#and it looks like he got some dope makeup

[monsieuroverlord]

Some tiny appearances of Akihiro's Hellfire Gala Outfit in today's Hellfire Gala 2023

(written by Gerry Duggan, art by Kris Anka and Russell Dauterman)

(edit to add: missed a good one)

[daddiel-ish]

So while i think some fic over do it i love law being a bit self conscious about thier appearance especially with what amber lead did to them. Tends to get in there head a bit about it especially when it comes to luffy cause while theyd rather die than admit it they do care what luffy thinks of them

Meanwhile luffy is physically vibrating with how attracted they are to law and only law

Even more so while laws pregnant

I love this take! But I think the consequences of the Amber Lead pestered them more when they were a teen. I imagine Teen Law adding layers of clothes to hide some whiter spots, even using makeup to hide the ones on his face, tattoos helped with the ones on their hands they didn't want to receive questions they didn't want to answer. Growing up let them come to a pact with this, they thought he added something to their being a pirate, like a shadow of mystery, so they stopped hiding them, not that they started to show them proudly, but they didn't even try to hide them anymore. Even tho they noticed some people, maybe the ones who still remember the Amber Lead, looked at them, and those gazes always made them uncomfortable--honestly, they didn't care what everyone thought. Those people were going to call the Marines on them? Good luck.

When they and Luffy started to date, or whatever their thing was, Law started to get again self-conscious about their white spots and this brought them to take a bit of a distance from Luffy. Even tho Straw-Hat never stopped tracing first their tattoos and then the spots always telling them how they looked dope and he wanted them to! I think Law at first didn't believe those words, he spent the majority of his life being called weird or monster, when people recognized what illness they came from, so how Straw-Hate was finding them "Dope"?

Oh yes! When they got pregnant Luffy became insufferable, in the sense that he wasn't able to stop touching Law. Every occasion was a good one to touch their shoulder, their arm, their hand, their baby bump. Luffy didn't want to stop tracing Law's tattoos and spots. It was his favorite way to spend his free time sometimes. When they are alone I imagine Luffy talking with their unborn child like: "Torao has these spots! They're so cool! Like- they make them look like a leopard and leopards are so cool!" And maybe hearing Luffy talking like that about his appearance can make Law loves his body more. Even tho they would never be able to love it more than Luffy.

Don't know if this was what you were looking for anon, but I got carried away (again), if you write a fic with this theme I would love to read it!!!

EDIT: just a random thought- Maybe Luffy asked Law to paint some white spots on him with makeup so Law didn't feel alone and weird anymore, cause they could've been weird (Luffy uses this word just cause Law uses it, but he doesn't think they're weird) together

[asmileforyourscrapbooks]

It's the summer of 2001.

Joe meets Patrick and he’s like, “Yo! i know about music.” and Patrick’s like, “Yo! I know more about music~!” “THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!111 ...Do you wanna start a band?” and Patrick’s like, “Yeah, that’s cool” and then he’s like, “Yo! this is a bookstore, it’s not a music store!” And then they met at Patrick’s house. so, Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin’ reason. and Pete’s there for some reason. they start playing music together and they’re like, “oh, let’s play some fucking covers from some other bands!” there was like Green Day, and fucking Misfits, and fuckin Ramones. Pete said to Joe, “Yo! We gotta change this shit up!” — HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — *sips beer* — “Yo, we played all these bands, let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy” and so Pete and Patrick were like, “Yo, that’s dope. but we need a fucking drummer!” because Patrick’s playing drums and he’s a singer! Patrick’s like, “Yo! I got a soul voice!” and they’re like, “wait! how do you have a soul voice?” and he’s like, “Yo, watch this – YEAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAEEEEEEEHEEEEEYEEEEHEEEEHHH” and they’re like, “ Oh my God, that sounds like soul!” so they put it in a song, it was like, “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTTTT” — THHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH — and then they’re like, “Yo, that’s fuckin perfect. this is fall out boy” — *drinks beer* —

And they made records like ‘Evening out with your ex-girlfriend’ Evening out with your ex-girlfriend everybody loves it — “It’s called evening out with your girlfriend” — With your ex-girlfriend? It’s called evening out with your ex-girlfriend. It’s called eating out your girlfriend and it’s real and it doesn’t matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like, “yooo, what the fuuuuuck!!?? YO THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKIN DOOOPE” so they made a record and it was called ‘Take This to Your Grave’. They made it without a drummer! and they had like three, four drummers come in; the four drummers ahead come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto — tnghhhh — the fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they’re like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley.” “Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, fuckin record it.” And he did it and he killed it and he was like, “BEGEDEGEDUGUDLULULUHHHLAHLAH BSHHH” Killin the skins! Tappin the skins! Tappin the rim! Playing the shit! Killin these bitches! Wrappin it out! — THAHAHA YOU’RE GETTING A FUCKING TATTOO RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OON!!?? —

“We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on” they were like, “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is which is not fucking hard -” — tnghhh — “- we will sign you guys” he was like, “yo! we got this record that’s fuckin dope dude!” it’s called Take This To Your Grave. It’s called From Under The Cork Tree, it’s gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick was like, “I gotta keep it real. I gotta keep it artistic. These are - These are three songs that are gonna make the album it’s called — *burp* — this is called Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Twenty Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar, We’re Goin Down. And they made this record that was fuckin dope and they fucking hit on the charts like ONE, TWO, THREE! THREE, TWO, ONE! THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEEENNN! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records… ten million records… FIFTEEN MILLION RECORDS!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick was like, “THAT’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD”

Pete was like, “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like, “Yeah, that’s cool man whatever I don’t give a shit” and then Andy was like, “Eh. Cool!” and Pete was like, “Makeup is fuckin great for a guy because it makes a guy look beautiful which a lot of times a guy is not beautiful and i wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful”

— SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. “I’m good so far” “Do you wanna spit one more time?” “Yeah, I do.” SPIT. SPIT. SPIT. NGHHH SHUT THE FUCK! HAHAHA OH FUCK ALRIGHT ALRIGHT —

Pete was like, “Oh my god! I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” and then I saw the dick pic and I was like, “Eh, it’s not bad! It’s not a bad dick. Let’s be real.”

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so PISSED! they were like, “yo, fuck you guys!” They’re like, “YO PANIC! HAS THE FUCKING COVER OF ROLLING STONE!? YO FUCK THESE DUDES WE’RE GONNA FUCKING GO MILES ABOVE! WE’RE GONNA HIT EVERY FUCKING CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!” but they didn’t! because they missed a second of time! Apparently, they were like, “Oh shit we got every continent!” When they didn’t actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!?!?” OOOOH YOU DIDN’T FUCKIN MAKE THE CONTINENT! IT’S LIKE FUCK YOU!

So From Under The Cork Tree happens we fuckin have three four years of awesomeness like people were coming on themselves cuz it’s so big.

Alright, so Fall Out Boy was like —

So Patrick was like, “Yo we’re gonna name this record From ooo - From Under The Cork Tree and from Inninity from EHEHAHA From Infinity on High.

Pete was like, "Yo, Folie A Deux means the theatric of two” — “The Madness of Two” “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” —

Fall Out Boy was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning Pete was like, “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like “I need time for my music - OOOOUUNGHHH” and Joe’s like, “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin art dude i gotta find some fuckin muh-metal” and andy’s like, “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands :D” and they’re like, “Alright, this break’s from like three years long two years long three years long three and a half?” “we gotta fuckin come back man we gotta come back STRONG”

— YOU TOOK MY BEER AWAY WHAT THE FUCK “you poured it all over yourself” —

“We gotta make this shit legit, it’s gonna be fuckin dope it’s gonna go fuckin sky high! we’re gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies!” “skieees” “we’re gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll”

So they made Alone Together, Light Em Up, Alone Together, The Phoenix. Everyone was like, “What the fuuuck?? you were going to the sky you fucking recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” — “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ON MY SHIRT DID I PEE ON MYSELF?” “You poured beer all over yourself” “oh god” —

Pete was like, “Yo, we’re gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots” TAHAHA *burp. spit.*

And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. and that’s just how the fuckin story goes.

[kalinihta]

𝐂. 𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 — 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋

a/n: my first post on this account (and fiction writing in months)! i’m not that great of a writer so corrections are appreciated but please don’t be rude to me or anyone on my blog. i hope you enjoy this:)

_________________________________________________

plot: reader is a jazz singer in the wastelands and she sings about her husband of a lifetime.

trope: cooper howard x reader, the ghoul x reader

fandom: fallout

_________________________________________________

even after the bombs, the living still needed entertainment. good thing i was still alive. i owned a small little jazz club downtown of filly, many people came to see me — ghouls, raiders, you name it. i made my living off bottlecaps from the entry fee and tips. 20 bottle caps for entry and i usually got tips above 30. i used my caps to buy meds, meds for my husband.

my husband’s a ghoul, somehow im not. i was already examining a vault when the bombs had dropped. coop had a birthday party gig, i felt i shouldve begged him to come with me to the vault, but i hadn’t. i should’ve trusted my instincts that day. nonetheless i still love him, hes still a divine being in my eyes.

currently, im backstage getting ready for a performance. cooper was out hunting a bounty, said he might be back in a couple days. i sighed as i combed my hair, i held my gaze in the mirror. if something were to happen to him i dont know what i’d do.

standing up, i examined myself in the mirror.

i think im ready..

as i walked out of the room i gave dogmeat i quick pet before walking out on stage. my heels clicked on the medium sized stage, gazes locked on my body, and commotion erupted. cat calls and claps echoed through the small club. one i had reached the mic i turned to my piano player and nodded. he smiled and began to play.

You're no good for me

Baby, you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want…

i paused for a moment, a small blanket of whistles covered my ears. i took a breath and closed my eyes.

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

Baby, put on heart shaped sunglasses

'Cause we gonna take a ride

I'm not gonna listen to what the past says

I've been waiting up all night

i heard the old doors of the club open, but i didnt pay any attention and kept singing. silent foot steps echoed the club as i kept my eyes closed. i heard them pause for a moment before sitting on one of the many squeaky chairs.

Hurt me and tell me you're mine

I don't know why but I like it

Scary? My God, you're divine

Gimme them, gimme them dope and diamonds

whispers and mumbling always came up during this song. they speculated my lover physically hurt me, when it was never physically. he always had a way with my heart, and no matter how much bad news he told me i always was there for him. it’s not like he abused me, oh no, never. it was just sad to see him go through so much that it even hurt me.

as i sang along, i slowly opened my eyes to gaze around the room. many men’s stares and some women smiling and talking. as my eyes roamed i spotted a familiar cowboy. my eyes widened slightly seeing him here, he said he wouldn’t be back for days… i pushed away that thought and lightly smiled at him, holding his gaze. the song ended, i thanked everyone for being there and went off the stage and left the band to play. claps and whistles erupted as i left the stage.

as i cleaned off my makeup, i felt a hand on my shoulder. i looked up in the mirror and smiled.

“you know, that makeup made you awfully pretty, darlin’.”

i giggled. i looked up at him and held the hand that was on my shoulder.

“you did pick it out, remember? 200 years ago…”

i spoke softly. his hard gaze softened lightly, brushing my hair with his hand. he pressed a kiss to my head and held me for a moment.

“you said you wouldn’t be back for days, what happened?”

“well, sweetheart, the guy just so happened to be traveling on his way to filly. speaking of filly…”

he reached in his pocket, rummaging for a moment. he pulled out a beautiful ring that looked oh so familiar. our engagement ring.

he held it out between his two fingers, his gaze all over his face. i sighed deeply, tears building up. he softly smiled, wiping the tears that did fall.

“i just so happened to find our engagement rings. the rings that had been stolen from us, oh so, long ago, darlin’.”

“thank you…”

i breathed out. i was so surprised he found them, the same rings that matched our eyes. they were very dear to us, my ring matched his eyes, and his matched mine. i let him slide the ring on my finger, i gazed at it before jumping to give him a hug. he stood still for a moment, slowly moving to encase me in his grasp.

“do you find me scary, sweetheart?”

“scary? my god, you’re divine…”

i pulled back slightly to look at him. my hands held his face. we both leaned in and encased ourselves in a kiss, a soft embrace.

[shininglynxie]

OK, didn't want this to be my first post on this account, but I just really wanted to share my thoughts and analysis of the Grand Festival announcement.

I knew they were going to place the new venue near the Crater - the first place we saw all the way back in 2021, when Splatoon 3 was first announced. It was even teased in the Sizzle season 2024 trailer with the jellyfish walking by this same Crater backdrop with merch of all three idol groups.

The Pearlina plane walked so that the Now or Never Seven bus could run. It's just great to see something like that plane again!

The golden replicas of the animals from all the hub worlds that represent each idol are a great touch, too!

Now, to analyze the idols' new outfits! Their shared theme feels very orderly and gives off bleached coral vibes. I wonder what's up with that. Most of them also seem to reference non-cephalopod sea creatures, but I don't know how intentional that is.

The outfits always have to be matching with these two, and I love it! The cut on their skirts point inwards on Callie's and outwards on Marie's. Callie's gloves reveal the base of her arms, while Marie's gloves reveal the ends of her arms or her hands. Both of them are also wearing urchin-themed head accessories.

The way they animated Pearl and Marina's interlocked hands being pointed right at us. It's like they're yelling at us: Yeah, they're gay, dammit! They've been giving us quite a bunch of great Pearlina content lately, and they just had to give us more.

Anyways, their outfits. I love Pearl's big hat! It fits her vibes very well! There's also an Off the Hook logo on it, which is neat. As some people have pointed out already, this is the first time Pearl's showing off her midriff, which is cool to see!

I absolutely love Marina's outfit ,though. It's gotta be one of my favorites of the Grand Fest idol fits! That bra/top paired with the jewelry, the laced pants with the boots, and all those rings combine to create such an awesome look to me! Also, something else of note is the fact that Marina isn't wearing headphones here and showing off her ears. It's uncommon for her to do that, and she's mostly done that outside of the games, and, I think, this is the first time you can see her ears in-game, which is really cool and showcases her personal growth! (Btw, I love the pose Marina's making in the shot on the second pic! It's so cute!

Deep Cut, my beloveds!

This is probably among the weaker fits Shiver ever had, but it's not bad by any means. Those pant boots are kinda weird, and I don't know how to feel about them. But I do like that top she's wearing! It kinda mimics her headdress, which also looks neat! It kinda reminds me of seaweed, dunno if that was the intention. She's also rocking that Deep Cut logo temp tattoo, which is dope! From afar, it looks really similar to the octopus tattoo Callie had when hypnotized by Octavio. The bangs on her in-game model seem to be pushed away a little bit, so you can see her other eye, which is an interesting detail. The expression she has on the official art feels a tad unusual for Shiver. She always acts so cold and aloof, so it's strange to see such an expression of genuine surprise from her.

Frye's outfit is great, but there isn't much to say about it. The buns she's wearing kinda remind me of sea slugs, I don't know if that's what they were going for, though. The ear tie thing she's wearing is also a nice design touch! It's an accessory that utilizes her long ears in a very creative way! I love the way she's grabbing Shiver's waist in the official art, it's so Frye!

Big Man's fit has got to be my favorite! He's absolutely slaying in that fin-like headdress and those spikes, and with that makeup around his eye! It feels very Kiss-inspired. The patterns on his fins look claw-like now. This is something that kinda makes me wonder how Big Man's outfits work in the first place with the various skin patterns he took on during seasonal splatfests. He also seems to have something wrapped around his tail. The best shot I could catch of it is this screenshot below.

Overall, I think the idols' outfits are cool, but they don't wow me like Pearl and Marina's Chaos vs. Order outfits did.

The performance of their new collab song will be so cool! It's gonna feel like a proper big concert!

Speaking of concerts, I might be seeing things, but some of the choreography we see the idols perform in their usual outfits seem to be from the songs other than each idol group's day 1 and 2 songs. The third Splatoon 3 concert just might be held in-game. Which is a great idea and makes a lot of sense! Since most Splatoon fans probably never had the chance to see the idol concerts live, it only feels fitting to create an immersive concert experience inside the game! It's a lot more interactive than a video recording, and it will ensure that a lot more people can see it compared to the in-person concert. Plus, all the idols are in one place already, so they can easily perform the collab songs too! If that does end up happening, I hope that the performances do use the concert versions of the songs, as they're almost always better than original, in my opinion, plus that way they won't overlap with the songs that play during gameplay.

Almost forgot about the theme. Which is most important to you? Past, Present, or Future? With each idol group representing a team, rather than a Deep Cut member each representing a team. I think this quite a solod theme for the final fest, if a bit predictable. The fact that each idol group picked a team for themselves also makes this like an idol fest in disguise, but I'm not bothered by that. I wonder how this fest's outcome will affect a potential Splatoon 4, though, as there's no one clear way how I can see it affecting the game's development.

All in all, I'm very excited for what Grand Festival will bring! By the time it rolls around, this account will, hopefully, be properly active. I'll absolutely have some art to post for the occasion!

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

in which buggy doesn’t sleep well, missed breakfast food so much in prison, tells tall tales, and schedules a—not a date. a… day to catch up with an old… person. shanks. whatever.

the next part to this story, which is a follow-up to this one, which was itself a second take at—actually, here’s a tag for all of the near miss stories & related talk, go there if you want the context. (i’ve linked to the chronological order sorting of the tag, so you should see the “thinking about near misses in east blue” post first.)

Buggy was still mad at Galdino hours later, when he got fed up with his feet being tripped over in the dark and the rest of him (sitting up in the rigging, sulking hiding just sitting) had gotten cold.  But given the very limited space on the Red Force, it was either bunk with someone or sleep on the deck, and Buggy was not about to do that.  The men—ugh, now Galdino had him doing it!—were way too excited about following Buggy’s every move, he shuddered to think what they might do at night.  Assuming he could even get to sleep with all of them hovering like that.

So if he was bunking with someone, there was really only the one option: the only other guest on this ship who’d treated him like a human being.

But he wasn’t happy about it.

Galdino paid him no mind, using a borrowed mirror to inspect himself as he prepared for bed, applying a thin layer of wax along the edge of his hairline.  When he was done with the mirror, he silently held it up so Buggy could look himself over.  He used pretty long-lasting makeup, the better to survive bloody fistfights and brackish ocean spray—and some of it had even survived the sterilizing baths they dunked you in when you arrived at Impel Down!  Buggy would write to the brand, to tell them to use that fact in their advertising, but that degree of longevity probably wasn’t a huge selling point now that Ivankov and his ilk had escaped the prison.

Anyway, nothing had happened today that could really mess it up.  His face was fine.

…it could use a touch-up, though.  Just to solidify the linework on the crossbones, make the edge of his lip really crisp.  Buggy touched the corner of his lip, considering, and very much against his will recalled how it had felt for someone else to touch that part of his face.

It had been a long time.

Not so long that Shanks’ hand was the first to touch him since Shanks, mind you.  But a long time all the same.

He scowled, and threw himself into bed.  Touching up his makeup—and who, exactly, would he be doing that for?!  That kind of thinking could wait until morning.  When, hopefully, he would have recovered his sanity in full.

As he was drifting off, Buggy heard Galdino roll over and say, softly, “You may think of that guy as some dope you used to sail with, but fact is he’s an Emperor.  One who’s taken an interest in you.  I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“And who asked you to do that?” Buggy muttered into his pillow.

“No one,” Galdino acknowledged.  “But if I’m hitching my wagon to yours—and it sure looks like that’s what’s happening here—I want to make sure we aren’t about to ride off a cliff.”

With that grim visual in his head, Buggy sunk into an uneasy sleep.

The next day dawned warm and bright.  Buggy had thoughtlessly picked a bed that sat under the one small window in the room, right where an early morning sunbeam would shine in his face.  He groaned a protest, but unfortunately, once up he was up.  Leaving Galdino to sleep his fill, he stretched, grumbled, and made himself presentable.

(This did not involve touching up his makeup in any way.)

A handful of Red-Haired Pirates were also up and about, though Buggy couldn’t tell how many were early risers and how many had been on watch overnight.  A few nodded at him with the bleary eyes of hungover men.  Uneasy at the acknowledgement, however small, Buggy ducked into the mess, praying that there would be something hot to eat at this hour.

Prayers were answered in the form of the ever-grinning Lucky Roux, who was setting out large pans of a few types of porridge under warming lamps, with toppings (both savory and sweet) laid out in small bowls.  Buggy opted for oats with some dried fruit and syrup on top, something that would fill him up and leave a sweet aftertaste.  Though he might go back for the rice porridge later if he could get a soft-boiled egg to go with it… oh, eggs.  He’d missed eggs.

There were also two steaming pots of liquid sitting to one side, one a tisane that smelled oddly familiar—after a moment, Buggy remembered the hangover cure Rayleigh had sworn by, and had to bite back a nauseous stab of nostalgia.  He went for the other, not caring what it was so long as it was hot.  It turned out to be awfully bitter, so he stole a bit of the porridge syrup to sweeten it.

Loaded down with food and drink, Buggy set himself up next to the kitchen, facing the rest of the mess.  No one would be able to sneak up on him but Roux, and the day a man that size could—

“Any special requests?”

Biting back a shriek, Buggy spun to see Roux poking his head through a small window between the kitchen and mess.  “I’m no short-order cook,” he said with a grin, “but this early I’m happy to make people what they want, so long as I have the ingredients on hand.”

What Buggy really wanted was a hot dog.  Fuck, he missed bread.  And meat.  But he didn’t want a cheffy take on it, he wanted the greasy sausage and halfway stale bun you got when you bought a hot dog at a boardwalk.  Since that wasn't likely to happen… “Over-easy eggs and toast?  Oh, and ham, or bacon, whatever meat you’ve got.”

“That, I can do.”

Buggy dug into his oats, watching other men slowly creep into the mess in varying states of wakefulness and dress.  The most tired looking came straight to the kitchen, where Roux already had plates waiting—the night watch men, then, being rewarded for that unpleasant duty.  That was smart, Buggy thought, reluctant but firm in his admiration.  If he ever got a really top-tier chef in his crew, that’d be the way to get people to do the worst chores: give them good food after.

“Building Snake says we're making landfall this afternoon?” one of the night watch guys said to another.  Buggy tried to lean in without making it obvious that he was eavesdropping.  “Seriously, that soon?”

“We need to resupply if we're gonna keep housing these guys for much longer,” the other replied, glancing over at a cluster of Whitebeard Pirates around one table, Marco’s distinctive tuft of fiery orange hair poking out of the center.  “We buy goods today, give all of them shore leave so they aren't in the way while we load up tomorrow, and if the winds favor us we offload the clown and his troupe the next day.”

Buggy twitched.  What now?

“Oh, did Rockstar find the Buggy Pirates already?” Roux asked, handing the pair of men their plates.  “When’s he gonna learn he doesn't have to work so hard to impress us?”  The three of them shared a laugh over this overachiever who’d apparently found Buggy’s ship in under a day. (The hell were they doing so close to the Calm Belt?) Leaning down to hand Buggy his requested dish, Roux said, “Only three days from your crew!  That must be a relief, huh?”

Ignoring the startled looks on the night watch pair’s faces as they ran off—yes, Buggy had been here the whole time, so good of you to finally notice—Buggy grabbed the plate and breathed in deeply.  Eggs soft as silk, bacon just the far side of well-done, toast triangles gleaming with butter… god damn, but it was worth being awake at this hour to get quality food.  “It’ll be nice to be home,” he said around a mouthful, “but I’ll miss this.”

Roux burst into big, booming laughter.  “You guys!  Always so appreciative of good food.  I’d expected to rate higher than prison fare, but I’m flattered to hear I’m also better than your usual!”

In the middle of stabbing the yolks of his eggs with a sharp corner of toast , Buggy squinted suspiciously up at Roux.  “What do you mean by ‘you guys?’”

“I mean Roger Pirates, of course!”

Buggy blinked.

“Shanks is always happy to eat whatever, but he can’t hide how much happier he is when I make his favorites.  And that Silvers Rayleigh…” Roux shook his head.

Buggy nearly choked on an egg.  “You’ve met Rayleigh?!”

“Oh sure, about ten years back?  We’d barely been on the Grand Line six months, just hit Sabaody and were debating whether to move forward to the New World or stay in Paradise a little longer, and suddenly Shanks was running off to talk to this old man.  Of course I had to feed him, if just to prove to the guy that I deserved my job.  He really—”  Roux sniffed the air, spun around and yelped, and disappeared back into the kitchen.

So that was how they had Rayleigh’s hangover cure on this ship.  “Sabaody, huh…?”  Buggy wouldn't have thought he’d end up there, with how often world nobles visited the place.  Did Rayleigh have a death wish?  Or was he just old enough at this point to escape notice?  Buggy snorted.  Lucky him.

A storm of feet came thundering from out on the deck, drawing the attention of most of the room—until the mess door flung open to reveal a cluster of men in ragged Impel Down uniforms.  They spotted Buggy and cried out, “Captain Buggy!  There you are!”

This got eye rolls and looks of annoyance all around, which Buggy almost wanted to join in on.  Seriously, did these guys need their hands held on the way to the bathroom too?

“Here I am,” he said dryly, sipping at his drink.  “Don’t you people remember what mealtimes are?  Where else would I be at this hour?”  Ignoring their responses (“Of course!  Captain Buggy’s so smart!” “So logical!”), he edged a little closer to the wall, having a feeling he was about to get crushed.

The men did flock to his side the second they were able—attempting to offer choice bits of food to him, like he didn’t clearly already have something better on his plate—but their devotion was thankfully balanced by respect, and they didn’t sit so close he couldn’t breathe.

They were still totally incapable of keeping their mouths shut, though.

“Captain Buggy, will you tell us of another of your adventures?”

Buggy bit back a grimace as pirates less enamored with him gave his group a dirty look. Yeah, he wouldn’t want to be in tight quarters with them either, if he were hungover and not a Buggy fan. But how could he ignore their request? “Sure! Anything for you guys!”  What stories hadn’t he told yet…?  “Have I told you the story of… how my crew acquired our fiercest member, Richie the Lion?”

“A lion?!”  “No, Captain Buggy!”

“Alright, then.  It all started when my brave crew was exploring a jungle island, years ago…” The actual story of how they’d gotten Richie was nothing special—it was really the story of how he’d met Mohji, a mistreated performer in an East Blue circus where Buggy had hidden out until the first time someone mentioned his nose, at which point he wrecked the place.  But who here would know if he adapted the story of a day he’d spent on a jungle island with Captain Roger and Shanks? (…besides the obvious person, of course.) So he wove a tale of cleverness and might, of Captain Buggy spotting a dangerous beast that had a crying child trapped up in a tree and tricking it into pursuing him instead, only for the lion to be instantly tamed by his sheer power… and of course, Buggy being richly rewarded for the rescue.

“And that’s why we named him Richie,” Buggy concluded.  “After the riches and fortune he brought me that day.”

“How touching!”  “How bold!”  “How amazing!”

How exhausting.  “Now,” Buggy said, mopping up a smear of egg yolk with his last corner of toast, “are you satisfied for the moment, or do you need another—” Glancing up, he nearly choked on his bite.  Shanks was standing in the midst of the men, sipping from a steaming hot mug and watching Buggy with an amused smile on his face.  That fucker definitely remembered being stuck up a tree with a lion clawing at their feet.  “Shanks!  W-what do you want?”

“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” he said, glancing down at the man sitting across the table from Buggy.  It seemed the men had been so captivated by Buggy’s storytelling that they hadn’t noticed Shanks either; now that they had, they quickly moved to accommodate him.  Taking the suddenly empty seat, he set down his mug—Buggy’s nose wrinkled up, it was the hangover tisane—and leaned his chin on his fist.  “If you’re taking requests, how about when we first met Oden?  That’s a good story.”

“I—that—” Like hell Shanks just wanted a story.

Lucky Roux got Buggy’s attention, and held out a plate clearly meant for Shanks; it was the same kind of breakfast he’d favored as a child, down to the diced tomatoes perched atop the eggs—originally a deterrent to keep Buggy from stealing his food, at some point it had become a highlight of the dish for Shanks, the freak.

…maybe he did just want a story.  For all that he was an Emperor now, Shanks didn’t seem to have changed much as a person.  Buggy passed the plate along to Shanks, and tried to relax. “That is a good one.”

Turning to the men watching this exchange wide-eyed, Buggy barked out, “Now, who among you swabs recognizes the name of Kozuki Oden, once heir to the shogunate of Wano?!”  This got a couple of looks of recognition, but mostly confusion—except for, from the far side of the room, a few angry grumbles.  Buggy laughed.  “Don’t tell me the Whitebeards still hold a grudge?  Just because our crews fought for three days, and Oden chose to come with us in the end?”

This garnered a far more impressed reaction from the ex-prisoner crowd, and some narrow-eyed looks from the Whitebeards.  Oh, they definitely still held a grudge.  But Shanks was smiling ever so slightly, and that was enough to make Buggy smirk and say, “Well, feel free to offer corrections if you think I’m telling the story wrong.”

And then he told the most overblown, exaggerated version of events he possibly could.

Some of the Whitebeard Pirates threw out corrections—and insults against Buggy’s memory and honesty—but Buggy gave as good as he got, Shanks occasionally chimed in with falsely innocuous comments like “that’s not how I remember it” to their corrections, and the story was all the better for the pushback.  That was the thing with lying: the larger lie sounded more believable when someone objected to small details, because your audience assumed that everything that hadn’t been corrected must be true.

For all the insults and slander tossed around about dead men, the mood in the room was significantly lighter by the time Buggy finished the story.  Most of the Red-Haired Pirates had left, their duties for the morning calling, but the former prisoners and Whitebeard Pirates lingered to hear Buggy out until the end, with Oden and his family sailing off on the Oro Jackson, Whitebeard’s men calling out fond farewells and complaints at his disloyalty in equal measure.

Even Marco the Phoenix was convinced to speak up at that point, saying, “Pops never forgave Roger for that, yoi,” with a slight, sad smile.

“For stealing Oden?” Buggy snorted a laugh.  “If you wanted him to stick around, you should’ve gone to the last island yourselves!  That man wanted adventure, and we were going on the greatest one imaginable.”

Marco protested—Oden had been like family to Whitebeard, didn’t that mean something?—and with the story complete and the breakfast hour long passed, the crowd began to disperse. (They’d learned yesterday that people who lingered in the mess tended to get roped into dishwashing duty, whether they were crew aboard the Red Force or not.) A couple people still remained: Shanks, who’d spent so much time egging on the Whitebeards that he’d scarcely touched his food; Marco, going back for a third or fourth cup of the not-tisane; and a few especially devoted ex-prisoners, staring starry-eyed at Buggy.

“The last island…” One of them breathed.  “Captain Buggy, what’s it like?”

Buggy blinked.  “Laugh Tale?”  He glanced at Shanks, who was watching him with a perfectly neutral expression, then down at the bitter dregs left in his cup.  What to say? Buggy flushed.  He wouldn’t—couldn’t—lie about this.  “I, uh, I don’t know.”

“What?!”

“We didn’t go,” Shanks said, getting a grateful look from Buggy and surprise from the rest of the room.  “Buggy got sick, and I stayed behind to look after him.”  This won Shanks some undeserved admiration from Buggy’s fans—what a sacrifice he’d made, and for Captain Buggy’s sake!  Yeah, right.

…well.

Well.

What other reason could he have had, to stay behind?

Galdino’s (terrible, awful) words from yesterday popped up in Buggy’s head.  Gah, surely not that!  Surely he hadn’t—not back then.  Surely he didn’t now, for that matter!  Buggy grimaced.  It wasn’t like he could just ask, not around all these people.

Not around them.  But maybe…

“Shanks, I—”

“Listen, Buggy…”

They blinked, dumbfounded.  After a moment’s silence, Shanks gestured for Buggy to go ahead.

Buggy scratched at an itch along his jawline.  It would be nice to be back on the Big Top, where he could get something like a clean shave again.  But before that… if he could just get the question out.  He gritted his teeth.  Why was asking for things so hard?  “Yesterday, you said you’d like to sit down and catch up if you weren’t so busy. If you really meant that… I hear tomorrow’s gonna be a shore day, at least for people who don’t have a real role on your ship, so I was thinking…” Buggy shrugged.  “I dunno.  Maybe we could do that? Can you spare an hour for me?”

“Yeah!”  Shanks grinned, so wide and bright Buggy could hardly bear to look at it.  “Yeah, I’d love that.  But forget an hour, I can give you the whole day.”  When Buggy frowned, puzzled, Shanks explained, “I was about to ask you to spend time with me.”

Buggy laughed under his breath.  “Figures.” All those nerves for nothing!  If he’d just kept his mouth shut a few seconds longer, Shanks would’ve asked, and then Buggy could’ve looked like he was doing him a favor by giving him exactly what Buggy wanted. Oh, well.  Turning to the men hovering behind him, Buggy snapped, “You hear that?!  You boys are gonna have to find something else to do tomorrow, I’m gonna be too busy to hang around telling you stories of my greatness!”

“Yessir, Captain Buggy!” (“Wow!  An elite captain-to-captain meeting!”)

“And if any of you dare to follow or interrupt us, you’ll live to regret it!  Spread the word!”

The men disappeared obediently.  Buggy let himself bask for a moment—god, but it was nice to be listened to.  Even if they did take it to extremes.  And even if they only did it because they thought Buggy was a pirate on Captain Roger’s level, and not just a kid the guy had taken a liking to.  And even if… with a little sigh, Buggy turned back around.  Gathering up his dishes—even if he managed to avoid dishwashing duty today, clearing his place was the least he could do—Buggy glanced up at Shanks and froze at the look on his face.  That fond little smile… heat rushed to Buggy’s cheeks, and he groaned, shoving a hand in Shanks’ face.

“Don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?” Shanks laughed, pushing Buggy’s hand out of the way, still looking at him like…

“Like—” Buggy remembered Galdino’s words and violently shoved the memory down.  He remembered a similar look on Shanks’ face, years ago, and violently shoved that memory down too.  Getting to his feet, he floated his stack of plates through the kitchen window and bolted.  “Just don’t!”

But even as he left, he knew Shanks’ expression hadn’t changed.  He was still looking at Buggy like he liked him.

And Buggy had just agreed to spend the day with him tomorrow.

What had he been thinking?

[sepdet]

[9.11.24] Seth Meyers summarizes Trump's presidency and everything he's done since in an incredible 60 second monologue.

Transcript below.

This monologue is from the end of Late Night with Seth Meyers on 9/11, the day after the Hartus-Trump debate. As Seth Meyers speaks at his desk, an inset video slideshow on the left shows images to match his words, either newspaper headlines or photos or short video clips.

Seth begins:

Donald Trump's entire argument, aside from weird lies about eating dogs and windmills and Hannibal Lecter, boils down to one thing. When he left office, things were awesome.

[Screen changes temporarily to clip of the debate with Trump speaking]: I created one of the greatest economies in the history of our country. We did a phenomenal job with the pandemic. We handed them over a country where the economy and where the stock market was higher than it was before the pandemic came in. Nobody's ever seen anything like it. [End of clip]

Back to Seth:

Ah, yes, I remember the halcyon days of 2020, when the economy was soaring and toilet paper was plentiful, and we weren't all wiping our mail down with Clorox, and filming our TV shows at home without our hair and makeup teams leaving us all looking like ghosts haunting a Dickensian orphanage. [ British accent] "Please help me! I've been trapped here ever since I died from eating spoiled gruel!"

[ Normal voice ] I can't believe I have to remind some people of this, but Donald Trump's presidency did not end well. Just in case you need it, here's a quick refresher. This shouldn't take too long.

Seth: Donald Trump was the first president since Herbert Hoover to oversee a net job loss. Unemployment soared, and the economy shrank by more than 3%. Corporate profits went up while manufacturing jobs declined. Home prices soared by nearly 30%. The national debt rose by nearly $8 trillion. Crime spiked. The number of Americans without health insurance rose by 3 million, and the number of presidents who have humped American flags went from 0 to 1.

He undercut the nation's response to a deadly pandemic that spiraled out of control because he ignored warnings about it, lied about its severity, disbanded agencies that were tasked with preparing for it, promoted sham treatments for it, said we could stop it by injecting disinfectant, and promoted a quack doctor who believes demon sperm is real, insulted servicemembers and feuded with Gold Star families, saluted a North Korean general, got reprimanded by the Army for desecrating Arlington National Cemetery in violation of federal law, and made the Queen of England disappear.

Said he had the best memory in the world, then forgot he said he had the best memory in the world, got laughed at by the United Nations, including the Germans, got impeached for threatening to withhold military aid from Ukraine, and encouraged Russia to interfere in our elections.

He doctored a weather map with a Sharpie to lie about the path of a hurricane, threw paper towels at hurricane victims, called Hannibal Lecter his wonderful man. A chief of staff called him an idiot. His national security adviser called him a dope. A secretary of state called him a moron. He got on a plane with toilet paper stuck to his shoe and didn't know how to close an umbrella.

He took millions from foreign officials, including a possible $10 million bribe from Egypt, brushed dandruff off the shoulder of the president of France. He staged a months-long coup attempt, stoked a violent insurrection, tried to coerce

Republican officials, into overturning the election, claim dead people were voting and Democrats were selling mail ballots, got impeached a second time.

He brought a crazy pillow salesman to the White House, and his lawyer gave a press conference at a landscaping company.

He lost the popular vote twice, got indicted four times, convicted of 34 felony counts, falsified business records to pay hush money to a porn star who said she spanked him in the ass with "Forbes" magazine. He was found guilty of fraud and libel and sexual abuse, possibly farted and definitely fell asleep in court.

Bragged about overturning Roe v. Wade, said he was against a Florida abortion ban, then said he was for the Florida abortion bill. Called the CEO of Apple Tim Apple, called Elon Musk "Leon Musk," said Nikki Haley was the Speaker of the House on January 6th, claimed the price of bacon goes up because the windmills blow, shark attacks are caused by electric boat batteries, again said Hannibal Lecter was dead and real, wonderful, even though he's fake and famously a bad guy, insists he's not weird by saying the word "weird" 11 times in 30 seconds, which is, let's admit it, super weird.

Became the first president -- [photo at this point shows Trump staring straight at the sun without eclipse glasses before the 2017 eclipse]

And, guys, we ran out of time, but there were a bunch more things.

[partygcthered]

okokok i have showered and done a lot of cleaning and unpacking boxes so i am here to share screenshots of updated characters now

here is thorne's updated design:

i found these dope ass piercings that are (likely) supposed to be for barbarians? but look at these tiger piercings? there are bear too. i very nearly made his skin the lightest green as a lil nod to miri but i decided to go with a tone that's very close to the greens, and has a bit of yellow undertones to it.

here is anoria's update, i made her less sort of domineering looking and cold, made her how i feel after over a hundred years as an exclusive consort to cazador and others, she'd look-the hair, the jewels, etc-also this vampire mod has specific vampire skintones which is dope

august also has an update, again, leaning more toward very high class "spoiled" sort of courtesan look for him, and he now has blue eye makeup which is dope, and some cool earrings

garrett got a lil update: some purple eye makeup and purple robes; i like to think much like their tattoo, it's kinda a dekarios thing since purple is sacred to mystra

i didn't update sil cause my baby doesn't need updating he is perfect as he is look at his squishy lil face

okokok dream guardian TIME

pre-vampire astarion

a mystra dream guardian for the dekarios clan

and a miri dream guardian

[foliejpg]

It’s summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “Yo, I know about music.”

And Patrick’s like “Yo, I know more about music.”

"That’s impossible! Do you wanna start a band?”

And Patrick’s like, “…Yeah… That’s cool.”

And then he’s like “Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And they're like “Oh, let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones!

Pete said to Joe, “Yo, we gotta change this shit up! Yo, we’ve played all these bands; let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.”

And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer!

Patrick's like “Yo! I got a soul voice!”

And they're like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice?”

And he’s like “Yo, watch this: Yeah!”

And they’re like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!”

And then they’re like: “Yo, that's fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it.

[Pete corrects Brendon]

It's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend.

[Brendon ignores Pete]

With Your Ex-Girlfriend! It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend!

It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo, what the FUCK! Yo, this is gonna be fuckin’ DOPE!”

So they made a record, and it was called: Take This To Your Grave.

They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in.

The four drummers they had come in were like: Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto… The fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something.

And they were like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This To Your Grave. Fuckin' record it.” And he did it, and he killed it.

He was like, Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh!

Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

[Brendon to Pete]

(You're getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!)

“We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know what the fuck is going on.”

And they were like “Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys."

Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope, dude! It's called Take This To Your Grave.“

Hey, it's gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, it's gonna be fuckin' huge.

And then Patrick’s like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called (burp), this is called: 'Thnks fr th Mmrs,' '20 Dollar Nose Bleed,' and 'Sugar, We're Goin' Down.'

And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like: one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE!

From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records!

Ten million records!

Fifteen million records!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “That's good!”

Pete was like “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!”

Joe was like “Yeah, it's cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “Eh… Cool!”

And Pete was like "Makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful."

(-I'm good so far.

-You wanna spit one more time?

-Yeah, I do.

...Shut the fuck!..)

Pete was like “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!”

And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like “Eh, it's not bad. It's not a bad dick. Let’s be real.”

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed!

They were like “Yo, fuck you guys!”

They were like “Yo! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, fuck these dudes! We're gonna fucking go miles above! We're gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!”

But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time.

Apparently, they were like: “Oh, shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like "What the FUCK?”

Oh, you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. It's like, fuck you!

So From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomeness!

Like people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big!

So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick’s like “Yo, we're gonna name this record From Under The Cork Tree and From Infinity On High.”

Pete was like “Yo, Folie à Deux means the Theatric of Two.”

Fall Out Boy was like “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break bro”

And Patrick’s like, “I need time for my music! Uhhh!”

And Joe's like “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.”

And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands.”

And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long.

Three years long.

Three and a half?

We gotta fuckin’ come back man. We gotta come back strong!

(-You took my beer away, what the fuck?!

-No, you poured it all over yourself!

-Yeah, you poured it on yourself, man.)

We gotta make this shit legit. It's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies.

We're gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll.

So they made "Alone Together", "Light 'Em Up", "Alone Together", "Phoenix".

And everyone’s like “What the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!”

(-What the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on my shirt?

-No, you poured beer all over yourself.

-Oh god...)

Pete was like: “Yo, we're gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.”

(Burp, spit)

And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that is how the fucking story goes.

i can hear this fucking video

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

It’s summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “Yo, I know about music.”

And Patrick’s like “Yo, I know more about music.”

"That’s impossible! Do you wanna start a band?”

And Patrick’s like, “…Yeah… That’s cool.”

And then he’s like “Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And they're like “Oh, let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones!

Pete said to Joe, “Yo, we gotta change this shit up! Yo, we’ve played all these bands; let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.”

And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer!

Patrick's like “Yo! I got a soul voice!”

And they're like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice?”

And he’s like “Yo, watch this: Yeah!”

And they’re like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!”

And then they’re like: “Yo, that's fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it.

[Pete corrects Brendon]

(It's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend.)

[Brendon ignores Pete]

With Your Ex-Girlfriend! It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend!

It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo, what the FUCK! Yo, this is gonna be fuckin’ DOPE!”

So they made a record, and it was called: Take This To Your Grave.

They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in.

The four drummers they had come in were like: Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto… The fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something.

And they were like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This To Your Grave. Fuckin' record it.” And he did it, and he killed it.

He was like, Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh!

Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

[Brendon to Pete]

(You're getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!)

“We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know what the fuck is going on.”

And they were like “Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys."

Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope, dude! It's called Take This To Your Grave.“

Hey, it's gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, it's gonna be fuckin' huge.

And then Patrick’s like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called (burp), this is called: 'Thnks fr th Mmrs,' '20 Dollar Nose Bleed,' and 'Sugar, We're Goin' Down.'

And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like: one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE!

From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records!

Ten million records!

Fifteen million records!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “That's good!”

Pete was like “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!”

Joe was like “Yeah, it's cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “Eh… Cool!”

And Pete was like "Makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful."

(-I'm good so far.

-You wanna spit one more time?

-Yeah, I do.

...Shut the fuck!..)

Pete was like “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!”

And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like “Eh, it's not bad. It's not a bad dick. Let’s be real.”

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed!

They were like “Yo, fuck you guys!”

They were like “Yo! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, fuck these dudes! We're gonna fucking go miles above! We're gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!”

But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time.

Apparently, they were like: “Oh, shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it.

Dude, Pete was like "What the FUCK?”

Oh, you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. It's like, fuck you!

So From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomeness!

Like people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big!

So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick’s like “Yo, we're gonna name this record From Under The Cork Tree and From Infinity On High.”

Pete was like “Yo, Folie à Deux means the Theatric of Two.”

Fall Out Boy was like “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break bro”

And Patrick’s like, “I need time for my music! Uhhh!”

And Joe's like “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.”

And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands.”

And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long.

Three years long.

Three and a half?

We gotta fuckin’ come back man. We gotta come back strong!

(-You took my beer away, what the fuck?!

-No, you poured it all over yourself!

-Yeah, you poured it on yourself, man.)

We gotta make this shit legit. It's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies.

We're gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll.

So they made "Alone Together", "Light 'Em Up", "Alone Together", "Phoenix".

And everyone’s like “What the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!”

(-What the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on my shirt?

-No, you poured beer all over yourself.

-Oh god...)

Pete was like: “Yo, we're gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.”

(Burp, spit)

And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that is how the fucking story goes.

The loading screen is frozen I …

h uh ?

[wednesdaythesecond]

5

6

16

18

5: Do you take drugs?

nah, i'm edge

6: Age you get mistaken for

strangely, 15 and 24 exactly are the ones i get the most

16: I’ll love you if

you listen to me explain the plots of fanfics i swear i'll get around to writing one day

18: Most traumatic experience

It’s summer of 2001...

Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “yo, I know about music” and Patrick’s like “yo, I know more about music” “that’s impossible. Do you wanna start a band?” And Patrick’s like “…yeah… that’s cool.” And then he’s like “ yo, this is a book store it's not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there, for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And there like “ oh let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones! Pete said to Joe “yo we gotta change this shit up! Yo we’ve played all these bands let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! And he’s like “yo! I got a soul voice!” And there like “wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he’s like “yo watch this! YEeeeeEeeeeEeeaaaAAAH!” and they’re like “oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!?!!!?!”

And then they’re like “yo, this is fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening out with your ex-girlfriend. its called evening out with your ex girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesent matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo what the Fuuuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin’ dooooope!” So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from toto… The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, “yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin record it.” And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

“We should get signed, to fueled by ramen. Cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on.” And they were like “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin hard. We will sign you guys.’ Pete was like ” yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope dude!! Its called, take this to your grave.“ Hey, its gonna be called from under the cork tree, its gonna be fuckin huge. And then Patrick’s like "I gotta keep it real,I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… This is called Thanks for the memories, 20 dollar nosebleed, and Sugar were going down..” And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!!! TEN TO ONE! From under the cork tree sold like Four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records!!! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “that’s gooooooooood!” Pete was like “yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “yeah its cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “eh… Cool!” And Pete was like “makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful."

Pete was like “oh my god I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic and I was like “eh, its not bad. Its not a bad dick. Let’s be real.” Panic! At the disco made rolling stone one issue before fall out boy. And fall out boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like “yo fuck you guys!” They were like “YO! Panic has the cover of rolling stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! Were gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like “oh shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like “WHAT THE FUCK!” oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. Its like fuck you!

So from under the cork tree happens, we fuckin have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves its so big! So fall out boy was like, so Patrick’s like “yo were gonna name this record from under the cork tree and from infinity in high.” Pete was like “yo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.” Fall out boy was like “yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like, “i need time for my music! YAAAAAAHHHH!” And joes like “yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands.”

And they were like, “alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. we gotta fuckin’ come back dude. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. Its gonna be fuckin dope. Its gonna go fuckin sky high. Were gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies. Were gonna call this record… Save Rock And Roll.” So they made alone together, light em up, alone together, phoenix. And everyone’s like “what the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin recorded avril lavigne and pink!” Pete was like “yo, were gonna end up in tour with Panic! At the disco and Twenty pilots.” And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that’s how the fucking story goes.

[ac-art-and-stuff]

It's 2024 so I decided to redesign team LCAF! (I literally started drawing on the 3rd and full hyperfocused on this so hard my arm hurts now)

Starting out with the team's leader, Lillian "Lily Pad" Maria!

She's got new magnetic thigh holsters for her weapons that double as armor! Her side shave has migrated over to the opposite side! She's got piercings now! And I pushed the heart motif as much as I could, with lil heart earrings, heart button, heart kneepads, and heart(ish) toed boots. Also, I made her white waist cape turn sheer with the yellow as the accent rather it being full opaque yellow with white as the accent.

Next we've got Clara Ginger!

She's got an entirely new outfit, and her bag is nowhere to be found! She's got more red in her design to compliment her partner, and she's got some red tint in her glasses now! Plus she's sporting some lip makeup and now she has some sweet lacy gloves, as well as some nice lacy tights! I also took out the brown in her og design since it made the design too busy.

Next it's the partner in question, Adrienne "Enne" Leroux!

The general vibe of her outfit is the same, just a bit more detailed and with gold accents, but I completely redesigned her symbol (to look more like an eye) and her mask! It's now held onto her head by the same logic that holds Adam Taurus's mask and Ilia Amitola's WF mask to their respective faces... ~anime physics~ She's also got some new opera gloves! (also fun fact, when I originally came up with her concept, I didn't realize the author of the original Phantom of the Opera, Gaston Leroux, had the surname Leroux. It was a fun coincidence that I decided to keep ^.^)

And last but certainly the one I redesigned first, Frosk "Fro" Alaguna!

He got a full rehaul of his outfit design (to reflect his 'party animal' personality a bit better) with an open wetsuit top, some sweet wetsuit bottoms, and some sick goggles. Plus, I wanted to be able to show off his top scars (cause they're cool and I subscribe to the idea of stylized top scars are dope as hell). And I gave him a tattoo. For funsies. He's also got a sling thing that I saw on Menagerie extras and I wanted to make it obvious that he's from there since his gills can be overlooked... plus I've decided that it holds his weapons :D

[nysocboy]

Glamorous: Be as femme as you wanna be, especially when you are surrounded by mega-hunks

Glamorous, on Netflix: Make-up obsessed Marco gets a dream job at a glamour firm, starts a journey of self-discovery, and falls in love with a man. The episode descriptions use "he/him" pronouns, but Marco is played by  -- and based on the experiences of -- trans actress Miss Benny.  So maybe he'll be coming out as trans at some point.

Scene 1: Marco awakens.  He's a boy with a femme girl hairstyle and a room decorated with pictures of high-heel shoes.  Asking himself if "the struggle to be a grown-up is realer than real," he puts on his frilly pink gown and heads for the makeup table -- well, more like a makeup warehouse, puts on his face, and starts talking to his internet followers: "I am a makeup artist and beauty industry professional who works with all the major brands, including Glamorous by Madolyn."  Looks like he's already pretty self-discovered.

But in real life, he has a part-time job behind the make-up counter at a department store, he has minimal followers, and his Mom, whom he claims "helps with my content," could not be less interested. But does that stop the dynamo make-up artist?  Nope. "We're going places!"

Scene 2: Mom has called in some favors and enrolled Marco in a paralegal training program.  Do you need to call in favors for that?  Can't anyone enroll? "But Mom, I already have a job!"  "It doesn't pay anything.  You're 22 years old: start taking your life seriously, and start paying me rent!"   Settle, dude.  You know how many famous make-up artists there are out there?  

Scene 3: At the mall, Marco sees his idol, Madolyn, looking at a display of her own products. She explains that she's doing important research in her customers' buying habits.  It's not just about the make-up, dude.  "I'm a customer!"  "Ok, let's see what you got.  Give me a makeover."  

Marco goes to work, while criticizing his idol's make-up! Smooth move, dude. It's not selling.  Customers consider it safe and banal.  They want fantasy.  "When I do my makeup in the morning, I want magic!  I want to feel like a star!"  

Madolyn is mesmerized.  No one has criticized her for 20 years. "You have some important things to say about makeup.  Want a job?" 

Scene 4:  Marco going to work in a glass-and-steel skyscraper.  At least he gets to wear his high heels and a totally femme hairstyle.  The first assistant, Venetia, introduces him to Madolyn's son Chad (Zayne Phillips, top photo), who is in a meeting while running on a treadmill....with his shirt off....um, his muscles gleaming....um...does he need a personal assistant?  

"Is this the superstar Mom hired from the mall?" Chad asks. Superstar?  I thought he was just opinionated.  Then he criticized Marco for wearing heels: "I'm gay, but I'm not...gay."  The word you're looking for is "femme," as in the Grindr ads: "No femmes, no fats."

Next on the tour: Product Design, and another gay guy, Ben (Michael Hsu Rosen, left), who trips all over his tongue while trying ineptly to flirt.  "He gets like this when he's excited," his coworker explains.  "I don't get like anything when I'm excited, which I'm not," he stammers.  "But I could be."  Dude, are you talking about your penis?

Next up: Social Media Influencer Alyssa, and her assistant Nowhere, a 1960s hippie.  "I'm an influencer, too!" Marco exclaims.  "Yes, but you just have 1,000 followers, and half of them are bots."

Finally Madolyn's office, with all of her awards, magazine covers, mirrors, and make-up.  I'm getting flashbacks to Wilhemina Slater on Ugly Betty. except Madolyn seems much nicer.  Marco the Dope criticizes her again: "You seem very...comfortable!"  "I beg your pardon?  I take chances!  I'm cutting-edge!"

Scene 5: Marco telling his followers about his first week, sugar-coating the slapstick mishaps that we see in a montage.  The First Assistant Venetia discusses with her friend: "He's flopping like a Katy Perry single."  "Good -- then our jobs are secure. If he were doing a good job, we'd have to sabotage him."

Left: Michael Rosen's rear

Scene 6:Madolyn criticizing Super Hunk Chad's ideas for the new line.  "This is exactly what we send to Sephora every year.  We need to be bold -- take chances." 

Chad: "Or we could just sell the company to World-Famous Make-Up Company and be rich(er).  You could even stay on as Creative Director, and I could do something besides sell...ugh...makeup."  Chad's going to be the Big Bad.

More mega-hunks after the break

Scene 7: Marco has the job of picking up the super-important product prototypes and bringing them to the office for the Big Presentation.  He gets into the wrong Uber, and complains to the real passenger, a very muscular Straight Guy (Graham Parkhurst), who takes an Uber to the gym every day, about his various job mishaps.  Straight Guy consoles him.  

Whoops, he left the very important prototypes in the Uber.  There's no way to track them down, since he got in the wrong Uber. Wait -- wouldn't the Uber driver have turned them in at the company office?   Madolyn wants to forgive him, but Super-muscular Chad insists on firing him. 

Scene 8:  Ben, the coworker with the huge crush on Marco, talks to his friend: "Now that he's fired, I could ask him out, but I won't because it would be weird and creepy.  But just in case, do you have his number?"  This is definitely like Ugly Betty, where every straight guy working in an office full of supermodels fell instantly in love with the "ugly" girl.  Well, not Daniel, but they had a "will they or won't they" thing going on for several years.

Meanwhile, Mom tells Marco to fight to get his job back.  The Straight Guy probably picked up the prototypes.  You know what gym he goes to, and the time of day: go find him!  

Left: Straight Guy butt

Scene 9:  Pretending to be a rich white guy, Marco buys a gym membership, with the proviso that he can back out if he's dissatisfied.   Girl, high heels to the gym?  He pretends to work out forever, but Straight Guy never shows up, so he hits the locker room (actually, a lot of semi-private dressing rooms).  And there he is, dawdling at the mirror, wearing only a towel! 

Straight Guy gazes at Marco like he's a pork chop.  "I...um...left something in the Uber yesterday." "I've got something for you right here."  He fumbles with his towel.  Psych!  He's actually heading to his locker to retrieve the prototypes.

"And, by the way, I'm not straight. And here's my number. Bye."  He takes off his towel, flashes his butt, and heads for the showers. 

Scene 9:  Everyone stares as super-fired Marco marches through the office and into Madolyn's meeting to present the prototypes.  Chad scoffs, but Madolyn wants to hear his speech: "I'm not perfect.  I'm bad at math, the oldest movie I've seen is Titanic, and I don't know who Cher is.  But I can learn.  I can grow.  The question is, can you?"  He then criticizes the prototypes as garbage.  Madolyn is impressed; he's re-hired If you want him to advise you on make-up, hire him as a consultant, not a gopher. 

Chad scoffs.  "Curses! Foiled again!" 

Left: Nick Fink, who appears in the cast list but is not in this episodeScene 10:  His first job: fetching coffee and a Vogue for Madolyn and First Assistant Venetia.  Uh-oh, he's sharing an elevator with Ben, the guy with the major crush on him!  He fumbles and stutters until Marco takes pity and asks him out.  Ben melts in ecstasy, then catches himself: "Um..yeah, I guess that'd be cool.  Hit me up." 

Cut to First Assistant Venetia running into Chad in the bathroom.  Venetia is worried that he'll take her job, and Chad, that he'll tank the company with his newfangled ideas. They come up with a plan to "ruin that twink." The end.

Beefcake:  Chad and Parker (Straight Guy), plus a few gym hunks.

LGBTQ Characters: Marco, Chad, Parker, Ben, and -- well, just about everyone.

Femme: No one is bothered in the least by Marco's femme gender presentation.  In fact, it appears to be something of a turn-on to the more masculine-presenting guys. 

Make-Up:  There are a lot of "make-up is the most important thing in the world" manifestos, but we don't actually learn much about make-up.  Why is Madolyn's brand outdated?  What the heck is a gondola?  At least in Ugly Betty, we were told the difference between bad and good fashion.

My Grade: It's rather fun watching a boy be as femme as he wants to be with no kickback, and the hunks competing for his attention are stunning.  I'm just worried that the office-politics plotlines will be a bit old-fashioned.  A-

[melon-arts]

Here's J0nny's updated refsheet, ft. The Murdy Gurdy! After the Bar Incident, he starts really considering who he is outside of his namesake, and changes his look a bit. He also carries around the gear he pulled out in the fight and keeps it like a fucked up good luck charm. I'm actually making his denim jacket irl because its dope. More about J0nny below!

Post-reboot J0nny's really about self discovery, finding out what and who he is outside of his prescribed identity. Finding what parts he wants to keep and what he's going to discard and grow from. He also cries under the skin. It'll well up in the corner of his eyes, then just sink below it, making his "makeup" run. He's also got blue insides! His blood is the right color, but oily almost.

His eyes are synthetic and mostly mechanical, and light up/glow when hes excited. He's got a mechanical heart obviously, trying to imitate Jonny-real's mechanism, but its rudimentary at best and isn't the source of his immortality. He has chunks of metal machinery embedded in his brain that shorted out during his reboot, slowing his thoughts down and letting him think around his in-coded Jonny d'Ville identity.

His real "mechanism", if you can call it that, is his vocal chords. They're made of tape recorder ribbons contained in a magnet-proof case in his throat. These tape ribbons contain recording fragments of Mechanisms shows- specifically, Jonny's parts in those shows. His creator (who he immediately killed when he was let out of his grow-tube) survived a show and got weirdly obsessed with the idea of traveling around with the Mechanisms and being buddies with them. His "mechanism" makes it so that he sounds almost just like Jonny-proper, aside from crackling noises and occasional popping, which get much worse after the reboot and as time goes on. Eventually, the tapes probably will sound so worn and warped that he wouldn't be recognizable by voice, but that's for another day. Mostly, he sounds just a little electronic, just slightly.

J0nny's creator also planned on creating mock-ups of all the Mechanisms, but Jonny was really his focus- J0nny was just the very first prototype and an unfinished specimen. He was going to be killed after he ran a few tests, but J0nny killed him before he could even start, and took off.

Due to his coding that ran in the machinery in his brain, he was compelled to tell stories in song, perform shittier versions of all their albums, and collect his own "crew"- This comes in the form of random quasi-immortals he finds through his travels, most of who leave in relatively short time. The exception would be @crocutaclan 's OC BBot, or Bee for short, who becomes J0nny's consistent right hand man. Bee is actually the one who reboot's J0nny after he attempts to self terminate after the bar fight incident, and the act of rebooting him fries something in the circuits that lets him think around the prescribed identity and grow.

J0nny also has trouble differentiating between organic and non-organic beings. Because of his place in-between, the difference is really blurry to him. He insisted for millennia that Bee was "just an organic guy with weird meat!" before he eventually relented after the reboot.

He can play harmonica shittily, but is really good on the Hurdy Gurdy. He found his in a space goodwill and customized it with paint and a knife on the crank. It's his most prized possession. He's also much more skilled with a knife than a gun, but he does carry both. His go-to knife is chipped on one tooth from the bar fight.

J0nny is really attached to beings he considers his crew, and would do anything for them. That being said, he also would torment them if he thinks it would be a good bit. J0nny also is a criminal, and loves killing, generally. He's got the same moral hard-limits as Jonny-proper, plus a few more because I don't like writing child torment lol.

I wanna make it clear that J0nny isn't Jonny- that's the whole point. I've had some issues with that in the past, people assuming that he's just "Jonny but better/worse lol" but he's his own guy. That's his whole character arc, realizing who and what he is and what that means. I've put a lot of my own heart into his guy and he means the world to me. Please be kind.

Also his tongue is blue! <3

[pizzaandaliens]

Renaissance Faire ramblings

Renfaire was SO fun yesterday. I wore my fancy expensive fairy wings that my uncle bought for me last year at the Renaissance festival. My uncle was obsessed with the renfaire. He had terminal cancer and was only given x amount of months to live, so he splurged on all of us to celebrate our last year going together. He passed in March and I miss him a lot. I’ve been feeling pretty emotional going there knowing I’ll never get to go with him again.

But anyway aside from the sad shit…

Yesterday was great. My gf and I got season passes so we’ll be going again multiple times. I did some super glittery and festive makeup. I was a cool ass fairy. Babe had her really fancy armor and she looked dope AF too. People kept stopping us to compliment us. I had multiple people ask if they could take pictures with me/of me. And some renfaire employees saw us and went “a knight AND a fairy?! you folks look so good. You should be an advertisement for the festival” and it made my day lol

I felt so popular lmao I was like “this shit would never happen to me in middle school”

Anyway we tried a lot of yummy foods and watched some fun sword fighting shows and jousting, I got a cute purple ceramic mushroom and another dagger with a green gem on it (now I have blue, red and green gem encrusted daggers 😈)

I’m excited to go back next week!

[stopfunkinwmyheart]

so beyond like the normal bullshit I deal with with dirty ass lying women. my own sister is a fat ass dope fiend. she is lazy as fuck, so stupid, so psychotic. just listens to her kid cry. leaves him on the bed and goes into the bathroom with the door shut to do her makeup for literally an hour at a time. she will be sitting next to him just listening to him scream while she scrolls facebook. this bitch will literally just do anything to annoy me. steals shit out of my room just for the chaos. does retarded shit just so I’ll “get mad”, as if it proves that I’m the psycho that she’s playing games with me. this is really the logic of you stupid ass bitches. you all really got me bro, I’m the one who is retarded. meanwhile she’s spoiled as fuck and anything my family doesn’t give her she just goes out and sucks dick for. she has this dude who has been good as shit to her since she was pregnant. I literally thought dude was her baby daddy. she drives him nuts just for fun and he’s always good to her until he’s had enough and leaves. she hides his phone and just does retarded shit. argues about literally anything. there is literally no helping her. you offer advice when she does dumb shit and if you don’t get ignored then she’s screaming. literally just ignores me as much as possible to try and get a rise out of me. u got me, so salty that a retarded fiend won’t say thank you or answer basic questions with human decency. she fuckin got me. and like at the end of the day the only thing I can assume is either my family is hating that I’m not smoking crack or doing dope, or I’m designated babysitter. like it really makes no fucking sense to me at all. I’ve been asking for normal ass help that literally every single person in my whole family has gotten, for 10+ years. I’m the fucking retard because I’m not smoking crack. like that’s deadass how they treat me. my mom is a bipolar crackhead and if I ask literally anything at all, like “do u know when x..” “did u talk to x...” “RERERERE THE DISHES” meanwhile our tub has been clogged for like 2 fucking weeks. you need to pull our door extra hard to open and slam it to close it. the toilet overflows every few days. I would bet my life right now that my sister clogged the tub and broke the door. she also broke a 44~ inch tv that my mom bought just months earlier. just for the chaos, because she’s a girlfiend. literally for the first year or more that we lived here I did do dishes and was the only one taking the trash out. after a while why the fuck am I going to keep doing what you ask of me when you don’t do one thing that I ask of you. my mom will work all day for like 7 dollars an hour at a place that she’s close to the dope set, then come home like 4 hours after she gets off. when she gets home the maintenance guys are gone already, tough luck, guess we’re beat on anything getting done around here. I better sprinkle comet all over, wipe the counter, and sweep the floor. then I’ll bitch like nobody is doing anything. fuck the tub, the toilet, the door. I swear to god her logic is like “look im doin shit ur not” “forget that I smoke the rent money and you can’t take a shower without using a bucket to drain the tub” “forget that I’m sleeping, out of my mind high, or not here 24/7, look at me sprinkle this comet”

like yeah. after literally over 10 years of me doing everything for all the fiends I’m not doing anything until I get some help. if that somehow turned me into the crackhead then so be it. I’ve literally tried breaking it down too. like listen. why the fuck am I going to keep mopping the floor every day if it gets us nowhere. we need our priorities in order. I can help you a lot more if I had a license. “u did the dishes 15 times”