#and in a passionated discussion with ANNE

[thatscarletflycatcher]

The problem with discussions about Henry Crawford is that there are two different questions being asked at the same time: 1) Can Fanny reform Henry? and 2) Can Henry reform?

Austen answers negatively to the first one, but I'd argue she's very ambivalent in her answer to the second.

Austen is not in the habit of "punishing" her villains; none of them are struck by accidents of fortune or anything the like, but we commonly perceive the downgrade between what they could have had and what they end up having. Edward Ferrars is an infinitely preferrable husband to Robert Ferrars, but Lucy Steele never seems to become aware of that fact. Isabella tries to get Captain Tilney over James Morland. Mr. Elliot is not crying by the corners over the fact that he lost Anne Elliot. Even Willoughby's regret is not about Marianne's actual goodness, but his personal convenience. Austen's "villains" as a rule are morally stupid people.

When Aristotle says that no one can be good who is stupid, he doesn't have in mind things like being good at Math or being well read or quick-witted; he's thinking of a certain intuition, clear-sightedness about what is good, what contributes to human flourishing, and this seems to be a strong component of what Austen calls sense. Sense is almost convertible (if not completely) with prudence, and prudence is a rather intuitive virtue, as it regulates the when, the how, the how much, etc of the other moral virtues. (and there goes my first thesis topic that I never did!).

In that way it is interesting that only 4 characters are said to possess sense in Mansfield Park: Edmund, Fanny, Henry, and Tom (and Tom doesn't even fully count, because his is expressed negatively: instead of having sense, he doesn't lack it). Here are the Henry instances:

"He did not want them to die of love; but with sense and temper which ought to have made him judge and feel better, he allowed himself great latitude on such points." "Henry Crawford had too much sense not to feel the worth of good principles in a wife, though he was too little accustomed to serious reflection to know them by their proper name; but when he talked of her having such a steadiness and regularity of conduct, such a high notion of honour, and such an observance of decorum as might warrant any man in the fullest dependence on her faith and integrity, he expressed what was inspired by the knowledge of her being well principled and religious." "That punishment, the public punishment of disgrace, should in a just measure attend his share of the offence is, we know, not one of the barriers which society gives to virtue. In this world the penalty is less equal than could be wished; but without presuming to look forward to a juster appointment hereafter, we may fairly consider a man of sense, like Henry Crawford, to be providing for himself no small portion of vexation and regret: vexation that must rise sometimes to self-reproach, and regret to wretchedness, in having so requited hospitality, so injured family peace, so forfeited his best, most estimable, and endeared acquaintance, and so lost the woman whom he had rationally as well as passionately loved."

(I'm not counting the one time Edmund calls him a man of sense, and the one time Sir Thomas does the same, for obvious contextual reasons).

It's not only interesting that he is the only rake to be called a man of sense by the narrator (Mrs. Smith calling Mr. Elliot a man of sense in Persuasion is clearly not meant to be taken straight), but that it is always specifically tied to moral perceptiveness; he was morally perceptive enough to know he shouldn't have played the way he did, and he chose to ignore it. He perceives Fanny's moral worth, and it is the core reason why he wants to marry her.* He also perceives William's moral worth as something both good and desirable:

"To Henry Crawford they gave a different feeling. He longed to have been at sea, and seen and done and suffered as much. His heart was warmed, his fancy fired, and he felt the highest respect for a lad who, before he was twenty, had gone through such bodily hardships and given such proofs of mind. The glory of heroism, of usefulness, of exertion, of endurance, made his own habits of selfish indulgence appear in shameful contrast; and he wished he had been a William Price, distinguishing himself and working his way to fortune and consequence with so much self-respect and happy ardour, instead of what he was!"

Both here and at the end of the novel, Henry's moral perceptiveness leads to remorse for his own moral wrongdoings. Compare this to Willoughby's regret over Marianne:

"Willoughby could not hear of her marriage without a pang; and his punishment was soon afterwards complete in the voluntary forgiveness of Mrs. Smith, who, by stating his marriage with a woman of character, as the source of her clemency, gave him reason for believing that had he behaved with honour towards Marianne, he might at once have been happy and rich. That his repentance of misconduct, which thus brought its own punishment, was sincere, need not be doubted;—nor that he long thought of Colonel Brandon with envy, and of Marianne with regret. But that he was for ever inconsolable, that he fled from society, or contracted an habitual gloom of temper, or died of a broken heart, must not be depended on—for he did neither. He lived to exert, and frequently to enjoy himself. His wife was not always out of humour, nor his home always uncomfortable; and in his breed of horses and dogs, and in sporting of every kind, he found no inconsiderable degree of domestic felicity."

This sense/moral perceptiveness of Henry Crawford, and his experiencing remorse for his own wrongdoings sets him apart from the other Austen rakes. He's also not a drinker or a gambler; he does take at least minimal care of Everingham ("Everingham could not do without him in the beginning of September. He went for a fortnight") and did some modifications to it as soon as he got it. The same way Darcy's character is revealed as we see Pemberley, so the inflexion point of Henry's redemption attempt is his trying to become a better master of his estate:

For her approbation, the particular reason of his going into Norfolk at all, at this unusual time of year, was given. It had been real business, relative to the renewal of a lease in which the welfare of a large and—he believed—industrious family was at stake. He had suspected his agent of some underhand dealing; of meaning to bias him against the deserving; and he had determined to go himself, and thoroughly investigate the merits of the case. He had gone, had done even more good than he had foreseen, had been useful to more than his first plan had comprehended, and was now able to congratulate himself upon it, and to feel that in performing a duty, he had secured agreeable recollections for his own mind. He had introduced himself to some tenants whom he had never seen before; he had begun making acquaintance with cottages whose very existence, though on his own estate, had been hitherto unknown to him. This was aimed, and well aimed, at Fanny. It was pleasing to hear him speak so properly; here he had been acting as he ought to do. To be the friend of the poor and the oppressed! Nothing could be more grateful to her; and she was on the point of giving him an approving look, when it was all frightened off by his adding a something too pointed of his hoping soon to have an assistant, a friend, a guide in every plan of utility or charity for Everingham: a somebody that would make Everingham and all about it a dearer object than it had ever been yet. She turned away, and wished he would not say such things. She was willing to allow he might have more good qualities than she had been wont to suppose. She began to feel the possibility of his turning out well at last; but he was and must ever be completely unsuited to her, and ought not to think of her.

I have half an idea of going into Norfolk again soon. I am not satisfied about Maddison. I am sure he still means to impose on me if possible, and get a cousin of his own into a certain mill, which I design for somebody else. I must come to an understanding with him. I must make him know that I will not be tricked on the south side of Everingham, any more than on the north: that I will be master of my own property. I was not explicit enough with him before. The mischief such a man does on an estate, both as to the credit of his employer and the welfare of the poor, is inconceivable. I have a great mind to go back into Norfolk directly, and put everything at once on such a footing as cannot be afterwards swerved from. Maddison is a clever fellow; I do not wish to displace him, provided he does not try to displace me; but it would be simple to be duped by a man who has no right of creditor to dupe me, and worse than simple to let him give me a hard-hearted, griping fellow for a tenant, instead of an honest man, to whom I have given half a promise already. Would it not be worse than simple? Shall I go? Do you advise it?” “I advise! You know very well what is right.” “Yes. When you give me your opinion, I always know what is right. Your judgment is my rule of right.” “Oh, no! do not say so. We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.

This is even more hammered in by the narrator: "Had he done as he intended, and as he knew he ought, by going down to Everingham after his return from Portsmouth, he might have been deciding his own happy destiny."

All these elements seem to point towards his being redeemable; he almost managed it! If only he'd gone to Everingham instead of London, catastrophic failure would have been averted! And yet at the same time we are told this:

Henry Crawford, ruined by early independence and bad domestic example, indulged in the freaks of a cold-blooded vanity a little too long. Once it had, by an opening undesigned and unmerited, led him into the way of happiness. Could he have been satisfied with the conquest of one amiable woman’s affections, could he have found sufficient exultation in overcoming the reluctance, in working himself into the esteem and tenderness of Fanny Price, there would have been every probability of success and felicity for him. His affection had already done something. Her influence over him had already given him some influence over her. Would he have deserved more, there can be no doubt that more would have been obtained, especially when that marriage had taken place, which would have given him the assistance of her conscience in subduing her first inclination, and brought them very often together. Would he have persevered, and uprightly, Fanny must have been his reward, and a reward very voluntarily bestowed, within a reasonable period from Edmund’s marrying Mary.

Ruined by early independence and bad domestic example. Mansfield Park is in a way a rather pessimist novel: it is a novel about education, and once your education has "set", your character is fixed, and your fate determined. Much of Maria and Julia's disgrace was also directly caused by their upbringing in a household where all importance was given to superficial qualities, and very little effective affection was shared; one can compare the restrained calm of Mansfield as a reflection of Sir Thomas' own unwillingness to see reality and give himself some discomfort in making others comfortable, with the bustle of the Musgrove household, and connect the dots to what makes the relationship between sisters Maria and Julia so different from the one between Louisa and Henrietta in similar situations.

In the end, it's a bit of a Schröedinger's cat situation. Can Henry reform? Yes, says Austen, he has the qualities needed for moral improvement, but no, his upbringing ruined him, and his character is fixed.

While this idea is the strongest in MP, it is present one way or another in all Austen's novels. Characters reforming is usually more about one specific quality or moral tone not being fine tuned than proper metanoia. Darcy was taught to do right, and did right; what he needed was to add proper humility and kindness to his practice. There is an exception, though, the one thing Charlotte Brontë and Jane Austen agree upon: a close brush with death is the best recipe for moral cure in the otherwise incurable.

Maybe the key is to wish Henry a good pneumonia, or a strong horsefall-induced concussion.

_____________

*On a side note, it's interesting that before he proposes, he considers how attached Fanny is to Mansfield, as undeserving as he thinks the Bertrams to be of her affection, and even draws a plan that contemplates giving her pleasure that way too: "I will not take her from Northamptonshire. I shall let Everingham, and rent a place in this neighbourhood; perhaps Stanwix Lodge."

[morgana-larkin]

Me againnnn lmao I have another request could u do Melissa x reader where reader is normally quiet but someone brought up their special interest and everyone is kinda weirded out coz reader gets so happy and starts talking about it and sharing facts and stuff but no one except Melissa knows reader is autistic and someone says something mean to reader and she gets upset and Melissa comforts reader and also stands up for her (as always no pressure I’m so so so happy! u r the first person that iv come across who writes fics about Melissa and autistic reader I get so happy when I see a notification from u i literally jump up and down with happiness and your fics really help me to accept im autistic coz I’m still trying to come to terms with it anyway hope u r doing well🫶)

OMG YES! Info dumping! I love it. And I’m so glad my fics are helping you. Feel free as well to message me directly if you ever want. So my other obsession besides Lisa Ann Walter, is Doctor Who and Jodie Whittaker, so of course I chose to have the reader talk about her as the Doctor… I regret nothing 😊. I went a little extra at the end but I’m too gay for Melissa to care. Anyway, I enjoyed writing this so thank you for the prompt and I hope you like it! As always, not edited in the slightest.

For everyone, feel free to keep sending me prompts, and I was thinking about writing a one shot about Cheesy as there’s not enough imo. Let me know if I should or not.

Title based off the song from Shrek 3 and the Italian word stronzo means asshole.

Thank You for Letting Me Be Myself

Warnings: someone is mean to reader, reader struggling with having autism(small part)

Words: 2.3k

You’re sitting in the break room at the table with Barb and Melissa. You get up to get a coffee and when you do you hear someone starting to talk about Doctor Who and you perk up.

You turn around to see Jacob, Mr. Morton and another teacher talking about it. “You guys watch Doctor Who?” You say and they stop talking and look up at you. Normally you’re quiet and don’t really say much as you’re recharging before you go and have to teach your kiddos again.

“Yes, do you watch it?” Jacob asks you and you nod with a big smile. Melissa looks up at you and sees your smile and she can’t help but smile herself. She’s had a crush on you since about 4 months after you started and it’s almost been 9 months that you’re working here.

“Well come here and share your thoughts about it.” Jacob says and you walk over to them, coffee in hand.

“What exactly is your discussion about?” You ask them.

“About the first female doctor, the 13th doctor.” Mr. Morton says and you keep smiling.

“She’s my favourite doctor! Like she’s so enthusiastic and passionate and she just loves everything about what she does! And she’s so funny too, it’s just a joy to watch Jodie play her!” You start and they look at you confused, wondering why you’ve always been quiet but now you’re talkative.

The truth is, you're autistic and the only one that knows is Melissa and she promised not to tell anyone since it’s your secret not hers. You told her because you felt like you kept missing social cues or taking things too literally, so you wanted someone in your corner to help you and she had no problem doing that for you. She looks at you talking so passionately about your favourite show with a smile and heart eyes before going back to her phone, secretly still listening to you.

“And her Tardis is so amazing, oh and her companion’s compliment her so well, and her outfit looks amazing. Did you know that Jodie helped decide on the outfit to support the LGBTQ community since she’s a huge ally. And also…” and you keep going on for about 5 minutes about how much you love the 13th doctor and her era on Doctor Who. Until the other teacher, you don’t know their name, the one Mr. Morton and Jacob were talking too, says something.

“OMG! Would you please shut up!” He says and you quickly shut your mouth. “I preferred it when you didn’t speak at all.” He says, glaring at you. And you look down at the ground, embarrassed before running out of there.

Melissa looked up when he started speaking and is now getting up and walking over to them. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that. You should count yourself lucky that I won’t contact one of my guys on you.” She says and looks at Jacob. “Why didn’t you say anything?!?” She says to him “or you?” She says to Mr. Morton.

“Sorry Melissa, it all happened so fast.” Mr. Morton says and Jacob nods in agreement.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” She says to the teacher that was mean to you.

“Hey, we were just sitting here talking about it until she cuts in and starts talking about everything that we weren’t even discussing. And she wouldn’t stop talking.” The teacher says , only making a deeper hole for himself. Melissa glares at him.

“I don’t care what you think! There’s better ways to do that!” She says to him.

“She shouldn’t have talked so much and knew that it was too much.” He says, still trying to defend himself.

“She’s autistic you stronzo!” She yells at him and then realises that she just told your secret and has wide eyes. All 3 of them look at her speechless, now understanding that you got excited and were info dumping and didn’t mean to talk so much. Melissa turns around and walks out of the break room and goes to find you.

She ends up finding you in your classroom crying on your chair, hugging your legs. She knocks on the door, “hey y/n it’s me, just wanted to come check on you.” She tells you.

You get up and unlock the door then open it. Melissa’s heart breaks a bit when she sees you. Eyes puffy, red and watery, tear stained cheeks and red nose from you blowing your nose.

“Oh hun.” She says and you walk back to your chair hugging your legs again. Melissa walks in and closes and locks the door then walks over to your desk. “Hey, he was an ass, he shouldn’t have said that to you.” Melissa tells you and crouches down and you look at her.

“No, he’s right, I was talking too much. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in their conversation. I just got so excited,” you tell her and you sniffle a bit.

“Hun, it’s understandable, I know how much you love Doctor Who. You have nothing to be ashamed about.” She tells you and grabs your hand. “Btw I might have accidentally told them that you’re autistic. As in I told them and called that teacher a stronzo for you.” She tells you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to slip out, I just got angry that he was mean to you.” She says, rubbing your hand with her thumb.

“It’s ok, they would have found out eventually. But this is another reason I don’t engage in conversations, cause I might talk too much.” You tell her. Melissa gets up and opens her arms out.

“Come here.” She tells you and motions to hug her. You put your feet down on the ground and then hug her waist since you’re still sitting in your chair. “Why don’t we go back in there, finish lunch. And then after school you can come to my place and I can make you some food and we can watch whatever you want.” She suggests and you look at her surprised.

“Really?” You ask her and she nods. “I would love that.” You tell her and she smiles. She helps you up and then unlocks the door and opens it for you. You both walk out and she sees you’re nervous about going back. She puts an arm wrapped around your back and her other hand on the arm closes to her and rubs it, providing comfort for you.

You get back in and when you enter everyone stops and looks up at you. Melissa can feel you immediately tense up. “What are all youse looking at?” She says and glares at everyone. Everyone immediately looks back down to their phone or food and continues what they were doing. Melissa leads you back to the table where Barb is and Barb gives you a comforting smile.

The teacher that was mean to you gets up and comes over to you. Melissa sees him coming over and glares at him, almost daring him to hurt you again. He has his head hanging a bit, looking embarrassed and stands beside you and you look up at him.

“Hey y/n, I just wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, I’m sorry.” He tells you and you nod your head at him. You’re too overwhelmed right now and can’t speak. You finish your lunch without saying another word and Melissa keeps glancing at you, worried about you.

You finish up the day quietly. You get the kids to work on their book report so that it’s silent and you don’t have to talk much. At the end of the day, when your last student was picked up you glance over at Melissa down the hall. You taught first grade so your classrooms are close together.

You can’t help but stare at her. She’s bending over and offering one of her students a high five before waving bye to them to go with their parent. You decide to leave now while she’s distracted, you think that maybe it wasn’t the best to get Melissa involved in your situation and shouldn’t have told her you’re autistic. So many people have had to accommodate you or help you and you feel like you should be able to do it yourself now that you’re an adult.

Melissa sees you look at her with a sad expression on your face before leaving. She can’t help but feel like maybe you won’t come over to her place now. When her last student is leaving with their parent a couple minutes later, she practically books it to the parking lot but sees your car is already gone.

She drives home and gets to work on cooking dinner, hoping you’d show. But then she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be able to make it tonight, and she sighs. She researched autism when you told her a few months ago and she knows that when autistic people get overwhelmed, they hide themselves away. She offered for you to come to her place to de-stress with food and tv, so she does the next best thing. After she finished cooking, she packed it into a container, and brought it with her to your place. She went and knocked on your door.

You answered it not too long later with leggings and loose shirt on. “Melissa? What are you doing here?” You ask her.

“Well since you won’t come over to my place, I thought I’d come to you.” She says with a warm smile and you now feel even more guilty for cancelling on her. “I brought over food I made. So either we can eat here or we can go back to my place. Choice is up to you.” She tells you with a shrug. You decide to go to her place and when you get there she gives you your favourite hoodie of hers and you sit on the couch. You’ve been to her place before and you told her that the plastic felt weird to sit on and she removed it the next day so that you’re comfortable when you go there. “Hey, you don’t have to speak but I just want to know that you’re ok.” She says and you nod. She gives you a plate of the food and you see that it’s her spaghetti and meatballs dish. Your favourite food of hers and you smile at her. She joins you on the couch, sitting next to you and then hands you the remote so you can decide what to watch, you decide on Shrek 3.

You watch the movie while eating, with Melissa right next to you, you in her hoodie, and you finally feel like you’re calming down. You put your head on her shoulder after you put your empty plate on the coffee table and she wraps her arm around you. You continue the movie, quoting some of the lines, and when it plays the ending scene with puss and donkey singing thank you, Melissa gets an idea. She guides you up and leads you to the empty space beside her couch and starts dancing with you. When the chorus comes on she sings it to you “I wanna thank you for lettin me be myself…again” She sings and you laugh. When she says the line again, she spins you while singing. The second chorus comes up “come on sing it with me.” She tells you.

The both of you sing it while dancing “I WANNA THANK YOU FOR LETTIN ME BE MYSELF…AGAIN.” You both sing at the top of your lungs. When it ends you’re both laughing and she hugs you.

“Thank you for letting me be myself.” You tell her and she looks at you with a warm smile and places a lock of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek.

“It’s not a problem hun, it doesn’t matter to me that you’re autistic you know. You just think differently, and that's alright.”

You look in her eyes and you lean forward and kiss her. Melissa kisses you back and moves her hand from your cheek to the back of your head and places her left hand on your waist. You pull back and look at her with a smile.

“You kissed me back.” You say to her and she nods. “Why?”

“Because I like you. I have for a few months now.” She tells you.

“For how long?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Around the new year.” And you look at her in shock.

“But that’s after I told you I was autistic.” You tell her, putting the pieces together. “You knew I was autistic and you still like me?” You question her.

“How would you being autistic make me not like you?” She asks you, confused.

“Because I’m different than other people and have struggles because of it.” You tell her like it’s obvious.

“So? Everyone is different in their own way and everyone has their own struggles.” She tells you. “For example, I have trouble letting people in, because of trust issues. And I can have a short temper too.” She says and you look at her with so much love in your eyes. You kiss her again and she doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back.

When the person says “you may kiss the bride” , she doesn’t hesitate to give you a kiss then either. With a huge smile, she brings you closer to her and gives you a kiss, as wife and wife.

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[m-jelly]

Hi, Jelly 😘 What about Levi and reader as adoptive parents? Let's say they adopt a little girl from an orphanage. It would be interesting to see moments in their lives: they took her from the orphanage, they bring their daughter home for the first time, her first birthday in a new house, she calls them mom and dad for the first time)))

I changed this a little bit to fit with Levi a little more, hope that's okay.

Hope for Clover

Levi x fem!reader

Future AU, soldier Levi, Captain Levi, married couple, fluff, romance, adoption.

When a major battle on another planet finally comes to an end, Levi returns home to you after being away for two weeks. As the soldiers return to their homes, Levi goes back to the planet you live on together with a new addition to the family. Clover is a little girl now orphaned that Levi saved. The two of you discuss what to do with the sweet three-year-old and decide to become her parents.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a

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@hideandgopeep @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird @searriously

The vids were praising the legion galactic army for facing off against a race of beings that wanted to consume the whole of the galaxy. Multiple races banded together with the humans for freedom. The last stand against them was on a planet near the edge of the galaxy and it seemed like everyone won.

It made you happy beyond words to know that the galaxy was safe once again and your husband would be coming home. You used to be a soldier and had incredible tech skills. You met Levi by being assigned to his ship while he went on special missions. One thing led to another and you ended up becoming lovers, then married.

After you got hurt badly during the galactic war, Levi urged you to take a step back, so you did and your job was to help them from a distance. Levi and you had even moved to a planet known for its pure beauty and to help those recovering from wounds. It was full of rolling purple hills, blue flowers, two bright moons and suns, vast lakes and beaches. It was heaven for you and Levi.

As the shuttle arrived with your husband, you felt a knot in your stomach as you wondered what condition he was in. He always told you everything was fine and then would come back with scars, so you could never predict how he would be. The last two weeks were the hardest of all the battles, so something had to have happened.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you stood with only a few others waiting for the arrival of the soldiers. You watched as the other men got off first and people parted leaving you alone and no husband. You panicked a bit but another shuttle landed, this had to be your husband but you weren't sure why he had special treatment, he never liked that.

Your eyes widened when Levi stepped out with a little three-year-old girl on his hip. "Levi?"

He walked closer allowing you to see the little girl had a robotic leg, she'd clearly lost her leg in the war. "Hey." He leaned over and kissed you passionately. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." You smiled at the green-eyed little girl with thick ginger hair, she was a vision. "Who is this princess?"

The girl giggled. "I'm not a princess."

"Really? How odd because you look like one."

Levi grinned. "This is Clover. I...I saved her...she...she's alone." He looked at you with sad eyes. "I...I was hoping..."

You took Clover from Levi and hugged her. "Do you want to live with me and Levi?"

She nodded. "Please!"

You hummed a laugh. "Wonderful. Well, let's get you inside and well-fed." You placed her on her feet. "Let's go."

Levi placed his hand on your lower back. "Thank you."

You kissed Levi's cheek. "She's an orphan, we want kids and she needs us. She's ours now."

"Yes, she's ours." He smiled softly. "I still want more kids."

You giggled. "We'll make one of our own someday, but for now we have a wonderful daughter to care for!"

Clover had adored her new home and it flustered her that Levi and you bought her so much and gave her a big room. She had a lot of toys to play with and you both were gentle with her, so she knew she could do things at her own pace.

Levi would take her to the doctor once a week to make sure her robotic leg was working well and taking to her body. The two of you would teach her things and play with her often, but she was still very shy when it came to you. She was close with Levi because they'd seen war together, but you were new to her.

You worried that she wouldn't like you and didn't want you as a mother, but Levi told you how much Clover loved you. He told you Clover always asked him to tell her stories about you, to show her pictures of you and to tell her all about the things you liked. Clover wanted to get very close to you, she was just very shy.

After learning from Levi about Clover's adoration for you, you began noticing how she would peep at you, spy around corners, watch you as you moved around and look out for you when she was with Levi. It was adorable how she was with you and you would always say hello and often she'd stay with you, but sometimes she'd blush and run off to a new spot to spy on you.

One day you were sat in the garden working on a gadget to assist you with your fruit growing. You were humming a little song to yourself when your soldier training kicked in, you could sense Clover was close. So, you pretended not to notice, like she was a cute little kitty.

Clover shuffled closer to you, her cheeks pink with a blush and a rabbit plushie in her arms. She peered over your shoulder to look at what you were doing. "Mm...what you doing?"

You smiled softly. "I am making a little device to help me look after my fruit."

She walked around and stared. "Fruit?"

You nodded. "I'm growing all kinds of fruit from different planets. I also grow veg too." You looked up at her. "This device will be placed in the ground and it'll project a grid. Anything inside the grid will be monitored and I'll be updated on if they're ready to harvest or if they become sick."

She crouched and looked at the device. "Coooool." She looked up at you and gave you a toothy grin. "You're smart! I want to be smart like you."

"Well, I can teach you a few things. I used to do a lot of tech for the Legion Galactic Army."

She sat down. "Wow."

You felt your cheeks heat up. "I used to do a lot for Levi and his crew. I was the reason their suits kept them safe, their weapons protected them and the ship stayed flying."

Her eyes sparkled in delight. "Wooooow." She stared at your right hand and arm to see it was robotic like hers. "Umm..."

You wiggled your fingers at her. "Lost this in the war, but Levi saved me. He saved us both it seems." You smiled as she touched your hand. "We match."

She grinned. "We're twins!"

"That's right."

She crawled over and sat on your lap. "I like you." She hugged you tightly. "You're so pretty and cool."

You hugged her back. "Have you been trying to be with me like this since you arrived here three weeks ago?"

She nodded shyly. "Yes."

You kissed the top of her head. "You're so sweet. I'm here for you, always."

Clover had been with you and Levi for a few months now, she was very comfortable with the two of you. She would help you both out and always want to be around you. She would follow you around the most, which warmed Levi's heart that she'd taken to you so much.

Today was her birthday and you'd planned everything for her to ensure she had everything she wanted. This was probably the first one she would remember. So, you and Levi wanted to make it extra special.

You helped Clover change into a cute dress for the day before helping her comb her thick hair. "There we go."

Clover grinned. "Thank you." She reached up and held your hand. "Ready."

You walked with her into the living room to see Levi had finished the last touches. "Happy Birthday, Clover."

Clover gasped when she saw all the decorations, the balloons, banners, hologram animals and bunny-themed things everywhere. She released your hand and hurried forward to see the presents waiting for her, a big cake you had baked and Levi wearing an outfit that matched Clover and you.

Tears filled Clover's eyes. "Mm..."

Levi knelt down. "Happy Birthday, kiddo."

She ran over and jumped into his arms. "Thank you."

He hugged her tightly. "I can't believe you're five! You're growing up so fast."

She sniffed and ran over to you. "Mummy! Hug!"

You dropped to your knees as the wind was knocked out of you. You hugged her as you felt your heart race. "Wh...what...did you call me?"

She pulled back and kissed your cheek. "Thank you, Mummy. I love you."

You smiled brightly through your tears. "I love you too, sweetie."

Clover smiled at Levi. "Thank you, Daddy! I love you."

Levi shuffled over and hugged you both. "You're very welcome. We love you so much."

She released you both and smiled. "Do I get a birthday wish?"

"Of course."

You nodded. "What do you wish for?"

She giggled. "To be a big sister!"

Both you and Levi looked at each other, your cheeks heating up. As Clover ran to open her presents, you and Levi started thinking about her cute wish. As you watched her open her presents, the two of you held hands and cuddled up to each other.

Clover hurried back over to you both and lifted her bunny. "I also want to gift this to the baby." She lowered it. "Mummy, Daddy? Will you make a baby?"

Levi tugged you closer. "I think a nice big family would be good."

You giggled. "Me too."

[doreminimi]

lost in translation: fated encounters

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ 𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: Yuki Ishikawa x Exchange Student Reader 

₊˚⊹♡⋆ 𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓒𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 9,286 (with epilogue)

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖ 𝓢𝔂𝓷𝓸𝓹𝓼𝓲𝓼: An architectural exchange student from Japan finds herself in a bind when a service repairman arrives at her apartment in Perugia, Italy, but doesn’t speak a word of Italian. Amidst the chaos and miscommunication, her friendly neighbor, Yuki Ishikawa, steps in to help. His fluent Italian and kind demeanor break the ice, sparking an unexpected friendship between the two, maybe even leading to something more.

a/n: I might have added more to the story after that little teaser from a few days ago 🙈 but I hope you enjoy the story!

song playlist - daydream, ariana grande // perfect, one direction // stuck with you, ariana grande & justin bieber // angel baby, troye sivan // snooze, sza // 2002, anne-marie // enchanted, taylor swift // swap it out, justin bieber // late night talking, harry styles // written in the stars, wendy & john legend // fallin' all in you, shawn mendes // night changes, one direction // i like me better, lauv // count it, nayeon // dandelion, jaehyun // moonlit floor, lisa // saturn, sza (songs to listen to - doesn't have to be in any particular order)

One:

It’s another breezy autumn day in Tokyo, where life flows like a river through the bustling city streets. The air is crisp and invigorating, carrying the vibrant scents of street food — takoyaki sizzling on grills, the sweet aroma of taiyaki fresh from vendors, and the earthy fragrance of fallen leaves creating a rich collage of seasonal delights. As you navigate through the busy crowds of people, each absorbed in their own worlds, you find solace in the rhythm of the city, a comforting backdrop to your hectic life as a graduate student.

Rushing toward the University of Tokyo, you glance anxiously at your watch, a knot of worry tightening in your stomach. Today marks your weekly meeting with your supervisor, and the stakes feel especially high. You can’t afford to be late. Your heart races as you weave through groups of students, professionals, and tourists, each person wrapped in their own narrative, blissfully unaware of the internal chaos swirling within you.

Y/F/N Y/L/N. At 27, you’ve dedicated yourself to your Master’s degree in Architectural Conservation. For you, this isn’t just an academic pursuit; it’s a calling that intertwines with your passion for history and your desire to shape a better future. You envision a world where the stories of the past are honored and preserved, one building at a time. It’s a lofty ambition, but each day you draw closer to that goal, even if it feels like a long and winding road.

Finally, you reach the meeting room, taking a moment to collect yourself before stepping inside. The door swings open to reveal a space that feels like a sanctuary, walls lined with bookshelves crammed with tomes on architecture, history, and conservation, each volume whispering secrets of the past. Your supervisor, a seasoned professor with a welcoming demeanor and an infectious enthusiasm for his field, greets you with a smile that immediately eases some of your tension.

“Y/N, it’s good to see you,” he says, gesturing for you to take a seat at the polished wooden table strewn with papers and blueprints. “I’ve been looking forward to discussing your progress.”

As you dive into the intricacies of your research, examining the elegant curves of Baroque facades and the solemn lines of Gothic structures, emphasizing the vital importance of preservation, you can’t shake the feeling of anticipation bubbling just beneath the surface. The room feels charged, as if the air itself is holding its breath. After you lay out your findings, your supervisor leans back in his chair, his expression shifting to one of intrigue and excitement.

“Y/N, you’ve made remarkable progress. I’m genuinely impressed,” he begins, his tone growing serious. “I have a unique opportunity for you. The university has partnered with several prestigious institutions in Italy focused on architectural conservation, and we would like to offer you a short-term internship. It would involve further research at the University of Perugia.”

His words hang in the air, and for a moment, time seems to freeze. The prospect of Italy, a country steeped in architectural marvels and rich history, sends your mind racing. Images of ancient ruins, stunning cathedrals, and charming piazzas flood your thoughts, and you find yourself questioning the serendipity that has led to this moment. Ever since you were young, you have been captivated by the Italian lifestyle, the art, the culture, and the passion for beauty in every detail.

“Would you be interested?” he asks, his voice steady, grounding you in the moment.

Your heart leaps, a thrill of excitement surging through you. “Yes! Absolutely!” you reply, your voice filled with an enthusiasm that surprises even you.

His smile widens, radiating a mix of pride and encouragement that wraps around you like a warm embrace. “Fantastic. I’ll arrange the details. This could be a life-changing experience for you,” he assures you, his eyes twinkling with the promise of adventure and discovery.

As you leave the meeting, a renewed sense of purpose fills your veins. The bustling streets of Tokyo fade into the background, replaced by the vibrant, sun-drenched landscapes of Italy, where your dreams of conservation and culture are about to unfold.

Two:

Packing for Italy felt like a whirlwind, chaotic and exhilarating, with an undercurrent of anxiety gnawing at your excitement. Unlike your usual trips or holidays, this journey was more than just a vacation; it represented a chance to dive deep into your passion for architectural conservation. Each item you carefully folded and placed in your suitcase felt heavy with significance, as if you were curating a small part of your identity to bring along on this grand adventure.

You meticulously arranged your favorite sketchbooks, ensuring they were nestled safely between layers of clothing, their pages eager to capture the inspiration that awaited you. Your trusty set of pencils, worn from years of use, found their place alongside a few carefully chosen tokens from home: a small photograph of your family, a delicate charm bracelet from a friend, and a handmade postcard filled with messages of encouragement. Each item served as a reminder of the love and support that surrounded you, especially from those who had gathered for tearful goodbyes and heartfelt hugs. As you zipped up your suitcase, the reality of what lay ahead began to settle in, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine.

Finally, the day of your departure arrived. The air buzzed with excitement as you boarded the plane, your heart racing at the thought of what awaited you in Italy. Tokyo faded beneath you, the sprawling metropolis giving way to the vast expanse of sky, filled with endless possibilities. You found solace in the thought of exploring Italy’s rich history and architectural treasures, even as nerves about the language barrier nibbled at the edges of your excitement.

Upon landing, Italy enveloped you like a warm embrace. Perugia welcomed you with its sun-drenched hills and terracotta rooftops, the vibrant colors a stark contrast to the muted tones of Tokyo. The cobblestone streets wound like ancient rivers, guiding you through a city steeped in history. You could almost hear the whispers of those who walked these paths long before you, and a thrill of inspiration coursed through your veins. The air was rich with the scent of aged stone and blooming flowers, creating an intoxicating blend that made your heart swell with possibility.

After settling into your cozy off-campus apartment, characterized by its rustic wooden beams overhead and a small balcony overlooking the lively street below, you took a moment to breathe in the charm of your new surroundings. The view from your balcony offered a snapshot of everyday Italian life: locals chatting animatedly, children playing, and the distant sound of a street musician strumming a cheerful tune. Yet, a shadow of anxiety loomed over you; while you were fluent in Japanese, English, Korean, and even had a bit of Mandarin under your belt, Italian was a language you had never studied. Taking a deep breath, you resolved to embrace the challenge and immerse yourself in this new world.

The next day, you headed to the University of Perugia for your initial meeting with the faculty contacts regarding your internship. The campus was alive with students bustling between classes, the air buzzing with excitement and lively conversation. As you navigated through the maze of historical buildings, each with its own unique character, you finally found the office of your liaison, Dr. Conti. She was a warm and welcoming woman with an infectious smile that immediately put you at ease.

“Welcome, Y/N!” she greeted you, extending her hand enthusiastically. “We’re thrilled to have you here. I hope your journey was smooth?”

“It was wonderful, thank you!” you replied, feeling a swell of gratitude for her kindness.

Dr. Conti led you into a sunlit conference room adorned with images of historical sites, an inspiring backdrop for your discussion. The walls were lined with photos of breathtaking architecture, from the intricate details of Renaissance buildings to the stark beauty of medieval structures. You felt a surge of motivation as she began outlining the internship details, her enthusiasm palpable.

“We’re excited to facilitate your research on architectural conservation,” she explained, her eyes sparkling with energy. “You’ll have the chance to visit various historical sites across Italy.” As she spoke, she painted a vivid picture of what lay ahead: Florence with its iconic Duomo, Venice with its enchanting canals, and Rome, where history echoes in every corner. “We have partnerships with several institutions, and you’ll be collaborating with experts in the field. We’ll focus on preservation techniques and the history behind these magnificent structures.”

Your heart raced at the thought of exploring those iconic cities. Eagerly, you leaned in, absorbing every detail of your impending adventures. “What will my specific role be?” you asked, your curiosity piqued.

Dr. Conti smiled warmly. “You’ll assist in research and documentation at each site. This will involve taking notes, conducting analyses, and participating in discussions. It’s an incredible opportunity to learn and contribute to important projects.”

As she detailed the itinerary, a sense of purpose solidified within you. The language barrier still loomed like a specter, but the thought of working alongside passionate individuals filled you with hope and determination. The prospect of diving headfirst into your work ignited a fire in your belly.

After the meeting concluded, Dr. Conti extended an invitation to a small get-together dinner with your new colleagues that evening. “It’ll be a casual gathering, a chance for you to meet everyone and unwind after your travels. We want you to feel at home here,” she said, her tone warm and inviting.

“Thank you! I’d love to join,” you replied, your spirits lifting at the prospect of making connections.

Later that evening, you found yourself at a cozy trattoria, laughter and conversation enveloping you like a warm blanket. The air was filled with the enticing aroma of homemade pasta and rich sauces simmering on the stove. Colleagues welcomed you with open arms, sharing stories and anecdotes that made you feel instantly included. Their passion for their work was infectious, each person animatedly discussing architectural styles and preservation techniques, their love for Italy evident in every word.

You listened intently, contributing whenever you could, though you occasionally struggled with vocabulary. Their encouragement and patience made it easier to engage, each smile and nod reassuring you. The clinking of glasses and the warm glow of candlelight created an atmosphere of camaraderie, allowing you to relax and enjoy the evening.

As you sipped on a glass of local wine, the initial anxiety began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of belonging. Surrounded by friendly faces, you realized that you were not just in Italy to study; you were part of a vibrant community that shared your passion for history and conservation. With a heart full of hope and excitement for the journey ahead, you reveled in the moment, knowing that this was just the beginning of an incredible adventure.

Settling back into your apartment later that night, you reflected on the day’s events, the rich tapestry of history and culture surrounding you felt like a dream come true. With the promise of exploration and discovery ahead, you drifted off to sleep, a smile on your face and a sense of belonging warming your heart.

Three:

The days flew by, each one brimming with new experiences and challenges that filled your senses with wonder. Your routine quickly settled into a rhythm that felt both invigorating and comforting: mornings filled with engaging lectures on architectural conservation, afternoons dedicated to sketching the breathtaking landscapes around you and diving into research, and evenings devoted to practicing basic Italian phrases and vocabulary. As the days passed, the vibrant city of Perugia slowly began to feel like home.

Every day at the University of Perugia unveiled something new, like peeling back the layers of a complex painting. The professors were not only knowledgeable; they were passionate, eager to share their insights and foster discussions that ignited your curiosity. Each lecture was a journey, leading you deeper into the intricacies of Italy’s architectural heritage. You spent hours in the university library, poring over texts that chronicled centuries of design and innovation, planning visits to historical sites that made your heart race with excitement. With every new detail you uncovered, your understanding of the country’s storied past grew, and you felt a deeper connection to the very stones and bricks that had shaped its cities.

Yet, despite the thrill of discovery, the language barrier continued to present formidable hurdles. Simple tasks, such as ordering a cappuccino or asking for directions, often morphed into frustrating battles. You found yourself relying heavily on gestures, fumbling for words, and chuckling at the miscommunications that inevitably arose. At times, it felt isolating, and the weight of loneliness pressed heavily on your chest. The café you frequented before classes buzzed with animated conversations in rapid Italian, laughter spilling over like the foamy milk of the cappuccinos being served. You often wondered if you would ever feel fully woven into the vibrant life in this enchanting city.

One particularly chilly afternoon, disaster struck. You returned to your apartment after a long day of lectures, only to discover that the heating had failed. A sense of dread washed over you as you realized the implications; the temperature was plummeting, and you needed to address the problem quickly before the cold seeped into your bones. You recalled seeing a number for a repair service posted in the hallway and decided to take action.

You rushed to your phone, your heart pounding in your chest as you dialed the number. The sound of the ringing filled the silence, amplifying your anxiety. When a voice finally answered, relief washed over you, but it was quickly overshadowed by a wave of panic. “Um, non funziona,” you stammered, realizing that your command of Italian was far from sufficient to communicate your urgent issue.

The voice on the other end responded rapidly in Italian, the words flowing like a rushing river. You frowned, trying desperately to catch snippets of meaning, but it was overwhelming. Desperation gripped you as you gestured helplessly, wishing you could convey your problem more clearly.

Just then, you heard a knock on your apartment door. You opened it to find a service man standing there, clipboard in hand, ready to assess the situation. His expression was friendly, but as he spoke, you quickly realized he was speaking in rapid Italian.

“Non capisco!” you exclaimed, feeling the panic rise within you. In a moment of inspiration, you dashed to the kitchen and grabbed your translation device, hoping it could bridge the gap. With a deep breath, you pressed the button and spoke into it, “The heating is not working.”

You held it out toward the service man, who glanced at it with a raised eyebrow. As he listened to the translated message, you could see a flicker of understanding cross his face, but he quickly replied with a string of technical terms that left you even more bewildered. Your heart sank as you struggled to keep up, the situation feeling increasingly hopeless.

Just as you were about to hang your head in defeat, a figure appeared in the hallway.

“Hey, is everything okay?” a young man asking in Japanese, stepping into your view. His dark hair fell just above his eyes, and he radiated a casual confidence that made you feel instantly at ease.

Yet, you blinked in surprise at his presence, not expecting someone to help you especially in a language that feels like home to you. “You speak Japanese?” you asked, a glimmer of hope igniting within you.

“Yes, I’m Yuki, your neighbor,” he replied with a friendly smile that melted away some of your anxiety. “Let me help.”

Relief flooded through you as he turned to the service man and began translating smoothly, effortlessly switching between Italian and Japanese. You watched in awe as he conveyed your issue, the service man nodding along, clearly understanding for the first time. The tension in your chest began to loosen, and you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you.

In mere minutes, Yuki had communicated the problem effectively, and the service man responded with assurance, gesturing for you to follow him to the heating unit. With Yuki translating the technical details, you learned about the issue at hand and the steps needed for repairs. His presence transformed the intimidating situation into something manageable, and you found yourself smiling as you listened.

After the service man left, you turned to Yuki, gratitude spilling from your lips in Japanese. “Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I have to run now, or I’ll be late to my meeting!”

As you scurried off, Yuki watched you leave, a mix of admiration and intrigue in his eyes. “She’s something else,” he thought, already pondering how to get to know you better. The warmth of human connection began to replace the earlier chill, leaving you with a sense of hope as you stepped out into the bustling streets of Perugia once more.

Four:

Days turned into a week, and you continued to navigate life in Perugia, where its rich culture began to unfold before you. The city slowly revealed its beauty, sun-drenched piazzas, charming cafes, and stunning vistas, but the language barrier persisted, creating a constant challenge. One serene afternoon, you found yourself in the garden of your apartment block, sketchbook in hand. The golden leaves danced in the autumn breeze, swirling gently to the ground, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to forget the struggles that lingered in the back of your mind.

Yuki had just returned to the apartment complex after a particularly intensive volleyball training session. He felt invigorated yet exhausted, the fresh air revitalizing him as he inhaled the sweet scent of blooming flowers wafting from the small garden shared by the residents. Deciding to take a moment to unwind, he stepped into the garden, his eyes scanning the peaceful scene before him.

To his delight, he spotted you sitting on a bench beneath a large olive tree, deeply engrossed in your sketching. Your pencil moved fluidly across the page, capturing the delicate play of light and shadow. A rush of warmth spread through him at the sight; there was something undeniably captivating about watching you in your element, completely absorbed in your passion.

Suddenly, you heard footsteps approaching. You looked up to see Yuki, relaxed in a simple t-shirt and joggers, a friendly smile on his face. “Hey, enjoying the garden?” he asked, his voice breaking the serene atmosphere.

You smiled back, feeling a warmth spread through you. “It’s beautiful here. I’ve always dreamed of coming to Italy, but… I’m struggling with the language.”

Yuki quickly took a seat beside you on the bench, considering your words thoughtfully. “I can help you with that. How about I teach you Italian, and you teach me English?”

Your heart leaped at the idea. “That sounds perfect! I’d love that!”

From that moment, you began your weekly meetups, gathering in each other’s apartments, surrounded by textbooks, notes, and the occasional stray sketch. The air was filled with laughter and the gentle hum of learning, punctuated by the occasional frustration as you fumbled through phrases. Each lesson felt like a dance, with Yuki patiently correcting your pronunciation while you helped him navigate the subtleties of slang.

“What’s the Italian word for ‘dream’?” you asked one evening, jotting it down in your notebook.

“‘Sogno.’ It’s a beautiful word, don’t you think?” he replied, a soft smile lighting up his face. “It holds a sense of longing, of hope.”

As the weeks passed, your conversations deepened, exploring not only language but also the stories that shaped you both. One evening, sitting on your balcony under the silvery glow of the moon, you turned to Yuki and said, “You know, I’ve always wanted to travel and see the world. But coming here… it’s more than I imagined. It’s like I’m not just discovering a new place; I’m discovering parts of myself I didn’t know were missing.”

Yuki leaned closer, intrigued. “What do you mean? What have you discovered about yourself?”

You hesitated, the weight of your thoughts grounding you. “I’ve always been the one to follow the rules, to stay in the lines. But here, I feel free to explore, to create. The architecture, the history,it speaks to me in a way I’ve never experienced before. It’s like I can finally breathe.”

His expression softened, and he nodded thoughtfully. “It’s amazing how a place can unlock something within us. What about your studies? Why did you choose architectural conservation?”

You took a deep breath, reflecting on the journey that had led you here. “I’ve always been captivated by the stories buildings tell. Every crack, every faded paint color,it's like they hold memories of the lives that came before. I want to preserve that history, to honor it. In a world that often pushes for the new and shiny, I believe there’s beauty in what’s old and worn. It deserves to be seen, to be understood.”

Yuki listened intently, his eyes bright with curiosity. “I can see how passionate you are about this. But why Italy? What draws you here specifically?”

You smiled, the memories flooding back. “As a child, I was entranced by Italian art and architecture. I’d spend hours in museums, dreaming of standing in front of a Renaissance painting or wandering through ancient ruins. Italy isn’t just a backdrop for my studies; it’s a living, breathing piece of art itself. It felt like destiny to come here.”

He leaned back, contemplating your words. “You have such a deep appreciation for history. But isn’t it intimidating to think about preserving something so grand and significant?”

You nodded, acknowledging the weight of the responsibility. “It is. But it also feels like a calling. I want to learn from the past to create a better future, even if it’s just one building at a time. It’s about connecting with people through these structures, sharing their stories.”

A moment of silence settled between you, the moonlight casting a serene glow. Yuki felt a newfound respect for you, captivated by your passion and depth. “That’s beautiful. You’re not just studying architecture; you’re crafting a narrative that will resonate long after you’re gone.”

Your heart swelled at his words. “Thank you, Yuki. That means a lot coming from you.”

As you spoke, the boundaries between you began to dissolve. You were no longer just a stranger in a foreign land; you were two souls intertwined in a shared journey of discovery. Your laughter filled the night air, each moment bringing you closer together. You realized that by opening up to each other, you had started to build a friendship that not only reflected the rich histories you both cherished but was also blossoming into something deeper — a relationship full of promise and connection.

Five:

As the weeks rolled on, the anticipation of your next nightly meeting with Yuki lingers in the back of your mind like a sweet melody. Classes were engaging, and you found yourself diving deeper into your research, but there was a lightness in your heart that made even the most tedious tasks feel enjoyable. The bond you were forming with Yuki. had brought a spark to your days, and you couldn’t wait to see where it might lead.

One evening, after a long day of lectures, you decided to unwind by scrolling through TikTok. As the videos flitted by, one caught your attention: a clip of a volleyball match featuring a player who moved with incredible agility and grace. You couldn’t help but stop, mesmerized by the power and finesse on display. The comment section was flooded with admiration for the athlete, and as you watched, a familiar face appeared on screen, Yuki.

Your jaw dropped as you recognized him, the same easy smile and familiar dark hair. You quickly scrolled through the comments, realizing he was the captain for the Japanese national team and a star player in the Italian league. The hours go by as you continually scroll through the app to learn more about your recently neighbour-turned-friend. Your mind raced, filled with questions. How had you not known? 

The next time you met Yuki in the garden, you could hardly contain your excitement. “Yuki, you didn’t tell me you were a famous volleyball player! I saw a video on TikTok of you playing! You’re amazing!” you exclaimed, your eyes wide with astonishment.

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck with a shy smile. “I didn’t think you would find out this way.”

“I can’t believe you’re a national team player! Why didn’t you tell me?” you pressed, still buzzing with disbelief.

“I guess I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” he replied, a hint of modesty in his tone. “I just love the sport. My older sister introduced me to volleyball when I was young, and I’ve been hooked ever since.”

“That’s amazing! What made you stick with it?” you asked, genuinely curious.

Yuki leaned back against the bench, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “It was more than just the game for me. It was a way to challenge myself, to grow both as an individual and as a player. When the opportunity came to play in Italy during my college years, I couldn’t resist. It felt like a chance to expand my horizons, experience a new culture, and improve my skills.”

You nodded, impressed by his journey. “So, how’s the league here compared to Japan?”

“It’s different, for sure,” he said, his eyes lighting up as he spoke about the sport. “The style of play, the atmosphere in the arenas, it's all unique. I’ve learned so much from my teammates here, and it’s been a rewarding experience.”

“What’s the biggest difference you’ve noticed?” you asked, leaning in, eager to hear more.

Yuki thought for a moment, then smiled. “In Japan, there’s a strong emphasis on precision and teamwork. Here, the players tend to be more individualistic, which creates a different kind of excitement. The energy in the stadiums is electric; the fans really get into it. It makes every match feel like an event.”

You could see the passion in his eyes, and it made you want to know more. “Do you have a favorite match or moment that stands out to you?”

His expression turned nostalgic. “Definitely. One match during the volleyball nations league finals in 2023 was unforgettable, it was the first time Japan won a medal in the VNLs. The game went into five sets, and the atmosphere was just insane. I remember making a crucial spike that turned the tide and closed the game. The roar of the crowd was deafening, it felt like everything I had trained for had come to fruition in that moment.”

“Wow, I can only imagine how exhilarating that must have been! Do you ever get nervous before a big game?” you asked, intrigued.

He laughed lightly, a hint of vulnerability in his voice. “All the time. But I’ve learned to channel that nervous energy into focus. It’s like a dance, you have to find your rhythm, or you’ll get lost in your head. Plus, having my teammates around helps. We support each other, and that bond is really special.”

You smiled, appreciating his perspective. “It sounds like you’ve built a great team dynamic. It’s so important to have that kind of support.”

“I’d love to see you play,” you said without thinking, your excitement bubbling over. “Do you have any upcoming games?”

Yuki’s expression brightened. “Actually, yes. We have a home game this Saturday. Would you like to come? It would mean a lot to me to have someone there supporting me.”

Your heart raced at the invitation. “I’d love to! What time is the game?”

“Starts at six. I can get you a ticket,” he offered, his enthusiasm palpable.

“You don’t have to go out of your way to do that for me, I can try to get the ticket myself. But thank you for the offer. Regardless I can’t wait to see you play live!” you thanked him, your excitement blending with a hint of nervousness. 

As the conversation flowed, you both discussed the logistics of the game, and you found yourself getting caught up in his passion for volleyball. It was a side of him that felt so vibrant and alive, and you felt lucky to be included in this part of his life.

When the day of the game finally arrived, you found yourself buzzing with anticipation. You dressed in comfortable clothes, deciding to wear a simple oversized jersey tucked neatly into the seams of your jeans. As you made your way to the arena, a mix of excitement and nerves fluttered in your stomach. This was a chance to see a different side of Yuki, and you were eager to experience it.

Upon arriving at the venue, you were greeted by the energetic atmosphere, the sounds of fans cheering, and the smell of popcorn wafting through the air. You spotted Yuki warming up on the court with his teammates, and your heart swelled with pride as you watched him move with such intensity and focus. 

As the match progressed, you found yourself completely immersed in the game, cheering along with the crowd. Every time Yuki scored a point, you erupted with joy, your excitement matching the energy of the fans around you. It was exhilarating, and you felt a newfound appreciation for the sport and for Yuki himself.

When the final whistle blew and the team celebrated their victory, you couldn’t help but join in their excitement. Yuki spotted you in the stands, a radiant smile breaking across his face as he jogged over, still glistening with sweat from the game. 

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked, breathless but beaming.

“It was incredible! You played so well!” you exclaimed, still riding the high of the match.

“Thanks! I’m glad you came. It means a lot to have your support,” he said, his expression warm and sincere. 

In that moment, surrounded by the buzz of victory and the vibrant energy of the arena, you realized just how deeply your feelings for him were growing. It was more than just friendship; there was something special blossoming between you, and you couldn’t wait to see where it would lead.

Six:

As spring blossomed in Perugia, the city transformed into a vibrant display of colors. Flowers burst into bloom, filling the air with their sweet fragrance and the promise of new beginnings. It had been several months since you first arrived in Italy, and as your internship at the University of Perugia neared its end, you found yourself reflecting on the incredible journey you had taken, not just in your studies, but in your relationship with Yuki.

The bond between you had deepened remarkably over the months. What had started as a friendship rooted in shared experiences and language lessons had evolved into something much more profound. You spent countless hours together exploring the charming streets of Perugia, visiting museums, sipping coffee at quaint cafés, and enjoying late-night dinners at local restaurants. Each outing felt like a new adventure, a chance to learn more about each other and the world around you.

One sunny afternoon, you found yourselves at the farmers’ market on a rare day off together, the lively atmosphere filled with laughter and chatter. Yuki walked beside you, calm and collected, a gentle smile playing on his lips as you bounced from stall to stall, your excitement palpable.

“Look at this!” you exclaimed, holding up a plump tomato. “These beauties are going to be the star for our sauce-off next pasta night!” You turned to him, beaming.

Yuki chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with amusement. “They certainly have potential,” he replied, his voice steady yet warm. “Just promise not to underestimate the power of love when cooking in the kitchen.”

You nudged him playfully. “Only if you promise not to use it as your secret ingredient!” His laughter felt like a soothing balm, easing the joy swirling around you.

As you wandered through the market, picking out ripe strawberries and fragrant basil, you marveled at how far you had come together. From art galleries filled with Renaissance masterpieces to lazy Sunday mornings sampling fresh produce and local delicacies, each shared moment deepened your bond. You even braved the bustling Christmas markets, bundled up in warm coats, exchanging playful banter as you browsed stalls filled with handmade crafts and seasonal treats.

With each shared experience, your feelings for Yuki grew stronger. His kindness, passion for volleyball, and genuine curiosity about the world drew you in like a moth to a flame. You admired how he balanced his athletic commitments, and his dedication inspired you to push harder in your own work. In turn, he found your determination and enthusiasm infectious, and the way you embraced every moment made him appreciate life in Italy even more.

Eventually, you made your way to the artisan corner of the market, where the air buzzed with creativity and the scents of handmade goods mingled with fresh produce. Colorful stalls displayed everything from intricate pottery to handwoven textiles, each one a testament to local craftsmanship. The vibrant atmosphere was alive with laughter and chatter, drawing you in like a warm embrace.

You spotted a vibrant scarf draped elegantly over one of the tables. Picking it up, you wrapped it around your shoulders and looked at Yuki expectantly, your eyes sparkling with mischief. He raised an eyebrow, a smirk forming on his lips. “You look like a fashionable grape,” he teased, his tone light and playful.

“Very funny!” you rolled your eyes at him, but a smile tugged at your lips despite your best efforts to feign annoyance. You were having too much fun to take him seriously. “What about these earrings?” you asked, holding up a pair of colorful dangling pieces that caught the light just right, their hues reflecting your excitement.

Yuki took a moment to consider them, his expression thoughtful. “Those might be a bit too bold,” he finally said, his voice steady. “You need a hat to balance it out. Something to bring the whole look together.”

“Alright, fashion critic,” you laughed, a challenge dancing in your eyes. You scanned the nearby stall and spotted a wide-brimmed hat perched jauntily on a display. Without hesitation, you picked it up and plopped it onto your head, striking a dramatic pose as if you were on a runway.

Yuki’s laughter filled the air, rich and soothing, wrapping around you like a warm hug. The sound was infectious, drawing smiles from passersby and making your heart race a little faster. In that moment, something shifted; the playful teasing felt charged with a new warmth. You exchanged glances, and a flicker of understanding passed between you, as if you were both aware of the deeper connection growing in the space between your playful banter.

This wasn’t just a day at the market; it was a moment full of potential, like the scarf and hat you wore, colors blending together that hinted at the beautiful growth of your relationship. Surrounded by the lively buzz of the market and the promise of what lay ahead, you felt a thrilling sense of possibility lingering in the air.

As you both finished exploring the artisan corner, your bags filled with vibrant finds, you glanced at Yuki, who was quietly admiring a delicate glass ornament he had picked up. “I think we’ve officially completed our market adventure,” you said, grinning.

“Agreed,” he replied, a calm smile on his face. “But I think we deserve a reward for our hard work. How about a stop at that café we saw on the way in? I hear they have the best pastries in town.”

Your eyes lit up at the suggestion. “That sounds perfect! I need something sweet after all that shopping.”

With the market behind you, the two of you strolled toward the cozy café, the air still buzzing. Yuki walked beside you, his presence steady and reassuring as you chattered excitedly about all the finds of the day. As you entered the café, the warm scent of freshly baked goods enveloped you, making your stomach rumble in anticipation. The café was charming, with rustic wooden tables and twinkling fairy lights that added to the inviting atmosphere.

You approached the counter, scanning the display of decadent desserts. “Look at all these choices!” you exclaimed, pointing to a beautifully layered cake that seemed to call your name. “I have to try that!”

Yuki nodded, his gaze calm and focused. “That looks good, and we can’t leave without getting their famous hot chocolate.”

After placing your order, two steaming mugs of rich hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and a selection of pastries, including the layered cake and some tiramisu, you found a cozy corner table by the window. You settled in, the warmth of the café enveloping you as you watched the world outside, where the lights danced against the evening sky.

As you sipped your hot chocolate, you couldn’t help but smile at Yuki. “This is the best way to end our day. Just look at everything we’ve accomplished!”

He took a sip of his drink, nodding appreciatively. “Absolutely. And we still have dessert to look forward to.” 

You shared the desserts, each bite sweeter than the last, and the conversation flowed effortlessly between you. Laughter filled the air as you exchanged stories and silly banter, both of you completely absorbed in the moment. Yuki listened intently, responding with a soft chuckle or a thoughtful nod, his calm demeanor providing a comforting balance to your excitement.

With each shared smile and gentle touch, the bond between you felt even stronger, creating a collection of memories that you knew would last far beyond this magical day. As you prepared to head home, a sense of contentment settled in, the possibilities of what lay ahead blooming in your heart like the vibrant colors of the market. You knew this was just the beginning of many more adventures together.

Later that evening, back at your apartment after a long day, you lounged on the couch, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light over the room. You turned to Yuki, recalling how every moment spent together had brought you closer, solidifying your bond.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Yuki asked, leaning back with a nostalgic smile. “I was nervous about helping you with the repairman.”

You chuckled, recalling how flustered you had been that day. “Really? I didn’t even know! I was panicking, thinking I’d never figure anything out without your help. I can’t believe how far we’ve come since then.”

“Yeah, it’s like we’ve become a team,” he said, his gaze steady on you. “I can’t imagine my time here without you.”

The weight of his words settled in the air, and for a moment, silence enveloped you both. You felt a flutter of something, a shared understanding that your friendship had shifted into deeper territory. The thought of returning to Japan in a few weeks loomed over you, casting a shadow of uncertainty.

“What are you thinking?” Yuki asked gently, sensing your contemplation.

You took a deep breath, heart racing as you chose your words carefully. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our friendship… and what’s going to happen when I go back to Japan. I’m excited to finish my thesis, but I’m really going to miss this. I’m going to miss us.”

He nodded, his expression turning serious. “I’ve been feeling the same way. This place, the experiences we’ve shared,they’ve meant so much to me. I didn’t expect to form such a close bond with you.”

As he spoke, your heart pounded in your chest. The air crackled with tension, and you could feel the shift in the dynamic between you. You both had been dancing around your feelings for weeks, and now it seemed the moment had finally arrived.

“I think what we have is special,” you admitted, looking into his eyes. “But I’m scared. I don’t know what it looks like when I go back. I don’t want to lose what we’ve built here.”

Yuki leaned forward, his gaze intense. “You won’t lose it. We can figure it out together. I want to keep this connection alive, no matter the distance.”

Your breath caught at his words, a sense of hope blooming within you. “Really? You mean that?”

“Of course. I’d like to explore what this could be,” he said, his voice firm yet gentle. “I don’t want to put pressure on you, but I feel something more here. And I want to see where it leads.”

The warmth of his words enveloped you, and you felt a wave of relief and excitement wash over you. You both leaned in closer, the space between you charged with possibility. The idea of a romance blossoming felt thrilling yet daunting, but you couldn’t ignore the connection that had grown between you.

“So what does that look like for us?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, the reality of the situation settling in.

He paused, contemplating. “Well, for starters, we can make a plan to visit each other. I can come to Japan during my off-season, and you can come back here when you can. Plus, we can always video chat and keep texting.”

“Yeah, I’d love that,” you said, nodding, but a thought nagged at you. “But what if things change? What if we grow apart?”

“Change is inevitable,” he replied, his sincerity shining through. “But I believe we can adapt. We’ve both grown so much during our time here, and we can keep growing together. Our experiences shape us, but they can also strengthen our connection if we let them.”

You felt comforted by his words. “You’re right. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and it scares me. But it also feels right.”

Yuki smiled softly, his expression tender. “Me too. I want to be there for you, even from afar. I’ll support you with your thesis and all your future plans. And I want you to be there for me when I have games and tournaments.”

A playful smile crept across your face. “You mean I’ll have to learn how to cheer for you in Italian now? That’s going to be a challenge!”

He laughed, the sound rich and warm. “I’ll help you with that! But honestly, I just want you in the stands, cheering me on. It would mean the world to have you there.”

“Deal,” you replied, your heart swelling at the thought of supporting him.

“But beyond just cheering,” he continued, his voice growing serious, “I want you to be part of my life, to understand the things that are important to me, just like I want to understand yours. It’s more than just distance; it’s about really sharing our lives.”

“Absolutely,” you agreed. “I want to know everything, your daily routines, your training, even your favorite post-game meals. And you’ll have to tell me all about your family and life back in Japan. I want to understand the real you.”

Yuki nodded, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “And I want you to show me your world, too. I want to visit your favorite places in Japan and meet your friends. I want to know more about you, just like you will learn more about me.”

As the evening wore on, you both continued to talk, sharing hopes and dreams, crafting a vision of a future filled with adventures together. The laughter and warmth that filled the room made it feel like anything was possible.

With a newfound resolve, you both made a silent agreement to embrace whatever came next. For now, you were here together in this beautiful moment, ready to see where your journey would take you. The possibilities stretched out before you like the blooming flowers of spring, and you felt a renewed sense of excitement for what lay ahead.

Seven:

Returning to Japan was a bittersweet experience. The familiar sights and sounds of Tokyo enveloped you, yet they felt strangely different, transformed by your time abroad. The bustling streets, the scent of street food wafting through the air, and the vibrant energy of the city reminded you of home, but they also brought back memories of Italy - the warmth of the sun on your skin, the laughter shared over meals, and the enchanting cobblestone streets of Perugia. You had left as a passionate student and returned as someone shaped by profound experiences, both academic and personal, particularly your blossoming relationship with Yuki.

As graduation day approached, the atmosphere buzzed with anticipation. The University of Tokyo, renowned for its rigorous academic programs, was a place of pride, and the excitement of the upcoming ceremony filled the air. Friends and family gathered, and you felt a mixture of nerves and pride at the thought of standing before everyone as the valedictorian. It was an honor you had never anticipated, and the weight of that responsibility felt both thrilling and daunting.

On the day of the ceremony, you slipped into your cap and gown, your heart racing with both pride and anxiety. You took a moment to look in the mirror, smoothing down the fabric and adjusting your cap. You thought of how much you had grown over the past few years and how much you had learned about yourself. The thought of Yuki filled your mind, and a bittersweet smile crept onto your face wishing he would be here to celebrate your special day together.

As you arrived at the university hall, the grand space was filled with graduates in their caps and gowns, family members taking pictures, and the chatter of anticipation echoing off the walls. The sight of your friends, who had supported you through countless late-night study sessions and group projects, made you feel grateful. They had been your rock, and now you were about to embark on a new chapter of your life, one that included Yuki in a way you had never expected.

When it was time for your speech, you took a deep breath, stepping up to the podium. The audience was filled with familiar faces - your friends, family, and faculty members who had guided you through your studies. You glanced around, and there, amid the sea of graduates and supporters, you spotted Yuki sitting proudly beside your friends. His presence shocked you as you were not expecting him to be there, and yet you felt a surge of happiness at his presence. 

“Good afternoon, esteemed faculty, family, friends, and fellow graduates,” you began, your voice steady and clear as you looked out at the crowd. “Today marks a significant milestone in our lives, a celebration of our hard work and perseverance. As I stand here, I am reminded of the incredible journey that brought me to this moment.”

You spoke about your experiences at the University of Tokyo, recounting the late nights spent in the library, the professors who inspired you, and the challenges that shaped your academic path. “I was fortunate enough to be presented with a unique opportunity to study architectural conservation in Italy. This experience was not only about expanding my knowledge but also about discovering who I am.”

As you shared stories of the people you met and the places you explored, your gaze drifted back to Yuki. He was leaning forward, a warm smile on his face, his eyes shining with pride. The sight filled you with warmth and strength as you continued, recounting how your time in Italy had broadened your horizons, enriched your life, and ultimately led to a profound connection with someone who had become a crucial part of your journey.

“During my time abroad, I learned that the world is vast and filled with opportunities for growth,” you said, your voice gaining momentum. “But more importantly, I discovered the value of connection. The friendships I forged and the love I found have made all the difference.”

You looked out at the audience, your heart swelling with emotion. “I remember feeling lost in a new city, struggling to communicate, yet I found a neighbor who became a friend, a mentor, and something even more special. The bond we formed taught me that sometimes, the people we least expect to touch our lives can change everything.”

The crowd erupted into applause, and you could feel the support wrapping around you like a warm blanket. You noticed your family beaming with pride, and your friends were clapping enthusiastically, but it was Yuki’s unwavering gaze that kept you grounded. He was your rock, your partner in this journey, and you couldn’t help but feel grateful for the love that had blossomed between you.

As you concluded your speech, you felt a rush of adrenaline. “Today, as we celebrate our achievements, let us remember that we are not just graduates. We are explorers, dreamers, and builders of our futures. And no matter where life takes us, the connections we make will always guide us forward.”

With that, you stepped back from the podium, applause crashing over you like waves. You took a moment to soak in the atmosphere, feeling exhilarated and relieved. The ceremony felt surreal, and you spotted Yuki standing, clapping enthusiastically, his eyes sparkling with pride. Your heart swelled as you realized just how far you had come, from strangers to neighbors, from friends to a couple deeply supporting each other.

After the ceremony, you stepped off the stage, a mixture of relief and joy washing over you. Friends and family surrounded you, offering hugs and congratulations, but all you could think about was Yuki. You made your way through the crowd, your heart racing with anticipation.

Finally, you spotted him waiting for you, his face lighting up as your eyes met. He stepped forward, enveloping you in a warm embrace that felt like coming home. “You were incredible. I’m so proud of you,” he said, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

“Thank you! I couldn’t have done it without your support,” you replied, pulling back to look into his eyes. “It means so much to me that you’re here.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” he said, a soft smile playing on his lips. “You’ve achieved so much, and I’m honored to be part of your journey.”

You stood there, the noise of the crowd fading into the background, lost in the moment. It felt surreal to have him by your side after all that had happened. You had grown together, navigating challenges and triumphs hand in hand.

As the festivities continued around you, he leaned in closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “What’s next for us?” 

You smiled, eyes sparkling with excitement. “Well, we have so many places to explore together! I’ve been wanting to go to this cute otter cafe in Harajuku but I didn’t want to go alone. But now that you’re here, I finally have a reason to go!” you excitedly tell him, while holding his hand and ushering him along to finally meet your family. 

With laughter and shared stories, you both stepped back into the bustling crowd, ready to celebrate not just your accomplishments, but the journey ahead together. The day felt like the beginning of everything, a promise of more adventures, love, and support as you embraced the future together.

Epilogue:

The next weekend, after the whirlwind of graduation festivities, you and Yuki decided to treat yourselves to a day of fun. The thought of visiting the otter cafe in Harajuku filled you with excitement, and you could hardly contain your giggles as you made your way there.

When you arrived, the cafe was a cozy little haven filled with the soft sounds of water splashing and playful chirps from the otters. The friendly staff led you to a designated area where you could interact with the otters, and you could already see them swimming gracefully in their enclosure.

As you settled in, the otters began to take notice of Yuki. At 192 cm, he was an imposing figure, and it didn’t take long for a particularly adventurous otter to swim up to him. Without hesitation, it scrambled onto Yuki's shoulder.

“Uh, hello there,” Yuki said, trying to maintain his composure as the otter settled in. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Look at you! You’ve got an otter on your shoulder!” you teased, grabbing your phone to capture the moment. 

“I didn’t sign up for this,” he replied, trying to gently nudge the otter off. But before he could, another otter climbed up his other arm, causing him to squirm slightly. “They’re really persistent!”

You were doubled over with laughter now, holding your phone up to record as one particularly bold otter made its way onto Yuki’s head. “Oh my gosh, this is the best!” you exclaimed, barely able to catch your breath.

“Please tell me this isn’t going to be on social media,” Yuki groaned, a mix of exasperation and humor in his voice as the otters seemed to make him their personal jungle gym. 

You couldn’t resist. “I’m sending this to your sisters! They need to see their ‘tall otter’ brother in action!”

“Not my sisters! They’ll never let me live this down!” he protested, but the playful glint in his eyes betrayed how much he was enjoying the moment, even if he would never admit it.

“Look at them! They love you!” you laughed, your phone capturing every second of Yuki's predicament as the otters scampered up and down his arms, occasionally pausing to peer at him curiously. One even made itself comfortable on his head, causing him to tilt sideways in an attempt to balance.

“Why are they so drawn to me?” Yuki asked, feigning exasperation. “Am I some kind of otter magnet?”

You shook your head, tears of laughter forming in your eyes. “Maybe they think you’re a giant otter! Just look at that one on your head! You’ve become their throne!”

Yuki finally managed to free himself of one of the otters, only for another to take its place. “This is a nightmare!” he said dramatically, though you could see the hint of a smile lurking on his lips.

“More like a dream for me!” you replied, continuing to film. “Your sisters are going to love this!”

“Please, no more videos,” he pleaded, but you could see he was secretly amused, the way his shoulders relaxed even amidst the chaos.

As the hour went by, you enjoyed every second of Yuki's playful misery. The otters eventually climbed down, allowing him to regain his composure, but you couldn’t shake the laughter that had filled the space.

When it was finally time to leave the cafe, Yuki looked at you, shaking his head with a mock-serious expression. “You’re so mean, laughing at my plight. I’m going to hear about this for ages.”

You leaned closer, your heart full of warmth. “But you have to admit it was worth it. Besides, you looked adorable!”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress a grin. “Only you could make me enjoy being a human playground for otters.”

As you walked through the bustling streets of Harajuku, hand in hand, you felt a sense of joy radiating between you. The laughter, the shared moments, and even Yuki's good-natured misery made everything feel alive with possibilities. With every adventure, big or small, you knew that your bond was growing deeper, and you couldn’t wait for what lay ahead together.

Hi guys! I hope you guys enjoyed this writing, definitely longer than my first one but will definitely not be the last. If you guys have any suggestions or requests for stories, let me know! I am quite interested in writing stories for the other members, as well as people in the k-pop scene ♡ Don't forget to like and comment if you enjoyed reading this story!

[lady-phasma]

I'm still here. I'm still on this bench with them.

Anne Rice wrote a series of BDSM erotica books under the pen name A. N. Roquelaure, The Sleeping Beauty Series. She understood the Dom/sub dynamic and I am convinced she would be pleased with the way this was handled.

I will not move on, but these two moments are so impactful. The organic way that they understood each other. Jacob's delivery of his line "You sure about that, Arun?" is so in character with his New Orleans persona. Armand's default setting is submission, he didn't hesitate to use the honorific. When we see him speak it a second time, Assad's performance expresses the sincere disappointment at having his trigger word invoked. (Here's a post where I discuss his trigger word because I am completely normal about this.)

They are equals, they fight like equals (toxic but equal), but there is something in each of them that responds to the inherent role of the other. Anne didn't have this scenario play out in her books, yet I believe she would approve of the way this was portrayed. There is no discussion for the benefit of the audience, they do not spell out what these words mean to them. It's not "if you know, you know," it's "this is how some people live, who they are when they are in their intimate relationships."

I mention the Sleeping Beauty series for people who are new to Anne Rice because of Interview. It's not at all like her Vampire Chronicles, but everything that she put in those books is subtext for the Chronicles. She wrote "progressive" (read: controversial) novels for the time period and even within the erotica genre, Sleeping Beauty, was controversial. In fact, almost a third of The Vampire Armand would be considered nearly a "dead dove" by fanfiction standards. I know representation on screen is important for all of us and maybe my passion about Anne, her characters, and this portrayal is a little too revealing about myself, but I am genuinely overjoyed at the subtlety used in depicting this relationship. Their D/s dynamic does not become the subject, the subject remains their toxic relationship and all its nuances. This dynamic serves to make them more dimensional.

[the-doomed-witch]

hey boo, can u make 1800's reader and married nat having secret affair but reader convinces nat to run away with her somewhere else where they can live and love peacefully, inspired by ivy and the lakes

MAGNIFICENTLY CURSED

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: You question your need for running away with the woman you love passionately, but her dreamy desires do it for you anyway. // based on ivy by Taylor Swift; the lakes by Taylor Swift

Word Count: 1.0k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS+MEN DNI. set in the 1800s, infidelity, homophobia + closeting, allusions to smut not really described, nat is like a whole ass poet bro i will cry 😭

SEND ME REQUESTS BASED ON TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS

Author’s Note: hi anon, i hope this justifies your request <3 obviously this is emisue-dead poets society-anne with an e-elizabeth bennet coded bc i’m a raging lesbian with an obsession with the 1800s for no reason at all🤭

MASTERLIST // NAVIGATION

— ✦ —

Stealing glances with Natasha was the glory of her. She was a distinguished woman, known to be married to one of the most revered men in town. The ladies at the lunch discussed stories of her well established marriage, but no one knew the truth except you, and Natasha.

Sometimes you would go to meet her, with the excuse of needing to talk with her clinquishly. Her husband was a fine fellow, a gentleman who’d welcome you to their warm domicile, and let you take your time alone with his wife.

On the days when your blood boiled with envy of his nauseating smile, you’d meet her in forbidden places, near rivers of estrangement, and away from the common folk.

She held no love for him, you weren’t oblivious like the neighbourhood women. What made you bitter was the way he was associated with her throughout the town. He was the one credited with your efforts of making her the happiest woman around.

Oh how you longed for Natasha to be known as your lady.

But it’s worth struggling for, when she touches your lips, when she kisses them, and when her hands entangle with yours. “My most beloved,” she addresses you every time before she dares to break the space between the two of you. You respond, “Yes, my lady.” before leaning in.

It’s been years of meeting Natasha in darkness and in delight, touching her as if speaking of poetry. Your hands find their place in the heat beneath her gown, leaving her to the euphoria of gushing. She does the same for you in return, sometimes sitting on her knees to have a peek of what her fingers feel.

You have a rendezvous in the privacy of her own house, while he’s patiently sitting on the porch, doing something like pretending to read a newspaper. She sighs loudly against your kiss, it’s almost romantical.

He knocks on the shut door, asking if everything was alright. You break your contact with her abruptly, and answer him with a loud, stern voice, “Yes, Natasha is trying a new corset I brought along with me. Nothing to worry about.” He walks away with not a single penny of care, unbeknownst to everything you could do only if his wife had her corset taken off.

“I sense something bizarre about you today, my love.” she remarks, pushing your back against the stone cold wall, opposite to which is sat the notorious husband. To think the two of you could be vulnerable within inches was a terrifying thought. “I don’t think standing here is a good idea..”

“What would he even do if he finds us out? He can burn this house all he wants, at least my death greets me with you in my arms.”

“Natasha…”

“Tell me what is troubling you, my Y/N. What is so tragical that I can’t take it away from you?”

Her poetic mouth never failed to leave you enraptured. “W- well, all I've thought of since the past nights is running away. I mean to take you along, but I’m troubled by all the presumed consequences.”

“You meaning to take me along is singularly the greatest thing I’ve heard. To be with my muse, in a place where all the poets went to die, is a privilege I'm blessed to have.”

“I don’t belong, and Natasha, neither do you, you understand it, and I know it. But going out into the wild, with no shelter to take? I’m worried to death.”

“Again, my beloved, at least death greets us with you in my arms. I don’t fear it.”

You entwine your finger in her fierce red hair, and pull her face close to yours till you can hear her breathe and feel her heart pound against your chest and tell her, “Your musings, God, they make me want to be with you all the time, alone. Your poetry is the sole reason I live, dearest.”

“You’re the sole reason my poetry lives. You’re my muse, Y/N.”

You push her against her vanity, with an attempt to taste her delicacy, this time not confining her sounds to your secrecy. You lift up your leg, to give Natasha a place for grinding slowly. The skirt of her apron is lifted, along with her pale yellow dress.

The door smashes open, with her husband walking in, “You’ve been alone for far too- What is going on here?!”

Natasha speaks in a fake pleading voice, “Sir, let me explain to you.” before she gives you a long kiss, and grabs your hand. She squeezes your palm, hinting you to follow her along.

His chin falls agape, the green nerves of around his wrist pop out, irefully.

“What monstrosity is this, Natasha? I thought you were a pristine lady, but evidently you’re a disgustful woman! You should be- Get away from her Y/N!” He comes forward to push you away, but she doesn’t let him finish, and runs out of the house with you.

You hold up your dress to make yourself a room to run with her through the fields. After fleeing for a while, you notice he has missed the trail. So she tugs your arm again, making you run till you reach the illustrious lake, till you’re out of breath.

She laughs as you hold her in an embrace, and screams towards the deserted forests and mountains on the other side of the lake, “I can feel the freedom in me. I can feel it in my blood!” Her voice echoes back at you.

You join her laughter, eyes filled with tears, and cry out, “I am in love with Natasha! I am a woman, and I wholeheartedly love another.” She pecks your lips repeatedly, till you can’t stop laughing and hold her blushing red cheeks away from yours, “We’ll find ourselves a home, we’ll find us a way to live. I promise you.”

You lace her gentle hands with yours. They’re cold with the breeze and the disquietude. You grasp her untamed heart, and she cleaves on to your pain.

[horse-girl-anthy]

this passage from the Kotani interview has long fascinated me:

Kotani: In the middle part of the tv series is the story of the Black Rose Society (Nemuro Memorial Hall). It's stylized, weird and creepy. Personally, I really liked that part. Ikuhara: That's something women like. That part was difficult for me though. Kotani: I thought the stylization was really excellent. There's the arrow symbols, and the confession in the elevator. When the elevator stops, there is a morgue-like place, with jumbled rows of coffins. It feels dark and mysterious. You know, I like bondage stuff (laugh). Basically, I like deviation, I want to escape away, but if you are not oppressed there is no way to escape. In order to deviate, you have to first be tied up. The Black Rose Society particularly emphasizes that, doesn't it? You have some worries, so first of all, someone will slowly look them over. Places of surveillance as places of bondage—e.g. a military unit, a monastery, or a dorm becomes an excellent stage setting, right? Ikuhara: I like it too. But by deviance, do you mean sexual deviance? Kotani: Deviance from the system. A community with rules, where there is someone like a dorm supervisor who runs a tight ship, and you escape from it.

"escape" has been one of the central fantasies of my life. Kotani and Ikuhara go on to talk about sexuality and the relationship of bondage to it, as well as to gender. all of that resonates with me; this kind of dynamic certainly has sexual manifestations. but it doesn't have to be expressed sexually. for as long as I can remember, I've been interested in stories of captivity, coercion, and control--with escape often as the climax of such fantasies.

before reading this interview, I didn't make the connection between my "kink" for domination/submission and RGU. it didn't make me feel the things I'm looking for in those kind of stories. I'm drawn to visceral examples of domination, like imprisonment, forced relationships, controlling communities, etc.

Kotani and Ikuhara also discuss RGU's similarities to dynamics in yaoi, specifically the Akio/Anthy/Utena triangle. that's where the "bondage" element of RGU can be felt most strongly. however, it was somehow missing the passion I found in other stories.

speaking of Anne Rice's Beauty series, Kotani says:

In the story, [forced submission] keeps happening; ordinarily, since everyone is put in a position like Anthy's, you would expect them to hate it, but in fact they don't (laugh).

I connect to this to what she said above about having first to be tied up in order to deviate. my desire for escape is so strong that my subconscious will literally create dreams in which I am first held captive and then break free. would I be this way if I hadn't been raised in a repressive community? maybe not. but the fact remains that I am now drawn to domination and to submission.

but in real life, domination is horrible. it gets under your skin and makes you feel dirty. and the more subtle its means, the more difficult it is to extricate yourself. perhaps one of the reasons I found RGU so hard to watch the first time I sat through it is that it robbed me of my enjoyment in domination/submission. the ways in which Akio exercised power were underhanded and manipulative--they were designed to go unnoticed, making them far more dangerous psychologically than, say, being physically tied up. he was even able to deny his own power in the situation, setting things up so well that he could turn things back on those he harmed.

RGU is erotic. it is erotic even in its most disturbing scenes--Akio's "nights alone" with Utena and Anthy. but there was none of the thrill in it for me that I got out of yaoi. there weren't any of the enjoyable power struggles that I found in more conventional narratives. hanging over the final 10 episodes was a sense of sickness, perversion, that didn't arise from the subject matter per se, but rather from how it was presented. there was a light touch to it, a reserve. it was unflinching but subtle.

most disturbingly, I think, the story weaved into the domination/submission narrative the question of dependency. as in, Utena and Anthy are not only in the situation they find themselves in due to coercion, but also due to their psychological need for Akio. in submission, I wanted to find a loss of responsibility--I wanted to be rendered helpless "against my own will." by being controlled, I would no longer have to be an agent, freeing me from the burden of selfhood. there was an appeal in it beyond just the desire to escape that I didn't want to admit. to face my complicity in my own subjugation was frightening--to admit it would be like saying I wanted, deserved, mistreatment.

of course, Akio does try to create and maintain said dependency, and there is a serious age/power differential between the characters. but I think the seductiveness of domination and the ease with which one can choose to submit are a major themes of RGU. I like stories of overt violence and captivity because they blow up, dramatize the far more common forms of control we experience in social systems. in RGU, the bonds are in the mind, not on the body. their slipperiness makes them nauseating, not titilating.

thus, RGU didn't give me my usual enjoyment in the sense of "being under someone's thumb." but it did give me one of the most satisfying escapes that I've ever experienced in my life.

episode 39 pulls back the curtains to reveal what submission means. I don't think there's anything wrong with bondage/escape fantasies, but there's something to be said for acknowledging reality. Anthy is the representation of the part of every woman (every person) who's ever had to take a blow, or swallow an objection, or resign themselves to cruelty. if Utena gave in to Akio, she would be not only turning away from a friend in need, but also denying herself--locking away her internal "Rose Bride."

Utena ultimately defies Akio and Anthy is freed entirely--freed even from dependency. then the show makes clear what had previously been obscured, that Akio was just as dependent on Anthy as she was on him, if not more so. this turns the established power dynamics upside down, completing the revolution. what makes this ending so powerful is that it has finality to it: the cycle of domination and submission will no longer perpetuate itself, as it is no longer needed. by dramatizing the ugliness of domination, RGU is able to paint a realistic picture of the road to liberation.

[heather123fan-blog]

Firebrand-Catherine Parr 2024

Hello all,

So I am American and got the opportunity to see Firebrand today after I got off work in the afternoon. It premiered today, June 14th, in the United States. I loved it and thought it did a great job of authentically portraying the characters from this period of Henry VIII's reign. However, there were a few things I didn't care for that deviated pretty significantly from the historical record.

The good parts:

Catherine Parr's relationship w/Princess Elizabeth. I was so scared that the screenwriters would mess up their story knowing the atrocious novel this is based on but I was pleasantly surprised at how they handled it. Catherine was portrayed accurately as a very loving, protective mother to both Elizabeth and Edward. Someone who cared about them deeply and encouraged their Protestant education. There are a few scenes where they share a bed together, Catherine comforts both children and discusses Elizabeth's Latin translation of the Bible with her. Edward even runs up to her, hugs her and calls her Mama in one scene. That was so sweet!

Catherine also has a good relationship w/Princess Mary though their relationship is more of a friendship as opposed to a mother-daughter bond. As it was in real life.

Mary's portrayal wasn't great but could've been worse. She reminded me of the actress who played her in Wolfhall.

Henry VIII was portrayed as extremely monstrous and cruel to those around him. His entire court is terrified of him.

He is abusive towards Catherine Parr but thankfully the violence wasn't too graphic or excessive.

Catherine Parr oh my goodness this is probably the best portrayal of her I've ever seen. She is brave, bold, intelligent, charismatic and passionate about reforming the Church of England.

The film did a fantastic job of depicting her Protestant faith and how that was such an anchor for her life. Unlike BE's Catherine she has ambitions and goals that are deeply rooted in her religious beliefs.

Her scenes as Regent were great. Her relationship with Anne Askew is depicted as being a close friendship as opposed to mere acquaintance. This might be stretching things too much but was fun to see explored.

The costumes, props, and set design were amazing. Wonderful attention to detail. Henry VIII even plays Pastime with Good Company on I believe the piano at one point.

[onceonafullmoon]

Could we please get some general romantic relationship headcanons for Ann, Makoto, Futaba, and Haru?

Relationship HCs of Ann, Makoto, Futaba and Haru

No warnings just fluff!

Ann

She’s the type to remember everything, literally, everything, but only when it comes to you.

Anniversaries and your birthday are a given of course, but it extends to events you have to attend, hobbies and every little thing about you.

Like… Ann, you can’t remember any date in history class, but somehow you know your s/o’s least favorite type of skittle?

That being said she can be a bit… scatterbrained when it comes to her own things, so most of your time will double as her personal calendar.

Shopping dates? Shopping dates.

She will drag you (or not depending on how much you like shopping) to the nearest shop and make you try on a ridiculous amount of clothes.

All of it will suit you, she pays close attention to your personal sense of style, much to the point where you wouldn’t be sure if you picked something out yourself.

The Queen of PDA, let me tell you.

Contantly holding your hand, having her arm around you, playing with your hair, sitting in your lap... all of that

Definitely wouldn't just straight up make out with you in public though lmao

Its just enough so that everyone else knows that you're taken

Not because she's the jealous type though (she is, don't believe her)

All in all, a very sweet and caring girlfriend, who might at times be a bit too head over heels in love

Makoto

She's an acts of service girl for sure, like if she can do anything for you, she. will.

No buts, ifs or ands she will do almost anything

Oh, you're hungry? Already made you a snack. You need help with homework? She'll walk you through the lesson again. Need to hide a body? Well, she probably won't do that, but then again who knows?

She's more shy about showing verbal and physical affection comparatively

Not that she won't try if that's your love language!

She just needs time to grow more accustomed to it, but she'll do anything to make you feel cherished

Of course, this is a two way street

Make sure to tell her how much she means to you and how proud of her you are, gods know she needs it

Ideal dates for the both of you would be somewhere quiet and lowkey where you can talk

Read: where she can hear you talk

She really likes to hear you talk about things you're passionate about, just something about the way your eyes sparkle makes her fall even harder for you

If you're the shy type she has no problem ordering for you in public/ standing up for you should you need it

Can actually be quite overprotective at times, not to the point where it's stiffling though

In all, a strong girlfriend who needs to be cherished in private

Haru

Don't let the princess vibe fool you, in this relationship she's doing all the pampering

Not to an extreme extent of course

Just, if you happen to spot something that catches your eye in a store, you might magically find it hidden away in your room as a surprise

You can try to stop her from doing this, but you will not be sucessful

Anyways, she's a really good listener and she especially enjoys whenever you take the time to rant about something or tell her something interesting that happened to you.

Her guilty pleasure is listening to your gossip

Not that you spread any malicious rumors, just harmless things like "I think so and so has a crush on him"

Very very easy to make flustered

Just tell her how pretty she looks or how smart you think she is and she's instantly beet red

Feel free to tease her for this, but don't take it too far or she'll shut you up with a kiss

(yeah she doesn't really offer much incentive to stop)

Her second guilty pleasure is romance novels and you both frequently have book dates where you both discuss the novel you've read.

Its kind of amusing to watch her get so passionate about it.

Feel free to tell her that and you'll be rewarded with another blush

Basically, she's a sweetheart who should be treasured and will treasure you.

Futaba

First of all, be prepared for a lot of being glared at by Sojiro if you're male presenting.

I'm so sorry but it just comes with the territory

Anyways, shes the type of girl who prefers quality time above all else, so you'll find that most of your down time will be spent with her.

Not to an unhealthy extent of course, just more so than the usual couple.

Of course, you can't be with eachother all the time, so she periodically texts you throught the day, mostly just sharing memes and mini updates about her day.

Gaming dates

Even if you aren't very good at video games she'll still want to play with you, in fact, if you aren't good its better for her so that she can show off to you

If you are good then she'll be proud that you can keep up with her

Anyways not all of your dates will take place within the confines of a house.

Once in a while you'll manage to drag her out to go to Akihabara to look around the shops

She's still working through her social anxiety, so do your best to encourage her and support her

She'll frequently get you to watch all her favorite shows and then will rant excitedly to you about them

You'll just smile and nod as she does so, not quite understanding all the intricacies of her headcannons and character analyses

Basically, she can be kind of clingy, but she's fun to be around and makes you happy.

[edwardseymour]

Anne of Cleves and Catherine Howard's relationship? I have seen many discussions

✨ terfs/zionists fuck off ✨

i am of the perhaps controversial opinion that they didn’t have a positive — or, rather, a close relationship. and i think it’s much more interesting that way.

it is interesting how the idea of ‘the other woman’ doesn’t really get applied to katherine howard during her time in anna’s household, in the same way it does anne boleyn and jane seymour. in large part this can be explained both by katherine’s obvious youth and anna’s lack of genuine love or passion with henry… but nevertheless, that is very much katherine and anna’s dynamic. they had no opportunity to establish any other, as there was a language and status barrier. to what extent was katherine involved in those awkward, probing conversations between anna and her ladies, exposing anna’s lack of intimacy with her husband? surely they could not have been close, as anna is not recorded as having much involvement with katherine in her capacity as her mistress, and katherine never expressed any loyalty towards anna. anna clearly resented katherine’s relationship with henry while queen: “on 20 june, she complained vigorously about [katherine] to the cleves agent in london, karl harst” (starkey); katherine evidently felt insecure about anna as a potential rival: “henry noticed that katherine was in low spirits, and when he asked her why ‘she said it was owing to a rumour that he was going to take back anne of cleves’. […] katherine reacted to it and even, in her weaker moments, found it credible” (russell).

i’ve seen it argued that they got along very well because of their performance over christmas, but in actuality i think that argument dismisses the fact that it was very much that: a performance. the pair fulfilled their social obligations — during a time of religious observance — anna by acting the loyal supplicant to her new king and his wife, upon whom she owed her position, and katherine by acting out the role of generous wife and queen, and court hostess. especially since they had to act as family members to one another, since anna was the king’s “beloved sister”, and therefore katherine’s sister, too. and clearly impressing a sense of etiquette and rank as queen was a concern of katherine’s (from norton: “katherine was in a state of nerves about how to receive her predecessor and she kept anna waiting while she discussed the correct etiquette for a current queen meeting an ex-queen with henry’s lord chancellor”)… not least because rumours were circulating around this time that henry intended to take anne back.

russell describes anna and katherine’s reunion at christmas as “manners one-upmanship”, and likewise heather r. darsie presents the dynamic as competitive: anne’s gifts, for example, were perhaps a flex of social rank and wealth, “a gift showed a potential rival one’s financial or domestic superiority”. by contrast, katherine sent gifts to anna with her husband, and i wonder if it was a conscious effort to present a united front and reassert her position as henry’s wife. moreover, anna’s deep curtsy and refusal to stand may have been intended as mocking, from a duchess in her own right who may well have viewed the annulment as illegitimate (from norton: “she was not the only person in england to believe that she was truly henry’s wife”; from darsie: “katherine was a former lady-in-waiting to anne, and now the former queen was forcing katherine to acknowledge her humility. […] this show by anne of dedication to katherine as queen consort [was] an ironic dumb show, a very subtle mockery of katherine and the absurdity of the situation”). meanwhile katherine’s lavish kindness, past the point of convention or precedent, may have been weaponised as a means of disarming anna from any means of overshadowing her. anna of cleves socially outranked katherine howard — both of them knew this. the event was successful, but i don’t think we should read it as entirely genuine. these were women doing politics during a pr exercise, and doing it well.

there is no evidence of them maintaining a relationship outside of their public obligations during christmas, however. nor did anna visit court during katherine’s time as queen. therefore i see no evidence to support this idea that they were friendly. arguably there is evidence to suggest they did not particularly respect each other, for if katherine was willing to undermine and ultimately supplant anna by way of courting her husband, then anna was willing to take advantage of katherine’s fall and pursue a marriage she could only feel entitled to if she had never valued katherine as any kind of equal. i don’t think it’s possible for them to have genuinely been close in those circumstances, yet it is interesting how the idea of ‘anna stepping over katherine’s body before it was cold’ doesn’t really get applied to her the way it has been jane seymour with anne boleyn.

[legacygirlingreen]

June 1897 // Farmer Sebastian Sallow x Reader (part 14 ft NSFW)

Last part, master list found here

Warnings: SMUT, 7k plus words of smut, proceed with caution. Praise kink, size kink, slight restraint, mild degradation, hint of breeding - basically its RAUNCHY folks

word count: 10,500

I've never seen someone lit from within 

The end of her education had finally concluded. Sebastian had left his sister in the care of Ominis for a few days and accompanied her mother and siblings on the trip to France under the guise of helping her mother wrangle several small children, but truly he intended to see her commencement ceremony. He had cheered the loudest when she had received top marks for her year, finishing strong, before stepping back to allow her the proper diligence of saying goodbyes to her classmates of 7 years.

After the ceremony, they all had journeyed to her home magical hamlet in France, staying with old friends and showing Sebastian their old home. He in turn, brought her siblings and mother to the clearing he’d shown her months back, sharing the magical discovery with the family as her mother wept and thanked him once more. 

On the journey home they had continued to steal glances and share knowing smiles with one another amidst the crowded carriage ride over the English Channel. Her siblings had continued to pour over her, excited to see her back home, as the family had remained close over the years following her father’s passing. So as she held Lacey in her lap, the girl kept leaning over to help her tease Sebastian about the length of his hair, as he allowed both the young woman and her sister to muse his overgrown dark locks. 

“You lovely ladies have made your point on the unacceptable length of my hair” he said through a chuckle as Lacey triumphantly let out an exclamation with her older sister. Upon the completion of her teasing, she grew bored, leaving the young woman’s lap to go bother their mum instead, allowing for Sebastian to pull her into his side as his arm drifted over the back of the seat. 

“Between the two of us… how much of that was Lacey’s opinion and how much was that your gentle request I cut my hair?” Sebastian teased as he whispered into her ear, at a volume only loud enough for her to hear. 

Blushing brightly she smiled as she looked back at him, noticing her mum was distracted with Lacey and the boys. “I have no bearing on what opinions Lacey may hold…” she teased as he skeptically raised an eyebrow and she continued by saying “... however I don’t think getting a haircut is the worst idea I’ve heard.” As she said so, she couldn’t help but examine the way his dark hair had started to fall in waves, curling around his collar as it had been neglected since he’d come back to Feldcroft. While his hair still looked good, it was currently much longer than normal, and she preferred it shorter and neater around the collar. She had also noticed he’d started to leave his beard a bit more than previously. Keeping it at a nearly permanent stubble, she’d grown to like the way it looked on him, as she smiled remembering her request on her birthday months ago that he grow the beard when he decided to get rid of the mustache. 

“You look a tad flustered, care to share what's on your mind?” he once again teased and she violently shook her head, not wanting to further inflate the man’s overgrown ego. 

“Oh come now darling, humor me” he nearly begged and she rolled her eyes at him, looking back out the window as he chuckled. Leaning back he decided to table the discussion until they made it back home… 

_______________________________________

After arriving back in the hamlet, Sebastian allowed her to get settled in and reacclimated to Scotland as he continued to work and take care of Anne. The only difference to his routine being evening meals with her and Anne in the Sallow home, along with long unchaperoned walks - and stolen kisses - after dark. Never more than some passionate kissing or petting, he remained as much a gentleman as the woman would allow. However, he learned early on that she was quite frisky… and as time went on his patience wore thin. 

He did take Lacey and her battering to cut his hair, getting help from one of the older women in Feldcroft in order to avoid looking ridiculous. Still leaving it tousled on top, he was happy to find the back and sides once again much more suitable to fieldwork. Even he could admit it was getting unmanageable and he intended to surprise her with the change that evening, since upon their arrival he had driven the admission out of her, discovering she preferred him with shorter hair. 

She had gone to Hogsmeade with her mother, at his request, leaving him ample time to set up all the surprises he intended. Her mother had told her it was with the intention of gathering supplies for her now official job at Hogwarts set to start in a few months, by finding new clothes and parchments.  Upon her return, which he confirmed by looking out the window and seeing her walking back home with her mother, he carefully adjusted the lapel of his coat as Anne smiled at him from her bed. 

“You worry too much,” she told him with a reassuring yet tired smile. Looking over to his very worn twin he took a seat next to her as she lifted a shaky hand to help him settle his stray forelock looking at him with the same brown eyes he’d always known. The same ones he often saw in the mirror. 

“How could I not?” he asked her, and for once he was void of all confidence. She simply shook her head, leaning back in the bed as he carefully kissed her forehead, stepping out into the brisk summer air coming off the ocean down the hill.  Walking across the same path he’d traveled so many times as a child took much less time than he remembered, as he very quickly found himself in front of her door. He could hear her and her mother inside bustling around speaking in cheerful voices. Raising a sweat soaked palm up, he made a small fist, barely finding the strength to knock on the worn wooden door. 

It wasn’t long before the door swung open, revealing her surprised face on the other side. 

“Sebastian, your hair is shorter,” she said with a smile as she took in the now slightly shorter waves, as compared to the more overgrown and choppy layers he’d been sporting that morning. Lifting a hand, he stroked the nape of his neck, now exposed by the haircut he’d gotten. 

“Surprisingly enough, that is what happens when you cut it, especially at the recommendation of a beautiful woman” he countered attempting to use humor to alleviate the graphorn in his stomach. 

“What are you doing here? I was going to head over soon enough to make dinner-” she started as he gently lifted his arm for her to take. 

“Change of plan… it’s just the two of us tonight” he said with a nervous smile.

“But what about Anne?” she asked and it warmed his heart knowing he cared about his ill twin. 

“I can watch Anne, you two don’t need to worry” her mum called out from the living room, giving him a knowing look. 

“Shall we?” he asked and she smiled, excited to see what he had in store for her. Her heart fluttered at the thought of having a few stolen kisses with him in private, and it wasn’t long after they made it down the hill before she pounced on him. Tossing her arms over his shoulder, she flung her body against his, connecting their lips with a ferocity he hadn’t expected. 

Sebastian struggled to keep them upright as he caught her, but quickly recovered, holding her waist as she kissed him. Breaking apart after a few moments he smiled sweetly at her. “Couldn’t wait to get me alone… whatever shall I do with you and your wandering hands?” he teased as she giggled. Setting her back on the ground he once again held out a hand for her to take, which she did so willingly allowing him to start walking them towards the direction of the willow. 

The pair had walked this path so many times before, she knew where they were headed without having to ask. Simply walking beside him she exchanged anecdotes about her day, as well as complimenting his haircut, confirming it to be an improvement, which made him happy to hear. Before they made it to the edge of the mountain where the willow sat he turned to her, stopping her. 

“Wha-” she said as he dropped her hand, to remove something from his pocket leaving her perplexed. Pulling out a necktie - one of his old Slytherin ties ironically - he held it up in front of her. 

“I have a small surprise, if that’s okay?” he asked, stepping forward and holding it up, motioning to her eyes and she nodded, turning around for him to use the silk to obstruct her view. 

“Promise you won’t let me fall?” she asked in a small voice as he laughed, gripping her shoulders gently as he helped her avoid the roots in the forest so that he could lead her to the base of the old Sallow tree. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides I am sure you truly could find your way through this forest while blindfolded” he countered and she laughed, knowing he made a good point. 

As he brought her under the tree’s purple flower coated branches, he made sure that all the floating candles he had conjured while she was gone were still in place, as were the glowing flowers he had brought back from France and duplicated using a simple charm were in place. Taking a shaky breath he made sure she was facing away from him still blindfolded as he lifted his wand, starting the enchanted violin he’d borrowed from Ominis as the soft music filled the space. 

Stepping towards her, he pressed against her back just in time to feel her shiver as he lifted his hands to gently undo the tie, hoping to avoid pulling any hairs that might’ve gotten caught in the knot. Pocketing the material he stepped back as she asked

“Can I open my eyes” in a quiet and unsure voice. 

“Please do” he said, his voice cracking slightly as he watched her turn around quickly, observing all the changes to their space.  

“Are those-” she asked pointing to the enchanted lilies and he nodded. 

“Yes they are, I replanted these today after growing them out at the edge of the cow pastures for the past few weeks. I thought they belonged out here” he admitted and she smiled at the thought of him bringing her father’s flowers to the special place. 

“Is this what you wanted to surprise me with?” she asked, stepping forward as she leaned down to rub the soft petals between her fingers. 

“Partly, but it’s more so a nice addition” he said, voice once again shaking as he watched the beautiful expression in the profile of her face as she continued taking in the sights and sounds around them. 

“Oh what else did you have planned?” she asked, still not fully paying him attention. Her distraction would provide him the best opportunity to take her off guard like the romantics demanded, but his fingers felt like they were leaded as he reached in his pocket. Luckily she was too distracted by the flower’s glow to notice him sink down to the forest floor as he waited for her to turn around. 

When she did, she was temporarily surprised, expecting his much taller frame to be leaning over her, but when she looked down she immediately let out a gasp. Seeing him down on one knee, eyes already glossed over as he held a small box in his pocket she felt the need to blink rapidly, making sure this wasn’t a dream from which she’d wake up at any moment. Once realizing that this was real she looked back to his face as he smiled at her. 

“Come here?” he asked softly, a single tear leaking out, and upon seeing him so overwhelmed with emotion already she couldn’t deny him. Stepping forward she came to right in front of him, looking down as his face remained level with her rib cage, yet he tipped it up to catch her gaze. 

Reaching out, he grabbed her hand with his free hand, holding it close to his lips as he pressed a single kiss to the back of it before he let out a small whimper and shook his head. 

“Merlin. I had this all planned out. I had this speech planned and I have practiced for months on sheep, the mirror, you name it, yet I can’t get a word of it out. I have already ruined this” Sebastian said with an annoyed sigh, hoping to once again ground himself, yet finding it difficult. 

Seeing Sebastian so moved to emotion, especially at just the thought of proposing to her she sank down next to him, lifting a hand to push the tears off his face as she returned his watery smile with her own. 

“You haven’t ruined a thing” she confirmed as she looked into his eyes, hopeful he would be able to continue his rehearsed speech. 

“I feel like I have” he said with a sigh, finally composing himself as he looked at her pleading expression before continuing. “Sorry, I hadn’t expected to get so emotional but I just-” he started but once he reached the admission of what brought him to strong emotions he once again turned into a blubbering mess. 

She reached out, pushing the tears off his face as she silently cried next to him. 

“Merlin, now you’re crying. I have to be the world’s worst at this” he said with an embarrassed laugh and she joined in as he calmed again. 

“Sorry Mon Chou, this isn’t the proposal I imagine that you’d always anticipated… just being here, in a place that is so special to the both of us… seeing you here… thinking of always being able to come home to you… it’s just overwhelming after all that we’ve been through” he admitted as he looked down almost ashamed of his emotions and she lifted his stubble covered chin, forcing his eyes back to hers. 

“This is perfect, don’t you dare apologize Sebastian Sallow” she said with fake sternness as she wiped her own face of tears and let out something akin to a snort and a deep breath. 

“A Sallow crying under a Sallow, how ironic” he said hoping to release some of the tension he was feeling as she giggled. 

“A Sallow and a future Sallow crying under the Sallow tree you mean?” she asked as he looked at her bewildered. Processing her words he realized that not only had he technically not asked her, but she had given him an answer regardless. 

“So that means, you’ll…  you’ll marry me?” he questioned as she smiled. 

“Did you honestly think I would ever say no?” she asked leaning forward to grab his cheeks in her hands as she leaned forward to kiss him. 

“Just confirming that it is a yes,” he asked only a breath away from her.

“Absolutely I will marry you Sebastian” she replied against his lips before he dived back in, his damp eyelashes fluttering against her skin as he kissed her. 

Breaking away he remembered the ring, opening the box and sliding it on her finger. Lifting her hand up to his lips he kissed it before giving her a moment to examine the silver band replicating the branches of the willow around them as it wrapped around the purple stone. She looked at the ring dreamily as she realized he had the ring crafted to replicate the tree that had brought them together time and time again. 

“Sebastian…” she let out a gasp, amazed at how romantic the farmer could be. 

“I take it that means you like it?” he didn’t have to await her answer long before she happily exclaimed, 

“I love it so much. This is all so overwhelming truly” she said, once again leaning in for a chaste kiss. 

She could hear the violin playing softly and the breeze rustling the branches of the willow as his warm lips softly passed over hers. It was so utterly romantic she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by all that had happened. What he had asked… how emotional he’d gotten… the fact he looked so bloody handsome under the firelight 

She was reminded of how painful sitting on the ground was as her knees started to ache. Pulling back for a moment she noticed a blanket and a basket next to the tree's base. Seeing where her eyes had darted, he explained “I thought we could eat out here to celebrate privately” and he gestured to it, lifting himself as he held out his hand for her.

When he sat down on top of the blanket, he looked at her once more. “You look so beautiful…” he said with a lovestricken smile. At his admission she crawled closer to him, interrupting his attempt at collecting food from the basket he had placed earlier. Situating herself onto his lap, she once again began to kiss him, this time with much more passion than before. 

Breaking away from her advances he pecked her nose, leaning back before he responded with, “And I thought you were touchy before…” he teased as she shook her head, diving back in as he groaned into her mouth, overwhelmed as he realized she was not only kissing him so intently, but at some point she had begun rocking her hips into his own.  

“Sebastián…” she whined as she continued to grind on his growing arousal. Looking around Sebastian thought for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea. They were far from people out here, so the likelihood of being caught was slim to none. She seemed to desperately want him, much more than she had previously, yet still he hesitated. 

“This isn’t the right place for that-” he started, as he felt it was only fair for her that they only experience pleasure on a bed, or at the very least, not on the ground like animals. 

“I want you Sebastian, please… is this not such an important place to the two of us? Why should we not share another important moment here?” she countered before she started to gently trace her lips over the skin of his neck as he pondered what she suggested. With every second he found less ability to think, and instead a more heedy arousal growing. 

“But still, you deserve a proper bed, not the forest floor…” he let out after a moment with a quiet sigh given she had shifted from his neck to his earlobe, softly grazing the sensitive skin with her teeth as she continued to try and break down his self restraint. 

The woman had enthusiasm, and she certainly knew what she was doing as he felt every ounce of gentleman within him slipping away as she continued to rock against him, tracing the skin of his neck and ears with her lips and teeth. 

Pulling away she looked directly into his eyes, as she gazed at him almost innocently through her eyelashes. “Please take me now… I don’t care about a bed, or that we are outside… I don’t even care if you’re rough… I just want you” she said as she accentuated the word you while her eyes pleaded her case. 

Sebastian was sure she didn’t truly know what she was asking for.

Something about hearing such an innocent tone paired with such a sultry request made something within him snap. She hardly had a second to process before he had pounced on her like a wild dog, rolling her onto her back as he slid atop her body and began kissing her neck greedily. She went to slow his moments when she felt his teeth sucking into her skin, but knew that by the time she removed him, the skin would already be bruised, so she neglected to worry about whatever marks he may leave. 

Sighing she ran her hands up to his shoulders, cupping them as she held him closer to her body all the while, he continued to press his clothed arousal down onto her core even harsher than before.  She could already feel him straining through both the material of his trousers but also through her skirt. Looking down at the vague outline she could see, she nearly lost her composure realizing that Sebastian likely was… well endowed… 

Gone was the soft, emotional and love stricken Sebastian from before, and in his place was this wolfish man. At seeing her apprehension given his size he chuckled almost menacingly as he ducked his head lower, kissing her collarbones while he attempted to start removing the buttons of her blouse. Eagerly and quickly he removed her shirt, tossing it aside without even pausing before he began to strip her of the small corset and camisole she wore. Expert fingers shucked the articles of clothing from her body, quickly leaving her bare from the waist up as his hungry eyes took in her body while his tongue lapped at the newly revealed skin. She moaned out slightly loudly as his plush lips wrapped around her nipple, his stubble scratching the skin of her breast as he sucked the skin and his large hands played with the neglected one. 

“Merlin, I felt like such a creep when you finally got breasts, but I couldn’t help but stare at them. You came back for Christmas and they were just suddenly here and so very noticeable” he said, not quite intending for a conversation, and more so just rambling thoughts off the top of his head as he tried to catch a breath, his calloused fingertips grazing her nipple as she jerked under his hands.

Regaining slight composure as he slowed his movements, she took to unbuttoning his shirt, as he had at some point tossed his jacket and waistcoat without her noticing, eager to feel his skin on hers. She recalled seeing him shirtless one day when he had been 16, herself 13, when she was assisting Anne and he came back from outside, removing the shirt from behind the curtain and a draft from the opening door of the cottage revealed him temporarily for her to see. He was strong and wide even then, and she’d be lying if she hadn’t wondered what he looked like now that he was a man. 

She luckily didn’t have to wait long, as the final button of his shirt came undone and she pushed it down his arms, showcasing his tanned, and freckled torso. His chest had filled out much more than when he was a teenager, and now in the valley of his pecks sat a small patch of dark hair. Following the line down she saw as more hair appeared below his navel, disappearing into his trousers… 

Like the cat that caught the canary, Sebastian watched as she unashamedly stared at his semi nude form. “See something you like darling?” The playful quip came out a few octaves lower than he had previously been talking, and the added depth to his voice made her feel a pulse within her womanhood. 

She didn’t reply, tracing the skin of his newly revealed chest and shoulders with her fingers as he gave her a second to adjust. He watched her through hooded lids as she caressed the delicate skin of his ribs, making him shiver, as he wasn’t accustomed to anyone truly touching him here. Yet as she continued to gaze upon his body with wonder and amazement, his patient wore thin as he remembered the throbbing he felt below his waist. 

“There will be more time to get acquainted with our bodies later. I need you right now” he demanded, pulling up her waist so that he could start sliding down her skirt without permission. Not only did the man strip her out of outerwear, but in the quest to remove her skirt he pulled down her petticoat and her undergarments in one go, exposing her most subtle flesh to the Scottish highland air. 

Upon her full undressing minus her stockings, she tried to ignore the press of the wool blanket along her back as Sebastian groped at her curves. The man seemed like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to focus on. As a schoolboy, he had always enjoyed the various feasts throughout the year, as the lavish meals with more food than one could imagine certainly stunned the poor farm boy who often skipped meals. But right now, staring down at his newly appointed fiancé he felt a resurgence of a similar feeling he had as a first year in the great hall: a need to consume all that was before him.

“Merlin…” he said while looking down at her, as she shyly looked up to his ravenous expression. Her eyes shone with anticipation as his eyes tracked the expanse of her nude body. An Angelic face with soft lips and strong blush gave way to curved slopes of her neck and shoulders. The delicate skin of her breasts moving down to her navel and the narrow circumference of her waist. Juxtaposed was her hourglass figure hips, soft but also lean from her time dancing. He could see the small patch of well groomed hair sitting atop her womanhood, the beautiful v shape being obstructed by her lovely thighs. Sebastian couldn’t have that.

Prying her open with his one hand, he slithered down her body quickly, moving his face level with his prize. He could smell her arousal before he could see the dripping that had started down her thighs. He gave no warning before he was licking her open, prodding her entrance with his tongue with the up to most vigor he could provide. Sebastian had indulged on the rare occasion to do this provocative act, moreso for the woman’s pleasure. But swallowing her in this way, tasting her sweet nectar on his tongue, he knew that she was easily the best meal he had ever consumed. If he were to die between her muscular thighs, he’d die a happy man.

His intensity had stunned her, as had the use of his mouth on her lower regions. In all her experiences, she’d never had a man use his mouth on her, only her using her mouth to please their genitals. Feeling full lips kissing, sucking, and nipping at her was a new sensation that left her squirming. Sebastian seemed to be annoyed with her excessive movements, as he slammed her hips down with his forearm. “Hold still” he nearly commanded as he was holding her down before he resumed to work his tongue in and out of her. The feeling of him breathing his command directly into her core caused her to flood immediately. 

Unable to move her hips, she took to his hair. Sebastian fought against her as she tried to pry him off, unused to the feeling of a stubble covered chin between her thighs. He pulled her closer, to the point his face was completely buried in the apex of her thighs, his nose stroking her Pearl while his mouth continued to fuck her open. Her fingers continued to grasp and pull his hair almost while he filled her body with his groans at the feeling of her grip on his dark locks.

“Sebastian….” He could somewhat hear her say as he continued to eat her glorious cunt, picking up his pace as he felt her thighs begin to shake around his head. The pulling on his dark hair got more intense as he slid his hand to her opening, filling her with his finger as he moved his mouth to her clitorus. The feeling of his thick, calloused finger prying her open surprised her, but caused a shaky moan to leave her parted lips and as he looked up slightly at her face filled with pleasure, he felt such pride in knowing he was the one bringing it to her.

Feeling her inner walls give way, he didn’t hesitate before shoving in his middle finger alongside his pointer as he picked up the pace by thrust his appendages in and out of her tight hole while sucking on her bundle of nerves. He was insistent on bringing her over the edge more than once, as well as making sure she would be properly prepared. Based on prior experiences he had been told on more than one occasion that he was not small by any means of the word, and despite his strong urge to fill her, he refused to intentionally hurt her by pressing in before her body would be able to accept him. 

He was a gentleman after all.

She had never felt anything this intense before. Sure, she had laid with boys in her school before, allowing them to guide her inexperience as she trusted them to lead. Laying underneath Sebastian’s manhandling hands, and his vigorous efforts with his mouth, she wondered why she had even allowed such boys to toy with her when all this time she could’ve been experiencing pure ecstasy at the hands of a real man. 

She was taken aback when her body suddenly flushed and she felt a release unlike anything she had experienced before. A small whimper leaving her lips at the new feeling of someone else bringing her body please sounded through the air and caused Sebastian to immediately abandon his post to search her face for signs that he’d hurt her. 

“Was I too rough?” he asked her, lips glistening with her arousal and she watched as it continued all the way down to his chin and up to his nose. His eyes begged for an answer and she attempted to situate herself before responding. 

“No, it just caught me off guard is all” she said, refusing to mention the word for what had just happened. At her shy nature Sebatian grinned, moving closer to her face again, as his hand with soaked digits wrapped around her waist. 

“I thought you said you had experience” he teased as she calmed her ragged breathing. 

“Yes, but… that doesn’t mean it’s ever felt like, well that…” she still refused to acknowledge the reaction to which he had drawn from her. At the admission his eyes somehow grew even darker than previously before, his pupil getting buried within his chocolate brown eyes. 

Licking his lips, Sebastian allowed the knowledge only he had ever brought her over the edge of ecstasy inflate his ego before he responded. “So you’ve never experienced an orgasm with anyone else until now…” he said rhetorically as he stared down at her. 

Blushing wildly at his open ease with the conversation topic she shook her head no. “I had always assumed that a man using his mouth on a woman was, well, vulgar” she told him, as no man had ever crawled between her legs and brought the heavens to her the way he had just moments before.

Darkly chuckling he leaned in closer, and she was worried he was going to kiss her with her slick still on his lips, he replied “Oh it may be vulgar darling… but I quite enjoy hearing what it does to you while I am eating this perfect cunt”. Sebastian admitted it, no regard for his less than gentleman choice of words, before he claimed her lips once more. He left his eyes open as he kissed her for a moment, just to watch her shock before he let his eyes flutter shut to focus on the way her lips felt against his own. He partially did it to see her reaction to her taste, and partly to calm himself from just pulling out his manhood and shoving in like an animal. 

She had become surprised at her own wetness on his lips and face, finding the taste to be odd, but not entirely off putting as she had imagined it would be. Kissing him back, she pressed her body up into him, as much as he would allow given he was pushing her into the ground with his own. Eventually he came up for air, looking down at her once more. Seeing her stockings were still on, he slid back to remove them. As he did so, he caught a glimpse at the faded scar along her ankle and foot from that dreaded night Solomon had startled her and knocked over the lantern. Sebastian had seen glimpses of it on the very rare occasion they put their feet in the creek or she had been pulling up socks to leave home, but he hadn’t truly studied it since he was a child and used magic to heal it. 

Carefully tracing along the now healed, but still slightly marred skin, he smiled remembering the day they had met, briefly allowing his mind to be filled with images of them over the years. The day she conjured the willow, when he found her after her gran died, when she found him after Solomon, when they’d danced together after the yule ball, the night in France, the night on the beach, all leading to right now. 

Looking back up he saw her face laced with a combination of anxiety, anticipation and arousal. She gave him a small nod, as if to make sure he had the go ahead to do as he please, and by merlin, he intended to have his way with her. 

“Last chance, you’re sure this is what you want. As rough as I want, you said?” he asked, confirming she didn’t seem to mind if his more brazen urges took over and he was more gruff handed with her. 

“I promise to stop you if it becomes too much but… I think we’ve waited long enough and I certainly don’t wish for you to hold back anything from me” she confirmed and his heart soared at those words. 

His whole life Sebastian had felt subdued. Forced to restrain showing emotion after his parents died by Solomon. Forced to stop searching for a cure by Anne and Ominis. Forced to hold back on his wishes to be with her. No more would he stop every ounce of love, care, respect and need for her ever again. From now on he was going to allow the fullest extent of his passion slip out, and the thought alone made him nearly lose his composure. 

Normally he would allow a woman to undress him, but given his untamed surge of emotion, he stripped himself of his trousers with record speed, leaving only his briefs and his socks. As he moved to remove the final barriers between them she stopped him, a genuine whine leaving his lips as she slowed his speed down. As she looked at him, she wriggled out from under him and delicately pushed him over onto his back. Giving her a questioning look as to why she was slowing them down she shook her head. 

“I have waited for so long, I don’t want to feel rushed. I want to see you, all of you, before you enter me…” she admitted and he nodded, somewhat understanding her request, but still finding it frustrating as he had been ready to enter her already, and this was slowing down his plans. Realizing that she was entitled to go at whatever pace she desired, especially given that she’d given him permission to do as he pleased later on, he tried to calm his racing heart and give her the moment she needed. 

Using her delicate fingers to undo the tie securing the material around his waist, before slowly hooking her fingertips along the inside of the cotton briefs and pulling them down at such a turtle like pace it made him want to scream. Eventually he felt the slightly chilled air on his cock as she finally freed it from the constricting material and he looked down to watch her shocked face as it smacked against his abdomen immediately at being freed. 

Oh Merlin. 

She couldn’t help but stare, the path of pulling down his undergarments abandoned as she simply just stared at him. The thoughts of having to fit such a thick appendage like that inside of her, knowing previously nothing that large had breached her, made her mouth run dry. Looking away before she lost her nerve, she pulled down the briefs the rest of the way before also stripping his socks to give herself a moment to calm her anxiety. 

Figuring she should likely stroke or maybe even lubricate before he dove in, she decided to place him in her mouth as she crawled back up his body.  It only felt fair given he had also used his mouth on her. 

The feeling of her wet mouth around him instantly made him jump, surprised she would do such a thing given the anxiety he’d seen moments ago. Relaxing back into the wool blanket, he let her slide her tongue along the head of his cock, enjoying the way it felt. Expert movements in her mouth told him that she had done so before, and while part of him wanted to throttle any lucky man who had her sweet lips wrapped around their sad excuse for a cock, he partially wanted to thank them for instructing her so well, as the way she moved felt like nothing he’d ever experienced before. 

Worrying about his longevity, he was instantly brought back to reality as moved his hands up to collect her hair in a makeshift ponytail allowing him to see her face. He smiled remembering the night he’d told her it looks better down, enjoying how ever since then, she would leave it hanging on his behalf regardless of propriety.  Using his hold on her hair to gently pry her mouth off him, she looked confused. 

“As truly wonderful, and I mean incredible as that feels, I must confess if you keep going I may not make it all the way” he told her, the admission bringing her a surge of confidence as she nodded and slid up his body, finding purchase with her hands steadying herself along his shoulders. Looking down she could both see and feel his manhood straining against the outside of her opening. 

“So this is it” she said, her voice indicating to him that she was unsure how to proceed. 

“It is if you’re still sure you want this” he told her, because as much as every nerve in his body was screaming to snap his hips upward, he would never do so if she was showing any hesitation. 

“I want this. What way uh-” she trailed off, unsure how to ask him what position may be best for him to enter her, as she imagined sinking down on him right now would feel similar to those paintings at her school of Vlad the Impalers victims… 

“Do you trust me?” he asked after a moment, eyes softening as he questioned her. 

“Of course I do” she said, as if she was offended he had to ask. 

“Then may I take the reins back darling? I promise I will make you feel good, and you can stop me if it hurts but to be honest… I am sort of dying here” he said with a chuckle, gesturing to the way he was throbbing so intensely his cock giving her an indication of how much he was struggling with the anticipation. 

“Please do. I am not sure why I crawled on top, I don’t think I have the… tenacity to command submission from someone as… well endowed as you.  I mean, I’m sure I could but I don’t know how much of it would feel authentic” she started rambling but made no effort to crawl back off his body. Normally he would find her struggle to find the words cute, but right now he had other priorities. 

Grabbing her waist aggressively with one hand, yet gently cradling the back of her head with the other, he flipped her onto her back as he pushed his hips down onto hers. The pressure doing wonders for him as he groaned out, “another time perhaps, right now I just want you begging underneath me while I stretch you out” he admitted as lined them up with the hand that had cradled her head during the movement. 

Adjusting his cock’s head inside her lower lips, and letting it touch the outside of her opening he looked to her for confirmation one last time. She didn’t speak, simply nodded as she looked up at him with the most angelic expression he’d seen before he plunged into her walls. 

Having felt the moistness still collected there from the way he’d brought her pleasure, he was able to get himself halfway inside without much trouble as he sunk deeper and deeper within her velvet walls. As much as he wished he could have savored the moment of breaching her walls for the first time, he couldn’t help his wolfish tendency to be buried as deep as he could be. Paired with the fact that soon her body opened up for him, sucking him in as their bodies seemed to work in tandem with one another, he soon found himself with his hips pressed against hers.  

She looked down, seeing the way he was buried to the hilt within her body, the sight alone causing him to twitch within her, before he moved back to make sure she was alright. She didn’t seem to be in pain, but the look of shock on her face as he caught her staring down at the way her body had been pierced by him made him nearly lose composure. Still, he refused to move before he was sure she would be alright. 

She had been surprised at the way her body had accepted him without much pain. Obviously she had felt that familiar sting of being entered, but she had experienced more pain with less… Regardless she was amazed when she looked down and saw that he had slid into her with grace. Perhaps having known him so long, her body was comfortable with him regardless of his size. As she looked up she noticed his eyebrow quirked and she almost questioned why but then she realized he was asking nonverbal permission to start moving so she nodded. 

As soon as she gave him the go ahead and let out a deep breath and immediately pulled his hips up so he was halfway out before snapping back inside her, the intensity catching her off guard for a moment. Feeling the way he intended to pound into her, she reached up to hold his shoulders in order to keep herself steady as he kept going. 

This seemed to frustrate him further as he pushed her arms off without warning, gripping them in one of his larger hands and pinning them above her head to hold her down as he continued rocking his hips against her with such speed he wondered how he had lasted this long. 

The feeling of Sebastian holding her down caused her to start shaking, having not anticipated him being so rough with her, but that didn’t mean she didn’t find herself flooding more and more as he continued. 

“Fuck, the way your body opens up for me… like it knows it’s mine” he said between clenched teeth. At his admission she looked back up at him, seeing how smug he looked having her in such a vulnerable position as he entered her body over and over again. When she didn’t respond he tightened his grip on her wrists, leaning down as continued to move his hips without stopping. 

“Say you’re mine” he demanded of her as he placed his lips next to ear. Afraid of the consequences of refusing she met his eyes as he leaned away. 

“I am yours,” she said with a breathless voice. He smirked once more as he noticed the way she began to crawl closer and closer to release. Not wanting her to finish quite yet, he pulled out of her, and she let an annoyed whine fall past her lips as he hovered over her flushed body. 

Letting go of her wrists he looked at her before speaking, “Not yet princesse, you’ll cum when I say you can” he demanded as he pulled her hips upward. For a moment she was confused as to what he was attempting to do, but when he easily lifted her up, spinning her around onto her hands and knees she got a semblance of what he was going to do. 

She’d never heard of people doing it this way, only animals, yet the thought alone made her excited. Pushing her upper back down, he used the hand on her waist to pull her bottom up as high as he could before leaning over her back to place his one hand next to her side and his mouth next to her ear. “Arch your back my little danseuse” he commanded while using a hand to help shift her into the position he wanted and she did her best to comply. 

“There you are… look so gorgeous like this, all spread out for me, just waiting for my cock” he said as he once again lined himself up at her entrance but when he didn’t push inside she looked back at him confused for a second, as she’d been anticipating him. 

“Beg” he told her as he leaned his body over hers, his hand moving up to gently cup her neck as he breathed in the perfume spot she always had behind her ear. 

“What..” she barely managed to get out as he pushed his hips into hers more forcefully but still not entering. 

“Beg for it, for me. Tell me what you want right now and I promise I’ll give it to you… you just need to ask nicely” he told her as he nudged the side of her cheek with his nose. She could feel him still throbbing against her entrance and his much larger body engulfed hers from behind. A part of her was still very nervous at the thought of being entered from behind, as it seemed more vulgar, but the part of her that was curious won over. 

“Please Sebastian” 

“Please what” he said, once again rocking into her, reminding her that she still had yet to be properly entered.  Sebastian looked down at her darkly as he saw her apprehension and uncertainty to elaborate upon what he was asking of her. 

“Tell me you want me to enter you darling… that you me to fuck like an animal on the ground out here in the woods” he lead her to the words he wanted to hear her confirm as he felt her hips shaking under his tight hold. 

“I want you to fill me…” she said cautiously, not used to having to beg for intimacy, certainly not from Sebastian, yet her body shook with the anticipation it brought being reduced to a blubbering mess as he commanded both her body and her actions from his position. She never would question his authority, but this intensity was new to her, as most of the boys she’d entertained were blushing virgins. 

“What else” he spit out against her neck, waiting for her to repeat back the other words he’d spoken. 

“I want you to enter me from behind like animals do…” she said innocently and he almost laughed at the way the foreign words came off her tongue, but he didn’t have time before he swiftly re entered her tight core with a grunt, feeling himself sliding in deeper than he had earlier, as the change in position allowed him to stretch her even further. 

She was shocked when she felt him pushing into the back of her channel, feeling him graze her internal opening as he began to pick up the pace.

“Fuck. You feel so warm darling, I just want to stay inside as long as I can” he admitted to her as he continued to pound into her with a strength she didn’t know he had, feeling her legs start to give out of her as her hips threatened to sink beneath his weight. Instead of fighting her to stay up, he pushed her until she was level with the ground, continuing to sink into her as he rested his knees on the ground beside her thighs. 

“So.. full…” she choked out against the blanket as he kept moving and she felt his unrestrained strength as he continued to fuck her. As a girl she’d dreamed of him gently taking his time with her, undressing slowly and romantically taking his time as he moved within her.  Now as an adult, she found that letting him express the extent of his manly whims was much more… enjoyable. 

“So full of me. Gods you are so fucking beautiful like this… I…” he struggled as he moved his head to her shoulder as he pushed in deep once again before he stopped without warning, pulling out to shift their positions. At this point she stopped questioning it, allowing herself to be manhandled into whatever placement his filthy mind had dreamt up. 

Sebastian slid onto his back, pulling her on top of him as her hips went to each side of his waist. As he got them into the basic position, he slowed down slightly, sliding her hands up to his shoulders gently. Reaching his lips up he gently kissed her, his mouth caressing hers, all the while he groaned into her mouth. 

“I want to see your face when you finish… as much fun as I was having I don’t want to finish off our first time with you being fucked into the ground like one of my farm animals” he said with a small chuckle, pushing a sweat soaked tendreal of hair off her face.  The jump he had made from dominant and aggressive to soft and gentle catching her off guard and she nearly protested, worried the shift in tone would force him to slow down his tempo in pleasing her. 

“Don’t worry, I promised you that you’ll finish… and we can always revisit the previous position at a later time if you’d like” he gave her a reassuring smile before lifting her hips, lining them up once more and holding her there so that she could sink down when she was ready. Already missing the friction he’d been providing she sank down quickly, not caring as his thick cock stretched her impossibly more than she had been earlier. 

Once she found herself fully seated atop of him, he wasted no time before he was lifting her up by her hips, and pulling her back down, doing the motions for her. Feeling like she was being thrown around like an old sack, she cried out, allowing him to continue using her body on top of his for pleasure, while she clenched her walls around him. 

“You feel so good. Merlin, you're so pretty. Gonna be my wife” he started saying with shortness of breath, looking up at her as his eyes told her that he was getting closer, as the confidence he wore earlier melted into wide eyed ecstasy. 

“Sebastian please… I need to…” she said, a breath away from finishing as she felt him twitch within her. 

“I’ve got you, finish for me -” he encouraged her as he pulled her closer to him, his nose rubbing against hers as he breathed her in, his eyes planted within her gaze as she felt him twitch once more. 

Needing no further encouragement, she came harder than she had earlier, her cunt giving such a death grip on his cock that he quickly muttered out “fuck” nearly falling over the edge with her immediately, but by some miracle he held off. 

“I - where?” he choked out, barely holding back and the urgency of his tone broke the waves of pleasure she was experiencing. 

Inside

He nearly fell apart hearing her asking him to spill inside of her warmth, but he felt the need to double check that she was okay with that, as doing so could have… unintended consequences. 

“You’re sure?” he asked, as she looked down at him and she nodded. 

“I want to feel all of you” she confirmed and he groaned out knowing he could spill his load exactly where he wanted it to be : as far deep within her as it could be.  He knew she was on a contraceptive potion, one her mother was insistent on the moment they’d started courting, but to still be granted permission to do something so intimate made him very happy. 

Sebastian knew once they were wed he could spill within her without the use of a potion, and the thought of putting a child into her caused his hips to stutter. 

“Fuck” he shouted out as he placed his sweat soaked brow along her collarbones. In the moments he’d been lost in the thought of filling her with a child he hadn’t noticed that she’d moved back and started rocking her hips without his help, trying to finish him off on her own. The kind gesture worked wonders as he reached his hand down to palm her ass roughly. 

“I love -” he started but wasn’t able to finish as a large tremor racked through his body, as his cock exploded within her walls. She felt him spill inside of her as she continued to rock her hips against his and she didn’t stop until he used his hands to slow her movements. As she came to a stop she could feel his large load sliding back out of where their bodies were still joined together and she all but collapsed on top of him, exhausted. 

I love you

He whispered against her hair, finally finishing the phrase he started while he came. She didn’t respond, smiling as she laid on his chest, hearing his heartbeat under her cheek. She was slowly starting to slip into sleep when he shook her awake, knowing they shouldn’t sleep out here like this, especially since he figured her mum would come looking for them eventually. 

“So a Scottish Summer wedding?” he asked her and she looked at him hopefully. 

“Do you mean next year..?” she questioned, knowing engagements usually lasted a long time and figured he would be in no rush with Anne as sick as she was. 

“This. If you’re up for that.  Anne mentioned wanting to relocate to Hogsmeade to take some tension off me since Ominis has a home there and I found out that Thomas Brown is considering selling Tomes and Scrolls. I figured that it would provide a nice bit of income if I took over, plus we both know there’s not many books I haven’t read. Wouldn’t be far from the school either” he explained with a sigh. 

“What about Feldcroft?” she asked cautiously. 

“What about it? We can still live here. Apparition and floo networks exist for a reason” he responded with a chuckle as his fingertips gently traced the skin of her back. 

“You don’t think it’s too soon” she asked him, remembering that for so long he seemed apprehensive to the idea of tying her down so soon. 

“Not soon enough. I’d marry you tomorrow if I could… but give me a few weeks and I’ll be ready. That is, if you are…?” he asked her as she finally looked up from his chest to see his eyes. 

“Can we do it on the beach?” she asked playfully, her question answering his own. 

“Anything you want darling.” 

Epilogue

They had been wed only a few weeks after Sebastian had proposed. A small crowd of their close friends, family, and neighbors joined. Mr. and Mrs. Sharp attended with their newborn daughter, Daphne Sharp, who won the hearts of nearly everyone in attendance. Per her request to have it on the beach, Sebastian researched a charm to make light, non chilled snow fall against the beautiful backdrop, replicating the night he’d finally let down the last of his walls and they’d kissed. 

She looked so beautiful as she stood there in a soft dress. Her mother and Anne helped weave flowers into her hair, several of them from the willow she’d collected and in his mind she looked like a nymph crawling from the forest to be with him forever. He’d worn his kilt, unable to shake his Scottish pride and when the priest had finished bounding their hands he couldn’t wait to start their lives together. 

A small part of her had always known that since that day when they were children, she was going to love him indefinitely. Sebastian had gotten her permission to have a metalworker melt down her grandmother's ring in order to make a simple wedding band to lay next to the ring he’d proposed with. For his own, Sebastian had decided to use his fathers to a band crafted similar to the branches holding her amethyst. 

Opening up the door to Tomes and Scrolls for the first time after purchasing it felt incredible. He’d always loved the shop as a boy, giving him access to books he couldn't borrow due Scribner’s close eyes.  Since she had some limited time before beginning at Hogwarts, he took up her kind offer to help him renovate the space as he had wanted, adding a basement below the shop for printing, so that he could not only sell tomes, but also print them. She brought a much needed feminine touch to decorating the shop, bringing forth his Slytherin pride given it was in the castle’s backyard but incorporating snakes and dark green into the furniture. By the time they finished, he was happy with the results, turning the back room into an office for himself to write when he had the time. 

Informing his boss at the ministry he was not returning hadn’t been difficult. Anne was back for the time being, staying with Ominis in Hogsmeade, and he was a married man back in his home where he always belonged. Being an Ambassador had always been fun, but not quite a proper fit. Being surrounded by books and having time to write them brought forth a sense of peace he hadn’t imagined. 

As he looked around at his shop he couldn’t help but smile, but when he felt arms wrapping around his own he moved to close the book he’d been reading when he heard her ask. 

“Is that a branch from our willow?” she asked and he watched as her ringed hand moved to take the book from him as she moved from behind him. 

“It is,” he confirmed, knowing she was referring to the branch he’d broken off all those years ago. Ever since that day it had sprouted, he’d used it as his place marker in books, smiling whenever he opened his schoolbooks to see a piece of her nestled there at hogwarts with him. 

“When did you start using that?” she asked with a small laugh as she stroked its delicate form before closing the book and handing it back to him. 

“Uh… 8 years ago?” he asked as he did the mental math. 

“That long ago?” she asked him, surprised she’d never noticed until now. 

“Same day it emerged I broke this off. Had it in a book ever since” he told her with a shrug. 

“So this is one of our Sallows first flowers?” she asked sweetly as he nodded. 

“How was training with the old bag?” 

“Oh yeah! Get this, Scribner nearly fainted when I was introduced as y/n Sallow. Black had to call Nurse Blainey to check on her. Poor woman still is traumatized by your time at Hogwarts” 

“She didn’t take it out on you though? Being my wife?” he asked, worried proximity to him would make her life easier. 

“She might question my choices but she remained professional… well past the initial shock” she once again laughed while taking out her wand and setting it on the counter. He looked down seeing the worn handle next to his recently replaced one. Sebastian had refused to change the style or look of his wands handle, but he frequently replaced the checkered green handle due to general wear and tear. 

“I need to get you a new handle for this” he stated simply as he lifted her wand as he examined the worn out wooden handle with its still glistening gem on the end. 

“I don’t need another one” she countered, reaching for her wand as he continued to look at it, seeing the places where her hands had warped the wood. 

“It's worn out. You should’ve replaced this years ago. How you cast properly with this thing I’ll never know” he admitted handing it back to her. 

“I would never replace what you gifted me” she replied bluntly. 

“Then let me gift my wife a new one” Sebastian said while pulling her closer to him against the counter. 

“Mhm I like the sound of that” she admitted, resting her head along his shoulders, breathing in his warm and cedar smell that always clung to him. 

“Well if you want, we can run by Ollivanders now if you’d like” he offered and she shook her head. 

“I mean, we can but that’s not what I meant” she countered with a small chuckle, lifting his worn workers hands, seeing the small silver band resting on his ring finger. Realizing what she had been referring to he removed his hand from her grasp and placed it under her chin. 

Suddenly she was back in feldcroft at 10 years old, looking into the dark brown eyes of the sweet boy next door. The one whom she’d fallen in love with. Except now they stood in Hogsmeade almost a decade later, man and wife. 

Sebastian gently brushed his lips against hers before pulling away. “You certainly like being called Mrs. Sallow… it’s quite endearing I might add” he said, gently rubbing his nose on hers before pulling away and adding “I am replacing that wand handle too. You can’t stop me” 

“Fine. But I’m cooking dinner tonight Mr. Sallow” she countered. 

“Only if you’re on the menu” he said playfully and she squeaked. 

“Sebastian! Anyone could walk by and hear-” she said, cringing if someone happened to have heard. 

“That didn’t stop you that day in my new office” he countered and she rolled her eyes, remembering the day she decided they needed to christen tomes and scrolls with their… marital bliss. 

“What am I going to do with you?” she asked him pretending to be annoyed. 

“Um… love me forever and tell our children how smart their father is?” 

“I suppose I could do that… I still can’t believe it sometimes” she admitted, a small smile on her face as he moved up beside her. 

I can. 

THE END 

(unless of course i get inspired)

[princesssarisa]

C. E. and A. are Charlotte, Emily, and Anne, obviously.

Obviously, Anne is the Brontë who most clearly deconstructs the "bad boy" Romantic hero with her negative portrayal of Arthur Huntingdon in The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. But what about her sisters with Rochester in Jane Eyre and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights?

I was just reading @burningvelvet's in-depth analysis of the Byronic hero archetype in literature, which @bethanydelleman reblogged. When discussing the Brontës, they concluded that Emily plays the archetype fully straight in Heathcliff, since Heathcliff never changes or redeems himself, while Charlotte partly deconstructs it by playing it straight in Rochester at first but then punishing and redeeming Rochester so that he's no longer Byronic in the end. That's definitely a valid interpretation.

Yet I've also read the argument that Charlotte plays the "romantic bad boy" archetype the straightest, because she makes (or tries to make) Rochester a sympathetic character whom Jane never stops loving and who can redeem himself and become her ideal husband. From this viewpoint, Emily was the one who partly deconstructed the archetype by portraying Heathcliff as an explicitly bad man and an abuser, whose only possible romance is with is the similarly sublime and monstrous Cathy, and whom no ordinary girl like Isabella could ever hope to change. Although her deconstruction doesn't go as far as Anne's (so this argument goes), because she still creates sympathy for him and portrays his passion for Cathy as romantic.

Then of course there's the pop culture idea that both Rochester and Heathcliff are completely straight examples of romanticized Byronic bad boys, while only Anne was "the sensible one" who deconstructed the archetype. As seen in that popular yet (IMHO) slightly unfair Kate Beaton comic that shows both Charlotte and Emily swooning over dark, brooding men to Anne's disconcertion.

Of course the last option is that all three sisters deconstructed the Byronic hero archetype in different ways: Anne by dismissing him altogether, Emily by making him a compelling and tragic villain but still a villain, and Charlotte by punishing and redeeming him.

Which way of reading their work rings the truest to all of you?

[suzitaree]

Undercroft kiss. (S. Sallow x reader)

After his sister Anne got cursed, Sebastian choose to be more reserved at Hogwarts. He preferred to keep to himself, often found reading in the forbidden part from the library or wandering the halls at night alone. But there was one person who could always bring him out of his shell, and that was Y/N.

Y/N was a new student at hogwarts and joined the school in her fifth year. Sebastian had keep an eye out for her since he lost the battle with her during charmclass. She seemed sweet and innocent, but Sebastian knew that she had a spark of mischief. He always saw it in her eyes that always seemed to draw him in. They had been friends since their trip to the forbidden part of the library and Sebastian found himself falling more and more in love with her.

One evening, they found themselves alone in the undercroft. The air was cool and damp, but they were bundled up in warm cloaks and huddled together on a stone bench. They were discussing their latest Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment when Y/N reached over and playfully messed up Sebastians fluffy hair.

"Your hair looks like a puffskein," she teased, grinning mischievously.

Sebastian rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile. "At least I don't look like a blast-ended skrewt," he retorted, poking her in the side.

They laughed and continued to tease each other, growing bolder with each passing moment. Y/N leaned in closer, her lips hovering just inches from Sebastian's.

"Are you going to kiss me or what?" she teased, her eyes shining with amusement.

Sebastian hesitated for just a moment before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was soft at first, but soon grew more passionate as they both gave in to their feelings for each other.

As they pulled away, breathless, Y/N grinned at Sebastian. "I think we just discovered a new way to study for Defense Against the Dark Arts," she said, her eyes sparkling.

Sebastian chuckled and pulled her in for another kiss. For the first time in a long time, he felt truly alive, and he knew that he never wanted to let go of this feeling.

[moongurl95]

7 Times the Charm

GN!MC / May or may not be an alternate version of a long fic I'm working on, but I've hit a writing rut and this prompt by @serpensortiamaxima (this is dedicated to you too OP!) got me churning out this piece until 4AM (now i can sleep with my brain empty! XD) also divider credits here

Summary: It was no secret that the Three Broomsticks can also be considered a social gathering for the latest news, and Sirona Ryan, the owner was at the neck of it. Or, a glimpse of a blooming relationship she'd observed since that Troll Attack in Hogsmeade. (One-shot also posted on AO3)

“Oh, there’s a face I haven’t seen before.” This may be the first time Sirona Ryan’s memory seemed to have failed her as she was confident in remembering her clientele.

“It’s my first time here.” The student had replied almost sheepishly, which explained everything to the bar owner. Of course, she’d heard about the latest talk in the streets of a Hogwarts student having been caught in a dragon attack.

“Welcome! Butterbeers on me.” Sirona assumed that the student was a transferee, after all, she’d never heard of a student starting this late in their Hogwarts education. “Glad to see you two escape injury.” She glanced between the two students with growing worry, having planned to check on the other shopkeepers and residents once the crowd had buzzed down from the recent Troll Attack in Hogsmeade.

“Thanks to this one. Single-handedly took down a Troll!”

“Is that right? Well done.” Of course Sirona couldn’t take the Sallow boy’s claim seriously, not when she was sure of the way the boy had looked admiringly at his new classmate. Before she could decide to play matchmaker however, they were interrupted by some brutes’ arrival.

The second time Sirona next saw the pair was on a relatively calm day in the Three Broomsticks, she considered herself not eavesdropping at all while the two students had quite the passionate discussion over a round of Butterbeer.

“Honestly! Why do you have to trouble yourself on a trip to get something for my sister? Anne wrote she’d be delighted by your very presence alone.”

“Because Sebastian, it’s common courtesy to bring a gift when visiting your friend’s family.”

Now this seemed to be a development. Sirona had to keep herself looking busy as she wiped away at the mugs on the counter, casting a knowing glance by the corner table to quickly spy the flustered look on the Sallow boy’s face.

Sirona could only hope to Merlin that his ‘friend’ fancied him the way he seemed to.

In exchange for asking her assistance on where to find her friend, Lodgok, Sirona in turn thought to request the new student’s help in retrieving her box of letters. Though she never would have predicted they’d also come as a pair this third time around.

“I’m not letting you go alone. And for Merlin’s sake, why a mine of all places? Do you happen to know what sort of creatures could possibly live there??”

Sirona could only watch in amusement as the Sallow boy was being pushed out by his classmate in an attempt to shush him, “Alright, alright – I’ll tell you all about it on the way. Just get going so we can at least finish this while there’s still sun out.”

The door to the Three Broomsticks had shut after their departure so Sirona could only guess how the rest of their day would go. One thing was for sure though, if she’d initially thought the Sallow boy only fancied his new friend before, then now Sirona was absolutely certain the boy was now smitten.

Maybe there was good reason to owl Mirabel after all, nothing better than an entertaining chat about young love over tea.

The next time Sirona served Butterbeer to the new student at the counter, she was half expecting them to be with a familiar face. Instead, they sat alone, looking quite under the weather as they seemed to stare unseeing into the tankard, Sirona was just about ready to lend a listening ear after she’d served all the other customers’ orders when the student had stood up just as a familiar Slytherin entered the premises.

Sirona was quick to notice the two of them weren’t on speaking terms as they passed by each other – the Sallow boy taking the stool beside where his friend just left. She chose to quietly serve him his share of Butterbeer before she continued to keep busy.

“Sirona, would you apologize if you said something… true but ended up sounding… mean?”

So that was how it was… “Well dear, first of all, it’s not what you said, but how you made them feel. So yes, an apology should be expected.”

“But… how?”

Sirona raised an eyebrow at him as if to say the answer should be obvious enough, but ended up sighing in exasperation as the boy looked pitifully at a lost, “If you aren’t ready to tell them personally, then a letter might suffice, and don’t make it just a simple apology either – at least, offer to take them somewhere you’d think would be meaningful to them.”

“A letter! That’s just it, of course!” Sirona watched as the boy waved his hand in thanks as he rushed out the doors, she hoped everything would turn up for the better the next time she saw those two together.

It didn’t however, for just days before the 5th, Sirona herself had received an unmarked letter notifying her of Lodgok’s passing – his gentle soul did not deserve the fate he was dealt with by his brother’s hands. Yet also here in her supposedly lively pub, sat another lost soul who she dearly tried to keep from straying to the Hog’s Head by keeping the Sallow boy’s tankard refilled with Butterbeer.

She’d heard he just lost his uncle and that the Sallow girl also informed him late, the poor twins were now left all alone.

And just when Sirona felt the boy slipping away, from the doors came in a face who she hoped would be successful in reeling Sallow from his darkest thoughts.

“Sebastian!”

Sirona was glad to see the boy encased in a hug, he dearly looked like he needed one…

“You’re safe now. I promise, I wouldn’t let them take you away.”

It may have well been a secret language only the two students shared with each other, but Sirona was nonetheless relieved to see the boy’s shoulders relax, the undeniable soft sob that escaped him was a sound that would forever tug at her heart.

And it seemed that heart wrenching sob echoed around the wooden panels of her establishment as the once lively pub was filled with students of varying years, all of which ranged from sniffling for their parents to a quiet uncertainty that loomed over the older ones.

Hogwarts was under attack, and despite how Sirona herself could not believe such a situation would even come about, the evacuated students who took shelter in the Three Broomsticks were enough to leave her unsettled for what was to come.

“Sirona! Are they here? Did they at least stop by here?” She could only shake her head in response, clearly seeing the Sallow boy was distraught.

“Sebastian! We have to settle ourselves and wait for Black’s announcement –“

“They could still be there, Ominis!” His next words were barely audible but somehow Sirona managed to catch a hint of it, “What if they’re fighting for their lives – alone? Against a Goblin Rebellion!”

“Attention, students!” Black did make an announcement right after that, clearing his throat as if today was a normal occurrence, “I am proud to announce that my esteemed faculty has handled the – uhm… rebellion. Yes, the Goblin rebellion – wait, what was that?”

Everyone seemed to hold their breath as a House Elf seemed to whisper the latest news to his master, who gasped out as if he was scandalized, “A casualty you say???”

Sirona felt her heart drop at the sudden news, she could only watch as Sebastian Sallow all but rushed out of the doors, fearing for the worst.

Fear melted like snow from a season past, and while Spring came a bit too late for those who grieved, the flowers still bloomed.

The Three Broomsticks was once again abuzz with an energy of celebration and nostalgia – students crowded with relief at having survived their O.W.L.s and others were busy planning their summer ahead – two of which Sirona couldn’t help but approach, “Butterbeers on me, to the Hero of Hogwarts.” She’d winked before leaving the pair in their usual spot by the counter, not really meaning to overhear…

“So… I heard Fig left you a place in his will, back to London it is for you then?”

“Yes… and Feldcroft?”

“Can’t say I relish the thought of spending summer by myself, but I have a way to keep busy by doing some odd errands here and there, I suppose.”

“What would you say to a ticket to London?”

“What..?”

“I was only really planning to spend a few weeks there, fix some things that need to be done and well… spend some time in Feldcroft with you… if you’ll have me?”

“Of course! I – but why even take me to London – not that I’m complaining but –“

“Because I care, Sebastian. I – care about you… very much.”

Sirona couldn’t keep herself from spying a glance then, very happy to see the pair both sporting flustered faces. It may have taken a while, but there wasn’t a perfect time than any to start anew.

[monstersinthecosmos]

I know you probably don’t want to dwell on the show and the negative but I absolutely hate what has happened on here and how hateful people are in the VC fandom it’s just very demoralizing and makes me want to retreat from anything besides the books completely. The discourse was spicy before the show but everything is just even more divisive now and it has sucked the fun out of it. Not really an ask more of a vent sorry

Hi there!

You’re correct that I don’t particularly find it fun to dwell on the negative stuff – as you said yourself, SOMETIMES THE DISCOURSE SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF IT. But I do understand how you feel and I want to say a couple things and I hope this helps you find a groove.

First of all, I did my best not to acknowledge it too much because I didn’t want to validate the folks who were being cunts to me lol, but please know that this fandom (at least on Tumblr) has ALWAYS been kinda fucking violent towards me LOL. I started VC tumbling back in 2016 and it’s ALWAYS been a fucking trash fire. It is hard out there for Marius stans lmfao.

Like, when I was first posting on Tumblr and acclimating to the Tumblr culture it was so much of like, me feeling brave enough to share meta only for someone to be RB’ing me to tell me I’m wrong, or me talking about how much I liked something about Marius only for someone to vague me, or it was me hosting the huge fandom Discord back in 2017 only for people to then come on tumblr and complain about how the Discord was way too Marius Friendly as if like, a drama-free space where we can discuss the books makes it a harbor for predators.

Of course I also had the gaggle of fucking morons who were constantly stalking me, catfishing their way into my servers to try to take screenshots and write call outs and cancel me, who would not stop preaching about how “all these big blogs” are “actually such terrible people” because “look at the things they ship” even when I’d never been unkind to them, even occasionally donated to their GFMs. These are folks who think they’re morally in the right for protecting the virtue of Armand’s poor teenage asshole and executed this justice by stalking and harassing an ACTUAL PERSON LOL. Like, listen. I’m sorry to burst ur bubble, but Armand doesn’t exist. He’s letters on a paper. I’m actually a real person and you’re up my fucking ass because I don’t’ even fucking know why, you’re jealous of my fucking Tumblr engagement or something? Which one of us is actually the creep here lol?? Is this a race to the bottom to be the valedictorian of clown school on the website for homeschooled clowns?

I’ve also had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of acephobic discourse, being told I don’t do enough to protect every individual in fandom from their own bullies as if it's my job to do that, being called ableist for how I wrote Daniel in my fics even though I was projecting and discussing my own personal experiences – I’ve also had a project collaborator have a tantrum and try to steal my work until I had to threaten with legal action, I’ve been put on block lists, I’ve had many people consume my fics in secret without actually leaving comments because I’m too toxic for them to communicate with in public.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

This was all before AMC showed up LMFAO. It was not easy for me! It’s still not always easy!

And so yeah like, by nature of the fandom EXPLODING we are going to see more drama. More people is more drama. The nature of the discourse often hedges into real life issues that people are very opinionated and passionate about and there are conflicting needs inside the same space about how to hold conversations. Even just the other day I RB’d a joke about Anne Rice and OP got upset with me because they didn’t want actual fans interacting with it. Whoops! I didn’t know! I just thought it was funny. ;.;  

Even in good faith and with the best of intentions we’re going to step on each other’s toes, and we’re gonna find people we don’t vibe with. And that’s normal and it’s fine.

What ISN’T normal is this inability to disengage that I think we see often in online space, and I don’t want to get into a whole side essay about all the reasons why I think that happens. But sometimes you gotta be the bigger person and take it on the chin.

Like, yeah, it sucks. It sucks the fun out of the room when you share a space with such bitter people who can’t be kind to each other. But like. THAT’S A THEM PROBLEM, YOU KNOW? And I think we gotta remember that sometimes people like that do it for the attention or the spike of dopamine when they can pick a fight and honestly like, you don’t need to waste YOUR OWN time on it, but you’re also doing that person a kindness if you don’t enable the bad behavior.

And it sucks that Tumblr’s mute tools are awful!!!!! It would make navigating so much easier to be able to curate the dash a little better and keep the bad actors out of your space. I sometimes just fuck off and don’t even come online for days if I know I’m not in a good headspace and won’t have the strength to just fucking ignore it, because sometimes drama catches my eye and I get nosy and go down the rabbit hole, too – having ADHD makes it really hard to avoid sometimes LOL – but like I try to be reasonable and love myself enough to avoid it when I can help it. I’m not willing to make my own problems everyone else’s problem, and I hope that some of these shit starters in fandom will get there, themselves.

So yeah it blows when the vibes are fucking atrocious, and it REALLY blows when it’s a fandom this small where you can’t avoid it. Even when it’s a vocal minority it really just kills the fucking mood.

BUT WHAT I WILL SAY.

Whenever I say shit like “write what you want to read” and we’re talking about fanfic, or even meta or even silly headcanon posts or jokes, that also means draw what you want to see, it also means make what you want to hold, apply it to any creation you can think of. Put the thing you want to see into the world. And it counts for fandom, too.

I don’t want to be part of a fandom that’s constantly infighting and attacking people, so I don’t fight and attack people. I don’t want to be called a predator for being a Marius fan and so I don’t engage in posts that say as much, not even to argue, because I don’t want my followers (who might also be Marius fans!) to have to see that on their dash. I want us to protect our peace and create a space we want to be in.

Like I have a policy that any time someone says I’m a freak or any time I see truly godawful word salad discourse, I go out of my way to post something kinky and offputting about Marius LMFAOOOO  because I want to be surrounded by reasonable fun people who share my sensibility for fiction. AND SOMETIMES IT’S CRICKETS, AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO FIND YOUR PEOPLE. But at the end of the day I know I’m being my most sincere self and I’m trying to have a good time and just post fun things that I enjoy. And like, the book fandom is small as fuck and we’re all famished, but I think if more of us did that, we’d build a much more productive and tolerant space.

And for all the shit I’ve mentioned, all the drama and attacks and all the times people have harassed me or tried to make me feel small, you know what? I just got back from @apoptoses & @cup-of-lixx 's wedding and they met in VCblr! We spent all week with our VCblr friends! We all went to New Orleans together last Halloween !

When I used to work on ships it was like a fandom friend world tour! I had so many coffees in port with my vampire friends!

I’ve learned so much about writing from all the time I’ve spent here and the community of writer friends who supported me! There’s folks I met on VCblr that I talk to LITERALLY every day! They are such huge parts of my life and genuine life-long friends!!!!!!

Sometimes it seems like the ROI is garbage but like, so much of finding the joy is also learning to protect yourself from the negativity.

It IS out there. It DOES suck. And it’s lonely when you haven’t found your people yet. But fandom doesn’t have to be the 500 angry assholes arguing with each other about a fucking TV show, it can be your 3 besties in a private group chat having a great time.

Like I just drove @hekateinhell to the airport (met THROUGH TUMBLR!) and on the way back I was listening to an episode of Last Day and they were discussing the concept that “community is a life raft” and it hit me so hard man!!!!!!!!!!!

Find your people! Block the shit starters! Mute discourse buzzwords that you know are going to upset you!

Keep! Posting! What! You! Want! To! See!!

Fandom is self-generating, we can do this!

My inbox is always open and BELIEVE ME I have been motherfucking persona non grata in this place before and I know how rancid the vibe can be so please come talk any time it's grinding you down, I got you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[littledogtarot]

Pick a Card for the Weekend of 4/19/24—4/21/24:

Card reveals and discussion below the read more!

The Hierophant represents tradition, order, and systems. It speaks to knowledge you can only gain by adapting to the rules of a new institution or the norms of a new group. It may represent a mentor or teacher you are going to study with, or simply an organization that has knowledge you will have to work for. Quite often it represents higher education, but it might simple be a new class or hobby you're going to pick up. There's a lot of success potential here, but you'll have to put in time and effort to get what you want.

The Nine of Wands represents the last push before successful work completion. It comes near the end of the suit of wands, meaning that you've been working on this for a while, and you're almost there. It's a sign that you need to stand your ground and keep going, because you've got this. It'll be hard work, but it's worth doing. Success is in sight, so just hold on. You're close to release.

The Wheel of Fortune often represents a big change coming to your life, one that will bring you close to your true purpose or passions. It's also a reminder that the nature of life is change, and that this too shall pass. You're on a journey, but you still have farther to go. Savor the good moments, and trust that the hard ones are helping to shape you into the person you're meant to be.

Deck is the Light Seer's Tarot by Chris Anne.