#and in a way im afraid im falling behind or missing out cuz i lack a strong friendgroup to fuck around w

[8cfc00]

im literally going to throw up im sooooo mad i never got to trick or treat OR sleepover OR play dnd in all SIXTEEN YEARS OF MY FUCKING LIFE..... im supposed to be a TEENAGER doing TEENAGE THINGS but for some reason i CANT

[colorseeingchick]

Hey Can I ask for a self ship date pls ? I’m a 18yo girl who is 173 cm of chaos and my heart has been stolen by Kise Ryouta from KNB 😩.

We may be very different, he’s more of a warm and a social person while i’m cold in the clouds and ambiverted but his smile, his laugh and how he’s dedicated in basketball made me lose it. I find his whole personality interesting even the more cold and ugly parts of him and he has the pretty face for him too but i’m not the kind of person who can just fall for apparence. He have such a voice too 😳 He has that charming aura, playful but yet still lighthearted and funny. He being two-faced surprisingly don’t bother me that much somehow i understand from where hes coming from. I relate a lot to his overachiever and need to handle all things himself to the point of hurting. As a basketb fan i am also enamored w his way of playing, i gen think he is the best of gom he always do his best to the point of barely breathing and honestly i relate to this too when im into something i love. His quick learning abilities are hyper and i like how Kise try to be honest w himself. I like also the balance he have w masculine and feminine energy and don’t mind him being a dork. His relationship w others characters are gold too like w Aomine and i can see him showing me affection to my touch starved self and just general affection i lack in general even if i don’t say it. Also i can imagine a certain dynamic between us where no one is the lead of the couple but we’re on equal terms.

Now more about me i am an ENTP 8w7, I am independent, creative, honest, prideful and « generous » i don’t think that last one much but my close one describe me like this. I’m very curious, likes experimenting and new things. I am funny/sarcastic, playful and as it iam very memeable but surprisingly top student here who doesn’t behave like it at all both in class and just in general. My aesthetic is a weird mix of everything i love so i am both a tomboy, alt and a baddie somehow. I am into law and economics studies and can talk french, korean and spanish as i learn languages in my free time by myself. I do read, write, draw and listen to music, play all sort of games including sports, get on a walk from time to time, eat cuz food is delicious and just learn in general. I have kind of ✨trust issues ✨so i don’t have many friends. But you sure will have fun w me ! I don’t about chill i have some temper but sure im pretty cool and open minded ! In love i really am a mess, i’m easily flustered but act cool to hide it and because of that i look like someone confident and mysterious except i am not the first one and ugh im lowkey a tsundere so it’s difficult to assume my feelings. But i swear i try !

Thank you for reading me ! I hope i didn’t bother you much.

You didn't bother me at all hun! This was a lot of fun to write so I hope you enjoy :) I think I have a pretty fun date planned for you two if I do say so myself hehe.

Premise: Kise got to know you throughout high school, and saw you as different from his other fangirls. Even though it wasn’t basketball, you also stood out at the top of your class, making you noticeable to Kise. You were actually a good friend (a cute friend at that) and he decided that he wanted to take you on a date during your 3rd year (once the basketball season was over and he had time to make for you). Knowing how fun you are, he had the perfect plan.

As you look into the mirror to examine your outfit, your phone buzzes with the “I’m hereeee ;)” text. You’d decided to lean into your tomboy vibes, given that Kise told you to ‘get ready to do stuff,’ which was not very informative, but exciting nonetheless.

As you walk out, you’re greeted by the blonde man dressed handsome as ever, a dark long sleeve shirt with fitting jeans, his silver hoop shining as the sun starts to set.

“Ready Y/N-chi?” He asks you, smiling as he overdramatically offers his hand for you to grab.

“Ready as ever~” you say as you grab his hand. He pulls you close and winks, flustering you right from the start.

“If I remember correctly, you said something about this being the best date I ever go on?” You take your chance to poke fun at him as well.

“Oh honey, it will be.” You can see the way his eyes shine and his mischievous grin as he walks with a nice hop in his step, guiding you towards the train station.

The train ride was pleasant, his hands protectively on your shoulder and a mean glare on his pretty features when other men looked at you or got too close, but his face was calm as he comfortably bantered with you (you on the other hand were quite unbothered by it all). Once you finally arrived at your destination, you found yourself in the lively district of the city, flooded with restaurants and shops all open late night.

“I forgot how beautiful this area is at night!” You can’t help but say as you look at all the beautiful lights and architecture.

“I had to take a pretty girl to a pretty place, you know?” He squeezes your hand as he drags you along once again, until you end up at your destination.

“I think this’ll be a lot of fun,” he says to you as he pushes open the doors to the arcade, letting all the dark lights and glowing games illuminate your sight.

He buys the coins for you both to play (He’d asked prior if it’d be okay for him to pay for you this date, and you’d agreed), and you set off to play all sorts of games.

It was a lot of fun for the both of you. While the games were enjoyable, playing them with him made it all the better. He also never missed an opportunity to flirt with you, and playing games made it easy. Both of you being overachievers, with Kise being a quick learner and you being open to trying new things made the experience amazing.

“Here, stand like this and loosen your wrists up for a better shot.” you both were playing the basketball game, and to no surprise Kise had absolutely killed it. Now here he is, helping adjust your shot. Standing behind you, he lightly adjusts your waist, turning you a little bit to help your footing. His hands then move up to your shoulders, then down to your wrists, helping guide your form and placement on the ball. While you were learning from him, it was hard to focus with him this close to you. “Y/N-chi, you can focus on me later. You should focus on your shot for now.” He says lowly, teasingly, watching carefully as your face erupts into red. He really did love teasing you, the usually calm, collected, confident top student.

Admittedly, you feel like you got back at him when you watch him try the crane game (the ones filled with stuffed animals) and he couldn’t get it after 7 tries. The frustration was clear in his face, his impatience rising.

“This game is rigged, I know it!”

You ask to try and of course he complies. However, he’s not ready for you to get a cute little stuffed panda on your first try. Suddenly, he’s a lot more embarrassed than you were earlier.

“You definitely used magic or something.” His pout is both adorable and hilarious to you.

You laugh as you hand him the panda. “Here!”

Looking down at the panda and then looking back up at you, he asks, “for me? But you won it!”

“But I want you to have it. It’s cute like you, Kise-kun.”

A huge smile crosses his face as he pulls you into a hug, spinning you around. “Y/n-chi!!!! You’re so generous!! Giving me your stuffed panda~ I’ll take good care of it.”

You have a nice laugh as you watch Kise end the night out by playing Dance Dance Revolution, not afraid to be a bit flamboyant as he goes all out with the footwork and does really well at the game.

After collecting all your tickets, Kise takes you up to the rewards table, telling you that he knows exactly what he wants to get.

“And we have enough tickets for it! Great.”

You can’t help but smile when Kise points to the GIANT stuffed panda hanging on the wall.

“I thought you weren’t the type to return favors,” you recall what he said during a game with Seirin from a long while back.

He blushes, thinking about what he said. “I’m not, just one upping you,” he jokes, sticking his tongue out at you, letting you nudge him in return.

“Do you wanna get food, Y/N-chi?” He asks, his arm wrapped around your shoulder.

“Sure, from where?”

“You decide. I decided on the arcade, you can decide dinner.” He looks at you with a smile, thinking back on how fun the whole night had been. “But I get to decide dinner next time.”

“Next time?” You shoot back, eyebrows raised, a smile forming on your face. “Who said I’d go out with you a next time?”

At your comment, his smile falters as he stares at you for a good second. He gets all serious suddenly, pulling you close (with a giant panda pressed into your side) and making you look into his eyes. “Y/N-chi, would you please go out with me again? Tell me you will!”

Giggling, you smile up at him. “Of course, Kise-kun.”

He sighs out and hums in approval, before pressing a small kiss onto your cheek. “Call me Ryouta.”

~~

Ahhh I hope you enjoyed it! I tried to incorporate as many elements as I could! Please do let me know what you think <3 this was so fun!!!!

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

alright well i work best under pressure so given that i now have an hour and 20 minutes before i start a voice call with someone i think it’s the perfect time to do that one video analysis so i can actually start finishing up that maya post... man i really should’ve pumped that shit out earlier, but i kept procrastinating until we got new info. then more new info. and i mean we DO have lots of new updated info, bc i have a whole thing in there about Punk girl i gotta edit out now lmao

anyway

Zane Flynt? this trailer killed me, it’s the only thing i’ve watched all day. like. on repeat.

ive said it before and ill say it again, 3 months ago i call zane attractive on reddit and get ridiculed but then we find out he’s an irish bastard and everyone jumps on the fuck train

anyway

elpis is looking good and not explody/teleporty, so that’s always a good sign

so the locale plus the twang immediately had me thinking of lynchwood but that’s not right

the bar itself looks a lot like that mine area we see, so i’d be willing to guess it’s nearby, you know, if it’s an area in the game at all lmao

like the windows are similar plus the wood

the bar itself is giving me some mixed signals here, but im gonna bet it was taken over by the CoV from the crimson raiders (recruitment banner, but then the CoV logo is on the wall/screen over there)

That, plus the rose on the counter next to Zane seems sus

another mine looking building in the back

also lmao

it’s time to enter the BONEEEE ZONNEEE

no more DAHL dumpsters? F

okay this area looks super familiar

that plus the varkids, this is 100% the same place as this

which is interesting

looks like Zane’s been hanging out on Pandora for a while... kinda upset we didn’t hear about his brothers at all in this trailer, but it was still fuckin hilarious and well worth the wait

those canisters? vats? look like the ones near the burger launcher vid hang on

also some in the back here

so yeah more than likely the same area

also

`lines up the perfect shot`

`completely missed both shots`

lovey, bravo, champagne, sloooow clap

anyway i’d wager this is an old dahl mining camp? probably mining for iridium

you can see the 

conveyor belt thingie here

and also all the minecarts and rails are very reminiscent of the caustic caverns

which probably would have dropped iridium into the vat below it, if said vat wasn’t tipped over onto its side

more shots of the building he’s in

closeup of the rails. which, weird as it sounds, is really great to see because sometimes in bl2 and even tps when you got super close up to a texture, it wouldn’t look too hot, even on the best settings. the textures in 3 are so CRISP i love them

varkid 🤮 i hate bugs. model looks fantastic tho! i just... hate bugs

see the camera is flipped upside down, so miles this cultist is not falling, he’s rising- he’s being lifted up

how nice

im getting percy jackson flashbacks here. this is 100% how clarisse shoved percy into the toilet, right?

with the way the cultist isn’t even trying to get out im afraid zane just shoved a corpse into the dook hut. i mean all the power to ya, man

he’s stuck

also

this building in the back is new

i won’t say it

you know what im thinking

i won’t say it

i promise

~smile~

there’s also what i think is a smiley face sticker on the wall to his right

water physics lookin fine 👌

also the way zane jumps back. bonelesspotter i know you read these, are you picking up what i’m putting down?

MAGIC CUP MAGIC CUP ALL HAIL

see the lack of drink is supposed to parallel hi s lack of companio- im sorry hahahaaha i can’t do this

rose. it’s a SIGN

there’s so much going on in the background here lemme just

im sitting here like >:( because i know i’ve seen that type of wall before and for the life of me can’t remember where

my brain is screaming sanctuary

the actual middle piece looks super familiar

is that what they attach the out of bounds turrets to? possibly.

this bit

also it looks like there’s a dam or something in the back back?

tbh im a lot more interested in the skyway all the way at the top, it reminds me a lot of bloodshot ramparts

cuz it also used to be a skyway

also zane is doing his pose for the main menu screen of the game

and i would say it’s possible this could’ve been the main menu, but the cliff is different, and there’s supposed to be a boxcar/shipping crate on the right (as when u go to options it moves over to it)

more vats! what is the deal with this mine? why is it featured so heavily in this video gearbox tell me your s e c r e t s

you’d think, with zane being the one who’s been around the proverbial block over his years, he’d be on multiple planets throughout his entire trailer. but like 80% of it is pandora. maybe the other VHs are getting featured on other planets? at least he has a reason to be on pandora outside of the main story (maybe looking for his brothers, maybe trying to piss on their graves, who knows)

i don’t know what he’s reaching for but uh

perhapeth the blades are activated by swinging his arm out? could be a hold over from when they were like... actual metal blades and needed to be knocked out into position

i love that he returns the wave after shoving this guy off the cliff

it’s not like he can see you man

go off i guess though

some bar on eden-6 (finally! a new planet!) also i like that the theme here is zane getting into fights in bars. good shit boys

get wrecked kid

i really like the design of this building. i love the windows. maybe part of jakobs manor? looks like maybe it’s a greenhouse or smth given it’s in this garden/courtyard area

which should look somewhat familiar

looks very similar to this area, but it doesn’t look like there’s a building on the left in this shot. maybe they added it in for the trailer 🤷‍♂️

the trees behind the big one (and next to the iron wrought fence) match up perfectly tho

i just really like this shot ngl

i love these fuckign expressions i cant

Friend

okay im sorry here’s a smiley boy

the facial animations are so fucking good this time around

that is all i am doing.

just appreciating the new animations.

SOMEONE HELP THIS TINY MAN HE’S TRAPPED IN A SQUARE

fuck dude we didn’t deserve this man

MAGIC CUP MAGIC CUP ALL HAIL

seriously tho, the glass is gone. idk where it went. im just gonna pretend he was practicing that one iconic Kingsman scene while talking to himself and providing us with flashbacks

manners.

maketh.

man.

also this is my new favorite reaction image

it’s ‘perfect in every way’

you want more booze?

what are your thoughts on the new guns?

where’d you hide the body?

(it’s in the dumpster)

also unlike the magic cup

the rose is still here

Cultist coming to see why the windows of their bar are glowing neon yellow and blue im sure

>shit

it’s cool to know the clone can actually emote

given in the So Happy Together it was basically an expressionless blue demon

still no cup. all hail

some more CoV graffiti!

boops

i am sad we didn’t get to see zoomer in this video at all

zoomer is cute

i like zoomer

anyway

that’s all for the trailer folks

i love the implication that he’s just sitting in this empty CoV bar, talking to himself, waiting for someone to notice and come confront him so he can kick their asses.

anyway this post 100% wasn’t an excuse to rewatch the entire trailer frame by frame or anything

maya post coming soon! wahoo

also i have 10 minutes left lmao nice

[thataveragewriter]

Hello, I will please like to as for a request if its not a bother,Hanzo a fem s\o, she is a trainee in overwatch and she wants to join, due to that she has to fight against hanzo cause he is one of the best fighters, but everyone readers loses of course, and hanzo feels bad for her, but he can't let her win because Jack will know if he is doing it, han starts falling for reader but she actually starts "hating him" because she can't win, then Hanzo tries to give her some flowers or m... (1\2)

A/N : right, I will forever apologize for the lateness of everything! But its finished! well kind of, This will be a two-part series cuz its long and … yeah! Also I'm terrible with fight scenes, forgive me T_T wait for the next part, which will be possibly done soon…. :’)

Hanzo x reader - fight me

Being a new recruit was never easy. You were treated as the underling from the lack of experience you had, much unlike your peers who seem to come from a military background. With only sports as your background experience, you went through more rigorous training than the other trainees. You wished to show your supervisors, in this case, was the head of overwatch Jack Morrison, that you were more than a pretty face. Spending numerous hours in the training suit, you managed to work yourself to death trying to develop your physical strength with sheer fortitude.

“Agent [l/n], you’ve exceeded your latest physical combat and endurance examination with an impeccable score. It is most impressive, good work soldier” The older male said, his lips formed a small smile of approval.

“Thank you, sir” you said as you tried to contain your heavy breathing. The firm gaze the Commander had on you was intimidating yet you did not wither under his scrutiny.

“However, in order to truly improve yourself and rank up, you must be faced with a more advanced opponent” Jack continued. You wondered whether the commander himself would spare with you, though it was a daunting task. You cocked your head in confusion, silently prompting him to continue. The commander chuckled lightly at your uncertain look.

“I’m assigning you to work with Hanzo Shimada from the recon squad. His skill is admirable in both combat and on the battlefield, so I feel you will greatly benefit from this, agent” Jack said as he placed a hand on your shoulder as a sign of reassurance.

“I…yes sir, thank you for this opportunity!” You say, a little too loud and excitedly. The other trainees look in your direction and you cower a little from the attention. An embarrassed blush forms as you fidget.

“Tomorrow at 0700 sharp, come to the training grounds and I will introduce you.”

“Don’t take it easy yet Agent, I assure you Hanzo will not be an easy opponent” The commander chuckled as he walked away, leaving you to soak in his words.

As you watched Jack form disappearing, you heaved a deep sigh you’ve been holding in. You then stretched, feeling your bones crack and ‘pop’ in certain joints released the built-up tension you’ve been building up.

‘Mann, I just wanna rest all week, my bones are gonna break any day’  you thought as you let out another sigh then headed back to your room for a shower. The day went on without another hitch. A couple of scouting lessons and then dinner.

Your mind wandered to the oncoming task, you realised you haven’t once met the mentioned male. Sure, you’ve heard of Hanzo, a renowned archer for his unprecedented skill with the bow, and how he caused a form of anxiety amongst the trainees due to his background and impressive status. Though you have yet to meet the man in question, it didn’t deter your determination as you had confidence in your combating skills.

It was evening, in time for dinner. You were a naturally reserved individual yet you made acquaintances with a couple of members from the other squads. Swiftly, you finished your dinner and decided to head back to your bedroom.

After a while of wandering through the white pristine halls, your anxious mind kept thinking of the possible outcomes tomorrow. With a sigh, you headed out toward the garden, behind the building. Stepping out into the cool air of the night, you felt revitalised from the comforting cold breeze.

“it is a fine night, would you not agree?” A voice said behind you, catching you off guard. You yelped a little as you flinched at the sudden voice. You turn, coming face to face with the owner of the voice. A hint of a smile was present on the male’s features.

“My apologies for my unannounced presence” The male said. You glanced up, taking in his unusual choice of clothing yet admired his silky locks and intricate sleeve of tattoo that covered his arm and chest.

“I-It’s no problem, I was just  …a little surprised that’s all” you nervously chuckled. The male cracked a small smile as he looked over your figure. You felt small under his gaze, you looked away and out at the sky.

Unbeknownst to you, Hanzo found you ethereal in the moonlight. He couldn’t help himself when he began approaching you from behind, his heart seems to have controlled his movements when he found himself speaking to you. Watching you flinch, caused a warm swelling in his usual cold being, you were causing a mystical change to the older Shimada.

“Sorry, I don’t think I introduced myself. I’m [y/n] [l/n]” you smiled as you stretched your hand out toward the male. He gladly accepted with a hint of a smile. His firm grip caused excited flutters in your

“It’s a pleasure [y/n]. I’m afraid I must take my leave. I am certain faith will make our paths cross once more in the near future” the taller Asian male said, his accent noticeable and soothing.

Before you could interject, the unnamed male took his leave. You felt a little foolish for not getting the handsome Asians name and mentally scolded yourself.

‘What the heck [y/n]??! You didn’t even get his name, you fool!” you screamed in your head, your hands tangled in your hair in frustration.

With a sigh, you calmed yourself down and headed to your room, getting ready for tomorrows task.

Hanzo’s POV.

Hanzo left you outside with a feeling of minimal satisfaction. Earlier, the strike commander approached the archer to request a friendly sparring with another agent, you. Whilst slightly reluctant he still accepted the proposal given by Jack. Jack had mentioned you were easily climbing your way up the ranks with your combat and intellectual skills and Hanzo wanted to get a first-hand impression of the so-called ‘advanced trainee’.  

The Japanese male was meditating in his room, mentally preparing for tomorrow’s sparring when thoughts of you entered his once calm mind. After he saw you, his heart began hammering at an alarming rate, severely confusing the male. Emotions like these were never enticed before and this was an odd sensation he welcomed.

With a ‘tut’, a sly smirk began forming at the corners of his firm lips as he remembered what he had told you.

“Our paths will certainly cross more than once, my dear [y/n]” he said to himself, a humorless chuckle followed.

Time Skip

—

The day had arrived of the fated combat. Despite it being labeled as ‘friendly sparring against talented agents’ you took it much more personal. The strike commander himself was testing your abilities and if you won, you were promised an advancement in your ranks.

The passing of breakfast and an early morning run was quick and you left for the training room, where a number of trainees gathered along with Jack. As you opened the door, all eyes immediately shifter toward your approaching form. The golden commander looked back and greeted you.

“Morning agent, glad to see you didn’t chicken out” Morrison chuckled, his eyes glinting with anticipation for the days’ event.

“This is my only opportunity to prove myself, of course, I wouldn’t flee that easily” you say with a grin, excitement and adrenaline filling your veins.

A sly grin makes its appearance on his face as he commends you for your determined attitude.

“Now then, just to wait- never mind he’s here” Jack began before being interrupted by the door once more. Everyone including you turned toward the door to see your opponent.

In that instant, you felt your heart flip in a million different directions. The same attractive male from yesterday! A flaming blush began forming as you gaped at the sight of him.

“I-it’s… You!” you yelled accusingly as you pointed at the figure.

“Did I not tell you, our paths would cross sooner than you anticipated” He said, a hint of smugness noticeable in his words.

“Well, I sense some familiarity here, but let me give a proper introduction. [y/n], this is Hanzo Shimada, a respectable archer from the Shimada clan located in Hanamura, Japan. Hanzo, this is –“Before the commander could finish, Hanzo interjected.

“I am familiar with agent [y/n] [l/n], thank you” He said, a monotonous manner.

You rolled your eyes at his manner, despite his handsome looks, his smug demeanor seemed to irritate you.

“Let get this over with!” you say, a little too loud for your own liking. Both Hanzo and Jack looked at you.

A smile formed on the commander’s lips as he clapped to get everyone’s attention.

“Ya heard the girl, get to positions!” with an authoritative voice, everyone moved aside and let you and Hanzo in the middle of the room.

Your intent gaze met the dark pairs of Hanzo’s soulful eyes.

“I will not take it easy on you, dear [y/n]” Hanzo spoke to you, a slight smile visible.

“I wouldn’t wish for it” you smirk and stand in position.

Jack stood between you two, to commence the fight.

“Ready? Start!” with that, you launched yourself at the male.

You began with a solid punch toward his handsome face. In a swift manner, his hand countered your punch. Then in a split second, you retrieve your hand and move out the way for his oncoming blow. You missed his leg trying to swipe under you and fell with a thud. With a groan look up and see Hanzo’s fist coming to strike you for which you fluidly grab it and pull him close enough to head-but the smug male. You took advantage of his dazed state, as you grabbed his arm and attempted to twist it behind his back. It was as if he snapped back to reality and foresaw your endeavor. Hanzo lifted his leg and with full force drove it in your gut. You staggered back, coughing in the process. Before you knew it, you were being held down by the more experienced Japanese male. You struggled against his hold but that only prompted him to further drive to dig you into the ground with his weight and grasp tightening on your arm.

“That’s enough Hanzo” upon hearing that, Hanzo promptly got off you. You got up, refusing his outstretched arm and glared at him.

You stood aback from Hanzo and watched with fire in your eyes. How could you let him win?!

“It was a fair fight but seemed like Hanzo had the upper hand” Jack concluded.

Hanzo watched your glare with apologetic eyes. He felt a tinge of regret and frustration, he must’ve hurt you in the process he thought. But, he couldn’t help but admire the way you held your form in battle. With such grace and force, you were an ideal partner for both sparrings and on the battlefield. A warmth had spread through his being as he watched you squirm beneath him, filling his mind with indecent thoughts.

“Looks like you’ve got a bit to work on there agent [y/n]” Jack said before telling the other trainees to go for their next session. Jack left with the others, leaving you alone with Hanzo.

“I apologize if I have caused you any discomfort [y/n]” He said sincerely, with no trace of mocking.

You scoffed and walked away.

“You’re obviously a much better fighter than me, there’s no need for such familiarity” you spoke coldly.

“But [y/n], I wish to indulge in a mutual friendship with you, if you would allow” He pleaded for you to give him a chance. 

You were being slightly unreasonably cold to the male for winning against you, yet this was the only obstacle in your way of further advancing in the next ranks. However, it was an order from the commander for which he could not disobey, nor would you have been satisfied if he was to purposely lose against you. It was a rather uncomfortable predicament you’ve landed into.

“I wish to be nothing more than opponents, agent Shimada. So… please don’t try to incite something more” you softly trailed away, feeling disappointed in yourself and looking toward the ground for some form of comfort.

You waited a moment, hoping for him to try and stop you again. The air was filled with a tense silence. You sighed and left the room with more on your mind than disappointment and frustration.

Hanzo stood there and watched your retrieving form disappear through the doors. He had noticed the change in your demeanor yet he kept it to himself. He saw the feeling of dismay took over you as your head hung low and your feet lightly dragging on the ground as you left. Hanzo clutched his chest as it felt like his heart dropped at that moment. He cursed himself for doing this, though he was not given a choice.

‘This cannot go on. I must make amends with [y/n], perhaps then will I feel at ease’

He needed you to acknowledge his regret and these mysterious build-ups of emotions he had not experienced before. He wished to experience them with you and you only. Hanzo pledged to himself gain your trust and perhaps something more along the way. 

.

[pokefanbri]

I wish i could hold a conference with all my exes in it 🤣 & be like..

Look, yall are great..some of u bastards fucked my shit up, some of u were really great, 1 I married, & others both great & an asshole lol. But I love or loved every one of u fuckin idiots.

All 5 of you ill never forget. But im a long term relationship kind of girl, I need someone permanently, has their shit together & priorities straight including me as 1 of those priorities. Someone as pure intention & with a heart of gold as I. If u cant love me for me or at my best, that im not good enough for your high standards or raised bar I cant reach cuz im a shortshit lol, then I dont have time for a scummy dbag 🤷‍♀️ Its hard enough to find a great girl like me as it is within that trail of broken hearts behind u.

I need someone with a good head on their shoulders & knows their shit just as I do. Both parties can provide in more ways than 1 in a relationship. I can take care of a man as long as its the same in reverse, embrace all of me as I am and I the same. Ive only fucked up 2 of my relationships myself, the rest falls on the guys & u fucked it up too, but its usually never me & im the 1 breaking up with yall 9/10 😂 cuz sometimes it doesn't go anywhere & some of yall moochers when i live under my own roof don't lie lol. At least 4 ive been madly in love with, including the recent one. 2 of those 4 broke up with me cause of whatever tf they're dealing with. Based on the pattern the next guy will probably be after another 5 yr dry spell again who knows.

This is what im looking for in reality. Im fucking tired, stressed, im 30. I want to settle down, have kids! 5-10 yrs from now itll be too hard to conceive, 20 yrs from now i won't be able to. At 30 i want my 1st child to be 20 when im 50 lol not 10 when im 50 yo wtf lol. I cant adopt, & i cant parent on my own. A couple of u wanted that too, even to pass down your blood line & heritage..its what I also want.

🔥My husband has moved on, theres no going back as far as im aware. I messed that up real bad choosing someone over him...& i didn't originally want to in the 1st place. But cause of that decision I got to see more of the world & went out of my comfort zone..i wouldn't ever take that back cause regardless of how things played out, i don't regret it as it was 1 of the best relationships i ever had even if he doesn't think so 😘 Im confident he misses me too in some way. Love u darlin always ❤ And I really do thank u & am truly grateful for the time we shared...but becoming a "better man" falls on u big guy, nobody else. Unless u are to help a girl in the same way..better eachother, srry but its true. U wanna be better then it involves advice & criticism, which is what most of this blog & my 2nd insta is about...listen closely. And don't be using that song to lure in empathic women on purpose, boi its retarded unless u really do mean well. And a relationship isn't just about u, u know this... u have to be smart enough to realize this..its common sense. And im sorry u "lost interest" in our short time without experiencing the relationship to the fullest & b4 really getting to know my true outgoing self. U held yourself back the whole time...idk if you're afraid of not being close due to something ur dealing with..but it's beneath u, & u have alot to learn. Look at the positives of our relationship instead of dwelling on the negatives. We had so much chemistry, but if u actually do only see a girls beauty on the surface, instead of seeing it within them & yourself then it surely lacks & needs to be worked on. If so knock it off bro lol. U liked it when I cleaned up good anyway & straightening my hair "like barbie doll" so wtf lol, i am pretty so f u if u think i wasnt lol🔥

Look I Always put people 1st b4 myself, i care way too much, but yall have done me wrong in some way & im absolutely sick of it. U want a girlfriend like when u were younger, & play the field then fine. But unlike u most girls don't wanna play, they want someone that'll stay 🎤

Whether its 1 of u previous dummies sparking it up again cuz yea it happens, or a new guy. This is for u & i give my word & accept u to whoever my babe will be. From a guys pov but still means the same.

Believe it

https://youtu.be/cttSIwQ2TI4

[skymade]

Willow Gone

   A drabble from Willow’s best friend, Eryk’s, point of view. It’s long, I’m sorry. These are the texts pertaining to this. 

   “Errie, how about today?”

   Eryk is lain across their bed, staring at the prune colored ceiling for the five-millionth morning in a row -- or so it feels. Little appears to be able to rouse them from their state.

   Their mother, aquamarine with cavernous holes littering her face -- a Meldonian -- stands at the doorway. Her tight, bright green hair curls with the consistency of seaweed fall from the crown of her head. They are the same curls that pull at Eryk’s own blue head. Her mouth is nothing but a large slit in the center of her face, but Eryk can understand both her question and the implications deep beyond it.

   They do not answer. Normally, Eryk’s love for their mother overrides all else, but now their love for someone else holds them, like chains, in their bed.

   “We love you, Errie,” she says, for the five-millionth morning in a row, circular fins with holes reaching towards them. Her voice always sounds as if it comes from deep underwater. “Whenever you're ready, you know. Seconds will wait for you.” She touches them, once, on the leg, then retreats. The door clicks behind her gently.

   Eryk closes their eyes and sees her. Not the mother they love -- their best friend. Dark curls, murky eyes, bright purple skin -- one of many things she was mocked for. Willow sky. She was their best friend, from the moment they met to the moment their mother told them she was gone.

   In a flash, Eryk can see their entire friendship. The moment she, in a flurry of curls and laughs, sat down next to them during lunch, introducing herself though uninvited. Trekking the mountains of Amyr, them wheezing and her laughing. Her splashing purple water at them and sticking out her tongue when they protested. Her hanging upside down in their hiding place, the storage unit, singing out of tune and changing the lyrics to fit her mood. The last time they saw her -- late at night, under the velvet sky, with stars sprinkling above them, her winking playfully at their gaze.

   Their eyes shut tightly at the images. Each memory is another chain that drags them down to their bed, leading with the terrifying crash of the moment Eryk woke up and saw their mother there. Their mother had never been allowed for extended stay upon planet -- Amyr rules -- and instantly, Eryk had felt sick.

   Dad’s dead, was Eryk’s first thought. I did something wrong. I failed my tests for Seconds. Mother is dying.

   But they had never expected the words that had come from their mother’s mouth, starting simply and gently.

   “Errie… when was the last time you saw Willow?”

   She was gone.

   Eryk presses their hands against their eyelids. Why hadn’t they told anyone when they saw the bruises on Willow’s skin? Why hadn’t they reported their fear for her life? Why didn’t they try harder? What if she were dead, as dead as her mother must be? And the most terrifying thought of all: What if she went off to Travel?

   She wouldn’t be able to survive. Not for a minute. Willow would have no idea what she’s doing. Though all evidence leads to her being upon another planet -- the loss of her mother’s tokens -- Eryk has been stubbornly refusing to believe it.

   Even with the possibility of her escaping with Tallow -- what her father currently believes -- Tallow can not care for Willow. What if he abandons her? What if he hurts her? What if she feels trapped?

   These thoughts have been circling in Eryk’s head for the eons it feels she’s been gone, but they haven’t abated, yet. Every day, Eryk wakes up to hear them repeat in perfect clarity.

   They’re sure they’re going insane.

   Eryk’s communicator chirps next to them. They never get messages. Curiosity wins over depression for the moment. They reach up, grabbing it off of the ivory table, and flip out the keyboard, making the screen light up.

   the will of the sky. (in range) 1 NEW MESSAGE.

   Eryk cannot stop the tears that immediately pour through their eyes as they select the message, quickly, shakily. They have always had what Willow called bleeding eyes, but they were sure the Terran expression was bleeding heart. And now, they are choking on it.

   It is a message from Willow.

   trvling mkes me ocean sick T_T ;-; ;(

   The words are so uniquely Willow -- down to the very last mark (or lack thereof) that Eryk begins sobbing harder.

   In a perfect world, they’d take time to control themselves. They’d wait until the feelings abated and let them breathe to reply. But they have not seen the words “in range” next to Willow’s name for a long time, so long they are afraid if they don’t reply immediately, she will disappear.

   Fuck you

   It’s all they can think to say.

   The response is so fast. 

   aw!! ;( dont b meeeeeeeean!!!

   Eryk is attempting to type a response, when another of Willow’s comes.

   i knw. i knw.

   Willow never left spell check on. Most Amyra didn’t. It came with switching languages -- it was easier to just type without having to change languages each time they wished to.

   Eryk closes their eyes, pushes their head towards the screen. Willow hardly types as… seriously… as her last message was.

   Eryk stares at the small, purple picture of Willow next to each message -- heart-shaped sunglasses, smiling at someone off-camera. Eryk took that picture for her. Eryk can still taste the air from that day, can still feel the grass beneath them. Of course, she’d taken the picture of the smoke that Eryk had always used as their picture. How many times had Eryk seen a message from Willow? Thousands. Millions. Almost constantly. Willow almost never stopped texting. But this message... these words... had such a new weight to them. 

   They hardly think as they reply.

   Where are you

   Because, of course, Eryk has to come get them. They’re already thinking to ask if they can borrow their mother’s ship when Willow replies, lightning fast as ever.

   u knw y i cnt tell u that ;C

   Just like you didnt tell me you were leaving, Eryk’s hands answer for them. They almost put a question mark -- they normally don’t because they feel it leaves the statement too hard -- but they choose not to in the last instance.

   u knw y i had 2 do that 2.

   Maybe I dont Willow, they reply. After hitting send, they add on in a new message, If you wanted to run away with someone you were dating, thats fine but you still could have told me first.

   Eryk locks the screen, sits up in finality after the period. They brush their hands at their face when another message lights up.

   ?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????? the fck r u tlkin about???!?!?! Im not d8in ny1!!!!!!!!!!! >:(

   Yeah. Like Id know that. Because you keep me so updated with whats going on in your life right

   It feels right, now, to be angry. Eryk hasn’t been angry this entire time. Only scared -- only sad. This feels right.

   At least there is some relief. Willow is not dating Tallow. Hopefully, he is not treating her the way others have treated her here.

   skies i mssgd u cuz i missed u!!!!! >:( >;c wht is ur problm????!!

   My problem is that my best friend left planet without saying anything and is now trying to pretend it isnt a big deal

   i ddnt have to mssg u u knw!!! i culdve stayed quiet!!!!!!!!!!! D:<

   Moments later, she’s back.

   lol… yes i did. ;c of course i hd to mssg u. ur my best friend eryk. still.

   And, in true Willow fashion, she launches into a tirade. They can just see her in their mind -- tongue out, concentration coursing through her body, bent over the screen as her fingers fly.

   mr. doom && gloom is gttin on my fckin nerves. im so done with him. D:<

   Officials think you ran off with Tallow, they reply.

   off. r rite. but only bcuz he hs a staff. eryk the nly reason i ddnt tell u ws bcuz i knw ud rate me out

   She means ‘rat me out’. Eryk feels more tears coming at just reading the words. They are trying to hold on to the good things: she’s alive. Tallow hasn’t abandoned her. She might be okay. They are trying not to think how far away she could still be -- trying not to wonder how close she may be to them for the first time in forever. 

   Holy skies Willow. I missed you

   i miss u 2. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;((((((((((((((((((( emoticons arnt strong enuf :(

   I know what you mean, they type through their tears. They have to move their communicator far away enough to escape the downfall of water.

   When are you coming home, they add.

   There’s a pause.

   ……………………. eryk i cnt come bck 2 amyr. id be put to death for leavin

   Please, they try. Eryk has never been overly selfish before, but they cannot stop it. How can they live without their best friend?

   But when minutes pass and they get no response, they let out a breath of air and say, Are you happy

   its better than being on amyr if thats what you mean lol

   Her grammar improved. That means she had to think deeply about that reply. Eryk hesitates. Maybe she truly needs their help?

   I guess that is what I mean, they try. They don’t know what to say -- she said it was better than on Amyr. Better than when she was with Eryk. Better than when they were close.

   A long pause. Eryk doesn’t know what to say, but, as always, is saved by Willow.

   i hv a confession 2 make

   Okay

   i ddnt mssg u bcuz i missed u. tho i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dnt get me wrong!!!!!!!!! fckin FCK i miss u!!!!!!!! but i mssgd u… 2 say srry. ;C ;C  4 not saying gdbye. :c :c

   Eryk sighs and closes their eyes. Willow has never been very good at saying sorry.

   I dont know if I fully forgive you yet

   i knw. dnt blame u t_t

   They release a soft breath at the emotion -- runs their fingers over the image. If they had more Amyra in them, maybe they’d be blinking in and out from the intense feelings. They close their eyes and pray -- though praying was never something they did before Willow disappeared. Now, however, it seems to highlight their life. Almost every moment is spent in it. Willow believes so avidly in the sky -- it has to save her, doesn’t it? 

   Their phone chirps, calling them back. 

   mr. doom && gloom wnts 2 leave here soon.

   Eryk knows what that means before Willow types it, and immediately responds, Please

   im srry eryk

   Please dont go. Not yet

   pls dnt tell any1 i mssged u

   I wont, they type back, oh skies I wont just promise you wont go

   They will promise anything, now. Tears rolling down their face -- choking on them -- the volume of their sobs rising so much they hear their mother swaying up the stairs, coming to check on them.

   im so srry. i cnt do nythin. gates up. i love you eryk.

   She never types out ‘I love you’. Never. Never. Never.

   I love you too Willow. Please dont leave me

   bye

   “Willow!” They’re screaming at their phone, shaking it. “Willow!”

   Willow come back

   Willow please!

   Their fingers shake as the letters light up on the screen.

   Please please please. I cant do this without you

   WILLOW!

   And then the dreaded three words light up next to Willow’s name -- out of range -- and Eryk collapses as their mother throws open the door and wraps her arms around them.

[grubhivemind]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering invincibleDetective [ID] at 22:35 -- 

PT: hi hello anybody home?

ID: Not currently. But I'm listening. 

ID: I hear Dorian's home.

PT: yeup. 

PT: there was a heartfelt tearful reunion between him sirius sage and myself outside skaianet building today. dope shit.

ID: Does sound dope. 

ID: I'll have to remember to stop by.

PT: yeah thatd be cool! making yourself like physically available to people is pretty dope sometimes too. 

PT: hey speaking of. 

PT: what the fuck my guy?????????

ID: ...I didn't realize we were in a position to be making these particular demands.

PT: THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN!!!

ID: So what do you mean?

PT: i mean!! 

PT: why have you been avoiding me?

ID: I've been attending to my own affairs. 

ID: Same as you. 

ID: If that includes avoiding you, then I guess we really should reevaluate the double standards being put in place. 

ID: But I mean. 

ID: If you're going to let any asshole come in and wreck what you're trying to accomplish, why settle on me?

PT: wow okay. 

PT: urrgghh. 

PT: listen i know i fucked up but its not exactly something i can atone for if we arent gonna be straight with each other. 

PT: you were acting all dodgy even before that.

ID: And you weren't? 

ID: Let's not pretend either of us has a fucking clue when it comes to jumping to decisions. 

ID: Decisions maybe we weren't ready for. 

ID: But that's neither here nor there. 

ID: I can't hold myself responsible for your feelings or decisions. Only my own. 

ID: You know I'm crazy about you.

ID: I don't want to get pulled back into this cycle.

PT: well FUCK neither do i??? 

PT: i dont want you to hold yourself responsible for me. i never wanted that! 

PT: but you do!!!! thats why im like walking around eggshells around you. 

PT: you cant stand watching me fuck myself over because you cant handle how powerless it makes you feel. thats it isnt it???? get a clue!!!!! 

PT: i 👏 dont 👏 care 👏 about 👏 being �� rescued 👏!!! 

PT: IM SICK JACK. so are YOU. and NOBODY can fix us. NOTHING can fix us. 

PT: both our miserable lives are gonna be filled with us fucking up in varying degrees of severity until were lucky enough to finally bite the big one.

ID: That's almost comforting. As if I'm not vividly aware of how everything ends up in the end. 

ID: But if it's all doomed to shit from the beginning, what's the point in trying? 

ID: It sure as hell isn't me you're disappointing. I've had a hard lesson in learning what I'm about. 

ID: And yeah. I'm not about watching you fuck yourself over again. 

ID: All the while, fucking this... relationship over because neither of us are equipped to handle the reality. 

ID: It isn't about getting fixed. It's about managing and coping enough to live another day. 

ID: That's what you should be focusing on. And what I should be helping you with. 

ID: It sucks that I'm not. And it sucks that you wouldn't let me if I tried. 

ID: So again. What's the point?

PT: arrgghh what the fuck??? 

PT: jack im not trying to shut you out!!! that isnt what i mean. 

PT: youve BEEN helping me. ever since i got back youve been nothing but supportive. 

PT: christ i feel awful about relapsing. i know how it looks. 

PT: but youve made a difference. everyones made a difference. 

PT: i fucked up. thats on me. i want to own up to it instead of running away from it like i always used to. im tired of being that way. 

PT: and i definitely dont wanna run away from something good cuz im afraid of breaking it. 

PT: because when im without it i know exactly what im missing out on. and i know its worth holding onto. 

PT: ... jack. can i please just talk to you in person?

ID: Depends. 

ID: Are you sober?

PT: :/

PT: yes.

ID: I'll make it back to the apartment later on today.

PT: alright. ill be around.

JACK: -Some hours later, Jack makes his way back to the apartment. Coming from who knows where, that detail wasn't important. Anger was still burning like acid in his belly, which he thought was better than the exhaustion that was threatening to overcome him. It was so much better than being detached and absent from the conflict.- 

JACK: -Lumbers into the apartment, apprehension tense on his face and his shoulders.-

RYAN: -she's waiting on the couch, clicking through space netflix or whatever mindlessly while she's waiting for jack to show up, failing miserably to keep herself distracted when all the things she wants to say keep running through her frustrated mind. she's alone, since sage is catching up with her previously absentee twin, and when she hears jack come in she jumps a little in her seat.- 

RYAN: -looks over at him, squaring her shoulders.- ... hey.

JACK: I'm home. -states like that's not obvious. Closes the door behind him, channeling more of that apprehension as he continues to hover by the entrance hall.- Now what. 

JACK: Pleasantries?

RYAN: no. -crap... what DOES she say now? there's too much she wants to say, it's impossible to know where to begin.- 

RYAN: ... can i start by saying im sorry?

JACK: Sorry for... -tries to grasp for words for her.- 

JACK: Falling off the bandwagon? Or... 

JACK: -drags a hand down his face.- Being mutually fucking awful at this feelings thing?

RYAN: i mean... 

RYAN: both kinda? 

RYAN: -looks away with a sigh.- im sorry i always keep this shit to myself. 

RYAN: its like i know people are there for me and i know i can reach them if i need to but ive kinda been lacking the discretion to know when and how and... 

RYAN: i was hanging out with sage the other day and we talked about a lot of things. i dont wanna say i had an EPIPHANY like suddenly everything makes sense and i know how to be a better person whos better at communicating! 

RYAN: but i guess it did help me figure out what i need right now. 

RYAN: so im sorry for holding you at arms length. me being afraid is no excuse to run. if anything its the opposite. -shrugs. she doesn't think it means much just to say these things, but that's about all she can do right now.-

JACK: -It's true. None of this was actually succeeding in making him feel better. For as much as Ryan tried to make sense of the mess of her brain, Jack was having an equally fucking time wading through the muck in his own. He rubs at his neck and shoulder, uncomfortable and uncertain of how the hell he should be behaving.- So... 

JACK: What is it you need?

RYAN: i need to quit being so fucking selfish. -sighs- 

RYAN: because i AM. im stubborn and i hide and i complicate things because i think its better for everyone to try and distance myself and forget about all pain ive caused people. 

RYAN: i need to just... listen to people. really listen to what it means when they say theyre there for me. 

RYAN: it sucks and i feel like a burden but whatever. i have to keep truckin.

JACK: -He feels ill having these things laid out in front of him. Again, he told himself. The word felt scalding and brutal even as he thought it. How the shit he was supposed to make sense of her efforts versus his own (???), Jack had no idea. He exhales painfully, his expression tight.- 

JACK: Where does all this leave me? I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Or what I'm supposed to be doing. 

JACK: Not that I expect you to know but... fuck. 

JACK: -wrings his hands about. Exasperated. Unable to express or even TELL what he was feeling.- We're a fucking mess.

RYAN: -watches the way the confused emotions twist painfully in his expression and mannerisms and matches it with her own.- 

RYAN: ... i know. 

RYAN: but baby you-- youve been doing good... 

RYAN: when i came back home i barely recognized you. you seemed so much more content with yourself and just. -gestures widly.- life! 

RYAN: im not saying i thought you had it all together but shit you made so much progress. -sighs- it made me feel like... i wasnt completely hopeless. it inspired me i guess. especially when you told me... the worst was over. 

RYAN: -runs a hand through her hair- what im saying is i dont think you need to do anything different from what youve been doing. 

RYAN: i just want to be a part of that. without being afraid of fucking it all up for you. 

RYAN: ... i dunno if that makes sense.

JACK: -blind eyes focus and tense at spaces he can't see. Picturing what her face might look like just by her tone of voice.- I can't stand here and pretend like it doesn't make sense. It does, Ryan. 

JACK: But at what cost? We work our asses off to get to a place where we're at least semi-functional, just to... throw it all out of the fucking window as soon as these impossible standards our sick heads start putting into our minds. 

JACK: Jesus fuck! -whips at his forehead, more exasperated than before. His voice echoes off the walls of the apartment.- I turn you into a symbol. You stop being a person, more like someone I have to warp myself to accommodate and-- 

JACK: It's wrong! It's so fucking WRONG that I'm the one that fucks it up for us. Why do we keep letting it get like this?? Why do you keep excusing it?? -hand flops to his side then, like a dead weight as scornfully, he turns his head.- 

JACK: Why can't I just. 

JACK: Be there for you? -scuffs his boot at the ground. The picture of unhappiness.-

RYAN: -at some point she's gotten to her feet, only to wind up stuck in place like she isn't sure where her restlessness wants to take her. instead, she passes her hands through her hair a few times, trying to figure out the answers to all the questions tumbling out of him.- 

RYAN: ... but you have been there for me. 

RYAN: youve been helping me stay on track all this while. whenever i thought i felt myself slipping id go to you cuz i knew youd understand and-- christ. 

RYAN: you literally saved me from getting jumped and who the fuck knows what else mightve happened to me that night. 

RYAN: you said it already... you arent the only who whos been distancing themselves. im not excusing shit. nothing im not doing too. -focuses on him again, taking steps towards him, touching whatever furniture she slowly passes by.- 

RYAN: im scared of dragging you down. im too much work. im scared im poison. 

RYAN: do you see me that way?

JACK: -As her voice floats closer, he finds his weight sagging until his shoulder presses by the hallway wall. Allowing her to approach with his tone nothing more than a mutter.- God damn it... 

JACK: Can't talk to you when you're like this... -says... and despite the words, Jack is wistful.-

RYAN: -huffs a little when she stops, keeping a short distance between them. her hands fiddle with her hair again nervously, but she still watches him carefully.- like what?

JACK: Vulnerable and approachable. And shit. -mumbles around a lopsided crack of a smile. At nothing in particular but if only Jack could see the cute uncertain look on her face. He'd sweep her up right then and there. Instead, he sighs.-

RYAN: -expression softens at the sight of his smile, and it tugs at her heart strings something painful.- ... shut up. im always tough. ill fight you right now. -sad as she is, she has to laugh a little. but when it quickly subsides, she sobers up again.- 

RYAN: jack... -exhales- 

RYAN: you know im not perfect.

RYAN: ive come and gone from your life so many times. everyones lives. i kept things from you. i did it back then and i started doing it again. 

RYAN: of course youre scared or upset. you just wanna help me. 

RYAN: but youre hurt too. youre mad. youre allowed to be. i want you to be. 

RYAN: dont idealize me. and i wont do that to you. 

RYAN: i just... think we can take the ugliness with the good too. i think its worth it.

JACK: -the weariness starts to tug at his expression again... But ultimately, he nods.- Makes sense logically. 

JACK: But ironically, I can't trust myself to know that is how I'm supposed to see things. Not always.

JACK: I'm blind, if you would. To those things. 

JACK: Wraps up pretty-like in the context, if you ask me.

RYAN: -scoffs a little, but she nods.- ... i get that. in a way. 

RYAN: like people tell me all the time i shouldnt feel bad. that im trying and thats all that matters and i should be proud of myself for the progress ive made. 

RYAN: -shrugs- but im not. not really. you know? 

RYAN: i believe what people tell me its just... not as easy to tell myself and believe that.

RYAN: i bury it i guess. so that i dont have to figure out how i really feel about it.

JACK: -closes his eyes and nods sagely. His answer delivered in an equally sage-like way.- It's honest-to-god funnel fry style horseshit.

RYAN: -dammit, she's smiling again. rude ass...- pretty much. 

RYAN: its gonna take a lil more than powdered sugar to make this mess prettier. 

RYAN: ... i never meant to rush into things again. 

RYAN: but i blame our fuckin ridiculous chemistry for that tbh. 

RYAN: i just... wanna be a part of your life. in whatever way i fit into it that works.

JACK: Mmmm. -scratches idly at his chin and neck.- 

JACK: I was personally going to blame the mad crazy ape banana monkey sex dreams you were having. 

JACK: There's been worse reasons to rush into shit, I'm sure.

RYAN: shut up?????? obviously i was avoiding that embarrassingly telling topic you insensitive bitch. -SHOVES HIM, but gently.- 

RYAN: god we are pathetic.

JACK: Ask anyone. Couldn't be a straight shooter if I tried. -reaches for the hands that shove him. Squeezing at them just as gently.- 

JACK: Insensitive bitch is my maiden name.

RYAN: is your middle name stupid ho? -looks at the hands holding hers, heart fluttering suddenly. dammit. she squeezes back till her fingers interlace with his.-

JACK: Ass. It's stupid "ass" ho. -slender fingers fit so thin and perfect beneath his own. He can tell by the simple touch.-

RYAN: ohhhh damn. i was so close. -shuffles her feet a little before she closes some of the distance still between them, resting her head against his shoulder wearily.- 

RYAN: what happens now?

JACK: -grasping at straws, really. He was about to ask her the same question himself. What Jack does do, is bring his arms around her shoulders. Holding her.- Get our respective shits together, I'm hoping. 

JACK: But honestly... 

JACK: Who fucking knows.

RYAN: yeah. -exhales again, trying not to overthink it all, but also not to flee from the uncertainty. it simply is. and in some way, eventually, it'll be alright. she squeezes her arms around him too, savoring what she can of the moment.- 

RYAN: i still think you were onto something back then. 

RYAN: about the worst being over with.

JACK: Maybe... -rests his cheek against her hair.- 

JACK: I wouldn't trust a word that past asshole of me might have said. 

JACK: He's been known to bullshit.

RYAN: -peeks up at him.- goddammit jack stupid ass ho insensitive bitch-crocker...

JACK: -Her peeks give him the opportunity to nuzzle, burying his nose in the short locks of her hair.- Hm... 

JACK: You smell pretty.

RYAN: smell ALL you want. -giggling again, she can't help to take advantage of the proximity -and brush her lips against his cheek in a chaste kiss.-

JACK: Some of the few things I'm reduced to, in my condition. -the smooch on his cheek has him tilting his head that way, reflexively going for a peck to her lips. Unfortunately, the whole execution ends up clumsy and he kisses at her chin instead. Wasted... and realizing what he's doing.- 

JACK: ...Sorry. -diddles between staying and pulling away, the arms turning slack around her shoulders.-

RYAN: -clumsy, but so sweet. she wants to go even less, perhaps against her better judgement. and she doesn't seem to budge much either.- dont be sorry. 

RYAN: but also same.

JACK: -Well someone has to show self control, he tells himself. Or try to. Arms peel from her shoulders until he can rest his hands there. It's then that he leans in again... and kisses at the top of her head.-

RYAN: -her heart sinks when they unfold from each other, but the bittersweet kiss to her forehead serves as another reminder that things will be okay. while he rests his hands on her shoulders, hers find his cheeks, framing him in such a way that he has to know she's looking him right in his smoky eyes.- 

RYAN: ... i love you. -she just needs to remind him.-

JACK: -with delicate palms taking his face, he can almost picture the pretty maroon of her eyes. Maybe his face ends up saying so... but Jack just can't bring himself to figure out what the words meant. If only he could give her the right reply.- That is really.... 

JACK: Enough. 

JACK: It's enough... for us. For now. -says, but not without hesitance. Like he's jumping on a gamble again.-

RYAN: -brushes her thumbs over his skin gently in one last attempt to reassure.- yeah. 

RYAN: it is. -says quietly, but with enough certainty for the both of them. again, for now. she finally draws her hands away then, stepping out from his personal space.- 

RYAN: im gonna... head home now.

JACK: -feels pretty chilly with her hands gone.- ...You sure?

Jake English's #1 Fan-Last Friday at 3:44 AM

RYAN: ... no.

RYAN: i mean i dont want to. -full body shrugging.- 

RYAN: do you... want me to stay?

JACK: Yeah? I mean... 

JACK: Hm. -looks up and around now- 

JACK: I actually don't know what time it is. 

JACK: Or if it's late.

RYAN: -snorts.- its a lil late yeah. 

RYAN: alright then. ill just crash here.

JACK: Our couch might as well have an imprint with your ass on it. Now that you mention it. -brushes by her to lumber deeper into the living room. Hand passing by the furniture as he does so.- Actually I mentioned that. 

JACK: Don't take credit for it.

RYAN: jack mentioning my ass... what a surprise. -watches him before following.- 

RYAN: i will take credit for the perfection of this imprint though. -plops onto the couch and wiggles like she's nestling into the imaginary indent (or is it.)-

JACK: Maybe I should take the couch for a change. -he can imagine what shes doing and is enjoying the imagery.- You can pirate my room.

RYAN: oh? then move bitch im tired of crashing on couches. -unwiggles back onto her feet.- 

RYAN: enjoy the lingering shape of my booty.

JACK: I'll try to not let it lead to anything risque. -fuck you, he's still going into his room. He needs a shower after all.-

RYAN: what you do on your couch is your business. -scampers into the room after him, immediately flopping into the bed so she can get cozy. she's a burrito. it's really a shame he can't see.- :relaxed:

JACK: Touche. -Truely the tragedy of the evening that he can't see. Jack busies himself by fishing for pajamas.- Same goes for what you do on my bed. My business. 

JACK: -And with that he leaves.- Go the fuck to sleep.

RYAN: yeah yeah... goodnight. -hate to see him go, love to watch him leave. :eyes: she rolls deeper into blankets onto her side, letting herself relax enough that she actually gets some restful sleep. it's easy when the sheets smell like him.-