#and it also makes me dysphoric. and so does every time someone assumes I'm a lesbian

[senkayro]

still thinking about that time I went to some lgbt support group (which was actually more like a meet up for queer people that happened every tuesday) that I was esp interested in because I heard it was mostly genderqueer and I was just about to start testosterone- but everyone there treated me so weirdly. I tried to start a few conversations, only to be brushed off, and the ones I had were stiff and I felt I was making them uncomfortable and so I felt uncomfortable and stressed out so I left.

but it's fine, a bad day, I was tired already, I'll try next week, since there is supposed to be an integration party with card games and shit. and the next week I finally managed to introduce myself. and it's cool! I have a few conversations and there is this one dude who is also trans and I tell him how anxious I was last week, and-

"oh, yeah, sorry, some of us had bad interactions with radfems so they can be a bit sus"

and I'm fucking staring at him like

"haha, what do you mean???"

"well, you just look like a lesbian, haha."

I didn't come back

[transzilla]

"#but honestly no disrespect if i see anything to do with making a tgirl comptop like its revolutionary im gonna get pissed"

fuck thank you so much for saying this. seeing people glorify not just non-op but even... ANTI-op perspectives and sexuality, and frame lower dysphoric people who want/need SRS as dinosaurs is so depressingly transphobic.

just added extra when you've had trauma FOR being someone who doesn't have sex with the parts you were born with, and even other people in the queer/trans world will try to literally SA or verbally lash out to pressure you to do it. whatever happened to affirming people's transitions and needs yk?

comptop for trans girls and compbottom for trans guys is horrifyingly real and just an offshoot of misgendering and how transphobes always treat us pre-transition. i'm sick of people praising themselves as so revolutionary and queer for expecting me to have the same kind of sex as someone's conservative parents would approve of

I hear you omg I've also had incredibly gruesome experiences with people who can't seem to fathom the idea that I actually don't want to bottom as a trans male LMAO like with cis people it's like whatever ya'll are DEMONS anyway but with other trans people it really catches me off guard how common that sentiment is. it's incredibly disturbing that you'll see the same like entitlement issues and assumed consent and transphobic sexual assumptions in other gay and transgender people .. It feels like betrayal like it really truly does catch you off guard. Like I've had people try to talk me out of being a top like I was fucking lying or something saying like... whatever booboo shit like ohhh no way that's not you, you say yas queen sometimes you're too nice you're too cute I can't see you doing it... blah blah blah.. Like this shit is insane, do you hear yourself??

And like the thing about this inability for queer people to confront their transphobic expectations... they will run away from it seemingly forever!! Like I'll see people try to misconstrue their personal beliefs and make it seem like it's this lib slay because haha wow dude's on bottom and woman's on top. And they're trans. Sex positivity teehee time to assume cause I want this every trans person I meet will want this. All that shit about how they're correct meanwhile they're not taking no for a god damn answer!! Like at least conservative transphobes are just gonna tell it to you straight that they don't see you as a person LMAO there is no subliminal messaging politicizing bullshit. Like  is it really femdom female empowerment when the woman is topping when everyone fucking makes her top and no one considers what she wants? Like wowww that's some feminism right there LMAO

There are gonna be tons of people who will respect you for your preference nd SRS and will be like damn that's really cool but my heart breaks, sometimes, like the amount of lgbt people who perpetuate the same three ringed trans-people-are-pornhub-categories shitshow in a place they're parading as safe. Like it truly does feel like the half-baked offspring of misgendering, like well sure we can do all your pronoun crap but we think you owe us at least this. Like aren't ya'll supposed to be better about this bullshit? Trust no one!!! Lmao.

[cringelordofchaos]

OK OK Sooo

My gender is apparently hella weird cuz I keep changing my mind over whether I'm trans or just gnc cis and someone said I could be gender fluid once which makes sense but in that case my gender changes every single fucking day lmao

i also get pretty dysphoric(?) when I get called my agab irl (idc too much Abt online perception though) but I've been trying to care less and reflect on it all and how people perceive me doesn't have to matter and I am my own person and always will be my own person no matter what other people think. but it still hurts as hell in all honesty.

I miss the days where random kids ran up to me and asked "are you a boy or a girl ??" and me childishly responding with "im a goblin" or just foolishly running away. nowadays people just assume once again and honestly idk how to feel abt that

today I had read a ton of Sophie Labelle's assignedmale comics which is making me requestion my gender identity again although just two days ago I had officially declared to myself that I'm just cis (bc of random radfem shit I saw on tumblr n Twitter that made me hate myself) so pretty confusing

Ive also been thinking I could be just agender cuz how I view gender is pretty weird but then again I could always just be cis n confused

I had tried googling "passing tips for trans people" bc yeah and i don't think I'm going to strictly follow those guidelines cuz some guides say "you HAVE to dress like this DO NOT dress like THAT and express yourself the way you want to" and I really don't want to just be "normal and passing" I still want to be authentic to myself and be fucking weird with it lol

my current hair length makes it hard for me to be perceived as anything I would want cuz "short hair = boy" and "long hair = girl" sentiments still exist but whatever I'm just trying to make it work in my own way

If you dont know which pronouns to use anythings fine Im trying to experiment with everything and see how it feels still.

So maybe my gender / how I view gender DOES change every day in which case today I had decided I am a goybirl/birlgoy. I shan't elaborate much further

sorry if any of this is weird/random and sorry for taking such a long time responding and also for dumping all of this onto you. I just really dont know who else to talk to about this since my family's kinda... Ehhhhhg regarding trans stuff (I mean not all my family most r good but I still dont feel much comfortable talking to them abt it)

YOUR HYPER-CIS BUDDY IS HAVING A GENDER CRISIS ONCE AGAIN (may I rant)

Please do man J am here to listen

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Veronica Sawyer dating someone who's transmasc

A/N: here's my obligatory queer content for pride month lol (if you want me to write some other hcs/fics for pride month just lemme know <3) this is kind of a mix between the 80s and present time, just a heads up

Warnings: transphobia, brief mention of slurs (they're aren't typed out, just referred to), brief mention of being attacked/hate crimed, swearing, the Heathers are very supportive allies (they're probably way out of character but I honestly don't even care), brief mention of menstrual cycles/periods

Veronica's the most chill person around, so she'd be really supportive and pretty cool with it

You were pretty good friends before you came out to her, but after you did it made the two of you even closer

When you came out, she waited patiently and listened to you as you told her who you were and how you felt

Obviously, you were extremely nervous over how she'd react; but she just gave you a smile and said she was glad you felt comfortable and safe enough to tell her

She confessed that she actually had a crush on you, to which you replied that you felt the same

The two of you started going steady after that

Veronica's parents don't really mind that you're trans, they're just happy their daughter found someone who loves her and treats her right

You guys face a lot of opposition from both teachers as well as students

Its often difficult to even walk down the halls at school together, as there are many who take to calling the two of you slurs

As big of a bitch as Heather Chandler may be, she's actually somewhat sensitive to your relationship, and she'll absolutely annihilate anyone who she hears talking shit about the two of you

Honestly, all of the Heathers have pretty much accepted you as part of their little group, and will protect you if someone tries to attack you, whether it be physically or verbally

Veronica does her best to make you feel better on days where you feel dysphoric, especially if you also happen to be on your period

If you own a binder, she'll check up on you to make sure you're not wearing it for too long, and if you don't, she makes sure you don't try to use any damaging methods to bind, such as ace bandages

Veronica my love: are you making sure you're binding properly??

You: <read by 3:42 PM>

Veronica my love: I know you saw my message. Just be safe, okay? 💙

Whenever people misgender you, she always corrects them, whether it be on accident or on purpose

Speaking of which, if you have parents or any family members that are transphobic, she'll literally prepare a whole ass lecture on how stupid they are for thinking that if she ever has to see them in person

She always validates you whenever you feel like you don't present masculine enough, especially if you're gender non-conforming or smth like that

"Are you sure I pass well? I mean, I do paint my nails and wear makeup every now and then. Some people might think I'm a girl"

"Of course you do! And if people assume you're a girl just because you like to present feminine every now and then, they're stupid, okay? Don't listen to what other people think of you, especially when they don't even know you"

If you feel comfortable with it, then she'll totally go to a pride parade with you, and if not, then she'll just stay home with you and chill. Whatever makes you comfortable

Overall, I'd say you made a pretty good decision when it came to both telling her you're trans and asking her out

~

Taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @taecube @nevilleismywhore @your-next-daydream

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

I know this is probably going to seem really bad, but I'm still so confused as to why people say that genderbends are transphobic? I really just want someone to explain it to me in a simple, easy-to-understand way, because every time I ask, I get answers that make no sense at all... I just want to understand because I saw a mutual mention how 'its 2018 stop making genderbends thank u'. Please help!

Hey anon!

The reason why you may not have been given a straight answer (I think I’m funny) is because there is no simple answer. However, I will try to give you a rundown of what the most common arguments I have seen from the part of the trans community that is against genderbending.

Based off of what I have seen, here are some of the most commonly-used arguments (no particular order):

Genderbending/cisbending/cisswapping usually assumes that genitalia indicates a person’s gender identity. Many trans people take offense to the idea that each gender is defined by what’s in your pants, because that’s the definition of being trans: society used what’s in your pants to assign your gender and you don’t agree. This is just simply speaking, of course, since the very idea of gender itself is extremely hard to pinpoint without resorting to harmful stereotypes (i.e. men are strong, women are emotional; men like sports, women like fashion), but that’s an entire other conversation.

Another issue that people take with genderbending is that generally speaking, the character is assumed to become the ‘opposite’ gender, which many trans people--especially those who are agender, genderfluid, or any other non-binary identity--feel is a misrepresentation of what gender really is. It can also feel like people are essentially invalidating their identity in a place they thought were safe and understood.

Of course, all of this is made on the assumption that the genderbending is done with the idea of taking a cis character of one gender and changing them to another cis gender, which by itself has no issues. It’s just that when people assume automatically that a cis male character will have female genitalia when ‘bent’ to be female that people start feeling dysphoric and icky, or at least that’s how I interpret it. Gender dysphoria is a big byproduct of being transgender, and seeing people interpreting gender in a way that directly contradicts their existence makes some trans folks feel even worse about their identity.

One other argument against genderbending that isn’t necessarily tied to the trans community (but is tied in with gender roles) is that cisbending (especially male to female) tends to hypersexualize the AU version of the character. Most commonly, you will see a cis male character wearing a reasonable amount of armor turned into a cis female with little more than boob plates and a butt plate (and maybe a pair of gloves and boots). A lot of people take issue with it. A final argument that I have seen is that people often use a cisbent version of one character to make a ship into a certain sexuality that they may find more appealing than another one (I’ve seen homosexual relationships turned heterosexual and vice versa equally often).

There are some very strong opinions on this matter, and I ask that everyone respect both sides. Please don’t go and accuse other commentators of being transphobic or “special snowflakes” (common accusations on both sides of the argument). Also, please remember that no single person speaks for their entire community, even if you believe your views align with the majority opinion within your community. In addition, having a friend in x community while not being in x community yourself does not automatically make you an expert on x community’s opinions and problems, so please listen to the other (polite) opinions of the people within x community who may not agree with you. Finally, please do not witch hunt or otherwise harass users who disagree with you. If you really don’t want to see them or their opinions, use the block button and let it end like that.

With that disclaimer in mind, any thoughts, followers?

--Mod Renoir