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asmileforyourscrapbooks · 7 months ago

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It's the summer of 2001.

Joe meets Patrick and he’s like, “Yo! i know about music.” and Patrick’s like, “Yo! I know more about music~!” “THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!111 ...Do you wanna start a band?” and Patrick’s like, “Yeah, that’s cool” and then he’s like, “Yo! this is a bookstore, it’s not a music store!” And then they met at Patrick’s house. so, Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin’ reason. and Pete’s there for some reason. they start playing music together and they’re like, “oh, let’s play some fucking covers from some other bands!” there was like Green Day, and fucking Misfits, and fuckin Ramones. Pete said to Joe, “Yo! We gotta change this shit up!” — HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — *sips beer* — “Yo, we played all these bands, let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy” and so Pete and Patrick were like, “Yo, that’s dope. but we need a fucking drummer!” because Patrick’s playing drums and he’s a singer! Patrick’s like, “Yo! I got a soul voice!” and they’re like, “wait! how do you have a soul voice?” and he’s like, “Yo, watch this – YEAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAEEEEEEEHEEEEEYEEEEHEEEEHHH” and they’re like, “ Oh my God, that sounds like soul!” so they put it in a song, it was like, “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTTTT” — THHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — and then they’re like, “Yo, that’s fuckin perfect. this is fall out boy” — *drinks beer* —

And they made records like ‘Evening out with your ex-girlfriend’ Evening out with your ex-girlfriend everybody loves it — “It’s called evening out with your girlfriend” — With your ex-girlfriend? It’s called evening out with your ex-girlfriend. It’s called eating out your girlfriend and it’s real and it doesn’t matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like, “yooo, what the fuuuuuck!!?? YO THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKIN DOOOPE” so they made a record and it was called ‘Take This to Your Grave’. They made it without a drummer! and they had like three, four drummers come in; the four drummers ahead come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto — tnghhhh — the fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they’re like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley.” “Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, fuckin record it.” And he did it and he killed it and he was like, “BEGEDEGEDUGUDLULULUHHHLAHLAH BSHHH” Killin the skins! Tappin the skins! Tappin the rim! Playing the shit! Killin these bitches! Wrappin it out! — THAHAHA YOU’RE GETTING A FUCKING TATTOO RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OON!!?? —

“We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on” they were like, “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is which is not fucking hard -” — tnghhh — “- we will sign you guys” he was like, “yo! we got this record that’s fuckin dope dude!” it’s called Take This To Your Grave. It’s called From Under The Cork Tree, it’s gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick was like, “I gotta keep it real. I gotta keep it artistic. These are - These are three songs that are gonna make the album it’s called — *burp* — this is called Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Twenty Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar, We’re Goin Down. And they made this record that was fuckin dope and they fucking hit on the charts like ONE, TWO, THREE! THREE, TWO, ONE! THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEEENNN! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records… ten million records… FIFTEEN MILLION RECORDS!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick was like, “THAT’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD”

Pete was like, “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like, “Yeah, that’s cool man whatever I don’t give a shit” and then Andy was like, “Eh. Cool!” and Pete was like, “Makeup is fuckin great for a guy because it makes a guy look beautiful which a lot of times a guy is not beautiful and i wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful”

— SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. “I’m good so far” “Do you wanna spit one more time?” “Yeah, I do.” SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. NGHHH SHUT THE FUCK! HAHAHA OH FUCK ALRIGHT ALRIGHT —

Pete was like, “Oh my god! I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” and then I saw the dick pic and I was like, “Eh, it’s not bad! It’s not a bad dick. Let’s be real.”

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so PISSED! they were like, “yo, fuck you guys!” They’re like, “YO PANIC! HAS THE FUCKING COVER OF ROLLING STONE!? YO FUCK THESE DUDES WE’RE GONNA FUCKING GO MILES ABOVE! WE’RE GONNA HIT EVERY FUCKING CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!” but they didn’t! because they missed a second of time! Apparently, they were like, “Oh shit we got every continent!” When they didn’t actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!?!?” OOOOH YOU DIDN’T FUCKIN MAKE THE CONTINENT! IT’S LIKE FUCK YOU!

So From Under The Cork Tree happens we fuckin have three four years of awesomeness like people were coming on themselves cuz it’s so big.

Alright, so Fall Out Boy was like —

So Patrick was like, “Yo we’re gonna name this record From ooo - From Under The Cork Tree and from Inninity from EHEHAHA From Infinity on High.

Pete was like, "Yo, Folie A Deux means the theatric of two” — “The Madness of Two” “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” —

Fall Out Boy was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning Pete was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like “I need time for my music - OOOOUUNGHHH” and Joe’s like, “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin art dude i gotta find some fuckin muh-metal” and andy’s like, “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands :D” and they’re like, “Alright, this break’s from like three years long two years long three years long three and a half?” “we gotta fuckin come back man we gotta come back STRONG”

— YOU TOOK MY BEER AWAY WHAT THE FUCK “you poured it all over yourself” —

“We gotta make this shit legit, it’s gonna be fuckin dope it’s gonna go fuckin sky high! we’re gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies!” “skieees” “we’re gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll”

So they made Alone Together, Light Em Up, Alone Together, The Phoenix. Everyone was like, “What the fuuuck?? you were going to the sky you fucking recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” — “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ON MY SHIRT DID I PEE ON MYSELF?” “You poured beer all over yourself” “oh god” —

Pete was like, “Yo, we’re gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots” TAHAHA *burp. spit.*

And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. and that’s just how the fuckin story goes.

#fall out boy #fob #joe trohman #patrick stump #pete wentz #andy hurley #fob patrick #p!atd #brendon urie

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kalinihta · 8 months ago

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𝐂. 𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 — 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋

a/n: my first post on this account (and fiction writing in months)! i’m not that great of a writer so corrections are appreciated but please don’t be rude to me or anyone on my blog. i hope you enjoy this:)

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plot: reader is a jazz singer in the wastelands and she sings about her husband of a lifetime.

trope: cooper howard x reader, the ghoul x reader

fandom: fallout

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even after the bombs, the living still needed entertainment. good thing i was still alive. i owned a small little jazz club downtown of filly, many people came to see me — ghouls, raiders, you name it. i made my living off bottlecaps from the entry fee and tips. 20 bottle caps for entry and i usually got tips above 30. i used my caps to buy meds, meds for my husband.

my husband’s a ghoul, somehow im not. i was already examining a vault when the bombs had dropped. coop had a birthday party gig, i felt i shouldve begged him to come with me to the vault, but i hadn’t. i should’ve trusted my instincts that day. nonetheless i still love him, hes still a divine being in my eyes.

currently, im backstage getting ready for a performance. cooper was out hunting a bounty, said he might be back in a couple days. i sighed as i combed my hair, i held my gaze in the mirror. if something were to happen to him i dont know what i’d do.

standing up, i examined myself in the mirror.

i think im ready..

as i walked out of the room i gave dogmeat i quick pet before walking out on stage. my heels clicked on the medium sized stage, gazes locked on my body, and commotion erupted. cat calls and claps echoed through the small club. one i had reached the mic i turned to my piano player and nodded. he smiled and began to play.

You're no good for me

Baby, you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want…

i paused for a moment, a small blanket of whistles covered my ears. i took a breath and closed my eyes.

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

Baby, put on heart shaped sunglasses

'Cause we gonna take a ride

I'm not gonna listen to what the past says

I've been waiting up all night

i heard the old doors of the club open, but i didnt pay any attention and kept singing. silent foot steps echoed the club as i kept my eyes closed. i heard them pause for a moment before sitting on one of the many squeaky chairs.

Hurt me and tell me you're mine

I don't know why but I like it

Scary? My God, you're divine

Gimme them, gimme them dope and diamonds

whispers and mumbling always came up during this song. they speculated my lover physically hurt me, when it was never physically. he always had a way with my heart, and no matter how much bad news he told me i always was there for him. it’s not like he abused me, oh no, never. it was just sad to see him go through so much that it even hurt me.

as i sang along, i slowly opened my eyes to gaze around the room. many men’s stares and some women smiling and talking. as my eyes roamed i spotted a familiar cowboy. my eyes widened slightly seeing him here, he said he wouldn’t be back for days… i pushed away that thought and lightly smiled at him, holding his gaze. the song ended, i thanked everyone for being there and went off the stage and left the band to play. claps and whistles erupted as i left the stage.

as i cleaned off my makeup, i felt a hand on my shoulder. i looked up in the mirror and smiled.

“you know, that makeup made you awfully pretty, darlin’.”

i giggled. i looked up at him and held the hand that was on my shoulder.

“you did pick it out, remember? 200 years ago…”

i spoke softly. his hard gaze softened lightly, brushing my hair with his hand. he pressed a kiss to my head and held me for a moment.

“you said you wouldn’t be back for days, what happened?”

“well, sweetheart, the guy just so happened to be traveling on his way to filly. speaking of filly…”

he reached in his pocket, rummaging for a moment. he pulled out a beautiful ring that looked oh so familiar. our engagement ring.

he held it out between his two fingers, his gaze all over his face. i sighed deeply, tears building up. he softly smiled, wiping the tears that did fall.

“i just so happened to find our engagement rings. the rings that had been stolen from us, oh so, long ago, darlin’.”

“thank you…”

i breathed out. i was so surprised he found them, the same rings that matched our eyes. they were very dear to us, my ring matched his eyes, and his matched mine. i let him slide the ring on my finger, i gazed at it before jumping to give him a hug. he stood still for a moment, slowly moving to encase me in his grasp.

“do you find me scary, sweetheart?”

“scary? my god, you’re divine…”

i pulled back slightly to look at him. my hands held his face. we both leaned in and encased ourselves in a kiss, a soft embrace.

#cooper howard #cooper howard x reader #the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #fallout #fallout prime

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the-obnoxious-sibling · 1 year ago

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in which buggy doesn’t sleep well, missed breakfast food so much in prison, tells tall tales, and schedules a—not a date. a… day to catch up with an old… person. shanks. whatever.

the next part to this story, which is a follow-up to this one, which was itself a second take at—actually, here’s a tag for all of the near miss stories & related talk, go there if you want the context. (i’ve linked to the chronological order sorting of the tag, so you should see the “thinking about near misses in east blue” post first.)

Buggy was still mad at Galdino hours later, when he got fed up with his feet being tripped over in the dark and the rest of him (sitting up in the rigging, sulking hiding just sitting) had gotten cold. But given the very limited space on the Red Force, it was either bunk with someone or sleep on the deck, and Buggy was not about to do that. The men—ugh, now Galdino had him doing it!—were way too excited about following Buggy’s every move, he shuddered to think what they might do at night. Assuming he could even get to sleep with all of them hovering like that.

So if he was bunking with someone, there was really only the one option: the only other guest on this ship who’d treated him like a human being.

But he wasn’t happy about it.

Galdino paid him no mind, using a borrowed mirror to inspect himself as he prepared for bed, applying a thin layer of wax along the edge of his hairline. When he was done with the mirror, he silently held it up so Buggy could look himself over. He used pretty long-lasting makeup, the better to survive bloody fistfights and brackish ocean spray—and some of it had even survived the sterilizing baths they dunked you in when you arrived at Impel Down! Buggy would write to the brand, to tell them to use that fact in their advertising, but that degree of longevity probably wasn’t a huge selling point now that Ivankov and his ilk had escaped the prison.

Anyway, nothing had happened today that could really mess it up. His face was fine.

…it could use a touch-up, though. Just to solidify the linework on the crossbones, make the edge of his lip really crisp. Buggy touched the corner of his lip, considering, and very much against his will recalled how it had felt for someone else to touch that part of his face.

It had been a long time.

Not so long that Shanks’ hand was the first to touch him since Shanks, mind you. But a long time all the same.

He scowled, and threw himself into bed. Touching up his makeup—and who, exactly, would he be doing that for?! That kind of thinking could wait until morning. When, hopefully, he would have recovered his sanity in full.

As he was drifting off, Buggy heard Galdino roll over and say, softly, “You may think of that guy as some dope you used to sail with, but fact is he’s an Emperor. One who’s taken an interest in you. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“And who asked you to do that?” Buggy muttered into his pillow.

“No one,” Galdino acknowledged. “But if I’m hitching my wagon to yours—and it sure looks like that’s what’s happening here—I want to make sure we aren’t about to ride off a cliff.”

With that grim visual in his head, Buggy sunk into an uneasy sleep.

The next day dawned warm and bright. Buggy had thoughtlessly picked a bed that sat under the one small window in the room, right where an early morning sunbeam would shine in his face. He groaned a protest, but unfortunately, once up he was up. Leaving Galdino to sleep his fill, he stretched, grumbled, and made himself presentable.

(This did not involve touching up his makeup in any way.)

A handful of Red-Haired Pirates were also up and about, though Buggy couldn’t tell how many were early risers and how many had been on watch overnight. A few nodded at him with the bleary eyes of hungover men. Uneasy at the acknowledgement, however small, Buggy ducked into the mess, praying that there would be something hot to eat at this hour.

Prayers were answered in the form of the ever-grinning Lucky Roux, who was setting out large pans of a few types of porridge under warming lamps, with toppings (both savory and sweet) laid out in small bowls. Buggy opted for oats with some dried fruit and syrup on top, something that would fill him up and leave a sweet aftertaste. Though he might go back for the rice porridge later if he could get a soft-boiled egg to go with it… oh, eggs. He’d missed eggs.

There were also two steaming pots of liquid sitting to one side, one a tisane that smelled oddly familiar—after a moment, Buggy remembered the hangover cure Rayleigh had sworn by, and had to bite back a nauseous stab of nostalgia. He went for the other, not caring what it was so long as it was hot. It turned out to be awfully bitter, so he stole a bit of the porridge syrup to sweeten it.

Loaded down with food and drink, Buggy set himself up next to the kitchen, facing the rest of the mess. No one would be able to sneak up on him but Roux, and the day a man that size could—

“Any special requests?”

Biting back a shriek, Buggy spun to see Roux poking his head through a small window between the kitchen and mess. “I’m no short-order cook,” he said with a grin, “but this early I’m happy to make people what they want, so long as I have the ingredients on hand.”

What Buggy really wanted was a hot dog. Fuck, he missed bread. And meat. But he didn’t want a cheffy take on it, he wanted the greasy sausage and halfway stale bun you got when you bought a hot dog at a boardwalk. Since that wasn't likely to happen… “Over-easy eggs and toast? Oh, and ham, or bacon, whatever meat you’ve got.”

“That, I can do.”

Buggy dug into his oats, watching other men slowly creep into the mess in varying states of wakefulness and dress. The most tired looking came straight to the kitchen, where Roux already had plates waiting—the night watch men, then, being rewarded for that unpleasant duty. That was smart, Buggy thought, reluctant but firm in his admiration. If he ever got a really top-tier chef in his crew, that’d be the way to get people to do the worst chores: give them good food after.

“Building Snake says we're making landfall this afternoon?” one of the night watch guys said to another. Buggy tried to lean in without making it obvious that he was eavesdropping. “Seriously, that soon?”

“We need to resupply if we're gonna keep housing these guys for much longer,” the other replied, glancing over at a cluster of Whitebeard Pirates around one table, Marco’s distinctive tuft of fiery orange hair poking out of the center. “We buy goods today, give all of them shore leave so they aren't in the way while we load up tomorrow, and if the winds favor us we offload the clown and his troupe the next day.”

Buggy twitched. What now?

“Oh, did Rockstar find the Buggy Pirates already?” Roux asked, handing the pair of men their plates. “When’s he gonna learn he doesn't have to work so hard to impress us?” The three of them shared a laugh over this overachiever who’d apparently found Buggy’s ship in under a day. (The hell were they doing so close to the Calm Belt?) Leaning down to hand Buggy his requested dish, Roux said, “Only three days from your crew! That must be a relief, huh?”

Ignoring the startled looks on the night watch pair’s faces as they ran off—yes, Buggy had been here the whole time, so good of you to finally notice—Buggy grabbed the plate and breathed in deeply. Eggs soft as silk, bacon just the far side of well-done, toast triangles gleaming with butter… god damn, but it was worth being awake at this hour to get quality food. “It’ll be nice to be home,” he said around a mouthful, “but I’ll miss this.”

Roux burst into big, booming laughter. “You guys! Always so appreciative of good food. I’d expected to rate higher than prison fare, but I’m flattered to hear I’m also better than your usual!”

In the middle of stabbing the yolks of his eggs with a sharp corner of toast , Buggy squinted suspiciously up at Roux. “What do you mean by ‘you guys?’”

“I mean Roger Pirates, of course!”

Buggy blinked.

“Shanks is always happy to eat whatever, but he can’t hide how much happier he is when I make his favorites. And that Silvers Rayleigh…” Roux shook his head.

Buggy nearly choked on an egg. “You’ve met Rayleigh?!”

“Oh sure, about ten years back? We’d barely been on the Grand Line six months, just hit Sabaody and were debating whether to move forward to the New World or stay in Paradise a little longer, and suddenly Shanks was running off to talk to this old man. Of course I had to feed him, if just to prove to the guy that I deserved my job. He really—” Roux sniffed the air, spun around and yelped, and disappeared back into the kitchen.

So that was how they had Rayleigh’s hangover cure on this ship. “Sabaody, huh…?” Buggy wouldn't have thought he’d end up there, with how often world nobles visited the place. Did Rayleigh have a death wish? Or was he just old enough at this point to escape notice? Buggy snorted. Lucky him.

A storm of feet came thundering from out on the deck, drawing the attention of most of the room—until the mess door flung open to reveal a cluster of men in ragged Impel Down uniforms. They spotted Buggy and cried out, “Captain Buggy! There you are!”

This got eye rolls and looks of annoyance all around, which Buggy almost wanted to join in on. Seriously, did these guys need their hands held on the way to the bathroom too?

“Here I am,” he said dryly, sipping at his drink. “Don’t you people remember what mealtimes are? Where else would I be at this hour?” Ignoring their responses (“Of course! Captain Buggy’s so smart!” “So logical!”), he edged a little closer to the wall, having a feeling he was about to get crushed.

The men did flock to his side the second they were able—attempting to offer choice bits of food to him, like he didn’t clearly already have something better on his plate—but their devotion was thankfully balanced by respect, and they didn’t sit so close he couldn’t breathe.

They were still totally incapable of keeping their mouths shut, though.

“Captain Buggy, will you tell us of another of your adventures?”

Buggy bit back a grimace as pirates less enamored with him gave his group a dirty look. Yeah, he wouldn’t want to be in tight quarters with them either, if he were hungover and not a Buggy fan. But how could he ignore their request? “Sure! Anything for you guys!” What stories hadn’t he told yet…? “Have I told you the story of… how my crew acquired our fiercest member, Richie the Lion?”

“A lion?!” “No, Captain Buggy!”

“Alright, then. It all started when my brave crew was exploring a jungle island, years ago…” The actual story of how they’d gotten Richie was nothing special—it was really the story of how he’d met Mohji, a mistreated performer in an East Blue circus where Buggy had hidden out until the first time someone mentioned his nose, at which point he wrecked the place. But who here would know if he adapted the story of a day he’d spent on a jungle island with Captain Roger and Shanks? (…besides the obvious person, of course.) So he wove a tale of cleverness and might, of Captain Buggy spotting a dangerous beast that had a crying child trapped up in a tree and tricking it into pursuing him instead, only for the lion to be instantly tamed by his sheer power… and of course, Buggy being richly rewarded for the rescue.

“And that’s why we named him Richie,” Buggy concluded. “After the riches and fortune he brought me that day.”

“How touching!” “How bold!” “How amazing!”

How exhausting. “Now,” Buggy said, mopping up a smear of egg yolk with his last corner of toast, “are you satisfied for the moment, or do you need another—” Glancing up, he nearly choked on his bite. Shanks was standing in the midst of the men, sipping from a steaming hot mug and watching Buggy with an amused smile on his face. That fucker definitely remembered being stuck up a tree with a lion clawing at their feet. “Shanks! W-what do you want?”

“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” he said, glancing down at the man sitting across the table from Buggy. It seemed the men had been so captivated by Buggy’s storytelling that they hadn’t noticed Shanks either; now that they had, they quickly moved to accommodate him. Taking the suddenly empty seat, he set down his mug—Buggy’s nose wrinkled up, it was the hangover tisane—and leaned his chin on his fist. “If you’re taking requests, how about when we first met Oden? That’s a good story.”

“I—that—” Like hell Shanks just wanted a story.

Lucky Roux got Buggy’s attention, and held out a plate clearly meant for Shanks; it was the same kind of breakfast he’d favored as a child, down to the diced tomatoes perched atop the eggs—originally a deterrent to keep Buggy from stealing his food, at some point it had become a highlight of the dish for Shanks, the freak.

…maybe he did just want a story. For all that he was an Emperor now, Shanks didn’t seem to have changed much as a person. Buggy passed the plate along to Shanks, and tried to relax. “That is a good one.”

Turning to the men watching this exchange wide-eyed, Buggy barked out, “Now, who among you swabs recognizes the name of Kozuki Oden, once heir to the shogunate of Wano?!” This got a couple of looks of recognition, but mostly confusion—except for, from the far side of the room, a few angry grumbles. Buggy laughed. “Don’t tell me the Whitebeards still hold a grudge? Just because our crews fought for three days, and Oden chose to come with us in the end?”

This garnered a far more impressed reaction from the ex-prisoner crowd, and some narrow-eyed looks from the Whitebeards. Oh, they definitely still held a grudge. But Shanks was smiling ever so slightly, and that was enough to make Buggy smirk and say, “Well, feel free to offer corrections if you think I’m telling the story wrong.”

And then he told the most overblown, exaggerated version of events he possibly could.

Some of the Whitebeard Pirates threw out corrections—and insults against Buggy’s memory and honesty—but Buggy gave as good as he got, Shanks occasionally chimed in with falsely innocuous comments like “that’s not how I remember it” to their corrections, and the story was all the better for the pushback. That was the thing with lying: the larger lie sounded more believable when someone objected to small details, because your audience assumed that everything that hadn’t been corrected must be true.

For all the insults and slander tossed around about dead men, the mood in the room was significantly lighter by the time Buggy finished the story. Most of the Red-Haired Pirates had left, their duties for the morning calling, but the former prisoners and Whitebeard Pirates lingered to hear Buggy out until the end, with Oden and his family sailing off on the Oro Jackson, Whitebeard’s men calling out fond farewells and complaints at his disloyalty in equal measure.

Even Marco the Phoenix was convinced to speak up at that point, saying, “Pops never forgave Roger for that, yoi,” with a slight, sad smile.

“For stealing Oden?” Buggy snorted a laugh. “If you wanted him to stick around, you should’ve gone to the last island yourselves! That man wanted adventure, and we were going on the greatest one imaginable.”

Marco protested—Oden had been like family to Whitebeard, didn’t that mean something?—and with the story complete and the breakfast hour long passed, the crowd began to disperse. (They’d learned yesterday that people who lingered in the mess tended to get roped into dishwashing duty, whether they were crew aboard the Red Force or not.) A couple people still remained: Shanks, who’d spent so much time egging on the Whitebeards that he’d scarcely touched his food; Marco, going back for a third or fourth cup of the not-tisane; and a few especially devoted ex-prisoners, staring starry-eyed at Buggy.

“The last island…” One of them breathed. “Captain Buggy, what’s it like?”

Buggy blinked. “Laugh Tale?” He glanced at Shanks, who was watching him with a perfectly neutral expression, then down at the bitter dregs left in his cup. What to say? Buggy flushed. He wouldn’t—couldn’t—lie about this. “I, uh, I don’t know.”

“What?!”

“We didn’t go,” Shanks said, getting a grateful look from Buggy and surprise from the rest of the room. “Buggy got sick, and I stayed behind to look after him.” This won Shanks some undeserved admiration from Buggy’s fans—what a sacrifice he’d made, and for Captain Buggy’s sake! Yeah, right.

…well.

Well.

What other reason could he have had, to stay behind?

Galdino’s (terrible, awful) words from yesterday popped up in Buggy’s head. Gah, surely not that! Surely he hadn’t—not back then. Surely he didn’t now, for that matter! Buggy grimaced. It wasn’t like he could just ask, not around all these people.

Not around them. But maybe…

“Shanks, I—”

“Listen, Buggy…”

They blinked, dumbfounded. After a moment’s silence, Shanks gestured for Buggy to go ahead.

Buggy scratched at an itch along his jawline. It would be nice to be back on the Big Top, where he could get something like a clean shave again. But before that… if he could just get the question out. He gritted his teeth. Why was asking for things so hard? “Yesterday, you said you’d like to sit down and catch up if you weren’t so busy. If you really meant that… I hear tomorrow’s gonna be a shore day, at least for people who don’t have a real role on your ship, so I was thinking…” Buggy shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe we could do that? Can you spare an hour for me?”

“Yeah!” Shanks grinned, so wide and bright Buggy could hardly bear to look at it. “Yeah, I’d love that. But forget an hour, I can give you the whole day.” When Buggy frowned, puzzled, Shanks explained, “I was about to ask you to spend time with me.”

Buggy laughed under his breath. “Figures.” All those nerves for nothing! If he’d just kept his mouth shut a few seconds longer, Shanks would’ve asked, and then Buggy could’ve looked like he was doing him a favor by giving him exactly what Buggy wanted. Oh, well. Turning to the men hovering behind him, Buggy snapped, “You hear that?! You boys are gonna have to find something else to do tomorrow, I’m gonna be too busy to hang around telling you stories of my greatness!”

“Yessir, Captain Buggy!” (“Wow! An elite captain-to-captain meeting!”)

“And if any of you dare to follow or interrupt us, you’ll live to regret it! Spread the word!”

The men disappeared obediently. Buggy let himself bask for a moment—god, but it was nice to be listened to. Even if they did take it to extremes. And even if they only did it because they thought Buggy was a pirate on Captain Roger’s level, and not just a kid the guy had taken a liking to. And even if… with a little sigh, Buggy turned back around. Gathering up his dishes—even if he managed to avoid dishwashing duty today, clearing his place was the least he could do—Buggy glanced up at Shanks and froze at the look on his face. That fond little smile… heat rushed to Buggy’s cheeks, and he groaned, shoving a hand in Shanks’ face.

“Don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?” Shanks laughed, pushing Buggy’s hand out of the way, still looking at him like…

“Like—” Buggy remembered Galdino’s words and violently shoved the memory down. He remembered a similar look on Shanks’ face, years ago, and violently shoved that memory down too. Getting to his feet, he floated his stack of plates through the kitchen window and bolted. “Just don’t!”

But even as he left, he knew Shanks’ expression hadn’t changed. He was still looking at Buggy like he liked him.

And Buggy had just agreed to spend the day with him tomorrow.

What had he been thinking?

#notfic #every day this thing gets less and less notficcy… i’ve capitalized things this time (gasp)#well ao3 crossposting *is* gonna happen so i might as well make editing for that eventuality easier on me #the near miss fics #one piece #shuggy #shanks #buggy

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sepdet · 4 months ago

Text

[9.11.24] Seth Meyers summarizes Trump's presidency and everything he's done since in an incredible 60 second monologue.

Transcript below.

This monologue is from the end of Late Night with Seth Meyers on 9/11, the day after the Hartus-Trump debate. As Seth Meyers speaks at his desk, an inset video slideshow on the left shows images to match his words, either newspaper headlines or photos or short video clips.

Seth begins:

Donald Trump's entire argument, aside from weird lies about eating dogs and windmills and Hannibal Lecter, boils down to one thing. When he left office, things were awesome.

[Screen changes temporarily to clip of the debate with Trump speaking]: I created one of the greatest economies in the history of our country. We did a phenomenal job with the pandemic. We handed them over a country where the economy and where the stock market was higher than it was before the pandemic came in. Nobody's ever seen anything like it. [End of clip]

Back to Seth:

Ah, yes, I remember the halcyon days of 2020, when the economy was soaring and toilet paper was plentiful, and we weren't all wiping our mail down with Clorox, and filming our TV shows at home without our hair and makeup teams leaving us all looking like ghosts haunting a Dickensian orphanage. [ British accent] "Please help me! I've been trapped here ever since I died from eating spoiled gruel!"

[ Normal voice ] I can't believe I have to remind some people of this, but Donald Trump's presidency did not end well. Just in case you need it, here's a quick refresher. This shouldn't take too long.

Seth: Donald Trump was the first president since Herbert Hoover to oversee a net job loss. Unemployment soared, and the economy shrank by more than 3%. Corporate profits went up while manufacturing jobs declined. Home prices soared by nearly 30%. The national debt rose by nearly $8 trillion. Crime spiked. The number of Americans without health insurance rose by 3 million, and the number of presidents who have humped American flags went from 0 to 1.

He undercut the nation's response to a deadly pandemic that spiraled out of control because he ignored warnings about it, lied about its severity, disbanded agencies that were tasked with preparing for it, promoted sham treatments for it, said we could stop it by injecting disinfectant, and promoted a quack doctor who believes demon sperm is real, insulted servicemembers and feuded with Gold Star families, saluted a North Korean general, got reprimanded by the Army for desecrating Arlington National Cemetery in violation of federal law, and made the Queen of England disappear.

Said he had the best memory in the world, then forgot he said he had the best memory in the world, got laughed at by the United Nations, including the Germans, got impeached for threatening to withhold military aid from Ukraine, and encouraged Russia to interfere in our elections.

He doctored a weather map with a Sharpie to lie about the path of a hurricane, threw paper towels at hurricane victims, called Hannibal Lecter his wonderful man. A chief of staff called him an idiot. His national security adviser called him a dope. A secretary of state called him a moron. He got on a plane with toilet paper stuck to his shoe and didn't know how to close an umbrella.

He took millions from foreign officials, including a possible $10 million bribe from Egypt, brushed dandruff off the shoulder of the president of France. He staged a months-long coup attempt, stoked a violent insurrection, tried to coerce

Republican officials, into overturning the election, claim dead people were voting and Democrats were selling mail ballots, got impeached a second time.

He brought a crazy pillow salesman to the White House, and his lawyer gave a press conference at a landscaping company.

He lost the popular vote twice, got indicted four times, convicted of 34 felony counts, falsified business records to pay hush money to a porn star who said she spanked him in the ass with "Forbes" magazine. He was found guilty of fraud and libel and sexual abuse, possibly farted and definitely fell asleep in court.

Bragged about overturning Roe v. Wade, said he was against a Florida abortion ban, then said he was for the Florida abortion bill. Called the CEO of Apple Tim Apple, called Elon Musk "Leon Musk," said Nikki Haley was the Speaker of the House on January 6th, claimed the price of bacon goes up because the windmills blow, shark attacks are caused by electric boat batteries, again said Hannibal Lecter was dead and real, wonderful, even though he's fake and famously a bad guy, insists he's not weird by saying the word "weird" 11 times in 30 seconds, which is, let's admit it, super weird.

Became the first president -- [photo at this point shows Trump staring straight at the sun without eclipse glasses before the 2017 eclipse]

And, guys, we ran out of time, but there were a bunch more things.

#us politics #video #transcribed #late night with seth meyers #seth meyers #donald trump

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chaoticbuggybitchboy · 6 months ago

Note

It’s summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “Yo, I know about music.”

And Patrick’s like “Yo, I know more about music.”

"That’s impossible! Do you wanna start a band?”

And Patrick’s like, “…Yeah… That’s cool.”

And then he’s like “Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And they're like “Oh, let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones!

Pete said to Joe, “Yo, we gotta change this shit up! Yo, we’ve played all these bands; let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.”

And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer!

Patrick's like “Yo! I got a soul voice!”

And they're like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice?”

And he’s like “Yo, watch this: Yeah!”

And they’re like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!”

And then they’re like: “Yo, that's fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it.

[Pete corrects Brendon]

(It's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend.)

[Brendon ignores Pete]

With Your Ex-Girlfriend! It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend!

It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo, what the FUCK! Yo, this is gonna be fuckin’ DOPE!”

So they made a record, and it was called: Take This To Your Grave.

They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in.

The four drummers they had come in were like: Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto… The fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something.

And they were like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This To Your Grave. Fuckin' record it.” And he did it, and he killed it.

He was like, Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh!

Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

[Brendon to Pete]

(You're getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!)

“We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know what the fuck is going on.”

And they were like “Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys."

Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope, dude! It's called Take This To Your Grave.“

Hey, it's gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, it's gonna be fuckin' huge.

And then Patrick’s like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called (burp), this is called: 'Thnks fr th Mmrs,' '20 Dollar Nose Bleed,' and 'Sugar, We're Goin' Down.'

And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like: one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE!

From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records!

Ten million records!

Fifteen million records!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “That's good!”

Pete was like “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!”

Joe was like “Yeah, it's cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “Eh… Cool!”

And Pete was like "Makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful."

(-I'm good so far.

-You wanna spit one more time?

-Yeah, I do.

...Shut the fuck!..)

Pete was like “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!”

And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like “Eh, it's not bad. It's not a bad dick. Let’s be real.”

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed!

They were like “Yo, fuck you guys!”

They were like “Yo! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, fuck these dudes! We're gonna fucking go miles above! We're gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!”

But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time.

Apparently, they were like: “Oh, shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like "What the FUCK?”

Oh, you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. It's like, fuck you!

So From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomeness!

Like people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big!

So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick’s like “Yo, we're gonna name this record From Under The Cork Tree and From Infinity On High.”

Pete was like “Yo, Folie à Deux means the Theatric of Two.”

Fall Out Boy was like “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break bro”

And Patrick’s like, “I need time for my music! Uhhh!”

And Joe's like “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.”

And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands.”

And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long.

Three years long.

Three and a half?

We gotta fuckin’ come back man. We gotta come back strong!

(-You took my beer away, what the fuck?!

-No, you poured it all over yourself!

-Yeah, you poured it on yourself, man.)

We gotta make this shit legit. It's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies.

We're gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll.

So they made "Alone Together", "Light 'Em Up", "Alone Together", "Phoenix".

And everyone’s like “What the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!”

(-What the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on my shirt?

-No, you poured beer all over yourself.

-Oh god...)

Pete was like: “Yo, we're gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.”

(Burp, spit)

And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that is how the fucking story goes.

The loading screen is frozen I …

h uh ?

#chaoticbuggybitchboy #someone asked #my head hurts and I sont actually go to any of here

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wednesdaythesecond · 7 months ago

Note

5: Do you take drugs?

nah, i'm edge

6: Age you get mistaken for

strangely, 15 and 24 exactly are the ones i get the most

16: I’ll love you if

you listen to me explain the plots of fanfics i swear i'll get around to writing one day

18: Most traumatic experience

It’s summer of 2001...

Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “yo, I know about music” and Patrick’s like “yo, I know more about music” “that’s impossible. Do you wanna start a band?” And Patrick’s like “…yeah… that’s cool.” And then he’s like “ yo, this is a book store it's not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there, for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And there like “ oh let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones! Pete said to Joe “yo we gotta change this shit up! Yo we’ve played all these bands let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! And he’s like “yo! I got a soul voice!” And there like “wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he’s like “yo watch this! YEeeeeEeeeeEeeaaaAAAH!” and they’re like “oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!?!!!?!”

And then they’re like “yo, this is fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening out with your ex-girlfriend. its called evening out with your ex girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesent matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo what the Fuuuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin’ dooooope!” So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from toto… The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, “yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin record it.” And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

“We should get signed, to fueled by ramen. Cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on.” And they were like “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin hard. We will sign you guys.’ Pete was like ” yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope dude!! Its called, take this to your grave.“ Hey, its gonna be called from under the cork tree, its gonna be fuckin huge. And then Patrick’s like "I gotta keep it real,I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… This is called Thanks for the memories, 20 dollar nosebleed, and Sugar were going down..” And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!!! TEN TO ONE! From under the cork tree sold like Four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records!!! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “that’s gooooooooood!” Pete was like “yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “yeah its cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “eh… Cool!” And Pete was like “makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful."

Pete was like “oh my god I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic and I was like “eh, its not bad. Its not a bad dick. Let’s be real.” Panic! At the disco made rolling stone one issue before fall out boy. And fall out boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like “yo fuck you guys!” They were like “YO! Panic has the cover of rolling stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! Were gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like “oh shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like “WHAT THE FUCK!” oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. Its like fuck you!

So from under the cork tree happens, we fuckin have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves its so big! So fall out boy was like, so Patrick’s like “yo were gonna name this record from under the cork tree and from infinity in high.” Pete was like “yo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.” Fall out boy was like “yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like, “i need time for my music! YAAAAAAHHHH!” And joes like “yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands.”

And they were like, “alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. we gotta fuckin’ come back dude. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. Its gonna be fuckin dope. Its gonna go fuckin sky high. Were gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies. Were gonna call this record… Save Rock And Roll.” So they made alone together, light em up, alone together, phoenix. And everyone’s like “what the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin recorded avril lavigne and pink!” Pete was like “yo, were gonna end up in tour with Panic! At the disco and Twenty pilots.” And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that’s how the fucking story goes.

#ask game #ask and ye shall receive

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ac-art-and-stuff · 1 year ago

Text

It's 2024 so I decided to redesign team LCAF! (I literally started drawing on the 3rd and full hyperfocused on this so hard my arm hurts now)

Starting out with the team's leader, Lillian "Lily Pad" Maria!

She's got new magnetic thigh holsters for her weapons that double as armor! Her side shave has migrated over to the opposite side! She's got piercings now! And I pushed the heart motif as much as I could, with lil heart earrings, heart button, heart kneepads, and heart(ish) toed boots. Also, I made her white waist cape turn sheer with the yellow as the accent rather it being full opaque yellow with white as the accent.

Next we've got Clara Ginger!

She's got an entirely new outfit, and her bag is nowhere to be found! She's got more red in her design to compliment her partner, and she's got some red tint in her glasses now! Plus she's sporting some lip makeup and now she has some sweet lacy gloves, as well as some nice lacy tights! I also took out the brown in her og design since it made the design too busy.

Next it's the partner in question, Adrienne "Enne" Leroux!

The general vibe of her outfit is the same, just a bit more detailed and with gold accents, but I completely redesigned her symbol (to look more like an eye) and her mask! It's now held onto her head by the same logic that holds Adam Taurus's mask and Ilia Amitola's WF mask to their respective faces... ~anime physics~ She's also got some new opera gloves! (also fun fact, when I originally came up with her concept, I didn't realize the author of the original Phantom of the Opera, Gaston Leroux, had the surname Leroux. It was a fun coincidence that I decided to keep ^.^)

And last but certainly the one I redesigned first, Frosk "Fro" Alaguna!

He got a full rehaul of his outfit design (to reflect his 'party animal' personality a bit better) with an open wetsuit top, some sweet wetsuit bottoms, and some sick goggles. Plus, I wanted to be able to show off his top scars (cause they're cool and I subscribe to the idea of stylized top scars are dope as hell). And I gave him a tattoo. For funsies. He's also got a sling thing that I saw on Menagerie extras and I wanted to make it obvious that he's from there since his gills can be overlooked... plus I've decided that it holds his weapons :D

#my art #rwby oc #more about my oc #digital art #leaf team #lcaf #rwby oc team #my ocs my beloved #my oc art #art dump #AC art and stuff

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nysocboy · 10 months ago

Text

Glamorous: Be as femme as you wanna be, especially when you are surrounded by mega-hunks

Glamorous, on Netflix: Make-up obsessed Marco gets a dream job at a glamour firm, starts a journey of self-discovery, and falls in love with a man. The episode descriptions use "he/him" pronouns, but Marco is played by -- and based on the experiences of -- trans actress Miss Benny. So maybe he'll be coming out as trans at some point.

Scene 1: Marco awakens. He's a boy with a femme girl hairstyle and a room decorated with pictures of high-heel shoes. Asking himself if "the struggle to be a grown-up is realer than real," he puts on his frilly pink gown and heads for the makeup table -- well, more like a makeup warehouse, puts on his face, and starts talking to his internet followers: "I am a makeup artist and beauty industry professional who works with all the major brands, including Glamorous by Madolyn." Looks like he's already pretty self-discovered.

But in real life, he has a part-time job behind the make-up counter at a department store, he has minimal followers, and his Mom, whom he claims "helps with my content," could not be less interested. But does that stop the dynamo make-up artist? Nope. "We're going places!"

Scene 2: Mom has called in some favors and enrolled Marco in a paralegal training program. Do you need to call in favors for that? Can't anyone enroll? "But Mom, I already have a job!" "It doesn't pay anything. You're 22 years old: start taking your life seriously, and start paying me rent!" Settle, dude. You know how many famous make-up artists there are out there?

Scene 3: At the mall, Marco sees his idol, Madolyn, looking at a display of her own products. She explains that she's doing important research in her customers' buying habits. It's not just about the make-up, dude. "I'm a customer!" "Ok, let's see what you got. Give me a makeover."

Marco goes to work, while criticizing his idol's make-up! Smooth move, dude. It's not selling. Customers consider it safe and banal. They want fantasy. "When I do my makeup in the morning, I want magic! I want to feel like a star!"

Madolyn is mesmerized. No one has criticized her for 20 years. "You have some important things to say about makeup. Want a job?"

Scene 4: Marco going to work in a glass-and-steel skyscraper. At least he gets to wear his high heels and a totally femme hairstyle. The first assistant, Venetia, introduces him to Madolyn's son Chad (Zayne Phillips, top photo), who is in a meeting while running on a treadmill....with his shirt off....um, his muscles gleaming....um...does he need a personal assistant?

"Is this the superstar Mom hired from the mall?" Chad asks. Superstar? I thought he was just opinionated. Then he criticized Marco for wearing heels: "I'm gay, but I'm not...gay." The word you're looking for is "femme," as in the Grindr ads: "No femmes, no fats."

Next on the tour: Product Design, and another gay guy, Ben (Michael Hsu Rosen, left), who trips all over his tongue while trying ineptly to flirt. "He gets like this when he's excited," his coworker explains. "I don't get like anything when I'm excited, which I'm not," he stammers. "But I could be." Dude, are you talking about your penis?

Next up: Social Media Influencer Alyssa, and her assistant Nowhere, a 1960s hippie. "I'm an influencer, too!" Marco exclaims. "Yes, but you just have 1,000 followers, and half of them are bots."

Finally Madolyn's office, with all of her awards, magazine covers, mirrors, and make-up. I'm getting flashbacks to Wilhemina Slater on Ugly Betty. except Madolyn seems much nicer. Marco the Dope criticizes her again: "You seem very...comfortable!" "I beg your pardon? I take chances! I'm cutting-edge!"

Scene 5: Marco telling his followers about his first week, sugar-coating the slapstick mishaps that we see in a montage. The First Assistant Venetia discusses with her friend: "He's flopping like a Katy Perry single." "Good -- then our jobs are secure. If he were doing a good job, we'd have to sabotage him."

Left: Michael Rosen's rear

Scene 6:Madolyn criticizing Super Hunk Chad's ideas for the new line. "This is exactly what we send to Sephora every year. We need to be bold -- take chances."

Chad: "Or we could just sell the company to World-Famous Make-Up Company and be rich(er). You could even stay on as Creative Director, and I could do something besides sell...ugh...makeup." Chad's going to be the Big Bad.

More mega-hunks after the break

Scene 7: Marco has the job of picking up the super-important product prototypes and bringing them to the office for the Big Presentation. He gets into the wrong Uber, and complains to the real passenger, a very muscular Straight Guy (Graham Parkhurst), who takes an Uber to the gym every day, about his various job mishaps. Straight Guy consoles him.

Whoops, he left the very important prototypes in the Uber. There's no way to track them down, since he got in the wrong Uber. Wait -- wouldn't the Uber driver have turned them in at the company office? Madolyn wants to forgive him, but Super-muscular Chad insists on firing him.

Scene 8: Ben, the coworker with the huge crush on Marco, talks to his friend: "Now that he's fired, I could ask him out, but I won't because it would be weird and creepy. But just in case, do you have his number?" This is definitely like Ugly Betty, where every straight guy working in an office full of supermodels fell instantly in love with the "ugly" girl. Well, not Daniel, but they had a "will they or won't they" thing going on for several years.

Meanwhile, Mom tells Marco to fight to get his job back. The Straight Guy probably picked up the prototypes. You know what gym he goes to, and the time of day: go find him!

Left: Straight Guy butt

Scene 9: Pretending to be a rich white guy, Marco buys a gym membership, with the proviso that he can back out if he's dissatisfied. Girl, high heels to the gym? He pretends to work out forever, but Straight Guy never shows up, so he hits the locker room (actually, a lot of semi-private dressing rooms). And there he is, dawdling at the mirror, wearing only a towel!

Straight Guy gazes at Marco like he's a pork chop. "I...um...left something in the Uber yesterday." "I've got something for you right here." He fumbles with his towel. Psych! He's actually heading to his locker to retrieve the prototypes.

"And, by the way, I'm not straight. And here's my number. Bye." He takes off his towel, flashes his butt, and heads for the showers.

Scene 9: Everyone stares as super-fired Marco marches through the office and into Madolyn's meeting to present the prototypes. Chad scoffs, but Madolyn wants to hear his speech: "I'm not perfect. I'm bad at math, the oldest movie I've seen is Titanic, and I don't know who Cher is. But I can learn. I can grow. The question is, can you?" He then criticizes the prototypes as garbage. Madolyn is impressed; he's re-hired If you want him to advise you on make-up, hire him as a consultant, not a gopher.

Chad scoffs. "Curses! Foiled again!"

Left: Nick Fink, who appears in the cast list but is not in this episodeScene 10: His first job: fetching coffee and a Vogue for Madolyn and First Assistant Venetia. Uh-oh, he's sharing an elevator with Ben, the guy with the major crush on him! He fumbles and stutters until Marco takes pity and asks him out. Ben melts in ecstasy, then catches himself: "Um..yeah, I guess that'd be cool. Hit me up."

Cut to First Assistant Venetia running into Chad in the bathroom. Venetia is worried that he'll take her job, and Chad, that he'll tank the company with his newfangled ideas. They come up with a plan to "ruin that twink." The end.

Beefcake: Chad and Parker (Straight Guy), plus a few gym hunks.

LGBTQ Characters: Marco, Chad, Parker, Ben, and -- well, just about everyone.

Femme: No one is bothered in the least by Marco's femme gender presentation. In fact, it appears to be something of a turn-on to the more masculine-presenting guys.

Make-Up: There are a lot of "make-up is the most important thing in the world" manifestos, but we don't actually learn much about make-up. Why is Madolyn's brand outdated? What the heck is a gondola? At least in Ugly Betty, we were told the difference between bad and good fashion.

My Grade: It's rather fun watching a boy be as femme as he wants to be with no kickback, and the hunks competing for his attention are stunning. I'm just worried that the office-politics plotlines will be a bit old-fashioned. A-

#Glamorous #Miss Benny #Zayne Phillips

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pizzaandaliens · 1 year ago

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Renaissance Faire ramblings

Renfaire was SO fun yesterday. I wore my fancy expensive fairy wings that my uncle bought for me last year at the Renaissance festival. My uncle was obsessed with the renfaire. He had terminal cancer and was only given x amount of months to live, so he splurged on all of us to celebrate our last year going together. He passed in March and I miss him a lot. I’ve been feeling pretty emotional going there knowing I’ll never get to go with him again.

But anyway aside from the sad shit…

Yesterday was great. My gf and I got season passes so we’ll be going again multiple times. I did some super glittery and festive makeup. I was a cool ass fairy. Babe had her really fancy armor and she looked dope AF too. People kept stopping us to compliment us. I had multiple people ask if they could take pictures with me/of me. And some renfaire employees saw us and went “a knight AND a fairy?! you folks look so good. You should be an advertisement for the festival” and it made my day lol

I felt so popular lmao I was like “this shit would never happen to me in middle school”

Anyway we tried a lot of yummy foods and watched some fun sword fighting shows and jousting, I got a cute purple ceramic mushroom and another dagger with a green gem on it (now I have blue, red and green gem encrusted daggers 😈)

I’m excited to go back next week!

#personal

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stopfunkinwmyheart · 2 years ago

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so beyond like the normal bullshit I deal with with dirty ass lying women. my own sister is a fat ass dope fiend. she is lazy as fuck, so stupid, so psychotic. just listens to her kid cry. leaves him on the bed and goes into the bathroom with the door shut to do her makeup for literally an hour at a time. she will be sitting next to him just listening to him scream while she scrolls facebook. this bitch will literally just do anything to annoy me. steals shit out of my room just for the chaos. does retarded shit just so I’ll “get mad”, as if it proves that I’m the psycho that she’s playing games with me. this is really the logic of you stupid ass bitches. you all really got me bro, I’m the one who is retarded. meanwhile she’s spoiled as fuck and anything my family doesn’t give her she just goes out and sucks dick for. she has this dude who has been good as shit to her since she was pregnant. I literally thought dude was her baby daddy. she drives him nuts just for fun and he’s always good to her until he’s had enough and leaves. she hides his phone and just does retarded shit. argues about literally anything. there is literally no helping her. you offer advice when she does dumb shit and if you don’t get ignored then she’s screaming. literally just ignores me as much as possible to try and get a rise out of me. u got me, so salty that a retarded fiend won’t say thank you or answer basic questions with human decency. she fuckin got me. and like at the end of the day the only thing I can assume is either my family is hating that I’m not smoking crack or doing dope, or I’m designated babysitter. like it really makes no fucking sense to me at all. I’ve been asking for normal ass help that literally every single person in my whole family has gotten, for 10+ years. I’m the fucking retard because I’m not smoking crack. like that’s deadass how they treat me. my mom is a bipolar crackhead and if I ask literally anything at all, like “do u know when x..” “did u talk to x...” “RERERERE THE DISHES” meanwhile our tub has been clogged for like 2 fucking weeks. you need to pull our door extra hard to open and slam it to close it. the toilet overflows every few days. I would bet my life right now that my sister clogged the tub and broke the door. she also broke a 44~ inch tv that my mom bought just months earlier. just for the chaos, because she’s a girlfiend. literally for the first year or more that we lived here I did do dishes and was the only one taking the trash out. after a while why the fuck am I going to keep doing what you ask of me when you don’t do one thing that I ask of you. my mom will work all day for like 7 dollars an hour at a place that she’s close to the dope set, then come home like 4 hours after she gets off. when she gets home the maintenance guys are gone already, tough luck, guess we’re beat on anything getting done around here. I better sprinkle comet all over, wipe the counter, and sweep the floor. then I’ll bitch like nobody is doing anything. fuck the tub, the toilet, the door. I swear to god her logic is like “look im doin shit ur not” “forget that I smoke the rent money and you can’t take a shower without using a bucket to drain the tub” “forget that I’m sleeping, out of my mind high, or not here 24/7, look at me sprinkle this comet”

like yeah. after literally over 10 years of me doing everything for all the fiends I’m not doing anything until I get some help. if that somehow turned me into the crackhead then so be it. I’ve literally tried breaking it down too. like listen. why the fuck am I going to keep mopping the floor every day if it gets us nowhere. we need our priorities in order. I can help you a lot more if I had a license. “u did the dishes 15 times”

#just to be clear I have literally been asking for a ride to the dmv since I was 17 #I'm not asking for a used car like literally everyone else got #or the money that all the fiends siphoned #just drop me off

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msookyspooky · 3 years ago

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Terrible Trilogy

Part 11

wordcount: 5,730

"Hey, hold on a minute; I've got a bone to pick with you." Randy remarked pulling away from the hug as you were still processing the fact he claimed he didn't call you. He gave you an accusing look. "I've been trying to call you for two damn days. Your parents are worried sick!"

You closed your eyes and cursed under your breath once you realized. You completely forgot to call them the last few days and with everything that had happened; it was the last thing on your mind.

What were you supposed to say to your folks? 'Sorry, I've been keeping peace among two psychotic serial killers...Yeah, the ones that tried to kill me twice. We're trying to locate another killer that knows our identities...Oh, I got into my first high speed chase! It was like an action movie! I almost died! Anyways, love you and tell Cherri and Kitty I miss them!'

You opened your eyes with a cringe with Randy's hands still on your shoulders.

Randy raised a brow at you. "They said you dropped off Cherri two days ago and claimed you were coming to see me. I had to lie and say 'Oh yeah, totally'...But you haven't answered anyone for days, YN! I called your house and then your cell phone. What the fuck is the point of a phone you have with you everywhere you go if you're not gonna answer it?"

"Oh, shit!....I'm so sorry, my phones been dead."

"...But you claimed I called you this morning?"

"Yes! After a night of charging it. I just got the newer Nokia model, still trying to get used to it and I forgot."

His brows turned up as he stared at you with concern. "But you told your parents you were seeing me two days ago?...It doesn't take two days to get from your place to here. I just got here two days ago and definitely didn't tell you yet."

You cringed, feeling flushed and a nervous sweat on the nape of your neck. Trying to come up with a story in your head on the spot.

Randy tilted his head at you. "YN...What's going on? Tell me."

You scoffed with a nervous chuckle. "Nothing is going on! I just wanted to take a scenic route and my phone was dead and when it wasn't I had no reception... That's all!"

"...By yourself?"

You felt yourself getting defensive. "Yeah, by myself. After everything I've gone through, I think I can handle a flat tire or some random weirdo while traveling."

"YN...You haven't left your cabin in years and you're telling me you just got up and decided to go missing for a few days? Alone? And now you're claiming I called you this morning when I didn't?" He had a down right out fearful look on his face. "Are you...Are you using?"

"What?"

"Ya know; pills, coke, dope. Drugs, YN." He hissed, you saw him looking at your eyes. "I just saw Darcy in makeup with eyes the size of saucer plates and Fred in special effects taking pills like their candy. So don't lie to me; I'll know."

You scrunched your face with a bewildered laugh as he stepped away from you a bit. "No Ray, I'm not on drugs."

He stared at you. "I hate to drag our Woodsboro big bro into this but...Dewey said you uh...You were smoking weed in school-"

You rolled your eyes with a bark of laughter. "Oh my God, I told him that was a bullshit story I used because I was being held hostage by Billy. Context!"

His eyes widened. "...What?"

You quieted your voice to tell him. "Yeah, he didn't tell you? They broke in, tried to kill me, I told them I was a part of the plan when I wasn't, gained their trust by getting rid of Dewey then called Dewey back when they left to hatch out the plan to take them down the following night...We know how that went."

Randy blinked repeatedly. "It's been 5 years and I'm just hearing about this now...Because?-"

"Because it's Dewey. Love him, but he tells little details that don't matter while leaving out major ones."

"Uhh, you could have told me!"

You gave him a dumbfounded stare. "Ray...You and I didn't talk for a whole week after your hospital visit and you cut me off at the memorial. And at Windsor you didn't want to talk to me about it and even now; you don't like to talk about it!...When the hell would I have told you that tiny freaking detail?"

He cringed with a guilty expression. "Okay, fair enough." He shook his head with a scoff. "Okay, fine! If you're not on drugs then what the fuck is going on with you?!"

"Nothing!"

"Then start making sense!"

"I...I um-"

You felt his blue eyes boring into you. You put on your shades as a bit of security while acting like it was the afternoon sun and not him staring straight at you for an answer you didn't have.

You shrugged. "I...I just had to get away."

"From what?" He quietly asked. "You are away. You live on a mountainside in the middle of nowhere. You're gonna be the witch living in the woods kids warn their friends about soon enough."

You gave him a dirty look. "...AWAY away, Randy. I just…"

It hit you. You quickly got out your phone. Load and behold, in your caller ID was multiple missed calls from Randy, your parents, even one from Dewey...But the one from this morning was an unknown number.

"What are you doing?"

"Wait a minute-"

You scanned and saw Stu's phone call a few nights ago. You rolled your lips, saddened you couldn't use that as an excuse for a killer call without linking it to Stu.

"YN! I'm talking to you-"

You looked back up at him and snapped your phone shut. "Listen, I'm sorry. I see you did call me. It's been weird and I swear I'll tell you...Later. How long has it been since we hung out? Years. Out in public at least...Can me, you and Dewey meet up later? I'll tell you in private away from everything and everyone. "

He looked dissatisfied but nodded. "Okay fine, let's go in and-"

You gave a sheepish grin. "Um, I kind of got banned. John Milton doesn't like me."

"Ooooh...That's right, you sued him."

"I mean, I guess so. I sued Stab. The studio producer is more important than the director, right?"

Randy nodded with a smirk and tsk of his tongue. "Oh yeah. If the director is the author of a book, the studio producer is the publisher...And you were one of the first to sue him and win. You majorly pissed in his cheerios."

"Really?"

"Yeah, there's um...Stories about Milton I heard. Not the full story, just that he has a lot of enemies." He mumbled. "Do you need me to drive you or something?"

"No thanks. I have my own car, Ray. It's how I got here." You smiled as Randy eyed you.

"YN, I just...You've been a hermit for 3 years."

"More like 2 in a half...And I still go out for groceries and necessities."

"Yeah, only for that. You've been attacked in the past and everyone knows who you are by name... This is a lot." He gestured to the bustling people and golf carts of tour guides and Stab advertising everywhere. "I'm worried about you. I would have never asked you to be here in general, let alone after Cotton."

"I thought you said Cotton's death wasn't related to us?"

"Well, maybe but you never know."

"So, I'm right-"

"NO. But I'm just being cautious." He sighed and stared a moment. "...I just know that I just got here and security is relentless. Everyone is on edge and even detectives are scouting the area. I didn't realize they were taking it this seriously till I got here."

"I promise I'll answer my phone from now on and we can all talk later. I'm leaving, I think...You're right, it's a little much-" You were cut off as you narrowly dodged a guy rushing in a mask. Your heart stopped a moment until you realized it was a random guy when he took it off.

"Yeah, that's for the best." Randy gave, giving you an understanding smile as he also looked uneasy himself. "I'm mostly over it. The mask doesn't trigger me; Mrs. Loomis was a blur when she was stabbing me...But closed doors? FUCK NO. I refuse to go near cars or closed doors, even on set."

"I don't blame you." You gave him a smile. "They did warn us as kids about creepy white vans."

"Yeah, but they didn't tell us a knife wielding maniac was in them!"

"Horror movie rules! Duh!"

"I followed the rules, dweeb!...Except uh…-"

"Getting away from the group?" You gave.

"Yeah, yeah. Broad daylight in public, who knew? If that tells us anything; no one is completely safe."

He pointed at you as he walked backwards. "Anyways, I expect a damn good answer tonight. You're paying my dinner-"

"For what?"

He laughed. "You owe compensation for worrying about your ass." He yelped when he walked into someone before apologizing with a sheepish grin.

You laughed once you realized he was fine. "How about you watch where you're walking, Seth?"

He faltered but saved himself with a come back. "And have you checking me out as I leave? I don't think so." He grinned at you as you lowered your shades to show him you were rolling your eyes.

"In your dreams...Besides, you'd rather a girl check out the front?" You mocked as he jokingly covered himself with his hands.

"Not on my watch, at least buy me dinner before you treat me like a piece of meat…Drive safe, Mistress. And I'll see you at dinner tonight."

You blushed as people looked at him and you.

"Shut up and cut it out, you fucking doofus!" You hissed as he kept walking. Covering your face and praying people knew he was joking.

He shrugged with a smirk as he pretended he didn't hear you before walking normally. You sighed heavily as he got a ways away and waved at you.

"I'm gonna hit him one day. Idiot." You mumbled to yourself with a small smirk as you started walking back to where you hoped Billy and Stu still were.

You turned just to run right into them. They scared you as you released a sharp gasp.

"GOD!...What the hell?! Where were you?!"

"Behind the giant killer." Stu pointed to a tourist ghostface you could take pictures with. Knife high up in the air and a mask. You shivered, not seeing it until now.

You stared a moment in discomfort. "....I agree with Billy. I can't wait to leave." You mumbled, eyes on that awful giant 8 foot tall figurine that was your nightmare fuel.

Billy kept watching Randy leave. "I feel like I'm in a Twilight Zone. You know, the episode where everyone finds the pretty girl ugly and the rest look like pigs? Something like that...What the fuck-" He muttered with a bewildered expression. "I need to go back to my boring town. Soon. Where things make sense."

Stu gave you an outraged look. "What the hell was that?!"

"What?"

Stu flung his arm out in exasperation. "That! Mistress? Checking out his junk? Gripping onto his new beefed up arms every chance you got." He glared at you.

Billy smirked at him. "What's wrong, Stu? Jealous your girl has a guy on the side?"

"Oh, you're not?! The guy you made fun of has a job teen you would have killed for on a horror movie set, has muscles now, he has that new hair-"

"You checking him out or what?" Billy quipped.

"Man, I'm not checking him out, I don't swing that way! I just got eyes. Come on! He is hanging all over a girl you were willing to kill for in High School...And you're not a little threatened by that? In denial, man. You're more jealous than I am; you're just deflecting."

"Denial is becoming a common thing around here." You whispered to yourself as they argued.

"I am not, you fucking lunatic. I could care less about YN or who she's with. And Meek is like a tech guy on here. That's the bottom of the barrel for a horror movie job."

You gave them both a disgusted look. "You're both screwed up in the head. He's a friend! I told you, we joke. It grosses both of us out so we do it to embarrass each other. Why do you think it's so over the top? Because we're kidding." You glared at Billy. "And I'm no one's 'girl' and I'm not fucking him or anyone in this general phascinaty. Hint, hint: Including Stu; no matter what smoke he's blowing up your ass."

You walked away and Stu followed, ranting behind you. "Oh, you're so grossed out with your hands on his chest and his arms wrapped around you!? Please! Guys aren't that touchy or nice unless they want in your pants! Chicks aren't joking with guys either unless she sees him as an opportunity for a relationship, money, or bragging rights to bring back home or to show up her female friends!"

You shook your head. "I REALLY wish you took a feminist class at Windsor. Just to pass the time. One Women's Study sit in... And would you stop being so dramatic and making a scene?" You scolded and lowered your voice, adjusting your shades as you walked.

"I'm not making a scene! Just a little pissed your buddies with a guy that's clearly into you and you're too naive to see it! Oh, but I'm the bad guy for flirting with you but you have no problem doing it with Ray!"

"Because Ray doesn't have an ulterior motive!"

"God, you're so naive." Stu huffed out.

You added as you walked. "Oh you're right! I forgot! I'm a stupid female that gets giggly at every guy that flirts with me. I just instantly fall in love and spread my legs the second a guy wants me…" You glared daggers at him and flipped him off. "Get real, Stu. I know it's hard to comprehend I'm a person with boundaries; but I am. If someone wants me, the only way they'll get me is if I want them back. Bad news for you, huh?"

Stu fumbled with a scrunched face as Billy raised his brows in mild amusement at you both arguing; him excluded for a change.

You turned to him to stop walking. "Listen, Stu. I don't have to explain myself to anyone. And if you do something to Randy out of jealousy-"

Billy cut you off. "Good idea. If something happens to Meeks, we know it's Stu doing all this and we can kill him and be on our way."

Stu rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm not doing anything."

"Then stop being suspicious! Nothing screams 'I did it' than jealousy in a horror movie." You informed.

Billy rolled his head to crack his neck. "This has been fun but I'm going to go to that hotdog booth down there-" He pointed a block away that a bunch of tourists were at. "While you both blow hot air."

"Hey, get me...Or not...Jerk." You muttered as he was already walking away and not hearing you.

Stu blocked your view of him, folding his arms and looking down at you with a pouting glare. You sighed, already sick of his bullshit.

"Look, Sweetcheeks. I'm not saying you're with him but maybe you want to be or he is weaseling-"

"St- DENNIS." You corrected as a bunch of people walked by. "Now is not the time. Besides, even if I was...What's it matter? I'm not with you! If I wanted to get wwiitthhh-"

You went point but it landed on an old man with a walker, then a guy with hotdog sauce on him before finally your finger pointed to a younger guy you didn't even find attractive.

" - That guy. I could. You can't kill him either. Cops and security are everywhere."

"That's what you think." He muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. I'm just saying don't tell me what to do. I got that enough in Highschool from Casey, Billy, Tatum and anyone else. I don't need you added to the list."

You huffed in outrage. "Then stop telling ME what to do and who to do it with!"

"...Are you doing it? Have you? You never did answer whether you were a virgin or not-"

"You're fucking disgusting."

You went to walk away and Stu outstretched his hands. "Movie rules, YN! That's why I'm asking! Because if you're not then I have to watch your back even more!"

"Oh, how chivalrous of you. You know what?-" You went to argue back when you both were interrupted by a guy almost as tall as Stu with glasses and a Hawaiian shirt. You recognized him as the director.

"YN...Dennis; am I interrupting?"

"Not at all, Mr. Bridger." You gave with a smile, clearing your throat and trying to calm yourself.

"Please, call me Roman. I came to give you both...These." He handed you and Stu both passes. "Dennis naturally needs one for landing the part of Stu. But I figured you should have one too. The more Woodsboro survivors who REALLY give the atmosphere I'm looking for, the better."

You both took them. You looked taken aback. "Yeah but...Mr. Milton-"

"What Milton doesn't know won't hurt him. He only stops by for an emergency or to discuss budget cuts and hopefully we don't have either one in the future." He smiled at you both before looking at Stu. "...You really do resemble him."

You visibly saw Stu stiffen. "Yeah mate, uh...What a coincidence!"

You gave him a weird look at the accent he gave himself.

Roman stared a moment longer with a nod and smile. "Sure is! Nose is off, hair of course, no piercings...Honestly I feel like the other guy auditioning looked even more like Stu Macher but you really sold it. I mean, if I didn't know any better. I'd say you were nuts!" He laughed.

Stu gave a forced laugh too. "Yyeeaahh, how funny would that be? That's our secret. Shh." He joked.

Roman's laughter died down with a grin. "Oh trust me, I just see talent. Most of these actors and actresses have to snort snow or get drunk just to play these parts. So...Do you do that? Because if you do, just let me know and I'll skip the drug test that day. It's guidelines but if we went by those; half these movies wouldn't even get made."

Stu shook his head. "Nah, I quit that mess back in 97, mate."

"Well, don't judge me too harshly. I used to direct music videos...You know these wannabe rockers and pop stars. Most can't finish a video without it."

You interjected. "Well, no reason here. Dennis is sober."

"Oh, you both know each other?"

You paled a little. "U-Uh, yeah. Yeah, we met a few years back after a uh...Interview I had with Diane Sawyer. He was an actor interested in Stab-"

"Oh, the one with Cotton Weary...Shame. How are you holding up?"

"Okay, thank you. We weren't that close. Just an interview." You forced an airy chuckle. "Still a tragedy of course."

Roman glanced up, down the street, and then the giant killer. "Well, I'll leave you both to it. We have a shooting at 8 tomorrow and Dennis can rehearse...Do you both want a picture with the giant Ghostface?"

"The what?"

"Ghostface. That's the name Stab gave the killer when he's in costume."

You quickly shook your head as Stu went to say 'yes'. "No, thank you. Uh, I'm not fond of that thing."

Roman cringed and smacked his forehead. "Oh God, sorry." He started walking backwards as he talked. "Not thinking. Survivor of the last two Ghostface killings. Duh….Anyways, talk to you tomorrow Dennis. Don't be late. And hopefully YN can tag along if she wants." He waved goodbye as he left.

You turned to Stu and hissed. "What is with the bargain bin Steve Irwin accent?"

"It's Australian. I thought it would make me less suspicious."

"Well, you sound ridiculous and more suspicious!...What time is it?"

Stu checked his watch. "3:12?"

"Crap, I need to find a hotel and get ready."

"For what??" Stu demanded right when Billy came back with a hotdog in his hand.

"I'm having dinner with Randy-"

Stu wouldn't let you finish with a mocking smirk. "Of course you are."

"- And Dewey." You deadpanned.

Stu lost the smirk. "Oh."

"Yeah, 'Oh.'" You mocked with a scoff.

"Well, what the hell are we supposed to do?" Stu asked.

"I don't know, look around! I'm going to see if Dewey or Randy have noticed anything weird on set and you two can look. It's what you're good at. Stalking and snooping."

Billy gave you a look. "Deal. And remember; if you mention-"

"I know; you both don't exist! You think I'm telling my best friend and a man that's like an older brother to me about my involvement with you two? As if."

"Then what are you gonna tell them?" Billy gave an accusing stare.

"I...I don't know yet. But it won't involve both of you."

——————————————————–—

You got ready as Stu and Billy watched you go from the bathroom to the suitcase and back multiple times.

"God, you women are exhausting watching get ready. Just pick something and go!" Billy said as he lounged on the bed with his knife.

Stu smirked at him from the other bed. "You definitely didn't grow up with sisters. Leslie took 2 hours to get ready everytime she went out...3 hours if I took her makeup or hair brush just to screw around with her."

Billy huffed. "So you were always a pain in the ass? Shocker...Still, 2 hours? Why? All they do is fluff their hair."

"You're a fine one to talk with your hair gel routine you had in High School! Sidney told me all about it!" You yelled from the bathroom as Billy bristled and Stu snorted with a chuckle.

You continued. "And as if guys don't take forever in the bathroom everyday. Women like to dress up and look nice here and there. You all take 30 minutes everyday for no reason."

"That's different. We're choking the chicken." Stu gave with a shrug.

"Ew. You know what? How about we all don't talk while I get out of here? I like that idea. Complete silence."

"Cool with me. You both are annoying the fuck out of me already." Billy mumbled as he twisted his knife lightly back and forth on the wood of the headboard.

Stu crinkled his nose. "What did we do to you this time?"

Billy abruptly stopped playing with the knife and glared at Stu. "...Really?...You got on a movie about us murdering our classmates while we're on the run…And you don't think I'm not a little pissed off?" Billy sat up and pointed to the bathroom. "SHE is frolicking with Deputy Dipshit and Meek Geek that will notice us in a heartbeat if they see us!" He pointed at Stu with his knife. "YOU, you fucking dingleberry, you're working on a movie where they're at! Here I am a sitting duck simultaneously on a damn wild goose chase for a killer that knows my biggest secret and is bullshitting us. Worst of all; I can't do a fucking thing about it but wait here twiddling my thumbs like an idiot!" He yelled as Stu cringed.

"I told you, it's a way for me to get inside info!"

"Yeah? How are you gonna avoid Dewey or Randy on Set?"

" I'll figure it out! Chill out, man. You're gonna have a stroke at this rate."

Billy glared at him, narrowing his eyes as you came out in a flowy dress shirt and lace up boot cut jeans. You wished Tatum lived long enough; she would loved them coming in style. You put on Sidney's locket as both of them eyed you up and down.

"...Damn Sweetcheeks." Stu gave. "You look nice...Too nice for a boring dinner with them."

"It's a dinner with friends, Stu. Go find some so you can have your own night out..Have one with Billy."

"Hell no."

"Well you're each other's company anyway. So..." You gave. "If I were you, Stu...I'd stay at least 6 ft from Billy."

Billy smirked to himself and gave you a subtle but devious look as Stu huffed.

"I can handle him with one arm... I just don't understand why don't we ever go out for dinner like that? As friends. 3 years and we've never went out together." He mocked.

"I had brunch with you. It's not a competition and this is really pushing me out of my comfort zone but I got to… You know, You could be a part of this dinner. Catching up with old friends, reminiscing with Randy, Laughing with Dewey...If you hadn't done what you did."

Stu threw up his hands. "Wwoow...Nice. Really great. Let's bring up what I can't change AGAIN."

You shrugged. "I'm just saying! I can't help but think some of this makes you angry that you can't say hi to the childhood friends you had."

"It's not." He pouted. "Besides, I'm supposed to just stay here with Oscar the Grouch while you go have fun?"

"Yep. Maybe go look near Cotton's place? Or on Set? Ask around?...Something! Try not to kill each other." You smiled as you went to the door.

"No promises." Billy gave.

Stu scoffed and looked offended at the entire situation as he caught Billy glaring at him.

"...What?"

"Now that we're finally alone...How about you start dropping the knight in shining armor act?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, man."

"Don't play dumb with me, Stu. I know how you are...You got the hots for YN again and you're doing ALL of this to get closer to her. The nice manipulation act, getting yourself in the spotlight to use as blackmail against her or some shit, using scare tactics until you finally kill off anything or anyone near her and she HAS to choose you."

Stu got up from the bed. "You're crazy, man. I'm not doing this for the hundredth fucking time!"

Billy got up as well, knife in hand. "No one knows my whereabouts. NO ONE. The only one that had a guess was you."

"YN knew where you were; not me!"

" How convenient that you get on a movie that Cotton was involved with and got his shit stabbed the hell out of?"

"Yeah, most likely a set up that I'm still taking full advantage of. Let the killer come after me! I can stab him in the dick and be on my way to the top at the same time."

Billy continued to glare at him. "...You looked at my letter. You SAW the diary page. So what, Stu? When we were in her house while Neil was captive, did you sneak into her room and take it when I was busy or what?"

Stu's jaw clenched as he glared at him. "...I didn't take shit."

"Yeah, I bet you didn't."

"You were her boyfriend with nothing to lose now! If anyone looks guilty, it's you pal."

Billy eyed him. "...You're insecure about Randy. I could care less about the kid."

"Yeah right-"

Billy cut him off with a yell. "- IF... He goes missing or comes up dead next; I'm coming after you. That's all the proof I need that it's you doing this."

Stu smirked. "Yeah, that's not happening."

"Why not?"

"Because I'M NOT DOING THIS. God! It's like a freaking brick wall! Nice deflecting the heat off you, asshole."

"You were itching to kill James. So was I when I cared about her."

"Cared. Past tense." Stu gave a mocking, gleeful chuckle. "Yeah right."

Billy narrowed his eyes. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means you're full of shit." Stu spat. "I see the way you're looking at her...You still wanna bang her from this way to next Tuesday."

Billy huffed with his lip raised. "You are fucking obsessed, Stu. Seriously."

"And you're deflecting." Stu gave. "You still give a shit about her...Well, too bad! I'm not sharing her this time and definitely not with you."

"You're not sharing shit! You think every guy that looks at her for a second is stepping on your territory...I've seen you like this before, you were like this with me back in Woodsboro and then YN towards the end of it all... I can handle your ass; she can't. So back off."

Stu tilted his head and challenged Billy, walking up to him. "For what? So, you can make your move?"

"So you don't end up doing something stupid that will get us both caught, moron." Billy hissed, brushing past Stu and clipping his shoulder on Stu's arm.

Stu sucked in air through his nostrils and whipped around to confront Billy. "I wasn't obsessed with you!"

"You were. Anybody that you get attached to, you get obsessed. Friends, chicks, idols."

"You were none of that. You were using me, dick! You think I'm stupid?! Well jokes on you, I was using you too. I was using you and your stupid revenge plan to finally kill because it was FUN. Had nothing to do with you! I was gonna drag you in the trial if we got caught...Peer pressure."

Billy sighed heavily. "...We are NOT bringing this up. It's in the past. I left EVERYONE behind and everything to move on and I plan on doing it again as soon as this shit is done."

"So, what? You regret it?"

Billy paused for a moment, looking at the wall in thought. "...No, I just want to move on." He turned to Stu. "I am not a pussy. Okay? I will kill anyone but I also don't wanna get caught...YOU on the other hand don't give a shit."

"I give a shit!"

"Well you're doing a lot dumb shit so I just assumed you're one of those serial killers that want to get caught."

"I'm not! I haven't killed, in like, 4 months."

"Wow, new record." Billy sarcastically monotoned.

Stu glared. "...I... AM NOT... THE KILLER! I want to get into Hollywood and hopefully get YN to see reason and-"

"Kill anyone that gets in your way of that or her."

"No!" Stu turned away, arms folded. "...I'm not killing anyone, don't you get it? Not even any guy barking up her tree."

Billy looked at him with a raised brow. "Why? Never stopped you before. "

"Cause I've changed! Okay, I apologized to her for what we did."

Billy chuckled. "You what? She bought that?"

"I wasn't lying! Yeah, I don't regret killing but...What we did in the theater was too much. She almost cried talking to me about it, man. We really fucked her up... You took it too far!" He yelled, turning his anger towards Billy.

Billy tilted his head. "Oh...I did?...Tell me, Stu. Did you tell her it was your idea? I wanted to just kill her. YOU'RE the one that wanted to have fun with her prior just to make sure she wasn't a virgin."

Stu frowned. " But as if you weren't into it!"

"I was." Billy simply gave. "But I was just as happy to get my revenge and move on. Your exact words were 'I'll make sure she isn't a virgin. Just to cross off her cherry as the thing saving her. It's the rules'... right?"

"I...I don't remember that." Stu rolled his lips and looked away.

"...But you did and you know you did. You were willing to do anything to get her with your knife or your dick. Stop trying to bullshit me."

"AND YOU WEREN'T?! You were the one that said this was all a movie! You're the one that wanted her!"

Billy smacked a nearby table. "Stop turning this around! I did but that doesn't change the fact you did too! People don't change that quickly so stop acting like you're the boy next door now."

"Well, I did! I care about her, I hated her then. That's the difference. I don't want her hating me! So, I'm not going to hurt her or stab her dumb friends no matter what. I want her back in my life the way we were!...I love her, man!"

"Give me a FUCKING break. You said the same thing in Woodsboro till she pissed you off. Then you choked her, cold cocked her in the face and tried to stab her…"

"You loved her too and shot her!"

Billy's eyes widened and a rage filled yell escaped him. "No! Don't put words into my mouth, dickweed! I never said I loved her! I said I had a crush on her but not enough to spare slicing her up as a traitor."

He shook his head and growled out. "Don't try to bullshit me or twist shit, Stu. I may not give a shit about her but we need her right now. You touch her and I'll kill you. Meeks or her come up dead; I know it's you." Billy quietly gave, with an intense stare. "Not because I care or I want her but because that's proof it's you and want to have a loose end finally cut off and end this insanity."

Stu and Billy stared each other down long and hard. Stu finally gave in a serious tone. "Same to you. Try to get revenge on her or touch her like you did this morning and I'll wear your rat looking face as a new mask; Texas Chainsaw Massacre style."

Billy huffed as Stu grabbed his jacket, flashing his hunting knife on purpose. "So, we looking for clues or what, Scoob?"

#scream #stu macher #billy loomis #scream fanfiction #my writing #yn fanfic #my stories #she her yn #fanfic #ghostface #scream 3 #terrible trilogy

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melon-arts · 2 years ago

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Here's J0nny's updated refsheet, ft. The Murdy Gurdy! After the Bar Incident, he starts really considering who he is outside of his namesake, and changes his look a bit. He also carries around the gear he pulled out in the fight and keeps it like a fucked up good luck charm. I'm actually making his denim jacket irl because its dope. More about J0nny below!

Post-reboot J0nny's really about self discovery, finding out what and who he is outside of his prescribed identity. Finding what parts he wants to keep and what he's going to discard and grow from. He also cries under the skin. It'll well up in the corner of his eyes, then just sink below it, making his "makeup" run. He's also got blue insides! His blood is the right color, but oily almost.

His eyes are synthetic and mostly mechanical, and light up/glow when hes excited. He's got a mechanical heart obviously, trying to imitate Jonny-real's mechanism, but its rudimentary at best and isn't the source of his immortality. He has chunks of metal machinery embedded in his brain that shorted out during his reboot, slowing his thoughts down and letting him think around his in-coded Jonny d'Ville identity.

His real "mechanism", if you can call it that, is his vocal chords. They're made of tape recorder ribbons contained in a magnet-proof case in his throat. These tape ribbons contain recording fragments of Mechanisms shows- specifically, Jonny's parts in those shows. His creator (who he immediately killed when he was let out of his grow-tube) survived a show and got weirdly obsessed with the idea of traveling around with the Mechanisms and being buddies with them. His "mechanism" makes it so that he sounds almost just like Jonny-proper, aside from crackling noises and occasional popping, which get much worse after the reboot and as time goes on. Eventually, the tapes probably will sound so worn and warped that he wouldn't be recognizable by voice, but that's for another day. Mostly, he sounds just a little electronic, just slightly.

J0nny's creator also planned on creating mock-ups of all the Mechanisms, but Jonny was really his focus- J0nny was just the very first prototype and an unfinished specimen. He was going to be killed after he ran a few tests, but J0nny killed him before he could even start, and took off.

Due to his coding that ran in the machinery in his brain, he was compelled to tell stories in song, perform shittier versions of all their albums, and collect his own "crew"- This comes in the form of random quasi-immortals he finds through his travels, most of who leave in relatively short time. The exception would be @crocutaclan 's OC BBot, or Bee for short, who becomes J0nny's consistent right hand man. Bee is actually the one who reboot's J0nny after he attempts to self terminate after the bar fight incident, and the act of rebooting him fries something in the circuits that lets him think around the prescribed identity and grow.

J0nny also has trouble differentiating between organic and non-organic beings. Because of his place in-between, the difference is really blurry to him. He insisted for millennia that Bee was "just an organic guy with weird meat!" before he eventually relented after the reboot.

He can play harmonica shittily, but is really good on the Hurdy Gurdy. He found his in a space goodwill and customized it with paint and a knife on the crank. It's his most prized possession. He's also much more skilled with a knife than a gun, but he does carry both. His go-to knife is chipped on one tooth from the bar fight.

J0nny is really attached to beings he considers his crew, and would do anything for them. That being said, he also would torment them if he thinks it would be a good bit. J0nny also is a criminal, and loves killing, generally. He's got the same moral hard-limits as Jonny-proper, plus a few more because I don't like writing child torment lol.

I wanna make it clear that J0nny isn't Jonny- that's the whole point. I've had some issues with that in the past, people assuming that he's just "Jonny but better/worse lol" but he's his own guy. That's his whole character arc, realizing who and what he is and what that means. I've put a lot of my own heart into his guy and he means the world to me. Please be kind.

Also his tongue is blue! <3

#The Mechanisms oc #The Mechanisms #mechs oc #mechsona #my ocs #oc posting #I also RP him if anyones interested! <3

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aboutissei · 4 years ago

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uhm lemme know if i did this incorrectly

could i request hq boys reacting to their fem!s/o coming home late at night drunk (if youre uncomfy writing this then plz ignore) i dont mind which characters are in it but if you could, include iwaizumi, tsukishima, and oikawa! thank you in advance and sorry if this wasn’t descriptive enough <3

synopsis: coming home late at night, drunk to the haikyuu boys

genre: fluff/suggestive & slight angst if you look close enough

reader type: female reader

pairings: hajime iwaizumi, kei tsukishima, tooru oikawa & keiji akaashi

not proofread —

a/n: hi love! you did perfect, i hope this fits yer’ standards & thank you sm for being my first ask<33

HAJIME IWAIZUMI

‘ hajime would be one of the worried types because as much as he doesn’t show it, he gets insecure about the thought of you finding love in another man because he wasn’t good enough. with that said, iwaizumi trusts you and just hopes your safe.

‘ when he hears the door click, he’s quick to jump on his feet to bound towards you.

the click of the door was all hajime needed for him to quickly make his way to the entryway of your shared home. “princess, where have you been? it’s late and i was starting to get worried-“ he began before looking up at your disheveled state. his head tilted slightly as you dropped your heels by the door and began wobbling over to him. you almost fell but hajime was quick to catch you in his strong arms, he always was. “y/n, are you drunk.” his pout quickly broke into a half-smirk, half smile as he glanced down at you drooping in his arms. “my coworker *hic* invited me for a drink and i got carried away *hic*,” you mumbled as you snuggled deeper into hajime’s chest. inhaling the scent of the hoodie that was draped over his built body. “next time, let me know so i can come to get you.” he scolded as he placed a feathery kiss on your hairline. the light snores coming from your body were all iwa needed, he immediately hooked his muscular arms under your thighs and carried you to the bathroom so he could quickly wash your face and help you get changed. you shivered at the cool contact of the bathroom counter meeting your thighs. you whined quietly before iwaizumi shushed you, he began taking out your makeup wipes and wiping the slightly smudged makeup from your face. “i’ll always take care of you, love.” he mumbled as he added some moisturizer to your now cleaned face.

KEI TSUKISHIMA

‘ whew my sweet boy, he would be one of the types to laugh at your drunken endeavors. although he is worried about why you aren’t home at this hour, he can only assume your safe.

‘ he of course takes care of you but nothing wrong with a little teasing while doing it ;)

tsukishima was laid out on the couch of your shared apartment, patiently waiting for you to come through the front door. although, he wouldn’t dare to say it. he was beginning to get restless without you being there to thread your fingers through his hair and shower him in your abundance of love and affection. as soon as he heard the fumble of keys in the door, he was quick to swivel his head around to look at the entryway. the sight of you standing there, slightly disheveled and foggy eyed completely gave it away. not that you were trying to hide the fact that you were drunk, you just knew you weren’t going to hear the end of this. “keiii.” you whined as you hobbled through the entryway and into the living room where he was seated, trying to hold back the giggles captured in his throat. “welcome home love.” he coughed out a chuckle before glancing at the sight of you throwing yourself on him, limbs splayed against the couch and your head resting directly against his chest. “y/n..are you drunk?” tsukki asked, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “i went..out for drinks with my boss but i missed *hic* you.” you mumbled as you nuzzled your ear deeper into his chest. “did you drive home?” he questioned, ready to scold you about the dangers of drunk driving. “no...my coworker dropped me off.” you answered, the alcohol still hazing your mind. tsukishima sighed as you laid there snuggled into his chest, his cheeks couldn’t help but tinge red as he glanced at your now limp body. your now even breaths were kei’s signal to get you cleaned up and he did just that. removing your clothes as he put you in one of his t-shirts which pooled around your waist and quickly wiping your face with a makeup wipe before laying you into your shared bed. he paused to playfully scoff at the way you would whine when he unlatched your arms from his waist while he was changing your clothes. “you're so stupid. goodnight love.” he mumbled as he slipped in beside you in the bed, a soft kiss placed on your nose causing you to smile softly in your sleep.

TOORU OIKAWA

‘ oikawa was straight out miserable, you coming home late was worrying him but he was also so restless without your touch

‘ poor iwaizumi had to endure an hour long facetime call about how worried and sad oikawa was because he missed his angelic girlfriend.

as soon as oikawa heard your keys jingle in the door, he was quick to jump off the bed and is in a full-on sprint to the door. “ANGEL! YOUR BACK.” he shouted as he threw his arms around you, the speed at which he wrapped himself around you was astounding. all you could do was giggle as the alcohol flowing through your veins and the visions of this 6 ft man wrapped around your body like a koala was hilarious. oikawa quickly unlatched himself before placing a quick kiss on your lips, your lips always felt familiar to him but the bitter taste of alcohol was a big difference. “angel, did you drive home drunk?” oikawa scolded as he placed a hand on his hip, looking down at you with a frown. “no tooru, i *hic* got a lyft.” you mumbled as you try to walk deeper into the apartment, which you failed at. you tripped over an uneven floorboard which made oikawa quickly react, he wrapped his arms around your waist before you could fall. “alright you big dope, let’s get you to bed.” he giggled as he picked you up, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist. he handed you your clothes and sat in the bathroom while you did your night routine, just watching and making sure you didn’t hurt yourself and helping you when he saw fit. when you were ready for bed, oikawa slipped into the spot beside you and pulled you straight into his chest, to which you tangled your legs with his, a silent i missed you. he kissed your forehead before gently resting his head on top of yours. “i missed you too angel.” he mumbled, knowing you missed him from the way you clung to him in your sleep. the next morning he was loud and forgot about your hangover but was quick to get you some pain meds and some breakfast.

KEIJI AKAASHI

‘ akaashi was out-right worried, he had sent you multiple texts and even tried calling once or twice. okay maybe three times

‘ it was nearing midnight and akaashi could only hope you were just working late or out with coworkers.

akaashi quitely paced around in the kitchen while he waited for the water for his tea to be ready when he heard the door creak open. he quickly made his way to the entryway. silence between the two of you when he pulls you in for a hug and a sweet kiss. he rested his forehead against yours before releasing you from his grip. “did i *hic* worry you, i didn’t mean to worry you, keiji.” you began ranting as your eyes began to water. he quickly wrapped his arms around your waist before smiling at you softly. “it’s alright love, just let me know you’ll be home late next time.” his smile reasssuring as he watched the tears slip out of your eyes. “i-i’m sorry, i should’ve let you know.” the tears began free flowing as you tried to sniff them back. the sight was enough to make akaashi distressed, he knew you were obviously drunk from the kiss he had given you earlier but he had no idea you were an emotional drunk. “baby, it’s okay. come drink some tea & then we can head to bed okay? i’m not mad, i promise.” akaashi placed a hand in the small of your back, lightly directing you to the kitchen where the kettle went off. as you sat down, he placed a warm cup of tea in front of you and placed another peck to your forehead. “you’re so good *hic* to me, keiji. i don’t deserve you.” you broke out into a sob as you placed your teacup down in place for rapidly rubbbing at your eyes. “you deserve the world, my love. now stop all this crying okay? you’re gonna hurt yourself.” he mumbled as he pulled your hands away from your face, your puffy eyes making him pout before he kissed away the onslaught of tears that now stained your face. by the time you finished your tea, you had worn yourself out from all the crying. akaashi carefully picked your sleeping body up from the table, careful not to wake you as he gently placed you on your shared bed. he tried to get you changed in the best way without waking you up but all he could manage was wiggling on one of his hoodies onto you. he frowned at the distress splayed on your sleeping face, probably from the crying he thought to himself. he kissed the corners of your lips before sliding into bed next to you. “goodnight y/n.” he blushed slightly before turning off the bedside lamp and snuggling up next to you.

a/n: and we are done with my very first request! once again, i hope this fit your standards and i did your request justice. also, later toda i will be posting my navi posts (rules, dni & byf all included)

as always, likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed and appreciated <3

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