#and intensely more angsty if it’s just jamie

[girl-hwat]

on my nuwho s6 rewatch with my sister, and having just read @the--highlanders recent twojamie fic and—

brainrotting jamie in the God Complex hotel

his absolute faith in the doctor that serves like a anchor for him, his possible fear room (everything he is running away from, or has lost, or will lose)

i can’t get it out of my head

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Little Lupin {pt.3}

A/N: Can't be stopped. Working on an angsty part 2 to "Too Late" and another angsty Fred x Reader I needed a fluff break. Once again, not proof read, didn't have the time

Cw: Suggestive, cussing, love sick James, getting walked in on

Part 1 - Part 2

James always tasted like treacle tarts.

You used to smell them, on his shirt and on his breath when you would talk to him in the halls, but now? Being locked away in James’s dorm, where he laid you down on his bed, the taste became your absolute favorite thing.

Caramelized toffee and minty toothpaste filled your senses as his tongue danced over yours. Ever since your first kiss on Halloween, James had become so much more confident with you. From Christmas break to summer rendezvous you could hardly believe it's been a year.

Bold too, considering he just got out of Quidditch practice and asked you to his dorm under the guise of studying. You hardly got out your books before he was kissing your neck and tugging you along to his sheets.

You could hardly keep up with the intensity as James pulled you closer, the sheets cool against your skin contrasting with the warmth radiating from his body. The way he held you, a mix of gentleness and urgency, nearly sent you into a frenzy. His fingers tangled in your hair, and you found yourself lost in the rhythm of his kisses, each one reminding you, you both were on borrowed time.

“Are you sure?” He murmured against your lips. The question didn't have time to hang in the air. You met his gaze, his hazel eyes were the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. You bit your lip and nodded, his boldness infectious.

“Definitely.” You practically begged, your voice barely above a whisper.

He grinned, that cheeky one that got you into this mess in the first place.

“His weight shifted, slipping between your legs easily, trailing his kisses down your neck. You took a shuttered breath, your hands tangling into his hair to pull him back to a proper kiss. He deepened it as his hips pressed hard against yours, making you gasp a bit.

“Just so you know…” He mumbled as he broke the kiss. Kissing the corners of your mouth, before nipping at your lip. “I'm absolute shite at studying.”

You have a laugh, unable to help how your body was absolutely giddy with excitement. Merlin, he was driving you crazy and knowing he could see your flushed cheeks made it so much worse.

“What?” He chuckled as you whine and squirmed with your smile that dazed him. He leaned closer and nipped at your ear next, making you squeal. “So much energy.”

“Maybe it’s your fault.” You shot back, trying to sound teasing but the breathlessness in your voice betrayed you. You felt electrified, every touch igniting a fire within you that you didn’t know could burn so brightly. The playful banter was a welcome distraction from the way your heart raced, the way his body pressed against yours felt like an uncharted territory you were eager to explore. Merlin, did you love this boy? You were certain of it at this point.

“Me? I’m just trying to help you study.” He gasped with mock seriousness, his lips curling into that infuriatingly adorable smirk. “And clearly, we need to work on some… practical applications.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress a laugh, your heart twisting with a mixture of affection and exhilaration. “Practical applications, huh? Is that what we’re calling this?”

“Absolutely.” He hummed, his voice low and teasing as he leaned closer, grinding his hips again and making you gasp out at the reminder of your position. “I know you're a hands-on learner.”

He smirked at you, clearly seeing how much every little touch was driving you mad. He loved it.

“Jamie…” You gasped as he ran his lips over your neck again, only for him to pause, his breath warm against your skin as he pulled back slightly to look at you. The way he gazed at you made your heart skip a beat; a mix of desire and mischief dancing in his hazel eyes. There was so much affection you thought you might just burst.

“What?” He teased, his voice low and playful, leaning in just enough to brush his lips against your collarbone. “You don’t want to study anymore?”

“Of course I do.” You breathed, trying to sound indignant but failing miserably as a giggle escaped your lips. “But I didn’t realize this was part of the curriculum.”

He laughed, a bright, infectious sound that filled the room. “Well, I can assure you, it’s definitely on the syllabus now.”

With that, he leaned back in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss filled with enthusiasm. You responded eagerly, your fingers gripping the fabric of his Quidditch jersey, pulling him closer as if there was a fear he might pull away.

“James.” You murmured against his lips, your heart pounding in your ears. “Jamie, baby.”

He groaned against your lips and bit your lip again. “Please never call me anything else. Fuck, that sounds so pretty coming from you.”

You didn't want to ruin the moment- but come on- “Yes, Professor Potter.” You cheeked and he paused.

Pulling back he looked at you, horribly offended, his face a mix of disgust and absolute astonishment.

“Professor Potter?!” He exclaimed, his eyes wide as he tried to suppress a laugh. “That’s the worst nickname I’ve ever heard! You’re going to ruin my reputation!”

You couldn’t help but burst into laughter at his expression, the way he feigned horror making your heart race in a completely different way. “Oh, come on! It’s perfect! Imagine the rumors that would spread: ‘James Potter, the Quidditch star and esteemed professor of… practical applications! With his studious assistant.’”

“Not if I can help it!” He leaned in closer, a bright smirk on his lips. “I’d rather have you call me something far more appropriate for the situation… how about ‘James, the amazing kisser’?”

You couldn't help but giggle at his confident proclamation, shaking your head in mock disbelief. “James, the amazing kisser? That sounds more like an ego boost.”

He gave a hurt expression, placing a dramatic hand over his heart. “Ego boost? No, no. It’s a title I’ve earned through hard work and dedication!”

You laughed, your heart throbbing at his playful antics. “Sure, if you say so, Professor.”

He rolled his eyes, but the grin on his face told you he was enjoying this banter just as much as you were. “Okay, fine. But let’s not forget who’s the one getting the real education here.” He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours, silencing any further protests.

As his kiss deepened, you felt the world around you fade away. The teasing, the laughter- it all melted into a warm haze of affection. His hands roamed your waist, pulling you closer as if he were trying to meld your bodies together. Every brush of his arms and lithe fingers was doing you in.

It was perfect. It was blissful, lovely, patient, and everything you could ask for. He treated you like a precious jewel, like one wrong move would ruin you. Even though he was the one ruining you- day in and day out.

It felt like, for once, everything was as it should be. And as his hands lowers to your thighs, putting more weight down on you as his finger tips inched up your skirt- “Prongs! Where's the damn map?”

Almost. Until Sirius came storming in asking about some stupid map- what map? Why does he need a map? Right now? Right when James was about to get into it again-

“H-holy shit.” Sirius laughed out and you threw your head back into James’s pillows in frustration, not upset to be caught again but more upset to be interrupted.

James groaned, clearly as frustrated as you were. “Sirius! Can’t you knock?” He shifted slightly, creating a comical barrier between you and his best friend, though it did little to hide your bruised lips and ruffled uniform.

Sirius’s laughter only grew, his dark eyes taking over you two. “Knock? Mate, this is my room too!” He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, clearly enjoying the spectacle. “I just needed to know if you’ve seen the Map. I swear it’s missing, and I need it.”

“I have it.” He huffed and got up. Leaving you to lean up on your elbows and pout as you waited on his cold bed.

“I took it so Remus wouldn't find us. Why do you need it?” James huffed and crossed his arms. Sirius looked James up and down before arching an eyebrow.

“Why do you need to know?” Sirius teased.

“Well-” Before James could argue, you knew were this was going. You've watched them mock eachother on a daily.

“Jamie.” You whined out and you watched him stiffen from where he leaned against the bed post. Sirius got a wicked grin on his face as James’s ears turned an inviting red. Turning to look at you with a surprised look. “Just give him the map. I'm cold.”

“Bloody hell.” He whispered before scrambling for his bag and practically throwing the map at Sirius. The black haired boy winking at you with a mutter of thanks before hurrying off.

Leaving you with a very red James, who was looking at you like he was debating something in his head. You stared at him, slowly shifting your legs as he continued to stare at you. Your legs curling up and he took a heavy breath. “Oh I'm fucked, man.”

“Jamie?” You whispered and this time, you noticed how blown his pupils were, how he kept staring anywhere but your eyes, just how shaken he was just by the semi public display of affection.

“James?” You whispered again and he shook his head. “Are you okay?”

“I think I'm going to die. You're going to kill me. You or Remus when he finds out.” He mumbled and you gave a laugh and a confused look.

“You're worried about that now? Jamie, it's okay.” You cooed and he walked over, sitting down by you and leaned down to steal a quick kiss.

“He won't find out.” You reassured and he shook his head, running his hands up your sides before slipping into the bed to burry his face in your stomach.

“I want him to. I want everyone to know.” He whispered against your skin, making you give a startled yelp. You stared down at him in shock and slowly but your lip.

“Jamie-”

“Hear me out. Just, just hear me out.” He stammered and sat up. Looking into your eyes as he caged you against his bed. “Why not? Give me a good reason.”

“My brother will kill you, for one.” You laughed nervously, remembering how Remus was already growing suspicious with your constant dodging- and James wasn't exactly secretive when it came to his affections for you.

James’s eyes widened, and he sat up straighter, a playful grin creeping onto his face. “Well, that’s a risk I’m willing to take- he'll have to understand, it's love, yeah?” He declared rather bold, throwing his arms wide as if to emphasize the grandeur of his declaration. Still on his knees between your thighs.

You couldn’t help but laugh, though your heart raced with a million emotions at once. “Love? Now we’re jumping to that already?”

“Is it not?” He leaned in closer, his expression earnest, the teasing glimmer in his eyes softening. “I mean, we’ve been dancing around this for months. I like you, you like me. It’s a simple equation, Professor Potter would know!”

“It’s not that simple, Jamie. There’s more to it than just liking each other.” You countered, though the warmth in your chest grew at his words. He looked so desperate, in such a good way. This was for you- you could about die from that look in his eyes. But love? That's a big word to say so freely. “What about the fallout? What if it ruins your friendship with Remus? He's always been protective. And what about the whole ‘anyone but my sister’ lecture he gave you?”

James laughed softly, almost nervous, shaking his head as if dismissing your concerns. “Remus will come around. He always does. And if he’s really as good a friend as I think he is, he’ll want me to be happy. And you make me happy, more than anyone else ever has.”

You felt a flutter in your chest at his words. Slowly, you were watching this fun fling of yours turn into something so sincere you felt your mouth growing dry. “But what if it doesn’t work out? What if we end up ruining everything?”

His gaze turned serious, the playful glint replaced with sincerity. “I don’t think that will happen. I’m not going anywhere, and I want to make this work. I’m not just messing around here. Haven't.. haven't been for a while” He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, the tenderness of the gesture making your heart race. “You mean too much to me.”

Your breath caught in your throat. You had never seen him look at you in this context. So real. And looking in his eyes like this, you were sure. It was love.

“I'm needy.” You challenged him and he laughed.

“So am I.”

“I am selfish. I would want more of your time then you'd be willing to give.” You furrowed your brow.

“How do you know?” He arched his eyebrow playfully.

“W-would it be weird? Dating your best mate's little sister?” You pushed and he slowly turned serious.

“Why are you trying to talk me out of this? I want you, Lupin. I do.”

“I-” You choked up and sat up, wrapping your arms around his neck. Unable to verbalize just how much you adored him.

He seemed to get it. Wrapping his arms around you and rolling onto his back with a plop. Holding you close and nuzzling his face into your hair. “I love you, I do. I swear on Godric Gryffindor I always will.”

You nuzzled into his neck and gave a low sigh. “Okay.” You croaked.

After a long pause, his grip on you tightened. “... I know it's a lot. But I want to try.” He whispered and you slowly smiled. “I want to know what it feels like. To be loved by you.”

You bit your lip and slowly sat up. Sitting on his lap and letting him sit up with you. Resting on his thighs as you took his cheeks in your palms. “You do, Jamie.”

His eyes widened and a bright smile crossed his face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You whispered and slammed in to hold him back. “I love you, I do.”

He absolutely melted, holding you closer and harder then before. Making you laugh into his chest. “Jamie-”

“Did you know my parents were Hogwarts sweethearts?” He pushed and you gave another, even louder laugh.

“Jamie, please, I can only take so much in one night.”

He laughed and nodded, nuzzling against your neck too. “Sorry. Sorry.”

You gave a small giggle. James had always been one to be thinking years ahead, like he had everything planned out, down to the date of your wedding night. You should of figured it was more then just a fling.

James Potter doesn't love carefully.

[mrschristensen]

Ok I got a request

James and his baby momma who’s a nurse, with their six year old son, peaceful loving life

Frankie shows up at the front door after 10 years,

Frankie mistakes her for a ho and the commotion gets their son out of bed and downstairs

Frankie gets shocked by the kid and you take the rest wherever

Sometimes Even The Strongest Need Protection

WARNINGS: female s/o, kinda angsty?/intense, female s/o, pregnancy, arguments, lmk if I missed any!

synopsis: After Frankie unexpectedly shows up to his brother's house, he finds quite a surprise... and it doesn't really go well.

-> note: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AAA 😭 I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! (I did change up a few things, like not specifying career to make it a bit more generalized, but I hope that you still love it just as much!)

WC: 733 words

"What the fuck is this?" Frankie snarls, eyes darting between the woman in his brother's kitchen. Judging by her swollen belly, she was clearly pregnant. She seemed like she was cooking dinner or something, since it was pretty late in the night.

"I'm so sorry, Frankie. I know that Jamie hasn't introduced me yet-" she started to say, but he cut her off.

"How the fuck do you know my name? Are you fuckin' my baby brother? For Christ's sake!" he yelled, his arms coming up and dropping to his sides as quickly as they rose in frustration. He was mad, clearly. "My baby brother's fuckin' a fuckin' whore."

She didn't know what to say or do, incredibly speechless. She never liked being yelled at by anyone, but she usually just held her own. In this case, however, she felt like the was an outsider, an invasion into their family. She felt... bad. But she shouldn't, she knew that deep down; she was his family whether he liked it or not.

"Mommy?" a soft voice came from the archway, and both of their gazes immediately fell on the little boy. He was six years old, innocent and pure, his eyes looking up at his mother's in both worry and a silent plea for the yelling to stop. "What's going on?"

"Oh my god," Frankie breathed, pacing around in his little spot. "And he knocked her up. What the fuck, man?! I leave for ten fuckin' years and my asshole of a brother just acts like nothing happens! And he gets some cheap hoe pregnant!"

"That's enough," a man loudly boomed from the other room, his tone a growl. She knew exactly who it was: Her husband. He moved to grip her by the waist protectively, standing in front of her and pulling their son to his mother behind him as well. "Don't you dare call my wife such lowly things, Frankie. And stop swearin' around my kid."

The two brothers simply stared each other down, as if trying to egg on the other to start up again. It was completely silent for what seemed like an eternity, before Frankie spoke up once more.

"Why, Jimmy?"

"James."

"Why, James?" he corrects, his fists clenched at his sides as unbridled rage spams throughout his blood. "This makes no sense at all. You never into any chicks."

"You didn't know that," he responds roughly, not letting go of his grip on his family. His family. His wife. His son. "You never even cared to ask."

"Y'know that isn't true," he started, but James held up a hand, silencing him.

"Get out of my house," he urged, his voice hinting at no words for argument, "now. Or I'll make you. We can talk some other time."

Frankie just froze there for a minute, and with a scowl on his face, made his way out the door, slamming it behind him. It made the child wince a bit, and his mother kneels down gently to take him into her arms and kiss him on the forehead, reassuring him in that soft lullaby of a voice that it was okay. It was just a misunderstanding.

He turned to look at the two lights of his life, smiling a bit to himself. He couldn't believe how he got so lucky to wind up with these two, soon to be three or more depending on if they had more. It was a beautiful sight, truly. She was destined for this, her motherly instincts never ceasing to astound him.

After she gently brought him back upstairs and tucked him into bed, she sighed and went to her own shared room with James, getting ready for sleep as well. He was waiting for her, though, and he immediately took her into an embrace, his chin resting on the top of her forehead.

"'M sorry you had to go through that," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her temple. "You didn't deserve any of that."

"I'm okay," she replies, moving back to look at his blue-gray eyes that she loved to get lost in so much. "I'm just glad the situation is over, for now at least."

He nods slightly, "...The kid okay?"

"He's alright. He wasn't that bothered I think, he was just worried about me."

James smiles, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Got that from his father. Always protectin' mama."

[zegrasdrysdale]

Hi! I wanted to send in a request for Jamie! So Jamie and the reader, have been on and off again and hooking up for years, the reader falling in love with him over that time. after their latest hookup the reader realizes she wants more than him, and when she refuses to get back with him he admits how much he loves her. Maybe the prompt “I can’t do this anymore… not with you” I’m in the mood to read something angsty lol

[ protect the heart ] j. drysdale

paring : Jamie Drysdale x fem!reader

summary : after (Y/N) breaks the friends with benefits deal she has with Jamie by falling in love with him. she decides that she can’t keep hooking up with him. she thinks thatJamie will never love her back and she can’t keep hurting herself anymore

warning(s) : angst and feelings ! sad Jamie (i'm sorry), mentions of sex but no actual smut

author’s note : good thing i’ve been in the mood to write something angsty. i took this and ran with it tbh so enjoy :)

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She was never the girl who wanted to be in any kind of romantic relationship like all of her friends. No feelings and no strings attached seemed like the easiest thing way to go. She watched all of her friends get their hearts broken by someone and she didn’t want to go through that same heartbreak.

Until she met Jamie Drysdale. It wasnt until she met the brown hair, blue eyed defenseman for the Ducks through mutual friends when she realized that maybe she was ready to give her heart to someone.

One night out after a hockey game and suddenly she finds herself in bed with a professional hockey player. Over and over … and over again until they finally made a deal.

No feelings. No strings attached. Friends with benefits only because she didn’t want romance and he had too crazy of a schedule to hold a steady relationship. They both get something out of the deal - crazy good sex whenever they wanted.

It’s the perfect deal. It was the perfect deal until (Y/N) broke the one rule they made when they started. They were to never gain feelings for the other. She more than gained feelings for him.

She fell in love with him over the two years since their deal started.

It was slow. She realized her heart rate would quicken every time he looked at her or touched her. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach when he kissed her. Even her orgasms got more intense as she began to fall in love with Jamie.

Now, as she looks up at a sleepy Jamie in his bed, she realizes that she wants more.

She wants the romance that she loathed when she met him. She wants to go out on dates and get showered with kisses whenever they see each other. She wants to wear his jersey to his games without it being a dare from friends. She wants to fall asleep in his arms and wake up beside him in the morning without the awkwardness that follows when they’ve realized that they slept in the same bed.

(Y/N) fell in love with him, and that’s what she came to his apartment to tell him so either he could break the deal or they could begin a new relationship. That was before he kissed her as soon as she crossed the threshold into his apartment and she gave in to him like she always does.

“Jamie?” she whispers, unsure if he’s asleep. Her heart races in her chest.

“I need a few minutes before we go for round two,” he tells her. His voice is weak.

She smiles at the thought of being trapped under his insanely gorgeous body again for the second time in an hour. Her own body reacts to the thought and she pushes her thighs together.

“I just want to talk for a second before we do anything else,” she replies.

He opens his eyes and looks down at her. She’s curled up against his side. She has to detach herself and sit up so she can have this conversation.

“You didn’t come over here for sex, did you?” Jamie asks. “Because if you didn’t and I forced you into it-“

“Jamie, you know I’m always okay with sex,” she interrupts. “You know this. I’d tell you if I wasn’t. You know that too. I came over to talk but I didn’t mind this. I never mind this.”

He relaxes a bit. (Y/N) didn’t even realize he tensed up until his shoulders drop. “What did you come over to talk about?”

Here goes nothing.

“I think I broke our deal,” she slowly tells him. “Because I came over to tell you that I …” She trails off. She swallows hard before she finishes her sentence. “I love you, Jamie. I’ve been falling in love with you for years. I didn’t know how to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin this because I love this. I just want more than this.”

Jamie seems genuinely surprised to hear those words come from her. He’s speechless, but (Y/N) can see the gears turning in his head.

He’s thinking about what she said. It's terrifying.

She gnaws on her bottom lip as she waits for a reply.

"(Y/N), I don't think I can give you more," Jamie tells her. "We've tried to do the whole relationship thing and it never worked out. You didn't like being in a relationship and I travel all the time because of hockey."

With a small nod and a sigh, she looks down at her hands on her blanket covered lap. "I understand," she mumbles. "Sorry for bringing it up."

She feels her heart break a little in her chest. This was the feeling that she hoped to avoid when she started her friends with benefits deal with Jamie. Then she ruined it by falling in love.

(Y/N) finds herself wishing that she ended the deal when she realized she was falling in love. Instead, she didn't believe that she was falling in love and kept going despite her new feelings.

This is her mistake. She set herself up to get hurt because she let it get so far, and now she has to deal with it.

"I'm sorry I can give you more," Jamie tells her as he sits up. He lightly kisses her shoulder. "I'd be the world's worst boyfriend if I did. I would never be around from September until April, maybe even longer if the team ever made the playoffs. Not to mention what would happen if I were to get hurt again. I don't want to put you through any of that."

She has seen shades of what it would be like to be Jamie's girlfriend and they're not even dating. He's so loyal, he always asks for consent during sex, and he's always checking in on her. Even when he's on the road, he texts or calls her when he knows she's having a bad day. He sends her gifts for her birthday and for Christmas if he's on a roadie.

When Jamie was hurt earlier in the season, he never yelled at her and came to her for help when he needed it. He never got frustrated with her when she was smothering him and hovering over him. He made sure that she was taking care of herself while she was looking after him.

That isn't the world's worst boyfriend. It's far from being the world's worst boyfriend.

Jamie runs his fingers through her hair almost like he's trying to apologize. She suddenly finds herself needing to get out of there and go back to her own apartment. She doesn't want to get emotional in front of him.

"I need to go," (Y/N) blurts out. "I'm sorry." She jumps out of bed and begins to get dressed. "You have an early flight to Dallas in the morning anyway so I'll just get out of your hair."

He tries to reach out to stop her but she moves too quick. "No, stay," Jamie tries to tell her. "We can grab dinner and watch a mo-"

"I can't do this anymore," she interrupts. The words pass her lips before she can even think about what she's saying. "Not with you. I let it go too far and hooking up with you when you can't give me more than just sex is going to hurt me. We can keep being friends but the falling into bed with each other needs to stop. I can't keep hurting myself, Jamie."

A flash of hurt crosses Jamie's face. "Okay."

The decision to end it came quickly. She didn't even think about it before she told him it was over, but she needed to do it. She needs to put her heart back together and protect it. Continuing to sleep with Jamie is only going to keep her from doing that.

"I'm sorry," she whispers as she practically flees the room as soon as she's dressed.

(Y/N) gets as far away from him as she possibly can as quickly as she can. Her cheeks are soaking wet when she does get back to her own apartment.

She leans against the door when it's shut and allows herself to let out a single sob. She allows herself a single moment of weakness before she dries her own tears and makes the decision to move on.

No matter how much it hurts.

༺═──────────────═༻

It hurts a lot more than she thought it would. Moving on from Jamie seemed a lot easier than it really is. She's even been ignoring his texts because she thinks it'll help. She's been ignoring texts from Trevor as well. It doesn't help though.

She misses him.

That's probably the reason why she sits in front of her TV two nights later to watch the Ducks play the Dallas Stars. She has her legs tucked under her while she sits under a blanket and drinks a cup of coffee that she made before the game.

She scrolls through her Instagram feed as the game starts, liking a few posts here and there.

Two minutes into the first period, one of the commentators says, "The Ducks are missing young defenseman Jamie Drysdale in the lineup tonight. He was scratched last minute due to illness so he is not on the ice with his usual partner, Cam Fowler."

Her eyes flick up to the screen in front of her from her phone and she sees Jackson LaCombe skating with Cam during what would normally be Jamie's shift.

Jamie isn't on the ice.

Without realizing it, she opens her texts with Jamie and sends a message.

to jamie - 7:13 pm they said you were scratched tonight because you were sick so i wanted to make sure you aren't lying dead somewhere in dallas

The text doesn't get replied to. She guesses that it makes sense since she hasn't been replying to any of his messages. She never really expected a reply since it's been two days since they've spoken to each other and she ran out of his bedroom.

It's five minutes later when a knock rings out through the apartment. She isn't expecting company but she still throws the blankets off her lap and goes to answer the door.

It catches her very off guard when she sees Jamie standing on the other side of the door in his game day suit. That means he was going to play today, but instead he flew back to Anaheim in his suit.

"I'm not lying dead somewhere in Dallas."

"You should be in Dallas," she says in surprise. "Why aren't you on the ice right now?"

"Because after talking to some guys on the team yesterday, I realized that I made a mistake the other day when I let you walk out of my room," he tells her. She raises her eyebrows in confusion. "I talked to Cronin a few hours before the game to tell him that I needed to come back home and he told me that he'd tell the reporters that I was sick. I needed to come talk to you, (Y/N)."

She shakes her head. "You don't have to explain yourself, Jamie," she replies. "I get where you came from and I understand that you can't give me more. It's okay. I'm okay. You need to get back to Dallas so you can play tomorrow in Chicago. I'm not more important than hockey. I'll never be more important than hockey."

"You are more important than hockey," Jamie retorts. "Why do you think I got on the first flight out of Dallas? Why do you think I'm on your doorstep instead of on the ice?"

"Jamie-"

"No, you got to say what you needed to say so now it's my turn," he interrupts her. "And you're going to listen to what I have to say before you say anything else." (Y/N)'s mouth snaps shut. “I’m sorry I can’t give you more but I like the way things were. I wouldn’t be good for you and that’s why I wanted to keep things casual with us."

She blinks at him when he says that. She's surprised he's trying to fight for the deal when she told him that she couldn't do the whole friends with benefits thing anymore.

She wants more than just a few hook ups every few weeks and she doesn't want to keep doing the on and off dance they've done before.

"I can't believe you're trying to fight for this when I told you I couldn't keep sleeping with you," she says when he's done talking. "I refuse to keep hurting myself because you can't give me more. I can't believe you flew from Dallas and missed your game to tell me that. You're unbelievable, Jamie. I'm done with the deal. That's the end of it. We're friends, we're dating, or we're nothing. That's it. No more sleeping together. I think you need to think about that for a little bit."

As the door shuts, Jamie stops it with his foot. "(Y/N), please," he pleads. She stands on the other side of the door where he can't see her. She's fuming. "Please. I'm sorry, but I like the fun we were having. I liked that we were in each others lives all the time. Please."

She closes her eyes and tries not to show any emotion. "Get on a plane back to Dallas, Jamie," she tells him. "You have a game in Chicago tomorrow. I'm not going to let you miss a second game in a row."

"I love you too, okay?" Jamie blurts out. She quickly moves so she's facing him. "I love you and I'm scared that I'm going to ruin what's left of our friendship if I were to give you more than just sex. Clearly I've always ruined something because you didn't talk to me for two days."

(Y/N)'s jaw drops in surprise. He's just full of surprises tonight. "I was trying to move on," she admits to him. "I didn't think ... you love me?"

Jamie nods and looks super vulnerable after admitting his feelings for her. There are tears in his eyes when he looks at her. "I do," he replies. "I just don't think I can't give you want you want. I'd be a shit boyfriend because I'm always away or always at the rink. We also tried the whole relationship thing but it never stuck and I was tired of the back and forth."

"I've been around hockey my entire life, Jamie," she tells him. "I was in the rink every weekend as a child watching my father coach, I went to games all the time back home because all of my friends played. Hell, most of my friends here in Anaheim play, including you, Trevor and Mason. I know that you wouldn't be a shit boyfriend but you won't give it a chance. I didn't love you whenever we tried the relationship thing, but I do now. You love me. It could work. You just won't let it."

"I'm scared it won't stick and I'll have ruined everything for good," he admits.

She reaches up and cups the back of his neck. "I don't think that's possible," she tells him. "You're Jamie. You'll always find a way to stick around."

He shoots her a sad smile before she rises onto her tiptoes and softly presses her lips to his. The kiss is slow and it takes Jamie a little bit before he kisses her back.

Jamie finally touches her when he wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her off the ground. She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck so she doesn't fall. She smiles into the kiss that follows before she pulls back.

With hope running through her veins, (Y/N) asks, "Can we try again?"

"Promise you won't hold anything against me?" he asks in reply. "That I won't ruin everything if something happens and we break up?"

She runs her fingers through his hair and says, "I'd never hold anything against you. I promise."

He smiles up at her.

Behind her, the announcers say that Trevor scored a goal on a power play and Jamie looks over her shoulder. "He always has to get involved, doesn't he?" Jamie jokes.

"Well, technically he's the one that set us up in the first place so it' seems fitting that he scores a goal right after we tell each other that we love the other," she replies. Jamie looks at her. "Come on. Let's go watch the game. I'm sure that's Trevor's way of telling us to get out butts on the couch to watch the game."

Jamie laughs and lets her down. She grabs her boyfriend's hand and leads him to the couch.

Boyfriend. That's going to take some getting used to.

༺═──────────────═༻

MASTERLIST

have a request ? check out the guidelines !

[artsninspo]

Hmm, here is context to the smut XD

So basically Jamie thinks she has cheated on him while he was away in jail. Cause his friends have seen her around where he lives a lot but that was to just visit stef and Aron. So when he got out he has this really dark look jealousy/possessiveness and y/n is just all clueless and innocent that he got out and kisses him like usual but he doesn’t believe her (he’s really angry and y/n is sad that he doesn’t believe her). she never cheated she is loyal to only him. And then the smut happens, they make up and it’s all cute at the end. And he is just really possessive all around, kinda angsty/smut. You can change some stuff if you like, according to your taste 😅😋

"YOU’RE MINE"

Authors Note: Working through the requests. Sorry for the wait Anon, hope it's what you wanted. Also, why are there more GIFS for Curtis than Jamie on here?

Pairing: Jamie (Topboy) x Reader

Wordcount: 2.3K

Warnings: Smut, Minors DNI

All the hearsay has been haunting him. The whispers from his fellow inmates and people outside his crew have been getting to him too. The only thing keeping Jamie from losing his mind is the news that his brothers are fine and that his release day is in a few hours. He’s spent too much time in this cell for a crime he never committed. He should be focused on business or revenge but he’s focused on you. He’d heard your name with too many other guys, and at parties without him. He wondered how the fuck could you be enjoying yourself so much while he was in a cage. He wanted to ask his boys but knew better, they’d never tell him the truth and add to his issues. Besides, things had been low key before he went to prison for your safety. Jamie was fine with keeping it that way then, but now, it was making him paranoid. After the violation that landed him in prison he was more and more suspicious of who to trust. Let his brothers tell it you’re an angel who’s been there in his absence. But when you and Jamie started sneaking around and there were whispers then too. The similarities only made him more suspicious of these. It’d take you five months to be convinced of your safety while being with him. Quiet as it’s kept Jamie found himself falling for you. The feeling was mutual. Jamie was different. He was intense and compassionate with a different attention to detail. A loving perfectionist is what lay under the hard exterior.

…

Looking at yourself in the mirror you smile. Everything is perfect to Jamie’s liking.  You have his gifts ready, his favourite food and anything else he’ll need. A knock at the door draws you out. You smile seeing him relief washes over you as you lose yourself in the moment. Your eyes close at the scent of him. His arms are where you feel most safe. The moment lasts long but not long enough before he pulls away.

“Welcome home babe” you smile tiptoeing for a kiss but Jamie steps back.

“If I’m babe what’s this I hear about you and wastemen?” He asks, spinning your head.

“Jamie, have you lost the plot?” you ask trying to kiss him again.

“Nah, we were sneaky links. You got a next man too?” He asks and tears threaten to sting your eyes. You were beautiful to him, standing there with your hair in a messy updo and in a short pale pink negligee. He wanted you right there but the thought of another man even seeing you like this strokes his temper.

“A next man?” You repeat. “Are you accusing me of something?” you ask.

“Listen, I like you a lot but if you’re seeing other people let me know so I can pattern my moves” he sighs being the cold and calculated Jamie reserved for acquaintances.

“Pattern your moves?” You ask as he makes himself at home on the couch. He smiles seeing the gravity bong waiting for him along with other comforts. Candy for the munchies, his favourite crisps, liquor and strains of weed. “I’m not!” you shout.

“Watch your tone, yeah?” He grits. “Guys say you’ve been round the ends” he says twisting the grinder. What a prick. You find yourself thinking as he sits like a king questioning your virtue when you've been loyal.

“To look out for your brothers you idiot!” You shout. “To sleep in your room and to wear your hoodies because I missed you and your clothes smell like your cologne. To make sure the house was clean and they were getting along!” You shout. 

“Are you done shouting?” He asks, being cruel and detached.

“You keep sitting there being smug and this is only the beginning of my shouting!” You threaten and Jamie stands.

“Lower your tone,” he demands, looking down at you. 

“Why are you being like this?” You ask as a tear falls Jamie catches it before you can.

“Don’t cry, we said we’d be honest I’m being honest” he explains and you try to shove him back but he’s too strong.

“I’ve been waiting for you and this is what you do?” You cry. “Not everyone is betraying you Jamie.” You feel overwhelmed and betrayed.

“I'm sorry” He apologises, wiping your eyes again. He holds your face in his hands and your eyes well again. “I’m sorry I got it wrong luv”, he continues hating to see you cry.

“Don’t ‘luv’ me” you snap, swatting him away. 

“I don’t want any more uncertainty when it comes to us.”

“There is no us you asshole” you snap freeing your face from him. You start cleaning up the goodies on the table. The weed snacks the contraception. You’re angry enough to poke a hole in every condom to ensure you’re not drawn back in. 

It’s like Jamie reads your mind and snatches them first. His eyes are glued to your ass peeking out from the short night dress, sending heath through his body.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you cry or upset. It’s just I hear bare chat about you and it eats away at me. Thinking about the next man piping my girl. A next man stepping in when I can’t. The next man in here getting the treatment you give me. Then I’m blaming myself for not making things official, then I’m thinking I did the right thing because it was dodgy for a minute. I could’ve done serious time, can’t expect you to wait” he sighs sitting down on the couch. He looks stressed, conflicted and angry. He’s trying his best not to be possessive and protective but it’s in his nature. If the feelings were not real he would’ve undressed you already. Piped you and left but he’d always wanted you, he’d always liked you more than that.

You sit beside him.

“You should know already that I only accept the best Jamie. None of those guys with big mouths are better than you. What happened was a dirty play and I don’t hold it against you. I never slept with anyone while you were away.” You confess and his eyes close in relief. He opens his arms for you to sit on his lap but you straddle him instead. It takes him by surprise and you trace kisses up his neck and to his jawline as he adjusts you in his lap. It’s twisted but you love it when he’s vulnerable. “I missed you so much” you tell him finally at his lips. His lips find yours first. Body to body you can feel the heavy breathing. His muscles contract as he pulls you closer. The passion and desire in his dominant kiss. You find yourself lost in it as heat creeps between your legs at the sensation of him growing under you. His kiss is marking his territory and claiming you. His intensity is new and his hands slide in your néglige to feel you.

“You’re mine” He says, breaking the kiss. You look at him and see it’s more than sex talk. He’s heavy lidded and holding back. He knows he can make you say anything when he’s inside you.

“Am I?” You smile and he nods.

“I’m serious, I’m the only one that gets you like this.” He furthers and you grind slowly to peel away at his restraint.

“I’m a needy girlfriend and you’re a busy man. Are you going to be here?” You ask and his head goes back as he holds your hips. The friction is torturous. Jamie’s always made you feel free and safe to be as lustful as you want.

“I’m here aren’t I?” He asks in a register lower than normal. “Aren’t I always when you need me?” He asks almost entranced by you as he removes the silk night dress. He admires your body, his hand resting on your hip against your lace panties. “You’re beautiful” he smiles and you get his shirt off. He kisses each breast before kissing you hard.

Jamie knows he won’t last long after his stint in jail so his priority is getting you off first. He takes the lead standing and bringing you to the bedroom. Getting between your legs removes the lace underwear before kissing you intimately. Using his tongue and fingers in tandem to send you into a frenzy making you see stars. There’s no keeping your moans back as the sensation reaches a fever pitch. 

“Jamie” your tone is clipped.

“Come for me” He says, giving you goosebumps. His fingers go deeper and he sucks harder. 

“Bab-“ you can’t manage it and your eyes close as he holds your hand with his free one.

“There you go” He whispers as the first rush hits. He comes up to kiss you  as the rush of an orgasm subsides. When your vision clears he’s putting on a condom. Foreplay usually lasts longer but you have no complaints.

“I missed you so much” you whisper and you share another kiss. He rests his forehead against yours as he slides in. No toy compares to the real thing, not when it’s Jamie. His eyes watch your face contort. The pleasure is evident, you feel incredible and it’s not long before he’s struggling to last. He’s wanted to show you you’re his but his body was making it clear he’s just as much yours.

“I missed you too, missed my babygirl” he whispers, thrusting hard and slow. Your moans grow, it’s too much.

“Jamie” you call and he lowers.

“I’m right here” he kisses your shoulder. His thrusts falter and you know he’s close. Your eyes open at the same moment. You’re in sync. You feel it together, his lips find yours again. Your arms hold on as the orgasm goes through him. His breaths are as shallow as yours. He pulls out rolling onto his side. You follow suit to get closer. The silence is comfortable and you draw close until you’re skin to skin again. Jamie kisses your forehead.

“I apologise for how I treated you earlier, I just care for you and being in a cell with no control… I shouldn’t have taken it out on you” Jamie’s words make you love him even more.

“Jamie, I haven't been with anyone since we started speaking. I care for you and nobody cares for me like you do. It’s why I was always over at yours to help out. I know how much you love your brothers and I wanted to be a friend. I was with Kit sometimes but it wasn’t like that. Then I was with Si a few times when Kit was busy - they took turns making sure I got out the ends safe. I went out with them once or twice but nothing happened, I was sad and they wanted me to try and have some fun. They were looking out with for out of respect for you. The only other “man” I was with was Aaron. I got him a job. He was opening the doors for me and treating me how you would want him too. No one moved on me.” You explain calmly. Jamie had a sixth sense for bullshit and he could only see the truth in your eyes.

“There was another man,” he says calmly. “Other than Kit, Aaron and Si” he says from piecing together the descriptions.

“My brother, he’s back from business in Dubai. He helped me get the job for Aaron” you explain and he adjusts sliding back into you. It’s unexpected and it feels so good.

“Well I'm back now, so all you need to see is me” he says possessively. “The guys Aaron and your brother can piss off. You’re mine”. He says ready to go, you smile knowing the next few rounds will be rough how you like it and he’s going to last all night. Claiming you in every way possible. Yes he’s a little possessive but you love him for it. You love it when he’s overcome, when he applies pressure on your neck kissing you as he goes deep. You love it when he asks who you belong to. Love when he deprives you of his manhood pulling out so you can give him head. You love looking up at him while he watches you with pride. Seeing the need to please him in your eyes and praising you for it. You love how he can go for hours. You love how he checks in periodically to make sure you’re alright. How tender kisses are peppered in with the rushed ones. When the tender touches replace the demanding ones. The look on his face when you’ve run him dry. The aftercare he provides. You can see the love in his eyes for words that aren’t likely. You love how he keeps you close all night. His soft snores and the rare look of relaxation he has when he’s asleep.

You don’t say the words, neither does Jamie. Nor does he lay claim to things he doesn’t love. Possession and love aren’t the same thing in your world but maybe in his they are.

“I love you Y/N” He mumbles almost reading your mind as he pulls you closer in the big spoon. Having woken up sometime during your reverie of your last few rounds.

“I love you too” you respond and he chuckles.

“I know babe” he says and you turn your head back to kiss him. He meets you halfway pecking you and kissing your jaw twice. “Go to sleep” He chuckles.

“Shut up” You smile.

“Your heart’s racing” He says. You realise where his hand is, over your heart.

“It’s yours” you smile.

__________

Don't forget to let me know how you feel about this one or the new season.

Like comment reblog 💕

[puppypeter]

(Omega!Roy / Alpha!Jamie)

Aww, I'm sorry to hear about your shitty day :(( but I'm so glad my ask was a little bright spot for you!! Your responses absolutely improve my day sm too!! ✨💖💖✨

And once again, your Grandad takes are PURE PERFECTION!!! My thought for why Roy's grandad would go along with his parents plan to send him to Sunderland was a) Roy DOES love football and he IS a prodigy, and on paper it is a remarkable opportunity, and b) because of how soon grandad died after Roy left for Sunderland, I think he knew his time was almoat up. While he might not have been 'sick', he was certainly getting too old to offer the care and attention Roy needed, at least in Roy's grandad's mind. Which is why Roy initially billeting with a friend of his grandad is a stroke of genius!!! And makes the angst SOOOO much worse when Roy loses his granddad's last attempt to shelter him.

Perhaps the woman Roy was staying with was also old like Roy's grandad and had been fostering/billeting academy kids for YEARS, and since she was also pretty advanced in age, maybe her kids convince her to spend the few years she has left with her family/kids/grandkids. Maybe this decision happens after Roy's caregiver has a stroke or something and she's deemed unfit to host a child. Add to that Roy's disciplinary issues and you have a perfect storm that leads to Roy been sent to a much stricter billet.

And OH MY GOSH I didn't even properly CONSIDER the embarrassment and panic and shame Roy's presentation would bring him sexually: he has to hide his presentation anyway, but even if he COULD talk about it, who could he confide in about these strange, overwhelming new feelings/body changes?? That's a hard topic to approach even with your actual PARENTS, let alone near total strangers who only really care about how well you can play footie. (On a happier, smuttier note, this opens the door for 'Virgin'!Roy and veeeeryyyy experienced!Jamie who plans on absolutely rocking Roy's world.)

And omg YESSSSS!!!! ABO BEAUTY STANDARDS!!!!! (Maybe there's a future fic where Roy dresses up for Jamie!! While waiting to suprise him once he gets home, Roy starts feeling silly and insecure, only to have Jamie arrive and instantly flood the house so full of his aroused alpha pheromones that they quickly overpower the smell of Omega distress - and dissuade all of Roys nerves).

And YES to the grandpa diaries!!!!! I totally agree that it would be a full-circle moment for Roy. It would be SO reaffirming for Roy - who at this point is becoming more secure within his omega status, but is still plagued by self-doubt/feelings of inadequacy - to KNOW that his grandad always knew exactly who he was, and saw this core strength and goodness in him, and it was all these good things that made him suspect that Roy was an omega, when everyone else saw him as someone else,,, I'm emotional just thinking about it!!

And I agree, I ADORE the gorgeous angsty potential of trying to help someone through pain that you essentially can't do much to stop. Which is why I think Roy's heat post-locker room fight should be a shock heat brought on by an influx of pheromones/hormones. (This also gives the added angst potential of Jamie blaming himself for his Alpha posturing being the reason Roy's in pain, which is why he was so eager to help, despite their current tense relationship).

And after Jamie helps Roy ride out the pain of his first heat (cuddles/scenting/nesting/comfort only), he'd accompany Roy to a doctor because he KNOWS pain like that isn't normal, which leads to Roy being instructed to wean off his suppressants IMMEDIATELY because they're reacting badly with his new knee medication. This means Roy will be going into sporadic heats as the suppressants flush out his system, varying in intensity. The doctor HIGHLY recommends a heat partner to help him through it, and since him and Roy are already semi-bonded from Roy's shock heat, Jamie volunteers. And since Roy wants as few other people knowing about his situation as possible (meaning a heat partner service from a third party isn't an option), he reluctantly accepts. And, well, the story really writes itself from there, huh? The sexual tension between these two living under the same roof would be INSANEEEEE!!!

And omg I haven't even considered Jamie's ruts!!! I totally picture Jamie going into rut later on in his and Roys 'agreement', at a point where they're definitely VERY physically involved, but still have that little bit of emotional distance between them. Roy helping Jamie through his ruts, returning all the attentiveness that Jamie has shown him, letting Jamie 'use' his body (something Roy of the past would have seen as utterly degrading), would be a HUGE show of trust on Roy's part, and would probably be their first big step in terms of establishing their relationship not as something done for pure convenience, but as something MORE,,,

(other yet to be explored kinky shenanigans: breeding kink. If that's not your cup of tea, no worries! But I KNOW that Roy, older omega who abused suppressants literally since his presentation and whose 'biological clock' is technically past his prime anyway, would be absolutely DUMBFOUNDED by the dirty talk this young, virile alpha subjects him to, who seems FIXATED on 'pupping Roy up', 'breeding him RIGHT'. I imagine Roy would be both mortified and incredibly turned on by his partner's very serious attempts at defying biology lmao).

Thanks again for your wonderfully creative and thoughtful responses, they really mean so much to me and I'm so touched by all the effort you put into your replies!! 💖💖💖✨✨✨

Finally I am free (for the weekend lol)!! Been thinking of this ask and these two the whole day ✨✨✨

I love your take on grandad, he knew that while it would hurt both of them to be away it would hurt more for roy to be there witnessing him passing away. He probably also thought maybe he had changed things a tiny bit and he expected roy (that he was pretty sure to be an omega) and his amazing talent to help push forward for omegas being on football teams. Like he knew roy would face some adversity but hoped him being so good would allow him a place.

I think roy being unable to be well behaved at the omega woman host might perhaps play in his brain awhile after he presents, making him think he was already such a bad omega for not being able to always be well behaved and polite to someone that was opening up their home to him.

He would indeed be very closed off emotionally and not really talking about stuff with anyone, including the "embarrassing" things. And hey, I don't mind virgin roy!! Idk whether I can see Jamie being that experienced tbh, maybe his puppiness made him popular with non-traditional omega ladies who enjoy a well behaved/considerate alpha (pretty much s. 1 jamiekeeley with keeley putting him on his knees lol he is very devoted to his partners' pleasure too)

I adore (and ache) for the idea of roy dressing up and then feeling insecure about it. Jamie would like stop and stare unable to speak which makes roy even more distressed, and then suddenly jamie starts whining in almost a painful way and is completely unable to form a sentence that makes sense cause all the blood went to his dick, so it's just his aroused smell and his begging of please let me have you that convey the message.

(won't go into the diaries much but honestly that would be such a nice thing with normal roy too, to just find something of his grandpa knowing he loved him >> maybe he only washes blankie with the same lavender soap his grandad used so it smells the same!! 🥺🥺🥺)

I love the idea of Jamie feeling bad and trying to help with cuddles and scenting (god i love scenting!!) and nesting!! Ugh an alpha that knows how to nest is perfection, he 100% learned that from Simon. And roy keeps saying that pain is normal and he's used to it and jamie dragging him to the doc who assumes jamie is his partner and talks a lot about what they should do while they're both dying of embarrassment. And they go back to the car and it's all awkward, and roy of course thinks jamie would never want him like that and only cuddled him out of pity. But jamie is all like happy to help if you'd like me to? (something something fanboy jamie heart eyes roy is so special to him etc)

Would love to see them staying over at roy's but also showing up to work together and leaving together and what the team thinks of that.

(Also we've done all this with s.1 rj and i haven't fully thought trough the option of what if it were jamie joining richmond when roy is already a coach...)

(nothing to worry about re that breeding kink 😌😌😌 but somehow i pictured that as jamie trying to dirty talk that way and them ending up just lovingly bickering in bed because "what the fuck are you trying to do? you're the fucking puppy in this relationship jamie" and jamie'd be like "how do you think a dog makes more puppies mate? it don't stop me being a pup if i wanna fill you up with my own" > roy reminding him he can't get pregnant (whether bc it's not a thing in this universe for male omegas or he's past the age of or the suppressant took his ability to) > jamie insisting it's the thought that counts lmao

Something else to explore would probably also be jamie letting roy be in charge, cause at the end of the day it's about devoting himself to his omega so it's all about roy's wants/needs/desires

[rockyteriyaki]

fic writer interview

tagged by the lovely @ctimenefic to do this little questionnaire!! i’ll be including some unposted fics in this because y’all…i only have three fics on ao3 😭🫠 i'll tag @adimouze and @newbromantics to grace us with your interviews as well, if you feel so inclined :^)

this might raise more questions than it answers ultimately, but here we go!

What’s your total word count?

on ao3, 18k! so over half of it is Slacken, Tense lolll

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Razor Sharp White Teeth is my top by a good margin, and then Slacken, Tense, and then a little bandom fic i wrote on anon over the pandemic. i really only got into posting fic because of the talented folks in the f1rpf tag, so even though i have a lot of stuff written for other fandoms, none of it is on the internet

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

yes i do! i think it’s such a great way to spread positivity and i love when people respond to MY comments, so i always try to at least say thank you whenever I can :)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

both RSWT and Slacken, Tense have sort of ambiguous endings that i guess could be angsty?? moreso RSWT, i think i could see max and daniel’s relationship being sort of strained after the events of that fic. i also have a little snippet written from ausgp that involves max and scotty getting into a literal, physical fight, which (despite it being very silly in the actual fic) is still way more intense than i usually go so i’d consider that angst, kinda!

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

again, not a lot of endings to draw from, but i think the end of this galex tumblr fic was quite sweet :)

Do you write crossovers?

i haven’t yet, and i’m not sure if i would for f1 (unless someone infects me with the motogp virus perhaps?) but if i ever get back into bandom, definitely. crossovers are just about all they do over there.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

if i have, i’ve never seen it 🫣

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do! both of my f1 fics are rated e and are M/M, although i’ve written F/M/M (roy/jamie/keeley from ted lasso) and F/M (kaz/inej from six of crows, and roman/gerri from succession) before as well. but overwhelmingly it’s slash i suppose

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge! although honestly, unless it was word for word, i don’t think i would ever accuse someone of stealing a concept 😭 maybe i’m too non-confrontational but i genuinely think i would convince myself out of the idea before i would ever say or do anything about it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

someone offered to translate RSWT but they deleted their comment and i couldn’t track them down :’) anon if you see this please feel free, but i was honored that they even wanted to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not properly, but my irl bestie redscarez has let me do some heavy cheerleading on their fics So Real and Favorite Son which are both EXCELLENT and i loved being in the Gdocs for both of them.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

gosh that is HARD. maxiel and galex honestly probably make the all-time leaderboard, recency bias nonwithstanding, but there are a few others that stick out for sure. pete/patrick, in fall out boy rpf. draco/harry was sort of my intro to fandom/subject of my OG exploits on ff.net, so i feel a bit indebted to them as a pairing (not a point of pride, considering you-know-who went off her nut, but oh well). kirk/spock. weirdly, johnny/daniel from the original karate kid have my heart. there are a lot, i think i just love fandom hahahaha

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

so many. so, so many. in particular though i have this abo au where max is a stubborn alpha who doesn’t take suppressants, and daniel is a specialist brought in to regulate his hormones when he’s NOT in rut so that he won’t be as thrown off when he is. it’s basically medically necessary JOI, and in my head it’s so long i get intimidated just looking at the start of it 🫠

What are your writing strengths?

i’d like to think it would be word choice! i have some metaphors (“like a drugged dolphin” from RSWT, for example) that still pop up in my head every once in awhile. in general i just like to throw fun words and phrases at the wall when i’m writing :) i also do enjoy editing and all those boring bits which i’m grateful for hahaha

What are your writing weaknesses?

i’m sooo slowwww! i worked on Slacken, Tense for MONTHS and i still didn’t finish it until the night before the third round deadline. i just have zero writing stamina 🤧

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i am fully fluent in spanish, so i'm definitely tempted (mostly when i’m writing carlos) to add little phrases and whatnot, but i’m always worried it’ll come across as forced or hard to understand 😞 i never want it to be jarring or tokenizing in that way, so i usually refrain, but as kitty said i do think there’s a huge intimacy aspect that can be achieved with language-switching and i admire when people can pull that off smoothly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

also harry potter 🫣🥂

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i chatficced a NORTRELL fic a few days ago which sort of came out of nowhere?? but there are some absolute scholars in that tag, and since lando and i don’t always get along IRL i’ve actually been really liking it as a vehicle for characterizing him in the super-duper specific way that i have in my head. in my head it’s more of a testing ground but who knows, maybe i’ll sit down one day and actually write something out!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

i suppose it would be Razor Sharp White Teeth! i was just so blown away by the love on it and (not to be corny) it made me so appreciative of how lovely the f1rpf space is :’) engagement isn’t everything, but as someone who mostly writes for nobody’s eyes but my own, it was extremely motivating to see the kind reception and i still go back and read some of the comments on it :')))

[senseandaccountability]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @mightymizora (thank youuu)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 94. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,108,787, ahahaha. I’ve been at it for like 20 years though. 3. What fandoms do you write for? Baldur’sGate 3, Cyberpunk 2077, Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Lucifer make up the bulk of my fics but I’ve dabbled in some more fandoms.  4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

There are names for what binds us - (DAI; Blackwall/Trevelyan) The free parking jackpot rule - (Lucifer; Lucifer/Chloe) Blaze Me a Sun - (BG3; Astarion/Tav) And Hate the Idle Pleasures of These Days - (Lucifer; Michael/Ella) Kiss by Kiss I Cover Your Small Infinity - (Lucifer; Lucifer/Chloe)

5. Do you respond to comments? I always try to!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? All of my A Song of Ice and Fire fics are angsty since they’re about women who die in various horrible ways. But I’m generally more of a bittersweet writer, I think. 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Like I said, I lean towards the bittersweet and most endings are more sweet than bitter.Compared to canon outcomes I’d say my Michael fics for the Lucifer fandom are the happiest ones because you can’t give me a wretched, bitter, jealous mirror to Most Loved Boi Lucifer and not expect me to root for him in some way. 8. Do you get hate on fics? Not since my Jamie/Brienne drabbles ended up on a rabid Jamie/Cersei reclist. I also had some snippy comments/PMs on a Michael fic where I closed down Hell because Lucifer the show gave me an American Dream ending with self-improvement through therapy in Hell instead of questioning revenge as a moral solution. 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Gods, I used to. Not so much now, no. It’s just not that interesting to me anymore, I rather write around the smut. The kind of smut I like to write is emotionally intense and/or angsty, at any rate.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Very, very rarely. I’m uninterested in reading them myself but I’ve used crossover as a concept in two stories: Troy Lies in Ruins (Cyberpunk 2077) in which Johnny is the Clementine inside V’s head and I use Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind as inspiration for their post-game quest to find each other again.

The Gods That Answer After Dark (Lucifer) in which I crossover Deckerstar with the novel The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue and had a chance to shut down that damned hell again.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, someone more or less paraphrased my Johnny/V fic And your heart, as it was then, will be on fire by posting their own fic with pretty much entire paragraphs stolen from mine. I didn’t do anything about it, though, it had no comments/kudos at the time. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, it was flattering. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I don’t think so, not that I can recall. I’d be up for it, though, it would be kind of cool to co-write a romance story where two authors write two different characters. 

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I don’t think I can pick just one. 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I always intend to finish the WIPs. That said, it would require a lot of willpower to return to the oldest WIPs I have, by now. 16. What are your writing strengths? I think I’m good at concepts, characters and hopefully keeping a distinct sort of style. I used to be more pretentious. I think my writing has become better by dropping some of the most literary concepts in favour of focusing on emotions and social dynamics. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot? I think I could write plot - I like to plan stories out - but I don’t really want to dedicate time to write it. I’m also really bored by action and exposition. Ugh at having to explain and describe shit beyond a tightly packed sentence or two.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I don’t even understand this question and will blame it on English being my second language. 

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Legend of the Ice People, oh my lord. If only for my desk drawer. https://www.amazon.com/The-Legend-of-the-Ice-People-19-book-series/dp/B075TY2F5M The US version of the covers have removed ALL suggestive and thrillingly forbidden vibe from the original though. What 13 year old me loved about them was that the first book was about a horny 16 year old girl who falls in love with a 40 something demonic and cursed (also solitary and very angsty) dude after having intense sex dreams about him as Satan. Every book after that just added to the cocktail of sex, history and ancient curses and for years so much of what I wrote was fanfic versions of this series.  20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? I’m rather fond of this Aeducan/Gorim story: so I wait for you like a lonely house

I'm tagging @wanderingaldecaldo, @thievinghippo, @icescrabblerjerky and @threewhiskeylunch if you're up for it. Otherwise feel free to ignore.

[bigmanroykent]

🌧☔️ !!

🌧️Share something angsty from your WIP.

He feels the tears coming again and he rubs at his eyes. “Shit,” Roy whispers and shifts closer to sling an arm over his shoulders, holding him close. He doesn’t even know Jamie is crying over him. “This is so fucked,” Jamie says. “Yeah,” Roy says, not realising what he’s agreeing with.

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

I thought I had an idea like that but then I started writing it skjdfh so here's an incomplete wishlist that I'll never write but would love to read:

i've read 1.4 jane austen novels but. jane austen-ish AUs that are all about propriety and social norms that roy and jamie must navigate in their quest to hate each other so intensely that they can't help but fall in love

more historical AUs in general... I want knights royjamie

full on ASOIAF au. don't care what they are I just want them in that world but I don't have the brain to put them there myself

a knight's tale au

CAN YOU TELL I REALLY WANT THEM IN FANCY OUTFITS AND ARMOUR AND WIELDING SWORDS

winter soldier!jamie

[love-fireflysong]

Oh shit, um thanks for the tag @icequeen-07​. Was NOT expecting this that’s for sure lol. And sorry I answered this *just* a little late oops.

Rules: tag someone you’d like to get to know more

Last song: Nightmare - Set It Off (while a great fucking song, there is no particular reason I was listening to it lol. Was just listening to one of the spotify daily mixes and it came up)

Currently Reading: Nothing right now, which is funny cause I’ve had The Shining sitting in my work bag to read on the way to work since like September or something and I still have yet to pull it out asjdlkasjdlk

Three Ships:

Chris/Ashley, Until Dawn obviously lol. I just *adore* Best Friends to Lovers and Mutual Pining, and this couple has got it in SPADES baby! They can be fluffy, they can be angsty, they can be cringe worthy embarrassing and I love it all.  (Also gonna throw in Chris/Ashley/Josh in this number as well cause they are such a close second it isn’t even funny. It’s literally just the same points for them as well, just with less pining and a hell of a lot more chaos kjashdkjashdkjas)

Vex/Percy, Critical Role. I’ve never written for them and I don’t think I ever will, but GOD their slow burn of a romance on the show was just *chef’s kiss*. Like it took 224 HOURS of runtime till they even kissed, plus ANOTHER seven episodes (aka an additional nearly 22 hours) until they finally acted on that kiss. There’s just so much trust and love and believing in the other person more than they will ever believe in themselves that is just so, so fucking good.

Arche/Chester, Tales of Phantasia. They are truly just the snarkiest couple I’ve ever seen. The epitome of the ‘slap, slap, kiss’ dynamic, where they both intensely dislike each other at first before grudging respect that turns into flirting that is literally just them talking shit about each other. And all of this with the knowledge that once the main villain is defeated, then they both have to go back to their own time periods. And while Arche will easily live long enough to see him (and everyone else) again, she’ll still have to wait a full 100 years for it to happen.

Last Film: Oh god. Um, I *think* it was The Land Before Time? Which I watched back in like August I think? Don’t think I’ve watched another movie since lol. (Though I did try to watch An American Psycho back in October, but that never happened because that was the night I discovered that my ps4 had kicked it. I still have yet to actually watch it since ajkshdakshd)

Craving: Those Lindt chocolate bunnies. I love easter and christmas solely because those come out...and I still have yet to actually eat one this year 😭

tags <3: @queenofbaws @nick-furcillo @jamie-tiergan @fudgeroach @lionheart-giddings​ @emmamountebank​

(though no pressure obviously lol. and if anyone of the other like seven people who follow me want to do this, then go hard!)

I got tagged by @change--of--heart (thanks buddy) for a reblog game that was getting very long so I'm restarting it

Rules: tag someone you'd like to get to know more

Last song: ermmmmm I think it was Way Less Sad by AJR (their entire discography is ruling my life again)

Currently reading: i just finished The End is Always Near by Dan Carlin for our book club (book club is tomorrow and I hadn't read it yet so I listened to the audiobook at 1.5x speed and finished it in two days /_\)

Three ships: lol I'm not super invested in any fandom rn ;; but I will go with parapines (the comfort ship), poly losers (always fun), and whatever the throuple name for Izuku, Shoto, and Katsuki is 乁⁠[⁠ ⁠◕⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠◕⁠ ⁠]⁠ㄏ

Last film: ummm....... Idk actually, I don't watch movies that often >>; I think I was watching Tangled with the Softs the other day

Craving: mmm a frosty joe from Jit Joe's 🤤

I tag: @izupie @thatmalu @antisociallilbrat @youraverageauprocrastinator @sloelimbs and anyone else who'd like to give it a go (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

[littlecrabbs]

The day that I run out of #content from Outlander is the day that I collapse and die. So fucking happy there’s a lot of books. I keep getting mildly spoiled when I look in the tags and I’m like “welp, at least there’s something juicy to look forward to” LOL

(Spoilers? Idek if you’ve read the books you’re good)

One of my main praises for Outlander is just how juicy and (at times) angsty the drama is. I find John/Jamie’s relationship to be one with the most angst. Because they have such a godamn complicated relationship. Each have their own reasons to trust/not trust each other. They hurt each other. And yet at the end of the day they still have a desire to know each other and be friends at least. Reading LJG and hearing from John’s perspective of the feelings he has for Jamie is *chefs kiss*. And the ANGST of Jamie at Hellwater being like “I was going to die honorably in battle but now I’m a miserable prisoner all because of your sick desire for me. What the hell more do you want from me” ahhh that shit is intense emotions coming from Jamie. He’s deeply hurting and depressed, something you don’t really see in the show. Also I haven’t finished all the books yet so Idek technically I don’t know everything yet but this is just what I think so far. Will make updates as I go.

[thatrosewoodwriter]

𝐈'𝐌 𝐒𝐎 𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃...

☾ character/s: jamie volk, raphael wilcox

☾ warnings: angsty angst, swearing, mild japhael??

☾ word count: 775

☾ notes: i’m not dead y’all, just been writing angst because i live for it. takes place during tlp, but no events from the book itself. inspired by i’m so tired by lauv and troye sivan.

���──────────────────────────

raphael fucking hated this.

here he was, lying in bed with nothing but the warmth of his own body, accompanied by silence. even if he wasn’t physically alone, it didn’t change the fact he still felt isolated within his own friend group. they were so obviously close and he was just an onlooker.

ellie and lottie were attached at the hip, lola and micky had always had each other and now that percy was added to the equation, there was even less room for him within their little group. anastacia and saskia were too busy staring into each others eyes and binah was quite happy to sit back and observe, eyes flicking from whatever book she was reading to the group.

and then there was jamie. painfully watching ellie and lottie grow closer while he was brushed to the side like rubber shavings on a desk. he and raphael shared a situation, but there was one major difference that was glaringly obvious to anyone who payed attention.

jamie could actually cope.

he was ok with being alone because he knew he always would be. from the moment he was born, he was practically a third wheel even before he was made aware of lottie’s existence. raphael had no idea what they had between them, but he couldn’t help but want it.

he was drowning in hopelessness, mindlessly scrolling through his instagram page when photos of his friends having the time of their lives in japan surfaced. photos of his friends having the time of their lives without him. their smiles were something he’d not seen when they engaged in conversation with him for ages. 

he started to think he was the problem. maybe if he just left, they’d all be truly happy. and the more he thought about it, the more he believed it.

on the other side of the world, jamie sat on the steps of his dorm at takeshin. the wind that rustled his hair left the unfamiliar feeling of comfort. no one was awake this early in the morning. even if they knew he was up, he doubted anyone would want to join him. it seemed sleep was worth more than his presence.

he reached to fiddle with his wolf pendant, but quickly remembered he’d taken it off. he wasn’t worthy of it anymore, nor was he worthy of being friends with anyone here. he wasn’t keen on attending rosewood hall, but when he got used to it, he realised that he enjoyed it to a degree.

but now he just wanted to leave. he wanted out.

part of him wanted to forget his partizan duties and enjoy his last few years of school, but another part of him wanted to fall into a comatose state and see if people actually cared about him. see if it was worth all the effort he was putting in. see if he was worth all the effort everyone else was putting in.

he thought maybe raphael would join him for a morning jog. but he wasn’t here. jamie knew raphael didn’t feel like he particularly belonged. he noticed the gradual recluse within the group, and he couldn’t blame him. in a cluster of intense and conflicting personalities, there was no place for people like himself and raphael.

he considered taking raphael and running somewhere the gang could never find them. but he also realised that raphael had connections with other people in the school. he didn’t need jamie’s assistance. it’s not like jamie could do anything anyway. as long as he was tied to the royal family of maradova, his loyalty lay with them, not some neglected boy he met in high school.

jamie felt sympathy for raphael, missing out on the shit show that was leviathan and this hamelin formula. he also felt envious. raphael wasn’t being dragged into a problem that was bigger than him. he hadn’t bitten off more than he could chew. he wasn’t drowning in the weight of what seemed like the world. or, at least what was jamie’s world.

lottie brought him hope at first. but the deeper they got into the situation, the more he wished he’d never met her. he reached for his phone, dialling the only person he knew would understand him.

the monotone beeps that rang through his ears until they picked up reminded jamie of his loneliness, but it was soon removed when the beeps abruptly stopped.

‘hello?’

‘hey, raphael.’

‘everything ok?’

jamie debated opening up, but decided he wasn’t worth the effort. raphael probably had better things to do than listen to him talk about his never ending problems.

‘yeah, just checking in.’

[x1uizy]

woodz woops! first listen commentary

trigger is so good! i need to listen again for coherent commentary but yes!!! he did that!!! she is who buck thought she was!!!

second listen: it almost has a country inspo? it's interesting that he began and ended the album with country inspired vibes but stuck within very non country songs (with trigger being more pop/trap/rap and tide being a slow song).

also i know that it was between this song and bump bump...i really like this song but bump bump was DEFINITELY the right choice!!!! this is a very fun promoted bside but bump bump definitely feels better to me as a title.

the transition between trigger and bump bump saved my life

bump bump is making me like,,,nostalgic for my friends 😭😭😭 it's definitely that post graduation summer roadtrip song that you listen to with the windows down,,,i love her sm i wish she came out,,, you know,,,in the summer 😭😭😭

on my own...the upbeat alt teenager vibes continue. i really like this one too, if im continuing the metaphor this is the song that plays when your friends have fallen asleep in the backseat and you and the driver are the only ones awake just chilling and reflecting,,,god the vibes im so 😭😭😭

thanks to was written for his grandmother iirc? it's really sweet, i think after hearing that i expected it to be more like a ballad? but im really happy that it's more chill w/ a tropical house kinda beat. the key change was unnecessary imo but i really do like the song hhh

sweater ooo 2/5ths(?) of mola 😭😭😭 lowkey im glad that most of the ppl who were mad at jamie are gone lmfao, that was stupid as hell and im glad that it doesn't seem to have affected their bond

anyways it's very chill and their voices are really great as usual. i could see this song doing really well in sk, it has coffee shop vibes (i think its charting lowest rn though lol) its kinda low-fi too? i could see dean and luna doing a song just like this, or maybe even heize

tide - very slow but not boring at all. as a person who doesn't really like slow songs this is like. nearly my ideal slow song. like i can actually see myself putting this on a playlist and studying to it lol (simjlar to sweater, but sweater is more chill than outright slow)

overall im extremely satisfied with this album, but i had a feeling i would be! my vibes match seungyoun's 9 times out 10. woops! definitely makes my top albums playlist, i might remove tide and perhaps sweater.

for some of these songs, you can really tell that he wrote them during luizy era. the emotions are similar but the performance is more sophisticated. i appreciate that soooo much.

ranking: i think its obvious but bump bump > trigger > on my own > thanks to > sweater > tide ...so album order minus bb and trigger lol 😅

comparison to prev music:

i respect equal's creative drive and i do love it a lot, but woops! definitely fits my vibes better. so ranking them together:

bump bump > trigger > on my own > lift up > waikiki ≥ love me harder > noid > accident ≥ thanks to > sweater > tide > buck > memories

i cant really rank different, pool, how have you been, baby ride, etc because they feel like a very different seungyoun tbh. like i love those songs a lot and wouldnt call them worse than his new stuff, but even like. equipment quality and editing quality differences are clear to me (esp with the luizy stuff) so idek hoe to put them together with the "refined" seungyoun lol. but if anyone cares my ranking of those songs is hhyb > different > baby ride > pool and idr the rest off of the top of my head. anyways back to equal:

love me harder is my 14th most listened to song, followed by lift up at 25, waikiki & noid at 60 & 61 and accident is 73 (kinda funny how the order is off from my ranking but i mightve streamed lmh idr). i definitely think bb, trigger, and omo will make the list, idk if they'll unseat all of equal with a month and a half left in the year but. they definitely could bc i like them sm.

also, continuing the earlier thought about luizy vibes/sy growing up as an artist: i really like equal but it definitely seemed like angsty seungyoun. not that that can't express that (in fact im glad he does) but i find equal to be a very intense album with very little breaks. it almost makes me wish that woops! was a repack of equal, because i feel like they balance eachother very well. equal felt like "meaningless" seungyoun, refined but still angsty? whereas woops! feels like him on the road to healing, it's very nice :) (note: this is purely based on vibes, not lyrics btw lol)

if anyone else has thoughts feel free to reply or whatever, i love talking about this stuff!

[theawkwardterrier]

mediocre-mee replied to your ask: So when did you start watching Outlander? :D

I...don't know that I would go so far as to call myself a fan. 😬I watched it (with my parents, unfortunately), but I'm not on the hype train. Like, it's fine, but I don't LOVE it. But maybe you can convince me otherwise!

I mean, def Curate Your Own Media Experience so if it's not your thing, it's not your thing, but I've fully fallen in love mostly because of the main ship. Sometimes there are shows where a ship is part of or supplementary to my enjoyment but I would watch without (e.g. Leverage) but this is definitely one where it's featured extremely heavily in my mind.

Which is so funny, because at the end of the first episode I literally said aloud to myself, "oh no, I'm going to be the only one who doesn't buy into the whole business and instead thinks she should be with the sensible, boring guy!" because I'm pretty strongly pragmatic. But I'd forgotten that I can be extremely into Romance too, and Jamie/Claire are some extreme Romance. Soulmates, belong together, "in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds​, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you," that whole business.

So, yes, absolutely, the show has other stuff to offer, history and Scotland and costumes and politics, but the thing I'm most here for is two intense people who are each others' Ones and just want to be with each other and surround themselves with the family they've built. (Oh, there's also a lot of great if angsty family dynamics that I'm here for.) Plus some steamy scenes that are prob less awkward/more skippable if you're watching by yourself instead of with your parents, oh my GOD, G.

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hey, i've seen all the prompts for the conjuring fic and every prompt had this angsty energy. Like, Dani doesn't open up or let Jamie take care of her in any of those prompts and keeps distancing herself everytime . Have you figured out a particular scene of when Dani finally surrenders herself in that vulnerable state. I know it's too soon and unfair of me to ask about something which is wayy ahead in the story and i don't want you to give away anything.

These prompts are breaking my heart seeing them like that (But i love them,lol) i just wanted to know if you've received any prompts or do you have any ideas of what that particular moment is going to be when Dani finally gives in. Like Dani being totally scared, horrified and exhausted enough from all the things that've been happening to her, to finally surrender.

I don't have an exact moment yet where Dani is going to fully open up to her because that will be quite far into it, but she is gonna start with small things when Jamie really notices some stuff about Dani changing and at first she is just gonna ask Jamie how she feels in the house and about the house because she is gonna keep seeing and hearing things and wants to know if it's just her to Jamie too, so at first she is gonna be really distant but as time goes on she is gonna start small with opening up to her and as bigger and more intense things start happening with the ghosts Dani is gonna open up more because she's gonna feel like she has to and Jamie is gonna start asking more questions and not give in until Dani does tell her a little more information Honestly I love all these prompts they're all so good and I am so thankful people are sending them to me and trusting me with these ideas!!

[t100ficrecsblog]

an interview with @ravenreyes-0g (she/hers)

what are you working on right now? I'm working on both my Bellarke fic for BLM and a personal fantasy story that I've written and rewritten from the beginning to about 5000000 times because my ideas keep changing. My Bellarke fic is a modern day COVID AU that is also the longest I've ever done so it's been taking a minute to finish! :) 

what’s something you’d like to write one day? A YA either historical fiction or realistic fiction LGBTQ+ romance. I have  a ton of ideas for plots, but I haven’t quite gotten the chance to sit down and try to plot them out. For historical fiction, I’m very interested in the 1900-1950s era, especially the Roaring 20s and WWI/II so I’d most likely set it there! I’m all in for the angsty romance, but I'd definitely want to end it on a happy note (unlike my current fantasy work) and I’m really looking forward to getting the chance to write a character driven story that doesn’t focus so much on heavy plot elements - something I can’t do as much in a fantasy setting!

what is the fanwork you’re most proud of? This one is actually pretty hard considering how my writing style has developed since I started writing fanfics. But if I had to choose, I’d probably say my FirstPrince (Alex/Henry from Red, White, and Royal Blue) fic on Ao3 called To Love Another Is to Cherish Life Itself. The title is a bit dramatic but basically it is an angsty/fluffy one-shot that I wrote really late one night and did minimal edits to before posting. It definitely feels like the most in character and honest fic I’ve ever done, and it broke my heart to write about some of the darker stuff, but in the end I’m pretty proud of it! 

why did you first start writing fic? Well, I’ve been writing fanfics since I was probably 10 or 11 years old (I had PJO phase that spanned close to a decade and I’m still not totally over it 😂) but I started publishing work on Wattpad literally the night I turned 13. That was actually my first Bellarke/the 100 fic! It started out as my predictions for season 5 and then evolved into a fix-it fic for everything I didn’t like about the season. I’ve abandoned it for almost two years, but I’m slowly coming back to it so...slow updates y’all :)

what frustrates you most about fic writing? Everything! Just kidding - I love fic writing! But if I had to choose, probably two main things tho. 1) Creating a plot for a long term fic - I’m sooooo bad at it because I always feel like I’m writing too much in line with the actual show/book/movie and it feels like copying. 2) Making sure that I stay honest to the character I’m writing about. I have a huge tendency to write my fics (ESPECIALLY my one-shots) from the POV of the character who was not the main character in the original thing (like my POV for my RWRB fic is Henry, the love interest of Alex/other main character). This means that the only look inside their head that we’ve gotten has been through the eyes of the main character - which can obviously be biased. I try to stay as honest as I can to my interpretation of the character drawn directly from the text - but sometimes that means that I can’t include scenes that I want to because it feels off/out of character and that’s always disappointing. (also dialogue is just...something I really need to work on)

what are your top five songs right now? Ahhh see it changes on my day/mood but right now it’s probably

1. The Last Great American Dynasty - Taylor Swift 2. The Garden - Dua Lipa 3. Mirrorball - Taylor Swift 4. Icarus - Emma Blackery 5. Betty - Taylor Swift 

(taylor really blessed us with folklore...I’m in love)

what are your inspirations? Ahhh - there are many. First and foremost, The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. It’s my favorite book for so many reasons, but it teaches me so much about writing and character development. Also Liesel and Rudy melt my heart every time. I also love all the songs listed above for inspiration, and I listen to I Get To Love You by Ruelle (it’s the Malec wedding song for any Shadowhuners fans out there!) whenever I write a really emotionally intense romantic scene. If you’re looking for amazing fic recs, I highly recommend all of HMS-Chill’s works (multi fandoms), clarkesbell, and DracoWillHearAboutThis on Ao3. Though not all of them write Bellarke/the 100, if you are in any of their fic fandoms, I highly recommend checking them out because they are fantastic writers!

what first attracted you to Bellarke? what attracts you now? Honestly? #1 - their development. I love enemies to lovers with my whole heart, but I honestly didn’t see Bellarke as romantic until the 2x05 hug where I was just hit with a wave of OMG THEY BELONG TOGETHER!!! Seriously, though, the fact that they go from enemies, to grudging allies, to co-leaders, to partners, to friends, to best friends, to soulmates just makes my heart go !!!! - Also they have insane chemistry, and that certainly doesn’t hurt. What attracts me to them now is much the same, but also how much they care about each other. They’d go to the ends of the earth to save one another, and it just blows me away how powerful their screen time is, even when their scenes together have become so rare. I also don’t thinkI’m ever getting over 6x10. I swear my heart actually stopped beating when I watched it live the first time. 

BESIDES Bellarke, what character or pairing do you like best on t100? Ha! Umm, I actually really like Murven, both platonically and romantically. Their journey might not be as well developed as Bellarke’s but it is still a powerful one hinging on love and forgiveness. I love how Lindsey/Richard play off of each other on screen - it’s such a joy to watch! I’ve also loved the Octavia/Indra dynamic, but it’s kinda been tabled in recent seasons which is sad :(

why did you decide to start writing for bellarkefic-for-blm? Two reasons - 1) I wanted to do everything I could for BLM and it was so amazing that I could do that, and write works for my favorite show! 2) I was super curious about the prompts people would send in. My work right now is a modern day AU COVID fic where Bellamy and Clarke have to share a room together in an overcrowded hospital until one day Clarke disappears. It’s so different than what I usually write - bc I almost always write canon compliant/in universe fics - so it’s a nice challenge!

what’s your writing process like? Honestly it depends. For long/multi-chapter fics I try to plan out as much of it as I can, characters, plot, important moments, etc - even though I am not very good at planning. But for one-shots I tend to go off of emotion or feelings. Usually when I write one-shots, it’s because a particular line or moment in a book/movie/show really spoke out to me, and spurred this idea in my head. I always start with the line I want to get to at the heart of the fic and then write around it from there. I am definitely much more of a panster than a planner- which is why one-shots work much better for me!

what are some things you’d like to recommend? 1. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. Also, All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven, The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston, The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz. 2. Musicals! They can be amazing inspiration - my favorites are Les Mis, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Six, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, Hadestown, Anastasia, Island Song, Newsies, & Tuck Everlasting! 3. TV Shows besides The 100 - Anne with an E, Shadowhunters (just pretend you haven’t read the books), French SKAM, Love Victor, HSMTMTS, Merlin, Lucifer, I think I’m just listing fandoms at this point 😂

Also, almost any Taylor Swift, Troye Sivan, Conan Gray, Dua Lipa, Emma Blackery or Harry Styles songs are amazing!

My handle is the same for everything - Twitter, Tumblr, Ao3, Wattpad (if anyone still uses that anymore), etc (RavenReyes0G). I also run a book review blog on Instagram which is @betweenthepagesandtea, so feel free to check that out too! Request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm!