itsthisorcluedojohn

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

they call me an undercover agent. the way i’m. under the covers :) cozy in bed :)

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

this is not my beautiful circus..these are not my beautiful monkeys

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

"Stuck in the timeloop as a punishment" is cool and all, but stuck in the timeloop voluntarily though? Oh, brother. Stuck in the timeloop cause you just can't move on. Stuck in the timeloop even if you know that it's not real and whatever should've happen already did. Stuck in the timeloop even if doesn't makes you happy. You just can't bear the thought of not being able to see them ever again. Stuck in the timeloop even if you know you should move on. Stuck in the timeloop even if you know they would want you to move on.

But maybe just a little while longer.

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

do u have a vibrator in ur pants or is ur penis just so scared

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

Time transfixed via Rene Magritte

Size: 146x97 cm Medium: oil, canvas

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

the white house is such a stupid name. if i were president the first thing i would do is call it the pussy pavilion. the second thing i would do is unleash the bugs of the night

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

It's about absurdist existentialism, the vampires are the boulder you gotta roll up the hill

Trying to explain that Buffy The Vampire Slayer isn’t about vampires is difficult to get across.

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

obviously the out-of-universe explanation for why jesse's name is never mentioned again after "the harvest" is that (a) while joss was tickled by the idea of immediately killing off a character he had set up to appear important, he had no desire to make a show with the dynamic of 'the hero and her two friends who are in mourning and traumatized over the death of their third friend who the hero failed to save', and also (b) the writers forgot he existed. but in-universe, given how many times it would have made sense and been in character for xander and/or willow to bring him up (such as in wacky stories from their childhood, or times when they are throwing buffy's failures in her face), i am forced to conclude that the reason jesse is never mentioned again is because neither of them actually liked him very much. he was just unpopular because he is unpleasant and so they let him hang out with them because they were unpopular too. but secretly they were kind of a bit relieved when he died because, well, he sucked and they didn't like him. and i'm sure they felt guilty about being relieved. but that didn't change the fact that they were. which is why neither of them ever mentions him again and never will

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

*sees someone transform themselves into a monstrous and ungodly mixture of flesh and machine*

I love bodily autonomy!

*sees that a girl with cute curls straightened her hair*

But there have to be limits!!!

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

can I stay in bed until 2025

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

imagine if instead of it being called a sip it was as called a suck. can I have a suck of water? 🤨

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

remember when israel bombed a hospital fourteen months ago they said that they would never do anything like that only to bomb every single hospital in gaza and then target schools and refugee camps and kindergartens and un shelters?

remember how everyone was angry when al shifa hospital was bombed? why are we all silent now when israel is bombing kamal adwan hospital in gaza? where is that anger now? why aren't the events taking place in north gaza on the forefront of your mind?

while we are going about our days, there are multiple massacres taking place in gaza. we are living in comfort while our tax money is being used to bomb children.

are we becoming desensitised to genocide? desensitised to the cruelty the occupation inflicts on gaza every second of every day?

earlier in the genocide, we all came together to help palestinians evacuate. we would do our best to help. now we've simply started tuning out fundraisers. is this what we've come to? ignoring people who are going through a genocide?

i just want people to come together and help my friend alaa. she has two children and needs to feed them and ensure that they're warm in this cruel winter. donate to her fundraiser if you have the means to, share if you can't donate.

donate here || verification

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

You ship Sam and Evan for the tenderness, I ship Sam and Evan because the idea of celebrity talk show host Sam Britain introducing her boyfriend Evan Kelmp to a bunch of British celebrities is so fucking funny to me. Evan Kelmp standing next to Sam on the red carpet and getting a microphone shoved in his face and saying something so unhinged that it overshadows the whole Emmys. Evan Kelmp charged with aggravated assault after being startled on date night by a papparazzo. Tabloid headlines reading "Sam Britain stands by her man after brutal attack on The Sun photographer." Do you see the vision.

[itsthisorcluedojohn]

i can't believe we just watched sam have an italicized 'oh' moment in real time.