#and it can be v hard to remember what i've answered and what i haven't

[bthump]

Hi! I’ve just finished the manga recently, and i dug up your blog at 1am bc i was soooo into your analyses! The thing is, the latest chapters are so confusing to me, can you share some thoughts on that? Why do you think Griffith kidnapped Casca? It must be the fetus but, still. Why did he cry? Or what do you think Guts is thinking? Looking forward to your reply!

Oh my god, I think I completely missed this ask somehow, I'm sorry! I hope you see this even though it's been like a month lol.

Yeah I also find the latest chapters a little confusing, probably in part due to the new team taking over and finding their feet.

I'm going on the assumption that Griffith kidnapped Casca to keep the moonboy from wandering off when he transforms into it once a month lol, but I assume we'll find out for sure eventually. It seems like a reasonable theory for now.

I think he cried because he's feeling his own feelings. Possibly his feelings are stronger shortly after transforming back from Moonbaby, as he implies in his dialogue ("That, too, will soon disappear...") but I definitely believe his feelings are his own, and not residual feelings from Moonbaby. I mean first of all, logically, Moonbaby is happy while playing with Guts and Casca, but Griffith is crying out of a sense of "nostalgia." But also more significantly, the story just doesn't work nearly as well if Griffith's feelings really are gone and now he's feeling baby feelings instead, which just happen to mimic the feelings that have been driving the story along for 371 chapters now.

Guts seems to be pretty focused on feeling betrayed by his sword right now lol. This is probably the hardest question to answer for me, mostly because Miura is no longer writing it, so we don't get the emotional nuances he's always been amazing at. I'm sure if he was writing the last few chapters Guts' emotional state would be incredibly interesting and rewarding to delve into and try to analyze. But what we got was Guts in single-minded attack-mode, followed by Guts despairing over failing to hurt Griffith, and feeling betrayed by his sword.

Which is fine, I guess, if kind of silly in the way its been depicted so far lol. It's potentially interesting that he didn't lose himself to the armour while fighting Griffith for some reason - you'd think he would have, considering how one-dimensional his rage seemed to be in that scene, but maybe Griffith making Guts forget his "urge to kill," could factor in there? I'd like to think that if Miura was still writing the story Guts' rage would have a greater sense of emotional complexity to it, after all, like during the Hill of Swords confrontation.

And as for his feelings about his sword, I think that's meant to signify his self-doubt, given the way he views his sword as an intrinsic part of him (and the way he always reroutes more difficult feelings into simpler ones). Guts freaking out over his sword is Guts freaking out over his own abilities - physical, and maybe mental/emotional too, especially if the lack of berserk armour is a factor.

I think that at this point it seems likely that the armour is going to take over in the next few chapters, based largely on the way Guts' little emotional spiral on the boat features metaphorical breaking chains and a potential visual parallel to Griffith's transformation:

Thanks for the ask, and sorry it took so long lol.

[bi-writes]

bestfriend!roommate!simon helps you get dressed for a night out because i love when men kneel

cw: nsfw content (18+), suggestive language and content, mature language and content, kisses through the mask, size kink, praise kink, a little oral (fem!receiving), a little suggestive touching (fem!receiving), simon likes thicc thighs, simon "my girl doesnt lift a finger because i worship her" riley

more bestfriend!roommate!simon

you haven't gone out in a long time. you were stuck working overnight shifts at the diner for extra money, busy every time you got a friendly text or a sweet call asking if you'd like to join your friends.

you hadn't told simon yet. you hadn't told him you were leaving tonight, but more worriedly, you hadn't told him you were struggling paying the bills. you scraped by the edges of your teeth last month to give him your half, and you remember looking at the cash in your wallet afterwards and wanting to vomit.

it was embarrassing. the landlord just kept urging you both for more, and while simon was always able to negotiate the raise every few months (one look at simon, and he always lowered his number), you were finding it difficult to keep up.

simon was successful. he was a decorated lieutenant, and he had many powerful friends. he never indulged in showing off his wealth; he wasn't raised with money, neither were you, and it was more than he knew what to do with. you remembered walking past him one night as he paid off a credit card on his laptop. you gagged when you saw the number in his account, the commas in the number.

why the fuck was in this piece of shit place with you when he could buy a house on a pebbled beach somewhere?

the dress was not cooperating. it had many straps that came in at the back, and they were twisted and crooked, looped around the corset back and making you a little frustrated. you sighed deeply before making your way across the hall, knocking gently on the bedroom across from you.

"simon?" there was no answer. "simon, i...could you help me for a second?"

the door opened a few moments later. a surgical mask was fit over his nose and mouth, a beanie over his head to cover the rest of him. you turned around in front of him, looking over your shoulder.

"i need help. it's all a mess, i can feel it."

his dark eyes flickered down to the back of your dress. the skin of your back was bare. you weren't wearing a bra underneath. you help up the front of the dress with both of your hands, cupping your breasts to keep it situated as simon finally reached over and began to unravel the laces of the corset.

"you goin' out?"

you nodded, rocking to the side a bit as he tugged the edges of the laces loose and began to tighten up the back of the corset. you held onto your stomach as the fabric of it began to shape the curve of your waist.

"yeah, just with some of the girls. they've been dying to go out, but i've just been working so much..."

"hmmm," he grunted in agreement. "'v hardly seen your face around here."

you sighed as he straightened out the straps, tying off the end of the corset with a tight bow at the bottom. you turned around to face him, and simon had to bite back the curse threatening to leave at the sight of you. the skin along your chest looked so soft, plump to the touch. he wanted to lean down and lick over the curve of your breasts right there, feel it bounce back with a hard kiss, watch your nipples harden if he blew on the sensitive contours of your neck.

"sorry...work has been...really busy."

"dunno 'bout that, luv. i know you're pickin' up shifts. i can hear you on the phone, asking to come in."

there was something more in that comment, something more he wanted to say lingering in the air. you frowned a little, meeting his eyes.

"im just trying to make extra money, simon, thats all."

he leaned in a little closer.

"if you need help--"

"no," you said immediately, shaking your head. "i know what you're going to say. i don't need your...i'm fine."

simon lowered his head slightly. for a moment, just one fleeting moment, you suddenly understand perhaps why men cowered on the battlefield. there was something dull and lifeless swirling there in his eyes. he was so much larger than you, big enough that he could probably wrap his whole hand around your neck and squeeze, and the life would leave you easy--and somehow you knew, those eyes wouldn't change, even knowing they would have taken the light from your own.

you knew, suddenly, that you were face to face with somebody else. a beast with a quiet name, a killer that rarely made a sound, the last whisper that one might ever hear.

you had angered simon, and his protector had come.

"you're lyin'."

"simon--"

"you're lyin' to me, sweetheart. where are your fuckin' manners?"

"i'm not one of your fucking soliders, simon. you can't give me orders," you snapped. you moved past him, hitting his shoulder with your own and going back into your room. you picked up your heels, taking a seat on your bed as you furiously slipped them on. your shadow followed, coming into your room and standing before you.

"how many times? how many times have i asked if everything is straight?"

you ignored him, continuing to slip your shoes on. of course, the ones you had picked out for tonight had straps that needed to be tied up your ankle.

"so i'm going to ask you again, luv, and you're gonna answer me well. do you need my bloody help?"

you let go of the ribbons of your shoes, letting them fall. you put your hands into your lap, your eyes on your crudely painted nails and skin of your knees and the way the shadow at your front began to come closer.

you swallowed hard when he knelt down at your feet. you watched with soft eyes as he picked up your foot gently by the ankle, resting it on his thigh. his gloved hands picked up the silk ribbons, beginning to cross them over your ankle. he straightened out the creases and made sure not to tie them twisted, being careful to make the ribbons look presentable.

when he finished tying the bow on one foot, he brought your ankle up, pressing the mouth of his mask to the silk of it and letting it fall. he picked up your other foot just as tenderly and with the precision of a sniper, he tied your ribbons and pressed a kiss to the silk.

with both your feet on the ground, and simon on his knees seemingly not going anywhere, you reached forward and slipped a hand under the hood, caressing one side of his face.

your palm was warm, fitting into the curve of his cheek. the fabric of his mask was soft as always, black cotton that shielded his pretty face from your eyes always. you never cared to look under it, never felt the need to make him take it off. even now, with his face in your hands, you felt no urge to see what was underneath. as far as you were concerned, the mask was his face--even if you had once seen that face and how stupidly handsome he was.

simon was an enigma. he had a poker face that many envied; the mask hid so much of his emotions, so much of what he might feel, and often he was even able to control the scrunch of his brows or the twitch of his eyes so you could read nothing. but he needed his eyes; he needed them to see, to engage, and if he could cover them, he would, but he needed them, so they were dark and wide, the one piece of him that he allowed.

so you tilted his head back with your hand on his face, letting the soft light of the room break him his hiding place. he wasn't wearing any eye-black today, and you smoothed a thumb just under his eye, watching his lashes flutter for a second. fuck, he was so pretty.

"you worry too much, simon," you whispered. "i'm fine. i promise."

you leaned forward, sighing deeply.

"i promise, simon," you said under your breath. "if something was wrong, i would tell you."

you tried looking into his eyes to convince him, but you knew as soon as you did, that you crucified the lie. something was wrong. you were scraping along, getting dragged by life, but you had learned a long time ago how to bury things into a box and swallow it all down.

you knew, also, that he didn't believe you. simon was too intelligent a man to think you were being honest there, but he didn't say anything. he just followed the warmth of your hand, and if he was a cat, he'd be purring.

you moved to stand, but simon reached for you, his gloved hands on your knees as he held you there. you opened your mouth to speak, but then he leaned forward, his head against your chest as he held you close. it forced your knees to spread to make room for him, and you sucked in a breath as both of his palms slipped up your thighs and caressed the soft skin there.

"simon--"

"don't want to bloody talk--"

"but--simon--"

it happened fast. one moment, you were sitting upright, cradling his head to your chest and feeling his hands along thighs, and the next, you were on your back, splayed across your bed, your dress riding up your hips and the stilettos of your heels digging into the meat of simon's back.

simon was not all muscle; sometimes, when he relaxed, you could feel the softness of him under your palm, a warmth that was solid, like a bear--something protective and built to last, like the foundations of a good home. and then sometimes he was like this--tense all over, muscles constricted, abdomen as taut as a rock, arms bulging as they worked and lifted and manhandled you like the lieutenant he was.

his head was buried between your thighs. you panted, breath heavy as you felt his heavy breath suddenly, his mask pushed up just enough so that he could lick a warm stripe up the inside of your thigh.

"you won't talk," simon murmured against the skin there. he wrapped his arms around your thighs, yanking you forward until he could kiss where your pelvis met your thigh. you shuddered at the feeling of his lips grazing the lace of your panties. "you won't fuckin' talk, but you will sing for me, luv."

"simon, i need to go..."

your voice was protesting, but your hands found the back of his head, smoothing over the locks of his hair. you whimpered when you felt the wetness of his tongue along the fabric of your panties. his entire mouth enveloped your mound, jaw hinging wide as he tasted you through the lace. you bucked up into his mouth, your hips chasing the wet feeling. he growled out angrily, keeping your hips pinned down as he sucked messily, his teeth nipping at the delicate lingerie.

you sucked in a shaky breath as he used a gloved finger to push it to the side, your cunt on display. he cursed when he spread your folds, watching the drip of you as it drenched your panties more, your sweet hole puckering around nothing.

"fuckin' hell--" he sucked on his teeth. "you're fuckin' drippin', luv."

"s-simon, i-i...i can explain, i..."

"don't have to explain anythin'."

you whined as he finally put his mouth on you. his tongue started low, teasing your cunt with a slow circle before curling, trying to flood his mouth with the taste of you. you tasted good, tasted familiar somehow, and his chest swelled at the thought that you were this wet because you were thinking about him.

he could listen to you for hours. the moans that passed through your glossy lips, the languid roll of your hips as you chased his tongue, the sweat that gathered at the base of your spine and along your forehead and the sound of his name sputtering in choked breaths out of your gorgeous mouth.

a vision. simon didnt believe paradise existed, but he believed there was something close to it. it used to be the side of a bullet hitting exactly where he aimed, the feel of foreign soil hitting his enemy's eyes before he took them down, getting his squad out of the gutter when they were pinned down on all sides. he was good at his job. he was good on the field, he was good with chaos, but this was new.

this feeling had always been somewhere under the surface whenever he was with you. he didn't recognize it at first because he had never felt anything quite like it. the feeling one gets when they get home after a long day. the light in someone's eyes when they see a face they recognize when they're in a place they don't belong. the light of a flame in room so dark, you can't see your hands held up in front of your face.

he wondered sometimes if he had ever felt this way with his family. if looking into his nephew's eyes, he had ever felt something like this--and he did, somewhat, but this was more. this wasn't the gentle nip of a soft animal, this kind of love had fangs, and it had sunk itself so deep into him, he knew it was latched onto him. sucking on his blood, draining the shit from his veins, and putting something else there, something addicting.

and he didn't care. he gripped your hips with his gloved hands, sucking on your clit and licking up the slick of you and trying so hard to please the woman that plagued every fucking thought in his head.

"simon--"

your voice was a sob, practically. whining his name, tears coming down your face as he ate you out furiously. he was gentle at first, and then he was nearly aggressive, slurping at your folds and fucking into your cunt and barely coming up for air. when he did come up, his tone was low and drunk-sounding, slurring out soft phrases of "like a fuckin' sweet" and "so fuckin' pretty."

your back arched off the bed. your makeup was ruined by now, surely. your corset askew, your stilettos digging dark holes into his back, your throat hoarse from the crying--simon had you like no one else. simon had you wrapped so tightly around his gloved finger, you might as well have been a brand there--an extension of that glove, one of the crude white bones painted along the back of his hand. he had carved a hole so deep inside of you, shaped perfectly to the beastly size of him; you would never be rid of him. your whole life after this, you just knew--nobody would ever eat your cunt the way lieutenant simon riley ate it, that was a fucking fact.

he moaned when you came. a deep, guttural moan that came from deep in his chest. his eyes rolled to the back of his head when you gushed right onto his tongue. he drank it like he was running desert dry, a kind of eagerness that was making your vision go a little fuzzy, sparkling dots hazing over you. your head was a mess of emotions, all clouded over by pleasure and your body limp in his arms. your body was jelly, so worn as if you had been fucked brainless, but, oh--simon hadn't even gotten that far with you, and his mouth had you spineless.

you sat up, hair tousled, legs shaking, breaths warm and heavy and easy. everything was easy with simon. living, breathing, loving, touching--everything was easy.

he stood up finally, rising from his knees and rolling out his shoulders, and even though you could see him subtly adjusting his pants, he didn't make a move on you. he didn't reach for you, didn't try and touch you again, didn't reach for the bow he had tied on your corset to try and undo it. no, simon had just given you a mind-numbing orgasm and if not for the strain on his zipper, you'd think he had just filed his fucking taxes.

"simon...s-simon--"

"have fun tonight," he murmured, brushing a stray hair out of your face. he tucked it behind your ear, the glove making you shiver. "you call me when y'ready to come home."

your lashes fluttered as you looked up at him, a soft smile on your face.

"m-maybe i dont...maybe i don't wanna go out, m-maybe i wanna stay here...with you...w-watch movies like we usually do."

he shook his head, his thumb swiping just under your chin.

"no. go have fun. i'll be waitin' here for you, luv."

his fingers traced along your neck, something in his eyes that said he wanted more. but a ghost doesn't beg, right?

but maybe simon does.

"okay. i'll call you."

"right then."

and when the click of your bedroom door shut, you looked down at your shoes, so prettily tied with a bow on the end. you reached down, gripping the end of the bow and pulling, watching the silk unravel and come undone.

and then he heard the call of his name again.

[hispg]

Comfort

Pairings: R4! Leon x Fem! Reader

Summary: Your husband is glad that he has you, just like he's glad to have his little family.

Wc:4.8k

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, p in v, mentions of ptsd, mentions of birth and pregnancy, soft sex(nothing too kinky), oral sex(f receiving), just Leon being a sweetheart.

An:So, this week has been very busy for me. As I've been saying in my last few posts, university has been taking up a lot of my time, as well as my mental health being pretty messed up. I didn't manage to finish the chapter of 'Between Love and Vows' so I probably won't post anything new until next week. In compensation, I'll post another one of my drafts (smut), I'll make a poll so you guys can choose. And next week I'll post two new chapters of the series! Thanks for your love and understanding <3 If I haven't answered your comment, ask or request, don't worry, I will eventually🫶🫶

MDNI

Sleepless nights, the nightmares that kept tormenting him, his mind that was in turmoil all the time. Leon was used to all this, he had already realized that these were sensations he would carry with him for the rest of his life.

His trauma, ptsd that haunted him every day. Things he had seen and heard, all so fresh in his memory, so vivid. Things that no matter how hard he tried to forget, he couldn't. As if it were a mark stamped on his soul.

But he coped, as he always does with everything in life. Little by little, he understood how to deal with panic attacks, how to calm down even when he was about to collapse. He learned all this, but that didn't make things any less worse than they were.

Although he thought he had everything under control, that it wouldn't affect him as much as before, he was wrong.

His last mission in Spain proved it, he went from hell to heaven to save the president's daughter. Everything worked out in the end, but that doesn't erase what he experienced or saw.

Many times he could have sworn that if it hadn't been for you, he would have gone mad a long time ago. Even if you weren't able to end the pain he felt, you were there to be the light at the end of the tunnel for him, the clarity to his own insanity.

All this because every time he returned from a mission, he came home first, not caring if he was all dirty with mud and dirt, even blood. His safe haven was here, with you.

That was the only reason he always came home, no matter how difficult things might be for him. You were what he needed, you were the person who healed all his wounds, and he couldn't be more grateful.

If it had been anyone else, he would have left you by now, but you understood him. You listened to him even if he didn't make any sense, you were still there.

Your love was the remedy for all his problems.

And if he was being honest, it was the reason he woke up every day, the only reason he had a place to call home. You, simply you.

And that night, he found himself on another one of those nights when he couldn't sleep, and there he was, pacing around the house, finding something to occupy his mind.

It had been two weeks since he had returned from his mission in Spain, and he was still terrified by everything that had happened, even though he was safe and sound in the comfort of his own home.

He woke up from a nightmare, yet another one. And in order not to wake you too, he preferred to get out of bed. You were already tired enough to have to deal with him in the wee hours of the morning.

He was so careful with you, even though you had told him several times that it was okay for him to wake you up if he needed to. But he was stubborn enough to say no.

As he made some tea, just to see if it would calm his nerves, he watched the rain falling outside, the gentle drips hitting the window.

In that silence he began to have some sweet memories, it always helped to calm him down a little. One of those memories was when he asked you to marry him, God, he still remembers the nervousness that ran through his whole body. The trembling hands that held the box with the ring, the words that he had rehearsed so much and still came out messy. He was so afraid of being told no, but his heart calmed down when you smiled and threw yourself into his arms, saying yes again and again, making his heart melt each time.

That night he fell even more in love with you, if that were possible.

When you started living together, every time he came home he was greeted with a hug, you welcomed him with love and affection. He felt his cold exterior crumble at the same moment, words couldn't describe how much he liked it. Every little gesture that came from you, no matter what, he always took it to heart and considered it with all his soul.

He still vividly remembered a conversation he had with you as soon as you moved in together. It never failed to crack a smile.

"Darling, did you let something burn?" Leon asks as he feeds himself, looking around the kitchen.

You look at him with a laugh, seeing that he arrived so tired that he didn't even realize he was still in his work clothes. And then you answer, "No, why do you ask?"

"Nothing, it's just that something stinks." He says quietly, focused on finishing his food.

You can't help yourself and a giggle escapes your lips, "You haven't showered yet, sweetheart."

"Oh..." He mumbles, looking down at his state.

He was so entertained that he only noticed a baby crying from one of the bedrooms, it was you guys son.

He didn't hesitate to go into the baby's room, watching the little one whimpering in his crib, even though he was warm and comfortable in his blankets, the little boy was still bothered by something.

Leon imagined that he wasn't hungry, since you had fed him not long ago. Then he thought it might be his diaper that was dirty, which he soon confirmed.

So the baby was in his arms the next second, he put the little boy on the changing table and changed him properly, not forgetting a single detail, from carefully wiping him down with a wet wipe, to the ointment he had to apply to prevent diaper rash.

He checked the diaper to make sure it was fastened properly. Once he'd checked everything, he rocked the baby in his arms until the little one fell asleep again.

He even sang a lullaby, one of the little boy's favorites. He still thought it sounded ridiculous, but he didn't care as long as it soothed the baby.

Every time he looked at the little one's face, he couldn't hold back the loving smile that always appeared on his lips. It was still hard to believe that he had his own little family.

It's still clear in his memory when you announced that you were pregnant, the uncertainty and fear that consumed him. The anguish he felt, the apprehension of being a bad father. As well as the shock he felt when he received the news, since it wasn't something either of you were expecting. Not least because you had just started living together, so it was a lot all at once. But nothing that shook the relationship, quite the opposite.

But every time he saw you laugh, every time you came home with a little baby thing, whether it was clothes, shoes or even a toy. He couldn't contain his joy at the thought that he was going to be a father, that he was going to have a child.

It wasn't long before he started buying lots and lots of things for the baby, rattles, diapers, baby cloths, various types of educational toys, plush toys and everything else.

In a matter of weeks, the spare room in the house was full and ready to receive the baby, even if you weren't that far along in your pregnancy.

Not only did he become even more protective, the kind that wouldn't even let you lift a thing, but he accompanied you throughout your pregnancy. From start to finish. Even though he sometimes had to leave for work, he never failed to call you, even if it was late at night.

He always made video calls to see how you were doing, even talking to the baby in your belly on the phone. Even if they were quick calls, he still made sure they happened.

It was obvious that he wanted to be there for you, and he made it clear whenever he could, because he did everything for you, simply everything. Craves? He'd arrange anything you wanted. Going out late at night to buy a slice of cake in a particular flavor? Well, he was there. He would go to the end of the earth to find whatever you wanted.

When you were uncomfortable he was there, always whispering kind things to you, always trying to calm you down and relax in his embrace, trying to give you all the security you could have. He still remembers when your water broke, you were so calm, and he was about to have a heart attack.

Yet he was with you the whole way, holding your hand as you went into labor.

But all his worry went away as soon as he heard the baby's cry, the little being that had just come out of you. He still remembers the unconditional love he felt as soon as he laid eyes on the little one, as soon as he saw you cradling the boy in your arms, crying with exhaustion and joy. Just as he was crying as much as the baby, he felt so happy that he couldn't imagine being anywhere else but there with you and your bundle of joy.

"What are we going to call him?" Leon asked through tears, wiping away his own with the back of his hand.

"I don't know, sweetheart, we agreed that if it was a boy you'd choose." You say in a whisper, giving him a small smile. Rocking the newborn in your arms.

"No, I'd rather you chose." He says softly, running his fingers through the baby's thin golden strands, which by the way had the same hair as his father.

"Leon-," he doesn't let you finish, giving you a kiss on the lips. Letting his forehead rest on yours, looking at you with tear-filled eyes and a sweet smile.

"You've already given me one of the greatest joys of my life. Nothing could be fairer than for you to choose any name you like." Kind words that made your heart melt, and you just nodded.

At that moment he realized that there was no better place in the world. That there was nowhere else he wanted to be, all he needed was you.

While he was lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice that the little one had already fallen asleep, making cooing noises, his mouth hanging open while he slept peacefully. Even the way he slept was like Leon's, it was funny to see how similar the two of them were.

Then he slowly placed the little one in his crib, tucking him into the covers and making sure he was warm and comfortable for the rest of the night.

He stayed for a few more minutes, humming some more until he was sure the boy wouldn't wake up too soon.

After that he moved into the kitchen, where he found you awake, which was enough to make him wrinkle his eyebrows.

"Love?" He asks softly, moving towards you.

You answer him with a smile, giving him a hug, "You should have called me."

He shakes his head, kissing the top of your head, "I didn't have to."

You pout, giving him a playful pat on the shoulder.

"Here, I've made your tea. I've also put out a slice of cake for you." You murmur with a smile, pointing to the plate on the table.

He chuckles, holding your face and kissing the tip of your nose.

"You're amazing." He whispers before walking over to the table and sitting down, taking a sip of tea and eating the cake, which, by the way, was his favorite flavor.

So you sat next to him, waiting for him to finish eating silently.

"Your food is fucking good." Leon says, taking a bite of his cake and smiling at you.

You couldn't help but giggle, knowing that even if you burned the food, he'd eat it and say it was good.

"No, you're just being nice." You say softly, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

He laughed genuinely, entwining his fingers with yours. Then he lifted your hand and kissed the back of it.

You were always amazed by his loving gestures, which he always made towards you. And so the two of you remained until he had finished eating, rubbing his thumb against your hand to give it a gentle caress.

When he had finished, he leaned back in his chair and sighed, looking at you with a smile. But you couldn't help noticing the dark circles under his eyes, just as he still had a few scratches and bruises all over his body. As well as the scars, some new, some old. All a mark of his profession.

"Did you have another nightmare?" you ask, running your fingers along his cheekbones, smiling softly.

He nodded with a tired sigh, leaning into your touch, "No big deal."

You knew that he always hid these things from you, not least because it took time for him to feel comfortable sharing the events of his mission with you.

"You can tell me, smartass." You said smiling, rubbing your nose against his, letting his hand rest on the small of your back.

His lips curved into a small smile, just as his eyes met yours. And that was enough to make you blush slightly, no matter how long you'd been together, he always had that effect on you.

The rain began to fall harder outside, enough to make you both look out of the window. The rain left a comfortable atmosphere in the kitchen, just the two of you sharing the warmth of your bodies, making that cold night a little warmer.

You picked up the dishes and took them to the sink, taking the opportunity to wash them right away. And it wasn't long before you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist, just as he rested his chin on your shoulder, his warm breath beating against you.

"I swear to God I love the smell of your lotion." He purrs, rubbing his nose against your neck, hugging you tightly.

You smiled, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. Even if it was late at night, those moments were so precious to you both. A little intimacy was always nice.

But even with all the affection coming from him, you could feel how tense his muscles were, how his breathing wasn't very regulated. Every time he had these nightmares, they took a while to wear off, and he was still scared for a good few hours.

You then turned to him, held his face in your hands and looked at him seriously, "You should have called me."

He knew how this conversation would go. But to be honest, he wasn't paying attention to your speech, only to the way your lips moved as you spoke, your sweet voice entering his ears. Even if it was you scolding him.

All he could do was give you a silly little smile, stroking your cheeks with his thumb. No matter how much you talked, he would forget the next day. He just didn't want to worry you with his work matters.

Gently he put his index finger to your lips, whispering, "Why don't you hush, darling?"

You widened your eyes, preparing to protest, but he interrupted you, giving you a loving kiss. The kiss was full of affection and tenderness, just as he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around your waist once again, gluing your body to his.

Without giving you time to say another word, he carried you in his arms, taking you to your room like a princess, as if you weighed nothing, he did it with the purest ease.

His grip was firm, as if he didn't want to let you go, he wanted to have you there, in his arms.

Your room was dark, lit only by the faint light of the moon, while the rain continued to fall outside. It wasn't long before he laid you down on the mattress, letting you sink into the soft surface.

The door locked, the baby asleep, just the two of you in that room. The perfect moment for what was about to happen.

No matter how many times Leon looked at you, he always lost his breath, his breath caught in his throat.

You were so beautiful, so perfect, he didn't know how he had been so lucky to have found someone like you, and he couldn't thank you enough for that.

His hands began to move slowly up your thigh, callused fingers caressing the soft skin, letting his hand wander over the flesh, touching you with all the passion he had to offer. And he would do this for the rest of your life.

His mouth finding your neck, his hot breath making you gasp, letting him do whatever he wanted with you.

Soon the wet kisses began, leaving his lips hovering over the weak spots that he knew, he knew exactly where to touch, because he knew well that every touch of his made your body shiver with desire.

"You're beautiful." He whispers, giving your thigh a light squeeze, feeling the soft fabric of your nightgown on the back of his hand.

You give a sly smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close.

He soon understands what you want, and he gives it to you right away. A tender, passionate kiss, gently capturing your lips.

You don't know how, but he always manages to show his devotion to you with every kiss, every touch, every night of love. He makes it seem like the first time, always showing you how much he loves you.

His fingers keep tracing your thigh, feeling how warm your body gets from his touch. Your body reacting under his, squirming and shivering, an incentive for him.

When he pulls away from you a little, just to stop the kiss. He nibbles your lip, lifts your leg and grabs the back of your thigh.

Making a point of giving you wet kisses all over your neck, shoulders, collar bone, all to hear the sweet sounds that escaped your lips every time, the way you begged softly for him to continue.

"Oh, fuck Leon..." You whimpered, watching his fingers purposely wrap around the strap of your panties, he was taking his time.

As he always did, because he wanted to make sure he gave you all the affection he could give.

As soon as their trail of kisses went down to your chest, he spared no effort in giving little kisses to your nipples, which were already hard, crying out for any kind of touch and attention.

It was more than enough for you to let out several moans and low squeaks, letting your hands nestle in his golden strands, feeling the softness they contained.

Both his hands slid under your nightgown, and before long his fingers were playing with the waist line of your panties, fingering and stretching, all the while keeping an eye on your every reaction.

The look he had in store for you was yours alone, he had never looked at anyone else like that. Nor would he ever, you were the only one capable of bringing it out of him. The only one.

Just as you never tired of looking into those gentle blue eyes, similar to the color of the sky, or even the ocean. You lost your breath every time.

And there he went, slowly dropping wet kisses over the thin fabric of your nightgown, feeling your body tremble beneath his, just as he made a point of running his fingers over the wet surface of your panties, only to give a smug smile, knowing that he could get you soaking wet for so little.

As soon as he reached your navel, he lifted your nightgown completely, exposing your lower body, which was enough for him to let out a low noise, excited by the image in front of him. Which only fueled his cock to throb even more under his pants.

"I wonder what I did to make you like this." Leon said with a sly, mischievous smile, sliding his index finger down your slit.

Did he know the answer? Of course he did. But it was nicer to hear it from your mouth, your sweet voice echoing through the room.

"You know, you just need to touch me..." You said with a pout, looking at him with piteous eyes, a look he already knew well. And yet it broke his smile every time.

"Because of me?" He purrs, pushing his fingertips against your covered pussy, teasing you as far as he can.

You whimper, spreading your legs as if it were an automatic reaction from your body. Understanding the signal, he pulls you a little closer to the edge of the bed, taking off your panties and sliding them down your legs, soon the garment was lying in a corner of the room.

You were there, completely exposed to him, legs dangling from his shoulders, clit throbbing and begging him to do something.

It felt like magic, every time he touched you he was able to drive you crazy with the smallest things. You often got wet just watching him, seeing the way the muscles in his arms flexed every time he held your legs tighter.

Or the way he always looked at you throughout the process, as he positioned his face close to your center, biting and licking your inner thigh, making sure to leave soft marks all over the area. He loved looking at the love bites the next day, not least because you looked beautiful with each one.

"You're all mine, aren't you?" He asked in a whisper, which sounded more like a question to himself. Especially because he didn't even need to hear the answer.

You were about to answer, but your mind turned to crumbs as soon as he started planting wet, caressing kisses in your folds, letting his tongue linger in certain spots.

His wet muscle slid into your wet pussy, making you arch your body and tremble under him. The tip of his tongue brushed against your clit, swirling around your sensitive part, enough for you to roll your eyes and moan a little louder.

"That's so good, so good..." You mumble, biting your lower lip to hold back your moans.

Every time he eat you out, he didn't hold back with the noises he made, he didn't even care about the slurping noises he made, or the way he did it in a completely sloppy way.

Not least because he never wasted any time, it wasn't long before he was fucking you with his tongue. Moving in and out, hitting all your sweet spots.

It didn't take long for you to be a mess, moaning and whimpering, your sounds echoing around the room. Your hands nestled in his hair, pushing his head against you, letting him get buried in your thighs.

Despite this, you couldn't help but crave his cock, a need to have it inside you, you needed him fucking you.

"Leon..." You called out, rolling your hips against his mouth, you could already feel your orgasm approaching.

He smiled sideways, kissing all over your intimate area, making a point of running his tongue over it in the process. The way he did this so masterfully left no doubt that he knew exactly what to do to bring you to the edge, he knew exactly.

As soon as he started tongue-fucking you one more time, it was enough for you to come apart in his mouth, gushing out all your climax. You could feel your body hot and bothered, your mind confused and without any other thoughts. It was surreal the way your orgasms with him were always that intense.

Just as he spared no expense in giving you sloppy, wet kisses on your wet folds, as if he were smoothing the area, taking the opportunity to clean up the mess that was between your legs. Even though he was about to make another one.

"It tastes fucking good, love." He purrs, licking his lips and lifting his head.

Having the beautiful image of you, with your legs spread, sweaty body, chest rising and falling. The way your eyelids were closed and your lips were open was more than enough to send a wave of electricity to his cock. Which, by the way, was already leaking pre-cum, the wet spot on his sweatpants was already clearly visible.

He wasted no time in removing his pants and underwear, letting his cock pop out. Which was a divine sign for you, seeing every inch of his shapely body, the way he was hard as a rock.

His cock resting in his palm, as he gave it a few small pumps, watching the precum drip down a little. Despite this, his eyes were focused on you, the way you bit your lip and stared at him.

"Please?" You ask in a whisper, spreading your legs even wider for him.

In response, he gives you a puffy smile, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit, his sticky liquid pooling with your own juices.

You whimper and pout to get him in at once. As if on command, he obeyed, lifting your legs over his shoulder and fitting himself into you. Hissing once he was all the way in, the way your walls clenched around him was enough to elicit a grunt from him.

"So fucking eager..." He whispers in your ear, taking the opportunity to nibble on it. Making you gasp easily.

"Oh-Oh, so deep!" You moan, your nails sinking into the muscles of his back, a reaction he loved every time.

You can't say how, but he thrust into you in such a sensual way, his hips rolling with a dexterity you couldn't even describe in words. It was calm, sexy, who knows how you could describe it.

His eyes never left yours, he could reach all your weak points, all the places where he made you roll your eyes and curl your toes.

At that point, he didn't even try to understand you. Not least because you could only mumble half-words, whimpers or moans, and he couldn't have been prouder to leave you in that state. Your mind so foolish as he fucked you numb.

"Are you going to come already, love?" He asks softly, kissing your cheeks and pulling you even closer.

"Mhmhm." You hum and nod, feeling your walls tighten around him. Just like the feeling of butterflies in your stomach that you were beginning to feel.

He chuckled, speeding up his thrusts, making an even louder sound of skin hitting skin. He wouldn't be long either, he'd probably come right after you.

And there you went the moment he started making circles with his thumb on your clit, you're sure you went to heaven at the same moment.

Your lips parted only for you to let out a silent scream, a noise that came from deep in your throat. He was quick to pull you into a hot, thirsty kiss, moving at a much faster speed than before.

He wanted to get there now.

In and out he went, feeling his cock throb with each jerk of his hips. On the last thrust he came, thrusting deep, spilling all his seed into you, as deep as he could.

He let out a grunt through your lips, holding your sides tightly.

By the end you were panting, covered in a thin layer of sweat. When the kiss ended, he rested his forehead on yours, giving a silly, tired smile.

"Sore?" He murmurs under his breath, trailing kisses down your cheek.

"Maybe a little." You whisper, closing your eyes and sinking into the mattress.

He then gets off you and places you properly on the bed, rolling you under the covers, and then doing the same. He hugs you from behind and cuddles you, giving you massages in the places he knew would be sore. He loved worshiping your body, and you couldn't complain.

"I love you." He says, full of love and tenderness.

"I love you too." You return, kissing his hand.

You fell asleep a few minutes later, and he watched you sleep as always, giving you kisses and caresses from time to time.

He loved you so much he couldn't explain it, you were his comfort. Everything he needed most. You and your son were his adored little family.

And the way he loved you, he knew that you would be the death of him.

Oh God, how he loves you.

[natalieironside]

For the ask game - 24. What’s something you do to de-stress? and 10. What’s something you’re excited for?

24. What's something you do to de-stress?

Been getting really into meditation these days. That's probably a wholly expected answer but like I've always been into hippie spirituality bullshit and I occasionally have pretensions of being some sort of occultist so I've always been "interested in" meditating but all attempts at keeping up a regular practice have met with failure; turns out keeping still and not thinking about stuff is bloody hard work. It seems to be working now, though? Been sleeping better than I have in years.

10. What's something you're excited for?

I've spent the past few months trying to remake the Into China scenario from the Genghis Khan campaign in Age of Kings into something that's, well, good. If I can be perfectly honest, the ES campaigns are for the most part bad and not good and haven't aged particularly well, and beating up on 4 random towns on that little-ass map never did scream "the largest and most advanced empire in the world" to me. Also Xi Xia is present and accounted for but there's another faction right next to them that's just called "Tangut." Who are these Tanguts and why are they different from the rest of Xi Xia? That's bothered me for like 20 years. But I digress.

It's almost done! And I'm v. excited to show it to people and let them play it and junk. I'll post some screenshots as soon as I remember to do so.

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @vsnotresponding

Who You Are:

V || They/she

Born and raised in a town in Catalonia, Spain. I always had an interest for stories and storytelling, and art in general, as well as math. I wrote my first book at 17 as my project to graduate high school. I'm currently majoring in math, translating said book, and plotting another one.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Fantasy, Paranormal, Sci-Fi, Tragedy. Young and New Adult

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

fantasy, mainly because i love worldbuilding and i often focus on religions or magic systems

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

i don't think i could ever write a purely romance book. my aroaceness makes it very hard for me to write romance in general.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

i'm not really sure. i write mostly for me. probably just soft fantasy readers? i think people that enjoy worldbuilding and lore might enjoy my stories too. i think anyone could get something out of my books. the setting is just an excuse to write about other things at the end of the day

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

grief and circular time appeal the most to me, also main characters struggling with mental health, feeling displaced and out of place. as for tropes, found family and people who dislike each other forced to work together. i don't know why grief comes up that much in my stories. i am obsessed with thinking about circular time, tho. and the mental health issues of my main characters is mostly projecting. as for the tropes, it's all about finding your people whom you feel like yourself with.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

i can deal with pretty much any trope as long as it's entertaining. certain styles of writing is what ultimately turn me off when reading.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

i'm currently translating and posting púlsar, i book i wrote when i was 17. i've been translating for three months, and posting for one. i'm also working on untitled project (that's the actual name for the wip), figuring out plot details and that kinda things. i've been doing that since 2019, when UP was born

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

i write because i am my own target audience, and because i want to tell my ocs' stories. that's what keeps me going too. i can't just be rid of them, they live rent free in my brain

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

since forever, i guess. i remember writing stories as a kid. i was also an avid reader, and a lonely only child that was left alone to their own devices too often, so i found ways to entertain myself

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

from my daily life, i guess. púlsar doesn't have that many sources of inspiration that i'm aware of, but UP has lots of influences from my philosophy classes from back in high school. in general, music helps a lot with how i approach my writing.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

some short stories i wrote in high school. they are all writing assignments, but i went so hard on them they are still one of the bests things i've ever written. also my answer to a question in my philosophy final, which i later turned into a short story. circular time, man, i told you

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

i haven't, but i'd like to. i just want to share my worlds and characters with other people

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

the sharing, but i also think it's very stressful

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

putting it all together. i love finding out how i've unintentionally set up scenes i hadn't even thought about, or how unimportant details turn vital when i add a new scene

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

oh boy. my writing process is a mess. it's mostly non linear, and i sit with my stories for a long long time before ever starting to write. i also pull from my drawings. sometimes i'll randomly draw one oc doing something completely arbitrary, and then see that it actually fits with the plot so why not add it. generally, i have a very rough direction of where i want to go, 2 or 3 key scenes i know for sure have to happen, then i put the characters in A Situation and let them take the reins from there. because i've sit with them for so long before actually writing, i'm confident enough in my knowledge of them so i never doubt where they are going, they just go. usually i plan ahead for two or three chapters, mostly a bullet point summary or an explanation of events for UP it's been way more complicated because of the nature of the story and its non linearity

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

i joined four months ago. i just wanted to share my work with other like minded people, and i'm honestly glad i did. i've met so many wonderful people in such a short amount of time, and the community is wonderful

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

i recently started following @mjjune. i simply fell in love with their now betaing twtr and their general vibes @moondust-bard has also created a bunch of writblr initiatives like a tag game list, and other ongoing projects and i have to mention @my-cursed-prince. she asked me a lot of questions about circular time, and then i checked out her wips and adopted her ocs on the spot

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

tag/asks games, and in general the community. i like sharing, sure, but it's also nice to be able to talk about worlbuilding and lore and how annoying ocs sometimes are with people that get it

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

huh, i'm not sure. more interaction with actual written stuff would be great, but everyone's busy with their lives outside of here so we can't ask of everyone to read everything that comes across their dashboards every day. it'd be great to have an easy to access place to check old and new writing without having to go to an individual blog every time, but that's also a time consuming project to manage

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

if i see someone asking for asks i always send one. i also try to be encouraging of others as much as i can. i do think i could be doing much more. for starters, i'd like to engage more with written content from other writblrs more, but i can't due to time constraints

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

anything that strikes my fancy. i enjoy posts about the writing process struggles people have, or little thoughts they have as they write or plot

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

i love rambling when someone asks me a question. and also posting púlsar

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

i have a half abandoned instagram art account with the same handle (vsnotresponding), and my main tumblr blog @iwrotemyowndeliverancesblog (i talk about maths and complain about life)

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin-r]

Please write more Jegulus *on knees* pleaaaasseee

On your knees for me? Interesting.

DAY 6 OF KINKTOBER

FROM the Quidditch pitch to the Dorm room

Gryffindor had a match with Hufflepuff that day and classes were halted as no one was paying attention whoever won this match would go on the play slytherin for the house cup. James Potter for one was ready to lead him team onto he pitch.

Gryffindor won 1650 to 1200 Slytherin.

The first to notice James's disappearances was Sirius.

"Ay, Where's the Golden boy at?" Remus shrugged, "Maybe he's off getting a breather, or flirting up lily,"

"Maybe," Sirius answer skeptical. Oh only if he looked up to see James and Regulus on a broom. To be honest Regulus has no idea how no one noticed, not even the teachers.

Even now as he had James beneath him,[view gif] he was still confused as to how they remained uncaught.

"Fuck James," James nipped at his throat again, loving the effect he had on Reggie, "Lower," like a good servant he followed.

"Stop," James stopped. Regulus shifted off of James. "Undress now," James removed his short and continued to his underwear bt Regulus stopped him. "No leave that one," James reached for his quidditch shirt but Regulus stopped him again. "Leave that one too, I've always wanted to fuck you in that," James just smirked.

"You next,"

"Tut tut, patience Potter," Regulus took out his want and with a flick James was tied to his bed, the doors were locked and curtains drawn.

Regulus crawled onto James but rested on his kegs instead. "Look how hard you are and i haven't even touched you yet. Regulus traced the outline of his cock through his briefs.

"Mine," he trailed kisses from James throat to his abdomen, then he continued from his V line down then back up.

All the while James strained against his restraints.

"Reggie," he whimpered. "Please"

Regulus chuckled and took out his cock, watching the precum slip through his fingers. "So wet for me James,"

Regulus leaned down and took James cock in his mouth, immeadiately he boy beneath him shuddered. He took long strokes from the base to the tip, agonisingly slow.

"Reggie," James said softly. "Fuck" all Regulus did was humm which made James' dick twitch, as the vibrations rolled through him.

Slowly Regulus built up the pace, causing James to rock his hips to the speed, then Regulus lifted him head stopping James from cumming, James whined at the lost of contact.

"Patience," regulus took of his shorts and slowly slid onto James' dick after muttering a few spells. "Spells would have to do, since I'd rather fell you raw,"

He began to ride James as he kissed him, deep and slow. "Remember Potter you are mine, Lily can't have you, only i can, I'm jealous Potter, and you're gonna fix that,"

James moaned in response.

Regulus slammed down on James over and over and over again, grunting as he did, James melwed with every slam.

Finally Regulus leaned over into James ear. "Cum for me," James exploded into white. Regulus slipped off James his own cock ready to burst.

He sat down and motioned for james to get on his lap. "Be a good boy f'me yeah," James nodded as he sheath himself on Regulus. Regulus looked up and swore you could see his name sake star above him.

"Fuck," Spell that had been chaining james to the bed broke. James ride Regulus, till they were both seeing stars. Regulus came filling James up entirely.

After a moment Regulus reached for his want and with a flick, James was back in his kit. Regukus too was properly dressed. "Do you know what you're gonna do right now Potter," James just shook his head, his legs weak from their activities.

Regulus chuckled. "You are going to go back downstairs and you are going to talk laugh and drink with everybody with my cum dripping down your legs." Regulus grabbed James hand and they walked to the door leading the the Great Hall.

"I'll be watching," Before he left the sit with Barty. All James could do was smile at Sirius hoping his dick would go down.

😀

[penroseparticle]

Hiiieeeeeeee. I heard you like v-games.

3. Favorite boss?

15. Hardest game you’ve ever played?

19. A game that you wish you could play for the first time again.

25. Favorite environment in a game?

40. Best game cover art.

I went back in my inbox and there are some asks I haven't answered, clearing things out. So throwback meme!

3. Favorite Boss:

I'm partial to Facade from Link's Awakening. I think he's simple, he's memorable. He comes at a part of the game where you learn a very big revelation. The music for The Face Shrine is stunning, and really does something interesting considering the Ballad of the Wind Fish isn't a part of the song despite being part of the other dungeons' music. I like that Facade isn't an enemy you can fight with a sword. I like that his name means edifice, and he's the floor aka part of the building, but also mask, and he's a face. I like that he comes when you have to decide between dream or reality.

Can you tell I did a Zelda deep dive a bit ago?

15. Hardest Game You've Ever Played?

This is a tough and interesting question- what's a hard game, after all. Do I play hard games? I don't know if that's something I do. I like fiddly or intricate games. But I'm not sure I play hard games- I get frustrated easily. I guess I do play hard games, but they have to onboard you really really well. You have to feel like it's hard but achievable right? Like you're struggling but you could succeed.

I might say Desktop Dungeons. Simple concept, really intricate execution, technically not hard at all, but the Tower of Ga'antalet is still not cleared on Vicious on my save file, and I followed that game from Alpha to Beta to release to Rerelease with better graphics. My account is like a decade old. Maybe I'm dumb. Or maybe I just need to drill in and practice, because I've cleared almost everything else.

19. A game that you wish you could play for the first time again.

Final Fantasy Tactics. It's my first major game. Introduced my love of turn based strategy. Great story, rich execution. Broken as hell and glitchy, but in a fun way. Tons of side content but plenty of room to be expanded. I wish I could go through it the first time all over again, not knowing what was next, what was important, how to play correctly. The struggle was fun. I remember getting creamed on Dorter Trade City, like every new player. I remember thinking the Desert Map was crazy. I remember not playing the game for like 3 weeks when I got to the rooftop with Rafa because it was IMPOSSIBLE (Ok maybe some bits of the game aren't that great. Fix Rafa's AI so that's not a roulette ok thx).

Favorite Game. Excellent content. Gonna play it again right now probably.

25. Favorite Environment in a Game?

God I really, REALLY like the setting in FFXII, but particularly I like the Rainy Season Giza Plains. I just have such fond memories of that area, and the Wild Hunts are fun. It's early, it's accessible, its somehow new and exciting because it introduced weather as something that you have to care about. I like Phon Coast too but it's a bit too sparkly, and I also like the Salikawoods too. Just a great game for environments imo.

40. Best Game Cover Art

Ask me this in 5 minutes and my answer will change. I think it would be really funny to say Triangle Strategy (Hello most generic cover art and name of all time. Great game, but TERRIBLE marketing). I think today I'm going to go with Celeste- because it's nostalgic for me. It's cute.

[seravphs]

hello sera! this is my v late sleepover/afterparty ask!!! i have lots of questions for you and you can choose to answer any, all, or even none of them really!! 1) what aspect of writing do you enjoy the most? (characters/thoughts, dialogues, plot, etc.), 2) who/what are some of your favourite writers/fics atm, 3) what's something someone's told you about your writing that's stuck with you to this day? hope you have/had a great today <3 congrats on knight!gojo again!! i am so proud of u <3

1. I don’t think I enjoy any aspect of writing the most! For me, I like particular scenes more than others but it varies from fic to fic. I used to have a hard time with plot, but these days I think I struggle more with dialogue and scenery.

2. I've been giving the same names over and over when asked about fics because I haven't had the time to go through my tbr so instead of talking about what I've read, I'm going to talk about what's next that I'm excited to get to. @/hyomagiri's My Only One got me on the premise of Gojo being corny. Of course, excited to read @/shotorus conversations on love series cause I love a good slowburn and the visuals of the masterlist really drew me in. @/willowser has a fic about Gojo and physics and college that I'm really excited to read.

3. This one is so hard 😭 I’ve gotten so many great comments. Off the top of my head, Xin saying that Cruel Summer is her bedtime story and professor carpe-yeet-em telling me that Nightlight reminded her of transformative women’s work in mythology. Not a comment but the fact that Jen drew art for Knight Gojo made me hysterical.

Thank you so much! You truly have been so so kind to me over the course of writing this fic and forget a compliment that’s stuck with me, I’m going to remember your endless support for knight Gojo forever :) ily! I hope you have an incredible day as you deserve

[pengosolvent]

Hey pengo! I just wanna say that really enjoy your music so much, Your style is really unique! And i also enjoy your art so much as well! Quick question, what’s your favorite piece of music you’ve made and what’s your favorite piece of art you’ve made? I hope you’re doing well pengo! And you should also remember that tons of people like you and are inspired by you, including me :)

thank you for enjoying my work i'm not sure how to answer either of these favorite music... i'm not sure how to judge this based on how it sounds to me? how much i listen to it? the concept? if i had fun or otherwise positive feelings while making it? based on a feeling that its a song that wouldn't get made fun of? i guess it's hard to really think about this and what it means to me i'm very disconnected from music currently it's hard for me to work on music well there's a song I haven't released yet called "Permanence as a faulty premise" (currently)... i like that one because i like the feeling in it and the lyrics I like these two too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDjwOQHcGvs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLjdw9UFMIU it feels hard to connect to my older work i can feel them sometimes other times, they feel like holes where feelings used to be favorite piece of art i've made... i'm uncertain how to categorize that even more... i don't think i currently have a strong connection to my art as my own, currently, so i don't think i can answer that

I do have a question, but I worry that the question is a strange one or will come off as ungrateful you said "And you should also remember that tons of people like you and are inspired by you, including me" But what do you mean by "should"? "should" in relation to what?

[eldritchsurveys]

1267.

Is it currently raining where you are? >> It is not, but it will probably start snowing again within the next couple of hours.

What’s something that you have been wanting to say to someone? .

What’s your favorite thing to do at the end of the day? >> Get in my night clothes, get cozy under the blankets, and watch some TikToks or look at my Tumblr dashboard.

When did you last use a lighter or matches? >> I last used a lighter to light incense. Don't remember exactly when that was; sometime in the last 72 hours.

Do you or anyone you know have covid or the flu? >> Not that I'm aware of.

Do you have a hard time letting things go? >> I am prone to rumination, but not so much to holding grudges. Really, the only times I've experienced what might be considered grudge-holding was more just projection -- I was mostly still angry at myself for not protecting myself from whatever the other person did, despite knowing better. What did you last have to eat? >> Apple pie with vanilla bean ice cream. Arnie's gets so much praise but honestly? That was an aggressively mid pie, at best. :V

Are you allergic to anything that is unusual? >> I am not allergic to anything, to my knowledge. When did you last feel fear? >> The last time I had one of my health/death anxiety episodes. What did you last drop? >> I don't remember.

Have you ever been to a Halloween themed amusement park? >> I have not.

What’s something about your health that you would like to change? .

When did you last look in the mirror? >> While I was brushing my teeth. Was checking out my figure in the full-length, lmao.

What color is your favorite shirt? >> Like 98% of my shirts are black, so if I were to have a favourite, the likelihood is very high that it would be black.

What last made you smile? >> Answering the question above the last one, because I was thinking about how actually it was Can Calah who was checking out my figure in the full-length 🤦🏿😂

Have you ever walked through a sunflower field? >> I have not and I desperately need to.

How often do you listen to music? >> At least once a day, I'd say.

Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? >> I am not at all a fan of Taylor Swift. Sparrow is the Swiftie in this house, I hear about Eras Tour and shit all the time, but despite having heard at least 20 of her songs at this point (got cornered during a car trip, lol), I still don't get the hype. Glad they're having fun, though.

Would you be happy if you got a lifetime supply of the last thing you purchased? >> We just got groceries, so I don't know which one of those items is "last". A lifetime supply of groceries in general would be fucking incredible, though. What’s something great that has happened to you recently? >> I haven't had anything great happen to me lately. I mean, aside from The Event™, but that's in a class of its own.

How old were you when you had your first best friend? .

Do you believe that anything is infinite? >> I mean, sure, why not. I'm infinite 🖤

What did you last order from a fast food restaurant? >> I think it was a McChicken and a small fry.

How often do you have to purchase shampoo and conditioner? >> Only shampoo and rather infrequently. Perks of having a buzzcut.

What was the last pain you’ve had on your body? >> I pulled a muscle in my back a few days ago because of that stupid foot bath.

Is there anything currently bothering you? >> I'm chillier than I'd like to be. Which will be the daily story of my life from now until May </3 Would you ever paint your bedroom bright blue? >> I would not. A muted or pastel blue, though, sure.

What’s your favorite way to eat rice? >> Oh, man. I just love rice, tbh. But the two ways I eat it the most are in "fried" rice (it's made in the rice cooker but it's the same concept) and coconut rice.

Do you currently have a window open? >> Absolutely not. It's hard enough to keep any sort of warmth in this house during the cold months without opening windows and just letting the cold in. (Trust me, I hate it. I hate not having any sort of air circulation happening in my room or the house at large for half of the year. I am not made for this shit.) What kind of jacket do you like wearing most? >> I don't know, I just wear whatever's available. It's been a long time since I had a coat or jacket I actually actively loved.

Do you own a sherpa blanket? >> I do not. I probably should.

Are you currently wearing something green? >> I am not.

Have you recently lost something? >> I have not.

What’s something that has really impacted your life? .

What scents can you currently smell? >> Nothing I can really pick out.

What did you last have as a snack? >> I guess apple pie is a kind of snack.

Are you currently listening to music? >> I am not.

Would you say you’re a strong person? >> I think that's a fair assessment to make, even if I don't always feel that way. Physically, on the other hand... I think I'm a bit below-average in the physical strength department.

What’s something you miss from the past? >> I miss being Grey. But I also don't, not really. I just have the flawed belief that Grey had things easier than I do.

When did you last rush for something? >> I don't remember. I prefer not to rush for anything.

Do you require a lot of personal space or do you enjoy being around people often? >> I require lots of personal space, which enables me to enjoy the social events I do choose to attend.

Have you drank enough water today? >> Probably not, but that's not something I've ever been able to tackle with any consistency.

Do you like lima beans? >> I don't know, honestly. Just the other day I was thinking about how I never hear about lima beans anymore (I was specifically thinking about it in the context of succotash, which I remember having quite often as a child, but I haven't heard or seen it anywhere in my adult life).

What was the last lie you told? .

What did you last plug into an outlet? >> Probably my laptop charger, which comes unplugged often.

Do you have anything due soon? .

How many bottles do you see from where you’re sitting? >> Like, a lot. I can see my vanity from where I am, and there's quite a few product bottles up there.

What was the last thing you took a picture of? >> That stupid ass turkey trophy I won at Thanksgiving at Sparrow's parents' house, so I could post it in Jack's Discord server.

[estrogenboyfriend]

some questions i won't answer yet

expand read more to find out the answers:

19

masc enby femboy (he/him/any)

around 5'6? i don't remember

murica

i don't know or care

you can figure it out from my UID in genshin screenshots if you want

for now i'll only say english

turquoise

rice with soy sauce

idk currently

(possibly) coding OR playing video games

idk, i listen to obscure japanese stuff

don't have one currently

i can't choose

i don't have a favorite movie cuz i don't watch movies anymore

GENSHIN IMPACT!!!! it has become my new hyperfixation

i don't watch TV shows anymore either. but there are a few i wanna watch including toilet bound hanako kun which I have watched a bit of, and hazbin hotel which i've only seen the pilot of

i'm not into sports

same as favorite activity

my favorite article of clothing are DEFINITELY my pink femboy shorts. they are SOOOOOOO COMFYYYYYYY and cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love wearing them so muchhh

pansexual demiromantic with a VERY strong preference for guys

single (& recently broken up too) 😢

never had one

any guy(optional) who is bonded with me (i.e. i am hyper attached to them) and also sexually compatible with me (i.e. it's possible for me to adapt to what satisfies them)

any irl meetup with someone from whom i don't have to hide my identity

online: probably. irl: no

satisfying someone else, being appreciated (mostly just people liking/complimenting my body), and praise (call me a good boy PLEASE)

excessive misgendering, "sissy" stuff (please don't EVER call me that🤢), nipple/genital piercings (sorry), excessive bondage, strain on the genitals (done by certain contraptions i've seen and it looks super disturbing), catheters, and any phobia that i have (needles and sharp objects near "veiny" areas, insects, excessive gore, etc). a lot of those are not just turn offs, but also triggers

not rn, no

not that i'm aware of

not yet

around 5? maybe more...

only reddit, discord, and tumblr

u/xhydrochaeris, xhydrochaeris (i don't accept friend requests unless i know you), and @estrogenboyfriend

no, i don't like NSFW subreddits/pages and don't really find them appealing

discord > tumblr > reddit (????)

none lol, i'm a fucking lonely ass nobody everywhere

yes, all of them

uhm i don't know? probably very little compared to average for the actual functions of social media, but a LOT to communicate with others

idk lol probably some 冰淇淋 shit that i got obsessed with ages ago

black/very dark brown

black/very dark brown

no i don't, I'm pretty enough without makeup

uhm medium for a girl, long for a boy. i am a boy but girl standards apply more to me since i present femininely

kinda fat but fem (i am working on my body, eating disorder fucked me up tho)

extremely messy, naturally curly, so it just is a constant mess

usually a t-shirt, hoodie/sweater, and sweatpants.

no

no

online: yes, if you mean me with a boy. but it doesn't really happen anymore....

idk i forgot (memories are not sorted and i'm not gonna bother sorting them)

idk i ACTUALLY forgot, like forgetting on demand which is apparently something that i can do if i try hard enough...

no bruh eww lung cancer

nope

no

does pirating music and video games count? oh and also hacking(homebrewing) my new nintendo 2DS XL

uh probably not, im a good kid

YES... A LOT. i have sleep issues.....

anything that has been within 0.5m of an onion/garlic. those fuckers are NASTY, they smell horrible, taste horrible, and their smell and taste LINGERS in your fucking mouth for DAYS.... YYYYYUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes

not sure if i've met any famous people

i kinda forgot ... i have a bunch of japanese CDs/records that i like but those haven't seen the light of day ever since I got burnout months ago

baizhu in genshin impact because i WHALED for him 😢 I was so desperate but hey at least i got him now :3

GTA V on epic games cuz it was on sale

probably my phone or laptop or smth idk

my homebrewed new nintendo 2DS XL which is so fucking cool because nintendo wants it to die but i am keeping it alive against their will and i really need to start playing with it again.

奥村チヨ - 恋の奴隷 / 眠くなるまで (vinyl 7" single, jun 1 1969) https://www.discogs.com/release/3249405-%E5%A5%A5%E6%9D%91%E3%83%81%E3%83%A8-Chiyo-Okumura-%E6%81%8B%E3%81%AE%E5%A5%B4%E9%9A%B7-%E7%9C%A0%E3%81%8F%E3%81%AA%E3%82%8B%E3%81%BE%E3%81%A7

i mean, the sega genesis model 1 that i have qualifies as futuristic, doesn't it? in fact i think it's way more futuristic that a LOT of stuff that have come out recently. being "futuristic" isn't about features, it's about aesthetic, and those designers in 1989 LARPed futurism WAY better than whoever the fuck is in charge of the capitalist machine nowadays

idk, check my weird shit drawer. i once had a massive dick-shaped crumpled up paper object but i think it's been recycled now.

phone and laptop. couldn't even do basic shit without them.

i said this before, my favorite article of clothing are DEFINITELY my pink femboy shorts. they are SOOOOOOO COMFYYYYYYY and cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love wearing them so muchhh

my hard drive. don't worry, there's nothing sussy on there, just 8+ TB of illegally downloaded music

money

some clothes for men just sitting in my closet... they disturb me so much and i fucking hate them

yes

BOTH. i place equal value on both yellow and purple. on light backgrounds, it's purple, on dark backgrounds, it's yellow.

i don't like either, but i dislike taylor swift a TINY bit less

neither, the nerds can fight over this without me

sour. i have terrible spice tolerance

i guess i'd prefer cold cuz i could cover up more. hot weather would require me to show off my body even when i'm under the most dysphoria...

this kinda contradicts the last question, but summer because more free time

i am masculine in a feminine way 💙

video games

PC, but for proprietary media, nintendo

uhm i really don't know honestly

idk...but i have a pet dog

whichever has the least rules and strategizing involved. i am NOT gonna spend thousands of spoons on a game i have to learn for months and years before i can even enjoy it slightly

....what?

.......what??

...don't know

neither

lemon juice probably

if i'm in the US, neither. if i'm in europe, then mcdonalds (there is a MASSIVE difference because of capitalism which makes sure that all murican fast food and processed foods SUCK ASS and are filled with unhealthy AND un-tasty junk, and the government can't do shit to regulate the hypergigacorporations that are doing this bullshit)

uhhh depends on my mood really. maybe horror?

MAYBE alternative rock, idk..... it's hard to pick

not gonna lie, lotr is IMPOSSIBLE for me to get into and it takes 50 million spoons, but i won't pick harry potter any time soon because jk rowling is a prick, so if i'm FORCED to, it's gonna be lotr. FYI i don't enjoy any nerd media at all due to the sheer amount of effort it takes to get into them and keep up with them. it's like i'm almost completely incompatibility with them

again, i don't fucking know.

i don't want either, please leave me alone

invisibility.

i haven't listened to either so i don't know

soccer, because i don't understand baseball at all, and i kiiiinda understand soccer very little

yep a pet dog

question 33

i'm about to go to university

a B in a particularly shitty class (the professor was a prick)

As in literally all except 1 class

most programming classes

no

no

i am ABOUT to start working out. not at a gym tho, just gonna do some workouts at home and see how it goes.

probably not

maybe? idk?

[6okuto]

Your writing of Vere with a shy reader that actually enjoys his teasing changed my brain chemistry in the best way possible. Not sure if you're taking requests rn but could you do the same for Ais if possible? 👉👈 Those two are the most annoying mfs in the game (I say this with love) and I would like to see how you write this bastard in particular in the same scenario if you haven't already

AIS WITH AN EASILY FLUSTERED READER

gn!reader | i could Nawt remember what post ur referencing but I FOUND IT! i think. and nobody told me there was typos. Ok. /nm /embarrassed. I'M HONOURED TO HAVE THAT EFFECT! (^_^)v

ais tests the waters. he likes teasing(/flirting with) you, but he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. it starts with a nonchalant compliment and tilted head, a smirk and analyzing eyes.

it isn't hard for him to figure out—in fact he finds out so easily you think it's almost embarrassing. he thinks that you need to work on your poker face, or just pushes his teasing further and asks "you have a crush on me or something?" he laughs a little when you turn your head and refuse to answer.

ais's approach can be like...he Teases the teasing. i don't want to say edges it but well. now i've said it haven't i. he loves messing with you.

like, he won't just put his arm around you, he stands close enough that his arm occasionally brushes against yours, and you're disappointed when he finally moves away

he'll ask something that could be taken as flirtatious, but as soon as you're stuttering, he feigns innocence and pretends like he doesn't know what he's doing. "what did you think i meant? get your mind out of the gutter."

ais will lean against your door frame, arms crossed as he watches you. then he shoots you a cute little smile and wave when you look up. he asks what you're doing and leans over your shoulder, and his voice is so close to your ear that you really have to focus on explaining and not the way he's looking at you in your peripheral vision.

eventually, and especially if you manage to verbalize that you like it or show him somehow, ais gets.. normal about his affection. LOL. his arm wraps around you, he'll shamelessly flirt, maybe offer for you to stay the night (a half-joke.) he'll still snort or softly laugh at your reaction sometimes before moving on though

and if you Tease Back? caught off guard. but also,, it's not weird to says he's really attracted to you right now, is it?

vere's was on the shorter side so i didn't want to show favoritism by making ais's much longer :pensive: :broken_heart:

my new tag list form if u'd like to be tagged ^__^

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP,

I hope you are having a wonderful week. I am so glad to see you back. I was really sad when you left..I love reading your material. I have been thinking about this a lot and I was hoping you could help me understand this better.

Ever since I have come to BTS fandom, I have noticed that Jimin seems to have a lot of GP recognition. In fact, I knew of Jimin even before I knew of BTS. What amazed me more recently is when I mentioned BTS to my white friend and her first response was don't tell me Jimin is your bias. I was shocked and asked her why she thought that or how she knew of him. She very casually said that everyone biases him. Do you think there is such recognition for him? When you ask some Army, their answer is his name is the easier to remember whereas I would say V or even Jin are even easier to remember. I always wonder what's makes Jimin stand out to causal viewers? I am sure you have spoken about it but would love to hear your thought..

**

Hi Anon,

Side-stepping the mention of how the fandom treats Jimin, the question is: what makes Jimin stand out to casual viewers? I've talked about this a bit in my posts on Jimin, because what you're a asking is often implied in those questions. You can read my Jimin posts by searching my blog for "jimin only" (search bar at bottom of the page if you're on Web), or take a look at the third post in my pinned Masterlist.

Jimin stands out because nearly everything about him is unusual, even within k-pop, but especially for people unfamiliar with k-pop. And on top of that, he excels in the three main qualities of an idol: Visuals, Vocals, and Dance.

Visuals: He has androgenous features which is unusual for (most Western and some Asian) men, and he's also just drop dead gorgeous.

Jimin is someone that everybody notices at least once.

Vocals: Jimin has the best vocal tone I've heard in k-pop. His voice gets my nipples hard. I know and like Haechan, Jungkook's vocals are incredible, and I see and hear Baekhyun, but Jimin is god tier. His voice is naturally higher pitched and his tone is peculiar too - a bit throaty and raspy. His lower register does unspeakable things to me. It's crack, very pun intended because that's the point. Like Taka's, and Tyler Joseph's, and Mitch's (from Pentatonix) + magic and something distinctly Jimin, all combined.

Dance: Some of Jimin's mannerisms are also quite delicate and contrast with the stereotypes applied to many men, especially if viewed from a Western lens. But when he gets up on stage... the strength in his movements can cause Namjoon, Hobi, and Jin to look like this:

*

Jimin in IDOL is one reason he outshined BTS in 2018. Because that did happen, for a brief period, in my opinion at least. In IDOL, his voice stands out above the rest, the final chorus and crescendo of the song is the part he leads, and that kick he does is always flawless. People noticed. People talked. And many of those people haven't forgetten and are still around.

[ The things that stand out to casual viewers will typically be more surface-level and physical, than the things people who closely watch him/BTS might notice - Jimin stands out regardless, but I want to acknowledge that the reasons why are more straightforward for casual fans though there's a fair bit of overlap in either case. ]

These are my reasons for why Jimin stands out. Other ARMYs have their opinions, but this is mine.

[weepinglevi]

patience is a virtue

summary: college!au. all aged up. eren and reader continue with their sexual escapades. find part one here! warnings: 18+ minors dni. dirty text messages, dirty talk. dom!eren and bratty reader (i suppose?). throat fucking and semi-public sex. (no p in v tho) word count: around 3.5k A/N: i have a love/hate relationship with this eren ahaha, he's been ruling my brainrot ever since the last part so i hope you enjoy! there will be a part three eventually, so be on the lookout for that! enjoy your read and feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

you awake to your phone vibrating somewhere next to you. the hope of it only being a one-time occurrence quickly proven to be false as it just wouldn't stop. brr-brr. a second of silence. brr-brr. pause. brr-brr.

taking a mental note to never go to sleep again without turning off your phone, you roll over to your other side and try to ignore it. you could simply answer the texts, but that meant you'd have to open your eyes. and that whoever was texting you would win this weird battle you've just come up with in your head.

"if you don't pick up your goddamn phone, i'll smack you over the head with it," sasha groans from the other side of your shared dorm, words coming slurry with her tiredness.

brr-brr.

"i could also stick it up your ass, your decision," a pillow comes flying to your head, serving as enough of a warning for you to sit up in your bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"quit moaning, i'll turn it off now," you yawn, feeling around your bed for your phone, "you never hear me complaining about the shit you do in the middle of the night."

"that's because my shit is funny and not fucking annoying," she scoffs, followed by a muted thump as she is sinking back down into her pillows. sasha's way of ending the conversation.

you find your phone half-tucked underneath your pillow, the display already lighting up again. someone is desperate for attention, you think to yourself and unlock your phone with an annoyed sigh. the messages were coming from an unknown number.

thinking about your wet pussy. this is eren, btw. historia gave me your number. i told her you wouldn't mind you don't mind, do you?

in a matter of seconds, your heart is beating in your throat once more, just like this afternoon in that godforsaken computer lab. ears growing hot at his words, you could almost imagine the sound of him laughing at you again. with trembling fingers, you scroll down further.

anyway, let's do it again sometime i told you. i'll never let you forget about how you moaned my name i'm also not forgetting about how badly i want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours, so it's a win-win see ya, then

staring down at your phone, you don't know if you should answer him. and even if you would answer his texts, what the hell should you say? "fucking bastard," the words escaping your mouth before even realizing that you'd better keep quiet. the only thing that could make this situation any worse was if sasha were to wake up again.

scratch that, you think as you see eren's new messages.

how badly do you want to suck my cock? you looked really hot today, covered in my cum what, you're shy again?

there are two ways this could go: either you stand up, put on some clothes, and then go to eren's dorm to let hell rain upon him - or simply mute your phone and ignore him. deciding to go with the latter, you lie back down and save his number as "fuckhead", a small grin forming on your face. if he wants to be childish, then you can be, too.

the display still lighting up at a steady pace, you have to fight the urge to open his other messages. to physically prevent yourself from grabbing your phone again, you put your hands between your thighs and sigh. what the hell have i gotten myself into?

"so, who am i gonna have to teach some manners today?", sasha asks in the morning, "because there are only two valid reasons for sending that many texts in the middle of the night," she sits up in her bed and bends over to reach for her phone, "either someone's dead or there's a food sale."

cringing at the thought of having to read the countless other messages eren has sent throughout the night, you try to laugh at her comment, "of course, when there's food involved, you're all for it."

"girl's gotta eat," she claims, thankfully being too distracted by something on her phone to notice your strange behavior, "i'm gonna be back later than usual today, connie wants me to be his wingman again."

starting to go off on a tangent about how connie should just get a dating app already, sasha's words become more of background noise to you. you want to know what he wrote. what he has in store for you. at the same time, you curse yourself out. you're turning into a headless chicken and all of it because of eren fucking yeager?

you nod here and there, offering her a "yes" at what you believe to be fitting moments, desperately hoping she doesn't catch up on your restlessness. all the while the two of you are getting ready for the day. this goes on for a few more minutes and you have no clue what she's talking about now, so you decide to grab your phone and stand up.

"i'm gonna go for a run around campus, you want coffee?" you blurt out, interrupting her monologue. the device in your hand feels as if it's burning through your skin. slipping into your trainers, you're already halfway out the room, her perplexed "uh- yes, please," being muffled by the door closing behind you.

it's still warm outside - not as hot as yesterday, but warm enough for you to be glad to have forgotten your cardigan earlier. you let out a deep breath, trying to clear your mind. even though you told sasha you'd be out for a run, you walk at a slow pace.

some people are already wandering around campus, most of them on their way to a lecture. at this time in the morning, everyone has their heads full with their own worries so no one notices you slowly making your way off-campus.

arriving at a little park surrounded by trees, you sit down on the bench farest off. you notice your heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird when pulling the phone out of your back pocket. fuck him, you think once again while typing in your code. fuck him for making me feel this way.

12 unread messages.

didn't seem all too shy when i had my hand wrapped around your throat no need to play hard to get when i already had you if that makes sense? haven't fucked you yet doesn't mean i won't get to fuck you

all you want is to feel appalled by these messages. to screenshot them and send them to the dean. maybe even to his mother. sickened with yourself though, you already feel the familiar warmth creeping up your body, curling up in your abdomen.

i know you want it, too how fucking needy you were for me getting yourself off in public to the thought of me maybe you can tell me what exactly you were thinking of? gonna make sure to let your dreams come true, princess

pet names? you clench your fist at the thought of eren leaning over you, breathing the word princess into your ear. you have an inkling that he'd say it mockingly; spitting it out whilst gathering your hair in a ponytail, arching your back forcefully, and slamming his length into you without mercy.

no. you hate pet names. at least, you've always hated them.

i'm gonna find out if you're ignoring me right now remember, you're not the best actress. fucking suck at it, actually wouldn't want to be punished now, would we?

his last message echoed in your head. still coming to terms with the fact of what happened yesterday, now you have to deal with a whole new revelation: eren yeager being a cocky motherfucker pushing all the right buttons for you. even though you want to blast his ass for this, the mere thought of him being near you again is too sweet of an imagination.

you want to play this game, too. for whatever reason keep on riding this high, and you just know that no one could do it quite as well as eren can. somehow you can only imagine taking him on this ride with you, no one else.

so, in that manner you decide to ignore his messages. if he's desperate enough to keep on sending them in the middle of the night, you're sure it won't be long until he sends another text. and it would give him enough reason to try and punish you, whatever that might entail – you're excited to find out. fucking nervous, too. but then again, who wouldn't be?

you stand up and put your phone in your back pocket, a sense of excitement surrounding your steps as you turn left to make your way to the nearest coffee shop.

"something tells me you're ignoring me," of course, the moment eren's voice comes up behind you, you fucking flinch like a little bird that's been scared away, "mostly because i've seen you reading the messages, but what do i know?"

you turn to see him clutching his heart dramatically, "don't play with my feelings like this," he swoons, bringing one hand to his forehead. he's laughing again, all white teeth and bright smiles – you realize this is the kind of eren you rarely get to see. not the cocky bastard he normally portrays; right now, he seems to be a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, just enjoying himself. still, you want to show him that you can play just as well as he can.

crossing your arms in front of your chest, you slightly raise a brow, trying your hardest to not look as nervous as you feel. it's a lost cause though because you can already feel the tips of your ears glowing with heat again. can't things go my way for once? just once? you think and chew the inside of your cheek. you felt so sure of yourself just moments ago. how the hell can he have this sort of effect on you?

suddenly, his whole demeanor changes. before, he seemed laid-back, entertained by the game he played with you. now he leans forward, hands in the pockets of his jacket and an almost cruel smile forming on his lips, "don't try to challenge me in this. you'll lose."

you know that you should feel frightened. terrified, even. he's looking like a lion preparing to jump the antelope, a sense of alarming calmness around him that's causing the small hairs on your neck to stand up. but alas, the way he's looking at you seems to have the same effect on you his scent has.

"i told you not to ignore me," eren says and takes a few steps closer to you, "yet here you are, doing it again." the chuckle leaving his lips a stark contrast to his stern gaze, still trained on you. somehow, you feel awfully small again - still not frightened, though. you stare right back at him, tilting your head slightly as if you wanted to say "so what?"

"are you seriously that desperate to be punished?"

better now than never, you think and once again place a courtly smile on your lips, "seems like it."

for a split second, you see eren's smug look turn into a genuine smile. realizing that you're up for his game, he lets out a smooth whistle, "you do surprise me."

"if you wouldn't always be so full of yourself, i'm sure you'd have recognized this sooner," you can feel the confidence growing in yourself again. clinging on to it, you take a step toward him, "i'm full of surprises."

"oh, yeah? i bet you are," from the corner of your eye, you can see him lifting his hand. before thinking twice about it, you bat it away, "i'm not one for public displays of affection."

oh, it is on– eren's smirk turns into a full-fledged grin as he takes a grip of your wrist, "you sure about that?" lifting your hand to his face, for a short moment you think he's going to suck on your fingers again. but all he does is place a faint kiss on the back of your hand, "didn't seem like it yesterday."

"you weren't supposed to see."

"but i'm so glad i did," he leans forward, the two of you standing so close you can feel his breath on your face, "or else we wouldn't have this kind of fun right now."

still having a hold of your hand, he lifts his other to your jaw, gently tracing his thumb across your lower lip, "you looked so pretty in your skirt yesterday."

taking a leap of faith, you grab his hand, holding it in place and letting your tongue run across the tip of his thumb before biting down playfully. there's a hiss and then eren pulls away and grabs your arm, "come with me."

finally, you think and let him guide you to wherever he wants, let's have some fun, then.

on your way out of the park, you pass jean and marco. even though they stand to greet eren, he just raises his hand whilst not breaking his pace, "gotta go, have an assignment to work on."

"never seen you that determined, but go off," jean laughs.

before you know it, you're inside one of the countless maintenance sheds. pushing you against the wall, eren's movements seem to become more and more erratic by the second. pinning your arms over your head, he's looking down at you, breathing heavily. "you have no idea what you just got yourself into," licking his lips, he chuckles.

"oh, but i think i actually do," you smile innocently, fucking glad to have found your normal self again. admittedly, eren threw you off your game since yesterday – but it's just going to play into your hands now. he won't see it coming until it's hitting him straight in the face; that you're just as messed up as he seems to be.

"then prove it," he breathes against your ear, "tell me how badly you want it."

the stuffy air inside the dimly lit shed doesn't help with keeping eren's scent away from you. being so close to him, looking up into his shadowed face and right into his dilated eyes; you're like putty in his hands. you try to move forward, to touch him in some way because you just know that he'll feel so good under your skin.

"now now, princess," he moves even closer, wedging you between himself and the wall, "how about we learn some patience, first?"

you nod, but then grind up against his thigh, hissing through your teeth, "i worry i'll be a real handful." you know you could very well move your hands, too – eren seems to still be testing the waters as to how far he can go with you. but with him actually letting you grind on him; you decide to play into his hands.

your breaths grow quicker as you keep on, pace becoming erratic. all you want is to get rid of your track pants – come to think of it, what you actually want is eren under you whilst you continuously bounce on his cock. you want to hear him call you princess and immediately after call you his little whore because that's exactly what you are.

eren has a little smile on his lips and you know you should ask yourself why – because you're doing exactly what he has forbidden you to do – but you're too far gone. the heat growing, you feel your knees buckle but he's holding you up; one hand now resting on your waist for support. you're so close –

and then he pulls away from you, nearly causing you to topple over. chest heaving, you place your hands on your knees for balance, "what the fuck was – "

"patience is a virtue," interrupting you with a laugh, but his voice heavy with lust, "thought i might give you a lesson you're ought to remember."

you look up to see eren palming his erection through his pants, standing about an arm's length away from you, "but i have to admit, hearing you getting yourself off is fucking hot."

biting your teeth together, you straighten up and take a step toward him – only for him to click his tongue in disapproval, "you're gonna stay right there," tugging at his pants he raises his eyebrow, "i told you what i want, get on your knees for me."

"the fuck i will," you spit out and make a move again, grasping for his waistband. but eren is quick to take a hold of your hand and pushes you back to the wall, "come on, now, princess," he chuckles but his eyes are concentrated at you, "you want this, don't you?". he's asking for permission, the thought feeling very comforting to you. and also, very excited for what's about to come.

"of course, i do," you answer him earnestly, resting the back of your head against the wall, "or else i wouldn't be here."

"fantastic," he breathes, a little smile playing in the corners of his mouth, "then get down on your knees," placing his hands on your shoulders, weighing you down, "i won't ask again."

the change of tone in his voice has you nodding, slowly sinking onto your knees, you're bursting in anticipation. one hand finally pulling down his pants, he runs his other through your hair, then down your jaw until it comes to rest on your chin.

thumbing at your lower lip, he groans "do i have to be careful?"

you just shake your head no. then you break away from his gaze, fixing your eyes on the bobbing cock in front of you. it's tip leaking with precum already, you remember how badly you wanted to lick it away yesterday.

taking his cock at its base, you bend forward and slide your tongue around its head. the salty taste sending shudders down your spine, you make sure to lift your eyes again once you prepare to take it all down your throat. your other hand snakes up to his balls, slightly tugging them which earns you a moan from eren, and fuck, you're so wet at the sound alone, you let go of his cock and slide one hand down to your own center.

he gathers your hair in one hand, taking the base of his throbbing cock in the other, "bet this is what you thought of yesterday," he slowly but surely pulls your head in closer, "of how i fuck the words right out of you."

bucking your hips into your own hand, you can do nothing but whimper at his words. because yes, this is exactly what you imagined. he's only halfway in and you're already struggling to breathe, but not wanting him to stop you hold your breath and push down even further; trying desperately not to moan.

the tears in your eyes causing your vision to be blurry, you attempt to blink them away.

"shit – ", he's pumping into you now, rubbing the tears from your cheeks and then placing both his hands on your head, "you're doing so well – "

getting lost in his words, the fear of being caught is so far away; you finally moan around his cock. saliva soaking the hem of his shirt, you can't seem to take his whole length, no matter how hard you try. you're a fucking mess under him and the thought alone is nearly sending you over the edge.

he's trying to pull away now and you know he's close, so you snake your hand around his hip, hoping this is enough of a sign to him that if he dared to cum anywhere else than down your throat, you'd bite him.

"you really – " his voice is hoarse, "fuck – this is fucking perfect," he moans as he comes to the realization. leaning his arm against the wall behind you, he's fucking himself into your mouth, his panting and the sound of your choking filling the room.

you close your eyes to blink the tears away again, but eren pulls on your hair, "no – look at me."

with this the knot in your belly explodes, leaving you holding on to eren's hip as you ride the waves of electricity that are running through your body like lava.

"such a good little whore – " he's gone as well, holding your head in place as he's pumping his load down your throat, leaving you no other option than to swallow – which you eagerly do. you feel his legs shaking under your hands.

once again, eren hands you his shirt to clean your face. this time, you take it with a smile, noting that, "i still have your other one."

"don't worry, i'll come get it sometime when sasha's away," the two of you know exactly what this means – neither of you are planning on this to be over anytime soon.

"i'll let you know, then," you nod and stand up, hoping you don't look as well-fucked as you feel, and make your way to the door, "she's gone most of the time."

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[pinkplantmakesstuff]

[Sat opposite me is none other then The Commander himself. We are in my office; surrounded by stacks of notebooks and stationary, this is no battlefield and it's clear The Commander is currently out of his depth.

I will admit I was shocked when he agreed to an interview; the Commander is infamously secretive about his private life and personal affairs, and there are terrible rumours about his foul temper and monstrous appearance. Sat opposite me however, is a young, world-weary man]

Exclusive interview continues under the Read More...

Let's start with some introductory questions, can you introduce yourself?

[There's a pause before he finally speaks, he's surprisingly soft spoken.] My name's Alec. [He looks at me, and I have to prompt him for more] Oh I see. Uh people refer to me as the Commander, but I'm, not really? I don't, well I don't belong to the Pact anymore? But apparently the title stuck. And I just, end up helpin' with stuff still. [He shifts uncomfortably, and I need to know what brought him to my office today, why he's changed his mind before I continue with the more personal questions.]

So, Commander, what's changed? Why an interview now? After refusing to talk to any journalists for so long, what caused this change of heart?

[There's a another long pause.] Well, I mean...a couple of people told me it might be...good for appearances, to you know talk to one of you people, instead of just... lettin' everyone make stuff up about me all the time. [I assume he means the rumours that make up most of his public perception - like the idea his mouth is full of flesh-tearing fangs- which I can now confirm to be false. He may have pointed fangs but they are small, and he seems more interested in gnawing at his own lip.] Oh, uh and you can just call me Alec I guess.

Well thank you for choosing to speak to me Comman-Alec, now lets move onto the more personal stuff; what is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

[This seems to catch him off guard.] That, that is kind of, personal. [He grimaces and draws his arm tightly across his chest. "You said you didn't want people to make stuff up about you anymore, why don't you tell people so they know the real you."] I, well, ok. [He gives a defeated sigh but it seems I've swayed him around for now at least] Uh I'm a guy and I like other men. And, uh, there, might be someone. He's...[Alec mulls over his words for a minute, the "fearsome" fangs nibbling at his own mouth again] well he's like, there's a connection? It's hard to explain. ["You've just disappointed many potential suitors I suspect!" At this he lets out a surprised laugh, as if he can't believe what I said. "Is this potential someone your fearsome companion you've been rumoured to be spotted with? With fangs and horns even greater then your own?" At this he frowns, folding his arm in again.] He's not fearsome he's just, well he's great. [I've clearly struck a nerve so I choose to move on.]

Where and when were you born?

[Another one-armed shrug.] Dunno. Some small place. Don't remember it, don't care. And uh, I'm like, well I think I'm twenty? Something like that I don't know my birthday. I think it's in Winter. [At this it was mine turn to let out an incredulous laugh - which I admit was unprofessional of me. "I knew you seemed young but, only twenty? That's, you've done a lot for someone so young." There's another, lengthier pause.] S'pose so. [He doesn't comment on this further.]

Here's something you should know plenty about! What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

[He narrows his eyes at me, and then tilts his head thoughtfully. For a moment I thought he was going to demonstrate his magical capabilities I've heard so much about but then he simply shakes his head, a if deciding against it.] Magic. People don't like it. ["Yes I've heard the rumours of your powerful necromancy, as well as the tales of you being able to transform-" He cuts me off] I fight with magic. [Again I've struck another nerve, but I don't blame him. The rumour-mill has been particularly unkind to this young man, and it's no secret how many people view darker aspects of magic unfavourably.]

Lastly, for these introduction questions, are you happy?

[We sit there in silence for several minutes, and it seems he has no answer for me. I decide to move on quickly.]

Let's move onto the people in your life! What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Uh, I don't. Well my family is, well she's a baker. We grew up together. And V-my... partner? [He catches himself, clearly trying to protect keep them anonymous.] I don't have any other family I guess. But, I'd do anythin' to keep them safe. [I don't push further but it's clear the Commander's family means as much to him as the next person. Something the rumours have lead people to believe is not the case.]

Have you ever ran away from home?

Yeah. When I was a kid. My friend - the baker. We left together. it was better after that. [Alec doesn't elaborate further to begin with, before realising he's only told me part of it.] From an orphanage I mean - it's the same ol' story about kids losin' family to the Risen then being taken into care when I was a baby. We hated it. We got old enough. We ran away.

You mentioned you have a partner, this mysterious V. Would you consider marriage or having children?

[Alec's demeanour almost doesn't change, but I've not spend years in journalism and not learnt how to read people. This question has clearly flustered the young commander.] Uhh, that's, kind of personal. I don't think about stuff like that? I, well it's just nice having someone around more now. [I was about to move on before he interrupts.] But, kids are good, if, I think I'd have liked too, if things had been different.

Let's talk about some juicy gossip! Do you secretly hate one of your friend?

What? [This clearly catches him off-guard, before letting out a bitter laugh.] No. I haven't got enough of those to secretly hate one of 'em. Plenty of people have made it clear how much they hate me though. I wouldn't be surprised if more of them secretly hated me too. [Another short pause, he shifts in his seat and I catch a peek at the small wings sticking out oh his back.] I'm too tired to hate any of them, especially secretly.

I see, so which friend knows everything about you?

[Almost subconsciously he touches his horns, they are short, stubby things.] I don't think, I have- maybe the two I mentioned earlier know the most. It's hard to talk about things. ["Hmm I'd picked up on that." At this he laughs, the minor tension that had started building up eased slightly.] Yeah I'm not great at words and stuff.

The next set of questions are asked my fans! Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fans? [He shakes his head in disbelief before leaning back in his chair, hair obscuring his face slightly.] The orphanage wasn't much for teachin'. Next question. [I resist the urge to press further.]

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

[He seems to spend some time thinking this one over before shaking his head.] Dunno. I guess I just assume most of the people I meet won't stick around long enough to be friends and...well I guess in a way they don't get to stick around I've....I've lost a lot of people. I guess that counts right? [He laughs slightly at this, but it isn't a happy one. Even the commander, who is oft described as cold is clearly affected by the ongoing tragedies he seeks to help stop.]

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

I don't think I realised Sylvari could glow for like, ages. [He puts his hand up to his face slightly but he smiles slightly as he speaks, and it's only now I've realised he's without his infamous blind-fold. I mention this but he shrugs it off.] I still 'ave it. I just, don't want to wear it right now.

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

[He waves the stump of his missing arm, bandages still visible. Everyone's already heard about the fight against the fearsome Jungle dragon that cost him his arm, as well as the Marshall of The Pact .] Does this count? [He makes no mention of his mental health so I try to press further.] I'm fine.

What is your current main goal?

[Alec shakes his head, before shrugging again.] I'm not gonna talk about stuff like that, in case it puts people at risk, it's, well it's stuff that needs doing to help people.

Let's move onto something easy! Some choices! Drink or food?

Food. I like cooking. ["Really? The famous Commander, known and feared on the battlefield, enjoys being in a kitchen?" He smiles slightly and nods.] It's just nice y'know. I like making things a lot.

Cats or dogs?

Cats. Their senses are easier to see through and they can fit in smaller places. [Before I can ask what he means he continues.] I would like a pet one too I think.

Early bird or night owl?

I prefer getting up early, it means I have longer in the day to get stuff done.

Optimist or pessimist?

[He frowns again.] Don't know. I don't think things are ever gonna go very well. [He merely shrugs when I point out that he sounds like a pessimist.]

Sassy or sarcastic?

I wouldn't say I'm either to be honest. ["There have been reports from Queen Jenna's courts that you have been known to make the occasional sarcastic, scathing remark."] Well there are also reports I've got a huge dragon tail but that don't make it true either. [I don't point out that dry remark he made.]

You'll be pleased Alec, we are finally finishing up! Finally it's time for some "Have you evers". Lets start with have you ever been caught sneaking out?

Nope. I used to be unnoticeable, though, that's changed a...little. [He gestures to himself in what I am assuming is reference to his small wings and horns] Like I said earlier though, magic.

Broke a bone?

Nope not that either. ["Really? With your work on the field and from the battles I've heard, you've truly never broken a bone?] I guess that's just the one thing I got goin' for me I guess.

Received flowers?

I don't think so? Wait yeah maybe but they are from people I don't really know as thanks which is nice I guess- I give 'em to...my baker friend coz she likes to display them in her shop.

Ghosted someone?

[There's another pause, it seemed he'd been slowly getting used to speaking to me but this one has him quiet again.] Not....intentionally. Keepin' in contact is hard when you're constantly travelling. And writing is... not one of my greatest talents.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Uhh to be honest I probably wouldn't realise it was a joke sometimes', and if I did and I don't get it then maybe they should have told a better joke. [He shrugs and I can't help but laugh at his honesty]

[There you have it readers, an EXCLUSIVE interview with the feared Commander himself. Nothing like the rumours who describe him as "The Beast", The Commander is just another war-weary fighter trying to do what's right.]

Thank you @the-mystic-dragon for tagging me this was so much fun to write! (Even if it took like, an hour, and I massively changed the format XD) This is written as if it's around mid to late lws3 and before PoF as well as in the au with Vasche! Vasche is @resonatingfern's wonderful character and Alec's "mysterious partner" in this. In terms of tagging, if ya wanna do one go ahead! Though I did change the format quite a bit oops XD

[sylphwriter]

The songs you mentioned in your SI fic were good ones, do you have any recommendation for songs like them?

Oh wow! Gotta think back hard to remember what songs I put in...

I feel like I can't say my taste in music is quite the same as back then, but there's probably still overlap with what I listen to most now.

I still listen to the bands Nightwish and Poets of the Fall. More of the latter than the former, Poets suits a workplace better while putting on a Nightwish album at work can be a bit out of place. A band I got really into in the past few years is The Crane Wives. "The Moon Will Sing" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwhec-xnWfY "Hollow Moon" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWIQtdFqUv8

Back in the day a reader recommended Of Monsters and Men to me and I've collected a few favorites from their work as well, they can be hit or miss for me sometimes but somehow I still haven't gotten around into checking out all of their music so there could be more gems I've missed. "King and Lionheart" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A76a_LNIYwE "Wolves Without Teeth" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAI5GSyXMjA

Amarante is good for stuff that can be very calming for me, and will just end up singing along with. Also had songs I privately imagined would be the themes for FTaBV anime openings or such. "Light in the Darkness" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea0P4HEh7RI "Home" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BjgmmbSLtY

Recently stumbled into Shawn James' music, and it hit me hard. In no small part because it instantly reminded me of stuff I was working on in my original story's plot or it would just slap me with a new idea for it. "Thief and the Moon" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFZGt6bMAXA "Curse of the Fold" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJrgpLvhYmk

Besides this there's just so many game soundtracks in my music library, literally designed to just be put on in the background while you focus on other stuff. Octopath Traveler, Unraveled 2, Genshin Impact, Hades, many many covers or songs inspired by The Legend of Zelda games. This is already becoming a pretty chunky answer and that's with me (mostly) restraining myself from going on about all the things these songs remind me of or inspire me for.