#and it just looks ugly for what's meant to be one of netflix's premier shows

[bruhwrestling]

My thoughts on the Witcher season 3 so far;

[real-american]

Supernatural: A dedication to its memory and how the show changed my life

Fifteen Years. 15 years and over 300 episodes of the greatest show on TV. 15 years of joy, heartache, tears, fun and inspiration; and for me, 15 years, two marriages one divorce, two tattoos and a show that brought me the love of my life. Supernatural has impacted us all on so many levels. I could easily write a 15 page academic paper on the seasons, the meanings behind each season and all the little things that made the show so great. Things such as the music, the brothers Winchester, the family dynamic, and the beautiful 1967 Chevy Impala (my dream car should I win the lottery. Black four door version of course). I could go on about each major and minor character, how they impacted the show and what each of them meant to me and the fans but this is not what this is about. This post is about how Supernatural changed my life and how it impacted me.

First a few housekeeping things to address regarding the final season and the series finale. I thought the pre finale show was excellent but definitely could have been longer and included more. However I do understand they only had 42 minutes or so to cram 15 years of memories and characters in so I understand they had to only hit the highlights. They should do a longer version for the Blue Ray 15 season collectors set which I'm sure they will make and that I am definitely getting. Regarding the final season, I thought it was excellent. My wife, who is also a big fan of the show (more on her later) didn't think it was as good as other seasons but enjoyed it none the less. The ending was good sort of expected with the two boys ending up in heaven together, but I was surprised they killed Dean in the sort of nonchalant way they did. Sort of anti climactic for the greatest hunter in the world. The final speech to Sam was heartbreaking and heartfelt and I loved it! I also loved the symmetry of how Sam's son Dean also gave him permission to leave this world as Sam gave (original) Dean all those years later. I'm glad they didn't show who Sam's wife was and she was just left as a mysterious place holder. Originally I thought maybe they should have had him with Eileen but in retrospect the way they did it was better and honestly I'm not sure if she (or the other AU folk) were even brought back with the rest of the world. Maybe someone can clear this point up for me. I was really surprised they didn't do the "carry on my wayward son" beginning but I soon figured out before it even happened they were going to do it in the end of the episode which turned out to be much better. All in all I give the last season an A- and the finale and how it ended an A+ Again there is a lot to say about the final season, the final episode, and all the seasons but I will leave that analysis to other people. This is about what the show meant to me specifically about how it helped me through my darkest days and ushered in my brightest of days which I am living now. This is that story.

I wasn't with Supernatural from the very beginning. The show premiered in 2005 and I honestly hadn't heard anything about it or did I know anything about it for a few years. I came off active duty from the Marine Corps in June of 2005 and after fighting my beloved country's wars for a few years I was out of the loop on many things. I first came across Supernatural on TNT catching a re run here and there but with no real interest and only getting bits and pieces of the story. In 2010 I met my first wife and was a casual fan at this point seeing enough re runs on TNT to get a general idea of the storyline for the first few seasons but again only as a casual fan. At this point of my life I was also falling down a dark hole. My alcoholism which is a result of my PTSD from my combat service started to get really bad. I was drinking more than most people could handle but as my father was, highly functional. This led to me staying with and eventually marrying my first wife which was a bad idea. She cheated on me constantly and probably didn't even really love me. We were also polar political opposites (you can figure out my political viewpoints from the rest of my blog) and not compatible really in the least. Why I ever stayed with her and married her is beyond me at this point in my life. So there I was drinking my life away in a bad relationship and trying to figure out how to manage my life. Then Supernatural came on Netflix and I decided to give it a real shot. This decision changed my life.

I quickly caught up on the first six seasons and started watching the show live starting with season 7. I was hooked. I loved everything about it. Dean and Sam, Cass the car, the brotherly love, the monsters, the angels, everything but I still didn't know how this show would impact me in the end. I continued to drink myself to death getting unhealthier fatter and no longer resembling the fit Marine I once was. I was in a constant haze drinking an entire bottle of whiskey every night to drink away the pain of my bad marriage and the pain of not being loved and cheated on by my wife. Supernatural was the one bright spot in my life.

In 2014 I finally divorced my wife but this was only the first step. I continued to drink and destroy my life causing me to get fired from my job. Fortunately I was hired on back into government work making much better money and with having no wife and no kids was finally able to live a little better financially but I was lonely and alone except for the alcohol. I continued to find refuge in the bottle but also in Supernatural. I watched every episode as it came on, re watched all the old episodes, blogged and facebooked about it to the point that I am sure I was annoying the one or two friends that I had. The rest of my life was a blur. Get up, stumble into work drunk or hungover, go home sick and jonesing for my next drink, bottle of whiskey till one in the morning, a few hours of sleep and starting the whole cycle back over. I was fat, ugly on the outside, ugly on the inside, and a bad human being. My drinking got so bad I destroyed my liver and was medically discharged from my job but was given retirement for all my years of service to the federal government. So now I was 33 retired with a pension and VA disability and really nothing to do but sit at home drink whiskey and watch TV. I had no love in my life, one or two close friends who didn't like being around me anymore because of my drinking, and my family was worried but couldn't get through to me. Even after my father died of alcohol abuse in 2015 I still continued down my destructive path. Finally in February of 2017 I was hospitalized and was told I would be dead in less than a year. I truly believe I was touched by God at this point because I went home dumped out three bottles of alcohol and never touched the stuff again to this day.

Now I had to learn to relive my life all over without alcohol. I started to exercise and lose weight (90 pounds in 5 months) I went back to church, and I started to try and find love again and of course needing distraction and something to occupy my mind I dove deep into Supernatural. I re watched and re watched again all the old episodes, I poured myself into analysis of the plot lines and characters, I got tattoos on my arms (the demon trap and the anti possession symbol), I obsessed with everything Supernatural. It helped me stay sober. When I wanted a drink I would watch an episode, when I was feeling lonely I would go hang out with Sam and Dean. When I wanted to give up I took refuge in the Impala. I became a super fan. So far Supernatural got me through my divorce, was my bright spot in my alcoholic haze, and helped me stay sober when I first gave up my demons. I cheered harder during the happy moments of the show and cried harder in the sad ones. I was an emotional wreck and my feelings only seemed to come out while watching the show. Although I had quit drinking, got rid of my toxic ex wife and started to improve my life, I was still not happy. I was alone and lonely but Supernatural came to my rescue once again.

Throughout 2017 and the first part of 2018 I managed to be in two relationships. I poured myself into them grasping at them as if they were my reward for turning my life around and ignoring all the signs that they were not good relationships. I was still learning to relive my life as a sober person. I never integrated back into society after I left the Corps in 2005 and finally I was doing so but it was a hard journey. Inevitably those relationships failed and I was utterly heartbroken each time, but Supernatural was always there through the good times and the bad. When my heart was broken I would go find refuge in my favorite show forgetting about my problems and trying to help Sam and Dean solve theirs. Finally in May of 2018 I decided to try and find love again. This time it would be different and this time it was Supernatural that helped me get there.

As part of my recovery and daily routine I started to eat at my local diner everyday. Everyday from about July 2017 to the present time in this story I would go in, order 2 eggs over easy, hash browns, sausage, and toast. Everyday I would sit in the same spot at the counter (counter 6 was the name of the spot) order the same thing and even had my own special coffee mug. I knew everyone who worked there by name and they all knew me by name. They knew my order and had it ready for me when I came in. It felt like a magical place, a place that would forever change my life. There was one waitress/cook that I didn't see very often. She mostly worked the night shift but occasionally I would see her if I was there later in the day than usual or if she occasionally worked a morning shift. I was drawn to this woman. About the middle of May in 2018 I decided to maybe try and work up the courage to ask her out. I would always look for her when I went in hoping she was working that day hoping she wasn't too busy so that I could exchange a few words with her and hoping she would even notice me. Then one day in July I went in and she was there. I said hello and ate my breakfast but we didn't talk much. When I was paying for my meal the other gal working there asked  what my plans were for the day and I said oh nothing much just gonna go home and watch Supernatural. Then she turned around. The woman I had been trying to talk to, the one I wanted to ask out, Michelle was her name. She said, "I love that show I'm watching season 13 on DVD right now". I perked up a smile came across my face. Nervously I said, "oh cool yeah its my favorite show" Michelle nodded and turned back to work, I went to my car got in and smiled. I knew how I was gonna break the ice now next time. A few days later on my daily visit to the diner I went in a little later than usual. It was about 3 in the afternoon. It was dark and gloomy, raining, and cold. It felt like a Supernatural episode. It felt like a 67 Impala should have been in the parking lot and two good looking hunters should be in the corner on a laptop researching their current case. It felt like a magical moment. Turns out I was the only customer in the whole place. It was just me the waitress and Michelle who was cooking that day. They took my order without asking as the usually did and I could already see Michelle had already started cooking it. She finished and brought it to me herself. We exchanged a look and a feeling of confidence I have never had in my life overcame me and I said to her, "So are you enjoying season 13?" That is how it all began we started talking about the show. How we started watching it who our favorite characters were, how much we loved this season or that one. The conversation was seamless. We got into other get to know you topics around our conversation about Supernatural and it was like we were old friends talking about a show we loved. Eventually I got up and went to pay the waitress and she turned to go back to the kitchen in the back. Feeling an opportunity slip away I said "hey Michelle, maybe we should go get some dinner some time and watch some Supernatural together". I held my breath. She would surely smile and politely say no. She probably gets asked out all the time by the customers, beautiful woman that she is. Then she smiled and said "sure that would be great" I must have smiled so big and my heart skipped 10 beats! I got her number which she wrote on a order ticket and the rest they say is history. Ten months later I wrote ,"will you marry me" on the back of that order ticket and gave it to her at counter 6 at the diner where we met, where we first started talking about Supernatural, where my life finally changed for the better forever, and she said yes! We were married two months later on our one year anniversary and we just watched the final episode together yesterday. We both had tears, we both smiled when Sam and Dean, soulmates, were finally together at the end because we both know how it feels to be with each others soulmate. We held each others hand and said goodbye together.

Supernatural has forever changed me. It has been with me through every major event in my life over the last 15 years. Through the dark times, through the hard times, and finally through the current happy times. I guess it is ok that Supernatural is over now. I no longer need it. I have my wife, my Michelle, my soulmate. I am finally happy. I have Sam and Dean's permission to move on and they have mine. Good bye Winchesters. Good bye and thank you. You have taught me to carry on and find my peace when I'm done, and to cry no more. This is but one man's story, one of so many. How many lives has this show changed? How many people have found comfort in the adventures of Sam and Dean? I'm not sure the answer. Too many to count I would wager. 15 years and 300 episodes of the greatest show ever on TV. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  

[thejosh1980]

I was lookin' back to see if she was lookin' back...

Yesterday Alex, Mum and I celebrated...

It's been one year since Alex and I arrived at Mum's place in Ocean Shores, NSW Australia.

If you've read my earlier blogs in 2020, you'll know that we had a lot of trouble getting home. Between the government and airlines, at one point it looked like we'd never get here; we were stranded. I was living in constant worry, stress and hopelessness - in fact, we all were: Alex's family in Germany and Mum's family down under.

Our July 2020 flights were cancelled or rescheduled many times, and eventually we decided to buy new, more expensive flights, on another airline through an agency, which gave us some assurances we'd be on the flight. Our new flights booked and confirmed for early September.

We flew Frankfurt to Adelaide, which was not our original plan. Adelaide had no COVID, and the chance of getting on a flight and getting into the country was higher than say, Brisbane, or Sydney. We could quarantine in Adelaide for 2 weeks and then fly on to Brisbane, which is closer to Ocean Shores.

That was like.... so last year...

This area where we now live is known as the Northern Rivers of New South Wales, and when we arrived at Mum's there was no COVID in the area. We are only about 35 minutes south of the Queensland border, about 8 hours north of the big smoke, Sydney.

Now, a year on, COVID has arrived here.

It's been biting at the heals of tourists and essential workers travelling north since Sydney went into lockdown a couple of months ago.

It's not our idea of a good time.

Right now it's school holidays, which is meant to be 2 weeks of families holidaying in caravan parks and hotels, an essential part of this tourist attraction mecca. Byron Bay, Brunswick Heads, and surrounds are usually very popular places; so popular that most locals complain about how busy it gets here during the holidays. You just can't get a parking sport anywhere!

The Northern Rivers was locked down for about 6 weeks through August into September because cases from Sydney were getting into regional NSW. These regional areas affected by COVID weren't near here, but they made a blanket rule for everywhere outside of Sydney, just to be on the safe side.

Honestly, I don't blame them for the rule, regional outback Australia can't cope with COVID, there's few hospitals, beds, or COVID experience in the scrub and farm land.

Anyhow, I digress...

After those 6 weeks or so in lockdown, they lifted the restrictions here in the northern rivers (and other areas of NSW).

And now, after 2 weeks, lockdown is back on...

There are a couple of cases in the area. Snap lockdowns are the government's preferred method of containing outbreaks. Lockdown areas wherever cases pop up for a week or two (or longer) to limit exposure.

It reminds me constantly that life can change quickly at any time. I have decided I will not waste time once this current lockdown has ended (who knows when that will be). I will visit friends, family, and musicians who live close by. I want to see as many folks as quickly as possible, before another lockdown kicks in.

Besides the boring, never ending tale of COVID, there have been a few things happening this past year...

Alex has been working consistently in the real estate industry since her temporary visa kicked in late last year.

Her first job was a few more miles away than any of us locals would consider driving, and the position wasn't as enjoyable or rewarding as she had first hoped. She really dived in the deep end, and while she didn't drown, she probably needed a few swimming lessons before the attempt. It was a life lesson, one she took on board, and when a new job came up closer to home, she nailed the interview (as she always does), and hasn't looked back.

The 2nd job is less than half the distance away, strictly 9 to 5 and in a company which she enjoys. There's a strong company structure, good work ethic, and entertaining colleagues. Her supervisors, colleagues, and managers are all very supportive; I think she'll be sitting tight on this one for a while.

Alex has also found her creative side again, scrap book journalling, instant camera photography, and some kind of couples diary/journal/photo book too. It's become an almost nightly affair of focusing, creating, and having something to show for it fairly quickly. She's very proud of her work, and it's something she does just for herself. I don't expect you'll get a chance to see a photo of what she's done, and she likes it like that.

I had a bit of work late in 2020 and early 2021, nothing special really, but wait until the premier!! It's interesting to think that some day soon I'll be able to go to the cinema and see my ugly mug on the big screen (even if it will most likely be out of focus). I'll be on Netflix too.

Having the opportunity to be an extra on film and TV was a real boost for my confidence after being off stage for so long. I felt creative, met some great people, made some friends, and had a few bucks in my pocket. Happy days.

By jumping into an industry I hadn't been in before right after arriving here, it reminded me that Australia has a lot to offer. I found myself comparing Germany and Australia, and Australia often feels like it comes up short. This was a chance to prove to myself that there are adventures awaiting here down under.

So, I decided to go back to school.

The last time I was in a class room was in 1998!! I am studying a Diploma of Counselling, and am currently half way through my studies. I've found it very challenging, but have passed every assessment so far, and gained some handy skills too. I have a good connection with my teachers, and I really enjoy the company of my classmates; some of which I can even call friends.

I chose counselling for a few reasons, but the first step was really just a process of elimination. Besides being a freelance professional musician for several years in Germany, I had worked in offices, shops, warehouses, kindergartens and various other jobs. While I could go back into IT or something similar, I wanted to use this opportunity to try something new.

I had my fair share of mental health issues in the past (and present). I thought maybe those experiences could help me connect with folks who need support as well. When looking at course options, the counselling course stood out. So now I'm making a mid life crisis gamble that I'll pass the course, and feel confident and knowledgeable enough to take on the role that many others have taken on for me over the years.

The course has helped me find a routine too, one that I didn't know I needed, until it happened. When you're jobless and unfocused, the mind wanders, the days pass. Now my mind is focused on study, and I feel better for it.

Up until the lockdown hit, we were in class 3 days a week and then I'd study from home 1 to 3 days a week. When lockdown hit, we had to go online. However, being on the computer so much has worn me out, and I really start to enjoy those rare days where I am not looking at a screen!

To be honest, it's been challenging every step of the way, and I even thought about quitting several times in the past few months. However, my confidence has steadily risen to each challenge and I felt better for it.

That's the kind of vicious circle I enjoy.

In July I had my first live show in 13 months! In fact, to date I've only had 3 since the pandemic started! Fingers crossed I can cross the border next month and add a 4th.

I was approached by Cherry Divine to play guitar for her. It's a relatively easy gig for me. The songs are fun rockabilly tunes, Cherry sings great, and she already has a band and gigs. I'm helping her write a few songs too, for her next album. I can't thank her enough for sparkin' the fire in me to keep music alive in my life; for a while there I thought it was all a thing of the past.

With the spark has come the possibility of “The Josh” solo band coming together. While the band isn't moving at any great speed (the recent 2nd lockdown kicked in right as I was about to arrange a rehearsal), I'm finally eager to get a band together. I miss playing live, and I miss having musicians in my life. I miss the spontaneity of a show, life on the road, and crowd reactions.

I've even started to write some new material, and get those ideas on “tape”, well, on the computer. Slow and steady, between studying, family, pets and surfing, music is coming back into my life, and it feels good.

Our family unit here is doing well. Alex and I have been under mum's roof and mum's care for a year now. There are some ups and downs, but mostly I'd say they're ups... The house is big enough to give all of us space, all of us get time outside of the house (except during lockdown, I was mostly stuck at home, but that's OK for me)...

Last night we couldn't go out for dinner, but we did have take away from the local Indian which was really good, and a special treat for us, we don't eat out often.

Alex and I plan to get away every 5-6 months for a visit to somewhere we haven't been. In March we were on the “Sunshine Coast” and checked out Australia Zoo, and in June we went south to the mid north coast to pick up BB Junior.

It's nice to get out and explore. A bit hard to do at the moment, with the restrictions, but we've agreed another trip away (before Christmas if possible) is in order. Those trips are part of the reason why I came home, to see some of Australia, and I'm lucky I get to make those experiences with Alex.

It's also nice to get away from it all. I know we live in a beautiful spot near the ocean, but here, at home, there's the computers, the life and routine, and getting away keeps us fresh and focused on each other. It's definitely something I look forward to!

Speaking of BB Junior, he's almost 7 months old now, and a real character. While he's not the easiest cat to train, I've been getting a few tricks out of him, and he enjoys his time outside, with his harness and long lead. He visits his cousin each week for play time, Charlie, who is another ragdoll of a family friend who loves to play chase all day long with Junior. Alex adores Junior, and Junior adores Alex; they can't wait to cuddle when she comes home from work. He's very vocal too, so even when everyone is at work, I have someone to talk to!

Losing our little boy Mijo was a real difficult experience. I know I've written about him before, but he deserves a mention here, as he was a big part of our first year here. He was full of character and strength, he and I bonded very quickly and not a day goes by I don't think of him. He also brought Alex and I closer together. When she chose him for me, and when he passed, and all points in between, he brought us closer.

I've been focused on sport a fair bit since getting back and settling in. I bought a RowErg, also known as a rowing machine, and I row about twice a week, in addition to riding my bicycle about twice a week. I try to surf every chance I get, which unfortunately ends up being only a few times a month. It's my goal to do something sporty to get my heart rate up every day, and of late, usually I get there too. I don't really do it for any other reason than I love to snack and I can't snack if I don't do sport!

A benefit of my sport/snack workout routine is it helps me stay calm and focused and connected with those I ride and surf with.

I haven't asked Mum how she's feeling about having her middle aged son and his wife living with her recently. Maybe I should, but do I really wanna know the answer? Well, I think she's OK with it. After all, we drive her wherever she wishes! I suspect it goes a little deeper than that, and in all honesty, we enjoy each other's company.

Since Alex and I have been here, I'd like to think Mum has been living a little bit fuller life. I don't think her eyesight has deteriorated much in the past year, but we've been able to provide her with support, eyes to read the small print, driving and help with google, or something around the house. When Mum was diagnosed with celiac disease earlier this year, Alex took her shopping to check over the ingredients of Mum's favourite food, and when needed, found alternatives. It definitely made the transition to gluten free a little easier on Mum and it was a load off my mind that we were around to help her through that phase.

Winter 2021 was over before it even started. I forgot how warm this part of the world is, and I don't know why I own so many jackets! Returning from Europe, where I was wearing a jacket daily for about 9 months of the year, here it feels like, if it's really needed, and I mean if you're desperate, you might need one for 9 weeks of the year. I think the heater was on a handful of times, and the sun was shining just about every day.

I tell ya, it's some kind of paradise here.

It's been a bit difficult keeping up with our European friends and family. I sometimes find it hard to find the time to be proactive to contact the 20, 30 or more friends I'd like to keep in touch with regularly. I know our lives keep on keepin' on, but time passes by so quickly too, and next thing you know it's been 4 months since I last contacted you!

Sorry about that!

Don't take it personally, and I'll get back to you, eventually!

My overall mental health has improved over the year, I'd say it's become quite stable since I started the course. I mean, can't you tell? I write less and less in this blog, because I have less and less to process. I'm not sure if it's the fact there's a lot of self reflection that is inherently a part of doing that kind of mental health course, or if it's the routine of being a student or the new friends I've made and classmates I study with.

It could be that it's taken a year to come to terms with being back here, cause when I first arrived I felt uncomfortable, depressed and worn out... There were a lot of questions; is this a mid life crisis? What am I doing here? Will I ever feel good again? Is my music career over? What am I going to do now? Is Alex OK? Is Mum OK?

My journalling, blogging, and support from friends and family has helped a lot too this past year. Processing my thoughts in words, by clarifying and reflecting, has helped a lot. I've been trying to care for myself a bit more now and then too, I think people call it self care, sometimes I call it sport! Alex has helped me to recognise my achievements, however big or small, and focus less on what I haven't done.

I'm not perfect, but definitely improving.

I was hoping that Alex and I would be in a position to start looking at buying our own house around this time, a year in, but unfortunately, with one of us being a student and the ever rising cost of housing, we have to sit tight on that idea for a while longer. Sorry Mum, you're stuck with us.

There's been many smaller things happen during our first year here. Lots of moments of gratitude, love and support. There's some stuff we've forgotten, or that has been overtaken by something bigger. All in all, I'd say it's been a real rollercoaster home coming!

We're still here, a year on, still going strong, making motions, taking chances, being in love, talking shit, laughing, smiling, misbehaving and focusing... What more could we ask for?

Thank you for reading, for your support and love. I love you too.

Josh

[palomvs]

     insert a GOOD tik tok reference here ! hey , i’m izzy ( my middle name , my actual first name is lola , but i thought having my character’s nickname and my name be the same might be confusing , but you can call me either ! ) , i use she / her pronouns , i live in the est timezone and i haven’t left my home in a solid FIFTY-THREE days ! i’m so , so , so excited for this group and to finally give netflix even more real estate in my brain — they really do own this ass ! 

     ( ester expósito , cisfemale , she / her , muse b ) — oh my god, i totally just saw PALOMA VIDAL walking through greenwich village ! you know, she plays VALENTINA ROMERO on that new netflix show, the village ? i can’t believe they’re already famous at TWENTY. i’ve watched all of their interviews, and they totally come off as BRAZEN and STOIC, but they can also be DEBONAIR and CONSCIENTIOUS. based on their social media, i’d describe LOLA like ( script pages covered in notes , silver rings , iced matcha on a warm day , coconut-scented sunblock ) — totally makes sense that people call them THE PRODIGY.

𝐢. 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

full name : paloma isabella vidal. nicknames : lola , loma & palo. age : twenty. birthday : september 15 , 1999. sun sign : virgo. gender : cisfemale. pronouns : she / her / hers. romantic orientation : heteroromantic. sexual orientation : heterosexual. relationship status : tbd ! passports : spanish & american. languages spoken : spanish , english & a few words of french. label : the prodigy. pinterest board : click here !

faceclaim : ester expósito. height : 5'5". eye color : hazel. hair color : blonde. dominant hand : left. tattoos : a moon on her left shoulder blade , which she got in memory of the long nights she spent on the beach in california ( malibu nights by lany , anyone ? )

positive traits : debonair , conscientious. negative traits : brazen , stoic. enneagram type : type seven , the enthusiast. hogwarts house : gryffindor.

𝐢𝐢. 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲

     paloma was born to cristian and alina vidal ( respectively a producer for film and television , and a retired actress turned director ) in los angeles in september 1999 , and grew up in the GLITZ of hollywood from a young age. though many would think a life of premieres , backstage passes and paparazzi would go straight to a little girl’s head , paloma’s parents both made sure her life was kept as normal as possible. she was raised in l.a. , and spent most of her time either in school , or by the water. 

     despite her parents’ backgrounds and careers , it was never really written in the stars for paloma to follow in their footsteps. growing up , she was a particularly active and outdoorsy child , with a penchant for sailing , surfing ( see her HEADCANONS below for more on her surfing ! ) and photography. guidance counselors thought she might choose to become a pro athlete of some kind , or perhaps some kind of sports journalist or photo-reporter.

     throughout high school , she felt a certain lack of direction , feeling torn between her childhood interests and the pull of hollywood , and what she’d seen her parents do their whole lives. in her junior year of high school , the opportunity to audition for the role of audrey in her school’s rendition of LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS came up. landing the role , and the subsequent weeks of rehearsals and performances , cemented the idea of a career in the arts for paloma.

     she eventually made a move towards the industry by attending the savannah college of art and design ( scad ) , as a performing arts major. the opportunity to audition for the role of VALENTINA , in netflix’s upcoming show the village was brought up by one of her professors ( along with her parents’ connections ) , who urged her to travel to new york. within a few weeks , filled with travel and a flurry of online assignments , paloma landed the role and decided to move to new york full-time to be present for the filming of the show.

     though she’s always been known as quite a workaholic , taking on the role of valentina has amplified it greatly. she’s usually the first in and last out on set ( actor-wise , at least ) and is known to prioritize making sure she knows her lines and blocking over beauty sleep. at present , this hasn’t devolved into anything too SERIOUS , but definitely could in the future ( will it be a slippery slope to a caffeine addiction and perhaps something more , or will she correct course in time ? stay tuned to find out ! )

𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚

     VALENTINA ROMERO , known as val to friends , is the village’s resident pretty girl ( with a brain ). she’s what would result if serena van der woodsen , cher horowitz , cordelia chase , elle woods and summer roberts were put into a blender. from a prominent political family , she was raised between party fundraisers , easter egg hunts on the white house lawn , campaign trails and society gatherings.

    much like SERENA , her life has happened under the warm glow of the spotlight , and things always seem to have come easy to her. she’s a little more tame than serena though , and rarely ends up on page six ( when she does end up in the pages of magazines , it’s usually for something a little more decent ).

    much like CHER , she’s known for her fashion , and is the darling of amateur photographers in greenwich village. she’s not really the type to bring anyone down for their taste , but rather one to remark when someone wears something she’s into.

    much like CORDELIA , she’s not one to bite her tongue when something’s on her mind. she’s got a sharp wit , and adores honesty over everything else. again , she’s not known to bring people down for sport , but will rebut anything that comes her way if it’s meant to be damaging to her , her family or her friends.

   much like ELLE and SUMMER , she’s a lot smarter than she looks. she doesn’t always try as hard as muse a , but often ends up with good grades anyway. she’s often underestimated by group project members or fellow students , who see her as the stereotypical DUMB BLONDE. proving them wrong is her favorite sport.

𝐢𝐯. 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

     she took up surfing at a young age , and made it her primarily source of exercise growing up. for a while , many thought she’d either go pro , or end up photographing surfers professionally. since moving to new york , she’s had to CHANGE workout regimes , but that hasn’t stopped her from decorating her apartment with surf memorabilia.

   she loves experimenting with fashion , and is known for her BOLD red carpet looks. from bright colors to unusual materials , nothing is off limits ( as long as it’s ethical ! ) she chose her stylist specifically because both saw eye to eye when it came to taking a risk , rather than playing it safe.

    her favorite scents are coconut sunblock and surf wax , which she found is CANDLE form and is always burning in her apartment when she’s running through lines , practicing her blocking , or hanging out with castmates / friends. it’s also one of her favorite ‘ first day of shooting ’ gifts for the cast and crew around her.

    dried mango is her ABSOLUTE favorite snack , and she’s always carrying some around on-set. her mother used to give her that and frozen grapes growing up instead of candy ( since she has such a sweet tooth ) , and she’s been hooked ever since.

    she’s not one to name-drop her parents’ connections and friends in the industry , but the one connection she’ll proudly let people know about ( when they ask ) is that , yes , hugh jackman is her godfather. he and her father met when the latter produced x-men in 2000 and have been INSEPARABLE ever since. if paloma’s ever able to fake a believable aussie accent , it’s thanks to hugh.

    her script pages are usually covered in notes , made in pencil , highlighter , markers , or whatever else she can get her hands on. over the past few months , and during her time at scad , she found that jotting down her IMMEDIATE thoughts on a scene , her lines and / or her blocking always help her remember things better. she keeps all of her notes and script pages in binders back at her apartment , so she can always look back on her character arc and make sure she stays true to who valentina is.

𝐯. 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

     give me the WILL THEY , WON’T THEY ? , where the paparazzi and magazine editors are all convinced there’s a relationship bubbling below the surface. and who wouldn’t ? paloma and your muse have incredible on-set chemistry , are always seen hanging out outside of work hours , and are expertly paired by their publicists during press rounds. that said , when removed from the flashes of the paparazzi , nothing seems to have transpired ( yet ).

     give me a RYAN REYNOLDS TO MY JAKE GYLLENHAAL ( see this video ) , where our muses cannot be paired together for interviews anymore , after cracking jokes every five seconds instead of promoting the village. they’re fused at the hip on-set , and are usually the ones to go live on instagram during filming breaks , to the delight of fans.

     give me an EX , because working with someone you used to date ( or just sleep with ! ) creates so many great possibilities. was it awkward for them to see each other’s names in the press when casting for the village was revealed ? or did one ( or both ) of them see it as an opportunity to build a friendship ? are they jealous on-set , or can they keep it together ?

     give me CHILDHOOD FRIENDS , with bonus points if the friendship exists because of their families’ ties to the film & tv industry. if people dig deep enough through google images , there’s bound to be a picture of them together as children on some red carpet. perhaps the years of knowing each other have turned them into best friends , or maybe they now can’t stand the sight of each other. after all , hollywood can get competitive and ugly.

     give me the BROTHER SHE’S NEVER HAD , who teases her mercilessly , but will always protect her from the paparazzi. they’re protective of one another and are each other’s rock in the new world that is sudden overnight fame. 

     give me the PLATONIC LIFE PARTNER , whom paloma loves more than her own self. they have the login information to all her devices , they text people back in her stead , they sleep in the same bed , they readjust each other’s clothing on red carpets. one is rarely seen without the other , and the village’s fans revel in the two’s friendship.

     i also have a full WANTED CONNECTIONS tag right here , if you want to peruse and find something that suits you , your muse and your own wc !

[oddieodelia]

Forsaken: UK Shadowhunters Con Recap

Hi all! So I went to Forsaken this weekend, if you don’t know what that is, it was a Shadowhunters con in London with Maxim Roy (Jocelyn), Jon Cor (Hodge), Kaitlyn Leeb (Camille) and Joel Labelle (Alaric).

It was so much fun, and since it was their first con/they’re not the main cast it was so small, nice and chill. They were all so down to earth, humbled and overwhelmed that we came to see/speak to them. They each had two panels (one on each day) and a full guest panel, I’ve managed to write up most of what I can remember below. Obviously there’s a lot I haven’t captured, but highlights/best moments are under the cut!

A lot of things we discussed were personal/non-Shadowhunter related, if you just want to read the bits to do with the show, just read the bits that have been bolded.

Kaitlyn

Camille will not be appearing in 2b

We were meant to get a scene set in the 1800s when we saw the flashback photo of Camille/Magnus/Ragnor. The scene was meant to be at a ball, and Camille tells Magnus about her dalliance with that short lived Russian. However unfortunately due to budget constraints the scene got cut. 

Another scene that got cut: initially at the beginning we were meant to see a scene between Camille/Raphael that was all in French. As she doesn't speak French she spent a while learning the lines and the accent. She nailed it by the time they did the table read, but after that the scene got cut.

When discussing ships that would never work, she said Camille/Alec. We agreed that would only happen if she did an encanto on him. After discussing for a while Kaitlyn said that to get back at/hurt Magnus for sending her to Idris, when Camille breaks free she'll encanto Alec.

If Camille wasn't such a lying cheating bitch she believes Camille and Magnus could've had a future, because deep down they do and will always love eachother.

Kaitlyn has a few projects coming up: she's continuing with Heartland, a Netflix show coming up (Slasher 2 I think she said?), and another show that also stars Paulino Nunes.

Her favourite scene to shoot was the first scene with Simon and Raphael.

She loves her scenes with Magnus because she loves working with Harry. After Harry, her favourite person to work with is Alberto.

Hardest thing to shoot/skill she had to learn whilst being on Shadowhunters was learning to speak with fangs in her mouth. She was pretty bad at speaking, but at least she was better than David. David was awful at first. Trying to do anything (e.g. pouring the bloody marys) whilst she had the long nails was very difficult too.

Another hard thing to shoot was the graveyard scene. Avery was born 5 weeks prior and shooting went till about 7am. She was also wearing heels which isn't easy on grass/mud.

She initially auditioned for the role of Izzy. They then brought her back to audition for Camille, which she got after one audition.

If she could play anyone else in the show it would be Magnus because his character is amazing, but if she's talking about a character she could physically play (e.g. a female) it would be Izzy.

On who is the biggest mother hen on set? Kat. Not in a particularly maternal way, but she always makes everyone - especially new cast members - feel welcome and part of the Shadowhunter family.

Kaitlyn loves British TV. Fave shows include Downton Abbey and Keeping Up Appearances. She also loves the Royal Family and Kate in particular.

Her comfort movie/movie she's seen the most is Monster In Law. She loves Jane Fonda.

One place she'd love to visit? Somewhere in Africa to see safari. However she'd have to wait till Avery is a little older as the flight is so long.

Her favourite animal is an ostrich. She'd love a pet ostrich, she'd name it Betty.

If she could dress Avery up as a Disney princess it would be Pocahontas. For Halloween last year she dressed her up as a gypsy bride, and her friend's son was the gypsy groom.

She loves being a mother cause it makes her feel like a wonder woman. Being able to juggle so much and look after another being is so fulfilling.

Her mother was her role model growing up, so she wants to be the same for Avery.

She doesn't really get starstruck, but when she was on Total Recall she had a moment of being starstruck when she saw Colin Farrell. Her husband joined her at the premiere and when he saw Jessica Biel he totally freaked and asked for a photo. 

Joel

Firstly Joel is like the funniest dorkiest man ever. He reiterated many times that if he does 'make it' and become a super famous actor in the future and becomes a douchebag, he wants us to call him out on it. He wants to always stay down to earth like he is now.

Joel is an actor and a stuntman. Trying to break into acting was difficult: casting directors would see his stunting resume and not really give him a chance. Luckily he's now seen as both and has a few different projects coming up. He's currently doing some work on Fargo.

He initially auditioned for the role of Meliorn, but that then went to Jade. They brought him back a few times and he then landed the role of Alaric.

He loves working across Isaiah, they were both such fun on set. Joel really wanted to pull a prank on Isaiah (saran wrap the toilet bowl in his trailer) but was scared Isaiah would kill him.

He was super freaked when he first heard that Isaiah was cast as Luke. 'That's the Old Spice guy??!!' but got over it pretty quickly. Secret: Isaiah literally is the Old Spice guy in real life.

Joel doesn't really get starstruck, but he once was at the craft table making a sandwich and Gary Oldman was next to him making a sandwich and he didn't know what to do with himself.

His favourite scene on Shadowhunters was when he kidnapped Clary/Simon and put them in the car, because he actually drove the car afterwards. He was told to 'drive safe but make it look dangerous'. He told Kat/Alberto to buckle up and just sped round the corner, as they hadn't buckled up they flew across the seats.

As a stuntman and professional skydiver he's broken like every bone in his body. (Don't quote me on this, but it was like his arms 3 times, every finger, both his wrists and all his ribs on one side?) He was actually in a coma once too. One of his arms has like metal and screws, it always beeps when he goes to the airport in China.

Though he's got a few projects he still professionally skydives and is going back to Toronto to do so very soon. He promised Dom that he'll bring him skydiving soon.

He didn't steal any clothes from the set because Alaric's clothes were 'so lame'. He hated on his dip dye plaid shirt.

He wishes he could've had more fight scenes. As a stuntman he would've loved to have more fight scenes and done all the stunts himself. If he could've redone his death scene it would've been a dramatic battle death.

He didn’t really prepare for the role/read any werewolf lore when he got the part. He feels if he prepares he tends to over prepare and just mess up. Acting is meant to be like real life - in real life we don’t prepare everything we say and have set lines, acting should be as natural as possible. You just have to learn your lines, hit your mark and listen to what others are saying to you.

He'd love to play Aladdin in the live action version. (Someone then started the hashtag #JoelLabelleForAladdin)

Actors he looks up to? Denzel Washington and Shia LaBeouf. (The first because he's an incredible actor, the latter as he's so famous yet his personal life is not in the limelight. Shia is a very 'normal person'.)

Worst/most embarrassing thing that has happened on a set? He was on Reign and was part of a battle scene outside where they all had to run/charge forward. He tripped over a log and fell pretty much into a really expensive camera and completely broke it. He's super clumsy on set and has knocked over/broken many props too.

He was so flattered and humbled about this weekend. It was his first con and 'one of the best things he's ever done.' Speaking to his family about it, his mother and sister were like 'why? why would people want to come and see and take photos with you?' his sister sent him a whatsapp like 'why, you're ugly'.

Jon

Firstly Jon is super poetic and everything he said was just so wonderful, quotable and long winded, so I probably won't be able to capture everything that was said. Like not from the panel, but his autographs took so long. Maxim and Joel were totally making fun of him and were saying he was writing poems for everyone. Every autograph had a little message, he was such a sweetheart (mine said 'you have a wonderful smile').

Jon's read all of the main TMI books and seen the film, he wanted to have his own take on Hodge. He wanted him to be seen as like an older brother/uncle, someone who was close to the Lightwoods. He wasn't a Lightwood though, and he's not part of the Circle, he's just somewhere in between, on his own.

He thinks Hodge felt so guilty after what he did, he was just so surprised and like 'oh no what's happening' when Valentine just took the cup from him.

His favourite Lightwood to work with was Alec, because he gets along really well with Matt.

If Hodge hadn't died yet, Jon would have loved to have done the scene from the books with Sebastian.

He can't say anything because of NDAs, so we don't know if Hodge might be able to come back. Perhaps in a flashback with Jace and Alec?

If Jon could play a superhero it would be Batman. Jon has a few different projects coming up, most recently he filmed a pilot for the CW. It's an adaption from a YA novel, I think he said something about mermaids? They don't know if they'll get picked up or not but from what they've heard, the pilot is being very warmly received.

If Jon wasn't an actor he would just be a writer. He talked a lot about his book and short stories and gave advice to writers. He started writing his book when he was 19 and every now and then he goes back to it and rewrites bits. It's been finished for years, he just always changes bits and doesn't want to publish it yet. When he does publish it, it will be free and proceeds will go to charity. He said he thought about going to an editor or publisher but he doesn't want restrictions. With acting, he is just an actor who is told what to do - by the script, directors, producers.. etc. Writing on the other hand is something personal and truly where he can be free to do whatever he wants.

Jon talked about his mother a lot. She was a 16 year old single mother and daughter to a priest (I think he said, or granddaughter?). He was originally meant to be put up for adoption but once she had him she couldn't let him go. She went to the prospective parents and apologised that she couldn't give him up. She's basically his biggest constant and role model in life, and why he cares and admires women so much. He got really emotional and choked up and I thought I was about to cry. The whole room was just silent.

Jon and his mother moved around a lot when he was younger so he was always the 'new kid' at school. That's how he ended up acting - he once joined a drama class and realised acting was a way he could almost deflect any of the mean things people said about him/how he could make others laugh. He felt like as the new kid he always had to prove himself to others.

So obviously his name is Jon Cor - when he was bullied his nickname was Jon Apple Core, his nickname from friends was Jonny Hardcore.

He talked a while about gaming (unfortunately I can't really remember the games he talked about) but he was saying how he appreciates games as an art form. Some games have beautiful storylines and are way more than just *sings Super Mario theme song*.

He laughed and talked about some of his past projects, including Saw. He said it was such a fun and crazy experience, there was one scene where he was just handcuffed to a chair for a while, whilst his co-star was hung above him. They took her down every few takes and made sure she wasn't hanging for too long, but she still became numb from the waist down and had to go to hospital.

Jon’s all time favourite band are The White Stripes. He also absolutely loves The Doors.

Maxim

Obviously the first thing everyone talked about was Jocelyn's death. Similarly Maxim talked about NDAs so can't confirm or deny if she'll be able to come back at all.

She found out about Jocelyn's death after shooting 2x02.

If Jocelyn were still alive she would've loved to have had more scenes with Isaiah. Following the books, Jocelyn and Luke would've eventually gotten married.

Isaiah is also a great kisser. As on screen kisses are so mechanical they’re often pretty awkward, so it’s always a pleasant surprise when you find an actor who kisses great on screen.

Her favourite episode is the pilot. There was just something so magical about the first episode, everyone was so excited to film and to be part of such a huge project.

Her favourite scene with Kat is the one from the pilot where Jocelyn gives Clary her stele.

She loved the World Inverted episode, she'd love to explore that again. She said when her and Alan were dancing, he kept saying that they should kiss. 'Alan is so in love with me!'

She thought everyone was so great in the AU episode, she though Isaiah was hilarious and Emeraude did such a great job with nerd!Izzy.

Her best friends on set were Alan and Jon.

Maxim only did one audition and got the role. She filmed her audition on her iPhone in a hotel room and got it straight away. (Joel was so amazed, ‘one audition? ONE audition?! one audition on an iphone???’) She submitted her video on a Thursday, got told she got the role on Sunday, flew out on Tuesday and started filming on Thursday. 

Though Jocelyn and Maryse had a rough relationship, Maxim thinks Jocelyn would totally approve of Clary's friendship with Isabelle. She wouldn't judge Izzy on her parents' mistakes, and be happy that Clary has someone so strong to show her the ropes.

On Climon/Clace: Jocelyn would approve of Climon because she knows Simon is like the nicest and sweetest boy who would treat Clary right. (As Maxim she totally does not ship them though). With Clace she at first wouldn't approve as she never wanted Clary to get involved with a Shadowhunter cause she'd be scared he'd turn out like Valentine, but in the end would approve. She'd realise that Jace is a good person who will treat her right and protect her.

She said that Alberto is so much like Simon and is the nicest, sweetest boy. She once asked him if she could adopt him. She wants a small Alberto that she can carry around in her pocket.

When the younger actors were filming the flashback episodes, Maxim spoke to the actress portaying young!Jocelyn. She gave her more physical pointers such as how she moves and how she fights - she held the blade in one hand which was unfortunate for the younger actress as it was super heavy. (Maxim said after the day they shot the flashback in the park where Jocelyn kills the demon from the lake in the park she could barely move her arm.)

She feels like she was the mother hen on set, though she's not particularly serious herself. She played pranks and scared people too. She wanted to hide in Dom's bathroom and jump out at him but she was scared of what he'd do afterwards.

Speaking of pranks, she said her best one ever was on a film that was shot in Mexico. One of the actors was kinda drunk and like asking them to all go out at like 3am when they had a call the next morning, so the next day they told the director/producer. They hired two guys to act as cops and pretend that he did something wrong and would get arrested, they staged a whole argument between the cops and director in Spanish (the actor doesn't speak it so was just standing there scared). They convinced him he was going to get arrested and wouldn't be allowed back to Canada. This lasted two hours.

She also pulled a pretty harsh prank on her mother. Her mother always used to buy the lottery, and one day when she was out she asked Maxim/her husband to write down the numbers for her. Maxim and her dad decided it would be fun to pretend she won a lot of money, found her ticket and wrote down 5 of the 6 numbers. Her mother thought she had won like $250,000 dollars and was totally freaking out, then they told her they lied.

Maxim is a scuba diver. She’d totally recommend scuba divers to go to Belize.

She loves British music. Currently she’s loving Adele, Ed Sheeran and Coldplay.

And finally just a few notable thoughts that came up in the group discussion with Maxim/Jon/Joel (Kaitlyn had to leave early to fly back to Canada):

Which character would win a THG battle? Everyone agreed Alaric would die pretty soon, it was a toss up between Jocelyn and Hodge though (brains vs. brawl)

What weapon would they use in a THG fight? Joel said a machine gun. Jon said a pen, because the ‘pen is mightier than the sword’. He then went on a ramble about how he’d just do small things like steal Maxim’s toothbrush and slowly make her think that she’s going insane. Joel and Maxim pretended to fall asleep as he discussed his plans.

Favourite colour? Maxim and Joel both said blue. They think perhaps because it reminds them of the sea/sky respectively (scuba diver/skydiver). Joel’s is red.

What crazy colour would they dye their hair (in real life or for a role)? Joel - blue (because it’s his fave colour), Maxim - platinum, Hodge - purple (perhaps for a punky dude who steals things? Again, he went on a roll and Maxim/Joel just started laughing)

Spirit animal? Joel - pig (I’m so lazy), Maxim - dolphin, Jon - lion

And that’s about it for my write up. It’s 11:30 and I’m super tired, hopefully this all makes sense! I wrote half of this whilst on the tube home from the con, so if there any grammatical mistakes I apologise. If I think of any more I’ll update this, feel free to ask me any qs! And check out my forsaken tag, I’ll upload more photos later.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! xx