#and in april we moved in with her other best friend
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#it’s really hard not to feel like the 3rd wheel roommate in my house tbh#my best friend and i have been living together for 2 and a half years#years#and in april we moved in with her other best friend#and they leave me out of stuff all the time#thursday and yesterday and today#they asked if i wanted to go to dollar tree today and i said no bc i have to study bc i’m the only one in school for the summer#and then they just went to a concert and a patio without me and i was like well. if you were doing all that#and again just hanging out all the time without me#and it’s really hard not taking in personally?#bc i genuinely don’t think it’s about me specifically but like. it’s hard#i’m also the only one with a job#and they do stuff all the time when i’m at work instead of just waiting until i get home or smth.#like fuck#i know it’s not personal but it feels personal#fuck me i’m such a whiner#sam rants
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Princess
"But daddy, I love him!"
Warnings: the stroll family, hints of smut
April, 2022
"Princess."
Her expression was vicious as she looked at the man in the orange race suit. But he was smirking as he sauntered towards her. She gripped the table top she was sitting on, ready to kick him away if he got to close. "What do you want, Norris?"
"Shouldn't you be in the Aston Martin garage?" He leaned on the table beside her, looked up at her through his pretty eye lashes. God, she couldn't stand him.
She nodded towards Daniel, her future brother-in-law's best friend. He had somehow become her best friend, too, through the near two years they had known each other. But him drove for McLaren, and his teammate was an ass.
Lando was so close. If anybody else was this close to her, she would have been pushing them away, calling them a creep. But this was almost a challenge. She was daring him to come closer, to lay his hands on her. He was smart enough not to.
"You know you're on my side of the garage, right?"
"You know I don't care, right?"
The two stared at each other. No, she wasn't going to move. She let her legs swing as she looked across the McLaren garage, looked towards Daniel and Scotty.
Lando wasn't looking at her as the next words left his lips. "Come to my hotel room later," he whispered. The only indication that she heard him was when she stopped swinging her legs. Lando didn't know if this was a yes, but he walked away from her, walked over to his engineer.
She hopped off of the table and walked over to Daniel and Scotty. It was so natural for her to tuck herself under Scotty's arm, as if he was already her brother-in-law.
Daniel and Scotty looked down at the youngest member of the Stroll family. "Are we heading back?" She asked, looking at him so sweetly.
Scotty squeezed her shoulder and looked at his friend. "Duty calls," he said and walked away with her still tucked under his arm. But it wasn't the easiest way to walk and, as they headed out of the McLaren garage, she freed herself from his grip.
"What were you and Lando talking about?" Scotty asked, his voice filled with genuine curiosity as they walked.
She shrugged her shoulders and smoothed out the skirts of her little black dress. It was one of those sports dresses, with the shorts built into them. She wasn't exactly doing any sport, but it was cute and it was so damn hot in Australia. "He was just being an ass," she said as Scotty walked her to the Aston Martin garage.
The name Lando had called her wasn't cute, or mocking. It was what everybody called her. She was Lawrence Stroll's youngest child, his little princess. He didn't want her walking the paddock by herself, which was why Scotty was by her side like a loyal lap dog. Anything to make his future father-in-law happy.
Scotty raised his eyebrows at her, but she shrugged him off and skipped over to her family.
***
The hotel corridor was dark, quiet. She tiptoed along, her feet in the fluffy slippers she had insisted that she brought to every race weekend. The reason she needed them was incredibly simple: She refused to sneak through a hotel corridor with nothing on her feet.
He had texted her the room number just minutes before, waiting for the moment she wasn't surrounded by her family. As soon as he had texted her, she got changed, dressing in her prettiest lingerie and his old shirt.
She had stolen it on the last race weekend, had kept it hidden in her bag as she headed back home. There was nothing he loved more than seeing her in his clothing.
Nobody came out of their rooms as she knocked on his. There was a moment before the hotel room door was pulled open, a moment where he looked through the peephole, made sure it was her.
The minute he opened the door, she launched herself at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he pushed the door shut. "Jesus," he whispered through a laugh as his arms settled around her, holding her against his body.
She allowed herself to be dragged into the hotel room. She was kissing all over his face as he settled on the bed and pulled her onto his lap. "Hi, Princess," he whispered as she kissed him again.
She kissed him again, cutting off whatever he was going to say next. Lando didn't much mind, though. He kissed her back eagerly as her hands moved into his hair. "You should let it grow out," she said through kissed as she tugged at his hair. He let out a throaty groan.
His fingers travelled down her sides, almost light enough to tickle her. She squirmed away slightly as he gripped the bottom of her shirt. "This mine?" He asked and went to pull it up over her head.
She nodded and lifted her arms. Lando pulled off her shirt and threw it into the corner of his hotel room. His lips moved down her neck, kissing his way to her chest.
She tugged on his hair again as he kissed her chest, hands grabbing at her waist. He moved her against him, rocked her in his lap. "Have you got the matching undies on, too?"
Pulling away, she smacked his shoulder. "Lando, don't call it that!" She cried and glared at him.
He threw his head back and looked at her through his lower lashes. "You want to get it on, or what?" He asked, almost joking as he bucked her hips up and launched her forwards, into his chest.
She pushed on his chest as she sat up. "Classy," she whispered , but she was grinning as she pushed her pyjama shorts down and reached for him.
"You know it," he said, sitting back with his hands behind his head.
June, 2023
Daniel was no longer driving for McLaren. She had no reason to go over to the McLaren garage, not now that Daniel wasn't driving.
Sitting in the Aston Martin garage was incredibly boring. She tapped away at her phone, nails clicking against the screen as she texted. "You don't have to be here, you know," Lance said as if he could tell how badly she wanted to be somewhere else. "You can go home."
But she didn't want to go home. She wanted to head to the McLaren garage and watch Lando do his thing. "But..." She looked around the garage, looking for any excuse to stay in the garage. "I want to watch Nando do his thing."
Rolling his eyes, Lance stood and left her to it.
Someone was watching her. Her phone pinged and she looked down at her screen. you look pretty today. She looked up to see him in front of the Aston Martin garage. He wasn't looking at her, instead pretending to frown at his phone.
Stalker, she replied, unable to hide her grin. And I look pretty everyday.
She saw him laugh to himself, glance up quickly, and walk off. no, you're right, he sent to her as he walked back to the McLaren garage. you do look pretty everyday
So do you, Norris
When her father walked over, she quickly locked her phone. "What do you think of Lando Norris?" He asked as he sat down beside her.
It took her a moment to realise that he was talking to her. Lawrence never went to his youngest daughter to talk about Formula One. Yes, she had been there for most of Lance's career, but what did she know?
"Uh, he's nice," she said quickly. It was so damn hard to act nonchalant about him. Behind closed doors, she was loving him so intensely, but her father couldn't know.
Lawrence leaned forward in his seat, surveying the pitlane in front of them. "We're considering him for the team."
Her heart hammered in her chest. "To be Fernando's teammate?" She asked, gripping the arm of her little chair so tightly.
"To be Lance's teammate."
Fuck, they were going to destroy his career. "Dad, you can't!" She said quickly as she stood up. "He's always gonna drive for McLaren, it would be stupid to even try to offer him a contact. And you know it's just gonna upset Fernando."
She had said it so quickly, Lawrence regarded her with suspicion. He'd looked at her like that once before, when she was a teenager and sneaking that boy in and out of her room. She shrunk under his gaze when she realised he knew that something was going on.
"You're not..."
"No, of course not! Dad, that's a stupid accusation! We're just..."
But the words died on her tongue. Shaking his head, Lawrence settled his hand on her shoulder. "Princess, you're an adult now," he said. "I don't care who you're seeing, as long as you're happy and not being hurt."
She raised her head to look at her dad, her brows furrowed. "So, we don't need to hide?"
He shook his head. Before Lawrence could say anything more, she was gone, running towards the McLaren garage.
#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris smut#lando norris x you#ln4#ln4 imagine#ln4 x reader#f1#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine
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Camping — oneshot
Harry and Y/N were friends in college until that day. Now they are being forced to face one another...
Author's note: this one shot was posted on Patreon a long time ago. Happy that you all have a chance to read it!
check out my patreon and get access to this week new one shot (y/n's bff dad) and much more :)
warning: smut
word count: 4.8K
masterlist
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"I can’t believe you’re making me do this," she said as April tossed her backpack into the back of her car. "This feels like kidnapping."
"Stop being so dramatic and get in the car," April replied, a big smile on her face. You and April had been best friends since college, bonding over the ridiculous workload assigned to your class each week. You were opposites: you loved city life, running water, and comfort, while April thrived on nature, adventure, and challenges. She adored plants and meticulously cared for the ones she had at home. In contrast, April had once gifted you a cactus, which you managed to kill.
"I got us muffins and coffee from that place you love," April said.
"Is this your way of bribing me into going?" you asked, reaching for the bag of treats. "I know this is Mark’s idea." April just shrugged as she started driving.
"Aren’t you tired of the city? This will be good for you! All you do is work, sleep, watch The Office, work out, and repeat," April said, giggling as you stopped chewing.
"Leave The Office out of this," you warned. It had been your favorite show since high school, your comfort show, always playing in your apartment. You even tried to get others hooked on it. "I’ve seen you laugh."
"Listen, there’s something I need to tell you," April said, turning down the music.
"Did Mark propose?" you asked immediately, knowing they were endgame. The three of you had met in college and stayed close ever since.
"No," April replied.
"You’re pregnant then?!"
"Shut up!" April interrupted. "Harry is coming. Mark invited him, and I had no say in it," she blurted out, like ripping off a band-aid.
"Oh! Let me out. I am not going," you said, instantly annoyed at the mention of his name. "I thought Mark and he weren’t friends anymore."
"He just came back from America. He called Mark a few weeks ago, and they had drinks and dinner together. Apparently, he’s changed and is more mature." You rolled your eyes as you finished eating your muffin. Your appetite was gone, and you felt suddenly nervous. "You have to let go of that grudge against him!"
"It’s not a grudge, April. The man ghosted me after we had sex. That was all he was after. Him leaving was the best thing that could have happened to all of us," you said. You had fallen for his charm, and after much convincing, you finally gave in during your senior year.
"You’ve moved on, and so has he. I’m just asking you to be polite, babe," April insisted. "I just want us to have a good time."
You sighed, leaning back in your seat as the cityscape blurred past. "Fine. But if he starts anything, I'm not holding back."
April laughed, patting your leg. "That's the spirit. Just remember, we're here to relax and have fun."
The rest of the drive was filled with casual chatter and music, the tension slowly easing. As you neared your destination, a clearing in the woods where you would set up camp, you couldn't help but appreciate the serene beauty of the place. The stress of city life began to melt away, replaced by a reluctant sense of peace.
April parked the car and you both got out, stretching your legs and taking in the fresh air. "It’s gorgeous out here," you admitted begrudgingly.
"See? Told you it would be worth it," April said, grinning.
Mark emerged from behind the car, waving. "Hey, you two! Glad you made it. I'm surprised you managed to convince Y/N,” he said, wrapping his arms around April.
“It took a lot,” April giggled as Mark kissed her cheek. “Muffins and coffee.”
“I can still go back,” you said, throwing your backpack over your shoulder. “How long is this hike going to take?” you asked, walking up to Mark and giving him a friendly side hug.
“About thirty minutes. Is that fine or are you going to melt?” he teased, grinning.
April slapped his chest playfully before opening the trunk to get the rest of the stuff out. “Where’s your friend, anyway? Or is he still the unpunctual asshole he always was?”
“M’ right here” Harry said as he emerged from the trail that they were going to take to the campsite. You abstained from saying anything surprised at his appearance. He had kept his good looks. He had even gotten more attractive with more age. However, you would never admit it aloud.
April turned to look at you with her eyes widen opened. You gave her the same look, letting her know that you agreed. Harry wore tiny black shorts that left little to imagination. His legs seemed to never end and his thighs were inked. His grey shirt was tight enough sculpt his chest and his pectorals. His curls were tucked under his basketball cap and his eyes hidden away by some aviator sunglasses.
“You were saying, Y/N? I didn’t catch the last part” Harry asked you, with a small smirk. “Are you still a yapping bitch?”
“Just that we should start the hike” You responded, looking straight at him. You weren’t the same quiet and shy girl you were in college. You had matured and life experiences had shaped you. You were more outgoing and vocal about your opinions.
“I thought so” you heard him say as you turned your back towards him.
As you all gathered the camping gear, the anticipation of the weekend settled in. The woods were peaceful, with the sun filtering through the trees, casting dappled shadows on the ground. Birds chirped in the distance, and the fresh scent of pine filled the air.
Mark led the way, carrying the heavier equipment with Harry, while April and you followed. Despite your reservations, the beauty of the surroundings began to work its magic, and you found yourself relaxing a bit.
After a short walk, you reached the designated camping spot, a small clearing by a bubbling brook. It was picturesque, almost like a scene from a nature magazine. You couldn’t help but admit, if only to yourself, that it was a nice change from the city’s hustle and bustle.
"That was more than thirty minutes," you complained, dropping to the ground to rest your legs. "You're lucky the view was pretty." Mark and April laughed, while Harry remained silent, just watching you.
"Let's set up camp," Mark said, and he and April began unloading the gear. You took the opportunity to pull out the speaker and connect your phone.
As you selected a playlist, music filled the air, blending with the natural sounds of the forest. You watched as Mark and April worked together seamlessly, their laughter and chatter a comforting background noise. Harry joined in, helping with the heavier items, his actions precise and deliberate. You couldn’t help but feel a simmering resentment toward him, remembering the night that had led up to the hate that you had grown towards him.
You glanced around, taking in the beauty of the campsite. Tall trees encircled the clearing, their leaves rustling in the soft breeze. The nearby brook added a soothing melody to the scene, and the late afternoon sun cast a warm, golden glow over everything.
Harry approached, handing you a bottle of water. "You looked like you could use this," he said, his tone neutral.
"Thanks," you replied curtly, accepting the bottle but avoiding eye contact. His gesture did little to ease the tension between you.
With the tents set up and the campsite organized, the four of you gathered around the fire pit. Mark expertly built a fire, and soon the flames were crackling as the sun descended behind the trees, providing warmth and a focal point for the group.
"How was America?" Mark asked Harry as he handed him a beer. "Did you enjoy living there?"
"It was nice for a while," Harry replied, taking a sip. "But it got lonely after a bit. I'm actually happy to be back."
"Marketing, right?" April asked, earning a quick nod from Harry.
You listened quietly, not fully trusting his cheerful demeanor. It was hard to forget the history between you.
"Well, we're glad to have you back," Mark said, clinking his beer bottle against Harry’s. "It’s like old times again."
April smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, just with more responsibilities and less reckless behavior."
"Speak for yourself," Mark joked, earning a playful nudge from April.
Harry chuckled, but his eyes kept drifting toward you. You avoided his gaze, focusing on the fire instead.
Mark instantly got up from his spot, his eyes twinkled mischievously as he took off his jacket and shirt.
April raised an eyebrow, “What are you doing?!”
“I’m going for a swim” he said, grinning widely as he took of his pants along with his boxers.
You burst out laughing, shaking your head as you covered your eyes not wanting to look at your best friend’s boyfriend privates.
“A swim? It’s pretty late, Mark.” April said as Mark used his hands to cover himself.
“Why not?” Mark said, standing up and stretching. “We’re out here in the middle of nowhere, no one around for miles. It’ll be fun.” He wanted to cut the tension. He wanted for everyone to have fun and it was a way to get everyone out of the funk especially the both of you. “Oh, it’s fucking cold” He said as he ran towards the lake.
April rolled her eyes but smiled. “You’re crazy, you know that?” she yelled after him as she got up from her spot.
“That’s why you love me,” Mark quipped, winking at her.
You bit your lip, considering it. The idea was wild and spontaneous, something you wouldn’t normally do. But maybe that’s what made it appealing.
“Alright,” you said, surprising yourself. “I’m in. But if anyone mentions this to anyone back home, I’m denying everything.” as you started stripping. You couldn’t see Harry, but you could feel Harry’s stare on you.
April laughed. “This should be interesting. Okay, I’m in too.”
Mark clapped his hands together. “Harry?” He yelled as he splashed water. The water was surprisingly warmer than expected.
As soon as your pants came off, you sprinted towards the water, not wanting to give anyone a chance to inspect your body. April followed right behind you, and before you knew it, both of you were submerged in the cool, refreshing water.
The initial shock of the cold water took your breath away, but it quickly turned invigorating. You surfaced, laughing and pushing your wet hair out of your face. April emerged beside you, her laughter echoing across the lake.
"This is crazy!" she shouted, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
Harry was right behind, diving into the water with loud splashes. The four of you swam around, the thrill of the spontaneous adventure making everyone giddy.
"Not your worst idea, Mark," you admitted, floating on your back and gazing up at the starry sky. "This is lovely." Mark grinned, splashing water at you.
“Things haven’t changed at much. We still let you convince us into doing shit” said, his tone lighter than it had been all evening.
For a while, you all floated and swam, the cool water refreshing and the company surprisingly pleasant. The tension and animosity seemed to wash away with the gentle waves.
The atmosphere grew quieter as April nestled closer to Mark, the two of them wrapped up in each other's presence, sharing quiet moments and exchanging soft words. The only sounds breaking the silence were the faint music playing in the background and the gentle crackling of the fire.
You glanced over at April and Mark, their closeness evident in the way they leaned into each other, their whispered conversations carrying an intimacy that made you smile despite yourself. It was a rare sight, seeing them so openly affectionate, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy mixed with genuine happiness for them.
Harry saw opposite you, lost in his thoughts as he stared at the sky. The events of the evening seemed to have softened his demeanor, his usual guarded expression replaced by a contemplative look. For once, the animosity between you felt less palpable, overshadowed by the camaraderie of the evening.
The music played softly in the background, a soothing backdrop to the quiet moments shared among friends. The night air was cool against your skin, but the warmth of the water and the company kept you comfortable.
"It's good to see you again, pup," Harry spoke up suddenly, his voice breaking the peaceful silence. The old nickname tugged at your emotions. He had called you that since college, back when you both shared dreams and aspirations.
You looked at him, caught off guard by his unexpected warmth. "Yeah," you replied softly.
"I heard you landed your dream job," he continued, glancing at you with a hint of a smile. You nodded, trying to conceal your own smile. "A reporter for BBC News. I remember how you used to talk about it non-stop. Proud of you."
“Thanks. How is your mom and Gemma?" you asked, recalling that final year of uni when Harry had invited you to his family home. It had been Easter weekend, a time when you got to meet the two women who made Harry’s world turn.
Harry's face softened at the mention of his family. "They're doing well," he replied, a hint of fondness in his voice. "Mom's as busy as ever, and Gemma is a mum now”
"Wait, what?!" You were taken aback, genuinely surprised by the news. It was unexpected, and you hadn't seen it coming.
Harry chuckled softly at your surprised reaction, his eyes reflecting a mix of amusement and pride. "Yeah, she had a baby girl a few months ago," he explained, his voice tinged with happiness. "It's been quite the adjustment, but she's doing great."
You couldn't help but smile at the thought of Gemma as a mother. "That's amazing," you replied genuinely. "Congratulations to her."
As you processed this new information, you felt a twinge of nostalgia for the times you had spent with Harry and his family. It seemed like another lifetime ago, yet the memories were still vivid in your mind. Despite the distance that had grown between you, moments like these reminded you of the bonds that once connected you.
"Listen, Y/N..." Harry began, but he was swiftly cut off by Mark and April.
"We're heading out. We are starving!" Mark called out, trailing after April as they exited.
Harry paused, his words hanging in the air as Mark and April hurriedly headed towards the campsite. You exchanged a glance with Harry, both of you momentarily sidelined by the interruption.
“I’ll see you out there” You said, trying to sound casual despite the awkwardness of the moment. Deep down, you wondered what Harry had wanted to say—whether it was something about the past or the tentative future you both seemed to be tiptoeing around. However, you didn’t want to stay behind. You weren’t skeptical about giving him a chance to explain himself.
Carefully, you swam back to shore and climbed out of the water. Attempting to regain your composure and stride confidently back to camp, you couldn't help but feel you'd failed miserably, especially with the chilly air gnawing at you.
Everyone changed into comfortable clothes while Mark prepared hot dogs for dinner.
"Did you bring your sleeping bag?" April asked, emerging from her tent.
"Yeah, I think so. It was in the hall by the door," you replied, brushing your hair. As you watched April search for it, a feeling of panic began to creep in. You mentally retraced your steps, recalling the things you had taken out of the trunk.
"No way," you muttered under your breath, frantically rummaging through your belongings. "I thought we grabbed everything!"
"What’s wrong? What are you looking for?" Harry asked, wanting to help.
"I think I left my sleeping bag at home," you sighed, realizing it was going to be a tough night. You had brought your tent, but sleeping on the bare ground wasn’t part of the plan.
Harry frowned, considering the situation. "we'll figure something out," he said, his voice reassuring.
Mark, overhearing the conversation, turned from the campfire where he was tending to the hot dogs. "I brought an extra blanket. It's not a sleeping bag, but it should help.”
"Thanks, Mark," you said, grateful for the gesture. Still, the thought of an uncomfortable night's sleep loomed over you.
April emerged triumphantly with a blanket. "Here, hopefully this makes it more comfortable," she said.
You took the blanket from her, managing a small smile. This trip was definitely not going as you had expected—it seemed like one thing after another.
"Hot dogs are ready!" Mark announced cheerfully as he handed everyone their plate and they gathered around the fire.
“Remember the last time we went camping?” April asked as she swallowed a bite of her hot dog.
“Wasn’t that the time that Mark though there was a bear attacking us?” Harry smirked, taking a bite of his hot dog. “What animal was it?”
“It was a racoon” You joined in, the memory making you chuckle.
“In my defense it was SO loud! It made a lot of noise” Mark laughed, shaking his head. “It was bloody big”.
"Was that before or after you tried to scare it away by singing 'Eye of the Tiger' at the top of your lungs?” April busted out laughing.
“He was so off-key. I am surprised the racoon put up a fight”
“I was just trying to protect us!” Mark threw up his hands in mock indignation.
Everyone busted into laughter again, the tension had melted away in the shared amusement. For a moment, it felt like old times, with jokes and stories like in college.
Later, as you settled into your tent with the borrowed blanket, you couldn’t help but think about all the conversations that you had with your friends. Harry's earlier attempt to talk still lingered in your mind, and you knew that the conversation was far from over.
Just as you were about to drift off, you heard a soft knock on the tent flap. "Hey, you still awake?" It was Harry’s voice.
You sat up, your heart beating a little faster. "Yeah, what’s going on?"
Harry unzipped the tent entrance and peeked in, holding a sleeping bag. "I thought you might need this."
"You brought an extra one?" you asked, suspicion creeping into your voice.
"Yeah," he replied, but his eyes betrayed him. You knew Harry too well to be fooled.
"You're lying," you said, stopping him just as he turned to leave. "You can’t fool me. I know you, Harry Styles. I know this is your sleeping bag."
He paused, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "So, what if it is?"
"That I’m not taking your sleeping bag from you," you insisted, handing it back to him. "Thank you, though."
He hesitated, the flickering firelight casting shadows across his face. "Let's share it then," he suggested softly.
You blinked, taken aback by his offer. You were nervous. The though of you sharing such a tight space and being in such proximity made your heart beat faster and the palms of your hands sweaty.
“Are you sure?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” he said firmly, stepping into the tent. “It’s cold, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable”.
With a nod, you scooted over to make room. Harry stretched out the sleeping back and unzipped it for both of you. As you both settled into the sleeping bag, the proximity was comforting, but unsettling at the same time. The warmth of his body next to yours was a stark contrast to the chilly night air. You both shared a pillow and the blanket that April had giving you.
His scent enveloped you — a mix of pine, musk and a hint of the campfire smoke. His warmth radiated through the thin layers of the fabric, soothing the chill of the night air. The gently rise and fall of his chest against your back created a rhythmic presence. His arm draped lightly over your side and the sensation of his body pressed against yours brought an unexpected sense of nostalgia.
“Are you confortable?” He whispered as if sharing. secret, as if what you were doing was somehow forbidden.
You nodded slight, feeling the wright of his questions. “I am” you whispered back, the darkness amplifying the intimacy of the moment.
The silence that followed was filled with the soft sounds of the forest and the distant crackle of the campfire outside.
“Thank you” you murmured, your voice barely audible.
“No problem” he replied softly, his words brushing against the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.
You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sink into the moment. There was still something in the air. Something unspoken.
“Remember that night?” Harry whispered after a while, his voice a gently murmur in the quiet night. Referring to the night of passion that they had shared back in uni. The night that had stayed with you ever since.
“Every second of it” you replied, your voice tinged with a mixture of longing and hurt. Memories flooding back, vivid and bittersweet. You could still recall the feel of his lips, the way his touch had ignited a fire within you. “Why did you never call or text back?”
Harry sighed softly, his warm breath against your neck. “I was a coward,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret. “I was scared of what I felt for you, of how much you meant to me. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I ran”
His words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions. You turn slightly to look at him, your eyes searching his for the truth. In the dim light of the tent, you could see raw vulnerability that he rarely showed.
“I thought I wasn’t good enough for you” You admitted, “I resented you for it” Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of relief and sorrow.
“I am wrong. I was so wrong. I missed you” he confessed. Harry reached out, gently brushing a tear from your cheek.
The air between you grew thick with unspoken words and lingering emotions. His eyes locked onto yours, his gaze intense and unwavering. You could feel yourself drawing closer, every inch of space between you crackling with tension. The warmth of his body, the gently rise and fall of his chest and the soft brush of his breath against your skin all conspired to lure you to him.
He hesitated, his eyes flicking down to your lips, and you felt like your breath hitch, the moment stretching into an eternity. The desire to close the gap, to feel the familiar yet thrilling sensation of his kiss, was overwhelming and every fiber of you yearned for that kiss that would final bridge all those years of resentment.
Harry’s gaze was intense, his eyes searching yours as if trying to decipher your every thought. His hand trembled slightly as he reached out, cupping your cheek with a tenderness that spoke volumes.
With a deep breath, Harry leaned in slowly, closing the miniscule gap between you. His lips brushed against yours with a feather light touch, tentative yet filled with longing. His lips were warm and soft, fitting against yours as if they had always belonged there.
A soft sigh escaped Harry’s lips, a mixture of relief. His hand moved from your cheek to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer. The kiss deepened, each movement a silent confession of years of yearning and regret.
Lost in the moment, you ran your fingers through his hair, savoring the texture and the closeness it brough. His touch sent sparks through your body, awakening every nerve ending with a delicious ache between your legs that only he could take care of.
“Let me have you” His breath mingling with yours as he whispered, “I want you so bad” His hand took yours, guiding it to him, making you feel the intensity of his longing and the very evident erection that he had grown for her. His words hung in the air, heavy with desire.
You nodded slowly, your breath hitching in your throat. "Yes," you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. "I want you too.” You didn’t think much about it. Your mind was too clouded.
Harry closed the distance between you, his lips capturing yours in a kiss both tender and urgent. He used the kiss to roll you to your side with your back towards him. Harry pulled off the sweater off your body and pull the straps of your bralette off your shoulders, exposing more skin for his lips to capture.
Harry hands came down to your pants as his lips trailed down to your neck, each kiss a lingering, deliberate caress that sent shivers down your spine. As his mouth found the sensitive spot just below your ear, he paused, letting his lips brush lightly over your pulse point before his right hand found its way into your underwear.
“Try to stay quiet, yeah?” As his fingers started playing with you, touching your most intimate spots. His knee came between your legs, spreading them more and allowing him to explore more of you.
Harry left arm went under her head, for you to rest your head against his bicep while he had his way with you. You bit your lips, arching your hips towards his hand just as his fingers entered you. A rush of pleasure coursed through you, mingling with a cascade of nerves that made your heart race.
“God. You are so wet, pup” He groaned as he tried his best to contain himself. Harry left hand came down to cover your mouth as your moans got louder. “You are doing so good, baby”, he mumbled, his arms tightening around you.
“For the love of fuck” you gasped as you came undone on his fingers. It was hot, you were both still nuzzled in the sleeping bag. Just as you unzipped the sleeping bag and sat up, you caught Harry sucking the same two fingers that had been in you a second ago.
“Come here” Harry commanded as he slipped off his joggers and boxers. It was a sight that she hoped to never forget. The muscles of his abdomen flexed proof that he spent his diligent time at the gym. His erection stood tall and proudly inviting you to ride him.
You slipped off your pants and underwear. Harry hands gripped your waist tightly and guided you down on to him. The pleasure was instant as he stretched you out. Harry’s fingers gripped you tightly, holding you still for a second as you both adjusted to the sensation.
His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as his head was thrown back.
“Show me how much you missed me” You said to him which only ignited the fire within him. His hands guided your hips, as you both tried to find the perfect rhythm to drive you off the edge.
“Look at you. So fuckin’ perfect just f’me” Your words only ignited the fire within him, a spark that quickly grew into an all-consuming blaze.
His hands firmly guided your hips, every movement deliberate and driven by an intense desire to bring you both to the peak of ecstasy. The sensation of his strong hands on your skin, the way he moved with you, sent waves of pleasure rippling through your body. You both sought the perfect rhythm, each thrust and shift in sync, the friction and pressure building with every passing second.
“Oh, baby… you are so tight” he moaned, Harry’s grip tightened on your waist, his fingernails digging into your skin. Your thrust and grinding became sloppier and soon enough both of you were moaning. You clenched around him as Harry lifted his hips from the ground as you both came undone.
You laid down on his chest with him still in you. It was comforting, having him in you. Harry’s hands came up and brushed your sweaty hair back.
“You aren’t going to disappear now, are you?” You asked as he drew patterns on your sweaty back.
“I am not going anywhere”.
#harry#harrystyles#harry imagine#harry imagines#harry styles imagine#harry styles imagines#harry fanfic#harry fic#harry fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfiction#harry blurb#harry angst#harry smut#harry fluff#harry dabble#harry trope#harry styles angst#harry styles blurb#harry styles smut#harry styles dabble#harry styles trope#harry styles fluff#harry one shot#harry styles one shot#harry x you#harry x reader#harry x y/n#harry styles x you
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The Open Window Lets The Rain In
pairing: satoru x reader (semi suguru x reader)
synopsis: Your time at Jujutsu Tech was something of a sanctuary for you. The position you were born for did not allow you wishes of your own. Resigning yourself to your destiny, you savor the moments you have with your friends. And don't dare to wish for more.
tags/warnings -angst to eventual fluff, multi pov, canon compliant, series, mentions of child abuse, manipulation, malnutrition, violence, injuries, and smoking-
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
"We ought to start back, Satoru." The other boy urged, parroting the concerns of their teacher. But while Satoru pretended not to hear his dark-haired classmate, you truly hadn't. Your focus was all too consumed by the people in the distance. Laughing and enjoying their day together, oblivious to the fact that they carried with them every unspoken wish silently held within your heart comfortably in their grasp.
"Huh?" You murmured, looking back up to your classmates ahead of you, realizing they had been calling your name for some time.
"Get a move on! Unless you want Yaga to lecture us all again!" Satoru shouted back to your nodding face. The boys turn from you and you shake the thoughts from your head.
It was time to turn back.
--
You had been quite young when your cursed energy had presented, and you have been paying for it ever since.
--
It had barely been six months since you began classes at the Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School. You had joined in your second year, having spent your first over in the Kyoto branch. Near the end of your third semester Gakuganji, the school's principal, seemed certain that your potential would be better utilized in Tokyo. With this news, you had left without complaint.
Back then, you hadn't been sure you would fit in with the group of second years, but by the end of April, the small class had accepted you with open arms.
Your education prior to high school had been selective and rigorous, not in the academic sense but rather, in the physical. This, paired with your immense cursed energy made it easy to catch up with your fellow special-grade classmates.
Satoru Gojo was not at all what you had been expecting. He was immature and flamboyant. He seemed not to have a care in the world. Just as you had anticipated, however, his strength was insurmountable.
Suguru Geto was lenient and sarcastic. Like you, his parents were non-sorcerers. Even so, he went home to live with them during breaks, and his family accepted him for what he was.
Shoko Ieiri was the most laid back among the three, she also had the most technical skill. She was easy to like and the two of you had been fast friends. You both often made fun of the boys behind their backs.
"Do we really have to do this tonight, Geto?" Shoko is sat on the dorm room sink, lighter in hand.
"Don't tell me you're getting squeamish Shoko, need to take a breather?" Satoru is making a falsely pouty face as Shoko twirls a sewing needle between her fingers.
You're standing before Geto marking his earlobes with a pen.
"If anyone is squeamish it's you Satoru. But Y/n's got a mission tomorrow, she should be in bed." Shoko jumps off the sink, throws a look at the white-haired man and tilted her face to look between the markings you've made on Suguru's ears. "That looks pretty even."
"Awe boo hoo, a mission with the first years, so tough." Satoru rolls his eyes. "Why does Yaga always send you, anyway?" The man looks at the back of your frame. Your school jacket was strewn across Sugurus desk, you're clad in your dark, high-necked top. You've pulled your hair away from your face.
"He sends me because I'm responsible" You murmur, rubbing alcohol on the back of Suguru's ears, turning finally to smirk, "Unlike you three." You take the needle from Shoko and do your best to sterilize it with the flame, you set the earrings Geto chose on the side table next to him.
"Don't lump me in with those two." Shoko looks at you, offended, but you just laugh.
"Now, it might hurt a bit after I shove the jewelry in, just so you know." You meet Suguru's eyes. He looks calm, a grin present on his lips.
Satoru comes in close on the other side of you two. Loudly proclaiming, "Oh, please, if that tiny thing hurts he might as well not be a sorcerer." The boy's glasses are solid black but you can tell he is rolling his eyes dramatically.
You make a face at him but Suguru draws your attention once more. "Ignore him" he laughs, and you join in because you know that it is the very thing Satoru cannot stand. Said boy huffs beside you both.
"Alright, count of three." You stand to the boys left and you can see Satoru swallow thickly. Such a child.
Shoko is watching intently, stowing her lighter back in her pocket, you're leaning your knee against the bedframe Suguru is sat upon and Satoru is trying his best to even his breathing.
"One," you hold the tip of Sugurus ear, "two," you pick up the small black stud and roll it in your other hand, "three." You put the needle head on the tiny marking you put there, and press.
Suguru does not even flinch. Satoru lets out a pathetic noise and aggressively swings around so as not to look.
You try not to laugh while focusing on getting the jewelry in your classmates ear without too much pain but Shoko is toppling over herself with laughter.
"S-Satoru!!" She guffaws. "You are so-" but she can't finish, the giggles escaping steal her words.
Satoru is shuttering, having dashed in the bathroom now, he kneels by the sink, continually making disgusted sounds, running his hands over his arms to ease the chills.
"That wasn't so bad." You say, ignoring Satoru's noises. Shoko brings out a small mirror to show Suguru and he makes a pleased sound.
"Not at all..." He murmurs, turning his neck to get a better look.
"Leave it at the one." Satoru is back now, quickly crossing his arms. "I'm not watching that again."
"I bought a pair, Satoru, I'm doing them both." Suguru gives the boy a deadpan look and you prep the next earring while Satoru makes an annoyed "Ughhh" sound.
The self-proclaimed strongest sorcerer bites his knuckles while looking at the two of you. And when it's done, you worry he might faint. After a closer look though, he might just be in search of attention.
"All done. You should probably keep them clean." You turn to wash your hands.
"Mhmm, probably." Shoko echos, giggling still.
"Thanks." Geto stood up to look in a bigger mirror.
"Ughhhh Yaga is gonna kill you." Shoko looks up at Suguru and smiles, a sort of "tattle-tale" "I told you so" air to her voice.
"That's fine, it was worth it." Suguru waves her off, you give his ears one last look before making to leave with Shoko to your hall.
"Ohhhh yeah, I forgot! Y/n's got a big day tomorrow. So tiering, monitoring those first years." Satoru teases to the other boy. You chuckle and Shoko turns.
"As if you would know." She sticks her tongue out before making to leave with you, kicking the door shut.
"He's so stupid." She rolls her eyes, flipping her phone open.
You just hum, turning the halls in the silence.
--
The weather had long since grown warm in the ending weeks of spring, consistent as you were, however, you pulled your near-black turtleneck past your abdomen while dressing that morning. In the past, Shoko has jovially claimed you always wear the same thing, even outside of school.
Your uniform, customized to your comfort, consists of straight-cut, dark blue pants, your uniform jacket, and a form-fitted turtleneck. It did when you were at the Kyoto branch, and you have no intention of changing it now.
You shut the door of your closet, the rack of muted high-collar shirts hung there. Each tag was removed. Though easy now to ignore, you cannot avoid the region of sensitive flesh permanently branded just below your neck.
The early morning air is crisp, and in the time you have before shadowing Nanami and Haibara's mission, you allow yourself to enjoy the dull peace it brings to your morning.
Satoru thinks the first years are weak. Or maybe he just says that, you can never quite tell if he means all that he says. Regardless, they are skilled enough to handle a mission on their own. Even so, Yaga insists on someone monitoring them, after this years exchange event, if all goes well, perhaps they will be allowed to handle missions themselves.
You were hoping that your thoughts weren't too wishful when you are pulled from them, Haibara, adrenaline-filled and curious, calling your name.
"I've never really seen you use your technique, I mean, I guess that's the point, but I think I probably know more about Gojo's cursed energy than yours! And I barely ever see him!" Nanami is trailing slightly behind his classmate, listening to him ramble.
"Well" you hum, "That's good, don't you think? Just means you never need me to intervene on a mission." You look over and smile.
"Awe c'mon! What is it that you do? I'm so interested! I hope I can be a special grade one day too! Though, I doubt I ever will at this rate..." He mumbles around his words, seemingly too focused on his thoughts to actually be worried about his placement as a sorcerer.
"You already know about my technique, Haibara. I create weapons with my cursed energy. That's about it... I'm pretty lucky though, since they're not physical items, most curses can't really see them which means they can't tell what it is I'm using."
You lift your arm in front of yourself, palm up, in an instant your short sword appears there, held at equilibrium, a few inches up the blade. As soon as it appeared, the weapon melts away in your grasp and you look up at the boy, knowing he couldn't have seen what you'd just done.
"Except Gojo, right?" Nanami is beside you now, trying to meet your eyes. You turn to him.
"Yes..." sighing, you look up at him, "Yes, that's right- Gojo, he's the exception to a lot of things."
Nanami shakes his head, seemingly annoyed by this and Haibara bounds ahead of you both.
You can't be sure, but after today you have every confidence that this years exchange event will end well. And by next spring, you won't need to monitor the first years. With all that time on your hands, you can't imagine what you'll get up to.
--
Utahime was a fourth year when you were finally given liberty to come to Jujutsu Tech, despite her seniority, she has always felt like something of a little sister to you. You'd never tell her that though.
This is her first year as a full time sorcerer and her presence marks the onset of the exchange event. Her voice carries across the grounds as you make your way to stand by your classmates at the school entrance. A smile comes to your face as you watch her throwing visceral insults at Gojo as this is the only way she can attack him.
It's not her fault. He is cruel to her.
When she spots you, her gasp only makes your smile grow. She shrieks out your name, "AH! How I missed you! I feel SO bad you have to be here with THEM." She throws an anguished look at your classmates and Shoko only grins, knowing Utahime would never associate her with the two boys.
"Now that's just mean, Utahime, you-" Gojo is cut off as Iori spins around, pointing a finger at the younger boy and shouting that he ought to be more like you.
"She's so polite!" Utahime gives you a big hug. Her arms wrap snuggly around your neck and you flinch at the contact, playing it off as a movement to pat her shoulder.
"Why would I want to be more like anyone?" Gojo swings himself off of the stoop that leads to the schools entrance, landing with his arms lifted, "I'm already perfect!" He pushes his glasses back into his hair, his gaze seems to tease Utahime, she looks as though she wants to stomp her foot, but contains the urge.
"You are insufferable." She spins to look at you once more, "I'm rooting for you," She turns one more time to glance at Gojo, "and only you," she clarifies, "in the event. I know you'll do well. Be kind to the Kyoto first years." She gives you a pleading look.
"I'll be gentle with them." You smile at her and she grips your hand once more before dashing off, likely to help coach the students from her alma mater.
In the time you've been in Tokyo, one could understand your forgetting that Gojo Satoru has eyes behind those pitch glasses he wears. Rarely removing them, you hardly see the famed six-eyes, but when he looks down at you just then, his look pierces you in a startling way.
"Don't go easy on anyone, that's so lameeee." He extends the words and droops his head too look at you, "Ugh what's even the point of this whole thing when everyone is so weak."
"Gojo, they'll never get stronger if you beat them down too much." You speak from experience, having witnessed this "invisible lid" phenomena before, but he couldn't possibly know that.
"They'll never get strong at all, lets be honest." He laughs to himself and somewhere behind you both you hear Suguru pestering him about being entitled.
But deep down, you know he's right. Any sorcerer can improve but there are few set apart. Born with intention, with purpose, and you have long since given up trying to evade the purpose of your existence.
As a child, days came and went the same as they do now, the one consistent aspect that remained true in those days was the dull ache, that- evidently eternal- buzzing on either side of your spine.
It was difficult to enjoy the exchange event when your mind was elsewhere. You simply could not tare your subconscious away from the dread that swam within you at the advent of summer break. It was clear at the grins of your classmates that you were the only one with wishes of staying at school for the summer holiday.
None of your classmates were familiar with the Residential Boarding for Children with Unattended Cursed Energy. They either came from sorcerer clans, or they had parents that couldn’t mind or know of their abilities. Gakuganji, the principal of the Kyoto school seemed well informed about the "goings-on" at the estate you were raised however.
You had been taken by the boarding school with little memory of your life prior. Cursed Energy rarely presented itself in children younger than five years old, however, your technique developed early, and was unexplainable to parents without knowledge of the Jujutsu world.
Allowed to be trained from a young age by competent sorcerers, it was easy to see how the boarding school might have been portrayed as a charity, or even a blessing to orphaned young. Gakuganji certainly made it out to be. Even so, what went untold were the secrets just below the surface of the dojos and dorm rooms seen by the public.
Nearly all forms of gambling or organized fights (outside of mixed martial arts competitions) were highly illegal in Japan. Having said that, you learned quickly that those drawn to violence and risk were often willing to go to the most extreme lengths to take part in the underground world hidden from the eyes of law abiding citizens.
And you, as well as many other children with unbridled cursed energy were forced to take place in the bloodthirsty entertainment so enjoyed by those that put little value in human life.
--
In your future years, you might be surprised to know, the scars etched into your back would hold little to no significance in your daily life, at this moment, however, as a child with no claim on your autonomy, the bar that was so neatly tailored to your neck dug its wired talons into your scapula, void of electricity, yet still unforgettably present.
Before you was a feast to your young eyes, fresh bread, marinated beef on rice, pork dumplings, roasted vegetables, and baked potatoes. This was the best meal you had received in your time as a ring fighter. It was fair to say that the motivation of a good meal was encouraging enough for you to take aim at whomever stood askance in the opposing corner of the ring.
Heads across the room shot to the door as soon as the entrance to the hall was slammed.
"Shame you couldn't get your act together." Came a deep voice in the hall, firm boots echoed up the stony floors.
As the adults approached the guarded off room you sat in, the noise of a struggle worked its way closer as well. A frustrated grunt came from one of the men who looked to be tugging a young boy by the arm into the space.
"Alright. That does it." A dull buzz was heard and most everyone in the room visibly turning away from the scene. Eyebrows pulled down, gazes averted, knowing exactly what the boy in the mans grasp was feeling.
"I swear they do it to themselves." The man who once held the boy removed his finger from the device on his hip. The boy collapsed in a heap on the floor. Barely-there breaths escaping him.
"If ya had behaved you could've eaten with the rest of the kids. See where making a fuss gets you?" The toe of the mans shoe was gently placed under the boys jaw, one might think the man about to kick the child but the next moment, his figure had turned and he was walking off. The opened door left behind as a mockery to the onlooking boys and girls.
You knew what the man had been saying, the boy could be eating right now with the rest of the kids, but each student was only allowed one meal per time block, and none of the children sat on the tables were willing to give up the little bit of stew allotted to them that night.
The boy on the floor looked far too weak still to get up and scan his bar for dinner. You had already felt slightly sickened by the abundance before you, but now, with the child laying a few feet from your spot by the wall, you had decided.
--
That was how you had met Kaito.
He had been far older than you when he was accepted by the program. In the later years, the mentors would come to learn he had little cursed energy. Not very strong. Not much good for entertainment.
Those who could not fight. Did not eat. Or at least, did not eat well.
You looked out for Kaito back then, sharing your meals with the boy. And he had looked out for you in other ways. Being one of the most known students among the crowd awarded you many good meals, and more experience training your technique, but did not grant you much time of study. Kaito excelled where you fell short, and frequently insisted on tutoring you, eventually, you both would find joy in the stories he would read to you while you massaged your limbs after fights.
Kaito was the only one you looked forward to seeing as you exited the station and made the trek back to your off-season boarding. He was eighteen now, and had not been used for entertainment training purposes since he was taken on by the grounds crew.
When you had first left for Kyoto, he had an established job as a groundskeeper. Now, his tenure at the estate might very well be coming to an end and you were unsure how you planned to move forward without him there.
It was already challenging enough, leaving Shoko, Geto, and Gojo with a smile, but at least you knew you would see them again. Was it selfish to wish Kaito could remember you, even as he inevitably goes on to pursue a normal life?
And then even worse, would it be wrong of you, to feel the weight of envy on your shoulders?
These questions swirl in your mind as you stand before the estate, it was clear that in the time you had been away, funding for the school had grown to new heights. Crossing the threshold, a hand on your duffel, you make your way to the communal dorms, picking an open bed, and sprawling across its length.
Unfortunately, this place smelled of home. Five weeks seemed too cruel a sentence for the turning of the season.
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#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#gojo comfort#satoru angst#gojo angst#suguru x reader#geto x reader#jujutsu kaisen comfort#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo fluff#satoru fluff#satoru imagine#gojo series#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#satoru x oc#gojo x oc#satoru x reader fluff#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader angst#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jjk series#jujutsu kaisen series
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i got the best friends * fem!driver
they have a birthday tradition that stemmed from her efforts to make sure that they were homesick spending their birthdays so far from home
pairings: logan sargeant x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver
notes: hi i have another update are you ready are you ready bc i am not
(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)
-> april 6 2023
the bed dips, oscar groaning as he nuzzles his face into his pillow. “no.”
“yes!” a shriek fills his once silent room as the other side of the bed dips once more. “happy birthday, oscar jack piastri!”
he groans, “not the full name!”
“oh, good morning, you guys,” he hears lily say, feeling her starting to pull the blankets off her body. “oh, pancakes! if oscar doesn’t want them, can i have them?”
“i made you your own pancakes!”
“how is that supposed to make me feel special on my birthday?” oscar finally sits up, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the sight of his best friends kneeling between his and lily’s body. “why does she get pancakes too?”
the girl, facing him slightly blinks at him blankly. “because i made the pancakes.”
oscar tilts his head, moving his focus to logan who’s also holding a plate of pancakes. logan shakes his head, “i made them — she forced me to make another batch for lily.”
“okay, enough yapping,” the girl waves them off.
on her plate is a stack of 3 pancakes with a lit orange candle stuck on the top. it’s a yearly tradition that started when he turned 14, oscar waking up to pancakes on the morning of his birthday spent in her household.
she had made an attempt at cooking pancakes only once in her life: the morning of oscar’s 14th birthday in 2015, claiming that she didn’t want him to feel homesick spending the day with a family he’s not even related to. it wasn’t a good attempt because logan took over the minute she got eggshells in the batter they were making together.
they ate pancakes that morning before they left to spend the day outside to celebrate oscar’s birthday.
and it’s been a tradition ever since for anybody’s birthday.
“happy birthday, osc!” she grins, holding the plate towards him. “make a wish.”
he takes a deep breath, catching lily’s stare as she sits next to the girl on the bed, then he blows away on the flame. “what are we doing today?”
logan shrugs, taking a spot next to lily on the bed with his plate of pancakes to distribute to everyone else. “she suggested karting at this track nearby.”
“or,” she points out, reaching out to logan’s plate to get herself a pancake, “i reckon we can stay home and watch movies and play mario kart.” she turns to oscar with her lips pressed together. “unless you made plans with lily.”
lily perks up and shakes her head. “god, no! we didn’t make plans!”
“wow,” logan mutters, turning to look at oscar. “can you believe her?”
“no, it’s not like that, of course!” lily shrieks, cheeks flushing as she waves her hands in the air to dismiss logan’s accusations. “i just know that you guys like spending the day together on your birthdays. besides, we celebrated yesterday.”
oscar hums, nodding his head as he starts to devour his own set of pancakes. “yeah, we’ve been doing that for years so that you don’t interrupt us doing couple stuff.”
“maybe oscar’s the one who hates us, dude,” logan mutters, looking down momentarily to sell his emotions. “i wouldn’t be shocked if that were the truth.”
the girl plops herself at the foot of the bed, sighing loudly. “what do you suppose we should do today, birthday kid?”
-> december 1 2023
she feels her body being shaken, slowly pulling her out of her sleep. she lifts her head from her pillow slightly and takes a peek with one eye open. “logan? what time is it?”
“midnight,” logan whispers, his face slightly illuminated by the flame from the small candle in his hands. “oscar and lily are dead asleep right now.”
“i would hope so,” she whispers, moving slightly to sit up properly. “it’s midnight — you made pancakes at midnight?”
he shakes his head, moving slightly and holding something out to her. “i got you a cupcake. oscar and lily said they’d make the pancakes as per usual tomorrow morning.”
she tilts her head. “why–”
“could you make a wish and blow the candle out first before you have to eat a cupcake with candle wax as a topping?” logan rambles, watching the candle intensely.
for some reason, they don’t own a lighter in their apartment, so he had to venture back to the kitchen stove for a fire source to get the candle lit and walk back to her bedroom. waking her up was the hardest part — she jumps up when woken up abruptly and seeing that he’s holding a cupcake with a flame on it, that wasn’t the best outcome.
she nods hurriedly, leaning forward to blow the candle out in a swift motion. the flame is extinguished and leaves them in the dark and silence of her bedroom. she reaches over to her bedside table, turning on her lamp to finally catch a look at logan’s flushed cheeks and droopy eyes from his tiredness.
“so what’s the cupcake for again?” she whispers, moving up and patting the empty spot on the other side of her bed. she takes the cupcake into her hands when logan crawls over to the empty spot. “thank you though.”
logan shrugs, tucking himself under her blankets with her. “felt like you needed an extra cupcake for your 21st birthday.” he puts his hands on his lap and turns to her with a grin. “happy birthday — you’re officially an adult everywhere now.”
she grins, “thank you.”
-> december 31 2023
“happy new year’s eve!” she throws her hands in the air, hair up in a ponytail as she approaches logan.
logan perks up, walking away from his once fruitful conversation with his brother. he throws his arms around her smaller frame, tightening his arms around her. “you made it!”
“of course,” she snorts, pulling away and taking a step back. “and, duh, it’s my best friend’s birthday!”
typically, she spends new year’s eve back in europe with her family. but she’s got team commitments in new york right as the year starts and it was easier — and cheaper — to travel from miami than it was to come straight from home.
“pancakes?”
“i made them!” she grins as logan slings an arm around her shoulders, walking towards the building. “i set them in the room your mother brought me to, though. you don’t mind if i pull you away from the party for a while, right?”
“i’m sure dalton doesn’t mind.”
“oh, my gosh! i forgot to say hi to dalton!”
she tries to spin out of his arms, but the younger brother of the two only reels her back into their walk towards the house. “you can say hi later. it’s my birthday, remember? birthday pancakes first.”
“right.”
they spend the walk up to the spare guest bedroom talking and giggling over the happenings of her flight to miami. surprisingly, it had gone well; well enough for her to be convinced that flying alone isn’t too bad of an ordeal.
she opens the door to the bedroom logan’s mother had prepared for her, neatly prepped and carefully catered to the younger girl. on the table in one corner of the bedroom is the pancakes that she promised with a candle lying stray on the table with a lighter next to it.
“wait, did you say you made this?” logan hums, lifting an eyebrow. “is it safe to eat?”
“so i didn’t make it,” she sighs, rolling her eyes. “i didn’t have the time and you’ve said multiple times that pancakes aren’t as good when they’re cold. i bought them before i drove down here to your parents’ house.”
logan puts a hand over his chest. “aw, how sweet! you went out of your way for me?”
she lights up the candle and pokes it into the top pancake. “don’t act surprised. we’ve done this for one another forever.” she turns around and grins as logan approaches her slowly, lifting the plate. “happy birthday, logan.”
taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgificrecs @localwhoore @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @louvrepool @inejismywife @love4lando
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TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.
chapter five:
<last chapter> <next chapter>
➴ chapter warnings: none!
➴ word count: 3.9k
💌 from me to you: honestly, today was a lot! i broke my phone yesterday and had to buy a new one today (i’m now poor :,) and i deadass forgot my email and i lost all of my works AHAH (quinn’s voice: it’s funny but it’s not funny). thankfully, i had already saved all of TYPA chapters here on tumblr so they’re safe and well. anyways, enjoy! 🤎
౨ৎ
2024, APRIL.
lavieenrose
Vancouver, Canada
liked by madisoncarter, adrianalima, zayn and 528,012 other people
lavieenrose We are thrilled to announce our newest Flower, Madison Carter! Welcome to our garden, gorgeous! 🌹
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madisoncarter i love u guys thank u so much
user1 I love Madison employed era 🤭 like yass girl pay your bills
bellahadid proud of you, sis xx
madisoncarter bellahadid <3
user2 she looks kinda fat in this 🤢
maddiecarter_updates user2 girl that’s ur momma
imgmodels That’s our girl!!!
౨ৎ
“SO QUINN Hughes is your childhood best friend?” Victoria sounded amused.
You chuckle. “Something like that, yeah.”
“What a small world we live in!” She raised her arm, making prayer hands. “God, if you’re out there, make my dream of fucking Luke Hughes come true.”
“Oh my God, you’re the worst.” You joke, watching as she winks at you, going back to her rambling about how funny it was that you and the Hughes were familiar with each other.
It was the week before your first official fashion show in Vancouver, and things were extremely busy. Today you and the other models had to visit the hall where the show would happen so you could practice your walk and get familiar with the runway’s layout.
Victoria wasn’t a model per se, even if she was one of the most gorgeous women you have ever seen, but she still made sure to be there with you so you wouldn't be totally alone.
The other models were nice to you but you were still extremely shy, and it usually took you a while for you to get used to new people. Thankfully, Victoria could help you just fine.
“But like,” she raises her voice again, staring at you funny. “Should I tell Gil to send the Canucks some invitations?”
You raised your brow at her, ready to say no. After that night at your house, a week ago, you and Quinn were… different. Being one hundred percent honest, you were different with Quinn. He was still the same as always, texting every day and asking about how you and Bella were doing, since he was away— again— and couldn’t check on you in person.
And you thought it was sweet.
Awfully sweet.
Dangerously sweet.
After the thoughts you had while he sat on your couch that night, thick thighs spread cozily across your couch, dress shirt opened and hair falling perfectly on his face, you decided that being away from him was probably the best thing you could do for your relationship.
“I don’t think they’ll be interested in coming,” you lie, shrugging. “It’s not like they’re interested in lingeries.”
“Hum—”
“At least not in the way you want them to be!” You quickly added, not letting Victoria’s mind wander to horny places.
“I don’t know about that, Mads,” she clicks her tongue, watching as the crew move around you both, lunch break already about to end. “We could invite only the single ones. What do you think?”
You laugh and joke: “I think that’s a great idea.”
Obviously, it wasn’t. Nothing about Quinn seeing you in lingerie was a good idea, but who were you to crash Victoria’s dream? Besides, the Canucks would never actually go to a fashion show unless they were forced to, so you had nothing to worry about.
“Okay, Madison, I need you to walk up there again.” Rory, the casting director called you, and you promptly got out of your seat to do what he needed you to.
And just like that your thirty minute lunch break was over.
౨ৎ
“THIS IS the day you all have been waiting for, girls,” James yells, loud enough to be heard by all the fifty girls standing backstage. “I need you all to shine today!”
You could feel your hands sweaty and your heart beating faster than ever. Today was the fashion show you've been preparing for everyday ever since you moved to Canada and watching it all unfold in front of you was anything but not stressful.
This was the first fashion show you did in months and you knew people were expecting something big.
“Madison,” James calls you, and you immediately go to his side, excluded from the other girls. He looks at you with his fierce, cat eyes and you almost gulp. “Today’s your night. The majority of the people are here to see you, they’re here to see Madison Carter. Do you understand that?”
You nod, blinking fast. “I do.”
“Great,” he crosses his arms over his chest. “I didn’t say this in front of the other girls because I don’t want them to feel bad, but having you here is pure gold, and the press is ready to put any mistake in a headline. So, can you be my prettiest flower tonight, baby?”
You smile, feeling confident all of a sudden. You had to remind yourself that you were pretty, even if sometimes your brain liked to tell you otherwise. People were here to see you, they paid money to watch you walk down that stage, and you’d give them a show.
You’d prove to everyone that you were just that girl. Even your own family.
“I can, J.” You confirm, shaking your arms slightly.
“Then great. You know when you have to enter the stage, don’t you?” You nod again, of course you did. You all rehearsed this so many times that it would be hard for you not to know. James turns around and starts speaking loud again, trying to talk to all fifty girls at once. “RAYE is here tonight and even though your job is to walk, I want you all to interact with her and her songs. I want you all on time and I want you all on your best behavior.”
Celestial Allure was the name of tonight’s collection, all of you wearing different shades of white, pastel pink, blue and purple, not to mention the tiny golden details in your hair and heels. Your makeup consisted in white eyeshadow, heavy eyeliner and big, angelic lashes. You had little to no blush in your cheeks, the focus on representing a pale, unreal face. Your lips had a natural pinkish color and you had highlighter all over your collarbone and nose.
Your opening outfit couldn’t even be called an outfit; it was simply a white, twinkle strap lace corset with matching panties, heels that adored your legs and reminded you of something Barbie would wear, your hair was perfectly styled with waves falling down like a waterfall.
You took a deep breath, the first notes of Escapism echoing through the entire place, and you knew it was the time for your entrance.
After saying a quick prayer, you enter the stage, immediately putting on your work mindset, not letting any of the hundred eyes make you feel nervous. One step and then another, your body moved alongside the music’s beat, RAYE’s warm smile and powerful presence making you feel less nervous. You made sure that your body was moving like James and Rory had instructed, lightly and featherly.
The camera flashes didn’t hurt your eyes anymore, thankfully, because there were so many of them that even if the building had dim lighting, the stage looked as bright as the sun.
“A little context if you care to listen, I find myself in a shit position,” you mouthed the words, walking down the stage like you owned, because, in fact— you did. “The man that I love sat me down last night, and he told me that it's over, dumb decision.”
You waved to some of the cameras, smiling from ear to ear, genuinely happy.
Even if it was a hard world, the happiness you got from modeling and wearing beautiful, delicate pieces like the one you were wearing right now was unbeatable.
Outfit after outfit, walk after walk, you made it to the end of the show, letting your eyes get shiny with tears when James grabbed your hand and walked with you to the end of the stage, raising your arm and bowing with you. You smiled, watching as people clapped for you and shouted your name.
Backstage, you ran around hugging the other models, all of you so emotional and happy. Your favorite part about working with La Vie en Rose was that they prioritized girls who supported other girls, and not girls who tried to get on top by dragging other girls, something that happened daily in the fashion world.
Victoria also hugged you, taking pictures and handing you your outfit change so you could talk to the press.
“Madison, Madison,” your name was on every reporter’s mouth, flashes and cameras being shoved in your face. You smiled through the uncomfortable feeling of all of your actions and breathing being recorded and pointed to one of the interviewers there, letting her speak.
“You were absolutely divine today. How are you feeling?”
“Honestly, I have no idea,” you smile, shaking your head. “This is the first show I’ve done in a while and I’m still getting back from the high.”
“The crowd’s reaction was amazing. Did you expect such a strong response?”
“No,” you laugh, sincerely. “I am used to my supporters in Los Angeles but knowing this many people would show up here in Vancouver? It’s insane. But I’m grateful anyway.”
“Speaking of moving to Vancouver, what can we expect from your Canadian side?”
“Everything. I’m always open to new opportunities and signing a contract with a brand as special to me as La Vie en Rose can mean a lot of good things.” You move to the next reporter, who was almost shoving the microphone down your throat.
“What can you say about the Canucks team being here? Do you know any of them personally?”
That caught you so off guard you had to hold back a gasp.
“What do you mean?” You ask carefully, trying your best to keep your smile from falling. “The… Canucks are here?”
“You didn’t know?” The reporter scoffs. “We have players like Quinn Hughes, Brock Boeser, Conor Garland and Elias Pettersson in the audience.”
“Oh,” you say, moving your head to the side, trying to see something past that sea of cameras. “Hum. I didn’t know they were here. I think it’s, hum, great and… yeah.”
“Time’s up, fellas!” Victoria shouts, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you to the side. “The other models are right there, ready for your questions. Thank you all, bye.”
“Thank you guys, have a good night,” you say before heading backstage. You turn your head to Victoria’s direction, eyes doubled in size. “Did you know the Canucks are here?”
“‘Course I did. I sent the invite.” She answers like it was nothing.
“You what?”
“Well, basically it wasn’t me, it was Gil, but I was the one who told him to invite them— and why are you so surprised anyway? We talked about this and you said it was a great idea!”
“I was joking, obviously,” you shout-whisper, walking around the room with Victoria beside you. “You’re crazy.”
“Well, now they’re here and we have to greet them.” She smiles, walking around people with a gorgeous smile plastered on her face. “Hi, good night.”
You had to set your apprehension aside and greet the other people there, so many designers, fashion students and artists congratulated you and asked for pictures. You were happy people were as pleased as you about you moving to Canada and even happier to see that you had so many supporters.
“Oh my God, there’s Quinn Hughes,” Victoria whispers beside you, making you snap your head in his direction.
And there he was. Wearing a gorgeous, dark blue suit, hair slicked back and hands in his pockets, standing there like Prince Charming himself. He was surrounded by three other men, who you could only imagine were his teammates, chatting quietly with one of them.
“Let’s go say hi.” Victoria grabs your hand and makes her way to their little chatting circle, Quinn noticing you before anyone else.
His eyes held a different kind of feeling that night, with him eyeing you up and down. His eyes discreetly trailed your body, the tiniest smile adorning his lips when his eyes met yours.
“Maddie.” He said your name with that raspy voice of his, making you shiver internally.
You smile shyly, watching as he leans down and kisses your forehead.
“Hi, Quinn,” you greet him back, face warm with all the attention. “Hum. Hi, guys,” you greet the other men, as six pairs of eyes stare back at you. “I’m Madison.”
They all give you a cheek kiss and a hug, broad bodies embracing yours like a giant blanket. They introduced themselves, and you were right; they were Quinn’s teammates.
“This is Victoria,” you introduce your friend, who eagerly hugs the players as well.
“Did you guys enjoy the show?” She asks and you watch as they all laugh and nod.
The one you remember being called Conor speaks first. “Honestly when we got the invitation I thought it was really random. But it was actually fire.”
“Yeah,” one of them, Pettersson, you think, agrees, putting his hands inside his pockets. “The girls are pretty. You’re pretty.”
You ran your fingers through your hair, smiling and thanking them.
“We were just going out for drinks at a bar just down the street, do you want to join?” One of them— you didn’t remember the name— asks, and before you could even think of what to say, Victoria jumps in front of you with her eager yes.
You looked at Quinn, watching as he stared right back at you, pointing to the entrance with his head.
You all walked out of the event hall together, photographers going crazy with the flashes and you knew that besides talking about your performance that night, people were also going to talk about your proximity with the Hughes and the Canucks.
The other players chatted with Victoria in front of you, while you and Quinn walked behind them, close enough that your naked shoulder touched his covered arm.
“Aren’t you cold?” He blurts out of nowhere, and you smile, shaking your head no.
“Not really. I’m still coming down from the high from earlier.”
“You were amazing, Mads,” he praises you, licking his lips. “Never seen you like that before. Just… stunning.”
“Thanks,” you mumble, not sure why Quinn’s compliment made you feel better than if it were anyone else’s. “Did you like it?” Even though Victoria had already asked them this question, you asked it again, because you wanted to know what Quinn had thought of it.
“Yes,” he winks, smirking at you. “Yes, I did.”
“Great.”
You continued to make small talk on your way to the bar, underestimating how crowded it would actually be. Thankfully, there were a lot of Canucks fans there, and a group of random people let you stay at their table in exchange for a picture with their captain, Quinn, which he promptly took.
“Do you want to drink anything?” The handsome brown-haired fella, Garland, you think, asked you, a few seconds after you sat down.
“Let her breathe first, idiot,” you heard Quinn mumble beside you, making you laugh.
“Maybe a Sex on the Beach?” You said simply, not really interested in Conor’s flirting. He’s hot, but he isn’t Quinn.
Maybe it’s time for you to stop thinking that you can actually have anything with Quinn, you thought, feeling yourself deflate just a little.
“Freaky,” Connor answered, before moving to the bar with the other guys.
“You won’t drink anything?” Victoria asked Quinn, since he was the man who stayed at the table.
He shrugs. “I’m driving.”
“Oh, we love a responsible king,” she nods to herself, giving you an approving smile. What she was approving was still a mystery.
Quinn eyes you, silently questioning you where you’d found that girl, and you only smiled, raising your shoulders.
The rest of the team took a while to come back, something about the bar being too crowded, but Conor handed your cocktail and winked at you.
“So, Madison,” he starts, sitting in front of you. “Are you single?”
Boeser whistled while Pettersson laughed out loud, hitting Conor’s shoulders.
“You’re very straightforward, aren’t you?” You retort, roiling your eyes but smiling nonetheless. “But, yes, I am. I’m not interested in anything serious at the moment, though.”
“One step forward for Conie here but at what cost?” Boeser shouts, clicking his beer on the table. You can hear Victoria laughing with Pettersson beside you, and you seriously want to pinch her cheeks.
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Quinn speaks beside you, and suddenly all eyes are on him, yours included. He seems to realize what he had just said because his cheeks turn a very light shade of pink. “I mean, with a face like yours, I’d find it pretty hard to believe that any woman would be interested in you.”
“Fuck you, Cap,” Conor gives him the finger, sipping on his beer before winking at you. “Maddie here knows what’s good.”
“Don’t call her that,” Quinn hisses and both you and Victoria share a stare with each other.
Thankfully, Vic’s really good at changing topics and after five seconds she got all of the Canucks players talking with her at the same time. Garland seemed to have forgotten about you momentarily, and you were thankful for that.
You turned your head to the side, staring at Quinn who looked like he was having the worst time of his life. You frowned.
“What got you so upset?” You whisper, watching as he stops staring at his water bottle to stare at you.
“I’m not upset.”
“This little thing here…” you place your finger between his eyebrows, watching the furrow disappear underneath your finger. “…tells me a different story. Was it Conor?”
“Why would I be upset with him?” He taps his fingers on the table, once, twice.
“I know that you don’t like it when people call me Maddie.” You tell him, smiling softly. You would never confess it to him, but you didn’t like when people called you that too. Quinn had been the first person to call you that, to give you a nickname, and you wanted to keep that one between you both.
“He just can’t keep himself inside his pants,” He admits, and you smile even wider, finding the entire situation entirely funny. “It’s not funny, Madison.”
“It is to me,” you rest your chin on your hand. “Well, I know he won’t get inside my pants any time soon.”
“Yeah?” He smirks, and, finally, you watch his face transform into something that wasn’t a scowl or a frown. “Good.”
You gulp and pray to God that he doesn’t notice the way your thighs slowly close together, your body clearly desperate for something. Something that anyone else could give you, but you wanted it from the only person who was out of your league.
But perhaps God wasn’t listening to you like He usually did, because the way Quinn’s blue eyes turned into a grayish shade before he calmly placed his right hand on your left thigh told you a different truth.
Then he somehow inserted himself back in the conversation, leaving his hands on your thigh for the rest of the night, while you tried to keep up with what they were saying but failed miserably since all you could think was how his hands looked so big on you that maybe, just maybe, some of his other parts would be big too…
You sighed, forgetting for a few seconds that you were in public. Being around Quinn made your head work in the wrong way and trying to get back on the right path was tiring and exhausting.
“Are you not having fun?” You scared yourself with how close Quinn actually was, his lips almost touching your ear.
“‘M just tired,” you mumbled, feeling bad for interrupting Quinn’s conversation, even if the rest of the people at the table were still talking animatedly between themselves. “And I miss Bella.”
You hear his breathy laugh beside you. “I miss Bella too. Come on, let me take you home.”
“You don’t need to,” you say, shaking your head slowly. “I’ll call a cab.”
“You’re funny.” he says before opening his wallet and placing two hundred Canadian dollars on the table. “Madison and I are going home.”
“Uh, well… bye?” You say, uncertain of what you should do. It seemed rude to you to just leave like this, but you also knew Quinn wasn’t backing up now, and you were telling the truth when you told him you miss Bella. “It was nice meeting you all.”
“The pleasure was all ours, baby,” Conor says, winking at you. “Come see our next game. We’ll save you and Vicky a spot.” You tell him that you will, and then you smile politely, kissing Victoria’s cheek.
“Do you want me to take you home?” You ask, and she turns the cutest shade of red, eyes staring at Boeser for just a brief second before turning at you again. Oh. “Alright. Call me if you need anything.”
“Will do,” she winks, kissing you too. “Drive safe.”
You briefly hug the other players, wishing them a good night before you leave the bar with Quinn’s hand on your lower back, gently guiding you to his car. The drive to your house was quiet, with Quinn making tiny remarks here and there, but you were so close to saying fuck to all of your beliefs and kissing him that you realized that staying quiet was probably the best move.
It wasn’t like you thought Quinn wasn’t into you. You weren’t dumb, and you knew what the stares he gave you meant, but you also knew that what you had with him, your friendship, was precious and not something that happened to everyone.
Even if you’d just restarted seeing each other a short while ago, it was like you hadn’t stopped talking at all. He still took care of you like he did to young Madison years ago, and he still let you take care of him like you would’ve done if he’d stayed in your life when you grew up.
So risking it all just because you were horny? Not a chance.
“You’re so quiet,” he points out, making a U turn. “Do you miss Bella this much?”
You smile, resting your head on the window. “I do, yeah. But I’m also just tired. Today was a lot.”
“I was telling the truth when I said you were stunning, Maddie. You owned that stage. No one was looking at anyone else.”
“Oh, stop it, Quinn,” you tried to hide the fact that his compliments made you want to start running around while shouting his name. “It’s just my job.”
He raised his eyebrow at you, but didn't say anything else, what was probably for the better. If he complimented you again, you wouldn’t sure that you would be able to stay in your seat without climbing on his lap and begging him to fuck you.
Quinn parks in front of your apartment building and smiles at you, tired eyes shining like the moon that decorated the sky that night. “Want me to go upstairs with you?”
“No, no, it’s fine, I know you’re tired,” you bit your lip, fidgeting with your fingers. “Thank you for coming. And for the ride too.”
“I enjoyed tonight. We should… we should do this again.”
You smirk, playfully. “And invite Conor too?”
He groans, laughing softly.
“No, definitely no,” he shakes his head. “I know that dork already invited you but… if you want to come watch our next game, just give me a heads up. I’ll get tickets for you and your friend.”
“Only if we get to stay in that seat where we can watch the players beat each other up from up close.” You joke, watching as he laughs, wrapping his hand around his abs.
“Consider it done, M,” he blinks, an adorable smile adorning his face. “I’ll text you the details, alright?”
“Mhm,” you nod, removing your seatbelt and pushing your body forward, until you place a light kiss on his cheek, feeling his stubble softly scratch your lips. “Night, Quinn.”
“Bye, Mads.” he whispers, watching you leave the car and only driving away when he sees you enter your building.
You sigh out loud, trying to understand what the hell happened tonight.
౨ৎ
liked by vic_alonso, _quinnhughes, imgmodels and 828,023 other people
madisoncarter little dump from tonight. thank u all for coming 🌟 lavieenrose
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raye this show was yours. Prettiest woman in the world. Xx
vic_alonso we look soooo good in that pic babe
vic_alonso also lowkey wanna kiss u again
user1 vic_alonso 📸🤨
madisoncarter @vic_alonso ‘m all urs baby
user2 why is my husband liking this when he doesn’t even know how to post a picture without Jack’s help pls I need answers
user3 oh both luke jack and quinn liked this we are cooked
maddiecarter_updates We don’t know if we want to be you or have you 🙂↕️ stunning as always, queen!
taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎
#quinn hughes x oc#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x you#quinn hughes angst#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes smut#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes#nhl x reader#nhl players#hockey#TYPA
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✶ charles leclerc x reader ✶
2019
renaultf1team
Liked by danielricciardo and 96,486 others
renaultf1team It’s the super nice and ultra cool @yourinstagram! We 💛 her!
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July 14, 2019
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc P1 babyyyyyy ! Thank you to the team and to everyone that showed support this weekend.
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scuderiaferrari 🥇❤️
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September 28, 2019
2020
yourinstagram
Liked by charles_leclerc and 176,836 others
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username happy new years!!!
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January 2, 2020
leclercupdates
7,963 likes
leclercupdates clip of charles' from his twitch stream today 🫣
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username i cant believe this is how we get confirmation they're dating 😭
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April 6, 2020
yourinstagram
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April 8, 2020
2021
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc Happy days before the start of the season
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yourinstagram put a shirt on
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February 6, 2021
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September 20, 2021
2022
yourinstagram
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yourinstagram this must be the place 💒
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username THE ENGAGEMENT RUMORS LOOKING REAL TRUE RN
danielricciardo 🤭
username wedding venue???? 🥹
charles_leclerc Je veux passer ma vie avec toi ❤️ (I want to spend my life with you)
⤥ yourinstagram lucky for you you're stuck with me
username THEY ARE SOOOOOOO
username third slide is so precious :(
pierregasly Can i be the **** ***
⤥ username BEST MAN???
arthur_leclerc No
lorenzotl No
username obsessed with the way they never confirmed the engagement rumors but are doing nothing to stop them
username i love them so much im sobbing
username it feels like just yesterday charles was accidentally confirming their relationship on twitch and now they're getting MARRIED
January 18, 2022
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc Best day of my life forever. 👰♀️🤵🖤
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username CRYING SO BADDDDDD
yourinstagram 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE U
⤥ charles_leclerc Love you more Mrs. Leclerc 🥰
username both of her dresses were so gorgeous oh my god
danielricciardo Party of the year
scuderiaferrari Congratulations to our two favorite people ❤️
username they look so unbelievable happy :( they deserve the world
lilymhe most beautiful bride!!!!!! and charles
⤥ yourinstagram sad you didn't stand up to object...
username this all happened because of alpine let's be honest
⤥ alpinef1team We got a thank you card in the mail 😊
username 🥹🥹🥹🥹
username they are soulmates im sure of it
pierregasly 🥂😛❤️🔥
username they got married on the 17th...exactly 3 years after they met 🥺
arthur_leclerc So happy ❤️
July 20, 2022
#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc instagram au#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc imagine
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Black actor who faced abuse over role in Romeo & Juliet calls for industry-wide action
Francesca Amewudah-Rivers, who played Juliet alongside Tom Holland’s Romeo, says racist abuse went on for months
The actor Francesca Amewudah-Rivers, who received a barrage of online racial abuse after being cast in a production of Romeo & Juliet this year, has called for industry-wide action to protect black and brown actors.
The abuse aimed at Amewudah-Rivers began after the Jamie Lloyd Company theatre group announced the cast of its production in April, with Amewudah-Rivers to play Juliet and the Spider-Man star Tom Holland playing Romeo.
Amewudah-Rivers has revealed she also received hate mail, and that she did not feel safe while working on the play, her West End stage debut, at the Duke of York’s theatre.
“There were many days where I didn’t know how I was going to get through it,” she told the Stage. “The flurry of abuse was sustained throughout the whole job. I received death threats, hate mail sent to the theatre. I didn’t feel safe at work.”
‘Too much to bear’: Black actors condemn racial abuse of Romeo & Juliet starRead more
The 26-year-old, who was nominated at this year’s Black British theatre awards, said the minimal set and closeup camerawork of the production made her feel “very exposed” on stage. “Off the back of the abuse, having to stare down the camera lens and have my face be blown up in this theatre was really tough mentally,” she said.
Amewudah-Rivers said the harassment also affected her family and friends, as well as the show’s cast, crew and producers at the Jamie Lloyd Company, who condemned the initial abuse in a statement on social media at the time and said further harassment would be reported.
The incident led to an open letter of solidarity with Amewudah-Rivers being signed by more than 800 predominantly black female and non-binary actors – including Lashana Lynch, Sheila Atim, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Lolly Adefope, Freema Agyeman, Wunmi Mosaku and Tamara Lawrance.
Amewudah-Rivers described her experience as an “incredibly tough” induction into the West End. She said: “I know what it means to move through life in a black body. Racism is something we have to navigate every day, so I was very aware of the potential for something like this to happen.
“I think what I was unprepared for was how long it went on for, and also having to navigate it while doing the job. It was four months of battling against this energy, and it’s something I still have to deal with. I really had to reckon whether it was worth it, this sustained feeling of duress.”
The actor called for “broader conversations industry-wide” about the protection of global-majority actors and said it was “not enough to represent our communities on stage, there also needs to be an infrastructure of support”.
“Safety has to be at the forefront. We can’t do our best work if we don’t feel safe, if we don’t feel held, if we don’t feel understood,” she said. “I think more needs to be done, especially because I know I’m not alone. I know other actors who have had similar experiences, more recently, too.”
According to Amewudah-Rivers, the response to her casting showed how the UK theatre sector was still lagging behind in terms of onstage racial diversity.
“For it to cause such outrage that I was cast in this role means we have a long way to go. Theatre has a legacy of community, it should represent society. Especially in London – there’s a big black British community here and in the UK. It shouldn’t be a surprise. Our histories as black people have been erased. It’s about re-education. I’m not the first black Juliet, and I won’t be the last.”
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Recorded memories
Toge Inumaki x reader
Content: Wee bit of angst(mb chat) takes place after the shibuya incident so spoilers!! does use she/her pronouns mb chat人(_ _*) use of y/n
Summary: A glimpse into a few memory's with a certain curse speech caught on a gifted camera
A/N:not checked and i didnt clam to be a author team but inumaki nation was lowkey dry recently and if u cant find the art U GOTTAAA MAKE IT YOURSELF \(゜э゜)/
December 25th, 2017
“How do I know if it's on?” the voice was quiet as the focus of the video pointed down revealing shredded wrapping paper and an open box.
“Salmon” The camera shook before it pointed up at Y/N
“OH! It's on” She smiled at the boy behind the camera
“Heyyy vlog it's your favorite y/nn” She took the camera from his hands and lifted it showing the mess of Christmas wrapping
“My super BFF Toge Inumaki got me this camera everybody say thank you Toge” She wiggled the camera up close to his face as he scrunched his nose.
March 13th, 2018
“Welcome back vlog” she whispered to the camera lens before moving the camera back swiftly
“I am here with my co-host Inumaki and we are on the train going on a mission,” she said moving around in her seat to lay over into his lap blocking whatever game he was playing pointing the camera up at him at a very unflattering angle as he looked down
“Bonito flakes” he sighed as he looked down at her
“That's what I'm saying” she agreed laughing turning the camera to face herself before it fell cutting the recording short
October 31st, 2018
The camera was getting rustled around before it settled on her desk
“Um… do my makeup with me as my best friend is on a life-threatening mission while I have to stay back at the school” She gave the camera a small weak smile
“It's not like he's alone like our other friends are there but” she paused as she sighed
“He isn't answering his text and I'm worried more because it's just different cause it Inumaki-not saying I don't care about our friends I love them to bits just” Her brows knotted as she looked down through the bag on her lap rambling
“It's just different between me and Toge it's more comfortable- whatever this is stupid” She snatched the camera rolling her eyes before it turned off
December 31st, 2017
“It's almost midnight vlog” she giggled on the bed moving the camera to sit on pillows
“Are we gonna kiss tonight?” she joked nudging Toge with a smile as a blush crept up to decorate the tips of his ears
“Salmon roe” Toge shoved her back rolling his eyes before typing on his phone to show her
“Why would I kiss you you smell horrible” she fakes reading out with a gasp from his phone as he sat up shaking his head making an X with his arms
She looked up at the camera “he hates me guys my own best friend” she sighed looking down dramatically
“Tuna mayo!” he groaned pouting at her pushing her shoulder again causing her to laugh and grab the camera
“stay tuned to find out if we actually kiss” she stuck her tounge out as she started to move the camera closer to Toge’s fake before he opened his mouth the camera cut
April 10th, 2018
“And here we have a wild Toge Inumaki resting in the wild” The camera zoomed in on his sleeping face
“Magnificent creature one of a kind,” she said mocking a fake Australian accent
“Now we must be careful not to disturb the beast” She leaned the camera closer to his face before his eye peeked open and she gasped
“You're not even sleeping you're a faker!” she laughed as he smiled as it look like he charged at the camera before the recording abruptly ended
August 21st, 2018
The screen is covered with a sliver of the room being shown as a frustrated groan is heard at a distance
“Like did you ever consider how I would feel? I get you and Yuuta are close and stuff but it doesn't mean ditch me to go and make the same plans with Yuuta” Y/n voice strained as she reprimanded him
“Fish flakes!” Toge’s voice sounded desperate
“Put the phone down can you do that for once? Just listen to me! For someone who can't speak right you sure are a bad listener,” y/n yelled harshly “Wait no comeback”
Toge pauses for a second before even considering what y/n just said to him her. Once he does he just stares at her with only a look that can be described as heartbreak before turning and walking out with a harsh slam of the door followed by y/n groans before everything where the camera sat was pushed causing the recording to stop.
Present
She paused and grimaced after watching the last video
“I should probably delete that right?” she turned to him as there was still no reply from his part
“I didn't mean it you know” her words getting caught in her throat as her voice trembled “You don't have to fake no more Toge get up” She went to go grab his hand but she was only met with the empty bed space that was once occupied by his hand
“Please wake up we can't just end as best friends I don't want to end just as best friends” She began to sob as she laid on top of his lap as his body rested in the infirmary bed her tears made the room go blurry as they clouded her vision as she poured her heart out in his lap. She moved her arms to wrap around her head blocking out the world. Blocking out the small smile that danced across Toge’s lips
He never was a good fake sleeper
A/N: if this is ass its not fault guys its 3am and a hoe is tired fr
#toge inumaki x reader#inumaki toge x reader#toge x reader#inumaki x reader#inumaki x y/n#toge x y/n#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#toge fluff
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Beyond Boundaries - Oscar Piastri (PART ELEVEN)
Masterlist ↳pairing: oscar piastri x female!norris!reader ↳word count: 3,5K ↳chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, ↳chapter warnings: friends to lovers, brothers teammate trope, angst, talking about feelings
↳series summary: Since Oscar joined McLaren as your brother’s teammate, you two have quickly become best friends. Recently promoted to be Oscar’s physiotherapist, you both relish the opportunity to spend more time together. However, as the new role brings you closer, you both realize you might be feeling more a little more for each other than just friendship
*Saturday, April 6th*
It was early in the morning when Oscar found himself seated in the meeting room. He wasn't alone, you, Zak & Sophie from the media team where there too. It was time for Oscar to get introduced to the one girl he absolutely did not want to meet. The one he was supposed to fake a relationship with.
The reason as to why you were there too, was Zak. He said something about it being important that you would meet the girl too, considering Oscar and you spend a lot of time together being his trainer. Zak pointed out that it would be practical for you to know some of the ins and outs as well.
Oscar looked around the room, his eyes landing on you, pressing his lip together. Almost as if he was silently apologizing to you, trying to not be obvious about the hidden knowledge between the two of you.
It was then when the door opened, a man and a woman walking in. She looked kind, she actually did. She was tall, skinny, had a slightly tanned skin & long brown locks. You could easily tell they tried to find someone with similar features to you, probably to make it more believable that it was her in those leaked pictures. She was pretty, very pretty. In your opinion, a lot more beautiful than you were. It stung a little, if you were being honest with yourself.
Oscar felt bad for you, for himself, but also for the other girl. Wondering if something similar brought her into this as well.
Zak's eyes lit up, a professional smile spreading across his lips. He stood up from his seat, gesturing to the man and woman to take a seat.
"Oscar, Sophie, Y/n, this is Ava, the lovely lady we told you about" he started, looking briefly at the lady. His eyes then shifted to the man next to her "And this is her manager, Liam" he continued.
Ava smiled kindly at all of you, first leaning over the table to hold her hand out to Oscar. He shook her hand and send her a polite smile "Nice to meet you, I'm Oscar, but you probably already knew that" he said, a small chuckle leaving his lips.
The brunette returned a smile "Likewise" she spoke, before moving her attention over to Sophie, introducing herself to her as well, before shifting her attention to you.
She held out her hand, her nails perfectly manicured. When you took her hand and shook it. She send you a smile.
"Nice to meet you!" you weakly spoke, your tone kind, but laced with an uncertainty "I'm Y/n, I'm Oscar's trainer and physio"
"That's lovely" she spoke with an honest smile.
"So, Liam and I have already talked a bit about what could be a plan" Sophie started, clearly not the one to have came up with this fake dating plan. She sounded as if she only said these things, because she had to.
Liam nodded, a smile on his face "We were thinking it might be a good start for Ava to be in the McLaren motorhome tomorrow during the grand prix. Maybe wearing something that's Oscar's, like a bracelet" he started, his attention shifting to Ava "Then maybe after the race, we could arrange for Oscar to walk by you briefly, maybe brushing your hands or him quickly hugging before he walks on?"
Oscar looked at Sophie and Liam, his breath catching in his throat. Not in a good way, but in a way that made him realize how real this all was getting "Y-Yeah.. sure"
Ava nodded "Sure, I think that could work"
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺
Oscar sat on the edge of the small couch in his driver's room, hands clasped loosely in his lap as he glanced at Ava. She was perched on the other end, her posture relaxed but attentive. Her kind smile didn't quite reach her eyes, though, and Oscar could tell she was just as unsure about this arrangement as he was.
"So," he started, breaking the silence that had settled between them. "This is... definitely a strange situation to be in."
Ava let out a soft laugh, nodding. "You can definitely say that, yes. It's not every day you agree to fake date someone you barely know."
Oscar's lips twitched into a small, half-hearted smile. "True. I mean, I get why it's necessary, but it's still... weird." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "Did you get into this in the same way?"
She tilted her head, considering his question. "Something like that. It's complicated, I guess."
Oscar nodded, his mind flashing to the conversation with his manager, the pressure of the rumors swirling around him and you. But he didn't want to get into all that. Not with Ava, not yet.
"Yeah, I get that," he said, leaning back a little. "I'm sure we both have our reasons for agreeing to this."
Ava's smile softened. "I'm not really one for drama, to be honest. But sometimes you just have to play along, right?"
Oscar chuckled lightly. "Yeah, exactly. I'm not a fan of all this PR stuff, either. But, I guess it's part of the job sometimes."
They shared a brief, understanding look, the tension between them easing slightly. Ava shifted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "So, how do you want to play this?"
Oscar rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. "Well, we don't have to overdo it. Just enough to make it believable. We can show up together to events, act friendly—like we're getting to know each other. I don't think anyone expects us to be all over each other."
"Agreed," Ava said, relief in her voice. "I think we should just be ourselves, but maybe add a bit more... I don't know, closeness? Like we're actually interested in each other."
Oscar nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. We don't want it to look obviously fake."
They fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, the awkwardness from earlier gradually fading. Oscar found himself relaxing a bit more around her. She was easy to talk to, and he appreciated her straightforwardness. Though she was not you.
"Have you ever done anything like this before?" Ava asked, her tone light but curious.
He shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. "No, this is a first for me. Feels a bit like acting, doesn't it?"
Ava laughed softly. "Yeah, but without a script. We'll have to improvise."
"I'm not great at improvising," Oscar admitted with a playful grin.
"Well, good thing I'm here then, perks of being an actress" Ava teased gently. "I'll cover for you."
"Thanks," he said, his smile growing. "I appreciate that."
They lapsed into another easy silence, and Oscar found himself feeling grateful that Ava wasn't making this harder than it needed to be. Despite the odd circumstances, she seemed genuinely kind, and that put him at ease.
"Let's just take it one step at a time," Ava said finally. "We'll figure this out."
"Yeah," Oscar agreed. "One step at a time."
As they sat there, sharing a quiet moment in the midst of all the chaos outside, Oscar couldn't help but think that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. As long as he could keep things clear between them—and with the reader—he could get through this. And, with any luck, things would settle down soon enough.
After that they spend some time getting to know each other, just so it wouldn't be awkward when they would have to do interviews. He learned that Ava was 22 years old and born in Australia, but moved to the UK at a young age, something Oscar and her had in common. Ava told Oscar that she had started acting when she was just a kid, so she kinda rolled her way in it when she was young.
Oscar, on his turn, told her about his hobbies outside of F1. He told her about you. Explaining that you have been best friends for a while, leaving out the detail of your feelings for each other. Not wanting to break his promise to you.
"She's the girl you hooked up with according to the media, right?" she asked, honestly interested.
Oscar stayed silent, but did give her a soft nod.
"That explains the awkward look you both had in the meeting" she replied with a laugh "Let me guess, shit-faced drunk?"
Oscar laughed "Pretty much covers it, yes" he stated, scratching the back of his neck.
Ava send him a compassionate smile, folding her hands in her lap "So, let me get this straight" she started, a chuckle leaving her lips "The girl you kissed is not only your trainer, she's also your best friend. And to top it off, she's also your teammates sister"
Oscar shrugged "Yep"
"Yeah, that makes it all a whole lot more complicated" she laughed.
Ava then leaned back on the couch a little, looking back up at Oscar "Before I forget to ask. Liam mentioned that it maybe would be smart to discuss our boundaries. You know, considering the things we have to do. Affectionate wise"
Oscar looked back at the other Aussie, then shifting his gaze to his lap. Time for the awkward stuff, he thought.
"I'm fine with anything to be honest, I'm used to it all considering my job. So if you're up for it, I'm fine with kissing, if that helps convince the public eye"
Oscar felt a tight knot forming in his stomach as Ava brought up the topic of boundaries. He shifted uncomfortably, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt as he avoided her gaze. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be convincing in this whole fake dating scenario—it was just that every time he thought about doing anything more than the basics, guilt hit him like a punch to the gut. Your face flashed in his mind, and he swallowed hard.
“Yeah, um,” he started, voice a little shaky, “I guess we should talk about that.”
Ava nodded, her expression calm and open. “I know this is weird, and I’m not exactly thrilled about the idea of putting on a show either, but if we’re going to do this, we should be on the same page.”
He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m… I’m kind of socially awkward, to be honest. I mean, I’m fine with doing some stuff, like, a hug or holding hands maybe. A kiss on the cheek is okay too, I guess. But anything more than that—” He hesitated, his heart thudding in his chest. “I just… I don’t know.”
Ava tilted her head slightly, her eyes gentle. “That’s fine, Oscar. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. This whole thing is just acting, right? We can take it slow, one step at a time.”
He glanced at her, grateful for her understanding. But even as she spoke, he couldn’t help but feel like he was betraying you. You hadn’t exactly defined what you were, but the thought of pretending to be with someone else, even just for show, made his chest ache.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, looking down at his lap. “It’s just… complicated, you know?”
Ava seemed to pick up on his unease, leaning forward slightly. “Hey, I get it. Really. But you can trust me, okay? I’m not here to make things harder for you. We’ll go at your pace. And if it ever gets too much, just let me know, and we’ll dial it back.”
Her words were sincere, and he found himself relaxing a little, but the nagging feeling of guilt still lingered. He knew she was right—it was just acting, and it didn’t mean anything. But deep down, the idea of kissing Ava, even if it was just for show, felt wrong. Like he was betraying something fragile and precious between the two of you.
“But, if you’re up for it,” Ava continued cautiously, “a real kiss could help sell it. But only if you’re okay with it. We don’t have to, Oscar. Not if you don’t want to.”
Oscar sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew she was just trying to be professional about the whole thing, but it still felt like a rock was sitting on his chest. “I know, it probably is… I just have to think about it, I guess. It’s not that I don’t want to be convincing, it’s just—”
“You’re not comfortable with it,” Ava finished for him gently. “That’s okay. We can stick to hugs, holding hands and kissing each others cheek.”
“Thanks,” he muttered, giving her a weak smile. “I appreciate that.”
"I just suggested it, since in the pictures that got leaked, it all seemed pretty intense. So I thought, that might sell it a little better, but.." Ava smiled back, her eyes soft. “We’ll figure this out, Oscar. Just remember, this is all for show. It doesn’t mean anything.”
He nodded, though he couldn’t quite shake the unease. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he also couldn’t ignore the guilt gnawing at him. He needed to tread carefully, not just for the sake of the act, but for the sake of whatever it was between you and him. And maybe, just maybe, he could get through this without messing everything up.
"I gotta go now, tho. Liam needed me for something around this time" Ava spoke as she looked at her phone, her voice soft and understanding.
"Yeah, of course. Thanks again" Oscar replied, not moving from his spot on the couch.
Ava stood up, but not before bending down over the couch, kissing Oscar gently on his cheek "Well, see you later, boyfriend" she said, before sending him a cheeky wink and leaving the room.
*Later that day*
A few hours had passed, and you found yourself sprawled out on the couch in Lando's hotel room. The evening had been spent in casual conversation with your brother over dinner, discussing random topics that flitted in and out of your minds. But now, the silence in the room was thick, heavy with unspoken words. Lando had noticed your shift in behavior, the way you’d grown quieter, more introspective, and it was starting to concern him.
He watched you carefully, his brow furrowed with worry. The quiet stretched on, and eventually, he broke it, his voice gentle but insistent. “You know you can always talk to me if something’s bothering you, right? That’s what big brothers are for,” he pointed out, his eyes soft as they searched your face for a clue.
You swallowed hard, your gaze darting away from his. The guilt gnawed at you, the weight of the secret you’d been keeping pressing down on your chest. Lando knew some things, sure, but he didn’t know the whole truth about you and Oscar. The part where you and Oscar had crossed that line from friends to something more, something you hadn’t been ready to share with anyone else yet. And keeping that from Lando, of all people, made you feel terrible.
“You’ve just been different,” Lando continued, his voice dropping to a near whisper, tinged with the slightest hint of disappointment. “You’re so silent. Normally, you always tell me everything. Is it the whole fake-dating thing that Oscar has to do?”
Your breath hitched, and you felt a pang of anxiety ripple through you. “No?” The word slipped out, but it sounded more like a question than the firm denial you wished it could be.
Lando rolled his eyes, a hint of exasperation creeping into his tone. “Who are you trying to convince? Me, or yourself?” he pointed out, leaning back slightly as he observed you with that perceptive gaze of his.
You sighed deeply, sinking into the couch in defeat. There was no point in pretending anymore; Lando could always see right through you. “Ugh, fine,” you huffed, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. “To answer your question... Technically, no, but also yes.”
Lando raised an eyebrow at you, silently urging you to elaborate. The way he looked at you, with that mixture of concern and patience, made it even harder to keep things hidden. Another sigh escaped your lips as you met his gaze, knowing you couldn’t hold back anymore.
“I get why he has to do it,” you began, your voice low and tinged with frustration. “The reasoning behind it makes sense. Besides, it means nothing—it’s just a business deal.”
Lando nodded slowly, waiting for you to continue. He could sense there was more, much more, that you needed to get off your chest.
“But…” you trailed off, your voice catching in your throat. You hesitated, the words feeling heavy on your tongue. Admitting it out loud made it all too real, and that terrified you. But Lando was patient, his presence steady and comforting, like an anchor you could cling to in the storm of your emotions.
“But it’s complicated,” you finally said, your voice trembling slightly. “Oscar and I… We’ve been trying things. We decided to give it a shot, you know, without labels. And it felt great, Lando. It really did. But then, not even a week later, this whole fake dating thing comes up, and it just… sucks.”
Lando’s expression softened even more, and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he listened intently. You could see the concern in his eyes, but there was also an unspoken encouragement there, urging you to keep going.
“It sucks because… because I wish things weren’t so complicated,” you continued, your hands wringing together in your lap as you struggled to put your feelings into words. “He’s your teammate, I’m your sister, and we work together. It’s already a mess. And now with this PR stunt… I can’t help but wish I could just allow myself to fully be his. But I can’t. It’s like… I’m holding myself back.”
Lando reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. His touch was warm, comforting, and it made you feel a little less alone in your confusion. “You’re in love with him,” he stated softly, more of a realization than a question.
You nodded, your eyes stinging with the threat of tears. “Yeah, I am. Honestly, I’m so in love with Oscar. But I’m scared, Lando. Scared of what happens if we make it real. What if it all goes wrong?”
Lando’s thumb brushed gently against your shoulder, a small gesture that carried so much understanding. “You know, sometimes things are worth the risk,” he said, his voice low and thoughtful. “If you’re both feeling this way, then it’s real, with or without a label. And sometimes, putting a label on it doesn’t change anything—it just makes it easier to define what you have.”
You looked at him, biting your lip as you considered his words. “Maybe,” you murmured, “but it’s still scary. And then there’s Zak, and the team… I just don’t want to make things harder for Oscar.”
“Have you thought about talking to Zak?” Lando suggested gently. “Maybe it wouldn’t be as big of a deal as you think. And Oscar’s strong, he can handle this. You don’t have to carry it all on your own.”
You nodded slowly, the idea swirling in your mind. Maybe Lando was right. Maybe talking to Zak could ease some of the pressure. But there was still that gnawing insecurity that wouldn’t leave you alone.
“I thought about it, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. Also, the PR thing might be the solution to, you know, fix things,” you said, your voice dropping to a whisper. “I understand why it’s necessary, and I don’t mind it too much, not really. But it still sucks. It sucks to see the person you love having to act like that in front of the cameras with someone who’s not you. Someone who’s way prettier, someone who wouldn’t make everything so complicated.”
Lando’s eyes softened, and he squeezed your shoulder gently. “Are you afraid he’ll fall for her during this PR stunt? That you’ll lose him?”
You let out a shaky breath, the question hitting closer to home than you wanted to admit. “I guess I am,” you whispered. “I definitely trust him. I know he wouldn’t do anything, but… I’d understand if he did. It would be less complicated with someone like her, and besides, we don’t have any labels. He doesn’t owe me anything.”
Lando shook his head slightly, his expression firm. “Oscar is head over heels for you, sis. I’ve seen the way he looks at you—there’s no way he’d want to look at anyone else like that. Not even for a second.”
His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket, soothing the cold fears that had been gnawing at you. You took a deep breath, letting the tension in your shoulders ease just a little. “Thanks, Lando,” you murmured, your voice soft and full of gratitude.
“Anytime,” he replied, pulling you into a gentle hug. You rested your head against his shoulder, finding comfort in the steady rhythm of his breathing. The conversation wasn’t easy, but it had been necessary, and now, with Lando’s support, you felt a little more prepared to face whatever came next.
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#f1 fanfic#smut#formula 1#friends to lovers#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#fluff#formula 1 smut#mclaren#op81#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri 81#f1 smut#f1#f1 fic#angst#oscar piastri fluff
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ellen weinberg
a lot of people online like to praise her because they love her kids, but before she was mama hughes, ellen weinberg was an even more accomplished athlete than her wikipedia page can tell you. well i have way too much time on my hands and an affinity for googling things, so here is a not-so-little primer on the matriarch of hockey who has contributed far more than just her superstar children.
(basically anything not sourced is from the cammi & aj podcast i have a transcript of)
born in st. louis, she was told she couldn't play hockey because girls couldn't play on boys teams in the state of missouri, and there were no girls teams. went to bob johnson's hockey camp in aspen at age 7. moved to dallas at age 8, where she was allowed to play on the boys team. at age 12, is featured in a news clip "girl hockey player" where she says she wants to one day play professional hockey.
at 15, wins nationals with her U-19 soccer team, the dallas sting, and they are sent to represent the US in the first ever FIFA-sanctioned world women’s tournament in china and proceeded to win gold against all expectations becoming the first US team to win any international soccer competition, male or female. also on this team was her best friend, future woso legend carla werden (overbeck). 1, 2
other noteworthy teammates: she played with mia hamm on her state team and was roommates with brandi chastain at her first youth national team camp for soccer.
she was recruited to lots of top schools for soccer, but chose the university of new hampshire because it was also offering hockey. she describes this as "the lack of landscape really drove my next move" because there was only 31 D1 women's soccer programs in the country at the time, and none in the state of texas.
she reached out to the women's hockey coach at unh, russ mccurdy, and told him she was being recruited for soccer but was really coming to unh because she wanted to play hockey, and he told her that it was unlikely she would make the team. so bob johnson called and asked him to give her a shot, and he said ok. he allowed her to have a one week tryout once soccer season was over, and after the first day, he asked, "what size skates do you wear?" and that was it, she was on the team.
the women's soccer coach, marge anderson, was also a lacrosse player, and encouraged ellen to join the lacrosse team that needed more players. so she did. in her own words:
"I wasn't very good. I could run, but my stick skills- and I learned and I did everything, and it was great, and we went to the Final Four, but I was out at that point. So everybody always says I played three sports like, I was on the team. I was, you know, three sports at that level. I was done at that point and I stuck with soccer and hockey after my first year. But it was a really cool experience."
she may have not been very good but she did go on to coach her own kids teams in lacrosse (and potentially owen power, who is confirmed to have played lacrosse with them but it is not confirmed that it was when she coached them)
(she was #21)
she was an elite skater and creative player, and "would often find herself in trouble in Durham for rushing the puck from her defensive post or trying things like a spin-o-rama".
she helped UNH win 3 hockey championships in 4 years, made the all-new england team (soccer) as a freshman, was named an unh athlete of the year finalist after an injury that kept her out for an entire school year, was named to the ECAC all star team, was an ISAA senior recognition award winner, was soccer co-captain in 1990, and then captain of both the soccer and hockey teams as a senior X
in april 1991, she participated in the Eastern Regional Tryouts of the US National Women's Hockey Team
"We've got it pretty good, playing defense," says senior Ellen Weinberg to fellow defenseman Weston. "There aren't as many of us to choose from. But then, when you look at who's there, they're all good!"
she then went on to pursue a graduate degree at UNH where she was an assistant coach for both soccer and hockey for two years, all the while contributing to historical hockey research to the point that she is named in the acknowledgements of Hockey: A Global History by Hardy & Holman
“It was my way of staying involved because I had nowhere to play. Then I participated in the 1992 World Championship, finished my master's degree. Then I really had nowhere to play." (google translated)
The New Hampshire Vol. 83 No. 18 (Nov. 6 1992)
then in 1992, she played for the women's national team in both soccer and hockey.
the soccer team didn't play in any big tournaments that year, but for hockey she went to women's worlds in tampere, finland, where she was an alternate captain. the US won silver, with ellen scoring 3 or 4 assists in 5 games (depending on which source you believe) and ellen was named to the all-star team by the media as the top player in her position.
also in 1992, she was a power skating coach at the summerland female hockey academy, teaching future star hayley wickenheiser.
there was hope that women's hockey would be a part of the 1994 olympics, but when that didn't happen, ellen went to norway anyways to grow the game.
“They were hoping women’s hockey was going to be sanctioned in the ‘94 Olympics and it wasn’t, so the Norwegian ice hockey federation had all this extra funding so they asked USA Hockey for an ambassador to go over and help grow the women’s game,” she said. “We had played in the ’92 World Championships and I was one of the older people and they offered me that opportunity to go over and work with the Norwegian ice hockey federation and what I did was I lived in Oslo. “And I went around to all the little towns and taught the girls how to play. It was awesome. Since Norway was such a small country with four million people at the time, they needed all the buses during the Olympics so everyone went on holiday, so my job stopped for three weeks.” X
ELLEN WEINBERG of Boston and the University of New Hampshire was interested in Coach TIM TAYLOR's tactics at practice. The 25-year-old Weinberg, one of America's best female players, is advising Norway's women's teams. Women's hockey becomes an Olympic sport in 1998. "They complain in Norway that I coach too long on the ice," she said. "They should see this guy, always instructing." X
she was invited to camp in lake placid for the 1994 women’s worlds (which took place every two years then), but suffered a serious knee injury that she believes is because they didn’t have proper support/training facilities
“We didn’t have a gym at the time. It was so different. We just played relying on our athletic instincts. If I got injured, it’s probably because I didn’t have the ideal support,” (google translated) X
by 1996 she was playing for the itech blaiders roller hockey team in NJ (and her then-boyfriend, jim, was coaching the new jersey rockin’ rollers) while also working in broadcasting
she had been considered a lock for the nagano olympics, despite being “old” but that “blown-out knee effectively ended her competitive career” :(
she ended up in nagano anyways as a reporter for cbs, one of her first big gigs in her media career, which i can do a part 2 on if there's interest.
and currently she’s on the USA hockey foundation board and is a player development consultant for the women’s national team
#hopefully this was interesting/helpful#it’s been half finished for so long#ellen weinberg-hughes#jack hughes#luke hughes#quinn hughes
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@wolfstarmicrofic | April 23:rd Teacher AU | Also inspired by this incredible post | 971 words
“It’s because I’m gay.”
Dora’s words had echoed in his head for the better duration of two years.
Two years.
Jesus Christ.
It sounds more clear now that there isn’t an ever pressing haze of alcohol clouding his brain. But alas, he frankly can’t afford to be an alcoholic anymore. He wasn’t even that good at it. A bottle of wine every evening and Remus just turned into a weepier version of his otherwise quite bleak self and watched old rom-coms on tv until he fell asleep on the couch.
But an English teacher’s salary isn’t hefty enough to really support a proper addiction and Remus hadn’t ever been the type of person to steal a car or break into someone’s house just to fuel his habit. With his luck he’d get caught right away anyway.
“This can’t come as a surprise, Rem, we never even had an active sexlife.”
Sure, fine, maybe they hadn’t. But they had been married for years; university best friends turned adult lovers and confidants turned married at twenty five and divorced at thirty three.
The divorce had at least been simple, easy, just like anything else about their relationship. One second she was there, dying her hair in the tub and staining it all bubblegum pink — the next she was moving out and downloading lesbian dating apps.
Remus munches salad from his little packed lunch. He should be planning his classes whilst having lunch — he refuses to, he’d rather sit here all bent-backed and pretend that the salad actually tastes better, that he isn’t regretting moving across the country to get away from it all. That his new life isn’t sinking his mood just like the old one did.
There’s a knock on his classroom door.
Remus looks up from his sad salad. “Come in?”
The door, covered in prints of Shakespeare plays and old illustrations of Of Mice and Men and other English class classics, opens to reveal the knocker.
Sirius has his hair in a bun today, black strands tied back and into a scrunchy that could rival the cheekiest of cheerleaders’. Other than that he is in his usual all black attire, all except his rainbow colored lanyard which holds his keys and the miniature periodic table keyring.
Sirius smiles. It’s all gray eyes that look like they’re sparkling under the hideous fluorescents and can make even the toughest lunch lady blush.
“Hi Remus, is this a bad time?”
Remus tries to swallow the tightness in his throat.
He can’t really deal with Sirius popping by like this, he’s done it quite frequently since Remus’ first week.
“No, not really,” he says, trying to keep his hands from fiddling and his eyes from darting around the room. “What can I help you with?”
Sirius shrugs, careless and relaxed. “I was just wondering if I could borrow your stapler. Seems like mine’s wandered off.”
Sirius drives a motorbike to school.
Remus saw him get off it in the parking lot not too long ago. It felt like the world stood still or maybe moved in slow motion when Sirius removed his helmet and shook his hair out, kitted out in leather. Then his neck got all hot, for some god forsaken reason, and he had to go splash cold water on his face before facing his students in the first period.
So many of Sirius’ supplies have gone missing in the short time where they have worked together.
“Erhm… Yeah, sure— absolutely,” Remus stumbles through sentences as he stands to go fetch the stapler in the supply closet. He turns the little key and quickly looks over the closet, a bit too aware that Sirius is coming closer; if he isn’t misinterpreting the scuff of boots on the floor.
He grabs the stapler, turns around. “Here.”
Sirius is right behind him, right in front of him now. Looking up at Remus with his easy smile and rows of lovely black lashes and… and… and pink lips.
“Thanks, I’ll give it back as soon as I’m done, okay?”
“Yeah…”
Sirius leaves. Remus has to go sit down, he’s feeling dizzy.
“Are you even attracted to me, Rem? I mean— it’s fine if you aren’t. Maybe I’m not your type or something.”
There was always something hidden in Dora’s words, at least in those words. Remus hadn’t come any closer to figuring them out, not even two years later.
He just sits in his darkening apartment, playing those words over and over whilst watching-but-not-really-watching tv. He should really go over to Sirius’ classroom tomorrow. You know, just to make sure he remembers to give the stapler back. And it has absolutely nothing to do with what Dora said those years ago, nothing at all.
In the following morning, Remus dresses in his good shirt and wrestles with his hair for a touch longer than usual. Why? Don’t worry about it.
He goes into work with a determination and anxiety churning in his belly.
He walks up to Sirius’ classroom, a print of Neil deGrasse Tyson on the door, and knocks.
Deep breath.
Sirius opens the door. Light eyes and smiling lips and an overall undeniably beautiful face.
Stapler, that’s what he’s there for.
“Will you go out with me?”
What?! No!
Remus was supposed to ask about the stapler!
Fuck!
Sirius just looks back up at him, glittering eyes and widening smile. He doesn’t say anything.
Remus tries to backpedal. “The stapler — I really need my stapler, that’s what I meant.”
Sirius just smiles. “So I just missed the point two second window of going out with you?”
There’s cotton in Remus’ ears, ringing in his brain. “No— I mean… Wait— Did you want to go out with me?”
Sirius’ smile looks like it’s almost too big for his face. “I thought you’d never ask.”
#wolfstar microfic#wolfstar#sirius black#remus lupin#writing#fig’s venturing out into the world of microfics#anything to procrastinate my actual large writing project
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Good Omens graphic novel update: March 2024
Happy March. We bumped into the one and only Maggie Service at an event earlier this month, and here she is with some enamel friends of ours:
It turns out, her words, not ours, that they’re not only good for the aesthetic, but handy for covering accidental food stains. Here she is showing off the gorgeous Aziraphale and Crowley pins to the crowd.
Anyway, we have a bumper one for you this month, and an important update on timings. Let’s get to it.
PledgeManager
First of all, we were due to launch the PledgeManager with this month’s update, but there’s a few last minute hurdles we need to get through and so we’re pushing it back a few final weeks just to ensure all the is are dotted, and ts are crossed. We’ll now be launching this on Thursday 18th of April, in the late afternoon UK-time, to ensure that all team hands are on deck for the move into this next phase.
We’ve got a bunch of FAQs ready for the launch, and we’ll have a PledgeManager-specific update to coincide with it going live where we’ll lay out everything as clearly as possible. We appreciate your patience on this.
Rather than hold back the PledgeManager-adjacent information to the new launch date, however, we’ll still share with you some of the new things that will be available!
In terms of new additions: you wanted more ̶d̶u̶c̶k̶s̶ items? You’ve got them! We’ve got two new notebooks: one featuring lots of ineffable artwork from the graphic novel, and one featuring the much-loved ducks.
We’ve also got two new mugs: one for Tadfield visitors, and another for… duck lovers.
We’ve got a big sticker set bringing together lots of the art from this campaign. And, we’ve got a new enamel pin pair: these gorgeous Crowley and Aziraphale wings that together make a little love heart. You can either wear them both, or split them with your own best angel.
These will be available to purchase like the Aziraphale and Crowley pin pairs - not tied to the mystery packs.
Tier updates
While some elements of the campaign are facing delays, other elements are hurtling forward at full velocity. Fans of the very cute, brace yourselves: here is Sarah Graley’s print for the loot box:
We’ve got some more map previews from Julien Labit, capturing Tadfield, heaven, hell, and many, many places in between:
And, we’re excited to unveil Alice Oseman’s Crowley illustrations for Loot Box #1, completing the pair alongside her Aziraphale sketches from when she watched Good Omens years ago:
On the add on front, here’s our Good Omens slipcase that can be added to pledges, to keep your graphic novels nice and ̶a̶c̶c̶u̶r̶a̶t̶e̶ cosy:
We are quite into pins, you may have noticed. Here’s some more that will be available in the mystery packs:
Moving up to the Obsidian levels, here are some of the sample art pieces from William the Antichrist, illustrated by fantasy artist Mike Nash featuring Crawleigh, and the Citroen 2CV. We’re excited to see these new editions come to life:
Evolution of Eden
We thought it would be interesting to show the evolution of the graphic novel itself. We’ve found it glorious watching Colleen’s artwork arrive in each new stage, and so here’s a sample of the stages of Colleen’s first image, in the Garden of Eden, from pencil sketch, through ink, to the finished page:
And another, from its initial concept sketch, through to this celestial delight:
Lots happening, the lay of the year changing a little, but still full to the brim with Good Omens.
Until next time.
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sweet disposition – psh
notes: high school au, slice of life, scifi, jay lives to torment sunghoon, angst, hurt, comfort, i learned quantum mechanics to write this, also the first draft of this got me into grad school so #slay i guess
wc: 10.7k
cw: mentions of violence, SA, su1c1de attempt (not actually, it's a metaphor), parent trauma
trailer: you were always stuck in your ways. what happens when you decide to change out of love for someone else?
starring: park sunghoon, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, and aespa karina (yu jimin)
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“just desserts” arc — episodes 1-4
You never liked your name. You thought it didn’t suit you.
After all, it was supposed to mean something like “sound of the heavens”, and you hadn’t spoken in three years. It wasn’t like you were mute or anything. You just didn’t have anything to say to anyone. Like, ever.
Yu Jimin was the closest thing you had to a friend, often acting as a translator between you and the rest of your classmates. You got along well with Jimin because most things she asked would be in the form of a yes or no question, and if she wanted more, it only took one look into your eyes to get an elaborate answer. And you were glad Jimin wasn’t pushy when it came to the subject of your intentional silence.
“I heard they’re playing ‘Silent Penalty’ next week! Those boys are crazy, don’t you think so? Especially Jaeyun and Jongseong,” Jimin cried, clutching her textbooks to her chest with her free arm. You were on your way to your family's cafe, where you worked part-time—Jimin as a waitress, you in the kitchen (where you wouldn’t be bothered).
The month of April tinted the otherwise muted color palette of the outskirts of Shibuya in blushed hues. You always walked home together; the stories of the Hello Kitty murder and the Setagaya Family and the Junko Furuta case so deeply ingrained into their memories that neither of you would allow the other to go anywhere alone. You and Jimin even carried dainty pocket knives in their bags; these were mostly used to open boxes at work or cut slits into the packaging of snacks from the convenience store by your school. But it never hurt to be too safe, especially as teenage girls in a big city.
You nodded, the wind blowing through your high ponytail, tousling several strands out of place. Sometimes you took pity on your friend, wishing you could be better company to the girl who had not left your side since you first moved to Shibuya. You often wondered if you should just tell Jimin how much you appreciated her, and how you wouldn’t leave her unless Jimin explicitly told you to do so.
Tamago to chikai wa kudake-yasui, you thought to yourself as you continued to walk hand-in-hand. Why not just show her?
It wasn’t like you were a “bad” friend. You often helped Jimin with homework (you did it for her) and you were the one who taught her how to ride a bike. You prepared the best bentos, often shaping the onigiri to resemble the cats from Sailor Moon, and always brought an extra fruit jelly stick for Jimin, who would never fail to still be hungry after lunch.
You wondered if that was enough for Jimin. You supposed it was, since Jimin had never once complained… at least, to your face. But you also wondered how long that would last.
“But, I mean, their leader… he’s kinda cute,” Jimin trailed off. The boy in question was Heeseung, the quiet half of the Fox Club twins. Said “club” was known around Kokusai High School as a sometimes-rowdy, always-mischievous gang, whose members were all brilliant in their own right. “And I heard they’re looking for new members! We should try joining them! Even though… even though we’d be the only girls.”
You exhaled sharply, forcefully — your way of laughing with as little effort as possible. Sometimes, if you felt up to it, you would even treat Jimin to a smile. You followed the pebble you’d been kicking since you left Kokusai before stopping to pick it up and rub it clean with the hem of your sweater. Then you handed the polished stone to Jimin, who took it happily, saying she’d add it to her jar at home.
“I think joining them would be a good idea, even if we’d be the only girls… Maybe they’ll find a way to get you to talk again,” Jimin mumbled as you walked ahead of her.
Sometimes, you mused, Jimin would say things and forget that you weren’t deaf, just quiet. Extremely, deafeningly quiet.
“Oh! Did you see that new experiment on TV last night?” Jimin asked, catching up to you. “The one about the snails getting their memories erased.”
You raised your eyebrows, and Jimin continued recounting the details from the news report she watched with her dad.
“I bet they taste gross. Don’t know why people have tried eating them. But you could probably find some way to fix that, huh?” she chirped, opening the back door of the cafe. “Since you’re so good at cooking.
You looked up, turning to Jimin with a playful gleam dancing along the outer corners of your normally blunted affect. You shrugged, as if to say, maybe, but it’s anyone’s guess, and helped Jimin tie her pink apron up.
It was a slow afternoon, the usual customers trickling in one at a time like the dregs of a coffee machine after it’s finished brewing. You noticed that Jimin was especially chatty at the register today, and sighed to yourself as you refilled the almond flour jar slower than your grandmother would have liked. How you wished you could join in the conversation.
It was a shame you were still convinced they’d hear you, but no one would truly listen.
When you finished every random task you could think of doing, you peeked out of the little window between the kitchen and the front counter. Its position was perfect for you to watch the television above the customers’ seating area without being caught by whoever happened to be working the cashier shift.
The program on the television that afternoon was a replay of Yuzuru Hanyu’s record-breaking short routine in figure skating at the 2014 Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia. Yuzuru had since become one of Japan’s permanent darlings, on and off the ice.
You frowned. That could have been you, had you not torn your right Achilles tendon right before high school started; had you not disappointed your entire family in front of a national audience; had you not landed on your ankle on purpose, because you didn’t know how else to tell your mother that your coach had been touching you in the locker room ever since you put your first pair of skates on. It’s not like your mother would have believed you. She was dating him, after all.
Maybe you would have been an Olympian had you not done any of those things, because no one gave medals out for lying and saying everything was fine.
“Y/N-ie,” Jimin called. “Where’s the milk bread?”
There was no answer, but that was a given. Jimin turned around to find your attention fixed to the television, eyes following Yuzuru’s every movement. If you still spoke, you would have been excitedly calling out each triple Axel and Lutz jump as you saw them.
But no sound came out of you, aside from the slow, deep breaths you took.
Jimin immediately grabbed the remote and changed the channel.
You snapped out of your maladaptive daydreaming, picturing yourself on that podium, and went back into the kitchen without any hesitation, and the milk bread was out of the oven several minutes later.
“Hello!” Jimin said. That was odd, you thought. You were about to close for the night. Usually, in the time you’d been working there, this part of your shift went interrupted.
“Oh… Is halmeoni not here?” went the soft, low voice.
Why are they looking for Grandma?
“No, not today. She hasn’t been feeling well lately. Can I get you anything?”
You crept toward the little window again, peeking behind the vase of lavender flowers that sat on the left side of the shelf that ran along the bottom. You recognized the person speaking. He was wearing the Kosukai boys’ uniform: navy blue blazer, a white shirt, burgundy and mauve necktie, and navy trousers. He was quite tall, with full, messy, dark-brown-almost-black hair parted down the middle, framing his tired, upturned eyes.
He was one of the Fox boys—but not one of high ranking, to your knowledge.
“Oh… um…”
“I’ll give you a moment to decide what you want. Pardon me,” Jimin said sweetly, before walking into the kitchen. The sound of the door swinging open startled you, causing you to nearly knock an open sack of flour over. You ducked down under the window before the boy could spot you. Jimin laughed. “What are you doing? Are you spying?”
Pause.
“Do you know who he is?”
No, said your pursed lips. You grabbed a sheet of scrap paper and a pen from the pocket of your frilly black apron and scrawled something down quickly. Jimin took it from you.
I think that’s the boy Grandma told me about. The one she gives the unsold pastries to at the end of the day.
Jimin giggled. “Oh, no shit. He’s cute! But not as cute as Heeseung.”
You rolled your eyes at a specific tempo that Jimin perfectly recognized to mean shut up, he can probably hear you.
“Well, I’ll clean up here. You go give him the bread.”
And with that, she pushed you through the swinging door as if she were moving a stack of heavy crates.
It was times like these that you wished she still had the will to speak, so that you could scream at your friend in disbelief. Jimin sometimes liked to take advantage of the fact that you would only physically protest if she thought it was worth fighting about.
Your eyes softened when you looked at the boy, whose complexion had suddenly tinted the color of pickled plums. It was an uncanny look for someone who was seemingly so reserved and collected, from the times you’d seen him in passing.
“Oh. you ’re the granddaughter, right? Y/N? you ’re in class 3-A, right?” he said, his hands behind his back as he bowed. You nodded.
“I’m in 3-B… So it’s true, huh?”
Pause.
“You don’t talk?”
Another nod.
“You can call me Sunghoon. Nice to meet you,” he said, to which he received a decidedly polite nod. “Oh, yeah. I forgot. I guess you can call me that in your head. Are you the one who does all the baking? If you are, it’s really good.”
You smiled like your muscles weren’t used to the strain before heading to the display case, a brown paper bag in hand. You slid the metal door open and used a pair of tongs to transfer the baked goods into the bag, deftly maneuvering each piece so as to not crush anything. You tied the bag closed with a piece of white ribbon and handed it to him, not allowing yourself to linger on how his cheeks had not let up on their rosy hue.
Sunghoon offered to walk you and Jimin home, out of politeness (and genuine concern for your safety, he said). Jimin accepted before you could even so much as blink a strong no, thanks, and so he waited as the two of you finished closing the cafe before heading in the direction of your apartment building. You tried your best not to panic. Being around the opposite sex was not high up on your very short list of favorite situations.
“I’ve never had a conversation so one-sided and yet only mildly uncomfortable,” Sunghoon said, having since regaled you with some of the more tame stories about the Fox Club. He told you about the time the twins came to school dressed in the girls’ uniforms, when he and three other boys (Park Jonseong, Yang Jungwon, and Nishimura Riki) got into a fight on the train after catching someone nonconsensually taking an upskirt picture, and the famous incident in which more than half of the Foxes ended up in the swimming pool, still fully clothed. “Y/N could hate me for all I know.”
You scowled. He adjusted the strap of your bookbag on his shoulder, clearing his throat. “No, wait, that’s not what you think it means. I meant that because you don’t say anything, you can spend more time judging me.”
You gave him a variation of the same exhaled laugh you only reserved for Jimin, shaking your head. You could already tell Sunghoon was kind by the way he walked on the side closest to the road, and never pushed you to speak the way others tended to do.
“You aren’t?”
I am, but I don’t think poorly of you. It’s the opposite, really.
Jimin chuckled. “She has other things to do besides complain. Like be my best friend. Right, Y/N?”
You nodded.
Of course. you’re pretty much all I have left, and that makes me more pathetic than ever.
—
The next Friday, you took the challenger’s seat at the Fox Den’s lunch table, on an otherwise bleak, foggy afternoon.
The entire cafeteria was in shock. The aforementioned seat was more of a symbolic gesture than anything; the Foxes rarely, if ever, gained new members because of how rough their games could get. The reward, however, was respect, notoriety, and the unyielding loyalty of seven teenage boys.
“Alright, hold on,” Jaeyun, the outgoing one of the twins and de-facto second in command, interrupted as the other boys cheered and swooned over you. He ran a hand through his dyed pastel pink hair cooly, eyeing you in front of him; your posture indicated that you were not scared in the slightest.
You were everyone’s hallway crush, despite your cold exterior and refusal to even consider any confessions of their affection. Not one day could go by without you hearing usually-innocent comments about how pretty you were, garnering comparisons to different shoujo protagonists.
And to exacerbate those remarks, that week, you’d heard the boys giving Sunghoon shit after finding out he walked you and Jimin home; it was all they talked about in their free time since Monday morning, bombarding him with questions about what your voice sounded like and if there were really scars on your ankle and how you smelled.
Everyone froze, waiting for the next words. Jaeyun looked at you as if you were a particularly difficult sudoku puzzle. “You sure you want to do this? I won’t go easy on you just because you’re a girl.”
You nodded metronomically.
Jimin cried out a sharp “No!” before covering her mouth in what you thought was a mix of devastation and realization, tears pooling in her eyes like spring dewdrops on blades of grass. When her eyes locked with yours, the universe was put on hold for a moment. You wished you could hold her hand and say it out loud.
I’m doing this for you.
Beside Jaeyun, Park Jongseong, another one of your fellow third-years, brandished two long needles, previously wrapped in his white handkerchief. He towered in front of you like the Tokyo Skytree, his long black hair covering one eye, the other glinting playfully under the fluorescent lights of the cafeteria. He’d abandoned his blazer over the back of the empty chair in front of her, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up, exposing the prominent veins along his inner forearms. “Who’s going today?”
“I’ll do it,” Sunghoon said over the voices of the other club members, easing his way through the slowly-growing crowd of students. “Let’s make it quick.”
“Who has the stuff?” Jongseong asked, spraying something onto the needles that made the club’s seating area instantly smell like a hospital. You grimaced only for a second, pushing back the memories of being in the emergency room.
There was an exchange between two closed fists, and before any more objections, Heeseung was announcing the rules to Silent Penalty, tossing a pair of dice in the air as he spoke.
“A roll of eight means you take a penalty mission. If both parties have eight at the end of the same round, both will face penalty. We’ll do two penalties. Keep a straight face through both, and you win. Back out, and you forfeit the whole game. Consequences will be decided later on.” He shot a glance at Y/N. “If you win, you will be the first girl in the club. Do you accept?”
You shook your head slowly. The boys whispered furiously behind you. You pointed at Jimin.
“Oh… She means that I get to come, too,” Jimin piped up, half-hidden behind Yang Jungwon’s broad back.
The dark-haired twin snickered. “Fine. That doesn’t bother me. Anyone against it? No? Then let’s start. Good luck, Y/N. Sunghoonie is our best Penalty player.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘best’,” Jongseong argued. “Luckiest, sure.”
Round one: you , 7; Sunghoon, 4.
Round two: you , 9; Sunghoon, 7.
Round three: you , 5; Sunghoon, 11.
“Shit, Seung,” Jongseong murmured to Heeseung as they stood behind Sunghoon. “Maybe you should have picked a different penalty number.”
Heeseung grinned, patting his friend on the back with a heavy hand. “It’s a thirteen-point-eighty-nine percent chance of rolling an eight. Not zero. Just be patient.”
Tensions mounted in the tenth round, but neither Sunghoon nor you were fazed. Not even when both of you rolled your first eight.
Jaeyun clapped, earning him a glare from his twin brother. “Oh, finally.”
“First penalty,” Heeseung announced, nudging Jaeyun aside. “Jongseong, the needles, please.”
Jimin gasped. “No, wait, what are you doing?”
“Ear piercings,” Jongseong answered with a grin as he began to sanitize two silver studs in his handkerchief. With his free hand, he held Jimin firmly in her spot by the cuff of her blazer. “Don’t worry, Heeseung is good at it.” Still clutching her, he used their joined hands to point to his right ear, a diamond earring in the center of his lobe. “Got this one last year.”
“Ready?” Heeseung asked, taking the alcohol-soaked handkerchief from Jongseong, hands already gloved up.
Everyone watched in silence as Sunghoon allowed Heeseung to confidently push the needle into his cartilage. Sunghoon blinked once, twice, then licked his lips all while the earring was inserted and the backing locked into place.
Taking the other needle, Heeseung sauntered over to you. You looked at him before turning to Sunghoon, brushing your hair away from your face.
“You already have a piercing,” he frowned, gingerly pinching your right ear between his pointer finger and thumb. “I’ll just pick another spot… is this okay?”
You nodded, feeling him graze over the protrusion covering the opening of your ear. You inhaled what could have been construed as the last breath of a dying woman, then exhaled as Heeseung pushed the needle through the thick cartilage of her tragus. He screwed the earring into place, smirking.
“Brave girl.” He turned to his brother. “Did she flinch?”
“Didn’t even blink,” Jaeyun praised. “Fucking sick.”
Sunghoon bit his lip, taking the dice out of your cold hand.
Round fifteen: you , 8; Sunghoon, 8.
“Damn, again?” Jongseong remarked. “That’s either very lucky or very unlucky.”
“The special lunch, Sunghoon,” Heeseung commanded. The boy ducked under the table to retrieve a bento box, blowing his bangs out of his face as he came back up. He looked like he was going to throw up. You thought the pain in his ear couldn’t have been that bad for him.
“Do we have to?” he asked. “Can’t we do something else?”
You answered on Heeseung’s behalf, leaning forward, propping your chin up with your hand, elbow resting on the tabletop as you looked into his eyes. Whatever it is, let’s just get it over with. Unless you’re too scared.
“No.” Jaeyun opened the box, revealing two snails and a small clear container filled with white crystalline grains. Sugar, you hoped, although it was most likely salt. “Here. We’re running out of time.”
You each reached for a snail, Sunghoon opting for the larger of the two.
“Wait,” Heeseung ordered, eyes narrowing to the point where he resembled the nickname he was often called—snake. You and Sunghoon waited, still clutching their own snails. “Sunghoonie, give yours to Y/N. She’s the challenger, not you.”
You resisted the urge to squirm as you felt a jolt run up your arm, like you’d accidentally touched the prongs of a plug that was halfway out of an electrical socket.
Sunghoon scowled. “This isn’t going to be pretty, regardless.”
Amane put her free hand over his, with an expression she hoped he would understand as don’t worry, it’ll be fine, and they switched snails.
“Put some sugar and eat it,” Jaeyun chimed in.
Amane let go of his hand as he glared at the shock of pink hair sticking out in the crowd. “The shells, too?” he drawled.
“Don’t be a smartass, Hoon,” Jongseong laughed.
It was slimy and bitter, even with the sugar. You kept your focus on Sunghoon as your lips wrapped around the opening of the shell, sucking on the body until it slid into your mouth. you r first mistake was chewing, the snail guts oozing onto your palate. you r vision blackened around the edges, and in the span of several milliseconds the Sunghoon that sat in front of you was replaced by the image of a younger boy, with the same dark black-brown hair and dark eyes, albeit thinner, almost haggard-looking.
All you could do while you were frozen in place was swallow, watching the boy as he was pushed out of the front door of an unfamiliar house by someone who could have only been his father, a silver second-place trophy thrown after him. It clattered to the ground, smashing into several pieces that the boy gathered up into the hem of his black sweater. He ran through the old, worn-down neighborhood until he reached another apartment, knocking on the glossy red door until a dark-haired woman with glasses answered, letting the crying boy inside.
You felt the unwelcome but familiar sinking feeling of parental disappointment gather in the pit of your stomach, its endless tentacles swirling and wrapping themselves around the chunks of snail entrails that slid down your esophagus.
You guessed that Sunghoon was experiencing something similar, which meant that he saw the memory of a young girl gliding across a sheet of ice in a skintight jeweled red leotard and matching skirt with all the elegance and grace of a koi fish in water. Out of the corner of the girl’s periphery, a group of people gathered at a section of the plexiglass that framed the entire ice rink; one man smiled, and he saw you skate into a jump before landing with a resounding crack that caused every spectator in the stadium to get on their feet for a closer look.
He would have then seen that man run onto the ice and pick you up, cradling you too close to his body even if he were your father. His hands were in the wrong places, and Sunghoon would have to have wondered why no one was saying anything. Perhaps their focus was all on the blood that began to seep through your nude-colored tights.
“Congratulations, Y/N,” went one of the twins—your focus was too far elsewhere to distinguish or care about who it was. “Welcome to the Fox Club.”
You ran out of the school building as soon as the dismissal bell rang, Jimin and Sunghoon calling out after you.
—
“Umiushi,” Sunghoon said, pointing to the creatures at the bottom of the metal basin. You were in the kitchen of the apartment he shared with his aunt, who just so happened to be a marine biologist studying these so-called “memory snails”. “That’s what we ate. But it’s a special type. Jimin said she told you about them.”
You watched the sea snails in a curious disgust, afraid that they would somehow leap out of the water and down your throat. You nodded to affirm him.
“Yeah. Basically, they have some sort of molecule that can be blocked so that their memories can be blocked, too. There’s not much else we know about them… and I asked Aunt Mina—don’t worry, I didn’t tell her what I saw or anything, it was a hypothetical question—I asked her if it’s possible to transfer memories, and she said it’s impossible right now. Something like that would be magic.”
You grimaced. Magic was for children.
It had been two months since that Friday afternoon that changed everything. Since that day, Sunghoon had followed you home, knowing full well what you’d seen from the snail he’d first touched, the one you ended up eating. He told you how his Aunt Mina took him in after his father disowned him for losing the chess tournament, and how they hadn’t spoken since.
The next morning, you showed up at their house and handed him an origami crane with Why the bread, then? scrawled inside.
Sunghoon explained to you that he was saving all his pocket money to one day pay for a chess “tutor” to whip him into shape, so he could win enough matches for him to go home—the promise his father had made to him the last time they’d spoken, almost a decade ago. You appreciated the honesty of a mere acquaintance so much so that you returned to school after that weekend with a photocopy of several diary entries that pertained to the memory he’d intercepted.
Inside, you confirmed his suspicions. The man was your coach, and, incidentally, your mother’s boyfriend. No one believed what was going on, and your furious mother sent you to live with your estranged father’s mother in Shibuya. It was almost five hours away from Sendai, where you had grown up and trained with one of Japan’s future Olympic figure skaters, Yuzuru himself. Before the incident, it was pretty much guaranteed that you would reach that level, too, since everyone said you were blessed by the gods with such talent. But as your mother said, it was you who ruined everything. Not the gods, not the universe, not fate.
You stopped speaking, Sunghoon learned in your handwriting, because you felt as though no one would listen if you did. You said it was easier that way, less effort on your part. It was harder for you to make promises that you didn’t even want to consider keeping. It forced people to be direct, otherwise they’d get nowhere with you. You didn’t like talking, anyway. It was worth less than acting upon things.
The final page of the diary entries was a single line, a proverb you lived by.
Tamago to chikai wa kudake-yasui.
Eggs and vows are easily broken.
—
You stood on the rooftop, the frigid night air whipping your cheeks the color of the sakura trees below. You and Sunghoon had snuck to the top of one of the Tokyo skyscrapers way past midnight, on a whim. Now, as one of the Foxes, you would agree that life was a bit more fun with some trouble.
You were more than happy Jimin had finally confessed her feelings to Heeseung, and he’d reciprocated, even if it meant you and your best friend spent less time alone together. While Sunghoon could never take Jimin’s place exactly, he fit into your life just fine. Maybe it was because you made space for him to be there.
He loved fruit jelly sticks just as much as Jimin, so you started bringing an extra one for him as well. You noticed that when he took the leftovers from your grandmother’s cafe, the taiyaki in the bag excited him the most. He told you that they were called something else back home in Korea, but he thought yours tasted better. After that, you would always “accidentally” make too many, and give him the rest when you thought no one was looking. You once found him in the library playing chess against himself, and the next day you sat in front of him and played until the lunch bell rang, having learned the rules the night before.
You found out Sunghoon spoke the same language as you. Acts of service. He carried around a pack of Salonpas because you were prone to muscle cramps and the occasional shooting pain in your ankle. you ’d always blush and look away when he’d hand you a clip to keep your hair out of your face, ignoring how his fingers lingered on yours just a split second too long to be platonic. When the boys would tease the two of you about being constantly together, you would text your snarky comeback to Sunghoon, and he would say it out loud for you. And everyone would laugh.
You truly were practically inseparable, though. You couldn’t bring yourself to shut him out, not when he’d already seen what you considered to be the worst part of you and why you were the way you were, and still chosen to think the best of you. On Friday nights, when Jimin and Heeseung were out on yet another city expedition, the two of you would sit on the plastic-covered couch in your grandmother’s living room and watch Yuri On Ice, the anime about a competitive figure skater’s return to the sport. And Sunghoon wouldn’t make you feel embarrassed about crying, only comforting you after making sure it was okay to touch you.
You liked him. He could doze off at times, but he never made a big deal about it. You admired that. And you also appreciated that he never said he felt sorry for you and what happened when you were thirteen. It was unnecessary, you thought. The important thing was that he was there.
The Foxes always traveled in packs. For the boys, it was a sign of friendship. To you, it was protection. Being one of the two girls in the club meant they were extra protective over you, and Sunghoon was no exception. In fact, he was the rule. Every day, without fail, he and Heeseung would walk you and Jimin to school, then to work, then back home.
The world felt a little less lonely to you. And maybe, just maybe, you could stop running from it with one good leg to stand on. Maybe you could find it in yourself to forgive a world that took, since that world had Sunghoon in it. Almost as if it were trying to make it up to you.
His black scarf was wrapped around your neck, flooding your nose with the scent of clean laundry and musk. He’d let you wear it on the train ride over to Shinjuku, and you wondered if he was falling in love with you, too. You hoped that he knew you weren’t scared of being so close to him. Not when he was everything you needed from yourself.
“It’s time we started living for ourselves, don’t you think?” you asked, staring down at the city lights in all their neon glory. Every single speck represented another disappointment, another broken heart, another fruitless wish. None of it mattered. But it still did. “Maybe start chasing a different dream. Maybe the same one. But be in control this time. It’s more fun that way, isn’t it?”
The wind blew your pleated uniform skirt upward, and when you turned to see if Sunghoon was looking, he was. At your face. You had just mustered the courage to speak again, voice raspy from years of unuse. You leaned ever so slightly over the edge, arms spread out wide, feeling the strong breeze catch your body in the current. The tickle of the urge to free-fall played around in your mind.
“Y/N!” Sunghoon yelled before grabbing your wrist at the last possible moment and pulling you back hard enough for you to fall on top of him. You clambered off after a moment’s hesitation, sitting beside him and smoothing out the hem of your skirt.
You looked down, almost ashamed of your impulse. “You….”
“Y/N,” he wheezed, pushing his bangs out of his face as he tried to collect himself. “Are you crazy?”
Your brow furrowed as you examined the worried expression that painted his delicate, sculpted face. “What… What’s wrong, Sunghoon?” The roll of your tongue felt nice in your mouth; yes, you could get used to saying his name out loud. “Are you okay?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Sunghoon retorted, to which you answered with your usual breathy laugh.
“I don’t think killing yourself is that funny—did I miss a joke or something?”
You smiled at him, taking his hand into yours. His was much bigger, and warmer, but felt right all the same. “I wasn’t going to kill myself at all,” you said. “At least, not literally.”
Goodbye, silent Y/N.
–––
“under the moon” arc — episodes 5-8
It had been four months since the snail incident. And while you certainly would have not preferred to have someone who was a stranger at the time witness the worst thing that had ever happened to you, you didn’t regret having the sticky ooze of entrails coagulate in your body.
Because you would have never guessed you would gain a whole new family out of it.
The boys could get rowdy at times, but they meant well—for the most part. Those occasional instances when they didn’t were usually because someone had decided to bother you and force you to speak for them. You didn’t mind talking most of the time now; all that mattered was that you got to decide when you’d open your mouth and to whom you’d speak to.
Being one of the two girls in the group certainly had its drawbacks, but you liked to think you balanced them out just fine. After all, their detention rate had gone down in the past couple of months thanks to you insisting they stop throwing water balloons off the gym’s roof and they stop sneaking into the basketball team’s gym to deflate all the balls.
“Y/N-ie,” Jongseong chirped as he sauntered over to the Foxes’ table with his bento in hand. He was the only one besides Jimin who used that particular honorific, and you only allowed him to do so because of how stupidly tall he was compared to you. “Where’s Hoon?”
You looked up from your food, stony eyes glancing at the other boys—and Jimin, who sat beside Heeseung—and everyone shrugged. You blinked slowly at Jongseong before answering, “He’s going to enter the cafeteria in… five seconds.”
“You’re just bullshitting at this point,” Jaeyun laughed, mouth full of rice. While he was certainly more in-your-face than his twin brother, the Foxes’ vice president was surprisingly still pleasant to be around. You would never say it to his ridiculous pink hair, though, because he’d never shut up about it if you did. “Damn, you eat one snail and suddenly you’re Yuuji Itadori or something.”
“She’s not making it up, Yunie,” Jimin chimed in from where Heeseung’s arm was around her shoulder. She pointed in the direction of the double doors. “Look, there he is.”
You lifted your bag out of the chair next to you without even looking to see if Sunghoon had already reached the table. It was like you had a radar for him and him only, and you’d spent the last few days staying up late thinking about how that was possible.
You both seemed to be able to sense what the other person was feeling, which meant that neither of you were ever hungry, tired, or in a bad mood for long. You often would run into each other during times you normally weren’t supposed to be together, the rare occasions where you would spend your weekends alone always seemed to change the moment the both of you left your houses. At one point, you two discovered that not only did Sunghoon have an insane talent for drawing, but he could accurately guess what you were wearing and how your hair was styled without having seen you prior to his sketches.
Thankfully, however, you couldn’t totally read each other’s minds. You would be embarrassed for Sunghoon to find out you’d come to love him if he could hear your thoughts.
It couldn’t have been the snails that did this to you, right?
“Sorry, Hiroto-sensei was chewing my ass out,” Sunghoon said as he shrugged off his uniform blazer and sat down. He placed a carton of mango juice beside your hand, the straw already punctured through the foil seal.
“You were sleeping in class again, weren’t you?” you asked, handing Sunghoon the bento you spent the morning preparing for him. It had all his favorites—pork curry, rice, natto, a soft boiled egg, and the taiyaki from your family’s cafe.
“At this point, I don’t know why he even tries,” he laughed. You smiled at him softly. You were glad you found it in yourself to speak, because your new family actually paid attention to you. They didn’t possess Sunghoon’s attuned nature towards you, but you appreciated them all the same. “I need my nine hours one way or the other.”
“You had nine hours last night.” You paused, chopsticks in midair. “Jongseong, why are you staring?”
The black-haired boy looked at you as if you should have known the answer. “It’s like you two have powers or something.”
“Why would you say that?” Sunghoon asked.
“You two are so connected, it’s romantic.”
You tried to hide the blush spreading across your face. “Shut up.”
You and Sunghoon both agreed that God—at least, the one from Christianity—wasn’t real. Something from a World War II history documentary they’d watched together said it best—a line carved into the walls of a jail in the Mauthausen concentration camp.
“If there is a God, then He will have to beg for my forgiveness.”
Certainly, that God was all sorts of fucked up to grant free will. To allow your figure skating coach to violate your body for years. To be unable to stop Sunghoon’s father from beating him for every game of chess he lost. To give the worst pain to the least deserving.
That is the problem of evil. That if there were such suffering in the world, and yet God could not prevent it, then He is not omnipotent. Maybe He didn’t even come close to the power that Izanami and Izanagi or any of the other Shinto deities held, and they were far from perfect.
Sunghoon once told you that he would destroy the whole world for you if he could, to which you simply rolled your eyes and said that that would be no fun. This was, incidentally, after he’d gifted you a painting he’d done of the ancient lotus garden in Kumamoto. Making art was his new hobby that you made him pick up so he wouldn’t be so burnt out playing chess all the time.
“And why not?”
“Because our suffering helps us delight in everything else that much more,” you answered, resting your cheek on his shoulder. You knew you wouldn’t have said that two months ago, that you would have instead told him that humans are put on Earth to suffer and nothing else, but after being around friends who didn’t take life so seriously (if they ever did at all), you’d learned to have fun with your finite existence as it was.
Of course, you appreciated Sunghoon’s sentiment all the same. It held you close and told you everything would be alright, that the way your life had turned out was not your fault like you’d believed it was, but rather a consequence of things you could not control. In your physics class, Hiroto-sensei had quoted Albert Einstein during a lecture on quantum mechanics.
“God does not play dice with the universe.”
That was to say, Einstein never believed in the idea that atoms were governed by randomness. He turned his nose up at the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which itself stated that there was no way to accurately predetermine the speed and position of a particle at any moment. He asserted that there was no way that anything could be certain, that it wasn’t possible to describe things in terms of probabilities. He thought that the course of all events was fixed, that God formulated and prescribed a certain set of laws and sat back to watch the universe evolve in accordance with those laws.
You would have to disagree with him.
After all, what kind of vindictive God would—
—
“Sunghoon,” you said as you laid on the floor of your living room, listening to music in English because you promised each other that one day you would get out of the country together. On this particular night, your album of choice was Radiohead’s Pablo Honey.
He had mentioned that the band, at one point, refused to play “Creep” live because it was the one song the audience came to hear. You knew what that felt like.
Sunghoon turned his gaze away from the ceiling to look at you, his eyes softening. “Hm?”
“Do… do you still like chess?”
You knew that he would understand what you meant by that. In the past few weeks, you’d had to practice with him after it turned out that you were a better opponent than anyone in Kokusai’s chess club. Sunghoon was still dead-set on going back to playing competitively, all in the name of being allowed to return to his childhood home, to his father, one day. At least, that’s what you thought.
Something about that made you uneasy, but you knew you were in no place to cast stones. After all, you had your own share of disappointing your parents. Your own mother had not come to see you in Shibuya since the day she abandoned you there, effectively handing over any parenting duties to your grandmother. The phone works two ways, and she’d never acknowledged that fact of the universe. And, unlike Sunghoon, you had never been offered the opportunity to go back “home” to Sendai. As if that place had ever been your home to begin with.
The nuances between your circumstances were only sparing, to say the least.
“You’re worried about me,” he declared. “You think I want to win a tournament so I can go home.”
You hummed in agreement.
“Well, yeah. I want to go home. But only to drop that stupid trophy off at my father’s door and be the one who never speaks to him again. Besides, why should I return to that place when I’m completely fine here?”
Maybe Jongseong had a point, you thought. Maybe you two did share something more than a lunch box of snails. Maybe it’s romantic, after all.
“Are you really okay here?”
He returned his gaze to the ceiling, avoiding your eyes. “Yeah. Because it’s where you are.”
—
Sunghoon knelt down at your feet, lacing up your ice skates.
However, your legs were bouncing uncontrollably, and it wasn’t because of how cold the indoor rink was. Part of you wished that your Achilles tendon didn’t heal completely.
“Look, you made it this far,” Sunghoon said quietly, brushing his fingers against your supposed bad ankle. The doctors had said you’d be fine to skate on it, that it was your mind that wasn’t allowing you to try again. “We can come back another time.”
You shook your head. How you’d longed to be back, pining for a time where you would be free from the prison of invisible hands gripping her limbs, pinning you down on the ground. “No. I promised you we’d do it today. I need to do this for myself, too.”
“If you can’t—”
“Don’t tell me you doubt me, because I’ve already got that covered,” you snapped, the words flying out faster than you could control them. Your hand came up to cover your mouth. “I’m sorry, Hoonie. I didn’t mean—”
He shook his head, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Don’t worry. It’s nice to finally hear what you think. But I disagree. You are so much more than you realize. I’m proud of you.”
Your eyes closed gently before you allowed herself to momentarily soak up those four words.
Then you shrugged off your coat and took his hand, letting him guide you to the rink. The frigid air tried to seep through your fleece-lined stockings but it was nothing to you as you began to wobble on the ice. You scolded herself internally and forced her muscles to relax. It was unbecoming of you to say you should have been an Olympian before the accident and then proceed to look like you needed a walker.
It took several moments before you began to glide carefully, the blades of your skates just an extension of your body.
You didn’t need to go back to Sendai anymore. You could stand on both legs now, head held high.
For the next few minutes, you took your time getting used to the feeling again, silently willing all of your faith in yourself to return. You were different now. You could trust yourself. Protect yourself. Being a Fox brought that out of you—your bravery, determination, the unabashed desire to take what the universe threw at you and spit it back in its face.
Of course, you had to thank Sunghoon for showing up when he did. Before then, you were what some people would call just waiting to die. Waiting for the possible day in which you would stop being who you were.
He never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to do. He never forced himself on you. The first time you ever held hands, it was you who reached for him in your sleep as you napped on the floor next to him, the space heater keeping the two of you warm.
Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared.
You didn’t need to, anymore. You glanced over your shoulder to find Sunghoon watching you intently, head propped up with his hand as he leaned on the railing.
One, two… three… jump.
You closed your eyes and leapt, spinning three hundred and sixty degrees before landing with only minimal strain, the skirt of your dress fluttering. You could hear Sunghoon’s overjoyed cries faintly as you continued to swim through the air, feeling the rush that used to overcome you when you were younger, although this time, there was nothing looming over you like the shadow of the Grim Reaper. Your entire body vibrated, all of your electrons dancing along with you.
Sunghoon didn’t hesitate when you came to him, pulling you in for a tight hug.
It was short-lived, though, because as soon as you came into contact,
you passed right through him.
“What… what the fuck?” he whispered, turning his head around to see you standing behind him. You were staring at your own hands, wondering what the hell just happened. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It didn’t hurt.” You looked at him with a mirrored wide-eyed expression. “I think we need to call Jongseong.”
“I knew it,” Park Jongseong said smugly, strolling into the lobby of the ice rink with his hands in his pockets and an unlit Seven Stars dangling from his lips. You and Sunghoon sat one seat apart, in fear that it would happen again.
“Don’t be crazy,” you muttered as you crossed your arms. You uncrossed them when you considered the possibility that your hands could go inside your body if you weren’t careful. “There’s no such thing as having powers.”
“Sure,” Sunghoon added. “But there has to be some sort of explanation for this.”
Jongseong grinned, pushing his black hair out of his face. “Yeah. You’ve heard of quantum theory, right? Atomic principles? Hoon, you weren’t asleep during that lecture, were you?”
“Maybe I was. What do atoms have to do with any of this?” Sunghoon asked, rolling his eyes.
“Well, basically… how can I explain this easily… uh… your atoms and Y/N’s were so perfectly aligned that you… y’know… passed through each other.”
You frowned. “But Einstein said—”
“He was wrong. People can be wrong. Shit, even the gods were wrong sometimes. Damn, do you sleep in class, too?”
“I—”
“Nothing,” Jongseong said, “is a guarantee. Except death.”
Take that, Einstein.
—
“You’re beautiful. I wish I could draw you right now,” he said.
You let out a soft, nervous laugh. “Cameras exist. You could just take a picture.”
“That’s not nearly enough.”
Your hands trailed shakily along the lapels of Sunghoon’s blue blazer, fingertips grazing the hem as he edged closer to you. You wondered if the accident would happen again.
“H-hoon…” you whispered as you attempted to sink your head deeper into his scarf wrapped around your neck. “I’m scared.”
They were on the rooftop you’d killed herself on—in the metaphorical sense—all those months ago. Since then, everything as you knew it was different, from your voice to the way you presented yourself all the way down to how you felt.
“Nonsense,” he quipped in the same hushed tone. Your eyes were locked on your shoes, feet pointed toward one another. “You’re damn well the bravest person I know. It’s contagious, actually.”
“This is different,” you replied. You rubbed the fabric of his blazer feebly. “I…”
“I love you,” he said, tucking his index and middle fingers beneath her chin to tilt your head up to look at him. “I really love you.”
I love you. I love you a lot.
“No! you can’t just… you can’t just say it like that!” you protested, hands flattening against his broad chest and attempting to push him away from you. It was no use. Despite how lanky he appeared to be, he was built like an iron wall.
Sunghoon chuckled, wrapping his fingers around yours. “How would you rather I say it?”
You froze as heat rose to your face. They’d just discussed this in class; the story went that Souseki Natsume, a famous writer who once taught English, said that because the Japanese did not declare their love so loosely the way Westerners did, the most appropriate equivalent of the expression would be “the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”.
And the most appropriate “literary” response to that came out of your mouth smoothly, like melted ice cream. “Shindemo ii wa.”
I would die happy.
–––
season finale: i know the end — episodes 9-12
When observed under a microscope, two particles both affected by one experience will no longer exist as individuals thereafter, but as two halves of one whole. This phenomenon is known as quantum entanglement, and had been used by several of your closest friends to describe the way in which your life had flipped itself over its axis on one April afternoon in your third and final year of high school.
Five years had passed since you’d graduated. Since the day you grew a spine and ate a snail with Park Sunghoon, the day you stopped living on autopilot. Since you’d fallen in love with him and regained the mastery of your own voice, both of these things you’d done over and over again, day after day. And it had been three years since you finally returned to competitive figure skating to prove that you could do more than just fine on your own, without your mother and certainly without a coach who would violate your physical existence.
But in those years, Sunghoon still hadn’t made it out of Japan like he said you both would someday. At least, you hoped, not yet. Not yet, but soon. You knew it had to be soon.
You sat in your small apartment in the Fairfax district of Los Angeles, an expensive neighborhood you were only able to afford because of the amount of endorsements you’d taken on. Your little black cat, Tai, as in taiyaki, as in the dessert Sunghoon loved so much, purred contentedly in your lap as you stared out of the window and into the street below.
You’d agreed to adopt a cat together one day. You wondered if he already had one of his own by now. You assumed he did; on several occasions you could sense his presence, encouraging you, making you push forward and keep fighting against the universe, against Izanami and Izanagi, against God Himself.
This was what you did in your free time. Miss your life back home. You didn’t want to make any new friends. It was useless. No one could take or come anywhere remotely near Sunghoon’s place—or Jimin’s, or Heeseung’s, or Jaeyun’s, or Jongseong’s, for that matter.
Soon, you promised yourself, you could show Sunghoon all that he’d missed out on. In your second year in America, you finally mastered the quadruple lutz after several doctors quelled your anxieties and confirmed your ankle really had healed miraculously.
You decided you would also take Sunghoon to Little Tokyo, Los Angeles, where you’d go every time you felt like getting on a Boeing 747 to give up on this dream once and for all and go back to him, your other dream—if he’d still have you, that is. You didn’t know for sure.
You played with your phone in your hand, turning it over in your palm. You knew he was only a call away, but you were starting to go back to your old self, unsure of whether or not he’d even pick up. There was also a newfound sense of pride you had, not wanting to be the first one to cave in. If he was the one who pushed you forward, why should you be like Eurydice and turn around to look back?
But Sunghoon was the one who put it best, every single time you asked him why he gave up on playing chess in favor of going to art school after graduation—even though his victory in the championships would win back the respect of his father: “I don’t need to go home when you’re right beside me.”
Liar. Where are you?
That night, like many other nights spent lonely, you could feel him beside you, when everything was still except your own chest, aching for some sort of reprieve from the constant gravitational pull of your personal sun and moon, and the monotonous whirr of the electric fan that sat watch beside yoiur bed. You felt the ghost of his fingertips along your spine, and since you happened to be super lucky and lying extra quietly this time—you heard his voice, soft and low and warm like whiskey down your throat. It played on a loop until it lulled you to sleep.
“We’ll go together. I promise.”
He’d said that the night he admitted he loved you.
You also knew that he always knew where you stood on things as flimsy as words:
Tamago to chikai wa kudake-yasui.
Eggs and vows are easily broken.
And since he knew, why would he say that—when he was the one who could read you without even so much as a perfunctory glance? Why would he stand with you in Terminal 1 of Tokyo Narita without his own boarding pass? Why would he tell you to break up with him right before you got on that plane to California?
Stupid plane. Stupid distance. Stupid Y/N. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You had no patience for idiots. You weren’t excluded from your own disdain.
The only thing that kept you sane was the fact that somewhere deep inside you, in a place whose existence you were reluctant to acknowledge, you knew that one day, you’d see him again.
You had to.
You just hoped you’d still be able to recognize each other.
—
To change the polarity of an electromagnet, two people are required. They use one snail for each person. Their most repressed memory will transfer over to the snail once it’s been touched. In order for the magnetic fields to switch, the parties must switch their snails and consume them.
The result should not end in repulsion.
The day Sunghoon’s atoms had lined up with yours so perfectly that you passed right through him was an indicator that some things weren’t just theories that could be disproved with a fallacy or two. That much was true.
You sighed, trudging through the farmer’s market in search of your favorite stand, which was run by a group of friends who reminded you so much of your beloved Fox Club back home. They sold baked goods that your trainer would frown upon if she saw them, but you believed that you deserved to eat them every Sunday.
And without fail, Sunghoon’s voice popped up in your head, reassuring you that you could eat them every day if you wanted to, just as long as you did it in moderation.
“Thank you,” you whispered quietly, still unsure as ever if he could hear your reply.
You paid for the decadent salted chocolate chip cookies and walked the four blocks home, debating for the millionth time over why you and him had to be forced apart. Did it mean you had to grow alone first? Would you be able to ever feel whole again?
You were able, however, to feel him missing you. So it wasn’t as completely one-sided as it seemed to be sometimes. It was always there, a slight tug in your heartstrings like a thread on its last life. It sat in your chest right beside where you missed him. On this particular day, it was strong. Stronger than any of the other days that came before, so overwhelming that you had to stop halfway home and sit on a bench to catch your breath.
Could quantum theory explain how he could feel whatever you were thinking? Or how you knew, back when you two were still together, what he wanted for dinner before you even asked? Or how your anxieties would disappear just as fast as they came, replaced by a flood of reassurances?
You had had a feeling that he failed his Visa interview on purpose, six months before you were slated to go to America. In the embassy’s lobby, he’d told you that the interviewer said he would have passed if you were his wife and not just his girlfriend.
Liar.
He’d assured you that he did want to go with you. He could find a job working for Pixar or Illumination or anywhere that would hire him for his talent. So why was the universe making it so hard for you to be together now, when the first two years of your entanglement were so easy?
Nothing, you learned, was supposed to make sense. You could spend hours asking “But why?” to every answer and there would be nothing to shut you up. In fleeting moments you would reconsider your decision to speak again, because the one person you spoke for was a little more than five thousand miles away.
So how am I able to be happy when he isn’t right next to me?
Not as happy as you knew you could be, but happy nonetheless. You were running after your first dream, after all.
Your phone rang when you got home.
“Jimin?” you asked, squinting at the screen. You were met with the image of your best friend, bouncing her seven-month-old baby on her lap, a little girl named after you. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin’s husband, Heeseung, called, waving to the camera. It was so surreal for you to think that Jimin ended up with her high school boyfriend while you were twenty-three and still pining over yours.
“Have you seen it?” Jimin squealed over the sound of the baby’s giggling. A TV in the background could be heard, the voices speaking Japanese. “The first episode just came out!”
“Seen what? What are you talking about? It’s literally only ten in the morning here.”
“Sunghoon’s anime! It’s so good!”
Your heart stopped pumping for a split second as you heard the double saccharine syllables of his name. The little communication you had with him while you were gone were only simple, fond exchanges over congratulations. The last you’d heard from him, he’d gotten a job at a big animation studio. Of course he was too humble to tell you everything. “What… What's it about?”
“It’s a romance. Everyone in the world is assigned a soulmate and the main characters experience a lot of crazy shit the closer they get to each other. Sorry the summary’s so bad, I promise it’s way better than I just made it sound.”
Soulmates, huh?
—
It has been said that the atoms of the universe have been rearranged to create the world as it is known now. Should that be true, two people can be born of the same star and not realize it until the moment presents itself.
You knew Sunghoon was there before you even saw him in the crowd. The air suddenly felt different, like you’d just dragged your bare feet through carpet and was just millimeters away from touching a brass doorknob.
On normal competition days you would have attributed the charged atmosphere to nerves or the ten-thousand volt energy of the spectators cheering on their favorite skater. But it wasn’t a normal competition day, unless the winter Olympics in Seattle was just some regular thing.
You knew it: Sunghoon had made it out of Japan this time.
“Ladies and gentlemen, in third place, USA: Allison Steadmeyer!”
Cue music. Polite wave. Applause.
“In second place, Russia: Irina Khodorkhovsky!”
Music. Wave. Applause.
“In first place, Japan: Y/N!”
The single cheer of one person drowned out the rest.
“Why did you walk away from me?” you asked quietly; anyone around would have chalked up your tears as those of victory, of making a comeback worthy of an Oscar-nominated film. That was because they couldn’t feel the way you instinctively latched onto Sunghoon like an oxygen atom receiving its electron pairing. “Why didn’t you go with me?”
“I didn’t want to get in the way of your dreams,” Sunghoon said into the apple scent of your hairspray. You trembled in his arms, the dazzling Swarovski crystals of your midnight blue spandex dress digging through the wool of his coat. “I knew I would only be a bother to you in the end.”
“Liar.” Tears swam in your vision, blurring his face until he was only the galaxy of vanilla and cinnamon you saw every night behind your eyelids. “Didn’t you know? Didn’t you know that you were a part of them?”
“No.”
You were even stronger by then. The first time you ever tried to physically push him away, he was confessing his love for you. This time, he stumbled backward, albeit only by one step. “Liar!”
“I’m sorry. You know I love you and that hasn’t changed. I just wanted you to be free, I didn’t want to be a burden on you. But it seems as though we’re really meant to be together. I didn’t do what I did to hurt you. I tried so hard to make it not hurt. ”
“What do you mean?”
“As long as I tried to be happy, I figured that you would feel it, too. You know, like what Jongseong said when we were younger. We’re connected. But it was difficult. Every day, I felt you missing me as much as I missed you.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“That even if we were across the entire fucking universe, we’d still be tied together. And nothing could come between that. I know it now, and I’m sorry.”
“I never want to hear you apologize to me ever again,” you mumbled.
—
“Y/N?”
You were lying on your hotel bed, one of his arms wrapped around your shoulder as his hand aimlessly played with your hair that was still wavy from being knotted in a tight bun for your performance that day.
One side of your face was pressed against where his heart beat in synchronization with yours. “Yes?”
“Did you ever feel… alone?”
You shook your head. “No. Just lonely.”
“Do you still feel it now?”
“Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”
He pressed a kiss to the bony ridges of your knuckles. “And I’m never leaving unless it’s with you.”
a/n: surprise surprise! y'all thought SSV was gonna be my debut on here? well i lied. here's arguably one of the saddest things i've written so far besides that one angst i wrote in stella's dms last week. i hope you love it as much as i loved writing it. thank you to nia for encouraging me to post this :D taglist: @karinasbaby @enha-stars @intromortal @heeslomll @venomhee @heeheeswifey
#🀄️fics#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x y/n#sunghoon x you#enhypen fluff#enhypen fanfiction#enha fluff#sunghoon au#FUCK MAKING TAGS#WHAT DO I SAY#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon fic#i give up#this is it for me#wait#sunghoon angst
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Dead Boy Detectives Cancelation
So in light of the heartbreaking news of Dead Boy Detectives getting canceled, I decided to write a letter to @netflix It's the first time I've ever felt compelled to reach out to a major company regarding their services but I wanted them to know how much the show means to us as fans and what they're taking away from us by canceling it.
For me, the show was a literal life-saver. Without going into too much detail, I was in a very dark place prior to its release and it was the only thing that helped me through it. That and meeting all of you =)
I don't know what impact it will have, if any, but if you would like to write a letter to Netflix as well letting them know what the show meant to you, I would definitely do so. Our community may be small compared to other fandoms but we are passionate and devoted to this show and they deserve to hear from us.
I've attached the letter below the cut for anyone who would like to read it and believe me, I'm not trying to medal in the tragedy Olympics with the intro, it's just a fact of what happened.
Maybe the show helped you in ways you couldn't imagine. Maybe it made you feel better about yourself or something that occurred in the past. Maybe it was just a fun comfort show for you that you really enjoyed. Whatever the reason, this show brought out the best in people and made the world feel just a little bit kinder for a while and I will never forgive Netflix for taking that away.
To whom it may concern,
On April 29th, I sat down and watched the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives.
I had heard good things about the show since its release a few days earlier, that it was fun and campy and easy to watch, but for me I was hoping it would be a distraction. A very close friend of mine passed away without warning on December 30th; she was just there one day and gone the next. The first half of the year was spent helping her family get her affairs in order while trying to process our shared grief and figure out how we could move on without her.
I didn’t begin to feel like myself again until late March and by then it was only a fraction of who I had been before her passing. So when I sat down and pulled up the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives, the only goal I had in mind was to pass a few hours watching a silly supernatural mystery show and think about something other than this sense of loss and imbalance that had settled over me.
It was the first time I smiled in nearly three weeks and it was the first time I laughed since December.
I watched the entire series, start to finish, in one night. Then I went back and watched it again the next day. And again a few days later. And for the first time since her passing, I felt like my friend was still there somehow, like we were watching it together. It was exactly the kind of show she would have loved when she was alive, flamboyant and silly with a touch of romance and mystery, so on my fourth rewatch of it, I sat on my couch with a picture of the two of us cradled in my lap, watching a show I know she would have enjoyed and feeling just the tiniest bit of my grief fade.
It was through the Dead Boy Detectives that I found a community online, a group of people who loved the show just as much as I did. We traded theories and ideas about the episodes, we excitedly welcomed new members who had just finished it and encouraged others to watch it in the meantime. We set up forums and threads on Reddit, we messaged each other, we embraced this silly, quirky show so much that it became a safe haven for a lot of us, it became a comfort series. We saw ourselves in this show and these characters and for many of us it gave us a sense of fellowship and belonging in a world where that feels more rare by the day.
And then it got canceled and for many of us, it felt like a slap in the face for the fans.
While I don’t claim to know the metrics on which a show’s success and renewal odds are based or what formula is used to determine ratings, I do know you didn’t see the fandom we created for ourselves because of this show.
There are artists who make the most breathtaking art pieces you’ve ever seen, writers who bring you to tears with their works, and creators who painstakingly and lovingly created playlists and mood boards for each of the characters, matching them with songs and snippets of poetry that fit so perfectly it felt like it was made for them. There are fans who cosplay so well it looks like they borrowed the costumes directly from the production team and some who make jewelry and charms and trinkets that sell out almost before they complete them.
We engaged with the stars as well, wanting them to know how much we loved the show and these characters and how grateful we were to have watched them. We set up Q&As and asked them questions through Cameo, all the while thanking them for their work in bringing these characters to life. This show meant so much to us and we wanted them to know just what an impact they had had on more people than they ever could have imagined.
We were well aware of Netflix’s reputation of canceling shows based on poor viewership so we went in and organized weekly watch parties in an effort to increase the number of new viewers. We promoted it on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, creators made videos for it on TikTok, and we created an entirely new tag on social media to bring more attention to this show we all loved so much.
Early on, there were several comments from people who said they were hesitant to even watch it; they had been burned before and didn’t want to get deeply involved with a new show that would turn into yet another “one season wonder.” We did our best to reassure them and convince them that this time it would be different; it wouldn’t be like all the shows that had been cut down before it could ever really develop. Since it was tied in with DC and The Sandman Universe, we promised them that maybe this time we could save it, maybe this time it would be enough.
And it was still canceled.
On Friday, August 30th, ten minutes after the news broke that Dead Boy Detectives had been canceled, I canceled my Netflix subscription. Netflix was the first streaming service I ever signed up for and today it is the only streaming service I have ever canceled. And, after watching the fallout in our little online community, watching the actual grief people were experiencing because of the cancellation, and scrolling through pages upon pages of outraged fans who swore they would never watch another program on Netflix and vowed to cancel their subscription that day, I can see that my decision was justified.
You have no idea the impact this show had on its viewers and you have no idea the impact you had when you took it away. We had people admit that the show helped them come to terms with their sexuality, helped them process deep-seated trauma, helped them love and accept themselves for who they were. We knew the Dead Boy Detectives would never be a runaway hit like Stranger Things or Bridgerton but we hoped and prayed that it would stick around just a little while longer, that we could enjoy these characters and their stories for even one more season before they were gone for good.
For you it may have been just a silly little ghost show that was little more than a blip on the radar but for a lot of us it was so much more than that, it meant so much more than that.
I am under no illusions that this email will make a difference or that it will bring the show back from cancellation but I wanted you to know what an incredible and amazingly talented fandom you are leaving behind in its wake. These are people who put their heart and soul into the art they create and the words they put on paper and all we wanted was a chance to see that continue.
We are tired of being drawn into a program and falling in love with the characters with no guarantee that our viewership and involvement actually means anything. We are tired of begging for complex characters and the representation we crave in media only to have the rug jerked out from under us once we finally get it. We are tired of hoping and praying and campaigning to save a show that should easily be renewed for several seasons or, at the very least, a season two.
We are tired of feeling like we’re being taken advantage of as fans, that the passion and excitement we have toward these shows and their stars, the kind of involvement you claim to want, is dismissed with little regard toward the fans of the show itself.
We are your audience and we are tired.
We will continue to love and cherish this show and these characters, without your involvement, and give them a much longer life than they ever had on your platform. This show, the cast and crew, and the fans deserve better than what you gave them and I hope you understand the tremendous amount of talent and passion you’re throwing away in your fan base.
With regards,
-M
#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives season 2#renew dead boy detectives#save dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki
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TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.
chapter four:
<last chapter> <next chapter>
➴ chapter warnings: drinking and kinda suggestive? sex is mentioned!
➴ word count: 3k
💌 from me to you: i think one of you cast a spell on me because i cannot wait until friday to publish this. also, i listened to self righteous by bryson tiller while i wrote this. just saying!
౨ৎ
2024, APRIL.
liked by nickharris_img, imgmodels, lhughes_06 and 390,813 others
madisoncarter mood because bella and i are the newest vancouver girlies
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vic_alonso 🤩🤩🤩
ellecanada Welcome, love 💛
madisoncarter_updates Omggg we’re so excited for you babe!!!!!!!
user1 she’s never beating the “idk who the hughes brothers are” allegations
nickharris_img I miss you already Mads 💔
lavieenrose Welcome home, Flower! 🌷🌼🌹
user2 bella looks so cute
౨ৎ
“WHAT DO you think, baby?”
Bella stared at you before she started running around the place, sniffing every corner.
It was officially your first day living in Vancouver. You had been coming and going to Vancouver ever since you’d signed your contract with La Vie en Rose, arranging things and getting your shit together.
Nicholas was right, their team took care of everything, and they got you a nice place too. You still had to pay rent but at least you didn’t have to go apartment hunting, which was something you hated.
You and Bella landed in Vancouver last night, and you didn’t have the energy to do anything but lay on your bed with her and sleep the entire Saturday. It was Sunday now, and you were trying to get Bella used to the rooms before you had to leave for your first shooting on Monday.
“It’s not so bad, is it?” You asked her, putting your hands on your waist. “I think it’s nice.”
Your phone rang and you picked it up, reading Quinn’s text with a smile on your face.
You’ve been texting everyday since that day at his house, and you felt like the world was finally spinning right again. Having Quinn back in your life— and consequently Ellen, Jim, Luke and Jack as well— made you so happy it was almost unbelievable.
He texted at weird hours, sometimes at three a.m. and sometimes at six p.m., but he always asked about you and how you were doing. Have you eaten? How’s the moving going? Do you need any help?
You’d stare at those texts and ask yourself the same thing you’ve been asking since you were eleven: why he was so kind to you? Not that you were complaining. It just felt weird to have someone who cared as much as he did again.
You told him you were now permanently living in Vancouver and he told you he’d come see you whenever he got back from Seattle. You felt your heart beating faster just with the thought of him at your place, both of you alone for the first time after that awkward moment at his house, with you hangover as fuck.
Now you would be sober and in your space, not his.
You sighed, watching Bella preparing herself for a nap in her massive bed by the balcony and you decided that napping was the right solution for you too.
౨ৎ
YOUR FIRST day at La Vie en Rose had been a success, not that you expected anything else.
Turns out your editor-in-chief, Victoria, was one of the nicest people you had ever met; she talked you through the process of working for La Vie en Rose and answered all of your questions with patience and kindness.
“You were our target for a long time before we managed to snatch you,” she joked when you mentioned that working with them was a dream come true. “So we’re the ones who should be thankful.”
She took you to her favorite restaurant and bought your lunch while she talked your ears off, in the best way possible. You never had a girl friend before. Between casting and auditions, you never got to make many friends. And in the world of modeling, there weren’t friends— you had to see the other girls as your opponents, people you had to defeat. Your body had to be better, your hair had to be shinier, your catwalk had to be smoother.
So when Victoria treated you as a friend, even if you’d met each other a few hours ago, it was like the universe was being kind to you again.
You were on your way home, enjoying the view as you walked down the streets, grateful that you still didn’t have a car because the city was really beautiful, even with the cold weather.
You arrived at your apartment, going all the way up to the ninth floor. When you opened your door, Bella almost knocked you down, jumping on you and licking your face.
“You’re going to hurt mommy, baby,” You laughed, caressing her fur. “I missed you too.”
She barked and you got up, finally closing the door and removing your heels. You left your bag on the couch and ran to your bathroom, desperate for a hot shower and pajamas. The best part of your house was the central heater system, and the fact that you got to wear your tiny pajama sets even when it was snowing outside.
You did your nightly skincare and spread the vanilla scented lotion on your entire body, before applying your favorite perfume— no need to specify the scent. You were a vanilla girl through and through and you would never leave the house unless you smelled like a bakery.
It was only eight p.m. but you were so tired that all you wanted to do was crash in your bed and sleep, but you still had to give Bella her dinner. So you walked to your laundry room, where you kept all of her things— you were that king of dog mom who buys your dog three hundred winter clothes and five hundred chewing toys— and grabbed her food pot, shaking it lightly to grab her attention.
Which worked momentarily because next thing you knew the doorbell was ringing and Bella was running to the door, barking loudly.
“Bella!” You reprimanded her, putting your index finger in front of your mouth and shushing her. “Quiet, please.”
You opened the door even without knowing who was on the other side, which was probably a bad and dangerous thing to do, but it was just Quinn, wearing a suit and holding a suitcase.
“Quinn?” You watched as Bella jumped on him, excited to see someone else. “Bella, down, please. Leave him alone.”
“Oh, hello there,” he bent over and patted Bella’s head, caressing her fur while she licked his hands. “Who are you, hm?”
“That’s Bella,” you said, opening the door so he could get inside. You watched as he got up and stared down at you, eyeing you up and down. You followed his gaze and realized that you were still only wearing your pink, almost see through pajama set and with the cold breeze that hit you when you opened the door, your nipples decided that now was a good time to mark through your shirt. “Um.”
Something flashed through Quinn’s eyes, but you didn’t know what. He coughed, closing the door for you. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”
“O-oh, right. Bella,” you looked at her, watching as she sniffed Quinn’s things. “I adopted her when I moved to LA. We were both alone and she was living at a shelter.” You smiled, remembering the day you took her home. “She was so small and so scared. She was sitting alone at a corner and I just… I couldn’t leave her there.”
Quinn chuckled, nodding. “You’re still the sweetest person I have ever met.”
“Oh, stop it,” you croaked, smiling.
“Just saying,” he shrugged, putting his hands on his pocket and resting his body against the door. “I just came to check on you. Nice place you got here.”
You looked around, agreeing with him.
“It is, I was just telling Bella this,” you started. “It’s not big but it’s perfect for us. I like it a lot. Especially the heater.”
“That’s nice too,” he agrees. “What are you having for dinner?”
You stared at him, confused. Only that you couldn’t tell him that dinner wasn’t something that happened everyday in your world.
“Hum,” you stutter. “Nothing? I was just ready to go to bed, actually.”
“That’s too bad,” he removed his shoes and started walking around your place like he’d been there a million times before. “I’m starving. We just got here from Seattle. What do you want me to cook?”
“You don’t need to cook anything,” he cocks his head at you, eyes staring deep into your soul. “I’m not hungry. But I can cook something for you if you want to.”
“I don’t like eating alone. And you can’t just go to bed without eating anything.”
“Quinn…” you sigh, placing your hands on your hips. “Don’t do this. Please?”
“I’m not doing anything, I’m just saying. So,” he claps his hands. “What are we having?”
“Jesus, I forgot how annoying you are,” you roll your eyes, holding back a smile. “We can maybe have a salad.”
“If you want to kill me, there are faster ways to do it,” he whines and you laugh. “Can I take care of dinner and you take care of Bella while I cook?”
“I wanna help.” You pout and he smiles.
“You can help by sitting there,” he points at your dinner table. “And looking pretty. You’re good at that anyway.”
You laughed out loud, wrapping your arms around your chest. “You’re old and annoying, Quinn Hughes.”
He opened your cabinets, searching for something with his eyes.
“What do you think about rice and salmon?” He asks, picking up the rice package.
“Maybe potatoes instead of rice?” You suggest, pointing at the potato sack sitting in your kitchen trolley.
“Alright,” he pulls up the sleeves of his suit, and goes to the sink to wash his hands. “Let’s get to work.”
To your surprise, Quinn moved around your kitchen with ease, even when he had never visited you before. He finely chopped the potatoes, putting them in the oven to let them roast before he moved to the salmon, seasoning it with the spices you had in your cabinet.
He listened to you the entire time, with you yapping about your day and how nice Victoria had treated you and how Nicholas had called you mid-shooting to ask how you were doing.
“What exactly do you do?” He asked, while you grabbed a wine bottle from your fridge.
“Well, it depends,” you replied, grabbing wine glasses from your cabinet and opening the bottle. “Sometimes I just take pictures all day, in different locations and outfits. Sometimes I have to go to runways. Sometimes both. Not to mention the social media work, the TikToks and all of that.”
“I don’t even wanna hear about TikToks,” he rolls his eyes, making you laugh. “The Canucks media team are always asking us to do stupid trends and answer weird questions. What does ‘very demure’ even mean anyway?”
“You’re too old for that, Quinny,” you joke, filling your glasses up. “Do you know what I think?”
“Hm?”
“I think you should come see me at a runway show,” you suggest, knowing damn well Quinn would never sit on a chair for an hour and a half just to watch women wear weird, provocative clothes and catwalk on a platform. “It’d be interesting.”
“Only if I get to bring my team with me so it’ll be less boring.” He fires back, checking on the salmon in the pan.
“I’m sure they won’t mind watching women in underwear or something similar.” You smile, watching as he nods with his head and sips on his wine too.
“I’m sure of that too.”
He resumes cooking while you finish your first glass of wine, already in for your second. You set the table, turning the TV on for Bella— she likes watching TV sometimes, and that’s fine!— before sitting down to eat Quinn’s tasty-looking meal. After you got your first bite of the salmon, you couldn’t help but moan.
“I didn’t know you knew how to actually cook, Quinn Hughes,” you say, chewing on the fish. “When did you even learn that?”
“I’m a grown man now, Maddie,” he laughed and you rolled your eyes at him.
“Like that means anything. I know Ellen would cook for you everyday if you asked her to.”
“Yeah, but I’m not around her so much anymore, so I just figured out it’d be good for me to know how to take care of myself. And turns out I really like cooking.”
“This is heavenly, thank you so much,” you sip on your wine as the same time he sips on his, smiling because you liked his company a lot.
౨ৎ
“AND THEN, Jack asked them to flash him and the worst part is that someone caught that on camera.”
You laughed, letting your body fall forward, feeling lighter than ever. You and Quinn were sitting on your couch, already in your second bottle of wine. Bella was chewing on one of her toys and it was already ten thirty.
Quinn was now wearing just his white, dress shirt with the first two buttons open, his jacket lost somewhere alongside his tie. You couldn’t help but notice how the fabric of the shirt held his muscles in all the right places, getting tighter every time he flexed his muscles.
Quinn was hot, and he had always been in your eyes. He was only twenty-four, almost twenty-five, but he looked older, mature. Something about him being a hockey player, the captain, made you feel confused and hot at the same time.
“Jack girlies must have gone crazy with that video,” you add after you stop laughing, watching as Quinn nods.
“Tell me about it,” he runs his fingers through his silky, somehow hydrated hair, and you find yourself wondering how it’d feel for you to do the same. “It was crazy. But I don’t really get the appeal.”
You scoffed. “You don’t get the appeal? Have you seen you or your brothers?”
He raised an eyebrow at you. “So what? We’re alright, I guess,”
“You’re crazy,” you roll your eyes at him, incredulous. “I spent my teenage years ignoring guys because you ruined all of them for me and you’re saying you’re just alright?”
He chuckles, turning his head around and staring at you, blue eyes darkening.
“What do you mean by that, Madison?”
Maybe it was the fact that it was already late at night and you were tired, or maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe the fact that the last time you had had sex with someone had been more than six months ago, but something about the way Quinn asked you that question, calling you by your name out of all things, made you wonder.
You were both grown up now. You weren’t fifteen anymore, innocent and afraid of voicing your needs. And Quinn looks like he knows how to make a woman see stars…
Besides what they say about big noses, you caught yourself thinking, before you could even stop yourself.
Crossing your legs and unconsciously squeezing your thighs together, you answered, softly:
“It’s silly,” you bit your lip, unsure of what you would even say. This is definitely the wine’s fault. “I had a crush on you growing up.”
You expected him to laugh and play it off, like he used to do whenever Jack or Luke mentioned that one of their girl friends had a crush on their older brother, Quinn. You expected him to give you that brotherly look he used to give you when you were younger and asked him questions about his life and family.
But the look he gave you had something different, something rawer. Something that made your skin crawl in the best way possible, that lightened something inside you.
“Did you now?”
“Mhm,” you nod with your head. “That’s why I’ve never had any boyfriends or hook-ups, even after you left. You ruined them all for me.” You wanted it to sound like a joke, but it hadn’t. How could it, when you were telling the truth.
“Should I apologize, Maddie?” He manspreads on your couch, and you let your gaze fall on his thighs for a brief second— just not brief enough for him not to notice.
“No, it’s— it’s fine. I’m not fifteen anymore.”
“I can see that,” he whispers, and you can feel yourself slipping into his little trap, slowly.
You were so fucked. Ultimately, stupidly fucked, and not even in the way you wanted to. After all these years of swearing to yourself that Quinn wasn’t meant for you, and that you wouldn’t see him again with lovey eyes anymore, you couldn’t believe the reactions your body was having to just his words and stares. This isn’t normal.
You needed to do something because— you will not fuck this up again. Quinn’s friendship’s too precious for you to ruin it with horny thoughts.
So what if Quinn looked like he could fuck you six ways to Sunday? He was your friend. It hadn’t even been a month since he got back in your life.
“Yeah, but I’m over it now,” you brushed it off, making a pft sound with your mouth. “Grew up and all of that.”
He takes a while to answer, but when he does, you can feel he wants to say something else.
“Got it.”
After that, the tension between the two of you is almost ten times bigger, and you have to stop your brain from blaming yourself. Whatever happened between you and Quinn seconds ago could never happen again. He was your friend.
“Think I’m gonna go now,” he says, getting up. Bella runs to his body, licking his hands and asking for pets. “Hey, baby girl. I’m going home now.”
“You don’t have to,” you suggest, the thought of him leaving because of you making you sick to your stomach. “I have a spare bedroom. You drank, it’s not safe.”
“You’re right, but I’m not drunk and I’ll drive slowly, I promise,” he smiles, leaning down to give you a peck on your forehead. “Great to see you.”
“Drive safe, please,” You watched him leave with Bella by your side, heart squeezed tightly inside your chest. “Text me when you get home.”
“Will do it.” He answers, before putting on his jacket again, grabbing his suitcase and closing the door of your apartment.
And just like that, you had to spend the night trying to convince yourself that you did the right thing by pushing whatever that was away.
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