#and it does not mean we should not stand with and support the victims!!!

[caspergs]

every time someone famous is outed as being a shitty person theres people going “this is why you shouldn’t idolize celebrities,” “why are you sad that a bad person is being exposed as a bad person,” like PLEASE just let people be upset that someone they liked sucks

[cheriladycl01]

Ghost - Oscar Piastri x UnknownDriver! Reader Part 3

Plot: Reader is the first female F1 driver of the century, however no-one knows that as you are a ghost on the grid. You started in 2022, coming in P12 in the championship. You get moved to Red Bull Racing in 2023 with the off year for Sergio Perez.

Standing up on the podium, not being able to do anything as you watched Oscar run off was torture. You had to stay there while your national anthem played that should have been amazing considering it was you, Lewis and Lando all up there together.

And of course, there were no breaks for you afterwards. Everyone wanted you, from SkySports, to F1, to Netflix. Everyone was throwing questions at you and asking how different your achievements feel now knowing that your the first woman to have completed many of them.

You were fine answering them, because like they said. All of your previous achievements were now bigger than they were as Ghost. People could tell that you weren't fully with them, you were a little spacey and sometimes struggled with hearing and answering the questions.

Most of them put it down to the post race fuzz of the win and revealing who you were, but upon getting to the Sky Sports Team who consisted of Jenson Button, Nico Rosberg, Natalie Pinkham and Danica Patrick questions turned sour.

"So Y/N aside from racing we caught light of Oscar Piastri's quick depart after the reveal, any insight on this?" Danica asks, making you look down.

"I don't think these questions are necessary" Jenson says just as the Red Bull PR manager was about to ask for racing related questions only.

"Yes please stick to racing questions only" the Red Bull PR backs up, nodding before taking a step back. You look back up, straight to Nico who had a soft look on his face.

"I'm just interested, you raced for Alpine last year when he was a reserve driver... for Alpine and you've been promoted to Red Bull this year while Piastri's made the move to Mclaren. Can't help but wonder if its underlying sexism that's made him this mad, you all cant deny he was blunt and rude in his interview with us earlier" Danica pushes and you head snaps up. You feel a hand on your shoulder as if to stop you from what your about to say but you go ahead anyway.

"I've hurt a dear friend. So how dare you stand there and try to victimize me, when he is the one that I've hurt. He knew me as Ghost's assistant and media manager... we were close and I've not been truthful to him for obvious reasons. So don't stand there and try to make him out to be a misogynistic twat when he isn't. I don't know what you experienced in NASCAR Danica but in F1 all I've experienced today is love and support. Just because your sport sucks doesn't mean mine does" you snap, and recoil shocked that you'd just said all of that. She looks at you also in shock, Jenson and Nico were trying to stop their laughter.

"Well, some strong opinions there from Y/N Y/L/N" Jenson says as he watches you turn away and walk off. You were done with interviews for the day. You just wanted to find Oscar and talk to him now.

"Lando! Lando" you shout as you see the curly haired boy ahead of you walking into the Mclaren motorhome.

"Hey, Y/N or should i say Ghost" he smiles before pulling you into a hug.

"I was not expecting that bombshell today, and I will admit I'm sorry for assuming you were some ugly guy... your very obviously not" he laughs.

"Where's Oscar" you ask, you didn't want to seem rude but of course he was your priority right now.

"Y/N, I don't think its a good idea to see him right now. I think maybe just wait for him to come to you. He's upset and" he starts but you look him dead in the eye.

"He upset me too, he just ran off... at my first race win" you say as selfish as it was... but he also ruined that experience for you.

"I know, but you did like lie to him for just under 2 years" Lando says softly not wanting to rattle your already unstable cage of self hatred.

"And what was i supposed to do Lando, tell him a secret that Red Bull had me sign an NDA over and break my contract and risk loosing my seat?" you ask, hoping he would start to understand.

"Look Y/N you really should go..." Lando pushes looking around the area you were currently in. He put a hand on your lower back as to guide you back out, but you planted yourself still.

"No, I'm not leaving till i talk to him" you grunt.

"Y/N I'm telling you this as your friend and your co-worker. You need to go" he says, you'd actually never seen his eyes this serious before and it had your head cocking to the side in confusion.

As your about to ask him why the hell he's being so twitchy, two people stumble out of the next room a little disheveled and both laughing. You eyes lock on them.

"O-Oscar?" you ask in shock, the girl looks up at him confused and his face turns red but also a sour expression comes onto his face.

Before any of them can say anything your turning away from them, everything feels slow motion, all the voices around you blur and your heartbeat comes erratic.

You couldn't understand why it hurt so much, the thought of him not even for a moment being happy for you up on a podium that he come here to be with some other girl ... or was it because in the time you'd spent with him you'd fallen for the racer.

You round the corner, stumbling behind the Mclaren motorhome so that you could just breath. You crouch down, your head leaning back against the side.

"Fucks sake" you say to yourself, once you'd calmed yourself from the initial shock you fully sat down on the metal edging outside the Mclaren motorhome.

"Y/N?" you hear a voice ask, your head peaks up and you spot Alex and Logan.

"Oh, hey guys. Great Race today!" you smile.

"Why are you just sat outside the Mclaren motorhome?" Logan asks raising an eyebrow at you.

"Oh, erm no reason. I just got lost on my way back to Red Bull" you smile standing up and walking to the long strip and turning left.

"Your still clearly lost, Red Bull's that way" Alex says pointing to the right hand side, that you weren't facing.

"Right, yeah i knew that" you smile, turning round and scuttering off the other way.

To say that the UK was the start of something spectacular was an understatement. You didn't go out and celebrate that night, you stayed in with your family.

The next race was Hungary where you proceeded to take the win away from Max in the last 3 laps, being on the fresher tires. They asked you to let Max take the win but you begged for them to let you fight it out. You shared the podium with Max and Lando, in Spa you came second, sharing the podium with Max and Charles and in The Netherlands you came 4th.

Throughout all of this Oscar hadn't reached out to you. You'd kept in contact with Lando, asking how he was and what had been going on. However Monza changed things.

An article came out about an interview Oscar had done about you and how you hadn't spoken to him since. He hadn't spoken very nicely about you when all you'd done was stick up for him. You guys got into a massive argument outside the garages that of course people caught on camera.

You had a really bad qualifying, the car just didn't have pace and your mind wasn't in the right place. So you were starting P14 on the grid, after a cry to Christian that you were so overwhelmed and him assuring you that it was today that really mattered.

You had turned off everything when you got in the car on the Sunday. No thoughts in your head just the racing. On the start you managed to get yourself to P12 overtaking Liam and Nico right of the bat.

"Excellent start Y/N lets keep pushing"

Martin Bundle - I have to say that Y/N is incredible with these races where she starts down in the back of the grid, and she gets those amazing starts where she slips in the middle of the two drivers ahead and is able to confidently get herself up too places

"Okay, and Alonso are ahead, you have DRS" your engineer tells you, and you are able to overtake Yuki who doesn't go as aggressively into the chicane as you do. You have a little spin but recover enough to pull up aside Alonso on the straight, going for the overtake.

"Amazing Y/N, that's P10 right now. Keep pushing"

Eventually you were left fighting Carlos, Max clipped a tire and was now down in 4th fighting with Charles.

"Y/N this has been a fantastic race, from P14 up to P2, Carlos is 1.8 second ahead. Lets get him and bring home a double podium. Max is fighting for P3 right now. 5 laps to go" he advises.

"Tell him to speed up, I'll give him DRS we can overtake Sainz together so its a 1.2" you advise looking seeing the Ferrari behind you. You slow down on the hairpin, breaking early, which Charles didn't expect where he was concentrating on defending from Max. You speed up, watching as he spins out a little leaving room for Max on the inside.

"Okay, Sainz has sped up there's now a 2.6 second gap"

"Copy that" you say, Max was using your slip stream, but didn't go for the overtake, you easily defended from Charles together while gaining on the other Ferrari.

"Okay last two laps, Sainz, 0.3 second gap"

"Yeah i can fucking tell I'm riding his rear end" you say, the minute you get onto the straight you and Max both go either side of Sainz, sandwiching him in as your about to go into turn 11. He breaks early falling back leaving you to take the optimal racing line and get ahead of Max.

"Is Max fighting this last lap?" you ask.

"He's been told is free to fight. Mode push and bring us another win" your race engineer advises, you breeze through the final lap, it was a close call but you came first.

"Y/N Y/L/N winner of the 2023 Italian Grand Prix" your race engineer says a big grin coming onto your face as you flip up the visor holding your fist up as you see all the Red Bull crew cheering for you on the fencing.

"Where did Oscar place?" you ask, you hadnt thought about him up until now. Even as you passed the orange 81 car, it was just another car then.

"Not a good race for Piastri, P12 behind Lawson"

"Okay. Thank you for the great drive today. Thank you Christian" you say before preparing yourself for the podium.

Would Oscar be there?

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle

[talesofliia]

Can we please stop downplaying the struggle of one suffering people to show support for another?

My heart breaks at the atrocious news of Israel demolishing Palestine and the suffering of its people. And as a Ukrainian from Kharkiv, which Russia is desperately trying to wipe off the face of the earth, it also breaks my heart to see people claim that what’s happening in Ukraine isn’t enough to call it what it is – a genocide. How many more Ukrainians need to die for these people to acknowledge the reality of Russia’s actions? Are the destroyed Ukrainian cities, towns, and villages not enough? Must our entire country be in flames before they recognize Russia’s actions in Ukraine as genocide?

We, Ukrainians, are often perceived as either too “privileged” because we receive some humanitarian and military support, or not significant enough to garner widespread concern. If the same thing were happening in a Western European country, immediate action would be taken. Yet, we’re just Ukrainians, and it seems we matter less. Additionally, our struggle is constantly compared to that of Palestinians, and we’re criticized for seeking continued support.

Claiming that Ukrainians suffer “less” does nothing to help Palestinians. How is accusing us of trying to live our lives while missiles and drones are headed our way considered activism? There must be a better way to support one oppressed nation without minimizing the struggles of another.

People call out others for going to Starbucks but purchase from companies still operating in Russia. They hold Israelis accountable but welcome Russians, claiming they aren’t responsible for their government’s actions. They shout “Free Palestine” but ask Ukrainians to lay down arms and “make peace with Russia”. They boycott movies and series where actors condemned the Hamas attack on Israel but celebrate Russian filmmakers. They condemn the Israeli army for burning Palestinian books but continue to read Russian literature, claiming it’s beyond politics.

This world’s hypocrisy and attempts to blame victims and justify aggressors are disheartening. Supporting one oppressed nation should not mean diminishing the struggles of another. It’s not obligatory to show support for every oppressed nation in the world, but using one’s suffering to undermine the significance of another’s is harmful.

Keep supporting Palestine, keep donating, and raising your voices for them because their lives matter and they need all the help they can get. But do NOT drag Ukrainians down, deny the genocide we experience daily, or question our right to fight for our existence as a free nation. Do not let Russia destroy us completely. There’s still time, and the least you can do is not give our aggressor any advantage. Stand with justice. Stand with Ukraine. Do better.

[decolonize-the-everything]

If Americans shouldn't vote for Biden what should they do instead? Vote for trump? Vote third party? Not vote?

(I know most people would probably ask you this in bad faith but I'm just really distraught at the state of politics and keep hearing people say "don't say he's the only option and don't support him" but there's never alternatives given and I don't know what an effective alternative could even be)

I think a good place to start that a lot of people are comfortable with is probably volunteering and petitioning for 3rd parties to make sure they Do have ballot access next year. So that ppl Can vote for someone else next year.

And yes, vote 3rd party this election. Or don't vote at all.

Besides that? Learn some basic defense and join protests. Support encampments and do things leftists say like join a union and organize your own community whether it be your schoolmates, coworkers, or all your friends and their friends.

Y'all see the news right?

Censorship and propaganda are rampant right now, along with transphobia and racism and even Nazis are back. Tensions are high to say the least and everyone is worked up about the election and Israel.

Figure out what you wish someone else would do and then do it. Is that de-arresting protesters? Organizing a bail fund, fighting cops and throwing tear gas back at them when they make things violent?

There's a lot to fight against and even more to fight for. Find what's worth fighting for (to you) and actually start fighting for it. Don't let cops or your principal or boss or anyone else stop you.

I think one of the most important things we can do right now is remind the government and those that serve the government that they won't take our rights so easily. That if they want to silence us then we're gonna make sure it'll hurt more than it'll help. That we can and will fight back.

And that's why it's so vital that we show them we won't settle either. We won't vote for Biden.

We settled for Clinton and look where that got us.

Does it feel like voting for more and more conservative blue candidates actually helped prevent harm? Or does it feel like you were manipulated and lied to?

Gonna be real, it feels like the government is a manipulative abuser and we're all it's gaslit victims who don't want to believe things are that bad just cuz he killed someone else instead of us.

Which is like...it doesn't mean good things for us that our government could do that and we'd rationalize it, you know?

How we want to get out of this fucked up dynamic is up to us. We work, we pay taxes, we listen to the governments rule of law, and still our government won't codify rights, our trans friends are being abused by the government, or it's banning apps with censorship. And the whole time it's telling us to shut up and be grateful it isn't worse.

Abusers never ever tell you that it could be better too. And they don't want you to know that. Cuz then you leave. And if you leave then they can't manipulate and abuse you.

So yeah. They'll shit on us for doing Anything that doesn't result in us staying, for doing anything that results in us choosing our own well being instead of theirs.

But that's what we need to do.

And you need support before you do that. That's what organizing is. It's like calling the besties who hype you up to leave your shitty ex. Except it's a bunch of people agreeing to support each other when they choose to stand up for something. Organizing is making sure there are people watching back and making sure if one of you is harmed or arrested that there'll be someone there to help bail you out.

The more people you have to bail you out, the less you have to worry about being outnumbered, spoken over, or physically stopped with force.

So yeah. Do that.

Organize. I hope I stressed that enough. The people on our front lines need us to be there for them as much we need Them to keep fighting for us.

Also since I'm here: make sure you and your friends don't talk shit about protesters even when they get violent and break shit. It's not abuse when the victim finally hits back at their abuser, it's self defense.

[radfemverity]

So I made this meme but then gave it some more thought. I don't in any way want to understate the severity in social pressure that exists for women and girls to conform to hyperfeminine beauty standards, or sexualise themselves. I don't want to be someone who pretends it's so easy to drop beauty standards. For some women, for example those in poverty, with jobs where they face punishment for noncompliance (I've heard instances of waitresses being told off by their senior managers for not wearing. makeup and heels), and they don't want to risk being unable to pay the bills at the end of the month, it is not simple, at least not in their present situation.

However, this isn't about them. This is about the self-admittedly miserable women white collar office staff, minimum wage fast food staff, housewives, etc, who have created an entire genre of TikToks and Instagram reels where they make comedy out of their own misery by conforming to beauty standards.

The beautician who gloats that she cannot keep up with the beauty standards of her own job, and the industry she upholds, such as being hairless utterly everywhere, all day everyday, even though pubic hair grows back and becomes visible within 24 hours of shaving yet remains too short to remove.

The college student who laughs about how waking up at 6AM to put on a full face of makeup, in the baddie Instaglam style that she would pass as a Kardashian in, but it's worth the sleep deprivation because god forbid a 19 year old woman leave the house bare faced.

The family vlogger and housewife who complains that shaving her body from head to toe while standing up in the shower for 45 minutes makes her dizzy and faint, yet she does it three times a week.

The 30 year old social media influencer who thinks she's getting old, and makes jokes out of how painful her quarterly botox is and how it causes her migraines, but copes with ‘well beauty hurts. Nothing in life is worth doing if it's easy! No pain, no gain!’

There is only so far you can go with this, and only so much you can participate in the mass-grooming campaign to coach other women and girls into this extreme beauty culture, before you're no longer just a victim but also a perpetrator.

There are 14 year old girls who now want breast implants, liposuction, buccal fat removal, jawline reconstruction and hip injections. There are 11 year olds who use Al to beautify their faces on TikTok so they look like a Bratz Doll with Kylie Jenner's fish lips. There are 20-35 year old women who worry they're ‘past it’ because the women they follow on Instagram are promoting botox to them, when they're only 20-35 themselves.

There are women of colour so insecure about their natural nose shapes that they're convinced by rhinoplasty specialists with TikToks and Instagrams to spend thousands on ridding themselves of the curved, wider noses that were passed down to them by their ancestors, and replace it with the same tiny button nose that every other rhinoplasty customer gets.

That NPC meme is about the women who have become keen participants in the patriarchal norms of making other younger women feel like they cannot leave the house in their natural state, echoing the unspoken sentiment that older women are worthless, and - worst of all - they're making out like misogynistic beauty standards are this unavoidable chore that all those born female must go through - that it is an inevitable part of womanhood that we should all get together, bond over, and laugh about… without proposing any actual viable solutions.

And if any women proposes viable solutions, such as decentering the male gaze, collectivising, or valuing our intellect over our looks, we get chastised with the common vacuous choice liberalism of ‘wow you're being so judgmental/mean/intolerant', 'you're invalidating my choice', ‘but why does the way I live my life affect you?' and 'what happened to women supporting women?'

And then five minutes later... ‘God it’s so hard being a woman. To have to shave daily and alter our bodies to appease society.‘

Well no, actually, no that is not some sort of inevitable part of womanhood.

And the women further normalising, making comedy out of, and stigmatising noncompliance to what they themselves literally acknowledge is a miserable existence, need to be held to account. Womanhood is not a social club where we all trauma bond over the ‘inevitability’ of moulding ourselves into beauty dolls.

[oliveroctavius]

Doesn't the decision to get involved with Sam Bullit prove Gwen was a bad person?

Hey, I've been looking for an excuse to post about this. The Sam Bullit arc isn't really about Gwen (though it certainly reveals some things about her character). The Sam Bullit arc is about racist dogwhistles and why they work.

ASM #92 pg 19: "I will bring law and order to the people of this great city! I will show no mercy to the anarchists and all others who would destroy our way of life!"

Bullit's platform is not openly white supremacist in the sense that it doesn't overtly mention race. He talks about laws and safety in a way meant to appeal to rich white voters. The true meaning should be clear to anyone with any political awareness (who are those others and what is our way of life?), so why does this rhetoric attract "otherwise rational" people?

ASM #91 pg 6: "I want to volunteer to help you--in your campaign for DA. Because--I want you to bring Spider-Man to justice!" "We need strength--strength to punish those who mock the law! I will use such strength to bring Spider-Man and others like him to justice! I will not betray your trust."

Gwen makes her decision to back Bullit on the way home from her father's funeral. There's a very real phenomenon of tough-on-crime bills named after (white) murder victims. The grief of families who feel like justice hasn't been served is a powerful tool to push harsh laws while smothering any criticism as "disrespectful" to the victims. What’s in a Name? An Empirical Analysis of Apostrophe Laws, 2020.

Bullit showed up at George Stacy's funeral with this exact goal in mind, and when Spider-Man "kidnaps" Gwen later, he leverages the media obsession with white girls in danger for his cause. Gwen is a pawn, but she did offer her help first. Her desire for closure is very human and her short-sighted reactionary faith in "the law" is very white.

Oddly absent from your "proven bad person" takeaway is J. Jonah Jameson. The Bugle lends Bullit a platform to make Gwen's personal tragedy a political talking point. JJJ has the ~Black best friend~ excuse and everything, and he still blows past red flags like crazy.

ASM #91 pg 7: "Maybe they were better days than now! At least we had law and order then." "Yeah--and lynch mobs, and bread lines, and Uncle Toms..." "Come off it, Robbie! What's wrong with a man standing for law and order, anyway?" "Maybe it just depends on whose law--and what kind of order you're talkin' about, man!"

(Another point of this arc: marginalized groups learn to recognize dogwhistles pretty quickly for survival reasons. If they tell you something is a dogwhistle and you don't see it yet, look closer.)

ASM #92 pg 9: "Parker's story just served to open Jameson's eyes--but I've kept a dossier on you. I haven't been city editor all these years for nothing! I know where your support comes from. I know about the lunatic hate groups who are backing you. I know what you really mean by law and order!"

Late in the campaign, the Bugle switches sides. This scene tends to be described as JJJ giving the racists what-for, but the moment is truly Robbie's. (Note that it took Peter getting roughed up for Jameson to take this seriously!) JJJ can yell at Bullit all he likes without consequences, but Robbie is kidnapped and threatened by white supremacists in retaliation. It's Robbie's determination to speak up that eventually puts Bullit out of the running for good.

The Bullit arc isn't there to sort characters by Bad Person and Good Person. Neither Gwen nor JJJ have to personally hate black people for their self-centered sense of safety to be weaponized by a racist agenda. This is a Stan Lee PSA about masked bigotry and how it might appeal to you even if you consider yourself a Good Person.

But for some ~mysterious~ reason, Gwen's brief agreement and Jameson's brief rejection are the only parts of these two issues I ever see brought up, with Robbie's major role not mentioned at all. Some ideas fit more neatly than others into smug ship-war quote tweets and anon asks, it seems.

[boyfhee]

⌕ TAKE TWO ━━ 19 : all you want

PRECIS. while riki constantly assured you that him being an idol under a different label wouldn't be an issue in your relationship, you start getting second thoughts when fans start shipping him with his co-mc at music bank.

n : written part after the screenshots

w : slight angst, mild fluff ( finally ) - 1.6k

the cityscape stood open in front of you, cold winter winds sneaking under your sweatshirt, a scarf from jungwon that has been keeping you warm for the past fifteen minutes doesn’t seem to suffice as the skies turned darker. looking at the horizon, there’s a certain calmness that soothes your heart, the violets and vermillion hues reflecting ever so majestically over the glass panes of skyscrapers. down below lays the distinct city noise, the honking of cars, tires screeching— a near miss. the cat walks across the road safely, and behind you, jungwon lets out a sigh of relief. 

“i’ve never been here,” he chuckles. 

you hum, letting a soft smile climb up your face. “me either,” you look at him. he seems to have loosen up. when he arrived, jungwon definitely looked uneasy, or rather, nervous, in case you didn’t want to talk or even see him. but you’re here, and he’s resting his elbow above the railing, letting himself relax. “are we even allowed to be here?” 

“not sure, but even if we aren’t, no one has to know,” it’s an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, to make you feel better even if it’s only for a brief second. he wishes to hold your hands and tell you that it will be okay. sometimes, words aren’t enough, and jungwon doesn’t want to ask the words, “how have you been?” but alas, he does anyway.

“i don’t know,” it’s a plain reply, a response of ignorance, as if you know exactly what’s happening to you but you can’t seem to process. it’s like having a spatula to stir your dish but you don’t remember how to use it, and so you simply stand there, watching it burn. “maybe, i overreacted the other day. riki has been texting constantly and i’ve been ignoring him. guess, i’m really scared for what’s about to come,” a sigh falls of your lips, you turn to look at him. “good or bad,” 

“well, you made it so far and now we’re so close to the truth,” and jungwon refuses to look at you. perhaps, it’s the weather or the situation, but he doesn’t want to watch you crying, and the reason has to do with both you and riki. “you should talk to him,” he says, half supportive, half defeated. 

if he’s being honest, he doesn’t want you to talk to riki, and if he’s being reasonable, he wishes you would sort things out with him. as said before, it has to do with both of you— one is the love of his life, other being his closest friend. living without either of you seems impossible for jungwon. it’s like an eccentric give and receive, a unique pact, a relationship where all of you are victims and all of you are villains. there’s a hint of jealousy, a heart overflowing with love, a soul drowning in immense pain. 

“what if they’re dating?” you ask, it’s more of a whisper. 

jungwon takes a step towards you. “you don’t know,” 

but, you think you do. trust was something that you never ran out of in this relationship with riki. even now, when everything around has been falling down, when the line between truth and lie has been erased and everything resembles the same, you know a part of you trusts riki. but it’s just a part, just a little corner of your heart lost inside it’s walls and chambers. the trust, it’s like a flickering flame of a candle. your hands are around it, making sure it wouldn’t go out, but you think it would either way. the brightest flames go out first, the longer the candle burns, the shorter it gets. you think you can light another one and replace it but you can’t, because the cold wax has already settled on your hands, and scraping it away would mean taking away a part of yourself. 

“what if they’ve been together all this time and i’m here being fooled? what if he has been lying? what if miya was right all along, won—” at this point, you’re not being yourself. you’re crying, your face is buried in your hands, you’re finally letting loose and coming to terms with loss. you’re close to giving up, taking your hands off the candle and letting the winds blow it out. the words that are possibly a lie are now morphing into the truth for you. it feels like you’re watching your lover walk away to someone else while the red strings still hold you together, and you’re doing nothing but looking for the scissors. 

so, jungwon pulls you into his arms. “we don’t know anything yet,” 

those are the words the world relies upon. people look forward to a surprise because you don’t know what it’s going to be. they’re hooked on thrillers because they don’t know the ending. they hope because who knows, maybe things will change for the better one day. the lack of knowledge is incredible and equally dangerous. you’re stupidly lucky and luckily stupid. while one moment, you thank the heavens for keeping you in dark all this time for you don’t know if you can handle facing the truth; the other, you wonder if things would have been different if only you knew. 

your thoughts are laced with irony, there’s a sense of indecisiveness in your actions. your words are uncertain. 

you don’t know anymore. 

“what did i do to deserve this?” and you cry harder, a few centimeters closer into his arms, a consoling hand on your back that feels warmer. you’re spilling tears on his jacket, he doesn’t seem to mind. the city noise fades into the background as your ears fill with the loud silence along with your soft sobs. if someone was to see you like this, you both will be on the headlines the next day. besides, you don’t have an explanation as for why you were crying relentlessly in jungwon’s arms. you’re concerned, but he doesn’t seem to care. so, you don’t know why you worry about media.

you never knew why riki worried so much about them.

“i’m sorry i can’t help more than telling you the same words over and over again,” his words aren’t much louder than yours, almost just as muffled, if not more. “shit, i’m so fucking sorry for not being able to help,” he holds you closer, his voice shaking, you’re scared he might just be crying on his own, over matters that aren’t even his to being with.

“are you stupid?” and you pull away, sniffling, an awkward chuckle falling off your lips at the sight of wet patches on his clothing. “you’ve helped me more than anyone else, won,” 

he awkwardly brushes off the strand of hair in front of your eyes. “i wish i could do more,” 

jungwon doesn’t take credit. well, mostly, he does, but for some things, he doesn’t, and those things are the ones that count the most. perhaps, it’s how a leader is supposed to be. he shares his efforts and achievements. anything he does, it’s for the group, it adds into the accounts of all seven members. you don’t know how that logic is applicable right now, but it sure does has an impact on him. 

jungwon is so used to sharing, he doesn’t remember how it feels to have something that belongs to him and only him. it’s not a bad thing. you’d never know how it feels to be in his place, but sometimes, it feels like jungwon has forgotten how to live for himself.

“what did i do to deserve you?” those are the words that water the flowers blooming in his heart. you take a step behind, turning to the city scape again. wind strikes cold on your tear stained cheeks, you rub it off on your sleeves. “seriously though, you’ve always been there when i needed you, always down to listen to my complaints and endless rants about riki. i don’t think words can express how thankful i am,” 

and jungwon is looking at you— eyes ever so starry, inexplicably in disbelief and desperately in love. “and i don’t know why you helped me so much,” 

“because i like you,” and words slip off his tongue like they’re the water flowing down the stream. there’s a pause, a look of surprise from your side, guilt pouring on his part. you could feel your heart trying to beat out of your chest, you don’t know the last time you’ve felt this way. “not the very best time, is it?” 

but jungwon brushes the silence off with a forced laughter, or rather, tries to. it’s the least he can do to cover up his mistakes. the last thing he wants is to make sure his unplanned confession doesn’t make him look like a backstabber, as if he was trying to get his own way to you through your misery. “don’t think so much about it. it’s just a crush, it’ll go away. you should be focusing on your boyfri—”

fluttering gazes, a step taken towards him involuntarily. you kiss jungwon— a decision made out of impulse.  

“does that make it seem like i’m using you?” you pull away, and now the guilt was for both of you to handle. emotions are playing their part, mind out of order, logic off the terrace of your label that you are currently standing on. right or wrong, it’s hard to differentiate.

nothing makes sense, yet everything in his moment with him fits together like a puzzle piece. 

so, his hands are cupping your cheeks. “you can use me all you want,” and your lips are back onto his. 

PREV | NEXT | MASTERLIST

n : YNWON NATION HOW DO WE FEEL

[autumnmobile12]

Ambush Simulation: Burnin'

Burnin': *clocks out* 'Kay, I'm headed out. I'm going drinking with the boss's kids and their weird vigilante friends at that bar owned by All Might's nephew.

Kido: ...there is so much going on in that sentence that I don't know how to tackle it.

...

...yeah, Burnin' and some of the other sidekicks might be another reason why the Vanguard gets away with so much.

Burnin': *runs down alley in pursuit of villain, ends up cornering the guy because Dabi happened to be coming from the other direction* "You patchwork dumbass, get the hell out of here before your dad sees you!"

Dabi: *makes offended hand gestures and dips*

...

Not really a topic I'm going to explore too much in The Summer Camp Ambush Simulation, but it is one that I may go into with other fics in the same au:

How much did Endeavor's sidekicks know/suspect what was going on with their boss's home life?

We don't really see their reaction to it in canon, which I think should have been shown. Because as it stands, it gives the impression they watched Dabi's broadcast, then saw Endeavor's public confession about what he did, and they seemed to collectively say, "Our boss was abusing his wife and kids for years. Oh well." And then they go and defend him as a good hero during Final War, which was objectively true, but I don't think saying that in front of two of his victims was a good look for any of them. It probably would have been better if we got a scene that showed they were taking Natsuo's stance of, "We're with Endeavor until this is all over, then we're out."

...

I imagine in canon that Endeavor keeps his private life strictly hidden from his professional one, but the Ambush Simulation au makes it a little more complicated with how Touya behaves. He's a vigilante, which has a lot of the sidekicks and other Pros questioning why he didn't just train to be a hero. Why is he so antagonistic with all the opportunities that were available to him? If he isn't coping with what happened to him, then does that mean he isn't receiving proper care and/or support?

All boiling down into the sentiment, "The boss's oldest kid is a shit. But we have questions."

...

Burnin' for sure knows at least a good chunk of the story.

A few years before the events of The Summer Camp Ambush Simulation, she did confront Touya about his 'spoiled, rich brat' behavior and got quite a bit more info from a very pissed off fire-user than she bargained for. And like everyone else adhering to Rei, Touya, Fuyumi, Natsuo, and Shouto's collective wishes to not have their private lives exposed in a public scandal (where their story will be scrutinized by the media, where they may be called liars and harassed by Endeavor's more die-hard fans, where the Commission may denounce them in order to cover for one of their top-performing Pros, where their lives will be completely upended with a myriad of foreseen and unforeseen consequences,) Burnin' reluctantly stays quiet about it.

"This is how I get ahead in life. I work with the No. 2 Hero and then I go drink and commiserate with his kids."

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

Sam Messed Up + Tria Prima Ramblings

There are a few solid CAT# but one I really like is that it's based on if an incident affects the body, mind, or soul of the victim. This started off as an offhand example I used to explain how they could work, but there are a lot of fun links to it and will now make a semi-baseless accusation to continue to support it

Sam can't file documents correctly even when being told explicitly what to do.

Anyway, CAT#'s have been shown to have the following values, either in the show or on the Klaus doc: 1/2/3/12/13.

It stands to reason that if 13 can exist these are non-mutually exclusive categories and so 23 and 123 can also exist. And if an incident can be both 1 and 3 it would appear that these represent discrete facets of an incident's manifestation.

Given the show's obvious alchemic motifs it's not a huge leap to link that to the tria prima, alchemy's three primes; soul, spirit (mind), and body. These are represented by sulfur (🜍), mercury (☿), and salt (🜔) respectively. Each of which can be found on the OIAR's logo.

The strongest link here is that 3 is Body/Salt/🜔. Daria's transformation (full) was CAT3, ink5oul has 🜔 on their insta bio, and body is even the third thing in the list. Which is a great start.

We've also got transformation (eyes) at CAT23 which also helps back that up. There was an elemental of paranoia and mental manipulation to it as well as the transformation itself. That tracks really well for Spirit/Mercury/☿, which in alchemical terms is mind as most people would think of. CAT2 was also the watching doll which does also track.

The problem for me is with the last of our categories. CAT1 in the show has only been seen for reanimation (partial), combined with the extra context that said reanimation was "amalgamative", and I don't think that lines up well with a basic idea of Soul/Sulfur/🜍. If this was CAT13 I'd be all over this but I think given there is a strong emphasis of the physical body being an important detail here then it's not entirely convincing. Greater context could make it a stronger case though, if lots of undead ends up in CAT1 then it'd probably a sure thing.

The real problem with this idea is that Dr. Webber's incident seems to almost entirely disprove it. It was CAT2 and while it obviously had a strong mental component it's undeniably a huge physical transformation so it'd have to be CAT23 to really make this all make sense.

Which brings us to Sam. Sam definitely made one obvious mistake with the case number of Ep 3's incident. I think he also made a major mistake in its header. Both of which have solid foundations in the show's text. But I also think, somewhat seriously, that a third mistake has been made with the metatextual reason of obfuscating the meaning of this system.

So, after the incident plays and Sam talks to Alice about it she pretty explicitly tells him what it should be filed as. She says "“Infection” comma “arboreal”. Cross link it with “guilt” if you’re feeling fancy.", but this is what we get instead:

CAT2C8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (full body) -/- arboreal

Ignoring the header for the time being there firstly a very obvious and inarguable mistake. He missed out the R, and they all get the R because it's just a label. The header is also close to being different than what Alice mentions and arboreal as a crosslink specifically doesn't seem to fit in with the more emotional or mental elements crosslinks have had to that point. Arboreal doesn't fit in with regret, trespass, or dysmorphic, but guilt does. Which would make this the seemingly more correct case number and header:

CAT2RC8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (arboreal) -/- guilt

But based on the tria prima theory I'm now wondering if it's not meant to actually be this:

CAT23RC8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (arboreal) -/- guilt

And the 3 was removed to obfuscate the case numbering format. Because the stuff that was "wrong" is fairly obvious to find if that's all that was wrong with it but removing a digit from the CAT# is basically impossible to show unless you know for sure what's meant to be there. It's the sort of mistake that hides really well in ignorance, which makes it a great data point to screw with because of how it breaks ideas.

[thv-jk97]

Sharing my thoughts about the negative take from that H*BE stylist about LWA because I need to put them somewhere, so forgive me for this post. For context, the stylist said that the MV is using disabilities and those who face discrimination as inspirational material and that they’re “romanticizing disabilities”, and while I can genuinely understand what they were trying to advocate for, their take also completely ignores massive elements of the MV as a whole, whilst also making grand assumptions about the artists (Tae and IU) that they cannot possibly know.

Listen, everyone has the right to interpret any piece of content how they see it and they’re also entitled to feel how they feel and share their opinions, but it becomes problematic when they start making baseless assumptions along with the point they’re trying to make. Claiming that IU and Tae are rich cishets with no disabilities(implying that they are privileged and not discriminated against) is such a WILD assumption to make (let’s not forget that IU does actually have a hearing impairment).

I do think that there should be conversations about who should be able to tell what stories or portray what character, especially in huge projects in mainstream media, but there has to be room for flexibility. Are we going to require people to reveal everything single thing about themselves in order to prove that they can represent a specific demographic fairly? That’s a completely unreasonable expectation, and in some circumstances, it could literally be unsafe. And their assumptions do not contribute to a constructive dialogue about this topic at all.

Not only that, but their critique sort of implies that the MV equates having disabilities to being a victim, but that isn’t what I personally got from the MV. Their characters literally fight until the very end, in their blind and deaf/mute states, and are never actually shown as weak. And it’s just another assumption that the “love filter” takes away their disabilities, when in reality, IU still uses sign language even when Tae is looking at her through the camcorder – what is shown is a world where they don’t have their injuries anymore (injuries that were sustained in this dystopian world) and their lives are more than just fear and running. The concept of “love wins all” is that they made it to the very end of the world together and are ultimately taken out by the shittiness of this world that they’re living in – not by their disabilities.

The stylist also goes on to imply that the ambiguity of the MV is an issue because they end up wearing traditional hetero outfits (since when is sexuality linked to pieces of clothing?), and if it were meant to mean something to the queer community, they wouldn’t have included that. Which makes no sense because that’s the beauty of art – it’s meant to be interpreted however the viewer sees it, and so many people in the queer community did actually take comfort in the symbolism they interpreted from the MV.

To be honest, I can’t help but question the motive of their rant, because from where I’m standing, this person works for a billion dollar company that literally capitalizes on using the queer community for good sales (fanservice, etc)(mind you, this is only one of H*BE’s many offenses) so their issues with this metaphorical MV seem to be a bit selective (aka taking issue with things that don’t affect their livelihood). Also gonna add that they literally have posts supporting Zionists (who raised money specifically for the IDF), so it really seems like selective activism atp.

Tae and IU have both consistently shown that they are massive advocates of inclusivity and equality, so to be accused of exploiting minorities and their struggles is actually so upsetting. People can label it whatever they want, but IU’s decision to change the title of the song was not about “saving face”, it was showing empathy for a minority when she learned that they were bothered by the original title. And for this person to insinuate that Tae and IU are tone deaf and clueless to the strife of those who have been discriminated against is just plain disrespectful and such a projection based on their own personal interpretation and assumptions.

Anyway, sorry for this long-winded post. There’s never a day of peace and I am siiiiick of it.

[nightghoul381]

Ellis Twilight~ Main Route Chapter 5

Disclaimer for route warnings | Masterlist

Additional Content Warnings: None

This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Villains. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!

The next morning- When I reported yesterday’s incident, Jude had received similar information.

Victor: “A ‘circus’?...”

Jude: “The circus group seems to have disbanded a long time ago.”

Kate: “Huh!?”

Ellis: “Disbanded…?”

Jude: “The Grace Circus Troupe”

Jude: “After a successful run in London, the maggots who flock to success cheated him outta his money, put him in debt and everything went up in flames.”

Jude: “The troupe disbanded quickly.”

(Well then…)

Kate: “We heard that Mr. Bill’s missing friend had been ‘recruited’”

Kate: “It’s impossible for someone to be recruited to a circus group that’s been disbanded. The recruitment has nothing to do with the kidnapping, right?”

Ellis: “Or someone is lying and pretending to be recruiting for a circus group to lure in victims.”

Victor: “I wonder if the Grace Circus Troupe still exists behind the scenes, even if it’s outwardly disbanded.”

Victor: “Or maybe it’s the work of someone pretending to be the Grace Circus Troupe…”

Victor: “…It seems that additional investigation is needed, including in that area.”

Victor: “Jude, Ellis, Kate, thank you for the information.”

Victor: “The fair ended yesterday so please take a break for now.”

I take a deep breath as I stare at Victor’s back as he leaves, his long hair fluttering behind him.

(As Fairytale Keeper, perhaps all I’m required to do is write down the crimes of the Crown members…)

(But I wish I could help stop this incident before there are more victims.)

(--That’s right, the report!)

As a storyteller, I try to think back on whether I had witnessed a crime that I could write about.

(Hmm… Ellis and Jude didn’t commit any crimes, did they?)

(Come to think of it, I wonder if Ellis would ever commit a crime that I could write about in the report…)

(…Maybe it would be easier to write down Jude’s sins, since he’s so hated that his life is threatened.)

Jude: “What, don’t act like yer thinkin’ somethin’ rude.”

Kate: “What!? N-no I wasn’t!”

Jude: “So ya really had the courage to go on stage ‘n put yer body on the line?”

Part 2

Jude: “So ya really got the courage to go on stage ‘n put yer body on the line, do ya?”

Kate: “Why did you say that?”

Ellis: “Did you see it?”

Jude: “Yer at a fair, ya can’t help but see a big stage like that.”

Jude: “I thought she’d have refused the escort if she was a troublesome woman who was scared to death at every turn.”

Jude narrows his eyes as if he’s inspecting me again.

Jude: “Ya got guts, if ya want, you can come along.”

Kate: “Y…yes.”

(Does that mean you approve of me a little?)

Jude: “Ellis, yer the one who got her involved in the first place. Yer in charge.”

Ellis: “Yeah, I know. Good for you, Kate.”

(This was good…I guess.)

And so—I ended up spending my days following Jude and Ellis’ work.

We were attacked by business rivals and thugs once every three days,

A few days passed as I wrote in my notebook about the two people who would get revenge for even more outrageous behavior.

Then, when the “fairytale keeper’ work for the day was finished…

Ellis: “Kate, I’ve found a nice restaurant, would you like to stop off and go home?”

Ellis always called out to me.

Today it was a restaurant and yesterday I was invited to a place where I could see a beautiful sunset to eat crepes.

Kate: “Ellis, you’ve been taking me too many delicious restaurants lately…”

Ellis: “Too many…?”

Kate: “It feels like my body is getting a little bit…heavy.”

Ellis: “I don’t think it’s changed at all…but then, should we stop?”

--Choices--

Maybe not today

**2. …we can go. +4 +4 **

3. Let me think about it for a minute. (I had selected this option and forgot to get screenshots for the correct answer >n<)

Kate: “Let me think about it for a minute.

Ellis: “Sure.”

Ellis stands there, staring at me intently, like a faithful dog waiting for his master’s commands.

Kate: “I suppose we can go.”

Ellis: “Good, I thought you would like the restaurant, Kate.”

Ellis: “I wanted to take you with me.”

And spending time with Ellis wasn’t just about eating delicious food together--.

Kate: “Huh? Ellis, this book is…”

There was a book on the chair I always sat on in the common room.

Ellis: “Oh, yeah… I thought that was the one you said you wanted to read, right?”

Part 3

Ellis: “Oh, yeah… I thought that was the one you said you wanted to read, right?”

Kate: “That’s right…! Thank you… How much did it cost?”

Ellis: “Don’t worry about it, it’s a gift.”

Ellis: “You bought me some cranberry jam the other day, so I wanted to return the favor.”

Kate: “That was as thanks for the restaurant before that.”

Ellis: “Then, as a thank you for this…let me know what you think when you finish reading it.”

(I gave him cranberry jam in return for the restaurant, and he gave me this book in return…)

(And as thanks you want me to tell you what I think of this book?)

Kate: “…That’s the way you’d like me to thank you?”

Ellis: “Yeah. I like listening to you.”

Kate: “You’re saying stuff like that again…”

(Ellis is too good at spoiling me…)

--However, the one strange thing is the question that Ellis sometimes asks me.

Ellis: “Hey, Kate… How happy are you right now?”

He wants to know what makes me happy and what satisfies me.

Ellis sometimes asks strange questions like that, as if he really wants to know.

Usually when he asks me this, it’s when I’m feeling happy.

He asked the questions as if he could see right through me, as if confirming that I was happy.

It’s like an exchange between lovers… and it always makes my heart skip.

Kate: “Hmmm… I guess as happy as when I’m taking a nap on my bed in the sun on my first vacation in a while.”

I feel like I’ve gotten better at expressing ‘happiness’, probably due to always being asked this question.

Ellis: “…”

As usual, he would smile immediately after blinking.

Ellis: “…I’d like to see that. Would you like to take a nap with me next time?”

Kate: “T-together?”

Ellis: “Yeah. Think about it.”

Ellis: “Well then, Kate, see you tomorrow.”

(together…)

The kindness that Ellis showers on me is so limitless that I feel almost conceited.

But…

(Ah, I feel like I’m going to be ruined from too much pampering…)

Perhaps driven by this sense of crisis, I’ve been waking up early lately.

(I’m supposed to be doing a job that my life depends on, but I’m enjoying it more than I used to.)

(It’s all thanks to Ellis for trying to make me happy, but…)

I took the plunge and asked Jude, who happened to be reading the newspaper by himself at the early morning breakfast table.

Kate: “Is there a reason that Ellis is so particular about happiness?”

Part 4

Kate: “Is there a reason that Ellis is so particular about happiness?”

Jude: “……What, ya gonna do somethin’ if ya know?”

Kate: “Eh? No, it’s just a question.”

Kate: “He’s so kind to me that I’m starting to worry…”

What I gradually came to understand after spending time with Ellis is—

He says he ‘prioritizes what the other person wants to do, not himself.’

(As Ellis had said before.)

(It’s as if Ellis has no feelings or desires of his own.)

Kate: “As much as I think Ellis is person who genuinely enjoys the happiness of others.”

Kate: “There are bound to be things that Ellis himself wants to do or doesn’t want to do.”

Kate: “I’m a little worried that I’m not holding back.”

Jude: “…Well, look at you.”

Jude snorted a laugh while looking down at the newspaper, seemingly uninterested.

Jude: “So, ya think there’s a hidden side to his kindness, and ya can’t trust him?”

(Uh…)

Kate: “I didn’t say that.”

For a moment I was at a loss for words because I realized what Jude was saying.

Jude: “Same thing.”

Jude: “’I don’t know if I should be happy to be pampered because I can’t read his true feelings.’ Isn’t that what yer sayin’?”

(…now that you say that, it might be true.)

(I’m suspicious of Ellis…?)

He’s the type of person who would do anything to cheer me up.

Maybe I’m afraid of becoming complacent with that kindness and missing out on the feelings behind it.

Jude: “There’s no such thing as genuine kindness so leave that assumption aside.”

Jude: “I’m sure his kindness isn’t just due to simple favoritism.”

Kate: “….?”

Jude: “Well if he doesn’t have a special obsession with ya, then it’ll be fine.”

Kate: “It sounds like there are circumstances that make it not okay if he does become particularly attached…”

Jude: “Ha, yer smarter than I thought.”

Jude raised an eyebrow and continued.

Jude: “But if ya knew that much, wouldn’t a smart young lady know what to do?”

Jude looks down at the newspaper as if he didn’t feel like explaining any further.

There’s no such thing as genuine kindness.

It’s okay as long as he doesn’t get too attached.

Even knowing that, I still only have a vague idea.

That’s why I don’t know anything specific about what will happen if I stay with Ellis from now on.

(…I wonder what this pain is.)

It’s like reaching out to touch a beautiful rose and a tiny thorn stings my fingertips—my heart aches.

Ellis: “Good morning, Jude, Kate.”

(Wah!)

Kate: “Ellis! Good morning.”

My heart skipped a beat and my hand instinctively reached for the silverware on the table.

Ellis: “…Did something happen?”

Part 5

Ellis: “…Did something happen?”

His gentle colored eyes look at me with concern.

Kate: “No, it’s nothing.”

Jude: “She was just squealin’ ‘bout bein’ hungry.”

Ellis: “…I see. Then let’s eat breakfast.”

Ellis smiles and takes his seat.

(What Jude was saying earlier is… I should keep my distance so he doesn’t get seriously attached to me.)

(But… I can’t just be aloof now after he’s shown me all this kindness.)

So as usual, I smiled and spoke with him.

Kate: “Ah, I spread a lot of butter on the toast before it got cold.”

Ellis: “Mine too? … You did.”

Kate: “Thank you, as always.”

Ellis: “Thank you, Kate.”

(When Ellis smiles happily, I feel happy too.)

I’m sure no one will leave Ellis alone.

Because he’s such a wonderful person.

(I’m sure there’s no way he’ll be particularly attached to me.)

(This is just how I repay the kindness I’ve received.)

(I should spend the rest of the month trying not to be too easy on Ellis.)

I shouldn’t misjudge the sense of distance—that’s what I vowed to do as soon as I came here.

(Every time I’m treated kindly, I feel like I’m forgetting that commandment.)

Since then, his kindness has seeped into the cracks of the commandments and the distance between our hearts has narrowed…

I’m sure I’ve reached a point where I can’t turn back.

(I can’t make any more mistakes…)

Maybe, surely—I can’t make a mistake.

After finishing breakfast and Kate left to get ready to go out, Ellis looked at Jude.

Ellis: “Hey, Jude.”

Jude: “If it’s bullshit I don’t wanna hear it.”

Jude makes a noise with the newspaper as if to interrupt the voice.

Ellis: “Do you think it’s possible to make Kate the happiest she’s been in her life, within the month?”

Jude: “Dunno.”

Ellis: “If she has a moment like that, I would want to make it last forever.”

Ellis: “Because she’s such a nice person.”

Jude glanced up and saw that Ellis had a very serious expression on his face.

Jude: “…Ha, yer as crazy as ever.”

Ellis: “I don’t think so.”

Ellis: “I… I just don’t like seeing people I care about become unhappy.”

Jude: “….”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, things took a turn in the kidnapping case—

William wandered in and saw Jude and Ellis discussing the next day’s meeting,

Then he smiled at me as I took notes on the proceedings.

William: “We’ve received new information from Alfons regarding the kidnapping incidents.”

Next Chapter

[themultifanshipper]

I would like to contribute my opinion on the lando/trump situation.

Warning, it's long and a bit nuanced (although slightly more a defence than an accusation but still keep an open mind)

And is edited as i find more things to say

First off, Lando is a victim of the formula one machine just like all the drivers. They are the puppets, the clowns, whatever analogy you want. The people behind the teams (team bosses, ceo's, sponsors etc... are what make the machine run, the drivers are just there to drive. He was approached by the ex president of the country he was in, on a high of winning his first race, and shook his hand while a million cameras were pointing in his direction. That can only happen one way: trump being invited by the team (bosses ceo's, whatever). Now, I despise trump and everything he stands for, but if I was in Lando's situation I would have had to do the same thing. (It so happens I was in a similar situation and had to shut my mouth and shake the hand of a politician I didn't like because I could have caused a diplomatic incident and lost my job and cost a lot of money in sponsorships). Also the alleged comments "It was an honour for him to be there/ you have to have respect for him" etc... are probably bullshit, but in the case that they are not and Lando is actually a trump supporter, if you cancel him for it, you would have to cancel half the drivers/team bosses/Ceo's etc in HISTORY.

The founding of formula one (like any institution ever) is by and for White/Rich/Heterosexual/Males. The FIA is corrupt. The teams are corrupt. It's an industry entirely run by money. It's capitalism in a bottle and some of y'all seem to forget that. The fact is the drivers could all be supporters of the right wing parties in their respective countries, would you cancel all of them?

For example, frank williams, the FOUNDER of Williams f1 team was openly a Thatcher supporter. There is a portrait of the bitch in his house (now his daughter's) as seen below, with a picture of.... george russell??

I also added a picture of Thatcher with Colin Chapman to emphasize that political figures often get involved in sports, doesn't mean the athletes align with their views. Trump, Reagan, Thatcher, Francisco Franco (a literal dictator).... they've all done it.

But let's have a quick look at Georgie boy then. A rich white man, he was quite friendly with Frank Williams, does that mean he's a tory? No. (Tbh he probably is but is smart enough to not talk about it)

Lewis Hamilton of all people was invited to lunch TWICE with the British Royal family (not to mention the knighthood), does that mean he's a racist cunt with no regard for other human lives? No. So why would he associate himself with them? Because he's smart enough to not alienate half the bloody population!

If these people had integrity and perfect morals, they would not be racing in F1. And for the few that are genuinely good people, they're smart enough to just be a cog in the machine to ensure their paycheck. We saw it with the horner situation, they won't get involved unless they actually support the bad guy. Similar situation to palestine, if they speak out either way, they will alienate countless sponsors and probably loose their seat.

Yes it's shit, yes it should be different, yes it should be inclusive but it's just not. It's veeery slowly changing though.

But back to Lando: now he isn't perfect obviously. (He's a white cis probably het man) He might even be right wing who knows, but I think taking alleged comments like "you have to respect the guy" out of context is dangerous. Objectively, yes there is an infinitesimal bit of respect you have to have for trump (hear me out) he managed to become PRESIDENT OF THE UNTIED STATES by manipulating the masses into thinking he was basically the reincarnation of God. Man is a genius, even though he's a cock. He's also a brilliant example of nepotism, capitalism and all round discrimination that represents the system we all live in. Additionally, florida is a pretty right wing state if i'm not mistaken (gun laws/anti abortion/anti lgbt etc...) and if lando had told trump to fuck off, there might have been riots and i'm only barely joking. Lando is a dick for the comments that were perhaps a bit unnecessary but y'all are seeing them as him endorsing trump lmao. As a (hopefully) future public figure, if the president of my country came to see me in front of a bunch of cameras i would also say it was an honour to meet him. At this level it's self preservation.

I will finish this rant by saying that I hope the world of f1 will change for the better in future years, already the gender diversification is going in the right direction, some programs are in place for kids who come from poorer backgrounds etc... but expecting that change to come from the puppets of capitalism is quite unreasonable. Lewis has set some standards that hopefully more and more drivers can stick to, but in the meantime cancelling a dude for breathing the same air as trump is stupid.

Ps: Y'all don't know the half of the awful private corporations and sponsors of the teams and drivers, so if you can't cope with the occasional dick on your screen, you might want to pick a different hobby. Preferably not involving public figures or PR in any capacity.

Edit 1: I've been seing ppl get mad at lando for saying he's his lucky charm and I think it's perhaps a language comprehension barrier thing. He did not say that. Trump said he was lando's lucky charm, then lando mentionned that trump had said it.

Edit 2: I've seen some clips of Zak Brown where he seems to be really friendly with trump. I wouldn't be surprised if it was his idea to introduce him to lando. CEO's are rarely great people, and although i'm glad he's been such a huge part of Lando's journey and success, i'm not a big fan of his. I just wish it would have been with someone a bit less complacent, like max or lewis, they wouldn't have said that stuff and the interaction would have been quite entertaining I reckon.

Edit 3: great post about the misunderstood comments at the press conference here

Don't hesitate to insult me in my asks, i will be answering them with equal enthusiasm :)

[reunionatdawn]

My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 16: Mercedes/Dedue)

Mercedes: If I were someone else, perhaps a commoner without a Crest or stature, maybe things would be different. It's a bit sad, but…this is the way things have to be. After all, only the goddess can decide our fates.

Each character in the Blue Lions was a victim of Faerghus's patriarchal culture. Mercedes was adopted for the purpose of being married off for her Crest. The Crest of Lamine is associated with the arcana of Judgement. It represents an important decision that needs to be made regarding love and romance. It also symbolizes a solution to a protracted problem, and a feeling of freedom.

Mercedes was separated from her brother at a young age and had to make a new life for herself in the Kingdom. What got her through those hard times was the support of the church. That's why her dream was to work there to help people, just as they did for her. But doing so would be difficult if she married a nobleman.

Mercedes: Though, just because two people share a promise, that doesn't guarantee they'll be together forever. You've noticed many nobles at the academy, right? They very rarely have the freedom to choose their own partners.

Mercedes had a lot in common with Ingrid. She did not want to give up on her dream to be used as a broodmare for her Crest, like her mother was. However, she felt like she had no choice.

Byleth: You can't just give up on your dreams. Mercedes: That's a very good point! We're only given one life, so we must do all we can to pursue our happiness! OK! I think that may have been just the push I was looking for! I'll tell him the truth. That I've found a life worth pursuing and I must decline the proposal! Maybe I should tell him I've fallen for someone else?

Mercedes had difficulty standing up to her adoptive father. She was willing to lie to him by telling him that she had fallen for someone else. That might explain many of her pairing options.

Ferdinand: You baffle me. Do you not wish to be free? Mercedes: Of course I do. Let me try that again in a way you might understand. Ahem. A true noble cuts their own path, seizing freedom from the clutches of tyranny!

I suspect that the reason she rejected Ferdinand's help to sever ties with her adoptive father was because she wasn't sure if his gesture was an attempt to woo her. She wasn't sure if she would have the will to decline if he proposed. In their paired ending, she severs ties with her adoptive father and marries him immediately after the war. She lives the traditional life of a noble wife while her husband is recognized for his achievements.

Mercedes: I don't care to flaunt my noble past or my Crest. I have no desire to return to that status. Lorenz: Then, if I may speak hypothetically a moment… Does that mean that if a nobleman were to offer you his hand in marriage, you would decline? Mercedes: Not at all. That's a separate matter entirely. Even if I were to fall in love, regardless of their social status… I'm not looking to marry right now.

Even by the end of their A-Support, she still didn't seem to like Lorenz very much. She was unusually sarcastic with him. And she specifically said she wasn't ready to marry even if she was in love. But it is still possible that she will marry Lorenz immediately after the war. It shows how difficult it was for her to deviate from her path.

Mercedes: …No, I'm glad. I feel like I saw your true face for the first time. …Hey, Sylvain. Would you be able to save me from the curse of my Crest? Sylvain: I…I'll save you! With my heart and soul! I love you! Great! Let's get married!

Mercedes also had a lot in common with Sylvain, and the two actually became close friends. They are both Gemini, the zodiac sign which is thought to be two-faced because of their natural duality.

Mercedes: Don't be ashamed of crying. I'm here to protect you. Will you protect me in return? Sylvain: I will. I promise. You know, Mercedes, you really are a special lady.

Because Mercedes was able to empathize with his pain, he let the mask slip with her, and she saw his other face. Because of that, she was also the only character to see him cry. She wanted him to save her from her arranged marriage, and she had a genuine desire to save him from that fate, too. So, she is one of the very few women Sylvain is able to marry and have a paired ending with.

Mercedes: You're much the same, yes? People like us have to try to bloom as best we can. Sylvain: Never really thought of myself as a flower, but I get what you're saying. Flowers are stuck in the same spot for life, whether they like it or not. And if they happen to sprout in a bad area, they're out of luck. But we have legs, not roots. We can go wherever we want.

But Hopes does a good job of showing why that's not the ideal solution to their problems. Even if she did marry him, she would prefer to be doing charity work rather than living the life of a nobleman's wife. Sylvain was fine with that, but Mercedes did not want to stand in the way of him marrying the person he truly loved.

Sylvain: To be perfectly clear, I'm not making advances on your or anything. But I'm the heir of House Gautier. If I ask you, this other guy will have no choice but to bow out. Though I doubt he'd be happy about it. After that, you can do whatever you want. Go work at a church or ladle out soup or whatever makes you happy. I won't stop you. Mercedes: But that would prevent you from marrying the person you love.

She didn't realize that Sylvain didn't want to get married in the first place. He would be marrying her because she offered him a loophole to his own predicament. With her as his wife, he could fulfill his noble obligation, but still be able to live freely. They cared for each other and shared mutual respect, but neither of them seemed like they would have considered marrying the other without their fathers pushing them into an arranged marriage.

Mercedes: And before that, when I lived with my mother and my little brother. It also reminds me of the time I spent studying with friends at the school of sorcery in the capital. Things may not have been easy then, but I would give anything to return to those days.

The tagline for the game was, "Sweet memories twisted by time's cruel hand". The best option for Mercedes might seem like recruiting her into Crimson Flower and reuniting her with her brother.

Mercedes & Jeritza Once those who slither in the dark were finally defeated, Mercedes left home and opened a small orphanage in the Faerghus region with her mother. After many years of kind service raising children who had lost their families, she received a letter bearing familiar handwriting. Its author, a prisoner in Enbarr, expressed his sincerest well-wishes to Mercedes and her family. Still more time passed until, one day, the man who wrote the letter paid her a visit. With joyful tears in her eyes, Mercedes smiled, took Emile by the hand, and at last welcomed him home.

And their ending is certainly touching. I was never really a big fan of it, though, because Jeritza's condition is resolved without any explanation. In Mercedes' paralogue, the Death Knight said his soul had long departed. He was not fully in control of himself, which is why he continued to fight on the opposite side from his sister. Before this DLC update, it had been implied that Emile had probably been experimented on like the Remire villagers. He was barely human anymore and it was impossible for him to return to normal.

Mercedes: It's sad, but the truth is that people forget. You may be afraid to forget your past, but you'll never be able to revisit it. Living in the present is the best we can do. We owe it to those who can't come back. Dimitri: If someone had said those words to me five years ago, I would be a different man today.

As sad as it is, Mercedes had a stronger character arc in AM where she had to accept that she's unable to return to the past.

Annette: You know, I've always loved you more than anything in the world! Mercedes: My, is that…a confession of love? Hehe, I'm so happy~. Annette: Uh, um, I wanted to say I love the sweets you bake more than anything in the world! Mercedes: Oh, is that so... Well, I love you, Annie.

Other than Emile, Annette was the most important person to Mercedes. In their A-Support they both confessed their love for each other. While it did seem like the bisexual Mercedes may have loved her beyond friendship (particularly in the Japanese), Annette seemed insistent on emphasizing her platonic love.

Annette & Mercedes After the war, Annette and Mercedes lived separate lives: the former as a teacher at the school of sorcery in Fhirdiad, the latter as a cleric at Garreg Mach. Though they lived apart, they exchanged letters so frequently and shared their lives with one another in such detail that it was as though they were side by side. After many decades, they resigned their respective positions and reunited at Garreg Mach. In their final years, they relocated to a modest house in the Fortress City. It is said that they were happy together to the very end.

They will not be life partners even if you go for their paired ending. While they do keep in touch, they'll live completely separate lives until retirement age. It's a slightly bittersweet ending, showing how, as we get older and pursue different life paths, things don't always stay the same. I don't consider it to be the most satisfying ending for either of them. Still, the fact that Mercedes will move away from her best friend shows how important it was to her to pursue her dream.

Mercedes: I just don't want to let go of the life that I've made for myself. I know it's not what my heart wants, but I don't have the strength to say no.

After Garreg Mach fell, Mercedes returned home to the Kingdom capital and joined the merchant business. She told Byleth that she didn't want to give up the life she made for herself in Fhirdiad.

Annette: Since our time in the capital, so much has happened. We've had to make new lives for ourselves, and we've seen at least as many hard times as good. If things keep changing like this, I wonder if we'll be able to stay the same people we are now…

And Annette also didn't want things between them to change by starting completely new lives again, which is what happens in their paired ending.

Dimitri: My own dreams… I have never given it any thought. What about you? What do you want, Mercedes? Mercedes: I want to keep sewing and training with you, even after you've become king. I want to be your friend.

Mercedes even wanted to stay friends with Dimitri after the war, which would only be possible if she kept her old life in the capital.

Mercedes: I'm going to Fhirdiad to meet with my adoptive father, and I'd like you to accompany me. Byleth: What for? Mercedes: I feel the need to set things straight with him in my own way. I've already decided exactly what I'm going to say. I'm choosing to live my life how I want, in pursuit of my own happiness. I need you to accept that. I'm in charge of my own destiny. Not you, not anyone else. Just me. Ah… I've waited so long to say all that.

The best thing for her would be to sever ties with her adoptive father, without the excuse of already having a fiancé. She always left her fate in the hands of the goddess or people above her. But her character arc was about acting of her own free will.

Dimitri: Do you remember the child who cursed me after my father's funeral? Dedue: Ah, yes. I believe he was the son of a knight who fell in Duscur. Dimitri: He was furious that I would not take revenge on your people, and even more enraged to see you serving as my vassal. He berated me without mercy, demanding I kill you then and there. All I could do was walk away. Everyone desires revenge for that day. Survivors and the dead alike cry out for retribution.

Dimitri was also a victim of Faerghus's violent patriarchal culture. He was expected to carry out vengeance for the Tragedy of Duscur. His violent urges were encouraged and rewarded by the society he grew up in. At times, he was chilled to the bone by the depravity of his own actions, such as suppressing a rebellion.

Dedue: When I stood before those soldiers and their swords that day, I was prepared to die. But then you suddenly appeared, and you shielded me. I knew then that a savior's hand could reach into even the deepest darkness.

Dedue was the biggest victim of Farghus's retaliatory violence. His moniker is "Taciturn Devotee". A devotee is a person who strongly admires a particular person. But it can also mean a strong believer in a particular religion or god. It probably would not be an exaggeration to state that Dedue saw Dimitri as the Fódlan goddess.

Dedue: And I would cast it aside in an instant if my death were to your benefit. For that reason, I cannot consider myself your friend. There are still many in the Kingdom who despise the people of Duscur. It would be selfish of me to stand by your side as an equal.

Many people interpreted his feelings for Dimitri as having a romantic aspect to them. I certainly wouldn't reject that interpretation. After all, by reaching out his hand, Dimitri served the same role that Byleth did for him.

Dedue: You promised me you would build a Kingdom that is proud to boast of Duscur blood. In this Kingdom, where there is no distinction between the people of Duscur and the people of Fódlan… Will I finally, without reservation, be able to call you my friend? Will I…Dimitri? Dimitri: Dedue… Yes, you will call me your friend, again and again. No matter how many hardships I must endure… Dedue: I will do all I can to bring about that world as well. To be your friend…is what I have always wanted.

During their A-Support, we learned that Dimitri made a promise to Dedue before they attended the Officer's Academy.

Dimitri & Dedue After his coronation, Dimitri assumed the throne of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, and his loyal vassal, Dedue, remained ever at his side. Among Dimitri's achievements was the reconciliation with Duscur: an extraordinary effort that required extensive negotiations to get past a history of betrayal and oppression. It was a trying task, but Dimitri never once considered giving up. While they behaved as lord and vassal in public, it is said that Dimitri and Dedue were more like family in private. When Dimitri finally fell to illness, Dedue tended to his liege's deathbed, and then took up a post at his grave for the rest of his days. When the time came, they were buried beside each other.

Their paired ending emphasizes Dimitri's efforts reconciling with Duscur and how he never gave up. But it does not specify whether the Duscur people were able to proudly live alongside people from Fódlan without distinction. In fact, because Dedue had to behave as a vassal in public, it implies that there was still hostility between Duscur and the Kingdom for the majority of Dimitri's reign. Dedue only gets to stand by Dimitri's side as an equal in death.

Also, there was no mention of Dedue's efforts bringing about the world he wanted to see. It only mentions him serving Dimitri for his entire life as a subordinate, then guarding his grave for the rest of his days. It is not that different from his solo ending, and I don't think it's a particularly satisfying ending for Dedue.

Dedue: I would regretfully decline. I cannot know happiness without you by my side. I would still seek vengeance. Just… for my own sake, not yours. Dimitri: Interesting. And nothing I say to the contrary will change your mind? Dedue: Your Majesty, can you not live for your own sake? Dimitri: My life is not my own. It belongs to my kingdom, my people, and the dead.

Neither Dimitri or Dedue knew how to live for themselves, and neither could live without the other.

Dedue: I…can still fight, Your Highness. Dimitri: Shut up and retreat. You must live, Dedue.

During his boar phase, Dimitri was willing to mow down any of his old classmates, even if they were not his enemies. And he was willing to send all of his friends and allies to their deaths, too. The single exception was Dedue. He is the only person Dimitri tells to retreat at Gronder Field. And Dedue will live only to seek vengeance.

Dedue: Ngh… I'm not finished yet! Dimitri: Fall back, Dedue! Please! I cannot afford to lose you!

In Scarlet Blaze, Dimitri also begs him to retreat in the Valley of Torment. Dedue would have gladly fought to the death, but Dimitri personally made sure he didn't. It was because he cherished Dedue so much that he wanted him to live for his own happiness.

Dedue: Someday, I hope to show you a whole landscape of these flowers in full bloom. Byleth: You mean Duscur? Dedue: Yes. Once this conflict is over, and His Highness ascends the throne, I believe it can be done. You must live at least until then. Understood? Byleth: Same to you. Dedue: That's true enough. I had not thought much of my own life, until now. Except that I would gladly cast it aside for His Highness. That is still true, but now I desire to see the end of this war. Until I can show you the fields of Duscur in bloom… I will go on living.

Other than Dimitri, the only other thing that gave Dedue a reason to live was showing Byleth the flowers of Duscur in bloom.

Dedue: When I left the capital, I told His Majesty that I would be leaving his service. Byleth: What?! Dedue: He accepted my decision with a smile.

If you go for Dedue's paired ending with Byleth, you learn that if Dedue were to leave Dimitri's service, he would accept with a smile. And I think Dedue has a better character arc if he is able to grow past his codependence on Dimitri and find his own reason to live.

Dedue: To Duscur? There is nothing of interest left there. Mercedes: Isn't it where you were born? And isn't it where your wonderful food and stories come from? I think those are reason enough to visit at least once! Dedue: Mercedes… If you will allow it, I would like to accompany you. His Highness would surely grant me leave to go.

When Mercedes asked Dedue what his plans were after the war, he said it was to serve Dimitri for the rest of his days. And in most of his endings, that's exactly what he does, even if he's married. Going with her to Duscur and praying to the gods (and goddesses) of his own culture changed his entire fate. That's probably why his ending with Mercedes is so different compared to all of his others.

Mercedes: I think a place is only truly destroyed when there's no one left to remember it. You should tell more people about Duscur to keep it alive.

The whole relationship between Mercedes and Dedue revolved around the idea that they could keep their loved ones alive through their memories. He taught her many things about his culture, and she taught him a family recipe that would have otherwise been forgotten.

Dedue: I understand how you feel. I had a younger sister. Sylvain: Had? Oh. Tell me about her. What was she like? Dedue: Hm. She loved flowers, and often made crowns out of them. And once she set her mind to something, nothing in the world could change it.

I really loved their Support in Hopes. It felt exactly like a post-Houses version of their relationship after they had travelled to Duscur and fallen in love. There are rarely any times where Dedue seems happier than when teaching her and the kids to make flower crowns, in memory of his sister. They seem like a married teacher couple, too.

Dedue & Mercedes Two years after the war, Dedue and his wife, Mercedes, opened a school in the Duscur residential district in Fhirdiad. The school educated Duscur children, who had never been given structured learning before, in reading, writing, arithmetic, and even Duscur history. Many years later, when the Duscur people reclaimed their homeland, the people who attended this school were able to resettle there and revive their old culture. Because of this, Dedue and Mercedes were forever renowned by the Duscur.

This is the only ending where Dimitri's promise to Dedue is actually fulfilled, as it mentions the Duscur people having their own district in Fhirdiad. And it just so happens that this is the only paired ending (besides the one with Byleth) where Dedue isn't described as a vassal. He is still living in the capital, so we can assume that he and Dimitri are close friends. But they live as equals. Dedue has his own life now and his own achievements are renowned.

In Hopes, Mercedes said she wanted to go back to Fhirdiad, but not live with her adoptive father. This is the only ending (other than with Dimitri) where she can live her dream, help those in need, and stay in Fhirdiad with her other friends. With Dedue, they get married two years after the war. So, she clearly didn't marry him just to escape her arranged marriage. Dedue and Mercedes bonded over their sense of loss, but they used that pain to keep Duscur alive, so I think it's the absolute best conclusion to their character arcs.

[liquorishblack]

Inside the twisted mind of Hisoka Morow (part 1)

Part 1 , Part 2

Synopsis: Psychoanalysis about Hisoka, concerning his past and who he is today.

TW: Mentions of abuse, physical abuse, child abuse, emotional abuse, mental disorders

Wordcount: 561

➽───────────────❥

So, I have a bachelor degree in psychology and today I work in the forensic field. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that nearly every perpetrator was once a victim.

I´ve seen many on this platform wondering what a relationship with Hisoka would look like… and honestly, since he´s quite a complex and interesting character, I wrapped my head around this question as well. But I quickly came to the conclusion that if you want to make assumptions about how Hisoka would behave in certain situations regarding relationships, it is necessary to understand his psyche and therefore we should have at least a little glimpse at his past (Part 1) before we come to the relationship headcanon (Part2). 

So, shall we?

For the following I´ll go with the theory that Hisoka isn´t a psychopath at all (for a bunch of reasons but the whole discussion whether he is in fact a psychopath or not would fill a whole page for itself, so I won´t dwell on this subject today). But this much shall be said: While psychopathy is a neurological dysfunction (which means psychopaths are born that way), what society calls "sociopathy" usually arises from trauma, which I find much more likely in his case. So, Hisoka might not be a psychopath but do we find him on the spectrum of antisocial personality disorder? Hell yes! He is arrogant, self serving, only fights for himself, shows lack of empathy, views other human being as „toys“ and has no sense of remorse or whatsoever. But if he´s not a psychopath, why is that? At a certain point in his past he must have learned that people aren´t trustworthy and that he can´t rely on them. Very likely this is because he was let down, or worse, even endangered, by the people who were supposed to protect him; his primary caregivers. For this reason Hisoka stands for himself, trusts no one and is a lone wolf at heart as an adult. This theory is also supported by the fact that he seems very touch starved and even tries to get along with people occasionally, almost as if he longs for closeness and affiliation, until his own psychology torpedos his newly built and therefore still fragile relationships, because the desire of self-preservation is superior to that of belonging. So he pushes others purposely away, to not take the risk of any emotional damage. Also, the fact that at a certain point Hisoka apparently linked affection with physical violence, pain, and even fear of death suggests that the only form of attention he received in his childhood and adolescence were in fact beatings. These early childhood experiences are likely to have been accompanied by a strong and constant sense of lack of control. The only way to gain back control in such situations from which you can´t escape as a defenseless child is to master your own psychology, ergo: burry your emotions, swallow your pain, so it won´t break you. As for today, Hisokas strive to control break others is pretty obviously an overcompensation for his lack of control at the time. Speaking of emotion: I’m pretty sure that Hisoka has emotions, even complex ones, but can only sense them in a pretty aloof way, because the terrible experiences from his past forced him to suppress them and shut himself off from them over many many years, so he has simply forgotten how to feel. This is accompanied by a consuming feeling of emptiness, which is why people who fall under the spectrum of ASPD need strong stimuli to fill the void caused by lack of strong emotion. They often tend to recklessness and take great risks, not infrequently even risking their own death, just as Hisoka does when he challenges strong opponents to battle. His sense of grandeur and superiority I view as another coping strategy. I´m sure that under his nacissistic mask lies just another insecure and deeply intimidated child, so deeply buried that Hisoka might have forgotten about it himself.

Thank you so much for reading.🤍🖤

Part 2

[utilitycaster]

Why do you think Imogen/Laudna is not comparable to Caleb/Veth? At the start of C3, I thought they were similar and thought it was a strange how much Imogen/Laudna was being held up as the pinnacle of relationships in comparison to the hate/minimization that Caleb/Veth got. But I rewatched C2E27 and remembered how honestly they talked through their disagreement, which was way different from Imogen/Laudna's C3E27 reconciliation after the gnarlrock drama. What are your thoughts about it?

(got another anon on this as well as I was writing this up, so other anon, this is also for you!)

That's exactly the same moment I was thinking of! Veth and Caleb are able to disagree with each other in a way Imogen and Laudna aren't. Honestly, even from earlier, they're able to ask things of each other - Caleb outright asks Nott if she'll run away with him, alone, away from the group, if his reveal to Beau goes badly. Nott, even when half the party is missing, in the wake of Molly's death, when all she has is Beau (who she's known for a month and a half) and two allies she's known for a couple of days at most, is able to say "Wrong." to Caleb about something as important, but also as unnecessary as admitting that he cares about the other party members as friends, not just useful alliances. And that's the other thing - Nott is actively encouraging Caleb to make other connections and embracing her own new friendships, and she's willing to risk Caleb being mad with her - which for her, means risking her chance to get back her own body and life - to do it. And this is after less than a year of knowing him.

Laudna can't even say "will you promise not to side with the person who murdered me," let alone point out that Otohan also murdered Fearne, Orym, Eshteross, and Orym's husband and father-in law or that Ludinus casually destroyed Kadija's mind. She can't say this to someone she's lived and traveled with for two years, when the other five party members would all agree with her and stand by her. There's no trust. You know the phrase "if you love someone, let them go?" Laudna's too terrified to let go, and Veth isn't.

(I should note - I like Caleb and Veth's dynamic a lot but I never shipped them; but I also will defend them against anyone who denies that there were feelings, or who tries to pretend that Veth's statement that Caleb was like a son to her overrides her later statements about having a crush, or, you know, the fact that they aren't actually related so who the fuck cares. I mean, Vex and Keyleth canonically tell each other they consider each other sisters and that never stopped anyone. So this does come from a place of not shipping either of these pairs.)

So this is why "Imogen and Laudna were never given choices" statement is so hollow and meaningless. Because they're rendering themselves powerless and stripping themselves of all choices. They can't draw boundaries. (For what it's worth, Campaign 1's codependent pair, the twins, are able to draw boundaries without issue; Vax tells Vex to lay off Keyleth quite explicitly despite having only recently agonized over being separated from her for a few days). They can't choose themselves. They can't challenge each other or encourage each other's growth or ask something so important and yet so small as being honest with one's self. They're just so stuck in this holding pattern, even after they've grown in power and seen the possibility of losing each other, whereas Caleb and Veth's relationship constantly changes as they support and challenge each other and ask things of each other. You know what Veth does in episode 48 of that campaign? She screams at Caleb in anger because people connected to him hurt her family, even though Caleb has long since left those people and was a victim himself. Laudna can't even stand up for herself to Imogen (and we know Laudna can stand up for herself; that's what she's doing in the scene with Ashton) against her own murderer, even as Imogen outright entertains the possibility of allying with the Vanguard.

Caleb and Veth trust each other and themselves to still love and care for each other if they disagree. Laudna and Imogen do not.

[mastergeeka]

I’m coming up to about a year of being a NRB fan which means we’re almost at a year since it all went to hell, shall we say. Brilliant timing on my part, thanks so much Universe. But because how much time has passed, I want to take a look back on everything. Time gives a new perspective as they say. Also, I'll be real, I've had these thoughts in my head for months at this point and I need to get them out.

By the time I was seeing information about the situation, I was already like a third of the way through binging everything the channel had ever made. My real life was going through a particularly rough patch and I was definitely using NRB videos as escapism. I ended up deciding that the videos were a source of joy that I needed at the time and since Adam had left and Carley wasn’t appearing on the channel, no matter who was lying vs. telling the truth, my watching of the videos that already were posted would not greatly benefit or punish any involved party so until more details came out, I just tried to ignore the situation. I basically tried to live in a world where both parties were innocent until proven guilty and it was just a really sad misunderstanding or that it never happened at all.

The word “tried” in all those statements is doing a lot of work. Most of the time it worked and I was able to escape reality for a bit, but sometimes my brain would say something like “Am I a bad feminist for not immediately believing the woman, do I just want her to be wrong subconsciously and that’s what’s making me waver? The rule of thumb is believe victims when they speak out”,

“But the ideal of believing the woman/victim doesn’t apply here, no victim has come forward, Carley is just saying that she heard about it and maybe Carley’s just been misinformed or she could be making up rumours. I want to believe that a person can redeem themself and if he took accountability the first time, surely that deserves some credit? That’s what we want people to do after all, take accountability and grow, so we should reward that behavior with trust”

“Sure, but be realistic here, what does your own life experience say is more common and therefore likely with this sort of thing. Don't be naive” and those voices would go at each other, back and forth until I gave up and went to do work or something. So the silver lining there is that at least this kept me from slacking too much. Isn’t that something? I give all this preface to show that this situation isn’t something I’m taking lightly.

Now that I’m in a better place in my real life, I decided I should actually look at everything that happened and see if I could draw any more conclusions to help satisfy the curious/nosy part of my brain. Unsurprisingly, I haven’t been able to crack the case wide open but one thing is clear, and getting clearer by the day: The rest of the cast are on Adam’s side. From the cast members unfollowing Carley, them liking Adam’s statement proclaiming his innocence and his plan for legal action, to recently Jon’s Kickstarter game having a quote from Adam on the front page. These are forms of public support that would be the safest to use if there was a legal battle happening in private.

What this means to me is: Just from a logical standpoint, whatever I believe about Adam, I have to extend it to the whole cast. I can’t condemn Adam but not condemn the rest of the cast. The rest of the cast either know the what happened or didn’t look into the situation enough before standing by Adam. That means if I believe Adam is guilty, I must therefore believe the rest of the cast is complicit and at the end of the day, I just don’t want to do that unless the evidence makes it impossible not to do so.

I really like watching the channel and I don’t want to force myself to stop watching or feel complicit in supporting bad people unless I have to. So until evidence comes out showing otherwise, I believe Adam is innocent. I have to. And if I am wrong, and I must stop watching/supporting NRB as a whole for ethical reasons, at least I gave myself a little more time to enjoy it before I have to say goodbye. Is that selfish? Yeah probably, at least a little if I’m honest, but it’s an understandable level of selfishness that I could forgive someone else for, so I can forgive myself for it, if it turns out for the worst.

And I want to also say that I still think it’s possible Carley isn’t a liar as well. This is not a “Carley is lying” post. If I’m applying innocent before proven guilty to Adam, it’s only fair that I apply it to Carley as well. I’ve tried my absolute best to keep my reasoning consistent across the board with this. I believe she believes what she said but I think it’s possible she could be wrong. And wouldn’t that be nice, if it turned out both parties were innocent and there was just a big confusion? I’ll admit it’s not the likeliest scenario, but I’m still hoping for it. Basically, the more people involved in this that are revealed to not be huge jerks, the happier I’ll be. That’s what dictating my best to worst case scenarios.

The whole reason I wanted to make this post is to remind everyone, including myself, that we as the public still don’t know much of anything. We have 4 comments on a YouTube video on one side and vague PR statements on the other. That’s pretty much it, officially. The rest is just based on how the people involved are interacting with each other and the like. That leaves a lot still up in the air and that’s really frustrating. Uncertainty is one of the worst feelings and I think it’s easier to just say Adam’s guilty and move on than to keep being uncertain about this for so long. Because if he is guilty after all that, we have to process that, on top of having dealt with the terrible uncertainty for this long so we want to “bite the bullet” now, so to speak. It’s less emotionally risky to just assume the worst now, deal with it, then push it into the past and I think there’s a significant portion of fans that did that or that are trying to anyway. The drawback there I want to point out though, is that it ignores the possibility that there is a happier ending to this. Additionally, condemning Adam but trying to stick by the rest of the cast may feel like the simplest & easiest solution at first, but it’s not a realistic one or one that works with the very few pieces of information we do have: the actions of the other cast members.

My goal with this post is not to convince people to either side. That would require me to pick a side and as I think I’ve shown, I can’t. My goal in making this post is to encourage people to keep their minds open to the possibilities out there and remind them not to jump to conclusions too soon. Because one year feels like a decent estimate to me for how long legal stuff like this lasts and I think it’s possible that people could speak freely soon. At least, that's what I'm hoping for and I want other people to have hope, too.