#and it is always from people who can pull 100 notes on a shitpost. Like... come on guys lmao

[alltimefail-sims]

Maaaaan I typed up this kinda long ass post about the aesthetic conversation; not that I think anyone would particularly care about what *I* have to say on the subject, but I digress. I'll just mind my business 😂

[heavenlyexiled]

                       AAAAAA WE DID IT!!! 100 FOLLOWERS!!!

i cannot tell you guys how long i’ve waited for this to happen! not even for the numbers, but to feel like that many people wanted to interact with my original character! i’ve struggled with this blog for nearly two years & i have wanted to delete this blog after months of having little to no activity. thank goodness i didn’t! i know original characters have a pretty bad rep and are memes to a lot of people in the rpc, i’ve struggled with that as well, along with so much anon hate for several months and i just...i’ve swallowed plenty of words to lash out with. i honestly don’t deserve any of you. you guys are so kind to me and i don’t know what kind of good i’ve done to deserve all of you.

i know i don’t talk with a lot of you who are mutuals with me, but i just don’t want to scare you guys off. that tends to happen when i message someone, they’ll just....soft block me which i completely understand and hold no grudges! i still love & respect those guys to this day!! enough with my mopey shit, time to thank some very lovely people.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@antibuttons - my wife, the original to my character, the cheese to my mac. i fucking love you so much. and the way we FIRST met seems so unreal and that now we’re basically wives and fucking shitpost together despite me BULLYING YOU WAY BACK IN 2013 I STILL AM SO SORRY TO THIS DAY I WAS SO RUDE BACK THEN. you give me confidence when i sometimes question if i should keep this blog running or not.  you always tell me to just keep going, to calm down and just try to hold on NOW LOOK AT ME. LMAOOO but thank you for being with me ever since day one.

@wxlriider - MY OTHER WIFE. YOU ARE SO FUCKING PRECIOUS YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND your art actually gives me air, i breathe it in every time i see it. your writing??? i’d kill 3000000 men for you to keep writing. you are so sweet and kind and honestly at first I DIDN’T KNOW HOW OT APPROACH YOU, I DIDN’T FUCKIN KNOW SHIT I WAS SO SCARED OF YOU BUT YOU’RE MY OTHER WIFE AND I WANNA CRY

@prototypc - oh my gOD you don’t know how much i want to thank you for accepting my oc. you were the FIRST d.bh blog to actually follow me back after i tried to reach out to so many blogs and i remember getting the notification of you following me back, i was sitting in bed and i just, stared at my phone, staring at your url and i just screamed and then cried. you have been so kind to me, you say you like elizabeth all the time and that???? makes my heart soar with glee. i know we haven’t known each other long, but i owe you so much. i am so grateful to have you here.

@risea9 - i know our messages have been memes, toe slapping and the only time i actually talked with you was when i was trashed, but i want you to know i appreciate you so much, we haven’t roleplayed together and i hope one day we can???? i just suck at coming up with ideas, but i admire your writing, there’s something so unique about it and it just, pulls me in. i love reading your threads i see on my dash, your replies to memes from others, you write markus with so much passion and it shows, and i just----want to hug you???

@codebreak - OKAY. I KNOW WE HAVEN’T TALKED REALLY MUCH BUT I DO LOVE YOU AND YOUR BLOG. i think you were the one d.bh blog to  follow me first. and ngl, i was confused. like???? i’m an oc???? DO U HAVE THE RIGHT NUMBER????? and i will never forget that because it just spoke volumes to me. i’m not used to someone following me first and it’s a blog i’ve never seen or heard of before. so you do have a spot in my heart because of it. and i’m sorry i don’t message you that much, but i’d like to! i’m just very shy! but i love your war with crabs. made me almost cough up a hernia it was so funny to read that stuff on my dash.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i know this post got long, sue me. BUT TO ALL OF YOU. i’m so sorry i don’t message you guys like at all and if i do, we don’t continue talking. i’m not good with keeping conversations with people i’m getting to know. got that juicy social phobia----but i’m trying to reach out you know? but you guys don’t know how bad i want to throw some ideas, some notes, headcanons, plots, etc with you and our muses! i just----am very insecure since elizabeth is an OC and people are touchy about that, and i completely understand! i just wish it didn’t have such a strong hold on me like it does...BUT!!! I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FOLLOWERS. you guys are what keep me here and i just----LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

[jhaernyl]

So, I stopped reading perhaps two posts ago, by the time I finish writing this maybe five posts ago, because I need to get this shit off my chest.

(Because Alas Going To Work does not mean someone actually stops the shit posting. It's really just a convenient "Mic Dropped, I Am Out Bitches" ending to a shitty fucking post that shits all over the people who have been in the corner and you have been mistreating, while setting you up to be the victim of those bad people who will not stay around for you to shit on them after you already used them, got your back patted by and then ignored in favor of bemoaning how alone and victimized you are).

@poplitealqueen (because when you talk about someone you should do them the favor to @ them rather than just drop their names thus calling them out without immediately alerting them you called them out personally) how about you stop with this fucking woe-is-me bullshit?

Woe is not fucking you.

You are a decently known author. You are not deadcat-famous but you did not spend more ten years writing a fic through huge life changes, sticking by it and determinedly trudging on without unleashing a constant stream of Witness My Self-Victiminization posts. You are known enough in the circles of the people who like the kind of fics you write that people answer to your posts and send you asks, ask you thing and show you support, as well as reading and kudo-ing your fics. Maybe less than they once did, but fandom is fickle, always has been fickle and always will be.

People have their own lives and they move on and then sometimes they come back and sometimes they do not. Some fandoms get their heyday and then the more dedicated people stay on and then the show goes off the air, the comic stops publishing, the canon is completely erased in favor of a new one and people get interested in things that offer new content. That's life and it might suck but hey, darling sweet little girl, IT SUCKS THE SAME FOR EVERYBODY.

You know how it feels to sit down with someone, give them complete support and try your damn all to make them see the good sides of things and comfort them by saying that people will be there for them, only to log on and look at their account and find them answering asks and having long convos with people and getting funny posts that get 7k notes (the Luke-in-the-tlj-trailer one) while your posts are big when they get over 80 notes in a few weeks of activity (and only when boosted by other people with more popularity than the OP) and when you publish memes no one gives a fuck about asking about your OCs?

No.

Because you are the person moaning and bitching while having it better and I am the person who gave you support while being fully aware of my much less active and noticed blog. I am the person who sent you asks and reblogged your memes (you know, the ones I later on see you say SEND SOMETHING IF YOU REBLOG about but you never answer when it's me blogging them?). You are the person who does not see reality as it is because it's not convenient to them.

Yes, I said convenient.

Why?

Because you are the kind of person who likes to, as we say in Italy, bask in their own broth.

By which I mean: you are milking being the Depressed Artist Who Nobody Likes shtick for all it's worth, hooking people up on your drama and using them (like you used my Lee, before you dropped her like hot coals once Senpai FlameThrower Noticed You) only to later on shit on them (like the bullshit you said about me not having reached out for you in weeks, which I can disproves with fucking screencaps of our chat, darling, so do not try to pull the "I Am Bad But She Abandoned Me [So Clearly I Am The Victim But You Are Supposed To Get That From Contest So I Can Be The Victim When The Other Party Gets Angry]" move).

I am pretty sure you are not aware of it and people have trouble either telling it to you (it is a brutal thing to say, made even more brutal by the fact that it's true) or realizing what is going on, but you *are* doing it. Oh boy are you ever doing it.

It does not matter what other people do.

It does not matter that I was inspired for a few days straight to work on fanarts for you.

It does not matter how many people send you asks and support and take time out of their own lives to hold your hand and put their arm around your shoulders and support you.

You are still constantly posting that nobody likes you, nobody cares about you, nobody gives you notes on the posts you like, people do not answer to your posts.

Except that when I get around to seeing things (after I sleep, do my fucking job babysitting two kids I cannot take my eyes off of lest they kill themselves or each other and actually spend time with my mom and fiancee) I do but I get no answer back from you, I suppose because I am somewhat contractually obliged to do it with you but the opposite does not apply to you when you can spend your time posting depressing Mood Things rather than engaging into further interaction.

Except that when I get around to checking your blogs (after the same things as above), I like all the stuff I can look at without being spoiled for things I want to see.

Except that I kept reaching out in the chat and being met with silence for days on your end.

And, again, all of that does not matter at all, not to you, because being Mood Depressed Unloved Artist is more important than actually getting off your ass and making the changes you need to make.

You say "I have resolved to be positive" and then it's day after day after day of depressing Mood Posts and NOBODY LOVES ME.

People love you, you just make it hard for some of that love to prosper, given how you do not nurture it, you do not work with the other person, you prefer to shitpost about being unloved.

You know why people unfollow you?

Because you are a negative fucking person to be around and because even after they have given you time, attention, support, the notes you wants, the kudos you want, you still make shitty call out posts that allow you to play the victim and react to them cutting your negativity out of your life with the classic Fandom Shit Move of "Way To Abandon The Person Having a Breakdown."

Darling, I know you told me you have maybe one breakdown per month but I need you to sit down and listen to this.

You have a breakdown per week, sometimes twice per week.

Many of these breakdowns lead you to shit even more than your usual on the people who are there for you.

Having any kind of mental illness does not excuse the behavior you have been exhibiting or making your actions acceptable.

I am also not contractually obliged to let you spew bullshit about me and still stick by you. I signed no piece of paper or clicked ok on any internet document that said "I have to put up with you whining about notes and Patreon not expanding fast enough and people not giving your due for the work you do, when my Patreon never went past three people and 15 dollars and you get a little bit more than 100 dollars per month".

I am not trying for sainthood here, I am not going to just stand by and smile and nod and pat your back while you spew things that hurt me in public rather than reach out to me and talk about it.

Like I said we could and should do? Like I encouraged you to do? Like I told you that you could do at any point and we would talk things out and resolve them? You remember that chat or has it been conveniently removed from your memories so you can justify your behavior to yourself? In that case, please dear, do scroll up our chat and check it for yourself. It's a conversation we actually did have.

You are 21, not 11 and the kind of call post you did today was uncalled for and very primary school of you. Shitting over people on public while setting you up as Poor Victim Miss Pops unless people haste to run at your side and declare their friendship to you is not how friendships get mended, it's petty emotional manipulation meant to make other people feel guilty and force them to come to you in a way that puts you in a position of power and (fake) superior moral ground.

You do not have the superior moral ground and I am not giving you that power.

You can either get your head out of your ass, stop being someone who is constantly negative and reach out to me on your own, ready to meet on equal ground to mend what could have been the beginning or an actual friendship or you can play the victim further, keep down the road you are on and enjoy basking in your broth.

I will not unfollow you, I will keep reading your posts and liking the ones I like, I will keep enjoying your writing, I will keep being happy when new fic from you shows up in my inbox, I will keep giving you kudos and I will keep supporting you as an artist on Patreon and both my email and my chat on tumbrl will always be open to you (with the understanding that I will answer you when I get around to have the time for it depending on the day I am having). If inspiration strikes again, I will make more fanarts.

Have a good work day.

[terminalpolitics]

A Short History of My Blog

I made this blog a few years back so that I could talk to various friends from an MMO after the game forums got overmoderated and complaining about racist behavior by a player earned you a ban.

In the beginning, I mostly used it to discuss things about that video game and to socialize or reblog pictures of charming cats. My friends would always cheer me on when I defended Obama or talked about how morally reprehensible Republicans were. They were also very happy with my call-out posts in which I archived evidence of sexual predation or bigotry by members of our small MMo community.

I noticed then, though, that when the creeper in our community was popular –or worse, one of their buddies– they suddenly took a much more “tolerant” veiw of when things like racial slurs were really in bad taste.

While posting more politics in defense of Obama and against Republican obstruction, I ran into Tumblr’s white supremacist and neo-Nazi community. Now, I had been antifascist for years and I have warned for a long time against the rise of the far-right and the dangers of rightwing extremism – in person as well as online.

So, I got into a lot of fights with Naziblr, and I got a lot of notes from folks (mostly anonymous) who thought I was being “unfair” or who wished my blog “went back to how it used to be”. And because I did feel bad springing Naziism on people’s dash, I made up a special tag for my anti-Nazi posts so that folks could filter it out and just enjoy MMO talk and cat photos.

A similar thing happened when I wanted to talk about Putin, Russia’s anti-LGBT bigotry, and the resurgence of the far-right globally. It got to be a bit much for my followers so I had to make a special tag again.

As I became more and more disgusted and realized that Obama was not the progressive we had voted for, and I began to criticize the United States more – attacking fuck-ups like the thankfully-late Chris Kyle, I got less and less “^^this”s from my friends.

When the Democratic primary happened and I started posting in support of Bernie Sanders, my friends (who were largely with her) started vague-posting anti-Sanders responses to my posts, but acted all “I don’t know what you mean” when I tried to discuss it directly. So, I (you may have guessed it) made a unique tag for my pro-Bernie Sanders posts so that people could block them. I also made a separate unique tag for my criticism of Hillary Clinton, and used #politics so if somebody wanted to ignore the whole election, they could block that too.

Then, having not really been connected to my MMO community in awhile and being bored of blogging in general. I shutdown my blog for a couple of months.

When I restarted it, I changed the name and informed everyone that it was 100% political from there on out. Bernie had lost the rigged Democratic Primary and I was now supporting Jill Stein and the Green Party as they were the only progressive act in town.

Well, that was completely unacceptable.

Though they knew I was planning on voting third party, my friends repeatedly reblogged memes and shitposts insulting third party voters. When I responded to these posts, they usually gaslit me and said I was actually attacking them by objecting to their post that insulted me.

And because I was voting for the wrong white women, they smeared me as being racist and sexist – in vague-posts or MMO chats of course.

At the same time, they posted ridiculous and objectively sexist things about Jill Stein. When I responded negatively, they lamented what I had “turned into” and called Jill Stein a “cunt” and “bitch” and added that I was a “pussy.” Yet, somehow I was the person being sexist here.

When I called out the clique who were responsible for the trolling, my friends again tried to gaslight me and acted like it was a coincidence or something that they all frequently dogpiled my posts.

In some cases, I asked people who obviously hated me to unfollow me and they refused because “Um, I kinda read some of the news you post even though I think you are a scumfuck.” So I blocked them.

Then, I just blocked everyone who liked the “Jill Stein is a cunt” post and suddenly about 90% of the trolling that my admittedly controversial blog received dropped off.

While blocked, whenever I made a post about something like Clinton’s complicity in the right-wing coup in Honduras and subsequent assassination of activists, there would be a spate of mirror-posts arguing that Rightwing coups were actually progressive. And I’d be told about it by our mutual friends.

When I didn’t respond, a “friend of a friend” made a parody of my tumblr called @terminallystupidpolitics that’s profile read something like “hurr durr Jill Stein mah white privilege.” I was told about that by another mutual friend.

And of course when Trump won it was my mostly my fault according to my friends. But I had blocked them, so I only heard echoes of it when mutual friends reblogged their sentiments.

I don’t tell you this because “Oh, I’ve had it so rough!” I haven’t. A few appleheads hating on you over politics comes with the territory. Even losing friends over politics is completely normal – especially when the politics reveals that your friend was only ever concern-trolling when it came to social justice.

The reason I tell you this is because I tried to self-censorship and I tried not to rock the boat, but that wasn’t enough. It isn’t enough that you hide your position or just keep your social justice on the downlow.

The very fact that you are committed to social justice is a threat to people who secretly feel that your committment makes theirs look bad. They can’t allow you to exist even on the margins because if someone says “I won’t compromise on this issue” and they will compromise, they suddenly feel bad about themselves.

And when people feel bad about themselves, the easy option is for them to take it out on someone else. 

Rather than recommitting to social justice which is hard, they can just discredit the person who is more real than they are – you see this done constantly by the Democratic Party on a much larger level.

Self-censorship gets you nowhere and just stifles your message. Your friends don’t want your civility, they want your conformity. Only when you stop having opinions outside the party line will you be allowed back into the fold. “Agree-to-disagree” is just shit they say when they are losing the argument and smearing you instead behind your back.

You can only be true to your own beliefs. You gain nothing by moderating your beliefs so that your friends will be more accepting of your difference – it is not your difference they value, it is your likemindedness. They want their biases and values confirmed and justified. They don’t want you to fuck up the bubble by offering an alternative.

These days I feel much happier being able to post what I want without pulling any punches. I like to think that I am expressing myself openly and honestly and people can either take it or leave it.

I do still see comments reblogged by mutuals from folks that gaslit and smeared me, but it seems pretty distant now – like we were all different people. Or maybe we just got a better look at each other.

I value the work that people are doing on tumblr in spreading truly progressive and antifascist messages. I think that a lot of good can come from that. If you think to yourself, hey, maybe I should start a political blog, my advice is to not worry about what your friends think – if they can’t handle you talking about social justice then they were pretty shitty friends to start.

As Trump consolidates power and the press and political system normalize his bigotry, it is more important than ever that we speak our minds. We cannot hold back because of society’s centrist propagnda, or because it might upset our friends, or because the Democratic Party tells us we aren’t allowed to criticize them.

We need to be real, and that is what I aim to do with this blog for the rest of my time here and I hope you will join me.

[dearkyeom]

check in tag! tagged by @xuseokgyu thank u belle hehe tagging @kyeomshine @jonghan @scoupsy​ @seohoshi​ and.. caratblr... ♥ also i’m so sorry if you’ve already done this i’m very out of the loop LOL

1. Why did you choose your url?

“dearly beloved” by yoko shimomura aka the main theme to kingdom hearts is one of my favorite songs. the name is pretty too, so i would pick it up as usernames/urls wherever i could. most of the times it’s taken, so i try to incorporate either “dearly” or “beloved” into different words or phrases. so dokyeom + dearly = dearkyeom. incidentally it also happened to be the name of a dokyeom fansite...

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them

this is a side! i have a few private ones for storing reblogs, and an exo one that is now inactive. i actually moved it to a different main tho bc i wanted to tidy up my main here.

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

february of 2010 apparently... [stares off into the distance]

4. Do you have a queue tag?

q: just queue it! which is a pun for booseoksoon’s “just do it!” ... speaking of which, booseoksoon comeback when? that said i rarely queue posts bc i’m lazy...

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

a school friend of mine introduced it to me. i was mostly using blogger and sometimes like xanga (i know) before that and wanted to try a new blogging platform. i actually really just used it to keep in touch with friends and write original posts, like about my day and thoughts. then i got into k-pop shortly after and it was all downhill from there. LMAO

6. Why did you choose your icon?

seokmin and minghao qcute and finger heart and red. good combo.

7. Why did you choose your header?

seokmin and minghao cute and seokmin playing guitar and minghao being fond. good combo.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

LOL it’s this one gif set i very lazily made in literally like 10-15 minutes of woozi choreo parallels between don’t wanna cry and fear. i did not think it would get more than 100 notes at most.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

xkit mutual checker hasn’t been working for my sideblogs so i’m not really sure tbh. :pensive: ... definitely more than... 10..?

10. How many followers do you have?

on this blog, 811 which is wild to me. it’s the most followers i’ve had on anything!

11. How many people do you follow?

90. i used to follow way more but like sometimes too much content stresses me out? LOL just anxiety things. some people i don’t actually follow but i check their blog regularly!

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

does my “my favorite genre of music is dokyeom outsinging the back track in live performances” post count? or the “hey can you pull up google maps i got lost in minghao’s eyes” one fdsfsdfds

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

on average maybe like... 1-3 hours? my activity is sporadic tho bc it depends on what my brain has latched onto for the week.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

no, i don’t think so interestingly enough. i’ve argued with people on twitter tho maybe like three times in my life and i’m still recovering from the psychic damage to this day. i hate twitter.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

shrugs. i could go into an incredibly nuanced take on this, but i am not gonna Bother. i think it’s good to spread important information. does anyone ever need to reblog a post bc some random internet user told them to? that’s up to you.

16. Do you like tag games?

yes, even if i don’t always do them bc my brain said no, i actually do really enjoy reading people’s responses to games like this... it’s the socializing without actually directly socializing.

17. Do you like ask games?

yes, but i rarely choose to be the askee bc i... don’t think i usually have anything particularly interesting to say?? like i don’t mean it in a self deprecating way i just am like.. vibing... that or i’m too afraid to speak my full opinion on something bc i think i can be kinda harsh for most people’s liking LOOOOL. but i love sending people asks when they reblog ask games.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

none really? iiasha and kyeomblr have both made posts that got spread quite far though HAHA

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

they all have my affection meter maxed out ofc hahaha. no but seriously you guys makes such great content it’s always a joy of mine to come on here and just see y’all existing... it’s nice.

20. Tags?

:)