#and intersex people can be tme/tma because we are still assigned a gender at birth and that assignment still affects us in ways related to

[sirenium]

Hello! I saw your post about TMA/TME being another binary and it being intersexist. I genuinely want to understand why you think so because the way I’ve seen it being used wasn’t meant to create another binary. It was just for people who experience transmisogyny to have a term for themselves. It’s not based on your agab or your sex. You don’t have to be (amab) transfem to be tma. Plus, in the spaces I’ve seen it being used, it’s understood that being tme/tma can change. One’s relationship to the term can be complicated. I’ve shared my point of view so if it’s okay, I’d like to understand yours.

I don't know how else to tell you this, but any framework that's essentially oppressed/not oppressed, at least in the way it can easily get used, is eventually going to char intersex people in the desire of perisex (and, let's be honest, widely white) trans people to come out on top in the oppression olympics. even if some people can actually acknowledge us for once, there are others who act like only perisex trans women can be 'TMA' and to hell with everyone else... except those who happen to be 'AMAB'. I've actually seen an intersex person in favor of it admit that it's completely based on what you were born as.

'"...maybe intersex people who were assigned female can be tma" literally NO THEY CAN'T the whole thing about transmisogyny is that it's based around your assigned gender'

that is the direct quote. do you see how this gets intersexist? intersex people assigned female at birth can be affected by transmisogyny, but some people don't want to think so because then their viewpoints explode. you say someone's experiences with TME/TMA can be complicated but I've seen more than enough people water it down to 'AMAB only', so whether or not it was not intended that way in its creation, it is still at risk to be used as a weapon to try to push everyone into gendered and often sex based boxes which, say it with me, hurts intersex people. it happens too much to just be coincidental.

if you want to listen to more intersex people about this, I suggest looking at this post (link) as well as this one (link). I'm tired of perisex trans people acting like us saying anything is such a fucking affront to them (/nay); they cover up their intersexism with cries that the person calling them out on it is simply 'transmisogynistic' and I'm tired of it. We're never listened to and used as a talking point when it suits perisex trans people if ANYTHING, and when we dare have a back bone about blatant intersexism in the trans community, perisex trans people lose their minds because we dared not stay in the shadows while letting the perisex people rule the conversation.

[epiceneandroid]

radiomogai experiences questions so far

1.) so, for the first question, are you asking "us" or are you asking "me"? because i'm SOME kind of disordered system, and "us" and "me" are partially blurry, partially distinct entities. personally, as ashren, i'd describe myself as some sort of bi oriented, greyrose, panabinary agender mxsc and fxm genderblank person. that makes most sense to me. our system collectively identifies as genderfluid and epicene, even if i don't personally feel the whole epicene thing strongly, and a lot of us, especially me, are objectum. most of us that front regularly have a gender hoard aside from like...sprinkles who feels really uncomfortable labeling pup's gender identity beyond pupgender and epicene and butch.

2.) my personal experience with names as a system is like...names kinda pop into our head for us and they stick. francis george and bonett were both named after a h*talia character (unfortunately), i named myself completely randomly vibes based, etc. our system has a vague fascination with names, so we enjoy seeing a lot of varying names we could've called ourselves. most of our system feels comfortable with they/them except for bonett, who prefers he/him and any neos, and i generally just prefer they/it/null so far.

3.) i guess one of my favorite gender terms would be agender and genderblank, for different reasons. agender is partially kind of a political thing; i want to be treated like a person, after being treated like something to be feared as a former persecutor and current mental illness holder in the system, and genderblank resonates with me because like...whenever i try to actively THINK about my gender, personally, it comes up a blank, empty space.

4.) lol i can't really express my identity through clothing and style i want to buy men's clothes but i can't! i'm semi-closeted and my mom KNOWS our system is some form of transgender but we can't socially transition because she's afraid it'll make us "want a sex change" our desire to get t varies lol most of the time we just want to pass for a sexless, generic person.

5.) i mainly plan for social and legal transition, like, our system's blanket name changing (though i don't know what name we'd use irl; if we can find a suitable one for all of us that we feel drawn to we'll eventually use it), and maybe either estrogen blockers, progesterone, and SARMs or estrogen blockers, progesterone, and low dose t. i'm not sure.

6.) okay, i'm gonna get a little bit critical for a moment, but i'm not fond of the mogai community's pervasive transmisogyny. i understand that there are certain intersex experiences, such as those who are assigned female at birth due to ambiguous sex traits but end up being transmisogyny affected if they desire to still remain women as they were raised (see: eggs at 12 syndrome), that would fall under "afab transfem", but i'm a bit irritated at fellow people who are possibly intersex also like possibly myself, with possible congenital adrenal hyperplasia AND pcos, considering themselves transfem when transmisogyny, unfortunately, and a lot of ways transition relates to gender, relies on assigned sex. it's actually kind of frustrating. at the same time, i feel ostracized from a lot of transfeminist communities for accepting that there are transfeminine nonbinary people who are not perfectly binary, perfectly dysphoric, and perfectly wanting a binary transition, and it irks me because there are so many people i care about who are tma and nonbinary and as a tme nonbinary person, i want to protect them and ally with them as much as i can, and people treat tma women like dirt already so tma nonbinary people are treated like dirt doubly and...people don't get it. and the mogai community isn't very welcoming to the tma nonbinary people who are ostracized from certain communities but ostracized from the mogai community because of this...permissiveness? lack of consideration to tma experiences? it's frustrating.

7.) i don't necessarily think i'll ever find a label i feel comfortable with, but it's like...theoretically, i'd say i'm bisexual, but i and a lot of our system genuinely seems to prefer nonbinary people of any transmisogyny exemption status or even birth assignment rather than cis men, cis women, trans women, or trans men. it's like...nonbinary people 60-80%, binary people 40-20%. but it's not like i'm not attracted to binary identified people, i am, it's just...somehow nonbinary people are far for attractive to us. yet we distinctly feel very multi gender attracted. i don't have a name to put on this label and i don't know if i'll find one i feel more comfortable with than bisexual.

@radiomogai here's mine so far