#and in my defense i DID study i was just taking a lil break :3
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studying? sorry, you mean attempting to quickly draw my blorbos with the limited onenote tools?
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roxygenstudiesagain · 2 years ago
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100 days of productivity (12/100) 12/30/22
2023 is so close and oddly foreboding. I worked more yesterday doing comms but today still had its productivity spurts
Content warning: prescription medication n me being generally unhinged but that’s normal
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Bad news- I blew up at a professor (not in her face just sent a strongly worded complaint to the head of her subject) over just generally feeling antagonized all semester and it reaching a boiling point over not being given the ability to redo a quiz I got 0 when it counted a lot and was not my fault. I think studyblr would empathize with my anger
But equally i was immature and a bad moment and full disclosure I have spent the last 3 days since looking into anger management to avoid it again. Totally a trauma response but no excuse to be mean to someone who’s going through a lot. But it’s brought out this entitled mean version of me to compensate for feeling defensive and it makes me miss my therapist because he’s so good at dealing with that version of me
Been reading a lot, some educational nsfw titles (otherwise I’d post a screen cap of what I’m reading) bc i want to kind connect with my body in an academic understanding but also learning about untaught insight into the human condition. Idk I’ve always desired an academic relationship with erotica as much as i admit to my own consumption.
Maybe I’ll write an essay lol
I actually larped as him giving me advice all this which was what pushed me to take it easy and self medicate on klonopin just to breeze past it. It helped. I hope my new therapist comes fast to fill the void
It may seem cowardly to many of you but my strategy to cope for now was to block all email conversations n threads with her since the class is over, avoid her classes like the plague and keep taking anxiety meds (I’ve been having to take a klonopin to take the edge off every day since it happened, hoping to take a break from it tomorrow to save it for pmdd). Might look at it eventually but rn I’m just not emotionally there and don’t have the support system in case scrapping with faculty hurts me even further
Yesterday i played ukulele and i made 2 songs and a game plan for getting my stuff out there for next year. Might look into something to study to help me figure it all out
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Today:
Big reorganization n list update for all art projects for next year
Got closer in starting a volunteer gig I’m getting into
I usually hate going in and fixing stuff when I’ve called it done but I actually snuck on sbpro and did some last minute edits to boards
Put a new story seq in folio
Cleaned house, vented, hoovered, laundry n dishes and even the air con. Dusted yesterday
Went out to get new years food
Did my eyebrows and a lil face mask
Cleared some cupboards and made spade
To do
Drive drive drive God I’m so tired of procrastinating on it
Keep looking for gigs on LinkedIn
Prep for new part time gig
Await reply from new client
Message storyboard prof to beg for school copy of sbpro
Cut hair out at least tidy it
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ruminate88 · 3 months ago
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High Stress Cortisol??
08/16/24
Aside from the dopamine hits, the stress my ex Andrew brought me was frustrating and hurtful… All I wanted was to spend time. I felt I loved him so much but he was bread crumbing me and yet he loved the attention I gave him too. College was his main focus and excuse every time he ignored me…
Whenever he couldn’t spend time with me it was, “Oh I have to study.”, “Oh I have a meeting”, “oh im mentoring freshman at the library.” Or he was at the frat house and claimed how stressed out and tired he was… I noticed he partied A LOT. He would send me selfies from the frat house but yet he was always sitting by himself…. Weird. He never included any of his bros or his lil bro. 😝
and I just felt like he kept me soooo secretive!! It was hurtful cuz I was trying to incorporate him into my life. I tried so hard!!
When it was time for him to take his finals, WOW. He was a monster 🤪 All he talked about was “I’m gonna fail” and “I have to study or I’m gonna fail.” I would say the most encouraging things I could think to say to this man and he would not receive it and make me feel like becuase I wasn’t in college, that I did not understand him….
Also, I would be trying to send him loving messages and spend time but he would cry, “I have to focus!!” SOOOOO, I would get upset and disappointed and say to him, “If you’re too stressed, I don’t wanna cause you more stress. We can take a break and you can focus on your finals.” I OFFERED HIM SPACE despite my disappointment and frustration and he would cry, “You’re making it worse!!!” Wow…. I told him, “I’m trying so hard to help you!!” Ugh 😣
NOTHING helped that man. He was purposely making feel bad. He was purposely saying hurtful things and he wanted to upset me but wanted the attention.
WAS he really upset cuz he was afraid to fail his exams or was he upset cuz he’s got a new girl and hes hiding me from her?? Idk…. But he would get defensive that he didn’t wanna breakup and promise me he was just stressed about his finals and homework. Okay but, I would offer him space and he would say, “It’s ok… you can text me I’m just really busy.”
He was always busy 😭😭😭 and I told him over and over AND OVER he’s too busy for our relationship that he should just focus on school. I meant that out of true love for him. Even though I didn’t wanna break up, I didn’t wanna be selfish but that man is VERY selfish. The way he held me hostage in that relationship!!
Even when I found proof that he cheated on me and confronted him, he denied it, blames me for “catfishing him” and STILL makes excuses not to break up. Talks circles around me…. The day we were on the phone for 3 hours straight trying to break up but he won’t and my stomach was shaking and I was on the verge of a breakdown. I KNEW he didn’t love me but I was so confused why he would not end it with me 😭😭😭😭 he even asked for more time to think it all over 💔💔💔
Ultimately I had to end it with him but he had NO EMOTIONAL RESPONSE!! 😞😞😞 It literally felt like even though I said “it’s over” he was the one who made it real. He asked me to still be friends with him 🥴🥴 I said okay but I was stunned at his lack of emotion. It SUCKED for me and made NO SENSE at the time. (I understand more now) He ultimately stopped responding to my text and I spent the rest of the night locked in my bathroom with my fan on, crying and shaking so hard!!!!!! That boy shattered my heart.
Gosh the way he kept gaslighting me and making me crushed. I wanted him!!! I wanted to love him so wholeheartedly but it just wasn’t possible with him ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 sad but it’s life. I’ve been accepting that every day since I blocked his number. 😭😭😭💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 one day at a time I’m getting over him and healing the wounds. It’s been a long and difficult journey but I do see light at the end of this ❤️‍🩹 I still care about what happens to him but I’ll never trust him again and I know I can’t ever let him back in cuz he’ll only continue to crush me. 😭❤️‍🩹
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gojology · 4 years ago
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Intense Healing Session.
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the request :
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pairing : caring! healer! fem! reader x gojo satoru hehhehe warnings : cursing, implications of seggs after sum intense kissing, pet names wordcount : 2.0k a/n : yoyo i’m back!! semi-long one for u all. cute request, anon. sorry for late delivery. pls dont rate me a 1/5 on yelp </3 hehe the title is kinda funny LOL
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     You’re beginning to hate Satoru.        Surprisingly, it’s not for the reasons people dislike him- he’s a bit of a blabbermouth, never quite learned how to seal his lips just because of how important he was to the jujutsu world. Unsurprisingly, he gets away with everything because he’s attractive and crucial to defeating curses, and there’s no shame in admitting it.       People hate Satoru for his destructive personality, he’s carefree and doesn’t let anything get to him. This may be a good trait for the untrained eye, but look carefully and you’ll see just how hectic he gets. It’s manageable since you don’t have to deal with him at the level of the Jujutsu elders.       You don’t particularly hate him for this, though.       It’s the fact he puts you through so much work, for almost no reason. You’re a healer- something very important to the quaint school that you worked at. Healing abilities are often overlooked, it’s often said that if a jujutsu sorcerer can’t provide offense, then they’re not much of a jujutsu sorcerer. Unfortunately, you have little to no talent in the battlefield, so essentially you’re a meat shield to everyone.      It was a growing occurrence to see him after every business trip, slightly roughed up but not enough to kill him. He comes into the room you share alongside Shoko, almost always when she’s not there, takes his shirt off, and displays a wide variety of cuts and bruises on his back like he’s a museum. You’d scold him, asking him how he’d get such abrasions with his infinity up constantly- but Satoru would hum, unanswering while you’re working your hands on his back.      Maybe you’re overreacting- but something tells you he does this on purpose, perhaps to fuck with you, and you’re bitter about it.     So it wasn’t surprising to see him whistle a sweet tune, hands shoved deep into his uniform pockets, casually strolling into the medical attention room for the fifth time this month.    “Gojo Satoru.” you say his full name aloud, just so he knows how much you hate his presence. Turning to look at you, his face displays innocent shock, but you just know that he’s probably rolling around in the inside seeing how riled up you got just by him stepping into the room.     Drained, lifeless eyes stare back at his childish bright ones.     Gojo places a hand on his chest defensively, “Well, I’ll be, Y/N. When did you want to disrespect your senior?” he snickers before shutting the door behind him. “You mad?”      “Unbearably. Lucky I care for you.” you utter back, venom dripping in your words, you feel like you’re making a fool of yourself as you shove your lunch aside that you had been enjoying on the tiny table next to you, sighing and rubbing your temples, tugging and effectively straightening your coat. “Get on the bed, let me work my magic.”     Looking at you with a shit-eating grin, he whistles, placing his elbows against the mattress, his roughened hands caressing his cheeks. “Working your magic? I’m interested. Tell me more, Y/N. Does this involve... Getting naked, perhaps?”     Staggering, you give him a dirty glare, “Satoru! I’ve been working my ass off like every week to get you all healed up, and you dare be perverted in my-”     “No cursing, lil girl! You wouldn’t want this rubbing off on Yuuji-kun and everyone else, would you? You’d be charged with a felony!” leaving you stunned for a second time- the first time being when his lanky figure strode into the room like it was his room- you don’t even know how to respond. How could one possibly be so... Ungrateful for your work?  Well, then again the elders existed... That was besides the point, though. You’re not even sure if Yuuji knows what the word fuck or shit is.     He drags his finger lazily along the cot, drawing various shapes into existence, giving you a skeptical look. “Not gonna answer? Stumped?”     He broke through your train of thought, and you shake your head. “Satoru, I don’t know any sort of fighting jujutsu, but I will fucking pulverize you and make sure you’ll be dust by the time I’m done with y-”     Butting in, he raises his hand as a way to shut you up. “Honeybun, you’re an amazing jujutsu sorcerer, but I hope you realize why they call me the strongest of all time. If you haven’t noticed, it’s because I have a constant shield. The closest you can get to doing that is maybe poking me.”     Giving him a snooty face, you’re frankly about to push him out of the room with sheer willpower and hatred alone. It seems he realizes this, a moment of adoration flickering across his eyes before finally neutralizing. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop playing with you. You’re so cute when I do though, like a little... Rabid raccoon! How can I not resist?”     It’s difficult to tell if that’s a compliment or an insult, with Satoru, it could be several things. But, you’re still slightly flattered, knowing him he’d go out of his way to lengthen his insult if it was one- just another reason why you hated him. Being called a rabid raccoon was definitely not on Satoru’s top 10 utterly offensive insults.       “Shut up, Satoru. Here, take off your shirt, what did you get yourself into this time?”       He obliges with a nasty grin on his handsome features, hastily yanking off his uniform. Underneath was a very meticulously trained body, toned muscles and all. You can’t help but to also catch a glimpse of his collarbones, which were so defined it looked like it could cut your butter for your morning pancakes. You gulp, blinking, you had forgotten just how well-shaped he was in the one week you hadn’t seen him.       “No need to stare, sweetums.” he chirps, realizing your darkening cheeks. “Feed my ego any more and I’ll probably burst and my organs will decorate your walls. You can donate my body to the local college, they’ll be surprised by how top-notch they are.”       Giving him another stern, but much more sheepish gaze, he snaps his mouth shut, but a triumphant smile replaced his grin in place.      “Please, no gruesome detailing. I’d much rather my cute kitten posters.” you motion to a white cat slumbering peacefully in a basket.      “Looks just like you.” he says.      You close your eyes and pretend he’s not there, choosing to ignore yet another one of his compliments, but your heart thumps faster in your heaving chest. Heaven knows how curious your hands could get if you could see where you were touching-      “Those are my abs, Y/N. I think we’re focusing on my back.” he muses aloud in an almost teasing tone. You can already imagine how obnoxious his face is, opening your eyes hesitantly, blinking to adjust to the bright room lights. Your hands are still hovering above his abs, his gaze is upon yours, looking at you with a mix of speculation and speechlessness. Instead of his unusual smug smirk, there’s an almost coy expression on his features, which shocked you.        “How’d your hands get there? Last time I checked, abs are at the front, not the back, hmmm?”        You grit your teeth, your face flush with warmth at your sudden realization. There was no cheeky retort you could’ve possibly come up with, after all, he was right, how did your hands wander to his abs? You weren’t thinking of doing it. You weren’t interested in him either, but he was attractive. Of course you’d be too curious for your own good.. Yes, that was it..       “Your hands are still on an inappropriate place, Y/N. Except, a lil lower than last time.” he chuckles wholesomely as you jerk up, straightening yourself and clearly sweating, your arm wiping your brow and exhaling a drawn-out and awfully dramatic sigh.       “Give me a break, Satoru. I just, um, you know... Zone out.” your pitch was unconvincing, high-pitched and wavering, bringing your chances of believability to a low.      “So, this is like, the 375th time since you’ve zoned out, lil girl.” he tsks, “You’ve gotta sound convincing if you wanna fuckin lie, you know.”      “I--” you falter, now clearly a shade darker than you were just 5 minutes ago. Your heart beating so rapidly it was almost like you were running a marathon. Why was your pulse so quick? Why was everything in the room a blur besides him? Why couldn’t you focus on healing him? What was he doing to you?      “You haven’t even begun the healing process.” he murmurs, his large hands caressing your arm that was by your side. “Anything you want to tell me, pumpkin? I’m on a tight ass schedule, but I’ll let Ijichi solve that. Spit it out.”       His voice rang out high and clear amongst the hectic fight that was going inside your head, steadying your thoughts. A few moments pass by, studying him, lips moving but no words coming out. Why was it so difficult to say through the insults, you cared for him, and wanted him to be more careful? Was it because of the monster inside of you, who wanted him to get hurt, to spend his time with you, listen to his horrible compliments and giggle at the jokes he made as you worked at a snail’s pace on his back, that weren’t even funny, but was funny because of his presence in the dead room, his boyish laugh very much needed in such days of flatness?      “Satoru..” you finally muster out, his eyes flickering on you once more as he was studying the kitten poster with much boredom. “I just.. Care for you.”      “Huh.” is all he says, face falling and examining the spotless floor. “Is that all?”      Acknowledging his body language, you huff, suddenly filled with the need to defend yourself. “What else did you want me to say? I just feel like you’ve gotten yourself hurt a lot more recently and... I just, want you to be more careful. That’s all.”     “No.” he was barely audible, so you had to lean down to hear him. “No, that’s not it at all. You’re hiding something. Do you prefer me to say it?”     Puzzled, you peer at him with childlike curiosity gleaming in your eyes. What did he know about you that you didn’t? Surely, you knew all about yourself?    “You’re not that fucking dumb, are you?”     “Huh?-” you begin to speak, clearly offended, but you’re stopped.     By none other than his lips.      They’re soft, pillow-like even. A familiar warmth floods inside of you at the sudden physical contact from Satoru, except it’s amplified by 10 times. A moan slips out of your mouth, his hand against your back so suddenly you could’ve sworn it wasn’t there just a millisecond ago. His lips were mashing against yours, as if he wanted to have done this a long time ago. You hungrily push back, teasing your mouth with his tongue that slipped just barely into your mouth before indulging in you, which you thought wouldn’t had ever happened prior to this.      You grip the back of his head firmly, as if he were to escape, other hand tangled in his snow white tufts of hair. Eyelashes fluttering, heavy breathes fanning out both of your noses, your lips were sure to be swollen after this. Your tongues dueling each other, working your mouth against his. His unoccupied hands start to play with the hem of your shirt, and another moan slips out of your mouth, anxious to have progressed so far to the removal of clothing, but at this point, you’re ready for anything.    ‧₊˚✩彡.       “I don’t think Gojo-Senpai and Y/N-Senpai are just in an intense healing session.” breathed Yuuji with a terrified look in his eyes, clutching his arm that was bloodied up, his head leaned close to the firmly shut door.        Nobara looked like she was about to faint, looking at the door as if it was a several feet tall monstrosity of a curse.        “What? What are they doing in there?” Megumi knelt down to where Yuuji was, pushing his ear against the door, and immediately his eyes shot open, a traumatized look in his fearful eyes.        “What the fuck.” 
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thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years ago
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hello!💙💙i hope im not bothering you but may i get a tsukasa or mitsuba x reader where their s/o loves to draw but never lets them see and one day they steal their s/o sketchbook and dont see any drawings of them and the boys are a lil dissapointed but their s/o has a secret sketcbook that they always keep with them filled with the boys portraits?? it would be rlly cute!!(feel free to ignore tho!)💙💜
tsukasa yugi x gn!reader, mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader
a/n: no worries, you aren’t bothering me at all!! This is a super cute prompt, so thank you so much for requesting! (i love writing mitsuba too,,, just gotta love the sharp-tongued, short-tempered characters <3)
warnings:
word count: 1,471
Tsukasa Yugi <3
He thinks the fact that you can draw is super cool!! Probably more so than you do, to be completely honest- he’s extremely enthusiastic about it, but that also means he’s extremely annoying about it.
Lots of “let me look, let me look!!” “I wanna seeeeeeee,” “(Y/N), pleaaaaseee, what’re you drawinggggg?”
“Tsukasa, I love you, I love you very much. But, I promise you, if you don’t shut up and let me draw in peace-”
“:((“
So, of course, if you don’t let him see it, our gremlin of a boy is going to look through it one way or another. Pestering you relentlessly didn’t work, trying to slip it casually into a conversation didn’t work, so! You leave him no option!
One day, when you’re minding your business in class, Tsukasa checks your locker. Maybe, just maybe, you left it in there?
Hmm… empty- next stop!! Bookbag!
His eyes practically lit up, his expression excited, practically screaming “found it!!”
Tsukasa would open the sketchbook, silently wondering what on earth you could have drawn. His only experience in art was… well- with things that weren’t intended for art. It wasn’t ever proper “art” either. Just a lot of smearing. But anyway-
A part of him sort of hoped it would be something with him. Maybe even a little doodle, it didn’t have to be a fully colored, lined, amazing piece. Just little doodles, cos you loved him so much, and he infested your mind like the little parasite he is… y’know….
So, as he flipped through the pages, admiring your style- amazed with every little doodle, every little pencil marking, every little detail- he kept an eye out for anything that could have even vaguely resembled him. Yet, once he reached the end, he was rather certain that there was nothing. Tsukasa felt a bit disappointed, pouting despite the fact that you weren’t there to see it.
“Tell me how I knew you were up to something,” You sighed, looking at the boy seated next to your bookbag, the last pages of your sketchbook flipped open. He ignored the comment, placing your sketchbook to the side, then hugging you. You returned the hug, giving him a confused glance.
“What? It’s nothing incredible, but was it that bad-? I don’t even know everything that’s in that, so-”
“You didn’t draw me :(((“
“You didn’t ask me to???”
Still, you couldn’t help but laugh, well aware of the other sketchbook you had stored in the more secure part of your bookbag. Patting his back, then letting go of the hug, you bent down and grabbed your sketchbook and bag. Replacing the sketchbook he had flipped through, you then reached in and grabbed the other.
Somewhat embarrassed, yet know he already found out about your artistic abilities and would probably be glad to see himself, you handed him the sketchbook. “I’ll have you know, I’m not exactly overjoyed with you right now. But, since you’re a sneak, I’ll let you look at that one.”
Tsukasa opened the sketchbook with renewed energy, excited to see what was inside it. Was it him?! Did he actually infest your mind?!! Was he a good model??
Uncharacteristically, his face was slightly warm as he looked over the first page. It started off with a fully finished drawing of him- a very strong start, if he did say so himself. Not only was it him, it was awesome.
He flipped through the rest of the pages, happiness and excitement practically radiating off of him. You could have sworn you saw his eyes sparkling.
“THAT’S SO COOL, (Y/N)!!” Tsukasa would yell after shutting the sketchbook, throwing his arms around you happily, making sure that the sketchbook didn’t get damaged as he did so. “You did draw me! You drew a lot of me!!”
“Ahah- yeah. You’re… cute, after all. Why wouldn’t I draw my boyfriend?”
Mitsuba Sousuke <3
Nosey little dude, but on a more casual level than Tsukasa.
“I’ve shown you my pictures, so you should show me your drawings.”
“That makes sense,”
“So, show me.”
“Nope!”
“(Y/N)-”
Though amusing, Mitsuba will start to pout after a while. “Tch- it’s not like I wanted to see it anyway. It’s probably lame.”
“Awesome then! That doesn’t make me want to show you any more than I previously did~!”
Insert Mitsuba sticking his tongue out at you-
Still, Mitsuba does understand where you’re coming from. After all, he never shows you pictures he’s taken of you. Therefore! It’s only logical that you wanted to draw his cute face!! He muttered this, crossing his arms, yet pretending that it was no big deal to him. Nope, those little comments and attempted glances were nothing-
“Mmh? You’re cute, yes.”
“That’s not what I- whatever, pervert. It’s clear now. You don’t want to show me, ‘cos there’s raunchy art in there! Pervert! Creepy, you’re so creepy-”
“Then aren’t you a pervy creep for wanting to look in my sketchbook?”
“I-”
Mitsuba may have not talked to you for the rest of the day- but it’s fiiiine, he’s fiiiiiiine.
Especially since, by the end of the next day, Mitsuba passed your locker, planning on returning to the class from a bathroom break. As he glanced over at your locker, not fully shut because of your bookbag shoved into it, an idea crossed his mind. It wouldn’t take long… a little peak wouldn’t hurt. Just to make sure his s/o wasn’t a pervert, of course! Not out of personal interest!
So, he grabbed your bag, rummaging through it until he found a well-used sketchbook. His interest peaked, as he grabbed it, opening it up and flipping through the pages.
Some of the pieces were similar to pictures he had given to you, but he didn’t spot anything of him. Sure, your art was impressive, and he was rather content finally getting to see it, but-
But where was his cute face?? Not even his name??? No dreamy “(Y/N) Sousuke” written? Nothing.
Well, it’s not like he cared anywa-
“Really, Mitsuba? You needed to use the bathroom?”
“AH-” He yelped, shutting your sketchbook, as if that would make it seem like he wasn’t just flipping through the pages in slight awe. “Shut up, pervert! I went to the bathroom, I just- you were being suspicious.”
“By drawing?”
“YEs.”
You laughed lightly, though embarrassed as you took the sketchbook from him, putting it back into your bookbag. To be completely honest, your heart was beating a bit faster, slightly nervous that he found your art ugly. It wasn’t anything in comparison to his pictures, you thought..
And, when you turned around and caught a glimpse of his slightly disappointed face, your heart beat even faster. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” He said, somewhat defensively- well, that much was normal.
“Sorry, it’s probably disappointing- I know my art isn’t the greatest, but it’s definitely improved over time. There are things I need to study, but-”
“Hey, don’t assume I’m upset with your art, dummy. It’s…” He blushed slightly, looking away from you and shoving his hands in his pockets, “it’s really cool. I’m impressed.”
“Then why are you pouting?”
“I’m not pouting.”
You raised your eyebrows, making Mitsuba flush further, opening his mouth as he thought of what to say in response to that expression. “I just- well, you were weird about it, so I figured there was something about me- something weird or suspicious. But, it’s all perfectly normal.”
It took a moment for you to get behind his words- but, after getting behind Mitsuba’s extremely indirect way of saying things, you understood what he meant. He wanted you to draw him. After processing that, you bit your lip, wondering if you should actually show him your other sketchbook… a glimpse at his slight pout, though it was now confusion at your conflicted expression, you turned around, rummaging through your bookbag.
Then, you pulled out another sketchbook, and pushed it against his chest. “Since you’re so insistent. Just go ahead and look through it, I guess.”
It was Mitsuba’s turn to raise his eyebrows, as he took the sketchbook, and opened it up. His face burned, as he flipped through the pages. They were… filled with him. It genuinely made his heart pound, looking at the array of doodles, line art, and fully finished pieces- occasionally, a small heart or smiley face would be doodled alongside them. If he didn’t find your art incredible before, he definitely did now. Of course, he’d never admit it to your face, but his expression was enough for you to understand.
“A-ah… gross- idiot. Of course, I should have known a pervert like you would draw such a cute face. It’s obvious.”
“Right, right. Honestly, just give me a penny each time you call me a pervert, I’ll be rich in no time-”
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luvdsc · 3 years ago
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Hi Cat (i hope it's okie if i call you Cat 👉🏻����🏻)! I hope you're doing well! :3 It's Tam once again w some updates UwU
I had a discussion w my supervisor last week and submitted my draft for the Ethics Review Board (ERB) to my supervisor last week soooo yay!! 🥳 just waiting for her to review the draft before we officially submit it to the ERB, I'm hoping it's all good and that there aren't major issues ToT
Aside from that it was free & easy last week after having experienced hell month * - * hehe also I'm going for my vaccination tmr!! (First dose) AHHHH but it's a day before my finals for economic psychology so let's hope it proceeds well too ToT
I left some replies under the previous post but I'll also summarise here keke:
Huhu honestly I doubt I would've had a topic had I not read August :/ my back up topics were either not feasible cuz of complicated measurements or it had too lil studies 😭 ngl i panicked a lil cuz what if I couldn't come up w topic in time ? 🥺😭 I'd face penalties and it'd rly slow down my thesis process huhu so I'm glad this topic was born ToT super ultra grateful 🥺💖😭
This study is pretty novel as there's no prior research has linked these 2 variables together so it's a big gap in itself! I'll have to conduct surgery and piece past literature tgt to create a big narrative in this research topic, so yup there are studies to back me up just needs a lil extra work, innovation and ice cream 😙 it's def more fruitful than my other backup topic that literally, just had 1 study in existence though, I aborted ship immediately ._.
The current sem I'm in is a short sem! Huhu that's why things have been a lil more hectic and crazy, esp w thesis :/ doesn't help that our batch got 2 of the heaviest subjects tgt in a short semester + everything was due tgt towards the end of the sem too (2-3 weeks ago) so it was draining :( but I'm glad we got over this phase and now I'll just have to sit for 1 final paper and I'm done w sem 2! :3
My oral defense went smoothly too! Super glad i didn't have to defend myself too much * lowers gun of defenses * it was more on clarifying the direction of my theoretical framework (TF), my co-marker advised me to ensure clarity & coherence when I actually write my paper and my supervisor's comments were just on seeking further clarification for the scoring of the scale and my theoretical framework! Yays to this hehe UwU
Also IT'S A MUST TO INCLUDE YOU IN THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 🥺 you've inspired me through yr writing and 10k words in one sitting? THAT'S MY THESIS RIGHT THERE :O
Thankiew for yr kind words and showing so much love and support in my thesis journey!! 🥺💖😫 this motivates me to WORK HARD AND GET THAT HD (a distinction (D) is fine too 🥺) for my thesis huhu 🥺😭
hi, honey bee !!!! 💕 i'm so sorry about the delayed response, i wasn't able to see my later messages in my inbox on the app since it only shows the first ten or so for some reason ?? and yes, it's absolutely okay to call me cat, lovebug! 🌸 i'm doing good, and i hope you're doing good and enjoying your weekend 💘
i saw your most recent message and omg big congrats that your supervisor approved and you got to send it off to the ERB, sweetpea !!!!! 🥳🥳💟 i'm so proud of you :')
alkfhdalkjsd i hope these past few weeks have been kinder to you!! how was the first dose? did you experience any symptoms? have you gotten the second dose already? and omg how did your econ psych final go? :o
i'm so sorry, i didn't see your replies, honey bee 😭 i think it might've gotten lost in my notifications especially since i went mia for a couple weeks 😅
oh goodness, then i'm so so glad that you were able to come up with a topic after reading august, lovebug 🥺💖 what were your back up topics if you don't mind me asking? and i feel that tho 😭 i didn't know what i wanted to do for my final art pieces and panicked a bit because i needed to submit my ideas for it too 🤧
omg that sounds like so much work, but also researching is so much fun when it's for a topic you actually enjoy?? plus, psychology studies are so interesting to read !! i love reading up on those sm 💕 how has the research been going for you? (also, what's your favorite ice cream flavor? 👀) and i'm glad to hear that there's more studies to back it up compared to your previous topic omg only 1 study...... rip
wait what's a short sem? :o i thought most semesters are like aug - dec and then jan - may? oh god, this makes me suddenly grateful that i'm no longer in college because i remember the grind that happens in the last few weeks when everything is due 😭 i'm glad to hear that it's over for you now though !!
omg i'm so happy to hear that your oral defense went well too!!! this is so interesting to hear all about your thesis process, like i never had to do this, and it's so cool to learn about what other majors do :o
PLS IT IS AN HONOR THAT YOU WOULD INCLUDE ME IN YOUR ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, THANK YOU SO SO MUCH 😭😭💖 this is my greatest accomplishment ever🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️
and omg of course, honey bee !!!! i'll be your biggest cheerleader like i'm so so excited to hear about your thesis and everything, and thank you for letting me be a part of your thesis journey 🥺🥺 YOU WILL GET THE HD 😤 I BELIEVE IN YOU !!!! i'm so proud of you for working so hard and doing so well 💜 but also pls make sure to take breaks and have some time for yourself too !! self care is important !! 🌷🌷
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lionwriters-blog · 4 years ago
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The knight and the two elves ch.1
It was a normal day in the guild of Lockcraft city with a few requests. A group of a dwarf mage, a human martial artist, a werelion knight, and a lizardman paladin approached the desk of the quest handler. The paladin looks at the quest handler, putting his hand on the table "Do you have any new requests?" the quest handler pulls a scroll and looks at the paladin "Yes, it's from a chief of noble house requesting a very rare and two the kind tropical octopuses in a tropical island" the mage raises her eyebrow "That a month's of travel" the knight interrupted "As long as the payment is high and covers the travel costs, it doesn't matter" the quest handler opens the scroll and reads it "It says the reward is 3 gold bags for each party member" the group look at each other and look back at the quest handler "We will take it" as they said in unison. After a while, the adventurers' group arrive at the seaport and get on a ship heading to the tropical island. The Knight sits down, putting his sword and shield beside him "We better rest. It will be a long way" the rest of the group rest after the ship moved from the port
Meanwhile at the Tropical island
Two figures running among the trees chasing one another finally reaching the ruins of an old civilization long forgotten. Lucy the tall strong built dark elf yells at the flying octopus "Slow down we don’t want to disturb the barrier power surge" she huffs. The octopus swirls around in the air not caring much, floating towards the direction of a somewhat stable looking stone house with a waterwheel. Lucy follows the octopus inside to find her mother still asleep "Come on mom wake up it’s only a month till the blue moon rises" Lucy shakes the light pink hair elf awake. The light pink elf groans and rolls on her other side "MMm Lucy 5 more minutes please" she grumbles, not being a morning person.
Lucy drags her mother out of bed. Groaning Danny chucks a weak throw of a pillow at Lucy "Child you’re asking to be turned into a frog" she moans. Lucy pulls Danny to her feet looking down at her "Mooooom the blue moon is a month away we gotta prepare for it, think of all the magic you can get from it, it only happens every 50 years” she screams and shakes Danny’s shoulders. Danny growls "Okay, I hear you. Get the boxes ready. I'll get ready with the capturing spells." She lazily walks to the old ruins of a library to study.
After a month
Danny uses her magic to levitate all the books she needed for the harvesting of the magic from the blue moon, setting up circles and containers for them "Lucy is everything in place?" she asked, turning to Lucy at the end of the yard. "Yeah, the sun is only setting in 8 hours geez relax mom we got plenty of time to get everything" Lucy scoffs walking over to Danny with the last of the boxes. "I know but I got this feeling something Isn’t right" she mumbles frowning at the 7 different books floating around her.
Meanwhile somewhere near Lucy and Danny's location. The Knight and the paladin cut the vines with their weapons to clear the way for them and their group. The mage looks at the moon to see it is blue "Oh, it's that time of year" the martial artist looks at the mage and then at the moon "What is this blue moon, mage?" The mage looks at the martial artist "It's a moon that appears every 50 years. The elves used it to gather magic before they were extinct" the martial artist looks at the mage again "What happened to the elves?" The mage takes a book from her bag and flips some pages to the ones she looking for "It says that a war broke among their houses that led to a large scale massacre-" She feels a type of magic that her ancestors some spoke of "I feel unusual magic coming from the way ahead of us" the Knight and the paladin looks at the mage "How unusual?" The mage looks at the Knight and the paladin "My parents told me about how elf magic feels from what my ancestors' tales" the knight looks ahead and wonders if they are stepping into elven territory.
Danny feels a bit uneasy but starts the incantation for harvesting the moon’s magic "Lucy please stay close to me" she whispers raising her hands in front of her as light blue magic comes down from the sky and into the boxes. Lucy comes closer, resting her hand on Danny's shoulder. "Don’t worry, mom. I’m here and it’s just us on the island. Just focus on the harvest. Besides, the barrier will alert us if anything happens " Danny calms smiling at Lucy nodding and focusing on the moon. Lucy sits on a nearby rock and watches her mom and petting their pet octopus.
The adventurers' group arrives at what seems to be a ruined town. The Knight steps into the town unaware of its security system and looks around "Fan out and search the area. If you find something, send a signal" the others nod and split apart to cover more ground. Danny drops her books looking worried at Lucy "something wrong. something came through the barrier" Lucy nods and heads to a worn-down defense tower. Danny seals the boxes levitating them away running to where the sensor went off.
The Knight puts his sword in his scabbard and walks around the ruined town in search of the tropical octopus "These buildings weren't touched for thousands of years" he looks at the building designs while keeping his shield and guard up. The mage was heading to the library to read about this island's history "Hopefully, there will be records of which race of elves lived here on this island" She walks around the library's shelves, looking for some kind of record book for the elf history.
Danny runs to the library where the barrier’s signal came to her "Please just be some random animal she thought". Much to her despair, she saw the mage walking into the library. "Oh no." she thought as she climbed on top of the roof casting an illusion spell summoning a huge squid monster to chase away the mage. The mage felt the same magic as before and went outside of the library only to see a huge squid monster "What the hell!!" She casts a fireball spell on the monster and goes inside one of the buildings nearby.
Danny manipulates the squid to follow inside chasing after the mage "Please work" she thought as she ran on top of the roof staying out of sight, towards the town. The knight saw the fireball and knew there was trouble. He puts his shield on his back and climbs one of the buildings to see what is happening.
Danny runs after the mage jumping to the next rooftop hoping that the darkness would keep her hidden and jumping off to the tall church roof using the squid to lunch itself at the mage. The mage cast a barrier spell in front squid to block its attack. the paladin and the martial artist arrive to help their mage. The knight sees the mage's barrier is near a church and runs to the church. Danny uses her magic to shove the squid forward for one final blow before she creates a smoke tornado from the squid's mouth to launch them into the nearby river. Danny falls to her knees panting exhausted as she sees the mage and paladin scrambling in the river "I hope that scared them off" she thought.
Sadly for Danny, the martial artist has ducked away and looks around to see the squid has disappeared "Where the squid go?" He didn't ponder on it for long and went to help the paladin and mage. The knight climbs the church and stands behind her. Danny gets up and shakes a lil and looks at the group down at the river seeing if they are going to leave. "I hope Lucy is safe," she says, holding her hands in front of her chest.
The clicking of the knight's boots alerts Danny as he walks to her "So, you are the one who gave us trouble" He looks at her with his hands up Danny swings around almost tripping over the edge catching herself and staring at the knight she was shocked to see there are more people “How did you find this place" she asks holding out her hands in case she needed to escape. The knight stops and crosses his arms "We accepted a request to find rare tropical octopuses on this island. We are only here to take the octopuses and leave." He keeps an eye on the elf in front of him in case she makes a risky move.
Danny steps back to the ledge "They are scarce species here and sacred to the elves. The outside world isn't supposed to know about them" she hopes to make a break for Lucy to get to a safe distance. The knight sighs and takes his shield from his back "Well, we aren't leaving without those octopuses whether you like it or not." He walks towards her
Danny frowns and looks at him, realizing she is out powered. She jumps off the building into the darkness casting a shadow spell on herself as she runs in the direction of Lucy and their home. The knight runs to the edge and looks down, "That elf woman had more balls than I thought" He jumps down and looks at the ground for footprints.
Danny runs up to Lucy exhausted "We have to go" she clings to Lucy trying to catch her breath. Lucy looks frantically and helps her mother sit on a chair. "What happened?" Danny has panic washing over her "I think they are here for me" Lucy screeches "You mean your horns, mom? But how did they find out?!?" Danny looks at Lucy "I don’t know, there is a knight who said they’re here for the octopuses but I think they are lying" she pants
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[Next]
Danny and Lucy belong to @danny-z-art
The knight and the adventurers belong to @lionwriters-blog
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brattywriters-anonymous · 6 years ago
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House Party 3
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Erik's POV
Ibiza, Spain
Agroturismo Atzaró, Ibiza
Transcript from Inga: Parker sent over the assignment. Target: Eliaz Cruz Age: Thirty-two. Contract: Open Compensation: ten million our intelligence told us he'll be at Club O Beach Ibiza in the third bungalow on the right end. Got it 
"It's almost 8, maybe we should head out before he gets too fucked up and leaves." Mirah was putting on her skirt, "How do I look?" I almost dropped my nine millimeter on the floor. This girl looks good, damn if we had the time, I'd..
"Hey! Earth to Stevens!" "Oh, you look good. So you bringing a knife to this gun fight?" She nodded as she stashed the blade in her bikini top. "I'm old school like that." I laugh at her, "So... This is it for you?" She pointed around my figure I held my hands out, "What? What's wrong with what I got on?" She scoffed and giggled, "Its not much is what's wrong!" "It's a pool party! What am I supposed to wear?" "At least throw on a shirt, nigga! How are you supposed to conceal your piece?" I found a compression tee I packed for my morning runs and put it on, "Better?" She took a deep sigh, "Better."
--
Mirah's POV
We left our villa to walk over to the McLaren 570GT that Inga rented us for the week."I'm driving!" I rushed over to the drivers side of the sports car. He trailed me over to the same side and shook his head, "No. You're not." I whined. "C'mon! You drove all day! And on our last mission! And on the way here! And whe--" "Okay! Okay! Damn girl! You whine too damn much!" He tossed me the key. "Yay!" I grinned and unlocked the doors.
I pressed the start button and Inga's voice blared through the speakers, "Hey team!" We vastly interjected, "We are not a team!" she chuckled, "I know! I just like saying it to get you two roweled up. Anywho, Club O Beach is about thirty-two minutes away. I sent the route to the GPS. Erik, please mind the speed limits! We can't afford anymore tickets on your license." "Actually, Inga, I am driving to our destination tonight!" She gasped, "Oh! Okay! Well, Mirah. Safe travels, buckle up, and I hope you have a safe mission." "Thank you!" As I traveled through the PM-804, we chose to travel in silence. "So....."
"Soooo..." Erik mirrored my attempt of breaking the ice."Can we talk about something? Thirty minutes is a long time to not speak." "I mean If you want to. I guess." "I do. So, tell me about you Stevens." "There's not much to tell." I sucked my teeth, "Why are you being so short with me? I'm sure we're gonna be doing more jobs together so you might as well let that shit go." I felt his eyes burning through my profile. "What you wanna know, MiMi?" "How old are you?" "Thirty-Three." "Okay. I'm Thirty. Where you from?" "A little bit of everywhere." "Everywhere like where?" He sighed hard, "I was born and raised in Oakland, Went to the Navy. I was stationed mostly in Korea until I joined the SEALS. Then I was in D.C. for three years. After I discharged, I went to Massachusetts for school. Spent six years there. After school I spent time in Harlem." "Damn, so you really from--" "A little bit of everywhere." "So which place felt like home?" I blinked in his direction, he shook his head, "None of em." "Oh..kay. Well, I'm from Miami. Born and raised. I moved to LA when I was nineteen, spent some time in film school. I wanted to become a director and screenwriter. Then I had to go back home to handle family shit." "Family shit, huh? What's that?" So he's gonna start posing questions now? Cute. "My momma lost her job and cost of living in Miami ain't no bitch. She was raised on what I like to call, Miami girl mentality." "What's the Miami girl mentality?" "Find a man with a bag. Keep that man with a bag. Boss up, and if he not keeping you, get with the next man..with a bag." 
"Tuh. Alright. What that got to do witchu MiMi?" "She kept tryna convince me to start stripping, escorting, or at least bar tending. I told her I just wanted to make films. She kept saying that's not where the money is right now, and we need money at the moment. So, I bar tended at a strip club for a year. Gave my momma half of my checks plus most of my tips for rent and she was always complaining that it wasn't enough. One night, a guy came in. He knew I was struggling and offered to help me. Under one condition." "You had to--" "Train. Sloan threw me full force into the assassin life. Gun ranges, cutlery training, chemicals, mercenary combat..all of it." "So, where's your mom now?" "I completed my first mission five years ago. I took my first commission and bought her a loft right on Ocean Drive. Paid the bills up a couple years and told her to leave me alone. She was hindering my growth. My goals. I had to separate myself. For that and the fact of my job could take away any family or loved ones I cared about at any given moment." He took my left hand. "I get it." "So what about you? You got any family?" "Yeah. My moms and pops died when I was young, I got cousins and an aunt though. They don't live in the states." "So is that why none of the places you lived back there feel like home?" He nods, "Yeah. My home is where they are." "Where is that?" We looked at each other for a moment.
Turn right on to S Rafe Joan Castello/PMV 812-2
I followed the GPS' directions. "So, where did you go to school?" "MIT." He shrugged it off like it was nothing. "Daaaammmn. You fine and you smart?" He laughed, "You think I'm fine, cutie?" Damn. I said that out loud. "Uhh.. I mean...You are attractive." I removed my hand from his to rub the back of my neck in nervousness. "Thanks. You not too bad yourself." I blush at his mediocre compliment. "So what you study?" "Business Administration. Then I went back for my Doctorate." "So, you're actually Dr. Stevens?" "Yup." "You get your Doctorate in business?" "Nah. Engeneering." Damn..he really is smart. "That's cool. So why don't you use your degrees?" "Who says I don't?" I clutched my pearls, "Ah! Ahkay! So we're multifaceted, are we?" I glared over at him, he sunk down in his seat and grinned, "We are." "That's wassup. This assassin life can be draining." "So you still film?" "Meh. Here and there. When I'm feeling it. You married? Got any little Eriks running around?" "Huh? Hell no! No wife. No lil nigglets. You got a man? Lil nigglets?" I burst out in laughter, "No. I am not married nor courted. And I do not have any little pokemon running around." He nudged me a little, "As fine as you are, why?" "I haven't been looking honestly. I never thought anybody would understand what I do or why I do it." 
"Why do you you kill, Miss Mirah?" "Dr. Stevens, I only do kills that are for the greater good. I'm not out here killing children, nor men or women that don't deserve it. The money is more than good. Which helps me gather my filming and writing equipment, pay for my expensive ass place, and my mom's." "That's plausible. I've been killing since I was fifteen. My first kill was strictly self defense. I was helping a woman, a man was beating on her in an ally back in Oakland. I was walking to my group home when I heard her scream for help. He was trying to...rape her. I saw the gun in his hand and I went for it. We were wrestling over it and I elbowed him in the gut. He dropped it and before I knew it I had it in my hand and PAA! I see his face all the time. Even during some of my other kills. I didn't kill again after that until I enlisted. All the countries I visited after, I had to kill to protect my brothers and sisters on the line with me. After that, I joined in a mercenary faction. We killed for the money. Every body I caught during that time was purely for the money. It didn't matter to me who was right, who was wrong. That's when I met Sloan. We were in the same faction. We never ran around in the same subgroups but after I left that life behind, he became my first associate." "So that's how you know each other.." "Mhm." "So why do you kill now?" He took a pregnant pause, which made me look back over at him, then he answered, "I kill now because it's necessary. Every hit now has either planned to take us or our client down. I can't have either if I want a steady cash flow rolling in. But after this one, I'm taking some time out. Spend some needed time with my family." I smiled, "That's great." "So, what you gon do witcho ten?" "Uhh.. I'm gonna buy my loft. Probably travel. Write and film more. I could finish a project just in time for the Sundance deadline." "Cool. Cool."
Continue on Es Novells, your destination will be straight ahead in 2.1 Kilometers
"If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?" Erik completely threw me off with that question. But I already knew the answer, "Africa. I don't know which country, but I've always wanted to go back where my ancestors came from." As I put the car in park, I looked back in his direction and he was already looking at me. "What?" "Nothing. I just don't hear many people say that answer." "Wouldn't you want to?" "Actually, that's--"
"Okay, love birds, it's showtime!" Inga's voice paraded through the speakers again.
--
Erik's POV
The pool's blue and purple lighting set the entire club area's mood, the up tempo Spanish music filled the space. And so did the crowd. It was so many tourists and party goers. Mirah and I both turned on our communicators, Sloan decided that he would take the lead, associating on this mission. I was incredibly reluctant to do it, but Mirah says she trusts him with her life. I agreed to disagree. "Alright Mirah, Erik. The less attention placed on yourselves, the better. Enjoy the festivities for a while. When Mr. Cruz gets back to his bungalow, I'll let you know."I held my hand out to her, "You do dance, right?" She looked at it and walked out to the dance floor, still mean. I trailed her as she began swaying to the beat. That sheer shit she got on was doing her ass all the justice I needed to see. I moved along with her, grabbed her hand, she spun around. I looked down at her face, she was taking in her surroundings. I almost forgot the mission. This is the second mission she's thrown me off of. I knew this partner thing was gonna be distracting. I looked over to my right to see our target and our intelligence, a blonde named Arin. She was his plus one for the night and she's been entertaining him with all of the drinks and drugs he could handle."Hola! You guys look so cute! You here on vacation?" a woman, probably in her early twenties, was standing to our side. I skewed my head. I don't talk to anyone I don't know. I definitely don't talk to anyone I don't know, outside the country. Mirah stepped between us, "Yeah. We are. We're--" "Newlyweds. On our honeymoon." I interjected, wrapping my arms around MiMi. "Ahh! Well, congratulations! We should toast to that!" She motioned for a waiter, he brought us champagne. "Salud!" The woman said as she gulped down her drink, looking directly at us. We followed suit, looking at each other. "I'm Teresa by the way!" Mirah took her hand as they danced together. "Mr. Stevens! No need to be a prude! She's just a girl trying to party!" Sloan's British accent came through my communicator, "You checked her out?" "Yes. Teresa Mendez, twenty two years old, exchange student from Madrid. She's a regular at the club. There's nothing to be alarmed about." I just danced alone while peeping the scene, looking for our target. He was in the pool with Arin. Her and I locked eyes for a couple seconds and she said something to Eliaz while pointing at the bungalow. I quickly stepped between the two women, "Honey! I need to borrow you for a moment!" Mirah rolled her eyes and told Teresa she'll be back. "What's up?" I turned her around and held her close to me, her head peaking above my shoulder so she could see what I was witnessing. "He's about to make his way over to the spot. Arin is gonna leave him alone, we slide in and close the curtains." She nodded, leaned back and looked me in the eyes. She looked focused, she looked ready. "Alright gang, he is going to his section! Get ready to close in." I took MiMi's hand and lead her to our destination. She pulled down my shirt, my gun was showing. I peered over my shoulder and grinned, "Now who's tryna look at who's booty?" She laughed and tapped my backside, "I never said I don't look!" I stopped, turned around and pulled MiMi really close to me, "Alright we're gonna act like a drunk couple and stumble into the bungalow. Got it?" She gave a slight nod, "Got it."
--
Mirah's POV
Erik cupped my ass and I immediately felt the heat radiating between us. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned in to seal the deal. Once our lips touched, I let a moan slip out. Damn, his lips are really soft. I pulled away from him with a puzzled look on my face, not because I didn't know what we were doing, it was because I didn't know if we were acting or not. He grinned at me and closed our gap again. This kiss was more aggressive than the last as he walked backwards. I was trailing his movements until we fell into place. I grabbed his face and added tongue, he grinned against my lips and placed a slap on my left cheek. Which made me open my eyes to realize I needed to close the curtains. I grabbed both strings holding the two cloths open.
"What the hell are you two doing?" We heard a thick Spanish accent. We slowly broke our kiss, I stared at Erik, down at my bikini top then back at him as I reached behind him. He got the clue, he cupped my breast then reached beneath it to grab my concealed blade. "You two need to leave. NOW." 
Eliaz stood up with is phone in is hand. I pulled out Erik's nine millimeter and aimed it right at his head, "I don't think that's such a good idea, Eliaz!" "Nah. I don't either. I suggest you give that to me and take a seat."
"QUICKLY! THERE'S AN UNIDENTIFIED BOGEY. HE IS RUSHING TOWARD THE BUNGALOW...FOUR SECONDS!" Erik handed me the silencer, I quickly screwed it on and cocked the gun back. Erik looked over at Eliaz, put his finger over his lip, signaling for our target to remain quiet."THERE'S ANOTHER RUSHING TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE. BE PREPARED TO TAKE THEM OUT.", Sloan warned. I reached into my clutch to give Erik my emergency .22. He grabbed it and the first bogey swept the curtain back. I pulled him in and shot him close range in his heart. He fell. Erik caught the one on the right, we heard guests screaming and scrambling. We looked at each other, pointed our weapons at Eliaz, shot him five times. I shot two, Erik, three. We booked it out of the club and blended in with the terrorized party-goers.
--
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ultraspideysense-blog · 7 years ago
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Surprises (Tom Holland Imagine)
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request: “Do you think you can write a tom holland x reader where they are dating and she surprises him on set in his trailer...” (requested by anon)
short summary: ^^^with a funny lil twist lmao
length: 1.4k words
warnings: i didnt label this as smut bc it’s not inherently smutty and i didn’t rlly  write any legit smut in here, this is mostly fluffy shits.
A/N: i didn’t put the whole request above bc i didn’t wanna spoil the whole thing but the anon knows who they are hope u like it bud kinda short but eh also sorry i suck at titles
“Thanks Harrison,” you smiled gratefully as he led you into Tom’s trailer on set.
“Of course, Tom’s been whining about how much he’s been missing you so I’m sure he’ll be pretty excited for this surprise,” Harrison replied shaking his head. His phone buzzed with a notification. “I’ve gotta go, but Tom should have a break in around 20 minutes if I remember correctly.”
“Cool, I’ll just chill in here I guess,” you said, taking a seat on the couch in the corner. He then bid you goodbye, leaving you on your own. Your curiosity got the better of you as you started to inspect his trailer. And it was loaded with a ton of cool shit.
Damn, you thought to yourself as you opened up the fully stocked mini fridge in the corner and took out some Fiji water. You know they aren’t playing around when they’ve got a mini fridge full of Fiji water.
After poking and prodding with a few more items in Tom’s trailer, you settled yourself back the couch. Checking your watch, it was just about time for his break. Instead of just staying seated and acting nonchalant for when he came in, you decided to hide behind the couch and freak him out a bit.
Just as you’d put yourself in a position where you’d be able to pounce, the door to the trailer opened. Taking a risky peek above the head of the couch, you see your boyfriend all decked out in his Spider-Man suit from head to toe, minus the mask. You’d never actually seen him in the full outfit in person and it took everything in you not to geek out at how real and amazing it looked, especially on him.
Ducking back down before he noticed you looking, you waited. You heard him take a seat on the couch, tapping away on his phone. Slowly rising up from behind the couch, you rested your head on the top next to his. After waiting a few seconds, he still hadn’t taken note of another presence.
“Whatcha doing there pal?” you asked coolly with a teasing smile on your face.
Tom’s head immediately whipped to the side, knocking your head in the process, as he let out a surprised yelp. You groaned a bit, rubbing the side of your head.
“Y/N? Holy shit, what are you doing here?” Tom exclaimed excitedly, jumping out of his seat.
“Apparently trying to get a concussion,” you grumbled as you stood up. Tom reached out his arms to steady you a bit as you got up from the ground.
“Sorry about that,” he apologized, scratching the back of his neck. You took a few more moments to adjust yourself and you felt fine, so you just gave him a smile in return.
“Harrison kept complaining that you were complaining about how much you missed me, so I decided to come out here for a few days,” you explained. “That, and I kind of really missed you too.”
Your boyfriend pulled you into a hug. “I’m really glad you’re here,” he mumbled into your hair. You hummed against his chest in response, trying to memorize every aspect of his body. His strong grip, his slight scent of the woods.
“Remind me to never go this long without seeing you again,” you said quietly as you held him a bit tighter. Between Tom’s shooting for Spider-Man: Homecoming and your commitments to university, you two hadn’t been together in almost a month.
He pulled away from the embrace, his hands sliding down to hold you by your hips. “Deal, darling,” he replied with a cheeky grin on his face.
“Okay, I have actually never seen you in the suit in person, and this is actually pretty badass,” you said as he released you to playfully do a pirouette. “Now I kind of want to get myself one of these.”
“Trust me you, don’t,” Tom laughed. You cocked your head quizzically.
“I mean it’s really cool, don’t get me wrong, but it takes a village and about 45 minutes to get this thing on completely. And it is tight in places where it should not be tight,” he said, shuddering a little bit.
“I still want my own suit,” you replied stubbornly. “It can’t be that bad.”
Rolling his eyes, he grabbed your face by the cheeks and pulled your face to his for a proper kiss. You relished in the warmth of Tom’s lips, and the careful yet forceful way he responded to yours.
Tom began backing you up, without breaking the kiss, until the two of you fell into an ungraceful heap on the couch. He was situated on top of you, but pulled back for a minute to study your features. You did the same to him.
You were in love with this boy. You loved way the light never seemed to leave his deep brown eyes and the way there always seemed to be a strand of hair out of place, sweeping across his forehead. You reached out a hand to adjust it, and ended up softly caressing his cheek. He grinned.
“I love you,” you said quietly.
“I love you more,” he said, booping your nose with his finger. You giggled quietly at his antics.
“When do you have to be back out there?” you inquired as your laughter died down. He got off of you to grab his phone to check the time.
“3 minutes,” he groaned with a frown. A wicked smile overtook your face as you thought of a way to spend those next few minutes.
“Don’t frown, I’m here for a couple days. Just shut up and kiss me before you go,” you said grabbing him by the hand and pulling him back on the couch, this time climbing on top of him.
Initiating the kiss this time, it got heated faster, the added pressure of time making the two of you antsy. After sharing a few gentle, careful pecks, you went all in, losing yourself in the moment as Tom’s arm wrapped around your waist.
Your hands seemed to have a mind of your own as they ached to feel Tom everywhere. They spent a few moments mussing up his hair, another few around the back of his neck, then down to his abs.
He moaned into your mouth as your fingers started to draw small patterns on his abs. a few inches above where he probably needed you most. You made a move to unzip his pants, but realized he was in this goddamn Spider-Man suit.
Despite your inability to go any further, you could feel him growing hard against your thigh. You didn’t have the heart to stop, so you just continued making out with him, slyly introducing your tongue to his mouth to further things.
“Tom, are you in there?” you heard Harrison outside the trailer. You scrambled off of your boyfriend in case the door was to be opened. Tom looked a bit mortified as he realized his unfortunate predicament.
There was no way he could hide his hard on in the skin tight material of his suit, nor was there any way he could get rid of it before he had to go back to shooting in the next few moments. You burst out laughing as Harrison opened the door.
“Come on, we’re on a tight schedule today, Jon’s not gonna be happy--” he stopped mid-sentence as Tom tried to grab a something to cover the evident bulge in his suit. You were in hysterics, mentally patting yourself on the back for your handiwork. Harrison joined you in your laughter.
“Now that is rich,” Harrison got out as he tried to subdue his chuckles and gave you a high five.
“Shut up and help me!” Tom whined, desperately looking between the two of you. His face was flushed and contorted in a grimace.
“No way that’s not my job,” Harrison said with his hands up in defense.
“Sorry, babe, if you’ve gotta be on set then I don’t have any time to help,” you replied teasingly, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you later,” you called out as you ran out of the trailer.
“Y/N, god, I’m so getting you back for this!” he yelled after you.
Tom jumped up to chase after you, but as soon as he opened the door he remembered his little problem and jumped back inside, where Harrison was doubled over in laughter yet again.
You were definitely in for it the second he was done for the day, that’s for sure.
please give me feedback what did y’all think? didn’t rlly know where to end it lolz sorry. requests are always open tbh (it might take me a minute to get to ur request though so be patient bubs) <3
also the full request was this lol: “Do you think you can write a tom holland x reader where they are dating and she surprises him on set in his trailer they kiss and things get heated *wink* but they realize that they can't do anything cause he's in his spider man suit”
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themdolanboys · 8 years ago
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Regrets
Summary: You broke up with Ethan. Why the bloody hell did you do that? Word count: 3,738. Warnings: Lil bit o’ smut at the end there ;) A/N: Hello lovelies! I worked really hard on this and I think it’s my best one yet, so I’d really appreciate it if you’d let me know if you like it!
__________________ It had been almost five months since you and Ethan had broken up, so why did it still hurt so bad? Why did your heart clench painfully when you heard his name? Why did you feel your stomach churn whenever you thought of him? Which was everyday, by the way. You just couldn’t stop thinking about him, and you felt ridiculous for it because you were the one who called it quits on your 14 month relationship. 
 Ethan wasn’t exactly sure as to why you had broken up with him, which you knew was your fault, but he didn’t put up much of a fight for you either, which only fed into the paranoia and insecurities that lead you to break up with him.
 Truthfully? You let your anxiety get to you. You thought he was getting bored of you and that he was fed up of you, but his pity for you made him stay. You started to convince yourself that he didn’t love you anymore, that he never really loved you in the first place, that everything you had shared together was a lie. 
 Your paranoia stemmed from your dad leaving when you were five, and it made you believe that no one could ever truly want you. As a result of that, you built walls of steel around your heart, layers and layers of steel, promising yourself that you’d never let anybody hurt you again. It had made it hard to trust people.
 Then you met Ethan. 
The gorgeous boy on the football team who had intense hazel eyes and a sweep of brown curly hair, streaks of red in the fringe. You didn’t particularly think jawlines were an attractive asset until you had met him, but his was so sharp it had made you want to sink your teeth into it. He had full pink lips that when opened, showcased a perfect set of pearly whites. 
 You had reluctantly agreed to tutor him in history at your teachers request, as if he got one more bad grade he wouldn’t be able to play football that season, and God forbid one of the best players being chucked off the team because you refused to tutor him. You’d have a riot on your hands. 
 So out of fear for your life, you and Ethan met up every Thursday afternoon from 3 until half 4, oddly enough the only day he didn’t have practice. Apparently the coach had a family thing going on on a Thursday. You’d hadn’t spoken to Ethan prior to this, so you didn’t really have an opinion on him as a person. 
Truthfully, you’d never really given him the time of day. It wasn’t because you didn’t like him, it was just because he was popular and whilst you weren’t friendless, you definitely were not popular, so you never crossed paths. You quickly learnt that Ethan Dolan was one charming boy. 
Going into this, you had dreaded it because despite not having an opinion on him as a person, you assumed because history wasn’t his strong point he wouldn’t make this easy on you. 
 However, that first Thursday, he had gotten there before you did, even though you were right on time, and he smiled when he saw you. He pulled your chair out for you and thanked you profusely for agreeing to tutor him. ‘Oh, right,’ you thought to yourself bitterly, 'of course he has to suck up to you, he needs you to stay on the football team.’ So at first, you tolerated his kindness with fake smiles and forced yourself to tutor him, thinking that he had his agenda and you had yours (extra credit).
 However, the more time you spent with him the more you tried to push your paranoid thoughts to the back of your mind, because Ethan was actually a pretty great guy. You began to realise that he was genuinely sweet and eager to learn. 
 As the weeks went on you had started to warm up to him. He told you that you had made history fun for him again, and listening to your teacher drone in the same monotone voice for an hour 'sucked all the life out of him.’ That had pulled a surprised laugh out of you, short and abrupt, and your hand flew over your mouth in horror. 
 Ethan’s eyebrows shot into his hairline in surprise and he gave you an amused smile, staring. It made your heart lurch in your chest and pound against its steel confinements as if it were willing them to crack. You automatically put yourself in a stance of defense and protect. “What?” You snapped at him when he continued to stare, internally cringing because even you knew that it was a little too harsh. Oh well, you had already said it now. Ethan held his hands up in surrender, “Sorry, sorry, it’s just that I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before. It was cute.”
 It was your turn to be stunned. You gaped at him in surprise, opening your mouth, only to close it again, not knowing that to say. He chuckled at your surprise, “what, has no one ever told you that you’re cute before?” You closed your mouth and pressed your lips on into a thin line, looking down at your history text book like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. This was dangerous territory you were stepping in, and you wanted to bring the focus back to something more in your comfort zone. No way were you going to flirt with Ethan Dolan.
“No.” You told him sternly, your voice confident even though you didn’t feel confident. You both sat in silence for a few moments, and just as you were about to lift your head up to look at him again, he surprised you for the second time that day by placing a single finger under your chin and gently pulling your head up to face him. 
 "I don’t believe you, because you really are cute.“ He told you sincerely, and whilst you were a master of the poker face, you knew you had no control over the burning flush you felt on your cheeks. He wore you down eventually, of course he did. Ethan was like no boy you’d ever met. Well, that was probably because you’d never let a boy get this close to you, but the point was still valid. 
Ethan was so sweet and genuine, and he really did look happy to see you once a week. He was cheeky and he often made you laugh, and before you knew it, you had fallen for him, hard. When he asked you on a date, shyly admitting that he liked you, you were reluctant to accept. 
You knew that you liked him too, but you were so used to pushing people away that there was a part of you that wanted to get up and bolt. For once in your life, however, there was an even bigger part of you that actually wanted to trust him. 
 You had the most incredible 14 months together. Ethan was the perfect gentlemen and he cared greatly for you. He wormed his way into your heart and even though it took you a while, you began to trust him and told him some really personal stuff about yourself, including your dad.
But then, of course, your paranoia kicked in; the old you had returned and you coldly cut him out of your life. It was hard to break up with the first (and only) boy you had ever loved and the look on his face when you did so broke your heart, but the need to protect yourself was stronger. You broke up with him and cut off all contact, never speaking to him again.
 For the first two days he tried everything to get you to talk to him. He flooded your phone with voicemail’s and text messages but you instantly deleted all of them and just prayed he would go away. In a sick kind of way, you liked that he was trying to contact you so badly. It made you feel like he cared and you had needed that reassurance, even though the relationship was over. At the end of the second day, he simply sent a message saying 'I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone now. Take care, Y/N' 
 You had to admit that the text stung, because for the first time you had stopped thinking about how you were hurting and thought about how the way you handled things had probably left him hurting too. You quickly got defensive again when another text came through. 'Bitch.’ Grayson. You turned your phone off and shoved it under your pillow, allowing yourself to cry.
Looking back on it, the text also stung because part of you was hoping Ethan would never give up on you, and you thought that if he loved you he would have fought harder. The paranoia really did make you a selfish bitch sometimes. So here you were, 5 months later, still hurting. 
Time had changed your perspective and so you thought about him a lot, about how much you hurt him. You were angry at yourself for letting your anxiety get the better of you, because you knew Ethan loved you. You often thought about texting him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.
Maybe he had moved on and texting him would only re-open healing wounds. Too much time had passed by now, anyway, it would be cruel for you to text him after so long. 
 The buzz of your phone, alerting you to the fact you had received a text message, pulled you from your thoughts. You pulled it out from under your pillow to see that it was from your best friend Kayla, inviting you to some house party. Usually, you would decline. House parties weren’t really your thing. You’d much rather stay in and study or watch movies. The thoughts of him were strong tonight though, and you thought that you could use a drink or seven to distract you. 
You text her back to let her know that you would be coming, to which she replied "Omg really?! YES! Ok be ready for 9, I’ll pick you up! Xx” You rolled over onto your side to look at the digital clock on your nightstand. It was half 7 already so you got out of bed and dragged yourself to the bathroom to have a shower, wanting to make sure you had enough time to get ready so you could look good. 'Maybe I’ll find a cute boy to distract me’ you mused, turning the shower on. 
n hour and a half later and you were wearing your favourite lacy little black dress that hugged your body in all of the right places. You paused momentarily as you remembered how giddy you had been when you brought it for your one year anniversary date with Ethan. The look he gave you when he actually saw you in it was priceless, and even thinking about it now made you shiver. You almost didn’t make it out of the house that night.
You shoved the thought to the back of your mind as you reapplied your lip gloss and checked yourself in the mirror one final time. You nodded at yourself in approval just as you heard a car horn. You grabbed your phone and shoved it in your bra before walking outside to meet Kayla. The ride to the party was mostly silent. Kayla glanced over at you curiously the entire ride, and you knew that she was trying to figure out why you had agreed. You weren’t willing to offer her an explanation though, so she just huffed and turned on the radio. 
You ended up parking 3 blocks away from the house because with the amount of cars already here you couldn’t park any closer. You cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket as you rubbed your arms, trying to fight off the cold. As you approached the house you could hear the thumping of the music and the laughs of drunk teens on the lawn, huddled in groups, each with a red solo cup and some of them smoking. There was a ping pong table and it appeared there was a tournament going on. 
You pushed your way into the house, through the throng of sweaty teens and grabbing on to Kayla’s hand tightly to make sure you didn’t lose her. You headed straight to the kitchen where the drinks table was and wasted no time in mixing a variety of different alcohols and chugging them down. You and Kayla scrunched your faces up as the alcohol burned its way down your throats. 
Kayla began to tug on your hand, “come on Y/N, let’s go dance,” You were already feeling a light buzz so you agreed, allowing Kayla to drag you to the makeshift dance floor in the living room. You actually began to enjoy yourself a lot more than you thought you would, nodding your head to the beat and jumping up and down. Maybe it was the alcohol, but you were laughing. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed where it didn’t feel forced or fake. Maybe this party was a good idea after all.
Before long you felt hands on your hips and a warm body behind yours. Glancing over your shoulder, you were met with blue eyes and a delicious smirk. You smiled to yourself, deeming him hot enough to dance with. You winked at him in what you hoped was a seductive manner and pushing yourself further back against him, almost grinding. 
You felt a pair of eyes on you from across the room, so you looked up, instantly regretting it as your eyes locked onto a familiar pair of hazel ones.
Ethan. 
Everything seemed to slow down, the music and the people dancing around you. Everything blurred into white noise as you stared back at him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He had been watching you dance with some guy you didn’t even know the name of, and he looked utterly crushed.
Not taking a minute to think about what the look had meant, panic surged through your body, and you could taste bile at the back of your throat. Your fight or flight response kicked in, and it chose flight, the only thing you could think being, 'oh god, I need to get out of here' 
You weren’t really paying attention to where you were going as you desperately pushed people out of the way, stumbling up the stairs and luckily finding an empty bedroom, slamming the door shut. You slid down the door and hugged your knees, forcing yourself to breathe. Sobs racked your body and pinched your eyes shut tightly as the tears fell, not bothering to wipe them away. 
 You didn’t know how long you had been sat there when suddenly there was a soft knocking on the door. 'Please be Kayla,’ you thought to yourself, 'oh god, please be Kayla.’ “Y/N?” A deep voice rumbled, and you internally cursed. You held your breathe, just begging that he’d go away. 
“Look Y/N, please, I saw you shut the door, I know your in here and I’m not leaving until we get a chance to talk. plea-se.” Hearing his voice break and the tone of desperation one again sent daggers through your heart. 
You had done this to him. What kind of a monster where you? You knew you had to open the door, you owed it to him. Taking a deep breath you stood up, your legs shaking and you slowly opened the door. 
Your breath caught in your throat when you saw him. He looked tired; his eyes had dark rings around them and his hair was unattended to, the red streak faded into white. He looked at you expectantly when you realised that you hadn’t opened the door fully, blushing as you took a step back and went to sit on the bed. 
Ethan walked in and joined you, cautiously sitting as far away from you on the bed as he could, as if he was scared you were going to try and run away. You stared at down at your fingers and inspected your nails as you both sat in silence. 
 "How have you been?“ He asked you, his voice rough. It sounded like he had been crying.  "Erm. Okay. I’ve been okay,” you lied, too much of a coward to look up at him. “What about you?" 
He didn’t reply, instead placing a finger under your chin and lifting your head to meet his gaze. It had made you think of the first time it had happened in the library, when he called you cute. A giant wave of emotion swept over you, and it suddenly felt too overwhelming, everything that had been boiling up inside you during the last few months was finally going to come out.
"Ethan, I am so, so sorry.” You sobbed, breaking down in tears once again. To your surprise, Ethan pulled you close to him, almost to the point where you were sitting on his lap, and wrapped his arms around you. He shushed your gently and stroked your hair as he allowed you to sob into his shoulder. You sat like that for a while, with him holding you. It was such a relief to be in his arms again, you forgot how good it had felt. He smelt the way he always had, and you found it very comforting. 
You pulled back eventually, finally calm enough to talk to him. “Ethan, I never should have broken up with you the way I did. I didn’t think for a second about how much it would hurt you and I just feel like such a bitch because you didn’t deserve it. I just got paranoid that you didn’t love me anymore and I had no valid reason to think that and I realise that now. It’s just hard for me, you know? After my dad left I thought it was my fault that he had stopped visiting and I hated myself for it. I let myself believe I wasn’t worthy of anything good. I know that it’s not really an excuse for how I treated you but I’m starting to realise that it was my dads fault for never coming to see me, not mine. I know I need to stop blaming everything on my dad leaving and I’m trying to open up. So here I am, asking you to forgive me." 
 You took a deep breathe, relieved to finally get what you had wanted to say for weeks now finally off of your chest. Ethan sat in silence throughout, watching you intently. 
 "Y/N.” He smiled, “I forgive you.” Your eyes widened in surprise. “Really? You forgive me, just like that?"  "I know how hard it was for you to say that to me because I know how much you hate talking about your dad. We’ve both made mistakes. I should have fought harder for y-"  "Ethan no, it wasn’t-” you tried to interrupt, but he put a hand over your mouth. “Let me finish,” he demanded sternly, to which you could only nod. “I should have fought harder for you, because I knew something was going on with you. Everything was so great between us when you just broke up with me for no reason. I didn’t stop loving you, not even for a second." 
He took a deep breathe, making sure you were looking at him. "I am still in love with you.” You couldn’t do anything other than stare him, not believing what he was saying. 
Your heart swelled with emotion. You had completely fucked him over, yet here he was, baring his soul to you, letting you know that he still loved and cared for you. You didn’t deserve him, he could do better than you. You couldn’t hurt him, not again. 
“Ethan, I don’t think I can hurt you again.” “Then stay.” You stood up to talk away but Ethan grabbed a hold of you hand and pulled you back down, making you huff. He had the audacity to smile at you.
“What if I fuck up again? What if I-” “The only way you could hurt me is if you walk away." 
Without giving you a chance to reply, he grabbed your face and crashed his lips against yours. You involuntary let out a whimper, grabbing his hair and tugging on it to pull him closer. 
He grinned into the kiss and moved his hands down to your waist, pulling you into his lap. Desperately needing oxygen, you broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his, panting heavily. He opened his eyes and your heart skipped a beat, you had almost forgotten how beautiful they looked up close. You knew you were going to give in. 
 "God, I forgot how good you were at that,” you whispered, not wanting to ruin the moment. He smirked at you. “Give us a second chance, Y/N. You won’t hurt me again, I won’t let you. I won’t ever let you go again, I promise, please."   "Okay.” You grinned at him and you couldn’t help but giggle when his smirk turned into a big grin of his own. 
 You used his momentary distraction to your advantage, using all of your strength to push him into a lying down position on the bed. It was your turn to smirk at his stunned face as you straddled him. 
“Now, if I seem to remember, there was something else you were really good at,” you smirked, pushing your hips down and grinding against him. You bent down to suck on his neck, knowing there was a spot just under his ear that drove him crazy. 
He groaned and bucked his hips up, flinging his head back against the mattress and gripping your hips hard. You smiled, loving that you could still get this reaction out of him.
“Be patient baby,” you grinned, “we have all night." 
He huffed in annoyance, only to whimper when you blew air on the part of his neck that you had just been sucking. "Besides,” you said, dragging your hips over him again, “I’ve got a lot of making up to do.”
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thelastspeecher · 8 years ago
Text
Stan Pines, Farmhand - Chapter 11: Best Laid Plans
Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6 Chapter 7   Chapter 8   Chapter 9   Chapter 10   Chapter 11   Chapter 12   Chapter 13   Chapter 14   Chapter 15   Chapter 16   AO3
I definitely did not plan on posting this today, but like what happens in this chapter, plans don’t always work out the way you want.  I’m pretty excited.  This chapter is really cheesy and fluffy, and so is the next one.  But the one after that?  ...Not quite.  Also, the de-aging thing from the previous chapter was resolved “off-screen”.  Anyways, enjoy!
April 1, 1977 – Gravity Falls
               Stan followed his girlfriend and his twin brother deeper into the abandoned mines.  
               “Ya really wanna spend yer birthday chasin’ down dinosaurs?” he asked, his voice echoing.  “Ya wouldn’t prefer to go to that restaurant with the ocean view?”  Angie shook her head.
               “That place is expensive.  Trackin’ dinosaurs is free.”  She looked back at him.  “Ya didn’t have to come with.”
               “You’re my girlfriend.  It’s your birthday.  If I abandoned ya, Lute’d have my head.”
               “I know ya didn’t really like Gravity Falls the last time we visited.”
               “Gnomes chewed through the brake wires of the car I’ve had since I was sixteen,” Stan said flatly.  
               “Yeah.”  Angie fell back a few steps.  She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.  “Thank ya fer workin’ past yer hatred fer this town to spend time with me.”
               “Heh.  It ain’t a big deal.  Especially since this is way better than hearin’ Lute rant about how ‘that ain’t what southern men do’.  Your brother’s got some interesting thoughts ‘bout what bein’ a southern gentleman means. And for some reason, he seems to be under the impression that I’m one.”  Angie chuckled.  She froze.
               “Did ya hear that?”
               “Hear what?”  A roar echoed.  
               “That.”  
               “Yep.  Definitely heard that.”
               “I’ve found the nest!” Ford called.  He ran back to them.  “But there’s a slight problem.  I disturbed the mother.”
               “That’s more than a slight problem, Sixer,” Stan said.  “I think it’s time to go.”
               “What?  But we didn’t get any pictures!” Angie protested.  Stan grabbed her hand.
               “If ya get killed on my watch, yer folks’ll kill me.  C’mon.” She pulled her hand out of his grip.
               “No, I need at least one picture.”  Angie strode away determinedly.  “If’n yer so concerned ‘bout my safety, ya can follow me.”  A shadow fell over her.
               “Angie!”  Stan tackled her to the ground, narrowly avoiding the dinosaur’s claws.  They tumbled down a nearby slope, coming to a stop at its base.  He looked at Angie, whom he was effectively pinning to the ground.  She was so close that he could count every freckle on her face and see a thin silver ring around her pupils, contrasting the bright blue of the rest of her iris.  It reminded him of something.  He thought back to the small box he had left back with Fiddleford, at Ford’s house.  
               Now’s as good a time as any.  She stared at him, a pink flush beginning to spread across her cheeks.
               “Will ya marry me?” he blurted out.  Angie’s eyes widened.  
               “What?”
               “Banjolina Quinn McGucket, will ya marry me?” he said, more firmly this time. “I know I’m not on one knee, and the ring’s back at Ford’s house, but-”
               “Yes,” she interrupted.  
               “Wait, really?”
               “Yes, really,” she said.  “Ya goober.” Stan grinned at her.
               “I’m yer goober, now,” Stan said.  Angie smiled.
               “Ya most definitely are.”
----- 
May 1978 – Gumption
               “So, the wedding’s in a month, right?” Lute asked Angie.  Angie rolled her eyes.  
               “Ya got the invitation ages ago!  An’ all the information is in that there binder in front of ya.”
               “Oh.”  Lute opened the binder.  “Yep. June 18.  Good choice.  I’ve heard good things about June weddings.”  After her graduation with her master’s degree, Angie had come back to Gumption with Stan, and they were currently finishing up the wedding plans.
               “An’ it’s here in Gumption,” Angie continued.  “In the barn.  So we’ll have to clean it up a bit.”
               “Why not the church?” Fiddleford asked.  He and Ford were taking a break from their research in Gravity Falls to visit Gumption quickly before the wedding.  
               “Stan’s Jewish,” Angie said shortly.
               “Right.”
               “Angie, does this mean ya get to do the thing where ya step on the glass an’ break it?” Lute asked eagerly.  Angie looked at Stan.  Stan nodded. “Dang.  That’s excitin’.”
               “Y’all are weird,” Stan said, shaking his head.  Angie kissed him on the cheek.
               “Yer marryin’ into my weird fam’ly, though.”  
               “Fiddleford, Tate’s up,” Ford said, walking into the living room, holding his son.  
               “Did ya change him?” Fiddleford asked.
               “Yes.”
               “I’ll hold him, then.  He likes gettin’ attention.”
               “No, I’ll hold him!” Angie said immediately.
               “Are you sure?” Ford asked.  Angie nodded.
               “I don’t get to spend enough time with the lil polydactyl.”  Ford handed Tate to her.  “My lord, Tate, yer gettin’ so big already!” Angie cooed at her nephew. She looked at Fiddleford.  “How old is he, again?”
               “He was born November 17, so almost exactly six months,” Fiddleford replied. Angie looked back at Tate.
               “Yer already halfway to bein’ a year old, Tater Tot!  Such a big boy!”  She blew a raspberry on Tate’s stomach.  He giggled.  “Such a happy boy, too!  What an absolute cutie-pie.”
               “Since he started sleeping through the night, he’s definitely started to seem cuter,” Ford said.  He rubbed his eyes tiredly.  “I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been on Mom to take care of two infants at the same time.”
               “It’s a good thing twins don’t run in the McGucket fam’ly, then,” Lute said, turning another page in the wedding plan binder.  “Otherwise ya might have had to deal with that.”  
               “Are ya goin’ to have more kidlets?” Angie asked her older brother. Fiddleford shook his head.
               “I think just the one child is enough,” Fiddleford said, taking his son from Angie.  “I don’t plan on goin’ through that whole experience again.  It weren’t pleasant.”
               “Adoption is-”
               “Just the one munchkin is enough fer us,” Fiddleford said firmly. “Raisin’ kids is hard work, an’ we’re already busy, what with Tate and our research.”  He smiled at Angie.  “I understand where yer comin’ from.  I know ya enjoy bein’ an auntie, and ya like spoilin’ yer nieces and nephews.  But ya won’t be gettin’ any more from Ford and myself.”  
               “Fair enough,” Angie conceded.  She cocked her head.  “So, ya had to give up doin’ research fer a while.  How’d that go?  Just so’s I know.”  Stan looked up from the wedding plans he had been perusing with Lute.
               “Uh, what?” Stan asked.  Angie looked over at him.
               “I ain’t pregnant now, don’t worry.”
               “I know you’re not, but the fact that you’re askin’ before we’re even married is makin’ me a bit nervous.”
               “It’s just fer future reference,” Angie said with a wave of her hand.
               “Ya might go a bit stir-crazy when it’s yer turn,” Fiddleford told her. “I stayed inside a lot an’ didn’t do much, ‘specially near the end.”  Angie grimaced.
               “Yeesh.  But it’d be worth it.  Fer one thing, Stan’s cuter than Ford.  An’ I know it seems impossible, but that means a kid of ours would be even more adorable than Tate.”
               “Damn straight,” Stan said, turning his attention back to the wedding plans.  “And our kid would have a better name.”
               “Tate is a perfectly fine name,” Ford said defensively.  “Fiddleford and I agreed to forego the McGucket naming convention.”
               “Ya might have mostly foregone it, but ya did name him after Uncle Tate,” Lute said.
               “So?”
               “Do ya know what Tate is short for?”
               “It’s not short for anything.”  
               “Not yer Tate.  Uncle Tate.”
               “Oh, um, no,” Ford confessed.  Angie snickered.  “What? What is it short for?”
               “Isn’t he the one named after food?” Stan asked.  Ford looked at Fiddleford.
               “Fiddleford.  What did we name our son?”
               “We named him a proper name,” Fiddleford said reassuringly.  “His namesake just don’t have that.”
               “What’s Uncle Tate’s real name?” Ford asked.  Fiddleford sighed.
               “His full name is Potato.”
-----
September, 1978 – Gravity Falls
               Summer was beginning to fade, and the town of Gravity Falls was bustling with citizens making the most of the last warm days.  On the drive up, Angie had been bubbling with excitement over getting permission to finish her doctorate by studying some of the amphibians in Gravity Falls.  Her happiness almost masked the dread Stan was feeling.  Something about the lumber town felt odd to him, like bad things would happen there.  But now that he was officially moving boxes into the house they had just rented, the initial unease had gone to the back of Stan’s mind.  
               “Thanks fer helpin’ us move in,” Angie said, handing a box to Lute.
               “It’s no problem.  I’m always ‘round to help my baby sister,” he replied.  He tucked the box under one arm.
               “It’s not like you have anythin’ better to do, anyways,” Stan said, taking another box out of the trailer.  “What exactly do ya do, again?”
               “Mostly just bother my siblin’s,” Lute replied.  Angie opened the passenger door of the truck and took out the terrarium holding Tubbs.  She went inside the house.  Once she was gone, Lute turned to Stan.  “So, when are the two of ya goin’ to pop out a kid?”  
               “Lute, what the fuck.”
               “Hey, it’s a perfectly valid question.”
               “We’ve only been married fer three months.”
               “So?”
               “Isn’t that a bit fast?”
               “Not fer a McGucket,” Lute said.  “Ma didn’t even finish school ‘fore she had the oldest three.”
               “Well, we only just moved here.  Angie wouldn’t wanna stop doin’ her research just after startin’ it.” Stan rubbed his neck nervously. “An’ I’m still lookin’ for a job. ‘Arkansas farmhand’ and ‘San Diego car salesman’ don’t make the greatest resume.  We haven’t even talked ‘bout kids, beyond mentionin’ that they’ll eventually happen.  So, no, Lute, we’re not plannin’ on havin’ kids.  Not yet.”
               “What’s that thing folks say?  ‘God laughs at yer plans’?”  Stan eyed Lute suspiciously.  
               “What are ya gettin’ at, McGucket?” he asked.  Lute sighed and set down the box he was holding.
               “Ma didn’t plan on havin’ the older three.  It’s a well-known fact in the fam’ly that Violynn, Harper, and Basstian were all surprises.”
               “I don’t think I’m likin’ what I’m hearin’.”
               “Pa has seven siblin’s.”
               “Damn.”
               “The McGuckets are a very fertile fam’ly.  An’ unless you ‘n Angie are abstainin’…”  Lute eyed Stan curiously.  
               “Lute.  I’m not gonna talk ‘bout my sex life.  Do ya really want to know if your baby sister’s had-”
               “Fair enough,” Lute said quickly.  He shrugged. “Just somethin’ to keep in mind. Tate weren’t planned, either.”
               “Lute, don’t say things like that,” Angie said, joining them again.  
               “It’s true,” Lute protested.  Angie put her hands on her hips.
               “It don’t matter if it’s true.  It’s rude.  But that reminds me.”  Angie turned to Stan.  “We’re babysittin’ Tate tomorrow.”
               “Again?”
               “His dads have research to do.  I just want to help.”
               “Uh-huh.  Sure,” Stan said.  “It doesn’t have anythin’ to do with how much ya like spendin’ time with babies.”  Angie rolled her eyes and took the box he was holding.
               “They got backed up a bit on their work after he was born,” she called as she walked back inside.  “They need to catch up.”  
               “If ya say so.”  Stan looked at Lute.  “Do ya really think that-”
               “I ain’t a doctor.  I can’t tell ya yer chances fer havin’ a surprise kid.”
               “You literally just told me you thought that’s what’ll happen.”
               “…Point taken.”  Lute handed Stan another box from the trailer.  “If’n it makes ya feel better, I think you’d be a good dad.”
               “Yeah?”
               “Yeah.  Lord knows the Gucklings think yer the best thing since sliced bread.  Yer a natural with kids, even if ya don’t feel like ya are.”
               “I’m pretty sure yer just lyin’ to me to try to get another niece or nephew,” Stan said.  Lute scoffed.
               “I ain’t a liar, no matter how cute I think yer kid would be.”  Angie opened the front door and stuck her head out.
               “Are you fellers goin’ to bring in any more boxes or keep chit-chattin’ at the truck?”
----- 
               “Aren’t you the cutest lil feller I ever done see,” Angie cooed at Tate. She and Stan were at Ford and Fiddleford’s house, babysitting Tate.  So far, he’d been remarkably well-behaved, something Stan claimed was due to his parents being nerds.  Tate giggled and grabbed at Angie’s nose.  She laughed. “Yup.  That’s the fam’ly nose.  And you’ve got it too, Tater Tot.”  She sighed.  
               “What is it?” Stan asked.
               “I want one,” Angie said softly.  She played with Tate’s hands.  
               “Well, it’s not like anybody else is here,” Stan began.  Angie eyed him.
               “What are ya gettin’ at?”
               “If ya decide to take him, I won’t tell.  Ya can head for the border with Tate and I’ll meet up with ya.”
               “Mexico?”
               “No.  Canada.”
               “I did learn French at West Coast Tech,” Angie said.  Her eyes gleamed.  She stood up.
               “Whoa, whoa,” Stan said.  “I was kidding.”
               “Oh.”  Angie sat down again.  “Uh, so was I.”  
               “No ya weren’t!”
               “Hey, you don’t know me.”
               “Yeah, I do,” Stan said firmly.  Angie sighed.
               “Yer right.”  She kissed Tate on the forehead.  “This lil feller’s just so goldarn cute.  It ain’t right that Ford got a baby ‘fore I did.”
               “…Why?” Stan asked.  Angie shrugged.
               “‘Cause it’s Ford?”
               “Fair enough.”  Stan leaned over to look at his nephew.  Tate grabbed one of Stan’s fingers and began to chew on it excitedly.  Stan softened.  “You want a baby, huh?”
               “Yeah…” Angie said softly.  
               “But ya understand now ain’t the best time fer that.  We’re still settlin’ here in Gravity Falls, and ya just started your research, so we should probably wait a bit.”  Angie cracked a half-smile.
               “Does that mean ya want to be a dad?”  
               “…Maybe.”
               “Glad we’re on the same page.  I want a lil one, too, but we should prob’ly hold off a bit.  How long do ya want to wait?”
               “How ‘bout no kids ‘til after our first anniversary?  That way we can go as wild as we want next June,” Stan suggested.  Angie chuckled.  “Think you can wait that long?”
               “Yeah.” She kissed him on the cheek.  “Look at ya, bein’ responsible.”
               “Well, that an’, I dunno, havin’ a kid right away doesn’t seem like a good idea. I’m pretty sure it’s ruined marriages.” Angie’s eyes softened.
               “Stanley, it’d take more than a baby to make me leave ya.”
               “What would it take?” Stan asked.
               “Why do ya want to know?”
               “I wanna avoid doin’ it.”
               “I can’t think of anythin’,” Angie said, bouncing Tate on one of her knees.
               “…Really?”
               “Darlin’, I can’t think of a single thing that would make me so angry with ya that I’d leave.”
               “Nothin’?”
               “Absolutely nothin’.”
----- 
December 23, 1978 – Gumption
               Normally, at the holidays, the McGucket house was even more warm and welcoming than usual.  But Stan couldn’t help the nervousness he was feeling.  Sitting next to him at the dining table, Angie grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
               “Darlin’, it’s fine,” she whispered in his ear.  “You’ll make it through this.”
               “Why do ya want to wait ‘til January, to tell ‘em, again?” he whispered back.
               “Ya know why.”
               “Are the two lovebirds whisperin’ sweet nothin’s to each other?” Lute asked teasingly.  
               “What’s it to you?” Stan asked.  Lute reached out to take Angie’s glass.
               “Ya want some wine, lil sis?”  Angie hurriedly grabbed it from him.
               “No, Lute.  Thanks, though.”  Lute frowned at her.
               “What happened to the Angie I know an’ love?  It ain’t like you’ll get drunk.  McGuckets got fortitude.”
               “I know how our fam’ly works, ya goon,” Angie said.  She shrugged.  “I just ain’t in the mood fer alcohol right now.”
               “Is that so?” Ma McGucket asked.  There was an odd look on her face.  “Is there any reason fer that?”
               “N-no,” Angie stammered.  She swallowed, suddenly turning a slight shade of green.  She stood up abruptly.  “I’ll be back in a mo’.”  She rushed off.
               “She’s been usin’ the facilities an awful lot,” Lute said, taking his seat on the other side of Stan.  “Is she sick or somethin’?”
               “No.  At least, if she is, she didn’t tell me,” Stan said.  He looked at Ma McGucket again.  She smiled knowingly at him.
               Stan turned beet red.
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annasadventuresabroad · 8 years ago
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KEATS CONFERENCE 2017
May is a busy month! Finishing my last semester at Charles, putting together essay proposals, Erasmus friends leaving and, of course, travelling. I was so excited about my first Keats conference that I managed to stay up most of the night, wake up at 7am to say goodbye to parent and fall asleep without an alarm and wake up not even 3 hours before my afternoon flight to London. Without having anything packed. Besides this dramatic start to the trip, everything was great! I left my Prague home without forgetting anything important, my conference paper was done and approved, the accompanying powerpoint presentation perfectly synced with the talk, so something had to go wrong! I write this all 2 days after returning back, no longer stressed and sleep deprived - enjoy this summary of the trip!  
THURSDAY, 18.5.2017
I already recollected the tale of my almost missing the flight. Everything was easy afterwards - the flight was on time, mostly turbulence-less and, surprise surprise, it was raining in London when we landed. I felt a sense of comfort though when seeing again all the pastures green and generally was very happy to be back in England. The journey to my airbnb in Hampstead took almost 2 hours, but my host(s) were super nice and we drank green tea while it poured outside. 
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FRIDAY 19.5.2017
The conference was to start at 2pm, so during essentially the only free hours I had in London, I explored Camden market. The weather was kinda miserable still, with showers and stronger wind, but the morning was alright, so I could stroll outside. 
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Okay okay, story time. I love buying books - and owning them even more. The UK is so great for having a wide selection of second-hand classics available so I always buy something. Instead of spending my budget on food, I walked into this bookshop thinking: “Anna, all you want is Godwin’s Caleb Williams [because Romanticism], Smollett’s Expedition of Harold Clinker [because Restoration lit] and, if they have it, Scott’s poetry [because Scottish lit]. No more, Anna!” So I go to the classics section and there they are: Caleb and Clinker. No Scott though. I went to the counter to pay and notice a poetry section. And there it was: SCOTT’S POETRY. I gasped. I opened. I marveled at the beauty of this 1907 edition. 12.50gbp? I’M TAKING IT. Ooooh shiny marbly patterned pages. And later on I found the Oxfam Books shop my hostess recommended me and there I added The Monk [because Gothic lit] to my expanding book collection in my bag library. No regrets, no regrets. I am still amazed  that they had the poetry volume and am now half-way through The Lay of the Last Minstrel alongside doing my Shakespeare readings. Both are so great. 
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Went for coffee to escape the spring showers to Yumchaa, which was recommended by Anna on Facebook. A cozy nice lil cafe and one of the few places it seems that serve proper coffee and not just sirup-based ‘cappuccino’ (yes! that exists). I just stared gleefully at my books, though it was rather tormenting to know that I cannot dive into them now, but maybe in 2 months when studying for my MA finals.
Camden is full of stalls with clothes of various styles, jewelry and little small cute items like these coasters. I would go terribly bankrupt here, so walking through these markets was literally a test of strong will. I would immediately get that toucan coaster. And the sparrow. And jay. Heck, I’d get all the birdies!!! 
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The conference then began with a lecture by Theresa M. Kelley and a panel. Immediately I felt more comfortable - there was laughter and humor as well as great evident passion for Keats’s poetry and letters. I personally enjoyed listening and observing the Keatsian crowd first instead of engaging in conversation and panel discussions. The wine reception afterwards helped one relax a bit, as meeting a bunch of new people is quite an energy-consuming task. Nonetheless, it was evident that it was going to be a great conference and I slowly was getting ready to present my own paper the next day. 
SATURDAY 20.5.2017
Day of my talk and 4 panels. Thanks to the superb location of my airbnb, I only had 10 minutes’ walk to the Keats House. En route I would see these things. 
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[I think that this is the house I accidentally entered a few years back when I first visited Keats House. In my defense, imagine a 17-year-old excited lit student looking for the home of one of the greatest English poets!] I don’t remember seeing the hair salon below that appropriated the name and poetry of Keats, but it definitely appeared here and there in the conversations of Keatsians around the corner.
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Lines from “To Autumn”. 
& grumpy, but gorgeous British cat that roamed around the Keats House throughout the conference. Warning: not cuddly.
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The conference took place in the Nightingale room of the yellow building/library next to the Keats House and Museum. Sadly there was no time to explore the house itself, but it was still magical to know that Keats used to live right next to us and write poetry in the very garden where we enjoyed our coffee and tea breaks. 
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My professor from Durham, Michael O’Neill, also gave a paper that day. All the papers were so great and inspiring, literally - so many different points of views on K’s poetry, emphasizing his sensitivity to real objects, literature, his interpretation of sights, events and the various sides of his personality as expressed through not only poems, but also letters. I enjoyed so much every single talk and the creative approaches of the speakers, being it looking through his letters as giving a performance and self-making, looking at his poetry through a statistical lens or tracking the route Keats took to Isle of Wight in April 1817 with the help of his letters, Patterson’s 1811 edition of Roads, meteorological records and Google maps. All of these fun and impressive approaches made me feel a little insecure about my talk that I considered to be very serious and ‘basic’, but luckily there was so much enthusiasm and support and turned out, I was pretty much the only one talking about the medieval and Spenserian elements in Keats’s poetry and so it was a bit different. The feedback was generally positive, the only negative being (especially from the older ladies) that I spoke too fast, but everyone else seemed to be very content otherwise with the ‘enthusiastic’ speed of my talk. I am happy with my performance, though if I could do it again, I’d try to relax and pay more attention to the reactions in the audience instead of delving into a self-critical insecure state of mind as I tend to do. There was laughter at several points in my talk, which is a reaction I didn’t even consider once - it was a positive surprise! I felt more relaxed gradually, especially when I explained the origin of a background photograph on one of the slides that was of a hall in the Prague Castle and there were enthusiastic sounds when I joked that I am no architecture historian, hence I cannot promise that the picture would exactly match the medieval setting of the poem. So yeah, I think I should be happy with my performance as truly most people liked it! 
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Following my panel (the last one of the day), there was the conference dinner - and boy, it felt really well-deserved! It was also great to meet some new faces at the table, get the know some people closer and generally just relax, not being stressed out about giving a talk to 30 people. Haha and also, while the previous night I could barely sleep due to nervousness, this night I was too excited to sleep. #pandaeyes 
SUNDAY 21.5.2017
Finally! No rain! It was a *beautiful* sunny day, around 22C and the atmosphere at the conference was more relaxed - less people than the previous day, as most already gave their talk and had to leave or were still practicing. I was happy to just enjoy the talks and especially Greg Kucich’s fantastic and hilarious lecture on the place of Endymion in the political instability of 1817. Sadly I had to miss the last 2 panels due to my flight, but I did have time to say goodbye during the lunch break, exchange email addresses and spend some 30 minutes at Hampstead Heath park, soaking a bit of Sunday London atmosphere while overlooking the panorama. 
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Traveled to the airport without problems essentially, just took the underground and train. The flight had like 30 minutes delay, but I had peace in my soul after the wonderful 3 days in London and assuredly I will return again! I truly couldn’t have wished for a better introduction to the Keatsian circle. 
And what is the next adventure, you might ask? Hungary! For a 2-week international  literature seminar. I don’t have enough time to post properly - this Keats conference was really special! - but I mainly post pictures on my instagram or on the Facebook page. 
- Anna 
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