#and it can't be in a public forum or w/ people who already know me‚ out of respect for other people affected by the problems.

[unopenablebox]

once again confronting the fact that i believe that it would help me with my problems to pay someone to listen to me talk about my problems and then get them to professionally approve my conduct and behavior

[dullorangepulp]

persona 5 fans can't keep it in their pants.

an explanation (of my boundaries) under the cut:

this is the haru fanart i posted to reddit that started this whole mess. this completely non-sexual, completely safe-for-work art prompted this guy & his friend to begin leaving sexually-charged comments under my fanart. After I asked him politely to not say that & to delete his comment, he mocked my discomfort & his friend joined in to downplay his actions.

I think I'll have to clarify this so that no one thinks i'm some kinda anti-horny, anti-free speech prude: there is nothing wrong with finding a fictional character attractive. there is nothing wrong with expressing your attraction to a fictional character on a public forum. there is nothing wrong with saying that you find a fictional character hot. I find plenty of fictional characters hot, & if I were confident enough, I'd totally belt out my love for a fictional character from the rooftops.

that's not the problem. the problem is that there was no prompting for this comment whatsoever. the fanart i posted didn't have haru in any kind of skimpy fanservice-y outfit, she wasn't doing anything sexual, she's literally just standing in a white void wearing futaba's normal clothes, so there was no reason for this guy to start salivating at the mouth at my drawing of her.

I'll use some fanart I did of a character in a skimpy fanservice-y outfit as an example of when I'm okay with someone commenting how hot she is:

If someone commented "why is Aigis so hot", I wouldn't be creeped out at all. In fact, I'd probably either express gratitude at them engaging with my post, or I'd just ignore it & not reply. This is because everyone knows playboy bunny costumes are skimpy, fanservice-y outfits worn in adult entertainment spaces. So, it makes perfect sense for someone to comment that they found my art of Aigis in a bunny suit hot, because I drew & then posted this with the awareness/expectation that I'd get that kind of comment. If I didn't want to see people comment that they found my art of "Aigis in a bunny suit" hot, then I would've just never drawn or posted it in the first place. If someone commented that they found Aigis in a bunny suit hot, & I got mad at them over it, then yeah, I'd be overreacting because it wasn't that serious. I'd 100% be the asshole in that scenario, & i'd deserve to get called out for it.

The problem with this guy's comment is just how unnecessary it was. This guy could've just said "why is haru so pretty" or "why is haru so cute" & that wouldn't have made me uncomfortable at all! This is because "pretty" & "cute" are normal, non-sexually-charged compliments that you can just give to strangers & no one would bat an eye. Plus, it'd make me happy to hear that someone found my drawing of Haru pretty/cute, because it'd mean I was able to accurately draw her (since Haru is already very pretty, it's just that me being able to draw her pretty means I've gotten good at drawing characters to look like their canon pretty selves.) I myself have commented on many people's posts & said that I found a fictional character pretty/cute, & it'd be wildly hypocritical of me to say that others can't do the same.

This is especially egregious when you consider that r/churchofharu, the subreddit i posted this fanart on, already ALLOWS NSFW posts! So, this guy could've just made his "why is haru so hot" comment on any of those! But noooo, he had to comment on one of the only few SFW fanarts, & he had to comment "why is haru so hot" instead of "why is haru so pretty" or something else along those lines. You guys just don't understand! He had to tell me "lol just cope" when I expressed my discomfort at him announcing his sexual fantasies to a random stranger, who he doesn't know the boundaries of, whose AGE he doesn't know, & who he doesn't know if I'm fine w/ horny comments in general (which I am, btw, just not on my SFW art.)

That's honestly what upsets me the most; how people online don't take the time to consider how the fanartist themselves feels having to read their degenerate comments. People on the internet in general don't see other internet users as people. & in the internet's post-tiktok era, people don't really see fanartists as people, but as content-creators. This guy & his friend are hardly the first people to not listen to others boundaries, or to overstep them then go "lol just cope" when the person gets upset at them. That's what ragebait is, after all. & everyone knows to just ignore that.

The problem is that this guy isn't trolling or ragebaiting. He's 100% serious, & he actually thinks his actions are perfectly fine. Those are the most dangerous kinds of people; the ones who don't realize the things they say are wrong, who never self-reflect, & who actually treat others like they're not human, because they don't see them as human.

If you got to the end of this & you still somehow think I'm some kind of soyboy, weak willed, anti-sex prude that needs to grow thicker skin, then like, yeah sure, I probably should grow thicker skin (no to all the other stuff tho, did you even read the post? nothing I said was anti-sex or implied that I'm a prude. everything i said contradicts that, in fact). But that doesn't mean that that guy's comment was okay. On any other site, If I don't like a comment on my post, I can just block the person & it'll delete their comment, or I can just delete the comment manually. On reddit though, that person's comment is gonna stay there forever unless a mod deleted it, or they deleted it themself (which I POLITELY asked them to do! you can see how well that turned out -_-)

As a general rule of thumb, don't say things online that you wouldn't say to someone in person. If you wanna say horny things, go to a r34 website or 18+ discord server. If you wanna comment on someone's SFW fanart of a character you find attractive, just say "this character is pretty/cute/whatever". If you think that you can't keep it in your pants & the urge to comment something horny on SFW fanart is too strong, then just scroll past! no one is forcing you to comment on every post you see! & especially no one is forcing you to comment your sexual desires about a character on someone's completely SFW post when the fanartist never asked you to, nor consented to read, nor is old enough to know that you shouldnt normalize leaving sexually-charged comments on people's fanart when you DON'T KNOW THE FANARTIST'S AGE.

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

Hi! I just dropped to say thank you on the comment you left on that fic writer complaining about having "old people" reading their fics. I'm 35 and it's already difficult to be an active fan within kpop because everyone thinks you're old, and now to tell me I could be Felix's mother (not even close) so I shouldn't read smut about him it's just so... Invalidating. He's an adult, he's in his 20's, I've seen people date with bigger age gaps (usually the man being older), and reading is just a fantasy??? It's a lot, for someone to tell me who and what I can and can't like? Awful. Sorry I end up venting, but I really wanted you to know I appreciate the comment because you really explained the point there perfectly.

I hope you had a great start of the year ❤️

Hello and happy new year! I first want to say thank you this message whoever you are anon. It encourages me to know that others feel the same as me. I'm sure even as anon, it wasn't easy to send this message especially when the fic writer is active on here (although blocked by me). And you're welcome. I was so bothered by it that I couldn't let it go without saying something. Ageism has never been an issue in fanfiction when I was growing up and I sure as hell am not going to let it happen now.

I'm gonna put a read more after this and dive into your message that I hope you see. 💜

I've been discussing this issue with fellow fanfic writers and readers and we're all on the same page thinking this situation is silly. One, although it is real person fiction, the Felix in the story is a character. He is not the exact embodiment of Felix of SKZ. The reaction of said fic writer gives the impression that they believe the Felix in their story is a perfect and exact replica of him. Which is impossible considering none of us know h personally or that intimately.

Two, he is 22 fucking (pardon) years old. He is a legal adult. I type up marriages at my work and I've seen people with 30+ age gaps get married. And shockingly, married couples often have sex. It might be odd for most of us, but it's not wrong.

Three (this topic really gets me ranting), if there is an issue with Felix being sexualized by an older reader (who really isn't that old), there should be an issue with him being sexualized in the first place. He can see anything written about him. It's on a public forum. The funny thing about public forums is anyone can read anything. Minors, adults, anyone.

Four, will the fic writer take down their fics once they hit 35+? The Felix in their story is his current age of 22, yes? So, that would make them too old to read that fic if they plan to live by that rule. Also, when they get older, will they decide to read smut between people their age? Or is it not sexier to read about younger adults getting in on when you still remember what that part of life was like? Being that it's fiction, it's not creepy or perverted to read it. Even in real person fiction because it's as you said: fantasy.

I want you to know that it is valid for you to feel that way about someone saying a certain age can't read smut about a 22 year old despite it being fiction and fantasy. Most people our age can define the line between reality and fiction. We know that Felix in a smut fic (or any fic) is not Felix irl.

To the reader who was condemned for reading that Felix smut, I'm sorry if the situation has made you feel shunned from a hobby you've probably held for a long time as a way to escape. Fanfiction has always been an open community since even before I started reading it and there's been an unfortunate shift that is killing off readership and I hate that it's happening. I'm sure you understand that the Felix in fics is a character and not the real person (boy that'd be pretty awkward 😅). It's not your fault that a writer can't see that it's just fantasy that you were enjoying. If you haven't blocked them, I would encourage it. They don't want you to read their stuff anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

To all older readers/writers 35+, know that my blog is a safe space for you. You can share your rants and sadness and any other emotions you have about this strange trend in fanfiction. Reading smut about real people who are younger than you is not wrong. They are merely characters who share some characteristics and a name.

Sorry I turned your message into a ranting platform, but I've been so bothered by this issue because it shouldn't even be an issue. If you haven't blocked the fic writer, I encourage that you do because you're right in that age range of people they don't want reading their stuff. They won't miss your readership. I honestly blocked them as soon as they responded to me because it wasn't worth the battle and they clearly don't want my readership either. The beauty of Tumblr is how easy it is to block blogs to eliminate toxicity. ☺️ Thank you again for the message and I hope you find future fics with writers who don't mind older readers reading their smut. 💜 And you also have a safe place here on my blog.