#and it leaves me -2 space to actually write this is infuriating >:( | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

siriuslystarbucks · 2 years ago

Note

You don't need to apologize for this in the slightest because you are so correct (also anyone is welcome to add more onto my posts, c'mon we're all having fun here) (also there's quite a bit of sarcasm here, so if anyone needs clarification they can send in an ask and I'll try to clear it up)

What I'm about to add is similar to the topic here, but like, 2 inches to the left. The concept of motherhood=good and childless=bad is fascinating in an infuriating way.

Lily dies and is somehow able to spontaneously get protection for Harry from it. She was a Good Mom and an uncommonly kind witch. That's it. Those are her 2 main features. (I get it, she's dead, blah blah, idc)

Molly Weasley adds Harry to her family. It is pointed out several times that the Weasley's are poor but she adds Harry to the family without thinking twice about it. He gets a family sweater, and she sends him sweets. She gives him extra instruction where she thinks he might need it and doesn't find any fault in him and gives him warm, motherly hugs, isn't she a Good Mom? She is then able to beat Bellatrix all on her own because Her Daughter Was Threatened. Y'know, despite Bellatrix previously dueling 4 people at once and holding her own. And despite the fact that we have never once heard anything about Molly having any skill with a wand other than household things-- and isn't she such a Good Mom for it?

Fleur Delacour is at first shown to be a nuisance in GoF, and then she's hated by Molly because she...exists? And is French? But she and Bill got married and there will be children in the future! She is redeemed now.

Tonks exists in a weird space, because Harry likes her right away. She pines after Remus so thoroughly that other people are pressuring him into accepting her. She doesn't seem to be hated for not having children, because she is on a quest to fix that. She leaves her kid-- thereby abandoning him when she wasn't actually well enough to be fighting lol-- but still, she is not hated. She's doing this specifically to protect his future, and she is such a Good Mother for it. I'm pretty sure she was still in post-pardum when she went to fight the Battle of Hogwarts. Don't quote me on that, but that's what I think is correct for the timeline. Either way, she was definitely not back to a pre-pregnancy body or dueling ability. I think she's meant to be some sort of comparison to Lily, because Teddy is supposed to be a comparison to Harry. James and Lily died for Harry; Remus and Tonks died for Teddy ('s future. I think that's a bit weak, but I didn't write the story now did I?) Anyone they're both orphans because their parents were fighting for a good cause, therefore Tonks is a Good Mom for it.

McGonagall, Madame Pomfrey, and Madame Hooch also exist in a slightly weird space. They're all allowed to not be mothers, but it's because they're working for the school. I don't know if this is a universal experience, but to me, it's always been the saying of "teachers think of their students like their own children". It might be a stretch, but that is where my mind goes for them. They may not be particularly close to Harry, but they are shown to care about him.

We get an epilogue-- that we all rightfully ignore-- and oh look! Ginny and Hermione both have their first kid before they're 25! (iirc) Aren't they such Good Mom's for doing that and putting their personal careers on the backburner, perhaps indefinitely?

Petunia Dursley is a mother, but she's not really considered one? She hates Harry, so she's not a Real Mom, unlike Molly Weasley. Not to mention that Dudley is referred to as a pig more often than a boy, so there is some separation there to keep in mind.

Umbridge was a teacher, but she wasn't kind or caring to any of them. She does not get the teacher immunity to being childless.

And THEN we have Bellatrix. She was married. She had plenty of time to have a child, but she didn't. How evil.

Rita Skeeter: unmarried (bad!) and therefore childless (bad!) and very dedicated to her career instead of pursuing motherhood. (she's also an anti-trans caricature which might be another reason she isn't allowed to have kids)

Now listen, I know that some of these are a bit of a stretch, but frankly that's what I like in hp meta lol. If I could consolidate it down to the ones I think are the most important (other than Lily) it would be Bellatrix and Molly. Those are the 2 I love to focus on. There's no way that Molly could have beaten her in a fight, yet she's able to from the power of motherhood. That's it. That's the only reason we have for how Molly beat Bellatrix. And if that isn't some fucked up reasoning, then I don't know what is.

This opinion is salty but so am I for a long time. 😄 Harry's protectuion is build on Lily's sacrifice, mother's love as ultimate power etc. But James died for Lily and Harry first, knowingly, defenceless?? James always played with Harry, was affectionate and all?? Its like the story itself doesn't value being loved by James. Really, only Sirius did. Narrative goes 'ah James Potter arrogant jerk improved by Good Woman' and there is Sirius 'Prongs light of my life the best and the only'

The whole 'Lily's love (and love alone, no spellwork) saved her son' plot point is my least favorite thing ever. So Lily is the only mother on the planet that loved her child enough for a protection to kick in at that point? Are we really supposed to believe that in the middle of a war no one else died trying to protect their child? James loving Harry and Lily didn't count as enough to protect them when he died? Are you fucking kidding me??????

(the way the story praises mothers and despises women who don't have kids is another issue, but one I definitely have problems with)

James was full of so much love! Let people recognize it!!!!! I'm sure I've talked about this many times, but Sirius was the only person that saw every part of James and loved him completely for it. The narrative basically says that Lily didn't like him until he started to hide what he was up to. Harry used to love his father until SWM, and after that he was just kind of... there. In Deathly Hallows, Harry is shown to love his mother more than his father for no discernible reason other than that. It's a bunch of crap and a weird version of so-called feminism by saying the mother is automatically better and more loving and more worthy of respect by her children than a father is.

Anyways, I am pushing my prongsfoot agenda by completely agreeing with you that Sirius looks at James with hearts in his eyes 24/7. "He's the best, he's perfect, he's wonderful, there's no one else this good in the entire world" and he's RIGHT James and Sirius accepted each other like no one else ever did. They are the very picture of devotion and love and it's WONDERFUL

#hp #i could tag characters but i lazy

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weirdlyhornyforegos · 2 years ago

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Wilford Warfstache x gn!reader

Anon: Could I please request a fic featuring Wilford and the Captain (reader), specifically set during ISWM Part 2? Maybe Wil knows that the Captain needs some stress relief and offers some “support” when their paths cross outside of the WMLW room ;)

MINORS DNI!!!! Writing block has been hitting hard, leave it to Wilford to make me write again ;P

Wordcount: 1.7k+

Tags/warnings: handjobs, brief oral (reader reciving), biting/marking

You stare at the man, not sure you actually heard him right.

“Excuse me?!?” It’s the first words you have uttered in what feels like forever, and you can’t help but sound incredulous, but the man in front of you just grins.

“Didn’t think your hearing would be affected Captain, but I guess you never know how your adventures might affect you, huh. I said, you look stressed, I’m free to use.” He spreads his arms wide, and you only look in disbelief.

He can’t be quite right in the head. The pink afro that slips a little as he tilts his head doesn’t help matters.

“No.” The word is firm, and that does get a frown from the pink man, but it’s quickly gone as he lowers his arms and takes a few steps closer. On instinct you take a few steps backwards, mindful that the hallway behind you isn’t endless.

“Oh come on old champ, I know it’s been a while since you saw lil’ old Wilford, but we can have some fun can’t we?” You narrow your eyes at him, but the grin doesn’t falter.

“Aren’t you tired of running? A little tired of just going where everyone else decides you to go? Don’t you want to carve out some of your own time and space?” Wilford has slowly been moving forward as he spoke, but now you stood your ground, which means at his last question he stands only inches away from you.

Which would indeed make it very easy to drag him into a kiss.

Fuck, where did that thought come from???

Your eyes flutter all over his face, and he watches you with what almost seems like mild amusement on his face as you think it over.

He was, in some infuriating way, (though you’re not sure why it gets to you so much), right. You have been on such a constant move, and you realize this is the longest time you’ve been in one place.

No doubt because of him, since he popped that blue swirling portal you had become so annoyingly familiar with.

And for now, you find you actually want to stay put for a moment.

Reaching up to your neck, the man watches with rapt interest as you unclasp your helmet, taking it off and setting down on the ground next to you.

“There’s that beautiful and or handsome face.” Grin very much in place, he sets down his martini before cupping your cheeks. You expect him to kiss you then, but instead he just hold your face.

Seeming to wait for something.

Waiting for you.

He truly was going to hold up to his word of letting you use him.

So you drag him closer by his hips and lean in so you can kiss him. His lips are firm against yours, warm and slightly chapped as your tongue comes out to give light kitten licks against them.

With the gentlest of prodding he opens his mouth, letting your tongue start to explore his mouth.

Moving backwards, you pull Wilford with you so you find yourself pinned against the wall, dragging his hips against your own, heat quickly pooling in your stomach. He must be much the same, as you can feel him start to fill out his pants.

And from what you can feel, he fills it out his pants rather well.

But that’s not what you are going to focus on now. He did after all, say he was free to use, and oh, you will use him.

You only let go of his waist so you can guide his hands to the zipper of your flight suit. He has nimble fingers, so they make quick work of it and slip inside, pushing their way into your underwear, firm fingers dancing over your arousal, pressing against you so you buck up against him.

“There you go Captain, chase those wonderful feelings.” Wilford stops the kiss to say, moving to mouth along your neck.

And though it feels nice, it’s not what you want right now.

No.

You want to be in control, and you will take that.

So, instead of letting him keep kissing your neck, you knock that stupid fake pink afro off and get a hand on his hair. You take a firm hold, and yank his head back. It makes him groan, and when he feels your teeth on his neck before your lips, he chuckles.

“Ohh, fiery!” He teases, and you roll your eyes, biting down hard, earning yourself a grunt. You remind him to keep moving his hand with a buck of your hips, and the hand inside of your flight suit soon starts moving again. His other hand comes to rest against the bottom of your spine, warm and oddly familiar.

He pants and groans as you keep littering bites all over his neck, the attention every so often broken by kisses placed over the rather harsh bites.

His hips move too, but that only seems like a second nature, like every bite of your teeth, and movement of his hand on you makes him want to chase his own pleasure even though he said you were the one that could use him.

So, deciding to take a risk (not really a big one), you whisper into his ear.

“You’re not allowed to cum before I say.” He laughs, though it mixes into his moans as your hand not in his hair drags him forward and against you.

“Aye aye Captain.” You don’t know he’s mocking you or just having fun.

Not that you really care, not with how good his hand works over your arousal, and how pretty his groans with every bite sounds.

Though he isn’t allowed to cum, you certainly are.

So as you feel yourself getting warmer and warmer, and closer and closer, you chase that high.

Grinding against his hand, purposefully moaning low right next to his ear, making him shiver as you get closer and closer to cumming.

Your thighs start to shake, and the movement of his hands gets almost desperate, the one on the bottom of your spine now pushing and urging you to move.

So, you do, not because of his eagerness to make you cum, but because you can, because you can use him as you please.

And what you please now is cumming over his hand.

In only a few minutes you do, not caring about your own volume, the music from the other room drowning out the possibility for anyone else other than him to hear you.

Wilford keeps moving his hands and hips against you, keeping you riding that high for a little extra while. You have to grab his wrist to make him still, fishing out his hand of your flight suit. You hold it up in front of his mouth, and without a word, like he knows you so well, he takes his fingers into his mouth, cleaning you off his fingers.

He puts on a show of it, licking each digit with careful attention, keeping eye contact with you the whole time as his tongue cleans off every digit.

When he’s done, he lets the hand fall, shifting so both of his hands gently hold your hips. Your thighs feel sticky, so you get an idea.

A hand on Wilford’s shoulder, pushing at him gives clear instructions without needing words.

He sinks to his knees, and doesn’t hesitate to lean forward to start cleaning you off.

It’s so too soon for you to cum again just yet, but his mouth and tongue on your thighs and most sensitive area feels so good, making your thighs shake again.

He looks up and winks at you, not moving away from you for a second.

“Touch yourself.” His eyes widen, but his hand moves fast with his button and zipper. In seconds he has himself in hand, stroking over his cock. He’s far from small, and for a moment you wonder how it would feel to touch.

And though it’s tempting, you want Wilford to cum by his own hand.

“You can cum like this, but you better give me a show.” Wilford nods, and you put a hand in his hair again, pulling his head backwards so his neck arches so pretty for you.

He groans low in his throat, closing his eyes as he works his hand over himself, his leaking cock making sure you know how close he is to cumming already.

He makes a rather pretty picture like this.

Knees spread wide, panting as his hand turns to a blur over his cock, head held back, his neck covered in your bitemarks.

Though some look to be healing already.

Odd.

But you don’t mind, it’s far from the weirdest thing you’ve seen today.

“Fuucckkk.” He groans, shaking as his hands stills, his own cum now covering it almost just like your did earlier.

You watch as he takes a few deep breaths, opening his eyes, catching your gaze again. Once more he brings his hand up to his lips, licking it clean with a grin, eyes almost twinkling.

“Feeling a little better Captain?” He teases, trying to move his head, but your firm grasp keeps him in a place for a few moments.

“Wanting another round so soon Cap?” You snort, letting go of his hair. On slightly unsteady legs, he gets up, making sure to zip up his pants. He helps you do the same, and with minimal effort, you look presentable again, and not like you just came over his hand. Wilford too looks like before, other than his shirt which has somehow gotten more unbuttoned.

You see more than just a little peek of a firm chest, and for a moment you think about asking for that second round.

But no, you have to get back to.... Whatever the universe has planned for you.

For now.

You put your helmet back on while Wilford pulls out an ancient looking phone from somewhere, and a pink portal appears.

Wilford pulls you close for a moment, at first you think it’s to say something, but he just kisses the forehead of your helmet before pushing you towards the swirling pink that hangs in the air. You absentmindedly notice that all your bite marks are gone, except one just under his jaw.

You wonder how long it will last.

#wilford warfstache x reader #wilford x reader #Wilford Warfstache #wilford #wilford warfstache smut #wilford smut #wilford warfstache fic #wilford warfstache fanfiction #gn! reader #gn reader #my writing #lemon #smut #wilford fanfiction #wilford fic

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sunrisefairy · 4 years ago

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Annoying

Paring: Remus Lupin x fem!reader Warning: NSFW! MDNI 18+ unprotected sex, swearing, mentions of oral sex. If I’ve forgotten anything let me know! Summary: Remus finds the reader so annoyingly distracting. A/N: for the anon that wanted a mix of enemies to lovers and Remus losing control near the full moon. I hope I did it justice. Requests are open!

tag list: if your name is crossed out i couldn’t tag you :( @theweasleyslut @anxiousblanketqueen @midnightgremlin @babyjordy @widowdays @inglourious-imagines @garbdump @star-sunshine-sage @weelittleweasley @starlightkell @omghufflepuff @weasleysprincess @harrysboo28 @j-amespotter @woodxweasley @gryffindorgirl @siriusbarnesslut @joytce397 @thegirllostinthelibrary @layaaaa @nuttytani @horrormoviebitch @j-weasley-lupin @sunflowerdarlingx @touchdeprivedwh0re @melonoptimist @iamnibbsi @thebiggestsimponearth @impulse-anchor @lilytheally @familydisappointed @alinor-padfoot

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Remus Lupin isn’t one to hate people, sure there is only a select few people that he actually likes spending time with and considers his good friends but that doesn’t mean that he dislikes everyone else, he just doesn’t have time for a lot of people, especially annoying people. And some people are just more annoying than others and most times those people don’t even realise they’re acting as such. Except for the girl who is basically in every one of his classes, you. Remus is certain you know how infuriating you are, especially when you shoot your hand up to beat Remus to answering a question or how a smile will stretch across your pretty lips when you finds out you scored higher than Remus on a test or how you always seems to giggle a little louder when you knows Remus is nearby. Remus finds it irritating how you seems to know exactly how to get on his nerves, you know precisely how to make his cheeks heat up in anger and make his blood boil and his cock hard, okay maybe you don’t realise you’re doing the last one but still. But the thing that annoys Remus the most is you don’t seem to care.

Being friends with James Potter and Sirius Black, Remus has learnt to obtain the patience of a saint. He finds no trouble in zoning out their constant chatter and ignoring their mindless bickering. However, as it gets closer to a full moon, Remus’ tolerance wears thin and the marauders quickly learnt to simmer down and be wary of Remus around a full moon, unless either one of them wanted a smack to the back of the head. As it gets closer to his transformations Remus’ senses are heightened tenfold, it’s as if he can hear every sound, smell every scent and everything he tastes is 10 times more intense.

His joints were aching more than usual last night so that combined with Peters constant snoring ensured minimal sleep which resulted in Remus being extra irritable today which would have been manageable if he didn’t have a class first thing with you. Beautiful, cute, annoying you.

Remus thought if he could just spend the lesson concentrating hard enough on the professors dull voice that you sitting in the same room as him wouldn’t be an issue, it wasn’t like he sat next to you anyway, James or Sirius always occupied the desk next to him eager to ‘share’ his notes. Expect this day was different, because Remus got little sleep last night he slept through his alarm and somehow even slept through the booming voices of the Marauders when they were getting ready this morning. Remus started off the day jumping out of bed and rushing to get ready, having no time for breakfast (which added to his already foul mood) and practically falling through the classroom door only to find his usual seat was pre-occupied by some girl Sirius was trying to woo and James was sitting next to Pete.

“Ah, Mr. Lupin. How fantastic to see you have finally decided to join us. Please find a seat so I can continue on with my lesson,” the Professor states before continuing his lifeless lesson.

Remus quickly scans the room for a free chair to rush to, he spots one in the far corner of the room but falters in his step when he notices who is seated next to the free space, you. Remus groans when he realises this was the only free chair and very obviously drags his feet before plopping down beside you, he can only hope you decided to not be annoyingly distracting today.

“How scandalous that Mr. prefect is late to class,” you whisper, chuckling when you see Remus roll his eyes, a usual reaction of his.

Remus comes to the conclusion that the best point of action is to just pretend you don’t exist, which goes according to plan until 3 quarters of the way through the lesson. The thing is, Remus hasn’t sat in such close proximity to you this close to a full moon before and he’s struggling to keep his focus on the jumble of words in front of him and not on the way you’re obnoxiously twirling your hair between your fingers. Whatever perfume you sprayed on yourself is suffocating Remus’ nostrils and he can’t get enough. Within no time Remus thoughts are straying away from his textbook to more filthy thoughts surrounding you. The main image that is burning a hole in his brain is the thought of burying his face in your neck and inhaling your scent and sinking his teeth into your perfect skin, he has to bite his lip to stop himself from groaning.

Remus manages to write 2 more messy sentences down before glancing in your direction and noticing the way your lip is pulled between your teeth and he can’t help but fantasise about biting your annoyingly pretty lips himself.

“Stop doing that,” Remus grits through his teeth as he speaks.

You meet his gaze confused, “stop doing what?”

“That!” Remus whisper yells, pointing at your lips as you once again pull your bottom lip in between your lip. “It’s distracting.”

You mumble an apology and go back to writing your notes. You’re so engrossed in reading the selected chapter you don’t even notice you’re bouncing your leg up and down rapidly until a rough hand stills your movements. You’re expecting Remus to remove his large hand once your movements stop, however to your surprise he keeps his hand resting firmly against your bare knee. Mouth agape and staring down at where Remus is touching you, the way his thumb is stroking at your skin seems innocent enough, so why is your stomach in knots?

Remus leans dangerously close to your ear, which thankfully goes unnoticed by the rest of the class given the fact the two of you are seated at the back of the room. “You are being very distracting right now bunny, it’s making me angry.”

A visible shudder runs through your body, feeling Remus’ hot breath fanning the side of your face makes your mouth dry. Remus’ low teasing voice makes you whimper immediately a heat rushes up your cheeks because even though your whimper was quiet Remus is so very close to you right now, you know he heard.

“Come with me,” Remus squeezes your knee and moves to rise from his seat.

You halt his movements by grabbing onto his bicep, “we can’t just leave, we’re in the middle of class.” Your eyes dart to the front of the room to see if your professor has witnessed Remus’ half standing and planning his escape.

“What’s life without a bit of risk bunny, now c’mon.” his tone demanding and firm. Without even a second glance Remus walks out of class, making you wonder if he’s done this before. The odds are high, given that he’s one fourth of the infamous marauders clan.

You look away from the door Remus just so carelessly walked out of and to the front of the class at your professor, he’s sitting at his desk reading over papers and very obviously trying to stay awake. The chances of him catching you are slim but that isn’t what you’re nervous about. You’re nervous about what will happen if you do make it out of the classroom unnoticed, you’re nervous about what Remus will do to you. The endless possibilities are both thrilling and exciting. There’s no way you could stay seated not when there’s a wetness pooling in your panties just from Remus’ hand on your knee.

Carefully you slip out from your seat and rush to the door, breathing a sigh of relief when you successfully make it out into the corridor. Looking around you notice the corridor is empty and there’s no sign of Remus, you begin walking down the hallway in search of the boy.

“Remus?” you’re met with nothing but silence. Just as you’re about to turn and head back to class you feel a strong arm grip yours and tug your harshly into a tiny room.

“Ooft,” your body slamming into someone’s hard chest; if only there was a light source in this closet? yes it’s definitely a closet, if only it wasn’t so dark in here you would be able to figure out who decided it a good idea to scare the shit out of you by pulling you in here with them.

“Took your fucking time,” the other person grunts, Remus you thought, you knew that voice.

“Remus, what the hell? Care to explain why your dragged me out of class and into this dark broom closet?” Although there is no light in the tiny closet you can vaguely see Remus’ outline towering over you, you gulp realising how close the both of you are standing to each other. Remus’ hot breath fans your face and you’re very aware that if you were to angle your head further upwards and stand on your tiptoes you could connects your lips. The thought itself has you shuddering.

“Couldn’t wait.” Remus replies, stepping closer, invading your personal space even more, not that you minded.

“Couldn’t wait for what?”

“Merlin you’re dumber than I thought if you don’t know.”

You scoff defensively, “I am not dumb, do I have to remind you I bet you on the last Charms essay? and on the transfigurations one so-”

The words die in your throat, Remus cutting you off by connecting your lips in a needy and desperate kiss. Immediately you wrap your arms around his neck and tug him closer by the hair. Remus rests his hands on your waist pulling your hips flush against his, you whimper feeling his hard cock pressing against your stomach.

Remus breaks away from your mouth and starts sucking and licking down your jaw and neck while his hands move to grope at your breasts over the top of your school shirt. “We don’t have much time before class ends.” Remus mumbles into your skin, his mouth is salivating when he breathes in deep, his nostrils filling with the sweet scent of you, it’s so intoxicating and immediately images of you are accompanying his mind, some more sinful than others. Remus wastes no time in sinking his teeth into the fleshy part of your shoulder, his cock twitching at the sound you make.

“Then you better hurry up and fuck me Remus,” you smirk, loving the way Remus groans and narrows his eyes at you. His pupils have seemingly expanded and darkened, his eyes are scanning over every inch of your face leaving you feeling vulnerable.

Your pussy has been throbbing since Remus firmly rested his hand on your leg back in the classroom and you know your panties are soaked by now with the way Remus is rutting his hips against yours but it’s not enough. It won’t be enough, not until you know what it’s like to have Remus’ skin against yours and his cock inside you but even then, you think you will always be wanting more of him.

Your hands are fumbling at Remus’ pants trying to get them unbuckled as quickly as possible, Remus understands the rush and helps you, skilfully undoing his pants and pushing them along with his boxers down his legs with only one hand, the other creeps under your shirt and rests delicately on the small of your back. Just the feeling of Remus’ skin on your back makes you melt further into him, your desire to have him fuck you hard and fast is becoming unbearable. Remus’ cock is sitting hard and angrily between your bodies, desperate for any sort of attention and Remus wishes you had more time because he would love to push you down to your knees and finally force you to shut up by pushing his cock into your sweet mouth and make you gag and choke around his length until you’re crying. But time isn’t on his side right now so instead Remus wraps his strong arms around your arse, silently signally you to jump which you do with no hesitation and lock your legs around his waist.

Remus reaches his hand down to flip your skirt up, he be damned if he couldn’t see the cunt he’s spent way to much time thinking about. Remus pull your panties to the side groaning when his fingers graze your wet dripping core, another thing he wishes he could do is to taste you. He just knows you taste sugary and sweet just like the sounds you’re making as he teases your entrance. He wants to bury his face deep in your cunt inhaling your scent while he licks and sucks until you’re screaming his name, maybe another time.

“You gotta be quiet for me kay bunny? Think you can do that?” Remus’ voice is thick with lust and a condescending tone is laced throughout it.

“You think that highly of yourself?” you retort trying to rile Remus up like you normally do, it seems to be working judging by the way Remus pinches the flesh of your arse.

Without breaking eye contact Remus lines up his cock and drags your hips down until he’s deep inside you, his balls pressed flush against your skin.

Remus isn’t sure if it’s because it’s close to the full moon but he hasn’t even started moving yet and the way the soft velvet walls of your cunt is gripping and hugging at his cock feels so intense and heavenly, he thinks he might cum right there.

Along with a lack of patience around this time of the month Remus also struggles to control himself and his urges. It takes every ounce of self-discipline in him to hold you against the rough wall of the broom closet and slowly rock his hips into yours, feeling the need to control the situation. Remus is very conscious of not gripping your hips too hard and not slamming his hips up into yours too roughly, he doesn’t want to let go mentally and hurt you.

You can tell Remus is holding back, the authoritative tone used in the classroom is vastly different to his actions right now. He’s supposed to be fucking you hard and fast and making you scream, not this.

Although the pleasure from Remus’ rocking into your cunt is great you know he can do better, can fuck you better. “Remus,” you whine, pulling his face away from your neck, forcing him to look you in the eyes. There’s clearly an internal struggle behind his eyes. “Remus, I need you to fuck me properly. I can take it, you won’t break me, promise.”

Remus does pick up the speed slightly, but you can clearly tell there’s still some hesitance on his behalf and you asking nicely didn’t seem break that. You’re desperate for Remus to let go. A smirk breaks out onto your face, an idea forming. Based on your previous interactions you know exactly how to get under Remus’ skin, what to say and do that would have him clenching his jaw in annoyance, after all it was a hobby of yours, annoying Remus Lupin. “Guess we don’t have to worry about me being quiet if you fuck like this. Pity, was kinda hoping you’d have me screaming.”

Something deep and primal in him snaps, blame it on the full moon or how you’re silently challenging him, he doesn’t care, all he cares about right now is proving you wrong, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had you trembling and shaking.

His grip on your hips tighten, nails threatening to break skin as Remus pushes your further into the wall behind you so hard for a second you think you might go tumbling right through it. You’re grateful for the material of your school top slightly soften the rough texture of the wall behind you. With no warning Remus starts slamming his hips harder and faster into yours, clearly set on making you squirm against him. Each thrust is harder than the last and his cock is poking your g-spot repeatedly. The sounds you were making were positively indecent and only fuelled Remus on. Neither of you cared that anyone walking by the broom closet could possibly hear the sound of skin slapping together or yours and Remus’ moans. None of that mattered, not when the two of you felt this good.

The vigour of Remus’ pace was unmatched and all you could do was hold on tight to Remus’ shoulders and take every powerful thrust. You were hypnotised with the feeling of Remus’ cock inside of you, you couldn’t help but wonder what other parts of his body like his fingers or tongue, would feel like when fucking you.

“Fuck Remus, so good. I-I” you weren’t even sure what you were trying to say, all your thoughts were jumbled and bouncing around in your brain, all you knew is you never wanted Remus to stop.

“You feel amazing,” Remus’ body was on fire, every inch of him alight and burning, his annoyance of how his day started was far from his mind. All he could think of was you and how you were clenching around him. He chokes out a strained sob when he hears you chanting his name in time with each rough snap of his hips, you sound both angelic and sinful at the same time, Remus’ wishes he had one of those muggle voice recording devices so he could record your whines and listen to them when he’s alone in his dorm room.

Using his free hand Remus reaches down to rub tight circles on your clit edging you closer and closer to your release. Your orgasm is fast approaching much like a freight train heading straight for you, sirens blaring but you can’t move, the pleasure is too intense and too powerful to do anything except take it.

Remus’ face is pressed back against your neck and he quickly decides it’s his favourite place to be, if someone offered him 1,000 Galleons to never bury his face in your neck, he wouldn’t take it. Remus can hear the squelching sounds of your soppy cunt as it helplessly takes his fat cock. He’s leaving sloppy kisses and hickeys wherever he can get his mouth. It’s right when Remus’ digs his teeth into your neck and bites down hard do you fall apart, your pussy clenching and spasming around him, right in this moment you’re thankful for Remus holding you up against the wall, your legs are shaking and tensing and you know if you were standing the intensity of the orgasm would have brought you to your knees. Remus’ name is the only word you seem capable of saying as the coil inside your stomach snaps and rapidly unravels as you come undone.

“Remus, Remus, Remus!”

You connect your lips with Remus’ in a lame attempt to shut yourself up, the kiss is rushed and your teeth clash together but you don’t give a fuck. Remus’ name is still spilling from your lips and into Remus’ mouth as your body begins to come down from the high.

The boy holding you up hasn’t faltered in his movements at all, determined to fuck you through your orgasm. There’s beads of sweat dripping from Remus’ forehead, his mind is whirling and thoughts of you are spiralling around his brain, he thinks he might pass out and he’s certain he does for a second when you whisper and bite his earlobe.

“Want you to cum inside me Remus, fill me up,” half a thrust later and Remus’ hips stutter and he’s spilling into your cunt groaning your name as he does so. His vision blurs around the edges before he closes his eyes and he lets out a moan so deep, primal and loud. Remus continues to rock his hips milking his own orgasm until the last drop is squeezed from his soften cock. He stills his movements but doesn’t dare pull out just yet, relishing in the warmth of your pussy and the way your hand is brushing the sweaty hair off his forehead. You rest your forehead against Remus’ sweaty one, pecking his lips, once, twice then three times.

“That was…” you drift off unable to find the right words to describe what just happened.

“Intense?” Remus offers breathlessly.

You nod, “in the best way.”

It wasn’t until you hear the sounds of students outside signalling the end of class do either of you move, Remus helping you clean yourself up. And it wasn’t until the two of you were certain the coast was clear did you exit the closet with the promise of doing that again very soon.

#Remus Lupin #remus lupin x reader #Remus Lupin smut #Remus Lupin x you #Remus Lupin imagines #remus lupin imagine #elles recs #smutty recs #smut

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kmikaelsonimagines · 4 years ago

Text

The Old Ways, Part Two: A Kol Mikaelson Imagine

Request from @the-world-of-naiyara: Hello beautiful. Do I even need to write this request? I mean, I'll do it 'cause those are the rules but you know what's coming right? Of course you do. *drum rolls* "Can I get a part 2 to The Old Ways?"

Hope this is okay for you lovely, and enjoy x

Need to catch up? Find the rest of the series just below:

The Old Ways

Learning the old ways with Kol was going well. You had mastered the language now – and finished Vikings for a third time – and you could see the pride in Kol’s eyes every time you had a session with him.

More often than not those sessions ending with a more romantic setting, but neither of you were complaining.

You were in the living room of his family’s mansion, talking to his sister when he walked in, before moving the furniture out of the way. “I thought Klaus had just had this place decorated. I doubt he’s going to be particularly happy when he finds out you’ve got other ideas.”

Kol smiled, before leaning over and kissing your forehead. “I’ll put it all back. We just need the space.”

“For what?”

“For combat practice.” Your heart fluttered at the thought, at the proof before you that no matter what he said, Kol was enjoying reminiscing about his youth, using it as an excuse to spend time with you, to make you happy. “You know how to speak like a Viking, so now you get to learn how to fight like one. And I’m going to teach you.”

From the corner of the room, Rebekah snorted. You and Kol turned to face his younger sister. “What?”

“The fighting was never really your thing, was it Kol?”

“Your point being?”

“I doubt Y/N’s going to learn from someone who almost stabbed themselves the last time they picked up a sword.” Kol threw a cushion at Rebekah, who ducked out of the way, laughing.

“We’re not talking about sword-fighting, Bex. Just hand to hand combat to start. She needs to learn how to protect herself.” You felt the true meaning of Kol’s words, the worries that had always formed a substantial part of your relationship. Kol was an Original vampire, a Mikaelson, and with that there came many enemies. All of whom would use the people he loved to get to him.

It was very rarely you felt that being loved by Kol Mikaelson was a burden, so you tended not to think about it.

“Rebekah, can you leave please?” Kol turned to his sister who, reluctantly, did as she was told. Her words of Kol being useless rang in your ears, and you had a feeling that whatever happened this afternoon, you were going to enjoy yourself. You stood from your chair and faced your boyfriend.

“Okay, so fists up, and –” Kol grabbed your fists, positioning them just so. You smiled at the feeling of his skin on yours, a touch so familiar, but yet so sensational. “There. Okay, so now you try to hit me. I know you won’t want to but – bloody hell, Y/N.”

You laughed as Kol dodged your first punch with his supernatural speed. You threw another one, which he dodged again. “God, darling. Didn’t know you wanted to hurt me that badly. Remind me not to piss you off.”

“You should already know not to do that.” You threw another punch which Kol avoided, knowing full well that you didn’t actually want to hurt him. It was the thrill of behaving like your fascination that drove you, the excitement of becoming a modern day Viking. You felt like you were a character on the show, and you couldn’t have asked for someone better to do it with.

A few moments later and Kol was teaching you how to pin someone to the ground. “So take my arm and twist it behind my back. Then you force me to the floor.”

You did so gently, careful not to hurt Kol. You held him in place on the floor. “Okay so now what?”

“Now, you expect the unexpected.” You could hear something devilish in Kol’s voice, something that told you he had a plan.

“What do you mean?”

“This.”

With one swift kick, Kol had knocked your legs from under you, making you fall onto him. He twisted out of the grip you had on him, so you landed on his chest, your face hovering over his. “You idiot.” You slapped his chest playfully. Kol’s hand moved to your spine, and you were conscious of how the atmosphere in the room had changed.

“But you love me.”

“I really do.” Kol kissed you then, his hand sliding up your back to tangle in your hair. Your legs intertwined with his as you laid together, indulging in the comfort that each other provided. As usual, your teaching session had ended with that more romantic setting, and you had a feeling that this definitely wasn’t part of learning those old ways.

Not that you cared as Kol flipped you over, hovering over you as he kissed you with a fire you were happy to let burn.

Two hours later and the furniture had been moved back so as not to infuriate Klaus. You sat opposite Kol, noticing how he continued to fidget. “I’m bored, Y/N. I need entertainment.”

“I can think of a few things,” you suggested, looking at him through hooded eyes.

“Oh, really?” He stood, making to kiss you, to resume your activities from your fighting lesson. You smiled at him.

“We could watch Vikings.” You laughed as he rolled his eyes, groaning.

But you were pleasantly surprised when for the first time ever in your relationship, Kol Mikaelson agreed with you. As he sat next to you, pulling you close to him, you realised that it didn’t matter whether it was now or back then, the new ways or the old ones, as long as you had Kol by your side, life would be perfect.

Masterlist

#tvd #tvd imagine #tvd imagines #the originals #the vampire diaries #to #the originals imagine #the originals imagines #kol mikaelson imagines #Kol mikaelson #kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson x reader #nate buzz #Nathaniel Buzolic #nate buzolic

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wizkiddx · 4 years ago

Note

Blurb req- Tom and the reader on a private jet hungover? just pure fluff?

fluffy requests are well and truly open ( bcos I adored writing this ahah) and let me know what u think , I am deff not a writer so any feedback or tips would be v appreciated :))

summary: tomhollandxactress!reader - a wrap party followed by an early morning flight and a grumpy Harry, what could possibly go wrong?

warning: mentions of alcohol and sickness

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The remorse. The regret. It only made the pounding in your head even worse. Why those two 1.5 litre bottle of Bacardi had been brought out was beyond you. Why the you six of you had then decided to empty said bottle was even more of a mystery. It wasn’t like any of you had needed it, you’d all been more than ‘merry’ prior to the cheap rum and coke.

Hence the state of you, Tom and Harry as well as your manager Davey and Tom’s team of Rachel and Andrew. All having made very little effort with your appearance - joggers and hoodies all round, with you and Rachel also sporting sunglasses because you were simply smarter than the boys. Thankfully, this wasn’t a big trip that fans knew about, this was you and Tom moving location under cover - the studios didnt want anybody to know that either of you made a feature in this film, so everything was under the cover of darkness. Which to be honest you were not complaining about. However, you were complaining about the fact the flight had been scheduled to leave at 7 am the night after your wrap party though.

The two of you had just wrapped your most recent and most ambitious movie to date - hence the massive celebrations last night for just surviving and getting it done. It had been the most intense 3 months of your life, there had been times you’d cry for hours on end, times you just wanted to quit fully knowing you’d never be hired again for leaving a multimillion dollar company in the lurch.But you all, somehow, had survived. So celebrations were in order of course but perhaps not as far as you all managed last night?

Your whole convey appeared to have travelled to the airfield in absolute silence, no one particularly fancied hearing anyone else’s voice- which to be honest seemed quite fair. You’d ridden in a car with Tom and Harry, with you resting your head on Tom’s broad shoulder - which had obviously made Harry gag, rolling his eyes. Bless Harry, really he was the only reason you and Tom had got together, after getting sick of the mutual pining he’d been forced to live with during the previous 2 projects you’d worked on together. But now, having had to put up with the two of you being so ridiculously loved up for the past 3 months - understandably a bit of distance from you and his brother was overdue.

One of the flight attendants busied themselves loading your luggage, whilst the pilot asked you and Tom for a photo. Of course, you weren’t going to say no however you did have to cringe at how rough you both looked. His teenage daughter certainly would be less excited to see that her Dad hadn’t met Tom Holland and Y/n Y/l/n. Instead he’d met the zombified, undead and rougher frauds. Still you smiled as much as you could, wincing when you removed the glasses and the early morning sun pierced your restricted pupils. God it wasn’t your day.

The guy didn’t seem to mind though, excitedly hurrying off onto the plane to settle in the rest of you - leaving just you and Tom outside on the tarmac.

“Poor guy, we look like shit.” You murmured while taking a step closer to lean slightly into his side.

“Speak for yourself love.’Tom snickered into the top of your head, after pulling you completely into his chest. This wasn’t normally allowed, your relationship still wasn’t public and both of you intended on keeping it private for as long as possible. But you were in an otherwise empty field in the middle of nowhere (somewhere in Georgia) before 8 am. It was actually quite nice to feel your boyfriends arms round you in the outside world, especially when you felt this shit. After a few moments you pulled away, arching back at Tom’s pouty face as you motioned it was time to get on the plane.

“’S too late you know.” Your brows furrowed at his half formed sentence, facial expression only demanding him to explain more. “They all have already taken the good seats… Harry basically sprinted on so he can hog the bed thing.” In response it was your turn to pout, groaning as you fell back into his chest again. Yes, this was a complete first world issue, a private jet paid completely by your bosses was not something a lot would moan about. Truly you were grateful for everything you had in life, but with the worst hangover of your life when the opportunity of lying down for 6 hours instead of being stuck in a chair had manifested itself… well of course you felt robbed by your almost brother Harry.

Chuckling at your reaction, he gave you an extra squeeze before leading the both of you up the stairs to the cabin. Sure enough Harry had completely and totally claimed the longer couch at the far end of the plane, lying on his stomach with his face hidden in the crook of his elbow. Rolling your eyes at the predictable situation, you didn’t miss Davey laughing at your sorry state - nmaking you throw daggers at him in your eyes.

Davey was your second father, the relationship between the two of you far transcended any professional working one. Which is why the two of you acting like this was very much a norm and not rude at all. He had also got the next best seat in the corner with the most leg room which he clearly loved to show off.

Unsurprisingly then you and Tom ended up squashed into the corner with your legs crumpled up together in the small space floor space. The brunette opposite you didn’t seem to mind so much but that was because he had an adaptational advantage. He could sleep anywhere and everywhere , whenever he wanted. On set if he was tired? Just take a ten minute power nap on the floor. Bored of a long car journey? Just conk out against the window. It absolutely infuriated you, as no matter how hard and how exhausted you were - it was rare you could get any further than a light doze. Even before the two go you got together, having a best mate that could skip all the boring bits and was immune to jet lag… you can see how that makes you want to punch him square in the face.

After a short safety talk from the pilot and flight attendant, the plane whirred into life and you were up in the air. Although in your current state, it would be reasonable to assume the beauty of flying had somewhat rubbed off - you were certain it never would. No matter how many flights you took across country ,and in fact continents, for work; you’d never get sick of watching the view below you. It was perfect and breathtaking and took your mind off the pounding in the back of your head for the first 20 minutes.

Until the need for sleep took over as either you need to be unconcious or you were going to vomit - which you really didn’t want to do at 40,000 feet in a tin box. Trying to rearrange your limbs to get comfier you accidentally knocked Tom’s leg rather forcefully, causing him to jump half out his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly as he tried to get his baring as to what was attacking him - quickly answered by your guilty look.

“You okay love?” His voice was slurred, sounding almost sleep drunk - but perhaps was just actually still a little drunk. You’d only headed to bead last night at 4 am and had to be up at 6 - which isnt very long for your poor kidneys to try and process the stupid amount of alcohol you’d both happily been chugging the night before.

“Feel shitty and cant sleep.” You weren’t in the mood to white lie - honestly some sympathy from your beautiful boyfriend seemed like a dream at the moment. Tom’s idea was better though.

“C’mere then.” His arms outstretched, you immediately jumped into his lap - the two of you shifting about to get comfortable till you were sat side on to him, your bum and back leaning against the arm rest of the chair with your legs going over his thighs and pressing against the wall of the plane. Pulling you closer to his chest, Tom took a deep breath as he pressed his chin against the crown of your head; your face now nested into his chest.

Nothing needed to be said as the two of you melted into each others bodies, the slow and deepening breathing enough to prove to each other you were both incredibly contented in that moment. More than that you felt safe- you’d admitted to Tom some weeks ago that you had never ever slept better than when he was beside you. Yeh it was cringey but sometimes that’s allowed right?

… well not to Harry. Because as the plane was about to begin it’s descent, the pilot had tasked Harry (who had slept off the worst of the hangover and had spent the last 30 minutes of the flight scoffing at how adorable the two of you looked fast asleep together) - even after Rach had scalded him and had taken a photo of the two of you on her phone.

Causing Harry to ,ever subtly, wake the two of you up by throwing his half empty water bottle over your heads.

Safe to say, Harry very nearly didn’t leave that jet alive.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland

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manonamora-if · 3 years ago

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And what a year it has been. I have decided to not be original and follow the steps of other IF authors and have a little final updates on this year.

I don't really talk much about personal things on this Tumblr (maybe I should, maybe I should leave it like this), but it has been a strange year. I moved across the world early 2021, had to deal with a terrible administration to have my papers in orders (it took for some 8 months you guys...), lost some people and almost lost some more, was hella bored waiting for things to come through (completely out of my control), met some new people, had a small culture clash along the way... and, most importantly, survived another year (even with the C-panini looming over our heads - get vaccinated and boosted).

One highlight of this year was coming to this hell of a website and interacting with cool people, exchanging ideas and information, and working in even cooler projects. I think what saved my sanity was starting creating IF stuff. Sure I had to take a (long) break or two along the way, but helped so much with keeping a semblance of a routine (with M's help too).

Since April-ish, I have worked on a bunch of stuff (see the Master list). There is probably too much I want to say about these projects, so I'll limit myself to a few words each. Meeting the Parents was a RIDE, that taught me a coding language or two and some cool praises. Crimson Rose and White Lily has been and still is EXCITING, and reminded me to keep things simple and organized. Exquisite Cadaver was QUICK but not easy, and took me in a deeper dive into coding and macro use. TTTT was PAUSED as soon as it started, but it will come back hopefully sometime next year. And other ideas and projects that are still in the infant stage.

As I dived back into writing, something that I had forsaken for too many years, I learned a lot about myself and what I liked doing. I worked hard... and also barely. I wrote much more than I thought I would, and also barely finished NaNoWriMo. I failed many, many, times and also succeeded (unless you are called Tweego, I will master you next year!). I have given up and started again. I have been excited and annoyed, infuriated and ecstatic, and felt so much that I thought I would not feel as deeply again (fuck you, depression). And I have worked a lot on myself. I don't think I can completely stop comparing myself to other people, in how much or well I write or the numbers I get; or stop myself from feeling undeserving and out of place in this space. But sharing some stuff that is not always shared here and be vulnerable here has helped me tremendously. I can still be afraid to fail, but it is getting easier to get over with it.

This year has been great. This year has been terrible. It is ending just fine, around people I love and care, with some lovely food and drinks. I hope you are able enjoy the passage into the new year as happily as I definitively will.

Boy-o-boy am I excited for this new year!

I can't wait to get deeper into the IF Ocean and its wonderful games. I don't think I have been trying out as many games as I wanted, but I have already set myself some time to look up fun demos to try out and be excited about. I have a saved list already on itch. I also want to be more part of the community in terms of supporting other authors (as much as I can, cause we are all #broke here). Expect some bunch of reblogs maybe?

There are a few projects that I have on the horizon:

First, CRWL Chapter 2 should be out some time in 2022 Q1 (depends on how fast the re-drafting/proofreading goes).

I do want to finish and submit TTTT to the next IF Comp, the code is there and works, I just need to do the hard part of actually writing characters and backstory.

M has been hard at work with his Lovecraftian-inspired IF, which I will code (yay for less work!); I will take whatever is done and probably submit it to a Halloween-themed jam on itch later this year. I have read his file and I have to say... THIS IS SO COOL. Unfortunately, he is going to have busy days ahead so progress will be ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Some other stuff I am looking forward to:

I think one of my games will be hitting a milestone soon.

Next month will be the 6-month anniversary of CRWL, and like MtP I am planning on doing a small retrospection on how well it is doing and some stuff I've learnt working on this project.

Some other IFs I am following are getting an update or are releasing their demos.

Finally making Tweego my b*tch (hopefully... it's really not easy 😭)

My birthday will be coming up sooner than I'd like it too. But I've stopped being afraid of seeing my age grow and not feeling like I am keeping up with my peers. I am really looking forward to my favourite meal 😂

Finally, I've been toying with the idea of getting some sort of Kofi or add a Donate button to my itch page. And a Discord for beta testers. I'd need to mull it over a bit longer.

Anyway... see you all in the new year! Luv ya!

#personal stuff #milestone #retrospective #2021 #2022 #new year

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dirt-cup-draco · 4 years ago

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James x Reader- Impossibility (2/2)

Part 1---> Here!

“James,” your voice cracked and your eyes turned misty. “I know you don’t understand but I can’t tell you… It will be so much worse if I do. Just please hug me and give me some time. Maybe we can try to be like we were once but I need time before that and you need to live your life like always- without fretting over what I’m doing,”

The words cut deep even if that wasn’t your intention. Had James truly made you feel so forgotten that you insisted the end of your friendship was the best and only option?

A hug was the least he could do.

When his arms found their way around you he felt the tremors going through your frame. Shoulders shaking with the sobs you were trying to conceal and knees quivering with a frailty he knew had more to do with your emotional distress than any actual weakness.

“I’ll see you around Potter,”

You pulled away first and James wasn’t sure how to keep his hold on you anymore. It seemed it’d been gone for longer than he thought.

If you thought the few months before graduation had been tough without James had been torture you surely hadn’t been thinking. Now it had been three years and the day you’d said goodbye to the most important person in your life replayed in your mind despite you doing everything you could to block it out.

There were days you woke up feeling like you could breathe. Like you could power through the day without more than a few fond thoughts of James, because even now there was still never a day where he didn’t run around your mind and make your heart jerk around uncomfortably.

Now his name brought you a level of anxiety that filled your veins with guilt. You adored James then and when you drank too many glasses of wine after a hard week of nonstop work at St. Mungos you could admit that you still adored the boy who was becoming a wonderful man. Or at least, that’s what Remus told you in his letters.

You still had yet to see James, and for that you were both grateful and saddened. The day he showed up in need of your services you’d be ready to give him an earful for being an irresponsible git and falling off a broom after trying to show off- you stopped yourself. James was still the boy he had been at Hogwarts but you had to realize he had grown in the years you’d been apart even if you found your own growth stunted.

Yes, it seemed nowadays it would be more likely for James to be taken to St. Mungos because of his work in The Order and not because of a quidditch accident. The other three men you had maintained friendships with did their best to distract you when you found your heart aching and offered you updates when you felt detached from the love of your life.

Three years and the ache within your chest had still not vanished. It was a heavy and oppressive weight that had become a comfort in it’s own way. Constant and all encompassing, it was your new normal. It kept you shielded from going too deep into your unresolved feelings but kept them close enough to the surface that every smile felt a little forced, every laugh sounded a little too loud.

Tonight was one of the nights where the weight of your feelings became more suffocating than comfortable. The tears burned your eyes but had stopped falling long ago. You couldn’t handle the shame of crying over a taken man- one you had pushed away. Would things have been different if you’d told him despite the consequences? Surely it could be no worse than this.

“Meredith,” you croaked, sitting up from your fetal position on the couch. Your owl cocked her head to the side as you slid your feet into your slippers, tossing your blanket from around your shoulders to lay on the back of the couch. The cushions had become a bit sunken as you collapsed there after work and stayed most days when you didn’t have to stay at the hospital.

Times were bleak and that made the feelings inside you even more tumultuous. A dark and foreboding power loomed over all over wizard kind and here you were, shuffling across the wooden floors and crooning to your aging owl. You couldn’t say life was all bad, your fingers skating over the smooth and silky feathers of your longest friend. From the age eleven you had found peace in your owl’s quiet company.

Your fingers stalled and she bumped her head against fingers after gently nipping at the closest one. It was enough to pull you from the memories playing too quickly in your mind for you to feel any nostalgia. It was a dizzying sensation that left your stomach in knots.

“Get ready to send a letter to Peter?” You asked her, stroking her head as she cooed in response.

It pulled a smile from you and you bound over to your wooden desk, the cooled surface causing goosebumps to rise on your arms. It further helped to clear your mind long enough to write to your longtime friend who had become like a sibling since he had pulled you aside in the hall.

Happy with yourself for reaching out when the thoughts became overwhelming, you returned to your spot back on the couch. That familiar weight wrapped itself so tight around you that you forgot that you needed a blanket.

James was drifting in and out on the couch he had called home for the past month and a half. He could hear Peter snoring down the hall, his door cracked slightly as Peter claimed it got too hot otherwise. James had suggested opening a window instead, but no, that would be too cold.

The springs were pressed uncomfortably against his side as he rolled over, the threadbare blanket and deflated cushions of Peter’s couch not doing much to help ease him into an easy and comforting sleep. However, James doubted that he’d be doing much sleeping anyways; even if he were to be in his- Lily’s- apartment.

He couldn’t complain too much. Peter was kind enough to let him crash when he’d showed up with bloodshot eyes and clenched fists and promised it’d just be for a night. Peter was kind enough to pretend that it didn’t bother him when James took up the space he so carefully created for himself alone. Peter was kind enough to not kick James out.

And James? James was in a limbo. Two voices screamed in his head and neither seemed to be doing anything other than getting louder. He could leave, he had the money from his parents, but one voice said that Lily would take him back. The other voice said he should stay just another couple days, really think on why she’d ended things and think of what his own actions had meant.

To anyone else, James Potter must be a cheating bastard who let a secret slip while he slept peacefully and with no guilty conscience. Yet Lily knew him and James knew she understood. However, that didn’t help patch the hole in his heart and the confusion that grew every second.

Loving Lily Evans was an honor, and an honor he’d held close to his heart for the past four years. She was bright and caring and the flame that kept him warm on his coldest days. Her work with The Order was brilliant and admirable and he knew he could trust her with his life. There had never been, and never would be, anything wrong with the woman.

It had started with a furrowed brow on his face as he sat pensive and quiet in his arm chair. Lily had asked, “everything alright there, love?” and James had pasted on a smile and said “of course, always,” while holding out his arms to her. She had made herself comfortable on his lap and he’d let the melancholy made from ghosts of the past dissolve.

A day later he’d been lost in thought again, pouring the coffee until it flowed over the rim of the mug and he’d spent the last few minutes before Lily went to her part time job cleaning up spilled coffee instead of kissing her goodbye. She’d forgotten the incident but he was still trapped in the memories that had distracted him in the first place.

“I can’t read your mind, you know,” His heart, his dear, his Lily, had teased as they lay in bed together, her head heavy on his bare chest and her hair ticklish.

“Don’t think you’d want to see Sirius pulling down Peter’s trousers in third year potions anyways,”

He should have known better. Lily knew him like the back of her own hand and a simple joke would not put her off from joking. It had made him crack a smile as he thought of Y/N, the girl who had known him in his most infuriating years. His heart had skipped painfully in his chest and Lily looked to him with a concerned look.

“James, please,” she had begged with soft eyes that had him telling her his snowballing thoughts.

Once he had finished, his chest tight and his cheeks tight from spilled and dried tears, Lily had stroked his cheek with a gentleness that shocked him even then. “You’ve got unfinished business with her love, of course she’s still on your mind. Why would I ever be mad at you for missing a friend?”

Because I’ve never been sure she was just a friend.

To James, it had been a whisper in the back of his mind that had never been meant to meet the light of day. To Lily, it had been a slap across the face.

“D-did you mean to say that?” It had been a tentative question, nearly as quiet as the whispered words that James hadn’t realized had been shared.

As his voice cracked over, “Say what, Lils?” she had had her answer.

There was no screaming match, no deep betrayal. Only a lost truth found by eyes that had not been invited to see. The tears were shed when Lily was finally left in a silent apartment that felt as if it was missing something immediately. The frustrated screams came when James had stumbled through the streets numbly, still in his pajamas and his jacket hanging loose from his hand that was shoved deep in his pocket.

The first week at Peter’s he hadn’t had much to say, even when Remus and Sirius came. They didn’t know why it happened, just knew that the infamous Lily and James had met their end. The second week James had gotten up to make Peter breakfast and the weight was still there but he was growing used to it and the conflicting thoughts that were always on his mind. The third week he’d stopped writing Lily letters that he’d never send. The fourth week he’d started writing you letters instead.

Unsent were all the things that had been bouncing around James’ head that added to the dull throb that helped count the days away. I miss you. I’m furious. Why did you say goodbye. What could you not tell me. I hate you for doing this to me and Lily. I love you and realized too late.

Those very letters were bound tightly and kept shoved in Jame’s suitcase that was balanced against the far wall. Realizing it would be a night of questioning rather than sleeping he rolled off the couch with a low groan and a stretch of his back. The floor was cold against the soles of his feet and a chill traveled down his spine. Sometimes the only thing that could lull him to sleep was seeing his thoughts organized on paper.

Getting a quill ready, he was startled by the sudden and rhythmic tap of an owl’s beak agains the window that was set just above where Jame’s suit case was resting against the white walls of Peter’s apartment. What was even more startling was James wasn’t certain he wasn’t hallucinating until he opened the window with shaking fingers and Meredith flew in, circling with her natural grace before settling on a perch Peter kept beside his own owl’s.

A crisp envelope was in her beak and if he hadn’t recognized the grayish dusting of Meredith’s feathers and the golden eyes of his best friend’s owl he would have recognized the curls and loops of your handwriting. For reasons unknown, a smile found it’s home on his lips as he realized you hadn’t stopped drawing small circles above your i’s.

He approached the owl that had been to his childhood home more times than he could count and tried to take the envelope from her but was met with an indignant twist of her neck.

“Still requiring payment little miss Merry?” He asked, a giddy stirring in his stomach at the familiarity of the situation he was in as he shuffled around Peter’s kitchen for something she would like to nibble on while she rested. Finding something suitable, he returned and she happily dropped the sturdy letter into his hand.

Peter’s name and address was neatly written even if towards the end of each line the words began to slope downwards. It was something you had hated about your writing but had seemed to grow used to as you hadn’t tried to overcorrect and curve the ends up too high.

Now James Potter was a good and honest man but he had only gotten small bits of information about you from Sirius and from looking over Peter’s shoulder when he read your letters. Peter had caught on though and now took to reading in his bedroom. Remus was tightlipped as ever, claiming if James wanted to know he could send you a letter himself.

He was starved to know something, anything. So yes it was wrong, but nothing had seemed to be going right lately. What was more thing? It was a poor excuse to open Peter’s mail yet here he was, peeling off the seal with the greatest care.

Pete, Your letter began and James ran his thumb over the ink fondly.

I know you’re probably sleeping, as you should be. You know what I’m going to ask and I know it’s not doing me any favors but I need to know how he is. I’ve been good and trying to stay focused on work but I have the whole weekend to recover from my double shifts and I need something to anchor me. Otherwise I’ll write or I’ll show up where I’m not welcome and I think that would be far worse. I should’ve never said goodbye.

James’ blood rushed through his veins in anticipation, praying for a name to appear in the paper- his name. He needed something concrete yet the gears were turning and he was nearly completely convinced that you were referring to the day he had started believing that you forgiving him was an impossibility, even if he’d never truly known what he’d done to push you so far away.

Meredith chittered impatiently, wanting to be back in her familiar apartment after a fulfilling flight. “Alright, don’t get your feathers in a twist,” James hushed her and listened for Peter’s steady snoring before returning his eyes back to the letter.

If you're awake feel free to come for some cocoa and a chat.

Love, Y/N

It was all James needed to jump to his feet, slipping on his shoes before falling to his knees in front of the fireplace. He knew she was expecting Peter but it had felt like she was reaching out to him and he had so longed to be back in her arms. Hope hadn’t been something on Peter’s mind for nearly two months and even now he was hesitant to feel it but maybe you’d at least let him back into your life as a friend.

“Head home, Merry,” James commanded of the owl, giving her an approving nod as she hopped to the window before taking off silently. Then, his concentration was on poking and prodding Peter’s bricks. One was loose and kept a bag of floo powder hidden, except James couldn’t remember which one. Fifth one up and third to the right? Or was it left? His trembling hands grew impatient and he let out a long and loud grumble.

“Going to Y/N’s?” Peter coughed his greeting and James froze.

“Pete- the letter I-”

James’ apology fell into silence as his longtime friend shook his head.

“Fourth up and sixth to the right,”

James rushed to his friend with the floo powder now secure in his hand and tugged him into a quick embrace.

“Just be sure to pull her closer if she tries pushing you away,” Peter mentioned as he took a deep breath, focusing on you and thinking of the return address he’d seen on every letter.

“Thank you wormtail,”

The flames ignited the powder, growing blindingly bright. Peter blinked and the fireplace was empty.

Your fingers had grown cold even as you intertwined them together. Meredith hadn’t come back yet and the stars were beginning to vanish as the sky grew lighter even when the sun was still tucked away for another half an hour or so. You knew Peter must be sleeping and you ought to try the same but two mugs were sat on your counter in preparation just in case.

A few more stars winked at you before vanishing in the paled blue expanse of sky and your eyelids grew heavy but snapped open when a loud snap and a plume of smoke could be heard and seen in your left peripheral. You darted into a seated position and coughed after inhaling the soot.

“Pettigrew you will not be splinched for Merlin’s sake just apparate next time!”

“I’ll pass on the message,”

You gasped, another forceful set of coughs erupting as you took in more of the inky smoke that was steadily clearing out. The owner of the voice you never thought you’d hear again set everything straight and then you saw the man you never thought you’d see again.

“Sorry, by the way,” James said, his voice oddly timid as he shuffled in front of the fireplace. “forgot you hated the floo. Just thought I’d take you up on your offer off cocoa and a chat,”

Your eyes were bloodshot and burning from the smoke but now as you took James in you were certain that the tears you’d been holding back for years would fall and it would have nothing to do with the most asinine form of travel a wizard could have invented.

“That was for-”

“I know, I’ve been staying with him,”

The answer was surprising but more so was the way James’ eyes tracked your features, drinking you in as you did him. He had a medium length scruff that decorated his jawline nicely and his curls were as disheveled and dark as always. His crows feet were more defined and it added a level of maturity you seemed to find very attractive as butterflies took flight in your stomach.

“Why?” You sniffled, eyes breaking away from his first as he took a step towards you. He noticed when you curled up tighter on the couch, away from him. Nothing in the past month seemed to hurt more than that.

“Can’t I catch up with my partner in c-crime?” James asked but stumbling over his words, voice getting caught in his throat and a tear slipping free and rolling down his cheek. Suddenly, he was sinking to his knees and crawling to you, hands finding your knees and gripping tight.

Half of you wanted to apparate away and forget how it felt to be held tight by James Potter. The other half of you was crumbling into the hands of your best friend.

“Why’d you say goodbye?” He asked and you shook your head, lip caught between unforgiving teeth as you chewed harshly nearly drawing blood. “Y/N, darling, plea-”

“Dont,” You begged, arms wrapping tight around yourself as if you were trying to remember that your own embrace could be just as comforting and you didn’t need to seek comfort from James. But you wished to oh so badly.

“Don’t ask? Don’t leave? Don’t what?” Came a watery scoff. “I’m fully prepared to beg you for forgiveness but I never knew why and I think you at least owe me that,”

“What if you don’t like what I have to say?”

The question hung heavy in the air but James didn’t mind so much when your eyes finally found his and stayed put. You looked into him and he looked into you. You were scared and so was he. He was tired and so were you. You were both suffering. It could be ended if only you spoke the words you’d always kept hidden.

“I may not like what you have to say but that could never stop me from caring,” He reassured and it was the push that led you to taking the baby step you had never been able to overcome.

“Fear was the main reason,” You began, your hands searching for James’. He easily interlocked his fingers with yours and you felt a moment of panic, like you couldn’t escape the truth. However James looked into your eyes with the warmth he’d used to have and your fears were already melting. It was as if he was lending you his bravery.

“I was terrified that I didn’t mean to you what you meant to me when we were kids. I thought that the playing field had to be balanced and then convinced myself it never could be before I even tried to see it from your point of view.”

“Y/N?” James prodded as you struggled to find the right words.

“I’m trying to say- Well I- Fuck.” You growled, leaning the few inches forward before capturing Jame’s lips with your own. Despite your frustrated tone the kiss was gentle and slow. You couldn’t tell him so you needed to show him. Needed him to realize you had wanted to have petty fights with him, grow old with him, cook breakfast with him, kiss him, since you were a silly teenager and that those feelings hadn’t faded in the slightest despite the prolonged distance.

Kissing James was everything you’d wanted it to be and nothing like you’d dreamt. Never had you thought you’d get the chance nor did you think you’d be crying your eyes out. His lips were soft and you could taste the mint lip balm his mom got him for Christmas every year. James tilted his head in perfect time with yours and his hands squeezed yours affectionately however it was what brought you back to reality.

You were the first to pull away, shame filling up the cracks in your hear that had only grown wider with the kiss. “I know you have Lily- I just... You should know how I feel. And now that you know and now that I realize I truly can’t do anything about it I’ll let you go,”

James felt as if he was plunged underwater and wasn’t hearing you right. The boys hadn’t told you? You had spent all this time thinking him taken while he had been dreaming of you for months, writing you unsent letters for weeks.

“Are you daft?” He asked, hands falling away from yours and you couldn’t help the choked sob that came with another apology. “Oh, Y/N, darling, sweet girl, I-”

“No it’s okay!” You tried to say over heavy sobs. It was an odd sensation. You thought you’d finally be set free by James’ clear rejection but your chest only constricted more and with the rapidly falling tears you found you couldn’t breathe very well. “I-I know I shouldn’t have sprung this on you. I felt neglected and bitter when you found Lily and it wasn’t fair of me to push you away because of it. I want you to be happy and if it’s with her-”

“We broke up two months ago,” With the truth out there, James

“-then I want you to be-” You stopped in your tracks. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Short story is that I’ve missed you Y/N. Couldn’t get you out of my head and she knew and then I told her something I didn’t even know was true until I was saying it, but now I know it’s right. You’re not just a friend to me and I was too daft to see it. I-I love Lily and she has a special place in my life but somewhere along the way my heart chose you,”

You felt as if his words would never truly sink in. “James-” You paused, unsure of what to say, eyes now drawn to the rising sun.

“Just tell me you still want what you used to,” He interjected in the space of your silence. “Peter told me to hold you closer if you push me away and I intend to do that Y/N, I just have to know how you want me. Friend or m-more?”

The sun broke over the tips of the mountains, golden light streaming into your apartment and you turned your gaze back to James. His wide and dark eyes tugged at your heart and you found your hands back in his. You were unsuccessful in hiding your smile and James let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding in wait for your answer.

“How about we start with some cocoa and a chat?” You asked and your lips were once more pressed against James’ as he grew eager, the weight falling off of both of your shoulders leaving you lighter than you had been in years.

As you kissed James back in the comfort of the morning daylight you felt as if anything was possible.

To those who may be interested: @struggling-bee @starofthedawn @labyrinthlibrarian @wilddxchildd @nerdbirdsworld

#james potter #james x reader #james potter x reader #angst #fluff #👁👄👁 me writing to cope with emotions that relate to this 2 parter

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ruzek-halstead · 4 years ago

Note

14. Bodyguard AU & 61. Love Confession!🥰 (juke, ofc)

rules: send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and i’ll describe how i’d combine them in the same story.

alright, so here’s the background storyline: julie molina, world famous pop star. she’s on her third worldwide tour after her third number one album. she’s taking the world by storm and needs her fantastic crew by her side. luke patterson has been one of two bodyguards assigned to her since she started rising to fame.

he was only two years older than her and they got on exceptionally well. he was a constant joker, only becoming serious when it came to his job and protecting julie. she was truly one of the best people he’d ever met; he’d worked with a number of celebrities before, and none compared to julie. she was so down to earth, kind and genuinely a good person - he knew it was unprofessional but his attachment grew.

by their third tour together, they were more friends than anything. luke sometimes stayed longer than he needed to and julie didn’t say a word about it. he had his own space on the second tour bus, but he found himself spending more and more time in julie’s tour bus. he stayed as she worked on her next album, watching her passionately dive into writing new songs.

he wasn’t sure when it happened, but somewhere between their three years of knowing each other, months upon months of spending every waking moment together, luke fell in love. it was inappropriate at best, but he didn’t think his feelings affected his job; if anything, he felt even more motivated.

but then he started noticing things, like the way julie’s eyes lingered on him sometimes. her smile was softer and her gaze grew shy overtime. sometimes she hit him with flirty comments, other times she avoided him like the plague. he was having a hard time pinning her down, but he was starting to get the impression that maybe his feelings weren’t completely one-sided.

every time he tried to have that conversation with julie, she spotted it from a mile away and did everything in her power to avoid it. he tried to be as patient as possible, but truth be told, he was everything but patient.

one night, after a show in barcelona, luke congratulated her with a hug, as per their usual. she melted into his embrace, but when it got a tad too intimate for her, she pulled away rigidly. she refused to meet his gaze and went immediately to her dressing room to change. luke felt awkward and uncomfortable, but he played it off as best he could. when it was time to lead julie to her tour bus, luke prepared for the swarm of fans and paparazzi outside. as he tried to clear a path, julie attempted to move past him a number of times, almost as if she wanted to ditch him completely. he grunted angrily, as he continuously had to push through people to reach her.

when she zoomed into her tour bus, he stormed in right after her.

“what the hell was that?” julie ignored him which only infuriated him more. luke demanded she tell him what was going on because she had been acting weird around him for ages now.

julie knew it was childish but she continued on ignoring him. she had bottled up her feelings and pushed them down time and time again, to the point where she could hardly even look at luke because she would explode. it wasn’t his fault, but her defence mechanism was to push him away.

luke suddenly has an epiphany. this wasn’t going to work. he was in love with her, she couldn’t even stand to be around him anymore and he couldn’t do this anymore. it broke his heart to realize it, even more so when he started telling her.

“i’m sorry julie, but i can’t do this anymore. it’s just not working for me.” at her confused glance, he continued. “i’m compromised. i’m literally in love with you and i clearly can’t protect you anymore. you can’t even look at me.”

julie felt her heart breaking in her chest. he looked so broken, so upset. he finally admitted what she wasn’t able to. he was much braver than her; he was stepping down from his job because it was better for both of them. but it wasn’t. it was time for julie to be the brave one now.

he looked like he was ready to leave, so before he got the chance, julie launched herself in his arms. her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, legs locked around his waist. it was the closest they’d been in weeks, the most intimate they’d been ever.

“don’t leave me,” was all she was able to say.

luke held her close, as tightly as he possibly could. his face was buried in her curls and he sighed in contentment. he was so happy in this moment, but his next words broke his heart. “i don’t think i can stay. not when i feel the way i do.”

julie pulled back to look into his eyes, her own shimmering with tears. “what if i felt the same way?”

luke forgot how to breathe. there were no words in his brain, nothing he could say in this absolutely perfect moment. he didn’t need to say anything though because julie wasn’t finished.

“i’m in love with you too. please don’t leave.”

julie’s head found its way to luke’s neck. she couldn’t let him go; she was too scared he would leave.

“i’m not going anywhere, julie.”

I AM SCREAMING I LOVED THIS SO MUCH. it literally started with ‘how i would write’ then transformed into full on writing bc i loved it so much. i actually want to write a full, fledged out version of this. thoughts?????

#juke #juke prompts #jatp #juke fics #julie and the phantoms

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jungshook69 · 4 years ago

Text

Love is a myth :: 03

DISCLAIMER: This doesn’t represent the members’ actions or the army’s actions in any manner it’s pure fiction. This is an original work, do not copy. The taglist is open if you want. Taglist is now closed.

WORD COUNT: 4.3K words

MAIN PAIRING: musician! Yoongi X waitress! female reader

SIDE PAIRING/S: Jungkook X female reader ; Taehyung X female reader

GENRE: FWB! au ; Strangers to lovers! au

WARNINGS: Implied smut (Forgive me cuz I suck at writing it, no puns intended) ; Mentions of alcohol and smoking (I do not condone smoking) ; Profanity ; Mentions of infidelity ; Heavy angst ; Self loathing (Namjoon’s about to wack me in the head with his slipper) ; I apologize in advance if there’s any spelling errors.

SUMMARY: "You covered your bare form with the silk sheets beneath you, as you watched him walk out your door without a word." // "Love is a myth. All that existed between you two was pure lust." // "The last rule was if anyone of the two of you caught feelings for the other, the deal would be off."

SERIES MASTERLIST: Trailer » Meet the cast » Chapter #1 » Chapter #2 » Chapter #3 » Chapter #4

STATUS: Complete

It was a pleasant morning, and you thought it couldn’t go any better. At least that’s what you thought, before your luck was inevitably snatched away from you.

You heard a gruff voice clear their throat, in close proximity to you, before they spoke up, “Y-Y/N?”

You looked up through your round lenses, and your jaw dropped open at the sight. Your eyes roamed the man’s face, unwilling to blink. It took you a nice long 10 seconds, to find your voice, which still came out small and slightly wavered, “J-Jungkook?”

“Hi…” his soothing voice managed to mutter, his shocked expression mirroring your own.

“Long time no see…” you say with a heavy breath.

You observed his figure. His beautiful doe eyes were shining with the same sparkle as they did back when you both were lovers. His face had gone from being a bit boyish, or babyish as you liked to call it, to a bit more structured. His jaw had sharpened, although there were no visible wrinkles lining his face, except for some adorable smile lines beside his crescent eyes. His hair was far different from what is was back then. You used to call him coconut head, in owe to his soft brown hair that lay across his forehead. But now his hair was much longer, and a dark shade of black, lengthy enough to be easily pulled back into a man bun. His shoulders were broader and his body looked much more buff, and his arms were fairly big as compared to a few years ago. He was adorned in black trousers and a white button down, with the top 2 buttons undone, giving you a slight peak at the tattoo you had grown to love, on his right collarbone.

“Do you mind if I take a seat beside you?” his melodious voice asked softly, contrary to his rough exterior.

“Y-yeah sure…” you said, shutting your journal close and making room for him on the small park bench.

You lay your hands across your lap, unsure of what to say next. But he saved you the pain and spoke up first, “How have you been?”

“Good… you?”

“Great…” he said his gaze fixed on the playground.

“Still married?” you ask. You want to mentally slap yourself for letting such a question slip, before he interrupts your thoughts.

“Yes… you see her?” he says pointing to the playground. Your eyes search for a female, perhaps the same height as Jungkook, but your eyes widen at what he says next, “You see that small girl with pigtails on the swing?”

“Y-Yeah…” you manage to speak.

“Her name is Hana, she’s my daughter.” He says letting out a deep breath.

“O-Oh…” you didn’t know why you were surprised. He was married. It had been 6 years. Of course he had a child. You watched as the small girl giggled, as a woman with straight platinum blonde hair, a smile on her lips, stood behind the swing and pushed the little girl back and forth.

“And that’s my wife… Sana.”

“Wow… you got a whole family… nice…” you cringe at the words that left your mouth. You felt a twinge of envy. How did everyone around you have their life so put together? Were you the only one who would never settle down with a special someone? Were you only made to work and never love?

“Not the family I envisioned, but none the less, a happy family.” He whispered to himself. “So… you seeing someone?” he asks.

“Not at the moment no…” you speak, ashamed of your toxic lust-induced lifestyle.

You share a moment of silence, both of you keeping your eyes fixed on the playground. “Y-You still where that?” Jungkook spoke up.

“Huh?” you looked up to see him pointing at your fingers which were unconsciously playing with the band of your silver ring. “O-Oh yeah… umm… just— yeah I wear it… it looks cool…” you cringe in disgust at your word vomit, knowing he wouldn’t buy it.

But he knew better, and didn’t question it further. You laid motionless as you tried to keep your emotions at bay. You were mad at him. Infuriated even. He left you in the dust. But at the same time, you loved him dearly. He was the only one you could trust in this cruel world. He was the only real thing that happened to your young naïve 16 year old self.

You immediately froze in your spot when you felt a warm touch of skin on the back of your hand. You looked down to see Jungkook’s tattooed right hand laying over your hand, which was on your lap.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I’m sorry for doing what I did and hurting you.”

Your eyes were glossy, tears threatening to overflow, as you fixed your gaze on the woman and the small girl in her arms, as they walked into the neighboring convenience store.

“We weren’t meant to be…” was all you could muster out.

“We were meant to be… I was a coward.” He says, his hand not leaving yours.

“Don’t blame yourself. It was my fault, I pushed it too far, by planning to run away.” You try sounding cold and stern, but it comes out as a whimper.

“The people were right…” he says, his finger absent-mindedly playing with the ring on your finger. “…the timing was wrong.”

You control your rapid heartbeat as you feel a tear slip out from your right eye, staining your cheek, as the drop slid down the length of your face. You hear the loud piercing sound of his ringtone, before he picks up the call and puts the phone up to his ear, his hand never leaving yours. You hear the loud voice on the other end.

“Baby, I got the diapers, I didn’t see you anywhere. Will you come to our car in the parking lot?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”

“Okay bye baby!”

“Bye.”

You here the beep of the phone call hanging up as you feel his figure shift next to you. You gasp as his hand tightens his grip on yours. You swear your heart stops when you feel his other hand turns your shoulder to face him. This is the first time you’ve looked straight into his eyes, in the last 6 years. He looks at you with the same warmth and guilt, as his large hands clasp your tiny ones.

“I missed you.” He huffs out.

“I missed you too. But you have a family to get back to.” You sigh sadly.

“I hope we meet again Y/N.”

“I don’t.” you mutter out too low for him to hear. It was too painful even thinking about seeing him again.

He stands up, his figure looming over yours, before you decide to do the same. He then leans in and wraps his arms around your waist, in an all-too-familiar manner, which breaks the last wall you’ve been holding up. You feel his breath skim the skin on your neck, sending goosebumps down your spine. You feel his warm cheeks brush against your collarbones. You try to hold yourself back from surrendering and dropping yourself in his strong arms right then and there. He slowly backs away from you before you could do so, “Bye Y/N…” he says giving you a sad smile.

You’re unable to form words, as your hands feel cold, needy to feel his warmth again. You watch his retreating figure, until he disappears behind the rows and rows of cars. You slam your journal into your sling and run back home as fast as your feet can carry you. You promised yourself, you would never let another man get to you. You’d never let another man, make you cry for him again. But you never expected the same man from your past, to break you a second time.

The first 10 minutes after you reached home, you just blankly started at the white wall in front of you. The next 20 minutes were spent with you cleaning up the mess after you broke a glass plate in anger. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You’d never been so devastated in the last 6 years. You’d learnt to control your emotions, and to not take love seriously. But when a certain someone had walked into your life for a mere 20 minutes, all of that had gone down the drain. You felt helpless. You felt powerless. How could a man have such an effect on you?

You were on the ground sweeping a few remnant glass shards, when you heard a soft knock on the door. You opened the door to reveal a smiling Yoongi, a rare sight you would’ve teased him for, if it weren’t for the horrible morning you’d had. His smile immediately dropped on seeing your red eyes, concern washing over his features, “You okay?”

“Yeah” you mutter out uninterested, walking back into your apartment. You watched him drop his phone and keys onto your shoe stand, as he took off his beanie placing it down, ruffling his soft hair.

“I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to get an early dinner together, some friends from my college are meeting up. What would you like? Maybe ramen, ooo how about gimb—”

“You can go without me, I’m not feeling too well…” you say trying to stop your voice from cracking.

“You sure?” he asks again.

“Yeah…” you say louder than you intended to speak.

“O-Oh… ummm okay…” Yoongi says before you here the jingle of his car keys and the click of your front door. Yoongi wasn’t one to pressure people into doing things. He liked giving people space. As soon as he left, you let your tears flow. They were unstoppable. You were still wailing, as your form dropped to the ground, even though there weren’t enough tears to flow out.

It was 9 PM. Your eyes were puffy and your sinuses hurt from crying for the past 2 hours. Your head was throbbing and your empty bedroom was filled with the sounds of your sniffles. That was before there was a loud knock on your door.

You slipped out of your bed, still dressed in your pajamas, as you made your way to the door. You peeped through the hole and saw Yoongi’s form leaning against the door frame. You opened the door and made sure to turn around immediately in a feeble attempt to hide your mess of a face.

“Hey sorry to disturb I left my beanie here.” He said picking it up. His eyes narrowed as you walked back towards your bedroom. “You can close the door on the way out.” You say, failing to contain a crack in your voice.

Yoongi notices and closes the door, with him still inside. “Y/N, seriously what’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing, I just have a cold…” you sigh, your back facing him.

You hear his consequent footsteps getting closer as his hand lands on your shoulder, whipping you around. His eyes widen, as he sees your puffy red eyes, and distraught face stained with dried tears.

“A cold huh?” he says his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah…” you say softly, sniffling.

“What’s going on Y/N?” he says, his tone serious.

“Why do you care? You’re my fuck buddy, not my counselor!”

“I’m your friend, before any of that.” He says sternly, before he grabs your petite withering form in his strong arms for a tight hug. Your face collides with his firm chest and before you can overthink it, you wrap your arms around his waist, nuzzling your face closer into his warm neck. His hand threads through your hair as he whispers, “It’s okay I’m here…”

You woke up to the sound of a phone ringing off the hook. You were quick to realize that it wasn’t your ringtone. Your eyes fluttered open as you realized the position you had slept in. Your arm remained draped over Yoongi’s chest, and you were snuggled into the crook of his arm. You were leaning into him, while he had slept partially upright on your couch. Your legs were covered by a blanket, while Yoongi’s feet were propped up on the coffee table.

It all came back to you. How you had cried onto his shoulder for the umpteenth time that night. How he had cuddled your shivering form and insisted to stay with you, afraid of leaving you alone. You carefully let go of his sleeping form, trying very hard not to wake him up. You reached over to see a phone call from an unknown number, and put his phone on silent. You checked to make sure he hadn’t woken up. You got up and pushed your hair into a neat ponytail. You blinked hard to get the remnant sleep out of your pupils, as you tried to decipher everything that happened yesterday. Yoongi had stayed over with you… why? It went against the rule you’d made in your agreement. You weren’t complaining though because you needed someone last night. And you were more than glad that it was Yoongi. You just didn’t take him to be the type to break the ‘cuddling’ rule.

You cleared your mind of all these thoughts, brushed your teeth and took a much-needed shower. By the time you were out of the shower, in your work clothes, you found Yoongi awake, sitting upright on the couch, his head hung low, hands cupping the back of his neck. You slowly walked towards the back of the couch and laid your hands on his shoulders, your thumbs extending to press into the back of his neck. He visibly flinched, not expecting your presence, but soon relaxed under your touch.

“I’m sorry, your neck must be hurting because of the uncomfortable position you slept in last night…” you say, with a guilt-ridden voice.

“No it’s okay…” he hummed out.

You make your way around the couch and sit next to him. Confrontation. It was the solution to every problem. “Seriously, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have forced you to stay last nigh—”

“I stayed… because I wanted to stay.” He says, rubbing his eyes. “What’s the time?”

“O-Oh… it’s 10 am.”

“Don’t you have to leave for work in 10 minutes?”

“We have to leave for work.” You say chuckling.

“O-Oh… I was actually thinking of not coming in today… ya know… my back hurts and stuff…”

You were suspicious of his stuttering but decided that you tortured him enough, and just let it slide. “Well I have to leave, you can take a shower if you want, you already know where it is, and please close the door when you leave, okay?” you say grabbing your purse and your coat.

“Yeah sure… hey Y/N?” he says.

You stop in front of the door.

“Are you okay?” he says sincerely.

“Yeah I am, thank you Yoongi…” you smile and leave for work.

While you were in your own little bubble, occupied at work, Yoongi, having showered and carefully locked up your apartment, was headed to a certain someone’s humble abode, on his day off. He stood before the wooden door, as he knocked, waiting for his doom residing on the other side of the door. The door opened to reveal a familiar female, long pink hair pulled into space buns, her lips chewing on a pencil.

“Yoongi… didn’t expect to see you back here after a month… come in…”

“Actually I’m gonna make it quick” Yoongi says rubbing his palms together. “Where is Maria?”

“Oh she actually had to turn up at work, they were understaffed today…” her pink-haired roommate said.

“Oh okay thanks for your help.” He says leaving the doorstep, headed back to the restaurant. He walked in, and his eyes immediately searched for you. You were nowhere to be seen so he assumed that you were probably back in the kitchen. Then his eyes searched for a female with a short black bob, in uniform and spotted her at a table, close to the washroom. He walked up to her and tapped her shoulder.

“Oh Yoongi, hey…” Maria said, surprised to see him.

“Yeah hey, can we talk?”

She smirked at his question, assuming that wanting to “talk” was code for a hook up. She latched onto his collar and pulled him discretely towards the washroom. Before Yoongi could protest she slammed him against the empty washroom walls.

Yoongi never got to say, what he wanted to, what he had gone all the way to her apartment for. His mouth was clasped shut when Maria’s heavily-glossed lips landed on his own. He struggled to push her off, but before he could pry her off of him, he heard the sound of a toilet flushing, and a washroom stall door creaking open. He finally pushed Maria away and met your eyes, widened in shock.

You stood there, horrified, as you watched Maria smirking at you, an eyebrow raised in a challenging manner. You looked over to see Yoongi panting, against the wall, his lips swollen and smeared with Maria’s red lipstick. You held your whimpers in, and merely walked, no more like rushed out of the humiliating scene.

You walked out the back kitchen door and took in a deep breath. You calmed yourself down and did not allow any tears to flow. He was kissing her. So what? You were no one to decide who he kisses, much less sleeps with! You both had mutually decided upon staying anonymous about your personal affairs. Then why did it hurt? Why did it hurt to watch another woman lunge herself at that man? Why?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Maya’s voice, “Hey ummm… the customers are starting to line up, we need your help.”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” You respond facing away from her.

“Okay…”

Back in the washroom Yoongi watched you leave, his mind in utter chaos. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Yoongi asks in frustration, turning to Maria.

“You were the one who wanted to ‘talk’.” She says scoffing.

“Yeah I wanted to ‘talk’, literally talk.”

“Don’t lie to yourself Yoongi. We’re both hot and we both obviously have a lot of sexual tension between us. What would it take for you to let go off her puny ass for once and give us another try?”

“I already told you! When I slept with you a month ago, it was a mistake! We were both shit drunk!”

“What does she have that I don’t?”

“She has some god damn respect and dignity. She doesn’t just throw herself at me, when I say no. No means no. At least she respects my decision.”

“Jeez what happened to you Yoongles? You were never like this… like a lost puppy following around that bitch Y/N.”

“Don’t you dare call me Yoongles.” He says, his tone dead serious. “And look in the mirror when you call Y/N that.”

“You’re just as fucked up as she is.” She says scoffing.

“Just stay away from me. I’m never gonna come back to you and sleep with you. Give up already and find someone else to latch onto.” With that Yoongi leaves the washroom and exits the restaurant, feeling an unhealthy amount of guilt in his heart.

When you got absorbed into work, you couldn’t care less about Yoongi’s absence. But your eyes did drift over to the young gentlemen who was playing in Yoongi’s place today, and everytime you looked over, your eyes would drop down in disappointment of the person that met your eyes. Maria pretended like nothing happened and you went along with it. Confronting her would lead nowhere sensible.

Soon it was night time, well more like early morning time, and you were walking down the dark midnight streets, Jackie and Mark by your side. You had all decided to walk to a bar down the street and have a few drinks before turning in for the night. You needed to drown your misery in shots, and were more than happy to receive an invitation to accompany your friends.

“Y/N?” Jackie spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t be mad…”

“Oh no, what did you do?”

“I observed that you sorta looked sad today. And I wanted to cheer you up…”

“Oh no…”

“I’m afraid to say it, but yes… I kinda reached out to a good friend of Mark’s and set you up on a blind date for tomorrow night.” She finishes.

“What?!” you exclaim.

“I’m sorry okay, but I thought you needed to brighten up a bit…”

“First of all what were you thinking, setting me up on a work night? It’s Tuesday tomorrow for Christ’s sake!”

“It’s the only time he was free! He has a busy schedule okay?” Mark defends, looking up from his phone screen.

“Ohh Mr. businessman is busy. I hate boring people, I’ll pass.” You say rolling your eyes.

“He’s a model… wait for it… for Gucci.” Jackie says, eyes shining.

“Keep talking…” you said, suddenly interested.

“His name is Taehyung. Age 24, same as yours. Aspiring to become an actor. Currently a model for Gucci. Also… he’s a god damn work of art.” Jackie says.

“I should be jealous, but I can’t lie, he’s too pretty to be human.” Mark says pitching in.

“Hmm…” you quietly think to yourself.

“Please, just try it out once? Get out there, have some fun!” Jackie pleads.

“Why the fuck not? YOLO right?” you say chuckling, heading to the bar, to drown all your obsessive thoughts.

Unlike waking up to your neighbor’s baby screaming loud enough to summon Satan like always, you wake up to a throbbing in your forehead. Your eyes scan your surroundings and finally focus on the clock on your wall. 11 am! You had to be at work in 15 minutes. You ran around your apartment, your brush in your mouth, one hand through the sleeve of your white button down, the other searching your dresser for your hairbrush.

You were at work. Even though you were 15 minutes late, and looked as though you had just survived a hurricane, you were still present, and that’s what mattered. Luckily, Mark had taken care of inventory for you, so that left you with enough time to polish yourself in the restaurant washroom before the doors opened for business. The washroom brought back unwanted memories from a day ago, but you ignored those, and focused on fixing yourself up, trying to make yourself presentable enough to match the class of the restaurant.

You were in your pajamas, happier than ever, watching a really good kdrama, ‘Its okay not to be okay’, definitely recommend 10 outta 10. Your work shift had ended early. You all had gotten a call from the owner and manager Kim Seokjin, that there was gonna be an extermination. You couldn’t be happier as you relaxed into the comfort of your couch. It hadn’t been 3 minutes into the new episode, when someone knocked on your door. You groaned in irritation.

“Just as it was about to get good.” You huffed out and approached the door.

You opened the door to a rather dim looking Yoongi. “Oh hi… ummm… wassup? Were the only words you could form.

“Can we talk?” Yoongi asks rubbing the back of his neck.

“Sure come in…” you say stepping back and closing the door behind him.

“I’ll get straight to the point…” Yoongi sighs. “What you saw, it wasn’t what you think happened.”

“What’re you talking about?” you asked chuckling nervously.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about Y/N.”

“Oh that… yeah right…”

“Listen, I just want to clarify that yes I did sleep with Maria a month ago, back when we never used to talk, when we used to ignore each other 24/7. But I haven’t slept with her since. What you witnessed today was me telling her to back off, but she kissed me without my consent, and you happened to walk in at a bad time.”

You let out a huge sigh and folded your arms. “And why’re you telling me this?”

Yoongi’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. To that, you poke again, “I don’t control who you sleep with or who you choose to date Yoongi. We had a deal. We don’t get involved in each other��s personal lives.”

“Well I’m sorry if I seemed to be ‘involved in your personal life’ after we told each other something that I thought was personal to both of us.” He speaks out, in irritation.

You looked down at your ring and remember how you had told him about your past. You remembered how you both had shared a moment, sitting at the piano, which reminded you of the fact that he had also shared his past with you. But you were scared, terrified even. You were scared to let someone close to your heart again, afraid of being left alone again. You were frightened that someone would finally get through the tough walls you’d put up around yourself, and steal your fragile heart, only to break it into a million pieces again. The pain was too much.

“Well maybe we shouldn’t have shared that with each other!” you yell out without thinking twice.

You heard nothing but silence on Yoongi’s end. It took a minute before he spoke up, “So you regret it huh?” his voice alarmingly calm.

“I-I- I don’t know…” you say, unsure guilt settling in your heart.

“Well that just about explains every fucking doubt I’ve been having about this relationship.”

“That’s not wha—” you protest.

“Save it.” He said sternly. “I made a mistake. I tried to get us to be friends. We should go back to our old ways. Just text each other when we’re needy, and ignore each other at all other times. Got it. If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get.” He storms out of the apartment, slamming the door with a loud bang on the way out.

You felt a tremendous guilt envelope your heart. You didn’t want things to go the way they did just now. He was never the issue. It was you. You were the coward who had commitment issues. And you didn’t want him to waste his time trying to get you to open up. This was the only way. You were never suited for love. It was always lust.

«Previous :: Masterlist :: Next»

A/N: Don’t forget to follow @jungshook69 for more content:) You can check out more works of mine here. Have a great day:)

TAGLIST: @kookieebangtan

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originalwinnercheesecake · 4 years ago

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Chain of Iron Theories on the Killer’s 5 victims

tinSo we know that the chain of Iron will have a mysterious killer who will kill 5 shadowhunters. Here are my theories on who will die.

1.) Maurice Bridgestock

Lets start with the obvious first, of course this man will be killed. He is Inquisitor and that is a powerful yet cursed position, take it and you will die a horrible death. I am hoping he dies pretty early, because I have a feeling until then he will be gunning for the Fairchild family. Remember he and his wife were the ones who really wanted Charles and Ariadne to marry. Charles and Ariadne were originally friends, who both figured that being forced into a hetro marriage was inevitable and that they could both do worse. Charlotte and Henry gave there blessing because they thought Charles and Ariadne were actually in love. Once Charles told this parents that he and Ariadne weren’t they immediately gave him permission to break the engagement and gave their blessing for him to marry someone else (who he doesn’t love either, Oh poor messed up fairchild family). This infuriated Bridgestock. Charles and Charlotte know to avoid him unless it is for official business, done in public, with witnesses. Does Matthew? Chapter 4 is called “The King is Dead”; so maybe the Inquisitor is the “King” listed. The next half of that phrase is “Long live the King” symbolizing the transition of power, so that would mean choosing a new Inquisitor. The most obvious ones to get the promotion is one of the TID dad’s given how close they are with Charlotte and the sway her vote would give. According to the cards it looks like she gives the position to Will (cough Gideon would have been a way better choice cough), we will see how that goes.

2.) One of the Wentworth’s

The Wentworth’s will have importance in the COI.They have been referenced and set up like the Lightwood’s in CWA. We know at least 3 of their names, we know that Martin Wentworth is kind of a thorn in Will and Gabriel’s side. We know that Piers and Rosamund have a... tense relationship with our mains, but do have their own friends and seem close to each other. Honestly with how much this family is mentioned/established I was thinking for a while that it would be just like the Lightwoods in CWP. Like maybe Piers was Eugenia’s ex boyfriend, maybe he had wanted to marry her but bad stuff was happening at home, his dad keeping secrets, and he couldn’t get blessings. Then that snip-bit at the party came out and I read about Eugenia being done with suitors and Piers hitting on Catherine. Piers still may be Eugenia’s ex, and he may trashed her rep and then moved on to courting his sister’s best friend. If so and he dies I will not miss him.

I would say Rosamund is pretty safe. She has a fiance now, and is planing her wedding. Wedding are actually great places for interactions and drama. Rosamund is good friends with Ariadne. Maybe Ariadne will try to bring Anna to the wedding, or maybe Ariadne will have Eugenia ask Anna to accompany her to the wedding, because Anna is less likely to say no to that, and then use that as a chance to “win her back.”

3.) At Least One of The Carstairs Parents

Risa Included. We all care about this family, we all wish their troubles could be over, and tat things and the next two books could be rainbows and sunshine for them. And we all know that will not happen. Terrible things will befall London. Elias is unbalanced from PTSD and weak from detoxing after years of addiction, Sona is weak from a difficult pregnancy/ recent childbirth, Risa is a mundane and lacks the ability to kill demons. They don’t have a lot of friends, all three are old. It is not fair and I hope whoever dies is at least given a good death.

4.) Cecily Lightwood Nee Herondale

I hope I am wrong, please let me be wrong. The family tree and CWP2 epilogue say that she will live through this, but those were written 7 years ago and are no longer accurate. The Second book always has one tragedy that will emotionally destroy us and leave us crying till the third comes out. It is unlikely that all The TID gang will live through another series. Other people have been guessing Gideon, but his branch already lost Barbara in COG2. In a book with so many nuclear families why kill from the same one twice? No it won’t be Gideon. After careful analysis I have determined Cecily is the most likely of the one to die.

First off Cecily didn’t come into TID until the final book and she was mostly squeezed in as a secondary character. That means that CC put less time and development into her and while she probably likes her, is maybe less attached to her. Secondly Cecily is some one very important to Both Will and Gabriel, two people Tatiana hates more than anyone in the world. She also played a key role in Killing the Lightworm, she caused it to wound itself to were Gabriel was able to kill it. For Tatiana Cecily would be three birds with one stone. Another reason she might die is Cecily is the only one of The TID characters who I cannot find any information on what her job/role in the clave is. Everyone else has a job listed, is seen investigating or talking at meetings, Cecily is just a mother, okay the best of the TSC mom’s. But having to take so much time off shadowhunting to raise her children might have put her out of practice, and having such a strong bond with her children, nieces, and nephews would make it all the more heart breaking if she died. One final reason is that unlike her Gabriel does have an overall arch. He idolized a fantasy of who his father was, had that come crashing down, then wanted to become someone different. His wife dying would put Gabriel just were Benedict was when Barbara Lightwood the first died: A single father with three kids, one of whom is coincidentally about the same age as Gabriel was when he lost his mother.

I love Cecily and writing this has made me very say (Please let me be wrong about her dying) but moving on...

5.) Tatiana Blackthorn Nee Lightwood

She will die. Tatiana probably joined Belial willingly, she probably does not see it, but Belial is not her ally. The truth is she is just as much Belial’s pawn as anyone he has tricked. When he is done using her and no longer has any use for her, he will kill her to keep her quiet. She will probably die last, her blood is Jesse’s and can be used as a sacrifice. She dedicated her life to resurrecting her son so she could have him back, and she will die with the knowledge that she has doomed him to Belial’s plans.

Bonus 6.) Charles Fairchild

Charles will not die. I originally I thought he might, but he is actually necessary as a foil/parallel to Matthew. Two brothers who grew up in the same family, yet have personalities and struggles that are literally flip sides of the same coin. Cassandra Clare has said she is planning on “developing” their relationship. She has also said Charles will be away for a lot of the book. So that does not leave a lot of space for this development in COI, and Charles has to make it until COT. I believe that he will disappear. No one will have any idea were he went or why, His parents will send out a search, while that is taking place Charlotte task Matthew with assisting her the way Charles usually does. Matthew will hate it. He will hate the piles of work and stuffy meetings; he will hate having less time to see his friends; and especially the cranky, foul mouthed, horrible politicians he has to deal with instead. As time goes by and the Killer at large Charlotte will become more desperate to find her older son. When she cannot find him her and Henry will start to fear the worst and cry over it at home.

Matthew will eventually start looking into his brothers disappearance, not because he misses him, but their parents are miserable and Matthew is tired of having to do Charles chores. He might learn Charles and Alastair were “good friends” before and try to force information out of Alastair, Que to him learning one of his brothers secrets. While I do think Matthew will be the one to find Charles I do not think it will be until the end of COI or early COT, when Matthews life has morphed into a much bigger mess than it was before. I also do not think Charles will be in the same... way as he was before his disappearance. There will be a whole new list of issues when the brothers meet again.

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ofstoriesandstardust · 4 years ago

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Champagne Problems-Diego Hargreeves

a/n: WHO’S READY FOR THE ANGST?! here we go lol. i’ve never written a song-inspired fic but here we are. this part 1 of of my 2 valentine’s day fics. the other is a cute luther fic and hopefully I’ll be able to write more umbrella academy so... NO I HAVE NOT FINISHED SEASON 2 DON’T COME FOR ME. i’m also totally willing to write a second part to this, especially after i hurt myself so bad so if it’s something you’re interested in, please let me know. listening to champagne problems during this is probably a good idea. this also exists minorly in my law and order: special victims unit x the umbrella academy universe but it’s really only slight mentions of ADA work, so no real connection.

masterlist | prompt list

warnings: ANGST, Hazel, Agnes, and Eudora live and Ben comes back to life because I said so, post-Texas apocalypse but my own storyline because I haven’t finished season 2 yet, my own thoughts and feeling in the form of the main character, Ben’s secretly a history nerd, Tumblr fucked with my spacing and I’m salty

word count: 3,064 (including song lyrics)

You booked the night train for a reason

So you could sit there in this hurt

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers

You're not sure which is worse

You always opted to take the cases that kept you up the latest at night, working the hardest to get victims justice. You refused to sleep at night until you knew you’d be able to put a killer or rapist away the next day. Which, in turn, meant that there’d often be nights a detective would call in need of a warrant, already knowing you’d still be awake. However, there would be nights, weeks, even, where it was a small case or no cases at all. Those were the days you’d busy yourself in the office until you had no other reason to be there, finding the later you took the subway home, the fewer people there would be. Usually, the quiet of the night calmed you and gave you time to reflect. Sometimes though, your mind would wander to him.

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

Left you out there standing

Crestfallen on the landing

Champagne problems

Diego had taken you on a drive, bringing you to the city of Manhattan. You always spoke of your love of the city, missing your time spent there while in law school. The two of you had gone for a walk and picnic through Central Park and as the sun was beginning to set, leaving the New York sky a dusty pink, he grabbed your hand as you talked about your favorite memory at the Chinese place just down the road. You paused, looking up at him, seeing the love for swimming within his features. After that night, you had grown to hate the sight of Central Park and avoided it by all means necessary. Your team had never been able to figure out why.

Your mom's ring in your pocket

My picture in your wallet

Although never actually married to Reginald, and despite the fact that she was an AI, Grace had a wedding band she kept tucked away. When Diego had introduced you to Grace, he knew that you would be the one he’d marry. You were so kind to the AI, not batting an eyelash at her charging port or her sometimes distant nature. She was Diego’s mom by all accounts, and he’d be damned if he was going to live the rest of his life with a girl who didn’t respect his mother. Despite Diego’s fear, you and the AI got on splendidly and at the end of the night, when you were talking to Pogo, Grace brought the boy upstairs and slipped him the small band. She smiled at him and Diego had to restrain himself from crushing the sweet women in a hug. “Just in case.” she had said.

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

Champagne problems

Diego had tried from the very beginning to be honest with you that he came with a lot of issues. Building trust had been difficult and a fragile process. You had been patient and kind and understanding and everything he was certain he didn’t deserve. Diego slowly learned to let his walls and heart open to you and by the end of it, Diego believed that you had melted his heart of ice and worked your way into his life and family. Until you turned away, dropping the ice heart, shattering it.

You told your family for a reason

You couldn't keep it in

When you and Diego had first met, it had been purely by accident. You were just moving into the apartment across the hall from Vanya’s and he had come barreling down the stairs after Five. After knocking you and one too many boxes to the ground, Diego profusely apologized, concerned eyes flitting across you to make sure that you indeed weren’t hurt. He had offered to help you finish moving your belongings, wanting a few more minutes with the pretty girl on the stairs. You agreed and asked if he would be interested in grabbing dinner with you that night since you didn’t know anywhere in town. He agreed and the two of you had always considered that your unofficial first date. As the two of you grew closer and Diego’s family became interested in the mysterious ADA with whom he spent all his time, the more determined Diego became to shelter you from them. His family came with a lot of baggage, a lot of trouble, and you had enough just trying to put the bad guys away. But as he became more certain he wanted you in his life for a long time, the more he knew he wanted to tell his siblings. After the apocalypse, he and his siblings had tried to repair the broken bridges and had been successful for the most part. So, one night, at family dinner, he looked around at his siblings, laughing at some witty comment Five had made, and he blurted it out before he could stop himself. The siblings went quiet, looking over at him. You had just met Grace a few days ago, and he was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. “I think I’m going to marry her.”

Your sister splashed out on the bottle

Now no one's celebrating

Allison had been the most excited, wanting to plan an elaborate engagement scheme, wanted to help him pick out the ring. He let her too, unsure of really what to do, and was happy to see her so excited about something. She had convinced Diego to introduce you to her and Vanya, wanting to get to know you, to accurately help Diego (and of course to get to know her future sister-in-law, with whom she was determined to be best friends). As the date that they had settled on drew nearer, she bought an expensive bottle of champagne, stating that only the finest would do for her brother’s engagement. Diego rolled his eyes, but deep down he appreciated that she cared about him this much to help him. When Diego returned to the Academy that night, unannounced and much later than originally intended, Allison immediately knew something was wrong. The siblings looked around at each other, in shock and disbelief. No one had really thought you’d say no.

Dom Pérignon, you brought it

No crowd of friends applauded

You weren’t sure why Diego brought the bottle of champagne with him, and he wasn’t sure either, both knowing you didn’t drink. As you stared at him, and he stared at you, hurt flickering across the other’s face, all Diego could focus on was the fact that he brought that stupid bottle of champagne. Why had he listened to Allison, or Vanya, or any of the Hargreeves for that matter? Diego was not meant to get a happy ending, he was sure of it. And he had gone and tempted fate and had gotten the heart-breaking answer he knew all along.

Your hometown skeptics called it

Champagne problems

The Hargreeves had taken Diego out to Griddy’s that night, not sure what else to do with him. Hazel and Agnes looked at him, pity in their eyes. The police chief of the town was there, the one who had despised Diego entirely and was entirely infuriated when he had found out his favorite ADA was “messing around” with the disgraced ex-police officer-turned-vigilante. He looked at the pity party that seemed to be happening in honor of Diego and laughed. “She always was too good for you. Glad she finally realized it.”

You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches

And I couldn't give a reason

Diego had a speech, he had. He’d prepared it with Grace and Allison and had practiced it a million times over, to make sure he wouldn’t stutter. Klaus and Ben had listened patiently, giving him pointers and Vanya had even helped him rewrite it when he thought it wasn’t conveying what he wanted to say. And yet, as he looked at you, he couldn’t think of a single word of it. He was nervous, sure, but he was so consumed by the love he felt for you, that he just blurted out, “Wanna get married?”. He offered wondered if he had given you a speech, told you how much he loved you, why he loved you, if you’d still be with him.

Champagne problems

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

November flush and your flannel cure

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

Diego had been so nervous bringing you to the Academy to meet his siblings. He wasn’t sure how’d you react to the dysfunction of his family and he was terrified in anticipation of what the siblings might say or do that would scare you off. Luckily, you and Klaus had immediately become attached at the hip and you were already familiar with Vanya. Luthor and Five had been cold at first, waiting to see if they were up to their standards and if you had ulterior motives with Diego. You, of course, passed with flying colors and by the end of the night, you had them laughing and sharing embarrassing stories of Diego. Allison was enthused and happy to welcome you to the family. Ben had engaged you in a deep conversation about the legacy of ancient civilizations long after anyone else cared to listen or contribute. Still, Diego had been nervous it was all a front as to not have the dinner be awkward and uncomfortable. As he drove back to your (unofficially shared) apartment, he had joked that his house was a madhouse. You had seen right through him, knowing he was trying to apologize for the chaos that is his family and that is, well, Klaus. You had laughed and told him that if you could survive in your madhouse of a family, you could survive in his too.

How evergreen, our group of friends

Don't think we'll say that word again

As Diego looked back on your relationship, he looked for signs that you were unhappy, or wanting to leave. He was unable to come up with any, with the exception of one. You and Diego never fought. It couldn’t have been healthy but there was… never anything to fight about. You were both okay with the other’s line of work, and while not perfect, Diego was learning to be open and honest with you about what he needed from the relationship and you had always been so receptive to that. Ben had once joked that he hadn’t seen plants so evergreen as your relationship. You had laughed and Diego smiled, happy he had someone that was so easy to be with after all the hardship he’d experienced in his life. Now all Diego could do was look back on that memory with the bitter taste of regret.

And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls

That we once walked through

Christmas had been your favorite holiday ever since you were a child. As you had gotten older, the excitement faded, but the cheer and happiness that came from watching old Christmas films and dancing to songs in your kitchen as you baked cookies found its way into your heart without fail every year. So, when the first Christmas with Diego came around, you had cautiously asked him if he’d like to celebrate it with you. Diego tried not to speak too much on Reginald, and from what you knew about the man, Christmas didn’t seem like something that was being celebrated at the Umbrella Academy. Diego had shrugged, saying he didn’t really know what Christmas was about to know if he’d enjoy celebrating it or not. Thus, you had taken Diego to look at lights and watched all your favorite Christmas movies as a child and listened to songs while baking family recipes and he had even helped you decorate the apartment. By the time Christmas rolled around, Diego had started to understand why you cherished the holiday so much. But waking up the morning of Christmas to gifts you had picked out for him, one making up for every year he lost out on what Christmas was supposed to be like, he felt his heart growing three sizes more, like the Grinch from the night before. Diego had never felt a love as pure when he looked at you.

The next year had been no different, just on a larger scale as the whole Hargreeves clan joined in this time. That year, Christmas morning found the Hargreeves boys whisper-yelling at Diego about how he had found the perfect woman as they woke to an abundant amount of gifts under the tree. You dragged Vanya and Allison down the stairs, insisting the family had to open presents together. Klaus had insisted he act as Santa, stating the real Santa should get to sit with her boyfriend. You hadn’t protested, seeing how much a kick he got out of the hat and curled up into Diego as he sat with his back against the arm of the couch. Diego ran his fingers through your hair, and you laid your head against his chest. Luther, wide-eyed, asked you how you were able to pay for all of it. You had shrugged and stated that being an ADA paid you a much larger salary than you knew what to do with and moving out of Manhattan meant a lot less on rent. When Vanya asked why you’d bother spending all that money on them, your response had ensured to Diego that he’d found the right one. “Well, you guys are like family to me. And you never got the Christmases I grew up with and it’s all about making other people happy. I wanted to give you back the Christmas you never had.”

As he looked around at the decorated Academy this year, Klaus and Ben insisting on continuing the tradition you left behind, Diego just felt an overwhelming sense of hatred of the colors and lights. All just painful reminders of what he lost. Of the girl who left.

One for the money, two for the show

I never was ready, so I watch you go

Sometimes you just don't know the answer

'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

Luther was the only one who could never quite believe you were with Diego totally and completely. Maybe the misgivings came from his strained relationship with the second Hargreeves boy but he always believed you were in it for one of two reasons. Either the money that came with Hargreeves fortune or the fame that came with the Hargreeves name. Of course, Luther wasn’t you, and would never understand the real reason you had said…

“No.” Diego looked at you, hand on his pocket, ready to give you Grace’s ring, unsure if his fear was playing tricks with his head. You shook your head, “No, Diego. I’m sorry.” When those words had left Diego’s mouth, your heart had stopped. You loved Diego, more than anything you had ever known, but the untold horrors of your life before Diego came rushing to the surface and began to choke you. How could you marry Diego when you couldn’t disclose the worst moments of your life to him for fear of being a burden on the already broken boy? You realized at that moment, you could be everything Diego needed, but you would never allow Diego to be everything you needed, setting your relationship hurtling for sure-fire failure. You gasped, the tears threatening to render you breathless. “Diego, I-” And in a moment of pure, blind panic, you grabbed your things and ran, leaving the boy devastated behind you.

"She would've made such a lovely bride

What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said

A few weeks after that night, Diego found himself alone at the Academy with Five. The two of them were sitting at the bar, not saying much. Finally, Five put his drink down on the table and looked at Diego. “I am really sorry about her, Diego.” Diego looked up at Five. “It’s a shame she’s got too many issues up here,” he said, tapping his head, “to give you what you wanted. She was one-of-a-kind.”

“What are you talking about Five?” Diego questioned, mildly annoyed Five brought you up.

“Did she give you a reason why, Diego?” Number 2 shook his head. “She always seemed to have her own issues, her own baggage, she was never willing to discuss. Maybe her issues with marriage was one of them.”

“That’s ridiculous Five, she would’ve told me.” Diego said, taking a sip of his drink. But as he thought about it, the more he wondered if Five was right. You had told him about your less-than-ideal relationship with your family and disclosed the fact that you didn’t drink due to a genetic predisposition of being an alcoholic, but he had always sensed there was something more you wouldn’t share.

But you'll find the real thing instead

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

And hold your hand while dancing

One night, he ran into Eudora at Griddy’s making a midnight waffle run for the family. She told him she had heard about the failed proposal and that if he ever wanted or needed to talk, she’d be there. He called her a few days later, and the two of them met up at a bar for a few drinks. He told her about you and that night, and as Diego talked about it, he realized that pain subsided. The outings to the bar became weekly occurrences and he found himself enjoying the company and comfort Eudora offered. And as Eudora found her way back into his life, as time went on, Diego realized he thought of you less and less.

Never leave you standing

Crestfallen on the landing

With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket

Her picture in your wallet

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

#champagne problems by taylor swift #champagne problems #diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves imagines #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves fic

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agendratum · 4 years ago

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hey @tootiredtoosadtooangry i tried to answer your 6 weeks old ask, but as i saved it as a draft to check the formatting and all that, it just fucking disappeared, cause tumblr is a website. it may magically come back later, but idk if it will happen. good thing is that i saved the text of that ask separately, cause i’m a genius and i wasn’t gonna lose this essay *wink wink* to this fucking website

ok, so it's been 6 weeks

it's basically 5-7 business days, right?

so 6 weeks ago i made a gif, and under that gif i said that i might write an essay about some things (wei wuxian), but then some other things happened (word of honor) and i kinda got distracted. but now i have my glass of whatever this alcohol that i'm drinking is, and i think i'm ready to talk a bit about our depressed necromancer who in that gif just came back to life. mostly about:

1. the specific flashback he's having in that moment, the one about seeing lan wangji for the first time

2. the general concept of being back to life 16 years later and getting using to that new world around him

so, first of all, what i find really interesting, is that upon seeing sizhui's clothing pattern, wei wuxian remembers, of course, lan wangji. but the thing is, being just back to life, his last memory from being alive is him falling down the cliff with lan wangji's face fading while the distance grows. that is not what he remembers. his memory goes back to the very first moment they met, the moment before literally anything happened, including all the things that went wrong.

because think about it. even tho i'm going here by the live-action canon, if we go back just a little bit to the novel canon, wei wuxian doesn't actually remember lan wangji fighting by his side in that final battle. when he comes back to life, he believes that he's remembered as the terrible yiling laozu by everybody. and that includes lan wangji. by the end of wei wuxian life he became everything that lan wangji warned him about, and everything he said he wouldn't become. so he believes that if lan wangji would find out that he's back to life, it wouldn't make him happy (oh how wrong he is)

when wei wuxian sees lan sect juniors for the first time, there seems to be a bit of hope - "is *he* also here?" but later we find out, that he doesn't actually want lwj to be here, cause he thinks that their meeting will not look like a friendly reunion (it will look like a very romantic reunion, but that happens later). and i think that when he has that small flashback to their very first meetings, the sadness that overcomes him is caused by the realization of that enormous gap between them when they just met and them after all the terrible things that happened. wei wuxian wants to see his old friend, a person who once at least tried to believe in him, who is also still alive, which can't be said about a lot of people he knew, but there is this huge barrier that he believes cannot be crossed. and he crossed that point of no return himself in his previous life, and he is now undeserving of lan wangji's trust and friendship.

and that's of course isn't true. but there is a difference between what we know, what lan wangji thinks and what wei wuxian believes and remembers.

there is no smooth transition i can think of to get to the second point, so here we are. 16 years. 16 years is a lot. it's a whole fucking life. a human can be almost fully formed in that time period (which is perfectly represented by both fully grown up sizhui and jin ling, who, when wwx died, was a one month old baby) in 16 years a lot can happen to a person. a person can grow to change their whole world view, their believe system, some of their principles, become comfortable with their identity and finally figure out what they want from life. a person can grow from a child to an adult, who's carefully and patiently initiating a plan they've been cultivating for years, while playing a role and hiding their true face from everybody. a person can take their enormous grief, their rage, their pain and direct it all towards achieving their goals, actually fulfilling the impossible, while managing to raise a child and not completely ruin them from the inside, but actually letting the child know that he's loved and safe.

and then wei wuxian who died 16 years ago before any of that happened, comes back to this world full of people he used to once know. but he doesn't anymore. and we can see it in everything, from little details to big very important conversations. the most obvious is him trying to play and flirt with lan wangji the ways he used to when they were teens, and being so confused by lwj's reaction. because lwj grew past that so long ago, while wwx just didn't have a chance to get this out of his system. that part is him getting to know lwj again, from the beginning, because he meets a new man. but at least with lwj, wwx is willing to get to know him and lwj is willing to let him do that.

then there is jiang cheng. there was always a certain level of misunderstanding between yunmeng bros, but at the same time, wei wuxian used to know jiang cheng pretty well. when jiang cheng was upset or something was going wrong home, with his parents, wwx mostly knew what to do or what to say or how to distract him and make light of the situation. he used to be able to look jiang cheng in the eyes and lie, and jiang cheng would believe that. and when wei wuxian comes back, he thinks it's the same jiang cheng. but the thing is, it's not. jiang cheng grew in not the most healthy ways, but he still grew up. there are so many moments, where instead of making the light of the situation, wei wuxian's actions escalate it. it's both jc just being a new person and wwx not knowing anymore how to act around him. the most important scenes showcasing that are lotus pier fight and the conversation in the temple.

there is also nhs, who's fooling everybody around him easily because he always did. even if it was just about school work. but isn't it fucking sad, that he's fooling even he's best friend. wwx isn't really surprised in the end, of course, when we find out that nhs has been behind all these deeds, but still he doesn't really suspect him. like at all, if i recall correctly? and they used to be on the same page of fooling everybody to think that these two boys are just some lazy fools. they're clearly not on the same page anymore.

wwx comes back to the world full of people who look like people he used to know or remind him of people he used to know, but they aren't them. meanwhile he didn't have the time to grow or change or just have some peace. wherever he's been while being dead, he was just out of it. his path of growing and figuring himself out stars with him coming back. but he's years behind. and with someone like lan wangji, we know that he's willing wait and he gives him space and he gives him love and home and warmth. but then, for example, jiang cheng's frustration is visible in the air, because he had years to overthink everything went wrong again and again, and wei wuxian comes back and it seems like he just want to ignore and leave "the past in the past" and it's infuriating for someone who couldn't let go of it all for 16 years. but it's understandable for someone who just came back and now the weight of everything they did multiplied by 16 years is suddenly being thrown at them.

and he has to get to know all these people from the beggining, if they will be willing to get to know each other at all. and the growth, that getting to know himself, it's a journey he has to take on his own. that's why i'm such a big fan of that trip he takes in the end by the way. but still it's a trip he takes alone, and there are still huge chunks of life he missed. and he will never get them back. he missed all those years when sizhui and jin ling were growing up. and it will always be there. they will be sharing their childhood stories with him, and the lack of wwx in their lives will be so obvious. he will continue to learn new things about lwj, about his old friends, about the world, because it's been so long, and it will be noticeable that he was not there.

i would say that all the characters of their generation (that survived) are lonely in their own way. but for wei wuxian it's the loneliness of being dead and just completely not present on the lives of his loved ones.

i don't know where i'm going with it now, so i think i will just stop here and maybe come back to you 6 weeks later with another terribly messy emotional take influenced by me drinking alcohol.

#cql #wwx #is it meta for me to mumble?#meta

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stargazerholland · 4 years ago

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Home - Peter Parker

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary : You’re left to do an English assignment that catches you off guard, but Peter may or may not have been your inspiration.

Warnings: Cussing (let me know if you find any, though!)

Words: 3.2 k

What is home? The message was sprawled across the board as your English teacher, Mr. Gilloway stared at the class, eyebrows scrunched up and his hooked nose crinkled. The soft light bounced off of his bald head.

“Since you all like to complain about wanting to go home, you might as well write down what is home. You can either write it as a descriptive piece, because I’d live to know why you want to go so badly,” he said sarcastically, “Or whatever comes to mind. It’s due in a month, so Flash, you better not complain about not having completed your work. You will also have to present in front of the class just so I can hear your wonderful voices grace my god-awful days. Class dismissed.”

You had no idea as to what is home to you, as you’ve never felt at home wherever you go. It seemed as though you never stuck to one place. A million thoughts ran through your mind thinking of a solution as to how you were going to come up with an answer, when you meet up with your best friends, Ned Leeds and Peter Parker near the school’s overcrowded parking lot.

“Hey, Y/N! Are you ok? You look a bit.. distracted.” Ned stated, his voice laced with concern. Ned always looked out for you, right after Peter. The duo had welcomed you into their “super secret that no other soul should ever be told cult” with open arms, when you had first moved to Queens. Overtime, the three of you were inseparable, the school knowing you as the three who would be sitting in the quiet, snug corner of the cafeteria fighting over who was the actual hero in Star Wars.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just thrown ‘off the rails’, if that’s even a saying,” You created air quotes to try to emphasize it, “it’s just Mr. Gilloway being a pain in the ass with his ‘deep and meaningful projects’ that are supposed to bring us to a realization of some unknown idea to our ‘uneducated minds’, whatever he means.” The Polynesian boy smiled, his pudgy cheeks showing off the rosiness of his almond skin tone.

“Peter and I both told you not to take AP English and look at where it got you, huh,” he taunted, as you looked to see both of them give their signature ‘I told you so’ faces, with their eyebrows raised and an amused smile, “just goes to show that we’re always right.”

With a roll of your eyes, you moved on to go home,

“Yeah, yeah, thanks mom. I’m gonna head out now. See you in chem tomorrow.” Before you left to catch the subway, Peter grabbed your wrist and said,

“Wanna come over? May misses you and we’d love to have you for the evening.”

You quickly nodded in affirmation and sent your mom a text to let her know about your whereabouts. The ride to his place was the same as always, sharing the headphones to listen to AC/DC, you complaining about Flash being your lab partner, and Peter sharing the previous night’s events during his patrol. Everything felt right at the moment, as if he was your safety blanket. Peter had the ability to radiate this sense of comfort even if you were across the room from him.

The subway finally stopped at your final destination, and you soon found yourself in the small, cozy apartment. It was the same as always, the soft grey throw blanket draped over the back of the worn out brown couch, and the smell of charred bread in the air. It was simple, just like the family. You sent a simple wave to Peter’s Aunt May and followed Peter to his room to start on your Chemistry homework.

Hours later, there were papers filled with math calculations and Chemistry formulas scattering the small room, as Peter was munching on some cheese-flavored potato chips.

“Did you get seventeen moles of copper nitrate for number 8?” Peter inquired, causing you to let out a groan.

“It’s seventeen? I got twenty-nine. Pete, I’m a hopeless teenager who doesn’t understand a single thing about this right now,” You heard a chuckle across from you and looked up, only to find Peter staring at you, something was different about his expression, but you still threw you eraser at him. Peter simply replied,

“Instead of complaining, you could have just asked. Lemme see what’s wrong… Ah,” he went on to explain the confusing lesson, however everything he said became sets of useless words as you were focusing on what was happening to you. Your entire body filled with warmth, while your heart was beating feverishly, like you’d just ran a marathon. The constant feeling of elevation in your stomach was overbearing, it felt like the spark on a tungsten before it reached the gunpowder for fireworks. It was different to what authors wrote in their stories, it was so much more than what you’d imagine, but it didn’t feel like love. The constant overcame your mind until you heard Peter call your name,

“Y/N, Y/N, are you still alive? May’s calling us for dinner, it’s Thai Food Thursday.” For the rest of the night, you could feel yourself being distant and distracted from the conversation, all thanks to Peter.

A week later, you still hadn’t made any progress on your English paper, which made you dread English class even more than you had before. Your past made it harder to even get an understanding of what home even was when all you could think of was your father.

Your father was always distant from you and your mother, acting like a guest at a bed and breakfast where he was only there for the night. Some weeks, he’d have to leave for a business trip, not coming back for a few weeks, or at least you thought that until you found him at a city nearby while being on a class field trip the fifth grade. He was with a familiar woman who you’d known growing up, Aunt Lydia, your mother’s younger sister. It turned out that your father had become infatuated with her in the duration of his first marriage, eventually starting a new family with Aunt Lydia and being much happier with her. The news spread like wildfire in a forest, eventually getting to your mother last. It broke you to know that your father would rather spend his days with some other kids than with you, another woman instead of your mother. After a short 2 weeks, the two of you had packed your bags and moved to Queens to forget the past, making it seem as if everything you knew from before was now supposed to be thrown out of a window. The project was no use when now all you could think of was a cold space where tension was intermingled in the air, and pain stained into the deepest threads of the couch pillows when you thought of home.

The library was almost completely empty, which was usual considering that the people of New York had better things to do than spend their time at the library, except for you, Peter, and now Ned. It was your annual reader’s binge night, where you’d all spend the afternoon reading a book from start to end, and then go out for a sub at the small, family-owned deli from around the corner. It was a tradition, and allowed you to bask in each other’s presence without the hassle of having to talk. The sounds of iced coffee being sipped and the constant whoosh of pages could be heard throughout the day. After the author had infuriated you enough with their cliche-filled sci-fi novel, you looked up to break the silence, until the sight of the room stopped you. More specifically, Peter. The sunlight shining in through the gigantic windows had illuminated the small features of his fair, pale face, like the freckles that were sprinkled all over his nose and cheeks just as the course sugar on sugar cookies. His chestnut brown hair became an array of colors as the copper undertones shining through, as he was concentrating on the book before him. Peter’s state of peace made you feel safe, as if nothing bad was going to happen to you. The time flew by as if it were like seconds as you continued to take in his image, until you felt a twinge on the side of your head, looking to your side to find a plastic straw on the ground.

“Y/N, you can stare at Peter after finishing the book. Now hurry up or else Mr. Delmar’s is gonna close up shop before we even finish!” Ned exclaimed as he smirked at your actions. Peter softly chuckled as you flipped off Ned, before all three of you went back to the book. While you mindlessly flipped pages, all that you could ponder was the same weird feeling that you felt at Peter’s house. It was almost as if you belonged there, as if you weren’t an outcast who had came out of nowhere. There was something about the feelings you had that you couldn’t comprehend completely, but it was becoming more and more prominent to you each day. Whatever the universe is trying to tell me, it sure is fucking me over, you thought, just as you saw your best friends close their books. Peter saw your expression, it was evident that you were deep in thought, and asked,

“You okay, Y/N?” To which you simply replied in the most New York way possible,

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wanna go grabba sub now?”

You picked up the group’s sandwiches and headed over when you heard Ned and Peter talking about you,

“I don’t know, Ned, Y/N is hard to be around when she can’t even take a hint,” You stopped dead in your tracks, like gravity was pulling you down and you weren’t able to move your feet. It felt like the day at the school field trip, everything you once knew was fabricated and far from what you thought your friendship was.

“Peter, you’re going to have to tell her someday. It’s hurting you and it's probably gonna hurt her too in the future,” you took your chance and walked in before any more damage could be done to your friendship.

“Whatcha talkin’ about?” You said as you sat down. The two shook their heads, muttering words that you couldn’t make out, and started a new conversation. Throughout the rest of the day, you couldn’t help but wonder about what you’d done wrong, guilt and fear flowing through your veins as if your blood had been replaced with it.

You invited Peter over the next day for dinner to repay him for when you ate at his house last time, and in hopes to try to mend whatever tension Peter was feeling. The dingy apartment that you’d been living in for the past 5 years was usually dull and quiet, your mom still hadn’t comprehended how her sister could betray her and you were left trying to feel the same way as she did when you were younger, when your family wasn’t broken. While eating the burnt ends of your chicken parm, the English project was still running on your mind. Of course Peter knew you were thinking about it, so naturally, he had to ask how the English assignment was coming along.

“I can’t connect with anyone or anything that relates to my home. I am genuinely convinced that literally everyone hates me, and soon I’ll be living alone with my three cats in a studio apartment!” You complained as your arms flew up in exaggeration. Peter, on the other hand, seemed frustrated, with his eyes in annoyance and his knuckles turning white from clenching them so hard. Peter cried,

“Well, maybe if you would just open up and try to let more people into your life, then you wouldn’t be here right now!” At this point, the tension you tried to get rid of was now a thick fog that couldn’t be seen through.

“That’s impossible, Peter! You, out of all people, know it’s hard for me to get close with someone, when practically no one finds me bearable,” you looked at him with anger, “not even you.” Peter was taken aback,

“How did you hear that?”

“So it was true,” you scoffed as you felt the wet trail of plump tears run down your cheeks, “gee, thanks a lot, Pete.” He stood up, intimidating you, as he boomed,

“Well, yeah, it is. All you ever do is push away anyone whoever tries to get close to you. You’ve built this thick barrier around everyone and it stupid. Grow up and stop acting like a four year-old, it's annoying,” and immediately walked out the tiny apartment’s door.

You sunk down in your chair, the tears flowing faster and add onto the pain-ridden apartment. There goes someone else I love, you pondered, I love you, Peter, more than I’ve loved anyone else.

Your English assignment was now due in a week and a half's worth of time and you’d barely had an outline or a single idea as to what you wanted to write about. For multiple nights, you would just sit in front of your grey, busted laptop and stare at the blank document until you’d figured it was now time to sleep. Multiple sentences that were once on the document soon disappeared by the click of a button immediately after.

As sleep-deprived teenagers rushed to leave the room, you went up to Mr. Gilloway, intimidated by the hunch on his back that formed every time he was scrolling down the New York Times about another political outburst from the Senator. It wasn’t that Mr. Gilloway was bad in person, it was just that he tended to be very unfiltered. All it took was one glance from him and you knew that you were going to take in the bitter and harshful words about not working on the assignment. But you took the leap anyway, and took all the courage you had in you to ask,

“Mr. Gilloway, I don’t know what to write for the assignment. I keep thinking about it, but nothing is coming to mind and I really have no clue as to what home is.” Squeezing you eyes, you braced for the string of words that were meaningless to him.

“Well, what was it like for you to be at home? Anyone particular who comes to mind? Or perhaps a memory that just replays over and over in your head? Remember, Y/N that home is not a definitive object, you can make it anything you want. It could be the simplest idea, or something over the top, but that is what it means to you. I have full trust in you to go with your guts and write wha’ is home to you,” Mr. Gilloway gently replied. His response was out of character compared to who he really was. It was unrecognizable, sympathy and gentleness was the last thing that would come across anyone’s mind when they thought of Mr. Gilloway. Unable to form words, you nodded your head, only to hear, “Now go, I need to catch up on what our jackass of a Senator we have right now.”

It wasn’t until you got onto your laptop once again when you knew what to write about. You finally had an idea.

It was finally the day of the presentation and your nerves got the best of you. The past week was more muted, with evenings spent writing the English assignment, and the daytime spent studying in the library in hopes to avoid Peter. It was also the most emotionally draining week, knowing you couldn’t just go up and tell him how you really felt about him.

Y/N, it’s your turn. And Flash, puh-LEASE keep the flirting for someplace else, my classroom is not a ‘Singles Mingle’,” Mr. Gilloway said. The voice at the back of your head kept telling you don’t mess up, don’t mess up, don’t mess up. The anxiety of sharing something so intimate with a group of bored teenagers was nerve wracking, so much so that your hands were quivering.

“Home is an abstract idea, and to most people, it is their place to go to sleep, eat, and repeat. In my entire life, I'd never felt like I was at home until just recently when I came to know how I know I am at home. Home is a blend of emotions, where there are multiple feelings every time you’re there, A sense of belonging, where no matter how different, broken, or mismanaged a person is, they still know that the very spot will always let them be themselves. Home is where a person feels comfort and safety, where they know that they will be supported and consoled through all the times you’ve been through. A sense of adoration that lingers in the air, making a person feel loved for who they are. The idea that a person knows who they are when they’re at this place, or with this person, makes us realize that this very place is our home. My home is with someone who I’ve known for a while, and even a glance into their brown eyes makes me feel complete. As they always say, home is where the heart lies.”

You looked around the room to see blank stares and an unusual smile from Mr. Gilloway, but it was relieving to feel the overbearing weight of not knowing yourself being lifted off your shoulders.

Once class had ended, you heard your name being called by none other than Peter.

“Was your speech about me?” Peter had a look of desperation and hope, “I feel like home to you?” How’d he listen? You thought, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I asked Mr. Gilloway,” Peter had read your mind, “Y/N, I only said I couldn’t bear you because I’m so deeply in love with you, but you never see that. It’s kind of hard to be friendzoned all the time, y’know?”

The moment you had awaited all along finally came in the least expected way, nor was it how everyone else described it to be. There were no fireworks in the background but instead, it was just as if the world had stopped around you.

“I love you too, Peter,” you whispered.

“So is it true?” With a simple nod and a small smile, you said,

“Yeah, it is about you, Peter.” A soft smile creeps up his face as he pulls you into his arms. It felt right, as if your body was perfectly molded to fit into his embrace. You decided to take the risk and pulled away, placing your hands over his pillowy cheeks, and pulled him towards you. You placed your lips on his, they were soft and smooth, with a hint of vanilla from the chapstick you made him use after seeing how rough they were a few months back. Peter kissed back, trying to empty all the love and adoration he had kept inside of him.

You couldn’t tell what the future held for you two, but you made a vow, right then and there that you would protect him with your entire heart, help him after his patrol’s and night, and most importantly, keep him in your heart for the rest of your life.

This was your home, right here with Peter.

A/N: Hi! I hope you liked this piece, I’ve had a a writer’s block for almost 2 years now, so to write this was a bit of a struggle, but it’s all good! Feel free to send over any requests or criticism. I also have to give an honorary mention to @wazzupmrstark! Her INCREDIBLE works gave me a bit of a push and inspo to get back to writing, so thank you so so much Kaili! (i’ll stop annoying you guys, byee :) )

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