#and in her mind that was the nurses confirming the vaccine is what caused it

[butters-flower-mom]

I hate that getting the covid vaccine has only made my mom more anti-vaxx because ever since she got it she blames anything that goes wrong with her health on the vaccine.

[pascallllllll1]

Dizzy Spells

Pedro Pascal x Reader

Word count: 1K+

Description: Pedro being the caring and loving boyfriend he is forces reader to get looked at after experiencing dizziness and fainting.

Warnings: Mentions use of IV’s/needles and unplanned pregnancy. Age gap relationship (very legal)

Pssst!

“Hey! Don’t play with that!” Hissed your overbearing boyfriend who currently resides at your bedside while reaching to stop you from fidgeting with the tape holding the IV in place. You’ve never been a needle person, your parents always scheduling appointments with your family doctor growing up for vaccinations and shots to save you the embarrassment of having a melt down in front of school nurses through the years. Now coming into young adulthood needles continue to make you very nervous, but you're not a blubbering baby that needs to be held down anymore. Some might call that growth. Right now you’re just thankful to whatever higher power is out there that Pedro won’t have to witness hysterical sobbing caused by a tiny needle, all because you’ve been light headed lately and may have fainted a few times. Which leads you to now, where you lay attached to an IV keeping you hydrated while reclined in the stiff bed, your boyfriend of only 5 months by your side stressing over every little thing while waiting for the doctor to come back with test results from your blood work.

“I’m sorry! It’s just really itchy. I wanna go home babe, I really don’t see why we had to come there’s nothing to worry about! It’s probably low iron or something.” Whining you poke out your bottom lip and look up at Pedro with big doe eyes and rest the side of your cheek on his broad shoulder. With a deep sigh Pedro opens his mouth to begin his speech on how it’s better to be safe than sorry and how he cares about you taking care of yourself when two short knocks come from outside the waiting room door. You're quickly repositioning yourself and begin sitting up eager to get this over with and calling out whomever was waiting on the other side of the door to come in. A tall busty woman walks in, clipboard and files in hand looking about Pedro’s age if not older, she looks over to you both when crossing the space to the end of the bed and does a double take when looking to Pedro then back to yourself. You can hear the hesitation in her voice before she asks,

“So who have you brought in with you for support today… Y/N?” She glances down at the now open file to double check your name before her eyes meet yours again waiting for an answer. Nervous, you look to your left hoping for Pedro to speak up for you. Suddenly realising how the question may have come across to you the doctor clarifies her meaning.

“I’m sorry, it’s just your results have come back and due to the nature of them I wanted to confirm you wanted him in the room to hear or if you’d like privacy and for him to step out a moment.”

“The nature of them?” Speaks up Pedro worriedly, concern deeply etched across his face. The doctor looks to you for confirmation that you’d like him to stay. Your mind is spiralling out of control with ideas of what’s wrong with you, what could possibly be going on inside your body, and already searching for ways to solve these hypothetical scenarios reeking havoc in your head. Needing Pedro now more than ever for moral support and comfort you nod to the woman to continue on with the test results.

“Ok. First and foremost I’d like to make it clear that you are healthy and nothing is wrong with you.”

Pedro exhales shakily at the new information and pulls you against his chest with his left arm around you, he kisses the side of your head and takes a moment to breathe you.

You look up to the doctor and ask,

“So what's going on with me then? How come I’ve been so dizzy and fainting?”

“Because you’re pregnant, about 3 weeks along.” Your body tenses up when you feel Pedro quickly release you from his embrace and shoot up out of the bed towards the doctor. The sound of a file opening and paper being hastily sorted through fills your ears. This is way too early in the relationship to be happening. Does he want a family with you? To marry you? A future? Does he see you as his end game? For crying out loud you weren’t even together publicly yet- HIS FANS! How would they react? Would they hate you over such a large age gap? Would they hate you for taking him off the market? Would they hate you for trapping him with a baby? Would he still have a career or would his fans drop him because of who he’s with? You couldn’t live with messing up his life. His dreams and achievements he’d worked so hard for. A large familiar hand pulls you out of the black storm of doubt and back to the present moment. The other comes up to cup the side of your cheek and trace a delicate thumb over your trembling bottom lip. Shifting your focus to the man now kneeling on the bed in front of you, your eyes are met with tearful brown ones staring back at you, undeniably full of love and childlike amazement.

“Baby,” Pedro pauses and takes a moment to clear his throat and sniffle,

“I will support ANY decision you make, and YES this is all 100% your decision to make,” closing his eyes as his voice breaks Pedro exhales loudly and wipes at his eyes before his hands resume to their previous spots.

“But I want to make it so very clear baby, I will stay by your side and support you and our child, I love you Y/N. I want our family if you’re willing to give it to me.” Looking at the man across from you now, there’s not a doubt in your mind that he’s the partner you want to have in life. You and him. Seeing the love he has for you, for your unborn baby who you’d literally just learned about triumphs any previous worries you’d had initially. He’s your person and your his, together you’ll share the most special experience two people can share, raising a child.

“Our family.” You whimper out.

“Our family.” Pedro confirms wrapping you up tight in his arms.

Thank you for reading!! I’m still learning and figuring this all out so any comments are more than welcome! I’d also like to mention that yes I’m writing about Pedro Pascal himself but I’d like to make it clear this is all pretend and a fake fantasy. In no way do any of us know who he really is as a person and this isn’t me trying to make him something he isn’t just sharing my personal daydream fake scenarios with y’all! Hope you enjoyed:)

[askfarfromhome]

Did the covid pandemic happen in the FFH universe? If so, how did the giants react to humans talking about covid-19? Did this cause more anti-human hate?

I want to tell you this is an easy question because, yes, it has very obviously been on my mind that Covid will have to be eventually acknowledged in FFH: AME especially considering it's a time skip/bounce around story

So what I can say for now is:

Yes, it happens in FFH: AME, even if it probably won't be focused on or have a chapter dedicated to it. Mentioned at the very least. Will probably have to come up with a Tergaian name for it before it's confirmed as The 'Rona

Yes, when the Tergaians find out it's a Human-based virus/disease, they lose their shit a bit. It is kindly and very generously considered a "big set-back" for Human/Tergaian relations. The thing that probably gets them back on track would be Humans helping develop a vaccine/cure/wahey either through straight up research/trial and error/etc in conjunction with Tergaian potion-making or the easy way aka a nurse with a vial or 7 of Earth vaccines to be studied/replicated on Tergaia. I can see Tim and Molly leading the charge in Fathach on Covid research (Tim is the Royal Magician and Molly has a highly rated and reputable thaumaturgy lab, after all).

Glori would probably relapse hard, she is VERY protective of her kids and this whole thing would help justify her old prejudices. I don't think she would go completely back to her old thinking, but it definitely would be something she did subconsciously. (She doesn't become a super-duper Human lover in AME, but she does learn to deal with her shit in healthier ways)

[15001700tt]

Descendants of the Moon

Descendants of the Moon Masterlist

Tag list: @chastja  @multi-fan-trash @serpentityx @syublush @laadychat @whoissheff Dm me if you want to be on the tag list!

Word Count: 3,356

Key: Italics- things that happened in the drama but do not old any importance to the story line

Key: Bold- Dialogue said in the Drama

There Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked

Episode 11:

*Since Dae Young and Shi Jin know who's the confirmed case, Dae Young has a moment with Myung Ju. Dae Young was put in quarantine by himself, while Myung Ju did the same.* 

Yoo Ji woke up, she hadn’t had a good night's sleep for so long, she forgot how it felt. Everything that happened a few hours ago came rushing into her brain. She groaned and tried to sit up. Gwang Nam who just came into the room saw her trying to sit up and rushed to help her.

“Slow down,” he told her,

“But Mo Yeon and Myung Ju-” she stopped when she saw Mo Yeon come into her room.

“I am fine, Myung Ju is quarantined with Manager Jin to check on his recovery,” she informed her. 

“She has it?” Yoo Ji asked, her voice was hoarse. 

“She’ll be fine, she has a good immune system” Mo Yeon assured while looking at her vitals. 

“Have you been taking your medicine?” Yoo Ji avoided her eyes, she didn't take it anymore.

“Why are you here? You need to go take care of Myung Ju. I am fine,” Yoo Ji told her. 

“I can't do anything at this point, but hope for the best” Mo Yeon replied looking at Yoo Ji with a hard stare. 

“What about Dae Y-” Yoo Ji’s question was caught off by Mo Yeon.

“Can you stop worrying about other people and start taking care of yourself? You can't keep on fainting everywhere like this!” Mo Yeon scolded her. 

“I was getting better, so I stopped taking them” Yoo Ji stated, she understood that Mo Yeon was concerned, and was under the pressure right now.

“Are you having nightmares still?” Gwang Nam broke the silence they were in. Yoo Ji found Mo Yeon’s eyes. Mo Yeon told him, she realized. Yoo Ji sighed, this was something personal.

“Yes, but how do you know about that” Yoo Ji ended up saying instead of yelling in anger. She released a breath to calm her heartbeat down. It didn't really help that she was hooked up to a monitor that was beating crazily next to her. 

“Actually never mind, Mo Yeon told you but that doesn't mean you had any right to dig into my past” she calmly said, even if she didn't feel calm.

“But I understand, but I can't deal with this right now” Yoo Ji finished, taking out the IV and trying to leave the room.

“Look, I am sorry, I know I overstepped a line, but I was concerned and I didn't know what else to do.” Gwang Nam’s exasperated voice told her from behind. He held onto one of her hands. 

“I just need to be alone right now.” Yoo Ji insisted softly. She went back to her room. She took a deep breath and let it out. Yoo Ji went to change and take a shower since she was still in her clothes and they were sticky with her sweat. When she’s done with her shower, she goes to the common room to get something to eat.

Mo Yeon had gathered the kids to give them their medicines and vaccinations, Fatima was there to translate what she said. A few minutes later, the lights give out and they are covered in darkness. Yoo Ji’s eyes found Mo Yeon’s in the darkness and she dropped what she had in her hands and went running to the ICU. Manager Jin was hooked up to a respiratory machine and if the electricity went out he’ll suffocate. Mo Yeon soon remembered and went to check too.

Yoo Ji arrived to find Woo Geun standing by the door holding a flashlight, looking in. Yoo Ji peered inside and found Chi Hoon on top of Manager Jin, holding him still while he was having a seizure. 

“I am coming in,” Yoo Ji told Woo Geun, who held onto her arm.

“They told me not to, we need to fix the electricity first” he informed her. She relaxed and nodded. Mo Yeon arrived and started putting on the protective gear and went inside immediately. Yoo Ji’s eyes wandered inside, Chi Hoon was performing CPR.

“The fuse went out we need to reignite it,” Woo Geun told Yoo Ji who was trying to not focus on the yelling inside of the room.

“Have you tried to turn off the main power and turn it on again?” Yoo Ji asked. 

“Yes, it didn't do anything” he responded. Yoo Ji took a look at the panel and found that some wires were not fully connected which is what caused the fuse to be blown.

“Do you have gloves?” Yoo Ji asked. He nodded and handed her some heavy-duty gloves. She put them on and grabbed the blue wire and tightened its connection with the yellow wire. She looked at the panel one more time and flipped the switch off and then on. The light was back up.

After the patient was stable, Mo Yeon started doing the tests on Chi Hoon and getting a sample of his blood, they would have to send it to the U.S. military for testing. Yoo Ji got up from the floor and took off the gloves. 

“Where did you learn to fix lights?” Woo Geun asked curiously.

“I read powerhouse manuals in my spare time” she sarcastically said.

“If the off/on thing doesn't work, usually that means that something is loose,” she told him as she threw the gloves back to him and walked out. 

She was still hungry but it seems like every time she is going to get food something happens. Some of the doctors set up their work in the common room and were vaccinating people. Yoo Ji went by the fridge to pick up her bread. When a commotion happened, and she found multiple men coming in, and behind them Agus. he smiled cynically at her when he noticed her. Fatima gasped and started running when Mo Yeon came and stood in between them. Woo Geun was right behind the doctor and started murmuring into his radio. 

“Long time no see, Mun” Agus addressed Yoo Ji.

“I would say it’s a pleasure but I’d be lying” Yoo Ji gritted out. 

His eyes flickered to Fatima for a split second and he clenched his jaw and his hand felt his stomach. Yoo Ji tilted her head, that’s where Fatima shot him. The ghost of the bullet will always be there. 

Agus started moving forward closer to Mo Yeon and Fatima, when Yoo Ji finally noticed Gwang Nam behind him, looking uneasy. He made eye contact with Yoo Ji and warned her to not make any rash decisions. His eyes lowered to one of the men and Yoo Ji’s eyes followed; they were armed. 

Shi Jin and Dae Young burst through the door and approached the scene. Shi Jin stood between Agus and Mo Yeon.

“It’s good to see familiar faces,” Agus started, “Former comrade, my lifesaver, and my little red rose” he addressed Shi Jin, Mo Yeon, and Fatima.

“Do you think he's come to be tested for the M3 virus?” Mo Yeon asked Shi Jin in Korean. 

“Virus? We already tested negative. Apparently the U.S. military loves me more than when I was the Delta Force Captain,” David Agus responded to what he thought the doctor asked, he was right but that didn't make him less of an asshole. 

“Watch your mouth” Shi Jin growled out. Agus put up his hands and shook his head.

“Okay, we can catch up next time, I am here to visit my Korean friend; Mr. Jin” Agus took a seat and relaxed.

“Your friends aren’t welcome here, so...get lost” Shi Jin told him. Yoo Ji wanted to applaud, but instead, she mentally scoffed, she didn't think Agus and his men would leave without what they came here for. 

“Well, I can catch up with him another time, but I heard my stuff is here,” Agus said with casualness, Yoo Ji didn't understand if it was from stupidity or ego. Yoo Ji raised her eyebrows, Agus wasn't the type to give up easily, what the hell is he planning.

“Can I see that instead?” Agus grinned.

“I will give you 10 seconds to get out of my face” Shi Jin paused. 

“10, 9-” Agus shook his head and put his hand in his pocket, immediately the Alpha team pulled out their weapons and aimed at Agus and his men. Gwang Nam moved and got closer to Agus. his eyes never flickering anywhere else but on his target. Yoo Ji watched him. The doctors who were still vaccinating halted and stared as the situation quickly rose. This isn’t the first time Alpha team has raised their arms in the face of threat. 

Agus slowly pulled out his hand from his coat, revealing two glass bottles. 

“You son of a bitch!” Yoo Ji exclaimed. He looked back at her.

“Ah, so you know what this is” he responded, ignoring her insult, he clicked the glasses together. Mo Yeon squinted and realized what the bottles were.

“It's an immunoglobulin.”

“This is for you, I couldn't come empty-handed. Please bring him back, I have a lot to say to him” he looked at Mo Yeon. 

He looked around, “looks like everyone is busy, so we shall go,” he smirked and started backing up and moving towards the exit. Gwang Nam and Cheol Ho walked backward still their weapons raised and escorted them out. 

“He seems to have known about the US. Military plans” Dae Young stated.

“As well as our strategy” Shi Jin added, Shi Jin sighed and turned to look at Dae Young with an uneasy look. 

“Strengthen the security around the barracks” Shi Jin instructed him. 

Nurse Ha and Mo Yeon had a conversation but it was too quiet for Yoo Ji to hear, her eyes wandered to Gwang Nam and found him already staring at her. She stared right back. She wasn't pissed off, but she was mad that he didn't respect her privacy. But then again it's not like she doesn't try to dig up his information too. Yoo Ji mentally groaned and broke eye contact, she was being a hypocrite, but she didn't want his pity. She left the scene and went somewhere else to eat her sandwich in peace. 

A few hours later she saw the local police arrive on base, she walked closer before pulling one of the soldiers,

“Where is captain Yoo?” she asked. 

“Alpha team went to retrieve the medicine,” he responded.

Yoo Ji looked at the car again and found the leader of the gang that they beat up sitting there, smiling. The police work for whoever pays the most. Yoo Ji scowled and started making her way to the car.

They were dragging Fatima to the car when Mo Yeon came out and was talking them out of taking the girl. The gang leader came out of the car and whispered to the policeman. Then she watched as both Mo Yeon and Fatima got in the car. Yoo Ji shook her head and looked for one of the cars on base to follow them. She quickly got in a jeep and sped behind them, making sure to stay a distance behind them to not alert the police. She thanked god it wasn't one of the marked military cars and was a solid green. She quickly sent a text to Cheol Ho telling him that she’s following the car that took Mo Yeon. She hoped he would see it soon. 

 -The next morning- 

*Shi Jin and Dae Young stayed with Myung Ju the whole night making sure she was okay after the medicine was administered. Shi Jin noticed that Mo Yeon was gone and went to ask Min Ji about it when she told him that Mo Yeon left with the police because they wanted to arrest Fatima.*

Right at that moment, Shi Jin’s radio went off with Cheol Ho’s panicked voice.

“Doctor Kang Mo Yeon has been taken by the police, and Mun Yoo Ji is tailing them, she sent me a text message last night but I didn't see it until now”

Shi Jin went to grab one of the cars, when Gwang Nam came out, looking panicked. 

“One of the cars is gone, Yoo Ji has it but she’s not armed,” he told his Captain. 

“I’ll find them, don’t worry” Shi Jin nodded assuringly to Gwang Nam.

Shi Jin was gone for four hours, when he came back he looked extremely angry, and unstable. He radioed Dae Young to Check on Myung Ju.

“I think the medicine is working” Dae Young responded.

“That’s a relief” 

“Were you able to find Yoo Ji?” Dae Young asked him to be briefed on the situation. He didn't know whether to laugh or yell at her actions.

“No,” Shi Jin told him, looking away. Yoo Ji was caught and was probably hidden somewhere in Agus’s safe house, along with Mo Yeon. he couldn't tell anyone.

“I’ll be going out for a bit, I won't be able to come to see you before I go, though,” Shi Jin told Dae Young

“Are you going somewhere- Myung Ju is waking up, I’ll call you back as soon as I can” Dae Young’s hurried voice called out but Shi Jin was already dressed and ready to go. He was cladded in all black.

-A few hours earlier-

“I can't believe I got caught, this is ridiculous” Yoo Ji murmured as she struggled against the ropes. She just woke up after being knocked out for the night. She looked around and saw that it was a bare room, nothing in it except its bare walls. She had forgotten her radio and they took her phone, she scowled herself for not bringing the radio she could’ve radioed the soldiers for help. Yoo Ji mentally groaned, she even knows her location goddamn it! The doors clicked open and it revealed Agus and the guy that faked being in the UN. 

“Hello, Mun Yoo Ji” Agus said to her as he crouched and tilted her head towards him when she refused to look at him. 

“You know, this is the third time I’ve been kidnapped, it’s getting old,” she said with a sarcastic tone before glaring at him.

“It wouldn’t happen so much if you minded your own business,” Agus said with a fake frown on his face as he gripped her chin harder.

“I can’t help it, my sense of heroism won’t let me sleep” Yoo Ji retorted back. 

“Just like your sense of right and wrong is skewed the wrong direction” she snapped at him, taking him by surprise when she buttheaded him in the head. He winced and glared at her, she smirked back.

“You bitch!” he hissed back, he backhanded her. Yoo Ji spits out the blood collecting in her mouth. 

“This is where you’re wrong, no one knows you’re here, no one will come to save you this time” he stated with a sadistic smile.

“This is where the fun begins” he patted her redding cheek. He signaled the brown-haired boy to tape her mouth shut.

“You should tell me your name, I can't keep on calling Fake U.N. guy all the time” Yoo Ji started before he taped her mouth shut and glaring at her. She rolled her eyes at him, he won’t tell her his name then.

They left her room and locked the door. She started working on the knots, they were tighter than she remembers, but that just meant she had to take longer to unravel them. Once she got the knots off, she removed the tape on her mouth and started working on her feet.

“Huh, they changed the guy that ties up their hostages, they’re a lot sturdier” she murmured to herself. She picked the lock with a bobby pin that she had in her pocket. She doesn’t wear bobby pins but she knows how useful they can be in situations like this. She watched the shadows from under the door and made sure she didn't hear anyone outside her door, before opening the door. She checked the hallway. It was empty. 

She crept down the hallway trying to find the room they had Mo Yeon or Fatima in. Instead, she stumbled upon a room full of children, she motioned for them to be quiet. She worked on their knots.

“Don’t move or make noises, I will come back for you when I find my friends, okay?” she told them in Arabic, making sure they understood. There was a camera inside the room. She got out one more time but forgot about checking so she was seen by a guard, she was able to disarm him quickly without making too much noise, she didn't knock him out but grabbed his neck. 

“Where is Agus keeping the Doctor and Fatima?” she asked harshly, squeezing his neck, making his choke.

“Not here. Not here, they went to meet the Captain” he choked out when she saw how reluctant he was about giving information. She smiled and punched him, knocking him out completely. She grabbed one of the ropes the kids were tied in and tied him up. 

“Watch him, make sure he doesn’t escape,” she told the kids and winked at them. She got out again, this time being more careful. She was able to get a good look around when she stumbled upon a room that seemed like the main room that the men hung out in. There were at least 6 there at the moment. She hid her body behind the wall and listened in. they were talking about what they were going to do with the money they get from trafficking the children. 

Suddenly she was grabbed from the back and thrown onto the floor, in front of all six men, now seven. 

“Oh hey guys, how y’all doing?” she chuckled as she got up.  They didn't respond, they just charged without a second thought. She dropped into a crouch and stuck out her leg and tripped two men, then stood up and avoided a punch to her nose.

“Don’t touch the face, it’s the moneymaker, I still need to be able to get married guys” she joked as she grabbed someone’s fist and brought it down to the groundbreaking of his knuckles.

She turned around and quickly ducked to avoid smashing her nose. But she wasn’t able to avoid a punch to the gut. She groaned in pain and quickly elbowed the attacker in the head so he’d knock out. She heaved as the pain slowly spread in her abdomen. Another fist flew towards her and she couldn't avoid it, slowly she gave up trying to fight them and instead she focused on avoiding their attacks. 

She couldn't overpower seven grown men and was thrown into her holding cell with knots tights there before. She sighed in pain as her body ached from the fight. She smiled though. While they were distracted she was able to hide a pocket knife in her pants while she was fighting them. She maneuvered to grab it from her back pocket, but pain seared from her shoulder.

“Okay, a break first then I’ll try again” she bit her lip and slumped against the wall. Her erratic breathing was all she could hear. Her mind cleared from her racing thoughts, her breathing started to calm down. She made up her mind, once she hears Agus come back she will get out of the ropes and find Mo Yeon. it would be more effective if she tried to escape and found Mo Yeon immediately instead of wandering around.

Yoo Ji opened her eyes again, groaning, she heard the sound of a car pulling in, he’s back. She heard a bunch of footsteps thundering. The henchmen are going to meet their leader. She winced while moving her shoulder, the pain was there but it wasn’t too bad. She got out the pocket knife and started cutting the rope. She’ll have better luck this time.

[chimbbles]

anybody ever thinks about doctor!hendery? because that’s the first thing that popped into my mind the second I saw him

T/W: mentions of blood, and I'm sorry I keep bringing up tetanus I don't mean to mock it or anything

it wasn’t a big deal, but the constant ringing in your head was getting harder to differentiate between a migraine and your incessant worries building up

days ago you were fixing up a shelf from ikea, your roommate having suggested you guys get a proper apparatus to house your various clutters

both of you went at it for the whole night, after coming home from a long day’s worth of work and neither of you denied the tiny spark of regret for getting something you can’t really handle at 1am in the morning

at last, the cheap metal frame is up, a job well done rewarded by crashing into the couch and dozing off right there

morning came and the shelf was thoroughly forgotten, even with its huge size propped right in front you

the effect of the iconic, “I’m late for work”

throwing yourself off the couch you ignored your hard work and skidded past absentmindedly, until it reminded you with a nasty gash in the shower

if your pinky toe was stinging in the water, it felt way worse when soap ran down your body

you had to stop and check, clenching your teeth at the act of rinsing off the soap to get a good look, and voila 

a fresh cut just below your cuticle, long and crimson till it reaches the joint

you definitely don’t have time for this

so you slap on some antibacterial cream, stick on a band-aid and call it class one first aid with 5 minutes till work starts

the day was: bad

not only you had to run, your shoes covered your wounded toe and you honestly doubt it does more to protect rather than harm it

your boss was obviously not impressed, and you’re stuck with a self appointed adult detention with a foul, cold sandwich titled gruesome lunch; at the set venue of your cubicle

having been reminded by the constant ache on your toe, you made it a point to text your roommate, informing them you two had built a death machine

they, however, took the joke a little too literally, and from the moment after lunch, they kept texting you to get it checked out

“what if it’s tetanus?”

“you could die from an infection!”

“are you sure the cream isn’t expired?”

“did you apply it properly”

“get it checked out you might be at risk”

and that’s why you’re here man no pun intended

where once again, things weren’t this serious, and were blew out of proportion

your self appointed detention unfortunately lasted for days, long as your boss was happy, and your punishment was a huge project with a short deadline

you pulled overtime for a straight 3 days now, and the projects almost there, just one day left

the all-nighter you suffered through proved efficient when you finished the project at near 5am in the morning, rumours of company ghosts no longer scare you when you roam amongst them as a comrad 

your zombified limbs pack up by themselves, brain too damaged from the cups of coffee chugged down your throat at the ungodly hours

your roommate’s nagging makes its appearance again, buzzing through your brain like a broken record

“you could have tetanus, it’s metal!”

you remember there’s a hospital on the route back home, so why not? staying up longer it doesn’t quite matter at this point

the reception desk threw a fit when they heard you connect the words ‘tetanus’ and ‘a few days ago’

that’s how you end up in line at the ER, instead of the intended clinic visit

it’s eerily chilly, with the bland white walls staring back at you

without you knowing it; the whirring of the busy machines and clinking of metal appliances lulls your tired figure to sleep, head leaning back and mouth open in a silent snore

“oh my goodness they blacked out”

“we need help here!”

within seconds your body was hauled onto a stretcher and pulled away in a whim, straight into a private room with an unsuspecting doctor

“came in saying they might have tetanus and the wound’s a few days old. ER’s full from a car crash and they just blacked out in the hall,”

“temperature’s rising, I think the fever started to set in, if you could take a look first dr.wong-”

“sure, sure”

‘dr.wong’ rounds the edge of his table to plant himself beside you, and you think the only regret you don’t have for the night is seeing his handsome face

he reads the thermometer before plucking the pen lodged at the opening of his white coat,

“okay, I need you to focus on this pen, follow it with your eyes, alright?”

of course he doesn’t wait for your agreement before waving the pen in front of you, and your slow brain can’t receive stimuli that well while it’s raving on caffeine 

“I’m getting slow response, fetch the vaccine now,”

one of the nurses hurriedly leaves the room, leaving one to stay and help the doctor,

he picks up the stethoscope from his desk and plugs the two ends into his ears, “alright, I need you to breathe for me,”

“and check the wound, please”

the nurse nods and springs into action, and your brain-- finally-- comes back to life

your grab the hand that’s holding the metal plate with both of yours, surprising him and making him go wide-eyed

but what do you say???

it could be tetanus but you don’t feel unwell at all, and you really, really don’t want a pissed off nurse to glare at you for the false alarm

also, you don’t want anyone to look at your ugly toes

“are you okay? does it hurt?”

the nurse stops taking off your shoe at the mention of pain, and waits for further instructions from the doctor

you bite down the embarrassment for your lame excuse, and gesture roughly to your throat, “....water”

they both share a concerned look, before the nurse moves and heads towards the door with a “I’ll be right back doctor”

now that you’re left with him alone, you feel less anxious about the whole situation, and sit up properly to talk to him

“I don’t have tetanus,”

you can see him processing your words before he lets out a hearty chuckle, “having tetanus isn’t illegal or contagious, we won’t throw you in quarantine,”

“no, no, I told them I don’t think it’s tetanus, it’s merely a cut from metal-- yes, but it’s not infected or anything, I just came here for a confirmation,”

he pauses to mull over your words, before taking off your shoe and tugging at your socks,

“I’m fine, really, I think this was a mistake-”

your socks successfully comes off, and he’s tentatively ripping your band-aid off, trying not to provoke the wound any further

when the wrapping comes off, he’s not too impressed by his present, which you think he fully expects a nasty, nasty wound, with yellow mucus oozing out from the opening and rotten flesh scent-- instead of a clean, clear, thread sized cut

“and I didn’t black out, I’m just very tired and the coffee’s not helping,”

he looks up from your foot and seems so confused, so you do him a favour to explain at the best your brain allows you to

by the time the nurse is back, you two had ran through a quick summary of your activities for the past few days, and her cup of water is the perfect solution to a real, dry throat

“patient does not have tetanus, a false alarm, but they’re still gonna require a shot, just in case,”

he gestures to your foot and she looks fairly annoyed, but says nothing at the presence of a doctor

she excuses herself to help out outside, and dr.wong sits back at his desk to wait for the vaccine, while you lay your head down to rest

“I think she hates me,”

he laughs, “nah, we just haven’t had a tetanus case in a while, I think she got too worked up,”

the other nurse comes back with your vaccine, and helps clean up your arm for the injection, “you’re not scared of needles, are you?”

you can taste the amusement in the air, tension lifted and light in the air thanks to his teasing, “patient does not have an infection, but is taking a shot for proper measures, and the high body temp is caused from lack of sleep for days, and a slightly inflamed liver, does not require further care, but a follow up is needed in a month’s time,”

the nurse scribbles your prescription while he stabs your arm with the long needle, and you try your best not to panic

after the nurse leaves the room, you two are left alone once again, and the ambiguous question hangs in the air, “am I allowed to leave now?”

he peers up from his book, “yes, but it’s 5:37am now, and my shift ends at 6; if you could stay a bit longer,” he trails off,

he senses your confusion and hurriedly explains himself, “I’m trying to avoid having breakfast with someone, and I’m no longer needed for emergency cases, it would be nice to have some peace and quiet,”

“you could take a nap-- I’ll wake you at 6,”

“can you put in a good word for me with the nurses?”

“deal.”

“can we eat breakfast too?” words kind of jumbled up from your fatigue

he takes a bit longer to respond, and by the time he does, you don’t hear it-- having already fallen asleep on the white stretcher,

“sure, that’ll be nice.”

[winchesters-favorite-girl]

Flatline-Part Four

A/N: Jensen and his sixteen year old daughter get into an argument before she goes out for a night with some friends. A few hours later, Jensen gets a call that is going to change his family’s life forever.

Word Count: 1,733

Warnings: Car accident, angst

Masterpost

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Jensen sat silently in the waiting room, glancing up every time someone went into the back of the medical surgical intensive care unit where his daughter laid. He wanted to be back there with you but hospital staff still wouldn’t let him. He just wanted to see you, he needed to see you breathing with his own two eyes.

“Are you sure I can’t get you a coffee or anything?” The woman at the front desk asked. She had been observing Jensen since he arrived to the unit’s waiting room. At first he had been nervous, pacing and refusing to sit down. Then he became angry, coming up to her every fifteen minutes asking her what was taking so long. Now he appeared to be exhausted and in need of a bed to pass out on.

Looking up at the woman Jensen shook his head, “No thank you, I just need to be back there with my daughter.” He replied.

Giving him a kind smile she nodded her head, “It shouldn’t be much longer, if they haven’t given the okay in a half hour I’ll call them to see what’s going on.”

“Thank you.” Jensen responded, thankful for her kindness. The lady returned to her desk, leaving Jensen alone with his thoughts and his phone that seemed to be going off every few minutes with someone wanting to know what happened or was asking for an update.

Letting out a sigh he rubbed his face with both his hands before resting his head in his hands as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. In a matter of hours his life was turned upside down. Twelve hours ago he was living the dream; amazing job, wealth, a beautiful family, now he was stuck in a nightmare that he desperately wanted to wake up from.

“Now she might cry a little, but that’s very normal, my son is ten and still gets upset every time he has to get a shot.” The doctor warned Jensen as your father nervously watched your doctor tap the shot she was about to give you. He had one hand placed on your exposed tummy to keep you safe and was softly rubbing it to keep you calm, or maybe he was doing it to keep himself calm.

It was time for your immunizations and at two months old Jensen was extremely nervous to watch your doctor stick the large needle into your small body.

“It’ll be okay honey.” Jensen’s mother, your grandmother, Donna, told him as she placed her hand on his shoulder. Jensen had asked her to come along for help since he was still a new father, but Donna suspected he wanted her there to provide emotional support.

“She’s just so little.” Jensen mumbled as he continued to eye the needle in the doctor’s hand.

“I know, but she needs these to make sure she doesn’t get sick in the future. She won’t even remember this, there will just a few tears that daddy cuddles will cure.” Donna told him with a smile.

“You ready?” The doctor asked, looking at Jensen to confirm he was okay.

Nodding his head Jensen kept his hand on your stomach but moved his other hands so that it was cupping the top of your head in a comforting nature, “It’ll be okay babygirl, just a few pinches and we’ll blow this joint.”

The doctor shot Donna a knowing look before gently gripping your leg to give you the first injection, which caused you to let out a wail unlike any Jensen had heard from you before. His head shot up to look at the doctor, angered that the shot had caused you to react in such a way.

“I thought it wasn’t supposed to hurt her too mcuh!” Jensen cried out, glancing back to his mother for support.

“Jay, honey, you never know how a baby is going to react. I promise it’s not hurting her that much.” Donna tried to comfort her son.

Grabbing another shot the doctor grabbed the same leg and did another injection, which caused you to let out another wail. “I promise Mr. Ackles, it hurts for a moment and then it goes away. It’s not a pleasant feeling but I assure you that she’ll be okay.”

You continued to lay there crying as Jensen did his best to comfort you, “I’m sorry small fry.” He said as he placed kisses on your cheek, “It’ll be over soon.”

The doctor picked up your other leg before injecting it, this time you only let out a small cry, making Jensen think you were calming down.

“Only one more.” The doctor told your family as she grabbed the last immunization. Again, she gently gripped onto your leg and gave you the last shot, which caused you to let out the loudest wait yet.

“Oh babygirl.” Jensen said as he picked you up and comforted you in his arms, “I’m so sorry, Daddy let the mean doctor give you shots but I promise it was for a good reason.” He dramatically told you as he rocked you in his arms.

Your doctor let out a laugh as she approached you with multiple band-aids, “Let me just put these on, you can take them off later tonight.” She placed them on your legs before giving you a small pat on your back, “Good job Y/N, you were brave. I won’t have to see you for another two months when we get to do this all over again,”

“Two months?” Jensen stated in an unbelieving tone that caused Donna and the doctor to laugh.

“Yup, gotta get these vaccines done and then I’ll be seeing her less and less.” She explained, throwing away the trash, “I’ll see you later Y/N, Jensen, Donna, you take care.”

Donna leaned down and picked up your car seat while Jensen grabbed the diaper bag with you still in his arms, “Well I can tell you one thing Mom, this one’s gonna hate going to the doctor.”

“Daddy,” You whined as you cradled your arm in the opposite hand, “It really hurts!”

“I know sweetheart,” Jensen replied while he gently pushed your back so that you were following the nurse, “Those people took a picture of your arm to see if it’s broken, once they know what’s wrong with it they’ll be able to make it better.”

“But I don’t want it to be broken, I need it!” Your six year old voice cried out in the middle of the emergency room.

“If it is it’ll be okay, they can fix it. I promise.” Your father assured you as you returned behind the curtain the nurse led you too.

“The doctor will be over as soon as he reads the x-ray.” The nurse told your father before leaving.

Jensen carefully helped you onto the bed before taking a seat on a swivel chair a few feet away. You laid down quietly as you continued to cradle your arm, only now it was laid across your chest with your opposite hand supporting your elbow.

“You can take a nap if you want to honey.” Jensen said to you as he noticed your eyes were becoming heavy.

“Can’t.” You mumbled, “Not comfortable.”

“Want me to get another pillow to rest your arm under?” He asked.

You shook your head.

“You want some water?”

Again, you shook your head.

“Food?”

With another shake of your head Jensen sighed.

“What do you want me to do to help ya kiddo?” He questioned.

You were silent for a moment before speaking, “Will you hold me?” You asked in a quiet voice.

Jensen was surprised for a moment before standing up, “Of course I will sweetheart.” Maneuvering you so that your arm wasn’t jostled, Jensen slid in beside you before lifting you up so that you were on his lap with your head and injured arm leaning against his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and your uninjured arm was resting on his.

“Comfy?”

“Mmmhmmm,” You replied, holding onto your father tightly “I was scared.”

Jensen felt his heart crack at your words, “Scared of what?”

“The doctor kept hurting me when he poked my arm, I don’t like doctors. I was scared you were gonna leave me in that room and not come back.” You revealed.

“I had to babygirl, it’s the rules in the x-ray area.” Jensen told you, wanting to make sure you knew he didn’t want to leave you, “I promise you there’s nowhere you can go that I won’t follow you.” Jensen placed a kiss on your forehead, “You never have to be scared when I’m around, okay?”

“Okay.”

“She hates doctors.” Jensen mumbled as he continued to stare off into space.

“Uhh, Mr. Ackles.” The ICU visitor desk manager said, giving him a curious look.

Shaking his head Jensen brought himself back to reality, “Yes?”

“Y/N is settled in her room now, you can go back if you’d like.” She told him with a soft smile.

“Thank you.” Jensen replied as he shot up and took the visitor badge that she was holding out to him.

“You’re welcome, you’ll go through those doors and to the left. She’s in room 4509, her nurse will be right outside the room; she’ll probably want to speak with you for a moment.” She let him know.

Jensen entered the doors after he was buzzed in and followed the hall to room 4509 where a woman wearing scrubs was just closing the door.

“Oh, you must be Mr. Ackles.” The woman introduced herself, “My name is Cassie, I’m Y/N’s nurse today.”

“Jensen,” Your father introduced himself, “Can I see her?”

“Of course,” Cassie responded, “You can spend some time with her and I’ll be there to answer any questions I can. Will this be your first time seeing her since she was admitted?” Nodding his head Cassie gave Jensen a small smile, “Okay, I want to warn you, it’s gonna be a bit of a shock. She’s been through a lot, she’s got bruises, there are wires and tubes everywhere.”

“Okay.” Jensen replied, flashes of you broken in a bed, his worst nightmare was crossing his mind.

Cassie opened the door and Jensen couldn’t move from where he stood as he took the sight of you in.

Even his nightmares weren’t this bad.

Next

[saymypiece]

This nobody’s journal of hot, boring afternoons…

Day 21 (7.4.2020 - Tuesday)

I did not sleep through the night, again! What on Earth! On the other hand, I worked out, a little, but still a workout. As in I played with my dog. She got a hold my bro/sis old silambam belt and goes around playing with it. So grabbed on to the other end and had a tug of war with her, which was fun, until she realised I wasn’t much of a competition and got bored. :S It’s alright, I will prove to her that I am worthy of her time. I shall try again. Practice makes perfect Koko, you adorable snob! 

Day 20 (6.4.2020 - Monday)

Omgoodness its day 20! I cannot believe we have been stuck at home without a choice for so long. I keep hearing of doctors and nurses falling ill, scientists working so hard to create a vaccine. I can’t help but wonder what this virus is all about. This thing we can’t see is causing so much chaos, panic and fear in everyone. And the way I see it, it’s not going away anytime soon. But our God is God over the impossible! He is the only way this virus will be washed out. This time at home, especially during this time leading up to Easter, has allowed me to spend some time in devotion and the Bible. And what I have learnt is we are not alone. Our time on Earth, though temporary, is designed to be fulfilling and beautiful. So I’m embracing that. No matter what comes against me, it shall not prosper. For my God is for me. On the other hand, I have not been able to sleep. It’s been challenging to 

Day 19 (5.4.2020 - Sunday)

As usual, Sunday was enriching and chill. Not that every other day is not chill, but Sundays, they are quite a little more chill than other days. At 3pm, I joined a group chat with some friends from church. Fun.

Day 18 (4.4.2020 - Saturday)

After last week’s shopping debacle, I was terrified about going out there with mum again. Nevertheless, we had needs and they needed to be bought, so I got ready with my gear, the usual suspects of masks, gloves and a hand sanitiser. This time, the mall staff were even more strict. They checked body temperatures before anyone could even enter the building. And only one person per family was allowed in. So, yes, we kinda put on our inner Meryl Streeps and acted the strangers we never knew we could play so well. They believed it. Heck, at one point, even I believed it. My mom, I think, may BE, Meryl Streep, I don’t know. Anyway, no drama during shopping, everything was perfect. I even got to keep my shorts intact the whole time. No, it was a different shorts, I wash them everyday. Yes, I’ve got a whole lot of loose shorts okay? They’re comfy! What some more you want?

Day 17 (3.4.2020 - Friday)

Another Friday has come and gone. There is really nothing new happening, but today, I got to catch up with the darling! You don’t feel time passing you by until you actually do something you used to do very, very often, years ago. We used to Skype and video call all the time until work and life happened. Then suddenly, it had all come to an abrupt end. This conversation felt like such a treat. I felt like I was catching up with her entire lifetime. Well, a lot can happen in over six years. Feeling so blessed for technology and this time we get to reconnect and spend quality time with each other. 

Day 16 (2.4.2020)

Ok so, sleep lost it’s way and didn’t really get back to me, blardee heartbreaker! Didn’t do much other than write and hang around all day. So I decided, to pick up my guitar and do somethin with it. :) You Say by Lauren Daigle

Day 15 (1.4.2020 - Wednesday)

I know it’s meant to be April’s Fool today, but like the rest of the world, it didn’t mean a thing. I mean, our situation right now seems like a giant prank anyway. There is no need to scare anyone else about, anything else. The greatest prank in the world right now would be to just go up to someone who’s NOT your family, and sneeze or cough right at their faces. Once they know you’re pranking em, they’d either laugh or slap you so hard, you begin to foretell your f-f-future. Even watching old YouTube videos of interviews or clips from shows where there is some amount of coughing or sneezing involved makes me cringe so hard! And I’m not the only one. Read the comments. Once thing I am certain of, whether a vaccine is found or not, is that once this MCO is over, everybody is gonna be a germaphobe/hygiene-junkies - always washing hands and sneezing into handkerchiefs and such. Anyway, goodnight, hope sleep finds me tonight.

Day 14 (31.3.2020 - Tuesday)

Oh praise the Lord I’m alright. At least, I think I’m alright. I don’t feel fuzzy, I have no fever, no headache. I was awake super early and I decided to feed my three dogs, for the first time! Let my bro and sis sleep in a little this morning. I had no idea how to do it. I just winged it based on what I thought is normally done, and it worked. The three ding dongs listened, sat patiently, ate sweetly and gave me some kisses. And then, I put on a fan for them, coz there was no air movement out. It was so weird, it was early morning and it was so hot with zero movement in the air. Man, we really need the rain!

Day 13 (30.3.2020 - Monday)

I am so not feeling good today! My mind is racing. Was it the shopping at Tesco on Saturday? Was it the Lontong flavoured Chef noodles I had for dinner last night? What is it? I have a bad headache, body ache and my brain is a little fuzzy, like when I have a fever. When I asked my sister to check my temperature, she confirmed there is a slight fever. Paracetamol. I need it. And a good shower. Had both. Going to sleep again. Maybe I’m tired, exhausted. I’ve told everyone in the house to stay away. Lord, protect papa. And heal me. Let this not be…it.

Day 12 (29.3.2020 - Sunday)

Time for church online. Mummy made friend mee hoon and some Portuguese tarts. It was one of those quiet days. Didn’t do much today.

Day 11 (28.3.2020 - Saturday)

Nope. Zoom didn’t let me down. I let Zoom down! My frickin alarm didn’t go off, or maybe it did and I didn’t hear it, I don’t know. All I know is I wasn’t up until 11.20am! The meeting was supposed to start at 11am! #muchembarassed Thankfully they were all in conversation while waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth. Just washed my face, tamed my hair and appeared online. Connect was awesome though. The two newcomers were great. Kinda weird we didn’t shake hands or hug, kinda weird we literally met face-to-face, online, but it was great! Cheers to new experiences, I say. Speaking of new experiences, I have never liked shopping. Like, ever. I don’t enjoy walking around, I don’t enjoy going to shops after shops after shops. Basically, I’m most men when it comes to shopping. Today, my mom and I had to run to Tesco to stock up on some of our essentials that are running low. I wore a shorts and t-shirt but with two masks, gloves, and in my pockets, Clorox anti-bacterial wipes and hand-sanitiser. We strategised how and what to touch before entering the store. I was going to be the one doing the touching, cos I wore the gloves, and my mom, wearing one glove, was to be the one pointing out what I was supposed to pick out from the shelves. Carefully, but swiftly, we began picking out everything on our list. My heart, for some reason, was drumming like a Taiko drum in my chest. And to make matters worse, sometime during our walking through the aisles, my mom completely ditched our strategy and started touching the things on the shelves! Like, ALL things! Okay, granted, I wasn’t fast enough for her but PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, okay? Just… keep your hands to yourself and straighten ONLY the index finger. How difficult is that strategy? Now, she’d gone and made my mind spin round and round tryna think of how the virus would travel, or get stuck on her phone (which I sanitised the moment we got out), or what her gloved hand touched and what she could and could not touch anymore not that is has been exposed. Arghh! Finally at the cashier, we more or less got in sync. Everything went according to plan, like which hand she would get her debit card out of my shorts pocket with and which hand she received it from the cashier with after the payment was made. It went pretty perfectly, with the slight risk of me losing my shorts because mummy decided to shove her hands so far down my pockets. The shorts was loose to begin with. Thankfully, with my firm grip, nothing untoward happened. We got out, got home, showered and washed all the clothes we were in. All good. Phew…

Day 10 (27.3.2020 - Friday)

Thankful for technology. It’s made life very easy. Even my mom, who is completely resistant of anything “technology” (because she thinks she would destroy the internet or something) has had to organise Zoom meets, coordinate her kindergarten teachers’ online lessons and activities - it’s been quite a trip seeing my mom grow into this technological wiz, so to speak. I joined her connect group today, had a good discussion. A little nervous about mine tomorrow morning. We will have two newcomers on board. Hopefully Zoom doesn’t let me down.

Day 9 (26.3.2020 - Thursday)

It’s the end of the day, and lo and behold, I have completed the pages I was meant to complete. Turns out, I didn’t have to do some of the last pages, so that saved me some work. I was right. I DO feel blind and like a bat after completing the job, but the satisfaction of a job completed is unmatched. The number of cases keep increasing by around 130 every day! It’s not even funny how people are still choosing to ignore this situation. We are already in day nine of the MCO and they still feel it’s alright to meet their friends and family in such a time as this. If only we all, collaboratively, stayed home for two weeks, we could actually curb this virus from spreading out. STOP GIVING IT TRANSPORT! Ugh! On the bright side, I am organising our Connect meet online.

Day 8 (25.3.2020 - Wednesday)

Quick update: Still on the project. I have managed to complete around 10 pages, mostly profiles. I am so surprised at how weirdly written everything is. On COVID-19, we are 300 cases short of 2000. It’s not looking good at all. And what’s worse, the government has extended the MCO to April 14. So instead of going back to work on 1 April, I would be jobless until 15 April. Lord, I surrender this to you. Let all that happens, happen according to your plan. I place my trust and hope in You, Lord. Amen.

Day 7 (24.3.2020 - Tuesday)

…aaaaaaadddd!!!! There are sooo many words in this, it doesn’t seem to have an end! 105 pages of THIS is more than I can bear!!! I’m gonna go nuts by the end of it, or blind! Anyway, I started on this the day before yesterday, but it has been a lot of, what my dad would call, broken focus. I just can’t seem to stay on the editing bit. I keep getting beckoned by either YouTube or Facebook or Instagram, and end the day without completing even one full page… so here we are. I have exactly two days to complete editing 103 pages of words. *takes a deep breath* RM530 is riding on this, man! Get it together and do it! I know RM530 seems little, but to me, after 5 months of RM0, it’s an upgrade I never thought I’d get. #suckitup

Day 6 (23.3.2020 - Monday)

Monday has arrived. I am refreshed, I have my mind set on the epilepsy article I am gonna write and the copy-editing project from the marketing department. I’m all set. I sent my interview questions to both the people I am meant to talk to. Under the current situation, I am not able to talk to them so email is the next best thing. Except an interview over Zoom would have been better, but they can’t seem to make it. Being researchers and lecturers and all, they don’t have much time on their hands…. unlike me. Anyway, that’s done. Now, continuing the project. Ohhhhmaaaiiiigaaa…

Day 5 (22.3.2020 - Sunday)

Oh Sunday. It was a really awesome Sunday service. It was truly something I think we all needed. The praise and worship was amazing, and allowed me to just soak in worship. Despite all the chaos and fear that I have in my heart and mind, I felt a peace wash over me. Suddenly I realised that the only reason for the fear in my heart is the unknown. But every “next step” we take is an unknown anyway, so why fear this one? I will keep praying, staying home, except during essential buys, washing my hands, working and doing pretty much everything I always do WITHOUT having fear in my heart.

Day 4 (21.3.2020 - Saturday)

What a total frickin crap-show! The numbers are increasing and I’ll tell you the truth, I’m afraid. Every time I wash my hands, I can’t stop wondering if I’ve washed them enough. There is just too much stake. My dad, his lungs are really not good and I am worried about what would happen should one of us get careless and carry this virus home from some essential grocery shopping. The only comfort I have right now is that my God is bigger. I know my God is bigger than all of this. I know my God is bigger than all of this!

Day 3 (20.3.2020 - Friday)

I know I wished for an eventful 2020, but my goodness, enough already! 

OMGIF already?? So, suddenly, the number of the infected in Malaysia hit 1000+. That is really too much! Who’s to blame? Why are there still cow dungs out and about on the roads, meeting friends and speaking their essentials words and letting their spits flow freely in the world and into each others’ ears? Don’t they know of a phone? There’s WhatsApp, Zoom, Hangout, Telegram, frickin Signal, Line, FB Messenger…heck, everything has a caller these days! *checks if Tinder has a caller* Not Tinder, thank goodness. Just…ugh…stop going out. *breathes* Meanwhile, my lovely brother gave us all his homemade Ais Malaysia and it was lovely! Like, it hasn’t properly rained in quite a few weeks now, and it is sooo hot. That Ais Malaysia was truly somewhat of a saving grace. And to top it off, my darling little sister made o-maki sushi, with the tuna and everything. Superb! Anyways, all things considered, the numbers locally are not too bad, is it? Is it? I’ll just have to keep washing my hands… “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti…”

Day 2 (19.3.2020 - Thursday)

#tbt like #tbeverydayforthelast5months ! 

This MCO doesn’t really make much of a difference for me since I was not working the last five months. This time around though, I wash my hands more, go out lesser, and can’t go out even if I wanted to. You know what? The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Home Edition is super awesome! I love it. It’s a breath of fresh air so I’ll have that to enjoy over this period. When we get out of this, I don’t think my hands will make it out “alive”. The number of times I wash my hands to the first verse of “Lose Yourself” is nuts!

Day 1 (18.3.2020 - Wednesday)

So, I started this to keep track of what is happening in this lovely, wonderful, fantastic nation during the Movement Control Order and also to me, as a… non-essential employee. Coz as long as I’m not working, I am not paid. Ok, let me rephrase that. As long as I am not present AT the office, then I’m not paid. Never been in this position, kinda worrying, but thankfully, I do have projects to complete to get me some kinda cash. Don’t know how its all gonna pan out. I am leaving all these worries to the Lord Almighty coz I know there is nothing I can do to change anything happening around me other than pray and stay home. These daily entries will be filled with dramatics and descriptive nothings, coz seriously, I can’t imagine another two weeks at home. So I AM gonna add some spice to this. Alright, so, first day was…err…normal. How’s that for spice? Whaaaat? I don’t know what to say in this okay? I am just…I just wanna remember what I went thru so…

[untcdstsofsmsh]

Midoriya always seemed fine. So, when he was found dead in his dorm room. Everyone was at a total loss. It had to be fake. There was no one the new holder of All for One could be gone just like that. There was no sign of force entry nor that he did it to himself. Izuku Midoriya had just simply passed away in his sleep.

It should��ve never happened.

He remembered the morning he found out, running breathless to the dorms, passed shocked, terrified, crying students and a few teachers who had made it before him. Passed Mic, Eraserhead, Lemillion, Nezu--

All Might had seen death. Despite all his efforts, he’d seen the pale, unmoving bodies of the dead and the telling stink that followed. How his skin and hair lost color and movement. How he laid too still.

He had to be carried out of the room. Apparently, Bakugo was there earlier, made to leave in much the same way.

Inko cried. She knew. Somehow, she knew. The second she entered the office, she looked like she was expecting the worst. Aizawa had to tell her, had to explain everything that they learned since Izuku’s body was picked up. How they don’t know what caused it, but that general trauma from hero training still held the risk of death in some students. Head trauma, extreme stress -- especially with this year -- and a small collection of other things could’ve killed the boy.

Aizawa speaks and he speaks very matter-of-factly, almost coldly.

How he could, Toshinori would never understand.

At the end of it all, Inko just looks at Toshinori, shoulders slumped, eyes red and puffy, lips quivering. The question behind her eyes shakes the veteran hero to his bones.

Why couldn’t you save him?

His cremation and funeral are held a few days later. All of the first years are there to pay respects, as well as a few teachers, older students, Eri...

Eri doesn’t stop crying for the whole service. Aizawa holds her tight to his chest in his suit, whispering how it wasn’t her fault, how she couldn’t have saved him, how she can’t save him now, he’s gone.

Toshinori can’t stand being near the memorial, turns to leave, tries to find somewhere he can be alone to grieve again--

Bakugo stands, leaning against the large doorway, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable. Weak. His hair is barely styled at all, his suit worn properly but dirty from him lingering outside.

When Bakugo finally looks up at Toshi, that same question echoes in his eyes.

Why couldn’t you save him?

Toshi’s quick to leave the church.

The school closes for a week. The police insist on doing an investigation. The school encourages parents and guardians to give their children updated check ups, vaccines, everything they can to ensure their children are healthy.

Nezu tries to contact Toshinori. He refuses to answer his phone. Refuses to go back to the school grounds.

Instead, he rents a car.

He can’t drive.

He rents one, anyway.

Not being able to drive is half the point, after all.

Still, damn him, he manages to figure out just enough to drive to the underside of one of the smaller, lesser used bridges. Drive to it, under it and ram the box of fiber glass and rubber hard into a support beam.

He blacks out for a while. Just long enough to hear cursing. The door’s ripped open, there’s coughing -- the smell is terrible and he notes there’s no airbag smothering him -- and a familiar voice calls out for him.

“All Might! ALL MIGHT!”

Eraserhead scrambles to cut him free of the seatbelt, checking him over before wrapping his arms around Toshi’s long body. Despite the difference between them being just over a foot, Eraserhead manages to cradled Toshi’s head and spine while carrying him to the cleared ground.

He’s furious.

“What the FUCK did you think you were doing!?”

Toshi couldn’t wrap his head around it. Probably because of his own growing head trauma. Probably because he’s still stuck on how the underground hero found him. Probably, even more so, that he was stuck trying to read the hero’s expression beyond his anger.

Half the angry words don’t register. He’s mad. Mad Toshinori would try and take his life. How he couldn’t kill himself because his ‘favorite’ died. How he couldn’t do this shit and not expect it to impact the kids -- HIS. KIDS.

“I killed him.”

The words are just enough to stop the raging river of rambling.

“... What?” There’s a warning there. Whatever Toshinori would say next better not be some bullshit self-deprecation. It better make the most fucking sense out of everything he’s ever said or done, or else.

“I killed him.” The words nearly choke him the second time. Tears well up in his eyes. “I... I’m responsible for Midoriya Izuku’s death.”

“Idiot.” Barely restrained anger is spat out in just one word before Eraserhead wills himself to calm down. “He died from unknown causes. The best we have to go off of is stress from that’s happened this year. You couldn’t control any of that.”

“It’s stress from his quirk.”

That catches his attention. Toshi breathes deep and explains everything. Each question is answered simply. Every secret about his quirk -- the quirk he’d given to Midoriya -- is laid out for the boy’s teacher to know.

When everything is said and done, Aizawa sits there, dumbfounded and ignoring the distressed calls over the small radio at his hip. He turns down the volume of Present Mic yelling for confirmation of locations, sits down next to Toshinori and stares at the car wreckage.

“... He was a child.”

“They’re all children.” Toshi pushes himself up from the ground, reasonably sure that nothing vital was broken or punctured and... well, if it was, it still served his purposes. “We expect the same out of all of them. This one just took a different route.”

“You gave him a power no child could ever hoped to master,” he presses, standing to follow the tall, slouching man. “And now that he’s shown he couldn’t have handled it, you try and dismiss it?!”

“If you have such deeply held issues with what I’ve done, then leave. Pretend you didn’t find me.”

“And then what?” The snap in Aizawa’s voice is harsher than usual. “Let you wallow in your self pity as you try and off yourself again?”

“Let me be, Aizawa-san.”

“So you can run away from this?”

“There’s no USE for me, Aizawa!”

The shorter man stops, lips pressed tight as Toshi’s voice raises to a shout.

“I had... One fucking job. To protect that quirk. To pass it down to a hero worthy of it. To train and protect them until they had it mastered. I was it’s keeper for well over thirty years, and just when I thought I could say I’d done at least a half decent job at this one thing my life was set up to do, I lose them both. One for All, a quirk with no equal, and Young Midoriya...”

The closest thing to a son he’d ever have.

He breathes deep. It hurts to breathe. Hurts to move. The adrenaline from the crash starts to lessen and he can finally feel the headache, the familiar ache of his ribs, a growing pain in his leg and arm.

Aizawa moves to catch him as he finally buckles under the pain.

“I’m useless,” he continues on. “This life... it has nothing else to live for.”

“Idiot,” Aizawa hisses to him. “You have forty other students waiting for you, at least half a world full of fans who’d worry--”

“All of who wouldn’t forgive me for what I’d done to that boy.”

“God DAMMIT, ALL MIGHT.” Pale fists bundle into piles of clothing, calm facade broken again to show his growing anger. “Fuck your self-righteous pride for one god damn minute and think beyond yourself!”

Toshi can’t help but flinch. Between his growing headache, vulnerability and Aizawa’s diminishing patience, it’s hard to put on a brave face. It’s hard to want to.

What was the point anymore?

“The amount of god forsaken hubris,” he hisses, “it takes to think so highly of your bad decisions is mind boggling.” Aizawa breathes, his dark eyes burning into Toshinori’s skull. “To think, your stupidity and grief can absolve you from everything else you’ve committed yourself to. You’re not done here, not with students who need your guidance, not with people who look up to you. And if you can’t see the worth in a life where you’re still needed, then consider it fore-fitted to me.”

Aizawa leaves him on the ground to stand, Toshinori blinking up at him incredulously. “What?”

“Your life belongs to me, now.” The pale man breathes deep and slow before pulling out the radio at his side. “You don’t get to decide how it ends, anymore.”

Not giving the blond a chance to argue or protest, Aizawa turns to report their location. Within minutes (tense and quiet) an ambulance arrives and carries Toshinori to the nearest hospital.

He hates hospitals. It doesn’t matter, though, because Aizawa makes it clear his threat isn’t just for show and tells Recovery Girl to call him as soon as Toshi starts acting like a fool. She seems surprised, but doesn’t question it.

X-rays. Casts. Oxygen. More x-rays to make sure his already jumbled and incomplete organs were as good as they could hope to get. It was a horrible visit, punctuated by Gran Torino’s and Recovery Girl’s very quiet visits. All Might doesn’t speak when given their rare inquiries: what happened? How? When? Why? He doesn’t speak and he doesn’t stop their assumptions: they know enough to know what he’d say, don’t they?

Aizawa comes in like a force of nature, anger simmering just below the surface the second his eyes land on Toshinori. Then he raises a bag of food.

“You will eat, All Might.” The forcefulness of his voice is a little startling, but his motions to prepare his meal are slow and careful.

Their visits continued on like this for a while, either with Aizawa bringing food or him coming with the accompanying nurse sent to help him eat. His anger came and went, but was always quiet and blunt.

It continued when he arrived to school again, Aizawa not leaving his side for a minute or otherwise forcing him to follow the other around. Paperwork, meal breaks, lesson planning -- anything short of restroom breaks meant Aizawa was there.

“I meant it when I said your life was mine, now.”

Toshi couldn’t help feeling like he had just burdened Aizawa with another responsibility. An entire other life to have to guard for however long he could. A fool to guide out of self-destruction.

It would just have to be that way, for now...

[evilsciencebros]

I’ll Wait For You

“Autobots confirmed. Commencing attack.” This was supposed to be a stealth mission, but when your partner is a hulking behemoth of blue and white terror, then stealth wasn’t really an option to begin with.

“I would really appreciate a boost.” Oil Slick says as retreats from the Autobot blasters and runs towards Grinder, who needs little to no instruction as he holds out his powerful arm for Oil Slick to jump on and hurl him into the air.

The cyclebot braces himself as he flies upwards and grips onto the nearest balconies of the security tower. Climbing over, he runs along the platform and slashes his claws at the unsuspected snipers aiming for Grinder’s large mass below. The Autobot doesn’t see him coming and falls over the railing and into the brawl pit below where his partner is firing a wave of enemy fire on the approaching Autobot grounders.

Oil Slick continues to climb each level, taking out another security guard. Who knew a radar tower would have such heavy security? He searches the entire facility before finally finding the control room. A simple firewall and he was into the mainframe, downloading the Autobot airfleet schematics and crippling the entire network with a virus of his own. Child’s play.

He quickly rejoins Grinder on the battlefield, who doesn’t seem to register the enemy’s ineffective blasts as he takes down the radar towers. The two work effectively despite their obvious different approaches to fighting. Oil Slick is quick on his pedes and good at getting close for the sharp blows, whereas Grinder is big on brute strength and attacking from a distance. They work off each other well.

Too caught up in the moment, Oil Slick can’t bring himself to pass up on such a perfect opportunity. Reaching into his sub compartment, the chemist pulls out a small phial of green pulsating liquid and flings it in the direction of the enemy, smiling as it shatters and unleashes a brown vapour over the facility.

The effects are instantaneous, with Autobots clutching at their throats and dropping to their knees. It’s better than anything he could have dreamed of. Unfortunately, it works too well. The Autobots panic, bumping into each other and spreading the virus. One doesn’t even notice Grinder until he bumps right into his leg.

“Grinder!” Panicking, Oil Slick rushes over to the larger mech, who has yet to figure out what is going on.

The disease spreads up his legs, corroding the metal and peeling it right off his hip joint. Pulling out a florescent blue vaccine from his other pocket, Oil Slick is by Grinder’s side as the behemoth finally drops to his knees, feeling the pain. The effect is undone by a simple injection, but the guilt is still there as Grinder nurses his leg.

“Hate it when you use that.” Grinder shakes his helm. “It’s unstable.”

“Don’t move.” Oil Slick says as he watches the wound heal. “It just needs a bit more tinkering then it’ll be perfect.”

“Perfect for what?” Grinder asks, ignoring his partner’s advice and climbing back to his pedes

“My opportunity to show Megatron just what a valuable asset I could be to his cause.” Oil Slick gestures to the destruction around them as the Autobots drop like flies under his toxin.

Grinder made a cross between a laugh and grunt. “Stick to what you’re good at, getting past enemy lines and sabotaging spaceships.” He pats the smaller mech on the back and effectively dodges the sharp claws aiming for his chassis.

“I was made for more than dismantling ruddy spacecrafts!”

“No we weren’t.” Grinder says with that simplistic wisdom he always seems to possess. “I was made to be a soldier, you were made to be a mechanic. We now use our skills for a different cause, but they are still within the guidelines of our function. I now aim at something else, and you take apart what you originally built.”

“How can you be so content with that?” Oil Slick cringes at the memory of his old, dreary life. “I refuse to be what they forged me to be. I have skills those fools at the Ministry of Science could only dream of possessing, if I had only been given clearance to change trades.”

“Is what it is.” Grinder shrugs and casually walks away from the carnage around them. “A motorbike will always be a motorbike, and a helicopter will always be a helicopter. You cannot change this.”

“Not with that attitude.” Oil Slick frowns but follows, having trouble keeping up with Grinder’s longer strides. “Why did you join this war if not to change the world?”

“I only wish to be treated as equal to all bots, regardless of function. There is nothing shameful about being forged for a set purpose. We perform it well and should be treated with respect for it.”

Oil Slick hums to himself and while he does agree with Grinder’s sentiment, he has higher goals in mind for what his short-sighted companion has in mind. A Cybertronian does not diverge from the path they were set on, but Oil Slick will be damned before he allows another to decide what he is and is not good at.

~

“What happened?”

“Been accepted into the Decepticon Heavy Brigade.” Grinder says, pointing to the plum purple band across his Decepticon symbol. “Handpicked by Lord Megatron himself. The Wreckers are sneaking behind enemy lines interrupting supply routes and demolishing shipyards. It is an important job and I accept it with honour.”

Oil Slick can’t help but smile at the pride in Grinder’s faceplate.

“He finally saw your worth.” The Chemist muses, thinking back on how far they’ve come since running errands for the Decepticon cause.

“Everyone has worth in the eyes of the Decepticons.” Grinder spoke those words like they were his own personal mantra. Nothing could break this ideology. “I leave at first light. Won’t be back until our mission is complete and the Wreckers are offline.”

The two had been together for a million stellarcycles now. It was strange to hear they would no longer be working together after becoming such a tight unit for so long. “And what about you?”

Oil Slick gripped the phial he was holding in his servos tighter, nearly fracturing the glass. His own moment of glory brewing in his mind’s eye.

“I’ve been given permission to go ahead with initial test run by that mad doctor, Scalpel. If I succeed in my endevours then this demonstration will finally prove to Megatron that I am worthy of a place on his science division.”

Grinder nods and wishes him the best of luck. This was it. No turning back now for either of them. Grinder was not one for words, so he didn’t even try to string a proper farewell together. Instead he pulled the smaller mech into an embrace squeezing his friend tightly.

“Grinder!” Oil Slick laughs as he feels his chassis crushing in on itself. “Put me down you oath!”

“I will return to you.” Grinder vows, holding Oil Slick to optic level. “Then we can return to Cybertron together.”

The chemist smiles down at the Brigader and cups the larger mech’s faceplate between his clawed servos. “You better.” Their foreheads touch and a moment passes between them, only for a moment, but they held each other’s gaze for what felt like a lifetime before Grinder finally put Oil Slick down. “Don’t make me hunt you down.”

“I’ll wait for you at this spot where we first met.”

Little did he know that that night would be the last time he ever spent with Grinder.

~

Millions of stellar cycles passed since that night, Oil Slick’s cosmic rust crippled many Autobot soldiers but it failed to reached the critical acclaim he had been craving for before it was effectively nullified by a medic who managed to outsmart him at his own game. The Decepticons lost the war and were banished from Cybertron. Now they were in the middle of trans-mutating organic planets and rebuilding their old lives. Oil Slick ended up right back where he started, fixing spaceships for living. The irony was not lost on him. It was only by pure chance that he had even made a bleep on General Strika’s radar, who quickly snatched him up for her own personal attack squad.

Oil Slick was sitting in the briefing room for his general to return with the rest of her team, chin resting in his palm as he gazed out the window of her ship, mind wandering back to when he was younger and so full of amibtion.

The door slides open and he sits at attention when a familiar silhouette passes through the threshold. A bulky frame with a hunched back, talon like feet, and propellers hanging from his shoulder’s like a regal cape. 

“Grinder?” Oil Slick falters, stumbling to his pedes. No, not Grinder. They were the same in frame but his behemoth towered over even Grinder’s impressive stature. The colour scheme was all wrong too. The soft blue and icy hues of his dimwitted companion were instead replaced with all black and red edges. 

“Oil Slick, this is our newest addition, Blackout.” General Strika introduced the two and rose a curious optic ridge at how the scientist curled in on himself, almost defensively as he sized up the larger mech who stared back at him blankly, having yet to utter a single word. “Blackout will be my second in command, as no one can stand against the might of his strength and loyalty.”

The two mechs still didn’t exchange a single word. Blackout didn’t seem very bright to Oil Slick, slow and hardly worthy or a title of second if all he had to offer was brute strength.

“Just don’t get in my way.” He tsks, finally breaking eye contact. Oil Slick didn’t like looking into those red optics for too long. The facial structure was far to familiar for him to be comfortable with.

Oil Slick didn’t notice Strika speaking or that she had already left the briefing room to deal with other matters, leaving the two alone together.

“You said Grinder.” Blackout’s vocals were just as slow and deep as Grinders, but whereas as Grinder’s had a low icy howl to it, Blackout was a roaring furance. “I led the Heavy Brigade. There was four of us. Me, Bulgy, Venom and Grinder.”

Oil Slick feels his throat tighten and thinks he’s about to be sick.

“I still wear Brigade band in their honour.” Blackout taps the dark purple band across his insignia. “To remember them. They were good bots.”

“Who did it?” Oil Slick asked solemnly, still avoiding looking him in the optics.

“Do not know his name.” Blackout shakes his helm. “Took down their leader, though, Impactor Major and his Omega Sentinel, Zeta Supreme. I was the only one to walk away from the battle. If the rest of the Wrecker’s survived, they quickly disbanded soon after.”

That wasn’t good enough for Oil Slick. Grinder was dead and the one responsible might still be alive. It infuriated him clean and impersonal Blackout made it all sound, as if it was another day on the job. There was nothing heroic about honouring his fallen comrades by wearing a pointless badge. He should be out there finishing the job he started.

“I know your designation.” Blackout interrupts the chemist’s brooding. “He spoke very highly of you.”

Oil Slick recoils at that, clutching his chair.

“I need to go finish setting up the lab Genera Strika has provided for me.” He quickly shoves past the Brigadier and doesn’t look back until he’s safely hidden inside his office.

Alone he stands in the middle of his suite, boxes stacked up on the floor and workbench, waiting to be unpacked. 

“You idiot!” He roars, throwing what little personal effects he owned across the room, satisfied to hear them shatter and break. “You couldn’t even go out in a blaze of glory or something more respectful than a footnote in the obituaries!”

Finally, when there was nothing left to throw, nothing left to destroy or inflict pain upon, Oil Slick stood alone in the remains of the hurricane of destruction he caused, optics bright and ominous as he felt the venom in his veins boiling.

Blackout might be satisfied taking down the Wrecker’s ship and leader, but Oil slick would not let this die until he found the one responsible for Grinder’s death and make them suffer...slowly.

Rummaging through the remains of his equipment, and holds up a single glass phial that somehow escaped unscathed. Undoing the seal, watches the sickly green liquid bubble over, giving off a toxic cloud vapour. Pouring the test tube over a discarded sample of cybertronian alloy, Oil Slick watches with great pleasure as it quickly eats away at the surface.

“If it can do just that, I wonder what damage just a single drop could do to one’s optic processor.” He purrs, just imaging his next victim straps down to a medical berth as he slowly, painfully, interrogated them for information on the whereabouts of the surviving wreckers.

“I can wait.” He vows. “No matter how long it takes I’ll find him and I’ll kill him.”

[gordonwilliamsweb]

With COVID Vaccine Trial, Rural Oregon Clinic Steps Onto World Stage

MEDFORD, Ore. — From the outside, it appears to be just another suburban allergy clinic, a tidy, tan brick-and-cinder-block building set back from a busy highway and across the road from an auto parts store.

But inside the offices of the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, Dr. Edward Kerwin and his staff are part of the race to save the world.

Kerwin, 63, was tapped this spring to lead one of the nearly 90 U.S. clinical trial sites taking part in the large-scale, phase 3 test of a vaccine produced by biotech startup Moderna to fight the virus that causes COVID-19.

Starting in late July, Kerwin’s clinic, set in a working-class region roughly halfway between Seattle and San Francisco, began enrolling up to 40 participants a day for the two-year study. He hopes to recruit as many as 700 volunteers by the end of August.

They’ll join the 30,000 test subjects needed nationwide to determine whether the Moderna vaccine can tame a disease that has infected 5.4 million Americans and claimed the lives of more than 170,000. Another vaccine, produced by Pfizer and BioNTech, a German company, is being tested in nearly 30,000 more recruits.

“It’s a perfect opportunity for science to come to the rescue,” said Kerwin, a lanky figure in a bright-blue shirt and khaki pants. He led visitors to a conference room, took a chair well outside social-distancing range and doffed his mask, the better to explain the magnitude of this moment.

Dr. Edward Kerwin, medical director of the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, has led more than 750 clinical trials during the past quarter-century. Kerwin, an allergist and immunologist, was tapped as the principal investigator for Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine trial at the Medford test site.(Jim Craven for KHN)

He acknowledged “it may seem like a surprise” that Medford is the site of a clinical trial to halt the world’s biggest medical challenge in a century. But Kerwin, who worked as a NASA scientist before heading to medical school and a career in allergy, asthma and immunology, has led more than 750 clinical trials over the past quarter-century, mostly focused on asthma, lung disease and skin disorders.

He moved to southern Oregon in 1993, choosing the rural Rogue Valley because of its beauty and cultural opportunities, such as the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland. As his medical expertise grew, he built a top-enrolling clinical trial site that coexists with a clinic that treats asthma and allergy patients. Along the way, he established deep roots in the valley, where he founded Bel Fiore, a $10 million winery and vineyard that features a 19,000-square-foot chateau.

Even with his experience, however, testing a vaccine to halt a global pandemic is a challenge like no other, Kerwin said. When the call came from Velocity Clinical Research — the North Carolina-based company that operates Kerwin’s clinic, known as CRISOR, and more than a dozen other COVID trial sites across the U.S. — he paused for a moment.

“You take a big gasp and say, ‘Do we have the resources to do this?’” Kerwin said. “You definitely do it, but you want to do your homework.”

So far, the testing is going well, he said. Unlike most clinical trials, for which it’s difficult to recruit enough volunteers, the COVID effort has attracted intense interest. All of Velocity’s sites are paying participants $1,962 for the two-year trial, but Kerwin’s staff of two dozen didn’t advertise widely at first.

“We would worry our phone would ring off the hook,” Kerwin said.

The Medford clinic is the only COVID vaccine clinical trial site in Oregon, so participants have come from as far as Portland, nearly 300 miles north.

It’s a prime example of the gamble drugmakers and federal trial sponsors take when deciding where to host large-scale COVID clinical trials. To gauge whether the vaccine works, you need to know there’s a good chance participants will be exposed to the virus in the environment. Ethically, in traditional phase 3 trials, you can’t deliberately infect people with COVID, a disease with no treatment or cure, though some propose doing just that in controversial human challenge trials.

Southern Oregon has not been a hot spot for COVID, with fewer than 500 confirmed cases and two deaths in Jackson County, which includes Medford. But, Kerwin said, it’s at risk of becoming one, offering the opportunity to vaccinate trial participants before the virus becomes widespread.

“It’s almost too late in New York and Arizona,” he said.

In the meantime, he’s trying to shift the odds that trial volunteers will be exposed to COVID-19 by reaching out to people at greater risk of infection.

So Kerwin’s team has contacted businesses in industries such as agriculture and food production, where the disease has been known to spread with particular virulence. Locally, that includes employers such as Harry & David, the food retailer famous for its fruit-of-the-month shipments, and Amy’s Kitchen, the maker of vegetarian frozen meals, which operates a production plant in the area.

The Medford trial site is also emphasizing enrollment of elder volunteers, those age 65 and up, who are at higher risk of serious illness or death from the coronavirus.

One of the first volunteers was Trish Malone, a 68-year-old cultural anthropologist who lives in Ashland. Like many of the other participants, she has enlisted in Kerwin’s previous clinical trials of devices to treat asthma. When clinic staffers reached out to ask whether she’d participate in the COVID trial, she didn’t hesitate.

“I said, ‘Wow, yes,’” Malone recalled. “It’s because of [Kerwin] and his expertise. Little Medford gets to have this testing.”

Participating is a way to “give back” to her community, said Malone, who sat, calm and still, on a recent Thursday as study coordinator Audrey Kuehl sank the injection into Malone’s left shoulder.

Audrey Kuehl, a study coordinator at the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, inoculates Trish Malone with Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine on Aug. 6.(Jim Craven for KHN)

“She was fast. It was no pain, and it was fine,” Malone said.

Half of the patients in the trial will receive two doses, 28 days apart, of the Moderna vaccine, called mRNA-1273. It uses a snippet of the genetic code of the coronavirus, not the virus itself, to instruct cells to produce a protein that triggers an immune response to protect against infection. The other half will receive a placebo, or saline dummy shot.

Three study coordinators at the Medford clinic, Kuehl among them, know which patients receive which dose, but the information is kept from volunteers and other staff members — including Kerwin, the principal investigator.

Participants who receive the vaccine may experience some side effects, such as redness at the injection site, muscle soreness, fatigue or headache, Kerwin said. “It’s a sign the vaccine is working with your immune system,” he said.

Four days after her first injection, Malone was disappointed to report no reaction at all. “I am bummed, totally bummed,” she said. “I have no symptoms. I think I got the placebo.”

That may not be true, of course. Even if it is, Malone said, she’s happy to participate in an effort that may help stop the deadly virus.

“This a global pandemic,” she said. “What can I do to help?”

The study will run for two years so that investigators can track the longer-term effects of the vaccine. Malone will keep a diary of her temperature and symptoms, if any, and have regular blood tests to determine whether she has antibodies to the virus.

Kerwin is optimistic about the chances the Moderna vaccine will work, agreeing with Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s top infectious disease expert, who predicted the study could demonstrate efficacy by November or December. Kerwin estimates that the vaccine could prove 90% effective, though outside infectious disease experts said it’s far too soon to tell.

Even if the trial shows the vaccine is successful, it would take months longer to produce and deliver enough injections for the U.S. and beyond.

As he enrolls patients and awaits data, Kerwin said, he’s mindful of the real-world implications of his work. His mother, in her 90s, lives in a Denver nursing home where, so far, there have been no cases of COVID-19. But the threat looms.

The tragedy of the pandemic has underscored the promise of science — and the interconnectedness of people far beyond this small corner of Oregon.

“Immunology has never been more fascinating than it is today,” he said. “This is a year that reminds us we cannot live in isolation and do not live in isolation from the world.”

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

With COVID Vaccine Trial, Rural Oregon Clinic Steps Onto World Stage published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[stephenmccull]

With COVID Vaccine Trial, Rural Oregon Clinic Steps Onto World Stage

MEDFORD, Ore. — From the outside, it appears to be just another suburban allergy clinic, a tidy, tan brick-and-cinder-block building set back from a busy highway and across the road from an auto parts store.

But inside the offices of the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, Dr. Edward Kerwin and his staff are part of the race to save the world.

Kerwin, 63, was tapped this spring to lead one of the nearly 90 U.S. clinical trial sites taking part in the large-scale, phase 3 test of a vaccine produced by biotech startup Moderna to fight the virus that causes COVID-19.

Starting in late July, Kerwin’s clinic, set in a working-class region roughly halfway between Seattle and San Francisco, began enrolling up to 40 participants a day for the two-year study. He hopes to recruit as many as 700 volunteers by the end of August.

They’ll join the 30,000 test subjects needed nationwide to determine whether the Moderna vaccine can tame a disease that has infected 5.4 million Americans and claimed the lives of more than 170,000. Another vaccine, produced by Pfizer and BioNTech, a German company, is being tested in nearly 30,000 more recruits.

“It’s a perfect opportunity for science to come to the rescue,” said Kerwin, a lanky figure in a bright-blue shirt and khaki pants. He led visitors to a conference room, took a chair well outside social-distancing range and doffed his mask, the better to explain the magnitude of this moment.

Dr. Edward Kerwin, medical director of the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, has led more than 750 clinical trials during the past quarter-century. Kerwin, an allergist and immunologist, was tapped as the principal investigator for Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine trial at the Medford test site.(Jim Craven for KHN)

He acknowledged “it may seem like a surprise” that Medford is the site of a clinical trial to halt the world’s biggest medical challenge in a century. But Kerwin, who worked as a NASA scientist before heading to medical school and a career in allergy, asthma and immunology, has led more than 750 clinical trials over the past quarter-century, mostly focused on asthma, lung disease and skin disorders.

He moved to southern Oregon in 1993, choosing the rural Rogue Valley because of its beauty and cultural opportunities, such as the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland. As his medical expertise grew, he built a top-enrolling clinical trial site that coexists with a clinic that treats asthma and allergy patients. Along the way, he established deep roots in the valley, where he founded Bel Fiore, a $10 million winery and vineyard that features a 19,000-square-foot chateau.

Even with his experience, however, testing a vaccine to halt a global pandemic is a challenge like no other, Kerwin said. When the call came from Velocity Clinical Research — the North Carolina-based company that operates Kerwin’s clinic, known as CRISOR, and more than a dozen other COVID trial sites across the U.S. — he paused for a moment.

“You take a big gasp and say, ‘Do we have the resources to do this?’” Kerwin said. “You definitely do it, but you want to do your homework.”

So far, the testing is going well, he said. Unlike most clinical trials, for which it’s difficult to recruit enough volunteers, the COVID effort has attracted intense interest. All of Velocity’s sites are paying participants $1,962 for the two-year trial, but Kerwin’s staff of two dozen didn’t advertise widely at first.

“We would worry our phone would ring off the hook,” Kerwin said.

The Medford clinic is the only COVID vaccine clinical trial site in Oregon, so participants have come from as far as Portland, nearly 300 miles north.

It’s a prime example of the gamble drugmakers and federal trial sponsors take when deciding where to host large-scale COVID clinical trials. To gauge whether the vaccine works, you need to know there’s a good chance participants will be exposed to the virus in the environment. Ethically, in traditional phase 3 trials, you can’t deliberately infect people with COVID, a disease with no treatment or cure, though some propose doing just that in controversial human challenge trials.

Southern Oregon has not been a hot spot for COVID, with fewer than 500 confirmed cases and two deaths in Jackson County, which includes Medford. But, Kerwin said, it’s at risk of becoming one, offering the opportunity to vaccinate trial participants before the virus becomes widespread.

“It’s almost too late in New York and Arizona,” he said.

In the meantime, he’s trying to shift the odds that trial volunteers will be exposed to COVID-19 by reaching out to people at greater risk of infection.

So Kerwin’s team has contacted businesses in industries such as agriculture and food production, where the disease has been known to spread with particular virulence. Locally, that includes employers such as Harry & David, the food retailer famous for its fruit-of-the-month shipments, and Amy’s Kitchen, the maker of vegetarian frozen meals, which operates a production plant in the area.

The Medford trial site is also emphasizing enrollment of elder volunteers, those age 65 and up, who are at higher risk of serious illness or death from the coronavirus.

One of the first volunteers was Trish Malone, a 68-year-old cultural anthropologist who lives in Ashland. Like many of the other participants, she has enlisted in Kerwin’s previous clinical trials of devices to treat asthma. When clinic staffers reached out to ask whether she’d participate in the COVID trial, she didn’t hesitate.

“I said, ‘Wow, yes,’” Malone recalled. “It’s because of [Kerwin] and his expertise. Little Medford gets to have this testing.”

Participating is a way to “give back” to her community, said Malone, who sat, calm and still, on a recent Thursday as study coordinator Audrey Kuehl sank the injection into Malone’s left shoulder.

Audrey Kuehl, a study coordinator at the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, inoculates Trish Malone with Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine on Aug. 6.(Jim Craven for KHN)

“She was fast. It was no pain, and it was fine,” Malone said.

Half of the patients in the trial will receive two doses, 28 days apart, of the Moderna vaccine, called mRNA-1273. It uses a snippet of the genetic code of the coronavirus, not the virus itself, to instruct cells to produce a protein that triggers an immune response to protect against infection. The other half will receive a placebo, or saline dummy shot.

Three study coordinators at the Medford clinic, Kuehl among them, know which patients receive which dose, but the information is kept from volunteers and other staff members — including Kerwin, the principal investigator.

Participants who receive the vaccine may experience some side effects, such as redness at the injection site, muscle soreness, fatigue or headache, Kerwin said. “It’s a sign the vaccine is working with your immune system,” he said.

Four days after her first injection, Malone was disappointed to report no reaction at all. “I am bummed, totally bummed,” she said. “I have no symptoms. I think I got the placebo.”

That may not be true, of course. Even if it is, Malone said, she’s happy to participate in an effort that may help stop the deadly virus.

“This a global pandemic,” she said. “What can I do to help?”

The study will run for two years so that investigators can track the longer-term effects of the vaccine. Malone will keep a diary of her temperature and symptoms, if any, and have regular blood tests to determine whether she has antibodies to the virus.

Kerwin is optimistic about the chances the Moderna vaccine will work, agreeing with Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s top infectious disease expert, who predicted the study could demonstrate efficacy by November or December. Kerwin estimates that the vaccine could prove 90% effective, though outside infectious disease experts said it’s far too soon to tell.

Even if the trial shows the vaccine is successful, it would take months longer to produce and deliver enough injections for the U.S. and beyond.

As he enrolls patients and awaits data, Kerwin said, he’s mindful of the real-world implications of his work. His mother, in her 90s, lives in a Denver nursing home where, so far, there have been no cases of COVID-19. But the threat looms.

The tragedy of the pandemic has underscored the promise of science — and the interconnectedness of people far beyond this small corner of Oregon.

“Immunology has never been more fascinating than it is today,” he said. “This is a year that reminds us we cannot live in isolation and do not live in isolation from the world.”

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

With COVID Vaccine Trial, Rural Oregon Clinic Steps Onto World Stage published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

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With COVID Vaccine Trial, Rural Oregon Clinic Steps Onto World Stage

MEDFORD, Ore. — From the outside, it appears to be just another suburban allergy clinic, a tidy, tan brick-and-cinder-block building set back from a busy highway and across the road from an auto parts store.

But inside the offices of the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, Dr. Edward Kerwin and his staff are part of the race to save the world.

Kerwin, 63, was tapped this spring to lead one of the nearly 90 U.S. clinical trial sites taking part in the large-scale, phase 3 test of a vaccine produced by biotech startup Moderna to fight the virus that causes COVID-19.

Starting in late July, Kerwin’s clinic, set in a working-class region roughly halfway between Seattle and San Francisco, began enrolling up to 40 participants a day for the two-year study. He hopes to recruit as many as 700 volunteers by the end of August.

They’ll join the 30,000 test subjects needed nationwide to determine whether the Moderna vaccine can tame a disease that has infected 5.4 million Americans and claimed the lives of more than 170,000. Another vaccine, produced by Pfizer and BioNTech, a German company, is being tested in nearly 30,000 more recruits.

“It’s a perfect opportunity for science to come to the rescue,” said Kerwin, a lanky figure in a bright-blue shirt and khaki pants. He led visitors to a conference room, took a chair well outside social-distancing range and doffed his mask, the better to explain the magnitude of this moment.

Dr. Edward Kerwin, medical director of the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, has led more than 750 clinical trials during the past quarter-century. Kerwin, an allergist and immunologist, was tapped as the principal investigator for Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine trial at the Medford test site.(Jim Craven for KHN)

He acknowledged “it may seem like a surprise” that Medford is the site of a clinical trial to halt the world’s biggest medical challenge in a century. But Kerwin, who worked as a NASA scientist before heading to medical school and a career in allergy, asthma and immunology, has led more than 750 clinical trials over the past quarter-century, mostly focused on asthma, lung disease and skin disorders.

He moved to southern Oregon in 1993, choosing the rural Rogue Valley because of its beauty and cultural opportunities, such as the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland. As his medical expertise grew, he built a top-enrolling clinical trial site that coexists with a clinic that treats asthma and allergy patients. Along the way, he established deep roots in the valley, where he founded Bel Fiore, a $10 million winery and vineyard that features a 19,000-square-foot chateau.

Even with his experience, however, testing a vaccine to halt a global pandemic is a challenge like no other, Kerwin said. When the call came from Velocity Clinical Research — the North Carolina-based company that operates Kerwin’s clinic, known as CRISOR, and more than a dozen other COVID trial sites across the U.S. — he paused for a moment.

“You take a big gasp and say, ‘Do we have the resources to do this?’” Kerwin said. “You definitely do it, but you want to do your homework.”

So far, the testing is going well, he said. Unlike most clinical trials, for which it’s difficult to recruit enough volunteers, the COVID effort has attracted intense interest. All of Velocity’s sites are paying participants $1,962 for the two-year trial, but Kerwin’s staff of two dozen didn’t advertise widely at first.

“We would worry our phone would ring off the hook,” Kerwin said.

The Medford clinic is the only COVID vaccine clinical trial site in Oregon, so participants have come from as far as Portland, nearly 300 miles north.

It’s a prime example of the gamble drugmakers and federal trial sponsors take when deciding where to host large-scale COVID clinical trials. To gauge whether the vaccine works, you need to know there’s a good chance participants will be exposed to the virus in the environment. Ethically, in traditional phase 3 trials, you can’t deliberately infect people with COVID, a disease with no treatment or cure, though some propose doing just that in controversial human challenge trials.

Southern Oregon has not been a hot spot for COVID, with fewer than 500 confirmed cases and two deaths in Jackson County, which includes Medford. But, Kerwin said, it’s at risk of becoming one, offering the opportunity to vaccinate trial participants before the virus becomes widespread.

“It’s almost too late in New York and Arizona,” he said.

In the meantime, he’s trying to shift the odds that trial volunteers will be exposed to COVID-19 by reaching out to people at greater risk of infection.

So Kerwin’s team has contacted businesses in industries such as agriculture and food production, where the disease has been known to spread with particular virulence. Locally, that includes employers such as Harry & David, the food retailer famous for its fruit-of-the-month shipments, and Amy’s Kitchen, the maker of vegetarian frozen meals, which operates a production plant in the area.

The Medford trial site is also emphasizing enrollment of elder volunteers, those age 65 and up, who are at higher risk of serious illness or death from the coronavirus.

One of the first volunteers was Trish Malone, a 68-year-old cultural anthropologist who lives in Ashland. Like many of the other participants, she has enlisted in Kerwin’s previous clinical trials of devices to treat asthma. When clinic staffers reached out to ask whether she’d participate in the COVID trial, she didn’t hesitate.

“I said, ‘Wow, yes,’” Malone recalled. “It’s because of [Kerwin] and his expertise. Little Medford gets to have this testing.”

Participating is a way to “give back” to her community, said Malone, who sat, calm and still, on a recent Thursday as study coordinator Audrey Kuehl sank the injection into Malone’s left shoulder.

Audrey Kuehl, a study coordinator at the Clinical Research Institute of Southern Oregon, inoculates Trish Malone with Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine on Aug. 6.(Jim Craven for KHN)

“She was fast. It was no pain, and it was fine,” Malone said.

Half of the patients in the trial will receive two doses, 28 days apart, of the Moderna vaccine, called mRNA-1273. It uses a snippet of the genetic code of the coronavirus, not the virus itself, to instruct cells to produce a protein that triggers an immune response to protect against infection. The other half will receive a placebo, or saline dummy shot.

Three study coordinators at the Medford clinic, Kuehl among them, know which patients receive which dose, but the information is kept from volunteers and other staff members — including Kerwin, the principal investigator.

Participants who receive the vaccine may experience some side effects, such as redness at the injection site, muscle soreness, fatigue or headache, Kerwin said. “It’s a sign the vaccine is working with your immune system,” he said.

Four days after her first injection, Malone was disappointed to report no reaction at all. “I am bummed, totally bummed,” she said. “I have no symptoms. I think I got the placebo.”

That may not be true, of course. Even if it is, Malone said, she’s happy to participate in an effort that may help stop the deadly virus.

“This a global pandemic,” she said. “What can I do to help?”

The study will run for two years so that investigators can track the longer-term effects of the vaccine. Malone will keep a diary of her temperature and symptoms, if any, and have regular blood tests to determine whether she has antibodies to the virus.

Kerwin is optimistic about the chances the Moderna vaccine will work, agreeing with Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s top infectious disease expert, who predicted the study could demonstrate efficacy by November or December. Kerwin estimates that the vaccine could prove 90% effective, though outside infectious disease experts said it’s far too soon to tell.

Even if the trial shows the vaccine is successful, it would take months longer to produce and deliver enough injections for the U.S. and beyond.

As he enrolls patients and awaits data, Kerwin said, he’s mindful of the real-world implications of his work. His mother, in her 90s, lives in a Denver nursing home where, so far, there have been no cases of COVID-19. But the threat looms.

The tragedy of the pandemic has underscored the promise of science — and the interconnectedness of people far beyond this small corner of Oregon.

“Immunology has never been more fascinating than it is today,” he said. “This is a year that reminds us we cannot live in isolation and do not live in isolation from the world.”

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/with-covid-vaccine-trial-rural-oregon-clinic-steps-onto-world-stage/

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COVID diaries: Will this Colorado couple’s newborn know a world where people shake hands?

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Nolan Christopher Dreher’s parents tucked him into his car seat in the back of their Toyota Highlander and drove down the lonely, snowy roads from Steamboat Springs to their home in Oak Creek. Nolan, cozy in a white onesie with bears on it, was two days old and on his way to meet his brothers.

Lauren Dreher was hoping she had been careful enough, that the nurses and doctors and the woman who came in her hospital room to take out the trash every day were not infected with the new coronavirus.

“At the end of the day you have to know that you did everything you could do,” she said. “I’m just hoping that that’s enough. I was trying so hard not to touch my face. You’re in labor and you brush your hair out of your face and wipe your brow.”

She thought, too, what a weird time to bring a new human into the world.

“It’s not like we could ever have imagined that this could be the current state of things,” Dreher said. Will Nolan get a vaccine to protect him against the new coronavirus? What if social norms change so much that her third son never knows a world where people shake hands?

Dreher, who had an attached placenta during her second pregnancy, a condition that could cause massive blood loss, had planned to have Nolan in Denver with an at-risk pregnancy specialist. She changed her mind as she watched the number of confirmed cases of coronavirus climb in the city.

COVID-19 IN COLORADO

The latest from the coronavirus outbreak in Colorado:

MAP: Known cases in Colorado.

PHOTOS: A look at how different parts of Colorado are dealing with the pandemic.

TIMELINE: The moments that have shaped Colorado’s response to coronavirus.

WRITE ON, COLORADO: Tell us your coronavirus stories.

STORY: Why the end of Colorado’s stay-at-home order isn’t the end of you being stuck at home

>> FULL COVERAGE

Plus, UCHealth Yampa Valley Medical Center isn’t nearly as busy.

“It was just kind of eerie how quiet it was,” Dreher said. Adding to that surreal feeling was the fact that “everyone you came into contact with was wearing a mask, from the security guard to the nurses and doctors.” Dreher’s delivery team wore N95 masks and face shields. She was allowed one visitor: her husband, Christopher.

The Drehers are both furloughed and trying to look at the bright side — more time with their new baby and sons Calvin, 6, and Landon, 4. Lauren works for an orthodontist, and Christopher works at Harwigs, a French restaurant in Steamboat.

They were all together at home, warm, with a fresh blanket of snow, the first time as a family of five.

“It’s scary but at the same time, living where we live, we’re in our own slice of the mountains here,” Lauren said. “I know everything will be OK in the long run.”

This story is powered by COLab, the Colorado News Collaborative. The ColoradoSun joined this historic collaboration with more than 20 other newsrooms across Colorado to better serve the public. To read more of The Colorado Sun’s coverage from this project, click here.

The latest from The Sun

Colorado COVID diaries: A day in the life of people across the state as they navigate coronavirus

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Colorado college students, upended by coronavirus, are worried about food, housing and their education

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How fly-fishing lessons and movie soundtracks figured into a Colorado author’s “Stolen Heart”

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30 Children of Anti-Vaxxers Tell Their Stories

At this point, it’s common knowledge that vaccines haven’t been linked with autism. Doctors have checked and checked again, but nothing credible has ever come up.

Still, there are people who identify as ‘anti-vaxxers’ and decline to vaccinate their children. Now, in a packed Reddit thread, those peoples’ children have a few things to say about it.

Check out stories from 30 children of anti-vaxxers, who each feel quite different from their parents!

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One redditor always thought they had been vaccinated—until their employer discovered otherwise.

I had an idea they were anti-vaxxers, but it was never confirmed.

They mentioned my younger brother wasn’t [vaccinated] but it was “justified” because we were living in the mountains of Montana and it was too far a drive to the Doctor.

I assumed I had been as I was born in civilization and we didn’t move to the hills until I was 3.

We were homeschooled, my older brother had trouble at college with his immunizations and Mom said all the paperwork was lost when they moved.

I was 30 years old and I was offered a job at a university helping train doctors, started getting paperwork asking for proof of vaccinations, I just said test me and give me whatever I need.

But I know I’ve had Chicken Pox.

Turns out I had nothing, no antibodies and I’d never had Chicken Pox either (Mom said I had). Lit up both arms with a run of shots over the next 3 months.

Never forgot telling my boyfriend and he yelled “You’ve been to Mexico, TWICE, and Europe. Oh my god.”

Called my mom and said “Hey I’m getting a job and they say I’ve never been vaccinated. Was I?”

She got very defensive and said no, she hated making us cry as babies and they’re bad for little kids.

Also, did I really need them? She then tried to talk me out of them.

Since I know how they work I felt very okay letting her know I’d already started the process.

I’m so thankful for all of you protecting me until I found out. –sirenssong

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This redditor, unfortunately, suffered the consequences of a disease for which a vaccine exists.

via: Getty

Mom got rubella when pregnant with me. As a result, I was born severely deaf so there ya go.

Life’s not the best. –strangeunluckyfetus

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This person’s parent had to see them with measles to understand the importance of vaccination.

via: Getty

I got measles, as a 22-year-old, in my first week of moving to London.

I’d previously lived up north, and on my first day of working immediately after finishing uni, I began feeling lethargic. By the second day, I felt pretty bad but soldiered on.

Third day, I began taking (fairly effective) painkillers for the remainder of the week. Saturday, attended a local fair, after taking my morning painkiller.

Had a bottle of beer with my dad and felt very strange afterward, almost floaty but in a kinda bad way.

Decided to stop taking the painkillers, woke up with a raging fever and intense coughing on Sunday.

Hobbled out of bed, feeling dizzy and horrible and noticed in the mirror of the bathroom that I looked like an Oompa Loompa (red splotchy rash all over).

My step mum had been feeling similar symptoms that week, she decided to call an ambulance, who checked both of our conditions and turned out I had a raging (41c) fever and low oxygen.

They took me to A&E and I was given fluids via a drip.

Later, my step mum came in and was given the same treatment; the doctor on call said it’d probably be a general viral infection.

At home, took the week off work and recovered. Step mum took off two weeks. She went back to A&E a couple of days after; the doctor on duty immediately spotted that it was measles.

Thing is, in England if you get it, an organization called Public Health England has to be legally informed by your doctor, which informs your workplace about your illness.

Cue an embarrassing email being sent by your new boss to everyone in your company before you’ve even met most of your colleagues.

Took a while to recover. In a week I felt well enough to be out and about. You’re only infectious when you have the rash (and a little before and after).

I still felt out of whack for several weeks. This happened in July, and I didn’t feel quite fully recovered until October or so.

Obviously, neither myself or my step mum had been vaccinated with the MMR. My dad and sisters had had it as children. We immediately got both jabs, after we were told how painful mumps could be.

Strongly recommend everyone gets the MMR vaccine. It’s straightforward and time-honored.

Measles is unpleasant and can cause complications in adults. My intense coughing almost certainly caused some lung damage, and my hair just kind of… fell out in the months following.

Save yourselves!

My graduation ceremony was a couple of weeks after this. My actual mum saw how ill measles had left me and changed her mind on vaccinations.

Shame it had to be that way, though. –AdamJay26

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It’s a good thing medical professionals are often ready to help kids of anti-vaxxers, even later in life than usual.

via: Getty

My parents chose not to vaccinate my sister and me. They have some… unique ideas about science and medicine.

We were also homeschooled if that clarifies anything.

We both wound up volunteering at hospitals at different points in our lives, so we had to get caught up anyway. For me, it was at age 20, for an internship at a mental health facility.

It was a little awkward explaining to the nurse why I had nothing on my record, but she was understanding overall.

My big concern now is what will happen when I get around to having children of my own in a few years.

I think they’ll see me as a bad mother if I get them vaccinated, so I’m anticipating some fireworks. –Arihagne

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This redditor’s struggle wasn’t for their own vaccination, but their parents’.

via: Getty

I was vaccinated when I was a baby as part of a mandatory vaccination program in the Soviet Union, but my parents wouldn’t vaccinate/get boosters after we moved to the States.

My family is pathologically distrustful of doctors and medication of any kind and prefers homeopathy and alternative medicines.

I didn’t realize I wasn’t fully vaccinated until I went in for a physical in college.

Up till then, I’d just assumed I’d been fully vaccinated in Russia (Because that’s what my parents told me).

I got all my shots up to date and I just never mentioned it to my parents.

Their anti-medicine stance has softened as they age, but I generally avoid the topic because I can’t handle their bullshit and it never goes anywhere anyway.

That said, I had a baby this past December in the middle of a really bad flu season and I told my parents that they weren’t allowed to see the baby until they could produce proof of a flu shot (this is absolutely something they’d lie about, so yes, I demanded written proof).

They both got one as soon as they realized I was serious. –Kookalka

Next up, another redditor gave their parent the same choice…and the answer wasn’t so peaceful.

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This person’s mother had a different answer to the ‘get vaccinated for my baby’ ultimatum.

I said the same thing, and my mum opted not to see the baby for 3 months. Bizarre life choices.

Ultimately she hasn’t had a lot to do with raising her grandson, which might be for the best.

To her credit, she is honest. –actuallyarobot2

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When in doubt, go with science.

I was not vaccinated as a child because my mother thought vaccines were evil, unchristian, and other ridiculous things.

This was in the early ’80s before all the autism BS, but she had her own unique theories. I got myself vaccinated when I went to university.

My mother was disappointed and wanted to write a letter to the school explaining her religious views on vaccines (as she had done for years to keep me exempt), but I decided to go with science. –squeezymarmite

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Even a medical degree didn’t change this redditor’s anti-vaxxer parents.

via: Getty

I didn’t receive any vaccinations through childhood due to my parents’ beliefs.

Once I got to college, I did my own research on them, learned the actual science behind them, and got all vaccinations.

I then went to medical school, and yet they still don’t believe me and my medical degree regarding vaccinations.

Holidays can get awkward. –guardian528

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Starting college without your vaccines adds an extra few hurdles.

via: Getty

When I was 19, I had to get some vaccines in order to start college, and my mom was NOT helpful.

First, she tried to get me exempt from the vaccines, and when that didn’t work, she sent me into the clinic (alone) with completely false/outdated info.

I was super embarrassed when the nurses looked at my notes and told me that none of it was correct.

But luckily they helped me figure out what I needed and didn’t shame me too much for not having a previous vaccination record. A couple years later I went back in to get the rest of the recommended vaccines.

My sister had her first kid (and the first grandbaby) last year, and our mom has been pushing her not to vaccinate. Fortunately, my sister has chosen to vaccinate.

She still is trying to get us to watch a documentary about it to change our minds.

Now all us kids just don’t talk to our mom about vaccines because it always turns into an argument. –itsshamefulreally

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And the process of applying to college is hard enough without parents interfering.

via: Getty

[My mom] sabotaged me getting into the college I wanted simply because they did not accept religious exemptions and she couldn’t trick any doctors into signing a health exemption.

I wanted to go do it myself, but they were through accepting applications by then, and I was desperate to go to some college, so I found a different one. –eXpialidocious_

On the next page, one child of the anti-vaxxers has a response to an anti-vaccination “documentary” that made the rounds a few years ago.

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There’s an anti-vaccination film called ‘Vaxxed’ (made by an ex-doctor whose license was revoked), and these redditors are NOT about it.

via: Getty

We had our first child at the very beginning of the year and had to tell my father that since he won’t get vaccinated, he won’t be able to see his grandbaby until the baby gets their shots.

The baby had their first round of shots a few months ago, and my father can now visit. It pained me to do that, and I know it pained him, but I was not putting my child at risk for his choice.

This last weekend we visited my father. At the end of the visit, he handed me Vaxxed.

He knows our feelings on the matter – preventable diseases should be prevented, herd immunity protects those most at risk, autism is not caused by vaccines.

It’s just… disrespectful.

I know he thinks he’s trying to protect his grandson from harm, but it’s coming from the completely wrong direction, and no one can seem to change his opinion on the matter. –humplick

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More often than not, anti-vaxxer parents are trying to protect their kids—until they realize where the real danger is.

via: Getty

My mum didn’t get the measles vaccination because at the time she thought it caused autism; she was kinda one of the first anti-vaxxers, wrote to papers about it everything.

Anyway, a girl in our social group caught meningitis and died, basically freakishly uncommon.

After that, mum was really scared the same thing could happen to me with any disease and basically begged me to get up to date with my shots.

I guess the main takeaway is that when my mum was younger and inexperienced, she thought everything was a danger; she honestly thought she was doing best by me, I guess. –bellend_bellend

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This redditor’s mother eventually turned it around herself!

My parents didn’t give us the whooping cough vaccine under the advisement of our pediatrician.

I actually didn’t know this until last year, so I went and got vaccinated on my mom’s recommendation. She wrote my siblings and me the following email to bring it up:

As a parent, you are bound to make many mistakes.

For me, not having the advantage of younger siblings, the internet, or (initially) many friends with babies, I think I learned to parent on the fly.

At the time, there seemed to be a compelling reason not to include the pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine along with whatever else was the recommended protocol for infants under the age of one year.

I think we had read that it was one vaccine too many to be included in the series, and our first pediatrician felt strongly that it might have harmful side effects.

Gramps had told me that he remembered having whooping cough as a child, and although it was harrowing, he survived.

Draw your own conclusions here!

However, I would now hope that you all might consider following up with your doctors to see if you should be vaccinated now as adults.

Out of guilt, I’d be willing to sweeten the deal by paying for whatever isn’t covered by your healthcare. (Tetanus shots, flu shots, etc. aren’t a bad idea either, although you’re on your own there!)

Also, I want to apologize to [Sister], [Sister] and [Brother] for the time we went to the geneticist who took punch core samples of your skin for testing.

We had no idea–and there’s no excuse for our ignorance–that it would be a process painfully administered without anesthesia. I feel traumatized to this day, so I can’t imagine how awful it was for you.

I was reminded of those procedures recently when I heard Nobel Prize-winning geneticist, George Church tell his story on The Moth: My Life as a Guinea Pig.

I love you all dearly!

So, I didn’t get them on my own in contradiction to my parents’ decisions, but at their request, after they realized they had made a mistake. –affixqc

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Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor about concerns—they’ve done this many times before.

via: Getty

When my daughter was born, we were terrified of the mercury. We asked a doctor, who explained everything to us clearly.

The poor doc had that look though— “Oh shit, not this again”… –cat_of_danzig

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In fact, this redditor got an idea of how much doctors have to explain the necessity of vaccinations.

When we had our first kid, we were shopping around for a pediatrician, and I was astounded how many doctors specifically told us they would only be our general doc if the children were vaccinated.

I had no idea how often they must have that conversation.

Apparently, in some places, the percent of anti-vaxxer parents is as high as 10%.

The number of parents who are reluctant to give their kids vaccines can be as high as 25%. –dsf900

Keep reading for a crazy story of how far one parent went to prevent their child from receiving certain types of medical attention.

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Sometimes understanding takes a while, and now this redditor needs all their shots together.

via: Getty

My parents were very against it.

Never particularly vocal about it, but growing up, my schools would organize mass vaccinations for all the kids (MMR, etc.) and I was always mysteriously off sick those days.

My school never noticed, and I was always pretty happy as I have a terrible phobia of needles and never really understood the health implications.

I’ve never had any health problems, but I’ve had partners weirded out by it. I was dating one guy who didn’t want to go near me once he found out I hadn’t had any vaccinations. That felt odd.

Last year there was a measles outbreak at my university, and I was very nervous about it.

Called my parents for advice and their response? “Go get the vaccine.”

Classic.

I’m guessing their opinions have changed over the years, but they’re too proud to say outright that maybe they were wrong and their children’s health could now be at risk.

About time I got the rest of them done! –1742587

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This redditor’s mother was not only anti-vaccination, but anti-doctor altogether. It resulted in a medical emergency.

via: Getty

My mother is just plain crazy when it comes to medical topics, and thinks that hospitals and doctors only want your money.

So I was never vaccinated. For a little insight into the craziness, when I was 14, I was a breath away from dying from a burst appendix.

My mother refused to take me to the hospital despite the pain.

It was only when I started urinating blood that my father said he was taking me to the hospital. I was in and out of consciousness while he carried me to the car.

My mom physically fought him as he carried me.

I was medevaced to a larger hospital and had emergency surgery. The doctor told me in recovery that the infection was spreading to other organs, and my body was starting to shut down.

If it had been a couple of hours or more, it would have been too late.

Fast forward four years later when I joined the Army…the gauntlet of shots I received to get all the vaccinations was something else.

I literally walked almost naked down a row with multiple medical staff on each side poking me with needles everywhere as I was told to keep walking forward and not stop.

I am 35 now and feel just as healthy now as I did as a kid.

Never had any other issues except for a hernia from strenuous exercise. Vaccinations do more good than harm. –Kukulcan83

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Lack of vaccination lead to a terrible bout of whooping cough for this redditor—and four siblings!

via: Getty

My parents used to not vaccinate me or any of my four siblings, but when I was like three years old me, and my siblings all came down with whooping cough.

It scarred my lungs, and I have yellow stains on my teeth because the high fevers cooked my adult teeth inside my head. My parents vaccinated us after that.

I am not and have never been mad or spiteful toward my parents for not vaccinating me.

They were just naive, and doing what they thought was best for my siblings and me. –Volcano_gurl

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Herd immunity is the key to ridding ourselves of dangerous contagious diseases.

What people don’t understand about vaccination is it isn’t just there to protect the vaccinated.

It protects the “herd” (herd immunity); the people who can’t be vaccinated for whatever reason.

This is part of the reason being vaccinated if you’re able to be is so important. You’re not only protecting yourself.

You’re protecting those around you whose immune systems aren’t up to it and could be hugely negatively impacted by their fellow neighbors refusing for their own uneducated reasons. –hihelloneighboroonie

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This child of anti-vaxxers has plenty of reason to discontinue tradition.

My dad was the anti-vaxxer, my mom was mostly ambivalent. Neither my brother or I were vaccinated at birth, and I didn’t get my shots until I turned 19.

My brother had to get a tetanus shot once when he was six, due to an injury. It burned my dad up for a while.

His reasoning was typical: he believed that the mercury in the vaccines would cause us to somehow develop autism.

My parents were also pretty hippy-dippy compared to most baby boomers, so they were concerned about chemicals and all that as well.

Jokes on them, though, because both my brother and I have [Aspergers] regardless of being unvaccinated.

It was always a pain in the ass whenever we had to do school-related paperwork or field trip stuff because my parents would have to produce a letter stating that it was their “religious right” to keep us “untainted” by vaccination (we were never a religious family).

I wasn’t a super sickly child (with a few exceptions), but my younger brother suffered a lot.

He got pneumonia when he was little, like 3-4. They had to keep him in the hospital and I remember my dad taking care of me at home while my mom stayed in the room with my brother.

About a year or two after that he got walking pneumonia and again was hospitalized.

He’s also allergic to damn near everything and has bad asthma now. He has epilepsy, and we both have chronic migraines.

I never had anything seriously life-threatening in terms of illness, but there was a nearly yearlong period where I had strep throat almost every other week.

I should have had my tonsils out (they wanted to intubate me at one point but for whatever reason changed their minds?), but my dad threw a fit about having any surgeries performed.

I also developed shingles when I was 13, which my father initially treated as poison ivy and left mostly untreated until my mother intervened.

I still have little to no feeling on swatches of the left side of my body from the blister scars. That sucked.

I did, however, have to get my vaccinations when I turned 18 and enrolled in college. He was not pleased about that, and actually, we didn’t talk for almost a year because of my decision to get vaccinated.

Eventually, we worked things out, but it took a while. I’ll be vaccinating any children I may have in the future, though.

Tl;dr: wasn’t vaccinated until I chose to do so myself as a legal adult bc parents were afraid of autism.

My brother and I were sick a lot as a kid, with some really preventable and stupid illnesses. I plan on vaccinating any children I have. –Larktoothe

Keep reading to see how one member of Reddit shut down their family’s objections like a boss!

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Here’s how one redditor put it to their anti-vaxxer grandpa:

My grandpa is convinced on the whole vaccines cause autism thing.

When I was pregnant with my first kid, he harped on it so much until I finally said, “it doesn’t cause autism, but even if it did I would still do it. I’d rather have an autistic kid than a dead one.”

Shut him up fairly well. –HCGB

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This child of anti-vaxxers changed their mind about it after seeing the effects first-hand.

My mom is against vaccines, and I grew up in a very anti-vaccine school and was treated by homeopathic and holistic doctors.

I used to believe all that. Then I started med school and changed my mind to “vaccines aren’t bad, but they aren’t necessary.”

Then I did a rotation at a pediatric hospital in the neurological area. That was a huge eye opener!! Meningitis is an awful disease, and anti-vaxxers never talk about it.

The children I saw were the ones that survived and had brain damage afterward.

It was awful to see kids that could have had a perfectly normal life to end up like that. –anesthesiagirl

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This redditor got their MMR vaccine in the nick of time.

My parents were against the MMR vaccination as my older brother was diagnosed with Aspergers shortly after he received it.

I’m the youngest child and so never got the jab, even though mumps actually caused my mum to go half deaf as a teenager.

It always made me uncomfortable knowing I wasn’t protected and I was of a strong mind to do it eventually, but of course it’s hard going against your parents’ beliefs when they felt so strongly at what had happened to them.

To me it felt like a form of denial of the autism in the family, which they see as much worse than it is—my brother is an amazing guy, and they should give him more credit.

Before you go to Uni you have to get a meningitis jab; while I was at the doctor’s, the doctor suggested giving me the MMR.

I told her my parents were against it and she said she’d give it to me now and then in a few months I could tell them and prove that I was absolutely fine. So I did that.

A few months after receiving the full vaccination, my flatmate and close friend got diagnosed with rubella.

It spread all over her body causing glandular and scarlet fever, she spent over a month in the hospital and was in a fatal position.

If I hadn’t done it at that moment, I could’ve been in serious trouble. And rubella isn’t common here at all.

So if in doubt about going behind their backs, do it for yourself and your own safety, and that’s the only excuse you need. –lazyswayz

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Pro tip: protect yourself from cancer wherever you can.

via: Getty

When the HPV vaccine came out, there was a bunch of stories on the news about girls having poor reactions to it, getting seizures, comas.

Most of it nonsense, but my mother saw the news stories and chose not to get me vaccinated. But then, right after college I had a brief bout of thyroid cancer and decided I would take every precaution I could to not get more cancer.

So I got the shots. I think at the time I didn’t tell my mom, but afterward, it came up.

She was more huffy than anything else, and defended her thoughts at the time, but accepted my decision and reasoning. –xrf_rcc

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This redditor caught three diseases that could have been prevented with one shot.

via: Getty

My parents never explicitly said they were anti-vaccine to me, but I was never vaccinated as a child.

I actually caught Measles, Mumps, and Rubella on separate occasions, luckily diagnosed quickly enough to not cause any major health implications long term, but still a pretty miserable experience each time.

So yeah, thanks for that. –otto82

Finally, read up on the next page about one redditor’s reliance on ‘herd immunity’ (and family troubles because of it), plus an Autistic person’s response to anti-vaxxer concerns.

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One redditor can’t even visit the in-laws.

I am immunosuppressed due to transplant, and my husband’s side of the family are anti-vaxxers.

I don’t think they believe I’m serious about not attending family gatherings ever again.

I know I can bump into a nonvaccinated person by just being out in public, but if I can avoid a known risk, I’m going to do it.

Thank you, everyone, who’s had their shots for helping keep me alive and healthy!! –auntiepink

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Tragedy turned this redditor’s mom into an anti-vaxxer.

via: Getty

My story is a bit complex. My mother is an avid anti-vaxxer, but didn’t become that way until after my late sister died.

She blamed the vaccines she got a few weeks before her death (she was 3 months old) for it, instead of the SIDS tragedy it was.

My next youngest sibling was ‘allergic’ to eggs, and so didn’t get any vaccines until she was 8, after my parents were divorced and we had to move to a new state with new laws.

My two youngest siblings have never been vaccinated against anything. –MomentoMoriBenn

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Even if vaccinations and autism were linked (they aren’t), autistic people are here to tell us it’s not the worst thing that could happen.

As an autistic person here as well it hurts to know that so many parents think it’s the worst possible thing that could happen to their child.

I would think dying of measles ranks a bit higher on that scale. –el1414

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This redditor had a scare after a childhood of anti-vaccination rhetoric.

via: Getty

My mom had a child who became brain damaged during birth due to a hole in the umbilical cord.

She became convinced that there was some malpractice cover-up and gradually that all of medicine is one big conspiracy.

I stopped getting vaccines around 10 due to a mysterious ailment I had that turned out to be recurrent benign positional paroxysmal vertigo.

For some reason, doctors couldn’t figure it out and thought I had brain cancer.

My mom became convinced it was vaccine-related, and claimed she “traced my vaccine” and it was a “bad batch” that had killed a boy who got it.

I stopped getting vaccines and turned in forms to school every year claiming “personal objection” exemption from all vaccines from that point on.

I ended up deciding to become a biomedical scientist and enrolled in a Ph.D. program.

The Hep B vaccine was recommended for all students, and I received the first course of the vaccine…and then mentioned it to my mom.

She FLIPPED OUT.

She told me she couldn’t believe I would do something so stupid, and that there were so many bad reactions I could have and they didn’t all happen immediately.

I started reading horror stories online about bad Hep B shot reactions. And I panicked.

I really thought I may have done something really stupid.

This was pretty ironic since I was in a science Ph.D. program, but I was still making sense of what part of my childhood brainwashing was true and still coming to my own belief system.

In my hesitation/uncertainty, I failed to get the next dose of the Hep B shot in the required time window. I did intend to get it, but I forgot about it in the craziness of grad school.

Fast forward to my 3rd year; I was studying liver cancer and working with a liver cancer cell line called Hep3B.

I was reading the literature and stumbled on a paper that said that scientists had found that Hep3B cells are infected…with LIVE HEPATITIS B VIRUS.

That was really terrifying because I had been working with them for months and definitely had not taken the precautions you are supposed would take if you are working with active human pathogens.

The fact that I passed up a free HepB shot and could have stupidly contracted HepB really crystallized the importance of vaccines for me that day.

I didn’t ever have obvious symptoms of HepB, but nonetheless, I worried that I might have it up until I got pregnant with my daughter and tested negative during the prenatal tests.

Needless to say, my daughter has gotten 100% of her vaccines and will continue to. I chose for her a pediatrician who refuses to see patients who don’t get all of their vaccines on schedule.

I don’t even want to share a waiting room with unvaxxed kids. –the_real_dairy_queen

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Some parents have selective hearing when it comes to vaccines.

My mum was completely against vaccinations.

I only got the MMR by mistake because they didn’t ask the parents – just lined us up outside the library and we went in one by one.

She was furious when I told her what had happened.

I caught whooping cough at age 34, and it was hell.

My partner hates her for putting me through that. I’ve since had a few vaccinations for travel, as has my younger sister.

Neither of us would ever tell our mother that we have had them though.

There was a slight hint a few years back, and she was already through the roof before my sister corrected herself and lied to cover the mention.

We will never tell her. –realbasilisk

Like this story? Share and spread the word of these redditors’ firsthand accounts of the dangers associated with a lack of vaccinations.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/30-children-of-anti-vaxxers-tell-their-stories/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/176965626227