#and is more of an unspecific umbrella term

[redacted-coiner]

by *radqueer adjectent* do you mean pro-c/neu-c & pro-harmful transition, or transid users & people who consider more things queer than the rest? or both? geniuine question, it's just. very unspecific imo

What I meant by that is the multitude of blankqueer terms that fall under the radqueer umbrella.

[harlstark]

[raavenb2619]

I’m AFAB but I don’t think I’m a girl. I don’t know what I am. I can’t really tell, it’s hard to separate what I’ve told I am from what I am. I’ve identified as genderqueer for months but I still don’t really know. I can’t really separate it. I can’t tell. I don’t know and nothing helps. It’s not getting better and I’m not getting any closer to figuring myself out. I don’t know what to do.

I’m sorry you feel that way. 

For what it’s worth, figuring yourself out isn’t a race. These things take time. It took me at least a year to go from my “I’m not cis” moment to “I think these labels might work for me”, and even then, I ended up primarily using different labels instead. During that scary, stressful, confusing time, I think what helped me more than anything wasn’t trying any one specific thing, but just trying multiple things. 

I tried just thinking about gender for a while, but that didn’t help, so I started writing down my thoughts about gender, how I was feeling, and so on, because I thought if I could get down every last detail, everything would make sense. Journaling helped a little, but eventually I decided I wasn’t getting that much out of it, so I stopped, and went back to thinking and looking at different terms. I found some terms that I liked, but they didn’t feel exactly right, so I kept looking and thought about coining my own terms. 

I spent a long time questioning, searching for the right words. After long enough, I started to narrow in on specific terms and experiences I could call my own, but I also became more comfortable with vagueness, nebulousness, the idea of questioning and being uncertain, the idea of intentionally using unspecific umbrella terms. Eventually, I got to where I am now, but I’m not 100% convinced that my journey’s completely over; but I’m okay with that, because I know things are better now. 

It sounds cheesy and a little cliché, but I promise, it gets better. 

[demisexualproblems]

Demisexual 101

What is Demisexuality

A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form an emotional connection. It's more commonly seen in, but by no means confined, to romantic relationships.

The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality.

When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close, emotional, relationship is formed.

According to one model, a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person's looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other.

Though factors such as looks and personality do not affect primary sexual attraction for demisexuals (since demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction), such factors may affect romantic attraction, as with any other orientation.

"Demisexual" is sometimes out under the gray-A umbrella. Demisexuality differs from gray-asexuality in that demisexuality is a specific sexual orientation in between "sexual" and "asexual", whereas "gray-A" is a highly unspecific catch-all used for anything between sexual and asexual that does not fit.

Demisexuality may make forming romantic or sexual relationships more difficult for some people. Demisexuals often make first impressions with sexuals of being "just friends", which may make sexuals value the relationship less. Or more depending on the person.

What Demisexuality is not

•Demisexuals are prudish or choosy.

One common misconception about demisexuals is that they are simply more choosy or “prudish” than other people who identify with mainstream sexualities. This isn’t the case; it’s that a demisexual does not feel any desire until an emotional connection is present.

•Demisexuals are scared of their sexuality.

Another common misconception is that a demisexual is scared of sex or is hiding their sexuality. Again, a demisexual simply sees sex in a different way than other “mainstream” sexualities, and because of that, may not place a high importance on sexuality unless they feel emotionally connected.

•Demisexuals don’t like sex.

Demisexuals do like sex, but only when they are attracted to their partner.

•Demisexuals are boring in the bedroom.

Just like anyone with a mainstream sexuality, some demisexuals are “vanilla,” while others are interested in experimenting. Demisexuals are all unique, and some may be more sexually adventurous than others.

•Demisexuals have a low sex drive.

While demisexuals may not have a high sex drive throughout their lives when they’re not in a relationship, they may not desire sex that may not be the case when a demisexual is in a relationship. A demisexual may have a high sex drive with a certain partner, or they may not. Again, it’s all dependent on the individual.

•Demisexuals are just straight people trying to be apart of the LGBT community

People who say this are forgetting that there are demisexuals that experience same sex attraction. There are homoromantic and panromantic demisexuals along with the heteroromantic. Not to mention transgender demisexuals, agender demisexuals, and nonbinary demisexuals. Even if a person who is demisexual identifies as heteroromatic, they are still under the ace spectrum.

•All Demisexual people are attracted to everyone who becomes close to them.

This is kind of ridiculous. While some demis might become attracted to a close friend, that doesn't mean that they're attracted to everyone. Just because they're close with their cousin doesn't mean they are planning a wedding with them.

• Demisexuality is just a preference.

Here’s the thing: it would be a preference if someone would rather not sex or a relationship until they and their partner have established a close relationship. (aka abstaining)

With demisexuality, an actual attraction isn't present until they have a strong romantic and emotional bond in the relationship. They are not abstaining, but they do initially have a lack of any attraction.

•Demisexuals are just self proclaimed slut- shamers

Demisexuals have a variety of feelings about sex and other sexual activities. Some may be only comfortable having sex once they are close to someone, while others might enjoy casual sex for the feeling, not for the other person. Some are even sex repulsed. All feelings about sex are valid in a demisexual identity: the only thing that defines demisexuals is that they only feel sexual attraction after forming an emotional bond. Just because a majority of demisexuals don't partake in casual sex themselves doesn't mean they hate people who do.

Does Demisexuality have a pride flag?

Yes, we do have one. And the image above is the flag.

The colours in the flag represent different aspects of the community.

•black: a symbol for asexuality

•purple: for community

•gray: represents “Gray-Ace”

•white: sexuality

[demisexualmisconception]

What's is a DemiSexual

A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a emotional connection. It's more commonly seen in, but by no means confined, to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality.

When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close, emotional, relationship is formed.

According to one model, a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience the secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person's looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other.

Though factors such as looks and personality do not affect primary sexual attraction for demisexuals (since demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction), such factors may affect romantic attraction, as with any other orientation.

"Demisexual" is sometimes out under the gray-A umbrella. Demisexuality differs from gray-asexuality in that demisexuality is a specific sexual orientation in between "sexual" and "asexual", whereas "gray-A" is a highly unspecific catch-all used for anything between sexual and asexual that does not fit.

Demisexuality may make forming romantic or sexual relationships more difficult for some people. Demisexuals often make first impressions with sexuals of being "just friends", which may make sexuals value the relationship less.

Demis may also append a gender orientation to the label, as in "Demi-heterosexual".

[thinking-upside-down]

Pidge and Gender

12.27.18 I started this earlier, but then my computer did a thing, and now I have to start over. It is 12:06 in the morning, I should be sleeping, but I am (a) not tired and (b) watching the eighth season of Voltron for the first time. I wasn’t sure what I was going to talk about today, but I think I know now. I want to discuss my favorite character, Pidge, and the excellent story-telling elements about her that make modern Voltron better than the original (and maybe some gender stuff, not sure yet). If you haven’t seen all the episodes, this will have some spoilers. It will also be like a rant, but not angry and more about praise than anger. Random: The current paladins are meeting the Paladins Of Old, THIS IS SO COOL, yeeeeeeeeeeeee! Anyway, Pidge. In the original 80′s version, Pidge was a noticeably small dude with a squeaky voice that would attack people by shrieking and headbutting them. He was a sort of comic relief. But when Dreamworks remade the show, they added much more depth to Pidge’s character. In the first (three? four?) episodes, it is kind of assumed by everyone, including the characters, that Pidge is male. Then Pidge reveals to the team that she’s actually a girl. Here’s the thing: Pidge is actually biologically female. She had been using a different name and disguising as a male to search for her missing father and brother using equipment at the Galaxy Garrison (a military space station on Earth that trains people to protect the planet) after she had been banned from the premises as a female. Here’s the thing - while many people who don’t agree with the gender they were assigned at birth can relate to Pidge’s situation, she isn’t technically transgender. Dreamworks made Pidge a biological female, and because of that, the conservative community accepts the show. It is an excellent story-telling technique, similar to how J. K. Rowling never directly stated in the Harry Potter series that Dumbledore was gay- only subtle references that implied it. Voltron managed to show support to LGBTQ+ individuals without repelling people with strong traditional values. Random: YEEEEE Allura just was reunited with her dad, this is amazing . . . There are other LGBTQ+ references in the show as well (that shall not be named for the spoilers), but they are more obvious. I think I’m going to talk about gender stuff after all. I am not trans. It’s more complicated than that (not that being trans isn’t complicated). When Pidge told the other Paladins, Allura, and Coran that she was a girl, everyone was quick to accept her. They thought she was male, but she’s actually female. Male. Female. Got it. For me, I don’t really think of myself as either. And unlike plenty of YouTubers and memes, my birth name and wrong pronouns don’t make me feel like screaming or anything like that. They just feel . . . like maybe a leech sliding along my skin. But I’ve never actually experienced leeches touching me, so maybe that’s inaccurate. It feels like other people are talking to someone else when they use the wrong name/pronouns. But I go to a relatively conservative school and I’m not out to anyone besides my sister, so I can’t really go by anything else until I’m more confident in my identity. And even if I was confident and out of the closet and went to a more accepting school, a lot of people who accept transgenderism don’t believe in they/them pronouns (only two genders, man and woman . . .). But I can tolerate it, so that’s what I do. That’s what I’ve been doing for a long time. I don’t know what I am, besides non-binary, which is an unspecific umbrella term. I’m not going to be able to come out to others until I come to terms with what I am first. I had to turn off Voltron, sadly, since it’s late. If you haven’t seen the show, I would highly recommend it, as long as you can pay attention to it and understand things like space and time and foreign technologies and terms. I should go to sleep now, it is 12:57 in the morning. Goodnight, readers. There is an answer; good luck finding yours. - Thinking_Upside_Down

[variant-archive]

Several of these are specific genders or gender modalities (cis trans etc) and not gender natures, although I appreciate the effort and understand why you did it since I didn't clarify much in the post about what gender natures are. This is not meant to list every gender, it is meant to list general unspecific qualities referring to a multitude of different terms and it won't function correctly or mean the same thing if that is changed as it was the intention from the start to use these as umbrella terms for the purpose of categorization of the gender spectrum. Some in the list refer to specific genders but actually contain dozens beneath them like agender (there are A LOT of AGIN terms) however most of yours are too specific and narrowed down. However, ones that could certainly be used as natures because they are general enough to contain many sub-terms are 2SIN (different tribes have different specific two-spirit gender terms so I see this as good reason to have it as a nature), CSIN, IIN, EIN (maybe, EIN would be more like ABIN in use since it contains most other natures and is very very unspecific) and AIIN (although I suggest ALTIN instead for this one as an altersex folk) and those would be very useful so thank you! There's also a "collector in nature" for gender hoard type subterms but I'm currently trying to find the post it was coined in bc I forget what acronym was used. I hope I don't come across as rude but it's important that the integrity and functionality of the concept is maintained. I know this seems nitpicky but the level of generalization being too wide or too narrow is a genuine issue here that needs to be considered. Message me if you aren't sure if your idea(s) fit or not and I'll explain, I have no problem with doing that

Gender Natures List Nov. 2020

Y’all have probably seen terminology like “FIN” or “MIN” or “AGIN” or other acronyms ending in -IN. These are categories describing different distinct gender traits, which is helpful to have for many reasons. It has become the primary way gender traits are generally categorized and many new and lesser known ones have developed to describe existing gender traits, so I am taking the time to list them all (and make flags for some without them, in another post). I will give descriptions and extra info for some of the traits if I feel clarification is needed. Some of these I coined, many I didn’t.

FIN- Feminine In Nature.

MIN- Masculine In Nature.

LIN- Androgynous (the L comes from Male/Female) In Nature. Includes natures that are both FIN and MIN, or those which blend the two natures.

AGIN- Agenine/Agender In Nature.

NIN- Neutral In Nature.

UIN- Unknowable* In Nature. UIN is unique in that the “U” refers to several similar adjectives which are used interchangeably, although I personally use “unknowable” as the default for ease and generality. It can also stand for uncertain, unquantifiable, undefinable, unidentifiable, unexplainable and undeterminable. This gender nature differs from questioning in that the UIN individual does in fact know that the nature of their gender is inherently unknowable. I pronounce it simply as “un” but this isn’t official as I did not coin it.

AIN- Aporine/Aporagender In Nature.

ABIN- Abinary In Nature. This includes several other natures under it like AIN, XIN, AGIN, and NIN and therefore isn’t a specific category, but it has been coined and can be helpful for more general use so I am listing it.

XIN- Xenine/Xenogender In Nature.

AMIN- Ambiguous In Nature. (pronounced amm-in)

USIN- Confusing In Nature. (pronounced “usin’“, like “using” contracted)

APIN- Apathetic In Nature. (pronounced “appin”)

QUIN- Queer In Nature. Also includes genders such as genderpunk or genderf*ck, and other intentionally and/or prominently non-normative genders. And includes genderqueer of course. (Pronounced “kwin”)

AUIN- Autonomous In Nature. I pronounce it “aww-in” but I didn’t coin it so I won’t claim that as “official” or anything.

PLIN- Partial In Nature. Basically demigender type terms.

POIN- Pangender/Polygender/Omnigender In Nature. (pronounced “pon”)

UXIN- Flux In Nature.

IDIN- Fluid In Nature.

FLIN- Fluix In Nature. Combination of UXIN and IDIN.

OIN- Outherine In Nature.

OKIN- Otherkin/Kingender In Nature.

ROIN- Neurogender In Nature. (pronounced “rowan”/”row-in”)

AUTIIN- Autistic/Autigender In Nature. Subtype of ROIN.

FEIN- Female In Nature. Female is different from feminine.

MAIN- Male In Nature. Male is different from masculine.

NUIN- Null In Nature.

VOIN- Void In Nature. Can’t find the post now but I swear I saw it coined so I’m listing it. I think it was coined in the same post as NUIN.

It is possible that there are signified traits I’m not aware of that are not listed here, but regardless, there are still some qualities to be signified in the future. If you have questions about any of the traits, you can search for them on major gender blogs or message me and I will clarify. (Except OIN bc I’m still trying to figure it out myself lmao like I know the definition but not what it *is* or examples etc)

(Also only neurodivergent folks can use ROIN and only autistic folks can use AUTIIN hopefully that goes without saying but just in case)