outburst. “And I have made it clear that I’m not interested in dating anyone, so if someone has anything towards me sorry not sorry it is not mutual. Now please if you excuse me, I need some time alone.” I put my bag on my shoulder and storm out of the cafeteria.

I went out for a few minutes to get some fresh air. The rain was still pouring, and it was getting even colder, but I needed some time alone. Why was everyone assuming something was happening between Ace and me? All the ‘closure’ we have ever had was when no one has been around. Did Luffy mention something? I have heard that he has a big mouth, but he did promise me to not tell anyone about that one time I stayed over Ace’s place.  Honestly, I was tired of hearing and talking about Ace and in the past week or so he was the main topic in all the conversations I have had with people.

I looked at time on my phone and sighed. It was time to go back to the cinema room to watch my groups movies. I slowly made my way there and when I entered Nami and Usopp were waiting for me. For a moment I hesitated if I should take a new seat, but this was going to be very childish of me, so I just sat between them without saying anything. They gave me an apologetic look, but I just ignore it.

My movie was the third one of that we saw from our group. It received something between a bad and a good grade, which wasn’t the grade I was aiming for and this made me a disappointed at myself. I knew it wasn’t going to be the best, but also, I didn’t expect it to be so average.

“It was a great movie (Y/N).” Nami whispered in my ear as she gently placed her hand on my shoulder. Usopp gave me the thumbs up and mouthed ‘good job’. I slightly nodded and thanked them. If my mood was bad because of the conversation we had before the second part of the evaluations now it was completely ruined. Usopp’s movie was last – it was about a man who had to choose between chasing his dream or staying to live in the small town where he came from with the love of his life. The ending was open to the audience which added a very nice note to the movie. I patted him on the back when it finished, as he did a great job. After the evaluations were done, I was the first one to leave the room immediately. I heard Usopp yelling after me, but I guessed Nami stopped him as none of them came after me for which I was thankful. All I wanted was to be alone for a bit.

I got home as quick as possible. The moment I took off my jacket and boots and sat on the couch my tears stared to fall. As much as I doubted myself, I have always tried to be the best in the things that I did. Knowing how much effort I put into this project and receiving an average grade did affect me. I knew that my script wasn’t the most unique scenario out there, but the grade was not based on scripts. It was based on directing. And I did fail. I pulled my legs close to my chest as I wrapped my hands around my body. Quiet sobs left my body. Thoughts were running wild in my mind about what I could have done differently to change the outcome of the movie. It was only a project, but it was the most important one for the first semester, and in my mind, I failed it. And I knew that many more projects were coming, but it wasn’t just the grade that put me down – it was the effort, the stress, the time, all this that I invested in, only to be an average result. I looked at my phone and I saw that I had some messages from Usopp and Nami, wondering if I was alright and if I needed someone to talk to I should call them. Another sob left my lips as I realised how bad I treated them today with my outburst. They were too nice to me. I didn’t respond to them right away instead I was just staring at the contacts I had on iMessage. There was one person who I knew was going to understand me, but I didn’t want to bother him. It was more like I wasn’t sure if he would mind me to bother him.

Before my mind could process it, I was already dialing his number. I put it on speaker and placed it on my right knee as I propped my head on my left one. The phone continued to ring for some time and just as I was about to hang up, he picked up.

“Hello?” His voice was low and raspy as always.

“I failed my short-cuts.” I said quietly and sniffed.

“I doubt this, doll.” His tone was soft but the way he said it was very assuring.

“Oh, I-I did Ace. I really did a b-bad job, the grade I got i-is quite average a-and compared to my classmates m-movies mine was just ‘okay’, nothing wow. I-I failed as a d-director.”

“Wow, wow, calm down okay. First of all, are you crying?” Ace asked concerned. I hummed and sniffed again. “Doll, please relax. I know the feeling, okay? We can’t always be at the top.” He chuckled. “And you said that your movie is average, you didn’t say ‘bad’ – average doesn’t always mean bad.”

“But it was nothing ‘wow’. And I had made quite lot of mistakes directing the actors.” I cried.

“Oh, you cry baby.” Ace chuckled softly. “Last time I checked you were a filmmaking student, not a filmmaker already. Don’t beat yourself so much. Just learn from whatever mistakes you’ve made.” His tone continued to be calm and reassuring. I didn’t know how to respond to what he said because he was right. I was overthinking it rather than learn from it. “Do you need me to come?” He broke the silence that took over the phone.

“No, please don’t. I just... I just needed someone to talk to.” I sniffed again and whipped my tears with the back of my hand. I cursed myself in my mind. “I’m so sorry for calling you, I don’t know what took over me. I-I hope... I-I didn’t bother you with my o-outburst and... and c-can we forge-” Ace was quick to interrupt me.

“You didn’t bother me at all.” His voice was tender. “And stop apologising and crying, otherwise I will come despite your wants.” He warned me and I could sense that he wasn’t joking. “Also, I doubt your movie is as bad or ‘boring’ as you clamed it to be. So next time your pretty face is free you are coming over and showing it to me, okay?” His voice was playful which made me smile.

“Okay.” I giggled. “I will do that, I promise.”

“Good.” He simply responded. “Plus, give yourself some credit. Our music video is already at two hundred thousand views on YouTube, and you directed this. Not many of you classmates can say the same, am I wrong?” I have totally forgotten about this, until Ace mentioned it. It has gained even more views in the last week.

“Oh my, I didn’t know it got so many views. Congrast Ace.” My smile grew wilder.

“Well, thanks, but this was possible because of you. Don’t forget that.” He hummed on the phone.

“You give me too much credit. People listen to the music and don’t pay that much attention to the video.”

“Yes and no, bu-” Ace got interrupted as I could hear someone calling for him. “Listen doll, I must go now, as we are rehearsing for tomorrow. But please, relax. It was just a grade not the determination of your career.”

“You are right.” I let out a sigh.

“If you need something or...” He paused for a second before continuing. “Or you need me just let me know.” His voice got even lower, and I just hummed in response. “Okay, I have to go now, take care.”

“Ace...” I said just before he hung up.

“Yes, doll.”

“Thank you.” I whispered. He didn’t say anything and just hung up.

I could feel myself relax a bit. This was the thing about Ace – he always knew how to make me relax, how to calm me down, how to make me feel safe. Even if we haven’t seen each other for almost three weeks now, deep down when I was dailing his number I knew that he would pick up. I knew that he was the only person who could calm me down and he did. I got this weird warm feeling in my chest when I recalled him calling me ‘pretty face’. He knew how to sweep a girl off her feet. If I wasn’t affected right now, I was probably going to make some snarky comment on it, but not this time. I took my phone and quickly wrote an apologetic message to Nami and Usopp.

After almost an hour I got a phone call from unknown number. I picked up and it was a delivery. The delivery guy asked me if I could give him the door code so he could deliver it to my door or if I would like to go down and picked it up myself. I explained that I haven’t ordered anything, but he said that he had my address and name given with the phone number. That was strange, but I gave him the door code as I was too lazy to go down myself. The doorbell rang and I opened. He gave me the bag with whatever was inside and left. I closed the door and looked at bag that seemed to have food in it. I raised my eyebrows in confusion because I haven’t made any order. I put the bag on the kitchen counter and opened it.

“No, he didn’t.” I exclaimed as I covered my mouth with the palm of my hand. Inside the bag was a box of my favourite chicken wings from Pappa Grappa and there was another box with three different cakes – a chocolate cake, a carrot cake and an Oreo cheesecake. There was also a little note in the bag: ‘I wasn’t sure which one you would like so I got you all three – Ace.’ I almost started to cry again. No one has ever done such gesture for me. My hear was beating fast in my chest. I closed my eyes and bit my lip as I tried to stop the big smile growing on my face. Why would he do such thing for me? I grabbed my phone and quickly wrote him a message.

‘You didn’t have to do this... but thank you.’

‘I know. I just wanted to.’ He replied after some time.

I reread his message a few times. It was on a repeat in my mind. Something in this message made me feel in a way I have never felt before. But not in a way where butterflies were flying in your stomach or you breath stops, nothing like this. It was this hard to explain feeling of significance if I may call it this way. Like he cared about me, otherwise he wouldn’t do such thing. Ace is a good person, but I have noticed that there are things which he would do only for those who he cared for. A warm feeling bloomed in my heart. Ace cared for me.

I placed my hand on my chest, feeling the beating of my heart. This wasn’t a ‘innocent’ crush anymore. I couldn’t lie or deny it to myself anymore. After all, in a bad day like this one he was the first person I called, he was the person I needed, he was the person who made it better. I did not fall from this small gesture – no. This small gesture just opened my own eyes for the truth that I was trying to deny myself. I did have feelings for Ace. They were nowhere near to being in love with him, but they were there. They were there, freed from the shackles I have had wrapped around them. I felt free as I no longer needed to lie to myself. Yes, maybe they weren’t mutual feeling, but the fact that he cared for me in his own way was enough. I picked a fork from the kitchen drawer and opened the cake box taking a bite of the chocolate cake. I wasn’t sure if the cake was really this sweet or me coming to terms with my feelings towards Ace. The only thing in my mind without any guilt this time was the thought of Ace and the fact that I was going to see him tomorrow night.

************

My apartment was a mess. There were clothes and shoes everywhere and my make up was all spread around the bathroom counter. Nami and Sanji were going to pick me up in less than an hour now and I was nowhere close by being ready. I have just finished doing my hair and what was left was choosing an outfit and putting a lipstick on. Since yesterday I was thinking what should I be wearing tonight, and nothing seemed to be good enough. I even called Nami earlier wondering what she was planning to wear even thought I wasn’t planning on matching with her. Her saying that she was going to wear a mini dress gave me the confidence to go for something not so cold friendly as well. Speaking of Nami, I received a message from her that they were going to be outside my place in fifteen minutes, and it sent me into a spiral.

I set my mind on something simple, yet eye catching – a silver sparkling mini skirt with a white top. I added some nice sliver jewellery as final touches to the outfit before I put on my white high heel booths on and coat. I took a final look at myself and realised I forgot to put on lipstick. I ran to the bathroom and searched for the one I had in mind. When I finally found it and the lip pencil, I carefully lined my lips and filed them up with the lipstick. Now I gave myself one final look and smiled at myself. I put the lipstick and the lippen in my coat’s pocket as I decided to skip on a purse.

Running down the stairs my heart was beating fast. In less than an hour I was going to see Ace and this bubble of excitement was growing bigger with every passing minute. We haven’t seen each other in three weeks, and I was going to lie if I said I didn’t put extra effort in the way I looked today. Opening the backseat door of the car I was met with almost the whole gang.

“Hey guys.” I greeted all four of them. Luffy scouched in the middle seat making space for me to sit. When I sat down, we three were like sardines in a can, and we started to laugh as Luffy was too tall to sit in the middle. I offered him to switch before Sanji drove off, but he said he was okay. “I didn’t know you two were coming with Nami and Sanji.” I said to Luffy and Zoro.

“A free ride is a free ride, shihihi.” Luffy grinned at me. Zoro slightly nodded agreeing with Luffy.

“You look mesmerising (Y/N).” Sanji complimented me as we locked eyes in the front mirror.

“Thank you, Sanji. You too, as always.” I smiled at his compliment.

“Be careful (Y/N), you might give this dumbhead, a heart attack and he will crash us before we even drove off.” Zoro snorted.

“You better shut up, before I kick you out of my car, mosshead.” Sanji snapped back. They started to snap back and forth between each other, something that was a typical for them. Luffy was laughing at their banter and Nami turned to me.

“Girl, you look stunning. Planning to break some hearts tonight?” She teased me.

“I could say the same about you.” I teased her back. I couldn’t see how she was dressed under her coat, but she mentioned she was going to wear a red mini dress. Her hair was up in a very nicely done bun while some strands were freely falling around her beautify face.

Soon we arrived at the club. The queue was long, way longer than the one in front of ‘The Red Pirates’. The security guards were intimidating but not as much as Beckman and Lucky. Behind them the loud music from the club could be heard even far away from the entrance. Suddenly a small wave of anxiety hit me, and I wrapped my coat tighter around my body. Zoro seemed to notice and came closer to me.

“Don’t worry, we are cutting past the queue, and we have a special table.” He said in my ear. I smiled and nodded at him, as silent thank you for his reassuring. Nami called after us to follow her. By the entrance were standing Koala and one more girl. The girl had a tall and nicely curved body. Her long black hair was falling freely on her back. When she turned around, I was amazed, as I have never seen such a gorgeous woman before. I even heard Zoro murmuring ‘damn’ quietly under his breath.

“Hello guys.” Koala waved her hands excitedly at us. Luffy was first to reached her and he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up from the ground. “Luffy put me down.” She squeaked happily. He did as he was told and let a boyish laugher. When she saw Nami and me she gave us hugs. “How are you girls, you look stunning.” She complimented us. “Oh, everyone. This is Robin, Law’s girlfriend.” Koala introduced us to the beautiful woman who’s name we have just learned. I glanced at Zoro whose face was unreadable as always, but I caught his lip twitching a bit when he heard that Robin was taken.

“Nice, to meet you, Robin.” I smiled at her.

“Nice to meet you, as well guys. I have heard quite a lot about you.” She shyly chuckled.

“Whatever you have heard and depends on from who it might be true.” Sanji winked at her. Nami sighed loudly next to him and nudged his sides. Sanji gave her an apologetic look as he couldn’t contain his admiration towards Robin.

“Are we all here?” Koala asked as she counted us to make sure we didn’t miss someone.

“Usopp and Kaya should be here any minute now.” Luffy told her.

“Okay, let’s wait for them. Hopefully they come soon as I need to go and see my man before his big night.” Her eyes sparkled when she referred to Sabo. “And Robin here, too. It’s so nice to know that I’m not the only girlfriend you know.” She said jokingly.

It didn’t take long for Usopp and Kaya to join us. Now when we were all together Koala cut the line and spoke with the guards. They nodded at us and took down the rope letting us in. We walked in straight and left our coats in the cloakroom.

“Wow, (Y/N), you look gorgeous, I love the skirt.” Koala said to me as I took of my coat. I got flattered by her compliment.

“Oh, thank you. I bought it in the summer but never got the chance to wear it.” I chuckled.

“Well, tonight is your lucky night.” She winked at me before she turned to everyone. “Okay guys, follow me to our table and from there on you deal on your own.” Koala clapped her hands, and like a kindergarten kids we followed her strictly.

The club was big, it could probably fit up to five hundred people, and the fact that the guys sold out the show meant it would be full tonight. The illumination lights were showering the place in blue and purple colours. Where the stage was positioned the band’s logo was on display, behind the DJ booth. The music which he was playing was quite popular and catchy so there were already a lot of people dancing and singing on the dance floor. The dance floor wasn’t as crowded as the bar was. I could only imagine the stress the bartenders were under with so many people around. We reached the VIP section and there was security standing at the podium. Koala showed them something on her phone and they nodded letting us pass and gave us paper bracelets, which were for them to know that we were allowed in this aera.

“Okay, guys I have pre-ordered the drinks I know you all usually drink. There are waitresses as well so if you go out of something let them know.” Koala had to scream so we could hear her. “Robin and I must go and see the guys before they start, so leave something for us as well, okay?” She laughed before grabbing Robin by the hand and disappearing into the crowed. I frowned a bit, as I realised, I wouldn’t be able to see Ace until they were done performing.

“Luffy, I love your brothers for paying for all of this.” Nami wrapped her arms around Luffy giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Come on guys, let’s get this party started.” Luffy yelled over the music and clapped with his hands. It didn’t take Zoro and Sanji another second to start opening the three bottles of alcohol in the table. They filled up everyone’s glasses with ether vodka or rum, Zoro and Luffy mixing both, with some cola or redbull. Zoro handed me mine and I thanked him. Everyone cheered and took a sip of their drink. I didn’t want to get drunk tonight, so I was planning to keep it light with the drinks. The guys were going to perform around twelve and I had no idea what time it was already. I got a little jump scared when I started to pat my sides only to realise, I forgot my phone in my coat. An annoyed sigh left my lips. Kaya was sitting next to me, wrapped in Usopp arms so I tapped her on the shoulder.

“Kaya, do you have any idea what time it is?” I leaned close to her ear so she could hear me. She took Usopp’s hand and looked at his watch.

“Eleven twenty.” She said as loud as possible over the loud music. I nodded my head and mouthed a ‘thank you’. I took look at our surroundings. The club got even more crowded since we have been here. Sanji and Usopp were chitchatting about something, while Nami was in between Zoro and Luffy taking vodka shots. The VIP podium was a little higher so while my eyes were roaming around, they locked with some random guy. He gave me a smile and raised his drink at me for a greeting. I raised mine just a bit, giving him an awkward smile in return.

“Get up you two.” Nami came and pulled both of Kaya and me up. “We are here to have fun, not to sit like some old people.” She handed each of us a glass of shot. We were about to protest when she pointed her finger at us with a stern look. Kaya and I glanced at each other, and we raised the shot glasses for a cheer before drinking them. I scrunched my face from the after taste and Kaya’s whole body shook. “Now we are talking.” Nami smiled wide.

“I will run to the toilets.” I said to Kaya.

“You want me to come with you?” She gently placed her hand on my mine.

“No, it’s fine, I will be back fast.” I reassured her and turned around to go and search for the toilets. I stopped and asked the security to guided me where I could find them, and he pointed the direction. On my way to the toilets, I had to push through people as everyone was bumping into each other. Someone bumped into me but instead of saying sorry or anything they just stayed there. It was the guy who smiled at me a few minutes ago.

“Hey, you.” He came closer to me and leaned to my ear. “You are quite an eye catch.” He said eyeing me up and down. I gave him another awkward smile as I tried to move past him. But he didn’t let me.

“Sorry I need to go to the toilet.” I screamed over the loud music as I took a step back.

“Give me, your name at least.” He came closer to me again. This guy was making me feel uncomfortable. In comparison to me he was taller, but not very tall. Very muscular, but obviously not naturally. His hair was cut short and somehow it suited his face. He wasn’t ugly, but he wasn’t attractive as well. It didn’t really matter as I was not interested in him at all. I got the hint that he wouldn’t let me go until he gets my name, so I gave it to him. “I hope to get to see you again (Y/N).” He said as he stepped aside. I quickly made my way to the toilet and sighed in relief. This guy gave me the chills.

As the security guy was letting me back in the VIP aera my breath got caught in my lungs. Ace was at our table speaking with Usopp and Luffy. He was standing with his back facing me, but I could recognise his posture and black raven hair from miles away. The security snapped his fingers in front of my face as I had frozen on the spot. I lowered my head and stared to slowly walk to our table. I tried to fix my hair a bit before he could see me. My heart started to beat fast and my mind to run wild. How should I approach him? Or what should I tell him? Before could answer these questions myself Usopp pointed out at me. Ace’s body slightly turned as he turned his head to look at me. He was dressed like the first time I saw them perform, all black with his shirt unbuttoned a bit revelling his muscular chest with his red beam neckless around his neck. Chills ran down all over my body when our gazes locked. His face was unreadable. I finally stood in front of them three, but I couldn’t dare to look at Ace as my shyness took over.

“Where did you go?” Luffy was the first one to speak.

“Toilet.” I shortly replied. My eyes shyly moved to look at Ace as I could feel his eyes on me. A little smile was playing on his lips. Kaya pulled Usopp by the hand for something and Luffy took a step back going back to Zoro.

“You know I don’t bite, doll.” Ace took a step towards me and leaded closer to my ear so I could hear him. Even with high heels on he was still taller than me and I had to look up to meet his eyes. I gave him a playful eyeroll.

“I-I just didn’t expect to see you.” I replied and tried to hide the fact that I got a little nervous seeing him.

“Oh, sorry did you come to see ‘The Ghetto’ tonight? They cancelled so we had to take over.” He joked with me and a big grin spread over his face. I chuckled and pushed his chest playfully to get away from me.

“I thought I won’t see you until after you perform.” I said.

“I got bored and came to say ‘hi’ to Luffy.”

“Only to Luffy?” I gasped and dramatically put my hand to my chest. Ace snorted and tilted his head to the stage.

“Well, enjoy yourself, I gotta go.” He said as he turned to leave, but before he did, he leaned closer to my ear again. “You look flawless, doll.” The way he said it with his low and raspy voice, almost making it impossible to hear him over the loud music, made my legs go numb. Before I could reply, he was gone. As I snaped out of the trance I got in and looked at the table praying that no one saw our little interaction. Someone yelled shots and I reached with my hand and quickly grabbed one from the table. The taste of it burning my insides but after this close encounter with Ace I needed one. Koala and Robin joined us soon after and quickly grabbed a drink for themselves.

The guys came on stage after twenty minutes. They were met with loud applauses. From our spot Luffy whistled loudly and Usopp joined him, while Koala was shouting Sabo’s name. My entire focus was on Ace. He looked so confident, his whole presence and aura filling up the space. His charming smile was big as he ran his hand through his hair. He turned his head to look at Sabo and nodded to him that they could start playing.

If things were different, we were young Skinny dipping, having fun, I remember

His voice was melodious filling the air with a soulful melody. Ace might have been hard to read when it came to his emotions, but when he was singing, he was pouring all of them and his feelings into the lyrics.

What a mistake saying the way I felt I'd say my main influence is myself And 'cause I started young, I learned a ton, I didn't run

I knew this was one of the songs which he wrote himself. When we were looking for locations to shoot their music video, I asked Ace if they wrote their songs together or if it was only one of them who did it. He told me that it depended, but mostly it was Law and Sabo who wrote their songs. I got surprised by his response back then as I always thought he had a big input on the songs, but he added that there were some songs he wrote entirely himself, and the ‘Alleyways’ was one of them.

All I wanted would become everything I ever loved, I remember (I left myself in the alleyway)

Loud applauses and cheering came the moment the song finished.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Ace, the guy playing the drums is my brother Sabo, on my left is Law and on my right is Deuce. We are ‘The Neighbourhood’ and we thank you for being here tonight.” Ace spoke on the microphone and another round of cheers came from the crowed. They didn’t waste any time and started to play their next song.

Their set was amazing. People were singing and dancing, enjoying the night. Even Zoro joined and sang some of the lyrics in their songs. When they sang ‘Compass’ Koala and I sang the loudest of our group. The song was written for her after all, but I had my own special moment with it as well. They wrapped their performance with ‘Sweater Weather’ and the entire crowed sang with them the song. After all it was their most popular song.

“Thank you everyone.” Ace said as they finished with their performance. “This was the first time ever we have played live in front of so many people. Again, a big thank you to all of you who support us. Before we leave the stage, we have two important things to announce.” His smile grew big as he was met with loud cheering. “First we are going on a small tour across the country.” Everyone cheered for them in unison, I even felt my heart skipping a beat when Ace announced it, happy that this was happening. “And second... should I actually tell them guys?” He chuckled playfully as he turned to look at the rest of the band. They nodded at him with big smiles on their faces. “We are working on our first official album which means that a lot of new music is coming your way.” The cheering from the people around was nothing compared to the shock faces of all of us, even Koala and Luffy.

“Did you know about this?” Luffy yelled at her with excitement. She shook her head ‘no’ but both hugged and started to jump happily.

“Did you know Robin?” I asked her as she was standing next to me.

“No, I didn’t. But Law did mention to me that they were going to announce something important tonight other than the small tour.” She explained and gave me a big smile.

The guys left the stage, and the DJ took over again. It would take them some time to join us. I felt a little tipsy from the shots and the two glasses of rum and cola that I drank. Knowing that Ace would be here soon I started to get a little nervous so I tapped Nami on the shoulder and told her that I would be back in a second as I needed to go to the toilet. She was too invested in her conversation with Usopp and Sanji that she didn’t pay me much attention.

It took me some time to reach the toilets. There were some girls crying while others were trying to calm them down. Others were drunk complimenting each other – the whole girl club experience. I washed my hands and looked myself in the mirror. My lipstick was gone at this point only the faint line of my lipliner was visible. I sighed as my lipstick was also in my coat. One girl saw my struggle and offered me her lipstick, but I politely declined. I quickly fixed my hair a bit and left the bathroom. Sudden thirst for water hit me and before I return to our table I went to the bar. I waited around ten minutes until it was my turn to order.

“Hey, can I just have a glass of water?” I yelled at the bartender so she could hear me over the loud music. She nodded and handed me a glass filed up with cold water. I thanked her and moved to the side, so I didn’t hold the queue. Putting the glass down on the bar counter I felt someone behind me. I turned around and the guy from earlier was standing there with two glasses filled up with some drink.

“I saw you again I couldn’t resist the urge to buy you drink. Have been admiring you the whole night so I’ve noticed you drink rum and coke.” He smiled and extended his hand offering me the drink.

“Ha, oh, thanks.” I grabbed the drink as I didn’t want to offend him. The creepy vibes this guy was giving me were growing with every passing second.

“Cheers then.” He raised his glass and clicked it with mine, taking a sip from his. I just gave him a little smile not wanting to take a sip of the drink. “Why aren’t you drinking? You know when you give a cheer you take a sip of the drink.” He came closer to me and yelled so I could hear him better over the loud music. I laughed awkwardly and took a small sip of the drink, hoping that after this he would leave me alone.

“Thank you for the drink, but I have to go to my friends.” I tried to be as polite as possible, but he held me by the shoulder before I had the chance to leave.

“Oh, please at least finish your drink with me here and then I promise if you still find me annoying, I won’t bother you again.” His tone was pleading. “I promise, I’m not some bad guy, I just think you are very beautiful, and I want to talk with you.” I gave him a doubtful look at first and then sighed and nodded. Maybe I was wrong and judging too fast, he might be a good guy after all. I planned to finish the drink fast so I could go back to Nami and the guys. Ace would be there soon, he might be already there as well, and I wanted to speak and congratulate him.

The guy whose name I didn’t catch because of the music started to talk and I was nodding the entire time while sipping on the drink. He asked me questions like if I had a boyfriend and who I was here with to which I answered quick. I finished with the drink and tried to excuse myself, but he stopped me again.

“Please, am I such a bad company? Just give me five more minutes.” At this point I felt bad as I didn’t want to be rude, I was simply not interested in him. I nodded and promised myself it was the last five minutes I was giving him.

I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that it was crowded with people around the bar or the sudden quickened heartbeat, but a heatwave hit me out of nowhere. I started to wave my hand in front of my face trying to get some cold air in my face.

“Hey, are you okay?” The guy asked me with concern written over his face. I tried to speak but nothing came out. “Do you want to go outside? You seemed to need some fresh air.” He didn’t even wait for my response as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started to walk me through the crowed.

“N-no, s-stop.” I tried to protest but my words were stumbling. My mouth became extremely dry, and I have never felt such thirst in my life. “I-I want-t to g-go... m-y f-friends... A-Ace...” I tried to push the guy away, but he only tightened his grip around me. I turned my head at the direction where the VIP section was supposed to be, but my vision started to get blurry as I was losing my focus.

“Shh, it’s okay I will get you back to your friends.” The guy said. “We just going to have some fun first.” He whispered in my ear. My mind barely processed what he said the only thing I could feel was the cold air hitting my face and body. Everything around me was blurred and my body felt numb. My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it might explode any second now. The feeling of something bad that was about to happen took over me, but I couldn’t fight or say something. All I could feel right now was confusion and dizziness. With every taken step the numbness in my body was growing. At some point I lost track of time. I heard a voice which sounded so familiar, but I couldn’t recognise whose it was. I only felt being let go off as the guy no longer had his arms wrapped around me and I had to keep my own balance. Keeping my eyes open became impossible, I just felt being pulled into something before darkness took over me.

*********

After the guys were done with the performance Ace left the stage first. The only thing he wanted to do right now was to take a smoke and be in some quite place for a few minutes. The good thing was that behind the club’s stage was a door which was leading to the back entrance to an empty alley. His hands were shaking a bit from the adrenalin he felt while on stage as he opened a new pack of cigarettes.

‘The set went well, it could have been better, but it went well.’ Ace was thinking to himself while lighting up a cigarette. He took a long puff of it, closing his eyes and leaning on the wall. There were a few good things that happened tonight – first the performance went well, which was something he was rarely satisfied with; second was the fact that he didn’t get any narcolepsy attack during it, as this was something that always bothered him, especially tonight. They have never performed around so many people. The max so far had been hundred something, but tonight there were almost five hundred people, which was five times more than usual. And third – (Y/N) was there. She was their all dolled up, watching him perform. Ace wondered if she liked the performance. He glanced at her a few times while he was singing, and he saw her having fun singing along with the rest of the group. Last time he saw her was like a month ago or so, he wasn’t sure. He thought that it was going to be enough time to get rid of the effect she had on him, but he was wrong. Not like she ever escaped his mind during that time. Especially after she called him crying yesterday, and the urge that took over him to do something to make her feel better. The thought of her being in distress about something let alone crying was making him feel so uncomfortable and bothered. He hated that feeling. He never felt like that toward anyone, any girl before, and he couldn’t explain to himself why he was feeling this way towards her.

Three cigarettes later, Ace took a deep breath and went back inside. He quickly made his way towards the section Luffy and the rest of his bandmates were now. Everyone cheered when they saw him and Luffy went to high five his brother.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me about the album?” He yelled at him and Sabo.

“We wanted to be surprised for everyone.” Sabo explained. Koala was wrapped in his arms, and he pulled her even closer to him. Ace snorted and looked around. Everyone was there except (Y/N).

“Yo, Luffy.” Ace grabbed Luffy by the shoulder pulling him closer to whisper in his ear. “Where is (Y/N)?” Luffy smirked as he heard his brother asking for her. He might have been dumb, but Luffy wasn’t blind. These two might deny anything but something was obviously happening between them. He was about to joke with Ace when he realised he hasn’t seen her in a while.

“Nami.” Luffy yelled grabbing Nami’s attention. She came closer to them with a questioning look. “Have you seen (Y/N)?” Luffy asked her as he thought she might know where (Y/N) went. Nami’s eyes widen as she looked at her phone, noticing that it has been at least thirty minutes since you have gone to the bathroom.

“She said she was going to the toilet, but it has been at least half an hour.” Nami said and looked a little concerned at Ace and Luffy. “I will go and look for her.” She tried to pass between them two, but Ace stopped her.

“You are drunk. Stay here, I will go look for her.” Ace sighed. “Also don’t you girls go together to the toilets?” He chuckled at Nami before turning away.

“Ace.” Luffy called after him. “Should I come with you?” The place was big it would be easier if they both searcher for her, but Ace waved his hand dismissively, knowing that it wouldn’t take him long to find you.

He went to look straight to the toilets, maybe there was a long queue. Of course, he couldn’t get in the ladies’ bathroom, but he stopped some girls that were going out of it, asking if they saw her by describing how she looked. None of them have seen anyone described as you inside so he just thanked them and left the bathroom’s hall. He doubted that you would be on the dancefloor, especially alone. Ace made his way to the bar, observing everywhere and everyone carefully to see if he could spot you. His height was in advantage to him but still no luck. He sighed annoyed but also concern started to build up in him. What if something happened to you? You wouldn’t left without telling anyone. He stayed on one spot for a second with his hands place on his hips as he was slowly looking around. His eyes glanced at the entrance/exit hall when for a brief second just before disappearing behind the wall there, something silver and sparkling caught his eye. Ace decided to follow his gut and quickly started to walk towards the hall. He had to push his way a little harder around people as his instinct was telling him that something was not oaky.

When he finally made his way outside it took him a second to spot her and for his blood to started boiling. She was almost a street away, but he could recognise her even if she was standing miles away. His hands tightened into fists and jaw clenched when he saw some guy dragging her with him with his filthy hands roaming all over her body. Ace waisted no more seconds and ran towards her and the man catching up with them in no time.

“If I were you, I would let her go.” His voice was as sharp as knife. Now that he was this close to them, taking look at (Y/N)’s almost numb body and seeing the disorientation in her eyes which she was barley keeping open, he was ready to kill the guy on the spot.

“Fuck off, man. She is little tipsy that is all.” The guy spat at Ace.

The things that unfollowed after were so fast, if someone was looking and if they blinked, they could have missed what happened. The moment these words left the guy’s mouth Ace stopped thinking, he just started to punch. The guy didn’t even have the time to react when Ace landed his first punch on his face, breaking his jaw and making the guy let her go as he couldn’t bare the ache he felt. But Ace didn’t stop there as he landed another punch on the guy’s face. Bringing him on the ground as he stared to lend punch after punch.

 He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such rage, he wasn’t just seeing red, Ace wasn’t seeing at all. This had only happened once before, and it was when Luffy came all beaten up and stabbed under his eyes after school one day when he was twelve. Both, Ace and Sabo found the guy who did that to their little brother and gave him a good lesson. If it wasn’t for Sabo to pull Ace back that time, he was probably going to kill the guy. Instead, he left him almost disabled, for which Ace was sued to pay him indemnification for ten years in a roll. But this time Sabo wasn’t there, no one was. The guy’s face was deformed at this point until he heard (Y/N)’s voice. He stopped immediately and looked at her. She was shaking uncontrollably, and her eyes were barely open. Ace jumped on his feet as fast as he could just on time to catch her before she hit the ground.

“No, no, no, doll.” He gently tapped her cheek, trying to wake her up. His knuckles were covered in blood. Kneeling with her on the ground while holding her body, Ace pulled out his phone and dialled emergency. The moment they picked up he explained the situation and gave the address. The ambulance was supposed to come any minute now. Ace could hear someone running behind him. He turned to look over his shoulder and saw Luffy and Zoro running towards him with the security as well.

“A-Ace...” Luffy’s eyes widen at the sight in front of him. “What happened?” Everyone was stunned. No one knew what to say or do at the scene in front of them. Even Luffy and Zoro who had many street fights behind their backs had never saw such brutal view. One of the club’s guards even threw up when he looked at the guy’s face who was laying on the ground coughing blood.

“This piece of shit drugged her.” Ace spat still furious. “This is what happened.” He looked at his brother in the eyes.

“We need to call the police and you sir will be in trouble.” Said the other security as he pulled up his phone, but it was snatched quickly from his hand and crushed on the ground by Zoro.

“You take your weak friend, and you walk off, before you follow this guy’s fate, okay?” Zoro’s voice was deep, his eyes were filled with warning for the guards to just walk off and let them deal with the situation. “You better go and keep the wandering eyes away.” He nodded with his head towards the direction of the club where people started to gather with wondering eyes. The security decided to listen to Zoro and quickly went back to the club. The ambulance siren could be heard coming from around the corner.

“Luffy.” Ace said as he got up on his feet with (Y/N) in his arms. “Call Shanks.”

**********

Shanks came out of the hospital room and looked at Ace with stern eyes. He drew in a deep breath before he sighed.

“Thank you, Ace.” He said as he patted Ace on the shoulder.

“How is she?” Ace asked, his voice low. He looked at the window from which he could see (Y/N) laying on the hospital bed.

“She will be okay once they clean her blood. Do you know how it happened?” Shanks glanced at Ace as he was rubbing his temples.

“No, no one knows. I just went looking for her, as the last thing she said to someone was to Nami that she was going to the toilet.” Ace said not moving his eyes from (Y/N). It pained him seeing her in such state. And he was mad at his brother’s friends. How could neither of the girls go with her? Why did she go alone in a first place? How she even ended up drugged by this guy? Didn’t she know to not accept drinks from strangers? Ace was mad at her as well. Because if he didn’t catch the glimpse of her sparkling skirt in that second before she left the club, he didn’t want to think of the things that could of happen to her. His fist clenched, he should have killed that man right there on the spot. Instead, he was still breathing somewhere, and the broken jaw and nose wasn’t enough for a payback.

“Ace.” Shanks called out his name, taking him out of his thoughts. “You can go home. I’m here so she is safe.” Ace side-eyed Shanks not moving from his spot. “And don’t worry no case will be open or anyone would find out that you beat this piece of shit up. I have taken care of it.” This was the last thing Ace was worried about right now.

“Still into the shady business, Shanks?” Ace snorted turning his head to look at Shanks.

“You are not the one to speak.” Shanks bit back.

“I’ve been clean for the past two years now.” Ace’s voice was filled with mockery.

“Ha, you have always been ballsy Ace, but don’t push your luck.” Shanks came closer to Ace. Their height being the same, they looked at the other with too much ego and pride. “Look, Ace. You are not a bad kid, and you know I like you and I would cover for you no matter what...” Shanks took a step back as he didn’t want to fight with Ace as he meant it when he said that he liked Ace as a person. He knew the kid for a long time, and he had a lot of good qualities. “But she is my niece, and you are a player. Whatever is going between you two you better cut it before you get her heartbroken.”

“Nothing is happening, Shanks.” Ace responded as he crossed his arms over his chest. “And I’m not leaving until she wakes up.” This was the last thing Ace said to Shanks as he turned to face the window again. He was tired but he wasn’t going to leave until (Y/N) opened her pretty eyes.

“You are as stubborn as he was...” Shanks knew how these words would affect Ace. He saw the way his jaw clenched, and his muscles flexed under his shirt, but Ace didn’t say anything. Instead, he ignored him, pretending like he heard nothing. Pretending like he didn’t know who Shanks was comparing him to.

END NOTE: I hope you guys liked the chapter and if you did feel free to leave your comments about how it made you feel as I was a little afraid how this chapter might unfold and if this type of stuffs are okay with you to read. I promise there will be no more such 'drugged' scenario, but I can guarantee you that everything that I write has logic behind it for the upcoming events in the story. I also thought it was time for Reader to realise her feelings for Ace, and the whole cake part came up so unexpectedly in my mind I really hope you enjoyed it ♡ Like, comment or reblog if you liked it, and as always A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO READ IT ♡

writing, format & dividers © eand47 fanart @a_phu14 on IG ©eand47, do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[saerins]

─── & 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4k | content: slight angst, established relationship, friends/exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, breakup, mentions of jealousy, implied adults here

notes: DISCLAIMER I HAVENT WRITTEN PROPERLY IN A WHILE so it’s probably quite shitty but i missed him ok !!! T_T sobs i hope you guys like this one <3

summary: sae’s still learning the ropes on being in a relationship, and sometimes you think you can’t wait any longer. but this is itoshi sae, maybe you can.

sae hates this sickly tension in the air.

your brows are furrowed and you’re biting your lower lip; it’s the look of confusion that he’s not very used to, but is most aware of anyway. it’s the look you always carry when you’re upset and conflicted and you’re trying not to say any more than you already have on the off chance that you’d cry after you do.

it’s not your fault for getting jealous—sae knows that. all it is is an unfortunate byproduct of him not being around as much as you need him to. but in his head, his mind tells him one thing only: how can you expect him to when that’s what his career entails?

didn’t you know that before agreeing to be his girlfriend?

maybe you’re painfully aware of how it’s neither of your faults, and maybe that’s why you’re really confused. because there’s no one to blame. sae wasn’t to blame for having to show up at an event with some famous actress. he was doing his job. he had told you not to go, but somehow oliver had taken it upon himself to invite you anyway.

“i’m at every event with a different girl, the tabloids wouldn’t suspect a thing about her being your girlfriend, right?”

famous last words because sae’s going to have to kill him one day for that.

beside you on the couch, sae’s head falls to his hands, elbows propped on his knees. it’s not your fault either, he realises, for not being able to take it when you experience firsthand how people gush over him and saiko, the actress. you aren’t used to this life. maybe you shouldn’t have to.

“i don’t know what to do anymore, sae.”

after an entire hour of arguing how he should at least talk to you about these things instead of throwing them under the rug, after an entire hour of how sae tried to defend himself by saying he couldn’t possibly read your mind—you’re both exhausted.

“well i don’t fucking know neither,” he confesses, half snaps, and his head is still in his hands. he knows you’re looking at him, wanting to search his expression for answers that he can’t give verbally. but sae doesn’t want you to see him like this, unsure and conflicted, almost as much as you.

through your eyes, you’ve never felt more rejected than you do when you look at your entire world and see it refuse to let you in. his hair is a mess now, from running after you in the rain, his expression is unreadable and his clothes soaking through his body. sae is always like this when there’s a fight—always avoiding the hard conversations.

and maybe you would’ve let it slide if you’re sure of his feelings for you, but you’re not. you’ve been friends with sae for three years, been together with him for six months. but in all this time, he’s never actually told you how he feels for you. not a small utterance of his love, or any indication of his feelings through text.

no matter how strong or optimistic you are, you aren’t sure if you can last any longer like this.

“sae, can you answer me honestly?”

he doesn’t say a thing, but you know he’s listening. he always does. which is why it hurts even more when he doesn’t do anything whenever you argue. because you know that out of everyone, itoshi sae best knows what you need.

but he won’t do it.

“do you still want this?”

a suffocating silence blankets the room, and after an agonising two minutes, you get your answer in his silence.

slowly, you get up off the couch, and you can almost laugh at why your impending departure is the only thing that can make him look at you.

“i’m sorry, sae, i can’t do this anymore,” you tell him, smiling even though you’re crying, and for a moment, the way he widens his beautiful teal eyes and how he instinctively reaches out to grab your wrist almost breaks you. but you’ve decided, and it’s too late now. “i’ll find an apartment and move out as soon as i can.”

when sae watches you retreat to your shared bedroom and lock the door, he realises by the plunging of his heart that he’s not okay with this. that he’s not okay with letting you leave. it’s stupid why he can’t even find the fucking words to say because he does, he does want this.

that’s why he rushes to the door, knocks rapidly in succession only to hear silence in return. and now he knows exactly how you feel. you’ve always been the vocal one, always been there—armed with your assurances that you never realised he needed, coupled with your smile that drives every negativity in his head away.

“y/n, open the door,” sae tries, but you don’t respond. he hears the tap switching on and he’s cursing himself in his head. his forehead presses against the white wooden surface, unable to bring himself away. “y/n, talk to me.”

for the first time since he met you, you don’t listen.

the next morning is even more torturous than the night sae spent not sleeping.

when you finally come out of the room, you feel like a stranger. your hair’s done up, your makeup fresh, the smile on your face is still gone.

“morning.”

your eyes flick up to meet his as you walk to the kitchen, but they don’t light up like they used to. he can see you swallowing the lump in your throat before you choke out a good morning in return, though it’s strained.

have you been crying all night?

“listen, can we talk about last night?” sae asks, but it’s futile.

the way you close the fridge door carelessly sits uncomfortably with him, only because he feels like he recognises you even less. the way you smile after that is so forced he would rather you didn’t.

“oh right, about that, good news,” you try to sound chirpy, but it settles awkwardly between the both of you. “i managed to find some listings, so i’m gonna go check them out. fingers crossed i’ll be out of your hair soon!”

you’re prancing around the kitchen like a madwoman, humming tunes he doesn’t know and playing the part of not you all too well.

“y/n, i don’t want you to—”

“stop, sae,” you cut him off, heart broken and head buried in the cupboard.

he saunters to your side, not daring to get too close to you, afraid you’d just retreat further away. “tell me what i can do.” a part of him wants you to ask him that question again, so that he can answer now. so that he can tell you how he really feels.

but it doesn’t come. you’re just staring blankly at the wall.

when his gaze falls to your neck, he realises that necklace he gave you isn’t there like it used to be everyday. his heart sinks even further. “you’re not wearing it anymore?”

it’s stupid of him to expect you to. as of last night, you both were as good as broken up, after all.

“y/n, can we talk? i really—”

“sae, enough,” you utter through gritted teeth. “i don’t want to hear it anymore.”

—love you. that’s what he wants to say. but you’re past caring, it seems.

sae’s lips are sewn tightly shut after that, both of you eating breakfast in silence. you’re eating what you cooked, some sausages and a sunny egg and toast while sae’s stuck with cereal because you usually do all the cooking.

you don’t look at him, and he doesn’t look at you. the hands on the analog clock are all either of you hear aside from your own chewing.

“at least let me drive you,” sae says as you head for the door, slipping into your sneakers.

your hand hovers over the doorknob, as though you’re considering it, and for a minute sae is hopeful, but then the next minute, you pour water over his fire.

“it’s fine, i can manage fine on my own.”

for some reason, sae feels like you’re telling him that for much more than just today.

days pass and you’ve barely spoken two words to each other. sae finds himself taking the chance to look at you much more than he has before; you still look tired. maybe it’s from all the house visiting, or maybe it’s the outcome of being with him. he’s still not okay with you moving, with you not being in his life, but sae’s stuck at a loss of what to do.

you’d been spearheading this relationship all this time that now, sae has no idea what to do. any attempt at a conversation is thwarted by you, and any time he comes near you, you relegate to the room and lock yourself in there.

sae’s taken his necessities and moved to the guest bedroom, and he thinks it’s so stupid to think that sleeping in a different room is better than being at a different apartment altogether.

but how long until you find a suitable apartment and move out? how long until sae has zero chance at being able to see you again?

“that sounds like a you problem though.”

as sae sits across the booth and deadpans at his younger brother, he thinks maybe the most useless thing you’ve ever done is repairing their relationship. especially with rin mumbling useless shit like that.

“yeah, thanks for the help,” sae rolls his eyes, watching as rin pops a nugget into his mouth.

“why didn’t you answer her then?” rin surveys his older brother’s movements; uncomfortable, awkward, reserved. he’s amazed that anyone can get sae like this, if he’s honest. he doesn’t usually give a shit about anything that doesn’t concern himself.

sae sighs. if he knew, he wouldn’t be here. he’d be with you, trying to explain how fucked up he is and why he didn’t say shit when he should’ve. but now, you won’t even give him the chance to talk without shutting yourself away.

rin groans, thoroughly annoyed because unbeknownst to his brother, you’d already filled rin in on everything. besides, you’re kind of already like a sister to him anyway. and you’re better at being an older sibling than sae is, granted.

“do you still want her though?” rin asks. it’s kind of tiring, being in the middle, being told by both parties to not say a thing to the other. he’s also tired of sae and his cryptic messages when he wants advice but is too proud to outright ask for it. and also of you whining in his messages about how if sae keeps this up you can’t keep being strong about this anymore.

“yeah.”

sae’s answer is surprisingly simple, and rin is entirely unamused.

“yeah maybe i see why she left you.”

“excuse me?”

rin meets his brother’s gaze, unrelenting. “you still want her yet you’re here telling me about it instead of her. i think you’d win best boyfriend of the millenia award.”

rin is dripping with sarcasm and maybe if he wasn’t his brother sae would’ve already punched him. but by the end of the night, sae can only come to one conclusion; it’s his fault for not talking it out when he could. so he could either let you go, or try, just like you did before.

he’d have to do it tonight, unless he wants to wait another month after his match next week in the states. but if he does, you’d be gone by then, he knows it. so he has to make it tonight.

and he’s hopeful, because he’ll make it fucking work no matter what he has to do. he’s not going to back down that easily, not anymore. and he knows it’s late and it’s 11pm and you’re probably asleep but fuck, you’re just going to have to wake up when he pounds hard on the bedroom door.

which is exactly what he plans to do—wake you up, talk to you, and tell him how fucking stupid he is and that he’s sorry and he fucked up.

it probably won’t make up for all the times he failed to speak when he should’ve, but sae thinks it’s a start.

so he unlocks the front door and walks straight to your bedroom door, but when he reaches up to knock it, he realises it isn’t even locked. when he slowly opens the door, you aren’t even there.

sae knows what to expect, but he still opens the closet anyway. and all the drawers. and inspects the bathroom. but every trace of you is gone. even the photos in the living room that had been all framed up. it’s no longer there. you probably threw them somewhere.

fuck.

he’d chase you if he could, but you’re already long gone. his calls aren’t even going through—did you block him already? not even a goodbye note, nothing.

it’s useless, but he opens your chat thread anyway.

y/n, come back. i still want this.

but it reads undelivered.

it’s a long shot. a very, very, slim chance.

sae tries to take it anyway.

a month later, the moment he touches down and puts his luggage back at home, he grabs his car keys and makes a break for your favourite hangout; a cosy family cafe at the edge of the city, near your workplace. he’s taken you there many times before on your request, and if there’s anywhere he’ll find you, he bets it’s there.

after a whole agonising month of trying and failing to talk to you, sae’s still going to try. fuck it if you reject him after that—at least he gets to say he tried.

he sits at the cafe from noon till evening, five hours of occupying the spot at the corner—your favourite one because you say it shades from the sun and it’s easy to wave the waiter over.

sae’s beginning to think that you’re not coming today, but then he sees a familiar figure strolling into the cafe. it’s not you, but it’s your best friend, suzuki, if he remembers correctly. suzuki, the one with the black hair and sharp blue eyes because the moment she walks in, she spots him in the corner, a knowing smirk on her face.

“what’re you doing here?” she asks, without a greeting first, because you probably told her what happened and she’s probably not very happy with him.

sae sighs, feeling stupid sitting here for five hours. although at least, she’s confirmation that you’ll be here soon.

“eating.” weak excuse, but whatever.

suzuki cocks a brow, “sure you’re not just a pathetic loverboy waiting for my best friend?”

is this embarrassment even worth it anymore?

before suzuki can say any more, sae hears a very familiar voice speaking his name, and there it is again—all the negativity seeped out of him in an instant.

“y/n, hey,” he greets, as though you haven’t been avoiding him this whole time.

on your part, you acknowledge him, which is way better than what he expected (you storming out and running away from him).

“what’re you doing here?”

sae wants to talk to you, but with suzuki’s eyes glued onto him, it kind of ruins the mood. still, this is the most you’ve spoken in two months and he’s not about to pass that up.

“i wanted to talk to you,” he says, keeping his voice down. “meet me after dinner?”

there is hesitance in your eyes, but your gazes meet again and for the first time since that night, sae is greeted with your genuine smile—“yeah, sure.”

just like that he’s taken back to three years ago when he first met you, when he first saw you smile at him and instantly knew that he had to have you, somehow. sae’s stupid to have hurt you however he did, he knows that now.

but now, selfish as it is, he can only hope that you haven’t moved on yet.

sae puts your new address into his phone as you get into the car, fortunately agreeing to let sae drive you home.

“so, how’ve you been?”

it’s a stupid question to start with, and he hates himself for not getting to the point, but sue him; he’s still somehow afraid you’d shut him out straightaway if you knew what he really wanted to talk about.

your fingers rest awkwardly on your lap. sae can’t help but remember how they used to crawl over to the driver’s seat, resting on his thighs or teasingly curling his hair.

“i’m okay, finally left that job of mine.”

the one with the overbearing boss who micromanages way too much—yeah, sae remembers. he really wishes he’d treasured the little things more when he had them, like your small updates on your job and your family, or even the way you’d routinely text him everyday after work to see what he wanted for dinner.

“found a new one yet?”

you look out the window where you’d usually look at him. guess this is still awkward for you. “nope, but i’m working on it. i have a couple of interviews scheduled next week.”

“that’s nice,” sae responds, albeit half-heartedly because he’s never been good at conversations like these.

(on your end, you can’t help but realise how slow he’s driving even when there’s no other car in front of him. a part of your heart warms at the fact that maybe itoshi sae wants more time with you after all.)

“how about you? how was the match in london? heard you guys won by a huge margin.” (that’s a lie. you didn’t hear anything, you watched the match, stayed up late and all. nothing that sae needs to know.)

sae can tell you’re lying though, because you have that little habit where your ears twitch ever so slightly when you speak, and he chuckles softly. “it’s not a crime to watch my match, you know?”

your cheeks heat up—you really shouldn’t have asked anything at all. you whip your head towards him, sulking, “i didn’t watch it, okay?”

“sure, whatever you say,” sae tells you, feeling the tension lift off, feeling the normal you come back again. “how’s the new house?”

“it’s… okay. my roommate’s a little bit annoying but i can live with it.”

sae thought he could endure the small talk a little longer, but he can’t. not really. because the words just slip out of his mouth.

“then move back in with me.”

the car comes to a stop at a red light, and neither of you can look at each other. sae wonders if you’re just going to be impulsive and run out the door.

you don’t.

“it’ll be a little awkward living with an ex, don’t you think?”

“then all you have to do is get back with me,” sae answers, witty as you always remembered.

a moving car isn’t the best place to have this conversation, but if he doesn’t take the chance now, what if he loses it forever?

“i was stupid, okay? i don’t know why i didn’t say anything back then but the answer is yes, yes i do still want this- you.”

and it takes you aback slightly, because he’s never been one to be so vocal about his emotions. it kind of scares you a little too, how easily you fold when it comes to sae. it took everything in you to block his number that day, and everywhere else, and you’ve been hard at work trying to forget him, to the extent you’d agreed to room with some male even though you knew it was a bad idea.

but the moment you saw sae in that cafe, everything goes back to square one. and you’re kind of sick of lying to yourself—that the way you left didn’t leave a gaping hole in your heart, that the way you blocked him didn’t leave you chock full of regrets.

“maybe you should’ve said that before i left, then.” but you’re also stubborn, so there’s that.

sae pulls up outside of your new apartment complex right as the words leave your mouth, but his hand reaches out to grip your wrist after you unbuckle your seatbelt.

“i know i probably wasn’t a good boyfriend—” sae can’t bring himself to look at you as he speaks the words he thought would never leave his mouth— “but i promise i’ll work on it, ‘kay? just- don’t leave.”

again.

maybe in another life, you’re stronger than this. in that other life, maybe sae’s better at being expressive, better at reassuring you.

your eyes flick across the car to meet his, and he’s looking right at you, a sort of gaze that you’ve never really quite seen before—a mixture of both faith and fear. his grip on your wrist is firm, as if he’s afraid you didn’t believe him when he uttered those words.

“you make it very hard to stay broken up, you know that?” you’re pouting, hard, if only to try to keep yourself from smiling.

and the second you respond, the second he realises you didn’t reject him, his expression levels with that of a—how would you describe it, a golden retriever? as though he’s wagging his tail.

“so- you’re willing to give this a shot?”

you chew your inner cheek, “not so fast, hot shot. i’m not taking you back that easily.”

sae pulls back, cocking a brow, but he knows by the tone of your voice that his chance is at least granted. “what do you mean?”

you grin, “maybe i want you to chase me again, itoshi sae. can’t have you thinking i’m that easy to get, you know?”

your future boyfriend smirks, shaking his head. “you’re impossible, y/n l/n.” you hear nothing but fondness in his voice.

and just like the good boyfriend he envisions himself to be in the future, he walks you up to your doorstep, complete with giving a peck on your forehead when you arrive.

“how am i doing so far?”

“sae, it’s only been an entire elevator ride!” you laugh, sae pecking even more kisses onto your face. what makes this entirely more amusing is how he’s so straight-faced while doing it. “okay okay, i’ll rate you a six so far. you’re gonna have to do better on those dates you’ll ask me out on.”

he thinks you’re such a tease, but hey, he wouldn’t have you any other way.

when you open the door, you turn around to look at him, pressing your lips into a firm line before placing a quick kiss on his lips, making his heart skip two beats because he didn’t think you’d be so kind.

“see you soon, itoshi sae?”

sae nods, “yeah tomorrow.”

“someone’s eager,” you chuckle, though you agree to it. “see you tomorrow.”

bonus: the next day

“itoshi sae, you’re too much.”

you’re lugging your suitcase behind you, sae carrying one of the heavier boxes. he keeps quiet, a sullen expression on his face.

“we could’ve at least waited for the movers to be available, you know?” you sigh as you get into the lift, sae pressing the topmost floor—back to the apartment you shared after a mere month of living on your own.

sae’s expression is now tilted towards you, and you don’t need him to speak to know what he’s thinking.

“do i really deserve the silent treatment for this?”

you’re not really arguing, but having a little disagreement. a small part of you is happy you get to do this with sae again, and not anyone else. that just means you two are that much closer, still.

“as if i’m gonna let you continue living there.”

you scoff, “what are you talking about? that apartment was completely fine!”

sae raises a brow, completely aware that you’re not actually back together but not being able to help himself nonetheless. because like hell is he ever allowing you to live there ever again.

“don’t fucking care, you’re not living with that michael fucking kaiser ever again.”

[rebelwrites]

Only Over When We Are Sober

Jax Teller x Reader

Jax Teller Masterlist || Main Masterlist

Hello I know it has been a while 🥺 not sure if people still remember me but this song has been playing over and over in my mind along with this story. This isn’t me coming back to writing but this story was just hard to keep contained. Hope you enjoy ❤️

Jax stared at the ceiling, his head was spinning, the headache was starting to take over. It wasn’t the first time he woke up with a hangover, and just like all the times before the smell of your perfume was invading his senses.

He slowly started to open his eyes, letting himself adjust to the brightness of the dorm room, he always cursed himself for never fixing the blind. Reaching out he felt nothing but emptiness, it was the same feeling every time, it had become expected. Yet with each time it caused his chest to tighten, feeling his heart weigh heavy. Finally he propped himself up so he was leaning against the headboard before pulling a smoke to his lips. It was as if he was on autopilot, in a way he was, this was a routine he had gotten used to over the last six months.

Dropping his gaze he took a long drag of the cigarette, everywhere he looked there were reminders of you, the marks on the pillow case from you finally falling asleep with a full face of makeup on to the lonely hair tie that was currently sitting on the bedside table. He knew the two of you were a toxic mix but every weekend you both partook in the dance that had become so familiar. It had been over a year since you broke up but there was a pull, like moths to the flame you couldn’t stay away from each other.

The only time you stayed broken up was when you were both sober.

He knew you would have been long gone by now, it was always the same come morning. You would bolt from his dorm, ignoring everyone as you scurried out of the club house, retreating to the safety of your car. It was something he hated, you were the love of his life but for whatever reason the fire between the two of you burnt bright and strong and in turn caused you both to get burned.

“Thought you two had called it quits?” Gemma asked, appearing in the doorway holding a fresh mug of coffee for her son.

“Same old story,” the blonde shrugged, taking another drag of the cigarette, “we never believe it’s truly goodbye, always wanting closure. I guess that’s what you get when we have the same friends and run with the same crowds.”

Gemma could see the pain that her son felt, it was something that no matter how hard he tried to hide, his eyes told the whole story. Every Sunday morning the sparkle in his baby blue eyes had been extinguished when the harsh reality that the love of his life wasn’t his anymore came crashing down around him.

For the last month he had found himself looking forward to a Friday and Saturday night when the party would be in full swing. And tonight was no different.

He slipped onto the usual stool at the bar, lit a cigarette between his fingers and a bottle of whiskey sat in front of him, all whilst his eyes never moved from the clock behind the bar. With each second that passed he felt his heart rate double waiting for seven pm to strike.

Taking a deep breath you placed your hand on the cold metal door that led you down one path, the one that ended up with you tangled in Jax’s sheets even though you swear every week was the last. You just needed to move on but how could you when that boy was the only one to hold your heart.

Pushing the heavy door open, it felt like there was no one else in the room apart from you and Jax. Part of you hated that he still had such a hold over you.

Everything happened like it normally did, you’d ignore him at first, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t feel his gaze burning into your soul. You know that within the next hour you would be sharing shots and the dance would begin.

Soon enough you found yourself sliding onto the empty stool next to him, taking the lit cigarette from his fingers taking a long drag, before flipping over the shot glasses.

“I hate you, Teller,” you huffed, narrowing your eyes at him as you knocked the shot back.

“Ditto,” he hummed, holding his shot glass up in the air before following your actions, emptying the small glass before slamming it down on the bar top.

Three shots. That’s all it took for the “I hate you” turned into the “I miss you”.

Everyone thought it was over between the two of you, and for the most part it was but only when there wasn’t alcohol coursing through your veins.

“If this is love Jax then we are fucking bad at it,” you huffed, pouring two more shots of the amber liquid.

He half smiled, reaching out letting his hand settle on your bare thigh, his fingers slowly stroking your skin causing the hem of your dress to rise a little. Even now his touch still caused sparks to erupt across your skin, he left a fire in his wake and no one could compare to Jackson Teller.

Neither of you shared many words, both afraid that if you did speak then this unspoken agreement would end. You knew it probably should but you just couldn’t bring yourself to call quits on the man that held your heart in his hand and you knew you held his in yours.

The scowls quickly turned into soft smiles, touches started to linger, the sound of laughter cocooned the both of you and the level in the bottle was getting lower.

Everyone, including the crow eaters, knew to leave the two of you alone, as the clock ticked on the closer you and Jax got. You had moved from the bar to one of the booths and were now straddling him, both hands on the side of his face, fingers gently running through his beard.

No words were spoken, you were both getting lost in each other's eyes. The smirk on his face was growing, the feeling of his arms wrapped around the one person he would lay his life on the line for without a second thought. He took a deep breath, letting his gaze flick between your eyes and your lips, everything was in slow motion as you edged close to him, not stopping until your lips touched causing fireworks to ignite deep in both of your souls.

In one swift motion Jax adjusted his grip, pushing himself to his feet all whilst not pulling away from the kiss. Maneuvering his way through the clubhouse, he savored this moment because for the next two nights the world would feel right again with you in his arms.

Even though come Sunday morning, he knew the cycle would start all over again, because when it came to you and Jax it was only over when you were both sober.

@chibsytelford @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @withmyteeth @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @princess76179 @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @princess76179 @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @lmao-liz @babypink224221 @daddysgirl2857 @bravo-four-seal-team @garbinge @pedrohoe04 @littlekittymeow @nichia88-blog @zozebo

[wonwoonlight]

chocolate rum cookies | jeon wonwoo

➝ Wonwoo x Reader

➝ nonidol!au // friends with benefits to ?? // fluff // ...slice of life? // angst if u squint

➝ word count: 3.5k~

➝warning: no smut scenes but there are mentions of sex and implications of it so minor dni!! mentions of alcohol, food, curses. very self indulgent bc i write this for my birthday hehe. this wonwoo made an appearance <3

➝A/N: hi. so this wasn't exactly... planned. i was just randomly sitting down with my google doc open and suddenly i finished writing... this in one day. gotta say that, when you do write for yourself, it is much easier to write and it's been quite some time since i'm actually happy with what i put out. but also just to put it out there, this fic is actually finished somewhere before february ended but i decided to post it for my birthday because i did start writing it with the thoughts 'i miss wonwoo' and 'i kinda wanna post smth on my bday' so. enjoy. i'm happy to say i'm content with how this one turns to be. here's to turning 25 lol

[✾✾✾]

You hear the door open, signalling Wonwoo’s arrival, and when you feel his presence nearby, you don’t even look up from your phone when you say, “No.”

Wonwoo smiles in amusement, irking an eyebrow as he settles next to you. “I haven’t said anything though?”

“You’re gonna ask me out again.” You roll your eyes, already used to his antics. You don’t even pretend to care about his mock heartache anymore when he clutches his chest.

You’re not sure what Jeon Wonwoo has in his mind, but he’s been asking you out on dates everytime he sees you since last month. Problem is, you see him a lot. A little hard not to with the friends with benefits situation that has been going on between you and him for the last six months.

Even right now, you’re in his place. You’ve been here since almost half an hour ago, entertaining yourself as you wait for Wonwoo to get home because he’s out when you called, and when he said you’re allowed to use the access he’s given you some time ago, you decided to barge into his place like it’s your own.

You’re practically here more often than in your own dorm, anyway.

It almost feels like a second home to you.

But you don’t want to think too much about it. Not about the fact that you have access to Wonwoo’s place. Not about the fact that you’re basically exclusive. Not about the fact that you talk to him practically everyday.

Nope.

“You don’t even pretend to consider it anymore.” He sighs, and you hate that you can’t tell if he’s joking or not. You’ve been telling him to cut it out, but it surely doesn’t look like he has any plans of listening to you. “Here, I got this for you.”

Now that catches your attention, and you actually jump a little on the sofa before you take the small package, take Wonwoo’s face in your arms, and kiss him square in the lips as a thank you.

“You won’t go on a date with me but will kiss me over some cookies. Nice,” he grumbles, though the grin blooming into his face when you pull away betrays him.

Clutching the cookie into your chest like it’s the most precious thing in the world, you regard him with stars in your eyes. “Where did you even find this? I’ve been looking for this forever and I couldn’t find it! I don’t even know the name of the shop that sells this?”

“I’m just capable like that.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, telling you he was out with a friend and the packaging looked familiar so he got it just in case. You’ve been telling him about that craving of yours, a chocolate rum cookie that some random classmate offered some time ago–one that is so good but you don’t know the brand, only remember the flavour and the packaging.

And you can’t even ask that classmate again because she was an exchange student that you’ve only spoken for a total of two times in your life, and she has returned to her country.

You don't even know her name.

“You have to tell me where you got this.” The packaging just has to be so empty; a very simple but elegant design that doesn’t state the shop’s name whatsoever.

“Mmm. Perhaps if you say yes I’ll bring you there.”

“No.”

“Hard pass then.” He chuckles and messes your hair. “Eat. I’ll buy you some more if you’re a good girl.”

The innuendo is not purposeful on his part, and it’s two seconds later that he realizes what he’s just said and he cringes so hard that you laugh, because as much as it’s physical between the two of you, Wonwoo absolutely abhors that particular… moniker. It’s always been an on-going joke between you two, and you laugh some more when his frown deepens, launching yourself into his lap and peppering kisses on his jaw.

“You want me to be one?”

“Shut up.” He grunts, though his arms wrap around your waist anyway and he bends his neck to give you more access.

“I can be if you want to, you know?” You whisper against his ear, not missing the way his hold tightens around you. You’re suddenly very aware of the fact that the only thing separating you and him is the clothes you’re wearing.

“Shut up.” He repeats and kisses you some more. When it gets almost hard to breath, he doesn’t forget to get the cookie out of your grasp and carefully places it on the coffee table before hauling you up and carrying you into his room, your squeal and laughter echoes throughout his empty apartment.

You don’t get to eat your chocolate rum cookie until later that evening, already showered and dressed in Wonwoo’s oversized hoodie as you cuddle into his chest with a movie playing in front of you.

[✾✾✾]

You don’t know what’s taking Wonwoo so long, but he’s already fifteen minutes late without any text messages so you decide you’ll just get some drink first and let loose. He’s probably going to be pissed because he’s never liked it when you go to a bar by yourself (something about men looking at what’s his, whatever that means) but whatever, it’s his fault for being late and you’re currently not relaxed enough to wait for him by yourself in a place full of people. 

The whiskey burns your throat in a pleasant way, though now that you think about it, you shouldn’t have drunk everything in one go when you still have moments to spare as you wait for Wonwoo. But, then again, you can always just order more.

You’ve never been to this bar before, but after hearing how good the vibe is from a friend, you decided to go to check it out. Clubs have never really been your style–people are way too drunk and the music is too loud.

Your friend is absolutely correct when she said you would fit right with this particular bar; there are just enough people for it to be crowded but not really crowded that you get dizzy. Plus, the music is up to your taste and you find yourself nodding to whatever’s playing in the background as you scan through the sea of people while you lean on the wooden bar.

You were just about to order again when someone joins you by the bar, a tall, handsome man that doesn’t look sleazy at first glance. And he’s offering to buy you a drink. You subtly try to check him out; this guy is definitely taller and bigger than Wonwoo, though he doesn’t look harmful and he doesn’t look like he’s hunting for prey. His smile when he offers to pay for your drink looks… honest, if anything. The guy doesn’t even look flirty. Perhaps he thinks you’re interesting and are in need of some company.

The side of your lips lift in an amused smile, Wonwoo will be pissed as fuck if he finds out, but do you care? No you don’t. You’re not going to turn down free drinks from a handsome stranger that doesn’t look dangerous.

“So how come you’re by yourself?” He bends to your height, not too close that it makes you uncomfortable, and just enough for you to hear him over the music. “I’m Mingyu, by the way.”

Hmm. Handsome and with manners.

“Why do you want to know?” You answer with a teasing smile, sipping on your cocktail. Mingyu laughs when you say you’re not telling him his name, if only because he hasn’t earned it yet, and you’re pleasantly surprised when he says it’s understandable and he’s glad you know how to play your cards. “What about you, why are you by yourself?”

“Eh. I just feel like drinking tonight and you seem to be someone who doesn’t mind talking to strangers.”

“Ouch. Is that how I look like? Easy?” You pretend to be offended, and it’s almost cute how Mingyu laughs yet again and rephrases his words. If this was you six months ago, you’d definitely flirt with him and eat up everything that comes out of his mouth, perhaps you’d even end up going back with him. The guy is handsome and you can actually hold conversations with him, which is already a very big difference compared to a lot of guys that have tried talking you up in places like this.

But alas. Your eyes twinkle as you catch the figure of the man who’s the exact reason why you’re not flirting with Mingyu making his way towards you, why you don’t feel the excitement that used to rush through your blood at times like this, and why ‘handsome’ is the only thing you think of Mingyu even though he seems much more than that.

You don’t care enough to think about Mingyu in different aspects.

The way Wonwoo immediately grabs your waist is almost funny, and you have to actually bite your lip and clutch the cocktail glass between your fingers to stop yourself from grinning. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Your boyfriend?” Mingyu asks goodnaturedly–almost concerned, even–making sure he’s not some random guy who’s grabbing you without consent. 

“Yes.” Wonwoo almost growls, and you have to plant your palm on his chest to calm him down, telling him Mingyu is harmless even though your ears are heating up from his word. You’d need to get back to that boyfriend thing later.

Mingyu sends you a look, and you’re absolutely, thoroughly would’ve swooned if you’re… uh… single (you are) and you’re not seeing… anyone (huh?). But you send him a smile, an actual smile this time, and you nod before you tell him it’s nice meeting him.

Wonwoo refuses to look at the interaction, but you can tell that he’s more relaxed than he was seconds ago and his grip on your waist is now replaced with his thumb caressing you through the material of your dress.

Would it hurt to push his button one more time?

“Hey.” You call to Mingyu once again when he’s about to leave, making both guys turn to you in confusion–Wonwoo more so in betrayal–and when you tell him you’d love to see him again someday and finally tell him your name with a wink, Mingyu gets exactly what you’re playing at. Another laugh bubbles out of his throat and he returns the gesture with a ‘have fun!’ before making his way out of your sight.

“What the fuck was that?”

It’s not often that Wonwoo curses, and you know you’ve pushed just enough of his buttons for him to react this way. If anything, though, adoration fills your chest and you have to physically hold yourself back from squeezing his cheeks.

“What? You were late and he accompanied me. Nice guy, right?” You try to play innocent, placing your glass on the bar and turning in his arm to face him. He looks especially nice today, with his hair styled a little and a denim jacket that you haven’t seen him worn before. You can feel your heartbeat picking up the longer you stare at him, and you don’t register what’s coming out of his mouth because you’re lost in your head.

Your eyes fall to his lips, and it’s when he clicks his tongue that you finally look back at him, eyes meeting his in mock innocence.

“You’re not listening to me, are you?”

You shake your head to confirm his suspicion. The guy can't even get mad at you even if he wants to.

“So.” Wonwoo raises his eyebrow in question, urging you to continue. “Boyfriend, huh?”

Wonwoo opens his mouth to say something, but you don’t give him room to talk more because you already dive into his lips, your palms on his shoulders and his arms wrap around you once again–probably muscle memory at this point. There’s no rush in this kiss though, you really just feel like kissing him and you do exactly that. Wonwoo doesn’t seem to mind either, because his lips chase yours when you’re about to pull away.

“Won I–”

“Hmm?”

“I need to–”

“Mmm.”

“Need to–”

“To what?” He finally pulls away, annoyed that you keep on trying to pull away. Even in the dim lighting of the bar, you can tell that he’s a little flushed too and there’s something about it that makes your heartbeat speed up once again. Were you two just… kissing in a public space for no reason at all?

“Need to breathe, baby.” You finish your sentence, suddenly shy now that you’re looking at each other. You dive into his neck before he catches your embarrassment though, and he simply chuckles before he takes a sip of your drink, whatever annoyance in his chest from looking at you and Mingyu, whoever that guy is, disappears just like that.

God, it’s not funny how whipped he is for you.

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Not a chance.” You beam, though you reject him with a kiss on his cheek and you tell him to finish your drink because you don’t feel like being here anymore. You won’t let him ponder too long on your rejection though, your fingers caressing his neck and your lips finding his ear. “Actually, let’s go back to your place. I don’t have anything to do tomorrow.”

Wonwoo shudders a little at that, still not used to the way you’d get vocal about what you want when you’re tipsy. That’s your code of saying you want to have rough sex all night–or however he would have you, really.

So Wonwoo finishes your drink in one go and grabs your hand to pull you out of the bar, missing the way you exchange grins with Mingyu as you accidentally catch his eyes before you exit the place.

[✾✾✾]

“You know you’ll spend less money if you just tell me where to buy these cookies?” You pout, still trying to get it out of him.

He doesn’t relent though, simply shrugs and places your hot chocolate on the table. “I don’t mind buying you things.”

“But whyyyy.” You whine, crossing your legs to face him on the sofa.

“I told you I’d bring you there if you go on a date with me.”

You stare at him, mind wandering to how easy it is for him to say this over and over again. You still don’t know why he’s suddenly so adamant about that, and while you actually do feel butterflies in your whole body everytime he does it, sometimes you wonder if he’s just messing with you.

Does he really mean it?

But if he does, wouldn’t he eventually be done with you because you keep on rejecting him?

But if you say yes and he’s actually just joking–what does that make you?

What if you try it out and it… messes things up?

You’re happy with whatever you have with him now, and you trust each other enough to know you are exclusive. Is there really any need to put a label between you two?

“Hey, you okay?” He asks, snapping you out of your daze.

“Huh. Yeah, sorry. You were saying?”

You see the way Wonwoo presses his lips together and you can tell the gears are turning in his head. But he beats you to it before you can ask, and your heart breaks a little at how soft he sounds.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“What? No!” You sit straight, taken aback from the sudden turn of the conversation. “What makes you say that?”

Wonwoo sighs and repeats his words. But he faces you this time and, for the first time since he asked you the question he’s been asking you the past few months, it’s obvious how unsure he is, as if he’s suddenly questioning himself on what he’s been doing.

“Am I making you uncomfortable by asking you out on a date?”

“Oh… Wonwoo…” You take his hand, your desire to comfort him bigger than anything. You don’t like seeing him like this, and as much as your own thoughts have been haunting you, you suppose you do need to talk about it one way or another. “No, you’re not. But… Can I ask you something?”

He doesn’t answer, but you take the way he squeezes your hand as a ‘yes’.

“Why?”

He doesn’t seem to get your question, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean why?”

“Why do you suddenly want to date me?”

It’s almost comical the way he blinks slowly, then repeatedly, like he doesn’t get why you’d ask that. He thinks carefully before he says his next words though, and he mentally winces at what he’s about to say but there’s really no other way to say it.

“We’ve been… sleeping together for, like, six months.” He starts, and his face contorts like the words personally offend him. But the more you listen to him talk about all the things you’ve been doing the past few months, how you’re basically a couple without the title, the more you feel both warm and afraid about however this talk is going to end.

You don’t realize you’ve been holding his hand tighter, but he doesn’t say anything and you realize how protective you actually feel of Wonwoo because it doesn’t sit well with you that he seems to consider himself so small.

“It’s not… sudden. I’ve just finally gathered enough courage to ask you.”

“I’m afraid.” You throw it out there the moment you open your mouth, not sure how to tell him except to just go straight to the point.

“Of what?”

“Falling in love.” You cast your eyes down to where your hand and his are joined. “Of being attached to you.”

For a moment, the air around you seems to tense ten-fold that you’re sure you can cut through it with a knife. But when Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, you brace yourself for more honesty and continue.

“I’m… already attached to you more than I thought I could be with anyone. And it scares me sometimes. What if you leave me? I think I’d be able to cope better if you decide to end things with our current… relationship than an actual one. It scares me.”

You feel his hand letting go of yours, and you panic that he’s finally had enough, but he cups your face in his palms to calm you down, and as much as you’re anxious, you can feel yourself calming under his gaze.

“If you want me to be honest, I think I already like you more than whatever you probably feel for me.” He smiles so softly you almost cry. And when you’re about to refute his words, he gently places his finger on your lips to keep you silent. “And no, that’s not something I want to debate with you. I’m fine with liking you more. I want to like you more than you like me. Will you let me do that?”

You open your mouth to say something–anything, but nothing comes out except for your tears so you simply nod and fall into his embrace. Your tears dry up almost immediately after that, but you sniffle a little as his words echo in your mind. Wonwoo probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about, because you’ve liked him for as long as you can remember. Probably not long after you started your deal with him.

He doesn’t know how you melt every time he takes care of you. How you’d try to stay awake longer after he falls asleep after another night of passionate sex, his arm over your body and your back against his chest, just so you can pretend it’s real between you two. How you’d remind yourself that it’s not real when you wake up in his place even though you’d still drag yourself out to make breakfast for him, willing your heart to calm down when he wakes up moments later, hugging you from behind even though you tell him to move away.

You probably already love him more than he can imagine.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” You ask once you’ve calmed down, getting out of his embrace to look into his eyes.

“Nothing. Why?” He tilts his head, a little confused at the sudden change of topic.

“Let’s go on a date?” You ask shyly, though your eyes immediately cast downwards again once you realized you can’t handle looking him in the eye as you ask him this. But that’s why you missed the way his face blooms into a grin, missed the way his eyes suddenly twinkle brighter than every single star in the universe combined. “I think you promised to tell me where you buy those cookies if I go on a date with you.”

He laughs at that and throws his arms around you, so tight that it hurts a little. But you don’t say anything, happy that you’re here in his arms and a little giddy now that everything’s out of your chest.

Wonwoo pulls away and cups your face once again, then searches for something in your face before he closes his eyes and gives you the softest kiss you’ve ever experienced in your life. A promise. One that says he’s not going to leave and he’s going to try his best to remove every single doubt you have in your mind.

[✾✾✾]

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don't allow any translations or reposting of my works.

A/N 2: and for my birthday wish, hopefully i'll get to see you even once in this lifetime.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Questioning

:3 We are back! And The chaos? The chaos is getting closer and closer. @spotaus

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

Lets see how good Crop and Straw are at improv.

*----------------*

Hello Journal.

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I was already asleep when I got home.

Yesterday was fun! We did some of the last preparations for the grapes for the colder months and after that we went to Ccino’s!

Ccino had once again locked up shop so it was just us six in there! He also made this amazing new cupcakes for us to try and eat. They were really good. After the snack we went to relax with the cats.

Killer quickly got covered by cats and I think dad couldn’t be happier. He just laid there smiling and unmoving. Cross reassured me that he is fine.

I hugged my own cat version for a while and my dad’s cats also came over to sit and cuddle with me. They all also checked on kitten me before starting to snuggle with me.

It was nice to see my dads relax as well. Just relaxing and making small talk. It is always nice to be at Ccino’s.

It took me a while but I eventually found my old cat in the cupboard behind the counter.

My old cat is still tired a lot and I really wanted to help him. I remembered that we all figured that he is connected to the apples instead of me anymore. And well… the doctors told me that I no longer really use the apple magic anymore as my own magic had seemed to take it back.

So… I may have tried to… give whatever apple magic I had left over to the cat.

My dads weren’t amused. Ccino wasn’t happy either.

The cat is fine! He is a lot more energetic and stronger again! The tails move more and everything!

Tiny downside… euh… the scars on my skull are now permanently visible. Which caused quite the bit of panic with Ccino.

So I may be slightly grounded now. Not allowed to leave the nest and everything. We already went by Fauna for a quick exam but she said I am fine. That the ‘invasive’ magic is all gone. But she worries that my normal magic can’t do it all by itself.

So I need to take it easy again. Which all circles back to me being grounded.

Which means I am not allowed to help around the farm or house at all and I am once again limited from walking.

I don’t mind it. I feel fine if only a bit tired. But now the old cat version of me is fine at least!

Oh. Dad just ran in and he is calling for a meeting.. I wonder what is going on. I will give you an update later.

NM.

--

Crop blinks as he hears his old name shouted. He shoots Straw a look and Straw looks confused as well before both turn around. Crop feels his soul lock up. That… That are Blue and Dream.

Oh no. They have found them?! How?

Straw frowns but shoots him a look and looks thoughtful.

Blue stops before them and grins “Hi Sans. Hi Papyrus!”

Crop sees his brother grin and Straw answers “Hello mysterious person who knows our names yet we do not know.” and he waits.

Blue laughs and nods “Yeah sorry for that. I am just exciting as we have been looking for you guys!” Dream joins them and looks so relieved.

Crop sends his bro a look and Straw sees it.

Straw hums and puffs up his chest “Of course you were looking for me! I am an amazing farmer and many people wish to hear my advice! I have many admires across the globe!”

Blue looks shocked before holding up his hands “Oh no! Not that! We just have some questions which we hope you two can help us with.”

Crop gives a nod “Farming stuff I guess? There are different type of farms and we don’t know about all of them.”

Dream smiles “Can we go somewhere a bit more… private? People are staring.”

Yeah. Crop is not surprised. He can see people keep an eye on them and glaring at the two new arrivals. But saying no would just look more suspicious and like they are trying to hide something.

Seems like Straw made the same conclusion as he cheerfully agrees and they go to the parking lot to talk as it is usually rather quiet. As Straw points things out to the two Crop quickly grabs his phone to check. Only to see about twenty messages all warning him about the strangers in town. Woops. He should check his phone more often. That is a problem for later. For now he quickly finds the guys number and calls them quickly.

It rings twice before Horror picks up “Hello? Horror speaking.”

Crop needs to be vague but still obvious “Hey! I am a bit delayed in town. Some new skeletons walked into town and they are asking for some advice. We will still be in time for lunch!”

Dead silence on the other side before a soft thanks is muttered and Horror hangs up.

Crop just nods to himself as he speaks “Nah it shouldn’t take long. At least.” he acts as if he keeps the mouth piece covered as he looks at Blue and Dream “You two don’t need our help for long right? I had lunch planned with some friends.”

Blue and Dream share a look but shake their skulls.

Crop nods and puts the phone back to the side of his skull “Yeah it shouldn’t take long. Yeah no worries Tori I will be there in time for lunch. See you later.” And he ‘hangs up’.

Dream looks deeply disappointed when he hears Toriel’s nickname and Blue pats his shoulder. Yeah that is what Crop figured.

Straw smiles brightly at the two “What can we help you with! I must admit I haven’t heard of anyone new moving into town!”

Blue shakes his skull “Oh no we aren’t moving in. Just.. looking.” He looks at Dream and waits.

Dream takes a deep breath and smiles “I am Dream, this is Blue, we are looking for my brother and his… friends.”

Crop takes special care to keep his face neutral as he listens.

Dream rubs his arm “It is nothing negative! We. I mean I…” he frowns and thinks “I made stuff into a mess and I need to talk with him.”

Straw tilts his skull “I mean… Why don’t you just call him? If you are brothers you probably have each other’s numbers right?”

Dream looks away pained “It… is a bit more complex than that… Euh…” He and Blue look at each other and share some looks and nods before Dream turns back to them after taking a deep breath “Ever heard of the multiverse theory?”

Crop and Straw share a look. The only reason they both know about it is because Horror took great effort to explain it all after his first stay with them and after he just disappeared again one day.

They both shake their skulls. Dream looks slightly more panicked before shaking his skull and breathing “Well… It is a theory that each decision we make is a branching point. And that one decision leads to one future and the other to another. And that while we pick one, the other future still exists. This is much bigger and complex to easily explain but it means that at any point in time there can be a thousand different you’s going through different things because of different choices, made by you or for you by others.”

They both give a nod.

Dream smiles and points between Blue and himself “We are from other universes. Where everything is so different that you wouldn’t even think we are similar. Blue is actually also Sans but from another universe and timeline.”

Blue laughs and shrugs “I go by Blue to make it easier.”

Dream nods.

Crop gives a slow nod “Okay… say we believe you and not that we think you should go to the hospital. Why are you looking for us?”

Straw hums and gives the thoughtful comment “Would explain why they know our names.”

Dream looks nervous “I am from a very strange universe and a lot happened. I have a twin brother and I am looking for him. We had… a fallen out and I realised some things I didn’t know before. I want to talk with him and apologise.”

That… surprises Crop but he can’t help but not believe it “Really? You want to apologise? Look. I don’t know you and for all I know you are just trying to get sympathy points.”

Dream shakes his skull “I am not! I swear I am not!” he reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of papers. A sneak inside shows that there are many more likewise paper packages in there. Dream pushes it into Straw’s hands and straw starts to curiously look through it.

Dream rubs his hands “I just… Blue managed to figure out that at least my brother’s friends visited this place. Have you seen any other skeletons?”

Crop doesn’t bother to answer as Straw nudges the papers into his hands. Crop starts reading it and stares. This… this is huge. The others. They need to know this.

Dream just keeps staring at them. Waiting.

Fuck. What does he say?

Straw is the one to answer “We don’t have an answer for you. Not yet.”

Blue looks up hopefully and grins “That just means you know something!”

Straw shakes his skull “No. It means we know nothing about you and no matter what we say will give you some kind of information that we are not comfortable giving you. So we are not giving you any answer. We need to look through this information and get it verified before we can even start to make a decision. You are invading our lives and demanding our assistance without even giving us a chance to consider the options. You will leave and leave us be until we considered what this could mean for us.”

Blue looks down and ashamed as Dream rubs his arm “Right… of course… I just… I really want-”

Straw huffs “Yes. You want something. And apparently you have no problem destroying someone’s whole world view and turning up someone’s entire existence to get it. Did you think that maybe we didn’t even want to know about all this universe stuff? That we were happy with our lives? That we didn’t want to be forced to consider these things? You are forcing our hand to think about these things. The least you can do is give us time to consider it all.”

Blue and Dream both flinch but both nod.

Straw nods “And stop trying to force others to consider these life changing things. Leave us be.” He holds out a hand “Give us a phone number to call once we considered this.”

Blue nods as he writes down the number. Still clearly embarrassed.

After which they both apologise and agree they shouldn’t have gone about it the way they did before leaving them.

Crop whistles when they leave “Good quick thinking Straw.”

Straw looks proud “Thank you! It helped that they just started explaining things without even considering what it could mean and do to us. A good way to shift the focus. At least for a short while…” he stares at the papers in his hands “We need to get this to them.”

Crop nods “Lets make sure they aren’t following us before we meet them. Then we can discuss it all together.” he frowns “Also make sure to get a feel for what they said to others.” And both quickly rush off to speak with their neighbours.

*----------------*

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

[heresthestorymorningglory]

This Must Be The Place

Summary: Lars is ready for more

A/N: This came about after talking with my darling partner in crime <3

Lars x afab reader <3

As per usual, (Yep Lars crossed into that territory) it's NSFW 18+ @ken-dom as always my darling, I thank you for your support and inspiration and late night chats.

Enjoy my loves <3

His heart slammed hard in his chest, but this was nothing new, you had been on plenty of dates together.

But this one was special, he reasoned, this one had to be perfect. 

It was your six month anniversary; your fanciest dress, he had said when you asked him what to wear. This wasn’t going to be your typical Saturday night date at the bowling alley; he wanted it to be more, he wanted it to be special because you were special. 

He let out a heavy breath as he finished tying his tie; your favourite tie, and glanced at the clock. Six forty five, you would be here in fifteen minutes. 

Karin had helped him make a nice dinner; roast and potatoes and carrots. Karin had said a nice red wine would go well with it, but Lars had opted for soda instead, because you didn’t drink. 

He lit both candles on the table as there was a soft knock on the door. 

You were early. 

He gave his outfit a quick once over; his three piece suit and his smartest shoes; his hair combed perfectly. He picked up the small bouquet of daisies; all different colours because the white ones were too plain. You were anything but plain.

He swallowed hard before opening the door and his face immediately broke into a grin seeing you. 

“Hi” you smiled and his heart skipped a beat. 

He nodded holding out the flowers “These are for you,” he spoke softly “H-happy anniversary”

You took them, craning your neck slightly to kiss his cheek. The familiar spark stirring in the pit of his stomach like it always did whenever you touched him. It didn't hurt anymore, not like before; now it was quite the opposite, it excited him. It excited him in a way he wasn’t really sure how to explain, not without making you uncomfortable he feared and that was the last thing he had wanted to do. 

He closed the door behind you and helped you off with your jacket, hanging it on the hook next to his. He turned to face you and let out an audible gasp, he hadn’t meant to, but you…you looked….sexy. His cheeks burned hot at even considering such a word to describe you.

You had on a pair of simple black heels, and your dress had a long slit up the thigh, and tied around your neck, but left your back bare. He bit down on his lip gently before clearing his throat. 

You smirked to yourself as he dropped his gaze, forcing himself to look anywhere but down the front of your dress. 

“A-are you hungry?” he stammered, and you chuckled softly noticing he was no longer making eye contact with you in any way shape or form, his eyes fixed firmly on his own shoes. “I made dinner” 

He cautioned a glance back up at you and you were smiling. “Ravenous” 

He squeezed his eyes shut with a nod and motioned to the table; his hand hovering over the small of your back, but not touching your bare skin…although he wanted to…and his cock twitched in his suit pants as a reminder of the fact. 

The deep blush had settled permanently in his cheeks as he pulled out your chair for you to sit. You thanked him before putting your napkin in your lap, watching him sit across from you. 

The candles cast a soft shadow on his face, but you weren’t oblivious to the fact that he was still blushing. You couldn’t resist teasing him, if only just a little

“You look warm, Lars” you spoke softly as you picked up your utensils “Are you alright?” 

He nodded a bit too quickly and you pretended not to notice that his eyes were fixed squarely down the front of your dress. 

“You can take off your jacket sweetheart, it’s just us here” 

Almost immediately he shrugged it off, turning to hang it on the back of his chair before looking back at you. “You look beautiful” 

Your own cheeks flushed a light pink, almost feeling guilty for scheming to get the exact reaction out of him with your outfit of choice. “Thank you” 

You ate in relative silence, knowing Lars was struggling to find words. Usually you had let him take the lead with these kinds of things, but tonight you were feeling brazen and you wanted nothing more than to get him worked up and he was well on his way. 

You put your fork down next to your empty plate and bit your lips together. “What’s for dessert?” 

His face fell slightly as he looked at you across the table “I’m sorry I didn’t…I didn’t make anything for dessert” 

“I could think of something” you tilted your head slightly as you slipped your foot from inside one of your shoes under the table, sliding your bare foot slowly up the inside of his pant leg. 

He shifted almost immediately in his chair, clearing his throat. Not to avoid your touch but a feeble attempt to collect himself. His head was spinning with so many thoughts at once he didn’t know where to land. Had you wanted to be…intimate?

His hand found the back of his neck where he rubbed the hot skin under his fingertips. 

“I…um..” he cleared his throat and tried again, very aware of your toes still teasing at his ankle “What…what’s that?” 

He fought hard to keep his composure, but he knew you were too smart not to notice him coming unraveled. In any other circumstance, he would just go outside, out to the wood pile and blow off some steam, but he couldn’t, not tonight…and if he was being completely honest with himself…he didn’t want to. 

The touch of your bare toes against his bare skin just above his sock, sent sparks though his entire body, making his cock push more earnestly against the confines of his already snug pants. 

“Can I show you?” You asked softly, slipping your other foot free from your heel. 

He nodded and his stomach instantly filled with butterflies as you pushed yourself back from the small table. He frowned, but watched curiously as you sank to your knees and crawled across the floor under the table. 

He jumped slightly when your hands landed on either one of his knees, pushing them apart gently, the erection tenting his pants was hard to miss, it made your whole body flush with an intense heat. 

You slid your hands slowly up either one of his thighs, you could feel his eyes fixed on you before you looked up to meet them, your fingers coming to rest on the button of his pants. 

“May I?” You asked, still mindful of his aversion to touch…even though he had gotten better, you realized this may be too much. 

You waited, knelt under the small table as he took in a shaky breath, but to your surprise he nodded slowly. 

“If you change your mind, you say so, okay?” Although you said the words, and you meant them, you hoped with every fibre of your being, he wouldn’t. 

“Okay” It was barely a whisper of an answer, his eyes trained on your painted fingernails, paused, waiting for his consent. 

You popped open the button and heard his breath catch in his throat above you. 

Running your tongue between your lips you tugged gently, moving his pants out of the way, a smile crept across your lips, noticing the wet patch in Lars’ underwear. 

Leaning forward, you paused as your mouth hovered over the bulge still concealed behind fabric. 

Lars whimpered feeling the heat of your breath against his most sensitive places. That small patch of precum grew bigger by the second as he felt his cock leak more. 

His entire body flushed with arousal, for the first time in his life he wanted to be touched, needed it. 

As if you had read his mind…you were always really good at that…

He watched as you peeled back the thin fabric of his underwear, his cock springing free, hard and throbbing. He let out an almost relieved sigh. 

Your fingers curled around his thick shaft, eliciting a needy moan in the back of his throat as another thick drop of precum forming from the tip.  

He gasped and your eyes met his briefly before you dipped your head, running your tongue slowly over the head of his cock, desperate to taste him. Both of you, somewhat oblivious to how badly the other wanted it. 

Lars shivered at the completely alien sensation, one of his large hands finding its way into your hair, the other, braced on the table. 

“M-more” he breathed “P-p-please”

He could barely form the words, his head foggy with desire, but it didn't seem to matter, you obliged just as he'd asked. 

He squeezed his eyes shut before watching your perfect lips engulf the entire top half of his length. 

Mindful not to kick you underneath the table, he dug his heel into the floor, his mind swimming with pleasure as he moaned over you, his grip on both your hair and the table growing tighter. 

His heart pounded so hard in his chest he wondered for a moment if it would burst through like in the old cartoons.  

Your tongue slid up the underside of his length and he almost lost his composure, he threw his head back, bucking his hips forward, unintentionally forcing himself further down your throat. 

The head of his cock hitting the back of your throat, making you choke slightly. You moaned around him, sucking harder, the fact that he was too big to fit comfortably in your mouth, making you squeeze your thighs together in vain as your arousal became evident, soaking your own underwear.

“I'm…I-” Lars gasped, the dishes on the table rattling as he gripped harder. “Mmmf” his teeth nearly biting clean through his bottom lip before he threw his head back and cried out, the fingers in your hair, twisted and pulling hard unintentionally, only making you moan around his shaft before you felt his hot, thick release fill your mouth. 

You managed to swallow most of it, not expecting as much as he had to give, the remainder spilling from between your lips, and coating the part of him too big to fit in your mouth.

You let him slide from your mouth with a wet pop. He shivered as you licked and sucked him clean, your own core throbbing with need as he pushed back from the table, enough for you to crawl out from underneath and slip into his lap, his cock slowly softening between you as you sat on his knee, his hand holding you there as you teased your fingers through his dirty blond hair. 

You let him catch his breath before he spoke. 

“Can I…” he paused, considering his words “Have a turn?”

You made a small noise in the back of your throat with a smirk; your core throbbing with need as you sat in his lap. 

“It’s only fair” he reasoned; unable to keep the smile off his face at the thought. 

You had talked things through with him before; when he had felt brave enough to ask you about such things. You were better at explaining it than Gus had been…but he hadn’t been ready then. He was ready now…he thought. 

He leaned forward to kiss you and stopped just before your lips met, his blue eyes meeting yours. “Can I?” he asked softly

You smiled with a nod barely able to get your “Yes” out before his lips crushed against yours. 

Usually his kisses were slow and timid; this time there was so much force behind it, it nearly knocked you over

Your breath caught in your throat as you pushed him back gently; your cheeks flushed with heat; the small apartment suddenly felt very warm. 

“I thought…” his face fell as he searched yours “I thought you wanted…” 

“Oh, Lars I-” you swallowed hard trying to keep your own composure and not send him running in the other direction. “I did, I do” you tried to find the words to reassure him “Just…take a second, take a breath” you spoke softly, your fingers pushing through his hair “Are you sure this is what you want; are you sure you’re ready because we-”

“I’m sure” he interrupted with a confident nod. 

Before you could respond he got to his feet, but didn’t move toward the bed like you had expected. Instead, he blew out the candles, his arm around your waist, holding you firmly against him. You jumped when his free hand swept the table clean, sending the dirty dinner dishes crashing to the floor.

“Lars!” you couldn’t help laughing at the mess on the floor before in one swift movement he lifted you on the now bare table, his mouth once again devouring yours. 

He stood between your spread legs, one of his hands on the small of your back, the other sliding up your thigh as he hooked your leg around his waist. His new found confidence sending you reeling as his weight pushed you back further on the table. 

Your arms found their way around his neck as he broke your kiss, opting to suck and nip along the length of your neck instead. 

You closed your eyes, it was your turn to be overwhelmed with sensations. You had thought and dreamed of this moment so many times over the last six months…even before. You weren’t convinced it wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. 

He was ravenous, completely oblivious to anything that wasn’t you in the moment. 

Warm fingers on the back of your neck, loosened the bow, holding your dress up; the fabric falling loose around your front before Lars pulled it away, leaving you exposed. 

He tugged your dress off the rest of the way, leaving it in a crumpled pile at his feet. Your chest heaving as you tried hard to get a grip on your own arousal surging through your body at an impossibly fast rate. 

Your arms slipped from around his neck as he sank to his knees on the floor, pulling you to the edge of the table. 

His hands pushed your knees apart, just as you had done with his moments before. Your heart thudding in your chest with anticipation as he inched closer to your core. 

Legs draped over his broad shoulders, you shivered as his warm breath crept up the inside of your thigh, the tip of his nose brushing against the lace of the panties you still wore, making you gasp and fist the table cloth underneath you. 

“God, Lars” you breathed, mindful not to crush his head between your thighs. 

He looked up at you from between your legs; his eyes dark with lust. “May I?” 

“Yes, God,” you whined; desperate to feel more “Please” 

Thick fingers curled around the dainty waistband before tugging them off gently and letting them drop to the floor. 

You were so wet. He knew that’s how this worked, he had watched movies before…but this was different, this was for him, you were wet for him. The thought made his cock grow hard between his legs and he let out a moan as another thought occurred to him. What did you taste like?

Again, he dropped his head, but this time he ran his tongue between your slick folds; you lurched forward, arching your back off the table as you let out a strangled cry; your fists clenching the pristine white table cloth tightly. 

“Holy fu-” You squeezed your eyes shut tightly; your whole body felt like it would burst into flames at any second. 

Lars was completely unfazed, devouring you like you were the best thing he had ever let touch his tastebuds. 

And you were… 

He pulled you closer, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips so hard they would leave bruises; Lars completely unaware of his own strength He sucked, and licked and moaned against your core as you writhed over him. His cock leaking with his own pleasure, hearing what he  was doing to you. 

Then as fast as he was there, he was gone, but before you had a chance to complain, his weight was on top of you, his mouth on yours, his tongue pushing between your lips as he kissed you feverishly. You moaned against his mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue as his hard cock pressed against the inside of your thigh.

He pulled back to catch his breath, his lips red and kiss swollen; mustache damp with your slick. He searched your face, catching his breath; you looked so beautiful; flushed, breathless and naked…just for him…

He watched as you bit your lip with a whine as his fingers ghosted over your dripping folds; feeling you shudder underneath him. 

“Can I…Can we…” he stammered breathlessly struggling to find the words; thankful when you simply nodded. You always understood.

He repositioned himself, the head of his cock pushing inside you, he watched you, as your eyes fluttered closed, you grit your teeth and he frowned slightly, wondering if he was hurting you,but you hadn’t told him to stop. Quite the opposite, you pulled him closer, your tight heat engulfing his entire length, your moans mingling with his as your lips found his again. 

He thrust his hips, slowly at first, the small table groaning under the weight of both of you on it’s top. 

You pried your lips from his, taking a much needed breath as he thrust harder, moving his hips faster, your legs locked around his waist. He buried his head in the crook of your neck moaning low in the back of his throat as you moaned loud towards the ceiling. 

His large hand collapsed over your mouth as his breath was hot and heavy next to your ear.

“Shhh, they’ll hear you” 

You breathed heavily through your nose as his hand stayed firmly in place; your moans muffled underneath You sounded desperate and needy, and you were. The entire table shifted under your weight as he thrust harder; his own desperate moans loud next to your ear. He was close. 

Something in him flipped like a switch; his primal urge taking over as he buried himself deep inside you, the delicious burn between your thighs of being stretched almost too far as skin slapped skin, his hand still heavy over your mouth as he grunted with the last of his effort, spilling hot and thick inside you as your fingernails sank into the flesh of his shoulders through his dress shirt as your orgasm tore through you from your core. 

He dropped his hand from your mouth, his weight landing heavy on top of you. He was almost still completely dressed; pants gathered around his ankles, shirt buttons undone, tie hanging loosely around his neck, his hair no longer neatly combed. 

You pushed his hair back away from his face with a smile as you felt him slip from inside you.  

“Are you okay?” he asked, softly “I- I didn’t hurt you?” 

You shook your head with a small laugh; pulling him closer to kiss him gently “No sweetheart; not even a little bit” 

He smiled, leaning his forehead against yours as he pulled you to sit up, his hands cupping your face. “Can we do it again?” he asked, his lips pressing against yours before you had a chance to answer. 

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Aftermath || LN4 {3}

Pairing: Lando Norris x widow!reader Summary: Things are changing between you and Lando, slowly but surely pulling you further from your grief. Warnings: 18+ only, grief and loss, fluff WC: 2.3k

F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven || Twelve || Thirteen || Epilogue

You weren’t quite able to pinpoint the moment things changed between you and Lando. It had been subtle and it had been soft, but there was no doubt it was felt on both sides.

Maybe it began the first day he showed up, when he had rescued you from the hole you had buried yourself in. Maybe it was the night he woke you from the recurring nightmare that plagued your sleep and he had held you until you could breathe steadily again. Maybe it was when he invited you to England and you said yes.

You were both surprised by the answer considering only a month ago you had struggled to leave the house and now you were going to leave the country. It was progress, and it wasn’t forever - just for ten days while Lando did some testing in Woking and raced at Silverstone. 

There was only one condition to your trip, and your stance was firm on it. You did not want to see him in his race car. Just the thought of it made you ill despite him having raced the other week in Austria. You hadn’t been able to turn on the tv while the race was on, in fact you had turned your phone off completely too so you didn’t hear any news about it.

What you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. Or that’s what you told yourself when you spent hours trying to distract yourself out in the garden. The roses were trimmed terribly because you hadn’t been able to concentrate on what you were doing. You were lucky you still had your fingers intact after some of the wayward clippings you had done while your mind drifted away on you.

It was only after you knew the race had surely finished that you turned your phone back on to see dozens of missed calls from Lando, the voicemails growing increasingly more frantic as he begged you to answer him.

“Is this all you’ve packed?” Lando asked as he picked up the carry-on sized suitcase. 

“Most of my clothes are too loose,” you said with a shrug to ease his mind but you could see the worry crumple his forehead. “It’s been a while since I last went but there’s still shops in England, right?”

He chuckled as he put the bag in the boot of the McLaren René had given you. “I could get you some Quadrant gear. It would look good on you.”

“Because it’s yours or because I can make anything look good?” you joked as you pulled an exaggerated pose for an imaginary photoshoot.

His smile grew as he unzipped his bag, pulling out an oversized hoodie with his brand’s logo on it. “Let’s see.” 

He pulled it over your head and you dutifully slipped your arms in as you inhaled his scent that clung to the soft material. 

Taking a step back he tapped his fingers across his lips. “Hmmm,” he hummed deep in thought before nodding. “Both. Definitely both.”

Lando opened the car door for you, closing it behind you before walking around the car and taking the driver’s seat. “Did I pick up my passport?” he asked himself as he buckled his seatbelt and frowned.

“No,” you said with a shake of your head before pulling it out of your handbag to wave it in front of him. “But I did.”

“What would I do without you?” he swooned dramatically as he took it and shoved it into his hoodie pocket. The car roared to life and he connected his phone to the airplay since your playlists were a year out of date.

“Go out, have fun and live it up in your 20’s like you should,” you offered as he pulled out of the driveway.

“You’re in your 20’s too.”

“I don’t know how to have fun anymore and I think I age in dog years now, so really I'm in my mid-thirties. Which sucks because I’ll be due a midlife crisis soon.”

“I am going to prove you wrong,” he said as he reached over the gearstick and took your hand. “We are going to go out and have fun, promise.”

You were grateful to have Lando’s hoodie when you landed at Heathrow and saw that the summer weather in Monaco hadn’t extended to the UK. A miserable grey skyline greeted you outside the airport before a horn tooted in the pick up zone and Lando waved to his friend Max.

The footpath was slick with puddles and the rain only seemed to get heavier as you prepared to leave the shelter of the terminal for a mad dash to the car. Before you could step out into the downpour, Lando stopped you and pulled your hood up over your head then donned his own and took your hand. 

The first time he had held your hand you had been left feeling confused and guilty. It had been the first time you felt safe in a year. It had been the first time you had felt warmth in a year. It had felt like a betrayal because it had only been a year. 

You had tried to put distance between the two of you after it happened, pushing him away and rebuilding the wall around your heart that he had been stealthily dismantling brick by brick. But in true Lando fashion he had blatantly ignored your request for space and instead arrived back at your home with a large suitcase and stayed even more.

It had taken time but Lando had convinced you of what deep down you already knew, René would want you to be happy. He would not have cared that the happiness came in the form of his teammate and friend - if anything, at least you knew it was someone René had trusted and shared the same values with.

Once you were able to accept that truth and forgive yourself for the guilt you had felt, things got better. Now you welcomed the small touches, the soft kisses he pressed to your forehead and the grounding weight of his arm when he draped it over your shoulders. 

“Ready to run?” he asked as he tugged the strings for your hood, closing the gap around your face to minimise the chances of getting wet. 

“No, just please don’t let me slip and make an ass of myself.” You could see the phones pointed your way, thumbs tapping the capture button as they took photos of you and Lando. The hoodies weren’t enough to hide your identity but you had grown used to the attention over the years of dating and then marrying an F1 driver, it was just different now that the pictures were with Lando.

“Never,” he chuckled and tightened his fingers laced with yours, “only I can take embarrassing pictures of you.”

You sent him a droll stare but he just smirked before Max tooted the horn again and you both rushed out into the rain. Your shoes splashed into the puddles and soon a giggle escaped as you tipped your head back to feel the cold and refreshing droplets on your lips while Lando opened the car door for you. 

“As much as I love hearing you laugh, come on before you catch a cold,” Lando said with a smile as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you into the backseat. 

“Hey, Max,” you greeted the former racer who had been in the same up and coming circles of drivers as René had been. He had become a familiar face in the last month whenever Lando jumped on the simulator in the basement and streamed with the rest of his Quadrant esports team.

“Hey, Y/N,” he nodded to the hoodie with a grin as the boot slammed shut and Lando sprinted to the front seat, shaking his hair out as he pushed his hood back. “Nice kit.”

“What’s up, bro?” Lando greeted him before following his line of sight to you in the backseat. “Looks good, right?”

“Yeah, you could totally do modelling, or be an influencer.” 

“No thanks, that sounds horrible,” you said with a roll of your eyes as you buckled up. “Plus, I deleted all my social media accounts so I have no one to influence anyway.”

Max shook his head in disbelief before focusing on the road as he pulled out into the midday traffic and headed to the hotel Lando had booked. 

“That Monaco tax holiday is paying off, smart lad,” Max joked as he pulled up at The Shard in the heart of the city. “Did you get the tickets?”

Lando’s eyes flickered your way and Max bit his lip before mouthing ‘sorry’ and Lando sighed. “Yes, I got those explicitly stated surprise tickets.”

“Do I get to know what they are?” you asked as you leaned in between their seats. 

Lando turned and booped you on the nose. “Nope, that would ruin the surprise.”

“What should I wear?” you asked Lando as you tried to phish for information on where he was taking you while you rode the elevator up to the room on the 50th floor, but he really wasn’t giving you much.

“Whatever you feel comfortable in.” 

You tugged the hem of the hoodie down lower so it hid your denim shorts and looked like you were wearing nothing underneath. “What if I’m comfortable in this?”

His lips tugged up in amusement. “Then you can wear just that.”

“Hmm, so it’s nowhere fancy, that’s a relief.”

“I would totally take you somewhere fancy in that. I especially like this part,” he said as he turned you around so your back was to the mirrored wall. 

“My ass?” you joked as you looked back over your shoulder.

“That too, or more, actually, but I was talking about this,” he explained as dragged his index finger across his name that was printed just above the hem. 

Your breath caught in your throat at the touch and you peered up at him as the temperature in the elevator skyrocketed faster than it was carrying you up the skyscraper. 

Maybe it was being out of the house you had shared with René that spurred the sudden freedom you felt, or maybe it was the culmination of touches and sweet gestures that had been building for weeks. Whatever it was, the cage you had kept the last little piece of yourself hidden in was unlocked by it.

His eyes held yours as his palm came to rest over his name and pulled you flush against his body. Your hands naturally found their way to his shoulders as you steadied yourself and you were struck by the grey that danced in his blue eyes, holding the same electric intensity of the storm you were sheltering from. But this was your true shelter, his eyes, his arms, they were your safe haven.

“Lando?” you asked shakily as your eyes drifted down to his full lips that he wet with his tongue.

“Yes, Y/N?” he asked, his voice dropping an octave.

“Will you-” Your lips sealed shut as the doors opened at the leisure centre floor and a woman in her gym gear hopped in. 

A frustrated groan nearly escaped when Lando changed his hold on you, curling his arm around your waist as he chuckled into your hair. Unfortunately the woman was only a floor below you so there was no time to pick up where you left off and then Lando’s hands were preoccupied with carrying the bags to the suite.

The space was stunning as you took it all in and your heart skipped a beat at the sight of the large bed, the only one in the suite. There had been nights when Lando fell asleep next to you, when your nightmares woke him up and he didn’t have the energy to go back to the spare room he had taken over. But this was different. 

Walking further into the living room you froze at the terrifying landscape before you, the sprawling city almost invisible beneath the blanket of clouds across the skyline. It was dizzying how high up you were with only a thin pane of glass separating you from the storm outside. 

“I’m afraid of heights,” you whispered as you took a step back and into Lando’s chest, his arms enclosing around you.

“I won’t let you fall.” His breath was warm on your neck as he kissed your racing pulse. “Now, what were you going to ask me in the elevator?”

You turned in his arms and draped your arms around his neck as your heart threatened to beat right out of your chest. “Will you…kiss me?”

You felt his smile on your skin as he kissed your forehead and you tipped your head back to tell him that wasn’t what you meant but he was quicker and stole the words right from your parted lips as he kissed you properly. 

You might have floated away on the clouds outside if it wasn’t for his arms holding you down. Oxygen no longer meant anything as you breathed him in instead, your fingers combing into his curls with desperation to keep him close. 

Both of you were reluctant to break away but with screaming lungs you pulled back with a gasp and he dropped his forehead to yours. 

“Wow,” he breathed with a soft chuckle that made you giggle. “Can we do that again?”

You answered him with a kiss as your hands drifted up under his hoodie and over the hard planes of his abs. “Mhmm, yes, please.”

Click here for part four.

Tagging: @yunnie-f1 @neiich @zendayabelova @stillbreathin @dr3lover @writerscurse @christianpulisic10 @alwaysclassyeagle

[realityjoey]

CRUSHING (RILEY ANDERSON MC x EVAN BUCKLEY)

Riley Anderson stood outside the 118 station, the early morning sun casting a warm glow over the building. Six months. It had been six months since she moved from the North of England to Los Angeles, and yet, the sensation of being in a foreign land hadn’t worn off. The city’s hustle and bustle was worlds away from the quiet countryside she’d known back home. But she loved it—the noise, the energy, the people. Most of all, she loved her job.

Working as a firefighter for the 118 had been a dream come true. Though it wasn’t without its challenges, especially when it came to standing out in more ways than one. Everywhere she went, she was noticed. Her natural beauty certainly played a part—tall, fit, with striking features—but it was her thick Northern English accent that had everyone doing double takes. People adored it. The constant, “Say that again?” and “I love your accent!” had gotten old fast, but it was something she’d learned to laugh off.

Inside the station, the familiar sound of laughter and clattering equipment greeted her. As Riley strolled into the locker room, Hen and Chimney were already gearing up for the day’s shift.

“Morning, Anderson!” Chim called out, flashing her a cheeky grin. “Did you bring your tea with you today? We wouldn’t want you to suffer without it.”

Riley smirked, rolling her eyes. “I’ll have you know, Chim, not every Brit is glued to a cup of tea.”

“Is that so?” Hen chimed in with a grin. “Because I seem to remember you getting quite defensive when we ran out of Earl Grey last week.”

“That’s because American tea is abysmal,” Riley shot back, her accent thickening as she played into their jokes.

She wasn’t even surprised when Buck wandered in at that moment, catching the tail end of the conversation. Evan Buckley—or Buck, as everyone called him—was the biggest instigator when it came to her “Britishness.” Every chance he got, he’d throw in a quip about her accent, or her country, or even her phrasing. It was like his go-to method of flirting. And flirt he did, constantly, though in the oddest ways.

Buck leaned against a locker, a smug grin playing on his lips. “What’s this I hear about tea, Anderson? Got your biscuits ready too?”

“Keep talking, Buckley, and I’ll dunk you in the nearest river,” Riley shot back, slamming her locker shut with a grin.

“Ooh, feisty today,” Buck teased, though his eyes lingered on her a little too long. There it was—that brief moment where his usual banter gave way to something deeper. A touch that lingered a bit longer, a look that said more than his words. Riley was no fool; she’d noticed the way Buck’s teasing had shifted in recent weeks. It wasn’t just lighthearted mocking anymore—there was something more behind it.

But he had a funny way of showing it. Instead of just coming out and saying what he felt, Buck hid behind his jokes, especially the ones that edged on dirty. Only, Riley knew better than to think they were just jokes.

Before she could respond, the familiar shrill of the alarm cut through the room. A call. They sprang into action, heading out to the trucks in a well-practiced routine. Riley pulled her gear on, focused on the task ahead, but she couldn’t help but feel Buck’s eyes on her as they geared up. He was always watching, always hovering just a little too close.

The call wasn’t anything too serious—a small kitchen fire in a nearby apartment complex. By the time they arrived, the fire was under control, but there was still work to be done. Riley and Buck worked together, their usual rhythm in sync as they moved through the building, clearing out smoke and ensuring the fire was fully out.

“Hey, Anderson,” Buck’s voice came from behind her as they worked side by side. “You know, in the States, we call these ‘pants,’ not ‘trousers.’ Just thought I’d educate you.”

Riley, already kneeling down to check a section of scorched cabinets, shot him a deadpan look. “Is that so? And what do you call ‘annoying coworkers’ in the States? Is it still ‘Buckley’?”

Buck chuckled, stepping closer as he crouched beside her, his arm brushing hers as he “helped” examine the cabinet she was already inspecting. “Ouch, that one hurt. You’re getting better at this.”

“Thought I’d throw you a bone.” She looked up, catching his eye, and for a split second, something shifted between them. It wasn’t just playful banter anymore. Buck’s usual teasing smirk softened as he held her gaze, and Riley felt a flicker of something she wasn’t quite ready to confront. She quickly looked away, pretending to focus on the work at hand, but Buck’s presence remained heavy beside her.

“You know,” Buck said after a moment, his voice dropping to something lower, more serious, “I think the team’s right. You do stand out here, Anderson.”

Riley raised an eyebrow, still not looking at him. “Is this another ‘British’ thing?”

“Nah,” Buck said, his voice soft, “this is a you thing.”

Riley swallowed, the playful energy between them shifting. Before she could respond, Chimney’s voice called from the next room, breaking the tension.

“Hey, lovebirds, you done in there?”

Buck was on his feet in an instant, his usual grin back in place. “Coming!” he called out before giving Riley a wink. “We’ll finish this conversation later, yeah?”

She shook her head, trying to suppress the smile tugging at her lips. “In your dreams, Buckley.”

But as they finished the call and headed back to the station, Riley couldn’t shake the feeling that Buck wasn’t entirely joking this time. Something between them had changed, and whether she was ready to admit it or not, the way he looked at her made her pulse quicken just a little faster.

[creative-heart]

"Love's Blossom"| Enzo Vogrincic

Chapter 1: "Nurturing Beginnings"

Lucia’s notes: Here goes the first chapter of my new Enzo x Reader Series. It’s a bit short, but I hope you enjoy it as a way to get you into this world.

Content Warning: Baby Fever, slight brief talk of sex. I don’t think I’m missing anymore, but if I am, please let me know.

Word Count: 1.3 k

It only took for Enzo’s cousin Juan to put his newborn baby boy in Y/N’s arms for the baby fever to ignite a new kind of fire in her gut, one that she had never felt before, and it burnt so bright she thought it might consume her. The Brunette was so taken by the little boy’s hand grabbing her pinky with his whole little fist that she didn’t realize Enzo was looking at the image in front of him as if it was the air he lacked to live; a new urge of making Y/N a mom growing in his heart.

The afternoon went by basically with them two gawking at the infant boy and as soon as they sat down in their car to head home Y/N looked over at her boyfriend “How crazy would it be if I said I want to have a baby?” she bit her lip a bit scared of the dark-haired man’s reaction to this revelation even though she didn’t quite expect the response she got back. Enzo snapped his head to look at her as soon as she said that the widest brightest smile spreading across his face, “I was thinking the same, for some reason seeing you with Luca made me think about how cute a mini us would be”.

And so they came up with a plan, Y/N went to see her doctor and explained the situation and she took the girl off her contraceptives starting her on some vitamins and folic acid as well, to help boost her reproductive system. For the next three months or so, it wouldn’t be successful according to the doctor, as Y/N’s body needed to get rid of all the hormones before any baby-making could happen, not that they couldn’t try anyway. 

Two months into this endeavor, they had agreed not to try testing before the three months had passed so they wouldn’t get too anxious about it, not that it was working for Y/N, the brunette was going insane with the wait. So when Juan and his wife asked the pair to look after little Luca for the night as they had a child-free wedding, Enzo and Y/N jumped at the opportunity to try to get as much hands-on experience with a baby as they could before they got their little one.

Leading up to the day they’d be taking baby Luca, Y/N walked in on Enzo reading a parenting blog and trying to understand what he needed to do with him, as she silently approached him from behind kissing his cheek while he sat on the couch she asked “What are you doing my love? reading up on baby care?” The older man looked at his girlfriend blushing a deep shade of red “It’s just that I want to make sure I know what to do with him tomorrow, like, what temperature do babies take their bottles? How will I know when he needs a diaper change? Like he’s my nephew, I need to do a good job, plus I know nothing about babies.” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable he looked all worried.

When Saturday rolled around, Juan and his wife dropped Luca off at Y/N and Enzo’s place at around six pm with his diaper bag with all the essentials needed for the night. “Right, so in there are enough diapers to last him like a day, in case there are any emergencies, a couple of clothes changes, and his pjs, his pacifier, and all the bottles he’ll need until we’re back with Camila’s milk in them, you only need to warm them up, and they’re microwave safe” Y/N smiled holding the baby kissing his head “Don’t worry guys, we’ve got you covered, you go have fun, if there’s anything you must know about we’ll make sure to let you know”. As both Juan and Camila kissed their baby’s head and left the brunette turned around rocking the sleeping baby in her arms to look at Enzo “you alright there?” she smiled as he stood frozen holding the bag.

“Yeah..” He replied absentmindedly “It’s just I didn’t ask them how will we know if he’s too hot, or too cold? won’t he need another blanket? what if he doesn’t like the way we change his diaper?” Y/N laughed standing on her tiptoes to plant a loving smooch on the taller one’s lips “As adorable as I find the way you panic, you need to relax baby, you’ll see it’s more intuitive than you think, plus, I’ve changed diapers before, so we’re good” He nodded softly as Y/N went to lay the sleeping infant in the traveling cot they had set up in the guests room for the night turning the monitor on before walking back out. It always amazed Enzo how much of a natural his girlfriend was with kids, they seemed to just be naturally attracted to her like bees to honey were and he loved seeing how much she enjoyed playing with the little ones at all social gatherings they attended.

As the evening went on they found themselves taking turns to play with and hold the baby, Enzo took most of the feedings and Y/N took the diaper changes under the attentive gaze of her boyfriend who wanted to soak up all the knowledge he could on this. Once they had Luca in his pjs Y/N gently paced around their living room after dinner trying to make the baby go down for the night as the raven-haired man laid back on the couch watching her, his eyes never leaving her body as she kept going “come on bubba, I know you’re tired, go to sleep” she pleaded at the whiny, fussy baby as he was overtired.

When he finally gave in to sleep she sat down with him laying on her chest as she rested back against Enzo “Finally, he was so overstimulated he couldn’t even fall asleep” she whispered rubbing his back gently and watching him sleep. Enzo hummed softly as he just looked at her with loving and reflecting eyes “I wish I could be the little man right now” he whispered and smiled at Y/N’s quizzical look “so that I could be laying my face on those perfect boobs of yours, little sucker” he chuckled lowly at her glare “What? You can’t blame me they’re just way too amazing, I would die a happy man in there” Y/N rolled her eyes smiling feeling the warmth grow up her face.

A while later she went to put Luca down in the guest room tucking him in before walking back out to the living room and taking the tea Enzo offered her sitting back down with him “You think they’ll get bigger?” Y/N looked at him “Your boobs, you think they’ll get bigger when you get pregnant? Because if they will, I’m taking you to our room right now and we’re not getting out until we get a little Vogrincic in there” he smirked as she smacked his arm playfully “we can’t tonight Mr. there’s a sleeping baby in our guest room, I won’t be fucking you, not that I don’t want to tho” the hazel-eyed woman said lowly sitting on his lap straddling him stroking his chest playfully.

“Then you’re being especially mean right now because you know what you’re doing” Enzo smirked at her innocent-looking smile “Oh yeah, don’t play innocent, we both know exactly what you’re doing grinding against me like this baby girl” he whispered against the skin on her neck kissing softly going to her soft spot slowly grazing over it with his teeth a shaky breath getting caught in the back of her throat her eyes fluttering closed as he kept kissing up and down her sensitive skin. As she ran her hands through his dark locks she heard the baby start crying and sighed pulling away from Enzo “I’ll get him” Y/N got up and walked to the bedroom picking him up from his crib, checking his diaper before laying him down to change him. As the older man looked at her walk away she sighed this has to be the only downfall of babies he thought running his hands through his hair.

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P.S: If you enjoyed this and want to be tagged in upcoming work, leave a comment down below.

[thefallennightmare]

Moment of Weakness-twenty three

*credit to whoever created the gif. found on google/Pinterest *

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: language, smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Author's Note: unsure if another update is coming today or not. so enjoy this one for now!

Tags(closed): @splendidreads @sebsgirl71479 @mdpplgtz03 @pattiemac1 @unaxv @alana4610 @broadwaybabe18 @themayzittcha @playboystark @raajali3 @ozwriterchick @ragamuffin285 @screamingdying @themorningsunshine @kenziekugler22 @calwitch @sebastianstansqueen @stanaddict @stucky-simp03 @sleyeveryday @loustan90 @lyra-black13 @valsworldofcreativity @cjand10 @tesseract69 @batprincess1013 @subwaysurf45 @arsonfrogger @yoruse @5moremin @lipstickandtanqueray @mandijo17 @joannaromanoff @justsebstan @winters1917 @elizacusi-blog @football1921 @elxvrr

EIGHT MONTHS LATER. 

I let out a deep breath while pulling my jacket closer to my chest as I continued the walk down the busy streets of New York City. It was after six in the evening and everyone was rushing to get home to enjoy the rest of their evening while I was trying to make it to the office in time, before he left. 

This wasn’t an easy decision I made, knowing the consequences that could follow. But I didn’t have any other choice. He was the only one that could help me with this.  

The thought of if he would even want to help me did cross my mind a few times, especially with how things ended, but there was a small part of me that hoped his feelings for me were still strong. Strictly to help me with my problem, nothing else. 

It had been so long since I talked to any of the three men I used to work with, deciding to stay off of social media because I couldn’t bother to see what happened with Bucky and Natasha. By now, he had to have realized that I was right; Natasha was faking the entire pregnancy. 

Yet, I hadn’t heard from him so maybe he still decided to stay with her. 

You told him to stay away. 

Shaking away the thought, I turned the corner and the all too familiar building came into view as with one last deep breath, I pushed through the door and my eyes landed on the person sitting at what used to be my desk. My heart hammered in my chest as his scent filled my senses. 

“Well, it seems like the job isn’t available anymore, huh?” 

He turned around in a haste in the chair, eyes grazing over every inch of me to make sure I had been standing in front of him. 

The last time we talked was a few months ago and we actually hadn’t seen each other since before I quit. He looked the same, hair and beard a bit longer. 

“Hi Steve,” I smiled. 

“Y/N?” 

Steve was quick on his feet to wrap his arms around me and lifted my body off of the ground a few inches. I closed my eyes at the warmth, silently missing him just as much. 

“How have you been?” Steve asked while setting me back onto solid ground. 

I nodded. “Good, I guess. How have things been here?” 

Steve hesitated, his shoulders going stiff. “Have you talked to him at all?” 

This time I shook my head so Steve gently led me to the couch in the main area of the office and we sat next to each other. He scratched at his beard, trying to find the right way to say this. 

“He’s gone rogue the last couple of months. He doesn't need mine or Sam’s help for anything, he takes care of the problems himself.” 

I pointed towards his office. “Is he here?” 

Steve shook his head. “I haven't seen him all day. He called me earlier to say he’s got something to take care of so he’s going to be at Power Brokers tonight.” 

My eyes narrowed. “He hates that club. Why would he go there?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve sighed. “He doesn’t tell Sam or I anything anymore. We only show up here now in case he needs us.” 

“Are he and Nat-?” 

He placed a hand on my knee, stopping the words. “That’s something Bucky has to talk to you about.” 

With a slow nod, I contemplated my next move because I knew that if I went to Power Broker tonight, it would be a disaster from the start. That club was highly known as a black market, people trying to sell you things that you couldn’t buy anywhere else. But if you didn’t agree to it it would be highly unlikely that you would make it back out alive. 

“Are you going to tell me why you showed up tonight?” 

I gave Steve my attention now and shrugged. “Trust me, I would rather go to anyone else with this but Bucky is the only one that can help me.” 

He cupped my cheek. “Please be careful.” 

“Always,” I covered his hand with my own. 

The music of the club vibrated against my bones as I maneuvered my way through the seas of people, who did their best to either dance with me or sell me on their latest project they had hiding in their pocket. I ignored all of them, keeping my focus on finding the one person that I needed. 

When I asked the bouncers outside if they had seen Bucky, they were quick to give him up. 

“He’s been causing problems here all night but refuses to leave. The men we have here aren't nearly as strong as he is to kick him out.”

I was on high alert, skiing tingling with my senses, as I observed the giant open dance floor of the club until some commotion at the bar piqued my interest. I watched as a guy was thrown onto the glass bar top, black and gold fingers wrapped around his throat. 

“Where is she?!” 

The voice was deep, angry, and wanted to know the answers. 

My heart beat intensified as I marveled at how different he looked yet looking exactly the same. The brown leather vest that covered his broad chest was missing a sleeve, his entire vibranium arm on full display.  He didn’t look like a mob boss any longer but more so a soldier. 

The heat pooled between my legs but I squeezed them shut, knowing that now wasn't the time to think about that. 

“I swear, I don’t know where she is! Last I heard, they were in Budapest!” The man struggled for his life under the tight grip around his throat. 

“They were together?” 

The man on the bar nodded, as best he could. “That’s what my guys tell me.” 

As I saw a glimmer of sharp metal emerge from the pocket of the other man's vest, I finally decided to speak up. 

“Bucky.” 

My voice might have been hushed with the background noise of the club but I knew he heard because Bucky looked away from the man he had pinned, his once blue iris now dark stared back at me. The firmness in his body faded with his face softening, as he dropped the man to the floor below. 

“Doll?” 

I swallowed thickly at the old pet name because I couldn't get distracted, I needed to finish what I came for. 

“I need your help,” I admitted with a shaky breath.

[ramblingoak]

His Dark Song, Chapter 1: Let’s Get Started

~ A man covered in occult tattoos, a difficult ritual, sex magic...would you be able to survive months alone with Cardinal Copia? ~

Copia x f!reader

This was for week two of the challenge put on by @petrifyingpapas last year and the theme of the week was “Incantation”.  This story was inspired by the movie “A Dark Song”, but I’ll be giving it a Ghost twist.

Warnings: alternate universe, mentions of past child loss, violence, eventual smut, 18+ only mdni

His tattoos looked like they were glowing.

The swirling words and symbols that covered most of his skin had always caught your attention, but right now you couldn’t look away.  He had said tonight would be the night, that all the months of hard work you had both been putting into the ritual would finally pay off.  That the thing you had been attempting to summon was finally going to appear this very night and you’d finally get to ask your wish.

Copia continued to murmur under his breath in Latin, tracing intricate symbols into the air between you with his fingers.  He was mesmerizing, he had always been mesmerizing even when you had first met him in that diner.  Despite his attitude and his penchant for pissing you off you had quickly become entranced by him.  Copia had been your only companion for six months now and you hadn’t been able to stop yourself from falling for him.

The sex magic had certainly helped.

“Are you ready, dolce?”  You met his eyes and nodded, taking a steadying breath before you held your right hand out towards him.  He brought it to his mouth, dropping a quick kiss on the back while winking at you.  Copia turned it so your palm was facing up and traced a symbol on your tingling skin with a finger before letting you go.

His mismatched eyes looked into yours then, holding your gaze steadily.  For a moment you thought he was going to say something else, but he gave a quick shake of his head before reaching down to the floor beside him.  The dagger’s blade flashed in the dancing light of the room and you held your breath when he raised it into the air above his head.  Neither of you glanced away from each other, Copia just raised an eyebrow and you slowly blew your breath out before you spoke.

“I’m ready.”

Copia winked once more before bringing the dagger down.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ six months earlier ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

The house was old. 

It wasn’t really a surprise, all the houses this far in the country were. Most had been passed down between a few generations. Many were boarded up.  You had seen the insides of quite a few at this point but as soon as you had walked inside of this one you knew. 

This one would work. 

The realtor continued to drone on as he followed you around.  Mentioning things he thought you’d be interested in. How the furniture was included. The age of the paintings adorning the walls. He thought you would care and while you didn’t, not really, you let him say his piece. 

“It’s a one year contract unfortunately.”

“I’m sorry?”  You had made your way to the main room on the second floor, large windows took up most of the wall letting you watch the sun set behind the hills. 

“The lease, it’s for a year.”

A year. Would this take that long?  You had only been able to find a few accounts of the ritual being attempted.  But the information had been scarce and you weren’t sure if you trusted the sources. 

“Utilities are included though, which is rare around here. You’ve got privacy and plenty of land to roam around.”  The realtor had walked up to the windows to stand next to you.  “Do you have any kids?”

Your body froze like it always did at that question. People always asked it out of polite curiosity. No one would ever ask if they knew the truth.  

“I did.”  You let yourself have a moment to stare him down, to watch him deflate before you turned and walked back towards the hallway.  “I don’t anymore.”

Cardinal Copia wasn’t what you expected. 

To be honest you had been looking for a man in a cassock while you waited in the diner, like the Cardinal’s had worn in the church you had attended as a child.  The man that had sat down across from you in the diner was in worn jeans and a red sweater that had seen better days. Dark brown hair with streaks of gray at his temples. He was handsome and your brain chose that moment to remind you about the sex magic the ritual entailed, making you fight the blush that wanted to appear on your cheeks. 

“So, in the mood for a little magic, eh?”  You would’ve smiled back if his had seemed genuine, but to you it felt like an act. There was an odd twinkle in his even odder eye, the left being entirely white. He squinted when you didn’t respond, looking back down at his plate and poking around the eggs with his fork. 

“Was it from an accident?”  Copia froze and looked back up at you. The blush couldn’t be stopped now, but you were mostly mortified you had asked such a thing. Thankfully he seemed more bemused than annoyed and looked back down at his food. 

“Not unless you call my birth an accident.”  

“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m just-I’m nervous.”  

Copia had shoved some eggs into his mouth but thankfully swallowed before responding. 

“Do I make you nervous, dolce?”  Your eyes narrowed at him but he just chuckled and crossed his arms. You let your gaze drift down to his hands, the backs of his fingers were covered in tattoos.  They looked like letters of some kind but you couldn’t tell from across the table.  From his fingers the letters turned into swirling patterns on the backs of his hands that continued onto his wrists and then disappeared under the sleeves of his sweater.  You shook your head and met his amused gaze.

“It’s a big undertaking, isn’t it?  The ritual.”  You reached out for your water glass but it was only to keep your hands occupied. “I think some nerves are to be expected.”

Copia hummed and reached a hand out, gently peeling one of yours away from the glass.  He held it up above the table, sliding his hand down to your wrist and holding his thumb against your pulse for a moment. He smirked and swept it back and forth across your skin a few times before letting go and then pulling his thumb into his mouth. He let it slide out with an obscene pop, smirking as he looked at your hand. 

It was shaking like a leaf. 

Irritated and a little embarrassed you yanked it back and crossed your arms over your chest.  Was he going to be like this the whole time?  You were ashamed to admit that you were glad he was…ok, glad that he was handsome. But you’d barely been in his presence for thirty minutes and he had you blushing like a teenager.  You needed to set some ground rules if he was going to act like this the whole time. 

“Cardinal Copia…”

“Just Copia is fine, dolce.”

“Fine, ok. Copia, we shou—“

“You need to be sure.”  You huffed and glared at him but he seemed unbothered.  “This ritual is delicate, so very delicate. Any nerves or wrong moves, this can ruin the whole thing.  Did you look into how long this could take?”

“I saw a few things that said weeks, bu—“

“Months, dolce.  This could take months.”  Months?  You’d be stuck in that house with him for months?  “Months of strenuous, precise recitations. Of cleansing your body, your soul.  Is this something you’re ready for?”

“Yes, Copia. Yes. I’ve been ready, I’ve done the research.”  You were starting to worry he wasn’t going to do this. There weren’t many others you could ask and none besides Copia that you had heard had actually been successful at it before. 

“What about the sex magic?”  The poor waitress was walking by at that moment and stumbled, Copia reached out to help catch her, gently grasping her elbow before she ended up on the floor. The poor thing was blushing even worse than you had been. He gave her a wink before directing his attention back to you. 

“I can do whatever magic is required as long as you can do the ritual.”  

Copia reached for his napkin and wiped his mouth, throwing it onto his plate before reaching down for his bag he’d brought in with him. 

“Oh, don’t worry about me, dolce.  I can do the ritual.”  It was your turn to receive a wink from him, but before your cheeks could redden he stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. “Let’s go see this house.”  

He didn’t seem particularly impressed with the house, but he also hadn’t been very impressed with your car. 

“Dolce, how old is this thing?”

Or your music collection. 

“I didn’t know they still made CD’s. Do you have any ABBA?”

When you arrived at the house itself he had let out a string of Italian and none of it sounded complimentary.  You gave him room to wander, unpacking some of the supplies you had already gotten and shoving them away in the kitchen.  There was a large freezer in the basement so if this was happening you’d have to go back to town and stock up on food. You weren’t sure if you'd be able to leave once the ritual started. 

If it did start. 

After an hour or so you started wandering the house in search of him. You smelled a faint hint of cigarette smoke inside but there was no sign of the man himself. It wasn’t till you found your way back into the main room and its large windows that you spotted him. He was standing near the pond the estate had, watching the sunlight dance across the water. 

By the time you made it out there the sun was dropping rapidly into the horizon. You couldn’t smell any smoke on him so you held off admonishing him for it.  It would take forever to get the smell out of that old furniture if he spent the next few months smoking all day. 

“Do you remember my fee, dolce?”

“Yes.”

“How about everything the ritual entailed?”

“Yes, yes Copia we’ve been over this. I’m ready.”

“You say this, but I don’t think you understand what it means. So you must be sure, absolutely sure.”  

“Goddammit, yes!  I'm sure!”

“Then tell me why you’re doing this.”

“Wh-what?”

Copia sighed and turned away from the water to gaze at you. That white eye of his was so unnerving you kept wanting to look away. 

“I want to know why you’ve done all this, why you’ve hired me.”  He took a step towards you and you had to fight the instinct to take a step back. 

“For love.”

The look of disgust on his face was immediate and he stepped back away from you. 

“Love?!  Are you serious?”

“Yes!  Why does that—hey!”  Copia had turned and started stalking back towards the house, but you were hot on his heels.  “Hey!  What’s wrong?”

The only response you got was a scoff and some more Italian. When you tried to grab his arm he ripped it away and then yanked the back door to the house open.  Before he could get to the kitchen where he left his bag you shoved yourself in front of him and blocked the doorway. 

“Move.”

“No, not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong is you’ve wasted my time!  I came all the way out here for some bullshit, spoiled little rich girl fantasy!”

“I don’t understand what’s wrong with love as a reason to do this!”

Copia groaned and shoved his hands into his hair, taking a few steps back from you at the same time. 

“This is a sacred thing. ‘Love’ isn’t enough.  It needs to be more than that.”

“More than love?”  You bit your lip and let your eyes wander around the room. Your own bag was sitting in a chair nearby. There weren’t a lot of things you had traveled with but there was something in there that was more dear to you than anything else you owned.  A token of someone that you longed to speak with again.

Copia was watching you expectantly. Waiting for you to convince him. 

“I love someone and they…they don’t love me anymore.”

“So?  You’re going to torture yourself for months on end, torture me for months on end?  And for what?  To get your boyfriend to love you back?”  

You closed your eyes and started shaking your head, but he used that moment to shove past you. It made you stumble and you had to grab onto the doorway to stay upright. 

“Copia!  Please, you don’t understand!”

“No, dolce, I don’t understand and you’re doing a shit job of fixing that.”  With his bag in hand he turned to glare at you, his icy white eye seemingly staring into your soul. “I’m supposed to summon your guardian angel for you. A being that will grant you anything your heart desires and you’re going to choose making an ex love you again?”

“You get a wish too, don’t forget that.”

“Trust me, dolce, I’m not forgetting that. That wish is the only reason I’m here. It’s the only reason I’ve done this before, that I’ve tried this before.”  He started moving towards the back door again and you flung yourself into the doorway once more. Copia growled and spun around to go through the other door and towards the front of the house. 

Fuck, fuck this couldn’t be happening. You couldn’t let him go, you couldn’t let this chance go. Copia was the only one that could make this happen. The only one that could give you what you wanted. 

“It’s for my child!”  You watched as he froze with a hand on the front door. He didn’t turn around yet, but his hand remained still so you continued, “I lost my child.”

“How?”

“He was taken from me.”  Copia turned then and regarded you, waiting for you to continue.  “My child was kidnapped.  He was murdered and I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“You want to speak to your dead child?”  

Later you’d sob in the room you’d chosen. In your hand you’d clutch the little action figure you always kept with you. The little plastic ghoul your son loved so much. Right now you looked into Copia’s eyes and nodded, silently begged him to change his mind, to help you. When he tossed his bag onto the floor by the door and spoke again you nearly sagged in relief. 

“Okie dokie, let’s get started.”

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[michelle-is-writing]

Left Behind ch.2, Nikki Sixx

Word Count: 1.3k~

Read Chapter 1 here!

TW!: mention of prior drug and alcohol use, rehab, slight angst

Five months of being back in Los Angeles had proven to be just the same as when Nikki and I lived in Los Angeles all that time ago. The only difference was the new apartment I lived in and, of course, Nikki. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night we broke up, and it’s been slowly weighing on me as time goes on. Now six months pregnant, I try to find things that once made me happy like before, but it hasn’t been easy.

I don’t know how Nikki’s doing right now; I don’t even know where he is. The guys called me a lot when I first left, but I never answered their calls, and eventually, they slowly stopped. The only time I answered was when Mick tried calling me, and I explained where I had moved to and why; I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant, however. I hardly even turned on the TV anymore, too afraid to see a news report concerning his death from an overdose, only to be revived in an ambulance afterward.

Hearing what happened made me want to go to him and just make sure he was okay, but I felt like I couldn’t. I knew I was probably the last person he wanted to see, and sadly, I didn’t want to see Nikki the way I saw him before I left, strung out and barely holding onto himself as the heroin constantly coursed through his body. I don’t want memories like that coming to mind when my little girl eventually asks about her father. I want to be able to talk about the good moments we had before everything came crashing down, and I ended up where I am now.

Getting home from my shift as a hospital receptionist, I sit down on my couch and rest as my back relaxes from the reduced straining caused by my large bump. I didn’t think I’d be this big until maybe the last couple of months, but that’s not too far away. I just wish the swollen feet would go away. Out of everything, that has to be the worst part of my pregnancy.

Hearing a knock at my front door, I lift my head from the back of the couch and look toward it. In the time I have rented this place, no one ever comes to my door, not even solicitors.

Standing up from my couch, I walk over to the door before looking out the peephole, only to see an all too familiar figure. However, there are a few differences between him now and the last time I saw him. A small noticeable difference is the small strip of hair growing down his chin. On the other hand, the major difference is the healthy look he has, all while being nervous as he stands in front of my door. I’ve never seen Nikki insecure about anything, always finding confidence from somewhere.

Unlatching my door, I open it, Nikki’s eyes instantly catching mine as he comes into my full view. He doesn’t look sick like he used to, with the skin around his eyes no longer holding a purple hue to it and his cheeks appearing a tad fuller. By the looks of it, Nikki might even pass as clean to someone, but for me, I find myself in disbelief at the thought. I can’t assume anything and make myself hopeful like so many times before.

“Hi,” I murmur, completely lost as I stare at the man in front of me. He shyly smiles back, also appearing lost for words. Mick must’ve told him where I was since I haven’t told anyone else.

“Hi, baby,” he responds, his eyes flickering down to my noticeable bump before flashing back to mine, now wet with tears. “I’ve missed you, a lot… You have no idea.”

“Where have you been, Nikki?” I can’t help but ask, taking a step outside my door to fully face him. His arms awkwardly linger by his sides, not quite knowing what to do with them. A long time ago, Nikki would have instantly taken the chance to pull me close, but now, his actions are halted by uncertainty.

“In all honesty, I’ve been in rehab for the past several months,” he confesses, my eyebrows jolting in slight shock at his revelation. “Me and the guys, we all checked ourselves in. And now, we’re finally clean,” Nikki adds, his smile shining with a bit of pride now. At the same time, I also feel myself proud of him despite everything else.

“That’s great, Nikki,” I tell him, watching a tear slip from his eye. My instincts tell me to wipe it away from his cheek, but the hurt that remains holds me back from doing so.

“I-I know what I said when you left was horrible, and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am,” Nikki tells me, causing the harsh memories to flow back into my mind. “I’m so sorry, baby. I never wanted to hurt you, and I’m sorry I did,” he continues, making me tear up as he steps forward to cup my cheek in his hand. “My memories of us were the only thing getting me through withdrawals, and every time I thought about the night you left, I broke down. I never wanted to lose you, and I never wanted you to go through anything alone.”

My eyes squeezed close at his last comment, the reminder of what he used to say to me, making my heart clench in my chest. “Two against the world,” I can hear his voice from long ago say. The words were a reminder that I wasn’t alone in anything I did; I had someone there to catch me if I fell. But I’ve been alone for a while now, and it’s not that easy for me to just open myself up to him all at once like before, unfortunately.

Seeing his eyes linger on my belly, I find the courage to take his hand in mine and rest it against my bump. “Why don’t you come inside, and we can talk some more,” I suggest, his hand ever so gentle as he runs it against my sweater. “I can show you pictures of our baby girl too, if you’d like,” My voice ends up in a whisper as I say the words I’ve wanted to tell Nikki ever since I discovered our baby’s sex.

At my comment, Nikki looks back at my face with even more tears clouding his eyes before pressing his lips to mine in the softest kiss Nikki has ever given me. His hand still remains on my belly, albeit his fingers are now intertwined with mine. I didn’t think I’d get to do this with Nikki again; I didn’t even know if I’d ever get to see him again.

Pulling away from the kiss, Nikki’s smiling face lingers in front of mine as he rubs his thumb against my cheek. His touch still remains gentle, careful with every move he makes. “I’d love to, baby,” he answers me, his voice choked up a bit. “I’d love to more than anything.”

Smiling back, I can’t help but feel more tears begin falling from my eyes. This feels almost unreal to me, and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming amount of emotions hit me all at once. Nikki holding me just like he used to is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced, and as he wipes away my incessant tears, I realize just how amazing this moment is. Nikki is clean, he knows about his little girl, and he’s finally back. The Nikki I once loved is back.

[lassofics]

Two Aces: Part 4

Word count: 877

Timeline: Season 2

Warnings: None

Summary: Takes place some months after Two Aces: Part 3. Jamie’s return to Richmond makes waves, especially with Dani.

For Dani, the off-season was great. He flew back home to Mexico, was given endless hugs and praises, and had an amazing time.

However, the off-season for Jamie was awful.

Not playing football was bad enough. But being stuck in Manchester, with his old man constantly telling him what to do and berating him if he didn’t do it, was even worse.

But eventually, the season started back up again, and Richmond was more determined than ever to get promoted this season. Dani, ever the optimist, had been bonding with the team through encouragement and positive reinforcement — no matter what.

But then, only a month and a half into the new season, the newspaper headline went viral: “Jamie Tartt Breaks Contract with Man City!”

Dani had read the whole thing in detail, searching for answers. Why would Jamie quit his contract? Was he quitting football altogether? No, that couldn’t be right. Jamie loves football more than life itself.

A week later, another headline: “New Love Island Contestant Jamie Tartt Makes Waves!”

Dani read that one, too. Actually, the whole Richmond team read it — out loud, at one of their team bonding events — despite Lasso’s protests.

Dani had started to dwell on it, his mind not comprehending why Jamie would ever quit a Premier League football team to go on a reality television show. He even considered reaching out. But he had to remind himself: don’t worry about him.

Still, it was a thought that lingered in the back of Dani’s mind, no matter how much he tried to ignore it.

______________

SOME TIME LATER

______________

Everyone knows now that Jamie had gotten voted off the island. Colin and Isaac had been watching the last ten minutes of every episode, just to see who would be kicked out — and to see if it would be Jamie. And only six weeks into the show, it was him.

But the bigger story was a picture on Twitter — of Coach Lasso and Jamie at the pub together.

Speculation was in the air of the locker room. Was Jamie coming back?

Most people were upset about the possibility, considering he’d been a big part of the reason why Richmond was relegated — and considering he’d been a “total prick,” in the words of Isaac. Sam, who Dani had become very close to, was the most upset of all.

But Sam had approached him just this morning. “Don’t worry, Dani,” he’d said, looking relieved. “I talked to Coach Lasso. Jamie isn’t coming back.”

Somehow, that didn’t make Dani feel better. A part of him had been hoping to play alongside Jamie again, to bond with him once more. Despite his prickly nature, Dani had genuinely enjoyed his company. But it looked like that wouldn’t be a possibility anymore.

Needless to say, everyone is shocked to see Jamie the next day, casually walking out from the tunnel onto the pitch.

Jamie swallows nervously. Everyone’s staring at him, and if he’d thought the way they looked at him during their relegation match was bad… this is a thousand times worse.

Roy, standing off to the side, looks like he wants to bash his head in. Colin and Isaac, his former sidekicks, are whispering to each other, and neither looks happy to see him. Sam, the one who Jamie owes the biggest apology to, just looks exasperated.

And then, there’s Dani. Jamie lets out a soft exhale, then makes eye contact. They stare at each other in silence for a few moments… before Dani starts to break into that same warm, inviting smile that had always made Jamie’s stomach churn. That effect clearly hasn’t gone away.

“Amigo Jamie!” Dani greets him, though his tone seems more… tentative. Hesitant, almost.

Jamie, trying to play it cool, conjures up a small, nervous smile of his own. “Hey, Dani.”

Ignoring the glares of the other players, Dani walks forward, right towards Jamie. And before Jamie even knows what’s happening, Dani’s arms are around him in a sweet embrace.

It takes Jamie’s brain a while to catch up to what’s happening. When he finally processes it, he slowly brings his arms up around Dani, almost awkwardly. He isn’t used to being hugged, and he sure as hell hadn’t been expecting it from the guy he’d been ghosting for almost a year.

“I missed you,” Dani murmurs, one of his palms absentmindedly rubbing Jamie’s back. Jamie can only exhale.

Dani himself is a little nervous, since they haven’t spoken at all since Jamie left, but he swallows his nerves and just pulls back from the hug with a soft smile. “We should catch up, yes?” He gently pats Jamie’s arms. “We could go to that sushi place you always talked about.”

A chill runs down Jamie’s spine. He’d forgotten how bloody good Dani’s memory was. He hadn’t “always talked about it.” He’d only mentioned it a few times.

After a moment, Jamie just nods. “Yeah, uh… I’d like that,” he mumbles softly, still a bit distracted by everyone staring at them.

Dani’s smile brightens, his eyes lighting up when Jamie says yes. “Great!”

Jamie nods again, still with a small smile, but his mind is racing. He takes a deep breath, then just steels himself for training.